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littlerileyfitz · 6 years ago

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who: @lucachristensen , @littlerileyfitz \

when: sometime in July

where: Tangleton

warnings: there’s emotions and confusion and a long overdue confession

Riley walked towards the grand building her brother was currently working on renovating with a little basket in hand. It contained a rather large turkey sandwich, some homemade sweet potato chips an apple and a few freshly baked cookies Riley had gotten Freya’s help with. Oh and a water, because hydration was key. She was sure Julien was planning on buying lunch from somewhere nearby, but why not bring him a way better on instead? Opening the door to the building, she was quick to find her brother and hand him the basket with a hug and a kiss to his cheek. Sketch book in hand, she’d probably sit around a bit and wait for him to be done to hang out after. But as she turned around to find some place to sit, she was surprised to see Luca behind her, working rather hard on the reconstruction. And of course, for all of thirty seconds she just stared at the boy. Because this? This was absolutely unfair. The tank top, the slight glow of his tanned skin from the sweat he was no doubt producing... and oh, his hair. Their eyes finally met and she was quick to close her mouth, slightly mortified that she had been staring with her mouth open. Shaking away the thoughts, she send him a smile and a wave before approaching. “I didn’t know you were helping my brother out. I would’ve brought you some lunch too. Long day so far?” She wondered, blue eyes quickly taking one more sweep of him. “You look hot- like you’re probably hot! Overheated. It’s really, it’s warm outside. I should know, it’s why I’m only wearing... the dress.” Oh gods the rambling. She had to cut it off before it got bad. “I’m uh, I’m gonna stick around a draw for a while. If you don’t have plans for after your shift, I can show you some great places to cool off. If you want.”

Luca there was something about the simplicity of it all. the way he could lose himself in the physical action of just moving and building. if Luca really had the urge to take a look on the inside himself he would note that even with his frustration during the beginning of the summer. even with every annoyance and the beginning chasm he could feel in his chest when he thought of all the changes that had occurred in his life over the last few months. honestly, just fucking working had probably been the best thing about it all so far. he didn’t think about shit but the task in front. didn’t have the energy to feel like he needed to do something to quench boredom because he simply wasn’t fucking bored. it was sort of - odd and freeing at the same time. as he worked, he didn’t notice Riley at first, not until he heard her surprised words as he moved near. before he could get a word out, she just kept. talking. letting her get it all out, he just tilted his head for a second, scoffing in a soft chuckle before shaking his head. “it isn’t short.” he let out regarding his day while he lifted his tank to wipe some of the sweat from his face, choosing to ignore the way her eyes had traveled over him because yeah, he noticed. guess he couldn’t blame her. a lot of people were attractive around them. practically a fucking reflex. he did that shit too. and it really was fucking hot. “but yeah sure, we can hang out after.” it was almost an absentminded agreement to her thought before he moved back to taking care of what he was doing. he was focused on the work in front of him. there were only a couple hours left to his day and he was ready for it to be finished.

Riley laughed softly at his response, unsure if he was making a small joke or simply answering her question but regardless she found it funny. “I’m sure.” When he lifted his shirt to wipe at his face it took every ounce of self control the blonde had not to look down. There’s no way he was doing this on purpose, she had so many male family members that she knew this was just a motion all boys seemed to pick up through the years. But still it was just rude. So she just focused on his face, and gave him a bright smile when he agreed to hanging out after he was done. “Okay great. Just find me when you’re finished.” As he went back to his work she turned swiftly and once she was far enough away she let out a deep breathe, her cheeks growing a bit redder but she could just blame that in the heat. Finding a nice sitting area near julien, so she could talk with him while she drew, she opened her sketch book. Originally Riley had planned to try to draw the building, the straight lines and depth would help her gain some practice, but upon seeing the number of workers in the room all in different positions, she decided her usual quick outline of them all would be better. She always could use more practice with the human form, especially males. And when they were in unusual positions or in movement, it was even better. Taking a long sip of the water she had brought with her, she got to work, quickly forgetting about trivial things like boys and the weather and instead focusing on her sketch pad in front of her. Luca for a time, he just list his mind in the work. he didn't talk to the others too much besides offering a few suggestions or discussing things about the job. it wasn't too friendly but they weren't stand offish. apparently having one of their princes get you the job was enough for them to trust you. at least enough trust to work with him without a complaint. Luca had to admit, it was an interesting experience. Riley's brother didn't really get involved in the extreme heavy lifting but he was paying attention. speaking to the masons and the others for hours along with them all. had been there since they had all gotten started since sun raise. fucking weird. his observations were made while he worked until suddenly he wasn't working anymore and reaching for his ratty black tshirt that was more dark grey out of age. running a hand through his hair, he took a long drink of water before offering a smile head nod to the guys he had been toiling in the manual labor with before looking for Riley. it looked like she hadn't moved. her hands still moving over the sketch book with the afternoon sun as her light. clearing his throat lowly he just looked at her. "ready when you are." finally moved over his lips. "just as long as i can grab something to eat along the way. i'm fucking starving."

Riley had been on a roll, such a roll that she didn’t even realize the day had come to a close and Luca was ready to go. Hearing him clear his throat, the blonde looked up from her sketch book and turned to him with a smile. “Oh, perfect.” Closing it and tucking the sketch book under her arm, she stood up and joined him, walking towards the door as he spoke. “Yeah, definitely. I was thinking we could go to one of my favorite spots, and there’s a burger shack on the beach we’ll pass, if your up for that. But they have more than burgers. Hot dogs. Sandwiches. Really, really good homemade chips. And ice cream.” The girl had always stopped by the shack when leaving the beach and picked herself up a scoop of fresh strawberry. Passing by the long board she had ridden here, Riley figured she could leave it and just walk with Luca towards the cliffs. If anything send Julien a text and ask him to bring it home with him. “So how are you enjoying the work? And Tangleton? Better than Arendelle I hope.” Luca burgers sounded fucking perfect. even the fruit salad did if he was going to add on a little extra something but even with making pretty good money, he was careful with it. nodding his head in agreement to her plan, Luca just began to walk next to her silently. "mmm," was all he offered at her question at first. his silence still permeating the air between but this time it was in thought. honestly, Arendelle hadn't been the worst. or more like it could have been worse. he found a job or two. ignored Elsa and she ignored him mostly. ignored her idiot cousin. he supposed in the cousin's defense, he thought most people were idiots but if he had to pick a place, it would be Tangeton. it was a place he had been in before. a place he had faces he recognized and didn't totally hate. shit being able to finally see Aurèlie again was great. even seeing Riley was good. people he could stand. sure, he ended up meeting some grandparents from his mother's side and to be honest, it left a strange taste in his mouth. a heaviness in his limbs but a lightness in his mind. everyday he just got a little more confused about it. "i would probably pick Tangleton if i was choosing between the two." he finally offered up as he pushed his long hair behind his ear. "the beach is nicer. the company is better and at least the job is something -," he paused for a second on his next words. how could he explained it? it left him tired. it left him relaxed. he had never how to do mason work before but despite their initial apprehension they were teaching him. Luca couldn't describe how it made him feel but it was - "it's better anyway. i can say that much and your brother isn't a complete idiot. Julien anyway."

Riley of course a wide smile made its way across Riley’s lips as he spoke. She loved her home, it was her favorite place in the world and she loved it when other people enjoyed it as well. Plus, she knew from their talks earlier in their vacation Luca hadn’t really been having a good time in Arendelle, and she wanted to make sure that Tangleton was different. She just wanted him to have a good summer, everyone deserves that. The blonde let out a dry laugh as he semi compliment her brother. “Julien isn’t an idiot, he’s brilliant. He is so passionate about this project, it’s amazing to see it all come to life. And I’m sure he appreciates all the help you’re giving, even if you’re being paid to be here.” Steering them towards the beach she often found herself at when in this part of town, she suddenly realized the dig he had sent towards her other brother. “Elijah isn’t an idiot either.” Both of her brothers were very smart actually, the two definitely left some big shoes to fill. As they finally made their way to the beach, she motioned to the shack. “Food first or after? Are you like dying to get in the water?” She was, but if Luca was in need of food she had no problem eating first. After all, he was the one who had been doing manual labor all day long.

Luca definitely passionate. he had to say the other Fitzherbert seemed to care about the whole town so, that was probably a good thing. "yeah," was all he had to offer towards her addition about her one brother. it wasn't like he was not agreeing with her. still, that didn't stop him from smirking slightly when Riley noticed the dig he sent to one brother. that particular twin still left a bad taste in his mouth. stupid enough to pick someone other than Aurèlie was still the definition of stupid in his book. even if Luca didn't hate Lucy most days. he was still an idiot. "we can have different opinions on that one." he tossed up with a shrug, something good natured in his tone when he looked at her before moving his eyes to look at the the beach they had finally reached in their time speaking and walking. yes he was hungry but suddenly the thought of loosing himself in the water was a little too tempting. "i'll take the water first," he finally stated as he eyed the horizon before looking towards Riley again. "lead the way."

Riley she snorted, shaking her head at him. “Okay, whatever.” The way he delivered the line she knew there wasn’t much she could say to sway his opinion. And it was fine, she knew she couldn’t make everyone like everyone. Especially everyone like her family. “Perfect! Follow me” she announced, grabbing his hand and practically dragging him along with her, excitement in her voice as she led them away from the beach and towards the rocky terrain behind it. She was sure Luca had been expecting to just take a dip in the ocean, but she was going to take him to the cliffs. It was such an adrenaline rush and Riley was pretty sure she could go cliff diving for hours. She was also pretty confident that Luca was enjoy this part. “So aside from getting a job with my brother, anything new? I feel like we haven’t talked that much, which is weird considering you’re literally living down the hall. But that’s on me.” There were a lot of people coming in and out of her home lately, a lot of people she had to split her attention between. Especially with the fact that Baron had been in town for a week, she spent all those days with him. She was going to make an effort to really spend time with her friends. Especially while they were so close during this summer.

Luca he didn't fight her when she pulled him along. instead he picked up the pace a little bit, willing himself to not think about the fact that he didn't instantly pull away at her touch. over the last few months he had gotten, better about dealing with people touching him. still, it was something he mind never forgot to noticed. instead of dwelling on it, Luca slowly began to take in the fact that they were walking towards rocky terrain. suddenly his interest was piqued. "we both know it was on me." which was just a fact. if he could avoid talking to most people on most days that would be his preference. he didn't like to fill silences with words. didn't want to talk about how he still wasn't sure what he would do with his life. didn't have any answers he thought he had maybe been finding. don't even fucking get him started on trying to decipher feelings he had been slowly learning were just fucking lurking under all of his rage. it was so god damn exhausting. "other than that, nothing new. just living i guess." he added with a slight shrug. he didn't need to get into the fact that he had a conversation with Ranger. didn't really matter and he sure as shit didn't want to bring up the family stuff because, no. "getting a tan and i have time to write so, there is that. "

Riley “We can share the blame.” Sure Luca wasn’t one for conversing, she had learned that early on. But that didn’t mean the two still couldn’t just hang out together, maybe while Luca wrote and Riley painted. A comfort between each other. The blonde needed to learn to get better at allowing comfortable silences, instead of trying to fill it with conversation that may not be necessary. Looking back at him, she took in his appearance once more. He had mentioned he tan, it was he best time to subtly gawk. “It suits you.” Of course she’d argue that tans just looked good on everyone. As the altitude began to grow and the sand turned into dry grass and dirt, Riley knew they were close. And as she saw the cliffs before her, varying heights depending on how brave you were feeling, she held her arms out wide. “Ta da! Hope you’re not scared of heights.” Looking our towards the water, a giddy sensation filled her. “We’ve got 15ft as the smallest, next is 23ft and the highest over here is 30ft.” Pouring farther down the path, she spoke. “And if you’re feeling really daring I think one goes up to 45ft. Any preference?”

Luca He didn't add any sort of verbal confirmation to agree that they were both at fault but he did give her a nod. Luca huffed out a barely there laugh when she mentioned the tan looking good on him. He sort had the feeling they looked good on most people. His thoughts were pulled out of him when they stopped and Riley spread her arms wide. He would be lying if the 45ft cliff didn't sound the most tempting. "I'm thinking 45." He started with a smirk curving the corner of his lips. It had been too long since he could feel the taste of adrenaline. "Go big or go home. We both know i sure as shit don't wanna be going back to anywhere someone would think was my home so...." he let his words trail off as he reached for his shirts and pulled them over his head without even thinking about it and tossed it to the side. "Ready to show me how it's done?"

Riley That smirk on his lips told her she had done a good job. He was clearly excited for the prospect of cliff jumping and she couldn’t blame him. It was the best. “Sounds like we’re going big then.” She stated, walking over towards the cliff that was the highest, one she had only jumped off a number of times. She wasn’t scared of heights, but looking over the ledge always caused her stomach to flip. “Be prepared to be amazed.” She joked, stepping back a good few feet and letting the loose sun dress pool around her ankles to expose the bikini underneath. They’d come get their clothes later, she’d left them here plenty of times. “Three, two... ONE!” And without fear the blonde ran towards the edge, jumping at the last minute, a loud cheer leaving her lips as she fell through the air. Making sure to point her toes when she got to the bottom, the blonde embraced the cool water fully before coming to the surface. Looking back at Luca, it was hard to imagine she had just jumped from that height. “YOUR TURN!” Luca there was a thrill of excitement that struck up his spine. like the feel of electricity, it lingered in his bones when it spread to his lips, his very finger tips. for what seemed like months, he had either been feeling too much or too little. an empty maw between his mind and his body or it was so filled to the brim that he thought he would drown in it. but the excitement was different. the precursor to a rush of adrenaline. Luca didn’t try to stop the smile that took overtook his lips when he watched her jump. his limbs carrying him to the edge to watch as she reached the bottom. nothing but water to break Riley’s fall. the moment he heard the echoing call out to have him jump next, he was already backing up to take a running jump. for a brief moment it was like a free fall. he didn’t care how deep the water was. didn’t give two shits as the water washed over him, swallowing him down for just a moment. the urge to stay below the surface was strong but the urge to breathe was stronger. breaking the surface, Luca flipped his hair out of his face. he could feel the grin that tugged at the corner of his mouth when he spotted Riley and swam in her direction. “okay yeah.” came out a little breathlessly as he looked up to the cliff, salt water in eyes that barely offered pain, before looking back at her. “that was worth an it.” a laugh danced off his tongue when he spoke before nodding along to himself “and I am ready to fucking do it again.”

Riley watched as he jumped off the cliff and fell into the water, what looked to be a smile on his face the whole time. She wasn’t completely sure because he was kind of far away, but she liked to think this was something he enjoyed. Based on his previous reaction to the cliff diving, she was going to take the leap and say he was having fun. When Luca popped out of the water and swam towards her, she hung to swim towards him to meet him halfway. Looking backing up at he large cliff they had just jumped from, she turned back to him in surprised when she heard a laugh leave his lips. Blue eyes took in his features, the clear excitement on his face. He’s beautiful. she couldn’t help but think, getting pulled away from anything overly gushy when he said he wanted to do it again. “Okay well, let’s go. We can climb the wall back up.” She wasn’t sure if someone has made the foot holes in the wall to making getting back to the top of the cliff easier, or if it was just a natural occurrence. “I’ll watch, actually. I just want to float for a bit. You go.” She told him, moving into a back float position.

Luca eyeing her for a moment, he nodded in an easy form of agreement before swimming a way towards the rock wall. taking note where he could see the potential foot holes, he wasted no time in making his way back up. the burn in his muscles more pleasing then he could describe when he finally got back up to the top. running his hand through his hair, Luca pushed it from his face as he looked back down at the water below. again a smile pulled at his lips, that thrum of excitement still running through his veins. if given the chance he was pretty sure he would just keep jumping and climbing over and over again. taking a few more steps back then the first time, he wanted a good running start, he run towards the edge and flung himself off. it took no time to meet the water again. feel the rush of the wind against him as he slide between the softly lapping waves like fucking butter. it nearly stung his skin but maybe that was the best part of it all. swimming towards Riley again, he didn't say anything at first, a smile still tugging on his lips as he sat there for a moment. feeling the movement of the water. quiet. a buzz of a thrill still on his skin. after a few beats of his heart he finally let out a chuckle that was a shadow of a sigh but there was no exasperation in his. "thank you." he was sure if she would understand. it didn't matter. he was thankful for the moment.

Riley She couldn't stop the giggle that left her lips as she swam off towards the cliff. One eye open and squinting under the hot sun as she watched him climb. This was a good idea, this was something he needed. She knew him well enough to know he had probably been getting antsy. She was sure this was just the kind of adrenaline rush he needed. He took no time jumping off the cliff again. It's like when you're playing with a child and throwing them in the air, and it's freeing and slightly terrifying but they can't do anything other than laugh and say again, again. Once he came back up for air, and began to swam back to her, she moved so she was treading the water again, a warm, genuine smile slipping on her lips as he thanked her. She knew he meant it. "You're welcome. And now you know where it is. You know, if you ever need to just jump off a cliff into some water." She was pretty positive he'd be back. "Do you want to keep going or is it time for food?" Maybe it had been the adrenaline rush or just the hot sun beating down on her, but even Riley was starting to get hungry.

Luca the thought of being able to come back whenever he needed to fling his damn self off a fucking cliff was tantalizing. it was something he could absolutely see himself taking advantage of it. but the urge to climb again and go for another round of it was lost on him the moment she mentioned food cause yeah, he was fucking hungry. "food. definitely food." his lips twitched in a small smile before he let himself begin to swim towards the cliff. normally he would just swim to the shore but i figured he could enjoy himself one more time by at least climbing up. not to mention his shirt was up there and he only owned so many. the warmth of worked muscles was followed by the pleasing burn as he made his way to the top, noting that Riley had come along with him. reaching for his shirt, he didn't waste time putting it on, instead he slipped it into his back pocket, allowing to to hang out as he turned to look at his companion. "so i heard there were burgers that are good." his voice low but still calm. "lead that way before i resort to fucking cannibalism. since you're the only person i could eat. might be a little uncomfortable."

Riley "Mmm I had a hunch." She muttered, letting him lead the way out of the water. She normally swam to the beach from here, and let the sun warm her so that when she found her way back to her clothes on the cliff, she wasn't drenched, but she felt kind of rude just disappearing on him. So she followed him up the side of the cliff. This was one of the first times she had jumped off this summer, so her arms were definitely burning by the time she made it to the top. Letting out a soft sigh, she flipped all her hair to one side and began to squeeze as much water out of it as possible. She loved having long hair, but it was thick, and it held a lot of water. She was in the middle of that when she heard Luca's voice, pausing for a second before looking at him and letting out an awkward chuckle. She knew how he meant it, but she couldn't help her brain from thinking of his words in a different way. "They're good, I promise. No need to eat me." Gods, she was an absolute imbicel. Sighing and shaking her head, she finally grabbed her sundress and pulled it on, the fabric sticking to her body almost immediately due to her damp skin. It wasn't a feeling she loved, but something she was used to. In an attempt to break the awkwardness she felt, the blonde sent him a bright smile before saying, "race you!" And taking off down the cliff as fast as she could, bare feet be damned

Luca whatever he was expecting, it wasn't to be challenged just after her got his ragged shirt over his body. but that didn't stop Luca from running after her. his limbs burning as they made their way down. barely managing to escape the wayward branch and rocks as they got closer to the bottom. by the end he could feel his breath clinging to his lungs violently as he let out a quick laugh. "not what i was expecting." he admitted easily as he stood there to catch his breath for a moment. offering her a small smirk, he nodded his head in the direction he figured she was heading and followed her lead. whatever filler conversation they had was mostly background noise as they made their way. before he knew it there was fresh food in his hands and he was sitting down, waiting for her to sit with him. "i can tell this shit is gonna be good." he offered between them as he eyed the delicious looking burger in front of him. Luca's limbs still burned but at that point it was more a satisfying dull ache. his favorite. "this place was a good call."

Riley He might not have been expecting her to challenge him with a race down the hill, but a part of her wasn't expecting him to actually join her. Luca often, still even this far into knowing him, seemed far away from her. Like he was holding back, and even though she had no problem running down a giant hill, she wouldn't have been surprised if he just shrugged and leisurely made his way down behind her. Him following her in full force, it just felt fun. Playful. Like she didn't have to second guess herself of their interactions for once. And it had her smiling brightly as they walked towards the burger shack, chatting about anything that seemed to come to mind. "It's good, trust me. I know all the spots in Tangleton." She murmured, taking a bite of the basket of fries she had order for herself. The two sat in silence for a bit while they ate, her eyes flickering between Luca and the water. Today had been nice, relaxing. Actually, spending time with him in Tangleton had been the most fun, and carefree, and it had definitely just made those somewhat dormant feelings grow. Deciding it was time pussy up, the blonde took the opportunity to speak. "Not to get too deep here or anything... but I feel like I owe you an explanation for how I acted this year. Or, spring semester, specifically." She looked up at his dark eyes to gauge his reaction before continuing.

Luca the silence was oddly comforting. the sound of the beach near them as the water lapped at the shore. the taste of something insanely delicious on his tongue. yeah, he could get used to it. quietly he smiled to himself as he took his time eating. for once in months feeling an odd sort of contentment. before the summer, Luca was fucking lost. for the first time in his life he had contemplated a future only to realize what he thought it would be wasn't meant for him. in the long run, he understood. but that didn't make the pain of it any less. still, fucking Arendell and then Tangleton seemed to do him good. the exhaustion from working and the odd feeling of... building something was strange but.. a good sort of strange. Riley's words pulled him from his thoughts as he eyed her for a moment. truthfully he had been curious but he wasn't 100% he really cared or more importantly totally wanted to hear about something from spring but still... he of all people understood what it was like to finally s a y something that had been taunting him internally. "just so you know, you don't owe me anything but okay." he offered softly. his turned his attention to her after he wiped his hands on his jeans. if she was going to talk, he was willing to listen. "ready when you are."

Riley She chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment, a soft smile pulling at the corner of her lips. "No, I do." Maybe he'd understand a bit more when she was done. Sighing, she sat up a little straighter and looked him in the eyes as she spoke. "Remember that night I came to your room and asked you to model for my art? And Aurèlie was there? That wasn't actually... why I was there. I had gotten drunk and had this false sense of confidence and decided it was finally time for me to come out" deep breath, "and tell you that I had feelings for you. But I saw Aurèlie and figured everything out and I couldn't, I couldn't say anything." She played with the ends of her hair, a slightly nervous tick she had gained over the years. "At some point between Halloween and then, I realized I liked you. And I kept it in. Especially after all of that. But it was really hard to be around you two. Because you're my best friends and I wanted you two to be happy, but those feelings didn't go away. And it was a constant tug and pull. I had to act like everything was normal. I wanted to be happy for you, but it was so hard because... I wanted to be the one you looked at like that. And I felt awful for thinking that. So it was just easy to distance myself, at least in the beginning. I was able to deal with it towards the end," the end of the relationship. "It's why things started to go back to normal, at least for me. And I'm sure you're wondering why I'm telling you all of this. But I told Aurèlie, and I need to tell you. Aside from the fact that you guys deserve to know the truth, I've been keeping all of this in for months and I just need it to be out in the open."

Luca almost like the sounds left the area around them, his mind focused on the words. there was a part of him. a part that could recall how they were before everything. before halloween. before all of it. when he danced with her on the dance floor at that ball that was almost over a year ago. that part of him, wasn't surprised. the part that was kissed when she was dressed in costume wasn't thrown for a loop but the rest of him. the rest of him didn't have a word to say as she continued. Riley just kept talking. laying it all out on the line when all Luca wanted to do was get up and walk away. step away from the table and way from what she was putting in front of him. resisting the urge to do just that, he stayed. he stayed and waited for her to finish. kept his comments to himself as he waited and swallowed down the jaw clench he could feel building in his bones. people were allowed to have feelings right? he had a shit ton.. even if they usually defaulted to rage rather than confusion. when she finished. when she ended what she had and there was a silence.. he ran a hand through his hair as he let out a breath he hand't known he had been holding. "thanks for letting me know." he started in a lame attempted to keep his crueler words at bay. she didn't deserve to hear them. no matter how he thought it was bullshit. sure, her getting it out in the open helped her. but what the fuck did it do for him but put something on him he didn't fucking want. still, she didn't deserve that. "but Riley -," he continued as he shook his head. "i can't." there wasn't a waver or doubt to his tone. he seriously just couldn't. "you don't know me. not enough."

Riley She could see all the emotions running through him, all the thoughts he was having and the mental decisions he was making. As the silence crept between them, the blonde instantly regretted having told him. Why did she do that? Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut and let it go? It had been a good day, and here she had gone and ruined it. His jaw clench, his hands ran through his hair. She didn't know what to expect from him. She wondered if he'd just nod and go back to his food. Or maybe he'd just get up and go swim in the water and not say a word. He wouldn't scream, or shout, right? That was extreme. There was no reason for that. Or so she hoped. And then he spoke, and her brows were literally furrowing because how was that his response? She didn't think that's where this would go. "I don't know everything about you, but I know a good amount. And I know myself." I know that my feelings are serious. I know how I feel when I'm around you. I know I tried to get over it and I couldn't. She couldn't say those things, that's not what this was about. "But... this isn't about how I feel. I'm not expecting anything from you. I just couldn't keep it in anymore. And that might make me selfish but..." but shouldn't she be allowed to be? Once in her life. The girl who gives everyone everything, she needed to do something for herself for once. "I'm sorry if this makes things weird, I'm just - I'm sorry."

Luca selfish. that was a word wasn't it. narcissistic. egotistical. self centered. none of those were words he would usually describe the blonde in front of him as but that seething part of him wanted to to. smear the word across her skin the same way she tossed her love on him but it was a small part. the rest of him was just, empty. "don't be sorry." was softly stated as he pulled himself out of whatever dark mental hole he wanted to claw into and focus on her instead. "you're allowed to feel what ever you feel." a previous conversation with Aurèlie urged him on. one of the many other times she told him his feelings were valid even if extreme. maybe her's weren't extreme but still. "i just - don't." it wasn't completely true. he did have a special space in his heart for the girl. it was an obvious fact with him even wanting to snarl like a wounded animal.. he didn't. still, it wouldn't be like what she wanted. whatever she had cooking in her dreamy little head. he wasn't a prince and sure as shit had no interest in being. Luca knew he could dwell. he could wallow in this empty rage and simmer in darkness but for once he didn't want that. for a little bit things were finally looking up and he wanted something else. "but if it is good enough we can still be friends. i don't have a lot of those so it would fucking suck to lose you as one."

Riley Of course she was going to be sorry. Because she was a people pleaser, she didn't want to inconvenience anyone, and she could tell this was a lot for him to take in. But she didn't say that, she kept it in. She needed to stop trying to do everything in hopes of pleasing other. She needed to allow herself to be put first, at least once or twice. And that was echoed by his words. She was allowed to feel whatever she felt. A nod, partially to him, but mostly to herself. A confirmation of sorts. And that mantra, it was mentally sent right back towards him. She wasn't expecting a declaration of love from him. She knew it was a long shot, him returning those feelings, and she had told herself this enough that his response wasn't as hard to swallow as it once might have been. It still hurt, but, but she could deal with it. She could move on. So she sent him a smile, a slightly sad one, but a smile none the less. Because she'd rather have him in her life then not at all. "Of course it's good enough. I really do value this friendship." Suddenly feeling awkward, because this was a big confession and she now had to process the fact that he in fact did not return the feelings, the blonde abruptly stood up, grabbing the empty tray of fries to throw out. "I'm probably gonna go back in the water," it was still hot outside. "Join me when you're done, if you want."

#lucachristensen #auradonluca #d: the cataclysmic #dash

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