#babe wake up a new favourite episode of all time just dropped

[raven--stag]

Sooo... Um. "Fool for love" huh.

I wish my brain was functioning properly right now so I could write a fucking doctoral thesis about how absolutely BRILLIANT this episode is. However, it left me curled up on the floor shaking and crying, unable to put words together in a sentence that would make sense to anyone but me. So, yeah. What a fucking episode!?

As a side note, the fact that btvs writers clearly could write something of such quality but didn't /couldn't makes me really fucking sad. Because nothing in this show prior to this episode made me so feral and I feel like they missed out on a lot of opportunities to make their show this special.

A bit of incoherent thoughts because I just need to put it somewhere: something about Spike saying "I've always been bad" and them cutting to him being nice and kind and polite and gentle. Something about them telling us that demons are just shells of humans with no emotions or anything underneath. And then showing us bits and pieces of human Spike that he somehow got to keep? (like that parallel between vamp Spike saying "ow ow ow" as Buffy beats him up and human Spike saying the same thing as Dru draines him). Don't get me wrong he's a fucking asshole but he's capable of decency (if not kindness) and he's still as cringe as he was before he grew out a shiny pair of fangs. And him KNEELING BEFORE BUFFY as he tells her the secret of her mortality (crappy screenshot attached because I can't get it out of my head)

And him being unable to kill her and being the only person that kept her company in THAT moment.

There's more things but my brain is all mushy and I literally can't think straight.

[acciowests]

19 with elorcan?

i had so much fun with this, two-year-old cal has my whole heart, he's so adorable

Bubbles and Baked Goods

WORD COUNT: 1707

PROMPT: Little one needing an emergency bath.

"There he goes again," chuckled Elide, her hand cupped over Lorcan's where it rested on her very pregnant stomach.

They'd just put Cal down for his nap, the toddler tucked up in his bedroom whilst he and Elide had some alone time downstairs. Nowadays, alone time just meant being in each other's company without their two-year-old climbing all over them. Lorcan had put on the new episode of their favourite show, letting his wife curl against him. With her bulging stomach, she could hardly get comfortable, but in his lap with her head on his shoulder, she was finally able to settle. Now, his hands were rested on her stomach, feeling the seven-month-old babe kicking and squirming inside her.

"He's moving so much more than Cal ever did," Lorcan commented, hand circling Elide's tummy.

She nodded in agreement, shuffling a little so her back was to his chest, "I'd be happy about that except his most active time is night-time… No wonder I'm so tired."

He let out a laugh, pressing a kiss to her hair, "I know, I'm sorry baby. Not long until he's here though... but we won't be getting much sleep then either."

She hummed, shifting forward until she was off him completely, going to stand and stretching awkwardly on her feet, "Speaking of, that son of yours is being eerily quiet. It's been an hour so he should have woken up like fifteen minutes ago."

He reached out, grabbing her hand and pulling her back toward him, "Five more minutes, babe. C'mon, I'll even give you a foot massage, you did say your ankle's been playing up again."

"As tempting as that sounds," she sighed, pulling from his grip and making her way to the stairs, "I'd rather go collect Cal than wait for him to start crying for us. You know how much he hates being stuck in his cot once he wakes up."

He watched her go, one hand on the stair railing and the other cupping her back. He'd definitely have to give her a massage later once Cal had gone to bed, maybe if they were lucky they could have some actual alone time too. Reaching for the control, he skipped through the channels, knowing that Cal would probably want Paw Patrol on but putting on the sports channel just in case. He was somewhat immersed in the ice hockey game when Elide's voice came, echoing down the stairs.

"Lorcan!" she called, "Lor, quick!"

He had never moved so quickly, taking two stairs at a time as he rushed toward his son's room. When he entered, pushing open the door, he first noticed Elide. She was sat on the floor, away from Cal's crib and was looking down at something. A giggle erupted from the corner and he followed the sound, finding Cal where he sat happily before Elide. Only, it was clear she hadn't put him there, hadn't even collected him from his cot. His little two-year-old baby boy had managed to climb down from his crib and emptied the art cabinet. Now, he had covered himself in the paints they had been playing with before his nap, yellow pigment spread across his cheeks, his hands smothered in red and blue that appeared in prints across his arms, legs, and clothes. Luckily, the cream carpet had been rescued, Cal sitting on his blue rug and not having ventured yet to painting the walls.

He clapped, paint splattering like freckles over him, "Dada, look, paint!"

Letting out a sigh, he collapsed down next to Elide, "Right, yeah, I see that, buddy."

Cal giggled again and Elide pressed her head to Lorcan's shoulder in defeat as their son only made more mess. He picked up a paintbrush before decisively dipping it into the yellow paint that, luckily, was beginning to dry up. "Mama," he started, waving the brush toward her, "Paint Mama's belly yellow like the sun!"

She could only laugh, smiling at her little boy and making Lorcan's heart leap, "That sounds like a great idea, bud. But, could we do that tomorrow? Mommy would really like to clean you up in the bath right now."

Cal frowned, his little lip pouting and Lorcan swept in, knowing that while he would love to play with their son, painting in the bedroom wasn't quite the best idea, "We can play with bubbles and Mr Quackers, and you can even have some cookies when you get out."

He perked up at that, "Cookies and milk?"

Lorcan nodded, unable to hide his grin, "Cookies and milk, promise. Now, why don't you let mommy undress you while I go fill the tub, is that okay?"

Cal nodded, dropping his paintbrush and moving over to Elide, lifting his hands so she could remove his shirt. She chuckled, shaking her head at them both as Lorcan pressed a kiss to her head and disappeared down the hall, telling her to shout if she needed anything. He prepared the bath, warm but not too warm, filling it with all of Cal's toys and adding in the bubbles. It still felt like yesterday when they were giving him his first bath as a newborn. He didn't know where all the time had gone.

He turned to look over his shoulder as the door creaked open, Elide stood with Cal on her hip, all ready for his bath. "There are my three favourite people," he beamed, jaw aching with the weight of his smile as Cal put his hand on his mother's bump, leaning into her affectionately.

Elide waddled over, setting Cal down on the edge of the bath so he could dip his chubby hand in, "Is the temperature okay, bud? Warm enough?"

Cal nodded, swinging his legs around and gripping Lorcan's arm as he stepped into the bath. While Lorcan remained leaning over the side, ready to lift Cal if he slipped or assist him when he was soaked and ready to be cleaned, Elide sat atop of the toilet, seat down as she lent back, hands on her tummy as she watched her boys. Cal splashed happily, toys in hand as he sat at the bottom of the tub, the soapy water coming up to the middle of his chest. Lorcan moved forward, taking the jug from the side of the bath and filling it with the warm water.

"Daddy's just going to pour this over your arms okay?" he explained, smiling at his son as Cal held his arms out, Lorcan using one hand to pour and the other to rub gently.

"Look, Dada!" he squealed, flapping his arms in the water as the paint slowly washed off, "A rainbow in the water!"

Where the paint had merged, there was indeed a questionable mix of colour in the bubbles. Lorcan just smiled, continuing to pour and using a cloth to rub the last of the paint that had completely dried against his arms, "I know, super cool, right? Let me just get the rest off, bubs, then you can play."

With his other hand, he was already putting his rubber duck in the paint infested waters. Kicking out his feet and splashing Lorcan in the process. When it came to bathing, it was very rare that he or Elide didn't get wet, so he just sighed, continuing until his arms were clean and allowing him a minute to play. "Don't forget his face," commented Elide from where she sat across the room, "and rinse his hair, just in case."

He nodded, already refilling the jug with fresh water, away from the mess that Cal was currently sitting in. They'd have to rinse him quickly in the shower afterwards. As he leant over, rinsing the cloth and maneuvering Cal so he was sat facing him rather than to the side, he began rubbing it gently over his cheeks, not wanting it to be rough and irritate the sensitive skin.

"Is that okay, buddy? The cloth isn't too rough is it?" asked Elide, trying to shuffle closer while still sitting and wanting to assist in any way she could. Lorcan knew if it weren't for her swollen stomach and aching back, she would be down here, kneeling and leaning and playing with their adorably messy toddler.

"It's okay, Mama," he replied, eyes shut as Lorcan went over the paint that had somehow gotten in his eyebrows. Lorcan couldn't help but chuckle, rinsing the cloth one more time and brushing it over his skin just to make sure everything was gone.

"Okay bud, you can open your eyes. I'm just gonna wash your hair quickly and then we can rinse you off and you can have your cookies and milk." Lorcan passed Cal's towel to Elide, her standing and getting ready as Lorcan switched on the shower, using the head to wash Cal's hair and then getting him to stand as the bathwater drained, washing down any remnants of the paint and bubbles from his body until he was stood all fresh and clean.

"Alrighty," Elide beamed, coming in and sweeping up Cal, wrapping the towel around him and pressing kisses to his cheek, "My handsome baby."

Cal giggled, pressing his head into Elide's neck and allowing her to rub his back and run her hands through his hair. She swayed on the spot, rubbing the towel gently over Cal's skin and drying him off as she waited for Lorcan. He hung the cloths on the side of the bath, letting them dry off, putting all of Cal's toys in their basket and rinsing the bath quickly with the showerhead, making sure all the paint had gone down the drain with the rest of the water. When he was ready, he turned back, slipping his arm around Elide's waist and pressing a kiss to Cal's temple, winking at his son as he turned with a smile to his father, reaching his arms out. Lorcan took Cal, resting him on his hip and wrapping the towel tightly around him, making sure he didn't get cold. Taking Elide's hand, the three—technically four—of them made their way back to Cal's bedroom, ready to dress him, clean up what was left of the paints, and collect his much-deserved cookies and milk.

* * *

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[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

We keep talking about John wanting one person to be everything in his life, but When do you think he got the idea that he could get one person to be eveything? Maybe it was before/early in his relationship with Cynthia, and at some point he thought she would be everything for him (which, holy shit wake up babe new boat just dropped). Or maybe he got that idea while he was on the boat named Paul, and then moved on to the boat named Yoko when the first boat didn't work out. Maybe after Julia’s death?? Maybe I'm forgetting someone??? or maybe he’s had this idea his whole life, idk, what do you think?

This is a fun one, cause we know I love a good armchair psychological analysis :) (although as always, im not a psychologist, im a dumb 17 year old girl - so take what I say with a grain o’ salt!)

EDIT: Also, sorry it took me so long to answer this, I wasn’t ignoring you anon I promise!! I was just on holiday and taking a break from the internet!

I kind of think that that longing had been there within John virtually his entire life, even from a very early age. But I think the first person to ever really tolerate it was Yoko (I don’t think it was a good thing for her to tolerate it though, but ill get on to that in a minute).

Personally, im for the belief that John most likely had Borderline Personality Disorder - and so the isolation he experienced wasn’t so much from depression itself (although, it must have worsened when he was experiencing some of his depressive episodes). I mean, depression and bpd tend to be closely intertwined, so they aren’t mutually exclusive - but what im attempting to articulate is that I think Johns loneliness was more closely related to his disordered personality, rather then just his bouts of depression. So this alienation was something he lived with chronically (im sure he had good days and bad days y’know - but overall, I think a sense of alienation was intrinsically linked to his personality). If you have some knowledge about bpd, then you'll probably know that they are ofter prone to forming very intense attachments to people (often referred to as a "favourite person"). I couldn't detail the exact psychology behind why this is so common for people with this disorder, but simply, it just is; id say its at least partially because a relationship can make you feel whole and fulfilled, at least for a time, but naturally if you don't address your underlying issues, this feeling won't be sustained.

And so I don’t think that its as if he necessarily had this idea that he just needs this one person to be his everything, and then all his problems will be fixed - I think there was always a part of his subconscious that needed someone else, and sought refuge through means of intimate relationships in an attempt to escape this sense of isolation. But ultimately, I think isolation still underpinned Johns life, regardless of how close he got with another person.

If we observe one of his earliest friendships, with Pete Shotton, we might note that John would refer to himself and Pete as: "Shennon and Lotton", interconnecting the two's names as though they were one entity. Another aspect of their friendship that is notable is the quote from Pete, and I paraphrase here because I cant be arsed with finding the quote, that "John always needed a gang". I want to clarify that John having a best friend, and making silly names for their partnership, was not a weird thing, because its common for children to grow closely attached to one of their friends. But its the fact that these types of relationships persisted for John throughout his entire life that makes me feel like his early friendship with Pete is perhaps notable and telling of his personality, and the traits the persisted within it through adolescence and into adulthood. Its certainly a weaker point, because I don't think Johns relationship with Pete was anything out of the ordinairy - but it does show I guess that John was always prone to fixating on individual people even from an early age.

This is a tiny bit of a hot take, but I don't think Julia's death was the thing that fucked him up for life - it was definitely traumatising for him, and the fact that he never truly fixed his relationship with his mother I think left a dent in his psyche that had great affects on his relationships and emotional regularity - but really, I think even if Julia hadn't died so abruptly, John was already carrying an immense amount of trauma, and so her death was more like the nail in the coffin for him. Perhaps his already-existing issues might have been resolved easier had Julia lived? We'll never know I guess.

But yeah, I think more notable aspects of John's childhood that helped in forming this 'longing' within him, might be his being taken away from Julia at age 5 and Mimi's arguably 'cold' parenting style.

Now on to Yoko: as I mentioned earlier, I think Yoko was the first person to really tolerate Johns "clinginess" (for lack of a better term). You could argue other people, such as Pete, Stuart, Paul, Cynthia etc. were the real first people to tolerate, and even harbour this trait of Johns - and to some degree, I might agree! But none of them did so to the degree in which Yoko did. If we examine this quote: “Yoko was more then willing to organise his life…He wasn’t happy cut loose and far away. John needed a mother figure running his life.” (Imagine This by Julia Baird, pg. 241) we can infer John’s vulnerability and lack of sense of self - he craved somebody who stable, and more sane then him. Arguably, a large part of the reason John was so rigorously attached to Yoko, was because Yoko was willing to embody stability; and stability was probably something John was seldom used too. Whether it was confusion caused by an external force, or just something internal within him that had to fuck things up, it appears that chaos followed him throughout his life - especially within his relationships.

But John didn’t need someone to provide a satisfaction to this want - he needed therapy (real therapy, not primal scream quack crap). Ultimately, I don’t think Yoko helped him - partially because they appear to be a pretty toxic partner, but also partly because John didn’t need a partner. As I said before, he needed…

…therapy

And Yoko was not therapy.

P.S. something about this post feels incomplete, but im just gonna post it anyway, and maybe edit it later if I figure out what that something is

[jisungsmochi]

valentine’s day with the dreamies ❤️

hella belated valentine’s day scenarios / dates with ot7 dream hehe <3 

mark lee:

took a while for him to decide on a plan for the day

didn’t want to disappoint you )):

settled with a nice trip to the beach, waiting to watch the sunset as you both had a nice dinner together

he wanted to take you away from the chaos of both your busy lives and just have time to relax with each other

he knows how tired you’ve been lately and just wants to give you some healing time

and he also wanted to profess his love for you on the beach

listening to the waves crash on the sand, the calling of seagulls, the laughter of other couples and families around you

as the sun started setting, you were leaning into mark’s side, his arm draped around your shoulders

he wrapped the both of you in a blanket as you reminisced about your relationship

“remember how you were scared shitless to ask me out? i thought you were going to faint”

“i was not scared! i just ate a bad sandwich that day” mark grumbled, hiding his face in your shoulder

you gently stroked his hair as you continued the trip down memory lane

the sky was now a mix of purple and pink hues

you immediately jumped up, pulling out your phone, to snap a picture of the gorgeous scenery

mark slowly met you, pulling your phone down, holding his hands in yours

he leant down to place a soft kiss on your lips, causing you to smile in between the pecks

“i love you” he mumbled, barely loud enough for you to hear

“i love you too”

he ended up pulling out his own fancy camera, taking quick snaps of you being silly infront of the sunset

he eventually asked a nice lady to take some photos for the both of you in which she couldn’t help but coo

“you two make a beautiful couple”

heat rose to both your cheeks, too flustered by the compliment of a stranger

you spent to the rest of night chatting, too caught up endless conversations

huang renjun:

“hey, if your cute ass isn’t here in 10 minutes i’m packing up all the paints and sulking in my room for the rest of the day”

renjun texted you the morning of valentine’s day

you were already on your way to surprise him with your own small gift, having him rush you was adding to your nerves

this would be be first official valentine’s day you’d be spending together so you wanted everything to be perfect

you enthusiastically knock on his door, in which he opened instantly

he pulled you inside, dragging you to the backyard where he set up a nice picnic blanket with paints and canvases on a small table

you couldn’t help but admire all the effort he put in

you gave him a quick hug, your hold lingering on him for longer than he thought

you handed him your gift bag, filled with snacks he loved and a panda plushie with a heart attached to it

he pouted at how adorable your gift was, pulling you down to sit with him

“thank you for the gifts, babe! i hope you also like out little painting date!”

he queued up a tutorial video as you both started recreating the beautiful landscape shown

although you weren’t the best artist he had ever met

renjun couldn’t stop giggling at how concentrated you were with every stroke

“something funny?”

“nah you’re just the cutest”

subtle compliments like that was his specialty

you continued to paint as you snacked on various fruits and biscuits as well as caught up on current events in your lives

it was now time for the big reveal of your artworks...

renjun obviously outshone you but he still insisted you hang both paintings in his room for the memories 

he’d take lots of polaroids to put into his photo album of your memories 

huang renjun didn’t see the big deal in grand gestures for valentine’s day, as he saw every day, as a day to treat you well

lee jeno:

this boy would wake you up at the crack of dawn, practically jumping on you to go biking with him

you had flashbacks to the previous night where you agreed to go with him but immediately regretted staying up to watch new episodes of your favourite drama

jeno dragged you around your shared apartment like a rag doll, helping you change and stay awake

you knew how excited he was to take you biking for the first time, you didn’t want to crush his spirit

so you started slapping your cheeks and jumping up and down to remain awake, which jeno found amusing

you followed closely behind him as he led you through the trail

his initial idea was to get to the top before sunrise so you both could watch it together

but once he reached half way, jeno had an inkling that you were way behind

he was right

he stopped completely to wait for you, more concerned about how you were holding up rather than getting to the top

you were huffing and puffing

“why’d you stop? we have to get to the top!”

“have a sip first, babe” he pats your back as he hands you his water bottle

you felt bad for holding him back, but his concerned expression eased your mind

“we don’t have to get to the top, the sun will rise either way! who says we can’t just watch it from here?” he smiles widely at you

what did you do to deserve him?

you both stood with each other, his arm draped around your waist

the sun slowly started rising, your tired eyes glimmering in admiration

jeno’s eyes were fixed on you tho,, so proud that you attempted to bike with him

he was usually the one who always wanted to do things you liked

but when you agreed to go on this date with him, it just about made him pass out

he felt on top of the world with you by his side

this was a date he will never forget

lee donghyuck:

“really? a couple’s cooking class?” your boyfriend whined (he really loved doing that)

“yes! renjun suggested it to me, it will be fun, i promise!” you plead

as much as he loved to bicker with you, he saw how excited you were to participate in this class for valentine’s day

“do you know what we’re cooking at least?”

“i think we’re baking a cake, actually”

shouldn’t be too bad...he thought to himself

but boy was he WRONG

you both came to realise that you were not the best cooking duo in your friend group

but it didn’t mean you were gonna give up, after all, having donghyuck as your boyfriend made you as competitive as him (if that’s even possible)

he read the instructions as you grabbed the ingredients and threw them in a bowl

he would hype you up from the side like

“that’s my baby, you beat those eggs!” “our cake is gonna look so freaking good”

you would get flustered, earning a smile from the chef teaching the class

once the decoration stage came along, donghyuck insisted he do it on his own

he refused to let you watch him as he did the finishing touches

the chef revealed each cake one by one, when he got to yours, he gave you both a soft smile

“you two make such a sweet couple”

you looked down at the cake, the words

“i love you always and forever” were written on the surface

you were about to burst into tears at how sweet your boyfriend was

when you got home, after taking hundreds of photos with the beautifully decorated cake

you both devoured it like animals while watching tv together 

a simple, yet memorable valentine’s day date — you couldn’t wait to tell your friends all about it

na jaemin:

as some of y’all know, jaemin used to be a short speed track racer

so naturally he was down for your idea of going ice skating for valentine’s day

you weren’t aware of how skilled he was at skating — as you yourself were merely a beginner

so when you saw how knowledgeable jaemin was when you entered the ice skating rink, you started feeling nervous 

jaemin helped strap your skates on, carefully guiding you to the rink

you were still under the impression he was just as bad as you, but once you both stepped on the ice, he was immediately stable

god, he could even skate backwards 

this must be so embarrassing for him to see 

you started pouting,

“what’s wrong, baby?”

“i didn’t know you could skate so well! i’m so embarrassed, i can barely skate two metres!”

“i can teach you, don’t worry so much” he smiled softly at you, hands gripping yourself tightly

you couldn’t stay mad at him, immediately following his instructions

thirty minutes later, one really bruised butt cheek and some elbow bruises from falling down so much, you started getting the hang of it

jaemin let go of your hands and let you skate towards him, once you reached him, he wrapped you in his arms tightly, still gliding on the ice

your faces were so close, you could feel his breath fan your cheeks

you gave him a quick peck, mumbling a quiet ‘i love you’

jaemin couldn’t contain how adorable you were, giving you another quick kiss before telling you he loved you more than life itself

you both skated for a while, listening to throwback love songs playing over the speakers

he rarely let go of your hand, even when you insisted you were getting the hang of skating alone 

he treated you to some french fries and ice cream after you finished skating 

you laughed and chatted the day away, without a care in the world 

being inlove with jaemin was something you would never trade for anything else in the world

zhong chenle:

a homemade dinner was always something you raved about to chenle

so once valentine’s day approached,, he made sure to give you the best dinner you could have ever imagined

he was on a call with his mum, following her instructions for the most perfect creamy pasta

you on the other hand, decided to make chocolate covered strawberries to have after dinner

you asked jaemin for help but then he just screamed he hates strawberries and left

you were placing the finishing touches on the desserts when your phone dings that chenle was ready for you to come over

you dropped everything, rushing to find the outfit you had picked earlier that day

you carefully wrapped the box of strawberries before making your way to his place

he practically swung the door open for you, pulling you to the dining table

he was hella dramatic and had those fancy covers for the food,, so he could surprise you

you just chuckled at his antics, placing a soft kiss to his cheek which made him heat up

he slowly revealed the meal he worked hard on the entire afternoon

your eyes glimmered at the sight, your mouth beginning to water

“how’d you know i love creamy pasta?”

“i listen to you when you talk, ya know”

you both enjoyed a pleasant dinner, chatting all about recent events in your life

the meal was delicious,, but it was now time for dessert

chenle practically ripped open the box, devouring one strawberry before you could even show off your creations

“you animal” you softly shove him, taking one for yourself

the rest of the night was filled with commentating cheesy romance movies and snacking on the desserts

once you finished eating, chenle handed you a small box

you opened it slowly, your jaw dropping at the gorgeous ring he had bought for you

he bought you both promise rings oop 

you squealed before tackling him in a warm embrace

nothing felt better than being wrapped in his arms

park jisung:

sungie: meet me on the rooftop at 8:30

you: uhhh you’re not gonna fight me, are you?

sungie: shut up and get ready

you giggled at his response, giddy about seeing your boyfriend on valentine’s day

you weren’t sure what he had planned, but you were sure he put a lot of thought into it

even tho jisung doesn’t voice his thoughts, something is always going on with that boy

you made your way to the said rooftop he referred to, cautiously walking over to him

he set up two beach chairs with a small table filled with both of your favourite snacks

you also noticed two telescopes placed in front of the chairs, smiling widely to yourself

“is this what i think it is?”

“yes! we’re stargazing tonight! i know how much you’ve been wanting to do so”

you sat down next to him, taking your own telescope in your hands

you couldn’t believe he organised this date, from the fairy lights around the railing of the rooftop to the soft r&b playlist playing in the background

it was perfect

jisung couldn’t take his eyes off you, too eager to determine if you truly liked the idea

when your eyes met, you couldn’t help but lean closer to him

jisung didn’t pull away, smirking to himself before suddenly pecking your lips

jisung also wasn’t usually the one to initiate affection, so this was just another surprise you could never get over

you both giggled, pointing out the different constellations you could make out

you chatted about random things, from video games to school, to when jaemin yelled at chenle’s s/o for making chocolate covered strawberries

everything felt at ease when you were with jisung

he knew you didn’t want such a big fuss for valentine’s day, but you could have never suspected he’d do this all for you

“thankyou for all of this”

“anything for my baby”

and in that moment, you knew, you were falling inlove with park jisung.

[benditlikepress]

day 1 of @spnprideweek: coming out

babe wake up a new episode of a destiel-paralleling teen show just dropped in the bunker❤️ loosely inspired by @dykejughead s wonderful fic about Jack and Dean watching Riverdale

happy pride to everyone especially dean, cas, and jack x

read in full on ao3 (3.6k)

"Alright, fill me in." Dean says as he sits down on the couch next to Jack.

The second time he'd been in the room when Jack's favourite teen show Raise Your Voice had been on, Jack had turned to him and excitedly asked if he wanted a recap on what he'd missed. He'd looked so innocently thrilled at the prospect that Dean had said yes before he could stop himself. It's a tradition now: whenever Dean happens to be around for an episode, Jack fills him in on all the latest goings on in his favourite fictional high school debate club (seriously). He likes talking about it. No harm in Dean indulging him.

"Ivy and Chris made up after what happened at the beach, but Ivy is still keeping the text messages a secret. Except for Juliana, she saw them on her phone and so now she knows about the money."

"And what's happening with Zach's dad?"

"He told Mrs Pine what was happening and they kissed."

"Mrs Pine and Zach's dad? Gross."

"I know." Jack smiles that pure, excited smile again and Dean sips his beer. He seems to enjoy the company, even if Dean's just reading his book or checking his phone while Jack watches.

If Dean looks up sometimes for a couple of minutes when the show gets loud, so what? His body reacts to loud noises. That's just science.

"Oh yeah, and it was prom last week. Freddy took the new girl Sophie and they kissed and Jake saw them and then he left upset."

"Huh. Well, it sucks sometimes when your best bud finds someone new."

"Sam thinks Jake's in love with him."

"Yeah, well. Sam likes drama. They're buddies, right?"

Dean would never tell him to his face, but in the last episode he'd been around for he could see where Sam was coming from. He's not intending to give him the satisfaction any time soon, though. Nor Cas, who Dean never asked for his opinion on the matter but also never spoke up to take Dean's side, rather looking at him with a judgemental flicker in his eyes.

They're doing research tonight, somewhere in the annals of the bunker. So is Dean, he reminds himself as he opens his book to the opening credits.

----------

"C'mon, Freddy, man.." Dean finds himself saying under his breath as he watches the boy stare at Jake through a windowpane, new girl hanging on his arm.

(continue reading)

[babygirlgalitzine]

Challenge for you: write the softest shit you can ever think off like every soft trope just go freaking crazy with it

you asked, i delievered. enjoy x

how wonderful life is (while you’re in the world) (ao3)

one

“I was thinking.” Callum started, sitting down on the sofa next to Ben, their thighs pressed together instinctively.

Ben leaned his head on Callum’s shoulder with a soft laugh. “Dangerous.”

Callum jerked his shoulder, causing both of them to laugh. Ben moved position, resting his chin on the edge of Callum’s shoulder, looking at him. “Sorry, go on.” He said, grin on his face, a permanent figure that now remained visible for everyone to see, showing just how happy and content he was.

“How would you feel about decorating the spare room?” Callum asked, blush spreading across his cheeks, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

In reality, Callum had been thinking about this for months now, ever since his brother moved out. Ben had practically been living with Callum since the start of their relationship, but there was always nights that they would spend apart, even as recently as last week, where Lexi would want her dad with her all night, and Callum felt as though he was invading their bond if he stayed with Ben on those nights. Callum and Lexi had bonded themselves, she loved having an extra person to play with, especially because Callum was often a big kid himself, so the two of them would get up to some mischief together. She had some of her clothes at Callum’s flat, and her books and some toys. But she didn’t have her own room, so on the late nights that she spent at the flat in the company of Ben and Callum, she would often fall asleep in their arms, and wake up the next day in her own bed on the other side of the square.

“For what?” Ben asked, confused.

Callum smiled softly, putting his hands on Ben’s cheek, cradling him. “Lex.” He admitted, as if it was obvious.

That knocked Ben for six. He knew that their relationship was here to stay, but just hearing Callum wanting to make plans for his daughter – he wasn’t expecting to hear that.

“It’s just a thought, it’s okay if you don’t want that.” Callum rambled. “It can just be left as it is, we don’t need to speak about it.”

Ben smiled, and leaned forward to catch Callum’s lips between his own, stopping him from ranting. “I love you.” He admitted, pulling back from the kiss and holding Callum’s head between his hands. “You’re amazing.”

“Is that a yes?” Callum asked, lips plump and red and dire need of another kiss.

Ben nodded. “It’s a yeah.”

So that’s why their clothes were permanently stained with various shades of pink paint. It had been a week since they started to change the spare bedroom around, making it fit for a little girl. The walls were now white and pink, with a huge bookcase nailed to the wall, copies of Lexi’s favourite books alongside new ones that they had seen on their shopping adventures. They had demolished the old bed, and bought a new one, a bigger one than she was used to, but at least it meant that she could keep it for longer. In that week, Lexi would usually come over and spend a night with Ben and Callum at the flat, watching films with some takeaway pizza, but they had to postpone it, just so she wouldn’t find out. Eventually, when the renovation was done, they had picked Lexi up from school, telling her that she was staying with them that night. As always, she assumed that this meant she would fall asleep at the flat, but would wake up in her own bed.

“What do you want for dinner, Lex?” Ben asked as they walked into the flat, propping her school bags on the coffee table.

“Pizza!” She shouted, jumping up and down on the spot. “And can we get ice cream? Please!”

Ben looked at Callum and smiled, winking in his direction. “What do you say, Cal? Reckon we could do that?”

“Whatever the princess wants, the princess gets.” Callum commented. “Why don’t you go and put your bags in your room, and then we can go and get some ice cream whilst your dad orders pizza?”

Lexi lit up at the prospect of getting some ice cream, and quickly picked up her school bags, until it dawned on her. “My room?” She asked. “Don’t be silly Cal, I don’t have a room.”

Callum smiled, and put his hands on her shoulders, directing her to her new room. “You do now.” He opened the door, and the look on Lexi’s face was worth all the blood, sweat and tears of creating the room in seven short days.

“Is this mine?” She asked, turning back to face her dad and Callum. “Really?”

Both Ben and Callum nodded, and she ran forward, charging at the pair of them with her arms wide open, hugging them both. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She shouted, jumping up and down as she tried her best to hug them both at the same time with her tiny arms.

two

Neither of them was aware when it started, or how it even came about, but for a while now, Callum would walk over to the car lot as time ticked ever closer to the end of Ben’s work day. He would peak his head around the door, just to check if there were any last customers in Ben’s vicinity, and most of the time it would just be Ben in the cabin, finishing the last bits of filing for the day. Callum would stand inside, grab a hold of Ben’s jacket, holding it out for Ben to grab, which he did, before pulling Callum into a kiss, asking how his day has been. Callum would stand outside the cabin, watching as Ben turned the key in lock, securing it. Within seconds, Callum’s hand would be outstretched once more, wiggling his fingers as he silently enticed Ben to hold his hand. Ben, without a second thought, linked their fingers together, and they walked back home peacefully. It was still warm, the world clinging on to the last bits of summer. The sky was blue, a shade between bright summer skies and the navy darkness of the evening. Trees swayed in the gentle breeze and Callum looked up to them.

“What do you fancy doing tonight?” Callum asked, lifting their joined hands up and pressing a kiss to the back of Ben’s hand.

Ben thought for a moment, rubbing his thumb over Callum’s skin as they walked each step in tandem. “A night in. Just me and you. Box set, take away, a few beers.”

Callum nodded as Ben listed things off. “Sounds perfect.” He smiled, leaning down and kissing Ben.

In the past, Callum would have been terrified of kissing Ben in public. Even the thought of it would send fear up and down his spine. But now he loved it. He loved being free, being able to kiss Ben whenever he wanted, without a care in the world.

The walk from the car lot to what was now their flat was short. Five minutes at the most, and both of them knew as they reached the front door, that Callum didn’t have an urgent need to walk Ben back home every evening, but it was part of the routine that is their life together, and neither of them would change it for the world.

Ben, almost instantly, changed out of his restrictive work clothes and put on a pair of jogging bottoms and one of Callum’s old shirts. It was comforting, and Ben loved nothing more than being able to wear his boyfriends clothes.

The night went on, the temperature dropping to single digits as the sky faded from a navy blue to a blackness. Callum stood up, shutting the window and then the curtains, before picking up the empty cans that littered the coffee table and shoving them in the bin.

“How many episodes are left babe?” He asked, watching as Ben slouched on the sofa, keeping Callum’s place warm for him. His glasses were slanted as he rested his head on his hands.

“Two, I think.” Ben said, pressing a button on the remote. “You tired?”

Callum walked back over, clambering over Ben to lay down at the back of him, back in his rightful position. “Nope.” He lied.

Ben pressed play and settled back down, his head against Callum’s chest, Callum’s arm wrapped around him, cradling him, as his other hand rested on Ben’s head, playing with his hair as they carried on watching their series late into the night.

three

Ben wasn’t a chef, it was safe to say. Callum had laughed until he cried as Ben had told him a story of how he once attempted to cook pasta, but had no idea that you were supposed to put water in the pan as well.

“I’ll teach you how to cook.” Callum had said, when his laughter subsided.

So that was exactly what happened. Callum had spent weeks in the kitchen, every night teaching Ben how to cook a new meal, before the two of them sat down together and ate. It was fun. Callum was happy enough to teach Ben new skills, and Ben definitely had a lot of fun making sexual remarks to Callum each night, grinning as he watched a blush form on Callum’s skin. Since Callum had taught Ben different meals, he felt more confident in his cooking abilities, and even though he knew he would never be as good as Callum, he gave it a bloody good go. So, when Callum had texted him, nearing the end of the work day, saying that he had a shit day and just wanted to spend the night with Ben, he knew exactly what to do. Callum’s comfort meal was a chicken curry, and he had taught Ben his own recipe weeks prior. Ben decided that to cheer Callum up, he would make this meal for him, and so that is exactly what he did.

The aroma flooded around the flat as music played from the television, loud enough for Ben to not hear Callum walking in.

“What’s all this?” Callum asked, shrugging his coat off and hanging it up on the coat rack. He walked over to Ben, pressing his body to Ben’s back, leaning his chin on Ben’s shoulder, engulfing him in a cuddle. “Curry?”

“Hmm.” Ben nodded. “Thought I’d cheer you up. Sorry it it tastes bad.”

Callum pressed his lips to Ben’s cheek, taking him in. “Thank you, baby. Smells amazing.”

Ben turned his head, taking Callum’s lips between his own, everything else suddenly drowning out. “Go have a shower, it’ll be done by the time you’re out.”

Callum sighed, closing his eyes before he trudged over to the bathroom, feeling and looking deflated.

As soon as Ben heard the bathroom door shut, he turned and laid the table, flicking an old lighter and joining the flame to the wick of a candle, Callum’s favourite scent. He placed a bottle of red wine on the table, joined with two glasses, and waited for Callum to return.

Once he did, Ben plated up the curry, alongside some naan bread and chutney, and pressed a kiss to Callum’s forehead before sitting at the other end of the table.

“You really are amazing.” Callum breathed out, genuine smile on his face as he reached out his glass, hearing a clink as it gently collided with Ben’s.

Ben shrugged. “It’s nothing.” He said nonchalantly.

Callum shook his head, wine swilling around in his mouth before he swallowed it. “It’s not nothing, Ben. I told you I was having a shit day, and you did all this just to cheer me up? You are perfect.”

four

The radio played as Ben moved around the flat, wiping down the surfaces with a damp cloth. He had been bored all day, having got the day off of work, initially with Callum, before he was called into work at six AM, causing the pair of them to wake up hours before they had planned to do so. Ben had nothing to do. Daytime television had been and gone, and none of the films on Netflix appealed to him at all. So, he decided to bake a cake. For no reason at all. The ingredients were already there, hidden away in the cupboards, and he had found the perfect chocolate cake recipe. The problem being, Ben was just a very naturally messy person. Flour had ended up all over the counter, as well as spilling over onto the floor, cascading down the cupboards and covering Ben’s slippers.

“And it’s you and me and all of the people and I don’t know why, I can’t keep my eyes off of you.” Ben sang along with the radio, his voice low as he dropped utensils into the sink, tutting to himself as the soapy bubbles landing onto his hands.

Callum smiled softly, silently shutting the door, before leaning against the frame, listening as Ben carried on singing.

“All of the things that I want to say just aren’t coming out right.” He continued, swaying along to the music as he washed a spatula.

Callum grinned, and walked forward, quickly wrapping his arms around Ben and nuzzling his nose into his neck, swaying in time to the music.

“What are you doing home?” Ben asked, laugh in his voice as he wiped his hands dry on the cloth, spinning around in Callum’s hold.

“Turns out they didn’t need me for the whole day, so I am yours for the rest of the day.” Callum commented, his hands on Ben’s waist as Ben wrapped his hands around Callum’s neck, both of them swaying together. “Fancy a dance?” he asked, pressing a kiss to Ben’s forehead.

“I don’t dance.” Ben shrugged, biting his lip in an attempt to disguise his growing smile.

“Oh.” Callum raised his eyebrows. “Must’ve been someone else I just caught singing and dancing in our kitchen then.”

Ben rolled his eyes, but rested his head on Callum’s chest, grinning as Callum pulled their bodies closer together, his arms wrapping around Ben’s body, engulfing him. The two of them swayed together to the rest of the song, wrapped up within each other, smiles on their faces, eyes closed.

And if they carried on dancing together to the next song, and the song after that, nobody needed to know.

five

The time on Callum’s phone read 03:48. He stretched and winced as his neck cricked. Ben slept to the side of him, a damp towel spread across his forehead, attempting to cool him down. He’d been poorly for days now, after picking up a bug from Lexi. For someone with a weak immune system, he really didn’t do well being ill, nearly crying every single time he leaned over the toilet throwing up.

Callum, though, was the perfect boyfriend and stayed with Ben through everything, rubbing his back comfortingly as Ben crouched on the bathroom floor, running him a bubble bath, making Ben toast with a sliver of butter, just to line his stomach. Since the first night of Ben being ill, Callum hadn’t slept properly. For the first two nights, Ben woke him up as he jumped up from their bed abruptly, running into the bathroom numerous times. Now, three nights into Ben’s illness, he decided to swap out his usual nine hours of sleep to stay awake, checking that Ben was okay. He had stopped throwing up constantly, but now he had a raging fever that showed no signs of cooling down. Callum stretched his hand out and ran his fingers through Ben’s damp hair, comforting himself as well as Ben.

Callum was that tired that he didn’t realise that Ben opened his eyes. “Go to sleep.” Ben whispered. His voice hoarse, breaking the silence of the night.

“Are you okay?” Callum asked softly, his eyelids heavy.

“Yeah.” Ben smiled. “But you won’t be if you don’t sleep.”

Callum chuckled lightly. “Can’t sleep anyway.” He lied. He was that tired that he would probably be able to fall asleep within seconds if he allowed his body to do so.  

“Why not?” Ben asked, turning his head slightly. “I’ve not got you sick, have I?”

“Nope. Just worrying about you.” Callum admitted.

Ben smiled slightly. “I’m fine, Cal. Promise. Just go to sleep, yeah? Come here.” Ben opened his arm, stretching it across the back of the bed, waiting for Callum to cuddle into him.

Within seconds of Callum resting on Ben’s shoulder, he was fast asleep, Ben following in his footsteps not long after.

six

They had been best friends for years now, and it was a rarity to see Ben without Callum, and vice versa. The pair of them had been through a lot together, from Callum being true to himself and coming out as gay, to failed ex’s and one too many runs ins with the police.

But that’s all they were. Best friends.

Until one day, Ben sat down in the Queen Vic and watched as Callum worked as a bar man. He couldn’t take his eyes off of him, and it didn’t take long for Ben to come to the realisation that he was head over heels in love with Callum.

But that terrified him, because Ben’s relationships never worked out – and the one common denominator in all those relationships, was him. He didn’t want to ruin what he and Callum had, and he didn’t want to ruin Callum. So, he kept his true feelings hidden.

That was, until Callum had announced that he was going on a date, and from what Ben heard, his date was pretty perfect. Callum deserved that. He deserved perfect. And it broke Ben.

He thought the best thing to do was to avoid Callum, because if he didn’t see him, he couldn’t fall more in love. Except, it hurt Callum. Because one day, his best friend was there, and the next, it was as if he had vanished into thin air. So he got fed up of it, and slammed his fist against Ben’s front door.

“What’s the hurry?” Ben shouted from inside, rushing to the door. “Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’.” Callum rolled his eyes. “Can I come in?”

Ben left the door open, and walked inside, knowing that Callum would follow him regardless.

“Why’ve you been avoiding me?” Callum asked, looking down at his feet.

Ben opened his mouth to speak, but Callum interrupted. “And don’t try saying you haven’t, because I know when you, and I know when you’re lying.”

“Sit down.” Ben sighed, pointing to the sofa.

Callum did as he was told, and Ben followed, sitting across from Callum, perching on the coffee table. It wasn’t exactly the sturdiest of sitting places, but he needed to be facing Callum for this.

“I realised something.” Ben started, and the anxiety that had built up inside of him was palpable. He twiddled his thumbs, and suddenly found them to be the most interesting thing in the world, unable to take his eyes off of them. “A while ago.”

“What?” Callum looked confused. “Ben, tell me. Whatever it is can’t be that bad. We can get through it together.”

If it wasn’t so unbelievable, Ben would’ve laughed aloud at Callum’s words. “I realised I like ya.” He admitted, a sudden weight dropping off his shoulders as butterflies erupted in his stomach, nerves twisting him from the inside, out.

Callum paused for a moment, thinking. “Yeah I like you too. We’re best mates, ain’t we? Least I thought we were.”

Ben chuckled. “We are!” Of course they were best friends, that wouldn’t change, not on Ben’s behalf. “Cal, I like you. I mean, I reckon I’m in love with you.”

Oh.

Oh.

Callum moved forward abruptly, now sitting on the edge of the sofa, his knees knocked with Ben’s. He reached forward, and grabbed Ben’s joined hands, dragging Ben slightly, forcing him to look up. “Say that again.” Callum commanded.

“I love you, Callum.” Ben spoke, eyes not once moving, entranced in looking at Callum for the first time in what felt like weeks.

A smile rose on Callum’s face when he realised something. Ben hadn’t twitched. “You ain’t lying, are you?”

Ben shook his head. “I wouldn’t lie about that.”

Callum chuckled softly, and pulled at Ben’s hands once again. “Come here.” He said.

“What?” Ben asked, resisting the urge to move.

“Come here.” Callum pulled again, dragging Ben to sit down on the sofa with him, Callum cuddling into Ben, the younger man half sitting on his lap. Callum released Ben’s hands, and put his own hand on Ben’s cheek, directing his face to look at Callum. “I love you too.”

seven

They both stood at the altar, hand in hand. It had been a long time coming, their wedding day, and they had planned it to perfection. It was the first day of the rest of their lives, and nothing could go wrong. From the start of their wedding planning, they had both expressed the want to write their own wedding vows, because they both thought that writing their own would signify their relationship better, making the once traditional idea of vows, more personal to them.

Ben breathed out, a smile on his face. A ring was held between his finger and thumb, and he pushed it onto Callum’s ring finger halfway. “Callum.” He started, laughing slightly as Callum painstakingly dragged his eyesight away from his new piece of jewellery to look at Ben. “You are the love of my life, and I promise that I will spend every single day letting you know that. I promise that I will honour you, and cherish you and care for you, every single second of every single day for the rest of my life. You make me laugh and smile and for a long time, I didn’t believe that anyone could make feel the way you do. But then you came into my life, and I haven’t looked back since. I know you hate me calling you it, but Callum Highway, soon to be Mitchell, you are perfect. In every sense of the word. You are beautiful, inside and out and I am so grateful that you even want to be my husband. I love you more than words can ever say.”

Ben looked down, tears already welling up in his eyes as he pushed the ring further onto Callum’s finger.

They swapped positions, Callum grabbing Ben’s ring from Lexi, sending a wink in her direction before she sat back down. He pushed the ring onto Ben’s finger, resting it at his knuckle. “Ben Mitchell. Where do I start with you? As you said, you’re the love of my life. Before I met you, I didn’t really know what a family was meant to feel like. I thought I had some idea, you know, that family was a home, somewhere safe, somewhere warm. It didn’t take me long to realise that family was you. That you, are my home. You are where are feel safe. You are the place that makes me feel warm. I said, before me and you got together, that I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere. I was wrong. Because I belong with you. Ben, I don’t think you realise just how much you saved me. You completely changed my world, and saved me from myself, and I am eternally grateful for that. I promise you, that I will thank you every day. I will never take you for granted. I promise to love you, for the rest of my life, and even longer after that. I promise that I will never deny you of a cuddle or a kiss, because I know how stroppy you get if I do. I promise to save you, like you saved me. Through anything. I love you, more than anything in the world, and I cannot wait to call you my husband, and wear that ring on my finger with pride. Thank you, for everything that you have done, and will continue to do.”

Callum took a shaky breath, trying to stop the tears that had culminated in his eyes from falling down his cheeks, as he pushed the ring onto Ben’s finger. “That’s staying there now.”

“Good.” Ben chuckled, and Callum looked at him, tears streaming down Ben’s cheeks.

Everything else faded into the background, and he barely heard the all important “You may now kiss your husband.” Ben leaned forward, and Callum joined too, their lips pressed together in their first embrace as legal husbands, tears now mixing together on conjoined skin.

“I love you.” Ben whispered, not wanting to pull back from the kiss as confetti fell down around them.

“I love you too.” Callum responded, wiping Ben’s cheeks with his thumbs. “Forever.”

[wowweeharrystyles]

mixtapes & memories

Love Is A Mixtape by Rob Sheffield definitely had its impact on me & inspired me to write this piece. This is one of my favourite playlists, so I decided to write around it. 

Harry x Y/N | 5.2K words

(Italicized bits are flashback memories)

Here’s a link to the playlist, too !!!  https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1kPsDksn0oQcF9uOLIioUH?si=nGKLi3FBREyrcR5iAc9UbQ

It’s nights like these you look back on. Nights like these that you’ll remember forever. Nights like these are the ones you hope everyone you love gets to experience with the one they love. 

Dreams - Fleetwood Mac

A giggle bubbles in your throat as Harry presses a kiss to the soft skin under your ear. Harry nonchalantly pulls away as if he wasn’t intending on making a mark on your skin when he sees his car being pulled up by the valet. His arm leaves your waist as he pulls out a few bills to hand to the valet. Verbally thanking the young man, you walk towards the car and see Harry now waiting with the passenger door open for you. Shining him a bright smile you step down into the low riding Ford Capri. Before closing your door Harry helps you move some of the fabric of your skirt into your seat with you as to not close it in the door. He shakes his head with a smile before walking round to get into the driver's side. 

“What’re you shaking your head for?” you ask through a chuckle.

“Just look beautiful tonight, sometimes can’t believe I get to spend my time with you,” he says as he shuts the door and shifts into drive. 

You groan his name in faked annoyance. You really don’t have anything coherent to respond with but he knows the feelings go both ways. 

There’s a moment of silence while the cd that is in the stereo changes to the next song. You both still quite like the idea of mix tapes and prefer the sound of the 1970 stereo, (only having updated it by adding a CD player rather than an aux cord). Your favourite mixtape being the one in the player now. There’s a wide selection on this disk and in your handwriting, the title “feels like home” is scribble in sharpie on the top of the silvery-gold CD. 

There’s a wide variety of songs on this CD, some of your favourites, some of Harry’s, songs that you grew up listening to, it’s got it all. As you 2 got to know each other in the beginning you both discovered that music played a big part in how you were raised and grew up. 

Just about every single Saturday growing up, you were woken up by your parents blasting their music collection throughout the house. Dad would play Phil Collins or Fleetwood Mac and Mom would blast Paul Simon, Michael Jackson or Donny Osmonds and once in a while Shania Twain’s Greatest Hits. On the morning of your oldest sisters wedding she played “Going To The Chapel” at full volume, on repeat, to wake everyone up. 

Every Saturday, without a doubt, she would go one by one into everyone’s room and dance around and sing to whatever was playing downstairs. It wasn’t always your favourite way to be woken up but looking back on it, you miss it from time to time. 

Sometimes Harry will try to recreate these Saturday mornings - with a fresh cup of coffee in hand - dancing around in his boxers, his latest favourite blasting through the apartment. It only makes his regal flat feel more like home and makes up for the time apart.

Harry’s mother, Anne, had raised Harry with similar music taste. The 2 of you liked to compare first experiences with Fleetwood Mac and stories passed down by both of your parents. Your dad repeatedly recalls taking his baby blue Ford van down to Florida for spring break the year Rumours was released, blasting the album on the hot, packed beaches throughout the coast of Florida. Harry recalls Anne singing along to Landslide and Dreams as they drove around Cheshire. Dreams was the first song he learned all the words to. 

The opening drums of ‘Dreams’ vibrates through the speakers of the car as Harry starts to drive away. He starts to sing along right away. You know he doesn’t realise that he always does this and it makes you smile everytime you hear his smooth voice 

I’ll Be There For You - The Rembrandts

Neither of you can bare to miss the claps at the beginning so when Harry can’t get his hands off the wheel to clap along, you restart the track. Both of you break out in a fit of laughter at the ridiculous habit and continue singing as loud as you can, dance moves included (at least what you could manage while buckled into your seats). Harry’s signature “rain starts to fall” hands always make you roll your eyes before tossing your head back and laugh even more while still trying to sing along. 

Honestly, neither of you have been able to keep track of how many times you’ve rewatched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. on your own, nonetheless together. (It’s a lot and you’ll both just leave it at that.) Harry had suggested that you 2 should start watching it from the beginning together when you two ordered takeout one night in the first month of knowing each other. That night repeated over and over again, neither of you caring to go out on fancy dates so much, only wanting to spend time together. 

You had just finished season 6 the night before Harry had to jet off to Japan or New York or Italy (honestly, you can barely keep track). While facetiming one night while he was gone you caught a glimpse of his tv screen in his hotel room. 

“Harry?” you questioned. 

“Yes, love?” 

“Are you watching FRIENDS without me?”

“Uhhh…” he stutters out, looking back at the TV that was playing without sound. “I can explain!” he rushed out. You faked an annoyed look (even though you were actually kind of annoyed by it). “Listen, babe, love, sweetheart, I was bored and missing you… I thought i’d just watch one episode…” 

“One?!?! Looks like you’ve definitely watched more than one!” 

“I’m sorry, love!”

“Fine, well that means I have to catch up, then. What episode are you on?” 

“Uhm, I think episode 4,” he whispers. 

“4?!?! Harry!!” 

“I’m so sorry!!! Like I said, I was bored and missed you. Always reminds me of you.” 

“Oh come on, be a normal boy and have a wank if you miss me.” 

He shouts your name in surprise. “Oh my god.” His cheeks start to turn a light pink shade. 

“Oh, stop blushing. You’re acting like a child. Be a man, have a wank or call me, don’t watch FRIENDS.” 

After a short moment of silence you both meet eyes and burst into a fit of laughter. 

That specific conversation gets brought up every time Harry has to leave, a little inside joke. Between “I’ll Be There For You” and the next track Harry suggests that you 2 should start rewatching FRIENDS again. 

“That’ll be like the 5th time,” you comment. “Think this time you’ll be able to make it through the entire show without watching an episode without me?” 

“I can’t make any promises,” he confirms with a giggle. 

Still Crazy After All These Years - Paul Simon

There’s a handful of Paul Simon on this mixtape. You have your mother to thank for that. After dinner each night your mom would put on a Paul Simon album while you did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen as a family. To this day you’ll opt for Paul Simon’s Greatest Hits while you clean yours and Harry’s home. He knows this music makes you feel like you’re back home with your family and can nick away at the homesick feeling you get once in a while. There’s something about the classics - “Still Crazy After All These Years”, “Diamonds on the Soles of Your Shoes” “Kodachrome” - that make your heart light and bring a smile to your face. 

During one trying week, Harry had used the Greatest Hits Album to settle you down. Work had been awful, one thing after the other, day after day, nothing went right and you were at the end of your limits. To add to the that Harry had been traveling back and forth for the better part of 3 weeks. A text from your parents asking how you were and when you would be visiting next had been the last straw. 

Harry came home mid day on a Saturday and on his way into the house he dropped his belongings in a trail from the front door to the bedroom. That morning, you had decided to try to turn your mood around, knowing Harry would be home soon, you went out to a yoga class and picked up groceries to make Harry’s favourite meal. When you got home after him, you proceeded to trip over each of his belongings on the way to the kitchen. You were cursing loud enough that it woke him up. He came downstairs in a pair of workout shorts and a messy head of hair. 

“Baby!” He exclaims when he sees you putting away the food. When he tries to give you a hug and kiss you shrug him off. 

“You left everything all over. I tripped on every single fucking bag on my way in. I get that your tired and traveling sucks but at least fucking put it all in one spot.”

“Woah, I’m sorry,” he says, taken aback. Nothing from their conversations earlier this week or even this morning had lead him onto the mood you’re in now. 

“Don’t even,” you say with a bit of a bite to it. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” He asks with equal bite. You whisper a ‘nothing’ and continue what you’re doing. “It’s not nothing if you’re this upset” 

“Just leave me alone, Harry.” 

“I haven’t seen you in days!!! I’m not just leaving you alone. I fucking missed you and I have no idea why you’re acting like this.” 

“It’s not my fault that you haven’t seen me. I’ve been here this entire time. Not all of us get to jet off to be an international rockstar and do no wrong. I got ripped apart this week at work. Everything I did was wrong, I fucked up, you don’t know what that’s like.” you take a deep breath, tears building in your eyes. “and now my parents are nagging me about coming home to visit and I can’t take any more time off work cause I’ve used it all to come see you on tour.” When you wipe the tears from your eyes you see the look on Harry’s face and your heart drops into your stomach. You’ve never spoken to him like this and you never meant for anything to come out like this. “I’m sorry,” you yell even though you don’t mean to, “I just miss home and I’ve been so lonely without you here and I don’t know, it all just came out.” He doesn’t respond and now you’re embarrassed and beyond upset about all of it. You whisper an apology as you turn and leave the kitchen.

Everything hurt as you fell to the bed. You groan a little in annoyance when you immediately smell Harry’s cologne on the bed, fresher than it’s been in weeks. Tears fell to the pillow for what felt like ages. You didn’t know what you wanted to happen next. Did you want him to come find you and try to say something to make everything better somehow? Were you hoping you would muster up the courage to put yourself back together and go downstairs begging for him to forgive you? You really had no idea. It was a while later when you could start making out sounds from the 1st floor. It wasn’t until the music got louder that you paid more attention. 

One room of speakers at a time (he can be such a cheeky fucker sometimes) the music eventually reached your bedroom where you were still laying face down on the bed. ‘Still Crazy After All These Years’ echoed through the entire house now. While wiping your face with a cool cloth as you realised what he was doing. You quietly made your way back down the stairs and peaked into the kitchen where Harry was busy cutting up some veggies on the large island. When you come into view, Harry puts down the knife and wipes his hands off on the cloth that is hanging off his shoulders. 

“I’m sorry, Harry. I really didn’t mean what I said. It all came out wrong.” 

“Shhhh,” Harry shushes you as he brings you in for a hug. “You’re right, I don’t know what it’s like at your job and I haven’t even bothered to ask.” He says after pulling back to look you in the eyes. “Being homesick doesn’t help when you’re stressed, either. And it really doesn’t help when I’m gone either.” 

“I’m still sorry. I should’ve never said any of that. I yelled at you. You just got home. I’m so sorry.” Harry kisses your forehead. “I’m so sorry. I can’t even believe what I said.”

“Its okay, baby. I accept your apology. We’re good, okay?” You nod and he kisses your forehead again. “Thought some Paul Simon might calm you down.” you nod again, a small smile playing on your lips. “And I’ve looked at the calendar, no need to take work off, we’ll go back home to visit your parents in a few weeks. Leave Friday Night come back Monday morning. I wouldn’t mind some time away from work and the city either.”

Paul Smon continues to play and you give Harry a big hug, burying your head into his chest. You really can’t believe how you got so lucky. You spend the rest of the night making dinner together, dancing around and singing to the Greatest Hits Album that’s playing through the entire house. Later that night Harry brings a bottle of wine and 2 glasses to the living room where the 2 of you sit on the ground in a pile of blankets and pillows and you share every single detail of what happened at work. 

When you’re back at your childhood home a few weeks later, you and Harry are in the kitchen with your parents, Paul Simon playing and cleaning up after dinner. 

The start of the memory may not be the best you and Harry but it ends on a good one and there are plenty more that outshine it. Paul Simon can fix a lot you figure. Makes you feel like you’re home wherever you are. 

Don’t Wait - Mapei

“Can we get fries and milkshakes?” you ask with a bright smile on your face, lashes fluttering in attempt to persuade him. You know he won’t say no, regardless. You both know that once one of you mentions fries and milkshakes that it’ll be a long night of driving around town, city lights casting the perfect backdrop. 

About 8 months into your relationship you had called Harry randomly one night. You had just seen him hours ago at lunch but he had a night full of meetings about whatever project he was working on currently and you both knew it was going to be a long night so you had retired back to your place for the night. You were surprised when he answered, the background on his end also surprisingly quiet. 

“I’m craving fries and a milkshake,” you had stated, receiving a chuckle from Harry on the other line. 

“I’ll pick you up in 15 minutes.”

“What?” you said unbelieving. 

“Just got home, getting out of this dang suit. I’ll be there in 15.” You were silent on your end. “You want fries and a milkshake, yeah?” you hum a yes. “Okay great. I’m in love with you and I want to see you. We’re getting fries and milkshakes.” You huff in disbelief. Even if you did have some sort of response you don’t know if you could get it out (still a common occurrence to this day).“Love, still there?” 

“Uh yeah,” you say through an obvious smile.

“Great. Leaving now.” 

When you get into Harry’s car he greets you with a kiss and then a toothy grin, dimples on full display. He looks cozy and relaxed in his threadbare tshirt and yellow adidas track pants, you can’t see his feet but you know, without a doubt, he’s wearing his white vans. 

Once you’ve got your fries and milkshakes, one vanilla and one chocolate so you can share, Harry picks up his phone and presses play on a new song. You hadn’t heard the song before, but as it progresses it adds to your already light, happy mood. With the cool breeze flowing through your hair with the windows down as Harry takes you both on a drive you can’t help but lean over and place a quick kiss on his cheek. His eyes wrinkle on the outside corners. 

“Fry?” he asks just like how he asks ‘kiss?’ time and time again. His voice is just loud enough to hear over the music, and you quickly oblige his request as if he were to reach for a fry himself his free hand that isn’t attached to the steering wheel would have to leave it’s warm, comforting spot on your thigh. 

As Harry pulls away from the drive-thru, a bag of fresh fries in your lap and 2 milkshakes in the cupholders, you skip through a few tracks before you find “Don’t Wait” by Mapei. The intro of the track instantly makes Harry smile and he reaches to turn up the volume. When you turn to feed him a fry you giggle at the sight of his huge smile, gums on show and eyes crinkled at the side. 

A friend indeed, come build me up

Come shed your light, it makes me shine

You get the message, don't you ever forget it

Let's laugh and cry until we die

If it wasn't for you I'd be alone

If it wasn't for you I'd be on my own

Some things never change. 

 Make You Feel My Love - Adele

You’re thankful for the frozen milkshake and you allow it to cool you down as the hot LA breeze blows through your hair. You still don’t know your way around LA very well but you recognize the direction Harry is taking. There’s a small lookout point on the hills where you know you’ll end up in the next 10 minutes. 

Taking the milkshakes and bag a fries with you, you both step out of the car after Harry has parked in the perfect spot at said lookout point. You’re the only 2 out here, it’s probably passed midnight by now. He’s left the car on enough just to keep the mixtape playing. 

“Sometimes I wish we could’ve grown up together,” you say out of the blue while flipping through your old yearbook. You’re trying to find an old group photo with your High School group of friends. With a friends wedding coming up you’re trying to find all the best photos for part of her gift. 

“What makes you say that?” Harry asks from the couch above you. “We get to grow old together instead.” 

“It’s just, looking through all these old photos, I can’t help but wonder what it would have been like to have experienced High School together. Imagine football games on Friday nights, or going to the christmas dance!” you exclaim. “Oh! I bet you would have been really creative with asking me to the Prom.” When you notice the confused look on his face you remember that 1. British schools were much different and 2. He didn’t do the whole high school experience regardless of the country. “Well I guess you don’t ever have those thoughts cause you never experienced those things in the first place.” You laugh to yourself. “I still wonder what it would have been like.” 

“I think 17 year old me would have been scared shitless to ask you to prom, nonetheless to pick you up that night and have your dad answer the door.” 

“Oh my dad loves you and you know that.” 

“Hah, he didn’t right away! Imagine if he met me when I was a teenager! I would not be sitting here right now.” 

“You’ve got a point, I guess.” You go back to flipping through the yearbook in front of you, once in a while showing Harry a photo. 

“I’m gonna go grab a glass of water, need anything?” You shake your head no and thank him before he leaves the room. 

When Harry comes back to the living room he’s without a glass of water but has gained a black suit jacket on top of his t shirt and sweatpants. You look at him, confused. 

“Harry, what are you doing?” He doesn’t respond, instead you start to hear music playing through the speakers. Pulling his hand from behind his back he presents you a flower, a rose from the vase in your bedroom. You laugh, still confused, but accept the rose anyways. 

“Would you dance with me?” He asks offering his hand to you. You take it and let him help you up off the floor. 

Harry wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him and you slide your arms around his neck letting your hands dangle at the back. 

“You’re unbelievable,” you say quietly. 

“I know this isn’t anything like your Prom, but a slow dance is a slow dance yeah?” A small smile forms on your lips before you press them to his. You let your fingers play with the curls at his neck. Resting your head on his chest you let him control the dancing, swaying around in circles. He’s humming along to the song and there’s something about Adele that is so quintessentially high school. You close your eyes and let yourself pretend that you’re back in high school. When the song ends you lift your head up and thank him with another kiss. 

Later that night you take back your earlier statement. It’s when you’re sitting at the dining table with a hot meal presented in front of you that Harry made himself that you realise that you would rather be here now how the 2 of you are instead of having grown up together. You agree that growing old together sounds like the best thing in the world.

“Doesn’t matter the time or place, I’ll love you always,” you say, “but I like this time, I like right now.” 

When “Make You Feel My Love” starts to play, Harry sets down his shake and takes yours as well to set down with his on the hood of the car. 

“Can I have this dance?” He asks. It’s almost like he planned the timing. You sway with each other for a moment before you’re both so wrapped up in each others arms and the kisses become deeper that the dancing stops and you just basque in the presence of each other and this moment. The cool wind continues to blow through your hair and it only gives the 2 of you an excuse to pull each other closer to one another. After the song ends and the mixtape continues, Harry wraps his arms around your shoulders, now having his front to your back, he pulls you back with him as he leans against the hood of the car. He rests his lips near your ear, placing kisses along your ear, jaw and neck as you both take in the view in front of you. 

“I like right now,” he whispers your words back to you from months ago. 

I Wanna Get Better - Bleachers

This song had a handful of memories linked to it. Hundreds upon hundreds are with your childhood best friend and one specific one with Harry. Right now, you’re both singing at the top of your lungs without worrying how either of you sound. You were both shivering a little after staying at the lookout for too long. Now you’re trying to warm up a bit and singing along at full volume seems to be helping. 

Harry had come home to a silent house one night, eventually finding you puffy-eyed with tear streaked cheeks curled up on the couch in the dark. Noting your phone thrown across the room, he approached you cautiously. 

“Love?” he almost whispered, not to startle you. “Love, what’s going on?” He questions when he meets your face. Sitting down on the floor in front of you he wipes your cheeks before questioning you again. “Gotta tell me what’s wrong so I can help ya.” 

“Did you see the article?” you stutter out. You know he doesn’t go lurking around the internet so you can’t be angry about him being clueless to why you’re upset. He shakes his head eventually before he slowly grabs his phone. 

The first article that comes up when he searches his name makes him curse under his breath. Someone’s hacked your private social media accounts and photos of you growing up, family information and anything and everything is all over the tabloid sites. You knew this was part of the territory, dating a musician, model, actor, all of it, but this was much worse than some papz photos with Harry out for coffee or post yoga. 

Harry does his best to calm you down, holding you against his chest, apologizing up and down for putting you in situations like these. At some point a little while later, you’ve relaxed and decide make a joke in hopes to make yourself and Harry, a little bit better. 

“It’s a good thing you’re pretty, otherwise it wouldn’t be worth it.” A look of fake offence washes over his face. “Love you,” you add before kissing him lightly. 

“Come on,” Harry says pulling you up off the couch. He turns the house speakers on and presses play on his phone. “I Wanna Get Better” starts blasting through the house and you can’t help but smile. Your best friend and you would always blast this when one of you were having a bad day. It never fails to make you smile and forget whatever was bothering you. This song automatically forces a wide smile across your face and with how swollen your eyes are from crying, you can barely make out the image of Harry dancing around in front of you. The rule is you have to play the song on repeat until you can’t remember what had hurt you in the first place. It’s takes a few rounds of the track and a handful of kisses from Harry to get you to forget why he started playing the song. 

“A little better?” he asks when the 4th play comes to an end. You nod with a smile before pulling him for a kiss. 

“Much better.” 

Though this song is always played during bad times, it’s nice to hear it during happy ones. It reminds you of times with your best friend from home and it reminds you of Harry’s kindness, how he’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, make you feel loved and be 110% sure that you’re happy. 

Fallingforyou - The 1975 and Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

You slipped ‘Fallingforyou’ by The 1975 on shuffle when the 2 of you took your first road trip together. Driving from Harry’s place in LA to a getaway in San Francisco for a few days, you had opted to drive instead of fly (more time just the 2 of you). The conversation died down for a moment, both of you engulfed by the epic scenery in front of you. You had control of the music for the most part, Harry making requests once and awhile, but it had been forgotten while the two of you had debated which was the best romcom ever made for the better part of an hour. So when you both agreed that having different favourites was okay, the silence was welcomed, small smiles on both of your faces. That’s when a feeling of absolute contentment washed over you. You knew exactly what song was needed for the moment. 

Your relationship wasn’t that new, but it wasn’t as official as it is now. You hadn’t said ‘I love you’ yet, but you both knew the thought was there (you hoped he’d say it sometime during this trip and if he didn’t you definitely would). 

You always loved this song. You remember hearing it live for the 1st time when you saw The 1975 on a whim during your first year of university. You cried. You couldn’t really help it. Though you’ve never related to the lyrics exactly in the way they’re meant to, they still hit you. Right now, this relationship isn’t one sided, you know that but, I think I’m falling, I’m falling for you, hits you harder than it did when you heard it live. 

Harry’s got his wrist resting on the top of the steering wheel, the other resting in his lap. His curls are a bit unruly from the wind that has been blowing through them, his skin has a soft tan to it.  You can’t help the smile that crosses your face. Harry must see your smile from the corner of his vision because he takes a quick glance at you and returns the grin, crinkles appearing around his eyes. The hand that was resting in his lap searches yours out and you happily accept the gesture. 

On this night, and in this light, 

I think I’m falling, I’m falling for you. 

Tangling your fingers with his, you bring them up to your mouth and press a soft kiss to the back of Harry’s hand. You hold his hand with both of yours in your lap now. The wind blows through your hair and you sing along to the words quietly and it’s not till the end of the song that you realise that Harry had been singing along as well. 

It’s when Harry’s driving you back to your hotel after dinner that night in San Francisco, ‘Chasing Cars’ by Snow Patrol playing quietly in the background, that he says “I love you.” 

‘Fallingforyou’ transitions into ‘Chasing Cars’ and Harry pats the open space between the 2 of you in the front seat. The traffic light in front of you turns red and you take the opportunity to slide from your side of the car to the side of Harry’s torso, his arm wrapping around your shoulder immediately. Rebuckling yourself into the middle seat, he presses a kiss to your hair and whispers “I love you” repeatedly until the light turns green. 

~~~

As the speakers quiet, the track list coming to an end, Harry turns to you and locks eyes before speaking. 

“Should we play it again?” He asks. Without missing a beat you press play on the stereo. Neither of you have any obligations in the morning. A late night of driving would most definitely turn into sleeping in the next morning, then spending the day reading in bed and watching silly romcoms. Driving all night sounded like the best plan in the world. 

Landslide echoes through speakers and the empty roads around you, Harry’s voice quietly singing along. You don’t think you’ll ever get tired of this mixtape.

Let me know what ya think !! feedback & comments are always welcome !  THANK YOU FOR READINGGGG <3 

[imagines-mha]

Iida, Todoroki, Midoriya, Uraraka, and Shouji watching Stranger Things with their nerdy s/o? Not necessarily the new season just then watching the show and their s/o being super excitable and coming up with theories

I loved this one omg!!! 💕💫 thank u for submitting

Iida

💙 The second the newest season leaks he’s already on the phone to you

💙 “(Y/N) do not under any circumstances let your temptations give in!!!” He would instruct.

💙 He knew how hard it was NOT to binge the show all in one night, but he also knew how much you loved it. However the tradition stood: you HAD to watch it all together

💙 He is theory man 101™️. He’s so damn observant and the moment he picks up on something small- even if it’s the colour of someone’s outfit- he’s on the case like fr hire him out for CSI investigations he doesn’t play around

💙 You two could talk for hours on end about it- it becomes his biggest wind down and special interest.

💙 It’s the rare times when you both watch it together that you see his relaxed side unfold- and it is so adorable dude no lie

Todoroki

🔥 “What are the stranger things?” He asked you, blankly gazing up at you from the sofa

“The what, shouto?”

“What are they?”

“Babe that’s just the name of the show there aren’t actually comparisons of strange things”

“...oh”

❄️ That was before he started watching. Now he was completely hooked

🔥 He’s so attentive during it, and loves to just sit and hold you while he watches your excitement blossom in front of him.

❄️ It’s his all time favourite thing, and he wishes he could watch more shows that made you so excited just to see your face light up more

🔥 He’ll be there for every episode, and every little rant you have, and everytime you want to talk about it because chances are HE wants to talk about it just as much.

❄️ It’s such a shared interest between you both and he just loves being able to bond with you over it

Uraraka

💘 Nothing more that this girl loves than a good netflix tv show to binge. Especially if its with her s/o- because what beats snuggling up on the couch, eating pizza and getting invested into an entire series for days on end? Nothing. At all.

💘 She’ll mainly watch it for the plot- but after seeing your excitement she soon has another reason to do so.

💘 She’s also insanely excitable as we all know- and would make her own series of sound effects whenever she deemed necessary which were also SO adorable

💘 She could listen to your theories for hours on end cus she just loves how excited you are about them and she loves to contribute to that, but she also gets hella into them like you’ll wake up from spam texts one night at 4am detailing a huge ass conspiracy she found on tumblr ochako pls go to bed bby u have school tm

Midoriya

💚 Oh my god. Every episode is like buzzfeed unsolved in your livingroom. I hope you like in depth analysis of all sorts of theories dude, because Midoriya will pause the show every single time he spots something and spin to you dramatically cue 15 minutes of discussion over a fuckin tablecloth or some shit

💚 He’ll get into it just as much as you: holding your hand tightly and fanboying alongside you while you both watch the show with wide eyes and a series of wild sound effects to match.

💚 To an onlooker, you guys looked crazy. To you, you guys were at home

💚 One thing: MATCHING COUPLE OUTFITS!!!!! MATCHING COUPLE EVERYTHING!!!!

💚 He’ll 1000% go out and get pyjamas, mugs, blankets- the lot. He just thinks theres nothing hetter than nice merch and he wants you both to have it ALL

shouji

🐙 Ugh. Do i even need to say it y’all. He’s the best boyfriend in the whole wide world.

🐙 He’ll sit you on his lap on a cold night, snuggle you right into all his arms while you both drink tea, put the show on and just binge it for hours with you he’s just one of a kind and it’s not cus he has multiple limbs he’s just perfect u kno this by now bro

🐙 He’ll be so attentive to the show- and wouldn’t display his excitement outright.

🐙 Instead he’d opt for just listening intently and admiring your excitement as you guys watch together- pressing little kisses on your head and temples

🐙 When you have a theory, he drops everything to listen to it. He’ll switch off his phone, pause the tv, rest his head on his palm and listen to every word with a small, lovestruck smile hidden beneath his mask.

🐙 He could just listen and add to the theories for hours bro i cant stress it enough when i say marry him. I rlly cant.

[hurricane-jenn]

My Favourite Hurricane

This fic was inspired by a song from the show Nashville. It has really helped me get through the pain of the last episode. What I love about this song is that it is a moment where they both look back on their relationship and realize where they both made it go wrong. I think that is what Omelia needs. 

I have seen a lot of hate for Owen these days, and believe me I get it. I don’t agree with what he did, but in a way I understand it. He was upset, he made a mistake. Though we hate him for it, we also have to think of what drove him to it. I think that because of this tumor people are letting Amelia off with no blame, shes the victim now. And whether or not her tumor affected how she handled her relationship doesn’t really matter here, because Owen didn’t know about it. To him her words came right from her, she doesn’t want to be married to him anymore. Though I don’t support what Owen did, I am not writing him off just yet like I have seen others do, and I am certainly not placing any blame on Teddy.

That all being said, I hope that you enjoy this fic. I hope that we can all respect each others opinions about the show and it’s characters, and I hope I don’t get a lot of hate for this.

I never questioned, not even once, all of the twists and turns and tumbles of our love. So many nights down on my knees, praying to God that you can learn to forgive me. And underneath the pain you’re my favorite hurricane.

When a hurricane is approaching people are instructed to run for cover. Avoid the eye of the storm at all costs and hold on tight until it blows over. That’s how you are supposed to react to a hurricane.

That’s what Owen remembered from when he was a kid; the things they told them to prepare for, for those hurricanes that would never hit Seattle. But one hurricane did. And it leveled Owen to the ground. Hurricane Amelia.

She had blown into Seattle and swept him off his feet, and he hadn’t looked back since. But every hurricane loses speed eventually, and so did Amelia. Owen had watched the light go out in her eyes as his hurricane blew off in another direction. It hurt him, to be dropped so quickly. Without even realizing what had been happening he had been swept up and spit out, it had happened in a blink of an eye. He had been left ragged and torn in the wake of his relationship with Amelia, but he didn’t regret a second of it. She may have been a hurricane, but she was his favorite hurricane. He was like one of the crazy storm chasers running directly into the eye. No matter how many times she spit him out, he kept chasing. So what made this time different?

This time she hadn’t just spit him out, she had thrown him in the path of another storm, right into the arms of another woman. And he had let her. Instead of turning around and chasing her again, he let himself be caught up in the other storm. His pain from Amelia’s words had pushed him to do something he would regret for the rest of his life. Not only had he let himself kiss another woman, but it had been his best friend, one of his favorite people, Teddy. Not only had Owen ruined his marriage, but he had also ruined one of the most important relationships in his life.

Teddy had left the next day, and he didn’t blame her. She didn’t deserve to be a rebound, and he knew that he was only using her as a replacement for Amelia, and he knew that she deserved so much more than that.

He hadn’t spoken to Amelia in a week. He had been avoiding her. But he had a nagging feeling she had been avoiding him as well because he didn’t even have to work that hard at not running into her; she never seemed to be around. She was still performing her rounds and her surgeries as usual, so has long as he checked the OR board and stayed away from the neuro wing he was good. But he had not seen her in any common ground. Not at the nurses station, not in the attending lounge, not with Meredith or Maggie. It was like she had gone into hiding. This had struck Owen as odd. As mad as he was at his wife for the things she had said, he was also very worried. Once he had calmed down, and after he had already made his horrible mistake, he realized that those words from her didn’t make sense.

Amelia had thrown him away before in their past, but it was almost always to protect him from the path of her storm. She had pushed him away and let him believe she didn’t care for him because she was worried she would hurt him. What if that is what she was doing now? Either way, her actions since arriving back in Seattle had not made any sense to Owen. The minute Owen had told Amelia that Megan was alive, she snapped into action, making plans and phone calls. She supported him emotionally, forcing him to eat and lie down. She had been there for him when he needed her, and then when they returned to Seattle she had practically disappeared. None of what had happened in the past week made any sense to Owen.

He was at the nurses station returning a chart when he saw Webber and DeLuca walk by. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he couldn’t help it. They seemed to be the only people who spoke to Amelia lately, and he needed news.

“I’m worried she hasn’t come to terms with it yet,” he heard DeLuca confide in Webber. “She has been holed up in that on-call room every free minute she has, like she is going to discover a miracle. She barely eats, I haven’t seen her sleep. I’m worried she isn’t fit for surgery anymore.”

Owen didn’t catch Webber’s reply as the two men walked out of earshot, but he had heard enough. Amelia was in trouble. He didn’t know how or why, but something was up. What had happened between them last week suddenly didn’t matter, he needed to get to her. He raced to the nearest on-call room flinging the door open. She wasn’t in there. He tried three more before he finally flung open the door that revealed his wife. She was sitting cross legged on the floor surrounded by what appeared to be dozens of MRIs and countless pages of research. She was so absorbed in whatever she was doing that she didn’t even notice he had entered.

“Amelia?” he breathed, unsure what to make of what was going on.

She looked up at him shocked and then clutched the scan she had been holding closer to her chest as if trying to hide it.

“What’s going on?” Owen questioned. He looked down at the scans around her, noting they all seemed to be of the same very large brain tumor. He bent down and picked one up. Amelia lunged forward trying to grab it out off his hand, but since she was still sitting he was at an advantage. “What is this?” he inquired glancing at the scan. “This thing is huge.”

Amelia, who had been silent since Owen had entered, tried to find the words to say, but came up empty. Instead she felt tears spring to her eyes.

Owen noticed her reaction and became worried. “Amelia,” he began. “Who is this patient?”

She looked at him unsure what to say. She had wanted to tell him, of course she did. She craved the feeling of Owen wrapping her up in his big strong arms and telling her it was going to be okay. But how could she ask for that after how she had reacted?

When Amelia didn’t answer Owen looked back down at the scan. There in the corner was the familiar sticker they used to identify the patient. He felt his heart stop for a second when he read the name clear as day; Shepherd, Amelia.

He looked back up to meet her eyes, concern clouding his, while tears spilled from her own. “Amelia?” he pleaded. “Please tell me this isn’t you.”

“I’m so sorry Owen,” she sobbed. “You weren’t supposed to find out this way. I was going to figure it out, figure out a way to get this out. I wanted to be better, for you. I didn’t want to put this on you.”

Owen took a step towards her reaching out for his wife. She threw herself towards him needing the security of his arms. She buried her face in his neck. “I’m so sorry Owen, I’m so so sorry. I ruined everything.”

“Shhhh,” Owen soothed her, rubbing her back. “Babe, it’s okay, I’m here. We’ll figure this out together.”

“No Owen, it’s not okay,” she sniffled. “I said horrible things to you. I don’t deserve your support.”

“Yes you do. We’ve both made mistakes, and at some point we are going to need to sit down and talk about them all, but now is not the time.”

“I don’t deserve this,” she said, pulling away and looking him in the eyes. “I am only going to hurt you again. There is a reason my family called me Hurricane Amelia. I destroy everything in my path. I didn’t want us to be one of those things. I thought if I fixed this I would be okay. I could be the wife you needed me to be.”

“Amelia,” he said wrapping his arms around her waist. “There is nothing you need to change. Yes we both need to work on our communication, and how we react in a crisis, but I fell in love with you for who you are, and I would never want you to change that. We have both been forces blowing in and messing things up, we knew from the start we would  be like this. You may be a hurricane, but so am I. We feed off of  each other, and though the destruction is greater, we are also stronger together.”

She looked up at him, a smile ghosting her lips despite the tears that still ran down her cheeks. “But what if what you love is only the tumour? What if when we get this out I am not the same person I was?”

Owen knew that this was a possibility, what if their relationship was built on feelings that she didn’t really have? But he knew what they had, and there was no way it was all nothing. “That isn’t possible. What I feel for you isn’t going to ever change, and I have faith how you feel won’t either. We will find a way to get this out of you, and then we will be strong together.”

She nuzzled herself back into his chest taking in the feeling of his strong arms around her, all she had wanted since she had found out about the tumour.

He ran his fingers through her hair and placed a kiss to the top of her head. “You may be a hurricane,” he confessed. “But you’re my favorite hurricane.”

All I ever did to you and you ever did to me was all we had to do to keep on breathing. Now I see that all along your shadow was my only way standing in the light. I fell down, broke all the pieces. Every time you saved me from coming all undone. And underneath the pain you’re my favorite hurricane.

[chunsoftie]

85 Question Game

I was tagged by: @themoonslayer. Thanks, babe.

the last

1.       drink: Strawberry iced tea.

2.       phone call: My dad.

3.       text message: (telling my dad how much tuition will be for my next semester)

4.       song you listened to: “The Brazilian” by Genesis

5.       time you cried: an hour ago when I talked to my dad on the phone – work stress.

6.       dated someone twice: Nope.

7.       kissed someone and regretted it: I never regretted kissing anyone since I’ve only kissed twice.

8.       been cheated on: If anyone had ever ‘cheated’ on me I wouldn’t know.

9.       lost someone special: My grandparents on my Dad’s side, but never knew them too well. I guess my grandma more?

10.   been depressed: In and out.

11.   gotten drunk and thrown up: Yup.

three favourite colours

1.       Yellow

2.       Black

3.       Turquoise

in the last year have you

1.       made new friends: A few, yeah.

2.       fallen out of love: I would say yes.

3.       laughed until you cried: Countless amounts of time.

4.       found out someone was talking about you: Probably not, can’t think of it.

5.       met someone who changed you: Probably my new Tumblr friends.

6.       found out who your friends are: I found out a few new friends, yeah

7.       kissed someone on your facebook list: Yes.

general

1.       how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? Probably 90%.

2.       do you have any pets? I used to have pets but currently I do not.

3.       do you want to change your name? No way.

4.       what did you do for your last birthday? I went out for my 21st and one of my friends almost got ran over ‘cause she ran out in the middle of the street. That was fun.

5.       what time did you wake up? 9:20 A.M. (ish, I snoozed).

6.       what were you doing at midnight last night? Eating Applebee’s and watching analysis videos on YouTube.

7.       name something you can’t wait for: The Fractured but Whole to come out.

8.       when was the last time you saw your mum: Last Christmas/New Year’s.

9.       what are you listening to right now? Diablo by Simon Curtis. (my jalph playlist haha)

10.   have you ever talked to a person named tom? Probably, but I don’t remember.

11.   something that is getting on your nerves: My period

12.   most visited website: YouTube.

13.   hair colour: Naturally, I’m brunette, but I have blonde highlights right now.

14.   long or short hair: Long, for now.

15.   do you have a crush on someone? Nope.

16.   what do you like about yourself? I’m pretty “go-with-the-flow” and I have a great memory.

17.   piercings: Two, with my lobes only – for now.

18.   blood type: B (I forgot if it’s positive or negative…)

19.   nickname: Bri, B. Wookie.

20.   relationship status: Single.

21.   zodiac: Cancer.

22.   pronouns: She/her

23.   favourite tv show(s): South Park, Steven Universe, BoJack Horseman, Avatar: The Last Airbender,

24.   tattoos: Not yet, but I am planning on getting on with Piggy’s specs relatively soon.

25.   right or left handed: Right

26.   surgery: Wisdom teeth.

27.   sport: When I was little, I played soccer, basketball, and going into middle/high school, I played softball, volleyball, tennis, and golf. The only sports I had a blast playing were softball, tennis, and golf though.

28.   vacation: I’ve been on a lot of trips, honestly. My last trip was a cruise to Bermuda for like, five days. It was pretty chill, got to see a pink-sand beach.

29.   pair of trainers: My black close-toed sneakers, when I work, and otherwise, my Nike sneakers or sandals.

more general

1.       eating: Lean Cuisine, some pasta thing I don’t remember the name of.

2.       drinking: Strawberry iced tea from Publix.

3.       i’m about to: Honestly? Take a nap. I’m worn out, and then probably study and write Broken Road.

4.       waiting for: Tomorrow – it’s my day off.

5.       want: I would like to have more money…

6.       get married: I can’t really see myself ever being married, but it’d be nice.

7.       career: English Professor, or technical writer…something with writing or editing.

which is better?

1.       hugs or kisses: Depends on the circumstance, but there’s nothing wrong with hugs.

2.       lips or eyes: Eyes.

3.       shorter or taller: Taller.

4.       older or younger: Older, older, older. I shrink thinking of dating someone younger.

5.       nice arms or nice stomach: Arms, baby – but let’s talk about shoulders, too.

6.       hookup or relationship: Probably hookup because the idea of me sticking around a committed relationship sounds weird.

7.    troublemaker or hesitant:  I was a troublemaker when I was little, but definitely hesitant as I grew older.

have you ever

1.       kissed a stranger: No, but doesn’t mean I haven’t been tempted to.

2.       drank hard liquor: Probably too much lately.

3.       lose glasses/contact lenses: Yes to both – I would lose contacts constantly or drop them and can’t find them. I’ve lost probably two pairs of glasses in my life.

4.       turned someone down: Kind of. Most of the time it’s the other way around.

5.       sex on the first date:  Nah, doesn’t mean I’m against the idea, just haven’t had the circumstance.

1.       had your heart broken: A few times.

2.       been arrested: No way, I did get a ticket, though.

3.       cried when someone died: Nope.

4.    fallen for a friend: All I do is fall for my friends.

do you believe in

1.       yourself: Hell yeah. I’m fucking awesome.

2.       miracles: …Not sure?

3.       love at first sight: Definitely not.

4.       santa claus: I did, up unil I got into fourth grade?

5.       kiss on the first date: I’ve never kissed on the FIRST date. I’ve kissed on the second, third…

6.       angels: I would say, yes?

other

1.       eye colour: Hazel.

2.       favourite movie: Lord of the Flies (1963), Atlantis: The Lost Empire, When Harry Met Sally, Across the Universe, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Star Wars (Favorite is probably Episode V), The Fox and the Hound, The Princess and the Frog.

I will tag:

@savajack, @insanelycoolzoemurphy, @amsayy, @polarspicecaps-blog, @nicholeloveskyman, @meme-rice, @shortstackedkyman, @rohamburger, @candy-cavities, @theboringprincess.

[princesofchina]

Seventeen: Reaction to You Having Depression (Woozi, Dino, Hoshi, Wonwoo)

WARNINGS: Depression, Self-Harm, Swearing

Just a reminder that mental disorders are extremely serious and concerning and not romantic by any means. I will be fulfilling this request because victims may feel placated by the thought of having someone by their side, and also because I’m sure that all the SVT boys would love and support you no matter what. Whatever you’re going through is valid, and it’s alright to feel sad and want support! If things are getting really bad, here’s a list of hotlines, as well as 100 reasons not to kill yourself.

And as a side note: hello, I’m the new regular member/editor B! I’ll be doing a lot of the editing for the blog, and will also be taking requests whenever they’re open! This is my first reaction, so I hope I was able to convey it all properly ^^  – Member B

Hoshi: Keeps you moving. Whenever you have an episode or get into one of your moods, he helps you through music and dance and whatever he can think of getting his hands on quickly enough. He’s so spontaneous you might just combust, but at the same time he makes it so utterly clear that he loves you with all of his heart, that you’ll still combust, but you’ll combust happily.

“Fuck,” your hands tremble as you knock your head back against the headstand of your bed hard, the loud noise resonating throughout the empty bedroom. Your shoulders shake as you hug your knees to your chest, burying your face into them. “fuck, Fuck, FUCK.” Your voice gets louder with each swear, and you knock your head back against the headboard each time. At one point you might’ve drawn blood, but you don’t slow yourself down to check.

It’s a coping mechanism. The hard thing about your depression is that it comes in waves, dropping on you suddenly and with the impact of a meteor. After your last episode, coming home from a particularly loaded afternoon lecture, you had to find some way to calm yourself down. Soonyoung wasn’t around, having notified you earlier that it would be a long day at the studio. You contemplate calling him but you don’t want him to see you like this, all torn down and vulnerable.

So of course, just because life likes to play against you, he ends up seeing you all torn down and vulnerable. 

“Y/N, I’m home early~ I see your shoes at the doorway~” Soonyoung’s in a cheery mood, entering the bedroom with a bounce in his step. The bounce immediately disappears and his expression hardens as he takes in your closed and crumpled form, utterly defeated. Though you can’t see his expression with your head buried into your knees, you can hear his sharp intake of breath. He says nothing else and you wonder if he’s left, lifting your head slightly only to find Soonyoung startlingly close, focus directed towards scrolling through his phone’s music library. When he plays the song, you recognize it as a calming favourite of yours. Soonyoung places his phone aside and reaches for your hand. He tugs it gently and you follow easily, melting into his arms. 

There you sway together to the gentle sound of the music, an awkward position by any means. However, you feel perfectly in place, calming down to the point of realizing your own exhaustion. He rocks you until he knows you’ve fallen asleep, and tucks you tightly in to bed. 

Wonwoo: A calming presence. Whenever things in your life starts to go wayward, Wonwoo is always there to whisper reassuring compliments into your ear, or provide you with closeness and intimacy if you so desire. He’s your rock, your complete stability. 

“I’m really sorry about this sir, I just can’t come in to work today. . . Family emergency,” your voice is clipped as you speak through the phone, moments away from breaking down. Your hand clutches the back of your kitchen chair in an attempt to hold yourself up. You just know that you would collapse otherwise. As your boss bids you well, you’re quick to hang up your phone and place it down on the kitchen table, trying to take deep breaths to calm yourself down. And you had tried so freaking hard.

You had so far managed to get up, get yourself dressed, and even have your teeth brushed, although the uncooperative toothpaste tube had caused some frustration. You even had gotten so far as to pour yourself a bowl of cereal, but then you spilt the milk and it had gotten just absolutely fucking everywhere, and your clumsy actions weren’t enough to clean up the mess fast enough. You had thrown the bowl in frustration only for it to shatter, a particularly sharp piece cutting your hand. And now you were standing there, too scared to move, too strung up to function, and you weren’t coming in for work again. The whole time a thought pounded at the back of your head. Wonwoo, where is Wonwoo?

With shaky hands and an even shakier predisposition, your hands pick up your phone to shakily enter the memorized digits, a number you’ve called too many times before in similar situations.

He answers on the second ring.

“Y/N? What’s wrong, babe?” His voice is calm, even with the underlying urgency, and it soothes you. He’s always had that soothing effect, and it’s one of the things that’s kept you drawn to him. It’s more addicting than alcohol, yet he kept you healthy. “Are you having another attack?” Your sniffles seem to be more than enough of an answer. “I’m coming over, hold still. You’re at your apartment, right? Stay on the line with me, babe.” It’s not as if you’re up to moving, other hand still clutched tightly on the back of that chair. You breathe out your agreement and he murmurs pacifying words all the way to your apartment, right until you feel lanky arms embrace you, and the phone is replaced with his rhythmic breath and live whispers. “I’m here now, it’s all alright. It’ll be alright.” He holds you until your breathing matches his, until your hands unclench themselves and you allow your body to relax. 

“Now let’s get you cleaned up.”

Woozi: You don’t tell him, he figures it out. Jihoon’s observational skills detect your hidden signs of depression almost immediately after the two of you start dating. He immediately tries to convince you to seek professional help, unconfident that he’ll be able to help you on his own. 

“Your leg’s jiggling again.”

Jihoon’s working diligently on his laptop, eyes trained on the composition program at hand. You wonder how he continues to notice your every move, but without fail he’ll point out your fidgeting before squeezing your leg lightly with his hand, effectively bringing it to a halt. He usually pulls back but this time his hand lingers, and he surprises you by looking up from his work to give you a concerned glance. “Are you that nervous?”

You try to look away but his eyes are piercing, and looking around at the rest of the waiting room only places you at a greater discomfort. You instead find yourself nodding evenly at him, trying to focus your eyes on a spot right above his eyes. “I’ve never been to a therapist before,” your voice comes out smaller and weaker than you intended, somewhat ashamed of your confession. Ashamed that it had taken you so long to take responsibility for your own health, and ashamed that you were in this situation in the first place. You know it’s not your fault... Really.... You hope it’s not your fault... yes, you’re.... Confident....

Jihoon picks up on your inner struggles as easily as he picks up on your jiggling leg. He closes his laptop, placing it aside and then shuffling closer to you. Before you know it he’s humming a song quietly in your ear, a volume low enough that you can no longer quite place the tune but you’re settled by the fact that it’s solely intended for you. “For your ears only,” he whispers, hand squeezing your leg once again. 

When the time of your appointment finally arrives, you’re sent off by your boyfriend with a tight smile and a kiss on the cheek. It’s at that moment you realize that he’s nervous too, and you walk into your appointment knowing that at the very least you’ll always have someone by your side. 

Dino: Master of distraction and misdirection. When Chan finds out about your depression, he very easily learns to utilize his innocent charms to subtly distract you from your problems. 

“Up again?” Chan’s voice is tired on the other end of the line, and you immediately regret calling him so late in the night once again. You had done the same thing just two nights previously, and only now do you think of how insensitive it might be. Your depression has been getting the better of you lately though, and you needed some way to ground yourself. 

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up, you sound so tired. I just wanted someone to talk... Never mind, never mind,” you immediately go to hang up but Chan is quicker than you, brushing it aside easily.

“Hey, it’s alright. I’m still at practice actually, it’s been a long night, preparing for our comeback.” And now that he’s started, you know he won’t stop, recounting tales of an overzealous BooSeokSoon and the excitement they brought to the practice room for that day. You contentedly listen, happy just to hear his voice. His youth and excitement keeps your mind focused with purpose, and you start to forget the drowning feelings that had caused you to call in the first place. 

You fall asleep and Chan smiles into his phone. “Good night,” he whispers to the silent line, hanging up his phone and settling back into bed to return to sleep (hey, what’s a small white lie if it’s for your wellbeing? Anything for you.).