#back into my dark corner I go
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Poses sourced from @nordidia ‘s dtiys! I love this red box 😔💜🟥
#rottmnt#tmnt#rottmnt raph#doodle#nordidiadtiys#illustration#does a little jig#back into my dark corner I go#beep boop baby#hope ur having a good day#red square#is my favorite#square
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FUNNY OLD WORLD, ISN'T IT? 😈
#I AM BACK BACK BACK BACK BABY#who knew that good omens will be the show that pulls me out of my dark unmotivated corner#alexa play dont stop me now by queen#good omens#good omens season two#good omens spoilers#crowley#good omens edit#good omens s2#go s2#gos2 spoilers#good omens season 2 spoilers#good omens season 2#good omens 2 spoilers#my gif#my go gif#I love his stupid little arrogant face so much
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Forgive me, forgive me. I ask, I beg, I pray, but it never comes.
You know I find it incredibly bewildering to see just how much kalki reflects myself in him like YEAH Duh of course he does, he’s my little guy it’s like his full time job. But at the same time he is a fully functional facet of my being and he is at the mercy of my whimsies, and whatever he discovers in his arduous journey of self realisation is ultimately a reflection of what I discover in the real world. It’s also incredibly funny because ffxiv lore for dark knights is really baked into the idea of (re)discovering yourself amongst the bloodshed and continuing to live and love and thrive despite the world working against us. who would have thought such a raw message could come from an mmorpg side quest about edgy emo boys of all places
also adamantite armour of fending i would lay down my LIFE for u
variant + phone bg version + ID below the cut
tch as if you guys are actually going to use artwork of my little guy as your phone background. i know. how dumb. let a girl dream. i should make an alternate version but it's of Fray and Myste
[START ID: A picture with a red background focusing on the character's bust that is placed to the left of the image's centre. He is coloured with a dark blue overlay, contrasting with the red background. He has brown skin, long black hair that falls over his shoulders, and is wearing blue and gold armour and earrings. He is looking at the viewer, right eye dark brown and the left an glowing unnatural red, with an expression that looks determined and angry and yet bitter and forlorn. In the foreground and on the right side of the piece, a miniature version of the character stands coloured in a light blue overlay and wearing the same blue and gold armour, looking as if he is glowing. He is facing towards the left of the piece, or perhaps at the character bust, his expression unreadable. Above the miniature character's head is the symbol representing the FFXIV dark knight, coloured in gold. END ID.]
#the burst of creativity that shot through me is indescribable. i can only hope this is a sign that i am FINALLY out of art block#but OF COURSE my creativity comes back right when gamsat is around the corner. it's always a fucking exam. i fucking hate myself#maybe this piece is supposed to be vent art at how I CANNOT MANAGE MY SHIT AND I AM JUST. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT !!#and i tell myself it's fine but maybe it's NOT fine? i told myself i'd work on it but nothing is getting worked on#nothing productive at all. not even for uni nor for myself. nothing is happening at all. it's just going through the days#waking up. wishing i'd slept more. stare at my laptop for hours. youtube. watch 10mins of lectures. then a nap. then the laptop. then sleep#but i dont and it pisses me off because nothing is working. i'm like if linguini lost his rat and i'm staring at the kitchen catching fire#maybe go to class if it's on for that day. scrambling notes together. pretending i DO have my shit together#i COULD put out the fire. but i'm not. i could and i can but im not. the extinguisher is in my hand. fire's not going out. i'm still here.#maybe. maybe that's why drk resonates with me so much. at the end of the day. maybe i am just a stupid bastard#-who can't get their act together. who actively shoots themselves in the foot and bleeds all over the place trying to make something happen#only this time- this time the perpetrator isn't someone i can point at and demand answers from. it's me hi i'm the problem it's me#and i can- i SHOULD find a way to make this all work. to make this whole Living My Life business work. but the extinguisher's in my hand#wow okay that was really heavy anyway uhhhhh TAGS TAGS TAGS TAGSSSSS#ffxiv#ff14#ffxivwol#ffxiv wol kalki#ffxiv dark knight#artoftheagni#and the fire keeps going#tw eyestrain#cw bright colors#idk the red is really bright and it;s nice for my eyes but idk for anyone else
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guys i caught a mouse at work today
#i was walking the tech guy back because one of our printers broke#and i opened the door like yeah its right back he- thats a mouse. thats a mouse sitting in the middle of the room#he was very small and i think very confused/freaked out because he just let me. scoop him up. into my gentle loving arms#like he tried to run a little but he didn’t seem to really know where to go#so i was just on the floor like trying to get ahold of this very tiny very pathetic mouse without hurting it#while saying hey um. dont mind me printers right there with a mouse half in my hands#printer guy brought me over a little basket he found and i scooped mousie into the basket#and then i had a mouse in a basket. so i went back into the lobby and went Guys i have a Mouse in a Basket#and then my supervisor escorted me outside and we found a nice little tree with some shade and little plants to dump him at#except hed been scrambling up the basket the whole time and i think hes just accepted his fate to live there forever by then#because he would Not get out of the basket. i had to very very gently scooch him out#and yeah. maybe i pet the mouse. what do you want from me. he was very small and cute and very soft and rabbies isnt real and cant hurt me#he was so fucking cute. oh my god he was so cute. i hope he does well for himself#coworker was like ‘youre just gonna put him outside to be somethings lunch?’#and i said well. better he be lunch for someone than die in a gluetrap in some dark corner of the office#slightly more dignified way to go. benefits something. but i will be praying for a long and happy life for him regardless#every single time ive seen a mouse in my life ive immediately gone ‘oh im fucking Getting You’ <- lovingly and adoringly#so far im 2 for 5. 40% accuracy rate of Getting That Sucker#which i dont think is too bad considering mice are very small and quick and good at not being getted
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#I was talking to some buddies about lies of p and sekiro and how LoP’s defense as offense mentality helped get into sekiro#but then how sekiro overwrote that mentality with its own “offense is the best defense” mentality#or “hesitate and you lose” as Grandpappy isshin would say#and how the switch for the change for me was genichiro who I think is one of the best designed bosses in gaming#you CAN’T play too defensively with him because he’s happy to pepper you with arrows from a distance#and then the moment comes when you realize your sword interrupts his bow attacks sekiro truly begins as a game#lady butterfly is also a good fight but all her moves bring her to you so there’s less incentive to be as aggressive#vs genny baby who will back off and fire off his bow if you let him#this isn’t even like a video of me playing perfectly but I LOVE getting my feudal edgelord corner stunned and just bursting him down#I kinda hate the owl shinobi fight bc he hits too hard and his attacks just aren’t interesting to react to#but it’s also possible to corner stun him and just go to town on his health bar#owl father and inner father are much better fights and I actually really enjoyed inner father a lot#but the Ashina family fights are absolutely stunning achievements in game design imo#perfectly balanced to be difficult but fair and visually stunning to boot#even if there is a layer of artificial difficulty in the final battle with the flowers obscuring their swords when they’re crouched#but the animations are solid enough that there are enough other more subtle differences like how hes shifting his weight#if he’s centered he’s going to lunge but if he’s angled he’s gonna sweep#I had so much fun with LoP and sekiro 🥰🥰🥰 I crave more…#I can’t say the combat in Elden ring gorilla gripped me like these two games have but I like HAVE to play dark souls I know this#sekiro#tsuchi plays games
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i am so tired right now that i barely speak english let alone irish, all my thoughts are very far apart from each other and i'm struggling to put them together, and i have a 4-hour car journey tomorrow with someone whose irish is more fluent than mine so they will probably not want to talk in english. so that'll go well
in fairness they are sparing me a 5.5 hour bus trip so i really can't complain and at least if i fall asleep in the car i won't wake up in busáras having missed my stop and thus probably my flight. but
#we might arrive in dublin at like 2.30 and i can't go through security until like 5#bc i don't think i can drop my bag off more than 3 hours before#so in that case i'll probs go into the city for a bit#but if i'm still this tired i will not. i will just sit in the pre-security part of dublin airport#yes it's awful yes i hate the entire airport. but.#i am so fucking tired#maybe finding a dark corner to sit in with my book is in fact the best option#rather than using extra energy to do Activities that I won't enjoy because Big Tired#however it would be nice to call into a couple of dublin bookshops if i can#so idk. we'll see.#is the setanta wall back up yet or still in storage#dublin people lmk
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I have finished The M/entalist, a tv show that ended 10 years ago, a show that I'm sure no one else cares about, but that I am about to make my whole personality for at least 2 weeks as I have hyperfixated on it so hard I can barely breathe
so uhhhhhhhh anyways if anyone knows this show take this as an open invitation, or if not then consider this a formal warning that i may be reblogging things and screaming "P/ATRICK J/ANE" in the tags <3
#waterfalltalks#hi i am in LOVE with this man even tho hes like idk 30 years my senior#hes also fictional so <3 its fine <3 is what i tell myself <3 and its true <3 so its okay that i tell myself this <3#what can i say okay he hits EVERY one of my boxes and has a charming smile while he does it#literal sunshine but clouded with the most beautiful darkness like hello sir#also one canon and it wasnt the best and it wasnt a lot and it was from the back but you know what sometimes we starve#so the fact im not going completely without is good enough for me and i will live nicely in this world#i do not know if i will write for him but i cannot find ANYTHING for this man so i might have to just do it myself#will anyone else care? no. does that matter to me? nope hes my beloved and i want c o n t e n t#only thing stopping me rn is free time and confidence that i have his mannerisms down#maybe after i rewatch it <3 again <3 and watch many edits <3 and maybe make a few edits <3#anyways if you bothered to read this far uh- thank you? im sorry? dont mind me just losing it over my newest guy <3 you get how it is <3#(i hope <3) anyways yes thank you!! bye!! i will go sit in a corner and think about my man <3#not snz
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ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..
#ash rambles 💚#negative#part of it is definitely the weather#it's so dark and dreary and i never wanna leave my bed#but also just. my mood akdjajs I'm kinda down in the dumps today#im recovering from being sick which always fucks me up#and i just cant shake this feeling of anxiety..? and i feel kinda a lot like my f/os wouldnt like me or would fall out of love or never see#me as more than a friend and other stuff like that#i.. actually got broken up with yesterday irl!#it wasnt messy. he said that this isnt what he wanted and it was fine and we're back to being pals. i wasnt sad at all in the moment and#i dont think i am now..? it's weird. we were laughing like always literal minutes after having the chat. when we got together we said that#if things domt work out we wanna keep being friends. and we're doing just that. honestly i saw it coming and idek if i LOVE him anymore#what even does love feel like..? regardless I'm not upset or sad at my breakup since i saw it coming and I'm honestly happy he just. Talked#to me about it. we communicated and then three minutes later went back to talking about x.enoblade LMAAOO it was fun!#but it is ridiculous for me to expect to feel NOTHING at no longer being in a relationship. i cant just feel nothing. i dont feel sad per s#just... in my thoughts i guess? I don't think the feeling of my f/os not liking me stems from me being dumped though. i think thats just me#being me sjdjaksj I'm very insecure a lot of the time. i dont think being dumped helpd very much though LMAAAOO#I'm doing okay i promise. and I'll be alright. theres just both a lot and nothing going on at the same time and i feel... idk what i feel.#i hope my f/os love me 😭 i hope that a lot#and honestly i know this community is ass and I'm more than happy in my own corner with my couple of followers but. ngl I've really felt as#though I'm not valued here and all that junk as of late. yeah just.. i think everything is happening at the same time and I'm tired and#i feel like I'm a confused kiddo who doesnt know anything anymore BAHAHAHA#holy shit it just sounds like i need a shower and a nap huh- I'll be alright I'm just. dealing with stuff akdjsks but i also hate to always#bring the mood down like this! i always try my best to be haha silly and all that shit. I'm just gonna try to daydream about f/o cuddles#(and try to convince myself they dont hate me ofc)#oh and. i know i mentioned this but. i hate the weather. so much. I'm sad all the time. November is actually my least favorite month too 😭#I've gotta study a lot today and I'll try to sneak in some k.urohyou and hopefully start watching monster too but yeah i apolgize if#I'm acting off these days ajdjajs I'm very stuck in my own mind these days. not exactly the most fun place to be 😭#delete later#i mean akdjajs i literally started crying the other day because my friend said that my husband (k.yohei) loves me ajdkahdb come on ash..
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ogey, adding "digi!ren" (nickname tbd) -- a desktop buddy / ukagaka / shimeji au for ren -- to the f/o list! even if he eventually leaves the top romantic category, he's kyoot :) his tag is 💾 [ live in parallel. ] , and here's his key song lala (his true key song is smth else but. no good lyrics for his tag :/// )
#ALSO! going thru my drafts! i'm just gonna answer outstanding asks without fumbling around how long it's been hhhhh#bc we're all already aware ;;; and i know i'm still gonna be in and out of here while my health is like [gestures] This.#i just want to make the first moves to get things going again ^^ right now more than ever i miss being part of the little#corner of the community i'm in. and thinking about that is a shining light while things seem so dark right now.#also once i'm back in the swing of things here i'm gonna go back and really pare down my carrd. i think i enjoyed selfshipping more#and stressed about it less when i didn't feel like i had to stick to a strict 'plot'. yknow? i'm becoming more aware that i've been#putting artificial writing / organizational pressure on myself here + on the Other Selfship Blog + on the ren blog.#this is for funsies. no anxiety only smiles. (joking but also this is supposed to be fun... not Duty... ;;;)#anyway. again. no promises on anything anymore blah blah i always doom myself when i promise smth while my body is#turning to dust hhghghgh but i'm Starting!!! i love all of the art and writing y'all have posted and ppl WILL see it!!!!#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]
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the fact that todo isn’t real and we’re not together is purely the work of dark reunion.
#duck mumbles#JUDGEMENT KNIGHTS OF—#JUDGEMENT KNIGHTS OF THUNDER#literally me and like everyone#I do love me some aoi todo#I like my men big- a little dumb- and complete simps#todo aoi#DARK REUNION STRIKES AGAIN!#anyways i’m gonna go back to my corner#mdni#jjk todo#😫😫😫
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does anyone wanna unfollow?
like a week ago I got rid of more than half my followers but I still feel like I have too many, so if you've been considering unfollowing then here's your sign to do it 👍
#the only reason i don't wanna do it myself is bc i kept everyone who's like. a regular mutual or who appears in my notifications a lot#so i don't wanna softblock anyone who like. wants to stay following me or anything#but yeah i just wanna get my follower count down bc this blog has just become me rambling into the corner of a dark room#except behind me there are still other people in the room who can see me and hear everything i say#and I'd rather ramble into the void with less people watching if that makes sense#i can't describe it#i guess it's like i'd rather be mentally ill in private but this blog is where i go to be mentally ill. idk i can't be bothered to say word#anyway. if you unfollow i won't be offended and you can come back anytime if you want to 👍#ramble
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Will never forget the time when, before i had bought her, was feeding sweettart and the other snakes in the store, as i do every Thursday, but being the one blood in the store i knew she didn't have the same eating schedule as all the others. Still offered her small meals every week, just in case, but she often didn't want it. Understandable. Except for the time that she was getting snippy about refusing it, and would strike at the mouse just to say "hey back off with that thing" and as soon as I did, she crawled out of her box and snuggled up in my lap. Girlie didn't want food she just wanted cuddles. I may have teared up a bit. Carried her around for a few hours while working because of it. She's such a good girl.
#snakes#blood python#pets#she ate today. back then she was eating adult mice and shes now on medium rats#shes getting so chunky im so proud of her#i hadnt seen her in a few days coming up on a week and i realized OH. shes hungry and in hunting mode#literally the second i wiggled the rat in the cage her head emerged from her dark little corner#Sweettart my beloved#i feel bad cause before bed i checked on her and found her close to the door so i gave her some pats on the head#but i guess i gave her one too many cause the first few she was cool with but then she said Enough. and hissed at me#which is a first#and im so sorry maam i didnt mean to bother you i simply love you a lot#shes very polite tho she very slowly opened her mouth before hissing to let me know it was coming#and as soon as i realized she was doing an Unused Movement i backed off and THEN she gave a short to the point hiss#still scared me a bit#but i know some bloods would go straight to biting you biting you biting you#god im so blessed with her
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@blindbibliophile
pushing daisies really was a modern retelling of orpheus and eurydice in which they knew they wouldnt make it out of the underworld so instead they simply built a life together on the stairs
#well. this. explains. so much about my obsession with this show#(all my obsessions eventually circle back. to the people who will fight together despite the odds#who will follow each other into hell and back out.and in this case#if they can't get out. they'll just cuddle in the darkness and bring some friends and snacks along because why not?)#(it's amazing to look at. all my formative#romantic relationships in fandom through this lens: for RPF there's Elizabeth I/Robert Dudley. literally becoming life-long allies in the#hell of The Tower of London as kids and then Robert. dutiful hunting wolf. following her into the hell of court.#there's Dworin. where they follow each other through the hell of exile. and then Dwalin follows Thorin into the underworld of the quest.#where all the shades of their past as represented by Azog come and haunt them#there's Rufus Scrimgeour/Gawain Robards. with Gawain following Rufus through the hell of two wars as dutiful arm for the falcon to return t#who would quite literally go beyond the veil to bring Rufus back given literally the tiniest crumb of a chance fuck the consequences.#and then Holland/Vor. wading through the impossible hell of saving a city that maybe can't be saved. ok. I'll just be over in the corner#gnawing on my new fannish revelations.)
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im gonna be alone in the dorm for 3 days and im already jumping at every crick and crack. i do not have an article of clothing that is nearly sexy/frilly enough for this gothic shit
#all i have is t shirts. so it looks like this is in the survival horror or slasher genre!#i dont know what this feeling is. this happens whenever i spend the night with no one around#i hear more sounds. those sounds sound more like intruders#i hear cricks and cracks and i get the idea that there's something in here and it's going to Get Me even though i know it's impossible#sometimes a silhouette in the corner of my vision or blurred in the dark becomes a possible monster. waiting.#i'm terrified. it's hard to move; hard to get around room to room.#it's hard to break the paralysis; even twitching fingers; when its really bad.#i feel like my skin and body are rapidly fluctuating in temperature.#i dont want to have my back exposed when i get like this. i need to point it at walls so i can defend myself#it sometimes helps me to have a call with my friends.#this used to happen nightly in middle school when i first got my own separate room from my sibling#it eased off eventually.#but it comes back to bite me now that im in college; whenever my roommate is away#what is this? why is this? i can't find anything online. i dont know what to look up.#is there anyone out there who's heard of this? this panic? anxiety? paranoia? idk!!!!#it doesnt feel like it'd be rare! but my search engine has failed me
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#GIRL making your own sylveon without the naming strat on pokemon go is so MNGHFGHKLFGJHHH#HOW MANY FUCKING HEARTS DID IT SAY.. 70???#OH. wait nvm im literally 15 away#GIRL i was dreading continuing this shit bc i thought i needed ultra buddy the whole time 😭😭#if u do go outside u just need like 5-7 days LMAO k nvm#but its funny how fast im getting ultra buddy bc i just got my first ultra buddy w zacian the other day!#catch assist looks so silly and i love it :) lil guy pops out of the corner of my screen when the ball bounces off a pokemon and bounces it#back onto the pokemon like tyvm!!! i wish it was guaranteed so i could do that strat everytime LMAOO sooo cutee#i want zamazenta as my buddy tho >< zacians cool but zacians blue! and i like the shiny colors better tbh. just easier on my eyes#and zamazenta!! heart eyes!! pink and red!!! so cute!! i love it!#and for some reason they place zacian so far behind u on ur profile if thats ur buddy but if u put zamazenta its a lot closer idk#AND I LOVE BIG FLUFFY LOOKIN STUFF... i understand zamazenta and zacian have been through some shit but fluffy?? fluffy????? 🥺🥺🥺#unfortunately im a lot more attached to this shiny zamazenta than i initially thought id be LMAOO if it was regular colored#i might like it less.. zacian too SORRYYY the shiny colors r just so nice 🥺 zamazenta's literally my fav colors n fluffy!!!#but yeah i wasnt super attached in the beginning bc i have a good fairy type (sylveon) and have been trying to get other fighting types#bc of normal types in gyms ( i hate u mfs for that btw </3 ) AND THOSE TWO CANT EVEN GET SAME TYPE FAST ATTACKS..#BUT THEYRE A SINGLE TYPE POKEMON LIKE GIRL FUCK im bad w typings MAKE IT EASY FOR ME#anyway i adjusted. ice FA for zama and fire FA for zac. fuck the meta. i do want dark FA for zac but im not risking reroll idc idc idccc#i think my new pkmn go obsession is funny tho bc i started playing just bc my cousin was. and my mom redownloaded so we could add and gift#so i did too. now im probably more into it than my cousin and mom LMAOO#oopsies! whatever! it gets me outside and walking so im sure nobody cares LOL#44597#WAIT I SPENT 1572.. oh i was inactive I WAS GONNA SAY 1572 DAYS W BUIZEL AND NOT GREAT BUDDY??#HUH!? THERES A LV 40 MISSION WHERE U GOTTA DO ALL EEVEELUTIONS? FUCK YOUU <//3
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Mmmmm I love memory loss 🥰🥰 I love not rembering things that make me sad 🥰🥰 mmm yummy memory loss
#my mind#vent#in this case my whole life is being sad so forgeting things that make sad just means that my sense of self and remembering#only go two years back before I don't wanna think about it and it gets archived on the mental haze corner of darkness
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