#back from samoa | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rhysdarbinizedarby · 1 year ago

Text

Couch surfer in his 30s. Oscar winner in his 40s. Why the whole world wants Taika

**Notes: This is very long post!**

Good Weekend

In his 30s, he was sleeping on couches. By his 40s, he’d directed a Kiwi classic, taken a Marvel movie to billion-dollar success, and won an Oscar. Meet Taika Waititi, king of the oddball – and one of New Zealand’s most original creative exports.

Taika Waititi: “Be a nice person and live a good life. And just don’t be an arsehole.”

The good news? Taika Waititi is still alive. I wasn’t sure. The screen we were speaking through jolted savagely a few minutes ago, with a cacophonous bang and a confused yelp, then radio silence. Now the Kiwi filmmaker is back, grinning like a loon: “I just broke the f---ing table, bro!”

Come again? “I just smashed this f---ing table and glass flew everywhere. It’s one of those old annoying colonial tables. It goes like this – see that?” Waititi says, holding up a folding furniture leg. “I hit the mechanism and it wasn’t locked. Anyway …”

I’m glad he’s fine. The stuff he’s been saying from his London hotel room could incur biblical wrath. We’re talking about his latest project, Next Goal Wins, a movie about the American Samoa soccer team’s quest to score a solitary goal, 10 years after suffering the worst loss in the game’s international history – a 31-0 ignominy to Australia – but our chat strays into spirituality, then faith, then religion.

“I don’t personally believe in a big guy sitting on a cloud judging everyone, but that’s just me,” Waititi says, deadpan. “Because I’m a grown-up.”

This is the way his interview answers often unfold. Waititi addresses your topic – dogma turns good people bad, he says, yet belief itself is worth lauding – but bookends every response with a conspiratorial nudge, wink, joke or poke. “Regardless of whether it’s some guy living on a cloud, or some other deity that you’ve made up – and they’re all made up – the message across the board is the same, and it’s important: Be a nice person, and live a good life. And just don’t be an arsehole!”

Not being an arsehole seems to have served Waititi, 48, well. Once a national treasure and indie darling (through the quirky tenderness of his breakout New Zealand films Boy in 2010 and Hunt for the Wilderpeople in 2016), Waititi then became a star of both the global box office (through his 2017 entry into the Marvel Universe, Thor: Ragnarok, which grossed more than $1.3 billion worldwide) and then the Academy Awards (winning the 2020 best adapted screenplay Oscar for his subversive Holocaust dramedy JoJo Rabbit, in which he played an imaginary Hitler).

Waititi playing Adolf Hitler in the 2019 movie JoJo Rabbit. (Alamy)

A handsome devil with undeniable roguish charm, Waititi also slid seamlessly into style-icon status (attending this year’s Met Gala shirtless, in a floor-length gunmetal-grey Atelier Prabal Gurung wrap coat, with pendulous pearl necklaces), as well as becoming his own brand (releasing an eponymous line of canned coffee drinks) and bona fide Hollywood A-lister (he was introduced to his second wife, British singer Rita Ora, by actor Robert Pattinson at a barbecue).

Putting that platform to use, Waititi is an Indigenous pioneer and mentor, too, co-creating the critically acclaimed TV series Reservation Dogs, while co-founding the Piki Films production company, committed to promoting the next generation of storytellers – a mission that might sound all weighty and worthy, yet Waititi’s new wave of First Nations work is never earnest, always mixing hurt with heart and howling humour.

Waititi with wife Rita Ora at the 2023 Met Gala in May. (Getty Images)

Makes sense. Waititi is a byproduct of “the weirdest coupling ever” – his late Maori father from the Te Whanau-a-Apanui tribe was an artist, farmer and “Satan’s Slaves” bikie gang founder, while his Wellington schoolteacher mum descended from Russian Jews, although he’s not devout about her faith. (“No, I don’t practise,” he confirms. “I’m just good at everything, straight away.”)

He’s remained loyally tethered to his origin story, too – and to a cadre of creative Kiwi mates, including actors Jemaine Clement and Rhys Darby – never forgetting that not long before the actor/writer/producer/director was an industry maven, he was a penniless painter/photographer/ musician/comedian.

With no set title and no fixed address, he’s seemingly happy to be everything, everywhere (to everyone) all at once. “‘The universe’ is bandied around a lot these days, but I do believe in the kind of connective tissue of the universe, and the energy that – scientifically – we are made up of a bunch of atoms that are bouncing around off each other, and some of the atoms are just squished together a bit tighter than others,” he says, smiling. “We’re all made of the same stardust, and that’s pretty special.”

-----------------------------------------------

We’ve caught Waititi in a somewhat relaxed moment, right before the screen actors’ and media artists’ strike ends. He’s sensitive to the struggle but doesn’t deny enjoying the break. “I spent a lot of time thinking about writing, and not writing, and having a nice holiday,” he tells Good Weekend. “Honestly, it was a good chance just to recombobulate.”

Waititi, at right, with Hunt for the Wilderpeople actors, from left, Sam Neill, Rhys Darby and Julian Dennison. (Getty Images)

It’s mid-October, and he’s just headed to Paris to watch his beloved All Blacks in the Rugby World Cup. He’s deeply obsessed with the game, and sport in general. “Humans spend all of our time knowing what’s going to happen with our day. There’s no surprises any more. We’ve become quite stagnant. And I think that’s why people love sport, because of the air of unpredictability,” he says. “It’s the last great arena entertainment.”

The main filmic touchstone for Next Goal Wins (which premieres in Australian cinemas on New Year’s Day) would be Cool Runnings (1993), the unlikely true story of a Jamaican bobsled team, but Waititi also draws from genre classics such as Any Given Sunday and Rocky, sampling trusted tropes like the musical training montage. (His best one is set to Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears.)

Filming in Hawaii was an uplifting experience for the self-described Polynesian Jew. “It wasn’t about death, or people being cruel to each other. Thematically, it was this simple idea, of getting a small win, and winning the game wasn’t even their goal – their goal was to get a goal,” he says. “It was a really sweet backbone.”

Waititi understands this because, growing up, he was as much an athlete as a nerd, fooling around with softball and soccer before discovering rugby league, then union. “There’s something about doing exercise when you don’t know you’re doing exercise,” he enthuses. “It’s all about the fun of throwing a ball around and trying to achieve something together.” (Whenever Waititi is in Auckland he joins his mates in a long-running weekend game of touch rugby. “And then throughout the week I work out every day. Obviously. I mean, look at me.”)

Auckland is where his kids live, too, so he spends as much time there as possible. Waititi met his first wife, producer Chelsea Winstanley, on the set of Boy in 2010, and they had two daughters, Matewa Kiritapu, 8, and his firstborn, Te Kainga O’Te Hinekahu, 11. (The latter is a derivative of his grandmother’s name, but he jokes with American friends that it means “Resurrection of Tupac” or “Mazda RX7″) Waititi and Winstanley split in about 2018, and he married the pop star Ora in 2022.

He offers a novel method for balancing work with parenthood … “Look, you just abandon them, and know that the experience will make them harder individuals later on in life. And it’s their problem,” he says. “I’m going to give them all of the things that they need, and I’m going to leave behind a decent bank account for their therapy, and they will be just like me, and the cycle will continue.”

Jokes aside – I think he’s joking – school holidays are always his, and he brings the girls onto the set of every movie he makes. “They know enough not to get in the way or touch anything that looks like it could kill you, and they know to be respectful and quiet when they need to. But they’re just very comfortable around filmmakers, which I’m really happy about, because eventually I hope they will get into the industry. One more year,” he laughs, “then they can leave school and come work for Dad.”

Theirs is certainly a different childhood than his. Growing up, he was a product of two worlds. His given names, for instance, were based on his appearance at birth: “Taika David” if he looked Maori (after his Maori grandfather) and “David Taika” if he looked Pakeha (after his white grandfather). His parents split when he was five, so he bounced between his dad’s place in Waihau Bay, where he went by the surname Waititi, and his mum, eight hours drive away in Wellington, where he went by Cohen (the last name on his birth certificate and passport).

Waititi was precocious, even charismatic. His mother Robin once told Radio New Zealand that people always wanted to know him, even as an infant: “I’d be on a bus with him, and he was that kind of baby who smiled at people, and next thing you know they’re saying, ‘Can I hold your baby?’ He’s always been a charmer to the public eye.”

He describes himself as a cool, sporty, good-looking nerd, raised on whatever pop culture screened on the two TV channels New Zealand offered in the early 1980s, from M*A*S*H and Taxi to Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson. He was well-read, too. When punished by his mum, he would likely be forced to analyse a set of William Blake poems.

He puts on a whimpering voice to describe their finances – “We didn’t have much monneeey” – explaining how his mum spent her days in the classroom but also worked in pubs, where he would sit sipping a raspberry lemonade, doodling drawings and writing stories. She took in ironing and cleaned houses; he would help out, learning valuable lessons he imparts to his kids. “And to random people who come to my house,” he says. “I’ll say, ‘Here’s a novel idea, wash this dish,’ but people don’t know how to do anything these days.”

“Every single character I’ve ever written has been based on someone I’ve known or met or a story I’ve stolen from someone.” - Taika Waititi

He loved entertaining others, clearly, but also himself, recording little improvised radio plays on a tape deck – his own offbeat versions of ET and Indiana Jones and Star Wars. “Great free stuff where you don’t have any idea what the story is as you’re doing it,” he says. “You’re just sort of making it up and enjoying the freedom of playing god in this world where you can make people and characters do whatever you want.”

His other sphere of influence lay in Raukokore, the tiny town where his father lived. Although Boy is not autobiographical, it’s deeply personal insofar as it’s filmed in the house where he grew up, and where he lived a life similar to that portrayed in the story, surrounded by his recurring archetypes: warm grandmothers and worldly kids; staunch, stoic mums; and silly, stunted men. “Every single character I’ve ever written has been based on someone I’ve known or met,” he says, “or a story I’ve stolen from someone.”

He grew to love drawing and painting, obsessed early on with reproducing the Sistine Chapel. During a 2011 TED Talk on creativity, Waititi describes his odd subject matter, from swastikas and fawns to a picture of an old lady going for a walk … upon a sword … with Robocop. “My father was an outsider artist, even though he wouldn’t know what that meant,” Waititi told the audience in Doha. “I love the naive. I love people who can see things through an innocent viewpoint. It’s inspiring.”

After winning Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award for JoJo Rabbit in 2020. (Getty Images)

It was an interesting time in New Zealand, too – a coming-of-age decade in which the Maori were rediscovering their culture. His area was poor, “but only financially,” he says. “It’s very rich in terms of the people and the culture.” He learned kapa haka – the songs, dances and chants performed by competing tribes at cultural events, or to honour people at funerals and graduations – weddings, parties, anything. “Man, any excuse,” he explains. “A big part of doing them is to uplift your spirits.”

Photography was a passion, so I ask what he shot. “Just my penis. I sent them to people, but we didn’t have phones, so I would print them out, post them. One of the first dick pics,” he says. Actually, his lens was trained on regular people. He watches us still – in airports, restaurants. “Other times late at night, from a tree. Whatever it takes to get the story. You know that.”

He went to the Wellington state school Onslow College and did plays like Androcles and the Lion, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and The Crucible. His crew of arty students eventually ended up on stage at Bats Theatre in the city, where they would perform haphazard comedy shows for years.

“Taika was always rebellious and wild in his comedy, which I loved,” says his high school mate Jackie van Beek, who became a longtime collaborator, including working with Waititi on a Tourism New Zealand campaign this year. “I remember he went through a phase of turning up in bars around town wearing wigs, and you’d try and sit down and have a drink with him but he’d be doing some weird character that would invariably turn up in some show down the track.”

He met more like-minded peers at Victoria University, including Jemaine Clement (who’d later become co-creator of Flight of the Conchords). During a 2019 chat with actor Elijah Wood, Waititi describes he and Clement clocking one another from opposite sides of the library one day: a pair of Maoris experiencing hate at first sight, based on a mutual suspicion of cultural appropriation. (Clement was wearing a traditional tapa cloth Samoan shirt, and Waititi was like: “This motherf---er’s not Samoan.” Meanwhile, Waititi was wearing a Rastafarian beanie, and Clement was like, “This motherf---er’s not Jamaican.”)

With Jemaine Clement in 2014. (Getty Images)

But they eventually bonded over Blackadder and Fawlty Towers, and especially Kenny Everett, and did comedy shows together everywhere from Edinburgh to Melbourne. Waititi was almost itinerant, spending months at a time busking, or living in a commune in Berlin. He acted in a few small films, and then – while playing a stripper on a bad TV show – realised he wanted to try life behind the camera. “I became tired of being told what to do and ordered around,” he told Wellington’s Dominion Post in 2004. “I remember sitting around in the green room in my G-string thinking, ‘Why am I doing this? Just helping someone else to realise their dream.’ ”

He did two strong short films, then directed his first feature – Eagle vs Shark (2007) – when he was 32. He brought his mates along (Clement, starring with Waititi’s then-girlfriend Loren Horsley), setting something of a pattern in his career: hiring friends instead of constantly navigating new working relationships. “If you look at things I’m doing,” he tells me, “there’s always a few common denominators.”

Sam Neill says Waititi is the exemplar of a new New Zealand humour. “The basis of it is this: we’re just a little bit crap at things.”

This gang of collaborators shares a common Kiwi vibe, too, which his longtime friend, actor Rhys Darby, once coined “the comedy of the mundane”. Their new TV show, Our Flag Means Death, for example, leans heavily into the mundanity of pirate life – what happens on those long days at sea when the crew aren’t unsheathing swords from scabbards or burying treasure.

Waititi plays pirate captain Blackbeard, centre, in Our Flag Means Death, with Rhys Darby, left, and Rory Kinnear. (Google Images)

Sam Neill, who first met Waititi when starring in Hunt for the Wilderpeople, says Waititi is the exemplar of a new New Zealand humour. “And I think the basis of it is this,” says Neill. “We’re just a little bit crap at things, and that in itself is funny.” After all, Neill asks, what is What We Do in The Shadows (2014) if not a film (then later a TV show) about a bunch of vampires who are pretty crap at being vampires, living in a pretty crappy house, not quite getting busted by crappy local cops? “New Zealand often gets named as the least corrupt country in the world, and I think it’s just that we would be pretty crap at being corrupt,” Neill says. “We don’t have the capacity for it.”

Waititi’s whimsy also spurns the dominant on-screen oeuvre of his homeland – the so-called “cinema of unease” exemplified by the brutality of Once Were Warriors (1994) and the emotional peril of The Piano (1993). Waititi still explores pathos and pain, but through laughter and weirdness. “Taika feels to me like an antidote to that dark aspect, and a gift somehow,” Neill says. “And I’m grateful for that.”

-----------------------------------------------

Something happened to Taika Waititi when he was about 11 – something he doesn’t go into with Good Weekend, but which he considered a betrayal by the adults in his life. He mentioned it only recently – not the moment itself, but the lesson he learnt: “That you cannot and must not rely on grown-ups to help you – you’re basically in the world alone, and you’re gonna die alone, and you’ve just gotta make it all for yourself,” he told Irish podcast host James Brown. “I basically never forgave people in positions of responsibility.”

What does that mean in his work? First, his finest films tend to reflect the clarity of mind possessed by children, and the unseen worlds they create – fantasies conjured up as a way to understand or overcome. (His mum once summed up the main message of Boy: “The unconditional love you get from your children, and how many of us waste that, and don’t know what we’ve got.”)

Second, he’s suited to movie-making – “Russian roulette with art” – because he’s drawn to disruptive force and chaos. And that in turn produces creative defiance: allowing him to reinvigorate the Marvel Universe by making superheroes fallible, or tell a Holocaust story by making fun of Hitler. “Whenever I have to deal with someone who’s a boss, or in charge, I challenge them,” he told Brown, “and I really do take whatever they say with a pinch of salt.”

It’s no surprise then that Waititi was comfortable leaping from independent films to the vast complexity of Hollywood blockbusters. He loves the challenge of coordinating a thousand interlocking parts, requiring an army of experts in vocations as diverse as construction, sound, art, performance and logistics. “I delegate a lot,” he says, “and share the load with a lot of people.”

“This is a cool concept, being able to afford whatever I want, as opposed to sleeping on couches until I was 35.” - Taika Waititi

But the buck stops with him. Time magazine named Waititi one of its Most Influential 100 People of 2022. “You can tell that a film was made by Taika Waititi the same way you can tell a piece was painted by Picasso,” wrote Sacha Baron Cohen. Compassionate but comic. Satirical but watchable. Rockstar but auteur. “Actually, sorry, but this guy’s really starting to piss me off,” Cohen concluded. “Can someone else write this piece?”

Directing Chris Hemsworth in 2017 in Thor: Ragnarok, which grossed more than $1.3 billion at the box office. (Alamy)

I’m curious to know how he stays grounded amid such adulation. Coming into the game late, he says, helped immensely. After all, Waititi was 40 by the time he left New Zealand to do Thor: Ragnarok. “If you let things go to your head, then it means you’ve struggled to find out who you are,” he says. “But I’ve always felt very comfortable with who I am.” Hollywood access and acclaim – and the pay cheques – don’t erase memories of poverty, either. “It’s more like, ‘Oh, this is a cool concept, being able to afford whatever I want, as opposed to sleeping on couches until I was 35.’ ” Small towns and strong tribes keep him in check, too. “You know you can’t piss around and be a fool, because you’re going to embarrass your family,” he says. “Hasn’t stopped me, though.”

Sam Neill says there was never any doubt Waititi would be able to steer a major movie with energy and imagination. “It’s no accident that the whole world wants Taika,” he says. “But his seductiveness comes with its own dangers. You can spread yourself a bit thin. The temptation will be to do more, more, more. That’ll be interesting to watch.”

Indeed, I find myself vicariously stressed out over the list of potential projects in Waititi’s future. A Roald Dahl animated series for Netflix. An Apple TV show based on the 1981 film Time Bandits. A sequel to What We Do In The Shadows. A reboot of Flash Gordon. A gonzo horror comedy, The Auteur, starring Jude Law. Adapting a cult graphic novel, The Incal, as a feature. A streaming series based on the novel Interior Chinatown. A film based on a Kazuo Ishiguro bestseller. Plus bringing to life the wildly popular Akira comic books. Oh, and for good measure, a new instalment of Star Wars, which he’s already warned the world will be … different.

“It’s going to change things,” he told Good Morning America. “It’s going to change what you guys know and expect.”

Did I say I was stressed for Waititi? I meant physically sick.

“Well…” he qualifies, “some of those things I’m just producing, so I come up with an idea or someone comes to me with an idea, and I shape how ‘it’s this kind of show’ and ‘here’s how we can get it made.’ It’s easier for me to have a part in those things and feel like I’ve had a meaningful role in the creative process, but also not having to do what I’ve always done, which is trying to control everything.”

In the 2014 mockumentary horror film What We Do in the Shadows, which he co-directed with Jemaine Clement. (Alamy)

What about moving away from the niche New Zealand settings he represented so well in his early work? How does he stay connected to his roots? “I think you just need to know where you’re from,” he says, “and just don’t forget that.”

They certainly haven’t forgotten him.

Jasmin McSweeney sits in her office at the New Zealand Film Commission in Wellington, surrounded by promotional posters Waititi signed for her two decades ago, when she was tasked with promoting his nascent talent. Now the organisation’s marketing chief, she talks to me after visiting the heart of thriving “Wellywood”, overseeing the traditional karakia prayer on the set of a new movie starring Geoffrey Rush.

Waititi isn’t the first great Kiwi filmmaker – dual Oscar-winner Jane Campion and blockbuster king Peter Jackson come to mind – yet his particular ascendance, she says, has spurred unparalleled enthusiasm. “Taika gave everyone here confidence. He always says, ‘Don’t sit around waiting for people to say, you can do this.’ Just do it, because he just did it. That’s the Taika effect.”

-----------------------------------------------

Taika David Waititi is known for wearing everything from technicolour dreamcoats to pineapple print rompers, and today he’s wearing a roomy teal and white Isabel Marant jumper. The mohair garment has the same wispy frizz as his hair, which curls like a wave of grey steel wool, and connects with a shorn salty beard.

A stylish silver fox, it wouldn’t surprise anyone if he suddenly announced he was launching a fashion label. He’s definitely a commercial animal, to the point of directing television commercials for Coke and Amazon, along with a fabulous 2023 spot for Belvedere vodka starring Daniel Craig. He also joined forces with a beverage company in Finland (where “taika” means “magic”) to release his coffee drinks. Announcing the partnership on social media, he flagged that he would be doing more of this kind of stuff, too (“Soz not soz”).

Waititi has long been sick of reverent portrayals of Indigenous people talking to spirits.

There’s substance behind the swank. Fashion is a creative outlet but he’s also bought sewing machines in the past with the intention of designing and making clothes, and comes from a family of tailors. “I learnt how to sew a button on when I was very young,” he says. “I learnt how to fix holes or patches in your clothes, and darn things.”

And while he gallivants around the globe watching Wimbledon or modelling for Hermès at New York Fashion Week, all that glamour belies a depth of purpose, particularly when it comes to Indigenous representation.

There’s a moment in his new movie where a Samoan player realises that their Dutch coach, played by Michael Fassbender, is emotionally struggling, and he offers a lament for white people: “They need us.” I can’t help but think Waititi meant something more by that line – maybe that First Nations people have wisdom to offer if others will just listen?

“Weeelllll, a little bit …” he says – but from his intonation, and what he says next, I’m dead wrong. Waititi has long been sick of reverent portrayals of Indigenous people talking to kehua (spirits), or riding a ghost waka (phantom canoe), or playing a flute on a mountain. “Always the boring characters,” he says. “They’ve got no real contemporary relationship with the world, because they’re always living in the past in their spiritual ways.”

A scene from Next Goal Wins, filmed earlier this year. (Alamy)

He’s part of a vanguard consciously poking fun at those stereotypes. Another is the Navajo writer and director Billy Luther, who met Waititi at Sundance Film Festival back in 2003, along with Reservation Dogs co-creator Sterlin Harjo. “We were this group of outsiders trying to make films, when nobody was really biting,” says Luther. “It was a different time. The really cool thing about it now is we’re all working. We persevered. We didn’t give up. We slept on each other’s couches and hung out. It’s like family.”

Waititi has power now, and is known for using Indigenous interns wherever possible (“because there weren’t those opportunities when I was growing up”), making important introductions, offering feedback on scripts, and lending his name to projects through executive producer credits, too, which he did for Luther’s new feature film, Frybread Face and Me (2023).

He called Luther back from the set of Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) to offer advice on working with child actors – “Don’t box them into the characters you’ve created,” he said, “let them naturally figure it out on their own” – but it’s definitely harder to get Waititi on the phone these days. “He’s a little bitch,” Luther says, laughing. “Nah, there’s nothing like him. He’s a genius. You just knew he was going to be something. I just knew it. He’s my brother.“

I’ve been asked to explicitly avoid political questions in this interview, probably because Waititi tends to back so many causes, from child poverty and teenage suicide to a campaign protesting offshore gas and oil exploration near his tribal lands. But it’s hard to ignore his recent Instagram post, sharing a viral video about the Voice to Parliament referendum starring Indigenous Aussie rapper Adam Briggs. After all, we speak only two days after the proposal is defeated. “Yeah, sad to say but, Australia, you really shat the bed on that one,” Waititi says, pausing. “But go see my movie!”

About that movie – the early reviews aren’t great. IndieWire called it a misfire, too wrapped in its quirks to develop its arcs, with Waititi’s directorial voice drowning out his characters, while The Guardian called it “a shoddily made and strikingly unfunny attempt to tell an interesting story in an uninteresting way”. I want to know how he moves past that kind of criticism. “For a start, I never read reviews,” he says, concerned only with the opinion of people who paid for admission, never professional appraisals. “It’s not important to me. I know I’m good at what I do.”

Criticism that Indigenous concepts weren’t sufficiently explained in Next Goal Wins gets his back up a little, though. The film’s protagonist, Jaiyah Saelua, the first transgender football player in a FIFA World Cup qualifying match, is fa’afafine – an American Samoan identifier for someone with fluid genders – but there wasn’t much exposition of this concept in the film. “That’s not my job,” Waititi says. “It’s not a movie where I have to explain every facet of Samoan culture to an audience. Our job is to retain our culture, and present a story that’s inherently Polynesian, and if you don’t like it, you can go and watch any number of those other movies out there, 99 per cent of which are terrible.”

*notes: (there is video clip in the article)

Waititi sounds momentarily cranky, but he’s mostly unflappable and hilarious. He’s the kind of guy who prefers “Correctumundo bro!” to “Yes”. When our video connection is too laggy, he plays up to it by periodically pretending to be frozen, sitting perfectly still, mouth open, his big shifting eyeballs the only giveaway.

He’s at his best on set. Saelua sat next to him in Honolulu while filming the joyous soccer sequences. “He’s so chill. He just let the actors do their thing, giving them creative freedom, barely interjecting unless it was something important. His style matches the vibe of the Pacific people. We’re a very funny people. We like to laugh. He just fit perfectly.”

People do seem to love working alongside him, citing his ability to make productions fresh and unpredictable and funny. Chris Hemsworth once said that Waititi’s favourite gag is to “forget” that his microphone is switched on, so he can go on a pantomime rant for all to hear – usually about his disastrous Australian lead actor – only to “remember” that he’s wired and the whole crew is listening.

“I wouldn’t know about that, because I don’t listen to what other people say about anything – I’ve told you this,” Waititi says. “I just try to have fun when there’s time to have fun. And when you do that, and you bring people together, they’re more willing to go the extra mile for you, and they’re more willing to believe in the thing that you’re trying to do.”

Yes, he plays music between takes, and dances out of his director’s chair, but it’s really all about relaxing amid the immense pressure and intense privilege of making movies. “Do you know how hard it is just to get anything financed or green-lit, then getting a crew, getting producers to put all the pieces together, and then making it to set?” Waititi asks. “It’s a real gift, even to be working, and I feel like I have to remind people of that: enjoy this moment.”

Source: The Age

By: Konrad Marshall (December 1, 2023)

#rhys darby #taika waititi #next goal wins #our flag means death #hunt for the wilderpeople #interview

198 notes · View notes

gethooked · 1 year ago

Text

Babies first wrestling show ~ HOOK imagine

HOOK and reader bring their first child to see HOOK wrestle Samoa Joe for the title. And add Taz as a part of the story. - requested by @sunrise28sblog

It's wednesday, you know what that means. Dynamite day! It was also your son's first wrestling show! Tyler wanted you and your son to be there for his very first world championship match. You agreed because before you had your son you wrestled to but decided to give up wrestling and focus on your little family with Tyler.

You were excited because you missed your co-workers who became like your family over time. But you were mostly excited because it would be your son's first wrestling show ever. Tyler, Taz, your son, and you had got to the arena early so you guys could take pictures and have your son run around the ring since he has also been interested in wrestling. Just like his father and grandpa. After a while of your son running around the ring you decided that it was time to head backstage so the crew could finish setting up and that way you guys weren't in their way.

Once you got backstage you noticed The Lads, and ran up to them and gave them all big bear hugs. Last time you saw them was on long island. Your son decided that he wanted to walk around with his grandpa so you let him while you caught up with The Lads. Throughout the show your son would cheer for his favorites. It was tough for him during the Top Flight and Private Party match.

He loved Top Flight since they were basically his uncles. And loved Private Party because why not. Once it got to Tyler’s match your son got scared. He knew something was going to happen. But you told him that dad would be fine.

As Tyler came out your son was cheering the loudest he ever has for his dad. As the match started your son was smiling and cheering, “Let’s go dad, beat Joe’s ass!” your son would say. You were surprised but let it go and would tell him later on not to say that. As the match went on he got more worried for his dad but still watched hoping Tyler would pull through and win. Once Tyler hit his head you knew something was wrong but tried not to show due to your son being with you.

After the match and Tyler telling Joe to come back your son was so angry with his dad. Once he got back he ran to his dad and told him not to do that again. And Tyler would say why he was trying to prove a point. After reassuring your son he would go to medical to get checked out. After he left Taz came by and tried to distract his grandson because he knew he was worried about his dad.

He told him that his dad was a badass and not to worry about him. And that he got his badassery from his dad. (your son's grandpa). After a while he would fall asleep on Taz’s lap and Tyler would come get you and your son and take you guys back to the hotel. As he was putting your guy's son to bed he showed him all the bruises and scars he got and told him that they are his battle scars and that he would get them too when he’s older if he decided to wrestle.

After your son fell asleep, Tyler jumped in your guy's bed with you and right away you whispered to him “Don’t do that stupid shit again, you almost gave me a heart attack!” Tyler would say “I promise I won’t do it again.” But in reality he’s too stubborn to listen and would keep on proving how badass he really is.

Taglist: @99hook @carlybow

#hook aew #aew hook #hook #send hook #730 hook #aew hook imagine #hook imagine #aew hook x reader #hook aew imagine

149 notes · View notes

aimeedaisies · 3 days ago

Text

Aimee’s 2024 royal family engagement count: The final results!

Disclaimer; everyone’s counts will be different, people have different rules to their method of counting the Court Circular. It isn’t a definitive count and is done just for fun 💗

The court circular doesn’t record any work behind the scenes, only public engagements, official meetings and luncheons/dinners. It’s more a gauge of their public facing roles.

This year has been in no way easy in 2024, with health problems with HM The King and HRH The Princess of Wales, to the concussion accident with HRH The Princess Royal. Everyone banded together and the show went on! I cannot wait to see Catherine return to her duties next year 💗

👑 Princess Anne 👑

This year started off like any other year for the Princess Royal. She was the first royal to get back to work, on the 4th January. She and her husband, Sir Tim, were also the first royals to go on a royal tour in 2024, to Sri Lanka. Once she got back, the BRF as we knew it took a slight turn, the sad health announcements of the King and the Princess of Wales. HRH took it on the chin and did amazingly well, carrying on her royal duties being the true backbone of the British Monarchy.

Another blow to the royal family came in the last week of June. Buckingham Palace announced that Princess Anne suffered concussion after a blow to the head by a horse during a walk around the grounds of her home, Gatcombe Park. She was hospitalised for a week. She returned to work two weeks after her release from hospital, her first engagement back was equestrian related (very on brand imo). Shortly afterwards she left the UK and headed to Paris for the 2024 games, she spent 10 days in Paris attending IOC meetings and watching various games. The rest of the year went smoothly for the Princess Royal. She returned better and stronger than ever and has basically fulfilled her yearly quota of engagement 💪

Once again Princess Anne tops the chart as the hardest working royal, completing 437 engagements.

She has done 362 engagements in the UK.

She travelled to 10 different countries this year and did 75 engagements there. 🇱🇰🇳🇦🇦🇪🇨🇦🇳🇴🇫🇷🇫🇷🇳🇱🇫🇷🇮🇲

Dubbed by some as the unofficial Queen of Scots she did 56 in Scotland. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Out of a total of 40 investiture ceremonies held, Princess Anne held 27 🎖️

King Charles III

This has been a tough year for King Charles, but he has still managed to pull off a staggering number of engagements! In the second year of his reign King Charles did a grand total of 345

In the UK he did 294 engagements.

He travelled to different countries where he completed … engagements and did 5 full royal tours in Australia and Samoa. He also hosted a state visits for Japan and Qatar at Buckingham Palace. 🇫🇷🇯🇪🇬🇬🇦🇺🇼🇸

What is also worth mentioning is that he has Red Boxes that he has to go through every single day, except Christmas Day and Easter Sunday as well as a lot of work behind the scenes.

Out of a total of 40 investiture ceremonies held, King Charles held 5🎖️

Prince Edward, The Duke of Edinburgh

This year the Duke of Edinburgh turned 60 years old and he was bestowed the highest order in Scotland, the Order of the Thistle! He carried on his brilliant work with the Duke of Edinburgh award and travelling to visit international sections of the award. Prince Edward also visited a lot of theatre related organisations and youth centres and charities.

He completed 280 engagements this year and visited 9 countries on solo tours and with his wife. 🇿🇦🌋🏝️🇺🇬🇫🇷🇲🇨🇲🇹🇧🇭🇰🇼

Sophie, The Duchess of Edinburgh

In 2024 Sophie carried on her hard work in areas like women’s rights in disadvantaged areas, avoidable blindness, hygiene and agriculture. She did marvellous confidential visits to Ukraine and Chad, focusing her attention on women’s rights and the children’s safety of these war torn countries. She also maintained her strong work in the UK by visiting children’s charities, meeting mothers and standing for what is right.

She completed 232 engagements this year in the UK and the commonwealth and visited 10 countries on solo tours and with her husband. 🇫🇷🇺🇦🇮🇹🇩🇪🇯🇪🇫🇷🇹🇿🇲🇹🇹🇩

Prince Richard, The Duke of Gloucester

The Duke of Gloucester has this year completed 197 engagements in the UK.

He continued his long lasting work in heritage, architecture, the St John’s Ambulance and military organisations.

Hopefully next year we will see him do some overseas engagements. 🕯️

Queen Camilla

In the second year of her husbands reign, Queen Camilla carried out 171 engagements.

She visited 6 countries this year including accompanying her husband on official tours of Australia and Samoa where she did 40 engagements whilst on official tours. 🇮🇲🇫🇷🇯🇪🇬🇬🇦🇺🇼🇸

She focused a lot of her engagements this year on sectors close to her heart like women’s & children’s charities, osteoporosis care and animal welfare.

Prince William, The Prince of Wales

This year the Prince of Wales’ engagements slightly reduced due to his wife illnesses, understandably. He continued to carry out his important duties in areas like homelessness, mental health and conservation with Earthshot. In 2024 Prince William carried out 137 engagements in the UK and the Commonwealth.

Prince William travelled to 3 countries (France x2, Germany x3) where he did 21 engagements 🇫🇷��🇦🇩🇪

Out of a total of 40 investiture ceremonies held, Prince William held 8🎖️

Birgitte, The Duchess of Gloucester

The Duchess of Gloucester has this year completed 102 engagements in the UK. She continued her long lasting work in sports, the arts (Opera, Ballet, Acting etc…) and accompanying her husband to official engagements.

Vice Admiral Sir Tim Laurence

Although not an official working royal, Sir Tim often attends as a great support to his wife’s engagements as well as having his own non-royal patronages and interests. In 2024 he became the Chair of the Science Museum, the new patron of the Oban War and Peace Museum and will become the new President of Kent Cricket Club in January 2025.

He accompanied his wife to a total of 95 engagements, represented her 3 times and remembrance services and accompanied her to 48 engagements abroad in 4 countries. 🇱🇰🇨🇦🇫🇷🇳🇱

When we see Sir Tim carry out his own solo engagements, they aren’t included on the Court Circular as he’s not an official working royal, so if they were to be his engagement count would be a lot higher

(Operation working royal Tim) 👏

Prince Edward, The Duke of Kent.

Despite being 89, Prince Edward, the late Queens cousin, has carried out 89 engagements even with his ailing mobility.

He continued his valued hard work with organisations like the RNLI, the Royal Scots Guards and the Commonwealth War Graves Commission, which he recently passed on the presidency to the Princess Royal.

Catherine, The Princess of Wales

This year has not been easy for the Princess of Wales with her diagnosis, she significantly reduced her schedule and only attended the most important engagements like Trooping the Colour, Remembrance Day, visiting Southport and taking part in the Qatari State Visit. I really do hope that 2025 treats Catherine kindly and we can see her more often, doing what she does best 🥰

Hopefully we will see her and the Prince of Wales go on a couple of overseas tours next year now that their children are older.

In 2024 the Princess of Wales carried out 13 engagements.

Princess Alexandra of Kent

Princess Alexandra is more than likely unofficially retired from her royal duties now due to her age, health and ailing mobility.

We have only seen Her Royal Highness twice (once officially) this year, firstly accompanying her daughter Marina, at King Constantine’s service of thanksgiving at Windsor Castle, and secondly attending the Christmas lunch at Buckingham Palace.

I hope she is doing well and is taking things slowly. She began her royal duties in the 1950s, so at least 70 years of representing the monarchy. She has truly deserved her retirement and we will miss seeing her at engagements. I hope we will see her occasionally, health permitting of course 💖

In conclusion

This year the British Royal Family completed a grand total of 2099 in the UK and 25 different countries across the world.

🇱🇰🇳🇦🇦🇪🇨🇦🇳🇴🇫🇷🇳🇱🇮🇲🇯🇪🇬🇬🇦🇺🇼🇸🇩🇪🇿🇦🐢🏝️🇺🇬🇲🇨🇲🇹🇧🇭🇰🇼🇺🇦🇮🇹🇹🇿🇹🇩

See below for engagements from the past decade and the types of engagements carried out in 2024

34 notes · View notes

maritotoy · 1 year ago

Text

MAUGA X READER (GENDER NEUTRA)

Warning: Violence(Slight) & A bit of swearing

- A Little Bit of Mistake…

You are a part of the team of Overwatch team.

You are a healer and a sniper. This means that if anything ever happens to anyone on this mission, you have to take action fast so they can live. But what about if something happens to you instead? The mission will be compromised, no matter what.

Although you were a skilled healer, some think you were the next Ana, the former army sharpshooter, who is still active out there today.

You’re not sure if it’s because your skills came from Ana or if your abilities evolved in response to your situation. Either way, everyone on this team has been through some shit, so maybe you just need some help too.

Anyway, you're on a mission at the Coral Museum & Learning Center in a museum at Samoa.

It's where you meet your teammates.

The place is crowded with students as well. As you're walking through the exhibit halls, you hear explosion somewhere close by.

The building shakes violently, like it is about to collapse. You see a student running towards you screaming for cover. She bumps into you and falls down as her backpack falls onto the ground with a loud thud. You quickly grab her backpack and lift her up, before she gets hurt.

"Get to the nearest and safest exit," you say. "We have to get you away!" The young lady nods her head before you carry her over to one of the doors. It slides open easily and you quickly usher the girl out, shutting it behind you. After ensuring she is safely on the other side, you ran towards where the explosion had occurred. The area is littered with debris everywhere. Some people lie unconscious on the ground and others seem fine.

The only casualty seems to be an older guy laying motionless on the ground. He looks pretty beat up, but alive. Maybe he'll make it. You quickly run over to him and check his breathing. It's normal. Thank God...

You sighed in relief as you heard gunshots and your teammates' voices yelling from farther in the distance. Good. Now it seems you have found where your team went. Now you just have to go and find them and help them.

Hopefully, that didn't cost too much effort. You just have to hope your friends weren't hurt too badly while you were gone.

With your shotgun in hand, you took off running, towards the direction you heard your friends shouting in. Once you got past the rubble, you saw the group of four fighting against four different Talon soldiers. They were holding back their assailants by using various weapons.

That is impressive.

You admire their teamwork. Their teamwork might have made the difference between their survival and theirs.

You hide into a corner of the room and take aim with your rifle. Your finger tightens around the trigger and you pull, watching as your shot hits a Talon soldier squarely in the chest, causing him to fall to the ground dead immediately. You smile to yourself as you remember what that felt like during training. You don't know why you enjoyed shooting so much, or what it would do to someone else, but right now you were having fun with it. It seemed that every time you pulled the trigger, there was a new person that you shot down.

You hear your teammates calling out for assistance but the Talon soldiers are getting bolder and you can tell they aren't going to give in.

You start reloading your shotgun, which seems to have gotten heavier. Before, you had only managed two bullets each. This time it felt like three. You guess this gun does have more power than it lets on. As you fire multiple shots, more Talons fall on top of their comrades.

It feels exhilarating firing these bullets. Even though they don't seem to affect you directly, it makes you feel powerful in a way that nothing else could possibly do.

When you don't see your enemy anymore, you lower your weapon and ran towards your team as their medical support. They look quite shaken up, but none of them seem to be bleeding anywhere. Thank goodness. You're sure the wound isn't as severe as it seems.

You reach them, ready to assist them.

"Y/N, We still can't back down just yet! Our mission is to stop Talon!" You sigh, but agree with them nonetheless.

It won't do any good to turn tail now. Besides, if you really want to help, you may as well do everything possible. You can handle your own injuries if need be, but they will still be safer here with you instead of being alone. "I will continue to remain vigilant. If something else occurs, I will act accordingly." You reassured. Although you'd rather be doing your job with them, that is your decision to make.

You see them nod in agreement, and they both leave after thanking you profusely for sticking with them through everything, even though things seemed to be getting desperate.

The team continues to fight off the remaining Talon soldiers.

Eventually, one Talon soldier manages to follow you and laughing at the sight of your team members fighting back to back, and then face your back and yours alone as you run.

This gives him the upper hand since he saw you running alone. So, he slowly advances towards you with his two devastating guns.

"HaHa! Coming for ya!" He taunted before raising his gun.

He shoots, but you manage to dodge.

One bullet grazes your arm, making it sting. You hold back your scream and force your adrenaline to push through the pain. You quickly move forward to finish this bastard once and for all.

As you're rushing towards the man, he swings his guns at you and fires several bullets. Luckily, you were able to dodge them, but a few graze your shoulder when you move back.

You try hard not to let that bother you, but it's starting to get harder to keep your composure.

You hide behind one of the fallen buildings, trying to steady your heartbeat.

"Motherf*ck*r..." You whisper to yourself, panting.

At least you were able to dodge most of his shots and his bullets missed you by a wide margin. Still, you were injured by them.

You hear loud footsteps and loud thuds and you were certain it was the guy who's been chasing you.

You peek around the wall, and the man in question appears.

"Hey. Where's the rest of your teammates? I was hoping we could play together," the man smirks, clearly wanting revenge.

His face was covered with dirt and was clearly looking for you, so you decided to stay hidden.

After all, it wasn't worth provoking him. You couldn't afford to risk a fight with him.

A hulking figure with a heavily armored exoskeleton. His imposing presence and intimidating stature make him a force to be reckoned with.

He towers over everyone and almost always has his eyes locked on something specific, including you.

He grins and chuckles before saying, "What's wrong little rabbit? Don'tcha wanna play with me? I know you can fight! Everyone can! Come on, it wouldn't kill you to show me a trick or two." He laughs loudly and raises his arms up. "Come on, show me something amazing~"

You knew better than to fight with a giant, dangerous loose cannon, who is very likely more stronger than you are.

Mauga grins. He takes a step forward to your hiding spot as he lifts up his chaingun, "I know you can do it, little bunny. Show me what you've got~" He smiles widely at you.

You see how much he's enjoying this and he is f*cking annoying in your point of view.

As Mauga was to take another step forward to your hiding spot, you jump up from your spot and attack him in hopes that it will scare the crap out of him.

But unfortunately for you, Mauga doesn't flinch or look scared in the slightest. He simply shrugs your attack off.

As if his body is immune with bullets.

Then he uses his loud and huge jump to knock you back, causing you to tumble down and fall to the ground. You quickly scramble to get your feet underneath you very weakly.

You quickly turn and point your gun at him, aiming at his throat. Unfortunately, he just stands there.

He looks down at your gun and laughs, "Oh no, you little bunny. No need to worry about that. I'm too strong to be killed with a toy gun."

Your eyes opened wide in shock and your gun lowers slightly.

That was a stupid mistake.

"Well then." Mauga begins to move his body closer to you.

You quickly raise your gun and prepare to shoot again but there was a loud earthquake as the building around the two of you shook violently.

A large piece of metal and rocks falls from the ceiling, crashing on top of the two of you.

You feel your head hit the concrete floor hard, causing you to lose your vision momentarily for a second.

Once your vision recovers, two of you were trap under a huge sheet of metal. You begin moving your hands beneath the heavy metal as you try to break free of it. You hear Mauga grunt beside you, and you quickly face him with his leg trapped under the sheet of huge rocks.

Mauga looks up at you with an evil grin on his face as he starts laughing, "Awful, isn't it?" You growl in anger, "Do you not experience even a tiny bit of pain?" you said unbelievably.

"Maybe that's your issue with my game...maybe you shouldn't play my game so often.." He says, obviously enjoying himself.

His laughter makes you even angrier and soon you were trying to get off the huge mess but it was proving difficult with how tightly wedged you were underneath the weight of the sheet of metal and rocks crushing you together. Mauga watches your attempts to break free with amusement as you groan under the immense pressure.

You sighed loudly.

"I hate you." You spit(not literally) at him.

"Yeah, I can tell. That's one hell of a lot of hatred." Mauga replies, amused.

"How is this funny?! Do you understand how horrible you are!?" You shout, frustrated and upset that he was having such great success while you struggled to break free.

"Why don't you ask your teammates about that. Maybe they can teach you some real compassion." Mauga suggests smugly, laughing.

You stared at his smug grin as he laughed and he continued to tease you. You didn't say anything as you just clenched your fists and glared daggers into him. Once the shaking stopped, you removed the pieces of rock that had landed on top of you and looked at him dead in the eye.

You called for help, but there was no response. Your teammates must be far too focused on killing the other Talons and saving the others. Well, fine. They should concentrate on that anyway.

You had bigger problems to deal with anyways.

You exhaled deeply, relieved that at least his leg is stuck in a massive pile of boulders, even if you were both bound together alone on the trapped broken building. As you tried to break out of the debris, your arms began to hurt. The rocks were too heavy for you to lift them up with your physical strength.

"Tch!" You grumble quietly in annoyance as you start to lift up your left arm, pulling at your shoulders and neck. Nothing. It only hurt more. You pull with all your might, trying your hardest to break free, even though that's not really helping at the moment.

"Your trying awfully hard there, little bunny. You think those rocks have grown legs? I don't mind waiting for the right time to make myself known~" Mauga smirks evilly at you and you grit your teeth to try and hold onto the stubborn rocks as long as you can.

But after a couple minutes, you finally give up. It' no use anymore. The rock is too heavy. You sigh dejectedly and stare angrily at the giant man who caused your current predicament.

"You won't last much longer like this." He states.

"No shit. You can keep dreaming, asshole." You sneer at him angrily.

Mauga's smirk grows even wider. "Ahahaha, you're right. You'll be dead within the hour." He chuckles. "But I don't mean that figuratively. Believe me." His sinister voice sends chills down your spine.

He stares. "I'll be quite literal with you, you see, so don't worry."

He stops right in front of you and stares you straight in the eye. His dark, glowing eyes were staring down on you intently, making shivers run up and down your spine. You wanted to look away, but you couldn't. Those eyes were unnerving you and sending a deep sense of fear into your heart.

"Now, let me introduce myself~ My name is Mauga. And you are?" He asked.

He seemed excited to meet you. He wanted to see how strong you are before killing you.

What an Irony.

You shake your head at his stupid question before responding with an answer, "...Y/N." You watch as he tilts his head to one side curiously, "Yes, my name is Y/N. That's all you need to know, asswipe." You spat.

"Wow, such a big mouth." Mauga chuckles. "Let's see, what else should I know about you.."

He pauses and grins. "Oh yes! Let's see. What was your favorite color?" He asks.

You narrow your eyebrows. Why is he asking such random things? Does he seriously want to know about your life story? You're already pretty fucking traumatized by everything going on. It's not like you're gonna talk about the color of my favorite candy bar or the fact that I used to eat marshmallows during the summers. You think.

Before you can respond, he adds, "Hmmm, maybe your favorite season? Spring, summer...Autumn? Winter?"

"Ughhh, why don't you just f*ck off and go die?!" You yell angrily.

He laughs loudly at your choice of words and responds to your comment, "It's pretty rare for a bunny to call me 'F*cker' instead of 'Oi, Handsome~'."

You glare at him and bite your lip as you close your eyes. After few moments, you sigh softly before looking over to Mauga, feeling yourself calm down a little and a small smile forming on your face,

"How is your leg?" You asked, focusing on the rock blocking his leg.

"Not too bad~." Mauga answers happily, clearly pleased with the question.

You fakely snort and roll your eyes lightly. It seems like every word he says is going to piss you off.

"For someone your size, you seem quite weak." He chuckles.

"Is it just your way of talking or do you actually mean that? Because that sounds so f*cking dumb." You reply.

Mauga merely laughs. "Don't you dare insult my words, rabbit...you may think they're pretty silly to me but I swear, when you're as tough as I am, you learn not to judge a book by its cover, ya know?" He responds sarcastically.

You roll your eyes at his stupid remark and huff angrily, "Whatever, idiot. I don't care what you think, I have bigger things to do."

"Like defeat me?" He asks.

"Or kill you." You correct, "But since we're already here, I guess we could try."

The two of you stare each other down with an intense gaze, waiting for the other to make their first move.

Eventually Mauga breaks the eye contact first and laughs, "Good luck~" and his massive frame simply laid there, unconcerned about his leg becoming entangled in the debris.

You glare at him in frustration and then turn your attention back to the huge mess that trapped you with him.

You try to lift it up with all your strength but it wouldn't budge, it was like trying to lift up a mountain.

You let out another frustrated noise and grab one of the small rock nearby and toss it towards Mauga, hitting him on the back.

He seems unfazed, turning to look at you and then grinning, "Ah, come on, don't waste your energy, Y/N~ Just kill me quickly, I'm bored and impatient."

You glare at him again, "You're not getting any pity from me! Not ever." You snap.

You felt your blood begin to boil and you weren't sure whether you were angry at him or at yourself.

There's no telling how badly your injuries are hurting but you're struggling desperately to get these stupid rocks off of him and the ones that trapped you both.

You were a medic, support, and also the team's backup but, even healers like you needs medical assistance too.

You were badly hurt and this time.

YOU COULDN'T HELP YOURSELF.

Mauga sighs and runs his fingers through his hair and shakes his head at you, "You're so stubborn, Y/N..."

You scowl at him and continue to struggle, refusing to give in. You didn't want to give up so easily, despite the pain that you're in, but you've never been good at resisting a direct order.

Mauga extends his gigantic arms at Y/N and gestures for her to come forward. You raise your eyebrow at him skeptically and cross your arms in front of your chest, defiantly glowering at him.

"Come now, little bunny," Mauga taunts, "Don't make me force you~."

"Go ahead, make a fool of yourself." You say in a cold tone.

"Very well. Let's see how well you react to pain then." He smirks evily and you instantly feel your body tense up, ready for him to push you aside while he uses his muscular and giant arms to choke you but instead he throws his big hands forward, making you fall on top of him while grunting in surprise.

"Hmph, I knew that would work!" Mauga exclaims triumphantly as he picks you up in ease.

As you sit there, stunned, still dazed from the sudden blow, Mauga holds you against his large body with ease, as if you weighed nothing at all.

He leans down so that his face is only inches away from yours, almost whispering to you so that only you can hear him.

"Do you know what it feels like when you fall into water? It feels like being caught in slow motion and unable to stop, but you can't, either. You can only move your body slowly, but slowly enough so that you don't drown."

Mauga's grin widens into a full blown grin of mischief.

"I don't understand... what does this have anything to do with me?" You whisper back. Mauga chuckles and shakes his head.

"Nothing~ I'm just playing with your mind, Y/N~ You're gonna find out soon enough~." He replies.

He looks directly into your terrified eyes for a brief moment, before he starts laughing hysterically.

"What? I am confused." You ask. He bursts into laughter once more. You look up at him confused, unsure whether he's being serious or not.

"HahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He laughs very loudly that sooner or later the place will crash you both to death, tears beginning to fall from his eyes from the overwhelming laughter, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

His laugh eventually subsides as he wipes away his tears. He glances down at you and smiles, "Don't fret, little bunny! Your death won't be so tragic after all~"

"I'm not dying! And even if I did die, you'll still be alive!" You shout angrily, clenching your fists tightly.

"That's true~ But then again, what's the point in living if I'm still going to have to deal with your pathetic attitude right now. How boring~ I wonder what kind of fun you'd be without this annoying attitude."

He smiles at you, a sickening sweet smile.

The smile makes your skin crawl but you felt your anger start to fade, your heart skipping a beat and your breathing becoming shallow.

The way he was looking at you, you couldn't help but feel vulnerable and exposed.

He takes notice of how quiet you were becoming.

A soft smile forms on his face. "You're finally listening~" His dark tone turns into a sinister chuckle.

"Yes! Now I get it! You're a crazy psychopath!" You scream, throwing your arms in the air exasperatedly. He cackles madly at your reaction.

"Now that was satisfying, little bunny. You really did grow on me!" Mauga continues to laugh.

"Now let' me finish my sentence. I'm sorry about not telling you earlier, I know that you probably thought that I was just trying to annoy you and my leg might be injured but the truth is..." He grins mischievously.

He was trying to hold of his laughter and lifts the huge boulder that had been trapping his leg.

He completely destroyed the boulder into a complete dust making you shock and flabbergasted.

"What the fuck!?" You exclaimed, jumping up onto your feet. You were shocked.

"Well, if you must know, I was saving that for later." He responded smugly, walking toward you, his huge hands reaching for your waist.

You immediately tried to pull away from him but he catches you before you could. Your face goes red and you struggle wildly to get away but to no avail. "Relax, I'll let go of you once you do something I ask~" Mauga said.

"Fuck you." You hissed, glaring daggers at him, "Just give me one reason why I should trust you."

"Because I said so~" He replied, smirking down at you.

"So you were bluffing then.." You mumble, glaring at him.

Mauga shakes his head, "Oh no~ which part? That I lied about killing you or that I'm gonna let go of you anytime soon...?"

You blushed hard but at the same time, your heart started beating faster.

"No. No. No! NO!! YOU ASSHOLE! Don't you fucking dare touch me you perverted bastard!" You yelled, squirming beneath his grasp.

Mauga watched them squirmed, lifting them and smiles as he watched them contently.

END OF PART 1

Please pardon me. I've never published a writing tale on Tumblr before. I'm not sure whether I still have that talent, ughh.

#mauga x reader #maugaloa malosi #mauga overwatch #overwatch mauga #overwatch #first time nko yawa #mauga #ow mauga

171 notes · View notes

rastronomicals · 2 months ago

Audio

6:51 AM EST November 18, 2024:

Angry Samoans - “Lights Out” From the album Back From Samoa (1982)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

–

#Angry Samoans #Back From Samoa #Lights Out

0 notes

sillyteecup · 5 months ago

Text

The Wrong Way

Roman Reigns x black!o.c

Jey Uso x black!o.c

Chapter 2

Warnings:

18+

Strong language

References to sexual assault

Slutshaming

Taglist: @wrestlingprincess80 @lensilver @nbanenefrmdao @theninthwonder @vebner37 @tshepisho

A.N: Lmao so I took a little too long with this especially for how short it is, but like I said, I had a super busy week and just tried to get it together piece by piece. Rest assured thou that I will try and be quicker with chapter 3. Anyway, hope you like it. Enjoy❤️

Loreal was incensed. Throughout the meeting about the arrangements to be made, she fought the urge to look around for hidden cameras. This had to be a joke of some kind. A very unfunny joke at that. She had zoned out from the moment Byron introduced Tribal Prince Jey as her fiancé. As if her system had shut down from the disbelief. She sat at the large table in the dining hall with a curt, yet equally polite curl on her lips.

Not a smile. There was nothing to smile about.

While unable to listen, Lori did her best to observe her fiancé, new in-laws, and their Wiseman. Tribal Prince Solo was nothing short of stoic. His expression never cracked or wavered and he never spoke unless spoken to. Lori would never blame one for thinking he was essentially a walking corpse. It was creepy, but also weirdly impressive.

"The Tribal Tribal Prince and Princess to be will be wed on island of Samoa," Lori briefly heard the Wiseman tell Lord Byron. She fought an eye roll at the trivial information. She knew her father didn't care where it happened, as long as it did.

The white one, Sami, she heard the Wiseman call him, was somewhat fidgety. Maybe jumpy or paranoid would be a better description. His eyes flew to every corner of the room as if scanning for threats, albeit quite subtly as Lori doubted she would've noticed had it not been for her downright watching them. She also picked up on how when one of the staff members had dropped a tray after serving them tea, Sami's leg bounced rapidly as his hand flew to scratch his beard. Lori summized that he was trying to avoid an outwardly jumpy reaction. Granted he did a horrible job.

"There will be a few, uhm...routines that she will need to partake in," Lori heard the Wiseman state, not bothering to listen to the rest of his explanation. Her mother would fill her in later anyway.

The twins, Tribal Princes Jimmy and Jey were different from their brother, Solo. Glaringly different. They were expressive, laid back, talkative. Very talkative. They never said anything out loud, just the occasional exchange of whispers and snickers among the two of them. Jimmy however seemed to be the more decent one. Perhaps it was bias since he wasn't the one her father sold her soul to. While Jey held a hungry gaze whenever he encountered an attractive member of the female staff, Jimmy mainly focused on the meeting and the appetizers they had been served. Jimmy would also occasionally call for Jey's concentration, but it seemed that it was in fear of the Tribal Chief noticing.

Speaking of the Tribal Chief-

"The Tribal Princess-to-be will also be expected to live in the main palace until she and the Tribal Prince are to be married-" Lori's head snapped in the Wiseman's direction at this fact. Her sharp gaze missed the worried ones of her parents who weren't sure what to anticipate.

"Excuse me?" Lori asked, struggling to keep her voice level. Not only was she being offered as a sacrificial lamb to this fiend, but she was also being uprooted from her home without so much as a 2 week notice.

At this, Tribal Chief Roman's sharp gaze that had been mostly focused on Lord Byron and the Wiseman, shifted to Lori for the first time since he had entered their home. Lori couldn't put a finger on what was behind it, but despite it's intimidating nature, she shook it off. Now was not the time to be deterred by this man whose family was shaking her life up by the second.

"Uhm, yes Miss Loreal. As a future Tribal Princess, you are expected to reside in the palace until your wedding day-" the Wiseman had begun to explain, only to be cut off by an increasingly irritated Lori.

"With a man whom I've never spoken a word outside of a greeting to? Out of the question," Lori stated dismissively. She wasn't having any of it. Marrying him was bad enough, but to live with him before she had exchanged even the most insignificant bit of small talk with him was just a whole new extreme.

Lord Byron smiled nervously at the Tribal Chief. Lori's temper was a dangerous thing on it's own, now for it to flare in front of the most powerful man in the world was a sure recipe for destruction as he was certain that the Tribal Chief would not take kindly to her words once angered. Lord Byron could only tread lightly to keep both parties calm.

"Loreal, my dear, there is no question regarding the matter. If it is the will of the Tribal Chief, then it will be done," he said softly, trying his best to satisfy the Bloodline and avoid undermining his daughter directly. He stared at her pleadingly, noticing her jaw clench and eye start to twitch ever so slightly.

The twins watched the interaction, secretly anticipating a firey reaction from Lori to lighten the boring meeting. Solo remained stoic while Sami and the Wiseman's eyes were trained on the Tribal Chief, worried that her outburst might anger him, an emotion they usually experienced the brunt of. Tribal Chief Roman however was intrigued by her initial reaction. Her defiance, although minor was a sign that she would survive this turbulent marriage and life with his cousin. One less woman coming to him with complaints about an unhappy marriage.

Loreal exhaled deeply, keeping her temper at bay. Her stony gaze remained on her father as she spoke: "When am I expected to move?" she asked with a strained voice.

The Wiseman cleared his voice nervously, clearly worried that his answer would cause a series of unfortunate events. "Miss Loreal, unfortunately customs require you to move to the palace today," he replied, eyes flying between Lori and Tribal Chief Roman.

Lori stared blankly as the gears turned in her mind. Today? As in now? Again, surely this must be some sick fucking joke. Feeling her temper rapidly rise back up, she abruptly stood up from her seat and stormed up to her room. The absence of footsteps behind her told her her parents knew better than to try and reason with her right now. She needed time.

She stormed into her room, startling her maidens. "Ma'am, is it over already?"

"Ma'am you seem distressed?"

"Ma'am, what is the verdict?"

"Ma'am is everything well?" they all asked at the same time, further overwhelming Lori.

However they held no blame over her situation, so she calmed down before answering them. "Tribal Prince Jey, tell me about him. Tell me everything you've heard, everything you know," she demanded in a calm haste.

She sat on the edge of her bed as the maidens grabbed their stools to sit around her in their "gossip formation" as she liked to call it jokingly.

Willow was the first one to speak, sensing that there wasn't much time before one of her parents came knocking.

"He's well known for well, being quite the rover ma'am," she said hesitantly. The last thing she needed was to be heard calling a member of the most powerful family across the seas a whore.

"That's putting it quite lightly Willow. The man is a womanizer. Has many a mistress across the seas I've heard," Minerva stated carelessly.

"And many a lovechild, I've heard," Claudia added with a scandalized look.

"I've heard he's a deviant. No regard for a lady's feelings and only wants one thing: sex. That's all he sees women for," Indi scoffed, looking slightly annoyed to Lori's intrigue.

"You've encountered him personally?" Lori asked her with a frown.

Indiana's eyes widened as she was taken aback. "No ma'am, not me!" she denied quickly in defense of her reputation.

"Then someone you know." Lori wasn't asking; it was an observation. One she wanted confirmed.

However Indiana seemed apprehensive, taking her time to answer which only further upset Lori. "Perhaps I should've mentioned that our time is borrowed. Someone will come to check on me soon and I would rather they not hear this little conversation for your own safety," Lori said, beckoning Indiana to speak and quickly.

"It was my sister. She encountered the Tribal Prince Jey a month ago," Indiana revealed softly. She was still afraid that the wrong person might have heard her and that her sister's life would be in jeopardy.

Lori exhaled sharply. Before she could speak however, there was a knock, likely one of her parents. The maidens immediately stood up and moved the chairs to their rightful positions and stood to the side of the room. Lori nodded, signaling for Claudia to open the door, revealing and annoyed yet nervous looking Lord Byron.

Lori's father took cautious steps into the room and towards his daughter. "I've come in peace," he said, hoping to avoid his daughter's wrath.

"Peace that you compromised the moment you decided to sacrifice me like a goat, to a hoodlum no less," Lori hissed, glaring daggers at her father.

"Lori he is a man who has desires. Unfortunately he tends to succumb to them, but that does not make him unworthy of respect nonetheless," Lord Byron explained in defense of the Tribal Prince.

Lori chuckled sarcastically. "If he were a woman he would be considered a damaged whore," she scoffed.

"Well his family is aware of your damaged state and still desires to have you as a princess. You should be grateful. Count yourself lucky that there is a man who still desires you!" he whisper-shouted, starting to feel his own temper rise at his daughter's defiance.

"A man who desires anything he can insert-" she was once again interrupted by Lord Byron.

"Loreal you are in no position of judgement! Perhaps if you hadn't shamed me, and were still pure, then you could run your mouth and voice your obscene opinions, but you are not pure. You do not have that luxury! Because you are used, damaged, tattered!" he hissed, making Lori's heart drop with each word.

How he loves to forget my cries and screams for help that day.

"So you sold me to a man who you see as my moral equal?" Lori asked incredulously as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. "Your love for me knows no bounds," she sarcastically gritted through her teeth.

Lord Byron ran his hand down his face and sighed before turning to leave her room. "Pack. All of you," he commanded, addressing the maidens for the first time since he had entered the room.

"You are to leave with the Bloodline in 2 hours."

#roman reigns #roman reigns fic #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns fanfic #roman reigns x original character #roman reigns x black!poc #roman reigns x black!oc #roman reigns x black oc #roman reigns x black!reader #wwe roman reigns #jey uso #jey uso fic #jey uso fanfiction #jey uso x black oc #jey uso x oc #wwe #sillyteecup writes #The Wrong Way

60 notes · View notes