#baby announcement yard sign

[dogwoodstorks]

Dogwood Storks

[famosly-made]

[strawbeerossi]

Backyard Shenanigans

Pairing: Gender Neutral!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: When David Rossi is away for some book related event, you convince Spencer to sneak into his backyard with you to take a dip in the pool

Content/Warnings: Casually breaking the law, fun banter with Spencer, sub!Spencer, handjob, minor praise kink, they get caught after the fact

Word Count: 1.7K

Kinktober Day Six: Pool Sex

Navigation || Kinktober Masterlist || AO3

“I don’t think this is a good idea.” Spencer stuttered as he glanced around nervously, trailing behind you while you held his wrist. “I think you’re being paranoid.” You hummed in return. Breaking into David Rossi’s backyard couldn’t be that hard, could it?

Dave was currently away for some book signing, leaving the pool in the backyard fully open for anyone who decided to use it. That’s why you were dragging Spencer with you, the moonlight illuminating the streets as you both ran together. 

“I’m not! W-What if Rossi has cameras?!” 

“Then we will smile and wave at him while we use his pool, duh. We both know he won’t be able to get mad at us.” She stated while the two eventually approached the house, well, mansion, in question. “There is no way we are getting over that privacy fence.” Spencer chimed in. 

Ugh. Anything to try and run away to go home.

“Give me a boost. I can unlock the door to the fence inside.” He had no choice in the matter as your hand was resting against his shoulder, the male awkwardly leaning down before cupping his hands. “Just don’t break something. I will not hesitate to run and leave you there.” He grumbled. With your hands on the top of the wooden fence, you’d slid your way over. You managed to take a tumble, underestimating your cat like reflexes but you were fine. Just a bruised ego. 

He didn’t wish you harm but part of Spencer hoped you hurt yourself, giving him the chance to run and leave you to explain just why you were in David’s backyard. Unfortunately for him, the sound of a latch being lifted had alerted him. “I told you that I could do it. Now get in here.” 

“We are gonna get arrested for breaking and entering.”

“I didn’t break anything, can’t arrest us for just entering a backyard.”

“Right..”

As soon as you’d gotten Spencer inside the backyard, you were quickly latching the gate again while facing him. “Alright. Now let’s swim.” You grinned, your hands moving to unbutton your shirt while the male in front of you was flabbergasted. “What are you doing?!” 

“What? I can’t swim in my clothes. Come on, Reid. I thought you were some big brained genius. You can swim in your outfit if you want but I’m not ruining mine.” You spoke in a simple tone while getting the button up you had on off before tossing it to the side, tugging your shorts down your legs soon after. 

Spencer was at a loss for words, mouth wide open as his gaze was fixed on your body that was half exposed to him right now. The thought of your underwear being the only thing separating the rest of you from him, it had unholy thoughts crossing his mind. He could feel a heat rushing to his cheeks, slowly rubbing the back of his neck as soon as he had to drag his attention away from you. 

“Come on, don’t be a baby!” You groaned while heading over to your partner in crime for the night as you were letting your hand mess with his vest. “I know you are probably embarrassed but I promise that I’m not gonna judge you. Let’s just do something fun! Besides, I think we will have the ultimate bragging rights at the office.” You mused. 

There was no doubt you’d be telling everyone at the office about this. You managed to get away with sneaking into Rossi’s yard! That was an accomplishment within itself.

“F-fine. Only because I want Morgan to see that I’m capable of doing something like this.” He grumbled, making you smile widely as you were letting your arms shoot over your head in victory. “Yes! Okay, I’m gonna get in.” You announce, sitting on the edge of the pool while dipping your feet into the water. “Oh my god.” You shivered while just taking the plunge, pushing your body into the freezing cold water. The faster you got adjusted, the faster you would be able to mess with Reid by splashing him and being a menace.

Spencer had watched you throw yourself into the water while swallowing a lump in his throat. This wasn’t something he’s done. Swimming in his underwear is just like being in a swimsuit though, right? 

He was moving to push his slacks down his legs before heading over to lay the clothes he’d taken off on a lounge chair. He was really going to do this. “Jump in!” Your voice urged while he was looking at you with raised eyebrows. “Isn’t it cold? Why would I jump?” The question didn’t warrant a response, instead making you climb out of the pool while standing beside him. “We are jumping together.” The sight of your skin dripping with chlorinated water had him clearing his throat.

Just think of something else. Baseball.

“Are we? Cause I didn’t sign up for-” However he was cut off as your hands shoved him into the water, a laugh leaving your lips as he was falling into the deep end of the pool, a big splash hitting you in the process. Seeing him resurface had you putting a hand up to your mouth to laugh. “Y/N!” He groaned while brushing his hair back from his face while you were jumping back into the water, in turn causing a huge splash to hit him in the face.

“Sorry.” You laughed, noticing the pout on his face as he looked in your direction, his wet hair being pushed back from his face soon after. “You didn’t have to push me in.” He grumbled, causing another laugh to escape your lips as you shrugged. “Would you have jumped in?” 

“Fair enough.” He puffed, your hands moving to rest on his shoulders in preparation to dunk him under the chlorinated water.

Spencer could feel his breath caught in his throat as he could feel the warmth radiating off of your body even in the cold water, the mere idea of having any inch of your bare skin against his had waves of electricity coursing through all two hundred and six of his bones. His face was flushed, the idea of even the slightest touch overpowering his many ways to avoid getting hard.

There was no hiding it as you pushed him under the water, feeling his hard cock graze your leg the minute he went under. Your cheeks were hot the minute he came back up, mouth parted slightly. “Are you- Are you hard right now?” 

“W-what?!” Spencer squeaked. You’d caught him. Fuck. “I-I.. No! Why would you think that?”

“Because you aren’t very good at hiding it!” Your voice was a higher octave, yet you still stayed put. “I’m sorry.” The man was humiliated, which wasn’t what you wanted in the slightest. You’d had a lot of fun tonight, you didn’t want an awkward encounter to ruin the relationship you two had.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Even though the privacy fence covered everything, you were glancing around the backyard anyway. “Do you uh.. Do you want help with it?” 

The question nearly knocked the wind out of Spencer. “In the pool??” He asked, face now a deep shade of red while he bit his inner cheek. 

“Nobody will know.” You added on soon after while offering a smile, arms around his shoulders as you made an effort to pull yourself closer. You weren’t expecting this in the slightest when you made plans tonight but hey, that’s the beauty of life.

After a tense silence, Spencer was the one to take that first leap, his lips crashing into yours. It was rushed, desperate. He needed you, he knew that much. As you reciprocated the feverish kiss, it wasn’t long until your hand was sliding between your bodies. “You’re sure that you want this?” The words were muffled against his lips considering he just would not let you pull away. 

“I do. I do. Please..” He whined, hips lightly bucking as your hand was resting the prominent bulge in the underwear he’d gotten in with. Hearing him beg sent a round of arousal through your body, head nodding as you were letting your hand gently slide down the waistband. This rush of confidence was new for you, for sure. Regardless, you had your hand slowly wrapping around his hard cock, hand slowly pumping along the shaft that was standing at full attention. 

Spencer’s eyes were squeezed shut, mouth agape as a series of shallow breaths and whines were escaping his lips. “Ah~” He shivered, your hand moving faster under the water as you leaned forward to press a few soft kisses against his neck, loving the way his body reacted to the smallest of touches. It was like he’d been deprived of touch for years.

Then again, he was a sweet and awkward little thing so you figured it made sense he wasn’t exactly getting touched as much as he’d like.

As your hand dragged along his cock, you lifted your head from the crook of his neck to take in every reaction.”Does it feel good Spencer?” It was an obvious question but you so desperately needed to hear that whiny voice. 

“Y-yes.” His voice was breathy, cheeks red as he bucked his hips into your hand while letting his head fall against your shoulder, face nuzzling in your neck. “I-I’m gonna-” He panted against your skin, making you squeeze the base of his cock before picking up the pace of your hand. 

You knew he was far gone the moment he bit down on your shoulder to suppress a cry, however it didn’t really muffle much as he was cumming from your touch. “There we go.. Good job.” You cooed, hand slowly slowing down before your hand was pulled from his boxers.

However the time was short lived whenever you felt the light of the back porch turn on, both of you nearly having a heart attack as you both turned around. “What the hell are you both doing in my backyard?” 

“Swimming.” You and Spencer both rushed to speak, faces bright red. 

“I’m gonna pretend like I didn’t see you both and give you time to get out of my backyard. Don’t let me catch you sneaking in here again.” David grunted while narrowing his eyes at the both of you. “You’re getting billed for when I get this pool cleaned as well.” He huffed, turning around to go back inside.

[famosly-made]

[leclsrc]

hi auds bear!! dunno if you saw charles' insta story of his new sky ad but now begging for a 2k celebration blurb of dad!charles <3

misspelled �� cl16

genre: fluff, 2k celebration, girldad!charles

“It’s L-E-S, love.” He points to the piece of paper peppered with doodles. “Go ahead for me.”

The sun is high and sweltering, with noontime March heat, but still Charles is undeterred in his quest to get your daughter to spell his name properly. The evening prior, you’d presented him with a welcome home card signed by her, and addressed to Daddy Charlse—cue the Leclerc dramatics.

He’d pressed about a thousand kisses to her tiny face, thanking her over and over and keeping the card in his bag so they could cook dinner together. But once the pasta was finished and the toothbrush jingle was sang (twice) and he’d stowed her off to bed (three storybooks later), he padded over to your bed and sighed lowly, stopping just shy of the foot of it. Already you’d sensed his incoming anxious complaint.

It comes. “So. Charl-s-e.” 

“She’s four, honey.” You’d shut your book softly, smiling. “She spells her grandmum’s name as Packal.”

“It’s because I’m always out for work, isn’t it?” He climbed into bed beside you, perching his chin on your stomach. “And this is also because Max keeps insisting he babysit, sweetie. I swear, he’s brainwashing my baby girl.”

You laughed; the vibration extended into him and he smiled fondly at your reaction. “Charles, it’s nothing. They’re working on spelling at school, you know—she’s got a few words she gets wrong sometimes, the same ones. But she’s learning.”

“Charl-s-e,” he’d repeated sullenly. “Charl-seh.”

“If it matters that much, why don’t you try teaching her tomorrow?” You swept your hand through his hair, mouth in a half-smile. “Make an afternoon of it.”

He’d taken your advice very seriously—woken up a bit earlier, cooked them both pancakes (and you French toast, as always) and led her into the yard for some daddy-daughter time. “If you’re thirsty, I made lemonade,” you sing-song from the patio door. “You two’ve been at it for a bit.”

There are scrapped pieces of paper with his name misspelled on most of them—there is the occasional success, though you’re guessing Charles wants just one more—and drawings of your family all over them. You already sense the influx of pictures Charles has on his phone, of these drawings and cards he always posts on his Instagram or sends to you.

At your announcement, Julia looks up, green eyes piqued with interest, grip on the red crayon loosening. But her father’s faster, gently coaxing her back into the mini lawn chair that sits on the yard. She nods along his careful instructions, writing slowly, sun filtering through her light brown hair.

You get short moments of reprieve like this during the season. It’s rare for Charles to visit if he’s in the thick of it—most of the time you travel to a different city to see him, Julia going from your hip to his arms in seconds once he spots the two of you. But this moment is irreplaceable: the sunrays on the grass, the lemonade waiting to be drank, the pieces of paper with Mommy and Papa, bunchfuls of grapes on the patio table. 

He tries again. “Come on, love. C-H-A…” 

She bounds into the kitchen five minutes clutching a final paper, which she shows you with a sun-tinged face of pride. CHARLSE, it reads still. You pour her a glass, wait for Charles to finish packing up the rest of the art materials Julia was too excited to do herself; he comes in a bit sweaty from the sun asking to see the card.

You hand him a glass and press a kiss to his cheek. “Still S-E,” you say, both of you reading over the various scribbles.

“I don’t care.” He pauses. “You see this?” He points to the lower part of the page. 

Best Daddy Ever is written on it in wild vivid colors. You beam, love bubbling up in your chest overwhelmingly. He takes it from you and tacks it onto on the fridge, smiling. “She wrote that. I couldn’t have asked for a better card.” 

[maculategiraffe]

the city just distributed regulation "yard waste" cans (in addition to the existing trash and recycling cans) and announced that they would no longer be picking up yard waste in any other receptacles. and the baby, who loves dragging the cans to the curb on trash day, was APPALLED by this news and told his mom he wanted to write a letter of complaint to the city. so he dictated it and she wrote it down and he signed it

[wittlesissyb4by]

The bABy Shower

“Did you remember to get the diapers?” she asked.

“I did.” I said, “I didn’t realize how damn expensive they are!”

“Well that’s the cost of having a bABy!” she laughed. “And you better keep that in mind if you don’t want to be buying some for us one day!”

I gulped at the horror of the thought.

“Why do I have to go to this thing anyway? I thought…’Showers’...were more of a girl thing?”

She scoffed. “Maybe back in the 2020’s...but nowadays things are a little different. Plus...I want you to get a good idea of what you might be in for one day...”

Again, I shifted uncomfortably as I glanced down at the invitation again:

The sound of my newlywed wife, Sandra, flicking on the blinker to exit the freeway snapped me out of my daze.

When we pulled up to the house, there was one of those over-sized yard signs that read “Welcome Baby McEntyre!” in alternating pink and blue colors, with balloons attached to match.

“Come on!” Sandra said, tapping the unisexly wrapped box in my lap as she climbed out of the car. I must have been daydreaming again.

“Ohhh Hiiii!” said a woman coming down the walkway to greet us, mimosa splashing as her heels clanked down the cobblestones. “I’m Agnes!” she said cheerily, hinting that it wasn’t her first mimosa of the day.

“Hi! I’m Sandra, and this is my husband Tom” she said, introducing us. “Sorry we’re a bit late, it’s hard getting him out the door sometimes!” 

“Oh I understand, BELIEVE me! I swear I feel like I'm having to crack the whip too often with my own husband sometimes!” Agnes said, and they both laughed exaggeratedly as if it were a joke I didn’t seem to get. “Well come on in! Everyone is outside in the back!”

Inside the 3-story home were the sounds and smells I’d come to expect of a women’s gathering. Laughter, flowery/powdery smells, and finger foods that probably were keto, paleo, or something-or-another-o. Talking about whatever it is women talk about.

“I’m telling you: when my little one is stopped up, I put a little prune juice into his bottle, and he’ll be pooping three or four times that day!” one said.

“Yea but I dunno if I wanna be changing three or four dirty diapers a day!!” said another, and they all laughed.

Another woman came down the stairs as we crossed the living room.

“Finally got him down for a nap!” she announced to the room with a sigh, “I swear he gets so fussy every time we go out in public like this!” And all the women nodded in agreement.

One lady pulled a bottle out of the microwave, the milk inside seemed to be a bit clearer and mistier than breast or formula. “Where do you get all that from?” Someone asked. The lady laughed as she checked the temperature of the pearly liquid on her arm. “Well...let’s just say my new husband is quite the producer! He keeps my little man quite full! In more ways than one!”

They all cackled hysterically. It was all so much for me to handle. Or, at least, I thought it was. But that was until we stepped outside…

******

Outside, everything was dialed up to 11. It immediately felt like we were at a kid’s birthday party. With a bunch of women all busy and bustling around with their 2-year-olds.

Except, instead of 2-year-olds, it was a bunch of grown men dressed like 2-year olds.

“Oh hi Sandra! How are you?” A woman called over her shoulder. She was busy shoveling green mush onto a baby spoon and shoving it into the mouth of the grown man sitting in front of her. He had a blue and teal onesie, a bonnett on his head, mittens on his hands, and the grumpiest of looks on his green-stained face.

“I’m doing well, Patricia!” my wife replied in her cheery voice as if nothing were amiss, “and you must be Randy!” She cooed at the man twice her size. He glared at her but said nothing, just opened his mouth so Patricia could fill it with more peas. The spoon skimmed the side of his mouth, as if purposely done to make a mess around Randy’s beard. Patricia used the giant bib around his neck that read “Stand By...Diaper Loading” to wipe it up. But it just seemed to smear and make more of a mess. Patricia didn’t seem to care and just carried on talking “you know i got him this beautiful little...” but their chatter seemed to fade as I tried to take in my surroundings.

A man crawled by me on his hands and knees in nothing but a t-shirt and a very large diaper that probably used to be white but was now a shade of yellow with a large blue stripe down the middle. There was also a very large lump in the back that was making it sag significantly. He knelt in front of two women sitting at a picnic table and held his arms wide open. Like a toddler in need of something and unable to express it. He said something that made both the girls laugh. Until one of them squeezed the front of his diaper and patted his padded bottom “Awww! Not yet sweetie, but maybe later after Mommy has another glass of wine!” The man literally burst into tears right there. Sobbing like an actual baby. The woman seemed unphased, just reached into the bag next to her and pulled out a large pacifier. Except when she turned it around, instead of a nipple, there was at least a 5 inch rubber penis attached to it. She slid the penis pacifier into his blubbering mouth. Muffling his cries. Until of course he spit it out and started crying harder. Her face immediately went from laughing to that of a scorned mother. Without hesitation, she scooped up the dildo dummy off the ground and smacked him across the cheek with it. Pointing a stern finger directly in his face before jamming the cock down his throat with force. Holding the back of his head while he choked and squirmed until she could tie the attached ribbon around it tightly. Keeping it securely in place. His sobbing stopped. But there were still plenty of tears.

A hand on my back startled me. “Come along, Dear” Sandra whispered in my ear, taking me by the hand and leading me through the bizarre crowd.

It seemed there were “babies” everywhere. All of them were men, but not all of them dressed in the “manly” colors of blues and greens.

One man was sitting on a blanket wearing an oversized (yet somehow still undersized) pink tutu. The frilly skirt did nothing to hide his diaper underneath. A stranger stood over him, cooing at him and pinching his cheeks. “Awwww!! I wuv your wittle piggy-tails!!” She teased while he sucked his thumb and tried to ignore her. His face turned as pink as his outfit while his mascara ran from tears forming in his eyes.

Not all the bABies seemed to be ashamed though. As Sandra and I walked past the playpen we heard a lot of crinkling coming from inside. Two of the men—one dressed like Tinkerbell and the other like a tiny Sailor—had their hands in each others diapers. Moaning and groaning furiously as they rubbed each other with their mittened hands. Another bABy in a pink princess outfit sat next to them, unfazed. (S)he was rocking back and forth cross-legged, smacking blocks up and down repeatedly. Her mouth was open and drool was hanging out. She seemed to be in some kind of haze. Whatever was playing through the headphones strapped to her head seemed to be having a profound effect on her.

A woman with an incredible ass sauntered by the pen, and a fourth bABy that was pretending to play with dolls immediately tossed them aside, turned on his tummy, and started humping the ground furiously in his diaper while staring at her.

“Gus Gus!” another woman called, storming over “Stop that right now!!” She yelled. Smacking the humping bABy on the back of the head and jerking him up by the wrist, yanking him out and over to her seat with the crowd of women she had been sitting with. “We do NOT go goo goo in our diapy!” She scolded in front of everyone. Pulling him over her lap and spanking his thighs while he cried like a baby.

“See, that’s why I keep mine locked up...” said the woman sitting next to her. “Watch this!” She said, turning her gaze elsewhere, raising her hand, and snapping her fingers twice.

A man in normal clothes conversing in another group immediately turned his attention to her. She crooked a finger and beckoned him over. His face instantly turned from casual to concern as his shoulders dropped and he sauntered over to her and the group of women.

He stood there awkwardly as she snapped again. This time pointing down. “Drop ‘em!” She barked. And his quivering hands immediately fumbled with his belt and zipper, and his pants were at his ankles. A large fluffy diaper underneath.

She placed a finger into the front of his diaper and pulled it forward. Peeking inside. “Go on girls! Have a looksy!” She announced, and all the girls immediately took her up on the offer and leaned in to peer into the front of his diaper. They all collectively gasped.

“Wowww!!”

“It’s so intricate!”

“And so tiny!!!”

“I love the little padlock!!”

“Are those spikes?!”

“It’s adorable!!”

The man stared at the sky, visibly sweating and shifting back and forth.

“Oh that’s not even the best part!” His wife announced. And with that, she started pulling one side of her dress off of her shoulder.

The man immediately started shaking his head. “No, Mommy! Please!!” He begged. His voice suddenly high and squeaky. 

The woman pulled aside her bra with ease, exposing her voluptuous bosom for all to see.

The man was trembling. As if  the bare boob were some kind of monster. His knees pressed together as he gripped the front of his diaper. 

She patted her leg softly. “Come here, little one.” She said to her 6’3’’ husband. He sniffled as he delicately laid across her lap, into her arms that cradled his head. His snivelling intensified as he came face to face with her gorgeous breast. She gently cupped her tit and placed the nipple to his mouth, ‘shhhing’ and coddling him as if he were an actual baby in need of nourishment.

His eyes squinted as he began sucking the nipple, his hips convulsing a bit as he did so. Clenching his legs tightly and whimpering as if in some sort of pain. I had no idea what was going on, but all the mothers around him apparently did, and thought it was hilarious.

“Awwww! I think somewon’s getting exciiited!!”

“Poor wittle thing!”

“Serves him right. He should learn to control himself!”

They all nodded in agreement as the woman rocked the nursing bABy back and forth.

There was the slight clinking of a bell behind me. I turned to see where it was coming from, but didn’t see anything in the distance. I adjusted my view downward and saw a woman leading a dog by a leash. But when she stopped moving and the dog came out from behind her, it wasn’t a dog at all. It was a sissy in a pink puppy outfit. Her hair was in long, curly pigtails and written across her face in lipstick were the letters W-H-O-R-E. Her lips taking the place of the “O” in the word.

“Would you like a blowjob?” the woman holding the leash asked, as if she were a vendor selling something as simple as hotdogs, “only $5 bucks!”

She jerked the leash a bit so that the bell around the pet’s collar jingled. Immediately the puppy rose to a “begging” position with her paws outfront and her tongue hanging out the “O” of her mouth.

“So…” the woman continued, “shall the two of you find a bathroom or a shed somewhere to...do your business?”

My mouth must have been making an “O” as well from my dropped jaw. I didn’t know what to say. Glancing back and forth. I looked to my wife for help. But she just shrugged and smirked as if to say “Hey that’s up to you...if that’s what you want…”

“Uhh..hmm..ahem” I stammered. Trying to find my voice for the first time since arriving at this whirlwind of a party. “N-no...no thank you.” I said.

The woman with the leash shrugged, “Your loss. She’s getting pretty good...gonna have to start charging more soon!” and with that she yanked the leash and the two jingled away. 

“There he is!!” 

“It’s him!”

“The new bABy!!”

There was a raucous from everyone in the crowd as they all turned back to the house. A lady in a black dress with scarlet red hair was standing arms crossed as what  looked to be a large, wooden high-chair was wheeled out by two large black men. It was decorated in alternating blue and pink ribbons and streamers. When they turned it around, I got a full view of the occupant in the chair. It was my best friend, Michael.

His wrists were cuffed to each end of the table top, his ankles cuffed to the bottom.. His hands were encased in mittens: one pink, one blue. He didn’t have on any pants, white briefs (Which I mistook for a diaper, at first. Can you blame me??) and a white T-shirt with a giant question mark across the front.

“Thank you all so much for coming!” the woman with scarlet hair, Moira, announced as the crowd hushed. She had a distinct air of confidence about her that drew everyone’s attention. She cleared her throat and spoke elegantly. “Michael and I first met several years ago back in 2031. It was love at first sight, and I eventually knew I wanted to have a baby with Michael. But when the Population Reformation Act passed a few years later, I found myself reevaluating my decision. Though we, as women, are no longer allowed to choose when we can have a baby, there is no denying we will always have those maternal instincts so heavily ingrained within us.”

All the women around me proceeded to nod their heads in agreement. Muttering ‘amen’ in unison. 

“That’s why, when the Hubbies in Huggies Act was passed, I knew there was no denying this was always the plan for wittle Mikey all along!”

Michael seemed to sink in his chair as the women all clapped and hooted in accord. It seemed like just yesterday he and I were golfing together when he muttered that he had something to tell me. 

“So, please, come say your final goodbyes to the ‘man’ I married. Grab some punch. Grab some snacks. And let’s all reveal the Gender of wittle Mikey in 30 minutes time!”

They all clapped once more and were about to scatter when Agnes drunkenly called for attention. “And for our bABy shower game today to celebrate wittle Mikey, if everyone will please grab a diaper and write a cute or humiliating little note across the front so that Michael and Moira can remember you every single time he gets a change!” she turned to look at me “Tom, I assume those are the diapers?”

Suddenly all eyes were on me. I had been so enamored by all the chaos going on around me throughout this nightmare of a party that I’d forgotten I'd been holding the box of diapers the whole time.

I gulped, and nodded. Stealing a glance at Michael, who was glaring at me as if I somehow betrayed him. I placed the box down and barely got it open before all the women hounded in to grab a diaper and a sharpie. Others went to coo at Michael. Pinching his cheeks and telling him how excited he should be. But still he kept his gaze on me. I could do nothing but avoid it and walk away.

*****

“So what should we write?” Sandra asked, pressing the sharpie to the front of the very large diaper that had B-A-B-Y printed across it on little baby blocks already. 

“I dunno.” I grunted, wishing to get this all over with. “How about: ‘I’m sorry, Man’”

Sandra shook her head, “Not cute or clever enough. Plus we don’t know if he’ll even be referred to as a ‘man’ any more after this...Oooh! I know”

And she scribbled across it. Holding it up to show me.

“Wittle Clitty inside!” she giggled.

“How does that work? He doesn’t have a clit, and you don’t even know if he’s gonna be a ‘gurl’ either!” I argued.

“Oh trust me. Moira told me how small his thingy is. It might as well be called a ‘clitty’ no matter how the rest of this shakes out! Now go put it on the pile! The reveal is going to be any minute!”

I begrudgingly took the giant diaper over to the table with all the others. Examining what was written across them.

First of many!!

Poop! There it is.

All ‘Ga ga’ and no ‘Goo Goo’ from now on!

Caution: Tiny Objects inside! (Don’t worry, definitely NOT a choking hazard!)

Only THOUSANDS more to go!!

Open at your own risk!!

Roses are red, violets are blue, will this one have pee, or will it have poo?

It was all so ridiculous and humiliating. And I wasn’t even the one the diapers were intended for. What was the world coming to that all of this had become so normalized?

There were gasps from the crowd. 

“It’s time!”

“It’s TIME!”

The women gathered round. Their bABies gathered with them. Though, in their own unique way. 

Moira came out carrying a cake with white icing that had large sparklers and candles crackling on the top. The women all cheered and sang a song to the tune of Happy Birthday, but all the words were something different. I felt like I was in the middle of some strange occult ritual. They all cheered as the song ended.

“Blow them out, Mikey!” they called.

“Make a wish!” someone else said, “Though I doubt it’ll come true!”

Michael sat there frowning as they sang. Grumbling as they beckoned him to blow out the candles and wish like an infant on their first birthday. But he must have known it was no use protesting with all these people around, including the two giant black men.

He gasped and blew with all his might. Extinguishing the candles. Everyone cheered. Everyone but me.

“And now!” Moira called opening up a large knife, ceremonial style “The time has come to find out if we’re going to have a little boi, or a little gurl! A little Mikey, or baby Michelle!”

The crowd clamored. Placing their last minute bets. 

“I think it’s a boi!”

“It’s gonna be a gurl!”

“I know The Drawing is supposed to be 50/50 but I swear it leans more towards bois.” one said, “Like Congress doesn’t want to shock too many of them by making them gurls”

Moira placed the knife on the cake and made one long cut down its center, then another at a slightly wider angle. She made one last look at the crowd as they collectively held their breath and then gave a wicked evil grin at Michael. Pulling the slice of cake up with the knife, and revealing.......

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Uh oh! Do we have a wittle Mikey on our hands? Or an adorable Michelle? Guess you'll have to find out by going to Substar, Gumroad or my new Reams site! I'm currently in the process of uploading everything to the latter, so if you prefer Reams as a site you may want to wait a bit for me to get all of my stories uploaded. Thanks for your patience, and for your support!

[i-am-a-l0st-gh0st]

Good morning, this is my second Gaming request for the day. Warning: Anti-Yun Jin, sort of. It's much longer than my previous requests. Please kindly consider this Gaming angst request: Basking in his newfound relationship with Yun Jin, Gaming completely forgets that he's been betrothed to you ever since you were babies.

So, when he brings Yun Jin with him to Qiaoying Village to the Lantern Rite reunion festivities and to formally introduce her to the villagers as his girlfriend… absolute chaos: the village elders and your father start screaming how dare he dishonour you. Yip Tak gives his son a stern look before asking if he had forgotten about his betrothal.

You use the chaos to slip out as you already knew this would happen; Gaming's letters to you had, over time, grown shorter and less frequent. You return home to bring out four things: your family's copy of the betrothal contract, the unfinished wedding dress you had been sewing, a pair of scissors and your family's portable fire pit.

Returning to the reunion, you set the fire pit right in the middle of the hall and light it up. You then proceed to tear the betrothal contract into four and throw the quarters into the fire pit. The unfinished wedding dress; cut into pieces and into the fire. You give Gaming a firm and unforgiving look before untying the promise bracelet he gave you from your wrist and cut it into half (signifying you want nothing to do with him from henceforth) and drop it into the fire.

A couple of years later, you are now the dim sum chef at Liuli Pavilion; your dishes are a must-have on every dining table. It is at this time, Gaming comes back to you, begging for reconciliation. Apparently, he and Yun Jin had broken up because she has decided to marry the man the troupe Elders chose for her. You remind him that he had long burnt his bridges with you and slam the door in his face.

Please also kindly take as long as you need with this request; I have no qualms in waiting. Furthermore, by no means feel obligated to prioritize this request over your other requests.

You're just another picture to burn- Gaming x Fem!reader

There's no time for tears T/w- Anti yun jin (sorta), ex gaming, called off wedding Summary- As shown above

A/n- I have made a Hsr oneshot acc, I'll link it here when I set it up properly.

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They were so happy. They thought their ‘love’ would never end. That it would be something that lasts forever. Gaming and Yun JIn were all over each other every day of the week. So when he announced he’d be marrying her, the village elders looked to you in sadness. You were the one he was supposed to marry… Not her… What did he see in her? All she could do was dance… she wasn't special.

“You’re supposed to marry y/n! You know this Gaming!”

“But what if I don't want to? I don't love her, I love Yun Jin.”

It hurt more than it should’ve, but you had to get it in your head. He doesn’t love me and he never will. Taking the chaos as a sign to slip away, you hid in the sanctuary of your room. You could see the photos your mother had forced you to put up of you and Gaming. Tears were flooding your eyes, you ripped all the photos down, placing them in a crumpled heap on the ground.

Put on a manakin next to you was the wedding dress you were trying to make. You’d wanted to keep it traditional, so it was a bright white colour. The sleeves were going to be down on your shoulders with white flowers embroidered. The chest of the dress was also covered in the white flowers. The gown reached down to just above the floor so it wasn’t dirted at the wedding. You supposed it would go to waste now. You threw it on the pile of photos.

You rummaged through the drawers and found the contract you had both signed at 11 for your wedding. Ripping it into pieces with rage you placed it on the pile. You had also grabbed a pair of your scissors on the way out. Heading out to the yard near the fire pit just harshly placed the items you brought. First the photos. You could see the town watching you doing this. Gaming looked hurt. But nothing could compare to the way he had hurt you.

You watched the memories slip away. Your smile, his laugh, the way he held you. They were nothing but embers now. The four pieces of the betrothal contract were also put. Now your wedding was nothing more than a memory. You picked up the scissors that you had and started snipping the wedding dress you had worked hard on. The fabric quickly faded to black in the fire. You didn’t feel sadness anymore but mainly anger.

“I want nothing to do with you nor your girlfriend.”

Many years ago he had given you a promise bracelet and told you he’d be yours forever. You cut it in half dropping it along with the rest of the items. Watching your past slowly burn away.

“Y/n you're being ridi-” Gaming said, but was quickly interrupted by an elder.

“You have no right to speak about being ridiculous.”

4 years later

You both had grown apart these last 4 years. Barely making eye contact with one another as you walked by. News reached your ears that Yun Jin and Gaming had split. It made you happy to see them fall but at the same time, they seemed like they loved each other, a lot.

While lost in thought you heard someone call your name. “Y/n? Is that you!”

Gamings voice was unmistakable. The joy that was always in his voice, he could always lighten up a room very easily. That was one of the things you used to love about him.

“Y/n… Im sure you’ve heard the news by now…”

“About you and Yun Jin?”

“Yes… that… I was thinking… Would you take me back?”

You couldn’t believe he was standing in your dim sum shop, after he dumped you all those years ago, and is now despite to rekindle that. The audacity of this boy was sad.

“No. My answer is no. You left all those years ago for a girl you thought you loved. That was your decision, not mine. We called off the wedding in your favour and I am not making your parents and mine go through that whole thing again.

[moonspirit]

How will Aruani tell others that they are pregnant?

I feel like Annie will want to just be blunt but Armin will want a whole cute plan.

Armin wil want to do something like buy everyone coffee and write on their cups, Auntie Pieck, Uncle Connie etc

Then Annie’s like “why don’t we just tell them”

Also when will they tell everyone? Again, they will likely disagree here, with Annie wanting to wait and Armin wanting to say asap

Hi anon!

Ohhh but Armin's absolutely allllll about those elaborate plans that go the whole nine yards and then FAIL because the others completely aren't normal at ALL T/////T

I feel like he'd plan something super adorable like put a tiny copy of Annie's ultrasound in the fruit basket or inside the bread casserole... to be discovered by the others during dinner - and then he'll make the grand announcement.

But Annie forgets that he told her not to let anybody in the kitchen before he's there, and accidentally tells Reiner to um- to go ahead and be seated.

Cue: Reiner enters the kitchen and also calls Jean for dinner on his way.

Cue: Reiner gets hungry and opens the bread casserole.

Cue: He gets the ultrasound and yells in shock.

Cue: Jean is alarmed and confused and tries to get it from his grasp.

Cue: The others enter the kitchen.

Cue: Awkward silence as they see Reiner blushing in the face while holding an ultrasound and Jean bending over him to get it but that's not what they see

Cue: Pieck faces the camera and makes the victory sign: "Guess that makes our first Mpreg baby. Congratulations to the father and father!"