#baby kenobi

[starchivist]

Baby Kenobi

i don’t know how to write serious summaries/synopses, so you get this: obi-wan gets ambushed with the daughter he didn’t know he fathered while she’s roaming the galaxy looking for mama in a sort of reverse finding nemo. shenanigans and accidental fix-its ensue.

warning for below the cut: none that i can think of, aside from an extremely confused narrator

Stitchup hates everything about this.

“Look, sir, we’re just travelers,” he insists to the trio of bounty hunters, simultaneously glad for and resenting that this mission required he be in civilian clothes and not his plastoid shell. Behind him, General Kenobi is calm and still, letting Stitchup be the focus of the standoff. After all, Stitchup might have a face that’s repeated by a few billion others, but that can be fixed with a bit of contouring — and the hunters are from a race of sentients that are wired more for overarching shapes than small details, meaning his voice is the thing most likely to give him away as a clone in this situation. Jedi High General Obi-Wan Kenobi, on the other hand — his face is far more singular, and his accent is very distinct, which means he has a much higher chance of being recognized if he speaks up.

The hunters buzz, clearly unconvinced. “Sure,” the lead hunter says, the translator at their throat crackling faintly. “Listen, bucko, you can’t seriously think we’re that stupid. General Kenobi’s ship crashed here, and I can’t think of any other reason for a clone trooper to be here. Can you?”

Motherfucker. He’s been suppressing his accent, dammit! “I’m not a trooper,” he tries, knowing his General is about to do something idiotic if he can’t de-escalate and get them out of here. “I’m just a traveling doctor,” he says levelly. “That’s all.”

The lead hunter buzzes again, derision dripping from their stance. They take a step closer—

“Papa,” a young voice says, and only sheer professionalism save Stitchup from jumping about a mile in the air. He turns to see a small humanoid girl trotting up to General Kenobi with Great Purpose, going right up to him and tugging on his sleeve. “Papa,” she says again, a soft, chirping rumble beneath her voice. “I can’t find the right tools — they’re all for droids ‘n engines.”

To Stitchup’s utter shock, General Kenobi doesn’t miss a single beat before playing along, bending down to meet the girl and chirping back.

“That’s alright, Anate,” he says gently, his Coruscanti accent somehow completely gone and replaced with something else. “We’ll just keep looking, yes?” Then he makes this — crooning, trilling sound, and the girl responds in kind with a warbling purr.

“Okay,” the girl says, reaching out her arms when General Kenobi stands in the universal request to be picked up. Again, General Kenobi plays along as flawlessly as if the two of them had rehearsed this beforehand, scooping her into his arms and settling her against his chest with a quiet “Hup!” She makes another purring noise, shuffling as best as she can to get more comfortable, then finally turns her attention to Stitchup and the bounty hunters. “Hi,” she says, peering at the hunters past thick, feathery white hair that covers half her face. “Are you policemen?”

The droning buzz of the hunters is, this time, very clearly uncomfortable. “Policemen,” the hunter on the left echoes carefully, stepping forward and crouching, their blaster holstered in the same movement. “Sorry, kid, my translator doesn’t recognize that. Wanna tell me what that means?”

[milkcioccolato]

Jedi Master Maul faces the greatest obstacle of his existence: being tiny

[jedi-starbird]

Time Travel is my favourite trope and I think we need more fics where both Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon time travel together because no matter when they get sent it's chaos. They're saving the galaxy and being physic flash-bangs to everyone around them.

like before Bandomeer?

The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.

"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.

Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.

'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.

"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.

"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.

after Naboo?

Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.

Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.

This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.

the Clone Wars?

The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.

Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)

The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.

"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"

"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"

[bon-sides-sw]

Obi-Wan wants to introduce Anakin to someone, sadly Anakin doesn't know many manners.

[darthmalewife]

Cody is the type of guy to adopt an old, scraggly looking cat. He isn't going to, but then he hears someone in his building is moving, and they can't keep their cat, so either someone takes it or they get rid of it. And Cody reluctantly gets pressured into taking it.

And at first they're roommates, sometimes he talks to it like it's a person. "Ripley, where is my phone? C'mon old girl, you saw me with it."

But then the cat gets used to him, and suddenly, he sits at night watching TV with this cat sitting on the arm of the chair next to him. "You see that? Unrealistic. You'd have to stick the knife deeper for it to bleed that much." "Meow."

But then, one random night, he's had a bad day. He's frustrated and annoyed at everyone and everything. He's sitting with his feet up on the table in front of him, and he's scowling. Then these little paws start stepping across his abdomen, and he stares down at the cat in bewilderment as it curls up on his abdomen and falls asleep. He gives her a little scratch behind the ear, and she purrs rather loudly.

After that, it becomes a nightly tradition.

Eventually, she gets out of his apartment and finds her way to a kind stranger and befriends him. When this kind stranger brings her back, Cody and this kind, friendly, and rather handsome stranger start getting along. A couple of months later, Obi-Wan wakes up in Cody's bed to see Ripley, the little old lady, sitting on his chest staring him down.

[nhyhu]

Here's the three pieces I made for @codywanreversebang!

Go check out the fic here by @embeanwrites, @insertmeaningfulusername, and @wixiany. The entire fic is out now :D.

It's been really fun working on this story with everyone!

the sketchs/right before rendering

[ewokmurderbear]

happy fathers day all the amazing star wars dads

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

Fanfiction isn’t enough I need my favorite much older and traumatized fictional man to literally break my pelvis

[techwrecker]

What is Star Wars, if not a space dad and his adopted chaotic child?

[padawansuggest]

Qui-Gon: *had to bring kiddo Kenobi to a meeting*

Obi-Wan: *squished into a chair next to Yoda and taking a light nap*

Yoda: :)

Qui-Gon: *fighting with the council over his latest mission*

Mace: You see these premature wrinkles on my forehead? That’s all cause if you and your bullshit, Jinn!

Obi-Wan: *wakes up and blinks sleepily at him* They don’t look very premature to me. *falls back asleep*

Mace: >:(

Qui-Gon: …*collects his sleeping Padawan off the Grandmaster and beats a retreat* nvm we can talk about this later I should put him to bed-

Yoda: :( took my seat warmer, he did.

Mace: Ugh, I hate both of you.

Yoda: My grandbaby, stolen.

Mace: I’ll get you a new one. That one’s trouble.

Yoda: Like that one, I do :(

Mace: I know.

[catladychronicles]

Glowing & glistening angel

[milkcioccolato]

The last of the sketches!

[ooowyn]

this was a prompt on discord and i was like yep. i'm drawing it.

[bon-sides-sw]

I don't think i've posted this one (old art)

i love my mommywan

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

Cody, collecting seeds on every planet they go to: Enrichment for my beloved’s enclosure.

[notsomeloncholy]

Oooh two little someones got into the fountains...