#azazel feelings

[horrorshow]

You’re the one I’m rooting for. It was about you. It’s always been about you. I could've killed you a hundred times today but this… this is worth the wait.

[twochildreninamoteldemo]

the fact is, i don't believe john abused his sons in the way most people think. maybe he spanked them a little as a kid, but i dont think he whipped them or really beat them, i don't think he sexually abused them, i think his biggest crime was child neglect inherent to the kind of nomadic and revenge-focused life he led after mary died. that IS a form of child abuse, especially fostering emotional incest and codependency, but he wasn't bad because he was abusive in the more tangible way people think.

HOWEVER. supernatural uses possession of the winchester family, especially john in "devil's trap," to bring out sexual undertones between john and his sons, especially dean (i'm looping in sam, too, though, because if you don't believe there's anything sexual between azazel and sam in "devil's trap," you're lying to yourself). this isn't to prove that john was sexually abusive, but it instead brings dean's flustered emotional state and pseudo-sexual worship of his father to the forefront, as well as inversely, bringing out sam's desire to escape, instead of dean's desire to please. yellow-eyes knows how to prey on each of them using john's meatsuit in very personalized ways. but the highlight is again more of a freudian approach to child-parent desire, not a abusive parent-child one. on the other hand, it exacerbates the child abuse john did inflict on his sons by neglecting them, here, a sexual metaphor for that. that's the reason why they're even in this situation in the first place.

[tacodestroyeravenger]

Deadpool spoilers below

Bro the Blade versus Azazel variant five second showdown was everything I didn’t know I wanted. My only complaint is that I would’ve liked that scene to be longer. It gives me hope for the potential of other fights that could happen with this multiverse thing going on. I also am hopefully optimistic on what’s next for the live action X-Men.

[tainted-esau]

Woa

[incesthemes]

literally cannot wait to hear you talk about how supernatural 0103 is just. entirely about john's character

i HAVE made a post on this before: i think that 1.03 dead in the water is actually john's introduction episode, told through the allegorical characters bill carlton, jake devins, and peter sweeney's mother. because the character dean imprints onto and relates to is lucas, but the focus of the character is on the parents, so the attention drifts away from dean and onto john to paint a picture for the audience of who he is in his physical absence.

and the episode reveals a lot of information about john that's confirmed later in the series: that he considers losing his children worse than dying (1.20); that he's aggressive and likes to maintain control over situations (also 1.20); that he will sacrifice himself to protect his kids (2.01); so on, so forth.

but i missed something originally—or rather, i couldn't figure out the true, intended meaning of this particular, poignant line from dean: "you can't bury the truth. nothing stays buried."

it's a pretty big line. it's obvious foreshadowing. but i did my first rewatch of season 1 six months ago while i was half-paying attention and i couldn't remember the finer details, so i moved on. but! this is a line about sam (it's always about sam in the end, isn't it?).

dean says this in response to jake and bill attempting to cover up peter's murder. it happens when sam and dean are literally digging up peter's bike which bill and jake had buried thirty-five years ago. these two men had a secret, and nothing stays buried.

john has a secret, too. he knows about sam's connection to azazel. we don't know how long, exactly, he's known this, but it's safe to say he's known that sam is the target of something evil since the night of the fire, and by the time we get to the mid-season episodes, john has figured out this something is a demon. by 1.21, we know that john knows there's a distinct, unnerving connection between sam and the yellow-eyed demon.

and by 2.01, we know that john knows enough about all of this to understand what sam's destiny is and that he and/or dean are the only people who can prevent it.

he keeps all of this a secret, right up until the moment he dies. but no matter how hard he tries to keep the truth buried from his kids, it leaks out—sam has visions before jess dies; sam has visions of the house he was born in; meg comes after him to lure him away from dean; he finds max and realizes there are others like him; he finds meg again and she uses him as bait to kill john. and then there's the whole of season 2 on top of that.

it's a prophecy. you can't bury the truth. nothing stays buried. john was fighting a losing battle; the truth will always be found, and there was nothing john could do to stop sam from learning it, just like jake could do nothing to stop andrea from learning about the murder he committed three decades ago.

1.03 is about john, and it's about season 1. it's every step john will take from now until his death: from hiding the truth to watching it leak out from between his fingers to sacrificing himself to the monster to save his dying son. lucas is dean, jake is john, andrea is sam, and peter sweeney is azazel killing everyone around john and his kids until he's satisfied, until john offers up himself to bring his kid back from the dead.

[samangstielwinchester]

"Are you one of my psychic kids?"

"I was the one who brought you back to life, that I was the one who lifted you from the darkness and into the light."

[captainmullin]

I'm sorry but i only remember Captain Mullin! The ask game mentions two of your original characters, can you give a blurb/talk about any others you may have?

Mullin's really only my big one! @acequinox has Azazel, a Draph who runs a cargo ship! He's definitely more of a strong, silent type that practically raised Mullin... let me find my notes on him really quick! (plus some timeline shenanigans)

other OCs I have are mainly minor characters that I like dropping into the world to give it a little texture; like the Starseeker crew in the first chapter of The Journal!

a little bonus Azazel from ace!

[lexia-solve-e]

mairuma spoiler: baal is ameris dad. source: i live in nishi osamu’s basement for legal purposes, this is a joke

[iliveinyou]

samjohn where John lives past s2 and holds a dead Sam in his arms instead of Dean in ahbl? How do you think he’d behave?

This is not something I had ever considered before and it made me lose my mind a little bit when I let myself think about it.

I LOVE this scene for Sam and Dean but oh my god can you imagine if it was John in the mud on his knees, rocking Sam back and forth, telling him he's going to be okay because his dad's got him now, he'll keep him safe.

He knows there's nothing he can do, tries his best to keep the tears from his voice as he holds Sam's face in his hands, memorising his features. Wipes the blood from his mouth with a shaky thumb. He wants Sam's last memories to be of him, of someone who loves him so much. He can't let Sam go with his last memories of being stabbed in the back.

He's glad that Dean isn't here to see this, that he doesn't have to see his brother die in front of him.

He's failed both his boys in so many different ways but he never wanted to end up here, could never fathom ending up here even when he considered the thought that he might have to ...

He can't even finish the thought.

Sam isn't dying by his hand but it still feels like a personal failure, like it's his fault somehow. It's like the pain of losing Mary all over again and please God no he can't do this again, he can't breathe as he cradles Sam to his chest and holds his limp head on his shoulder, dirty hand buried in dark curls.

"Shh, Sammy," he whispers, not able to speak any louder than this. He keeps talking, even knowing Sam won't respond to him again. Keeps rocking him like he did when he was trying to soothe a fussy baby Sam. He suddenly thinks of the baby he brought home from the hospital with Mary, of placing him in Dean's arms for the first time. "It's okay." His tears are soaking into Sam's hair, but he doesn't think about how Sam can't feel it. "You ... you'll be with Mary. You'll be safe with her, Sammy." He doesn't even know what he's saying anymore, knees numb from the cold mud and his head and chest aching with a grief he never wanted to feel again. He doesn't believe in happy endings or heaven anymore but if he has to lie to soothe himself Sam, he'll do it. He'll do it if it means he can pretend he made his son's last moments comfortable. He doesn't think about how Sam stopped moving before he started talking to him. He can't stop pretending, he doesn't want to.

[milanesa-con-matecocido]

Genuinely thinking about changing my name :/

[csoisoi]

happy birthday to us ameri!💛♥️

[zzoupz]

Hii sorry I just wanted to show off Azazel's skull I shottily skull to figure out how his horns work dsdsafa

OMGG HES REAL :0

also i get it i made his horns too hard to draw even for myself ksjksjd

[seasononesam]

sam should've killed azazel instead of dean

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

I never actually thought about this but yeah, I like the concept!

[synthetic-sonata]

august-september artdump bc i keep on slacking so theres only been some sketches recently ( I have Not Drawn a finished piece since july )

+ huge art dump of Messy Pen Test Doodles that i do when i download like 15 extra csp brushes i dont even need or use + General Extras as to not clog the post below

thank you for your time yayyyyy . whimsicott mocha for the trouble

[dcyswclking]

☠ — @r3dblccd | liked this & gets a zombie apocalypse starter from Thea

"I know you must think I’m a monster, but I’m the same I’ve always been. I’ve just stopped apologizing for it." There wasn't any remorse in her eyes. In fact she felt more herself than she ever has before.

[h1tmanmode]

uhhh. kind of unfinished silly dnd oc lineup so you all will know who im talking about when i tag them in textposts. tee hee