#back on my Hotwire bullshit

[culturalmochiart]

Holds him gentle

[steddielations]

Wayne pov, implied neglect, abandonment

Wayne gets a call from Hawkins Elementary that Eddie hasn’t been to school in two days.

They couldn’t get ahold of Al on the phone, as usual. Wayne hopes his suspicions are wrong, but he already knows what he’s going to find when he shows up to the shabby old house on Philadelphia street with a McDonald’s bag in hand.

His knock on the door goes unanswered, but he sees small fingers and big round eyes peeking through the side window blinds. 

“Hey, Eddie, it’s your Uncle Wayne. Open the door, it’s alright.”

Eddie shuffles away from the window, but there’s still no answer.

“You hungry? I brought those nugget things you like, that’s all. Some kinda toy in here too.”

After a moment, the door slowly opens a sliver. One big button eye peeks through the crack and a pale skinny arm reaches out.

Wayne hands over the food. “Gonna let me come inside?” 

Eddie’s arm snakes back in with the bag like a claw machine. But after another moment, the door swings open fully, revealing Eddie in rumpled clothes at least a couple days worn. The shadows under his eyes tell Wayne all he needs to know.

“Dad’s gone to the store,” Eddie smiles nervously, he didn’t inherit Al’s ability to lie behind it. “He said he’ll be right back.”

Wayne just nods as he comes inside. One look around confirms what he already knew. By the window, there’s a blanket and a scatter of candy wrappers and empty soda cans where Eddie’s been sleeping. Waiting and watching the driveway for Al.

This wouldn’t be the first time Al’s gone off and left Eddie to fend for himself. Wayne’s been helping out as much as he can since Eddie’s poor mama passed. He doesn’t know much about raising kids but he knows Al’s one dumb selfish bastard to be leaving Eddie alone for days since the ripe age of 8.

Wayne ignores the twist in his chest and the stab of anger he feels and doesn’t mention it. He follows Eddie to the coffee table in front of the couch where Eddie digs into the McDonald’s sack.

“School called and said you weren’t there. You feelin’ bad?” He reaches out, gently pushing back Eddie’s wild curls to feel his forehead. He’s surprised Eddie lets him, too busy scarfing down chicken nuggets. “No fever.” Wayne notes, but Eddie’s hair needs a good wash.

Eddie’s narrow shoulders slump a bit. He doesn’t look at Wayne, tearing open his chocolate milk with his teeth. 

“I just— didn’t wanna go today. I hate school. Miss Taylor always gives me a bad behavior grade even when I act the best in class. She calls me Junior. Munson Junior.”

“Thought you liked being called Junior. Like your dad.”

Eddie shrugs, those shadows darkening on him. “Everyone forgets I have my own name too. Sometimes I just wanna be Eddie.”

Already, he’s feeling the weight of his last name. Al taught him to hotwire the second he turned 10 and how to pick locks even before that. Munson tradition, Al wouldn’t listen when Wayne told him that’s bullshit. What seem like cool tricks to Eddie now already make him guilty in everyone’s eyes. Wayne’s been feeling it all his life, thanks to his old man and now Eddie’s got Al to thank for making it even worse.

“That’s good, you just keep reminding them,” Wayne says, being careful with his next words. “When you finish that, why don’t you go pack a bag, alright? You can come stay with me until your dad gets back.”

Eddie goes stiff, chewing slower now. “It— it hasn’t been long. He said he’d be right back.” His eyes drift over to Wayne, checking to see if he buys it. Wayne doesn’t. So Eddie huffs, “I wanna stay here. I hate the trailer park.”

That’s just him repeating Al’s shit talk, so Wayne doesn’t take offense. “Your friend’s been askin’ about you. That little girl next door.”

Eddie perks up at that, “Ronnie?” Wayne nods and thinks that does the trick for a second, but Eddie stubbornly sulks again. “I can’t go. Dad told me to stay here until he gets back.”

“Well, you shouldn’t be here alone. You don’t have to be.”

“I’m not scared to stay by myself,” Eddie insists, sitting up straighter, looking even younger trying to look older. “Dad said I’m not a little kid anymore. I’m 10 now and I can look after myself. He taught me to use the stove and everything. I always do fine on my own.”

“So he’s been leaving a lot, then? You know you can call me to come pick you up,” Wayne tries not to frame it like it’s Eddie’s fault, pointing to where his phone number is pinned on the fridge with a magnet.

Eddie’s lip wobbles despite how he tries to square his jaw.

“There’s nothing wrong.”

“You ain’t—”

“You said to call if I need you and I don’t need you, Wayne! I'm fine!”

Eddie shoves the food away, his eyes wide and shiny when he cuts them back to Wayne. Not glaring with anger, just hurt. 

“It’s not fine,” Wayne tells him, gentle as the first time he held him, just a tiny thing all bundled up in Elizabeth’s knitting. “Your dad’s got his head in his ass again. You can’t stay here on your own, no matter what he said. I ain’t leaving you by yourself.”

“I’m not going.” Eddie’s more pleading now than arguing. “I have to stay here so Dad can find me when he gets back. Don’t you get that? If I’m not here, I won’t see him.”

That’s what it’s really about, Eddie thinking it’s his responsibility to keep up with his Dad. Instead of the other way around.

“If he comes looking for you, he’ll know where to find you.” But Al won’t. It’s never Eddie that he comes back for. Wayne doesn’t tell Eddie that, but now Eddie’s starting to learn that on his own. Al proved it to him time and time again.

“Why do you even care?” Eddie’s angry now. But it’s not really Wayne that he’s mad at. They both know that.

“It’s alright, son, c���mon now.” Wayne reaches for him but Eddie quickly pushes his hand away.

“You aren’t my dad.” Tears escape with the words, and seeing his pain hurts Wayne more than anything he could say, or do. He pushes Wayne again. “So why do you care? Why are you here?”

He doesn’t need an answer, he just needs to let it out.

So Wayne sits there while Eddie shoves his chest and cries harder, “You aren’t my dad. Why do you care?” Wayne curls his hands around Eddie’s smaller ones as the question turns to, “Why aren’t you?” Then it’s a broken little sob of, “Why aren’t you my dad?”

Wayne catches Eddie when he finally tires himself out, and instead of pushing Wayne away, Eddie’s clinging to him. Eddie’s holding on like Wayne’s all he’s got left in the world. Wayne hugs Eddie to his chest, wishing there was more he could do.

Al put a hole in Eddie and he’s digging it deeper everyday, one that Wayne won’t ever quite fit into. He tries to fill it the best he can, giving Eddie the only bedroom in the trailer, going to the talent show because Al never makes good on his promises to be there for Eddie, not letting Eddie stay in this damn house alone waiting for someone who’s never gonna show up. Maybe Wayne’s not that someone, but he can still be here for Eddie. And he’s gonna be.

“C’mon, let’s get you outta here.”

[thefreakandthehair]

@eddiemonth prompt, oct 21st:  Hellfire | Back in Black - AC/DC | Tenacious a/n: so, I've written about Eddie inheriting Hellfire. now, it's time to write about Eddie founding Hellfire! he's a little shit in this one, and I love him so much it's nearly clinical. wrote this in the car on the way to my in-law's family party so it'll go up on ao3 later 🦇 ao3 collection | tumblr masterlist

“Mr. Munson,” the principal starts, seated opposite Eddie across the desk. “You’re a freshman. Freshmen don’t start clubs here. Why don’t you look around a little, broaden your horizons. There are some wonderful sports and music opportu–”

Eddie’s arms are crossed over his chest and he sits with both legs stretched out in front of him, ankles crossed. “It’s Eddie, and no. Why can’t I start a club? Why do only upperclassmen get to? Or is this just because it’s a Dungeons and Dragons club?” 

As if I’d wanna go and join the kids who look at me like the spawn of fucking Satan, he wants to say, but he needs to play it cool, hard as that may be. Or at least unless the principal, whose name he hasn’t bothered to commit to memory yet, doubles down on his refusal; then, all bets are off. 

“Of course not, we just encourage our youngest students to expand their interests. You might find that you’re good at something surprising or–”

Eddie knows that interrupting over and over again won’t help his case, but he can’t help himself. Hearing the same bullshit over and over again is infuriating and there’s no good reason that he can’t start a Dungeons and Dragons club for himself and the other kids with wild imaginations and nowhere else to go after that final school bell.

“Or, maybe starting a new club will let students try something new, something that’s been shit on for years that they otherwise may not get the chance to try?” 

The principal levels him with an exasperated look and a heavy sigh before leaning forward on his forearms over the clunky wooden desk. 

“Mr. Munson–”

“It’s Eddie,” Eddie insists for the second time. Mr. Munson is his dad and the name gives him a chill. He may carry a pocketknife and know how to hotwire a car, but he’s still no Al Munson. 

Another sigh. “Eddie. The day’s almost over, can we continue this discussion tomorrow? Buses will be lining up any minute.”

Now or never, he thinks to himself. 

“Well, then you have about a minute to make a decision. Can I start it or not? Maybe even on a, uh, a trial basis?” He shrugs and smiles with pursed lips and a raised eyebrow. 

Principal Whatever His Name Is drops his head for a second before looking back up at Eddie. “You’ve worn me down, Mr. Mun– Eddie. Trial basis only, and you need a faculty member to sponsor it. If you can do your due diligence, I’ll allow it.”

“Great!” Eddie claps once and stands. “Mr. Clarke already agreed, so I think we’re all set here. Good doing business with you.”  

“Wait–” 

The bell rings, saving Eddie like it has so many times in the past. He’s halfway out the door, stepping into the stampede of students running for buses, when he turns back around to see the principal shaking his head and rolling his eyes. 

“You know, my Uncle always says if you roll your eyes too much, they’ll get stuck like that.” 

Without another word, he slips into the tide and loads his bus, taking a seat in the back alone and whipping out his notebook and a black marker. Shades of black and red color the lined pages in the form of devils and demons and the words Hellfire Club hover above each sketch.

Good thing I didn’t tell him the name.

[scaryscarecrows]

I need Frank helping Jason recover from something, like drowning or Jay fainting. Idk, but my brain has been on a need for family fluff but Batman is a crappy dad.

I can imagine like Jason collapsing and Frank cradling him and comforting him as he waits for Mark. Jason just breaking down, bleeding everywhere, and Frank being the only one to calm him with his supreme Dad Skills TM. Bonus points if they’re trapped. Bonus bonus points if Frank is a little beat up to.

Frank's polite opinion on Gotham's weirdness is, in a sentence, 'we should have detonated the mines'.

Look. They'd evacuated the place. So a few cops got caught in the blast, boo-fucking-hoo. It would have prevented what can only be called 'big bullshit bug monsters' from erupting from the ground. On a more selfish level, it would have spared him the tight, argumentative chatter in his ear.

"--walk on my own--"

"I'm not picking you back up when you fall and Riley's hotwiring a car, just deal--"

"T'is but a scratch--"

"Jesus fucking Christ--"

"Both of you shut up," he says shortly. "Just gimme the ETA, here."

Quick taps hit his eardrum: found a minivan. Twenty minutes if it's not complete shit.

Minivans are complete shit, however. Frank mentally adds five minutes to the timeframe.

"Is anybody in immediate danger of bleeding out?"

"Armor's keeping me together," the boss says, voice slightly strangled. "M'okay. M'okay."

That proves to be a lie, when they do turn up twenty-five minutes later. Things go downhill from there, and roughly forty minutes after that, Jason's not doing well. He's semiconscious, muttering about kaleidoscopes and scrabblings in the vents, and when Frank reaches over to pat his face down with a wet wipe, he'll swear it's sizzling.

"Mm--"

"Shh. You're okay. Just go back to sleep."

"Somethin's comin'."

"Nothing's coming."

"But--"

"Just calm down. Nothing's coming."

He falls silent, looking at the ceiling with lidded eyes. Frank ruffles his hair and leans back in his chair, rubbing absently at his knee. Nobody saw this shit coming. Apparently this is weird even for Gotham. Frank had worried at first that these things were their version of cicadas, erupting every eighteen years or whatever bullshit, but no.

...

He's not sure if he feels better or worse about that, really.

"Please..."

"Shh. Just go to sleep, son." He rests his hand on Jason's head, grimacing at the warmth. "Just go to sleep."

If you have Ao3 (you should! the fun people are over there!), you can see another story that fits your wants

What the Water Gave Me

and the story that the above ficlet is an 'outtake' from

Every Whumpee's Needs (though it continued throughout the month)

[nova--spark]

i'm gonna be deranged and incite au shenanigans, so lets say that an accident with a spacebridge has transported Rachet into the strayverse (if he's already existent in the strayverse, no he isn't), and of course the first he does is yell at thea, asking where he is and being belligerent about it. (plot hole if you asked how he knows thea but not her world, I imagine thea to be a dimensional traveler and thats why she exist in your other continuities.) Plasmaclaw's overprotectiveness would kick in and he'd yell at Ratchet saying how he's the only one who can talk to anthea like that, but he's gonna end up teasing anthea with ratchet lol.

Addi my dear, please know this idea has beyond brought me joy and hilariousness.

Because I had in fact been tempted to mess with multiversal shenanigans of all kinds so, mind reader??

Anyway Ratchet does indeed exist in the Astray-Verse! Actually you can take my recent redesign of him as the version in Thea's Verse--

Anywho~

We shall say that, in this scenario, shenanigans with a TFP Space Bridge, perhaps attempting to amplify it with say, Cybermatter? Resulted in the following discovery:

Multiversal Bridges.

As Ratchet found out, when he was dropped in the middle of a military base, almost reminiscent of his own familiar quarters on Jasper, and--

Wait, where was everyone. Where is the bridge!? And why can he not contact any of them!?

He was gonna kill Wheeljack and Knockout for whatever they probably did. [Spoiler Alert: None were at fault]

After a week without finding anyone, or having issues contacting his team, Ratchet finally managed to hotwire a way to contact at least someone.

It just so happened to be the same private frequency the Strays used when rescuing Decepticon deserters.

Unaware of this fact, Ratchet just went to the coordinates sent, grumbling at the fact he could not bridge to them.

Safe to say, the meeting of Stray-Anthea with her team and TFP Ratchet were a chaotic 20 minutes, as the medic recognized her quite quickly, and scolded her for not sending everyone else, or why they even had to meet here and--

S!Thea: I'm sorry, but how do you know me?

TFP!Ratchet: I beg your pardon? I am your medic, how would I not!?

S!Thea:Uh, no, my medic is Ratchet and Cloud, not--

TFP!Ratchet: I would hope I certainly am! I highly doubt many others could handle a human who bleeds Energon!!

At that, Thea was quick to grab a scanner, frowning as she, Cloud and Proxy got the necessary information, while an agitated Ratchet watched, arms crossed and confused.

Plasma stood 5 feet from his ward, a growl of his engines as he looked at the familiar-yet-unfamiliar mech.

After a few more minutes of confusion, the scans confirmed it.

This was Ratchet. But not their Ratchet.

Oh boy. This was gonna be interesting to explain at base.

It was in fact, not as easy to explain, but it was clear at the very least: This Ratchet was from a world where the war had ended fairly recently, knew Anthea [and her antics], and had arrived here by a space-bridge mishap.

Plasma's overprotectiveness was justified, I mean, in the few horus they'd known THIS Ratchet, they knew that...well, an Anthea existed in his world, one who'd gone through a similar ordeal to the one of this world.

So, more than a few times, Ratchet received a warning growl from the former assassin, when he would get a bit frustrated with the young woman. Said overprotectiveness faded with time however, as they bonded or rather, found one common thread:

Returning the attitude Anthea gave them, tenfold.

Research into multiversal bridging could not come faster, she thought, now that she has 2 Ratchets checking on her vitals, and sassing her back for the bullshit shenanigans she would pull on missions and more.

-------

And also, now I got Dimensional Traveler Strays in my head, wtf that's such a cool idea???

[the-delta-42]

Firsts Part 6

[First] [Previous] [Next]

Firsts Part 6

Pet names

A few days before the ‘Ericson's’ arrived, Clementine found herself in Baltimore, kneeling in front of a locked garage door, concentrating as she picked the lock.

“How long has he had this place?” Asked Clementine, glancing at Ava.

“He’s had it for years.” Answered Ava, leaning over Clementine, “since his marriage of his first wife, I think he forgot about it until he got that clearance notice.”

“What’s he got here?”

“I think he’s forgotten.” Answered Ava, straightening up, “I’m going to check the car, since he keeps insisting the keys are in there.”

Mariana watched as her Stepmother walked to the car, before looking at Clementine, “So,” Clementine looked at Mariana, “What pet-names do you a Gabe have?”

“We don’t.” Responded Clementine, as she fiddled with the lock.

“What couple doesn’t have pet-names for each other?”

“Me and your brother, apparently.” Answered Clementine, as the lock twisted, “Got it!”

Lifting the door up, Clementine and Mariana stared at the mustang in front of them.

“It’s alright,” Said Ava, as she jogged up to them, “I found…the…keys…”

Clementine looked at Ava, “Is this his car?”

F

Jesse rolled his eyes as Justin got Alex in a headlock and Louis and Marlon egged them on. Minerva and Violet were curled up in the back of the bus, Sophie was staring at Louis, Tenn and Willy were watching the landscape go by, Brody and Mitch were sharing headphones, Omar was watching a cooking show on his phone, and Aasim was looking at Ruby with mooneyes.

Glancing at the front, Jesse saw Ms. Martin on the phone, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Yo, Jess!” Jesse looked towards Enid, “What d’ya think our new stomping ground’ll be like?”

“Like a normal school.” Scoffed Jesse, he didn’t tell them he’d already been there or that his quote-unquote ‘missing’ sister was there. He wanted to see Louis get the shit kicked out of him.

“Apparently,” Bo butted in, “there’s some bitch that thinks she’s hard there.”

“That’s bullshit.” Snorted Violet, “Who told you that?”

“I heard Ms. Martin talking about her.”

Jesse glanced at the nurse, he had a feeling they were talking about Clem, but he wasn’t sure.

“How’d finding your sister goin’?” Asked Minerva, looking at Jesse.

“I found her.” Jesse’s reply made the bus go silent.

“Fuck off.” Said Sophie, taking her eyes off of Louis.

“No, really.” Jesse looked around, “Y’know Javi?”

“Mr Publicity Stunt?” Asked Marlon, “Who doesn’t?”

“Yeah, well, y’know he tried to foster before, but it was some psycho who stole, crashed and torched his car,” Jesse, looked at Bo, “turns out that was my sister.”

“That happened seven years ago.” Said Aasim, frowning, “You said ‘Clemmy’ was a year younger than you. She would’ve been nine.”

“Yeah,” Shrugged Jesse, “I didn’t believe it either, until she hotwired a car.”

“And she wasn’t arrested?”

“No, she asked the owners permission.” Responded Jesse, “She didn’t even wait for them to unlock it.”

F

Clementine idly spun her ‘borrowed’ car in circles. Mariana and Ava sat off to the side, waiting for Gabe and David to arrive, Clementine had a feeling David wouldn’t be happy she hotwired another one of his cars, but they had to entertain themselves until Gabe and David got her.

Ava spotted a car coming towards them, recognising it as David’s mothers. After stopping the car, David got out and watched Clementine donut.

“Is,” David glanced Ava, “Is she driving backwards?”

“She’s alternating.” Said Ava, “She offered to drive it back to your mom’s place, but, well, knowing some of the cops around here…”

David nodded, before glancing at Clementine, “…She hotwired it, didn’t she?”

F

“So, how did you and Gabriel meet?” Clementine froze as Gabe’s grandmother looked at her.

“We, er, we met at school?” Clementine nervously glanced at Gabe.

“Abuela.” Groaned Gabe, as the old woman frowned.

“I don’t suppose you know the name of the animal that attacked him?” She gave Clementine a piercing look.

“Er…” Clementine glanced at Gabe, “Kinda?”

She looked at Clementine expectantly, prompting Gabe to speak, “Well, I did provoke them.”

“I’m just trying to find out how she went from hating you to dating you.”

Clementine glanced at the open window, before glancing back at the old woman looking at her expectantly. In the blink on an eye, Clementine threw herself out of the window, rolling off the van roof and onto the ground.

Gabe winced as his grandmother raised an eyebrow at him, “It’s..er…complicated?”

“I was actually going to ask if she was okay.” Said his Abuela, getting another wince from Gabe.

“R-right.” Gabed hurried out of the room, down the stairs and out the door. He found Clementine leaning against the van, holding her shoulder, “Are you alright?”

Clementine looked at him, “I think, I’ve just dislocated my arm.” Her arm swayed uselessly as she moved.

David looked over Gabe’s shoulder, before sighing.

/*/

“Okay,” Ava placed a hand on Clementine’s arm, “Three, two-”

She roughly relocated the arm, prompting Clementine to release a short scream, “Son of a fuck!”

“You okay?” Asked Gabe, wincing.

“Oh, yeah, I’m great, Babe.” Grumbled Clementine, rotating her shoulder.

Gabe let out a snort, while rolling his eyes.

F

The drive back to Tennessee passed quietly, Mariana had chosen to ride with David in his car, while Ava took Gabe and Clementine.

“You called me ‘Babe’.” Said Gabe, making Clementine look at him.

“What?”

“You called me ‘Babe’.” Repeated Gabe, making Clementine blush.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Nope. I didn’t.”

“Yes, Clementine,” Ava interjected, “you did. And after you said you and Gabe don’t have pet names.”

“Aw, Amor.” Teased Gabe, smirking at Clementine.

“Really?!”

“Come on, Baby.”

“Gabe, I swear to god-”

In the car behind them, David and Mariana frowned as Gabe laughed at something Clementine did.

“So,” David glanced at Mariana, “how long have the pet names been a thing?”

“A couple months.” Shrugged Mariana, “I don’t think they even realise they’re using them yet.”

F

Jesse frowned as he looked around the Brooke’s Garden. AJ had wandered up to him and just stared at him before running over to Clementine. Dropping down next to one of Clementine’s friends, he thought her name was Sarah, and looked at her.

“You’re older than I am.” Jesse frowned, looking at Sarah.

“I was held back a couple years.” Answered Sarah, flipping through a book.

“Okay, so you were held back, Clem was pushed forwards, your friends with your old bully and the only normal one is an idiot.” Summarised Jesse, think on what Rebecca had told him.

“I wouldn’t call Duck an idiot.” Defended Sarah, looking up from the book.

“He’s got his head stuck in a bucket,” Jesse pointed out, “and he trying to squish his head in an attempt to remove it.”

Sarah looked over at Duck, who, like Jesse said, had his head and hands in a bucket. Jesse looked over at Clementine, freezing when he saw her Latino friend come up behind and wrap his arms around her.

“What’s he doing?” Hissed Jesse, glaring at Gabe.

Sarah frowned at him, “He’s hugging his girlfriend, what does it look like he’s doing?”

“His what?!”

“They’ve been dating for a few months now.”

Sarah was prevented from saying anything else by a clump of snow being thrown at her, “Gill, you son of a-!” Sarah grabbed a pile of snow and threw it at Gill.

Jesse felt a snowball hit his shoulder, before another hit his leg.

“Great shot, Babe!” Yelled Clementine, as chaos erupted around them.

“Thanks, Amor!”

Rebecca pulled the window shut, just as AJ threw a pile of snow at it. The toddler poked his tongue out, as Duck grabbed him and slid behind the shed. Jesse joined Duck, AJ and Gill behind the shed, while Clementine, Gabe, Becca and Sarah rolled the table onto its side.

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Gill looked at Duck, “how’s your mom?”

“She’s been in the hospital for a bit,” Shrugged Duck, having started calling Sarita ‘mom’ shortly after Rebecca and Alvin adopted Clementine, “they’re hoping this pregnancy will last.”

Gill hummed, as AJ stuck his head out from around the shed, just as Becca ran across the garden to grab something, only to skid on some ice and body slam the fence.

[mamamittens]

Ugh, there's been like, two dudes breaking into my community and failing to steal cars so they leave after 15 minutes and my roomie is getting paranoid despite us being all the way in the back of the community (and much less advised to steal from cause it's far from the exit relatively speaking unless they can jump like, 8 feet to reach the top of the solid brick wall encasing the community).

Frankly, it's a little embarrassing cause this is the second time they've tried and failed to steal a vehicle. Literally just hotwire and drive, the gate opens automatically to let you out dude, what the hell are you doing... And we live next to a speed trap where there's always a cop with nothing better to do than give you a ticket for going over the speed limit so they'd have like... Two minutes to disappear tops assuming the cop drops his keys in the floorboard and can't find them for a minute.

So if anyone has cheap home defense solutions that'd be great. I've been eyeing a solid wood bat cause anyone that wakes me at 3 AM on a workday for bullshit crimes will be spending considerable time in the ICU istg but I'm open to suggestions. I have neither the money or the permit to buy a gun so forget that.

[x-authorship-x]

Anon who asked about Shisui using Koto (too long to write it all) on himself here, now I'm thinking ED!Shisui somehow realizing ED!Itachi got free from Kabuto's control with his eye and trying to do it on himself because he can't stand the idea of fighting against Konoha&Co., but having to be sort of subtle about it because if Kabuto realizes what he's doing too early he might keep him under tighter control or something to keep him from trying again

That, or Shisui just straight up using Koto on Kabuto himself and forcing him to use all his Edo Tensei on Konoha&Co.'s side instead of against lmao

I'm... really intrigued and it's because my mind immediately swerved onto a tangent. I don't particularly want to kick the beehive of people who know far far more about canon than I do, this could all be purely fanon theoretical but-

How does Mangekyou...work? Like, the differences in techniques?

Because I just read this ask and thought "does ED!Shisui even HAVE Kotoamatsukami, there's only two eyes and Danzo had one and Itachi had the other, so is his corpse blind or what?" But then I was like... Does it matter??? In that, does the mangekyou ability come from only within the eye or does the original user play a bigger part?

Again, this is mainly for fanon shenanigans, i know people with canon receipts would snipe this idea dead so please be gentle with me on a Wednesday morning thank you

But just for the sake of this, Sasuke got EMS when he took Itachi's Mangekyou but he didn't get Itachi's own special techniques (or blindness???) And his own Susanoo didn't change to Itachi's. Kakashi got Obito's eye when it was just a fresh Sharingan and then they matured to Mangekyou together. Would Kakashi's have matured if Obito hadn't also witnessed Rin's death? Dunno. HOWEVER, Danzo uses both Kotoamatsukami and Izanagi mangekyou techniques, so obviously the techniques are accessed directly through the eyes and not the combo of Mangekyou + OG user. Right?

But... That's inconsistent? If EVERYTHING Mangekyou was stored just in the eyes, then why didn't Sasuke inherit Itachi's blindness, techniques, or Susanoo? It seems that Susanoo users can actively find and use variations of weapons and techniques, so the Mangekyou is fucking customizable to a degree 👍 that implies that the user has some degree of influence on the inner workings of Mangekyou and, therefore, that Mangekyou aren't necessarily a 'complete whole' that is neatly picked up and popped elsewhere (like one skull to another)

Basically, for the sake of a really fucking kickass fanfic, I think Shisui should be the key to Kotoamatsukami. I think that the stupid ten-years thing should just- not apply to Shisui. I think Shisui should be the only person able to sense Kotoamatsukami activating. I think Shisui should be able to "remotely" influence Kotoamatsukami. I think Shisui himself should embody some of the strengths of Kotoamatsukami even when ED-ed or blind. Is this incredibly OP? Not really if you think about canon bullshit (Itachi really pulled Izanami out that time, huh) but also yes. Do I care? No ❤️

So basically what I'm suggesting is that Kabuto should bring a blind Shisui back with Edo Tensei and Shisui just... tears through the control ✨

Kabuto: do this

Shisui, hotwiring the controls: no🥰

[dollriki]

HOW TO GET AWAY WITH ⠀⠀MURDER (amongst other things)

masterlist playlist next

— CH 1. The Night we Met

WARNINGS 🩸 mentions or murder and blood

Truth be told, you'd never murdered someone before.

It wasn't exactly a common hobby for people. 

You always thought it wouldn't be that bad to see a dead body, you never knew what the fuss was about. You've watched plenty of horror movies, binged many crime documentaries. Surely they just look like they're sleeping? That's what it seemed on the TV anyway.

But standing here now, looking down at the dead body on your bedroom floor, you were starting to realise the overreactions.

There was blood everywhere. Pooling on your carpet, trailing down the bedpost, staining your new beige sheets. All over your fucking shirt. 

The boy was laying completely still on the floor, and you didn't need to check his pulse to know he was dead. You'd heard the crack when he went head first into the bedpost. Fuck, the whole street could've heard it for all you knew. 

Your heart was beating in your ears, breath completely sucked out of your body and all you could do was stare as blood slowly expanded around his head, painting his blonde hair red. If anyone were to walk in now, they probably would've thought you'd had a heart attack standing up. You couldn't move, even when blood dripped from your forehead to your cheek. 

There was a dead body in your room.

You had to get out. You had to hide, run, fuck maybe you should just confess. People who plead guilty get lower sentences don't they? Your head hurt, you felt sick. But you turned to the boy standing next to you with a calm face. "What the fuck do we do?"

Wide eyed, the boy looked back at you with the most fear you'd ever seen be portrayed in a person. He was speechless, trying to get some sorts of words out however nothing but a stuttering load of bullshit came out and you realised just how fucked you actually were. 

You'd known Riki for a week at most and you'd just committed murder in your bedroom with him for the first time. No. He had committed murder. You were a witness. That did nothing to stop said murder from happening.

Riki was good at a lot of things. He could play guitar, he could hotwire a car, and he could dance. What he couldn't do was make rational decisions when it was much needed. He never thought his inability to decide would lead to him standing over a bleeding out body with the bloody murder weapon in his right hand. He hadn't exactly made a sound when he'd gone out cold in the middle of the room, but the fact that he had yet to open his eyes and get up made Riki think he was in fact, standing over a dead body. That he'd just killed. With his own hands.

You were both frozen still. The record player looping The Ronettes' 'Be My Baby' seemed a lot more sinister the more you came to your senses and you rushed over to turn it off before you fell into a loop of madness yourself. Breathing out heavily, you made your way back over to Riki, glancing down at your blood soaked shirt and then at Riki. You frowned. There wasn't any blood on him at all, despite on his hands and partly on his face. He felt your stare and turned to you, the same scared expression on his face that he'd been pulling for the last five minutes.

He did, finally open his mouth to speak though, "Have you ever killed–"

"No."

"Okay." 

You were so fucked.

"They're gonna know it was me." You said, chewing on your bottom lip. Riki looked at you full of confusion, bloody lamp still in his right hand, "It literally wasn't you-"

"It's in my house. In my bedroom. My ex boyfriend!" You were panicking, clearly, so Riki kept any snarky remarks to himself. You didn't know each other all that well, but you understood each other more than you would think. So Riki put the lamp down on the desk he'd taken it from and turned to you, "We need to get out of here."

🩸

Four days ago.

⠀

You're a very hateful person. 

The world is a horrible place and you have horrible people in your life, what can you say? 

Thinking about it, you can't remember the last time you actually felt anything but numb. Maybe when you got your first dog. That was nice. But you were nine at the time. You're seventeen now. Shit. Maybe it was your irrational thinking that made you so angry and hateful. Or maybe it was just the fact you've had a very shitty life so far.

Your friends were only one part of your very shitty life. Staring at the girl across the cafeteria table, you watched as she giggled at the messages rolling through her notifications. She seemed to read one that caught her eye as she switched her phone off and turned to the other girls sitting around the table, "What are you guys wearing tonight?" 

You frowned, "Tonight? What's happening tonight?"

The question seemed to bring everyone to a halt, four pairs of eyes glancing everywhere but you. Eyebrows furrowing, you blinked at Chaein from across the table.

"Um…" She bit her lip gently, eyes scanning over the other girls in some sort of plea. When nobody dared to look at her, she sighed, "Um well. We're having a party. It was just the five of us but I guess-"

"What the fuck?" You loudly announced, shutting Chaein up instantly. She pursed her lips, head bowing and you sighed. Grabbing your backpack from in between your legs, you stood up and swung it over your shoulder before grabbing your lunch tray and sliding it hard across the table. It hit Chaein's tray hard, her food going all over her lap and her scream caught the attention of pretty much everyone. "Fuck you." You flipped the table off before turning on your heel and walking.

Maybe that was a bit of an overreaction. But those girls were never your friends to begin with, so they kind of deserved it.

In reality, you had nowhere to go. You could've gone to the bathroom, or to class early, or you could've just left. But the boy staring at you as you walked towards him seemed like the most interesting way to spend the rest of your lunch. 

⠀

"Can I sit here?" 

The boy looked up as if he hadn't watched you literally walk all the way towards him. A flash of confusion brushed across the entirety of his face. "Um," he looked to his right where you had motioned to sit, "Okay."

You didn't wait for him to move his bag and food off of the wall before you sat down next to him, kicking your feet as you glared straight ahead at the table of girls you'd just dropped. What the fuck am I doing?

"What was all that about?" The boy asked, snapping you out of your heated glaring competition with the back of Chaein's head. You actually looked at the boy now. His hair was dark, it could've been black but it looked brown when the light hit it. It was parted down the middle, framing just around his eyes and it was on the longer side. It looked soft and bouncy and you'd never seen a boy with such nice hair in your school before (the place wasn't exactly heaven). He turned to you when you didn't answer him and you took note that his eyes looked softer close up. They were also brown. He was pretty, you decided. Very pretty. 

"It was nothing." You replied, and he pouted a little and you assumed it was his way of letting the conversation go, because he didn't push on the subject any further.

Silence cast over the both of you and you suddenly felt a wave crash over you. The thing about you was that you couldn't sit in silence. Silence made you think and you hated thinking. 

So you started talking.

"Are you going to eat that?"

Jesus Christ of course he's going to eat it, it's in his fucking lap.

The boy looked down at the half eaten sandwich and bag of crisps in his lap, and then looked at you. He then sighed, holding up the other half of his sandwich without saying a word.

You blinked at it, not actually expecting him to oblige in your offer, but nonetheless you took it out of his awaiting hands, "Thanks." 

He smiled a little, probably out of politeness, but it was nice of him either way.

"I'm Y/N, by the way." 

He knew that.

"Riki." 

You knew that, too.

Riki was new. You didn't know much about him other than that. He seemed quiet. And lonely. And he didn't speak like... at all. You didn't like quiet people, but for some reason you didn't mind talking to him. He was an interesting kind of quiet. Like the type of quiet that had a lot to hide. And you wanted to find out what it was.

You were practically the opposite of him. You were loud. You didn't stop talking. But you were kind of lonely, you'd cut him some slack with that one. It's not like you chose to have no close friends, you just hadn't found someone who could understand you. Plus you'd just walked out on your only friends not even ten minutes ago.

"Do you want to go out with me?" 

Riki knitted his brows at you, "What?" 

You shrugged, kicking your legs out in front of you and taking a bite of the sandwich in your hand, "I dunno. Like, do you wanna do something after school?" 

"Oh. Okay." 

A small smile tugged at your lips at how Riki seemed to go along so perfectly with your irrational decisions. Then again, he could just be being nice. "What do you like doing?" You asked.

"Um. I can play the guitar, I guess."

"No way!" You turned shiny eyed to him, "Show me."

The boy looked equally as bright eyed at your enthusiasm when he faced you but he quickly looked down, "I mean, uh. It's at my house."

"Let's go to your house then. After school." 

Riki seemed to think for a second, slightly hesitant and you thought you'd already crossed a million of his boundaries. But he replied with, "Okay." and you let out a small sigh of relief.

Sitting on the school cafeteria wall with the boy you'd had one conversation with, you decided at that moment that you weren't going to let him go. No matter what may happen.

And oh, did a lot happen.

🩸

Riki didn't have a very eventful life. It had been a month or so since he'd moved from Japan and settling in hadn't taken much time. Mainly because he kept his head down and didn't talk to anyone. He wasn't much of a talker, he didn't have much to say. The most interesting thing about him was probably that he lived with his grandma because he was abandoned at a young age. But that's not a very good starting topic of conversation. So Riki just doesn't talk.

It's not that Riki hated his life or anything. Yeah, he'd rather his parents have not up and left him but there's nothing he can do about it now. That was twelve years ago anyway, he's not the type to hold grudges for that long. He was more upset that he had to spend almost seventeen years of his life with the bitch that calls herself his grandmother.

He wasn't going to get into it though, he was just going to hope she wasn't there when you got to his house. 

"Why does your house have no fucking windows?" You stared at the house in front of you, the bottom windows basically all bordered up, and the top left's curtains tightly closed. 

"My grandma is an anxious person." Riki muttered, fiddling around with his keys to find the right one for the front door. You looked back up at the top floor windows and assumed the room to the right was Riki's because the curtains and windows were wide open. 

You wandered into Riki's house as soon as he opened the door, not taking your shoes off because you figured Riki would've told you if it was a problem. His house was cute (if that's even a word you can use to describe a home), a bit outdated and old, but cute nonetheless. It wasn't too big inside so it was warm and cosy which felt weird considering your house was nothing like that. You tilted your head at the vanity desk by the door, picking up one of the framed photos. You assumed it was Riki and his grandma in the photo and you found yourself giggling at it, "You look funny in this-"

"Do you not take your shoes off when you visit people's houses?" Quickly, you put the photo back on the desk like you'd just been caught stealing it. The old woman that had appeared in the doorway to the kitchen showed no emotion on her face when she glowered at you. 

Riki sighed. Fuck.

"Sorry." You mumbled, slightly rolling your eyes and glancing at Riki who looked kind of angry for someone who hadn't been anything but calm since you met him. 

"I forgot to tell her. It's my fault." Creasing your brow, you looked up at the boy from where you were unfastening your boots, wondering why he was sticking up for you for something so.. unnecessary. The woman did seem kind of intimidating though, so you were grateful.

Once you'd taken your boots off, placing them next to Riki's shoes on the mat, you stood up next to him so you were both facing the woman still taking up the space between the hallway and kitchen. She still had the same stoic expression on her face and she didn't seem to take her eyes off of you. It was almost like she was scanning you to see if you were fit to be here. It was weird.

"Uh, well. I'm Y/N!" Breaking the silence, you smiled (for politeness, of course. If you could smile genuinely at anyone less, it would be this woman), hooking your arm around Riki's and nudging him as a silent plea to get you away from his grandmother's evil stare. 

"Yeah," Riki seemed to get the hint, "We're going to my room." 

And without waiting for a response, Riki pulled you up the stairs. 

⠀

"Do you have, like, beef with your grandma or something?" You asked as soon as the door closed behind you, not looking at Riki when you spoke, eyeing up his room.

The boy wasn't paying much attention, trying to find somewhere to throw his backpack, "Huh? No, why?"

You threw him a look that was supposed to say 'I just watched you have a glaring contest with her from across the room' but you guess he didn't notice. "Doesn't matter." 

You took your time looking around his room. It wasn't small or big, it was just kind of a normal size. His bed was right next to the window (probably because his grandma was a fucking weirdo and made him hibernate whenever he wanted to eat lunch downstairs) and he had a cabinet next to it with a desk opposite which was scattered with all sorts of things that you didn't really give a shit about. It was a bit messy but he wasn't expecting guests so you didn't comment on it. You also noted that his carpet was blue, as well as his curtains and bedsheets. "Is your favourite colour blue?"  

Riki took one look around the room and let out an embarrassed laugh, "I think so." He leant against his desk as you continued to inspect his room like some house estate agent. It was the first time in hours that you weren't filling in the silence for the both of you. He didn't mind that you liked to keep the conversation going; he appreciated it actually, because he was better at listening than talking. You were a fiery person, Riki noticed, not that it was necessarily a bad thing but it was definitely new to him. You were confident, and he liked that because it meant at least one of you were. Because you weren't glaring like you had been most of the day, Riki noted your eyes almost the exact same colour as his. You'd had your hair tied up at school but as soon as you'd both left the gates, you'd pulled it down and Riki was now just noticing it fell just below your shoulders, and there were slight streaks of blonde blended into the brown that he hadn't seen before. It suited you, it suited your vibe. It was pretty. What the fuck was he talking about?

"You can take your bag off, by the way." Riki said, trying to distract himself and grabbing your attention. You looked at him slightly startled, but obliged anyway, letting your backpack fall off your shoulders and you put it by the side of his cabinets.

"Where's your guitar?" You wondered, peering around the room to see if you could find it amongst the rest of Riki's shit.

The boy perked up at the mention of his guitar, instantly pushing himself off his desk and rushing to his wardrobe. You sat down on his bed as he scrambled through his closet before pulling out a dark brown guitar that he seemed to light up at once he pulled it to his chest. Cute.

"Do you take requests or..?" You leaned back and moved up to make space for Riki to sit down next to you. 

"I don't know a lot," He looked sheepish, looking down as he tuned his guitar, "But you might know this one!" 

⠀

You did know it. 

It was one of your favourite songs, actually, and from the first note he played, you were entranced. You could almost hear the lyrics through the strings he was playing. He didn't seem nervous, however he was a bit unsure of what notes to play, but it was still beautiful. 

Riki was beautiful. And extremely talented. It's been a day Y/N, get over yourself. So maybe your irrational decision to sit with him was one of the best ones you'd ever made.

You couldn't help but focus on his face as he concentrated. He was looking down at the guitar as he played and his lips pouted a little when he messed up. They were… pretty. He puffed them out when he focused on the strings of the guitar and they looked so full and soft and cute when he pouted. Fuck. You felt your heart jump when he smiled down at the guitar a little when he got into the rhythm and suddenly you were back in your own body again. You looked away wide eyed when you realised where you were and what you were doing, the sound of Riki's guitar suddenly sounding haunting. He continued to play 'Where is my Mind?', lost in his own little world and you sat next to him in thought.

Because maybe Riki was the escape you needed out of your very shitty life.

SYNOPSIS! trying to find a way to escape your shitty life, you decide to indulge in the new boy at school. what you didn't realise, is that you'd be on the run from murder with him a week later.

freya's notes omgg HELLO!! first update wowow this is exciting. i don't rlly know what to say, i just hope you all enjoy this as much as i like writing it!!! <333

© dollriki 2022

[muertawrites]

Given that 1) that list from Jason of places Eddie frequents is Thatcher Tires 2) he had a book about car parts in his room and 3) there’s apparently coveralls in his closet but I didn’t see them, the mechanic!eddie is canon to me Idc

That being said, I feel like Eddie would remind you of those things but would also just do and check it for you because he wants your car to work well and for you to be safe. He wouldn’t ask for anything in return because it makes him happy. But I would be more than happy to give him a tip and service him, wink wink

yeah mechanic!eddie is canon. he can hotwire a car man are you kidding? das my baby. he's so talented and smart <3

i just cannot shake the image of him with a messy low bun in his coveralls. covered in grease and sweat. leaned over the hood with his hands deep in car guts (and then later in my guts). the thought makes me WEAK

plus i feel like he's the kind of guy that just... knows? like you bring him out to your car and are like "babe listen to this weird noise" and he'll sit there and turn the key a few times, listen to the metal grinding, brow all furrowed with concentration, then spring into action like "it's the carburetor" (i literally know nothing about cars)

plus like he'd totally flirt with you if you met at his job? like personally i would go to a mechanic in total distress like "i cannot afford a new car please help me i am but a woman" and i can totally see Mr. Chivalrous Manly Man Eddie Munson coming to the rescue. and he wouldn't flirt in a super aggressive way either, it would be shit like giving you a steep discount or throwing in a free cleaning or smth. he genuinely would work on your car just to talk to you again. maybe he does half-assed jobs or gives you some bullshit excuse so you have to come back and see him. it's fine tho, he never charges you full price, and he's cute so like. who cares.

loves watching top gear. would kill to be given that kind of budget and access to machines to fuel his chaotic tendencies.

[barry-j-blupjeans]

(for the "ways to say i love you" prompt) 44 w/ taakitz? :o

44. “You don’t have to pretend with me”

((prompts here - send some in!!))

also this is based off this other prompt fill i did. doing fic of my own fic. vv cool and awesome of me.

--

Kravitz half-wished that he had had enough common sense to take his own car when fleeing from the mafia with Taako because Taako's car had two tires in the grave. It was a gray 2005 honda civic and the breaks made a screeching sound with the slightest touch. He also kind of wished that he had taken Taako up on his idea of hotwiring another car so they couldn't be tracked, but he had to put his foot down on that one. If they weren't throwing their phones away (Kravitz definitely wasn't) then there was no point, because they could probably be tracked either way.

Another wish- and Kravitz knows he's asking a lot with this one- was that someone would tell him what the fresh hell was going on. Taako's a werewolf, the mafia's after him. Great, yeah, understandable. Who was Lup? Why were they going to her house? Why did Lup live so far away? Again, who was Lup???

She had given them an address last after Taako refused to talk about anything on the phone and they were nearly there, which was the good part. The bad part was that Kravitz was incredibly exhausted. Going from Goldcliff, Arizona to Rockport, West Virginia was a proper road trip and Taako was insistent on getting there as soon as possible. It had taken two days of persistent switching for Kravitz to convince Taako they needed to stop somewhere.

Sleeping in this shitty motel was better than sleeping in the car. It still wasn't great, but it was better.

Now if only Kravitz could sleep.

"Kravitz," Taako whispered into the dark of the room. Well, the almost dark. There was a too-bright sign outside that wasn't going to be turned off anytime soon. "Are you still awake?"

"Yeah," Kravitz said. He rolled over, coming face to face with Taako. "Need something?"

In the light of the outside sign, Taako's face scrunched up and Kravitz was almost afraid he was going to start crying again. Instead, he blinked away tears, and said,

"I didn't wanna drag you into this."

Which was as good as an apology he was going to ever get from Taako. Kravtiz sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. When he looked back towards Taako, he said,

"It's fine-"

"It's not," Taako interrupted. "It's really not. You don't deserve this."

"No one deserves this," Kravitz said. "But Taako you don't- you don't have to pretend with me, okay? We've known each other for like, a year at this point, right? And I can pretty confidently say that you're one of the funniest, kindest people I have ever met. Okay? You don't have to pretend to be okay with all of this. Gonna be honest, I'm scared and they're not even coming after me."

"You don't deserve this," Taako repeated miserably, hiding his face in one of the stoney pillows.

"Taako," Kravitz said. He tucked a strand of hair behind Taako's ear and rested the hand on his cheek afterward. "Look at me, please?"

Taako peaked up from the pillow, blinking away more tears. Kravitz wiped a stray one away with his thumb.

"I love you," Kravitz said gently. "I think you deserve to have the whole world love you, werewolf or not. I don't care about whatever bullshit mafia is chasing you or about the sudden move or- or you're horrible fashion choices-"

"Low blow," Taako said, but he was smiling slightly now.

"I love you," Kravitz repeated, squishing his cheek together. "I love Taako. I can shout it from the top of this motel if you want me to. This isn't- you might find this hard to believe, but this isn't a deal-breaker for me. I have been in much worse relationships."

"I'm at least a bar above the tapioca guy, right?" Taako asked, wiping his eyes. Kravitz grinned and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"At least two bars, babe. Can we please try to sleep again?"

"Yeah," Taako said. "Can I hold you?"

"Please," Kravitz said, scooting forward. Taako wrapped an arm around him, pulling the blankets up further. Kravitz shut his eyes.

He could still see the light from the sign outside through his eyelids.

[cambria-writes]

honestly to god the amount of shame and embarrassment i am feeling right now is unparalleled. i’m raging. i want the ground to split open and swallow me up. i’m a god damn mess lmao.

anyways here’s the actual chapter twelve!! I’m having to edit a bunch of shit because of my fuck up so I’ll probably post chapter fourteen tomorrow.

aaaaa fuck me

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader rating: M, each chapter rated invidually warings: criminal activity, swearing, reader’s probably becoming a mary-sue but who cares, reader is afab but no descriptors used, the calm before the storm, mention of suicide attempt, reader’s kind of manic actually word count: 4,458

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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕿𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖛𝖊: ℜ𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔳𝔢 ℭ𝔲𝔯𝔰𝔢

“Y’know that’s actually kinda hot,” you cough, parroting what you’d been told when you had pulled out your set of lock picks.

Robin steps in before Eddie can say anything, and there’s a quick back and forth before Steve eventually replaces him in the driver’s seat, once the thing has been successfully hotwired. You let them figure out the rest on their own while you make your way to the back of the RV to sit on the bed.

‘Stuck in the back of a speeding trailer with the awning still attached after your childhood best friend hotwired it just like his male genetic donor used to’ wasn’t exactly how you would’ve imagined the latter half of your spring break to go. Then again, you hadn’t entirely anticipated dimension hopping, either, or having to deal with what might potentially be the end of the world. 

Nancy had briefly caught you up to speed before the lot of you left to hijack someone’s home—and you’re desperately trying not to think about that for too long—and the entire thing left a sour taste in the back of your throat. Not just the world-endy bullshit, but the fact that Vecna slash Henry slash One had access to something you weren’t sure you could do.

Fucking divination. 

You’re digging your nails into the palms of your hands when Steve peels out of Forest Hills at a speed the RV you’re all crammed in would consider breakneck. There’s so much you haven’t tried, actually. And the more you think about it, the more you think that maybe you should’ve taken the asshol up on his offer. Maybe you should’ve let the stupid lich king teach you. 

Beyond the regret, though, as little as it may be, there’s a lot of contemplation. Dustin, Lucas and Eddie are chatting away, concocting some harebrained scheme probably, and with Robin and Nancy up front with Steve, you’ve got some peace of mind to think. Because thankfully, unlike her brother, apparently, Erica Sinclair is capable of recognizing when someone shouldn’t be bothered.

The idea of a phylactery had occurred to you, originally, when Eddie first brought up the concept of a lich. That even if you tried to kill him, it would just be a matter of time before he came back. What would the phylactery be, though? What could he have attached himself to so wholly and completely that he’d be willing to risk using it as a respawn point? 

When you look up from where you’re sat cross-legged on the bed in the back, you open your mouth to call for Nancy. You barely mutter the first consonant of her name when you notice that she and Steve seem to be… discussing, pretty intently. 

“H-hey, Robin?” 

“Huh? Yeah?” Robin answers quickly, turning around and shuffling her way to you, quickly whispering apologies to the kids for getting between them. “What’s up?” She asks, letting herself fall heavily next to you. 

“You went to Victor Creel’s house with the others, yeah?” 

“Creepy abandoned mansion, yeah,” she confirms, nervously drumming her fingers against her thighs. “What about it?” 

“Was there anything like…weird about that place? Anything that stood out?”

Robin frowns and hums for a second, turning to look down at her feet. “Something that stood out, huh…” There’s another moment of pause before she slaps her thigh and points at you. “We found the clock! The one you keep hearing, it was right there in the main hallway.” 

“Okay yeah, that does stand out.” But not exactly the kind of thing someone would bind their soul to, you figure. Way too obvious and easily spotted. “Anything else? Something maybe hidden? Like, a lot better?” 

Robin chuckles but nods, letting her head fall back and crossing her arms as she thinks. 

“We kind of split up, so it’s hard to tell but I heard Steve screaming like a girl. Something about spiders?” 

“It was a god damn black widow!” Steve shouts from the front seat, and you can’t help but stifle your laughter. 

“A black widow, alright. Where was it, do you know?” 

“Yeah, it was on the second floor. In the bathroom, I think? It was like, hidden under a vent in the floor ro something.” You frown and open your mouth to ask another question, but Robin excitedly flaps her hands. “Oh, oh! And there was this freaky shrine in the attic with a bunch of jars with spiders in them too!” 

“Oh wooow,” you say, putting as much nasally sarcasm into it as you can. “Love that. Spiders. Awesome. Anything else?”

“I don’t think so, place was pretty run down. I mean no one’s lived there since the Creels were murdered and I don’t think ‘home to a demonic serial killer who pops your eyes from the inside out’ sells too well.”

“Yeah, probably not,” you mutter, bringing your thumb up to chew at the nail. 

Something related to spiders would be way too obvious as a phylactery, right? Anyone with any kind of knowledge about Henry would be able to guess something like that. And though the grandfather clock does feel like a decently significant item, too, that’s beyond obvious. No way that someone like Vecna would use that as a phylactery, either. It’s too flammable, anyways. 

You squeak in surprise when Eddy drops himself on the bed on your other side. Robin quickly excuses herself to move back up front with Steve. You’re about to pull her back and tell her to give him room, but when you glance ahead it seems like whatever discussion he was having with Nancy is over. 

“What was all that about spiders?” Eddie asks, letting himself fall back on the bed with his hands behind his head. “I thought you hated spiders.”

“Ugh, god do I ever,” you groan, letting yourself fall back onto the mattress as well. “I’m just trying to figure out like. If I was a lich that ended up in a parallel dimension, right? What would I choose as the one thing to bind my soul to and make sure I can respawn?”

“You’d probably have better luck asking Wheeler,” he replies, end of his sentence fading into a yawn. “She’s the one he gave his weird psychic visions to.” 

“And you’re assuming he has a phylactery to begin with.” Dustin has his has steepled in front of him on the small table, leaning out just a bit to be able to look at you. You left yourself up on your elbows to look back at him and frown. 

“There’s no way he’d be able to survive in that place for as many years as he has without dying,” you state, closing your eyes for a second to try and recall the small fragments of conversation you were able to catch when you were In Between with Eleven. “He took control of that thing, right? The thing you call the mind flayer? What if that’s what turned him into whatever the hell he is now?” 

“That doesn’t really matter,” Lucas pipes up, turning around in his seat and throwing his arm up against the back of the bench-like seat to look at you. “If we cut him off from the mind flayer, he won’t be able to do anything, right?”

“Yeah, and then all hell breaks loose, genius,” Erica scoffs, and you can tell without looking at her that her eyes are rolling. “If Vecna’s the only one keeping the monsters in check, we’re screwed if they all decide to do whatever they want.” 

You groan and let yourself fall back onto the bed Eddie pulls a hand from behind his heat to pat yours. 

“We’ll figure something out,” he says quietly, while the others continue discussing what to do about both Henry and the Mind Flayer. “You should probably take a nap while you can.” 

“I just got up from a nap like two hours ago!” you whine, kicking your feet. “I feel like all I’ve been doing is sleeping. I need to think while I’m awake. Shit gets weird when I’m asleep.”

There’s a beat of silence before Eddie turns his head to look at you with a brow raised.

“How weird are we talkin’ about?”

You groan again. “Being sucked into a weird not-dimension by someone else levels of weird.” When you turn your head to look at Eddie, you almost flinch at how close your faces are. You keep your eyes on his nose; nice, safe, doesn’t give any kind of weird impression. Right? Right. 

“That’s how you talked to their friend? Eleven?” he asks, quietly, and the breathiness of his voice makes you swallow thickly. You nod twice and clear your throat, turning your head back to look up at the ceiling of the RV.

“Y-yeah. Um, yeah she, uh, she said it was In Between. Whatever that means.” 

“Sounds more like dreamwalking to me.”

“You’re not wrong. Would be nice to know who was doing the walking though. Me or her?” 

Eddie shrugs, and somehow, without your realizing, he’s wormed an arm under your head and pulls you in. He’s extremely nonchalant about it, which you wish you could be. You try to lift yourself up on your elbows again, but he makes sure you can move, and in fact holds your head fast against his shoulder. 

“Sleep,” he said, an edge in his voice even though it’s nearly a whisper. “We’re going out of down to buy guns and traps. You need your rest.” 

With the rumbling of the RV, the constant bump and jostle of it, and the presence of someone warm next to you, you find that your eyes are starting to feel a bit dry and heavy. 

“Fuck you,” you grumble, but close your eyes and clasp your hands over your stomach anyways. 

“Sucks to sucks,” Eddie chuckles, and the last thing you register before falling into a light slumber is the feeling of fingers raking through your hair. 

You wake up to the sound of the RV door slamming open and Eddie jumping out of his skin next to you. Nothing much happened—Erica making a quip to her brother, Steve shouting, everyone on edge and holding on to the nearest stationary object while Steve puts the RV in drive and bolts out of… 

“Wha—where are we? What hap-happened?” you mutter, sitting up on the bed, noticing that you’d been scooted up to lie down on it proper rather than just half-laid at the foot of it. “Did you move me while I was asleep?”

“We saw Hawkins’ star basketball team,” Robin says quickly, moving past you on the bed and kneeling by the window to peek out. “They didn’t seem super stoked to see us and honestly seeing a bunch of white boy jocks out for blood in a military surplus store doesn’t give me good vibes.” 

“Military surplus?” You ask, sleep still fogging your brain as you rub at your eyes. “That’s where we are—were?” 

“Yeah, Dustin and I stayed in here while they shopped around,” Eddie explains shortly, and there’s a tightness in his voice you don’t like. He’s sat with his back against the wall, Robin fit snugly between the two of you before she climbs back off the bed. “Did you grab anything good?”

“Oh,” Robin starts, turning around to face you two with a grin that feels just a little bit unhinged. “We grabbed something good. Nancy found a shotgun and, get this.” She leans in, and if you weren’t in a literal ride-or-die situation with this girl, you’d be a little worried about the teeth showing in her grin. “She’s gonna saw the thing off herself. Nancy Wheeler, illegally modifying a firearm. Amazing.”

“Amazing,” you mutter back, scooting yourself up on the bed to put your back against the wall, and leaning over to let your head fall on Eddie’s shoulder. “You were right. I needed a nap. I think I need a few more naps, actually.” 

“You can probably keep napping until we get there,” he says quietly. And again, there’s a warm arm around your shoulders that keeps you fixed to his side. You don’t even notice when your eyes drift shut again. 

“Where… when we get where?” 

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. Just sleep.” 

Sweetheart? That’s a new one. You wish you could analyze the speed of your thrumming heart and the wings of the butterflies in your stomach, but again, you’re unconscious before you can make too much of it.

You’re sitting on the steps to the RV while Robin and Steve prepare, of all things, molotov cocktails. Dustin and Eddie are off in the field to your left hammering nails into trashcan lids, and though you’re exceptionally doubtful of their efficiency—”Aren’t the nails just gonna pop right out the second something hits them? What’s gonna keep them from just popping out?”—they seem pretty content doing that. Max is holding onto the previously mentioned shotgun while Nancy is, indeed, sawing off the barrel as short as is probably safe to do.

You’re not doing anything at all. Rest, they said, you burnt yourself out for hours teleporting both yourself and Nancy out of the Upside Down, they insisted. Not that there’s much for you to do. Even looking off to your right at the Sinclairs, and to what even you can tell is a shit wrapping job from Lucas, you wonder what you place is here, right now. 

You take a particularly long drag from the one cigarette you were able to convince Robin to let you have. You’d agreed, if only verbally, not to get involved with any of the fighting. And that had been after you’d tried to argue with both Eddie and Dustin that acting as a decoy was a stupid idea. Stupid, dangerous, reckless, pick a descriptor. 

Roughhousing catches your eye, and you hear Dustin shriek about wedgies. You take another drag and hop off the steps. 

“Where’re you going?” Steve pipes up, making Robin turn around almost owlishly to be able to see you. 

“Something on my mind,” you say vaguely, waving Eddie down when he eventually looks at you. “DnD nerd shit I gotta run by him.”

“Ugh, have fun,” Steve says with a shudder, turning his focus back on the bottles in front of him and waving at Robin to pay attention. 

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this, Ed,” you say, once you’ve got him to follow you to the other side of the trailer. You keep walking a bit, though it’s more of a nervous pacing. “There’s no way this is going to be an ambush.” 

“You’re thinking about it too much man,” Eddie replies easily, hands in his pockets and slightly out of breath. “It’ll be fine.There’s no way he’ll see us coming.” 

“That’s the thing,” you say, a bit too loudly, rounding on him. You look around quickly before walking up to him and leaning over, clearing your throat and quieting your voice. “Did they tell you what happened with the mind flayer before? Two year ago?” 

Eddie frowns and shakes his head. “They mentioned something about one of their friends being like, possessed or something, but they didn’t really… explain anything.”

“Right, Will was possessed,” you reiterate, grabbing at Eddie’s upper arm. “By the mind flayer. Whatever Will could see and whatever Will knew, the mind flayer knew, too. That’s how—” You cut yourself off before you can mention Billy. Not my story to tell, you think bitterly. “That’s how all of them almost got caught. Will was leading the demodogs right to them. If El hadn’t come back in time they would’ve been screwed.” 

Eddie doesn’t speak, looks off in the distance. Slowly, he reached up to grab the hand at his upper arm to pry it off, but doesn’t let it go. 

“What are you trying to say?” 

“Max is cursed, Ed,” you whisper, balling your hand into a fist in his. “She’s cursed, and just last night he took a joy ride in Nancy’s head. I’m pretty sure he’s well out of mine, but can we really be sure that there isn’t some kind of—a fragment of him, in either of them?” 

You can see Eddie twisting his tongue in his mouth, clenching his jaw. It’s a possibility that makes for a very grim reality; one where nothing you do matters because there isn’t a way for you to keep anything secret. There’s no way anyone is going to want to exclude Nancy from what’s going on. Nancy wouldn’t want to be excluded, if the ferocious expression she had earlier was anything to go by. 

And Max…

When Eddie turns back to look at you, there’s something a little wild in his eyes. Different from last time. He looks… not feral, like this, with his hair all out of sorts and his knuckles bloodied and bruised. No, he just looks dangerous. You bite the inside of your cheek when you realize that maybe this is what everyone in Hawkins was seeing all along. Ridiculous to be scared of this Eddie; everything about him right now is about protecting people. 

Not an ounce of malice. 

“You got a backup plan then?” 

You take a deep breath and shake your head. “I haven’t been able to come up with something that makes sense, yet, no.” 

Eddie lets out a breath that’s almost a sigh and finally lets go of your hand. He lets himself fall down onto the grass to sit, cross legged, and gestures at the ground next to him for you to follow. You sit directly in front of him, hands on your knees, drumming your fingers on them. 

“What do we have so far?” Eddie asks. 

“We’re working under the assumption that Henry’s a lich,” you start, looking down at your hands to count on your fingers. “We know he’s a psychic kid, like Eleven. Nancy mentioned that he said something about keeping everyone he kills up in his head. Is power absorption even a thing?” 

“In ADnD? Sure,” Eddie answers, leaning back on his hands and looking up at the clouds. “There’s ways to take someone else’s abilities, so I guess it’s not impossible for him to have yanked the other kids’ abilities from them.”

You stay quiet for a moment. Max had also mentioned that Henry’s, his… whatever weird mind palace he has going on had the bodies of the three teens he’d killed all strung up. You can’t help but wonder if maybe the other people he’s killed are somewhere in that psychic sanctuary, too. You shake the thought out of your head and continue. 

“Right, okay. So he’s yanked abilities from kids before. He’s psychic, and somehow being shoved into the Upside Down turned him into a lich.”

“Or being in there long enough turned him into one.”

“Shit,” you mutter, bringing a hand to your mouth and frowning. “No, you’re right. Steve was choking on something when we got to your trailer in the Upside Down and I remember dreaming about them being in the tunnels. And Will…” You growl and wave your hand in front of you. “Doesn’t matter, point is that he’s acting like a lich so we should probably treat him like one. I’m still worried about the phylactery.” 

“When you were with Nancy, in there,” Eddie starts slowly, and he has the impression of someone who’s trying to describe a picture while he’s still putting the puzzle together. “When Vecna got in her head, you like, froze when you touched her. Did you, y’know?” He motions vaguely at his eyes and you snap your fingers at him. 

“Yeah, yeah! I did! I saw some of that!” you exclaim, slapping your knee excitedly. “Okay, okay wait. So I saw the house, and saw the spiders. Fucking hate the spiders,” you mutter under your breath, screwing your eyes shut and trying to recall more. “There’s… this weird shrine in the attic, for the spiders. There’s something—I know there’s something else there besides the jars but I can’t—it’s too, I don’t know. It was too out of focus, I can’t remember what it was.” 

You let the end of your sentence trail off and start tracing patterns in the grass. “If he has a phylactery, and I’m pretty sure he does because everything else is Dungeons and Dragons related, I’m pretty sure it’s got something to do with that shrine.” 

Eddie nods and frowns. “He goes up there when he hunts people, right? It would make sense if he kept it close to him there.”

“But here,” you say, putting your hand out in front of you and pointing at the back of your hand. “Or there?” You flip your hand over and point at the palm. 

Eddie looks enthralled until something seems to click in his brain. He leans back from where he had, at some point, gotten very invested in the conversation and leaned into you. You lean back, in turn, frowning at him. He shakes a pointed finger at you at squints. 

“You’re going somewhere with this and I don’t like it.”

“Yeah well I don’t like the idea of you attracting a swarm of bats with fucking Metallica but here we are, aren’t we.” You slap his hand away and lean back in. “Look, if you can find a way to get me that disgusting ‘double the caffeine’ soda, like as many as you can.” 

“I’m pretty sure dying of a caffeine-induced heart attack is the opposite of helpful, y’know.” 

You can’t help the bark of laughter that escapes you. “No! God, no, look. Doing the plane shifting shit is draining, right?” He nods. “Right. So I just figure—”

“No, nuh uh, that’s a shit idea,” Eddie cuts you off, crossing his arms. “There’s a reason you pass out when you do it too much. Your body can’t handle it.” 

“When I’m starved, sleep deprived and freaked out of my mind, sure!” You exclaim, throwing your hands up. You clear your throat before lowering your voice again. “Look, it’s a—not a theory, fuck, uh. It’s a hypothesis, okay? We don’t have time to test it, I just have to trust that it’s gonna work.” 

“And what exactly is your backup plan?” 

“While you’re distracting the bats with Dustin and not getting yourselves killed,” you start, placing your hands back on your knees. “And while the other bozos are busy trying to blast Vecna back to whatever hellscape he crawled out of, I go looking for the spider shrine here and torch it.” You pause, and hold your hand up when Eddie opens his mouth to speak. “And if it’s not here, I’ll just plane shift and get it in the Upside Down.” 

“M’hm, cool, there’s a problem with that though,” Eddie says, and flaps his hands at you to quiet down before he continues. “No, shush. Vecna’s gonna be in that attic when you go there. And then there’s Max.”

‘Let’s use me as bait’ Max. ‘It won’t matter if it goes wrong if it’s me’ Max. You swear under your breath and bite down on your lip. Vecna being in the same room you don’t really care about; provided that Sanctuary actually worked, there’s not much he can do to you. 

Once he’s in Max’s head though, you can’t control that.

“Not on my own,” you whisper, and when Eddie asks you to repeat yourself, you feel your face splitting with a grin. “I can’t do it on my own, I mean—look, no one’s gonna be able to convince Max not to be the bait. She’s cursed, that’s how it is, and we don’t know whether or not Vecna’s looking through her head. But once he’s in there,” you pause, standing up and starting to pace. “Once he’s hunting her, she said something about hiding in her own head, right? Like, in a happy memory or something. I’m gonna be honest with you, I don’t think that’s going to work.” 

“And you have the face of someone who somehow managed to come up with an even worse idea,” Eddie says, slowly pushing himself to stand up on his feet. 

“Right, okay, first of all, fuck you,” you spit, crossing your arms as you pace. “Okay, so scrap the idea of looking for the phylactery. For now. Eleven knows what’s going on, and I already ended up in that weird In Between place with her, right? So once Vecna starts hunting her I can just—”

Both you and your thoughts are interrupted when Eddie stalks over and grabs you by the shoulders. 

“Hey, stop for a second,” he says, quietly, to a point where it’s got you a bit concerned. “Look, I get—I don’t understand what it’s been like for you for the past three years, okay? But you have to stop for a second.” One hand goes to grab one of your wrists to pull your hand up into view. You frown at Eddie and look at your hand when he nods at it. 

You’re shaking like a leaf. 

“You’re trying to throw yourself at way too many problems.”

“I can’t do nothing—”

“And I’m not telling you to do nothing,” Eddie says, letting your hand fall in favour of cupping your jaw with both hands. “I’m telling you to use that giant brain of yours wisely. You don’t need to go looking for soulbound artifacts or fighting psychic wars,” he continues, a thumb coming up to rub at your cheek.

“What else am I supposed to do, Ed?” You whisper, bringing your hands up to grab at his forearms. His hands don’t move. “I-I’ve been having these nightmares for years, and all of a sudden I can—I can do all these things, and I just, I have to do something.” 

“And you can,” Eddie reassures you, and when he rests his forehead against yours, you can just barely feel his breath fanning over your cheeks. “Just, just stick with m—us, just stick with us.”

“And what, bail you out?” you huff, and Eddie snorts. 

“Yeah, yeah just be our getaway driver. Best one out there. You ever heard of a getaway driver that can dimension hop?”

You laugh quietly and shake your head. You don’t risk opening your eyes yet. 

“Yeah, no, not so much.” You breathe, clear your throat and lean your head back away from Eddie, “Okay. Yeah, I’ll stay with you and Dustin. Second anything goes south I’m getting us all out of there.” 

“Sounds good to me.” You get a finger pat on the cheek before you put a finger up. 

“I’m still gonna need that gross soda if I’m gonna survive shifting like, three people though.”

@storiesbyrhi @anothermunsonsimp @doratheignora @alovesongshewrote @averagestudent03

[charsawdeath]

Watch "Robo Fizz VS Blitzo (Helluva Boss)" on YouTube

Yo wait wait WAIT

What if Blitzo had a ROBOFIZZ? I mean cause he says 'slutty toy clown had it coming' 'what a mouth' (They worked together yes, but) The back and forth seem.. REAL and if that damn thing is just a ROBOTIC FIZZAROLLI, wtf would it 'remember' about someone simple who left the circus, wasn't funny, that part of 'anybody LOVE YOU?' When he says flat out, 'people LOOOVE ME!'

WHY is the RoboFizz talking to him like someone REAL!? How 'life like' are these things and if they are an extension of the one and only Fizzarolli..

Each and everyone must HAAAATE Blitzo's guts, know ABOUT Blitzo, are hotwired to remember anything Fizzy-Pop HAD with Blitzo

-

I'm going off two cans of G-fuel and a long ass week of work this is ganna go EVERYWHERE- Please read my words like a psyched out hamster!

-

Okay..

If RoboFizz's are based off Fizzarolli-

Like BASSSSED!!!

And this one talks to Blitzo like it has 'memories' "Everyone LOVES me, does anybody LOVE YOU?"

"Still keeping the kids running away from you after telling your lazy jokes here~"

"Is that Blitzo my SENSOR'S spot up there?"

Are these fuckers enGRAVED with Fizzy-Pop's memories of Blitzo?

Can they all maybe SEE him like a hivemind?

-

Where do these gremlins come from (aside Big Ozzie's Factory)

(Big Ozzie's Factory btw?)

WHY ARE THEY ALL FIZZAROLLI!?

There are Fizzarolli circus Imps, sex robots, merch-

How fucking MUCH was Fizzarolli at doing his job as a performer to warrant this all?

-

I'm so fucking sorry..

I feel drunk and high but sadly I'm neither...

I'm just getting all I have in my head out before it just oozes out of my brain

-

Why is he with Ozzie?

The REAL Fizzarolli?

And if these Robofizz's are replicating the real thing, he'd had to have been 'checked out'

-

Fuck this I'm out.. Y'all sorry for this rambled jumbled bullshit..

I wanted to make a post before it left me and.. DAMN is this a train wreck!

[bottombaron]

spoilers for what if...?

some quick thoughts on the first Marvel What If...? episode that are almost all Bucky related big surprise:

i froth at the mouth at any small moment of pre-ws!Bucky like a stranded survivor of a shipwreck. yes pls all of it, i need more. my desire to know who traumatized characters were pre-trauma is like an un-quenchable thirst.

that being said, i'm loving the idea the Bucky was just...a big fucking himbo. a nerdy silly himbo. there's nothing more satisfying than a super pretty competent person wowing you with some big time dork energy.

his lines were so groan worthy which is why i loved them. looking back it's a pretty obvious choice to make Bucky Barnes pre-Winter Soldier just Bucky Barnes from the comic books. he tells bad jokes, he's a damsel in distress, he's there for a reaction shot or two, and best of all he's got the worst one-liners.

my kingdom for Bucky of today going back to his bad one liners, honestly i would pay marvel to have Bucky throw a knife in someone's face, blood is everywhere, and he just goes, "knife to meet you." (Sam is floored. he goes through the 5 stages of grief in ten seconds and ends up laughing so hard his lungs hurt. redwing has it recorded and sam revisits it when he needs to)

the part where Steve gets back into the Hydra Smasher and falls on his face is peak stevebucky tho. Bucky is unconcerned, makes light of it, and there's even some light teasing. i have to highlight this for the purpose of Bucky's characterization in fanfic in terms of how he treats Steve, especially pre-serum Steve: he doesn't baby him. he doesn't mother-hen or overprotect Steve. he knows Steve is tough, he's spent years picking him up off of alleyway pavements, he's not going to act like a helicopter mom.

which i really appreciate because i'm tired of the treatment of Bucky as not also being a reckless kid in this war. Steve and Bucky don't have the dynamic of the Reasonable Adult and their Troublesome Kid i've seen sometimes in fic. they're both hooligans. Bucky comes off as the more cautious one sure, but it's just slightly. and that very slight difference gets overblown sometimes which feels disingenuous to a character that's in his 20s (like do you know bros in their 20s,,,do you?? they're still trying to run up walls and do backflips. they still think they're invincible. 20 year old men are the stupidest people on the planet. and i can say that as a man almost 30) and, by all accounts, ran mayhem in Brooklyn right next to his best friend.

just. don't forget Bucky Barnes is a young stupid pretty himbo okay?

speaking of disingenuous characterizations: what was that hetero bullshit with Peggy being more distraught over Steve's 'death' than Bucky????

are.you.kidding.me.

i feel this righteous anger burning over this, which i'm sure will come to a bigger rant at some point but really? fucking really?

this is it. this is what straight people do. this is the straight agenda.

this isn't even just about Steve and Bucky they do this kind of bullshit all the time in media: character 1 has a long-lasting deep friendship with character 2. character 1 has a romantic subplot with character 3. character 1 and 3 barely know each other. character 1 dies and character 3 is somehow more distraught about this than character 2.

i fully expected Bucky to start trying to climb down the mountain to find Steve but nope!

he's just 'oh nooo~ he ded. whelp lets go hoes'

while the woman who knew Steve for maybe a few months is doing the Darth Vader 'noooo' moment

this does not make any character, story, or emotional logical sense. there's no fucking reason for this bullshit than blatant homophobia.

like fucking fine, lets not see Steve and Bucky interact in any way because I WONDER WHY

but even better

lets have Bucky not really emote over Steve's death, because a. that's gay, we don't want people to think we write gay characters (don't worry marvel we don't) so two men can't care or mourn for each other onscreen. and b. we've got our hetero romance to sell

Peggy Carter is a professional military woman. with experience.

Bucky Barnes is some kid from Brooklyn whose been fighting in a war he's been drafted in for maybe some handful of months.

but sure. yeah. his childhood best friend dying. he's the one whose going to have the professional cool head in this moment.

and it's the PROFESSIONAL MILITARY WOMAN whose going to forget her job and training and need to be pulled from grieving BY THE MAN WHO'S BEST FRIEND JUST 'DIED'

SURE JAN SURE

it's the homophobia that betrays the logic of the characters that really fucks me up y'know?

if you're betraying the honest emotional reactions of story and character because you're afraid of those things being perceived as gay: you're homophobic.

it's really that simple.

'i'm in. for Steve' lol. like god. i'm as tired as seb sounds i swear

and i know Sebastian '~the truth of the character~' Stan probably felt like his teeth were being pulled out with hot pliers reading these. how many times did the voice director have to say, 'ok. can we try it like you're not slowly decaying from the inside, hunny?'

barely any howling commandos and none of them had any lines other than Dum Dum. ok. yeah. ok.

so some high notes:

return of my favorite Stark: 1940's Howard!

i would die twenty times just to be able to see more of Dominic Cooper's Howard Stark. he's just the fucking best. earnest and cute and a bit of a mad scientist and i fucking adore him

i need the Howard Stark + Bucky Barnes sitcom now. pls and thank you.

i'll even take 5 minute vinaigrettes of the antics they'd be up to. two playboy nerds together is just a magical event, don't waste it! i can't believe i've been sleeping on this dynamic it's too good.

"BARNES STOLE A CAR"

i will be replaying this single moment for years. the serotonin it gives me.

stark is just. the most excited man ever to have seen someone hotwire a car??? how did this scene go i need to knoooooowwww

all frustrations aside, it was really cool to see Peggy Carter as Captain Britain. she's a great character and i love her so much. every moment she was legit thrashing n*zis with her big butch arms was thrilling and satisfying.

that truck shield flip is still doing things to me...

honestly upset that the sword Peggy was wielding wasn't a Zemo easter egg like i was hoping it was 😩

[poprockpanda]

Tubbo and Techno for the Out of the Fire and Into My Hands au.

Ramble about them.

God damn it @bigshota. The two people who I don't really know what to do with. How could you do this to me?/s And my computer just had to turn off and delete the original version of this so that's fucking fun.

Let's get into this bullshit.

Tubbo was a junior mechanic on a small cargo ship before he was captured. When he escaped he snuck aboard a government ship for a much larger species. He set himself up in a nice and cozy area deep within the ship, taking supplies to survive and making repairs to the ship as payment. The ship lands at a trading post to refuel and Tubbo decides to gather some supplies while they are landed. As he tries to sneak back onto the ship one of the crew notices him and throws him off the ship.

So Tubbo, stuck in an unfamiliar place with only a few cans of food and the stuff in his backpack, is stressed the fuck out. He starts looking around the trading post for a place to stay before someone decides to take advantage of a lost child. He eventually comes across a shipyard and decides to approach some of the owners, hoping to get some cash from repairs. He gets a good bit of money, and most people taking pity on him and tipping more than he would usually get, one couple not paying at all.

He starts wandering again, one of the ship owners told him directions to a small inn. On his way there he stumbles across an injured Ranboo slumped over in an alleyway. Seeing someone with a massive cut across their face is very distressing and he rushes over to Ranboo. He makes sure that Ranboo is still alive, very glad he didn't just find a dead body of what appears to be a kid around Tubbo's age.

Tubbo is looking Ranboo over when he wakes up. Barley coherent Ranboo begs Tubbo to not take what little he has. Tubbo promises to not take anything and he tries to get Ranboo to stand up so he can get him to help. Try as he might Ranboo can't seem to stay standing and Tubbo has to carry him wedding style (his species is very strong).

He runs into the nearest clinic. Ranboo gets stitches but his eye is too far gone for him to ever be able to see out of it again. When the time for payment comes, Ranboo nervously tells Tubbo that he doesn't have any money. Tubbo forks over the rest of the cash he has, telling himself that he can make it back there will always be ships in need of repair. They stay there overnight while Ranboo is recovering.

In the morning Ranboo is good enough to walk and the owner is not very subtly signaling them to go. Ranboo tells Tubbo that he'll be fine and that he can just drop off wherever, but Tubbo isn't having it. He got attached and he isn't letting Ranboo off on his own. Ranboo takes Tubbo to his little hideout where he has been staying for the last couple of days.

They stay there, bonding happens, and now their friends! One night as they are stealing some food a large piglin, avian, and snake hybrid come barreling past. they look back the way they came from and see the police chasing them. Ranboo and Tubbo start booking it too, catching up with the group. As they are all running Tubbo tells them that they are running from the police too and that they have a place to hide out.

They reluctantly agree and make sure to lose their tail before Tubbo shows them to the hideout. Phil thanks them for their kindness and introduces everyone. He explains that they really need to get off of here quick. Tubbo tells them that he has an idea and to wait there for a minute. He rushes back to the shipyard to make sure. The asshole's ship is still there! He makes sure that the owners aren't there. He goes back to the hideout and tells them that he has the perfect out of here.

They all go to the shipyard and get aboard the ship. Tubbo hotwires it and they take off. They set a course for a route jungle planet.

Found family bullshit ensues.

I'll ramble about Techno when I figure out what I want to do with him a bit more, might make him a fugitive.

Thanks for the ask. Hope you have a good day/night!

(This was really fun. GIVE ME MORE./nf also if you want to send in any specific questions about anyone I would love that!)

[phoenixyfriend]

AU where Deidara becomes inexplicably fond of 'Tobi' to the point of just going 'fuck it' and following Obito into crazytown and, if Obito survives The Kaguya Nonsense, he now has a bitchy art school grad student following him around like "you fucked with my head for a year after making people pressgang me into a terrorist cell, now it's my turn to fuck with you." This is partly because this one post lives in my head rent-free.

(Brainstormed on discord with help from @britishassistant​. Please note that while I do usually headcanon Dei as nonbinary, this brainstorm kept to he/him pronouns and referring to him as a boy.)

Confession that this arose because I keep imagining 'person travels back to the Founders Era and wreaks havoc via Confusions, using different characters capable of 'why the FUCK' reactions every time, pinged on T7+Obito but Obito had to bring Deidara and everyone Regrets, because... boom.

Nobody wants Deidara involved, except Deidara. People especially do not want Deidara and Sai in the same room, because between Deidara's hands and Sai's 'commentary,' someone's going to get murdered. -- (Deidara is of the opinion that he should be involved in everything where there is the potential for blowing something or someone up. Deidara was sort of invited, in that Obito refuses to leave him unsupervised, but nobody really wants him, like, doing things.)

Team Seven is trying to help push a peace treaty through for the Senju and Uchiha. Keeping an eye out for Zetsu, Obito's talking Madara around as the person who actually knows him best, Naruto is Vibing with Hashirama on a level nobody hoped they'd reach, Sakura's smoothing ruffled feathers by healing the dying, Yamato is demonstrating Mokuton as evidence of something, and Kakashi has his hand over Sai's mouth so they don't cause an international incident. Sasuke isn't helping, just kind of in a stare-off with Izuna.

And then Obito says, "Wait, shit. We're missing a blonde." "Where's your idiot, Obito?" "He's not my idiot, Bakashi, he just--" BOOM "Ah, shit." [cue maniacal laughter in the middle distance]

"This is why I told you to keep an eye on him while I talked to Madara!" "I told Sasuke to do it!” "Why do you expect Sasuke to do anything you tell him to do?"

Part of what I was going for was: 1. Deidara and Obito have a preexisting relationship that angles heavily towards mutual antagonism due to the whole Tobi thing. 2. Deidara is both completely unhinged and capable of mass destruction, which means he's perfectly set to Cause Problems. And of course 3. This means a role reversal where Obito finds the shoe on the other foot because now he’s the one trying to rein in Deidara.

Obito is 100% done with Deidara, but this asshole is kind of his responsibility? Like? What's he gonna do, hand the kid over to Onoki? Nah, bruh, his douchebag teenage sidekick deserves better than Iwa. -- (Deidara does not, in fact, deserve better than Iwa.) -- It’s like Deidara is his kid or something, like he knows he’s hellspawn but he’s Obito’s hellspawn.

Madara: You came to convince us of peace, yet you bring-- Obito: No, shut up, it's better than leaving him to his own devices, at least this way I can stop him. Hashirama: How do we convince the Daimyou this is a good idea? Madara: We need to make him think there's a bigger threat, maybe? One that he can't fight without united shinobi clans to hire, rather than pitting us against one another to maintain his economic dominance. Hashirama: But there aren't any bi-- Deidara: I VOLUNTEER

Obito: So what are we going to do? Deidara: Blow up buildings belonging to the rich and powerful. Obito: And what are we not going to do? Deidara: ...blow up the innocent? Like kids? And poor people? Obito: Okay, yes. That's pretty much it. Deidara: Wait, can I blow up a monastery? Obito: Do you want the Shinigami to come after our heads?! No!!! Deidara: What if it's a Jashinist temple? Obito: We have seen evidence that one exists, do you really want to risk it?

Hashirama, full of 😀 : I brought dango! Deidara, to Obito: Are you going to eat it with your eye again. Madara, Izuna, all the Uchiha: [turn to stare] Obito: Literally why do I put up with you.

(Deidara is that one kid who Delights in telling everyone about the weird and dumb shit Obito pulled as Tobi.)

Deidara: Hey, dipshit, you wanna-- Obito:

Also, Kakashi has his four brats so Obito gets to keep Deidara. It’s only fair. -- Kakashi at least has Tenzo to coparent, and some of his kids are well-behaved... ish. They try, at least. Obito's just got a Hell Child who actively delights in causing mischief and mayhem. -- The most Naruto's going to do is dye your hair in your sleep. Sai makes dick jokes and Sakura punches things, but overall, they're not bad kids! Sasuke is. Sasuke. But that's okay, that's why there's a solid five people in that team to handle his bullshit.

Whereas Obito is stuck. With an art school grad student. -- Deidara is contextually the epitome of "I think I will cause problems on purpose." -- (Deidara... is what Tenzo would call “a bad influence.”)

Btw? Keep Sai and Deidara away from each other. Kakashi learns that the hard way. -- "Captain, the art kids are fightingggggg!"

Kakashi: Obito get a handle on your disaster Obito: DON’T YOU TALK ABOUT MY BOY THAT WAY

Jumping back a tiny bit though, Obito regularly asks Yamato to use his Mokuton to seal up Deidara's chakra for a bit. (Is this how it works in canon? Probably not, I think it's just bijuu chakra, but I also Do Not Care.)

But honestly, when it comes to Team Seven, Deidara is that one older cousin at family reunions that teaches you how to hotwire a car. -- Deidara is okay with Naruto and Sakura, ish. -- He antagonizes Sai in a way that ends in tears. -- He. Has to be kept away from Sasuke. For a variety of reasons, most of which have to do with Eyes and Explosions and Itachi.

Sasuke barely remembers who Deidara is, he’s just grumpy he couldn’t bring anyone from Taka with him.

Meanwhile Taka is just. They’re assholes? Taka bitches enough to hunt him down. They excuse it with "Juugo needs you" -- "I'm in a different dimension, eighty years in the past, how did you..." -- "Science ninja. Best sensor on the continent." -- "Also we asked Orochimaru for help." -- "Yeah, we asked Orochimaru for help."

Taka being there signals a marked improvement in Sasuke’s demeanor and cooperation, and Kakashi just resigns himself to having four more kids. -- Juugo is a godsend when he's not being set off into a homicidal rage. And he apologizes! Meanwhile, Karin and Suigetsu are The Worst.

T7+Obito and Deidara have been in the past and bullying the clans into a peace for like a week and then they just hear MASSIVE ROARING a mile away and Sasuke's like "Oh, hey, it's my idiots." -- Sasuke’s grinning for the first time in weeks. (It’s tiny and barely perceptible but it’s there.) -- I don't know that Taka could actually help at all, but they sure can cause more problems. Unlike Deidara, most of them are not intentional.

Suigetsu: Hey, Sasuke, so I know that Deidara guy tried to kill you... Sasuke: He did? Suigetsu: --but would you be mad if I tried to hook up with him? Sasuke: I don't care, knock yourself out.

(Suigetsu is the kind of man that wears tearaway pants just to reveal rainbow leggings that say "I'M GAY" on them. If Suigetsu and Sasuke didn't have at least one 'no homo' make-out session... well, I wouldn't put money on it either way, but I do think it's a valid reading of the text.)

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Deidara: What's it like when Obito actually decides to be serious? Kakashi: Uhhhhhhhhhhhh Obito, previously:

Kakashi: Trauma. It's trauma.