#b99 imagines

[writings-of-a-demigod]

“Hold the elevator!”

The officer in front of you pressed the open button but since you had your headphones on you couldn’t hear a thing. Jake walked into the elevator and you guessed he thanked the officer, he stood next to you.

He looked over at you and saw that you had no intention to remove the headphones he just waved and gave you a smile, you did the same. He could barely hear the music you were playing. Of course, Jake being the nosy person he is he wanted to know so he could bond with you.

But that didn’t happen in the elevator because the ride was short. To his luck he was partnered with you on a case and that gave him the advantage to bond with you.

“So I’ve been meaning to ask you.” He started when he approached your desk.

Your raised your head leaving the case file for a few minutes to give him your full attention.

“Yeah?”

“What were you listening to in the elevator this morning? I swear it was familiar.” He made a thinking face, like he was trying to remember the song even though he didn’t hear anything at all.

“Oh just some songs on a playlist I’m not sure.” you brushed him off because you knew his intentions and you didn’t want him to act crazy.

“Maybe you could send me the playlist?” he suggested hoping.

“When I get a breather.” You smiled then excused yourself.

After a full day you and Jake both agreed on a steak out, thinking it was the best choice to gather info before going in hot. You two were in your car.

“Why don’t we listen to something?” he of course turned on your music and the first thing he heard was ‘But I knew you, dancing in your Levi’s’

He gasped “You’re a swiftie?” with and open mouth and wide eyes.

You rolled your eyes “Yes, Jake I’m a swiftie.” You answered.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I didn’t want you to freak out but apparently you are.” you answered honestly.

“I promise I’m not freaking out.” He lied and both of you can tell.

After a minute of silence between you two.

“So you want to listen to evermore?” he asked you.

“Well of course I want to listen to evermore!”

*gif not mine*

[mrlxys]

•°. *࿐ 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐊

➣ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ! jake peralta x fem!insecure!reader

➣ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ! body dysmorphia, mental health issues

➣ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 ! i have no idea what this is

━━ SUMMARY :: that little voice in your head wins

➺ ❛ ⌗ impossible love & friends to strangers ❜

You took a deep breath as you closed your book, putting it away as you got tired. It was almost time to leave, so you just scrolled on your phone for a bit.

“Y/N!” None other than Gina Linetti yelled to grab your attention. She succeeded. You looked up as she motioned for you to come over. You got on your feet, and walked over with a small smile, “The crew’s going for drinks later, you know, the usual, but I’ve heard you don’t want to come?”

“Uh—yeah,” You nodded as your brows furrowed, “Why?” Gina took a deep breath as she looked at you with a certain look that you read as ‘seriously?’.

“You’ve been missing out on going anywhere with us; is something up?” Gina intertwined her hands as she looked up at you, eyeing you, “Nope, I’m perfectly fine.” The lie immediately left your lips as you shrugged, “Just a bit tired. I’ve never been one for hangouts, anyway.”

“Mhm.” She nodded unconvinced, motioning as to tell you ‘okay, go’. You put on the smile you had and returned to your desk, sitting down in your seat. You then heard a loud laugh, making you turn your head in the sounds direction. It was Amy and Jake talking, Amy seemingly laughing at something Jake had said.

You involuntarily formed a sad smile, then looked away before anyone could see you look at them. If someone knew, you thought repeatedly. God, how you had the biggest crush on Jake. It started as a giddy middle school crush, before it turned into something more. It was long before Amy ans Jake got together, so it was so hard to try to make your feelings disappear. Not to mention you and Jake are very close friends.

Jake and Amy were the perfect couple. You would never do anything to damage their relationship, no matter what. Yes, you and Jake were close, but you and Amy were also friends. Sabotaging their relationship would be the last thing you would ever do. You wouldn’t blame Jake for getting with Amy, anyway. She was so incredibly smart, let alone gorgeous. You’re not jealous of Amy, but you just aspire to be like her.

“N/N!” Jake clapped in front of you, making you jump in your seat, “What the hell?” You furrowed your brows as you looked up at him. He crossed his arms as he looked concerned and serious at the same time, “Why’re you not going anywhere with us?” He asked as he narrower his eyes at you.

“I’m just not in the mood,” You sighed to stand up, before he pushed you back onto the chair. You tilted your head in confusion, “I’m being honest, Peralta.” You shook your head with a shrug.

“I somehow find that hard to believe.” He let out a breath as he grabbed a chair. He sat in front of you. You knew how this was gonna go. He wouldn’t leave you alone, bug you with questions before you finally admit what was up. Not this time, though. You literally could not bear to let your heart break even more, especially seeing them somewhere other than work. Besides, you wouldn’t have had a chance either way.

Your insecurities would get the best of you, and not let it down until you distanced yourself from him and eventually breakup. Well, that’s not how your relationships went. It’s what you were told during those relationships that affected you and made you the way you are.

“Y’know how lucky you are to be with me?”

“You were always something to pass time with.”

“Look at you. Why would I be with you out of all people?”

The memories flashed, causing you to swallow a lump in your throat. His hand went on yours, “Just tell me.” He was genuinely concerned. Jake always cared about his friends, something you loved about him. Loved, shit, you freaked out and stammered, “I gotta go.” You grabbed your bag and strutted to the elevator in a hurry. You felt everyone’s eyes on you, and you just closed your eyes as you walked into the elevator, before Jake threw one of Scullys’ bag of chips to keep the elevator opened.

“Okay, seriously, what is up with you?” He stopped the elevator, then turned to you. He cornered you, making your breath hitch, “What’s up with you?” You chuckled in disbelief as your hands pushed him away softly. He tilted his head in confusion now, “Just—leave me alone.” You turned to the button, until Jake grabbed your wrists.

“You should know me better than that,” He said as he blocked your view of the controls, “Please tell me.” He pleaded. You shook your head and backed up, suddenly feeling suffocated. Your mental health has gone to shit a while ago, your insecurities piling up with every passing minute, and the urge to breakdown was too much; not to mention overthinking. Sure, you may have overreacted before, but you had time to think about that later. Right now, all you wanted to do is get away from Jake Peralta.

You stayed quiet, head down, while you fidgeted with your fingers. He dropped his head back as a soft sigh left his lips. He knew you were stubborn, but usually he would’ve gotten through to you by now, “Is it really that scary you don’t wanna tell me?”

You looked up at him, giving him an answer without saying a word. He nodded, then moved to let you press the button, yet you paused, “If I could tell you, I would, but I’m not that kind of person.” Then pressed the button.

The next day was the same, yet you stayed quiet. You were more introverted than usual as you tugged the the hem of your sweater’s sleeves, in deep thought. You wondered if yesterday could’ve gone differently, but it couldn’t have. You felt Jake’s eyes on you, but you didn’t dare to even glance in his direction. You were finishing up paperwork, then got up to go to Captain Holt’s office.

“Y/N,” Gina grabbed you, making you almost lose your balance, “Hm?” You hummed. Rosa was stood beside you, making you jump a bit. Then, Rose hit your shoulder without warning, “What gives?” You hit her back, making her give you a glare you know wasn’t real.

“Did you tell Jake?” Gina sang. You knitted your brows together, obviously confused. Rosa sighed, “Did you tell Jake you wanted him in way too many ways?” She said casually. Your eyes widened and looked around to make sure no one heard, and thankfully, no one did.

“Say it louder, why don’t you?” You sarcastically stated as you crossed your arms, “Also, obviously not.” You continued.

“Well, why not?” Gina said as if it wasn’t obvious enough. “He is dating someone. I can’t ruin that, why would I? I don’t have a chance, anyway.” You shrugged, “Let it go. I’m not really bothered with this, and you both shouldn’t be either.”

“Yeah,” Gina hummed, “no.” She then continued, getting a nod from Rosa. “They’ve been talking about taking a ‘break’ for a bit, because they’ve been busy with work.” Rosa turned to you.

“That’s their business, and I will not interfere, so neither should you two!” You pointed at them with your index finger. You then walked back to your desk, ditching the idea to go to Captain Holt. Thankfully, it was time to leave, so you took your things and made you way to the elevator. And this time, Jake didn’t throw a bag of chips.

You were in your apartment, on the couch while you waited your pizza to arrive to start the movie. Then, the doorbell rang. Expecting it to be your order, you grabbed your cash and walked to the door, opening it to find Jake.

While you were about to slam the door shut, he put his hand on the door and pushed it open. You walked back to your couch, not saying a word as he shut the door, “Talk to me.” He sighed as you stayed quiet. You were in a pair of sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, with your hair in a ponytail. “What do you want me to say?” You faintly said, trying so incredibly hard to not look at him.

“Whatever it is that’s bothering you.” He honestly spoke, “I can’t do that.” You finally turned to him, the gap between you two not being much—catching you off guard. As you were about to turn and look down as you’ve done before, his thumb and index finger held your chin, forcing you to look up at him, “I can’t,” You tilted your head ever so slightly, the words coming out as a whisper.

Before he let out a word, the bell rang. You swallowed a lump that formed in your throat, then stood up and walked to the door. You grabbed the cash beforehand, then opened the door to find a sweet woman with a pizza box, “Thank you,” You mumbled with a smile, then softly shut the door and walked back to the couch.

“Y/N—“

“No, you seriously don’t understand; I actually can’t tell you. It’s best if I don’t, Jake.” You cut him off before he can say anything. He doesn’t understand how much you being in his mere presence hurts you so much. You wouldn’t dream of ruining what makes Jake happy, not to mention Amy. Amy was such a kind and special person, you were honestly relieved Jake was dating her.

You then felt him intertwine your hands, making you look up at him with a confused expression, “I understand.” He nodded as he locked eyes with you. You mirrored his soft nod, as you cupped his cheek before being able to stop yourself. Your eyes widened just a bit before going back to your previous expression; trying to not make your thoughts obvious.

“I really can’t,” You whispered as tears welled up in your eyes, although they weren’t very obvious. He nodded and got up, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” His lips formed into a thin line, making you suck in a breath.

As soon as he was out the door, tears freely rolled down your cheeks. Your knees were pulled to your chest, then grabbed the remote to put on your comfort movie. Everything has gone to crap—everything except your job, that is.

Mental health? Long gone.

Love life? Never existed.

Friendships? Either distance or are just fake.

Insecurities? Piling up by the passing second.

Life is truly not worth it.

──── 𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒 . . . !

[hanasnx]

moves.

MINORS DNI 18+

JAKE PERALTA can't believe his stroke of good luck. Of pure, unadulterated good luck. He had entered the crime scene with you mere moments ago and after a heated exchange of bouncing off of each other with observations— your voices gradually raising at the same level as you near the climax of the conversation— you'd given him the look. Focused eyes watching him through your brows, the curl of your parted lips, panting through them. How you assessed him, scanned his figure like he was edible, sharing a silent moment with him as you calculate exactly what you wanna do to him. Next thing he knew you were excusing you and him saying you'd be going out for coffee, when you'd pulled him into the nearest cleaning closet of the apartment complex that wasn't crawling with cops. Now he's balls deep inside you, clothes having hastily been moved aside to accommodate it.

"Jakey," you whine, dragging out the word. He loves it when you call him that. Gets him all hot and bothered, afraid he'd give you whatever you asked for when you invoke that pretty petname off those pretty lips. "you fuck me so good..."

His teeth bite hard into the skin past his lips, brows creased in concentration so as not to bust to early. It's a quickie, a fucking hot one, but he's still got manners. The sound of your voice has his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he's fucking you from the back, big hands on your hips to keep pulling you back onto his cock while you brace on the wall. A brief moan hums through his nose as he directs you closer to him, talking shit in your ear, "Do I fuck you good? Yeah? Yeah, baby? 'I fuck you good?" breathless, and dizzy with pleasure, he can't believe someone like you is this into him.

[veryberryjelly]

hey girl!!! I think ur still writing for jake from b99 (hopefully) so i was wondering if i could request him with a reader who's on her period and she's working, jake brings her home and comforts her (cause her cramps are rlly bad) <3

jake peralta x fem!reader

cw : reader is described as female, reader has truly bad cramps

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

as a woman, one of the necessities of life was making sure you could function during your period.

if you didn't have a way to cope, it was hard, or almost impossible to do day to day tasks such as going to work.

and you had your emergency kit in your desk drawer. heating pad, tampons, spare underwear, pads and some pills your doctor had prescribed to you when you explained how bad your cramps could get.

and while you would usually replenish your kit a few days before your period started, you hadn't expected the wave of cramps that overtook you as you sat at your desk.

"shit-" you muttered under your breath when you felt the first one.

you were quick to open your drawer and look for the familiar yellow bottle, only to find it empty.

your stomach dropped and another cramp rolled through your abdomen.

you couldn't do much about it now, only put on a heating pad, change your underwear and put on a pad.

so that's exactly what you did. you grabbed your necessary supplies and headed towards the bathroom, making an extra effort to walk straight instead of hunched over.

you felt a pair of eyes on you briefly but just ignored it, knowing your priority at the moment.

when you returned to your desk, heating pad in place over your abdomen, you felt a tiny bit better, but the cramps were still coming fierce and fast.

it must've been the crease in your brow that alerted jake of your discomfort because after a few moments you saw a figure sit down at the side of your desk.

you picked your eyes up to find his familiar brown eyes. a soft smile settled briefly on your lips.

" what's up ?" you questioned, dropping your pen down on your desk quietly as to not aggravate the headache you could feel forming.

" you doing okay ?" he questioned, his voice quiet and comforting.

you should've known jake would notice you acting off. he knew you too well not to notice.

" yeah, i'm fine-" you paused momentarily when you felt a stabbing pain in your lower back. " just cramps "

early on in your relationship jake had found out just how bad your cramps could be. after you had to cancel a date last minute saying you were unwell and he showed up to your apartment with takeout. you had just been honest with him and told him you got really bad cramps.

he wasn't rude or grossed out, he just asked how he could help and you ended the night curled on your couch with his arm draped over your stomach, his palm splayed out under your t-shirt on your abdomen.

since that night he had always been there when you needed him to be.

" v'you taken anything ?" he questioned, his voice still slightly hushed.

" haven't replenished my prescription "

a small hiss came from his lips as he took in the repercussions of you not having the thing that made these few days more bearable for you.

" d'you want me to go and refill it for you ?" his suggestion made your heart melt and you reached your hand over to squeeze his hand lightly.

" it's okay, i can wait a couple hours. can we go by the pharmacy on the way home, though ?" you asked to which he nodded immediately.

he gave your hand a small squeeze, giving you a comforting smile before he departed back to his own desk.

you thought you could wait until the end of the work day, but your cramps only worsened over the next hour.

you couldn't focus on your case reports over the stabbing pain through your body.

" c'mon i'm taking you home "

you lifted your head to find jake stood by your desk, his jacket on and his bag over his shoulder.

" jake, you don't have to do this. i'm fine, and we've both got st-"

" would you just let me do this for you? i talked to holt and he's giving you the afternoon off and i'm taking you home. " the way he said it left almost no room for discussion. he was taking you home and that was the end of it.

you didn't debate with him, just pulled your jacket over your shoulders and picked up your bag.

his hand slipped easily into yours as the two of you walked out of the precinct and down towards the parking lot.

the drive back to your apartment wasn't a long one, it felt a lot better after jake hopped out at the pharmacy and returned to the car with your prescription in his hand along with a bottle of water.

when you arrived home, jake told you to go and shower, change and get settled on the couch while he made some tea.

you were quick to go into your bedroom, grab one of jake's t-shirts and a pair of long pyjama pants and get take them into the bathroom.

your shower was quick but definitely made you feel a bit better. when you stepped out you changed into the clothes you had gotten out and walked out into the living room.

you found jake sat on the couch on his phone, a mug of tea on the coffee table beside a hot water bottle and one of your cosiest blankets on the couch.

nothing was said as you sat down and leant into jake's frame, his arms wrapping around you swiftly. he simply offered you the remote and made minimal comments when you put on a film you both enjoyed.

though as much as you enjoyed it, your head went limp against jake's chest within the first half an hour.

[deathofacupid]

dude (blurb) | jake peralta

summary: "dude" but romantically.

warnings: none.

pairing: fem!reader x jake peralta (friends to lovers)

word count: 0.8k+ words

"okay, but i'm serious! you have to try it, it's literally amazing."

"i was gonna take your word for it, but i remembered it's you... so, no."

"dude," he whined, a soft smile adorning his lips.

"dude," you say back, same tone.

"fine, fine, what if i make you one? that's, like, no work required. y'know minus chewing."

"jacob jeffrey peralta, i am not, not even on my deathbed, trying pickles with ice cream. that's just a new level of gross."

"but charles approved it!"

"why on earth would that affect whether or not i try it?"

"y'know, i have no clue. i'm getting desperate."

"i can see that."

"dudeeee," he kicks his feet on the floor as he's sitting next to you on the couch. die hard is playing on the tv in his apartment, but the two of you have seen it so many times, you practically have it memorized by heart.

and why would you ever watch die hard when jake's sitting right there?

between you and yourself, you know which you'd rather watch. okay, "watch" sounded creepy.

you're laying on his lap as he's looking down at you, pouting.

you roll your eyes, but it's all fun. "dudeeee."

truth be told, you're sure you can handle the odd food combo, but teasing him and drawing this out is so much more fun. god, you really are in love with him.

"pretty, pretty, please? with- with, like, seven cherries on top?"

"just seven?" you pretend to be offended.

"i'm a brokie, the best i can do is eight." jake runs a hand through your hair, it's so comforting.

you sigh, "all right."

"to the cherries or the pream?"

"the- the what now?"

"pickles. ice cream. pickles and ice cream. pream? yeah, you know what, that's... that's not it. doesn't roll of the tongue great."

"oh, yeah. that, and it sounds like an std."

"good point. i'm gonna assume you meant the... cream... pi... creampi-"

"i'm gonna stop you right there."

he nods quickly. "right. what about cream-"

"not if it starts with 'cream', dude."

"icickles?"

"n-"

"piccream!"

"if i try your 'dish'," you air quote, "will you stop trying to come up with names."

"maybe."

you give him a look, and he amends, "yes. maybe. i pledge to do my best." jake salutes you, then pokes your check. you scowl, swatting him away and sitting up.

"lead me to your kitchen."

"sure. it's five steps that-a-way," he says, pointing to the kitchen that is quite exactly five steps away. like a true gentleman, jake scoops you - through which you protest ("dude!") - and then (after six steps, actually [wow, his apartment is slightly bigger than hypothesized]) sets you on the counter.

"i feel like you should know that i'm perfectly capable of walking on my own."

"but why would you when i'm here?"

"dude."

"dude," he replies, grabbing the ice cream from the freezer.

"how are you even supposed to eat this? like... spread it? o-or dip?"

jake grabs a spoon and scoops some ice cream onto it. "watch, young jedi."

"i don't-"

"shh, i'm yoda-ing." he spreads it on the pickle and shoves it in your face. slowly, you sniff it. it doesn't smell... like anything bad, really.

it doesn't look great though. "is it too late to go back?"

"yes." after a second, he groans, "gah, i'll go first." he takes a bite, and you make a face.

"mmm... you shouf knodis is-"

"jake, swallow."

he grins and you furrow your brows. "what- oh. oh! jake!" your cheeks heat up so quickly, for a number of reason. because, yeah, obviously the second one sounds better.

also, of course that's what he instantly goes to.

"oh, my god. are you twelve or thirty-three? because i honestly can't tell."

"dude, i'm well-versed. you wouldn't understand."

"i'm... twenty-five. wo-wouldn't i-?"

"schematics."

"yeah, okay, bud."

"dude," he corrects.

"right," you murmur, "dude."

you don't really realize how he's leaning in, the way if you do too, your lips would touch. you falter, and you can feel warm breath minglingwith yours.

jake cups your cheek and you lean into it. you aren't sure what's about to happen, though it should be obvious. but with jake, you're nervous, afraid that this isn't really happening.

you have no clue what he's done with the pickle, and you have no clue why that's what's on your mind right now.

he squeezes your waist gently, a way of asking for permission. you nod, and at first, it's just a brush. just a brush of his lips against yours, feeling for some type of sense that this is happening. that it's reality.

you press back against him, your hand on top of his, the one on your face. your other hand blindly feels for his hair, tugging against his soft, brown curls.

when you pull away, you're breathing hard. not because of the kiss, because it wasn't aggressive or any longer than twenty seconds, but because of the adrenaline of it all.

"dude," he breathes, and you giggle.

"y'taste like pickles. and ice cream. it's actually not that bad," you admit. "at least not on you."

"dude," jake repeats, dumb-founded at what just happened.

you peck him again, right on the lips, "dude."

[daddiesdrarryy]

Regulus: James is just the worst. He thinks he’s so smart and so attractive. He makes me feel good about the world and my place in it.

Evan: Barty, he’s doing it again!

[alloftheimaginesblog]

Headcanons for working with Jake Peralta and he's secretly in love with you...

When you first started at the precinct Jake was immediately attracted to you. At first it was harmless flirting but when he started to get to know you, things slowly became more serious.

Boyle would tease Jake about his crush on you, bigging him up to ask you out but Jake never did - he always chickened out.

Being put on a case with you was always the highlight of the week. He would high five Boyle under the table and would flash you a wide grin and a wink.

Even if he's not on a case with you, he'll offer to help you figure stuff out or help you with the paperwork afterwards which you always appreciate.

Jake's always very complimentary of you, never overstepping a line but always making sure you know how good you are.

He offers advice to you whenever you need it, it's not always good advice or very practical but he offers it anyway.

His main goal every day is to make you smile and make you laugh and he makes damn sure he achieves his goal. He loves your laugh, loves the way your eyes crinkle, loves how happy your smile is.

If there's a promotion available, of course he wants it but he goes into Holt's office and recommends you. He doesn't tell you but you're the best person for the job and he can't sit there and lie to Holt saying that he's the one for the job. It's you that deserves it so he tells Holt just as much.

He's the first person to congratulate you on getting the job. He couldn't have been prouder of you.

"I mean, why wouldn't you get the job you're awesome?!"

It's Holt that spills the secret. He's giving a speech in the bar and lets slip that Jake recommended you.

You can't believe it. You pull Jake aside asking if it's true. He admits it is... When you ask why, he smiles, shrugs and says, "Because it's you, (y/n). It's... It's you."

You start to see Jake in a very different light after that.

[shewroteaworld]

How He Made You Feel

Pairing: Jake Peralta x Reader

Premise: Right before the first sleepover of your romantic relationship, Jake puts a high school teacher behind bars for attempted sexual assault. The case brings up some difficult high school memories for you.

Warnings: mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sexual harassment, downplaying of sexual harassment

Word count: approx. 2,500

A/N: I'm back! Let me know in the comments if you want more Jake Peralta fics. (I'm not sure there's an audience for it.) Hope you enjoy! <3

Jake Peralta is the king of cinnamon buns. Eating the ones you bake, that is. 

“This is like heaven on my tongue!” He moans. He licks some cream cheese frosting off the top. “Babe, these are seriously amazing.”

Your back relaxes. “Thanks, Jakey.”

Right after your shift at the 99th precinct, you zipped to your apartment to chill before the first sleepover of your romantic relationship (no pressure). Rather than chillaxing, your anxiety sparked, and kneading dough became the outlet. Your in-a-pinch cinnamon buns never fail to soothe your soul or anyone’s taste buds. Now that you’re in his kitchen, you’re grateful for the baking conniption. Jake’s indulgence gives you a moment to ground.

As he gulps down another bite, his eyebrow quirks. “Jakey?” He flashes that cheeky grin you love to hate.

Your face warms. “I never said that.”

“Nope! No take backs! It’s on the record!”

You scoff. “Aren’t you a little young for hearing loss?” 

“Hey!” He pokes the edge of your forced frown. “You said it, and you know it, and it was adorable.”

Your heart beats in your ears. “You liked it?” 

Jake’s eyes soften. “Yeah, I liked it.” He smirks mischievously. “And you’re getting all mushy on me.”

You roll your eyes. “Oh, please, Peralta.” 

“I’ve got you wrapped around my finger.” He pokes your side.

You jerk away. “You don’t, and you know it.”

“If you say so! But I know what cutesy-nickname territory means.”

The buzz of his phone spares you from his ribbing. “Our DoorDash is here. I’m going to pick it up downstairs.” Jake slips on his slides.

“Kay. Thanks.”

He leans over his kitchen chair to kiss your cheek. “Course. BRB.”

Jake rushes out his apartment door. In his absence, you observe his place: the mopped kitchen tile, his clean olive green couch, his stash of beginner recipe books tucked on a shelf above a kitchen counter. When you first transferred to the 99, you couldn’t imagine Peralta had an inkling of an organized domestic in him. 

Your tan trench coat hangs next to his leather NYPD jacket on the coat rack in the hall. Your heart palpitates. That was the first stitch of your domestic lives being sewn together. You wring your hands.

Jake doesn’t care about stains. You’ll eat Indian take-out from the container while watching some corny comedy he loves and you bemoan on his bare sofa. You tidy the kitchen table anyway.

The wave of anxiety begins to crest as you straighten junk mail from random magazines and political campaigns. You brush crumbs off the new placemats you forced on him through Office Secret Santa. (Weave placements are a recipe for soup-spill disasters.) You leave the manila files of cases he’s working on untouched off to the side.

You pour two tall glasses of water.  So what if you ordered drinks? Jake’s bloodstream will become half orange soda if someone doesn’t counteract his addiction.

Just as you’re setting the glasses down, there’s a knock on the door.

You jump. Your hand jerks, sending a manila folder flying to the floor, its confidential contents scattering behind the island on impact. Shit. 

“Forgot my keys, babe!” Jake calls.

“Coming!” 

Upon opening the door, a smiley Jake awaits you, holding a white cardboard box to his chest. The mouth watering aromas wafting from it don’t calm your cortisol levels. 

His head tilts. “Why the long face?”

You step aside. “When you knocked, I jumped and slapped one of your files off the kitchen table. I’m sorry.”

His brow furrows. “It’s no problem.” He says, as if he doesn’t understand why you’re on edge. 

“Everything spilled out.” You elaborate. Though you wouldn’t describe Jake as neat, he’s particular. Though the order of his files and notes are Greek to everyone else, it makes sense to him. He hates when someone “tidies” it without his permission.

Jake walks towards the kitchen. “Yeah, on the floor, not another dimension. It’s okay. Besides, it doesn’t need to be in any specific order– I closed that case today. I’m returning everything to the file room first thing.”

You trail behind him. “Did you close while I was uptown with Boyle?”

“Yep.” He plops the takeout box on the table. He kneels down to gather the rogue papers. “While you were out gathering evidence, I was cracking the code on this creep.”

Your eyebrows knit. “Sexual assault case?” You sort your take out into categories: his, hers, and shared. 

Jake taps a stack of papers straight against a countertop. “Attempted.  And he was a fucking high school teacher. Luckily, it was all on security cam. Easy win.”

The styrofoam carton of lamb samosas trembles in your hand. “That’s upsetting.”

“Majorly. Sadly, he’ll probably get off easy. I mean it was attempted. Not that it should’ve been full-on assault or that what happened isn’t terrible–”

“I understand what you mean, Jake.” You assure. It’s how sex crimes go. 

You open your potato samosa carton. “These are the bomb dot com,” you say. It’s an easy lay up for him.

“That ass is the bomb dot com!” Your chest loosens at the change of topic.

You shoot Jake a glare. He puts his hands up. 

He picks up the last of stray papers as you grab plates and utensils.  When he’s done, he grabs the drink holder, your Pineapple Fanta and your pink lemonade each tucked in a cardboard slot. “Let’s go sit, m’lady.”

You reach for the drink holder with your free hand, but he twists his torso away. He nods towards the living room. “Relax. Pick a show. Remote’s on the coffee table.”

When Jake joins you on the couch, you immediately reach for your potato samosas.

“You weren’t kidding when you said those were your favorite.” Jake chuckles.

“Absolutely not. Try the lamb. They should be in the center– that’s the shared column.”

Jake affectionately rolls his eyes. “You treat life like an Excel spreadsheet.”

“Someone has to.” The cold condensation on your small pink lemonade chills your hand. “Hopefully, a detective would.”

He grabs his chest as if you struck him. “Your passive aggression is a stab to my heart!”

You pop open the container of jasmine rice. “What subject did that teacher teach?” You ask.

“The creeper?”

“Mhmm.”

Jake opens a container of chicken saagwala. “History.”

You hum disappointedly. “History teachers were always the coolest. Especially the male ones.” You stab your plastic fork into the rice and reach for the curry. 

“Now I wish I slept less in history class.” Jake remarks. 

You stare blankly at the coffee table as you spoon your (hopefully) extra spicy curry onto your plate. 

The couch sighs as Jake sinks back into the cushions, his left arm stretching to lay behind you on the sofa’s back. “Such a scumbag. The girl was barely legal–could’ve been one of his own students. To make matters worse, she looked 16.”

In your head, you count your breaths. You zone in on the white grains of rice you’re absentmindedly pushing into your curry sauce. 

You see your high school hallway. You remember the misery, the pressure. Mr. Johnston.

“You listening to me, babe?”

He taps your calf with the tip of his slide. You flinch.

“Sorry,” he says. Didn’t mean to startle you.” 

“That’s alright.”

In your peripheral vision, he leans forward. “You okay?”

You nod. “I’m great.” You click on his TV. “Just got a bit lost in my thoughts for a second.”

You feel Jake studying your side profile.

You click on Netflix. “Let’s do something lighthearted.” You drop down to his My List. Thankfully, you don’t have to search long to find something passable. 

“This one okay?” You ask. “I’ve been wanting to watch this too.”

“More than okay.”

The strings of the production company’s opening music fill the living room. You fiddle with your fork. Queasiness bites at you.

You need to shake this. This was your first sleepover with Jake. Don’t ruin this experience for yourself. It was so long ago. Nothing happened. It was uncomfortable, but you were alright. It was nowhere close to what that victim experienced. You’re fine. Is your asthma acting up?

You rest your plate on the coffee table. “Keep watching. I need the restroom real quick.”

You speed walk across the apartment to his bathroom, locking the door behind you. You turn the faucet to screeching cold. You dip your head into the basin and splash ice water in your face.

Your lungs gasp open from shock. Your brain drops back into your body. 

Everything’s safe. You’re okay. Tonight will be great. Don’t let some creep going to trial rattle you like this and ruin the evening.

You find a clean towel in a drawer and dry your face. After taking a detour to his bathroom to toss it in his hamper, you take three final deep breaths, your hand over your heart.

You’re fine. Nothing’s happening.

You return to the couch with a soft smile. “Sorry, Jake.” 

“No problem. You okay?” He asks again.

You hate lying to him. “Yeah, I just had to pee.” 

The movie snaps back to action. Though you didn’t ask, he paused for you. As the film unfurls, as predicted, you poke fun at the plot and Jake ardently defends it. The banter warms you, but the knot in the pit of your stomach refuses to unfurl.

Once your plate is clean, you lay your head on Jake’s shoulder. As the leading actress does something you don’t register, Jake’s laughter ripples through your hollow chest. 

It was so long ago. Nothing happened. It was uncomfortable, but you survived it. He never touched you. It was so long ago. He must be retired by now. It wasn’t your fault. There was nothing to be your fault. Nothing criminal happened. Nothing. It was so–

“(Y/N).”

You gasp. You snap up straight. The movie’s been paused. 

“Sorry, I couldn’t get your attention.” Jake says gently. 

Your heart sinks. “It’s…I’m just in my head.” You roughly run a hand through your hair. “So sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. What’s wrong?”

“It doesn’t matter.” You stare at your knees.

Jake intertwines his fingers with yours. “It’s definitely substantial for you to be distracted like this.” He squeezes your hand. “I’m here.”

You smile sadly. “I don’t want to bring the vibe down.”

“Acquiring (Y/N) lore rivals catching bad guys as my favorite thing to do. Telling me about your feelings could never bring the vibe down. ”

A courteous dismissal gets tangled in your throat. Is that really what you want to say? 

Your free hand fiddles with the end of your hair. “I really don’t know how to talk about this.”

“Take all the time you need.”

You force a deep breath. “Your case threw me off.”

His eyebrows knit. “The teacher–creep one?”

You nod. “The teacher…you said he harassed a young woman who looked 16.”

He nods.

“It reminds me of an experience I had in high school when I was 17.”

His thumb strokes the back of your hand. “How so?” He asks gently.

“There was… this science teacher– Mr. Johnston. One semester, I had to walk by his classroom everyday. I had to walk from my homeroom on the opposite end of the school, so sometimes I would get there right after the bell rang. When I was alone, he would always offer to walk me to class…even though it was only a couple doors down from his.”

Jake nods. 

“He said he was trying to make sure I didn’t get in trouble for tardiness…but he never told my teacher he walked me. And he did it even after he knew I wouldn’t get in trouble and that I was only going two doors down from his classroom.”

“That’s definitely weird.”

“He also used to do this weird thing where he would walk right behind me…I think it was supposed to be copying my walk to tease me. One day, he came up super close behind me– close enough to smell my perfume. All I could think about was how close to my ass he was.”

Anger cuts through Jake’s expression. “Did anyone see this?” 

“Some other teachers did. They didn’t see anything wrong with it…they laughed it off everytime. I guess they saw it as a harmless joke. But, it made me really uncomfortable. Everyday I would pray that he wouldn’t say hi to me or be weird and would just let me walk to class. I figured maybe I was crazy, making something out of nothing, but it just felt wrong. At the time, I tried to block it out, I had other stressors to deal with…but right after I graduated, I reflected on it and other stories I heard about him…and I was creeped out.”

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry. Did you ever report this?”

“I confided in another teacher about it, but I never formally reported anything. I don’t know if he ever talked to his colleague about his behavior. Plus, I didn't think there was anything concrete to report.” You sigh. “It felt so wrong. I remember being so afraid of being alone in a room with him…he was a co-advisor for some extracurriculars I was a part of. There, he was always completely indifferent towards me but in those hallways in the morning…”

“With less people.” Jake notes. “And colleagues who didn’t take his behavior seriously.” 

You nod. 

“(Y/N), I’m so, so sorry. That isn’t okay.”

“I’m still not really sure if anything did happen to me. He didn’t touch me….he just…”

Jake shakes his head. “Followed you down hallways and got close to your body. That’s not okay.” He squeezes your hand again. “How did it make you feel?”

“Violated.” You admit.

Jake nods. “That’s what matters. How he made you feel matters. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

Tears well in your eyes. “Thanks, Jake.”

Jake offers you a tissue. “Do you know what ever happened to that teacher?”

You wipe your eyes. “I believe he retired…not 100% sure.”

His face hardens. “I can track him down if you like.”

“No, Jake…there’s nothing to report. No evidence. Just a dead-end case of “he said she said” from over 10 years ago. Even if I reported it earlier, I doubt anything could have happened.”

Jake groans. “This sucks. I’m sorry for what you went through. No one should feel uncomfortable with a teacher at school. Jesus, every time I think I get what women go through, I learn it’s worse than I imagined. I’m so, so sorry.”

You dab your eyes. “Thank you for not belittling what happened to me. It’s great to have someone like you...you don't downplay what I feel."

He kisses your nose. “It’s part of my boyfriend duties; it’s what I’m here for.”

You press a tender kiss to his lips. “Thank you for being a safe space to talk.”

He returns the peck. “Forever and always.”

Jake Peralta is a goofball. He can be messy– both literally and figuratively. But at the core of it all was a mensch’s heart. 

[amorchai]

𝐔𝐍𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐒. ─ j.p

pairing(s): jake peralta x female!detective!reader

summary: it's you and jake's first case together as a couple, only for the plan to go pear-shaped.

words: 953

warnings/tags: female!reader, kidnapping ( made it as minimal as possible ), established relationship, worry.

it was very rare for the squad to see jake peralta worried. very rare. only at times where his morning bagel fell onto the floor or the street dog wasn’t waiting outside after a long shift but apart from that everyone was used to seeing goofy-carefree jake.

so when jake had ran into the precinct, wide eyed and fast paced, not one limerick falling from his lips as he almost fell into the door leading to captain holt’s office – the squad knew something was wrong.

terry followed swiftly; half-eaten yoghurt left behind to listen to the information, it was clear jake was pleading to the captain, wondering why you weren’t by his side. rosa and boyle follow his frame curiously while amy tries to lipread the captain’s responses.

one of your first cases together as a couple had gone pear-shaped. you had insisted to go in as bait – talk to the drug-ringleader and try to sneak some case-altering information. jake had argued at first, not wanting you in that position but he also advocated as a major feminist so when you said you were just as strong as a man, he immediately agreed.

however, the plan you had set out didn’t work, jake sitting at the other side of the earpiece – in the dirty van parked up front. he was unaware of the gun held to your head while the criminal wordlessly gestured for you to take out the earpiece.

when the sound muffled into white noise, jake started tapping his earpiece, “y/n? y/n!” he kept saying but there was nothing but lousy feedback. jake immediately storms the building, gun in hand and bullet-proof vest into the lonely room filled with nothing but a smashed earpiece on the ground.

which led him to the captain’s room, alerting him on the situation. “you said this was supposed to be a low-contact stake-out, why did you deem it smart to send our detective in there, unarmed, and without a squad waiting?” holt was furious, terry raising his hand to try and calm down the situation.

“we can try to track security footage, find out where they took her, captain. we only need a few hours-” jake pulls a face, “nuh-uh, i’m not waiting three hours while my girlfriend’s stuck with him.”

“look, i get it but what else can we do, peralta?” asks terry. jake looks to holt who shrugs, a hint of pure fear and disbelief in his own eyes worrying your boyfriend more than he’s ever felt.

jake sighs, “what if we check out the other location he’s known to sell? it's an abandoned warehouse just outside the city – get a squad together, storm the place to see.”

holt nods, “yes. meanwhile we’ll have a couple of detectives head down to the last place, find some cctv footage just in case it’s a dead-end. let’s get a group together now.”

there was a very quick briefing, holt assigning people jobs in order to get their detective back safely and before jake knew it he was in the back of a cop van with the same bullet-proof vest on. his mind spinning with agitation.

“hey,” jake looks to his side where rosa’s voice cuts in, “she’s gonna be fine, man. she’s a great cop.” jake nods, “i know, she’s the best, but this is all my fault i shouldn’t have let her go in herself.”

the van stops, doors opening to lead everyone outside to the abandoned warehouse. “she’s gonna be fine,” rosa reassures once more, and jake hopes to god his friend is right, jumping out of the van and catching up to the group.

holt leads, glancing into one of the broken windows before gesturing jake, terry, and amy towards the front door while the rest go round the small back space. the walkie talky that sits on amy’s vest muffles quietly, “on three.”

the moment amy says three, jake kicks the bolted door and aims his gun, “hands in the air!” a mix of voices scream into the room. several men raise their hands, one with a gun in his hand jake recognises as the leader – but all he focuses on is you.

you’re sat on a chair, you look unharmed but shaken up and jake wants to immediately run over but is forced to wait as captain holt shouts to the criminals, “put your gun down and put your hands above your head.”

you’re watching jake and jake’s watching you, small steps forward before each men are being cuffed until he sprints over towards you – meeting you in a bone-crushing hug. “i was only gone four hours,” jake admires your way to chuckle in this moment and he nuzzles his nose into your neck, holding the back of your head.

“are you alright, babe?” jake asks, pulling back to look at you properly. “yeah. the only thing he did was push me into the car but apart from that i’m okay.”

your giggle is cut off with a long kiss, jake holding your face as he desperately moves his lips against yours, mumbling a low, “i’m sorry.” you pull back, eyebrows frowning and hands shaking against his chest, “why are you sorry?”

“it’s my fault, i should never have agreed for you to go in alone. next time we are going to play it safe and-” before he can continue, you’re kissing jake again, shakily but causing him to melt anyway. you hold his hand as you’re all guided out, “maybe if i wasn’t such a good feminist…” jake trails off, eyes gazing hopeful towards you but all you do is amusingly shake your head and nudge your boyfriend, kissing his cheek as your glad to be back beside him

amorchai masterlist . taglist form

amorchai © ─ all rights reserved. no reposting/translating/copying will be tolerated.

[humming-fly]

Who better to trust with a secret than a known liar?

anyways my apologies to b99 and happy countdown to the magolor bullying simulator release later this month! 

[writings-of-a-demigod]

“Well hello cutie” you bend down to pet the dog that came your way “Who’s the cutest dog ever? You are!”

Jake came from the store looking for you, you were supposed to be right behind him. He found you outside petting the dog.

“Are you coming or not?” he asked getting your attention.

You looked up at him “Okay I’m coming, don’t get your panties in a twist.”

You said bye to the dog and went inside to talk to the owner. It was a B&E case both you and Jake got the case to work together. After you’re done with your talk, you asked Jake if he can stop by the coffee shop to get you both coffees. You waited in the car when you saw another dog on the sidewalk.

Jake walked out of the coffee shop to see that you weren’t in the car.

“Damn it Y/n where are you?” he looked around and there you were petting a dog and feeding it a hot dog you get from the vender.

“Come on Y/n we’re leaving!” he said loudly, and you just gave the dog one last pet and got in the car.

There you two were sitting at Jake’s desk sharing theories on who the thief was and looking through profiles, when jake stopped and he was looking at you.

“Ok I gotta ask” he started.

You looked up from the file and raised your eyebrow at him.

“What’s your deal with dogs?”

 “I just love dogs!” You smiled at him and he couldn’t help smiling back.

“Oh I know you don’t have to convince me” he chuckled a little “But like why is it every time you see a dog you just have to pet it? I’ve seen you pet five dogs today alone”

You got closer to his face and looked at him deep in his eyes “because every dog deserves all the pets in the world Jake” you said in a serious tone then backed away and smiled at him “I can’t help it, I’ve always wanted a dog and I never got one”.

And that’s why after the case Jake surprised you with a trip to the shelter to adopt any dog you want, the one rule was: you can choose only one. And that took you hours to decide, but nonetheless you were happy about it.

[specialagentlokitty]

B99 x reader - slightly twisted

Hello. Can I please request the Brooklyn 99 team X reader? Reader works with them and is very kind and friendly with everyone, but occasionally they would say something that scares everyone (including Rosa) For example, everyone is trying to figure out how to get a suspect in interrogation to talk, and out of the blue (Y/N) says "give me 10 minutes with a car battery, I'll make him talk". - Anon💜

Standing in the conference room, you weren’t really paying much attention to what was going on, but you did slightly pay attention to Rosa and Jake trying to figure out how to get their suspect to talk.

“You’ve already tried annoying him, it didn’t work idiot.” Rosa snapped.

“Well you threatening him didn’t work either!” Jake huffed.

You flicked through your paper work.

“Give me ten minutes with a car battery, I’ll make him talk.”

Rosa and Jake snapped their heads towards you, and you looked at them, giving them the sweetest smile they had ever seen.

Gathering your papers, you happily walked outside and they shared a look.

“They’re twisted…” Jake mumbled.

“Seriously twisted…” Rosa agreed.

You had a quiet personality, but you were ever so sweet, always smiling and willing to do anything to help.

But out of the blue, you would so something so disturbing or terrifying, it put everybody in the precinct on edge.

It wasn’t often you did it, but you always did it at the most unexpected times.

For the next hour you sat at your desk, the you got up to make coffee, walking into the break room where everybody else was sat.

You stared intensely at the coffee pot.

“What’re you doing?” Charles asked.

“Thinking.”

“About what?” He asked.

Everybody shouted at him, and you began to calmly pour your coffee.

“Nobody knows when they’re going to die, unless they’re murdered. Then there is one person who knew the exact time you died at, you wouldn’t even know that you’re dead, you would just be dead. We could all be dead right now.”

You sipped at your coffee, setting your cup on the table you walked to your fridge to get your lunch.

You pulled out two boxes and handed one to Jake before sitting down.

“I want you to speak to a psychiatrist.” Holt said.

You looked at him, tilting your head a little.

“Why?”

“You are very disturbed.”

“He’s right, some of the stuff you say is horrifying.” Terry nodded.

You looked the them all.

“You even scare Rosa.”

You turned to Rosa, and she shrugged a little bit.

“I thought I was disturbed.” She said.

You shrugged a bit, going back to eating your lunch, sharing some of your food for Scully and Hitchcock who were lingering nearby.

You sat inside your own head again.

“I want a burger.” You said.

“Go get one.” Amy said.

“Oh! Let us come!” Scully begged.

You agreed, walking with them to get a burger from around the corner before walking back.

Everybody was standing in the bullpen near the vulture as he tried to take the next case from someone.

“It was funny!” He laughed.

“It was a hearse! Don’t you have any respect?!” Amy snapped.

The man shrugged a little and you sat on your desk to watch them.

“What did he do?”

“I happened to laugh as a hearse went buy holding the victim, it doesn’t mean I don’t sympathise. I just don’t care.”

You took a bite of your burger and stared at the man, and the other looked at you.

“You shouldn’t laugh at something like that.”

“Oh I don’t want your philosophy lecture just give me the damn case.”

You looked back at your food, slapping Jakes hand as he tired to snatch it from you.

“One day you’ll day, and you’ll be in a hearse. You could die tomorrow, and you’ll be thrown in a hole and left to rot, bones turning to dust and bugs calling your body home.”

The whole floor went quiet.

“We all go to the same place when we die, in the ground to be worm food, so I don’t see why you act like you’re better, you’re not. You’re just another walking sack of worm feast.”

The vulture made a gagging noise, and he stepped away from you.

“Seriously, what’s wrong with you?” He asked.

You looked up at him.

Your smile turned into a sickening grin as your stared into his eyes.

“I like scaring people.”

“That’s not hot. I’m gone.”

He quickly left and you went back to eating.

“Disturbing but useful apparently.” Rosa said.

They all looked at you and shuddered a little bit as you began to hum a twisted song under your breath.

You were the most lethal member of the squad, you didn’t need guns to bring someone down, no.

You just needed to talk, and that would be enough to make anyone confess or turn themselves in, just to escape the pure twisted truth that you generally talked about.

You had no filter, no thought process, and an unlimited supply of strange and twisted information

[veryberryjelly]

lines of gold

jake peralta x fem!reader

lyric prompt ; 'closed eyes & closed blinds' - fast times - sabrina carpenter

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ⚜︎ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

time off was a rarity, and you didnt take it lightly.

both yourself and jake had been racking up some vacation days and had booked a week off 4 months in advance.

and you had been looking forward to the week off since you started talking about it.

a week away from everything, just you and jake.

the two of you had chosen to go to mexico for your vacation. somewhere warm and interesting. you could lounge around all day or go out and do something and that was just perfect for the two of you.

so far, in 2 and a half days, you had just been lounging around in your hotel, enjoying not having to get up every morning and not having any agenda for the day.

day three didnt look like it was going to be any different.

you were woken up by the sun creeping through the blinds you could've sworn you shut before you went to bed last night, but apparently not.

you turned over to avoid the seemly blinding light, and you were met with the sight of your boyfriend in his rumpled morning state.

his curls were a mess onto of his head, his face free of worry, the sunlight dusting over his features to make him look truly angelic.

a smile settled on your lips.

you decided to put aside your thoughts of going back to sleep and instead rested your head onto of your arm as you watched the movement of jake's chest rising and falling.

you couldn't pinpoint how long you had been watching him, but the sun had shifted to brighten his closed eyes by the time he woke up.

he turned towards your body to hide from the light, and instead was met with the stretch of mattress between you.

the cold cotton caused his eyes to squint open in search of the woman he was certain he had fallen asleep beside.

he seemed to relax when he caught sight of you just another two inches over.

" were you watching me sleep ?"

you let a soft laugh huff past your lips.

" no ." you insisted, though you were sure it wasn't convincing.

jake said nothing in retaliation and instead just stretched his arm out to pull you across the gap in the mattress and into his chest.

you didnt resist, instead wrapped your arms around his torso as his lips pressed into your forehead, both of your eyes shielded from the lines of light bleeding through the blinds.

@sparklymazzy @flwrguts123

[deathofacupid]

stupid | jake peralta

a/n: apparently gina's character has haters...

summary: he's an idiot, and you can't help but worry for him.

warnings: cursing, petty y/n (sorry in advance)

pairing: fem!reader x jake peralta (enemies but lovers)

word count: 2.5k+ words

"no, because you're an idiot!"

"i had him!" jake argues back. look at him, thinking he's all smart and crap.

"you quite literally did not," you throw your hands up, exasperated, "he would've blown off your head!"

"he wouldn't have! i would've talked him down!"

"oh, yeah, because you're just so charming," your voice oozes with sarcasm.

"i'll have you know that i am, in fact, quite charming."

"i don't want to even know what your definition of charming is."

"it's-"

"i said i don't want to know. and that's not even the point. how did we get here?"

"because you claimed-"

"it was rhetorical! the point is that you were being stupid and reckless!"

"what about you? is there, like, no trust in this relationship? fine, i might've been a little... but- but it doesn't matter! i could've got him! he wouldn't have shot me."

"yes, he-"

"nuh-uh!"

"yeah!"

"nu-"

"look, peralta. for once in your life, think with your head, not your junk."

he paused, squinting an eye, "uh, spontaneousness is... hot?"

"having my partner bleeding out on the ground, and i hate to break it to you, is not hot."

"subjective."

"it's really not."

"that's also subjective."

"what's also subjective?"

"your opinion on the subjectiveness is subjective, 'kay?"

you pinch the bridge of your nose. "jacob-"

"'jacob'?" he whines. "that's never good."

"-it's not even about your stupid, rash decisions. i'm your partner for this case. you can't just- just go off without me. we work together, you know that. storming into an active crime scene - mind you, with armed shooters-"

"well, if they're shooter, aren't they already armed?"

you give him a look (the millionth one that day). "jake, i am not kidding. and honestly, you shouldn't be either. this whole," you vaugely gesture to him, "childish personality was cute at first, but i'm getting real damn sick of it. grow. up. everyone already has. it's your turn," you jab him in the chest with your finger, jaw clenched.

"okay, wait, so it's not hot?" he calls to you as you storm out. he wasn't really expecting an answer, but jake was disappointed anyways.

you do your best to avoid him the rest of the week, and yes, the silent treatment is petty, but he needs to know you're being legit about this. otherwise, he'll never get it.

you don't want him to get over-confident and pull crap like that. up until now, someone's always had his back.

but what if one day, they just don't?

"mm, i'm thinking there's a little trouble in paradise," gina says, pointing at you, then jake from across the bar.

another case had just been solved, and it was a big one. and who doesn't like to get shit-faced drunk?

not many people, actually.

and, hey, maybe this is what you need. a chance to loosen up, and just for once, not think about that fight.

a chance to loosen up by sulking alone is what you mean, not gina prodding you about your relationship problems.

"okay, well, you go take that big brain of yours and think somewhere else."

"or - and hear me out - you tell me what's going on. i think we should go with the latter."

you sigh, is there any way you're getting out of this? you peer over her shoulder, trying to find amy.

"it's no use, my friend," she says, "we are offically on drink three amy."

"aw, man." from past experience, third drink amy was not helpful amy. you think you like helpful amy better.

much, much better.

especially now.

"now, spilll."

"ugh, fine," you say, as you down another two shots. if you're gonna talk about this, you're gonna need some background help.

"ooh, and she's going down from there," gina whispers.

"jake was being stupid, i got mad at jake for being stupid, jake is mad at me - because, and get this, he thinks i'm the stupid one!" you scoff, "i mean, come on! like, sorry i saved your ass, my bad. won't happen again!"

when you look over at him, he's talking with terry. completely unaffected! it's like, how dare he.

"oh, my god. gina, do you see that? look. at. him." he's laughing with terry and charles, as if nothing ever happened. you did not spend an entire week being petty for nothing.

you grind your teeth and turn back to the bar.

"i'll be honest with you, i have a feeling he doesn't realize you're mad at him."

"i've been avoiding him... all week."

"uh, you might have to step up your game."

"or don't do that," rosa says from beside you, making you jump.

"when did you even get here?" you splutter.

"i'm a good cop."

"or just a really scary ninja," you mutter.

gina tilts her head, "yeah, but if you're over here, who's watching amy?"

rosa blinks, "jake, i guess."

you've never almost snapped your neck that hard. you narrow your eyebrows, "four drink amy."

"is she..." gina pauses, "dirty-talking him?"

"she's drunk," rosa reminds you, to which you nod. "yeah, duh, of course. i can see that. um, very well."

gina cackles, "now, it's how jake responds - that's what matters."

"this is the saddest thing thing i've seen all day."

you shoo her, not looking her direction, "shhh, rosie." she swats your hand away, but you're too busy to notice.

"y/n, he's literally getting her water."

"damn him for being such a gentleman," you mutter.

"jake? gentleman? isn't his sense of humor literally just poop jokes?" you ignore gina's remark too.

you watch charles gently guide amy to a booth in the back, and then your attention is back on jake.

jake and the hot blonde beside him.

gina nods, "and the plot thickens."

"god," you scowl, "look at her with her prada. i hate rich people."

diaz snorts, "think you might be projecting there?"

"definitely," you tell her.

"it looks like small talk, y/n."

"who's side you on, diaz?"

she puts her hands up in mock surrender. "no one's. i'm just doing you a favor by not feeding into your delusions."

"where's sober amy when you need her?" you groan.

"what would you need her for?"

"lip-reading, duh."

"...right," rosa blinks.

you whine, "holdling grudges are so hard."

"they really aren't," diaz shrugs.

"why can't he just be not dumb? do you know how much easier that would make my life. hint: much, much, easier. like, scale out of to ten; 12, easier."

"terry has a wife, right?"

"is that rhetorical? or are you really asking? because he never shuts up about his wife and kids."

"do you think-" you start.

"that he could help you figure out what's happening between the two of you?" a deeper voice says.

"god!" you exclaim, "you guys just come out of nowhere!"

"well, terry would love to help you."

"okay, first, i was gonna say 'help me by talking sense into him', not have a couple's counseling."

"i think you should talk to him," terry says.

"no, no, you should talk to him. he totally started this."

"what happened?"

you frown, "n-"

"nothing is not a valid answer. because, trust me, everyone at the precinct know it's something."

"everyone?" you squeak.

"everyone," he confirms.

"i second that," rosa adds, "you guys are normally on top of each other."

"...yeah," gina winces, recalling the storage room incident.

"you really think i should just talk to him?"

"i do."

you tug your bottom lip between your teeth, debating this. "i just... i feel like if i talk to him... he'll automatically think i'm okay with it. like i'm letting it go or something."

terry gives you one of those looks, "maybe that's why you should talk to him."

you pause for a moment longer, before deciding he's right.

ignoring him has done nothing, which is the opposite of what you're intent was. you want everything to be okay again, so maybe the silent treatment isn't the right thing.

you have to try somthing else.

and, by the looks of it, it's talking to him.

you slid off the barstool, playing with the end of your hair as you approach him.

maybe if you'd gotten up a little earlier, as his girlfriend, that stupid blonde wouldn't think it was okay to shamelessly flirt with him. you raise an eyebrow as she rest a hand on his bicep, and he does nothing to stop her.

does he not realize she's clearly feeling him up?

you turn back to your small group of friend, giving them a look that says "what now?".

before any of them can respond, someone taps your shoulder. "jesus! what's with scaring the shit out of me today?"

you except it to be hitchcock or scully so you can let some hot air out by screaming at them. it is not in fact either of those to.

standing in front of you is the literal definition of tall, dark, and handsome. "i'm a good cop!" you blurt.

"sorry if i startled you," oh god, he's british too.

if you weren't dating jake, you'd be all over this guy. but honestly, he doesn't hold a candle to your boyfriend.

but... does he know that?

you put on a polite smile as you shake your head. "no, i'm all good."

"cool, then," he remarks, leaning against the slab of the bar. okay, okay, slick. "one kamikaze, please." the man turns to look at you, "mind if i get you something?"

"sure," you brush a strand of hair behind your ear. "i'll have..." you scrunch up your nose, "the same thing."

"it's a margarita. just vodka instead."

"pft, i knew that."

he laughs, and it feels so... practiced. like he's done it a thousand times before, nothing but for stage presence. your eyes flit over him, and by his watch, you can tell that just might be the case.

"vincent, by the way." man, rich person name too.

"y/n," you say, shaking his hand. "nice to meet you."

"wow, pretty name for a pretty girl."

you pretend to giggle, squeezing his arm gently. how cliched was that line?

"you're so sweet." you can see jake seething at vincent, and you give him nothing but a petty look.

his attention is clearly not on the girl anymore, and it's just the way you like it.

you decide to indulge in this further, "where you from, pretty boy?" wait, was that too much? too late.

he chuckles, "london, sweets."

"oh, wow. what're you doing all the way over here?"

"ah, just work things."

"really? what's your job?"

"v.p. for a finance company. you?"

"nypd," you say.

"interesting."

you blink, "why?"

"i just- well, you don't see too many female cops. it's more of a... male-dominated thing, you know? and for good reason, i bet," he laughs like it's this insanely funny thing, and you follow along.

"hey, baby," jake comes up beside you, arm around your waist.

"oh, so now i'm 'baby'."

vincent looks from you to him, then back at you.

"you've always been 'baby'!"

"have i? because you looked like you forgot that, over with that blondie."

"are you serious? i wasn't even-"

"great," vincent mutters.

"she's was flirting with you!"

"she really wasn't!"

you give him a look. "okay, so maybe she was, but i swear i didn't know. like, she asked me about that dimond heist! and it's the coolest story to tell!"

"c'mon, you really didn't know? you always know!"

"what's that supposed to mean?"

"it means you can't keep it in your pants and, for some reason, you're proud of it!"

"what about you? you, and i know for a fact, were all giggly with this guy!"

"i think i'll be heading out-"

"don't you dare even move, vinny."

"seriously? vinny?" jake scoffs.

"and i was only over here because i thought you were flirting with her!"

"so it's some stupid, petty, misunderstanding?"

"stupid? oh-ho, you want stupid, jakey? what's stupid is trying to take on an armed criminal while unarmed."

"god, this again? i told you i had it!"

"guys!" you call to rosa and boyle, "enlighten us - him - did jake really 'have it'?"

neither of them respond. in fact, charles finds the rim of his shot glass very interesting.

"that's what i thought," you say, finishing your shot and slamming it down.

you march right out, and it's not until you make it out that you realize you rallied the attention of everyone in there.

a part of you feels really stupid, but another part is just mad. why doesn't he get that his actions have consequences?

"y/n?"

you quickly wipe away your tears.

"go away. i'm going home," you rummage through your purse for keys. you may have forgotten that you drove here.

"no, you're not. you're intoxinated."

"fuck off."

"it would've been so much cooler if you said 'fuck you'."

"wh- oh, my god."

"sorry, sorry! look, you're right. i didn't want to admit it before, but you are."

"because of your hero complex?"

"i don't- oh."

"yeah," you sniff.

"hey," he says, pulling you in for a hug. he smells like jake, like home. not your house, your home. resting his chin on the top of your head, you're tucked into his neck. "i didn't even know she was f-"

"jake, it's not about her. you know that."

he sighs, "i just don't get it. i mean, it's my job. and my job is dangerous."

"yeah, and you're right. the hostage thing was dangerous, but it didn't have to be that dangerous. if you would've given me just two minutes, i would've been there. i could've helped. you didn't need to do all that."

"what if in that two minutes, they hurt someone?"

"they were so obviously busy. they wouldn't have done anything. they were... dumb. and you just wanted to make your 'cool enterance'."

"okay, yeah, that was part of the reason. but i needed you to trust me."

"and i needed you to keep me in the loop. you just went, i mean, i didn't even find out until you were there."

"alright, i'm sorry. but i'm okay. i'll always be, right? because i've got you," he pauses, "that was cute, right?"

you pull away, "i might not always be there. you got lucky! jake, you... you could've died." your voice breaks, and you don't do anything to conceal it.

"aww, hey," he coos, bringing you back in. "i'm... i'm sorry. seriously, i really am. i didn't know you were worried about that. i thought you were just mad at me for keeping you... in the dark, a little."

"of course i was worried, jakey. you're my boyfriend, and i love you. i don't- i don't know what i'd do if you died out there. so, maybe in hindsight, dating my co-worker wasn't a good a idea."

"i'll be more careful from now on, i promise. it won't happen again," jake finishes, kissing your forehead. "and i love you too."

"okay," you sigh, content.

"does this mean we can have hot, angsty make-up sex?"

"why would it be angsty?"

"is that a no?"

ask to be added to the jake peralta tag-list!

[daddiesdrarryy]

Pansy: You’re gonna ace this test

Hermione: You think that because you love me, and love has made you dumb

Pansy: I disagree. If anything, love has made me smarter. Remember last week when I boiled that egg?

Hermione: That was big. I was really proud of you

[writings-of-a-demigod]

Jake walked towards you well more like excited fast walk while trying to hide his smile, he sat down on the chair next to your desk.

Without looking at him you asked “What do you want Peralta?”

“I’m pranking someone. Want in?”

Your head wiped so fast looking at him “Who are we pranking?”

His smile got so big “Some idiots at the 6-5 precinct who made fun of Terry many many years ago and now they shall face the master of pranks.”

“Okay first you’re not the ‘master of pranks’ I am.”

He made a face.

“And second what do you have in mind? Because I sure have the perfect prank for this.” You smiled at him and he smiled back.

Terry was walking towards Holt’s office when he saw you two smiling and whispering like you’re little demons.

“Hey” he yelled to get your attention.

The two of you looked at him and stopped smiling.

“What are you two planning?” his eyebrow raised.

“Nothing” Both Jake and you said at the same time smiling at him.

He gave you one concerned look then went inside Holt’s office.

*gif doesn't belong to me*