#azazel feelings

[horrorshow]

You’re the one I’m rooting for. It was about you. It’s always been about you. I could've killed you a hundred times today but this… this is worth the wait.

[quietwingsinthesky]

rip to the real guy that demon was possessing but lucifer killing that elementary school teacher with sam after revealing it was one of azazel’s gang that had been manipulating him his whole life WAS romance actually <3

[twochildreninamoteldemo]

the fact is, i don't believe john abused his sons in the way most people think. maybe he spanked them a little as a kid, but i dont think he whipped them or really beat them, i don't think he sexually abused them, i think his biggest crime was child neglect inherent to the kind of nomadic and revenge-focused life he led after mary died. that IS a form of child abuse, especially fostering emotional incest and codependency, but he wasn't bad because he was abusive in the more tangible way people think.

HOWEVER. supernatural uses possession of the winchester family, especially john in "devil's trap," to bring out sexual undertones between john and his sons, especially dean (i'm looping in sam, too, though, because if you don't believe there's anything sexual between azazel and sam in "devil's trap," you're lying to yourself). this isn't to prove that john was sexually abusive, but it instead brings dean's flustered emotional state and pseudo-sexual worship of his father to the forefront, as well as inversely, bringing out sam's desire to escape, instead of dean's desire to please. yellow-eyes knows how to prey on each of them using john's meatsuit in very personalized ways. but the highlight is again more of a freudian approach to child-parent desire, not a abusive parent-child one. on the other hand, it exacerbates the child abuse john did inflict on his sons by neglecting them, here, a sexual metaphor for that. that's the reason why they're even in this situation in the first place.

[samangstielwinchester]

"Are you one of my psychic kids?"

"I was the one who brought you back to life, that I was the one who lifted you from the darkness and into the light."

[unit-id-k725]

This isn't just a poll, but also a place for civil, reasoned, debate/discussion

tell us your favorite Helltaker girl, and why she's your favorite

How do they compare to the other girls? What's your favorite part about them?

[tacodestroyeravenger]

Deadpool spoilers below

Bro the Blade versus Azazel variant five second showdown was everything I didn’t know I wanted. My only complaint is that I would’ve liked that scene to be longer. It gives me hope for the potential of other fights that could happen with this multiverse thing going on. I also am hopefully optimistic on what’s next for the live action X-Men.

[incesthemes]

literally cannot wait to hear you talk about how supernatural 0103 is just. entirely about john's character

i HAVE made a post on this before: i think that 1.03 dead in the water is actually john's introduction episode, told through the allegorical characters bill carlton, jake devins, and peter sweeney's mother. because the character dean imprints onto and relates to is lucas, but the focus of the character is on the parents, so the attention drifts away from dean and onto john to paint a picture for the audience of who he is in his physical absence.

and the episode reveals a lot of information about john that's confirmed later in the series: that he considers losing his children worse than dying (1.20); that he's aggressive and likes to maintain control over situations (also 1.20); that he will sacrifice himself to protect his kids (2.01); so on, so forth.

but i missed something originally—or rather, i couldn't figure out the true, intended meaning of this particular, poignant line from dean: "you can't bury the truth. nothing stays buried."

it's a pretty big line. it's obvious foreshadowing. but i did my first rewatch of season 1 six months ago while i was half-paying attention and i couldn't remember the finer details, so i moved on. but! this is a line about sam (it's always about sam in the end, isn't it?).

dean says this in response to jake and bill attempting to cover up peter's murder. it happens when sam and dean are literally digging up peter's bike which bill and jake had buried thirty-five years ago. these two men had a secret, and nothing stays buried.

john has a secret, too. he knows about sam's connection to azazel. we don't know how long, exactly, he's known this, but it's safe to say he's known that sam is the target of something evil since the night of the fire, and by the time we get to the mid-season episodes, john has figured out this something is a demon. by 1.21, we know that john knows there's a distinct, unnerving connection between sam and the yellow-eyed demon.

and by 2.01, we know that john knows enough about all of this to understand what sam's destiny is and that he and/or dean are the only people who can prevent it.

he keeps all of this a secret, right up until the moment he dies. but no matter how hard he tries to keep the truth buried from his kids, it leaks out—sam has visions before jess dies; sam has visions of the house he was born in; meg comes after him to lure him away from dean; he finds max and realizes there are others like him; he finds meg again and she uses him as bait to kill john. and then there's the whole of season 2 on top of that.

it's a prophecy. you can't bury the truth. nothing stays buried. john was fighting a losing battle; the truth will always be found, and there was nothing john could do to stop sam from learning it, just like jake could do nothing to stop andrea from learning about the murder he committed three decades ago.

1.03 is about john, and it's about season 1. it's every step john will take from now until his death: from hiding the truth to watching it leak out from between his fingers to sacrificing himself to the monster to save his dying son. lucas is dean, jake is john, andrea is sam, and peter sweeney is azazel killing everyone around john and his kids until he's satisfied, until john offers up himself to bring his kid back from the dead.

[aliusfrater]

also in terms of the way that sam's ideal of normalcy and his pursuit of it plays into his role of the infantalised, innocent to be protected Sammy, i do think dean finds sam's ideal to be inherently naïve and infantile less so in the general concept of the pursuit of the nuclear and more so in terms of seeing sam's relationship with hope and faith as fundamental to his little brother. he asks, "what kind of kool aid you drinkin', man?" (4.07) the placement of the kids' drink in a metaphor usually about alcohol, when sam expresses his agency for an out, for the end of the cycle. there's the implication that that's not how it works for them, specifically, that dean's perspective is the harsh, mature reality of their lives that which they are not capable of receiving an out from and that believing they do is gullible thinking, which is a perspective that sam progressively (and in season four's case, temporarily) adopts. this, i think, eventually leads directly into 4.19 and dean's hypocritical exclusion of adam from their family despite 'adam's' expressed interest in favour of protecting the innocent, which betrays this fundamentally false belief (especiallyyy re: the idea that, "there will always be something to kill," / "evil bitches keep piling out of the volkswagen.") that their lack of inability to achieve the nuclear (largely relating to john's/the hunting ideal of there being paramountcy within the existing nuclear and the goal of the nuclear that hunters have a responsibility to uphold both through righteous unknowable protection and by being outcasts both within and outside of them especially as it relates to the us vs them dichotomy of monstrosity) is a fundamentally, true aspect of their reality -> "what makes adam so special?" / "he's a winchester he's already cursed." -> 4.21 "we were never gonna be normal, we were never gonna get away. grow up." <- 'grow up' being especially important because just as sam adopts and subjects himself to dean's dichotomy of monstrosity that he had been attempting to subvert within his agency (his usage of his powers for some perceivable good), he begins attributing dean's idea of sam's inherent naïvity in believing there could ever be an 'out' to himself and his monstrosity (4.22, "you're talking like i've got an 'after'." / "i can feel it inside me, ruby. i've changed... for good. and there's no going back now.") as well

[tainted-esau]

Woa

[boykingscourt]

...you know, sometimes I think about Azazel's whole Special Children plan and think, wow, this made no sense. So he made these deals to gain access to people's homes ten years in advance...without knowing if these people would have children? But somehow, every time, it was six months after the kid was born? Was that just selecting down based upon relevant criteria? How often did this pan out? When I first saw the show ten years ago, I just went with it, but I don't actually get it.

yeah I don't get it either, and I'm not sure the writers realized it has some holes

it's not explained how azazel would just Know the people he made deals with would have 6 month olds in 10 years

granted he did visit every house when the kids were 6 months old exactly despite seeming to make the deals in 4x03 without being specific about the day, and of course we can infer not every deal happened in the same town

but still

[lexia-solve-e]

mairuma spoiler: baal is ameris dad. source: i live in nishi osamu’s basement for legal purposes, this is a joke

[captainmullin]

I'm sorry but i only remember Captain Mullin! The ask game mentions two of your original characters, can you give a blurb/talk about any others you may have?

Mullin's really only my big one! @acequinox has Azazel, a Draph who runs a cargo ship! He's definitely more of a strong, silent type that practically raised Mullin... let me find my notes on him really quick! (plus some timeline shenanigans)

other OCs I have are mainly minor characters that I like dropping into the world to give it a little texture; like the Starseeker crew in the first chapter of The Journal!

a little bonus Azazel from ace!

[iliveinyou]

samjohn where John lives past s2 and holds a dead Sam in his arms instead of Dean in ahbl? How do you think he’d behave?

This is not something I had ever considered before and it made me lose my mind a little bit when I let myself think about it.

I LOVE this scene for Sam and Dean but oh my god can you imagine if it was John in the mud on his knees, rocking Sam back and forth, telling him he's going to be okay because his dad's got him now, he'll keep him safe.

He knows there's nothing he can do, tries his best to keep the tears from his voice as he holds Sam's face in his hands, memorising his features. Wipes the blood from his mouth with a shaky thumb. He wants Sam's last memories to be of him, of someone who loves him so much. He can't let Sam go with his last memories of being stabbed in the back.

He's glad that Dean isn't here to see this, that he doesn't have to see his brother die in front of him.

He's failed both his boys in so many different ways but he never wanted to end up here, could never fathom ending up here even when he considered the thought that he might have to ...

He can't even finish the thought.

Sam isn't dying by his hand but it still feels like a personal failure, like it's his fault somehow. It's like the pain of losing Mary all over again and please God no he can't do this again, he can't breathe as he cradles Sam to his chest and holds his limp head on his shoulder, dirty hand buried in dark curls.

"Shh, Sammy," he whispers, not able to speak any louder than this. He keeps talking, even knowing Sam won't respond to him again. Keeps rocking him like he did when he was trying to soothe a fussy baby Sam. He suddenly thinks of the baby he brought home from the hospital with Mary, of placing him in Dean's arms for the first time. "It's okay." His tears are soaking into Sam's hair, but he doesn't think about how Sam can't feel it. "You ... you'll be with Mary. You'll be safe with her, Sammy." He doesn't even know what he's saying anymore, knees numb from the cold mud and his head and chest aching with a grief he never wanted to feel again. He doesn't believe in happy endings or heaven anymore but if he has to lie to soothe himself Sam, he'll do it. He'll do it if it means he can pretend he made his son's last moments comfortable. He doesn't think about how Sam stopped moving before he started talking to him. He can't stop pretending, he doesn't want to.

[milanesa-con-matecocido]

Genuinely thinking about changing my name :/

[csoisoi]

happy birthday to us ameri!💛♥️

[ilovejohnwinchester]

So we all know Dean figured out John was possessed when John said he was proud of Dean for using a bullet to save Sam. This is usually taken as straightforward evidence that John would never have said this. On the other hand…

Azazel had full access to his mind—to all his “little thoughts and feelings” as Meg put it. He’d played John flawlessly up until that point, suggesting he had dug in deep into John’s psyche.

So I think another possibility exists: John was proud, and would have said so, and Dean would have just been really fucking surprised to hear it.