#b nicer 2 kids pls

[ringmyheart]

hey, i was wondering if i could hv headcanons with how to fight characters? maybe when their crush's parents scold them for getting bad score at school, like that time at the end of the semester. pls do it with seong taehoon and jiyeon woo. thank you! 🥺

SEONG TAEHOON

The first thing he’s gonna do honestly is tell u to fight ur parents. U tell him about how u got a bad score and how it’s the end of the semester and the test/ur overall grade was important and he’s so used to living life the way HE wants he tells u to just. Fight them

And you’re first thought 2 say is idk how to fight? Bc what he said is just so sudden and kinda preposterous and ur upset and he’s like okay, I’ll teach u then and ur like I’m not fighting my parents 😭 and he goes okay then I’LL do it

And u have to rlly reiterate like” NOBODY is fighting my parents” first and foremost and after that he kind of just goes silent because he has no idea how to help you or what to do and u have knocked every idea he’s offered out of the park

Truthfully I don’t think he cares about grades too much for himself and this extends to you too. He doesn’t get why you’re so concerned, and his dad (I’m pretty sure form what we’ve seen so far) is really nice and laidback so it’s not like he’s ever being reprimanded so he’s also partfully angry at your parents bc they made u upset

Like rlly angry LMAO and as ur ranting to him ab how they yelled at u for bad grades he’s just like one day… one day he’s gna fight them 😐 he doesn’t make exceptions. He might tell u to tell them to watch out LMAO but he says it so dead seriously and u laugh but wonder if he’s even joking ?

He’s like okay well have u considered: running away

And u quickly dismiss that idea too bc u have nowhere to go and it’s literally just them scolding u ur like it’s not THAT srs... I’m just upset and he’s like u have a place to sta... nvm he’s not gonna b sweet if it’s not like absolutely necessary LOL

Bc of his lack of understanding or just overall interest in this kind of stuff, he just listens to u bc his advice clearly wasn’t cutting it for u.

He asks to see the grade and u hand him the test or the grade folder and it if ur grades weren’t even that bad, he’s gonna get frustrated w you and be like u have gotta b kidding me this is what ur stressed about 😐 what ur parents yelled at u for?? And he smacks u on the side of ur head and is like please tell me ur joking these are good. Anything above a C in his eyes is still really good

If ur grades were a D, he’s like neutral like okay yeah it was kinda bad but not the worst, don’t stress about it I’ve gotten tons of D’s.

And if it was an F he’s like oh okay yeah it was pretty bad like I get it. But this would just make things worse and ur like ur right I did so baaad and he’s like nonono oh no it’s not like that and he like stiffens and goes quiet when u get misty eyed I guess and wonders once again why this is so serious to you?? Who cares about grades?

He probably gets mad ur letting other ppl control ur life. We’ve seen that he hates other ppl living their lives for others or by others rules and he’s kinda frustrated at you and wishes he could just take over u for a day or something and tell ur parents off and ur talking about it and he’s narrowing his eyes at you but ur clearly upset so he’s not gonna yell at u rn. When u feel better ab this he probably will tell you to stop living by others standards but for now he’s kinda lost

He tries to convince u to rise up against ur parents and is like “are u gonna keep letting people in ur life control u?!” And it’s like a motivational pep talk and ur like “no!” And he’s like “are you gonna let THEM yell at you and hurt YOUR feelings?! Cause I sure as hell am not!” And ur getting more energetic and r like “me neither!” And he’s like “are you gonna let ur own PARENTS talk to YOU like that?!” And u go “no!!” Nd he’s like “we r sick of it!!” And u go “ya we r 😭” and then he thinks ur on board so he’s like good!! Let’s go beat ur parents

And ur like “what” and he realizes u weren’t on the same page the entire time so he eventually bedgrudginly will lie that idea go

And he tells you this, like he says it won’t matter in seven years, right?? So why does it matter? Pls cheer up and be doesnt outright say this but he’s like “don’t worry ur pretty little head about it” or something to cheer u up

If it works and he successfully consoles u he is rlly happy and doesn’t show it but he’ll shove his hands in his pockets and go “see?? I told you. I’m good at this advice thing.”

If it doesn’t, he’ll try to take ur mind off it and he probably just shows u his spinning back kick or something LMAO or take u to the dojo so u can either do stuff w him or just watch

But if u tell him what ur upset about isn’t grades but ur parents, he’ll listen to u tell him what they told u if it was mean or strict and if it’s rlly bad his eyes will go bloodshot and he’ll roll up his sleeves and be like okay let me at them then

Literally don’t even JOKE ab him beating up ur parents he will do it 😭😭 and worse thing is he’ll WIN. Don’t even be like “yeah I wish u would beat them up for me” bc he doesn’t draw the line between u joking and him actually doing it probably. Even if he knows ur joking, which he will bc he’s not dense he’ll use it against u and be like u have me permission and suddenly ur the instigator

He listens to u rant about them if u just want a listener and he can probably tell by ur body language… like If ur clearly wanting advice, he’ll offer u the best he can and will tell you to stick up for yourself or, if you’re really upset he’ll even consider talking to them for u. No fists to his chagrin but he’ll advocate for u and he won’t plan beforehand at all he’ll just say “I think u need 2 be nicer to ur child.” And will be like “this shit doesn’t even matter anyways” and will rip the test paper in front of them so this option is obviously not even a choice for you

If u start to cry he’ll first awkwardly do that thing that people do when they don’t know how to console someone and rub your arm and he’s like “Uhh, do u want water?” Bc he’s sad bc UR sad and doesn’t know what to do and it’s like what he’s doing isn’t that helpful but the tone in his voice is v consoling and comforting bc he’s suddenly kinda quiet 4 once

If ur sobbing he’ll hold u and u cry into his shirt and later he’ll talk about how you got it all wet but like when he goes home in the mirror and sees the tear stains it reminds him ur hurt and breaks his heart

He will study with you. And by studying it’s just him like sitting with you while you study. He doesn’t think you should study but if that’s how you want to solve this and feel better he’s down. He won’t read anything but if u have flash cards he will read them back to you and ask u questions and he doesn’t know the right answer himself (unless it’s math he’s probably rlly rlly good at math.) so u have to write them on the back. But he’s pretty good at helping u study

And if ur doing flash cards, he won’t tell u the answer until u guess it and he’s good at hinting to it and he gets annoyed VERY easily when ur not saying the answer u wrote on the back but bites it down

If ur parents make u stay home more and study as like a consequence of gettig a bad grade, he won’t have any of it

He will either confront ur parents and that either makes things somewhat better or incredibly worse

So if that’s what happens he’ll text u a lot and face time u in secret and call u a lot so even tho ur not together, every time u come home from school and open a book ur phone is hidden in the bend of it and ur fting and sometimes u don’t even talk he’s just FaceTiming u so u won’t b alone while u study and bc he misses u

Overall, he really couldn’t give a shit about grades but if need be, he’ll help u with urs, he’d be the best math tutor if ur looking, if ur parents lock u up a lot to study more bc they’re mad he will use any other option to see u, and he’ll try his best to console u despite not being that knowledgeable or understanding why you’re upset. His go to comfort option is distraction, but if it’s futile he’ll do whatever it is u wanna do. If u thank him for helping u he’ll kick something and will b like “yeah whatever I was just sick of u moping around.”

JIYEON WOO

He understands what’s going on with you all too well. When you tell him ur parents scolded u bc u didn’t do so hot in a test or ur overall grades this semester, it’s like his heart is a weight that drops into his stomach and ties his intestine into a huge knot. Like he feels the dread set in

He’s takes a muuuuchhhh more calm approach than Taehoon tbh, like while ur talking he won’t say a word and will listen. He is SUCHHH a good listener and especially now he’s just staring at you and nodding his head to let you know he’s listening to make sure u know that like he is there and present and if ur sad he’s sad too like u guys r a “team”

While ur venting, if u begin to cry he’ll let u and he’s more of a “rub-ur-back-soothingly” type of consoler so he’ll do that and if u half hug him he’ll continue do it but he’s looking at u w the saddest eyes in the world ☹️

Doesn’t rlly know what to do at first besides listen and b nice

He might even get misty eyed with u too bc he understands so much. But he won’t bring up his home situation at ALL, it’s like ur stage and he’s just a listener, he won’t make u feel like he’s comparing ur pain

His fist clenched at his side because he’s angry at your parents AND his and he’s imagining what ur parents said in his mind and even if it wasn’t that bad, he’s fuming

He might even offer to run away w u too and he “knows a place” 😭and ur like omg it’s not that bad but after reminiscing on his own home life he just assumes you’re as sick of it as him

If you’re his s/o, you obviously know about his YouTube streams, so that week at the end of every stream he’ll take a risk and unmute it and go “and don’t worry about grades too much, guys :)” and ur “guys”

Either that or he’ll do something so he will stop streaming completely for that week bc it might make u feel like he’s rubbing it in ur face how much he studies nd how studious he is and yes it gets him in trouble w his dad but when u start to feel better ab ur grades and u smile and he’s like “I thought u were upset?” And u say “oh, yeah… I’m feeling better now :)” it’s all worth it

Since he’s so consumed w streaming if u weren’t able to ever meet in person, and u had to FaceTime or text him, he probably spams u and u guys have to text at like 3am bc he’s studying all other hours of the day so he’s under his covers and reading or calling u

Like it goes

‘My parents got mad at me bc I got bad grades :(((‘ and then he sees the text he reads it and then again and is like oh no bc is it like his situation???

And then u go get a snack or something and go MIA during texting but he doesn’t know that so he spams u bc he thinks that maybe ur parents took ur phone and r locking u up like his did him so he’s like

‘Are you okay?’

‘Hello…?’

‘Where did you go? :(‘

‘Are you okay?’

‘Please be okay…’

‘(Y/n)?’

And if he suspects ur parents took ur phone and r gonna read this he sends things a very lengthy and persuasive text that explains why this is cruel and unusual and to PLS give u ur phone back and then it says seen and ur like it’s still me :)) I’m okay but thx for worrying 😭❤️

And he’s like ‘thank god…’

Since he’s a part of that newtube company (XY or something? I forgot HAHA), he has connections honestly??? So if you’re that torn over this grade he might try and pull some strings to improve your grade, make classes easier or to reach your parents even. Like he affects his parents’ boss which then butterfly effects to you

Assures you that grades aren’t that important, or tries to, but it’s so horrible coming from him because he has such good grades and it always is gonna feel like he’s just saying that no matter what

If he could he’d fail a test too to make u feel better and like ur in it together but his dad would MURDER him. So he just tries to tell u it’s okay and graders aren’t that bad

If ur mostly upset over the bad grade, he’s like it’s fine, and even if it’s a grade he genuinely considers bad he’ll look at it like “...” before going this is fine too!! :) and in his mind he’s like if I got this my dad would kill me but would NOT tell you that EVERRR. He’s gonna do anything to preserve ur feeling rn and the next few weeks he’s especially nice to u

Will study with you to make you feel better but it’s hard because he’s really far ahead tbh :(( like he explains assuming u already have some ground knowledge. BUT he’s really good at being patient so if ur like I don’t understand and get frustrated he’s like “oh I’m sorry!!! Here, I’ll go over it again.”

U guys start spending time at the library and when his dad questions him he’s like I’m studying and he really is and it’s like a study date and it actually ends up being RLLY fun

Might even print u worksheets and stuff and leaves nice notes on them when he gives them to u like every chapter has another ‘u can do it’ of ‘ur already here?! Omg! Ur far ahead keep going!’ And lots of smiley faces and hearts in the margins

He is not above helping u cheat. He will give u answers in school, risking being caught nd getting in trouble, like he’ll find a way to sit as close to u as possible in class and “drop” his pen besides u that just happens to have a paper inside with all of the answers!!!!

And when you see it you’re so happy and you look at him and wink trying it be inconspicuous and it’s so obvious and he’s like omg (y/n) pls… but he’s happy ur happy and ur grades improve so much bc he gets every answer right and so of course you are getting them right too

But u both plan on u getting a few wrong to avoid suspicion and he’s so happy when ur happy bc ur grades improve so he’ll start sending u the HW, too

Will send u just study notes if u don’t want to cheat and they r so good and he’ll also send u his flash cards and everything and lend u notes from the past

He knows ur YouTube username so if u start to study a lot more bc of ur parents’ scolding and watch his streams to “study” w him despite the million viewers it’s like it’s just u nd him and when u comment like “here bc my parents yelled @ me and now im trying to improve my grades” he is simultaneously v happy ur there but also heart broken

If it’s mainly ur parents scolding u ur upset about, he’ll listen to u talk about it for hours on end over text, FaceTime, call, etc.

Makes a joke ab sending ur parents to the nursing home he volunteers at to cheer u up 😭😭 it either makes u son harder or laugh

Overall, he cares LOTS about grades, but his not urs. And if ur worried ab getting a job he’s like dw I’ll cover u in the future :)) and he’s very understanding bc he’s in a very similar situation and hates seeing u suffer like that or go thru that even if it’s genuinely not that bad. If u cry his works just SHATTERS and he’ll listen to u rant and cry for hours on end. And if ur grades were actually considerably bad, he won’t tell u that, and he’ll help u improve them bc THATS his solution to it and he’s good at helping u study. If ur not up to it he will help u cheat despite the danger of getting caught, so he can see u happy again :(( he’s rlly so sad ur going thru the same thing as him and will do anything to make it better. Won’t offer to fight ur parents but if need be he might rough one of them up if things escalate to really like mentally abusive-like proportions. But if it wasn’t that bad, he’ll just console u and help u to feel better no matter what !!

(Unedited)

I hope this came out well!! I’m so happy I’m getting how to fight requests tysm for that, <3 also it ended up kinda long and I lost my train of thought a few times but this felt like an emergency request and when I read those I like when they’re rlly long bc it distracts and comforts me. If it was one I hope ur okay and know u r more than ur grades!!!! ❤️❤️ ty for ur request :))

[writerman]

Can... can I formally request this with Aro and Garrett pls thanks yes. muse a is muse b’s nanny and has been taking care of their children.

Oh Anon, I am sorry you had to wait for this one aha.

I toyed with the idea of making this a full multi chapter fic then I realised I already have too many stories waiting in the wings for me to finish.

Anways, enjoy!

----

He was in no way qualified for this. 

Never had been qualified and never would be. 

But he couldn’t deny he had been desperate for a job since he had been dishonourably discharged from the army. 

Carlisle had gotten him an interview as a favour and he’d only gotten the job because he’d flirted like Hell with the family’s assistant who had been asking the questions. They’d ended up banging over the desk, not his proudest moment, but it had sealed the deal and it had been a while since someone had seemed interested in him. 

Regardless of his actions in the interview, Garrett still considered himself a good person and an all-round decent guy… if he blocked out the reason for the dishonourable discharge. Though, if he was being truthful he saw no issue in his conduct that led him to be discharged. Everyone had their own ideas of what right and wrong were his just seemed to align with being an enemy of the state even if he hadn’t hurt anyone.

Getting a job had been hard, what with background checks and Garrett being so wildly honest when people outright asked him why he had left the army. It left him with very few choices and he didn’t think he could honestly hack flipping burgers somewhere.

Not that it wasn’t a decent job he just knew it wasn’t really for him. 

However, being a nanny wasn’t exactly something he was cut out to be. His experience with kids was slim, he didn’t hang out with anyone who had kids young enough to need a nanny. Though, Carlisle’s kids needed a cowpoke to wrangle them in sometimes. 

There were, of course, strict instructions on how Garrett must dress and behave around the parents of the child he was nannying for. He had a dress code too, thankfully, Carlisle was good enough to loan him money for some nicer clothes and good enough to loan Alice out to help him find the nicer clothes in the right stores. 

By the end of the trip, Garrett was exhausted but he cut a fine and nonthreatening figure in the threads Alice has sourced for him. Even if he did feel like he had exchanged his entire personality for clothes that looked like they belonged to Carlisle. 

Either way, he was thankful and he drove Alice home so he could catch up with Carlisle and get his approval on the clothes.

His first day working for the Volturi household was uneventful. He briefly met Caius the kid he was nannying but the first day was more about learning the layout of the house and working out schedules. 

He was following a different assistant down the hallway when he finally decided to ask them about the family. 

“So, honestly, what are the family like?” He didn’t expect an answer which was fine and at this point, it was more to make conversation than anything else. This assistant seemed to be for the whole house, whereas the one Garrett had… been intimate with may have only worked for the parents of the child. 

It would make sense. 

The assistant, her name was Bianca, shrugged as she led him to what looked like a home office but the equipment looked like it cost more than his entire life. She moved across the room and took a seat at the desk and set down the files she had been holding.

“They’re fine, it is just Caius’ father and uncle that live here with the boy. Marcus, your employer’s brother in law will be around often, he isn’t fond of leaving the house much but he keeps himself to himself. 

Mr Volturi, Aro, he is a busy man and does not like to be interrupted when working. Incredibly private but a good father to Caius. It is likely you may not see him much as he will already have left for work by the time you arrive in the morning.” Garrett could tell that Bianca wanted to say more he could feel that she was desperate to drop the formalities.

Idly he wondered if she withheld because there were cameras in the office. He restrained himself from looking around to prove himself correct. 

“Cool, so when do I properly get to meet the kid?” He asks wandering over to the large window that looked out over a perfectly manicured lawn bordered by pretty purple flowers. It was simple but nice and he could tell that the family didn’t spend a lot of time out there. 

The road he had driven in on to the house was completely obscured by large trees. Bianca wasn’t kidding when she said his new boss liked his privacy, but the trees were a talking point with the kid he knew that much. 

“Tomorrow morning, I expect,” Bianca gestured for Garrett to take a seat, once he was comfortable she gently rested her hands, fingers laced loosely together, on the desk and gave Garrett a long and searching look. “You’ve never taken care of a child in your life, have you, Mr Denali?” Upon hearing himself being addressed like that, Garrett had to force himself to stop his lip from curling into a sneer. It was a force of habit after years of being mocked for taking his ex-wife’s surname. 

While he had no qualms about taking her name, it was a nice one, others seemed to think it was an indication that his manhood was not what it should be. But, fuck that, Kate was a wonderful woman and he was still proud to have her name. 

They had grown apart and separated, technically, they were still married but Garrett hadn’t seen Kate for 2 years and she was seeing someone else now. He knew that when the time came she would seek him out for divorce if she needed it but for now, it was fine and they merely lived as strangers only occasionally contacting one another for specific dates and information.  

“No, but you knew that the second you saw me. Did the other assistant tell you how I got the job?” He wasn’t beating around the bush for this, if she was going to tell his boss and have him fired she had better do it now so he could head out and look for another job elsewhere. 

Bianca flipped through her notes and shook her head but she smirked and said nothing for a while. 

“Why don’t I show you around some more before we do the rest of the paperwork. You’ll need to see the kitchen and Caius’ room. There is a small study room for Caius too but getting in there will be your hardest task.” They exited the room and Bianca grabbed Garrett’s arm and dragged him down a hallway and through some patio doors to a yard at the other side of the house. 

It looked like some kind of staff entrance and he gathered it was when Bianca lit up a cigarette and sighed contentedly. With no one around but the two of them, she relaxed and Garrett considered that perhaps there were cameras posted around the house. 

“You banged Aro’s personal assistant after Carlisle recommended you for the job. You are far too cocky to be working here and I can see you getting into a lot of trouble with the boss, but,” Bianca stopped as she took another long drag of her cigarette less for dramatic effect and more because they couldn’t just stand in the yard all day gossiping. “I think it will work in your favour. While Caius will love you, Aro will want to kill you on sight but he won’t. Not if his precious child makes you his favourite.” She grinned as she let her words sink in and watching Garrett for a reaction. 

“You really think that’s how it’ll go down?” The query was met with a laugh and a nod. 

“Oh yeah, seeing him stuck in the middle is going to be so much fun.” 

She refused to reveal much more after that and instead she finished the tour of the house and finished up any paperwork Garrett needed to fill out before he left for the day. 

Bianca had been right about one thing, Caius loved him. They spent so much time outside while Garrett told him the names of plants and animals. They studied the life cycle of frogs and he explained how and why it rained. 

When it came to math and English Lit Garrett struggled somewhat, he wasn’t qualified to teach the kid, and thankfully he wasn’t asked to but when Caius had homework he had to help. Math was easy, it was simple addition and subtraction and the books he was asked to read had large letters and illustrations but teaching it to him in a way he’d understand just wasn’t in his skill set.

It was only those moments he wondered if this job wouldn’t be better for a teacher looking for something outside of a classroom? 

His first encounter with Aro was nothing to write home about. Caius ran into the house after Garrett had picked him up from school and tossed his coat to the floor. Garrett shook his head and called Caius back to pick it up and hang it up properly. 

When Caius refused Garrett gently asked again, and the boy refused. A shadow fell over the boy as Aro appeared at the door of the kitchen holding a mug of tea. He looked down at his son with little to no expression and Caius without another word shuffled toward his coat and picked it up. 

He didn’t stick around and was gone in almost a second, though his gaze did fall to Garrett for a moment and they shared a quick nod. 

Up in the study room, Caius seemed unaffected by the encounter and was chattering happily about Legos as he upended a bin of the brightly coloured bricks onto the floor. 

“Hey, hey, we can’t play with this until you’ve done your homework, and your dad is here to have dinner with you today so, let’s put this back. After this, you need to wash your hands, ok?” Caius grumbled for a few moments but put the Legos back into the bin before running off to wash his hands. 

He heard the familiar click of heels and Bianca appeared at the door with a smile as she beckoned him to her. 

“Mr Volturi wants an update on how things are with Caius.” 

“Right now?” 

“Uh-huh, get your butt down to his office, I will entertain the kiddo while you’re busy.” She gestured for Garrett to get moving as she stepped into the study room taking a seat at Caius’ desk. 

Doing as he was told Garrett strode down the hall taking the stairs down to the ground floor where Aro’s home office was situated. He had to admit he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be taking notes on Caius, after all, it was just a glorified babysitting job… 

But, if he was being honest, and he was being totally honest, the kid had calmed down a lot since Garrett had started taking care of him. Getting him outside running around and learning about plants and animals seemed to interest him greatly and his concentration at school had improved a lot because he wasn’t cooped up inside at home all the time. 

When Garrett reached the door to Aro’s office it was already open and Aro was squinting sat his computer screen looking decidedly unimpressed at whatever was on said screen but his attention was soon taken up by Garrett and he waved him into the office. 

“Take a seat, Mr Denali.” Aro didn’t much sound like how Garrett had expected, his voice was softer than he had imagined and the accent definitely wasn’t that of someone from the US.

Not that it mattered. 

He did, however, wince at being addressed so formally and Aro arched a brow at the expression but did not question him on it. Instead, he sat back in his seat and arched his fingers lightly as he surveyed Garrett with unfathomably dark eyes. 

“How have you settled in with us here, Garrett?” Ah, he had understood the wince, well, at least he was perceptive and that as more than some employers. 

But he wasn’t sure how to answer him. Everything was fine but how did he make it sound professional? 

He couldn’t, he didn’t have the background for that. 

“Well, you can probably tell me that better than I can.” For a brief moment, he wondered if he should have added sir to the end of his sentence but the honorific didn’t seem like it would fit with his boss… Garrett felt like he was being stared down by a lord or… a wolf. 

Aro merely nodded but said nothing more.

“Personally, I think I’ve settled in fine. Caius is a great kid, he’s smart and energetic. We get on well even if he has a little bit of an issue with respect for his elders and teachers at times but his teachers tell me that he’s always been that way and he will probably grow out it.” Aro seemed satisfied with this and again gave Garrett a nod to show he had heard and understood him.

“I agree, and yes, his attitude is my fault. Caius is still too young to understand the difference between home and work-life and, for me, those lines blur when I work from home. He will see how I am at work and will not understand that in business you must fight and your words must bite to be taken seriously.” Aro, for a second, looked tired as though just getting his words out was a battle and Garrett considered that there must have been something about Aro that left him at a disadvantage in business. 

Whatever it was he wasn’t going to ask or pry but he couldn’t say he wasn’t a bit curious about the man he so rarely saw but was raising a child for. 

There wasn’t much to the rest of their meeting, Garrett talked about signing Caius up to some sports to help him use his energy and Aro agreed to foot whatever the bill was and that was that. 

Garrett returned to Caius’ playroom and ensured the boy had washed his hands and done his homework before sending him downstairs to his dad.

With his job done for the day, Garrett collected Bianca from her own office she shared with the other house assistants and drove her home.

“How long do you think you’ll be able to get away with this?” It wasn’t accusatory, but Garrett could tell Bianca was worried about him and there was no getting out of this discussion, not when they were stuck in traffic.

He sighed because the same damn thought crossed his mind every day as he drove up the ridiculous drive up to the Volturi household to the job he was in no way qualified for. 

“I don’t know, Bianca. Every day I think ‘this is it, this is the day he’ll find out’ but nothing happens and I do my job and continue the cycle. At this point, I’m thinking of cutting my losses and just quitting.” He could feel Bianca watching him as he kept his eyes on the snaking traffic that had them at a dead stop trying to get into the city centre. He didn’t want to look at her and see pity in her eyes. Because there would be pity. 

“You might be fine. Carlisle is a close and personal friend of Aro’s. He has no reason not to trust him so maybe he won’t ask his assistant to look into it?” 

She had a point and in all honesty, it was the kind of comfort he needed. The words that made everything alright because they could possibly be the truth even if deep down he was still worried about being found out. 

 “I really like the job, I’ve bonded with Caius and I just feel that if I suddenly up and left all that progress we made would be for nothing.”

“You’re talking as if he was a problem child.” Bianca laughed but at the serious expression on Garrett’s face, she stopped and merely shook her head at him. “You really do love it the job, that much is obvious. I think everything will be ok.”

But it wasn’t.

It wasn’t even a month after their conversation in the car that Garrett pulled up to the Volturi household only to be directed straight to Aro’s office.

He barely knocked when Aro snapped for him to hurry up and close the door, and Garrett felt the ice in the pit of his stomach. This was it, this was the end. 

“You know what this is about, sit down, and try to explain to me why you think it is appropriate to lie on your application and then have sex with my assistant to get this job?!” Aro was seething his words were spat out with edges so sharp Garrett winced as though they had physically bitten into his skin. 

“I… I’m sorry, Aro.” There was no reason to prolong the conversation with lies or excuses. He had been caught red-handed and there was nothing he could do or say to help him keep his job. “Should I go?” Garrett made move to stand up from his seat but Aro raised a hand to halt him in his tracks.

“How many people did you kill?” Oh, he had… he had looked into his military career. How had he gotten that information? 

“Do you really want to know, and for that matter do you care? I saved my men that night and I won’t ever regret what I did.” Garrett’s voice rose in volume as he battled with the need to defend himself and remain calm enough that this discussion would not end in disaster. 

“I don’t suppose it does matter, but the fact you left the army with a dishonourable discharge concerns me greatly. You are classed as a criminal, did you serve time?” Of course, he would be concerned and Garrett understood that but he didn’t want to talk about this, he would talk about anything but this. 

“Yes, about 6 months. They pardoned me for saving the squad but I’m not allowed to go into law enforcement or go back to the army.” Garrett had no wish to do either, even if he hadn’t been discharged he would have left of his own accord after his second tour in the Middle East. 

Running a hand through his hair, Aro huffed an unhappy sigh through his nose before looking at Garrett with light disdain. 

“As much as I would love to never see you again, you’ve had a positive impact on Caius and I don’t want to upset his routine. You work well with him despite having no formal training to teach or take care of a child. 

You are allowed to continue your employment here, but I assure you that if you step out of line even once I will be glad to see the back of you.” 

It was apparent that the decision wasn’t one Aro took lightly and it seemed to go against everything he believed in. There would be push back from many people in his life he was sure. If anyone found out that Garrett had killed people against his squad leader’s orders that would put Aro’s reputation in jeopardy. 

To say he felt relief would be an understatement even with the underlying guilt he felt for Aro hiding his secret for him. Not wishing to endanger his employment further Garrett nodded at Aro’s warning as he got to his feet and he left the room quickly. He gifted Aro with a grateful smile as he left. 

Once Aro had cooled off a bit Garrett would thank him for giving him a second chance.  

“Bianca has paperwork for you to look over.” Garrett was halfway down the hall and heading towards the stairs when he heard Aro speak again, he turned to see him stood at the door of his office watching him an unreadable expression on his face.

Something in his eyes confused Garrett because if he looked close enough he was sure he could see something like fondness in the man’s eyes. 

It was ridiculous to think such a thing and he allowed his mind to brush it aside, he went to respond to Aro but the man had already returned to his office. 

Caius was still asleep, it was Saturday and the kid was allowed to sleep later seeing as all they were doing that was heading out to the park and maybe taking a boat out onto the lake, which Caius was wildly excited for. 

Instead of checking in on the kid, Garrett headed straight to the assistant office on the same floor and stepped inside to find only Bianca sat at her desk applying her make-up in a small compact. 

“Good morning, handsome. Aro has some paperwork for you to look over, it’s pretty big. You might wanna go grab a coffee and take a seat because it is some reading.” She didn’t look away from her compact and instead made a motion with her head to a stack of papers on the desk reserved for Garrett whenever he needed it.

“Urgh, that’s a lot of words for so early in the morning and I already got chewed out by Aro as soon as I stepped through the door.” Garrett rubbed his face to wake himself up, as he did he heard Bianca’s compact click shut. 

“What happened?”

“He found out.”

“No?! And… you’re still here?”

“Apparently. I think he likes me.” Garrett quipped sarcastically as he crossed the room to the coffee machine. Black coffee, and lots of it. 

“You joke but I think he really does. Whenever he talks about you he always looks pleased.” Well, that was news to him but it was better than the alternative and if he was honest, Aro hadn’t ever reprimanded him or had an issue with the way he took care of his kid. 

So, he was doing something right it seemed. 

“Well, alright then.” Garrett sat at his desk, the stack of papers looked ominous at 7:30 am and while he was loath to start reading he knew he needed to review the information before Caius woke up. 

Three pages in he stopped and had to set the papers down. Garrett stared at the back of Bianca for a long time, he knew she was aware of him staring, she had been sat quietly staring at her computer screen for 20 minutes clearly awaiting a reaction from him. 

“This is a contract for me to be a live-in nanny here at the house. Did you already know about this?” 

Bianca swung her chair around to face him and he was greeted with a grin from her. 

“Might’ve.” 

“Should I accept this?” 

“It’s a good deal, double the pay, and it’s permanent to a degree anyway.” 

He looked down at the paperwork again and scratched his chin as though trying to stimulate thought into a decision. It didn’t seem too bad and it meant that Aro was definitely not as angry at him as he came across in their meeting. 

This had to have something to do with Carlisle, he was sure of it and he’d found out later when he gave him a call. 

Being a live-in nanny was never going to be something Garrett could honestly say he’d end up doing forever, but it was the start of his new life, a fresh start that some days he didn’t think he actually deserved. 

“So, will you stay here?”

“Yeah, I think I will. I’m here all the time already and it’s less travel time,” Simple reasons and Garrett tried to play down how much it actually meant to him to be offered something like it even after what he’d done in the past.

If Aro was able to overlook it maybe one day Garrett could fully put it behind him and not live with the regret hanging over him like a grey cloud weighing him down with the rain of the memories soaking into his skin. 

Bianca leaned over and handed him a pen. 

“Why do you think he did this?” 

“I dunno,” Her response was short but her grin from earlier returned as she spoke again, “Maybe he likes you.” 

[velvet-chae-blog]

bts annoying boyfriend things:

jin:

-will brag to everyone about how your mom loves him more than you

-asks you if you’re gonna eat something and then takes it before you even answer

-the worst backseat driver of all time but when you ask him if he would like to drive he’ll say no gshshsjshshdhd

-when going to eat, he’ll tell you to choose but he’ll have a complaint about every place you suggest

-dad jokes at the WORST possible moments like even once while you were making out?? and you’re like dear god what have i done in my past life to deserve this

-will eat your left overs out of the fridge even if you leave notes telling him NOT to

-once you went to a Halloween party together and he dressed as ‘prince peach’ and made you dress as Mario dhhdjsjsjshdjsjjs

-is absolutely not afraid to tell you that you look like something a cat through up. like pls you can’t be a lil nicer?

-will steal your good razor to shave his face

-is religious about his skin routine and will nag and nag you about yours

namjoon:

-asks you to take pictures of him and will make you retake it 637383829383 times. seriously how does jimin deal with this?

-‘borrows’ your headphones all the time and thrn BREAKS THEM hshsjsjsjsj. this is the 5th pair you’ve had to buy this month

-always wants to FaceTime or talk on the phone, but never text

-when you ask him to bring you home food it’s always the wrong thing. isn’t this boy supposed to have an amazing memory? where is it?

-on that note, he loses things constantly. ‘babe have u seen my sunglasses’ and like seriously they’re on his head

-joon’s top priority is aesthetic, always. to the point where you will go two hours out of the way to have dinner at a swanky italian place with low hanging lights even tho YOU’RE STARVING

-will answer your questions with questions or quotes, like b*tch did you just quote dr suess at me? i just want to know what kinda pizza you want

-long philosophical speeches which can be nice and endearing at times but sometimes you’re like ‘joon, it’s rly not that deep bby’ hdhsjsjsnsnsnsn

-tells you that you’re a traitor whenever you buy anything with a kkt friend that isn’t ryan

yoongi:

-sleeps in soooooo late and makes you crawl over him every morning when you have to work

-‘if this house was burning to the ground and i could only save u or min holly, i will choose min holly’ - min yoongi 2k16

-will use your laptop instead of his own bc yours is closer

-king of excuses which is handy when you want to call in sick to work, but very very annoying when you want to go do something that he doesn’t want to

-will take the remote right out of your hand and change it to what he wants and when you’re giving him a death glare he’s like ?????? tf you want?

-uses all of your bath bombs without asking shshjs i don’t think he understands how expensive those are????

-insulting kumam*n is a sin worthy of death

-would probably fake his own death if that meant he could avoid a social outing 

-is the worst to play any games with bc he always cheats and calls it ‘being resourceful’ 

hoseok:

-always leaves the toilet seat up and like laughs so hard he cries when you fall in

-wants to be the little spoon and never the big spoon

-he tried to teach you the choreo to dope one time and you twisted your ankle and he rly will never let you live that down

-snores so so so so SO loud, but will wake up in the am and say he couldn’t sleep bc you were snoring

-you cannot go to the bar alone with him bc he is the worst drunk person you’ve ever met zbsnsjsnsnsnsn he goes completely dead weight and sings kid songs and cries about how beautiful the moon is

-constantly singing girl group songs. like red velvet is gr8 but one can only listen ‘rookie rookie my super rookie rookie’ so many times without wanting to scream

-randomly pantses you around the house and will say ‘i got you’ like it’s a prank.....how is this....a prank hobi? ur just being a perv.....pls

-never folds his laundry ever. like if it wasn’t for you, the clothing mountain in ‘spring day’ would reside in your bedroom

jimin:

-cries every time taey*ng releases a song

-always has the receipts on hand when you’re arguing. even if it’s over something super petty hdhdjdj

-complains that you take too long of showers but there’s never any fcking warm water left once he’s done with his shower

-always pulls uglie faces when your trying to take cute couple pics. why won’t he let you have any nice pictures?

-teases you about being too soft but also complains when you don’t show him enough affection. what do you WANT park jimin?

-he’s a smug lil sh*t whenever he’s right and you’ll never ever hear the end of it

-he tells your mom everything i s2g they’re worse than the old ladies gossiping at the farmer’s market

-imitates you in the highest pitch most awful voice ever hshsjsjsjsjsnsns

-probably yells at you when you break a streak on snapchat

-steals the blankets at night, leaving you to freeze and d*e

taehyung:

-sends texts in all emojis all the time and will expect you to decode them perfectly. like how are you suppose to know what  🤐 👩‍🍳 🤳 👏🏻 ✨ 🚓 💔 means?

-smart about weird things like he can tell you every star that exists in the milky-way but don’t ask him help you build any IKEA furniture

-will probably wake you up at ungodly hours to ask you why dogs walk in circles before they lay down

-his shoes actually smell sooooooooo bad bc he never wears socks

-super loud playing video games. like it’s literally 3 am and he’s having a debate with a 12 yr old about overwatch vs. titanfall and you have an exam at 7am. can he pls for the love of god just not?

-uses your tooth brush so now you have to hide it from him when he stays over

-probably asks for nudes like 80 times a week. does he not understand that there are only so many creative ways you can take sexcie pics?

-you absolutely cannot take him grocery shopping bc you either will loose him or you will wind up with $50 worth of cereal in your cart and nothing else

-made you a playlist once that was just gucci gang on repeat

jeongguk:

-drinks milk straight from the carton

-weird af compliments. like bitting your face and telling you that you’re a snacc. 

-is actually a decent cook BUT DESTROYS THE FCKING KITCHEN

-seriously. all the cabinets are open, the fridge is open, there is trash on the counters, there’s siracha on the ceiling? he only made boxed ramen. how did this even happen?

-constantly reminds you that you’re short and will use you as an arm rest

-has your contact id as a kermit meme

-always making you hold his things in your purse. like why can’t he just use his pockets? hshsjsjsjs

-will probably call you dude and babe in the same sentence

-makes literally everything a competition.....everything

-he’s so lazy that he’ll make things more difficult then the were. like he will carry 20 bags of groceries in and almost cut off the circulation to his fingers bc he doesn’t want to make 2 trips

-uses all of your shampoo and body wash all the fckin time. you’ve even gone out and bought stuff for him BUT HE STILL USES YOURS

[garlique]

all the things i would tell my mom if i went back to my ten year old self with what i know now

under a cut because it got really really long i guess i have a lot to say to her lol

1. hi mom i know i look like yr ten year old but im actually yr 19 year old. im gonna tell u some things i need from u and i need u to write these down and remember them

2. im fucking transgender, i found this out for myself at like 14 or 15. im going to change my name twice; both of my h names are deadnames. my gender is also a lot more complex than i’ll realize it is but with you and dad, i will settle on the name miles and he/him pronouns. please please actually take me to get new clothes when i come out i might tell you i don’t need it but i really really want it. also you and dad for years have nasty habit of calling me the wrong name and pronouns when you get mad at me. i don’t know if it’s because you genuinely want to hurt me by doing it or if it’s just that you still think of me as a girl named ****** and can’t hide it when you’re emotional but jesus christ does it fuck me up. dont do that shit. also pls dont leave me to transition on my own. im a child with a lot of issues and because you help me so little with my transition i’ve been yet unable to get top surgery. im incapable because

3. i am really fucked in the head and idk how much of it is nature vs nurture. i have adhd, am autistic, have *, believe i’ve been depressed my entire life, and have been having panic attacks since i was around 6. i also have cptsd; i dont know if telling you this will make that better, because im already really traumatized. but my first memory in my entire life was sitting on the closed toilet late at night while you brushed your teeth, sobbing because i was having a panic attack and you brushed me off and sent me back to bed where i continued to have a panic attack until i wore myself out enough that i couldnt physically keep my eyes open. which brings me to my next point

4. i need MORE from you. as a 19 year old before this i have SO many issues with trusting people and getting help. i have a form of ptsd which i believe is partly due to what i consider your emotional neglect. i dont know what you can do to make it better because if i did i probably would have asked for it in this timeline. but it really is not my responsibility to make sure YOU can parent me effectively. how are you so unaware of my emotional needs?

5. YOU need to receive mental help. by the time i’m like 15 or 16 you seem from my perspective to hate your life and you LOVE to unload it onto me. i remember telling you SO MANY TIMES that you should see a therapist (i started therapy freshman year) and every single time i suggested it you will say “no i dont need therapy” . which is because you used ME as your therapist. please dont fucking do that to me. you can tell me about your life and your day to day but holy shit the amount of breakdowns i had because of what you told me? please for the love of god you have so much fucking trauma please please please get help this is how generational cycles begin and is the main reason i decided at like 17 to never have kids.

6. in either 5th or 6th grade im going to get lyme disease and im not going to tell you because you told me when i was very young that you hated taking me to the doctors and so im not going to tell you for months that i can’t use one of my arms or that i can’t put weight on one of my legs. if i remember right it first showed up in my right shoulder abt 3 months after YOU injure your shoulder and so when i first tell you my shoulder hurts you tell me that it doesn’t and that i’m just mimicking you. please just take me to the doctor in like february instead of june. im basically fucking crippled as a 19 year old and i think it is in large part because of the lyme disease

7. please for the love of god please please fucking take me to the dentist regularly

8. in 9th grade early/mid december im going to confess to a friend that i am feeling suicidal and she and basically everyone else in my life who finds out is going to handle it terribly. im going to attempt suicide again in the spring of my sophomore year and it’s going to be awful for everybody again. after that attempt you don’t let me shower by myself for three months. i know it’s because you’re scared to lose me but i’m going to tell you a little secret: im terrified of dying. i dont Actually want to die. i just have so little control of my brain that dying or sleeping for a long long time is the only way i can see to get my shit under control. in 8th grade i make friends who are terrible for me and spend my nights talking them out of suicide. here is where i learn how to keep people alive lol. i dont know what you can do to help me that won’t make me hate or resent you but i’m telling you now so that maybe if you have the time you can prepare.

9. abt my mental health: pls take me to get autism/adhd tests n diagnoses. my * diagnosis will b impossible to get before i turn 18 and i am going to try to keep it from u . i promise u tho raising an autistic kid is not as hard as it seems and by now im so fucking traumatized that i’ve already learned to internalize everything

10. when im in high school i forget what year you severely injure yourself and spend a really long time in the hospital and rehab. this is what i feel most guilty about in my entire life: that the time you were gone was literally the easiest few months of my life. right abt two weeks before you do that is when i decide that you weren’t a good parent to me and that i am no longer safe around u; maybe if we can deal with some shit now we can have a better experience. btw i feel like it would b cruel if i didnt tell you so here r the brief details of yr injury **

11. by the time im in college i have constant panic attacks and dissociate heavily for the weeks before i have to leave college to come home. you need to take me seriously, i don’t know what else i can say to make this believable. i’m already real fucked up; you need to change the future for me or it WILL affect me for the rest of my life. i latch on to every woman who’s older than me who’s nicer to me; i think that’s the definition of mommy issues

12. i came back to tell you this because i really do believe you can change. if i thought there was no hope i wouldn’t have bothered telling you this. i think you can change because you DO love me (speaking of which telling me i love you but i don’t like you is? kinda fucked up? maybe don’t say that to a child ever again although i think by now you’ve stopped saying it because that will set me up with some fucked up ideas of love until i really begin to be loved by other people) and i think you want the best for me and i think you would want to change so that i could have a better life. i love you and i believe in you

[serpcntines-blog]

ok hi i’m bree n this is jus a quick n brief intro to bex and tuck while i make my about pages (bc they take like 30 yrs each) so either hmu or like this if you wanna plot !!!

tusca ‘TUCK’ kerrisk is 22 years old, he’s bisexual, a cismale, and a fairly popular alternative music artist (think the neighbourhood) who moved to glasgow from london five years ago

TW: ABUSE, TW: DRUG USE

tuck’s family was never perfect - father was one of those rich old guys who always seem to be going to business meetings, but you never really know what they do / or maybe tusca was just never interested in it. mother was softer, she loved the son that her husband hated so viciously. because henry DID hate him viciously, he hated him with cold words and belts that left scars.

sister tobah is every bit the overachiever, valedictorian and oxford superstar, she’s in politics now, and she’s the only reason tuck still ever lays eyes on his father

he’s the opposite to her, attended eton college because of his family name and that name was the only thing keeping him there. smart but unmotivated, he put his intuitive mind towards being the it boy - the only thing he put effort into at that school was his music endeavors, and he cleaned up at every talent show he entered.

his mother died in 2012 when tusca was 17, two weeks before graduation - unable to live in that house without her, he took off with his trust fund, bailed on his exams, and moved to glasgow, crashing with his childhood best friend before he purchased a property of his own

the years of abuse he suffered through hardened him, platinum armor hiding a rotten core ; he’s your obligatory jackass lothario, he’s confident and charismatic, he throws lavish parties so he doesn’t have to be alone at night, he buys extravagant gifts for people he hardly knows because he has nothing worthwhile to spend millions on

when a wrench gets thrown in the organised chaos around him, tuck is prone to periods of binge drinking that are more than your usual bender - a habit that he’s had on/off since fifteen.

connections wanted:

CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND: would need to be someone who has lived in glasgow longer than five years, basically just someone tuck has known and loved since he was young, one of the only people who knows pretty much everything about him. tuck stayed with them for six months before he bought his own property in the city

EX GIRLFRIEND: tuck is currently dating vee but he had one other proper relationship since moving to glasgow - i’m open to pretty much anything here, but their relationship ended badly (details ab that can b sussed out l8r)

PARTNER IN CRIME: the person who’s always present whenever tuck is doin something dumb, they party together, they encourage each others’ stupid ideas, they got each others backs though, etc.

BROTHER: tuck’s younger brother who he had always been close with, would be 1-2 years younger than tuck. tusca left his brother behind when he skipped town, and barely stays long enough at family events to say hello, let alone catch up properly, he feels bad about it, and their sibling relationship is strained compared to how close they used to be.

beckett ‘BEX’ mccullum is a 21 year old pansexual cisfemale who was born n bred in glasgow, she’s just finished her undergraduate study and is beginning her masters in criminology and is currently about 45% of the way through writing her own book about the toxic and violent underground of scotland

bex is an outcast -- her parents were always flaky (never showed up to parent-teacher interviews, never picked her up from school on time etc), and days after her 13th birthday, olive and ricky mccullum decided bex and her 16 year old brother would be too much hard work, so they packed their things and disappeared while the kids were at school, leaving a unsatisfying note that just read “look after yourselves - ma + da”

her brother got a part-time job on top of school to help pay their newfound bills, bex tried as well, but eventually he got fired and she got tired of being rejected, so they turned to unconventional methods -- thievery, mainly. be it by playing to the affections of their nicer neighbours, or by subtly undermining their nastier ones, or by using bex’s insanely nosy personality to blackmail the sinners, they managed to survive until brother graduated and could get a full time job.

bex was always weird, she was always into weird things - like conspiracy theories and aliens and serial killers and dead things. so studying criminals seemed perfect for her, and it was. she’s more than a little rough around the edges, and she’s aggressively defensive about almost everything, but she’s dedicated as all hell to her study and her book.

she chain smokes malboro reds and is a little too fearless, once dating a gang member purely to get information for an essay during her first year of study--- he wasn’t very happy when he found that out and she had to do a runner to get out of the hotseat.

wanted connections:

OLDER BROTHER: bex and her brother are all each other has, they’ve lived alone for eight years, and even though they’re both adults now they can’t seem to bring themselves to separate. bex would kill for him and vice versa, idrk have any particulars about his personality apart from that so 

COUSIN: bex’s mother was the black sheep of the family, and the rest of the family didn’t want the mccullums around much, they really only did it for appearances. when olive left town, bex and her brother were coldly uninvited from family events, and bex’s anger at yet another abandonment fell mainly onto her cousin, who she sees to have so much better a life than she, they were born into the caring, wealthy side of the family, while bex has been stealing coupons from mailboxes for the last four years. 

BEST FRIEND: someone who never judged bex for her interests or her unstable personality, someone who bex would protect til her dying day, a second sibling almost. 

idk the wanted connections r just ideas i’d be open to anything so pls hmu!

[timaltman]

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose however many people you want to tag!

tagged by: @hsinlvegas who has gotten me addicted to pinterest aesthetic boards and i’m mad at her for it but she’s still p rad. 

tagging: whoever wants to do it lmao idk it’s 2:30am here idek whats up or down rn i should probably be asleep but also like.... no.

LAST… [1] drink: water (i’m so exciting /sarcasm) [2] phone call: my mom called me while she was driving home from work  [3] text message: “oh my god no. not the kidz bop. pls no” - to my sister [4] song you listened to: reaching by audiomachine (which is so good pls go listen to it) [5] time you cried: last night thinking about steve irwin and how i owe him my entire life and career bc in 2 weeks i’m starting my first official zookeeping job and he was a huge inspiration for me as a kid 

-REST UNDER THE CUT-

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: no [7] been cheated on: no [8] kissed someone and regretted it: no [9] lost someone special: yes [10] been depressed: ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) all the fuckin time my dudes [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: no but i’ve gotten so anxious i’ve thrown up??

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] teal [13] pale yellow [14] silver

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes! [16] fallen out of love: no [17] laughed until you cried: yes [18] found out someone was talking about you: yeah i mean i’m sure there are like three people who bitch about me all the time lmao [19] met someone who changed you: yes~ (in a good way)  [20] found out who your true friends are: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ -bitter fucking laughter-  [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: ye - my wonderful girlfriend~

GENERAL… [22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: i mean, i’ve met a lot of them after becoming friends on tumblr, but then i have some old high school friends and some internship friends on here, too.... so like 10 or so? probably a few more than that. [23] do you have any pets: my asshole cat, robin: the cat wonder, lives with me in my apartment. at home i have a beagle/terrier mutt named copper and a gray tabby named dusty. i’m hoping to maybe get a ball python this summer but i’m not sure yet! [24] do you want to change your name: yeah, i’ve considered it b/c trans but i’m not entirely sure what i want yet.... [25] what did you do for your last birthday: wielded a chainsaw, ate shitty walmart cake and watched step brothers with some classmates in a remote cabin in southern illinois? not my first choice but not terrible, all things considered. didn’t lose any limbs that day so i can’t complain. [26] what time did you wake up: robin woke me up at like, 5:30am to get fed, but then i went back to sleep again until 7:30, text billy to have a good day at work, and then i went back to sleep again until 9:45 b/c i didn’t have my 9am class today hell yeah [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: uh, pinterest-ing for my character aesthetic boards.... >_> [28] name something you cannot wait for: graduating college and being the fuck done with schoooooool. also mother fuckin wonDER WOMAN. [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: april 23rd [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: how far away all the ppl i care about are :(((( [31] what are you listening to right now: more audiomachine but i was watching friends in the background earlier [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ye my old neighbor was named tom he was real nice [33] something that is getting on your nerves: not in the angry way but in the anxious way- i have to give a presentation on my research project to the college board in like... 6 hours. [35] elementary: yes? [36] high school: done [37] college: sO CLOSE TO DONE I LITERALLY HAVE TWO CLASSES LEFT [38] hair color: brown.... it used to have a white patch and be fun, but i dyed it for superboy and now i’m battling with myself debating if i should dye it back bc “””professional””” for jobs but that’s so boring i want to look like shiro again :((( [39] long or short hair: short god please short, regardless of what gender i present, short is so much nicer since my hair is so thiiiiick [40] do you have a crush on someone: ye my a m a z i n g girlfriend uwu  [41] what do you like about yourself?: noncommittal shrug emoji? i like my eye color i think that’s pretty radical since it’s like a gray-teal color. i guess i’m a pretty good resource for random ass animal facts too [42] piercings: mmmm i mean, i don’t care for them or about them that much? [43] blood type: literally no idea which is probably bad [44] nickname: sunshine, sam, sammy, teddy, timmy, timtam, dad [45] relationship status: -heart eyes emojis @ billy- [46] zodiac sign: aries i think? idk all i care is my celtic zodiac is a fox, so [47] pronouns: he/him [48] fav tv show: f ri ck en brooklyn 99 [49] tattoos: not yet, but after i get top surgery and no longer run the disk of mutilating or stretching it, i wanna get tim’s robin symbol on my chest [50] right or left handed: left!

FIRST… [51] surgery: wisdom teeth were my first surgery, i think? [52] piercing: got my earlobes pierced when i was like, 12? idk i don’t wear them anymore so they’ve all but closed up [53] best friend: this girl on the playground in preschool named asya but after her was this girl named natalie that i was friends with from kindergarten all through junior high. she just got married like, a month ago and i feel old [54] sport: like to actually continue with was soccer - i started at 6 i think [55] vacation: that i remember? disney world b/c my dad had drill down in florida so my parents dragged my sister and i with bc we didn’t have to pay for the hotel lol [56] pair of trainers: wut

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothin [58] drinking: water [59] i’m about to: sleep maybe, hopefully?  [60] listening to: still audiomachine since they just asked this question like 10 questions ago..... [61] waiting for: my anxiety to calm tf down so i can go to sleep [62] want: foooood. i ate dinner really early (5pm) and now it’s 10 hours later so i want food again. [63] get married: -super noncommittal and also confused, disgruntled noises- ?? [64] career: dream career is a zookeeper, honestly. it’s what i’m doing, i’ve worked really hard to get to the place where i am, and i’m happy with it

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: no preference [68] older or younger: usually i get along better with ppl older than me- all my closest friends are older by 2 years or more except like..... amy [69] romantic or spontaneous: anxiety and spontaneity don’t mix lmao [70] nice arms or nice stomach: either or both or neither is fine idrc [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive [72] hook up or relationship: relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant only bc troublemaker makes me anxious lmao

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? nope [75] drank hard liquor? ye i’ve had like. one whole vodka and lemonade in my entire life because i am a raging party animal /sarcasm [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? i lose my contacts in my eyeball sometimes [77] turned someone down? ye kinda. my ~best friends~ have this bad habit of ~falling in love with me~ and then getting pissed when i don’t return the feeling and treating me like crap :))))  [78] sex on first date? nope [79] broken someone’s heart? sure maybe idk. not on purpose. [80] had your own heart broken? no [81] been arrested? nope [82] cried when someone died? i’m a monster and have no feelings so no, not really. i usually go into emotional shock and stop processing everything [83] fallen for a friend: kind of

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? noooope [85] miracles? listen on friday i catered an event and the idiot who packed it up for us on their shift the day before forgot to put matches in the gathering. and the truck drivers loaded it onto the truck before i could check that everything was there. so we got to the location and couldn’t light the sternos for the hot food but somehow we found a box of matches in the kitchenette we were serving out of so yes i believe in miracles [86] love at first sight? maybe? idk not really i really don’t understand how anyone could love someone without knowing a bunch about them first [87] santa claus? billY AND I SAW SANTA ON OUR WAY UP TO C2E2 ON SUNDAY OKAY HIS CAR WAS RED AND SAID “MY OTHER RIDE IS A SLEIGH” AND HIS LICENSE PLATE SAID KRINGLE AND HE HAD A BIG WHITE BEARD IT WAS AMAZING OKAY. [88] kiss on the first date? maybe for ppl who aren’t like. super anxious about everything all the time [89] angels? no

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: marble, emma [91] eye color: teal-gray, which sounds pretentious and White Person af but like..... that’s the best way to describe them [92] favorite movie: i don’t knowwww that’s a hard one ;_; 

[swearronchanel]

Tired of these yet? A Christmas journey in March with 4.09

I’ve actually been productive today *claps* I’m the worst™ and a procrastinator to the core, so it was about damn time I got shit done. Plus+ I ran out of clean jeans so that was some motivation to do laundry & once I started moving I just kept going haha. But today I watched the Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher’s memorial & omg it was so emotional ugh. Now that I’m so sad I guess I’m going to watch Call the Midwife. Care to join me?

I closed my eyes and pointed to the episode list, looks like we’re watching 4.09 aka the 2015 Christmas special

I don’t have to pretend very hard that it’s Christmas because it was like 17 degrees f the other day lol

Am I the only one who hums along in their head to the theme song? ok nvm

Aw a baby

Tom is actually in church lol, we rarely see him there

Sister MJ lol, what is she looking for?!

Sister Winifred actually cooks/bakes pretty often

SISTER EVANGELINA 😭💔 I still miss her

Sister Winifred aka queen of cringey facial expressions, I love it

Ah no! the death joke is no longer funny sister E 😭😭 rip💔

My bby Trixie on the scene😍

What is quality street? I looked it up before but forgot. Candy right?

whoops is my American showing

I hope Sister MC comes back soon☹️

“Behold, I have located the Brandy” three cheers for alcohol 🍻 I wouldn’t choose brandy though what am I a rich old business man at a country club?

Lol Sister MJ & Sister W giggling so pure !

“You give us enough gip when you’re stone cold sober“😂 same

Gremlin kids in the front haha

Oh no😂 Babs gave them all candy and now has to make them spit it out😂

Aw I love Christmas

But looking at this snow is triggering even if it’s fake😭😂

WE’VE HAD SO MUCH THIS MONTH HERE & IT’S MARCH❄️

yikes these kids are awful, who let them up there! 😭😂

SHELAGH’S FACE 😂 SHE IS DISGUSTED OMG HAHAA

Patrick laughing so hard like same 😭😂

Welp he’s lucky, Saved by the bell thanks to Trixie

Doesn’t Sister MJ explode whatever’s in the pot?

Ahh Shelagh looks so good™!😍 I love when they dress her up!

In other news, Laura tweeted me, which means she knows I exists. What a time to be alive™😭✨👏🏼you know I was shook

Angela so precious aww, I hope my future baby is that pretty

Now I just think of The Crown when I see Mrs Willens *she’s in it if you haven’t watched*

Oh no Sister MJ!!! 😭😭 why are they always giving her illnesses! Dejala sola!

She was legit ill in the first Christmas special 😭

Love Trixie’s ponytail, why Patsy’s hair a mess tho? LOL I SHOULDN’T BE TALKING

I’m a walking ball of frizz. And when I don’t wash my hair for a few days it actually dread locks 😂 gotta love curls

Aw Delia’s not here- I forgot she cracked her head open and went back to Wales

Protect Sister MJ at every cost

Violet literally sewing Fred’s ass into the Santa pants 😂😂😂 fun fact they  did that to Olivia Newton John in Grease

not sure if I knew that because I have a junk brain of useless information or because I’m trash that reads buzzfeed

Violet’s been wearing blue eyeshadow for 3 series

“I’m not biting this, it’s too close to your backside” lol okay vi give it time. You’ll be cringeyly very handsy with each other in a bit anyway 😂

She’d do it now with no hesitation I bet

I’m here for their relationship tho😂

SISTER MJ HAD PNEUMONIA IN SERIES 1 DID SHE NOT?

Ugh distaval, fuck that. Just wait and see what chaos it brings

Aw Pats looking at the photo of Delia💔 oo wait that was a parallel then in the Cuban missile Crisis episode this series

PHYLLIS !! I missed her presence lol

Tom’s opening letter from bbc it’s lit

also: he looks good™

Poor Sister MJ! What are they feeding you, liver ew

Ah I forgot, this is when they get the tv😭

Poor Babs can’t go home for Christmas

You’ll have the nonnatus fam❤️❤️

“All should head home” *breaks out into song* THERE’S NOOO PLACE LIKE HOMEEE, FOR THE HOLIDAYSSS

Which is true because NYC is pretty beautiful at Christmas time, I can’t deny that

But also is when 100000x more people are visiting 🙃and stop in front of you when you’re walking to take pictures 🙃 *clenches fists* moving on..

Lol Tom you need to be more clear on this, they’re not getting it

Sister J shut him down 😂

“Mrs Mop” lmfao this BBC guy is a jerk😂

Laura’s another queen of facial expressions

“Aesthetics are vital” I feel

Aw Shelagh so cute being defensive of the kids of poplar

Lets be real though Shelagh’s always adorable bc Laura is an actual angel

pink wafers aye

i still have been craving them lol, there’s no bodega’s around my university though☹️

Angela is giggling, was this the last time we heard her make a noise lol

Wait this is when Sister MJ runs away

yikes measles

when did the vaccine become a thing then? that mmr shot ugh

Glad I got it because there’s supposedly someone with mumps on my campus like wtf

Why was Sister E so harsh yelling at Sister Mj!? That was unnecessary !!

LET 👏🏼SISTER 👏🏼MJ 👏🏼DECORATE👏🏼FOR👏🏼CHRISTMAS 👏🏼AND👏🏼WATCH 👏🏼TELEVISON !!

I’m so protective of her, stop😢😢

She doesn’t deserve that 💔

Sometimes I forget Patsy’s name is Patience

Fred’s Santa beard is gross ew😂😂

yikes an enema

I’d rather die

Oh no, there she goes *sings* there she goessss todayyy

Yes Babs lollipops are fascinating

She just slipped that baby out

I want to go to London at Christmas time

I love lights ✨✨

Delia! What up Bitch where you been!

BUT WAIT I HAVE A COAT THAT LOOKS REALLY SIMILAR TO MRS BUBSY’S LOL

It’s vintage too, i love it, makes me feel fabulous af

until I remember it’s probably a dead woman’s coat

WATCHING THEM LET THE BABY JUST HANG MAKES ME SO ANXIOUS OMG

“You clever girl!”

Aw poor iris 😭💔

Violet is actually so sweet & we don’t see much of her w/o Fred like why 

Everyone on this show is so sweet and pure !!! I just love it too much!

remember when I was normal and didn’t care so much about television? Yea me neither 😅

Sister MJ is gone

ALL SHE WANTED WAS TO PUT UP THE TREE!!

that necklace and sapphire ring were so pretty though 😭 wish my mom had a sapphire ring for me to inherit 

Shelagh is too pretty for this grey suit, where’s the navy one?!

I will never be comfortable with cookies being called biscuits tbh

“No dogs!” “If it can’t sing silent night I’m not interested”  SHELAGH IS GOLDEN

SHE HAS SOME GREAT LINES BUT GIVE HER MORE !!

Oh Hay Peter

if you think about it Miranda Hart put this poor guy out of a job. Like he used to have more screen time lol but he can’t be around much with out her

“Very like a family in fact” 😭 I love when they call themselves family cause they are !!

Wait rehearsing before school? Ugh that must have been so early 😂

I couldn’t have been in that choir. In high school I woke up at 6:45am everyday & started at 8:05am & only lived 2 blocks away but I still got there at 9:15am 🙃

plus I’m an awful singer 😂

“She probably thought her habit would keep her safe”

Sister Mary Cynthia says that about her self the next series when she’s attacked 😢

Babs was right though! She was just excited bendito 😭😭

How much is a bob?? £??

I barely can keep up with how many $ is a £ tbh

Lolol had to check when I donated to Laura’s fundraising 😂😂

Delia has been with this big ass bun for 3 series as well

The cafe they’re in is aesthetically pleasing

so Delia’s mom is hella protective but didn’t notice she left to another town lol??

well I guess they’re even now since patsy left & then lost contact for a bit

LET ME TELL YOU, THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED THIS EPISODE I WAS SCREAMINGGG

I THOUGHT THEY HAD KILLED SISTER MJ AND WAS FREAKING TF OUT ™

I’m trying to think of what Phyllis’s hat reminds me of

I wanna say Mary Poppins 

IT’S NOT SISTER MJ👏🏼

I knew it wasn’t but still!!!

Is Shelagh wearing lipstick? i’m here for it!

but I don’t like her dress

@ wardrobe/costume ppl be nicer to my bby pls

“Well, there’s just a word that no-one likes singing. It’s in that line and it begins with a "b”’ 😂 lmaooo c'mon Tim 😂😂

He was talking about breast feeding like how many episodes ago why is he embarrassed now? 😂

Patrick laughing 😭 me as a parent tbh

Poor sickly Sister MJ 💔

My bbys Trixie and Shelagh are ¡interacting!! 💕😍

How do I get my hair to look like Trixie’s/Helen’s

SORRY CANCELED

Lol jk all will be well bby

SISTER MJ REALLY OUT HERE IN THE WOODS, LIKE HOW ??

Ah Shelagh’s dressed up again! Love it 😍 and she’s wearing earrings & matching pearls!! so pretty!! 💕💕

this has been an episode of gushing over Laura sorry not sorry

Look at her hat, she can wear anything

LMAO HE WASN’T EVEN PETER PAN GET OUT OF HERE MAN

You have to be impressed that this 80 yr old woman with dementia found her childhood home

for real though I want Shelagh’s coat

mrs willens + shelagh was kinda a friendship & was cute

“Well I stopped holding out against that happiness, didn’t I?"💔💖

people on this show are always holding hands platonically & romantically like how sweet and pure !?

"Almost all the world was before your time child … you are concerned to see it last a little longer”

Hell yea lets get it, round up the nuns and nurses lets SING !!

“But it sometimes seems to me the older I get, the more I have to learn” 😭

“We get so much out of love, we find strength in it and courage. Love is our foundation and our fuel”

DAMN IT WHY IS THE WRITING SO GREAT??!

HEIDI CAN WRITE MY EUOLGY SINCE SHE’LL BE THE CAUSE OF MY ACTUAL DEATH WHEN THIS SHOW IS  OVER ONE DAY *WHICH IS HOPEFULLY NEVER, ..I MEAN DAYS OF OUR LIVES IS ON SEASON 50 SO IT’S NOT IMPOSSIBLE🙃🙃*

shelagh and sister j❤️❤️ so pure. I love their relationship + moments together

BUT I STILL *NEED* TRIXIE & SHELAGH TO HAVE A REAL FRIENDSHIP + ACTUAL SCENES TOGETHER

no sister, it’s not your fault that she ran away😢

broadcast about to be lit

Why did we never see Trixie giving Barbara a makeup lesson😭😂

Trixie getting excited about putting makeup on Babs like same 😂I like helping people with makeup *even though I’m not even that good haha*

“Oh some lipstick might be nice, with a touch of gay geranium you’d look quite like Jean Simmons” SISTER W SNEAKS OUT TO THE MOVIE THEATRE ON HER DAYS OFF AND NO ONE WILL CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE OK

PHYLLIS GARGLING OMG

WHY IS IT SO FUNNY 😂

yea sister E I’m sorry you were kinda bitchy

I’m sorry to call a fictitious nun a bitch oops lol

SHE’S GOING TO REDEEM HERSELF AND FIND SISTER MJ THOUGH SO IT’S OKAY!! 😭👏🏼👏🏼

Tom is so handsome! i think the collar distracts you from noticing though haha

What does wet behind the ears mean and why does it sound cringey?

on the next episode of I didn’t know I was pregnant: Christmas miracles in Poplar

No but for real it seriously was a show on TLC😂 I had a phase where I watched like every show on that channel

“Antonia! Nanny found a bible in your room again” so?? like you wish she would’ve found drugs or something?

Ugh I don’t think Sister MJ will live 3 more series & I WILL BE A WRECK™ WHEN SHE DIES

Surprise! you’re pregnant & will give birth in the next 12 mins before this show ends

imagine omg never mind not feeling safe Iris I’d be freaking tf out

I told you sister Julienne just shows up and speaks and you just feel calm

“Love is not going to be halved, but doubled” I swear someone says this again in another episode but I can’t remember

maybe I’m lying idk

The Fred + Sister E dynamic was golden

what is Sister Evangelina holding?

it looks like a bong tbh

Sister MJ saying pawning her mother’s jewels was an “interesting experience"😂 dios te bengida, she needs to always be protected  

aw pats & deels reunited *and it feeelsss so gooddd*

Fred saying rigging this raffle is immoral like HE WASNT THE BIGGEST SCAMMER IN POPLAR

I was here for it though lol😂

Phyllis gargling 😂😂

Wait omg she has earrings on how precious!

I always notice when girls/women don’t have their ears pierced because I didn’t realize for the longest time that it’s mainly just hispanics that get their ears pierced when they’re babies😂 I’ve had mine since I was six weeks old👶🏼

"Beatrix Franklin, midwife of mystery” aka my bby and ray of sunshine✨😭

it’s all good though, Trixie has Christopher, Tom has Babs, now where’s my handsome Englishman??

cue Vanessa Redgrave

“Sometimes the route to joy is indirect, our journey home not quite as we expected. There is no magic star to guide our steps, no ancient prophecies to predict our way. The greatest gift is to know that we travel not alone, but in the company of others. That there are hands as can reach for and hearts to keep us warm..”

Laura’s angelic voice blessing™ me on this Saturday night

I need it after being degenerate every other day of the week

*sings loudly* CHRISTTTTTTTT THEEEE SAVIORRRR IS BORNNNNNN

AHH I WANT CHRISTMAS NOW ! + THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 

patsy lowkey snuggled up on Phyllis I love it

Trixie is serving looks in the corner 😍!

I still want those hoop earrings she has!

And they finally got a tv😭👏🏼

“And the family gathered round, watching their faces flicker black and white. Their very presence in the room an act of love, a welcome home”

*BANGS FISTS ON AN IMAGINARY TABLE* THIS SHOW IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND PURE AND IF YOU DISAGREE WE CAN FIGHT

I love it

Now I must go. until next time..