#babyboy silver fox

[zackcollins]

Going Through the Motions || TOR vs NYY || 08/21/22 ||📸: Jim McIsaac © || For: @byebyebichette

[mixchronicles-futureboyfriend]

Dear Future Boyfriend – Are You a Millennial?

I am at an interesting crossroads in my life: I’m too youthful to date a silver fox, but way too mature for a millennial. Which is crazy, since I just discovered that I too am a millennial. Yeah… all that trash talking I do about them and bam, out of the blue, I’m one of them.  Makes no sense, right?  Agreed, so I spent hours researching in hopes of disproving the theory, but I could not.  Besides the millennial years correlating with my birth, I’m a victim of the lingo as well. “Woke”, “Basic”, “Goals AF…”   Fine, I’m a millennial. But honestly, I think I’m ahead of my time.  I’m totally “Adulting”.  And stereotypical millennial guys – I just cannot do. It’s something about them dressed in the Kanye West Swap Meet collection, crying while listening to Drake and doing stupid choregraphed dance routines while they hop in a circle and kicking their leg in and out that makes me just want to scream.  And Future Boyfriend if you are somewhere right now recording a “In My Feelings” Challenge video – stop it. That stupid heart symbol is only reserved for girls… and Odell Beckham Jr. So, leave it for us. But if I’m not attracted to my own kind, millennials, then that leaves me looking to the other side of the coin. What are they called? Grandparents? Seriously, I’m also not attracted to the old guy dressed in a Sean John jogging suit with matching Js. And if I catch you in a jersey outside of a sports bar during the game I will pretend as if I only speak Swahili when you repeatedly ask for my number. Now Future Boyfriend, I know attraction should be more than appearance, but I’m a millennial. It’s pretty important. Not to mention, I’ll never get to know all of the other amazing characteristics about you if I immediately classify you in my cousin Jimmy’s age group… and he graduated in 68.  That’s practically Back to the Future.

As I was saying, I’m in a bit of a dilemma. I’ve been searching high and low, but I’m not exactly sure where to find you. And since I have no idea what you look like, I try to stay open to all possibilities. Like yesterday, while out, I met a young man 7 years my junior. Although we’re both in the millennial family, I’m kind of like the wise momma and he’s like… a fetus.  But I guess we can all take a lesson from the Aaliyah and R. Kelly fairytale book, “Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number” oh… that’s pedophilia. It was annulled.  Well I won’t go there.  Wouldn’t wanna upset all the “Stepping in the Name of Love” folks out there.  Keep being creep R. Kelly.  Anyway, I looked past the age gap and the fact that he was wearing skinny white jeans with a matching crossbody murse (male purse for full clarity) and gave him my number. Welp that was a mistake. Kids need attention so they nag until they get it. He texted me 5 times before I made it home that evening. I exercised patience and told him I couldn’t engage, I was off to bed since I was waking early for church in the morning (btw that so wasn’t a lie. I can be ratchet on Saturday and holy on Sunday… the Lord knows my heart). The next day, for two hours, while my phone was silenced for Jesus, he managed to call me three times and text me four more.  Too much, too soon, goodbye.  I had to get rid of him. So, I did what most millennials would do.  I cyberbullied him, telling him his murse sucked, we all know it’s a knock off MCM and if he texted me once more I would post the “made in China sticker” on my IG. He disappeared. Thank God. Sometimes you just have to speak to kids on their level.  After the encounter with Babyboy I knew I needed to make a drastic change. There is no way on earth that my Future Boyfriend is still wet behind the ears so it was time for me to skip on over to the other side… not gender, age. But I quickly discovered there’s no skipping on that side. It’s all two steps. After all, you don’t want to throw out a hip.  Unfortunately for me, he, we, couldn’t make it past the introductory phase.  While he’s searching his vinyls for a little Teddy P, I’m twerking to Cardi B.  His latest news and stories come from NPR while mine is straight out of The Shade Room.  Seriously, I can’t miss a Tamar clapped back, that’s social suicide. And as if I could ever ignore the bootcut baggy jeans he was wearing for our first date, I couldn’t deny that midlife crisis Corvette revving up in my driveway.  He’s aged. He’s weathered. He’s old. Now when I looked at that mostly salt and little pepper beard and I thought there’s no way I can sleep with Gramps gray balls. I don’t care how good his benefits plan is. So Future Boyfriend, back to the millennials I go. But this time I’m coming with rules and regulations. If you just so happen to be a millennial – which I’m hoping you’re not. Like really can you just be at least a year or two older. Hell, even the same age… I mean... this can’t be real life…  Okay I digress – As I was saying, if you just so happen to be a millennial I’m going to need you to be mature, like me. Have your life in order, a home, car, career... but also be freaking cool. Turn up to Migos, play dodgeball at Skyzone and do bottomless mimosas with our co-ed friend group. Let’s be amazing together. And although it’s not my preference if happen to be a little younger than me, it’s okay as long as you don’t look it and I don’t feel it. I’d be damn if I’m the old hag with the young man. So you will always tell people YOU’RE older. Thank You.

xo,

Mix

[zackcollins]

Globe Vibes || TOR vs TEX || 09/11/22

[zackcollins]

In Media Trev || BAL vs TOR || 09/16/22 || For: @byebyebichette​

[zackcollins]

~*~ Blog Info ~*~

General Info

Hi! You can call me Robin-Tyler, R.T. or Robbie!

My pronouns are: she/her, they/them, or he/him

I’m okay with being referred to with masculine, feminine, and neutral gendered terms.

I live in the ancestral and unceded territory of the Aamjiwnaang people (Ontario, Canada).

I’m 24 years old. Minors are welcomed to unfollow/block me because I will sometimes post more mature content.

I  will tag anything triggering with “tw (trigger)”. If I miss something,  don’t be afraid to tell me. I’ll gladly add whatever someone feels needs a warning.

This is mainly a sports blog based around hockey and baseball. My favourite teams are the Toronto Maple Leafs, Philadelphia Flyers, Vancouver Canucks, Colorado Avalanche, Montreal Canadiens, Colorado Rockies, Pittsburgh Pirates, and Toronto Blue Jays

You can find information about some personalized tags, fanfic, and the current state of my masterlists under the cut!!

Babygirl Info

Hockey: Jack Campbell (#babygirl crazy catman), Tyson Jost (#babygirl chromatica), Cole Caufield (#babygirl small coffee), Mitch Marner (#babygirl wall bouncer), Mikko Rantanen (#babygirl peanut egg burger), Josh Anderson (#babygirl bench dresser)

Baseball: Zack Collins (#babygirl trailer trash), Tyler Heineman (#babygirl jr king), Cavan Biggio (#babygirl mimic), Bo Bichette (#babygirl man bun), Matt Chapman (#babygirl chapstick), Ross Stripling (#babygirl chicken strip), Ryan Borucki (#babygirl free elf), George Springer (#babygirl lovebug)

M*A*S*H: Father Francis Mulcahy (#babygirl himbo priest), Maxwell Klinger (#babygirl section 8), Margaret Houlihan (#babygirl cinnamon candy)

X-Files: Fox Mulder (#babygirl spooky), Dana Scully (#babygirl doctor fbi)

Babyboy Info

Hockey: Frederik Andersen (#babyboy pastry), Erik Källgren (#babyboy babygoalie), J.T. Compher (#babyboy jimothy timothy), Nick Suzuki (#babyboy small coffee enthusiast), T.J. Brodie (#babyboy mayor of chatham), James Reimer (#babyboy optimus reims)

Baseball: Kevin Gausman (#babyboy powdered donut), Randal Grichuk (#babyboy rocky mountain bird), Danny Jansen (#babyboy sports goggles), Alek Manoah (#babyboy mamas boy), Adam Cimber (#babyboy joe dirt), José Berríos (#babyboy mouthguard), Brian Serven (#babyboy love child), Jack Suwinski (#babyboy almighty), Trevor Richards (#babyboy silver fox)

M*A*S*H: B.J. Hunnicutt (#babyboy anything you want), Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce (#babyboy last of the mohicans)

X-Files: Alex Krycek (#babyboy fbi double agent)

Mass Effect: Kaidan Alenko (#babyboy biotic child)

Babyperson Info

Hockey: Alexander Kerfoot (#babyperson ivy leaguer), Cale Makar (#babyperson movie pun)

Baseball: Luke Maile (#babyperson mailbox), Jordan Romano (#babyperson canadas closer)

due South: Benton Fraser (#babyperson wolf tamer)

Other Info

Other content you may see on this blog includes:  M*A*S*H, due South, X-Files, Zelda, Mario, Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing, Mass Effect, animals, Marvel, food, nature/plants, paranormal, and just anything I find interesting/appealing.

I sometimes write fanfiction. Right now, the fandoms I write for are  hockey, baseball, M*A*S*H, X-Files, due South, Mass Effect, and Marvel.  And, for reference, I write/take requests for self-inserts and ship pairings. The ship pairings include hockey and baseball rpf so do with that what you will.

I’ve had a rough mental time recently, so I’m changing my URL to, hopefully, get some much needed happiness. I’ll fix the masterlists once I’m feeling back to my old self. Sorry for the sudden change. I just need this for my own mental well-being.