thenightling

[daytrippergilmour]

aka breakfast ASMR

[ugh-yoongi]

hii! thanks for answering my ask about your favorite namjoon fics 🥰 could you recommend your favorite yoongi fics if you haven't done it yet? thank you soo much! 💗

you got it 🫡

most of these works contain mature themes/content. please heed tags and do not engage with any explicit work if you are a minor!

i know there are a bunch i’ve forgotten, so please reblog and share your own work and your faves!

also, please note: there are a lot of fics on these lists that are posted to ao3. it has recently come out that a volunteer was removed from their position for being pro-palestine (you can find the twt thread here). i am in the process of looking for a better alternative, but until then, it is unfortunately probably the best way to share these stories. while i personally won’t be posting to or reading on ao3 for the time being, how you choose to engage going forward is completely up to you! i just wanted to make sure i was being transparent.

yoongi x reader

love language by @gukslut

please be naked and first and last and always by @floralseokjin

the dinner party by @anotherbtswriter

straight shooter by @snackhobi

winter: you're the one that bloomed me by @hot-soop

moonlit throne by @hobidreams

miss dial by @versigny

a love that endures by @cinnaminsvga

want a taste? by @suga-kookiemonster

cyberslut by @kimnjss

tip of the iceberg by @fortunexkookie

greedy by @xjoonchildx

boseong breakfast by @honeymoonjin

vogue by @gukyi

tell me what you want by @wwilloww

wine & budapest by @junghelioseok

the second time & stop thinking about me by @yoongiphoria

drip by @here2bbtstrash

cybersex by @gimmethatagustd

vows (and all the associated drabbles) by @hamsterclaw

darksided by @eoieopda

the pink pill by @dollfaceksj

volume

as always, mxm recs under the cut!

member x member

namgi: see namjoon recs here

sope: see hoseok recs here

yoonjin: see seokjin recs here

yoonkook: see jk recs here + fang fucker by @sailoryooons

atoms and empty space (yoonmin)

love maze (yoonmin)

there's a piece of you in how i dress (yoonmin)

cute, baby (yoonmin)

inevitabilities (yoonmin)

our beginnings never know our ends (yoonmin)

since feeling is first (yoonmin)

it's bad enough we get along so well (yoonmin)

he's what you want (i'm what you need) [yoonmin]

maybe i hate you can be our always (yoonmin)

smooth strip (yoonmin)

map of the sounds (taegi)

the romance of old clothes (taegi)

inside and out (taegi)

siren of the interstate (taegi)

espresso marmalade (taegi)

after all, all this time (taegi)

what happens in uni series (taegi)

return to baseline (taegi)

vanilla sweetheart (taegi)

nothing lasts forever (taegi)

wassily kandinsky improvisation 31 sea battle (taegi)

shots fired (taegi)

yachtgi series (taegi)

[misterah13]

All SpongeBob characters

SpongeBob SquarePants

Gary The Snail

Shelley The Scallop

Patrick Star

Squidward Tentacles

Sandy Cheeks

Mr Eugene H Krabs

Sheldon J Plankton

Karen Plankton

Mrs Penelope Puff

Pearl Krabs

Larry The Lobster

The Flying Dutchman

King Neptune

Queen Amphitrite

Triton

Princess Mindy

Jody

King Neptune’s Mother

Mermaid Man

Barnacle Boy

Pyrite Ponderer

Miss Appear

The Elastic Waistband

Captain Magma

The Quickster

Madame Kassandra

Madame Hagfish

Squilvia

Squidette

Squidina Star

Bunny Star

Cecil Star

Herb Star

Margie Star

Grand Pat

Uncle GrandPat

Inga Star

Ed Star

Sam Star

Silly Star

Confused Star

Hungry Star

Janet Star

Marty Star

Patrick Nonstar

Ice Cream King

P-1000

Elephant Snail

Moose Snail

Squilliam Fancyson

Ma Cheeks

Pa Cheeks

Granny Cheeks

Randy Cheeks

Rowdy Cheeks

Rosie Cheeks

Sparky

Sue Nahmee

Cuda

Kyle

Phoebe

Rattlesnakes

Man Ray

Dirty Bubble

Harold SquarePants

Margaret SquarePants

Grandma SquarePants

Grandpa SquarePants

Todd SquarePants

SpongeBox

SpongeBox’s Holographic Doorman

Burger Beard

Prawn

Craig Mammalton

Rosy Cheeks

Macadamia

Pistachio

Hazelnut

Kenny The Cat

Regigilled The Octopus

Wise Kraken

Krakens

Goth Whale

Doctor Marmalade

Professor Percy

Lord Reginald

Atomic Flounder

Jumbo Shrimp

Sinister Slug

The Octopus King

The Moth

Breakfast Monster

Kelp Thing

DoodleBob

Clam Head Candy Cad

Jeff Tentacles

Kevin C Cucumber

Gordon Plankton

Cletus Plankton

Mama Plankton

Plankton 2.0

Betsy Krabs

Redbeard Krabs

Mr Doodles The Worm

Krabs Senior

Mrs Tentacles

Granny Tentacles

Jeff Tentacles

Plankton’s Ancestors, Cousins and Family

Granny Plankton

Spot The Amoeba

Chip Plankton

Lighthouse Louie

Otto

King Poseidon

Sage

Tony The Sea Turtle

Sea Turtles

Anchor Man

Buford

Cletus

Luther

Wonder Whale

Robot Mantis

King Jellyfish

Queen Jellyfish

Jellyfish

Blue Crested Blaster Jellyfish

Speckled Squirter Jellyfish

Two Fisted Jumper Jellyfish

Gold Throated Singer Jellyfish

No Name/Friend The Blue Jellyfish

Ol Bessy The Jellyfish

Dopey Dick The White Jellyfish

Firejellies

Jellybee

Bat Jellyfish

Moon Jellyfish

Jelliens

Jellien Leader

Seahorses

Sea Urchins

Clamu

Jennifer The Sea Anemone

Comb Jelly

Stingray

Stan The Manta Ray

Gulper Eel

Wormy

Professor Percy

Dr Marmalade

Lord Reginald

Fuzzy Acorns

Mystery The Seahorse

Sea Whelks

Sea Snails

Miss Marigold The Sea Snail

Penny Pinchers

Alaskan Bull Worm

The Sneaky Hermit

Hermit Crabs

Yeti Crabs

Federico The Waiter

Shrimp

Brine Shrimp/Sea Monkeys

Johnny Krill

Krill

Snellie

Sea Slug

Leech

Eel

Stanley S SquarePants

Captain Blue SquarePants

BlackJack SquarePants

Bubbles The Talking Dolphin

Janitor Bots

Ancient Warrior

Manatees/Sea Cows

Earless Seals

Bubble Buddy

Squidabeth

Clams

Scallops

Black Scallops

Karen Plankton 2.0

E.M.I.LP.

Fredrick

Abominable Snow Mollusk

Mermaid Teenager 1

Mermaid Teenager 2

Mermaid Teenager 3

Mermaid Teenager 4

Mermaid Teenager 5

Mermaid Teenager Incidentals

Mermaid 1 (The Cosmic Shake)

Mermaid 2 (The Cosmic Shake)

Mermaid 3 (The Cosmic Shake)

Sir Urchin

Snail Fail

Tooth Fairy (Character)

Narlene Narwhal

Nobbert Nobby Narwhal

WillyBob The Narwhal

Ma Narwhal

Pa Narwhal

Mr Eugene Krabs’s Three Nephews

Noseferatu

Kidferatu

Captain Of The Sea Ship Atlantis

Lord Royal Highness

Atlantean Royal Guards

Nando

Worm Hogs

Rolly The Dinosaur

Dinosaurs

Sea Dinosaurs

Sea Tigers

Sea Elephants

Sea Cows

Lucky The Sea Cow

Bessie

Sea Giraffes

Sea Bunnies

Sea Bears

Sea Spiders

Sea Chimps

Sea Monkeys

Sea Rhinoceroses

Sea Baboons

Sea Hippos

Sea Snakes

Sea Mules

Sewer Snake

Sea Monsters

Sea Monster

Fifi The Worm

Robot (Character)

Worms

Spotted Glistening Meadow Worms

Mrs Wormsley

Wormsley Children

Earworm

Peanut Worms

Nematodes

Rex The Worm

JK

Atlantean Citizens

The Greek Chorus

French Narrator

Goofy Goober

Mayhem Machine

Mr Sun

Patchy The Pirate

Potty The Parrot

Stephen Hillenburg

[dowot]

Do you have Tumblr friends whom you know personally in real life? How are you affiliated with them?

Who among your Tumblr moots you’d love to meet in person and be friends with? And why them?

- No. Wala akong tumblr friends na kilala ko in real life

- @iam-deactivated20220101

@sunb0rn

@gluhds

@cdplayerr

@atomic-marmalade

Sila lang talaga yung nakakausap ko dito saka feeling ko masaya silang kasama in person hindi ka maboboring Haha

[gothycollie]

what are some songs you associate with your characters?

Not too many examples but here goes

Marmalade I associate any song from Pink Floyd's Atom Heart Mother with because she's named from the lyrics from the last song on the album (and the album cover is a cow, see the connection?)

I associate Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears with Madison because a while ago I did a big drawing with them as Britney in the music video, that association is definitely why I tend to draw Madison in a red catsuit

Least fitting of all is the song Tarzan Boy by Baltimora always reminds me of Mishka because I was obsessed with it at the time I first started drawing Mishka

[entropic-saudade]

Recent fics and updates:

1) Update to “our love is shown in the letting go,” my Lambden MCD grief fic

2) SPN fic, post-canon Dean/Cas and Sam, coda to Prophet and Loss

3) Short update to Lullabies and other magic series (the magical!Jaskier series)

4) SPN fic, Dean/Cas; TFW watches Paddington and Dean is inspired to make marmalade for Cas.

5) SPN fics, a new multi chapter WIP, Pacific Rim AU fic inspired by the Atomic Heart trailer. Eventual Dean/Cas, Sam/Eileen, and Claire/Kaia.

[homestuck-human-generator]

Name: Miss Wong Mwangi Color: Marmalade #D16002 Symbol: atom Strife Specibus: umbrellakind Handle: toughCreative Animal: petrel Pronouns: it/its Age: 20 Birthday: 333th day of the year Sexuality: ??? Interests: deltiology (postcard collecting) and curling Dream Moon: prospit Classpect: Heir of Rage Land: Land of Platinum and Expanse, a tough place, with obnoxious Bibron's Gecko consorts. It is a place full of lonely swelling geography and seas of goo. Ophion lurks in this land's forests. Instrument: polyphone via homestuck-human-generator https://ift.tt/rhCpvu9

[pumpkinselfships]

💕 oh you know 👀

you know why he’s here

[rexscanonwife]

Oh heck is it appreciating Momo hours? Hell yeah! Youre so so sweet and such a kind soul and! Super funny and incredibly talented too??? No wonder Engie loves you so much, you're the bees knees!

DUNE!!!! WHAT THE HECK YOU'RE SO NICE AAAA!!! 💖💖💖💖😭

[circuits-smiling]

What does Abigale like to do in her free time? :0c

Browses the internet, Hangsout with her friends, listens to music, paints (shes not too good though)

[unamuseddetective]

💕eyy sign me up! I'm pan, i like movies, painting, and cooking, and i just really like passionate folks!

Ooooooh!!!!You and Christopher would make an adorable pairing honestly? He works as a painter, and would be a very supportive partner and friend! He’d spend lots of time with you, and would love nothing more than to curl up on the couch and binge watch shows and films late into the evening. While he’s a bit quiet, he can be an absolute dork gushing over his interests & would love to hear about yours!

[doomedandstoned]

Know Your Scene: Electric Valley Records

~By Peter Willmott~

Electric Valley Records is a name in the underground Stoner/Psych/Doom community that inspires enthusiastic support from every corner. Based in the small island of Sardinia Italy, founder Marco Nieddu started off releasing his own music for the band Raikinas. Now years after Raikinas has joined the great festival in the sky and the label lives on. Now Marco continues to play with 1782 and he has been making serious waves with Electric Valley Records with a stable of great bands and a growing reputation for boutique vinyl, deliciously dark art, and all round killer releases.

Started by Marco in 2014, the label grew over the first few years from a boutique Italian market to take on the world stage and by 2018 was generating serious media attention. Marco’s great art and attention to detail in his releases created a loyal stable of fans - if it was Electric Valley Records you knew it was going to be a great album.

Fast forward to 2021, as Italy slowly climbs out of the COVID-19 mess, Electric Valley Records has a great family of bands who support each other - you can’t underestimate the power of community in helping bands stay strong and keep the fire alive to produce great music. The power of vinyl and fuzz worship has never been stronger! 2021 sees Electric Valley Records take a global position with one release a month in the first half of 2021, including bands from Australia (Amammoth), Chile (Dixie Goat), Cyprus (Stonus), Italy (1782, Cancervo) and more. We can’t wait to see what’s coming next!

We spoke with Marco Nieddu about some of the label’s history.

When did you decide to start Electric Valley Records, and where did the name come from?

The label was born in 2014, with my band at the time, Raikinas, we were looking for a label, we sent tons of emails but we got just two or three replies. I couldn't stand it, so I decided to create my own label just for that band, but as you know Electric Valley has much more than just one band, plus Raikinas no longer exists. (laughs)

As for the name instead, there is no particular reason, that name had been spinning in my head for a long time, so I didn't think twice and chose it as the name of the label.

What do you love about the Italian heavy music scene?

The Italian heavy music scene is really beautiful, there are so many good bands that take out fantastic albums; bands like Ufomammut, Black Rainbows, Elepharmers, Humulus, Cancervo, Atomic Mold, just to name a few, I could spend hours writing.

Also from the point of view of labels it is not bad at all, one of the strongest labels of this genre is Heavy Psych Sounds Records, and it is from Rome, then we have Argonauta Records, GoDown Records and many others.

One thing I love about the Italian scene is the small festivals, people are very interested. In my opinion we are not at the level of other countries such as Germany, for example --but I must say that in our small way we move well -- there is a lot of interest from both the organizer and the public.

What gives you the biggest buzz running the label?

Basically everything! (laughs) The excitement starts from when the band signs through to the release of the album and beyond. This with every single release!

The coolest thing is when you realize bands are going strong, I don't mean sales, I mean, when people start talking about bands, share them on social media, include them in playlists and take record photos. For me the most important thing is that the band is doing well and growing more and more. Before being my job, it is my passion.

What is the special sauce that makes an album an “Electric Valley Records” release?

There isn't exactly a special sauce, each band has its own special sauce. When I listen to new bands, generally, if I like them I immediately realize, as I said before, each band has its own particularity and this is what strikes me, it can be a certain type of sound, a certain style of riff, the groove, the voice and any other kind of peculiarity.

What I try to do is make the listener feel the same feelings I feel when I listen to that particular band. I can't pick bands at random or without listening to them just to make a release, Electric Valley isn't that kind of label.

Marco Nieddu may be the most popular man in the underground stoner-psychedelic and doom community. We reached out to bands on the Electric Valley Records label, and boy were they ready to talk about it, there’s a whole lotta love for Marco and his work over the years!

What attracted you to Electric Valley Records?

Amammoth: We first heard of them through the band 1782 which we are huge fans of. We love their sound and they have amazing artwork. When we were looking into getting some artwork done for our band we looked at Electric Valley and we discovered Marco was the one who did it all. We were super lucky to have Marco do some art for us and it all stemmed from there. We were already fans of the label and listened to a lot of the bands on the label, as they promote a lot of the influential up and upcoming bands of our genre.

Atomic Mold: It was 2015, our first album "Atomic Mold" had just been released. Marco contacted us to find out if we would like to collaborate, we wrote a lot and we decided to make a split. He put us in touch with Mount Hush and in a short time we made a split that had good success and was sold out in a few months. In October 2016 we met with Marco in Sardegna who organized the tour with Fatso Jetson.

Stonus: Well, back in 2019 we were looking for a record label to release our debut album “Aphasia” which was our main aim at the time. The reason for seeking a label contract was to get more reach, release our music on vinyl, more gig opportunities and to learn how things work from a more business/professional perspective. We had 4 or 5 options at the time and Electric Valley Records was the most appealing as we liked the bands that were signed and they do things in a really professional way. Marco is an excellent guy although we never met in person. (laughs) He is always available for questions and he is really flexible and understanding. In a year, we had two releases on vinyl, “Aphasia” and “Séance” and they also have some cool options like tapes. I must say we are very satisfied even though the pandemic caused some delays but what can you do, fans have been patient on their side and we have to thank them for that, too.

Loose Sutures: EVR is one of the best labels in doom, stoner, fuzz rock. Beautiful roster, high accuracy in every detail, respect and personality. For us is more about a brotherhood than a simple contract sealing: we belong to the same island and share the same studio with 1782. We're friends and we all feel friendship with all EVR bands.

Hadewijch: EVR attracted us for many reasons but the first would have to be the great communication back and forth and the complete belief in our vision and Herbal Doom from day one. Marco is a professional and creates an environment where we as artists and our music feels safe and respected. It’s clear that he cares very much about the bands and the music itself and is not afraid to take risks on what he releases in line with a level of quality that has become known from the label.

High N' Heavy: What attracted us to EVR was we really dug their aesthetic, and we were already big fans of Atomic Mold and Weed Demon.

Dixie Goat: We don't know if you can put this (we can - Peter) but the last days of last year we were contacted by Paul from The Cosmic Peddler. He asked us if we had physical copies from our 2nd album (new one) so we said no. Then he asked us if we were interested in releasing the album and if we want to have a label. Our answer was Fuck Yeah! man. We don't care if they want to release our new album on tape, cd, lp, laserdisc, betamax, minidisc, whatever they want! We were just happy that someone was interested in the band and they wanted us to release our music outside our country also considering our difficult times. So that is how it starts. Kinda fairy tale. They have a great roster of bands. Also they released a split including our brothers from Chile, Arteaga. Awesome band, by the way.

Cancervo: We’ve known EVR through friends. We already listen to some bands from this label and we like their works, so we tried to send our first record, when they told us that the song was liked and that we could do something, we were so excited!

Weed Demon: When Marco approached us about signing with EVR we were completely unfamiliar with the label but it didn’t take long to realize that they were headed in the right direction. The roster of bands was killer and label branding was on point. It just felt like a perfect fit for us. They had a little bit of everything, just like our sound in Weed Demon. It also didn’t hurt that Marco is a super nice dude and has always been easy to work with.

Marmalade Knives: I found my way to Electric Valley through Heavy Psych Sounds, and I instantly really appreciated Marco and his openness to hearing new music and growing his label in different psychedelic directions. I think his attitude and demeanor find their way into all corners of the EVRverse. All of the other bands on the label I've interacted with have been super supportive and cool.

Desert Suns: We started working with Electric Valley right when we had finished our latest album Carry On. We were shopping it around to see who would want to release it. Marco was down to put it out.

Wormhog: Since we were determined to release our first LP Yellow Sea on vinyl we had made some contacts with various labels and pressing plants. Electric Valley and Marco showed us right from the start how much they wanted a collaboration between us. Of course, we knew of EVR’s existence long before our release and we were flattered to be part of such a great family with so many great bands! However, what actually attracted us, was that there was a feeling of mutual respect in our communication, right from the start, which was also depicted on our contract. Everything is straight and simple, which was the main reason we wanted to be part of the label, and we couldn’t be happier about it!

Elepharmers: We met the guys from Electric Valley before their label was even founded. Marco was the bass player of Raikinas, we met at a concert, then we shared the stage and beautiful evenings. We also did some gigs in Germany together thanks to him and his band. We appreciate their desire to grow and make space for themselves in the stoner, psych, doom music scene.

What was the most exciting part of your release with Electric Valley Records?

Amammoth: We were super stoked to be working with a label that we were already fans of, and to be on a label that gives a fuck and actually cares about the art and the artists. It was fun working with Marco to design the record cover too, as we really appreciate his art. It was exciting to work with a label that works so hard to expose their bands to people all around the world and we really appreciate them pumping our songs out for people all over to hear. Coming from Australia and being in a genre like ours it is a great honour and privilege to be on a label like Electric Valley, as our music is being heard and reaching places further than we could have ever imagined.

Atomic Mold: Surely to see our records arrive all over the world!

Stonus: Nothing can beat the excitement of releasing your debut album on vinyl and being featured by blogs and magazines all around the globe. We feel very thankful for the feedback and support we received and Electric Valley Records was a catalyst on this small success.

Loose Sutures: Being part of EVR means being part of something getting bigger every year . You realize immediately that this label cares a lot about their bands. You can see it in every step: music, promotion, merch, album covers etcetera. Now we are close to releasing the first single of our new album and we can't wait for it! So excited and proud.

Hadewijch: The most exciting was to have 100 percent freedom with the artwork and control over the release, but still feeling like this was a collective team effort with EVR behind us every step of the way.

High N' Heavy: Most exciting part about releasing through them was they did such a great job getting us out there and fully supporting our ideas. They’re great at working with you on making your release the best it can be. From the music to the art direction and everywhere in between.

Dixie Goat: As we said above, the label has great bands so being part of it's like a dream come true. Also releasing our music for the first time on a label and for the first time on vinyl woooow, we were jumping like monkeys. Pretty happy!

Cancervo: The most exciting part was planning the release and all the technical details of our first album.

Weed Demon: Our last two releases with EVR gave us way more worldwide exposure. It’s difficult for an Ohio based band to gain a following across the pond in Europe. Having a label based out of Sardinia definitely helped increase our fan base.

Marmalade Knives: As this was my band's first release ever, I have to say that each milestone -- each a first -- was very exciting for me. The signing, the selection of vinyl colors, holding a copy in my hands for the first time: it was all exciting.

Desert Suns: Electric Valley had been on our radar for a couple years so it was cool to actually have our second album released by a label from Italy. Electric Valley has been putting out some solid releases from some really rad bands! We are stoked to be on their roster.

Wormhog: Since Yellow Sea is our first physical release, the most exciting moment cannot be any other than the moment we saw our new records in the flesh! The printing and pressing quality are absolutely amazing, and that’s what anybody should expect from a label like Electric Valley Records.

Elepharmers: One thing we appreciate about Electric Valley is that it's a label run by people with so much enthusiasm, people with whom we've created a bond of friendship that goes beyond the stage and making records. Marco from EV collaborated in setting the dates for the 2020 European tour, which unfortunately was cancelled due to the Covid-19 pandemic.

Anything else you’d like to share about Electric Valley Records?

Amammoth: We can’t thank them enough for everything they have done for us as a band. They are one of the best independent record labels in the world and we are super lucky to be working with them.

Atomic Mold: Yes, we are currently composing the new album which we will release with Electric Valley Records. Over time he has built a great relationship with us. We have a lot of trust and respect for the work he has always done for us.

Stonus: For us the whole concept of a release is important, from music to artwork, vinyl colour, special inserts and posters. We like to experiment with ideas and possibilities so we often discuss with Marco things that he has never done before and he is keen to learn and do his research, always offering a solution. We are really happy to be part of this awesome family of heavy bands, they are all amazing artists and people. We can't wait to meet them in person and connect through music!

Loose Sutures: Get Ready for the new album: it's gonna be hot and nasty! We are proud to continue being part of this great family and we are more than sure that it will continue to grow and improve more and more.

Hadewijch: Yes! I think it’s worth saying, even at the risk of sounding a bit cliché, that there is a very positive feeling environment on the label. All the bands are kind and willing to help each other, like a group of friends you know? We’re all willing to help uplift each other and it’s an awesome feeling.

High N' Heavy: And I’d like to say again that the support is real with EVR. Not just from Marco and the crew, but from the bands, too. We constantly refer to it as the EVR family, and it really feels that way. Everyone reps everyone else. It’s a great label, and they continue to grow with new awesome bands.

Dixie Goat: They have treated us awesome since day 1. Always kind and respectfully. We like that and we have just gratitude for the label. We think it's not that easy to sign a band from the end of the world. We have so much love for Marco from Electric Valley Records and Paul from The Cosmic Peddler. Thank you so much, guys!

Cancervo: We found a great family and a good vibe who pushed us to plan our second album still with them. It will come out in the first part of 2022! Stay tuned!

Weed Demon: The thing I love most about being a part of this label is the feeling of family. All of the bands are super supportive of one another. Even being spread out all across the world, it still feels like you are all buds in a local scene. Everyone working towards a shared goal of growing the Electric Valley family and pushing each other’s music and art to the next level!

Marmalade Knives: Just that I'm psyched to continue the working relationship. I'm hopeful that the second Marmalade Knives LP will be released later this year.

Desert Suns: We’ve had a little line up change over the last year so we are writing some new material we’d like to record and get out within the next year and hopefully have the privilege to keep working with Electric Valley Records.

Wormhog: We just can’t wait for our next release together!

Elepharmers: At the moment I don't have other things to tell: there would be many anecdotes related to parties and concerts, drinking beer till dawn and listening to great music.

Highlights from the Electric Valley Records Catalog

Amammoth

Amammoth - The Fire Above by Electric Valley Records

Atomic Mold

Split Atomic Mold / Arteaga by ATOMIC MOLD

Cancervo

I by CANCERVO

Desert Suns

Carry On by Desert Suns

Dixie Goat

There's No Light Without Darkness by Dixie Goat

Elepharmers

Lords of Galaxia (2019, Electric Valley Records) by Elepharmers

Hadewijch

Herbal Noise by Hadewijch

High N' Heavy

V by High n' Heavy

Loose Sutures

Loose Sutures by Loose Sutures

Marmalade Knives

Amnesia by Marmalade Knives

Stonus

Séance by Stonus

Weed Demon

Crater Maker by Weed Demon

Wormhog

Yellow Sea by Wormhog

Follow The Label

Get Their Music

[headoverjojo]

Hi hi! How did your week go? Got cool plans for the weekend? (apart of resting I hope!! ÒAÓ)

Hiiiii :3 (also I've seen just now your sweet submission Tumblr B E G O N E) it went pretty well! I'm at uni basically all day from Monday to Wednesday and on Thursday and Friday I have just a 2 hours class and this led me to unlock a new uni area and!! Surprise!! The new area revolves around a part of a wall built ~'600 and it's freaking cool, it has been a wonderful discovery >:3 and I'm gonna study and try to proceed with a small drawing for Halloween, hopefully, this weekend! Nothing interesting but at least I can get plenty of sleep, lol. And you, dear? :3

[crunchy--milk]

me: im gonna listen to Atom Hearth Mother! Alans Psychedelic Breakfast knowing very well i have a very deep engrained hatred for the sounds of people eating:  :)

[starswake--archived]

HELL YEAH FRUITS BASKET HYPE!!

YEAAAAAAAAAAH BOY!!!!!!!

[lazyevaluationranch]

On a post about the Blue Haired Girlfriend's quixotic citrus breeding experiments, @voidingintotheshout​ asked:

I mean, if you wanted a hearty citrus relative, why didn’t you just grow Osage Orange? They can grow as far north as Michigan which is surely further north than anyone could reasonably expect to grow a citrus tree. They’re not edible but then hearty orange isn’t either. Osage Orange are so cool and such a interesting historical plant from the Shelterbelt era of American agriculture. Apparently they do smell like citrus.

This is part three of three. Part one. Part two.

Now you've done it! It's time for A Very Brief (But Also Insufficiently Brief) History of Twentieth Century Hardy Citrus Cultivation! Growing citrus trees this far north is kind of nuts, it's true, but I promise you it is not even close to the weirdest things people have done to grow citrus in places where the citrus doesn't think it should grow.

A note: This post will written using the Swingle citrus taxonomy system, including things that are definitely wrong. The citrus taxonomic tree looks like that one box of orphaned computer cords I keep moving with me to new houses "in case I need them" except some sort of adorable five-dimensional kitten has entertained herself with them and some of the resulting knots are not technically possible in our space-time continuum. 

The powers that be gave us citrus because nothing pleases them like seeing a geneticist cry.

1. The Migrant Trees

The Soviet Union wanted lemons for tea, and they wanted to be independent enough not to have to trade with anyone else to get them, which meant they wanted to grow their own citrus. That part of the world is not a great place to grow plants that die when the temperature goes below zero, but at the foundation of the Soviet Union, there were citrus orchards in the warmest part of Georgia, along the Black Sea. Specifically, there was about, uh, one and a half square kilometers of somewhat implausible citrus orchard.

Hang on, it is about to get way less plausible.

This is the great citrus migration: any tree that did well in one spot, they'd try planting its seeds a few kilometres further north, or a few kilometres further east. Prizes were offered for breeding hardier citrus. Slowly the orchards spread, but they were extremely weird orchards.

It's usually a few degrees warmer at ground level than up in the air, and there's way less wind. So as the trees grew, they were bent over and tied along the ground. Some of them had the central trunk run in a straight line along the ground, with branches spreading out from it like the leaves of a fern, like an espaliered tree on its side. Others were starfish shaped, with the central trunk looped down until it ended up next to the base, and the branches sprawling out along the ground from the centre like starfish legs. The citrus trees were no taller than particularly vigorous strawberry plants, but they survived the winters, and you could throw a blanket over them to help them stay warm.

None of that helped if the ground froze solid, so they needed Underground Citrus. You'd dig a ditch, down below the lowest area where the ground froze, and you'd plant flat Starfish Trees or Flat Frond Trees running along the bottom of it, too deep to freeze. In winter, you'd just cover the ditch with boards any time the temperature was expected to go below freezing - citrus would tolerate the lack of light, but not the cold. Mandarins (Citrus reticulata) seemed to do best, so that’s most of what was grown.

It is a nearly unimaginable amount of work to grow citrus this way, along the bottoms of pits and trenches. We are experimentally trying to grow a Soviet-developed mandarin breed of unknown parentage, Shirokolistvennyi, but we will definitely not be putting in that level of effort.

2. The Mixed Up Trees

There are a couple species of citrus that tolerate cold well, but taste awful. A lot of effort has gone into crossbreeding them with more edible citrus. The results are ... mixed.

The Ichang Papeda (Citrus cavaleriei) generally survives temperatures down to -18 degrees C. It is stoic and calm and has mastered emptiness. Unfortunately, it has mastered emptiness too well. The fruit smells like lemons, with maybe a hint of rose, but there's nothing to eat here. It has a rind and seeds. No juice, no flesh.

(Photo by Michael Saalfield)

The Ichang Papeda is the parent or grandparent to several delicious, extremely sour Asian citrus types. Yuzu/yuja smells like grapefruit and clean wet stones from the bottom of a fast-flowing stream. Sudachi smells like grapefruit and leaves with dew on them. (I haven't met kabosu or any other papeda hybrids personally, but they are numerous.)  They're all too sour to eat plain, unless you really need to turn your face inside out for some reason, but make for excellent flavouring. 

(We have a yuzu tree and a sudachi tree and they're surviving, but no fruit yet.)

Trifoliate orange (Poncirus trifoliata) can survive temperatures down to -30 degrees C. This may be partly because, uniquely amoung citrus, they can drop leaves in autumn or winter and regrow them in spring, like a maple tree. They also produce an internal antifreeze. They are angry, twisted, thorny little plants that yell swears when you walk past them. They make a great hedge. The fruit is furry, smells like flowers and pine trees and taste like burnt, bitter plastic. It may or may not be possible to breed the horrible taste completely out of trifoliate oranges without losing cold-hardiness, if it's due to their antifreeze chemicals. Here’s Stabby:

(Photo by Rob Hille)

Even the least terrible trifoliate crossbreeds are bitter enough to qualify as “acquired tastes.” There are recipes for trifoliate marmalade: put a dozen trifoliate oranges, a kilogram of sugar, and a kilogram of pebbles in a pot, cook until it gels, then sieve out the oranges and eat the pebbles. 

We are growing a trifoliate orange / minneola orange hybrid. And, of course, someday our own trifoliate hybrids. The Blue Haired Girlfriend planted 200 trifoliate oranges a couple years ago. There are fewer now, but the survivors have lived through two winters of snow and frost, and they might have somehow gotten more stabby. We're going to breed them, to each other or to less angry fruit, try and make something new and good from them.

I've limited this post to twentieth century hardy citrus breeding, but I have to give a shoutout to somatic hybridization, a decidedly twenty first century technique, where you take a cell from each of two different plants, remove their cell walls, put them next to eachother, and shock them with electricity until they merge into a single cell whose nucleus contains all genes from both plants. Then the new plant is like, "Wow, I guess these are all my genes? It seems like a lot, haha, but it's not like somebody made me from dismembered body parts and electricity, that is not how science works. Anyway I guess it's time to do some plant stuff now."

3. The Mutant Trees

In the 1950s, people started using radiation to randomly scramble the genes of plants. You'd irradiate seeds enough to change the genes somehow, and then you'd have to plant them to see what had happened. Maybe it was people horrified by the atomic bomb desperately wanting to find some life-supporting use for atomic fission, maybe it was government-supported cold war "atom bombs are good actually, look how many we have, USSR" propaganda. Probably both. 

This time period also saw serious plans for Orion, a spaceship with a huge metal plate for a butt, intended to be propelled by exploding atomic bombs under it, which I am not actually making up.

Thousands of people in Europe and the US signed up to receive seeds with random mutations in the mail, plant them, and report back on what they heck they grew into and if it had any useful weirdness. (The gamma radiation used to mutate the seeds did not make them radioactive themselves - the seeds were completely safe.) There were also more formal and carefully controlled university research programs in China, Japan, and the US, where plants where grown in a circular research garden with a coverable radiation source at the centre, so that the farther you got from the centre, the less radiation the plants got. Radiation breeding is less popular than it used to be, but Japan still has a very productive citrus radiation breeding program.

The most popular radiation-bred citrus is the "Rio Red" grapefruit and its offspring, which has a much deeper red than non-mutant red grapefruit.

There aren't many radiation-developed citrus breeds noted for cold-hardiness - with radiation you get whatever you get  - but there are a few, and I want one just because I think they're neat, a monument to that lovely human vision that looks at terrible weapons and somehow sees glossy-leaved trees with bright fruit.

4. The Monster Trees

Citrus are usually grown via grafting. That is, you plant a seed from a fast-growing sturdy breed, you let it grow roots and all that, and then you cut the top off and replace it with a branch from a more delicious breed. The two citruses grow together, and you end up with a tree that's disease and cold resistant in the roots, below the graft, but makes tasty fruit above the graft.

Occasionally, this process goes Wrong. 

The first recorded instance is the tree called Bizarria, discovered in 1640. Someone attempted to graft a sour orange branch onto a citron. But instead of a clean line between sour orange branches and citron roots, the graft was damaged somehow, and the two different species of cells got tangled and mixed through the whole tree. It has branches that produce citron fruit. It has branches that produce sour orange fruit. And it has branches that produce, uh ... these:

(Photo by Labrina)

Most graft chimeras are made accidentally, when the graft site is damaged. Trifoliate orange is often used as rootstock, so there are many reported chimeras involving trifoliate orange and a nicer fruit. The mixed-up cells can be arranged a lot of ways, but it's possible to have the outside layer of the tree be trifoliate orange, and the core of the tree be the other citrus (periclinal chimera). This means you could theoretically get a tree with frostproof trifoliate leaves and branches, but fruit that doesn’t taste like burnt plastic rolled in quinine.

This lucky monstrosity has, in fact, reportedly happened. Twice. There is the Prague Citsuma, discovered in a greenhouse in Prague and suspected to have been created by a Soviet breeding program. And then there is the Hormish, discovered in China and thought to have been made by frostbite messing up the clean lines of the graft. The Blue Haired Girlfriend has managed to track down budwood from the Prague Citsuma - I’m so excited! - so we'll see how the fierce thorny monster tree with a heart of gold, or at least heartwood of gold, does for us.

5. Conclusion

Humans have been trying to grow citrus trees where they don't belong for nearly two thousand years, at least since the Jewish Diaspora and people trying to grow holy etrog trees - trunks gnarled as barnacle stones and the whole tree scented like the best dream you can't remember - in Europe. Maybe longer.

The Blue Haired Girlfriend's citrus-breeding schemes aren't going to singlehandedly transform Canada into a net citrus exporter. But history shows us: it might be possible to have a little gleaming sweetness from the stony ground here, with the ravens and the fir trees and the auroras. A sweetness we made ourselves, that exists nowhere else. 

Or maybe we'll just have a bunch of weird inedible fruit. I don't know, but it's worth finding out, worth weaving together leaf and thorn and stone and the light of our hands as the years unwind. Worth it to have a quixotic project we can expect to spend decades on together, hands and hearts. This is how home is made, sometimes, with a balcony full of angry thorny little trees that shout swears at passerby.