#bUT I STILL GOT A STROKE
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you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier
#xmen#mcu#xmen movies#xmen first class#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous#i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself#in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society#sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM#and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that#NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair#for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY#the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig#i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented#anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik#genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show#more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day#bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days
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man... we are in college… if u can’t get ur shit together and do your portion of a group project an HOUR BEFORE ITS DUE…… i don’t wanna hear it.
#‘i’ve been dealing w midterms and personal stuff’#I WENT HOME TJIS WEEKEND TO FIND HURRICANE DAMAGE#MY GRANDMOTHERS CANCER IS BACK FOR TJE THIRD TIME#AND MY GRANDFATHER HAD A STROKE.#AND I STILL GOT MY SHIT DONE#DO NOT TALK TO MEEEEEEEEE#RAGHHHHHHHH 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕#off my rocker
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horizontober 2023 | 18: tarot
#horizontober2023#horizon forbidden west#hfw#hfwbs#aloy#pls don't come at me if this isn't a good interpretation of this tarot card bc i've never studied tarot T_T#but i looked it up and this is the one that spoke to me (that i thought i'd be able to do in photomode lol)#i actually got pretty into designing the border but it needs a lot more work and then i realized i saved my wip as a flattened image >.<#so....... all my layers are gone. fuck me.#still! i can recreate it without too much trouble (the pattern is an svg in inkscape)#and my quest to make svgs of the whole alphabet imitating the logo 'brushstrokes' on the horizon font continues#i think i've done most letters by now? just missing like q x y z and a few others#i also have a few variants (esp r/h/n) with different ascenders/descenders and some with the gaps in the vertical strokes#if anyone wants a word/title you're welcome to ask me and i'll see what i can do if i have time!
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Look at that smile! 🥰
@barbieaemond @just-some-random-blogger
#gwayne hightower#freddie fox#broken by war#but still got that big smile#🥰🥰🥰#i just want to give him cuddles#and stroke his hair
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it’s break week.
#shih’s drafts#yeah yeah it’s already been rendered#i still think it’s got a different feel to the csp version#trick of the pen stroke. (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧
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I MISS SR1/SR2 I JUST WANNA GO BACK TO STILWATERRR
#suddenly got hit w a pang of. idk. longing. we’re in that late summer/early fall time where#i’m filled w an indescribable loneliness and nostalgia for times gone by. and i think stilwater captures that feeling so well.#perpetually trapped in 2006-2011. graphics staying as they are. characters we don’t see again#feels like home in so many ways. and perhaps fitting that the characters cannot return to the past they knew#‘‘are you having a stroke’’ no i just don’t feel like working.#also just got hit w a pang of wow i can’t believe that’s the direction they went w the later games#also i still need to edit my pinned. this weekend for sure.
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Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me
#i still cant believe how much this new opening theme goes off.... DREAM SAVE ALL OF US 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH 💥💥💥💥💥💥#wait a second. the robot attacked 200 years ago. the void century was 800 years ago no????? what#oh see it was made 900 years ago.... but why did it attack 200 years ago then.... what happened#it is still so funny how they made evegapunk einstein but with some cunty long legs#200 years ago they gave rights to the gyojin!!! i see i see ✍️✍️also i still wonder why law and kuma have similar hat and pants designs#like there is NO WAY that much similarity isnt done on purpose. NO FUCKING WAY!!! I NEED ANSWERS!!!#are they annihliating cp ships akdhakskd yeah vegapunk letsgo#also the opening song is about dreams and the end one is about luffy reaching shanks...... havent got a clue why but there it is#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1098#also is lucci named lucci bc it kinda sounds like luffy. SERAPHIM KUMA HAS HIS DEVIL FRUIT???? vegapunk could only make zoan fruits????#also wdym when cp0 acts it means its some historic event. lucci is like 25. where are the experienced people here#sentomaru works for vegapunk??? maybe i forgor about this tbh also do theu have a doffy seraphim??? the fact they have animal names....#stussy letting kaku get hurt akdhsjsn oh atlas has lamb ears..... and lucci said she is is prey... no..... the foresahdowing :(#lucci you fucked up she just gave luffy food... that a death sentence look what happened to kaido#episode 1099#<- oh my god btw. god. jesus.#why is akainu telling the cp0 what to do or thinks he can do that... thats the world gov... also thinkng about how garp should fight him#and not luffy.... because of ace you know... i still wonder how did sengoku know who ace's father was... there is only one man who knew....#everyone trying to stop them from fighting ajdhsksjks two rabid dogs fr#LUFFY TAKING OFF HIS JACKET WHEN LUCCI ASKS FOR HIS WANTED SIGN!!!! GO OFF KING!!!! SLAY!!! THE CREW SAW HIM!!! FINALLY!!!#i have been smiling since he started the transformation this is so sick...... i have got a case of the luffy brain#zoan fruits steal the personality of the user when they awaken ✍️✍️ luffy???? nami being the only one who saw gear 5 <3 twins manifesto#robin being so shook about luffy being a god ajdbjansk wdym devil fruits exist because people wish for them. fairy magic real????#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE FROM ALTERNATE REALITIES WHERE SOMEONE DREAMT ABOUT THEM??? DOES HE TRAVEL THRU REALITIES FOR THEM???#jinbe has been making this face 😧 every episode three times it is amazing ajdhaksnsk poor man... now he sees a kid angel version of himself#after seeing hia captain turn into a god... he is gonna get a stroke OMG SENTOMARU WE JUST GOT YOU BACK#episode 1100#<- CRAZY. INSANE. OH GOD. ONLY 12 LEFT. THATS A WEEKEND!!! I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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idk if saying this means anything, but I really do consider every request that comes in. Realistically I'm not able to honor all of them even though I wish I could🥲
Even if your ask doesn't get answered, I've never gotten a req that made me think "yah I'm not writing that" and chances are it WAS built upon to some extent/I really was excited with it at one point. I start drafting something like 80% of the asks I receive but my energy is just not reliable at all🥲 plus the usual being busybusy with life
#SORRY I GOT A STROKE OF GUILT COMING BACK#tangent incoming ↓#ive only ever gotten sweet anons here 😭😭 honestly it surprises me considering tumblr is infamous for hatemail#but sometimes they sound like they're worried they're bothering me or something (which is never true!)#so I start worrying that every unanswered ask gives the impression that I'm SICK of yall (also not true)#NO COS ONE TIME#one time I privated my blog immediately after receiving an ask and the anon wondered if I got angry over it#let me clarify I would never get angry over an ask & im sorry it came off that way#the more likely scenario is that#your ask made me open tumblr -> i think 'ough i should edit my theme' -> private blog so no one sees me fucking around#😭😭😭😭😭#IF UR STILL AROUND ANON I HOPE U SEE THIS#i did nawt consider how that mightve come across#I never finished your earlypoo request but this weighed on me all this time 💔
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Both love and hate the absolute DELUGE of ink a fresh sharpie unleashes onto the paper the instant it makes contact…. I have complicated feelings towards the deluge lmao
#pepper words#it might not even only be fresh sharpies idk. I don’t remember… it might always be a deluge#until it starts to die#I use to ONLY use sharpies to draw traditionally for like the longest time. but then I got fancy pens and shit.#that dont piss out all there ink instantly#it’s kinda fun tho.. like it forces you to draw faster. and press lighter. and just. be looser w ur lines#and even when ur being loose it’s STILL making thick as hell lines. but. that’s also kinda interesting..?#idk. it’s kinda fun using them again sometimes. I feel like it’s kinda freeing. u just have to accept what the sharpie puts out#u can only control it so much. u have to let go of that urge for perfection and take what u get#I feel like currently I really struggle w. liking my sketches more than my lines. and trying to replicate all my sketchwork#into my linework… but lines are not sketches!!! so it leads to linework I don’t like either cuz it’s all scratchy and weird#i feel like. 1 I need to learn. to let some pictures just be sketches. like if I like the look of my sketch and wanna keep that loose#conceptual sorta look. to just. not line it. not try to replicate a sketch in lines#and 2! to embrace smoothness in my linework more… to accept my lines. not looking exactly like my sketch#and to not go over every single sketch stroke in ink to try and achieve that.. cuz it doesn’t work!!!!!#and.. uhhh. yeah! I think using sharpies might actually help out w that. cuz u literally. u CANNOT go over them a 100 times.#or trace over every sketch mark. the spread of the ink does not allow it! and if u keep trying it’ll just become a mess#forces me to accept my lines as they are… lines….#ok anyway… sorry for the impromptu sharpie / art dissatisfaction discussion ghghg#sharpies r cool and interesting to work w!!! force me to do things differently i think I like em#but also because I’m so stuck in my ways w lining my sketches they also frustrate me initially ghgh- but who cares if I’m frustrated!#the lines down! it’s done! u just gotta move onto the next one! and boom. whadaya kno#all of a sudden u got some finished linework that isn’t exactly what u put down for the sketch. but it’s smooth and clean and shit!#thats cool lol
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Marvel Meow (2021), Nao Fuji | Professor X and Magneto
Bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus leshnerr#snap scans#i dont scan ever please forgive me for. Everything jvAE:KJ i tried my best to match the purple as how it looks in person#i love the purple used for this whole comic .. its really nice#all the comics have different colors its neat yall should check it out if youre able. its a lovely silly collection#BUT GIRL PLEAAAASSSEE IM CRYING#as a part of my Visiting My Family For The Weekend trip my bro and i went to the store#and i told him about the wolverine cat comic and the whole collection and he found it while we were browsing ....#naturally i got it. because i love the idea of cats being heinous freaks ESPECIALLY to my faves#this all did happen because of a cat. btw. phoenix possessed one while scott and jean were baking a cake#which had everyone trying to catch it. leading to. this. jWLRAKJAWRLKJKJ#this is 1000% has 'we'll be back by 8PM please keep the house clean' vibes i'm sobbing LIKE WHERE ARE THEY RETURNING FROM#also can i just say ... i love it when american comic book characters get the manga treatment#idk i just love it ... i esp love how wolverine's drawn in these comics but. this aint about him#i just wanted to gush about my favorite old people LIKE PLEASE CHARLES IS GOING TO HAVE A STROKE I SEE IT#the fact they still got that goofy lil 'welcome back charles and erik' banner im going to be sick. theyre the whole mansions dads#anyway i have an assignment to do. because my prof hates me Who The Fuck Makes An Assignment due At 12:59AM#bye bye hpoefully ill be back with my own doodles ajvlekjla
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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officially 10K into this fic and having a realization about where I'm at on characterization so far, so i'm wondering:
#N posts stuff#i'm like. this first draft is really the writing equivalent of layout sketching: which characters are where / what's the scene About#with the expectation that the second draft will have the building blocks there to build up specific characterization further#but i'm realizing that i am in fact SO broad strokes on the characters so far that i'd need to do extensive studying#of the source material to really hammer in the characterization in a way that i would be satisfied with. a task that at this point#likely wouldn't be very fun. so i had a moment of 'oh idek if i'll be able to finish writing this fic :(' and got sad about it#which was where the 'oh. actually if i'm That loose on characterization right now I could just. shift the characters in#Whatever ways i want them to go and just make them OCs instead of fanfic...' which would actually be like. technically speaking#a Lot more fun bc this fic is so self-indulgent that i keep having moments where i'm pulling back on other elements i'd want to#incorporate into the fic bc 'if it's Too self-indulgent with numerous headcanons it won't be Good to fandom readers'#(ie the character who would Really vibe being a furry and the other begging to be a tgirl)#it Might wind up being something we do no matter what but i am still curious if there would be like. an actual audience for it#and not just something i'm doing all for myself lol; i used to make a LOT of ocs but haven't really done it in Years nd Years#i had a 'no way' moment but i Have had multiple people tell me they read my fics Regardless of whether they've seen source#material or not. so tentatively hopeful the answer is yes? but i'm curious :3
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yk in retrospect it really is no surprise that rgg has a lot of queer fans. outside of the games being utterly homosexual of course
#snap chats#sorry i finally finished reading the second volume of yakuza's bias#GREAT manga i cant recommend it enough im already crying waiting for the third one to be translated#i got a stroke when the manga mentioned.. those like. ai-chat character things#like christ i know this is a new series and the japanese version was released in january but my GOD this is still topical#anyway let me. get to my point LMAO#because while i was reading there was a speech given by My Main Man that ive noticed is. p common in yakuza media#yk a speech about how the only people who'll give them (yakuza) worth is themselves#and that they'll forever be casted out by society so their passion is the only thing to turn to and live for. something like that#and of COURSE i remember a similar sentiment from The Clan Heir Is A Trans Woman#and listen..... organized crime is very different from being queer. im pretty sure dont quote me on that--#HOWEVER when you have messages like that being thrown left and right... yeah its no wonder LMAO#of course its not note-for-note and the contexts are VERY different LMAO but yk what i mean#its like that one post talking abut monsters and monsterfucking being queer or something#dont listen to me i only go here on legality but i think im onto something#ok bye im gonna stare at my ceiling until i pass out. i wanna start working on my dummy comic but alas...#too busy with comms this week... AND im sleepy...
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happy birthday to the hedgehog of all time :D
#sonic the hedgehog fanart#sonic the hedgehog#art#digital art#fanart#sth#sonicthehedgehog#really like the way i drew him here. yay#blurry_art#sonic team#sega#found out a good way to get good lineart in a reasonable amount of time by just Not Caring asdhjasjdh#(<-he still cared a lot but was more casual about it this time instead of trying to do everything in a single stroke and cheated a lil-#with the lineart. yay again)#anyway expect a speedpaint soon unless the files got corrupted in which case i will Cry in the corner for like 20 minutes and then open up-#p*yo and die to f*li again in endurance mode cause she just has it out for me apparently#ive died more times to f*li than i have any boss character in endurance mode and i think thats pretty funny kajsdha
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I want to quit my job! there’s nothing more in life I want at the moment
#spent the entire day in 100f weather#nearly got heat stroke#was just told that the promotion that was promised to me 8 fucking months ago isn’t happening#bc they don’t want to pay me more money#I’m already doing the job#their expectations with me align w the job#I’m literally training other people at my level#and my manager promised it to me#she even said that bc it was delayed my pay would be retroactive to the right date#and her manager told me it would happen#and now they don’t want to pay me more money#even tho I only make slightly more than the brand new guy who just started who is a disrespectful bitch who I have been tasked with fucking#training#I have a meeting w my boss on Tuesday and I don’t know how I’m not going to scream at her#I have only ever received positive feedback and I’m told regularly that everyone loves me#I’m losing my goddamn mind#I make good money and I still can barely afford my city and I’ll never own a house in the city I grew up in#the most expensive city in the US#and they don’t want to pay me more money#i cannot stop crying
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Being a writer is weird.
#it's tough fighting that human visual bias on a platform like this#my queue ran out and i haven't posted any vp because i was trying to crank out that last chapter for my long fic#and like i get it maybe most people aren't interested in reading it#different strokes for different folks#but like the discrepancy between how people interact with photo vs writing posts is wildly disheartening sometimes#and i've been see-sawing back and forth all day about this#riding high and wallowing in the mud#this is literally the creative project that i've been pouring myself into for the past month and a half every spare moment i have#and i've been doing this for the past year and a half#it's weird pouring so much love into something when the vast majority of people won't even give it two seconds#i love writing but it is also a mentally exhausting craft and people don't seem to acknowledge that for some reason#it's why i try to reblog stuff from my writing mutuals when i see it because it's usually the artwork that gets the least amount of love#anyway just felt like getting that off my chest#i'm sure my fellow writers can commiserate too#i'm not mad or anything i just had thoughts and perhaps voicing them is better then stewing on them i suppose#also i feel bad for not reading more stuff from other people but i've got like zero beans to give atm#no need to worry or anything i'm still gonna keep writing and posting my shit#more vp comin in over the weekend#also god the new tumblr ui for desktop is fucking ugly absolutely atrocious#man i really don't want to have to set up shop on another social media outlet it's tiresome#i don't want to keep up i just want to blog in peace
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