#back in the days... (christmas day 2021)

[thrilling-oneway]

bro seeing the old sekai ao3 stats made me weirdly nostalgic which made me realize sekai has existed long enough to be nostalgic over things and i am not mentally ready to think about that

ensekai released when i was in my last year of high school and now i'm in my last year of college i don't want to think about that. what do you mean it's been almost two years I still consider Same Dreams Same Colors to be a recent event

[colorblindmess]

the good thing about having a small tumblr account is the fact i can post shit like "happy dsmp christmas may" and no one is around to question me

[holyviolence]

just reflecting on my past and realizing how shit everything's been. tw for lotsa things in tags or you can just ignore and go on with ur day <3

[throwing-roses-into-the-abyss]

seriously wondering if I'm cursed or something

[meazalykov]

the season to (not) be jolly

barcelona femeni x esmee brugts x reader

summary: you hated christmas, and your teammates figure out why

warnings: childhood neglect, trauma, angst, financial poverty, etc

the excitement rings through the barca locker room like electricity, bouncing off the walls and between your teammates. 

the holiday break is just around the corner, only one training session and ninety minutes of football separating everyone from flights to faraway places like back home, home-cooked meals, and quality time with loved ones that only get to see them from the stands at important games. 

it is a cheerful chaos—laughter echoing, jokes being thrown back and forth, and plans being laid out like promises.

"we’ll be in norway,” mapi grins, slinging her arm around ingrid as she sits beside her. 

“ingrid’s parents already have the cabin ready. a real winter wonderland, i shall say.”

“it’ll be nice to be home,” ingrid adds softly, her smile as calm and steady as always. 

you sit at your locker, head tilted down as you lace your boots, pretending to be engrossed in the task as their words float around you. 

it feels safer to keep your eyes on your hands, watching how your fingers move—pull, tighten, tie. over and over again. anything to distract yourself from the sting in your chest.

you feel it every december. that heaviness. that punching ache in your ribs when people start talking about their families, their holiday traditions, and their childhood memories. 

you can’t relate. you never could.

to your left, keira and lucy are chatting animatedly about spending christmas in england, lucy teasing ona about the inevitable cold since ona will be going with her. to your right, patri and claudia are arguing over who will get more gifts from their loved ones, both wearing matching grins as they playfully push on each other.

but you? you just exist in the in-between, silent, invisible.  

the noise grows louder. the locker room feels smaller. your throat tightens, that familiar burn rising behind your eyes. you push it away. this is not the time to fall apart.

alexia’s voice cuts through the chatter again, light and teasing as she looks ahead at you. 

“nina, you’ve been quiet. what about you? where are you headed this christmas?”

you freeze for half a second. it’s subtle enough to go unnoticed, but the question lingers in the air like a heavy fog. you glance up, forcing your expression into something neutral—something safe.  

“nowhere special,” you say with a small shrug, trying to keep your voice steady. 

“just staying here at home. might catch up on needed sleep without needing to wake up for training.”

“no plans with family?” mapi asks, brows furrowing slightly.

you hate that. you hate when people ask about your family. after leaving your home to live in paris, where you played for a season and a half with psg (before leaving when the barcelona offer came up in 2021), you stopped talking to your mother who wanted nothing to do with you. 

your answer has never changed, and yet, every time it feels like a fresh wound being prodded.  

“yeah,” you mutter, looking back down at your laces. 

“just after christmas though.”

thankfully, mapi doesn’t press further. her attention shifts back to ingrid as she brings up the norwegian christmas markets, and you’re left to sink back into your silence, drowning in it. 

you look over at the corner of the locker room to see esmee, your girlfriend, looking right at you. jana sits beside her, laughing about a joke sydney made while esmee notices the sadness in your eyes. 

the look in your eyes can be hidden from the team, but you can’t hide it from esmee.  

she notices—of course she does—because she knows you better than anyone, even after just eight months of being together. normally, you’re her sunshine, a steady source of warmth no matter what the day brings. 

you’re the first to crack a joke after a tough training session, the one to steal food off her plate at team dinners just to see her roll her eyes, the one who sneaks kisses when no one’s looking and holds her like she’s the most precious thing in the world. 

but now? now you’re quieter, smaller. you smile, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes, and your laughter sounds hollow when it finally comes.  

“i don’t have to go, you know,” she told you last week as you sit together on the couch, her thumb tracing gentle circles over the back of your hand. 

“i can stay here with you.”  

you shake your head almost immediately, forcing a smile as you press a kiss to her knuckles. 

“no, es, you should go. your family wants to see you. they miss you.” 

you don’t tell her the rest—that you don’t want her anywhere near the dark place that december always drags you into. she’s too bright, too good, to get caught up in the emptiness you feel during this time of year. so you push her away gently, telling her you’ll be fine, that you’ll call her every day and send pictures of maple– your cat— curled up at the foot of the bed. 

esmee doesn’t look convinced. she squeezes your hand tighter, leaning her forehead against yours.  

“you’re not fine,” she whispers, eyes searching yours. 

“i am, esmee.” you say. 

you’re just tired, you convince yourself. however, the words stick in your throat because you know she won’t believe them. this is the first december you’ve spent together, the first time she’s seen you like this, and it terrifies you—being vulnerable in front of someone you care about so much. 

you’ve always hated christmas. as a kid, it was just another reminder of everything you didn’t have. no presents waiting under a tree. no stockings hung by the fire. no warm meals shared at a crowded table.  

instead, you had an empty house, cold and quiet.  

your mom always worked. always. christmas, birthdays, weekends—it didn’t matter. “we need the money,” she’d say coldly, pulling her coat on as she hurried out the door, leaving you behind. 

sometimes, she’d forget it was even christmas until days later.  

“we’ll celebrate next year,” she’d promise. but next year never came.

you can still remember what it felt like to see the other kids at your academy, showing off their shiny new boots, their expensive kits, their gear from nike or adidas. their parents would stand proudly by the sidelines, bundled up in warm coats, smiling as they cheered.  

then there was you, wearing a pair of cleats one size too big—scuffed, worn, bought secondhand with the crumpled euro bills you’d earned from mowing lawns or shoveling snow after training each afternoon. you’d tuck your hands into the pockets of your thrift-store jacket to hide the holes in the seams.  

your academy teammates didn’t know how lucky they were.  

you hated them for it, sometimes. hated their laughter, their joy, their easy lives. mostly, you hated yourself for feeling like you didn’t belong. for being the girl who showed up every day with nothing to show for it but grit, raw talent, and determination.  

now, years later, that feeling lingers.  

you’ve worked hard—harder than anyone—to get here. to wear the barcelona crest on your chest. to play alongside some of the best players in the world. to prove to yourself, and to everyone else, that you deserve this.  

no matter how much success you achieve, no matter how many goals you score or games you win, you can’t outrun the past.  

christmas will always be a reminder of what you never had.  

you pull your boots off, methodical and slow, as the locker room continues to cheer around you. your teammates don’t notice the way your shoulders slump or how you turn away slightly, shielding your face.  

“hey,” a voice says quietly beside you. it’s aitana, sitting beside you since her locker is beside yours. her tone is softer than usual, like she’s noticed something. 

“you okay?”

you nod quickly, too quickly.

“yeah. just tired.”

she doesn’t look convinced, but she doesn’t push. aitana never does. she just nods and goes back to her boots, letting the moment pass without making it heavier than it already is.  

you’re grateful for that.

you finish changing, moving through the motions on autopilot, your mind elsewhere. the noise in the room feels muffled, like you’re underwater, and when you finally leave the locker room, stepping out into the cold december air in your new training gear, you inhale sharply—like you’ve been holding your breath all along.  

the sun is already setting as you leave training hours later, streaks of orange and pink blending with the darkening sky. your breath comes out in clouds as you walk toward your car, hands stuffed deep into your coat pockets.  

you stare at the horizon for a moment, watching the city lights flicker to life in the distance. it’s beautiful, you think absently. and yet, it makes you feel so small.

tomorrow, the break begins. your teammates along with your girlfriend will board flights, heading off to homes filled with warmth, love, and laughter.  

and you? you’ll stay here. alone.  

you’ve grown used to loneliness over the years. it’s familiar. like an old coat you can’t bring yourself to throw away.  

that doesn’t mean it hurts any less.  

you sit in your car for a long time before starting the engine, the radio playing faintly in the background. a christmas song—cheerful and bright—fills the silence, and you quickly shut it off, gripping the steering wheel tightly.  

you hate christmas. you hate the way it makes you feel. like you’re still that little girl, watching the world through a window, longing for something you’ll never have.  

turning on the radio, you hear, “walking around the christmas tr–” before slamming your fingers on the mute button. there was no christmas tree in your apartment, nothing in your space shows that it is even december. 

not like alexia’s apartment that clearly shows that is is the holiday season. the scent of cinnamon candles and fresh pine greet esmee like a warm hug as she visits alexia. 

soft music plays from a speaker in the corner, and the living room is an organized mess of wrapping paper, ribbon spools, and tape dispensers scattered across the coffee table.  

“es!” mapi’s voice is the first to cut through the scene, grinning up from where she’s sitting on the floor, tape stuck to her sleeve. 

“about time you showed up. come help me wrap ingrid’s gift before she figures out what it is.”  

“you’re impossible,” ingrid mutters beside her, laughing as she ties a bow on someone else’s gift. maybe vicky’s since esmee saw the ipad that the younger girl asked for. 

esmee smiles at the couple teasing eachother, kicking her shoes off and settling onto the floor, careful not to disrupt the organized chaos. across the room, olga – alexia’s girlfriend – sits on the couch beside alexia, scissors in hand as she trims the edges of wrapping paper, while salma sprawls nearby, half her attention on the gift she’s wrapping and half on her phone.  

“is mine here?” esmee teases after a moment, eyes narrowing playfully at the pile of brightly wrapped boxes beside alexia.  

“it’s already done,” alexia replies without looking up, focused on folding the paper perfectly around a large box. 

“you’re not getting any sneak peeks until new year’s eve like everyone else.”  

“como no,” esmee groans dramatically, earning a laugh from salma and mapi. she leans back on her hands, soaking in the cheerful atmosphere for a moment, but the weight in her chest pulls her down before she can fully enjoy it. 

the smile fades from her face, and her gaze drops to her lap.  

“what’s wrong?” alexia asks, finally noticing the shift in her demeanor.  

esmee hesitates, chewing her bottom lip. “it’s... about y/n.”  

the room quiets slightly, everyone’s attention turning toward her. mapi raises an eyebrow, already halfway to smirking as she leans into ingrid. 

“trouble in paradise?”  

“no, no,” esmee says quickly, shaking her head. 

“it’s nothing like that.”  

olga sets down her scissors, studying esmee carefully. 

“then what’s wrong?”  

esmee swallows hard, fiddling with the corner of a ribbon. 

“i feel like... i need to stay in barcelona for the holidays. with y/n. she’s—she’s going to be alone.”  

alexia frowns slightly, confused. 

“no, she’s not. she told me she’s going to see her mom and family eventually.” 

esmee’s heart sinks, her brows furrowing as she glances up at alexia. “that’s not true,” she says softly, shaking her head. “she hasn’t spoken to her family in nearly five years.”  

silence falls over the room like a heavy blanket. alexia looks stunned, her brow creasing deeply as she processes esmee’s words. salma sets her phone down, staring in disbelief, while mapi and ingrid exchange quiet glances.  

“she told you that?” alexia asks carefully, her voice softer now.  

“yeah,” esmee nods, her voice steady but heavy with concern. 

“she doesn’t want anyone to know. i think—i think she told you that lie so you wouldn’t feel bad for her. she hates christmas. she’s always hated it. i don’t know why, but i can assume that it has to do with her family.”  

“joder,” mapi mutters under her breath, rubbing the back of her neck. 

“y/n’s gonna be alone? she didn’t tell anyone?”  

“she wouldn’t,” esmee says, guilt rising in her chest as she looks around at them. 

“she acts like everything’s fine, but it’s not.”  

ingrid exhales slowly, her face softening with quiet understanding. “we can’t just leave her like this,” she says firmly. 

“esmee’s right—she shouldn’t be alone.”  

“what do you suggest?” alexia asks, her voice sharper now, edged with determination.  

“we go to her,” mapi says immediately, pushing herself to her feet as if the decision is already made. 

“right now. if she won’t talk to us, we’ll make her.”  

“she’s going to hate me,” esmee says quietly, worry flickering across her face as she stands, too. 

“she doesn’t want anyone to know. she’s going to be so upset that i brought you all into this.”  

alexia crosses the room in a few strides, stopping in front of esmee and placing a hand on her shoulder. her expression is calm but resolute, a quiet authority in the way she looks at her.  

“she won’t be upset at you,” alexia says firmly. “i won’t let her be.”  

esmee lets out a shaky breath, nodding slowly as the others begin to gather their things. the cheerful hum of the evening is gone now, replaced by a silent determination that hangs thick in the air. alexia is the first to head for the door, already pulling on her coat, and one by one, the others follow—mapi, ingrid, olga, salma.  

as esmee pulls her own coat on, she sends up a silent hope that you will understand. she knows how fiercely you guard your heart, how much you hates people seeing the parts of yourself that are broken. 

esmee also knows that you deserve more than an empty apartment and silence on christmas day.  

back to you– the steam still lingers faintly in your bathroom, curling around the doorframe as you pad out into your apartment, feeling the lingering warmth of your everything shower settle into your skin. your matching red plaid pajamas feel soft and clean, clinging to you in that perfect way that only comes after freshly washed laundry. 

you won’t admit to anyone that the red plaid feels a little festive—that maybe, on some level, you allowed yourself to indulge in something resembling the season.  

your hair is pulled back in a loose, low braid, wisps escaping around your face, and your apartment is spotless. floors vacuumed, counters wiped down, blankets folded neatly on the couch. if you couldn’t have christmas, the least you could do was make sure the space felt fresh and ready for the new year. clean, organized, empty. just like you wanted it.  

you hum quietly as you step into the kitchen, reaching for the bowl of fruit on the counter. you’d planned to snack a little while watching a movie tonight, something non-festive—maybe a thriller like friday the 13th– anything that didn’t mention families or magic or joy.  

before your hands can reach the fruit bowl, there’s a knock at your door.  

you frown slightly, the sound cutting through the quiet apartment like an unexpected jolt. you assume it’s esmee—she’d mentioned she might come by to say goodbye before she left for the netherlands in the morning.  

“coming,” you call softly, feet shuffling toward the door.  

when you swing it open, your breath catches in your chest.  

standing in the hallway, crammed into the small space outside your apartment, are esmee, mapi, ingrid, alexia, salma, and olga. esmee stands closest to the door, just beside mapi, her expression tinged with worry that makes your stomach turn. 

everyone else has the same look—soft, cautious, and far too knowing.  

“what’s—” you start, forcing a smile to smooth over your features. 

“what are you all doing here?”  

“surprise?” mapi tries, her voice lighter than the rest, but even she falters when your eyes narrow slightly in confusion.  

“can we come in?” alexia asks softly, her tone careful.  

you nod slowly, stepping aside to let them file in one by one. salma gives you a small smile as she passes, and olga pulls you into a quick hug—her familiar warmth a brief comfort.  

“it’s good to see you,” she says, and you force another smile, nodding.  

“you too. it’s been a while.”  

as the door clicks shut and you turn back to face them, the knot in your chest tightens. their expressions don’t match their usual energy—not the teasing, playful banter you’re used to. instead, they’re quiet, gentle. worried.  

“is everything okay?” you ask, scanning the room as they settle awkwardly around your small living space. you go on sit on your grey colored sectional couch as everyone follows you. 

alexia is the first to speak.

“y/n... are you really going to see your family this year?”  

the question hits you like a punch to the gut. your heart drops, and your eyes immediately dart to esmee, who looks at you apologetically. you don’t even need to say it—your expression screams “did you tell them?” 

esmee shifts slightly, opening her mouth to speak, but mapi cuts in before she can.  

“she can’t save you from this conversation,” mapi says gently, though there’s no humor in her voice. 

“we know you lied.”  

you take a small step back, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. “i’m fine,” you say quickly, the words rushing out before you can think. 

“i don’t have christmas plans, and that’s okay.”  

“it’s not okay,” ingrid says firmly, her voice soft but resolute. 

“y/n, it’s clearly not fine.”  

you feel the walls closing in, your heart pounding in your chest. the room feels too small, the air too thick. flight or fight mode kicks in—you want to run, to get away from their prying eyes and gentle words that feel like they’re picking you apart piece by piece.  

“there’s nothing wrong,” you stammer, shaking your head as you back toward the couch. 

“i don’t know what you’re all talking about. i’m fine—”  

“hey,” esmee’s voice cuts through the panic, soft but steady, and when you look at her, the tension eases ever so slightly. 

“it’s okay. nobody here is judging you, okay? you’re safe. you’re not in trouble for lying to ale.”  

her words ground you enough to sit down, curling into the corner of your couch. you hug your knees to your chest, wishing you could shrink into yourself, disappear completely. 

you don’t want to be here, in this moment, with all their eyes on you.  

“i just hate how everyone gets to have a good holiday except me,” you mumble, the words spilling out before you can stop them. your voice wavers, cracking slightly as the truth seeps through the cracks in your armor.  

ingrid is the first to move, crossing the room to sit beside you. she doesn’t say anything—just wraps an arm around your shoulders, holding you gently. olga comes next, kneeling on the floor beside the couch and resting a hand on your arm.  

“what do you mean by that?” olga asks softly, her voice a careful whisper.  

alexia moves to sit in front of you, dropping to her knees so she can look up into your face. her expression is open and kind, patient in the way only alexia can be.  

“what happened, y/n?”  

you close your eyes tightly, your fingers digging into your knees as you try to fight back the sting of tears. you don’t want to tell them. you don’t want anyone to know. but the words are already there, clawing their way out, demanding to be heard.  

“i never had christmas, my birthday afterwards did not seem important either..” you whisper finally, your voice so small it’s almost lost to the room. 

“i don’t even know what the happy feeling is supposed to feel like.”  

alexia’s brow furrows, and mapi leans forward, her voice quiet but gentle. 

“can you explain?”  

you take a shaky breath, the air trembling as it leaves your lungs. 

“growing up... it was just me and my mom. we didn’t have money for christmas. no tree, no presents, nothing. she worked all the time—she had to. bills came first. even with that, she was never nice to me. she made it seem like i was asking for too much.”  

your throat tightens, but you force yourself to keep going, to let it out.  

“when i was in the academy, all the other kids would come back after christmas with new cleats, new gear, new jerseys. i’d still be in hand-me-downs from thrift stores. i’d use money i got from doing yard work to buy boots that were a size too big to make sure i could fit in them for a few seasons– because it was all i could afford.”  

the room is silent as you speak, the weight of your words settling over everyone like a blanket. ingrid’s arm tightens around you, and olga gently rubs your arm as tears sting the corners of your eyes.  

“i hated it,” you admit, your voice breaking. 

“i hated watching everyone else have families, have traditions, have... love. i hated feeling like i did something wrong, like i wasn’t good enough to deserve it.”  

you bury your face in your knees, unable to look at them. your shoulders shake slightly as you try to keep yourself together, but the truth is out now, raw and ugly, and you feel exposed in a way that terrifies you.  

“you didn’t do anything wrong,” esmee says softly, sitting on the floor beside alexia now. 

“none of that was your fault, y/n.”  

you don’t respond, but the tears slip free, hot and silent against your skin. you feel alexia’s hand settle on your knee, grounding you, and ingrid presses a kiss to the side of your head.  

“it’s not fair,” you whisper. 

“it’s not fair that everyone else gets to be happy except me.”  

“but you deserve to be happy, too,” alexia says gently, her voice firm with conviction. 

“you deserve love, and joy, and traditions, just like everyone else.”  

“we can’t change your childhood,” salma adds softly. 

“but we can change this year and every year after this one.” 

you lift your head slightly, looking at her through blurry eyes.

“what do you mean?”  

“you’re not spending christmas alone,” ingrid says simply, brushing a tear from your cheek. 

“none of us are going to let that happen.”  

“you’ll come with me and olga,” alexia says. 

“we’re having dinner with her family on christmas eve, and you’re coming. no arguments.”  

“and before you say no,” olga adds quickly, smirking slightly, “it’s not a pity invite. it’s a ‘we want you there because we care about you’ invite.”  

you look around the room, at all of them—esmee, alexia, mapi, ingrid, olga, salma. their faces are open, kind, and so full of love that it makes your chest ache.  

“you don’t have to do this,” you say quietly, but esmee shakes her head.  

“we want to,” she says softly. 

“you’re not alone anymore, y/n. you have us now, you have me.”  

something shifts in your chest at her words, the weight you’ve been carrying for years lifting

you don’t know what christmas will feel like this year, but maybe, just maybe, it won’t be so bad.  

esmee shifts beside you, reaching for your hand, threading her fingers through yours as you lay your head on her chest. her touch is soft, steady, and when you glance at her, you see something unwavering in her eyes—love, determination, all of it laid bare.  

“i’m staying in barcelona,” she says quietly, her voice gentle but firm.  

your brows furrow immediately, and you sit up slightly. 

“esmee, you don’t have to—”  

“no,” she cuts you off, shaking her head with a small smile. 

“i’ve already decided. my family is coming here instead on the day after christmas. we’ll celebrate together, and you’ll be with us.”  

you open your mouth to protest again, the instinct to push her away rising, but before you can say anything, alexia’s voice chimes in, calm and final.  

“again, that’s not up for debate,” she says softly, kneeling back onto the floor to look at you, a small smile tugging at her lips. 

“you’re family to us, y/n. esmee’s family loves you just as much as we do. and that’s final.”  

you glance back at esmee, your heart tightening, your walls cracking just a little more as her thumb rubs soothing circles over your knuckles.  

“you’re not alone anymore,” she says again, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“this year, you’ll have a real christmas. with me. with my family. with our family.”  

you stare at her for a moment, overwhelmed by the weight of her words, by the love in her gaze that feels so foreign yet so familiar all at once.  

"okay,” you whisper, your voice trembling slightly as the beginnings of a smile tug at your lips. 

“okay.”  

esmee leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your temple as alexia gives your knee one last reassuring squeeze. the rest of the room seems to exhale in relief, the energy softening into something warm and safe, like a blanket wrapping around you.  

for the first time in years, you let yourself believe it.  

you’re not alone.  

and this year, christmas will be different.

masterlist

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Wham! - Last Christmas 1984

"Last Christmas" is a song by British pop duo Wham!. Written and produced by George Michael, it was released on 3 December 1984 via CBS Records internationally and as a double A-side via Epic Records with "Everything She Wants" in several European countries. Wham! donated all of their royalties to relief efforts for the Ethiopian famine.

Upon its initial release in 1984, "Last Christmas" spent five consecutive weeks at number two in the UK singles chart—it was held off the top spot at Christmas by Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas?" (poll #444), on which Michael also performed. After many chart runs in subsequent years, which included three more weeks at number two, the song finally reached number one in the UK Singles Chart on New Year's Day 2021, more than 36 years after its initial release; in doing so, it became the fifth UK number one single for the duo. Prior to it reaching number one, "Last Christmas" had for many years held the record as the highest-selling single never to top the charts by the Official Charts Company (OCC) with 1.9 million copies sold (not including streams). The song reached number one in the UK after it was streamed 9.2 million times in the last week of 2020 and sold 1,555 downloads, resulting in a total of 40,149 combined sales.

Having been the Christmas number two again in 2022, "Last Christmas" finally achieved the accolade of Christmas number one in 2023, 39 years after its initial release, and, in 2024, became the first song to be the Christmas number one in back-to-back years. Combining sales and streams, it also became the third biggest song of all time in the UK. It was certified sextuple platinum in December 2023. Outside the UK, the song topped the charts in fourteen countries and peaked within the top ten of the charts in several countries including Australia, Canada and the US. In Germany, the song is the most successful Christmas single of all time, having spent 169 weeks on the German Singles Chart and attained a peak position of number 1 on 24 December 2021. It has charted every year since 1997. It is the eighth best-selling single of all time in Japan released by a non-Japanese act. It also reached number two on the Billboard Global 200 in January 2021. On 10 December 2024, the digital single was certified 7× Platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), indicating US sales of 7 million digital units.

The 2019 film Last Christmas prominently features the music of George Michael, including this song.

"Last Christmas" received a total of 78,3% yes votes! Previous Wham!/George Michael polls: #62 "As", #108 "Everything She Wants", #219 "Freedom! '90".

[jakeperalta]

★ countdown to christmas (take two) ★ day 1 of 24: taylor swift songs as holiday film posters

christmas tree farm, in the style of white christmas (1954)

'tis the damn season, in the style of carol (2015)

back to december, in the style of the holiday (2006)

champagne problems, in the style of happiest season (2020)

lover, in the style of single all the way (2021)

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Naughty or Nice?

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.8k

Warnings: smut, fem!receiving

Summary: This year, you’re going to ask Santa for something only you have been able to give you thus far. Orgasms.

Square Filled: Christmas (2021) for @spndeanbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Normally, the mall is a place you and your friends avoid during the holiday season, but you heard that they were hosting auditions for Santa this year. Rumor has it, that someone super attractive got it. Again, you’re not one to go man-hunting at a crowded mall with children and families running everywhere, but here you are.

Your dating life hasn’t been all that great. It mostly consists of hookups and one-night stands that can never get you to orgasm. Only your pink ice cream clit vibrator has ever been able to do the job, so you’re hoping to come here and maybe meet a willing Santa to take home. Maybe if you sit on his lap and wish for orgasms, he’ll be inclined to give you one.

It’s worth a shot.

“I can’t believe you’re going to do this,” your friend, Beth, says.

“What? Men who audition for Santa usually aren’t men from this town. They’re all married and they don’t want to take the joy away from their kids. Whoever it is, is from out of town, which means he can be hot, single, and eager for a hookup.”

“I thought you were done with those.”

“No, I am done with hookups from men who only think about themselves. I’ll be able to take one look at this Santa and know if he can jingle my bells if you know what I mean.”

Beth laughs and shakes her head. “I don’t think parents would allow their children to sit on a sexy man’s lap.”

“Only one way to find out. Come on.”

The area where kids are meeting Santa is already crowded with families, and the line is already three stores down from the start. When Dean heard about the Santa auditions, he put in his name when he was drunk. What harm would it do if he decided to be Santa for a night? On one hand, he can make a lot of children’s days by being Santa. On the other hand, he could meet a kid’s single mom or their sexy aunt and take them home. It’s a win-win.

“Okay, I thought you were joking before, but you’re really going to do this?” Sam asks his brother.

Dean pulls on the red coat and smirks at his brother. “Hot chicks, Sammy.”

“Kids, Dean.”

Dean shrugs. “It comes with the job. Just go find something to do. This shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours.”

“You’re relentless.”

“Dedicated, Sam,” Dean smirks.

Sam rolls his eyes and leaves the room. He decides to head back to the motel room instead of sticking around. Dean finishes getting ready and walks out with one of the mall coordinators. As soon as the kids see him, they cheer at the thought of being with Santa even for a minute. He stays true to his character and plays the best Santa he can be for the kids also while looking out for anyone single and willing to go home with him.

“Looks to me like he’s a regular guy,” Beth says to you as you inch closer to the front of the line.

“Beth, you are married so I don’t expect you to see this but I caught a glimpse of him as he was putting his costume on. I think he was carved by the Gods themselves.”

“You’re relentless,” she rolls her eyes.

“What? I am just trying to participate in Christmas traditions.”

“You don’t even have any kids.”

“I’m practicing…?”

“By asking Santa for,” she lowers her voice to a whisper, “orgasms?”

“Yes.”

Beth laughs, and you get closer to the front of the line. Dean takes a picture with one of the little girls who just asked for a pony when he locks eyes with you. For just a few seconds, it’s like time has slowed down just for the two of you. Even from where you’re standing, you can see how green his eyes are.

“Next!” the mall attendant yells.

“Good luck,” Beth whispers and steps off to the side where the parents wait.

The mall attendant gives you a weird look, especially when you step up on the platform where Dean is. She doesn’t say anything because she doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it even though you’re getting some dirty looks from parents in line.

“Well, who do we have here? What’s your name?” Dean drawls when you sit on his lap.

“Y/N.”

“And have you been a good girl this year?”

You smirk when you hear the double meaning in his words.

“Oh, I’ve been a very bad girl.”

Dean’s eyes darken. “You know the deal. Bad girls don’t get presents.”

“Might you make an exception?”

He licks his lips, and you can’t help but watch his tongue. “I might. Depends on what you want.”

You lean in so that your mouth is close to your ear. You don’t need everyone in the mall to hear this.

“Orgasms.”

“Bad girl or not, I think I can help with that.”

“I’d hope you would,” you grin.

“Meet me after in front of Barnes and Noble.”

You forgo the picture and leave to give the kids what they came here for. Dean shifts in his seat to hide the erection you gave him. He’s not trying to scar any children or piss off any parents.

“Did you ask him?” Beth asks when you walk away from the place.

“Yes. God, he was so much more attractive up close. He was so… firm. I’m going to meet him after he’s done. Thank you for coming with me.”

“Anytime. I have to get back to Jared. He already started drinking eggnog without me.”

“Okay. I’ll let you know how it goes,” you wink.

You wait anxiously in front of Barnes and Noble until the very last child has had her turn with Santa. The more you’re by yourself, the more you psych yourself out. Was this a good idea? You don’t even know the man. He could be a murderer for all you know. Okay, maybe not that but he could have dark secrets in his closet.

Before you can convince yourself to leave, a man who you believe is Santa walks over to you wearing flannel, jeans, and a black jacket.

“So, have you decided if you want to be naughty or nice?”

“Whichever is more fun,” you grin.

“Naughty it is.” He holds his hand out and you take it. “I’m Dean.”

“Y/N, but you already know that.”

He even has a hot car. Once you see the shiny black Impala, you decide you’re going to milk Dean for everything he’s got before he leaves. He might very well be the best one-night stand you’ll ever have.

Dean takes you back to his motel room where Sam is reading a lore book. He looks up when the door opens, and he shakes his head when he sees his brother isn’t alone.

“Out, Sammy.”

“Dude.”

“Would you rather watch me fuck her?”

“That’s something I’m not opposed to if you’re into that sort of thing,” you say.

“No, thanks,” Sam pouts. “I’m going to get a room far from yours.”

As soon as Sam leaves, Dean pulls you into him and presses light kisses down your neck.

“So, are you going to unwrap me?”

“Damn right, I am, and I’m going to take all night to do it.” Dean lays you down on the bed and runs his hands down your legs. “Are you wet for me?”

“Undress me and find out.”

Dean practically rips your clothes away, and you don’t even think about needing them tomorrow at the moment. All you want right now is his mouth and fingers on you. Dean cups your pussy and runs two fingers through your slit to confirm that yes, you are wet and ready for him. He falls to his knees and you spread your legs open wide for him.

He grips your thighs and pulls you to the edge of the bed before burying his face between your legs. Some of the men you’ve been with hated going down on you, so you haven’t had a man down there in a while. Just the simple act of Dean sliding his tongue through your folds is enough to bring a squeal out of you.

“Fuck, Dean, that feels so good,” you moan and grab his hair.

“Good. I’m not stopping until you’re dripping down my chin.”

Dean massaged your clit with his tongue before sliding down to your entrance. He tongues you rapidly while rubbing your clit with his thumb. You can’t come unless your clit is stimulated, but you honestly think Dean could just lick you and you’d explode for him. Maybe you’ll test that theory later tonight when you go for another round. Dean is the kind of man you go multiple rounds with.

“Shit, Dean, that feels so good. I’m gonna come.”

“Come all over my face.”

You don’t wait another second before exploding around his tongue, and he laps up every drop you’re giving him.

“God, you taste like Heaven,” Dean moans.

He kisses your clit once before standing up. You stand and kiss him even though you can taste yourself on his lips. You undress him until you’re both naked, and he turns you so that you’re facing the bed. He gently pushes down on your back until you’re on your hands and knees, and he grips your hips and tugs you hard enough for you to lose your balance. You fall face first on the bed with your ass in the air, just how he wants you.

He grabs the base of his cock and squeezes to prevent his release from coming too soon. He pumps twice before sliding the head of his cock between your pussy lips.

“Dean, skip the formalities. Please, fuck me.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”

He grabs both sides of your hips and slides into your pussy slowly so that you can feel every inch. You gasp from the stretch but he doesn’t stop until you’re completely full of him. You grip the sheets and push back into him as much as you can from your position. Dean pulls out only to slam back in, and you can’t help the loud moan from coming out.

“Fuck, Y/N, how are you so tight?”

“You feel so good, Dean,” you moan.

Thankfully Sam isn’t next door or else he’d hear the sound of skin slapping against skin and your beautiful moans.

“Rub your clit for me, baby. Get yourself closer to the edge. I want to come with you.”

You reach down and rub your clit in fast hard circles. It’s been so long that you’re approaching the edge faster than you’d thought you would.

“Fuck, Dean, I’m close again.”

“Come all over my cock.”

You do as he says and explode all around him. You squeeze his cock several times which brings Dean over the edge. He slows his thrusting to ride out both of your highs until neither of you can give anything more. He pulls out of you and falls onto the bed next to you.

“I hope you’ve got more than one round in you.”

He smirks. “Baby, I can go all night.”

You love Christmas time.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[f1version]

26 BIRTHDAY KISSES ★ CL16

pairing: charles leclerc x gf!reader ( she/her )

summary: 26th birthday, 26 pictures of you and Charles kissing. A kiss for each year.

notes: i’m back from my birthday trip!! i wrote this birthday special in like 30 minutes and it’s still charles’ birthday in a couple of places so… i’m not exactly late! enjoy <3

26 KISSES: A GALLERY

By your beautiful girlfriend, in collaboration with a lot of people but mainly Joris and ourselves.

1. DRUNK DANCING: A month after we got together, we were at Arthur’s 18th birthday. We got drunk, singing and dancing to the worst playlist in existence (Lorenzo’s) and, somehow, Arthur got to capture this moment I barely even remember.

Taken by Arthur Leclerc, 2018

2. AUGUST 2019: Summer break, so sweet so loving. You made me promise that if you jumped off first, I would jump too. It took me fifteen minutes to follow after you. Also your kisses were incredibly salty.

Taken by Joris Trouche, 2019

3. THE MONZA INCIDENT: I had red lipstick the night you won in Monza, you told me it looked pretty, I asked you to kiss me, you did. Fast forward 8 minutes it was all smudged over your lips, you were 10 minutes late to the post-race conference, and Sylvia almost banned me that night. (I’m still kind of banned from your driver’s room)

Taken by Charles Leclerc, 2019

4. UNDER THE COVERS: 2020, what a crazy year. This one was taken the day we decided to finish moving in together. You were so excited, wanted everything to be perfect. Today I can say it is.

Taken by Me, 2020

5. WORDS: We were spending Christmas by ourselves, we face-timed our families, had dinner and watched movies. You gifted me three beautiful words I, of course, said back… and we also got a puppy!

Taken by Charles’ phone timer, 2020

6. OCEAN BREZEE: Just a small escapade to take a breath. You were so cuddly that day, Joris was so done with you (he still took the pic though)

Taken by Joris Trouche, 2021

7. CUTE OR HOT: I just wanted a cute morning selfie but, because of you, we ended up in a…promising mood. It was intense that’s all I have to say!

Taken by Me, 2021

8. KISS KISS KISS: 24th birthday, 24 kisses. This kind of became a tradition, let me know if you still want them this year!

Taken by Me, 2021

9. DRUNK AF: How did we got so drunk? Ask Pierre, he was the one hosting. Either way we got another amazing photo of us drunk-kissing!!!

Taken by Pierre Gasly, 2021

10. UNDER THE SEA: I’m just going to say that you and your ‘photo ideas 📸’ folder are attached by the hip. I personally love this one (even if it took half an hour to take)

Taken by Joris Trouche, 2021

11. NEW YORK: Thought you could scape this one? Never! Arthur and I didn’t spend a week listening to your complaining for nothing, babe. You must admit that this kiss was magical, everything was so pretty that day. And then it started snowing!

Taken by Arthur Leclerc, 2021

12. EXPOSED: Remember how our amazing soft launch got ruined by our trip to Ibiza? Well, here it is, the image we couldn’t stop laughing at when it came out, we really thought we were sneaky.

Taken by unknown, 2022

13. HARD LAUNCH: A week later we were kissing on live TV. It’s one of my favorite memories, I couldn’t stop smiling.

Taken by F1 TV, 2022

14. BACK KISSES: Just a picture of the morning after I learned that you can convince anyone, even the CEO of Ferrari, to allow you to leave sponsor events early. I really don’t know if you knew those kisses were there, but I woke up to this, took a picture and then left you with them until we took a shower.

Taken by Me, 2022

15. SPONSORED BY AIRMAX: That time your team forgot to book us a flight and you had to ask Lando to ask Daniel to ask Max if we could go back to Monaco with them. I’ve never seen Max talk so much, Daniel laugh so loud or Lando taking so many pictures. He even asked to take one of us, here it is:

Taken by Lando Norris, 2022

16. SIXTEEN: I bet you thought this one would have something to do with racing. Number 16. Sorry to disappoint but it’s our beautiful puppy…Sixteen! I’m not gonna lie, I still hate you for persuading me into that name. Anyways if you kiss the dog you kiss the mom!!

Taken by Me, 2022

17. 25 KISSES: Again, tell me if you want those 26 kisses this year. Look at us last year!

Taken by Me, 2022

18. NEW YEAR, SAME LOVE: Sometimes the world feels unreal when I’m with you, this was one of those days. I felt in another reality, the world slowed down, it was just you and me. I remember thinking “I fell in love with the right person” and then you kissed me.

Taken by Joris Trouche, 2022

19. BLACK SUIT: Remember when your fans thanked me for your “new” outfits? They repeated it was the girlfriend effect, you couldn’t stop talking about how stylish you are with or without me!

Taken by Me, 2023

20. PHOTOSHOOT: You got Joris to take these shots just because you wanted a new wallpaper. I thought it was silly, until one day all of them were hanging around our home. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Charlie.

Taken by Joris Trouche, 2023

21. FIVE STAR CHEFS: Not much to say, just sorry for being so distracting and thank you for the amazing (stolen from Ferrari) dinner babe!

Taken by Charles’ phone timer, 2023

22. RED LIGHTS: This year’s addition to our drunk-kissing collection. I remember you drowning shots with Carlos and Pierre, asking me to dance with you, absolutely failing at that, and then kissing me. After that there’s blurry ferrari red, giggles and a hot bath.

Taken by Andrea Ferrari, 2023

23. LAZY IN BED: Wonderful lazy days by the ocean, that’s how we spent the summer break. That morning in particular you didn’t want to get up, basically gluing me to bed. We got up at 1pm.

Taken by Me, 2023

24. JUST ONE QUESTION: Can I drive the purosangue now? Please please please

Taken by Me, 2023

25. LOVER: This day I woke up thinking about those dreams we talk about all the time, you even remembered me a couple of them throughout the day. Charlie, I do want to do this for the rest of our lives, never forget it <3

Taken by Arthur Leclerc, 2023

26. TWENTY-SIX: We are just 26 but I hope our story keeps on writing itself. I love you, these have been the happiest 6 years of my life. Happy birthday bébé ❤️

Taken by Joris Trouche, 2023

[saintvainglorious]

Fics I Enjoyed in December - DC Comics Fic Rec List

Fell headfirst back into DC Comics for the first time in years this month. Reread some old favorites and discovered some new gems!

Heart, Humble by Betty (Mature, 8k, 2005) Jack Drake deals with finding out that Tim is Robin (poorly, and then not so poorly). THEE canon-accurate Jack Drake-focused fic of all time, this is canon in my heart.

Back then, all the boys his age had hero-worshipped costumed vigilantes. Jack supposes they still do.

Exit Strategy by smilebackwards/@smilebackwards (Teen & Up, 13k, 2021) Tim plans to leave a family he thinks he was never really a part of and decides to train Damian on how to run Wayne Enterprises before he goes. Delicious angst, excellent character work, and fun Wayne Enterprises worldbuilding.

Batman needs a Robin and Batman has a Robin. Tim is just extraneous now, vestigial. He’s a bandage over a healed wound. He doesn’t know what he’s hanging on to. Or: Tim didn’t expect his exit strategy from the Batfamily to involve quite so much bonding time with Damian over Wayne Enterprises bureaucracy.

On the Downbeat by husborth (Teen & Up, 2k, 2019) Bruce and Jason talk while waiting in line at a drive-thru (featuring Gotham-typical violence and husborth-typical gorgeous prose). I've always adored husborth's Star Wars fics and I'm so glad I dipped my toe into their DC works, no one's writing hits quite like husborth.

Jason has recovered his sanity, and Bruce and Jason have recovered their relationship; but there are some things that are hard to forget.

A Zoo for Canines by husborth (Mature, 45k, 2019) Part 2 of Zoology; Dick and Jason try to help Bruce recover from addiction. If you're used to fanon Dick Grayson (cheery, friendly, forgiving) you will not find him here - his anger and pain is ugly, raw, and so fucking captivating.

Dick, Bruce, and Jason head out to a cabin in the mountains, and they handle things about as well as they handle anything.

All the Roofs of Uncertainty by Kieron_ODuibhir/@kieron-oduibhir (General Audiences, 70k, 2015) Dick almost dies and makes Jason promise to take care of the family for him. A masterclass demonstration on how DC fic can square all the wildly divergent canon versions of Jason Todd into a single compelling character.

For all the blood on his hands, Red Hood was never just a villain. And Nightwing never gives up on family, not for good. (Or: The one where Dick bleeds a lot and Jason argues with everybody.)

The Till-Then From the Ever-Since by Kieron_ODuibhir/@kieron-oduibhir (General Audiences, 85k (WIP), 2020) Kid versions of the whole Batfamily mysteriously time travel to the future! I livetexted a friend the whole time I read this so I could yell about how amazing the character writing is; also I'm wildly impressed with how the author deftly handles tons of dialogue-heavy scenes with like 12+ guys in it without anyone going unmentioned.

It began, or seemed to begin, with Jason. Usually that would have meant something in the order of fire and explosion and probably at least one gunshot wound, but for once (as Tim said, sourly), it wasn't actually Jason's fault.

only you will have stars that can laugh by silverwhittlingknife/@silverwhittlingknife (Teen & Up, 9k, 2022) Dick finds out Tim is alone on Christmas and invites him to Babs' Christmas party. Discovered silverwhittlingknife through their galaxy brained Dick & Tim meta essays, stayed for every single line of Chapter 2 ripping out my heart and roasting it over an open flame.

You coming over is possibly the only thing that’s gonna stop me from wanting to punch your dad in the face, Dick doesn’t say. My current Christmas Day plans are 1) pace around at home, and 2) try not to obsess about what Bruce is up to, so trust me, you’ll be an improvement, Dick doesn’t say. Tim's alone on Christmas Eve. Dick finds out, and fixes it.

nerve endings by silverwhittlingknife/@silverwhittlingknife (Teen & Up, 5k (WIP), 2024) Post-Catalina Flores, Dick, Tim, and Bruce go on a (canon-accurate) cruise and dance around their open wounds. This is a glorious example of "he WOULD fucking say that", Dick's voice is so canon-accurate that the angst is even more painful i cri

It's all right, even, to have a foreign hand pressing against his skin, testing him, testing his reactions. He keeps his breathing controlled. Just Tim, damn you, it’s just Tim, don’t fuck it up. Dick's on a cruise with Bruce and Tim. And he's fine. Mostly.

Red Letter Day by silverwhittlingknife/@silverwhittlingknife (Teen & Up, 42k (WIP), 2022) Dick is sure the cryptic scribble in his agenda refers to something he's supposed to do for Damian, but he can't remember what. Mostly about Tim and Dick s l o w l y mending the post-Damian rupture in their relationship, but the whole family is here and Jason, especially, is fucking hilarious.

Dick Grayson, stressed pseudo-parent to a preteen assassin, tries to solve the case of Damian’s Mysterious Wednesday. He never expected it to help him fix his relationship with Tim, too. (… Though only after everything fell apart first.)

Gonna Be A Better One (A Thousand Miles To Your Door) by Traincat/@traincat (Teen & Up, 18k, 2011) Tim and Kon keep dating even after Jack forces Tim to retire as Robin. I reread this fic annually and every time am delighted to rediscover how funny and heartwarming and squee-inducingly kind it is, pure Timkon perfection.

In which Tim quits being Robin, Kon refuses to quit Tim and Ma Kent is full of relationship advice.

last light in a darkened room by bigdamnher0/@bigdvmnhero (Not Rated, 6k, 2024) Tim finds a distressing video of Robin!Dick and wishes that things were different. The whole fic, particularly Tim manifesting a happy ending in the bathroom, is a gorgeously crafted tragedy such that you're left kind of awed at how thoroughly massacred your heart and soul are post-read.

Tuesday morning: a video was uploaded to one of the deep web black markets. The footage, shot on those grainy vintage camcorders. But Tim knew that boy in the thumbnail; his eyes had memorized him, the heft and shape and dazzle of him, imprinting like an afterimage. Or: a brother is a witness; there's your tragedy.

buy back the secrets by sundiscus/@vinelark (Teen & Up, 91k (WIP), 2024) Superboy rescues civilian Tim Drake before learning that Tim is Robin and shenanigans ensue. I spent my whole holiday vacation intermittently screaming at this fic while my family members looked on with vague concern this fic is ADORABLE and AGONIZING and PERFECT please and THANK YOU.

He takes a long, slow breath. Ignores the glares from the other students. “Superboy,” he murmurs. “It’s me. If you’re listening, I could use some help.” Or: 5 times Superboy saves Tim Drake, and one time Tim Drake saves Superboy.

[sweetluna20]

Paige Bueckers x makeup influencer (kind of like James Charles) and they do makeup on Paige (maybe do a q&a too) or review Christmas advent calendars in a YouTube video

advent calendar ❤️💚❤️💚

paige x reader

“HEYYY GUYSS!!! it’s me y/n and im here with my beautiful, amazing, talented girlfriend, the one ,the only PAIGEEEE BUECKERS!!”

“okay okay that’s enough” paige responds trying to calm both of you down. but that failed miserably causing you both to burst into laughter.

“anyways! today we’re going to open pr packages i’ve gotten from random companies. Oh! paige and i are going to do a Q&A so if anyone wants to ask some questions go for it!”

“just not too many.” paige adds, already seeing the comments flood in.

“okay the first package we have is from Laneige!” and the first question is for paige!” your voice caused paige’s ears to perk up.

“okay so the question is.. what is your favorite thing about me?”

you quickly look at paige and smiled before opening the package.

“umm.. i’d say my favorite thing about y/n is her personality and energy.” “on the internet she has an extroverted personality and a lot of energy, but i’m actuality she’s super shy and introverted. she has such a calm energy and a soothing voice. so i would say that’s my favorite thing about her.” paige stated with a smile with blush covering her cheeks.

you look down at the box, you have the brightest shade of pink on your face and the biggest smile.

“what’cha got there” paige asks looking over your shoulder.

“oh yes, so i have this really adorable laneige box filled with lip products. they have the cute lip balms and masks which are my favorite!” you try your best not to stutter, trying to ignore the warmth in your heart.

“aw you’re so cute” paige teases you

the comments flood in

“ooooo”

“y/n flustereddd”

“i feel so single rn 😭”

“paige come home the kids miss you”

you see that comment and your eye lit up.

“yea paige go home the kids miss you.” 

“people these days… jeez” you say shaking your head at the camera .

“alright alright open your packages, since i have to go home to my kids” 

by now you’ve opened 5 packages and paige has answered a couple of questions.

you reach for the next box.

your eyes bright up with joy and you have the biggest smile on your face.

“AHHH ITS AN ADVENT CALENDAR!!”

“i love these so much” you exclaimed

wait why?

“uh a comment is asking you why you love them” paige said trying to read it as fast as she could.

“omg yes! i love telling this story!”

“okay so this was back in 2021, paige and i were sophomores. at the time we’ve been going out together for around 3 months. so she took me to this really really nice restaurant in hartford. it was the end of november, like before we went on thanksgiving break. we both came with gifts, i got her a stuffed husky to bring on her trip to remember me.” you start giggling feeling your cheeks becoming more and more flustered.

“and um she got… got me an advent calendar. since we would barely see each other for the month of decmeber, she said that each day i open is a little gift from her.”

“it was my favorite thing in the world. each day i would open it and i would call nika telling her the little surprise i got.”

“ever since then i love getting advent calendars because they remind me of paige.” you smiled looking at the calendar in your lap.

without saying anything paige gave you a big hug and kiss.

“i love you so much” she tells you, with hearts in her eyes.

“i love you too.” 

(not my best work, but it’s a new concept for me so i’m trying my best) thank you for the great request 💜

stylist★: @heart4caitlin, @yannasuniverse, @patscorner, @pbno5, @st4rrzynight, @mrsarnold

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

The Boy Is Mine - Chapter One

Authors: @whatdoeseverybodywant & @paigereeder

Summary: Josh was at the tail-end of his marriage and has told himself he doesn’t want anything serious. He just isn’t a casual type of guy, and all his actions have consequences.

Pairing: Jey Uso x Female OC

****We do NOT give ANYONE permission to repost or copy our work and post it as their own, that goes for on here and any other site (this does not include reblogs on Tumblr)****

****We do NOT own any distinguishable public figures, celebrities, lyrics, places, institutions, or businesses. Only thing we own are our OCs and made up locations****

❤Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤

CAST PAGE!  

~Thursday- December 31st, 2021~

The base thumped as the sweaty drunken bodies bounced, slid, bumped, and gyrated against each other in one of the most popular clubs on arguably thee most popular night for the city… in the most popular city in the world for this day. New Year’s Day always brought those from all over the country to New York City for one reason or another; be it a Broadway Musical, the Macy’s Day Parade on the day itself, or one of the many festivities the night before…the city had plenty of stories to tell. Some of those stories would be amazing, some would not be described with the same sentiment. And…Unfortunately for some, New York City was no Vegas…and what happened there would most definitely not stay there.

Amina was dancing, for the first time in a long time she was carefree. A state that she didn’t reach often, especially if she wasn’t drinking. Her nerves were much too high to get drunk, that was a recipe for disaster. Before her big basketball games in High School and College her and her teammates had their traditions that got them through pre-game and game day nerves. That luxury wouldn’t be awarded this time, she was doing this on her own. No teammates to fall back on, and she was entering into a sport where they would chew her up and spit her out if she showed weakness or lack of skill. Oddly enough she had become cool with a couple of her female colleagues so when she was invited out for New Year’s Eve in New York City she gladly went. She threw on a short black cocktail dress and the red Swarovski Crystal Louboutin’s she got for Christmas, some black eyeliner, a couple coats of mascara and a red lip stain to tie it all together and left her hotel room with only a couple goals. Dancing and having fun, hopefully hold the nerves.

She didn’t have the chance to become too familiar with her male colleagues but the ones she was introduced this evening seemed pretty nice and welcoming so far. Dancing with a couple and having conversations with others, being socialable wasn’t as hard as it usually was for her. Granted she was being introduced by someone that already liked her and had even taken her under her wing as her ‘little sister’, was also a plus. But even still, she normally stuck to herself being slightly shy because a lot of people had the misconception that she was either stuck up, conceited, or a mean girl. She was no stranger to being bullied, so this atmosphere was definitely a change of pace, and she was trying.

One guy in particular lingered a little longer than everyone else that talked to her. Amina enjoyed talking to him and even picking his brain a bit since he had already been in the business a while. He was easy to talk to and offered his help in the future with navigating anything in the business. For some reason, this man was comforting and that led to finding out he was funny, and that led to finding out he wasn’t a terrible dancer, and that led to both being fully sober when Amina found out his lips were soft when the club showed the ball drop and the clock struck midnight.

₊˚ ‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵˚₊

“S-shit…” Amina’s mouth fell open as she panted out; she gripped onto the sheets.

“Fuck mama…you takin’ dis dick so good baby….”

Josh held onto her hips with his right hand as he hammered into her, using his left to grip and straighten her chin as he dipped his head to kiss her. The champagne on his tongue that he used to cheers at midnight, mingling with the sweet fruity flavors from her non-alcoholic drink on her tongue as the two tongues battled each other for dominance. He squeezed her chin to get her to submit to his lead, she uttered incoherent words against his lips. Pulling away from the kiss his thumb swiped across her red lipstick-stained lips, smudging it lightly. She choked on her moans when he picked up the pace. Her lust-filled eyes glanced down where their bodies joined before roaming over his entire being. Josh was consuming and attentive, rough yet tender, passionate, and his strokes were lethal. When his eyes met hers, his lips formed a small lopsided smile. 

Her sensuality all evening had enthralled him, being inside of her was satisfying in so many ways. Every touch she left was warm and intoxicating. Her aura…welcoming and soft, not what he had imagined. The hiss they both let out in unison when he first sank himself into her; she was a vocal lover and he was slowly consumed with the sounds he could evoke from her. As her hands roamed his abs and chest he found himself already becoming addicted to being in her presence and attention. Lowering his lips to hers, contentment filled him when they collided.

“Mm… this tight ass pussy…. this gon’ be my pussy now mama?” Josh groaned into her ear, nibbling on the lobe.

Amina couldn’t form the words to answer the way she wanted as he made his strokes shallow and hard, hitting her g-spot over and over. He sucked on her neck leaving behind splotchy love bites. She ground her hips up as she felt the tip of his dick nudging her cervix. Josh moved his hand from her hip and pressed down on her lower stomach, and he slowed his thrusts; he watched his dick slide in and out of her, it glistened in her juices as his ears filled with the sounds of her wetness. She shivered under his touch, eyes rolling into the back of her head as she came.

“I need words baby…” he removed his hand from her chin, tapping her lightly on the cheek with the tips of his fingers. 

“P-p-please…baby…You... ugh… you feel s’good…I can’ttt” Amina moans, squirming as he fucked her through her orgasm.

Josh moaned as Amina rolled them over. He propped his head on a pillow as he watched her slow wind in his lap, squeezing her own breasts as she started to bounce; a new sense of pleasure surging through her as her body started to climb towards another orgasm as she barely finished the first. His hands traversed her curves in an appreciative and exploratory manner. Grabbing Amina’s waist, he thrusted up into her as she threw her head back. Sitting up, Josh reached his left hand up and wrapped it around her throat, applying slight pressure. Sucking her right nipple into his mouth,swirling his tongue around it, his lust filled eyes met her hooded ones as he looked up at her when her head lulled back forward. Pushing his body up more on his right elbow he used his left hand that was around her neck to pull her lips hungrily to his. He bit on her bottom lip, squeezing her neck as her ass was clapping against his thighs.

“J-JOSH!!”

“That’s right baby…let the whole floor know who fuckin’ this pussy…”

Clenching her walls slightly Amina spun around and faced away from him with his dick still throbbing inside of her as he laid back with his arms behind his head watching her; he bit his lip. Holding onto his calves she started to bounce; he slapped her ass cheeks as they ricocheted off his pelvis, his eyes slightly mesmerized. He closed his eyes and licked his lips as his balls started to tighten as his orgasm built. Amina started to rock as she used her right hand to rub her own clit. Josh sat up and switched their positions; he reached and gripped behind her knees putting them in a full nelson.

“Mm fuck…you on birth control Amina? Fuck! Let me bust in you…”

Amina nodded her head adamantly as she moaned, picking up the speed of her right hand rubbing her clit; she was completely at his mercy. Josh bounced Amina on his dick as her moans strung together, echoing off the room's walls. She rubbed her left hand down her body to his balls, gently massaging them in her palm as she rhythmically squeezed her pussy walls around his throbbing dick. He picked up the pace, bouncing her fast and sloppy; her breasts bouncing.

“F-Fuck J-JOSH!!!!!” Amina screamed out, her walls clenching in steady pulses as she came.

“Shit Baby...” Josh grunted as he filled her with his cum, biting down on her shoulder as she swiveled her hips slowly, his dick twitched as his warm ropes coated her pussy; emptying himself.

Both were panting as they came down, Amina rested her head back on him. Josh slid his arms around her waist; she placed her hands gingerly on his as he kissed her temple.

~Friday- January 1st, 2022~

Amina stood under the hot water, the steam soothing her muscles that were already beginning to ache. It was the big New Years Day episode of Smackdown in New York City at thee Madison Square Garden, and it just so happened to be her debut as well. She had practiced with Mercedes a couple times the week leading up to this in between the house shows. Mercedes was an easy partner to work with and she was really sweet. Everyone had been so far. It was always good to see everyone outside of work so the party last night that Bianca and Kenneth through was helping with her nerves as well. Now, that was her opinion walking into the arena this afternoon. Her debut did not go the way they had rehearsed… it at all. She still bested Mercedes like she was supposed to, but some of the hits the other woman landed seemed to be fueled by something other than what had been there when they were practicing.

Finishing washing up and washing her hair quicker than she would if she was home, or hell even if she was at her hotel for the evening, but the arena’s locker room wasn’t the place to try and reflect what could have possibly happened Monday afternoon up until when her entrance music hit. Fans were familiar with her from her extremely brief two month run on NXT, one of the fastest if not the shortest NXT runs in history, and they actually received her really well on the main roster. The fans, the higher ups, production and the men congratulated her, which didn’t explain why she would probably be wearing more black spots than Cruella DeVille and a lot of the women were side eyeing her.

Reaching her arm out she grabbed her towel and wrapped it around herself, making sure it was secure before stepping out. She was wearing some shower shoes, so she grabbed her hair products and body wash then made her way out to the main locker room area. Charlotte looked up when she entered the room, but didn’t say anything; she just finished texting whoever she was texting before tossing her cellphone in her bag and exiting the room. She seen Pam glance her way then whisper something to Mercedes before she followed in Charlotte’s footsteps without a word. Amina threw her products in her duffel bag and took out her deodorant, she applied it quickly before throwing it in her bag as well before sighing.

“Ok…did I do something wrong to someone? Is this part of some hazing process?! Everyone was fine yesterday?!”

Mercedes chuckled under her breath as she took her items out of her own duffel to prepare for her own shower. She was far too busy gossiping prior to their segment. Pinning her hair up she grabbed her own shower products and towel and made her way to the shower area, that just so happened to have to pass Amina to get to.

“Yeah, everyone was probably fine before they knew you liked to sleep your way to the top. I don’t knock annnnnnyones hustle but…...no one is going to like the snobby brat that gets shit handed to her. And a little word of advice? Keep your legs closed to married men…” Mercedes smirked before using her shoulder to knock into Amina as she finished her walk to the showers.

Amina’s mouth fell open in shock. She glanced around the room, it was silent. The only one left in the room that she knew was Natalya, and her look was one of pity. Making her way over to the much younger girl, a slight frown on her face; she wrapped her arms around Amina.

“Try not to let it get to you. Some women just do not get along with certain other women. Sometimes its ‘cause they are a threat, or some real reason. Other times, unfortunately you can just exist and that will bother someone.” She pulled away and lowered her voice, whispering the last part. “Plus I think she has a thing for Josh…” Natalya finished, giving Amina a comforting shoulder squeeze and walking back over to her stuff.

Giving the room one more glance; no one daring to raise their eyes to her. Amina put on some lotion before slipping a thong and leggings on. Putting on a sports bra and zip-up hoodie, she took off her shower shoes and through on some Nike slides. Grabbing her duffle bag, she made a beeline out of the Arena. She heard a little shuffling right outside the door.

“I tried to catch you right after yo’ segment, but you must’a been bookin’ it to the locker room.”

Amina jumped at hearing Josh’s voice. She glanced at him for a second, she almost answered but then she realized that her frustrations and the entire problem….was him.

“What are you still doin’ here? Don’t you got a crew or somethin’ you travel wit’?” Amina said lowly making her way over to her rental that was thankfully tucked away in the talent parking underneath the arena, she did not need fans thinking the same things her co-workers were, or worse knowing that she did indeed sleep with a married man.

Josh moved to walk next to her, grabbing her duffle bag off her arm. She was about to protest but she didn’t want to make a scene, there were after all some crew members and other superstars down here. Luckily for her they weren’t any of those looking at her like a jezebel.

“Yeah, normally I travel wit’da fam but I wanted to catch up wit’chu…and I realize you ain’t even give ya boy ya number.”

“Oh…” she responded quietly.

They stopped when they made it to the Dodge Charger she had rented, popping open the trunk, she watched him put her bag in the trunk…but also his. She was about say something when he started talking first.

“We can stop at like two or three in the mornin’…if we do that we can wake up and only have to drive an hour or two after check out before we can check in at the next city…plus that will give us plenty of time to talk about why the girl I’m talkin’ to now is all short and dry when she was bubbly and talkative last night and this afternoon when I left her…”

He said it with a somewhat joking tone, but Amina knew without a doubt he was far from joking. Josh took the car keys from her shocked hands and went to open the passenger door for her. She looked at him and he gestured for her to get in, which she obliged before he shut the door after she climbed in. He jogged around to the driver's side and hopped in himself, waiting for them both to put on their seatbelts before starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot.

₊˚ ‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵˚₊

The two were silent until they hit the interstate. Amina didn’t know what to say to him, she wanted to go off, but she was too tired and too sore. The radio was the only thing heard for the first twenty minutes into their trip to the next city. A few moments after Josh’s GPS told him to get on the highway he cut the radio down.

“You good?”

Amina kissed her teeth. To her, that question was utterly stupid. She knew about wrestling; her grandfather enjoyed it when she was growing up. Knowledge of the sport to her, didn’t mean knowing the wrestler’s personal lives so how was she supposed to know this man was married? Yeah, he was attractive, but that did not mean she did a deep dive on every attractive man on the roster's marital status, no matter how few of them were attractive on the current rosters.

“I don’t speak in lip smacks and shit like that Amina…you gon’ need to use your words…closed mouths don’t get fed”

“Like you used your words to tell me you were married…not dating…MARRIED!…Maybe I should keep things closed…your little friend Mercedes made me aware that I should keep my legs closed to married men and not sleep my way to the top!” Amina started to fume as she angled her body to face him.

It was now Josh’s turn to smack his teeth. His knuckles on his left hand started to turn white as he gripped the steering wheel tighter.

“I don’t speak in lip smacks and shit like that Joshua…you gon’ need to use your words…” Amina mimicked him.

Josh didn’t say anything, he just nodded his head silently. The silence was becoming too much for Amina, and if he wasn’t going to explain himself, she would just cut her losses and go about her life with most of the people she seen daily disliking her. She could go to everyone that gave her a dirty look and explain that she didn’t know, but what would be the point…if they didn’t dislike her for thinking she was a home wrecker they would find something else to condemn her for. Leaning forward she turned the radio up, this would be a long little trip but once it was over they could go their separate ways.

There was a rest stop that was coming up and Josh took the turn off for it at the last second, causing Amina to hold onto the door.

“Man makes me a whore and wanna drive frivolously….”

“Cut that shit the fuck out…”

She wasn’t sure if it was the tone, or the overall seriousness of his posture…but she cut that shit the fuck out. Josh parked in an area that was farthest away from the actual building and took his seatbelt off, angling his body towards her.

“She said that shit to you?”

Of all the things he chose to comment on, it was the fact of what Mercedes said not what he had done.

“Does it fuckin’ matter that she said the shit to me?! YOU didn’t…”

“I ain’t say that dumbass shit to you ‘cause I know you ain’t fuckin’ yo’ way to the top… and you ain’t open yo’ legs to a married man. Well… not technically.”

“Pfft” Amina crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

Josh licked his lips and reached over the center console and knocked her arms loose.

“I’m fa’ real…I… well…I’m not divorced yet, but I’m separated. And yo ass talented as fuck… me and Big Uce was watchin’ some of yo’ matches at NXT…shit even watched yo’ college highlight reel. Hell, yo ass might got us beat on some of the shit yo’ lil ass can do. I don’t know what the hell her issue is, i caught the segment just as you made it to the ring, she probably was mad you cooked her ass. I even heard folks talkin’ bout you dawg walked her on the mic. So, you got mic skills this early in yo’ career too? You ‘bout to be pressure. Hell… I might have to get in bed wit’chu to get some tv time in a minute.” He joked, noticing her face still lacked any and all amusement. Amina rolled her eyes again and turned her head to look forward and out the front windshield. He reached over to firmly grabbed her chin, turning her to face him again gently. “Maaaan look at me when I’m talkin’ to you and fix ya face. I’m fa’ real. You don’t need me to push you no where… you goin’ places. But on the real…my marriage been over. It’s just…I guess we then got into a co-parenting routine and since we don’t live together, I ain’t press for a divorce. Plus, our sons is young, she ain’t even move out right away. I got a lil’ spot in Florida from back when we was doin’ the thunderdome, so I stayed there a little more. But now she found her a new crib and we explained to the boys somewhat. Man my family don’t even know for real, just Jon, Joe, and Joseph…not even Trin know right now. I’m private, don’t none of them people in there that I don’t talk to like dat know about all dat…”

He let her chin go when her face softened. Amina wanted to believe him, but in all honesty, she didn’t know him well enough to know if he was a liar. In her gut, she felt like he wouldn’t lie about that. Josh could tell by the look on her face she was conflicted.

“Look…we was vibin’. We had good conversation. You like a lot of shit that I do. You like sports, and….hell you interested in wrestling. And all that shit is important to me at this point in my life. I…I can’t offer you a relationship. Cause I don’t even know if I’ll ever want that again at this point. I don’t require much personally, but my lifestyle so different most won’t understand; you gon’ learn this shit ain’t for the weak. But, if you cool wit’ it… I want us to be able to kick it.”

“…I…I mean I guess we can kick it….not like I have many friend options now, I probably wouldn’t have anyways…besides….we just kickin’ it…it’s not like we gonna repeat last night where you tryna rearrange my insides.” Amina rolled her eyes again, sarcastically this time.

“You want me to talk to ‘em?…”

“Nah… it’s whatever. I’m used to it.” Amina sighed.

“You sure?”

“Yeah…I’m sure…”

“Aight… take out yo’ phone…”

“Why?” she raised her eyebrow at him.

“You know you walkin’ around wit’ a Utopia Box?” He asked, flicking his eyes between her legs than back at the well-lit building of the rest-stop.

“Thanks, I got it for my birthday…” she deadpanned. He was so random.

“Look up the best divorce lawyer in Atlanta….”

“Huh?…”

“Girl if you don’t want me to talk to ‘em… and the only thing stoppin’ me from gettin’ back in between yo’ legs is my divorce than I’m pickin’ one and I’ll call bright and early at eight on Monday mornin’…cause baby I’m a lot to handle and my sexual appetite high, so if you think you can put that good ass pussy on me and you gon’ fuck and duck me? You outta yo’ mind…respectfully. ”

Amina shoved him causing him to flinch towards the door, laughing. She side-eyed him for a minute before joining in with him in laughing. When their laughter died down his eyes got a little lower as he slowly blinked, moving in closer to her face.

“Ahmi, Can I kiss you?”

“Ahmi?” she looked at him with an expression he couldn’t decipher.

“I’on kno it’s like yo’ name but remixed…plus I’m sure you ain’t gon’ let me call you baby at work…” he smirked.

“It’s just no one has ever given me a nickname before…except my mama and my lala”

“That makes me special… and since I’m special…” he paused and licked his lips. “I’m gon’ ask again..can I kiss you?” his voice slightly huskier.

Biting her bottom lip for a second, before nodding her head slowly, he smiled closing the very short distance between them and pressed his lips softly to hers.

-Tuesday- February 14th 2022 ~

Atlanta, Georgia 

“Fuck!” Chantelle Dixon also known as Honey cried out as she finished counting all the money she had made for the night. “Five hundred?! This shit ain't enough,” she exclaimed, her voice dripping with irritation. She ran a hand through her curls, trying to shake off the disappointment in her chest. Valentine’s Day was normally a good day at the club, but this year, everyone seemed to be in a relationship or flat-out broke.  Honey scowled, stuffing the bills into her purse, not bothering to roll them.  She'd have to pull double shifts next week to make up for this disaster. Her mother was already doing doubles all week at the diner to make ends meet, and Honey had promised herself she wouldn't let her down.

“Honey! Request, room four!” a voice called out, breaking her moment of frustration. 

"Okay" she called back, irritation still present in her voice. She took a deep breath and looked at herself in the mirror, she forced a smile onto her face as she adjusted her sparkly top and reapplied her lip gloss. 

The walk from the dressing rooms to the private one wasn’t a long one. Honey knocked twice before entering, her practiced sultry gaze sweeping the dimly lit room. Her heart skipped a beat as she locked eyes with her client for the night. This man was FINE —caramel skin glowing under the soft light, muscles defined in a cut-off white Nike shirt. The Cuban link around his neck and wrist gleamed like a promise of something more. She prayed that this dance would give her just enough to keep the lights on for another month. 

She felt her panties dampen as he stuck his tongue out to lick his lips and the gleam of his grillz caught her attention. Honey swallowed hard, trying to regain her composure. This wasn't her first rodeo, but something about this man made her feel like a rookie all over again. She walked further into the room, hips swaying with each step as she felt his eyes on her. 

“Damn Ma’ you even prettier up close.”  He muttered licking his lips again as she walked closer to him. 

Honey felt her cheeks grow hot as his eyes roamed her body. “Thank you,” She said with a sultry smile just as the music started flowing through the room. “You don’t seem like the type to be alone on Valentine's Day.” She said just as she started gyrating her body to the music. 

“I’m usually not.” He chuckled, leaning back in the chair and getting comfortable, legs spreading open, so if she wanted to, she had room to dance up close. “This year jus’ a lil’ different” 

“Well, that's good for me right?” Honey winked, as she slid her hands up her body, keeping her eyes locked on his as she reached her clothed breast. Josh felt his mouth dry up as Honey started to toy with the silver buckle that held her top closed. “I get to have you all to myself.” He groaned as she finally undid the clasp and her breast spilled out. 

“Fuck” She heard him whisper and it made her smirk. Honey bit her lip and turned her back to him, rolling her hips in slow, hypnotic circles.  She bent her knees a little shaking her ass in his face, before standing up straight and slowly walking over to him. Honey straddled his lap, her hips undulating to the rhythm of the music. She could feel the heat radiating from his body, his breath hot on her neck as she leaned in close. His hands hovered near her waist, not touching, but she could sense his restraint. She ran her hands up his arms, loving the way his body shivered under her touch.

. “What’s your name?” 

“Josh” He answered immediately. His eyes dropped down to her exposed breast and he licked his lips. As she continued her dance. She could feel his arousal pressing against her, and it took all her self-control not to grind down harder. This was business, after all. But something about this man made her want to blur those lines. Josh's fingers twitched, yearning to touch her.  Honey noticed his struggle and leaned in close, her lips brushing his ear. “Remember, baby, no touching,” she purred, her voice low and sultry.

Josh groaned, his head falling back against the chair. “Damn, ma. You makin’ it real hard to follow the rules.”

Honey chuckled, a sound that sent shivers down Josh's spine. She continued her dance, her body moving in perfect sync with the music. Her hands trailed down her sides, over her hips, drawing his gaze to every curve. As the song faded out, Honey stood up slowly, her eyes never leaving Josh's. She could see the desire burning in his gaze, matching the heat she felt coursing through her own body. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was a professional who was used to maintaining emotional distance from her clients. But something about Josh was different and it intrigued her. 

“That's the end of our time, baby,” she said, her voice huskier than she intended, more turned on than she had ever been during a private dance.  Josh’s eyes widened as she bent down to grab her discarded top. 

“One more dance,” he said, grabbing his wallet and taking out a couple hundreds. Honey’s eyes widened. It was way more than necessary. “Please,” he begged and Honey felt herself nodding. 

“Okay,” She whispered, dropping her top back to the floor. As the next song started to play, Honey went back to her previous position, straddling Josh’s thighs. As Honey began to move again, she felt a shift in the atmosphere. The air between them crackled with electricity, and she found herself getting lost in Josh's intense gaze. His hands, still hovering near her waist, trembled with the effort of restraint.

She quietly grabbed his hand and placed it on her waist. She would deal with the consequences from her boss later. Josh let out a choked curse as his hands came in contact with Honey’s soft skin. He brought his other hand up and gripped her hips. The music faded into the background as they lost themselves in each other. Honey's hands slid up Josh's chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath her palms. She leaned in, her forehead resting against his, their breaths mingling in the scant space between them. Somehow the dance had turned into downright dry humping. 

Honey's hips moved in slow, sensual circles, her body responding to Josh's touch in a way she'd never experienced before. She could feel the heat of his skin through the thin fabric of his shirt, his fingers digging into her flesh making her moan softly. 

“What’s yo name?” He asked and Honey knew he was asking for her real name. 

“Chantelle.” She whispered, moaning as Josh began rocking her hips harder against his erection, biting his lip at her soft moans. 

“Chantelle,” Josh repeated softly, savoring the sound of her real name on his lips. “It suits you.” He said as he pulled her even closer, her bare breast now pressed up against his shirt. Chantelle felt herself getting lost in the moment, in the heat of Josh's touch and the intensity of his gaze. She knew she was crossing a line, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She had never crossed this line before, but something about this man was different. It felt natural to be this way with him. 

Chantelle’s fingers tangled in his hair as she closed the remaining distance between them, her lips brushing against his in a feather-light kiss. Josh groaned, one hand sliding up her back to cup the nape of her neck. He deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing the seam of her lips until she opened for him. The kiss was electric, setting every nerve ending in Chantelle's body on fire. She leaned her neck to the side as she trailed kisses up and down her neck. 

“What time yo’ shift over?” 

₊˚ ‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵˚₊

“Fu-fuck” Chantelle moaned out as Josh wrapped one of his hands around her neck, pinning her to the seat as he fucked all the thoughts out of her head. This was not how she pictured her night ending, folded up in the backseat of Josh’s car, eyes crossed, mouth hung open in pleasure while he dugged her out. She had one of her hands pressed up against the door and the other one was holding onto her breast, toying with her nipple. 

Josh's grip tightened as he thrust deeper, eliciting another breathy moan from Chantelle.  “So fuckin’ wet.” He mumbled, eyes locked onto where their bodies met, loving the way her pussy swallowed his dick whole.  Chantelle choked out another moan as he let go of her leg with his other hand and brought it down to her clit, rubbing it in tight circles.  “Pussy so fuckin’ tight, so fuckin’ good. You gon come fa’ me?”  He grunted out, eyebrows furrowed together as he started pounding into her. The car was definitely rocking but neither cared, given she was the last to leave the club and no other cars were in the parking lot. 

“Yes.. oh fuck!” Chantelle's body tensed as her climax hit her full force. Stars exploded behind her eyelids as she cried out Josh's name, her body trembling beneath him. Josh growled at the feeling of her pulsing around him, He shifted his grip, sliding one hand down to Chantelle's hip for better leverage while the other remained firmly around her throat. The new angle allowed him to hit even deeper, his cock brushing against her G-spot with every stroke. 

"Fuck, you feel so good," Josh groaned, his voice husky with desire. He leaned down, capturing Chantelle's lips in a searing kiss. Their tongues danced as he continued to thrust into her, swallowing her whimpers of pleasure.

Chantelle pressed her hands against his abs trying to push him away, tears welling in her eyes at how overstimulated she felt. Josh broke the kiss and moved his lips near Chantelle’s ear,  his lips brushing against it as he whispered huskily, "You can take it, baby. I know you can." His tongue flicked out, tracing the shell of her ear. 

“J-Josh!" she cried out, as her second orgasm hit outta nowhere, her fluids gushing out, wetting up him and his seats. 

Josh's rhythm faltered as Chantelle's second orgasm washed over him, her slick heat clenching around him like a vice. He groaned, burying his face in the crook of her neck as he fought to maintain control. The scent of her skin, a mix of sweat, and her flowery perfume filled his nostrils, driving him wild.

"Fuck, Chantelle," he panted, his hips snapping forward with increased urgency. He abruptly pulled out of her and grunted and he came. Chantelle gasped at the sudden emptiness, her body still trembling from her climax. She watched through heavy-lidded eyes as Josh stroked himself to completion, his release spilling onto her stomach and breast in hot spurts. Chantelle moaned at the feeling. 

"Damn, girl," Josh murmured, running his hands through his damp mullet after their breathing had returned to normal.  He reached into the pocket of one of the chairs in the backseat and handed her a pack of baby wipes. She eyed the wipes in his hand, wondering why he had them in his car. “Whatchu looking at them like that for?” 

“You uhh.. Do this often?” She asked as she took them and wiped his release off her stomach and breast. 

“What -Nah!” He chuckled. “I have kids and they be messy as hell. Can’t get in the ride with messy ass hands.” Chantelle giggled as she sat up and began putting her clothes back on. 

“Where’re my panties?” She asked looking around the car. She cursed and she peered into the front seat and saw them torn, hanging from his rearview mirror. “Sir what the hell.”

Josh chuckled as he pulled his briefs and cargo pants back over his hips. He grabbed them out of her hand. “Souniver” He winked and she scoffed. 

“I’m not getting in a Uber with no panties.” 

“Girl. You know imma take you home. I ain’t havin’ you in no stranger’s car.” Chantelle’s eyes widened. There was no way in hell he could see where she lived. Technically he was a stranger too.

"No, no, it's cool. I can just call my friend to come get me," Chantelle said quickly, fumbling for her phone.

Josh raised an eyebrow. "At 3 AM? C'mon, be forreal. I'll drop you off, it's no trouble." 

Fuck Chantelle thought as she tried to come up with a plan. Josh got out of the back seat and stretched his body before getting the the driver's seat and starting the car. He then picked his phone up from the cup holder – where he had placed it earlier and handed it to her. 

“Put yo’ address in” Still panicking, she quickly entered the only other address she knew by heart. She handed Josh back his phone and climbed into the passenger seat. As she settled into the seat, she quickly grabbed her phone and texted her best friend. She crossed her fingers as she waited for her response. 

To Bff4L : You up?  From Bff4L : yea whats wrong?  To Bff4L: I’ll explian when I get there. 

Chantelle relaxed in her seat as Josh started driving towards her best friend's house. The car ride was anything but silent. They pretty much got to know each other in the 30-minute drive. Chantelle had learned that he was 35, had two kids, and was an athlete. Which didn’t really surprise her. It was obvious he had money. 

Chantelle told him some things about her too. She told him she was 26, she was born and raised in Atlanta, and that she was an only child. He didn’t need to know anything else.  She let out a tiny sigh of relief as he pulled onto her friend's block. 

“Thank you,” Chantelle whispered as she looked over at him. Her heart pounded in her chest as their eyes locked. Josh smiled at her. He had taken his grillz out and his smile was even more captivating without them. Chantelle felt a flutter in her stomach. 

“It’s all good Telle.” 

“Nig– Telle?” Chantelle raised an eyebrow, not sure how to feel about the new nickname.

“What? You don’t like that? How bout boo, baby, sweetheart.. I can go on.” Josh teased playfully.

Chantelle scoffed and opened the car door. “Bye Josh” She rolled her eyes but couldn't hide the smile on her face as she shut the passenger door and started walking up the driveway towards the front door. 

“Bye Boo!” 

She flipped him off making him laugh.  She opened the front door and looked back to see Josh still sitting in his car, watching her with an amused grin. She shook her head and stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

“Is he the reason why I’m up at 3 a.m.?” 

Chantelle jumped and turned to face her best friend Dejah, who was leaving the kitchen with a bottle of water. 

“Shut up, you said you were up already,” Chantelle muttered as they walked into the living room and threw themselves onto the plush couch. Chantelle sighed as she leaned back into the couch and closed her eyes. 

“Bitch! Who the fuck was that?” 

Chantelle sighed with her eyes still closed, she answered, “That was Josh. We met at Blue Diamond earlier.” Dejah hummed and Chantelle opened her eyes to look at her. “What?” 

“Y’all met at the club?” when Chantelle nodded Dejah continued. “So how did you get in his car at three in the morning?” 

Chantelle groaned and covered her face. “Don’t judge me Dejah.” 

Dejah gasped and reached over to slap Chantelle on her arm. “Chantelle Rose! Did you sleep with him?” With her face still covered, Chantelle nodded, and Dejah hit her on her arm again. “What the hell friend! Why?!” 

“I don’t know,” Chantelle muttered, dropping her hands from her face and looking at her best friend. “It’s just – something about him is just different. You know I’ve never done nothing like this before. I tried to just be professional but girl, the way he looked at me I mean.” Chantelle paused and took a deep breath. “I been striping for years and have been stared at like a piece of meat by any and every man. But the way Josh looked at me, it was like he saw through all of that. Like he was seeing the real me, you know?” 

Dejah shook her head. “You a big girl so I’m not gonna berate you. All imma say is be careful.” Dejah said as a yawn escaped her mouth. “I’m going to bed. You already know the guest room is yours” 

“Thank you,” Chantelle muttered. Dejah gave her friend a tight-lipped smile before making up way out of the living room and up the steps to her bedroom. 

With a sigh, Chantelle stood from the couch and made her way to the guest room. She took a quick shower before changing into the pajamas she left there last time. As Chantelle climbed into bed, there was only one thing on her mind.. Josh. 

~ Wednesday- February 15th 2022 ~

It was around 10 am the next morning when Chantelle finally left Dejah’s house. As she was walking out the front door and to the MARTA bus stop a couple of blocks down. As she made it to the end of the driveway and semi-familiar white BMW pulled up to the curb. She paid it no mind and continued her walk to the bus stop. 

“I man, Ion mind chasing after you.” Chantelle stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to see Josh smiling at her as he leaned over to yell out the passenger window. 

"What are you doing here?" she asked, walking back towards the car, trying to keep her voice casual despite the flutter in her stomach.

Josh shrugged, his grin widening. “I came to see if you wanted to go to breakfast”  

Chantelle’s heart skipped a beat. He came to see me she thought as a smile crossed her face. She nodded and grabbed the handle of the car door, opening it. “I would love to.” 

₊˚ ‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵˚₊

“How you doin'? Uh, can I get triple hash browns scattered and covered? Six scrambled eggs with American cheese, two chocolate chip waffles, and a lemonade.” 

Chantelle’s eyes widened as his order kept growing and growing. After he was done he looked over at her, waiting for her to order. “Damn, I thought you were ordering for the both of us.” She chuckled before turning her attention to the waitress. “Can I just get the cheese and eggs with raisin toast please, with a glass of water?” The waitress nodded before taking their menus from them and walking away to put their order in.  

Raisin Toast? Josh thought That’s what Ami– he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She ended things with you. Stop thinking about her.  

They both lapsed into a comfortable silence, sneaking glances at each other before adverting their gazes. Chantelle felt herself blush when Josh caught her staring and smirked at her. 

“Can I just say that um, I never done.. Um, I never had uh, sex with a client before,” she admitted softly, glancing up at him through her lashes.

“I’m your client?” 

Chantelle nodded. “Yeah, you paid for a service and I provided that service, making you my client. But I don’t want you to think I’m some hoe or something, just sleeping with men who pay for dances.” 

“Telle.” Josh chuckled, cutting off her rambling. “I don’t think you a hoe. Promise” 

“Thanks,” she said softly, meeting his eyes. “I just... I don't usually do that kind of thing. There was just something about you…” She trailed off with a shrug and Josh’s smile dropped a little. He cleared his throat and sat back in his seat. 

“Look, I wanted to eat first but uh. I like you. I mean the sex was.” He paused and let out a slight chuckle. “The sex was good but I can’t go no further with you.” Chantelle’s face dropped. “I mean, I can’t give you a relationship or nothing. Like I’m always on the road and only here in the ATL for about two to three days out the week.” 

“Oh,” Chantelle said. She felt her heart sink, but she forced a small smile and nodded. "I understand," she said softly, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. "I appreciate your honesty."

Josh leaned forward, his gaze intense. “I don't want you to think I'm playin' you or nothin'. It's just... my life, it's complicated as hell right now and  I can't drag you into all that.”

Chantelle said nothing and Josh sighed just as the waitress came and sat their food down. Not in the mood to eat anymore, she asked the waitress for a to-go box. 

“Wait. Chantelle, you don’t have to leave.” 

“No, I think I should.” She said as she started putting her food in the container.” 

“Listen Uce, chill chill,” Josh said as she stood from the booth and started walking towards the exit. He stood too and grabbed her arm gently, stopping her from walking away from him. “We can be friends, can’t we? I-I got so much shit going on right now. I can’t be in a relationship.” 

Chantelle rolled her eyes. “Friends?” She deadpanned “You wanna be friends?” 

Josh nodded eagerly and held his hand out. “Yeah, You cool and we obviously vibe together. Leeme see ya’ phone.”  

Chantelle scrunched her face up but fished into her tote bag and handed him her phone anyway.

“Looks, here’s my number.” He said as he handed her phone back. She arched her eyebrow when she saw he had saved it under UceyJucey.  “Text me.”  

Chantelle bit her lip and nodded. “Okay.” She said just as she saw her Uber pull up in front of the restaurant. “I have to go.” 

Josh nodded. “Aight. Don’t forget to text me, Telle!” He called out to her as she was leaving the restaurant. He let out a loud sigh as he sat back down in the booth. He placed both his elbows on the table and placed his head in his hands. “Fuck.” He muttered and grabbed his phone out of his pocket, calling the one person who he knew he could talk to. 

“ Uce! I was starting to think I wasn’t gon hear from yo’ ass today.” 

“Jon,” Josh muttered. Jon’s smile immediately dropped at the seriousness in Josh’s voice.   “I fucked up.” 

😮‍💨 Welp! Here it is! the first chapter of my and @paigereeder 's collab. Let us know what you think? We love interacting with y’all… stay tuned… it’s going to get even more… interesting

🏷️: @trentybenty @nbanenefrmdao @mzv11 @southerngirl41 @yana3sworld

@uceyliyahh @harmshake @wooahmiri @xbriexx @misslackey

@biancasreign @ashykneee @claymoresofinfamy23 @geekinstilettos @sayyestoheav3nn

@bebesobrielo @amandairene88 @summerssoldierxx @christinabae @cyberdejos2

@pinkwithhearts @partypoison00 @msbigredmachine @alika-4466 @bossbitch-22

@jeyusos-girl @fearlesschimera @privateeyed95

[uconnwbbcrashout]

last winter break

chapter i: “this is the love that we won’t get right”

paige x azzi

word count: 3.1k

content: mentions of underage drinking (of which i do not condone), swearing, even more angst

chapter list: here

author’s notes: back with some more angst (as requested)! a couple things: for the sake of this fic, they get longer than just a few days off for winter break before they have to start playing again. also, reminder again that azzi’s high school is in minnesota (like 15 minutes away from paige’s).

oh, and things will get worse before they get better :) enjoy!

Winter 2020-2021

Azzi is no stranger to pain.

It’s more or less the price you pay when you decide to dedicate your life to basketball—physical injuries are basically a given. Granted, you never know what the extent of those injuries might be, but it’s essentially a guarantee that there will be something.

And Azzi has dealt with her fair share of physical injuries over the years—bloody cuts, bruised legs, shin splints, pulled muscles, sprained ankles. They’re annoying, for sure, but Azzi has mostly learned to deal with them, doesn’t see them as excuses for having an off game. She’s learned to fight through them.

Then, of course, there was her ACL and MCL tear last year.

That had been a different beast entirely. One that she was wholly unprepared for.

A sharp, stinging sensation radiating through her knee, unlike anything she’d ever experienced before.

Perhaps the hardest part of it all, though, was the mental toll it took on her.

Azzi’s learned that basketball is as much of a mind game as it is a physical sport. It takes resilience, an steady mental fortitude to endure all the challenges it throws at you—blocked shots, missed game-winning buckets, losses in a championship game. Azzi was used to that, had been building up her mental toughness since the first time someone stole the ball from her at recess in first grade.

Going through a major injury like that, though, left her in a prolonged state of turmoil. It took away basketball, one of the greatest constants in her life, and turned it into an impossibility. It kept her glued to a seat, to the bench, helpless to be at her teammates’ sides when they needed her most. It fabricated nightmares late at night, making her wonder if she’d ever get to play the game she loved again.

It was almost too much to bear.

So, yeah, Azzi’s been through it all—all sorts of physical injuries and all sorts of emotional anguish. Anything you can think of, really.

At least, that’s what she had thought.

The way Paige had shattered her heart, though? Had left her alone to try to stitch the pieces back together?

Well, that was certainly up there among the worst of it.

It’s the heaviest ache, the deepest sorrow permeating throughout her entire being. The type of feeling that leaves a person completely hollow, numb to the world around them.

It’s not something you move on from.

Not for a long time.

If ever.

And how could she, really, when Paige was everywhere around her?

Over a thousand miles away yet still fucking finding a way to sneak into everything she could see, everything she could hear, everything she could feel.

Paige was in the creaking park swings across the street. She was in the lingering scent of cologne on Azzi’s pillows. She was in the warmth of a late August sunset. She was in the drip of a melting ice cream cone at the state fair. She was in the rustle of the leaves in the fall. She was in the bounce of a basketball on hardwood. In the soft fabric of a well-worn tournament hoodie. In the unwrapped birthday presents shoved into her closet. In the laughter ringing out across the neighborhood. In the music thumping in her car. In the first snowfall cascading down from above. In the sparkle of lights on a Christmas tree. In the burning of her lungs against the frozen winter. In the empty space beside her, in the ground she walked, in the air she breathed.

In everything.

Azzi has tried to forget her. Honestly, she has.

But Paige hasn’t made it easy on her. Always so damn talkative and blowing up her phone with message after message, even though she was the one who ended things between them. Never seeming to understand that every text, every word reopens the stitches holding her wounded heart together.

Even basketball is hardly an escape, not something she can throw herself into now. Game after game being postponed or cancelled. Practices with her teammates few and far between, cloth masks and distance between them. And the ever-present reminder of Paige that comes with anything even remotely basketball-related.

Needless to say, these last few months have been literal hell.

In hindsight, she should’ve known that this was only just the beginning.

*****

Azzi steps back from the bathroom counter, screwing the cap to her mascara back on and giving herself a once-over in the mirror. It’s just a New Year’s Eve party, so her outfit isn’t anything too crazy—her St. John’s varsity letterman jacket, a pair of tighter-fitting jeans, and some new Air Force 1s that she got from her parents for Christmas. Hoop earrings and a simple chain around her neck. She pulls at the twin curls framing either side of her face before tightening the hair tie holding up the rest of her hair.

It'll have to do, she relents, slipping out of the bathroom and grabbing her lanyard before making a beeline for the front door. Her hand is on the doorknob, just about to rush out—

“Azzi Fudd, where is your winter coat?”

Azzi drops her forehead against the doorframe, sighing dramatically.

So close.

“Mom, it’s, like, a five-minute walk. I’ll be fine.”

She catches her mother throwing her arms up in exasperation in her periphery. “It’s 15 degrees outside, Azzi. Just put on a coat.”

“No, I said it’s fine,” she protests. “I don’t need—”

But her mom is already in front of her, pushing her puffer coat into her hands.

Azzi opens her mouth to respond, but she sees the challenging look in her mom’s eye and decides not to test her tonight. She quickly shrugs the coat on and rolls her eyes. “Fine. Whatever. Can I go now?”

Her mom smiles and steps backwards into the living room, lifting her hands in the air. “You’re free to go.”

Azzi nods and reaches for the doorknob a second time.

“Oh, actually, I forgot to tell you something,” her mom says from the couch.

“Oh my god,” Azzi mumbles, pivoting to face her mom again. There’s a suspicious glint in her eye that’s making Azzi feel uneasy. “What is it? I’m already supposed to be at Taylor’s house by now.”

Her mom smiles and takes a sip from her coffee mug. “Okay, one, it’s not my fault you’re late. And, two, I just wanted to let you know that I saw her the other day.” At Azzi’s blank expression, she continues, “Paige, I mean.”

Fuck.

Azzi hates the way her heart rate quickens, the way her mouth feels dry, the way her throat tightens. She tries to mask her initial shock with disinterest, pretending to pick at something on her fingernail. “Oh, really? That’s cool.”

The grin on her mother’s face tells her that she’s failing miserably.

“Yeah, we were both in line at the grocery store. She asked me about you.”

Azzi’s eyes widen and she pulls at the collar of her coat, suddenly feeling like she’s suffocating underneath all these layers of clothing. “Yeah?” she asks quietly. “What’d she say?”

Her mom gestures with the coffee mug in her hands, a wide smile still adorning her face. “Oh, you know. Just wondering how you are and where you’ve been.” She shrugs. “Said she missed you and was hoping that maybe she could see you over break.”

None of this is news to Azzi—she’s heard this all before in the endless string of texts she’s gotten from Paige since July.

Even still, her breath catches in her throat at her words.

She wants to see me.

God, but what does it matter, really? Paige made it very clear that this wasn’t going to work between them. And Azzi made it very clear that she couldn’t go back to just being friends with her.

That should be the end of it.

So why isn’t it?

Why do I still care that she thinks about me? Why do I care that she misses me?

Why can’t I just let it go?

“Azzi?”

Azzi blinks hard a few times and glances back up at her mom, flashing her a smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes. “Oh, yeah. That’s um—that’s great. Thanks for letting me know that.” She hooks her thumb over her shoulder towards the door. “I’m gonna go. For real now.”

“Be safe!” She hears her mom call before she slams the door shut behind her.

Azzi inhales raggedly, feels the sting of the cold night in her lungs, then releases her breath into a cloud in front of her.

I’m so fucked.

*****

It’s not the usual celebration this year. Normally, she’d be hanging out with her family, or perhaps Paige’s family, playing games and sharing smiles well into the night. Paige by her side, the warm press of her hand on her lower back, her laughter echoing off the walls of Azzi’s mind.

Obviously, nothing has gone to plan this year.

That’s why she finds herself here—in the basement of her friend Taylor’s house, sitting in a circle with the rest of her teammates. Half empty beer bottles are strewn across the floor and the midnight countdown sits abandoned on the TV.

With a warm buzz dulling her racing thoughts and the giggling of her teammates flowing through her ears, she thinks she likes this alternative, too.

It’s a welcome distraction from the chaos that her senior year has devolved into. Social distancing, cancelled basketball games, college decisions. Lost friends, new future teammates, empty spaces.

The breakup. The constant fight between anger and longing, between trying to move on and fantasizing about a life where everything just worked out.

She doesn’t have to think about any of it.

She’s hardly thought about Paige at all, actually. She hasn’t wondered what it would've been like to spend tonight with Paige instead. Hasn’t counted how many steps it would take her to get to Paige’s front door from here. Hasn’t even thought about the last time she counted down to midnight, the hungry look in Paige’s eyes, the way she pulled their bodies together and kissed her senseless, her breath caught in her throat and her hands wandering—

Okay, fine.

Maybe Paige crossed her mind once or twice.

Maybe she misses her. Just a little.

She’s still pissed at her for breaking her heart, though. And no amount of alcohol can make her completely forget that feeling.

*****

It’s well past midnight by the time Azzi finally makes her way home, probably at least 2 A.M. if she had to guess. Her parents are not going to be happy.

She’s sobered up a bit now, thoughts finally feeling a bit clearer in her head. The wind has picked up considerably, forcing Azzi to duck her head down into her coat and shove her hands into her pockets. She's suddenly glad that her mom had forced her to wear something warmer.

Just a few more blocks to go.

As Azzi approaches the corner ahead, her ears pick up on the sounds of distant chatter over the howling wind. Curious, she lifts her head up and settles her gaze upon the group ahead of her. A rambunctious bunch of people, probably around her own age.

She stops dead in her tracks.

Even with just the dim orange streetlight, Azzi doesn’t need to move closer to be sure—that lanky 5'11 frame is unmistakable.

Paige.

Azzi is frozen in time, completely entranced with the figure before her. She can barely see anything—can just make out blonde hair settled around broad shoulders and the strong line of a jaw—but it’s enough to capture all of her attention.

She isn’t sure how long she’s standing there, her mouth agape, before she realizes that the figure is moving towards her now, is calling out to her.

“Azzi? That you?”

Azzi snaps out of it then, the reality of the situation starting to unfold, and she’s spinning away and striding in the opposite direction before she can even think twice about it.

There are footsteps now, quickening, thumping louder in her ears.

“Azzi! Hey, slow down!”

The sound of snow crunching under sneakered feet.

“Yo, wait up!”

Azzi speeds up her pace.

“Azzi?”

The voice is clear now, merely a few feet behind her.

“Hey!”

Azzi steels herself for impact, tries to remind herself to keep her resolve.

A hand curls itself around her forearm and Azzi half expects to see a hole burned through her jacket when she looks down at it.

The hand is turning her now, spinning her to a stop right in front of icy blue eyes.

“Azzi,” Paige exhales, her breath rapidly coming out in puffs that disappear into the air. Her eyes are bright, her smile is wide, and Azzi’s heart aches. “Hey.”

She doesn’t look all that different from the last time Azzi saw her—it’s only been a few months, after all. Hair down, in a UConn sweatshirt, some sweatpants, and old basketball sneakers. That same stupid grin on her face, the one she reserves just for Azzi.

Against her will, Azzi’s body reacts instinctually, urging her to move closer into Paige’s space, and she has to use all of the strength she can muster to hold herself back.

“Hi,” Azzi whispers, biting her lip to stop herself from saying anything less than coherent.

“Hey,” Paige says again, her gaze still locked onto Azzi’s.

They stay like that, unmoving, for several long seconds.

Paige is still grasping onto her forearm, and Azzi clears her throat to get her attention.

Paige blinks and releases her hold on her arm, sheepishly glancing away. Maybe it’s just the cold, but Azzi swears she sees a pink tint spread its way across Paige’s face. “Sorry ‘bout that,” she mumbles. “It’s good to see you, Az.”

Azzi feels her resolve crack ever so slightly at the nickname, the ease at which it falls from Paige’s lips. She straightens her shoulders out and crosses her arms. “How you been, P?”

“Good. Real good.” Paige grins. “Love it at UConn. You watch any of our games?”

Azzi shrugs, aiming for indifference. Maybe she’s seen one or two.

Paige doesn’t need to know that.

Paige nods her head, shifting her balance from one foot to the other. She ducks her head a bit to catch Azzi’s eye. “You doin’ okay, too?”

“I’m fine,” she lies, rubbing her hands against her arms to try to keep herself warm.

Paige gives her a disbelieving look, her eyebrows furrowing in that familiar way. “You sure?”

“I’m fine, okay, P? I’m fine.” It comes out harsher than she means it to, and Paige brings her hands up in front of her.

“Okay, okay. I believe you.” She focuses her attention on the ground, cracking ice beneath the heel of her shoe.

A quiet moment. And then—

“I miss you.”

“Paige,” Azzi sighs.

“Listen, I know you decided on Maryland and all that, but you’d be so good at UConn, Az.”

“Paige, I don’t—”

“You were made to be there. You—you’re just perfect for the team, you know that? Just—"

“Paige—”

“—exactly what we need. I talked to Nika 'bout it. You could be that last piece, for real. And I’on wanna be the reason you turned it down—"

“Just stop! Okay?” Azzi brings up a hand in front of her, effectively silencing her. “I can’t fucking do this right now, Paige. I can’t.”

Paige takes a small step back, a canyon forming between them. Her voice is quiet when she says, “Just want what’s best for you, Azzi.”

A dam breaks open inside Azzi then, sending white-hot blood pumping through her veins.

“You think I can’t decide that for myself, P? First the breakup and now this. You think I don’t know what’s good for me?”

Paige’s eyes widen and she steps forward, waving her hands in front of her. “No, no. Didn’t mean it like that. I swear, I just—”

“Hey, P, you comin’?”

Azzi peers past Paige’s shoulder, squinting into the night to find the source of the voice—a smaller figure standing on the same corner Paige was just a few minutes ago.

“Hol’ up!” Paige yells back, but Azzi hardly hears her.

There’s something about the figure that looks so familiar, so much like something she’s seen before. Azzi’s wracking her brain, rewinding time, desperately searching for an answer as to who this could possibly be.

All she has to do is replay the last few minutes before it clicks.

It comes back to her in flashes then.

How could she have missed it? So caught up in a trance of Paige, Paige, Paige that she didn’t even recognize the scene that was in front of her—Paige, under the streetlight, standing tall. A woman, next to her, leaning into her space. Whispering in her ear. Laughing at one of her jokes. Grabbing onto her bicep. Trailing her fingers down her arm.

Azzi tastes bile rising in her throat. She nods her head toward the woman, eyes cold. “Who’s that?”

Paige looks between Azzi and the woman, her expression faltering. “Oh, she’s just someone I went to Hopkins with. I swear it’s not—I swear, it's nothin', Az.”

“It’s fine, Paige.”

“Nah, I’on even really know her that well. She’s the one comin’ onto me.”

Azzi scoffs. “You weren’t exactly pushing her away.”

“Azzi, look,” Paige pleads. “I know, I know, it looks bad. Like, so bad—"

“You know what?” Azzi cuts her off. “It doesn’t matter. There’s nothing here anymore. There’s no us, remember?” She backs up, putting some much-needed space between them.

“Azzi, please, come on. I promise there's nothin' there.”

But Azzi is already backing up, already knowing how this will end, already on her way out. “Do whatever you want, Paige. You’re free from me now.”

“Az—"

“Goodbye, P,” she calls over her shoulder, trudging back towards home.

Her mind is swirling now, distorting reality to the point that she can’t be sure of what she saw. Was Paige leaning in towards that woman, too? Was she laughing along with her? Was she brushing up against her side? Was she looking at her lips? Was she reaching out? Was she ghosting her fingers over her skin?

A thought occurs to her then: Paige is already moving on.

Or at least she’s thought about it.

And here I am, thinking she still cares about me.

She doesn’t let the tears fall, doesn’t let everything tumble out until she finally turns back onto her street.

And then it all floods in.

God, how could I be so stupid?

[mikufigureoftheday]

soo i submitted a show and tell a month or two back of my 2021 snow miku figma who i absolutely adore (and all the positive feedback was wonderful, i'm happy to see so many people like her too!!!) and since then i have not only fixed her pigtails (lmao) but christmas has been and gone and i decided to get a figure for myself :3 i went and picked up the 2023 snow miku figma since alongside 2021's snow miku she is my favourite design! and just ugh i love them they're so girl best friends to me im happy to see them happy and of course their rabbit yukines are best friends too! i hope i can pick up their respective nendoroids one day -w-

[maximoffcarter]

It'll be okay.

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x reader.

Warnings: Mentions of COVID.

Summary: Emily Prentiss was known to always taking care of her team, taking full responsibility of everything, taking the blame, making sure they were okay, etc. But, it was true that she never let anyone know the hard time she was having, that was until y/n entered her life.

A/n: This was requested by anon, and gotta say I dunno if this is even good but I wrote what I felt was right. It’s angst with comfort and fluff😌 I added some backstory cause why nooooot? I mostly based this on the first episode, and maybe after the season ends, I'll do a better one, but I believe this was good enough for now haha. Our baby really does need some comfort and a goddamn break🥹 I also did not proof read this, I never do until it's too late haha, so my apologies. Hope you guys enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻

*not my gif*

COVID had definitely taken a toll on the BAU, not only had the world stopped but a lot of things had happened then. People died, people left, the world entirely changed, and there was no stopping, no one could actually stop it. Emily Prentiss had tried to make it work, to make things a little easier as she tried to focus on her job every single day, drowning in paperwork, zoom meetings, not being able to freely do what they were so used on doing, it had been a hard year. Not only that, but the fact that her breakup had been so messy, but that was the least of all the other things she was going through. Emily thought it couldn’t have gone worse, but then y/n was very present in her life. It was funny the day where it all had gone down.

It was the end of the most painful and difficult year, 2021 was about to arrive, just a week for the so awaited new year. And it so happened that on Christmas day, Emily had gotten COVID. She was in complete denial of being sick, more so because she needed to work, and she also had nothing to help her with the undeniable symptoms; the unbearable headache and body ache, the obvious fever, the terrible cold that her body felt, the stupid and annoying coughing and the stupid stuffed nose. Yes, there was no denial she was sick, but of course she wouldn’t admit how bad it was. But that didn’t stop y/n from going into action and deciding to go to Emily. Emily had been on the phone with her a few hours earlier, and when y/n noticed how bad this had gotten, she couldn’t stop herself from getting everything she needed and off to Emily’s house she was.

“What…on earth are you doing h-here.” Emily was interrupted with a cough, her hand soon landing on her chest as she felt the horrible pain as she coughed.

“I’m here to take care of you. Go to the living room, need to keep our distance.” Y/n said softly as she adjusted her face mask, getting a bottle of spray out.

Emily furrowed her brows but went ahead to the living room, soon enough grabbing a face mask and turning back to look at y/n. “I’m fine, you don’t have to stay here.”

“Oh, but I do. We’re close to get the vaccine, I cannot have you stopping at the hospital just because you were too stubborn to accept that you’re really sick.” Y/n sprayed the whole area where Emily had just been, and then turned to look at her with a raised brow. “Okay, here’s what we’ll do. You stay in your room, I’ll sleep on the couch, you can only use your room and bathroom. I’ll be bringing you food and medication, already talked to a doctor. If we don’t see any progress, we’ll have to go to the hospital, which I hope, you’ll cooperate, Prentiss.”

Emily just stared at her, a bit surprised on how y/n had become so bossy, but she also couldn’t blame her, knowing perfectly well that she’d probably die on her own. “Got it. I will.”

Y/n nodded. “Good, now I’ll go disinfect your room first. You stay here while I do that, no touching anything anymore. Though, I will clean here too.”

Emily couldn’t help the small smile that spread through her face as she nodded, thankful that the face mask was covering it. “Got it boss.”

Y/n grinned softly as she nodded. “Good, I’ll be right back. Bed stuff?”

“Closet, second drawer, and the blankets are on top.”

Emily would be lying if she said she wasn’t happy to have y/n here. Ever since y/n joined the team, somehow, they had become inseparable, even if she tried to get her to work with the whole team, before she even thought about it, she was already saying that y/n would go with her, and of course, that didn’t go unnoticed by Tara, JJ and Penelope, but they never mentioned anything, even more when Emily ended up with a boyfriend. That of course till this day, Emily thought so much about how she had forced herself to actually like someone just so she wouldn’t feel so alone. But the one person she had actually wanted…had been y/n. And now having her here, willing to take care of her even if she knew there was a risk that she could get sick, it was everything for Emily.

Emily slowly opened her eyes as she heard her door opening. She looked up and smiled softly as she noticed y/n walking in with a tray of food. “Hey. Did I sleep a lot?”

Y/n looked at Emily and smiled, carefully putting the tray of food on the nightstand. “For like an hour and a half. It’s good that you’re sleeping.” She grabbed the thermometer and placed it on Emily’s forehead. She sighed relieved and offered a small smile. “It’s coming down, finally.”

Emily smiled. “And the headache is not as bad.”

“No, Prentiss. I will not leave, it’s good you’re getting better but no way I’m leaving in the next few days.” Y/n raised her brow as she placed back the thermometer in its place.

“I was not going to say anything about that.” Emily chuckled softly. “Just…thank you.” She smiled softly as she sat on her bed.

Y/n nodded softly. “You welcome.” She smiled as she looked at Emily. “So…I ordered some groceries for tomorrow, we’ll have our own Christmas celebration.”

Emily’s heart stopped for a moment, her eyes widening. “Oh my…tomorrow is Christmas! Y/n, you shouldn’t be here. I’m sure you have-“

“Ah, stop.” Y/n grinned softly. “I have nothing to do, and I wouldn’t want to spend my Christmas any differently. What better way to celebrate it than with a sick Emily Prentiss? Such a great gift.” She chuckled softly as she grabbed the tray and placed it on Emily’s legs.

Emily’s heart swelled as she stared at y/n, a small smile on her face. “If you say so.”

“I do say so.” Y/n smiled softly. “Eat that, I’ll bring your medication.”

Emily watched her leave and her smile widened even more. All these years, she had been taking care of herself, not letting anyone in because she knew how that’d end up. She had never liked to be taken care of, but she loved to make sure that her loved ones were always good taken care of. So now, y/n doing all of this…it made her realize that maybe, just maybe…she did feel the same way.

********************

Emily groaned softly as she stretched, slowly opening her eyes to the sound of a groan and then a small whisper. As she looked up, rubbing the sleep away from her eyes, she furrowed her brows as she noticed y/n moving a small table and placing it in the middle of the door. She tilted her head in curiosity as a small, silly smile spread across her face. “What are you doing?”

Y/n looked up at Emily and smiled, her cheeks turning slightly red. “Oh uh…moving a table?”

“And…leaving it right in the middle of the door?” Emily raised her brow.

“Okay don’t laugh but…I thought this could be a way for us to have Christmas lunch together.”

Emily’s face softened as she stared at her, her cheeks turning red and not for the fever. She grinned softly. “Charming.”

“I tend to be.” Y/n grinned softly. “Grab your chair and I’ll bring the food.”

Emily smiled softly and did just as she was told, grabbing the chair that was just might the closet and sitting down in front of the table. She smiled softly as y/n came back with a chair for herself and started brought Emily her plate already with food and her drink. They ate together and right after they talked about everything but work, laughing as they told old stories about themselves and even some stories with the team. Y/n was fascinated just listening to Emily talk, loving that she had chosen the idea of spending Christmas with her, and that Emily had allowed her to take care of her. As for Emily, even if she was tired, she was enjoying every moment she was spending with y/n. As she watched her talk, she kept wondering in her mind if she was right or she was wrong about her suspicions, smiling softly without even noticing.

Y/n furrowed her brows and tilted her head as she stared at Emily. “What?” She hugged a chuckle.

“What?” Emily snapped out of her trance. “Oh! No, nothing. I’m sorry.”

Y/n chuckled. “You should get back to bed and sleep, I’ll clean up and wake you up for your pills.”

“Wait!” Emily coughed, grabbing her glass of water, and taking a deep breath afterwards. “I uh…have a question.”

“Yes?”

Emily took a deep breath, feeling her body still pretty much aching and getting all warm. “Why are you doing this?”

Y/n furrowed her brows again. “I…because I didn’t want you to be alone, Em.”

“Is that the only reason?” Emily raised her brow, a small smile on her face.

Y/n tilted her head as she smiled shyly, looking down at her glass. “Well…I don’t wanna get fired after what I have to say.”

“Which is?”

“You’re a profiler, Em. Isn’t it obvious?” Y/n blushed slightly as she looked back at her. “I…care a lot about you. Which means…that I like you…a lot.” She whispered softly as she nibbled on her lip.

Emily smiled softly as she nodded, tilting her head. “And you’re also a profiler, y/n. Isn’t it obvious?”

Y/n’s eyes widened slightly as she stared at Emily. “Wait…are you serious?”

“If I wasn’t sick and this table wasn’t in the middle of us, I’d be kissing you right now.” Emily smirked softly.

Y/n’s lips parted slightly as she stared at Emily, a soft smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Is the fever making you talk?”

Emily laughed softly, coughing afterwards, and placing her hand on her chest. “No, no…I’m…I’m serious.” She smiled.

“We’re gonna check back once you’re not sick.” Y/n grinned. “But for now…this could be considered our first date.”

“And I’d like to take you in a second date…next year.” Emily joking as she grinned.

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully. “You’re so funny, Prentiss. But I accept.” She smiled softly.

Emily laughed softly as she nodded, feeling her heart beating faster as y/n kept staring at her with that beautiful smile on her face. After all, there was something good out of this pandemic.

********************

It wasn’t new that y/n saw Emily drowning in work, not after all the changed that the BAU had over the years. Having JJ back had at least eased things, but Rossi losing his wife, not having Penelope around, a whole new case that fell into their lap, Bailey not helping at all, Emily was losing her mind. But once she had most of her team back, including Penelope, things didn’t seem to be so bad…until they were, again. Y/n always had her eyes on Emily, the entire time, they both had promised that their relationship wouldn’t interfere with work, it wouldn’t change the way they worked, and it also wouldn’t stop them, meaning that things would stay just like they were before. Of course, the team was now aware of their relationship, and they were happy that at least, there was something to look forward to -Penelope joking that she was already planning the wedding…they believed she was joking-.

But once the whole ‘Gold Star’ started, y/n noticed how Emily just kept getting home late, trying to drown herself in work and compensate for what had happened. She had tried her best to be there for her and let Emily know that it had not been her fault, and that she had done what she and the team had thought was right. Emily tried to hide everything that she was feeling to not let y/n and the team figure out that she was having a hard time, but y/n knew better, she could now see through Emily, but she also knew not to push her. Even if it killed her to know that Emily was having a hard time.

“Hey, so where��s Emily? Thought she’d be here.” JJ snapped y/n out of her trance, making her look up at her while JJ offered a small smile.

“Oh…she had uh…she had something to do.” Y/n tried her best to smile but they knew better.

“Work, huh? She feels…guilty about Bailey?” Tara asked as she turned to look at y/n.

Y/n sighed softly as she nodded. “I don’t know what to do.”

“We know Emily. There’s not much we can do if she doesn’t want to talk.” Tara said softly as she placed her hand on y/n’s shoulder.

“But I’m her girlfriend. I mean…I should at least…I don’t know. Try harder?” Y/n shrugged. “I just want Emily to know that I’m here…”

JJ sighed softly. “Well, I’m sure she knows, she’s just…trying to deal with her stuff.”

Y/n nodded softly as she looked back at JJ, smiling softly. She felt her phone vibrating and got it out of her pocket, furrowing her brows as she saw Emily’s text. Soon enough she was saying goodbye to everyone and then heading back to the office. It felt a little weird to be here so late, the whole office was silent and almost dark, Emily’s office was the only one that had its light on. Y/n took a deep breath as she noticed Emily walking around her office and then stopping by the window. She wanted to support her in every possible way, but she was also afraid that Emily was overworking herself and that didn’t sit right with her. She slowly walked to Emily’s office and leaned against the doorframe, trying her best to smile as Emily turned to look at her.

“Hey you.” Y/n smiled softly.

Emily offered a smile in return. “I’m sorry I made you leave Penelope’s birthday.”

“I was going to anyway.” Y/n shrugged. “What’s going on?”

Emily sighed softly. “We need to talk.”

Y/n felt her heart drop for a moment as she stared at Emily. She could only nod, not trusting her voice as she felt her body slightly trembling as she waited for Emily to say anything at all, but instead, she walked to y/n, grabbed her hand, and kissed it softly, offering a smile as she pulled y/n with her. Soon enough, they were on the ceiling, Emily had sat down and had pulled out a box of cigarettes, catching y/n off guard for a moment, but also keeping in mind how incredibly hot it was to see her smoke. Seriously, y/n…not the time. She crossed her arms and listened to everything Emily had to say, and again, she felt helpless as she listened to Emily, wanting nothing more than to be able to fix all this with a snap of her finger and be able to take Emily anywhere so she could relax.

“Well, you’ve been doing your homework.” Y/n teased as she walked closer to Emily and grabbed the cigarette putting it in her mouth before she returned it to Emily.

Emily scoffed. “Well…we need to get to the end of this.”

Y/n nodded, sighing softly, and looked away for a moment. “So…you think he’s government trained or something?”

“He’s definitely too proficient to be self-taught.”

“And that’s why they’re keeping it a secret.” Y/n tilted her head as she looked back at Emily. “I know that you’ve been overprotective after what happened…but we need to let the team know about this. You know that working together, we’ll get it done.”

Emily sighed softly as she nodded. “I know.” She nibbled on her lip for a moment as she looked at y/n. “Baby…I need you to promise me that whatever we do here, I need you to be safe. We see what he does…what has happened so far. I cannot…” her voice cracked for a moment, looking down at the floor as she put back the cigarette in her mouth.

Y/n sighed softly as she walked to Emily, positioning herself in between her legs and placing her hands on her cheeks, tilting her head up so their eyes locked. “I will promise you that if you promise me the same.” She smiled softly. “Em, I need you to take a break too. You’ve barely been home, you’ve barely been sleeping. I will make the promise if you promise me you’ll also take care of yourself.”

Emily took a deep breath, moving her free hand to y/n’s hips, offering a small smile. “Alright. I will.”

Y/n smiled softly as she leaned down to kiss Emily’s forehead. “You’re stubborn, Prentiss. If I don’t take care of you, you won’t.”

“That’s why I have you. Couldn’t have it any other way.” Emily chuckled softly, leaning up slightly to kiss her lips while she put out the cigarette.

Y/n smiled against her lips. “I know I should be forbidding you from smoking but…did you know you look extremely hot smoking?”

Emily chuckled softly as she wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her closer. “No but thank you.” She grinned.

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully and then leaned down to kiss her lips again. “Let’s go call Garcia.”

********************

Y/n could only stare at Emily while everyone else talking, giving their thoughts about the video they had just watched. she couldn’t really concentrate on what they were even talking about, part of her was trying to comprehend everything, work with them, say anything at all, but her mind was entirely focused on Emily. The moment Rossi and Emily had walked into the office, she could tell that there was something wrong with Emily; the way she stared at them, the way she talked, her eyes seemed…lost. She tried to keep up with everything, every now and then feeling JJ’s eyes on her, even Tara’s, but her eyes were only focused on Emily.

“Em?” Y/n asked softly as they all left the room, walking to Emily and taking her hand. “Are you alright?”

Emily looked back at her and furrowed her brows. “Yes. Why are you asking?”

Y/n tilted her head slightly as she raised her brow. “That was not nothing. What you and Rossi saw…and you…you don’t look okay.”

Emily shrugged. “It’s part of the job, isn’t it?”

Y/n sighed softly. “Emily, I-“

“Right now, we need to focus on this case. We might have something important here. I know I promised, but we also promised we wouldn’t change the way we work here. Right now, we’re at work, and we need to focus on that.” Emily said softly but firmly, not wanting to sound rude or harsh, but the way she looked at y/n, with stress and frustration, made y/n’s insides turn.

Y/n nodded softly as she let go of Emily’s hand. “Right.”

Emily only nodded before she left, leaving y/n standing there, not knowing what to do or say. She knew working together wouldn’t be the easiest thing ever, but she couldn’t help it, and Emily couldn’t blame her for worrying. Y/n had stayed behind with JJ at the office, she had tried to brush it off and focus on their main task. But again, once they came back, y/n noticed it again, she noticed the way Emily rubbed her temple and went straight to her office. She didn’t say anything, she stayed with JJ as she let Emily have a minute. She was right, they had made it clear things wouldn’t change, and so far, it had worked out, and she was not about to stress Emily more.

********************

Y/n closed the door behind her and sighed softly as she locked it, standing there staring at it as she took a deep breath before she turned to walk to their room. Emily was already sitting on the bed, taking off her shoes. Y/n said nothing, walking to the bed and also sitting down and doing the same as Emily. Silence surrounded them for a moment for a while, y/n knew it was stupid that Emily’s words had hit her the way they did, but she couldn’t help it, she knew that if it was the other way around, Emily wouldn’t drop it until y/n accepted that Emily was right, but in this case, which was not even an option.

But then she heard a soft groan coming from Emily, and as she turned, she noticed Emily’s head in her hands, and y/n was back to feeling worried. She stood up slowly and walked around the bed, kneeling right in front of Emily, and positioning herself in between her legs, her hands on top of Emily’s as she leaned her head against Emily’s.

“Em…” Y/n whispered softly.

“I’m exhausted.” Emily breathed out, her voice cracking slightly. “I don’t know what’s going on, nothing seems right, everything seems to be against us, to be against me. It’s like they want me to resign so badly, they want…they want the BAU to disappear. I don’t know what they want from me, I cannot just drop this, not after everything we’ve been through.” She said quietly as she felt her eyes getting teary, not being able to look up at y/n. “They’re making us get involved with a fucking serial killer. What has gotten into their minds?! What are they hiding?!”

Y/n wrapped her arms around her, only being able to hold Emily tightly as she started sobbing. Emily knew that she was overworking herself, that she was doing too much, she was obsessing too much, but there was no chance to back down, she couldn’t just let it happen, she couldn’t let them win. But she felt so…heavy. Everything hurt, her head felt like exploding, her chest felt heavy, she had felt the usual anxiety creep in her body, she felt worse than she had years ago. She sobbed quietly as she felt y/n tightening her embrace, Emily suddenly wrapping her arms around y/n’s neck, feeling bad for the weird position they were in, but needing y/n to hold her so badly, she’d worry about the position later.

“I can’t just drop this.” Emily whispered as she buried her face on y/n’s neck, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“I know. And we won’t drop it. I’ll be by your side.” Y/n whispered softly.

“I’m sorry I’m so stubborn…”

Y/n shook her head, smiling softly as she turned to kiss the side of her head. “But you’re mine. You can be as stubborn as you want.”

Emily chuckled softly as she pulled away, looking into y/n’s eyes. “I’m sorry that I’ve been drowning myself in this case.”

Y/n sighed softly. “I don’t blame you, Emily.” She rubbed Emily’s back softly as she leaned in and kissed her forehead. “I just don’t want you falling sick for so much stress. I don’t want you to get stuck in this to the point where you can’t notice that you’re putting everything and you’re putting yourself in danger.” She said softly as she looked into Emily’s eyes. “I’m just worried about you.”

Emily nodded as she let out a shaky breath. “I know. I won’t keep anything else from you, I promise. And…I’ll come to you when it’s too much.”

Y/n nodded as she smiled. “Em…baby, look at me.” She ran her fingers through her hair as Emily locked her eyes on hers. “I’m here for you, no matter what. The good and the bad, you’re not a burden to me, okay? I love you. And you’re not alone.”

Emily’s eyes filled with tears as her face softened, her body slightly trembling as she finally gave up and let tiredness take over her. She took a deep shaky breath, nodding her head as more tears rolled down her cheeks. Y/n rapidly wrapped her into another tight hug, letting Emily bury her face on her neck and sob as much as she needed. They stayed like that for a while, y/n rubbing her back and whispering sweet nothings while Emily cried. It was becoming too much, and Emily knew this wasn’t even the half of it and there was so much more to come, but for now, for now she had y/n, she was present in this moment. Y/n gave her the space to break and make her feel like she deserved to have this sort of moment even if they still made her feel weak, but she knew her lover would never judge her, not like she had been judged before. After a moment, she finally felt like she had gotten everything out, slowly moving back but resting her forehead against y/n’s, not wanting to be away.

“Thank you…” Emily whispered softly.

“Why are you thanking me?”

“Because you always take care of me even if you don’t have to.” Emily smiled through her tears.

Y/n smiled softly pulling away just enough to wipe her tears and stroke her cheek. “And I’ll be here to do it over and over again. If I risked my life with COVID, why not now?” She grinned a little.

Emily rolled her eyes playfully. “Well, it kept you in my apartment for a whole month. Not my fault you were so eager to kiss me.” She teased back.

Y/n gasped softly. “In my defense, you were supposed to be out of risk, and also, I couldn’t help it when I had you right in front of me. We had become girlfriends, and I hadn’t even kissed you yet.”

“That’s true.” Emily chuckled softly as she leaned in and kissed her forehead. “And I got to take care of you.”

Y/n nodded. “We’ve got each other’s back. You take care of me, and I take care of you.” She smiled softly.

Emily smiled and nodded softly. “Yes.” She rested her forehead against y/n’s once again. “I love you.”

“And I love you.” Y/n smiled softly and sighed softly as she closed her eyes for a moment. After a while, she moved to kiss Emily’s nose and offer another smile. “C’mon, let’s take a bath together. I’ll bring some wine and snacks.”

Emily smiled softly and nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

Y/n nodded before she got up, but as she was about to leave, Emily pulled her back to her, making her turn back to Emily who was now standing. “Yes?”

Emily smiled softly as she shook her head. “Nothing.” She placed her hand on y/n’s neck and brought their lips together into a tender kiss. “I love you.” She whispered softly against her lips.

Y/n giggled. “I love you too.” She whispered back and kissed her lips one more time before she walked out of the room.

Emily knew there was still a very long way, she had no idea what they were getting into, a lot of stress was coming their way, but she knew that as soon as she walked into their house, she’d be able to leave that stress behind at least for a while. This little bubble they had created for themselves was everything to Emily, and what got her to keep going. And that was all she needed.

[gaytommykinard]

decided to make a little masterlist of all my bucktommy christmas-themed fics since i wrote more than i had planned (which was one. one fic. i only had the baking fic planned since october. god help me)

you’ll see me like you’ve never seen me yet 

baker!buck au (s3 canon divergence), enemies to lovers; 4.5k words; rated T

The SoCal Annual Charity Christmas Bake Off is a big deal for Evan Buckley. He first participated in 2021, a year after he'd opened Buck's Bakes, and he's secured 6 victories across the different categories so far, and he's proud of that. Last year, however, he only managed a single win.

Because that was the year Tommy Kinard had shown up and swept his victories away.

say, what's in this drink?

drunk tommy at the madney christmas party (ignoring canon); 1k words; rated T

Evan leans down, nudging his nose against Tommy’s before kissing him softly, palm against his cheek. “You’re adorable.”

Tommy meets his gaze and his heart starts doing backflips in his chest. “Hey, that’s my line.”

my true love sent to me 

12 days of gifts, getting back together (post 8x06 fix it); 1k words; rated T

The first package is delivered to Harbor Station on Christmas Day.

and all of you i will hold

in which they get high & get back together (fix it fic); 3k words; rated E

When he swings the door open and gets a look at the person standing behind it, he forgets how to breathe altogether. 

“Hey,” Tommy says softly. “Can we talk?”

Buck’s eyes grow wide. “I think my edible just kicked in.”