#atvs oneshot

[imlovewithpixels]

"Childhood Sweethearts"

-Miles Morales/ 42!Miles x Fem!Reader

Y/N had a crush on Miles since always, and something inside her tell her that they were meant to be together. She just knew

(( Remember that my request are OPEN - Spanish or English, please ASK ME ANYTHING, tALK TO ME AND LEAVE A COMENT IF YOU LIKE UU))

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 My first language is not English, so I apologize for any grammatical error.

...

— Nana, quiero volver a casa.— The little girl grips her grandma, her eyes tearing as she walks next to her with her big pink backpack. 

— Mi niña , esta es tu casa ahora, ¿si? Tus papis hicieron un gran esfuerzo en traerte aca.— The old woman whispers, carefully picking her word as she looks at the little girl. She guided Y/n through the stair until the third food when her house was as she made way for her to enter. 

— No me gusta aca, todos hablan raro…— Y/n said pouting, her little hand gripping her shirt. 

— Te acostumbraras , nena. — Those words stuck in her mind as the girl tried to adjust to her first week in New York, which was horrible. Most of the kids laugh at her for her accent or ignorance of English, she only could be comfortable next to her grandma and misses the rest of her family every day, almost crying to sleep. — Doña Carmen, here I have some of your pills.— A pretty woman enters the house as Y/n hides, listening to the weird words that came from her mouth. Rio noticed her as she smiled. 

— Hi, baby. Is she your grandchild? What's your name, bonita?— The woman talk to her, Y/n catch the little accent, but she was unsure. 

— Tu nombre mija. — Her grandma explained to her. — Sorry, she does not catch el English yet, se acostumbrara…espero. — 

— Ay, mi vida, perdon ¿ Asi que hablas español? —

— Si señora…— Y/n was happier to speak spanish. 

— Tonces traere a mi hijo pa’ que juegue contigo, se llevaran bien. — At that moment, Y/n eventually became friends with Miles, almost clingy with the sweet little boy that he was. They draw together, she helps him in his first stages with graffiti, and she also gets used to living around New York and speaking English. But of course, everything is not always fine. Y/n has this gigantic crush on Miles, she was the only girl around him and was kind and flirty with him while they grow up, it was almost obvious to everyone that they would end up together. 

Even his uncle Aaron approved of their future relationship. And then, Miles enters his stupid private school and leaves her behind

...

…

— I can’t believe this shit, esta hablando con esa gringa.— Y/n complains to her friend. She had been expecting this party for a long time, she hadn't seen Miles in a while, and she wanted to spend some time with him again. 

Was she clingy? Maybe, but she was always there for him. When his uncle dies, on his birthday when she bought him an exclusive collection figure and always tries to make sure that he was ok. But, that stupid boy lied to her face, he was hiding something, of her, of her mom and dad. 

He always disappeared out of nowhere. 

La señora Rio even thought for a moment that he was on drugs, but Miles was not that type of guy. She knew that he would be late with the cake, so she bring one of her own, just in case. 

She tried to be at his side, not only because of her crush on the boy but because they were friends. Or at least, that is what she thought. 

— Y/n, relax girl. That blondie has nothing compared to you. — Her friend said, smiling comforting. Oh yeah, and now, that Gwanda came out of nothing, from who knows what part of Africa to be with him. 

Both girls saw how Ms. Morales and his husband started talking to Gwanda. Y/n keep giving her a sour look until Rio looks at her and calls her. 

— Show her who would be a Morales! — Her friend pushes him to the little balcony. Y/n put on her best smile, even if she already say hi to the couple, and then she turned with her most cute face to Miles. — Miles, no te he visto en varias semanas, how are you doing? — She throw herself to hug the boy, god l, he was so tall now. Her cheeks were a little red as she kiss Miles’s cheeks. She could feel the blond’s eyes on her, but she didn’t mind. 

— Yea, Ms. Morales, ¿que pasa? — She said, ignoring Gwanda.

— Nothing, mija, Y/n dear, I just wonder that you didn’t greet my Miles.— She said winking to Y/N. — And his amiguita. — Her tone became a little challenging. — Mama! — Miles groans embarrassed. 

— Oh yeah, Gwinda, right?  — Y/n put a superior smile as she also walks to kiss Gwanda’s cheek, her tone a little sarcastic. — A pleasure to meet you. —

The blonde stood there, she was taken aback. 

— G-Gwen… I mean, Gwanda. It’s a pleasure too…— 

— Y/n. — 

— Y/n , yeah! Is good to see another friend of Miles. — Her tone was genuine, Y/N knew it, but it still hurt. 

— Yeah, I know him since we were chamacos. Right, Miles? — She turned immediately back to the boy. He was embarrassed, but Y/N couldn't say if it was because of the situation or because he felt ashamed to be around that gringa.  — Y-Yeah, Y/n is a good friend of mine. — He said, smiling at her sweet as honey.

It was not until Gwen left nervous that Y/N notice how Miles’ smile faded slowly, looking at the way the blonde went. 

God, how it hurt. 

…

Miles didn’t know what to do, he was seeing another version of himself in front of him. He didn’t have time for this! He needed to go to his universe and save his dad. 

He needed to escape and he was about to do it, the electricity running through his fingers, he just need it to touch the chain and…

— Miles Gonzalo Morales, I’ve been waiting for you too since a half hour ago! — a female voice interrupts the scene. Miles could hear it from behind “Shit.” His uncle Aaron said nervously. 

Something in the confident facade of the other Miles broke, and he looked concerned. — In what mess did you end now? Dios mio, no se que espero de ti, en serio. Who did you chain this time? — The steps were decisive, a familiar fragrance reach Miles, and before he could say something, she look at your eyes. — Y/n? — Miles mumbled confused, as the girl kept freezing, looking at him and then at the other Miles. — The fuck? Babe, is this…you? —

— Ma, not now. — Miles grew, trying to push her away. 

— No no, nothing like that! Que mierda es eso? — Y/n look….almost the same, she was wearing a big jacket and Miles could see a gun underneath it. — Also, we had a mission today and you left me alone in the middle of nowhere waiting like a dumb. — She said hardly, pointing at Miles’ chest. 

— The kid was supposed to tell you. — Aaron said, looking away. 

— You! No, babe, he’s lying, he was supposed to text you. — Miles defends himself. 

Y/n scoffed, looking again at the Miles attached to the punching bag. 

— You are? — She asks, her eyes relaxing and turning her head curious. 

— M-Miles, from another universe. I need to go home, Y/n, you should not be around, it’s dangerous and… —

— Why is he tied up?— 

— Babe, can you let me do my things? Let this in my hand, come on. — Miles took the girl by her hands and kissed her palm. She simply pulls away, frowning. — He’s dangerous, Ma. — 

— He? If he looks like a poor and lost puppy. — She said, looking back to Miles on the punching bag. Her eyes were…warm, she smiled softly, looking curios and poking his cheek. 

Her hand was caught by the other one, he was mad.

— Ma, don’t touch him. —

— Why? he’s you….— She pout. — You’re not planning on killing him or something like that.— She smiled. 

Aaron scoff as the room filled with silence. 

— You’re planning something? —

— Babe, calm down, this bastard has everything. Tiene a su papa vivo, una buena casa, miralo! He probably has you too, why do I have to be the one who is the bad here? — Miles growled, his grip tight on her hands. 

Y/n sighed, looking at him and she leaned softly to kiss him. She gave him a peck on his lips as she smiled. 

— Bebito, solo dejalo ir, nothing is gonna change if you keep him here. If you had the opportunity…hey look at me, wouldn’t you do the same?  — She smiles, taking his cheeks in her hands. — Also, if he had me too, in his universe, I’ll be worried sick if he's not around. You want me to feel like that. — Her tone was childish as she hug Miles with those pretty eyes that he could not say no. Miles scoff at her last sentence. The boy with the braid turns his attention to him, his gaze piercing his chest. — Did you laugh? what was that?—

— Papi….— Y/N said, giving him a disapproved look. 

— S-Sorry, that just sounded weird…My Y/N…well, she’s not into me, we’re not a thing. Just friends.— He said nervous. — Someone is too scared to ask her out? — Miles put his hand around Y/n’s waist as he smirked at Miles, the other one blushing. 

— N-No, just…I’m not into her and she’s not into me either so…— 

He explains carefully, the teen next to Y/n giving him the nasties look ever. He was about to speak, gripping his girl’s body until Y/n speak. 

— Believe me, I’m into you….well, she, she’s into you. — She said softly. 

— Babe, the kid’s right, why would you be into him? You only have good taste. — Miles kisses her cheeks as Y/N giggles.

— Gosh, Miles. I’m into you since we were ten. Don’t worry, este baboso didn’t notice it either.  — She said, rolling her eyes, you two are not that different. — She crosses her eyes, looking back at the chained Miles. — So yeah, she likes you. I would like you too, you’re cute.— She wink at him. 

Miles blush softly. 

— Ma…— Miles pushes Y/N against him again, his arms protective as he look bad at Miles. 

— Also, you’re totally into her too, if Y/n is as pretty as this one…—

— oh, she is. — Miles adds, unconsciously. 

— Well, in that case, You don’t know what you’re missing. — his voice was more directed to Y/n. He started to kiss her as the girl lit, trying to pull apart. 

Aaron just rolls his eyes, used to them. 

But Miles… simply stood there. 

Cause on the one hand. You had a crush on him for that long?

And in the other….geez, you look cute when you smile and your cheeks were blushed like that. 

…

E X T R A: 

Shit….shit! 

Gwen was taken back, not just because of the food at Mile’s party, but because of one girl that was looking at her the entire time. It makes her feel… nervous, a lot. The girl was just so pretty. Why was she looking at her? Should she ask Miles to present her to Gwen?

And then, she smiled, god! her smile was just so enchanting that Gwen was so nervous, she could feel melting on her stops. 

“Y/n…” her name will be grabbed on her mind. She said her name!

Well technically, she said Gwanda, but it was the same. And it sounded good in her accent. 

Yeah, Gwen develops a crush in the most award moment and with the most impossible person ever. But still, she catches a glimpse of Y/n's lovely face before going away from Mile’s building. 

She could think of her later. 

She got an anomaly to catch. 

...

Thanks for reading, I'll probably make a second part...and another like. Side-storyline with Gwen.

I'm too lazy to traduce the spanich prases, sorry. But basically Y/n came from latin america and since she didn't knew english, she became friend with Miles <3

Leave a comment if you liked, a request or any anon message

Besitos a todo el mundo.

Truly yours, Astrid.

[hiatus-xix]

🔞Locked In | ArthurTV

Based on ArthurTV in Locked In S2 on Footaslyum! Summary: Y/n is set the challenge to ignore Arthur for a full day. Too bad that when Arthur realises this, he does everything to try and make you acknowledge him again... Wordcount: 7.3k aka LONG

--------------------------

"Y/n to the storeroom please"

"Hey sugarlips!" You plopped yourself into the leather seat and smiled at the camera and tripod in front of you. 

The Locked In Footaslyum reality show had been hard, that was for sure.

Surprisingly though, one week away from your phone wasn't what had you all that worked up. No, instead it was ArthurTV. He'd been ever so nice at first, when he'd popped up in your Instagram DM's with a "Hi! Saw you're going on Locked In asw :)". And from there you spent your last few days with your phone only messaging Arthur. You woke up? You checked your phone to reply to Arthur. Midday? You had your phone on vibrate to alert you for when he replied. Night-time? The two of you were facetiming in your beds, giggling and both secretly ecstatic you'd be spending two weeks alongside one another. 

Then when you entered into the house, Arthur was first to spot you across the kitchen island, and ran over to wrap you in a hug. The other housemates thought it was just initial, friendly banter. But you were weak in the knees just hugging him. And anyways, soon enough the housemates started guessing at least one of you had a crush on the other.

Afterall, Arthur seemed to always be at your side. If you and Steph were doing your makeup, best believe Arthur was sat at the other spot on the makeup table just waiting there and listening. When Arthur was trying to get better at football with Jamie and Jokeman, you were sat in your puffer jacket on the outdoor sofa watching and occasionally passing the ball back to them. And whenever one of you had to go to the storeroom, best believe the other was piggy-backing them there. 

"Y/n, you and Arthur have been exceedingly close." 

"Is it that obvious?" You questioned with a little giggle. "Hey, we might be close but nothing could get between you and I, Sugarlips, don't you worry."

"I know." She bluntly responded, drawing a laugh from you. "Do you like Arthur?"

"I like everyone in the house, Sugarlips."

"You know what I mean."

You laughed as you could only imagine her rolling her eyes. "Only if he likes me as well I suppose."

"Interesting." Came the enigmatic voice's reply. "We have a challenge for you, Y/n."

"Tell all, Sugartits."

"Please just Sugarlips." She stopped you, making you snort. At least your Scottish mate would be happy you tried. "Your challenge is to ignore Arthur for the whole of today for three points."

"ALL OF TODAY!" You exclaimed with a gasp.

"That's right."

"What, so no doing anything with him."

"You must treat him like he is not there at all."

"Bloody hell that's a whole ask and a half."

"Do you accept your challenge, Y/n?"

"Gah... I... How many points did you say it was?"

"3 points."

"Fuck it, let's do it."

Arthur was already there waiting for you when you exited the store room. He wore one of those fitted white tees- the type that clung to his biceps and broadened his chest, hanging looser around his waist and giving him such a sexy look along with his black cargos, it was a task and a half just ignoring him and walking past him there. You could almost imagine the look of shock on his face as you passed him, pretending you hadn't noticed him and walking up the stairs- flashing one of the recording cameras a you-did-this look before continuing out of the corridor just as you heard Arthur call "Wait for me then, Y/n!" meaning that as soon as you turned the corner, you sprinted across to the bathroom, locking the door behind you to give yourself a moment to recollect your thoughts without Arthur on your back.

Listening closely, you could hear Arthur padding slowly, pausing at some point- before padding up the stairs and into the bedrooms. You allowed yourself to press your back to the door, leaning your head back and squeezing your eyes shut, groaning and wondering how the hell you were meant to do this challenge.

"Y/nnnn..." It wasn't even midday and you were sat across from Anisa and Anastasia doing your makeup, when you heard Arthur's voice looming from down the corridor. Anisa and Anastasia giggled, giving you a look as they normally did when Arthur came looking for you, though they were surprised to see that instead of having your usual big grin on your face, you just did your mascara as though you hadn't heard a thing.

"There you are, feel like I haven't seen you at all today." You refrained from turning around and looking at the oh-so handsome face of Arthur behind you, printing some dewey blush onto the back of your hand instead. 

A tension was raised upon the little makeup table as Arthur's words were met with a blank expression and non-existent response. 

"Have I put too much blush on?" You broke the silence, looking up from the mirror to the girls in front of you, who stared back with open jaws and looks of confusion. Anisa was the first to close her jaw and snap herself out of it, shaking her head before responding.

"It's more than your usual but it suits you, I like it."

"Let me have a look-" Arthur was persistent in trying to get your attention, and when met with no response as you did your best to ignore him, you felt the material of his cargos brushing against your arms as he squat down behind you. Your peripherals showed Arthur's face behind you in the mirror as you searched your makeup bag, doing your best not to look and acknowledge the man behind you- though as you found your pen and your eyes flicked back to the mirror- they momentarily met Arthur's big doe eyes before flitting away- causing a wide grin to light on Arthur's face.

A wide grin you wished you could've been looking at.

"Looks perfect." Arthur commented on the blush, still smiling cheekily as he snaked an arm around you shoulder, travelling across your collarbone so that his fingers brushed your opposite shoulder as he held you in what felt like a possessive way. 

He didn't make it any easier for you to ignore him, the way you could feel butterflies dancing around your stomach and your skin tingling from his touch, hairs raising on the back of your neck as you could feel his every breath land coolly against the side of your neck. 

Being in a house with eight other room-mates was not the place to start getting hot and bothered over a boy, though as you felt Arthur's other hand place softly against your  waist, thumb caressing the soft skin of your stomach exposed by your cropped top whilst his palm rubbed up and down sensually slowly, you could feel your thoughts turning hornier by the second.

"I know what you're trying to do," Arthur whispered into you ear just as Anastasia and Anisa started getting back into their own conversation, not noticing the closeness between yourself and Arthur as pressed his lips to your skin. You gulped and starting unscrewing the lid of your highlighter pen, trying to ignore Arthur's husky voice in your ear. "Good luck tryna ignore me, but just know that I won't make it easy for you..."

Arthur pressed a chaste little kiss behind your ear, patting your hip as a little goodbye before getting up from behind you and departing down the stairs as though nothing had just happened.

You exhaled a breath you didn't even realise you'd been holding.

At some point, Sugarlips gathered you all to the living room sofa, turning a screen on and taking you through comments left on recent videos. 

You lounged yourself besides Steph, resting your head on her shoulder and waiting for the others to arrive. Anisa, Millie, Spuddz, Johnny- they all slotted through the door one by one, and lastly , Arthur came and (to your disappreciation), plopped himself right besides you on the cushions.

One of his arms fell over your shoulders instinctually, though as the comments were read out one after the other, his arm seductively slowly trailed from your shoulders down to your thigh. It was painful, the way you fixated on that soothing touch of his thumb rubbing slowly over your outer thigh, biting your lip and glancing down just momentarily to catch the sight of his large hand almost enveloping the width of your thigh from the tip of his pinkie to his thumb. You felt as though you were discovering new kinks, as the way his hand looked so grand on your thigh had your pupils dilating, thoughts dipping into the forbidden horny vault as your felt his fitted "manwhore" shirt brush against your arm as he leaned close.

"Don't get let me distract you," Arthur whispered into your ear quietly, the cruel smirk dripping from his voice as he taunted you, his breath across your skin making you shiver, feeling his lips brushing the sensitive skin. "You just focus on tryna ignore me, hm?"

You kissed your teeth, not wanting to entertain him and yet having to pretend as though he weren't there regardless. It became easier to ignore his presence as his thumb slowed and slowed until it eventually stopped, just resting against your thigh and sleeping, letting you find yourself back in the moment and laughing with the rest of the housemates as you came back in touch with reality until-

You choked over your word as you felt Arthur's hand slip further across your leggings, his palm resting on your inner thigh and shocking you- turning your face bright red and making you instantly choke on your word, silencing you with shock as your splutters coughs, though nobody seemed to notice it over Darkest's yells of laughter, allowing you a moment to recover. 

Eyes squeezing shut, you couldn't help but flicker your gaze over at Arthur for just a moment, his expression poker straight with just the slightest curl of his lip- amused by your suffering- amused by the way you were like putty in his hands. 

His hand was so dangerously placed. His palm fell over that soft skin ranging from the uppermost bit of your thigh down the inside, fingers spread facing down to your knee so comfortably it was like they belonged there. So sinfully entitled. Bright pink heat rose to your cheeks at the thought of how close he was to you, how one slight fraction of a movement would have his hand on something completely different and have you feeling some other way completely... It felt so wrong, having him like that whilst you were sat by nine others- being recorded for the whole of the internet to see, too.

You were squirming internally, wanting to tell Arthur to stop, get off and leave you be- but you were torn between fulfilling your challenge of ignoring him and your genuine need to have him closer. To tell him to touch you instead. Entertain him. Tell him to do something, and see whether he'd follow it up and play the game with you- who would be first to back down?

And as though Arthur could read your mind, you felt the tip of his pinky which was closest to the seam of your leggings ranging upwards, scaling the see-through mesh region of your leggings and closer to your core.

The only difference between yourself and Arthur though, was that whilst Arthur seemed quite up for a casual bit of exhibitionism just to see you fail your challenge- you were not about to let him fuck you on the Locked In sofa with eight other people watching.  Even if that would set a pretty fuckin unbeatable legacy-

You emit a little gasp as you felt Arthur's pinkie slip perhaps more than he'd meant it. He was barely millimetres away from his finger tips touching the uppermost of your legging's inseam- and you jumped, gripping his wrist firmly enough to make it begin glowing white from the contact- stopping his movements and pinning his wrist in place. You'd jumped around to face Arthur- give him a long, hard look for the first time all day. 

His eyes were completely blown out, brown irises pushed out by feral black pupils, eyes wide in a way you'd never seen them before. A bright red glow was present across either cheek, connected across the bright of his nose which was blushed also- his lips slightly parted as though he was struggling for air, simply running on animalistic desires and needs. 

Even he seemed shocked at the fact you'd acknowledged him- even if it were only for a moment, before both of your heads snapped back to the screen as-

DING! 

"Arthur and Y/n are my absolute faves omg, istg these two have sm chemistry but also sexual tension either they come out of this house FWB's or married atp"

It took a moment for the shock of Arthur's previous actions to mull over and be replaced with the words Sugarlips read out. And then register those words... 

The girls squealed and leaned over to kick your legs with titters of told you! and laughs, whilst Johnny and Darkest just cheered and slammed Arthur on the back as a well done. 

Arthur looked proud despite the even brighter red glow of embarrassment across his cheeks, whilst you just collapsed against Steph's side, using Steph's body as a shield for your rudolph-red face, leaning against her for a moment longer than you really needed to just so to fully recover from whatever the Hell had happened within the last ten minutes. 

Retracting from Steph as the attention shifted back to the screen, the next comment already being read out, you looked back at Arthur's face.

He glanced at you, lips curving into a devious smirk. "You're welcome." He grinned maliciously, drawing a huff from you as you turned around to face the screen and purposefully crossed your leg over the other- swinging one thigh over the other and away from Arthur. 

"Y/n, please report to the storeroom."

You plopped your ass on their confession seat. "He's an absolute wanker you know, Sugarlips, been testing my patience out."

"We can tell. He is very touchy today."

Your ears went bright red. "Whatall have you seen, sugarlips."

"His hand was around your shoulder at the seats. And Steph's body blocked our view of his hand, but it looked like it was on your knee."

Oh thank fuck the cameras didn't see what happened. You mentally breathed a sigh of relief. God bless Steph and her beautiful body. 

"We also have seen you look at Arthur and talk to him momentarily."

"Whoa whoa whoa, sugarlips you gotta understand that was necessary, he said he'd poo on my bed tonight if I didn't."

"Do you expect us to give you a second chance?"

"Well, if you're offering one sugarlips, those three points would be much appreciated."

"Hm... We'll see how you do for the rest of the day, Y/n."

You grinned, knowing that meant she agreed. "Cheers, Sugarlips, I'll do you proud."

"Of course you will, Y/n."

Just as you got up to leave, you felt the need to double back to Sugarlips.

"Oh, and please give Arthur something to do. Otherwise he's just constantly on my back."

Turns out the distraction Sugarlips provided to Arthur was insufficient. 

The chessboard they'd gifted Arthur was entertaining for twenty minutes, in which time you'd decided to begin making some sort of dinner, and Arthur had already won 4 games against the other house members.

The pot sizzled as you added the soy sauce into the mince, the garlic, shallots and red chilli following as you double checked the rice also to make sure everything was cooking just fine. Given that within the first few days the house had ran through the entire supply of pot noodles, everyone who could actually cook without transferring salmonella had gone on a rota for who cooked each night.

Tonight was your night, and although most times whenever someone cooked the rest of the house would join them and entertain them- you'd asked to just be able to cook alone so that you could just let your mind declutter after the day. Plus, you wanted to make a Thai bowl for everyone, and that required a little bit of mental effort to just remember how exactly that was cooked. 

Questions whizzed around your head as you separated the mince out using the wooden spatula, keeping your mind so occupied that you didn't realise someone else had joined you in the kitchen until it was too late. 

A gasp was drawn straight from your throat as you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist, squeezing you and swaying from side to side in what would've been a sweet, domestic way- had it not been for the way you already knew who it was hugging you from behind.

You weakly shrugged those arms away, trying not to let butterflies form as a result of his touchy loving. You couldn't tell if you were relieved or slightly despondent as Arthur really did pull away. 

"I'll get plates out," Arthur hummed, reaching to open the draw above your head and easily managing to do so as it swung open without touching a hair on your head.

For the second time within the minute, a gasp left your throat as Arthur's body came flush with yours from behind, pressing up against your back as he leaned over to find ten china bowls in the cupboard above your head.

Though the action of Arthur pressing his body up so close to yours you could feel the heat radiating through his shirt was enough to get your cheeks reddening- the feeling of something beneath his cargos pressing into your lower back gave you the realisation that you weren't the only one getting unmanageably horny within the locked in house.

As Arthur pulled away a moment later, hands laden with china, he made eye contact and passed the most subtle of winks that had you rolling your eyes and looking for the videoing camera within one of the four corners before locating it and mouthing I hate him, all the while fighting to turn your face a more normal colour.

Of course, Arthur caught your reddened face with a cheeky grin, only returning for more as he claimed to "help set the table", feeling the need to place his hands on your hips to move you out of the way of the cutlery drawer. 

And that didn't help the rudolph-red face.

Thank God Spuddz had gotten too bored of all the chess and wandered into the kitchen, spotting Arthur and bounding over, holding Arthur beneath one arm and chatting to you with the other half of his brain about how Arthur must've been cheating with the chess board ("I'm telling you- he must have a bishop shoved up his bu-)

You allowed Spuddz to remove Arthur with a sigh of relief, finishing up the Thai cuisine and plating up equal sized portions in each bowl before loading them onto a tray and handing them out- joining Millie on the sofas and enjoying watching her playful bickering with Jamie whilst you ate your rice. 

And it was nice to see everyone appreciate your cooking, as the girls begged for you to move in with them just to try more of your cooking, whilst Darkest, Johnny and Jokeman declared you "wifey" material and gave Arthur pointed looks. 

Whilst it was all well and fun eating with your housemates and listening to the banter that was contentedly thrown from person to person, you found yourself getting up to stretch after you'd eaten- deciding to excuse yourself to take a shower.

"I'll be about half an hour in there, if you wanna grab your stuff to brush your teeth downstairs be my guest." You informed the room before heading up, grabbing a towel and your shower kit, heading into the bathroom and letting the water run.

Nobody appeared to be interested in getting their toiletries, thus you took great pleasure in slinging your towel over the shower door and stepping into the glass door confinement and allowing the warm jets to run down your body and cleanse all the soapy suds that trailed from your neck down your body and into the drain. 

It was calming, and a bloody good place to just get a moment to yourself whereby you knew you could go unbothered- and you got a nice good look at yourself in the mirror as you dried yourself down with the towel you'd initially brought in for yourself- even getting out the moisturiser to nourish your skin with. 

It was only when you turned around to the bare radiator, you realised that you had left your clothes outside. In a little bundle on the edge of your bed- you could practically visualise it there, see it almost tauntingly sat on the edge of your bed. 

Your head fell into your hands, your digits barely muffling your groan as you realised you'd have to run to your bed in just that towel to try and grab the clothes and get back in without anyone seeing you. Or at least none of the boys; all the girls were fine, at least.

Peeking through the keyhole, it appeared nobody was even there. And you weren't going to start second guessing yourself and leave enough time for someone else to walk on up and enter in the bedroom meaning you had to wait any longer to get your clothes.

You pushed the door handle down firmly, one hand gripping the towel which was knotted at your chest to hold the it safe around your body...

Marching with a quick pace- you barely made a step outside of the bathroom before you slammed into a body which sent you recoiling with a gasp. Yet they only closed the gap between you, shutting the door behind them with a backwards kick as your back hit the sinks leaving you no exit as he leaned in close.

Arthur's eyes had you unable to look away, the blaze within them making knots form in your stomach whilst the smirk that rested on his face seemed to bring that same feeling down to your core. 

"Been having fun ignoring me all day?" He cocked his head and asked with a devious grin. 

"Yeah and I still should be ignoring you." You managed to break the eye contact, focussing on a wall instead. Yet by not being able to see Arthur you only became more wary of his touch which only seemed to bring a redness to your cheeks as you realised how vulnerable you were in just a thin towel with a flimsy knot at the top. Fuck, you could feel goosebumps lighting across your skin as you realised that the towel barely reached your thighs and your weren't even wearing panties beneath! Arthur appeared to notice all that embarrassment on your face too, and seemed to take great satisfaction in it.

"Oh c'mon, you know damn well they can't hear you in here..." You turned back to him and looked onto his shirt, realising he'd also unplugged his mic from his tee shirt. And his grin only widened as he watched you notice this and glance upwards to meet his eyes, a glimmer of realisation and maybe even desire in your eyes. "I think we have some unfinished business, Y/n."

"And what would that be?" You tried to match his confidence with a cocky grin of your own, having realised that nobody- not even Sugarlips would be able to see what happened now. "Was it trying to fuck me on that sofa downstairs? Or grind until we're fucking on the kitchen counter..."

"Didn't realise you such were an exhibitionist," His fingers found your jaw, thumb gently padding over your lips whilst his index and middle lightly pushed against your chin, indicating for you to tilt your head back- allowing him to close the very last bit of space between the two of you- his lips delicately brushing your jawline as he mumbled "But why don't we start here, for now..."

His lips were feather light, his stubble brushing gently across your tender skin as he mumbled those words before pressing a kiss at the prominent bone at your jawline, his touch delicate despite the passion behind it, causing butterflies in your stomach as his gentle touch trailed down from your jawline to your lower neck. 

Your eyes fluttered and closed as Arthur caught you by surprise, gasp leaving your throat as he bit down onto a sensitive spot between your neck and collarbone which made your heartrate shoot up, lips fall between your teeth in a futile attempt to try and muffle a moan as Arthur's mouth formed a suction around the skin, ravenously leaving a dark purple mark which he pressed his tongue flat onto once more, pressing until you were whimpering and clenching your thighs together subconsciously- the whine in your voice only turning Arthur on as you felt his lips curve into a smirk atop your skin.

"Can I take this off?" He looked up, two fingers hooked around the knot of the towel between your breasts, the only thing holding your dignity together. Yet you could feel your 'dignity' dripping between your legs, and couldn't restrain yourself from nodding your head, whispering "Fuck, yes" and relishing in the feeling of Arthur's long, talented fingers unravel your towel in a mere second, dropping to the floor and exposing you.

There was almost a feeling of shyness, being this vulnerable to him, and you looked down- your arms crossing over your stomach loosely, subconsciously shielding yourself, though Arthur seemed to hate the idea as-

"-No-" His hand grabbed your arm, pinning it back besides your body so quickly a gasp left your throat as you looked to catch Arthur's expression. Wholly mesmerised. "Fuck, you're so beautiful..."

That queued another blush to rise to your cheeks, biting down on your lip and looking to the floor, yet you weren't given an opportunity to bask in the praise as Arthur's hands snaked down to your tits, large hands encompassing the soft flesh as he fondled both boobs simultaneously, thumbs teasing over the sensitive buds and making your legs shake as you let out a shaky breath, trying not to moan, considering you had not clue whether anyone would be able to hear what was happening from outside if they just so happened to wander into the bedroom...

Only when Arthur's head lowered to one titty, did you realise how defenseless you were though, as a unexpected moan was pulled from your throat, back arching from the sink as his hot mouth was placed around one nipple, his tongue swirling before flicking the hard nub with such experience you inadvertently started grinding down onto his clothes leg which rested between either thigh all too invitingly. 

"A-Arthur-" You managed to hold your moans to whine his name. He pulled away with a hum in response, his hands following the curve of your sides down to your hips where the space between his thumb and index fit perfectly in your hip dips. You almost got lost in how fucking intoxicating the feel of his hands over your hips was- controlling your movements and handling you as he turned you around so that you faced the mirrors, looking at him in the reflection and doting on how infatuated he looked as his eyes scanned down your body, his eyes lingering at your fat ass. Your responsible thoughts all came back to you though as you felt Arthur's hand glide over to your peachy skin, fingers closing around a handful of ass before you opened your mouth again. "Arthur- we shouldn't be doing t-this..."

You watched as his lips quirked, curving into a sinful smile that only made your thoughts juxtapose your previous words.

"That's funny." He hadn't moved to meet your eyes yet. You just stared at his reflection wonderingly, only feeling as his hand slowly moved across your skin, his other hand finding your lower back and you unintentionally arched your back at the touch, exposing your core to him which caused a low chuckle to come from his throat. "You say we shouldn't be doing this, but your body seems to feel otherwise-" A gasp fell from your throat, your neck rolling back as you felt Arthur's hand between your thighs, his thumb tracing up between your folds until he felt touched your clit- the bundle of nerves shooting fireworks all over your body as he just touched it only a fraction. 

He chuckled at your response to even the slightest of stimulation, your thighs clenching and clamping around his hand with the little friction he gave. His fingers only kept working, however, as he traced his middle and index finger back up from to your slit, collecting your arousal on his fingers and only using it to lubricate his motions as he slipped his fingers into your pussy, curling them and making you let out a loud moan, closing your eyes and biting down on your lip after as you realised how loud you were. 

"Because we don't have to do this if you 'know' that we shouldn't..." Arthur's words were taunting, borderline cruel as his words told you one thing, yet the fingers that slid between your walls told you another. "You want to stop? You just tell me and I'll stop touching you..." He was cruel - he knew you were too drunk on the feeling of his digits pushing into your pussy, finding that pleasure spot and making you want to cry out as you felt him brush it with every stroke, his thumb pairing with the motion and rubbing agonising circles on your clit.  

Your hands gripped the edge of the sink, knuckles glowing nearly as white as the marble as you tried not to let out stupidly loud noises. And as though Arthur could read you mind:

"Don't be too loud, hm?" He was scorning you yet again, taunting with sarcasm dripping from his voice in such a sexy way you could feel yourself quite literally dripping onto his hand between your thighs. "I'd say you'd hate if anyone knew what we were doing, but if you wanna fuck on that sofa downstairs next, then I really don't know how you'd feel..."

You didn't humour his mocking, your eyes already rolled to the back of your head, hips inadvertently rocking back and forth, following the movement of his hand so that you could feel a knot forming in your stomach - your orgasm echoed in your actions as you felt yourself clench just the slightest bit around his fingers- 

Before he took them out of you.

You were dazed, so close to orgasm and so disappointed as you opened your eyes, frowning at Arthur in the mirror before seeing his unbuckling his belt behind you...

Not so disappointed after all, you rocked your hips back and forth, easing away the draining feeling of the lost orgasm and instead looking at his reflection in the mirror and waiting for him to take his cargos off...

"Fuck, do they have condoms here?" 

"No need," You smiled innocently. "On the pill."

Arthur groaned at the way you said it, his hand disappearing under his cargos to stroke his length under his boxers, feeling over the rock-hard boner, tip red from the blood rush and precum smeared sinfully over the tip. 

Feeling his cock running along your folds, collecting your wetness on his tip as he directed his cock from your clit all the way back to your hole had you in a state- loud moan leaving your throat as you threw your head back.

"Go on then, tell me how much you want this," That devilish grin had returned to his face as he waited for you to talk.

"So fucking bad, Arthur..." You didn't even bother with being subtle about it, the way you were so needy for it, you'd completely lost your filter and were completely ravenous for Arthur. 

Feeling him push the tip into your pussy was enough to have your mind completely broken with pleasure, the stretch already so good... Yet Arthur didn't push in fully as you stopped talking. "Keep going," Arthur encouraged you to speak with a devilish grin. 

"Need you so fucking bad Arthur, I want you inside me..." You could feel him sinking furthering into you, his cock filling your pussy up inch my inch and having you completely wasted as you kept babbling. "Please, fuck, fuck me Arthur..."

Arthur had bottomed out as you said the last bit, waiting a moment or so and only just allowed you to adjust to his size before he pulled back slowly before thrusting right back inside, your whole body jolting at the feeling, a raw moan leaving your throat as you felt his tip brushing you G-spot instantly, making your legs feel jelly when he was only one thrust deep.

He felt so good, the stretch, the angle, the way he hit that spot - your head was bowed, whole body shaking as you felt his hands on your hips, manhandling and snapping your body back by the hips to match his thrusts, only reaching deeper into your pussy and making you nearly cry from how good it felt. 

One hand moved from your hips, reaching up and grabbing your hair in a bunch and pulling your head back so animalistically you almost got whiplash (and yet you would've been willing to thank him for it), the motion making you groan as he pulled your head up so that you were forced to look into the mirror. 

Arthur looked fucking Godly. His hair spiked and messy, jaw slack and eyes half lidded, that gorgeous body that looked as though it had been chiselled by Zeus itself... 

A gasp fell from your throat, pushing you forwards as you felt him hit somewhere completely new, taking you with shock and complete euphoria as you felt stars clouding your vision. 

"Ugh, fuck, Arthur- I think..." You had to bite down on your lip to prevent the absolutely filthy moan from escaping your lips. Arthur got the message though, and he didn't seem that far away either- the way his thrusts grew sloppier by the second.

"Same, fuck, c'mere gorgeous-" He could feel your legs giving out already, and didn't hold himself back in wrapping one arm around your leg, raising it so that it was by your side as you leaned your bodyweight back onto him- his other arm holding your body against his own whilst he snapped his hips up to thrust into you. He could practically feel how close to your climax you were, and grunted "Say my name- fuck- say my name when you cum-"

You were body had completely faltered, unable to support itself under the buzz of fruition that had each individual neurone in your body racing with impulses running at the speed of light, the knot in your stomach growing tighter and tighter by the second until you were seeing stars in your vision, thighs shaking from the muscles tightening so much- your whole body filling with euphoria as you followed his command and chanted his name "A-Arthur, ohmyfuckinggodArthur!", your orgasm rushed dopamine through your whole body as you came - hard - black spots clouding your vision as you felt the pleasure drain from your head to the tips of your fingers...

And just as you felt that pleasure turning into just the slightest of painful overstimulation- Arthur's cock still thrusting into you as he chased his own climax, his athletic arms practically picking you up and manoeuvring your body so that he could fuck himself into you to get his own end- he let out one loud groan, his head burrowing into the crook of your neck as you felt him filling you up, reaching his own orgasm and painting your insides with his hot white climax, his lips leaving one final hickey against the already marked skin of your neck before gently lowered you onto your own (shakey) legs.

There was a peace in the air.

A strange sort of mutual serenity came, having shed all of that sexual tension and weeks of hopeful talking and finally, finally just fucking and resolving all of that built up traction.

"Fucking finally," You were the first to break the silence with a grin, turning around so that your body faced Arthur's smiling as you looked at that beautiful face of his.

"What, you've been wanting this for a while, too?" Arthur asked jokingly, though it was obvious he was really being genuine with what he said. 

"Yeah, considering you've been teasing me all day it's no big shock that I've been wanting this." You rolled your eyes, Arthur laughing himself. "I think I need another shower though..."

"Am I coming?" Arthur quirked a brow with a hopeful smile.

"No, you just came in me a minute ago," You rolled your eyes at him, stalking over to the open shower and turning the tap on before turning around with a wide grin and beckoning him over despite your shitty joke. "Come on- get in here, you big idiot."

With no need for any more convincing, Arthur joined you in the shower with a laugh- flicking water on your face and attacking you with full-power setting on the shower head for a few minutes, laughing as you defended yourself with the loofa before eventually stopping him by just pressing a kiss to his lips to distract him for long enough before you took the shower head back and started attacking him with it. 

"You know, I didn't realise this showerhead had such a high pressure setting..." You smirked, turning it back onto the high pressure and admiring what good use it could go to.

"I can use it on you." Arthur only doubled down far too quickly, making you laugh as you turned it back to a normal setting.

"Why don't we save that for tomorrow, hm?" You proposed jokefully, yet Arthur's enthusiastic nods told you that maybe it wouldn't be a just a joke after all.

What could've been a simple, five minute shower was drawn out into a fifty minute one, and when you came out giggling besides Arthur and you were met with Johnny sat on his bed. 

He sat far too smugly, arms crossed with a smirk and a knowing look, reminding you of his presence AND making you remember the fact you were in a house with eight other people, making a great heat rise to your face as all the giggles with Arthur fell to a deadpan expression, realising you hadn't been quite so mindfully of your volume just half an hour ago when Arthur was seven inches inside of you... 

Your face went bright red as you passed Johnny, hissing a you better keep your mouth shut to him before quickly walking out of the room in embarrassment, hoping Johnny didn't notice your limp, hearing his laughs from behind you which indicated that Johnny was not, in fact, going to keep his mouth shut.

---------------------

Bonus scene!

"Guys, I've got a message! It says everyone to the living room!"

You all huddled on the sofa and awaited further instructions.

"Y/n was set a secret mission today." You grinned as some of the people around the sofa let out gasps at Sugarlips' words. Your smile at your friends slowly faded however, as you remembered what that challenge was.... And what you'd just done an hour ago. "Y/n's challenge was to ignore Arthur all day."

"I knew something was up with you at the makeup table earlier!" Anisa exclaimed, punching your arm and making you mumble a little something, cheeks beginning to tinge pink as you wondered whether Sugarlips knew anything...

"Y/n, can you guess whether you passed or failed?"

You groaned internally. Why the hell would she leave it up to you to decide? Did she expect you to admit what you'd done?

You looked over to Arthur for help, and he just had a hand over his mouth in obvious shock as well, though he let out laughs nonetheless. 

Your face was flushed bright red when you finally answered, and of course Spuddz pointed out- "Oi, why's your face like a lobster?" To which Steph hit him on your behalf, though Anastasia to your right gave you a shove and doubled down on Spuddz's question.

"Y/n, do you want to tell the house how you failed the challenge?" The wide grin was evident even in Sugarlips' voice as she asked the taunting question.

Anisa let out a little scream and Johnny burst out laughing all too knowingly- yourself cringing at Johnny's insider knowledge and forcing you to cover your face with your hands in pure horror, just wishing the ground would swallow you up in that moment. 

"Spilll then, tell us!" They all clamoured over one another, one of the girls shaking you by your arm, though you didn't look up to see them. 

"Look, c'mon, c'mon we can work this out guys...." Darkest hushed everyone around the sofa, taking on the role of Sherlock Holmes. "When was she set the task?"

"Probably at eleven like we were all brought in when we had our challenges." Jamie deduced.

"What did she do after eleven, then?" Darkest asked.

"Oo, that was makeup with me and Anastasia!" Anisa perked up. You raised your head with your eyes wide, watching as everyone began connecting the dots and fearing for their eventual conclusion...

"Then we had the comments read out where she was on the sofa with all of us..."

"Then the group challenge we were altogether, and she was on a different team to Arthur anyways-"

"And then cooking dinner... Wait! Arthur got up and went to the kitchen then, didn't he?"

"Yeah but she still ignored him there- I walked in and just saw him laying the table in there in silence..."

"Well, what then? That was just an hour ago wasn't it...?"

"Yeah"

"True"

"Hmmm..."

You hoped they'd all finish there. Reach decide their deductions were eventually inconclusible and finish up.

"Well, that's the end of that-" You tried to clap your hands together and end them, though Johnny couldn't wipe the grin off his face as he slipped-

"Then she went upstairs."

"Ohmygod and Arthur went up as well, didn't he..."

Jokeman let out a scream, getting up onto the sofa and pointing between yourself and Arthur with a hand over his mouth in shock.

"What? What? what happened?!" Everyone began exclaiming at him, not quite reaching the conclusion as fast as him. You could tell that Jokeman knew just by the look in his eyes, and went to cover your face for the third time of this evening, not wanting to even hear it as Jokeman yelled-

"HE'S FINALLY GOT SOME HASN'T HE?!"

That queued everyone to let out screams, yells, cries of laughter and response which you tried to shield yourself from as you pulled your knees up to your chest as well, burrowing in a ball as the girls shook you and cheered for you, noisily nattering besides you and throwing questions at you whilst you could only assume the boys had gone to pester Arthur.

You were practically crying into your arms, wishing the ground would swallow you up as you felt the commotion from the girls rocking the sofa beneath you- one whacking you with a pillow... Yet all you could think about was the countless number of views and clips this would get- not to mention the people that you knew were going to see it...

You looked up after a couple seconds, embarrassedly meeting Arthur with embarrassed eye contact. He grinned, offering an overdone wink with a pink dusting of blush all over his cheeks as he leaned to the right and slapped his palm into Jokeman and Darkest's, dapping them up with a far-too-cocky grin and laugh, making you roll your eyes and un-ball yourself as a grin began growing on your face.

Absolute prick, you thought towards Arthur, before looking to the camera in the corner of the look- pointing at it and grinning as you yelled- "THIS IS YOUR FAULT, Y'KNOW?!"

----------

CONRGRATS IF YOU READ TO THE END!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR, TOO (SAY IT BACK!). Thought the best way to start 2024 would be with some ArthurTV smut, and I hope you can all agree.

Hope you enjoyed reading!! Feel free to interact- whether that be a comment, vote or follow! Requests open, feel free to submit what u wanna see... Much love!!

To see more, here's my MASTERLIST

And here's my WATTPAD, with 50+ more oneshots to read

[jayden-killer]

MIGUEL O'HARA AS YOUR BF

(expect this is a realistic version because i'm tired seeing silly versions of him, like IDGAF).

Miguel is the type of guy to observe surroundings around him (and also people). So he would watch you while you do things, any kind of things. You always feel his eyes on you, as if they are judging you.

He doesn't like PDA that much, not because he's against it or smth, he doesn't despite it either. He's just not used to affection so he would open up with you after a long, long time... He needs courage. Give him some time, and he'll start holding hands, brushing his thumb on your hand palm and maybe he'll even hug you.

That previous headcanon also counts with kisses.

In arguments he will let slip from his mouth mean things, how of much "he wished he'd never met you" or "how fucking useless you are". He has angry issues (ofc he has them, we saw that in the movie), he doesn't control himself. He doesn't mean that of course, anger clouds his mind.

He doesn't respect boundaries at all. If you want some time for yourself, then he will start putting pressure. "Why are you keeping distant from me? Did I do something? Don't do this, it's pointless".

But if he is the one wanting to have some time for him, OH BOY-he'll push you away and avoid you like plague until he's feeling better. If you try to make him feel better, he'll yell and throw a tantrum like a child.

Miguel is extremely jealous, to the point to make you avoid all of your male friends (if you have them). He doesn't accept any no for answer.

He's also the type of guy to project his insicurites and past trauma on you, making you feel small and self-concious.

His way to show how he loves you is giving you gifts, like expensive necklaces or bracelets and even cute things like your favourite flowers or a dress you'd like. He does it because he's not good in expressing his feelings out loud, neither with words.

[eli-com]

୧ *·˚ DISTANCE — HOBIE BROWN

୨୧ includes — tired hobie, kisses !, slightly (?) suggestive content, fluff, sleep deprived bad writing

— Hobie had been distant lately.

It wasn’t purposeful, no, he’d never purposely avoid you, but he’d just been so busy. Miguel had been driving him crazy, giving him mission after mission; if he didn’t hate the man before, he certainly did now, especially since he was taking away from time that could’ve been spent with you.

It felt like weeks since the last time Hobie had properly spent time with you. By the time he finally came home you’d be in bed, the lamp in the corner of the living room left on for him, his dinner in the fridge waiting to be heated up with a small sticky note on-top, always some kind of joke or sweet sentence that allowed a short chuckle to leave his lips. The small gestures meant a lot to him, being some of the only things that could bring a smile to his lips after a long day. It wouldn’t take long for him to crawl into bed beside you, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you closer to him, head nestling into your shoulder as the sound of your breathing lulled him to sleep.

So, after getting used to this routine, it was a surprise when he crawled through the window of your shared flat only to find you awake, curled up on the sofa reading a book. It had been another late night, Miguel had ordered a last minute meeting between him and some of the other spiders. He finally arrived home around two AM, almost falling to the floor at the mere sight of you. His mask was quickly removed as he rushed over to you, practically throwing his body on-top of yours, arms circling around your waist, face pressed into your stomach.

A small giggle would leave your lips as you tried to push him off, your book long forgotten on the coffee table beside you.

“Hobes! Your pins are digging into me!” You’d whine, before he quickly removed the sleeveless leather jacket he always wore over his spider suit, refusing to get off of you as he did so. The jacket would be discarded to the floor, left for one of you to trip over later (most likely you).

“What you doing up? Don’t you have work tomorrow?” His words would be muffled as his face tucked into your stomach once more, but you could just about make out what he was saying.

“Booked the day off, thought I could spend it at home with you instead.” This would cause Hobie to look up, his chin now resting on your lower abdomen. His once hard features seemed to soften at your words, lips forming a thin line as he gazed up at you.

“Unless you have to be at the society?” He’d quickly shake his head, kissing his teeth.

“Fuck that, my times better spent here with you. They’ll just have to find someone else to fill in for me.” Your hand would move to his face, cupping his jaw as he leant into your touch. He looked tired, dark bags under his eyes, he honestly seemed as though he could pass out any minute.

“I don’t want you getting in trouble with Miguel.” The mention of that name pulled a scoff from Hobie.

“Don’t give a shit what that cunt has to say to me anymore, probably gonna quit anyways.” His gaze would slowly turn to the room around him, avoiding you, but you were having none of it. You’d softly cup his face with both hands this time, forcing him to look at you.

“You won’t quit, what about your friends there? You love them, fighting beside them, you’re always telling me stories about it, I can see how much they mean to you just by the look on your face.” He found it adorable when you were all serious like this.

“I love my friends.” He’d state. “But I love you more.”

He’d move now, parting your legs so he could rest in between them, a steady hand on the small of your back pulling you towards him so that his lips could finally meet yours for what felt like the first time in years. A small sigh would leave you, your eyes immediately closing as your arms circled around his neck. This was what Hobie had been dreaming about for the last few weeks; being so close to you, feeling you in his arms, your own wrapped tightly around him as if he could vanish at any moment. He’d longed to hear the small sounds only he was able to draw from you when nobody else was around; they were his to listen to. Even just being able to hear your voice sent waves of pleasure through him, comfort consuming his body as his tense muscles finally relaxed.

“Missed you so much.” He’d mumble into the kiss, the hand on your back sliding under the vest you were wearing and rubbing small circles on your bare skin. “Been going crazy without you, love.” His lips would leave yours as he begun to trail small pecks down your jaw before moving forwards, teeth grazing over the spot just below your ear that he knew you liked, a shiver running down your spine; you could almost feel him smirking against you.

“Don’t think you can distract me from the conversation that easily, Hobes. We still need to talk about you quitting, you don’t want to rush any decisions-“ You were cut off by him gently biting down on another one of your sensitive spots, a small whine erupting in your throat.

“I don’t know what you’re on about, sweets.” He’d chuckle against you as he moved back up to once again plant his lips on yours, tongue swiping against your bottom lip for entrance, which you gladly granted. His free hand had now moved down to the waistband of your pyjama bottoms, thumb hooking itself into them and slowly beginning to pull them down before being stopped by your own hand as you now pulled away from the kiss, panting.

You’d stare at him, a solemn glint in your eyes.

“You’re knackered, Hobie, and as much as I wanna see where this is going, I’d rather you get some rest; we have all of tomorrow to do as we like.” He’d frown, but knew you were right. Although he really wanted to carry on, his eyes were beginning to droop, mind going fuzzy as the tiredness took over him. A reluctant nod would come from him as he dropped his head onto your chest, arms once again circling around you; he couldn’t be bothered to move to the bed, so the sofa would have to do.

“Alright, but only because you’re gonna have to get a lot of sleep to prepare yourself for tomorrow.” He’d joke, placing one last kiss onto your collarbone before allowing himself to slowly give into the temptation of sleep, a small “night love” sounding from him before he went silent.

Hobie was in your arms, a smile playing on his lips as he thought of what tomorrow would bring. Once again, all was right in the world.

this is really shitty and I lost the point of where it was meant to go halfway because I wrote it at like 4 am but it’s my first post so 😊

[saturrnss]

New years

Euphoria x Spiderverse crossover

Summary: Gwen suggests that her along with hobie, pav, and miles should go to the new years party in euphoria.

A/n: euphoria crossover!! (Yes THAT show lmao) and some things might be different but I have the excuse of the ✨️multiverse✨️ by my side. (Also pav is 16 in this)

Skunk- weed

Warnings: underage smoking- that's about it lmao

One hot summer night, The spider gang- Miles, Gwen, Hobie, and Pavtir were bored out of their minds, searching for something, anything to do.

"Why can't we just go to a show in Old York yeah?" Hobie suggested but a unanimous no from the rest was followed seconds after. "Gwen why can't we just go to your dimension??" Miles says. "Yeah, it was so much fun the last time," Pav says while lying on the floor, repeatedly throwing a ball up and catching it.

"Yeah well, I'm kinda grounded at the moment so." She says scrolling mindlessly through the social media of her dimension. Pav groans in frustration and plops on Miles's bed right next to Hobie playing with the strings on his guitar.

"It's like I'm melting away by how bored I am this could not be possibly okay!" He yelled out loud to no one in particular.

"Okay, there must be something that we all would be good with right?!" Miles says to the rest. "We never run into this problem, we're gonna find something!"

"Hopefully," Hobie says under his breath.

"Wait, guys!" Gwen almost jumps up enthusiastically while still looking at her phone, her words grasp the attention of the room as the boys all snap their necks to look at her.

"Y'know that show on HBO- euphoria?!"

M: yeah?

P: what's that?

H: Worst show I've ever seen

She gets up and starts to walk around the room. "I was thinking that maybe, we can go to the party that they go to in the new season!" "Yeah but how are we gonna explain- where we come from or why We're there?" Miles asks, not really with the idea.

"Most people are gonna be too high, drunk, or both to care." She struggles to put her shoes on. "We're just going to fly under the radar." She casually falls on the bed and starts fiddling with her watch- shoes and all."

"Just have to find the right universe..." Everyone looks at her, visibly cringing at the fact she broke an unspoken rule with such ease, but all she was focused on was finding the right universe.

She stared and pressed intently at the watch for over a minute until she found a perfect dimension. "Found it!" She looks up smiling but that emotion was nullified when she was the rest of the group sort of side-eyeing her.

"What?" Gwen says confused. "Ya fawking shoes mate," Hobie says with a slightly disgusted look on his face, looking at the sneakers and then at her so she could get the very obvious hint.

"Oh..." she awkwardly laughs and shuffles her feet off. "Okay, so when are we going? "Doing nothing is eating away at me," Pav says, half of his face on one of the pillows on the bed. "Well, I'm waiting for you all to get ready!" She throws Miles's jacket at him and they start to slowly get dressed.

*5 minutes later*

"OK, you all have everything with you?" Gwen says. "Yeah." They all say at the same time. "Your parents awake miles?" "Asleep for the time being," He said, straightening out his clothes. "My parents actually will kill me if they find out."

"That's why I picked a dimension where 15 minutes in this one, is an hour and a half in that," Gwen says smirking, Hobie pats Miles on the back.

"Don't sweat it big man, just don't mess up a Canon event that would make that cunt Miguel froth at the mouth and you'll be good."

Miles takes a big gulp at that last part. "Do you always carry that around with you?" Miles says, looking at Hobie with his guitar strapped on his back. "Just in case I need to make a political statement on the stop bruv, you never know."

Gwen opened the portal: Things in the room started to float, blueish-purple flashes of hexagons that came out of nowhere at first but a wave of energy came over it and turned the color into a redish-orange.

There were multiple hexagons, some turned ever so slightly that it looked uneven- the pattern of shapes seemed to be evergoing.

They walked into the portal and a couple of seconds later they ended up in a forest area- trees all around the area they could see. They look around, "I don't think we're in the right-" Pav started to say but it's like their brain was interconnected

The base from the distance was so powerful, it made the hair on their skin stand up at the same time. "Over there I think!" Gwen pointed and walked in the direction she felt the beat was coming from and the rest followed.

For 30 seconds they walked- the beat getting louder and louder as they came closer. They finally got to the party, the vibrations they got goosebumps from coming from the song "HYPNOTIZE" by Notorious B.I.G. playing from the 5 big speakers on the outside.

The chaotic energy of maybe hundreds of people at the party trying to do their own thing and how cramped it is made Mile's stomach drop. "You alright bruv?" Hobie asked at the perfect time like he usually did.

"Yeah I'm fine- I'll be okay," Miles said, his breathing starting to get a little heavy. "Hey," Hobie pulls him aside and leans him "just come and find me if you feel overwhelmed, alright?"

"Alright," Miles said, glad that he could go to someone while he was there. They enter the house and due to the compact crowd, they split up and go their separate ways.

GWEN'S P.O.V: she walks down the hallways- studying the people in conversations and watching the people walking past her. She didn't plan for the talking to people part of the party, ever since her Peter died she's had a really hard time making friends and talking to people in general.

While in her head she suddenly bumps into a tall blonde girl, making them spill both of their drinks. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" Gwen says, quickly picking up the cup getting some nearby napkins, and wiping the floor.

"It's fine!" The girl said, then started to help Gwen.

"Again I am so sorry-" She looks up and her eyes widen- It was Jules.

Jules's eyes go to Gwen's hair first "Your hair's really cool!" "Oh, this?!" She grabs the long part of her hair. "Didn't have a choice but, thank you."

Jules smiled at the comment and they ended up having a really pleasant conversation.

MILES P.O.V: It was so awkward, he was a little bit anxious but that's what always happened to him in super social situations, but he did find a few people to have short encounters with but this one red-haired guy maintained small talk with him.

"Yeah I draw in my free time," He said "But I'm studying science right now- out of state." "That's what's up." The redhead says, rolling a blunt and lighting it, He takes a hit out of it and coughs while exhaling.

He offers to Miles by trying to pass the blunt to him but Miles instinctively backs away. "I can't!" He fears he may have come off as too aggressive. "....parents always on my back." He forced out a laugh.

The guy nods his head in an understanding way and goes back to it. Miles hadn't seen the show so he didn't know if he was talking to a main character or not- nor whose house this was but as long as he didn't too much attention to himself he was chill.

That guy he was talking to had a buzzcut, and the dark green sweater he had on looked straight out of the 90s, he talked slowly and sounded high but he was cool in actuality.

Miles then got up to use the bathroom, it was kind of hard but when he found it there was virtually no line, just people hanging out in the hallway.

He walked up to the bathroom door, he tried to open it- it was looked.

"Hello? Anybody there?" Tried the door knob a few more times but still locked. He didn't want to be invasive but it was concerning how he heard virtually nobody.

And then he heard it.

The noises.

He put his ear to the door to make sure he heard that what he was hearing was correct. He heard 2 people's heavy breathing and kissing noises.

He was horrified but when he heard a loud bang against the wall and things falling he was GONE.

He speed walked out of that hallway but then he saw a dark-haired girl with dramatic eyeliner walking almost the same speed as him, looking around and saying "Where's the bathroom?!"

A guy pointed her in the direction he was just coming from, and she scurried off. He was going to warn her, but the path she made for herself went as quickly as it came.

HOBIE AND PAV'S P.O.V: "That's what it is bruv," Hobie said to a group of people he was talking to.

"Propaganda." He let his voice fade out for dramatic effect as he walked away. "Hobie Hobie Hobie!!" Pav said, running towards him almost tackling him.

"Aye, big man what's going on?!" Hobie laughed. "This party is off the hook we should go to more stuff like this!" He yelled over the booming music-He was so hyper, and his eyes were wide as hell.

"I don't believe in celebration or years- but I guess it's alright." He then sees a random bag of weed left on a table.

He snatches it before anybody else can reclaim it. "I'm gonna go smoke this, follow if you want." Hobie walks off and Pav follows soon thereafter.

They found a secluded room at the end of a hall downstairs. They open the door to see a laundry room, and a boy with box-dyed blonde hair, on his knees seemingly about to open a pill bottle.

They all freeze and look at Each other in a stare-off.

"What ya here for?" The punk said, eyebrow raised and all. "Uhhh just" the boy looks around. "uh....wall fixing purposes. What are you here for?" He hits Hobie back with that same accusatory voice.

"Smoke session." Hobie kept his answer short and simple, holding the bag up to prove it. "You wanna join?" Pav chimed in, still weary but- open to the offer.

***

They've smoked through more than half the bag already- laying on the floor, just vibing. "Gayatri doesn't even like me bro" Pav gets teary-eyed. "She is probably sleeping," Hobie says. Hobie takes the doobie from him and takes a hit

"dude how did you get your hair like that, "the random boy says. "cause, to be honest, you're making me question things," Hobie smirks at the comment. "I get that often."

He looks over at Pav again. "You good Bruv?" "Did you notice how beautiful the wall is?" Pav says looking at the plain white wall, grazing his fingers on it. He's only tried smoking once before and the whole time he just thought about Gayatri. "I think that's enough Mary Jay for you mate," The punk says while laughing, the boy follows along.

Hobie switches the subject "So- how's everybody's new year going?" "Decent." The blonde kid takes the blunt. "What...?" Pav turns to face them. "it's....fucking...new year??" Pav slowly gets up and yawns. "Yup, new year mate," Hobie says nonchalantly. Pav sighs, "Bro, y'all don't tell me anything." He puts his head down in his hands and everybody else laughs at the absurdity of his response.

"Making fun of my pain is not cool!" Pav's over-heightened emotions are getting the best of him.

MILES P.O.V:

Okay, now he really needed to find a bathroom. He found the party to be decent and didn't want to leave so he was almost determined trying to find another bathroom in that big ass house. During the mission, he ran into Gwen. "Miles!" Gwen seemed excited to see him.

"Hey." he tried to seem just as enthusiastic as her but she knew he was acting weird.

"What's wrong?" She had a concerned look on her face. "Where's the bathroom?!" He felt multiple drops of sweat dripping down his forehead.

"Oh!" She said, relieved it was nothing serious. "You could check downstairs-" She points the the right. "thank you!" Miles darts away, hoping she is right.

He followed the directions Gwen told him, going downstairs, and ended up finding a hallway that was the only one in the house not populated by humans, the door down the hall his only hope.

He jogs down the hall, the closer he gets the more he questions why there's smoke coming from the sliver of opening at the bottom.

He opens the door only to get an abundance of smoke hitting his face all at once. He coughs and attempts to swat it out of his face but It seems to not stop.

When he could finally see and breathe a good amount, his eyes widened- Pav, Hobie and this random guy turned the room into a hotbox, and it wasn't even a bathroom!

He completely forgot the urge to pee for a moment as he stood there, bewildered. Hobie turns his head and notices him. "Oi mate!" He waves and smiles, making Miles's presence known.

"Hey!" Pav said, sheepishly smiling. "Hey, I'm Elliot." The boy finally gives himself a name. "...what are You guys doing?" Miles asked.

"Just smoking skunk yeah, want some?" He offers. He was about to decline but the feeling of having to go takes over his body again.

"Do you guys know any other bathrooms around here?!" He puts his legs together. "There's one on the top floor, I could show you." He gets up and Pav follows along. "Hey, do you want the rest?" Elliot says, holding the bag up.

"Don't believe in finishing." He walks out of the room. "Bye, Elliot!" Pav happily waves and closes the door behind him.

For what felt like ages, Miles finally gets to use the bathroom. He comes out looking more than relieved. "Thank you, Hobie." "No problem." He puts his arm around his shoulder.

"Look it's 12:58!!" Pav points to the clock on the brown wall. "Don't you think it's time we get downstairs innt?" They all smirked at each other and started to go down the stairs.

They got there just in time for Gwen to find them. "Thank God I found you guys it's almost time!" She's grinning ear to ear. Everybody gathers around each other and somebody turns the music down.

"9, 8, 7,"

The four of them look at Each other, anticipating every number.

"6, 5, 4, 3,"

Their grip on each other tightened, eyes growing wider.

"2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" The whole room erupted in sound, the group jumped up and down, all of them group hugging. The music was turned up again, people were kissing, hugging, and laughing. Everybody was so happy.

That only lasted for a couple of seconds before the shattering of glass caught people's attention.

Everybody also simultaneously looked at where the sound came from and saw a red-haired man beating somebody up, it didn't take long for miles to realize the red-haired guy was the same guy he was talking to earlier in the night.

It was like the world stopped, everybody stayed silent except the people trying to break up the fight. These two girls named Maddy, whom Miles also recognized, and Cassie who tried to stop it, screamed "Fezco stop!!" But he pushed both of them off.

It took for this guy who had all black and and cornrows to stop him from almost killing the guy on the ground and even then fezco almost fought with him too.

The guy had taken off his sweater and had a white long sleeve under it, blood all over it along with his bruised knuckles.

He looked at Miles, then at another person then just walked away. People were crowding over the guy beating up, the gut that stopped the fight and the party host had to U-haul him out of the house.

".....Is it too late to say I didn't finish the first episode?" Gwen said quietly. All of them were shocked except Hobie, all he did was smile and say "Cheers to that." Before downing a shot.

[toxlink]

PAW Patrol Headcanon Oneshot: Ryder's Hatsune Miku Robot (Some doodles at the end!)

Based off of a headcanon I posted about here. I don't have an Ao3 account (yet), so this will suffice. Buckle up, this'll take a long time to read.

'Twas a night with clear, twinkly skies. It was dead quiet outside. No cars passing through the roads, no reckless teenagers outside to disrupt anyone's safety and beauty sleep. All the house lights were off, leaving only the glow of the streetlights, the quiet sound of waves, and the light breeze from the west enveloping the quaint little Adventure Bay, home to a pack of six dogs and their techy owner...

Outside the Lookout tower, in their little pup houses, peacefully slept the six mentioned puppies. The cockapoo and the labrador slept in a very polite position, the mix-breed had some very quiet music playing from his tag. The German sheperd cuddled his trusty police teddy bear, while the dalmatian and bulldog were turned on their side and back, snoring their hearts out. The yard was, of course, a mess. Dog toys everywhere one could turn. It was an cute sight, how the yard livened up by the pups during the day also falls asleep during the night, the traces of their whimsical shenanigans evident all over it.

We've brushed over on the dogs, but what about their owner? Is he also sleeping peacefully, lulled to sleep by the rare moments of peace and quiet? The short answer would be... it couldn't be further from the truth.

The bedroom was quite a mess. Not the childish "toys and clothes everywhere" kind, however. It was more office-like, with various documents scattered all across the floor. Lists of material orders, profit analyses, tax evasion plans... and quite a few crumpled and torn robot plans. In the bed, the culprit of the mess turned left and right, clearly having trouble sleeping on such a fine night. Was it because he didn't have a great plan to evade and the IRS is on his companies' tails? Or is it just so quiet it's too good to be true, and he's waiting for someone to yelp for help?

You're in luck, dear reader, because I don't feel like being cruel to our exhausted heroes this time. Adventure City is hosting a big robot contest, where everyone can show off their amazing robotic creations. The deadline is in three weeks, and Ryder hasn't got the first clue as to what to make. Everything he thought about making was either already thought of by someone else or he already made it. He had been looking forward to it for so long, yet with all the missions and company management he had to do, he had no time to stop and think of something to create.

Frustrated by the whole thing, Ryder sat up, his face showing groggy frustration. He turned left to look at the time on his nightstand clock:

"2:46AM" glowed straight back at him in weak red light. Groaning, he plopped backwards down on the mattress. Great, now that he saw the time he won't be able to fall back asleep any easier.

"Maybe I should skip this year's contest," he thought to himself. Yeah, maybe that's for the best. He pulled the weighed blanket over his body again, and closed his eyes. "Let's think of something else. Pups' shenanigans... ATV tweening... Ooh Hatsune Miku..."

"Hatsune Miku... Hatsune Miku... Now why exactly her..."

Then his eyes darted open, his body snapping up in a standing position not even a second later. This is it. His Eureka moment.

"MIKU ROBOT."

Welp, guess there won't be contest skipping after all.

The peace and quiet outside the lookout tower quickly got disrupted by loud stomping and giggling. The door of the garage opened, before closing with a not-so-quiet slam. This jolted up the cockapoo and the sheperd. Considering they're the oldest members and most mature, they take any suspicious noise seriously.

Alerted but still only half-awake, Skye stumbled over to the blue pup house. "What was that?" She asked with a yawn, her magenta eyes worryingly staring up at the latter. "Sounded like the garage," Chase replied, already fully awake, "Let's go sneak up to them through the elevator." And so, he snuck up under Skye to carry her on his back, running in while she is still starting up.

The sight that awaited them in the garage was quite... interesting. Ryder was moving the ATV away while he muttered to himself excitedly, grinning ear-to-ear. Once he did, he excitely pranced back, before flinching away with with an ear-piercing screech. In turn, the pups screeched back, leaning back as if they're written in italic.

"...Why are you two awake?" Ryder recovered, a blush on his cheeks. He was caught talking to himself and acting like a high school girl with a crush. "You woke us up. Why are you awake?" Skye inquired, sitting down. Chase followed in her stead, tilting his head: "And what's with the lab coat?" "Don't worry about it," the boy replied, "I finally decided on what to make for that contest, so I just need to start up the crucial parts. Now, go to sleep, it's very late and it's not good for your growth." What a hypocrite. "Don't stay too long in here," Chase regarded as the two stood up, turning to leave as they exchanged goodnights.

"It's been two days, what is he doing?" The smoke-spotted dalmatian asked others as they all gathered in front of the garage door. The younger four listened to the noises curiously while the older two just stared in disappointment, having realized long ago that their owner did not heed their advice. Suddenly, the building noises stopped. A few seconds later, they were replaced by that familiar excited manical laughter.

Suddenly, the garage doors slowly opened up. The pups all stared up in awe, even Chase and Skye couldn't be disappointed. In front of them stood a 7ft tall woman. Blue hair, blue tie, (HIDING IN YOUR WI-FI) with magenta hairclips contrasting her mostly monotone look. Her hair reached her shins, yet it remained untangled (Miku cosplayers, be jealous). On her sleeves and skirt were all the things one would see on equalizers or DJ equipment, and her left shoulder has 01 stamped on. They couldn't believe their eyes. That japanese robot singer, head to toe, in front of them. She slowly tilted her head down, her blue eyes and soft smile staring down at them.

"Pups!" A very tired and disheveled, but very excited Ryder popped up behind her, the disappointment on the oldest ones' faces coming back. It was obivous he was dead tired, the dark eyebags, the wobbly stance, the shaky hands from all the energy drinks he consumed... "Look what I made for the contest!"

"Woah!!" Rocky's eyes sparkled. He had never seen a robot so well-made, so human-like. It was so intriguing. Marshall and Rubble's jaws were dropped, never thinking that their dear Vocaloid singer could become real. "Dude, this is so cool!!" Zuma commented. He wasn't invested in either robots or singing robot girls from Japan, but he knows an awesome thing when he sees one.

"Can we hear her sing?!" Rubble asked excitedly, his and Marshall's tails wagging uncontrollably. Ryder chuckled sheepishly, as if caught guilty. "I haven't exactly gotten around to getting accustomed to the Vocaloid system. So, until I do..."

"Arf, arf!" A robotic bark escaped Miku's lips. "Robo-dog???" The pups exclaimed in unison, not expecting that. "Yes, Robo-dog's system runs Miku," Ryder replied sheepishly as his words started getting sluggish, "And he'll keep on running it. But until I get the hang of the Vocaloid program, we'll keep on hearing Robo-dog's barking. It shouldn't take me long to... grasp it..." Ryder was soon losing stability. He then proceeded leaning to fall right on the concrete. Gasping, the pups all hurdled in front of him so he could fall on their little bodies. But instead, Miku grabbed him by his armpits. She then methodically picked him up, cradling the exhausted boy in her arms. The pups sighed in relief, before Chase let out an order. "Robo-dog- ...uhh, Miku. Take Ryder to his bed. I'll call Katie. She needs to give him a stern talking..." With another bark, Miku proceeded to walk to the elevator. Considering her legs are very long, she ate the distance up very quickly.

"Okay, but can she play the existing songs?!" Rubble asked, but he knew he won't be getting an answer this time.

The three weeks rolled by quickly, and what do you know? All the local newspaper sites online talked about the contest, and the astounding Hatsune Miku that Ryder made sure came to life. He was banned from competing again, however. Gotta give others a chance.

⬆️ Here's a very tired and sorry attempt of their victory photo. I wrote all this for two hours non-stop, straight on the posting tab. Also, here's a tiny concept doodle I made in January, but switch the 5'1" with 5'4". It's blurry because it's dark and I used the flash⬇️

[juceynightmare]

would you ever be interested in writing a little darby allin fic?

you caught me writing a songfic oneshot for darby because i love my crazy man LMAOO (thinking about when he lit a couch in fire and dragged it around his yard with this atv or whatever tf that thing was LMAOO)

[ghostdnfie]

3 5 12 for the ask game!

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

omg definitely this dnf hurt/comfort oneshot i wrote last november! if u remember things were quite shitty then in this fandom and it was touching seeing ppl saying that it was healing bc thats also how i felt when i wrote it ;-;

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

i got some nice comments (both on here and ao3) on this dnf crack treated seriously fic that was using a trope from the list of reverse tropes (too many beds, supposed to be a parody of there was only one bed lmao). humour is definitely my thing when writing/reading so i was glad it made ppl laugh.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

Oh wow quite a few 😭 the notable dnf ones include: an unethical final shift one, a concussion fic (inspired by sapnap saying someone got a concussion when the atv flipped over or smth), gnf in lingerie fic (that i wrote out of spite bc of the ppl getting mad about fem george lmao), and another where dream and george have a child and she comes out to them as a trans girl. if i get my shit together i might possibly finish them.

i also have some finished ones that i never posted, i might change my mind one day tho. (one was a t4t dnf hurt/comfort and another was a smut where george tells dream hes a side so they do non penetrative stuff lmao. i didnt post either bc i thought they were too short but tbh some ppl like under 1k oneshots so maybe i'll post them at some point.)

also have a sister daniel phan wip bc lets just say she brought the rare heterosexual side of me that only comes out once in a blue moon 💀

[ao3feed-spuffy]

Hole in My Pocket

by Willow25

Oneshot, crossover with AtVS Season 5, post-ep for The Girl in Question. Almost one year post Chosen, Spike and Buffy connect and decide what's next for them.

Words: 3543, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of The FAA-Verse

Fandoms: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M, Gen

Characters: Buffy Summers, Spike (BtVS)

Relationships: Spike/Buffy Summers

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/46936063

[the-irish-mayhem]

This is a series of short, unrelated vignettes/oneshots that was supposed to be posted for Fosterson Week a year or two ago and I finally got around to finishing it. Enjoy!

5 Universes In Which Jane Is Worthy and 1 Where She Isn’t

Read on AO3

1.

On the top ten list of bad ideas she’s ever had, this is so, so, so bad the number one spot doesn’t even seem adequate. The guy who thought he was Thor clearly got caught trying to get her stuff back, and so she is  so  screwed unless she goes in herself. God, why did she go along with this again? He’d claimed he’d fly out once he got what he was looking for (which,  god , again, why had she kind of believed him?)

Her feet crunch quietly against the hard-packed sand leading to the hole in the plastic tarping making up the walls of the facility that Thor had kicked a guy through, and she, without nearly as much hesitation as she should probably feel, hops in.

The place isn’t huge, and it doesn’t take long for Jane to find the main room.

Thor had helpfully drawn nearly everyone in security away from where her equipment is stowed, next to a… hammer in the dirt. Literally, they built this entire site around a hammer? What the  hell , archaeologists never get this much funding and government attention. And what does her equipment have to do with it?

Jane shakes herself. She has a lot more important things to do instead of trying to puzzle out the weird and wild workings of shady government agencies. Things like capitalizing on their inattentiveness and getting her gear back.

She grabs her notebook first, stuffing it into her back pocket, and then trying to figure out how she’s going to cart out at least two hundred or so pounds of equipment.

“Hey!”

Jane nearly leaps out of her skin and turns, seeing a pair of security guards sprinting towards her from one of the halls.

“Shit,” she spits, and frantically looks around at her equipment. Lightest and hardest to replace… Radio spectrometer retrofitted for wormholes. Yep, that one. She scoops it up in her arms and takes off.

Even running as quickly as she can, the guards are still within arm’s length of her before she’s taken five steps.

Oh, they are not taking her work. Absolutely not. Erik isn’t here to hold her back this time.

She reaches an arm out, barely managing to hold onto her spectrometer as she grasps the handle of the hammer. Old or valuable, the thing is still a hammer, she can still swing at them with it.

A crack of thunder. A blinding flash of light. The feeling of grabbing a live-wire running through her body for a handful of terrifying seconds until the euphoria comes.

If she be worthy , she hears.

May she possess the power of Thor.

Oh, Jane thinks.

Oh,  fuck .

 2.

“No, I don’t know what… That’s why I’m coming out here to… Look, all the issues with our readings at the site are originating from this one spot, so yeah, I’m going to go take a look,” Jane says into the phone.

“Who is it?” Darcy whispers. Their truck rumbles along a remote road in Norway leading to the coast, and the interference from their mystery site makes it so they don’t get any radio stations, so Darcy is starved for entertainment.

Jane covers the mouthpiece and whispers back, “Caplan. He’s--” she uncovers the mouthpiece. “No, there’s not any danger. You--no… No… Wait, but that time wasn’t actually my fault, so…”

“Being a dick again?”

Jane’s eyeroll is all the answer required. “Look, we’ll be ba-- in--” Jane makes an almost comical crackling noise in the back of her throat. “Wha-- interference from the-- thr-- breaking up--bye.” She hangs up without any further discussion.

Darcy contains a laugh. “You’re gonna pay for that later, you know.”

Jane rolls her eyes again. “Well, it’s my being at his facility that’s even getting him funding in the first place, so, you know.” She shrugs. “If he wants to fight me, I’m the one with more published papers and theories that changed the laws of physics.”

Darcy pumps a fist. “Fuck yeah.”

She waves a hand. “He’ll be fine. He’s pissed we took the Mule without asking.” Where they plan on going, there’s no vehicle access, so the ATV was their only recourse. “If he thinks I’ll be satisfied with this one spot fucking up my results over and over again, he’s got another thing coming. Speaking of which,” the device that rests in Jane’s lap begins to ping, “pull over here.”

“Woo, off-road time,” Darcy cheers, and follows Jane’s instructions.

Another hour of driving in the Mule later, they reach the geographic nexus that’s been screwing with their readings.

It’s a pretty spot, bright green grass running all the way to the edge of the cliff, where a sheer drop would land them in the ocean. Norway’s fjords are always breathtaking, and Darcy counts herself lucky yet again that she gets to visit places like this and get paid for it. All in all, a pretty rad job.

“Can you set up--”

“Magnetic perimeter and radiation scanners?” Darcy finishes. “Yeah.”

Darcy unloads the equipment from the back of the ATV as Jane approaches the nexus.

It looks like a storm is beginning to swirl overhead, and Darcy eyes it nervously. Without any cover, they are pretty much sitting ducks if any rain starts to fall, god forbid if lightning starts. Where the hell did all these thunderheads come from? This blew in awfully fast.

Jane crouches down and reaches for something on the ground. “Darcy, you should come look at this,” she calls out. 

Quite suddenly, the hair on the back of Darcy’s neck stands straight up. The sensation is so strong and sudden that it literally causes her to gasp in shock.

“Jane--” she starts but she doesn’t get the chance to finish.

Faster than the blink of an eye, a massive bolt of lightning tears from the sky, slicing straight down to where Jane kneels.

Darcy barely has time to scream.

She is thrown backwards by the force of the lightning strike, and she thinks she hears a voice whisper before she hits the ground behind her.

If she be worthy.

When she looks up again, she knows she hears it.

A strange woman stands where Jane once was--massive, tall, blonde, with impressive armor and Mjolnir in her fist.

May she possess the power of Thor.

 3.

Fragile isn’t a word that could ever have been used to describe Jane Foster, but with her cheekbones hollowed out by weight loss, neck and wrists gone skinny and tendons standing out against her skin in sharp relief, fragile almost seems generous. A plastic band wraps around her wrist, stamped with her name, attending physician, allergies, and a barcode encoded with all her patient information.

She is tired, often, but with Darcy’s help still manages to go through her research and rough out an outline for her next paper she plans to publish.

Jane likes to plan, likes to say things like there’s a conference next September that this paper will do really well at, and Jane knows that Darcy is trying to hide her heartbreak at these statements. Darcy used to not hide anything from her, used to barely have the capacity, let alone the desire, but it’s strange the effect dying can have.

Her hospital room is outfitted with several whiteboards scribbled over with notes and formulae, the answers Jane constantly seeks waiting to be pried out of the clutches of the equations she can spend hours puzzling over. It’s a good use of her time, when she’s not--

Elsewhere.

Jane is careful to hide the hammer. It’s her secret legacy, her last hurrah, her hidden responsibility and duty--

Mjolnir is many things to her, but burdensome is certainly not one of them.

She swings her legs over the side of her bed, gripping her IV pole to help her stand. She walks over to the window, where the sunlight of the early afternoon has been shrouded over by storm clouds. She slides open her window, the cool wind of the storm washing over her face.

In the distance, she hears the rumble of thunder.

Jane Foster smiles.

 4.

His axe is buried in Thanos’s chest, and there’s a blinding moment of what feels like sour vengeance--so many have died already, and now the Mad Titan will perish for his crimes.

He presses the blade of Stormbreaker in further, for Loki, for Heimdall, for every one of his slaughtered people.

Then Thanos whispers, “You should’ve gone for the head.”

And he feels his heart drop.

And then, and suddenly as Thor himself had dropped from the sky, another streak of lightning blazes in from the east, and Thor can feel it--  Mjolnir .

But how?

He can’t even tell who is wielding it until the hammer smashes Thanos’s skull in, and the Mad Titan is finally felled. The Infinity Gauntlet drops, the stones unused, the universe saved.

The woman holding Mjolnir is tall, with shining armor that looks well-crafted, including a helmet that hides the upper half of her face. In spite of that, he can see her eyes.

Eyes he would know anywhere in the galaxy.

She looks almost as stunned as he is.

“Jane?”

 5.

The cell phone footage is grainy and difficult to make out. Shot by a civilian in Garching, Germany, the shaky video peeks at the action from behind a brick wall. A voice out of frame whispers,  “Dude, I think it’s Thor!”  and is quickly hushed by the one holding the camera.  So at least two more witnesses to track down,  Natasha thinks tiredly.

The observation, though, is rather striking in its accuracy. The figure has a red cape and flowing blonde hair, and displays a command of lightning that Natasha hasn’t seen since Thor more-or-less retired after their last showdown with Thanos.

The opponents are a small gaggle of aliens, impossible to fully make out but probably more scavengers who’d come to pick the bones of Thanos’s last battlefield. In the two years since the Snap, they’d been getting a steadier stream of extraterrestrial threats looking to take advantage of Earth’s vulnerability.

“How is it that we have holographic video technology widely available, but every civilian who has useful intel has a Nokia from 2004?” Natasha grumbles, squinting and trying again in vain to enhance the footage.

From her place next to her, Okoye chuckles. “I think we’ve demonstrated that we have the worst luck imaginable,” she jokes darkly.

The figure is still hard to make out aside from the gaudy cape and lightning. The electricity in the air made the audio on the video spotty at best, mostly static and a few loud bursts of accurate recordings of a fight, but mostly useless. Then a few video frames give them a clear view of the front of the figure.

“Pause,” Natasha says, sitting forward in her chair. “Go back three frames?” The computer obeys her voice command, ticking back to the moment when they had the best view.

Both Okoye and Natasha freeze as they take in the image.

There’s a shard of disappointment that goes through Natasha when she realizes, once and for all, that it definitely isn’t Thor. That disappointment turns swiftly into suspicion because she does not know this person, and they certainly have powers that would’ve landed them at the top of a SHIELD watchlist back in the day.

It’s a woman. She’s massive, arms and legs thick with muscle, and extensive armor that could be Asgardian make, but with the graininess of the video, it’s hard to tell. Her helmet covers almost her entire face, only exposing her mouth and jaw. Some sort of chainmail on her legs, perhaps, and a sleeve on her left arm. Her right arm is bare, and clutched in that hand--

“Mjolnir,” Natasha breathes.

“I thought it was destroyed,” Okoye says.

Natasha nods. “We all did.”

Despite the video quality, there’s no mistaking that hammer. Especially when Natasha resumes the video and the mysterious woman throws the hammer, and it returns to her hand moments later.

“We haven’t seen any new powered people since the Snap,” Okoye says, breaking the silence. “With our…  situation  being what it is,” she continues, tactfully calling the mess they’d made of the world a  situation , “we should either ascertain if this woman is on our side, get her on our side, or terminate her as soon as possible.”

Natasha nods in quiet contemplation. They cannot afford to have a powered person running around the world unchecked, not with the way things are. They’re barely managing to hold it together as it is, and the Avengers are spread extremely thin. Not to mention their help is often rejected in an official capacity, a lionshare of the blame for what happened falling to the World’s Greatest Heroes who failed to save the world. It’s a PR nightmare, and there are many nights when Natasha wishes that she’d just been dusted along with the half of the world who didn’t make it.

But she didn’t. She’s still here, and someone needs to lead.

“Want me to track down Thor and ask him about her?” Okoye says. “Based on her strength from that video, she’s probably Asgardian.”

Natasha’s kneejerk reaction is to say no, that Thor can’t handle this, that he’s been in an almost constant state of inebriation and/or depression for the last two years and she won’t expose her friend to something that might be painful for him. Then her rational mind kicks in and she nods at Okoye. Thor is their best lead. “I’ll come with you.” (Then her vicious mind raises its hackles and says if she’s got to wade into the shit that is the post-Snap world, then Thor should have to get right into it with her.)

That night, the evening news features a story with the grainy footage Natasha could’ve sworn she’d managed to scrub from everywhere (but alas, she is no Vision.) The ticker at the bottom of the screen reads The New Thor: Who is she, and can we trust her?

***

They find him at a hightop table in a hole-in-the-wall bar in New Asgard, and if Natasha had been serving him, she probably would’ve cut him off at least four drinks ago, but the bartender doesn’t seem concerned with denying their monarch his alcoholic solace.

“Do I need to go get Brunnhilde?” Okoye whispers to Natasha.

Thor sways in his barstool, hands clasped around a large stein of beer, but seems coherent enough to answer their questions.

“Not yet.”

“Wha--?” Thor mumbles, eyes half-lidded. “What’re you saying?” His words are disturbingly slurred. Maybe getting Brunnhilde wouldn’t be a bad idea.

Natasha refocuses. “Have you watched the news recently?”

Thor snorts and takes a drink of beer. And doesn’t stop taking a drink of beer until the stein is half-empty. Natasha’s eyes widen when he lets out a loud belch.

“Apologies,” he says, not sounding apologetic, “but you’ll have to excuse me for not keeping up with current events.”

Okoye cuts in, “How about this current event?

She slides a set of photos out of a manila envelope, laying them down on the bar table. The paper sticks to the surface of the table.

Thor shakes his head once, as if trying to rein in the spinning the room is likely doing around him. He leans down and squints at the photos. “That--” He cocks his head. “That isn’t me.”

“No,” Okoye confirms. “It isn’t.”

“These photos were taken two days ago in Garching, Germany. Know of any Asgardians who settled there?”

Thor swallows, and doesn’t immediately answer. He raises his free hand not on his beer to the photos, and the tip of his middle finger drags over where Mjolnir is inked onto the paper. “I thought it was gone,” he mumbles.

“So did we,” Natasha says, tempted to reach out to him at the abject sadness in his voice.

Okoye slants a glance at Natasha.  Focus , she seems to say with her eyes, before redirecting Thor, “Are there any Asgardians in Germany?”

“A few,” he says. “None that look like this woman.” He looks up at them. “Do you know how she found Mjolnir?”

It’s his most coherent question yet. Natasha shakes her head. “We just found out about her. She looks pretty confident with it, so maybe she’s been training somewhere.”

“I don’t underst--” Thor loses his battle with his balance and gravity and falls off his barstool. Natasha and Okoye both reach out to steady him, but he manages to catch himself before he hits the floor.

Natasha goes to Thor’s side, her heart falling quickly as she puts an arm around him. It’s hard to see Thor like this, especially knowing the kind of man he used to be. (Of all the people she thought would stick with her, after Clint and Steve left, she thought that Thor would be the one to stay. He’d fought through so much heartache, sided with them in New York against his own brother, protected the Earth from the Dark Elves after his mother’s murder, faced down Thanos even after his planet had been destroyed, and yet he’d always been ready to fight. It’s downright unnatural, utterly tragic to see him laid so low.)

Turning to Okoye, Natasha says, “Go get Brunnhilde.” Okoye doesn’t need to be told twice.

“Thor,” Natasha prompts, getting the man to look at her. His eyes look pained. She’s sure hers must reflect his. “You’ve gotta stop this.”

“Stop what?” he mumbles.

“You know what.” She hesitates before offering, “You could come back, you know. Join the Avengers again. I really could use the help, and you’ve got more experience leading than everyone else on the team combined.”

He’s already shaking his head. “No.” Clear, concise, and completely at odds with his drunkenness. “No, I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

His answering smile is sad. “I have nothing left to offer you.”

“Yes, you do,” Natasha answers softly, but based on his tone, this isn’t an argument she’s going to win. Not today, at least.

A beat passes. “You really didn’t know about Mjolnir?” she asks, one more time.

“I’m not worthy anymore,” he whispers. “Why would it call to me?”

Natasha doesn’t answer that. There’s a lot of layers there that she doesn’t think she’ll ever fully understand.

Okoye returns with Brunnhilde at her side. She says to Okoye, “You know, sometime you’re going to have to visit me when it’s not for the purposes of picking his sorry ass up off the floor.”

Okoye chuckles. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Brunnhilde proceeds to pick Thor up in a bridal carry, making Natasha stumble a bit when his weight is no longer against her. “Come on, your majesty,” she says, tone almost bored. “Let’s get you home.”

Natasha bites her tongue against all the questions she wants to ask.

How often do you do this for him?

How is everyone around here blind to what’s happening to him?

Where on earth is he getting enough alcohol to regularly get drunk?

Before she can even think of pursuing another line of questioning, she gets a call from Carol--she is needed urgently back at headquarters.

She sighs. The hunt for the new Thor will have to wait for now.

***

It’s only once Natasha and Okoye are on a quinjet and flying back to their base that Brunnhilde unceremoniously drops Thor on the ground.

He huffs, but quickly stands up and brushes himself off, perfectly sober. “Unnecessary.”

She glares at him. “How long are you going to keep this act up?” she demands. “Those are your  friends .”

“Natasha is a friend,” Thor corrects, “Okoye thinks I’m a worthless drunk.”

Brunnhilde rolls her eyes. “Because she’s never known you as anything else.”

He grits his teeth. “It’s for the best.”

“That’s what you keep telling yourself, but they  know  about her. What’s your act doing to keep her safe now?”

The muscle in Thor’s jaw works furiously, but he calmly answers, “They don’t know her identity. They think she’s a rogue Asgardian.”

Brunnhilde bristles and brusquely pulls a folded manila envelope out of her back pocket. “Okoye gave these to me, said to ask you about them again when you sobered up.” She quickly opens the envelope and tears its contents out and holds them right in his face. The edges of the photo paper crease under the force of her fingers clenching down on them. “You see this? The better she gets, the more this is going to happen. And you know what’s eventually going to happen?” She jerks her head backwards. “Your friends are going to find her. She’s on a crash course, and then she will be a part of this. You can’t stop that. It was a fantasy to think you ever could.”

“I didn’t think I could keep her from it forever,” Thor replies evenly, and he wraps his fingers around Brunnhilde’s wrist and lowers the photos from his face so he can look her in the eye.

“Then  why ?” she asks.

“Because she needs to be better than me,” he says, like a release of steam from a pot. “She needs to be better, and she’s not yet.”

Brunnhilde shakes her head. “I don’t know if you’re going to get a choice for much longer.

   and the one time…

“Jane.”

His shoulder jumps under her head.

“Hm?”

“We’re almost there.”

“Oh,” she says groggily, and pushes herself off Thor’s shoulder. “Oops,” she says when she notices the spot of drool on his shirt. “Sorry.” The weird half-sleep that comes along with car rides is slow to depart, clawing at her eyelids until she reaches to her right, where a bottle of water sits.

After she downs half the bottle and truly wakes up, he gives her a soft smile, one that says he probably wasn’t far behind her in terms of falling asleep. “It’s no matter. I thought you’d want to be awake before we arrived.”

She stretches her hands over her head as much as the towncar’s roof allows, and a series of satisfying pops go down her spine. She grunts in satisfaction before saying, “I need to go over my speech one more time.”

“I’m fairly certain  I  could give it at this point with how many times I’ve heard it.”

“You’re a good person to practice with!”

“I’m only teasing,” he says. “And besides, this is hardly your first time doing this.”

“This still feels bigger, somehow.” 

He makes a soft sound of agreement. Jane offers the water to him, which he accepts and drinks his fill before capping it and setting it aside.

Jane continues, “It’s one thing to get, you know, a big science award. Like, the last time I got the Nobel I felt almost old hat at it, you know?”

Thor gives her a look. “I recall you saying that you felt like you were going to throw up before you went onstage to give your speech.”

Jane flaps her hand at him. “Okay, sure I was nervous, but I was….used to the shape of it? This is a completely different type of thing.”

“Yes, excelling at heroics is something you usually leave to me.”

“Hey, I have plenty of behind the scenes heroics!”

“Of course, dear,” he says with a laugh, “but none of those behind the scenes heroics resulted in a singlehanded defeat of the Infinity Stones, handicapping Thanos’s plan, and saving untold lives.”

Jane tilts her head back onto the headrest, a smile spreading across her face. That day, that last fight that Strange predicted would end in only one way, would be permanently emblazoned in her memory as long as she lived. Thor had asked her to stay away from the battlefield, and initially, she’d agreed. She and Tony had been theorizing about the nature of the stones, and they hadn’t had time to parse out the quantum entanglement theories together before her thinking buddy had to jet off to try and save the universe.

It came to her like a lightning strike only minutes after the team had left for the last battle. She’d built a frequency jammer that would disrupt the quantum entanglement of the stones in thirty minutes flat, and then raced out of the Avengers compound like a bat out of hell. She’d just have to get within range of the stones, and they’d be rendered inert, their effects immediately reversed, and they’d just be ordinary stones, and then they could be destroyed.

And, incredibly, even though the science of it was shaky at best, and she’d had to improvise on the fly when some of the wiring on the jammer had shorted out, it worked.

The army from the past was gone, snapped back to their original chronological configuration; Natasha and Gamora were spat out of whatever pocket universe they’d been trapped in; and Tony hadn’t had to use his gauntlet, hadn’t had to sacrifice himself for the universe as she’d  known  he’d planned on.

(Dr. Strange had sputtered, shocked, saying that of the fourteen million six hundred and five futures he’d seen, he’d only seen one possible outcome where they won, and it wasn’t this.

Jane shrugged, breathless, dirty, bloody, and grinned. “I found number fourteen million six hundred and  six .”)

“And all without a single power to her name aside from her intellect,” he finishes.

“I am pretty cool.”

“Both pretty and cool, much agreed.”

She lets her head fall to the side so she can look at him. His beard is long enough to be braided, and he’d done so this morning, and he’d taken care to braid some of his hair as well before pulling it back with a tie. He looked good. Great. Amazing, even.

She reached out her hand closest to him, trailing a finger along one of the braids in his beard. A streetlight from outside catches on her wedding ring just so.

After the Snap, she and Thor had drifted back together, partially out of shared grief and guilt, but had ultimately rediscovered why they’d worked together for years before the distance had become too much strain. They’d officially tied the knot a few years after Tony and Pepper had. (Steve had been Thor’s best man, and Darcy Jane’s maid of honor. Tony walked Jane down the aisle in Jane’s mother’s absence. Morgan had been their flower girl.) 

She wonders if any of this would’ve happened if they hadn’t found each other again. If they hadn’t rekindled their love for each other in the horrible aftermath of the Snap, would she have been around to help? Would Tony have reached out to her with the time travel issue? Would he have invited her to collaborate on the quantum entanglement of the stones if she hadn’t re-integrated herself into the Avengers circle? She likes to think so--they were friends, at least somewhat, before the Snap (but their closeness now was only formed in those last five years of wounded peace.)

“What are you thinking about?” Thor asks, and mirrors her position so he can look at her.

“Just that I’m really glad I married you.” She nudges forward so she can kiss him. “Really, really glad.”

“I’m glad you married me, too,” he answers. “Not many women would have had the fortitude to put up with me for as long as you have.”

She grabs his hand and pulls it over to her lap. “How many people did Pepper say were going to be here?”

Thor shrugs. “Less than two thousand, but there is the webcast as well.”

“ God .”

He squeezes her hand. “Go through your speech once more. It’ll make you feel better.”

“I’d feel better if we could skip past the ceremony and go right to the drinking and partying portion of the evening.”

Thor laughed. “If only I were planning the evening, Jane Foster. Now start from the top.”

Jane laughs, and closes her eyes. With her husband’s hand in hers, his warmth a steady reassurance at her side, she recalls the words she’s memorized and feels her nervousness retreat as she begins to speak.

[hunter-the-sad-skeleton]

Random Tanksona oneshot thingy(I don’t know either)

Under the read more for swearing, Dick jokes, obscene words/references, and bomb mention. Hope y’all enjoy the random oneshot thingy! ^^

Double-Trouble paced the floor of the ATV he was stationed in. It was making its way to a site that had requested his crew’s assistance, and as such, he needed to watch over the execution of it all.

He stepped out as he reached the site, coming across a motley crew of three tankmen.

He facepalmed. He vaguely recognized the captain of the crew. If he knew him well enough, he’d say it in three...two...one…

“Dick joke!” DT grimaced. THIS WOULD BE A ONE-TIME ALLIANCE.

“Now is not the time, Captain John.” DT scowled.

“Right, right. So, uh, still got those limb enhancers? Or have ya grown past 3 foot 8 inches?” John taunted maliciously.

“YOU CALLED US OUT HERE FOR A REASON, BONEHEAD.” DT growled.

“Right. Uh, there’s an enemy zeppelin that’s kinda invading our space...Couldja helps us take it down?” John explained.

DT sighed, looking at the enemy in question. Oh. Yeah, that-that definitely requires help to take down.

“Look, if it’s too difficult, L'amour, I can handle it myself.” John huffed.

DT shook his head, getting up in John’s face. “LISTEN HERE YOU STÜCK ABFALL, IF YOU EVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN, YOU’LL BE SKINNED SO WELL THAT A PEELED ONION WILL GIVE OFF MORE FRICTION THAN YOU.” DT warned.

John nodded shakily, face darkening slightly.

“Is it just that?” DT asked.

John knew he was playing Blackjack with the Devil, but maybe he could score 13. “Well, there’s one other thing you could help with-”

“JOHN.” DT smiled crazily, slowly turning to look him dead in the eyes, pin-pricks for pupils.

“Yeah?” John squeaked, already knowing he scored an 11.

“IF YOU DO NOT CEASE AND DESIST,” DT tilted his head, bones cracking slightly. “I WILL MAKE POTTERY OUT OF YOUR BONES.”

John nodded swiftly, shaking out of his skin. DT nodded, returning to normal.

“Cap, are you okay?” Steve asked.

John chuckled nervously. “Let’s just do what he needs us to…!” He started shaking slightly.

DT looked it over, nodding and grabbing something from his backpack and grabbing John’s hand.

“Uh...Not to be rude, man, but we’ve already tried handguns, they didn’t make a dent.” John informed.

DT looked at him, face blank as a fresh canvas. “John, when did I say this was a handgun?”

“Wait, what?” John asked.

DT pulled the trigger and a grappling hook launched out and hooked on.

“WAIT, NO, HOLD ON-” John started, holding onto DT for dear life as they were launched onboard.

“MON COEUR! MON COEUR, AMOUR, MON PAUVRE VIEIL COEUR!” John wheezed.

“WHAT DID I SAY, WET SOCK?” DT grinned maliciously. “NEVER CALL YOU THAT AGAIN.” John grinned shakily.

DT patted him on the head in a condescending manner. “Good little Easy Bake Oven.” DT smiled.

John followed DT, wheezing as he was forced to a stop. “What the He-” John started.

“Where’s the guards?” DT asked.

“What?”

“Where are the guards?”

“What do you mean?”

“We haven’t encountered any guards.”

“That’s...Suspicious.”

“Yeah...Almost like it’s-”

“A TRAP.” The two said in unison.

“Well darn, I coulda SWORN…” John mumbled.

“Wait...John, this appeared a while away from your team, right?” DT asked.

“Yeah, why…” John trailed off as realization hit.

“Well...Sh-” John started.

“-ut up!” Steve chuckled.

The crew laughed while waiting for their captains to return from the mission, not worried about the time it was taking.

John paced, thinking everything through. “Okay, uh, we need to evacuate everyone!”

DT rolled his eyes, looking at the console. Inside, he found something with a timer attached to it. “Well scallop my potatoes and call me a country dinner.” DT sighed.

“What? What is it?” John asked.

“I found something.” DT said.

“What? A guard? A person? ANY FORM OF HUMAN CONTACT?” John asked sporadically.

Hunter hefted the object out. “A bomb.”

And then he screamed like a kettle on helium and crack and was out like a light. Nice work, Captain John.

DT sighed, dragging him closer and getting to work on diffusing it.

“Leave it to Captain John to leave all the work to someone else.” DT grumbled.

“Leave it to Captain John to not do any work.” DT mumbled.

John had regained consciousness a few minutes ago, but he didn’t move. He didn’t want to.

“Captain John the fearless! WHO PROMPTLY SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL SCOUT AND FAINTS AFTER SEEING A SIMPLE BOMB.” DT grumbled.

John hid a flinch.

“CAPTAIN JOHN THE WAR HERO WHO LAUGHS AT CHILDREN, WHO IS A BIG OLD PUSSY, WHO MAKES DICK JOKES ON THE CLOCK, WHO IS SO THICK-SKULLED THAT HE CAN’T SEE THAT I KNOW THAT HE’S FUCKING AWAKE RIGHT NOW AND JUST LISTENING IN ON MY VENTING!!!” DT growled.

John gulped quietly. He tried not to start shaking.

DT sighed, knowing that he’d regret his decision. “Captain John, who can’t see that I think he’s kinda neat.”

John sprang up. “YouthinkI’mneat?” He asked eagerly.

DT frowned. “How long?”

“About five minutes…” John admitted.

“Not for that.” DT sighed.

“Heh?” John asked, confused.

“You sprang up as soon as I said you were neat.” DT sighed. “How long?”

John quickly got it and he started looking around the room for points of interest. “Don-Don’t you have a like, bomb to diffuse?” John stumbled over his words.

“I can talk while doing that.” DT said, resuming the diffusion.

“We-Well, uh…” John stuttered.

“Cute stutter by the way.” DT complimented.

WELL, JOHN’S DEAD.

“Come on, Cap. Let’s move.”

“Wait, I thought you were diffusing it-” John started.

“What? No! That’s not extra enough! I set it to blow in the amount of time it’d take for us to jump out.” DT scoffed, grabbing him by the hand and running out.

DT jumped out, curling around John and hitting the ground below, unrolling, John landing safely.

“Holy Shit…! That was awesome!” John wheezed.

DT nodded, lying on his back.

After a while, DT recovered at least a little bit, having broken his left arm and a leg from the fall. “Hey, uh, thanks for, uh, coming in clutch back there.” John thanked.

“No prob, man.” DT shrugged.

John chuckled. “Ya know what this calls for?” John grinned smugly.

DT rolled his eyes. “A dick jo-” John started falling silent as DT gently gave him a quick smooth on the cheek and heading off back to his home-base.

John stood in the same place, dead silent, dead still, for a while. A few hours.

“Cap, are you okay?” Steve asked, worried.

“...We need to get in danger more often.” John said.