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Buy Home Theatre in Online with Best Price | Top Ten Electronics
Looking to buy audio and television online at the best price? Look no further than Top Ten Electronics! Located in Vashi, Ghansoli, and Aroli in Navi Mumbai, Top Ten Electronics offers a wide range of high-quality home theatre systems to enhance your audio and visual experience. With their convenient online platform, you can browse through their collection and find the perfect home theatre system to suit your needs. Visit their website at https://www.toptenelectronics.in/audio-and-television/audio/home-theatre and get ready to immerse yourself in an unparalleled entertainment experience.
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Best LED TV Repair Services in Pune
Looking for the Best LED TV Repair Service in Pune? Look no further! At LED TV Repairing, we provide professional LED TV repair and maintenance services at your doorstep. Whether you need the Best LCD TV Repair in Pune, Best Plasma TV Repair in Pune, or repairs for any other TV model, our expert technicians have you covered.
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Home Theater Stores Near Me
Home Theater Stores Near Me: Why You’d Need One and How It’s Great
In today’s fast-paced world, the home theater experience has become more than just a luxury; it’s a way to escape reality and immerse yourself in cinematic magic without leaving the comfort of your home. Whether you’re a movie buff, a gaming enthusiast, or just someone who enjoys hosting friends for a binge-watching session, having a well-equipped home theater can elevate your entertainment experience significantly. However, to achieve that perfect setup, it’s essential to understand the benefits of visiting home theater stores near me and how they can help you create the ideal home entertainment environment.
Understanding the Home Theater Experience
Before diving into the reasons to visit local home theater stores, let’s explore what a home theater entails. A well-designed home theater typically includes a large screen or projector, high-quality audio systems, comfortable seating, and ambient lighting. It’s a space where you can enjoy movies, shows, music, and gaming in a way that rivals commercial theaters. However, to create a genuinely immersive experience, you need the right equipment, knowledge, and guidance.
Personalized Guidance from Experts
One of the most significant advantages of visiting home theater stores is the access to knowledgeable staff who are passionate about home entertainment. Unlike online shopping, where product specifications and reviews can often lead to confusion, in-store experts can provide personalized advice based on your specific needs.
For instance, they can help you choose the right audio system that complements your television or projector, ensuring you achieve the best sound quality. They can also recommend the perfect screen size based on your room dimensions and seating arrangements. This level of personalized guidance is invaluable, especially for those new to home theater technology.
Hands-On Experience
When you visit home theater stores near me, you have the unique opportunity to experience products firsthand. You can listen to speakers, watch projectors in action, and feel the quality of different displays. This hands-on experience allows you to make more informed decisions about what equipment will work best for your home.
Imagine sitting in a dedicated demo room where you can adjust sound settings and see how they affect the overall experience. You can test various screen sizes and resolutions, giving you a clear idea of what you’ll enjoy most in your home setup. This tactile experience is something that online shopping simply cannot replicate.
Comprehensive Selection of Products
Home theater stores often carry a wide range of products, from budget-friendly options to high-end gear. This extensive selection means you can find the perfect balance between quality and affordability. Whether you’re looking for a basic soundbar or a full surround sound system, you’ll likely find multiple options tailored to different budgets.
Additionally, many stores offer exclusive deals and packages that you won’t find online. These bundles can include discounts on essential accessories such as HDMI cables, wall mounts, and furniture that enhance your home theater setup. With so many choices available, you can create a customized experience that fits your preferences and budget.
Professional Installation Services
Setting up a home theater can be a daunting task, especially for those unfamiliar with the technology. Fortunately, many home theater stores offer professional installation services. These experts can ensure that all components are set up correctly and efficiently, allowing you to enjoy your new system without the hassle.
Professional installation can include calibrating your audio system for optimal sound quality, setting up your projector for the best viewing experience, and configuring your remote controls. This peace of mind is invaluable, particularly if you’re investing a significant amount of money in your home entertainment system.
The Importance of Compatibility
When building a home theater, ensuring that all your components work seamlessly together is crucial. Home theater stores can help you navigate the complexities of compatibility between devices. The staff can provide insights into which brands work best together and recommend products that will enhance your overall experience.
For instance, if you already own a specific television brand, the experts can guide you toward sound systems and streaming devices that integrate well with your existing equipment. This compatibility ensures you won’t run into issues down the line, allowing you to enjoy your home theater without interruptions.
Enhancing the Home Environment
A well-designed home theater doesn’t just improve your entertainment options; it can also enhance your home environment. By investing in quality equipment, you create a space that encourages relaxation and enjoyment. It’s a room where friends and family can gather, making lasting memories during movie nights, sports events, or gaming sessions.
Moreover, a home theater can increase the value of your property. Potential buyers often appreciate a well-equipped entertainment space, and having a dedicated area for movies and games can set your home apart from others on the market.
Staying Current with Technology
The world of home entertainment is constantly evolving, with new technologies and innovations emerging regularly. Home theater stores are often at the forefront of these developments, providing the latest equipment and trends in home entertainment.
By visiting your local home theater store, you can stay updated on the newest audio and visual technologies, such as 4K and 8K resolution displays, Dolby Atmos sound systems, and smart home integrations. Knowledgeable staff can guide you on which technologies are worth investing in and how they can enhance your viewing experience.
Customer Support and Warranty Services
Another critical aspect of shopping at home theater stores near me is the customer support and warranty services offered. In-store purchases often come with the added benefit of local support. If you encounter issues with your equipment, you can return to the store for assistance rather than navigating complex online customer service channels.
Additionally, many stores provide extended warranties and service plans that cover repairs and replacements. This assurance can give you peace of mind, knowing that you’re covered in case of unexpected issues.
Conclusion
Investing in a home theater is an exciting journey that can transform the way you enjoy entertainment. By visiting home theater stores near me, you gain access to expert advice, hands-on experiences, and a comprehensive selection of products tailored to your needs. From personalized guidance to professional installation and ongoing support, local home theater stores offer invaluable resources that enhance your home entertainment experience.
Whether you’re building your first home theater or upgrading your existing setup, taking the time to explore your local options can lead to a more enjoyable and rewarding experience. So, don’t hesitate—visit a home theater store near you today and take the first step toward creating your ultimate entertainment haven!
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Shortwave Radiogram, 14-18 September 2023: Digital modes that support local journalism
This weekend's Shortwave Radiogram will include an item recalling the events of September 11, 2001 in Manhattan. On that day, I was a broadcaster at the Voice of America, producing and presenting the weekly show Communications World. My editor/boss told me to turn on the television. When I became aware of what was unfolding, I contacted Ralph Brandi and other friends from the North American Shortwave Association who lived near New York City. They informed me of disruptions to local broadcasting in New York (many stations had transmitters on top of the World Trade Center towers). Ralph also provided audio from the local all-news radio stations. At the time, VOA English was VOA News Now, itself an intensive all-news format (based on a proposal to VOA management I had written a few years earlier). I knew the presenters in the studio would need something to fill their time until reports from VOA correspondents started to filter in. I went live (not my usual role) in the VOA News Now studio to report on broadcasting developments in New York City. They also played some of the audio from the New York radio stations. When I left the VOA building late afternoon on September 11, the adjacent National Mall was almost entirely devoid of the usual tourists. I did encounter a couple from the UK. "You certainly picked an interesting day to visit Washington," I commented. They asked where they could find a cup of tea. I directed them to hotel nearby. Otherwise, Washington was empty. Most federal employees had been sent home hours earlier. There were police vehicles parked on the Mall. Fortunately, the terrorists were not able to crash an airplane into the US Capitol, virtually next door to VOA. But they did hit the Pentagon. I smelled the smoke from Pentagon as I was driving home to suburban Virginia on the George Washington Parkway. The next day, my young son and I drove to a spot near the Pentagon where we had a close view of the damage, and could still smell the smoke. The other Shortwave Radiogram news item this weekend is a detailed story by VOA reporter Liam Scott about the decline of local newspapers in much of the United States. The online VOA version is here. A video of last weekend's Shortwave Radiogram (program 321) is provided by Scott in Ontario (Friday 1300 UTC). The audio archive is maintained by Mark in the UK. Analysis is provided by Roger in Germany. Here is the lineup for Shortwave Radiogram, program 322, 14-18 September 2023, in MFSK modes as noted: 1:41 MFSK32: Program preview 2:49 MFSK32: The boatlift of September 11, 2001* 8:20 MFSK64: US news deserts and the Marion County Record 16:07 MFSK64: This week's images* 28:39 MFSK32: Closing announcements Please send reception reports to [email protected] And visit http://swradiogram.net X/Twitter: @SWRadiogram or https://twitter.com/swradiogram (visit during the weekend to see listeners’ results) Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/567099476753304 Shortwave Radiogram Gateway Wiki: https://wiki.radioreference.com/index.php/Shortwave_Radiogram_Gateway
Other Shortwave broadcast programs that include digital text and images include The Mighty KBC, Pop Shop Radio and Radio North Europe International (RNEI). Links to these fine broadcasts, with schedules, are posted here.
H0b0_Radio in Washington state received these images UTC 9 September 2023, 0230-0300 UTC , 9265 kHz from WINB Pennsylvania ...
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How to Choose the Best TV Electronics for Your Home in Delhi
If you're looking to buy a new television set in Delhi, you're in luck. The market is filled with a variety of options that cater to all budgets and needs. But with so many options to choose from, it can be overwhelming to select the right TV for your home. Here are some factors to consider when choosing the best LCD Repair RK Puram for your home in Delhi.
Screen Size
The screen size of a TV is one of the most important factors to consider. The size of the TV screen you choose should be based on the size of your room and the distance between the TV and the viewing area. For example, if you have a small room, a TV with a screen size of 32-43 inches will be appropriate. If you have a larger room, you can opt for a TV with a screen size of 50-60 inches.
Resolution
Resolution is another critical factor to consider when choosing a LCD TV Repair in South Delhi. The higher the resolution, the clearer and sharper the image will be. The most common resolutions available in the market are Full HD (1920 x 1080), 4K Ultra HD (3840 x 2160), and 8K Ultra HD (7680 x 4320). While 4K and 8K Ultra HD offer superior picture quality, they are more expensive than Full HD.
Display Type
TVs come in various display types, including LED, OLED, and QLED. LED TVs are the most common and affordable, while OLED and QLED are more expensive but offer superior picture quality. OLED TVs have better contrast and black levels, while QLED TVs offer brighter colors.
Smart TV Features
Smart TV features have become increasingly popular over the years, allowing users to access the internet and stream content from various platforms. If you plan on streaming content, consider buying a TV with built-in Wi-Fi and access to popular streaming services like Netflix, Amazon Prime, and YouTube.
Audio Quality
Audio quality is often overlooked when buying a TV, but it's just as important as picture quality. Look for TVs with built-in speakers that offer at least 20 watts of power output. If you want a more immersive audio experience, consider buying a soundbar or a home theater system.
Brand Reputation
The brand reputation of a TV manufacturer is another factor to consider when making a purchase. Opt for brands that have a good reputation in the market, such as Samsung, Sony, LG, and Panasonic. These brands are known for producing high-quality TVs that offer excellent performance and durability.
You Can Also Check :-
Samsung LED TV Repair Near Me
LG LED TV Repair Near Me
Sony LED TV Repair Near Me
Price
Price is always a crucial factor to consider when buying a TV. Set a budget before you start shopping and stick to it. While it's tempting to buy the latest and most expensive TV on the market, it may not be the best value for your money. Look for TVs that offer the features you need at a reasonable price.
Conclusion
Choosing the best LCD Repair Dwarka for your home in Delhi can be overwhelming, but with these factors in mind, you'll be able to make an informed decision. Consider the screen size, resolution, display type, smart TV features, audio quality, brand reputation, and price when shopping for a TV. Remember to research before making a purchase and compare prices and features across different brands and models. With a little bit of effort, you'll find the perfect TV for your home in no time.
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Ten Minutes Car Stereo Installation
We encourage you to have all your cars and truck audio products skillfully mounted, however we do equip many installation accessories such as amplifier electrical wiring packages, sound deadening material by Dynamat, subwoofers as well as speaker cord and also power/ground cable in different gauges by the foot. Without the proper amplifier electrical wiring set your amplifier may not execute to its optimal possibility. We additionally construct personalized Sub Boxes, Kick Panels, Door Panels and also Amplifier Tubs in timber, plexiglass and also fiberglass. From Cadillac's to Watercrafts, ATVs to Infinitis, from picking a brand-new indoor cloth and style, to adding lights and also window tint, to a personalized speaker boxes, well make it look and also seem superior. We can make your stereo the very best; providing fantastic sound, making telephone calls over Bluetooth connections, and also also providing you full performance for satellite radio, CD players, built-in and also retractable display screens, car stereo installation and high-resolution sound (without distortion). Right here are the vehicle stereo includes we can not live without. Concentrating on remarkable workmanship for auto electronic devices of all kinds, Bumper to Bumper Car Audio supplies terrific customer care right in addition to our wonderful vehicle DVD players, vehicle alarms, and various other first-class products as well as installations. Moreover, a vehicle audio installer have to have good customer care skills to be able to engage with customers in a expert as well as considerate manner.
A new automobile stereo gives remarkable high quality as well as a series of integrated features not found in factory radios. We're a family-owned cars and truck electronic devices shop, and we function to bring our neighborhood close friends as well as next-door neighbors the terrific selection of vehicle stereo and lorry security elements as well as devices they require to update their cars and trucks as well as trucks. Having actually supplied the automobile stereo installment Renton has actually relied upon for over 15 years, our specialists right here at Stereo Centro are ready to help. Providing the cars and truck sound installment Renton citizens trust fund most, we at Stereo Centro supply premium service with a full variety of services, our professionals right here at Stereo Centro can offer a variety of audio and video system installation as well as style choices for your RV, vehicle, golf cart, or fleet lorries. We can safeguard your vehicle audio financial investment with an Alarm system from Compustar. There are a great deal of things that need to be dealt with in an automobile stereo like EQ, crossover settings, adjustments, stage, gains and so on. Unfortunately, several "expert" installers available do not take all of this right into factor to consider as well as might not recognize just how to appropriately tune a system. On the Car Audio side, we offer as well as set up a full line of stereo elements-- CD Players, Mobile TELEVISION, Satellite Radio, Speakers, Subs and also Amplifiers.
An automobile stereo isn't constantly simply the receiver or the CD gamer. We suggest having your system professionally installed as well as skillfully tuned in order to see to it you are getting the most out of your vehicle sound equipment. Jam Master Car Audio has the experience that you need as well as has set up more subwoofers that we can count. Do not risk it! Have it skillfully set up by Cartronics in Nashville, today! With their abundant experience and also ability, the automobile noise organisation will certainly provide you the correct sort of arrangements recommending the updates you have to go for, the setups you need to introduce and the sort of administration they need to give you. You need to determine the sort of rig you wish to place right into your lorry when you start your setup. If you require a lot more, then come right into your selection of Halfords shop where a member of team will certainly have the ability to review what components, fittings and also accessories you could need. Excellent control panel packages will aid make a new stereo look wonderful in your automobile by illuminating your interior.
When it involves Car Audio and Car Alarms, even more people trust fund Direct Car Audio than any kind of various other vehicle stereo retailer. Look into our gallery for examples of our vehicle audio installment work. If you have a system that was done in other places as well as really feel like it never ever truly sounded comparable to you believed it would, subwoofers near me allow us inspect it out. So come over or offer us a phone call as well as let us offer your Automotive and also Car Audio needs! We additionally lug a full line of remote auto starters for those cold Connecticut Winters as well as Hot Summers. With over twenty-five years of experience, Auto-N-Audio now uses full automative service as well as repair. Fantastic product, wonderful mount, great customer support and a great price! 1992. We make every effort to carry one of the most premium products readily available to insure client satisfaction. From satellite radio to Bluetooth connection for hands-free telephone call, we will certainly work with you to ensure that you are obtaining the product or services that will make life in your car safer and also extra enjoyable. Visit and also speak to a pro, we 'd like to help you out with all your automobile sound requirements. Conveniently situated in Freehold, NJ, Bumper to Bumper Car Audio serves the mobile electronics needs of customers throughout the location, consisting of the towns of Lakewood, Millstone Township, Twin Rivers, Rossmoor, Morganville, Matawan, Farmingdale, and also Asbury Park.
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Seems like Humans are the problem
T.S. Eliot loves to talk about huminites alienation.
Let us be honest with ourselves; we have all felt that moment where we just feel like we are the only ones in this universe.
However, T.S. Eliot loves the concept of alienation and the sense of being alone that, when reading through his selected poem of the anthology, I could not help but think and feel like being alone. J. Alfred Prufrock, A Games of Chess and Burnt Norton all highlight a sense of isolation in a world that is grandeur and alive.
Reading Eliot's poems during 2020 is haunting as the recent global pandemic event has put all of us under lockdown. We suddenly felt alienated because we have all lost our lives basic need, which is human contact, only to replace it with technology.
The theme of alienation is very dominant in The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, where the speaker J. Alfred Prufrock highlights society's alienating people, whether that be due to differences, education and appearance; society will permanently alienate someone for their differences. It then leads the person to question themselves, just like how Prufrock questions his ability to talk to this woman he feels passionate about but yet repeats himself, "Do I dare? and Do I dare?".
The Love Song of Alfred Prufrock eerily reflects in the society we all live in, especially in a digital world where now days having a brand to your name is a verification of who you are. Although the poem's era is in the 1920s, the concept of societal alienation is fundamental as representing who you are determines everything from social status, wealth, and how you are seen in society. However, as we live in a digital age, that has changed everything because of social media and the easy projection of brands and virtual connection. It put us in a position to lead lifestyles that could be fabricated and very isolated.
Yes, I know we all keep hearing how social media is bad for us and how it has damaged our society but let us not forget they are hard facts and evidence out there if why such point even exists. Eliot's point, as I said, is very haunting because, in his view, modernism shows a “disintegration of life and mental stability” and as we are keeping hearing, that is how social media is damaging our society.
With T.S. Eliot other poems, A Game of Chess and Burton Norton, similar themes are discussed about alienation and modernism problems.
A Game of Chess explores humanity's disconnection by having a dark undertone of how we live in a modern world. First of all, this poem's setting is ambiguous, but it is lavish as “the chair she sat in, like a burnished thorn.” So, is the woman in this poem a queen? We will never know because does the woman know herself if she is the queen. The line “withered stumps of time” shows how humans are disconnected. We use a medieval concept of kings and queens and apply it to our everyday lives where everyone wants to be treated like they part of the royal society, which alienates us from reality.
Similarly, Burnt Norton explores alienation themes by using phrases like “Internal darkness, deprivation and destruction of all properties” Eliot again show how the modern world is doomed. The difference with this poem is the use of past, present and future all coexist and how humans have repeated the sins of the past, bringing it to the present and will continue it to the future (“on its metalled ways of time past and time future”). Relate this to A Game of Chess, and you can see why the use of iambic pentameter starts to lose its rhythm because as time progresses, the structure changes, making it unstable.
What does the future mean for humans and technology? Krapp’s Last Tape has one perspective
You must have read this title and must have thought, “hmm, what does the future mean for humans and technology?” Humans and technology have had a harmonious relationship throughout the ages where technology has benefitted our species is progressing throughout the world.
However, Krapp's Last tape would say otherwise. It depicts a decrepit old Krapp at his “den” with a “tape recorder, microphone and a number of cardboard boxes containing reels of recorded tapes.” That does sound very bleak, but it is meant to sound like that because it shows the over-reliance on technology as we progress more into the future. Technology has been used for good like prosthesis, telecommunications, television, the internet, and other things. However, it does raise a question of how much of ourselves are we going to give to technology? Are we willing to let technology replace us? These sort of questions we have to ask ourselves as the future nears.
The tape recorder in Krapp’s Last Tape may seem like an ordinary device at first. Still, it symbolises a much deeper meaning as Beckett points out in the ending stage direction, “Krapp motionless before him. The tape runs on in silence”. The tape is personified; it symbolises a grandeur “being” of immortality, whereas Krapp is just a fragile old man running on his last leg until he is nothing but bones.
Every year there is a new release of technologies that changes everything. Apple, for example, changes the technological landscape with its latest iPhone, iPad and MacBook every year. Thus, it puts this pressure on everyone to buy the newest product because it is so cutting edge even though it is only a slight improvement from the previous model. As humans, we are like guinea pigs to experiment. Look at the other technologies we have, Amazon Alexa, to remind us of appointments, dates, or even just to have a chat.
Now the tape recorder that Krapp has is just a device that stores audio recordings; it may seem harmless and beneficial but look at it this way. Krapp has a collection of his audio recording that he needs to clinch to his memories. It is for him to relive the past, and that is the troubling thing because, as humans, we are wired and programmed to relive memories through a mental image. If we remove that via an audio recording and even pictures, we release our mind's valuable asset.
It is daunting that we live in an age where we are comfortable with having our data like shopping, searches or what we even ordered on Uber Eats sorted and shared across the digital world; it makes me wonder about our privacy and how much is it valued? It does question that social media has made it easy for us to share our pictures and have them stored there forever for everyone to see and yet to be analysed beyond its initial reason.
Nevertheless, technology will forever shape our future for good or bad reasons, but our ambition will determine our morality and our existence in that future. What will that future look like when we rely on Artificial Intelligence to meet our human needs? If science fiction has told us anything is those good intentions can be lead us astray.
Do we have a God complex? Or are we just morally driven to a path of ill ambition?
Have you just sat there and thought, “I wonder what it will be like to create a new being?”. If you have not, then you are not as crazy as Victor Frankenstein. If you have, then you might be as mad as Frankenstein but not as quiet.
Mary Shelly classic Frankenstein is widely known throughout pop culture and the world to the point where every monster and science fiction tale will have an underlying message and recreation of a human creating a grotesque creature. Still, it is not hard to see why it has been recreated so many times.
Human morality is often debated a lot, especially within the scientific community, because how far are we willing to play God? What is God? Moreover, who is ready to stop us? These sorts of questions are constantly asked within our species as we continue to evolve.
“whose future lot it was in their hands to direct to happiness or misery.” What does this mean to you? To Victor, it is an idea that your parents essentially play God from the moment you are born. Like God, the concept of nurture, care, and help you direct to your future, whether happy or sad, is your parents who do it.
It may seem a little far-fetched, but there is a point to this as when we have children, we want the best for them, like how God does the best for us; however, most of us believe
God is sin-free; he can do no wrong as God is above all beings, so whom do we blame for all the trouble we suffer. We condemn the devil.
So, who are we to even think this? After all, we as species are relatively new, only being 250,000 years old,but the advances we have made are astronomical; from creating languages to art and making substantial scientific discoveries, we have evolved quicker than other species lived. Nevertheless, the one thing we have not been able to do is to create a sentient being.
Has that ever stopped us? No, it never has because our race is built on the fundamentals of finding a purpose within this universe. We always ask ourselves the question of are we alone in this universe? If not, then what other beings are out there and are they more advance than us?
What Frankenstein teaches us that we are scared to be alone, so to eradicate that loneliness, we fantasies and makeup beings that will perfect us. However, in some cases, perfection is also our monster, like Victor’s monster, which leads to neglection, alienation, and judgment.
Let us be honest; humans do not have an outstanding record of celebrating differences. Our history book is full of events that show us how we despise differences, like slavery and the abomination against Black people, the Jewish Holocaust, Islamophobia. Moments we question humanity, and yet in all of these events, the superior majority is always against the minorities and in my view, that is a God complex.
The idea of humans creating a new life that is intelligent and sentient juxtaposes us. They could be a very high possibility that society will reject a new species that we have created because it is not human. If we cannot accept the differences within our race, how will we accept a new race? We will just reject it like the monster or, even worse, kill it, but even then, we are ideally and morally happy to do that and given our track record with animal extinction.
However, on the other hand, we live in a time where acceptance is becoming more and more viable, especially with everyone difference, so unlike rejecting the monster, we come and love it, but that does bring a problem of how accepting are we willing to be? We are human, after all, and we do not operate in a black and white world; our nature and intention will always put us in this grey area, and that is the area were we initially show our true morality and ambitions.
As technology advances and genetic engineering becomes a reality, we have to think about our intentions and our willingness to act like God when it comes to a new life. Are we ready to use gene therapy to eradicate diseases before birth, and if so, what impact will that have on the human race and its longevity? As Robert Sparrow points out, “Just because we have the capabilities to perform enhancements, it does not mean we need to perform it.”
Charles Dicken’s Tale of Two Cities is very much a reality
Charles Dickens is famously renowned for speaking out against a society catered towards the rich and leaves its poor in debt. After all, his famous books Oliver Twist and A Christmas Carol show the people's inequality during Victorian England, but those books were optimistic; they had a happy ending.
On the hand, a Tale of Two Cities does not have a happy undertone, and in my opinion, it does show the grim reality of how we have created a world that favours the few and neglects the people.
Look at the mills that have survived; mills symbolise a strong workforce, productivity, capitalism a well-established economy. They also represent class distinction, poor working condition, and fear. It clearly says in the book, “samples of people who had undergone a terrible grinding and regrinding in the mills”. Less fortunate people had to experience, and no matter if this was in England and France, the message was the same, humans are expendable, and the poorer you are, the less value you will have to your name. Sadly, that is true to this day, where wealth inequality just grows further.
Let me just throw some numbers out there for you. In England, at the end of the 2020 financial year, the wealth inequality grew to a point where the income of the top 20% grew six times more than the most deficient 20%, and the top 10% had an income stream that was 50% greater than the poorest 10%.
That is shocking, but what is more surprising is that this all happened during a global pandemic that resulted in many people losing their jobs. This is to be expected because of how our society has been structured, and figures like Dickens challenged this economic structure, so are we and will continue to do so.
Dickens novel also points out the force of the people as they make the majority of the nation is solid and to be frightened about as “urging one another, and themselves to madness, with the wildest cries and action.”
Events throughout 2020, like the Black Lives Matter to the Indian Farmer protest, is a perfect illustration of movements reforming and challenging society. Dickens' novel mirrors this that no matter where in time and what era, society will always be dysfunctional due to the few exploiting the rest.
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Do you have a signifigant other at the moment? Do you love him/her? Nope. Can ya’ll imagine me ever saying yes to this kind of question? Ha! How many people do you live with? Are these people related to you? I live with my parents, brother, and doggo. Have you ever considered anyone or anything too personal for your liking? I think I’m too tired to understand this. Are you a confident person, or do you keep to yourself usually? I’m confident I’m a complete mess. Have you ever had to have surgery before? What was this for? Yeah, I’ve had a few.
Are you listening to any music right now? What song is it? Nope. I’m listening to an ASMR video. Where was the last place you vacationed to? Did you enjoy this time? Disneyland back in the beginning of February. Feels like it was forever ago. I had an amazing time. When was the last time you ate pizza? Where from? Was it good? I ate a frozen pizza I cooked in the oven last night. Yeah, it was good. It was a 5 cheese and garlic sauce French bread pizza. Is there anyone right now that you are simply/overly infatuated with? No. What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? Anything other? Metrosexual isn’t an orientation, but anyway I’m straight. Is there anyone you know who is utterly repulsive? Who is this person? No one I know personally, no. Are you related to any elected officials? What is their position? Nope. Do you have a certain standard you follow, when it comes to relationships? Uhh I don’t know. I don’t really have any real relationship experience to say. Although, one thing that is super important to me now is that I find someone who is very patient and understanding. Who is your closest friend? Why are they so close to you? The closest people to me are my family. Who did you last hug? When did this hug take place? Where? My doggo. It’s been a couple months since I’ve hugged another person. Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? The lady who does my hair is the last person (other than me obviously) who has touched my hair in a very long time. Who was the last person close to you, that died? Did you cry? My dog, Brandie. She passed away the day after Christmas 2016. I was devastated and heartbroken. It was unexpected and happened so fast like she literally got sick one day and died two days later. I was a complete mess. Is there anyone out there who can make you smile at any time? My doggo. What is your favorite television show? Why do you watch this show? I have several. If you’re in school, do you like this school you attend? Or do you not? I’m done with school. Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? Back when I used to smoke weed sometimes it wasn’t legal yet, but that’s it. What is your favorite word to say out loud? Did you just say that word? Uhhh. *shrug* Who is the one person out there who makes you feel very special? I’m nothing special. Is there a certain person out there who gives you butterflies? No. Do people call you a low-life sometimes/always? Why do they call you that? I’ve said that about myself and many other things. Do you want to tell anyone anything right now? Who is this person? Nah. What is the fourteenth word of the song you’re currently listening to? I’m not listening to music right now. Are there any foods out there you just can’t refrain from eating every week? Wingstop and ramen. Do you like Mexican food? What’s your favorite meal under that genre of food? I only eat burritos with beans, rice, cheese, sour cream, and guac.
Do you enjoy shopping? Who do you usually go shopping with anyways? I like online shopping for things other than food. I’ve been doing my shopping mostly online for the past few years. As for food shopping, I used to go grocery shopping with my mom but I haven’t gone anywhere since this whole quarantine/lockdown thing started. When you see someone attractive, what’s the first thing you look for? Well, if I just see them then I just notice the physical stuff like how they look and what they’re wearing. Depending on the situation, I might even get to see how they interact with other people, which can be telling.
How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Do you find this healthy? Generally just once. How old were you when you lost your virginity? Who’d you lose it to anyways? I haven’t. Do you wash your own clothes? Or does someone else do that for you? My mom helps me with that. Are you afraid of thunderstorms? What exactly makes you afraid of them? I used to be, but I love ‘em. What color are the shutters on your house by the windows, if there are any? We don’t have shutters. When was the last time you attended church? What is the name of this church? I went to a church event with Ty back in 2016. Early last year I started listening to the audio a local church near me uploaded to their website every Sunday of their Sunday service. Earlier this year they started uploading a video of the Sunday service. Now the past few weeks they’ve been doing a livestream because of the whole quarantine/lockdown situation. I plan to attend physically at some point, but for now this has been nice. Do you enjoy talking smack to those annoying telemarketers? Is it funny? I don’t even answer their calls. Who was the last person you held hands with? Were they taller/shorter? My doggo, ha. She loves holding hands. She literally tightens her grip when you hold her paw. If you let go, she puts her paw up like ‘no, come back.’ It’s so cute.
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THE IMPOSSIBLE STAIRCASE – A CONVERSATION WITH ANDREW JUDAH
Andrew Judah is based in Kelowna—but don’t call them a Kelowna band.
“It’s impossible not to be influenced by your environment in some way, but I’m not writing about the Okanagan and the sound is not based on anything to do with the Okanagan,” their frontman (and namesake) told us over coffee earlier this month.
“Yeah, it might be shaped by the people you spend time with… less by the lake,” bassist Caleb McAlpine chimed in beside him.
Fair enough, some of the band members themselves having grown up or spent extended periods of time in other cities. Andrew Judah was a solo project first; his debut album, The Preacher’s Basement, came out in 2011.
Judah still writes the material and handles most of the instrumentation on studio recordings, but the group of like-minded musicians has been a boost to his live shows and creative process. McAlpine even co-produced the new record with Judah – or, in the latter’s words, “pulled me back from the ledge when I was having doubts about something, or about to delete everything.”
Impossible Staircase, set for release on April 20th, pulls back from the synth-y melodies of Judah’s last album. It was written about a close friend’s battle with addiction, and ties into an overarching concept of being trapped in a feedback loop.
There is piano, guitars, and drums, but also hints of the less conventional—violin, autoharp, trombone. The recently released single “Burn it Down” is eerily cinematic; Judah’s lyrics are a mix of metaphor and literal, his vocals poised amidst the pulsing rhythm.
Impossible Staircase by Andrew Judah
One of the few instruments Judah didn’t play on every track himself was the drums. Most of the percussion was recorded by Zac Gauthier – who was featured on Judah’s last album, Metanoia, as well – in a cabin near Salmon Arm.
“There are some pretty explosive moments [on the record] that only he could pull off,” said McAlpine. “He is amazing,” Judah agreed.
Chloe Davidson, who is a member of Kelowna bluegrass quartet Under the Rocks, handled violin duties.
Every song on Impossible Staircase flows into the next as if in – you guessed it – a never-ending cycle. Judah also incorporates Shepard tones—audio illusions which give the impression of a pitch rising, or falling, forever.
“It’s a loop, but it tricks your ears into thinking you’re hearing this very stressful, continuously descending sound,” Judah said of the technique. (Film score composer Hans Zimmer is a fan, if you needed another reason to appreciate its emotive power.)
Judah’s favourite song on the album changes day to day, but at the time of this interview he settled on “Lose My Mind,” which will be released as a single on Friday.
“It’s just a very sincere song about a very serious topic, and I managed to do it in a way that… I don’t hate?” He laughed. “It’s hard to write from an honest place about something that’s happening in your life, and not have it be cheesy. I’m pretty critical of things that feel cheesy.”
McAlpine went with “Penrose” – a seven-minute tune that has proven to be quite the challenge in rehearsals.
“There’s a repeating line that feels like it goes on for two minutes… there's no room to breathe. I'm going hard on a shaker, playing keys, singing, and I'm just not thinking. Almost every time without fail, I feel like I'm about to pass out.”
It’s something we don’t often consider—complex arrangements, pieced together between the walls of a studio, written with the headphone listener in mind and not the immediacy in having to recreate them. Rehearsals are the first opportunity the band members have to flesh out the songs for their live show.
Andrew Judah was set to embark on a BC tour this month, but postponed the dates due to COVID-19 concerns. Victoria was one city they were most looking forward to revisiting; they played a sold-out show at Vinyl Envy in October, and have also been on the bill for Psych & Soul – an annual music showcase put on by the record store.
“Really good community there,” said McAlpine. “We will never not go to Victoria to play shows.”
In light of the circumstances, they recorded a live set at Judah’s studio, Sounds Suspicious. It can be enjoyed with a glass of wine, and a friend, providing that friend is streaming the video from the confines of their own home.
youtube
The band is no stranger to larger crowds, having been a part of Skookum, Vancouver Fringe Festival, and Rifflandia in recent years. They were scheduled to play the (also postponed) AltiTunes Festival at Big White alongside Canadian rock darlings Arkells and Dear Rouge.
But there’s nothing quite like the charm of a room, and they lean towards intimate, self-made events at coffee shops and other less traditional venues when performing locally. It is time consuming, Judah acknowledged, but makes the end experience that much more worthwhile. “Everything is intentional, as opposed to playing in a bar where half the people might not even be listening.”
The most anticipated part of their set is also the most unpredictable: the group marches from the stage to the middle of the crowd, and play a song without the use of mics or amplification.
They’ve done it surrounded by hundreds under the cozy lights of Canoe Coffee Roasters, to a lone table of three in Port Alberni. It is a moment that lends itself to connection and vulnerability – and audiences have been receptive to that.
“It turns things from look at what we’re doing, to look at what we’re engaging in,” McAlpine said. “We go back on stage and it changes from that point on.”
The cover art for Impossible Staircase was drawn by Max Weiner, who also did the art for two of Judah’s previous records. Keeping with the cyclical theme, it shows an ouroboros – a snake eating its own tail – in the shape of a DNA strand—“which speaks to our behaviour being more ingrained than not,” said Judah.
The last music video Andrew Judah put out was for “Best in Show” – a song that will appear on the new record, albeit a more resonant version than what is currently released.
They don’t have any others in the works, McAlpine noting it’s something they’ll revisit once the album is out, and they see an opportunity to carry the art forward.
“I'm not a giant fan of music videos in general,” said Judah. “I don't think they’re worth doing unless they're something that can stand on their own; truly another way to look at a piece of music, as opposed to just… (The PRP: A band performing it?) Yes, exactly. That feels reductionist to do it just because.”
When he’s not working on material under the Andrew Judah banner, the frontman is a freelance composer for film and television.
It started back in 2012, when he remixed the song “Let Go” by New York experimental artist Son Lux, a.k.a. Ryan Lott. Lott’s day job was as a composer at Butter Music; one thing led to another, and Judah was offered a residency there himself.
Asked how the commercial avenue has influenced his approach to solo material, Judah admits he wasn’t very intentional with his writing when he started out. “Music was just this thing that happened… the inspiration would lead wherever it led. Since it became my job, [I think more about] what sounds are going to make people feel a certain way. It’s been an education in what to do with my own music.”
McAlpine has his own solo project, Common Fires, and a new single coming out April 13th. But he had always wanted to play in a band, and joked that he was “very sad, very bored. Never getting any better, just getting more sad and bored; slightly worse,” in the solitary endeavour.
He returned to Kelowna in 2014, having not lived in the city for about 10 years, and was planning to move again when the opportunity to collaborate with Judah – whose work he was already a fan of – arose.
“It’s been a very fruitful relationship,” McAlpine surmised.
The other members of the live band are Nathanael Sherman (guitar) and Kevin Dreger (drums). Sherman also releases music under the moniker N. Sherman, and put out a single titled “Sweet Boy” last week.
So, it seems Impossible Staircase is a fitting analogy for the musicians themselves. Multi-faceted and never satisfied. Continuously pushing their craft.
“You as a musician are probably always practicing,” McAlpine said. “You’re never not riding that bike.”
And we can be appreciative of that.
Written by: Natalie Hoy Header image by: Nathan Peacock
#Andrew Judah#Caleb McAlpine#Nathanael Sherman#music#interview#Kelowna#Natalie#Canadian music#Impossible Staircase#new music#Burn it Down#Vancouver#indie rock#band#Common Fires#ylw#yvr#Kevin Dreger
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This Photo of Us Part 1: Lips Like Strawberry Wine
To literally no one’s surprise it’s more Micoverse. Let’s just say I listened to Blake Robin’s Unhealthy Obsession one too many times.
Warnings: none for this chapter
Part 2 / Part 3
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On a wet, rainy autumn afternoon, Jacob Pierly disappeared.
----
Months before, just as spring was nudging aside the last, clingy vestiges of winter and stubbornly sprouting flowers against the still chilly mornings, Jacob Pierly met a girl. He’d ducked a coffee shop, eager to warm fingers cold from poor circulation and a breeze that had been biting since the early afternoon. Instead he got a shirt soaked with piping hot coco and a frantic, scrambling apology from the young woman who’d spilled her drink on him.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t paying attention--it was a total accident--I’ll pay for the cleaning! I’ll--I’ll buy you a new shirt! I’m so, so sorry!”
“I, uh, n-no, it’s f-fine, it’s just--it’ll come right out. It’s not a big deal,” Jake stepped back, awkwardly raising his hands to fend off the woman’s frantic cascade of paper napkins, “It was my fault, I was distracted. Let--let me buy you another one.”
“Oh, no, I couldn’t--”
“Please?”
The young woman bit her lip, dirty blonde hair in disarray, twenty or so napkins clutched in her grasp, “I...okay.” She smiled, shy and relenting, straightening up and trying to compose herself.
Jake’s heart skipped a beat for reasons entirely unrelated to preexisting medical conditions.
----
Her name was Rosanna Pearl and she was studying for a medical degree at a nearby college.
“With a minor in chemistry,” She added as they sat at a table in the cafe, each anxiously clutching at their drinks and avoiding direct eye contact, “And you can call me Rosie. Everyone else does.”
“Jake Pierly,” He said, the corner of his mouth twitching in an awkward smile, “Stay at home editor.”
Rosie giggled, “Pierly. Sounds like Pearl. Our last names kind of match. That’s a little funny. Maybe it’s fate we ran into each other.”
“Ah, maybe,” Jake could feel his ears burning as he chuckled, “But next time fate intervenes, I hope it involves less spilled hot chocolate.”
Rosie laughed, a real, resonating laugh that made her cheeks turn pink. It was such a sweet laugh that Jake found himself laughing too.
“What do you edit, if you don’t mind me asking?” Rosie asked when they had settled down.
Jake swallowed a mouthful of decaf, shrugged one shoulder and looked out the window so he didn’t have to face his problems, “Nothing special. Usually whatever anyone throws my way. Creative writing, mostly. Sometimes academic papers but there’s a lot of jargon I don’t get in those so I have to decline a lot of them. I can’t tell you how many awful books get handed off to me by these wanna-be novelists that think they’re going to be the next Stephen King or something.” He rolled his eyes, caught Rosie’s glance, and flushed, “D-don’t tell them I said that, I mean, I do the work. P-pays the bills, you know. Heh.”
“Oh no, don’t apologize, I’m pretty sure I know the type,” Rosie raised her eyebrows, “I used to work at a salon and you would not believe the bitches--the kinds of people who came through there! Awful people. Just. Terrible.”
Jake hid a smile behind the lid of his coffee cup, “Sounds like you’ve got some horror stories.”
Rosie smirked, “I’ll regale you with them sometime.” She glanced at her phone sitting on the table next to her, “But right now I really have to head out. Tell you what, coffee’s on me next time and I’ll spill all the dirty client secrets. Deal?”
Jake hummed, “Deal. What’s your number?”
----
“DAD! DAD! JAKE HAS A DATE! JAKE HAS A DATE!”
Dan looked up from the stove so fast he banged his head on the cabinet. Head smarting and eyes watering, he turned to face the teenager spilling head over heels into the kitchen, “Ow! What!? Milo, stop shouting! What did you say?”
“He didn’t say anything!” Jake shouted, spilling into the kitchen and nearly wiping out on the tile as his socks slid underneath him.
“JAKE’S GOING ON A DATE!”
Dan stared at Milo and then looked at Jake who appeared as though he’d like nothing better than to vanish through the floor, never to show himself again. His face was bright red and he was twisting his shirt into knots between his fingers, gaze darting across the room, shoulders hunched to his ears as he curled in on himself. In contrast, Milo was bouncing up and down, a wide grin on his face, snickering madly at having shared a piece of juicy gossip.
“Jake?” And even though Dan said it carefully he could still hear the eggshells popping under his feet.
“Ih-it’s not a date!” Jake said to the floor, “It’s just a coffee…meetup. Thing. To talk about work. Strictly--strictly platonic. M-maybe even business related. We only just met today and barely know each other but sh-she seems nice and stuff and we were joking around and so we’re just--just going to meet for coffee next week. It’s not a date! It’s nothing!”
Dan winked at him, “Of course, Jake. Not a date. Strictly professional. Got it.”
“You both are the worst.” Jake groaned and Milo cackled with glee.
-----
Dan and Milo left him alone about it for the time preceding the coffee meetup (though Jake suspected Milo only did so with much bribing and pleading from Dan). Jake was grateful for that much because he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten out of the house with friends apart from Dan and...well, these days it was just Dan. So this would be a nice change of pace from the usual fanfare.
Still, that didn’t stop him from fretting the morning of and changing his shirt three times. He couldn’t help it, he wanted to be presentable. That’s just who he was. He only settled down when Milo caught him trying to match ties and asked him what “his date’s favorite color was”. Dan had to stop Jake from chasing the teenager around the house with a dress shoe and threatening to smack the smile right off his face.
“When do you think you’ll be home?” Dan asked as he ushered Milo away to find something more productive to do with his time.
“Um, no later than 5?” Jake hazard, pulling on a jacket, “I’ve got a video call with a client I don’t want to look like roadkill for tomorrow, so I’ll be home in time for dinner and a decent night’s sleep.”
“Call me if you need anything.”
“Yes, dear,” Jake chided gently, “I’ll keep my phone on and I promise not to sleep with any strangers.”
“Jake…”
“Whoa! Dad’s cheating on dad!”
“Milo, go to your room!”
“This house is a nightmare!”
Jake could only laugh as he stepped outside and pulled the door shut.
The drive to the cafe was short but enough for Jake to work himself back up into a nervous frenzy all over again. He nearly shut his leg in the car door and tripped over his own feet as he stepped into the cafe.
A glance around and he met Rosie’s pretty brown eyes at a seat near the back, private and away from the crowd, sheltered mostly by a bakery display. She smiled and waved and he made his way over, slinging his jacket over the back of the chair as he sat down.
“Hi, um, hello Rosie, sorry. I hope you haven’t been waiting long. You haven’t, have you? It’s just I had to wrangle Milo and--”
“No, no, you’re fine, I’ve only been here a couple of minutes,” She assured him with a smile, “Who’s Milo? Your cat?”
Jake choked on his own breath of air and struggled not to laugh, “Oh my g--no, if he heard you call him that--good lord. No, no, Milo’s my son. Adopted son. My roommate Dan and I are looking after him since his dad, our friend, um…” He swallowed, the lies tasting foul in his mouth.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain. I’m sorry I asked.” Rosie said quietly. She shifted in her seat, glancing away from him, “Wow, what a way to start the day. Good job, Rosie.”
“Ah, it’s not...a big deal. It’s been ten years.” Jake pushed his finger across the linoleum tabletop in an absent manner, “Anyway, weren’t you going to--what was it?--regale me with epic tales of your worst clients?”
Rosie smirked, “I don’t think I said it quite like that. But why don’t I get us our drinks and tell you about this lady who wanted every shade of pink in her hair.”
----
It carried on, as these things tended to.
Every few weeks, Jake and Rosie would meet up at a cafe or a restaurant, and share drinks, a meal, and stories of their lives. Jake told her about college, about the red head father of his adopted son, something he hadn’t talked about to anyone for ages. In response, Rosie admitted her crippling fear of academic failure and disappointing the legacy of her dead parents. They got along incredibly well for a pair of mostly introverts, enthusiastically discussing music almost every time they met up. It made Jake light up in a way that even Dan couldn’t remember seeing before.
So of course, it had to end and end badly. Because life just couldn’t be fair to Jacob Pierly.
Dan came home from his shift one evening to find Jake slumped bonelessly on the couch in the sitting room, his expression tired and forlorn, his shirt unbuttoned and rumpled, and an empty package of Oreos open beside him. The television was stuck on the retro channel, playing old reruns of shows from the 70’s and 80’s, audio muffled by age and then cleaned up by modern tech.
“Jake…?” Dan asked tentatively, setting his coat down on the back of the couch, “Hey, buddy, you okay? Is Milo sick again?”
“Huh?” Jake blinked, coming back to himself with a small jolt and looking around as if unsure of where he was, “Oh, no, he’s over at Cody’s right now. He’s fine.”
“But...you’re not.” Dan said, easing onto the couch as if afraid he would startle his friend away, “Wanna talk about it?”
“Mm...I dunno…” Jake sighed, letting his head roll back onto the couch cushions, “Not really, but…” He sighed again, “I screwed up, Dan.”
“How’s that?”
“I...I asked Rosie out.”
Dan brightened but then immediately sobered, “Ah, that was, um, real brave of you.”
“Tch,” Jake snorted and his lip curled and for a second, Dan saw a flash of forgotten bitterness and old anger bubble to the surface, “Yeah, sure. Would have been great except she...she said no.” He deflated all over again, staring at his fingers curled loosely in his lap, looking more drawn and tired than ever, “Said I must’ve gotten the wrong impression, that she never wanted to be more than just friends. Said...we should probably...not see each other for a while.”
“Aw, Jake,” Dan murmured, “Jake, buddy, I’m sorry.”
Jake shrugged and sniffed as if he could dismiss the dreary atmosphere hanging in a cloud over his head, “‘S whatever.”
“Nooooo, no it’s noooottt,” Dan cooed, scooting closer to his friend on the couch, “Come here, Jake, let Dan hug all your sorrow away. Hug Machine Dan is here for you.”
“No, no, no Hug Machine Dan!” Jake backed up, but Dan pinned him against the arm rest and crushed him into a hug, “DAN! DAN LEGGO!”
“Are you done being sad?”
“YES!”
“Lies. I’m gonna keep hugging you!”
“I’m going to tell Milo to eat your cookie stash.”
----
Jake’s funk lasted for weeks.
But, eventually, as summer tumbled awkwardly into autumn, apologized, and politely stepped out of the way, he got over it. Jake tended to hang onto things and hang onto them hard and it took work for him to let them go. But he was trying and Dan could see he was trying and told him he was proud and Jake shoved him and they laughed and tried to pretend they didn’t miss the echo of a third laugh that should have been there but wasn’t.
Things were getting better. Things were looking up.
And then, on a wet, rainy autumn afternoon, Jacob Pierly disappeared.
#should i post this on my gore blog? yes. will i? no.#why? the formatting's all bugged up and i can't fix it and i'm lazy deal with it#micoverse#jake pierly
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King of the Clouds | Part 1
Summary: Being a guardian angel is something new to Bucky and being your guardian angel makes it hard for him not to ‘fall’ for you.
Pairing: guardian angel!bucky x reader
a/n: inspired by mr. patch cipriano from the hush, hush series and king of the clouds by panic! at the disco.
next two parts will be up in a few hours or you know turn on my notifications.
It was Bucky’s first day on the job. He had heard about the luxuries of being someone’s guardian angel but he had also heard about the terrors of having to protect and guide a living being.
Bucky was cast down to Earth after being assigned woman around his age. Raphael had briefly spoken to him about you, but Bucky simply prayed he wasn’t sugar coating your personality and only see the nightmare you really were when it was too late to back out.
Raphael always said there was no guardian job too easy, humans tended to be out of control and naive but that’s what made you all so beautiful and enchanting.
Bucky first arrived in your bedroom, an empty room where he could easily appear out of thin air. Of course, he would be able to hide as he followed you throughout the day, his wings could also disappear entirely to make him seem human if needed.
The tall man looked around your bedroom, Earth had a distinct smell to it but the rose aroma filling your room was pleasant, almost soothing to him.
“Alright, let’s see what we have here.” Bucky looked around, your bed was neatly made which caused Bucky to breathe a sigh of relief, you weren’t one of those clutter bugs he had feared.
Footsteps echoed through the hallway and Bucky quickly turned invisible as your doorknob turned. You walked in, striding across the bedroom towards your desk.
Bucky stood still and held his breath. Carelessly, you picked up your laptop from your desk and walked out of the room. Bucky exhaled.
He followed you out and into the living room where the audio coming television became louder. You were sitting on the living room couch, feet up on the couch, and your computer on lap. Bucky walked to the center of the room, just to your right, put his hands behind his back and cleared his throat.
“Hi, my name is Bucky,” Bucky said out loud.
Of course, you ignored him, you couldn’t see or hear him. Your eyes were fixed on the laptop screen in front of you, occasionally looking up to see the television propped on the wall.
“I am your new guardian angel. Janice, the guardian angel you’ve had since birth, retired.. so.. nice to meet you,” Bucky smiled. He thought of himself as a comedian, loving the fact that he was completely invisible to you.
He walked over to the opposite side of the couch you were on, near your feet and sat down.
“I’m kinda new here, I’m not quite sure what to do. I only ask that you stay out of trouble..” He added. “But you seem like a good girl, I think we’ll be good partners.”
Just then keys fumbled in the door lock of the front door and your roommate nearly fell in the room as she was making out with a guy who, by the way they were touching, clearly had blue balls.
“Hey, I didn’t expect you to be home so early,” She said breathlessly. Bucky looked at the clock, it was only 1 p.m.
“I told you, I got the day off from work today.” You said. The man by your roommate’s side whispered something in her ear. She looked over at you then at him.
“No, we’re not that close.” She laughed, the man next to her eyed you from head to toe which made Bucky stiffen his posture. He knew exactly what that man had whispered in your roommate's ear.
Guess there was going to be trouble after all. Bucky would have easily made himself visible and knocked the teeth out of that bastard but he had to contain himself, he couldn’t blow up his cover.
“Come on, there’s beer in the fridge.” She took his hand and led him to the kitchen before heading to her bedroom.
You groaned once you heard the bed start to squeak and a few curses here and there. You closed your laptop and stood up, reaching for your car keys by the wall. Bucky happily followed your lead outside where you got in your car.
He trespassed the car door and he sat in the passenger’s seat. Bucky couldn’t ask where you were headed so he began to wonder. Would you be going to a friend’s house? A library?
His questions were answered as you pulled up to a coffee shop. Bucky followed you to the cash register as you ordered your preferred beverage.
The angel silently followed you to a table where you sat down and worked on your laptop. He took the seat in front of you for what seemed the longest two hours of his existence.
He managed to pass the time entertaining himself by watching your every facial expression as you worked and playing a guessing game as to what your job was based on the small pep talks you would give yourself.
“Okay, so as the employee, if the item the customer wants..” You shook your head. “No.”
“Training videos, you’re watching training videos and you’re being quizzed on it,” Bucky called out and he was right. He looked around the cafe, trying to find something new to distract himself with, “No wonder Janice retired.”
Weeks passed by and Bucky was positive he wouldn’t have trouble with you for as long as he would be with you. He also felt a little bad that you didn’t have a single text sent to you since he arrived. Clearly, there is no boyfriend in the picture and your only friend was that sloppy roommate of yours whom Bucky had disapproved of since day one.
He began to wonder what had brought you two together to live in the same house. The both of you were polar opposites.
Bucky was caught by surprise when he followed you into your bedroom after work and slipped into a cute dress one evening. Immediately after seeing you in your undergarments, Bucky’s face blushed red as he turned to face the wall.
“Hm, I guess you really are going to the club.” He recalled your roommate inviting you to her birthday bash at her favorite nightclub earlier that day.
He carefully turned around, making sure you were fully dressed and sat down on the edge of your bed. You wore this beautiful red dress he had never seen before. Bucky couldn’t quite figure out why his heartbeat began to race but he knew it had to do something with you in that dress.
Bucky’s eyes followed you to your dresser where you began to apply make-up. He tilted his head to the side slightly as you worked your magic, he was amazed at how humans found beauty through heavily pigmented eyeshadows and lipsticks.
You arrived at the club an hour later, Bucky was excited it was the first time that he was out of the home-job-coffee shop routine. The loud music in the building could have been felt in your throat as you searched for your roommate.
“Hey!” You felt a hand spin you around, your roommate was by the bar you had just passed by.
“Oh, I didn’t see you there,” You spoke as loudly as you could over the music blasting through the speakers.
“My friends are at the back table in the corner, if you want to join them. But order your drink first.” She looked over at the bartender who waited for your order. You told him what you wanted and he started preparing it.
Bucky crossed his arms and leaned against the bar as he watched you and your roommate begin to chat. His attention shifted from the people crowded on the dancefloor to your conversation after he overheard a male name be mentioned.
“He’s really nice, I see you two together. You’d make a good fit.” She said. You shrugged, you never really got along with her friends. Bucky tried to figure out what you were thinking through your body language. He wanted to know if you were interested in that guy.
“Is he here?” You asked. Might as well get a look at the guy, maybe your roommate had one good friend out of the group.
“Yeah, follow me.” She grabbed her drink from the bar as you did the same with yours and walked over to the large, circular booth in the corner. A stranger easily stood out from the familiar faces. He was at least ten years older than you or he looked like he was.
Bucky’s jaw clenched when he saw the man your roommate was introducing you to.
“Guys, you know my roommate. Brock, this is my roommate.” She had failed to mention your name to him, which you told him once he shook your hand.
“Nice to meet you.” He took a sip of his beer before sliding over in the booth. “Come here, take a seat.”
You slid in the booth with him with your drink. Bucky stood in front of the table, practically glaring at the man next to you.
Brock smelled of alcohol. So much alcohol you had to turn your face away from him to inhale fresh air. You hated this night already.
“So what are you into?” Brock leaned in a little too close to you.
“Just work, a lot of work. Busy busy busy.” You chuckled nervously.
“Maybe you can take a break some time and I can take you out to dinner,” He said. You shook your head at him.
“I’ve been very, busy lately.” You shook your head at him. Bucky’s blood was boiling. What the hell was wrong with this guy? “Excuse me while I go to the restroom.”
After you had taken a few steps away from the table you heard a loud noise of a fist slamming down on a table. A man had taken a small bottle from Brock’s hand and threw it on the ground, the small brown colored bottle shattered into pieces.
“You listen to me, you piece of shit! You don’t pressure a woman into dating you and you sure as fuck don’t roofie her drink!”
Bucky’s eyes widened as he realized he made the rear section of the club go silent after his loud booming voice. His gaze met yours as you stood frozen in place and he knew he was no longer invisible.
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Title: You Can’t Magic Baking Knowledge Into Your Head Rating: G Description: What if Ron tried out for the Great British Baking Show? What if he actually made it on? General after-the-war featuring most of the Weasley clan and the golden trio. Lots of sweets and Ron pretending to be a muggle. A/N: Warning, there is almost no structure to this at all. Just the ramblings from an idea that came to me while watching GBBS a while back.
Okay, but what if Ron was on the Great British Baking Show? He sees Hermione watching it and then decides to bake some of the things they’ve made on the show. Molly would teach him all the tricks to get perfect bakes with magic. He tries out for the show on a whim. Just for laughs. When he gets through the audition process there are a million things to consider, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Start at the beginning.
Let’s say that after the Battle of Hogwarts Ron goes to auror training, but then quits. The training was fine, he had Harry and a few members of the DA at his side always, but once he gets out into the field... everything reminds him of the war and he can’t handle any of it. He moves home for a week, but then can’t handle that either.
By this point Hermione has just finished her NEWTs and gets herself an internship at the ministry. She lets a muggle flat and Ron moves in and loafs for a while. Hermione gets them broadband and comes back from work to sink into episode after episode of The Great British Baking Show. He looks at the television and imagines his dad’s wonder at it, then looks at Hermione and sees her eyes glaze over at a shot of a decadent devils food cake. The next day she comes home to a near perfect recreation of it.
Ron spends weeks just baking. Apparating home some mornings to learn cooking magic from his mum, where they would work on scones and layer cakes. Molly taught him how to charm the whisk to get to stiff peaks for a meringue and cast a cooling charm on chocolate once it’s set so it doesn't melt on you again. He brings sandwich cookies and triple layer cakes to everyone he knows, eventually winding up at Weasley’s Wizard Weezes with two dozen jaffa cakes on a very busy day.
George hadn’t wanted to reopen the shop at first, it just wasn’t the same without Fred, you see, but Lee Jordan convinced him that some laughter may be exactly what people need right now. With George and Lee working together the shop had gotten into a good rhythm again, even if Fred’s spark was missing. So Ron comes into the shop planning on unloading these jaffa cakes on George and the rest of the staff and winds up pulling out back stock until they have to close for the night.
The next day he comes back with freshly made pretzels and a proposal. George agrees to take him on as Lee has been itching to move into his next adventure. So Ron is working at the shop and keeps baking and on his day off a few months in sends off an application to be on The Great British Baking Show. Harry helps him with the video that night, pulling out a DSLR camera Ron didn’t know he’d bought. He talks about his mum and growing up with 6 siblings and working in a joke shop and yeah, he has to fudge a few details, but this is just for laughs anyways.
Except he gets an email (more accurately, Hermione gets an email) that they want to schedule a phone interview for him. He panics in the shop when he and Hermione go to set him up on a pay-as-you-go mobile, but the interview goes rather smoothly and it’s on to the next. In person. With treats. He settles on a layer cake with chocolate ganache and Hermione gives him a kiss as he leaves in the morning, apparating to a block away from the interview, almost splintching himself due to nervousness. He’s as surprised as anyone, two months, three interviews, and a technical bake later, when they offer him a spot on the next series.
Before they even get to filming the episodes, a camera crew comes to the Burrow to film Ron in his natural habitat. Muggle-proofing the Burrow is a massive headache, but Harry and Hermione manage. It’s a family dinner and Hermione has had a stern debriefing with everyone at the table. After Ron brings out a tart for dessert, and the camera crew leaves for the night, Arthur nearly bursts with excitement. Ginny deflates with a groan that he will be beside himself for weeks. She mutters about not coming home until the whole thing is blown over, but they all know it’s a lie. She goes home to her tiny flat in Holyhead and Ron sends her a batch of blueberry muffins the next morning.
The first time he has to take the train to Sussex, Harry goes with him. Shows him how to make his phone tell him the directions. Helps him figure out what charms he can use to make sure he doesn't forget anything he needs to keep with him. By the end of filming he’s stopped whining about “How do they manage without magic!?” and has relaxed into the ritual of it. He spends the trip running through the recipes in his head, picturing a perfect execution. He tries not to think about the technical bake. There’s nothing more he can do to prepare for that.
In between week one and week two he lies in bed next to Hermione and asks if she thinks he’s cheating by using magic when the other contestants can’t. She turns on her side and watches his profile for a moment. No. She tells him that he put in the work. You can’t magic knowledge of baking into your head. You can’t magic knowing the exact right time to pull a souffle from the oven. He’s put in the work and it shows. He’s not able to use obvious magic on camera, which limits any advantage the magic might have given him otherwise.
Pretending to be a muggle is the real trick. Hermione, who has watched all the episodes of every series of the show quizzes him while he bakes. “What are you making?” “Where did you get the idea for that flavor combination?” “How are you going to ensure structural integrity of that tower?” She turns it into a game with a buzzer for wrong answers (too magical) and a bell for really good answers (honest, but also upholding the statue of secrecy). Hermione also deals with convincing the ministry to allow for this at all, bless her. She fills out form after form and Ron simply signs on the dotted line.
During the week, between filming, he goes down to part time hours at the shop. He spends sleepless nights practicing for the weekends. He sends new versions to Harry and the aurors to try every day and they send Pigwidgeon back with notes on the bakes. He buys muggle cookbooks and tries his best at the toughest bakes he can find. Tries to find new ways to spell them slightly better. He’s gotten much, MUCH better at wandless magic than he ever thought he would need to be.
Ron does well. He isn’t able to let the cream whip itself on television, but he sneaks in a few warming charms on bread week and comes out with perfect english muffins. He’s the first to get a handshake from Paul Hollywood, who jokes that he must some sort of magic. Ron’s face turns the color of his hair and he bites his tongue, reminding himself that there’s a microphone pinned to his tan apron.
The camera crew comes with him to his flat in London one week later on (much less muggle-proofing, thank goodness). They interview Hermione and Harry and Ginny. They spend a few minutes on camera asking how it is that he lives in London, but is often at his parent’s home in Devon and his sister lives in, Holyhead? Did you say? And you’re all so close? For some reason the audio on that footage is so scratchy they can’t even hope to recover it.
He makes it to the final. He comes out of the tent with a beautiful lemon chiffon cake decorated with flowers and spun sugar. He’s so sure he’s boffed the technical challenge that he’s just happy to go out on a win. He sees his whole family out on the lawn and nearly drops the cake when his eyes flood with tears. They look nearly normal after Harry dressed them all from head to toe, even spelling them to not be able to say anything about magic. He sees others in the crowd, Lee Jordan and a few of his friends from the shop who could be trusted not to raise any suspicions.
Ron doesn’t win it, but he laughs and hugs Chelsea when her name is announced. Paul and Pru congratulate him on his progress. Pru gets pulled into a conversation with Molly about the best methods for creating meringue. Lee and George pull him up onto their shoulders to parade him around. Arthur starts asking Chelsea’s family what living in Broadchurch is like, listening to their answers with rapt attention.
#fandomcampcounselor writes fic#harry potter#ron weasley#the great british baking show#harry potter au
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“It’s quite simple, really...”
So, Wendip fans - I have good news and bad news.
Bad news first - My Wendip surprise has hit a snag. (yes, again this year, too!)
I’ll give you all an update ASAP. In the meanwhile, I whipped up this little yarn to serve as an appetizer until then. Same deal goes as the last fic - if someone cares enough to make a cover art for this, I’ll throw it up on Fanfction.net as well.
Enjoy!
“This isn’t going to hurt, is it?”
Wendy Corduroy squirmed in the rigid seat. The oddly-shaped helmet strapped to her head matted her poofy auburn hair against her brow, leaving it covered with beads of sweat. Her eyes raced around the secret laboratory beneath the Mystery Shack as dials clicked and spun, machinery hummed in different decibels, and vials of unknown liquids slowly boiled and bubbled beneath their heated test tubes.
Huge libraries of hardcover research books decorated the walls next to the exit. A spiraling stairwell led to another floor of boring-looking tomes. A number of end-tables and shelves displayed a lifetime’s worth of knick-knacks and souvenirs from untold adventures. An old, chipped worktable sat at the middle of the room, filled to the brim with clutter and unfiled paperwork.
“Absolutely not!” Stanford Pines double-checked the computer monitor across from her. He tapped away at the keyboard, inputting new commands at lightning speed. “In fact, it might just do the opposite.”
Wendy winced confusingly, “T-Tickle?” Her hands tightly gripped the sides of her chair.
Ford shook his head, “No, not that either.” His harden eyes moved upwards. “But don’t worry – we won’t be going anywhere near your feet, I assure you.”
Wendy’s freckled face turned white. “Huh?! How did you know I was thinking – “
The scientist chuckled. “To be honest, you told me.” He pointed to the giant video screen mounted behind Wendy. “Part of the procedure is that your thoughts will be shown on this display. The smaller televisions above it can provide collaborating videos and audio as well.”
Wendy turned around to see a series of green, flowing texts flying across the largest screen:
“HOW DID HE KNOW THAT? ISN’T THIS LIKE AN INVASION OF PRIVACY? HEY, AT LEAST I DON’T HAVE TO WORK NOW!”
The sound of laughter made Wendy switch screens. One of the smaller ones played a somewhat faint image of Dipper and her wrestling around on her bed. Wendy had her arm wrapped around his head as she gave him the ultimate noogie. On the other end, Dipper had an orange-and-yellow socked foot in a death grip as he mercilessly tortured its sensitive underside.
“Say it! Say that you give up!”
“NEHEHEHEH! Never! You – You first!”
Wendy smiled briefly at the memory before turning back around towards Ford. He silently watched the scene, itching his beard stubble with curiosity. “Hmm…”
She forced an uneasy laugh out of embarrassment. Ford’s silence only added to Wendy’s nervousness. Her fingertips tapped the armrests of the chair as the helmet seemed tightened around her head.
“This is so freaky! Why I’d even agree to this in the first place?”
It had only been less than a half-hour ago that the teen had been sitting at her post at the Mystery Shack’s Gift Shop. Wendy sat back on her stool, her shoulder-blades resting against the cracked wall as her mud-covered boots rested on the countertop. Her nose buried in the latest gossip magazine. The world was peaceful and quiet until…
“A-hem!”
“Whoa!” Wendy was jolted out of her zen. Her balance lost, her arms flailed in mid-air until she slipped from her seat and landed hard to the floor.
“OW!” She rubbed her sore backside as a hand reached out to help.
“Thanks, Dip.” Wendy accepted the help back to her feet. “You really scared the living – “
Her words faded as she was pulled upwards to meet Ford’s stern, broaden face. He adjusted his cracked glasses with his six-fingered hand as he cleared his throat once more.
“Sorry about that.” Ford apologized. “I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind assisting me with an experiment.”
“Oh, okay…” Wendy placed her fallen trapped cap back on her head. This had been the first time the long-lost Great-Uncle of the Pines twins had addressed her. “What’s up?”
“Not here…” To Wendy’s surprise, Ford walked towards the vending machine across from her desk and dialed a combination of random numbers. A second later, the ground shook beneath her feet. The machine itself slid away from the wall, revealing a hidden staircase leading deep into the earth.
“WHOA!” Wendy’s green eyes grew wide. She had heard Dipper mention something about secrets literally built into the Mystery Shack itself, but she never expected anything like this.
Ford walked down the steps as a series of lights hanging overhead instantly sprang to life. “Now, if you’ll follow me, we’ll be at my lab – “ He paused, noticing there wasn’t a second set of footsteps behind him. The elder spun around to see Wendy standing at the entryway with an unnerved expression.
“On second thought,” Wendy pointed towards the family entrance to the parlor. “Stan – I mean, the other Stan, will probably need me to stay here at the counter…”
“Oh, please!” Ford waved away in disgust. “Stanley’s been asleep in his recliner for hours! He didn’t care enough to put on pants today, yet alone properly manage a business!”
Wendy giggled and covered her mouth.
“I know things look odd and even scary. “ Ford held a hand against his heart. “But it is dire that you come with me. Your life, as well as that of your family and friends, may depend on it.”
Wendy’s guard dropped as the old man’s façade fell. His frown twisted into an all-too-familiar tiny beam. “Please…?”
“So, that’s where Dipper gets his smile from…”
Before she knew it, Wendy followed along the coat tails of the sage explorer down the staircase and onto an old-fashioned service elevator. Ford threw a nearby switch, closing a gate shut behind Wendy, making her flinch slightly. There was no going back now.
The elevator slowly descended down the shaft, its wheels noisily squeaking the entire way. The landing violently shook beneath their boots. An awkward silence filled the narrow passage.
“So…” Wendy broke the silence as Ford stared into the distance, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. “I never would have guessed that something like this was hidden beneath the Shack.”
Ford nodded, “It’s actually ironic – your father was the one who designed and built this very cottage.”
“Get out!”
“I will – “ He paused and let out a nervous laugh, “I see. You were using an euphemism. My mistake. But it’s true. Dan Corduroy helped create what you now know as the Mystery Shack over 30 years ago.”
“Wow…” Wendy absorbed her surroundings outside of the caged elevator. She looked on with a sense of pride, knowing that her family had lent a hand in creating such an extraordinary marvel. The redhead turned towards Ford. “Dad doesn’t about any of this junk, does he?”
He broke eye-contact. “Not...exactly. Let me put it like this: your old man thought I was putting in one hell of a den.”
“HA! Sounds about right!”
The elevator eased to a gentle stop. They were now in front of a sturdy redwood door. Golden marking wrapped around at the top and the bottom in half-circles as a jewel-encrusted keyhole lied in the center.
Ford reached into his coat pocket and retrieved a long, aged key. He inserted it into the opening and rotated it tightly. The door sprang open with a slow creak. He opened an arm towards the new room shrouded in complete darkness.
“After you…”
Wendy’s body grew sore in thanks to the awkward chair given to her. Proper posture wasn’t exactly her thing. She couldn’t decide if it was the seat or the uncomfortable atmosphere that added to her anxiety.
“I know this guy is Dip’s uncle and all, but why do I feel like it’s one of my old B-movies, where he’s going to hit a button, and shackles are going to pop outta this thing and grab my wrists and ankles?”
“I wouldn’t be too worried.” Ford reassured the worried girl with a sly grin. “I’m more of an “angry scientist” than I am a “mad” one, so I’m not exactly one to have deathtraps lying about the lab.”
“Huh?” Once more, Wendy glanced over her shoulder, finding her fears displayed for the world to see. She groaned aloud and pinched her nose in embarrassment. “Oh, man…”
“Secondly,” Ford walked to his desk and took hold of the roller chair placed there. “Unlike my brother, I do recognize the fact that child endangerment and imprisonment is a serious crime in the state of Oregon.”
Wendy bit her lip to stop chortling. Seeing her growing calm, Ford rolled the chair in front of her and took a seat. “And lastly, if anything, I asked you here for your own protection, Gwendolyn.”
“It’s “Wendy…” if you don’t mind, Mr. Pines.”
Ford glanced up at the large television for a split second.
“I HATE THAT NAME SO MUCH! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS, MY MOTHER? I WISH I HAD A COOL NICKNAME LIKE DIPPER DOES.”
“My mistake, “Wendy.” Ford rubbed his chin with curiosity. “And I’d prefer “Ford” as well.”
“It’s a deal, Ford.” Her smile faded as she rubbed her hands together. “Um, going back to what you said earlier. This machine is supposed to “protect me?” She gently tugged on the black cord stemming from the helmet that led back to the series of screens. “And from what exactly?”
“Let me explain.” The man sat back on his padded chair, much to Wendy’s chagrin. “The machine that you are attached to is my own creation: Project Mentem mk-2.”
“That’s a mouthful!”
“You’re telling me. As that machine scans your mind, it will also shield it from being controlled by outside forces.”
“Outside forces?”
Ford leaned forward, “Have you ever heard the name “Bill Cipher?””
Wendy hesitated. “Uh, I…think so…”
Once more, Wendy’s thoughts betrayed her as they ran across the computer screen for all to see.
“THAT’S THAT TRIANGLE GUY, RIGHT? I THINK IT’S THAT TRIANGLE GUY. HE’S THE ONE THAT MADE DIPPER ACT ALL FREAKY A FEW WEEKS AGO. I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WHEN HE THREW HIS ARM AROUND ME AND CALLED ME “TOOTS.” AND HE WOULDN’T STOP STARING AT MY CHEST. EW!”
Ford placed his hands on the armrests of Wendy’s chair, missing her fingertips by inches. His tone grew utterly grim. “Bill Cipher is an interdimensional being, made of pure negative energy. He lives for complete and utter chaos! And he will not stop until he unleashes such horrors onto this very world!”
Wendy gulped, as another thought was splashed across the screen:
“I SAW THAT DRAWING IN DIPPER’S BOOK. THAT CREEP DIDN’T LOOK SO TOUGH TO ME. HE LOOKS LIKE SOME DEMENTED FLYING CORN CHIP. I BET I COULD TAKE HIM ANYTIME!”
Enraged, Ford rose to his feet, forcing his chair back. “THIS ISN’T SOME KINDA JOKE, KID!” He marched back and forth across his lab as Wendy was helpless to do anything but watch. “Do you even know what you’re dealing with?” He continued on lecturing. “This thing destroyed his own universe without an ounce of regret! He hunted me endlessly across countless dimensions and realities for the last 30 years! He’s responsible for the demise of several civilizations, and you think you stand a chance against him?! He’d destroy you in a blink of his eye!”
“I’m – I’m sorry, okay?” Wendy shut her eyes and turned her head. “I-I didn’t mean – “
Ford lowered his guard as his sights came across the master computer. His heart sunk into his knees as he quietly read the thoughts displayed:
“I HATE IT WHEN BOYS FIGHT. I HATE IT WHEN BOYS YELL AT ME. IT’S LIKE HOW STAN AND MY DAD ALWAYS YELL AT ME. I REALLY WISH HE’D STOP YELLING AT ME…”
He looked ahead to the teenaged girl shivering in her seat. Ford opened his six-fingered hands, wondering if he was any better than the monster he was trying to defeat.
“Wendy…” The scientist reclaimed his seat, but made sure to keep his distance. “I…I apologize for my outburst. But you have to understand, please; any matter that involves Bill in even the slightest capacity has to be taken seriously.” He ran a hand through his salt-and-pepper colored hair. “In the last few decades, I have born witness to the outrageous atrocities that he has committed across time and space. It is something that no one deserves to see. It is something no one deserves to fall victim to. For that, I implore you again: will you continue to help me keep not just this world safe from Bill’s influence, but my family as well?”
“It’s – It’s okay, man.” Wendy agreed with a shake of her head. “I’m still game if you are. So, what’s the plan? How can I help?”
As both persons calmed, Ford sunk back into his seat comfortably. “You already have.” He highlighted another computer monitor. “As the Mentem mk-2 scans your thoughts, it has been applying a shield to your brainwaves. See for yourself.”
Wendy spun to her right, finding a black screen with bright, dark-green text displaying a progress bar:
SCANNING THOUGHTS – 35%
“Within a few minutes,” Ford clarified. “The process will have scanned the entirety of your mind, protecting it from any possible threat from Bill.”
“Oh…okay, then…”
The two sat and peeked around the room without saying another word. The only sound to be heard was the occasional blip coming from the progress bar.
“Hey, Ford? Can I ask you a stupid question?”
“There are no stupid questions, but yes, proceed anyways.”
“Alright.” Wendy itched the back of her slender neck. “Why me? Why do you think this Bill guy would try to possess my mind like he did to Dipper?”
Strangely enough, Ford’s face lit up with interest. “It’s quite simple, really. I believe you would be the perfect selection for Bill simply because of who you are.”
“Who I am?” A dozen new thoughts raced through Wendy’s mind.
“WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY THAT? IS IT BECAUSE I GREW UP HERE IN GRAVITY FALLS? OR BECAUSE I WORK AT THE MYSTERY SHACK?”
“My mistake. I shouldn’t have been so coy.” Ford stood back up and began to pace with his arms tucked behind his back. Another “Pines family” trait that easily reminded Wendy of “her boy.” The adventurer paused for a moment, “It…wouldn’t be too forward to say that you and my great-nephew have grown close this summer, would it?”
Wendy found herself stunned for a split second.
“CLOSE? OF COURSE WE ARE. HE’S MY BOY. THIS SUMMER WOULD HAVE TOTALLY BITE WITHOUT THAT LITTLE GUY. AFTER EVERYTHING THAT WE’VE BEEN THROUGH, HOW COULD WE NOT?”
“Eh. You could say that…”
“I see…” Ford nodded along with both forms of testimony. “But the question is how close are you two?”
The lower-right screen displaying Wendy’s heart-rate instantly spiked.
“Only a fool wouldn’t be able to see that you share a sort of…” Ford waved his hand around in a circle as he attempted to find the correct term. “…a special bond. In fact, when Dipper sat in that very spot, you were a constant topic in his thoughts.
“Time out!” Wendy tried to switch the conversation around. “Dipper had this mind-mumbo-jumbo done to him, too?”
“Not exactly.” Ford confessed. “There was an…incident when we attempted to use the machine on him. It was only recently during some spare time that I was able to repair Project Mentem. Hence, the mk-2 at the end.
“SO I’M THE GUINEA PIG TO SEE IF THIS HUNK OF JUNK WORKS? GREAT, JUST GREAT. MAYBE IF MY BROTHERS DIDN’T MESS AROUND WITH THAT UNICORN HAIR DIPPER GAVE ME, I WOULDN’T HAVE TO SIT THROUGH THIS. I REALLY HOPE THIS DOESN’T BACKFIRE AND LEAVE ME WITH MY MIND WIPED LIKE WHAT THOSE BLIND-EYE JERKS TRIED TO DO TO US.”
Wendy gasped. She forced a cheesy grin and pointed at the big screen behind her. “Say, do we really need to have that thing on the entire time?” The lumberjane gently tugged at the wiring binding her to the circuity. “There isn’t a sleep mode or something we can switch on?”
Ford waved away her concerns. “It is more than all right, Wendy. I already know about the adventures you and Dipper have gone on these last few months.”
“You…do?” A sense of unease formed in the pit of Wendy’s stomach as her fears turned to anger.
“THAT LITTLE DORK! HE RATTED US OUT! ZIPPED LIPS, MY BUTT! JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON HIM! WHAT ELSE DID HE SAY? WAIT. THE MACHINE. WHAT IF THIS THING MADE HIM SQUEAL?”
Ford could see a new memory forming on the secondary monitor. Wendy and Dipper were standing with Mabel on the top of the Mystery Shack’s roof as the sun shined high in the clear blue sky. Meeting eye-to-eye, they each made a zipping motion over their lips simultaneously.
“Zipped lips, eh?” Ford noted. “But nevertheless, I can assure you, Dipper didn’t betray your trust in any fashion.”
“He didn’t?”
“Of course not.” The researcher went back to his desk and took an item with him before sitting down before Wendy. “In fact, I learned about your journeys the same way he did about mine here in Gravity Falls: though documentation.
Wendy looked to see the all-too-familiar hardcover book marked with a golden six-fingered insignia lying in Ford’s lap.
“Hey! That’s Dipper’s journal!”
“You mean my journal.” Ford proudly patted the front cover. “It makes this old man proud to see Dipper continuing in my researching the wonderful oddities inhabiting this town.” He opened the Journal 3 and scanned somewhere towards the middle portion. “You certainly had your hands full in the last few weeks, if I can say so. It’s all right here: ghosts in the convenience store, clones amongst party-goers here at the Shack, time-traveling shenanigans …”
“Uh…” Wendy held up a finger to object. “Kinda lost on those last two, Ford.”
“In that case,” Ford closed the journal. “What about the fact that when I went to check on my abandoned bunker in the woods, every trap I had set had been disabled and I found the captive alien shapeshifter frozen in an effigy that looked exactly like Dipper?”
“Uh…”
“Plus,” he reached into his oversized slicker and pulled out a dainty-sized lumberjack’s belt and a sheath for a hatchet. “I found these inside the bunker. I believe they’re yours?”
An uncomfortable laugh sailed pass Wendy’s throat. “You’re pretty mad about that, aren’t you?”
“Maybe at first, but after things came together, I was more amazed. Especially by what was captured on film.”
“We were taped?!”
“Wendy,” Ford said. “One does not hide thousands of dollars of equipment as well as one-of-a-kind alien technologies deep in the Oregonian woods without having some type of surveillance equipment at the ready.”
She shrugged. “True that.”
“And don’t get me wrong; all of you kids worked wonderfully as a group to recapture the shapeshifter, but it was the brief period in which you two were separated from Mabel and Soos that stood out. I could easily see marvelous examples of teamwork being displayed. I think it can go without saying how well you complement each other.”
“Thanks, I guess…” Wendy went to scratch her head, finding it blocked by the massive helmet. “Sorry if I seem rude, but what’s with all these questions about Dipper and me?”
“To be frank,” he explained. “I’m simply trying to fill in the blanks to a lot of uncertainties that I have.”
“Such as?”
“Perhaps, it would be best if I were more forward.” Ford lowered his crossed leg and hunched forward. “So, I’ll come out and ask: what are your intentions towards my great-nephew?
Wendy’s brow rose, pinching the tip of her head enclosed by the helmet. Her heart-rate monitor went into full-blown overtime.
“OH MAN! OH MAN! OH MAN! THIS IS LIKE HOW MY DAD GRILLS ANY BOY I BRING TO THE HOUSE. THIS IS KARMA PAYING ME BACK, RIGHT?! WHAT SHOULD I SAY? HOW – “
Unfortunately, the middle monitor provided the answer for her, as Wendy could hear her own voice playing through the speakers:
“But, I'm too old for you. I mean, you know that, right?”
Both watched the scene played out, as Wendy and Dipper sat on a log deep into the Gravity Falls Woods just outside of Ford’s hidden bunker, as she tried her best to calm his anxiety and over wrecked nerves.
Wendy lowered her head to see Ford still studying the screen with great interest. His face reminded her of Dipper’s as she had left him wondering on that log as she rode away on her bike. Wendy would give anything to be free of the embarrassing and awkward situation.
“Ford…” The teenager struggled with her words. “It’s not – I can explain…”
Her random thoughts spread across the main television at neck-break speeds.
“I WISH THINGS WEREN’T COMPLICATED. IT’S NOT LIKE DIP’S A BAD GUY. I HOPE HE UNDERSTANDS. I HOPE I DIDN’T HURT HIM. HE SEEMED FINE AT MOVIE NIGHT. WHAT ELSE COULD I DO? THERE’S NO WAY IT WOULD HAVE WORKED. MAYBE WHEN HE GETS OLDER…”
At long last, Ford finally spoke, “Well, that explains a lot. It’s not as serious as I thought.”
“Ford, you don’t understand – “
He looked straight at her and removed his glasses, wiping them off with his sleeve. “Let me tell you something,” Ford said without an ounce of emotion in his voice. “The more the things change – the more they stay the same. In Dipper’s case, it’s “you’re too young.” For me, an entire lifetime ago, it was “Sorry, Ford. But you have six fingers on each hand. What would people think?” He held up one of his unique hands for Wendy to see. “So, believe me, Wendy, when I say I understand perfectly.”
Wendy remained completely silent as a single thought forced on the screen behind her:
“DOES DIPPER THINK THE SAME WAY, TOO?”
The strict professor put his damaged spectacles back on. “But in all honesty, I am actually relieved by this revelation.”
Wendy shook her head in astonishment, “Wait?! You are?!”
“Of course.” Ford stood up, holding the Journal 3 in his right hand, and placed it back into a slot in his work desk. “After all, you are only a child yourself. I’d be shocked if things had played out any differently.”
The demeaning comment struck Wendy unexpectedly. It had been a long time since anyone had referred to her in such a way.
“Oh…kay, then. But I still don’t understand. What does all this Dipper-talk have to do with me and that triangle guy?”
“That’s precisely the point.” Ford walked back. “It’s all related. Other than myself, there isn't anyone else that Bill Cipher had more interactions than with Dipper. Like me, Bill has invaded Dipper’s dreams on occasion, and went as far as to trick him into giving him control of his body.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning that maybe with the exception of Mabel, there is no one closer to that boy than you, Wendy. Over the last few weeks, Dipper has become more involved in my experiments and my research. It’s to the point he’s serving as a pseudo-apprentice of sorts. He now has knowledge that would allow Bill to conquer this world with ease.”
“Jeez…”
“…is quite the understatement. For this, I believe that if Bill couldn’t possess Dipper, he wouldn’t hesitate to use those closest to him as a bargaining chip. For some reason, he doesn’t bother Mabel. Maybe her dreams are so chaotic, they frightened even him. That leads me to believe that…”
“…he’d come for me instead.” Wendy finished. “So, when you said earlier that this mind-thingie is for my protection, it’s really more for Dipper’s. You think I’m some kind of…”
“…liability. It might seem harsh, but after everything I’ve seen in the footage from the bunker, I couldn’t be more certain. You both would stand in the face of danger for the other’s welfare. I truly think that if your life was in jeopardy, Dipper would be willing to sacrifice the entire universe to save you. And with all due respect, that scenario cannot be allowed to happen.”
Wendy didn’t know what to say. How could she feel so important and yet, so very small at the same time? As she thought about it a bit more, the redhead came to a new realization.
“Dipper – he doesn’t know I’m here, does he?”
Ford didn’t answer her question. His eyes rose over her head. “And we’re…just about…”
*DING!*
A bell sounded through the laboratory. The helmet finally released its death grip on her temples, as a drained Wendy nearly slid off her seat.
“Finished!” Ford rose to his feet and went to help Wendy up onto hers. He proudly patted her back, nearly knocking her off-balance. “How are you feeling?”
Wendy tried to find her center as she replaced her trapper hat on top her crown of copper hair. She grabbed her forehead. “My brain is throbbing.”
“All perfectly normal,” he declared. “Now, you want to be wary of any other side effects.”
“Other side effects?”
“Yes. This is my new prototype, after all. There wasn’t time to work out all of the kinks.” Ford began to count off on his fingers. “So, if you experience leaky eyes, bloody nose, oozing out of certain orifices, and/or itchy palms or soles, don’t hesitate to let me know immediately.”
“T-Thanks. Appreciate it…” Wendy was thankful her mind wasn’t being monitored any longer.
“Only the best for the liability. Isn’t that right, old man?”
As Wendy staggered towards the exit, Ford returned his chair to his desk and took a seat. He started to scribble all sorts of follow-ups into his notebooks. “I’m going to record my latest findings, so I’m afraid I’ll be a while.” He pointed towards the door, “If you want to go on ahead, simply throw the switch to bring the elevator back to the surface. You’ll find a button at the end of the path that’ll re-open the vending machine leading back to your work station.”
“You got it, Ford. I guess…I’ll see you around.”
Just as Wendy started to turn the door knob, she heard Ford call out, “Wendy, wait?”
She paused and looked back to see Ford with his chair spun towards her.
“For what it’s worth,” he anxiously adjusted his collar. “I wanted to thank you for everything that you do for Dipper. I, above all people, can understand how lonely and awkward things can be at his age. I’m glad that he has someone like you to help him along.”
Wendy let out a sigh of relief. “It’s no biggie, really. Like I said before, he’s fun to hang with, and – “
Ford continued on, as if he didn’t hear Wendy at all, “With that said, I figure that it’s only a matter of time before things return to normal, and your life will go back to how it used to be.”
She raised an eyebrow, “I’m not following you here…”
The senior went back to writing in his research, “It’s more than obvious that Dipper is extremely interested in following in my footsteps, and to be honest, I’d be more than honored to train him to do as such. However, if there’s one thing I’ve learned through the years, is that in this line of work, relationships, rather they be emotional or physical, romantic or platonic, are fleeting. In the end, they serve to be nothing more than a distraction from what’s really important in life.”
“What – What are you saying?”
“That in time, I’m more than positive that Dipper will grow out of this little fascination he has with you and focus on something that actually has substance in reality.”
“You think Dipper will just forget about me?”
“Or you about him. Whichever comes first.”
Wendy was left dumbstruck. Her stomach felt twisted by the man’s lack of empathy on all fronts. However, she couldn’t leave on this note. There was still one worry weighing down on her mind.
“Listen, Ford.” The ginger rubbed her elbow fretfully. “Before I go, I wanted to ask you one last thing. Let’s say that this little experiment didn’t work, and this Bill guy does find a way to take control over me. What would you do then?”
Ford stopped writing in his notepad, but didn’t show Wendy a speck of his attention. Another eerie silence filled the lab. Mere seconds passed like hours before he finally gave an answer:
“We’ll…worry about that if and then the time comes.” He returned to his studies as if nothing had transpired. “Please make sure to close the door behind you.”
It took nearly all of Wendy’s remaining strength to respond. “Yeah, I’ll do that…”
As Wendy slowly shut the door, she took one last look at the seemingly-disconnected old man focusing solely on the isolated world that he created for himself. As much as she hated to admit it, this also reminded her of “her boy” as well.
The exhausted clerk pulled the switch back, making the elevator creep back up the way it had come. She leaned against the gated wall with folded arms as her mind raced over the recent experience, and all that came from it. A glimpse of natural light offered little comfort from the gloominess of her current surroundings.
One thing was for certain: When Wendy reached the surface, she was definitely going to have to stare at a wall for a while, and rethink everything…
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Drive Thru The Border
As painful and disruptive as COVID was for everyone, there have been some very positive takeaways. For one, I doubled down on cooking and can hold my own quite handily in the kitchen. It may not be good enough to warrant a television series, but I haven’t starved yet. And then there’s our ability to work and study remotely. It’s amazing how fast the entire nation got up to speed in no time, and along the way, we also became Zoom pros.
But now the longer term effects are coming online, like the new Taco Bell Defy in a Minneapolis suburb. The restaurant “floats” over motorists. Indoor dining is now a thing of the past, and specific drive-thru lanes are designated for app orders, delivery drivers, and those doing it the old-school way of ordering like at any drive-thru. In all options, food is delivered via a vertical lift. If it reminds you of your bank’s drive-thru, you might just be right.
And this is just one of many either planned or coming online elsewhere. If you haven’t noticed the rapid growth of Dutch Bros Coffee or Scooter’s Coffee, you might just be spending too much time at Starbucks. Both of these chains are drive-thru only, and to be fair, SBUX has started doing some of their own. Burger King has similar plans.
We all learned during COVID how to dine away, since most indoor dining spaces were off limits during the pandemic. It’s a lot cheaper for food service outlets to build tiny shops that provide the same goods, but without the expense and ongoing overhead of a dining room.
Adding to this Taco Bell experience, though, is the aim to cut waiting time down to about two minutes. Data showed that the average wait time has been 268 seconds, which is a long time to wait with your motor running given the high price of gasoline. Furthermore, since Chick-fil-A has been killing it in their drive-thrus, the gauntlet had been thrown down. Taco Bell has replied.
I sense that a revolution is now taking place. New builds will be increasingly more likely to be drive-thru only. And while it would take a long time for all of the current indoor dining spaces to vanish, I can see them either being converted or demolished, making way for their new-era replacements.
A broader concern to me, though, is that it promotes eating in one’s car. We already do many tasks from our cars, including eating. I take student calls and texts from the road. I have even stopped to do a Zoom call interview for a local TV station, somewhere down near Abilene. I sincerely doubt everyone will simply take their food home to eat, because fast food is packaged and intended to be eaten immediately. Well, unless you’ve hired DoorDash to bring it to you.
As much as I like making the best use of very finite time, there is much to be said for sitting down somewhere to eat, and actually disengaging for a bit. Doing it in my car does not fit that description. Eating, to me, is to be savored, whether I am doing the cooking or not.
All of which helps explain why I tend to avoid fast food anyway, health considerations notwithstanding. But you know what I would be doing if I were in Minnesota right now? I’d be driving to the Twin Cities to give this a try anyway. That’s the Marketing prof in me talking there, because I kinda live for these things, even if only to see it to believe it.
As for Taco Bell and all the others trying to adapt to a new world, I must still raise my glass. You have read the writing on the wall, and as it turns out at this new restaurant, there aren’t any walls for your customers to see, much less scribble on. Make mine soft shell with lots of veggies.
Dr “Yo Quiero” Gerlich
Audio Blog
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Renowned Audio Stores in Vancouver
So you want to start an audio stores in Vancouver business? Maybe retail, maybe installation.
The first advice I would give you is that if you are starting any type of service oriented business, sales through services will always trump sales through products. I'll explain why in a minute but let me tell you my experience in the beginning when all I knew was car audio and video equipment.
Believe me, there were so many times where I wanted to quit because nothing seemed to be working right or fast enough for what I put into it... But finally, when I started trying to teach people things and offer them service, that is when the business really took off for me.
I used to be responsible for a large part of our local competition's success because in order for them to get a head start on me, they would have to buy big in order to get in front of what I was doing... But if they bought big, then it took them weeks or even months before they could open up any retail at all so I would have already been there and done that. In effect, I made their investment worthless while also making my investment worthless since there was nothing left.
But wait! There's more!
In addition, you can't restock your service department with low end or moderate items because the markup is too low compared to their service business. They really need high ticket items that can even push into the $1000 price range just so there's some hope of making the same kind of money on them as they do on other products.
Believe me, I know... Because I also carry high end home theater equipment in my shop but it takes about 5-6 years for us to make up our investment in a projector or display once you factor in overhead and salary. I'll tell you right now though... If we sold less than 5 units every year, we would actually lose money on it because of how much goes into servicing those customers who are already aware of what they are buying before they ever walk through the door.
So how do you make money on something like that? How about they need an amplifier for their television, they buy it from us at full retail, we install it and then service it when it needs to be repaired or replaced. So now my customer is happy, they got what they wanted and I am the hero who saved them hundreds of dollars by not sending them back to the place they bought their TV. It's a total win-win situation for everyone involved.
Doing the same line of thinking with car audio stores Vancouver equipment is just as easy actually because there are so many products that can easily be used in both applications... Speakers, amplifiers, processors/receivers, subwoofers etc... You name it!
So if you jump into an audio stores Vancouver , then my best advice to you is that you must seriously think about becoming a master in high end home theater installation and service. That way when people come in asking for equipment, you can sell them everything they need to surround themselves with state of the art sound and video instead of up-selling them which will make them hate your guts because most salespeople like to do that at every opportunity they get... Ask me how I know?
But what about retail?
I've said it once and I'll say it again; Selling end-user products without services attached is very hard if not near impossible to do successfully unless your customers consist of children or idiots (or both). Normal people don't like to be sold and especially don't like to buy at retail either.
But if you want to open an audio store, then I strongly urge you not to do it without a service side built into your business plan right from the start because that's where about 90% of the profit stems from in this industry HME drive thru headset repair .
However, if you insist on doing something stupid like that then at least give me first dibs on all the high end home theater equipment that doesn't sell so I can stock my showroom instead of leaving it on some cargo container for 3 months waiting for new homes.
Believe me, if you try selling speakers or amplifiers to people who are looking for car stereos, you're gonna have one helluva time trying to convince them to buy from you without any installation or service offered on those products.
I'm a car audio guy first and foremost so the only reason I carry high end home theater equipment is because of friends who sell it and why they carry car audio gear... Same goes for some of my competitors as well since we all help each other out in our shops when certain items don't sell for months at a time HME drive thru headset repair.
In fact, some people go as far as buying things like tweeters that cost around thirty dollars apiece just to use them as samples in their showroom.
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