#autobot police

[galaxyfish20]

Chase = one of the funniest characters. He does his best comedy when he doesn’t realize he’s making a joke.

A bunch of loose chickens? He suspects “Fowl” play

Gets told something isn’t his business? Great! He doesn’t even own one!

Someone calls for 911- bro replies “No need citizen! I AM 911” as he puts his shades on

He spent an entire episode narrating his every move and thought process

He has accurately used a “that’s what she said” joke

“And like a swimming pool in the winter time this case is closed”

[streakyfreak-me]

my Prowl has an activation day today. so be happy, my dear. here, I have something for you.

[coffee-and-cake]

I think I might be going a little too hard on this borderline crack fic cause I'm staring at this 7 page doc and have come to the realization that I have to add even more to certain sections and what was originally one chapter is gonna end up being the first 3 and I'm not even halfway finished... I blame Dreadwing for this (This is for my Jasper trio turned sparkling idea)

[halenhusky309]

idw2 Nominus Prime and idw2 Sentinel Prime are so funny is that while they are quite tyrannical to their own peoples, but it comes from the place of worrying about their own brethens would potentially become the worst colonizers/expansionists/imperialists to other alien civilizations. I don't know but as a non-cybertronian, I have to stan them.

[simeonscott]

Classic Cruiser.

[lord-squiggletits]

IDW1 must take place on an alternate Earth where no one has ever heard of ACAB and everyone wears "thin blue line" merchandise because there's literally no other way that a single Autobot killing a USAmerican cop in self defense would be such worldwide news that even Mexican journalists would go "OMG???? You like, killed a cop?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?" and it wasn't even framed as like, "you killed a human," the phrasing every time any character talked about it was very specifically "he killed a cop".

The cop was also threatening to shoot a group of surrendering/not-attacking/injured Autobots btw which is just the icing on the cake honestly lmao

[titanclashbattleofthegods]

[spodimusarts]

Chaotic police car go brrrr

I finally finished my design for Streetwise for my Transformers Wings of Fire crossover. His alt mode is a Ford Taurus with a brush guard so that I could have the g1 aesthetic and still have my own touch to the vehicle design. I tried to stay true to his original robot mode design with a more realistic approach plus a few fun details like his waist design. The gun is based off of the Combiner Wars toy, it gives off a shotgun vibe which kinda fits his personality.

Streetwise is second in command of the protectobots underneath Hotspots leadership. His team is tasked with protecting a certain popular group of dragonets. Even though he’s a bit chaotic at times and a powerful warrior in the battlefield, he ultimately just wants to protect his friends.

[miniconsuffrage]

what’s wrong with tarn!

well aside from being a terrible terrible terrible person. nothing. it's just funny bc tarn Wears A Mask like scourge did in the movie and is the only character I can think of whose thing is Wearing A Mask. but they didn't use him for the movie they used scourge 😔

tf media is very interesting bc there are sooooo many versions and iterations of characters that can often be wildly different from each other, so the question of 'who do you pick' when you need a character to fill a certain role in your new story inevitably has a lot of options to choose from. scourge makes sense bc he was originally one of unicorn's dudes (he was the guy with the beard in the 1986 movie) but he wasn't the main one and they didn't give him his iconic beard. they gave him tarn's mask. making him kinda like a weird galvatron/scourge/tarn mashup. which is not unusual it's just funny

mirage was not the obvious choice to make the main robot guy. there was already a guy named tracks that would have been the obvious choice. same personality, same story (got stolen by a human dude, became gay best friends with him). but I guess they wanted to use the hologram powers that mirage has so they took tracks and gave him mirage's name and now he's mirage.

anyway ty for letting me tell you about robots so much ilu 🥺🥺🥺

[penny-anna]

also a jarring thing about Transformers 2007 is it's like so overwhelmingly pro military but also the majority of the antagonists are military hardware. one of the rare exceptions is Barricade who turns into a police car.

& there's an awareness buried in there that Barricade being a living police car is kind of scary and threatening in a way that none of the Autobots are. even tho physically speaking he's less dangerous than e.g. Optimus (who could flatten you)

at the beginning of the movie my friend commented that there's like some kind of parallel between the opening narration describing the endless war between the Autobots and Decepticons and then immediately cutting to US soldiers in the middle east but there's also clearly no interest in any kind of commentary there lmao.

[streakyfreak-me]

let's start our investigation, Pro~

[postanagramgenerator]

what’s your opinion on transformers; the big gay car (and other item) robots who are very cool #notbiased. not the electrical thingamabob you see at buildings.

what’s your opinion on transformers; the big gay car (and other item) robots who are very cool #notbiased. not the electrical thingamabob you see at buildings.

–>

beast wars best wars baby. lemme see those cgi era animal. no gi autobot police car toy shit no nothin'; try a rude gay dino bitch holding onto honor forever (#tru)

[if you liked this anagram consider donating to the balousha family’s gofundme | verified by 90-ghost!]

[revelboo]

It Had to Be You

Megatron x Reader-spark

• It’s amazing that something so precious can even be taken for granted. It’s just there, that sense of connection. Of Cybertron, a living Cybertron, being so much a part of Megatron that he never thought about it. Didn’t understand the extent. None of them had until it was too late.

• How long had it taken to feel that loss after Cybertron was dead, ravaged by their war? A spark-deep ache that echoed through them all with Cybertron’s fall. They'd all lost something they hadn't even realized could be lost. Cybertron wasn't just home- they needed that connection to their source to stabilize their sparks. Consigned to slowly fade away, growing accustomed to the loss. It becomes an old, familiar hurt. But it doesn't stop the fighting, it only fuels the hate.

• The battlefront has changed so many times. So many worlds suffering just because they arrive. He's lost track of all of the broken worlds. That first world, his, is the only one that mattered. And it had been stolen away by what had once been his friend. His brother. It didn't matter if the universe burns now. He can't stop, not when so much is already lost forever. What's one more world he won't remember?

• It’s so hot you can barely breathe, the wind whipping your hair into your face in little stinging lashes. Overhead, the sun bakes the desert, your truck, and the winding road. You'd never meant to end up here in the Midwest, but its where the money had run out in your bid for the coast. Staying hadn't been the plan, either. Everything had gone a bit sideways. You'd dreamed of the ocean, not scraggly nothingness that still somehow managed to catch on fire every year for sheer spite.

• The semitruck that overtakes you on the narrow ribbon of cracked asphalt is speeding, its engine roaring as it passes you in the left lane. In a hurry to be somewhere else. Something you could envy, but then another car, sleek and red is tearing by. And another. It's the weirdest convoy you've ever seen. A police car, several foreign cars, a couple of sports cars, an ambulance. All hellbent on keeping up with that big semi.

• You're speeding, but not nearly like they are. Maybe it's a shoot for a movie? But where are the cameras? Distracted in you musings, you still hear the screaming over your radio. A roaring shriek that makes your skin crawl, then there are jets tearing by overhead. You lean forward, staring up through the dusty windshield as the three fly by so low it’s frightening. It must be a movie. The nearest airbase is in the next state. Why hadn't they shut the road down to film, though? Unease spills through you as you ease up on the gas.

• They're running. It’s stop them now or they just go to ground again. Megatron’s played this game so many times on so many worlds and he’s so tired of it. Once Prime and his followers take alt modes, they disappear and then strike on their terms. Not this time. His Seekers tear after them, loosing a barrage of missiles as he draws near. There’s an almost giddy satisfaction in watching them swerve and dodge as he drops through the clouds, rotors humming. This form isn’t as cumbersome as his last, but it’s still new. It’s only when he releases his own missiles that he feels it.

• A flicker of something that feels like it should be familiar. Something he’s forgotten, but can almost recall. He sees it then, the truck swerving and bouncing off the road. Not an Autobot, but one of the squishy, little natives in the wrong place at the wrong time. Irrelevant, short-lived insects.

• Except, somehow he can feel their biofield pulsing in panic as they go careening. And his own spark constricts with something frightening and hungry. Responding. He’s aware of his Seekers engaging the Autobots. Transforming as he lands, he’s pulled toward that truck as it runs into the rocks and nearly goes sideways. There’s a battle around him, but it’s nothing compared to the storm inside him. His spark aches. The metal roof of the truck comes away under his fingers as he stares at the little creature struggling with some sort of restraint. It’s biofield. His spark. He knows this feeling even if he can’t put a servo on it. It hurts. He needs it even as it hurts so much.

• There’s a monster. You can’t breathe and there’s a monster staring down at you from where the roof of your truck’s cab had been five minutes ago. Clawing at the seatbelt, it finally comes loose and you throw yourself at the door handle. Away. That’s all you can think of. Getting away. Things are exploding, there’s smoke, and yelling. And monsters with glowing red eyes. You fall out of the truck when the door opens and that thing is reaching for you, huge fingers snagging you as you finally catch your breath just so you can scream.

Next

[byfulcrums]

mtmte is the best comic ever and i can prove it to you

There is, of course, the canon mpreg

Grimlock, known Decepticon killer, gets adopted into a group known as The Worst Decepticons Alive, has a baby with them

The bloodthirsty, mentally ill guy that lowkey caused Megatron to go all evil adopts a bunch of red scraplets

Ratchet steals his ex-coworker's hands and keeps them for himself

On the hands: Before that, he would hit his with a hammer because they didn't work properly. Right before a surgery

Man experiences police brutality, decides to take over the universe

Rodimus' nonsensical doodles turn out to be a map leading to heaven

Rodimus also gets crucified

The therapist of the ship, also known as the most forgettable guy ever, is actually God with a capital G

God befriends a guy doing everything in his power to prove the existence of the afterlife

God befriends an atheist

God almost gets sacrificed

Remember the Worst Decepticons Alive? Their dumbest member (who genuinely believes squirrels live in minds) created the cure for lobotomies

There's a random man's corpse sticking out of the engine and also a kinda-vampire

To turn vampires back into regular people you have to hit them real hard in the head

The leader of the DJD runs his group of bloodthirsty killers and torturers like an office workplace

They get scolded by the tiny medic they could squish and are terribly afraid of her

You get to know how the war actually started! It was because of a curly straw

Character goes back in time to stop the war because he's gay and ends up accidentally causing it

Multiple transfem characters!! All of the girls are trans!!!! And most of the boys are gay!!!!

They made STARSCREAM the ruler of the world

There's an entire chapter dedicated to that one time they were chased by a planet

Local Girl's Best Friend Dies, Responds To That By Putting His Brain In Her Eye Socket

They steal a guy's corpse, increase his size with an experimental thingy an amoral scientist created, and use his alt mode as a spaceship when theirs gets stolen

There's an Autobot spy that communicates to them by shooting a crew member

Even the serious panels have meme potential (see: Overlord and Rodimus)

Whirl's general existence makes the world a worst place, which makes the comic even better

"What gives? I'm normal again! Well, relatively speaking."

[Singing] "No one cares! No one cares what you have to say~"

Whirl making a depressed Rodimus so angry that he goes to get by by lighting (I actually can't remember if this is how it went lmao, it might've been the other way around)

When he told everyone about the time he "killed" someone in their sleep and shoved their wand up their ass

Brainstorm creates a button that allows the characters to break the fourth wall. Swerve presses it and becomes a narrator

One of the most painful slow burns EVER. Jesus

Their first actual interaction consisted of Cyclonus dropping Tailgate because he was annoying

Then: "I knew you'd find me"

Violent warlord that has destroyed multiple planets and planned to conquer the universe gets legally mandated into becoming the ship's captain, much to Roddy's despair

At some point, Megatron starts to sound just like Rodimus when talking to Magnus and it makes him want to kill himself

OP gives Roddy and Meg the shared title of "co-captain" so Rodimus wouldn't get upset

Oh, here's a thing: Tumblr is canon in TF IDW

The Scavengers (Worst Decepticons) go to the real world as TF toys and it's never mentioned ever again

Warriors who have endured six million years of war, powerful and feared, freak out when the light goes out

Space Jesus 2 demands an audience with God, gets hit by lightning and disappears

Character survives a terminal illness by dying

Ultra Magnus gets drunk. He's a giggler. He also starts crying

And more!!!!

[valve3nthusiast]

Decepticon and Autobot propaganda definitely got weirder as the war went on and I'd personally like to believe that there's officially sanctioned patriotic pornography. for my own amusement

Somewhere out there is small porn studio barely skating past the censors by claiming their work is glorifying the superiority of Lord Megatron, when everything they shoot is cheesily scripted and horrendously acted pornos of "Megatron" spiking any and every high ranking 'con they had a vaguely similarly-shaped actor for (but like,,,, they're probably quietly funded enough to stay afloat by Tarn and his cuck kink tbh)

With a shoestring budget and audacity, they end up producing such gems as "Our Glorious Leader Foils His Traitorous Commander's Evil Plot With His Massive Fusion Cannon!" and"Loyal Officers Kneel For The Throne To Recive Our Emperor's Magnificent Throbbing Favor" and "Decepticon High Command Non-Stop Penetrating Action" just to name a few. There are many, many other works of similar... Artistic Value, that end up getting made fun of at Autobot movie nights for all eternity

Autobots of course prefer tastefully written Prime-kink erotica, except for Optimus Prime himself, who still can't find the person that gave the go ahead for propaganda division to write a series of spicy romance novellas about him. This haunts him at every officer's meeting. Someone will be presenting about troop movements or smth and he'll be staring into the middle distance wondering no, Prowl wouldn't... right?

The neutrals might not need propaganda, but of course they're still making porn so some are gettin freakay with it. Given how long they live I bet if cybertronians have copyright law itd be a fucking mess. They probably can't get away with using real names, but there are definitely some very thinly veiled stand-ins for various Autobots and Decepticons fucking in numerous offensive arrangements

Of course you can't throw a rock without hitting a vid starring a blue and red truck and a gray mechanism of indeterminable alt-mode, but that got old fast, and the neutrals started to get creative. The poor sucker that personally received a Cease and Desist from both the heads of the Autobot and Decepticon intelligence divisions went so underground that no one knows who to credit for the smash hit spy vs spy romance novel they wrote. sad

And like. neutrals making crossfaction porn isn't explicitly policed by either faction. but if someone wants to make a vid about Legally Distinct not-Skywarp getting stuck in a wall via teleporting accident and having his ports pounded by the not-Autobots, then they have to reckon with the very real chance that Skywarp the Actual Person will show up to beat the shit out of them

Idk where I was going with this. If you want to make me laugh come up with a terrible name for a terrible cybertronian porno and put it in the comments or replies or whatever the fuck it's called. peace

[lets-try-some-writing]

Do you think that the autobots or decepticons might find any aspects of human technology interesting? it is technically less advanced, but it's also so drastically different that several kinds of power source exist for their machines, I imagine it would at least draw Shockwaves intrigue

I doubt they would find any one thing all that wild. After all, the internet is nothing new to them, nor is most of the tech humanity uses. However, with that said, I do think Cybertronians as a whole would be astounded by the stuff humans came up with an either used to hilarious/frightening effect or did not use due to the sheer wildness of it.

Example one: Spy cats with listening devices implanted into their skulls to allow operators to pick up conversations from targets without suspicion. To a Cybertronian, the idea makes perfect sense on paper. Get a beastformer, a minicon, or a cassette. Have them act more beast like and hang around to listen. Easy enough right? Well that's what they would think until they actually get to know Earth fauna. At which point I can see them becoming wildly confused with the entire idea and similar ones like it.

I do think the Autobots in particular would find radio waves to be fun. Largely because they can pick up no it and mess with it easy peasy. Bumblebee could use it to make voice clips, meanwhile the rest of the team just mess with the radio to be nuisances. Ratchet might use them on occasion to listen in to his favorite stations while out and about. Arcee and Bulkhead would find them fun for music reasons. And since Optimus is the way he is, he'd likely listen to country music or chime in to various police stations just to keep tabs while out driving.

As for the cons? I can see them finding humanity's attempt at building weaponry to be funny. Minus MECH, humans haven't been very effective at cutting them down. So I do imagine it is less of an awe thing and more mockery as they gaze down at the US Navy and their silly little boats. Or the US Airforce and their slow as slag jets. Starscream might have fun picking a few apart just to see why they suck so bad (in his optics at any rate).