#bUT anyway. i hope yall had fun reading this and i hope that if it helps??? all the overseas fans who can't buy the scently perfumes!!!
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loudclan-clangen · 2 days ago
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Loudclan - Moon 31:
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As summer fades to a close and the weather shifts colder by the day, Juneaucliff finds himself wishing that his nest wasn't so empty, and seeks advice from his friends on ways to woo a certain red-furred she-cat.
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While the older toms aren't very helpful, Kingfur and Cavedew are more than willing to provide their assistance! (red substance is berry juice, not blood)
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With a brief thanks for their assistance, Juneaucliff hurries back to camp, now overflowing with confidence and ready to make his move.
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Rosehiptree is still just as uninterested as ever... At least when it comes to Juneaucliff.
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Songpaw always seems to have herbs stuck in his fur. Juneaucliff watches jealously from across the camp.
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Axeldawn takes pity on the poor, embarrassed Juneaucliff, and decides to lend him a paw. Juneaucliff decides to wear the forget-me-nots permanently, so that Kingfur and Peakpatch won't get the satisfaction of seeing him admit to being fooled.
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Their bonding is interrupted by Fairbanks, a fierce young tom who wishes to join the clan, but only after he's assured that the fur-braiding and berry blush isn't mandatory.
Back in camp, Weed and Cavedew have some bonding time.
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Cavedew, Weed, Juneaucliff, and Axeldawn are all poisoned after ingesting baneberries. Weed catches the symptoms early enough to prevent any immediate deaths, but the affected cats are still at risk.
[I had FAR too much fun doing the lighting and backgrounds for these! Rosehip cleaning Song might also be my new favorite panel I've drawn, they're so cute! If you are a Peakpatch or Jaggedtail fan please say thank you to the discord for bullying me into including them. This moon was not supposed to be as big as it is since the poisoning event truly happened next moon in-game, but it was just too perfect with the herbs getting messed up to not move it to this moon. Baneberries are real and they look very much like wild cranberries at a quick glance. (they also, fun fact, grow in my back yard). Also how are we feeling about the text size? I noticed it was a bit hard to read without clicking so I made it a couple sizes bigger, does it make a difference for yall? Anyway, it's 4am and I'm so tired, so I'm gonna drop this and head for bed. Hope yall enjoy!]
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luck-of-the-drawings · 8 months ago
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"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#cw blood#something something cracking open a boy w the cold ones#IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES I MISSED I SWWWEAR TO JEBEDIAH. IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA DIE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE#ALSO RRRAAAHAHHHGHGH CAN I JUST TAKEA SECOND TO SCREEAAMM ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE SODA AND EMIZEL.. LIKE THERYE SO CUTE....#THEY ARE HOMIES THAT KISS EACHOTHR GOODNIGHT. THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR EACHOTHER. SODA LOVES SODA AND SODA LOVES YOU#do u guys remember how willing he was to share blood w his vampire bestie. like cmon. remember when emizel memorized sodas Soda Schedule.#LIKE CMON.... they just have eachothers backs so much. ouhhh my god... ANYWAY SO THE ART HUH. I FEEL LIKE I SCRAMBLED W IT FOR A WHILE#DRAWIN IS HARD..... i think i did well in the end tho.. i like the lil heart beat effects. and i hope i made soda look Suffieciently Scared#i ALSO had fun w the teeth. i however did not have fun w the walls. if i had more drugs i mightve done every brick in more detail#but i didnt WANNA!!!! this will suffice.I HOPE IT FLOWS WELL&THAT ITS CLEAR... IVE STARED AT IT SO LONG IT IS NOW VISUAL SOUP. HELP!!!#i want my comics to have more Pauses and Space and Thought and Momence. i feel like normally they go so fast. but THIS time#i think i did good.... huuoouhhhh.... comics are HARD art is HARD but i am HARDER. or something. OH YEAH I HAVE MORE ART THINGS#soda was RLY HARD FOR ME TO DRAW FOR A MINUTE..but i like where his design is now. i wanted his hair to be curly swirly.like soda fizz#i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss#have a goodnight i gotta go to work soon. maybe. unless the casinos power goes out AGAIN. OR SEOMTHING... UUGHHH MY SCHEDULE IS IN SHAMBLES#I THOUGHT I WAS WORKIN 3 DAYS INA ROW SO I RENTED A WHOLE DAMN HOTEL BC THE JOB PLACE IS FAR AWAY.. I HAD TO CANCEL THE WHOLE RESERVATOn#annd im MMMMAD ABOUT IT!!! like ill get over it ofc BUT IM PEEVED!!!! IM INCONVIENIENCED AND GENTLY AGGRIVATED. BUT OVERALL FINE.#hope yalls weekend goes well. sleep well. if u get the chance to.
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arom-antix · 3 months ago
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Stars, I have seen them fall
Huge credit to @my-private-tsukuyomi and their Stardust AU for the inspiration for this! Open for better resolution
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marcmorrigan · 8 months ago
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finally delivering on the princess tutu headshots i promised... love these dysfunctional teens 🩰💖💕
LOTS of notes about headcanons/design choices under the cut! like. a lot. dont say i didnt warn you
starting with my specialest guy fakir:
i had a suuuper clear vision for fakir, and i couldnt be happier with how he turned out, he looks exactly how i imagine him! trying to translate his Bird-Shaped Hair into my style gave me SERIOUS homestuck flashbacks. my affinity for knights with Problems knows no bounds...
adding the hyperpigmentation around his eyes and his acne scars is what really solidified this for me-- i put those in and was like oh!!! there you are!!! my boy!!! and you can tell because i gave him acne scars + thick eyebrows that he IS my boy... there are very clear trends among my headcanons for my faves lol. big noses, thick eyebrows, skin imperfections, heavy eyebags, long dark hair... and fakir truly has it all 😤 he is so Ideal Character Design to me
i think fakir is actually pretty self-conscious about his appearance tho! we see characters like pike and lilie say hes handsome to ahiru, but i dont know how often he actually hears that? and im sure its hard not to compare himself to mytho, who is straight out of a fairy tale; being a regular teenager dealing with regular teen body stuff is hard enough without your roommate being a magically beautiful eternally youthful storybook hero. i think he probably internalises more that people see him as scary and angry, and that the girls who do have crushes on him always frame it in contrast to mytho, who is Good and Kind and Handsome, implying (or sometimes outright stating!) that fakir is Bad and Mean and... Well...
fakir is very sensitive but quiet about it, so i think its a very private point of self-consciousness. i think he puts a lot of semi-secret effort into his appearance; canonically he has a lot of very funny and clearly customised clothing, and he chooses to keep his hair long and in a very particular style (i have a whole breakdown in my mind of how he achieves that style and it involves a surprising amount of pins and an unsurprising fuckton of teasing. i think his hair is a little fried from heat damage!), and i think that probably extends to other things, too, like manicuring his eyebrows and doing a lot of very Teenage Skincare that doesnt actually help his acne much lol. i think he probably has a lot of self-injurious habits and BFRBs like skin picking and chewing, mostly at his acne and around his nails (both of which he hates, because he knows he shouldnt but does it anyway). i think if he does it enough that theres noticeable evidence it feels, like, world-ending for him, ESPECIALLY if anyone asks what happened lol. do not perceive him except in the very specific ways and contexts he approves of THANKS
on to the narratives favorite princess, mytho:
again, i had a pretty clear idea of the vibe i wanted mytho to have going into this-- i want him to have, like, extreme prince charming vibes, very Classically Handsome without necessarily being 'conventional.' i thought a lot about 'the happy prince' story while i was working on this, and really wanted him to look like a cross between how the prince statue looks in my head and a porcelain doll. and also a cross between jonny brown and brigitte bardot? lots of very direct influences for him lol. so! lots of gold tones, gemmy eye color, cute little tooth gap, quivering wide-eyed thousand-yard-stare doe eyes and big ol dolly anime lashes, which were the very last thing i added because i was NERVOUS about pulling those off lol. they turned out cute tho! ive only done a handful of pieces for this series and i can already tell princess tutu is gonna make me up my lash drawing game considerably, these kids all look like they blink and cause a hurricane from the gale force wind of their falsies
also wait i lied the very last thing i did was add his freckles/beauty marks because he needed that little extra oomph and those were It. i think he probably has some on his hands/wrists too 💕
i was a little unsure if my idea for his hair would translate with this flat-color approach but im pretty happy with it! its supposed to be afrotextured hair (somewhere between 3b and 4c i think? wide range of potential i knowww but im still kind of hammering out my headcanons okay, this is exploratory lol) thats been rolled and finger-styled into his little feather shapes. i think loose, chunky twists would be another fun way to interpret his hair and twists are one of my fave styles to draw do i might draw him like that at some point too...
i guess fakir is the one who styles his hair for him before mytho gets his heart back? i imagine fakir is pretty meticulous about maintaining mythos health and appearance, even at the worst stages of their relationship. i think itd be hard for fakir to frame the way he treats mytho as For Mythos Sake if he wasnt doing some level of actually beneficial care for him, so being really fastidious about things like mythos diet and sleep hygiene and hair care and such gives fakir an outlet for his 'you just have to do what i tell you' thing that helps him convince himself it really is helping, no really, hes doing this for mythos benefit and he just has to be strict with him because mytho doesnt UNDERSTAND he needs PROTECTING and fakir is the ONLY ONE who can do it so mytho HAS to let him because if he doesnt then why does fakir even EXIST, if he cant manage this then what is he good for, and--
yknow. the usual complexes. and their relationship is so complex!!! but also so simple, but like. in a good way. fakirs behavior is complicated but his motivation regarding mytho is SO straightforward which makes that downward spiral into harm really easy to map out... i wont go much into that in this post since this is about visual/appearance-related headcanons but just. augh. i love this show and i love these characters!!! and i hope its apparent in my work that i do love them so <3
im hoping to do a set of these for the girls next!!! i have some other stuff to finish first but hopefully... Soon... Some Birds...
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luca---paguro · 1 year ago
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hehe doodle of the fish,,,
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clowningaroundmars · 8 months ago
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morales twins vigilantes: getting found out pt 2
okayyyy this part's a slight bit longer but hopefully, uh, worth it lol
kinda made myself tear up a lil at the end ahahaha
also pls don't ask when this takes place, like either in between istv and atsv or atsv and btsv.... idk bro LMFAO this is technically a whole other au in and of itself soooo yuh
disclaimer: i'm a whole ass anarchist, however miles and milo are two teenage boys who've grown up with a cop dad and they play a lil lip service to the police force during their big speech so... yeah i don't support the existence of the police force, but it is what it is. characters don't reflect author's beliefs and all that
>1st part here<
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Jeff happened to be lucky enough to be pardoned for the rest of the night, and he also opted to use some PTO on this very very important occasion, so he sped off in the squad car with his sons in the back immediately after visiting the police department and signing off on some papers. He did not utter a word until they all got back home safely.
In the car, it was eerily silent as Jeff fumed in the front. Miles practiced what he was going to say over and over in his head, picking at his suit and avoiding his twin brother’s eyes. Milo held what remained of his mask in his hands, gauntlets off and tucked between his feet on the floor of the car. They both hung their heads low, counting down the minutes until they got back home and had to face their inevitable death sentence.
They were in so much trouble. Yikes. This was exactly what Miles dreaded for so damn long now, and it almost felt like a dream the way it happened so quickly.
Back home, both boys were sat down in the dining room area behind the couch, waiting for their mother to come back from her night shift. Milo was given an ice pack for his head and some painkillers, and then they were both sternly ordered to take off their respective suits.
Miles turned inquisitive eyes towards his dad.
“If your mom comes in and sees you two wearing those outfits right after work, that woman will have a heart attack and faint. Take ‘em off,” was Jeff’s sharp explanation.
They were not gonna argue with that. To the bedroom they both went.
“And then you both come right back out the second you change, got it?”
“Yeah dad, got it,” was Miles’ unenthused mumble before closing the door.
Miles turned back around with his mask in his hands, and immediately threw it at Milo.
“What were you thinking?!?!” he hissed, arms flying up into the air, making grabbing motions at his twin brother’s neck. “You absolute idiot, my god, we are so. Freaking. Dead!!”
Milo ducked back, scowling. “Me?!” he hissed back, keeping his voice at a harsh whisper as well. “What did you want me to do, pendejo, just let our dad fry, just like that? I didn’t see you moving to stop the guy!”
They were both snapping at each other, hands flying everywhere as they argued in harsh tones and whispers. They only stopped when they heard a loud knock on the door.
“Don’t take all night, either,” came their father’s booming voice from behind the wood.
Miles hung his head. Milo rolled his eyes and moved towards the closet, ripping his jacket off and kicking off his shoes. “Yes dad,” they both intoned at the same time.
A few glares were exchanged as clothes were tossed onto the floor, and Miles sighed loudly as he pulled on a pair of pajama pants, throwing himself onto his bed to get them up his legs all at once. He glanced at his bedside alarm clock, knowing his mom would be home any minute now. He felt his heart beat in his chest much louder and faster than usual.
Milo pulled on a hoodie over his head, gingerly easing the fabric over his bruised chest.
“Did the blast hit your chest too, man?” Miles asked quietly, eyes playing over the mess of a bruise over slightly-scarred skin, wincing a bit.
Milo exhaled sharply. “Shuddup.”
Miles frowned. “You have to let mom know about that soon. Don’t ‘shuddup’ me.”
“Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”
Miles knew his brother was sulking, but that really looked… bad. If he was responsible for not only dragging his brother into vigilantism, but also putting him in the hospital as well, he had no idea how he was getting out of this one alive. He was probably never going to see the light of day until college. Maybe not even then.
Once ready, both boys stood side-by-side in front of the door, hesitating. They both glanced at each other, then back at the door.
This was it, they both thought. The moment of truth. This was the night where it was all gonna go down, and their painstakingly-kept secret would finally be revealed to their parents. D-day. My god. He didn’t even know if the speech he prepared in the car on the way home was even gonna suffice against their mother’s explosive anger. She was gonna have a cow the second Jeff told her. Damnit.
Guess I can kiss the whole Spider-man thing goodbye, Miles thought, the very idea leaving a very heavy weight in his chest that he just couldn’t ignore. He leaned forward to turn the knob and swing open the door. With one last glance back at his brother, he stepped out. Then his brother followed him slowly, ice pack pressed to the side of his head again.
It was like a funeral procession the way they marched solemnly back to their chairs placed side-by-side by the table. Jeff leaned on the doorway to the hallway with his arms crossed sternly over his chest, still in his police uniform, hat already hung up.
As if on cue, Rio’s keys jangled against the door, and she stepped inside once the lock clicked open. Her slightly tired expression changed in an instant once she hung up her bag and walked into the apartment.
“Hello boys, I’m home!” She announced, a bit surprised. Not only were her husband and two sons all home at the same time, but they were all hanging around to watch her come home after work at such a late hour. Granted, it was summertime and the weekend, but still. Weird.
Jeff had texted her that something important came up and that she needed to be home ASAP, but didn’t elaborate further. She didn’t know what to expect when she got back. She crossed her fingers and hoped that it wasn’t that bad, if her husband texted her instead of calling. If it was an emergency, surely he would’ve called.
Right?
Her eyes widened once she saw the ice pack Milo held against his head, and quickly made her way over to him.
“Qué pasó?” She kneeled next to her boy, checking him over quickly.
Milo winced and tried to dodge his mother’s hands, holding a protective arm over his chest that no one missed. “Ma, stop. I’m fine, seriously. It’s… it’s fine.”
“Is it? What is going on, why is everyone so… so sad right now, and what are you two doing sitting here like this? Jeff…?” She turned to face her husband but he was already making his way back to the boys’ bedroom, scooping up their respective vigilante costumes and heading back out with the incriminating evidence in both hands.
Once he got back to the table, he tossed them onto the surface and crossed his arms again.
For a second, no one moved. The whole world held its breath for one precious moment.
Then, with deadly calm in her tone, Rio slowly stood up and placed her hands on her hips. “...What are those things?”
Both boys braced for impact.
“Well?”
Miles swallowed hard, hands gripped together tightly. “Uhm. They’re. They’re… our outfits. Y’know… for fighting crime.”
Rio gaped at her sons.
“He’s Spider-man, mom. Miles is Spider-man,” Milo clarified solemnly. His chin was at his chest now, avoiding eye contact with his mother.
“...And you’re the Prowler.” Rio finished.
She took a step back and exhaled, running her hands through her hair and rubbing her face. “Oh… oh my god. Dios mió, me voy a morir. I knew it, but still... me voy a morir!” ¹
Finally, Jeff spoke up behind her. “They’re not Halloween costumes, either. Guess where I found ‘em tonight?”
With tears in her eyes, Rio looked back at her husband, a pleading look on her face. “Don’t tell me,” she begged. But Jeff continued anyways.
“I took tonight’s shift on as a bit of extra, and when I was called to take care of an electric freak close to downtown, I found these two at the scene already.”
Finally, Rio exploded. “What?!?”
The twins flinched.
Jeff exhaled and pressed on, licking his lips. “Yeah, and not only that, but Milo here took on a direct blast of electricity to the face. He jumped in front of me and put himself in harm’s way!”
Scandalized, Milo leaped up from his seat, wincing only a little bit. “Wait a minute, I did it to protect you! That’s my job!”
The anger fizzled out immediately once both parents swung their withering glares around back to him, rage hot enough to almost burn two holes into his skull. Miles pulled Milo’s hoodie sleeve and quietly hissed, “stop making it worse!”
Milo clammed up and quickly sat back down, pouting.
“Your job?” Rio shot back incredulously, laughing angrily.
“That is not your job, Milo! That is mine! My job! I wear this badge every single day so that I can protect the people of Brooklyn. You are a kid with homework and chores to do, not fighting dangerous bad guys on the streets like some kinda—” Jeff worked himself up but then stopped, as if he suddenly ran out of steam. He placed his hands over his head, clearly stressed, and exhaled loudly.
“How long?” Rio’s tone was sharp.
They were definitely not getting out of this alive. Damn. Rest in power, Morales twins.
Miles shuffled his feet, hesitating. “Uhm—”
“Speak up, Miles. How long have you two been running around behind our backs and lying to us like this? Huh?”
Miles sighed. “I, uhm. We’ve been doing this… for a while now.”
“A while?”
“…A -a year.”
“A YEAR?!”
“I mean I’unno about Miles, but I’ve only been doin’ this for like a couple months, so…” Milo mumbled half-heartedly beside his brother. That comment earned him another set of glares, including one from Miles.
“A year. A year! A year, that’s how long you’ve been lying to us?” Jeff was pacing now, clearly stressed out. He was mumbling things under his breath that both boys would rather not know anything about.
Miles jumped up from his seat, seizing the opportunity when he could. “Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait, guys. Mom, dad. Listen to me, please,” he begged, hands splayed out in front of him.
He took a breath. He opened his mouth.
“Until college.” Rio interrupted, holding a finger up. “Both of you. Grounded! Until college! You will both be adults before you ever go out without my permission ever again!”
Miles deflated. “O-kay but mom, please! Hear me out first!”
Rio held a hand up. “I don’t wanna hear it! I cannot believe that both of my sons would lie to me like this! For an entire year, no less! Dios, dame paciencia, coño!” ² She shook her head as she held her face in her hands. “Do you two know what you’re doing to me? Look at me, I’m getting grey hairs as we speak!”
Jeff immediately took her side. “Do you realize what you’re doing to your mother? You’re killing her! And you--” he rounded on Milo all of a sudden, jolting the poor boy into sitting up straight. “You are killing me! You’re going around wearing those godforsaken gloves around, punching bad guys just cuz you wanna feel like a big man, huh? Do you know what that does to me?!”
Milo visibly prickled up, hunching in on himself. “I’m not doing it for me,” he bit out angrily.
“Then for who, huh?”
“I wanted to save the little guys on the street... when the cops couldn’t. I wanted to help Miles.” Milo sounded tired, and for a split second he looked much older beyond his years. Both of his parents softened for only a fraction of a second before Jeff rubbed his eyes and turned back to Miles.
"And who made you Spider-man all of a sudden? What happened a year ago? Tell me the truth. I don't want any detail left out!"
Ah, interrogation mode already, Miles thought humorlessly.
He sighed and dutifully got started on the whole backstory, careful to leave out the fact that he was with Aaron the moment he got shot, skipping to the part where he "found" his uncle's nearly lifeless body in that alleyway that fateful day. It was a harmless enough lie… Miles presumed. Right?
"Did you… then... h-how did you see who shot Aaron, Miles? Were you there?" Jeff asked quietly, also looking as tired as Milo did. Miles paused, not expecting the question.
Rio shot him a look. "Jeff, mi amor, please. Now is really not the time." She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Right now, we have to talk about this... this... situation we have going on here. What's next?"
Miles shrugged, palms facing forward as if to say and the rest is history. "I'm... pretty sure you guys know the rest. Dad... you were uh, there. At the collider. I stopped Kingpin and then I just. Well, yeah. Y'all have already watched all of the news stories and the videos. So," he finished lamely.
Then, a surge of confidence as he looked at the concerned expressions dawning on his parents' faces. It's now or never.
"...B-but I love being Spider-man! Dad, you've seen me out there, the way I fight, the fact that you guys have less to deal with cuz I'm out there kicking ass!"
Oops. Wrong words.
Miles' confidence deflated as soon as those concerned and sympathetic looks turned into ones of anger.
"Kicking ass?! More like getting your ass kicked, little boy! How many NewTube videos are out there of you getting crushed by cars," Jeff started to count off of his fingers, "hit by buses, tossed in the air, punched and flung halfway across the block--"
"Jeff, please!" Rio cried, wobbling a bit. She pulled out the chair closest to her from the table and slumped down into it, rubbing at her temples.
"S-sorry, hon..." Jeff placed an apologetic hand on his wife's shoulder.
Rio sighed deeply.
"I get it. I know. But dad..." Miles steeled himself this time. "When you put on that badge every single day and you go out into those streets to protect the city, you think you're never gonna get shot at? Jumped? It is literally your responsibility to put yourself in the way of danger so no one else has to." He turns to the table and grabs his mask.
"For me," Miles continues, "this is my badge. Okay? I put this on every single day and swing out into the streets so people can shoot at me, or ask me for directions, or wait for me to get weird guys in stupid costumes away from the train tracks. I do this every single day, because if I don't, who will? Peter is dead--" ...wow, that feels weird to say.
"Miles..." Rio's big brown eyes gaze sadly at her boy, standing tall with this awful mask in his hand. A mask that she desperately wished wasn't his.
"Mom. Peter is dead. He is. Okay? If I don't step up and take his place, knowing what I can do? Then I might as well not even be alive at all." He tosses his mask dramatically back onto the table to punctuate his point. "I can shoot webs from my wrists and I have strength like y'all wouldn't believe. I can stick to walls and do everything that Peter Parker was able to do before he passed away. If I just sit here doing nothing with these abilities while everyone struggles to live their lives every single day, letting bad guys with superpowers do whatever they want, then what's the point of anything? The exact same reason why I put on this suit to go fight crime is the exact same reason why you do, dad." Miles turns to his father now. "You have your suit, I have mine."
Milo jumps in, enthused. "And the reason why I put on my mask is because of him. And the civilians, too... of course. But it's not because I 'wanna feel like a big man', dad. It's because it drives me crazy seeing my own brother taking on all of this responsibility on his shoulders all by himself. Miles is gonna do crazy things now that he got bit by a super-spider, right? We literally cannot stop him, even if we tried. Trust me. Might as well go along with him and support him so he doesn't get himself killed out there. That's why I do this. Every single day."
Jeff opens his mouth to say something, but is then cut off by Rio's own small, sad voice. "... Why does it have to be you two?" She asks quietly.
She looks so small sitting there on their wooden dining room chair, and a million times more tired than when she came in through the door. She wasn't even out of her own nurse's uniform yet, either. Miles felt a pang of sympathy for her.
Miles... did not know the answer to her question either. He really didn't. Why was it him-- out of all of the people in Brooklyn-- that got bit by that spider? Clearly, the universe had a grand, elaborate joke planned for him. That was really probably the only explanation for it all. But, no. No, there had to be something else in the cards for Miles. After all, he was bitten by the spider while out with his uncle who was secretly the Prowler, and he was present for not only Peter Parker's death, but that same uncle as well.
He squared his shoulders. And then told the truth.
"I... don't know," he admitted. "But... I do know this. Growing up, I always knew Spider-man was there to answer the call no matter what. He didn't pick this life of battling bad guys that wanna tear the city up all the time, a spider bit him, too. But he made me promise something before he died, and I have to live up to that promise. What else am I gonna do when I'm able to pick up cars with my bare hands?"
Granted, it was only a promise to stop the collider from opening a black hole inside of the city they lived in, but. Details. Anyways...
Rio hid her face in her hands again.
Miles softened his tone, sitting down. "This is something I worked really, really hard for and it's important to me. Milo... is kinda right. You can ground me. Until college. Or whenever. But as long as I've got these powers," he held his hands open, propping his elbows on his knees and meeting his mom's eyes, "and there's people out there that need saving? I gotta do what I gotta do, mami."
Milo leaned forward, too. "Yeah. Same here. He's not alone. The same reason we do this stuff is cuz... ever since we were little, we also watched you guys answer the call, no matter what. I never met Spider-man, before... y'know, but it doesn't matter. We do this for New York City."
Neither of their parents spoke for a bit, digesting all of this information in solemn silence. The anger from earlier all but melted away as they ruminated over all of this. All this time, their little boy was running around in a spandex costume, swinging around, punching bad guys and lifting fallen buildings off of people. There was... a hint of pride underneath all of the fear and anger and betrayal and anxiety, even Rio couldn't lie.
But god, how would things ever be the same again after knowing that the very hero who swung from building to building and knocked villains down before webbing them up was the very same boy with the brightest brown eyes they've ever seen; the boy who brought home A's on his test like he won a medal, the same boy who sang horribly off-key while doodling all over his sketchbook, who refused to tie his shoelaces and drove Jeff up the wall when he found graffiti and stickers all around the city in Miles' name? It was impossible... Rio's heart broke into two pieces.
And Milo... a tougher counterpart to her little ray of sunshine, but just as sweet. The same boy who would feed stray cats on the block, beam like a ray of light after winning a boxing match against a tough opponent, who would hide behind Rio at parties and join her happily to watch the latest episode of the new telenovela they both got hooked on... that same boy was wearing those gloves, swinging around the city looking like a bad guy himself. Rio's shattered heart gained another huge crack before finally breaking into three pieces.
Finally, she sighed again.
"You have superpowers?" She asked, hesitantly.
"... I... yeah, I do." Miles answered, fearing that this was a trick question.
Rio nodded sadly. "Of course. Of course..."
Jeff spoke up, now kneeling beside his wife, caressing her hand clasped in between both of his. "Just because you have superpowers, doesn't mean you're invincible. Miles, we do this because we care about you. Maybe we won't be able to stop either of you from putting yourself in harm's way... I mean, hell, nobody can stop me. But... god, isn't there any other way?"
Miles raised a brow. "Any other way to...?"
Jeff blew out a breath. "I-I dunno, can't you use your super strength to... well, maybe help the transportation department move some tracks around, build some new stations... that'd help the city. Swing around and deliver medicine to people for free? God, I don't know. I just don't want either of you to jump in front of bullets for other people... man..." he shook his head.
Miles and Milo exchanged glances. "I... I know it's tough to accept this," Miles started, unsure of what to say. "Maybe I can scale back the dangerous stuff some but... I... can't just stand around directing traffic when someone's getting mugged. Or a bank is getting robbed. Dad, I just can't. Maybe you guys will hate it every time I put the suit on and swing outside but... I can't give this up now. I'm sorry." He dipped his head apologetically.
Another long stretch of silence.
A clock ticks on the wall in the kitchen, and the ice maker in the fridge starts humming again. It's all so painfully domestic, painfully ordinary, it's almost an insult to the people living in this apartment facing these serious revelations all at the same time. It sure is a sharp contrast to the solemn mood settling all over everyone right now.
Rio looks deeply into Miles' eyes, then Milo's. After a while, she turns to face Jeff. "Jeff. You will not like what I'm about to say."
Jeff returns her look with one of confusion. "Honey..."
Rio shrugs, a small gesture but one that makes Miles and Milo's hearts skip a beat. "Mi vida, these are our boys. They have... this big responsibility now, to the people here in this city. Just like you. Just like me," she swallows and continues. "You and me? We've seen what Miles is capable of. Well, the both of them. And as much as it hurts, it would probably hurt even more if we kept them both back from being the heroes they need to be. What we need to do now is... we need to support them. We love them. They need us. We need them! Qué más puedo decir?" ³
Jeff looked deeply into his wife's eyes and then inhaled deeply. Not quite a sigh. That was maybe a good sign?
He stands up.
"...Boys."
The twins took their cue. They both stood up, too. Milo quickly discards his ice pack on his chair. Rio joins them, leaning on Jeff for support.
"When police officers get sworn in, they usually just have to do paperwork nowadays. Not too much of the whole bells and whistles due to high turnover rates, but tonight... if either of you want to continue to fight crime in this city, you both have to put your right hand up. Right now."
Miles could cry. Milo bit his lip to try and hide his grin, and they both dutifully raised their right hands at the same time. Jeff does the same, and reaches his left hand out to take Miles'. Rio takes Milo's.
"Pretend we are the Bible. Not paperwork. The Bible."
Both boys nod with all the seriousness they could manage, looking their father in the eyes.
"Do you solemnly swear on your mother and father's life that you will uphold the law and do right by the citizens of Brooklyn, New York, so help you God?"
"I mean... the law law? Cuz sometimes we--" Milo started, immediately earning an elbow to the side. He shut up.
"Yes, the law. I will not be having the DA of New York City up in my home lookin' for you two in case anyone gets badly hurt. I don't want him in my office, either." Jeff gives them both a look.
Miles pipes up. "Yes, we swear, so help us God."
"Milo?"
Milo nods emphatically. "Yes, I swear, so help me God."
Jeff nods once.
"Mijos. You will both be allowed to go and fight crime outside, con mi bendiciones. But. But... you will both also do it under two conditions. If either of you break my rules, you will have wished that spider never bit you," Rio glared at Miles. Then to Milo, "and you will have wished you never stole your uncle's gloves from his apartment. Got it?"
Both boys nodded, still holding onto their parents' hands.
"So, my two rules are this. Only two. Easy to remember, okay? Number one. Milo, you will take care of your brother as best as you can. Miles, you will take care of Milo as best as you can. Both of you will always be seen together when going out and doing hero things, do you understand?"
"Yes, mamí" the boys say simultaneously.
"Never, ever go out alone, ever. Neither of you will be alone for even a second, especially during the nighttime. Promise me this."
Miles puts his right hand down to take his mother's other hand in his. "Yes, mom. I promise. We both promise."
Rio bows her head. "...And as for my second rule."
"Do we have to have a curfew?" Milo asks quietly. Everyone shoots him a look again.
"No, no curfew." Before the boys could get excited, she quickly adds, "except for on school nights." They both calm back down.
"Your education is always, always more important. Don't forget this," she lets go of their hands to hold up a finger. "But as for my second rule? No more secrets between us. All of us. Okay? You tell me exactly when it is you leave to go and do what you need to do, and exactly when you come back. Promise me this, too."
This time, it was Miles' turn to start saying something dumb. "I meaann, like every single time? Cuz sometimes it's not really a one-and-done kinda thing, like a shift or--"
Everyone glares at Miles. Miles promptly shuts up.
"...Sí, mamí. Te prometemos todo eso." ⁴ Milo answers seriously.
Rio sucks in a breath. "Okay. Okay..."
She looks as if she's about to burst into tears, so everyone draws in tightly for a group hug. Rio sniffles against Milo's shoulder and Jeff leans his chin on Mile's head. Miles laughs wetly.
"Geez, y'all are crying? Man, for what? Ain't nobody dying or anything..." Milo interjects suddenly, causing the whole mood to dissipate all at once. Everyone laughs incredulously.
"Boy, if you don't know how to read a room..." Jeff starts, a warning tone laced into his playful grin.
"Man, I was just trying to lighten the mood! Damn, I mean shouldn't we be celebrating? Miles literally has super strength, you guys. Like c'mon, right? That is literally the coolest thing in the whole world!"
Rio groans, tossing her head back. "Mira esté, 'coolest thing in the whole world'... déjame agarrarte, maldito cabron..." ⁵ she mutters sarcastically, moving to grab at Milo's neck in the exact same way Miles did not even an hour earlier. He playfully dodged out of the way, putting his arms up to block, out of habit.
"Cabron?! Mom, you're so mean!" Milo complained.
"C'mere!"
Jeff leans in and interrupts their banter. "Milo. Son. You have to sit with me on the couch now, cuz we have to have a little chat about how you got your hands on those gloves, actually..." He grabs at one of Milo's arms, his smile just a tad bit too wide. Milo gulps.
Jeff continues, steering them both away from Miles and Rio. "And we also have to talk a bit about the history behind those things, too..."
Rio turns to Miles and cups his cheeks in her hands, looking into his eyes. "Do you actually, actually swear to me that you will try your hardest to stay safe?"
"Yes, mom, I do! We said it like a hundred times."
"Your father was right. Just because you have super strength now--"
"And super-healing."
Rio stares at him for a beat.
Miles squirms nervously. "...What? I do!"
"Super-healing, sure. Uh huh. If I catch you with bullet holes inside of you, I am not taking you to the ER then, Mr. Invincible."
"Ouch. Harsh."
"I warned you! I'm smiling like I'm joking but I'm really not!"
"Okay, okay, geez. C'mon, ma. It's really not that big of a deal. I don't get shot at as much as you'd think! Seriously! I'm fast. And... and I've been doing this for a while now. You have to trust me, okay?"
Rio sobered up. "I know. I know. I just... mi amor, I am your mother. I worry about you. You know... I've been taking care of my two little boys for so many years now. I just... I care about the both of you even when you two drive me completamente loca! I trust that you can both handle yourselves, I really do. It's just hard. It is. I-it'll... take some time to get used to."
Miles nodded. "Growing up is tough. I get it."
Rio smacked him on the shoulder.
"Ow! What, it's true! We're all growing up right now, I'm not a little kid anymore and... and you're not the mom of two little kids now. It's just... it's a transitional period! Life's tough!" Miles shrugs, smiling warmly.
Rio smirked, crossing her arms. "Uh huh. It sure is."
Then, she opened her arms for another hug from Miles, which he happily returned.
"I mean it, Miles. Whatever happens, I want you to keep yourselves safe. And ask for help. Papí, your father is a police officer. And whatever you need, whatever you need... I'm here, too."
Miles beamed at his mother with tears in his eyes.
"I know, mom. Thank you."
☆ translations:
¹ "my god, i'm going to die."
² "god, grant me patience, fuck!"
³ "what more can i say?"
⁴ "yes, mom. we promise you all of that."
⁵ "Lookit this guy, 'coolest thing in the whole world'... lemme get my hands on you, fucking bastard..."
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daily-lightbulbii · 5 months ago
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(//i don't normally do text but cw in the tags erm. i went a little off track)
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 9 months ago
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It's dead af at work. We got through our four reservations and have had no walk ins, and my manager won't cut me because he hates doing my job (and we're friends and he knows I need the money) and tbh I don't want to be cut (can't really afford to be) but I'm actually going insane from sitting on my stool, going through Tumblr, Insta, Kindle, then standing up and going through those apps again, then sitting down and going through those apps again, etc. it's nice to get paid to do nothing, because tbh if I was cut then I'd just be doing this but in my bed, but I'm getting so fucking restless.
#truly im unneeded rn#my other manager gave me the option to be cut before my shift even started but again. I'm broke af#so i came in. and im getting paid $15 an hour to scroll through all of my apps#and im trying to be mildly productive#trying to do some resding because i didnt resd as much as i wanted this month#to make up for it i finished three books in the last two days and im going for a fourth#one of them i had already started. one was pretty short. and one was so good that i tore through it fast#this is a more difficult story. about a school shooting. not super fun but a good story nonetheless#you ever read a book and then want to forget it so you can read it for the first time again?#i just read jumper by Melanie Crowder and it was so good. although apparently the diabetes information isnt accurate#but the story was very very good and kept me interested the whole way#the problem with this school shooting story is that its good. it draws my attention. but its understandably very hard to read#fourteen ish minutes until my paycheck goes through and then i find out if i can pay rent this month#that's part of why im restless too. nervous about paying rent. my job hours are unpredictable and so are the paychecks#i think ill be okay but as always im terrified that it wont#anyway im in a bit of a reading rut. if you hsve any book recs (not a big fan of fantasy. generally like realistic fiction. ya. lgbt)#that type of stuff. like jumper. the Miseducation of Cameron Post. message not found. stuff like that#open to recommendations#love yall. i hope you all have more thsn enough money to pay rent
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cathalbravecog · 1 year ago
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Man... I can't stop thinking about the things that were talked about on the stream, especially the answer on my question - so... get ready for a ramble! its a long one. oops. i dont even know where im going with this, im just dumping my thoughts somewhere. half is about ttcc lore in general and the streams, the other half is about cathal and me projecting onto him deeper.
before i even hop deeper into this, it wasn't until early today that i learned that there was a whole drama about cranky's answers (regarding the graham and flint question and the whole "keep it sane" thing. i thought it was...off, but i understood it as 'do what you want people, just don't start any harassment because of ships and your favorite pairs'.
definitely could have been phrased better, though. at least we got a good response and an apology later from maven on twitter. but i legit did not know this was a drama until those twitter posts were made LOL. i dont interact with the fandom so i do not know how that answer was percieved by most. or if anyone except for me and my friends have had any thoughts about the question i asked that got answered.)
and what im tryna get to is that i get cranky isnt the one to be answering lore things, and probably didnt know what to answer... but it's still something to think about
because being told "cogs and toons just dont become how they are out of the blue" (paraphrasing here) as an answer to what cathal initially thought of seeing his dad be bet up and thrown off a tower is... confusing? he did say first and foremost that it has to be built upon before saying that. i understand that this is... a lot of characters! and cathal did have some focus on him thanks to the comic and they wanted to focus on other managers... but some have deeper, more intricate lore that's easy to grasp (especially the more, well, angstier managers like chip and misty.)
and we have gotten some extra lore for other managers like belle, mary, tawny.... thanks to thomas' rambles.
and it's definitely difficult for a team of volounteers working hard on a fan game together to make lore for all the characters, that are still very young in their *life span*, having been around for less than a year. despite ttcc being more character driven and focused on the cogs, it's still a game they have to run so they cannot focus on lore only and some game management has to be done first. there's a bunch of things they have to consider, like consistency and how fans may react, or possible themes or what they want the story to be...
and. yeah. its hard since. come on lets admit it. clash has an issue with how these are all given to us. hell, there's lore bits i still dont know about and im still learning because it's..so all over the place. a new player will not know about it. maven acknowledged this in the tweet and i really appreciate that, as it's honestly been my number one issue with clash, especially as someone who is there for the lore. (i mean, and the gameplay, i know some people who don't play the game itself much. well i sure do a little TOO MUCH because i have PROBLEMS. but im interested in the lore, too, yknow?)
some lore you cant learn from the wiki, and unless you interact with the community, you may never learn *where* all of this even is. if you werent live for certain lore there, it's hardly accessible to you. lore locked behind one time events, an arg website, wikis, discord chats... all that. it's hard to keep track of! i'm sure it's like that for both the fans and the writers. these characters are great, fun, and i love them, but the way we are given this information is... not the best. it's very easy to miss certain details.
it's especially bad if you're like me - only ever interacting with a close group of people you trust, (because people are scary especially a lot of... lore driven fans. yeahnoimeanshippers.sorry.and just big crowds of people in general) having only gotten back into the game recently AFTER most of the major lore events (first played once in 2019, then never again until january 2023) and also you dislike youtube and video content, so you dont watch it. something in your brain would rather if you step on a nail than watch a playthrough video (especially with commentary).
like in general it shouldnt be necessary to go through all these hoops just to know the lore! especially for things that may have little lore...
anyways, uh, back to cathal. i cannot stop thinking about this.
it definitely wasnt an answer to what i specifically asked - but possibly more so about... why cathal is the way he is? and despite what my brain and low self esteem during hard times may tell me - i do not believe that anybody is truly "lazy". i just dont think that exists. there's always some reason behind a person being unmotivated or lazy. even the little things!
but like... that's just kinda obvious. all toons and cogs have motivations. thats like... one of the basics of writing characters. have motivations for characters and reasons for why they are how they are. doesnt have to be anything tragic, just.... how they are as people.
it's totally unrelated to the question of what cathal thought about seeing his dad like that... but oh well! i asked that because i made up my own story around that already, and i just wanted to see what someone working on the game thinks about the same idea.
not to be Tumblr User CathalBravecog, but, of course I have projected heavily onto cathal. i have already stated how important cathal is to me as a character, especially with appreciating myself when im.. not exactly the most motivated. when im not doing much. taught me to appreciate breaks. hell! i keep preaching this myself. its okay to take breaks! and yet i often end up not doing it and i overwork myself on games and art and other things.
there's... a lot of things "wrong" with me that i don't have names for yet, especially due to not having a diagnosis for them, but they're very real feelings and they cause me to be unable to do things a lot of the time. various mental blocks and a new member of the gang... physical pai! hooray.
this... endless productivity we are forced and expected to do. it can take a toll on you. breaks are just as necessary and to say it's a thing that has to be re-learned is... sickening. hooray for living in a Corporate (clash) society, fellas.
one thing i can say is that i absolutely headcanon that cathal has adhd - though, maybe not the same type i do. i do not think he gets randomly hyper and wants to (and does) jump around everywhere and blurt things out randomly and impulsively. cathal here has the low energy, yknow.
i like that a lot of the content around him doesnt even describe him with the words "lazy" and "sleepy" instead.
every day is the same... even if his job is relatively simple, just watching over the camera feed - it's definitely boring... and having to do it every day is not rewarding. and being mostly alone and without consequence, he gives into wanting to do something else. he's got these huge screens and a room to himself, and he loves watching shows and cartoons... so he's gonna do that. it's more fun. it's stimulating. and especially with his dad being the one to give him his position, he knows that he's got nothing to really worry about there.
i also think it's a bit hard to be motivated knowing that... this war between the cogs and toons is just. endless. hell, again, he has to see his dad *everyday* be attacked by them. his body damaged after the fall - only to be fixed again. rinse and repeat. i would too, find it pointless. especially if you're like cathal, since i pointed out before that he is very kind and caring towards the other cogs. he's also thoughtful, noting that yknow... a lot of stairs to get to his room.
why do all that when you can chill... and feel good. do something that feels nice...
i don't have any names for this, but with how sleepy he usually is, that's definitely a thing to consider too. and just, from experience... being tired and/or sleepy it... dismotivates you even more. its so hard to start tasks even if you *want* to do them. and considering cathal mooost likely doesn't want to do his work on his own - then these tasks can be just. impossible to start.
like, i have struggled with this my entire life myself, just because of my adhd screwing with everything, but after getting covid and most definitely getting a form of chronic exhaustion from it.. things have been even harder. i pull myself through day and i barely have the energy to even start anything. sometimes i dont even do anything all day and... woops! still no mood or energy to do anything. i just work on random bursts of motivation and things that captivate me...
not sure how it relates to cathal, but, hey, if im personal here ill ramble about it too because WOW it has been biting me in the ass and i need to speak to Professionals About It
like... i dont think hes being "lazy" willingly, yknow? theres a reason behind it. it definitely is just... being sleepy, the comfort... the fun and stimulation doing something fun he's interested in (his shows) are just... stronger desires and way easier for him to get to. why struggle through something when it takes up all your energy, and then you feel no reward for it? yeah. exactly. even just "not feeling like it" is a reson. "not having energy" is a reason. hey, are these things to get better about if needed? certainly. i wish i could get help with this, it would help me in my life so so much. but should it be seen as ENTIRELY negative and as being a "hinder to society". hell nah. and i think thats swag. cathal is swag he can do this, good for him lmaooo. my brain is deteriorating i apologize.
there was... another thing i wanted to say, but i forgot. so i'll move on.
but just... yeah. i dont think cathal is just lazy. i dont believe in "laziness". he's got reasons for why he prefers naps and just... watching tv instead of doing his work. perhaps he does want to do these things, but gave up on trying. its not worth the effort, it does not feel good. its not stimulating enough to keep him going.
#long#ramble#cathalposting#i...may delete this later i dont know. i both wanna talk to ppl i know about this#but also Do Not Percieve me. I am Afraid Of What People Think#Stay Back Foul Beasts !#alsoy eah i had other stuff to talk about...more on the negative side i guess but??? its. a bit difficult to#give and .. angstier things? negative thoughts? to a character who you see a lot of comfort in. they make you happy#they help you feel better about yourself. you want to see them happy. if theyre happy#youre happy. if theyre sad...well. you are sad. sadness is natural. its a real thing. it happens sometimes. its a part of life#and i have attached some of these things to cathal already. but a few things are hard for me to consider because of The Brain Worms.#i dont want to see him hurt either yknow.#anyways i hope you enjoyer my mental illness ramble. im not normal and you shouldve known that when you followed me#thank you for existing cathal ray toby braveswag#hey fun fact remember how i said i get tired of stuff myself easily well this whole thing made me tired. i was gonna#answer an ask but now im like. man. (melts into a puddle)#(doesnt take a break bc i need instant stimulation and makes things worse for myself)#do yall see why i like cathal so much now gamers?#ya. sorry this got personal. if any of you can handle reading this u deserve a reward.#and maybe i need to start talking about personal things this much. but whatever#this is my blog i can talk about anything and thats the COOL THING!#MWAHAHAHHAHAHA!#dies#ivegot a lot going on in my brain rn cant u tell
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slimeylee · 8 months ago
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why have these last years fucking sucked ass
#slimey-vents#trigger warning below hi did you drink water today and eat something i hope u did ur so cool and amazing pls get some rest gives u a cookie#please scroll past if uninterested i also dont want u to feel obligated like u have to read n listen to me vent and ramble on abt dumb shit#like 2020 - 2024 . have just been ass .#we're not even halfway into 2024 and it already is just#garbage . like its fucking horrible#i dont see how this year could get . any worse ?? but i wouldnt want to get my hopes up on that itll get better ?#like god what has been happening .#covid came up technoblade got cancer and passed away israel's continuing their mass genocide#and a lot of things have happened in my personal life . such as my mother passing away .#and . its just been so fucking hard ??#i wish i had lasting hope in humanity . but tbh i dont think its ever gonna get any better and that really fucks w me#ive been having suicidal thoughts and ive just been in a very shitty mental state recently#like social media#is honestly the only thing i have to live on#i have honestly boring friends n all my friends dont go to my school . my gf doesnt even go to my school#ive had to switch schools after having a fun time and doing a lot better . the only thing that im holding on by a thread to is social media#all my friends . my fandoms . etc . i talk to through my phone and through here#im so glad to have met everybody that i have on here#im sorry this is getting really long ive started going on a ramble but i just want everyone to know that i love yall /p#i appreciate everybody so much . all my moots and my close friends that ive made not only here but irl as well#and everybody that ive talked to throughout the time we've known each other . i really just want to think that everything will get better#everybody that ive met through my years of social media and school have really changed my life . and idk what i wouldve done#having never met any of them . especially my moots on here that ive grown close to#its just been stressful . but ive strived to get through it all . despite how hard it is#and how desperately i just want to let go from everything#but ending one thing doesnt end any pain it just gives it on to someone else#and i know that im way too pussy to end anything anyways .#but on another note .#please remember that you are amazing . talented . strong . and i appreciate and ily so much . /p
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revasserium · 1 year ago
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omfg my moment has FINALLY come
here are some market perfumes that will smell similar to each of the boys + fragrance analysis (from someone who proudly works at the largest fragrance house in the world u_u):
disclaimer: no, i haven't smelled any of the actual scently products, this is purely based on the tmd (top, mid, dry) that we're given; and no, i haven't smelled all (tho i do try to rec ones that i have smelled before) of the suggestions listed, so i can't say definitively how similar they will/won't be to the actual scently frags; this is all for fun and games and based off my own fragrance training and industry knowledge <3
leon:
eau d'hermes
massimo dutti
guess men (original)
olfactive family: aromatic fougere
breakdown: so what's interesting is that the structure of leon's perfume is really classic -- like truly, if you look at the stuff that it'll smell similar to, all those are from like the late 90's, bc leon's frag looks like a super classical aromatic fougere composition, which is something that was popularized in the 1880's in france, basically with a lavender/citrus top and dries down to a warmer, dark woody/mossy base. we don't really see the dark woody base specifically in the notes called out on leon's frag, but jasmine tends to have a darker, almost leather-like animalic note in it (indole). a few interesting things i wanted to point out is that linalool is not usually listed as a "note", it's usually listed as a potential allergen, but it has a citrusy floral kind of smell and is wildly popular in anything fragranced, from perfume to like lysol wipes; jasmine, clove, thyme are more popularly listed/used as mid/heart notes, but they can definitely be used as base notes depending on how they're used. overall, i think leon's fragrance will be super duper "vintage men's" fragrance, which. kinda fits with his persona.
chevalier:
giorgio
overdose
eudora royal
olfactive family: fruity floral... chypre?
breakdown: bro. wtf. lmao okay no but srsly, these ingredients gave me a bit of pause and also trouble, mostly because wintergreen is so not a "traditional" perfumery ingredient, but it is way more common in east asia and it has an almost... pine-y freshness to it which would contrast nicely with the green apple and the sweet orange (lmfao wat on earth), so i get it -- i see the vision here (hence the chypre? classification). setting that aside, just looking at the notes here, this almost skews into a traditionally feminine perfume, mostly because of the insane amount of white flowers -- jasmine, lily, gardenia, ylang/ilang, like this is a true white flower bouquet with like... a fruity sweet top and some cool, aromatic spices folded in. idk if they were really considering what the fragrance would smell like or if they were just like "lets use exclusively white-colored ingredients" but... lmao. this frag would most likely be super super floral and sweet, and last not that long, bc literally where are the base notes LOL. which. is fascinating considering chev's character (or at least what i know of it???) cause... they could've gotten really interesting with some darker/harsher base notes or with something with a bit more contrast. also, whiterose is not a real perfumery ingredient, but there are such things as "fantasy" ingredients, which is just an accord that is inspired by the thing, so in this case, the vibe of the white rose lmao.
yves:
escada 2005
humor no ar
tresor (1990)
olfactive family: fruity floral amber
breakdown: finally some base notes!! and a super classic combo at that! musk, vanilla, sandalwood -- we love to fucking see it. so the makeup of this fragrance is actually pretty commercial, we've got some fruity freshness at the top with that apple, underlined by the cassis (which is just a fancy way of saying black currant, and then a pretty solid fruity-floral mid, to one of my all time favorite base combos of all time u__u. this frag is gonna smell like a cashmere sweater, soft and nuzzly, and will prob sit pretty close to the skin. the powderiness of the iris is gonna pair super well with the creamy sandalwood, and the apricot + rose combo just sounds fantastic. this is also a pretty "young" fragrance, i'd like to say, since the rise of "skin scents" is a pretty recent thing, what with the boom of glossier you and le labo another 13 (both were made by my company, and by my fav perfumer!!!), it really brought on this concept of wearing fragrance not to attract a partner, but for yourself and your own comfort/happiness. i don't know much about yves cause i haven't read his route, but the fact that his animal is a cat makes sense with this fragrance for sure LOL
nokto:
pengaligon's gardenia
semi-bespoke no. 25
classique (1993)
olfactive classification: floral amber
breakdown: another win for the base notes!! lmao can u tell i'm a big fan of musk-sandalwood perfumes, can you. okay, but this is quite interesting, bc we have yet another quite white-flower centric fragrance with some spices and light woods thrown in. the entire "top" is just... white flowers (white flowers is actually an olfactive family of ingredients of... well, white... flowers!), and there's 1 spice in the middle, with a very similar base to the one we saw in yves's perfume -- sandalwood, musk, and heliotrope, which is often used to enhance longevity in fragrances. i think overall, this fragrance would be quite "warm" and pretty creamy, and very, very floral. again, don't know much about nokto other than that he's got the reputation of a womanizer, so it makes sense to me that he'd just smell like flowers. probably like a mix of all the different floral perfumes of the women he's slept with or something like that.
licht:
fleur de frangipanier
women of earth
could be interesting:
night
cafe intenso
olfactive classification: floral fruity
breakdown: this also gave me a bit of trouble looking for stuff that would smell similar, tbh. but again, it's got that vanilla sandalwood base + nemesia, which is literally just a flower that smells like vanilla. so the base of this frag is gonna be... vanilla-heavy for sure. the rest is quite... simple? fruity top with that wintergreen note again, plus the lily, sweet pea, orchid heart, which is going to be quite petally and light. i included night and cafe intenso, purely because i think that they're interesting choices for anyone who wants like a licht fragrance + a bit more depth. i get that they're leaning into the licht = light thing with the frag cause they really did pick a lot of light-smelling ingredients, but i would've loved to see like... a vetiver/patchouli/dark woods base or even something more jammy and resinous, just for that contrast in his character, ykno?
clavis:
michael sheer
l'eau d'issey
senza fine
olfactive classification: floral aquatic
breakdown: first of all, byakudan is literally just the jpn for "sandalwood" so i'm not sure why they decided to make it sound all schmancy for clavis but... maybe that's just in character lmfao. but!!! his frag would thus far probably be my personal fav? mainly because of the use of "sea salt" or "marine" notes, which is one of my fav families of notes mainly bc it smells like... well, the ocean! the zesty citrus top paired with sea salt/marine notes is a super classic combo, floral heart (fyi, muguet is just the fancy french name for "lily of the valley"), and a base of -- you guessed it, musk and sandalwood and heliotrope. but while i think this fragrance would nice and refreshing, it's very... inoffensive. which, i feel like is kind of missing clavis as a character? or maybe they want to highlight how "refreshing" he is? but either way im glad that i get to plug one of my fav fragrances l'eau d'issey -- like pls it smells so good so... light and pretty, just like clavis LOL.
jin:
quasar 2019
mj man
vetiver pour homme cologne
olfactive classification: woody aromatic fougere
breakdown: woof -- this is such a quintessentially "man" fragrance sldkfjsdlkdf. though, galbanum is not usually a top note, so take that with a grain of salt. also, "ho leaf" is a kind of eucalyptus-type green ingredient, hence the aromatic classification. but again, the structure with the citrus top, spicy/sweet middle, and a super duper warm/dark base of oakmoss, rosewood, and amber, you're going to have a very classic "male" fragrance. it's not quite sauvage by dior or bleu de chanel but the core is there -- citrus top, white flower/spice heart, amber/woods base. i think of all the ones we've done so far, this is by far the most currently commercial masculine fragrance. you can probably walk into any department store, ask for their best selling "male" fragrance, smell it, and it'll smell vaguely like this. and, based on what i know about jin... makes sense, no?
luke:
madamoiselle rochas edt
peonypop
romance edp intense
olfactive classification: floral fruity
breakdown: this one is actually quite interesting bc like chev, these are all traditionally feminine coded perfumes, but i do think that this has the potential to smell pretty unisex. so the lychee at the top is interesting, mostly bc rose notes usually have a lychee facet to them -- they're sweet and a little metallic on the nose, so highlighting that at the top could be "divisive" on that some people love that kind of sharp top, and some ppl freaking HATE it. violet leaf is pretty "ozonic" so it also has that "toppy" fresh kind of vibe, and some say that it smells kinda like cucumbers, and i'd imagine that pairs pretty well with the rosey, jammy blackcurrant and apple heart, though it has the potential to lean fruity-sweet. i think this one is a big hit or miss -- you either love it or you hate it, there's very little in between.
sariel:
la nuit de l'homme edt
bugatti homme
epices
olfactive classification: woody spicy
breakdown: wOOf that's a lot of spice LMFAO. and finally! some dark woods!!! vetiver and patchouli are both gonna give that freshly turned earth, hiking on an early morning kind of smell, while the tonka bean is gonna make this very faintly sweet at the end. we've got some nice, "sparkling" top notes with that bergamot and pink pepper, the mint is gonna give it great "lift", and the heart notes are literally all warm spices. this actually has all the makings of a very oud-y kind of fragrance, even without oud in it, and it's gonna appeal to people who are huge fans super super spicy fragrances that are very big and enveloping and warm, but with a lot of "base", like this is gonna last so freaking long on the skin and will probably discolor your lighter colored clothes... good thing sariel mainly wears blaCK LOL
rio:
aqua di gio
mandarine sultane
neroli portofino
olfactive classification: floral citrus
breakdown: YALL. who would've thunk that RIO is the boy to bring both aqua di gio AND neroli portofino HOME LOL. we are at that tried and true citrus + white flowers + amber/musk base. and i think for rio that makes so much sense cause he's the iconique golden retriever bf right like. he's there, he's steady, you know he's always gonna be batting those hundreds when you need him. and maybe its bc i work for the house that created aqua di gio and it's breakdown has been carved into my bones, but i got halfway through the mid notes and was like AYE YO??? is this nOT ??? THE ONE? and honestly, don't knock it till you've tried it. i know a lot of people tend to turn their noses up at the uber popular/well known frags bc "everyone uses it" or it's "cliche" but aqua di gio? slaps! it does super well on blind tests, it's light, it's zesty, it's just floral enough to be enticing, but not so much that it gets overwhelming, and the amber/musk base sits so well on the skin i CRY. anyway, i think it fits rio's character so much, and i'm stoked about it.
gilbert:
obsession
orlo
???? help wtf gilbert i give up
olfactive classification: ambery spicy?
breakdown: sir. sit. this was insane to try and find, and honestly like... we get it. ur *special* LMAO. like sweet basil, fennel, WINTER DAPHNE, specifically BLACK tea, aND ALSO rum? okay, so let's break it down, literally -- basil and fennel are both gonna be like green, herbacious, and slightly spicy, it'll have a pretty herby/green opening with a bit of kick. neroli is... well neroli, and jasmine is also. jasmine. winter daphne, is a kind of flowering plant in east asia that's well known for having a biggg fragrance and like little bunches of flowers. they usually smell pretty floral/sweet, but they've also got like a bit of a spicy kick to them. i honestly don't know how the black tea would sit in this, i think unless it's a huge overdose of black tea, it's gonna get lost in all the other super strong, overwhelming ingredients, not the least of which... is rum. and trust me, i've toyed with the rum accord that we have in our office, you put a single drop of that in anything and it immediately smells like rum. pair that with amber and vanilla at the bottom, and you've got a fragrance that'll prob open to be kind of green and toppy, but immediately veer into a sweeter, almost "stickier" fragrance. i truthfully think that this frag has the high potential to be like "sickeningly" sweet or syrupy, like if you mix spiced rum with like elderflower liqueur and nothing else... but i mean, it's gilbert, so... maybe that's what they're going for? and no, it was not intentional that the first frag suggestion is obession by calvin klein though it did make me laff at the IRONY
keith:
eau sauvage extreme 2010
dkny men summer 2012
uomo
olfactive classification: citrus aromatic fougere
breakdown: the fact that we start with sauvage extreme... just honestly *chefs kiss* bc like. i feel like extreme describes keith pretty well. otherwise, this is a pretty standard "masculine" fragrance, but in a very different way than jin and leon... bc leon was like classic men's fragrance from the 80's, there was still very much a warmth there (chivalry, perhaps? lol) while jin's is so much the early 2000's hyper masculinity everything is blue bottles and sexy manly men, this is very much... kinda both and kinda neither? we don't need to talk about the citrus top, cause... we've talked about it plenty already (though specifically including yuzu in keith's is a Move TM bc yuzu is not as sharp as bitter orange, not as sweet as orange or mandarin, its got a very specific freshness that's super great in "softer" fragrances). the heart notes is where it gets interesting -- elemi is actually a gorgeous woody/resinous ingredient that is derived from tree sap, and it's got a very sharp lemon and pine fragrance, so it's perfect for male fragrances. basil and clove leaf -- both green, herby, aromatic ingredients, so at first glance, this sounds like it's gonna be pretty chill, but I feel like the vetiver + the elemni is going to make this stronger than you think it is. which, again, fits doesn't it.
silvio:
hypnose homme
lavin l'homme
sean john
olfactive classification: amber spicy
breakdown: ambrette seed, ey? LMAO no but rly, this is very... true to form for silvio, i think. like, this smells like a rich european man. and guess what silvio is.... a rich. european. man. again, lots of warm spice in that mid section with an amber-musk base for warmth and long-lastingness. i do like the lime at the top, bc it'll give this a bit more of a zing that some of the other fragrances won't have at the top, but the citruses at the top usually flash off pretty quick. maybe it's cause i'm tired, but i was rly hoping that silvio's would be a bit more unhinged -- i do think it'll smell very quintessentially man, but like a bit more zesty LOL.
Ikemen Prince perfumes from the Ikepri x Scently collab
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winwintea · 9 days ago
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that's okay
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PAIRING ↬ academic rival!na jaemin x ace!female reader
TAGS ↬ fluff, romance, slight angst, academic rivals to lovers au, college au, fake dating au, jaemin = campus playboy, drunk decisions, art museum date, plushies because i want a plushie, jaemin is kinda whipped fr
SUMMARY ↬ you're determined to outshine your academic rival na jaemin, the campus heartthrob infamous for his frivolous reputation. but when a few too many drinks suddenly ropes you into a fake dating scheme with jaemin, you realize that there's much more to him than his playboy persona. can two opposites navigate a connection that’s anything but fake?
WORD COUNT ↬ 3.7k+
AUTHOR’S NOTE ↬ HAPPY BIRTHDAY @lotties-readings !! grinding this fic in a day was so fun. the 3 am brain creativity actually carried this time too. hope i did him justice 😭😭 SHOUTOUT TO THE ASEXUAL COMMUNITY I LOVE YALL <33 THIS ONE'S FOR YOU !!!!
PLAYLIST ↬ cooler than me - mike posner, anti-romantic - txt, are you satisfied? - marina, that's okay - d.o.
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WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
Na Jaemin. The Playboy. He’s probably slept with half of the school and the rumors are on and off with him. The college’s infamous frivolous playboy, a firm believer of the ‘hook up as much as you can before you find your soulmate!’ ideology. For some, it was oddly endearing. For you? Maddening. Because Na Jaemin wasn’t just a playboy. He was your rival. Jaemin just had this certain charm to him that attracted the masses. Everyone, including your friends, had had a crush on him at one point in their lives. Everyone except you. Despite his supposedly carefree attitude, he always ranked #1. And you? Stuck perpetually at #2, clawing at his heels, only for him to breeze past like it was nothing. If it were anyone else, maybe you wouldn’t care so much. But no—it had to be him.
You swore to steer clear of him. No parties, no flirtations, and certainly no personal involvement. That resolve lasted until one ill-advised college party, where Jaemin, drunk and absurdly charismatic, roped you into the lead role of his most ridiculous performance yet: his fake significant other. And you were equally as drunk to play along with it, nodding in the face of his ex-girlfriend as she looked at the both of you in disbelief. For a playboy like Jaemin, you thought he was managing to control his dating life better than this. But you guess he just got bored of being surrounded by love.  “Just go with it,” he’d said. You hadn’t thought it would last beyond that night.
You were wrong.
You suppose it’s partly your own fault finding yourself in your current situation, considering the recent events. In a world where everyone is busy chasing after time, enjoying the dating scene, you’re an outcast. An outcast with false modesty to trick people’s curiosity. You should be used to them by now, their comments about you not being interested in relationships. And even though you do feel fed up with it, the thought of lying about dating someone just so they can shut up never crossed your mind.
“Remind me again why I have to spend the whole day being your pretend partner.” you say, glaring as Jaemin hands you a pastry. “The party doesn’t start until 10PM tonight!” 
“Here you go, love. Be careful, it’s hot!” he says, completely ignoring your question. He resumes walking, hands in his pockets, as if this was the most normal thing in the world, resuming your slow stroll in the garden of a nearby art museum. You hurriedly take it from his hands if that would make him finally pay attention to your question.
“I know it’s hot,” you mutter, taking the pastry anyway. He’s insufferable. Even now, you can tell he’s doing this for show, making a big deal out of playing the doting boyfriend for the strangers milling about the museum garden. “Do you ever actually answer questions, or is that too much to ask?”
“Oh, I answer,” he breezily responds, unfolding a crumpled checklist from his coat pocket. “I’m just selective about when. Do you want to taste mine? I can taste yours too.”
“No thank you.”
Straightening the lapels of his gray coat, Jaemin fetches the brochure handed earlier to him out of his inner pocket and takes a quick look at it to make sure you checked out everything of interest in the area before entering the museum itself. “Now, do you want to check out the sculptures before we head to the main exhibit?”
The guy has a whole checklist of activities for the day. You’ve seen it. He purposely taped another page underneath just to scare you with its sheer length, but you’re seeing right through his tricks, the page is full of gibberish written just to take space. You’ve got your best frown on to keep the illusion of ignorance, hoping that you’d get bonus points for agreeing to go through the full contents of the list, both the real and the fake ones. 
But is it really an act? The occasional tidbits of satisfaction coming from beating Jaemin’s brilliant mind (not that you’d ever give him the credit for it) are hardly enough to keep you entertained throughout the day. When the activities you take on today are meant to be just that, entertaining. And romantic too. 
Now, were you a normal couple, a true couple, then maybe you’d be having fun now.
“Jaemin, I think partners are supposed to listen to each other. At the very least.”
He grins, entirely unbothered by your irritation. “Relax, Y/N. We’re supposed to look like we’re having fun. Couples don’t bicker this much in public, you know.”
“Maybe because real couples actually like each other.”
“And yet,” he says, slinging an arm around your shoulders, “Here we are. The picture of romance.” Ah. He’s right, damn it.
“I only lowered my guard because these people don’t know us, stupid… Let’s get inside already!”
Hearing his low, annoying chuckle triggers the sensory neurons in your brain until a neat little image of his smirk is produced with near-perfect accuracy. Have you simply seen it too many times? There’s no escape even when you turn your back to him, great.
You grit your teeth but let him guide you down a quieter path, away from the crowds. It’s all part of the act, you remind yourself. Just one day of playing along, and people will stop speculating about your personal life. Totally worth it.
Right?
Inside the museum, the tension eases slightly. The museum is magnificent to explore with the many pieces of art it houses. There’s so much to see that you’d frankly not mind getting lost in here just to have an excuse to spend more time surrounded by art.
You have to admit, Jaemin chose the perfect dating spot. You’re not sure if it was based on your own preferences. Surely not. But you find yourself not minding it suddenly.
“Picture!” he announces, pulling you close before you can protest.
Hearing the signal, you instantly turn in the direction of the raised-up phone, smiling for the camera as Jaemin presses his face closer to yours.
“Oh, this is a good one, I’m definitely posting it. You look so in love.”
“I’m in love with this work, that’s it.” you say flatly, staring at the painting behind him.
“Uh-uh. That works for me too.” Jaemin replies while his fingers dance across the screen, likely typing some cheesy caption for the picture. A second later your own phone vibrates in your pocket, signaling that he posted the picture and tagged you in it, and you don’t even bother looking.
“At least you’re a natural, Jaemin.”
“What, in faking an expression? How are you so sure?”
You blink, meeting his gaze as some child holding a balloon separates the two of you for a mere second. Instinctively, you shorten the distance so you don’t lose Jaemin, looking for his hand to take hold of. You’ve already been through that today, linking hands in the crowds. And while there was no real need to do that right now, you just did that…
To the question in your eyes evoked from his last words, he smirks and adds, “There are pieces of art here that I look at with fondness just like you do.”
Your heart sinks for a moment, only to create palpitations that mess with your head. You have no idea where they came from or what evoked this feeling in your chest, but while looking anywhere but at Jaemin, your gaze falls on other couples passing by. You were instructed to watch them if you’re having trouble recreating the subtle romantic gestures that indicate dating. Advice from him no doubt, one that you wish you could forget because it’s too late telling your brain to forget what it’s been taught. But the question is, why the sudden turning of stomachs at the sight of them?
While failing to watch your step, you lose your balance and stumble on your own feet, meeting the hard ground hands-first. You feel eyes on you for a short moment; just a mere second any stranger might spare to witness the unfortunate event before moving on with their tour.
That’s it, except for Jaemin, who is there to pull you up in a manner of utmost care, dusting off your clothes, taking you to a more secluded area with benches to rest on and asking you at least three times if you’re alright before you can snap out of your surprised state and let out a murmur of affirmation.
In the whirlwind of emotions rushing through your slightly clouded mind, you put the embarrassment of your fall aside. As Jaemin turns your hand around to inspect it, you realize that no amount of hand-holding numbs your reaction to the touch of his warm hands. 
And no amount of his exaggerated lovey-dovey gestures of affection could prepare you for the look of genuine worry over something so insignificant on his face.
“You fell on your hands, they must be scrapped… let’s get them under cold water, it would wash away the dirt too.” 
“It’s okay I can do it myself.” You back away from Jaemin, running to take care of it.
And that’s when you realize it.
Pretending to be Jaemin’s partner might be the biggest mistake of your life.
Because it’s starting to feel a little too real.
When you exit the bathroom, Jaemin is waiting for you outside, arms crossed with an unreadable expression on his face. The two of you continue your museum date as normal, nothing out of the ordinary happening other than Jaemin just being Jaemin. 
When lunchtime rolls around, Jaemin takes you into the museum café, refusing to let you pay for anything even though he bought the museum tickets as well. Struggle as much as you want, Jaemin was pretty stubborn.
You and Jaemin sit across from each other, nursing cups of hot chocolate. The quiet buzz of conversation around you blends with the faint classical music playing overhead, the calmness contrasting your otherwise chaotic day.
You’re still nursing your wounded pride (and scraped hands) from earlier. Jaemin’s fussing had been embarrassing, sure, but also... oddly touching. It’s been messing with your head ever since.
“You’re being quiet,” Jaemin says, breaking the silence. He stirs his drink and watches you with another unreadable expression. “Not complaining. Unusual for you.”
“Just tired,” you mutter, avoiding his gaze. “This whole thing is exhausting.”
“Yeah?” He leans back, “What part? The fake dating, or me?”
“Both.”
His laugh is soft, almost self-deprecating. “Fair.”
A moment passes, and you realize he’s studying you. Not with his usual playful smirk, but something more serious. It’s unsettling and scary, like he’s peeling back layers you didn’t even know you had.
“You know,” he starts, voice quieter now, “you’ve always hated me.”
Your head snaps up. “What? I don’t—”
“Don’t lie. I noticed.” he cuts in, but there’s no malice in his tone. “It’s fine. I get it. I mean, I’m Na Jaemin, right? The playboy. The guy who’s ‘probably slept with half the school.’” He uses his fingers to air quote the phrase, lips forming a bitter smile. “That’s what people say, isn’t it?”
You feel a pang of guilt. It’s exactly what you’ve always thought, always assumed about him.
He continues, eyes fixed on his drink. “Funny thing is, that wasn’t true at first. I wasn’t like this in high school. Sure, I was flirty, but it was harmless, y’know? Then one day, someone started a rumor about me. Said I hooked up with some senior at a party.” He shrugs. “It wasn’t true, but people believed it. And once the rumors started, they didn’t stop. Girls came up to me and I just... didn’t say no.”
You blink, caught off guard by the honesty in his voice. “Why didn’t you?”
“Why not?” His smile not breaking, “They already thought I was that guy. And honestly? It was easier to play the part than fight it. People liked the idea of me being the ‘fun, no-strings-attached’ guy. I became what they wanted.”
You’re quiet, the weight of his words settling heavily in your chest. All this time, you’d judged him without really knowing him. And now, sitting across from him, you realize how wrong you’d been.
“I’m sorry,” you say, the words slipping out before you can stop them.
“For what?”
“For... hating you, I guess. I just—” You hesitate, fidgeting with the edge of your sleeve, searching for the right words. “I’ve never liked the whole ‘playboy’ thing. It feels... shallow. And I don’t understand how people can be so casual about it.”
Jaemin’s gaze softens. “That’s because it’s not your thing. And that’s okay.”
Your eyes lit up with shock. You definitely weren’t expecting Jaemin to be this receptive towards your criticisms of him. “I guess I’ve always judged people like you because I don’t... get it. Sex and dating just seem so complicated and messy. I don’t want anything to do with it.”
Jaemin tilts his head, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. “You’re ace, right?”
You nod, surprised he remembered. He must’ve heard it somewhere, you barely told anyone except for your close friends. Others just assumed, which was fine by you.
“That’s... honestly kind of cool,” he says, leaning forward. “I mean it. You don’t have to deal with all this shit. Expectations, drama, people using you for what they want. You just... are. I envy that.”
“You do?” The idea feels absurd. Jaemin, envying you?
“Yeah.” He smiles, but there’s a hint of sadness in it. “I’ve spent so much time being what other people expect. Sometimes I don’t even know who I really am. But you? You’re just you. That’s... rare.”
His words catch you off guard, leaving a strange ache in your chest. You wonder if he’s just been hiding behind a mask this whole time. Who really was the Na Jaemin sitting right in front of you right now? “Well,” you say softly, “I think you’re more than what people say about you.”
He raises an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth twitching upward. “Careful, Y/N. That almost sounded like a compliment. You’re supposed to hate me.”
“Don’t let it go to your head,” you shoot back, but there’s no hostility in your tone.
For the first time, you see him for who he really is. Not Na Jaemin, the playboy, your rival… but just... Jaemin. And maybe, just maybe, you don’t hate him as much as you thought.
When the two of you finished your museum exploration, you found yourselves in the gift shop. The aisles were packed with trinkets, books, and stuffed animals, the kind of things that were charming but utterly unnecessary and overly expensive. You didn’t plan on buying anything, but Jaemin insisted he wanted to pick up something for a friend.
Shivering slightly, you rubbed your arms, trying to warm up in the chill from the air conditioning blowing down from the vent above.
“Cold?” Jaemin asked, his sharp eyes catching your sudden movement.
“Oh, just the A/C,” you replied quickly, waving him off, but you couldn’t stop the flush creeping over your cheeks.
“Do you want my coat?” He was already starting to remove his gray jacket, but you held up a hand.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” you said hastily. “It’ll be warmer outside.”
Jaemin paused, then smirked. “Aren’t you glad your friends dragged you to that party?” He asked, standing right beside you now, picking up a penguin from the stuffed animal bin. “Isn’t he cute?”
“Absolutely not,” you said, laughing despite yourself. “Though I’ll admit, this has been... fun. Even if the ‘fake dating’ part threw me for a loop. And yes, he’s super cute. But penguins aren’t my favorite.” 
He raised an eyebrow, eyes burning into you, as he turned the penguin over in his hands. “Who said it was fake?”
You blinked at him, unsure if you’d heard right. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He didn’t answer, just hummed and walked away, leaving you standing there with your arms crossed, frowning after him. What’s he playing at?
Trying to shake off the odd tension, you wandered to another shelf and found yourself staring at a tower of cell phone plushies. Your eyes landed on a bunny plush, adorable, with floppy ears, sparkling blue eyes, and a pink nose. You reached for it, but so did another hand.
“Oops—sorry,” you stammered, looking up to see Jaemin standing beside you again.
“Oh,” he said, his voice light, but his eyes were unreadable.
“I was just—”
“Which one did you want?” he asked, his tone suddenly serious.
“The bunny,” you admitted, pointing. “But it’s the last one, and if you wanted it—”
Before you could finish, he grabbed it.
“Actually, I did,” he said, pulling out his wallet and heading to the cashier.
You stood there, stunned and a little annoyed. Seriously? He’s that kind of guy?
As you stared forlornly at the remaining plushies: a raccoon, a squirrel, and a cat that weren’t nearly as cute. You sighed. It’s fine. It’s just a toy. But somehow, it still stung.
“Here.”
You turned to see Jaemin dangling the bunny plush in front of you, a playful grin on his face. “You—I thought you wanted it?” you said as you reached out to take it. The plush felt even softer than it looked.
“I did,” he said with a wink. “But I wanted to buy it for you.”
“I—thank you.” You stumbled over your words, suddenly feeling silly but also oddly happy. A big, goofy grin spread across your face as you hugged the bunny to your chest.
Jaemin chuckled softly. “You’re cute when you’re flustered, you know that?”
“Shut up,” you fired back, but your cheeks still burned.
You started to turn away, but Jaemin stopped you with a gentle tug on your sleeve. His expression was different now, serious, almost nervous, as he looked at you.
“Y/N,” he began, his voice quieter. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
Your stomach flipped. “What is it?”
“This... whole fake dating thing?” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking almost shy. That was strange in comparison to his usual confidence. “It wasn’t just about my ex, or shutting people up. I—I’ve been watching you for a while. I mean, not in a creepy way,” he added quickly, a faint blush creeping up his neck. “I just... I’ve always been interested in you. You’re smart, funny, and you don’t care about impressing anyone. You’re... different. In a good way.”
Oh you weren’t expecting that. You stared at him, your heart pounding in your chest. “Jaemin, I—”
“I know you have concerns,” he said, cutting you off gently. “About... your sexuality, and what people might think. But I don’t care about any of that. I don’t care what the world expects or what people say. I care about you. And I’m not asking you to change or be anything other than yourself. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
His words hung in the air, heavy with sincerity. You didn’t know what to say. You’d spent so long assuming Jaemin was just a shallow playboy, someone who could never understand you. But now, looking into his eyes, you realized how wrong you’d been. Jaemin understood you way too well. Enough to the point where he was hitting all the right points of reassurance in your heart.
“I don’t know if I can be what you’re looking for,” you whispered.
He smiled softly. “You already are.”
For a moment, the world around you faded. The noise of the gift shop, the bustle of other shoppers. It was just you and Jaemin, and the quiet, fragile connection that had grown between you.
Maybe this wasn’t fake after all.
You realized just how much he’d been hiding. Jaemin, the playboy everyone admired, the guy who never seemed to take anything seriously, was opening up to you in a way that was raw, even vulnerable.
“Honestly?” you whispered, clutching the bunny plush to your chest. “I never thought someone like you would understand... someone like me.”
He chuckled softly, the sound warm and reassuring. “I get that. I probably don’t fit the part, huh? But, Y/N, you’re incredible just as you are. I think it’s amazing that you know what you want and what you don’t want. I wish I’d figured that out sooner.”
You looked down, feeling way too emotional, “So, you really don’t... mind?”
Jaemin shook his head, his smile was gentle. “Not even a little. I’m here because I like you for who you are. You don’t need to be anyone else or change anything about yourself. I’m fully willing to love you. Just like this.”
His words settled over you, as warm and comforting as his coat might have been. The insecurities you’d held about relationships, about your identity, all the ways you feared you might not be enough for someone. Maybe never even find someone at all? They began to melt, replaced by a quiet sense of peace.
“So... if this isn’t fake, does that mean this is... this date is… real?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Jaemin smiled, reaching down to take your hand, his fingers intertwined with yours in a way that felt so natural it sent a shiver down your spine. “It’s as real as you want it to be. No pressure, no expectations. Just us, figuring this out together.”
Looking up at him, you felt something you hadn’t quite felt before. This wasn’t about conforming to anyone’s idea of love or romance. It was about connection. And standing there, surrounded by stuffed animals and museum souvenirs, you felt like you’d found something rare.
You squeezed his hand, a small smile breaking across your face. “Alright, Jaemin. Let’s give this a try. Just... don’t go stealing all the last plushies every time we’re out together, okay?”
He laughed, his grin brightening at your words. “Only if you agree to keep that bunny plush with you as a reminder.”
“Of what?”
“Of this moment. And of the fact that someone finds you absolutely perfect, exactly as you are.”
The two of you walked out of the gift shop hand in hand, leaving behind any doubts and stepping into something perfectly real.
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PERM TAGLIST ↬ @lyvhie @aquaphoenixz @galacticnct @ldh0000 @polarisjisung
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kakiastro · 1 year ago
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Jupiter + the type of husband you will have
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Hey yall! It literally took me a couple of weeks to make this post because I believe I’m experiencing burnout 😫 I think I’m going to take a mini break😅anyway, I hope you had a an amazing holiday!! Today I’m going to be talking about the traits and type of husband you will have based on your Jupiter.
Jupiter traditionally rules the husband. For those who are seeking a husband or husband-like partner, Jupiter is the planet to look at.
Look at your:
1. Jupiter sign
2. Jupiter degree
3. Jupiter house placement
4. Jupiter aspects
Also look at your Jupiter persona chart for deeper details as well!
Jupiter sign and house breakdowns:
Aries/1h
- may love to wear athletic brand outfits, have tattoos, prominent forehead, may have bangs or hair just cover their forehead, thick eyebrows, strong sex appeal to them
-their bold and confident
-may work in military, law enforcement, medical field dealing with lab work(blood draws, blood disease researcher), entrepreneurship and being the boss, welding or anything dealing with metals, butcher, working in a gun store.
-could be athletic or loves the gym
-loud or outgoing
-may lack impatience and tend to be impulsive
-always on the go, they have to always be doing something
-loves hot or spicy food
-may love debates and may come off as argumentative
-risk takers, they make quick decisions based on impulse. This can can either back fire or work in their favor LoL
Taurus/ 2h
-may have Venusian look to them so curly hair, smooth skin, very pretty. They may look like they can be a model, they look good on camera. Might have a mole, birth mark or a tattoo on their neck, something about their neck stands out. They’ll have an attractive voice
-money matters such as dealing with money by working in a bank. Working in the culinary industry so owning/working in a restaurant, working for a company that deals with food. Working in real estate or in the housing industry, working the arts such as fashion, painting.
-may be stubborn and like to take their time in doing things
-loves going out to eat especially to their favorite restaurants. If food is involved, they’re going!
-very sensual, loves to wear good smelling fragrances, dressing nice. These are the type of husbands that loves to buy flowers for you just because.
-loves physical touch such as holding hands, cuddling, arm around the shoulder types.
-very charming, may have a lot of friends but only a few close ones.
-loves passion and romance
-listening to lots of music
Gemini/3h
- you may meet them through a close friend, siblings, someone close to your neighborhood, library, school, they can be a former or current classmate
- they may have a unique laugh that catches your attention, may have smile that appears mischievous, may wear glasses for reading or prescriptions, messy hair do
-loves to talk as long as it’s airy and fun
-speaking of fun, they’re down for whatever, very outgoing person.
-may have lots of friends or know lots of people
-loves to read or write books or blogs
Cancer/4h
-may have a prominent chest, moon face that’s round or crescent shape, pouty lips, big round watery eyes. They may be wearing comfy clothing
-can come from a close knit family or they are family oriented. Can be close to his mom or has motherly figures in their life.
-may prefer to be at home
-may be proud of their ancestral roots and would want that displayed in there home
-loves home cooked meals
-very private person
Leo/5h
-Leo energy has a strong aura, they give A list celebrity energy so you may noticed them right away due to that, something about there hair may stand out to you. Likes dressing and looking good
-have a lighthearted warmness to them like their ruler the Sun
-may be well known, not necessarily famous (although they could be) but they have a lot of friends or they’re known for something.
-really artistic and love the arts such as theater, entertainment, dancing. They could also work in these fields
-may be intuned into there inner child, not necessarily childish but they know how to have fun
-may love children. Work with children or children is apart of their lives.
-may be overly dramatic about certain situations in their life
Virgo/6h
-may work in the medical field or is interested in medical stuff
-daily routines are important! These are the type of husbands who have a scheduled routine everyday lol
-may be workaholics, work is important to these hubbies. Now work doesn’t always have to mean their career/job either, working around the house, doing a project, fixing a car. They’re always doing some type of work!😅
-just like Gemini, virgoes love to read as well. The difference is Virgo loves to read things that has lots of detail. They need to know the who and why while Gemini just need the overall story and they can fill in the details themselves lol
-can be critical and judgy, mostly of themselves though, they can project on others if they’re not self aware.
-health is important to them! They may read up on different dietary recipes that can improve help.
-they either love animals to a fault or run away from them. There’s no in-between 😆
-could be managers or have a lot of co-workers as friends
Libra/7h
-very elegant and put together. May wear cologne or nice smelling body wash
-very charming indidvial, know how to swoon you
-flirtyyyyyy
-don’t ask them where they want to go eat because they don’t know😫it’s best to just remember their favorite food and go from there Lol
-may be business oriented or wants to own a business
-partnership is very important to them. Libra is a people person so close relationships are ideal
-doesn’t like unfairness at all. If you’ve been mistreated, they are the type to defend you if they feel like you’re being treated unfairly. They’re very much social justice warriors
-having some sort of balance in there life is key!
- may also like fashion things
-family may also be important
Scorpio/8h
-intesnse stare. You may feel intimidated by them at first but really are sweethearts when you get to know them
-there really private people, they don’t trust others easily at all. Once you have their trust then then you have there heart forever
-power dynamics with friends, family, lover may be themes
-they have sexual appeal
-they may have strong jealous tendencies. If they are self aware and put in the work to address these feelings then they are fine not if their the crazy jealous type, that’s not good and leave
-money may also be a theme, shared finances
-loves the color black
-may work in mortuary science, funerals, graveyard, taxidermist, finances, psychology, therapy, detective, forensics
Sagittarius/9h
-may be from a different culture, city or country from you
-may work in overseas, as a judge, historian, in a church, as a pilot/airline employee , cruise ship, writer, professor
-loves traveling, may have a lot of knowledge on different cultural backgrounds
-religious or is interested in religion. They could study theology
-these people love adventures, no matter how big or small it is the adventure is. Going to target can be an adventure because they’ll make it one 😅
-love reading books especially books that educational or something that broadens their minds to different ideals and ethics
-May have some good lucking legs 🦵. They may have a history of doing track or love running/jogging
Capricorn/10h
-there may be an age gap and it doesn’t have to be a huge one. Maybe a few years older. They can also be very mature or has a lot of life experience for someone their age.
-very ambitious, they don’t climb ladders, they climb mountains and will make it to the top every time
-respect and status is important to them. It doesn’t always mean fame status but status in a “I just want people to look up to me in a respectful way.” They may be managers or bosses, they can just carry that energy as well
-they may look put together, clean clothes that matches, hair groomed. They just look like they have their life together even if it’s currently a mess😅
-they have a jawline that was crafted by the Gods 🤌🏾
-family is important to them as well! Building a solid foundation that can be passed on to the next generation is a huge thing for them. They may be the patriarch of the family
-very close with their grandparents especially grandma. If their still alive and well, You’ll probably meet their granny before their parents
Aquarius/11h
-may have started off as acquaintances, then really good friends, not thinking much about dating until feelings starts to develope
-yall could of met while on a dating app.
-this is a cute, adorable, quirky, and weird husband. They may have different interest than you but that’s what you love about them!
-these partners are the type who will give you your space if you need it, they’ll actually encourage it!
-they may know lots of people and you’ll meet lots of new people through them.
-rules? What’s that? Lol they don’t mind breaking a few if they feel the need too. These people definitely live their life by the beat of their own drum.
-may be involved with humanitarian work, tech, science, astrology
Pisces/12h
-your connection my feel “divine” or like this person was handpicked for you specifically. There’s a spiritual connection between you two. You may dream a lot about each other.
-may also be from an unknown or foreign culture or country.
-water related things may be a theme such as the beach/swimming in the ocean, taking a cruise, kayaking, yacht, traveling to a water based city like Venice, Italy
-spiritually discussions can be part of your relationship
-creativify such as singing, writing songs or filming could be careers. Also being a healer like a spiritual teacher
-you may worship the ground they walk on and put them on a pedestal. Just try to make sure you don’t wear colored glasses and see them for who they are right now and not who you want them to be
-telepathic connection
Any married people here? Does some of this describe your hubby?
I’m not married yet but when I do, I’ll reblog this and let yall know 🫡
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wordbunch · 3 months ago
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oh, how unreasonable [Halbrand]
LONG A/N: I hope yall have lots of fun and feels while reading this, and I am living for any comments and impressions ♡ if it is slight ooc, I really don't care. If you don't consider Halbrand a warning in itself, then the only warning I have is occasionally suggestive conversation.
❗️this is essentialy Halbrand x my OC Díorien (she), who is a half-elf with the other half of her roots unknown, but there are no physical descriptions - feel free to consider it a reader insert. The only extra bit of knowledge is that she can use fire magic (hence multiple fire references), she is more-less one of the elves but not fully, and is very much on the fence about who to side with. A girl is struggling
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I wholeheartedly recommend these 2 songs for the mood ♡
“So it is true.” 
“What is?”
“That evil never sleeps?” Díorien’s face appeared in warm candlelight amid the dark room. Her eyes scanned the figure in front of her with equal parts disdain and intrigue.
“Ever so witty, my queen,” Halbrand cackled, positioned in front of the door of Díorien’s private chambers. “How could I sleep, knowing you are here, and not by my side in a realm of our own creation?”
Cautiously he began to approach her bed, thick darkness everywhere except for the cool glow of the moon through the large window above her headboard, and the candle in her hand she had lit seconds ago. Fitting. 
“What brings you here?” she inquired dryly, pretending with all her might that his presence in the dead of night wasn’t making her shiver from head to toe. Having just awoken abruptly, she needed a few moments to wrap her head around the situation and realize she was dressed only in a delicate, sheer nightgown with sheets bunched up around her waist and legs. Swallowing thickly, Díorien decided to just pretend she was dressed properly - however, she was convinced Halbrand could see right through her anyway. Somehow he was always able to. 
“What brings me here is…” he began, voice heavy with something inexplicable, “the fact that the most enchanting, strong, passionate woman in the world, does not want to partake in that world with me.”
“But how could I, Halbrand?” She defended herself, not fully convinced she stood behind her own words. The way his eyes pored over her vulnerable form in the candlelight pulled the very ground from beneath her feet. “Y-you want me to-”
“I want you to rule with me, I want you to be my other half, I want you to come with me somewhere you will be not cast aside, but worshipped.” All decorum aside, Halbrand sat on the edge of her bed, and he could see her swallow thickly. If he said that heat wasn’t overcoming his whole body in her presence, that would be a very transparent lie, since that usually was the effect that she had on him. And he knew that she knew about it very well. “They do not understand you. They do not drive you to grow greater, to aim for more - they do not see you the way that I see you, Díor.” He was sliding one hand slowly over the mattress towards Díorien’s hand which was tightly clutching the silky sheets. “I know how that feels, my starlight, because that is how they are to me as well. But not you. Not you. You know my mind like you have walked the very steps inside of it. And I - I see the greatness that burns within you, the flame that terrifies everyone else, except someone who has walked through fire before.” His voice was quiet and gruff, but with an edge of persistence.
“Halbrand-” she whispered, furrowed eyebrows reflecting her inner turmoil.
“When you say my name like that, I am willing to throw the rest of the world away and just live in you instead.” He interrupted her eagerly, but she cleared her throat, determined to continue.
but you’ve come to offer, i’m here to receive / your face is my gospel, your body my creed / bring me to your altar, drop me to my knees / the more i worship, the more i believe 
“You are asking me to betray my own kin-”
“And you would betray your own heart.”
His calloused hand found his way to her closed fist and wrapped around it. Had the windows not been open and graciously letting in a light breeze, Díorien would have combusted then and there. In spite of that, she allowed him to touch her. 
“Do I not make you feel better than any of them, my queen? Do I not make you feel euphoric, boundless? I find it hard to believe you have already forgotten how we relished in each other, away from any judgemental glare,” he pressed with a deceitful pout. His other hand found its way to her bare shoulder, his touch almost scathing in the crackling air.
“Even when I try to bury those memories, they come back all the stronger, and I tremble every time I feel the ghost of your lips on my body” she admitted earnestly, her eyes bearing a striking vulnerability. “I feel you even when I least wish to do so, but I do not believe you and your proposals and schemes.”
it’s not fair, oh, it’s not fair how much i love you / it’s not fair ‘cause you make me ache, you bastard
Halbrand sighed away a self-satisfied smile, composing himself before speaking up once again. “You would not be betraying any of them - I need you to establish a new order with me, I need you to save your beloved world with me. You would not be betraying anyone, quite the contrary, you would be their savior, and nobody would have any right to pass you any judgment.”
There were a few steady beats of silence, the only moving thing the meek, flickering flame of a single candle on the windowsill, and the light that it cast on all around it. 
“Do you speak of betrayal because you were conditioned to do so, or because you feel that way truly? You speak of your kin, but are they, really? What makes you anymore closely bound to any of them, than it does to me? Had you been so important to each other, you wouldn’t have been treated like some lesser-”
Díorien interrupted his barrage of questions before his voice could adopt an even more venomous tone than it just had.
“And what do you know of true feelings, of truth in any capacity?” She chuckled dryly, hoping to have finally caught him off guard. In that moment, the only perfectly true thing about her was the fact that she was holding onto her morality by a thread, weakening by the second. He knew too well exactly where to hit her, and how, and she was aware that she had entered a battle inevitably to be lost. 
“The way I feel with your hands on me is the only measure of truth I need. You are the very flame of my heart.” 
Whether her senses and sanity were failing, or was there something so genuine and frail in the way he delivered his confession, there was no way to tell. Their eyes met as an abundance of feelings grazed his facial expression. 
and if you asked me to, if you asked me, i would lose it all / like petals in a storm / ‘cause darling, i was born to press my head between your shoulder blades, at night when light is fading
The thread weakened to become next to nothing. Against her better judgment, Díorien reached out a warm hand to remove a stray curl that had fallen over Halbrand’s eyes. He himself was growing uncertain of what exactly he was holding onto. Perhaps it was just her existence, just her closeness, her overt ferocity and her inescapable radiance. He only knew he wanted more of it, all of it, until the end of all the ages of the world. 
“But if your plan for a newly established perfect harmony fails, what then, Halbrand?” Díorien’s tone was stiff yet hushed, but it was all false pretenses; those troubled eyes, unruly hair and towering height had broken through her guard one too many times already. She sat there, defeated, all but vibrating with things left unsaid, and the expectations of things yet to be heard. 
“We would still have one another,” he retorted with a pinch of desperation in his voice, and you would still have thousands… millions, under your merciful hand.” He touched her jawline, brushing over her lower lip with his thumb. “And me, merely a breath away from your lips.” Halbrand’s eyebrow twitched upwards ever so slightly; she would have missed it had she not been so familiar with almost all of his crevices and corners. “You would have tried saving the elves, saving Middle-earth, if that is necessary to still your conscience. But failure of my mission or not - in the end you still come out a winner. We do.” His hand found her trembling fingers, firmly bringing them to his lips, never ceasing to hold her gaze. 
“When you look at me like that,” she whispered, subconsciously leaning into his touch and toward his face, “I find myself failing to draw a single breath,” she finished shakily, mentally cursing herself for falling under his influence time and time again. Although she had aimed to hold her ground, she was walking a thin line between the right choice and the reckless one. But, oh, the reckless one had a smile which made her forget her own name, and the rasp in his voice drowned out even the sweetest elven melodies. She wasn’t walking a line - she was falling over it right into the strong arms of her ravishing, twisted enemy (or at least whom she was raised to believe was one). 
Halbrand offered her a devilish, partially relieved, grin as he pulled her onto his lap in one swift motion, twisted sheets and all; she drew in a sharp breath weaving both of her hands into his unruly hair. Forehead against forehead, they were now painfully aware of both of their strained breathing and the thrill that was palpable in the, until very recently still, air. Díorien eagerly renounced the last bits of her poise as soon as his face was buried in her tender neck, his beard deliciously scratching her skin. However, as soon as she let out a sweet breath of pleasure, Halbrand moved away to look into her face again.
“Is that a yes, my queen?” he whispered, looking up at her through his lashes, his hands firmly dug into her hips. 
“It is anything you want it to be, my king,” her answer was hurried, desperate, starving, merely a millisecond before she collided her lips with his. 
It didn’t take long before Halbrand maneuvered them so that he was hovering over the wide-eyed girl with fire inside her body and heart.  
“I think it is time I make you forget all those wretched little excuses you tried giving me, darling,” he murmured into her skin before hastily blowing out the candle.
oh, how, oh how unreasonable / how unreasonably in love i am with everything you do / i’ll spend my days so close to you / ‘cause if i’m stood here, then i’m stood here / and i’ll stand here / i’ll stand here with you.
♡♡♡
shoutout to my most beloved 💖💖💖 @queenmeriadoc @lady-of-imladris
and @entishramblings i know you're not a ROP girl, but perhaps the writing style will be right up your alley 🥰
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stevie-petey · 10 months ago
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episode two: trick or treat, freak
 “Why do you only ever care about me when I’m some kicked fucking puppy?” Steve’s words are vicious, and you flinch at his tone. “You know that’s not true,” “It’s not?” He scoffs at you. “Then explain what happened this summer.” “I…” You can’t.  Steve sees your reluctance to say anything and lets out a harsh laugh. “Yeah, whatever. Some real fucking friend you were.”
Summary: you and nancy have a bonding session in the library (kinda hot tbh), billy gives jonathan and steve a common cause to unite on: Protect Y/N, you're a chauffeur to a very sad steve harrington, and dustin uses will's trauma to his advantage.
Rating: general, slight cursing
Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, slight sexual harassment (billy corners reader and is gross), cursing, alcohol
Words: 7.9k
Before you swing in: hello ! new chapter, we've arrived at halloween !! i finally get to have a fun authors note comment: i crashed my car lol. i'm fine tho and i hope yall enjoy and like what ive done and changed a bit with this episode. i had fun coming up with costume ideas for the reader, i think the character fits her well :) and before i go: i start school next week, so updates will def be coming a bit slower after this. anyways, happy reading !
-
The Henderson house is pure chaos morning of Halloween. 
Dustin is running around the house, screaming about how his costume has to be absolutely perfect and that if you don’t hurry up with the jack-o-lantern pancakes then he’s going to just leave without eating breakfast. Meanwhile your mother is running after him, straightening his suit and tidying his hair. 
“The pancakes are almost done, my god.” You flip the last pancake, but in your rush the jack-o-lantern’s smile turns into more of a grimace, but hey, food is food. You quickly set Dustin’s plate down on the table and practically shove him into the seat. 
“Eat.”
“But my proton blaster–”
“Is on the steps, I’ll grab it. Eat, I want pictures with you.” You kiss the top of your brother’s head and then run over to grab his costume’s prop. 
“I’m thirteen now, I don’t need my sister doting on me–” Dustin complains, but then his eyes land on the mini Reese’s Pieces you’ve decorated his pancakes with and quickly changes his tone. “Oh! Candies! Yummy!”
You laugh at him and bring his backpack over. The Ghostbusters matching costume idea that boys have planned for today makes you want to just sweep them all into your arms and kiss their tiny little faces. They may be getting older with crushes and angsty feelings, but they’re still the same nerdy little boys you met when you were twelve. 
Dustin wolfs down his pancakes and your mom prepares her camera. You woke up earlier than usual this morning specifically so that you could make Dustin’s annual Halloween pancakes and then take pictures of him with his costume on. As soon as he’s done eating, you and your mom whisk him towards the fireplace for pictures. 
“Oh, I want to see those pearls!” Your mother squeals as she takes a million pictures of Dustin. When he smiles, she loses her mind. “Yeah! Lovely, I love it!”
You’re just as ecstatic as your mom. “Who you gonna call Dustin?”
“Ghostbusters!” He sings along, holding up his proton blaster with an even wider smile on his face. 
It’s a happy morning. 
Dustin puts on a show as he poses for your mom, and you even join in for some. Sure, you aren’t in costume, but who knows how many more mornings like these you have left? Dustin is getting older, all the boys are, so you plan on cherishing these mornings for as long as possible. 
You and Dustin are giggling as you now stand back to back, him holding his blaster and you holding up finger guns, and your mom is taking multiple final pictures when Jonathan arrives. He knocks on the door before letting himself in. When he sees you and Dustin posing, he starts loudly belting the Ghostbusters song. 
“God, bee. At least let my coffee kick in before you subject me to your horrible singing.” You playfully groan, grabbing your own backpack and pancakes to eat on the road. 
Jonathan ignores your teasing and ruffles Dustin’s hair. “Nice costume, bud.”
Dustin, seemingly still holding a grudge against the guy after your conversation from last night, slaps his hand away and glares at him. “Don’t mess up the hair.”
Your brother proceeds to stare Jonathan down, gives him an “I’m watching you” gesture, and then walks out the front door without any further words. You, Jonathan, and your mom all stand in the living room in varying states of emotions. You’re trying not to laugh at your brother’s antics, your mom is happily looking at the photos she took, and Jonathan is standing there in complete confusion. 
“What was that about?” He asks you, slightly hurt by Dustin’s rebuff. 
“Shhh,” you hand him a plate of pancakes and then walk towards the front door. “Let’s get to school, bee.”
– 
At school, the mullet guy from yesterday finds you at your locker as soon as Jonathan has walked away. The two of you had been running behind schedule, so you’d told Jonathan to head to first period so at least he’d be on time while you tried to find your history textbook. 
As you’re digging through your locker, the mullet guy stalks up behind you. 
“I never got your name,” he says with a breathy voice, standing way too close behind you. 
You straighten your back, but don’t turn around. You know that if you do, the guy will only get a kick out of having your face close to his. “You never asked.”
“So there’s some sass to you underneath all that sweetness.” His breath hits the back of your neck and you shiver, but in a way that makes you feel dirty and unclean. 
“What do you want?” You ask the guy, your fingers wrapping around the textbook that you’ve finally found. If needed, you’re sure it’ll make a handy weapon. It’s only you and the guy in the hallway. Everyone else has holed up in class and you’re now regretting sending Jonathan away. You feel trapped, vulnerable, and you hate it. 
Mullet man chuckles deeply, his voice reverberating against your back. “Nothing yet. Just thought I’d introduce myself to such a pretty face.” 
You don’t say anything, your fingers only tighten around your textbook. If he gets any closer, you’ll swing. 
Though you can’t see him, you can feel his eyes flicker to your textbook and he lets out another cruel laugh. “Loosen up, sweetheart, I won’t hurt ya.” You don’t move, and he seems to get another kick out of this. “My name is Billy. Remember that for me, alright?”
Finally Billy steps away from you and you slowly release all the tension that’s built up within you. You still don’t turn around, he hasn’t left yet, but your hands are shaking a bit and you feel unsteady. 
“Would you do me a favor, Billy?” Your voice is steady, there’s no trace of the fear within you.
“I’m listening,” Billy is practically purring and you want to gag at how much his cockiness oozes around you. 
You turn, now finally facing him, and slam your textbook against Billy’s chest. “Learn some fucking personal space.” 
Billy’s only reaction is a smile, which only makes you more uncomfortable, but you refuse to show him this. Instead, you square your shoulders and walk towards your first class. You’ve dealt with assholes in the past; you’ve known Steve Harrington since you were twelve. But Billy is different. 
You’re not sure if you want to find out just how different he is from Steve. 
– 
Another small highlight of your school year so far has been your study sessions in the library with Nancy resuming. The two of you had drifted apart this summer, you just rarely ever saw the girl in between your hectic work schedule and her dates with Steve, but from the first day of junior she’s helped you with your math equations and you’ve helped her with her english essays. 
It’s a good trade off and you’ve enjoyed spending time with the girl. Unlike last year, Jonathan doesn’t join anymore. He can’t be too close with her now that she’s back with Steve. So, it’s just you and her for an hour every day during study hall. It’s nice, if you’re being honest.
Today though there’s something off with Nancy. 
She’s been tapping her pencil on the table for the last few minutes. Right before you can politely ask her to stop, the tip of the pencil snaps in half. She sighs. “Shit,” 
“There’s a sharpener over by the window,” you point towards the general direction. “Sharpen your pencil before these equations officially end my life.”
Nancy laughs, excusing herself and walks over to the sharpener. 
You focus back on your homework, the equations swimming around in your brain. It’s not that you’re necessarily bad at math, but you’re no whiz at it either. You get lost in the practice problems, erasing and re-erasing frequently, and you don’t realize just how long Nancy has been gone until she returns. She sits down, and you’re about to make a horrible joke about how stupid it is to find x, when you notice how shaken Nancy looks. 
“Woah, hey.” You set your pencil down and turn your attention to Nancy. “Are you okay? You look upset.” 
Nancy looks towards one of the library’s private study rooms and you see Steve’s retreating figure. You gather that something’s happened between them, but it confuses you because they’ve been nothing but lovey dovey ever since they got back together. What could possibly cause strife between them? 
“C’mon, you can talk to me. I’m known for my fantastic advice.” You probe again, and this time Nancy lets out a soft chuckle. 
“It’s… complicated.” 
“Take all the time you need. I’ve been stuck on question five for like, twenty minutes now. Any distractions are welcomed.” 
Now Nancy lets out a genuine laugh and you find yourself laughing as well. The storminess behind her eyes from earlier has lessened, she looks more relaxed now. Once she’s done laughing, she takes a deep breath and starts from the beginning. “Steve and I have been having dinner with Barb’s parents.”
When Barb’s name leaves Nancy’s lips, you feel your stomach twist with guilt. Had you known this would be about Barb, you wouldn’t have pestered Nancy so much into speaking. You know how much she misses her best friend still, no one blames her. 
“Well that sounds nice,” you try to comfort. “I’m sure they appreciate your company.”
Nancy bites her lip and looks away from you. “They wouldn’t if they knew Steve and I killed Barb.”
Shock washes over you. “Can I ask for some context?”
“Steve and I… When I forced Barb to come to his stupid party with me, we–we left her alone that night. By the pool…” Nancy’s voice cracks, and you grab her hand to encourage her to keep going. “We went upstairs to have sex, and Barb–she didn’t want me to leave her alone but I–I did and–”
You remember the photos Jonathan took last year, specifically the one where Barb had been sitting all by herself along the pool’s edge. Behind her had been a shadowy figure, a monster you soon would learn was from an alternate dimension with an intent to kill. 
“You think Barb died because you left her alone to go have sex with Steve.” You finish for Nancy, her tears rendering her unable to say more. 
She nods, looking away again as more tears stream down her face. You feel horrible for her, knowing first hand just how cruelly guilt can eat away at someone. Jonathan doesn’t know this, but you still think you’re the reason Will disappeared last year. You were the one who left him alone that night. If you had been there, if you had dropped him off at the Byers’ doorstep, you’re sure that he would’ve never ended up facing the horrors that he did. 
As for Nancy, you understand everything she’s feeling and more. It isn’t fair how one simple choice, one moment of selfishness, can lead to such tragedy and pain. 
Cautiously, you ask Nancy a question. “Does Steve know about the guilt you feel?” 
“He knows, but he doesn’t understand.” Nancy’s voice laces with grief and bitterness. “He found me by the pencil sharpener. There was this girl, she looked so much like Barb and I just… I zoned out. I was stuck there, thinking about her, when he found me.” 
“Did he notice you were upset?”
“Of course he noticed. He’s Steve, I could shed a single tear and he’d be all over me like I’m some baby.” Nancy scoffs, which makes you frown. You’re not sure what’s so wrong with that, having someone so attuned to your emotions because they love you that deeply. 
You push aside your thoughts, however. “What happened, then?”
“We went into a study room and I snapped.” Nancy’s close to tears again. “I just… I want to tell Barb’s parents what really happened. They’re selling their house, Y/N. They’re selling their own home to afford this private detective who promised them he’d find out what happened to her. What–what kind of person would I be if I let my best friend’s parents go bankrupt for being worried about their only child?”
“Nancy…”
“And Steve, he just… He told me it was a bad idea, that–that our families could get hurt and all that bullshit, but what am I supposed to do? I’m trying to figure something out, to fix this, and Steve just wants to go to some stupid party and pretend everything is okay?” Nancy is almost shouting now, and you nervously look around to make sure you're not disturbing anyone. It’s still a library, after all.
Nancy takes a few seconds to collect herself, to steady her breathing and control her anger. You let her take all the time she needs, and when she seems calm enough, you speak. “I understand where you’re coming from and why you’re upset. What happened to Barb is despicable, but… Well, I also agree with Steve.” 
“Y/N–”
“No, okay. Listen for a second,” you pause, trying to figure out exactly how to say what you’re thinking. “I think Steve means well, he doesn’t have a malicious bone in that silly body. The Halloween party can be a good thing for you if you let it, a way to destress. You have to move on, you have to allow yourself to move on.”
Nancy tries to argue some more but you continue. “I understand your guilt better than anyone else, I was the one who lost Will that night. But we all signed those contracts, Nancy. If we told anyone what really happened to Barb… It wouldn’t be fair to everyone who gets hurt, all our family members, because we broke a legal oath. You understand that, right?”
“I understand, but it’s not fucking fair.” Nancy’s eyes have a determination in them that startles you. You’ve always known that she was fierce, but seeing the edge in her eyes almost scares you. She’s angry, more than you’ve ever seen her before. 
You sigh. “I know, I wish I could do more, but…”
Nancy nods, understanding that there’s not much else you guys can do. You hate to let her down like this, you know she needs to hear something else, to feel supported, but you don’t know what else to tell her. 
Steve’s right in his own way, and so is Nancy. 
“Can you at least come to the party tonight?” Nancy softly pleads. “It’s just, I’ll feel more comfortable with you there, like I’m less crazy… I mean, that is if you even want to come and–”
“Of course I’ll come, Nance.” You don’t even hesitate to promise her this, nor do you realize that you’ve just called her “Nance”. It slipped from your tongue naturally, as if solidifying your friendship with the girl. You hate parties and loud crowds, but if Nancy needs you there by her side, to hold her hand and remind her of how brave she is, then you’ll happily do so. 
Nancy sinks into her seat, relieved. “Thank you, I owe you one.”
“I’ll hold you to that, you know.”
Nancy throws a piece of paper at you and you dodge it, throwing your pencil at her in retaliation. The two of you break out into a fit of giggles until the librarian eventually snaps at you guys and reminds you to be quiet. 
You reluctantly get back to work, and as you’re writing down more complex equations, you notice that there’s still a far off look in Nancy’s eyes. You know that she’s still thinking about Barb, the guilt eating away at her, and you know that the topic is far from settled.
–  
Halloween is in full swing the second Jonathan drops you off at home from school. There’s already kids milling around up and down your block in an assortment of costumes, all squealing with joy as they collect their candy. 
“Meet you in two hours?” You ask Jonathan as you unbuckle your seatbelt. 
“Yeah, but remember that I’m not wearing a costume.”
“C’mon, bee! It’s Halloween, where’s your holiday spirit?”
Jonathan groans. “Nag at me all you want, I’m not dressing up. I will, however, offer to be your arm candy.” 
“That’s the spirit!” You kiss Jonathan’s cheek and run out of the car and straight into your house. You have two hours to wrap up goodie bags for the neighborhood kids and then get dressed in your costume. It’ll be a tight schedule, but luckily you’re off of work tonight. 
It takes you about an hour to assort all your gift bags, separating the boys’ bags from the local kids’ bags, and before you know it you’ve successfully hand packaged goodie bags for an entire army. Once you’re done, you run to your room and throw on your costume. The dress slips over your head and settles gently over you.
You stand in front of your mirror and smile. 
It’s perfect. 
You’re going as Princess Buttercup tonight for Halloween. You read the Princess Bride around the end of summer and quickly fell in love with Buttercup. You’re not sure if you fell in love with the character because you read the book right after pushing Steve away, or because you saw yourself in Buttercup, but you came to adore her. 
Buttercup may have been a bit ditzy, but she loved with everything within her, and with such a passion, that you couldn’t help but admire her. It was her love for others that ultimately drove the story further, and you think there’s something beautiful about that. 
The red dress fits perfectly around you and you grab the gold chain that will serve as your belt. Once you’ve secured it around yourself, you place Buttercup’s golden circlet around your head. The costume had been pricier than you would’ve preferred, but as you stand in front of the mirror, you truly do feel like a princess. 
Your bee necklace, a wonderful gift from Jonathan, catches light from your window and you smile, bringing your fingers up to the pendant. It’s the only jewelry you need.
“Y/N! Are you almost done? Will radioed that they’d be here soon.” Dustin pounds on your door. 
You fling the door open. “I’m done, I just need to put on some makeup.”
Your brother makes a face as he walks into your room and plops himself down onto the beanbag. “You own makeup?”
“Yes, dear brother. I’d wear it more often if I had the time, but between herding you around and my school assignments, I can’t.” You dig through your makeup bag, opting for just mascara and a shimmery pearl eyeshadow. You’ll put on your lipstick in the car to save some time. 
“This doesn’t have anything to do with Jonathan, does it?”
You roll your eyes at Dustin. “No, believe it or not I can choose to do things without the influence of others.”
“Hmm, alright. Hurry up though, Mike had this awesome plan to hit up every house with the big candy bars and–”
“Dustin!” You throw a pillow at the boy, shutting him up. “Shush so I can focus.”
He grumbles but remains silent, now watching as you put your makeup on. It’s been a while since you’ve last worn any, so you’re slower than usual. Just as you’re finishing up your mascara, a car honks outside. 
Dustin runs out the room and you quickly grab your lipstick and follow after him. You’re wearing your mother’s mary janes again and they pinch your feet as you run, but whatever. You feel pretty tonight, you’re somebody else for now, a princess free from any burdens and stress. 
Jonathan is standing outside his car, waiting for you, and when you see him you practically fling yourself in his arms. “You dressed as Westley!”
He spins you around a bit, his plastic sword hitting against his leg. “You wanted me to wear a costume, right?”
You nod, inspecting his costume with glee. He looks amazing, dressed in Westley’s iconic all black attire, his sword by his side, and a mask tied loosely around his neck. To anyone else, Jonathan would look like a regular guy with an affinity for black, but to you, he was dressed as your knight in shining armor. 
He’s the Westley to your Princess Buttercup. 
Jonathan kisses your knuckles. “Well then, as you wish.”
His words are smooth velvet against your skin, they warm you as the late October air encases you. As you wish, words that became their own I love you within the book. A promise, similar to the one Jonathan made you last year in the passenger seat of his car, pinkies intertwined. 
Something stirs within you, seeing Jonathan’s proud smirk on his face because he’s once again managed to surprise you, and the feeling is sickly sweet like syrup. It runs through you slowly, covering every inch of you, and you bask in it.
For now, he’s still yours. 
“Can we go now? You guys are gross.” Dustin calls from the car, annoyed. 
You and Jonathan spring apart in embarrassment. He laughs, rubs the back of his neck, and tells you, “You look beautiful, Y/N.”
“Why thank you,” you curtsy. “You look rather dashing yourself, good sir.”
“I wasn’t kidding. You look… you’re beautiful.” The sincerity in Jonathan’s voice cuts through you, it cuts through everything between you, and you can only smile. 
“Thanks, bee.” You try to keep your voice playful, light and airy as always. “Now, open my door like the brave hero you’re dressed as.” 
Jonathan opens your door with a bow, causing you to laugh. You’re sitting in the backseat with Dustin, Will is in the passenger seat, and once you’ve buckled up, Will spins around in his seat to talk to you as Jonathan starts the car.
“Do you think it’s lame that you and Jonathan trick-or-treat with us?
You blink. “What did I miss?”
“I think it’s kinda lame,” Dustin voices next to you, but he lets out a pained squeak after you’ve elbowed his ribs. 
Jonathan turns onto the main road and scoffs at the boys. “You think we’re lame?”
“No, but…” Will sinks into his seat, and you watch as he begins to fiddle with the strap of his bag. He’s nervous. “It’s not like Nancy’s coming to watch over Mike, you know?”
Jonathan’s silent, and you catch his eye in the rear view mirror. You know what he’s thinking: Will has been having even more problems in school, he’s sick of being babied, and yet here you guys are, babying him. 
You sigh. “Look, Will. We like trick-or-treating with you guys, we don’t go are your babysitters. We go because it’s fun and I get to enjoy free candy as a sixteen year old.” 
Will looks out the window and doesn’t acknowledge what you’ve said. You sigh again, knowing that nothing will appease him. He’s only allowed you to see a small portion of how much he’s struggled this year, but you can see his foundations crumbling. 
How is he expected to adapt if you and everyone around him refuse to let him do so?
You catch Jonathan’s eye again in the rear view mirror and he seems to be thinking the same thing. 
Mike and Lucas run out the Wheeler’s house as soon as you guys park in the driveway. Dustin immediately bolts out the door to greet them, obviously uncomfortable with all the tension, leaving you and Jonathan with Will.
Jonathan looks at you one last time and you nod your head in encouragement. He has to do this, he has to let Will grow on his own. 
“Hey, listen.” Jonathan says, stopping Will from leaving. “If I let you go on your own, you promise to stay in the neighborhood?”
Will’s face lights up. “Yeah! Yeah, totally.”
“And be back at Mike’s by 9:00.”
“9:30?”
You reach over and pat Will’s back. “Now you’re pushin’ it, buddy.”
“What Y/N said. Be back by 9:00.” Jonathan instructs, but there’s a fond smile on his face. “Deal?”
“Deal!”
The brothers shake on it and you watch them with a smile. Jonathan hands Will one of Bob’s cameras and makes a poor Dracula joke and you love these boys so much. You wave goodbye to Will as he quickly gets out of the car and runs over to his friends. There’s a new skip in his step, he’s happier than you’ve seen him in a while.
“Alright,” you crawl over the passenger seat and plop yourself in rather ungracefully. “I’d say that went well.”
“We made the right choice, right?”
“I hope so.”
Jonathan sighs and watches the kids, who have now started hitting each other with their candy bags. You flip down the windscreen and use the small mirror in it to apply your lipstick. When Jonathan sees what you’re doing, he does a double take.
“Wait, are you putting on lipstick?”
“Mhm,” you knit your brows together, focused. “We’re going to a party.”
“We are?”
“Nancy begged me to come, and we just left the boys to go trick-or-treating on their own, so what else are we supposed to do tonight?”
“Nancy begged you to come–”
You finish your lipstick and flick Jonathan’s nose to shut him up. “Stop asking so many questions and just start the car, doofus.”
– 
The Halloween party is in full swing by the time you and Jonathan arrive. There’s a bunch of drunk teens in an array of costumes, ranging from classic heroes to dumb movie references, and the music is so loud you could hear it while you were still five blocks away. 
Jonathan parks the car and looks around wearily. “Are we really doing this?”
“Unfortunately I hate disappointing people, so yeah. We are.”
“One day your people pleasing needs will get you in trouble.”
“I will stab you with your plastic sword.”
“So sweet to me,” Jonathan quips, which you roll your eyes at. 
As you’re walking to the front door, you hear a crowd chanting Billy’s name. You freeze, knowing it could only be that awful mullet guy from earlier, and quickly shove Jonathan inside the house. 
“Who’s Billy?” He asks, confused.
You shake your head. “Don’t worry about it, let’s try to find Nancy–”
“Nice costume.” A girl dressed in goth attire interrupts you, her eyes only on Jonathan. 
Oh great. Another girl interested in Jonathan. 
Jonathan looks between you and the girl. “Huh?” 
“Nice costume. Going as a goth with a sword?”
“Actually,” you step in front of Jonathan now, forcing the girl to acknowledge your presence. “We’re matching. He’s Westley, I’m Princess Buttercup. Do you like it?”
The goth girl rolls her eyes. “Yeah, totally.” She steps past you and faces Jonathan again. “I’m Samantha.”
Jonathan is again looking between you and the girl, this time with even more fear and confusion on his face, and you almost want to laugh at him in pity. He’s never had a girl so blatantly hit on him, it’s almost hilarious if you ignore the fact that you’re in love with him. 
You leave Jonathan to handle the situation himself, scanning the room for Nancy. When you finally spot her, your heart sinks. She’s dancing with Steve, who looks fucking criminally good in his costume. You’re not sure who he’s dressed as, but he puts his Raybans in his mouth and smirks at Nancy and suddenly you understand why so many girls whisper in the halls about his lips. 
Nancy looks even better, her white blouse accentuating her beauty even more. She’s dancing with her arms around Steve and now you suddenly really want a drink. Seems like they’ve made up, then. 
Right as you’re about to pull Jonathan away from that Samantha girl and call it quits for the night, defeated and pride wounded, you see Steve and Nancy begin to argue over by the punchbowl.
Shit. 
You head towards them, shoving past hoards of people who seem to refuse to move. Nancy sees you approaching and only seems to become more upset. Her movement is unsteady, her eyes droopy and glossed over, and even before you walk up to her you know she’s heavily drunk. She’s in a tug of war with Steve and a cup. It’s clear he’s trying to cut off her alcohol intake.
“Hey, Nancy is everything okay–” Your words are cut off as punch splashes all over her white blouse.
Everyone around the couple gasps, and you wince at all the attention. Everyone stares between you, Steve, and Nancy. You quickly find some napkins and begin blotting at her blouse, trying to get as much of the punch out of it, but she drunkenly bats you away. 
“Don’t need help,” she slurs, but you shush her. 
“I got it, why don’t we go get some water?”
Steve steps in front of you now, aware of the fact that everyone is still staring, and says his first words to you in months. “She’s my girlfriend, I’ll take care of her. Just… just go, Y/N.” 
He dismisses you with a wave and you feel hurt wash over you. He hadn’t even spared you a single glance, he just treated you like some annoying fly in his way. You watch, defeated, as Steve guides Nancy to a room and you’re left alone at a party you hadn’t even wanted to go to in the first place. 
How fun. 
You crumble up one of the napkins in your hand and will away your anger. You don’t deserve to feel angry at Steve’s actions, you’re the one who was so dismissive of him in the first place. He’s just following along, doing what you’ve forced him to do. 
As you’re lost in thought, Billy corners you in the kitchen.
“We meet again, sweetheart.” His breath reeks of alcohol and you cringe, the smell burning your nose. 
“Didn’t I tell you to learn some goddamn personal space?” 
Billy laughs dryly, stepping forward every time you take a step back. Too late, you realize what he’s doing. Before you can stop it, he has your back pressed against a nearby wall. “Now where’s the fun in that?”
You look around, but everyone who had been in the kitchen earlier seems to have left or are far too drunk to realize what’s happening. Billy is peering over you and every part of you wants to run away, to cower. You’ve never been able to handle aggressive men well, no matter how much of a front you put on around Lonnie, you always trembled when he was near. 
Billy is no different, and he sees your unease. “Aw, is the princess nervous?”
“I’m surprised Max taught you what a princess looks like.”
At the mention of Max’s name, Billy’s cocky grin slips. Confusion masks his face now, making him appear more human than obnoxiously handsome. “So you know my little sister?”
You try to shove past him, but Billy plants his feet down and places both arms against the wall, trapping you. He’s surrounded you, he wants a reaction out of you. Taking a deep breath, you force yourself to steady your heartbeat and appear indifferent. 
“I have my ways,” you shrug, but your heartbeat still pounds rapidly. 
Billy raises an eyebrow. “Pretty and intelligent. Why, look at you. I’m impressed, and yet I still don’t know your name.”
You try again to move, but Billy leans his head down and brings his lips to your ear to whisper, “I’ll beg for it, if you want me to.”
“Get off–” He’s too close. He’s too fucking close and his lips against your ear makes you want to throw up, you don’t like this and you feel so fucking pathetic being cornered by such an egotistical asshole. 
“Tell me your name, and I’ll go.” There’s a smile in Billy’s voice, you can hear it without even having to look, and it enrages you. You fucking hate men like him. 
“Just get the fuck off of me–” You’ve closed your eyes now as you shove harshly against his chest.
Suddenly there’s a thud, a loud “oomph”, and a collective gasp from onlookers at the party. Your hands meet the air, there’s now no one there to push against. Slowly, open your eyes. There, standing in front of you, is Steve holding a very angry Jonathan back while Billy is on the ground.
Jonathan yanks his arm free from Steve and stands over Billy, who is laying on the ground with yet another unnerving smile on his face. Your friend shakes his fist out, which you now see is red, Billy’s face showcases a matching mark. “She told you to get off of her.” 
A silence falls over the crowd.
Billy slowly stands up, wipes himself off, and then takes a bow. “Not bad, loner boy.”
Jonathan tries to step closer to him, but Steve grabs his shirt and shakes his head. “He’s not worth it, man.” 
“And what do you know about worth, Harrington?” Billy chuckles, now practically in Steve’s face. “Where’s that little girlfriend of yours? You should go ask her what she thinks you’re worth.” 
Steve’s face hardens, but you can see dried tears in his eyes. Seeing him about to crumble, you step between the boys. “Enough.”
They look at you, but you ignore them and then wave to the crowd of people still watching. “Show’s over! Go back to drinking away your sorry fucking lives.”
Jonathan pulls you close to him. “Bug, are you okay? Did he hurt you? We need to go home, I’ll bake you brownies and we can just–”
Jonathan’s concerned rambling is enough to make you smile, albeit faintly. “I’m fine, bee.”
Billy observes the interaction, he notices how Steve’s eyes flicker between your interlocked hands with Jonathan and the way your hair frames your pretty face. He sees it all, and he understands exactly what’s happening here. 
“Oh, Harrington.” Billy can’t wait to see what happens next. “You’re fucked.”
Steve watches as Billy leaves, confused by his words but too tired to think much of them. He’s had the worst fucking night of his life. His girlfriend just told him she doesn’t love him, then he came outside to see Billy pressing himself against you like some fucking creep. He hadn’t even gotten to help you, Jonathan had beaten him to it. All Steve could do was hold the guy back afterwards. 
Now Jonathan is holding your hands and whispering comforting words to you and you’re dressed in Steve’s favorite color, your lips an even prettier red, you’re wearing a goddamn tiara on your head like the princess you truly are, and Steve’s had just about enough of tonight. 
“I’m glad you’re okay, Y/N.” Steve tells you tiredly. He then turns to Jonathan. “Uh, Nance and I sorta… Can you just, give her a ride home? She doesn’t…”
Steve’s words catch in his throat and you grab his hand before you can stop yourself. “He’ll take her, won’t you, Jonathan?”
Jonathan stumbles over his words. “Sure, uh. Yeah, I can do that… What about you, though?”
You think about your conversation with Nancy earlier, how she seemed so upset with Steve, and how not even ten minutes ago they’d been fighting over by the punchbowl. There’s a hurt between them, one you think may be too big to patch up with just one conversation, but Jonathan doesn’t know all of this. 
“I’ll drive Steve home.”
Both boys stare at you like you’re insane, and honestly? You can’t blame them. 
You haven’t spoken to Steve in months, and Jonathan knows this better than anyone. 
“Y/N,” Steve lowers his voice. “I haven’t had anything to drink, there’s no need–”
“Too bad. I’m taking you home. Jonathan, go find Nancy and make sure she gets back okay.”
Jonathan and Steve try to argue, but you yank Steve’s hand and make him come with you. It’s long past time the two of you had a talk, anyways.
– 
When you exit the house, the weight of everything that’s just happened catches up to you. Your skin still feels raw, Billy’s presence lingering on you. Steve’s hand is warm in yours, but he isn’t holding on the way you secretly hoped he would. Jonathan’s confused and concerned eyes remain in the back of your mind, the image of him standing alone in the party makes you feel guilty. 
But you have to do this. You’re tired of being a coward.
Steve is silent as he guides you to his car. He’s parked pretty far, which you hadn’t been expecting. “What, do you not get a special parking spot as King Steve?”
He ignores your attempt at a joke and instead drops your hand. 
Okay. You deserved that. 
When you get to his car, Steve throws you the keys and silently gets into the passenger seat. You inhale, willing this to end well, and get in the driver’s seat. You start the car and the engine warms your fingertips. 
You start to drive. 
Steve is looking out the window, and you’ve never seen him appear so small. He’s closed into himself, his shoulders are hunched and his carefree smile from earlier is gone. 
“Not to make this awkward, but I kinda don’t know where you live.” You break the silence.
“Make a left up here.”
“Do you want to talk about what happened tonight–”
“Why do you only ever care about me when I’m some kicked fucking puppy?”
Steve’s words are vicious, and you flinch at his tone. “You know that’s not true,”
“It’s not?” He scoffs at you. “Then explain what happened this summer.”
“I…” You can’t. 
Steve sees your reluctance to say anything and lets out a harsh laugh. “Yeah, whatever. Some real fucking friend you were.”
You take a shaky breath. You knew this would be hard, but it still hurts more than you thought it would’ve. While you can’t tell Steve everything, you can offer him a half truth. It’s all you can afford, and it isn’t nearly half of what he deserves, but it’s all you can do. “I got scared.”
Your confession causes Steve to turn to you. “Scared?”
“Yeah, scared.”
“Gee, Y/N. That really explains a ton.”
You’re losing him again, so you offer him more. “I’m sorry, Steve. I really am. It’s just… I got scared, I’ve never been good at letting people in. I know it doesn’t excuse my actions, and you didn’t deserve any of it, but you just… You scared me.”
Steve is silent again, only mumbling a quiet, “Turn right after this light.”
“Look,” you push down your fear, you need him to hear you. “You came crashing into my life in such a violent way, and it became the best goddamn thing that happened to me. There you were, spending every day at my job just to talk to me. You asked me questions about myself and noticed things no one else had before and I just… I couldn’t do it.”
You look over at Steve and soften your voice, putting every ounce of your guilt and sincerity into your words. “I missed you.”
“Missed?” There’s something in Steve’s voice that you can’t quite decipher, it’s almost too delicate to examine. 
“Miss. I miss you,” you correct, and it takes everything within you not to confess more. To tell him you miss how his eyes turn a warm toffee in the late afternoon light, that you miss his obsession with his mom’s banana bread and that you have a recipe at home that you never got to make for him. You almost tell him that even though you pulled yourself away, you can’t seem to separate him from you. He’s everywhere. 
But what you can’t tell Steve, what would break you if he ever found out, is that you’ve come to love how he’s everywhere.
Steve is silent, and you swallow down your tears. It wasn’t enough, but at least you tried. 
As you turn into his driveway, Steve finally speaks. “All my life, all I’ve ever wanted was for people to like me.”
“Steve…”
“And every time I think someone finally likes me, I’m wrong. They leave me. I mean, you left me without a fucking word, Nancy lied about loving me, and my bullshit friends at school have replaced me with Billy.” 
Nancy lied about loving him?
Steve looks down at his hands, his eyelashes are wet with fresh tears. “I don’t know what I keep doing wrong.” 
You throw yourself across the car’s console and wrap yourself around the boy. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”
Steve places one arm around you, then slowly he places his other, and for the first time in months you’re finally back in his arms. He’s surrounded in you again, and he never, ever wants to let you go. 
“You won’t leave me again?”
Steve asks this so softly, as if too scared to bring the words into the light and risk them scaring you away. You tighten your arms around him and bury your nose into his neck, his cologne making your brain dizzy. “Never. 
And it’s enough for now. 
The pieces settle between you and Steve. Something clicks into place and you know that he feels it, too. He tightens his own arms around you, draws small circles against your back, and you stay like that for what feels like hours. 
Eventually the two of you break apart and head into his house. He offers you something warm to drink, but you decline. It’s late, you should be heading home soon. You ask Steve where his phone is and then call Jonathan, telling him to come get you from Steve’s.
Jonathan doesn’t ask any questions, his own voice sounding off on the phone. You know that tomorrow you’ll have to explain to him what happened with Steve, and he’ll have to explain what’s happened with Nancy. But tonight, you both settle on ignoring the topic for now. 
Steve waits with you downstairs for Jonathan. 
“If we’re going to be friends again, then I demand my nickname.” 
You look up at the boy and laugh. “What if I told you I still haven’t figured it out yet?”
“Can you at least give me a hint?” Steve bats his eyelashes at you and you shove him away with another laugh.
“Hm,” you think for a moment, reveling in the simplicity between you two again. “It’s lovely. That’s all I can say.”
Steve makes a face. “Lovely? That’s all I get?”
“Mhm.” You poke his face. “For now, please just trust that I’ll stay.”
Steve looks away for a moment, and you admire his lovely side profile, before he finally seems to settle on his thoughts. “Fine, but I expect some type of baked good every day from here on out.”
“Deal.” You raise your pinky and offer it to Steve, who smiles and shakes his head, but wraps his own pinky around yours.
Steve’s eyes are still red, from exhaustion and heartbreak, and yours are probably no better. You know there’s so much the two of you have to face tomorrow morning, to talk about and deal with. Nancy, Jonathan, Billy. But for now, Steve’s pinky is around yours and you couldn’t ask for a better end to your night. 
It’s a start.
It’s all you could’ve asked for. 
Jonathan arrives later and waits in the car, seeming to sense that you want some privacy as you say goodbye to Steve. 
“That’s my ride.” You nudge him. “Oh, don’t think I forgot about the Nancy thing. We’ll talk about that tomorrow.”
“What–”
“We’re friends again and I nag all my friends about their emotions. You were spared last year, but this year? Buckle up, buddy.”
Steve lets out a tired laugh. “Do I have to sign another contract?”
“Nah, you just have to trust me.”
“I do.” He says, no ounce of hesitation. 
You squeeze his hand. “Then that’s all I need. Goodnight, Steve. Get some rest.”
Steve nods and watches as you walk towards Jonathan’s car. He stays outside for a while, long after the car has faded in the distance. The cold air makes him shiver, but after everything that’s happened tonight, he welcomes it. His mind is spinning, he’s not sure if he feels more heartbreak or relief, but he decides he doesn’t care. 
For now, he’s content. 
Now that he has you in his life again, no matter what happens between him and Nancy, he knows he’ll get through it with you holding his hand. 
– 
The drive home is quiet. Both you and Jonathan seem to be lost in your own thoughts. When you get to your house, you simply tell your friend, “Tomorrow. We’ll talk about it all tomorrow,”
Jonathan nods, his eyes as tired as yours. “Tomorrow.”
You walk inside your house and notice all the lights off. You’re home later than you originally planned, your mom must be asleep already. You kick off your shoes and sigh tiredly. Tonight has exhausted you. 
However, you feel bad about skipping out on the boys, so you walk towards Dustin’s room and quietly knock on the door to apologize. After a few knocks, Dustin cracks his door open. “Yes?”
“Hey, just wanted to ask how tonight…” You notice Dustin’s stance, how he seems to almost be trying to block your view of something. “Is everything alright?”
Your brother quickly repositions himself. “Fine! Nothin’ to see here!”
He’s definitely acting suspicious. 
“Open the door, show me what’s inside.”
You go to shove your way in, but Dustin scrambles and ends up shouting, “Will had another episode tonight!
“What?” You freeze. 
Dustin lets out a breath of relief. He knew using Will’s episode would be a good distraction from what he has in his room. “Will, he had another episode. He’s fine, though… Just thought you should know.”
“Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”
“Actually,” Dustin lets out a yawn. “I’m kinda tired. Ya know, trick-or-treating is hard work. Can we just call it a night and talk about it tomorrow?”
“I mean, I guess?” Your list of things you need to talk about tomorrow keeps growing. 
“Sweet! Goodnight, Y/N!” And with that, Dustin slams his door in your face. He presses his back pressed against his door as he steadies his heartbeat. That was close, too close. After a couple seconds, he walks over to his turtle’s tank and greets Dart again. “Sorry buddy, had to get Y/N away. She’d freak if she found out about you.”
Dart lets out a small screech in response. 
“Wonder how long I can keep this from her.”
Meanwhile, you stand in the hall for a moment, completely bewildered as to what’s just happened. It feels like you missed a few important details. There’s something happening, but you have no idea what.
You go to your room and make a plan. Tomorrow, you’ll order a code blue with Dustin and demand information. For now, all you can do is get ready for bed and hope that whatever he’s hiding, it isn’t as monumental as El had been. 
Tonight, you go to bed thinking of Nancy and Steve, worried about them both.
-
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rangerbarbz · 23 days ago
Text
Professor Pines pt. 2
Author’s note: YALL RAHHHH I MADE THE HIGHEST GRADE IN THE CLASS ON ONE OF MY ZOOLOGY FINALS LETS GOOOOOO anyways things are slowing down for me other than i am moving into my own place!! Im so excited <3 I hope yall enjoy this!! (I just want to apologize for me nerding out over birds in this chapter) 
Summary: This is just a random day in the first week that Ford and the reader are spending in east Tennessee. They are going bird watching ayyyy 
May 21st 
You leaned over your field notebook, trying to recreate the beautiful foliage you had seen on a hike with Ford the day before. Before trying to find any mysterious creatures that lurked in the Appalachian, Ford had suggested that you both get acquainted with the area you would be studying in. This way you would be able to fully understand the habitat this cryptid called home and any adaptations it developed to flourish there. You didn’t mind it whatsoever. Wildlife had always been something you were interested in, and Ford made it so damn fun. It was a shame you never had him before as a professor. He would be one hell of a lecturer. Despite having the reputation of being an introvert, he came to life when he got to speak about his passion: science. 
You certainly weren’t as gifted in the art department as Ford was, but you were determined to finish this drawing of a flower if it was the last thing you did. You bit the end of your indigo coloring pencil as you examined your illustration. 
“Needs more purple,” you mumbled, grabbing your violet pencil and drawing streaks over the petals. You hummed contentedly. “There we go.”
“Very nice, Y/N,” Ford complimented. You didn’t know he was bent down looking over your shoulder, observing your artistic process. 
“Jesus!” you yelped, knee hitting the underside of your desk. Your colored pencils began to roll onto the floor beside you. “You scared me,” you said through laughing. 
“I seem to be good at doing that,” Ford replied jokingly. He kneeled beside you, his face now eye level with your lap. Out of your view, his eyes flickered at your plush thighs as he stood back up. He placed your pencils beside your notebook and placed a hand on the back of your swivel chair. 
He pointed to your drawing. “Is that the Bachelor’s Button we saw yesterday?” 
You smiled. “Yes, it is! How did I do?” You turned to him as he read the notes and labels that were littered around the page. 
“Looks just like it,” he answered, grinning at you. 
“Why, thank you, Ford.” You closed your notebook and turned towards him, still seated. He was now leaning against the oak drawers of the desk, his hands flat on the surface behind him. “What do you have planned today?” 
“I’m glad you asked!” He removed his journal tucked into a pocket inside his jacket and flipped through the pages. He landed on a page that had nothing on it besides the word “Birds” written in his loopy scrawl. “I thought we’d go bird watching today! I’m a little rusty on class Aves, so I thought we’d go together and see what we find.”
Yes! I would love to! Let me just-” You leaned over to the bottom drawer where Ford was standing. The drawer was shielded by his broad legs. 
“Oh, excuse me!” Ford apologized. He stepped out of the way. You pulled out a pair of binoculars and a guide for bird identifying. 
“Alright, I’m ready.” You stood up quickly from your chair. “Lead the way, Pines,” you said faux authoritatively.
He laughed. “Yes ma’am.” 
You found yourself walking down a trail where the grass had been patted down by others who had walked on it before. Trees grew on either side of you and bushes were scattered throughout the forest. It was quite peaceful. You and Ford had settled on a comfortable silence as you looked to the branches for birds. You were both trying to walk softly to avoid any twigs or leaves crunching. This came surprisingly easy to Ford despite being the tall, broad man that he is. You eventually stopped at a spot behind a shrub that had been covered in vines to gaze across an open area. 
“This should be good enough,” Ford said, placing his bag on the ground. He brought his binoculars to his eyes just as you did. “Keep an eye out for anything…unusual. You never know what you’ll find.” 
You chuckled. “Got that right.” You then turned to your left to search for any bright patches of colors that could be songbirds. After about a minute of not seeing anything, Ford brought your attention his way. 
“Look! Do you know what that is, Y/N?” he asked quietly, pointing upwards. You quickly pivoted on your feet and moved closer to him, scanning the trees with your binoculars. 
“I don’t quite see it,” you murmured, still looking for the bird in the wrong direction. 
“Here.” Ford then shifted behind you gently touching your elbows and lifting your arms into the line of sight of the bird. Your breath hitched in your throat at the contact. His fingertips were rough compared to the soft flesh of your arms. He leaned next to your ear and pointed once again, facing the sky. 
“Do you see it?” he whispered. You felt your face grow warm at the current proximity. His voice was so low and gravelly in your ear. You suddenly saw the bird he had been talking about. It was black, white, and had a bright red splotch across its chest. 
“Oh, I see it!” you exclaimed. “That’s a, uh,” you snapped your fingers, “a Rose-Breasted Grosbeak.” 
Ford smiled warmly at you. “That it is.” 
You spent an extra hour and a half taking in the scenery around you, continuing to find even more birds. It was a truly beautiful day for it. The sun was even shining just right on Ford to accentuate the silver in his hair. That’s when you remembered something. 
You then pulled a disposable camera out of your back pocket. “Ford, look at me,” you instructed, positioning the camera in front of your eye. 
“What are you doing?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow at you. 
“Taking a picture of you. Don’t think you can escape entering my scrapbook. Now smile.” He laughed in response to that, giving you a perfectly authentic grin. 
“That reminds me of my great niece. She loves scrapbooking. You’ll have to meet her one day.” He began to pick up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. “You would get along swimmingly.” 
You giggled. “I would love that,” you responded, also picking up your own bag and putting your binoculars in it. 
You began to walk back down the trail together, recapping all of what you saw today when you spotted a raspberry bush. “Hell yes,” you said, striding over to the bush. “You want a snack, Ford?” You started to pick the berries off the plant. 
“I’m alright, but thank you,” he responded, waiting for you to get done harvesting. You walked back over to him and began to bite a berry in half. Unfortunately, this was an especially juicy one. It busted and left a red streak dribbling down your chin. 
“Dammit,” you grumbled, about to wipe your mouth with your sleeve. 
Ford frowned at you. “No, don’t ruin your shirt like that. Here let me.” His hand gently cradled the back of your head as he took the bottom of his shirt and brought it to your chin. Your eyes widened at the action and the fact you could now see Ford’s midsection. He had a muscular belly with just a little bit of pudge and a graying happy trail. Oh my God. 
His cotton covered thumb swiped below your lip, removing the juice that was there. He wasn’t looking in your eyes but instead focusing on the task at hand. His hand left the back of your head as he dropped his shirt.
“There we go,” he grinned, eyes crinkling at you. “Now, I’m the dirty one.” You knew your face had to be as red as the berry you just ate, but he didn’t mention it. It was such an innocent act of kindness, but the way you were feeling was far from innocent.
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