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arislary · 1 month ago

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Brewing Chemistry (4/5) Han Jisung x (f) reader

Synopsis: Reader and Jisung FINALLY go on a date and the evening unfolds effortlessly. It's as though the two of you have always been meant to be in each other’s orbit, and the world fades away when you're together. The chemistry is palpable, and for the first time, Reader wonders if this could be the beginning of something real. Will she take the chance to make it more?

Pairing: Han Jisung x (f) reader

Genre: fluff, eventual smut, strangers to lovers, coffee-shop au, non-idol au, meet-cute au

Warning: fluff, eventual smut, slight dom/sub, slight Dom Jisung, slight Sub reader, cute nicknames, spit kink, makeouts, finally going on a date (thank fuck), Jimin?, drug use (let me know if I missed anything)

WC: 2.4k

AN: this literally is a date for me okay! But I hope you also enjoyed it, because fuck could you imagine! SMUT WILL BE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! UNEDITED

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Part 1 -> Part 2 -> Part 3 -> Part 4 ->Part 5

The days that followed were filled with several text exchanges and a phone call that left me feeling needy, longing for Jisung. He was adamant about us having the date as soon as our schedules allowed, begging me to let him be the one to plan it.

I had just finished tying the bow of my thigh-high boots when a knock sounded at my door. I smoothed my hair down, rushing to throw open the door. Jisung’s smile was wide as I held the door open for him. He was dressed in a black ensemble, from his jacket, shirt, pants and still chunky boots, having chosen to wear his contacts instead of his glasses. Fuck he looked good. When did he not?

“You look good, Ji,” I resist the urge to bite my lip, not wanting to ruin the lip stain I had put on, but the longer I looked at him the less I’d care if he ruined it. He raised an eyebrow at me, lips pulling into a smirk. He closed the door with one hand, leaning down to place a gift bag on the floor, maintaining eye contact with me.

“You think so, baby?” He stood straight again, his boots giving him an added height, making us equal in my heeled boots, and crowded my space, backing me up into the kitchen hallway entry. His hands came to rest on my waist, bunching the fabric a bit of my skirt. I rested my hands on his forearms, pressing my fingers into them, nodding my head at him.

“Sooo good.”

“You look even better. God give me a spin, pretty.”

Jisung stepped away, grabbing my hand to twirl me and get a full view. I laughed, returning the favor so that I could get a look at him.

“Did you bring me a present?” I attempted to step around him, but he tsked, pulling me back flush against his chest.

“Patience, baby-“ he nosed at my temple, lips pressing quickly. “At least let me give it to you first.”

I made grabby hands as he picked up the bag to give to me. It was a plain brown bag with pink tissue paper. Pink. Our favorite color as I’ve come to learn, in fact we had numerous of shared interested as well as things we’ve found that we love to argue about too. There was a playful smirk on his face as he watched me open the bag, before coming a full smile as I fell into a fit of laughter.

A Ravenclaw plush.

When Jisung found out I hadn’t really seen Harry Potter, it was a problem, for him at least, but too be fair, he hadn’t seen Star Wars either! I had taken the test a few days ago to figure out what house I was without him knowing and sent him my results. He had been adamant that I was one and was all too pleased to be right. I squeezed the plushie to my chest, gazing up at him with bright eyes.

“Sungie, I love it!”

He blushed bright red and his hand went back to rub at his neck. I skipped over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing my lips against his. His hands came up to hold onto the back of my shoulders, keeping me pressed against him as our lips stayed connected, almost hesitantly seeking for more.

I would gladly give it to him. I also understood where he was coming from, just days before he thought he had taken advantage of me. I gripped his waist tighter, pressing my lips closer.

His tongue just touched my bottom lip before I pulled away. His lips attempted to follow mine, but I shook my head, my gleaming eyes taking in his needy look.

Fuck I wanted him.

“We’re gonna miss our date.”

He nodded, eyes looking slightly disappointed from having to pull away, but he picked my hand up, laying a kiss on my palm.

“You’re right-“ a kiss to my wrist “we actually should head out now-“ one last kiss is placed to the tips of my fingers “or we’ll be late for the reservation.”

He pulled me with him to the front door, waiting as I grabbed my belongings from the side table.

“Where are we going by the way?”

“Is it too much of a cliche to say ‘it’s a surprise’?” He winced as we walked down the stairs of the apartment building, I thankfully only lived on the 2nd floor, so the small stretch of stairs were nothing to complain about. He opened the passenger door of his black civic for me, hand outstretched to cover the top of the car for when I sit down. I bring hand to cover his cheek and purse my lips towards him.

“Ugh you’re so cute!” Overcome with a desire to pinch said cheek as I sat down, shaking my head at him. “And no, it’s not cliche.”

It was totally cliche.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I jumped to the next note, giggling as a tune echoed out. Jisung stood a few notes from me, his eyes gleaming as he watched me. I skipped the last few notes, the musical sounds following each of my steps before I reached him.

“I’ve always wanted to come here!” I stepped off the floor piano, racing to the the next room that held drums of various sizes and types lined every wall. My gloved hands glowed in the blacklight as I started slapping anyone I could reach. Jisung laughed following behind me, slapping his own hands to play a melody. I ran my fingers across each drum until I reached him.

He had taken me to eat at a local smash burger spot and then to an interactive music museum. Both of which I had sent him a TikTok of a few days prior, showcasing the place, commenting that I had wanted to go.

God, I like him.

I realized after he had driven Felix and I home from the bar that time, that maybe I should’ve just asked him to be my boyfriend. Would that have been so wild?

Girl, you barely knew him at that point.

But what else could describe this intense, over-whelming feeling that I got anytime we encountered each other.

I leaned over, hand resting on his arm to keep my balance as I lay a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you for bringing me here, I love it!”

He wrapped his arm around me, his other hand coming to the middle of my back to press me close to him. He pressed his lips against mine before laying another on my cheek.

“My absolute pleasure, pretty.”

I felt warm all over and continued to be as we moved through the different rooms of the museum. He delved deeper into how he got into making music, meeting Chris, as I’ve learned Bangchan prefers to be called, and Changbin, to forming their producing group.

Just like before, conversation between us flowed like water, even the small vent session of another ‘Kevin the Asshole’ moment felt so comforting and relieving.

Our next destination was a 24/7 bookstore with a ‘do it yourself’ coffee area. I hummed as he led me towards the young adult fiction section.

“What exactly are you looking for?”

He ‘aha’ed’ and started pulling several books from the shelf. I took a look at titles and fell forward laughing, holding on to his shoulder as he remained crouched down, smiling up at me.

“W-what the f-fuck-“

“What? This is important to me!” He stood to his full height, grinning wildly at me as he moved to the cashier. “I gotta make sure my girl has the entire series in her bookshelf.”

I watched as he paid, my heart beating wildly in my chest, threatening to burst.

My girl.

Just as I took a step to approach him, a throat cleared behind me. I turned to find a man smiling at me. I raised an eyebrow and smiled back.

“Uh, hi?”

“Hey-“ he ran a hand up through his blonde hair, the confidence he oozed hitting me smack in the face. “Sorry, don’t mean to bother you, but I think I’d regret not at least approaching a beautiful woman such as yourself.”

“Oh-“ I crossed my arms and turned to him, tilting my head to the side. “Well damn, that’s so upfront, gotta hand it to you, I’m impressed-“ I held a hand out to him. “I’m ______, and I am fortunately here with my man, but it’s nice to meet you and I appreciate the compliment.”

His smile hadn’t faltered, if anything it grew and he reached out to grab a hold of mine.

“Jimin, likewise, and of course. I believe in sharing my thoughts even if it doesn’t always end in my favor-“ we both snorted and let go of our shake as a hand grabbed at my waist and pulling me back a step. His cologne hit me and the heat of his breath caressed my ear.

“Hey, baby,” his lips grazed my earlobe as he pulled back to smile politely at Jimin, nodding at him, who in turned was smirking at us. “Hey- Jisung.”

“Jimin! Well it was nice to meet you, _____” he turned his gaze to Jisung, winking at him. “Jisung, hope you both have a great night!”

I waved and turned my head, to see Jisung’s eyes following after Jimin, a smallest hint of a frown in his eyes. A mischievous smirk pulling at my face as I continued to stare at him.

“He’s handsome, huh?”

Jisung whipped his head, eyes bugging out of his head, mouth dropping open.

“Me?”

I busted out laughing, as he started to grin at me. He led me out of the bookstore, hand in mine as I giggled, following him.

He turned to me as we exited the store and I fell into him, arms going around his neck.

“Me right? You’re talking about me?” Nodding my head, giggling more, as I started to pepper his face with kisses.

“Yea, you-” his smile warmed me to my bones and fuck, I wanted him. “Only you.”

“Come on, pretty girl, we gotta get these-“ holding up the shopping bag, weighted down by the books. “Home to your shelf.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Placing the fourth installment of the Harry Potter series in the remaining space. I stepped back to admire the books sitting comfortably and sighed contently. I turned to find Jisung, sitting smugly on the couch watching me, legs spread.

“You’re entirely too pleased at seeing those books up there.”

Once we arrived back to my apartment, we quickly threw our shoes off so that I could put my new books away. I walked over to him, handing him the remote from the coffee table, and pecking his lips. Jisung sunk lower into the seat and patted his lap, his eyes dark with need. I grinned and shook my head at him.

“I’m thirsty and lowkey- but really highkey -wanna smoke something super quick,” I pouted as he chuckled, standing up, arms wrapping around my waist, one hand moving lower to squeeze at my ass.

“Yea baby, we can smoke.”

I knew I didn’t need his permission, but the fact that he wanted to made me feel warm. In the past, some partners had taken issue with one of my favorite pastimes. I squealed and hopped towards my balcony. I quickly sat in the plush chair, hands moving underneath the coffee table to grab my goodie bag. I begin to roll as Jisung steps out onto the balcony with my reusable cup and a blanket.

My eyes widen, and I made grabby hands at him.

“Did you refill my cup?”

He shrugged and collapsed next to me, setting my cup down in front of us and unfolding the blanket. He maneuvered my legs to lay across his lap.

“You said you were thirsty.”

His eyes were hooded as he watched me finish licking the joint close and leaning over him to grab a lighter. The hand he had on my thigh under the blanket tightened as more of my weight settled on top of him. I leaned back slightly, closer to him than before and lit the joint.

Thankfully my balcony faced a wooden area, giving us a semblance of privacy. I blew out the smoke, passing it to Jisung. His fingers held the joint, his eyes not leaving mine as he took a long drag. I bit my lip, leaning further back against the cushion, the staring contest continuing as passed the joint back and forth.

I leaned over him again to ash the joint, startling when his hand suddenly reached out and circled my wrist. He brought my hand to take the last hit, his fingers trailing up as he led it back down to the ashtray, dropping the roach in it.

Jisung pulled my legs closer, arm coming to wrap around my waist so that I was sitting in his lap. I tugged the blanket over us more, the chill of the night hitting me just slightly.

A hand ran up and down my back, as our breaths became harsher. I settled more comfortably in his lap, legs going on either side of his waist, head burrowing into his neck.

“Sungie.”

A groan left him, his hands gripping me now as he pushed me flush against him, his hardness pressing just right where I wanted him the most.

“Fuck- Baby, shit-“ he rutted up into me, my breathing becoming labored as I ground down to met him.

“Sung, please, I-“

“What, baby, tell me?”

He rolled his hips upwards, our lips open and touching, breaths mingling as the heat began to grow between us.

“Tell me, baby, what do you want?”

I whined as his teeth pulled at my bottom lip, his hand gliding up my back to the back of my hair, pulling the strands to move my head to the side. His tongue licked where his teeth bit, dipping into my mouth to meet my own. My own hands scratching into his hair and he continued to explore my mouth.

Fuck I could kiss him forever.

I pulled away, the smallest line of spit connecting our lips and I suddenly felt the hot flash poured out of me. I could almost swear I went crossed eyed as I whispered out hoarsely to me.

“I want you.”

God did I want him.

#han jisung #han jisung fanfic #han jisung x reader #stray kids fanfic #jisung x reader #stray kids

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papirouge · 1 year ago

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as someone who almost died as a minor giving birth after being raped I think u should care about the lives already here and not a clump of cells. most children conceived thru rape are abandoned or killed later on anyhow

Why are you guys acting like we had to pick a sidd between saving the life of women OR the baby?? What some sort of twisted oppression Olympics is that?? Why couldn't we fight for BOTH? This is precisely what prolifers are for.

First of all, we do care about saving pregnant women's life considering the fact that death in childbirth is ≤0.05% in developed countries.... It shows that a decent healthcare system is KEY in saving women's life during delivery - and that abortion isn't needed. COPE.

The fearmongering around pregnancy kills is inversely proportionate to how it actually does IRL.

Unlike what pro abortionist liars say, no prolifer advocate for less medical help for women. And no, we aren't all Conservatives (I'm personally not) religious (secular/LGTB+ prolife organization are a thing) or males (most prolifers are female) so enough with the tHey hAte wOmeN shtick. We don't revel in women dying in childbirth struggling to get access to pregnancy care. Many of us are mom/have family and know how hard pregnancy & educating children is. You need to stop acting like only pro choicers knew what is was like to carry a baby and deliver it. That's precisely bc we know how hard pregnancy is that we consider women deserve better than a bandaid called abortion.

Abortion is the reason why pregnancy care is sooo behind in extra liberal spaces. By shoving abortion as the only solution for women hEaLthCaRe (because it's cheaper than an actual maternity leave + welfare) they never really bothered creating a decent alternative to help women who'd decide to keep their baby. How can abortion be a ✨choice✨ when the only alternative is sinking into helplessness & poverty? Damn, you guys totally understand it when it comes to prostitution but NEVER have the intellectual honesty to ponder that question when it comes to abortion 🤔

It baffles my mind how pro abortion applauded companies offering abortions instead of a decent maternity leave. You guys are the biggest useful idiots of capitalism while thinking you are soooo subversive 🙄 That's why you are making up false opposition in the form of the big bad traditional backwardish boogeyman to make you sound braver than you are lol There's no traditionalist conspiracy... Most of the planet never stopped valuing family over career or iNdepeNdencE (although there's a definite push for cultural liberalism - of which abortion culture is totally part of) It's just the pendulum naturally coming back after a decade of libfem koolaid.

You're doing exactly what the system wants from you. You're the equivalent of 'eyeliner so sharp it would slays patriarchy' kinda shit. Especially radfem who will scream that women aren't body part (and they're right) yet advocate for the very act of treating our body like such (against our biology most basic function such as fertility/procreation) - if not straight up vilifying its work ("a baby is a parasite"). Would it even occur to you that fetus aren't "body parts" to be disposed of?? You uterus is a "clump of cells" too, you might as well throw it to the trash 🤪

Oh and many of these "poor pregnant woman got arrested for abortion" have been debunked. You guys really need to get over these misleading sensational headlines seeking to demonize pro lifers (weird, I thought there was a back to traditionalism conspiracy 🤔 shouldn't mainstream media be on our side? 🤔). Those poor women either took drugs to kill their fetus or even killed them AFTER their birth (I'm sure there's a masterpost floating around debunking these stories).

Abortion doesn't even stop rape. If anything, if facilitates its erasure (planned Parenthood allying with pimps to perform underage abortion under the radar) You guys are just moving the goal to appeal to emotionalism. Even if rape disappeared overnight you'd stil advocate for abortion so please, shut up about it. You are exhausting.

#answered #pro life

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planetaryaether · 6 days ago

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Blackrock Characters as Mitski Songs

Rythian: Crack Baby

“Crack baby, you don't know what you want / But you know that you had it once / And you know that you want it back / … / But you know that you're needing it / And you know that you need it bad”

The song takes the form of an extended metaphor, and in this case instead of drugs, Rythian is born deeply wanting (but is denied by his circumstances) to love and be loved. Rythian’s main arc through the end of season 2 revolved around the idea that he was raised to want revenge/to respond to negative emotions with violence but at his core, Rythian cannot bring himself to harm those he cares about. It does not matter if their actions led to his death, Rythian will constantly delay rationalizing why he cannot enact violence upon them. There is this feeling deep within him that he does not understand but that controls his actions more than his conditioning in the End ever did. But regardless of how overwhelming that feeling is, that does not mean that (for a vast majority of the series if not the entire thing) he understands it. That contradiction between that feeling in his core and contemplating violence as a taught coping mechanism is the central conflict of his character.

Zoeya: The Only Heart Breaker

“If you would just make one mistake / What a relief that would be / But I think for as long as we're together / I'll be the only heartbreaker / … / You'll be by the window, only watchin'”

Zoey is constantly intimidated by Rythian and how in control he seems to be to the point where she does not see a place for herself in his life. It is exactly her belief that she is not enough and that she needs to make up for it in increasingly different ways that leads her to science (the one thing that breaks his trust just by trying it). In doing so, she feels that a place for her is now not even possible and leaves, the very outcome that she was trying to prevent by seeking out science in the first place. Throughout this, to her, Rythian remains a static presence “only watching” as she does not fully understand the degree to which Rythian plays up his abilities/confidence to try and impress Zoey (again the very thing he does to get closer to her is the thing that pushes her away). This deeply held belief that she is broken/not worthy and that those around her are so much better/so much less broken is the core of her character.

Teep: Abbey

“I am hungry / I have been hungry / I was born hungry / What do I need? / I am something / I have been something / I was born something / What could I be? / … / I am waiting / I have been waiting / I was born waiting / I was born waiting for that something / Just one something / I was born something / I was born”

Teep deeply wants to be more than he is. Teep knows that he is more than an animal but does not know what that makes him and he wants to prove that he is worth having around, that he can prove his humanity, that he can love others and protect them, and he is somewhat trapped within these feelings, being openly hostile to Gilbert who he sees as a threat to his place in the group. Additionally, he didn;t receive much support after his creation so he has been alone on this journey, left confused by many questions left unanswered and unanswerable while he stays alone.

Lalna: Star

"Remember when we met? / We acted like two fools / We were so glad / So glad to have found it" Lalna reminiscing about his time with Rythian in the old world. How they taught each other, sparred together, and laughed together. "That love is like a star / It's gone, we just see it shinin' / It's traveled very far, I'll / Keep a leftover light / Burnin' so you can keep lookin' up / Isn't that worth holdin' on?" After seeing Rythian in the new world, he knows their friendship will never be what it was again, but he still wants to leave the door open, not because he believes things will get better, but because he wants Rythian to be able to remember the good times like he can.

Ravs: Bug Like an Angel

“There's a bug like an angel stuck to the bottom / Of my glass, with a little bit left / As I got older, I learned I'm a drinker / Sometimes a drink feels like family / … / Did you go and make promises you can't keep? / Well, when ya break them, they break you right back”

Ravs seeks for community, purpose, and his sense of self in alcohol/bartending. Rythian broke his (somewhat unspoken) promise of coming back after the nuke and Ravs broke his promise of continuing the bar, following the gang to Sick Bay. Ravs as a character is bound by his relationships with the rest of the cast but his fears around lacking the same sort of power/control over his life that Rythian and Zoey seem to possess cause him to hurt those around him in seeking out something outside of himself to somehow make up for this, and in doing so he breaks the very bonds that he would have liked to preserve in the first place (even if he won’t admit it).

Nilesy: My Body’s Made of Crushed Little Stars

“ My body's made of crushed little stars / And I'm not doing anything / I wanna see the whole world / … / I better ace that interview / I should tell them that I'm not afraid to die”

Although he hides it behind a bubbly personality, like Zoey, Nilesy wants many things from his life but he is constantly surrounded by people who have more skills than him and since he is unable to either survive on his own or ask for the help he needs, he is trapped in this cycle of building pools/working to survive but at the same time wishing he could be more than he is. That he didn’t need to dedicate his life to doing things for other people and he could instead live his life just for himself.

I have too many ideas (Re: an entire spreadsheet going song by sing in her discography and assigning them to/rating them for different characters) so more thoughts are under the cut

Characters by Season/Parts in their Arc:

Rythian

Prequel: Fireworks

“One morning this sadness will fossilize / and I will forget how to cry /… and when I find a knife sticking out of my side / I’ll pull it out without questioning why/ … And then one warm summer/ night I'll hear fireworks outside/ and I'll listen to the memories as they cry”

He wants to get back to the peaceful life that he had in the old world but he doesn’t see that world as possible anymore, that he will always be betrayed somehow but that there is a future where he is happy in spite of that, a future where he can finally process all of the emotions he is denying himself.

S1: Dan the Dancer

“He liked her more than life itself / I'm sure / 'Cause Dan had never danced / Outside of his room / When no one was home and he would start to hear the door / So when he moved with you / And felt his body let go / Of course you couldn't know / It was you and you alone / That he had shown his bedroom dancer to”

Although Rythian loved Zoey throughout season 1 and he took major steps to show his affection, they were major steps for him. By the nature of Rythian fearing vulnerability, Zoey was kept in the dark about Rythian’s true feelings and in doing so his love for her was not only missed by Zoey, but in being missed led to her feeling isolated and furthered her self worth issues eventually leading to the creation of B.A.R.R.Y.

S2: Nobody

"My God, I'm so lonely, so I open the window / To hear sounds of people, to hear sounds of people" Although in a remote setting, Season 2 Rythian begins caring for and talking to Gilbert, whose existance he says he doesn't care about, because he so deeply has the need for human connection. "Venus, planet of love, was destroyed by global warming / Did its people want too much too? Did its people want too much?" In the context of Blackrock, this line can both talk about the End and the Old World, both were thriving societies completely destroyed by the urge to want more, to go bigger, to win, to have it all. This is a question Rythian, himself, must face as those situations are the cause of his major traumas. "Guess I'm a coward, I just want to feel alright" Rythian being unable to express his true emotions to Zoey while she was still there as well as Rythian potentially seeing himself as a coward for continuously putting off his revenge, a revenge he is only doing to try and make himself feel okay, feel in control, feel safe after the destruction of the illusion of safety he had in the old world. Rythian, at his core, is someone who is all bark no bite but doesn't know what he is supposed to do if he accepts that he cannot bite. "Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody" Each nobody takes on a new meaning, like in the original. From talking about his loneliness, to that he cannot trust anyone, to that no one else seems to care about the end of the old world, to the fact that he has no ties to his past.

S3: Two Slow Dancers

“It would be a hundred times easier / If we were young again / But as it is / And it is / … / To think that we could stay the same / But we're two slow dancers, last ones out”

Although far from perfect, S3 Rythian understands Zoey’s needs more than he ever has before, he understands that just because he has moved past the events of season 1, that doesn’t mean that Zoey has. He understands that their past complicates their relationship and he is happy for the little moments they get together, he is not seeking an idealized version of their relationship that was never possible because of the conflicts in their coping mechanisms from the destruction of the old world and the loss of Zoey’s memories. Although part of him mourns the life they could have had, he is most happy to have this moment right here with her. What tomorrow brings is unknown, but for now they are together and they are safe.

Post S3: Pink in the Night

“I hear my heart breaking tonight / Do you hear it too? / It's like a summer shower / With every drop of rain singing / ‘I love you, I love you, I love you’ / … / I could stare at your back all day / And I know I've kissed you before, but / I didn't do it right / Can I try again, try again, try again”

Although there will always be a voice in the back of Rythian’s head saying that the happiness that he feels will not last, he loves Zoey and he knows that she loves him. All he wants is to just exist in her presence, to be with her and to bring her joy. He is willing to do anything for her and she knows that. There is security in that now. [last sentence]

Zoeya:

Pre s1: My Love is Mine all Mine

“Moon, tell me if I could / Send up my heart to you? / So, when I die, which I must do / Could it shine down here with you? / 'Cause my love is mine, all mine / Nothing in the world belongs to me / But my love, mine, all mine”

Zoey has left behind a world of luxury and responsibility for a world where she gets to dictate her own fate. All that she has left is herself and where she gets to focus her energy/love. Less about a specific person, Zoey’s love for the world, her mushrooms, and her new life are what fuels her. [more]

S1: I Don’t Smoke

“If you need to be mean / be mean to me / I can take it and put it inside of me /… Just don't leave me alone / Wondering where you are / I am stronger than you give me / Credit for”

S1 zoey has some really toxic ideas about her place in the world and only valuing herself as much as the use she perceives she has to others, specifically Rythian. Most clearly this is seen when she tries to convince Rythian not to be mad at her *because* her betrayal was useful.

S2: Working for the Knife

Although Zoey got what she said she wanted and now is in a position where she is useful/valuable, that’s all she is now. Working for the rebels she is a brain to design and a pair of hands to build a supercomputer for them and she realizes that she hates working for the sake of working/being useful. That doing slow is slowly killing her drive for creativity and her spirit.

S3: A Pearl

Although they still haven’t had a formal discussion about their feelings, Zoey knows how Rythian feels about her, but her lack of self worth has transformed her feelings of needing to be useful to gain love into needing to somehow earn or be worthy of the love and the sacrifice she has seen. How can someone love her when she doesn’t even know who she is? [more]

Post S3: When Memories Snow

Zoey has gotten her memories back and is now dealing with the enormity of the responsibilities that she ran away from so long ago. She now knows who she is (or at least who society tells her that she is) and for the first time since she left the Twilight realm, is struggling to deal with knowing too much, having too much power, being too much, and she doesn’t know if she can take it.

Lalna:

S2: Star

(same as above)

Post S3 (JF2): Blue Diner

“You'll meet me at Blue Diner / I'll take coffee and talk about nothing… / Blue Diner, I'll take anything you want to give me”

Over analysis Time: Duncan being the one pushing to listen to the disc, who added the purple flags ‘for Rythian’, and who seemed most excited about the trip, has finally gotten to a point post flux-buddies where he would be able to repair his relationship with Rythian if he was ever given the chance. He could finally take accountability for his actions and let their friendship be whatever it will be. It will never be what it could have been, but he is content with just being in each other’s lives.

Honorable mentions:

Rythian:

I Bet on Losing Dogs

I Want You

Francis Forever

Zoeya:

First Love / Late Spring

Because Dreaming Costs Money, My Dear

Everyone

Washing Machine Heart

Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart

Why Didn’t You Stop Me

Gilbert: Last Words of a Shooting Star

I think this one is self explanatory and it is NOT the tone of the rest of the post so it goes here

#Before anyone asks last time I did this it was just for the songs on the latest Mitski Album which means this is TOTALLY different okay #JF2 and the Kirsty Blackrock apocalypse have got me blorbo posting again and I am making it all of ya'll's problem #Blackrock Chronicles #Rythian #Zoeya #Teep #Lalna #Lividcoffee #Yogscast #Take my blackrock analysis

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mermaidsirennikita · 1 year ago

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I’m intrigued, but do you have any as you put it “put a baby in me” books mostly Historical’s You recommend? ☺️

Yes, I love books with breeding vibes! Some books are more "the sense of breeding" whereas others are actively like... elevate your legs we're doing this.

The Courtesan Duchess by Joanna Shupe has the heroine actively trying to get pregnant, but her husband never even consummated the marriage and hasn't seen her for like six years. She learns the ways of a courtesan and visits him in Venice made up, wearing a wig, introduced as a courtesan........ and you're off to the races.

Lord of Darkness by Elizabeth Hoyt is another unconsummated marriage deal, but the heroine and hero married because she was pregnant by another man and her lover had died. Right after the marriage, she miscarried and went to live elsewhere, but now she's back a few years later because she wants a baby. It'll be all business!

Waking Up with The Duke by Lorraine Heath is obviously one of the most notable historicals with this vibe. The hero is best friends with the heroine's husband, and he got the husband into an accident years ago that left him impotent. The husband asks the hero to get the heroine pregnant so that he can have an heir and she can have a baby, and the hero and heroine reluctantly agree.......... And it goes from there. Super emotional and super hot.

Untamed by Elizabeth Lowell is a medieval with an arranged marriage plot. The hero is initially suspicious that the heroine had a lover before they married, so he wants to wait until after she has her period to have penetrative sex. But once they get going lol.................. they get goin'. He REALLY wants an heir.

The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare. The hero is super scarred, and his fiancee ditches him right before the wedding. The heroine made the wedding dress and shows up in it for payment, and he's like ".... so I need an heir......." They're married and the entire point is for her to get pregnant.

Private Arrangements by Sherry Thomas has a married couple who's been separated for like a decade, ever since the day after their wedding. She reaches out because she wants a divorce so she can marry her lover, and her husband is like "listen, I need an heir, give me a baby stat and I'll give you your divorce after it's born". So they... get to it.

Scandal's Bride by Stephanie Laurens has a heroine who's like, a mystic, and she receives a vision that the hero is meant to father her children. But she doesn't want to marry the hero or marry at all, so she decides to have him get her pregnant without realizing it. This DOES mean she drugs him so he thinks he's dreaming the first time, and yes this is very bad, I'm not condoning it, on a fictional level it is kind of great. After the first night she tries to drug him again but he catches on beforehand and is like "why is she trying to have sex with me" and just like. Goes to fuck her anyway to try to figure out The Truth lmao because when that redhead starts getting kooky something about him feels alive inside

If you're open to something not historical:

Mafia Virgin by Mila Finelli has a couple forced to marry; they're supposed to conceive a baby within six months. They get REEEEEEEEEEEALLY into it. Like "I'm gonna give you a baby"/"give me every drop of it" into it.

Lush Money by Angelina M. Lopez. This one has a billionaire heroine seek out the prince of a small nation that is financially collapsing. She basically offers him a bailout for the country if he marries her for a year and gets her pregnant. INSANE. Great. They literally start trying within the first few pages, though he haaaates her lol.

The Winter King by C.L. Wilson is a fantasy romance modeled on medieval Northern Europe culturally, so you might still get the vibe. The hero and heroine marry to cement a truce after a big war, and she needs to get pregnant within the year.

#romance novel blogging #book recs #true life: i don't want kids but i love a breeding book #and there are tons i've read ofc that are more subtle like 'HE THOUGHT OF HER BELLY SWELLING W HIS CHILD' lol

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queers-gambit · 2 years ago

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Oh Cherry! I was coming to ask how you were, see how you’re doing when I saw you had an angst thing up!

What do you think of Billy having to take the first girl he’s ever loved when he’s flayed. Maybe he keeps her for awhile as he struggles against the mind flayers influence and she tries her best to support him despite being scared?Happy ending or not is up to you! No worries on this at all, just some angsty thoughts.

I hope you’re doing well 💕 - 😇

i said ANGEEELLLLLLLL - woah-oh-oh-ohhhhh!

hello, love. i'm doin' pretty okay, how're you!? i hope you're doing well. thank you so much for sending in, i'm just itching to write right now.

let's get into it -

OW my heart. this one hurt a bit. okay, okay, okay, so, Billy's actually on his way to date night with you. he's feelin' cocky, it's the summer, he's tanned and feelin' good; maybe he finally saved up enough for you two to have a night at the motel - 100% alone - 'cause bein' 18 and seniors in high school means still living with your parents.

not a whole lotta opportunity, yah know? so, he's like, "meet me at the motel, it'll just be us." and you're agreeing, 'cause, why not? but he doesn't show due to whole whole car accident and kidnapping thing where he originally gets flayed.

instead of Heather, it's you who seeks Billy out the following day out of pure worry. it's not like him to stand you up, and one look at him, you know something's up. so, when you drag him into the showers to try help cool him off after fearing he had a fever, he has his first break-down and you witness it all.

it's why you don't fight him when he lunges and steals you away. you know it's not Billy doing this, you know he's not in control of himself, and yet, you can't help the inkling of fear because you knew what Billy's body was capable of. boy had hands, and if he wasn't in control right now, you did worry those hands would leave bruises behind.

so, you don't fight him. he takes you to the warehouse, but he can't bring himself to take you downstairs. instead, he keeps you there for a bit, letting you wake up, and when you finally rouse from your earlier fainting spell, you're ashamed to admit you felt fear. "No, no, no," Billy tries, shaking his head. "I-I'm sorry. I don't know what's happening, baby, I'm sorry."

"Billy?"

"It's me," he whispers.

"What happened?"

He glances towards the stairs, making you look over, too; trying to understand whatever was down there, but being unable to. "I can't do this alone," he whispers. "I-I need your help."

"Billy, honey, i-if you want my help, you have to let me go."

"I can't," he shakes his head, tears collecting. "It won't let me."

"Honey, you have to try."

"I've been tryin'," he sniffles. "I can't get free, baby..."

"Okay, all right, we can figure this out, right?"

But before he can answer, there comes an inhuman garbling from the stairs and Billy goes absolutely rigid. "No," he grits his teeth, veins on his neck bulging and throbbing. "No, no, not her."

"Billy, let me go - let me go now. Baby, please, you have to let me go. Please, honey, ju-just step aside, please." Another snarling. "Billy, please!" You begged loudly, but saw he was fighting a losing-battle. "NO!" You screamed when he, again, lunged for you; seizing your upper arm, and dragging you towards the stairs. "Baby, please! This isn't you - please! I know you don't want to hurt me!"

That made Billy pause.

"See? Billy, honey, you don't want to hurt me, please... Honey, please, you're hurting me," you whimpered.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers.

"Let me go, baby, please, we can get away," you begged, still being slowly pushed backwards towards the stairs. "Billy, please!"

"I can't fight it," he told you frantically. "Baby, what's - why're you here?"

"You brought me!"

"No - "

"Billy, let go!"

"Baby!" He yelped when something coiled around your leg and yanked. You screamed upon impact, being drug backwards, but the creature had hold of you and your hands were weakening on the doorframe. "NO!" Billy snapped free for a single moment, just landing on his stomach when he threw himself down to grab your arms as you were yanked back into the darkness.

Billy paces the upstairs for hours. He won't go down, won't check on you, won't put himself in any position to see what has become of you out of pure shame. Eventually, you come walking up the stairs, and he pauses.

For a long moment, there's no words. Neither of you are in your minds, but in that moment, Billy understood clearly... You were Flayed, too. He shook his head, looking away in disappointment, before stiffening upon feeling your hands on his waist.

"What's wrong?" You ask lightly.

"What have I done?" Billy whispers, hands on his hips and not moving a single inch. "What did I do to you...?"

"You brought me," you whisper back, "and showed me a new life, right?"

"No, fuck - God damn it," he pulled away from you.

"Don't tell me you're having clarity now?" You snipped. "You brought me here, Billy, you weren't strong enough to fight it - so, don't start now, when it's too late. We have a mission to accomplish."

Billy had to take a sobering breath, but nodded down at you. "Come with me," he urged, taking your hand, and leading you from the warehouse. Once in your car, he drove you into town and slowly watched as realization came back into your eyes.

"Billy?"

"It's me, princess," he sighed.

"What the fuck... Just happened?"

"I can't explain it, doll. Just know... I'm sorry."

"Are we... Are we in some cult now?"

Through the days that followed, Billy was only capable of continuing onward while drawing strength from you - who was slowly drained of life. Kidnapping your parents was easy, Flaying others came natural to you both... And before the end, Billy would only have one more moment of clarity with you. He was able to confess his love for you one last time before the Mind Flayer claimed both your lives.

A single moment where Billy loved you, where he told you how sorry he was... For you both to share one last kiss, one last embrace, and one last tear together. He didn't mean to, honestly... He never wanted you involved in this, but in that single, clear moment, Billy felt immense guilt for knowing he was your end. Deadly poetic, he figured, for the two of you. He knew he wanted his life with you, but neither of you thought your lives would only span 6 more hours.

Y'all know how in the Harry Potter movies, they had Tonks and Lupin positioned? at the end? yeah? how their hands were ALMOST touching? yeah, think that, but you and Billy. The sight made Max sob all the harder because it was evident, in his last moments of consciousness, Billy had reached for your hand.

awh, my heart. hope this was satisfying!!

all my love 🖤

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove one shot

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bellofthemeadow · 1 year ago

Text

The Road Ahead - ch 6 | Frankie Morales x female reader

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

For most of your married life, you dedicated yourself to waiting for Frankie. After each deployment, you patiently awaited his return, longing for the moment when he would be by your side again. During those nights when nightmares consumed his thoughts, you yearned for him to open up to you, hoping that he would find solace in sharing his pain. And as his addiction spiraled out of control, you held onto the hope that he would recognize his problem and seek help. However, despite your countless protests and pleas, you now find yourself waiting for him once more as he ventures off to Colombia, engaged in God knows what.

But this time is different. Determined, you make a solemn promise to yourself: You will never wait for Frankie again.

Rating: M for Mature (18 + no minors allowed)

Word Count: 9K (Sorry T.T)

Warning: Applicable for the entire fic / PTSD, drug use and addiction, postpartum depression, abusive familial relationships, self-hatred, unhealthy coping mechanism, explicit sexual content, violence, mentions of suicidal thoughts, super angsty

Chapter Summary: Summer without your husband. You don't know what to except for the months ahead with Frankie away in rehab, but you know you want to learn who you are again.

Notes: Hey everyone, thank you very much for the support for this fic, it means the world to me to see people liking, reblogging or commenting!!! This fic is approaching the end unfortunately, as much as I love these two together, it was always meant to be on the shorter side. Since its my first ever story, I wanted to see if I could stick to a story without my mind fizzling and apparently I can ! SO HURRAY! I am anticipating 1 more chapter and 1 long epilogue after this.

I've already started working on fic #2 and #3 and I will be posting the summaries/ series masterlists later tonight or tomorrow morning :) I was also thinking on opening a poll to ask which stories you guys want me to do first.

But in the meantime, hope you all enjoy this chapter !!!!

A Change of Season

MONTH 1 - JUNE

"Are you sure, Alma? I don't want to impose on you too much..." you ask hesitantly, internally hoping Alma will agree to your last-minute request.

"Nonsense, mija. It's my pleasure. You know how I always enjoy spending time with Estrelita, and it gives me a chance to spoil her rotten. Truly, it means the world to this old woman that you trust me to stay with your little Princesa." Alma responds warmly.

Relief washes over you as you let out a grateful sigh. "Thank you so, so much, Alma. I hate asking so last minute, but my boss just called me to cover this Saturday since I have to take Ella to get her shots today. And I know Ella would be thrilled to spend time with her favorite abuela.”

Alma Vargas Morales snorts angrily on the other end of the line. "I can't believe those pendejos would make you work over the weekend like that. As if baby shots could be re-scheduled like a nail appointment! I'm tempted to march over there and give them a piece of my mind!”

You can't help but let out a laugh, picturing Frankie's spirited 72-year-old mother storming into the Florida Community College library, grabbing your boss by the ear, and dressing him down loud enough for the dean of strudents to hear. You’d pay good money to see that. “But seriously, Alma, I can't express how much I appreciate this. You're a lifesaver.”

"And you are an amazing mother, mija..." You can hear Alma taking a deep breath on the other side of the line. "Not many women would have done what you have for your daughter and your husband."

"Alma..." you begin to interject, but she cuts you off.

"No, mija. Francisco was so out of line he couldn't even see the line anymore. I didn't raise my son to act like this, and you are way better than he deserves at the moment." Alma's words carry a mix of frustration and disappointment.

Alma takes another breath, her voice softening. "I love mi hijo, I nursed him, took care of him when he was sick, I saw him grow from a shy little boy into a handsome and self-assured man. But he was never really happy until he met you, mija. Now, es el momento de que Francisco se arrepienta de sus pecados." Her tone finishes somberly.

You're left speechless, both deeply moved and unsure by Alma's sudden outburst. The woman had always been strict but loving. When Frankie was young, they didn't have much. His father died young and without insurance, leaving Alma alone to raise Frankie and his two sisters. But Alma had done her best to provide for her three children and give them every opportunity she could.

Now, Frankie's younger sister followed in her mother's footsteps as a nurse, while the eldest had become an accountant before deciding to stay home with her own children. Alma was a strong woman whom you had always admired. When you first met her, she had looked at you for only a couple of seconds before grabbing you by the neck with her tiny yet stout stature, pulling you into a tight embrace. "Thank you for taking care of mi hijo, God knows that knucklehead needs it! Just like his dad, that one is! " she had whispered in your ear before releasing you and playfully swatting Frankie's head. "What the hell was that for?" Frankie had exclaimed.

"No decir groserías," Alma had answered, her gaze piercing Frankie. "That was for hiding this lovely girl all this time and for not minding your manners. You haven't even offered her anything to drink yet!" Frankie rubbed his head and muttered, "Esta es tu casa…"

"Qué dijiste Francisco?" Alma questioned sternly.

"Nada, Nada," Frankie quickly replied, trying to diffuse the situation.

Throughout the entire interaction between mother and son, you had held back your laughter. But as Frankie's cheeks turned pink, he made his way towards you, and you couldn't help but think that you would love to be a part of this family. Since that day, you had loved Alma, and she had become the mother figure you had never truly had in your life.

"Alma, whatever happens between Francisco and me will never have any repercussions on your relationship with Ella. I would never take her away from you or your family. Ella is a Morales, and you can see her whenever you want," you assure her.

On the other side of the line, you hear Alma's sniffles. "Maldito Francisco, eres un estúpido muchacho," Alma mutters, her voice filled with frustration. "Francisco has made a lot of mistakes, but the one thing he didn't mess up was marrying you, mija."

"Gracias, mama. I promise that whatever happens, Ella and I will always be there," you express sincerely.

"Gracias, mija," Alma replies warmly.

"Is it okay if I drop Ella on Saturday around 7:30 am? I have to be at the library by 8:15," you ask.

"Of course, es muy perfecto! I'll make my famous tostadas!" Alma responds enthusiastically, her excitement palpable.

You can't help but let out a laugh at Alma's enthusiasm. "Alma, you know that Ella is just 5 months old, right? She won't be able to taste your famous tostadas for a while yet."

Alma lets out a huff, acknowledging her oversight. "I got ahead of myself; I suppose."

"I'll pump some milk and have it ready for you in her bag," you suggest. After a brief pause, you add, "Will you call me to tell me how everything is going?"

You can hear Alma's affectionate tone as she responds, "Mija, I'll send you updates every hour on your phone, with those messages things you kids always send each other. You don't have to worry. I've raised three babies, and they all reached adulthood, although some have made questionable decisions."

"Thank you so much, Alma. I really appreciate it," you express gratefully, feeling a sense of relief knowing that Ella will be in capable and loving hands.

"ESTRELLA MORALES!" The loud voice of the tall brunette clad in blue scrubs resonates through the large waiting room.

"Sorry, mama, I have to go. It's Ella's turn," you whisper urgently into the phone.

"Te quiero, mija. I will see you tomorrow morning."

Quickly, you close your phone and grab the stroller where Ella is peacefully napping. Gathering your belongings, you ensure that everything is in order before hurrying after the nurse. As she leads you into a smaller room, she introduces herself. "My name is Coral, and I'll be administering the vaccines for little Ella today," she says, reaching for the files on her desk. "I see she is here for the DTaP-IPV-Hib vaccine. It shouldn't take too long."

Coral glances inside the stroller where Ella has woken up from her nap and is looking around anxiously. "Well, isn't she a cutie? Hello, baby," Coral greets Ella warmly, taking out a bright pink rattle and shaking it in front of her. Ella responds with a delighted laugh, momentarily distracted from the unfamiliar surroundings.

"All right, mama, I'm going to need you to hold your baby while I give her the shots. She won't like it, as few babies do, but I'll be as quick as possible," Coral informs you, her professional demeanour evident. She briefly scans the page of Ella's file before her eyes narrow slightly. "I also wanted to confirm something with you. I only see one signature on the parental form, but there is a Francisco Morales listed on Ella's file. Should we be made aware of a change in the files?"

Your heart drops at the insinuation, and a mix of emotions floods over you. "Frankie... I mean, Francisco is Ella's father," you explain, your voice tinged with a touch of defensiveness. "He is currently unable to sign off on the documents due to personal reasons, but I promise he is 100% supportive of every medical decision I make for Ella."

You realize that you're frantically trying to justify yourself to this stranger, feeling the weight of judgment and the need to ensure that Ella's well-being is understood. Coral looks back at you, then at the file, before letting out a sigh. "Look, I'm not trying to trick you," she begins, her voice filled with a mix of empathy and professional concern. "But as medical professionals, we have a responsibility to ensure that the environment at home is safe for Estrella. You understand what I'm saying.” The mere mention of home safety sends a chill down your spine, the silent threat of involving CPS clear in Coral’s tone.

With a knot forming in your stomach, you gather your thoughts and respond cautiously, your voice betraying a hint of fear. "Yes, I understand," you manage to say, trying to keep your composure. "I assure you that Estrella's home environment is safe and loving. We prioritize her well-being above everything else, and we take every precaution to provide her with a secure and nurturing space. My husband is just… unavailable right now.”

Coral glances back at you, her eyes narrowing slightly as she processes your response. "As you say," she acknowledges, her tone carrying a hint of reservation. However, her sunny disposition quickly resurfaces, and a warm smile returns to her face. "All right then," she says, her voice brightening. "Shall we proceed with this little shot?”

MONTH 2 - JULY

You sit outside, enjoying the warmth of the sun on one of the only free benches in front of the library building. With a tomato sandwich in one hand, you type a message to Mrs. Hu, asking about Ella's day so far. Almost immediately, Mrs. Hu responds by sending you an adorable picture of Ella on her belly, reaching for her favourite cat plushy, a big orange thing with oversized ears and fuzzy white paws. It melts your heart, and for the 100th time, you can’t help but be amazed at the wonderful being your love with Frankie created.

Frankie... Oh, Frankie. Today feels bittersweet, as on the one hand, you hadn’t thought of him too much, but on the other hand, you felt guilty because you hadn’t thought of him that much. Some days are almost unbearable, as your mind becomes entangled with memories of… memories of everything before it all went to hell. You replay moments: the goods, the less-than goods and everything in between. But still, all these moments were what made you and Frankie a team, a partnership. It was a life you built together. Still, you couldn’t help but question your actions and wonder if anything could have prevented the events that unfolded over the last two months.

Yet, dwelling on these thoughts only serves to torment you further. Now when these thoughts surface, you try your best to follow the guidance of your new therapist. You try to let the memories wash over you like rain on an umbrella, try to let them come, accept them without letting yourself be ruled by them. But they persist, stubbornly clinging to every corner of your mind. It's a difficult battle, and despite your earnest efforts, grief and longing persistently infiltrate both your waking hours and restless nights. The weight of it all hangs heavily in the air, casting a sad shadow over your life. You yearn for a bit of reprieve from the ceaseless ache that Frankie's absence has left behind. But today is a good day. So far.

The blaring alarm on your phone abruptly interrupts your lunch break, signalling that it's time to return to work. Hastily cramming the last remnants of your sandwich into your mouth, you briskly make your way toward the imposing building. Upon reaching the entrance, you make your way to the help desk, where you settle down and begin reviewing emails and addressing various queries from staff and students.

As you open the first email, which seems to be part of an infinite pile (how is this possible after just half an hour?), your attention is diverted by the approaching figure of the library director. A distinguished-looking older man, his hair hangs in wispy white strands, lending him an air of wisdom. His tweed suit, more reminiscent of academia at Oxford than the sunny locale of Florida, accentuates his scholarly aura.

"Sweetheart, do you mind coming into my office?" You can't help but cringe at the nickname. You've never been fond of the nickname. You were initially uncomfortable but later learned from Roberta, another librarian who looked like she was born between the bookshelves, that he addresses everyone this way. Annoying and reductive, perhaps, but ultimately benign. And honestly, apart from the cringeworthy calling, Director Robertson is an amicable presence with no noteworthy complaints.

"Of course, Mr. Robertson. Would you like me to come in now?" "Yes, please," he says, his fingers delicately twirling his long mustache, "I know you've just returned from your lunch break, so I presume you haven't embarked on any new tasks yet." Captivated momentarily by the whimsical sight of his mustache dance, you acquiesce and rise from your desk before placing a sign that reads "Keep reading - Be back in 15 min." Trotting diligently behind your boss, you traverse the expanse of the library, guided by the soft glow of sunlight streaming through the windows. Finally, you arrive at his office nestled at the rear of the building, granting an enchanting vista overlooking a courtyard where students are rushing to their next classes.

Director Robertson gestures toward the plush, cushioned chair positioned in front of his grand wooden desk, silently inviting you to take a seat. With a touch of unease, you settle into the chair, your hands nervously intertwining in your lap. There's something about Director Robertson's stern grandfatherly demeanour that always makes you feel like a scolded child in his presence. Seeking solace, you follow the advice of your therapist, taking a deep breath and counting silently (1-2-3), before releasing it slowly, allowing the tension to dissipate. Untangling your hands, you place them gingerly on the armrests of the chair. After all, sometimes you have to "fake it till you make it," right?

"What can I do for you, Director?" you inquire, maintaining a composed facade despite the underlying nervousness.

"AH! That's what I appreciate about you, dear!" Director Robertson exclaims with a hint of enthusiasm. "You don't beat around the bush, and you don't try to kiss my ass like everyone else around here!" His words, while somewhat brash, sound genuine.

"I am glad to hear it, sir..." You respond, feeling a sense of perplexity. The sudden shift in conversation catches you off guard, leaving you momentarily lost.

"How is that little girl of yours? Your little baby, right? How old is she now?" Director Robertson inquires, a touch of warmth underlying his words.

"Ella, sir. She's just about 5 months old," you answer, a fondness evident in your voice as you think of your daughter.

"Still so young! Ah, well, you still have a couple of years before she becomes unbearable. I've had 5 of those, my dear, and let me tell you, it doesn't get easier," Director Robertson responds with jovial teasing, his words laced with a sense of seasoned experience.

"Right, well hopefully I'll survive the tween years unscathed," you respond, trying to match Director Robertson's teasing tone.

Director Robertson bursts into a hearty, full-bellied laugh, his amusement filling the room. He reaches inside his desk, retrieving an official-looking letter. "Do you know what this is, dear?" he asks, a gleam of anticipation in his eyes.

"I'm afraid not," you reply, your throat suddenly dry with anticipation.

"This is a job offer that the University of Florida sent me last week for the directorial position in their library," he reveals. Your heart skips a beat. The University of Florida—the dream institution. Positions like that were nearly non-existent, as it seemed their librarians were born and died at their posts, passing the torch down the line.

"That's amazing, sir! You must be really happy," you exclaim, genuine excitement resonating in your voice.

"Well, I declined the offer," Director Robertson confesses nonchalantly, his words causing a mixture of surprise and confusion to wash over you.

"Oh, but why? The University of Florida has some of the best facilities in the state, and the salary must be significantly better than what we have here. And the access to all those books—it must be incredible!" You can't help but let your tone drift into wistfulness, envisioning the possibilities.

"I'm sure it is, but I'm reaching a certain age, and I promised my wife that we'd retire in her family's home in Capua," Director Robertson explains, a hint of nostalgia colouring his words. "Let me tell you, deary, I'll take Capua, Italy over the University of Florida any day. And you know what they say: 'Happy wife, happy life,'" he playfully scrunches his nose. "Make sure your husband remembers that dear," he adds, teasingly.

A heavy rock settles in your belly at his words, but you manage to smile through it. "I'll make sure to remind him," you reply, masking any personal turmoil beneath a veneer of cheerfulness.

"You better. Men sometimes need a good whack on their head to remind them that they would be nothing without their wives," Director Robertson remarks, his fingers fidgeting with his mustache once again, as if deep in thought.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not sure I understand why I'm here," you ask, your uncertainty evident. The words hang in the air, seemingly snapping the older man back into focus. His pale blue eyes settle on you before a secretive smile graces his face.

"Because when I said no, I recommended you for the job, my dear," he reveals, his voice carrying a sense of pride and hidden intentions. Your heart stops, the revelation jolting you with disbelief.

"You... You... You did what?!" you stammer, your voice escalating into a screech. Heat surges through your body, from head to toe, as a mix of shock and astonishment overwhelms you.

"Deary, you've been here for how long? Seven years? And in those seven years, you've completely revamped this library," Director Robertson calmly begins. "All the programs you added for the students have made this place thrive. The faculty-based librarian assistance program was a stroke of genius if I may say so. And the digitalization of our database was an incredible achievement that completely propelled us into the 21st century."

He pauses, allowing his words to sink in. "There was no one I would have felt comfortable recommending, as it is my name on the line. But you, my dear, I know that you have the capacity to make anything your own and make it shine."

The weight of his words hangs in the air, the realization of the immense opportunity dawning upon you. Director Robertson's faith in your abilities washes over you, mingling with the heat that had consumed you moments ago.

"Now, you don't have to accept, of course," Director Robertson remarks, his tone understanding. "The university is about an hour's drive from here, so it would be quite the commute. But it would come with a hefty pay raise." With a swift motion, he slides the papers across the desk, urging you to take a look.

You turn the papers over, and your eyes widen as you see the figures before you. An 8 followed by another 8, followed by a series of zeros that threaten to make you faint. It's more than double your current salary, a staggering amount that fills your mind with all the possibilities that would come with such a raise. "That's... That's a substantial amount of money," you whisper, the words barely escaping your lips. The weight of the figure displayed on the paper sends a shiver down your spine, leaving you momentarily speechless.

"Indeed, deary, indeed," Director Robertson affirms, his voice filled with a sense of reassurance and pride.

"I can't believe it; I don't know how to express my gratitude. Sir, I am so incredibly thankful for this opportunity!" you exclaim, a mixture of excitement and nerves coursing through you. "Should I send an email to someone? Who should I reach out to? Should I prepare for an interview? Oh my god, what about my work here?”

Director Robertson's smile remains warm and comforting. "Please, don't worry about your current work here. I have every confidence that Jocelyn will step up and shoulder her fair share of responsibilities. As for the university, they already have all your information and will soon send you a comprehensive email with all the necessary details. At this stage, any interview would primarily be a formality, as I know without a doubt that you will excel.”

You rise to your feet and extend your hand towards Director Robertson, gripping his hand firmly. "I promise, sir, I won't let you down. I will do my best to be deserving of the trust you have placed in me," you affirm with determination, your voice filled with gratitude.

Director Robertson's eyes soften even further, reflecting a genuine warmth. He clasps your small hand in his wrinkled, larger ones. "There's no need to worry about any of that, my dear. Just go out there, impress them, and let your radiant spirit shine like the sun," he kindly encourages,

Tears well up in your eyes, and with a small, trembling voice, you squeak, "Would it be too presumptuous to ask for a hug, sir?"

Director Robertson's kind smile widens, and he extends his arms, inviting you into an embrace. As he wraps his arms around you, you inhale the comforting scent of old cotton and pines, a fragrance that exudes reassurance and kindness. "Thank you for everything, sir," you murmur, your voice filled with gratitude.

"You deserve every bit of it, my dear. I don't think you fully understand the immense potential that resides within you. If you could truly see it for yourself, you would be unstoppable," Director Robertson assures you, his words resonating deep within your being.

Unstoppable. The word dances in your mind. You like the sound of that.

MONTH 3 – AUGUST

“Estrelita, my little love, I wish I could give you the biggest hug in the whole wide world. Even though Papa is away, please know that you're always on his mind. Let me tell you my all-time favorite story, the one your abuela used to tell your tias and me when we couldn't sleep. It's called "El Conejo y el Coyote," and it starts like this; Una vez el coyote se encontró a un conejito y le dijo….”

Frankie's voice fades as he skillfully imitates the rabbit and the coyote on the recording. Ella seems entranced by the story, yet unsure to hear her papa's voice without seeing him there. You've developed the habit of playing the recording at least once a day for Ella, so she can always be close to her papa, even when he's away. And if you're completely honest with yourself, you also play it for you. Even after all this time, hearing Frankie's voice still makes the butterflies in your stomach flutter.

Frankie's letter remains unopened on your bedside table. You haven't been able to open it yet. You don't know if you will. As much as you miss Frankie and hope he's doing well in rehab, you still don't know what you'll do when he leaves at the end of next month. You know he'll be allowed visitors as of next week, marking three whole months he's been there. But you don't know if you should go if you're completely honest with yourself. You know Ella has to go, that's not even a debate. But should you?

Alma is also unsure if you should go, stating that with your new job and the new hours, you should focus on yourself and Ella. She kindly offered to bring Ella with her when she goes for his weekly allotted visitation time. You might take her up on that offer.

Frankie's voice comes to a stop, signalling that the story is over, and Ella appears heartbroken. You notice her bottom lip flutter angrily, and her face turns red. Unable to resist, you chuckle and say, "Don't get mad peanut. Do you want to listen to your papa's story again?" With a smile, you walk over to the recorder and press rewind, filling the air with Frankie's voice once more. Ella's clapping and happy expression from her playpen make your smile widen.

Currently, she is nestled on a mountain of soft pillows, engrossed in playing with the play gym you got her when the rattle lost its appeal 3 weeks ago. It's hard to believe she's already in her sixth month—time has flown by, and she has grown so quickly. The thought nearly brings tears to your eyes. Ella is determinedly reaching for one of the planets hanging from the chord, but her little arms fall just short of grasping it. You laugh at her expression of determination, reminding you of Frankie and his own determined expression when he was working on revamping an old beat-up mustang, he got at a garage sale.

However, your thoughts are abruptly interrupted by a rapid succession of knocks at your door.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Coming!" you bellow loudly, making your way toward the door.

You open the door and are greeted with Benny's grinning face, in one hand holding a 6-pack of beers and in the other holding a toolbox. You roll your eyes and say, "You didn't have to bring anything, Benny. You're helping me, so I should provide the beer."

Benny smiles and replies, "Don't worry about it, sunshine. I had to make sure the good stuff would be here."

Teasingly, you inquire, "Are you doubting my beer selection, Benny?"

He lets out a laugh and says, "Nah, not you. Just Fish. You know he drinks that watered-down piss that passes for beer. I had to make sure there'd be something with more substance available."

"You're such an idiot, and you know I have tools, right? Frankie's got the locker full of them."

You scratch your head in embarrassment and continue, "I just don't know how to use them, that's all."

Benny laughs and says, "I can't in good conscience use another man's tools. Those things are like sacred, you know? Can't go around and mess up Fish's system or whatever."

You look at the large toolbox and see the name "W. Miller" written in large white letters on the front. You snort, "So that's why you took Will's tools?"

Benny's ear turns slightly pink as he responds, "He's my brother, everything that’s his, is mine or whatever."

You roll your eyes playfully, "All right, well, can I offer you one of the beers you brought then?"

Benny replies, "Nah, not right now, sunshine. I've got to be on my A-game to fix your shit. Where is it, anyway?"

You lead Benny toward the bathroom, where the fan is closed. Flicking one of the two switches, a loud groaning noise emanates from the top of the shower.

"The fan is busted. Now when I take a shower, I turn the whole place into a sauna. And I'm getting a bit afraid that mold or mushrooms are going to appear, you know? The landlord said he was going to fix it, but it's been 3 weeks with no answers. If Frankie were here, he would..."

You stop yourself, not wanting to finish the sentence.

"Anyway, I told the landlord that if he provided the materials, I'd fix it, and here we are."

Benny smiles and says, "Shouldn't be too hard. Are you ready to play assistant contractor, Sunshine?"

You snort and reply, "Sure, boss. Lead the way."

Benny puts the toolbox next to the sink and goes to inspect the damage. You hover around the door, keeping an eye on Ella who is still in the same position as earlier, now listening to Frankie tell a story about two volcanoes who fall in love. The scene brings a smile to your face.

"Hey, assistant, before I get started, do you mind shutting down the electricity for the bathroom, so I don't become Toasted Benny?" Benny asks. You nod and reply, "Sure, give me a sec." Making your way to the electrical box, you turn off the power in the bathroom. On your return, you quickly check on Ella, who is still determined to grab the hanging planet. You smile and give her nose a tiny kiss before making your way back inside the bathroom.

"All closed, Ben," you inform him. Benny responds, "Awesome. Can you grab me one of the adjustable wrenches? It should be on the top of the box. I'll just take out the old fan, disconnect the wiring, and fit the new fan inside. Should be all done in an hour."

You nod and pick up what looks like a wrench, though you're about 73% sure it's the right one. You ask, "Is this okay?" Benny extends his hand and says, "Yep, all good. Give it here." You place the wrench in Benny's hand, and he smiles at you, saying, "See, you aren't so hopeless. By the end of today, you're going to be the best assistant contractor in Florida."

You smile at Benny's puppy-like excitement and reply, "Sure, Ben, sure."

You watch Benny diligently work on the fan, removing the old moldy contraption. He lets out a whistle at the sight and exclaims, "Fuck, when was that thing installed? The fucking Stone Age?"

"Pretty sure caves weren't equipped with centralized electricity," you quip back. Benny looks down from his elevated position on top of the bathtub and retorts, "Ha. Ha. Ha, aren't you clever." You give him a broad smile and reply, "I know, right?!"

"Why don't you be clever over there and throw that old fan away," Benny suggests. You nod and reach for the old fan, making your way toward the bin. As you do, you hear Benny shout after you, "Make sure to bring back the new one!" You roll your eyes playfully and respond, "I'm not that clueless, Benny!" A loud chuckle echoes from the bathroom as you head to the counter where the shiny new fan awaits. Your eyes briefly glance at Ella, and...

"BENNY, BENNY, COME HERE QUICKLY!"

You hear a commotion coming from the bathroom as Benny stumbles out, panicked. "What?! What's wrong?!?!" he exclaims. You simply point to the living room carpet, your eyes filled with happy tears. "Look!!!" you say, barely able to contain your excitement.

Benny follows your gaze and looks down to see Ella on her belly, attempting to crawl toward the coffee table where the recording of Frankie has stopped playing. You urgently shake Benny's arm. "Quick, quick, grab your phone!!! Oh my god, she's never crawled before, Ben!!! I have to film this. Quickly, my phone is in the bedroom, grab yours!!!"

Benny's eyes widen with a mixture of astonishment and joy. Without wasting a second, he retrieves his phone from his pocket and opens the camera “Go to her! I’ll be your own cameraman!!!”

You smile warmly and swiftly make your way to Ella, crouching down next to the coffee table as she momentarily pauses in her crawling. She looks up at you with tired yet determined eyes. "Come on, my little peanut, you're almost there!" you cheer, feeling a surge of pride and excitement. In the background, Benny chimes in with a playful exclamation, "Let's go, Ella! Show them who's the best fucking baby in the world!"

You shoot Benny a disapproving look, and he responds with a sheepish smile. "Sorry, Sunshine, I'm just...so excited!" he says, his words stumbling out of his mouth. Rolling your eyes, you turn your attention back to Ella. "Come on, peanut, you've got this!" you encourage her, your voice filled with loving adoration.

Ella's determined expression, so much like Frankie's, reappears on her face as she resumes her crawling. Benny and you continue to shout words of encouragement, your voices filled with excitement and pride, as she inches closer and closer to her destination.

Finally, Ella reaches the coffee table, and without hesitation, you bend down to grab her, gently scooping her into your arms. Overwhelmed with joy, you give her a crushing hug, unable to contain the immense love and pride you feel in that moment.

"You did so good, baby. Mama is so, so proud of you!" you whisper, your voice filled with pride. With a tender smile, you softly nuzzle your nose against Ella's. Ella coos happily in response, her little sounds of joy filling the air and further melting your heart.

You bring your face up and turn towards Benny, who is still holding the camera, a hopeful look in your eyes. "Did you catch all that, Ben? Wasn't she absolutely amazing?" you ask, eager to hear his response. Benny's face lights up with his signature megawatt smile, and he exclaims, "SHE WAS GREAT!!! Ella, you are just like a shooting shining star!!!”

Benny continues, his excitement contagious. "Now, proud mama, you got anything to say to the camera?" he prompts. With a radiant smile, you twirl around, holding Ella close to your heart. "Only that I've got the bestest little peanut in the whole world!" you declare with overflowing love and pride. Ella lets out a happy squeal in response, and the sound of Benny's laughter echoes in the background.

MONTH FOUR – SEPTEMBER

Frankie found himself seated at one of the picnic tables outside, overlooking the tranquil man-made pond in the rehab facility's backyard. Nervously fidgeting with his fingers, he’s been reflecting all morning on the past three and a half months he’s spent here. His mother had eagerly awaited the fourth month when visitations were permitted. However, Frankie had approached the session coordinator and asked for a delay in visits. Despite his deep desire to see his mother, sisters, daughter, brothers, and… You, he didn't feel emotionally prepared for it. Not yet.

The day before September 1st, Frankie had experienced a crippling panic attack that left him completely incapacitated. The following morning, he gathered the courage to stride into the office of the head therapist. Once there, Frankie had explained to him that he needed more time before he would be able to face anyone. Dr. Stevens had smiled and told Frankie how proud he was that he was finally setting boundaries and acknowledging his limits. If there was on thing Frankie’s time in the rehab had taught him, it was the value of recognizing his own needs, a lesson he had never truly internalized during his years in the army. He had become so accustomed to unquestioningly following orders, regardless of the harm they inflicted on him, that he had forgotten that he needed to care for himself and listened to his needs sometimes.

During therapy sessions, Dr. Stevens had emphasized the significance of listening to Frankie's own desires and engaging in introspection. The therapist pointed out that, by consistently ignoring his own wants, Frankie's inner turmoil found an outlet through self-destructive behaviours. Dr. Stevens believed that if Frankie started paying attention to his own needs and delved deeper into self-reflection, the compulsion to numb his pain with cocaine might gradually diminish, even if only minimally.

Frankie sighed heavily, his hand sweeping across his face as he noticed a mother duck leading her adorable ducklings across the serene lake. These past few months had undoubtedly been the most challenging period he had ever faced, and Frankie had been shot multiple times before. So that’s saying something. Confronting the stark contrast between the person he believed himself to be and the person he had become, all while battling intense withdrawal symptoms, had left him feeling lethargic during the initial weeks.

Throughout his life, Frankie had always viewed himself as a provider, a dependable man on whom others could rely. Memories flooded his mind, particularly the day his father passed away when Frankie was just a young boy. He vividly recalled how, the day before his father's death, the man he had admired for his strength and dedication to his family had called upon ten-year-old Frankie. "Francisco," his father had spoken with pain, surrounded by the incessant beeping of medical equipment, "I need you to take care of your mother and sisters when I'm gone. You will be the man of the house, and it's your responsibility to look after those you love."

Frankie had internalized those words and earnestly tried to fulfill his father's wishes, caring for his mother, sisters, and eventually you and Ella. However, in the end, he felt that he had failed spectacularly. When he confessed these deep fears to Dr. Stevens, a wave of vulnerability washed over him, tears streaming down his face. The older therapist regarded Frankie with a sympathetic expression, moving closer and offering a tissue.

"You haven't failed anyone, Francisco," Dr. Stevens reassured him, gently patting his back. "Yes, you've made mistakes, but now you are making the right choices and striving to make amends. You don't have to live up to any expectations or face external pressures alone. Your focus should be on taking each day as it comes. As long as you care for your wife and your little girl, it will be enough. I am certain that if they were here, they would tell you the same."

Then, Dr. Stevens had Frankie make lists. A list of the things he was most afraid of:

Loosing you and Ella for good

Seeing his brothers die

His mother never forgiving him

Dying before he could see Ella grow up

Not being the man, his father wanted him to be.

Then a list of all those he had hurt,

You and Ella, the two persons cherished the most.

Ben, Will and Pope, the brothers who counted on him and whom he let down.

His mother who didn’t raise him to be what he his today

Tom, whose life was lost due to the choices he made.

Himself himself

Then a list of all he regretted

Lying to you, betraying your trust.

Bringing drugs home, staining the sanctity of the home you built together

Taking your love for granted, failing to appreciate you.

Keeping himself closed off, unable to fully express his emotions.

Shooting first Causing Tom’s death

After finishing the lists, Frankie was instructed to go back to his room and engage and reflect on what he had written. Left alone with his thoughts, Frankie delved into the profound weight of his past actions and the far-reaching consequences they had on the people in his life.

Even though it was incredibly tough, Frankie drew strength from imagining you and Ella right there with him, offering unwavering support. Your smiles and hopeful expressions fueled his determination when he felt overwhelmed and tempted to give up.

Frankie knew how crucial it was to take his recovery seriously. He understood that unless he fully committed to it, the chances of winning you back would dwindle. But it wasn't just the fear of losing you that pushed him forward. Deep down, he genuinely wanted to change. He wanted to be a better man, not just for you but also for himself. He didn't want to be that scared and dishonest boy anymore.

Frankie was well aware of the pain he had caused you, and he acknowledged that the drugs were only a fragment of the larger issue. He understood that his actions stemmed from a deeper problem — his reluctance to open up and reveal the parts of himself he found most fearful and repulsive. The mere thought of you looking at him with disgust in your eyes was unbearable to him.

Deep down, Frankie knew that such concerns were unfounded. He knew that you would never judge him for his past or hold his mistakes against him. However, fear and self-hatred have a way of distorting one's thoughts and leading to irrational behaviour. Frankie recognized the irrationality of his actions and the influence fear and self-doubt had over his decisions.

But Frankie was learning. He was slowly coming to terms with the fact that his fears and self-judgment were hindering his progress. He began to realize that the path to healing required vulnerability and trust, especially in his relationship with you. Overcoming his own insecurities and learning to open up was a crucial step towards rebuilding the trust he had broken.

For Frankie and you to have a chance at reuniting, he understood the importance of treating you as an equal partner, rather than just his wife in need of protection. Opening up and being honest with you were crucial steps he needed to take. In the group therapy sessions, the topic of his treatment towards you had come up, and one woman in particular, Ronnie, didn't hold back in expressing her opinion. She bluntly stated that if she were in your position, she would have swiftly shown Frankie the door, recounting her own experience with an ex-husband who had been a taciturn statue throughout their short-lived marriage.

Ronnie's words struck a nerve with Frankie, leaving him feeling exposed and vulnerable. He felt raw and tender. But he could only acknowledge that she had a valid point. He had failed to communicate and share his thoughts and emotions with you, and that had taken a toll on your relationship.

Dr. Stevens had attempted to calm the group, but the impact of Ronnie's words lingered within Frankie for a couple of days afterward. Frankie had no choice but to confront the truth of how his behaviour had affected you and how he had fallen short of being the partner you deserved.

Frankie's thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a firm clap on his back, drawing his attention away from the peaceful pond. Frankie's face lit up with genuine joy when he catches the blue eyes of Will looking back at him.

"Will! Man, it's so good to see you!" Frankie exclaims, rising from his seat to embrace his friend in a tight hug. "How have you been, brother?"

"Good, good. Same old routine—VA visits, giving speeches, and keeping Benny out of trouble," Will replies, "Oh, and I might have met someone special," he adds, a playful grin on his face.

Frankie's face lit up even more. "That's fantastic, Will! I'm really happy for you," he exclaims, gesturing for his friend to take a seat on the opposite side of the picnic table. "This spot gives you the best view of this place," Frankie remarks, pointing towards the serene pond and the ducks swimming on its surface.

Will settles into the seat with a contented smile. "I can see why," he replies, appreciating the calm scene. His eyes then shifted to Frankie, noticing a change in his friend's demeanour. "You look good, Fish. Actually, better than I've seen you in a while," Will remarks, his voice filled with genuine warmth.

Frankie's expression softens, gratitude filling his gaze. "Thanks, Will. I feel good too," he confesses, a mix of relief and newfound understanding in his voice. "Being here has given me the time and space to confront things I wasn't ready to face about myself. I wish I had done it sooner, instead of being so stubborn. It was the best thing I could have done for myself and for them," he explains.

Will's smile widens, expressing his genuine happiness for his friend. "I'm glad to hear it, Fish," he replies warmly.

As the two friends catch up, their conversation started to delve into the time they had spent apart. Frankie eagerly sharing his experiences in group therapy and the progress he had made with his personal therapist. He spoke openly about the challenges he faced during the initial month of withdrawal, recounting the intense loneliness that had enveloped him during that period.

Frankie's voice grew heavier as he broached the topic of guilt surrounding Tom's death. Will's gaze turned serious, his eyes locked onto Frankie's, conveying a sense of understanding and empathy. With a firm conviction in his voice, Will interrupted Frankie's self-blame.

"None, and I mean it, Fish," Will asserts, his words laced with sincerity. "None of what happened in Colombia was your fault. We all had a part to play in those circumstances, and you don't have to shoulder that burden alone, alright?"

Tears welled up in Frankie's eyes as he nodded, his voice trembling with gratitude. "Thank you, Will," he chokes out, his voice thick with emotion. "I needed to hear that, to be reminded that I'm not alone in this. It means the world to me."

Will reaches out and places a comforting hand on Frankie's shoulder, offering both physical and emotional support. "You never have to face this journey alone, Fish," Will assures him, his voice filled with unwavering loyalty. "We're in this together, and I'll always be here for you."

A brief pause hung in the air as Frankie's gaze shifted to the side, a touch of melancholy crossing his face. He mustered the courage to ask the question that had been weighing on his mind, his voice tinged with longing. "Did you see my wife and Ella while I was away... How... How are they doing?"

Will's smile softens, his own eyes wandering toward the ducks in the distance. "They seemed well," he replies. "Ella grew like a weed, you know. And your lady, she's doing great. Got herself a new job with better pay. I could tell she was really proud of it."

Frankie closes his eyes, allowing the words to wash over him. For a fleeting moment, guilt threatens to seep in—the guilt of not being there by your side. But just as quickly, it dissipates, replaced by an overwhelming sense of love and admiration for you and the strides you were making while he focuses on his own journey of healing. "A promotion, huh? She's so smart. I can't wait to tell her how happy I am for her," he whispers. A spark of excitement flickers within him. "Did you guys celebrate? Because I can organize something once I'm out."

Will's smile broadens. "We thought we'd wait for you, but we did take her and Ella to Outback Steakhouse," he reveals. "Is she planning to visit before you leave?"

"I'll be out in two weeks, and Mama is coming with Ella next week, but I think it's best if we wait until I'm out," Frankie explains, his voice tinged with a mix of longing and practicality.

"That's fair," Will nods understandingly. "She seems well, Fish, but I can tell she's lonely. She looks like she misses you."

Frankie's eyes brim with tender determination, "She could never miss me as much as I miss her and Ella. This time here has made me realize how fortunate I am and how close I came to squandering it all. I'll never make that mistake again, Will, believe me."

A twinkle appears in Will's eyes as he reaches for his back pocket. "Wait, I have something for you," he said, pulling out his phone and opening the camera app. He scrolls through a collection of pictures; some he had taken himself and others that you had sent to him. "These are for you. Your lady wanted to make sure you knew they were doing all right."

As Frankie continues scrolling through the photo albums, he was greeted by a plethora of precious moments captured between you and Ella. Each image held its own story, showcasing the love and joy that radiated from your little family. In some pictures, you cradled Ella in your arms, your eyes filled with tenderness. Other photos focused solely on Ella, capturing her adorable expressions and mischievous nature. And then there were the silly selfies—the ones that always brought a smile to Frankie's face. They were the ones you both loved to take, capturing the candid, carefree moments of your lives.

There were morning snapshots, featuring tousled bedheads and tired smiles, Ella playfully blowing raspberries at the camera. Other pictures overflowed with warmth and sunshine, showcasing the adventures you embarked on during the summer. Ella in her tiny bathing suit, her chubby fingers clutching a plush cat toy. You and Ella wearing matching sundresses adorned with elephants, holding a basket full of produce from the farmer’s market. Frankie's heart swells as he sees an image of you delicately feeding Ella a small bite of ice cream.

Tears well up in Frankie's eyes—a mixture of longing and joy. Joy because he is so grateful to see you both thriving and creating beautiful memories. Sadness because he has missed out on these precious moments. As he continues scrolling, he stumbles on a video. With a quick double-tap, he initiates the playback, and your voice resonates from the phone's speakers.

"Come on, quickly, take out your camera..." your voice echoes, filled with excitement.

"Fish, wait a second, you should turn that off," Will's voice interjects, attempting to grab the phone.

But Frankie evades him, his body turning towards the lake, his back to Will. His heart yearns to hear your voice, to immerse himself in the presence of the family he deeply misses. The camera comes into focus, and there you are crouched next to the coffee table with Ella... Is she crawling?! Frankie's heart tightens as he watches his little Estrelita grow up right before his eyes, slowly making her way toward you.

And then he hears it, a voice echoing through the phone, "Go to her! I'll be your personal cameraman!!!" It's Benny's voice and Frankie's body tenses in response. The video continues, capturing your shouts of encouragement to Ella, and even Benny's voice cheering, "Let's go, Ella! Show them who's the best fucking baby in the world!"

Frankie catches your disapproving look at the camera, and Benny offering a sheepish apology. Sunshine. Benny called you sunshine. But it's just Benny being Benny, right? It has to be. Benny would never... he couldn't possibly… Do that. But deep down, Frankie can't help his mind from wandering into unsettling territory.

The video plays on, but Frankie's focus wavers. He can't seem to see anything else on the screen. And then, finally, Ella reaches you, and Frankie is jolted from his daze by your scream of excitement. Suddenly, a cold shock washes over him as he hears Benny's voice again, "Now, proud mama, you got anything to say to the camera?"

Your radiant smile is directed at Benny; Ella's happy satisfied face is all for Benny—it's all too much. He isn't there. But Benny is. Benny is there. Frankie can feel himself spiralling.

The phone is snatched from his hands, and Will sits down next to Frankie, gripping his shoulder firmly. "Benny was just there that day to fix the fan in the bathroom, it was all just circumstances, I promise you," Will reassures him. Frankie's voice trembles as he responds, "The fan was broken? And I wasn't there to fix it. But Benny was."

"No!" Will's voice booms with determination. "Don't go down that road, Fish. Understand? There's nothing going on between your lady and Benny. You've made incredible progress these past few months, and I'll be damned if you let yourself fall into another dark place. I wasn't there last time, but this time, I'm right here with you!"

Frankie's mind whispers, "Maybe it would be easier if I didn't come back. She has a new job, and Ella seems well. They'd probably be better off without me." He looks down at the ground, feeling his hands twist anxiously.

"Are you kidding me?!" Will exclaims. "Frankie, these girls love you more than anything in this world. If you leave, they'd be shattered. You're not thinking straight right now. Remember why you made that recording? So that Ella wouldn’t forget your voice. Fish, you knew you'd miss a lot of things by being here. But look, today you've been telling me how much progress you've made, how you're ready to open up and communicate better with your lady. With us. Well, let me introduce you to a new concept: trust. You need to trust that she would never do anything to hurt you. And you need to trust that Benny would never betray his own brother like that, okay?" Frankie takes a deep breath, absorbing Will's words.

“You are right. Of course, you are right. Sorry for freaking out like that.”

"It's all right. Are you really okay though?" Will's voice is filled with genuine concern.

Frankie's mind balks. Is he really… Okay? He doesn't have a definite answer. The old Frankie would have brushed it off, assuring Will that he was fine and that he didn’t care that Benny was seemingly playing house with you and Ella. Then he’d go snort a line in the bathroom to take the edge off.

"I don't know, Will. I don't know if I'll ever be all right." Frankie puts his head in his hands, feeling the weight of his emotions bearing down on him. Will places a reassuring hand on Frankie's upper back. "Then we'll take it one day at a time.”

One day at a time. Just 14 more days until he sees you and Ella again. Only 14 days until you decide if you want him back. Just 14 days until he must confront the consequences of his actions and the pain, he caused you over the past few years. Those 14 days stretch before him, both seemingly endless and surprisingly close. Is he truly ready? The honest answer is, he doesn't know.

Next chapter

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silviakundera · 11 months ago

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Empresses in the Palace ep 16

"And now she dares to take away my Persian Ink!" Hard agree, my darling Hua Fei. Screwing your man is one thing, but fucking with your brows is another!! ✊

but babe, why u want to live with a baby??

Lmao look I know its A BABY but it's a fictional one and I'm amused that her palace is so crap at taking care of it. My career girl is just NOT the maternal type. Drugs the kid with crushed sleeping pills; "It works just fine on me." lmaoooooo

ffffuvk she's looking ragged in front of the emperor GURL let that baby go. Neither of you are having a good time.

Zhen Huan, I know the emperor is your dad's age but this fickle dude that might kill you or your besties someday is not the DILF protector you need, in metaphorical OR literal thunderstorms.

Empress savoring the new girl being humiliated by the new new girl 💅

While Zhen Huan plans for the long game by serving up Ling Rong. She's in it to win it now. Definitely feeling disconcerted about matchmaking her friend with her husband but willing to do it so they have a stronger backing in the palace. The first sign for me tbh that she could be empress material. And tbh for once the Empress isn't laying it on thick. LR truly has a celestial voice. Consort Yu supposedly was admired for her pipes but she has nothing on LR. The way she looks back. Yaaaasss always leave them wanting more.

That half-sister is gonna become a real problem.

me trying to picture how u draw eyebrows "like distant mountains"

ep 17

Prince Guo is not hot but not grandpa. He's also not the source of humiliation & suffering for a busload of ladies. I'm sold! yeah, I ship it. Please bang in despair at your wasted lives at least once, thx.

Hua Fei taking a big swing to frame up Zhen Huan by poisoning the favored baby. But it's not actually that risky, because her brother is impeccable armor.

Duan Fei is the real MVP. Everyone knows she's lying but the emperor clearly respects her and isn't willing to embarass her. No more than he's willing to severely punish my gf Hua.

Hope Duan gets her revenge.

Ep 18

So the emperor totally knows Hua Fei posioned the kid that he actually likes, but General Nian's skills trump all.

I'm honestly not sure if Zhen Huan should be trying to push the emperor to not reward Hua Fei. He's gonna do what he thinks he needs to.

Half-sister Huanbi is getting on my NERVES. And finally ZH's, thank god.

Prince Guo is so chill. He just strolled by like, hey crying servant, what's up? oh, somebody dissed your look? you're doing amazing sweetie, don't worry be happy. (Exit stage left.)

I think I love him.

Our protagonist with a BIG WIN. (crowd sounds) 👏 👏 proved half-sister is a traitor and her nemesis finally annoyed the emperor enough that she'll miss a promotion.

Girl, u know I love u. You're the only one for me. But Hua Fei, darling, you really need to properly space out your scheming. It's too much. The man needs some time, space, and calm to properly ponder how much he loves & appreciates your brother.

Ep 19

This episode should be subtitled "The Tale of Two Loves' or '2 Ships For The Price of One'.

First she risks it all to sneak in to hold hands longingly and shed tender tears with her Mei Zihuang. Then romantic coincidental rescue by Prince Guo and a late night boat ride with poetry & literature musings.

And I'm winning because I ship both of them.

Not sure how I feel about Half-Sister Intervention. Huanbi's situation is fucked and in a different drama she'd be the revenge-seeking protagonist. But she's also dumb as hell to want to join the harem and give up the chance to escape to a normal life. She's seen what a hell this place is. Ultimately, she has reason to resent ZH and their family. And she has a dangerous secret. What if she flips again? Just get rid of her ASAP. It's life & death struggles over here, no space for second chances.

#empresses in the palace #cdrama #i binged yesterday waiting for Love Song for Ilusion 2 weekly ep to drop #now today i can catch up in peace #the soothing thing about horror for me #is that i know most everyone is fated for a bad end #it removes stress and tension from me #im just watching these lil guys on the screen have hilariously awful things happen to them #oh look its a series of unfortunate events 😯

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rikaluver · 1 year ago

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If You Seek Amy - William Afton x Fem!Reader

Rating - Hard Smut

Word Count: 3.2k

Also available on AO3

The amount of patience that parents have is astronomically impressive to you. Kids are a handful. You're glad you don't have any because if you did, your brain matter would be splattered all over the wall. You're about to lose it. A toddler in a shopping cart is wailing. The little girl beside her is crying as well, both of them in an unholy cacophony of noise. It's hard to believe how such a small child can make such a big, terrible sound. Your fingers are pressed firmly into your temples, trying to alleviate the pounding headache that's been steadily growing for the past half hour.

"I'm gonna step outside and get some fresh air. You'll be alright for the next few minutes, right?" You ask your coworker who doesn't even give you the time of day and instead waves her hand, shooing you off.

You push through the backdoor, letting the door swing shut behind you. It's still loud, just a little less loud than before. You can actually hear your thoughts now. It's not too chilly, but there's a nice, cool breeze blowing that ruffles your hair and brushes against your skin. You breathe in deeply, taking a moment to appreciate the fact that you aren't inside a store that reeks of baby vomit and urine. You walk around back of the diner before you pull a cigarette out of the box you've been carrying around with you and light it up.

The first puff feels good. The smoke is smooth and warm as it passes through your lips. You can feel your nerves relaxing as the smoke enters your lungs. It's like a drug and you've been jonesing for it ever since your shift started. You exhale slowly and the smoke escapes you in a thin, white stream. There's a bit of a haze around you as you puff away on the cigarette, trying to make this last as long as possible.

You're not given smoke breaks during work, you're not even allowed to have cigarettes on you while you're working. You're not quite sure what would happen if you got caught, but you try not to worry too much about it. You don't need additional stress from worrying about the consequences of your actions.

The backdoor swings open and you expect another employee coming out back for a smoke as well, or maybe to throw something in the trash, but instead you're greeted by your boss, William Afton. His presence sends a jolt through your body, making you stand a little straighter and the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. He's a tall man with a lanky build. He's very thin, not much in the way of muscle. Somehow, he remains threatening and imposing even though he's so skinny. The first time you saw him, you remember being startled by the way he carries himself. He's so thin, yet so strong, he exudes a certain confidence that makes him seem bigger than he actually is.

He looks at you for a moment, his face blank. You can't read him and you never can. He's a closed book, always. You hold his gaze, refusing to look away. His eyes are so dark, a deep, stormy grey. They're piercing and cold and it feels as though he's staring straight through you.

"Sorry, I'll put it out." You say, stumbling over your words.

"Oh, don't stop on my account. In fact, can I bum a fag?"

You stare at him confused. "Excuse me?"

"You got another one on you?" He points to the cigarette in your hand.

"Oh, uh, yeah."

"Give me one."

You pull the box out of your pocket and toss it to him. He catches it and pulls out a cigarette. You're surprised he's even able to fit his long, spindly fingers into your tiny pack of smokes. He puts the cigarette between his lips and pats his pockets, looking for a lighter.

"Here, let me." You pull your own lighter out of your pocket and light it, holding the flame out to him. William leans in, cupping his hands around the flame as he lights his cigarette. He's close enough that you can see the little, black flecks in his steel-grey eyes. The flames cast a warm glow on his face. For a brief second, he looks gentle. As quickly as it had come, the warmth in his eyes is gone.

"Thanks." He mutters and stands back, blowing a puff of smoke out of his mouth.

For several minutes the two of you are silent, standing side by side and smoking. You wonder if this is a test or something. Why is he still here? Does he want to talk to you? Is this a trick? What does he want? You glance over at him and you're a little shocked when you realize he's staring at you. A chill runs down your spine and your heart skips a beat. You avert your eyes, but you can still feel him watching you. It's unnerving and uncomfortable, but you're also strangely turned on. You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks. You can't tell if you're blushing because he's so close, or because he's been staring at you. Either way, it's embarrassing.

After several more painfully awkward minutes, you clear your throat. "Did you need something from me, sir?" You ask, breaking the silence between the two of you. You can't handle the tension anymore. It's thick and heavy and smothering. If this continues any longer, you'll have a heart attack or spontaneously combust. It's one of the two. Maybe both. This is not good for your health.

He looks down at you, cocking his head to the side. "Do I need a reason to stand outside and smoke?" He asks his tone light and mocking. You can feel the condescension dripping from his voice. He takes another drag of his cigarette and blows the smoke into your face, causing you to cough and sputter. He laughs. You scowl and wave your hand in front of your face, trying to dispel the smoke and glare at him. His grin widens and he gives you a playful nudge. It's not forceful enough to send you sprawling to the ground, but it's not a gentle touch either. He's still stronger than he looks.

"Why don't we have smoke breaks when you smoke?" You ask, genuinely curious.

"Because Henry wants to promote healthy habits, you numpty." He replies, rolling his eyes. "We can't very well preach healthy eating and exercise habits and then turn around and tell our customers that we support and encourage unhealthy smoking habits. It'd make us hypocrites." He shrugs and takes another drag of his cigarette before adding, "Or so he says."

"So why are you-" You start to ask, but he interrupts you with a scoff.

"I'm a hypocrite." He deadpans, a slight smirk on his face.

That elicits a soft chuckle from you. "I can't argue with that." You smile a little and he returns the gesture. He's actually smiling at you and you feel your chest tighten and your heart starts beating rapidly. This is a bad sign. Your pulse is racing and your palms are getting sweaty. You've always been attracted to him, but the way he's been acting has really caught you off guard. Maybe he's just being nice. That could be a possibility. But then again, it's William Afton. Being nice isn't his style. You try not to dwell on it too much. You're going to get ahead of yourself if you keep thinking like this. It's just a smoke break. He's not flirting with you, he's just smoking. You're being silly.

Still, the butterflies in your stomach are making it difficult to stay calm. He's so close and he smells amazing and his presence is intoxicating and you're losing your mind. You take a deep breath and try to focus on something else. Anything else. Anything to distract you from this situation. You look up at the sky, but the clouds have gotten a lot darker since the last time you looked up. The air feels different, heavy. You can smell the rain coming. You finish off your cigarette and flick it away. The wind is picking up. You're going to have to get back inside soon or you're going to get wet.

You put your cigarette out on the wall behind you and toss it into the dumpster. You glance over at William, who's still smoking away. His eyes are closed and his head is tilted back. He looks so relaxed. You've never seen him like this before. He's always wound up so tightly, always so tense and rigid, but right now he looks completely at ease. His shoulders are loose, his posture is open, his jaw isn't clenched, his expression is calm.

You start to head back inside but stop when you hear him call your name. You turn around and see him looking at you. His expression is blank, giving nothing away. You have no idea what he's thinking or feeling. You hesitate, unsure if you should even answer him or not. He beckons you back and you approach him, a little hesitant. You're not sure what he wants, but you know you can't ignore him. If he wants you to do something, you have to do it. You won't defy him, even if it means doing something you might not want to do. It's not an issue of obedience, it's an issue of respect.

“You know you’re not supposed to smoke around here,” he takes a long drag from his cigarette.

You’re not sure why but you sort of expected him to be cool with you smoking, especially since you lent him one of your cigarettes. You already don’t get paid enough so you can’t afford to get paid less than this.

“No, what? You can’t.”

“Oh? Why can’t I?” He’s now staring you straight in the eyes, towering over you. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on a lot. The feeling of being vulnerable to someone to someone has always had a way of exciting you. You find yourself at a loss for words and stumble over the non-existent words you’re trying to get out.

"I could let this go, though." His eyes narrow as he continues, "what're you willing to give me for your freedom?"

His question catches you off guard, causing your breath to hitch. You can't be suggesting what you think he's suggesting, right? Surely, he can't be implying that you give him something in exchange for him not ratting you out, can he? The way he's staring at you makes it difficult to think clearly. His gaze is intense, burning into you.

You consider saying no, but the words are caught in your throat. You don't want to risk losing your job over a couple of smokes. "What do you mean?"

William leans forward and whispers in your ear, "you know exactly what I mean." He pulls back slightly, his face inches from yours. His expression is hard and cold. He looks so intimidating, but you can't help but find him incredibly attractive. The thought of submitting to him makes you weak in the knees. It's wrong, but it's also really hot. You can't deny the way your heart is pounding in your chest. Your breath catches in your throat and you bite your lip. Your mind is racing. You want him. You want him to take control. You want him to dominate you. It's a dangerous game, but you can't resist. You don't want to. The temptation is too strong, too powerful. You can't stop yourself. You can't fight it.

Your lips meet his and he kisses you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth. You can taste the cigarette on his breath, along with something else, something sweet. He tastes delicious and you moan into his mouth. He pulls away and looks down at you, a grin on his face. "Hand." He demands. You're not sure why he's treating you like some kind of dog, but you're kind of into it. You oblige and put your hand out only to be met by a sickening burn. Your eyes widen in shock and you yelp as you watch him put out his cigarette butt on your arm.

You stare up at him, your heart pounding. You're not sure if you're turned on or afraid. Probably both. Definitely both. His eyes are dark and dangerous. They're filled with lust and power. He's got you right where he wants you. You're trapped. He has complete control over you and he knows it.

Before you can react, his lips are on your neck and your back is against the wall. He's kissing and biting, leaving bruises and marks all over your skin. You squirm beneath him, whimpering. He chuckles and his hand slips into your pants, cupping your cunt. His fingers press into your slit and your hips buck involuntarily. You moan and squeeze your thighs together, trapping his hand. His other hand moves to your breasts and begins squeezing and kneading. You arch your back, pressing your body against his.

He grinds his palm into your clit and you moan. His teeth graze your neck and his breath is hot against your skin. His fingers slip inside you and your walls contract around him. He bites down hard, drawing blood. You gasp and he grins against your skin.

He pulls his hand away and takes a step back. "Get on your knees." He orders. You obey without hesitation. Your legs are shaking and your knees are weak, but you manage to lower yourself onto the ground. Your head is spinning and you're dizzy. His fingers are sticky with your juices and he brings them up to your mouth.

"Open." He commands. You part your lips and his fingers slip into your mouth. Your tongue swirls around his digits, tasting yourself. It's salty and sweet and it makes your stomach flip. He pulls his fingers out of your mouth and places his hand on your head. He strokes your hair and leans forward, whispering in your ear, "that's a good girl."

Goosebumps rise on your arms and a shiver runs down your spine. The way he says that sends a thrill through you. Your pulse quickens and your heart beats faster. Your pussy is aching and throbbing and you want more. You need more. Your fingers slide down and press against your clit. He watches you with amusement as you pleasure yourself. His dick is straining against his pants and his hand moves to unbuckle his belt.

He frees his dick and strokes it slowly, rubbing the tip against your cheek. You look up at him, eyes wide, pleading. You can feel his hot, hard dick pressed against your skin. You're desperate for his cock. You need it inside you. You need him to fuck you. You whimper and whine and he chuckles. He grabs a handful of your hair and yanks your head back. Your scalp burns and you cry out in pain. Tears well up in your eyes and he smiles down at you, enjoying your discomfort. He pulls his hips back and thrusts his cock into your mouth. You gag as his length slides down your throat. Your body tenses and your eyes roll back in your head. You're choking, but you're unable to pull away. His grip is firm and he's not letting go any time soon.

"Go on." He commands. His voice is low and demanding. He doesn't have to tell you twice. You take his entire length down your throat, gagging and choking. His balls slap against your chin and his tip hits the back of your throat. You moan and your throat contracts, sending vibrations throughout his dick. You can feel him getting harder and thicker and his breathing is growing ragged.

His fingers tug at your hair and his nails dig into your scalp. He's using your hair as a handle and he's pulling you up and down, fucking your mouth while you fuck yourself with your fingers. Your jaw aches and your eyes are watering. Your nose is running and your chin is dripping with drool. It's disgusting, but you can't help it. You can't stop yourself. You love being used like this. You love the pain and the humiliation. You love being degraded and demeaned. You're a slut and you're getting off on being treated like a piece of meat.

Your tongue wraps around his shaft and you suck, bobbing your head up and down, taking him as deep as you can. You can't fit his whole length into your mouth, but it doesn't matter. You're still pleasing him. His hips buck and he moans. His hands leave your head and move to your shoulders, holding you down.

Your pussy is drenched and your body is quivering. Your orgasm is building and you can feel it coming. You look up at him, tears streaking down your cheeks. Your eyes are wide and pleading. Your mouth is stuffed full of cock and you can't speak. Your pussy is begging for attention and you're desperate to cum. Your fingers move frantically, pumping in and out of your slick, wet hole. You can feel his tip sliding against the roof of your mouth and his thick shaft stretching your jaw. You're so close, you're almost there. Just a little bit more and-

"You wanna cum?" He asks, his voice strained. He's breathing heavily and his grip on your shoulders tightens. He's close too. You nod as best as you can and he smiles. He pulls his hips back and thrusts his dick back into your mouth. You gag and choke and he laughs. His cock twitches and you can feel him shooting his hot, sticky load into your throat. He's cumming hard and he's not holding back. He's using you. He's using your mouth like a fleshlight. He's making you his own personal toy. You're a living, breathing sex doll and he's having his way with you. It's disgusting and perverted and it makes you so horny.

His cum overflows from your mouth and drips down your chin as you try your best to swallow it all. It's a struggle and it's making a mess, but it's worth it. It's so fucking worth it.

Before you know it, he's zipping himself back up and making way to the door. You're panting, trying to catch your breath. Your throat is sore and raw. Your jaw aches. You're covered in sweat and tears. Your face is sticky and your mouth is still full of his seed. And you're still fucking yourself.

"You can cum now, pretty girl." He says and walks back inside. You do as you're told and orgasm, letting out a pathetic moan. As much as you wanted to, you couldn't help yourself. You needed to cum. You were a mess, covered in spit and cum and tears. Your hair is a tangled mess and you can't see straight. You're exhausted and completely spent. Your muscles are sore and your legs are weak. You're shaking and your chest is heaving. You're a total wreck.

But, hey, at least you keep your pay.

#william afton #william afton fnaf #fanfic #fnaf fanfic #tags are so stupid

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stories-poetry4all · 1 year ago

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“How does she taste, Calix?” I heard my alpha mates talking. It’s my first time so I couldn’t take more than one of them at once, so Alex and Felix had to wait.

“Sweet, and tight,” said Calix matter-of-factly, looking at me with soft, loving eyes.

“Me next,” said Felix with lvstful and hungry eyes. “We’re going easy on you tonight, Baby, but tomorrow you're gonna have to learn how to take all of us. AT ONCE. Ok?”

“Yes, Daddy,” was all I could say as he grabbed my...

------

Tomorrow was my birthday, not that anyone cared or even remembered because it was also the birthday of the Thorn Triplets. The Thorn Triplets were the pride and joy of the Winter Moon Pack. They were the sons of Alpha Romeo Thorn. They were filthy rich, devilishly handsome and disgustingly arrogant. All the young she-wolves adored them wholeheartedly and stroked their egos on a daily basis. I was cursed to share a birthday and a home with them.

At the tender age of nine, my drug-addicted parents left the pack to go rogue and had not been seen or heard from since. They left no instructions regarding their wishes for me so I was taken into the pack house under the care of Alpha Romeo and his wife, Ronnie. As if I had not been devastated enough, I now had three twelve-year old tormenters. The identical triplet sons of the Alpha were, in order of birth, Alex, Felix and Calix. They despised me and ensured that I knew I was beneath them. My parents had incurred a huge debt due to their drug seeking habits which was paid off by the Alpha. Thus, I had to earn my keep and repay my debt by doing as many chores as possible while the triplets enjoyed an idyllic childhood in the very same house.

In some packs the new Alpha ascends at age eighteen when they first shift but in mine, the age for ascension was twenty one. Thus tomorrow, on November eleventh, the triplets would turn twenty-one and take over the pack while I would turn eighteen and experience my first shift. Eighteen was also the minimum age when werewolves found their fated mate but I did not care about that. All I wanted was to come of age so I could leave this behind.

At least, the pack house had beautiful scenery. We were close to the north pole so snow was an everyday affair though there was no sign of Santa Claus. I certainly did not expect any birthday presents this November or Christmas presents come December. The pack made it clear that I owed them money and they were subtracting everything they did not spend on me from the huge debt. They also subtracted my “wages” from the debt so I was never given any money. I was allowed food, clothes and shelter, the basics.

I slowly got out of bed. The sun was just peeking out from behind a snow-covered horizon. Everything glistened. I gazed out my window at the wintry terrain. I sighed. I had to start making breakfast for everyone. Despite the huge size of the pack house with its luxurious bedrooms and bathrooms, I was given a small empty storage room to stay in. I had a cot, a shelf of second-hand books and a single drawer full of second hand clothes. The other drawers contained extra cleaning supplies as I did the housekeeping work also.

I used the common room’s bathroom, showering quickly. I looked at myself in the mirror. My parents had name me Chasity but everyone in the pack called me Charity. This was started by the triplets as a joke and because they said it so often, even decent pack members thought it was my real name. I was so shy and scared as a child that I never bothered to correct them so it had stuck.

I detangled my waist-length dark blonde curls and put them up in a huge bun. Whenever I left them down the triplets would pull my hair ever since we were little. They had not grown out of this habit even in adulthood. I sighed. There were dark circles forming under my large brown eyes. My light brown skin looked sallow. I had been overworking myself or rather the Thorn family had been overworking me. They used to have a maid and a cook with me as the sole assistant of both, but they had fired them last month after numerous conflicts between them and the spoilt triplets. For the past month, I had been drowning in work while attending my final year of high school. I had seven more months of high school before I could leave this place. That was the deal. At eighteen and after high school, I got my freedom and whatever I had paid off by then would be the end of it. The current Alpha and Luna seemed to think they were being extremely generous.

The pack house had a really good heating system so despite the fact that outside looked like the frigid tundra, inside was pretty warm. I put on a long-sleeved white babydoll top that covered my behind as I was wearing just black leggings underneath. I started on breakfast. As it was the Triplets’ “birthday week” and they would soon be Alphas, everyday was a feast day. I made waffles, pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs and sausages. I put the butter and maple syrup on the table. I made coffee. I quickly drank some sweet, milky coffee for some energy and started setting the table.

Luna Ronnie entered the dining room, eyeing me, scrutinising my handy-work. She was a tall woman with dark brown long straight hair, pale skin and green eyes.

“The table looks nice,” she said, a rare compliment. “But have you washed all the wares? Wash them all before you eat!”

Alpha Romeo sauntered in, kissing his Luna gently. He nodded in approval at the breakfast spread. I smiled feebly at him. I heard heavy footsteps on the stairs and I took a deep breath. The Triplet Terrors were coming. They towered over me at six feet and four inches each, exactly a foot taller than me. They resembled their father with their shoulder-length thick shiny black hair, chiseled faces, baby blue eyes, dimples and chin-clefts. As they were Alphas they were all broad-shouldered and muscled blessed with super speed and super strength even beyond what was considered extraordinary for a werewolf. They were perfectly identical and perfectly heinous or at least they were to me. Their deep voices boomed as they shouted excitedly, shoving each other playfully. They would be twenty-one tomorrow but they still acted like they were twelve.

Alex was the eldest and the most serious and severe. He would surely rule with an iron fist and a surly demeanour. Felix as the middle triplet loved being the centre of attention and was naturally filled with wise-cracks, jokes and quips. Classic middle child. The youngest, Calix, was the charmer, a professional sweet-talker and Mommy’s favourite. He almost treated me like I was human.

“Did you make all of this, Charity?” Asked Calix, immediately trying to pull my hair out of its bun. I nodded, dodging him, only to bump into Felix who smirked and slipped my hair tie off. My curls tumbled down all around me. Felix and Calix laughed.

“Stop!” I implored them, reaching for my only hair tie. Felix held it high above my head. He threw it to Alex who caught it and put it in his pocket. I tried to lunge towards Alex but Felix grabbed me. Felix and Alex started shoving me back and forth between them like I was a ball and they were playing catch.

“I give up! I give up!” I said while they snickered.

Calix said, “All right. Cut it out. Let her go wash the wares. Mom wants the place kept as clean as possible so there’ll be less to do tomorrow.”

The elder two relinquished me. I ran into the kitchen. My heart was racing. I started on the dishes. By the time I was done, the family of five hungry werewolves, four of them from Alpha stock, had devoured literally everything I made except for one pancake. The chairs were all empty. I went to get the last pancake but Felix snatched it up. He had zoomed in out of nowhere, fast as a cheetah and quiet as a mouse.

“I haven’t eaten anything,” I told him, my eyes wide.

“Good, you’re fat enough as it is,” he said, sneering. He ate the pancake in two bites.

I sighed. I refused to cry. I had not cried in front of them since the first year of torment when I was nine. My tenth birthday marked a very important vow I had made to myself after crying almost every single day at aged nine. The vow was that I would never let the Triplets make me cry ever again. I would be strong. I had kept that vow successfully for eight years come tomorrow. The comment stung though. The Triplets were widely regarded as the most handsome eligible bachelors in the Pack. They constantly attacked my weight. I was not overweight but I had a curvy hourglass figure. My waist was slender. I wore about a size 4 in clothes which was small enough in my opinion but all the Triplets had stick-thin size 0 girlfriends.

I had to take the bus to school. I had thrown on a man’s black coat over my white top and leggings, another hand-me-down. I managed to find another hair tie but this was truly the last one. The Pack high school was called Winter Moon High after the pack. Our pack colours, and therefore also the school colours, were white, blue and silver. The whole school was decorated with streamers and balloons in celebration of the new Alphas, the Triplets.

“You’re so lucky, Charity,” said Mina Toros, the most popular girl in my senior year. She tossed her long dark hair back and pursed her plump red lips in her locker’s inside mirror. She was wearing a pink skirt short enough to qualify as belt. Thank goodness she had opaque tights on underneath. She usually ignored me except for the occasional pronouncement of how “lucky” I was.

“The things I’d to those Triplets if I lived in that house,” Mina said, licking her lips.

“You’d have to drop out!” Squealed her best friend, the second most popular girl, Tina Gregory. “You’d get pregnant the first month there.”

Tina had flawless dark brown skin with curly hair. She was tall and waif-like and also wore a pink skirt short enough to be a belt with opaque tights. Mina and Tina usually matched as though they were twins. Mina cackled at Tina’s joke.

“You know, Charity,” said Mina suddenly. “You’re not totally hideous.”

Gee, thanks.

“Ok,” I said, clutching my books. The girls were blocking my locker which was sandwiched between their two lockers. Lucky me, indeed.

“Yeah,” agreed Tina. “Your hair is actually pretty. You’re like a biracial Goldie Locks.”

I smiled. That sounded like a real compliment.

“Thanks Tina!” I said.

“Ohhh! And those Triplets are the three bears!” Shrieked Mina. “If I were their Goldie Locks I’d make sure everything was just right, get it?”

“Or too big,” said Tina, giggling.

“That means one of the triplets has to be too small,” I said softly.

Being werewolves, Mina and Tina heard me and they burst out laughing. Wow. I was actually getting along with them for five minutes.

“That was a good one, Charity, surprising,” said Tina, looking at me like she was now seeing me for the first time.

“Yeah,” said Mina giving me the same strange appraising look. “You know, if you had the money, imagine how cute you could look.”

I fidgeted uncomfortably, suddenly hyperaware of the patches in my clothes. Mina and Tina strutted off and I hurriedly opened my locker and got out my Math book. Mr Johnson who coached football and taught Math looked like he should be an Alpha too. He was huge and really attractive for a teacher. He was married though to his mate, the Art teacher, Mrs Johnson. He handed out our graded tests while Tina and Mina made flirty faces at him. Those flirty faces were not doing them any good. I noticed they got an F and an F minus respectively. I did not know F minus existed before today. He smiled at me and winked. My heart skipped a beat. “A plus as usual Math champ,” he boomed. Mr Johnson was one of the few people in my life who was nice to me.

“Mina and Tina, see me after class,” Mr Johnson said.

After class, Ashton Peters, a tall buff redhead who played football and was well-liked in the pack, pretended to knock into my desk.The stack of papers on my desk went flying all over the room. Mr Johnson spotted it.

“Stay and help her pick those up, Aston, my boy,” boomed Mr Johnson.

“Aww, coach, I’ll be late for football practice,” he whined.

“And we’ll be late for cheerleading practice,” said Mina and Tina in unison, pouting.

“I’m the coach, Aston, go ahead and be late. I’ll explain to your cheerleading coach ok, girls,” said Mr Johnson.

Ashton grumbled. He glared at me as if this were my fault. He started picking up papers at werewolf speed which cause the ones I was picking up to fly around due to the displaced wind. I eavesdropped on the meeting with Mina and Tina.

“Mina, Tina, I’m giving you a homework assignment to make up those grades. If you don’t ace it there won’t be any cheerleading,” he said.

The girls gasped. He handed them a stack of papers each and told them they could work on it together and that he set the questions himself so they would not find the answers online. I snatched up the last few papers from the floor and took the stack Ashton was handing me without looking at me.

“Thanks,” I said softly to him.

He glanced down at me, surprised by my thanks. He looked a little guilty all of a sudden. Mr Johnson left the room, leaving Mina and Tina looking dejected. Ashton grabbed the hair tie from my hair just like Calix had this morning. My curls came tumbling down again. I shrieked. I was so fed up. Ashton laughed and ran away to football practice. There went my last hair tie and my birthday was tomorrow.

“Aren’t you going to cheerleading?” I asked the girls, actually feeling sorry for them as they had been sort of nice earlier.

“No,” said Mina.

“What’s the use. We’ll never ace this homework so we’ll fail the class and be banned from the squad anyway,” explained Tina.

I walked up to them and looked at the homework assignment. I snorted. I could get 100% in this in my sleep. I was suddenly struck by an idea.

“Remember how you girls said I had…potential,” I said, looking at them.

They shrugged.

“I’ll do the assignment and you copy it over in your handwritings and ace it ok,” I offered.

The girls squealed. They jumped up hugging each other and me.

“Wait!” Said Mina, raising her eyebrows.

“What’s the catch?” Asked Tina, narrowing her eyes.

“I’m turning eighteen tomorrow too,” I said.

They gasped.

“You have the same birthday as the triplets?” Mina asked.

“Wait that means everyone ignores your birthday like every single year,” said Tina.

It was my turn to shrug.

“And they will this year too but I at least wanna feel…special. I’m gonna shift for the first time at midnight and who knows…I might see my mate at the big party…not that I care…” I rambled.

“You wanna look hot! Is that it?” Mina said smirking.

“Yeah you want us to make you over?” Tina asked, smiling.

I nodded.

Chapter 2: Makeover!

I was supposed to go home immediately after school to help with the preparations for the huge birthday party tomorrow night for the Triplets but I had to do the assignment for the girls and they had to make me over. I knew I would pay for it later but whatever. The Thorns had hired a party planner. They should be okay for a few hours without their werewolf Cinderella.

I did the assignment for the girls literally in the car on the way to the mall. It was that easy. Math was my thing. I was a nerd in general and I was proud of this even though werewolves prized brawn and beauty over brains any day.

The girls were impressed. They quickly copied it over sitting in the freezing car parking lot with the heater turned up. Mina drove a sports car. I did not know what kind but I knew that Mina and Tina were almost as rich as the Alpha and his family. They dragged me into the mall, squealing excitedly as though I was doing them a favour even when it came to the makeover. I reminded them I had no money. They rolled their eyes and ignored me. I guessed I could consider the stuff they bought as part of the deal.

I tried on outfit after outfit. Mina and Tina rated each one and seemed to having a blast. This was actually kind of fun. They encouraged me to pick out a lot of miniskirts and mini dresses. They said I had “great legs” and “nice boobs” even though the Triplets called me fat. Honestly, the clothes they picked for me did look great. I had some trouble walking in heels but the girls made me practice in the store like it was a runway. They pretended to be on a catwalk too. They were so confident. I had to marvel at them. Next they showed me what makeup to wear and how to style my hair at Tina’s house. They did a test run. I looked in Tina’s floor-length mirror and my jaw dropped.

I had on high heeled black ankle boots with a mini pleated black skirt. I was wearing black stockings as it was cold out even for a werewolf. My long-sleeved white top had a sweetheart neckline that was really flattering. My hair was so shiny in loose bouncy curls down my back. My skin glowed and I had cat eyeliner and red lips that surprisingly suited me. I hugged Mina and Tina. Did I just make two friends?

They drove me to the pack house hoping to catch a glimpse of the triplets but they were not at home yet. Thank goodness! I started helping the party planner sort out all the decorations and the food. It was tomorrow night but there was a lot to do. I did my own homework in between all of this. I was a master multitasker. I heard three cars parking. It was the triplets. Alpha and Luna were out shopping for even more gifts despite the fact that I had already wrapped like a dozen gifts. The party planner was a bleached blonde in her thirties who was obsessed with the hunk-i-ness of the triplets. She seemed to dislike me even though I was the only one helping her. She had been over everyday this week and always tried to make me look bad in front of the triplets. I wanted to tell her that they already hated me so she could relax. Her name was Ronda Something. I kept forgetting her last name.

The triplets walked in. Each had their arm around a girl. They had different girlfriends every two months or so. It did not make sense learning the girls’ names. Also, the triplets were anxious to find their real mate. They were not sure if they had three separate mates or just one mate to share. Sounds crazy but when it came to identical multiples like twins and triplets, they usually shared a single mate since they had been one egg and one sperm that split to form the multiples. So theoretically identical twins and triplets were naturally occurring clones. Every girl wished she was their mate. That was so crazy to me. The triplets were handsome but they were awful and three mates sounded so complicated.

Ronda glared at their girlfriends, jealousy evident in her beady eyes. The girls did not stay long and when they left, Ronda told the triplets I had showed up really late to help her. I sighed. I had been under the table literally as I wrapped tiny presents for door prizes. All the pack members got to pick a mystery present from a huge box tomorrow.

I crawled out from under the table to make myself known before they had to look for me. Hiding from them would just set them off. The triplets stared at me, their eyes wide. They looked at each other. I remembered my makeover. I did not think they would notice or even care. Alex licked his lips, trailing his eyes from my head to my toes. I took a step back. Felix looked flabbergasted and Calix smirked at me.

“Leave it to us, Ronda,” said Felix, recovering his usual haughty sneer, “We’ll punish her.”

Ronda smiled maliciously at me. She was the most immature adult I had ever met including the triplets and that was saying something. The triplets had me backed against the kitchen island.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “I had to do some extra math for Mr Johnson.”

It was not a complete lie. The triplets knew Mr Johnson because they were his football stars back when they went to High school. They also knew I had won Math competitions before. They had really enjoyed making fun of me then.

“Ok,” said Felix simply. He took a step towards me. “What’s all of this?” He gestured to my outfit, makeup and hair.

“My eighteenth birthday is tomorrow too. I’m just trying out how I wanna look,” I said, looking down, waiting for them to insult me or call me fat.

“Do you have a boyfriend, is that it?” Asked Alex, anger rising in his voice.

Why did he even care?

“I’m too fat to get a boyfriend, remember?” I said, repeating one of their classic insults.

“Don’t play games with us,” said Felix softly. “Is all of this for your mate? Have you figured out who he is?”

“No!” I said. They were acting so strange like I had done something underhanded.

“You’ll only know for sure tomorrow. Your inner wolf will tell you who your mate is,” said Calix.

“I don’t want a mate,” I said honestly. I had never had a guy be nice to me and I could not picture it happening.

“Why the not?” Alex asked like I was crazy for saying that. The Triplets were eager to find their real mate. They talked about it every birthday. They would visit other packs hoping to get a whiff of their mate. They thought maybe their mate was younger than them. That would explain why they could not pick up her scent. Only mates who had come of age could be discovered.

“Because he’d just be mean to me and call me names and I get enough of that from you,” I snapped. I should not have snapped. I was a little frightened now. The triplets had not hit me since we were little. The last fight happened when I was eleven and they were fourteen. I had punched Calix, breaking his nose for calling me a “fat nasty ” with “dead druggie parents”. My parents whereabouts had never been confirmed and I always liked to think they were alive. After he had let out a blood-curdling scream and told his elder brothers about his nose, Alex slapped me and then Felix slapped me. Calix had been reluctant but they made him hit me. They dragged me out to the frozen river behind the pack house. There was a hole in it for fishing. I was small enough to dip in the hole. They had held me under the water until I blacked out. Their parents had been furious. I went to the hospital for hypothermia. I never knew what their punishments had been but after that we never got physical with each other, nothing more than a shove.

“Are you stupid?” Asked Alex.

I shrugged.

“No werewolf would insult his own mate or be mean to her,” said Felix, rolling his eyes.

“Don’t you know anything?” Added Calix.

“Ok, thanks, I get it now,” I said simply.

“You dressed up for us, didn’t you?” Said Felix smirking and rubbing his chin. The other two grinned. My heart leapt a little at the sight of their dimples. I shook my head. What was wrong with me? The triplets were monsters and good looks did not absolve them of that.

“Don’t make her admit it,” said Calix. “She’s embarrassed, Felix.”

“Admit it! You did this for us!” Felix exclaimed, grinning wickedly. He kept coming closer and my back was pressed against the kitchen island now.

Alex was quiet, smiling faintly and watching me closely. I just wanted them to go away. I was so frustrated with my whole life. There would not be a single present for me tomorrow. No one had counselled me about my shift at midnight and I was scared. I knew it would be painful and I did not need this from these three privileged assh0les who did not deserve the title of Alpha. They were physically Alphas but they had no integrity. They could not lead this pack. What a joke! I decided to play along.

“Yeah, ok,” I said softly, looking down to feign embarrassment and hugging myself tightly. “I dressed up for you. I asked two girls at school to help me. I really did have a math thing but I went to get dolled up after so that made me late as well. I’m sorry.”

I hid my face in my hands, stifling my laughter. They seemed to think I was crying.

“Hey, you know, we aren’t the stupid little boys we used to be when we would fight with you,” said Alex gently. “We’re taking over this pack tomorrow and as you’re part of this pack we just wanna know what’s going on with you that’s all.”

Huh?

“Don’t cry, stupid,” said Felix exasperadteay.

“Don’t insult her when you’re trying to cheer her up, stupid,” said Calix, turning on Felix. “Chasity,” said Calix, using my real name for the first time in nine years.

I dropped my hands. I was shocked. I just stared at him.

“You look pretty, ok” said Calix, winking.

My heart skipped a beat. He was bending down. His face was really close to me.

“Thanks for dressing up for us. I hope you wear an even shorter skirt tomorrow,” he said softly, smirking.

I rolled my eyes. Alex and Felix burst into laughter. I tried to brush past them but Felix grabbed my arms and put my back against the island again. My breath hitched in my throat.

“Did I say you could leave?” He asked, his nose brushing against my nose as he bent towards me. I squirmed in his arms.

“You need to have respect for your Alphas, Charity,” Alex said, using my awful nickname. The spell that Calix had cast on me was broken.

“Shoot you!” I screamed. “Let me go! Three Alpha males against one omega female is insane. You have no honour,” I cried, struggling against Felix. He released me.

“We were just playing with you Charity!” Said Felix “Good grief! Go! Run upstairs!”

I ran upstairs and to my room. I locked the door. I sat on my cot, hugging my knees to my chest. The Alpha and Luna came knocking on my door when darkness fell. I went out to them.

“We almost forgot, you have your first shift at midnight, same birthday as the triplets,” said Alpha Romeo rubbing the back of his neck.

I smiled. Were they going to counsel me or give me a gift?

“Yeah, so make sure and be out of the house at least by 11:45pm so you don’t break anything or make any mess when you shift,” said Luna Ronnie.

I nodded. I supposed that was one piece of advice. I left the house at half past eleven wearing my old clothes. I crunched through the snow. It was pitch-black. I sighed. I was nervous. I was scared of the pain. I wished my parents could be here. For the first nine years old my life, they had been in and out of rehabs. They were inconsistent but they actually seemed to love me a lot. They would always make my birthdays and holidays special no matter how high they were. They were deeply in love with each other as mates and back then I almost looked forward to having a mate of my own. It was almost midnight. I did not want to rip my clothes so I removed them and stood in the snow naked and barefoot my curls covering me to my waist. If I had not been a werewolf I would have frozen to death.

Midnight came and I felt my bones breaking.

Chapter 3: Shift and Sniff and Squirt

The pain shot through me. It was excruciating. I screamed. My bones lengthened and rearranged themselves. Sandy-coloured fur enveloped my form. My eyesight and hearing became so sharp. I stood on all fours. I howled. I was a wolf. I ran through the night, white snow beneath me and black sky above me. I practically flew. When I had tired of running. I made my way back to my clothes. They would probably so cold after lying in the snow. I focused on what I looked like human and my bones started breaking again. It was painful but not nearly as bad as the first time. I put on my clothes and headed inside. The triplets had gone out to ring in the first few minutes of their twenty-first birthday with some of their friends at a bar.

I passed by their rooms. The house had three floors. The Alpha and Luna slept on the top floor. The Triplets and I slept on the middle floor. I had a tiny converted storage room and each triplet had a master bedroom and bathroom. There was the most delicious smell coming from Calix’s room. I snuck in. He was the least scary of the triplets so I did not mind if he caught my scent when he came home and realised I had been in his home. His room literally smelled like freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. I looked around. Maybe he had pot cookies or something. I did not find anything. Ugh. I had put my scent all over some of his stuff for nothing.

I walked out and caught another scrumptious scent. This one was coming from the middle master bedroom that belonged to Felix. I dared not go in there but I sniffed the doorway. The smell reminded me of sweet coconut shavings. There was a tropical edge to it. I breathed it in, wondering why I had never picked it up before. My heart started to race. I was afraid to go near Alex’s room but I had to know. If all three rooms suddenly smelled great to me then…

I refused to think about it. I walked over to Alex’s door. I picked up the scent. The strong smell of coffee and cocoa hit me. My mouth watered a little. Did Alex smell that good? The window blew open suddenly and all three scents wafted down the hallway. Their combined scents hit me and moisture pooled in my underwear. I was in big trouble. I went to my tiny room and locked the door. I tried to fall asleep but I kept tossing and turning. Those scents were plaguing me. Would they smell me when they returned home? Would I suddenly smell different now to them? I did not want to analyse it too much. Maybe my enhanced sense of smell was just picking up a lot that I had not noticed before. Maybe everyone smelled this good.

Third Person

Calix, Felix and Alex sauntered in the house at around three in the morning. It was Saturday. Later tonight, they had their official birthday party and alpha ceremony. Celebrating with their girlfriends and their “bros” from the town had left them exhausted and a little tipsy. It was difficult for werewolves to get drunk no matter how much alcohol they had but the triplets had really done their best. They said good night and happy birthday to each other and parted ways.

Calix stumbled into his room. A familiar scent greeted him but there was some unmistakable new element to it like a new ingredient enhancing an old favourite recipe of his. Someone had been in his room. A girl. She smelled like roses and honeysuckle. He shivered. That scent was driving him crazy. He could not sleep. It was all over everything. He felt as if he recognised the smell but he could not say exactly who it was. Surely he would have noticed and remembered someone who smelled this good.

He could not take it anymore when the sun came up. He banged on his brothers’ doors. They greeted him still half-asleep.

“What’s wrong, little bro?” Asked Alex, concern evident on his face.

“It better be good. It’s six o’ clock in the morning. We partied last night and we’re partying tonight,” said Felix, doing a little dance and yawning.

“Smell my room,” said Calix.

His brothers laughed. He walked away from them. They followed him.

“Enough !” Said Felix storming into Calix’s room. Felix stopped in his tracks. Alex entered and his eyes widened.

“Oh my God,” said Felix. “What is that?” The Alpha started sniffing about his brother’s room.

“Little Bro, who was in your room?” Asked Alex sharply.

“You’ve been with our mate!” Said Felix, growling. “You’re keeping her all to yourself.”

“No, I don’t know whose scent it is and it’s driving me crazy,” said Calix with tired eyes.

“Our mate’s been in this room,” said Felix gleefully. “She found us! Oh I can’t wait to get my hands on her.” Felix growled again.

“What about Sandra, Tonya and Avery?” Asked Calix, mentioning their current girlfriends.

“We’ve only been dating them like a couple weeks! They know they’re not our mates so it was a temporary thing! I’m gonna end it with Tonya over the phone,” said Felix dismissively.

“Yeah,” agreed Alex. “If we can find our mate in time for the party we don’t want the girls showing up and harassing her.”

“Yeah, they’d be jealous,” said Calix. “And there’s one of her and three of them so we better tell them before tonight.”

The brothers were in agreement, all sitting on Calix’s bed.

“Who would be in my room?” Calix wondered.

“There’s something familiar about the smell,” said Alex, smiling. “It kinda smells a little like…” Alex paused, frowning. He got up and ran down the hallway. He stood in front of the door to Chasity’s little makeshift room. The same smell hit him. It made him shiver. Honeysuckle and Roses. He sighed. He found her door unlocked and opened it eagerly to reveal an empty room with the cot in the corner made. His face fell.

It suddenly dawned on him just how small Chasity’s room was compared to the other bedrooms in the house. There were empty guest bedrooms bigger than this room. Why didn’t his parents give her one of those?

His brothers came up behind him. Felix looked dumbfounded. Calix walked into Chasity’s room and lay in her cot, hugging her pillow, deeply inhaling her scent.

“I’m gonna wait for her to come back, right here,” he said, curling up on her tiny cot. It was comically small for the six-foot-four Alpha.

“I wanna go get her right now,” said Felix, his eyes worried. “We have a lot of talking to do.”

“Relax, Felix,” said Alex. “Our mate already lives with us so we’re good,” said the eldest Alpha grinning.

“No, we’re not good you idiots!” Said Felix staring at them. “Our mate is Charity. Charity!”

“Don’t call her that!” Snarled Calix, his blue eyes turning black.

“Sorry! Sorry! Shit! It’s a bad habit. Chasity,” Felix said. Her real name felt good to say out loud.

“What’s your problem?” Asked Alex. He was looking through Chasity’s things, thinking of all the stuff he was going to buy her. She hardly had anything so she would be easy to surprise. It was her birthday too after all.

“We have to go to the mall as soon as it opens at ten,” he told his younger brothers. “It’s Chasity’s birthday too and I’m sure Mom and Dad didn’t get her anything.”

“Are you hearing yourself?” Asked Felix.

“Again! What is your problem?” Alex asked Felix. Calix opened his eyes to glare at Felix.

“Chasity is our mate! We had no idea because she was not of age until today!” Felix said, waving his arms around like a mad man.

Calix and Alex were not following.

“We’ve treated Chasity like shit! When she realises she’s our mate, she’s going to reject us!” Said Felix.

Calix shot up into a sitting position. “No, she’s not,” the youngest said. “No, she can’t. We’ve been waiting three years for our mate.”

“Chasity said she didn’t want a mate, remember?” Said Felix, spelling it out for them.

“Yeah,” said Alex. “But when the mate bond actually hits her, she’ll be putty in our hands.”

Calix beamed, grinning at Alex. “Yep,” Calix agreed.

Felix rolled his eyes. “Do you remember why Chasity did not want a mate? She said because he’d be mean to her like we were. Her mate is literally us.”

Calix and Alex were starting to look worried.

“She’s going to freak out!” Said Felix. “She’s going to try to leave. Remember, she’s been talking about turning eighteen, finishing high school and leaving!”

Alex smirked. “She has seven more months of high school. It’s November. We have until June or July with her to convince her otherwise.”

Felix calmed down a little, thinking it over.

Calix grinned wickedly, his dimples showing, mischief in his baby blue eyes, “Chasity might hate us now but by next summer we’ll be making her squirt.”

His elder brothers burst into laughter.

Chapter 4: Dangerously Cute

Chasity’s POV

I had to wake up at the crack of dawn as usual on the day of the party despite going to bed after midnight. I was so tired. I passed as far away from the Triplet’s rooms as I could so I would not have to smell those delicious scents. I had to keep away from them. I could not bear to look them in the eyes if just their smell was driving me wild now that I was eighteen. How could fate be so cruel? I wondered if they would be horrible abusive mates. I would not let it reach to that. I had never even had one boyfriend, now I had three mates. What would I be expected to do? How would I handle that? I felt overwhelmed just thinking about it. There was a heat in the lower part of my tummy when I thought about all three of them and me. They were all so big and with three of them I would not even know who was doing what to me. I bit my lip. I was getting hot again. I quickly pushed those dirty thoughts away.

Maybe they will reject me outright? I thought.

My heart threatened to cleave in two or maybe three when I thought about that. My inner wolf whimpered. I hushed her soothingly. My wolf kept pushing thoughts of the triplets into my mind as I worked on all the last minute party details. Felix would be the roughest. Calix would be the gentlest. I was not sure what Alex would be like. He would probably boss me around, telling me to have respect for him as his mate and Luna. A chill crept through me. Luna. The current Luna hated me. She would not want me as her successor. I did not think the current Alpha would care much. Around half past five in the morning, Ronda, the party planner showed up to help.

“Where are the birthday boys?” She said excitedly. I rolled my eyes. My inner wolf growled. She was possessive. I looked at Ronda’s micro mini skirt and tiny tube top. I was surprised she did not freeze to death on the way here. She was holding three identical baby blue gift bags.

“They’re asleep,” I said, frowning. “They usually don’t wake up until noon on weekends,”

“Oh,” she said. She looked crestfallen. She put a coat over her tiny outfit, probably to unveil it at noon. Around six o’clock, I heard heavy steps. It couldn’t be! The Triplets woke up early! I ran out of the house without thinking. I shifted. Ronda ran out after me, her eyes wide with shock. I went bounding through the snow. I had ripped my clothes shifting suddenly like that. I needed to clear my head and stay clear of the Triplets until I decided what to do.

Third Person

“This is stupid!” Said Calix. “I need my mate, right now. I want Chasity!”

He stormed out of her room and down the stairs with his brothers on his heels. He was surprised to find Ronda in the kitchen.

“Where’s Chasity?” Asked Calix, still sleep-deprived and grumpy.

“Hey, sleepy head! Good morning!” Cooed Ronda.

“Have you seen Chasity, Ronda?” Asked Alex.

“I have presents for the birthday boys!” She squealed.

“Is she here?” Felix asked, getting annoyed.

“Who?” Asked Ronda, handing each triplet a gift bag.

“Thanks, Ronda!” Said Alex. “Chasity! Where is she?”

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