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taones · 2 years ago

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If You Can Hold On (2) - A.A, S.K, S.D

rewrite of the second part of the series (first part here and original series on my masterlist) enjoy <3

pairing ~ poly asadaisuga x gn!reader

warnings ~ pining, angst, Daichi sleeps shirtless bc c'mon now, reader is in the pool being sad but no mentions of drowning! not edited bc I'm lazy

Soft murmurs woke you from your restless sleep. After their last conversation, it had obviously been hard for you to get any good rest. The car rolled to a stop inside a motel car park, bathing you and its other occupants in the red sign light.

“I went in but they only have one room so the four of us will have to share”

The disappointment in Daichi’s tone was palpable, like an arrow through your heart. You guys were best friends, you had obviously shared rooms and beds before. Why would it matter now? Ever since you had known them you had been comfortable sharing beds etc, even after they started dating. The fact it was different now obviously made you think back to the conversation you overheard. Maybe the person they were adding didn’t like you or they thought it would be inappropriate considering they were courting another person.

You felt Asahi shift beside you and slammed your eyes shut once again.

There was no way you were letting them know you were awake. If you had to face them before you fully calmed down, there was no question on if you would end up crying. Also you deeply did not want to give Asahi his hoodie back. There was a lingering feeling in your mind that you would never have an opportunity to steal it again. A sharp twinge of panic rocketed through your stomach at the thought. Of course, there was a chance their new s/o wouldn’t mind, but not many people were comfortable with their partner being that close to someone else.

“It’s okay” Asahi soothed, “i’ll carry them”

Yeah, like you were going to let that happen. If any one of the three men touched you right now you were sure to burst into tears. Deciding that was the best time to break your facade, you pretended to stir. You hoped the red lights didn’t reflect on the glimmer of tears in your eyes. The cold, wet gravel seeped through the mesh of your shoes as the boys started leading you towards the room. No noise was made apart from the crunches under your feet - small victories, you mused to yourself. You adjusted your bags in your hand so you could grab the room key from Daichi’s hand. It was bronze in colour with a red plastic tag, slightly faded but you were able to make out the number 32 on the front. Locating the room, you were quick to pull away from the rest of the fatigued group, finding it easy to speed away from the sleep-addled men under the guise of dinding some comfort from the rain. Behind you, Daichi held his hand to his chest as if your hasty touch had scalded him. You chewed on your lip slightly, feeling bad at the upset you might have caused. Only hoping he would take it as you being tired, you shifted your gaze to the room door and marched on.

The room itself was painted a gaudy yellow, with a brown patterned carpet that had obviously been unchanged since the motel itself was built. There was a large bed in the middle of the room, big enough for the four of you easily, but your eyes were driven to the sofa to the side of it. It was a loud red, sticking out sorely from the rest of the room. The harsh red was an assault on your retinas. How fitting, you thought to yourself. Scoffing, you laid your bags on the couch, pulling out some shorts and one of Koushi’s t-shirts to sleep in - rushing into the bathroom to change as soon as the other men walked in.

Thinking you had escaped, you sighed and leant against the door. Only to hear the voices of the three men loud and clear. The thought of escaping out of the tiny bathroom window became suddenly very tempting.

“I wonder what’s wrong with y/n” Koushi asked, seemingly dismissive.

“I’m sure we’ll find out soon, they don’t hide anything from us”

You scoffed again under your breath, if only they knew. Still, you couldn;t fault Daichi for comforting his partner.

“Wait look what I took the other day Suga, it’ll cheer you up”

You heard Azumane pull out his phone and then a resounding ‘aww’ from the grey haired man.

“I wish we could ask them to join us sooner but we have to wait till we’re back huh?” Suga lamented, “wish this trip could be over already”

Ouch, that one hurt.

He was obviously showing a photo of this mystery person. You really didn’t understand why they hadn’t told you yet. It wasn’t like they could predict your horrible reaction, or that they even knew about your feelings. It made the doubtful pit in your stomach grow and twist, pulling you into a nauseous state. If they really wanted this to be over so soon after it began, there was really no point in you staying. They were obviously preoccupied with this other person - it was like you were never even there to begin with.

A knock on the bathroom door made you jolt. Reluctantly, you peered at yourself in the dirty mirror and cringed at the sight. There were tear tracks dried onto your skin and your eyes were rimmed with an irritated colour. The sadness couldn’t be more obvious. Hastily, you rinsed your face in the sink, patting it down with your t-shirt. Taking a moment to breath and calm yourself, you turned the door knob.

Daichi’s concerned face met you on the other side. Well, there goes being inconspicuous. You shot him what you hoped was a reassuring grin and pushed past his shoulder slightly. It was obvious he wanted to say something to you, but he stayed silent. They all watched you hastily grab a blanket off of the end of the bed and reach for the door. Not looking back you called behind you.

“I’ll be right back i just have to, uh, make a call so don’t wait up”

Well done, very convincing, you mused as you shut the door behind you.

The gravel once again let the damp seep into you. Cold air prickled the skin on your legs while you walked towards your destination. Like all good motels, there was a pool a little bit away from your room, cold and full of rain water from the earlier weather, but it was a welcomed solace from the suffocating presence of the room. It was dimly lit but had no cover, so you assumed nobody would yell at you for using it. The water was surprisingly clear and cold from the earlier rain. Perfect for you to dangle your legs in while you waited there. Rain always calmed you when your thoughts were racing and you assumed the pool would work the same way. Relationships and people might change to you but water, the feeling of it moving over your skin, that would always be the same.

You thought back to one of your earliest memories with all three of the boys, after you had come to the realisation you were hopelessly in love with all three. It was during first year, towards the end of the summer months, when the leaves had begun to tinge into soft yellows and deep reds. The rain had started pouring that day unexpectedly, breaking through the muggy weather that the last three months had left behind. The icy cold raindrops were a welcome feeling on your heated skin. All three of you had ran from volleyball practice to the courtyard outside, spreading your arms towards the sky like uniform-donned angels - thanking the sky for it’s gift. Of course, you had all got soaked but you smiled even after you had all separated to walk home.

Simpler times, you thought to yourself sarcastically. The feelings had been so new and exciting at the time, hardly the depressing lingering in the back of your mind as it had been recently. There had come a time in school, you’re not sure when, where you had sort of accepted it would never happen and promptly gave up. Whether this was before or after the three announced their relationship, you had forgotten. Not that it mattered either way.

Reflections in the water rippled when you dipped your legs into the surface. You stared as your reflection was distorted, mussed about in the small waves. The water settled once again and you were left with the cold, hard truth of the image you had become. Your rimmed eyes and tear tracks seemed to only accentuate the already exhausted look on your face. It was as if you hadn’t slept in weeks. Suga liked describing the sparkle in your eyes when you got excited about something - apparently it reminded him of a snowglobe or something, whatever he had said. You sighed, meeting your own eyes in the water. They were empty of any sparkle.

You swished your legs around the water again, a weight lifting off your shoulders as your face was contorted once again by the waves.

A ringtone rang out from next to you and you scrambled to shut it off. Bringing the phone up to your ear, you were met with the soothing (if not minorly monotone) voice of your club manager and best friend.

“Hello?” you sniffed into the receiver.

Luckily for you, Kiyoko had escaped your seemingly never ending list of crushes. She had been a fast friend when you had met and, luckily for her, she was currently driving somewhere around the Japanese countryside with her girlfriend.

The dark-haired girl was also one of the only people in the world that knew your secret. Which was most likely the reason for her phoning.

“How are you holding up y/n?”

You scoffed.

“As good as i can i suppose” you joked, shoulders tensing at the lack of response.

“Okay, i’m doing horribly, i swear they’re doing it on purpose”

She hummed, never one for many words.

“Did you know they wanted to add another person to their relationship? They won’t talk about it when they think i’m awake but i caught them in the car. They seem so, so excited and i hate that i can’t just be happy for them”

Gnawing on your lip, you waited for a response.

“Do you need us to come pick you up?” she questioned, almost hesitantly.

You stopped and thought about it. Was it the best idea for you to stay? There was a feeling poking at the back of your brain that this trip would go horribly wrong but you weren’t too sure it would be the best idea to leave either. There was no real excuse you could give the boys and you had been planning this for a while. Chewing on your thumbnail, you made a choice.

“I don’t think you need to get me” you began, “i’ll see how it goes but, uh, be on standby i guess”

A melodic hum rang from down the phone. You weren’t sure what it’s inflection was.

The call ended quite quickly after that. It was expected, the hour was late and Kiyoko definitely had better things to do than audibly observing her friend having a breakdown. It would be a lie to say you didn’t sound as pathetic as you looked. The rain had started falling again towards the end of your conversation so you had stuffed your phone in your pocket and hugged the worn blanket tighter around your bare arms.

You had failed to see a shock of cropped, brunette hair disappearing behind your room door.

The cold rain drizzled down your scalp and down your neck, leaving goosebumps in it’s wake. The rain seemed to peel some of the pressure of of your shoulders. It gave you something to focus on so that you didn’t have to think so hard for a while. Quieting the thoughts spinning round your head like whirlpools. Closing your eyes, you laid back on the wet tile and imagined spinning your hands around in the frigid water, creating your own whirlpools. Ones so powerful you could jump right in and they would suck you away from the motel - to wherever you wanted to go. Maybe you could stay underwater for a while, away from everyone. Kiyoko was a strong swimmer, she could bring you food and company. Maybe you could make some less complicated friends with the fish and little crabs that lived on the seafloor.

When you peeled open your wet eyelids, your reality confronted you like a slap to the face. The motel was still the motel, and the pool's surface remained unchanged.

“y/n!” yelled a voice from behind you.

Rolling your eyes, you peered up from between your lashes. Suga had run out of the room, holding one of his partners' jackets above him in a mockery of a shelter from the rain. You would think he would have the sensibility to choose a waterproof one.

His shoulders were drawn close to his body under his knitted cardigan, silvery brows drawn close to each other. There wasn’t much exchanged between the two of you but the worry on his features was hard to miss. You suppose you did look somewhat like a corpse at the time. Even worse - a cold, damp one. Even now, you looked back up towards the sky and snorted at your own silliness, as if they were even thinking about that.

Asahi looked at the exchange from the winder, choosing to accompany his boyfriend outside when he saw your body twist and return to its previous position. Being one of the more sensibly dressed of your group - he grabbed a parka and headed out next to the shorter man, perching his chin on Suga’s shoulder.

“I wish i knew what was going on in their head sometimes” Asahi commented from next to Koushi’s ear.

His voice was soft enough and they were far enough away that you couldn’t hear them. In all fairness, without facing them anyone would have been completely unaware that they were talking. They both observed your sodden state, noticing your eyelids fluttering closed as you slipped off to sleep.

“I would love to know how on earth they can sleep in this weather” Koushi commented dryly, “they’re going to catch their death because of the damn rain one of these days”

The brunette chuckled, wrapping his arms around his lover’s waist. Asahi had a comforting effect on almost anyone that truly knew him. A real gentle giant, his presence had the ability to both command attention and become a bean of solace for anyone that needed it. It was hard not to feel comfortable around Asahi Azumane. Something his boyfriend could attest to enthusiastically as his shoulders finally withdrew from next to his ears.

“They seemed happier out here in the rain than they have on the entire trip so far”

If he hadn’t been right next to his jaw, there is no way the taller man would’ve heard Koushi’s bitter muttering. And some part of him wished he didn’t, because then he wouldn't have to face the fact that his statement was entirely true. Even now, as you drifted off into sleep, the smile that had been missing the entire trip had somewhat returned to your face. It was refreshing to see but the two men only wished they had been the cause, not a weather pattern. The lines of your body were less harsh, less bunched up into each other. Your limbs hung loose on the tiles and the water instead of coiling and wrapping around each other like fishing line - the desperate attempt to make yourself smaller had not gone unnoticed by your companions.

Asahi bit his lip.

“We should get them inside” came the sleep-addled voice of their third and final partner.

Daichi was dressed the least sensibly of all of them, only wearing a pair of chequered pyjama pants. Of course, as he was leaning in the doorway and not actually outside, there was no need for much else. A flower of guilt had bloomed in the pit of his stomach at overhearing the other two’s conversation. Your behavior had not gone unnoticed by him, but he had initially assumed you were just tired. It was overtly obvious to him now that something was very wrong.

The three men trudged the small distance to your snoozing figure, not caring much if they got soaked. Daichi sat you up next to the pool as the other two worked on drying your chlorine-coated legs. The coarse fabric of the towels did little to disturb your slumber, only causing your knees to draw up to your chest and a small hum to escape your parted lips. The gaze of the shorter brunette man would probably have burnt holes in your skin had you been awake at the time. However, the contentment of your slumber went undisturbed and you turned your face into his bare chest, snuggling into it.

part two is up! i've already finished part three so I will hopefully post that tomorrow <3 reblogs and comments are always appreciated, stay sexy!

#asadaisuga #asadaisuga x reader #haikyuu imagine #daichi x reader #daichi sawamura x reader #asahi x reader #asahi azumane x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara koushi x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu hurt/comfort #poly haikyuu

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theoceanofasanoya · 4 months ago

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day 5: lighthouse (tags: canon divergence, emotional hurt/comfort, anxiousness)

The boulder in his stomach is familiar. Nishinoya stares into the darkness of his room, with intentional darkness, and the boulder becomes heavier.

It clicks like an instinct built up through several years of volleyball: fear. He can’t remember the last time he was excited to feel this fear.

He knows, rationally, that it was during their Date Tech match, soon after Hinata and Kageyama joined. He felt it when Aone pointed at Asahi before the match. But now, his body betrays him, betrays his training, continuing to feel fear, and continues to worry his brain.

Noya gets up from his corner and leaps towards the front door, his breathing uneven as he opens the door of his room to let in the light of the living room. The owners, still on their sofa and watching their Italian show, turn to him, and the woman says, “good?”

“Good.” Noya says. He’s come across the world, and he’s in a place with nobody, and he’s got money that’s gotten stolen several times. He needs to keep it on himself from now. He needs to be careful with the owner couple too. What if their kindness is only a facade? They must be struggling financially too, if they’re letting in a non-Italian, frugal foreigner who barely speaks their language, or even good enough English.

“Mr. Nishinoya?” She asks.

Shit, Noya thinks. He froze up again. He shakes his head and walks back into his room. He turns on all the switches, uncaring that it turns on the porch light of their house.

He takes a seat on his bed instead. He takes out his phone, and ignoring his instinct to open up Instagram and check everything, he dials to Asahi.

It’s too late for him, cut the call, Nishinoya thinks. But he shakes his head. There’s something wrong with him. He’s scared and freezing up and there’s no Grandpa with him right now. If he’s learnt anything from years of facing his fears, it’s to do something. To attack before the fear can solidify. He must work on this.

When the ringing stops, Asahi’s rough voice answers, “Hello?”

“Asahi-san, I’m afraid.” That’s the worst way to start a conversation, Noya thinks, but he must go on. “I’ve become afraid again.”

“Afraid of what?” Asahi sounds worried, but his voice stays calm, and for a second, Noya is proud of him. “Are you safe, Noya?”

“I am. I’m in the room,” Noya says. “I’ve become scared of everything again. I’m thinking. I’m thinking too much. I don’t know what to do. I hate feeling this. I don’t want to feel this. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.”

This is probably the longest he’s spoken when he’s feeling something bad. He’s not like this. He processes his emotions better than this. He’s Asahi’s rock, the fearless one.

“That’s okay, Noya.” Asahi’s voice changes something akin to his therapist’s. “Did something happen recently?”

“No.” Noya says, then pauses for a moment. He thinks. A pickpocket stole his wallet in the beginning of the week, that was the fourth time this month; Wednesday, he was held at knife-point with three strangers in the bathroom of a cafe; today, the owners raised his weekly rent to almost double, and said he’d have to leave tomorrow if he can’t pay it. He corrects himself, “yeah. A lot.”

“What happened, Noya?”

“You’ll worry,” Noya mumbles into the phone. He lays on his back, on his bed, and stares at the ceiling.

“More than now, when you’re calling... at 4am in the morning?”

Noya sighs. “Yeah.”

There’s silence on the otherside for a minute. Noya thinks maybe Asahi fell asleep again, until his rough voice startles him. “Come back to Japan. Stay with me for a few days.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to book a ticket, let alone fly again, Asahi-san.”

“Yuu.” Asahi takes a deep breath. “Nishinoya Yuu, it will be difficult in the beginning. It will be scary, but it will stop being scary the second time.”

“But it’s scary again, Asahi-san.” Noya bites his lower lip, grabbing his blanket until his fists turn white. “It’ll be scary again, and I don’t like it.”

The rapid heartbeat is back again, from when he was a kid, and so are the damn tears in his eyes. He hates crying because he’s scared. Grandpa said crying never solves anything. And here is, crying that he’s scared again to the love of his life.

“Noya? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” Noya says, and his body betrays him again. A sob escapes and he turns, bites his pillow to stop anymore from coming. He mumbles into the phone, “I’ll be okay.”

“Nishi, listen to me. This feeling won’t be forever. You won’t be scared forever, Noya.” Asahi’s therapist-voice is pretty assertive and it catches Noya’s attention for long enough. “Are you scared of riding a cycle again?”

Noya chuckles. “No.”

“Of a really strong server?”

“No,” Noya says, now smiling. The boulder in his stomach is lighter at the reminder. There’s a flicker of excitement, thinking of Oikawa’s serve, the burn his forearms felt, the cheers from his teammates. The cheer from Asahi, the ‘Good job, Noya!’ from Daichi.

“See? Some fears can come back, some won’t. You’ll be okay.” Asahi breathes out into the phone, and Noya realises what he’s doing. He’s breathing loud and clear for Noya to copy. “Do you believe me?”

“I do, now.”

“So you’ll come back to Japan for a few weeks, for me?”

Noya takes a deep breath too. He wipes his tears away, wipes the snot on the back of his hand, and breathes out carefully. “Yeah.”

“Good.” Asahi chuckles. “Should I book your tickets?”

“No, Asahi-san, I’ll do it myself.”

“Okay, I’ll wait for you.”

Noya grins. “You know, Asahi-san, you’re like my lighthouse. Always guiding me towards you.”

“Noya,” Asahi whines, clearly missing the compliment Noya meant it as. “Are you feeling any better?”

“A lot better, thanks to you.”

“Let me know when you’re coming, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

#haikyuu #asanoya #azumane asahi nishinoya yuu #asahi x nishinoya #hq fanfic #haikyuu fic #my fic #asanoya fic #queued #tags: canon divergence au #tags: ambiguous relationship #tags: hurt/comfort #tags: emotional hurt/comfort #tags: anxiousness #haikyuu!!

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immediatelywriting · 2 years ago

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Turn Around, When Possible Reading Guide

A few months ago, I finished posting “Turn Around, When Possible” the first part of my Haikyuu fanfiction series called “There’s No Navigation That Tells You How To Survive A Car Crash” on AO3.

Back when I posted it, I left a reading guide in the comments on that final chapter, but I’m going to transfer it to Tumblr, because I think that’ll be more organized.

So from now on, you’ll be able to find the storylines of each single character, in case you’re interested in reading only their storyline.

_______________________________________

For the people who haven’t stumbled past this post because of the link in my AO3 end-note. Hi! I welcome you to read the summary of “Turn Around, When Possible”:

It starts out like a fun idea: the Karasuno Volleyball Club traveling South to meet their rival teams for a training camp in Tokyo. Having full faith in their bus driver, Takeda, the team dozes off during the long drive. They’ve been driving through the woods for hours now, after all, and it’s already gotten dark.

Little do they know that this drive was never meant to be this long, and that Takeda is horrendously lost.

It gets worse from there – when, disoriented by the darkness and tiredness, Takeda makes a mistake while driving. A mistake that results in the bus rolling down a slope.

Just like that, Team Karasuno is hurt and stranded in the middle of nowhere, struggling to survive. All they can do, except take care of their wounds and one another, is wait, and wait, and wait for someone to find them.

They wish they’d turned around when they still had the chance.

_______________________________________

Are you interested in reading the entire first fic (not following just one character) click here. I do really recommend you first read it completely before choosing a specific character’s storyline, because otherwise things will get really confusing.

Or if you want to read part 2 of this series, click here.

Or if you are a fast reader and want to read part three, click here.

Click “read more” to see all characters’ storylines listed in order below.

Hinata’s storyline

These are the links that’ll send you to the chapters that belong this character’s storyline

Part 1. Turn Around, When Possible chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 4

chapter 7

chapter 14

chapter 15

chapter 16

chapter 22

chapter 23

chapter 24

chapter 31

chapter 33

Part 2. Turned Around (Recalculating Route) chapter 4

chapter 6

chapter 7

chapter 11

chapter 18

chapter 21

chapter 22

chapter 26

chapter 27

chapter 28

chapter 34

chapter 35

chapter 40

chapter 41

chapter 44

chapter 49

chapter 56

chapter 58

Part 3. Destination Reached chapter 6

chapter 7

_______________________________________

Kageyama’s storyline

These are the links that’ll send you to the chapters that belong this character’s storyline

Part 1. Turn Around, When Possible chapter 1

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 14

chapter 16

chapter 22

chapter 23

chapter 24

chapter 31

Part 2. Turned Around (Recalculating Route) chapter 2

chapter 10

chapter 11

chapter 18

chapter 22

chapter 40

chapter 41

chapter 47

chapter 48

chapter 49

chapter 52

chapter 56

chapter 58

Part 3. Destination Reached chapter 4

chapter 6

chapter 7

_______________________________________

Daichi’s storyline

These are the links that’ll send you to the chapters that belong this character’s storyline

Part 1. Turn Around, When Possible chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 4

chapter 7

chapter 8

chapter 11

chapter 12

chapter 30

Part 2. Turned Around (Recalculating Route) chapter 2

chapter 9

chapter 12

chapter 23

chapter 24

chapter 25

chapter 35

chapter 39

chapter 42

chapter 45

chapter 46

chapter 50

chapter 54

chapter 55

chapter 56

chapter 58 Part 3. Destination Reached chapter 5

chapter 7 _______________________________________

Sugawara’s storyline

These are the links that’ll send you to the chapters that belong this character’s storyline

Part 1. Turn Around, When Possible chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 7

chapter 8

chapter 11

chapter 12

chapter 19

chapter 29

chapter 30

chapter 33

Part 2. Turned Around (Recalculating Route) chapter 1

chapter 12

chapter 23

chapter 25

chapter 28

chapter 35

chapter 39

chapter 50

chapter 51

chapter 54

chapter 55

chapter 56

chapter 58

Part 3. Destination Reached chapter 5

chapter 7

_______________________________________

Nishinoya’s storyline

These are the links that’ll send you to the chapters that belong this character’s storyline

Part 1. Turn Around, When Possible chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 4

chapter 7

chapter 8

chapter 9

chapter 26

chapter 27

chapter 33

Part 2. Turned Around (Recalculating Route) chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 15

chapter 16

chapter 20

chapter 28

chapter 30

chapter 36

chapter 37

chapter 53

chapter 56

chapter 58

Part 3. Destination Reached chapter 4

chapter 7

_______________________________________

Asahi’s storyline

These are the links that’ll send you to the chapters that belong this character’s storyline

Part 1. Turn Around, When Possible chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 9

chapter 26

chapter 27

chapter 29

chapter 33

Part 2. Turned Around (Recalculating Route) chapter 1

chapter 15

chapter 16

chapter 17

chapter 20

chapter 29

chapter 30

chapter 34

chapter 35

chapter 37

chapter 53

chapter 56

chapter 58

Part 3. Destination Reached chapter 4

chapter 7

_______________________________________

Tanaka’s storyline

These are the links that’ll send you to the chapters that belong this character’s storyline

Part 1. Turn Around, When Possible chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 4

chapter 7

chapter 8

chapter 19

chapter 20

chapter 21

chapter 29

chapter 33

Part 2. Turned Around (Recalculating Route) chapter 1

chapter 17

chapter 28

chapter 34

chapter 35

chapter 44

chapter 56

chapter 58

Part 3. Destination Reached chapter 2

chapter 7

_______________________________________

Kiyoko’s storyline

These are the links that’ll send you to the chapters that belong this character’s storyline

Part 1. Turn Around, When Possible chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 4

chapter 15

chapter 16

chapter 21

chapter 33

Part 2. Turned Around (Recalculating Route) chapter 2

chapter 13

chapter 17

chapter 28

chapter 33

chapter 34

chapter 35

chapter 56

chapter 58

Part 3. Destination Reached chapter 2

chapter 7

_______________________________________

Yachi’s storyline

These are the links that’ll send you to the chapters that belong this character’s storyline

Part 1. Turn Around, When Possible chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 4

chapter 15

chapter 16

chapter 24

chapter 33

Part 2. Turned Around (Recalculating Route) chapter 2

chapter 6

chapter 13

chapter 17

chapter 28

chapter 44

chapter 56

chapter 58

Part 3. Destination Reached chapter 7

_______________________________________

Tsukishima’s storyline

These are the links that’ll send you to the chapters that belong this character’s storyline

Part 1. Turn Around, When Possible chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 6

chapter 17

chapter 18

chapter 19

chapter 33

Part 2. Turned Around (Recalculating Route) chapter 4

chapter 14

chapter 38

chapter 43

chapter 56

chapter 58

Part 3. Destination Reached chapter 3

chapter 7

_______________________________________

Yamaguchi’s storyline

These are the links that’ll send you to the chapters that belong this character’s storyline

Part 1. Turn Around, When Possible chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 6

chapter 17

chapter 18

chapter 19

chapter 29

chapter 33

Part 2. Turned Around (Recalculating Route) chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 14

chapter 17

chapter 28

chapter 33

chapter 34

chapter 35

chapter 38

chapter 43

chapter 44

chapter 56

chapter 58

Part 3. Destination Reached chapter 3

chapter 7

_______________________________________

Takeda’s storyline

These are the links that’ll send you to the chapters that belong this character’s storyline

Part 1. Turn Around, When Possible chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 4

chapter 10

chapter 12

chapter 18

chapter 19

chapter 29

chapter 33

Part 2. Turned Around (Recalculating Route) chapter 1

chapter 6

chapter 12

chapter 31

chapter 32

chapter 44

chapter 56

chapter 57

chapter 58

Part 3. Destination Reached chapter 1

chapter 7

_______________________________________

Uaki’s storyline

These are the links that’ll send you to the chapters that belong this character’s storyline

Part 1. Turn Around, When Possible chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 7

chapter 8

chapter 10

chapter 18

chapter 19

chapter 29

chapter 33

Part 2. Turned Around (Recalculating Route) chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

chapter 19

chapter 32

chapter 56

chapter 57

chapter 58

Part 3. Destination Reached chapter 7

_______________________________________

The other teams’ storyline

These are the links that’ll send you to the chapters that belong this character’s storyline

Part 1. Turn Around, When Possible chapter 5

chapter 13

chapter 25

chapter 28

chapter 32

chapter 33

Part 2. Turned Around (Recalculating Route) chapter 8

chapter 52

chapter 58

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The fic has been completely uploaded, so this is the complete guide. In the case that this fic gets any spin-offs I’ll make sure to link them down below :)

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sleepingnova · 2 years ago

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Estrangement.

the feeling that you do not belong, especially if you are around a group of people.

pairing : sawamura daichi, sugawara koshi, azumane asahi x reader (Poly ship)

summary : With daichi and asahi's birthdays being only a day apart, it seems like both boys have the birthday blues. Reader is a bit on the stoic side, very chill and not very emotional. Both boys are sadge :(

warnings : A bit of swearing, mentions of smoking, familial issues, mentions of being depressed, mentions of being suicidal

genre : angst to fluff (hurt to comfort)

author's note : I thought of this last night, a small scenario that fits perfectly for a specific few headcanons I have for both boys. With that being said, enjoy. btw I rambled, a lot in this. It's long as shit. So for all my readers who love long angst, here you go. *kith* :>

As the clock hits midnight, the stars twinkle above you. The day shifts from the 31st of December to the 1st of January. You had already given your present to Daichi, and now was Asahi's turn. The three of them walked onto the balcony with you. The strong smell of marijuana from your bong could be smelled from your room.

"Hello, my love." The oldest one of the 3 spoke softly. You could tell something was wrong, he sounded like he had a hitch in his throat.

You blew out the smoke from your mouth and inhaled it into your nose.

"Hello, darling boy, happy birthday, my sweet boy. What should we do later today for your birthday? I know, let's go out for lunch, for yours and daichi's birthday. I know we went out yesterday for your birthday, 'mura, but I just like spoiling my sweet partners, is that so wrong?" You rambled on, your words slowing and slurring around just a little because of the marijuana.

You leaned in for a kiss towards Azumane, but was stopped.

"Um, why don't we head inside, it's a little cold. I don't want you to get sick." Asahi spoke, just barely above a whisper.

You nodded and walked back inside your room. Once you sat back down onto your bed, you spoke up.

"Alright, I may be high, but I'm not an idiot. Asahi, you sound and look like you've been crying, 'mura, you too. What's wrong? I'm always here if you need to talk to me, you know." You spoke, placing your lighter and bong on your dresser.

"It's nothing, really sweetheart, we promise, just Dai and I have been having a few issues. We just don't want to bother you with them. We know when you smoke, you aren't in the right mental headspace." Asahi replied.

You sat up and put your things away.

"Well, no not necessarily, sweetheart. I'll always have time to listen to you. Go ahead, tell me what's going on in those pretty minds of yours, both of you. Koshi, you're welcome to vent to me if you would like as well." You explained.

Asahi sighed hesitantly, and began. "When you look at me it's like you don't see me. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, but you've changed so much, so now I feel like I don't know who you are anymore."

He looked around the room, practically at everything but you. Your gaze was set, tears forming in your eyes and your throat closing as he continued, "What happened to you, my love? Where have you gone? I miss the old you, please, if you're in there, I want you back. I need you back. Come back to me, please, darling." His eyes were glossy and filled with tears, until he looked at you while glancing around and was filled with regret.

He never meant to make you cry, he never wished to be the cause of your tears, but there you were. The silence that followed was suffocating, both of your minds racing, you were speechless, had your weed addiction gotten that bad? Could you even call it an addiction?

Sure, it was your mind - numbing thing, you used it every now and then, and everything that happened in that time was mushed around in your brain. What had he seen? Was there more to this than you thought?

You reached towards his hands, but he pulled them away. He slowly reached back to intertwine your hands together. "I need you to tell me what you've been seeing. Please, what have I been doing wrong? Talk to me, don't be scared, you're not going to hurt my feelings by being honest." You were wiping your eyes, your mind was spinning and you felt like throwing up.

His thoughts and mind were racing, his first instinct was to comfort you, to tell you he was sorry and that he loved you. But you said that he should be honest right? He's always honest, but maybe this time he was too honest?

His hand rubbed against the back of his neck as he thought about just giving in. He knew this was best for a relationship to thrive, communication, it's just he didn't think it'd be so... empty of love or warmth. He pondered continuing, but something just told him to keep going, and get it off his chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

"I don't know.. I just feel so invisible around you now. Whenever I'm here, I try and be intimate with you and hold your hand and stuff, but you always push me away." He recalled, as he watched and felt the grip of your hand tighten around his.

"You've never shown signs of not liking pda, so what changed? Whenever I talk, I always get the feeling that you're not listening to me. You don't come on dates anymore, either, and it's not just me who's noticed that one." He was bringing up point after point and you didn't know what to do or where to begin to explain that this is all just a big misunderstanding.

"My anxiety is eating me alive right now, and I never want to ask this, ever, and God, I hope it isn't true. Tell me I'm overthinking, please anything. You're all I have left, baby, please don't you leave too." He sobbed, his throat closing and he coughs. After what feels like forever in silence, he begins to speak again.

"I'm just going to ask before I puke, have you ever fallen out of love with us? Has there ever been a time where you stopped loving us? If you have, I understand, but please, I'm begging you, I'll get down on my knees if I have to, please don't leave just yet. I've lost just about everyone and everything, I can't lose you too. Not yet." He sniffled, his heart skipping beats and his breathing heavy and rapid.

His tears fell onto your hands as you looked at him, with your eyes and mouth open in shock. Every heart warming memory replaying in your mind, each one longer than the last. This was it. You had waited for so long, for someone who would love you as an equal, who'd treat you with respect, someone who wouldn't use you, whether that be for your intelligence or body or anything really. You had a grasp on it, and it was...over? No, it can't be over, not after you wasted so much time trying to find it.

Your tears kept falling and your throat kept closing, your silent words falling on deaf ears. After a while of silence, you held your head up to face him. His eyes searched yours for some sort of comfort, some kind of sign, something that told him that this was all a mistake.

Your depression had gotten the best of you, which was why you started smoking in the first place. Just to make life a little easier to bear. It prevented you from going out and being social, from being you. The one Azumane cherished and loved so dearly.

"I- No." You stumbled, not knowing where to start. There was so much you wanted to say, but you never knew how. Your throat started to open up again as you breathed, and with that, you tried to explain to him why you were the way you were.

"I was diagnosed with severe depression a couple months ago, and it hasn't been the best. The antidepressants make things worse and I feel like I am outside my body. I've smoked before, and it felt good, so I thought it was the best option. I didn't realize how much it was hurting you." Your tears were falling, but you decided to get everything out, it was now or never.

"It came to the point where I couldn't get out of bed, I would go days at a time without brushing my teeth or showering. I wasn't just depressed, I was suicidal. I didn't want to go through this everyday. I was put on suicide watch twice in a month. I hated everything part of it, and I wanted to see you guys, I thought that would make me feel better, but I realized I never told you guys." You continued to explain as you saw all of their eyes widen at you in horror and guilt.

You hesitated before continuing, "It made me so sad to see suga posting and texting me pictures of your dates' and all the stuff you guys would do and I wasn't able to be there, much less respond. They'd take my phone while I was there and I couldn't get it back until I left."

You coughed and caught your breath, before speaking again, but sawamura stopped you.

"Babe, stop. You don't need to keep explaining. We are so sorry. We never knew you were going through so much, but please, if something like this happens, tell us please." He desperately whispered, his tears falling down his face as he walked over to you. He sat down and gave you a hug, snuggling his face in the crook of your neck, sobbing out apologies.

You felt your heart beating in your stomach, as you ran your fingers through his hair, trying to calm him down. You turned your head over towards asahi, who's mouth was open, but nothing came out.

You shook your head before whispering, "Don't apologize, none of you need to apologize to me. This was my fault. I owe you an apology, asahi." You said before clearing your throat, and resuming.

"My dear asahi, I am so terribly sorry that I kept this from you and led you to this false narrative of myself. I was too lost in my own head to be able to communicate with you about what was going on. I'm so sorry for making you feel invisible or that I didn't love you, I am not using my depression as an excuse, so please don't think I am. I want to be clear when I say this, and I want all three of you to know this: I have never fallen out of love with the three of you, I swear it. I have never thought about it or will in the future." You sniffled as you rambled on but finally concluding your apology.

Azumane and Sawamura looked up at you, their eyes bloodshot and puffy, as they both squeaked out the question, "You promise?"

You replied without a second thought, "Yes, for eternity. I will love all of you until we're old and gray and we look like raisins."

They all chuckled softly, asahi and sugawara coming over to embrace the two of you.

"This has been a lot of back and forth, can we please rest? We can go out for breakfast as an official first date into our renewed relationship." Koshi declared, the two other boys nodding in agreement.

You glanced over at your window, so much time had passed, and the sun was just starting to come up. You looked at your clock, which showed 5:47am.

After staring into the darkness of your room for a couple of minutes, you were brought back by asahi intertwining his hand with yours, but when you looked over, the three boys were all fast asleep, entangled in each other's arms.

After sleeping the day away, you all slowly but surely got up to get ready for your date. You got dressed and freshened up, brushed your teeth all nice and clean. As you looked in the mirror, you couldn't help but stare in shock.

Asahi came up behind you and looked in the mirror with you, a small frown forming on his face.

"What's wrong, my love?" He asked, kissing your cheek.

"Is that me? That's me. Oh my gosh." You sniffled. It had been so long since you actually were excited about dressing up and putting on makeup.

"Yes, darling. It's you and you're so beautiful." He replied, pulling out his phone.

"What're you doing?" You questioned, as you saw him look down at his phone.

"Hm? Oh nothing, just making sure suga and daichi are ready to go. Let's go, shall we?" He asked, holding his hand out.

You smiled, a genuine smile, and he could see your face light up, something it hadn't done in a while, and he just melted seeing how excited you were.

"Daichi? Baby boy, you ready to go?" Azumane called.

"Dai?" He tried again after hearing no response.

"Let me go see what's taking so long." He stated, walking away from you and sugawara.

Daichi was in the bathroom, fixing his shirt collar when he just happened to look into the mirror. Had his face gotten fatter? He looked like he gained a lot of weight. His family was right, he did lose track of himself.

'No, no it's fine. I'm okay, I look fine. But, my face looks so fat and chubby. Who am I kidding? They wouldn't date me! Not like this. Maybe I should just stay-' He was pulled out of his thoughts by Asahi knocking on the door.

"Hey, you okay in there? Do you need any help?" He asked, while walking behind him, his hands sliding down his waist, wrapping around Daichi's hips.

"It's nothing, it's just.. Does this make me look fat? Does my face look chubby? God, I look so ugly, what am I thinking." Daichi muttered, turning his head away in shame.

Asahi's eyes widened, he had never heard Sawamura be so concerned about his looks.

"What? No, babe, you look so handsome. You look perfectly fine. Yeah, your face is a bit chubby, but so is the rest of you, which I love and I wouldn't change one bit." Asahi replied.

"My family was right, I should lose some weight. It doesn't look good." He retorted, dropping his head in regret.

"Baby, listen to me. You said yourself that you prefer being chubby than having an athletic figure. We're going to support you no matter what you want to do. You shouldn't listen to what your family says, they're not always right, ya know?" Asahi responded, cupping Daichi's face in his hands.

Daichi smiled softly, and leaned his head onto Asahi's shoulder. He hummed softly, before standing and kissing Asahi, as a thank you before walking back towards you and Sugawara.

Asahi smiled, and walked over.

"We should take a picture! Something to remember!" Sugawara chimed.

"We all look nice, why not?" You added.

You all went outside and stood in front of your house, the sun shining brightly.

Asahi grabbed his polaroid, and aimed it perfectly.

"Alright, everyone, smile!" He said while hopping into the photo.

The camera clicked and the photo looked perfect. Asahi slipped the photo into his phone case and hopped into the car, along with the three of you, ready to start fresh.

For the first time in a while, you felt good. You felt..happy. You felt like you again, the one that they fell in love with.

They wouldn't have it any other way.

hope you guys enjoy, comment "bee" if you got this far, this was a bit long.

#angst with a happy ending #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu daichi #sugawara koushi #azumane asahi #daisugaasa x reader #:> <3 #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu comfort

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justiceiswater · 11 months ago

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perhaps i needed to shed tears today. who ever knows when those days come for us. today was my day

Cutting Deep

Fandom: Haikyu!! (Post highschool) Pairing: Azumane Asahi x gn!reader Content: hurt/comfort, depression, selfharm, negative mental state, sadness, tears. BE WARNED! A/N: Yeah, couldn’t sleep so decided to write down some thing. Sorry for the bleak subject.

You had been doing well. Coping with graduation, finding a home together with Asahi, a job for yourself, getting him comfortably started on the career path he really dreamed of. All of it.

There had been no time to rest, no time to take care of yourself. Every time, you’d been close to crumbling, one or two days had helped you get juuust a bit further. Hold on just a bit longer.

Asahi knew of your past and the darkness that still laid in wait. He helped you remember to take your meds. He would do everything to ensure your happiness…hence the life, you were building together.

You saw his joy when he came home from work; his satisfaction of having restored yet another room in the little, old house together with you - globs of paint in his hair, a handprint drying on the ass of your jeans.

This meant the world to him…so how could you ever let yourself spoil it?

Keep reading

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heartmaddie · 2 months ago

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dusk 'til dawn ! tsukishima kei , akaashi keiji , azumane asahi , hinata shoyo , ushijima wakatoshi , kiyoomi sakusa incl ; post time-skip , fluff , fem! reader note ; thank u to garfield & the anon who requested this ! synopsis ; a small collection of domestic drabbles including the haikyuu! men

07:21 ! tsukishima kei

the flat was always unreasonably cold in the mornings.

she curled up under the thin linen sheets as she stirred awake, uncomfortable from the freezing gust of wind and rain which had just blown through their window. after she let out a groggy, tired sigh, yn looked to her right, gazing at the restful boy who had a peculiar serenity displayed on his face. a small content smile was found on her lips, he was utterly captivating.

she watched with a tender expression as kei stirred awake, he groaned quietly as he stretched out his tense muscles before rolling over to face her. the rain gently patted against their rooftop as y/n felt his warm arms pull her into his warm chest as he nuzzled his nose into the soft strands of her hair.

“morning..” he mumbled quietly, the exhaustion evident in his voice as he yawned, “what time is it?”

“seven something?” she hummed wearily in response, rubbing her face against his neck and soaking up as much warmth as she possibly could. “need to get ready for work soon..”

he let out a quiet groan out of distaste, holding her even tighter as a silent protest.

“it’s cold, i don’t wanna get out of bed..” tsukishima was always a bit of a sulker in the morning, and yn couldn’t help but chuckle as she looked up at him with an affectionate gaze. “let’s just stay here for a little bit longer, mkay?” he murmured sleepily, pressing a chaste kiss against the skin of her temple.

“hm, fine..” she sighed dramatically, but was secretly overjoyed by his uncommon display of affection.

yn let him shift downwards to rest his golden locks against her chest, her fingers intertwining with each strand. her gaze followed him as his eyes started to shut once again, falling into the temptation of sleep in the comfort of her envelope.

9:53 ! akaashi keiji

“i can always cancel my meeting, i don’t want you to be alone when you’re unwell.” he hummed quietly, voice a blur to her ringing ears. keiji always had nurturing tendencies, but that was amplified to the max when she was sick. he brushed his rough fingertips over the skin of her forehead, moving any hair from her face.

“no, it’s okay,” she was so congested, it was evident on her tongue from every word she’d utter. “you should go to work,” her gaze was ever so soft as she admired his furrowed eyebrows and worried expression, her fingers rested on top of his hand, offering him a sliver of comfort, confirming that she’d be okay alone.

“are you sure?” his forehead creased and she let out a soft giggle as she brought her soft hand to rub the wrinkles away.

“you’ll look old if you keep on frowning like that..” she hummed, lips twisted upwards as she looked up at him.

“you just make me worry.” he huffed as he pressed a soft kiss to her supple cheek, “i’ll bring you home some medicine, make sure to rest up.” keiji rested his forehead against hers, potentially breathing in the bacteria of her illness, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

keiji let out a soft sigh as he slid into the bed next to her. he rested his arms around her waist, bringing her into the warmth of his chest.

“you’ll be late..” her droopy eyes and flushed nose was trained on him, he felt his heart patter a little bit faster as a small amount of blood rushed to his cheeks.

“they’ll live, i’m more concerned about you right now.” his fingers pulled her hair back into a ponytail, settling the loose strands on her shoulder, “i’ll leave once you’re asleep.” he whispered, bringing his lips to her cheek.

she nodded, smiling up at him before resting her eyes and curling against the pillow. akaashi couldn’t help but run his fingers up and down the expanse of her arm, an attempt to lull her to sleep before he carefully slipped out of bed and turned the lights off, offering her a soft kiss before leaving the house.

12:27 ! azumane asahi

days with him were always tender.

she brushed his hair carefully as he worked on some early sketches of potential collections. his thick fingers were dusted with graphite and blisters as they brushed over the paper below him. their apartment was strewn with loose drawings and photographs, it was an organised mess, but somehow still cozy.

“you’d look nice in this piece actually, i’ll size one for you later.” he muses, holding up the thin sheet of paper up for her to see.

“i like the square neckline, what fabric will you use?” she asked curiously, peering down at the paper through blue light glasses. her fingers ran through his velvet-like strands of hair.

“don’t know, silk maybe?” he glanced up at her, eyes impossibly soft as he smiled gently. “what do you think?”

“i’m not the designer here..” she mumbled jokingly, kissing the nape of his neck before slumping down on the couch next to him. “you shouldn’t slouch, why don’t you work at your desk instead of at the coffee table?”

“lighting’s better here.” his eyes were drawn to her, he couldn’t help but reach out for her hand and gently caress her soft fingers, so unlike his. “and besides, that room is miserable, i prefer staying out here with you.” he admitted, taking a sip from the steaming mug.

“clingy,” she leaned her head on his shoulder, watching as he sketched. his face was brightened by the sun shining down on him, and her heart swelled ever so softly as she gazed up at him. “i think i prefer the new conditioner i bought. my hair feels a bit more silky now.”

“yeah, it looks good.” he glances over at her, eyes still impossibly soft before he checked the time, “it’s almost 12:30, should we prepare lunch?”

she nodded in response, taking his hand as he pulled her off the couch and into his embrace, whispering a sweet nothing into her ear before they continued to their kitchen.

15:05 ! hinata shoyo

shoyo was always exhausted after practice, the last thing on his mind was his normal exuberant personality.

he had a serene smile on his face as she applied thick layers of aloe vera gel onto his skin. there was nothing that he enjoyed more than these tranquil, everyday moments with her. the sun would set a lot earlier during the winter, and he was grateful that he’d be able to utilise a couple more hours with her in their shared apartment during the off season.

“you should come watch my practices” he murmured, voice uncharacteristically soft as he brushed his fingers through his orange hair, “can you apply some to my back, it’s a bit itchy still..” he lifted up the back of his shirt, revealing his tan, muscular back.

“maybe next time, yeah?” her free hand ruffled through his messy hair, letting him melt into her arms. she leaned her head on his shoulder, inhaling his musk of seawater and sunshine. he leaned against the headboard of their bed with a groan, tense thighs and calves relaxing after an excruciating day.

he reached out and pulled her into his arms, pressing multiple kisses against her cheeks & neck, ignoring her relentless giggles.

“stop sho- that tickles!” she smiled up at him with her eyes creased, and his heart warmed immensely.

“don’t wanna..” he nuzzled against her neck, letting a huff out as his body relaxed on top of hers. “let me practice something.” he’d beg her for this exact thing everyday without fail.

minutes later, the two of them were situated on the ground, hinata grasping onto three chunks of hair which he eagerly tried to braid with. she hummed gently as they conversed about their day, her head occasionally turning towards his and pressing soft, sweet kisses against his chapped lips, receiving flustered, almost awkward giggles in return.

18:55 ! ushijima wakatoshi

his favourite pastime was watching her get ready for bed.

he found it holistic, almost reverent how she’d change into matching pajamas or how on sundays she’d spend a half hour extra in their bathroom. it was so peculiar to him, he’d never seen something like this before.

but he particularly liked standing behind her, leaning against the wall of their bathroom as she meticulously went through each step of her skincare routine, applying miscellaneous gels and creams onto her face which he couldn’t even bear to fathom. she had a little collection of products which she’d use on the daily, ones he had spent a small fortune on, afterall, but they surely did work. there was a soft glow which radiated from her face after she’d finished her routine, a small aspect of her appearance he’d grown to not just love, but appreciate.

sometimes, if he was lucky that night, she’d even let him massage her exfoliating cleanser for her. he found that the grains felt relaxing on his fingertips, but he found the way she’d look up at him with closed eyes utterly endearing, he couldn’t help but let his heart melt and pulse faster then.

wakatoshi was the epitome of care when it came to her, he wouldn’t dare ruin that half hour she’d set aside for herself every night. but occasionally he’d wrap his arms around her from behind, pressing gentle osculates against her nape as she’d apply her topical creams, he couldn’t help himself.

he’d let out a small smile every time, rubbing his thick fingers into her waist as he watched in awe, he was absolutely infatuated with her. & once she had washed her hands and untied her hair, he was the one to be gracefully pulling her towards the bed and tucking her under the sheets.

21:12 ! kiyoomi sakusa

kiyoomi hated coming home late, but he surely didn’t mind the sight of her wrapped up in their sheets.

the moon shone down on their apartment, the city still bustling as he carefully walked through, not wanting to make a noise. his back was unbearably tense, muscles screaming in agony as he opened the door to their bedroom, almost immediately soothed once he laid eyes upon his partner in a deep state of tranquil in the lonesome of their bed. his heart swelled.

once he’d stripped himself of his sweaty clothes and basked under the warm cascade of their shower, he pulled a black shirt over his head and found a pair of pajama pants to wear, ones which had been the ones to match hers, coincidentally. he brushed his teeth and washed his face, but his heart would beat ever so quicker whenever his eyes would land on her, he found her even more stunning under the moon’s blue light.

before sliding into the bed, he’d gently pressed soft kisses against the skin of her forehead, smiling to himself as he brushed every strand of stray hair away from her face. he was devout when it came to her, with methodical touches was he only able to bring her into his embrace - he was always cold, and she was the only thing able to warm him.

finally, his eyes could close, he was absolutely exhausted. his head nuzzled against her scalp, inhaling the scent of clean, honey fragranced hair. he could rest in this familiarity. with a groan, his arms tightened around her impossibly, but still careful as to not wake her up. sakusa melted into the mattress, letting out tired groans and occasional stirs as he found himself falling asleep.

it still surprised him how easily he could fall asleep now, compared to when he was younger and all alone.

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depravitycentral · 8 months ago

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Yandere! Asahi Azumane NSFW Profile

Yandere! Asahi Azumane x fem! reader

TW: kidnapping, mentions of non-con, light somnophilia, masturbation, panty sniffing, breeding, lactation kink, mentions of pegging, Asahi wears lingerie, size kink but remember that Asahi is very large and it's written with the idea that everyone is smaller than Asahi, one very, very brief mention of reading not eating enough, fem reader, MDNI

I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!

WC: 12K

HABITS:

Before having you in his life, sex was something Asahi wasn’t super comfortable with. Despite coming more out of his shell with the passing years, he’s never truly shaken off his shyness, and so the prospect of casual sex is absolutely not something he’s interested in.

He’s had a girlfriend or two and is thus not a stranger to women’s bodies, but he’s found that he’s simply just not that sexual of a man. Sex just wasn’t important to think about – he gets easily flustered even as a fully grown adult, and while he can handle mature conversations about intimacy, just the thought of being so lewd and bending someone over to have his way with them gets his ears turning red, his knees buckling and his words coming out all slurred and distorted because he can’t think clearly.

It’s embarrassing, if he’s being honest, and so he finds himself simply avoiding sex and, in turn, partners. And this extended into his personal sex life and habits as well – he’s not the most regular in terms of touching himself, preferring to just let the bout of horniness or the occasional incessant boner pass on its own.

He’ll do it occasionally to relieve tension and because he enjoyed how it feels, but it’d only happen a few times a month, if only because the embarrassment was difficult to overlook. After all, how lonely is it to look down and see his own hand wrapped around his cock? Familiar fingers gripping his red, swollen length in the comfort of his own room, the lame background music he’d put on to feel better doing absolutely nothing.

The reality is that Asahi is actually quite lonely before you step into his life – he's not quite smooth and suave enough to be successful with women or even be willing to put himself out there, and the realization that the only way for him to get some sort of sexual relief is via himself makes him too sad to indulge often.

And even once you step into his life, this is still true – except now there’s the addition feeling of yearning, wishing so strongly that it’s your fingers instead of his own (or perhaps your mouth, your breasts, or – god forbid – your pussy) that touching himself becomes even more of an emotional struggle.

And as time passes, Asahi sticks to his typical pattern of seldomly masturbating – but then his feelings grow deeper, his infatuation with you festering more and more, his thoughts about you delicately toeing the line between sweet and only slightly disturbing to downright depraved.

After all, how can he not imagine fucking you in every position he’s ever seen?

How can he not imagine the sight of you perched in his lap, pretty body bare for him to ogle while you scoop your hips up and down, moaning his name and guiding your lips to latch onto a bouncing nipple, your cunt squeezing down on him like a fucking vice?

The embarrassment is still there, of course, as is the shame and loneliness, but his feelings for you are just too strong to ignore, his desperation too insistent to quell. And with every gasping, toe-curling orgasm that wracks his body, Asahi comes closer and closer to deciding that he needs you, that just his hand or his pillow aren’t enough to satisfy him.

No, he needs you – your touch, your body, your pretty, tight, warm walls sucking him in so hard that you never let him go.

As the frequency with which he gets off increases, Asahi finds that he has a particular system for how he pleasures himself - and it involves a secret that he is not proud of.

He’s not especially proud of the fact that he relies exclusively on the (now a bit ragged) pair of panties you’d accidentally left at his apartment in order to get off, but it’s too late to change now. You’d had a rather serious dental procedure, and had turned to Asahi to request that you stay the night at his place to minimize your driving and responsibilities while the anesthesia wore off.

Asahi had of course jumped at the chance, ending the phone call with shaking fingers, a blush covering every inch of his face, and his heart practically beating out of his chest at the prospect of sharing a roof with you for a night just like couples do. And he’d been attentive to your every need; cooking you a warm soup, getting the best sheets he had and letting you sleep in his bed rather than the couch.

(Of course, he still hasn’t washed those sheets after you’d slept in them – if he tries hard enough to thinks he can smell you in the fabric, occasionally finding strands of your hair by his pillow and letting each one sit on the tip of his tongue for just a moment, savoring the taste of you.)

You’d forgotten a pair of underwear in your overnight bag, and while Asahi had meant to tell you, curiosity got the better of him and before he knew it he was picking them up, swallowing thickly, and thumbing at the double-layered section that rubs right up against your folds. It was all too easy to imagine how you must look in them – the mental image of you making a shiver erupt down his spine, needing to lean on his desk for support.

He felt a bit guilty for not returning them, but he couldn’t help it - they were so utterly you, your favorite color and a style he just knows would frame your cute little ass perfectly, your plush thighs and creamy skin sitting on display and practically begging to be kneaded, squeezed at, marked up and bruised with hickeys.

And that night, as he lay in bed and stare at the ceiling, thinking of your face and how he’d quite literally give up his own life just to kiss you once, just to feel your lips pressed snugly against his own, slowly the more risqué thoughts are drifting into his mind.

What would it feel like to have you kiss other parts of his body? How would you taste if he kissed your collarbone, gently suckled on a nipple, licked a long stripe up the puffy lips of your cunt?

How would you react if he were to teasingly kitten lick at your clit, or if he whispered a heated, honest I love you into your ear as he pushed deep inside of you and filled you to fucking brim with his cum?

His mind slowly drifts to more lewd areas, his body growing hot as he imagines you riding him like your life depended on it, bouncing up and down and making your entire body jiggle, your tits bouncing in his face and your voice thin and gasping as you tell him that it’s too much, I can’t Asahi, please, need you to fuck me now…

And soon, he’s deciding that he can’t just ignore the stroke of luck he’d gotten that day, that he’d somehow managed to come by a pair of your panties, something he’s only been able to dream about. And as he locks his door and dims the lights a bit, he’s snatching the pair of panties he’d neatly folded and placed on top of his dresser.

Immediately, he notices the slight fresh stain against the crotch, and his eyes go wide - you had already worn them? They’d already touched the slick, warm place between your legs, the place that gets Asahi salivating and bright red with just a mere thought?

With shaking hands, he timidly brings the cloth up to his nose, inhaling and moaning aloud as the smell he can only describe as you clouds his senses. They’re pungent, proof that you must have had a long day with them adorning your pretty body, and immediately his cock is standing at attention, his tip flushed and oozing precum in copious amounts, his balls occasionally twitching in desperation, practically begging to be touched. He lays the panties down against his face, tilting his head back slightly so that the cloth stays against his nostrils, the smell of you filling every breath his takes.

He gulps, wrapping his fingers around himself, hissing slightly at the pressure and letting his eyes drift closed. He gently squeezes, bringing his hand up to the tip, using his thumb to swirl around his slit for a moment as he brings the material once more up to inhale again.

He groans, the pleasure sending shivers down his spine, and before he knows it his fist is pounding down against his pelvis, long strokes against his rock hard cock as he grunts and lowly moans your name, airy breaths of oh – oh you’re so pretty, I love you – hah, love that pretty pussy of yours.

The pace is purposefully slow, his movements still a bit timid because he’s worried he’ll come too fast, that he’s too pent up, that the smell of you will send him over the edge way too soon.

He doesn’t want this moment to end – the pleasure, the exploration, the feeling of having you the closest he’s ever had. He continues to sniff and whine, absolutely amazed at the wonderful, musky scent of you, fantasies running through his mind about the way you’d react to him touching you, to him sinking his cock inside of you again and again and turning you into a trembling, incoherent mess all for him.

He can’t help himself from imagining what you’d smell like when you’re finally in front of him, a groan slipping from his lips as he imagines the way you’d feel perched on his face, your thighs caging in his head and your fingers raking through his hair as he slurps and sucks and moans against you, desperation lacing his movements because god he wants to make you come.

He can’t help but imagine you taking every inch of him inside that warm little pussy of yours, sucking him in and gripping onto his swollen length so tightly he’s sure you must never want to let go. And his eyes flutter close his lips part slightly, drool pooling in his mouth as he loses himself in the pleasure, the feeling of his hand so much better than normal now that he has something to smell, something that’s so clearly you rather than just his thoughts. His hand picks up a bit, and as his tongue darts out to lick his lips, panties still draped over his face when he stops short, eyes flying open as his hips buck wildly.

Tentatively he sticks his tongue out once more, rolling it against the crotch of your panties. Immediately his eyes are flying open and he’s whining your name, hips bucking up as he runs his tongue along the fabric once more, relishing the taste of you against his tongue.

Curses and whimpers of your name along with yes, o-oh yes yes yes, god feels so – so good fly out of his mouth. Suddenly a particularly hard clench of his abs makes him gasp, the words slurred and nearly incoherent as he moans out ‘m gonna – I can’t hold it in, a-ah oh god ‘m-!

His whole body tenses, every breath he takes smelling like you you you as warm cum spurts up and onto his chest, the t-shirt he’s wearing utterly destroyed as it just keeps coming, rope after rope. He’s moaning your name, eyes squeezed shut as he loses himself in your taste, imagining he’s buried as deeply in you as possible, stuffing you full of his cock that he’s all you can feel, all you can see and hear and taste and think of.

It takes him a few minutes to recover, and once his breathing is steady once more he’s staring at his ceiling, in shock of how good it felt to have your scent and taste, to make it seem just a bit more realistic. He’s careful with your panties as he delicately picks them up off of his face, chest still heaving with the residual pleasure of his orgasm, dutifully and carefully folding up the cloth.

After much debate he ends up slotting the panties neatly under his pillow, swallowing heavily and practically giddy with the knowledge that he’ll be sleeping so close to something of yours, his face mere inches away from you, basically.

And that night, as he lays in bed, he’s breathing in hard, hoping to get even the slightest whiff of you from below his pillow, sleep eventually lulling him into dreaming about you laying in his arms, his cum still leaking out of you.

FAVORITE BODY PARTS:

Your hands

Asahi’s always found himself drawn to your hands. Perhaps because his job requires so much of his hands between sewing, measuring, tailoring, and everything else, or perhaps because he’s simply attracted to them.

Regardless, Asahi quickly discovers that every time he’s with you, he’s always aching to reach out and intertwine his fingers with yours, to feel your palm pressed against his own.

And really, they’re just so small compared to his own rough, calloused hands – so soft and delicate, something he can stare at for hours without growing tired.

He’ll trace every line, every mole and mark, memorizing each and every detail because it all just feels so important. He doesn’t care whether your fingers are long and dainty, shorter and wider, veiny and pale, anything and everything is pure perfection to Asahi, and he’ll be worshipping your hands no matter what condition they’re in.

Even in the early stages of his obsession with you, he’s always been interested in them – the way you idly crack your knuckles, how you mindlessly tap random rhythms against your desk when you’re bored or waiting for something, how you run your fingers over your hair when you’re focusing.

He has a tendency to stare, and while he thinks that you don’t catch him often (you d0, but based upon the fire engine blush on his cheeks and the way his eyes immediately dart away, you figure it’d be kinder to not confront him about it), he’s been fascinated since day one with how they could possibly feel, how soft your fingers would be, the exact lines on your palms, whether they get clammy easily or not.

And once your relationship moves to the point of any sort of affection, Asahi’s preference for your hands will quickly become apparent – he’s trying to hold them at any chance he can get, intertwining his fingers with your own, bringing them up to kiss each knuckle individually, listing off a thing he loves about you for each.

He loves the way they feel against his own calloused palms, how your fingers are so much shorter than his own, how when you hold your palm up against his, you barely reach his last knuckles.

It only furthers his perception of you being so in need of protection, and he loves to feel those hands against him, touching him. He loves the sight of your fingers wrapped around his thick cock, barely able to wrap fully around, such a stark contrast to the hard, pulsing, veiny expanse of his length. He loves the friction as you thrust your hand up and down, biting his lip and knitting his brows together because even though it’s just a simple handjob it feels so much better when it’s your hands and fingers wrapped around him.

He loves how they feel against him when you’re touching him, running them along his front and down below his v line, how it sends shivers down his spine just to have you ghost a fingertip against his sensitive skin.

He likes holding your hand while he fucks you, keeping his grip on you firm as his hips steadily thrust into you, the pleasure slowly mounting. His fingers clench onto your own progressively tighter, until they nearly crush yours as he stares down at you with wide eyes, his lips falling open into a desperate moan of I – coming! while he buries his face in your neck, filling you with spurt after spurt of cum.

He loves the way you scratch his down his back as he hovers over you, the pleasure and pain mixing together while he focuses on holding off his orgasm for as long as possible, not wanting to end the feeling of being inside of you, not wanting to end the way you’re clutching onto him and moaning for him, begging for him and telling him that he feels so good Asahi ‘m gonna come-!

Asahi loves your hands, and at any given time he’ll be touching them in some capacity - whether it be holding your hand, resting his cheeks against your palm or sucking at your fingers while you toy with him and make tears well up in those pretty eyes of his.

He just loves them.

His hair

He’s long harbored fantasies of you playing with his hair, to feel you giving it attention and mindlessly running your fingers through it.

He’s absolutely convinced that it would be the most comfortable, wonderful thing in the world, that it would be the single most amazing experience he’ll ever have, to have your attention solely focused on him, you touching him, maybe even telling him how lovely his hair is, how you’re jealous of how soft and smooth and pretty it is…

Just the thought of you complimenting his hair is enough to have him wildly blushing, his dark eyes staring at the floor in embarrassment and bashfulness, secretly yearning for you to tell him more, to compliment him again and again until he faints from all the blood rushing to his cheeks.

(And, though he’d never tell you, to his cock, too.)

And once you’re trapped with him in your new shared ‘home’, Asahi is still harboring the fantasy, even more so than before – and yet, he will never ask for it, never request for you to play with it, to run your nails against his scalp and gently tug on the roots.

He wont’ ask, if only because it feels wrong to request anything of you after he’s kidnapped you, when you’re so obviously still afraid of him.

So he waits in silence, praying for the day when you mindlessly start playing with his hair – he’ll always position himself so that his hair is accessible if the desire overtakes you, a small flame of hope igniting in him chest and extinguishing out every time you move and don’t come any closer to his head.

(He goes to bed on those nights with a heavy heart, his own tangling into his hair and tugging, your name slipping past his lips.)

But Asahi is a patient man, and once you do start absentmindedly playing with his hair, Asahi is beyond pleased to know that you don’t stop. You seem to grow an affinity for running your fingers through it, for braiding it, styling it, really doing anything at all.

He knows that you enjoy his hair – it becomes his favorite thing in the world to feel you play with it, and he spends hours with you sitting behind him with his head leaning back between your knees, his body starting out stiff because holy shit, he’s so close to you, but eventually relaxing, even falling into a slumber because the feeling is just so calming. He wants you to braid it, mess with it, do anything your heart desires with it because he loves the attention and the relaxing feeling it brings.

But of course, he also loves his locks for other, less wholesome reasons - the way you tug at it when he’s got his face buried between your legs, for example, and how your grip tightens against his scalp as you get closer and closer to release.

Sometimes you synch your cries with the tugs, something that Asahi is sure you’re unaware of, but he can’t help the way he forces himself to work harder, to focus more in order to get you off, in order make you have the most Earth shattering orgasm, the best feeling you’ve ever experienced, and with each hair tug he only becomes more determined.

He loves the way you get rough with it, the slight tinge of pain that accompanies it, and it never fails to make him groan, to sigh out your name against your cunt.

(Sometimes, when he’s in the mood but you physically aren’t in a position to touch his hair, he’ll reach up and tug at the strands himself, imagining your fingers instead of his own. It gets him whimpering, desperation for you so thick that he can nearly taste it, but Asahi just can’t help it. It’s an obsession in and of its own right, and he can’t deny how much he loves it.)

DRIVE:

Asahi’s drive is really quite average – he’s not an incessantly horny man by any means, and while he does have the occasional passing fantasy or wet dream, he’d never categorize himself as a hormone-driven man. He doesn’t watch porn, doesn’t follow any social media influencers whose content borders on the edge of distasteful, and he sometimes even fastforwards through sex scenes in movies simply because he finds it uncomfortable to watch two people having sex – even if it’s fake.

And so Asahi finds himself mostly avoiding intimacy on that level, though it’s not entirely on purpose. He’s by no means a saint, though; he’s still human, and when he sees a woman with particularly large breasts or perfectly manicured fingers there’s always the fleeting thought of what if, the fantasies clawing in the back of his mind of how he’d love to latch onto a nipple and suck, to imagine how much better those fingers would look wrapped around his cock or cupping at his balls.

He rarely touches himself, sure, but he’s not a stranger to sex, his limited experience still experience nonetheless.

And so while it’s very, very easy to fluster or rile him up, he generally isn’t hard and desperate to fuck you at all times. He values you for much more than just your pussy – you’re his dream woman, the person he views as his life-long partner, the one he wants to spend every waking moment with and share every last breath. He’s content to just hold you, to press a soft kiss against your temple and whisper a little confession of love rather than pin you down and fuck you until you’re crying.

(Of course, he won’t say no if you were to beg him to touch you, his face only turning red and his voice cracking a bit as he rushes out a quick yes! Um, yes of course, I’ll uh, be right back… and then leaving the room to take a few deep breaths and whisper to himself that it will be fine, she wants you, you’ll do well, don’t overthink it.)

Asahi is very dependent on what you want, always concerned about your opinion and vote and desires, and so while there are times that those wild hormones do in fact take over and his body starts begging him to slip down that cute pair of panties he bought for you and sit you directly on his cock, to bounce you up and down and use you like some life sized sex toy, watching as your breasts jiggle and your face contorts up into that sexy, perfect little ‘o’, Asahi won’t until you make the move to do so.

(It’s out of respect and lucidity for your consent and state of mind. He already feels guilty enough from having stalked you and stolen you away to live in his modest apartment with him, and forcing himself onto you is absolutely the last thing he wants to do.)

He’s not constantly horny, but it doesn’t take too much to rile him up. A few suggestive words and lingering touches can have him needy and eager to touch and please you in mere seconds – casually tell him over dinner that you feel so empty, Asahi, won’t you come fill me up and watch the way his entire body stiffens, brown eyes meeting your gaze and immediately looking at the table in embarrassment, his face flushed a bright red and his knee bouncing under the table as he mutters out a are – are you sure? I don’t want to leave you hungry – not that you haven’t eaten enough! That’s not what I’m saying, I just – um, I uh… Do you really want that?

(His voice gets a bit vulnerable at the end there, his tone higher and his eyes daring to meet yours again, his mousy brown hair falling around his jaw like a halo.)

Leave a hand on his bicep and gently squeeze, biting your lip and making a show of raking your gaze up and down his body and you’ll see the way he gulps, the sound audible as he shudders a breath, his pants already growing tight and nudging against you.

(You can actually feel the warmth of him through his jeans when he does this – cock warm and ready and throbbing.)

For him, your pleasure is the number one priority, and as such it’s his duty to prioritize what you want when you want it, rather than his own desires. You should be in charge, should be the one calling the shots and telling him that you’re okay with him fucking you like he so desperately wants. You should be the one to tell him that it’s okay each time he nervously and compulsively asks you if it’s okay for him to kiss you or touch your waist or unclasp your bra or moan your name or come -

And even once you’re both naked and touching one another, he views his own orgasms as a background to yours. He mostly just wants you to feel good, and he’s pretty much at your beck and call for whenever you’d like to feel the euphoric high that only an orgasm can bring you, in whatever way you’d like him to get you there. He’s game to finger you, to eat you out, to fuck your cute little pussy that makes him moan and whine every time, even your ass if you bring it up.

Asahi never fails to deliver, and he’ll never, ever complain. He loves to touch you and get you moaning, even if he’s a bit shy and flustered the whole time. It makes him so, so happy to know that he’s the one touching you, that he’s the one making you feel so good and satisfied.

But before you begin feeling any desire to be with him in an intimate setting, Asahi still has urges. He still very, very badly wants to touch you and feel you against his skin, to trace out the map of your body and chart every mole, hair, blemish and roll.

You’re just so fucking perfect to him, and he can’t help but desire you physically when he sees the way your breasts bounce as you try to reach the top shelf in the kitchen (he’s more than happy to come to your rescue and grab the jar off the top shelf, secretly smitten with himself because he’d put it there with the hopes of creating this moment).

He can’t help but want to taste your saliva when he sees you sweating on a particularly hot day, the bead rolling down your temple and following the curve of your cheekbones, his tongue coming out to lick a long stripe along his lips because fuck, he bets you taste sweet.

These urges are still present and strong, but because of his commitment to not force you into anything, Asahi finds that he has to satisfy himself in other ways. That is, it doesn’t necessarily feel good to sneak into the extra bedroom he’d transformed into your personal room, but as soon as he catches a whiff of your scent and sees your sleeping, relaxed form on the mattress, his mouth goes dry and he’s shuffling forward before he even realizes it.

You’re sprawled out on the mattress he’d bought especially for you, the soft t-shirt and short set he'd gotten you sitting haphazardly on your hips and riding up to expose a bit of your stomach. It makes him gulp, his eyebrows drawing in a bit as he slowly, carefully, sits down onto the empty space beside you on the bed.

He can’t stop staring at you – you’re so pretty, and as your lips part slightly and you breath, he can’t help but whimper slightly – he can only imagine how it would feel to kiss you, to feel your lips against his own and feel your tongue brush against his.

Would you bite his lip, tease him with a bit of pain before kissing him harder, pushing your tongue inside and moaning into his mouth because it just feels too good? He hopes so, and it’s not long before he’s imagining all of the other things that mouth of yours could do – he’s sure your kisses would feel like heaven against his chest, lips wrapped around a nipple and sucking lightly, tongue flattening out to run over the pebbled skin again and again and making him shiver.

He’s sure that your lips would feel even better lower, pressed against the juncture of his hip and thigh, moving up and to the side, slowly – so fucking slowly – moving towards where he really needs you, where he’s pulsing and throbbing and leaking so much precum that it almost looks like he’s already reached his high.

He closes his eyes briefly as he imagines the way you’d suckle on his tip, your pretty lips puckered and those eyes of yours staring up at him from between his knees, how you’d pull back to press small kisses and kitten licks against his sensitive skin.

The thought has him groaning lightly, a hand coming down to carefully push his boxers down just a hair, just enough to let his cock spring free, slapping heavily against his lower stomach as he bites his lip. He makes sure to settle the waistband just below his balls, a hand idly moving to grope and squeeze as he continues to stare at you. It feels wrong to be touching himself while so close to you, while you’re totally unaware, but he just can’t help it – he’d been furiously pounding away moments ago in his own bed, eyes squeezed shut and flashes of you playing through his mind, but the knowledge eats at him that you’re only a wall away, your pretty body ripe to ogle and fantasize about and right fucking there…

Guilt weighs heavily in the back of his mind, but as he wraps his fist around his base and slowly pulls up, the heaving breath he lets out has the shame creeping to the back of his mind. It’s so much better with you in his sight – he watches the rise and fall of your chest, your breaths and soft and light, matching the pace of his fist with it.

His toes curl and his lip catches between his teeth, the dull, teasing pleasure from such a slow pace making his head tilt back. He stays like this for what feels like hours – his eyes never moving from your sleeping form, his pace matched to your breathing, just simply breathing in deeply and letting his eyes flutter closed as he exhales, the scent of you you you filling his lungs and making him feel dizzy.

Some forty minutes later, Asahi’s breath is hitching, little whimpers and bitten back moans filling the otherwise quiet air, his fist slowly speeding up out of his control, his orgasm slowly building and mounting, his cock so sensitive and hard and wet –

He comes with a strangled, too-loud I love you, his eyes struggling to stay open as he strokes his way through it, his hips bucking up into his fist and cum landing in ropes along his fingers and wrist. Fuck fuck fuck fuck, he’s chanting under his breath, his breathing uneven and labored as he tries his best to be quiet, terrified to wake you up.

You’re still so ethereal in front of him, looking like an angel as he slows his fist to a stop, his entire body trembling at the aftereffects of his orgasm. He swallows heavily, shaking fingers stained with cum reaching out and nearly, barely brushing against the soft skin of your forearm, clenching his teeth tightly at the contact as it sends one last, final push of pleasure through him, a few final beads of cum oozing from his tip and making him whimper your name.

He doesn’t touch you any more than that, scared to wake you up or cross some invisible line of privacy and consent, but thus starts a pattern. He’ll sneak into your room every week or so, spending far too long simply staring at you, moving to every angle imaginable just to see you, to see all of you, all the while furiously pumping his fist, doing his best to bite back every moan because god, what would you say if you saw him?

(He hopes you wouldn’t stop him, that you’d instead berate him for being so dirty, that you’d reach out and stop his wrist, telling him in that lovely, sweet voice of yours to earn it, Asahi, show me that you deserve to come. And god, the fervor and desperation in his movements as he’d lick and suck between your legs is too good to be embarrassing.)

MAIN THREE KINKS:

Praise

As a general rule, Asahi absolutely crumbles the moment any sort of positive comment towards him falls from your lips. He’s never been the most confident man on the face of the planet, and while time and a successful career have helped mitigate that a bit, he’s still a bit doubtful about himself, always just slightly insecure and unable to believe in himself.

And for the most part he doesn’t mind, but he always, always appreciates your support in the area of his lacking – declrataion of you being happy or grateful or pleased with him leave Asahi’s throat feeling tight and his palms clammy. But specifically, Asahi has little to no confidence in himself in the bedroom – and to hear you say anything even remotely positive about his skills in bed gets him hot under the collar, the desire to please you making his fingers itch and his pants feel much too tight.

His lack of confidence between the sheets stems from the belief that he’s sure that he won’t be able to satisfy you, that his touch and love won’t be enough to get you off, that you’ll end up just using your own fingers because he just wasn’t good enough.

He’s convinced that you’ll grow to prefer your own touches and ministrations over his own, that you’ll simply sigh and roll your eyes when he asks you in that timid voice if you’d sit on his face, if you’d let him play with you, if you could just please let him taste you, he’s been thinking about it all day…

It’s never ending cycle of negative thoughts and assumptions, always absolutely sure that things will go the worst possible way once he becomes intimate with you, and honestly you’ll quickly pick up on this.

When he’s hovering over you, brown eyes staring wildly down at you, impossibly wide while his mouth opens and closes like a fish, unsure of what to say or do because you’re finally right in front of him, like he’s been dreaming of for months, you’ll notice the way he’s too stiff to move, his every muscle tense and his eyebrows knitted together so tightly that he almost looks like he’s in pain.

(A few soothing words will have him instantly relaxing, though – run your hands up and down his arms, cooing at him that he’s so handsome, that he looks so good over me Asahi, you’re so pretty, and maybe tell him that you’re so excited, you’ve already made me feel so good baby, and you haven’t even touched me yet and you’ll see the way he visibly perks up, embarrassment written across his face but this sort of shy, boyish joy taking over as he leans down and kisses you. The kiss is too sloppy, too needy, too wet, but it’s the push he needs to finally press himself against you, your slick folds against the sensitive underside of his cock making him hiss into the kiss and his arms nearly give out.)

He’s too nervous to try fingering you or eating you out the first time he’s got you naked in front of him, but he also knows that you need prep before you take him, his girth enough to stretch your walls out to a painful degree if you don’t get some aid.

(Take the initiative and guide his fingers down your body, going slow and making all sorts of keening and sighing noises, until he’s finally pressed up against you. Tell him that his fingers feel good when you’re helping him rub slow circles over your clit. Overdo your hips bucking at the sensation just to give him that extra assurance that he’s doing a good job. Gasp his name as he slips a finger inside and purposefully clench down on him, letting him hear you babble on about how he feels so good and he’s so big and he’s exactly what I’ve been imagining… You’ll see the determined purse of his lips, every ounce of concentration going into making you cry out his name, making you squeal out more praise, getting you to gush on his fingers and tongue and give him what he’s been dreaming of for months – the sight of your pretty body convulsing up in an orgasm, your cunt spasming and clenching down on him like a fucking vice.)

Towards the beginning of your sexual relationship you’ll find that more often than not he’s at a standstill, something that is more than obvious to you, and in moments like these it’s best if you just tell him what to do. When you take off your bra, breasts bared for him as he unabashedly stares, his lips parted and his eyes wide, guide his hand to squeeze at one, sighing at the sensation and telling him that it feels good baby, you can go a little harder if you want, too.

When he’s carefully (and almost tentatively) rubbing your back, giving you a massage and doing his best to relieve your back pain without hurting you, moan out his name and tell him right there, god Asahi you’re so good at this. It’ll leave him blushing and squirming, his cock growing hard and suddenly he’s hearing your moans as moans, seeing the pleased expressions on your face as being expressions of pleasure.

You need to follow his every action up with a bit of praise the first few times you fuck – when he slips a finger or two inside, bite your lip and make a show of gasping, telling him that he feels so good, please Asahi, just like that!

When he’s going down on you for the first time, tangle your fingers through his hair and tell him that he’s doing so well, it feels so – so good Asahi, mmm please don’t stop! And when he fucks you for the first time, gasp sharply and moan, tell him that he’s s-s0 big! Stretches me out so good, ngh –

(Asahi has always seemed gentle to you, even after having kidnapped you – tall, sure, but more afraid of his own shadow than anything. But once you moan that out, that gentle man you’re familiar with is gone – you realize just how strong he really is as his hips crash into yours, your cunt stretched and nearly split open with the sheer power and vigor of his thrusts, each one seeming to reach deeper inside of you, coming faster and faster until your moans at all forced, genuine incoherent nonsense slipping from your lips because god, you’ve never been fucked like this before – this fully, this desperately.)

He loves to know that he’s the one making you feel so good, making you cry out and curl your toes. When you say things like ‘so good Asahi’, or ‘yes, just like that’, he’ll become a blushing, flustered mess, but it’ll only drive him even further in his mission to please you, to get you to come.

After all, in his mind, your pleasure is so much more important than his own, and he’ll give you anything and everything he possibly can to get your eyes rolling to the back of your head and your pussy clamping down around him.

His actions will pick up speed and eagerness, and if you weren’t so fucked out while he’s got his tongue against your clit or his cock stretching you out, you’d be able to practically feel the desperation to get you to orgasm rolling off of him in waves.

He just wants to know that what he’s doing is feeling good, that you’re enjoying him, that you’re loving this wonderful intimate moment as much as he is. He loves your vocalness, and it helps his confidence to hear you so openly praising him and his body.

So tell him, while he’s hovering over you, his cheeks flushed, his hair falling in waves over his shoulders and a few beads of sweat rolling down his temples, how big he feels inside of you, how you’re sure that nobody could fuck you like Asahi can, and he’ll make the cutest little gasp, before he’s thrusting into you even harder, burying his face into your neck and chanting your name over and over.

He loves it.

Breeding

But unlike a lot of men, this kink doesn’t stem exclusively from a sense of possessiveness or ownership over you. (Of course, he very much is possessive over you and hates the idea of another man interacting with you, but still.)

Instead, Asahi’s fascination with the concept of breeding you mostly stems from a genuine desire to knock you up. Asahi craves a domestic life with you; the mere idea of being one big, happy family is something that makes his heart melt, that makes him giddy with excitement and an embarrassed flush spread across the bridge of his nose. There’s so many cute, wholesome things that Asahi wants to do with his future children; family pictures, reading to them before bed, dressing them up in his latest fashion designs, making them go eww! when they see Mommy and Daddy kissing…

And when you step into the picture, this natural desire for children only steps up, increasing astronomically because Asahi genuinely believes that you’re his soulmate, the woman he’ll spend the rest of his life with, and he couldn’t be happier.

And while he’d never force it upon you, he really loves the idea of getting you pregnant and giving you the family that you both deserve. He wants to give you the baby he so desperately wants you to have, to see you softly rubbing your tummy and smiling at him, showing the world exactly who you love, who you choose to be with, who you’ll be spending the rest of your life loving and loyally staying alongside. He thinks he’d be a good father, in his oh so humble opinion, and that he’s completely, absolutely sure that you’d be a wonderful mother, and that together the two of you could have a happy, perfect family.

But of course, Asahi is no pure angel saint – he may not be the most possessive over you, but he can’t deny the wonderful side effects that come with pinning you down and breeding you. That is, there’s something about the fact that it’s his cock emptying load after load inside of you that gets him harder than he’s ever been in his life.

There’s something about the fact that it’s his name you’re moaning out to finish inside of you that makes him hot under the collar, his fingers twitching and his thighs flexing involuntarily because god, you’d sound so fucking good moaning his name.

The idea that it’s because of him that the cute little bump throwing your body off proportion even exists makes him feral, hands eagerly ripping at your clothes and slotting you in his lap, grasping at your hips and physically bouncing you up and down on his cock until he’s groaning your name and stuffing you full again and again and again, leaving you dripping white and smelling his cum, like him.

He’s not the most possessive yandere, sure, but even Asahi can get behind the idea of marking you as his own, of claiming you in the most natural, animalistic way. It satisfies something deep within him – the same thing that urges him to rush forward and keep you from getting too close to the open flames on the stove, the same thing that urges him to buy the pretty flowers on his way home from work and tuck one behind your ear. He’s never given much stock to gender stereotypes, but it just feels right to have you be his sweet little housewife, to be your big, strong protector, to be your provider in more ways than one.

And while bringing you gifts and keeping a roof over your head and warm food in your stomach are certainly ways he loves to provide for you, he’s more than willing to provide for your more carnal needs, too.

He’s more than happy to fill you to the brim with his cum, the sticky white dribbling out of you in big globs that he pressed back in with a thumb, voice shaky as he jokes about having to buy some sort of a plug just to keep everything inside.

(The next morning you find a pretty, purple plug on your bedside table, Asahi looking sheepish as he tells you that it’s the only way to really be sure, you know? Can’t have you wasting anything…)

He’s more than happy to keep his cock inside of you after he’s come, to make sure you’re plugged up, to keep you laying so that you’re hips are elevated, so that his cum will surely reach your womb, so that your body will have no choice but to give him exactly what he wants.

And during sex, the thoughts racing through Asahi’s head absolutely reinfornce this – as his high approaches, there’s a mantra repeating over and over in his head to come inside her, fuck a baby into her, get her pregnant so she’ll never leave you.

His hips will speed up, the sound absolutely obsene as he throws your legs over his shoulders, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he watches your tits bounce with the force of his thrusts, the mental image of you swollen and round and so fucking fertile leaving his head spinning and oh fuck fuck fuck –

He’s coming with a whine of your name, burying his face into your neck and grasping tightly onto your breast, chanting your name under his breath and pressing himself just a bit deeper inside, anything to try and increase the chances of it taking.

The idea of knocking you up clouds his senses as his hips plow into you, the sensation so overwhelming that he’s nearly crying, but fat tears welling up and streaming down his face to land on your own while he clutches onto your hand, the emotional end of realizing that he might get you pregnant hitting him at full speed and making him dizzy with desire and love.

He’ll oftentimes whisper sweet nothings about how beautiful you’ll look, how much he wants to give you children, how deeply he wants to come inside while his hips are pounding away, practically ramming into your cervix with each powerful, passionate thrust.

He loves the idea of having a baby with you, and it’s just an added bonus that giving it to you feels so good.

Size kink

No matter your size, Asahi will be taller, stronger, bigger.

He’s six feet tall, muscular, and despite his timid disposition, he’s very much a force to be reckoned with. Despite transitioning to a career less focused on physical prowess, Asahi largely retained his physique.

He’s a little softer now, the muscles covered by a small layer of fat, but he’s still got definition lining every inch of his body, the short-sleeved t-shirts he wears doing very little to hide the outline of his biceps. When his shirt rides up as he pulls his hair back into its signature bun, it’s impossible to miss the way he seems to tower over everything and everything, his presence something commanding the room, making everyone else just feel so small.

And while none of it is on purpose, Asahi slowly notices with time just how pronounced this difference is.

He sees it in the way that your palms compare as he timidly snake his hand against yours, swallowing heavily and avoiding eye contact because god, not only are your hands soft and warm, they’re practically engulfed by his, the sight making something scratch at the back of his throat.

He sees it in the way that your arms just barely wrap around his torso when you hug him, your fingers lacing together. (Of course, this took him a very long time to notice – he was too flustered by the fact that you’re hugging him to really notice any details, and even then he’d been too preoccupied by the feeling of your clothed breasts pressing against his chest, willing everything in himself to not get hard, to not let the blood rush to his cock as he imagines the way your legs would feel wrapped around his waist.)

As time passes, Asahi discovers that not only is he noticing these things, but there’s something about the sight that gets him hot under the collar, his breathing more strained than usual and his voice coming out a bit crackly.

And really, this kink stems from his protectiveness of you and his need to feel like your savior, but there’s just something about having you underneath him, seeing how small your body is in comparison to his own that really gets to him.

The idea of you being a fraction of his size, of your body being so much cuter, tinier, and softer than his own is something that makes Asahi blush, the red spreading from the tips of his ears all the way down to his collarbone, the idea that you’re such opposites yet so perfect for one another simultaneously warming his heart and begging him to fuck you because he just loves you so much.

And while your size difference is something that Asahi has always rationally known about, it’s so much different to actually see it, to be physically forced to recognize that he’s just so big compared to you.

When you’re naked below him, looking up at him with those vulnerable, beautiful eyes while you clutch the pillow underneath your head and shakily swallow, Asahi is hit with the sudden realization that you so clearly need him, need his help to do everything, and that includes turning you into a panting, drooling mess with his fingers, tongue and cock.

He loves the foreign surge of dominance he feels, how powerful and manly it makes him feel to see you under him, looking up at him like that, your lips swollen and puffy from kissing and biting them, from enjoying the pleasure he’s so focused on delivering to you.

He loves watching you take his cock; how it stretches you out to the point where you’re tensed up, fisting the sheets and telling him to slow down because you need time to adjust to his massive length.

(Of course, Asahi immediately stops, panic eating away at him because what if he hurt you? There’s not a sadistic bone in his body, and when you have to tell him things like that it only reminds him how easily he gets lost in you, how quickly he succumbs to the carnal urge to just fuck you so hard that you’re screaming his name and showing everyone exactly who owns the tight little pussy he’s fucking and filling with his cum.)

He loves to intertwine his fingers with yours while he thrusts into you, marveling at how his fingers dwarf your own while his cock stretches you out so fully, so completely that it’s almost visible against the skin of your navel.

He’ll purposefully fuck you in positions that really showcase this difference in size, too – of course his favorite is missionary, getting to look at you while he slowly rolls his hips into yours, but there’s something exquisite about folding you into a mating press, too. The way he’s strong enough to practically force your ankles up to your ears, his entire body hovering over yours as he pounds into you, watching the way you seize up because the angle is just so fucking deep.

It’s not his favorite, but he’ll fuck you from behind, the position slowly morphing from doggy into prone bone as he becomes more and more desperate for you, soon laying almost completely on top of you while his hips stutter into yours, the sensation of warm cum flooding you and the feeling of Asahi in every inch of your space making your head spin.

Even non-penetrative positions have this effect on him – watching you settle between his legs and eagerly jerk him off gets him clutching onto the nearest surface, the sight of your fingers, so small and sweet and pretty compared to his own, making his knees feel weak because fuck you’re so delicate compared to him.

And god, your mouth? It’s over for him the moment that your lips wrap around his tip, the sight of a much-too-big cock forcing its way down your throat threatening to bring him to orgasm much, much too soon.

Every part of him is bigger, and he just loves how obvious his muscles and height make it that he’s the protector in the relationship, that he’s the one providing for you, keeping you safe, keeping you happy.

Because after all, he’d do anything to keep you happy.

OTHER NOTABLE KINKS INCLUDE:

Hair pulling

Quite honestly, Asahi’s not sure where this kink came from. His scalp has always been a bit sensitive, his hair silky and in remarkably good shape for little he brushes it, for how poorly he cares for it. And while he’s kept it long for all of his adult life, he’s still just the slightest bit insecure about being a man with long hair – the lingering stares of others making him slump his shoulders a bit, wishing they’d stop staring.

And so, he’s never really viewed his hair as something sexual – no girl has ever really pulled it, and on the rare occasions when he’s touched himself, a hand never manages to travel north of his chest.

And even on the more practical side of things, he’s never really been one for pain, for enjoying the stinging sensation of sharpness against his skin, of feeling the dull throb of a bruise being pressed on. He’s never really found it to be sexy, and by extension he’s never bothered to explore hair pulling.

But then he becomes intimate with you and as he’s kissing you, tongue tracing the shape of your teeth and moaning into your mouth he feels it –

Your nails scraping against his scalp, digging in and grabbing a fistful of hair, pulling and tugging.

He actually moans, the sound high and whiny and so girly it nearly makes him cry, but he can’t help but beg you to do it again, a hand coming up to secure your place against his scalp.

There’s just something about the your fingers tunnel into his hair, gripping the brown locks between your nimble fingers while his tongue works fast, desperate circles against your clit, his fingers curling and arching just the way you told him to. Every tug at his hair drives him to work harder, to suck harder and lick faster because he just wants to please you, and the way you’re mixing pain with pleasure is making his hips buck against the mattress, unable to control himself as he whines against your cunt.

When your nails lightly scrape against his scalp, Asahi can’t help but close his eyes and moan, the vibrations going straight up your spine as he doubles his efforts, wanting to get you to come to an almost unhealthy degree.

And yet, as your hands pull harder, coaxing him into fingerfucking you harder, moving in the specific motion against your clit he knows you love, all you can do is throw your hair back and moan, little gasps of oh Asahi, oh please – I’m so close, don’t stop!

There’s something about the light touch of pain that makes him shiver, that makes the excitement stand up at the back of his neck, his eyes growing dilated and his efforts even more vigorous because fuck, you deserve to come, and by god is Asahi going to be the man to do it.

It’s become a staple of him giving you head – you always burrow your fingers into the loose, flowing brown locks, pulling him ever closer to your sopping cunt, something Asahi couldn’t be happier about.

And if you really want to leave him a flustered, panting mess, lightly tug at his hair without any warning in a non-sexual context – reach over during breakfast and give a light tug and you’ll see in real time as his face turns red, gaping like a fish and letting a hand drop his fork and wander down to his crotch, the table covering his motions. (Though the sound of a zipper slowly undoing is hardly difficult to identify, nor is the way the slick, clicking noises echo through the room as he shakily tells you to f-finish your breakfast…)

Lingerie

Perhaps it’s a result of his heightened attention paid to fashion, or perhaps it’s just Asahi’s nature, but as his infatuation with you develops, so too does his desire to see you all dressed up for him.

He doesn’t view you as a doll, per se, but Asahi finds that one of his guiltiest pleasures is to put you in clothing he designs specifically for you – pretty colors and cuts he thinks accentuate your curves, always sucking in a sharp breath and muttering out this awed, overtly genuine wow that makes you too embarrassed to respond.

And it’s sweet, more than anything, because the dresses and outfits he creates for you really are flattering – except that as your sexual relationship develops, he starts taking certain liberties, his creations becoming more and more risqué.

The lingerie he designs for you is tasteful, at least – it’s flattering as well, always in shades of pinks, reds, and white to enhance your natural coloring, his fingers always trembling when he helps you put them on, catching a bit of lace between his thumb and index finger and sighing out your name in a tone much too airy to be normal.

You look absolutely stunning – and he finds that fucking you with the lingerie still decorating your body only makes his kisses more heartfelt, longer, more needy because you’re just so damn pretty all dressed up and practically wrapped up like a gift for him.

But really, where’s Asahi’s true lingerie kink lies is not in you wearing it, but rather in him wearing it.

It’s beyond embarrassing to him and something that would take a long time for him to admit, but there’s a certain part of him that would actually like to try on a few of the lingerie sets he sees in magazines, tv and social media. Some of them are just so fucking pretty, soft pastels with lots of lace and ruffles, things that scream feminine and soft, pretty and fuckable.

And while Asahi knows he’s supposed to be the ‘man’ in the relationship, it’s a guilty pleasure that he just can’t shake – and so, when you one day catch him staring at an ad for a brand new baby blue two piece set on his phone, you ask him if he’s going to get it, cocking a brow at him because it’s rare for him to ever buy you lingerie sets rather than make them himself.

(He’d told you once that he can fit them to your body better than any manufacturer can. And what he hadn’t told you is that there’s a certain allure to knowing that you’re wearing something that he made you, not some unknown, random worker with no appreciation for you or your beauty.)

Immediately Asahi is scrambling to cover it up, nervously chuckling and denying your words, but when it shows up the next day and Asahi mumbles if you’d be willing to um, give me an opinion about something, you’re intrigued. And as you open the door to reveal him, familiar brown eyes are unable to meet your own gaze, his body language clearly nervous at your scrutiny.

But really, the sight of the six foot tall, burly man clad in the soft material hugging his body and bringing out the natural tan color of his skin leaves you oddly breathless, the sight strangely bizarre and erotic.

The bra cups are a bit loose, though you can still see his pretty, pink nipples hard as a rock underneath the sheer material. The bra may be loose, but the pair of lacy, red panties most certainly are not – his cock threatens to burst out of it at any moment, his balls hanging on by a thread to stay inside of the dainty fabric.

And when you take a few steps forward, looking at him with wide eyes, he feels his heart drop when you say oh Asahi, you’re so beautiful.

(If you look closely enough, you can see his balls visibly clench at the compliment, the skin angry and red at the tightness of the panties.)

So while it’s not the manliest thing, Asahi can’t deny that it makes him feel good, and you’re always so touchy and sweet when he’s wearing it.

And so when he’s in more of a submissive mood, wanting you to take care of him, dote on him, love him and show him that you’re just as desperate and hopelessly in love as he is, he throws it on and sits patiently on the bed, waiting with baited breath for you to pull the strap out and make him feel like a good little boy.

(And god his moans are pretty, his little gasps and whines when you toy with the fabric making you power-hungry, the sight of his cute little hole clenching as you toy with him, bent over and panties pushed to the side is the stuff of fantasies – he’s just so fucking obedient when he’s all dressed up for you.)

BIGGEST FANTASY:

Going hand in hand with his breeding kink and his want of starting a family with you, Asahi has a few guilty pleasures when it comes to the idea of a pregnant you.

He just can’t help it – his biggest domestic fantasy is having a family with you, and every time he sees a pregnant woman out and about something inside of him just snaps, the flood of images of you all knocked up making his knees nearly buckle.

(Of course, in these images you’re sometimes clothes and sometimes not – the clothes, when included, are always too small, making your breasts look even bigger and your stomach ever rounder.)

Something about the roundness of your body, how your curves are enhanced, how you look so fucking fertile really gets to him, especially with how your breasts begin to swell.

Something about watching as your nipples begin to darken, your areolas get larger, and the way the flesh begins to hang heavier, looking so full and ready to be emptied really gets to him, sparking some odd, primal instinct in him that he didn’t even know he had.

He’s staring constantly, brown eyes darting to the way his t-shirts are stretched taut against your belly bump and engorged breasts, how you look so perfect and domestic and like a real mother.

He’ll be much too shy to say anything, too nervous at your rejection of the fantasy he holds close to his heart, but he really wants nothing more than to just latch onto a leaking, aching nipple, wrap his lights tightly around it, circle his tongue over the sensitive skin, and suck.

He wants to taste you; feel the white liquid against his tongue, nurse off of you in such a human, natural way.

He almost feels as if it’s his reward - he put the baby inside of you that’s causing you to produce, he’s the one heading to work everyday, making money to bring back to you and your slowly growing family.

He’s the one that spent hours between your legs, fingering your pretty cunt and giving you load after load after load of hot, potent cum.

He’s your protector, and it’s his deepest fantasy to be rewarded for all his hard work with your breastmilk. He’ll never, ever admit it, but when he fondles your breasts and nibbles at them, sucking at them with a vigor you’ve never experienced before, those are the thoughts racing through his mind.

“I’m home!” Asahi calls, closing the front door and letting out a small, satisfied sigh at the sight of his little home. Touches of your style are everywhere - the couch has your favorite color throw pillows, your favorite art is on the walls, pictures of the two of you hanging in frames on the shelf above the fireplace on the far side of the living room. It makes him smile, something warm and fuzzy settling in his chest.

He slips his shoes off, shrugging off his coat and venturing further into the house. Normally you’d be in the kitchen by now, preparing dinner and wanting to have a nice meal while the two of you discussed your days, telling one another how much you missed the other. When he doesn’t find you in the kitchen, his brow arches and he calls your name once more, a small pang of panic bolting through him at the thought of you not responding.

“Oh! You’re home!” He hears you exclaim from behind him, and heaves out a small sigh of relief. He turns around with a soft smile on his face, but that smile vanishes as soon as he takes in your appearance.

You’re wearing one of his old tee shirts, the material a bit light and comfortable, and a pair of your favorite panties peeking out from under the hem. You look so fucking pretty that it takes him a moment to register your words, brown eyes dilating and focusing on the sight of you in his shirt, the smooth expanse of your thighs, the smile on your face that gets his knees weak. But as he takes in the full sight of you, something else catches his eye – immediately saliva is pooling against his tongue, his fingers twitching and his tongue flicking out to lick over his lips.

Two small, uneven pools of wet form right over the swell of your breasts, staining the fabric a darker shade and making his mouth water slightly. The sight of your chest straining heavily against the shirt has him taking a step forward hastily, aching to get closer and closer.

You notice his staring, and you scratch the back of your neck a bit awkwardly. “Welcome home, love. Sorry, I was just about to go start pumping but the laundry had me busy. I lost track of time.”

He just nods, not able to take his gaze away from you. You blink, before quirking the corner of your lips up. Although your husband had never asked, you’d noticed his affinity for your chest increasing tremendously after you’d begun lactating - he thought he was smooth when he’d oh so innocently walk in on you with your pump, watching your milk fill up the bottle, but you knew better. The fixation in his eyes as he stared was telling, the way he’d play with his hands and fingers, struggling to keep eye contact with you making it oh so apparent. And so, with a confidence that only he could allow you to develop over the years, you realize that maybe it was alright that you hadn’t started dinner quite yet.

You bite your lip and slowly walk up to him, until you’re close enough to hear the slight wheeze in his breaths. You watch his Adam’s Apple bob as his eyes dart between your face and your breasts, trying to decide where to look. You almost laugh. “Asahi...I have an idea, if you’d be willing to try it out.”

His gaze meets yours with a bit of reluctance, and his brows tighten. “S-sure! What did you have in mind?”

You smile, leaning up on your tippy toes and placing a kiss against his cheek. “Well, since I haven’t started dinner yet, and I didn’t get to start pumping, and you’ve been gone all day, working hard and making me proud, I think you deserve a little reward.”

Asahi visibly flushed at this, and his eyes widened a bit. “A reward? What do you mean?”

You bite your lip, reaching out to take one of his large hands into your own, before carefully placing it over one of your breasts. He gasps sharply, his entire body tensing as he feels the wetness underneath his palm. You look up at him, doing your best to give him as seductive and sultry a look as you can muster.

“Well, I was thinking that maybe I could give you a little treat? As a thank you for everything that you do for me. It’s been waiting all day, and I’m so, so full… would you like that? Do you want a little snack as a reward?” You ask, watching his reaction carefully. His brown eyes are so warm, so genuinely shocked, and for a second you almost wonder if he’ll say no, or push you away. But before you can take back your words, he’s eagerly nodding, walking you backwards into the living room and settling you down into a sitting position on the couch. He crouches below you, on his knees in between your legs, still in the nice clothes he’d worn to work today. You grab the hem of your shirt, carefully lifting it over you and throwing it to some unknown part of the room. The cold air hits you, and you feel your nipples harden and the skin of your breasts tighten up.

Asahi lets out a mix between a moan and a whimper at the sight of your bare chest, staring in awe with his mouth open. When you see him not moving, you carefully reach your hands up, cupping your breasts and gently squeezing, causing a small stream of milk to leak out of each nipple.

“Darling, don’t you want your reward?” You ask, squeezing extra hard, sending a spurt of liquid out, his eyes following the arc as he licks his lips.

Asahi gulps, a low growl escaping him as he gently pulls your hands away, instead latching his mouth around a nipple and sucking -

You sigh softly, the feeling of his lips applying pressure and his tongue swiping over your nipple much more erotic than you had been expecting. His lips work against you, tongue swirling against your sensitive areolas as his cheeks hollow. He moans against you, the taste of you overwhelming his senses and setting his body alight with pleasure. He can feel his pants growing uncomfortably tight, but he just sucks harder, listening to your coos and cries above him.

His hand reaches out to cup your other breast, squeezing a bit more firmly and watching the milk leak, before he leans back, releasing the nipple from his mouth with a popping sound, and squeezes once more, harshly, watching as a stream of milk arcs through the air and directly into his parted, awaiting mouth. You both moan, and he swallows. He rubs his fingers over your nipples, and looks up at you, licking his lips.

“I think it’s time you showed me just how good you taste down here, too.” He says, grinding his clothed erection against your crotch. You moan, nodding your head and tangling your fingers into his hair, watching his eyes flutter closed at the sensation.

And, thirty minutes later as he’s pulling out of you, hissing slightly at the overstimulation, Asahi can only pant, a hand once again coming up to lightly squeeze at your breast, the kiss he gives you heated enough to have you melting against the mattress, too relaxed to even notice the way he pushes himself back in again, gasping into your mouth and pushing through the overstimulation because he needs this, needs you.

After all, he can never get enough of you.

#yandere haikyuu #yandere asahi #yandere asahi azumane #haikyuu smut #_haikyuu #_asahi azumane #_lee's profiles

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leahrintarou · 4 months ago

Note

hii i saw some of your works and i adore the way you write, so whenever you had time, could you write an asahi x reader? possibly nsfw , and the reader being older than asahi, and you do the rest! thank you if you do it :)))

✩₊˚.⋆ REDESIGN - asahi azumane

CW: reader has female anatomy, mentions of lingerie, fem reader, nsfw, penetration, unprotected sex, usage of the petname "baby" & "beautiful", she calls him 'sahi' as a nickname lol. (i hope this reflects what you requested, anon! :)

Word Count: 1.8k

"oh wait, i need to visit one last store." y/n caught the wrist of her boyfriend, gently pulling him towards the entrance of a clothing boutique. "there’s no hurry, beautiful. i wouldn’t mind if you decided to visit every store in this mall." his smile was warm, comforting, and y/n couldn’t help but feel her heart swell with a gentle heat. asahi followed her to the back, where the lingerie awaited in soft, delicate folds.

"oh?" his eyes widened in surprise as he realized where they stood. she hadn’t mentioned what they were looking for, so the revelation caught him off-guard. "didn’t you just buy like ten different sets a week ago?" he asked, as she released his wrist, now lost in browsing through the selections. "all of which you tore apart, beyond repair," she replied, rolling her eyes as she held up a piece, considered it, then shook her head and put it back.

"oops…" he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, and y/n nudged him playfully with her shoulder. "not that i’m really complaining," she added.

"well, complain or not, just saying, i’m totally not at fault for your broken sets." he raised his hands in mock defense. y/n’s eyes narrowed at his feigned innocence. "i don’t know, sahi," she deadpanned, "but i’m fairly certain that you yanking the piece fabric off me has everything to do with you."

asahi let out a soft laugh. "not my fault the material is garbage despite being ridiculously overpriced." he shrugged. y/n didn’t seem to hear him, already captivated by a new black set that had caught her eye. "this one is so cute!" she exclaimed, holding it up for him to see. "it is," he replied, smiling faintly.

she arched an eyebrow at his dry response, prompting him to elaborate. after a pause, he shrugged, hesitant. she nudged him again, impatient. "i’m just saying," he began, "i could make something like that. better quality, too, and for free, might i add."

"oh, really?" she replied, dripping with sarcasm. asahi was a talented designer, no doubt, but lingerie was far outside his usual realm. still, his confidence was almost convincing, even to her.

"definitely. we can stop by the fabric store before heading home."

"so, you’re really going to make me custom lingerie because store-bought doesn’t live up to your standards?"

"yup. seems like a perfectly valid reason to me."

"whatever you say." she sighed, setting the set back reluctantly. "wait," asahi stopped her, taking the lingerie from her hands. "we’re still buying these for tonight. might be poorly made, but you’ll make it look perfect. besides, you won’t be wearing it for long." his grin widened, and y/n shook her head, following him to the checkout.

---

"beautiful?" asahi’s voice reached her as she lay half-asleep on the couch. it had been a long, exhausting week, and the fatigue was winning. blinking away sleep, she turned the TV’s volume down with the remote in her hand. "hm?" she called, glancing at him as he descended the stairs and came around to stand behind the couch.

"i’ve got a surprise for you."

"sahi, it’s eleven at night. what kind of surprise is this?" she smiled faintly. he revealed a small box, wrapped neatly with a bow, and handed it to her. "what’s this?" she asked, taking the box, her curiosity piqued. there wasn’t any special occasion coming up, but asahi’s love language was undeniably gift-giving.

he took a seat beside her, urging her to open it. y/n lifted the lid, peeling back the layers of tissue paper, and there, resting beneath, was lace. rich, deep red lace overlaying black, intricately woven and delicate. she pulled it out, admiring the craftsmanship, and looked at him, eyes soft with adoration.

"you actually made this?" her voice was filled with disbelief.

asahi shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips. she couldn’t help but pull him into a hug, pressing a kiss to his lips, lingering for a moment before he pulled back to speak. "go try it on. i need to see if it fits—I made it all from memory." he chuckled as y/n quickly stood and made her way to their bedroom.

this was what he’d been working on all week in his office. she had nearly forgotten about his promise to make her a custom set. quickly slipping out of her clothes, she donned the pieces he had designed for her, amazed at how perfectly they fit. it seemed impossible, but then again, his hands had memorized every curve of her body.

emerging from the bathroom, she walked towards him with quiet, deliberate steps. the soft glow of the TV flickered across the room, casting faint shadows as she approached. "sahi," she called softly, a shy smile tugging at her lips. she suddenly felt self-conscious under his intense gaze as his eyes traced her form from head to toe.

"say something," she groaned, crossing her arms in mock frustration.

asahi stood, closing the distance between them, his hands finding their way to her hips. "you look stunning," he whispered against her lips. "you did an amazing job," she complimented him with a smile, but he shook his head, pulling her closer until their bodies pressed together.

"yeah, but," he murmured, brushing his lips against hers for a fleeting moment before pulling back, "you make it look ten times better."

his hands traveled to the small of her back, drawing her nearer, his voice a quiet promise against her skin. "now, let’s see how durable it is."

he pressed a kiss against y/n's lips, firm and unyielding, and without hesitation, y/n parted hers in response. his tongue brushed lightly against her own, and she sighed into his mouth, a sound that sent a tremor through him, compelling his hand to find her waist. there was a hunger in his gaze, one reserved solely for her. he guided her to the couch, took his seat, and motioned for her to straddle his lap.

the more he tasted her, the more insatiable his desire became. a groan escaped him when she shifted against his lap, and the sound mirrored his growing need. y/n seemed to sense it, teasingly pressing the strained fabric of his sweatpants, drawing a deep moan from him. "i'm grateful you made this for me, sahi," she murmured softly.

he hummed in response, a low, knowing sound. "mhm and i never ask for anything in return... but..." his voice trailed off as he pulled back slightly, but the unspoken request in his eyes was unmistakable. y/n smiled, and in one smooth motion, she ground her hips against his clothed arousal, her movement deliberate. he threw his head back, groaning deeply.

"too much?" she asked, almost teasingly.

"not enough," he rasped, as her lips found his neck, leaving delicate kisses along his skin. with a swift movement, he pulled at the string of his sweatpants, freeing himself from the layers of fabric that restrained him. y/n took him into her grasp, and a sigh of relief slipped past his lips, though it was tainted by the greed simmering beneath his skin. no matter how much she gave him, it was never enough. "i need you so badly right now, beautiful," he groaned, his body shuddering as she stroked him.

y/n, her own desire mounting, ground herself against his thigh this time. asahi shook his head, laughing softly through the haze of lust. "if you're that needy, use me, beautiful. I'm right here and i need you just as much." her frustration was evident, her body trembling with the need to have him, to feel him entirely. it was as if time slowed, her patience thinning, and the urge to claim him overwhelming her. and he, too, couldn't deny the hunger in his veins, the way his body already responded to her touch.

with his assistance, y/n lifted her hips, and soon the barrier between them vanished. slowly, he helped her sink down onto his length, and their combined moans filled the room. "you feel so good," he breathed, the sensation of her warmth enveloping him nearly tipping him into oblivion. despite his need, he remained gentle, his hands gripping her waist with a tender firmness, guiding her movements as she rose and fell against him. every meeting of their hips brought a fresh wave of pleasure.

but he could sense her fatigue, the way her rhythm faltered. "need my help, beautiful?" he asked, his voice rough with desire.

she nodded, a soft whimper of "please" escaping her lips. with ease, he shifted them both, laying her on her back as he positioned himself between her thighs. his movements became more frantic, more desperate, as he plunged into her, groaning hoarsely with each thrust. y/ n's hands found his wrist, and when he applied a gentle pressure to her abdomen, her moans became more urgent.

he quickened his pace, sensing the edge of ecstasy looming before them both. with one hand, he massaged her in swift, precise circles, his thumb finding her most sensitive spot. y/n bit her lip, her breathless whimpers filling the space between them. "you're almost there, baby," he panted, ignoring the ache in his own body, focusing only on her.

her body trembled beneath him, tension building until it reached its peak. he glanced down at her, the lace of her lingerie a beautiful contrast against her skin, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of her. when she called his name, her voice laced with desperation, he unraveled completely. he pulled out of her, continuing the movements against her bud as her body jolted from the intensity of the sensation.

it didn't take long before her climax hit, her body arching under his touch. to him, it was the most exquisite sight. he gripped his length, pleasuring himself just enough to teeter on the edge of release, and y/n, noticing his need, took over. her hand wrapped around him, her strokes deliberate, and the fact that it was her touch that undid him pushed him over. spurts of his release spilled over her hand and dripped onto her bare abdomen, and asahi let out a long, pleasure-filled moan, his body still trembling as she continued to draw out his high.

slowly, her movements ceased, and asahi leaned down, his breath mingling with hers as they shared a soft kiss, a silent promise of contentment between them.

"sahi?" her voice broke the silence.

"yes, beautiful?" he whispered, brushing his lips against hers once more.

"can you make me one in blue?" she asked with a playful smile.

he chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to her lips. "anything you want, baby," he murmured, his laughter lingering in the air as they lay together, lost in each other's warmth and dimming lust.

heyyyy :)

this is my first time writing for asahi so i hope he's not hella ooc 😭hope you enjoyed tho! leave a like to support <3

got a request? send it in and i'll write it :D

Taglist: @nemoo888 @delicatexmoonchild @flowerpjimin @tedcruzumakii @sugacor3 @selysixn @mitsuyas-version @matchaismylove @cyberrthegreat @ivydoesit23 @riririntaro @ilovechickfilasauce @sincerelyzee @daydreamteardrop @lifesucksweswallow

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cottonlemonade · 11 months ago

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Masterlist

divider by me 🐠

🌟 Note, all works are x chubby!Reader 🌟

about me

Karasuno

characters written so far: > Sawamura Daichi > Sugawara Koushi > Hinata Shoyo > Kageyama Tobio > Tsukishima Kei > Ennoshita Chikara > Tsukishima Akiteru > Azumane Asahi > Nishinoya Yuu

Nekoma

characters written so far: > Kuroo Tetsuro > Kozume Kenma > Inuoka So

Fukurodani

characters written so far: > Bokuto Kotarou > Akaashi Keiji

Aoba Johsai

characters written so far: > Oikawa Tooru > Iwaizumi Hajime > Hanamaki Takahiro > Matsukawa Issei > Kyotani Kentaro

Inarizaki

characters written so far: > Kita Shinsuke > Miya Osamu > Miya Atsumu > Suna Rintaro > Oomimi Ren

Shiratorizawa

characters written so far: > Ushijima Wakatoshi > Tendou Satori > Semi Eita

Date Tech

characters written so far: > Futakuchi Kenji > Koganegawa Kanji > Aone Takanobu

Kamomedai

characters written so far: > Hirugami Sachiro > Hoshiumi Korai

Itachiyama

characters written so far: > Sakusa Kyoomi > Komori Motoya

Miscellaneous

🫧 Meian, a wife guy [drabble]

🫧 Meian - Being MSBY’s Single Dad word count: 1k, secret established relationship

Multi-Character Stories

🫧 When He Realizes You Are The One [drabble]

characters: Bokuto, Tendou, Kuroo, Atsumu, Oikawa, Noya, Sugawara, Makki, Daichi, your fave 🫧 IKEA Assembling Chaos [drabble]

characters: Kuroo, Bokuto, Atsumu, Futakuchi, Mattsun, Makki, Noya, Tendou, Oikawa, Ukai, Konoha, Suna, your fave

🍡 The Health Benefits Of Period Sex [drabble]

characters: Tendou, Kuroo, Makki, Mattsun, Futakuchi, Atsumu, Osamu, Suna, Konoha, Noya, Oikawa, your fave

🍡 Chub Rub [drabble]

characters: Tendou, Kuroo, Futakuchi, Konoha, Noya, Sugawara, Atsumu, Osamu, Mattsun, Iwaizumi, Hoshiumi, Suna, Yaku, your fave

🫧 Watching The Great British Bake Off [reaction]

characters: Sugawara, Bokuto, Hinata, Yamaguchi, Aone, Asahi, Tendou, Kita, Kuroo, Ennoshita, Akaashi, Koganegawa, Makki, Hirugami, Kageyama, Aran, Goshiki, Semi, Kenma, Futakuchi, Noya, Konoha, Iwaizumi, Tsukishima, Hoshiumi, Suna, Shirabu, Daichi, Ushijima, Mattsun, Osamu, Atsumu, Hoshiumi, Hinata, Bokuto, Oikawa, Yaku, Sakusa, Inuoka

🫧 Teaching You How To Ride A Bike [drabble]

characters: Daichi, Sugawara, Asahi, Noya, Hinata, Kageyama, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Ennoshita, Kita, Aran, Atsumu, Osamu, Suna, Oomimi, your fave

🍡 A Risky Game [drabble]

characters: Bokuto, Atsumu, Osamu, Noya, Kuroo, Futakuchi, Konoha, Sugawara, Mattsun, Makki, Tendou, Semi, Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Post-time skip Hinata, Ukai, Suna, Hoshiumi, Yaku, Hirugami, Daichi, your fave

🫧 Hand Warmers [drabble]

characters: Tendou, Atsumu, Osamu, Suga, Noya, Komori, lowkey Tsukki, Hinata, Ushijima, Kenma, Suna, Hoshiumi, Hirugami, Yaku, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Futakuchi, Bokuto, Kuroo, Kageyama, Mattsun, Makki, Semi, Konoha, your fave

🌱 Never Too Much [drabble]

characters: Tendou, Yaku, Suna, Noya, Kuroo, Atsumu, Oikawa, Bokuto, Mattsun, Komori, your fave

🍡 One More Snooze [drabble]

characters: Osamu, Atsumu, Tendou, Komori, Kuroo, Bokuto, lowkey Kenma, Oikawa, Meian, Suna, Nishinoya, Konoha, Futakuchi, Hirugami, Sugawara, Yaku, Mattsun, Kita, your fave

🫧 Pants vs. Skirts [drabble]

characters: Tendou, Kuroo, Komori, Oikawa, Nishinoya, Konoha, Atsumu, Bokuto, Sugawara, Semi, Yaku, Inuoka, Matsukawa, Suna, Hoshiumi, your fave

🫧 fluff // 🌱 comfort // 🍡 suggestive // 🪭 spice // 🌧️ angst/hurt

request events

01 [closed] 🍋 Lemonade Stand (100 followers)

02 [closed] 🍋 Lemonade Stand (spring)

03 [closed] ☕️ Cozy Café (300 followers)

04 [closed] 🍱 Lunch Break (400 followers)

05 [closed] 🍋 Lemonade Stand (summer)

06 [closed] 🎃 Trick or Treat Movie Night (fall/900 followers)

07 [closed] 🎓 University AU (fall/winter/1100 followers)

08 [closed] End Of Year Ask Event

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suplicyy · 8 months ago

Text

"Wanna Be Your Muse..."

Artist!Reader x Karasuno [Part 2]

Summary — He discover by chance that you love drawing him, maybe even too much...

Characters — Tanaka, Ennoshita, Sugawara, Asahi, Daichi.

— Fluff

— Gn! Reader

You've been together for a month now, and him going to your house and vice versa was starting to become a routine. That day, he was the one who went to your house to spend the afternoon.

You were in your room watching a series, when you said you were going to the bathroom and left the room, leaving him alone there. While you were gone, he watched your room, looking at some posters on the wall, books on the shelf, a notebook open on his desk... – a notebook? - he thought. You usually left your desk tidy, so it was rare to have anything "dropped" on it.

He knew it wasn't good to see your things without permission, especially when you weren't there to let him or not, but he thought about taking the notebook and putting it on the shelf with the others. So when he went towards your desk to get the notebook, he didn't expect to see some drawings of him.

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

This man is in love with you more than ever, but now that he has seen your drawings, he is already sure that he would spend the rest of the days of his life with you.

I swear, he almost passed out right there.

As soon as you come back from the bathroom, get ready, because he will praise you until the end of the day (but it's not like he doesn't do this every day, but on this particular occasion his compliments would increase by 100%)

At that moment his eyes almost turned into hearts.

Whenever you would do some of his art, he would offer to be your model; doing poses, gestures, expressions, everything you can imagine.

Chikara Ennoshita

He honestly never thought you would draw him. Among so many things you could observe and put in your notebook, why him?

But other than that, he was quite happy, his cheeks turning pink and an affectionate smile appearing on his face as he watched your artwork that you made with so much affection.

When you got to the room, he would tease you in an affectionate way.

He would try to help you with his opinions when you were in doubt about something.

Draw on paper or digitally? What colors to use? He would try to help you choose these and many other questions.

Sugawara Koushi

He would be so proud of you, I swear.

That definitely made Suga happier than he already was (he always say to you that just being in your company is enough to make him happy).

He would give you lots of kisses all over your face as a thank you!!

There would be times when he would see you drawing, and Suga would sit next to you with a sheet of paper and a pencil and try to draw with you. Even if his aren't as pretty or detailed as yours, you'll have fun together.

He would definitely paste the art you gave him on his bedroom wall. And he would always look at them when he was feeling down as a way to cheer him up a little (and it almost always works).

Asahi Azumane

Someone call an ambulance please, he just had a heart attack...

I'm serious, he was so nervous at that point that at any moment he could let out a not-at-all-manly scream.

Asahi would definitely keep your drawings for life, and always checking them out from time to time.

And if you asked him to draw him someday, he would say yes but he would definitely be a blushing mess.

And I don't know why, but in my mind Asahi is a pretty great artist. He would also draw you, but he would never have the courage to show you because he thinks you won't like them or because they aren't good enough.

Please give him some kisses and praise his drawings, he will be extremely shy about it but his heart will warm with so much love!!!

Sawamura Daichi

He would find the drawings very cute!! If you saw his expression when he was looking at the drawings of himself, you would see a big smile on his face.

Daichi would give you the most comfortable hug you had ever received in your life, and kiss the top of your head affectionately.

He already knew that you drew, and even saw you doing some of them, but he didn't imagine that you would draw him too.

I imagine he would ask you and Yachi to make posters for the volleyball club, with you doing the arts and her doing the designs!

And one of the reasons he did this was not because he wanted to show everyone how well his partner draws, no way... (yes, he did!)

A/N — I barely started writing here and I already disappeared, I'm really sorry guys!!! This week has been really busy for me, so it was a little difficult to finish this one...😭😭😭

And also... THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT!!! I never imagined that in such a short time so many people would read what I'm posting, I'm really very happy!!

— Read part 1 [here] !

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu #tanaka ryuunosuke #tanaka ryunosuke x reader #chikara ennoshita #chikara ennoshita x reader #sugawara koushi #sugawara koushi x reader #asahi azumane #asahi azumane x reader #sawamura daichi #sawamura daichi x reader

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taones · 2 years ago

Text

If You Can Hold On (3) - A.A, S.K, S.D

rewrite of the third part of the series (first and second parts here and here, original series on my masterlist) enjoy <3

pairing ~ poly asadaisuga x gn!reader

warnings ~ pining, angst, arguments, swearing, general stress tbh, my horrible attempt at writing purposefully cringe flirting, mildly suggestive, very brief editing and spellcheck so

You sniffed as you stirred, pulling the soft fabric underneath your cheek further into you. It smelt like sandalwood with a hint of coffee and you were instantly reminded of Daichi. The man’s coffee addiction had become serious during his final year. You supposed yours would too, if you were in charge of Hinata. His scent was a big reason why you enjoyed stealing Daichi’s clothes so much. Gripping the fabric in your fingers, the underneath was oddly warm. The further you returned to your sleepy state, the less you found yourself caring about the odd warmth of your cushion, or the slow rise and fall of it under your head.

“Still sleepy, huh?”

Jolting, you snapped your eyes open. A strong heat flooded under the skin of your cheeks, you shot up. An action that brought the blanket that was covering you tumbling down your form, settling at your waist and exposing not only your body, but Daichi’s. You had heard several times from his partners that the man likes forgoing shirts when he sleeps, but observing it was a whole other story. Usually, when you stayed around, he was up and dressed before any of you and you never saw him without a shirt. It soon became clear why this was a good thing. The man was laying in the bed, under where you just laid, dressed in nothing but pajama pants and an unzipped hoodie. Honey coloured skin peaked out from the gap between the zipper, a toned and yet perfectly soft stomach just begging for you to reach out and run your fingers down it.

Shuffling from the other side of the bed alerted you to the other two presences in the room. Asahi was sitting against the headboard, the other side of where you had evidently slept last night. His curly hair was piled on top of his head and he had those damn reading glasses on, the ones that made him look just as intelligent as you knew he was. He smiled closed mouthed, obviously bemused at your shock, and waved with the hand that was currently holding his book. Sugawara was curled under his arm, on the far side of the bed - still snoring, of course. Koushi was the sleepiest of all three of you. Hyper, undeniably, but once he was asleep, he was down for the count.

Asahi slid a hand onto the thigh that was closest to him. His hands were large and calloused against the soft skin of your exposed thigh. Why you decided to pack shorts was a mystery to you. Especially now as you flexed the muscles, trying desperately to not squirm and pay attention to what he was about to say.

“We were gonna grab some breakfast” he explained, in an unfairly attractive morning voice,

“We passed a diner last night, probably swinging back ‘round to that”

“Once sleeping beauty wakes up, that is”

You smiled, biting your lip in an attempt not to laugh. The three of you would have an easier time herding cats. Asahi’s hand slipped off of your thigh. You tried to suppress the shiver that ran up your spine and desperately ignored the way you missed his touch as soon as it left. Getting breakfast together was a routine you were all well versed in. You had all spent the majority of weekends before your exams meeting in a small cafe near your homes to get waffles together. Simpler times, you guessed. You knew each others orders like the back of your hands, and you always got fed portions of their individual orders no matter how many times you went. The contrast between each order was evident and matched perfectly with each of them.

“I’m up for waffles”

---

The diner was relatively busy when you got there. Of course, with Daichi’s team dad skills and Asahi’s somewhat intimidating stature, you had managed to secure a booth just fine. As tradition went, it was you and Asahi on one side, Daichi and Koushi on the other. Asahi trapped you against the wall with his broad shoulders, but you liked the security of it and this is something the others had very clearly noticed. You were almost 100% certain that the seating was done this way so you and Asahi wouldn’t comment on the obnoxious amount of chocolate and cream the other two piled onto their waffles.

Conversation flowed easily. You were too sleepy to even entertain the thought of your wallowing that morning, much rather preferring the simple reminiscing and idle chatter the boys filled the silence with. At one point you had said something that made Daichi laugh so hard that he had snorted his milkshake out of his nose. There was some hope that they didn’t notice the way you preened like a cat at getting the usually stoic man to laugh that hard. It was a beautiful noise, but his true laugh was rare. The dad-like chortle making way for wheezing towards the end of his laughing fits was enough to get even the most stone-faced of people to crack a smile.

You handed him a wad of napkins. He took them with both hands, lifting one to wipe his face and keeping the other firmly grasping yours. Your breath hitched.

Eventually, after the fifth time of Daichi wiping the wrong spot, Koushi grasped a few more napkins from your hands and wiped the remaining chocolate off of Daichi’s face. You held out another napkin for the silver-haired man's fingers, being met by his signature dazzling smile.

“What would we do without you, huh gorgeous?”

The bliss was interrupted by all of their phones pinging a notification simultaneously. Suga read the text and visibly grimaced. In an effort to protect yourself from the hurt, you cast your gaze towards the table. It was very obviously a group chat you were not on. The little bubble of joy you had experienced just moments prior popped sharply and it was if the room had dimmed under the morning sun. That was fine, they were allowed to be in chats without you, it wasn’t a big deal, it might not be their new addition, right? You repeated the question in your head like a mantra to calm yourself as you tapped on Asahi to let you out.

“I’m gonna order another drink” you mumbled, smiling brightly at the boys.

The last couple of seconds replayed in your head over and over, even while stammering out your drink order. It was slightly easier to hide your scorned feelings when you weren’t facing the cause. Your back was aimed towards the table of boys, even as you reached the coffee station and made a grab at a few paper packets of sugar.

The paper was flimsy in your hands, not aiding the clumsiness that was already plaguing you. The coffee was intended for Suga and the man liked his coffee in a very particular way. You counted out exactly two packets of white sugar, and one packet of brown sugar. E preferred the wooden stirrers, even when spoons were available, said they reached the sugar in the bottom of the cup easier. Of course, this was most likely complete nonsense but you couldn’t help but entertain the thought as you took yourself through the motions. You smiled gently at the routine and just how absurd it would look to anyone else. How were you supposed to explain the oddity that was Sugawara Koushi and his fantastical coffee routine?

A hand settled next to you on the coffee counter.

“That’s a lot of sugar for someone already so sweet looking”

Turning, you came face to face with a man a little bit taller than you, he had dark hair and a decently attractive smile. He was cute, sure. But he wasn’t quite as tall as Asahi, he didn’t have Daichi’s warm smell and his flirting was kind of wooden to anyone who was familiar with Koushi’s cheekier flirting. In your peripherals, you could see the inquisitive glances from your friends and you really couldn’t help yourself after that. Was it kind to lead someone on? Maybe not but you were tired of morality and interested to see how this would play out.

Giggling, you looked up at him through your lashes. Screw it, if you couldn’t have who you wanted, you were at least gonna have fun.

“Maybe I like sweet things, don’t judge” you mused, taking the wooden stirrer between your teeth.

The man leaned his other arm on the coffee counter, effectively trapping you against the cart. It was a move you assumed was meant to come across as sexy. However it just made you feel like you were a caged animal, cornered and ready to claw your way out of the situation. His hand retracted, holding more napkins than any one man could possibly need. The dark haired man shot you a wink and you forced out a smile in return, shooting a glance at your now empty table. The brilliant smile of the man in front of you began to fade, causing you to snap your head towards him.

“I’m so sorry, what was that?” you questioned politely, putting the clueless act on once again.

A throat was cleared next to you. There was really no denying how intimidating the boys were when they wanted to be. Daichi’s arms bulged from where they were crossed over his chest. It was a display that would usually make your mouth water, but only proved to further fuel your anxiety in the given moment. They weren’t scary to you of course, but the sharp glare Suga was sending the man as well as Asahi’s unimpressed look caused a flush of anxiety to run through you.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Suga hissed at the poor man, who was now looking about ready to run.

“Sorry” the man stuttered, “I didn’t realise they were taken, know when i'm not welcome”

He put his hands up in a mock surrender and turned to leave.

“Wait, no i’m not-” you started, but he was gone.

They had, not for the first time, rendered you speechless. Embarrassment curled in your gut, bubbling up into something more volatile when you saw the satisfied looks they sported, eyes following the man back to his table. Disbelief didn’t even begin to cover the cocktail of emotions that were currently mixing within you.

If you didn’t leave, you were going to lose your temper very quickly. Chest heaving, you recentred yourself and spun on your heel, pulling your wallet out.

The lady behind the counter looked only mildly intrigued at the odd display that had just occurred in front of her. She curled a perfectly manicured eyebrow at you as if to ask if you needed a hand. It filled you with a certain sense of irony, that this random woman was more concerned as to your feelings at that moment than your actual friends, who had known you for years. You stuttered out an apology and slammed some cash on the counter, probably harder than intended. Then you promptly turned and marched out of the diner.

The mad scramble behind you was ignored in your attempt to walk to the car without bursting into tears, punching something, or both. You heard the protests in the background but they were muffled by the buzzing of rage in your ears. Fists curling and uncurling, you tried to think back to the last time you had gotten this angry. You had been plenty angry in the past, school was a difficult time for everyone, but the three men you had left in the diner were usually the first ones to calm you down. This was one of the only times they were the cause of your wrath. Most likely, they would also be on the receiving end of said wrath soon enough.

Kicking the dust of the car park, you watched as stones and dirt scattered away from you. You wanted to scream, hit things, throw yourself in the dirt and cry - anything that would take some pressure off of the crushing weight in your torso. The flame twisted and gnashed at your insides, growling and clawing its way up your oesophagus until it released itself in a small scream of frustration. Would things ever be simple for you?

Telepathy had never been a skill you particularly craved until that moment. There was no way of understanding what those three idiots were thinking. Even if you did know, you were doubtful it would soothe your frustration. You threw yourself on the ground behind the trunk of the car, yanking your phone out of the pocket of your jeans.

“Kiyoko” you seethed down the phone, “will you please come and pick me up”

She gave you the affirmative and set the loose time limit to her arrival. No doubt Yachi would be with her. You weren’t sure whether you would be able to deal with their romance in your face at that moment, but anything was better than being stuck in a car with Asahi, Daichi and Sugawara.

Jangling alerted you to the three men in question. They had obviously paid and were frantically looking around the cars to locate you. With any luck a sinkhole would open in the earth and swallow you whole before they spotted you.

Luck was never your thing.

The sky had opened up once again. It was almost beginning to grate on your nerves how much it had been raining this trip. The irony had been entertaining in the beginning, bordering on humorous how cliche it was. Now the weather you usually took so much pleasure in indulging in was maddening. You wanted to be angry with them for once, yell even. But the rain was washing your frustration away, leaving an empty feeling. A feeling that made you want to give up.

Your prayers went unanswered, the three men walking up to you in due time.

“What was that?” you questioned, voice resigned.

“What do you mean? He was flirting with you”

The sound of genuine confusion in Asahi’s voice made your food feel like it was curdling inside of you. You breathed out in disbelief, brows knitting together tightly.

“And just what does that have to do with any of you?”

None of them replied, taken back by your outburst. You stood abruptly and continued.

“You’re all dating! You literally have two boyfriends and I know you’re talking to another person. So really” you paused, “why the fuck does it matter if i don’t want to be alone anymore? Do I not deserve to be wanted? You evidently don’t want me”

Your voice cracked towards the end of your rant. Three pairs of eyes stared at you in disbelief. The hints of hurt mixed into all three was evident, but you felt like a bottle that had been shaken and the lid was off. You erupted once again. there was nothing more that you wanted than to be loved on purpose. it was inexplicably unfair that even unconnected attempts at finding a relationship had to be ruined by the three men in front of you.

“God it hurts, can you not see that? It hurts so bad. You won’t ever understand how much it pains me to be around you and see just how happy this new person is going to make you, knowing that’s not me? That hurts” you spat the last sentences, vitriol coating your words.

The storming sea inside you had calmed somewhat, leaving you to assess the damage your words had done. It wasn’t the most ideal way to confess your feelings but the weight that was lifted off your shoulders felt tremendous. The pain you were feeling was paralysing, stopping you from running like you desperately wanted to. It knocked the wind out of you, reducing your last statement to a pathetic whisper.

“I get you don’t want me around, but other people will. It’s not okay to take that away from me”

As if some God had heard your plea, Kiyoko’s tiny blue car sped into the car park just as you broke down crying. The womans tiny blonde girlfriend sped out of the car, catching you before your knees could meet the wet sand beneath you. Yachi cooed at you softly, placing her entire body in front of you as if to form a shield between you and the cause of your heart ache. Her eyebrows furrowed in concern, eyes filling with sympathy at your curled up figure.

It was truly humiliating.

Kiyoki motioned for her to pull you into the car, stepping out of the driver's side herself and towards you. The dainty hands of the younger girl were soft and comforting, her rose scent filled your stuffy nose while she led your stumbling form to the welcome shelter of her girlfriend's car. The difference in posture between the two of you was like night and day. You were hunched over, protecting yourself from outside view. Your wounds were gaping, horrible open pits with your rawest emotions in the middle for everyone to gaze at and laugh. She wrapped a soft blanket around you, bandaging you up and keeping you safe in the backseat of the car.

There were muffled voices from the outside of the car, but the sound of the heater being cranked full blast muffled them. There was a lot of angry words, not quite yelling but scolding certainly. You whimpered at the noise, not being able to distinguish who it was. You were certain they would never want to see you again, let alone speak to you, after your outburst. If only there was a way to scoop all of your words off of the floor and shove them back down into your mouth. Daichi, Asahi and Sugawara had never been in love with you, you could deal with that fact. Them cutting ties completely would surely kill you.

A polaroid of Yachi and Kiyoko, perched on a wall and smiling at each other, was stuck to the centre of the car, directly above the stereo. It hung there, mocking you. You stared and tried not to think about how you would never be able to achieve that, not where it counted. In the end, it was easier to avert your gaze than confront what you couldn’t have.

Fuming, Kiyoko wrenched the door open and threw herself into the driver's seat. It was a miracle she managed to make even that look graceful. Her face was unnaturally contorted by an anger that was uncommon for her. It marred her beautiful features viciously. In staring at her, you caught sight of yourself in the mirror. It was a distressing look to say the least. Your hair was messy from your own grip and the bags under your eyes had only gotten worse. What little effort you had put into your looks this morning had all gone to waste, either washes away or dampened under the rain.

Yachi stroked her hand over your shoulder and climbed into the passenger's seat.

Staring out of the back window as the car pulled away, you caught sight of the three you had left behind. Koushi was patting Azumane’s back from where he crouched on the ground, dragging large hands across his face. Daichi was beside them, head buried in his arms on top of the car. You blinked. They had no right to be upset, you thought. You tried to block it all from your mind as their figures turned into tiny dots in the distance. All the years of friendship, the lives you had built together and the dreams you had created - they were buried in the dust where you left them.

me: says I'll post part three the next day, also me: takes a week to post it. I'm not sure when I'll get around to posting part 4 but hopefully I'll remember to actually post it

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