#baby’s gotta primp

[bonecarversbestie]

Can’t sleep bc I keep thinking about Elain and Lucien being late to everything bc Lucien was in the bathroom making sure his hair and outfit look perfect.

[yoongiseesawmp3]

ceilings - san

summary: pe teacher!san x single mom!reader. your kid is finally ready to go to school, and you're spiraling. thankfully, you find friendship with your kid's teacher and she becomes determined to become your best friend. simultaneously, she tries to set you up with the cute pe teacher, but you know him from somewhere deep within your past. can the truth come out without jeopardizing your future?

word count: 12.4k

warnings: afab reader so gendered terms, mentions of accidental pregnancy

masterlist / part two

"violet, come on, we're gonna be late!" you shout to your daughter. it's her first day of kindergarten, her first day of real school, and you're so close to tears. you want to cry because your baby is growing up, because you won't get to cart your little mini me around with you everywhere now, because you're so stressed about getting her to school on time. it's been a rough morning, and your daughter taking her sweet time is not helping.

"i'm almost ready!" she shouts back from the bathroom, and you suppress a groan. what does a five year old have to primp for?

"one more minute and i'm dragging you to the car!" you threaten lightheartedly, knowing she'll only take it to mean she has a minute before you go and help her.

"i'm done," she says proudly as she appears in the doorway to the kitchen. hands on her hips she asks, "how do i look?"

"ridiculous," you laugh. "is that my shirt?"

"and my belt!" she defends herself. "i thought it was cute."

"it is cute, baby, but maybe you should wear something more comfortable for the first day?" you offer. you shuffle over to the laundry basket you left on the stairs and dig around for an outfit, handing your stubborn daughter some jeans and a sweater. "just wear something comfy today, and later this week you can dress silly."

"i wasn't dressed silly, i was dressed like you," violet mumbles, and you roll your eyes. your daughter definitely got your sass, and your stubbornness, but the resemblance kind of stops there. she's a spitting image of her father, a constant reminder of the mistake you made when you were younger. but it wasn't really a mistake, was it? if it brought you the one thing that's made you happier than anything before, it wasn't a mistake at all. violet was the best thing that ever happened to you, and again, the waterworks threaten to fall as you think about dropping her off for her first day of school. a day, you realize, you're late for.

"c'mon sugar, we gotta go!" you shout, grabbing her hello kitty backpack. "i've got your stuff, meet me in the car!"

-

you work close enough to violet's school that you can be one of those annoying carpool parents swarming the school grounds every day. while violet may hate it, you're so excited for all the memories that will come from these trips to and from school each day. like today, you'll always remember how violet started crying a few minutes down the road, claiming she didn't want to go to school because she didn't want to eat school lunch.

"it's not that bad, vi." you tell her as you peek at her through the rearview. "i remember loving some days of school lunch so much i would always go, even if i was sick."

"but you only liked some days," she sniffed. "what if i don't like any of the days?"

"then i'll pack you a lunch," you assure her. "just try it this week, every day, because some days will be better than others. then if you don't like any of it i'll start making your lunch. how does that sound?"

"okay," she nods, her sad little sniffles clearing up. "thank you mommy."

"we're almost there," you say quietly, more to yourself than to your daughter. "are you excited, sugar?"

"kinda," she admits. "i'm excited to see miss jen!"

"she's gonna be a great teacher," you agree. "you're gonna learn so much, and you're gonna have so much fun with her and all the friends you're gonna make. right?"

violet nods again, and you're satisfied for now. you're sure your baby is alright to go off to school for the first time, at least for the time being. surely there will be another thing to freak about later in the day, but for now you need to worry about navigating this carpool line. a man in workout clothes with a haggard looking traffic vest is directing traffic, and while you pass him, you feel your heart skip a beat.

it can't be him, right? there's no way he works here. it can't be. you keep driving, following the cones until you pull up to the sidewalk and a very kind looking teacher approaches your car with a soft smile.

"good morning!" he chirps. "i'm mr. kang, the librarian," he says as he stoops to peer through your window. his gaze goes to the backseat, asking violet, "are you ready for the best day ever?"

she nods shyly, and you watch as she undoes her car seat and slides out of the car with her too big book bag engulfing her frame as she walks away. you shout her name and she turns, a nervous look on her face.

"have a great day, my love!" you blow her a kiss for good measure, and you carry the way she smiles proudly with you for the rest of the day. the man in the traffic vest is all but forgotten, but he watches from afar in confusion. was he seeing things, or were you really here dropping off a kid? a kid, in fact, who looked exactly like he did at that age. weird, he thinks, but he shakes it off and continues directing traffic, wondering how he could find a way to introduce himself over the next few days.

-

when you were younger, your parents always supported you academically, but they were never involved with the school itself. pta meetings were not their thing, and it was a struggle getting them to take off work for a parent/teacher conference. you had decided early on that you would be one of those involved parents, one that knew your kid's teacher well and participated in room mom activities. you were texting violet's teacher last night, actually, asking if there was anything you could bring to help celebrate the first week, and she was eager to have the help.

she'd asked you to bring lollipops, so on thursday afternoon you're searching for a parking spot before school lets out. you were going to drop the goodies off at violet's classroom and help jen with the goody bags during dismissal, quick and easy. except, an intimidating figure walking toward your car may not make this process as easy as you'd have hoped.

san saw your car pull up and immediately stepped out into the parking lot. as the unofficial carpool guardian, one of his daily jobs is stopping parents who try to cheat the system by taking up faculty spots so they can be first in line. san didn't know it was you or he would've approached with a different demeanor, but today was rough. he had at least two criers per class and one kid who ran so hard after lunch he puked outside san's office. he wasn't in the mood to deal with a privileged parent, so he lets out a deep sigh as he approaches your now open window.

"ma'am you can't park here-" he starts, but as soon as his eyes meet yours he chokes on his words. "y/n?"

"hi san," you smile shyly, heartbeat racing. "so i can't park here? there weren't any guest spots out front, and i need to take something to vi's class-"

"vi?" san questions, and you let out a deep sigh of your own.

"violet," you tell him. "my..my daughter."

"i thought that was you the other day," san admits, and you nod in confirmation. "well, um, if you're just coming to drop something off, you're all good, you can leave your car-"

"oh really? i can move, it's no problem-"

"no, no, don't worry about it-"

"are you sure?" you ask, finally stopping the awkward back and forth. "you won't tattle?"

"pinky promise," san laughs, holding your door for your as you get out. "but i'd sneak out before carpool starts up if i were you, it'll be hard to pull out once the lot fills up."

"got it," you nod graciously, slipping your hand into the backseat to grab the bag of candy. san is still standing there, so you clear your throat and try to leave. "well, thanks for letting me-"

"no worries-"

"it was good seeing you-"

"yeah, yeah..." san trails off. once you're a few feet away he calls your name. you turn to see what he needs, and he thinks about it before shrugging. "never mind," he says. "it was nice to see you."

"bye san," you manage to get out before you turn the corner, hands sweaty and heart doing funny flips in your chest.

you hadn't told violet about your visit, so when jen lets you into the room you hear an excited squeal followed by a pair of small arms wrapped around your legs. violet looks up at you proudly, a spot of something on her cheek. you forget sometimes, just how much she looks like san, but your exchange outside has him fresh on the brain. she has his smile. you shake the thoughts from your head and try to take a step, but violet won't budge.

"hey sugar," you laugh, ruffling her hair with your free hand. "go back to your seat, school's not over yet."

"but-"

"violet, do you want to show your mom where to put the bags she brought?" jen offers, and you send her a thankful look. violet tugs on your hand, bringing you over to the "treasure box" which is really just a filing cabinet jen must have filled with candy and toys. violet shows you each drawer, and you make her look away as you place the candy in it's appropriate drawer so it won't ruin the surprise for now. satisfied with her work, violet goes back to her seat as the bell rings for dismissal. you organize some of the other things you brought on jen's desk as she goes over reminders for the class, and then the first few rounds of students start leaving.

"thanks for bringing all this," jen says as she joins you.

"do you need help putting them together?" you ask, and she thinks for a moment.

"no, i don't want to keep you," she starts.

"well, i think i'm stuck for a while anyway," you inform her. "i had to park in a faculty spot, and carpool-"

"oh yeah, you're definitely stuck," jen laughs. "let me get everything set up, and then you can start while i help the rest of the kids leave, if you don't mind?"

"not at all!" you assure her, looking out to find violet watching you both like a hawk. "do you think we'll need another set of hands though?" jen follows your gaze and laughs before waving violet over. the three of you get everything set up, and you ask violet about her day as jen organizes the next group of kids for bus call.

"it was good!" violet says happily. "i liked lunch today."

"what did they have?"

"chicken sammiches," she says, and you laugh.

"sandwiches, baby," you tell her. "sammiches is a me and you word, but some people may not know what that means."

"i like chicken sandwiches and chicken sammiches," she nods. "and then we had pe and a boy in my class threw up. he had pizza."

"gross," you crinkle your nose. "you liked pe though?"

"yeah, it was fun!" violet goes off on a tangent about all the games, and jen rejoins you to help finish the bags. the three of you fall into comfortable conversation with violet as the life of the party. you like jen, you find yourself thinking. you hope it's not weird to be friends with your kid's teacher, because you could really use one here. you're lost in that thought, so you don't notice when someone appears in the doorway.

"mr. choi!" violet chirps, abandoning her task and rushing to meet him. never met a stranger, your child, because she's tugging his hand and bringing him over to you. "this is mommy."

"that's not her name though, is it violet?" jen asks, ever the teacher.

"y/n," san nods, and you don't miss the way jen looks from you to san to violet and back again. "did you get tricked into staying late?"

"no, i offered," you reply. "but i didn't have a choice, i didn't listen to your advice and couldn't leave before carpool started."

"you're all good now," he says, holding up his reflective vest all crumpled in his big hand. "just sent the last kid home."

"good to know," you nod. "vi, where's your stuff? we'll leave soon."

"no!" she whines. "i don't wanna leave!"

"don't you want a snack though?" you tempt her, and that sends the mini menace into motion.

"to what do i owe the pleasure of you stinking up my classroom, choi?" jen asks.

"i wanted to talk to you about the kid that threw up today," he says, and you must look at him confused because he asks you if anything's wrong.

"are you the pe teacher here?"

"yep," he answers. "i didn't know this was your violet," he says, nodding his head toward your kid. "she's a sweetheart. ball of energy too."

"you're telling me," you smile softly. violet walks over then, informing you that she's ready to go. you ask jen if there's anything else you can do, but she insists on you taking violet home.

"you've helped enough, believe me," jen tells you. "i'll see you tomorrow violet!"

"bye miss jen!" violet says with a smile. "bye mr. choi! i hope no one pukes on you tomorrow!"

jen waits for you and your kid to be far enough down the hall before she asks calmly. "so. how do you know y/n?"

"we, uh, we go way back," san says. "went to school together, college, all that."

"oh, so you like, really know her," jen says, a plan brewing in her head. she saw the way san looked at you. she also knows you're single. "you didn't know her kid went here?"

"didn't know she had a kid at all," san shakes his head, and he seems to get lost in a thought before he remembers what he came here for. "anyway, this kid today, you gotta tell him not to eat so much before pe..."

-

you and san didn't grow up together, exactly, but you have known him since high school. you floated around similar groups of friends, so you hung out regularly without ever getting too close. it wasn't until college that you actually became friends. you both went to a local school, at least as local as you can get for your small town. living in a city all by yourself was intimidating, but you weren't worried about not making friends. you knew they would come.

the day of your orientation, san saw you sitting by yourself in the auditorium and immediately recognized you. he brushed off his sweaty hands before walking over and softly calling your name. when you registered who he was, you smiled and invited him to sit next to you. both happy to see a familiar face, you spent the rest of orientation attached at the hip. in fact, you spent the rest of your time at school like that. san was your best friend, nothing more. he didn't always feel that way, but he did a good job of hiding his feelings. he was able to hide how he felt about you all the way up to the final semester of your senior year.

you were thriving, one of those seniors itching to finish school and get out into the real world. you knew you were just months away from a successful career, and you wouldn't let anything get in your way. you liked that you didn't know what was coming next or where you would end up after graduation. the prospect of moving to a new city, hell, maybe a new country, was exciting. this restlessness is what made san speak up. he was ready to graduate too, sure, but he was ready to get out of the city. san always wanted to be a teacher, and he already had offers all across the state, but the only job he cared about was in his hometown. it's where he wanted to be, and he knew that if he didn't tell you how he felt now, he may never get the chance. he wanted you to know so he could at least have a chance with you, even for a little while.

so he confessed, one night early in the semester. he was walking you home, his dorm only a few doors down from yours. at the door to your dorm he pulled you into a hug, which was normal for him. san was always a touchy friend, but what he said as he pulled away still bounces around in your head.

"y/n, i think i'm in love with you," he said earnestly. you looked in his eyes, trying to find the beginnings of a smile, some hint of a secret, that this was a joke. but he was serious. when you didn't say anything he shrugged, stepped away, and added, "i just wanted you to know."

you still don't know if it was shock or fear that kept you from saying anything that night, from calling his name and pulling him back in. but you didn't say anything then, you didn't say anything for months. san pretended like it never happened, and you just went along.

it didn't come up again until the going away party at the end of the year. school was over, finals done, and graduation was days away. everyone wanted to celebrate the past four years and freak out over what was next, all sharing where they were going and how scared they were. san was moving back home to be a teacher and wasn't scared at all. you were leaving for a bigger and better city the day after graduation and you were terrified.

later, san pulled you to the side and asked if you were ok. you knew he was referring to the job stuff, but you had other things on your mind. you were a little tipsy, so you decide that's why you leaned in and kissed him. it was quick, soft, barely a kiss, but you did it. you kissed him and pulled back faster than san could think, his eyes still closed when you parted and said, "i just wanted to know what it would feel like."

you were able to avoid him for the rest of the party, enjoying your last few hours with some of your best friends. you had an early morning, so you stopped drinking before everyone else and found yourself as a designated walker at the end of the night. you and san were elected to walk a few friends back to their dorms, dropping them off as you passed each building on your own walk home. inevitably, you were left alone with san at your door like that night months ago. san looked like he wanted to say something, and you didn't want him to leave, so instead of separating at the door you invited him in.

you'll never forget that night, and neither will san. but with your paths parting in a few days, you thought it would be something you could move on from eventually. a few weeks later, in your new city, at the perfect job, you found out you were pregnant. it hurt, the decision to not tell san, but the thought of stopping your life before it even started hurt more. you figured you would never see san again, or that you could at least keep the kid a secret if you ever hung out with your college friends again. you never thought that you'd somehow end up moving your daughter to the neighborhood where san grew up, or that the great school you fought to enroll her in could possibly be where san currently worked. but that's life, isn't it? or fate. or maybe just dumb luck. whatever it was, the universe was trying to get you to tell the truth and you're not sure you're ready to do that. to yourself, to violet, or to san.

-

san can't stop thinking about you. he tries so hard to catch a glimpse of you during carpool, but he's too busy focusing on a million other things and never manages to find you. he tries to think about how he could use violet to talk to you, like sending a note home with her, but that's inappropriate. he needs to see you again, though. that's when he gets an idea.

you and jen have become genuine friends, which has made things confusing for violet only because she treats jen like her teacher in casual settings. you met up for dinner the other night and violet raised her hand to ask jen a question, so hopefully she'll get used to it. san knows you two are close, and he knows if he asks jen about you she'll tell him whatever he wants to know.

at lunch one day he finds jen in the teacher's lounge and motions to the empty seat at her table. she lets him sit, but warns, "wooyoung saved the other seats for himself, so leave now if you want to."

wooyoung, one of the third grade teachers, was actually one of san's best friends. he's a hand full, yes, but fiercely loyal and caring. san doesn't necessarily want him to hear the conversation he wanted to have with jen, but oh well. as soon as san has that thought, wooyoung is bursting through the door with a stack of plastic containers from the lunchroom in his arms.

"m'lady," he nods to jen as he passes her a container. he looks to san and asks, "you want one bro?"

"what's in it?" san asks skeptically, and wooyoung shows off a stack of chicken sandwiches. "seriously?"

"hey, they're really good," jen pipes up. "the kids are lucky they get to eat these."

"how did you get so many?" san asks wooyoung as he takes a sandwich anyway.

"flirted with the lunch ladies."

"course you did," jen rolls her eyes, taking a bite of the sandwich. she chuckles to herself, and then shares, "you know, there's a kid in my class who calls these sammiches? no matter how many times you correct her, she won't say anything else. she told me this morning she didn't want to come to school, but she did because it was sammich day."

that's violet. san knows it is. he heard a snippet of your conversation in jen's classroom weeks ago, but he also knows he's heard violet say something similar when she comes to the gym. she loves those sandwiches, and san must admit, now that he's tried one he gets the hype. this is his shot though, he thinks to himself. he clears his throat and asks, "that's y/n's girl right?"

"who's y/n?" wooyoung asks, and jen responds, "san's girlfriend."

"no she's not," san says quickly. "she's kidding."

"you like her though?" wooyoung smirks, and san shakes his head.

"i-it's not like that," san explains. "i knew her a long time ago, and haven't seen her for a few years. that's all."

"so what about her?" jen asks.

"what do you mean?"

"well you brought her up," jen laughs. "you want me to tell her you asked about her? that feels very elementary of you, san."

"no, no, i was just, uh," san racks his brain for a response, "um, she's your room mom right? i may need to talk to her, for um, uh, field day."

"sure," jen nods. "i can give you her number, if you don't have it?"

"yeah, yeah," san nods too, "sure, if you think that'll be ok. i mean, i just needed to ask something, really quick, but, um, sure, yeah."

"if you really need to talk to her, she's coming in tomorrow i think," jen says, checking her phone. "yeah, tomorrow is violet's birthday, so y/n is bringing cupcakes at lunch. you can just stop by my class table and ask her whatever you need to ask her."

"oh, cool, great," san nods. wooyoung and jen share a quiet laugh, noticing that san seems like a bobblehead nodding so nervously. "yeah, tomorrow. lunch tomorrow. i'll be here."

-

you're running late. it's your kid's frickin birthday and you're late. you wanted to be supermom, make cupcakes from scratch, but work has been crazy on top of all the prep for violet's party, and you're just one woman. you can't do all of this by yourself, and it's times like these that you wish...no. that's not where you're going to let your mind wander today. today is all about violet, so as you rush out of the grocery store, you handle the store bought cupcakes with intense care. you can't be late and show up with smushed cupcakes.

thankfully this town is small enough that everything is within spitting distance, so you arrive at violet's school with just a few minutes left in her lunch. you hurry through the check in, rushing off to where you hope the lunchroom is. it would be just your luck to get lost right now, but you let out a breath of relief when you turn the corner and see the cafeteria ahead. you have to pause at the door to look for her class, and you hold back a sob when you see one very broad shouldered man sitting next to your beautiful daughter. you manage to walk up without violet seeing you, but at the sound of your footsteps, san turns. he smiles at you softly and he looks so much like violet it hurts. your eyes drift to your daughter, who's noticed you now and bounces in her seat.

"hey birthday girl," you say meekly, clearing your throat before you speak again. "how's your day been?"

"good!" violet smiles, showing you a half eaten vanilla cupcake with purple icing. "mr. choi brought me birthday cake!"

"aw, that's sweet," you say, looking to san. he's staring at you intensely as you ask, "did you tell him thank you?"

"i did!" violet confirms, but she turns to san and repeats, "thank you, it was yummy."

"do you have room for another?" you ask her, holding up the cupcakes you brought. violet already looks ready to bounce off the walls, so you'll have to apologize to jen later, but you ask if she wants to help pass out cupcakes to her friends. you hold the containers as she carefully hands out the treats, and you're pleased to know there were plenty of cupcakes for everyone. actually, there's some left over, so you start packing them up to take home but violet stops you.

"mommy, we need to give mr. choi one," she tells you, and you look to san sheepishly. "and there's one for you too, mommy!"

"i guess we're having cupcakes," you chuckle with san, offering him one of the last two cupcakes. "vi, can i take your spot?" she nods eagerly, letting you sit on the hilariously tiny lunch chair. you struggle balancing on it and look up to see san watching, trying not to laugh. violet is oblivious though, icing smeared all over her face as she talks to her friend across the table. "hey, no laughing. it's been a long day."

"sorry," san says, the remnants of a smile still on his face. "you doing alright?"

"i'm fine," you sigh slightly. you look at san again, really look at him, and you feel your heart constrict. "thank you for bringing her a cupcake."

"oh, sure," san says. "i didn't want to overstep, but jen told me yesterday, and i figured violet could at least take it home, but when i got here and didn't see, uh...you weren't here-"

"you can say it, i was late to my own kid's birthday," you laugh, rubbing your hand over your face. san finds himself staring at your fingers and something pops into his head.

"and again i ask, you doing alright?" he laughs with you. "being a parent must be hard."

"it has its bad days," you admit. "but for every bad day there's hundreds of good ones, so it makes the whole single parenting thing a little easier."

there it is. single. san looks down to your hands again, and has to hide his satisfied smirk. there's no ring.

"so, what-" san starts to ask, but the bell dings and the cafeteria erupts in even more sound. students talking, teachers yelling, chairs scraping as everyone is set in motion. jen walks over then, smiling when she sees you and san sat so close together. she waves hello before calling for her class, and you give violet a big squeezey hug and a kiss on the forehead before she takes her food and runs off. san watches you watching violet, and now it's his turn for his heart to twist. he's missed you. a lot.

"i guess i better go," you say as you gather all of the cupcake trash. san covers his hands over yours, stilling your movements and your heart, and says, "let me, i'll clean up."

"th-thank you san," you say shyly, and he waves you off. he can feel your eyes on him as he walks to the trash cans, and he can't help it, when he turns around he pulls a face that used to always make you laugh. his success rate is still high, because a beautiful giggle appears from deep within your chest, and then san is standing back in front of you. you know him, and you know there's something he wants to say, so you ask, "are you doing alright?"

"i'm fine," he nods, and you playfully push his shoulder. he smiles as he goes on, "actually, i was thinking about it, and i'll need your new number. for field day purposes, of course."

"oh," you breathe. "oh, right. room mom stuff. um, well unless you deleted my contact info, my number is the same."

"oh."

"yeah."

"right, then i guess i'm good," san says, looking around for any last bits of trash. "always good seeing you, y/n. tell violet happy birthday again from me."

"will do," you squeak out, calling out your thanks to him one last time as he walks away. you're left in the now silent lunchroom, heart and mind racing.

-

"i'm just saying, you and san would make a cute couple," jen repeats for what feels like the millionth time today. she's come over to your house early to help set up violet's birthday party, and you're thankful for the help but wishing the set up was less obvious. "you already know each other, so it's not like you'd have to go through that awkward dating phase-"

"did we put balloons on the mailbox already?" you cut through her words, grabbing a couple pink and purple balloons from the pile on the table. "i'll do that now, so people know which house it is. if vi wakes up, tell her i'll make birthday pancakes as soon as i'm done."

"will do," jen salutes you, taking the remaining balloons into the living room. "i'll tack these to the ceiling or something."

"please don't!" you call out before you shut the door, and you take a deep breath when you're outside alone. you don't know how to make jen stop talking about san, and it's draining. you've tried changing the subject and she always finds a way to bring san back into it. she means well, you know that. but what she doesn't know is that everything she says about san just rubs salt in the wound you inflicted on yourself, and it's getting harder to ignore. you're either going to snap and tell her to shut up, or you're going to snap and admit to what you've been hiding. either option isn't ideal, so fingers crossed violet wakes up soon and you can use her as a buffer.

tying the balloons to your mailbox ended up being more of an ordeal than you thought, so it takes you a while to trudge back into the house. you're tired already and the party hasn't started yet. you're making another cup of coffee when you realize the house is quiet, no sounds of jen and no sounds of vi. you let the coffee pot run as you walk around in search of the girls, and you hear a faint noise coming from the backyard. a peek through the window shows jen and violet running streamers from the back porch to vi's playset, and your heart warms. while they're outside, you get to work on the birthday pancakes in peace. you're almost done with them when you get a call, groaning to yourself thinking it's a parent calling about the party. you don't check the name before you answer, letting out a perfectly nice, "hello?"

"y/n, hi," san says on the other line. "is this a bad time?"

"um, n-no," you stammer, "it's um, no, i can talk. just for a minute."

"if you're busy i can call back-"

"no, san, go ahead," you insist. "just be warned i'm making pancakes, so i am a little distracted."

"oh yeah, you used to suck at those," san teases, and for a moment you're thrown back to college. you remember san staying over at your dorm, claiming he was too drunk to walk the fifteen steps down the hall. you let him crash on your floor, and he woke up to an awful hangover and the sound of you cursing over your batch of blackened pancakes. trying to be nice, san tried one anyway. you'll never forget the way you both belly laughed after he lied and said they were good with a look of fear in his eyes. later he admitted he'd never had something so bad, and you swore to never make pancakes again. san obviously remembers, because he asks, "what made you stop the pancake ban?"

"they're for vi's birthday."

"her birthday was on tuesday i thought?"

"yeah, but we're having her party today," you explain, and then you clap your hand to your forehead. you shouldn't have said anything.

"oh then i won't keep you," san says quickly. there's something strange in his voice, but you're so far removed from him that you can't pick up on it. "i hate to call about school stuff on the weekend, but this is the only time i had..."

while san explains the reason for his call (room mom duties + he missed you, but he leaves that part out), jen and violet come in from the backyard. streamers are done, and violet is wearing a torn one around her neck like a scarf. you wave her over for a hug and a kiss, and jen mouths, "who are you talking to?" so you show your phone screen. she gasps when she sees it's san, and it's like you're watching a lightbulb spring from her head. she's got an idea.

"invite him to the party!" jen hisses, and you push her away.

"is that the birthday girl?" san asks, and there's a softness in his voice that makes you melt. "do you need to go?"

"no, just one of the birthday elves being annoying," you grumble, trying to elbow away from jen but she grabs your phone anyway and says a cheery hello to her coworker.

"hey san! happy saturday," she starts off. "listen, are you doing anything around, say, one o'clock?"

"uh, not that i can think of-"

"great! then i'll have y/n text you her address, you should come to violet's party. there's plenty of food, and we'd love to see you!" jen says with an evil smile plastered on her face.

"um, can you hand me back to y/n?" san asks, and jen relinquishes your phone then disappears.

"san, you do not have to come if you don't want to, jen is-"

"jen's what!?" jen shouts from somewhere within your house.

"i want to come," san says, and you're so surprised you almost drop the pancake you're trying to flip. "if that's ok."

"i..." you trail off, and then you look at violet. sweet, lovely violet. you would do anything for that girl, but you know she deserves more. she deserves both parents, and the little part of you that's been wondering if san's reappearance was a sign is the part that wins you over. you say, "yeah, come to the party. i want you here."

"then i'm there," san says, and you can hear his smile. "should i bring a present?"

"no, god, don't worry about that. girl's spoiled already, she doesn't need another toy," you tell him, and san laughs.

"alright. then text me the address, and i'll see you soon i guess."

"yeah, see you soon," you mumble as you hang up and look around for jen. she's rightfully hiding somewhere, but violet's voice distracts you as she asks who you were talking to. "well sugar, i have an extra birthday surprise for you," you say as you plate her pancakes. "mr. choi might be coming to your party, is that ok?"

"mr. choi?!" violet shrieks as she stands in her chair. you remind her not to do that and she listens, but she looks at you and asks, "for seriously? he's my favorite teacher."

"hey," jen whines as she rejoins you, throwing away the remnants of wrapping paper in her hands. "and to think i got you the biggest coolest birthday present ever."

"really?" you and violet ask in unison, and jen nods enthusiastically at your daughter. when she joins you at the sink she whispers, "i didn't go overboard."

"yes you did," you whisper back.

"what did san want?" jen asks with that evil smile again, and you try to elbow her side but she darts away too quickly.

"i had told him about the game the kinder moms wanted our grade to do for field day, and he forgot what supplies it needed," you explain. "so he was calling about that, and the call was almost over when someone interrupted."

"y/n, listen," jen says sternly, and you both look over to violet to make sure she's distracted. jen keeps her voice down as she continues, "he likes you. don't ask me how i know, but i know. and the way you get so nervous around him, i know it sounds childish, but i think you have a crush on him-"

"jen," you say seriously. "please stop. you don't know what you're doing."

"no, y/n, you don't know what you're doing!" jen says, and you step back. "no, i don't mean it like that. i just mean, you said you were having a hard time doing this on your own. it may not be my place, but i think san could help. he'd be good for you and violet."

"you remember how san and i were friends years ago?" you ask, and jen nods, about to add to her case, but you cut her off. "we were close. really close."

"did you kiss?" jen asks excitedly and you roll your eyes.

"will you focus?" you smile anyway, and add, "we spent most of our time together, but then life stuff changed. we went in completely different directions, and it was just easier to say goodbye and go our separate ways. that was five years ago. well, six, now i guess," you correct yourself, your eyes betraying you as they flick back over to violet.

"oh my god," jen gasps. "no."

"yes."

"no way."

"yes."

"you're a liar."

"mommy's not a liar," violet chimes in, and you let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a cry. "miss jen, that wasn't very nice."

"i'm sorry violet, you're right," jen says calmly. she looks closely at violet and then to you. "but sometimes what's right is hard to do."

"i know that," you sigh. "believe me. but we can talk about this later."

"you bet your ass we are!"

"miss jen!"

"sorry, sorry!"

-

you and jen do a good job of ignoring the truth bomb you set off just before guests started arriving, but knowing san will be here soon keeps you on edge all day. violet is having the time of her life, which takes a little bit of pressure off of you at least. you just have to play host to your family and friends all while keeping one eye on the door for san.

he arrives just past one. you heard the doorbell from the backyard, but as you're walking through the house you see your aunt opening the door for him. it opens to a stunning version of the man you've tried so hard to hide from, and just looking at him makes you blush. he's dressed casually, but nicer than the work out clothes you see him in at the school. jeans and a sweater, and glasses. san never wore glasses in school, and you're wondering why this news is making your stomach flip. when san finds you, his face lights up. he makes his way around a group of kids and pulls you into a polite hug, mumbling his greeting into your hair. you wish time would stop for a moment, let you stay in his hold a second longer. but he's pulling away and shyly presenting a gift bag, his sheepish eyes saying "sorry but not sorry."

"i told you not to bring anything," you scoff, taking the gift over to the present table anyway.

"it's something small, but i think she'll like it," san says, and you thank him. it's awkward for a second as you both search for something to say, but in the quiet san reaches to push his glasses further up his nose and you smile.

"so you getting old, choi?" you tease him, pointing to the glasses. "how long have you needed those for?"

"just a couple years," san shrugs. "i don't mind them, but it's easier to wear contacts at work. i actually like the way they look."

"they're cute," you agree, and you feel your heart thudding in your chest as san processes the compliment. he looks around your house then, and he distractedly puts an arm around you in another hug as he says, "your house is great, by the way. you've really made a life for yourself, y/n." he looks at you while he says the next part, "i hope you're proud of yourself."

"i am," you nod, suddenly very aware of how many people are here and possibly looking at you two. you feign a cough and san gets the hint. he pulls away and you immediately feel cold, but you catch a glimpse of jen eyeing you in the corner of the room. you shake off whatever was distracting you because of the man at your side, and you're about to excuse yourself to find violet when the woman in question appears below you.

"mr. choi!!!" she shouts as she jumps in place. "you're here!"

"i am!" he replies, holding hands and jumping with violet. "are you having fun?"

"yeah! cmere, i wanna show you my swings!" she says excitedly, and then san is being dragged outside. you follow at a safe distance, wanting to see how they interact without making it too obvious you're watching san and not your kid. some of the school kids present recognize a big kid in san and soon he's got a whole herd following him around. you laugh seeing him be so silly, so freely himself with these kids, and you wonder if this is what he's like as a teacher. then you find your mind wandering to what san would be like as a dad. you know he'd be great, so what are you doing?

you know you have to tell him. you see the way violet is smiling and laughing, and you can't keep this kind of joy from her anymore. you don't know when, and you don't know how, but you will tell san that he's the father of your daughter.

-

violet's birthday party was perfect. she had an amazing time, her friends had an amazing time, and you had an amazing time. with san. he fit back into your life perfectly, and as you were saying your goodbyes at the end of the night, you had the intense desire to kiss him. you didn't, but that's only because jen came over with a sleepy violet that she thrust into your arms. you and san were cooing over the tired party girl and jen inconspicuously snapped a picture of the three of you. you and san, looking down at violet with so much love in your eyes, and violet smiling her biggest smile. jen texted it to you later and you were grateful to have this moment captured forever.

you were staring at that photo now, waiting for violet to finish getting ready for school. you weren't really paying attention to the time, caught up in admiring san. you felt a sense of calm and safety when you thought of him, looked at him, and you're kicking yourself for keeping that same feeling from violet's life. you were so distracted by your thoughts that you didn't hear violet walk up, so you almost jumped out of your skin when she says, "whatcha doooin?" directly into your ear.

"oh baby you scared me," you gasp. she giggles and points to your phone.

"you were staring at mr. choi!"

"i was not," you roll your eyes, but she nods and goes, "yeah huh."

"i'm not getting into a yeah huh nuh uh fight with you right now," you say as you ruffle her hair. "you ready for school?" it's then that you give her a once over and screw your face up in confusion. "where's that shirt from? i don't remember buying you that."

"it was my gift from mr. choi, 'member?" violet says proudly as she shows it off.

"yeah, yeah, i guess i do," you reply. "you wanted to wear it to school?"

"so i can tell him thank you," she says simply, and you place a soft kiss on her forehead. your sweet girl.

"i'm sure he'll be happy to see it. c'mon, let's go."

-

san had an awful morning. none of the classes would listen to him, half of his equipment for this unit was broken or missing, and apparently he was getting evaluated this afternoon. nothing was wrong, it was just protocol, but why did he find out about it two hours before it was supposed to happen? he was stressed, unprepared, and wearing a t shirt that apparently has a hole in the armpit. one of the unruly classes so kindly pointed that out for him. so yeah, it's been a bad day. that's why he sat down at lunch with a huff, interrupting whatever jen and wooyoung had been talking about prior to his dramatic entrance.

"what's wrong with you?" wooyoung asks bluntly, and san scoffs.

"one of those days where i'm considering child abandonment."

"san!" jen gasps.

"i'm joking, chill out," he sighs. "i just. can today be over? i'd like it to be over. or can i get a redo? that might be better, considering i have an eval today i know i'm not gonna pass."

"if you go into it like that then duh you're gonna do bad," jen says. "but it hasn't even happened yet, so why be so negative?"

"whatever," san huffs again, poking at his food like it's the root of his bad day. "how has your day been."

"great, my kids are angels and i love my job," wooyoung jokes, so san kicks him under the table.

"your class was the first one to put me in a bad mood this morning."

"yeah, because i told them i accidentally killed our class pet."

"wooyoung!" jen gasps again.

"accidentally!"

"how'd you manage that?" san asks with the beginnings of a smile on his face. not that he was laughing over the death of a very tiny pet, no. but he did enjoy seeing wooyoung making mistakes. makes the world go round, he thinks.

"i forgot to take it home for the weekend and i came in this morning to bob the beta fish belly up," wooyoung explains. he raises his carton of strawberry milk in a toast, which san and jen play along with. "he didn't live long, i didn't like him, and the kids barely knew he was there. bob, may you rest in peace."

"this isn't making me feel better," san whines as they clink their drinks together.

"oh!" jen says happily, "i have something!" she shuffles around looking for her phone, and excitedly pulls something up for san to see. she shoves the screen so close to his face he can barely see anything, so he takes her phone and blinks to let his eyes adjust. he smiles immediately when he realizes it's the picture of him, you, and violet. he's so mesmerized by your beauty, all these years later, that it takes him a minute to shift his focus to the equally beautiful violet squeezed between you. she's perfect, san thinks. if he had a kid, he'd want her to be just like violet: kind, funny, full of energy and life.

"who is that?" wooyoung asks, pushing his face close to san's to catch a glimpse. "ooo, is that your milf?"

it's jen's turn to kick him underneath the table, but san must admit, that was a little funny. he doesn't answer right away, though. something about the picture has caught his attention.

"no," jen says sternly since san has gone mute. "that's my friend y/n and her kid violet, we've talked about them before. san came to her birthday party this weekend."

"the milf?!"

"no!" jen repeats. "violet. i helped y/n with the party, and since she and san go way back, i kinda invited san without her knowing."

"nice," wooyoung nods. "good. get him into the house, and then into her heart. maybe the pants too-"

"dude," san finally cuts in. "what's wrong with you?"

"you two are boring me," he sighs. "sue me if i wanted to have a little fun with our conversation."

"you took this?" san asks jen, ignoring wooyoung now. she says yes, so he asks, "can i send it to myself? do you think y/n would mind?"

"no, i think that's fine," jen replies with a smile. "go ahead."

"thanks," san mumbles, typing his number in quickly to send the photo. he doesn't want to seem weird, sitting here staring at it, but there's still something he can't quite put his finger on. something familiar about it. not quite deja vu, but like he's seen this before. he hands jen's phone back to her, and she continues some inane argument with wooyoung as san checks his phone. huh, he thinks, taking one last look at the photo as he saves it to his library. violet sure has a nice smile.

-

san's day does not get better. the evaluation was mediocre at best, but the assistant principal doing the visit pulled him aside and promised better equipment in the new year. at least one good thing came out of this awful day.

well, two good things. san keeps opening his phone just to stare at that picture of himself with you and violet. his desire to patch things up with you only continues to grow, and he's been thinking about you so much that he swears he hears your voice calling his name at the end of the day. then a squeakier, tinier voice joins in, and san realizes, oh shit, you and violet are in his office.

"hey, sorry," he shakes his head to clear his thoughts. "god, sorry. how long were you standing there?"

"not long," you assure him. "i hope we're not bothering you?"

"not at all," he says as he stands. violet runs up to him then, turning from side to side with her hands clasped in front of her. san laughs, looking from her to you as he asks, "what's going on?"

"vi had a surprise for you, and she forgot she didn't have pe today so she got into the car crying because you didn't get to see it," you explain. "we turned around as soon as i got the story, and now we're here. do you recognize her shirt at all?"

"oh my god!" san smiles, violet joining in. san bends down to pick her up and swings her around to the sound of giggles. "you're wearing my present! do you like it?"

"i do!" she chirps, hiccuping a little as the giggles continue. san slows and carefully places her back down as she says, "thank you for coming to my party."

"thank you for inviting me," san replies, and you realize he's talking to you. you consider telling him now, you can feel his gaze pulling the words right out of you, but you chicken out.

"thank jen," you remind him. "she's the one who ambushed me."

"ambush?" san laughs nervously. "i hope me coming over wasn't an ambush."

"i shouldn't have said that," you shake your head. "i just." you take a deep breath. "it's been hard, you know, seeing you again. getting used to you being back in my life."

"happy to be here," san says coolly, and you pick up on the undertones. you knew he must have been upset with you, only wanting him when you couldn't have him. he'd given you so many chances to be his, but you grasped the last one. san was mad at himself first, and he's not mad at you per se, but the memory of that still hurts. he could have been in your life, violet's life, this whole time. it was you who kept the door bolted shut. now it's like there's little cracks filtering in bits of sunlight, and you're basking in them. you're just afraid that the warmth you feel from san now will burn you someday, that your past will be too hard to get over, and you can't tell him about violet until you know how he really feels.

"listen, we should go, but i want to hang out with you soon," you tell him, and san looks at you confused. "we need to catch up, don't you think?"

"sure," san agrees. "let me know where to be and when, i'll make it work."

-

that friday night, you have a babysitter (jen) and plans to meet san for dinner. jen is already here, you can hear her and violet whispering about something in the living room as you finish getting ready. this is not a date, but you're so nervous it might as well be. you could end up telling san tonight, if things go right. and if they go wrong...that's what's making you so nervous. the anxious side of you is already thinking of schools you can move violet to if the night goes bad, and the optimist is thinking about san finally being a dad to violet.

it's like he knew you were thinking about him, because his caller id lights up your phone (yes, his contact photo is that picture).

"you're cancelling," you say as soon as you pick up.

"what? no, freak," san chuckles. "i'm outside, but i'm sorry, i can't remember if your house has the red door or the blue one."

"you're what?" you ask, walking from your room to the front door. jen and violet watch on in curiosity, and you let out a sound of disbelief when you open the door to see san, standing by his car, looking from your house to the one next door.

"oh. found it," he teases, hanging up as he comes to the door. "you're not ready yet?"

"no, because i thought we were meeting there, i had more time," you say as you check your phone and notice you actually did not have time. "ok, i thought i had more time, but still. you didn't say you were picking me up."

"surprise?" san says sheepishly, peeking inside to wave to the girls.

"hi mr. choi!" they respond in unison, and san chuckles again.

"um, well, i wasn't expecting- i still have to-" you stammer out, basically turning in circles before staring back up at san. "give me two minutes."

"two? it'll be more like ten," san calls after you. you sort of sprint back to your room, checking that you look put together. your eyes look nervous, though. you hope san can't pick up on that. you grab your favorite necklace, one that violet picked out for you recently, and hold onto the heart pendant as you take a deep breath. you can do this. it's just san, your old pal! your friend! the father of your daughter who has no idea his life could have been completely different or that it's going to change with the information you're about to give him! great! let's go eat some tacos!

you and san both give violet hugs goodbye (she insisted) and jen says goodbye with a wiggle of her eyebrows. she thinks this is a date, and she spent an appropriate amount of time hyping you up tonight. she's known san more recently, so she gave you good insight on the whole telling him situation. she assured you that, while he may be frustrated by you not telling him sooner, under it all he'll be happy. he's wanted a family of his own since he started working at the school, so she's sure he'll be nothing but thrilled once the initial shock wears off. boy do you hope she's right.

-

san is being such a gentleman. first picking you up, then rushing out of the car to open your door for you, pulling your chair out at the restaurant...it's making this feel like a date. it's also making you scared that you're going to chicken out, but you can't.

"so," san says with a :] smile. "what did you want to talk about?" you take a moment to mess with the chips and salsa in front of you before you respond. you're taking so long that san takes a deep breath and starts, "i hope you know i'm not mad at you."

"what?" you ask in a small voice, chip halfway to your mouth.

"i'm not mad at you," san goes on. "i never was. i hope you know that."

"but i was a dick," you tell him, and he lowers his head with a laugh. you want him to listen to you though, so you grab his hand laid out on the table and squeeze. "no, seriously, that was such an asshole move on my part. only letting down my walls and letting you in the night before we both moved away? i've never forgiven myself for that."

"but you should," san shrugs. "i understand. i'm glad it happened. if i had to choose, i'd rather it happen the exact same way than not happen at all."

"right," and now it's your turn to look down. you let go of san's hand and go back to messing with the food in front of you. "i'm still sorry for how i acted."

"it's ok, i promise," san assures you. you aren't looking at him so he clears his throat and says, "actually, while we're talking about...back then. i have something to tell you too." oh no, you think. you nod to encourage him to continue, not sure you can speak right now. "um, well, here goes. i know it's been years, and we've barely talked since school, but..i don't know, y/n. i still think you're the one for me, and i was just wondering, maybe, since we're both in the same town again, and we see each other so often..."

"what, san?" you whisper, afraid of what he's going to say.

"will you go out with me?" he asks. "finally?"

"san," you sigh, and he shakes his head.

"no, don't say no yet. you can think about it. i know you have a lot more to consider than i do, so i don't mind waiting. but i wanted to put it out there. in case, uh, in case you were interested."

"put it out there? why are you talking about this like a couch you're trying to get rid of?" you tease him to ease the tension. "you just asked me out and now you sound like you're not sure."

"i'm sure," san says firmly. "very sure. but i don't want you to feel pressured."

"you've never made me feel anything but loved, san," you let slip, and you want to etch the look on his face into your memory forever. he looks so pleased, so purely happy at your words. they're hanging in the air as the waiter comes by to take your order, and that provides enough of a distraction that you both go back to a semblance of normalcy when he leaves. you fall into an easy conversation, catching up over your lost years. san tells you all about work, his family, his friends. it makes you happy that you chose this town, this school, to raise your kid in.

you fill san in too, but only the highlights. you don't want to ruin your dinner with the news, so you tell him about your career since he knows the least about that. he can't stop telling you how proud he is, and reiterates how amazing you are for raising a kid on top of it. you've got a steady blush on your cheeks as you keep chatting, and you notice then that the meal is over. your plates have been cleared for a while, and san paid without you knowing. how'd he do that?

"i was going to pay for my food," you protest.

"nope, my treat," san says. "let someone else take care of you for once."

"well thanks," you squeak out. "i've got you next time though."

"if there's a next time, i'm still paying," san replies so you roll your eyes and drop it for now. "um, before we go though, i was wondering...can i ask about violet? i feel like you barely mentioned her."

"oh, sorry," you laugh it off. "i don't get a chance to talk about myself a lot, so i'm not saying i forgot to mention vi, i just..."

"i get it," san nods in understanding. "you wanted to brag about yourself for a minute, that's ok. i'm glad you did."

"good," you smile shyly. "but, yeah, violet. what about her?"

"i wanna hear as much as you're willing to tell me," san says, and looking into your eyes, you know he means the father. "was there some great love of your life you don't want to tell me about?"

"san, it's not like that," you tell him, then think to yourself that in a way it is true. you think san is the love of your life, but you can't say that yet. "right, well, i have something to tell you, actually," you say in a voice stronger than you expected. you thought you'd be nervous, but it's like some mom power kicks in and you're able to stare directly into san's strong, gorgeous eyes as you speak. "can i?" you motion to his hands, and he holds them out so you can place your smaller ones in his. still looking into the eyes you've grown to love, you take a deep breath and say, "i'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner. but san, you're violet's dad. she's your daughter."

"what?" he asks in a shaky voice.

"when we.." you try to explain, and have to start over, "that night. five years ago-"

"six," san corrects.

"six, you're right. that night was when she...yeah. i found out about violet a month later, after i had moved. i tried calling you. i did, i swear, and i know that sounds so childish but it's the truth. i tried calling you, tried figuring out how to tell you...but i heard how happy you were, how easy it was for you to settle into your life back at home. i didn't want to throw something unexpected at you and change all of that."

you rambled, and you're not sure how easy that was to follow. or how believable it was either, but you've said it. you're watching san take it in, and he's unnervingly calm. you can't read his face at all, but you realize you've been squeezing his hands and he's squeezing yours right back. you relax your grip then, but he doesn't. he stays quiet.

"san, say something."

"th-thank you," he stutters, finally slipping his hands out of yours. "thanks for protecting me from that, i guess."

"san, i-"

"no, y/n, it's fine," he shakes his head and stands. "come on, let's go. it's getting late."

-

the car ride is silent. san says nothing, but you can feel the emotions radiating from him. or maybe those are your own? fear, resentment, sadness...you always thought telling san the truth would make everything better. make you feel at peace at last. but currently you feel more ill at ease than you ever have. you want to crawl out of your skin, you want to scream at yourself, at san, just to get some kind of reaction out of him.

when he pulls into your driveway, he puts the car in park but doesn't unlock the door. you can tell he wants to say something, so you wait. you think you see jen peeking through the blinds, but you're not sure. a quick glance at the clock tells you violet's been in bed for a while, but knowing jen she probably let her stay up a little longer. you hope she's still awake when you go in, you could really use a hug from her right now.

"y/n," san calls your name softly. you turn your body completely so he can see you fully, and you see he's gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are white. "does she know?"

"huh?"

"violet," san says her name so carefully, so purposefully. like it's taken on a new meaning. "does violet now i'm her dad?"

"n-no," you stutter, and san slumps his head down. "but i told her about you. about her dad."

"she looks just like me," he says, and that's when you notice the sadness in his voice. he sounds broken, and it feels like your heart rips itself to shreds.

"san, i am so sor-"

"don't. just don't." you watch him carefully, and you think you see tears. "i can't..."

"can't what?" you want to reach out and touch him, to brush the tears away, but you hesitate.

"i can't believe you kept this from me," he says in a whisper so small you barely heard it.

"i was young and stupid and scared, san," you defend yourself. "i didn't know what i was doing, i should have tried harder to get in touch but-"

"i didn't get to be there y/n," he spits out, and you stop talking as he turns to you. "i missed her birth, her first steps, her first words. i wasn't in her life! she's my kid and you kept her from me for some of the most important years of her life."

"i know, and i'm..i'm sorry."

"sorry doesn't cut it." he's full on crying now. "i thought...i thought you cared about me. about what we meant to each other. how could you do this?"

"i was wrong to keep you away," you admit. "it ate me alive every day, but the longer i waited the harder it was to call you. and this is totally self inflicted but raising a kid on my own was hard! after i made that choice i barely had time to think about anything else!" you're shouting now, not out of anger, but frustration. "it was selfish, and i'm sorry. but i told you. you've always been part of violet's life. i tell her about her dad all the time. she asks about you, and i've never lied to her. i only kept your name, who you are to me, a secret."

"yeah that makes me feel so much better," san rolls his eyes, and you scoff before reaching over him to unlock the doors. as soon as you do, you're out of the car and rushing to your front door, san running behind you calling your name.

you get into the house and see jen moving around in the kitchen, but no signs of violet. san has stopped behind you, standing awkwardly at the threshold, so you grab his shirt and pull him along with you into violet's room. at the sound of the door opening she bolts up in bed. she looks confused, seeing two figures in her doorway, but when she recognizes you she makes little grabby hands for you to join her. again, san stays at the door, watching the two of you with a new perspective.

"cmere sugar," you whisper softly, sitting on violet's bed. you maneuver her so she's sitting on your lap.

"why is mr. choi here?" she asks, and you hear san take in a breath.

"his name is san, violet. and he's very important to me," you explain. violet is facing san as you ask, "can you tell us all you know about your daddy?" she nods, and then begins.

"mommy says he's very nice, the nicest man in the world!" violet starts out. "she says he's smart and strong and funny and handsome. she says i have his smile!" and with this she smiles, teeth and all, and san sees himself in her. it brings tears to his eyes, but she keeps going. "mommy says he's caring, and i had to ask what that meant. she says being caring means you're a good friend and you're nice to everybody. that reminds me of you, mr. san!"

"anything else baby?" you ask violet, stroking her hair. "what else do we say about daddy?"

"we love him very much," violet answers proudly. "and even if he's not with us, like in the same house or something, he's always right here!" and with that she puts her hand over her heart. she looks up at you then, asking, "did i miss anything mommy?"

"nope, you got it all sugar," and you kiss the top of her head, afraid to meet san's eyes. "thank you, violet. are you ready to go back to bed now?"

"yeah, but i want a bedtime story," she pouts, and you wonder if san notices how similar they look then too. "babysitter jen does too many funny voices, and one of them scared me."

"ok, i'll read you a story," you whisper, slowly and carefully dumping her back into bed as you stand. "but i need to talk to san really quick, is that ok?"

"uh huh," violet nods with a yawn, cuddling back up to her favorite stuffie. as san looks around her room, he notices a pillow he used to have, tucked in the corner of violet's bed. he used to call it shiber, it was something silly, but he loved that thing in college. it went missing the week before school ended, and san always wondered where it went. well, now he knows.

you carefully pull violet's door shut as the two of you back out into the hallway. the rest of the house is quiet, so you wonder briefly if jen has gone home. you look to san, ready to defend yourself further, get him to understand where you're coming from, but then you see the tears on his cheeks. now you do reach up and wipe them away, his hands covering yours and squeezing tightly.

"i am so sorry for keeping you away," you say one last time. "it was wrong. it will take time, but i will do everything i can to make that up to you."

"you can do it right now," san breathes out, the first easy breath he's taken since this conversation started. "let me be in her life. in yours. i missed so much, i can't miss anymore of it."

"we're here if you want us," you tell him, and san squeezes your hands again before pulling them from his face. he drapes your arms over his shoulders, his drifting to your waist.

"i do," he nods eagerly. "i want you." and with that, he kisses you. it's not a soft kiss, no. there's more force behind it than that. there's six years (maybe more) of repressed feelings in that kiss. it's the kind of kiss that makes you want to pop your foot up, the kind that sends butterflies soaring up from your stomach through your chest. you're so lost in the feeling that you don't hear violet's door open, and then...

"oh! mommy! mr. san is biting you!" violet shrieks, so you and san finally detach. you keep your foreheads together as you look down at violet staring disapprovingly at you.

"he's not biting me, we were kissing," you explain to her, but she doesn't like that answer.

"hey, i got in trouble for kissing a boy on the playground," she whines, and san looks at you in shock. you nod to confirm as you tell her, "that's because you shouldn't kiss at school. and you're too young. you can kiss when you're-"

"thirty," san finishes for you, making you both laugh as violet whines more.

"i was just gonna say when she's older," you whisper to him, and he shrugs.

"had to assert my parenting style somehow."

"why are you and mr. san whispering?" violet asks with a jump and her arms in the air. you're about to pick her up when san bends down and scoops her instead, so you can talk to her eye level.

"we're talking about you," you say as you boop her nose. "and stop calling him mr. san."

"what do i call him then?" she pouts, and you share your first silent parent language stare with san.

"actually baby, we have something we need to tell you..."

[queenimmadolla]

CRUEL SUMMER - ‘85 (PART ONE)

summary: . . . the year Eddie Munson doesn’t give a fuck about not having graduated when he’s gotta save the girl so he can get the girl. (in which Eddie is in ST3 and reader is basically Heather Holloway) ┊ Eddie Munson x Flayed!Reader┊ Main Masterlist - Series Masterlist - PII - PIII

chapter warning: pining, billy hargrove, ‘unrequited’ love, angst, fluff, violence towards reader, insecurity

word count: 2.3k

a/n: yeah, so i started re-watching ST3 for Heather again and immediately started shipping her with Eddie after i started wondering if he had known her. thought about writing a fic for them but for now, i’ll let you have the honors of being in her place ;) i feel like, from what i interpreted, Heather was very eager to please for validation, the girl who wants to fit in (a lot like jenna rink from 13 going on 30 when she’s a teen) so that’s how reader is. don’t know if i want to have reader meet the same fate yet or not, so let’s see how this goes!

“WHAT DID I JUST SAY, CURTIS?” Your voice boomed through the megaphone and the boy in question let the other boy he’d been holding under water back up for air, glaring at you.

“Menace.” You mumbled, adjusting the white oversized sunglasses on your face as your eyes scanned over the crowd to ensure no one else was doing anything obviously stupid.

Clear.

You relaxed back into the life guard chair, happy to be out of the sun. It was getting hotter and hotter every year and all you wanted to do is seek out some air conditioning, but when your mom mentioned to you that Sarah Donahue told her the Hawkins Community Pool was looking for life guards, you saw o p p o r t u n i t y.

See, you had a lot of time on your hands. Your friends were all busy. With each other. They, uh, didn’t really like you all that much. But they were all you had. Clearly, this had been fate because you needed something to do, and the pool needed life guards. Win-win!

You’d gotten the job pretty easily, and for a decent amount of time, too. You worked Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday mornings. It killed you to be at work by 8am, but it was worth it because it meant you were off at 12, which would give you plenty of time to still hang out with Eddie.

And you actually enjoyed the job. There was something relishing about finally being the one people had to look up to. You could tell someone not to do something and they had to listen to you. The babies were pretty cute, too. The only unpleasant thing was the person who relieved you.

The watch on your wrist beeped, alerting you to your clock out time. You made sure your fanny pack was secured around your red one piece as you climbed down from the post, paying no mind to the married woman primping themselves for the eye-candy.

You knew he’d be on time. He was an asshole, but a punctual asshole. Billy Hargrove. You smacked your gum as the two of you passed each other, always with the usual stare down. Or at least, as close as you could get to having a stare down while both of your eyes were hidden behind sunglasses. You could see every girl doing a double take but you just kept going, eager to take a quick shower so you could be on your way.

Once you’d been scrubbed free of chlorine and you smelled like lemons, you rushed to get dressed, too impatient to dry yourself off completely. There wasn’t anything waiting for you at home, but you weren’t going to stay home. No, you had asked Eddie if he wanted to hang out after you got off of work yesterday, and he agreed. He agreed. Which meant you were meeting Eddie at his trailer as soon as you put your swimsuit in the washer. Once your shoes were on, you threw your backpack on and peddled home as fast as you could, so fast that you beat your best time. You’d just started the washer and were like three steps from the front door when the phone rang. Groaning, you rushed over, answering with a twinge of animosity on your voice, “Hello?” “Wouldn’t be happy to hear from me, either.” He laughed over the line. Your heartbeat rivaled a hummingbird’s wings flapping when you recognized the voice. “Eddie!” “Hey, Sunshine.” He breathed out, you could practically see that soft smile you knew he had on through the phone. “I was just about to head out! Thought I was gonna have to take a message for my parents for a second there.” You joked, twirling the cord of the phone around your finger like some stupid, love sick teenage girl. Which, granted, you were.

“That’s—That’s actually what I called about. I-uh—can’t meet up today. A few last minute business calls. I’m sorry, but I promise I’ll make it up to you. You free after work tomorrow?” Your shoulders sagged in disappointment, but part of you had known it was coming. More often than not, Eddie ended up having to deal during your special hang out time, and it usually ran past your curfew. “Yeah,” The only people who wanted to hang out with you lately were the ones in the soap operas you watched during your free time. And they had to be there. “I’m clearing inventory tonight, and I’m keeping my whole schedule for tomorrow clear. Wait—no, I’m booked. From the moment I get up, to the moment your curfew starts. Meet me at the bench. I’ll be all yours.” God, if only. And he really did mean it. Eddie woke up around the time you got off of work. But even if he woke up at too-fucking early o’clock, he’d wait for you.

“What if something comes up again?” Because it had happened before, too. “Then I will track you down the moment I’m free—regardless of where you are, by the way—and carry you off.”

It was easy to picture Eddie strutting right in the Community Pool, plucking you from your post, and then strutting back out. You could already feel your hope building up, but you needed something a little more concrete. Some reassurance. And Eddie was the only one in your life who ever gave it to you.

“Promise?” Your voice was small, but the barely contained excitement could still be heard.

“I promise.” There wasn’t an ounce of doubt left in you after he said that, the sincerity in his voice piercing right through those troubling thoughts.

“Okay!”

“See you tomorrow, sunshine.” The rest of your day was spent catching up on your soap operas you didn’t know were your soap operas until you realized you were lame enough to be watching daytime television. Even the moms were out and about doing something. Friday had found you in even better spirits, despite the troll in the pool. “HEY! No dunking, Curtis. No. Dunking.” This kid was not about to ruin your record. First of all, you didn’t wanna ever have to give anyone at the pool CPR. You avoided the pool yourself because that was a bunch of piss water, and you weren’t about to put your lips on anything that had been submerged in said piss water.

Once Curtis wasn’t a threat, you went back to ignoring the way-past-middle aged women you kept feeling glaring at you. You knew what they said about you. 

How annoying they thought you were. But it didn’t phase you. 

See, they were just the grown up versions of your friends. Scratch that, they were who your friends were going to become. Eddie had pointed it out one day—and of course it was the one day he visited you at work that the Mothers Grimm chose to be a little bit louder than normal, you were so embarrassed—and you couldn’t stop seeing it. Knowing they were miserable with their lives like that took away any intimidation they may have had over you.

Your watched beep, and like clockwork, you climbed down the post and passed Billy. It was clear he was off his game, most likely hungover. Still, he was finally wearing a shirt so you tossed him a backhanded complimenting he didn’t acknowledge, and made your way to the showers. You were a little thirsty and you’d finished your water already so you were forced to wait in line at the snack bar. This meant your shower would have to be more rushed, just your luck.

As you were rushing towards the girls showers, you heard someone screaming in agony from the boys. It sounded like Billy. You dropped your water bottle and hurried in.

Sure enough, Billy was crumpled against the wall, still wearing his shirt, under the shower. He looked terrified. Sure, you didn’t like the guy and you thought he was a terrible human being, but you didn’t think you could live with yourself if you had the chance to save someone and you didn’t. Had he fallen and hit his head? “Billy?” He didn’t respond, just stared at you. You kneeled down to be eye level with him. “Billy, are you hurt?”

“What?” He gasped out. “I said, are you hurt?” He kept staring at you, like he didn’t understand a thing you were saying. “What’s going on? I heard screaming. Should I call an ambulance?”

Billy tensed up, his face contorting into something that scared you.

You didn’t even have time to wonder why you never seem to have any good luck as he threw himself at you, hand flying over your mouth to muffle your scream before he slammed your head once and hard into the ground.

- You woke up somewhere dark and scary, wrists and ankles bound by some rope that was rubbing aggressively into your skin. Your mouth had been duct taped shut, and you could taste the glue from it on your tongue. Despite the pain in your head, you moved it to the side and whimpered when you saw Billy staring down at you. 

Oh, god. Was he gonna kill you? 

Your brain switched into panic mode and you squirmed hard, trying in vain to break loose. Billy slammed you against the ground, and you winced as he leaned down, whispering into your ear, “Don’t be afraid. It’ll be over soon.” You were gonna piss yourself, you were so terrified. He was gonna kill you, that’s what killer said before they murdered someone.

“Just stay very still.” 

You swallowed hard, forcing yourself not to scream for help when he peeled the tape off of your lips. Billy stood up as you heard growling coming from the right of you. And then something worse than any monster you or even Eddie could have ever imagined emerged from the darkness. It shrieked and closed in. You screamed. And you kept screaming. 

—

Eddie sighed, fingers drumming over the dirty wood. A glance at his watch confirmed another half-hour had passed. It was 3pm. He knew your schedule better than his own. You set your alarm for 6am, but always got up at 7, then you’d manage to get your swimsuit on—and he was that swimsuit’s number one fan, — with those red dolphin shorts that left nothing to the imagination—again, big fan, he was lucky you were oblivious because he was terrible at being discreet—in under fifteen minutes, then you biked there (because you refused to let him give you rides), always arriving ten minutes or less before the Pool opened. Then you got off at 12, tried to be on your bike within 20 minutes, you’d get home around 12:45 because you seem to be awake enough to pedal home faster than you do in the earlier hours, and you’d be out of the house ten minutes later, always meeting him anywhere between 1:15 to 1:20. So yeah, you were a little late. 

He’d been trying to give you some leeway time, but his worry began to boil over. Were you mad at him about yesterday?

He felt like he’d made the wrong decision the second he agreed to it, but one of the basketball players was throwing a party and wanted some amusement. Eddie knew he’d be able to clean store in one go, which meant he’d have more time to spend with you. He had toyed with the idea of inviting you along, but he knew your poor excuses of ‘friends’ would be there, and it hurt him to watch them disregard you like that.

Eddie, like most of the town, knew how badly you wanted to fit in. Even back before the two of you had become friends, when you just knew of each other, it was obvious to him. You always chased the in crowd. They never chased you. However; they did keep you around to take advantage of you. 

But what frustrated Eddie was that you let them. After you two became friends, you had told him that you knew they took advantage of you, that they weren’t your friends, but you wanted to belong so bad that you didn’t care. He wished you could see yourself the way he did. In fact, he was gonna make sure you knew exactly how he saw you. Today, he was gonna tell you how he felt, finally confess that he’s in love with you.

That fondness at first sight during the talent show when you were younger had become something much more intense now.

He was ready for it, had a yearning for it. For you. 

He wasn’t stupid, he knew you returned his feelings. Had seen the way you stared at him when you thought he wasn’t looking, but it was your obvious mannerisms that gave you away. Like how you never waited until he had walked away from the door before you squealed on the other side when he dropped you off at home. 

You’d been waiting all this time for him to see you.

So, he could wait for you. What’s another half hour compared to the rest of your happy, lovesick lives?

-

You never showed up.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

What’s yours is mine 1

Warnings: nonconsent and rape, allusions to abuse, stalking, possessiveness, pregnancy, and more tags to be added.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Pairing: dark!Ransom Drysdale x pregnant!Reader

Summary: After five years, your past is far behind you but just as you think you can live your happily ever after, your ex shows up at the worst moment.

Note: I couldn’t sleep and ended up writing this and it will not be a long ongoing series but it will be a few parts. But Roo you say that all the time. Yes, well, I’m trying and I’m sorry but I’m gonna try to not be the worst.

Hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

“Oh my god, is that really you?” the voice made you stand stalk straight.

You took a breath and forced a smile before you turned to the indomitable woman. You never expected to see Linda again, not after you broke up with her son almost five years ago. And there she was, as rigid and righteous as ever, her thin lips curved in a mocking grin.

“Linda,” you greeted her in a singsong and looked around the grocery store. You never went to the overpriced organic market but your local shop didn’t have dragonfruit and you had a painful craving, “how are you?”

“Darling, I’m just great,” she held an empty basket on her arm, an odd sight as you never expected her to do her own shopping, “oh, and look at you!” Before you knew it, her hand was on your stomach and you struggled not shy away, “how far are you?”

“Um,” you looked down at the large ring on her finger and resisted the urge to step away as you often did in this situation, “almost five months.”

“And married?” she grabbed your left hand and pretended to admire the small teardrop diamond, “gorgeous.”

“Mhmm,” you waited for you to release you and swayed in place, “you barely look a day older than the last time I saw you.”

“You’re well? You look well,” she primped her short hair at the compliment, “oh, a baby.” She reached out again and you sighed as she rubbed your stomach, “for luck.”

You tried not to frown and ended up laughing at the tension, “well, it was nice running into you.”

“Oh, you know, I barely come down here but we’re headed up to my father’s place, you remember, such a cozy house, and Joni is in charge of food and well, I wouldn’t trust her with a plastic spoon so of course, I have a back up plan.”

You nodded along with her awkwardly, frozen in the spot as the dragon fruit barely seemed worth the torture. Linda was hard to please and alway derisive, but for as long as you were with Ransom, she had taken a keen shine to you. That alone came with an edge but it was rarely used to cut you.

You forced another laugh, “that sounds fun, getting away from the city.”

“Ugh, just another family gathering,” she waved it off with her free hand, “I’ll have to tell Ransom I ran into you, if he even shows up.”

“Well, I don’t think--”

“He’s grown up so much,” she interrupted, “you wouldn’t believe it. He got his own imprint in my father’s company publishing true crime. He’s really making a place for himself now.”

“That’s great,” you tried not to falter at the mention of her son. You hadn’t ended on the greatest terms and your relationship had been tumultuous and regrettable.

“I hope you have a great weekend, Linda,” you said, “but I got to--”

“Oh, not at all, I’m keeping you,” she squeezed your arm, “God, he was such an idiot to let you go.”

You nodded and swallowed through your tight throat, “I’m glad he’s doing better for himself.”

“You too,” she trilled, “oh, before I let you go, darling, is it a boy?”

You blinked and your smile wavered, “how did you know?”

“I could always tell,” she said, “so precious.”

She gave your stomach one last pat and disappeared into the produce section. You blinked as you looked down at the scaled fruit in your right hand. Chocolate, you needed chocolate.

You were rattled as you waited in the express line and put your things on the belt. You hadn’t thought of Ransom in a very long time. Not much. His shadow followed you around in those moments when your heart raced and your head spun, but you had learned to work through those fits. No one else knew what happened behind closed doors, they only knew Ransom, not Hugh.

You paid and shoved your fruit and candy into a paper bag. You headed out into the misty spring air. The rain had finally stopped and left the streets slick and shining. The sun was hazy as it clung to the last of the clouds and you inhaled the wet scent of grass and gravel.

You let your key hang from the ignition as you took a moment to gather yourself. You stared at the modest ring on your finger and held your stomach and you swore you could still feel Linda’s bony hand there. 

You had a loving husband, Dez, and a son on the way. Ransom wasn’t a part of any of that and this was just a blip on radar, the aftershock of the storm that ended years before. You sniffed and turned the engine. You wouldn’t go back to that store, it was far too expensive and the clientele were certainly not of your ilk.

🍼

Dez was in the kitchen when you got home, the smell of steak and peppers rose from the frying pan. You kissed his cheek as he kept one hand on the spatula and you dropped your bag on the counter beside the stove. You went to the fridge and poured yourself a glass of water. You turned and leaned against the marble and drank deeply.

“So, hon, how was your day?” he asked as he put the spatula down and peeked in the bag, “hmm, odd pairing but I don’t hate it.”

“I had a craving,” you shrugged, “it was… okay,” you heaved, “what’s for dinner?”

“Steak fajitas,” he said, “I trimmed the fat for you and,” he turned and reached out to you, “and I got you some champagne… non-alcoholic, obviously.”

“You know it doesn’t have the same effects,” you kidded as you put your glass down and settled into his arms, “and well,” you looked down at your stomach, “we already got one drunken night growing.”

He laughed and bent to kiss you on the lips. He rocked you as the pan sizzled behind him. You closed your eyes and tensed as suddenly your head flashed with the memory of Ransom, of the way he’d kiss you, harder than Dez, and the way it always turned to more whether you wanted it or not.

“Hey,” Dez pulled back, “you okay?”

“Yeah,” you lied, “hormones.”

“Aw, hon, well I have the perfect dessert planned,” he purred.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmhmm, strawberry massage oil,” he framed your face with his hand, “a nice long back rub…”

“Perfect,” you giggled, “why are you spoiling me?”

“Don’t I always?” he smirked.

“Hmm, rarely without reason,” you said.

“Well…” he voice trailed off and slowly he dropped his arms. He turned his back to you and grabbed the pan, stirring the contents with a shake, “I didn’t want you to miss me too bad.”

“Miss you?” you came forward and bent your arms over the counter, “where are you going?”

“Chicago, there’s some evidence down there we need to look at and they refuse to transfer it to our office so… bullshit confidentiality clause, but we need it.”

“How long?” your heart dropped.

“Well, I gotta leave in the morning but I told Gary I won’t stay longer than Monday.”

“And what did he say?”

“He laughed,” Dez shook his head, “I promise, I’ll do my best to be back as soon as I can--”

“No, I understand,” you said gloomily, “it’s just…” you cupped your chin and tapped your lips with your fingertips, “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” he said as he turned the burner off, “and this little guy,” he touched your stomach and you shivered as you remembered how Linda had done the same with her cold palm, “so, you choose a name yet?”

“Still not naming him Superman, babe,” you chided, “but no, I can’t make up my mind. God, it’s like my mind is in shambles, I can’t remember why I go in a room or even focus on one thing for more than two minutes before I’m distracted by what colour I want to paint the nursery and I can’t even decide on that because then I’m thinking about what kind of wood the crib should be--”

“It’s fine, you’re fine,” he assured as he opened the bag of tortillas, “you’re still there, you’re just… sharing a brain right now.”

“Wasn’t enough to go around in the first place,” you scoffed.

“Shh,” he arranged the plates carefully, like a five star restaurant, tortillas stacked, steak and veg together, a little dish of cheese, some sour cream, lettuce, salsa, all divvied out in a spectacular salsa you would only make a mess of.

“I thought the pregnancy would give me a chance to finish my book, but--”

“Well, you got maternity leave after that,” he said.

“From what? Sitting at my keyboard and crying? I’ll just be holding a baby and crying,” you sighed, “you said you’d take some time off.”

“I did say that and I will,” he grabbed the plates and nodded you out of the kitchen. He set the plates on the table and you sat as he went to grab two glasses and as many bottles. He poured you your spineless champagne and had a beer for himself, “I don’t want to miss anything.”

“You can’t take forever off,” you muttered, “we both know that. I could go back to copywriting and maybe--”

“Babe, that job made you miserable and you will finish your book,” he handed you a napkin, “I’ve read your stuff, it’s… you said your ex was in publishing?”

“Did I?”

“I thought you did, you never really… talk about the exes, which I love but, I think you said something about it. You don’t think he would--”

“No,” you snapped, “no,” you said softer, “he wouldn’t.”

“Sorry,” he said startled by your reaction, “I didn’t--”

“It’s nothing, I just-- exes, right?”

“It was a stupid suggestion,” he said, “I’m sorry, but… I have a client, he might have some contacts.”

“You don’t have to do that--”

“I don’t have to, I want to because the world deserves to hear your voice,” he insisted, “I hate to share you but I’d be selfish to keep you to myself.”

You smiled and unfolded a tortilla. Still, your heart raced as the second mention of Ransom that day had you on edge. Dez watched you build your fajita and you looked up at him.

“Well, since you’ll be in Chicago, maybe I’ll get a few pages done.”

🍼

The call came on Monday, Dez wouldn’t be home that night. You contented yourself to stay in with your laptop and sugar cookies. Still, you barely got a sentence done before you snapped your computer closed and gave up with a frustrated grunt. You slept, not well, and got up with some trouble as your hips ached.

A good morning text from Dez made you smile but there was still no promise of an impending return. You felt pent up in the apartment and lonely as its emptiness reminded you of your absent husband. Too tense to sit down and type, you opted to go for a walk, hoping it would calm your nerves.

You walked past the shop windows and stopped to peek in at used books and handmade candles. You had no destination in mind, only a restless step. There was a little store at the corner with locally made quilts and knitted sweaters. The smell of potpourri wafted out from beneath the painted door and made your throat tickle. Even so, your curiosity drew you inside.

A small woman greeted you from behind the desk. She held two needles as she crocheted some indistinguishable craft. You smiled and said hello as you headed down the centre aisle. You looked along the racks of quilts, floral, striped, plaid, and polka dot. You stopped at a bright yellow piece with honey bees along the border. You hadn’t thought of yellow for the nursery.

You felt the soft fabric and checked the tag. You lifted the quilt from the bar, content that it was worth it and a great motivator. You stopped before you could turn back, a familiar voice chilled your blood.

“It’s cute,” Ransom said as he stepped up next to you, “kinda girly for a boy though.”

You glanced over at him and folded the blanket over your arm. You backed up but as you turned he did too. He blocked your bath as he stretched his arm across the aisle.

“My mother told me you were expecting,” he said, “and she was right, you look good.”

“What do you want?” you whispered as you clutched the quilt.

“Nothing, just saying hello,” his mouth slanted.

“Hugh, I’m not stupid,” you hissed, “it’s been five years.”

“Hugh,” he repeated dully, “you remember your manners.”

“Leave me alone and let me past,” you tried to duck under his arm but he shifted his body over and backed you up to the end of the aisle.

“And married,” he taunted.

“He’s outside,” you lied, “if I stay too long--”

“I didn’t see him when you walked up,” he intoned, “he must be easy to miss.”

“Have you been following me?” you uttered.

“Only from the cafe,” he shrugged, “short walk.”

“Please, get away from me,” you quivered.

“I’m not doing anything--”

“You know exactly what you’re doing,” you hissed, “now I will scream so move.”

“Mama Bear,” he crooned, “I love it, you’re so protective.”

“Hugh,” you warned.

“Sweetie,” he hummed.

You shoved his shoulder but he didn’t move. You hit him harder and he winced. He chuckled and stood straight. He waved his arm down the aisle and stepped aside.

“Don’t make a scene,” he said, “you always did like to be dramatic.”

“Fuck you,” you snarled, “don’t come near me again.”

“Don’t act like you don’t miss me,” he called after you as you dropped the quilt on the counter, “we were so good together.”

You left without buying, a shrill apology to the lady at the counter as you went as fast as you could out the door. The bell tinkled after you and the door clamored shut. You felt nauseous and dizzy. The last thing you wanted or needed was to ever see that man again.

[supernatural-fangirl1967]

Keeping Secrets - Part 2

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Little Angst, FLUFF

Word Count: 4,500

Square Filled: Free Space

A/N: This is Part 2 of Keeping Secrets. This was written for @spnfluffbingo​. Please let me know what you think!

Part 1

“Mommy,” Abby whispers as she pokes at your face with her little fingers. “Mommy.”

“What?” you laugh as you crack an eye open to look at her.

“Daddy’s going to take me to school today!” she says excitedly.

“I know that, baby,” you laugh as you pull her down into your arms. Abby squeals out as she tries to squirm out of your grasp, but sighs in defeat when you only tighten your arms around her little wiggly body.

“Mommy.”

“Abby, honey, I love you but are getting on Mommy’s nerves right now.”

“I do that a lot,” Abby giggles, causing you to not be able to hold in your smile anymore.

“I get that you’re excited and everything, but you can sleep a couple more hours you know.”

“I know,” Abby says as he lays her little head over onto your shoulder. “But I don’t want to.”

“Well, then can you let me sleep some more?”

“But I will get bored if you’re not talking to me and fall asleep anyways.”

“Well, if you’re that tired then maybe you need to go to sleep anyways.”

“But I don’t want to go to sleep right now.”

“Maybe you need to.”

“But I don’t want to.”

“Abby,” you sigh. She giggles loudly before finally wiggling out of your arms and crawling down underneath the blankets. “Where’d Abby go?”

“Here, Momma!” Abby giggles as her little head pops up beside of yours. She giggles as she lays her little head down onto the pillow beside of yours. “I’m going to lay right here beside of you, Mommy, and neither of us are going to sleep,” she says.

“Okay,” you laugh. Abby’s the first one to fall asleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No, Mommy, not that one,” Abby sighs as you help her put her shirt on.

“And why not?” you ask her softly.

“Because I don’t know,” Abby shrugs.

“Well, do you want to wear a dress instead?”

“Okay,” she smiles.

“Alright, but you’ve gotta wear shorts underneath it.”

“Why?”

“Because Mommy said so.”

“But why did you?”

“Abby,” you laugh.

“Dresses aren’t pretty when you wear shorts under them.”

“Honey, nobody is going to know that you’re wearing shorts.”

“Then why do I have to wear them?”

You sigh as you bend down to Abby’s height. “Honey, you need them for when you go outside to play.”

“But I don’t want to wear them.”

The doorbell rings and Abby smiles when you look at her. “I’m going to go answer that while you pick out what to wear. I don’t care what you pick out but you are going to wear whatever is laying on that bed when I walk in here. Understand?”

“Yes, Mommy,” Abby says as she smiles all innocently at you as if she hasn’t been trying your patience all morning. You can’t help but to smile a bit at her before you turn to walk out into the hallway and towards the front door. You open it and your heart flutters when your eyes land on Dean standing there on your front porch.

“Hi,” you smile.

“Hi,” Dean says as you move out of the doorway so that he can walk into the house.

“Abby’s in her room primping,” you say and Dean chuckles a bit. “She’s excited.”

“Yeah, well, thanks for letting me pick her up this morning,” Dean tells you.

“Dean, you don’t have to thank me for this,” you tell him softly. “She’s your daughter too and you should know that we’re both thrilled that you want something to do with her.”

“Of course I do,” Dean smiles widely at you.

“Mommy! I don’t want to wear the shorts!” Abby hollers from her room.

Dean chuckles as you roll your eyes. “I take it that someone’s in a bit of a mood this morning.”

“Well, we’ve already conquered about a dozen ‘but why’s’ wince she woke up so I say that your ride to school should be fun.”

“Looking forward to it,” Dean smiles.

“Make yourself comfortable,” you tell him as you turn to walk down the hallway.

“Mommy!”

“Abby, honey, I’m right here,” you laugh as you walk into her room.

“I don’t want to wear the shorts.”

“Well, then you can’t wear the dress so pick something else out.”

Abby huffs as she crosses her arms at you.

“Abby, your Dad is in the living room to take you to school. He doesn’t have all day for you to throw a temper tantrum.”

“I’m not,” Abby whines as she wipes at her eyes with both of her little fists.

“Hey, what’s wrong, babygirl?” you ask her. “I thought that you were excited about Daddy taking you to school today.”

“I am,” she says softly. “But I want to be pretty so that Daddy will like me.”

“Abby,” you sigh. “First of all you are beautiful no matter what you wear.”

“You promise?” Abby sniffs.

“I promise, baby,” you tell her softly. “And Daddy already loves you.”

Abby’s little eyes widen at the thought. “Did he say that?”

“He doesn’t have to,” you tell her.

“Everything okay in here?”

You turn to look over your shoulder at Dean and Abby takes off running over towards him. “Daddy!”

Dean smiles widely at the name as Abby jumps up into his arms. “Hey, what’s with the tears?” Dean asks her softly as he tries to wipe them away with his thumb on his free hand.

“We’re having a bit of a meltdown deciding what to wear,” you tell him as Abby clings tightly onto him.

“Mommy said that if I wear a dress then I have to wear shorts.”

“Well, sweetheart, that’s probably a good idea for when you’re on the playground.”

“Thank you,” you say and you give Abby a look.

“But I don’t want to wear shorts with my dress,” Abby argues.

“Well, what if Momma packs you up some clothes to put on for recess?” Dean asks her. “That way you can still wear your dress but without the shorts.”

Abby gasps as she looks over at you. “Mommy, can I?”

“Yes, baby,” you smile softly at her. “I think that that will be okay.”

Dean smiles as he puts Abby down so that she can run over to you. He looks up at you before grimacing a bit. “I hope that I didn’t do or say anything that I shouldn’t have.”

“You didn’t, Dean,” you tell him truthfully. “You’re her dad and I want you to have as much right to her as I do.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t trying to overrule you or anything.”

“I know that, Dean,” you tell him softly. “Honestly, I wasn’t thinking about compromising with her like that.”

“Mommy,” Abby huffs. “I need your help.”

“Sorry, baby,” you laugh before walking over to her to help her with her clothes.

“I’ll leave you girls alone,” Dean says as he turns to walk out of Abby’s room.

“Mommy,” Abby says as she looks up at you, “I like Daddy.”

Your heart melts as you pull out a few of her dresses. “I’m glad you do, baby,” you tell her. “I think that Daddy also likes you.”

“I think he does too,” Abby giggles.

“Which dress, sweetie?”

“I want my sunflowers.”

You smile as you hand Abby the simple, white and yellow dress before hanging the others up. You help her with her clothes before grabbing her a pair of shoes out from underneath the small bed.

“Can you get these on while I go talk to Daddy?” you ask her. Abby nods and gives you a small smile before you turn to walk out of her room.

Dean looks over at you as you walk into the living room, and you try not to look too tired as you walk over towards him.

“Abby keep you up?” he asks you.

“Yeah,” you laugh as you take a seat beside of him on the couch. “She’s excited.”

“Good,” Dean smiles. “I had a talk with the principal about Abby being in my class still.”

“What did he say?” you ask him.

“That it’s okay as long as it doesn’t start effecting either of us,” Dean tells you. “(Y/N), I cannot thank you enough for telling me about Abby and letting me be a part of her life.”

“I’ve already told you, Dean, you do not have to thank me for that,” you tell him softly. “It’s my fault that you weren’t able to know her for her first five years.”

“Stop,” Dean tells you softly. “We’ve talked about this, sweetheart. I was nowhere near responsible enough to help you take care of a baby.”

“Yeah,” you breathe out. “That’s what I thought about myself until Abby was born. But then the doctor placed her into my arms and I knew then that somehow everything was going to be okay.”

Dean takes a deep breath. “You think that I can do this then?” he asks you. “Be a good Dad towards her while also trying to make up for five years of not being there?”

“And who’s fault is that?” you ask him. “It’s mine, Dean. You don’t have to make it up to her. I do. And as far as being a good dad towards Abby, Dean, that kid already absolutely loves you so I say that you’re doing a pretty good job. It took her three weeks before she stopped looking at me like she hated me for taking her away from her small, warm home.”

Dean chuckles as he looks over at you. He opens his mouth to say something, but Abby runs into the room before he can speak.

“Okay, Daddy, we can go,” she tells him.

“Okay,” Dean says, trying to hide his smile as you both stand up off of the couch. “But, uh, where’s your backpack at, sweetheart?”

Abby huffs before she turns to run down the hallway to her room. You try not to laugh at her but the smile on your face fades when your eyes meet Dean’s. He looks away and you can feel a small blush spreading across your cheeks.

“Alright, baby,” you say and you kneel down to Abby’s height. “Be good for Daddy, okay?”

“I will Momma,” Abby says as you give her a kiss. Dean reaches down to take Abby’s hand and he gives you a small smile before he walks through the front door with her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’ve just shut your eyes when your phone goes off. Sighing, you lean over to grab it off of the coffee table to answer it.

“Hello?”

“She hates me.”

“Dean?” you laugh.

“Abby hates me,” Dean says. You try not to laugh at how panicked he sounds right now.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know,” he sighs. “She’s been sitting out in the hallway for almost an hour crying. “I’m trying to get her out to the car but she won’t budge. I don’t know what to do with her.”

“Okay,” you smile as you stand up off of the couch. “Do you need me to see if I can help?”

“Please,” Dean sighs. “I thought that she’d be running out those doors when school was over but she’s not stopped crying and it is breaking my heart.”

“I know,” you frown. “But, Dean, she doesn’t hate you and you have got to quit blaming yourself for everything, okay? She’s upset about something so why don’t you try and talk to her about it and I will be there in five minutes, okay?”

“Okay,” Dean sighs before he hangs up the phone. You grab your keys off of the coffee table before walking over towards the front door.

Your heart breaks when you find Abby sitting in the hallway outside of Dean’s classroom with her head in her little hands. You’re able to hear her sobs from where you’re standing and you can feel your eyes welling up with their own tears.

“Babygirl?”

Abby looks at you when she hears your voice and lets out a sob as she reaches up at you to take her.

“What happened, Abby?” you ask her as you take a seat on the floor beside of her before pulling her over onto your lap.

“Daddy doesn’t want me,” Abby whines as she turns her head to hide her face in your shoulder.

“Why do you think that?” you ask her as you tighten both of your arms around her.

“Because he made me go to another class,” Abby says as she pulls away to look at you with sad eyes. “He doesn’t want to be my teacher now.”

“Oh, honey, I’m sure that there was some kind of misunderstanding.”

“No,” Abby tells you. “He made me go to another room because he doesn’t love me.”

“Hey, I will go talk to him and you try to calm down, okay?”

“Okay,” Abby sniffs as she crawls out of your lap to sit down on the floor once more. You give her a sad smile as you stand up before turning to walk into the room.

Dean looks over when he hears the door open, and he sulks a bit when he sees the look that you’re giving him.

“Huh-oh,” he says. “You’re mad at me too aren’t you?”

“Care to tell me why my daughter is sitting out in the hallway by herself crying?” you ask him as you walk over towards his desk where he’s sitting.

Dean gives you a look. “Uh, I thought that you said that she’s our daughter.”

“Not when you break her heart like that.”

“Like what?” Dean asks you. “What did I do that has got you both so upset with me?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me,” you tell Dean as you cross your arms at him. “Abby told me that you don’t want her here in your class, and honestly I don’t know what the problem is because…”

“Okay. Okay,” Dean says as he stands up out of his chair and holds both of his hands up at you. “Listen, sweetheart, Abby got things a little mixed up. I want her here. I do. More than anything. And I was told that I could be her teacher still as long as it didn’t effect anything, but it did. Five minutes in and I could already tell that I was favoring Abby. As understandable as it is since she’s my daughter, I can’t do that with fourteen other kids in the room. It isn’t fair to me because I have to not be partial to her because she’s my daughter, but I can’t be tougher on her than I am the other students because of it either. It isn’t fair to Abby because she’s not learning anything if I’m taking it easy on her. It certainly isn’t fair to the other students so I went to the principal and asked about having Abby moved to another room. So, after lunch, me and another teacher switched kids. I didn’t know that Abby was going to take it this way, though, and I am sorry about that but I tried to explain it to her but she won’t listen to me.”

“Dean,” you sigh as you hide your face in your hands. “Why didn’t you explain this to her before you had her switch classrooms?”

“Because we had to go from lunch straight to teaching and I didn’t have time to sit down with her and try to explain it to her.”

“Dean, she went the whole day thinking that you don’t want her.”

Dean’s heart shatters. “That’s why she’s so upset?”

“Yeah,” you tell Dean and you nod your head a bit at him. “Abby said that you don’t want to be her teacher anymore and that you don’t love her.” Dean’s face falls. “Now, while I know that that’s not true…”

“Of course it isn’t,” Dean says as he runs over to and out the door. Abby looks up when she hears Dean walk out into the hallway, and he kneels down in front of her as she gives him an uncertain look. “Hey, I think that me and you had a bit of a misunderstanding, sweetheart,” Dean says softly. “Listen to me, I did not let you go to another classroom because I don’t want you in there with me or because I don’t love you, okay? Abby, how would you feel if someone else was your teacher and they paid more attention to one student then they do to you and the other kids?”

“I’d feel bad,” Abby sniffs.

“Well, sweetheart, with you being in my class I wanted to take it easier on you then the others but that wasn’t fair to them.”

“So you made me go to another class because you like me the most and didn’t want to hurt the other kids’ feelings?”

Dean chuckles as he nods his head a bit at her. “Something like that,” he smiles.

“You do love me, Daddy?”

“Of course I love you,” Dean tells Abby as he picks her up and sets her down on his knee. “You wanna know how much I love you?”

“Yeah,” Abby sniffs as she wipes at her eyes with her little hands. Dean holds tightly onto her with one arm and he uses his free hand to pull hers away from her face. He uses his thumb to gently wipe the tears off of Abby’s cheeks before he begins talking to her once more.

“I love you so much that when Momma told me about you, I went home and I fixed up a room all for you.”

“Really?” Abby gasps as her little eyes widen. Your heart melts at Dean’s words because you didn’t know about that.

“Really,” Dean smiles widely before he presses his lips to Abby’s little forehead. “I want you, sweetheart.” Abby smiles widely as she wraps her short arms tightly around Dean’s neck. “I love you, babygirl,” Dean says as he presses a kiss to Abby’s head.

“I love you too, Daddy,” Abby says as she relaxes a bit in Dean’s hold. Dean can’t help the tears that well up in his eyes at those words. “But I want you to be my teacher still.”

Dean chuckles as he tightens his hold on her. “I will see what I can do about that, baby.” He looks at you and you give him a small smile. “Are we okay now?” Dean asks Abby and yet you know that he’s also asking you.

You smile and you nod your head a bit at him as Abby speaks up. “Yeah, Daddy,” she tells him. “We’re okay now.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, you never told me that you had set up a room for Abby at your house,” you tell Dean as he walks with you towards your car.

He takes a deep breath. “I didn’t know if I should even mention it then because I don’t know what you think about her staying with me for more than a couple hours after school or something. I just got so overwhelmed when I found out that I have a five year old kid and I… I thought that it was the dad thing to do.”

“That was a very dad thing to do,” you laugh softly. “And I think that it would be good idea for Abby to get used to staying with you if that’s what you want.”

“It is,” Dean nods.

You take a deep breath. “Well, then, maybe Abby could stay with you a few nights and then if everything goes well, I think that we should sit down and have a talk.”

“A talk?” Dean asks you as he turns a bit to give you a look.

“Yeah,” you breathe out. “A talk. About who gets her what days and which weeks…”

“Woah, woah, woah!” Dean says as he turns to take both of your shoulders in his hands. You stop walking and look into his eyes. “You’re talking about joint custody here.”

“Well, yeah,” you tell him. “I don’t know how all the legal stuff is supposed to go with a situation like this, but I don’t want some kind of long, ugly custody battle. I want us to talk about everything and I want all decision to be mutual. I want you to have as much right to Abby as I do. I mean if that’s what you want.”

Dean swallows hard as he nods his head a bit at you. “Of course it is,” he chokes out as tears well up in his eyes. “But you’ve gotta tell me if it’s what you want too.”

“I wouldn’t have said anything if it wasn’t,” you tell him truthfully. “It’s what’s right for Abby. I’ve kept her away from you long enough.”

“(Y/N), please stop being so tough on yourself for that, okay?” Dean tells you. “I know about her now and that is all that matters. I told you that I don’t blame you for not telling me.”

“Yeah, well, I blame myself,” you tell him softly. “Whenever I thought that it would have been nice to have you there with me, I had to remind myself that it was my fault. It was my fault that you weren’t there to help me and that you weren’t there for Abby when she needed her daddy. It’s my fault that I had to do everything on my own.”

“What about your parents?”

“They weren’t exactly thrilled,” you tell him. “I think it was less that I was pregnant and more the fact that you were the father.”

Dean gives you a look. “I thought that your parents liked me.”

“Oh no, Dad hated you.” Dean chuckles as you smile at him. “When they found out that I was pregnant they begged me not to tell you because I had already ruined my life and they didn’t want me to ruin yours too.”

“Knowing that you were pregnant wouldn’t have ruined my life,” Dean tells you softly.

“I know,” you tell him as tears well up in your eyes. “I shouldn’t have listened to them but I was scared and they told me that they wouldn’t help me if I told you. I couldn’t risk telling you and you hating me, which I didn’t think was going to happen, but I had to go with the safe decision that wound up not being so safe because Mom and Dad disowned me.”

“Why?” Dean asks you.

“We had different thoughts on how Abby should grow up,” you tell him. “They wanted to be her parents and then fuss at me because they said that I was throwing my responsibility off on them even though they were making me let them take over our lives. So I took Abby and I made a home for us all by myself. Now here we are.”

Dean huffs out a laugh. “You’ve done everything by yourself and you’ve done such a great job with Abby, now you’ve lost your job because you were trying to be a good mother for her and I… (Y/N), how are you staying sane after dealing with all of that?”

You smile a bit as you look over at Abby who’s playing in the empty parking lot. “Right there,” you tell him. “That little girl keeps me sane and she’s literally the only reason why I’m fighting so hard. If it were only me I’d probably give up.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Dean tells you as he looks you in the eyes.

“That’s why I want you to have rights to her because I want you to have what I have,” you tell him. “I want you to have someone to make you feel better when you’re at your lowest. I meant it when I said that I probably wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Abby. She’s my everything.” Dean smiles softly as he looks over at Abby. “You know, you used to be that for me,” you tell him softly. Dean turns his head and he gives you a look. “You used to be my rock and my safe place. You used to make everything better when I was down. And then Abby happened and I listened to my parents and I felt like I couldn’t lean on you after what I did to you.”

“(Y/N),” Dean says softly as he gently grabs onto both of your arms. “I’m here for whatever you might need, okay? I mean it. You need to talk, you need help with Abby, I want you to know that you can and I want you to call me.”

“Thank you, Dean,” you breathe out as you try and blink away the tears. “That means a lot.”

“Mommy, I’m hungry!” Abby hollers as she runs over to you.

“Okay,” you laugh as you bend down to pick her up.

“I want Daddy to put me in my carseat,” Abby says as she reaches out towards Dean.

“Alright then,” you laugh as you hand her over to Dean. He walks over towards your car and you open up the door so that Dean can put her in.

“You be good for Momma,” Dean tells Abby as he presses his lips to her forehead.

“I will, Daddy,” Abby giggles as she brings both of her little hands up to Dean’s cheeks. “I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart,” Dean tells her as he rubs his nose against hers. You hear Abby’s sweet giggles as Dean pulls away to shut the door. He turns to look at you and you give him a soft smile. “I’ll pick her up tomorrow and hopefully you won’t have to drop by to bail me out of my mistakes.”

“Well, you know my number if you need me,” you tell him.

“Yeah,” Dean smiles.

“Hey, I’m sorry that I walked into your room all mad and everything without asking you what actually happened.”

“It’s okay,” Dean tells you. “Honestly, if I thought that someone had broken that little girl’s heart then I’d want to hurt them too.”

“Good to know,” you laugh. “I mean it, Dean. It’s good to know that you’re protective over Abby too.”

“Can’t help it,” Dean shrugs. “I love her and you should know that I mean those words with everything in me.”

“I know you do, Dean.”

He smiles softly at you. “I’ll see you girls tomorrow.”

“Okay,” you say and you turn to get in your car. You have your hand on the door handle when you hear Dean’s voice.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Dean says, causing you to turn around to look at him once more. “Do you think that I could maybe get Abby for a few hours Saturday?”

“I’ll make you an even better deal,” you tell him. “You could take her home with you Friday after school and she can stay all night with you if you want her to.”

“Yeah,” Dean smiles widely. “I’d love that.”

Tags: @polina-93 @campingmonkey @justanotherwinchester @squirrelnotsam @adoptdontshoppets @imaginationisgrowth @deanwanddamons @hobby27 @cookiechipdough @akshi8278

[oscars-wifeyyy]

Chapter 10 (The Innocent)

It's officially the day of Olivia's quince and Monse, Ruby, and Elizabeth were handing out programs to people in the church.

"Bless you," Ruby said to a person entering, "can you believe we were here only a few hours ago?"

"When there was hope," Monse said.

"Oh, my God!" Ruby said, but saw the pastor next to him, "I mean goodness. Seriously?"

"What?" Elizabeth asked as she handed a couple a program.

"There is a typo in the program. 'Their' is spelled with an e-r-e instead of e-i-r. Only e-i-r shows possession,"

"Really?" Monse glared at Ruby, "you think this is a time to grammar troll?"

"Jamal was supposed to double check before they were printed," Ruby stressed.

"Add it to the list. He's a loser," Monse rolled her eyes.

"Hey! I know you're mad, but try to temper the 'tude today," Ruby advised Monse, "be cool when Jamal gets here,"

"He's not coming. We're better for it," Monse spat.

"What about Olivia?" Ruby asked, "Cesar probably won't show either,"

"We don't know that," Monse insisted.

"He just killed someone," Ruby hissed at their friend.

"We don't know that for sure," Monse still insisted.

"Monse..." Elizabeth trailed off, "we know,"

Olivia and Jasmine emerged from the back with Jasmine looking very sickly and pale while Olivia looked like she just wanted to get away from Jasmine. However, Jasmine started coughing and got closer to Ruby and started almost leaning on him.

"Lover, can I borrow your pocket square?" Jasmine held out her hand.

"Use your hand!" Ruby freaked out, moving to stand next to Monse.

"I think you need to go back inside, Jas," Elizabeth said.

"But away from me," Olivia quickly said.

"Then where should I go?" Jasmine asked.

"Daycare center," Ruby said, but everyone just looked at him, "what? Babies are always sick,"

Olivia sighed, "have you seen Cesar?"

"Not yet. But you know Cesar, dude takes forever to primp. I bet he's on his way," Monse smiled at the newly 15 year old girl.

"Olivia, let's go back inside and get ready," Elizabeth walked away with Olivia in attempt to distract her, "you look beautiful,"

"Thank you," Olivia smiled, "you too,"

"Gracias. Now I gotta go ask someone something. Be back soon," Elizabeth walked back out to see Cesar with his head shaved, "hey, baldy. Nice of you to finally show up,"

After a long ceremony, it was finally time for people to talk to the princess and get pictures in. Ruby, Monse, Cesar, and Elizabeth went up to Olivia as Cesar kissed her cheek.

"Hey, you looked incredible out there," Cesar smiled at his girlfriend.

"That's good because my knees are wrecked. Kneeling for an hour is not a blessing," Olivia joked.

"But you are blessed," Elizabeth walked back to Ruby and Monse to give the couple their space. Olivia walked away after a while to talk to a few more guests while Cesar went back to their friends.

"It was a nice ceremony," Ruby said, trying to fill in the awkward silence.

"Yeah," Cesar nodded.

"You didn't kill him," Monse stared at her crush.

"Monse!" Elizabeth looked at her friend incredulously.

"He's not dead, but...he's gone," Cesar nodded.

"What does that mean?" Monse asked.

"He ran, Mon," Elizabeth filled in the blank.

"C'mon, Ruby. Help your dad pack the car. Come on!" Geny walked by with the twins.

Ruby's dad just looked at Ruby, "I do need help," Geny left the church, "with your mother. Not the car,"

"Give me a minute," Ruby said as his dad left.

"If Latrelle's dead, doesn't that make you vulnerable?" Monse asked.

"It's handled and we never talk about it again," Cesar said, "now this is Olivia's day, and if I were you, I'd be more worried about those dance steps,"

"Ruby!" Geny poked her head inside, "por favor!"

"I'll see you guys back at the house," Ruby rushed outside.

Everyone was now at Ruby's house getting the party started in the backyard as Ruby got the damas and chambelanes ready. Abuelita came inside with a few of her friends with food and went to Ruby.

"Mijo, where are we gonna set up the buffet?"

"On the tables in the back," Ruby smiled.

"But they're not there," Abuelita informed.

"What? Well who moved them?" Ruby became irritated.

"A guy told me he needed them," Cesar stood up.

"It was the fireworks guy," Monse interjected.

Olivia gasped, "we're having fireworks?"

"Thank you. Thank you everyone for spoiling the surprise," Ruby sarcastically smiled, "yes. Fireworks at 9:30,"

"Someone get his panties out of a bunch," Abuelita looked at the group.

"Nothing is spoiled," Olivia walked to Ruby.

"Oh, no, we're just down two dames and a chambelan. Thank you, Eli," Ruby rolled his eyes, "and one of your surprises is ruined,"

"One of my surprises?"

Elizabeth couldn't take the stress Ruby was creating for himself so she went out to the porch in her yellow dress, sitting on the steps. She had her legs together and looked up at the night sky, hearing a little of her friends' conversation, "D to C numbers? Is that dick to coochie..." Monse started.

"Get your head out of the gutter!" Ruby exclaimed, "dames to chambelanes,"

"Princesa," a familiar voice called.

Elizabeth stood up and saw Oscar at the gate, "you came,"

"Of course, Eli," Oscar smiled.

"And you dressed up?" Elizabeth smiled at the dickies pants and button up he had on, "you look as handsome as ever,"

The two went to the backyard as the dance started and watched, clapping at the end. Elizabeth left Oscar's side to congratulate the group at not failing the dance to see Olivia's hair falling so she nudged Monse to help her. The two girls walked away and during the time they were away, Ruby was looking at a phone. Suddenly, he walked to the girls and pulled Olivia away to go inside so Elizabeth left Monse and Cesar alone to go back to Oscar, standing in front of him.

"Everything is falling into place," Elizabeth smiled at the sight before her.

"I'm glad," Oscar kissed Elizabeth's cheek, "as long as you're happy,"

Soon the group pulled Elizabeth to dance with them, she tried to pull Oscar, but he denied and stood back to watch her. Her beauty still struck him as he stared, dazed at the sight of her laughing and smiling with her friends. Minutes went by when Elizabeth had seen a hooded figure walk through the crowd and she got a bad feeling so she played it off by moving to the side closer to the figure. She had seen the glare of the gun the same time that Ruby had seen it so Ruby yelled Cesar's name to warn him, but Elizabeth pushed Olivia and Ruby down on the ground when the bullet pierced into her back.

Screams were heard as the bullet went through Elizabeth and grazed Ruby on the arm. Oscar's worst nightmares had come to life when he saw Elizabeth fall down with the blood spreading through her yellow dress.

"Princesa! Princesa!" Oscar yelled as he pushed people and sank to his knees to hold onto his girlfriend, "call 911! Ay, Dios mio. Baby, come on keep your eyes open. Let me see your beautiful eyes,"

"Eli!" Ruby yelled as blood ran down his arm and his mother was yelling.

Elizabeth couldn't do anything except try to catch her breath and stare at Oscar, but she had so much to say to him, "I-I love y-y-you,"

"Por qué? Why did you have to put yourself in front?! te quiero también," Oscar had tears going down his face as her eyes started closing, "No. Mi amor, open your eyes!"

Everyone started crying at the sight of the usually emotionless leader leaning over the body of his girlfriend as paramedics went to take her to the hospital. Once they took her, Oscar stood up with his clothes stained in his girlfriend's blood and started making his way towards Cesar.

"Oscar, I'm sor-," Cesar got cut off by the fist of his older brother.

"Latrelle was supposed to be dead!" Oscar yelled, "you were supposed to shoot! Now look! Elizabeth is going to the hospital for a gunshot that was supposed to be for Latrelle,"

"I'm sorry!" Cesar yelled.

"Sorry ain't gonna cut it, Cesar," Oscar's voice changed to Spooky, "don't come home,"

"What?" Cesar asked, "Oscar, please don't do this,"

His words fell on deaf ears as Oscar ran to his car and sped to the hospital, running inside after throwing his car in park. He ran inside, but when he got to the waiting room he saw Leticia sobbing so he slowly went up to her. Leticia felt a presence so she looked up to see Oscar with tear stained cheeks, she did the only thing that came to her mind. She wrapped her arms around him as the two cried for the tragedy that hit their loved on.

As time ticked, Ruby got patched up as Monse, Cesar, Ruby, Olivia, and Jamal waited with Oscar and Leticia to update. Hours went by as anxiety levels grew and the doors opened with a doctor coming though.

"Elizabeth Hernandes?" the doctor called as everyone stood, "she is stable, but put in an induced coma so her body can heal,"

"How long?" Oscar crossed his arms.

"Week until she's up," the doctor cleared his throat, "she can have visitors, but two at a time,"

"Mrs. Hernandes, is it possible if I can go in with you?" Oscar asked.

"Of course, mijo. Call me ma," Leticia gave a sad smile to the man, "I have a feeling you guys are gonna last,"

Oscar smiled softly at the future that could happen with the girl that lay on a hospital bed. The way her nose crinkles when he kisses it and scrunches up when she sees something nasty to the way she instinctively curls up to him when she falls asleep. All of her good and bad things still keeps him absolutely entranced whenever she walks into a room. His thoughts came to a pause when he caught sight of her usually tan skin being pale, her torso bandaged up, and all the IVs that are hooked up to her. All he could really think is how he didn't tell her he loved her before and now they're in a hospital.

Moments passed and Oscar couldn't stand the sight of his princesa looking so helpless as he ran out of the room and into the waiting room, tears encased in his eyes. His hands went behind his head, trying to get as much air in until Sad Eyes came in with Rico and Lorca. When he set his eyes on them, tears started coming out on all four cholos.

"What's going on?" Rico sniffled.

"She's stable, but had to be in an induced coma," Oscar sat down, "fuck, what if she doesn't make it? Ella es mi número uno, manos,"

"Yo sé, Spooky. She's gonna pull through, homie," Lorca cleared his throat.

Leticia went up to the cholos, "Oscar, can you introduce me? Assuming they know my daughter,"

"Sí," Oscar wiped his tears, "this is Julian Guzman, Ricardo Cardenas, and Vincent Gomez,"

"Hola, would you guys like to have dinner with me tonight? I want to gather all of her friends together," Leticia smiled at the four men.

"Sí, señora Hernandes," all 4 men chorused, "gracías,"

"Meet in two hours and, Oscar, go to tu casa y take a shower and clean up, mijo," Leticia instructed.

"Sí, ma, pero you don't have to make dinner," Oscar said, "get carry out at any restaurant," Oscar handed her two hundred, "get food and then rest,"

"Gracías, Oscar," Leticia put a hand on his cheek, "I'm glad Eli found you. You and your friends can stay the night too, I don't want you guys out this late,"

A week passed and Elizabeth can wake up any day now so after every run, every shift, and every school day, everyone was there, waiting. It was Sunday and the start of December, everyone was there talking until Oscar, who sat by her side, saw her hand twitch. He stared a little longer at her hand to make sure so when he saw it twitch again so he stood up fast, making the chair fall.

"Bebe!" Oscar grabbed Elizabeth's hand, "c'mon, open your eyes,"

Everyone stopped talking and looked at the girl with anticipation.

"'S-sup, fool?" Elizabeth croaked, "agua,"

Ruby grabbed the cup with his good hand and went to her side to put the straw in her mouth, letting her drink and rehydrate.

"How are you, Ruby? Olivia?" Elizabeth looked at them worried.

"Eli, we are fine! You need to worry about you," Olivia chuckled.

Oscar cleared his throat, "get out. I need to talk to her," Elizabeth hit Oscar as he rolled his eyes, ú"por favor," everyone filed out as Oscar picked up the chair and sat down next to the girl that made him feel normal, "hey, hermosa. I didn't get to tell you this while you were conscious, but I l-love you,"

"Big bad leader loves lil ol' me?" Elizabeth teased, "I love you too, bebe,"

The two smiled big as the door opened again, revealing a doctor and Eliabeth's mother and father.

"Papa?" Elizabeth teared up.

"Mi amor, how are you feeling?" Armando Hernandes asked.

"Good," Elizabeth cleared her throat, "how are you? Are you feeling better?"

"Muy buen not that you're ok. I hear you got a novio," Armando saw Oscar, "es tú novio, Eli?"

"Sí, papa," Elizabeth grinned.

"Hola, señor," Oscar shook Armando's hand, "me llamo Oscar,"

"Hola, Oscar. Me llamo Armando. I hear you love my daughter, yes? You would do anything for her?"

"Sí. Even if it means dying for her," Oscar grasped Elizabeth's hand.

"Good. there is something about you that I trust pero if you make her shed one tear, I am gonna shoot you,"

"Papa," Elizabeth groaned.

"Qué?" Armando asked, "it's true,"

"Alright," the doctor stepped in, "Elizabeth, looks like you can go, but you have to have light exercises and check up is next month,"

"Ok. See you next month," Elizabeth grinned.

[howdoyousleep3]

but.. senator steve is friends with bucky’s dad that’s how he got the internship in the first place... and when steve comes over for diner one night him and bucky’s dad smokes a cigar on the other room while bucky watches them talking about politics and all that blushing when steve catches him staring.. then when he excuses himself to go to bed an hour later steve’s coming in a lil’ tipsy smelling like smoke and whisky and man and bucky lets steve fuck him in his room that is next to his parents

I am so fucked up over this idea still, keep them coming. To clarify, Bucky is in college and still lives at home and as the second request sent in said “idk i’m not rich LMAOOOOOO “. It’s long and I cut this down and it’s still long and I tried so hard to not make it a blown out story but oh well that’s me I guess. 😘😘😘

Edited to add in the OG first post. :))

Senator Steve and Intern Bucky OG Post

“Keep that door’a yours unlocked, sugar. Be good and tuck yourself in and wait for Daddy.”

Bucky’s fingers curl into fists at his sides, form trembling all over, wills his aching erection to go away. He shouldn’t be turned on, should be horrified an older man, a Senator, has promised to sneak into his room after having a nice dinner with his entire fucking family. That after drinks and dinner and conversation, laughs and compliments and small-talk, Senator Rogers pressed up tight against Bucky’s back and whispered those words into his ear, squeezing his hip and walking into the drawing room to smoke a cigar with Bucky’s own father.

This was the most scandalous thing Bucky’s ever heard of.

But it’s also something that has made him so fucking hot it’s downright embarrassing.

Bucky had thought he was having a heart attack when his mother told him they’d be having the Senator over just an hour before him showing up. He found himself excusing himself to go shower and primp, not even realizing why he was doing what he was doing, in total denial at his rising heartrate and his desire to look good for the older man. By the time Mr. Rogers had showed up, dressed in a casual black sweater and grey slacks and matching grey boots, Bucky was shaking from head to toe.

Aside from one instance of reassurance a week after that night, (a hot open-mouthed kiss pressed against the wall of Mr. Rogers’ office and a whisper of, “You gotta stop worryin’, sweetheart. Got nothin’ to fret over,” because Bucky’s anxieties were apparently transparent as fuck), Bucky hadn’t talked to Mr. Rogers or been physical with him in over two weeks. Between their schedules, the Senator traveling, and Bucky’s school, he had barely seen the older man. For him to show up for dinner, his mother saying they had invited him to thank him for helping Bucky get into this internship program, sent a shock through his system.

And immense amounts of excitement.

It had been almost an hour since they had all parted ways, Bucky to his room and Mr. Rogers to spend some quality time with Bucky’s father, and Bucky was growing impatient. He spent most of their meal unusually quiet, looking down at his food as he cut it into small pieces, ignoring Becca’s inquiring looks, trying his hardest not to blush openly and profusely when he caught eyes with the Senator from across the table.

With the lull of the television and only the light of his lamp sitting on his bedside table, it is easy for the mundane action of scrolling through social media to make him grow sleepy. Combine that with being warm and comfy on top of his blankets and only having his briefs on, it is easy for his eyelids to grow a little too heavy, for him to fall into a light slumber.

Until he hears a hand on his doorknob.

A jiggle, the door opening and closing, the lock clicking and there he is. Senator Rogers.

Standing in Bucky’s fucking bedroom.

It’s all wrong in his head, Mr. Rogers should never be here in his home, let alone his bedroom, yet here he is acting like it’s his as well. The glow from the television lights the older man’s large form up in his dimly lit room and Bucky can’t move, can barely breathe.

Mr. Rogers is such a man, muscly and burly, neatly trimmed beard, broad shoulders. Bucky has felt that strength, has felt it in the way the older man pulled him back on that cock, the way he spun him around, the way he gripped his hips. He suddenly realizes he is practically nude, he’s laying in his bed at home, and here is Steve Rogers, Senator, slipping off his shoes and crawling into Bucky’s bed.

He feels a hand curl around his ankle, feels the bed dip near his knee and Bucky gasps when he is pulled a little, yanked flat on his back as if he were as light as a feather. Whiskey and cigar smoke flood Bucky’s nostrils immediately and he acknowledges it should be a turn-off, should make him want to push Mr. Rogers away, but he loves it. It makes him think of older men and power and success and it makes him feel like a side-piece, a sugar baby, his secret fantasy.

And he loves it.

The erection he had willed away is back and throbbing, surely an angry color, and he gasps again when Mr. Rogers moves to settles between Bucky’s spread thighs, a hot pair of lips on his neck. Mr. Rogers rumbles, a deep noise, and Bucky can tell he may be a little inebriated by the way his lips sloppily yet effectively move from the hinge of his jaw, across his Adam’s apple, to the opposite earlobe, nipping and sucking as he goes.

“Hey, sugar,” the older man murmurs into his ear and Bucky mortifyingly whimpers in response immediately, not realizing how much he had both been affected by their first sexual encounter and alarmingly grown to miss this man. He doesn’t even have a chance to respond verbally, both of the Senator’s capable hands running through his hair, cradling his head in place as his lips come down on his in an immediate open-mouthed kiss.

And fuck that’s nice, more than nice, has Bucky’s movements crippled, just has him laying there trying to keep up. Mr. Rogers’ beard is soft against his jaw and chin, but Bucky knows it could easily leave marks on his sensitive skin over time. His tongue runs along Bucky’s bottom lip before dipping into his mouth, beating against the younger’s own tongue, and then the Senator is fucking his mouth. It’s hot and wet and has Bucky wiggling underneath and against Mr. Rogers pathetically.

“Missed you, baby. This sweet mouth and this sweet little body, those sweet eyes. You miss me, honey? You miss your Daddy?”

Fuck.

“Ohh,” is all Bucky can mewl, rolling his hips up into Mr. Rogers half on purpose, half in sheer reaction, but the older man is pushing a finger tight to Bucky’s lips, shushing him against the skin of his cheek.

“Shh shh shh, gotta be quiet, honey,” he murmurs into his skin, pressing Bucky bodily into the mattress, making him cry out a little more from behind Mr. Rogers’ finger. He’s just such a big man, warm all over, completely blankets Bucky in their size difference.

“Gotta be quiet so your family doesn’t hear, doesn’t wonder where all those pitiful noises are comin’ from. So loud already and I haven’t even put anything inside’a that greedy cunt oh, sugar.” Even though his voice is condescending and making Bucky’s cheeks turn red, Mr. Rogers’ voice is like warm honey, pools at the base of his neck and makes Bucky go a little more boneless into the mattress beneath him, makes his eyelids flutter.

The older man hums, kisses at Bucky’s lips over his finger, moves his other hand down to squeeze at Bucky’s hip, to slide down his thigh to his knee. It makes Bucky realize how compromised of a position he is in, thighs spread wide for a Senator who snuck into his bedroom, fuck.

“Talked to your father tonight,” Mr. Rogers starts and Bucky’s brow creases in a bit of confusion, but his thought process stops short when the hand on his lips moves down to curl around the front of his throat.

Oh.

“Your father wanted to know what your Daddy thought of you, isn’t that somethin’?” And shit, Bucky can’t help it this time, makes a small sob of a noise, Mr. Rogers’ hand tightening around the column of his neck. “He wanted to know how I thought you were doin’, if there were any concerns. Told him how intelligent you are, how you’re one of my hardest-working interns, how tough you are,” Mr. Rogers speaks right into his lips, such sweet words, making Bucky flush all over even more.

It makes him whimper, but his whimper turns into a whine when the older man starts to roll his hips into Bucky, so slow and subtle he barely notices at first, thinks it’s just the throb of his own body. Mr. Rogers lets out a heavy exhale, arguably a soft groan, his lips blazing a hot path down Bucky’s jaw as his hips roll almost hypnotically into the younger man’s. Mr. Rogers feels so good between his legs, spread wide for him, and even clothed Bucky can feel his thick cock against his own, pressing and grinding. 

“Didn’t tell your pops that these fuckin’ lips keep me up at night,” Mr. Rogers leans forward to drag Bucky’s bottom lip between his teeth, squeezes the hand around his throat again, god, “Didn’t tell him that there’s nothin’ better than bein’ stuffed in this sweet little boy cunt.” Bucky makes such a loud noise, a hiccup of a sob that sounds somewhat like “Holy shit,”, his head arching back that Mr. Rogers has no apparent choice but to clamp the hand around his throat up and over his mouth. 

“Bucky, baby you hush now. Daddy wants to give you his cock, wants to feed this hungry cunt and you need to let him take what’s his.” 

What’s his. Yes. Yes, Bucky wants that, wants Daddy to take what is his. That means Bucky is his and Bucky doesn’t think he wants anything more than to be Daddy’s dirty little secret. 

“You want that? You want Daddy to fuck you in your bed while your family is home? Thinkin’ I walked out and left but instead I’m down here sneakin’ into your room to fuck you stupid?” 

Bucky is nodding his head frantically behind Mr. Rogers’ hand even though he should be entirely mortified but he can’t, he can’t say no, could never say no. He wants this, has thought about it every second of every day, is consumed with the thought as the older man presses and rolls and humps on Bucky here in his bed. 

“That’s good, sugar so good. ‘Cause I’ve been thinkin’ about fuckin’ you for weeks, didn’t hear a goddamn thing anybody said at dinner, and I’m gonna make you come on this cock at least two times before I tuck you in and leave.”

Yeah–that’s what Bucky wants. 

YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THIS HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE. Love you send me anything and everything love you love you. 😘😘😘

[ajokeformur-ray]

omg could you write something where reader gets jealous of arthur? love your written btw

anonymous asked: can you please do an imagine with arthur fleck/joker x reader where they’ve been together for awhile but once the reader starts noticing his descend into becoming joker she also notices his new infatuation with sophie? 🖤🦋

IMPLIED NSFW AT END. Swearing. Lighthearted fluff.

Word count: 1, 782 (I am incapable of writing short things omg)

Stop primping honey you’re perfect omgggg

“Hey, Arthur!” 

Arthur stopped mid sentence in telling you about his day to turn and look at Sophie. She was stood at the end of the hall, a friendly smile on her face. The answering smile that lit Arthur’s face was usually the one that he reserved for you; the one that deepened the crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes and made the dimples in his cheeks a little more pronounced.

“Hey!” His eyes dipped as he looked near Sophie’s knee height and the smile on his face widened even further. You felt a stab of jealousy twist in your gut. You did your best to brush it off, to push it down. Arthur was trying to communicate with Sophie. He was shy and awkward and he was doing his best to extend an olive branch in friendship to her. His daily efforts were admirable and his face took on a look of childlike innocence as he gazed at Gigi. “Hi, Gigi!”

Gigi had a nervous look on her round face as she shyly waved at Arthur before her bravado left her and she hid behind Sophie, shuffling backwards.

Sophie laughed, put her hand on Gigi’s head. “Okay, come on, baby. We gotta get you to bed.” Sophie gave you a friendly smile and nodded her goodbye to Arthur before she made her way further down the hall, her heels clicking harshly in the empty corridor; they sounded much louder with no other noise to block them.

You eye rolled as Arthur stood there with the smile frozen on his face. He waited until the door to Sophie’s apartment clicked shut and then he turned, slender fingers tucking some errant strands of hair behind his ears. You let yourself into the apartment, holding the door open for Arthur. You didn’t smile when he brushed his body deliberately against yours as a way of reminding himself that you were still real, still there. You just set about shedding your damp coat, toeing off your shoes, and sorting yourself out.

You barely looked at Arthur. 

At first, he thought nothing of it. Sometimes you liked to be quiet and the peaceful stillness of your bodies and minds that occurred in moments like those were so priceless to Arthur. It reminded him that he didn’t had to try to be or do anything, that he was allowed to simply exist and be and that you were safe together in this cramped but cosy apartment.

It was only when he tried to kiss you on the cheek and you ducked out of the way, still irrationally annoyed, did he realise that something was wrong.

“Y-Y/N?” A crease between his brow. Arthur tilted his head so that he could look you fully in the face, but you refused to meet his eyes. “Did I do something wrong?”

You paused. Took a deep breath. In, out, let it go… Shook your head. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Despite the way you meant to sound comforting, your words came out flat and consequently went unheard by Arthur. He pressed you for information and you knew you had to tell him. There was no getting out of this one.

“Then why can’t I kiss you?” Arthur’s voice was quiet, gentle. The crease in his brow was becoming deeper the more confused he became, and you could tell that he wasn’t allowing himself to feel hurt or rejected until you answered his question. Sometimes miscommunications arose easily between you and both of you made concerted efforts to keep emotions out of the equation until the situation was fully understood. Your relationship had more challenges in it than most, but fuck did you fight hard for what you had painstakingly built together.

You were tempted to kiss Arthur in that moment to show that he could kiss you, you weren’t really mad, just… jealous. But you also knew that kisses to Arthur were happy, full of joy and love and you kissing him right now wouldn’t be well received because he would think that you had done it out of obligation; that you didn’t really want to kiss him but you were doing it to keep him quiet. You knew Arthur well enough to know that if you kissed him now, you would do irreparable damage to your relationship. Even when you were feeling less than positive did you have to be so very mindful of Arthur and the way that his damaged brain worked. 

He was never more than one wrong moment away from distancing himself from you, though by no means were you ever walking on egg shells; no, you loved him so much that you always did what you could to look after him, even when you were the one who wanted to be looked after. 

Arthur was the same, though - even if he had had a shitty day, even if his day had been so bad it had been all he could do to just get home, if he saw that you were having a bad day too did he put everything aside to look after you. 

You had a relationship of give and take, of care and love, and sometimes you both had to put your own feelings aside in the same moment to care for the other. You didn’t mind though, you never could, because in looking after each other even when you didn’t want to were you able to care after your own selves; your relationship was so involved, so emotionally intimate and physically close, that even when you hadn’t spoken for hours were you able to stretch your fingers or your thoughts out and find the other already waiting with open arms and listening ears.

You sighed quietly, your annoyance slipping away already. You could never feel any negativity towards Arthur for any long stretch of time; you loved him too much. Part of you wondered if you had a healthy relationship together, but the larger side of you didn’t care. All you had was each other in the grand scheme of things, so why not throw yourself right in there? You were equally obsessed with each other and you both loved it. “You can’t kiss me because you smiled my smile at Sophie.” The words were out before you could stop them and you slapped a hand over your mouth, your eyes wide as you stepped away from Arthur, at the same time stepping away from the situation so you could just think and breathe and figure out why you were suddenly jealous over a simple greeting being exchanged in a corridor.

A pause in which neither of you breathed and you just stared at each other.

Then, a single hiccup turned into several hiccups. Hiccups turned to soft giggles and then… oh, and then, Arthur’s chuckles became long, raspy breaths as he laughed. It wasn’t a laughter filled with pain, discomfort or sorrow, anger or any of the usual reasons which caused him to laugh uncontrollably. No. No, Arthur was laughing because he was amused by your jealousy. Over him. Really, did wonders never cease? You smiled despite yourself at the way you had made him laugh. With happiness, amusement and disbelief.

You had made Arthur genuinely laugh and it almost made your jealousy, spiking hot through your body, worth it.

Almost.

“Oh, I’m so glad I amuse you!” You couldn’t have helped the smile tugging at your lips if you had tried. You didn’t. You could never stay mad at him for anything. He was just too cute. He was soft and kind and good and everything you had ever wanted in a life partner and he knew it. He knew how loved and cherished he was and moments like this proved any acidic thoughts wrong; his negative thoughts had been less prominent in the time that you had been together but he still had them. Still did they reign with an ice cold grip over his battered heart but you were always there with heated kisses and warm, gentle hands to chase them away.

Arthur tried to stop his laughter, mirth making his green eyes glitter, but he couldn’t help himself. He laughed out loud, not bothering to clamp a hand over his mouth to muffle the beautiful sounds he was making. This wasn’t the kind of feeling he had been taught to hide, to be ashamed of. No, this was… this was sheer joy and he wanted to let himself feel it for as long as it was there.

You stood there and watched him, taking the time to just look. He was fucking beautiful. Even that word didn’t seem to quite cut it. He was exquisite, a delicacy to be truly savoured, a book to be opened and read carefully, your eyes taking in each word with the intent of taking your time. A mystery to be never fully explained. You remained convinced that he was not of this world; the citizens of Gotham were cruel, underhanded and arguably more demonic than demons. They were cold and brash and cared nothing for the people they had to step on - usually literally - in order to get to where they wanted to go but Arthur… Arthur was so innocent. He had a childlike wonder about the world and no matter what it did to him did he seem to bounce back. He was so strong.

Arthur bit on his lip as laughter turned to hiccups and finally he hummed to himself, love all over his face. He stood there, chest heaving slightly with the force of his expression, and there must have been something on your face because he stepped forward, grabbed your face in both hands and pressed his lips to yours. There was none of his usual endearing shyness, with his eyes wandering over your face as he wondered if he dared to kiss you. There was only certainty as he kissed you, his lips hot and hard against yours as he took what he wanted, what you both wanted: the knowledge that you were in love and together and nothing would ever change that.

“How about we show Sophie who I belong to, hm?” There was a quiet undertone of something in Arthur’s voice that made your stomach clench in anticipation and you wound your fingers in his hair, pulling lightly at the strands as you nodded your consent against his lips.

You didn’t know where this confidence had come from, but as a dark shiver tingled down your spine and you pressed yourself into Arthur, eager for everything he would give you tonight, you couldn’t deny that you liked it.

The Arthur Fleck/Joker Defense Squad @writings-of-a-gen-z  @x-avantgarde-x       @insomniabird  @mavalenovaninagavi  @itwasrealenough  @morrisonmercurymalek  @rand0ms-fand0ms  @rafaelina-casillas @aclownthing  @rebs-doom  @vivft  @help-i-am-obssessed@autumnaffection   @taintednihilist   @vladtoly   @mg-woolf99@misstgrey92  @that-s-life   @dopey-girl-blogs  @seeking-dreamland  @sweetheart-syndrome  @heartxfdesire  @xmusichealsthesoulx  @0callmejude0  @the-one-that-likes-riddles  @hannibalsslut  @folliaght  @freeeshavacadoo  @bingewatchingmylifegoby  @unlovedbyeveryoneandeverything  @okamiredfoxx  @sp0okysp0oky  @the-pandorabox  @mardema  @jibanyyan  @honeyflvredcoughdrop  @emissarydecksetter  @jokerfleckk  @epidendroideae  @chuuntas  @stillmabel  @pumpkinpeyes  @onehystericalqueenposts  @the-jokers-wolf  @nalsswa  @justahyena  @arianatheangelworld  @soullessblondbitch  @gothamslittlejester  @twentyonestarrynights  @sirianfromsixties  @kissmeclownman  @joker-is-my-hero  @lazyloosah  @lovesickkloxx  @ladylovelyluna  @live-love-loki  @clownerybbxx   @tragicarthur    @anmach123     @rommie-chan      @arthurflock     @lucyboytom      @anti-peach     @ immortal-bi-bitch @hearthurfleck      @crazieroutthere      @curlystark     @hailmary-yramliah    @sagyunaro     @playinthedarktillitsgoldenagain     @jokeringcutio      @xenthefox   @mijachula @stcrrynightsinneverlcnd      @cheyennejonas22    @mrjfleck      @pauli1100     @smitten-susie

[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Wet Sugar” [Part 19 of 30]

Summary: Erik teaches Yani a lesson and change is in the air...

NSFW. Mature Audience. Smut.

"Sunshine & the rain Sunshine & the rain I'm feelin that pressure, now, now I'm feelin that same old round and round I can't go forward

I need a boost to catapult me high feels like the come up is way too tight chokin and squeezin' my life, every time"

Joi—"Sunshine & The Rain"

Yani knew Erik watched her from the security cams when she left for the night. She made sure to walk in front of all visible optics in case Neal was lurking for her too. Huntsman commenting on her relationship with Erik frightened her. Did Klaue know about it too?

The thought worried her all night when she slept at Leona's apartment. When she arrived back at the compound to cook breakfast and prep for the dinner meal, she stayed in the front house the entire time. It wasn't until the men left for the day to explore island bars that she even took a bit of time to walk down to the cove to relax. Erik was gone with the men. She had hoped that he could stay behind with her, but he made a point of driving the others into town. She asked him to pick up bottled water and extra batteries just in case they needed them.

The sky was even grayer when the men returned late in the evening. She ignored them all, including Erik. The standing freezer had an abundance of nickel-sized scallops and prosciutto. Yani cooked thin spaghetti noodles with fish sauce and fresh garlic with the scallops and tossed together an Italian salad with the thin slices of cured ham. This particular crew wasn't particular or even cared for dessert, so she watched them eat her food and quickly cleaned up after them when they were done.

She heard Erik talking to the others in the front house den. He was encouraging the men to leave early in the morning before the storm arrived, but the captain of the boat had trepidations about sailing back to Florida. Erik mentioned Puerto Rico but there was grumbling. The point became moot when one of the men turned up the view screen and the weather report was dire. The storm had grown and would pass by the island sooner than originally predicted.

The men would stay longer.

Erik sent her a text.

Go home and don't come back here until I tell you. Get to safety with your family.

She quickly texted him back.

If it gets bad, the safest place here is under the middle house. There is a large crawlspace there right under the kitchen window outside. The panic room is only for you. No one else.

Hug the baby for me.

Yani put together a to-go plate for herself and slipped away from the grounds without the men noticing.

Her Aunt and cousins made plans to stay in a shelter and she packed up pull-ups and baby food for Sydette and a small clothing bag for herself. Piling blankets in her car, she drove herself, Sydette and Twyla to the church shelter they had used since she was a child. It was better to be safe than sorry, and the other islanders who thought the same were already hunkering down for the night. As a child she had survived a Category 3 storm, so she was only slightly anxious with a Category 2 on the way.

The entire night she listened to prayers, a short sermon from the Pastor, and soft whispers from all around her as they all waited to see what the next day would bring. She dozed off around two in the morning but was abruptly woken up with Sydette clutched in her embrace as the wind howled outside the church. It was seven in the morning but darkness surrounded them.

Yani sat up and looked at Leona and Twyla.

"How bad is it?" she asked.

"We were lucky. The hurricane died down and didn't even come near us. Right now we are getting the tail end of a strong tropical storm. Praise God. Them say it'll pass through by evening," Leona said.

Yani exhaled with relief.

She changed Sydette's pull up and cleaned her hands with hand sanitizer before opening up a jar of baby food.

"We should go home," Twyla said.

"I think we should stay until we know for sure it is safe," Leona said.

Yani checked her cell. Erik sent a few texts while she was asleep. It looked like he was awake all night by the number of messages he left for her and the baby. She texted him back letting him know her family's plan to stay at the church longer. She was glad that their cell phones still worked.

Food was served throughout the day and by early evening, the winds had died away leaving a summer rain and the winking of sun rays peeking through the last of the clouded sky. She packed up her things and drove back to Leona's.

There was a time-sensitive notification in her emails that jumped out at her as she contacted relatives in the states to let them know they were okay. Although cell service worked on the island, it was crackly and hard to hear when they tried calling overseas.

The email was from the University.

A nursing student had dropped out of the early summer track for three online classes and Yani was offered the spot because of her high entry test scores. She accepted quickly and took a deep breath. She was going to start school sooner than expected. It meant she could qualify for three prerequisites for the newly created nurse/midwife track she wanted to get into. It also meant she had a shot at entering the accelerated program that was opening the following Spring.

It was happening.

Her career goals were coming to fruition.

Yani took a moment sitting in front of her Aunt's desktop computer in the living room. She touched her chest and felt her heart pounding. As long as she kept up her grades she would succeed. Gratefulness swelled inside of her. The time Erik gave her to relax and do some self-study on her own made her feel confident accepting the early start. She could do this. For herself and her baby.

She grabbed her phone.

"Killmonger."

"You and the baby good?"

Hearing his voice made her eyes water. She was glad she didn't face chat him.

"We're fine. Back at Auntie's. Killmonger…I get to start school early."

"Yeah?"

She spilled out her good news and Twyla walked in on her and saw the joy on her face. Her cousin's hand rubbing her back at the news made Yani feel happy.

School would start in a week.

She was ready.

###

Erik didn't allow Yani to return to the compound until the mercs had left.

He baked her a cake to congratulate her on her early start for school, and he damn near ran to her car when she pulled onto the property with the baby. His hand gripped her neck so tight once he had her in his arms. He didn't allow Sydette to leave his side once he had her back with him. The mercs leaving along with the storm made the compound feel light and free again.

Watching Yani eat the cake he made while feeding some to Sydette calmed his nerves. Their first night back together had them all cuddled together in one bed, and he spent the rest of the week spoiling Yani with fancy food, back rubs, foot massages and nights out with her friends while he looked after the baby.

Her last night going out before she started her classes found him cooking oxtails the way Leona showed him how to do it and attempting to make a decent batch of stew peas and rice. Sydette ran around him in the kitchen of Klaue's main house while Yani got showered for her evening of fun. He made the food for Yani's return because she was always starving after a late night out.

Packing the food up into the fridge, he gathered Sydette's overnight bag and carried the baby into the master bedroom.

"Aye Sweet Pea, say bye-bye to Mama. Kiss!" Yani said holding out her hands for Sydette.

Draped in a fluffy white bathrobe and face unmade, Erik watched Yani give smooches all over Sydette's face.

"Be a good girl for Twyla," she said.

"Be back," he said.

Taking Sydette away from her, Erik drove to Leona's and handed the baby over to Twyla. By the time he made it back to the compound, Yani had on her make-up and her clothes…

"The fuck you wearing?"

She stood in front of the master bedroom vanity mirror primping and smoothing oil onto her platinum-colored hair. Face beat like a Boss Bitch, her eyes dragged away from her own visage and gazed at him.

"What you mean?"

"Bend over."

Yani leaned forward slightly and the short form-fitting white shirt she was wearing like a mini dress raised up and he could see the underside of her ass cheeks clear as day.

"Nah…nah…put some pants on or get something else on—"

"Serious?"

She sucked her teeth at him.

"You ain't got no panties on—"

"Yes, I do."

She lifted up the dress higher and he saw silky white boy shorts.

Erik twisted up his lips. He didn't want to be that dude. He didn't want to sound or look like an insecure pooh butt. Women could wear what they wanted. He appreciated women who dressed sexy and were confident in that sexiness.

However…

"Yani, these niggas be ruthless in the club. Why you gotta have so much ass out? You know they gonna push up on you…I can see your cheeks, girl—"

"Barely. Just tell me you don't wahn mi grindin' on niggas—"

"I don't want you grindin' on niggas with that dress on."

"I'm not changing clothes."

She put her hand on her hip and her eyes challenged him to say different.

He fell back and watched her slip on her heels and grab her small purse.

"Who's picking you up?"

"Lesonne. I'm catching a cab back if I get tired early…stop trippin'. It's really not that short…"

His eyes dragged down to her thighs. He could see the tops of them. The dress shirt flared out on the sides hanging low enough to cover her hips, but the cut still showed a lot from the front and back.

Let her show off in peace.

The click-clack of her silver heels on the tiled floor broke him out of his thoughts of making her stay home with him. He seriously thought of going with her, but she was so bubbly gossiping with her girlfriends that he had to figure out why he was so agitated about a dress. A stupid dress he would've lusted over himself had he seen her in a club with it on. He would've been one of the men pushing up on her if he didn't know her.

She checked her phone.

"They're on their way," she said.

He followed her up to the main gate of the compound, and the longer they walked with her ahead of him, the more time he had to look at her hips twisting as she walked, her thighs all out teasing him. Erik felt that gnawing need to control what was happening. He reached out and stroked the right curve off her ass.

"Don't have them dudes—"

She brushed his hand away from her body.

His eyes narrowed and he pulled her arm back toward him.

"Are you listening to me?"

"I'll be a good girl."

She said the words, but the twist of her lips told him otherwise. He reached behind her and slapped her ass. Hard.

"Ow!"

She punched him in his chest.

"I'll be up waiting for you."

"I may not be back until early tomorrow."

Now he was really irritated.

"So what was the point of me taking Sydette to your Aunt's? We were supposed to have a grown- up night together before you start school—"

"I told you that I wasn't sure when I would be back—"

"You said no later than one or two."

"Well, it may be later than that—"

"So we not fucking?"

She checked her cell and fixed the thin white belt that cinched her waist.

"We'll see how I feel when I get back."

She rubbed his arm and turned around to show him her backside. Jiggling her cheeks, she giggled at him with her teasing.

"See, now you're being mean," he said.

He took his flat palm and smacked the shit out of her rump. She yelped and rubbed her ass.

"Save that for when I get—"

He yanked her panties down and slapped her vulva.

"Killmonger!"

Her hands tried to block his.

"Take them off."

"They're going to be here—"

"Take them off."

They heard Lesonne's car roll to the front of the gate, music blaring, tires screeching to a halt. Yani's phone vibrated in her purse. She pulled it out.

"Tell her you'll be out in a minute," he whispered.

Her fingers swiped her phone screen and she put her cell back in her purse.

"Panties."

Yani stepped out of her tiny boy shorts and held them. He moved up against her and traced his finger along her lips, the red matte lipstick rich on her mouth. He bent down and kissed her, serving her his warm tongue and he felt her body go limp against his.

Slipping two fingers between her legs, he separated her folds. She tugged on the bulge in his jeans. Inserting his fingers into her pussy, he thrust in and out slowly making her squirm. Her hand made his dick lift up so that it pointed at her.

"You wore that dress just to fuck with me," he whispered.

Her eyes were glassy and her pussy was dripping. The sticky fluid from her body made squishy sounds. He kept manipulating her folds until her legs shook. She vacillated between biting her lips, staring down at his fingers, and closing her eyes as he varied the depth and speed of his digits inside of her.

"Erik…fuck…"

"You come home at a decent hour so I can get in all this. Hear?"

Yani bit her lips as she tried to stifle the tiny groans coming from her mouth.

"I should fuck you right now, right here," he said.

"They're waiting…"

"So."

"Huuhnnn…"

Her hands rested against his chest, her warm fingers, pushing him back.

Hooking his fingers, Erik tapped on her walls and let his thumb flick over her clit.

"I should pick you up and let you slide down this dick. Fuck you standing up—"

"Stop!"

Yani removed his fingers from her slit and stepped away from him.

"Let me get going. I'll let you have it all when I get back."

He spun her around and pushed her against the gate. Dropping to his knees he pulled her soft ass cheeks apart and shoved his entire face into her pussy lips.

He heard Yani's hands slam against the metal gate bracing herself and she pushed her backside out giving him even more access to her private parts. Sliding his tongue along her outer labia, he licked his bottom lip that was wet with saliva.

He heard faint sounds escape her mouth as she tried to keep quiet as her friends waited on the other side of the gate. Shoving his tongue deep inside of her, Yani rocked her hips back to smash her ass into his face and he loved it. He gripped his dick through his pants and squeezed his balls to keep himself from cumming. He wanted to be knee-deep in her walls when he did that.

Removing his tongue, he let Yani's ass strike his face, getting his beard drenched with her sweet fluids. He had her soaking wet. It was time to make her pussy submit. Erik became a flurry of fingers and wet tongue kissing as he licked her engorged labia like icing off a cake. Bathing her pussy with his saliva, he dragged his tongue along all the sensitive parts that made her melt in his mouth.

"Daddy gon' chop this peach up when you get back."

He felt the heavy throbbing weight between his legs and before the surge from his balls could overtake him, Yani shuddered while his lips sucked on her clit, her release making her plump vulva spasm.

"Pussy sloppy, baby…"

He licked up all the excess juices that poured from her and kissed her folds gently, his full lips pressing against her skin, still feeling the slight spasms from the tail end of her orgasm.

"Watch yourself," he said.

She pulled her panties back on while he stood up and adjusted his dick. He was so horny for her.

"Just gonna leave Daddy like this?"

She rolled her eyes and he opened the gate for her.

His erection grew more rigid as he watched her walk away from him and get into the car.

Such a tease.

###

Erik surveyed some gun schematics on his laptop. It was nearing midnight and he was restless. He had tried to watch porn earlier, but none of the women he saw online excited him enough to rub one out. All he had eyes for was Yani and that mini dress. He took out some weed he got from Kendall and rolled a tight one. The baby wasn't there so he felt cool about indulging.

His cell buzzed and when he checked it, there were a series of pictures that Yani sent him. A few group shots with her friends, but a few with men at the club posing with her crew, and sure enough, that fucking dress was doing too much.

He went back to looking at gun designs and another text blew up his phone.

A video.

Yani and her girls dancing, but Yani was winding on some Rasta looking clown who was pressed up against her.

"See, this the shit I was talking about," he grumbled.

It didn't matter. He was going to use up a whole bottle of lube when she came home. A long drag on his herb had him toasted. Shit was potent as fuck.

The clip was only a minute long but long enough to let him know she was buzzing and showing off. Her girlfriends were egging her on and just as tipsy and feisty as she was.

He texted her.

Slow your roll, Ma. For real.

You not my daddy, lol!

She sent him more pictures, trying her best to be provocative. He didn't fall for it.

It wasn't until he saw a thirty-second video clip of another man grinding on her and patting her vulva through her dress that he jumped off the couch.

###

"We run tings. Tings nuh run we!"

The Flourgon song made Yani's hips dip, and she watched the crowd dance while she sipped on her apple martini in the V.I.P. section she reserved for her friends. It was ladies' night, and this particular club was a diverse mix of locals and white tourists. She liked the booth they were set up in. They could see what was happening around the club, but other patrons couldn't see what they were doing.

All of her friends were happy for her, and she was cutting up in the club with them, feeling powerful and ready to take on the world. Bottle service was popping and she was given extra drinks for free because of her connection to Kendall who had performed there the previous weekend.

The music switched to R&B and Yani followed her friends onto the floor and they became ridiculous with their dancing. She kicked off her heels and swung them in her hand as she downed shots and sang off-key to the music with her girls.

She took out her cell and took more video shots to send to Erik. She posted two pictures on her social media page of the group shots she had in their V.I.P. booth. On her way back to her section, she stopped by the bar to order hot wings and potato poppers to snack on and soak up the liquor in her belly.

Stepping near her booth, Lesonne tugged on her arm.

"Is that your man?"

Yani was confused by the question until she saw Erik bee-lining his way toward her. His lips were tight when he reached her group.

"There she is, Miz fatness."

The gruff island voice startled Yani as a man she had danced with earlier rubbed up against her, his hand sliding around her waist, his locs falling against her cheek.

In front of Erik.

Her man's eyes lowered to stare at the stranger's hand and Yani moved up on the single step that led to her booth to separate herself from the man. Her friends filed behind her, their eyes taking in the whole scene.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

Erik shoved past the other man, his shoulder knocking him aside.

"Aye!"

"Fuck you want?" Erik said.

The stranger looked Erik up and down, and what he saw made him move along without another word.

Yani's friends stood away from them, leaning against the railing that separated their section. They looked out onto the dance floor. The tone of Erik's voice made Yani nervous.

"Why yuh here?"

She eased him into a corner of their section where no one on the floor could see them too well. But her friends could hear everything.

"You tryna be too cute. That's why I'm here. Got niggas touching your pussy in public—"

Yani heard her friend Milah let out an "Ooh…I knew it."

His eyes were on her dress again.

"Please. Don't make a scene, man. Not here. We're having a good time. You didn't need to come down here to tell me that. Coulda texted—"

"Nah, you wanted this attention."

His eyes were blazing. She caught a whiff of weed from his breath.

Lesonne placed a shot glass into Erik's hand.

"Drink up. It's a celebration," Lesonne said.

Erik tossed back the tequila and Yani moved over to the railing to watch the crowd and divert Erik's attention. She was shocked when she felt his palm strike under her ass. He pressed up against her and let his hands grip the railing, trapping her there. His hot breath tickled her ear as he leaned in to whisper.

"Didn't I tell you to watch yourself before you left? You think I was playing?"

"It was nothin'."

His hand reached down and clutched at her mound.

"He had his hand on you like this. Bitch, I can feel how fat your puss is through this dress. You let that nigga touch my shit."

Yani's eyes darted to the side. All four of her friends had their eyes glued to the dance floor, but she knew their ears were stinging from Erik's words.

"Let's talk about this at home—"

"No."

His voice was raspy against her ear.

"You tryna get fucked in the club?"

Now he was getting loud. She tried to turn around but he kept her in place, his groin shoved hard against her ass. She turned her head and his lips met hers. He wasn't gentle with her mouth, but he was gentle with his hips rocking into her. He dropped his right hand down and wiggled his fingers under the front of her dress and slipped them down her panties. The stimulation from his fingers across her plump clit had her mewling and pushing back against him. The blood in her body thrummed hot as his tongue slid against hers. No matter what happened between them, his kisses always disarmed her.

Her head dropped forward when his fingers sunk into her pussy.

"This what you wanted?"

"Ooh."

He was digging deep.

"I saw you out there dancing. All this big ass out in the open…"

Her friends pretended not to notice, but they could hear everything. Even her wet folds being assailed by his hand.

Erik removed his hand from her slit for a few seconds, and she felt him unzip his pants and lift up the back of her dress. She gripped her fingers around the railing. Two of her friends slipped away to the dance floor. The other two stood rooted, heads facing forward. Erik yanked her panties down to her knees.

Her skin felt tingly and once she felt him lining his glans against her opening, she accepted what she had done. She wanted to incite his ardor. She wanted to flaunt her body to get him enflamed for her. She wanted him begging for her pussy. At home.

But no.

He drove all the way across the island, walked into this club so he could-

"Fuck, Killmonger!"

His dick stretched out her opening, and from the angle he entered her, the head of his dick tugged down on her clit and the sensation shot out a hot ripple of pleasure up to her nipples and down to her toes.

From the floor, if anyone looked up, they would simply look like a couple hugged up watching the action. Erik kept his hands gripped on her waist as he rocked into her.

"Fucking slut."

His words slurred in her ear.

"Look at your friends. Making them watch Daddy fuck you like this."

Her eyes flicked over to glance at Milah and Lesonne who stayed behind. Milah's eyes were brazen and aroused watching Yani get pounded in public. Her eyes trailed down Yani's body until she was staring at Erik's dick pumping in and out of her.

"Shit, Yani. Yuh nasty. Him beating up that pum pum," Milah said.

Erik dragged her over to the back of the VIP section and away from her friends, his dick still rooted deep within her. He grabbed her arms to balance himself and really started to thrust. Yani chewed on her lips trying to keep quiet, but a few cries got out, drowned by the loud bass thudding throughout the club. Her balance was thrown off when he released her arms and she reached out to hold onto the wall.

Erik yanked her underwear back up as he pulled out.

"Be still."

She whimpered as he placed his erection between her thighs and jerked off his load into her panties. He swallowed the grunts in his throat as the last of his semen spilled out.

"Pull your panties back up," he said.

Yani did as she was told, her soaked underwear sticking to her vulva. She smoothed down her dress and still felt the thumping of her clit. She turned to face him and he zipped up his pants.

"Let somebody touch my shit now, girl."

He looked at her friends who avoided eye contact with both of them and left her standing there. They watched him move through the crowd, his swagger so acute that Yani had to pour herself a glass of champagne and gulp it down.

Panties filled with cum and a face filled with embarrassment, Yani said nothing to Milah or Lesonne.

###

Erik was reading in bed when Yani returned to the compound. He'd been at the house for over an hour before she came back.

She showered and crawled onto the bed next to him. He ignored her, even though she was butt naked. After a time, he put the book on the nightstand and looked at her.

"Rest of the night was cool?"

"Yeah."

His eyes tried not to stare at her body too much, but he couldn't help it. Her face looked pouty. He pinched one of her nipples.

"You fucked me in front of my friends."

"So. They didn't look bothered by it. They say something?"

"Not really."

"You need to apologize to me."

"For what?"

"Making me come out there. I had shit to do here. But you got out of pocket. Stole some work time from me."

Her fingers stroked his naked chest tracing the skin between his keloids.

"I'm sorry."

"Nah. Not like that. You know what I want."

He pulled the covers back from his body and lifted up his dick. Her fingers clasped it and she lowered her head and wrapped her lips around it.

"Damn," he hissed.

Once she had him standing at attention, her fingers slipped between her legs and she fondled her clit.

"Get it ready for me. You got some making up to do."

Her mouth sucked and licked up and down the sides of his length and he groaned from her loving tongue swiping against his balls. He reached for the lube next to his book and slathered his dick with it.

"Turn around. Sideways," he directed her.

He tilted his hips to the left slightly and Yani lowered her ass, her fingers holding open her labia.

"Slide down Daddy's dick, baby."

She was on her hands and knees and he had the pleasure of watching her entire side view as she bounced on his dick. His left hand rested on her ass cheek.

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

"Show me."

Her breasts jiggled and he reached over to play with her big nipple. She had a steady rhythm.

"You gon' let some other nigga touch my pussy again?"

Her lips curled up and she shook her head vigorously when he started thrusting up into her.

"What? I didn't hear you."

Her hand reached back and touched his side.

"Ooomph…Daddy!"

He was stretching her out real good.

"Answer me."

He slapped her backside. She leaned down on her elbows and pressed her face into the mattress. That wouldn't do. He grabbed her arm and pulled her to face him. She plucked on her nipples and pushed her breasts together for him. Her pussy was squeezing him while he let her do most of the work. He slapped the side of her hip and her eyes shot open.

"You betta answer me—"

"I won't let no one touch my pussy…just you…just you."

"This pussy is so good…you liked it when Daddy fucked you at the club, huh?"

"Yeah."

"You liked your friends watching me dick you down, huh?"

Her pussy clenched around him.

"Yeah, you liked that shit. You liked them seeing what you get all the time. Daddy's big dick all in your fat pussy."

She was wailing as she bounced on his dick. He played with her nipple and watched his thickness split her good. He lifted up and held her back, widening his thighs so he could get his balls all up in her ass. He held her in that position for a long time, punishing her folds until she was begging him to let her cum.

"Don't you ever let me catch you with some other man's hand on this pussy. Hear me?"

"Yeah!"

Erik pulled out and pushed her onto her stomach. He climbed on top of her and inserted his dick once more. He gave her slow thrusts until her fingers were clawing the pillows.

"Cum on me, Yani."

She screamed his name and fell apart on his dick. He didn't wait for her to finish as he sped up his pace and then pulled her on her knees so he could watch her rock back onto his length.

"Had all my cum in your panties…"

"Yeah…"

"You liked that, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

He groaned out loud.

"Cum in me, Daddy."

"Whatchu want Daddy to do? Tell me again…"

"Cum in my pussy…"

"…fill your pussy up?"

"Make a big mess, Daddy…"

"Like I did at the club?"

"Yeah."

"Wet your pussy up like I did those panties?"

"Please—"

"Tell me—"

"I want you to wet my pussy up. Make a big mess like you put in my panties—"

"That's what you want?"

"Yeah."

"You like it when I make you sloppy—"

"Yeah."

"Give you a big cream pie—"

"Mmmhmmm."

"Ah shit-!"

It never failed. Talking to her while watching the sexy dimpling in her ass, her thighs striking his, it never took long for him to let go whenever he was ready. He ejaculated, the tight pulling on his balls letting him know he had emptied out another huge load.

He stayed in her pussy for the rest of the night, fucking her until she fell asleep in his arms. The bottle of lube was empty like he thought it would be.

###

Erik worked hard to get a workable mock-up of the weapons he wanted to convert with the vibranium. He found it hard to concentrate for the last few weeks because he and Yani had both been busy. Sex was infrequent, and she was gone from the compound a lot. He thought her online classes would keep her close, but it actually took her away. She started a study group with a few other online students on the island and met with them three times a week. Her courses were time-consuming and her energy was spent on assignments, getting high grades on her quizzes and tests, and caring for Sydette. She was mentally drained by the end of the day and was often knocked out by the time he joined her in bed at night.

He felt displaced.

Their life had been perfect, but now he was losing her to school.

When her midterm rolled around and they were easing into August, she dropped some news on him that upset him. The apartment she was going to share with her roommate was available and the leasing agent wanted her and her roommate to take it right away or risk losing it to another tenant. She wanted to move out right away. Her roommate was ready to get the apartment too.

She told him while he took out braids from Sydette's hair on the porch.

Yani was going to settle on the other side of the island with the baby, leaving him at the compound alone.

As always, when it rained, it poured.

While Yani went out for several days with her roommate to buy furniture and cookware for her new apartment, he received word from Klaue: he was coming back to St. Thomas.

Early.

###

Chapter 20 Here

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[thxngam]

Happy birthday Steeb! Have some schmoop with your boo :)

"I have another little present for you, soldier," Tony said, tugging his and by extension Steve's hand down to the waistband of his pants and guiding his to dip below the waistband. Tony wasn't wearing a belt for this very reason, everything planned in extension of this tease. He let the pants slip a little, reaching below in a show of readjusting himself with Steve's hand too, letting him feel what was unmistakably lace covering his ass. "Feel that?"

Steve's lips parted in a near-comical look when he tugged at it, swallowing audibly. "You wore-is this-?"

"All for you, Steve," Tony promised lowly. "Just for you. D'you like it?"

Steve, in response, gave a tug that pulled at his semi-hard cock in a way that made Tony almost uncomfortably aware of Steve plastered against his back, his own bulge pressing inconspicuously at the curve of his ass. Tony mewled softly, head tipping back to rest on Steve's shoulder, trying to inhale subtly and not look like he was a minute's way from ripping Steve's clothing off. “Steve?”

Steve's hands dipped below the panty-line in what felt like a response. Tony whimpered softly, crying out. “Ah-!"

"Call Happy," Steve murmured into his ear, making Tony shiver. "And then you're gonna go home, take all this off, and give me a nice show, hm? Is that right, Tony?" He gave a squeeze. Tony squirmed as discreetly as he could. God, the Captain’s voice did something to him.

But it seemed he waited too long because Steve gave a warning little trail between his cheeks and Tony couldn't stop his quiet moan, hurriedly twisting to hide his face in Steve's shoulder. "Yes, Steve," he whispered hastily, basking in Steve’s satisfied rumble, fumbling for his phone and sending a text to Happy with shaky fingers. "Steve-!"

Steve withdrew his fingers and tipped his head up for a chaste kiss. "You're a doll. I’m so lucky to have, you."

Tony smiled secretively into Steve’s shirt. “I’m glad you like it.”

Steve nuzzled his nose, and in a tone that was entirely deceiving for what he was about to say, rumbled against his hair, “I love it. I’ll be sure to show you, baby, especially when you’re screaming on my cock, hm? I think that’ll get the point across. You need time to primp, baby?”

Tony nodded quickly; this was going better than he’d ever imagined.

...

Tony examined himself in the mirror of the closet he’d excused himself to for ‘primping’, unable to stop the entirely unsexy but joyful smile across his face. Steve would love it. The lingerie was made of the softest material he could find for Steve’s avid love of touch and modeled the USO girls in that it had a short little skirt that brushed the bottom of his ass and a crop top that bared his navel and cut off before his arms, the whole ensemble cupping calves and shoulders and thighs in a way that made him feel powerful and showed off his best assets. Steve was possibly the strongest person on the planet and had been strong in the face of dangers that would throw most people into an early grave, but Tony knew Steve’d be mush when Tony stepped out of their closet.

Not to mention that Steve made him feel good; he was sexy and attractive and he was being vulnerable with his man on his birthday. Just two people in love, Tony thought. Nothing left but to see Steve's wide-eyed expression when he came strutting out of his turned their closet. “Steve?” he called quietly so as not to interrupt the dreamlike quality of the night, the culmination of sipping summer drinks and pigging out on comfort food, Steve’s hand on his knee at the restaurant, the sweet way he’d murmured in Tony’s ear all night as they drank from a shared glass of wine. “Are you ready?”

“Come on out, baby,” Steve called back. “Lemme see you.”

Tony smiled and shook himself a little, opening the door and strutting out of the closet, delighting in the way Steve’s mouth parted, Steve’s breathing and the clack of Tony’s heels on the floor (didn’t he mention the heels? Tony was kind of hoping Steve would fuck him with them on, Tony’s feet in the air as he wailed himself hoarse) the only sound in the room. He straddled Steve’s lap, leaning forward to place a delicate peck to Steve’s nose. “Steve?”

Steve startled, jumping, Tony yelping in return, gripping Steve’s shoulders as he nearly went flying from Steve’s lap. Tony stared as Steve turned scarlet. “Steve?!”

Steve laughed nervously, hand coming to run through his own hair, the other hand wrapping around Tony’s waist. “Sorry, sorry, I just-wow. It’s-you look beautiful, baby.”

Tony preened, but this was less of the reaction he wanted; Tony wanted ravishment (heh heh), even as flattering as it was that Steve thought he was beautiful. “Thank you, darling,” he whispered. He pressed his lips against Steve’s. “But-” he ground down, rubbing his ass against the bulge under his lap. “Anything else you feel?”

Steve laughed, grabbing a handful and urging him into a slow grind. “I love it, baby. Might be my most favorite thing you’ve worn.”

“Well that’s good,” Tony panted, rutting his cock up against Steve’s grandpa plaid shirt, whining unconsciously. “Tailored for this, Steve; the fabric is sturdier, so you can be a little rough.”

Steve groaned and dropped his head against Tony's shoulders. "You really did wear it for me, huh?"

“Ah, you’re right, it’s for my mistre-of course it’s for you Steve!” Tony laughed. “Who else would it be for?”

“Yourself?” Steve guessed, pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips.

Tony smiled. That was so sweet. "Happy birthday, Steve."

Steve made a guttural noise and hastily pressed their mouths together, tongue dipping in for a taste. "You're so good to me, Tony," he murmured against his mouth, leaning back to give him an adoring smile. "So good. I love you."

"I love you too," Tony murmured, wrapping his arm around the back of Steve's neck and interlacing his fingers with the short, soft hairs at the back of his neck. “But I’d love you more if we could get the main event.” He shoved them both backward, and Steve flopped back, hands running up his back, chuckling at his abruptness.

“Main event, huh? What if I want to lick you out till you’re screaming, baby?” Steve’s hands drifted over his chest, over where the reactor laid beneath his top to over his shoulders. “Then what?”

“Well,” Tony sniffed haughtily, screeching when Steve dug his fingers into his-ticklish!-sides, rolling, Steve following and trailing fingers mercilessly against his ribs. “No, no, Steve! Please!”

Steve licked his lips wickedly and lifted a foot. Tony’s eyes widened. “No, no, not my fee-AIEEEE!”

“What d’you say, baby? What d’you gotta say, Tony?”

“Sorry, sorry, sorry! Please, Steve, c’mon!” Tony begged, going limp against the sheets, chest straining the seams of the top.

“Sorry, doll,” Steve chuckled finally, dropping his foot back to the bed and pressing kisses to Tony’s slack lips in apology.

“Stop,” Tony whined. He already was straining for air after that attack and Steve’s kisses always took his breath away. “No kisses, not after you attacked me-”

“Attacked?” Steve’s lips quirked in a smile.

“Don’t you dare laugh-!”

Steve shushed him, laughing, and Tony seriously considered shoving him off their bed. “Steve,” he whined, sticking his lip out in a pout that Steve thought was adorable. Tony had to agree; he was cute.

“I’m sorry, baby. Let me touch you now?” Steve tilted his head like an excited puppy. “Please?”

Tony softened like butter, melting back against the sheets, fingers itching to touch gold hair, more precious than any chunk of metal that someone could find in a cave or at the bottom of a river. Though, Tony mused, we did find him at the bottom of the ocean. "Make love to me?" Tony asked softly instead of all of the thirty billion things running through his brain. He couldn’t ever possibly vocalize his emotions, that wasn’t ever something he’d been gifted in, but he hoped the heated tangle of limbs and the heart in his actions might express the storm inside his head.

At least, that was his hope. The words ‘I love you’ was only three little words. Messy, fevered touches seemed to do it for both of them. Maybe it was the familiar near-violence that fucking always had or just the heat of warm hands on skin, but they’d always reassured each other with calloused palms and rough fingers. Touch had always been a crucial part of steveandtony.

Steve covered his lips with his fingers, tracing his bottom lip, his face suddenly tender. Tony let him touch. "I'll make love to you, Tones. Tonight," he promised, fingers dipping down to tug at the waistband of the panties and make Tony's breath hitch, "And every night after that."

Steve’s left hand was empty, but Tony imagined the way a ring would catch the light as Steve peeled the panties down his legs.

On AO3 here!

[thefloorisbalaclava]

omg how about 190: “ We cant do that here! ” Or 105: “ You owe me. ” ergersgs tbh anything you do it's going to be great sadfsfsdfAAAAA

I used ‘You owe me’ since I already used the other one. I hope you like it. And I’m sorry for any mistakes. I typed this all on my mobile. ❤❤

“Again?” you whined as Hosea and Dutch explained everything that happened to you.

“All you gotta do is walk in there lookin’ pretty,” Dutch said, “And the looking pretty part is already done.” He winked then chuckled.

“You know, flattery ain’t gonna always work on me…but, fine, I’ll do it. Again.” You hated playing dress up, almost as much as Arthur did, but you didn’t want him sitting in that jail for too long. You would do this for him. You would do anything for him.

Hosea had given you some money just in case the whole looking pretty and flirting thing didn’t work, but you hoped you wouldn’t have to use it. The women in the camp helped with getting you all primped and proper, teasing you the whole time.

“They’re gonna end up lettin’ every man out of that jail once they see you,” Tilly teased.

“Hush you.” You checked yourself one last time then turned to the ladies. “Good?”

“Sugar, you look amazin’,” Sadie said. “Arthur’s gonna get himself caught on purpose now just so you can keep savin’ him lookin’ like that.”

“Stop it.” You glared at her but on the inside you were smiling. You felt beautiful whenever Arthur laid his eyes on you but you doubted that he was looking at you in that way.

You walked out to the carriage, since Hosea refused to let you ride a horse in a dress, and he helped you up onto the seat.

“Take this,” Dutch said handing you one of his pistols. “Use it wisely.”

You rolled your eyes. “I know when and how to use a gun, Dutch.”

“I know, I know. Go get our boy back.”

“Yes sir.” You nodded to him and he tipped his hat before you clicked your tongue and urged the horses on.

The ride wasn’t a long one, just a boring one when you’re alone. When you finally got into town you sighed in relief and made your way to the jail.

“Arthur, Arthur, Arthur. What you up and done this time?” you said to yourself as you stopped the carriage in front of the Sheriff’s office. You had already planned out what role you were going to play so the only thing left to do was putting it into action and hoping it actually worked.

You pulled out your handkerchief and held it to your face before walking through the door. “Excuse me, sirs,” you sniffled.

“Ma'am.” Both men stood and looked at you as you began sobbing.

“I think y'all have my husband in here.” You peeked from behind your handkerchief and spotted Arthur, shaking his head and smirking. “There he is!” You ran over to the cell and held onto the bars. “My love,” you cried.

“This man, your husband, caused quite a ruckus in the saloon last night, ma'am.”

“I’m sure he’s sorry. You see, we just found out we got a baby on the way and I guess gettin’ drunk and stupid was his way of dealin’ with it.” You stared at Arthur and you could tell he was trying not to laugh. “I can’t stand seein’ him in there like this.” You put your hand on your head and began falling. It must’ve worked because both officers ran over to you and even Arthur stood and ran to the bars.

“Ma'am, are you all right? Should we get a doctor?” They sat you down carefully and kept asking you questions.

“No…no doctors. I just…I just want my husband. Please,” you sobbed. “He won’t cause no trouble no more. I promise.”

The two men looked at each other and one nodded to the cell that held Arthur. “Okay, ma'am. And we’re so very sorry to have upset you. We were just doin’ our job.”

“That’s quite all right, sir. Thank you so very much.” You kissed the man on his cheek and he blushed. You made your way to Arthur and held your hand out to him. “Let’s get outta here.” He took your hand and you noticed just how perfectly your hand fit in his.

Once out of the Sheriff’s office and on the wagon, Arthur burst into laughter and you almost punched him but he moved out of the way.

“Now that was somethin’ I’d love to see again,” he said, scratching at his beard. “Never seen you all dressed up before.”

“And you never will again,” you snapped. “You know what this means?”

“You gonna put a dress on me now?” He took the reins from you and sat up.

“No, but you owe me.” You would think of the perfect payback for this.

He looked at you suspiciously. “I don’t even wanna know what’s goin’ through that head of yours.”

“Good ‘cause I wasn’t gonna tell you no way,” you huffed, folding your arms across your chest. Arthur scoffed at that but didn’t ask any questions.

Back at camp, you were given a hero’s welcome and Arthur was mocked for his drunken shenanigans. You went through your entire act and had everyone doubled over in laughter.

Eventually, things died down and most of you sat around the fire listening to Javier play his guitar and sing. You hadn’t changed yet and were about to go do just that when Arthur walked up to you and held his hand out.

“What?” you asked, looking at his hand before drinking some of your beer.

“You wanna dance?” He still held his hand out but you laughed and shook your head.

“Don’t tease. You already owe me.”

“Exactly. I’m offerin’ you a dance as payment. I ain’t much of a dancer but I know how much you like to. You get to see me humiliate myself in front of all these fools. If that ain’t payback, I don’t know what is.” He eyed you and wiggled his fingers a bit. “May I have this dance?”

You looked at his hand a little longer then reached up to take it. You were certain he was going to snatch it away or something, but he didn’t and now he was putting his other hand on the small of your back.

“Like this, right?” he asked and you nodded. He swayed with you slowly and looked off somewhere. “Anybody laughin’ yet?”

“No, but they’re watchin’.”

“Let ‘em.” Suddenly, he spun you and pulled you back to him. “Didn’t know I could do that, huh?”

“Full of surprises,” you quipped. He smiled at you and you thought about just how handsome he was with the firelight shining on his face.

“Why you lookin’ at me like that?”

“I…nothin’. Sorry.” You looked at his shoulder instead.

“You didn’t have to stop lookin'… I’m lookin’ at you too.” You gasped audibly but you don’t think he heard you. He dipped you as the song ended and pulled you back up slowly.

“Th-thank you, Arthur. That was…lovely.” You had forgotten that the others were watching until a light applause rang through the night air. You giggled and shrugged, pointing to Arthur. He took your hand and kissed it before bowing. You curtseyed awkwardly then took your hand from his.

“Wanna know what I’m thinkin’?” he asked.

“What?”

“I’m thinkin’ I would love to dance with you again sometime.” He leaned in and kissed your cheek with a tenderness that had you closing your eyes.

“Arthur…everyone’s watchin’, remember?” you warned.

“Let ‘em,” he said before turning and walking away.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

TFP Breakdown and/or TFP Knock?

I'm more familiar with tfp Breakdown, so him it'll be! You want tfp Knockout, please send another request. For future reference for all of you, I'll only do one at a time! I got like 10 in my inbox now, and thatd easily turn into twenty characters. So please, one at a time for my sanity. Anyhoo, let's get started!

He is THICK. Everything about him is thick. Bulkhead is also thick, but hes the fat thick? Likes hes not obese, but hes got a beer belly. Breakdown however, is MUSCLE. He works out whenever he has nothing else to do. Catch your boy doing pushups while waiting for Knockout. Thick, strong boy and very proud to show it.

He's into someone who isn't exactly all manners. He thinks it's hot if you can go with him to outback steakhouse, blow through a whole steak and two sides with him (I headcanon tf characters can eat SOME food, like a meal a week or so. Engine reasons), and you got him swooning.

Dont be too nice, but dont be an ass. Lemme explain. Breakdown respects hard work of others, so if your a bitch that tells kids to be good in school or they'll end up being a janitor, hes not into you. He just can't. Dont gotta respect the person, but respect the work.

Having said that, he'll happily pick on fleshies with you. They being an ass? Fuck it, pick up a chair, fuck em baby, hes got your back.

Hes a family mech. He'll very quickly develop a kinship to you, and once your in his family, hes taking damn good care of you.

What I like to call a splenda daddy. Not because he won't spend money on you, but because he doesn't have it. Decepticons are rich in comparison to autobots, but hes on the bottom rung of the ladder, cant afford much since he really is just a beefed up grunt. However, if he CAN buy it for you, he will. Is 50/50 on stealing, but if hes gotta, he will for you.

Once hes into you, hes INTO you. He'll primp you up on a daily, remind you that your so pretty, and if your a fan of rocks? Hes your guy, he LOVES digging.

Loves long nails, perfect for grazing against his hood.

You wanna get him going? Go for his thighs and his arms. He'd love for you two to just be out for drinks, with you hugging one of his arms, stroking it. It'll make him sort of nervous, but in a good way.

You pet his arms for a few minutes, and hes carrying you out of the room and into the berthroom. Please let him carry you, he loves doing that.

In the berth, hes a kinda shy guy, on the receiving end. His valve is VERY sensitive. Seriously, when you guys first start hes VERY jumpy. Blow jobs and eating him out is VERY welcome. Like Bulkhead, he likes you leaving lipstick stains on him. Go for red, hes in LOVE with that color. For no reason.

Is so into being tied up. Warning though, use some STRONG cord. Dont worry about him feeling constrained, he loves it. Tie up those meaty thighs and beefy arms. He'll be so excited, his entire body will be sensitive.

Kiss his bust. He LOVES being reminded that hes a big boy.

You want him to return the favor? Oh hes glad to do so. He is a MESSY eater though, and knows no manners. He will get plenty liquids on his best, and isn't ashamed. He will dig into that pussy like hes at a pie eating contest. Despite the aggressiveness, it feels DAMN good.

You want your spike sucked? Hes got you. Take advantage of his eagerness, because he will go above and beyond for you.

If hes topping? Hes HUNGRY for you. He'll gladly pound into you, but hes not that happy with you being face down. He much prefers looking at that gorgeous face of yours.

Once he's done, he's gonna make you breakfast. Dont let his giant size fool you, boy can make master chef level croissants. Hes essentially your very big, very big lover who'll make your relationship feel like a vacation.

[ajokeformur-ray]

✨ Unfiltered Joker thoughts ✨

I watched Joker with a bunch of lovely clowns on my Discord and while they werewolf’d in the chat, I typed out my thoughts here as they came to me. These are unedited, unfiltered, and exactly as they were in my head. I don’t know who’d be interested in this but 🤷‍♀️ who doesn’t love unfiltered thoughts about our man? NSFW ahead in places, lmao and some self-ship elements because it’s always on my mind.

There are Controversial Things within, I’m sure - be nice about it if you wanna comment, or unfollow/block etc. if it bothers you I won’t take it personally. I will take it personally if I’m sent a rude message, though. Fair warning. You curate your own online experience so scroll past silently if you gotta!🥰🥰🥰🥰

Tagging @arthurflecc @jokerownsmysoul @daincrediblegg @sweet-nothings04 bc they were in the chat and missed me there!! 

 Word count: 4, 597.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJO -

*Presses play*

OMG THERE HE IS BABYYYYYYYY ~ 

Ugh that white shirt... 🥵

“paint me like one of your french girls” 👀

oh, honey, no. 

Don’t force yourself to smile, my love, it’s okay. you can be hurting.

sweet angel who can do no wrong asdfghjkl

wanna kiss that tear away...

CARNIVALCARNIVAL CARNIVAL *STARTS SWAYING IN MY SEAT*

jaunty piano to juxtapose his shitty mood

you spin me right round, baby, right round...

ohhh, baby 🥺🥺🥺

someone’s honky lmaoooooo ~ 

that cello

Ohhhh, darling man.... i’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry

WOOPS CRYINGGGG ~

sweet angel love still tryna be funy with the flower squirting...

what else will squirt tonight???👀

ohhh, darling. deep breaths baby. it’s okay. you’re okay.

CRYINGGGGG

ohhhh baby boyyyy....

legit just cooed aloud

oh angel <3 

“is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?”

it is my love... it is. 

let me sit on your lap and still the shaking of your legs

ohhhh my love. you’re okay. just breathe.

Dr. Kane was doing her best but you’re beyond what she can handle

you deserve better, sweetheart.

my love, my life.

I JUMPED WHEN HE HIT HIS HEAD IN ARKHAM

“who knows?”

yeah me too, my love. me too. 

“i just dont wanna feel so bad anymore”

oh baby.

i know, my love. i wish i could hold your hand and stroke your hair and kiss your cheeks 🥺🥺🥺

had a shitty day but wants to comfort a child on the bus. thats my manssss ~ <3 <3 <3 

okay but his peekaboo makes me giggle please do that to me when im sad

“‘cuse you bitch?”

the greasepaint still on his face is endearing omg 

GIVE HIM BACK HIS CARD OR IMMA RIOTTTT

CRYINGGGGG 

ohhhh baby. no. deep breaths. i’m here, my love. not going anywhere

those fucking steps

me too, darling. i feel your exhaustion like it’s my own and i long to take it from you without changing a single thing about you.

my love, my life

the weariness of an unchanged routine is a paralysing one

wanna rub cream on your bruises

“yeah, mum” so soft im cry

“eat. you need to eat” i hear you in my head when i wanna skip meals and it helps me.

“oh yeah? who do you talk to?” YES SASS HER

“yay murray” ohhhhh angel you’re so cute I’m cry 🥺

murray you wankstain - old and crusty 🤮🤢🤮🤢

arthur’s laugh in his daydream 🥺🥺

“i love you murray” // “you’re awful murray” baby noooooo

“theres something special about you arthur” the only real thing murrat ever fuckin said AND IT WASNT EVEN A REAL THING IT WAS IN HIS HEAD

“I TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY MOTHER” YEEEES BABY YOU DO! SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

just wantin recognition in your daydreams bc you dont get it in your real life

YOU SWEET THING

HIS SWEET SMILE AND THE CELLO OH BABY 🥺😭

YOUR BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

shoes are too tight so you gotta stretch em 

can you stretch me too???👀🥵💦🔥

“chuckletown” RANDALLS LEGACY AND WE TURNED IT INTO SMTHN LOVING AND NOT SARKY LIKE HE INTENDED LMAO FUCK YOU RANDALL YOU PIECE OF SHIIIIIIIIT

arthur’s hair in the sun omg like a halo

randall fuck off fucking fuck off go aWAY LEAVE MY ARTHUR ALONE

you asswipe

arthurs shy and nervous lil giggle omg baby say no give the gun back its not well intended 

“my boy”  AHA LMAO HE DOES PAY YOU BACK BUT NOT HOW YOU EXPECT LMAOOOO YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE

THOSE CURLS

arthur’s sweet little lilting voice in front of his boss omggggg ~ 

HOYYYYYYT 

his logic makes no sense wtffffff ~ 

RETAIL SMILE LMAO THATS A MOOD 

brewing insanity..... 

POUND ME LIKE THOSE TRASH BAGS

RUIN ME AND THEN REBUILD ME IN YOUR IMAGE 

those mf stairs again

it’s the same old team since 1916... in your head, in your head...

never in my LIFE have i been aroused by a FOOT

lmao only Arthur istg that man is the exception to my every rule

Gigi is so CUTE 🥺

THAT SMIRK SIR CAN YOU NOT

“hey” omggg look at you tryna connect ugh so proud of youuu ~ 

the moon is a silver dollar... 

THOSE CURLS

THOSE BARE FEET

THAT SOFT VOICE

ARTHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 

frances conroy is a goddess omg i love herrrr ~ 

espesh on ahs she’s a queen

but i digress lmao wrong fandom

“dont you have to be funny to be a comedian”

FUCK OFF PENNY 

FUCK RIGHT OFF THEN FUCK OFF SOME MORE PLEASE

slap that bass.... 

FINGERSSS ON THE GUN ASDFGHJ PUT THEM ON ME INSTEADDDD

zoom zoom the world is in a mess

LMAO YEP

“psh” omg you sweet angel asdfghjk

THAT EYEBROW RAISE ASDFGHJK SASSY KINGGGGG

GET ITTTTTT

UGH THAT BODY WANNA COVER IT IN MARKS OF LOVE TO REPLACE THE VIOLENT MARKS

ARTHUR @ HIMSELF “YOURE A GOOD DANCER // I KNOW”

omggggg sweet clumsy babyyyy

lmaooo “old war movie” do you tell penny that when we get caught having sex on the sofa????

arthur honey following sophie isn’t.... the best way to get her attention asdfghjk 

someone needs to teach you social interactions... 

I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTTTTTE

that student/teacher roleplay comedian at pogos makes no sense to me???? i dont get his jokes at all

lmao bad comediannnnnn

arthur’s cute lil mistimed giggles ksksksksk 

wanna kiss your cheeks every timmmme 

you’re working so hard to achieve your goals im so so proud of you

ambidextroussss ~ (just like me omg we’re perfect for each otherrrrr)

“people expect you to behave as if you dont” YOU INTELLIGENT LIL SHIT OMG I LOVE YOU AND YOUR MIND

you know its a daydream if arthurs wearing a shirt at home 

his shy “yeah” omggggg ~ angelllll 

“i have a gun i can come by tomorrow” LMAOOOOOOOO 

“youre so funny arthur” YES HE IS DREAM!SOPHIE

CARNIVAL CARNIVAL CARNIVAL

I ACTUALLY STOMP MY FEET HERE BC IM HAPPY FOR THE TIME HES ON SCREEN SWEET CLOWN 

THE ONLY ONE IM NOT AFRAID OF

HES SO SO HAPPY OMGGG

BABY BOYYYY IN HIS ELEMENT

SAD THO BC KIDS ARE TERMINALLY ILL 

bestest party clownnnn 

“I love this job” oh baby 🥺🥺

aaaaaaaaand now the betrayal from randall lmao fuck that dude

NO BB YOUR FOREHEAD NO SMASHY GLASSY

LMAO THE FUCK ERIKA???

dudes 35 not a kid 

throwing greasy chips into a girl’s hair isn’t how to flirt my dude lmao you’re gross??? 

ew

EW EW EW WIGGLE YOUR CHIPS ELSEWHERE

ohhhh arthur, honey no omg breathe it’s okay

you wanna help but you dont know how

you sweet thing 

send in the clowwwwwwwwwwwwwwns ~ 

IM CRYINGGGGG

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives”

JOEKR ITS NOT YOUR TIME YET GO AWAYYYY

lmao jokes stay you know im lost without you 

HOW CAN YOUR HAIR LOOK SO GOOD AFTER BEING UNDER A WIG ALL DAY ?????

carnival with arthur’s hair is just 👌👌👌👌

WHERES HIS CARDDDDD 

nooooooo omg baby no omg i wish i could take all those punches for you

i’d take it all in a heartbeat to save you

gritting his teeth not taking in anymore

YES BABY GET EEEEEEM

YES YES YES YES STAND UP FOR YOURSELF SO PROUD OF YOU

first 2 self defence, 3rd one unsure lmao but fuck it 

no PUT THE GUN AWAY FROM YOUR FACE BABY ITS OKAY DONT FORGET YOUR BAG OR YOUR WIG ITS EVIDENCE

KILL THE 3RD COVER YOUR TRACKS

GOOD BOYYYYYY

carnival with blood on face = killing your insecurities

8 bullets from a 6 chamber????? mm-hm lmao i know @daincrediblegg wrote a thing on this once lmao bestest Egg is smart and i love her muchly 🥰🥰🥰🥰

run baby run, dont ever look backkk... (check yes juliet)

BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE

fuck me against that dirty counter

joker’s waking uuuuuuuup....

that cello though unffff 👌

got me clenchinnnnn you fluidddd ~ 

and in his eyes, all the sadness of the world. those pleading eyes that both threaten and adore (phantom of the opera)

my brain is 90% song lyrics 

hes so graceful and ethereal so full of pain and of love and of adventure and worth and need and yearning

my sweet boy

my wonderful angel

my fallen angel

T POSEEEEE

DAYDREAM KISSSSS

ugh push me against the wall and shove your hand down my panties and take whats yours 

please and thanks

so confident

so smooth

so sure

unf

take me angel im all yours 

and my name is carnival

SASSY BOYYYYY

I SAY BOY BUT YOURE A MAN LMAO 

YESSSSSS TELL THEMMMMMMMM 

LMAOOOOOO RANDALL SEEMS LEGIT CONFUSED PFFFT

TOUGH SHIIIIIIIT

LMAOOO PUNCH OUT

BUSTING A LUNNGGGGG

HE DOESNT KNOW HIS OWN STRENGTH

OR HIS OWN LIMITS

“DONT SMILE”

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

nothin worse than being told to smile when you really wanna bare your teeth and let rip

aka me every fuckin minute of my life 

SHUSH ME SHUSH ME SHUSH ME

ILL CRY BUT DO IT

LMAOOOOO CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BICEPS 

ILL GO OUT DOIN WHAT I LOVE

YOUUUUUUU 

“gotham’s lost its way” ok trump

“thats not funny” SHUT UP PENNY YES IT IS

STOP SMOTHERING ARTHUR LET HIM BE FREE

“nobody ever saw me. even i didnt know if i really existed”

and

“you dont listen do you”

BOTH ARE MOODS

i feel them so hard

hes so sure of himself in this session

so angry and done and weary

“people are starting to notice” ALMOST A YEAR OF YOU BEING NOTICED

that green jumper omggg 

good luck getting me out of it pfffft 

“erika have you seen my - oh, there it is. never mind.”

want it back???? payment is kissessss

EW SEXIST COMEDIAN

arthur honey stop primping youre perfect <3 <3 <3 

im so so proud of youuuuu

COLLARBONEEEEEES

OMG HE STUMBLES UP THE STEPS DARLINGGG

I wish i could hold your hand while youre on stage and comfort you while you deliver your jokes

just breathe, darling. it’s okay. i’m here, i promise. <3 

every time you gag on your laughter my heart clenches

CRYINGGGGG

oh, my love, it’s okay. just breathe. dont fight it. dont fight yourself 

you’re so good at imitating your ma pfffft 

lmaoooo you’re so funny arthur 

WOO BOI DONT FLASH YOUR PORN PAGES AT THE AUDIENCE 

givin me ideas.... 

SMILE THOUGH YOUR HEART IS ACHING

SMILE EVEN THOUGH IT’S BREAKING 

WHEN THERE ARE CLOUDS IN THE SKY

YOU’LL GET BY

SMILE THROUGH YOUR FEAR AND SORROW

SMILE

AND MAYBE TOMORROW

YOULL SEE THE SUN COME SHINING THROUGH

arthur is my sunshine

EXCUSE ME HEART EYES OMGGGG

ME AND ARTHUR HEART EYESING AT EACH OTHER PFFFFFT 

gonna put people off their food doin that 

thats life

arthur’s imitations and those soft curls and the dancing and the - 

erika.exe has stopped working 

“come on dance with me”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

i prefer the horizontal dance myself...

“big date”

“deliver the letter”

NARCISSISM 

ARTHUR YOU DESERVE BETTERRRRRRRRRR

IS IT BAD HIS EYEBROWS TURN ME ON?? SO THICK AND DARK AND STRONG I - 

and those eyes

ugh fuck meeee ~ 

yes thats an invitation

penny “needs care” but her handwriting is that neat???? yeah fuck off 

sorry i dont buy it

she was grooming him i think into some kinda husband role and its fucking gross as fuck she was abusing him and he just wanted her gone 

CUTE LIL NOSTRIL FLARES BC SAD AND ANGRY

OMG

his quiet anger scares me but i admire how he calmed down so fast

angry penguinnnnn

HE CARRIES HIS CLOWN NOSE AROUND IN HIS POCKET

CUUUUUUUTE

the similar clothing colours of arthur and bruce is v def intentional 

in another life, arthur....

i’m so sorry darling you deserved and deserve so much better

legit one small change in anything coulda prevented 80% of this film

your magic tricks are gorgeous ~ 

you’re so funny and soothing and comforting and so good with kids

you are the best party clown

I GASPED AT THE FLOWERS

like my server nameee ~ 

“hi” that soft noise 🥺

arthur’s hands on those bars omg 🥵🥵🥵

okay i’ll admit i still dont get the whole arthur/thomas thing lmao is he his dad???? ive seen this film 10000000 x and i still can’t decide.

i wanna say he is but like ??? idk ??

it’s tragic either way omg arthur’s wasted in gotham

ruuuun arthur run run runnnnnnnn 

the bg music isss 👌👌👌👌

arthur accidentally caused penny’s stroke bc med w/drawal but all that abuse, like ????? i get why he kept her sedated lmao i’d want her knocked out or smthn too

7 meds between the two of them, probably.... that might be why he wanted an increase???

you gotta lie, angel.

you’re in way over your head but lie

yeeees good boy!!

“a clown thing?“ lmaoooo tell them!!!

NO ITS EXIT ONLY

KINDA LIKE MY ASS LMAO NO ANAL FOR YOU 

he just wants love and comfort and for someone to stay omg you sweet thing 

you deserve the world and all the forehead kisses 

TURN THE TV OFF

TURN IT OFF

TURN IT - 

OH TOO LATE

arthurrrrr ~ 

its like a car crash lmao you know its coming but you cant stop looking

fuck off murrat

FUCK OFF SOME MORE

oooooooh thats a danger face....

lowkey want it between my thighs lmao use me to work out your frustrations i can take it 

“kill the rich” lmao relatable 

this film revealed to me that i have a flexible morality ksksksk im all for it though 

sleepy bb ~ 

“we are all clowns” ALSO RELATABLE

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

arthurs thriving in the crowd omg yes baby looks so happy

flashes of joker comin throughhh... 

sneaky baby...

quick on his feet, light on his sense... 

tread lightly on my ground, (abba; andante)

THE RED THEATRE SUIT OMG FORESHADOWWWW

he looks good in red

he looks good out of red too 👀👀

that is the smile of the world’s most precious angel omg babyyyy ~ 

he makes me smile omg hes my sunshine

my love my life 

you saved my soul do you know that??? do you feel me and how much i love you? do you see me and these tears? 

do you feel me like i feel you?

ohhhhh boy here we go asdfdgfhgjhk arthur going to meet his dad, only asking for love and instead he gets punched in the face

i mean i get it bc of what arthur did to bruce with the whole hands in the mouth thing but bruce is barely mentioned, like an afterthought?

thomas has a nasty temper i wouldnt want him for a dad

thomas legit only mentions bruce after he’s punched arthur its like his only thought is really protecting himself and his rep with the whole penny thing

his son comes after; legit as he’s walking away he mentions bruce so hes obvs not that concerned????

shitty dad award lmao

not that what arthur did is okay im not excusing his admittedly misguided and lowkey creepy actions but like ????

lmao prob gonna get hate for this ^^ like i did last time i mentioned it but i dont care im allowed an opinion

too tired to care rn anyways pfffft its storming so bad outside and my wifi has dipped idk if this’ll save

c’mon wifi, for me... 

yes

arthur didnt have an attack til he got called crazy, its a trigger word for him 😭

oh baby its okay, deep breaths.

dont fight your laughter, that’ll make it worse 

the way he bounces back from that punch though - you know how to take it, dont you, my love?

you sweet thing.

i wish i could get you out of that fridge omg baby those old ones lock - how did you get out ????

meds are wearing off now.....

darling say no to the show lmao you dont wanna go

*facepalm*

every time i watch this i hope it turns out different

it never does

arthur honey dont ask questions you dont want the answers to

that clerk was protecting you not letting you see the file

that clerk and gary were the only ones nice to you

but it wasnt enough

you needed love and support and help and guidance 

and instead you got literal and metaphorical punches and no break

the hand puppet omgggg ~ 

i want him to play peekaboo with me when im sad/upset/make a hand puppet over my shoulder aszdxfcghvjbkn

ohhhhhh darling stop reading stop reading stop reading

put it down. 

this entire scene is confusing and heartbreaking

ive seen this film 10000000 x and im still not sure i fully understand

his laughing is so much like sobbing here

omg moonshine its okay you can cry. let it all out. 

newspaper clips in a real file???? mmmm - unprofessional or arthur’s manifestation of news??

🤔

we love pathetic fallacy in this house

i wanna get you in the shower and wash you down and feed you and wrap you in my warm embrace “i had a bad day”

my dark angel, it’s okay. i’m here. i love you and im staying with you no matter what

sophie was his last hope, his last chance to reconnect

again im not excusing it lmao but im saying i understand him

hes touching everything to experience it for the first time

he knows shes a daydream

hes self-aware but he needs his coping mechanisms

we all do it

not the breaking in, i mean the daydreaming 

“i had a bad day” shatters my black, shrivelled heart 💔💔💔💔💔💔

ohhh, darling.

istg you’re the only person i ever fucking coo at 

finger-guns = reconnecting = remember me see me

but i guess to sophie it came across as ominous/creepy??

poor arthur trying so hard to reconnect to people and he just cant do it he doesnt have the social know-how bc no one bothered to ever teach him

again im not saying its okay im just saying

lmao i hate how i always feel like i have to justify myself even before thats called into question pffft the internet is cruel and prev times ive voiced myself ive been sent rude messages and once bitten twice shy

the sword forgets but the tree remembers

hes sobbign and laughing and its gut-wrenching

that neighbour yelling “shut up” better catch these hands imma square up

have some compassion dickwad

you never know what someones going through so be kind

always always be kind

^^^ film takeaway right there

if looks could kill penny would be 6 feet under

OH WAIT LMAOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂

in killing her he sets himself free. but the trauma and the damage done to him leaves him open to more of the same bc hes so vulnerable

that heart-rate monitor went quiet so quickly did he tune it out????

OMG THE WAY HE REHEARSES FOR THE SHOW YOU SWEET MAN OMG YOU DESERVE THE WORLD

sir thats my seat lmao my throne of red

“yeah? all of you? okay” 🤡🤡🤡

us lining up to fuck him into next week 😂

THATS LIFEEEEE ~ 

the fuck kinda hair dye you usin’???

CHOKE ME W THOSE BICEPS

DANCIN TOGETHER IN THE BATHROOM

THOSE HIPS DONT LIEEEEE 👀👀

scissors = pre-med murder but triggered by “my boy” - term used by abusers. 

poor angel’s triggered by lots of things, i think. theres no telling what triggers his violence and thats what makes him dangerous

could be anything and theres also no telling what his “you wronged me” scale is so ??? 

he’s like a kicked dog... lashes out when hes had so much and wont/cant take anymore

“COMING” yeaaaaah i bet....👀

“i stopped taking my medication and i feel a lot better now” GET OUT GET OUT THATS A RED FLAG OUUUUUUUUUUT YOU GO

OOOOOH JOKER’S LAUGH IS OUT - HES MOCKING YOUUUU AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW IT BOY’S SMARTICLES

this is why arthurs so dangerous. he looks lithe and weak and fragile but he takes down a man twice his size with scissors in one hit

do not underestimate him it’ll be the last thing you ever do

I WANNA LICK THE BLOOD OFF HIS FACE

BRITISH ACCENT ON POINT 

LMAO he’d so mock me for mine 😂

“you were the only one who was ever really nice to me” a moral codeeee; flexible morality like meeee ~ 

okay but he so made gary jump bc he knew gary was too scared to move otherwise

loooooving the gallows humour with the door lock PFFFT

gotham slept on arthur dude’s hilarious

OH OMH OMG OMGOMOMGOMGOMGOMGOKMG JOKER JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY CLOWN MY HUSBAND OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

IM CRYINGGGGGGGG

JOKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

I CANT BREATHE FUCK OMFFFFF LOOK AT HIIIIIIM

LOOOOOOOOOK LOOK LOOK ASZDXFCGVHJBKLKJHGFDSZDXFGHJHKJLKJHGFD

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍���😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKER

JOKERJOKERJOKER

LMAO HE’D BE GIGGLING AT ME RIGHT NOW OMGGGG

lmao let randall rot there fuck hiiiiiiim (and not in the fun way)

i want Joker to touch my clit like he did the lift button 👀

ohhhhh look at you having fun on the stairrrs

happy babyyyy ~ 

dancing  towards what you believe to be your death

so glad you changed your punchline at the last minute you didnt deserve to die

SWEET FLAWLESS ANGEL I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

his “oh” when the cops come lmaooooo ~ 

he does that when you grind down hard on him...👀

so used to pain he gets up from being hit by a car and carries on 😔

run baby run...

hes so agile and so quick on his feet

thinks fast too

arthur for fuck’s sake dont you dare stop

you’re almost there, my love.

im so so proud of you

SASSY DANCING ANGELLLL

i love that smug smirk he has and that chuckle omg lmaooooo ~ 

i’d do anything to see you look at me with such pride

ooof you look so angry in the subway but i’d happily cup your face in my hands and smother you in kisses

your eyes red rimmed with tears. youve been sweating and crying ohhhh ~ 

my love omg you didnt want this, you didnt want the riots and you dont know how it spun so outta control and you didnt choose this

i so desperately want to be with you right now

“i dont believe in anything” THATS OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY

I MEAN ITS ALREADY YOURS BUT YOURE STANDING ON IT OUCH

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

“mm-hm” i love that little noise

“i love dr sally” BITCH YOU HAVE A WIFE AT HOMEEEE

“THATS WHAT YOU CALLED ME ON THE SHOW. A JOKER. DO YOU REMEMBER?” THATS SUCH A DANGEROUS LOOK ON HIS PERFECT FACE LMAO MURRAY HAD ONE CHANCE TO CHANGE HIS MIND AND APOLOGISE AND HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT LMAO

fuck ‘em, Joker.

You deserve better

GET

THAT

FUCKING

GUN

AWAY

FROM

YOUR 

FACE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all that pain in his eyes....

oh, darling. how did no one see you????

his backstage dancing got me 💦💦💦

hes so ethereal and mysterious, so free yet so constrained, so beautiful and so himself

i love him i love him i love him i love him

smile playing as he comes out on stage lmao even now hes being told what to do and how to act

hes never free

spinny baby

you spin me right round...

he suits the stage so well

lmao woop sexual assault (kissing dr sally without consent) isnt a good move Joker but damn what a first kiss...

never thought i’d be jealous of an elderly woman but here we are 🤡

he looks so good under the lights omg so crisp....

wanna mess and smear it uuuuup

~

you’re all being mocked and none of you fucking know it lmao get wrecked

memory problems bcof the notebook + “get it right” - he really cares

ohhhhhh baby come on change your punchline, come on....

okay but that drunk driver joke does make me giggle lmao it’s so out there and honestly my sense of humour is just as dark as his is

i just sHIVERED 🥵

“arthur” HE SAID CALL HIM JOKER DONT BE RUDE

ohhhhh i’m cryingggg 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i cant watch this without crying ohhhh all that pain, all that suffering and all that anger, confusion and betrayal. a mental breakdown on nat tv and no one sees him. how the fuck are you all so blind?????

“mur-rray” LMAO YOU FUCK MY NAME I FUCK YOURS

SAY IT JOKER IM SO SO PROUD OF YOUUU

hes speaking facts

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives” and that eye roll and groan yes we stan a dramatic CLOWN

this is fucking heartbreaking omg “i dont care about anything” but then he rants in the next minute - so unpredictable and dangerous and untamed but so so pretty in his pain so beautiful and so free

but hes not free... not really

“werewolf” as a verb omg only you could make that work

im so fucking proud of you

“youre awful murray” ooooooooh....

LMAO JOKER’S JOKE BLEW MURRAT’S MIND

hes crying and shaking and no one ??? sees him ???? how????

i legit dont understand how people just dont see him? people see what they wanna see but it’s right there???

he seems almost surprised by the fact he killed him

YES GRAB MY FACE LIKE YOU DID THE CAMERA PLEASE

IN THE WHITE ROOOOOOOOOM

UGH I LOVE THIS SONG SO FUCKING MUCH ITS SUCH A FEEL GOOD SONG

GOTHAM IS SO PRETTY WHEN ITS ON FIRE OMG ITS SO ALIVE

I LOVE THE ENERGY THIS SCENE GIVES OFF

ITS LIKE HOW JOKER HIMSELF MAKES ME FEEL

ALIVE

his little “hi” like they can hear him 🥺🥺🥺🥺

his laughter omggg sweet angelllllll ~ 

“i know. isn’t it beautiful?” YES IT IIIIIS

AND SO ARE YOU

OH NO OMG NO NO NOPEEEE

this scene always scares me even though i know hes okay pffffft 

the birth of joker lmao

be careful with him please hes precious cargo

omggg i wanna sit on that car and wipe his blood away and help him to get home so i can patch him up

lmao im a scaredy cat til my loved ones are threatened then i scare up this fawn bites

i wanna help Joker to get help and support

i wanna love him through it all, the good and the bad

his slow dancing always gets me omg it’s arthur, still there, still suffering, still unseen and unloved

hes crying and hes in pain

blood smile - my inside is on the outside now and it still hurts

he didnt want any of this. he chose his name ubt not what came with it

my poor clown...... 

CRYINGGGGGG AGAIN

HIS GENUINE LAUGHTER SENDS ME OMG ITS SO PRETTY

i wanna make him laugh like that

it always makes me smile omg those cute lil hiccups 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

THATS LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE

i love the audio muted during the scene he sings it omgg it’s so prettyyyy ~ i like to pretend hes singing to me sometimes asdfghjk

metaphorical or literal blood???

hes accepted who he is now.

hes free

dancing in the white light like an angel

i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love hiiiiiiiiiim ~ 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

~ THE END ~

[lajulie24]

Tramps Like Us

For Han and Leia Appreciation Week 2018 - Day 4, Favorite Quotation. This one goes out to @otterandterrier who got this stuck in my head as a Scoundress song.

They were on the run, again. It was almost a constant these days, like no mission would be complete without including at least one mad dash for their lives.

As they rounded the corner, Han marveled a little at how well Leia could keep up, given the length of his legs compared to hers. And given that he’d been on the run nearly his entire life.

Leia slowed briefly to pick off two of the closest troopers—pew! pew!—then ramped up her pace again to catch up with Han.

His comm buzzed. “Little busy here, Kid,” he said to Luke. “We’re fine, just gotta lose some friends. Yeah, good idea. We’ll catch up.” He and Leia ducked down an alley, one Han hoped wouldn’t be another dead end.

He’d have to remind Luke to downplay this little detour when they got back to base. They’d only recently managed to spring Leia from the cage High Command had tried to keep her in after she’d refused to go into hiding, and hearing about yet another close brush with Imperial troops might inspire them to ground her again.

Which would be colossally stupid. Not only was Leia a hell of an asset in the field, but confining her to the supply closet again would just be a different kind of death sentence. Not that most of them could see that.

“Ha-ha!” Han exclaimed with relief. Not only was the alley free and clear, but there was an extra bonus waiting for them—an unattended speeder bike. Now they could really make up some time.

Hotwiring the starter was a quick job, and Han was about to tell Leia to hop on when he caught sight of the look she was giving the bike. It was almost—hungry.

“You know how to drive one of these?” he asked her, and the hungry look became a stone-faced glare directed at him.  He shook his head. “Stupid question. I’ll shoot,” he said, and he’d barely gotten on behind her when she took off.

Holy hells. She drives crazier than I do, he thought, as she snaked them through alleys, between buildings. “Hold on!” she yelled, taking another sharp curve. Han’s thighs were gripping the speeder for dear life, one hand around Leia’s waist and the other firing at the troopers following them.

Leia’s driving was like—Leia. The best of Leia. Bold, a little reckless, but with a surprising amount of strategy and control. Always a few steps ahead.

It was wild. They were wild, screaming through the boulevards on their way back to the ship, dodging blaster bolts and hearing the wind whip past them at every turn.

In between blasts, Han had somehow managed to get Luke on the comm.

“He made it to Chewie. They’re bringing the Falcon closer,” he yelled in Leia’s ear. “Other side of the—the hell?”

Leia saw it at the same time: looming straight ahead, a traveling fair with a small amusement park, crowded with beings. Both the perfect place to throw off their pursuers, and the worst possible place to lead a pack of Imperial troops.

She made a hard left, heard Han swear behind her but knew he was still holding on. They needed a hiding place, somewhere to stash the bike while they blended in among the fair-goers.

No question this situation was serious business, but Leia couldn’t help feeling a bit exhilarated at the chase. She’d felt wild, free, the speeder bike and the blaster like a part of her being, secure in the knowledge that Han was by her side—or in the present case, right behind her—at every turn.

“There,” he pointed out, like he’d anticipated what she was going to do next. She followed his gesture to a small bend off one of the alleys ahead and slowed the speeder to a stop.

“Hell of a royal drivin’ school they must’ve had,” Han said, and Leia recognized his tone well enough to take it as a compliment. She was examining her hair in the rearview mirror, tucking windblown strands back into her braids. “Hey, what’re you doin’? No time for primping.”

She appraised him quickly, recalling how he’d told her earlier that she was “too polished” to be believable as a fellow smuggler. “You need to get a little rougher,” he’d said. “Dirty.”

She flicked a sweaty piece of hair away from his temple. “You’re a little too rough to be my date for the fair,” she said. She licked her thumb and rubbed a bit of dirt off his cheek. “Need to clean up.”

He grinned at her. “C’mon.”

But Leia had a new idea. A disguise, of sorts. “Give me your vest,” she said, and when he did, she put it on over her own. She untucked his shirt, patting it a bit when she was done. “There. Now you’re messy with purpose.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Now can we go to the fair?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

It felt so strange to be strolling through the fair, Han’s arm draped around her shoulders, like they were a couple out on a date. So slow. Too slow. Something about running felt better, felt right.

She used to like lingering in a feeling, taking time to absorb where she was. Savoring it. But there was no savoring back at base, only time. Too much time to fend off the memories that plagued her brain. Too much time for the sadness that overflowed any container in which she tried to hold it.

Here, at least, it was safe to slow down. Han was her friend. He could protect her, she could protect him. And soon enough they’d be running again.

They passed the hoverwheel, the “Scrambler,” the fortune-telling booth. On the other side of the fair was the clearing where the Falcon was parked. Just a little ways to go, and then they’d be on their way back to base. Another successful mission.

She’d have to remind Luke not to make too much of their little escape.

Then she saw one of the agents pursuing them, and without thinking pulled Han into the closest hiding place she could find.

“Really playin’ it up, aren’t you?” he joked, and that’s when she realized she’d pulled him into the kissing booth.

She didn’t say anything, but directed him with her eyes and a nod to the space outside the booth. He got it, and nodded.

His breathing—both of their breathing—suddenly seemed impossibly loud. And Leia was now aware of how very close Han was to her. They were in each other’s air.

Voices outside the booth came closer, and Leia felt Han’s arm circle her waist, pulling her to him. His other hand, she knew, was at his blaster. She did the same. Pretending couplehood, preparing for battle.

The voices faded away. Either the agent had left, or he’d managed to set up a trap for them. Either way, there was only one thing to do. Han released her waist, his hazel eyes moving down to her face. “Ready?”

She nodded.

They burst out of the booth, blasters ready, tearing off through the rest of the fair, running again. It was madness, it was wild, it was real. It was, in a strange way, joy. They were out on a wire together, the clearing just ahead, the troopers behind them again as they broke away from the crowd.

But Leia no longer cared about the troopers, the danger. 

This is what I was born to do. What he was born to do. They were no longer running away, they were running to. To Luke and Chewie, to the Falcon, to the Rebellion, to each other. To freedom, to life. Baby, we’ll never go back.

Together we can live with the sadness I’ll love you with all the madness in my soul --Bruce Springsteen, “Born to Run”

[emeraldfic]

08

Chris:

One Weeks Later:

Miami: Monday May 21, 2018 8:25 PM

I have one pissed off female sleeping in the room next door to mine, and a jealous female sleeping on my couch and here I am trapped in my room in the middle of it all too damn afraid to go face either of them.

After the weekend in Fort Meyers, I came home to a literal shit show. We couldn’t see Em, our court date was postponed, stormy bailed on my ass because of how sick she was, and on top of it all she was offered the job at her interview and was expected to start two days later so I had to make the best out of my weekend on my own. I thought I would live on that high forever hearing that I would start off the next NBA season as pro.

As soon as I got home though, Mimi was begging me to come back. Literally begging me. And, of course, Stormy was on my ass about the whole situation because of course, she didn’t want Mimi anywhere around... So, here we are in this big ass mess. The first night Mimi crashed on the couch, she threw an entire pity party because she saw Stormy in my bed. And, because I told Stormy that we should respect her feelings and sleep separately now she’s royally pissed off at me making it all the worse.

“Knock knock” Mimi called out poking her head into my room “I’m going out for a few drinks. Will you make sure the door is unlocked for me?”

“Can’t you just use your key?”

“Oh..” she giggled “Duh. Sorry. I guess it’s just a new found habit since being at Deja’s.”

“Yeah, alright. Well be careful.”

As soon as I heard the front door close behind her, I was up out of my bed and on my way to Stormy’s room. I missed being around her, and I was tired of her being mad at me. I gently pushed open her door and quickly closed it behind me. I followed the sound of the shower running and quickly stripped to join her.

“What do you want, Chris?” she muttered as I stepped in behind her.

“To be around you. Baby, I miss you.” I admitted snaking my arms around her. She turned to face me with a plain face “I missed the lips.” i muttered kissing her frown “Quit being mad at me baby.” I pleaded 

“Fine.” she took in a deep breath as her face turned a slight green “I need to get out before I empty my stomach in here.”

“You’re still not feeling well?”

“No. It seems like I feel worse as each day passes.”

“Well, let’s wash up and get in bed so I can make you feel better.”

“Sounds good.” she sighed “But, I have to get ready for work.”

“Work? Now? It’s almost nine?”

“Yeah. I know. I work the bar shift tonight. Nine til two.”

“Man.” I sucked my teeth and stepped back from her “I really don’t like the idea of you out here serving these drunk, sloppy ass niggas.”

“Chris.” 

“Na, I’m serious. I’ll be there at two to get you.” 

“Alright, alright.”

She washed up and was quick to get out but I stayed in a little longer and enjoyed the hot water. When I finally got out, I saw her standing in front of the mirror primping herself. It was cute, and it definitely brought a smile to my face. But that smile quickly faded when I saw the shorts she was wearing. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind knowing damn well she shouldn’t be around them scummy ass drunks in tight clothes like that... but I knew it was a fight I wouldn’t win so I let it go and left her alone to finish getting ready. 

Stormy:

Later in the evening:

The thought of how much I loved my job crossed my mind frequently every day but even more so tonight as I stuffed twenty after twenty into my apron. I’ll admit to myself, but never out loud to Chris, it was difficult to deal with the pervs, but most nights I just dealt with it. It was a lot easier than you think when you get those big bills as a reward for just doing your job and being pretty. Talk about easy money.

“Storm, go ahead and give the last call and wipe down. You’re free to go. Great job tonight. There may be a lot more bar nights for you in the future.” 

“Thanks.” I smiled wide as I wiped down my area and made sure all the glasses made their way back to the dish pit. “You heard ‘em boys, wrap it up. Last call. You don’t gotta go home, but you cant’t stay here.”

When I saw that it was almost 2:30 as I was clocking out, I put some pep in my step and rushed outside...I was really surprised that Chris wasn’t there. I hadn’t realized how tired I was until I sat down on the curb and felt the relief on my feet. Before my eyes passed twenty, and then thirty minutes, and at that point I was just aggravated. Why promise me you’ll be here just to leave me hangin? I gave up on waiting and called for an Uber and thankfully, I was home in less than fifteen minutes. The house was so quiet when I walked in, I figured he’d just fallen asleep on accident so I quickly changed from my work clothes and tip toed over to Chris’ room, but to my surprise his door was locked. I knocked lightly a few times and I was surprised once again tonight to see Mimi poke her head out

“Hi sweetie.” she whispered “What’s up?”

“Baby, what are you doing?” I heard Chris call out

I felt a burst of range roll through me and busted the door the rest of the way open sending Mimi to the ground with an over-dramatic shriek. When he saw me standing there his face dropped.

“Screw you Chris!” I spat

“Stormy...”

He called after me but I ignored him. I didn’t want to hear anything else either of them had to say. I locked my bedroom door and crawled into bed with tears falling down my face, and before I knew it I was sobbing into a drenched pillow.

The next times my eyes opened, it was almost three in the afternoon. I wanted to hide out in bed all day until I had to work but I desperately needed advil which just so happened to be in the kitchen drawer. It sounded fairly quiet out there so I made a rush for it. Just as I was walking though the living room, I heard their voices raise from the kitchen.

“Mimi I don’t know why you’re so damn pissed at me!” Chris snapped “You knew she and I were messing around”

“But you said you wanted to be with me again!”

“Dammit I do!” Chris huffed “She had fair enough reason to be upset last night! It all caught her off guard. It’s not my damn fault she barged in and pushed you. Besides, you’re just fine.”

“Are you seriously sticking up for her right now? You know the damage she could have done Chris!”

“Mimi she doesn’t mean anything to me! Okay! She was just a hook up. Nothing more. I will talk to her later and explain.”

“You promise?”

“Yes baby, I promise.”

I hurried back to my room and sat there too afraid to move. I felt like the next move I made my heart would break into a million pieces and it was making me sick to my stomach.I felt like I could hardly breathe. I barely made it to the bathroom as my stomach was turning on me. After emptying my stomach for the third time, I heard Chris walk in behind me.

“Stormy, are you okay?”

“Get out! Get away from me Chris!:

“Stormy...” he sighed “Can we please talk?”

“Talk? You wanna talk? Okay. Let’s talk about how you left me stranded at work at two thirty in the morning! All alone! Mind you, right after you preached to me about how worried you were for me to work that shift. And then, to come home and see that? I don’t think we have anything else to talk about Chris.”

“Please...”

“Then what!?” I snapped “What else could you possibly have to say to me right now?”

“She’s pregnant, Stormy. Mimi’s carrying my child.”

“What?” I shouted

You have got to be fucking kidding me!

[eulaliasims]

Replies re: pink flashing and gameplay posts. ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

@immerso-sims replied to your photoset “Emilio’s new life away from the bustle of the semi-urban Greenwich...”

'growing weed and eating grilled-cheese sandwiches' if that ain't half of my ex-groupmates at uni lol

Nothing but the finest realism for my game!

@didilysims replied to your photoset “They get a little distracted, but then! After two years, they’ve...”

History is made!!

lol, I think this means I have to actually finish writing the ghost hunting career I started, uh... two years ago probably.

didilysims replied to your photoset “Mary: All I’m saying is, there’s only so many toys one baby can play...”

Some of the spare toys are highly flammable.

So THAT’s where the teddy bear in the bonfire comes from!!

didilysims replied to your photoset “Autumn means it’s time for Ella’s sweater to make its reappearance....”

Re: syncing up with real seasons--I feel you.

We’re just doing it for the... realism? Authenticity? I’ll go with authenticity.

didilysims replied to your photoset  “Hunter: Aren’t you living in the woods? Emilio: I have this thing,...”

Cemetery wedding, Hunter!! Cemetery wedding!

Cemetery wedding! CeMETery wedding! CEMETERY WEDDING! *bangs fists on desk*

I’m still waiting on one of them to roll an engagement want. Seems like most of their peers have been rolling them (ok, Emilio and Claire/Claire’s BF, anyway), so idk. Maybe they just want to focus on other things. 🤔

@nerianasims replied to your post  “Hello! I love all the (S)images you share! It’s so nice to see them...”

My pink flashing was fixed for good when I turned shadows off, on top of all the other recommendations. The game still looks good, but not as good as it did before the horrible Fall Creators' Update (which messed up way more than just Sims 2.) I'm saving up for a new/old computer with Windows 7 for Sims 2.

I’ll keep that in mind if mine starts back up again! Yeah, I’ve heard it screwed up a lot of stuff, including other games. Luckily TS2 was the only thing on my PC it messed with. Tbh, I think a used computer with 7 is a solution a lot of simmers will be looking for--you’re not the first person I’ve heard that from.

I actually liked Windows 10 a lot at first, but since that update, I feel like new releases tend to screw with something or other on my PC. Also not a fan of the times I put it to hibernate instead of closing all my work, walked away for a couple hours, and came back to find Windows had turned on and closed everything anyway so it could update during the time span it’s specifically set not to update in. :’)

@decafsims replied to your post  “Hello! I love all the (S)images you share! It’s so nice to see them...”

Ive gotta agree with your Win 10+Nvidia+Sims 2 not working together theory bc I got tons of pink flashing when I still had ~10k GB CC lasdkl I wish they were more compatible

It just seems to be Nvidia cards that show up most in problem posts! But maybe it’s confirmation bias on my part? Anyway, come on TS2, let us shove all the CC and shiny graphics in you, it’s just b/c we love you so much. :(

@dreadpirate replied to your post  “Hello! I love all the (S)images you share! It’s so nice to see them...”

I have Win10 + a mid-range laptop NVIDIA card + 10GB of CC, and what kept me relatively pinkless is reducing my resolution + having NVIDIA handle smooth edges (turning off smooth edges in game settings) + reducing view distance depending on how large the lot I'm playing is

Good tips! I’ve definitely started keeping the view distance on medium or smaller most of the time. Which makes me sad, because I like to see the scenery around lots, but I also like being able to play.

immerso-sims replied to your photo   “Phineas: What do you think about cake for dinner? Emilio: I say go for...”

Awww that look. And also yes, cake for dinner - always. :D

His face when looking at Finn is just so sweet all the time. 💕

@dramallamadingdang replied to your photo  “After Carlos heads home, Emilio takes a moment to primp before meeting...”

He's goooooin' to the chapel and he's...goooona get ma-a-a-ried... Or so he thinks, anyway. :)

He’s definitely got wedding bells on the brain! He’s rolled that want for Peeta (the redhead) once before, but, like... Peeta isn’t as interesting as Finn. :P

dramallamadingdang replied to your photoset   “Spotted: Clara chatting with local cultist; and the park has acquired...”

I miss your game! I missed a chunk because Tumblr "helpfully" unfollowed you for me and it took me a while to realize it, and then I just haven't been keeping up with Tumblr in general. I need to just go to your blog and binge on it one of these days. If nothing else, I have no idea what's currently up with JAYNE! ;) And these pics are pretty, with the fall color. We need MOAR seasonal plants. MOAR!

Hi! Maybe someday Tumblr will stop unfollowing people for us and that will be the first sign of the apocalypse. :D Ben-Jayne hasn’t shown up for a few months, so you’re probably not behind there, don’t worry. And thank you--I love the fall colors. It helps me pretend it’s not still 80 degrees out here. :’)

moocha-muses replied to your photo  “After Carlos heads home, Emilio takes a moment to primp before meeting...”

How many husbands can he fit out there in the woods?

Currently, none! The cabin def needs some expansions first.