#babeeee i ranted in a reblog again

[stars-and-guts]

this reminds me of my parents so much in an odd way

my dad explained to me once (he had a shitty childhood) that he could have ended the generational trauma by staying childless but he wanted to pass down positivity. he wanted something good to come from the hell, almost. im putting this into my own words and mildly translating so with a grain of salt ofc

the way i see it? hes basically trying to stop the trauma on hard mode. its a video game thats titled something like CRAWL OUT OF THE HELLHOLE and easy mode is going my bloodline ends with meee raaaaaahhh (which is what i will probably be doing) and hard mode is doing all of that this ends with me but also having to raise a child. greater reward, much greater challenge

my mom i think is similar to my dad in the sense that her parents tried their best to stop the trauma in their household and she wants to continue into a positive cycle

anyways thats so fun for them because im still a wee bit affected from being the test rat in this situation and getting all the genetic mental illness / neurodiversity that they refuse to acknowledge