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blog-name-idk · 2 years

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Mold a Pretty Lie | 07

Pairing: professor!Jin x Fem undergrad!Reader

Genre: College!AU, Unhealthy relationships, toxic relationships, virgin reader, eventual yandere, eventual smut

Summary: They say love is like a garden that requires regular care and attention. Kim Seokjin, your kind and handsome professor, is more than happy to cultivate the vines that bind his heart to yours.

Word Count: 4139

Rating: 18+

~~~~~

"Heyyy! Lookin' good [Y/n]!" called Ashley, waving as she made her way past rows of other students with their posters. You perked up at the sight of someone new. The judging professors had long since come by and asked you questions about your research, and you were now just twiddling your thumbs and wondering how long you were supposed to stay at your station.

"Me or my poster?" you asked with a laugh when she was close, dodging when she tried to ruffle your hair.

"Both! But I already knew your poster was going to be good."

You beamed at the upperclassman's praise. Ashley was one of those people who seemed both effortlessly cool and brilliant, whose casual confidence was something you hoped to achieve one day.

You opened your mouth to respond, only to be distracted by three familiar faces.

"Sierra? Tae? Jimin?" you asked in surprise, not having expected any other visitors. "What are you doing here?"

"You've worked so hard on this all semester, of course we wouldn't miss it!"

Your roommate rolled her eyes as if offended you even had to ask, and you felt warmth bloom in your chest. She said it so matter-of-factly, like it was a given, and you were overcome with appreciation for your friends.

You could count on one hand the number of times anyone had shown up for your achievements. When you had landed the leading role as Sandy in your middle school production of Grease – which, why had that even been a thing when they had to remove all references to "inappropriate" topics – your dad had to work the whole weekend while your mother drove your older sister's high school volleyball team to regionals. When you placed first in your high school science fair, the only one there to cheer you on was Phoebe - mostly because everyone in your grade had been forced to participate.

You were the second child, the one whose good grades were unremarkable because your older sister got them first. Your issues were overlooked or forgotten because you weren't as loud and dramatic as your younger sister.

You knew your parents loved you, but it still hurt to feel like an afterthought when all you ever wanted was for them to at least acknowledge your successes even half as much as they did when baby Brooke got a B on her final English paper. Yes, she had worked hard when her grades had been in the gutter, but hadn't you worked just as hard the entire year?

The fact that your three new friends had taken time out of their day to come to some weird academic showcase you hadn't even officially invited them to – well, it was affecting you much more than you would have thought.

"Whoa, hey, are you okay?"

Taehyung was suddenly in front of you, his hand on your arm and you realized your eyes were suddenly burning with tears.

"Um," you hiccuped, taking a deep breath to keep your emotions at bay. "I'm just - thanks for coming, it really means a lot."

"Awww you're so cute," cooed Ashley, wrapping her arms around you from behind and shaking you obnoxiously from side-to-side.

"Oh my god, get off," you wheezed with a laugh, secretly grateful for the distraction from your inconvenient influx of feelings. "Guys, this is Ashley. She's my TA and works with Dr. Kim too."

"Nice to meet you all," she said with a grin, freeing you from her grip to wave cheerfully at the newcomers. "Glad to see [Y/n] has such good friends, mine wouldn't come even if I begged."

"Well we love [Y/n]!" piped Sierra, so enthusiastically you blinked. "I mean, platonically. At least I do. I mean, we're good friends. Just friends."

You, Taehyung, and Jimin stared at the normally unflappable Sierra and her uncharacteristic babbling. Then you looked at Ashley, whose lips were twitching.

"What did you say your name was?" asked your TA, cocking her head and smiling. You were suddenly reminded that Ashley was very attractive and very much into women. It was just hard for you to notice other people when Dr. Kim was right there.

"I'm Sierra," your roommate replied a little breathlessly, though she seemed to have at least found an additional brain cell to keep her stable.

"Were you interested in any of the other projects?" asked Ashley nonchalantly. "I could walk you through them."

"I mean, if you don't mind," Sierra replied, trying - and failing - to appear just as nonchalant. With a cheery wave, Ashley took Sierra's hand and ushered her away before anyone else could get a word in.

"Wow," was all Jimin said as he watched them leave. He sounded so admiring that you found yourself giggling. "I want to be her when I grow up."

"Are you sure you don't want to go with them?" you teased, absolutely tickled that your roommate and your TA might be hitting it off. You had never seen Sierra so wide-eyed before, and it was incredibly endearing.

"We came to see you," Taehyung replied with his usual easy grin. You smiled back, feeling warm and fuzzy. Even after that uncomfortable exchange with Taehyung, he and Jimin had continued pestering you during and after lectures. They toned down the flirting, but otherwise still treated you the same way as before. The only reason you hung out less these days was because you were so busy with finals and this project.

It went a long way toward soothing the hurt and uncertainty you had felt at Dr. Kim's well-meaning - but likely unfounded - concern. You'd given no indication that your decision had changed, and yet they had even come to a boring science showcase to show their support.

So when you realized Taehyung's hand was still on your arm, you didn't move away.

"Well, do you want to hear about my incredibly exciting research on ocean temperatures?" you joked, only for the boys to nod.

"Please enlighten us, Professor [L/n]," said Jimin, a mischievous grin on his pouty lips. "What could possibly have been interesting enough to keep you working on this instead of hanging out with us?"

You rolled your eyes at his dramatics, though you were unable to keep the smile off your face.

"Oh you know, mass extinction, the loss of ecosystems, and the eventual impact it'll have on human society," you replied, giving him an innocent smile.

"Okay, but do those ecosystems steal you late night pizza from the cafeteria?" asked Taehyung teasingly, making you laugh and shake your head.

"I guess you two have your uses," you teased. Jimin gasped in mock-affront, making you laugh again. You missed hanging out with these two.

"I'm glad some people are having fun today."

You jumped and turned to see Dr. Kim behind you. He was smiling, but his normally twinkling eyes looked a little sharper when they zeroed in on how close the boys were standing, and for a moment you felt like you were doing something wrong. Then you shook off the odd sensation.

It was probably just because as far as Dr. Kim knew, Taehyung had been toying with you while juggling other girls. Not to mention the ill-considered kiss you definitely did not lie awake at night kicking yourself over.

But Jimin had actually pulled you aside separately to explain to you exactly what happened during the conversation Dr. Kim had seen. He had been uncharacteristically serious, telling you he wasn't trying to change your mind, just that he wanted you to have all the information because Taehyung didn't want to seem like he was pushing you to forgive him. Jimin had also assured you that whatever you decided, they did still want to be friends, and he'd tone his behavior down.

Oddly enough, the conversation in which Jimin assured you that you were still important to him even if you didn't have feelings for him, was enough for you to start seeing him in a different light. You had always enjoyed his presence and his teasing attitude, but he seemed so flighty and flirty that it was hard to take him seriously. His obvious care and consideration - not just towards you, but to Taehyung - showed you he could be thoughtful when necessary.

The Kiss Incident - well, it was a one-off mistake, a blip in the otherwise normal trajectory of your college life. Dr. Kim himself had said it couldn't happen again. Even if he had enjoyed it. Well, more specifically said "it wasn't entirely unwelcome," but you would let your daydreams exist where they could.

And anyway, even if Dr. Kim was just concerned about Taehyung or Jimin messing with you, it was your business. He was your professor, not your father (not that either of your parents checked in very often anyway) or… or any other type of role that gave him the right to comment on your personal life.

So why, when he looked at you with those dark eyes, did you feel the urge to assure him that nothing was going on with the boys?

Was it because no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get the brief pressure of his lips as he reciprocated the kiss out of your mind? Or because sometimes when you caught his eye, his perfect lips curved into a smirk that made your mouth go dry?

Despite his words - of his kind, humiliating rejection and insistence that nothing of the sort could ever happen again - Dr. Kim's behavior still confused you. The sporadic touches when he was close, the little gifts he'd leave you, the way the occasional compliment slipped from his lips and left you stammering. It was enough that you couldn't shed your feelings, or keep him from your mind long enough to think about starting something with anyone else. Not that anything had even "started" with him.

You weren't immune to Taehyung and Jimin's charm and good looks. And getting to know their personalities just made you like them more. Taehyung's kisses made you weak, and Jimin's flirting could set your heart racing, but neither of them consumed your mind like Dr. Kim. He had somehow wormed his way into every crack and crevice of your brain, like the creeping ivy that grew atop the walls of your dorm.

"Aren't you supposed to be into this stuff, Professor?" asked Taehyung with a grin, not registering anything amiss with the intensity of Dr. Kim's gaze.

"Unfortunately judging several presentations isn't always the definition of a good time," the older man replied lightly, though the set of his mouth told you he wasn't in as good of a mood as he sounded. His eyes focused back onto you, and his smile became more genuine. "And I can't even evaluate the one I know will be good, because it would be a conflict of interest."

You really did not need to hear your professor say something about a conflict of interest while smiling at you like that. You had too many delusional fantasies blooming in your head already to allow another one to take root.

"Well Professor, in your unprofessional opinion, how do you think I rank?" you asked tentatively, peeking at his face and your heart flutter when he smiled back at you.

"Definitely first!" chirped Jimin, slinging his arm around you in a show of support you wished could have waited for a more opportune time. Still, it was an innocent enough gesture, and you were genuinely happy he had come.

"Thanks, Jimin," you said with a laugh.

"Well, I might be biased," Dr. Kim teased, so casual you wondered if you had imagined the way his eyes flashed. "But I do believe this is one of the best projects in the category."

"Really?" you breathed, his praise making you turn towards him like a flower to the sun. Jimin's arm around your shoulder reminded you not to make a complete fool out of yourself.

"Of course," your Professor replied. "We'll find out soon enough, in any case. Everyone has turned in their evaluations."

"Oh hey Prof! I thought you were evaluating the other room!"

Ashley announced her arrival with her typical aplomb, a smiling Sierra in tow. You raised an eyebrow at your roommate, grateful for the distraction, your friend winked.

"We finished, so I thought I'd come see how [Y/n] was doing," Dr. Kim replied. "Though it seems she has all the support she needs."

He said it lightly, like a joke. No one else seemed to notice anything amiss, not even Ashley, but the way his eyes met yours briefly made you uncertain.

"Of course, we're her personal cheer squad," Taehyung announced, draping his arm over your other shoulder and bringing you in for a one-armed hug. Jimin squawked when the action pulled you away from him, and tugged you back towards him in a playful tug-of-war.

Sierra and Ashley laughed at their antics as you struggled to get free, complaining you weren't a yo-yo.

"But you're so fun to play with," teased Jimin, the most suggestive thing he had said in weeks. You knew he didn't mean it that way – his tone was more playful than smooth – but you couldn't help but peek at Dr. Kim out of the corner of your eye.

He had been pulled aside by another professor, and you weren't sure whether you felt relieved or disappointed that he seemed to have missed the exchange. Then you forced yourself to pay attention to your friends, because you realized that once again you were being a selfish idiot.

When the results were announced, you were dogpiled by your friends while Ashley cheered by your side. For a moment you felt eyes burning into the back of your head, but when you turned, all you saw was Dr. Kim smiling and offering you congratulations.

~~~~~

The airport was bustling with holiday travel, and you felt a little overwhelmed by the crowd. You chewed your lip as you scanned the lines, hoping to see your broad-shouldered professor, to no avail. This was supposed to be the spot you, Dr. Kim, and the other student-professor pair met up at before going through security together, and yet no one was in sight.

For a moment panic filled you. Were you late? Was this the wrong airport? Oh no, what if it was the wrong day and you had already missed the flight?

"[Y/n], were you waiting long?"

A familiar voice cut through your anxiety and you let out a sigh of relief as you turned to greet your professor.

"I just got here," you assured him, resisting the urge to cling to his arm to make sure he wouldn't leave. "Where are Dr. Li and Jason?"

"They unfortunately both came down with the flu," said Dr. Kim ruefully. "I got the call this morning. One probably got it from the other."

You gulped. A weekend alone with your beautiful professor? Well, not alone alone, since most of the days would be taken up by the conference activities, but without the buffer of two strangers you were a little worried about how the state of your crush would be by the end.

"Oh," you squeaked, looking down at your carry-on. It was just a three-day trip, you could do this. It would be totally fine. You were breezy.

The mantra carried you through the security line, where you tried not to stare as your professor removed his jacket and shoes. It bolstered you through the walk to the gate, when he asked if you needed anything and bought you a water anyway. It lasted through boarding, when he smiled and asked if you wanted the window seat.

You buckled the funny-looking seatbelt, scolding yourself for being disappointed that Dr. Kim had left the middle seat empty between you. If he had, his warmth might have distracted you from the not-as-pleasant butterflies fighting to the death in your gut as you discovered that you might have a tiny fear of flying.

As the overly cheery safety and thank-you-for-flying-with-us video began to play, your traitorous brain decided to latch onto keywords like "if a water landing is needed" and "life jackets" and "oxygen masks". Was the plane getting warmer? You stole a surreptitious glance at the people sitting in the exit row seat and wondered if they could be trusted to assist in the event of an emergency.

Still, you had to pat yourself on the back. Despite the rising panic you felt inside, you were able to smile and laugh absentmindedly at Dr. Kim's jokes, even if his voice is starting to feel a little far away. Until the plane began to move and your hands latched onto your arm rests.

"Are you alright?"

Your professor was eyeing you in concern, and you tried to relax your white-knuckled grip. But – oh god the plane was speeding up and what if something went wrong or a wing fell off or the engine exploded or –

"[Y/n]."

Dr. Kim's voice was soft in your ear – when did he change seats? Your breaths were coming in short, frantic pants and for once it wasn't his proximity that was making your heart pound.

"Can you hear me?" he asked, hands on your shoulders and warm eyes fixed on yours. He was close enough that you could hear him over the rumble of the plane and the cotton static in your ears, and you clung to his voice like a lifeline. You opened your mouth to respond, which was when you felt the plane lift off the ground. You snapped your eyes and lips shut, wondering why, of all things, you were going to die of a heart attack at the tender age of eighteen.

A soft touch on your face startled you enough for you to open your eyes again, and you vaguely registered that Dr. Kim's hand was cupping your cheek.

"Try to breathe with me," he murmured, making a big show of puffing out his chest as he inhaled. You would have giggled had you not been on the edge of hyperventilating. Still, you did your best to obey your professor despite the tightness in your chest, and he didn't scold you when your breath hitched or you gasped or messed up the rhythm.

You weren't sure how long he stayed like that, breathing with you and stroking your cheek gently with his thumb, but eventually your breath evened out and you realized the plane was no longer shaking or rumbling so much. You winced as you tried to relax your hands from the vice-like grip you had on the armrests, flexing your fingers to try to relieve the stiff ache in your joints.

"There's my girl," whispered Dr. Kim softly, smiling at you. His hand was warm on your skin, and his words sank into you like a rock tossed into the ocean. One that was still falling to depths unknown.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked, making you swallow whatever had been at the tip of your tongue. Instead you nodded, feeling your lower lip drag between your teeth as you tried to think around the cotton-like fatigue weighing down on your head. Dr. Kim's eyes flickered to your mouth at the action, and for a moment something dark bloomed in his gaze.

"Sir, please fasten your seatbelt."

You both jumped at the pleasant, professional voice of the flight attendant, and Dr. Kim apologized as he settled into the seat and clicked the clasp into place. You were incredibly relieved he remained next to you. It wasn't even for your daydreams, at this point - his solid presence was comforting, and even if the flight had evened out you were still tense.

"T-thank you," you mumbled, suddenly embarrassed by your inability to do something as simple as sit in a chair. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Dr. Kim replied, smiling gently and patting your arm. It was a far cry from the way he had been so tenderly stroking your cheek, but you felt butterflies all the same. "I'm sorry, I didn't know flying was hard for you."

"I didn't either," you said with a self-conscious laugh. "This is my first time."

"Ah," your professor replied in understanding, hand still on your arm. "Well-"

A ding sounded over the speaker system, and a voice spoke.

"This is your captain speaking. We are about to enter into a patch of turbulent air, so please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts."

"Oh," you said faintly, wondering if this was your karma for lusting after your professor. Perhaps you deserved this.

"Do you want-" Dr. Kim began, looking at you with concern, before the plane jolted and you let out a humiliating whimper, squeezing your eyes shut.

It was an even bigger shock when you felt a strong arm encircle your shoulder and pull you into a very firm, very broad, very wonderful-smelling chest.

"It'll be okay," your professor murmured into your ear as his other hand stroked your hair gently. You drew in a shuddering breath, enveloped by his warmth and his scent. Then the plane lurched again, and you wondered if it was possible to be simultaneously in heaven and hell.

"S-sorry," you managed to choke, trying to breathe the way Dr. Kim had earlier. Another lurch had you gripping your professor's shirt for dear life, and his arm tightened, pressing you more securely against him. "I know in my head it's fine, I just - "

"Shh, I understand," he said soothingly, his chest rumbling soothingly against your cheek. You hated your brain for deciding flying was a problem so you couldn't properly enjoy what was probably a one time pity thing. Then again, this wouldn't be happening otherwise.

"I'm here for you, okay?" Dr. Kim was a steady source of reassurance, full of encouraging words and soft touches. "Always."

~~~~~

You stirred against Seokjin's chest, and he shushed you gently. To his mixed relief and dismay, you snuggled closer with a cute little grumble, and he felt those vines constrict around his chest.

He had somehow managed to soothe you to sleep earlier, and he hoped you stayed like this for the remainder of the flight. For your own sake, not because your body nestled against his so perfectly.

He hadn't expected you to have a fear of flying - neither did you, apparently - and he hated seeing you so distressed. Though the way you obeyed him, the way you looked at him with total trust in your eyes did send a dark tendril of satisfaction purring through his veins.

He had almost lost himself in that moment. You were so beautiful, and he felt himself drawn like a bee to honey.

Seokjin's mind had been more troubled than usual of late, since the Honors showcase where you won second place and a junior won first. Since he had seen for himself that those two college whelps had wormed their way back into your good graces like the pests they were proving themselves to be.

It had been infuriating to watch the shameless way they flirted with you. Jagged thorns had pricked through his chest at the sheer nerve, and when they had pulled you between them like a prize to be won, the thorny briars had blossomed into something ugly and bitter.

It was clear you weren't used to being cared for or doted on, if the little hints and snippets he had gotten were anything to go by. You had been so shocked when he addressed the bullying at the beginning of the semester, as if you had never had anyone stick up for you.

You deserved - needed - better. Someone to take care of you, who appreciated just how special you were. Someone you could trust, who had your best interests at heart.

It irked Seokjin more than he wanted to admit, that he knew so little of you outside of academics. He wanted to read through every page of your life he hadn't had access to, wanted to see you through those still unwritten.

If he let you be, would the next person tend you the way you needed? Or would they take and take like a parasite until you wilted to nothing?

You shifted against him, soft and sweet, a perfect flower begging to be plucked. He found his hand tracing the curve of your cheek again.

Seokjin wondered just how much more you might consume his thoughts after a weekend together. The vines in his chest constricted at the thought of how you would have fared on this trip without him. The way you clung to him, the way you needed him.

It should have worried him. Yet all he felt was more fondness and concern for you sinking roots ever deeper into his veins.

~~~~~

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Tags: @moonleeai @random-and-out-of-context @amenjiminsan @innebulae @seoqity @lilacdreams-00 @chowb @shescharlie @mazmaz30 @definetlythinkimanalien @seokjins-luigi @lucci-girl @xicanacorpse @bighitbabie @8loominghell @jung-nika-hoseok @staradorned @zealouslightcookiebasketball @kissme-ornot @dyhrbls @nabiolive

#bts imagines #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts jin #bts x reader #bts x you #kim seokjin x reader #bts x y/n #bts smut #kim seokjin smut #jin x reader #bts yandere #yandere seokjin

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noodyl-blasstal · 1 year

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Blupjeans Week: Bet (day 2)

It's @blupjeansweek day 2. This follows on from yesterday's prompt. You can also read on Ao3

"It's going to be fine."

"Easy for you to say, you just casually revolutionised thermodynamics, you're gonna walk your viva." Barry could hear Lup rolling her eyes at that one, though he stayed resolutely focused on the raggedy copy of his thesis which was, at this point, 70% sticky notes. Could he read what any of them said because of how much they overlapped? Shut up.

"Natch, evocation is never going to be the same thanks to cha'girl's research, but that doesn't meant you're going to fail, Barold."

"No, they're just going to MPhil me out."

Lup sighed heavily. "Oh no, you worked hard and gained mastery in a subject, how terrible, what an embarrassment."

Barry did look up then, didn't she get it? He’d thought she’d get it. It was an embarrassment! She’d watched him put so much into this, the stupid well thumbed, badly bound paper stack represented four years of late nights, early mornings, cancelled plans, 3am anxiety… he thought she understood. She’d lived it with him, they were working for the key to the next level, if they gave him the wrong one what was even the point? "You think…?"

"I'm being flippant because that's not going to happen. Once again, I've read your work my guy, it's good, in fact, it’s great. In fact, right now, you’re arguing with established fact.” Barry grimaced as Lup spoke, but she ploughed on. “... you've already published three chapters of this thing in peer reviewed journals. 6/6 esteemed peer reviewers agree!"

"But they publish bad science all the tim…"

Lup cut him off. "Barry stop. You know you’ve done good science because a) I would have told you if you hadn’t, and b) peer reviewers might be lazy but you’re not. You know your submissions were solid, just look at the citations.”

“But…” She was right. But Barry still struggled, sure she hadn’t said anything incorrect, he knew he’d done solid work, but he also just knew that he’d fucked this up.

“...But what? But maybe they're idiots who can't recognise genius? They're gonna recognise it, Barry. It's impossible not to recognise how brilliant you are. That thesis is just you yelling “I’m Barry Bluejeans and I know what the fuck I’m talking about, pay me money about it.” Plus, publish a few more chapters and you can do PhD by publication without those losers to worry about anyway."

Barry didn’t even register the second part because Lup thought he was brilliant! Lup thought he was brilliant and she was telling him and he kept shutting her down instead of just being grateful about it. Maybe if he tried to accept the compliment. "Than…"

Lup started speaking at the same time. "In fact…" She paused to let him speak, but he shook his head and gestured to her, he could try being gracious another day. "... Okay, if you're sure." He nodded. "I think, Baraldo, that we should make a bet, you and I. I may as well profit from all this self doubt, so I bet you're gonna pass with no corrections."

Barry laughed bitterly. Whatever she was betting she'd be losing. "Lup, I'm going to fail."

Lup shoved his shoulder gently. "You're not and you know it. Be serious."

"Oh, like yours was serious?"

Lup's ears flicked back defensively. "Serious? Barry, c'mon. Obviously we all know cha’girl’s out here shaping the future of evocation, but you're doing magic within magic on all your spooktacular stuff. The chapter on spell wheels? I'd never considered it, and even if I had, I definitely would have taken at least 10 minutes longer than you to come up with something so elegant. You know what you're doing, I know what I'm doing, it's why we're such a great team."

They did make a great team. They’d met the first day of undergrad at orientation. Barry the lone mature student in a sea of babies, then Lup and Taako had appeared, and sure there was The Nerd Incident, but they cleared that pretty fast. They coincided in most classes, worked together in labs, and powered their way through a ridiculous amount of higher education together. There hadn’t been any question about it when the option of choosing housing came up, they lived together off campus and were joined by a rotating cast which had pretty much always featured Taako (well, until this year), but LupAndBarry, BarryAndLup? They were a constant, they worked. “We do work well together.”

“You can say that again.” Lup glared at him as he opened his mouth to repeat it. “...And you know exactly how smart I am, right?” Lup asked. Barry could taste the trap-ness of this question, she was an angler fish and the question was a beautiful little light, he was going to answer it honestly and wholly and she was going to chomp him down with her big clever teeth.

“You’re incredible Lup, your research is amazing and you’re passionate and eloquent and so smart…”

Lup’s teeth closed. “Then you know I know my shit well enough to know your shit’s good, so, what’s your bet?”

“I pass with major corrections?”

Lup raised an eyebrow. “Question, or an answer?”

“I pass with majors.”

“Fine. If you want to lose whatever you’re betting then be my guest, Bluejeans.”

“I don’t think I have anything you want.” Barry said, and he wasn’t sure, it was a ridiculous thought, but he could have sworn that Lup’s ears reddened at the tips. She coughed loudly, then almost shouted “Jeans.”

“What?”

Lup coughed again and spoke in a softer tone. “I get rights to your wardrobe. I know your jeans are comfier than mine.”

Barry hesitated. He’d already lost a good chunk of his shirts and sweaters to Lup. Not that he minded most of the time, he usually managed to steal his favourites back briefly on laundry day, but his jeans? He only had three pairs and they all served specific purposes in his life, he couldn't afford to sacrifice them, no matter how cute Lup would look in them. But, <;i>but</i>, there was no way he was actually going to pass without corrections, everyone at least got minors and Barry's supervisor definitely didn't think he'd even manage that. According to the available evidence, this seemed like a safe bet. "Deal!"

Lup grinned big and wide and dangerous . "GuyWhoJustLostHisJeansSaysWhat."

"What?" Barry asked.

Lup snickered. "Just asking what you wanted from me if your externals are somehow struck incapable of recognising brilliance?"

Oh... yeah, Barry had forgotten this part. Lup's brash overconfidence in his abilities had essentially signed her up to do whatever he wanted. He could stick her with dish duty for the next hundred years; make her actually use the dregs of her body wash before she moved onto the next one so the edge of the shower wasn't a terrifying pile of upside down barely balanced bottles; he could ask her to tell him whether there was an expiration date on their whole thing, whether the end of study meant different directions and fond memories, phone calls which dwindled as she remembered less and less… "You have to come home with me." He blurted out the thought before he could properly consider what he was asking. Was that too much? Oh it was probably too much. A trip home meant a road trip, motels, meeting his Mum. There was no way Marlena wouldn't pick up on exactly how he felt about Lup, not that she hadn’t already, but it was easier to lie on the phone. Plus, there was no way his Mum wouldn't love Lup too. How could anyone not? Then he’d only disappoint her when Lup moved on with her life and left him behind. Maybe he could back track, do the dishes thing instead…

"You have yourself a deal, Mr Bluejeans, may as well use that title one last time. Now, I have some outfits to plan, go eat the sandwich I made you, then I'll help with the last minute prep." Lup disappeared in the direction of Barry's room.

Barry resigned himself to losing another few shirts while Lup investigated his wardrobe and obediently shuffled his way to the kitchen. It was definitely time to eat, he wasn't entirely sure when he last did… probably the last time Lup shoved food at him. He definitely had to thank her when this was over.

"...And why did you decide on Necrostics?" Lup looked expectantly at Barry.

"It was the most logical methodological approach as it incorporates acknowledgement of the agency held by constructs and the undead while also acknowledging the influence of social and summoning factors. I modified the approach to ensure it was appropriately controlling for the new spells I developed."

Lup clapped her hands delightedly.

"It was that good an answer?" Barry asked.

"It's that good a wardrobe. I cannot wait to get my hands on it, Barold, you're gonna be living in your pants… although…" Lup narrowed her eyes.

"Absolutely not, no!"

Lup shrugged. "You can't watch your stuff all the time, Barry. Cha'girl needs some new sleep shorts."

Barry felt his face flame at the thought of Lup sleeping in his clothes, Lup wanting to. "I'd better go now!" He said, too fast and too loud. "Gotta go get it over with."

Lup jumped up. "Cool, I'll grab my book and and few other bits and come with. There's some comfy chairs in the corridor with my name on them."

Oh. Lup was going to come with him. Lup was going to wait for him. "You don't have t…"

"I want to."

–

"Good luck Barold, you've got this." Lup hugged him firmly, he squeezed back. If he didn't let go he didn't have to go into the scary room. Can't defend your thesis if you’re in the middle of a hug, that’s just science. Lup pulled back slightly, then dipped her head to kiss him on the cheek.

Barry didn't have time to react before Lup pulled away and planted herself across the corridor chairs, head buried in her book.

"Are you ready, Mr Bluejeans?" A voice asked from the door behind him. All Barry could do was touch a hand to his cheek, turn, and nod.

–

"Congratulations again, Dr Bluejeans, this may be the most enjoyable viva I have ever taken part in." Said Dr Combish, opening the door for him.

Barry was going to pass out. The adrenaline finally drained out of him, weeks, months of panic, gone. It was over. An outright pass? It was so rare, so ridiculously unlikely. He should be raring to celebrate, but mostly he just wanted to go home and sit very still in the dark. He stepped into the corridor, remembered to thank Dr Combish, and stared numbly at the door as it closed. What did he even do now? It was over. A whole chunk of his life was just… done. He had the keys to the next stage, had the fancy title, had everything he'd worked for and… and?

"Hey Bear?" Lup nudged his arm gently. "How'd it go?"

"I… I passed?" Said Barry. "Yeah. They. Well. I passed!" His voice broke momentarily, to say it was so surreal. "Lup! I passed!!!" He grabbed her into a hug. "I did it! We did it! Thank you, thank you thank you thank you!"

"Knew you could." Lup said thickly, hugging him back. They didn’t say anything for a while, just held on tight. “We… we should do something.” Said Lup, eventually. “Celebrate, you know.”

“We’ll celebrate together when you pass next week.” Barry didn’t even have to think about it. Whatever he could do, Lup could do better, there was no way she’d be correcting anything.

“Fine, but we’re getting pizza, from the good place.” Lup grabbed her backpack from the chairs.

Barry stared for a second. “You… you’re wearing my garden jeans. Lup!”

“And they look great on me. Told you I believed in you. Fair’s fair.” Lup winked, wiggled her butt, and grabbed his hand. “Now, let’s get you home, Baraldo. We need to ring Marlena and tell her, she’ll be having kittens.”

Barry couldn’t do anything but nod.

#blupjeansweek2023 #Barry you idiot; see how smart you are!#Lup grabbed those jeans so fast - she's been secretly wearing them for years but now she doesn't have to hide it anymore #Noodyl Writes #TAZ fic #The Adventure Zone #Blupjeans #Barry Bluejeans #Lup Tacco #Lup

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bethanydelleman · 10 months

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I hope you don't mind me asking, but what does being a cognitive neuroscientist involve? Do you research stuff? Do you have to major in neuroscience in your undergrad degree?

I have an undergraduate degree in psychology (double major in business but that's irrelevant here) and an M.A. in Cognitive Neuroscience. Here is my longer post about it.

What I had been doing was carrying out research for medical doctors. They have a project they want to do, but very little time because they have patients etc. A lot of them have PhDs and MDs by the way, which is amazing. Anyway, my job title has been Research Assistant. I do patient visits and testing; help write up ethics proposals, grants, and scientific papers; analyze data, the whole gambit.

This seems like a great time for an announcement: I'm going back to work next week! I closed my home daycare and I was just hired in a new lab where I'll be doing neurological research on babies. I'm going to be working with MDs again and I'm very excited.

We'll see how this blog goes without me being bored out of my skull, but my queue is insane so we're good for at least 2 months.

#question response #personal #going back to work #it's crazy #i've been doing home daycare for almost 4 years

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anethara · 22 days

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Books I read in August

since it's probably the last month I'll do any pleasure reading for the next two years.

Pageboy by Elliot Page Validating, cathartic, triggering, and absolutely fucking beautiful prose. Like, I want to read novels by this guy. His descriptions of internal and external landscapes are stunning and visceral. A great read especially if you're ftm because it's so familiar; especially if you're cis because it really unpacks and lays bare the intricacies of transness that are so difficult to communicate. It loses a bit of momentum in the eleventh hour, but it's a memoir so...you know, sometimes life is like that. Just read the thing.

Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion I read this book for the first time in seventh grade; for the second time in sophomore year of high school; for the third time at 21. Reading it at 32 is so much more rewarding than all previous readings (I suspect I will feel this way about reading it at 32 when I read it again sometime around 47). The horrors within it feel more profound; the stakes are much higher. There's a tangible sense of dread from that time that feels almost comforting in its familiarity, as if to say, "History rhymes; we have been here before; it's not too late to turn it around." Really interesting examination of political/cultural group think, and the ways in which opposing sides born of the same puritanical cesspool feed one another in perpetuity. And of course, Didion's style of prose is evergreen.

Real Americans by Rachel Khong I picked this up at a Target while on a trip to Idaho and enjoyed it immensely. The characters are compelling and for all my fellow aging millennials, the jokes will land because they are true and we have to laugh at our financial struggles or else we will have a collective nervous breakdown. My only complaint is that it feels like it should have been three separate books, and this is the only time I think I've ever felt that way. We're always complaining that a trilogy could have been condensed into a single work but for once, it would have been nice to get a richer, fuller story of each generation that the narrative follows.

Bullshit Jobs: A Theory by David Graeber This is one of those books where the premise feels like, "Yeah, no shit" to anyone who has worked in the service, hospitality, or manufacturing industries, but there's a lot of good here! It's one thing to know something for anecdotal fact, another to be able to articulate it with data and a cohesive argument. Graeber's system of taxonomy isn't perfect, and his grasp of feminism falls short of ideal (his arguments implicitly condemn sex work while tokenizing sex workers), but generally, the concept is there. This is a useful book to have around if you're an undergrad student who needs a library of citation material for research and persuasive papers. I also think this is an excellent 'baby's first critique of economy' read - a good gift for parents who are exiting their late-life Libertarian phase. The holidays are around the corner!

#original recipe #book review

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anartificialsatellite · 7 months

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ADHD thoughts incoming:

I used to be (still am, tbh) terrified of forgetting to cite something or citing incorrectly or somehow otherwise inadvertently plagiarizing.

The solution to this fear is to be very thorough and very organized when writing which is something I, as a lifelong sufferer of ADHD who made it through most of my pre-college academic career completely flying by the seat of my pants, Am Not Good At.

So to compensate for a skill that doesn't come naturally and which I deftly avoided learning as a kid, I had to figure something out. One approach that is often taught to people with ADHD is to break tasks up into chunks, and this can sometimes mean breaking them into pieces that feel absurdly small. It actually works pretty darn well!

But it does feel silly, sometimes.

I think there can be a tendency to feel like systems you set up to help you or structures you use to organize yourself as a person with ADHD (or even not!) are a crutch or somehow make what you're doing not as serious or legitimate as someone else, because it feels like other people (whoever they are) don't do that or don't need to.

This isn't true.

Like, aside from the fact that everyone follows some kind of organizational structure when approaching a task, the way in which you've chosen to approach your thing (whether it's a paper or a manual task or whatever) ultimately doesn't matter for the legitimacy of the final product so long as you have done your work ethically and the final result meets the parameters it's supposed to.

Does that make sense? For example, I was given a little worksheet by a professor in undergrad when he was teaching us from the very basics how to properly write a history paper. It breaks part of the process down into really basic elements, and it feels on some level like a very simple and handhold-y system to use, because it was devised to help students who'd never written a real history paper before.

I still use it! I still use it. It works! It's a real basic tool that maybe a lot of people wouldn't need to use, but it's not like it's taking the work out of it for me. I'm still doing it. It's my research, it's my writing, and if I have to chunk out my work like a baby historian to feel confident and satisfied with it, then so fucking be it.

Sometimes the tools other people use work for you and sometimes they don't. Sometimes things you "should" be able to do don't work, or things that are meant to save you time and make your life easier don't. Another example: I manually format all my citations because I'm too lazy to edit the metadata in a lot of my Zotero sources so that it generates them properly, and even when it does I worry that it didn't.

Is it a little weird that I'm "too lazy" to do something that could ultimately save me more time and effort? Yeah, but I've found something that works for me and which I feel confident about, and that is what ultimately matters the most. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try new things, but if they don't work for you, they don't, even if they "should."

There are people who do this shit on the fly and don't need the level of explicit breakdown of a particular task that I need to be successful. But I'm not those people, and maybe you aren't either.

#history stuff #i guess?

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leaderwon · 7 months

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i read the other reblog with marks thingy and yes i forgot to add but 12th marks really do go until college only that's so true,, as for being forced into commerce.. that's really new honestly like i was too but not this way it was my last option so as someone who wasn't allowed to study what i wanted i would say talk to your parents and convince them as much as you can because this is your future,, any choice made you're gonna have to live with it no one is going to live it out for you but you. so really give it your all to do what you want, do not leave things to regret. as for studying abroad, baby we're so similar i have wanted to too but im doing ca and it's the best in India so i opted not to go out but my bff is in london for undergrad and it did take a lot of research and everything to go out, not to mention the expenses are there but if you do paper reasearch and planning you may be able to tone it down a bit,, though part time is really common for international students. if you can maybe do undergrad here and then go abroad for masters if it's beneficial for the course you choose to pursue because in some courses if you dont start from undergrad abroad it gets complicated. overall before taking any decision do a lot of research and keep your mental health in mind while taking that decision.

yeahh they were like i wouldn't be able to handle it and all

they managed to convince me and i learnt to see this as a new perspective

MY DAD'S A CA TOOOOO I'll probably do smth related to that abroad hehe i have a few seniors

i won't really mind part time since I've kinda mentally prepared myself for it so yeahhh I'm in 10th rn so i have time to figure it out

lysm yeonie <3

#i love her so so so much #leaderwon #leaderwon answered! <3

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anything3anywhere · 2 years

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Rawdogging my way to finish January with success, peace, and glory

I have been grinding my way to this undergrad thesis for a while now and I am so grateful to my mates for being so understanding and helpful for the paper to succeed. Life has not been fair to me and this has to be a consequence of my own actions. But you know what sucks? It sucks how when I made one mistake, my image has been tormented that quickly, it's like people are waiting for my downfall.

(Tormented is a strong word, let's say my classmates look at me differently now.)

It sucks that people have expectations of me, which again is because of the outer shell that I show them. But I'm trying not to laugh and say that they shouldn't expect so much from a person they don't know. Once this research raw dogging is over in a few weeks, I will officially be a free woman (not exactly because I still have my 320-hour internship) and catching up on the more important stuff in life.

And that is slowly cutting off the unimportant people in my life.

More tea about my absolute hell of a life once I am a free college senior. Also, Jack Quiad kind of slayed his spotify playlist, nothing but respect to my favorite and actually talented nepotism baby.

#undergrad thesis has been raw dogging me and the gang #anything rants everything #life update #tea about life #i love tim roth #i love christoph waltz #life journal #mental health #Spotify

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wespeakglobal · 2 years

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youtube

(via Kim Lear | Generational Futurist Speaker | Trendspotter)

Kim Lear is a writer and researcher focused on generational patterns and demographic shifts. As the founder and content director of Inlay Insights, Kim is at the forefront of cutting edge research to uncover cultural shifts that revolutionize how organizations engage employees and consumers.

She is known for her ability to use a mix of data, storytelling, humor, and actionable takeaways to discuss the trends that most impact the bottom line of organizations. Previously, Kim was the content director at a research firm dedicated to generational and Millennials trends. Her undergrad research is around Baby Boomers and longevity. Her post-grad work is around Millennials and social media networks.

Kim has keynoted for some of the most renowned companies in the world. She has received rave reviews from clients such as American Express, Cisco Systems, Deloitte, Disney, General Mills, Linked In, Mastercard, Price waterhouse Coopers, Wells Fargo, and more.

In addition to speaking, Kim has written white papers on the topics of generational wealth transfer in the finance sector, retirement trends in the hospitality industry, and the impacts of mindfulness practices on healthcare costs. A researcher to the very core, Kim employs eye-opening statistics to accentuate her points and mixes them with stories and case studies to make her message come alive.

#Generational Futurist #Futurist Speaker #Generational Speaker #Trend Spotter #Trends Keynote Speaker

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atlafan · 4 years

Text

And They Were Roommates - Part Two

a/n: I wasn’t quite done with these two, but now I am. I hope you like the second part just as much as the first! Feedback and reblogs are always helpful. (not proofread) part one

Warnings: fluff, smut, a little angst

Words: 8.9K

Harry was a great friend, but he was an even better boyfriend, which, you’re sad to admit, you were a bit surprised about. You wouldn’t classify him as a player when you were in school, but he certainly have a certain amount of girls on rotation. Maybe he had just grown up a bit since then. He was always a gentleman with you anyways, but he had gone into overdrive with it. Doors were being opened for you, he started cooking more, cleaning more, and he’d even started to offer to help with the laundry. He was doing everything and anything just to see you smile. It didn’t take much for him to make you smile before, but still. It was nice to see him putting in some effort.

You were putting in some effort too. It’s not that either of you needed things to feel different, in fact, a lot of things felt the same, but you wanted him to feel the way he was making you feel. So, you offered up more neck rubs, more cuddles on the couch, and you started going to the coffee shop more since he asked you to.

After a date, his favorite joke to make was, “Mine or yours”, since you were going back to the same place. You’d always giggle because it genuinely was funny to you. You’d roll your eyes at him, decide on his bedroom or yours to get cozy in. Usually if you had sex in one bed, you slept in the other. You and Harry weren’t exactly having vanilla sex, so the sheets would get hot from your sweat. It was kind of nice to be able to shuffle across the hall to sleep in a cool bed.

He had no idea sex with another person could feel so good. Having sex with someone he truly cared about, well, the thought alone was enough to make him hard. Harry liked being the one to decide on the positions, but god did he love it when you’d ride him. He loved watching your face as you’d move up and down his cock. He loved looking down between the two of you and seeing the muscles in your stomach clench, or how your thighs would shake around him. You worked so hard for him, not letting him thrust up into you sometimes, sweat dripping down your spine until you both would come. You wanted to be good for him, and he’d tell you that you didn’t need to work so hard because you’d be exhausted after, but in the back of your head there was this fear that he would get bored with you. Harry got bored with people easily, there were only a few friends in his life that he kept around, you being one of them. You were never worried about it before, but now that he knew you in this way you were a little scared.

Sometimes those fears were put to rest when he’d come through the door from work and get his lips on yours immediately. You knew Harry to be a clingy person with the people he liked. In every class you had together in undergrad he had to sit next to you, it was the same now in your graduate courses, of course. If you could have a meal at the dining hall at the same time, he was right next to you, and when you used to come over for a movie he had you sit on the end of the couch so only he could sit next to you. You supposed when you sat back and thought about some of these things he easily could have had feelings for you then. It made you think if you did. Maybe you did, but maybe you didn’t. It didn’t really matter now, though.

You were roughly two weeks into a relationship with someone you had known almost five years, and was your best friend in the world. Other than school, work, and dates, you hadn’t really left your flat. Harry was much more interested in getting to know the parts of you he hadn’t been privy to before. You had yet to tell your friends what was going on, and they were starting to wonder why the two of you were blowing off plans. You told them it was because of school, but you weren’t sure they believed you. Harry said he was picking up a lot of extra shifts at work and that he was too tired to go out. You both knew you’d have to come clean to all of them soon, but you were having too much fun.

“Are you sure we should just be rolling up on him like this?” Niall asks Louis as they make their way into yours and Harry’s complex.

“He’s been working himself to the bone, the lad needs some fun. What are you, nervous to see Y/N?” Louis smirks at him.

“Course not.” Niall shrugs. “That was just a one-time thing between friends.”

“So, if she offered to do it again, you wouldn’t?”

“Well, I-“

They both stop short at the door because they could have sworn they heard moaning. They did. What started out as a simple cuddle on the couch while you and Harry watched a little TV turned into having his head between your legs with his tongue fucking in and out of you.

“Fucking, Christ, Harry.” You groan, and it makes him moan into you. You tug on his hair as your back arches.

“Must be watching a movie.” Louis shrugs and knocks on the door. “Oi, oi! It’s us, mate!”

“Harry!” You gasp and yank his head up. “What are they doing here?!”

“I have no idea!” He licks his lips and wipes the rest off with the back of his hand. “Shit, and you were just about to come too.” He pouts.

“It’s fine…just…” You get up and pull your sweatpants up. “Figure out what they want.”

“Where are you going?”

“I have to pee, is that alright?”

“All my hard work, down the toilet, literally.”

“You’re…such an idiot.” You roll your eyes and walk down the hall to the bathroom.

He groans and tucks himself as to not expose the raging hard on that he was just rutting against the couch. The guys knock again, and he sucks his teeth.

“I’m coming, chill out!” Harry opens the door in a huff. “I’ve neighbors, you know?”

“He lives!” Niall says with a chuckle as he and Louis enter the flat.

“I don’t believe I invited either of you in.” Harry says, crossing his arms.

“What are we, vampires?” Louis scoffs. “Where you been, mate? You need to have some fun, so we thought we’d bring it to you.”

“I’ve been…working a lot.” Harry rubs the back of his neck and looks in the direction of the bathroom, then back to the guys.

“We totally get that.” Niall says in defense. “But you have to make time for other things. Gotta have a balance.”

“Hi, guys.” You say shyly as you come back into the living room.

“Y/N! Hey, how are you?” Louis says.

“I’m good. Um, did you all have plans tonight?”

“No, I would have told you.” Harry says to you. He clears his throat and looks back at the guys. “Look, uh, we’re staying in tonight to work on this research paper. We were just taking a break.” He points with his thumb to the TV. “M’sorry you came all the way over here…I did say I was busy tonight, though.”

“What kind of research paper?” Niall asks.

“It’s for our social behavior class.” You say. “Lot of psychology involved, which neither of us really shine in, so we’re working on it together.”

“Y/N, are you feeling alright?” Louis asks and steps closer to you. “Your face is all flushed, love.” He says softly.

“I’m fine, thank you. Um, I’m gonna go back to my room. It was nice seeing you both, I’m sure we’ll be able to get together soon.” You smile and turn back down the hall to your room.

“You don’t think she feels awkward because of me, do you?” Niall whispers.

“I can assure you, mate, she’s not thought twice about your little bathroom adventure.” Harry says, rolling his eyes. “We really are busy, so, uh…if you wouldn’t mind?”

“Alright.” Louis sighs. “Well, make time for us soon, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Harry nods and watches them both leave. He lets out a puff of air, and then races down to your room. “Okay, where…what are you doing?”

You were sitting at your desk with some papers and highlighters out, along with your laptop.

“Um, we actually do have a research paper for social behavior so…”

“Come on, Y/N, you were so close and-“

“The moment has passed, I’m afraid.” You chuckle. “You can work with me in here if you like.”

“You…you seriously don’t wanna get back to it?”

“Maybe in a little bit. I’ve switched gears, Har.”

“I’ll go get my laptop.” He sighs, clearly annoyed. He returns shortly and plops down on your bed. “Gotta say, this isn’t great for my ego.” He grumbles.

“When have I ever given a fuck about your ego?” You smirk at him. “Think I’m the only girl in your life to not drop to the ground and kiss your feet.”

“You know, you don’t have a problem praising me when I’m deep inside your little cunt.”

“I could easily lay there and not make any noise, would you like that?”

“Are you saying it’s all an act?”

“No.” You shrug. “I’m just saying, I can easily look at you and not make noise if I really wanted to, so, shut up, and do some homework.”

“You’re mean.” He mutters.

“Shouldn’t be news to you, baby.” You say as you turn back to your notes. You didn’t see it, but Harry was smiling at you fondly.

He was the one to use more of the terms of endearment. They just rolled off his tongue better. He was still getting used to you using them, and he loved it.

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“These last couple of weeks have been really great, right?”

“Yes, Harry.” Your attention wasn’t fully on him.

“When…uh…when do you think we should tell our friends?” This catches your attention, so you turn to face him again. “I feel weird lying.”

“So do I.” You sigh. “I guess soon. I mean, what are we telling them exactly, that we’re fucking?”

“I hope not because it’s more than that, I mean you’re my girlfriend, aren’t you?”

Your eyebrows raise at that.

“I don’t know, am I?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Is this your way of asking?”

“I just figured it was a given.”

“Why would you figure that? A lot of people wait before putting a label on it.”

“Do you think we’re just fucking?”

“No, I’d say we’re dating.”

“But you don’t think you’re my girlfriend?”

“I never said that.” Your lips curve up in a smile. “Being in a relationship implies that both parties wouldn’t be seeing anyone else. Is that what you want?”

“Obviously.” He mumbles.

“So ask me, then.” You get up from your desk and move to straddle him.

“You’re really gonna make me?”

“Mhm.” You wrap your arms around his neck and grin.

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Would you like to be my girlfriend?”

You giggle and nod as you kiss him. He kisses you back, smiling into it at first. His hands drift to your ass and he gives you a squeeze.

“Wow, Harry Styles with a girlfriend, angels must be crying.” You joke and swats at your bum.

“Be nicer to me.” He whines.

“I’m sitting on you, aren’t I?” You peck his lips again.

“It’s not where I’d like you to be sitting.” He mutters.

“And where would you like me to…no, Harry, I really wanna get some homework done.”

He makes an exasperated noise. He used to do the same thing in undergrad, finding anything to distract the two of you from getting your work done, but usually you could bribe him with coffee or a pastry to get him to focus. You had something much better to bribe him with now, though. You bring your lips to the shell of his ear.

“If you’re good and focus, I’ll ride your face for however long you want me to later.”

“Oh, so you’re done bribing me with cannolis then, I see how it is.” He smirks as you get off of him, and back to your desk chair.

“If that’s what you’d prefer to lick into, I’d be happy to buy one.” You wink and get back to your work.

He laughs, and starts doing his own work. You sit in a comfortable silence, the only sound in the room coming from the buzz of the TV down the hall for whatever show you hadn’t been watching. After an hour or so, you need a break. Your laptop screen was starting to bother your eyes.

“You know…” You say to him and he looks up from his own laptop. “If there’s a night you wanna go hang out with them, it’s perfectly fine. You don’t have to spend all your free time with me, Harry.”

“I know, I just happen to like spending all my free time with you.” He smiles. “I’ve always felt that way.”

You smile and close your laptop. He sets his own down and holds his arms out for you. You crawl on top of him and rest your head on his chest as you nuzzle in. He wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head.

“I’m really glad we get to do this like this.” He says and you look up at him. “No more having to be overly careful, you know?”

“Yeah.” You smile. “No awkwardness if we accidentally touch something we shouldn’t.”

“Not at all.”

You inch up his body a bit and press your lips to his. And just like that you were off again. He got you naked so fast you barely had time to blink. He had you sitting on his face, riding his tongue for nearly thirty minutes. You came twice, and your chest was heaving. You definitely understood why some of the girls he used to hook up would whine when he wasn’t available. He was really good at this. He’d say things to you while he was down there, but it was muffled. It made you moan still because of the vibrations going right up inside you.

“Jesus, ugh, Harry.” You throw your head back as you feel another orgasm bubbling up inside.

He squeezes your ass and moans into you. You cry out, gripping at your headboard and his hair as he works you through it. You slowly lift yourself off of him with wobbly legs, and lay on your back, out of breath. You look up at him and see he’s licking his lips and smiling.

“I’ve never been with a guy who liked doing that so much.” You say, voice a little hoarse.

“Love it.” He says as he looks at you. “Nothing better than making someone else feel good.”

You hum your response and slide your hand over his apparent bulge. You dip your hand into his sweatpants and palm him over his boxers. His breath hitches when you give him a little squeeze. You shuffle between his legs and pull his clothes off. He opens his legs wider for you, and bring your lips down to his tip. It was like you were suddenly addicted to each other. You weren’t sure if it was unhealthy or if you were just in a honeymoon phase of a new relationship. When you wrap your lips around him and suck you lose all will to care. You look up at him and see his head thrown back, and his hips buck up into your mouth. You choke on him for a moment, and he apologizes in a husky grunt.

“Do it again.” You say to him.

“Excuse me?” He sits up on his elbows.

“You can…like move yourself in and out of my mouth if you want.”

“Go put your hair up.” You nod and grab an elastic from your desk. You put it up in a messy bun, and he grips you by the back of the head. “Just slap my leg if it’s too much, and I’ll stop, okay?”

“Okay.”

Harry was big, but you were getting better at relaxing and letting your throat open up as much as possible for him. You open up wide for him, letting your tongue fall out, and he pushes you down on him. You close your eyes and breathe through your nose as his hips rock against you. He moves your head along with his thrusts. You gag for a moment, but you’re okay. You grip the blankets on either side of his hips, and he takes off. He was moving you fast, and hitting the back of your throat repeatedly. But you were okay. It didn’t hurt, he was still being gentle in a way.

“Christ, I’m gonna fucking come, I wish you could see yourself, Y/N.” He groans. “No one’s ever been as good as you, fuck, oh fuck, babe, I’m-“ He’s cut off by the moan he just couldn’t hold back anymore.

You look up at him, tears rimming your eyes, and slowly slide your mouth up his shift so you don’t make a mess. His mouth hangs open as he watches you swallow his come. You stick your tongue out after to show him it’s all gone, and he yanks you to him to kiss you.

This was how things were for a while. Even with your body so tired from him just using his tongue on you, you wanted more of him. You wanted all of him, and he wanted all of you.

A week or so later, Harry asked Niall and Louis to come to the coffee shop after their work day. Harry tells his supervisor he’s gonna take his fifteen, and sits down with them.

“Hey, thanks for meeting here.” Harry says as he sits down.

“Course.” Louis says. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything fine. Really great, actually. Um, I haven’t been entirely truthful about why I’ve been so busy lately.”

“No shit, let’s hear it.” Niall says.

“I’m…well, I have a girlfriend.” They both widen their eyes at him. “And it’s Y/N.”

“You’re fucking with us.” Louis says.

“No way you pulled the trigger.” Niall says.

“It’s true! Look.” He takes his phone out and shows them a picture of the two of you. You were laughing while he was kissing your cheek.

“Wow, a cheek kiss.” Louis says. “Big fucking deal.”

“You really don’t believe me?” They both shake their heads no. “How can I-“

You walked in right then, and he smiled. He smiled in a way the boys had never really seen before. You sit down with all of them.

“Hey.” You kiss his cheek. “You tell ‘em?”

“Yeah, but they don’t believe me.”

You turn to them and furrow your eyebrows.

“Why don’t you believe him? Does this help?” You were wearing a scarf, so you move it to the side to show the hickey he had left on your neck.

“He said you were his girlfriend, is that true?” Louis asks. “Like, it’s official?”

“Yup.” You say with a smile. “It happened a few weeks ago.” He puts his hand over yours.

“Well, I think it’s great.” Niall says. “I always thought you two would make a good couple.”

“Thanks.” Harry says and raises your hand to his lips. “I gotta get back to work. I’ll get you some decaf, baby.” He gets up and goes back behind the counter.

“Definitely official, called you baby instead of babe.” Louis smirks.

“He’d call me babydoll and stuff.” You shrug.

“How’s it been going so far? Like, how come you both were staying in so much?” Niall asks and you blush.

“Um…well…we were just sort of busy.” You clear your throat. Harry comes back with your coffee and kisses the top of your head.

“Don’t pester her with questions, yeah?”

“Oi, we weren’t.” Louis says. He looks down at the table as you pull your laptop out. “Seems like you have some work to do, and I had a long day myself, so we’ll head out. But we really are happy for you both.” He stands up and so does Niall.

“Yeah, seriously.” Niall smiles. “Have a good night.”

Harry gets back to work, and you set up shop with your books and laptop. It was nice getting work done for school while Harry was behind the counter. Every once in a while you’d glance at each other, or he’d come over to refill your decaf. The walk home later was cold, but you couldn’t find it in you to care since he had his arm around your shoulders.

You told Rachel over lunch one day, and she was absolutely thrilled. She held back from saying it was about time, but you could tell she wanted to say it. Now that all of your immediate friends knew, things wouldn’t be so awkward at Ashley and Kevin’s housewarming party. Okay, it wasn’t a “house” they had gotten a townhome, but still, it was a big step.

“Ugh, m’all bloated.” You groan as you zip up your black jeans.

“Why don’t you wear leggings?” Harry asks from his room as he finishes up getting dressed.

“Because I wanna look adult.” You pout.

“Just because they’re two years older than us doesn’t mean they’re any more mature.” He smirks as he stands in your doorway. “You look cute.”

“Thanks.” You sigh and grab your coat. “Let me just stock my purse up with some extra tampons, you can never be too careful.”

He nods and goes to wait by the front door. Harry was no stranger to your period. He was actually really cool about it from the second you moved in. Your pads and tampons were out on the sink counter in this cute jar he had gotten you because he wanted you to feel comfortable. You did, however, have a conversation with him recently that you didn’t like having sex on your period, and not because it was gross, you didn’t really care about that. The times you had done it you were too worried about making a mess to enjoy it, so you told him the store was closed for the week, and he respected that.

Once you were ready, he takes your hand and your fingers stay intertwined for the entire cab ride to Ashley and Kevin’s. There would be other friends at the party, of course, but the people that knew would be there and it would be fine. Even though Rachel was tickled pink about the two of you, she was sort of shocked to see how affectionate you both were being in front of everyone. Normally at parties you two would stand close to each other, maybe your shoulder would be pressed to his arm, but that was it. This time around his arm was around your shoulders, and he’s lean down to kiss your temple, or his hand would move to rub your back.

Ashley and Kevin were making their way around the room, mingling and saying hello. Ashley’s jaw just about drops when she sees you peck Harry’s lips while refilling your small plates with appetizers.

“Hold up.” She says as she comes over to you both. “What’s going on here?” She was smiling ear to ear. “You weren’t like this at my wedding. Did something that happen that night?!”

“No…but like a week later something happened.” You say, also smiling. “We’re together now.”

“Oh, that’s amazing!” She hugs you both. “I’m so happy for you. I need to hear this story. Kev! Get over here, you’re not gonna believe this. Harry and Y/N are dating!”

“No shit, good for you guys.”

“So, how’d it happen?” She asks again giddily.

“Um, well…” He looks at you. He couldn’t very well say you had taken photos for your Only Fans. “We were just chatting about something, and I sort of blurted out that I wouldn’t mind being more than friends, and um, she felt the same way. Not much more to it than that.” He shrugs.

“Well, did you kiss at least?” Ashley laughs.

“Yes.” You say, giggling. “We kissed, and then some.” You roll your eyes at yourself. “We barely left our flat for three weeks!” You all laugh. Everyone was a tad tipsy from the drinks Ashley and Kevin provided.

You had similar conversations with friends for most of the night. The only time you left Harry’s side was to use the bathroom. When you come back you see him chatting with Nadine, and you frown. They had hooked up back in the day, on several occasions. It didn’t bother you then, but it’s bothering you now. You take a deep breath, and walk confidentially back over to him. You hook your arm right around his waist, and he smiles down at you.

“Hey, Nadine.” You say.

“Hey, Y/N.”

She didn’t like you much either. You were the girl Harry always had to get to or go see. You were the reason he never spent the whole night, and you were the reason she never got to spend the night at his place. You annoyed her to no end.

“Did Harry give you the good news? We’re dating.” You grin.

“I was, um, just getting to that.” He blushes.

“You don’t say?” There was fake delight laced in her words. “Well, good for you two.”

“Yeah, it’s been great, fantastic really.” You take a sip of your drink. “What about you, seeing anyone special?”

“Not at the moment.” The eye contact between you two was intense, and Harry could feel the tension.

“Right, well, it’s getting late, don’t you think?” He says to you. “Might be good to start drinking some water and then head out.”

You nod at him as he slips away to go get some water.

“So, what made you finally decide to hop on his dick, hm? It’s big, isn’t it?” Nadine smirks at you.

“He told me he liked me, wanted to date me, and fuck me. He really made the first move, not me. It was sweet, actually. And yeah, it is big. How nice of you to remember.” You give her a fake smile and she scoffs.

“You think you’re so special, but you’re not. He’ll get bored with you, Y/N. Why do you think he had so many girls on rotation in school? He doesn’t like fucking the same person over and over.”

“Are you sure about that? Because he tells me all the time that he can’t get enough of me. He’s not douchebag anymore, he’s grown up a lot. I don’t need to defend him or myself to you, but just know you’re dead wrong.” She had said your biggest fear to your face, but as she said it you couldn’t help but feel like you wanted to laugh. He could never be bored of you.

“Here.” He says, handing you a water bottle. “It was nice seeing you Nadie. Y/N, come on, our cab’ll be here soon.”

“Nadie.” You scoff under your breath as he leads you out to say goodbye to your other friends.

“Are you mad that she and I were catching up?” He says to you in the back of the cab.

“No, why would I be?”

“Because you’re sitting there with your arms crossed. Think there’s actual steam coming out of you.” He places a finger on your shoulder. “Ow! Scalding hot.”

You look at him slowly, and you can’t help the chuckle that escapes you.

“Idiot.”

“Come on, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing! I just…I don’t know I suddenly remembered that I don’t like her very much, and she sure as shit doesn’t like me.”

“She doesn’t like you because she knows all she ever was to me was a quick fuck, and you were my best friend. She wanted more, I didn’t, case closed.”

“Well, she needs to get over it. There’s no need for her to be nasty towards me.”

“To be fair, you did sort of come over to us like you were claiming your territory.”

“I was.”

“Y/N.” Harry sighs.

“You’re the only one allowed to be jealous?”

“No.” He runs a hand through his hair. “You just…you know, you have nothing to worry about.”

You look at him wide eyed like a puppy. You nod and rest your head on his shoulder for the rest of the cab ride. Once you’re inside and changed, you both go to his room to sleep. He cuddled you nice and close all night, squeezing out any worry you may have had.

“It’s shit.” He says to you while working in the library.

“It’s not shit.”

“It is, though. I’m shit at lesson plans, and therefore it’s shit.”

“Harry, I actually really like what you’ve put together. It’s different, and you’re clearly using the multiple intelligences theory here, which is good.” Your eyes scan things over. Harry was hoping to be a year eight English teacher.

“It’s just so hard to keep their attention at that age, so I’m just trying to think of different things, you know?”

“I can see that.” You set the paper down. “This is really good. This is a great UbD.”

“The professor showed us different ways to set the courses up, but I like the UbD the best because I feel like I’m able to flesh out my ideas better.”

“I do the same exact thing, see.” You turn your laptop around to show him. “I’d be lost without it.”

“Thanks, Y/N.”

“You’re gonna be a great teacher, Harry, give yourself some credit.”

“I wish we could student teach again. I feel like I was getting the hang of it, and now we don’t get to do it again until after we graduate.” He sighs.

“I know, it’s frustrating. We’ll get there, though.” You reach across the table and take his hand in yours. “Maybe we’ll even end up in the same school district.”

“We could end up at the same school if someone didn’t need to teach at the high school level.”

“You’re the one choosing to work with twelve-year-old!” You scoff. “Disgusting. You’re gonna be talking to them more about B.O. than English.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll take that over some sarcastic too cool for school teens any day.” He smirks.

“Let’s just agree that we both have different strengths for dealing with different age groups of students.” You say.

“Deal.” He looks at you as you turn your laptop back to yourself. “Do you feel like going out for dinner tonight? We could get some curry.”

“I’d like that.” You smile. You watch as he scan over his lesson plan again, a smile creeping onto his face. He was gaga over you, and it felt nice.

After two months, you both decided to tell your families you were dating. Your parents thought you had lied about even being friends with Harry just so they’d be cool about you moving in with him, but you assured them that wasn’t case. Once they calmed down, they were actually really happy for you. They never had any issues with Harry. Harry’s family was overjoyed because they always liked you too. Everything was working out well…until Harry got mad at you.

You had fought plenty of times as friends. It happened when you were around the same person so much, but usually you could smooth it over by watching Dirty Dancing and having some drinks. You weren’t sure why that particular movie always cheered you both up and brought you back together, but it did. This time, however, he wasn’t having it. Even when you set up the living room all nice.

“You’re seriously still giving me the silent treatment?” You ask him as he walks right by the living room and into his bedroom. “Harry, I don’t even know what I did!”

“Exactly!” He finally shouts at you. “You can be so self-absorbed sometimes!”

“Me?! I’m self-absorbed?!”

“Yeah, you!” He huffs. “You really don’t know why I’m upset?”

“Obviously not!”

“Christ! Fine, you wanna know? Come with me.” He grabs your wrist and yanks you into the kitchen. “I worked three doubles in a row, barely have been here to use anything in this kitchen, however, the sink is full of dishes, the dishwasher needs to be run, and the trash is about ready to overflow. If you’re not at school, you’re home doing nothing! It pisses me off to walk through the door and see a mess like this! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you be so messy in all the time I’ve known you, Y/N! And I shouldn’t have to take care of it, I didn’t make the mess!”

“So you just passive aggressively-“

“Don’t even start, I shouldn’t have to ask you to-“

“Don’t start?! Harry, I’m the one that scrubs down the bathroom, I’m the one that does laundry for the both of us, and-“

“Yeah, because you have the time to do it! You don’t have a real fucking job that leaves you feeling exhausted!” Your jaw drops at that. “Don’t look at me like that. What you do requires no real skill or talent. Anyone can take pictures and sell them on the internet, Y/N. You’re too fucking lazy to do anything else.”

“I…I can’t believe what’s coming out of your mouth right now.” You huff as you start to run the water for the sink.

“Oh, so now you’re cleaning up?!”

“Shut up, Harry!” You seethe as you start scrubbing the dishes. You throw a pod into the dishwasher and let it run. “I knew it bothered you that I had an Only Fans, it was only a matter of time before-“

“It doesn’t bother me that you have one, what bothers me is that you act like it’s back breaking labor when it’s not! You get paid thousands of dollars for what? A picture of you sucking on a lollypop? Big fucking deal!”

“Get away from me.” You say as you continue to wash the dishes and put them in the strainer aggressively.

“You’re gonna break the plates if you do it like that.” He grabs a towel to start drying them.

“Stop! Just stop! Go take a shower or something, I don’t wanna be around you right now. All I did was neglect a few dirty dishes, and you’re acting like it’s the end of the fucking world.” You shake your head. “I’m sorry you don’t think I have a real job. Should I make it real? Should I make it more labor intensive? Maybe I’ll start taking my clothes off and doing lives where I fuck myself, would you prefer that?”

He doesn’t say anything because he knows if he does he’ll be wrong. Maybe he was wrong for blowing up at you, and bringing what you do into this, but he was pissed. He felt disrespected. He busts his ass to live comfortably and to afford school, and there you are a photo here, a video there, and two grand later you’re good to go for a few weeks. Personally, he wouldn’t want you exposing yourself like that on the internet, and he knew you’d never do it, you were way too shy. But if it was something you really wanted to do to make more money, what could he say? He had to support you.

“Do what you want, just pick up after yourself.” He says and walks away.

You sigh heavily and clean up the rest of the kitchen. You did feel bad for neglecting things, you felt awful, actually. You hadn’t even realized how much of a mess you had made. It really wasn’t fair to him. He does a lot of other chores around the flat on top of everything else, you had no excuse. And maybe you didn’t ‘work’ everyday, but you understood his point. He said some things that really weren’t okay, but unfortunately that was Harry when he got to that point of overworked and tired. You just usually weren’t the one to get the brunt of it.

Once the kitchen is spotless, and you’ve taken the trash out, you creep down the hall and stand in front of his open door. He was laying in bed, on top of his covers, scrolling through his phone.

“Hey.” You say softly. “I cleaned everything up. I’ll…I’ll try to be better about not letting things pile up, I’m sorry.” He looks at you now.

“S’okay.”

“That being said…don’t yell at me like that again. You…you said some hurtful things, and I didn’t like it.”

“I did.” He nods. “And I feel terrible, I’m really sorry, Y/N.”

“No, I’m sorry.” You shake your head.

“No, I’m sorry.” He sits up. “What you do is a real job, I-“

“I don’t wanna talk about it anymore if that’s alright.” Your bottom lip quivers. “Can I come in?”

“Of course, baby.”

You pad into his room and knee onto his bed. He lays back down so you can lay on top of him. He rubs your back as you nestle into his chest. You give him little kisses and he sighs. You look up at him and pout.

“I don’t like it when you’re upset with me, I never have.”

“That’s because it happens so rarely.” He smooths some hair away from your face. “Usually I’m the one to make you mad.” He smirks.

“Only because you’re such a brat.” You pout again. “But I guess this time around it was me being the brat.”

“I wouldn’t call you a brat, babe. I didn’t even think dirty dishes would bother me that much. I feel like I know how my mum felt coming home from work and getting mad when we didn’t pull the chicken out of the freezer.” He chuckles. “I really am sorry about what I said to you, I won’t talk to you like that again, no matter how angry I am.”

“How about you talk to me before you even reach that level of anger?”

“Deal.” He smiles and you lean in to kiss him. “You set the movie up, let’s go watch.”

“After.” You shake your head and kiss his neck.

He wraps his arms around you tighter as you mouth at his soft skin. He gets goosebumps from your hands running up and down his bare chest. He rolls the both of you over, and presses his lips to yours. His tongue slides along your bottom lip, and you open up for him. His tongue molds to yours, and he moves to bite and suck on your bottom lip. You moan softly as he does so, and he hooks his fingers into your sweatpants. You lift your hips to help him get them off. He brings your underwear with them, and slides his fingers teasingly through your folds. Your hand goes to the back of his neck to keep his lips on yours as he rubs around your slit. One of your hands dips down to slide inside his sweatpants, and you wrap your hand around his length. He grunts, and slips his middle finger inside you. You pump him slowly as he works his finger in and out of you.

“More, Harry.” You grit your teeth, and he does as you say, adding another finger inside you. He curls them up, and pets against your front wall. “Shit.” Your breath hitches, and he moves further down to get his tongue on your clit while he pumps his fingers in and out of you, thus letting go of his hard dick. “I wanna touch you too.” You whine.

His eyes flick up to yours and he smirks. You watch as he kitten licks your clit, not giving a shit about what you just said. He sucks on your clit harshly and you gasp, gripping at his blankets. He goes back to flicking his tongue back and forth on the small bundle while his fingers rub against your g-spot. You start squirming underneath him, but he holds you in place. Your breathing was getting heavier, and you could feel the beginning of your orgasm approaching already.

“H-Harry, oh my god, I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come, fuck!” All of the air leaves your lungs as you come to your release. He pumps his fingers inside you still, not letting up, prolonging things for you. “Jesus Christ.” You breathe once he pulls away. You watch as he gets his sweatpants off, and sits up against the headboard.

“C’mere.” He says softly.

“Want me on top, baby?”

“Yeah.” He smiles.

You get on top of him, give his cock a few pumps, and then sink down on him. You both sigh with relief, and sit there for a moment. He tugs your shirt off and kisses between your breasts as you move your hips in slow circles on him. His tongue swirls around one of your nipples and then he sucks on it. One of your hands grips his hair, and the other is on his shoulder. His hands move to your hips, and he starts moving you on him. You use your knees to help yourself move up and down as he thrusts up into you.

“Fuck, Y/N.” He moans and you lean down to kiss him. He feels like he could burst now, but he holds back. He expectantly moves you so you’re on your back once again.

“Thought you want me on top?”

“I did…but I don’t wanna come yet.” He pecks your lips and grabs both of your hands, resting them on the pillow on either side of your head. His fingers intertwining with yours. He pulls out almost all the way, and snaps his hips hard back into you.

“Oof!” You gasp and look at him. “Do that again.”

His lips move to your neck as he pounds into you over and over. It wasn’t difficult for him to make you come again, and with the way you were squeezing his hands, and with how you were clenching around his cock, it was a wonder he hung on for how long he did. He comes inside you, painting your walls and filling you up. He kisses your forehead and gives you three quick kisses to your lips before pulling out. He rests his head on your chest, and you play with his damp curls.

“Could we just watch the movie in your bed?” He breathes. “I think that’ll be cozier.”

“Great idea.” You kiss the top of his head. “So…we’re good?”

“Yeah, babe.” He looks up at you. “We’re good.”

After you’ve both cleaned up, you grab your laptop and get comfy in bed with Harry and Dirty Dancing. Like always, once Hungry Eyes starts playing, you both start singing. You giggle and feel even better once it’s over. You stay cuddled to him and he rubs your back soothingly. He tugs your leg up over waist and he sighs.

“Is this more comfortable?” You giggle.

“Mhm.” He hums as his eyes flutter closed. You lean up to kiss his cheek.

“Goodnight, Harry.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

First year of grad school down, only one more to go. It was finally summer, and you could relax for a little bit. With classes over it also meant you could do the spring cleaning you neglected to do. Usually you’d go through your clothes once a season to make room for new things, and to donate what you didn’t wear anymore.

“Who gave you the right to be so fucking sexy?” You hear Harry say from behind you in your doorway. You turn to look at him. You look down at yourself. You were wearing a pair of mesh shorts, a tee shirt that had grease stains on it, and your hair was up in a greasy bun.

“Um…sure you’re talking to me?” You chuckle.

“Mhm, when did you take this one?” He turns his phone around and you blush.

You had done a photoshoot recently when Harry worked a double shift. You wore a hot pink short-sleeve crop top and a pair of black lace panties. A lot of the shots were from above, licking a lollypop, to mimic you sucking a dick.

“Like…last week, I think.” Your face was beat red. “I posted them yesterday.”

“I can see that.”

“Harry…you paid fifty dollars for a photo I could have just easily shown you?”

“Wouldn’t be very fair, would it?”

“You give me free food and coffee from the coffee shop all the time.”

“True. Just think of it as me supporting a small local business, yeah? You really do look gorgeous in this.” You make a funny face at him. “I was just looking at your comments and I saw you posted new stuff, okay?”

“Do you ever leave comments?”

“No.” He mutters. “It be too obvious.” He comes in and sits on your bed. “What are you doing in here, anyways?”

“Going through my clothes to see what I can donate.” You watch him look around your space. “What?”

“Whose bed is comfier, mine or yours?”

“Mine.”

“Whose room is bigger?”

“Yours.” You furrow your brows. “What are you cooking up there?”

“I…well…we’ve been sleeping together almost every night now, and we’ve been together for, like, five months…do you wanna just consolidate?”

“Harry.” You grin and come over to straddle him. “Are you asking me to move in with you?”

“You’re an idiot.” He rolls his eyes and you laugh. “Doesn’t it make sense? We could leave this room as a guest room, or sell my bed and put both of our desks in here as like an office.”

“Could I keep using this closet as my own? We both have so much shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay!” You nearly squeal as you hug him. “Let’s do it!”

“Really, you’re into it?”

“We share every other space, why not the bedroom?”

After taking a couple of weeks to rearrange things, Harry’s bedroom soon became your shared bedroom. When you could, you took some long weekends with him to travel and go on small trips. You met up with Louis and Niall at the clubs when you could, and it was always fun. You felt bad sometimes because Harry could over do it with the PDA, especially if he was really sloshed, but the guys didn’t seem to mind. They’d usually get up from the booth to go meet people anyways. Not that Harry noticed because he was too busy keeping his tongue in your mouth. Like tonight.

“Mm, Harry!” You pant and push on his chest. “Let me breathe, yeah?”

“Sorry.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Where’d they go?”

“Probably to go find someone to make out with so they wouldn’t feel so left out.”

“I can’t help it, you’re intoxicating, Y/N.” He noses your cheek and goes to your neck to suck on it. You groan and tug on his hair.

You cling to him as he sucks a fresh mark into your neck. He had one hand on the back of your head, and the other was squeezing your hip. He tugs you onto his lap as discretely as he can, and you roll your hips down onto him. You whimper when you feel his bulge.

“M’not fucking you in the bathroom.” You grunt.

“Wasn’t going to ask you to.” He says into your ear. He shifts you onto one of his thighs. “Don’t really need to go in there to get you off, do I?’ You feel him smirk against you.

“Jesus.” You say and rock back and forth on his thigh. “You better fully take care of me when I get home, this is just going to rile me up.”

“Wouldn’t dream of leaving you hanging, babydoll.”

You groan again at the term of endearment, and kiss him. He moves his leg up so there’s a little more pressure for you. You hide your face in his neck to muffle any noise you make, not that anyone could hear you over the blaring music. Harry looks around briefly to make sure no one was watching, and they weren’t. Everyone was in their own little world, thank god. He loved it when you’d get like this for him. He’d start out as the needy one, and then it would become you who was needy for him.

“Harry.” You gasp when you feel yourself just about there. “Shit.” You cry out into his neck as you come undone. He moves his thigh from side to side to really help you ride it out. You move to look at him and he giggles when he sees your smudged make up.

“Poor thing.” He uses his thumbs to wipe under your eyes.

“Does it look bad?”

“Nah, you’re fine.” He pecks your nose. “Wanna go home?”

“Yeah, I wanna get these jeans off.”

“Mm, me too.”

You suck your teeth and roll your eyes as you climb off of him. You find Niall and Louis to say goodbye, and out the door you go. Your leg was bouncing the entire cab ride back. You were excited to see what Harry had in store for you. Needless to say, he didn’t leave you hanging.

Another year of grad school down. It was a year filled with love, a few fights, and a lot of making up. Living together the way you were was still working out great. Both of your families were extremely proud of you on your commencement day. There was just a tough decision you each had to make. You couldn’t find jobs in the same school district at this time, and neither of you wanted to compromise on the year you were teaching.

You each got a couple of job offers in various places. Some closer to each other than others. You couldn’t stop yourself from daydreaming about working at the same place, though. All of the kids would know you and Harry were together, and it was just be the cutest thing ever.

“Hey, look at this. These two schools are only an hour from each other.” He says as you both look over the paperwork for offers. “We could find a flat at a halfway point to live in. We’d still be relatively close to where we are now, so we’d still see our friends. Probably make some new ones.”

“You hate making new friends.” You smirk and use your laptop to look up flats at a halfway point. “I suppose we could make this work…although, I’m really gonna miss this place. It’s like our little love nest.” You pout at him.

“Any place we live will be our love nest, babe, don’t worry.”

“So, now that you have a graduate degree you’re not gonna drop me for someone else?” You joke and he rolls his eyes.

“I should be worried about you doing that. Bet you’ll meet a nice guy at whatever school you’re working at and he’ll try to sweep you off your feet.”

“I don’t quite think so. I’ll probably end up gushing about my boyfriend too much.”

“Shame, if only there was something you could wear so everyone would automatically know you were taken.” He gets up from his seat as you continue to scroll on your laptop.

“Mhm, yeah, if only.”

“Y/N, turn the fuck around, would you?”

You huff and does he says. Your eyes widen when you see him down on one need with a velvet box in his hand.

“Are you serious?” Your eyes start to water.

“Been together nearly two years, known you for nearly seven. You’re my person, Y/N, I don’t wanna be with anyone else.”

“I…I don’t wanna be with anyone else either, Harry.”

“Alright, so…” He opens up the box and you smile at the cutest little ring.

“Once, uh, once I’ve been working a real job for a few years, and we have a wedding paid for, you know if you say yes, we can go to a jewelry store and gets a large diamond, you know, if you want.”

“Oh, Harry…it’s perfect.” You giggle and stick your left hand out.

“You’re really saying yes?!”

“Yes, you idiot, slide it on!”

He beams at you and slides the ring onto your finger. It’s a perfect fit. He stands up and pulls you into his arms. You kiss him over and over. You couldn’t believe it. You start laughing into his chest hysterically.

“What’s so funny, hm?”

“Nothing, it’s just…after we graduated from undergrad…Jenna had asked me to split a flat with her, and I had been mulling it over until you asked me to live with you, and…and if I had said yes to her and not you, I…well…who knows what we’d be right now.”

“Funny how things just work out the way they’re supposed to, huh?”

“Yeah, hilarious.” You throw your arms around his neck to hug him again. Harry was full of surprises, but this had to be the best one yet.

a/n: if you’re able, please consider buying me a coffee, love you all lots, thank you!!

#harry styles #and they were roommates #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles au #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #roommate!Harry #friends to lovers

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 3 years

Text

A chatty writing update | novels, short fiction, etc!

Hi folks!

It’s been a while since I last wrote an update on this blog! I thought it’d be fun to go back to basics, and just talk about writing. This post chats about: new plans for Feeding Habits, my newest novel, my short story goals & growing collection, along with process reflections.

(image description: a photo of green leaves with the text “writing update” in a white font written on top. /end image description)

Post starts under the cut!

General taglist (please ask to be added or removed)

@if-one-of-us-falls, @qatarcookie, @chloeswords, @alicewestwater, @laughtracksonata, @shylawrites, @ev–writes, @jaydewritesfiction, @jennawritesstories @eowynandfaramir, @august-iswriting, @aetherwrites, @avakrahn, @maisulli

What have I been up to?

For starters, I finished my second year of my Writing undergrad last week and got two of my final grades back today (A+ baby)! For anyone who has taken online university, y’all already KNOW, but this year was so difficult. Would not recommend! Really proud of myself to have gotten through this absolute rollercoaster of a school term and am excited to get into some writing. That leads us to:

What have I been up to (writing edition)?

2021 started off so fast. By the time January hit, I was so consumed in my new semester that I did not have time to write Feeding Habits (my novel). In the first few days of the term, I managed to write between class, until I could no longer keep up! Essentially, I did not write any of that novel until exam season (last week), where I did manage to get in about 3k words in ~4 days.

Feeding Habits

I’m currently drafting what I believe will be the last chapter of this book (chapter 10: Swan Song). This chapter is so bizarre for a few reasons. It begins the book’s third part and also marks the shift back into Lonan’s head from Harrison’s. I originally thought this part would be much, much longer, with at least another five chapters to go, but quickly realized the book’s content was nearly completed. In my 4 day 3k palooza, I hit 50k in the book (the word count goal), and couldn’t see myself extending past 60k. Since then, I’ve made the loose decision to write this final chapter as a ~novella. Here are a few reasons why:

1. This chapter is structurally very strange.

I unashamedly shift from present to past to present to past past, and so much more every 12 words. I mapped out the timeline on a sheet of paper, and there were over 20 shifts in scenes (the chapter is only about 4400 words at the moment). The fictive past is incredibly important to this chapter, more important than the present, and I thought it would make more sense to not break randomly for a chapter so I could upkeep the consistent inconsistency of the chapter.

2. The chapter is very abstract

This stems from the structural changes, but there are paragraphs in this chapter of the fictive present that are loosely based in reality. They’re more poems than they are factual paragraphs, and keeping them all contained in one place (so a mega chapter/ novella) would reduce the most confusion!

3. There’s not much left to cover

Like I said above, Feeding Habits is on its last leg, lol! I know exactly where the book needs to end up, which is very, very soon from where I’m currently at on the timeline. Swan Song should cover what 2-4 chapters would cover in terms of arcs.

Feeding Habits and I have a really weird relationship, tbh! When I realized a few weeks ago that it’d been over a year since I started the book, I realized I just needed to finish it. Not that I want to rush (because I’ve taken longer than a year to write a book in the past), but that in order to move onto another project, I’d like to put this one behind first. This book has been the hardest thing I’ve ever written, and has reminded me there’s always a time to let go. This sort of scrounges up a conversation about letting this entire series go, which is certainly something I’ve been contemplating doing soon(ish). If this spinoff series gets a third book, that may or may not be the last Fostered book for a very long time (or ever)! There are many complex reasons to move on, but the main one is that I have other projects I’d like to focus on. This is not a definitive decision, but something I’ve certainly been thinking about!

Here are a few excerpts I wrote recently:

(TW: death, gore)

Dying feels like being a trout dangled out of water. Clinging to a hook. Mouth open. Scales iridescent in a final death cry. It’s like blood spurting up the knuckles, drowning out the flesh. It’s that moment on the long fall down when the clouds cup the body. Easy drifting. The sound a skull makes when it cracks is really just the afterthought.

(TW: death, gore)

Kill shot. Death blow. Coup de grace. Right in the heart. He feels it. The blood swelling, slicking his palms. He can do it. Reach into the cavity. Feel for the ribs. Part each bone. Then cup the humming heart. Stay there. Right. It’s never been easier.

Look at this PURE moment of Lonan holding a baby I CANNOT:

The grocery store was a fifteen-minute walk away. With Olivia clinging to his shoulder, Lonan was acutely aware that she could feel his heartbeat. Open valve. Close. Repeat. Hers pulsed right above his, a miniature drumming. The sky had bruised purple, misted with clouds. The evening air nipped his cheeks, so he made sure Olivia was securely fastened between him and his jacket. With wide eyes, she absorbed the drowsy suburbia, all its family cars pulling into driveways, all its couples heading back home after a sunset walk. When Lonan passed a young boy walking two golden retrievers, Olivia giggled, and didn’t stop, even after he’d spent fifty dollars on groceries and nearly the rest on a red Corolla marked with a MUST GO NOW sign outside a convenience store.

Let’s move on!

Mandy and Cora

I said I wouldn’t talk too much about this project, but I just love it so much?? I wanted to share my SUPER early thoughts on drafting a novel, especially one that is SO different from what I’ve been writing recently. I talked about this before in THIS post, but the summary about this project is that it’s a YA contemporary novel! Can’t believe I’m writing YA again, it’s been so long, but I also think it’s going so well. Everything I’ve learned as a literary fiction writer has been a fantastic primer for transferring back to the genre. Admittedly, I have not written much, but I’m having a lot of fun diving back into a lighter project. This is the summary:

Cora and Mandy are identical twins who’ve always done everything together. But when Mandy decides to go to university out of province after graduation and Cora doesn’t, Cora takes this as an opportunity to “test run” life apart from her sister for the first time by spending the summer at her aunt’s house across the country.

I have come up with a few ~things since I last talked about this project, mostly how I’d like to structure it. As of now, I’d like the book to be structured super loosely. I’m really pulling on a lot of inspo from “We Are Okay” by Nina LaCour (which is SO good), particularly how “nothing happens-y” that book is. This project (which I still need a title for!!) will be structured in short chapters that cover something Cora does on her own for the first time (without Mandy). For example, a few ideas are “Flight”, “Lunch”, and “Groceries”. “Flight” is the first “chapter” (they’re really kind of vignettes) where Cora flies to her aunt’s house. I still can’t determine if this book will take place in Canada. On one hand, I feel like there will be a wider audience if it takes place in the US (is that just an assumption??? maybe?? someone let me know!), but also: don’t really care too much about an audience at the moment! It could also take place in Canada (So Ontario and British Columbia). But if it does take place in the US, I think it may take place in NYC and San Francisco. The problem is: I really don’t like researching lol, and while I’ve been to NYC many times, I will definitely write it wrong! Does this really matter on a first draft?? absolutely not lol, but of course I am already overthinking!

But back to structure: I am looking forward to seeing what this looser structure will do. This is a story that is solely around one half of a set of twins learning to be her own person (and ultimately that she doesn’t have to completely forget her sister in order to do that), and as a twin who KNOWS this feeling, I think this structure of her doing things for the first time is SUPER relatable.

I was worried it might sound silly/worrying to others who are not twins that Cora hadn’t done things like “lunch” or “groceries” on her own, but I feel this so much as an identical twin myself! Not that she hasn’t done anything at all by herself, but as a twin, when you do something without your twin for the first few times, at least in my experience, you notice. If any twins are reading this--weigh in!

This story is the most personal thing I’ve ever written. It definitely is an OwnVoices book! Usually, I avoid details that are remotely similar to me because they make me uncomfortable haha, but with this book, it’s all me, lol! The characters are all Guyanese, which is SO fun because I’ve been planning what they eat (my fellow Caribbean peeps know: the FOOD!), which is so fun (yes they have pumpkin and shrimp, yes they have roti, yes they have pera, yes they have mithai). Every time I’ve gone to dabble at this book, or even think about it, I get incredibly emotional for this reason? I don’t exactly know why. I think this is a story I just so want to tell, with the culture I love SO much that I definitely struggled to love as a child. This is reclamation bitchessss!

Not going to lie tho: the prospect of writing ~a book~ is kind of freaky! I’m going to make the minimum word count for this book pretty short (50k) and see where it goes from there. I think I will focus on this project this summer! Originally I was going to write a literary novel this summer, but I think this one’s calling my name!

Here’s a pretty rough excerpt:

Try. I remind myself that’s what I’m doing after the flight attendant fills me a disposable cup of Coca Cola and all I can think of is Mandy and I shoving Mentos into a bottle of the stuff when we were twelve. Just me, wedged in the middle seat between an exchange student heading out for summer break and a middle-aged woman sipping a cocktail, thinking of Mandy and I bursting whole oranges in a blender when we were bored one Winter break as the plane dips through a wave of turbulence. Mandy and I dying our hair neon green with highlighters (didn’t work—our hair is too dark) as the plane lands on the tarmac. Mandy and I arguing so loud last month, we both lost our voices as I lug my carry-on out of the overhead compartment and shuffle off the plane and through the airport, searching for Aunt Vel.

Short Fiction

I’ve written so much short fiction this year! I have a goal to write a short story a month (they can range in length, as long as 1 is “complete”), so my short story brain has seriously been soaking it all up lately. Let’s chat my month to month breakdown so far:

January:

I wrote four stories in January! The first is a flash fiction piece called “Shark Swimming” that follows a young woman who attends a shark swimming class after breaking up with her girlfriend. I wrote this story for a “test” workshop for my fiction class, and it was based off the prompt “think about something you’re afraid to do and make the character do that thing”. I’m not particularly afraid of sharks, but had been wanting to use the title “Shark Swimming” for AGES (literally since 2018).

This story is one of my favourites. It’s only about 900 words, but I think there’s something profound in how mundanely specific it is. The entire story doesn’t even see the narrator swim with sharks once; it actually takes place fully in the sanctuary’s lobby. But I really love this narrator. This is the first story I’ve written in second person in a while, though I felt really connected to the unnamed narrator. She struggles with accepting that she truly is a “boring” person, and there’s something about the final image that really gets me!

I’ve been submitting this around, though it’s been rejected a handful of times. Hoping I can secure it at a magazine one day because I really love it!

The second story is “Joanne, I’ll Pray for You” which is actually a rewrite of one of my very first short stories (the first story I did not write for a class haha), “NYC in Your Apartment”. I LOVE this rewrite a lot, and also learned the original is not a very good short story! Revising this story taught me just how much I’ve learned in the 2 years I’ve been writing short fiction. Seeing the 2019 version versus the 2021 version side by side is fascinating because I essentially “gutted’ the 2019 version of its beginning and end until all that was left was the middle of the story (aka the actual story). AKA: this is the only story I’ve ever written with a hopeful ending and I cut out all the happy bits lol I am SO sorry (that arc is more for a novel or novella). That’s how this went from a 5k word story to an 1800 word story (my Submittable thanks me for this lol). A lot of details and scenes I included were more pertinent to a 3 act structure/novel, which of course short stories don’t often have because of their brevity. I love rambling about writing theory, and seeing that actually pay off is so fascinating!

(TW: trauma)

Like the original, this story follows Joanne, a woman in her early twenties, who spontaneously breaks up with her boyfriend. She claims the poltergeist haunting her drove her to this decision. The original draft focused a lot more on the traumatic events Joanne survives, but this draft really loosens them up. It focuses less so on the events themselves, and more on how Joanne’s life is affected. I found the details of these events were less important, and even sort of contradicted Joanne’s insistence she is being haunted. Instead, the poltergeist really takes more precedence in the new draft as a force Joanne doesn’t understand. That ambiguity, I think, is what the story truly needed.

I also centralized Joanne’s relationship with her boyfriend, Julian, here. Now don’t get me wrong, I really didn’t add anything to this draft. It was a matter of trimming the fat around it to leave the lean “meat” in the centre. But by removing that fat, I was able to emphasize what was most important here, and that was her relationship. Julian always played a really big role in the original draft, but I feel like his role as both a friend and partner to Joanne is much more emphasized since this draft literally is only two scenes now. Because there is less, there is more room for Joanne to reflect, which I’m happy about!

A final change I made was the setting and therefore the title. The original, which was “NYC in Your Apartment,” I couldn’t keep because I shifted the setting to Toronto (this is how I originally saw it, but in 2019 I just?? couldn’t?? write?? canlit??), and “Toronto in Your Apartment” sounded sort of gross LOL. The new title comes from a line in the story which I think is more relevant to the themes!

The next short story I wrote in January was “How to Spell Alpaca.” This one is super fun because I wrote it SO fast (in about 15 minutes or so). THIS is the writing update if you’re interested in learning more. I talked extensively about this one in that update, but some developments are that I dove into an edit a few weeks ago to really understand the core of the story. I’m still not quite there (this is just an intuitive feeling; I know not everything has “clicked), but I am really intrigued by the two mothers in the story, the narrator, and her newfound acquaintance, Violet. Both really struggle to understand their place as mothers (the narrator even declares she isn’t a mother anymore). The narrator, who is in her 50s, sees herself in Violet, who is much younger (~20s), and so she views Violet’s relationship with her daughter in a cautionary, yet mournful way, like she can see it will end up like her own relationship with her daughter, despite wanting the opposite. This is a really subtle story. I feel like if you blink, you’ll miss the message. But I think it’s compelling for that reason. It’s really a portrait of parenting and how to grapple with mistakes you may make that inevitably affect your children. Wow just unlocked the theme writing this lol.

The final story I wrote in January is “The Party,” which may be in my top 3 faves I’ve ever written. This story follows Aida, a recent divorcee in her ~40s. The day her divorce turns official, she moves into a new house and receives a party invitation addressed to the previous homeowner, yet RSVP’s anyway. At this party, she’s hoping to find some sense of noticeability, having struggled with being nondescript her whole life. Things seem quite normal at the party, until it gets bizarre.

I LOVE this story, y’all. Like “How to Spell Alpaca” it really delves into motherhood. Aida, our narrator, is incredibly hurt after her divorce. She now lives farther from her children she struggled to feel connected to in the first place, and doesn’t really know how to reignite her life. This party is a means to do that. This is the first story I’ve written that contains a “twist” which is strange because I really prefer stories that give us as much info as possible upfront, but yes, this one sort of twists.

February

I wrote one story in February, and that was “Protect the Young.” This title is SO changing when I think of a new one because it’s thematically incorrect, haha, but this story follows a woman in her late 40s whose daughter, Lindy, announces she is married the same day all their backyard chickens turn up dead. The discovery of dead chickens prompts our narrator to recall her ex-husband’s murder and the role her daughter may have played in his death.

I love this story so much! I think this would make a great closing for my short story collection. It just has that vibe! I wrote this for my second fiction workshop. I thought I had to hand in the story a week earlier than I had to, so I panicked and wrote this in one sitting! Little did I know, I did not need to do that lol but I’m very happy because this story is so fun. We get to learn more about Arnold (her ex), his relationship with Lindy, and how that translates to Lindy’s relationship with her new husband, Malcolm. I LOVE true crime (I listen to about 3-4 hours of case coverage daily), and this is my first “true crime” story. Because of that, I’m very sus of a few details that probably wouldn’t slide in actual investigatory work, so I’ll also be working on that in a revision. My professor also gave me a great suggestion that may alter the story’s structure a bit, though I look forward to toggling with it in the future.

March

In March, I was really on a Criminal Minds kick lol. I’ve been watching this show since I was seven (oops), and dove into a rewatch since it hit Disney+! This story, “Where to Run When the Lamb Roars,” is very clearly Rachel watching 5 episodes of CM a day. Oops! We follow 14-year-old Astrid as she and her older half brother kidnap a young girl to sacrifice for their yearly ritual.

I knew a few things going into this story, but the main thing was that I did NOT want to show any details of a potential murder (if one even occurs). I really wanted to keep all of those elements off the page because this story is not about those events, but about Astrid’s relationship with her brother. They are a murderous duo, with Astrid actually being the dominant partner. I wanted to explore that. I knew her brother, Fox, was more of a submissive partner in their team, even when he used to do this same thing with his father when he was much younger (chilling!), and so it was a task to explore how this young girl’s desire for violence works. The end actually comes right before the story starts, one could say, but I like it for this reason. It really made me contemplate the story by the time I finished it, and helped me examine what it really was about versus what it appeared to be about.

April

(TW: sexual content, non explicit)

I was so busy this month! Who knows if I’ll write a story last minute, but I did write one story this month called “Five Times Fast.” I wrote this during a “writing sprint” that was being hosted at a flash fiction workshop I recently took with one of my favourite writers ever, K-Ming Chang. I learned so much from this class, and am so happy I came out of it with a draft! This story is just over 300 words, so the shortest flash I’ve ever written, but I’m really happy with it. It was based off the prompt “describe the last time you or your character was naked.” In this case, the narrator has a “friends with benefits” relationship with Ricky who works at a laundromat. This story highlights a moment in this relationship (and also Ricky’s goofy personality lol). I really like it! Hopefully I’ll submit it to some magazines soon.

My short story collection

Very briefly I wanted to touch on my short story collection which I’ve titled “She is Also Dead.” I’ve been meaning to make a blog post on this, so look out for that in the coming months, but this collection is already at around 35k words (about 14 stories so far). The collection also surprisingly has a solid amount of flash fiction which is kind of fun! There’s definitely a range here, which is what I personally love in short story collections.

I feel very professional now that I have a ~collection chart. This is her:

(image description: A chart with the title “She is Also Dead.” It is broken into four columns: Story, Status, Word Count, and Published. Entry 1 - Story: Slaughter the Animal. Status: Revisions, Word Count, 3982, Published: N/A. Entry 2 - Story: Joanne, I’ll Pray for You, Status: Polished, Word Count: 1809, Published: N/A. Entry 3 - Story: Primary Organs, Status: Published, Word Count: 2342, Published: The Malahat Review. Entry 4 - Story: Faberge, Status, Polished, Word Count: 619, Published: N/A. Entry 5 - Story: The Wolf-Antelope Will Not Come for Us, Status, Polished, Word Count: 1556, Published: filling Station (forthcoming). Entry 6 - Story: How to Spell Alpaca, Status: revisions, Word Count: 1327, Published: N/A. Entry 7 - Story: Blink Twice for Final Judgement, Status: Polished, Word Count: 6572, Published: N/A. Entry 8 - Story: The Species is Dead, Status: Published, Word Count: 1208, Published: Minola Review. Entry 9 - Story: Shark Swimming, Status: Polished, Word Count: 907, Published: N/A. Entry 10 - Story: The Party, Status, Polished, Word Count 2339, Published: N/A. Entry 11 - Story: Fig, Status: Polished, Word Counter: 947, Published: N/A. Entry 12 - Story: Protect the Young, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4128, Published: N/A. Entry 13 - Story: Where to Run When the Lamb Roars, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 2174, Published: N/A. Entry 14 - Story: Phantom Limbs, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4844, Published: N/A.) /end image description.

This order is DEFINITELY not permanent (at this point whenever I write a story, I just fit it randomly into this chart lol), and some of the info is outdated (for example, Slaughter the Animal is now polished!!! thank god!!!). But just an idea of what I’m thinking of including.

This is the summary so far:

In SHE IS ALSO DEAD, characters are pushed to act on their gravest impulses. A small town turns murderous when their local invasive species, the Janices, begin dying. A child struggles to understand her mother’s suicide. A college dropout who insists she’s being haunted by a poltergeist unexpectedly breaks up with her boyfriend. A mother acknowledges her daughter’s murderous tendencies after her backyard chickens mysteriously die. A young girl caters the funeral of a girl rumored to be killed by a wolf-antelope. A newly-divorced mother RSVP’s to a bizarre party she was not invited to, and a murderous brother and sister upkeep their yearly tradition of abducting a young girl. These stories follow characters who navigate death, violent desires, womanhood, and loss, both self-imposed and otherwise.

This is also so subject to change as I may pull and add stories to the collection!

I think I’m going to leave this update here for now! I’ve written TONS of poetry too, but I honestly ~hate my poetry right now lol, so! Hope you enjoyed this chill rambly update. Hope writing has going well for you all! All the best!

--Rachel

#writing #writeblr #writerblr #amwriting #writingupdates

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hahanoiwont · 3 years

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Okay, hear me out: Sans gets a job as a physics professor on the surface.

I hear uni professors are super lazy.

okay tbh I think Sans would be like. a great and terrible professor. let us explore this idea let's play in this space

like his first year teaching. horrible. He's used to being a cryptic little gremlin and now he has to give away information? all of the time?? that's supposed to be a good thing??? no. He doesn't take it seriously and the students complain about how he's always late, his lectures are so obscure as to be meaningless, and he seems more interested in making fun of them than teaching.

Then I feel like maybe he gets a baby post-grad student who tracks him down from half a country away. They've read his extremely niche paper. It sneaks in clever but not mean-hearted academic mudslinging at the old stagnants in the field. It makes groundbreaking points from a unique perspective. It's positively made of jargon but the jargon is explained concisely and understandably. Baby postgrad has stars in their eyes--they had the exact same idea (it is not the exact same idea. but to their credit it is close and they would have gotten there if they knew more about magic) and he explained it so well. He's a genius, they say. Can they please sit in on one of his courses. any of his courses. They'll be a TA if he promises to read over this paper they've been writing, it's not done yet but they think it could really be something and he's the only person in the field to legitimize their theory...

Sans is not into this at all. He's a little weirded out, honestly. Or, he's trying to be. But also, he does remember being a baby physicist who wanted his physics idol to notice him...so sure, he'll throw them a bone. They can put in all of the work for organizing his classes and grading things and all, and he'll get coffee with them and talk theory once a week.

More fool him. Sans is microdosing on being a professor.

Baby grad student talks in their office hours about their "lecture hour" with prof sans and how he was actually just explaining something to do with... and to Sans's chagrin, people start actually attending his coffee hour. And then they start bringing their homework questions to coffee hour. And then x student has work but can y student record... and then Sans's lessons have just moved to a coffee shop. He is still teaching his class he's just not doing it when he's supposed to. There is an email chain going around with recordings for each lesson, and since Sans has never bothered with taking attendance, his coffee lessons quickly become his main curriculum, while his alleged lesson times are just times when his TA previews the material with the students and Sans makes jokes.

Reviews become mixed. About 6 students swear by his classes and will rearrange their schedules any which way to be in his class next semester. At least a dozen have dropped his class and refuse to take another from him. Baby grad student is actually getting somewhere with their research, which Sans absolutely did not expect. He starts actually using the lab time he was given to work with them on that, and since everyone knows prof sans doesn't care if you walk in or out of his classes, a couple of undergrads filter in to poke at diagrams and try to understand what's being said...boom. lab section of the course. It's not remotely covering the same information as, say, physics 101, but the students are getting experience and gaining confidence in a lab environment. And you're only allowed to skip lab safety if you have a provable ability to evade or survive multiple kinds of explosion and acid burns, so they learn lab safety, too.

I feel like at this point Sans's classes are less actual courses and more really informative interest clubs that students join for credit. You sign up, disregard the course information listed, and if you ask leading questions he might explain a particular theory or branch of pretty much any scientific discipline (since monsters have like 3 scientists, they try to cover everything). This works great until Sans gets annoyed with having to explain calc 2 a million times because someone has obviously failed in educating his undergrads. It's just in the name of efficiency and therefore laziness that Sans proposes a remedial study group.

So. Twice a week, prof Sans will teach physics 101, and once a week a rotating schedule of math, chemistry, or a handful of other subjects on request. If nothing is requested, he will do stand-up or magic tricks for 2 straight hours and then go home. (sometimes students organize and agree to not prompt him for anything so that they can see the show. it's pretty good stand-up and very good magic tricks). Twice a week, his undergrad duckling will cover mostly remedial calc and help with homework for whatever science/math class they can. Baby undergrad is finally hired by the school and no longer paid in food and research tips (some of which are cash but most of which are advice) from Sans. Sans is still allegedly teaching several courses, which he usually covers the material of; but only when cornered, bribed with coffee, or at the expense of one (1) joke. Most of his classes are just study groups under his or their own loose direction.

Strangely, this does seem to help students discover their own interest in the material, since it feels much more based in what they want to learn (because they have to put so much effort into getting their professor to actually teach them). Students take his courses for a laid-back semester, but actually end up learning a lot of diverse skills and shortcuts in a variety of fields. Sans is absolutely not preparing them for any kind of curriculum, but he is creating baby scientists in much the same way as he was taught--here is All of Science, what do you want to learn? We'll fill in the backlog of what you need to know as it comes up.

Magic allows for fascinating demonstrations, not only of how things work, but how it would look if it didn't work, or worked differently. Gravity is a universal favorite because Sans will sometimes let students jump from irresponsible heights and experience zero gravity for a while. Conservation of mass and energy has him summoning things out of thin air. When astronomy comes up, he'll take them out and let them use his own telescope to see exactly how this theory was first observed, or what it looks like when that theory comes into play in such and such a way. So Sans does not get fired for being a horrible professor. It's generally understood that any freshman who took Physics 101 with Professor sans M.S. may not have any idea what they were supposed to learn, but he turns out competent scientists who are willing to testify that he's the best thing that's ever happened to their science education.

Anyway I think Sans would end up as a wonderful professor--despite his best efforts.

#undertale #headcanon #i got carried away lol #i think sans has good stage presence and could be good at teaching #but i absolutely do not think he would stick to a curriculum unless it directly inconvenienced him that his students don't know things

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thoughtsaboutshows · 3 years

Note

“Let me kiss my baby”

FINALLY The next part in the fire drill AU.

Trigger warning there is some birth trauma in this.

The previous parts are here:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

gif by: @bettyjugheads

Nick had to admit the rocking chair was comfortable. Sabrina had been the one to register for it for the shower that her Auntie’s planned. He’d grumbled about the way it had barely fit in their car on the drive back from Greendale to Boston. But now as he rocked their baby girl he agreed it was both comfy and useful, as Diana Grace’s big brown eyes finally closed as she drifted off to sleep. He’d told his daughter the story of how he met her mom, and how brave she was when she’d given birth. The story seemed to soothe Nick just as much as Diana and he didn’t feel like putting her down just yet once she was asleep, instead he cradled her close and gazed at the little girl who reminded him so much of Sabrina. The girl he loved more than anything, and her mother who had been the center of his thoughts for years.

It was almost nine months exactly, Fall was just starting to stretch its legs, the new school year starting when it finally happened. Nick was usually buried in the papers of eager undergrads or his own research assignments, but he always found time for Sabrina. And every night since the one she’d told him she was pregnant she’d slept next to his side.

He had always been a devoted boyfriend, but he’d gotten even more so once she was carrying their child. He’d even gone and bought one of those body pillows, which Sabrina labeled as ridiculous. She’d tried it one time and promptly threw it away, perfectly content to continue using him as a pillow like she had been for years.

That night was no different. She was curled up to him, swollen belly and all, resting mostly on top of him when she felt the rush and pop between her legs. She’d had some cramping for the last few hours, but blamed it on the Mexican food she’d begged Nick to pick up. Now, she regretted the extra cheesy bean dip they ordered since it wasn’t indigestion, but their baby.

“Nick!” Sabrina whisper-yelled while sitting up and shoving her boyfriend's shoulder. He simply groaned in response and while Sabrina usually found his affinity for sleep adorable, the rising pain in her uterus made her annoyed. “For the love of God…”. She tried shoving him again to no avail before swiftly using her strength to roll him off the bed.

He fell off with a loud huff and Sabrina crawled through the mess on the bed to look down at an extremely disgruntled Nicholas Scratch in a heap on the floor wrapped in their blanket.

“What the Hell, Spellman?” Nick groaned, still unmoving. “I was sleeping.”

“So was I.” Sabrina retorted. “Quite soundly I might add. Until my water broke.”

“Until your what?” Nick grumbled wiping his face, but stopped mid rub and sat up abruptly. It made Sabrina giggle when he finally got with the program and looked at her wide-eyed like a deer in bright headlights. “The baby’s coming.”

It wasn’t a question, but a statement and Nick was up on his feet immediately. He ran for the clothes she’d set aside to wear to the hospital and tossed them too her, before peeking out the window at the weather. He’d gone a bit overboard in preparation for their child, packing three separate suitcases all in case of various weather. If Boston was going to surprise them with an early snow storm, Nick would be ready. Thankfully there was no snow in sight and the weather was perfect for a middle of the night drive to the hospital. Nick held Sabrina’s hand as they made their way from the apartment to his car and in the hustle and bustle they hadn’t had a chance to express their excitement.

So that’s why they paused, Nick’s hand on her door handle, to look at each other in the eyes and laugh.

“Let’s go meet our daughter, Spellman.” Nick told her and leaned in to kiss her tenderly, placing his hand lovingly on her belly. Their kiss was interrupted by a contraction which kicked them back into gear and had Nick helping her into the car. Nick talked her ear off the whole way there, which Sabrina was grateful for, as it distracted her from the pain. Despite how much it hurt, she was still determined to follow through with her plan for as natural a childbirth as possible. She triple checked with Nick that he’d packed Hilda’s homemade natural remedies and that’s all she was determined to use.

They’d decided early on that they wanted to know the sex of the baby, partly because Sabrina couldn’t handle the guessing and waiting and partly because they’d decided to keep that a secret from their family. That meant she could hold it over Ambrose’s head for months that she knew something he didn’t. Her cousin had tried bribing Nick with imported bourbon and rare books but Nick was determined to keep it a secret too. It was fun for him to have something to tease the Spellmans with, and he knew he’d face the wrath of Sabrina if he spilled the beans. Zelda Spellman had tried to unleash her fury at being kept out of the loop. But Nick had long since learned that a pregnant Sabrina was far scarier than the Spellman Matriarch.

But Nicholas Scratch when his girlfriend is in labor is a scary sight too, and he ensured that every staff member in the labor and delivery unit knew that Sabrina Spellman needed their attention. They had their moments throughout the process though, because they wouldn’t be them if they didn’t push back stubbornly against each other. Nick insisted Sabrina consider an epidural for the pain, not so much because she couldn’t handle it but more so because he couldn't’ handle seeing her face contorted in a way that meant she was feeling anything but pleasure. And Sabrina, by hour six was getting far too annoyed by all the young ladies on the floor who just had to comment on how handsome Nick was. Whether it was the receptionist or the girl taking their food order or some random person in a hallway when she went for a walk they’d all glance at Nick and Sabrina’s bare ring fingers and ask Nick how his friend or sister was doing. He’d always swiftly correct them, informing the admirer that Sabrina was his girlfriend and the baby was theirs and they were oh so excited. But when the fourth person told Nick how good of a friend he was for helping his single-mother friend she’d had enough, yelling at them that she was carrying his child and they had very vigorous sex life. One that continued throughout pregnancy right up until the previous night when Nick had gone down on her following their Mexican take out. Sabrina had even congratulated Nick for helping labor along, confirming the theory that sex could jump-start it. The guilty party was some nursing aid from another floor who was just passing them in the hallway and Nick was sure Sabrina’s reaction would keep her far away from the labor and delivery unit for years to come. Sabrina smacked Nick in the arm when she realized he was laughing before crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes.

“What, I was not about to let one more person assume that I am some wronged woman and that you are available. I mean who does that? Hits on someone in a labor and delivery unit.” Sabrina held her chin in the air, perfectly fine with the strangers around them continuing to hear their conversation.

“We wouldn’t have this issue, Spellman, if we were married.” Nick leaned against the pop machine and bit his lip to keep from smirking at her. It was to no avail though, when Nick got cheeky there was no stopping his smirk from pushing through even the best disguises. “Or at least engaged.”

“Well, Nicholas, you’re the one who hasn’t asked me yet.” Sabrina somehow held her chin higher and stood closer to him.

“Well someone hasn’t given me the green light to be able to.” Nick snarked back and Sabrina narrowed her eyes, fighting a smirk of her own. Neither of them were serious. They were so unbelievably on the same page when it came to their marital status that they were sure they got on better than most couples who’d already tied the knot. It went without saying for both of them that they’d be married some day, just not today, and even when they had talked about it there was no compromise. Just simple agreement. Even so, they still liked poking at each other and Nick found it hilarious and downright adorable when Sabrina got territorial of him. He hadn’t expected to be hit on at the hospital either, but the jealous reaction it brought out of Sabrina made him love her even more. He had certainly had a jealous moment or two in their years together. Especially when he’d moved out of the dorms and she still lived in one, and he was no longer a floor away from her at a moments notice. But she’d only ever had eyes for him, and him for her, so really neither of them had anything to worry about in the first place.

“Fine, marry me.” Sabrina shrugged nonchalantly but her smile had turned wide. They’d gotten around to saying this lately, as a way to make their promise to each other but to relieve the pressure that they had to plan anything now.

“Fine.” Nick shrugged right back and kicked off the pop machine to close the distance with her. He kissed her once, hard and quick, and wrapped his arm around her and pulled her back towards their room. If his time was correct, because of course he was tracking, Sabrina was due for another contraction soon. And he wanted her to be comfy in bed with him around to rub her back when it came.

“Your Aunts and Ambrose are settled into their hotel.” Nick told her, glancing down at his phone for just a minute. “They’ll be back in the waiting room soon.”

“I don’t know why they don’t just wait at the hotel.” Sabrina shook her head. “It’s not like I’m letting them into this room until after she’s born.”

“They love you, Spellman.” Nick brushed a strand of hair out of her face. Her forehead was sweaty and she’d forgone her headband but Nick still thought she was stunning. “They wanna support them through this even if they can’t be by your side.”

“I can’t believe Zelda actually thought I’d let her in here.” Sabrina laughed. “There are some things that even aunties who raised me can’t see. Besides, I just want it to be me and you first.”

Nick smiled and kissed her gently. She sighed into it, allowing his gentle press of the lips to soothe her. God she loved this man. And when another contraction came he stopped kissing her and held her hand, not even caring that her grip was turning his fingers red.

It was all fine until it wasn’t. That’s how it usually was.

She was sleeping until the blaring fire drill sent her outside.

They were giggling over a bottle of wine until they were fighting over the future and broken up for a few days.

Things were moving smoothly until they weren’t. Until she wasn’t progressing and their daughter was in distress. Until the doctor’s voice took on a note of panic that Sabrina and Nick didn’t like to hear. The staff threw around words like abruption and too much blood and low heart rate.

All of this meant that before either could say otherwise they were wheeling her bed to an operating room, Nick struggling to keep up as they pulled her away, telling him there was no time for an epidural. They’d have to put her under, and they needed Nick out of the operating room. The doctors gave them a few moments though in pre-op, just a minute or two, just in case.

Nick didn’t know that love could hurt this much. He was perfectly aware of the pain associated with not being with the one you loved. It was a cut he’d felt back when he and Sabrina broke up temporarily. It took him a while for their reunion to feel whole and real, so he patched up his still fragile heart as best as he could by holding her tighter and tighter each night. But he couldn’t hold more than her hand right now. And soon, he wouldn’t even be able to do that.

“Save her.” Sabrina commanded in a quiet voice, still strong despite being hoarse. She looked right at Nick and then turned her gaze to the doctor nearby. “You have to save her.”

Sabrina’s desperate plea to do what they could to save their baby nearly ripped Nick right open. Part of him wanted to argue and disagree, command that they focus on her. But the larger part, the part whose heart beat alongside hers and loved her beyond reason, the part that loved that baby so damned much and would do anything to protect it, found himself nodding along with Sabrina.

To say he was terrified was an understatement, already envisioning a life without Sabrina, raising a daughter alone. He couldn’t picture quiet mornings with coffee and scrambled eggs without her contagious giggle. Fall would be unimaginable without her dragging him to this festival and that haunted house, once and a while pretending to be scared so he could hold her tighter.

The nurses readied her for the anesthesia, giving the couple one final moment before they’d escort him out.

“Nick…”. Sabrina breathed out in almost an inaudible way. He’d only see the crinkle of her brows furrow this way a few times. “I’m scared.”

Nick’s heart nearly stopped beating in his chest and swallowed thickly. He ran a hand through her hair and kissed her forehead, scrounging up all the strength he had. She was usually the one bolstering him and while he’d stood by her and held her hand all these years, there weren’t many times when his fearless girl would admit to being afraid of something.

“I’m here, babe.” Nick told her and kissed her hair again, cradling her hair like she was the most precious thing in the world. He was terrified too, the love of his life and their child hung in the balance, and it was all in the doctor's hands now. “I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed her nose and her cheeks in her lips before brushing her hair back so the doctors could work. “I’ll be right here when you wake up. I love you.”

Sabrina held onto that before her eyes shuttered closed, exhausted. The doctors moved Nick out of the way and wheeled her back. Nick collapsed onto the ground, allowing himself to give into his tears and fear. He’d face the waiting room where the Aunties and Ambrose were itching for news eventually, but he needed to collect himself first. At least as best as he could.

Nick ran and found Ambrose and the aunties as soon as he could, offering a fumbled update through tears before running back to where he was allowed to wait. It was tense, and it felt like years before the surgeon found him out in the hallway. He was on the ground, praying for the first and probably last time in his entire life, but stood up as soon as he saw the doctor. HIs face was unreadable, and all the people skills in the world wouldn’t help Nick figure out what he was going to say.

Nick nearly snapped at the guy, wanting to yell at him to get on with it, until the doctor smiled.

“It was close, but she’s okay. They both are.” Nick nearly crumpled to the ground in relief. “We managed to save her uterus too, so if more kids are in your plans-”

“I don’t care about that.” Nick interrupted because in the moment he didn’t. All he cared about was that his daughter was alive. That Sabrina was alive. “Can I see them?”

“Yes.” The doctor smiled and nodded. “Come with me.”

Nick nearly ran down the hall, but stopped in a room where Sabrina was lying on a bed with a nurse nearby taking care of a small bundle.

Sabrina looked up at the noise and saw Nick, tears pouring down his cheeks and smiled weakly.

“Hey, you.” She said to him and Nick didn’t waste anymore time, moving to her in two strides and taking the chair next to her bed. He leaned in and kissed her slowly, not caring that the nurse saw.

“God, Spellman, you scared me.” He kissed her forehead. “Don’t scare me like that, okay?”

“Okay.” Sabrina nodded and brushed her hand through his hair. She couldn’t come up with something witty at that moment, too tired and grateful to be alive. “Wanna meet our daughter?”

Sabrina waved the nurse over who carried that bundle of blanket to him. It wasn’t just blankets at all, but a tiny baby girl with a head of dark hair and bright eyes.

“Hey there.” Nick said to his daughter when she was laid in his arms. The nurse let them be, leaving the room to give them some space. Sabrina brushed her hand through Nick’s hair again and wiped a tear from his cheek. “Hey, Diana Grace.”

They’d decided on a name shortly after finding out they were having a girl. Naming her after Sabrina’s mother had been an easy choice, the middle name after Nick’s even easier. A few tears leaked out of Sabrina’s eyes too, watching in wonder as Nick took to being a father immediately. He knew just how to hold their daughter, how to swaddle her, how to change her diaper perfectly. He helped Sabrina get into the best breastfeeding positions and was right there to offer an arm of support when the nurses had her try to watch. It baffled Nick that they’d have her walk around so soon after having major surgery. He knew mother’s were strong, but Sabrina was the strongest of all.

Diana drifted off to sleep in her bassinet and Nick settled in the chair next to Sabrina. She’d tried to get Nick to get into bed with her but he was nervous, all too aware of the stitches holding her abdomen together. So he cuddled as close as he could and grabbed her hand, playing with her fingers and focusing on her breathing.

“Sabrina, I-” Nick told her after a few quiet moments. It was late into the night and he was getting emotional, the day catching up with him. “I thought I was going to lose you. I thought I was going to lose both of you.”

“Hey, hey.” Sabrina brushed her hands across his cheeks. “You didn’t lose me, Nick.”

“Sabrina I almost did.” Nick explained. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t made it. I can’t do this without you.”

“Oh you would have been alright.” Sabrina tried to joke. “Imagine all the tail you’d have gotten as a hot single dad.”

“Spellman, that’s not even funny.” Nick shook his head.

“Come on, it’s a little funny.” Sabrina held up two fingers, but her face fell when she saw he wasn’t laughing. “Nick, you would have been okay because you’re you. You’re already an amazing father. But most importantly, you don’t have to do it without me, Nick. Because I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Sabrina, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Nick.” She pulled him down and kissed him softly. “And I love our little family.”

“I don’t want to live this life without you by my side, Sabrina. So-” Nick paused, nervous.

“Oh my God are you about to propose?” Sabrina cut in, suddenly laughing.

“What?” Nick’s face twisted in surprise. “No, of course not.”

“You totally were.” Sabrina smiled. “You were totally gonna do the near-death proposal.”

“So what if I was?” Nick was laughing now too. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t thinking about making their relationship more official. But now he saw the ridiculousness of it. A post surgery proposal was so not them.

“Nick, no!” Sabrina shoved him lightly. “You can’t propose to me here!”

“Am I the one loopy and on drugs or did you not accost me earlier for not being married to you.” Nick pointed out, smirking at the memory of earlier in the day.

“I was pissed and in pain and not in my right mind. And neither are you if you think I’d say yes to a proposal because of a near death experience.” She held her chin in the air and Nick chuckled in response, leaning down to kiss her pouted lips.

“Don’t worry, Spellman. I promise to not propose to you right now.” Nick brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead. He almost missed her face which was part disappointed and part relieved, and he filed away the fact that she wanted to be engaged soon. That much he could tell. But he was not about to do it when she was out of it and on pain killers freshly cut open. But he’d do it soon.

Nick held Diana even closer to his chest when she fell asleep. He’d never been more grateful in his life than he had been when the doctor told him his girlfriend and daughter were alive. He hadn’t left their room other than to grab the Aunties and Ambrose, who seemed to have fallen in love with little Diana Grace just as quickly as he had. Ambrose especially, was wrapped around that girl’s little finger, and it was hard to miss the tears in Zelda’s eyes.

They settled in their apartment in Boston after staying in the hospital for a few days and her family stayed with them, the C-section adding some extra recovery time. They’d needed all the help they could get, though by the end of a week Sabrina was ready for her aunties to leave and ready to spend some time just the three of them.

The Aunties and Ambrose had left a few days prior, and Nick and Sabrina were really settling into their new life. They still weren’t planning on getting married yet, and they weren’t in any hurry. Nick would propose eventually, they’d get married and they’d get pregnant with baby number two on their honeymoon, baby number one living it up at the Mortuary getting spoiled while they were gone. They’d move back to Greendale to be closer to family and to raise their babies on Hilda’s sweets and Zelda’s sarcasm. Their life would be an adventure and crazy and beautiful.

But for now, with the birth of their first child, things were new and exciting. Nick had snuck away to get Diana before Sabrina could when he saw him stirring on the monitor, the hint of a cry starting. Nick told Diana the story of her mom, how they’d met, and all about their eclectic family. Nick believed his girlfriend needed some rest and peace and quiet so he got to her first, feeding her a bottle and reminiscing all of their history.

He didn’t know though, when he was seated in the rocker with their daughter, that she’d woken up not long after him. She felt the spot next to her, the one that he’d occupied since the night she told him she was pregnant, and noticed him missing. They had hardly spent a night apart since then, as Sabrina moved her stuff into his apartment the very next day. She missed his warmth, being able to put her head on his chest. And though she logically knew he was in the next room, she went in search of him anyway. She’d heard the whole thing, the story from start to finish how they’d met and started dating and ended up here: in a forever kind of love with a kid to boot.

She laughed when she heard him complain about her yelling at him for thinking of proposing, and Nick’s eyes shifted to her in the doorway. She looked marvelous despite her sleepy eyes and messy hair. She was wearing a shirt of his, a favorite of hers that she’d put one nearly every night after she became too big to fit in her own pajamas.

“Hey, you.” Sabrina said to him before kicking off the door and coming to stand by where he was seated. She moved to kneel down and placed her arms on the arm of the chair. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“I wanted you to get some sleep.” Nick smiled at her. “I love you in that shirt.”

“It’s still one of the few things that fit.” Sabrina explained.

“I don’t care.” Nick shook his head. “You could wear that for the rest of our lives and I’d applaud you for it.”

“Okay, okay.” Sabrina rolled her eyes and then looked down at her daughter, all cozy and cute in Nick’s arms. “Now let me kiss my baby.”

Sabrina leaned down to kiss her daughter’s forehead but before she could Nick smirked and kissed her lips instead. She yelped and giggled and sunk into it, sighing and relaxing into him.

“Okay not what I meant.” Sabrina whispered against his lips and then kissed him again. “But I’m not complaining.” She kissed him one more time before kissing their daughter’s forehead and taking Diana from his arms. She cooed a little but didn’t wake up, and Nick smiled at how Sabrina whispered and sang softly to her. He followed Sabrina as she carried their daughter back into their room and placed her in the bassinet next to her bed. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing her neck whispering I love you against her skin. She shuddered, never unaffected by him, and pulled him back to their bed.

She pressed her cheek into his chest in hopes of finally falling asleep. She was met with an old friend, the scratchy and worn yet somehow soft fabric of an old pajama set he had. She breathed in the memory of him holding her close underneath a blanket, as those were the same pj’s he’d had on the night of the fire alarm. It was shortly after they’d started seeing each other and shortly before he’d asked her to be his girlfriend. She didn’t even know he still had them, but the laundry had been piling up from lack of sleep and lack of time so he pulled the only pair left in his drawer and threw it on as Sabrina had pulled on the last of his shirt that didn’t have baby puke on it. He kissed her forehead and she snuggled closer still, both delirious and exhausted, but fell asleep smiling, and stealing some comforted rest until their sweet baby girl needed them again.

Before their eyes shut Sabrina sighed and leaned up, catching his gaze on her.

“Go to sleep, Spellman.” He ordered in a soothing voice, his own eyes nearly closed.

“Fine. Marry me?” She asked him smirking.

“Fine.” He answered, eyes fully closed but smile wide. He pulled her tighter, plans already forming in his had to ask her officially. Someday, and in a way that is perfectly them.

#nabrina #fic: fire drill au #finally this is done #one more part to go eventually #nicholas scratch #sabrina spellman

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