#back from samoa

[rastronomicals]

4:57 PM EDT March 22, 2024:

Angry Samoans - "Lights Out" From the album Back From Samoa (1982)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

--

[savage-kult-of-gorthaur]

IN PRAISE OF B-MOVIE MONSTERMANIA MEETS RETARDO RETRO GARAGE PUNK.

PIC(S) INFO: Spotlight on the "Back From Samoa" debut LP by Los Angeles garage/hardcore punk band ANGRY SAMOANS, released on Bad Trip Records in 1982.

MINI-REVIEW: "The best garage punk album of the year. The SAMOANS have once again produced a brilliant amalgam of 60s punk, 80s punk, and heavy metal. The punchy uptempo sound, buttressed by three guitars and extremely belligerent mid-60s lead vocals is so dense that it’s well-nigh impenetrable, but it’s the SAMOANS’ exceptionally retarded sense of humor that really accounts for their perverse appeal. This brain-damaged approach is vastly better than the commercialized punk and self-conscious Satanic crap which currently dominates the L.A. scene, so don’t miss out."

-- MAXIMUM ROCKNROLL, fall/winter '82

REVIEWER: Jeff Bale

LABEL: Bad Trip

ISSUE: MRR #3 • November/December 1982

Sources: www.maximumrocknroll.com/band/angry-samoans, genius, the Vinyl District, various, etc...

[are-we-really-doing-this]

Joe and Corino on their weeb shit

[fallout-lou-begas]

been watching a lot of old saved wrestling matches lately. watched julia hart and kris statlander's feud last night and then also athena vs willow nightingale at death before dishonor and it's like... fuck dude have you fucking heard about this have you heard about wrestling have you heard about WOMEN!!!!!! it's good as hell FUCK

[punksyeet]

- Honeymoon Avenue ❥

Plot: An unforgettable wedding calls for an even more unforgettable honeymoon.

Warning: Hefty flirting, mature language, & light fluffy smut (first time)!

A/N: thank you to the person that requested this. i immediately fell in love with the plot from the second i saw and read it in my requests, so i wrote with my heart. i hope you enjoy! 🤍

—————————————————————————————————

The sound of waves crashing on the shoreline and scent of smoky Samoan barbecue fill the air.

From marrying the man of my dreams, to being in pure paradise 24 hours later.

It all feels so surreal.

I look down at my ring, the one that was slid onto my fourth finger by the man I love most after he promised to love me no matter what.

His vows have been replaying in my head since last night…

“Gianna Nicole. My love. My queen. The love of my life. I feel like the luckiest man alive to be standing in front of such a strong, beautiful, and gentle woman like you - just moments away from spending the rest of our lives together. You’ve supported me since the second we met - through all the good, the bad, the celebratory wins, the rough losses, everything. And, my love, I want you to know how grateful I am. I thank God every day for bringing us together. You’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of. I promise to love and protect you for the rest of our days. La'u pele, ou te alofa ia te oe. My darling, I love you.”

I feel a soft smile creeping onto my lips as I rock my finger back and forth, allowing the diamonds to shine bright in the sun.

“You good out here, Mrs. Anoa’i?” the voice that belongs to my husband suddenly asks, wrapping his muscular arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder.

I sigh dreamily and rest my head back onto his chest. “More than good, love. I’m perfect.”

He chuckles and turns his head to place gentle kisses on my cheek and neck. “Damn right you are.”

I smile and turn in his arms, allowing his gorgeous eyes to lock with mine.

A soft smile grows on my face as I reach up and tuck a strand of hair that came loose from his bun back in place.

“Sorry if I worried you,” I mutter, cupping the side of his face and stroking his freckles with my thumb.

He lets out a huff of laughter, stroking my sides. “When I didn’t see you in the room, I figured you’d be out here. I know how much you love this view.”

I nod, still smiling, and look back at the ocean. “I never wanna leave.”

“Well lucky for you,” he replies, causing me to turn back to him. “We can come back whenever you’d like. Just say the words.”

I raise an eyebrow, snaking my arms around his neck. “Look at me, married to Mr. Samoa himself.”

He smirks and leans in towards my ear, dropping his voice down a few octaves. “You know it, baby.”

I giggle and hold the back of his head, as he feathers light kisses below my ear and down my neck.

“Mmm Joe,” I whisper in between moans as he adds tongue, gently nipping at my collarbone.

He’s given me neck kisses a thousand times before, but this time feels different. More intimate, that is.

Am I finally ready?

“Hm, baby? You okay?” he reassures, standing back up and cupping my face.

I gently nod, taking a deep breath. “Y-yeah, of course. I just….”

My voice trails off and a concerned look comes over his face.

“You just what, baby? Talk to me.”

“I….I think I’m ready,” I say, my voice just above a whisper.

His eyes widen and eyebrows raise in shock. “Ready?”

I nod in reply, unable to find any words. More shocked at myself than anything.

I knew this day would come, especially after we got married.

But why now?

He breathes a sigh of relief and strokes either side of my face with his thumbs. “Are you sure, baby? You know I don’t mind waiting for you.”

I nod again, my breath hitching in my throat. “I’m sure, Joe. I need you.”

A gorgeous smile forms on his lips and he leans in, pressing his lips to mine.

I automatically kiss back, deepening the kiss by standing on my tippy toes and pulling him in closer.

** smut warning! **

He scoops me up by my thighs and takes us inside, breaking the kiss to lay me on our bed.

Our time apart doesn’t last long, as he lifts his shirt above his head and throws it aside, quickly hovering over me and connecting our lips again.

I let out a quiet hum and arch my back as he places his large hands on my inner thighs and gives them a gentle squeeze.

“You’re so sensitive baby,” he mutters in between kisses. “I love it.”

I take a deep breath as he slides his thumbs into the waistband of my panties and ever-so-slowly pulls them down.

“Look at you sweetheart,” he coos, tossing them aside and admiring the heat between my legs. “More gorgeous than I could’ve ever imagined.”

He reaches out and slides two fingers up and down, directly in-between my folds. “How does this feel, babygirl?”

“S-so good,” I reply, attempting to hold back any sounds that are desperate to leave my mouth. “So fucking good.”

“Aht aht,” he replies, gently lifting my chin with the index finger and thumb on his free hand. “No holding back, baby. Let daddy hear you, yeah?”

I nod, licking my now bone dry lips nervously.

He starts to pick up the speed, his fingers now slowly but surely going in and out of my pussy.

“Oh my god,” I call out quietly, whimpering in between words.

A soft smile comes over his face and he kisses my forehead. “That’s my girl. Your sounds are so beautiful, darling.”

I blush at the compliment and my face drops when, suddenly, I feel a deep pit at the bottom of my stomach.

“J-Joe?” I call out to him, more scared than anything.

“Shhh,” he shushes me, stroking my hair. “I can feel you, baby. Don’t be afraid. You know I’ve got you. Just let it happen.”

I nod nervously and arch my back slightly, as the pit gets deeper.

“I….I can’t…baby please,” I manage to get out, moans and whimpers still uncontrollably pouring out of me.

“Yes you can mama,” he replies, that gentle tone still in his voice. “You can do it.”

My vision goes white and, within seconds, my thighs and our sheets are soaked.

** smut over! **

When my mind comes back down to earth, I look down and my eyes widen in shock.

Joe offers me a comforting smile, pulling out his fingers. “You just had your first orgasm, sweetheart.”

I prop myself up on my elbows and watch on as he takes his fingers into his mouth, his tongue darting out to taste them.

He throws his head back and hums in approval after pulling them out. “You taste so sweet, babygirl. Cmere.”

I automatically do as I’m told, sitting all the way up and crawling over to the edge of the bed.

He cups my face and brings his lips to mine in a passionate kiss.

I automatically kiss back, groaning at the taste of myself on his tongue.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” I say once we pull apart, my voice just above a whisper.

He smiles and brushes a few curls out of my face, followed by a deep kiss to my forehead. “No need to thank me, sweetheart. You’re my wife now. What I said yesterday, I meant every word.”

I smile and nuzzle my face into his neck shyly, causing him to chuckle and hug me back.

He strokes my back a few times before pulling away. “Now, what do you say we grab some dinner, hm?”

“As long as you’re on the dessert menu,” I tease, smoothing out his beard.

“Mmm,” he replies, a playful smirk on his face. “I think I can arrange that.”

“Now,” he continues, giving my butt a playful smack. “Go get ready, angel face.”

I giggle and kiss his cheek before walking off into the bathroom.

Dinner is incredible - from the freshly caught fish in our appetizer, to the meat in our main courses that was all barbecued to perfection. Hell, even the rolls for dessert were unreal.

And when we got back to the beach house, best believe I got that second round of dessert.

Multiple servings actually - in bed, on the balcony, even in the bathroom….outside and inside of the shower. Each round was sweeter than the last.

I’m surprised I didn’t break in two by the end of the night - which we spent with a romantic walk on the beach under the stars.

Talk about the most unreal honeymoon ever. <3

—————————————————————————————————

Liked by romanreigns, uceyjucey, jonathanfatu, trinity_fatu, 831.4k others

giannamacri caught flights & feelings 🌺💍

View all 43.9k comments

romanreigns I love you ❤️

trinity_fatu The most beautiful couple 🥹😍

lance_anoai Welcome to the family 🩸❤️

Liked by giannamacri, uceyjucey, jonathanfatu, samoan_mike, and 1.3M others

romanreigns Beyond excited to do life with you 💍 #Married

View all 72.9k comments

giannamacri 🤍

samoan_mike Faamalo uso ☝🏽❤️

wwe Congratulations! 💍❤️

Liked by WWE and 52.7k others

tmz #RomanReigns spotted in Samoa for honeymoon with now wife #GiannaMacri. Congratulations to the newly weds! 💍❤️

View all 18.4k comments

Tag List: @uceyliyahh @christinabae @bebesobrielo @biancasreign @myamericannightmare @partypoison00 @li-da-savage @xbriexx @luvrsluxe @tribalchief2112 @isabella-2025 @chasssssworld @wrestlingprincess80 @amethyst09 ♡

Join my tag list here! ᥫ᭡

Request a one-shot here! ❦

Check out my twitter and tiktok! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Follows, feedback, & reblogs appreciated! -`♡´-

[thewingedwolf]

i’m reblogging during daylight hours very interesting that there’s two samoa votes, im gonna be honest i don’t know that i’ve heard much about that season

i’m working my way to survivor second chances, i have just finished cagayan & san juan del sur. i have struggled with watching the early, non hd seasons bc i am a little baby. i am leaning towards tocantins bc i liked tyson on the challenge & i like stephen fishbach on know it alls. i have also seen parvati on traitors & dondi and liked her, & cirie on traitors & bb and liked her. i have only seen, besides those two, new era seasons (specifically 41, 42, 45, 46, 47). i’m polling the audience, please take this seriously thank u

[multiheadcanons]

Hello! How about: There's one last pack of cookies on the base, who gets it? Who's playing keep away? Who's teaming up in the name of baked goods? Discuss.

hmmmm…

depends on how many cookies are left in the last pack.

is it a family pack? because heavy will absolutely just split it evenly into nine piles and hand them out accordingly, and there will be no fight.

if it’s the last singular serving pack in a box of single serves, it is a fight…. for those who care.

girl scout cookies and ice cream sandwiches are lawless land. they either fight for their serving or starve. the highest priority of cookies are samoas, followed by thin mints, followed by tagalongs. but let’s turn our attention back to that middle option.

the people who care about the cookies are scout, soldier, demo, heavy, engineer, and snipes, occasionally. pyro doesn’t actually… like sweets, and the doctor and spy don’t care for garbage american processed cookies.

scout grabs the pack first, and if nobody is there to stop him then he will eat them and let either snipes or heavy know he ate the last pack and to put it on the list. this isn’t an issue, and doesn’t bring any tension.

the issue comes up when demo catches him.

demo will argue if he catches scout taking the last serving of anything. mainly because he wants the serving. but the excuse he will say is that if it’s left until the next grocery run, it can be added to the new pack when it comes in and nobody feels like they missed out. and this actually used to work on scout! this worked until scout caught demo doubling back to the kitchen to grab the pack of cookies.

at this point, tensions are rising. demo will even bring soldier in to help prove his point (a point he himself isn’t even following), and on a good day, demo will split the pack up, and it’ll be done! but that is a rare occurrence, and normally once soldier is involved he gets pissy because damn… he would like an oreo.

scout, seeing the fracture in their alliance, will grab engie, resident food lover, to his side. this also doesn’t work. engie is sitting there like damn… he, too, would like an oreo. can he get an oreo? how hard is it to get a fucking oreo around here?

this is an argument that will increase in volume until the rest of the team is wondering what the fuck is going on in the kitchen. and will go one of these ways:

if heavy reaches the kitchen first, he will simply take the pack from scout and give them all one (1) cookie and take the rest of the pack for himself. nobody is willing to push that further.

if pyro reaches the kitchen first, scout will willingly hand the cookies off and tell pyro to pick someone and give them the pack. this is normally engineer.

if medic reaches the kitchen first, if snipes isn’t in active view of the kitchen, he insists he can split the cookies up and it be fair, so they hand the doctor the cookies. he’ll take one for himself and then toss the pack into the air and watch the chaos ensue. they will trust him every time because they know medic doesn’t like american made cookies, and it is an ultimate betrayal everytime he does this.

is snipes reaches the kitchen first, everyone gets physically removed from the kitchen and the cookies are confiscated. everyone involved is banned from the kitchen for the week, as is his god given right as kitchen and grill guard. but, he’ll make a batch of cookies for the team when he gets a moment alone.

nobody ever knows if spy has ever reached the kitchen in time, they just know they’re in the middle of arguing and scout looks down at his hand and the cookies are gone. this will only throw gas on the fire and devolve the argument into a full fist fight in the kitchen, and the cookies will be placed in the nearest trash receptacle.

[physics-of-one-piece]

Timezones in One Piece World

I am back with a physics post! Well, more meteorology/geography post!

I was inspired to create a timezone map after reading the newest chapter of Doflamingo's Marine by @moonbaby26 where a timezone difference was mentioned, which was a great detail! I remember thinking about timezones in OP world but never got around to it but I did now. So it made me wonder just what timezone is Dressrosa (my fav island 🤗) in, what timezone are the other islands in?

SO!

I pulled a grid of irl timezones, simplified it, and put it over the One Piece World Map! (You can see some parts where I was like, no keep it simple, simplify it).

HERE IT IS!

UTC is coordinated universal time, aka time in the center of the world. Anyway, here are the islands + locations and I'll put some ANs for some cus some are interesting.

Paradise:

Reverse Mountain [UTC -1]

Red Line Center [UTC -1]

Twin Cape [UTC 0] Greenwhich Mean Time,

📍Iceland

I find it PERFECT the exit from Reverse Mountain into Grand Line are the ones in the center of the One Piece World, not the Red Line Itself.

Cactus Island [UTC 0] Western European Time (WET)

📍irl ex: Reykyavik, Iceland

Little Garden [UTC +1] Central European Time (CET)

📍 Italy, Spain

Drum Island [UTC +2] Eastern European Summer Time (EEST)

Alabasta [UTC +3] irl ex:

📍

Jaya [UTC +4]

Skypiea [UTC +4]

Long Ring Rong Island [UTC +5]

Water 7 [UTC +6]

Amazon Lily [UTC +7]

Enies Lobby [UTC +6]

Florian Triangle [UTC +9] Japan Standard Time

Sabaody Archipelago [UTC +10]

Impel Down [UTC +8]

Marineford [UTC +9] Japan Standard Time (JST)

Holy Land of Mariejois [UTC +9] New Zealand Standard Time

Fishman Island [UTC +10]

New World

New Marineford [UTC -8] Baker Island Time (BIT)

Punk Hazard [UTC -8] Samoa Standard Time (SST)

Dressrosa [UTC -7] Pacific Daylight Time

📍 Los Angeles

It used to be in Hawaii, it fit so much, whyyyy 😭😭

Totto Land [UTC -5] Eastern Standard Time

📍irl ex: Florida, U.S.

Wano Country [UTC -4]

📍irl ex:

Uf, I think that's all the big locations. I recommend using just the UTC and then you go minus or plus just so you don't have to go converting everything. The One Piece world most likely just says "Universal Time + (number)" or sth.

So, for example, if it's 17:00 (5 pm) in Marineford (UTC +9) on a Monday, it will then be 1 am on Monday in Dressrosa.

17 - 9 (to get UTC 0) = 8 am Monday (UTC 0)

Then another -7 hours, you get Monday 1 am (UTC -7) in Dressrosa. So Dressrosa is 16 HOURS behind Original Marineford.

Interesting how Doflamingo settled in Dressrosa, which is the entire 22 hours behind Holy Land by time, symbolising how his family abandoned the privileges of Celestial Dragons. Nice.

Also, for the Blues, regarding seasons:

North Blue & East Blue = North Hemisphere such as Europe & U.S. (winter months - December, January, February)

West Blue & South Blue - South Hemisphere (like Australia & New Zealand) so the winter months are June, July, August.

The seasons are interchangable in the Grand Line depending on the islands!

Taglist: @fanaticsnail

[pinturas-sgm-aviacion]

1942 04 Samoa, Curtiss SBC-4 Helldiver VMO-151 - Don Greer

VMO-151 would soon be deployed to Samoa in the South Pacific on April 7, 1942, along with VMF-111, a Grumman F4F Wildcat squadron, amid fears that the Japanese would strike and potentially occupy several islands including Midway, Johnston Island, Palmyra, Samoa and Fiji. Men, material and particularly aircraft were sent from all services to each of these areas as quickly as possible.The Marines found themselves on Tutuila, the largest island in the Samoan archipelago, where conditions were primitive at best. Mosquitos, humidity, and oppressive heat were their constant companions. They flew daily anti-submarine patrols, and an alert crew of six pilots and six gunners were on standby from dawn to dusk. Maintenance of the SBC-4’s was a problem, so much so that some of the patrols were flown in one of a handful of Grumman JRF-5 Ducks that had also been sent to Samoa.In the event of Japanese attack, VMO-151’s operational plan consisted of striking the enemy force as far out as possible, entailing a one-way mission in which they expected to run out of fuel over the ocean en route back to Tutuila. Once they ditched, the plan called for the commanding general’s PBY to land on the water to pick them up, then take off again mid-ocean. One of the Marine aviators on Samoa, Colonel John B. Berteling, recalled, “It certainly was not the sort of plan that inspired confidence in our survival.” VMO-151 would remain on Samoa until early 1943, when they were finally re-equipped with Douglas SBD’s.Samoa would be the final front-line service of the SBC-4. The U.S. Marine Corps would not phase it out of service completely until a full year after the Navy had retired the type. Like many other combat aircraft at the beginning of America’s war, it was pressed into service and stood in harm’s way until more modern aircraft were widely available.

[junglemax]

thank u to that one tweet abt hook needing glasses

samoa joe and shibata find out that hook needs glasses.

[mini drabble]

“Hold on a second,” Hook says, stopping Joe and Shibata from going anywhere. He goes into his bag, grabs a pair of glasses out, and puts them on. “Alright, now let’s go.”

Joe and Shibata look at each other in shock for a moment before looking back at Hook.

“Okay, hold on; time out,” Joe says, making a T with his hands.

Hook frowns, already looking annoyed. “Bro, what?”

“You wear glasses?”

“Yeah?”

“And never thought to tell us?”

“No? It wasn’t important.”

“It is important! I’ve never seen you put contacts in or take them out, ever.”

“That’s cause I don’t wear contacts.”

“What- so you’ve just been flying blind in matches, hoping you’re hitting an opponent and not your teammate?”

“Dude, I’m not that blind. Things are just a little blurry for me sometimes. It’s not that serious.”

“Oh my god,” Joe groans. “This is insane. Shibata, can you believe this?”

Shibata just looks happy to finally be able to speak as he begins typing on his phone. “The glasses frame your face nicely.”

“Thank you, Shibata!” Hook smiles. “See? At least he gets it.”

Joe pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “Jesus Christ, we have got a lot to learn.”

[are-we-really-doing-this]

Y'all see why I feel the way I do about the singlet now?

[toriluvsnickwayne]

Good luck

Hook x (fiancé) reader

Requested : yes/no

Welcome to Forbidden Door where Excalibur, Taz, and Y/N are set to commentate on an exciting match. Competitors like Samoa Joe, Katsuyori Shibata, and Hook are introduced as they make their way to the ring. The crowd erupts with cheers as the match gets underway. Chris Jericho joins the mix, creating tension in the arena. Hook shares a sweet moment with Y/N before heading back to the ring. The match unfolds with intense action, showcasing the skills of each competitor. In the end, Hook emerges victorious with a pin on Jericho. Celebrations ensue backstage as Taz, Y/N , Joe, Shibata, and Hook plan to grab a bite to eat. Hook and Y/N share a romantic moment before heading out together.

Masterlist

Y/N’s POV:

"Welcome to Forbidden Door, folks! I'm Excalibur, and joining me at the commentator table are Taz and Y/N! We've got a thrilling match ahead, so let's get ready to rumble!"

Justin Roberts, the "Dapper Yapper", steps up to the microphone to introduce the competitors.

"First, making his way to the ring, Samoa Joe!"

The crowd erupts as Samoa Joe makes his entrance.

Justin Roberts continues, "Next, from Tokyo, Japan. The Wrestler Katsuyori Shibata!"

Shibata's music plays as he makes his way to the ring.

Justin Roberts announces, "And finally, he is Hook!"

Taz exclaims, "And there's the bat symbol! Beautiful sight, folks!"

Y/N adds, "I'm so proud of Hook. He's ready to put it all on the line tonight!"

The crowd cheers as Hook makes his entrance, joining Joe and Shibata in the ring.

Just then, as Chris Jerichos music hit the arena erupted in boos as Justin Roberts' voice echoed through the speakers. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the FTW Champion Chris Jericho!"

As Jericho's music played, Hook appeared beside me, his eyes locked on mine. "Hey, Mamas," he whispered, his lips brushing against my ear. "You look beautiful tonight."

My heart skipped a beat as he leaned in closer, his lips meeting mine in a soft, sweet kiss.

"Ah, damn, Hook! Save some of that love for the ring!" Taz joked, his voice breaking the spell.

Hook grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Can't help it, dad. My girl is a real work of art."

With one last wink, he turned and made his way back to the ring, ready to face off against his opponents. I watched him go, my heart swelling with pride and love.

"Looks like someone's got a fan in the commentary booth, folks!" Excalibur teased, his voice full of amusement.

Taz chuckled beside me. "Yeah, and that someone is clearly smitten!"

I blushed, feeling my face heat up.

(Go to break)

Excalibur begins, “Welcome back to Forbidden Door, folks! We've got a thrilling match ahead, featuring Hook, Samoa Joe, and Katsuyori Shibata taking on Big Bill, Chris Jericho, and Jeff Cobb! And Hook's got some extra motivation tonight, courtesy of a good luck kiss from his 'Mamas'... or should I say, his beautiful fiancée, Y/N?”

Y/N laughs, "Hey, stop it, Excalibur!"

Taz chimes in, "Leave my soon-to-be daughter-in-law alone, Excalibur! She's taken, by the way... by my son, Hook!"

Excalibur continues, "Well, Hook's certainly got the skills to take on this formidable team. But Big Bill's power and Jericho's experience are not to be underestimated..."

Y/N exclaims, "Oh, nice move by Hook! That T-Bone was flawless, baby!"

Taz adds, "Yeah, but Jericho's not going down without a fight. He's got some tricks up his own sleeve... but my son's got this, for sure!"

Excalibur announces, "Shibata's taking it to Jeff Cobb now! This match is intense, folks! The action's non-stop!"

Y/N reacts, "Samoa Joe's got Big Bill in a chokehold! This could be it... oh my gosh!"

Taz exclaims, "No way, Jericho breaks it up! But Hook's not giving up... he's fighting for his future wife's honor, and his own pride!"

Excalibur declares, "And there it is! Hook gets the pin on Jericho! What a match! Looks like that good luck kiss from his fiancée paid off, big time!"

(Cut to a video package for the next match, showing the six competitors for the TNT title ladder match.)

Hook walks over to the commentary table, grinning, and says, "Hey, what's up guys? Just thought I'd drop by and celebrate my win... and maybe get some commentary tips from my beautiful fiancée."

Y/N laughs and playfully rolls her eyes, saying, "Oh, Hook. You're such a charmer.”

Taz chimes in, "Yeah, yeah. Save it for the post-match interview, Hook."

Shibata and Samoa Joe appeared behind Hook, Shibata grabbing him by the arm, and Joe says, "Cmon, lover boy! Let her be, she's got work to do, and YOU have a shower to take! You're starting to smell like a wrestler."

Y/N and Taz burst out laughing.

Taz adds, "Yeah, someone's got to keep Hook in check!"

(After forbidden door is over)

Taz and Y/N head backstage, searching for Hook, Joe, and Shibata. They finally find them in a dressing room, with Hook munching on chips and Joe and Shibata deep in conversation.

"Hey, guys! Great matches tonight!" Taz exclaims. "How about we celebrate with some food? My treat! I know this great spot nearby that's open late."

Joe and Shibata nod in agreement, and Hook grins, "Sounds good to me. I'm starving! And I could use a drink or two."

They all head out to their cars, with Hook and Y/N riding together. As they reach the car, Hook opens the door for Y/N, and she slides in, smiling up at him. Hook follows, and they share a few kisses before he starts the engine.

"You know, I think we could be a little late to dinner," Hook says with a sly grin, glancing towards the backseat. "We could, uh, take a detour."

Author’s Note: Heyyyyy ik I took a little break n thank yall for being patient I’ve got over a full week of fics to publish so that should keep u all good and I’m gonna start writing the fic idea abt the live triangle w Dom, Damian, and Jey when I feel like it and any new request I have/will receive. Anyways lots of love as always - a very tired Tori💋❤️

[maritotoy]

MAUGA X READER (GENDER NEUTRA)

Warning: Violence(Slight) & A bit of swearing

- A Little Bit of Mistake…

You are a part of the team of Overwatch team.

You are a healer and a sniper. This means that if anything ever happens to anyone on this mission, you have to take action fast so they can live. But what about if something happens to you instead? The mission will be compromised, no matter what.

Although you were a skilled healer, some think you were the next Ana, the former army sharpshooter, who is still active out there today.

You’re not sure if it’s because your skills came from Ana or if your abilities evolved in response to your situation. Either way, everyone on this team has been through some shit, so maybe you just need some help too.

Anyway, you're on a mission at the Coral Museum & Learning Center in a museum at Samoa.

It's where you meet your teammates.

The place is crowded with students as well. As you're walking through the exhibit halls, you hear explosion somewhere close by.

The building shakes violently, like it is about to collapse. You see a student running towards you screaming for cover. She bumps into you and falls down as her backpack falls onto the ground with a loud thud. You quickly grab her backpack and lift her up, before she gets hurt.

"Get to the nearest and safest exit," you say. "We have to get you away!" The young lady nods her head before you carry her over to one of the doors. It slides open easily and you quickly usher the girl out, shutting it behind you. After ensuring she is safely on the other side, you ran towards where the explosion had occurred. The area is littered with debris everywhere. Some people lie unconscious on the ground and others seem fine.

The only casualty seems to be an older guy laying motionless on the ground. He looks pretty beat up, but alive. Maybe he'll make it. You quickly run over to him and check his breathing. It's normal. Thank God...

You sighed in relief as you heard gunshots and your teammates' voices yelling from farther in the distance. Good. Now it seems you have found where your team went. Now you just have to go and find them and help them.

Hopefully, that didn't cost too much effort. You just have to hope your friends weren't hurt too badly while you were gone.

With your shotgun in hand, you took off running, towards the direction you heard your friends shouting in. Once you got past the rubble, you saw the group of four fighting against four different Talon soldiers. They were holding back their assailants by using various weapons.

That is impressive.

You admire their teamwork. Their teamwork might have made the difference between their survival and theirs.

You hide into a corner of the room and take aim with your rifle. Your finger tightens around the trigger and you pull, watching as your shot hits a Talon soldier squarely in the chest, causing him to fall to the ground dead immediately. You smile to yourself as you remember what that felt like during training. You don't know why you enjoyed shooting so much, or what it would do to someone else, but right now you were having fun with it. It seemed that every time you pulled the trigger, there was a new person that you shot down.

You hear your teammates calling out for assistance but the Talon soldiers are getting bolder and you can tell they aren't going to give in.

You start reloading your shotgun, which seems to have gotten heavier. Before, you had only managed two bullets each. This time it felt like three. You guess this gun does have more power than it lets on. As you fire multiple shots, more Talons fall on top of their comrades.

It feels exhilarating firing these bullets. Even though they don't seem to affect you directly, it makes you feel powerful in a way that nothing else could possibly do.

When you don't see your enemy anymore, you lower your weapon and ran towards your team as their medical support. They look quite shaken up, but none of them seem to be bleeding anywhere. Thank goodness. You're sure the wound isn't as severe as it seems.

You reach them, ready to assist them.

"Y/N, We still can't back down just yet! Our mission is to stop Talon!" You sigh, but agree with them nonetheless.

It won't do any good to turn tail now. Besides, if you really want to help, you may as well do everything possible. You can handle your own injuries if need be, but they will still be safer here with you instead of being alone. "I will continue to remain vigilant. If something else occurs, I will act accordingly." You reassured. Although you'd rather be doing your job with them, that is your decision to make.

You see them nod in agreement, and they both leave after thanking you profusely for sticking with them through everything, even though things seemed to be getting desperate.

The team continues to fight off the remaining Talon soldiers.

Eventually, one Talon soldier manages to follow you and laughing at the sight of your team members fighting back to back, and then face your back and yours alone as you run.

This gives him the upper hand since he saw you running alone. So, he slowly advances towards you with his two devastating guns.

"HaHa! Coming for ya!" He taunted before raising his gun.

He shoots, but you manage to dodge.

One bullet grazes your arm, making it sting. You hold back your scream and force your adrenaline to push through the pain. You quickly move forward to finish this bastard once and for all.

As you're rushing towards the man, he swings his guns at you and fires several bullets. Luckily, you were able to dodge them, but a few graze your shoulder when you move back.

You try hard not to let that bother you, but it's starting to get harder to keep your composure.

You hide behind one of the fallen buildings, trying to steady your heartbeat.

"Motherf*ck*r..." You whisper to yourself, panting.

At least you were able to dodge most of his shots and his bullets missed you by a wide margin. Still, you were injured by them.

You hear loud footsteps and loud thuds and you were certain it was the guy who's been chasing you.

You peek around the wall, and the man in question appears.

"Hey. Where's the rest of your teammates? I was hoping we could play together," the man smirks, clearly wanting revenge.

His face was covered with dirt and was clearly looking for you, so you decided to stay hidden.

After all, it wasn't worth provoking him. You couldn't afford to risk a fight with him.

A hulking figure with a heavily armored exoskeleton. His imposing presence and intimidating stature make him a force to be reckoned with.

He towers over everyone and almost always has his eyes locked on something specific, including you.

He grins and chuckles before saying, "What's wrong little rabbit? Don'tcha wanna play with me? I know you can fight! Everyone can! Come on, it wouldn't kill you to show me a trick or two." He laughs loudly and raises his arms up. "Come on, show me something amazing~"

You knew better than to fight with a giant, dangerous loose cannon, who is very likely more stronger than you are.

Mauga grins. He takes a step forward to your hiding spot as he lifts up his chaingun, "I know you can do it, little bunny. Show me what you've got~" He smiles widely at you.

You see how much he's enjoying this and he is f*cking annoying in your point of view.

As Mauga was to take another step forward to your hiding spot, you jump up from your spot and attack him in hopes that it will scare the crap out of him.

But unfortunately for you, Mauga doesn't flinch or look scared in the slightest. He simply shrugs your attack off.

As if his body is immune with bullets.

Then he uses his loud and huge jump to knock you back, causing you to tumble down and fall to the ground. You quickly scramble to get your feet underneath you very weakly.

You quickly turn and point your gun at him, aiming at his throat. Unfortunately, he just stands there.

He looks down at your gun and laughs, "Oh no, you little bunny. No need to worry about that. I'm too strong to be killed with a toy gun."

Your eyes opened wide in shock and your gun lowers slightly.

That was a stupid mistake.

"Well then." Mauga begins to move his body closer to you.

You quickly raise your gun and prepare to shoot again but there was a loud earthquake as the building around the two of you shook violently.

A large piece of metal and rocks falls from the ceiling, crashing on top of the two of you.

You feel your head hit the concrete floor hard, causing you to lose your vision momentarily for a second.

Once your vision recovers, two of you were trap under a huge sheet of metal. You begin moving your hands beneath the heavy metal as you try to break free of it. You hear Mauga grunt beside you, and you quickly face him with his leg trapped under the sheet of huge rocks.

Mauga looks up at you with an evil grin on his face as he starts laughing, "Awful, isn't it?" You growl in anger, "Do you not experience even a tiny bit of pain?" you said unbelievably.

"Maybe that's your issue with my game...maybe you shouldn't play my game so often.." He says, obviously enjoying himself.

His laughter makes you even angrier and soon you were trying to get off the huge mess but it was proving difficult with how tightly wedged you were underneath the weight of the sheet of metal and rocks crushing you together. Mauga watches your attempts to break free with amusement as you groan under the immense pressure.

You sighed loudly.

"I hate you." You spit(not literally) at him.

"Yeah, I can tell. That's one hell of a lot of hatred." Mauga replies, amused.

"How is this funny?! Do you understand how horrible you are!?" You shout, frustrated and upset that he was having such great success while you struggled to break free.

"Why don't you ask your teammates about that. Maybe they can teach you some real compassion." Mauga suggests smugly, laughing.

You stared at his smug grin as he laughed and he continued to tease you. You didn't say anything as you just clenched your fists and glared daggers into him. Once the shaking stopped, you removed the pieces of rock that had landed on top of you and looked at him dead in the eye.

You called for help, but there was no response. Your teammates must be far too focused on killing the other Talons and saving the others. Well, fine. They should concentrate on that anyway.

You had bigger problems to deal with anyways.

You exhaled deeply, relieved that at least his leg is stuck in a massive pile of boulders, even if you were both bound together alone on the trapped broken building. As you tried to break out of the debris, your arms began to hurt. The rocks were too heavy for you to lift them up with your physical strength.

"Tch!" You grumble quietly in annoyance as you start to lift up your left arm, pulling at your shoulders and neck. Nothing. It only hurt more. You pull with all your might, trying your hardest to break free, even though that's not really helping at the moment.

"Your trying awfully hard there, little bunny. You think those rocks have grown legs? I don't mind waiting for the right time to make myself known~" Mauga smirks evilly at you and you grit your teeth to try and hold onto the stubborn rocks as long as you can.

But after a couple minutes, you finally give up. It' no use anymore. The rock is too heavy. You sigh dejectedly and stare angrily at the giant man who caused your current predicament.

"You won't last much longer like this." He states.

"No shit. You can keep dreaming, asshole." You sneer at him angrily.

Mauga's smirk grows even wider. "Ahahaha, you're right. You'll be dead within the hour." He chuckles. "But I don't mean that figuratively. Believe me." His sinister voice sends chills down your spine.

He stares. "I'll be quite literal with you, you see, so don't worry."

He stops right in front of you and stares you straight in the eye. His dark, glowing eyes were staring down on you intently, making shivers run up and down your spine. You wanted to look away, but you couldn't. Those eyes were unnerving you and sending a deep sense of fear into your heart.

"Now, let me introduce myself~ My name is Mauga. And you are?" He asked.

He seemed excited to meet you. He wanted to see how strong you are before killing you.

What an Irony.

You shake your head at his stupid question before responding with an answer, "...Y/N." You watch as he tilts his head to one side curiously, "Yes, my name is Y/N. That's all you need to know, asswipe." You spat.

"Wow, such a big mouth." Mauga chuckles. "Let's see, what else should I know about you.."

He pauses and grins. "Oh yes! Let's see. What was your favorite color?" He asks.

You narrow your eyebrows. Why is he asking such random things? Does he seriously want to know about your life story? You're already pretty fucking traumatized by everything going on. It's not like you're gonna talk about the color of my favorite candy bar or the fact that I used to eat marshmallows during the summers. You think.

Before you can respond, he adds, "Hmmm, maybe your favorite season? Spring, summer...Autumn? Winter?"

"Ughhh, why don't you just f*ck off and go die?!" You yell angrily.

He laughs loudly at your choice of words and responds to your comment, "It's pretty rare for a bunny to call me 'F*cker' instead of 'Oi, Handsome~'."

You glare at him and bite your lip as you close your eyes. After few moments, you sigh softly before looking over to Mauga, feeling yourself calm down a little and a small smile forming on your face,

"How is your leg?" You asked, focusing on the rock blocking his leg.

"Not too bad~." Mauga answers happily, clearly pleased with the question.

You fakely snort and roll your eyes lightly. It seems like every word he says is going to piss you off.

"For someone your size, you seem quite weak." He chuckles.

"Is it just your way of talking or do you actually mean that? Because that sounds so f*cking dumb." You reply.

Mauga merely laughs. "Don't you dare insult my words, rabbit...you may think they're pretty silly to me but I swear, when you're as tough as I am, you learn not to judge a book by its cover, ya know?" He responds sarcastically.

You roll your eyes at his stupid remark and huff angrily, "Whatever, idiot. I don't care what you think, I have bigger things to do."

"Like defeat me?" He asks.

"Or kill you." You correct, "But since we're already here, I guess we could try."

The two of you stare each other down with an intense gaze, waiting for the other to make their first move.

Eventually Mauga breaks the eye contact first and laughs, "Good luck~" and his massive frame simply laid there, unconcerned about his leg becoming entangled in the debris.

You glare at him in frustration and then turn your attention back to the huge mess that trapped you with him.

You try to lift it up with all your strength but it wouldn't budge, it was like trying to lift up a mountain.

You let out another frustrated noise and grab one of the small rock nearby and toss it towards Mauga, hitting him on the back.

He seems unfazed, turning to look at you and then grinning, "Ah, come on, don't waste your energy, Y/N~ Just kill me quickly, I'm bored and impatient."

You glare at him again, "You're not getting any pity from me! Not ever." You snap.

You felt your blood begin to boil and you weren't sure whether you were angry at him or at yourself.

There's no telling how badly your injuries are hurting but you're struggling desperately to get these stupid rocks off of him and the ones that trapped you both.

You were a medic, support, and also the team's backup but, even healers like you needs medical assistance too.

You were badly hurt and this time.

YOU COULDN'T HELP YOURSELF.

Mauga sighs and runs his fingers through his hair and shakes his head at you, "You're so stubborn, Y/N..."

You scowl at him and continue to struggle, refusing to give in. You didn't want to give up so easily, despite the pain that you're in, but you've never been good at resisting a direct order.

Mauga extends his gigantic arms at Y/N and gestures for her to come forward. You raise your eyebrow at him skeptically and cross your arms in front of your chest, defiantly glowering at him.

"Come now, little bunny," Mauga taunts, "Don't make me force you~."

"Go ahead, make a fool of yourself." You say in a cold tone.

"Very well. Let's see how well you react to pain then." He smirks evily and you instantly feel your body tense up, ready for him to push you aside while he uses his muscular and giant arms to choke you but instead he throws his big hands forward, making you fall on top of him while grunting in surprise.

"Hmph, I knew that would work!" Mauga exclaims triumphantly as he picks you up in ease.

As you sit there, stunned, still dazed from the sudden blow, Mauga holds you against his large body with ease, as if you weighed nothing at all.

He leans down so that his face is only inches away from yours, almost whispering to you so that only you can hear him.

"Do you know what it feels like when you fall into water? It feels like being caught in slow motion and unable to stop, but you can't, either. You can only move your body slowly, but slowly enough so that you don't drown."

Mauga's grin widens into a full blown grin of mischief.

"I don't understand... what does this have anything to do with me?" You whisper back. Mauga chuckles and shakes his head.

"Nothing~ I'm just playing with your mind, Y/N~ You're gonna find out soon enough~." He replies.

He looks directly into your terrified eyes for a brief moment, before he starts laughing hysterically.

"What? I am confused." You ask. He bursts into laughter once more. You look up at him confused, unsure whether he's being serious or not.

"HahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He laughs very loudly that sooner or later the place will crash you both to death, tears beginning to fall from his eyes from the overwhelming laughter, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

His laugh eventually subsides as he wipes away his tears. He glances down at you and smiles, "Don't fret, little bunny! Your death won't be so tragic after all~"

"I'm not dying! And even if I did die, you'll still be alive!" You shout angrily, clenching your fists tightly.

"That's true~ But then again, what's the point in living if I'm still going to have to deal with your pathetic attitude right now. How boring~ I wonder what kind of fun you'd be without this annoying attitude."

He smiles at you, a sickening sweet smile.

The smile makes your skin crawl but you felt your anger start to fade, your heart skipping a beat and your breathing becoming shallow.

The way he was looking at you, you couldn't help but feel vulnerable and exposed.

He takes notice of how quiet you were becoming.

A soft smile forms on his face. "You're finally listening~" His dark tone turns into a sinister chuckle.

"Yes! Now I get it! You're a crazy psychopath!" You scream, throwing your arms in the air exasperatedly. He cackles madly at your reaction.

"Now that was satisfying, little bunny. You really did grow on me!" Mauga continues to laugh.

"Now let' me finish my sentence. I'm sorry about not telling you earlier, I know that you probably thought that I was just trying to annoy you and my leg might be injured but the truth is..." He grins mischievously.

He was trying to hold of his laughter and lifts the huge boulder that had been trapping his leg.

He completely destroyed the boulder into a complete dust making you shock and flabbergasted.

"What the fuck!?" You exclaimed, jumping up onto your feet. You were shocked.

"Well, if you must know, I was saving that for later." He responded smugly, walking toward you, his huge hands reaching for your waist.

You immediately tried to pull away from him but he catches you before you could. Your face goes red and you struggle wildly to get away but to no avail. "Relax, I'll let go of you once you do something I ask~" Mauga said.

"Fuck you." You hissed, glaring daggers at him, "Just give me one reason why I should trust you."

"Because I said so~" He replied, smirking down at you.

"So you were bluffing then.." You mumble, glaring at him.

Mauga shakes his head, "Oh no~ which part? That I lied about killing you or that I'm gonna let go of you anytime soon...?"

You blushed hard but at the same time, your heart started beating faster.

"No. No. No! NO!! YOU ASSHOLE! Don't you fucking dare touch me you perverted bastard!" You yelled, squirming beneath his grasp.

Mauga watched them squirmed, lifting them and smiles as he watched them contently.

END OF PART 1

Please pardon me. I've never published a writing tale on Tumblr before. I'm not sure whether I still have that talent, ughh.

[gethooked]

Babies first wrestling show ~ HOOK imagine

HOOK and reader bring their first child to see HOOK wrestle Samoa Joe for the title. And add Taz as a part of the story. - requested by @sunrise28sblog

It's wednesday, you know what that means. Dynamite day! It was also your son's first wrestling show! Tyler wanted you and your son to be there for his very first world championship match. You agreed because before you had your son you wrestled to but decided to give up wrestling and focus on your little family with Tyler.

You were excited because you missed your co-workers who became like your family over time. But you were mostly excited because it would be your son's first wrestling show ever. Tyler, Taz, your son, and you had got to the arena early so you guys could take pictures and have your son run around the ring since he has also been interested in wrestling. Just like his father and grandpa. After a while of your son running around the ring you decided that it was time to head backstage so the crew could finish setting up and that way you guys weren't in their way.

Once you got backstage you noticed The Lads, and ran up to them and gave them all big bear hugs. Last time you saw them was on long island. Your son decided that he wanted to walk around with his grandpa so you let him while you caught up with The Lads. Throughout the show your son would cheer for his favorites. It was tough for him during the Top Flight and Private Party match.

He loved Top Flight since they were basically his uncles. And loved Private Party because why not. Once it got to Tyler’s match your son got scared. He knew something was going to happen. But you told him that dad would be fine.

As Tyler came out your son was cheering the loudest he ever has for his dad. As the match started your son was smiling and cheering, “Let’s go dad, beat Joe’s ass!” your son would say. You were surprised but let it go and would tell him later on not to say that. As the match went on he got more worried for his dad but still watched hoping Tyler would pull through and win. Once Tyler hit his head you knew something was wrong but tried not to show due to your son being with you.

After the match and Tyler telling Joe to come back your son was so angry with his dad. Once he got back he ran to his dad and told him not to do that again. And Tyler would say why he was trying to prove a point. After reassuring your son he would go to medical to get checked out. After he left Taz came by and tried to distract his grandson because he knew he was worried about his dad.

He told him that his dad was a badass and not to worry about him. And that he got his badassery from his dad. (your son's grandpa). After a while he would fall asleep on Taz’s lap and Tyler would come get you and your son and take you guys back to the hotel. As he was putting your guy's son to bed he showed him all the bruises and scars he got and told him that they are his battle scars and that he would get them too when he’s older if he decided to wrestle.

After your son fell asleep, Tyler jumped in your guy's bed with you and right away you whispered to him “Don’t do that stupid shit again, you almost gave me a heart attack!” Tyler would say “I promise I won’t do it again.” But in reality he’s too stubborn to listen and would keep on proving how badass he really is.

Taglist: @99hook @carlybow

[rhysdarbinizedarby]

Couch surfer in his 30s. Oscar winner in his 40s. Why the whole world wants Taika

**Notes: This is very long post!**

Good Weekend

In his 30s, he was sleeping on couches. By his 40s, he’d directed a Kiwi classic, taken a Marvel movie to billion-dollar success, and won an Oscar. Meet Taika Waititi, king of the oddball – and one of New Zealand’s most original creative exports.

Taika Waititi: “Be a nice person and live a good life. And just don’t be an arsehole.”

The good news? Taika Waititi is still alive. I wasn’t sure. The screen we were speaking through jolted savagely a few minutes ago, with a cacophonous bang and a confused yelp, then radio silence. Now the Kiwi ­ filmmaker is back, grinning like a loon: “I just broke the f---ing table, bro!”

Come again? “I just smashed this f---ing table and glass flew everywhere. It’s one of those old annoying colonial tables. It goes like this – see that?” Waititi says, holding up a folding furniture leg. “I hit the mechanism and it wasn’t locked. Anyway …”

I’m glad he’s fine. The stuff he’s been saying from his London hotel room could incur biblical wrath. We’re talking about his latest project, Next Goal Wins, a movie about the American Samoa soccer team’s quest to score a solitary goal, 10 years after suffering the worst loss in the game’s international history – a 31-0 ­ignominy to Australia – but our chat strays into ­spirituality, then faith, then religion.

“I don’t personally believe in a big guy sitting on a cloud judging everyone, but that’s just me,” Waititi says, deadpan. “Because I’m a grown-up.”

This is the way his interview answers often unfold. Waititi addresses your topic – dogma turns good people bad, he says, yet belief itself is worth lauding – but bookends every response with a conspiratorial nudge, wink, joke or poke. “Regardless of whether it’s some guy living on a cloud, or some other deity that you’ve made up – and they’re all made up – the message across the board is the same, and it’s important: Be a nice person, and live a good life. And just don’t be an arsehole!”

Not being an arsehole seems to have served Waititi, 48, well. Once a national treasure and indie darling (through the quirky tenderness of his breakout New Zealand films Boy in 2010 and Hunt for the Wilderpeople in 2016), Waititi then became a star of both the global box office (through his 2017 entry into the Marvel Universe, Thor: Ragnarok, which grossed more than $1.3 billion worldwide) and then the Academy Awards (winning the 2020 best adapted screenplay Oscar for his subversive Holocaust dramedy JoJo Rabbit, in which he played an imaginary Hitler).

Waititi playing Adolf Hitler in the 2019 movie JoJo Rabbit. (Alamy)

A handsome devil with undeniable roguish charm, Waititi also slid seamlessly into style-icon status (attending this year’s Met Gala shirtless, in a floor-length gunmetal-grey Atelier Prabal Gurung wrap coat, with pendulous pearl necklaces), as well as becoming his own brand (releasing an eponymous line of canned ­coffee drinks) and bona fide Hollywood A-lister (he was introduced to his second wife, British singer Rita Ora, by actor Robert Pattinson at a barbecue).

Putting that platform to use, Waititi is an Indigenous pioneer and mentor, too, co-creating the critically acclaimed TV series Reservation Dogs, while co-founding the Piki Films production company, committed to promoting the next generation of storytellers – a mission that might sound all weighty and worthy, yet Waititi’s new wave of First Nations work is never earnest, always mixing hurt with heart and howling humour.

Waititi with wife Rita Ora at the 2023 Met Gala in May. (Getty Images)

Makes sense. Waititi is a byproduct of “the weirdest coupling ever” – his late Maori father from the Te Whanau-a-Apanui tribe was an artist, farmer and “Satan’s Slaves” bikie gang founder, while his Wellington schoolteacher mum descended from Russian Jews, although he’s not devout about her faith. (“No, I don’t practise,” he confirms. “I’m just good at everything, straight away.”)

He’s remained loyally tethered to his ­origin story, too – and to a cadre of creative Kiwi mates, including actors Jemaine Clement and Rhys Darby – never forgetting that not long before the actor/writer/producer/director was an industry maven, he was a penniless painter/photographer/ musician/comedian.

With no set title and no fixed address, he’s seemingly happy to be everything, everywhere (to everyone) all at once. “‘The universe’ is bandied around a lot these days, but I do believe in the kind of connective tissue of the universe, and the energy that – scientifically – we are made up of a bunch of atoms that are bouncing around off each other, and some of the atoms are just squished together a bit tighter than others,” he says, smiling. “We’re all made of the same stardust, and that’s pretty special.”

-----------------------------------------------

We’ve caught Waititi in a somewhat relaxed moment, right before the screen actors’ and media artists’ strike ends. He’s ­sensitive to the struggle but doesn’t deny enjoying the break. “I spent a lot of time thinking about writing, and not writing, and having a nice ­holiday,” he tells Good Weekend. “Honestly, it was a good chance just to recombobulate.”

Waititi, at right, with Hunt for the Wilderpeople actors, from left, Sam Neill, Rhys Darby and Julian Dennison. (Getty Images)

It’s mid-October, and he’s just headed to Paris to watch his beloved All Blacks in the Rugby World Cup. He’s deeply obsessed with the game, and sport in general. “Humans spend all of our time knowing what’s going to happen with our day. There’s no surprises ­any more. We’ve become quite stagnant. And I think that’s why people love sport, because of the air of unpredictability,” he says. “It’s the last great arena entertainment.”

The main filmic touchstone for Next Goal Wins (which premieres in Australian cinemas on New Year’s Day) would be Cool Runnings (1993), the unlikely true story of a Jamaican bobsled team, but Waititi also draws from genre classics such as Any Given Sunday and Rocky, sampling trusted tropes like the musical training montage. (His best one is set to Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears.)

Filming in Hawaii was an uplifting experience for the self-­described Polynesian Jew. “It wasn’t about death, or people being cruel to each other. Thematically, it was this simple idea, of getting a small win, and winning the game wasn’t even their goal – their goal was to get a goal,” he says. “It was a really sweet backbone.”

Waititi understands this because, growing up, he was as much an athlete as a nerd, fooling around with softball and soccer before discovering rugby league, then union. “There’s something about doing exercise when you don’t know you’re doing exercise,” he enthuses. “It’s all about the fun of throwing a ball around and trying to achieve something together.” (Whenever Waititi is in Auckland he joins his mates in a long-running weekend game of touch rugby. “And then throughout the week I work out every day. Obviously. I mean, look at me.”)

Auckland is where his kids live, too, so he spends as much time there as possible. Waititi met his first wife, producer Chelsea Winstanley, on the set of Boy in 2010, and they had two daughters, Matewa Kiritapu, 8, and his firstborn, Te Kainga O’Te Hinekahu, 11. (The latter is a derivative of his grandmother’s name, but he jokes with American friends that it means “Resurrection of Tupac” or “Mazda RX7″) Waititi and Winstanley split in about 2018, and he married the pop star Ora in 2022.

He offers a novel method for balancing work with parenthood … “Look, you just abandon them, and know that the experience will make them harder individuals later on in life. And it’s their problem,” he says. “I’m going to give them all of the things that they need, and I’m going to leave behind a decent bank ­account for their therapy, and they will be just like me, and the cycle will continue.”

Jokes aside – I think he’s joking – school holidays are always his, and he brings the girls onto the set of every movie he makes. “They know enough not to get in the way or touch anything that looks like it could kill you, and they know to be respectful and quiet when they need to. But they’re just very comfortable around filmmakers, which I’m really happy about, because eventually I hope they will get into the ­industry. One more year,” he laughs, “then they can leave school and come work for Dad.”

Theirs is certainly a different childhood than his. Growing up, he was a product of two worlds. His given names, for instance, were based on his appearance at birth: “Taika David” if he looked Maori (after his Maori grandfather) and “David Taika” if he looked Pakeha (after his white grandfather). His parents split when he was five, so he bounced between his dad’s place in Waihau Bay, where he went by the surname Waititi, and his mum, eight hours drive away in Wellington, where he went by Cohen (the last name on his birth ­certificate and passport).

Waititi was precocious, even charismatic. His mother Robin once told Radio New Zealand that people always wanted to know him, even as an infant: “I’d be on a bus with him, and he was that kind of baby who smiled at people, and next thing you know they’re saying, ‘Can I hold your baby?’ He’s always been a charmer to the public eye.”

He describes himself as a cool, sporty, good-looking nerd, raised on whatever pop culture screened on the two TV channels New Zealand offered in the early 1980s, from M*A*S*H and Taxi to Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson. He was well-read, too. When punished by his mum, he would likely be forced to analyse a set of William Blake poems.

He puts on a whimpering voice to describe their finances – “We didn’t have much monneeey” – explaining how his mum spent her days in the classroom but also worked in pubs, where he would sit sipping a raspberry lemonade, doodling drawings and writing stories. She took in ­ironing and cleaned houses; he would help out, learning valuable lessons he imparts to his kids. “And to random people who come to my house,” he says. “I’ll say, ‘Here’s a novel idea, wash this dish,’ but people don’t know how to do anything these days.”

“Every single character I’ve ever written has been based on someone I’ve known or met or a story I’ve stolen from someone.” - Taika Waititi

He loved entertaining others, clearly, but also himself, recording little improvised radio plays on a tape deck – his own offbeat versions of ET and Indiana Jones and Star Wars. “Great free stuff where you don’t have any idea what the story is as you’re doing it,” he says. “You’re just sort of making it up and enjoying the ­freedom of playing god in this world where you can make people and characters do whatever you want.”

His other sphere of influence lay in Raukokore, the tiny town where his father lived. Although Boy is not autobiographical, it’s deeply personal insofar as it’s filmed in the house where he grew up, and where he lived a life similar to that portrayed in the story, surrounded by his recurring archetypes: warm grandmothers and worldly kids; staunch, stoic mums; and silly, stunted men. “Every single character I’ve ever written has been based on someone I’ve known or met,” he says, “or a story I’ve stolen from someone.”

He grew to love drawing and painting, obsessed early on with reproducing the Sistine Chapel. During a 2011 TED Talk on creativity, Waititi describes his odd subject matter, from swastikas and fawns to a picture of an old lady going for a walk … upon a sword … with Robocop. “My father was an outsider artist, even though he wouldn’t know what that meant,” Waititi told the audience in Doha. “I love the naive. I love people who can see things through an innocent viewpoint. It’s inspiring.”

After winning Best Adapted Screenplay Academy Award for JoJo Rabbit in 2020. (Getty Images)

It was an interesting time in New Zealand, too – a coming-of-age decade in which the Maori were rediscovering their culture. His area was poor, “but only ­financially,” he says. “It’s very rich in terms of the ­people and the culture.” He learned kapa haka – the songs, dances and chants performed by competing tribes at cultural events, or to honour people at funerals and graduations – weddings, parties, ­anything. “Man, any excuse,” he explains. “A big part of doing them is to uplift your spirits.”

Photography was a passion, so I ask what he shot. “Just my penis. I sent them to people, but we didn’t have phones, so I would print them out, post them. One of the first dick pics,” he says. Actually, his lens was trained on regular people. He watches us still – in airports, ­restaurants. “Other times late at night, from a tree. Whatever it takes to get the story. You know that.”

He went to the Wellington state school Onslow College and did plays like Androcles and the Lion, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and The Crucible. His crew of arty students eventually ended up on stage at Bats Theatre in the city, where they would perform haphazard comedy shows for years.

“Taika was always rebellious and wild in his comedy, which I loved,” says his high school mate Jackie van Beek, who became a longtime collaborator, including working with Waititi on a Tourism New Zealand campaign this year. “I remember he went through a phase of turning up in bars around town wearing wigs, and you’d try and sit down and have a drink with him but he’d be doing some weird character that would invariably turn up in some show down the track.”

He met more like-minded peers at Victoria University, including Jemaine Clement (who’d later become co-creator of Flight of the Conchords). During a 2019 chat with actor Elijah Wood, Waititi ­describes he and Clement clocking one another from opposite sides of the library one day: a pair of Maoris experiencing hate at first sight, based on a mutual suspicion of cultural appropriation. (Clement was wearing a traditional tapa cloth Samoan shirt, and Waititi was like: “This motherf---er’s not Samoan.” Meanwhile, Waititi was wearing a Rastafarian beanie, and Clement was like, “This ­motherf---er’s not Jamaican.”)

With Jemaine Clement in 2014. (Getty Images)

But they eventually bonded over Blackadder and Fawlty Towers, and especially Kenny Everett, and did comedy shows together everywhere from Edinburgh to Melbourne. Waititi was almost itinerant, spending months at a time busking, or living in a commune in Berlin. He acted in a few small films, and then – while playing a stripper on a bad TV show – realised he wanted to try life behind the camera. “I became tired of being told what to do and ordered around,” he told Wellington’s Dominion Post in 2004. “I remember sitting around in the green room in my G-string ­thinking, ‘Why am I doing this? Just helping someone else to realise their dream.’ ”

He did two strong short films, then directed his first feature – Eagle vs Shark (2007) – when he was 32. He brought his mates along (Clement, starring with Waititi’s then-girlfriend Loren Horsley), setting something of a pattern in his career: hiring friends instead of constantly navigating new working relationships. “If you look at things I’m doing,” he tells me, “there’s ­always a few common denominators.”

Sam Neill says Waititi is the exemplar of a new New Zealand humour. “The basis of it is this: we’re just a little bit crap at things.”

This gang of collaborators shares a common Kiwi vibe, too, which his longtime friend, actor Rhys Darby, once coined ���the comedy of the mundane”. Their new TV show, Our Flag Means Death, for example, leans heavily into the mundanity of pirate life – what happens on those long days at sea when the crew aren’t unsheathing swords from scabbards or burying treasure.

Waititi plays pirate captain Blackbeard, centre, in Our Flag Means Death, with Rhys Darby, left, and Rory Kinnear. (Google Images)

Sam Neill, who first met Waititi when starring in Hunt for the Wilderpeople, says Waititi is the exemplar of a new New Zealand humour. “And I think the basis of it is this,” says Neill. “We’re just a little bit crap at things, and that in itself is funny.” After all, Neill asks, what is What We Do in The Shadows (2014) if not a film (then later a TV show) about a bunch of vampires who are pretty crap at being vampires, ­living in a pretty crappy house, not quite getting busted by crappy local cops? “New Zealand often gets named as the least corrupt country in the world, and I think it’s just that we would be pretty crap at being corrupt,” Neill says. “We don’t have the capacity for it.”

Waititi’s whimsy also spurns the dominant on-screen oeuvre of his homeland – the so-called “cinema of ­unease” exemplified by the brutality of Once Were Warriors (1994) and the emotional peril of The Piano (1993). Waititi still explores pathos and pain, but through laughter and weirdness. “Taika feels to me like an ­antidote to that dark aspect, and a gift somehow,” Neill says. “And I’m grateful for that.”

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Something happened to Taika Waititi when he was about 11 – something he doesn’t go into with Good Weekend, but which he considered a betrayal by the adults in his life. He ­mentioned it only recently – not the ­moment itself, but the lesson he learnt: “That you cannot and must not rely on grown-ups to help you – you’re basically in the world alone, and you’re gonna die alone, and you’ve just gotta make it all for yourself,” he told Irish podcast host James Brown. “I basically never forgave people in positions of responsibility.”

What does that mean in his work? First, his finest films tend to reflect the clarity of mind possessed by children, and the unseen worlds they create – fantasies conjured up as a way to understand or overcome. (His mum once summed up the main ­message of Boy: “The ­unconditional love you get from your children, and how many of us waste that, and don’t know what we’ve got.”)

Second, he’s suited to movie-making – “Russian roulette with art” – because he’s drawn to disruptive force and chaos. And that in turn produces creative defiance: allowing him to reinvigorate the Marvel Universe by making superheroes fallible, or tell a Holocaust story by making fun of Hitler. “Whenever I have to deal with someone who’s a boss, or in charge, I challenge them,” he told Brown, “and I really do take whatever they say with a pinch of salt.”

It’s no surprise then that Waititi was comfortable leaping from independent films to the vast complexity of Hollywood blockbusters. He loves the challenge of coordinating a thousand interlocking parts, requiring an army of experts in vocations as diverse as construction, sound, art, performance and logistics. “I delegate a lot,” he says, “and share the load with a lot of people.”

“This is a cool concept, being able to ­afford whatever I want, as opposed to sleeping on couches until I was 35.” - Taika Waititi

But the buck stops with him. Time magazine named Waititi one of its Most Influential 100 People of 2022. “You can tell that a film was made by Taika Waititi the same way you can tell a piece was painted by Picasso,” wrote Sacha Baron Cohen. Compassionate but comic. Satirical but watchable. Rockstar but auteur. “Actually, sorry, but this guy’s really starting to piss me off,” Cohen concluded. “Can someone else write this piece?”

Directing Chris Hemsworth in 2017 in Thor: Ragnarok, which grossed more than $1.3 billion at the box office. (Alamy)

I’m curious to know how he stays grounded amid such adulation. Coming into the game late, he says, helped immensely. After all, Waititi was 40 by the time he left New Zealand to do Thor: Ragnarok. “If you let things go to your head, then it means you’ve struggled to find out who you are,” he says. “But I’ve always felt very comfortable with who I am.” Hollywood access and acclaim – and the pay cheques – don’t erase memories of poverty, either. “It’s more like, ‘Oh, this is a cool concept, being able to ­afford whatever I want, as opposed to sleeping on couches until I was 35.’ ” Small towns and strong tribes keep him in check, too. “You know you can’t piss around and be a fool, because you’re going to embarrass your family,” he says. “Hasn’t stopped me, though.”

Sam Neill says there was never any doubt Waititi would be able to steer a major movie with energy and imagination. “It’s no accident that the whole world wants Taika,” he says. “But his seductiveness comes with its own dangers. You can spread yourself a bit thin. The temptation will be to do more, more, more. That’ll be interesting to watch.”

Indeed, I find myself vicariously stressed out over the list of potential projects in Waititi’s future. A Roald Dahl animated series for Netflix. An Apple TV show based on the 1981 film Time Bandits. A sequel to What We Do In The Shadows. A reboot of Flash Gordon. A gonzo horror comedy, The Auteur, starring Jude Law. Adapting a cult graphic novel, The Incal, as a feature. A streaming series based on the novel Interior Chinatown. A film based on a Kazuo Ishiguro bestseller. Plus bringing to life the wildly popular Akira comic books. Oh, and for good measure, a new instalment of Star Wars, which he’s already warned the world will be … different.

“It’s going to change things,” he told Good Morning America. “It’s going to change what you guys know and expect.”

Did I say I was stressed for Waititi? I meant physically sick.

“Well…” he qualifies, “some of those things I’m just producing, so I come up with an idea or someone comes to me with an idea, and I shape how ‘it’s this kind of show’ and ‘here’s how we can get it made.’ It’s easier for me to have a part in those things and feel like I’ve had a meaningful role in the creative process, but also not having to do what I’ve always done, which is trying to control everything.”

In the 2014 mockumentary horror film What We Do in the Shadows, which he co-directed with Jemaine Clement. (Alamy)

What about moving away from the niche New Zealand settings he represented so well in his early work? How does he stay connected to his roots? “I think you just need to know where you’re from,” he says, “and just don’t forget that.”

They certainly haven’t forgotten him.

Jasmin McSweeney sits in her office at the New Zealand Film Commission in Wellington, surrounded by promotional posters Waititi signed for her two decades ago, when she was tasked with promoting his nascent talent. Now the organisation’s marketing chief, she talks to me after visiting the heart of thriving “Wellywood”, overseeing the traditional karakia prayer on the set of a new movie starring Geoffrey Rush.

Waititi isn’t the first great Kiwi filmmaker – dual Oscar-winner Jane Campion and blockbuster king Peter Jackson come to mind – yet his particular ascendance, she says, has spurred unparalleled enthusiasm. “Taika gave everyone here confidence. He always says, ‘Don’t sit around waiting for people to say, you can do this.’ Just do it, because he just did it. That’s the Taika effect.”

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Taika David Waititi is known for wearing everything from technicolour dreamcoats to pineapple print rompers, and today he’s wearing a roomy teal and white Isabel Marant jumper. The mohair garment has the same wispy frizz as his hair, which curls like a wave of grey steel wool, and connects with a shorn salty beard.

A stylish silver fox, it wouldn’t surprise anyone if he suddenly announced he was launching a fashion label. He’s definitely a commercial animal, to the point of directing television commercials for Coke and Amazon, along with a fabulous 2023 spot for Belvedere vodka starring Daniel Craig. He also joined forces with a beverage company in Finland (where “taika” means “magic”) to release his coffee drinks. Announcing the partnership on social media, he flagged that he would be doing more of this kind of stuff, too (“Soz not soz”).

Waititi has long been sick of reverent portrayals of Indigenous people talking to spirits.

There’s substance behind the swank. Fashion is a creative outlet but he’s also bought sewing machines in the past with the intention of designing and making clothes, and comes from a family of tailors. “I learnt how to sew a button on when I was very young,” he says. “I learnt how to fix holes or patches in your clothes, and darn things.”

And while he gallivants around the globe watching Wimbledon or modelling for Hermès at New York Fashion Week, all that glamour belies a depth of purpose, particularly when it comes to Indigenous representation.

There’s a moment in his new movie where a Samoan player realises that their Dutch coach, played by Michael Fassbender, is emotionally struggling, and he offers a lament for white people: “They need us.” I can’t help but think Waititi meant something more by that line – maybe that First Nations people have ­wisdom to offer if others will just listen?

“Weeelllll, a little bit …” he says – but from his intonation, and what he says next, I’m dead wrong. Waititi has long been sick of reverent ­portrayals of Indigenous people talking to kehua (spirits), or riding a ghost waka (phantom canoe), or playing a flute on a mountain. “Always the boring characters,” he says. “They’ve got no real contemporary relationship with the world, because they’re always living in the past in their spiritual ways.”

A scene from Next Goal Wins, filmed earlier this year. (Alamy)

He’s part of a vanguard consciously poking fun at those stereotypes. Another is the Navajo writer and director Billy Luther, who met Waititi at Sundance Film Festival back in 2003, along with Reservation Dogs co-creator Sterlin Harjo. “We were this group of outsiders trying to make films, when nobody was really biting,” says Luther. “It was a different time. The really cool thing about it now is we’re all working. We persevered. We didn’t give up. We slept on each other’s couches and hung out. It’s like family.”

Waititi has power now, and is known for using Indigenous interns wherever possible (“because there weren’t those opportunities when I was growing up”), making important introductions, offering feedback on scripts, and lending his name to projects through executive producer credits, too, which he did for Luther’s new feature film, Frybread Face and Me (2023).

He called Luther back from the set of Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) to offer advice on working with child actors – “Don’t box them into the characters you’ve ­created,” he said, “let them naturally figure it out on their own” – but it’s definitely harder to get Waititi on the phone these days. “He’s a little bitch,” Luther says, laughing. “Nah, there’s nothing like him. He’s a genius. You just knew he was going to be something. I just knew it. He’s my brother.“

I’ve been asked to explicitly avoid political questions in this interview, probably because Waititi tends to back so many causes, from child poverty and teenage suicide to a campaign protesting offshore gas and oil exploration near his tribal lands. But it’s hard to ignore his recent Instagram post, sharing a viral video about the Voice to Parliament referendum starring Indigenous Aussie rapper Adam Briggs. After all, we speak only two days after the proposal is defeated. “Yeah, sad to say but, Australia, you really shat the bed on that one,” Waititi says, pausing. “But go see my movie!”

About that movie – the early reviews aren’t great. IndieWire called it a misfire, too wrapped in its quirks to develop its arcs, with Waititi’s directorial voice drowning out his characters, while The Guardian called it “a shoddily made and strikingly unfunny attempt to tell an interesting story in an uninteresting way”. I want to know how he moves past that kind of criticism. “For a start, I never read reviews,” he says, concerned only with the opinion of people who paid for admission, never professional appraisals. “It’s not important to me. I know I’m good at what I do.”

Criticism that Indigenous concepts weren’t sufficiently explained in Next Goal Wins gets his back up a little, though. The film’s protagonist, Jaiyah Saelua, the first transgender football player in a FIFA World Cup qualifying match, is fa’afafine – an American Samoan identifier for someone with fluid genders – but there wasn’t much exposition of this concept in the film. “That’s not my job,” Waititi says. “It’s not a movie where I have to explain every facet of Samoan culture to an audience. Our job is to retain our culture, and present a story that’s inherently Polynesian, and if you don’t like it, you can go and watch any number of those other movies out there, 99 per cent of which are terrible.”

*notes: (there is video clip in the article)

Waititi sounds momentarily cranky, but he’s mostly unflappable and hilarious. He’s the kind of guy who prefers “Correctumundo bro!” to “Yes”. When our video connection is too laggy, he plays up to it by periodically pretending to be frozen, sitting perfectly still, mouth open, his big shifting eyeballs the only giveaway.

He’s at his best on set. Saelua sat next to him in Honolulu while filming the joyous soccer sequences. “He’s so chill. He just let the actors do their thing, giving them creative freedom, barely interjecting unless it was something important. His style matches the vibe of the Pacific people. We’re a very funny people. We like to laugh. He just fit perfectly.”

People do seem to love working alongside him, citing his ability to make productions fresh and unpredictable and funny. Chris Hemsworth once said that Waititi’s favourite gag is to “forget” that his microphone is switched on, so he can go on a pantomime rant for all to hear – usually about his disastrous Australian lead actor – only to “remember” that he’s wired and the whole crew is listening.

“I wouldn’t know about that, because I don’t listen to what other people say about anything – I’ve told you this,” Waititi says. “I just try to have fun when there’s time to have fun. And when you do that, and you bring people together, they’re more willing to go the extra mile for you, and they’re more willing to believe in the thing that you’re trying to do.”

Yes, he plays music between takes, and dances out of his director’s chair, but it’s really all about relaxing amid the immense pressure and intense privilege of making movies. “Do you know how hard it is just to get anything financed or green-lit, then getting a crew, ­getting producers to put all the pieces together, and then making it to set?” Waititi asks. “It’s a real gift, even to be working, and I feel like I have to remind ­people of that: enjoy this moment.”

Source: The Age

By: Konrad Marshall (December 1, 2023)

[mariacallous]

The Republicans’ legislative to-do list is nothing to scoff at. In addition to renewing Trump’s first term tax cuts and possibly imposing hyper-controversial tariffs on various imports, Johnson will need to pass a bill to fund the government. Democrats must not help him.

Time and again congressional Democrats have swept in to save Republican leaders – and Republican voters – from their own lawmakers. This generosity must end. The Dems must bleed the Republican party of its political capital at every opportunity, even if it means the American people experience some pain. On a Bulwark podcast this week, the writer Jonathan V Last channeled Alan Moore’s iconic comic book anti-hero Rorschach to describe the mentality Democrats should adopt: “The politicians will look up and shout ‘save us,’ and I’ll look down, and whisper ‘no.’”

Yes, Democrats should make the next four years of Republican governance as grueling and painful as possible. Do not help them pass a budget (if Johnson, as Last playfully notes, offers up DC statehood as an incentive for cooperation, we can have another conversation). Do not vote for a single cabinet nominee – even those who qualify as “adults in the room” (sorry, Marco Rubio). Relatedly, do not hold back from highlighting all the darkest aspects of said nominees’ backgrounds – from former Fox host Pete Hegseth’s alleged sexual assault to Robert F Kennedy’s purported role in the deaths of dozens during a 2019 measles outbreak in American Samoa.

While on the Hill, casual comity is fine. Lawmakers should continue to break bread and imbibe brandy with one another. That is all to the good. But Democrats’ outdated impulse to prioritize good relationships with their conservative colleagues at all costs must end. Recall, many of these men and women have spent years valorizing a violent mob that sought to kill them. Comity for the sake of comity is, well, utter comedy.

It’s time for Democrats to go low: Democrats should make the next four years of Republican governance as grueling and painful as possible