#avengers endgame can go fuck itself

[rusted-soldier]

Thinking about a world in which Steve retires but doesn’t leave Bucky so they have a little apartment in Brooklyn, and Steve stays up waiting for Bucky to come home after his missions so he can make sure he eats and bandages his wounds, and they stay together until the end of the line, and far beyond.

[ladychota]

I Missed You

Pairing - Loki x Female Reader

Warnings - Crying Loki, freaking Thanos dusting half the universe, grief (lmk if you want me to add anything)

Summary - The Avengers leave for a mission, leaving you and Loki alone in the compound to do whatever you want... but something unexpected happens.

Word Count - 850

A/N - This takes place at the end of Infinity War to near the end of Endgame, but Loki survived Thanos and his neck-crushing hands

Masterlist

"I'm glad they didn't let you go on that mission," You say, stroking Loki's hair as he lies on your chest.

"Oh really?" He replies. "And why's that?"

"Because it means we can spend time together. I missed you when you went to Asgard with Thor,"

You feel him smile against your stomach. "I missed you too, my love. So much. When Thanos came for us, I honestly thought it was the end. I thought I'd never get to hold you ever again,"

You hum in sad acknowledgement. "I started to get worried after the first few weeks of no contact. I was so scared that something had happened and I wasn't there to save you..."

You feel his hand stroke your face lovingly. "Well, we're here together now. That's all that matters, darling,"

"I agree," You smile. "In fact, why don't we do something? We should make use of this alone time,"

Loki sits up just enough so he can see your face, then leans forwards and presses a kiss to your lips. "I'd like that,"

You both get up and stretch, planning what you could do together.

"We could do some baking," You suggest. "Or reading,"

"Hmm... we could make those little fairy cakes you like," Loki pulls you towards him, a grin playing on his lips.

"Yes! They're my fav-" Your sentence is cut off by an odd pull in your chest. The smile is wiped from your face.

Something isn't right.

"Are you okay, my love?" Loki asks, concern lacing his every word. "We don't have to do it,"

You look up into his worried green eyes, your breathing becoming short.

"S-something's happened," You say shakily, feeling your body weakening.

"What do you mean?" Loki's grip tightens on your arms.

Something black begins to swirl around you... ashes, perhaps?

"Wait... wait Y/n! No!" His panicked voice fades away; his body disappears. You stumble forwards at the lack of contact. 

The ashes that were once floating around seem to sink into your skin. You look around at the once beautiful room as it slowly transforms. The wallpaper starts to peel and discolour, the furniture overturns and breaks itself, the light in the room disappears as the curtains are drawn.

You freeze, looking around the room as your heart is gripped by fear.

"What the fuck..."

What just happened? Where did Loki go? You feel your strength returning, but that feeling of weakness is quickly replaced by terror.

"Y/n!?" You hear a shout and fast feet down the corridor outside. "Y/n!!"

"Loki!?" He bursts through the door and freezes as you run a stressed hand through your hair. "I don't know what the hell just ha-"

You stop speaking as you notice him walking towards you slowly; timidly; his eyes filling with tears.

"Are you alright?" You ask, your voice breaking slightly with worry.

His hands cup your face, caressing your cheeks so gently it's as if he's worried about breaking you.

"Are you really here?" His voice is a hoarse whisper.

"Yes...?" You whisper in return. "Why wouldn't I be?"

His bottom lip trembles as the welling tears finally spill and trickle down his face. To think you were speaking of making fairy cakes only a moment ago...

"Y/n... my love, it's been five years,"

Your brow furrows in confusion. "Five years? Since what?"

He lets out a shuddering breath. "We lost, Y/n. That mission the others were sent on? They lost. Thanos snapped. He killed half of the universe, in-including... you,"

Your heart fills with dread, Loki's teary eyes only making it worse. "But then... how am I here?"

A small, sad smile graces his face before it disappears only a moment later. "We got the stones back. Bruce snapped and... and... you're here,"

His arms wrap around you as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, sobs wracking through his body. He's holding you so tightly it hurts, but you don't care.

"I'm here, Loki..." You murmur, trying to reassure him as tears spring to your own eyes.

He pulls away after a few minutes, attempting to steady his breathing as he looks down at you.

"I missed your beauty," He whispers. You notice how tired he looks, how the spark in his eyes seems to have died. "I missed your laugh and your jokes. I missed your voice, the twinkle in your eye, the lines you get on your face when you smile," He gives you a small, wobbly smile; you're both on the verge of tears once more as he continues:

"I missed the happiness and love you brought me. I missed the way you fiddle with your hair or my hand when you're nervous, the way you snuggle into my chest when you're tired, the way you try anything and everything to make sure I'm comfortable and happy..." He takes a deep breath.

"I missed you, Y/n,"

You feel your heart break slightly upon hearing his words, a single tear slipping down your cheek. You move onto your tip toes, leaning up to kiss him in silent gratitude, his words meaning more to you than you could ever express.

But your lips never meet.

Instead you're met with the blinding light of the world exploding around you.

[katebishopofearth]

Feel free to ignore….

How do you think tony would react to nats death? (In an ironwidow world ofc)!

Anon you've caught me in an ironwidow mood, and also a writing mood, and also an Endgame mood thanks to @queeenpersephone's excellent scene rewrite. So, it seems like the stars have aligned to make me answer this ask ;)

----

"See you in a minute." Natasha had smirked and brushed her lips against the corner of his mouth, a quick goodbye like she was going to to pick up cat food from the store down the road. Tony had barely laid a hand on her waist, hadn't even begun to hold her close for a lingering goodbye before they went off to different corners of space and time, when she stepped back lithely and slipped out of his reach.

He'll see her before too long.

But a minute later – after he took a life-changing trip to the past and laid some daddy issues to rest – Clint returns alone to the here and now. Drenched and weaponless, he collapses onto all fours, an orange jewel clutched in his hand.

The Avengers stare at him in trepidation, waiting for an explanation, when all he can offer is a grief-stricken look on his face. A black holes opens up in Tony's stomach and swallows his pounding heart.

"Where is she?" he demands, his voice shaking.

The bow-less archer turns his eyes to him. A look of profound sorrow carved into the lines on his face.

No. Tony swallows the despair that threatens to swallow him whole. "Where is she?!" He repeats, using anger to mask the immense fear that yawns inside him. He steps forward and kneels down to grabs Clint by the shoulders. "Tell me, you coward!" he snarls, at once a demand and a plea. Tell me she's right behind you. Tell me she got left behind. Tell me there's still time to save her. Tell me… tell me… anything except –

Clint shakes his head, unshed tears in his eyes like the alien stars he has just witnessed. "She's gone." His voice cracks.

"No – you're lying." Tony's voice comes out far harsher than he intends. "Tell me you're lying, Barton. Tell me where she is." He's pleading now, all desperation.

"Clint?" Steve prompts, his voice even and calm and Tony hates it, hates how he can be so fucking composed when Natasha isn't here. "Tell us what happened."

"The stone demanded a sacrifice," Clint says. "I tried to stop her, I really did." A sob wrenches its way out of his throat. "I fought her so that she wouldn't jump but she…" His laugh is a broken thing. Something inside Tony – the last remaining shard of hope – shatters at the sound. "She was too fast, too strong for me." He sinks his forehead onto Tony's shoulder despite the other man's aggressive hold. "It should have been me."

"No. No, that's not true, that's not…" Tony stumbles over the words. His head spins, light particles and dust molecules and oxygen swirl around him, taking no shape. His lungs don't work properly anymore. He sees her in his mind's eye, on some barren cliff on an alien planet, and the image doesn't make sense, it simply isn't possible. That she no longer exists somewhere in the world, that the universe isn't warmer for her presence, living and breathing, as certain as the Earth spinning on its axis. Tony wants to look out the windows because surely, surely without her the sun would crumble into ash and the atmosphere disappear and the world fall into smothering darkness because a world without Natasha – is not a world that can exist at all.

Clint raises his head and the grief in his eyes is as fathomless as the pit that yawns within Tony. A black hole to swallow them both and the world with them. Part of Tony wants to put his arms around Clint, hold onto the only person who can possibly understand this terrible, apocalyptic grief and emptiness. But the other part of him wants to push him away, to curse and scream, to fight time and fate and the universe itself.

That angry, resentful part wins out. He shoves Clint off and gets to his feet. "You're right," he snarls. "She's not the one who deserved to die."

"Tony!" Steve gasps in reproach, grabbing Tony's shoulder. But Clint only hangs his head in shame. "That was out of line," Steve reprimands.

"Out of line?" Tony echoes angrily. "Natasha is –" /dead/. He can't bring himself to say the word, to make it unbearably true and final. If he doesn't say it, he can pretend that maybe, maybe in another minute he'll see her again, and this time he'll wrap his arms around her, holding her properly so that she can't slip away again.

"She's gone," Steve says with sombre finality. The lines between his brows betray that he's already admitted defeat, and it makes Tony want to punch him in the face. "We've got to move on." The look of sympathy in his eyes, that implies I know how you feel, makes Tony sick to the stomach.

Tony's voice is freezing cold. "With all due respect, Cap," which is none, he adds silently, "Natasha isn't Peggy Carter. She didn't get to live a full life and achieve great things, and grow old, and die in her own bed surrounded by her children and grandchildren. She has so much life left to live!" He's vibrating with rage, and it's all he can do to stop himself from throwing hands with Captain America.

"She did," Steve agrees, squeezing Tony's shoulder in a way that's meant to be comforting but comes across as a pressure. "But she sacrificed herself for a cause, and we'll honour that. Make the price she paid worth it. We'll save the world. It's what she would want."

Tony glares, his anger freezes his veins and burns him from the inside out. "You don't get to tell me what Natasha would want." He pushes Steve's hand from his shoulder. "For someone who says he wants to save the world, you're awfully quick to give up on the people you love."

"You can't change the past, Tony," Steve urges, but Tony brushes past him roughly.

"No," he says with icy conviction. "I refuse to believe that. I didn't figure out time travel by admitting defeat. You might be able to move on, Steve," he adds scathingly. "But not me."

He marches to the console of the time travel machine. A cold fire burns at the edges of the black hole inside him, the only thing keeping it from engulfing him in despair. He's figured out time travel once, he can do it again. Especially when it's the life of the one person he loves more than anything else that's on the line.

He looks around the tense, grief-stricken faces of the gathered Avengers. Everyone Natasha loves – everyone who loves Natasha – in one room. Steve's arms are crossed and he frowns in disapproval, but Tony can't give a rat's ass what Captain America thought. "We want to save the world?" He puts it to the team. Bruce and Thor offer tentative nods, and that's good enough for him. "Good. We start by saving one of our own. It's only a victory if we all win together."

A spark lights up behind Clint's eyes. A glimmer of hope. Wordlessly, he gets to his feet and offers Tony the orange gem that sits in the palm of his hand. The Infinity Stone that Natasha gave her life for. A singularity of the birth of the universe, but a trinket compared to the singularity, the complexity, the paradox that is Natasha Romanoff.

As Tony takes the Stone from Clint's hand, a silent understanding passes between the two of them. They would trade all six Infinity Stones, a hundred times over, for Natasha's life and think it a bargain.

"New mission, team," he announces. It's a side quest in the grand scheme of the fate of the world, but it's also the only quest that's ever mattered. Because what good is saving the world if Natasha isn't in it? He adjusts the coordinates on the time travel machine and sets a course to Vormir. "We're gonna get Natasha back." Or he would die trying. Either way, he promises silently, I'll see you soon, honey.

[unhingedmarvelandclassicwhobuff]

If there’s anything we can agree on, it’s that Wanda maximoff was majorly screwed over in terms of character writing

Absolutely. As much as I adore Wanda, I paradoxically don't think any of her appearances were done well.

Age of Ultron comes pretty close by actually letting her nobility shine through and letting her call out Tony, but it falls short by not making it crystal-clear that she was never loyal to Hydra, and by not showing her react to what she indirectly caused in Johannesburg.

I feel like I shouldn't have to explain why I hate what's done with her in Civil War, but I'll do it anyway:

- the movie and the audience alike blame her for the casualties in Lagos instead of, y'know, the Hydra agent who actually set off the bomb - she isn't allowed to speak up when Tony starts condescendingly going "um, you all need to understand that people die in carnage 🤓" as if her fucking brother wasn't murdered by his creation, nor is she allowed to have any opinion at all on the document that will legally declare her a sub-human - Despite the movie trying to say she'd have to think about signing the Accords rather than instantly saying no like she really would, Tony goes over her head and kicks her off the Avengers roster and imprisons her so Ross can have an easier time getting her when he decides that she needs to be disposed of because it's now legal to do that to an Enhanced that you so much as suspect might be a threat. - For some reason people think SHE'S the one in the wrong when she subdues Vision (which literally makes her cry) in order to escape from Tony. - She gets blamed by the movie itself for Rhodey's injury (Vision saying he was "distracted" when he fired. What else could that mean?), most likely in order to make you think "serves that bitch right" when Tony sees her being tortured on the Raft and has zero reaction.

Infinity War probably comes the closest to being a good depiction of her, despite the fact that the Russo Brothers either couldn't care less about her, or outright dislike her for daring to have beef with Tony, who they worship. With that being said, her horrible sacrifice and subsequent nullification of it, as torturous as it is to watch, is legitimately good storytelling. Now if only the movie didn't try with zero irony to say that Thanos murdering Gamora was the same thing.

Her two minutes in Endgame are... fine, I guess. Her absolutely wiping the floor with Thanos is cool, but it's emotionally hollow because it's not the Thanos that took Vision from her. Also, the scene has been ruined for me by the official YouTube clip being flooded with comments going "OMG, this was such a great passing of the torch between the two biggest MCU villains." Like, fuck you! I guess I'm grateful that the laughably tone-deaf scene where everyone kneels before Tony's corpse was cut, because he directly harmed many of the people there, Wanda most of all. And then she never gets to learn that Tony's insistence against rewinding time is the reason Vision is gone for good.

WandaVision is supposed to be her big time in the spotlight. And it is... but it's still not worthy of her. Setting aside how annoying it was that no one was interested in Wanda at all while the show was being released and were only interested in how the series could be used as a vehicle to introduce stuff like mutants, the series made a massive error in prioritizing audience intrigue over character consistency. What do I mean by that? Well, pure and simple, the Wanda Maximoff I know and love would never, and I mean NEVER, be complicit in the enslavement and torture of 4,000 people (many of whom are children). And the show itself seems to agree with me, as the final few episodes make it crystal-clear she had no idea how this started or what the Hex was doing to anyone. There's just one problem with that; the majority of the show was implying she knew she was in full control (all those time resets, her throwing Monica out, her whole argument with Vision, her expanding the Hex). Clearly these moments were meant to keep the audience guessing as to what was really happening, but the result was Wanda being insanely out of character, and the show itself highlights that. So yeah, if Elizabeth Olsen wasn't so proud of the show, I would write it off completely despite how much I loved certain parts of it (mostly just the final two episodes for actually letting her be the hero she really is).

I have no kind words whatsoever for Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Fuck that movie. And fuck Marvel for letting Sam Raimi and Michael Waldron turn Wanda into a one-note slasher villain and making her many many haters feel validated. The fact that it was sheer incompetence that led to this and not open malice is honestly even worse, because that's how little this character is valued.

So yeah, while I love everything about Wanda as a person, she's way too good for any of the projects she appears in, and if I had my way I'd pluck her out of the MCU and put her in a universe where she can truly be loved and valued like she deserves to be (with her permission of course).

[bedlamsbard]

1, 21, 13 for the choose violence

1. the character everyone gets wrong

STEVE ROGERS. There's an overwhelming tendency to smooth down Steve's sharp edges and generally make him softer, sweeter, gentler, more innocent. This man is all sharp edges and while he's not always going to push himself past his limits, when he's holding himself back from them you can tell and it's -- it's very weird to see. It's most common in the ensemble films, like Avengers and AoU and Endgame, there's this air of like...restraint? And then the sharp edges come out when he gets too tired of holding himself back. One of my favorite Steve scenes is in CATWS, during the fight with Batroc, because it's a perfect kernel of Steve characterization. Not just the on va voir part, but the actual fight itself.

But also, like, Steve is mad ALL THE TIME. He's probably the angriest character in the MCU, Bruce Banner included. It's true from CATFA onwards. (I talk about his anger in CATFA a little in Horizon, so I won't reiterate it here.) I see Steve as someone who's always struggled with depression, and his anger is part of that, because he does have those lightning flickers from being functionally depressed and going through the motions to suddenly being blindingly, furiously angry -- Avengers is the most obvious example of this, but it turns up in AoU, CATWS, and CACW too; I don't think he ever hits angry in Endgame, though. He's functionally depressed but there's nothing in that film that kicks him into the anger side of it. (Caveat: my specific brainweasels function this way, which is why I read Steve's as doing so.)

also, uh, here is probably the really controversial read on Steve: there's a tendency in this fandom to give credit for anything and everything Steve does to his feelings about Bucky, and I don't...think that's true. yes, Steve cares a lot about Bucky, but it's a huge disservice to his character to say that Steve only went to Krausberg for Bucky or that he only crashed the Valkyrie because of Bucky or that he only destroyed SHIELD/HYDRA for Bucky or that he was only opposed to the Accords because of Bucky. sure, Bucky is a factor in most of those situations, but Steve would have done all of them anyway. give the man some credit for his own agency!

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

outside of this side of the fandom, probably Endgame, but that's a given. on the Tumblr/AO3 side of the fandom I don't think that's true at all lol.

in this side of the fandom -- uh, Thor, the first one. I've been going through Phase 1 lately and the first Thor film, which a lot of Thor and Loki fans I know feel very strongly about, is a chopped up mess -- I think it's the only film in the MCU that really, really suffers from having its deleted scenes removed, but even with those it's trying to do too many things at the same time and it can't give any of them enough space, plus its Asgard design is a hot mess -- TDW and later Ragnarok had to essentially bend over backwards to fix it. It does a lot of things very well, but it also does a lot of things not well at all. The Thor films are all inconsistent across the board, though; it's the weakest line in the entire MCU.

13. worst blorboficiation

I have THREE answers for this, all of which are bad in their specific ways, but for absolute worst: Tony Stark. I like Tony! He actually is a character I like! He is also super fucked up in ways that Tony fans just ignore or soften or whatever; the weirdest part to me is the desire to make Tony a ~soft dad to Peter, Shuri, Loki, Nebula...Morgan sometimes. This man took a fifteen-year-old kid to Germany to fight Captain America without telling him why, y'all. what about that says "good father figure" to you. he's also brutal to Bruce in IW.

the other two answers are Peggy Carter and Loki, which are pretty self-evident. I think I'd also actually put Natasha on this list, too, because she's another character who people really want to soften.

[kingofscoops]

Hi sweetie! For the for the 🎬 ask box game:

2 7 8 10 11 19 30 31 34 38 39 42

hii, this got long quick so i'm hiding under the cut hehe.

2. What movie do you wish you could unwatch?

Yes, there's probably more than one but the one that comes to mind the most is The Haunting of Redding Hospital, i like my horror movies and i thought this was gonna be an interesting one, but it was just so ridiculously boring i was annoyed at myself for buying it. (also i just looked at the reviews for it online and some people gave it 5 stars and i'm just thinking we're we even watching the same movie?! because it was garbage, pure utter predictable garbage)

7. Name a movie you’re emotionally attached to?

You've probably heard me talk about it several times by now, but it's The Goonies, was introduced to it by my late aunt when I was a kid and i've just loved it ever since.

8. What’s your comfort film?

Howl's Moving Castle, actually you know what make that just studio ghibli in general.

10. Most recent movie you saw in theaters?

Errrrrm... it's been a hot minute, i think it was Avengers Endgame, i keep meaning to go see more but i never remember what's on or coming out lol

11. A genre you just can’t stand.

i'd say probably romance, that's not me saying i've never watched anything from genre, there's probably movies in that genre i've watched and do enjoy, but romance can't be the sole genre for me it's gotta be woven in with something else or be like a minor side note in said movie. that and i just don't understand the appeal of some of them?

19. Name a movie so bad it’s good.

ThanksKilling, yeah from the outset it's a shitty produced thanksgiving themed horror, but if you're not taking the shitty production seriously then it's fucking hilarious, just don't watch the sequal ThanksKilling 3, it's kinda boring in comparison and i almost fell asleep watching it, no actually thinking about it i think i did genuinely half fall asleep while watching it lol - for reference i watched both of these as a lets watch with achievement hunter so it probably seemed funnier at the time lol.

30. Are you looking forward to any upcoming releases?

Well, since i finally watched Beetlejuice for the first time this this year, i'm currently looking forward to Beetlejuice Beetlejuice and it's pretty much the only thing i know currently soon releasing that i would actually consider watching.

31. Do you remember the first movie you saw in theaters?

I can't remember if it was the first first movie i ever saw in theaters but the earliest i can remember is A Bug's Life.

34. Which film is the most visually beautiful?

There's loads but it's hard to narrow down, so i am again just gonna answer, majority of the studio ghibli movies lol

38. In your opinion what is the most overrated movie?

There's not many i would considered overrated tbh? but there is something i don't plan on watching but i kept seeing ads for that i would maybe consider overrated? so yeah i kept seeing ads for This Ends With Us on constant repeat over on YT a while back, and while i understand the reason why the story has and is being told, both in movie and book form, i don't understand why anyone would want to go see a movie masking itself as a romantic movie when it's main plot point is about a women in an abusive relationship?

39. In your opinion what is the most underrated movie?

I haven't seen it in forever but I'm gonna go with Creep, and no not the 2014 movie of the same name people are probably thinking of that's about a videographer recording the wishes of a dying man? (idk i haven't watched it but may do in the future). No i'm talking about the 2004 movie called Creep, i'll try not to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it and may wish to watch but it revolves around a women getting trapped in the London Underground after missing her train home but she soon discovers she's not alone yada yada yada. I'll say it's underrated because, to me at least, it literally gets overshadowed by the movie of the same name and i never see this version ever get talked about, and it got me thinking of another horror/comedy called Severance (again not to be confused by the tv show of the same name) which i also haven't seen in forever. Put basically i think the British horror genre in general might be the one that's being made underrated lol.

42. Show me a pic of your favorite movie poster.

I don't have any movie posters up anymore unfortunately, but then i also have no space to put them, i do have an avengers infinity war/endgame canvas my parents got me for xmas one year, i know they knew i liked marvel but i'm not entirely sure the thought that process through as my rooms walls are more or less all covered by shelves or furniture of some sort, i guess it's the thought that counted huh? but anyway, here's a pic of fluff investigating the giant thing that i can't actually have in my room due to space lol

(it's currently in the corner of my parents room lol)

🍿🎬 Send me a movie ask 🎬🍿

[kitcat992]

Civil War is what happens when TPTB have a desired outcome - breaking up the Avengers - and no character-faithful way for that to happen. And Endgame is what happens when the franchise reaches its logical conclusion but isn't allowed to conclude, hence the dissatisfying character endings needed in order to explain their absence in later installments.

I've always said that, while I absolutely despise Endgame more than any other content on this planet Earth, if they had made that the final movie of the MCU it woulda been an easier pill to swallow. But, like you said, annie...

Also, the further we get from Civil War and the less I see it as the Avenger's "breaking up" which is actually quite hysterical when you truly think about it. The whole event/narrative was supposed to be "Omg this one thing tears apart the Avengers and they'll never be a team again and it's so sad and disheartening and what will the world ever do without them!" But then I look back and see that the Avengers were never a fucking team to begin with. We were handed breadcrumbs and then they were swept away with Civil War. The MCU had potential, but it was never actually good. We all just fell in love with that potential and gaslit ourselves to believe what we imagined was actually canon.

I go to my comics for the real Avengers. The movies were the shitty generic store brand Avengers that have been sitting on the shelf for so long they've expired but management doesn't wanna take care of the issue because it "looks nice to have the shelves filled up"

Anyway.

(btw, since every time I make one of these posts someone comes along and asks me if I'm "leaving the fandom" - I've been anti MCU since Civil War. I love the characters, though. I always have. Because the MCU doesn't own the characters, Marvel does. Steve Rogers doesn't belong to the MCU, Tony Stark doesn't belong to the MCU, and Peter Parker sure as hell doesn't belong to the MCU because his shared custody with Sony is more public than Kim Kardashian-whogivesafucks ass. I like using the MCU characters in my stories and I like reading MCU fics with the characters because the actors did a damn good job with the shit they were given. You can like the characters belonging to a fandom and not like the canon content itself. Just a friendly reminder to everyone who loves to tell me "don't like it leave.")

[withoutawar]

it's come to my attention that there may be some misunderstanding around the url withoutawar. it's in reference to when ultron calls steve, ' god's righteous man, pretending you could live without a war. ' and what steve says to tony at the end of the movie, ‘ family, stability ? the guy who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. i think someone else came out. ’ pair this with peggy telling steve that she has lived a life, and her only regret is that he didn’t get to live his is interpreted on this blog as steve taking a step forward in moving on from his lost past ( because up until that point, he was a man out of time. ) 

it is not in reference to steve passing on the shield and supposedly retiring ( fanon ), getting trapped in and / or returning to the past ( au. ) on this blog he doesn't actually retire. returning the stones is his final act as captain america. what he sees on the journey, glimpses of time that he missed / could have had, glimpses of worlds beyond his imagination . . . it certainly puts things into perspective but it's not enough for steve to disappear from the world, to not be there when there's the smallest possibility he might be needed. his past, and what his future could have been will always be there to taunt him - we see that first hand when he freezes when he sees peggy in the 1970s retrieving the extra pym particles. 

steve struggling  with what he’s going to do with himself is not a cap issue, it's a steve issue because it started before the serum. it started when he was the smallest kid in class and couldn't protect himself or others from the bullies. it continued when he was older and couldn't help his sick mother put away groceries because the flu that season hit him harder than her. it manifested when every other man was either volunteering or being drafted into the war and he viewed his illnesses as a get out of jail free card. the notion of ' going home after the war ' is stripped from him the minute he takes the serum and instead of america ' getting an army, all they got was him. '

now that is childhood trauma on top of the expectations he placed on himself after the serum that he has to overcome to even feel like he deserves to have a break, or a life outside of being of service. he hasn't even thought about it come 2-3 years out of the ice. 4 years later, tony actually has to remind him that the reason they fight is so they can go home afterwards and steve's like a home ??? what is that. he says he’s home gazing off at the avengers compound. and maybe it can be interpreted that he means he’s home in this ‘ time ’ now, which is another hurdle he had to overcome. i strongly believe this was a turning point for him. he had 5 years to think about it after thanos fucked the world in half --- but losing to thanos only added to that hatred of feeling helpless and honestly, left him with more issues despite giving him the opportunity in the form of time to heal.

steve has many struggles but this blog does predominantly ( at least current phase ) explore the obligation steve feels to serve the world because of the gift he was given in the form of the serum, how the serum itself is like any other power e.g. thor's lightning, tony's armour but because it physically makes steve up he cannot separate himself from it, and he cannot separate himself from his service to his country and the world. there will need to be a shift in the way he views himself, the way he talks and treats himself, the way he views the serum, and a drastic shift in his priorities for him to ever not serve ( even though the definition of that has varied through the years. ) endgame was bogus for a lot of reasons but the number 1 reason is that they didn't provide us with when or why that shift happened.

people argue that steve and / or cap is a boring character because he’s apparently a fully fledged good man  straight out of the womb, whereas the traditional journey a lot of other characters take is redemption, or finding themselves etc. this doesn’t apply to steve, as much, but he does still have a lot of growing to do, and because we were robbed of that in what should have been the 3rd cap movie . . . i explore that on this blog. i’m not turning down the possibility of steve eventually learned to put down the fight, but that it needs to come through plot / verse exploration and i’m down to figure it out.

[seeingthestarsmakesmedream]

Barbenheimer.

I know, I know, it seems like I'm a late bloomer, but we have actually seen BARBENHEIMER on the premier day. (It was fucking awesome, but let's get back to this later.) But then came a week long hiking holiday, than a rush with work to make it according to the schedule etc etc. Plus I wanted to see Barbie one more time with other friends too (which happened last week), so I only sat down now to reflect about these two movies.

One of the most important thing with this whole shenanigan, that this was a peak cinematic experience. I knew at the time that I'm gonna take a flight in two-days and spending a whole week with my best friend in Portugal and I didn't even give a shit about that :D On the premier day I was so friggin excited about the evening that I couldn't work. I don't remember when was the last time I was THIS HYPED about cinema. Maybe Avengers: Endgame? I'm not sure. Probably way before.

I felt the same excitement I felt when I was 4 year old and I was only at the cinema once a year. (Only with a little bit more knowledge and movie buff attitude now ;) ). And sharing and experiencing it with others.... Standing in the mass, large groups in pink, one group of guys (around 15 of them) in black suits? They had a photoshoot after Barbie during the credits :D The anticipation, the knowing smiles, the whole 'yeah, this is something BIG'. It was awesome. And this was two "independent" film, not part of any franchise. So yeah, as a cinema lover, it was beautiful and worthed every minute of seven month of waiting since they dropped the atombomb ( ;) ) on us with the 2001: space odyssey-styled trailer (I don't even need to explain that I waited for Oppenheimer. It's a Nolan movie. He directs something, I'm going to the cinema. It's that simple. :D )

Are they the greatest movies of all time? No. Are they really-really great? Yes. Was seeing them together epic? Absolutely. One of my friends said that the fact that we saw not one but TWO extremely good movies in one day at the cinema is the rarest experience ever.

I don't want to go deeply in details, because everyone else did it before me. and it would be a little novel at the end, but some comments here:

For first watch Barbie was good but a little bit cheesy and over the top with its messages. I was plot-oriented here focusing mainly on the story.

For second watch it was hilarious. My best friend and I were cracking up the whole time. Greta Gerwig is sooo smart (Noah Baumbach is also great. Two of the greatest contemporary screenwriters... and they are married. I love this fact for years now.) So many fantastic one-liners with extreme amount of subtle or not so subtle critics on society... hell yeah. It is perfectly balanced how it takes itself seriously and how makes itself a parody. The I'm Just Ken fight sequence with the 80s music/90s boyband look, how it is in the same time a silly little musical parody and a proper message about incel-culture, growing-up, manhood, believing in yourself and in your community (it doesn't matter if it's a friend group, a family, anything just be a group of people you can trust).... and they are literally fighting on a plastic beach with plastic toys.... incredible.

The barbies are empowering each other, without jelousy without any hidden reason. They are just nice and happy for each other? During the story they listen to each other and help everyone? Group together, making plans, executing it, and at the end reflect on their previous behavior and mistakes and learn from it??? That's what we want to see! Thanks Greta ;)

3. On premier day we had 25 minutes between the two movies. Rewire our mindsets and let's go.

4. Oppenheimer was good. Far from the best Nolan movies but still masterly crafted. It isn't a classic Nolan-movie in the way that here he doesn't really play with time. (Yes-yes there are multiple episodes in time waved together, but come on, this narrative method is not uncommon in other movies too, and our Chris here usually does ten times crazier tricks with times in his films.) It's a great biopic, you are curious even if you know that the bomb exploded (three times....), because the method and the precision how it is told is professional. Always nice to watch movies where the director clearly knows their craft. (I mean it for both of these movies). And honestly what made it even better for me that the final take of the movie (in my opinion) is that we as humanity and Oppenheimer with the Manhattan-project fucked up. They did something huge in scientific sense and something unbelievebly terrible with CONSEQUENCES. He may be the protagonist but I don't think he is a hero. Regarding their achievements.

5. Also hey, hungarian scientists, good to see you guys! Leó Szilárd and Ede Teller. Yay!!! Whatever were their life-choices, it makes my heart proud to see them in a big budget movie.

So yeah. That's it. Go, see these movies if you haven't before! They are worth it.

[tomhollandfics]

Peter Parker [Favourites]

this is an overview of some of the best peter parker fics out there - this list covers all tropes

* = smut

* Don't Hold Back - @hollandcrush

two hormonal students wander into a room during a frat party, what could possibly happen? maybe you discover that under his heart made of pure gold lurks a hidden powerful, dominant side

Sunset Lovers - @duskholland

you’ve never met your soulmate, but you know his handwriting like the back of your hand...literally - every word your soulmate writes on his skin appears on yours, and vice versa - you’re desperate to meet him, but until the universe decides to introduce you, you’re stuck with scribbled smiley faces and chemistry formulae

Was It Worth It - @kelieah

reader and peter are married with a baby, after every mission she questions if it “was it worth it” but as she becomes muddled up in a dangerous mission, peter doesn't know if it is worth it anymore

Disappointed - @dlwritings

the events of endgame have taken their toll on peter - unfortunately, this means you’re left picking up his broken pieces, and you’re not sure how much more strength you have to help him

His Plan - @dlwritings

you’re far too shy to tell peter how you feel about him - you always have been, he’s shy about it too, but decides to bite the bullet and confess a couple things to you on the school trip to europe - his plan doesn’t, however, account for you feeling the same

*The Storm - @starlordsandrockets

peter parker was the last person you wanted to be partnered with for your class presentation - now you were forced to spend the day with him but your loathing soon turns into something quite different when the day is over

Just For Tonight - @cloudybarnes

peter accidentally tells the avengers he has a girlfriend and now they all wanna meet her. in an attempt to not look like a liar, he recruits his best friend y/n to fake date him for the night so he can introduce them to her

* What Good Boys Do - @vampireinbusiness

can you do one about shy peter and his love for readers short skirts like he gets so flustered seeing her in them but he always touches her and him going down on his knees to eat her out with them on

Remember That Night - @tinyyoungblood

peter spends a night on omegle and comes across a sleeping girl. peter decides not to skip her - he reads to her and talks to her about his problems, and when she finally wakes, they lose themselves in endless conversation until she hits him with the “see you in a different life, bye peter

Better Half - @ptersmj

where you fall asleep on peters lap after a mission and he just takes care of you?

Trouble In Paradise - @ptersmj

peter loves giving y/n hickies - when they at a pool party with the rest of the avengers, everyone starts teasing her about them

Honor - @itsapeterthing

your best friend peter parker who has a secret crush on you catches your boyfriend cheating with another girl

Invisible String (Series) - @peterbenjiparker

you were content with the way your life was, until you woke up with a red string wound around your fingertips and the red string just had to link you to your best friend, peter - now you were subjected to a possible life of no love as you watched peter, your soulmate, fall for someone else all the while getting fucked over by the universe in the worst way possible

Drunk On You - @peterbenjiparker

peter calls you from a frat party after getting drunk to get over you while you were out on a date

* Your Mess - @peterbenjiparker

peter got drunk at flash's party and you have to take care of him

* Wet Dreams - @selfcarecap

what the title says - also, friends to lovers

Time After Time (Series)- @softspideys

peter parker is your worst enemy, but he’s also your soulmate. life is funny that way

Sweet Dreams, Parker - @marvelousmrsmarvel

being a full-time student is exhausting in itself, let alone being an avenger as well. you and peter both knew the feeling a little too well. so, when peter is losing sleep over finals week, you step in to help get his sleeping schedule back on track

Of Sleep & Safety - @florenceyelena

in which peter parker slumps into your room exhausted and you have to try and get him into bed despite the height difference between you

Can't Lose You - @ms-misery

you're trying to get over your best friend but no matter how hard you try you just can't seem to do it

* Secret - @celestialbarnes

you and peter have been dating for a few months now, and in order to keep your dad and the team in the dark, you two sneak around, not knowing that the entire team already knew, everyone but tony of course, chaos ensues

Cuddles - @parkersdoll

peter has a bad day, all he can think about is you

Can't Escape (Series)- @asonofpeter

life moves fast out in the suburbs, you live the perfect life with your mother and father but when you start to crave for more meaning in life than just westview, your mother does every thing in her power to make sure you don’t leave - can you ever imagine what’s on the other side of ellis avenue?

* Vacation (Series) - @scarletspideyy

it’s peter parker’s senior year class trip, all he wants is a break from the stress of high school and his spider-man duties - to his surprise, he gets the vacation he always wanted but it doesn’t come without its own personal trouble; love

* Break It In - @simplyparker

peter gets his first car, and you want to have some fun

Hopelessly Devoted To You - @spiritualchange

what can he say, peter is just devoted to you

* The Birthday Boy - @noobsquasher

it's peter's birthday and you celebrate it by giving him a memorable lap dance

Perfectly A Little Late - @t-lostinworlds

with all things college, two jobs, tutoring on weekends and another at the bakery downtown, you're one busy girl - peter completely understands that of course, admires it even but it doesn't make it sting any less when you just so happen to forget about his birthday

Kiss Me More - @celestialholland

you and peter make out for the first time

* Pretend I'm Not Here - @thighs-of-betrayal-blog

peter asking you to touch yourself in front of him like you do when you're alone

Caffeine - @waitimcomingtoo

peter’s shyness makes him an easy target at his new job, but one co-worker always stands up for him

* Rings, Rings, Rings - @vintagemulti

in which your boyfriends newfound love towards jewellery affects you more than you expected

Halftime - @eloquenceflores

your cute nerdy bf takes care of you during the half-time of the football game you’re cheering at

[buckymilf]

When there's a discussion on whether Steve's ending was good or not, there's one thing that actually bothers me, and it's when people say that it was always meant to happen because it was already planned and the entirety of Steve's arc throughout the movies was purposely made to have that ending regardless. Like, that's just not true.

The creators confirmed a few times that the script for Endgame had a lot of changes and that they had different versions for the movie. I'm pretty sure that the Russos said at one point that in one of these versions Steve died during the battle and was decapitated. Steve dying was an option, and probably one that was going to follow through because it would just be easier and it wouldn't leave the public confused after previously stablishing a good and understandable enough explanation for time travel. It would also save Marvel from now having to explain what happened after Steve came back, the comment in FATWS about people believing that he's on the moon, and having to keep everything vague enough for the possibility of Evans agreeing to come back.

But the evidence of this ending definitely not being planned years before it's the movie itself. If Steve was really meant to end up with Peggy, they wouldn't need to bring her up so many times during the movie, it shouldn't be necessary to explain again and again how much she means to him, that's something that the audience should already know. When there's Civil War discourse people argue about who's right, the political perspective of Tony and Steve, whether Steve should've told Tony about his parents, or if he shouldn't have dragged the other avengers to battle, whatever, but I've never seen people question why he's so intent on defending his views and protecting Bucky from the government, because in CAFTA and CATWS the audience got to see and understand that Steve acts based on what he thinks is right and that Bucky is important to him. It's stablished, and so in Civil War people don't need flashbacks of the 40's or constant reminders to understand Steve's actions.

If Steve talked about his friends that were gone with the snap in the group therapy session, if the compass was replaced for a wrinkled photo of him with Sam and Nat or if he paid attention to SHIELD'S basement when he went to get the capsules and saw traces of Zola's work, and even then, ended up going back to the past, many more people than it did when the movie came out would get really upset about his ending. I mean, one of the main reasons why some people didn't believe the spoilers when they were leaked on Reddit was Steve's ending making no sense. Of course they had to try to make it seem like not getting to be with Peggy was Steve's biggest regret, because what the audience knew about them together was that that she was kind of the first woman that paid attention to him, she kissed him once, then told him that he had to live his life because she already had, and then enter his new love interest. If his ending was meant to be like that and was really planned in advance, we wouldn't need constant reminders of her character and their relationship, and in the previous movies it would've been clear that Steve hadn't moved on and that him being in the 21st century was still his biggest problem.

At the end of the day is media, you can like it or not, but there's no need to try to justify the way that a multimillionaire company fucks up characters' storylines and characterisation.

THIS 👆👆👆 FUCKING THIS 👆👆

you know what i think it's the sickest part? if they wanted us to belive that peggy was the most important thing in Steve's life, enough for him to comeback to the fucking segregation era, that they were always "mean to be" why would they made him kiss her niece???

it's clear that marvel just wanted the most heteronormative ending possible for the character, even if that means ruining his entire arch, beliefs, and ignore the best mcu trilogy aka the Capitan America one.

[multifunctionalnitroglycerin]

I wanted to second the thought that perhaps it's not John that named her Alecto, as he does seem pretty insistent on calling her Annabel. We see that even at the end of Nona where the imagery of Alecto's appearance in his chambers would be at least a bit disturbing and probably would not inspire a "hello Annabel" if it were anyone but John.

I love the idea that it might have been Augustine, that appointed A.L. with the name Alecto. The classicist history nerd makes classicist historical reference when referring to a monstrous - through his eyes- being.

I personally like the idea, that Alecto chose that name for herself, after starting to understand a few things, and perhaps interacting with some of the Lyctors (Augustine), unlikely though it may be. There is power in a name and power in choosing one, so the whole "Who named Alecto, Alecto?" is I feel important in shedding some light in another aspect of character dynamics.

As for the name itself, as I have mentioned before, and so does @direquail, Alecto for the Ancient Greeks was the divine personification of fury, and meting out punishment to mortals that upset the natural and ethical order of things.

And it is so fitting. It embraces John's own rage at the powerful figures of his world that kill the earth he so loves, and Alecto's righteous fury at what has been done to her, by them and by John himself. She is the fury of the earth taken, cut and sewn in John's measures, she is the fury of all the souls taken before their time, and the lingering reminder of John's failure haunting him with every step.

Because John sees himself as the Earth's avenger, and gets his power from her. It's her own rage that fuels him, and bleeds over to him.

I think at least that we can create that mirror, or better yet extention between John and Alecto, and their core two characteristics that bleed through to one another (following Pal's theory). Alecto's rage and hurt, and John's love and despair.

We see John getting more and more vindictive -cruel almost in his calm fury- as the books go by, with the peak of it being Mercymorn's death, (not nearly as clean as the one she granted him). How much of that rage was his own? How much of it has bled over from the soul of a planet that suffered for centuries?

And then we have Alecto, who initially knows not what love is, that says it without understanding it and slowly learns through Nona's eyes, what it is like to love and be loved, and in the end understands, and realizes that you cannot take loved away. How much of that despair need to love and be loved is hers and how much is John's ?

The vengeful rage is neither his nor hers, but theirs, as is their will to met out punishment. I am not sure if Alecto will be John's endgame with the story coming full circle, or if they'll both follow the same course in a last ditch attempt to fix a 10.000 year old mistake, but I think we can all agree that Alecto is John's very own Fury, a reminder of his love, despair and failure, one that will inevitably met out her punishment for his failures (Including his failure of loving her as wholly as he promised to), matching him beat for beat ( see Cassiopeia telling him that he is less interested in saving anyone than he is in meting out punishment).

So instead of feminine rage, I'd say righteous rage. A cry calling for justice for the oppressed, and needy. A righteous rage, a plea to return to or create a new order of things, that is not exclusively Alecto's or John's, but theirs. We cannot have one without the other, the lines are entirely too blurry now.

She is the divine and he is her hand. He is her rage and she is his love, and fuck if it isn't messy as heck.

One of the many things I find funny and irritating is the slant of a lot of interpretations of Alecto's name (that it's about feminine rage)--on this here wlw internet in the year of our lord 2024, it's easily made to figure as rage against God, or rage against patriarchy, or religious oppression, and therefore an allusion to the idea that she's going to get her vengeance on John for betraying and oppressing her somehow, but like

John is the one who named her Alecto. He's the one who named her that. So, naming her "Alecto" is alluding to the embodiment of John's rage--their rage, since they are joined inseparably (John even explicitly says that when he first perceives her: "You wouldn't stop screaming. You were so scared. You were so goddamn mad").

He says of Alecto to Harrow, "In a very real way, you are [Alecto's] children". At a very surface level, Alecto is (depending on the text or tradition), one of the Furies--famously, in several surviving Greek tragedies, who punish Orestes for the crime of killing his mother. In fact, in Aeschylus' Oresteia, they declare that they are specifically bound to avenge matricide.

So the name "Alecto" alludes to the nature of John's mission and how he sees it.

It also implies that his divine rage, the rage that gives him power, the power that makes him divine, that he either represents or wants to represent, is feminine rage. He was chosen by Earth (which, Furies are sometimes the daughters of Gaia); he is her champion, however he's managed to fuck that up. Once the truth of that comes out, it becomes clear that all of his power comes from her.

And that's why you get statements from Tamsyn Muir like:

“[T]he God of the Locked Tomb IS a man; he IS the Father and the Teacher; it’s an inherently masc role played by someone who has an uneasy relationship himself to playing a Biblical patriarch. John falls back on hierarchies and roles because they’re familiar even when he’s struggling not to. Even he identifies himself as the God who became man and the man who became God. But the divine in the Locked Tomb is essentially feminine on multiple axes – I think Nona will illuminate that a little bit more."

So yes, he plays the role of Emperor and God and Teacher, with all of the things that implies. And I don't think it should be discounted. But he also is (and partly sees himself as) the chosen champion of a goddess, or what is for all intents & purposes for a human like him a goddess. He is her avenger, and while she sleeps, her avatar.

And I don't think we're meant to read him purely as a parasite who's taking advantage of her to gain power for himself, either. Or an oppressive, Kronos-like figure. Especially if you consider Palamedes' theory of the Grand Lysis, even if he was purely motivated by desire for power before (which I really doubt), there are parts of each in the other, now. What was clear and separate before is uncertain and interpenetrated. Is his rage his own, or hers? Is his mission of revenge his, or hers? If he wants power, is that his own selfishness, or her desire to survive?

And does it matter?

[urmomsstuntdouble]

might be copium but i dont think the dsmp season 1 ending was actually like as bad as people think it was? i know that sounds wild but like. here me out. i still dogshit and not written well but i think theres actually a little bit of an indication that its not as abysmally shitty as at first glance

for those who havent seen it yet it ended with the prison getting nuked with everyone inside and they all died, and then there was a white screen and the characters reappear in a new (?) world, seemingly not knowing who each other are. it ends with tommy asking dream if he wants to be friends and with him and tubbo not recognizing each other. which i dont like in the slightest btw. like its designed to make people curious about whats coming next sure but it does so in the worst possible way at the worst possible time and its a bit infuriating

the thing that gives me a sliver of hope though is tommy’s outro. in it he said that, going forward, the couple seconds of white at the end will be referred to as “the incident.” or something like that i dont actually remember lol. anyway i think that they’re taking some heavy fuckin inspiration from the mcu (which is also a pile of dogshit and not well written!) and the aftermath of the thanos snap and everyone getting un-dusted after it’s over, just based on the way that tommys streams have appeared with the fuckin. spiderman references and how this ending was also so heavily lifted from the disc finale from 2021 which itself was so inspired by avengers endgame and all that jazz

its honestly not surprising that the story sucked, given that its taking inspiration from a franchise that also sucks. still very unfortunate though and im just like. okay? fuckin do something better next time pls. anyway i say all this to say that i think its possible that they havent actually completely forgotten about everything from the first run of the world, and with the concept of the afterlife that exists within the dsmp..idk

i would also like to make it clear that i dont think this is going to be well written, at least not for a while. the dsmp hasn’t been good since people regularly streamed on it and i dont think we’re ever getting that back.  but like, i think that there is hope and that they haven’t completely destroyed everything (just most things). also, to speculate a tiny bit, i dont think the ending is entirely just them going “hey you know what would be cool? if we all fucking died and undid everything!” i think that what’s happened with season 1 is that they wrote themselves into a corner where there was no possibility for a satisfying ending, and with the months and months of no lore and the conflict between irl time passing and time passing in the server, it just couldn’t be salvageable. once again, do i think this was a good idea? no. not at all, i think that this is taking a shitty route out of a shitty situation, although i understand why that choice may have been made. 

while we dont really know anything about season 2 or whatever i sincerely fucking hope that whatever it is, if it ever gets made, has more coherent writing and that they don’t shoot themselves in the feet again with creating impossible stakes that can only end poorly

[matchbookarmy]

Beckon Me Home by Winterstar

Rating: Explicit

Summary: A change in circumstances switches the tables on Tony. When an assassination attempt leaves Steve debilitated, Tony is his only hope. In order to save Steve, he might very well have to suffer the same fate as Steve. A story about the paradox of love.

Why I'm Reccing: This is a top tier fic and I think, an underrated fic. I love this fic. I love it so much. This is the fourth of the amazing time travel fics that I have encountered so far. And I want to say, this fic is absolutely breathtaking, but in a different way than other fics I've used that word to describe. Usually if I say a fic is breathtaking, I mean that the prose itself is poetic and a work of art. With this fic, it's the plot that takes my breath away.

It is just incredibly well plotted speculative fantasy (which I've been really getting into lately). There is a clearly defined beginning, middle and ending arc to this story, and it feels like something that could be on a store bookshelf. I've talked previously about books that bring me joy in the same way fic does -- well, this fic brought me joy in the same way SFF books do. After I finished my reread least night, I had that same sort of feeling I get after finishing an amazing book (I call it the book hangover). Like, I'd already read it, and knew everything that would happen, but after I finished, it just sat in my brain, stewing there, and wouldn't let go.

I love this fic so much that I really need to wax poetic about it a moment, so I'll put the bulk of this under a cut to save everyone's dash.

It's hard to talk about this fic without spoiling things, but I'll give it my best shot. Shortly after the events of Avengers, someone attempts to assassinate Steve, and Tony is the only one who can save his life. To avoid as many spoilers as possible, I'll just say that saving Steve's life involves the two of them time travelling back to the moment when Steve meets Dr. Erskine.

Unfortunately, the trip seems like it might be a one way trip, and after saving Steve's life, Tony and Steve find themselves trapped in the 1940s. For weeks. Months, maybe. So, what this fic does, and it does it so beautifully, is it flips the script on Tony and Steve.

Remember, Steve had only been awake in the present for a really short time when Avengers happens. So, now he's back in his comfort zone, and Tony is the one who is a man out of time. And... he doesn't handle it very well. Which allows for some really nice character analysis for Steve and Tony and how they each handle their respective circumstances of being cut off from everything they know and love and understand.

I found this all really interesting, because (timelines are slightly fuzzy here, but) it seems like Tony actually spends more time in the 1940s than Steve has spent in 2012 at this point, and while you can certainly make the argument that it's harder to go back in time than it is to go forward in time, it's really interesting to see how Tony deals with (or doesn't) their current situation, and how it impacts his impression of Steve and everything that Steve has gone through.

We also get Steve caring for Tony as he becomes increasingly distressed and frantic as he tries to find a way to get them back to the present. This is also very much an idiots in love fic, as Steve is so obviously head-over-heals in love with Tony, but Tony is completely oblivious.

They both make some highly questionable decisions as they each come to terms with their feelings for the other (all the while assuming the other doesn't feel the same way) and there are definite moments where you want to smack them both up the backside of their head and scream get your fucking shit together! Lol. But that's what makes it all the more satisfying when they finally do.

Also, Steve and Tony have some discussions in this fic (okay, arguments) that, ah, really put into perspective how bad Steve's ending in Endgame really was. It was really interesting to read this (which was published in 2013) knowing where the MCU would eventually take Steve. All the more reason fandom will always be better than canon. Fandom has a way better handle on who the characters are.

Anyway, this is a top-tier fic for me. I don't know what constitutes underrated, but this fic has less than 500 kudos, which feels absolutely absurd to me. So, I hope you'll all show it some love.

[justsomeoneunordinary]

Hi, yes, I know it’s been two and a half years. It’s been two and a half years but I’m still not over that shitshow that calls itself ‘Avengers: Endgame’.  

You know what irritates me the most? Above Tony’s death, above that shitty ending, above Professor Hulk and Nat’s self-sacrifice and Gamora who isn’t our Gamora but a different one and all those bad, bad character arcs in general?

What irritates me the most is that stupid, dumbass, ill-conceived 5-year-gap between Infinity War and Endgame.

It’s shock value. Nothing but pure shock value. There was not a single braincell involved when the writers decided to go with that route. They only had one question in mind and that was “how can we shock our audience the most?” and yes, congratulations, mission accomplished you fucking idiots!

But how, how on earth do you plan something like that without a single thought of the consequences? How do you write a world where half of the population of the entire universe vanishes and then of a sudden reappears 5 years later as if not a second has passed for them, without answering the questions of

1. Hey, what’s with all those who have moved on meanwhile? Who have found new families/lovers/made a new life? Being suddenly confronted with their old family/loved ones being back? Just… you know… 5 years younger, which can, depending on age, be quite a huge deal?

2. What’s with those who couldn’t move on? Who might’ve harmed themselves because they couldn’t go on with having everyone lost?

3. What’s with those who did blip and then suddenly have to orient themselves within these new circumstances?

4. And so many questions that were already asked post-Infinity War: didn’t technically more die due to accidents during the snap? Not to mention that the world in itself must’ve changed a great deal when this many people disappear suddenly. Economy, living conditions, environment in general—where’s the world building? Where are the explanations?

5. Is the MCU aware that every following movie/series plays now in 2023? Considering how often they already messed up with the numbers I wouldn’t be surprised even a single bit if they forgot. (Which is extremely embarrassing for such a huge franchise.)

Like, ‘Spiderman Far From Home’ technically should’ve answered all those questions, instead they just made jokes about it, like that one boy explaining that his younger brother is suddenly older than him. Was that supposed to be funny? It’s not funny, it’s confusing, it’s weird, it’s life-changing!

Those writers really didn’t think even a single bit when they decided to go with that 5-year-gap. They could’ve done 5 months instead! 5 months would’ve been still shocking, because none of us would’ve expected this much time to pass until the Avengers avenge, and they still could’ve easily shown how in that time Thor developed depression, Clint went murdering people, Bruce experimented on himself a bit too far (though, rather not to be honest, fuck that Professor Hulk bullshit what the hell even) etc.

Sure, we wouldn’t’ve gotten Iron Fam which is a pity (unless they made Tony survive wielding the gauntlet and giving us a view into the future with happy retired Iron Fam, thank you very much), but all in all still much more reasonable than letting 5 years pass unnecessarily.

Honestly, fuck Endgame solely for that alone. Fuck the writers. And fuck everyone who approved going with that incredibly bad route of wannabe story telling.

[ace-oreos]

James B. Barnes and the Complicated Art of Being a Person Ch. 2

My first venture into Marvel fanfic cross-posted from Ao3. Post-Endgame, pre-The Falcon and the Winter Soldier era Bucky coming to terms with everything that's happened since Civil War.

Bucky Barnes has the chance to start over.

Except he isn't starting over, not really. This is more of a... a retake. A correction. A chance to pick up where he left off, back in 1945. Only the Brooklyn of the twenty-first century isn't the Brooklyn he remembers, and there's no Steve Rogers here to keep him on track. Nothing is anywhere close to how it used to be.

But there's no Winter Soldier, either. Which means Bucky might actually have a chance to make a life for himself.

Right?

9:14 A.M.: Missed call from Sam Wilson

9:17 A.M.: Voicemail from Sam Wilson

Bucky stares at the screen. Sighs. Presses play. 

Sam’s voice echoes too loudly in the near-empty apartment.

“Hey, Bucky. I know this is kinda weird, but uh… I dunno, just thought I should reach out, I guess, I know I texted you the other - yeah. Anyway, I hope you’re not, like, scaring your neighbors by singing Russian lullabies or something.”

Sam pauses here. Bucky is about ready to delete the message when there’s a rough sound like a throat being cleared. 

“I know it’s probably been especially hard since Steve - well, we’re right there with ya. We all miss him.” Another pause. A deep breath. Sam’s voice is steadier when he continues. “You don’t have to call me back or anything like that. Just promise you won’t - God, I don’t know, bash anyone’s skull in? Stab someone who’s just taking out their trash or something?” 

Sam allows himself a chuckle at his own humor. “Alright, I gotta go. Take care, Buck.” 

Bucky lets the remainder of the message run itself out. He doesn’t know what to make of it, except he’s sure he doesn’t like someone he barely knows calling him Buck and that Wilson doesn’t know the half of what he’s poking at, Steve and lullabies and all. 

(He tells himself he’ll get around to deleting it later.) 

There’s something of an underlying challenge from Sam, too. Bucky translates the whole try not to murder anyone spiel to try to act like you’re not the most unstable old man this side of the 1950s. The kid’s a real comedian. 

A dangerous defiance sets his nerves buzzing. So Wilson thinks Bucky can’t handle being left to his own devices. And maybe he can’t, but that’s hardly Sam’s business. Fucking Avengers sticking their noses where they don’t belong. Last Bucky checked, this is his deal to figure out. Him and SHIELD and a good chunk of the U.S. intelligence community. They’d tried to hide that one from him, but it isn’t his fault their surveillance isn’t exactly subtle. 

Feeling a spike of anger at it all, Bucky grabs his keys and pounds downstairs. There’s a coffee shop a few doors down that he’s only thought about in passing but is now unequivocally his destination. He probably shouldn’t be going into this - unknown territory, for all intents and purposes - all riled up, but he has a point to make. 

The anger carries him through the door and abruptly falters as soon as he’s far enough inside that turning back now would be too obvious. It’s a small place, all dark wood and soft lighting, with a steady stream of people manuevering between the tables.

Hmm. Maybe this isn’t such a hot idea. 

Goddamn it, Barnes. 

“Fuck it,” he mutters aloud. It’s a coffee shop, for God’s sake. He can handle this. 

But there really are a lot of people here. He eyes them warily, and so far the most he gets in return is a puzzled glance.

He tries to focus on the chalkboard menu mounted behind the small counter. It’s almost alarming how many options there are. He doesn’t know what most of them even are, so he decides the safest route is a simple black coffee like he could’ve made at home if he was thinking clearly for once. 

Black coffee, he repeats firmly, trying to ignore the uncomfortable itch that’s crawling up his spine. There are too many people here. Too many eyes on him. He can’t see the door, and there’s already a few people queuing up behind him. He’s effectively stuck. 

Bucky is out of his depth in a fucking coffee shop. He’s not sure he can fully comprehend the sheer stupidity of it all. 

He arrives at the counter much sooner than he would have liked and waits patiently for the young woman to turn her attention to him. It’s two words. Five, if you counted please and thank you like his mom would’ve wanted. His mom. What would she say if she could see her son - 

“Can I help you?” the woman asks before she’s fully facing him. After handing a steaming cup to another customer, she turns her eyes to him expectantly, and her smile falters.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

He rushes through his order before she can start asking questions. “Um. Just a black coffee, please.” His voice catches in a way he thought HYDRA had drilled out of him. “Thanks.” 

Her smile returns, but there’s more cracks in it than there were before. “Size?” she asks, poised to retrieve a cup from the stack of Styrofoam behind the counter.

“Small,” he manages. 

Just when he thinks he’s managed to muddle through this, she uncaps a marker and holds it ready to scrawl on the cup. “Can I have your name, please?” 

“James,” he says without thinking. It feels strange in his mouth. 

He fumbles with his wallet and passes over the bills with an unsteady hand. If the woman notices, she doesn’t comment. He’s inordinately grateful for that. 

He slinks to the back corner to wait. His heart hammers in his chest, and it takes a few deliberate breaths before it starts to slow. He’s still uncomfortably aware of the glances that are coming his way more frequently now, but he does his best to paste a bland approximation of a smile on his face and fixes his gaze on the opposite wall. 

Bucky shifts his weight from one foot to the other while he waits. How long does it take to make a cup of coffee? 

Just when he’s convinced he can’t take much more of this - there’s still no way to make a quick exit, damn it - the woman holds up a cup and calls, “Black coffee for James?” 

He crosses the distance to the counter and takes it with mumbled thanks. He pauses long enough to grab a napkin, then beats a hasty retreat through the press of people and out the door. He doesn’t let out a sigh of relief until he’s put a good distance between himself and the storefront. 

Systems check, he thinks as he takes a cautious sip. He smiles despite himself when the first word that comes to mind is shitty. He may be a complete fucking mess, but at least he knows it, right? 

The coffee isn’t half bad. Some people - Sam Wilson comes to mind, for whatever reason - may not be inclined to agree, but Sam seems like the sort to ruin a decent cup of coffee with a greatly disproportionate sugar-to-liquid ratio. 

Bucky is almost tempted to return Sam’s call, if only for the satisfaction of telling him he underestimated Bucky’s ability to act like a normal person. Then he thinks about how close he was to completely losing his shit in a coffee shop and decides against it. 

It’s probably a good thing that the conditions of his pardon include court-mandated therapy. 

Bucky drinks his coffee and walks, enjoying the midmorning sun on his face. It’s nice out today, and if he doesn’t try to squint through the sunlight it could almost be any late spring day ninety years ago. The bricks were probably a more vivid red back then, and God knows the streets weren’t half as loud, but the city looks… familiar. He lets himself enjoy it. 

He enjoys it right up until he accidentally collides directly with someone waiting for a bus because, you know, it’s stupid bright and he can’t see shit. The guy ends up going one way and the bag he was holding goes another. 

“Shit, sorry.” Bucky stoops to retrieve the bag with his free hand and offers it to its owner. The guy, who was picking himself up off the bench he’d stumbled onto, goes to take the bag and freezes.

In the split second that their eyes lock, Bucky wills him not to speak. Just take the goddamn bag before - 

“You’re - you’re Bucky Barnes,” the guy says. 

“Yup.” Fuck.

“And you - you’re the Winter Soldier.” 

“Was,” Bucky corrects. He’s starting to feel stupid standing here holding the bag out.  

The guy doesn’t look convinced. He takes his bag warily, like he thinks Bucky is going to snap his wrist if he gets too close. Bucky, for his part, tries to school his expression into something less like a grimace and more of a painful smile. 

“Sorry about that,” he says again, hoping the guy will take that as his cue to end the conversation. 

“So you… live in Brooklyn.” 

“Yeah.” 

“And everyone’s - I mean, you can just do that?”

“As far as I know.” 

“The Winter Soldier lives in Brooklyn,” the guy repeats dubiously. 

Bucky sighs. “No, I live in Brooklyn.” 

A frown creases the guy’s forehead. “But you’re the Winter Soldier.”

Bucky starts to object, then shuts his mouth. It’s kind of true, isn’t it? The pardon is great and all, and Ayo and Princess Shuri and a dozen other Wakandan doctors besides insisted they successfully broke through the programming, but… the Winter Soldier is still part of him. Or he’s still the Winter Soldier. One of the two. Both?

“Look, I’m sorry I bumped into you, alright? My bad. Won’t happen again.” 

The guy opens his mouth, but Bucky walks away before he can say anything else. 

(It gets under his skin, though - the idea that even now, on the other side of the world and free from HYDRA’s control, he’s still the Winter Soldier. He doesn’t want to be.)

(God, what a stupid thing to say. He didn’t want any of it in the first place.) 

Bucky’s coffee is cold by the time he finishes it. He tosses the empty cup in a trash can on the sidewalk and debates his next move. Really, his options are to go home or… kick around the city and hope no one recognizes him. 

With another sigh, Bucky waits to cross the street so he can make his way home.

***

This century is stupid, Bucky decides. He’d like to go back to the 1940s now, thank you. He’s had quite enough of 2024 with its preoccupation with gadgets and social media and the complete and utter lack of fucking privacy. 

“... James?” 

The woman - Raynor, he’s pretty sure; he wasn’t really listening when she introduced herself - seems to be nearing the end of her patience. 

“I realize this is likely very difficult for you,” she says, “but for this to work, I need your cooperation.” 

“It’s therapy.” 

“Precisely - ”

“I just, I dunno, sit here while you crawl through my brain and tell me what’s wrong with me and then you do some weird shit to fix it. Hopefully you don’t zap me, though. Not sure my brain can take much more of the frying, you know?” 

“I - what?” Raynor looks genuinely baffled.

“You know, like HYDRA used to? You have my files - I know that’s what that folder is, by the way,” Bucky adds, nodding towards the thick folder on her desk.

Raynor looks like she’s chewing the inside of her cheek. Bucky hadn’t really meant to make her feel bad or whatever, but he would really just like it if she would stop asking him questions. 

“I know what your file says,” she says at last. “I wanted to hear it from you.”

He scowls. “That’s kind of fucked up.”

“James.” Couldn’t she at least call him Bucky? 

Well. He hadn’t exactly volunteered that he generally didn’t go by James. He hadn’t volunteered much of anything. 

“I recognize that you aren’t exactly eager to talk about… any of this,” Raynor continues. “But the only way to get better is to work through it. And I’m sure I hardly need to remind you that this is part of your pardon.”

“Yeah, you really didn’t.” 

Okay, he kind of feels bad for that one. He’s not trying to be rude, but come on. Yeah, he had to be pardoned by the government and it almost didn’t happen because he did some seriously fucked up shit that killed a lot of innocent people, he gets it, he remembers. 

Raynor sighs. “Let’s start small.” 

“Okay?” 

“Tell me what you’re doing now. Day-to-day, I mean.”

Seeing as it’s only been two weeks since he was cleared to move into an apartment on his own without constant supervision, Bucky doesn’t think it’s all that exciting. But he gets the feeling that isn’t the answer the nice lady is looking for, so he dutifully walks her through an average day in the life of the Wint - of Bucky Barnes.

“Okay.” She scribbles something down in a notebook. What the fuck is she doing that for? “And how have you been feeling?”

Pretty shitty, actually. He glares at the notebook. 

“James?” She glances up and frowns when she notices the look on his face. “Is something wrong?” 

A lot of things are wrong, actually. It’s a pretty astute observation. 

“I just… it’s nothing,” he says, because even in his head it sounds stupid. Sorry, Doc, the notebook is just really getting to me. Mind putting it somewhere far, far away from here? “At least it isn’t red,” he mutters to himself.

“Red? What’s red?” And then, when he doesn’t answer: “James?” 

“Notebook. It’s not red.” 

“I see,” Raynor says even though they both know she doesn’t. In fact, she completely misses the point, because she proceeds to write something else. 

Bucky lets out a sigh. He was really hoping he wouldn’t have to spell it out for her. But he does anyway since that seems to be the only way to get a message across nowadays. “Your notebook. It reminded me of HYDRA, okay?” 

It’s as much ground as he’s willing to give. Unfortunately, Raynor is all over it. 

“Can you expand on that?” 

“HYDRA,” he says reluctantly. “They had a notebook that had the - well, I don’t know what was actually in it besides the…” 

Raynor waits. 

“Look, don’t you already know this? Isn’t that the point of SHIELD giving you all those documents and reports and whatever the fuck else they could get their hands on?” Bucky grumbles. 

“SHIELD’s job is to give me the information I need to help you heal,” Raynor explains with remarkable patience. “But there’s a world of difference between reading a report put together by a government agent and hearing it from the person who experienced it firsthand.”

He’s forced to admit that it makes sense. 

“The notebook. It makes you… uncomfortable? Nervous? Anxious?”

Bucky considers it. “Nervous, I guess.”

“Because you feel like I’m writing down information to use against you, like HYDRA?” 

“That too.” 

All he can think of is that stupid notebook, the red fucking notebook with the star on it. It didn’t matter who was holding it; the notebook was bad news. He knew what it meant, after a while. He shouldn’t have been able to remember it, seeing as HYDRA made sure to wipe him after every mission, but eventually he learned to fear the little red book.

“If it helps at all, everything I’m writing here is strictly confidential.” Raynor is trying to catch his eye, but he’s looking everywhere but her. “The only people who have access to it besides me are SHIELD agents with the highest security clearance - ”

A jolt of anger brings him very much back to the present. “Wait, what? This is all going back to SHIELD?” 

“They are responsible for monitoring your wellbeing, James. Right now the government still considers you a significant threat.” 

“When were you going to tell me that? For fuck’s sake, I’m supposed to be spilling my guts about all the shit I was forced to do as the Winter Soldier and just be okay with the fact that any asshole from SHIELD can see it?” 

Blood roars in his ears. Even now, after they’d promised they would help him get back on track - whatever the fuck that even meant - SHIELD feels they can access his private shit as they please?

His metal arm whirs as his fist clenches at his side. Bucky shoves himself to his feet, struggling to keep his anger in check. “I’d like to go now.” 

“We’ve only been here for twenty minutes, James, I - ”

He shoves roughly through the door before she can finish. 

6:05 P.M., delivered to Sam Wilson: Hey, Sam. Got your voicemail. I’m fine.

6:09 P.M., delivered to Sam Wilson: thanks.