#b/c then the fun can really begin

[gentlemanjuniper]

If I could inject just a little positivity to the news...

Season 2 has a lot of filler and stretches out a pretty simple mystery to six episodes. That's the appeal to some, I get it. But tightness and focus was not its strong suit. I remember feeling like it wasted a ton of time on side characters and it's possible shaving the story down to 90 minutes will skim things down to its most essential beats and be stronger for it. Basically, S2 got a lot of time given to it, and this is obviously my personal opinion but I don't think it used all of it well. I think S2 itself could have been half the length simply by employing more efficient storytelling and we'd not mourn too much.

A lot of S2's weaker plotlines feel built around people that Neil wanted to work with again, with so many recurring actors (I'm thinking of the zombies specifically, when that minisode could have easily been tighter without them). A lot of s2 to me feels like Neil just making work for the people he likes and wants to work with and a movie has to be more accountable to things like that.

Lots of entire fandoms exist around single movies. 90 minutes is not nothing. It's enough for many, many films to tell a complete story with cute character interactions and satisfying emotional arcs, especially when A&C are the only real significant connecting threads between both seasons thus far.

I don't think there are as many loose threads that absolutely need resolving as people may be thinking. Would I like to know why Aziraphale did the '40s apology dance? Would I like to see his bookshop gun? Sure. Are either of those necessarily essential to closing out the story? I don't think so. Really, what needs resolving is the second coming and, directly connected to that, Aziraphale and Crowley's rift. To me, not knowing the story obviously, that seems super reasonable to do in 90 minutes?

I don't think anyone involved in the final season can possibly be blind to the appeal of the show being Aziraphale and Crowley over anything else. That's certainly the reason why their roles were expanded to begin with from the book and why the second season was, nominally, all about them. They also now have to pay MS and DT for appearing in a movie rather than an ensemble show, there's no way they won't be front and center. Amazon wants a show that will make money and market itself; there's a reason why all the promo material for S2 was of Crowley and Aziraphale, because people engage with that stuff, reblog it, make art that promotes the show, etc. It makes no artistic or financial sense to make a movie that sidelines them.

GO is at its best when it has Terry's voice most strongly in it. That's why to me, S2 was a weaker, more meandering season overall (that, and I think the minisodes, while fun, just make the season feel comprised of different voices not always working in tandem towards a common goal). If I was a writer hired to condense a season into a film, and one of the authors had been rightfully disgraced, I would go out of my way to ensure the clearly Terry stuff is most significantly emphasized. It's telling to me that the Pratchett estate is producing and it's possible that the end result will result in more Terry, less Neil.

Think of it this way: everything we've gotten after S1 has always been extra. Imagine telling a fan of the book in the 90s that not only will you get a six episode adaptation, you also get a totally new second season, AND a movie?

Basically: I know this is disappointing but I think a lot of the pleasure of the Good Omens fandom was ALWAYS people picking up on and expanding on details, and y'all managed to do that just fine when A&C were only ensemble members in S1. You can and will do that with a movie too. And this solution both a) ensures first and foremost that Neil won't be involved or the allegations swept under the rug, and b) gives an opportunity for the heart of the story to be emphasized with greater focus, clarity and less filler.

Will we lose good stuff? Probably. But it's also possible we will get a tighter, more condensed, focused version of the best bits, the Terry Pratchett-est bits. I can easily see a 90 minute movie that, knowing they HAVE to focus on the important stuff now, is more Crowley and Aziraphale centric than ever.

[goldenstring6123]

Hiii, my request is an ABC nsfw from each of the LaDS men, because I've been following you since the beginning and I ended up being curious about how you think they act during sex (If you could do Zayne's first I would be very grateful 🙏) I LOVE YOUR WRITINGS!!! (Sorry for any grammatical errors, English is not my first language)

Zayne: NSFW alphabet

Warning: 18+ only, MDNI!, Fem!reader, Full of sex related stuff: Toys, Kinks, Positions, preferences, etc. Read at your own risk!

Author's note: This is really fun to make but it's really long so I'll do individual posts. I was wondering what nsfw abc is and boy am I sooooo— heheh anyways, thank u for making this request pookie! #nsfweds

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Zayne will alternate between bathing you or simply wiping you down with a damp cloth. in order for Zayne to bathe you, you must be awake, or at least half awake, but this is a bit of a risky situation because things might also become 'steamy' in the bathroom.

If he has worn you out or had knocked you out cold, he would wipe you down with a cloth and move you to the other bedroom, then change the sheets in yours and move you back. Zayne would always make sure you rest with at least your underwear and a shirt on because he doesn't want you catching a cold.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Their favorite body part of you is your breasts and chest area. When you're on his lap, straddling him, he likes to bury his face in between your cleavage. Being close to your heart is something he likes to do physically, and when you orgasm, he likes feeling your pussy pulse at the same time as your heart.

Their favorite body part is their own hands. His hands may have scars, but that adds to the beauty of it. His fingers are long, and he keeps his nails neat, and because of this, he's able to reach places where you couldn't when you finger yourself. Plus, you like sucking on his fingers and intertwining it with yours when you're so lost in your mind.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

His cum alternates between opaque and thick to a bit thin and watery, depending on if he's managed to masturbate within the week. When Zayne wears a condom, he cums inside of you quite fearlessly, and you can feel his dick twitch while it spurts out the semen. When he doesn't wear a condom or when he decides to take it off, he likes spurting it on your lower abdomen and stomach. To which he'll use it to lubricate his dick again and pound into you. He's the type of guy whose body twitches when he ejaculates. He thrusts roughly and buries himself in you, only to tremble while he savors his high.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Zayne likes to see you squirt like a fountain. He likes how you write under his grasp while he keeps your legs still. He likes it when you cry that you can't stop cumming when he continues to lap your pussy, or when he continues to push through your orgasm. When you thrust your hip up, and your fluids spray on the bed—Zayne's mind is in a trance.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Fairly inexperienced, a virgin even—he knows what he needs to know through 'research', but a little guide from you would go a long way. He's a fast learner and a bit experimental (surprisingly), so he gets the hang of it in no time. You almost forgot that he's a newbie in just three months in.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Zayne likes two positions. First is the butterfly position, where one or both of your legs are over Zayne's shoulders. This position allows him to go deep while still being able to see your full body and touch you elsewhere. Moreover, he likes that he can seamlessly transition to a mating press if he wants to go rougher on you.

The second position that he likes is when you simply straddle his lap and move to satisfy yourself. He won't tell you this for some reason, but he likes it because you get to do the work while his hands can grope and knead your ass while kissing each other deeply.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It's always serious when it's Zayne. Passionate, intimate, and caught in the moment are words that describe what it's like to make love. Although he genuinely admires your sense of humor, Zayne's in charge of making you happy in the bedroom.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

The carpets match the drapes, and Zayne has hair but not by a lot. He grooms them well, but at weeks when he can't afford to take care of himself, sometimes, you can see the hair creep up to his belly button, which is absolutely hot.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

Very intimate. Almost all moments of Sex with Zayne will be intimate as you both want it and desire each other to the fullest, even just sex on regular days. That being said, there is an exception, which is when you're both hot-headed or frustrated: then you just use each other like a sex toy until you're both worn out, to which you'll make love intimately soon after.

J = Jack off (masturbation head-canon)

Contrary to what one may expect, he always finds a way to jack off; he needs to, especially with you so easily flaunting your body in his house or even just by sending him too sexy of pictures of you in his old college long coat. Half of the time, he distracts himself from the growing and throbbing hard on but the rest of the time, he'd excuse himself to the toilet or go on a quick shower run to jack off until he gets everything out of his system.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Secret Kink:

Alcohol kink - Zayne doesn't like to do things to you when you're inebriated because, to him, it's improper to touch a lady when they're not in their right mind. but when it's the other way around, he gets off of it. He gets tipsy for sure, but it amplifies his senses, and he can't focus on anything but the woman who's riding him to their own pleasure.

Well known kink:

Power play - It doesn't matter who takes the lead. Zayne would like it if you pushed him against the wall and rubbed yourself up all over him while you gave him orders not to touch you. It breaks his rational thinking when you yank on his tie and speak to him as if you're his superior. He's willing to follow your every whim and command. On his more erotic days, Zayne gives the orders, and you must oblige without fail because he's quite harsh and doesn't hesitate to give you consequences while cooing at you, be it by edging, orgasm denial, or breaking your orgasm.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The bedroom. Because it's intimate, your body will be less sore in the bedroom because the mattress is soft and has many pillows to support your back. but of course, if neither of you can hold back, Zayne can do you anywhere as long as it's secluded. It could be his office, the hospital bathroom, or a hotel room with a full city view.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Zayne is turned on when you're acting all innocent and coy while rubbing against him "accidentally" and showing your assets in front of him, and somehow choosing the most revealing combination of house clothing and coincidentally wearing matching lingerie underneath your uniform.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Dislikes asphyxiation. He simply can't imagine choking you in bed, and the mere thought of you even fainting sends his stomach churning in the wrong direction. The bruises that one could get on their neck were even more appalling in his eyes. He knows it's a play, but he genuinely cannot allow himself to do it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

A perfect balance of both. When you're stressed out, he likes to eat you out before having sex. When he's the one who's stressed out, you give him a handjob or blowjob but you never finish as he'd personally prefer cumming using your pussy.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It varies on the mood, situation, and both of your conditions.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies happen a lot before you go to work. Who wouldn't be tempted when their partner looks all so dapper and composed while you still bask in the high of last night's memory? A small kiss won't hurt, right? maybe add a blowjob while you're at it? Oh, who's the both of you kidding? Of course, you'll both end up on the couch with Zayne being 30 minutes in his early arrival.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He plays safe, but if he loses a bet or you manage to convince him through some special means, then he will play along as long as whatever you are doing is safe and doesn't cost his dignity too much.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

On days when he's stressed, he needs to ejaculate quickly, and this could happen within 10 to 15 minutes. If he's more relaxed and wants to take his time with you, he could go for around 25 minutes before cumming and needing a break. By then, you would've orgasmed twice or thrice, depending on if Zayne is aiming for the right spots.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Zayne has a tenga cup which he used even before you got together. When you get together, he rarely uses it, but when you accidentally find it tucked under the bed, you would sometimes greet his morning boner by using the toy on him. When you're mad at him and bind him to the bed, you'd also torture him with it by edging him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Your lover doesn't like to tease. He gets straight to the point.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

His breaths are very audible. You can hear him losing his breath in the middle of thrusts, and you can hear him let out a groan when you squeeze your insides on purpose. When you just feel too good, and he's really sensitive, he will let out a long moan while looking up into the ceiling, basking in the sensation.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

As much as he advocates for safe sex, he doesn't like using condoms, but he still does. To him, you were tight and warm, which is good and all but with even that .001 thin condom, he really just can't feel all of you

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Well, chiseled abs, a prominent v line, and a back full of claw marks.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

When you got together, you would think that he's the type to be low-key with his sex drive, but you were proven wrong when you get pounded every other night. He lasts longer than you, too, and can make you orgasm beyond the number of fingers you have in one hand.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Zayne never falls alseep before you. You don't know where he pulls the energy from especially during seasons where the hospital is extremely busy. Sometimes, you manage to stay half awake to see him take care of you, but there are also times when you just drift off mid-sex after a toe-curling orgasm.

Author's footnotes: Hehe I like doing stuff like these, it allows me to get into the nitty gritty details of the character~ will be updating this post with the oink to the other characters once I upload them.

Layout by me using canva premium | Do not repost

[kolsmikaelson]

— MIKE SCHMIDT NSFW ALPHABET

— a/n - like everyone else the josh hutcherson renaissance got me too and i’ve been obsessed with him and this was a product of that, hope you enjoy!

— warning(s) - 18+ mdni, somewhat implied afab!reader, not proofread

join my taglist or follow @rodrickhefley to see when i post!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

doesn’t know much about aftercare at the beginning of your relationship but a few months in you’ve figured out what works best for the both of you which is usually a warm washcloth some water and a sometimes a nice bath if you’re both up for it but if not cuddles it is

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

his arms and hands would probably be his favorite (because he knows how much you like them) and his favorite body part of yours would probably be your eyes

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he’s gotten off multiple times just by pleasuring you, it could be him going down on you or fingering you or something else it doesn’t matter just making you feel good makes him feel good

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

has gotten turned on by the way that you take care of him so well, he’s always busy taking care of abby but who's there to take care of him?

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he wasn’t a virgin when the two of you got together but he also wasn’t the most experienced. sure he’d fucked around some but he was always too busy

F = Favorite position ( goes without saying)

anything where he can see your face clearly so he can see how good he can make you feel and so that he can kiss you easier

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he doesn’t try to be goofy but in the beginning he was more often than not

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

not super groomed but not incredibly messy either, again something you helped him figure out because it was something he didn’t care about before you

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

so sweet and giving and loving. he’s always making sure you’re alright, makes sure you remember the safe word you put in place before anything really starts, checks on you throughout the entire thing no matter what

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

used to jack off because it was all he had the time for until he met you and there still isn't always a lot of time for anything more but you have no issue helping him out

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

mommy kink, spit (giving or receiving but mostly receiving), praise (giving and receiving)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

his room or the shower mostly because of the privacy it gives you but he’s brought you to the pizzeria once of twice for some fun

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

genuinely everything about you gets him going it’s so easy to rile him up

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

nothing too dark, no bodily fluids (minus spit and cum)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

loves giving but loves receiving more

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

really depends. sometimes it’s fast and needy and messy other times it’s soft and slow and incredibly intimate

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

loves taking his time but quickies are all you two have time for more often than not, whether it be in the mornings in bed before you get up for the day or right before a date night that rare time vanessa is able to watch abby for a couple of hours

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

yes and no. depending on what it is he’s hesitant because he’s nervous of hurting you

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

judging by how little he sleeps, probably 2, 3 if you're lucky. if you want more then you’ll have to wait a little while

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he owns a few but he rarely uses any on himself he much prefers using a vibrator on you

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

doesn’t hate being teased but loves to be the one doing the teasing

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

oh he’s so loud, he’s whiny and is always whimpering

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

this wouldn’t happen often but one time after he sees the way you look at her, he asks if you’d want to have a threesome with vanessa. the two of them would be so focused on you and little to nothing would actually happen between them because all their attention is on you but vanessa ended up in your bed a few more times after that

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he’s a bit above average but makes up for it in girth

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

so high after so long of just using his hand or a toy but it dies down a little bit after a few months

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

if it had been a particularly rough day he might fall asleep within the hour but i can see him still taking a while to fall asleep

© kolsmikaelson : please do not copy, repost, or modify any of my content.

dividers made by : @.cafekitsune

[judesprincess]

fuffly alphabet – Jude Bellingham

note: hii babes, how are you? here im again hehe. an anon asked me for a fuffly alphabet so here it is... just remembering that English is not my first language, so please ignore the grammar and spelling mistakes... also, please let me know if you like it or not! kisses 💋

just a reminder that this is just imaginary and i don't know jude bellingham so i don't know what he's really like

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

you see, jude is without a doubt an affectionate man, but for me (I might be crazy), he might have a little trouble showing it (at the beginning of the relationship); I feel like it's harder for him to show affection romantically than when it comes to family/friends

but of course, have no doubt that as your relationship progresses, that man will have no qualms about showing how affectionate he can be at all times

b = best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

it would definitely be something jude would appreciate a lot. Being an extremely famous soccer player has its advantages, but at the same time it brings with it a lot of self-interested people who don't really care about him and just want fame. So when he realizes that you're not one of those people and that you really want to get to know Jude the person and not "Jude Bellingham," it will certainly be something fantastic for him and he will be very happy because he also wants to get to know you and he wants you to get to know him as he really is. Obviously, at first he wouldn't open up right away. When I think of Jude, I imagine a very smart and even suspicious man, someone who is not easy to impress or figure out, so I imagine it would be something gradual. He would let you in little by little and that would make everything more real and interesting.

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

he certainly loves giving and receiving affection, especially when he is intimate with the person; he's clearly someone who grew up in a structured family and who always provided him with affection and love, so I think he has no problem showing it to someone he cares about/loves

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

jude is a young man who clearly likes to hang out and have fun, but I feel like he would definitely become more domestic with you (which is what I would want if I were with him, since I hate going out) and would definitely love to spend a lot of quality time with you, whether it's watching a movie or talking or even enjoying some good food

as for housework, to be honest, I don't think he's very good at it lol and he definitely doesn't know how to cook, as he himself has said (we would go hungry because I'm not a good cook either); I think you could have a little work with him in that aspect, but with time he would get the hang of it, as you teach him (and push him a little too lol)

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

he would definitely do it in a direct and honest way, as painful as it may be; I can't imagine him procrastinating or trying to smooth things over. if you broke up because it wasn't working out anymore or because you didn't have feelings, he would handle it better, but if it was because of lack of time or any other reason that forced you to break up, I don't think he would know how to handle it very well (even if he had been the one to break up)

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quickly would they want to get married?)

i don't think jude is against marriage, but i think he certainly doesn't think about it right now. he's clearly 100% focused on his growing career and enjoying his youth so even if he was completely in love i don't imagine he would think about a commitment to the level of marriage; at most, a serious relationship

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

he is visibly a very gentleman, although I think he has his moments – like everyone else – of being in a bad mood or rude

when we talk about the emotional aspect, I think he is a bit of a "stuck" man; I don't imagine him being someone who is easy to show emotionally

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

come on, it's no secret that this man loves hugs and if I'm sure of anything in this life it's that his hugs are wonderful. just watch the way he hugs people, strong and tight and so sincere. I feel that his hugs convey a great sense of security and protection and I imagine that is exactly what he wants you to feel when he hugs you; simply so comforting.

i = i love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)

as sweet and caring as jude can be, I think he understands the weight and meaning of an "I love you" very well and he's definitely not saying it without really feeling it; I imagine it will take him a while to say it, since he wants to be sure that he really means it, but when he does say it, it will be extremely sincere and loud and clear

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they're jealous?)

jude gives me very possessive vibes, as if he were saying "what's mine is mine and no one else's" and I feel like that would definitely fit you; he knows that you're not an object but a person with feelings and desires, but you're simply stronger than him. he would definitely hate to see you giving more attention to someone else — especially if it's a man — than him. at the end of the day, he wants you all and completely for himself

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

jude's kisses are definitely intense, that man exudes confidence and intensity; his kisses can't be any different. he will simply kiss you hungrily, but not in a hasty way, it will be intense and passionate as he grips your waist and presses you against some surface.

as for the places he likes to kiss you, I think he just wants to enjoy every part of you so he just explores everything he sees in front of him, leaving hot kisses on your neck, your bust and even your shoulders

when we talk about where he likes to be kissed, I quickly think of his neck, that man must get weak having you leaving tender kisses and little love bites on him while grabbing his muscles.

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

although he insists that he doesn't want kids, the way he is extremely affectionate and good with kids tells a different story. the way kids love him and get along with him is something that makes your uterus itch, and it also makes your imagination run wild imagining that man being the father of your babies; jude exudes daddy material

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

well, mornings with jude are hectic, unfortunately since he has training so he wakes up early and barely has time for anything other than getting changed and eating something. now when he has time off or is on vacation you will definitely spend more time in bed talking and having soft, lazy sex

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

well, the schedule definitely varies a lot depending on his routine. On a non-game day, you'll go out to dinner together, sometimes at a nice restaurant (he once said he loves going out to restaurants) or, if he wants more privacy with you, he'll just ask his chef to prepare something. He loves talking to you and is definitely telling you every detail of his day and wants to hear every detail of yours too. Maybe you'll watch a movie together until a kiss here and there makes you take things to the bedroom. He definitely loves sleeping with you close to him.

on a game day, you'll watch him — if you don't have anything from school/work to do. I think his late-night schedule will depend a lot on the outcome (and his performance) of the game. If you win, he'll want to celebrate with you, but if you lose, he'll definitely be completely irritated and grumpy and you know you need to give him space to think a little.

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

like I said, Jude doesn't seem like the kind of man who is easy to open up to emotionally in a romantic way so I think he only started opening up more and more after he gained a lot of trust; you would probably be the first to do it and he would notice how much you trust him and start doing the same — little by little.

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

let's be honest, as loving and kind as he is, Jude clearly has a strong temper and gets angry easily; although, I think he controls himself quite well. from what we see and hear of him, we notice that he has a dominant personality (he tends to lead and control situations) and people like that usually hate to lose control of something and see that things don't go as they planned and when that happens they just explode first before solving what went wrong. in short, I think he's the kind of person who will explode when something goes wrong and get absolutely pissed off — and will definitely want to be alone — and then calm down and immediately act to solve the problem (I feel like he doesn't like to leave anything hanging, always wanting to solve everything)

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

jude is a very observant man and has a good memory from what we can see (the way he remembers fans/people he saw a while ago). for me, he would definitely pay attention to every detail and remember them all, especially since it's about you

r = remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

since he has an extremely busy life, I think his favorite moments with you will be those that are just the two of you and that are extremely comfortable and intimate where you talk sincerely and lightly, with him being able to be himself without any fear

maybe your first time could also be a memory that he will keep very fondly; he feels that it was different from anything he had experienced up until then, since it wasn't not only superficial pleasure

s = security (How protective are they? How would they protect you?)

it is extremely obvious how protective Jude is of those he loves and cares about; he is definitely sparing no effort when it comes to seeing you protected and safe. I think he is the kind of guy who will always be keeping an eye on your social media to see what people are saying about you and will always be there to show you that the negative things they say about you are lies; I also imagine that he will definitely not like the idea of ​​you walking around alone. besides, he will always want to see you happy and comfortable

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

you see, that is an English man, he definitely likes to show how important you are to him and he is definitely sparing no effort to do so; I don't even need to say that he's clearly not letting you pay for anything, even if you insist, and he's definitely not being frugal when it comes to buying you gifts, but hey, he doesn't just want to show off expensive gifts, he wants you to really like them and have an important meaning for you (and he definitely wants to be reminded every time you look at the gift he gave you)

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

i feel like he's messy (in terms of leaving things lying around the house) and lazy when it comes to helping with the housework; I also imagine him being stubborn and doing things his own way

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

there's not much to say when it's all there in front of our eyes; that man is extremely careful with his appearance. He knows he’s a handsome man and does everything he can to keep his appearance perfect. Furthermore, you can see that he’s extremely hygienic. You look at him and you realize how clean he looks and how nice he smells (many people who meet him talk about how delicious is his scent).

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

jude doesn’t seem like the kind of person who has an emotional dependence on someone; sure, he’s intense when he loves someone (especially his family), but not to the point where he can’t live without them. If you guys broke up or something like that, the emptiness would be there — obviously —, but it’s not like he’d stop living because of it. I also think he’d be proud to the point of hiding as much as possible how much he misses you, not wanting to show weakness.

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

obviously, self-interested people who are only with him because want something in return; superficial people (who don't see him as he really is or who are extremely superficial); people who are rude or who try to humiliate/put others down (that man is very kind and polite and he will definitely want someone identical in that aspect); I also feel that he doesn't like people who do everything to expose their lives (on social media or etc.). Jude is a very reserved man who loves his privacy and that of his family and would definitely hate a partner who insists on posting and showing everything

z = zzz (what is a sleep habits of theirs?)

as he himself said in an interview, one of his favorite hobbies is taking naps so he definitely sleeps a lot, especially in the afternoon. I think he must be extremely tired when he gets home from training and doesn't want anything more than a cuddle and a good nap.

if you guys want to ask me for drabbles or one-shots, feel free (it can be fluffly, smut, agnst)

i hope you enjoyed it, babes 💋

[strawberryblue-blog]

Pedri nsfw alphabet

A to Z. NSFW alphabet.

—Pedri Gonzalez.

summary: request.

warnings: yes. +18. smut, explicit content, headcanon.

words count: +950.

A - after care (what is it like after sex?)

Too affectionate probably one of the most affectionate in the world. He likes to touch you, kiss your forehead, shoulders and nose, caress your back for hours after making love. He loves to whisper random things, laugh and have fun until you fall asleep.

B - body part (favorite part of your body and his)

In you everything but especially your mind. He thinks you are such a cool person, so smart, so special. The way you think, express yourself, free yourself, he admires you.

In him, it's probably his back. Since he knows it's your favorite part of him, he likes it when you leave your nails marked on it or when you hold on tightly to him.

C - cum (anything about cumming)

There is nothing deeper and purer than cumming inside you, he loves it. The sensation of feeling you so deep inside him, when he can feel your heat, your soul. Since the first time you tried, he never used protection again. As long as you take care of each other in other ways, he will always choose to end up inside you.

D - dirty secret (some dirty secret).

He really likes it when you wear sexual lingerie. It may not be that far-fetched but Pedri loves it when you feel sensual with your own body and that makes him feel good too.

E - experience (experience in sex)

Basic to normal. He's pretty traditional and knows a few things to make you feel good but maybe he lacks a little more experience and teachings.

F - favorite position (to fuck you)

Definitely vanilla sex. Missionary is his favorite position and he wouldn't trade it for anything. Although he likes it when you ride him, he prefers you to be underneath him.

G - goofy (how serious is he during sex?)

Serious. Too serious. Not much to say. Pedri is a man of principle and not at all teasing.

H - hair (how do he/you take care of his/your privacy?)

He downplays it a bit to the point that it's just a little hair. But he prefers it that way, it makes him feel manly and if it doesn't bother you, then he doesn't have a problem. As for you, he doesn't care either. He knows it's hurtful and time and money consuming, so he doesn't care if you have it or not, it's your choice.

I - intimacy (what is it like during sex?)

Very romantic and caring. He makes each session a unique and true experience of love and passion that leaves you completely in love with each other.

J - jack off (masturbation, how much do he/you masturbate?)

Not so much. On a scale of 1 to 10, it would be a 4. Especially when you're away from him and he wants to release tension or sometime for fun but it's not routine.

K - kink (fetishes during sex)

Seeing your eyes directly when he makes love to you, kissing your breasts, kneading them, sucking them. He's not a man of many fetishes but you riding his face might be one of his more recent fetishes.

L - location (places to have sex)

His room or yours. Somewhere private where both of you are comfortable and satisfied, he doesn't like open or public places, like kitchens, living rooms or exterior. He prefers a quiet place, where you can finish what you start and no one or nothing interrupts you.

M - motivation (what excites him/you?)

You kissing his neck gently is the main reason he might get turned on. He also likes it when you stroke the beginning of his hair at the nape of his neck with your fingers, it makes him relax and sometimes has side effects on him.

N - no (what wouldn't he do with you?)

Anything that involves hurting you or degrading you or using ugly nicknames. You are his light, he would never do anything to hurt you no matter if it's a game. He is a gentleman.

O - oral (how does he like to give/receive?)

He is probably more about giving than receiving, as he thinks his duty is to give you the maximum of pleasure, because he knows that sometimes women don't get pleasure from penetration, so he will see to it that you get what you deserve.

P - pace (how do he like to do it?)

Slow, romantic, gentle but deep and passionate. Occasionally he can be dirty and rough, especially if it's been a long time since you've seen each other, but he prefers to be more gentle and romantic.

Q - quickie (do he like quick sex?)

Yes. Sometimes he has a lot of needs and would accept that, although he would like you to have all the time to enjoy yourselves.

R - risk (would he take risks? which ones?)

No. As I said before, he is not a risk taker. Pedri is quite traditional and that doesn't mean he doesn't do things right. But he doesn't like to take risks that involve some kind of interruption or lack of respect.

S - stamina (how long does it last during sex?)

Two or three rounds depending on the moment. Sometimes when he has training he will last only one round but if he's on his days off, he won't give you a break.

T - toy (you use toys?)

No. He has never used them before and it's not something he's interested in at the moment. He understands if you want to have them or recommend using them but if it were up to him he wouldn't use them. At most he might use some handcuffs but no more than that.

U - unfair (how much does he like to provoke you?)

Medium. He doesn't like to play with you so much but sometimes it's unavoidable and he likes to take you to the edge to make it more pleasurable.

V - volume (how loud is it during sex?)

Not so loud but sometimes he lets himself get carried away and can be surprised. Although in you, he really likes it when you scream, let loose and show how much you like it.

W - wild card (small random story)

Your boyfriend's kisses moved across your shoulders and chest as you stifled the gasps that came from your mouth. Your fingers were tangled in his hair and you were gently gurgling on them, Pedri's tongue was working wonders on your skin. The trail of kisses started down your body as his fingers caressed every nook and cranny, his tongue left wet trails around your belly and continued down until it reached your thighs.

Your chest boiled with heat as you felt his breath hit your crotch and you wanted to scream for him to touch you. Pedri smiled seeing you in such a way, your chest was rising and falling, your cheeks were red, your lips kept biting down holding back the urge to moan loudly.

The first kiss on your center made you sigh harshly as you took in as much air as possible. You felt so wet you couldn't take it anymore.

With his tongue he licked your slit and pressed his finger a little on your clit making you gasp. Your fingers tangled in his hair as you felt him lick you harder again.

The brush of his beard against your thighs made you moan in desperation, it was too pleasurable a tingle that made you shiver under his touch. Lately Pedri had grown his beard and you found that so attractive, so much so that you had fantasized about this moment. And now you were in heaven.

X - x-ray (how big is it and how?)

It's somewhere between thick and thin, a little veiny and it's long. Perfect for you, perfect for him. He knows how to use it very well, it's his pride and joy.

Y - yearning (how long can desire last?)

Honestly he can last quite a long time without intercourse so it's not a problem for him but if he has you with him, he will obviously take the opportunity and make you his every chance he gets.

Z - zzz (how is his sleep after sex?)

He can stay up for hours if you're with him. Sometimes the adrenaline and excitement of the moment leaves him quite refreshed. So he likes to chat with you, play with you, cuddle and stuff.

After at least 10 orders I was finally able to bring it. Thanks for the support and filling my inbox 🤣 I hope you like it 💌 @jfbidnk757

[slowcatsworld]

Noel Noa - sfw character alphabet

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I tried my best but I don’t think I understand his character as well as I want to so some of this might be a touch ooc. Bro looks so good in the master striker color spread tho oml. Also I wrote so many freaking words my head hurts so not proofreading in any way. Have fun dawg

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A • Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Noel is affectionate, in his own way. He’s more of a provider and silent strong type than someone who would skip through the streets if a raining city with you like life were a rom com.

Noel’s affection shows by his consideration for you. He is prone to offering you something to drink, he brought an extra bottle of water with him because he knew you wouldn’t have one with you when y’all met up. He always can recall reminding you to bring the right attire when you go out in preparation for the weather, so for when you don’t take his warnings he can calmly explain how he tried to tell you and how you should be more thoughtful of the future. Noel is also an avid listener when you are talking about something, making direct eye contact and asking questions relating to the topic.

Noel’s very a very controlled individual, so his gestures of affection typically reflect that. Instead of running up to you and bringing you into a tight hug, Noel would walk to where you were standing and greet you with a call of your name while beginning to walk with you to your next destination. If you look closely you can see his ears are dashed with cherry red, and he’s been staring at you the whole time.

B • Babies (How do they react when they see babies and infants in public? Do they want kids of their own?)

I would wager that Noel would be rather indifferent to a smaller child he sees out in public. He might glance at the kid and note their hand that if fiercely balled into a fist around their mother’s dress, or that the father has a harness attached to his chest for the child to sleep there if they so choose.

The sight doesn’t cause any profound emotional changes to Noel, but his body does feel a tad heavier than it did a second ago. His mind might feel a little more clouded, noise beginning to creep around. However, these feelings don’t swell much more than that. Noel won’t allow it. There is no reason for the sight to affect him, right? Noel has made himself the man he is today, on his own- he must stay true to his own past and how he made more of himself.

I don’t think Noel would be opposed to kids, but he is very loyal to his career. He is at the height of his performance, the best striker in the world. A kid would complicate things, even if he wouldn’t need to take that much time off for them. A child shouldn’t grow up in an environment where his father is in another country with a rigorous job schedule. His child shouldn’t need to have that barrier between the two of them, a tension that they might not understand now, but will later in life. Noel wouldn’t want something like that. He would want to be present, to be everything he should have had as a kid.

Perhaps later in life, if there was enough time. However, if his lover did fall pregnant, Noel doesn’t really strike me as the type to advocate for an abortion. It might be the most logical choice, but the air gets tighter around his throat when he thinks about it. It would be his lovers decision at the end, and he would end up quietly wishing for her to keep the kid. To give him a chance. As the best striker in the world, Noel might be able to multitask.

C • Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle?)

Noel took a while, but he does enjoy cuddles. They are soft and safe. You would instigate the majority of them, but he comes around to silently lay by you side and put his hand on your hip until you understand what he’s trying to do.

Noel likes to loosely cuddle before bed and wake up in a tight mess of limbs in the morning. Cuddling eases the noise he hears in his brain and often replaces it with a soft, silent haze. It makes him sleepy. And lord I would wager he needs to get some extra sleep.

Noel doesn’t mind who’s the big spoon, but he generally starts out the cuddling session as the bigger spoon until you move to change positions. He is really fond of laying his head either on the crook of your neck from behind, the space between your shoulder and neck from in front of you, or having his face resting on your chest. Being closer to your pulse and heartbeat soothe him, makes him acknowledge the fact you’re a human and he’s laying with you.

If he didn’t want to sleep, he would prefer more restrictive cuddling. Something like sitting up with your heads, arms, or legs intertwined.

D • Dreams (Do they sleep well at night? What do their dreams normally consist of?)

I wanna say Noel actually doesn’t sleep that well. He gets sleep yes, but he often wakes up at random times. He’s also a light sleeper.

His dreams don’t usually have visuals to them, he mostly feels the motions of the plot. (Yk how you can feel or sense things in your dreams so you know what’s happening even if it doesn’t look that way? Yeah that’s basically all his dreams as a blur that he can feel but can’t see) Lots of nights the feeling reminds him of the slums of France, but when he wakes up the softness of his sheets always confused him even more. He gets cold a lot of the times in his dreams.

Noel stays relatively still when he sleeps. I don’t see him being a snorer, at most he’d have those wispy snores when he inhales.

E • Elegance (Are they a smooth talker? Do they fluster up and forget how to speak?)

Surprisingly, I’m going to say that Noel is a rather good flirter. Not so much with his body language. His words are also rather plain, just skimming the lines of flirting or not so you get confused when you try to analyze what he means. He doesn’t give much away.

If you know him well enough though, you can tell. He’ll face you when speaking more, and engage in the conversation with a tad bit more banter than normal. Nothing he says ever seems flirty though, but with context you just get the vibes. (Am I making sense rn??) -If you don’t get me then think abt his interaction with Ego before the PXG vs BM match for the vibes ish and how he talks to the other Master Strikers there’s sm banter and shit talking on both sides I’m convinced he’d be a little like that but more lively if he were comfortable with a love interest

If you start off strong flirting or teasing, he doesn’t reciprocate. He might he end up annoying you, questioning whatever you said previously and debunking your taunt and how it’s not actually true or wtv. His calm and confident tone sometimes makes it a tad annoying when this happens. #canttakerizz

His manner of speech is very proper. He sounds well educated, even when he’s being causal. Very good vocabulary usage.

F • Fighting (How do fights happen between the two of you?)

I don’t think there would be loud fights and arguments with Noel. Small squabbles more like it. Normally you and him would talk it out and voice both of your perspectives. Noel would be good at keeping a level head in these situations.

If you were too fired up however, I think he’d wait until you were done yelling and tell you to breathe and think. Think about what y’all can do to fix whatever happened. He never seems to get angry or sad when you yell at him, but it’s never a pleasant situation. And you know him well enough to know he’ll be thinking about it for the next couple of days.

G • Gentle (How gentle are they with you physically and emotionally? Do they consider you in certain situations?)

Noel wouldn’t shy away from simple physical contact with you. Things like his hand on your shoulder, moving you out of the way by placing his hand on your back, your feet brushing up against each other when you sit together to eat. Nothing too much, but enough to feel you.

He tried his best to think of you and your perspective on matters. Things like buying a new fridge, he’d think about how you would like the built in freezer in fridge 1 more than fridge 2. However if fridge 2 was less expensive and there was better drawers, he’d prolly end up buying fridge 2.

H • Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do they receive hugs?)

I think Noel would learn to like hugs, especially if you were a physically affectionate person. At first he was rather stiff and didn’t allow for them to last more than a couple of seconds. Now he’s chill with it, as long as it isn’t over done like a bone crushing hug where the both of your rock from side to side. A simple loose wrap of your arms around his neck or back is good for him. In public, that is. I think he’d accept all types of hugs in private.

He doesn’t shy away from the rougher and physical side of football, and I want to say this translates into his hugs. Even though it doesn’t? Idk I’m thinking about it too much and confusing myself.

You would probably initiate hugs, he never gots hugs when he grew up so he wouldn’t think of giving you one.

I • Intimacy (How serious are they about this relationship? Do they do one night stands or are in the game for marriage?)

Does not do flings or one night stands. He needs to know you first. He needs to have some type of emotional connection to you before anything turns physical.

Most likely would date for marriage. Dating someone takes time and energy, things that could have gone toward his football career (yall he is serious asf abt his career I can smell it off him) so I think he would want an end goal out of it yk? Dating someone just to have some fun or pass the time of life doesn’t seem like Noel. Even if you didn’t want marriage, understanding that you two are the end for each other is all he wants in a serious relationship.

J • Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He doesn’t seem to be someone that would get jealous to me. Noel is such a confident person in his abilities. However, I do think he would be vulnerable to insecurity. Not in your relationship per se, but of what other people could offer you that he couldn’t.

He wouldn’t suspect you of cheating or being unfaithful, but seeing well bred men born into their society standing interacting with you isn’t a comfortable sight for him. He knows you are coming home with him at the end of the day, this soothes the noise.

He might voice these to you, when you two are alone in the privacy of your home.

Perhaps you are making dinner, Noel working through some plays on his computer, he mentions a little, “the man representing the football club we met today, did you like his suit?”

You turn your head around to see him staring at you already, “I don’t recall his suit looking any different than all the other men’s suits I’ve seen before. It was standard, I guess I liked it?”

“It was a part of an old vintage collection, did you know he also owns a fashion brand that has been in his family for generations?”

You purse your lips, “I don’t understand the significance Noel. If anything I liked the one you wore more. It was probably softer anyway if he was wearing something ancient.” You go back to cooking. Noel feels his face and neck heat up. That was all he needed to hear, mumbling a little okay, yn before going back to analyzing.

K • Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His go to is chaste kisses to your forehead. Your hand if the context of the situation calls for it and matches the elegance vibes. Small pecks out in public. He’s prefer to not really kiss in public, he’d never tell you I don’t think but it flusters him too much and he gets to hot under his jacket.

When the two of you get more intimate for the night, Noel doesn’t want to part his lips from you. It gets sloppy, more rough than usual. Something only the two of you can experience with each other. Lip locking with some fingernails grazing along his scalp or muscles is the easiest way to physically get him yearning for you.

Noel likes the soft kisses you give him in the morning when he sleeps in. The way he can feel your lips through his eyebrow wisps or on his pointed nose. It’s alluring touched of heaven to him, something he wants private for himself.

L • Love Languages (What are their love languages?)

Acts of Service and Quality Time.

Noel just does things for you, makes life a little easier with gestures. I alluded to this in the Affection portion. Making sure you have your necessities in any situation is something that Noel just does. Maybe because of his backstory idk.

Noel is surprisingly a rather talkative guy. If he wants to say something, he’ll say it. Especially if he knows you. He doesn’t go out of his way to be brash, but if it applies to the situation he’s probably saying it. He enjoys talking to you about things. Moments where there is a lull in the day for the two of you, where you can talk freely about whatever you want. He likes those.

Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation are next I would think. I’ve said before I believe he finds comfort in physical touch with his lover, and he’s a quiet supporter that can still say what you need to hear while staying true to his own philosophy.

For Gift Giving, I just don’t think he puts that much emphasis or importance to it. Tangible items were never permanent in his early life, so they aren’t his preferred way of expressing himself to others.

M • Memory (what is their favourite memory with you?)

Grr I don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t know either.

Kidding, maybe something gentle. Like you two go to your favorite restaurant for a date. Your smile radiated heat through his body. You glimmer in the warm light of the lamps and candles beautifully. Your hand reaches over the table to where his is resting. Intertwined, you stroke your thumb over the skin of the bad of his hand. It’s comforting, makes everything go quieter and you feel louder. He asks you to repeat what you just said. Maybe he didn’t hear you that well the second time either, but he feels you all too well that it works out. (Idk I don’t like this but it’s wtv)

N • Night (What time do they go to bed at night? How easily do they fall asleep? What do they wear to bed?)

I think Noel values his sleep and tries to go to bed as early as he can. Even though he does, he still ends up tired a lot of times throughout the day.

Noel would want to be comfortable when he sleeps, generally wearing a t shirt and pants. If it’s a little too cold he throws on a hoodie. He isn’t fond of waking up in a cold sweat though, which has happened to him a number of times,

O • Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Noel is rather guarded, but he also doesn’t hide certain things about himself. We’ve seen him open up about his connection to Ego to Isagi, a kid he’s only known for a couple weeks.

Once he gets comfortable and your relationship is at that stage, he’d tell you a little bit about himself and his interests. His upbringing though, is a tad different. He doesn’t like thinking of it that much. It in dignifies him in a way. Especially the rougher times, the one that manifest into his dreams. I’m not sure he would ever really tell you everything, unless you have been together for a very, very long time.

P • Patience (How easily angered are they? How slow did y’all take your relationship?)

Noel is patient. Even when someone annoys him or angers him, he is never loud and violent with it. He knows how to be firm and unwavering. He also knows how not to be overbearing and cruel.

Your relationship would be slow and steady. Things happen in time. If he is serious, there is no need to rush something that will stay with the two of you for the rest of your lives.

Q • Quirks (What are little things they do that only those closest to them would know about?)

Noel cloud watches. He thinks of all the different things he can imagine from the blobs of fluffy white in the sky. All the different possibilities that all seem so far away.

Noel’s eyebrows are already thin and wispy, and their pale color doesn’t help them stand out. But when he takes his eyeliner off, it’s as though he shaved his eyebrows. The contrast from black to white made them more prominent if that makes sense.

Noel is ambidextrous with his legs, but he has a hard time writing with his left hand. He didn’t know of his ambidextrous nature until a little late into his teenage years, every time he would practice writing he always did it with his right hand as that what most people did around him. He can write legibly with both hands, but his right hand is much more defined.

R • Resentment (Who or what do they hate? Why?)

I think Noel would hate being a nobody. That’s who he was in the slums of France. He made himself into the best football striker in the world. He always says that second place and below aren’t remembered and don’t have the same worth as first place. As the truest of victories. He wants to leave his mark on the world. Second place and below don’t make marks on the world.

I don’t really think he needs strangers to love him, or know him personally, but he needs their attention. He needs their respect. He needs to belong with the best and be the best of the best. He earned it and he defends his title vigorously.

S • Scared (What are some fears they have?)

Bro what if he was scared of the dark? Or at least doesn’t like being in total darkness? 

I think realistically Noel would have some fear of being poor, not having enough financial resources to provide. Provide food, water, clothing.

T • Tough (What do they think makes them tough?)

Noel’s tenacity makes him tough. His hunger to be the best. The drive he has inside of him. Even on the days where his body is sore and his movements are slower than they should be and the noise gets too loud in his mind, his motivation burns that much brighter. The break the next challenge, to do something damn good with himself.

U • Unity (How well do they work with others?)

Honestly, Noel isn’t the biggest team player. He does work with people, but it’s literally canon if he wasn’t leading he would follow the person with the most solid rationality and the highest possibility of success, right. He still does work with others though, but he called efficiency over comfort a lot of the time.

V • Valuables (Do they think objects are valuable? Companionship? Words? What do they hold close to their heart?)

Actions hold the most importance to Noel. If you say you’re going to do xyz, Noel would expect you to do xyz. Proving your credibility by matching your actions to your morals and words is important to him.

Noel likes words. Being able to articulate your thoughts and wants. That is something he thinks every adult should be able to do without trouble, no matter the context of the conversation or situation.

Objects don’t hold as much significance. He’ll value something he has been gifted and set it somewhere in his home, but it just sits there. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate it.

W • Wildcard

Sometimes when Noel wears slides he won’t pick his feet up enough and kick just a tad too hard and bam! His slide is flying across the room a couple feet ahead of him. It stuns him for a second, not believing he did that.

Noel worked hard in academics when given the chance. He likes being educated.

(idk)

X • X-Ray (What do they look like without clothing? What is their body type? How much muscle do they have?)

Noel is a sturdy and firm guy.

He doesn’t have abs, he has a healthy layer of chub on top of them. Think Chris Pratt, but not when he was shredded for Guardians of the Galaxy but like the second or third Guardians of the Galaxy yk. Healthy and yummy.

He has thick thighs, canon.

His arms are very comforting when they are wrapped around you.

He has that V taper body but not as drastic as say, a swimmer would have. Wider shoulders, skinnier waste. Dorito shape, but it’s only truly noticeable if you’re looking at him from the back.

Y • Yearning (How do they deal with their feelings when they miss you?)

When he gets the time, Noel would call you. Your voice is good for him.

He thinks a lot, thinks about what you were wearing the last time he saw you, what your hair looked like, what time of day it was. Thinks about your favorites, your least favorites, things you have in common.

Z • Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Noel doesn’t like natural light pouring in when he’s sleeping, but he likes a small lamp on.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Mwah 😽

[avidhorrormoviefan]

wayne mccullough nsfw alphabet!!

i kinda got carried away and just kept adding stuff so haha yeah you’re welcome

alright before we start this off i just wanna say that wayne was so so very awkward during the beginning of your relationship but now he’s loosened up and so comfortable w you

alright here ya go

characters are 18+!!!

smut under cut

A - Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

- he loovvvees taking care of you after sex. like he always has water on hand ready to give to you if you want it. he’ll get a cloth of you need it. he also just kisses all over your body telling you how much he loves you over and over

B - Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

- he likes his hands and arms. watching his fingers disappear inside of you over and over again mixed with the sounds that you and your pussy makes drives him up the fucking wall

- he sticks his thumb in your mouth

- when he starts to get tired and his head slumps down into your neck and you see his shoulder n back muscles………

- he loves your whole body, just the fact that he has it all to himself is wild to him

- but he does like your hips and thighs in particular though, like when he eats you out and he can just dig his hands into your skin???

- and also when he can see himself in your stomach phewwwww

- man he’ll just stare at it moving inside of you

- “fuck, is that me?” you look down to where he’s staring, seeing a bulge in your stomach from his dick.

- “yeah-yeah that’s you, wayne…” he does something impulsive and presses his hand flat against it and you moan out unexpectedly.

- “holy fuck…”

C - Cum (Anything to do with cum)

- when you go without a condom (wrap it b4 u tap it) he cums on your stomach or back for “easy cleanup” and totally not bc he loves backshots

- but when you’re sucking him off and he cums and some slips out of the corners of your mouth and down your jaw and throat and seeing that j gets him hard again

D - Dirty secret (A dirty secret of theirs)

- he wants to bend you over a desk or counter don’t ask me how i know

- or doggy??? he wants to see the arch in your back so fuckin bad

E - Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

- he’s only been with you so he doesn’t really have any experience

- you’re his first everything

- it’s kind of self explanatory to him so he knows where everything goes

- he just doesn’t know what to do to add that extra layer of pleasure for you, so he has you touch yourself and puts his hand on top of yours to see what he can do to make you feel sooo good

- and fuck is he good at it

- “like that?” he says innocently as he moves his hands though your folds just right

- “fuck, fuck yeah like that…” you say lulling your head back onto the pillow behind you, moaning out as he does it over and over

F - Favorite position

- anything where he can see your face. he loves when you make faces for him

- he also loves when you make eye contact, it makes it more intimate

G - Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

- he’s rather serious bc it’s such an intimate moment between you two

- buttttt, when you both get real into it yall go hard?? fuuuck he gets into itttt

- “yeah? you like that?”

- he can get goofy though like when he realizes what he’s doing he can laugh a bit maybe

- he can also make fun of your moans, mocking them when he’s more dominant

- “like it so much you’re fuckin droolin, yeah? fuckin whore…”

H - Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

- he’s not that bad just a bush around the base

- and he doesn’t care about your hair at all, like honestly as long as you’re happy and comfortable so is he

I - Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect.)

- oh is he romantic

- sometimes he sets things up w flowers n shit all cheesy but you both love it. it shows he really cares and its so fucking cute

- makes you cum every time is all i gotta say. that’s his main goal, just make you feel good

- there’s nowhere else to put this so i’ll put it here, he puts his hand in the back pocket of your jeans please help me why do i do this to myself

J - Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

- he was never really the type to jerk off a lot but he did enjoy the few times he was alone

- but now that he has you he doesn’t really have to

- but when you’re not with him for long enough he jerks off but it’s never as good as the real thing with you

K - Kink (One or more of their kinks)

- BLOOD KINK PAIN KINK KNIFE KINK MY GUY IS A MASOCHIST

- ok one by one

- blood kink: he loves seeing either one of you bleeding in bed, he loves the taste, the sound when you wince for him, you bet you’re covered in scars that only he can see. OH MY GOD sometimes he cuts his fingers or thumb n sticks them in your mouth, saliva mixed with either of your blood at this point dripping down the sides of your mouth and down his hand

- knife kink: I MEAN COME ON??

- pain kink: goes w the last two but come onnnn. you see how much he gets beaten up for fun you can’t tell me he doesn’t get off on it a bit

- PULL HIS HAIR TRUSTTTT

- praise + degradation, he wants to be called a good boy what can i say

- choking is a big one, when he’s fucking you missionary and his hand travels from beside your head and onto your throat, he’ll squeeze just enough to feel your pulse

- he can also feel every single sound coming from your throat when he chokes you and he loves it

L - Location (Favorite places to do things)

- fucking anywhere and i mean it. the bed, the floor, the couch, the shower, a bathtub, a car, a fucking alley. anywhere kinda private, he’ll take you wherever

M - Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

- always in the mood, he’s a teenage boy, but when you’re in the mood? just pushes him further

- whenever he gets mad though, you’re in for quite the night ahead of you. fuckin pounding into you like nobody’s business and saying the most outrageous stuff in your ear especially after he gets beaten up bad

N - No (Turn offs, things they refuse to do)

- i mean he’s down to try anything once but maybe not pegging

O - Oral (Preference in receiving or giving, skill, etc)

- he loooovvveeeessss oral like omfg

- he’s so good at it lemme tell you

- he really doesn’t have a preference, whatever yall are in the mood to do he’ll do

- he fucks you w his tongue every fucking time

P - Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

- depends on how he’s feeling but usually he’s somewhere in the middle

- he’s fast and rough when he’s mad or just feeling more in the fucking mood

- he’s slow when he wants to just be with you in the moment

- you love both sides of him

Q - Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

- he doesn’t mind a quickie here and there but he loves proper sex

- he loves the foreplay leading up to it and the closeness + aftercare, he’s very sentimental

- but a quickies always good for when you’re on the run and have time

R - Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

- down to try anything once 🤷‍♀️

S - Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

- he can go for a while sometimes three or four if he’s real pent up but usually just one or two

T - Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

- nope not really but if you have one he’ll sheepishly ask you how it’s used and you’ll show him and it inevitably turns him on and says “fuck that, i can do it much better,” and fucks you much better

U - Unfair (How much they like to tease)

- he likes to tease you just to see how far you’ll let it go, like only circling ur clit and not going anywhere from there.

- sometimes he’ll go into the bathroom w you when he knows there’s nobody else is in there and he’ll kiss your neck and maybe play w your pussy over your clothes and get you all worked up then stop

- “fucking every time?”

- “yeah.”

- off topic but speaking of bathrooms, once when yall were in the bathroom together and someone knocked he yelled “fuckin occupied” while going down on you. hot as fuck.

V - Volume (How loud are they, what sounds they make)

- he’s actually pretty loud

- he’s more of a moaning and grunting kind of guy but sometimes he’ll whimper when he’s trying to be quiet and it’s so nice bc you can hear how much he wants to be loud but doesn’t want to get caught :(

W - Wild card

- he calls you “ma” sometimes, both in and out of bed

- he doesn’t know where it came from but one day he was like “you want anything from the gas station, ma?” and you never questioned it and it stuck

- in bed he’s like “ma, please enough with the teasin”

- “needja bad, ma, please” all whiny n shit too

- shit like that AUHHHHH

- he’s a talker in bed

- “come on, one more f’me.. i know you can do it, baby”

- whenever you say his name in bed it gets him even more worked up

- “fuck wayne, please…” you don’t even know what your asking for at this point, his dick is so far in you and you’ve came already but he’s making you feel so good you just want more.

- and you KNOW his accent gets so much stronger like cmon

- oh and he follows you around like a fuckin dog, and wherever you need him for absolutely anything, he’s always in a 5 foot radius

X - X-Ray (What's hiding under the clothes)

- he’s a good 6-7 inches and does he use it well

- he’s well toned but not buff, he’s got abs and when he noticed you staring he flexes and you get all flustered and he loves it, smirking and laughing a bit when you turn away

- when you’re fucking, his stomach and arms flex and you can see every indent of his abs and biceps

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

- again he’s a teenage boy so his sex drive is pretty high

- he wants to be with you 24/7 and when he is he always has a hand on you never letting you go

- when you get in the mood you find him in the house and sit next to him, after a bit maybe move your leg on top of his, and this catches his attention from whatever he was doing. still not fully paying attention to you, you sigh and move to straddle his lap, fully taking his attention

- “what’s up” he laughs a bit

- “haven’t seen ya all day. missed ya” you say playing with his hair on the back of his neck

- “oh yeah?” he smirks, putting his hands on your hips, moving them up to your waist and down your thighs

- “yeah..” he slides his hands up to your waistband and hooks two fingers in them

- you tug on his hair, making his head jerk back and a grunt fall from his lips, smirk still plastered across his face.

- “you gonna do somethin about it?”

- and yall fuck right there on the couch

Z - Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

- he’s pretty good about not falling asleep right away, he wants to take care of you first before thinking about himself.

- you fall asleep in his arms after he gets you two cleaned up and he’s right there after you

——

ty for reading!! this was so much fun to write omgg

i’m probably gonna make a fic out of some of these bc wayne is taking up my every thought help

also happy 2024!

[ironunderstands]

Dr. Ratios predictions, theories and ideas I have for his lore BECAUSE SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED AND I AM INSANE ABOUT HIM AAAAAAA

‼️INCLUDES DISCUSSION OF LEAKS SO BE WARNED‼️

So, I’m sure if you like Dr. Ratio even a little bit or have kept up with what leakers are doing, you have heard of a little something.

That little something being our new planet in coming in 3.0 is Ancient Greece inspired 

Oh boy.

And oh it gets better, thanks Sparkle for playing genderbend Ratio during Cosmoddesy because 

Yup, this is his planet.

I’m well aware it will be like 7 months before we start getting proper leaks about this place, but for now, let’s do some speculation shall we, because if there’s anywhere we are gonna get his backstory/lore/a story centered around him, it will be here.

So let’s begin 

Whatever the hell I think is gonna happen during 3.0

A) He will serve as a guide for the Astral Express in navigating this planet 

I don’t think he will immediately go to them to help, or they will immediately seek out him, but rather coincidentally or through the connivence of circumstance he will end up helping lead us around, at least partially until we really get roped into a conflict.

Or, it’s the other way around, where we kinda are left to our own devices a bit and then something happens and either by his own decision or something that’s forced upon him, Dr. Ratio now has to supervise from now on.

Personally I find the second option way more interesting and I think it has way more potential for angst so I’m going with that one let Ratio be dragged around by a malicious entity or his own experiences I’m so here for it. 

B) Something happens.

Wow, descriptive. 

Ok, what I really mean is that something bad happens like a prophecy comes true or the express breaks something or a stellaron comes to eat people’s grandmas and Ratio is implicated in it. 

And this is where the fun begins, as the nature of what this something is can completely shift the story in very interesting ways.

Perhaps he was prophesied to doom Amphoreous’s civilization with his presence or something, and was abandoned by his parents on another planet?

Perhaps he has connections to the leaders there who desired for him to be their puppet/tool, so he left to find his own path and now they are trying to force him back.

Perhaps he failed at a test of theirs when he was younger, some universal trait on the planet that he couldn’t live up to and was exiled because of it. Now that he’s back, they blame whatever bad thing happens on Ratio. 

I actually really like these particular theories as Ratio has a lot of themes about creating your own destiny, so seeing him resist one forced upon him would be compelling. Moreover, I feel as though an arc demonstrating how exactly he wanted to become a Genius/where he got all his insecurities and motivations from is not only necessary for his character but would flesh out the way we see the path of Erudition in general, even if I already really like the way they have gone with it so far. 

C) Resolution/Self acceptance 

I doubt they will permanently kill him, it just doesn’t suit his character at all.

However, do I think is he gonna get messed up by whatever that “something” is? Yes. 

If the story centers on this remains to be seen, honestly, I doubt it will considering we have the entire cast of the planet and its own lore to meet and learn about, but I do think Ratio will be a major player and I hope how he feels gets some of the plot’s focus as we have quite literally only have 1 full scene of him where we see who he truly is, and it’s all the way back in 1.6 (Ratio-Screwllum conversation my Roman Empire). 

Like guys I needed this man bleeding out screaming dying crying throwing up clutching his wounds looking up at the screen like a kicked puppy losing all hope in himself and others YESTERDAY 

I NEED SOMETHING BAD TO HAPPEN TO HIM FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND BECAUSE RATIO IS SO HIGH STRUNG THAT ANY AMOUNT OF PRESSURE WILL CAUSE HIM TO SNAP SO PLEASE HOYO LET HIM BREAK!!!

He needs another scene where he’s being sincere, he needs a scene where he’s being vulnerable, Ratio’s marble facade needs to crumble to reveal the man underneath and I need that man to pick himself back up again knowing he can allow himself to be human as well AAAAAAAAAA

His connections to Acheron 

If you have seen my other posts I have already talked about this at length, however the brainrot for this particular detail is all consuming so let me just demonstrate:

Dr. Ratio has the same philosophy as Acheron, an emanator of Nihility.

Look.

Essentially, they both believe that only in desperate situations will humans reach their full potential and begin to truly live for themselves. Moreover, they also both try and offer the tools to help people save themselves, Ratio with knowledge and Acheron with destroying the dreamscape, and that even if people can only become their true selves through struggle, it is the guidance and love of other people that will allow them to pick themselves up. 

Interestingly, pre-2.2 I also believed Ratio was walking the path of Nihility, due to how he engages with knowledge. That very viewpoint spawned from the 1.6 conversation I just showed you, as Ratio demonstrates to the audience that he does not care about knowledge in of itself, but rather the value it can bring to people.

Now, this sets him apart from the Genius Society members, who believe knowledge is inherently valuable and that it is what brings the universe meaning to them. Every person Nous has acknowledged has expressed this belief, which is why they were acknowledged and Ratio isn’t.

Before you say it, no, it’s not that he isn’t smart enough, quite the opposite actually.

Screwllum himself acknowledges his genius and time and time again are Ratios myriad of accomplishments brought up. In universe plenty of people believe he should have been instated into the society by now as well:

These are just the ones that implicate the society directly, as so many of Ratio’s character stories also mention just how accomplished he is.

Moreover, in 2.3 we are getting a new Sim Uni update made by Ratio himself, centered on humanity because of course it is, therefore he’s even smart enough to do the same things the GS members do, even collaborating with Screwllum to work on their favorite pet project.

So, what does this have to do with his lack of acknowledgment, and the path of Nihility?

I have established Ratio is smart enough and that he doesn’t view knowledge in the same way the other member’s do. Therefore, this difference in mindset is why Nous has never acknowledged him, because as much as Ratio thinks he is walking the path of Erudition, his personal philosophy and behaviors have never aligned with that, even if he thinks they do.

I mean, the man says it himself, even if he doesn’t realize the implications of it:

“The Path of Erudition has neither reason nor logic. While geniuses wander among the stars, the ordinary can’t even trace their footsteps.”

That is the path the Genius Society members walk, the path Ratio is criticizing in this sentence, the path he refuses to travel along himself, because what defines Ratio is that he will never leave the ordinary behind to stumble alone.

That is the path of Erudition.

And Veritas Ratio does not follow it. 

So what does he believe in?

Finding your own path. Forging your own future, in the face of a meaningless universe, that is the only thing we should do, the only thing we CAN do. 

“even a life marked by failure is a life worth living”

That’s what Ratio believes.

It doesn’t matter if the masses cannot escape their mediocrity, if they will never be geniuses, if their efforts will go unacknowledged, because the universe doesn’t care, therefore they shouldn’t either. There is no grand test, no final destination, no perfect goal people must attain.

Destiny is uncertain, and people’s fates are theirs to choose. 

Dr. Ratio believes people can still improve themselves, and that it doesn’t matter if people cannot reach the ceiling of knowledge, as they should still push themselves off the floor and stand up. 

He doesn’t think anything confines people from bettering themselves, and that it’s pointless to deliberate over whether one can achieve perfection or not, they should strive to improve themselves regardless and live their best lives because why not? Sure there’s nothing saying they can, but there’s also nothing saying they can’t, and in the face of a meaningless universe, devoid of purpose, one must create their own, and he dedicates his life to aiding others in realizing this.

Ironically, Ratio does not take his own advice. He can recognize the merits of the masses, but he cannot appreciate his own. Ratio is forever walking forward, but he cannot see the path ahead of him, or appreciate the lengths he has gone, the distance he has traveled, and the lives he has improved. 

Ratio spreads knowledge across the universe, believing that is what Nous desires, what the Erudition means, or rather should be, which is partly why he views himself as mundane, as a failure. 

Not just because he is as ordinary as any other person, but because Ratio thinks he hasn’t succeeded in his goal without Nous’s acknowledgement. I think he believes that he hasn’t done enough, that he isn’t smart enough, that he will never be good enough, therefore no matter what has happened, Ratio is doomed do be as mundane as everyone else, and his accomplishments will never be worth the gaze of the entity who inspired him to help others in the first place, as that’s what Ratio believes they would want.

However, helping others is not something Nous cares about, it’s something Dr. Ratio cares about. Even if he doesn’t understand or acknowledge it, Ratio’s accomplishments are meaningful, and he has walked his path further than most ever have. 

However, that path just isn’t the path of Erudition, it’s the path of Existence. 

Initially I believed it to be the Nihility, and in a way I’m not wrong, considering one must cross underneath the shadow of the Nihility to find the Existence, so in a way he is still approaching them.

However, as always, Acheron clarifies everything.

The Nihility envelops all, therefore it is meaningless. And before our final ending, our predetermined destiny (death), we have so many choices to make, therefore we should make them, as it makes both our life and death develop a completely different meaning.

As I have stated, this is what Ratio believes in, even if he attributes it to the Erudition, rather than the Nihility.

Ratio’s entire goal in life is to help others bring meaning to their lives and guide them in the right direction so they can begin to choose for themselves, using knowledge as his means to do so.

Which is exactly what Acheron does, “on the still waters of oblivion, I guide the wandering souls,” isn’t just a line she says because it sounds cool, rather, that is her goal as well. An emanator of Nihility, whose goal is to help others find their meaning in the universe. 

But Acheron doesn’t just want that. She is looking for the Existence, and to kill the Nihility (meaningless) forever.

Which is significant, because if Ratio believes the same exact thing she does, and is walking the same path as she is, then like Acheron, he is heading towards the Existence, not the Erudition.

And Nous will never acknowledge him, not because he isn’t smart enough, but because he never followed them to begin with.

In fact, we know what Ratio is, or rather, what he might end up becoming.

So far no Doctors of Chaos have succeeded in their goals, but perhaps Dr. Ratio, Dr VERITAS Ratio, will be the one to do so. After all, who else could it be but him?

How fitting that the man named after truth would be the one to find it.

That fuckass owl 

Glaux I want to throw you into a blender 

This is Professor Glaux, one of the figures from the Hanunue-Clockie Era of Penacony who did some things like bring the stellaron there, was a scholar of the Intellgenica Guild, became the first dreamweaver, inspired the paper birds, did some shit with the Nightingale Family and presumably died.

I know, horrible explanation, especially considering I haven’t even done the quest this guy is from, but hopefully that’s all the information you need for now so I can introduce you to this theory (which I did not create, sadly I don’t remember who did but it was someone on twitter somewhere so shoutout to them)

That being… Dr. Ratio is Glaux

I hate it I’m sorry. But I will attempt to explain where it’s coming from.

A) Glaux has very similar references to Ratio, aka they are both associated with Greek culture, wisdom and owls 

Glaux is the Greek word for owl and they are heavily associated with Athena, the god of wisdom.

Now Ratio has extremely obvious owl, Greek and wisdom association if you have looked at him for any longer than 2 seconds so I’m not gonna bother to demonstrate it, they have similar references, moving on.

B) The Intelligencia Guild + their titles 

They are from the same faction, and both are referred to as Professors (ratio gets called that more in the CN version I think), and at least Ratio dedicates his time to spreading knowledge, which I think is something Glaux shared.  

C) This occurrence in Gold and Gears

You know, the one where a student kills themself because Ratio thinks they are an idiot.

Well, it’s complicated because apparently the story told in Gold in Gears takes place a long time ago?? 

How long I don’t know as my brain melted in my skull when trying to piece it together, so please do correct me if I’m wrong, I’ll try to make sense of it later.

Moreover, this is also complicated by the fact that this particular occurrence was used by Herta to teach the trailblazer some mechanics of the sim uni, which makes me thing it’s not a part of the lore/timeline in it in general, and just something funny she added in anyways. Continually, there are also occurrences from characters like Argenti and of the Genius Society members themselves, so I don’t think every event is set in the distant past.

However, I think this idea comes from the other person in that occurrence, Dr. No5, but he also kills himself in it, and I can’t find anymore information on it, so I doubt it. (also apparently in the Chinese version the Ratio they refer to isn’t in the way they refer to Dr. Ratio/the one we know so idk)

Either way, what this means is that if this occurrence did take place a while ago, then Ratio must be super fucking old and he must have been part of the Intellegencia Guild during that time, like a certain owl aka Glaux, who was part of it.

D) Ratio’s weird origins

By weird origins I mean we know jack shit about his past (although we finally know the planet he’s from!) and for all we know the man could have spawned in one day, with some other theories even coming to that conclusion, like the infamous worm theory.

Essentially, if you put this all together, Ratio was once an owl-humanoid named Glaux who was from the Amphoreous, and then became part of the Intelligencia Guild a while back, which is when that occurrence happened. He then went to Penacony, did some stuff, faked his death and like came back as Dr. Ratio on that planet again, which is why we don’t know anything about his origins.

Can you tell why I hate this theory as a concept.

I find it to be dumb, nonsensical, a waste of potential and just straight up random as hell. However it is also objectively valid and could have happened within the plot of the game which is why I hate it so much because please hoyoverse do not go in this direction I will skin you.

However, I do not think Ratio has nothing to do with Glaux.

Rather,

A) The stuff Glaux did on Penacony is meant to parallel how Ratio acted there, as both served as a guiding figure for people on their respective timelines 

B) Ratio is the same species as Glaux/ they are from the same planet (Amphoreous).

Now this I fuck with heavily. Yes, Glaux is way more owl looking than Ratio is, however more human versions of his species could exist, and Ratio could just have the ability to like shift forms or something.

He also looks extremely similar to the owls on Ratios design, which I now deem it appropriate to show to you the metric fuck ton of owls in Ratios design.

(there’s a few more btw I just couldn’t fit them due to the image limit LMAOO)

Why do you have so many, and why is it the same fucking owl, same culture, same goddess referenced, same symbolism???? 

Like even if I hate the 1 : 1 Glaux-Ratio theory, they are clearly connected, and this is no accident on behalf of the developers. 

Therefore, I would keep an eye out for Glaux mentions in the future, especially on the planet coming in 3.0, as I 100% believe that they are from the same planet. There’s no way they can’t be connected in some manner, and if I am right about this I will be annoying about it for the rest of time. 

I can’t believe owl Ratio might actually be a reality. 

So uh, let’s put this all together.

We go to Ratio’s planet in 3.0, problems happen and we learn both his past and his connections to that owl species Glaux is from which likely causes even more problems. Bbg probably gets his ass handed to him in 3.0 and 3.1 and gets to make up for it in 3.2, ending the arc off more fulfilled as a person, and perhaps making some realizations about himself including that he isn’t actually following the path of Erudition. Then we skip all the way to endgame when the trailblazers are fighting Nanook and him and Acheron come in with the steel chair hopped up on Existence juice to give the trailblazer enough of a will to live as to not succumb to the Nihility because oh my god how can you defeat the embodiment of Destruction. We somehow win and Dr. Ratio gets married to Aventurine and they ride off into the sunset roll credits we all cheered. 

So, yeah.

If I’m even a little bit right about this I will be the most insufferable person on this planet. Anyways I hope you enjoyed reading this, and even if these theories don’t end up being true I do still think the speculation gives a lot of insight into his character.

[warmblanketwhump]

another beach vacation

inspired by those bizarre moments when it’s sweltering out and somehow you’re freezing with a fever (most definitely not inspired by my low-grade fever last week lol)

It was just another hot day at the beach during their vacation at the oceanside cottage, but B can tell something’s off. They’re all swimming, B a bit further out from A and C, but B notices that A’s out of the water more than they’re in, and they barely get in past ankle-deep water. After a few minutes and some wild gesturing from C, they get in deeper, and B goes back to swimming alongside the current.

But when B checks again, A’s left the water entirely, sitting directly in the sun even though they burn easily. When B gets out to investigate, they see A’s covered in goosebumps and visibly shivering, arms wrapped around their knees.

“A, what are you doing? You’re gonna get burned.”

A shrugs. “I’m cold. Like, in my bones. I don’t know what’s wrong.” A gentle breeze wafts through the air, sending a shudder rippling through them, and they hug their knees tighter to their chest. “I thought the sun would help me warm up.”

B wraps a towel around them and curls behind A, hugging them close. Contrary to A’s belief, they feel like a banked coal against B’s body, yet B can feel the small shivers that ripple through them as they rub A’s blanketed arms. “You’re probably just a little chilled from the water.”

“Maybe.” A’s voice is small, shaky, quiet. Not at all like themselves.

Eventually, A pulls on the dry t-shirt B offers and lays down under the beach umbrella, curling up in a ball with arms wrapped around themselves, while B pulls out a battered old paperback. Every so often, B can hear A’s teeth chatter, and eventually they drape one of the dry towels over them, even though it’s sweltering out.

C darts up dripping wet, starting to say something to B, but stops short when they see A laying down. “What’s wrong with A?”

“Not feeling well.” B glances down from their book to see A, still curled under the towel. “They got chilled and needed to warm up for a bit.”

C stops short, glancing down at A, then to B, face guilty. “I….may be the cause of that.”

B gives A a confused look. “What?”

“They…didn’t really want to swim, said they didn’t feel up to it. I nagged them, told them they were boring and never wanted to have fun, and then they finally got in.“ C shrugs, swiping their foot in the sand. “They shook so bad the whole time they were in the water. I thought they were faking to be dramatic.” C looks sheepish. “It’s just….it’s so hot out, and the water wasn’t that cold…”

C’s not wrong—the air temperature must be over 90 degrees, and there’s barely a cloud in the sky. But A’s visibly shivering, face pale in the shade of the umbrella, hands clutching the towel tightly around their shoulders like they can’t get the extra layer close enough.

“A, you feeling any better?”

A just moans, pulling the towel up to their chin. B reaches out a hand, and the mystery is solved the second their palm touches A’s feverish forehead. They’re even warmer now in the shade than when B felt them earlier.

Poor thing. “A, we’re gonna go back up to the house now and get you dried off and in bed. You’ve got a fever.” A moans again, softer this time.

C’s face falls at B’s announcement. “I guess I’ll…stay here a bit longer then. Meet you at home.”

B nods, hoists A up in their arms in a bridal carry, towel and all, and begins the trek up the winding path back to the coastal beach house.

Arriving home, B carries A up to the bathroom and persuades A to allow a quick shower to wash off all the sand and salty seawater. A shivers the entire time, knees tucked to their chest and arms folded to their body, head bobbing as they fight to stay awake, hands feebly rubbing at the goosebumps that skitter across their arms.

Eventually the two minutes of misery are over and B wraps a thick bath towel around A’s waist, and another around their shoulders. The rest of the home is frigid from the air-conditioning, and A hunches over to try and preserve warmth as they half-shuffle, half lean on B to their room. B helps them dress in a dry t-shirt and shorts and eases them under the light summer covers, and A pulls the top quilt tightly around their body.

“I’m going to run to the corner store and see if they have some medicine. Stay in bed, okay?”

B takes the single moan from the lump of blankets as a yes.

A half hour later, B returns with a plastic grocery bag full of medicines, expecting to find A still curled up in bed. But instead, A’s on their hands and knees by their suitcase, frantically rummaging through their clothes.

“A, what are you doing out of bed?”

“I need s-s-something, anything warmer.” A’s teeth are audibly chattering, and they’re clutching their arms close to their body as they shake with chills. “I tried to sleep, I tried, but the c-covers are so thin, and I couldn’t stop shivering, and I couldn’t figure out how to turn the AC down…” A’s lower lip quivers as they stare mournfully at their suitcase. “I didn’t bring anything warm. Not even a pair of socks. I’m so cold…”

B’s heart squeezes at the admission. “C’mon. Let’s get you back under the covers and I’ll see if I can find some of my stuff you can wear.”

After getting A back in bed, B goes to their room and begins tearing clothes from their suitcase, but it’s useless—the weather forecast had been for sweltering temperatures all week, so they just some lightweight T-shirts, shorts, an outfit for when they went to town for dinner….

“What’s wrong?” C must’ve gotten back after B, and they’ve now changed into regular clothes, hair still damp, with a half-eaten popsicle in one hand.

“A’s got bad chills and can’t sleep. And of course, none of us brought warm clothes because it’s so hot here.” A tosses another pair of shorts to the side. “We used up all the towels, too, so we can’t even have that as an option until I do some laundry—“

“I’ve got some sweatpants they can borrow.” C shrugs. “And an old sweatshirt, I think.”

“You? In the summer?”

C shrugs. “What? I hate the thought of being cold.” Their eyes flick to the carpet. “And it’s sort of my fault anyways. I shouldn’t have made them swim when they weren’t feeling good.”

“Hey. You didn’t know.” B gives C’s shoulder a squeeze, even though C doesn’t look absolved.

Within a minute, C makes it back to A’s bedroom with the extra layers, plus some extra blankets they found from the linen closet. B helps A dress, then wraps an extra blanket around their shoulders before tucking them back under the covers.

“Better?” B asks, rubbing A’s back through the blankets.

“Uh huh,” A says with a sigh, burrowing deeper into the blankets. “I thought I was gonna freeze.”

C’s at the end of A’s bed, scuffing their toe into the carpet, when they finally speak. “A, I….I didn’t mean what I said back at the beach. Heck, I shouldn’t have said it, even if you were feeling well. You’re not boring, I promise. I was just being stupid, and I’m sorry.”

“C, you were forgiven the minute you gave me these clothes,” A says, voice muffled from beneath the blankets. “But if you’re not feeling forgiven enough, making me a cup of hot tea will absolve you fully.”

“On it.” C darts away to the kitchen, and after giving A three different types of medicine, B settles in with their book on the bed next to A.

“Sorry I’m ruining the vacation,” A mumbles, quieter. “I’d much rather be out in the sun and swimming than in here trying to stay warm.”

“Nonsense. You’re just giving us a little break from the sun.” B smiles, giving A’s shoulder a little squeeze before tucking their blankets just a little bit tighter.

[justpearlysworld]

Wouldn't mind being sandwiched between Soap and Price :) that's a fun smut combo I think doesn't get enough appreciation around here

good idea!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have a massive squishy brain and i would love to give it a kiss b/c this is SO GOOD:33 🐻‍❄️🐻‍❄️

(cw!!: smut, spit roasting, p in v penetration, reader is afab :3)

MDNI!

threesome w/ soap and price!

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·. .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·. .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

price lets his hands run from the top of your shoulders, to the fat of your tits, all the way down to where your abdomen meets your thighs. he gazes into your eyes and pulls you into a deep and feverish kiss

soap on the other hand, was seated on his knees on the floor. he gave small kisses from your calves to your inner thighs where he let himself stay sucked on, leaving little love bites all over your legs.

-“fuck, god. you’re so beautiful. so so pretty and so fucking sexy, dove”

prices voice was dripping in need and arousal; need to have you split open on his cock. he depended the kiss and began to kneed your squishy tits in his warm hands.

his voice had sent shockwaves rippling through your body and had furthered the wetness dripping down your pussy. soap didn’t let this go. he let his mouth move from your inner thighs to your plush cunt where he let himself ravage you like a starved man.

you pulled away from price to let out a whimper.

-“so wet bonnie. can’t help but eat you like my last meal”

you groan out at his words and flex your thighs and slightly clamp them around johnny’s head.

john took this time to unbuckle his pants and pull himself out of the confines of his boxers. he stood at half-mast and had some pre-cum leaking from his tip.

you look at him with sweet doe eyes pleading if you can give into your desires. he wraps his hand around his cock and guides it to your plush lips. he lets you set a quick pace as you hurry to stuff him down your throat to

-“damn, really that eager to be taken. johnny, why don’t you take her pussy first?”

soap removes himself from between your legs. he makes quick work of his pants and lets his cock run up and down your slit. he smiles down at you and enters his tip.

you moan around price as you grip his thigh to ground yourself.

-“bonnie, really squeezin’ down here!”

he too sets a pace, fast and rough, as soon as you give him the go ahead to begin moving. you had adjusted so you were being spit-roasted by the two of them.

price continued to fuck himself into your mouth and soap had been practically nailing you into the bed. for every thrust forward from soap, was a thrust out for price. they continued this rhythm so that you were getting constant stimulation by the two of them.

-“o-oh gosh, i feel like i’m gonna cum soon! johnny pleasee go harder!”

your sweet pleas did not fall on deaf ears. he quickened his pace to the point where you were stuck choking on price’s dick.

-“fuck. bonnie cum with me. cum around my cock pretty girl come on!”

it was also pretty apparent that price was about to cum as well. his hips had been jerking erratically and he was gripping your hair much tighter than he had been before.

-“come on dove, cum for us. please pretty girl”

you felt your orgasm wash over you and you clamped down on soap, and hard too. your cunt so tightly wrapped around his cock caused him to fall into his orgasm as well. price had steadied himself and forced his cock down into your throat. his salty cum dripping down your through as you coughed up around him.

soap steadied his hips and let out a feral moan as he spurted his seed into your greedy pussy.

price pulled his cock out to let you breath, standing up and giving soap a look.

-“switch places. round 2?”

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·. .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·. .·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

(a/n): not proofread so there’s probably some spelling errors !!!!

Requests Are Open!

wittle tag list!!: @godihatethiswebsite @bravo-001

[ma1dmer]

Warhammer - Garviel Loken NSFW

i was put in this fandom for nefarious purposes, this one is a bit boring and i might revisit it eventually because i know i can give my princess something better

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): he likes to sit with you and simply talk. face to face so you know he is listening to you, a hand on your back or on your thighs, if you let him he'll read to you until you fall asleep before he let's himself rest as well.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): he is as proud of his physique as any astartes. however he doesn't quite think of himself like that, he is a weapon, a tool of war meant to kill people as efficiently as possible, it's hard to separate that from his mind at first, but he grows really fond of the way you make him see himself and his body differently. feeling your touch long after you have left his room, tracing the phantom feel of your lips over his own, his neck, his shoulders and if he stands up a bit straighter next time he meets up with his battle brothers it doesn’t really have to mean anything.

on you he likes any softer part of you, your tits, your thighs, your ass, your stomach, anything he can firmly grab as he fucks you. he likes the contrast, he likes to feel how, human you are, how soft and maybe even fragile you are compared to him, makes him think about protecting you, it really motivates him to go out there and fight better, more carefully, finish that damn crusade so he can get back to you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically): inside. he can’t quite explain the animal urge that takes hold of him when he is about to cum, but he always makes sure to bury himself as deep within you as possible, pulling your hips flush against his own, stilling almost abruptly as he finishes. he knows he is sterile, doesn’t know if he is happy with that fact or not considering how often he cums inside of you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): this man has no secrets, let alone dirty ones. if he likes something he likes something and he straight up tells you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?): none, zero, nothing, always looking to follow the rules, always prioritizing his legion, he obviously neglected such wants/needs if he even had any to begin with, he comes to you with only the clinical understanding of everything, but he is a quick study, smart and very conscious of your comfort and pleasure. he likes to hear you tell him what you like in the beginning, don't let him stumble around blindly. he takes his sweet time learning your body inside and out before he is fully ready in his mind to take you. you meet up multiple times where he just uses his fingers or mouth to get you off, before he finally let’s you escalate things, the wait is worth it for both of you though.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying): laid flat down on your front, legs spread for him to fit between them. this way he can control things more easily, pull your legs up over his shoulders to eat you out from the back while grinding his cock down on the bed or push you down fully to lay over you pinning you against the covers or pull you to your hands and knees so he can mount you properly.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.): on first glance he is an unreadable-unmovable block of ice, the perfect soldier, they don’t call him starch-arse for no reason, but thats just the first layer. it is very important that you are having fun with him, that you are relaxed and comfortable in his bed, he doesn't crack out jokes as easily as others but he is a bigger tease than you might expect.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.): he isn't very hairy to begin with and whatever he has is very fair like the rest of him, fair and soft and curling at the base of his cock. no happy trail sadly.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect): he isn't exactly romantic, he doesn't know how to do romance, but does it really matter at the end of the day? when he leans down to press his forehead against yours as he cums or when he reaches up to hold both your hands as he eats you out. he is very affectionate and very soft when it's the two of you beneath the sheets, he is always moving your hands so you are holding onto him/hugging him or taking the initiative to hold you himself.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon): in the past he’d just ignore such a need, a cold shower, a quick round of training or sparring with someone, maybe some reading, but after joining the mournival and/or after meeting you he learns how much it helps him to unwind. on his bed, seated at the edge of it as if ready to stand up and run out of the room, not fully able to relax, his pants around his thighs, his hand on his cock, he doesn’t really drag it out, almost guilty about such indulgence, if he has any piece of your clothing, you bet your ass he is burying his face in it, inhaling and panting like a winded animal, when he is done he might still need that cold shower AND the round of sparring, he also has the decency to ask the serfs to wash said piece of clothing so he can give it back to you next time you meet.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks): nothing special he is pretty vanilla on almost all aspects. you do find out later on he likes to have his hair pulled a bit, it shocks him as much as it shocks you, you are simply running your fingers through it feeling how long it has gotten since you two last met as he trails his lips down your neck when he sinks his teeth playfully in your shoulder. you yank instinctively and the lupine growl he lets out startles both of you.

also, fight this man, not seriously, but ask him to show you a fighting maneuvre, ask him to help you train a bit to get stronger, ask him for self defense tips, anything like that, there is a fifty fifty chance he gives you actual fighting tips, his priority always keeping you safe or he sends you off to his room to wait for him after one(1) grappling move.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do): in his room, behind closed doors after he has made sure you won't be disturbed for the night.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going): he'd like to say its after a battle or after a good sparring session, when his blood still runs hot, but in reality it's when you two simply get to sit quietly together, talking. i am gonna burn in hell for sure here he is talking about his poor dead mother and i can't stop wishing his hands were unbuttoning my dress vibes, he'll turn to you smile and thank you for listening to him before leaning down to kiss you asking you what are your plans for the night as he gently nips at your jawline, his hands already moving at the hem of your shirt, thumbing the fabric as if asking for permission to keep going.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): he will never bring whatever you are doing outside his bedroom, he takes his job too seriously to do so, his brothers might tease him and goad him on joking about him showing off his pretty little toy, letting them meet you, but he keeps his mouth firmly shut, so don't really expect any surprise sex outside the safety of his room.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): he is very very very dedicated to the task of pleasing you, let him bury his face between your legs and stay there the entire night, the size difference really works in his favour when he puts his mouth around you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.): he has one consistent pace, he rarely falters from it, in and out of you like a machine, you don't even get to know when he is about to cum, he just suddenly stops deep inside of you and stays there for a good solid minute growling as he empties himself.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): they make him nervous, he needs to take his time, make sure he has handed over his vox for the night, called in a favor from someone to take over orders if he is called up and even when you are in his bed, he just can't rush it, he needs to prepare you, it's also very common for him to lose track of time with you after, quickies just don't work.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.): following up from some of the things established above, he does not like calling in favors from his brothers, they always grin and give him knowing looks about what he has planned for the night, but he refuses to half ass anything and put you, himself or his position in the mournival at risk, he just sucks up the embarrassment with flushed cheeks and his tail tucked between his legs. needless to say he isn't very spontaneous or experimental.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?): he tends to underestimate just how much you can handle. he paces himself to give you one good solid round and doesn't bother you after that even if you can see that he is ready to keep going.you really have to reassure him you can take more than that.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?): he doesn’t care for them, in the beginning his pride definitely gets wounded at the thought of not being enough to satisfy you, once he thinks it over though, he understands the toys aren’t his enemies. he still doesn’t care much about bringing them in your bedroom but do tell him how you use them and how you were thinkng of him while he was gone.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): he is a big tease, he surprises you with that, he knows your body, you know he knows your body, he can feel you, smell you, hear you, so when you feel yourself about to cum and he pulls back for the fifth time that night, in favor of kissing your trembling thighs or lazily pump his fingers inside of you, his other hand stopping you from wiggling your hips against his face, you know he is doing it on purpose. all you have to do is ask for him to stop teasing you and he will just act as if he wasn't even aware he was doing so while finally finally pushing inside of you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): he is quiet but he pants like an animal, it's not that he necessarily silences himself, but he is always so focused to the feel of everything, lost in pleasure or trying to keep his mind clear enough to make sure he isn't hurting you, that he just forgets he can ask you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character): he loves kissing, once he gets the hang of it, he is a big kisser, stealing you away briefly to greet you with a quick peck to your lips or when he is about to leave a kiss to your forehead or when you are in his room on your sides lazily making out. he definitely has an oral fixation loves when you shove your fingers in his mouth as he is fucking you, he'll have you on your back and as you move to cup his face he'll turn his head to pull your fingers between his lips, it's instinctive.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes): he has a very pretty cock, pale like the rest of him with a pink head you have to tug the foreskin back from, thicker towards the base

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): he is very straight forward, there is a bit of a learning curve, figuring out what exactly the emotions you stir within him are, then accepting them, maybe asking around about the possibilities, getting laughed at by torgaddon, and finally he simply comes to you. it’s one of those nights after a good battle, after a decisive victory against the imperium’s foes, with blood rushing to his face from excitement and his brothers laughing with him, he steals away a moment to ask you to talk. he has no real plan about it, but he won’t let himself get tormented by thoughts of you any longer. after that you are kind of left initiating, he never denies you, but if you leave it up to him it's rare that his mind will fully go there.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): he sleeps like a little freak, on his stomach, face mushed into his one(1) pillow, it makes you wonder if he can even breathe like that, he likes when you hold him, he won’t outright ask you, still making peace with the nature of your relationship but whenever you move away in the middle of the night he always lifts his head up to see what you are doing, the complaint evident in his grey eyes.

[deconstructthesoup]

Thoughts on a Leverage-Dead Boy Detectives crossover that I'll probably never officially write but still:

-The Leverage crew (Redemption timeline because it lines up with the DBD show, but Hardison's there in person) is staying in London for a little while, mainly because Sophie's trying her best to reconnect with Astrid again

-They get hired by a woman who says that her younger sister, who was a student at St. Hillarion's (which went co-ed sometime in the 90's), died mysteriously and she's absolutely sure that the school covered up the circumstances

-And guess what? Meanwhile, the DBD crew's been hired by the ghost of the girl who died, and while it is a pretty personal case for Edwin and Charles, they agree that not solving the case would be a disservice to themselves

-So, the two teams make gameplans---Hardison, Eliot, and Parker infiltrate the school as teachers (Breanna is Hardison's TA, much to her irritation) while Sophie and Harry act as shady lawyers who tell the headmaster that they're very good at burying secrets; and Crystal and Niko get enrolled as exchange students while Jenny gets a position in the cooking staff (the Night Nurse absolutely refuses to actively take part in the case-solving, and of course Edwin and Charles don't need aliases)

-However, things start to go south for both teams pretty quick

-For starters, Sophie and Harry know Crystal, at least by way of her parents---Sophie attempted to pull a con on Maddy back in the day, failed, and convinced her to con her rival instead, and Harry helped the Surname-von Hoverkrafts out of some legal trouble when they still lived in the States

-Not to mention, Breanna's very tapped into the social media circuit, and she knows that a) Crystal used to be the epitome of the entitled rich showbiz kid, b) that she dated some guy named David and then went completely off-grid for weeks, and c) she's suddenly had a complete personality and lifestyle change

-And on the flip side of things, Charles is a little too interested in the weirdly high-tech things that the new computer science teacher and his TA have hanging around, which means that Breanna and Hardison are convinced that someone is sabotaging them when it's really just Charles accidentally breaking their gadgets

-This comes to a head when the OT3's having a lunch break on the grounds, Parker points out Niko, and Hardison and Eliot immediately begin making fun of the stuffy-looking kid in a bow tie that she's talking to... and when Breanna comes up with her sandwich in hand, she's incredibly confused, because all she sees is Niko talking to herself

-So, naturally, Hardison, Parker, and Eliot wind up scouring the school records until they eventually find a boy who matches Edwin's description... who, of course, vanished mysteriously over a century ago, along with five or six of his classmates

-Hardison talks Eliot and Parker into doing a stakeout of the computer lab, and they wind up catching Charles in his "fiddling with electronics" act---and, well, it turns out that a) Eliot can beat up a ghost, even one who's a fairly decent fighter himself, and b) Parker carries a pair of iron cuffs with her (why? she's Parker, next question)

-There's a little interrogation action between Charles and the Leverage crew... except, of course, Breanna and Harry still can't see him, and they don't understand why all of these legendary thieves are yelling at an empty chair

-And then the electricity cuts out and everyone hears whispers

-And suddenly someone puts their hands on Hardison's shoulder and he's thrust back into that time with the coffin

-And Eliot turns around and sees the mean goth from the kitchens pointing a knife at him, and the two of them wind up facing off

-Everyone else is stuck in a full-ass vengeful haunting, but Parker notices Crystal holding onto Hardison, Niko sneaking over to Charles, and Edwin standing at the center of the room with his eyes glowing and a hellish aura radiating off of him

-Parker does the sensible thing and, after getting Sophie to pull Crystal off of the boys, takes the cuffs off of Charles's hands

-The haunting immediately stops, Breanna and Harry can definitely see Edwin and Charles... and both teams have some explaining to do

-Once they figure out that they're here for the same reason, Niko's the first to suggest that they work together

-There's a lot of arguing over that, but the general consensus is that they're after the same goal, they're on the same side, and clearly if they don't actively work together, things are gonna go sideways

-Also, once they start talking, Breanna is very psyched to know everything about the supernatural side of things, and Parker decides that she's going to make Niko her apprentice (mostly because they have been getting along in the girl's gym class---and yes, St. Hillarion's does have different gym classes for boys and girls, despite it being co-ed now)

-Once they begin comparing notes, Charles mentions that he recognizes the headmaster---it's the same one he had when he was a student, and the man was already ancient then

-And... yep, turns out that the headmaster is a supernatural entity that's been doing some seriously messed-up shit in order to stay alive

-The two teams settle on a double-pronged attack---some of them will figure out how to get rid of the headmaster for good, while the others will figure out a way to expose the school's habit of covering up hate crimes

-I don't know how it finishes, but... uh, yeah, if anybody wants to take a crack at this, in fic form or comic form, you're free to

(Also, Eliot pretty much adopts Edwin and Charles the second he learns how messed up their lives were, there's also a few schemes from Niko, Crystal, and Breanna to get Payneland together, and Sophie somehow finds out Nate's afterlife placement and is beyond relieved to find out that he's living his afterlife in peace after all)

[r0-boat]

Helloo, can you do marbas NSFW alphabet next? thanks so muuch

I love doing alphabets so much

Marbas NSFW Alphabet

Cw: daddy kink??? (he really likes to take care of you), kidnapping, bondage.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Marbas will kill a fucker if he here's any devil that doesn't do aftercare after sex. he doesn't care how gentle he fucks you. You👏get👏aftercare👏👏👏

Sometimes you even get carried away, like eating you out then checking for bruises as if His tongue assaulted more than just your dick/pussy. Let's just say he's a little too excited to take care of you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Your legs. He gets a neuron activation when he The ropes he ties you with squeeze just enough for your thighs to bulge slightly.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He likes to paint your body with his cum so then he can have the excuse of taking a shower with you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to tied up, chained down whatever. He wants to keep you as his little prisoner as he dots and takes care of you despite the ropes and chains. You won't even know that he's holding you captive.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Yes, He is a professional after all.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Any position that's good with any kind of bondage he almost exclusively uses.

And any position where his hand could easily reach the whatever that's binding you to tug loosen or fasten whatever he sees fit.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

No, unless you're speaking you're safe word you better not joke with him or else he'll just gag you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He shaves almost daily.

But when he is in shaved, when he's so busy he doesn't have time You can see a little happy line beginning to grow

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He doesn't see himself as a romantic guy, He doesn't really overthink on over the top romantic gestures especially during sex, However pampering you is a different story

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Ever since He hasn't met you his hand no longer does it for him... And it's frustrating because he's always so pent up from his job and his mind running wild with the most filthiest thoughts of you on your knees for him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He loves roleplay especially when he's playing a caretaker role because It feels so natural to take care of you.

Heavy bondage in any kind of restraints? Yes please!

Has a guilty pleasure for chastity.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He prefers doing it in the bedroom but he can be easily persuaded to do it anywhere EXCEPT His place of work no matter how tempting you are; it's fun to watch him short circuit when he sees you and cute nurse outfits or handsome doctor coats. Just to take you home and absolutely destroy you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Seeling you wearing anything tight! Anything that hugs your body juuust right. Leaving nothing to the imagination.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

If he can't pamper you after sex then he's not going to fuck you. Aftercare it's the second best part of sex for him after all.

He will leave you bitten and bruised choke you and spit on you but if he can't rush to give you a glass of water kiss you on the forehead and run his fingers through your hair as he dabs any wounds with a q-tip soaked in rubbing alcohol then he's not going do it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He rather be giving than receiving. I'd rather be the one to make you shudder shake and scream underneath him. He rather be the one to restrain you to watch you squirm and struggle underneath your restraints as your cum floods his mouth. But that doesn't mean he doesn't like when the opposite is true when he feels leather tight on his skin as your warm wet mouth milk him dry.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He likes to start off slow and sensual, before treating you like a fuck doll.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

(Read the letter N)

He's about 50/50 on quickies...

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Of course! Happy to experiment! Especially if it's something you want to do to him. Especially if it's bondage of any kind

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Despite being a devil he actually tries not to go exceed your limit unless you ask him. After both of you finish he still wants more But you will always come first in his eyes.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Yes! Fuck yes! Stuffing your poor hole full with a vibrator while your tight up where you have no choice but to accept his cock in your mouth.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

As much as he likes to tease, he's not cruel, all you have to do is beh in that sweet voice of yours and he'll give anything you want.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's loud, and he's embarrassed that he struggles to stifle his moans.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Marbas Has a collection of different types of ropes, hand cuffs, and bindings he's itching to try. His favorite to use is ribbons, it makes you look like a cute little present all for him to eye-fuck.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Monster cock... Aaaah! like same size as Lucifer, thick and vainy too, thick and tight balls.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Very, he just doesn't show it. He yearnes for your body so much it hurts. His mind filled with images of your lewd face and plans of what he can do to you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Nope aftercare comes first and waits for you to fall asleep.

[make-me-imagine]

Evan Buckley A-Z Relationship Headcanons

Pairing: Evan Buckley x Gn!Reader

Words: 3.2k

A/n: This is my first time doing these types of headcanons, so I hope it goes well. Get's a bit less detailed towards the end, mostly because I jut wanted to get them out already lol.

A: affection (is he affectionate? how?):

Buck is very affectionate! Emotionally, verbally and physically.

He doesn't shy away from showing his affection either. If you don't mind PDA he is all for it. If you are a bit shy about it, he will just hold your hand, or have his arm draped around your waist.

He is a cuddler, and enjoys you being close to him physically. And he loves to hold you tight, and press kisses to your head, shoulder, cheeks and hands whenever he can (and your lips obviously).

He is emotionally and verbally affectionate and will often remind you how much he loves you. He compliments you like crazy and will tell you anytime you do something he thinks is cute.

B: Boyfriend (what is he like a a boyfriend; boyfriend things):

Buck can be a little dense at times, but he tries very hard to be a loving and caring boyfriend. He can be very selfless though so you gotta make sure he is looking out for himself too. He is a romantic at heart so expect random gifts, fancy dates, flowers, snacks, etc.

He is protective, and the last thing he wants is for you to get hurt. But this might drive you up the wall sometimes if he gets a bit too protective lol.

Constantly hearing new and bizarre facts he learned on the job, or when he fell down a research rabbit hole and two in the morning

Also, if you are someone who gets your period, he would take care of you. Bring you anything your craving buy you heating/cooling pads, medicine, etc. Anything to make you feel better if you are in pain.

C: Confession (did he confess first? how did he confess?):

He was fairly straight forward with his confession. You already knew he was interested since he basically made it obvious from the beginning. And he asked you out on a few dates. But when he wanted to tell you how he really felt about you (meaning his attraction was full-blown romantic feelings), he brought you flowers and gave you a charming smile.

He gave you a cute speech about how you made his heart hammer in his chest every time he saw you, and that he never really got butterflies from someone until he met you. Buck would make it clear that he wanted a serious relationship with you, and that you had become a part of him, and that you had his heart (so please don't break it).

D: Dates (what kind of dates do you go on?):

Buck loves a fun date. Sure he goes with the romantic candle-lit dinners every now and again, but he really loves fun and cute dates.

Picnics on the beach or in the park. Amusement park dates, arcade dates, movies, bowling, mini golf. Any and every activity you could do together, he is ready and willing.

If you plan a date he is all for it as well, he can find and make fun out of anything. Hell, he even enjoys date nights at home just watching movies and eating take-out. Any time spent with you with great to him.

E: Excitement (what does he do to bring excitement into your relationship)

Similar to the fun dates previously mentioned, he might suggest adventurous things. Bungee jumping, helicopter rides, boat rides, etc.. Anything that might bring adrenaline without being too dangerous. He makes sure to keep you on your toes and will be impulsive, bringing you along for the ride.

Maybe recommending a weekend trip, camping, road-trips, etc. If he gets an idea, its hard for him not to run with it.

Buck is an over-planner, so you know he does his research as well, so you always feel safe (if not still scared).

F: Food (does he cook for you? do you cook for him?)

Over the last few years, Buck has gotten pretty good at cooking, so he enjoys cooking for you. If you love to cook as well, he enjoys the two of you cooking together in the kitchen, or watching as you make something for the two of you. If you cook, he cleans, if he cooks, you have to get to the dishes before he does because he will do them even if you say you will.

He learns (often with Bobby's help) how to make your favorite foods. So when you are having a hard time he can surprise you with them.

Buck really is a prime example of giving and receiving love through food.

G: Gifts (does he get you gifts? what kind? does he like gifts?)

You probably have a hundred little trinkets around your house because of Buck. Oh, he saw a little ferris wheel key chain that reminds him of your third date? He's buying it for you. See's couple aprons? Definitely buying those. Matching mugs? Yep.

Anything that reminds him of you will most likely be bought, or at least greatly debated. You can thank Eddie and Hen for the fact that you do not have a thousand other things that reminded Buck of you.

Anytime you give Buck gifts he cherishes them. If it's is something simple and cute, he gives you that dopey grin and hugs you. If it is something sentimental or special, he might get emotional, or will take pictures of it to show the others.

H: Hugs (is he a hugger? does he like hugs?)

Pretty obvious by now, but yes he is a hugger! Back hugs, side hugs, hugs where he lifts you off the ground. All the hugs!

He loves when you hug him too. If you come up and wrap your arms around him, he immediately stars grinning. Coo's at you, might lovingly tease you, and will press a kiss to your head. If you hug from from behind, he will grab your hands and press kisses to them.

I: "I Love You" (how did he first say 'I love you', does he say it often?)

Buck knew he was falling in love with you the second it started happening. When his friends were talking about marriage, and he could easily and happily picture marrying you. He knew.

It was a few weeks later when it slipped out. After a rough day at work, you were cuddling together after eating. You were running your fingers through his hair while he was talking about how he was feeling. He could feel your love for him in that moment and gently caressed your face.

"I love you, you know." "I do know. And I love you too."

He is not shy in saying he loves you after this. Every time you say goodbye, he needs to make sure you hear him say it. He does not believe you can say it too much to someone, and he always wants to make sure you know.

J: Jealous (does he get jealous? how does he show it?)

Buck isn't one to get jealous often. He trusts you 1000%. When others get close to you, showing interest or flirting, he gets more protective than he does jealous. He knows you would never give them the time of day, but that doesn't mean he can trust them to back off.

Before you were dating however, he would get that little pang of jealousy in his chest if others showed interest in you. And if you seemed to be interested at all, he would feel it more as well as a bit worried that he might lose his chance.

K: Kissing (does he like kissing? how does he kiss?)

Like previously mentioned, Buck is a fan of physical affection and this does include kissing. Though he is fine with PDA, kissing isn't part of that, apart from a kiss on the cheek or forehead.

Kisses on the lips are for just the two of you. He can get lost in kissing you as well, and he loves lying on the couch or bed, with you in his arms as you slowly kiss each other. He also is the type too pull you flush against him as he is kissing you. Or he places his hands on either side of your face as he kisses you.

He often gives you kisses as he passes by you. Either a quick kiss on the cheek, temple of a peck on the lips.

When you kiss him he melts, and often smiles into the kiss, especially if he was not expecting it.

L: Love Languages (what are his giving and receiving love languages?)

Buck's main giving love languages is Acts of Service, while he also often uses physical affection and gifts to remind you how much he loves you.

His receiving love languages are words of affirmation and quality time. He loves being reminded and told that he is loved as it reassures him. And he loves just being around you, it doesn't matter what you are doing, just as you are together.

M: Marriage (does he want to get married? what would married life be like with him?)

Buck totally wants to get married, and thinks about it often. He knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

Being married to him wouldn't be much different than when you were dating. The only thing that really changes, is how he enthusiastically introduces you as his spouse, rather than his partner. He loves the sound of it, and it reminds him that you are together forever.

On the other side of it, if he is dating someone who does not want to get married, he is okay with it. He might be a little disappointed, but he'd never force his partner to do something they don't like. But this would not stop him from buying you some sort of promise ring, or token to remind you that he wants to be with you forever, married or not.

N: Nicknames (does he use nicknames or pet-names with you? what do you call him?)

On a daily basis he will call you by whatever nick-name you go by, or just your name. But he has a variety of pet-names for you. Babe, baby, sweetheart. If you are shorter than him he calls you 'Little One' or 'short-cake'.

You usually call him Buck, or Evan if you need to get his attention. Otherwise you call him Babe, Handsome, or Gorgeous.

O: Oath (what kind of things does he promise you?)

One of the biggest promises in your relationship is that no matter what. You both try your hardest to come home to each other every day. Alive, and safe.

He also always promises to make you happy, and to never hurt you. Something you promise him as well.

You promise each other to never hold things in, and to always tell each other everything. Communication is very important in your relationship.

P: Proposal (how would he propose?)

Buck is a romantic, so he will be planning something for a few weeks before he actually proposes. He gets advice from everyone, asking if his ideas are good, if he should do more, less, etc. He panics, but only because he wants it to be perfect.

Finally, he decides to do it on a weekend, when you are both off of work. You go stay in a cute house a few hours away near the coast. On the second day, while you were in the shower, he set up a picnic for the two of you.

When you were ready he asked you to go on a walk with him. You noticed he is a bit antsy, but you try not to think much of it. Though you had an idea he was planning something, you didn't think it was a proposal.

The walk was to the area he set up the picnic. You figured this was the surprise, and that was why he was a bit antsy. Hoping you liked it. Which you very much did.

After you ate, and the sun began to set, that was when he proposed. As you were looking out at the sunset, you turned back to look at him and he was on one knee.

He had a speech, because of course he would. It was emotional and romantic and made you cry. It was perfect.

Q: Quarrels (do you fight? what are fights like with him)

You rarely fight with Buck as he is the type to talk everything out, something you both decided was important.

So the only times you really argued, was when he did something reckless, usually endangering his life. You get angry out of love, but he might get defensive leading to an argument.

You make up fairly quickly though as you both realize the other's view. Buck is Buck and will do anything to save others. But you are afraid of losing him. He apologizes, and promises he will try his best not to put himself into more danger than he already gets into (you know this is kind of a lie, but you forgive him anyways).

R: Remember (does he remember important things?)

Not only does he remember important things like birthdays and anniversaries, but he remembers very small things. Details about you, and your relationship.

What flavors of ice cream, desserts, candy, you do and do not like. What specific orders you like with coffee or drinks. The ingredients in meals you avoid, or push to the side to save for last.

He remembers the places you've said you'd like to go to, the dates you've said sound cute.

He even has a notebook of stuff he's written down because he doesn't want to forget.

On the opposite side of this, he is horrible at remembering things like appointments or where you said you were going after work. So when you don't come home he gets worried and messages you, only for you to have to remind him that you were visiting your parents or friends. Something you told him about four times.

S: Sentimental (is he sentimental? how?)

Buck is pretty sentimental. He loves taking photos anytime you do something, dates, trips, going on walks. He has folders on his phone with 1000's of photos of the two of you and all the things you've done together.

He occasionally keeps things like ticket stubs, or stuff like that, but only if it was something meaningful or really fun. If you are the type to keep those kinds of things too, he thinks it is cute, and will make sure to keep them for you, so you can put them with the others.

T: Together (how does he act with you in public vs in private)

There is not a real difference with how he acts with you in public versus private. He does not hide how he feels about you. The only thing that is different, is how he keeps the PDA on the more casual side like previously mentioned.

He is not afraid of telling people about you, or how much he loves and admires you. He is proud of you and loves telling people you are together and about your relationship.

U: Uplifting (how does he cheer you up? what is the best way to cheer him up?)

When you are upset, Buck tries his best to cheer you up. He will buy you snacks, flowers, make you food, anything to show you that he is there for you. He will set up the couch to be all cozy, turn on your favorite shows or movies and just cuddle with you.

If you need to talk or rant about your feelings he will listen intently and make you feel seen.

If you need a break from the world, he might take you on a small trip, or do his best to distract you from the world.

He knows how much you try your best to make him happy so he will do his best to do the same for you. Any day you are sad or do not smile, is his least favorite day.

V: Vacation (when or where would you go on vacation together?)

Went over this a little bit before. But with more specific trips, if you only have the weekend off, you might take a road trip up the coast, or go visit Yosemite.

If you had a week or longer then you would take a trip out of the country. Most likely to a cute European town, or some place on the ocean.

You look for places with a lot of activities and places to visit like restaurants and museums, because you want to get as much out o the trip as you can. Though, if your vacation comes after a long stressful time, a place near the ocean where you relax and do very little is just what you need.

W: Wedding (what kind of wedding would you have?)

If you and Buck get married, he will be happy with whatever you want. If you want a small simple wedding, he is all for it. Close friends and family only.

If you want big and extravagant, he is all for it and will help you come up with fun ideas to make it the best it can be.

Most likely though, you will have something in the middle. Not too big, not to small. With a few things both of you wanted. Your decorations and theme, food trucks and maybe a karaoke machine for Buck. And you know there will for sure be a dance sequence with Eddie buck and Chimney (with a special appearance by Chris and Bobby). It is embarrassing, but also very funny, and you often look back on the video when you need to cheer up.

X: Xtra (a random head canon I have)

Your first date with Buck was home-made dinner at his place.

He burned it a little, since he was so nervous, but you thought it was good anyways. You cleaned the dishes together and ended up having a small water fight in the kitchen. Which then lead to your first kiss.

Y: Yearning (does he yearn for you when you are apart? how does he deal with it?)

Buck doesn't like being apart from you for too long, because he misses you easily. He is so used to you being in his life daily that when you aren't around he feels like a part of him is missing.

So to remedy this, he texts you a lot and face times with you whenever he can. He also has a tendency to talk about you a lot more often when you aren't around. Which often leads to Eddie or Chimney texting you begging you to cm back sooner before they kill him.

Z: zZzZz (sleeping habits)

Buck falls sleep fairly easily, and is also kind of hard to wake up. He can be a bed and blanket hog sometimes, but once he gets used to sharing a bed with you, it lessens.

He is a snuggler as well, and likes to be the big spoon holding you close to him. He is quite big and very warm so sometimes you have to rip your blankets off so you don't overheat.

He likes the occasional nap, and will sometimes kidnap you from whatever you are doing and carry you to the bed with him so you can nap with him. He will hold you tight, so good luck trying to sneak away if that was your plan. You're stuck now.

xx

First time doing this like I said, so I hope you liked it!

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @imaginesfire, @onuen, @rexit-mo, @witchygagirl, @alexxavicry

911 + Buck Taglist: @spuffyfan394, @webreathfandoms, @locke-writes, @persephonesportal, @pockyandme, @soultrysworld, @averyhotchner, @iinmysights, @that-marvel-simp, @gatefleet, @merlin-dahlia, @silverose365, @bellarkeselection, @shiftingwh0r3, @rqmanoff, @fanboysfangirl, @readingbookelf, @luvwanda, @oliviah-25,

[rockethorse]

Stocking Stuffer 1/5: A Bajillion Random Painting Recolours

Happy Holidays to all! While I'm proud that last year I finally managed to achieve a longtime goal of sharing a full TS2 Advent Calendar, I'm simply not gonna be able to pull it off this year. Nonetheless, the holidlay spirit has encouraged me to finish up and share a couple of things before the end of the year! I'll be sharing five little gifts over the next few arbitrary days. First up: A BUNCH of Maxis painting recolours.

One recolour each of A/B/C Stroke (yes, I still enjoy playing with these as three separate paintings) using vintage matchbook covers designed by Saul Bass for The Ohio Match Company.

Two recolours +frames for Abstrutionism; "Poppy Cake" by Adolf Fényes (1910), and then this edit of Christina's World by Andrew Wyeth (1948) to include Bella Goth (the original Tumblr poster has deactivated).

A recolour of Anonymous Masterpiece with these two digital paintings by user chestnutroan featuring their farmer Sim and his two alien daughters.

One recolour of the Arghist Soldier with "Friday Nights" by Deborah DeWit (2006), perfect for your novel-enthusiast Sims' reading nook.

One recolour of City Skyline with a fruit & veg painting by Twitter user snail_soup (you can buy a real print of this too if you like it!)

One recolour of the Fourth Element wall scroll with "From Stardust to Stardust - Raccoon" by user ArtOfMienda.

Four Vegetables recoloured with four deliciously juicy tomato paintings by artist Leah Gardner.

Geometry 101 recoloured with a beautiful palette knife painting by Lynn Boggess.

Two recolours of Grilled Cheese (you all know what Grilled Cheese looks like, c'mon); one vintage ad for Hollywood Diet bread which I cleaned/redrew to remove text/graphics, and then "Cloud Rows" by Ivan Eyre (2004).

In The Beginning (+frame) recoloured with "Little Thief" by Courtney / Trash Kitty Art (also available as an affordable IRL print).

Kitten vs. Yarn (+frame) recoloured with this goache painting by user ieafy.

"Until Tonight" by Mark Grantham (2019) slapped on Lady On Red.

Two recolours of Living Room; "Midwestern Summer Fun" by user ink-the-artist (you may wanna zoom in for a surprise), then "Girl On A Swing" (2000) by Andrew Macara.

One recolour of Marketing Print with the Beatles as drawn by other Beatles. I don't remember who drew who because I'm actually not much of a Beatles fan but I thought these sketches were really darling.

In Memory of Johnny Gnome (+frame) recoloured with a piece by Emma Roulette.

A recolour of My First Holiday with art from Twitter user heikala_art.

On Pointed Toes (+frame) recoloured with this digital painting by Twitter user catwheezie.

I fell in love with this Guinness ad so I tweaked it from the photo to fit on the Route 66 poster, then made an accompanying Simlish option.

A single Scruffles recolour (+frame) with this adorable cow illustration by Twitter user poodlewool.

Four recolours of the Sim Noir pop art print; three pieces by Al Parker I found through this Tweet (with some English removed) and then an edit of the original painting to look passingly familiar...

Two recolours (+frames) of Snoozing Enemies; "The Cat on the Pillow" by Adolf von Becker, and "Sleeping Sasha" by Lena Rivo.

Stiller Life (+frame) recoloured with this oil painting of McDonalds by artist Noah Verrier.

Two recolours (+frames) of Stumped Hound; "Shadow" by Tianyi Zhou and "cat falling off table" by user anasauruss.

The Muse recoloured with this Juxtapoz magazine cover by artist Josh Courlas.

And lastly, three recolours of Untitled (the Bella Goth pop art painting) with works by Hiroshi Nagai.

Download All Paintings @ SFS

[scnderlands]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝒩𝒮𝐹𝒲 𝒜𝐿𝒫𝐻𝒜𝐵𝐸𝒯 — j.slaughter

warnings + tags — MINORS / AGELESS BLOGS DNI, female reader, mentions of sex, dacryphilia, blood kink, non-con kink, knife play, johnny slaughter being johnny slaughter, typical nsfw things

authors notes — I’ve been wanting to do an alphabet for some of the tcm characters forever, so why not kick it off with a dirty little johnny post? this is all for fun and games, so if you don’t agree w anything, that’s okay <3 I might make some more n/sfw alphabets if people want, too (also let’s pretend I’m not uploading this at 6am).

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

at first he wasn’t exactly understanding of aftercare, he was used to just fucking and leaving, you know, the whole family business. but once he got with you, you taught him what aftercare actually was and it became one of him favourite things — he’d actually look forward to it, not that he’d tell you that. the idea of holding you close to him, all sweaty and panting, both of you more relaxed than you ever could be, enjoying the silence and the come down from your shared high. what could be better?

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

his favourite body part of yours is definitely your ass and thighs, doesn’t matter whether they’re big or small, he just loves the soft parts of your body. he loves squeezing them, slapping them, biting them, laying on them — whatever, he is just borderline obsessed with them. but in all honesty, every single part of your body is his favourite, he’s just so into you that he can barely contain himself.

his favourite part of himself is his arms and hands, his muscular biceps and large hands make him feel manly and give him extra confidence, plus when he’s choking someone, seeing his hands or arms cover them completely kinda gets him going. plus he knows how much you love those parts of him, and that makes him like himself just that little bit more.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he’s filthy when it comes to his cum, he’ll have it everywhere — he’ll cum on your face, your ass, in your mouth, and even forcing it into your cunt and breeding you like you deserve. he claims you as his and him having his cum in you or all over you just cements that fact. it tastes a little salty but mostly just normal, he likes to think he has a “good” diet just for your taste.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

johnny is a dirty little panty stealer, especially dirty panties. any time you’re showering or have gotten changed, he’ll pick up a pretty pair and shove it into his pocket, and he’ll act completely innocent when you ask if he’s seen them anywhere — he’ll just claim he probably ripped them to shreds when he fucked you, or threw them behind something accidentally. he loves smelling them while he’s masturbating (which isn’t often) but when he really misses you, then it just brings him that much closer to you. he has a secret little stash of them in his shack, tucked away in the back of a drawer, all different colours and styles just for his pleasure.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

no surprise but he is pretty damn experienced, but in the beginning he only really fucked for his own pleasure, not really caring about the other person. but when he got you, then all he wanted was to hear you moaning, to hear his name tumbling from your pretty lips. so he focused on and used everything he knew best, and of course he listened and learnt what you enjoyed — he basically became a god of fucking you, knowing everything that made you break, the things that made you quiver and come without him barely touching you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

surprisingly, missionary is his favourite, mostly because he likes seeing your face while he’s fucking you, having his hands wrapped around your throat or pinning your hands above your head. there’s something intimate about the simplicity of missionary and he loves that. but he enjoys mixing it up a little, missionary that turns into a mating press, and whatnot.

his second favorite is doggy, but because he loves ass, and it makes it easy to wrap his arm around your neck and pull you back into his chest. a secret favourite as well is forcing you into the full nelson, because what wouldn’t be enjoyable about that?

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he’s more serious but it’s because he gets lost in the moment, he’s so concentrated on making you come that he doesn’t really take the moment to be more relaxed. but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to laugh and joke on during it, he’ll often say things that makes you chuckle, especially when he’s being “sweet” — but he doesn’t make a habit to go out of his way to make a joke unless it’s to lighten the mood after an intense session.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

johnny is pretty well groomed, he often shaves his armpits and trims his pubes, mostly because of the hot weather so he likes to keep it shorter but also because he feels more comfortable. he definitely leaves hair down there though, and grows out his happy trail because he knows he looks good with it. and of course he leaves the little bit of chest hair he has. all of his hair is jet black, and pretty thick and straight.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he can sometimes be nice and loving, slow and romantic. whispering sweet nothings into your ear, pumping in and out of you deeply, just showing how he loves you. but of course he has the moments, which is more likely, where he fucks you hard and rough, using you for his own pleasures. it all depends on the moment, the day, and his mood, but expect a bit of everything from him. but johnny has his own ways of intimacy, his own way of showing his love and being what he thinks is romantic, even if he is being rough the entire time.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he rarely jacks off, instead he prefers having sex with you to relieve himself, but on the off times he does need to jack off, then he has specific things he’ll do. like stated he’ll sniff your panties or look at polaroids of naked pictures you took for him, picturing you riding him and moaning for him. he’ll edge himself a lot, too, your name always rolling off his tongue when he moves his hand nice and slow up and down his cock. other times he wants it over quickly, locking himself in the bathroom and fucking his hand hard and fast, just needing to come and get it over with so he can get back to his busy schedule.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

blood kink — need I say more? he loves eating and tasting people, and your blood is something that he loves tasting, especially when he’s balls deep inside of you. there’s something so intimate about licking the blood trickling down your neck and making love to you at the same time, something so intimate about sharing something like blood with each other. he also loves having you taste his, whether it’s from biting his lip or even just licking his wound when he accidentally cuts himself.

knife kink — again, a pretty obvious one, the man who walks around with a knife and cuts people up basically for a living? he likes the way you flinch under the cool steel of his blade, cutting your clothes off your body with it, leaving lines and marks on you. he’ll cut you if you let him, not deep enough to scar, but enough to get a little blood from you, two kinks for the price of one.

non-con kink — he loves having his way with you, especially when you’re begging him to stop or when you’re whimpering and crying. of course he doesn’t hurt you, instead he pleasures until you can’t take it anymore, until you want it to stop but he just won’t. sometimes he’ll grab you from behind when you least expect it, blindfold and gag you, tie you up and fuck you senseless.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he’s a simple man with simple pleasures, taking you on a bed or the sofa in his shack is good enough for him, anything with soft padding for him and you to be comfortable. but sometimes he likes to mix it up, fucking you in a victims car or bending you over a table in his mothers house and having his way with you. it depends on his mood like usual, it doesn’t matter where it is as long as he gets to cum in you — but he does have a preference for the risky areas, the outdoor places where you have the chance to be caught, or even just places where he didn’t bother locking the door.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

he’s a pretty simple man so a lot of things you do turn him on, it can be as simple as seeing you all warm and bothered on a hot summers day or seeing you bend over picking something up off the floor. but some other things are a little meaner, like seeing you cry when you’re upset or when you’re annoyed with him and you pout all cute like. his favourite thing though, is when you’re angry or really upset, shouting at him, pushing him away or pounding on his chest to get him away — that instantly sends the blood to his cock.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

there isn’t much he wouldn’t do, or at least there isn’t really any hard no’s. but he isn’t a fan of threesomes, he doesn’t like the idea of anyone else touching you, pleasing you — he knows he’s enough for you and you’re enough for him, so why would you want to invite someone else into the bedroom? as for turn offs, there isn’t really many, something might turn his off once because of his mood or just how he’s feeling on that day but then it might not the next time.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

just like most people, he loves recieving and seeing you on your knees, especially when you’re choking and gagging on him. but he absolutely loves going down on you, he loves to pleasure you and anything that gets you moaning his name, he loves. he’s really good at it too, he was already good before he met you but he’s learnt exactly what gets you going, and god knows he can work miracles with that tongue of his. there are times he’ll go down on you for the sake of it, not even expecting it to be foreplay for sex. he’ll just push you up against something and drop to his knees, pushing your panties to the side and eating you out, then he’ll just go about the rest of his day like normal after making you come on his face.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he goes between fast and rough and slow and sensual, but most of the time he likes it fast and rough. throwing you about and using you as a glorified fleshlight and making you come at his will is just too much to pass up. when he’s been more romantic or sensual, he likes to have you in missionary, his head buried in the crook of your neck where his moans and sighs are slightly muffled, and he can just push his cock into you nice and slowly.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

as much as he loves taking his time with you, he loves a good old fashioned quickie, bending you over some car or throwing you up against a wall when he needs to relieve himself. he’s worse with it when he’s had a bad day and something has annoyed him, he’ll practically hunt you down just to fuck you. he doesn’t have quickies every day, but it’ll be at least one or twice every couple of days.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

johnny is completely down for taking risks, fucking you in easily caught places and places that are pretty dangerous — the most noticeable place being near his mothers house, or even inside, he’ll drag you off somewhere when you’re visiting her and have his way with you then act like nothing happened when you can barely walk. he loves to experiment with you, too, after all he has some pretty out there kinks that you didn’t exactly like or ever think about trying, but he respects if you have hard no’s — he’s a lot more caring than he pretends to be.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

not so surprisingly, he has a lot of stamina, and can go a whole bunch of rounds, but usually he’ll tap out after two, or a very long session. he enjoys having multiple sessions throughout the day rather than all at once, because then he can burn off all that energy and anger he gets during the day. during a usual session, foreplay included, it’ll last around 45 minutes to an hour — after all, he really loves taking his time with you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

so he’s pretty hit and miss with toys, he didn’t exactly like them at first. he was kinda insulted when you brought up the idea of having a vibrator / when he found yours, because he took it that he wasn’t good enough for you and that you clearly needed to have something else make you come. after you finally convinced him to just use it on you during sex, his entire world lit up. watching how easy it was to have you a quivering, blubbering, sniveling mess sent blood rushing straight to his cock — and now a lot of the time, especially during longer sessions, he’ll use it on you to tease or give his hand a little bit of a break if he needs it. he also loves making you use it on yourself while he watches, sometimes wanking himself off while you make yourself come.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’s a huuuuge tease, loves to edge you for as long as he can, it’s even better if he gets you to the edge of coming on a morning then he can leave for the day — but he tells you not to touch yourself, because he’ll know — sometimes he’ll even “check” during the day to make sure you haven’t made yourself come. if you’ve been good for him then he won’t tease you for too long, but it’s rare he goes a day without teasing you just a little bit. he just loves hearing you whimper and beg for him, and he gets off on being the only one that can make you come.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

johnny grunts and cusses a lot during sex, or even when you’re just teasing / going down on him. he has no issue being vocal anymore, although he was a lot quieter when you first got together. now he’s completely fine with moaning into your ear, and he actually loves moaning your name, he doesn’t even care who hears — he likes you knowing how good you make him feel, plus he knows how much it turns you on having him moaning and cussing when he’s deep inside you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

okay I’ve said it a million times, and I’ll say it a million more, he’s actually really sweet to you, and treats you like an angel. at first he’d be a little mean, still saying things that would hurt your feelings or just scaring you by him being him — but once you’d been dating awhile, he’s the “hurt them and I kill you” type guy, the one that’ll kill for you, the one that’ll die for you. he’s so wrapped around your little finger it’s almost unbelievable, he’s so in love that he’d do nearly anything you ask — but he’s only like that when you’re alone, for the most part. when you’re around other people he’s super possessive and lets others know who you belong to, always having a hand around your waist or yanking you into the most sexually fuelled kiss when someone talks to you for too long. nonetheless, he’d protect you with his life and is actually really sweet, in his own way, of course.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

okay he’s got a pretty huge dick, it’s 7”-7.5”, and it’s girthy as all hell, to the point he needs to warm you up a lot before even thinking about trying to push himself into you. he’s not cut, and he’s got a big fat vein that runs along the underside of his cock and it’s super sensitive around there, too. the closer to the tip of his cock, the more reddish purple it turns, especially when he’s hard. oh and let’s not forget, he’s got big, heavy balls as well.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he’s ridiculously horny, that man has a crazy sex drive and it was kinda hard to keep up with at first. he has a naturally high one anyway but it’s made worse by his obsession with you — he needs to be in you constantly, filling you, making you his. as soon as he wakes up he’s there being needy, he’s the exact same at night when you’re going to bed. and don’t be surprised if he doesn’t pull you round the back of a shack to fuck you during the day, too.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

johnny falls asleep instantly, there’s not a single thought behind that man’s eyes. and it’s made even worse when he tires himself out fucking you senseless a good few rounds before finishing — he’s the type that as soon as his head hits the pillow, he’s passed out snoring, mouth open, twitching and kicking you all night. or sometimes he’s just so still that you’re not sure he’s alive anymore, just perfectly motionless, couldn’t even be woken up by the end of the world.