#attraction and is possibly aplspec <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[corelliaxdreaming]

people who make detailed posts and pride flag trees and happily have a dozen or more identities, orientations, and microlabels to describe themselves, my absolute beloveds

[bilesproblems]

Quick points to hit:

1. Yes I have the exorsexism essay, I am gonna finish that before I start this, but might as well plan this at least

2. I am qualified to talk on this subject because of course I'm a lunian, bi lesbian, ply lesbian, omni lesbian, and thalassic (neptunic lesbian) but also I am asexual, absexual (microlabel for absolutely no sexual attraction), demiromantic, and apresromantic, possibly aplspec and other atertiary stuff if I would get around to exploring that side of attraction, so I am part of both communities. Not only does that mean I'm not speaking over communities I don't belong to, but it also means I face both forms of discrimination and can say that they're both similar.

3. I did not go through aspec discourse because I was convinced to not identify as ace when I was younger and ace discourse was big. However, I do feel the effects of our community having lost so much culture because of discourse having resulted in so much destruction. I would absolutely love for a survivor of ace discourse to be a guest writer for this essay, to give a better perspective on the kind of popular rhetoric at the time.

4. I will not make a point similar to "oH jUSt sWitCh tHe wORdS" because I think that's a fundamentally stupid argument. Yes you can take "bi 'lesbians' are just bi people trying to be special and invade the lesbian community" and switch"bi lesbian" with ace, "bi people" with straight people, and "the lesbian community" with "the lgbt community" and it will just mirror ace discourse but you can also say diet coke is disgusting and unnatural, then switch out "diet coke" with "gay people" and suddenly it mirrors homophobia. This doesn't mean hating diet coke is homophobic it just means changing the words in your sentence changes the meaning, so it's a weak point. I will be pointing out common sentiments, as "bi lesbians are invading the lesbian community" and "ace people are invading the lgbt community" have more in common than similar wording, but I'll take the time to deconstruct it properly instead of just switching out words to show they're the same.

Ok that's all please vote y'all

[entropy-sea-system]

Hello again! So I'm the anon here, I made a small list of the questions I wanted to ask! (Feel free to skip any of them if they trigger repulsion though, since I wasn't sure on some of them)

1 - Is it possible to be aplatonic but alloqueerplatonic?

2 - Can one be apl but still want close bonds with people? (Best example I could think of is close acquaintances or "unlabeled bonds", if those are even things?)

3 - Would it be apl(spec) to have plato attraction but have it be very rare, weak, or only when specific criteria is met?

4 - Is it possible to suddenly/gradually lose plato attraction (in general, not to a specific person)?

5 - Is it a possible indicator of being apl to not really feel anything "special" towards friends? (Like enjoying their company/personality but being otherwise indifferent towards them)

5.5 - With the above: Is it a possible indicator of being apl to view plato attraction/relationships as being a performance/metaphor, not actual "feelings" towards someone?

1- yeah, there are people who are aplatonic and alloqueerplatonic ! (some may assume there arent just bc the old definition of aplatonic claimed it means 'does not want qprs' - but thats not what aplatonic means. People are welcome to use the outdated definition for themself if they want but literally even the coiner of aplatonic (mr shuttershy on AVEN) never even made that definition of apl. )

2- yeah, and some apls are allo- for other attractions, and/or favorable to one or more types of close bond or relationship. (I for example have close bonds with my sexual and romantic-sexual partners bc Im demiro and allosexual, but dont want acquaintances or friends or qprs etc. bc Im repulsed by those)

3- yeah, that would be aplspec as aplatonic can also include little bit of platonic attraction, rare attraction, conditional attraction, etc. same as w how it works for aro and ace, etc.

4- yeah, it is possible. some people experience this. I dont know if there is an umbrella term for when this occurs, but if it occurred due to trauma its called caedplatonic (if one has ptsd or cptsd) and erasplatonic (if one does not have those disorders)

5- it could be, I felt like that back when I thought I wanted friends, and Ive heard other apls talk about finding friendship to be like this as well

5.5- it can be, since some of us arent familiar with how it feels to feel platonic attraction and/or truly like friendship and desire it, we may see it as 'not real' or assume everyone else is exaggerating how much they like friendship. Even if it is in fact real to people who experience it (and I don't believe its correct to actually call it, or any other attraction or relationship actually fake bc that invalidates peoples experiences)

And from my experience, unlike what some people assume, its really not just alloplatonic aros who are obsessed with friendship (some people, especially those who try to gatekeep the apl label as being only for aros, they claim there is 'no expectation to care about friendship outside of the aro community', and thus often assume this). Ive seen plenty of alloromantic people be incredibly invested in friendship and its also been very confusing to me that they even feel that much about friends and friendship as a whole, as a nonfriending apl who has never felt that.

[lifea16]

Grayplatonic Afamilial here!

1. Honestly, not entirely sure myself. I mainly identify as aplspec because I have no need for friends even though I make them. Honestly I’m unsure what qualifies as friendship or aquantency (I didn’t spell that right but idk how to) thanks to internalized platanormativity. But, basically I hang out with people and enjoy their company, even if I don’t miss it, I call that a friendship. Although keep in mind most Aplspec folk are non-friending. Aka they don’t make friends at all

2. Ya, I don’t want or need friends, I can sustain myself on just my imagination. Although I do feel like I need my moots outside school so idk for sure

3. Joy around them. Like, I’m only friends with someone if I enjoy their company any time I hang out with them. My friendships are fully based on that because there’s nothing inherently tying me to them, so if I don’t like hanging out with them, since I don’t have attraction, I don’t (at least as much as possible)

4. They feel like roommates. Ya, I confide in them sometimes and tell them about big life things, but you do that with your roommates too, right? And I don’t really have anyone else to confide in so I do with my mom. And dinners are awkward because I want to go back to my hobbit hole where I don’t have to make small talk with my family/roommates asap and they notice

5. Labels fit nicely with me. I fell down the aspec rabbit hole to find the labels btw.

Sorry if this got a bit venty at parts xD

Feel free to DM me if you have more questions! I honestly understand getting really intrusive as to how as I do myself, so I won’t judge! :3

can someone explain being aplatonic/afamilial to me??? i literally have questions so, feel free to answer anything or don’t idk?

1. how do friendships/platonic relationships work when you are aplatonic?

2. do u just not want or need friends when you’re aplatonic? do u need them but not want them?

3. what do you feel when you’re aplatonic? when you’re ace like i am you don’t feel sexual attraction and when you’re aplatonic you don’t feel platonic attraction, so if you don’t feel it what feelings do you feel for your friends?

4. how do your familial relationships look like if you’re afamilial? what exactly do you not feel? love for them? if so then what do you feel for them? attachment? also platonic attraction maybe instead?

5. how did you know you are aplatonic OR afamilial OR both.

**IN NO WAY I MEAN THIS AS AN INSULT I AM ASKING GENUINE QUESTIONS ABOUT A TOPIC I DONT FULLY UNDERSTAND! I DONT GET PLATONIC/FAMILIAL ATTRACTION AS WELL I CANNOT PINPOINT WHERE IT STARTS AND ENDS HENCE THE QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT YOU DO FEEL**