#ateez x mc

[bluemari23]

dazzling light || kim hongjoong

summary: your soul bond activates at a concert and you seriously doubt your actually going to be able to meet them, not when they are on the stage and more than likely can't see the soul light that surrounds you.

pairing: kim hongjoong x autistic reader

genre: soulmates, soul bonds, soul marks, fluff, some light angst

warnings: autistic reader, overstimulation, some slight panic,

word count: 1.5k

masterlist

---------------------------------

Despite your love for music, sometimes it could be too loud. Your ears ringing and sometimes you swore your brain actually shakes in your skull. The way you listened to music almost every second of the day was a surprise to some people, seeing as you were easily overstimulated and when too many things were happening at once, you used your noise canceling headphones for peace. 

You thought that a concert would be an isolated incident; Somewhere where you could only focus on the music and not on anything else. Where you could just feel the music and let your body sway to the rhythm. 

Finding out you had a soulmate at a concert was not on your plan for the night. 

And looking down at your wrist to see the gold letters building the name of your bias was also not on your plan for the night. 

For soulmates, soul bonds only activate when you are in the same room, gold letters representing the soul spell out the name of your soulmate. A gold light also surrounds the people within the bond so you could find your other half easier. 

But you knew who your other half was, and you doubted they could see you from the stage. 

You were seated near the front of the stage, a front row seat in the first part of the seated section. You had felt beyond lucky to get the seat, knowing how quickly the seats go and how easily the concerts sell out tickets. Now, you wonder if it was fate bringing you here. 

You anxiously sat, waiting for some kind of sign that he also sees you. But Hongjoong seemed to look almost everywhere but where you were seated. That was until he glanced at your section during Guerilla and seemed to do an obvious double glance. Everyone around you was screaming, thinking that he was looking at them, but you know differently. 

But then he didn’t look your way again. 

You couldn’t help but to think, maybe he doesn’t want a soulmate?

Did he see your soul light?

He probably isn’t interested in having a soulmate. Another person to depend on. It’s probably for the best anyways, with your disability anyways. You couldn’t always control your brain or the way your body took in stimuli. 

Seeing reason, you tried to just enjoy the rest of the concert, listening to Answer and then Crazy Form, which was one of your favorites. You followed the crowd and moved your light stick along with them. You even got up and danced for as long as you could handle. 

When the concert ended, though, you couldn’t help but to wait a couple minutes. You told yourself it was because you couldn’t handle the crowds trying to leave the stadium at the same time, but you knew it was because you hoped that he did want you, even the tiniest bit. 

After waiting about ten minutes, you gave up hope and started to grab your things. It was disappointing, but nothing you weren’t used to. Being a burden was unfortunately something you felt a lot, and this was nothing different. 

After grabbing your things, you began to make your way down the small walkway that led to the inner hallways of the stadium, out into the main concession area. You pass through the entryway only to bump into a large man in a stadium uniform. 

“Are you Ms. Y/n L/n?” The large man was imposing and his voice was deep and intimidating, making you hesitate for a couple of seconds before nodding your head, not wanting any trouble. 

“We’ll need you to come with us then.” You heard another voice, and someone pushed past the large and intimidating man to stand in front of you. 

This man was shorter, but still nonetheless intimidating. He wore a stern expression and his glasses reminded you of an old professor you had in college who loved to yell and throw things across the classroom when someone was talking during his lecture. It was safe to say you were now shaking in your shoes. 

The ma wore no indication of his position with regards to the stadium, and you were thoroughly confused now to what could be going on. 

“Is there something wrong, Sirs?” Your voice was weaker than you wanted to push out, showing how uncomfortable you were. 

The men just turned around and started walking, not even looking to see if you were following. But you did, entirely scared and uncomfortable and feeling entirely intimidated to do anything but what the men say. 

You followed them through a different hallway, one with the words “CREW ONLY” plastered to the front. You now went from being scared to freaked out. Your thoughts were going a hundred miles an hour until you ended up in front of a set of double doors that had the word “ATEEZ” printed on a sheet of paper and taped to the right-side door. 

Now, now you were completely frozen.

You swear your heart actually stopped. 

“Please.” The short man gestured you forward, knocking on the door for you without giving you a second to move. 

Before you could catch your breath, someone opened the door, a casual smile on their lips and a baggy but comfortable looking t-shirt with the new Ateez designs on it. You assumed this was one of the managers as he shook the smaller man’s hand and thanked them for bringing you here. 

“Hello, you must be Ms. Y/n?” The man then turned to look at you, his bright eyes centered on you and then your wrist where Hongjoong’s name resided in gold ink.

You just stared at the man, your obvious nerves showcased on your face, still completely frozen as you look up at him. 

“Please, don’t be nervous. Hongjoong is actually excited that we were able to find you still here and might actually start freaking out if we leave him in there with Wooyoung and Jongho’s teasing any longer.” The man cracks another warm-hearted smile at you before holding his hand out for you to take, a nice gesture. 

“How about we go and introduce you to your soulmate, hm?” The man, who still didn’t introduce himself moved behind you, hand hovering against your back as he opens the door again, the noise from inside becoming completely silent as you slowly moved inside. 

You saw Hongjoong first, his eyes catching yours as a large smile grows on his lips, his cheeks pushed wide as he does so. You then catch Wooyoung actually hanging off of the captain, Seonghwa trying and failing to get him off until you appear, both men slowly moving away from their leader. 

The soul light slowly dims until its gone when you are now only a couple feet apart. You could feel your body slowly relaxing as you got closer to your soulmate, something you’ve never felt before. Relaxation and peace were always hard to come by when your body always seemed to take in more stimuli that you could handle.

But you felt at ease, now an arm’s length away from the person you were destined for. 

“Hello. It’s nice to meet you.” Hongjoong spoke softly as if not wanting to break the moment between you. 

“Hi.” You smile a little, wanting to show him that you were okay, that you were okay with everything. 

“Why don’t we sit, get to know each other better.” He asked you, motioning to the now vacant couch behind you, big enough for the two of you. You also noticed the sneaky glances that the other Ateez members sent each other. 

“Okay.” You smiled at the boys as you passed by them, each of them introducing themselves to you as if you didn’t just attend their concert. 

You sat down, and before Hongjoong could pick another place to sit, every single other spot than the one beside you was taken by the boys. Hongjoong just took it in stride, sitting beside you as he dramatically shakes his head and sighs at his members actions. You couldn’t help but to let out a little laugh at their actions, trying to play matchmaker between soulmates. 

It was as if they all started speaking at once, the younger members just yelling out questions for you as you sat next to Hongjoong, Seonghwa trying but failing to reign them in, even if it was a half-hearted attempt at doing so. 

You didn’t even attempt to answer, seeing as you couldn’t distinguish a single question. Instead, you just took the hand that your soulmate offered you, shyly holding it in your grasp. 

“They’re always like this. I promise, they like you already.” Hongjoong leans down and whispers into your ear. You could hear the smile and adoration in his voice, something that made you smile again. 

“It’s okay. I can get used to it. I promise, I like them too.” You whisper back, looking up at him and watching as the look of adoration switches from his members to you. 

[traumxrei-archive]

【 take me home (don’t wanna be alone anymore) 】

summary: Yuu was standing and alive, a logical part of him said. Screw being fucking logical, Leona thought spitefully, they had almost died. (or, the leonayuu mafia au where yuu almost dies and leona isn’t equipped for how that makes him feel)

word count: 1.5k | warning: suggestive content

author’s note: leonayuu except they’re both bad with feelings + in the mafia, so the only way they know how to communicate is to hurt each other. hope you enjoy ^^

[ or read on ao3 ]

It was a greeting devoid of words. Leona's eyes met theirs and his hand slipped under their shirt in an attempt to deny it. To deny the fact that Yuu had gotten injured. Yet all that Leona could feel was the expanse of bandages covering their body.

His hand mapped the wrappings, from their ribs to waist to their lower back. They winced at his grip though they kept their mouth shut while the anger burned, scalded, and tore at him.

"Off," Leona demanded, and there was a short intake of breath before their shirt was being thrown onto their bed. It was worse now that he could actually see everything.

"What the fuck," He muttered as he traced over another bandage on their arm and shoulder that he had missed.

It was...maddening. Absolutely maddening how he saw red when it came to them; when it came to the bandages scattered across their skin. Yuu was standing and alive, a logical part of him said. Screw being fucking logical, Leona thought spitefully, they had almost died.

He was sure that they were dying to speak, their sweet words of reassurance ready at the back of their throat. But before the words could escape, Leona got there first. His hand wrapped around Yuu's neck, squeezing with promise as his other hand pushed them back toward the bed. They went easily, the movements practiced though they shouldn't be. Because it was the first time he had done this, the first time that they had—

Leona forced his gaze into theirs, finding a quiet trust there. He shouldn't have felt so reassured. Bad habits always die hard, he thought as his thumb pushed Yuu's chin to the side, exposing their mercifully unmarked— unhurt— neck. His teeth itched to sink into their skin, to force them to submit, and promise that they wouldn't do something so reckless, to never disappear from his—

Yuu's throat bobbed, and raw compulsion shot through Leona like a bullet.

He caved, his lips dragging against their neck. Leona had no mind to be gentle. Not when he was seeking reassurance in the most cowardly way possible. Their heartbeat thudding under his mouth, the feel of it spiking when his teeth bit a little too hard; a little too close to tearing skin. It was all proof that they were alive. Here. Right under him. 

Cowardly, how cowardly. The crownless king who had so much but couldn't truly ever possess the one thing he wanted more than anything. Because the only way to possess a person was to cut off their wings, they were...they were Yuu.

Wonderfully vexing Yuu, whom Leona would follow to his foolish death.

"Ah–" It was the smallest sound, just a half formed thing that had barely escaped by chance, yet he greedily devoured the syllable from their lips, his fingers tangling in their hair. His other hand traced over the bandages again, the one that mapped the expanse of their side, to the one at their arm, and finally to their neck, where he knew bruises would soon bloom.

Leona pulled away, the kiss ending as abruptly as it started. The only trace that neither wanted it to end was the way their bodies were still pressed together; hovering too close to feign ignorance.

He wiped at his mouth, "Were you trying to die without my permission?" It wasn't the right thing to say. Leona knew it wasn't, but they had been playing this twisted game for so long. Ever since that day he met them in that decrepit alleyway, the day they promised to follow him with blood staining their smile. He did not know how to treat Yuu with softness, for everything they did made him burn.

"Leona," There was a half smile on those lips; this time devoid of blood. "It was an ambush. I only did what I did to keep everyone alive." Liar, Leona bit back his words. He heard that they had been targeting Yuu. And he knew it was all to get to him.

"If I didn't want you alive, I wouldn't have taken you as one of my people," Leona was surprised at how calmly his voice sounded as he spoke, even if his fingers were digging deeper into the mattress. "If I had tired of you, then maybe—"

"Leona," His brow twitched, and Yuu's hand finally brushed his hair. Did his expression betray him? "I'm sorry it escalated so far." His lips twisted into a scowl. Leona's mind couldn't help but conjure the memory yet again. 

The sirens were blaring as he pulled up to the building. It was reported to be a fire, but he knew an ambush laid in wait. Leona rushed in, gun in hand as he fought his way into the office. There were too many scattered bodies for him to see straight beyond the smoke.

And Yuu was missing. The person that had tripped the fire alarm, recklessly locking themselves in the building with the attackers.

Leona broke down the door to his office. He found it ransacked, desk full of bullet holes. There was....blood everywhere. On his chair, his papers, the couches. It was like someone wanted to make sure that everything was as bloody as it could be.

The inside of the safe was the only hiding space left to check. A numbing fear hit Leona as he entered the code. You'd think that there was no way someone could survive after losing that much blood. But against all odds, Yuu had their gun trained on the door as he entered.

Yuu had seen him.

Their eyes flickered with recognition, as their lips mouthed what was he knew was his name. And it was like their will to hold on had vanished. Their eyes slipped shut, body growing limp and already cold before he could reach them—

A warm hand touched his cheek, and he looked at them again, "If I was ever gonna die, I'll die after you die."  Something in Leona calmed considerably at the sentence. It was a platitude, plain and simple, but he couldn't shake the deep satisfied relief he felt to hear it, even if they were lying.

Leona's eyes dropped to the bandages, and again the scent of blood seemed to cloud his nose. A hand tugged at his collar and Leona was jerked closer.

Now they were frowning, "Stop it." Stop replaying it in your mind. They knew him too well for him to hide any longer.

And then they kissed him.

I'm alive, look at me, they commanded, kissing him with such bruising intensity it halted Leona's thoughts.

Stop looking at me like I'm gone, they seemed to demand, their teeth biting at his bottom lip with purpose.

They hammered the words into him, and Leona felt almost breathless at the feeling. It consumed him, until all his anger faded and all he could think about was them, their presence in front of him commanding the same gravity that the sun wielded. And Leona was nothing but a slave to their orbit, as they were to his.

There was a tremble in their hand as they held his face, a gentleness unbefitting of the aggressiveness they displayed. If he was a coward, then it seemed that they were two of a kind. Leona knew it then, as his hand brushed away a stray tear from their cheek. (Did there exist a person who was immune to the fear of death? Leona sure had never met one.)

They parted, languidly this time, and Leona lowered his head. Their hand brushed over his hair before they spoke, "My wound hurts." Leona instantly shifted his weight, lying by their side instead. "It's not your fault, dummy lion." He grunted, keeping his eyes closed as they nestled closer. They held firm onto his hands, as if they knew that they itched to run over the bandages again.

"Welcome back, Leona," Yuu murmured, the nostalgic greeting burrowing deep into his heart, finding softness where he didn't know it was capable of festering. It was late, late by the weeks it had taken for Yuu to recover and wake up, and the weeks still it took for him to track down the people who had dared to order such an operation against his right hand.

"I'm back," Leona answered, and it felt right. It was a promise, between two people whose lies would probably bite them back someday. It was was an open secret that Leona would give his life if it meant that Yuu was safe. And he was sure that Yuu would do the same, no matter how much he insisted that they shouldn’t.

But that was who they were.

Two cowards, who couldn't allow themselves the weakness of love. Two liars, guns pointed at the most vulnerable parts of each other. But for now, they were just Leona and Yuu. And they were finally home.

supplementary brainrot bc this au has been plaguing me for days:

leona’s the boss and yuu’s the right hand (and ruggie’s the left hand >:D)

the gang started off as leona, yuu, ruggie, and jack, and grew into an actual criminal organization as they grew together

in this au, leona’s family aren’t in the picture bc leona ran away from home as a teen

the reason why leona’s so protective over yuu is because they grew up together

(they met as teenagers, and after fighting n saving each other a few times, yuu does the completely normal thing of offering leona their undying loyalty, and leona responds by doing completely normal thing of telling them that they’re now 'his person’.)

+ obviously he’s madly in love with them, he just has the emotional intelligence of a grapefruit (and so does yuu. rip relationship.)

they’re both bad at admitting their feelings; leona was worried and it translated as anger, and yuu was afraid of dying, but it translated as nonchalance,,,,,they’re just little freaks (lovingly)

also songs i listened to while writing: take me home by ateez; new cydonia by starcadian; easy love by sf9; gunners in the rain by mili

thank you for reading ! if you enjoyed, check out other fics on my masterlist or ao3 <3

[whiskaedes]

Hello,

My name is Aya. I am reaching out from Gaza to seek your help in saving my family. I am raising funds to evacuate my family from war-torn Gaza. Every passing minute endangers our lives and increases our suffering, especially with the constant bombing and the lack of food and water supply. 😞😞 Please, extend a hand to save our souls and make the world hear our cry. 💔

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is (#217)✅️

Best regards,

Aya

https://gofund.me/4f615392

Let's help them too^^

[leviackermanstoes]

Requests are open!

🤞😋

Here is a list of all the things I write for!

Attack on titan.

Levi ackerman

Eren jaeger

Connie springer

Willing to write for Jean and Erwin. And titan form eren for those (me) who are super freaky for monsters🤞

Jujutsu Kaisen

Nanami kento

Geto suguru

Satoru gojo

Choso kamo

Sukuna ryomen

Yuji and megumi (aged up)

Hogwarts legacy

Sebastian sallow

Ominis gaunt

Arcane

Jayce talis

Viktor

Misc

Leon kennedy

Formula one

Celebrities.

Acotar- Any bat boy or a poly ship

ATEEZ- OT8 OR SEPERATE

I will write:

Smut

Fluff

Angst

x reader or a created oc of random.

Darker themes (excluding rape/non con or anything pedophelic) so more like stalking or a yandere or murder.

I will not write

As stated above, I will not write anything to do with rape/noncon or anything pedophelic.

Piss kink or scat kink

[ldysmfrst]

HI, wanted to check in, we didn't hear from you for a while, how are you? Btw how's American mate going, any new chapters in mind? Take care♡

Hello @sunshinecallie!! Thank you for checking in on me. Things have been kind of everywhere with the family member passing away, the broken foot, and other things.

American Mate: Chapter 8 will be posted a little later this morning. I am very excited to see how it will be received by all of my dear readers. I am already working on Chapter 9, which is currently counting at over 8k words.

Breaking and Entering: Chapter 8 was waiting for a Patreon Membership poll to be completed before I could start writing it. So that will start soon.

I am also working on a One-Shot, which may end up being a Mini-Series, which was requested of me by a Patreon Membership holder for an Ateez San x Plus sized y/n. That is currently at over 5k words.

Again thank you so very much for checking in on me. I hope you are doing well and will enjoy the upcoming content!

💜💜💜

[ldysmfrst]

I have a request~ what about San from Ateez getting paired up on a variety show with a designer that is getting popular in South Korea?? For plus size fashion? And I can totally see him just falling head over heels for her~ ^-^

Hello, my dearest reader!

I was so excited to write this for you. You have been my main support for a long time when it comes to my writing. Your thoughts and support are invaluable to me.

I am sorry it took so long to write it, but it is finally done!

Was it Fate?

I hope it is what you were looking for! This was my first time making a reader request and my first time writing a variety show-type fic!

[vcutparis]

i think i am Healed. i felt recognized here wow. warms hugs for u author! (spoilers in the tags)

subtle variations of heartbreak (index)

Summary:  a series of stand alone one-shots depicting every kind of heartbreak you will undoubtedly experience in your 20s

Pairing: fem. reader x Ateez

Genre: college au, high school au, oh boy lovers to exes, unrequited love, friends with benefits, like a whole lotta angst read with caution, fluff, smut

Warnings: a LOT of insecurity talk, sexual content, cheating, trust issues, communication warnings idk i’ll add if theres anything else

A/N: this will be a short series, one chapter for each member. they can be read as stand-alones but they’re all tied together kinda. i’ll warn you right now i doubt you will like any of these characters because theyre all going to break your heart so… idk when i’ll post the first part, maybe tomorrow or later on in the week. 

if anyone would like to be added to the taglist just dm me :)

MY  MAIN MASTERLIST!

INDEX:

1. The First Love

drabbles: this is what i have to do

2. The Hookup Buddy

3. The Blind Sider

drabbles: (don’t wanna) be responsible

4. The Game Changer

drabbles: dream of her

5. The One That Got Away

drabbles: the winner takes it all

6. When You End It

drabbles: messy as you want

7. Friends Can Break Your heart Too

8. The Cheater

drabbles: no good

                part-time lovers

9. The One 

drabbles : (not) my baby

                 still into you

                 sleepover

[minkiverse]

PARK SEONGHWA FIC RECS

Poly!Ateez Pt. 1 - Pt. 2 - Kim Hongjoong - Jeong Yunho - Kang Yeosang - Choi San - Song Mingi - Jung Wooyoung - Choi Jongho

HWA TIME!! A man who is so earth shatteringly gorgeous of course gets written incredibly by atiny 😩 like this man is just art!! As always, I hope you enjoy and support these authors!!

Dividers by @iluvpooks

DISCLAIMER none of these works are mine and majority are MATURE 18+, please read all warnings before reading!!!

Key:

✨ - My Favs

🔥 - Smut (MINORS DNI)

⛈️ - Angst

💗 - Fluff

🍑 - Humor

SERIES

New Horizons - @fivestar-outlaw 🔥⛈️💗 Idol AU

this is just the cutest series!! like meeting him through animal crossing is the most adorable meet cute i want to cry 😭😭 we all deserve a lil bit of delusion as a treat asfgdssfgdf

The Way to His Heart - @edenesth ⛈️💗Joseon Period ✧ Arranged Marriage AU

im a big BIG fan of historical au's and i just loved reading hwa falling for the mc and then doing everything he can to destroy the people that hurt her 😩😩 that kind of devotion is just soooooooo attractive😍😍 it kinda reminds me of the anime My Happy Marriage (which i did not finish OTL) but if you enjoyed that i think you will love this~~

Wallflower pt. 2 pt. 3 pt. 4 - @tenelkadjowrites 🔥⛈️💗 Office AU

seonghwa is mc's nerdy coworker but boy can he fuck 😩😩😩 the smut in this is 🤌🤌 but honestly this fic is so much more than that and how the mc changes and grows as a person because of hwa's influence is so enjoyable to read i just love them 🥹🥹

Sans - @songmingisthighs ⛈️💗🍑 SMAU ✧ Childhood Friends AU

this author really knows how to break my heart 😭😭😭 definitely be aware of trigger warnings for some chapters!!! but this fic was also so wholesome?? like i just love the mc and how they grow from the events of the story 🥹🥹 SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO SAN AND WOO!!!!

ONE SHOTS/DRABBLES/ETC

sycophant - @ncteez ✨🔥 Business AU

there will always be boss x employee fics BUT this take on it 🤌🤌🤌 hwa is just so attractively straight forward and him teaching the mc on how to dom him is truly just so fucking hot i could scream 😩😩

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Hybrid AU

The Thing About Pretty Boys - @wonusite ✨🔥 Friends to Lovers AU

never say seonghwa can't fuck.... or maybe do bcs this man goes fucking feral 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i had like a full body physical reaction to how hwa is written in this fic 😩😩 like this is so filthy in the hottest way possible

Dune - @hongism 🔥 Outlaw AU ✧ Biker AU

Untitled - @orgverse 🔥 Sci-fi AU

Warning Signs EP. 1: The Showman - @mphountitled 🔥Rebellion AU

Everyday at the Bus Stop - @tenelkadjowrites 🔥💗

persistent desire - @bro-atz 🔥 College AU

Untitled - @k-hotchoisan 🔥

Red Dress - @wooyoungiewritings ✨🔥⛈️💗 Enemies to Lovers AU

i love a holiday/winter themed fic ok sue me 🫵🫵 its just COZY and this hwa drives me up the wall 😩😩 he's such a charming lil shit and the banter is soooooo good 🫠🫠 i looooooooove this couple!!!!!!!

Scattered bunny!seonghwa thoughts - @thetypingpup 🔥 Hybrid AU

Morning sex with Seonghwa - @k-hotchoisan 🔥

Untitled - @sxcret-garden 🔥

realistic sex with seonghwa - @byuntrash101 🔥

VIP Access - @hwashotcheeto 🔥 Idol AU

multiple??? - @lomlhwa 🔥 Hybrid AU

I Can See You - @daemour 🔥⛈️💗 Single Father!Hwa

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Hybrid AU

heavy and sticky - @k-hotchoisan 🔥

Untitled - @cheollipop 🔥

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥

belong to me - @ateezscupid 🔥⛈️ Idol AU

Untiled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Dragon!Teez ✧ Sugar Mommy AU

Untitled - @bombuni 💗

Honest (But Happy) Accident - @ad0rechuu 💗College AU

amazing grace - @yoongiseesawmp3 🔥⛈️💗 Church Boy!Hwa

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Bad Boy!Hwa

paradigm - @yoongiseesawmp3 ✨🔥 Bartender AU

switch!hwa nuff said 🤤🤤🤤 no but how this author does banter is just so good like idk even know how explain it because it feels so natural and charming and the smut is so fucking good like im in love with hwa and the mc ?????

The Heart's Filthy Lesson - @tenelkadjowrites 🔥⛈️ Toxic BFF!Hwa

Untitled - @hee0soo 🔥

Damnation of a Saint - @byuntrash101 🔥 7 Deadly Sins AU

My Little Empress - @holybibly 🔥 Historical AU ✧ Arranged Marriage AU

the lamb and the wolf - @seonghwaddict 🔥💗 Hades!Hwa

Make Me Water - @bangtanintotheroom 🔥 Friends to Lovers AU

Untitled - @thetypingpup 🔥 Cyberpunk AU

mirror mirror on the wall, who's the filthiest of them all - @almightyddeonghwa 🔥 Idol AU

boyfriend texts - @beenbaanbuun 🍑

[leirastar]

new world | chapter 6

Pairing: Ot8 Ateez x reader AU: fantasy AU | stranger -> mates Summary: A tragic accident left you unable to use your wings and, with that, claimed your father's life, leaving you in the care of your noble uncle. In Hala, a house of eight kingdoms, each boasting its own wonders, you never imagined that amidst the pain, you would also fall—this time, in love. Word Count: 2.2k | 10 minutes A/n: SOOO...a TMI! I am actually a pretty chill person. but when it comes to work and writing i need at least 5 chapter planned before uploading a chapter. That is why i currently have about chapter 11 drafted already. Also this is quite amusing but I LIKE WORKING. It gives me a sense of purpose hihi, sometimes its stressful but it gives me joy. Anyways, i hope you enjoy this! Warning: JUST YUNHO AND MC BEING CUTE BYE.

Your breath caught, the weight of his words settling over you like the last rays of the sun clinging to the earth. The sincerity in his tone left no room for teasing or denial—just the quiet truth of what he’d said.

He looked ahead again, his expression gentler than before, as if he was choosing every word carefully.

“I just… hope you’ll always come back to me.”

The words were quiet but unwavering, heavy with an honesty that made your chest tighten. Yunho wasn’t a man prone to insecurity or doubt. It wasn’t possessiveness in his voice—there was only sincerity, a calm and unshakable certainty that you had come to associate with him.

You swallowed, your throat suddenly tight. “Where else would I go?”

“You could go anywhere,” Yunho replied softly, his gaze flickering toward you once more. “You could leave the outskirts for Caius’s capital, where they’d call you a healer fit for kings. Or maybe even Reed, where your name would carry across the mountains.” He paused then, his voice dropping lower. “And yet, here you are.”

Your lips parted, but for a moment, you couldn’t find the words. Yunho had a way of saying things—of weaving meaning into the quiet spaces between sentences—that left you feeling caught in something deeper than you had realized.

“I like it here,” you said softly, finally. “The quiet. The fields. I don’t need more than that.”

His gaze lingered on you, soft and unspoken thoughts swirling in the gold of his eyes. “Good,” he murmured, his voice a touch quieter. “Because I’ll keep coming back, as long as you’ll have me.”

A breath you didn’t realize you were holding escaped, something warm curling in your chest. “And where else would you go, Yunho?”

He tilted his head slightly, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I think you know the answer to that.”

The wind picked up, carrying a chill, but you hardly noticed. The rest of the ride passed in silence, but this time, it wasn’t heavy—it was warm, lingering like the last rays of sunlight stretching across the hills. Every time Yunho’s gaze flickered toward you, lingering just a moment too long, your heart stumbled over itself, and the world felt quieter—easier—because he was there. When you finally spoke, your voice was softer than before. “You don’t need to worry about them.” Yunho exhaled quietly, as though those words had loosened some invisible knot within him. “Good”

The rest of the ride unfolded in silence, but it was a different kind of quiet now—warm, lingering, and filled with all the things neither of you had said. The golden light softened as the sun melted into the horizon, casting long shadows across the hills, and you couldn’t help but feel that Yunho’s words, too, would linger well after the light had faded.

Yunho suddenly pulled his horse to a stop, the movement so abrupt it startled you. You turned to look at him, brow furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he glanced toward the horizon, where the sun was beginning its slow descent. “Let’s enjoy the sunset together,” he said softly, his voice carrying an almost wistful note. His gaze flicked to the saddlebag. “I have blankets—and a some bread the hospital gave us.”

You blinked in surprise, but a smile crept onto your face before you could stop it. “You planned this?”

“Not entirely.” He shrugged, dismounting with ease before turning to help you down. “I’m just good at making use of what’s given to me.”

The teasing tone in his voice brought a laugh to your lips, and you allowed him to lift you gently off your horse. Together, you walked a short distance to a familiar hilltop where the world seemed to open up before you.

The sky was painted in hues of gold, violet, and deepening blue, the light spilling like liquid fire across the valley below. It was beautiful, the kind of quiet that settled deep into your bones, where even the soft rustling of the wind felt reverent.

Yunho laid out the blanket as you unpacked the bread and a small cloth-wrapped bundle of fruit. The hospital nurses had been generous, as if they’d known you’d need this moment.

You sat down beside Yunho, the edges of the blanket soft beneath your fingers as the cool evening air brushed against your cheeks. He sat close, one knee bent, his long frame relaxed though his expression remained contemplative. The silence stretched comfortably between you until he broke it, his voice soft.

“I’m sorry,” he said suddenly, the words quiet but certain.

You turned to him, brows furrowing. “For what?”

“For not coming as often.” Yunho’s gaze remained on the horizon, where the last edge of the sun kissed the earth. “Things in Hala are… complicated. Someone is stirring trouble.”

Your smile faded. “And you’re involved in it?”

He exhaled quietly, his shoulders shifting. “I’m trying not to be,” he said. “But it’s hard to avoid.”

you had to ask him.

You turned toward him then, your voice soft but deliberate. “Would you answer me the truth, my lord?”

Yunho’s gaze flickered to you, his brows lifting faintly at the sudden question. “What is it you wish to know?”

You hesitated, watching him closely. “I couldn’t help but pry after your injury…” You exhaled carefully, choosing your words. “Are you really just a messenger, Yunho?”

At that, his face shifted, his expression turning carefully stoic—too still, too composed. “Yes,” he said simply, his voice steady, though the edge of it sounded practiced.

But you weren’t convinced.

“You’re certain?” you pressed, narrowing your eyes slightly. “Because if you were just a mere messenger, my lord…” You paused, holding his gaze. “Dare I ask why you would be struck by a Goretherion bloom?”

For the faintest moment, something flickered across Yunho’s features—an emotion too quick to catch before it disappeared behind his mask of calm. He looked ahead then, his jaw tight.

“It doesn’t matter,” he replied quietly, though there was tension in the words. “It’s difficult to explain.”

“Difficult?” you repeated, leaning toward him slightly. “You speak in riddles, my lord.”

Yunho’s gaze snapped back to you, sharp yet softened by the way the gold in his eyes seemed to melt under the twilight. For a beat, he said nothing. Then, with a slowness that made your heart stutter, his hand came to your cheek, his thumb brushing softly against your skin. The all familiar sparks seem to sweep through your skin like ice.

“It doesn’t matter,” he murmured, his voice low and steady, as if trying to anchor the moment between you. “I’ll keep you safe. You have my word.”

The weight of his touch, the quiet resolve in his voice—it stilled you completely. You stared at him, searching his expression, but Yunho’s gaze held yours without wavering. There was something unshakable about him in that moment, something that felt like both a shield and a promise.

“But Yunho…” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

“Trust me,” he said softly, cutting you off before you could question further. His hand lingered on your cheek a moment longer, warm and sure, before he let it fall back to his side.

You exhaled slowly, the air heavy between you, full of things unsaid and unanswered. The Goretherion bloom—the trouble in Hala—none of it made sense, and yet, when Yunho looked at you like that, it was impossible not to believe him.

You murmured at last, your voice just above a whisper.

“I trust you.”

Yunho nodded as he teared his gaze from you. He turned to you then, his expression softening. Reaching into his muted gray cloak, he withdrew a small, velvet-wrapped box.

“What’s this?” you asked, blinking in surprise.

Yunho’s expression remained unreadable as he said simply, “Take it.”

The weight of his words made you pause before you carefully reached out, fingers brushing against the fine box. The bundle was small, its weight firm but reassuring, and when you pulled back the edges, the world seemed to slow.

Resting inside was an ornate pendant—elegant and intricate. Its delicate gold framework curved in swirling, nature-inspired motifs, adorned with clusters of sparkling diamonds that caught the light like scattered stardust. Suspended at the center of the design sat a striking blue sapphire, deep and mesmerizing, its facets gleaming like the heart of a midnight sea. Below, a teardrop-shaped sapphire hung gracefully, encased in a halo of smaller diamonds, its rich indigo hue streaked with faint glimmers of lighter blue, as though it held the reflection of a tranquil night sky.

Your breath caught, the beauty of it leaving you momentarily speechless. “It’s beautiful,” you whispered, your fingers brushing the smooth surface of the stone.

But even as you admired it, something stirred in the back of your mind—a quiet, undeniable realization. You knew what this meant. In Reed, courtships were steeped in tradition, subtle but significant gestures woven into every action. Gifting family jewels was one of the most profound gestures of all, especially when the jewels were as rare as this. A pendant like this, one polished to perfection and set with a stone this flawless, was not something given lightly.

You glanced up at Yunho, the weight of the pendant suddenly far heavier in your palm. “This looks…” You paused, searching for the right word.

Personal.

Yunho tilted his head slightly, watching you with a faint smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It caught my eye in the capital.”

A beat of silence. You heard the lie in his voice as clearly as if he’d spoken it aloud—the softness of his tone, the way his gaze lingered just a moment too long.

Carefully, you reached out, taking the pendant fully into your hands. It was cool to the touch, the weight of it pressing gently against your skin, but its significance—what it represented—settled even deeper.

You looked up at him, your voice quiet but certain. “You’re lying.”

Yunho’s brows lifted in faint surprise, but the teasing smirk you had come to know so well returned, soft and unreadable. “Lying?”

“Yes.” You turned the pendant carefully, letting the fading light catch on its surface. “This isn’t just something you found in the capital.”

Yunho’s smirk faded slightly, though his pride held steady in the stubborn line of his jaw. He looked at the pendant, then back at you, his voice quieter this time. “It belonged to my mother.”

Your fingers stilled against the stone, your chest tightening as the words registered. “Your mother?”

Yunho nodded, his expression calm but his eyes betraying something deeper—something unspoken. “It was hers. She kept it close. And now I want you to have it.”

You stared at him, stunned, the air between you suddenly too heavy with meaning. You knew what this pendant symbolized. It wasn’t just a trinket or a gesture—it was a promise, a silent question that waited patiently for an answer.

“I can’t accept this,” you said softly, though your voice wavered with uncertainty.

“You can, please” Yunho countered firmly, his tone brooking no argument.

He stepped closer then, the space between you shrinking, his presence both grounding and overwhelming. Yunho held the pendant between his fingers, his touch brushing against yours as he took it, lingering just long enough to send heat curling through you.

“May I?” His voice was low, a quiet murmur that hung in the air, reverent and steady.

You swallowed, your heart hammering in your chest. “Yes,” you breathed, the word slipping past your lips before you could stop it.

Yunho moved behind you, each step deliberate, as though afraid the moment might break. You sat perfectly still, breath caught in your chest, your entire body attuned to the faint rustle of his cloak and the warmth radiating off him.

Gently, his hands swept your hair to the side, calloused fingertips brushing against the bare skin at the nape of your neck. The touch was fleeting—innocent, almost—but it was enough to make you shiver. And then you felt it: his breath.

Warm and soft, it ghosted across your skin as he lingered, clasping the chain with steady hands. It sent a ripple of shivers coursing through you, pooling at the base of your spine as your fingers curled into the fabric of your skirt.

Yunho was quiet, focused, but the closeness—the deliberate slowness of his movements—was impossibly intimate. The pendant’s chain was cool where it brushed against your collarbone, a contrast to the heat rising up your neck and settling in your cheeks.

You inhaled shakily, the sound embarrassingly loud in the silence, just as his knuckles grazed your neck again—soft and unintentional, yet devastating all the same.

The click of the clasp finally broke the stillness, but Yunho lingered for a moment longer, his breath still there, stirring goosebumps across your skin. When he pulled back, you released a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

Yunho returned to his seat, his golden-brown gaze lingering on you as the pendant settled against your chest. His voice was low, the words soft but steady.

“It suits you.”

Your fingers brushed against the pendant again, the smooth surface cool against your skin. But before you could respond, Yunho's voice broke through the quiet once more, softer this time, as though he were speaking a truth he’d kept hidden.

“With this,” he murmured, his gaze unwavering,

“I’ll always come back. No matter where I am, no matter what happens… I will find my way back to you. And I will always protect you.”

Masterlist

five | seven

Taglist (CLOSED):

@pinkpearlstar @deltamoon666 @kyra1205 @hecateslittlewitchlingdumplingsyum @caratiny-latte @seongwars @halloweenbyphoebebridgers @angelqueendom

@ffenjoyerdazme @lostxxgirl @xh01bri @neemaxx @furfoxsake22 @Thejentheredhead @soulphoenix1618 @pixie0627

@laurtiny112 @innocygnet @the-first-mate @miniverse-zen @katyeongs @nuggiesnuggetdog04 @sweetmoonlight9 @staytinyluv @bluesiebirdie @kaqua @ateezaddict24 @bamdoe @kandy108 @pixie0627 @bunnii-dolls @kheartost @xlilehx @lalelol @Tiny2018 @salnovna @roryy95 @fairylover68 @meowmeeps @awkward-fucking-thing @blackandgreenandblue @moniesmoon @skteezcursed

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (13)

ー☆ Chapter 13: You Know Me Too Well

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: cursing, usage of the word 'bitch' ー☆ Word count: 6.5k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Well, well, lovelies...new chapter is up and maybe I'm kind of kicking my feet??? Who knows, we'll see what y'all think of this chapter hehe. Also, happy birthday to Song Mingi?! I actually didn't mean to post the new chapter today, but today was the only day I had enough time to write it sooo, yeah. Tmi, but MC's mother is exactly like my mom, so maybe I drew inspiration from real life lol, I love her to death but sometimes I really wish SHE DIDNT SPEAK lol. Also, I'm so obsessed with today's song for the chapter; I'm screaming, crying, throwing up over it LOL. Just a heads up, next chapter is the last like actual chapter of the series and then I decided to add an epilogue lol cue the sobbing. As per usual, listen to You Know Me Too Well before or while reading the chapter! I hope you enjoy and let me know through feedback hehe <3 Enjoy your weekends! divider

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red

@sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng

@deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf

@hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380 @xciiiomwliah @vixensss

@catchingskzzzs @tesssaurrr @ginger-mingi @mingisbbg

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

            Saturday (2:55 pm)

Me: mingi can we talk?

Saturday (8:30 pm)

Me: i am free whenever you say so just let me know and i’ll be there

            Sunday (9:15 am)

Me: we need to talk, mingi.

            Sunday (12:08 am)

Me: please hear me out im sorry

Monday (current time)

            “Do you think he’ll slam the door in my face?” The hallways were buzzing with life as I tried to veer my way around the crowd of students without running into anyone. Today, out of all days, I just so happened to have my last class of the day in a completely different building and at least a good five-minute walk away from the arts building.

“It’s what you’d deserve, to be fair, but—” The was a gasp on the other side of the phone and my eyebrows furrowed as Seulgi muttered something to someone, muffled, “sorry, Wooyoung almost dropped my mother’s favorite vase, I told him to take off that blindfold.”

Eyebrows furrowing even deeper, I abruptly stopped walking, making a girl give me a heated glare that I didn’t care for, “Why is he blindfolded? Wait! I actually don’t want to know.”

“We were playing hide and seek with his niece, you idiot, but I got bored and sneaked away when I saw you calling.” Seulgi’s voice was exasperated and I chuckled as I took off again, leaving the science major’s building as I nuzzled further into my thick scarf. Some days it was warmer, but most days it got really cold and I hated it. I couldn’t deal with the freezing weather, perhaps it was my biggest enemy after Jeong Yunho, “Anyways, as I was saying, you deserve to be ignored by Mingi, but knowing how big of a sucker he is for you, he’ll probably give in before you can utter a single word.”

My heart jumped at the thought as I gnawed on my bottom lip, cutting off the path as I hurried through the grass, uncaring that I was probably destroying the work of the gardener. Besides, the grass had barely just started growing out again, it would be fine, “You think so?”

“I know so.” I heard Wooyoung’s high-pitched voice shouting from the distance and my eyebrows furrowed as I realized Seulgi had probably put me on speaker. Now that was a bit awkward, “He’s an idiot, but he’s in love. Now that I come to think of it, you two are a lot alike, two idiots in love—”

“I believe your niece is looking for you, babe.” Seulgi cut her boyfriend off and I was thankful because I don’t think I could’ve handled hearing him say the words ‘in love’ again. That was scary, even just the thought of it. I was barely coming to terms with liking Mingi, but hearing the word love sort of made me want to turn back around and abandon my whole plan of trying to make peace between the two of us. And Seulgi knew this, thankfully, because she didn’t say anything about it again, “Are you on your way to his studio right now?”

I hummed and curled my fingers tighter around the thermos bottle, my nose cold from the weather as the arts building finally came into sight, “Yeah, three minutes and I’m there.”

“Good.” Seulgi sounded content and I sighed as I tried to ignore the dawning anxiety that tried to crawl through my body and make me abandon my well-thought-out plan. I had to do this. Seulgi and my mom were right, I couldn’t mess this up again. I liked Mingi, a lot. He is a good guy and I shouldn’t let my past and my fears dictate my life. Yes, Mingi is Yunho’s best friend, but Mingi isn’t like Yunho. Hopefully, “Update me later then, I love you Y/N, I hope you know that.”

I chuckled and nodded at the security guard as he was out of his cubicle, standing at the bottom of the steps, smoking his cigar, “I know, thank you for knocking some sense into me.”

“We’ll see about that later.” Her snort was amused and I shook my head as we said our goodbyes, the warmth of the building making me sigh out in relief as I entered through the front doors. I pocketed my phone and unwrapped my scarf from around my neck, greeting the familiar people I crossed paths with. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling nervous at all, after all, I didn’t know how Mingi would react. If he was anything like me, he wouldn’t forgive me so easily. Not when I’ve hurt him again and in the worst way possible.

As I ascended the marble stairs, I found stability in the thermos bottle clutched firmly in both of my hands now, its weight helping me to keep my determination and focus on going through with my own plan. When I woke this morning and went to take a quick shower, I was surprised to hear my mother’s singing and smell the delicious waft of pancakes, making my stomach growl loudly as I didn’t have dinner the night before. It seemed like my mother had taken a day off, grumbling something about her deserving a day to rest after she was almost choked out by one of her mentally ill patients. I couldn’t help but agree with her as we sat at the table in silence, enjoying our breakfast, that is until she cleared her throat loudly and stood up, fetching a mug and a cup from the counter next to the sink. I froze when I realized she was handing me the cup Mingi had designed with funny looking chicks on it, and I was even more confused when I realized it wasn’t coffee I was drinking, but hot chocolate.

“So, what are you going to do about that handsome fella?” I tried not to groan or regret the fact that I told her everything about Mingi. I took a tentative sip of the hot chocolate and realized it wasn’t hot before taking a bigger gulp as I enjoyed its sweet taste.

“I’ll talk to him today—”

“Great!” My mother didn’t even let me finish as she sprung up from her seat again to fetch something from a cupboard, “It’s amazing how strong our maternal intuition is, I swear my starlight, you should make some babies soon.”

“Mom.” I groaned as I watched her curiously as she took a blue thermos bottle from the cupboard and filled it with hot chocolate from the kettle, “We’ve had this discussion many times before, I’m not having children so young.”

“You’re not that young though.” She sent me a sheepish smile as my eyes widened, feigning hurt.

“I’m turning twenty-three?! How is that not young?” She cleared her throat as she sealed the thermos and walked back to the table to sit down.

“I’m just trying to inspire you, anyways,” She huffed and then placed the thermos on the table and pushed it towards me, “Bring this to him as peace offering, he’ll love it. Trust me.”

“I don’t think what Mingi needs right now is hot chocolate—”

“Finish your breakfast and shut up.” My mother didn’t let me finish as she cut off a thick part of the pancake with her fork and forced it inside my mouth, making me groan, “Mothers know best when it comes to stuff like this, be thankful I’m saving your relationship and be back before lunch. I’m ordering take out, and I certainly am not waiting for late your ass if I’m hungry.”

I knew fighting my mom was fruitless, so I just grumbled an okay as I tried to chew the pancake she had forced in my mouth, my cheeks all puffed out. My mother seemed content that I finally wasn’t talking back to her and I shook my head as I pulled the thermos bottle towards me, reminded of the time when Mingi had brought me tea knowing that I would be feeling probably a little sick after getting all soaked in the cold rain and harsh wind.

So, now, with Mingi’s clothes in my tote bag and the thermos filled with hot chocolate in my hands, I couldn’t help but feel optimistic despite the anxiety gripping at my thoughts. If my mother, Seulgi, and even Wooyoung—who knew Mingi like the back of his hand—were convinced that everything would work out just fine, then why would I not believe that? Sure, Mingi was probably still annoyed at me, but I didn’t think a few apologies and even more explanations couldn’t fix the issue at hand. All I had to do was be honest and come clean with my feelings and he’d probably do the same and then—that’s where anxiety stepped in. Then what? Was I ready to pursue a relationship? Did Mingi want to date me? Did I want to date him? Why did it have to be Jeong Yunho’s best friend I was into? Why could I not move past my fears and stop associating Mingi with everything I was wounded by, when he never once made me feel like Yunho did? I could dwell on these thoughts for an eternity, I fear, but I didn’t have that time right now. And to be fair, I didn’t want to think of such things right now because I could feel my determination wither the closer I got to the music majors’ floor, heartbeat loud in my ears.

I stopped at the end of the hallway and took a deep breath, eyes settling on the studio I knew now was used by Mingi only. Wooyoung was nice enough to tell me the number of his studio—not that I had forgotten since the last time I was here—and he also let me know that it was used by Mingi only, the teachers having granted him full access, even at hours when students were supposed to be at home. It seems so Mingi was a favorite amongst the teachers, and I could see why. He was diligent and hard-working; his lyrics were beautiful and nothing would stop him from fulfilling his dream of becoming a well-known rockstar. I couldn’t help but feel excited at the prospect of that, and hoped that I would be part of his journey, that he’d let me back into his life.

Steeling my nerves and trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I knew there was no turning back. I wanted to do this, I had to do this. I had to stop sabotaging myself, and so, I marched down the hallway towards Mingi’s studio with a newfound hope and determination. Which lasted about five seconds as I came face to face with Mingi’s studio door. There was a small window on it, which would let you know whether the room was occupied or not, and it was straight across the desk where he was sat at—with the blonde girl standing right next to him. And that should have been okay, because really, Mingi could talk to whoever and spend his time also with whoever he pleased. And it’s not like I didn’t have male friends—I didn’t, Seulgi was my only friend—it’s not like he couldn’t speak to one of his fans. After all, he’s made it clear she was nothing more than a fan he appreciated for helping spread the word about his band.

But then, why was her hand on his shoulder one second and the next second slowly trailing down the sleeve of his beige cardigan—which looked like it was messily stained with paint—and certainly the way my good disposal dissipated and was overtaken by blind jealousy and rage had nothing to do with the sudden possessiveness that shook me to my core. And perhaps the thing that bothered me the most wasn’t even her feeling up Mingi’s arm as she looked down at him with sultry eyes, perhaps it was the way Mingi leaned back in his chairs, legs spread wide, and smirk on his lips as he looked up at her with his sharp gaze, allowing her to touch him. Perhaps that’s what sent me over the edge as I barged inside the studio in the most unceremonious way, making the girl yelp in fright and Mingi flinch as his eyes widened.

『Baby, you're all that I want

I want you all to myself

Oh, but you know me too well』

And when I was angry—or panicking, or hurt—all rational thoughts flew out the window as I was led by nothing else but pure instinct and a shit ton of unclear and not so necessarily nice thoughts. Simpler put, I wasn’t thinking nor making sense, but I couldn’t care less as I glared at the both of them while I struggled to mask the fury licking at my veins. They were both looking at me wide eyed, as if I had caught them doing something I wasn’t supposed to, and that made me snap before I could think through how to proceed with this whole shitshow, “Get out.”

For a second, even I didn’t recognize my voice as it dropped a few octaves, fierce gaze set on the blonde girl as she paled, eyes scrambling between Mingi and me as, suddenly, Mingi seemed to snap out of whatever scare I had given him by slamming his door open and into the wall. God, I hope I haven’t actually damaged it, because I certainly didn’t have the money to pay for it right now. I couldn’t look at the blonde girl anymore, heart beating fast in my chest as Mingi and I made eye contact, his eyebrows set in a deep frown as he had a sneer on his face.

“Excuse me?” God, even her voice was annoying. I looked back at the blonde girl and raised my eyebrows at her mockingly.

“Are you deaf?” I chuckled, but it was humorless, “Do I need to repeat myself?”

She huffed, looking offended—rightfully so—and I gritted my teeth as I stepped inside the studio, making it pretty obvious that I wasn’t going anywhere before this bitch left. I tried not to see red as Mingi’s hands balled up into fists or the way the girl snickered, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“You’re the one that’s barged inside uninvited, sweetheart,” And if I could have, I would have ripped her blonde strands out, “this isn’t your fucking studio, so, shut up. Mingi wants me here, maybe you should leave.”

I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing, somewhere deep in my mind realizing I looked absolutely psychotic and if Mingi didn’t hate me before, he certainly would hate me now. I wasn’t helping myself; I was making everything worse—just the usual, then. But this bitch wasn’t stopping me from getting what I came here for, and I hummed as my eyes fell on Mingi again, who’s jaw was clenching and unclenching. His sharp eyes were narrowed, but it seemed like he wasn’t saying anything anytime soon and that only pissed me off more.

“Sure,” I nodded and walked further inside, forcefully throwing my tote bag on the small couch against the wall on my left, making the contents of it spill out. I watched as both Mingi and the girl looked at the clothes, and Mingi’s expression flashed with something unreadable for a second, “Mingi wants you here.”

I suppose neither expected me not to stop until I reached the desk, coming up on Mingi’s left side as I slammed the thermos bottle—albeit too harshly—against the desk, a loud bang echoing in the room. Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed as I opened my mouth to tell the girl to leave again, but suddenly, he was up on his feet, staring me down. The height difference wasn’t that great between the two of us, but suddenly I felt small under his heated glare and sneer that seemed to settle on his lips, broad shoulders intimidating as he lowered his head just a little bit. He looked nothing like the Mingi I had gotten to know over the past few months, and it made my heart race as I realized I might not be able to reason with him today, “What the fuck is your problem, Y/N?! You tell her to get out when you barge in unwelcomed, and then start demanding for her to leave—”

I couldn’t even let him finish his sentence before I was firing back my argument, “Oh, what’s my fucking problem?! Maybe the fact that you lied to me?”

“About what?!” Mingi snapped, eyebrows furrowed as he took a step towards me, his body big enough to make the blonde girl not be seen behind him.

“Oh, be for real.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes, “You never show anyone your songs to? But you so conveniently let me listen to that unfinished song of yours and now look who else gets to listen to it? Her. If you’re so desperate to get laid, you should have—”

“I didn’t show her shit.” Mingi cut me off, voice shaking as his cheeks grew red from anger, probably. Mingi wasn’t a scary person, but he looked scary right now. There was no ounce of kindness in his expression nor tone, he looked cold and angry and like he hated me. I gulped and realized, once again, that I was digging myself deeper into the shithole I had created for myself, that I was hurting him again and again. This is not how things were supposed to go, “I only showed you. That unfinished song you’re talking about, only you know about it. Thanks for reminding me again why I shouldn’t deal with you anymore—”

“Stop it.” I snapped, eyebrows furrowing as I felt fear grip at my throat, making my voice sound shaky as Mingi’s expression went blank. I hated when he did that. I wanted to know what he was thinking about, I needed to see what he felt. I couldn’t do this if he withdrew himself, I couldn’t do this if I was the only one that would bare her heart to him. I was scared. He was pushing me away like Yunho had done, Mingi was abandoning me.

“Stop it?” If I wanted to cry when he laughed in my face mockingly, impassive smirk settling on his lips, I didn’t let it happen. I kept my composure, anger, hurt, desperation, yearning all mixing together as I found it harder and harder to breathe, “You want me to be nice to you after all the shit you said to me on Saturday? You want me to treat you like before after everything that’s happened? I can’t. You hurt me, made me feel like a fucking idiot, Y/N, you broke—I thought we were friends. I feel disrespected and played, and yet here you are again, acting like you have even an ounce of right to act the way you are right now, when it’s you who made it so fucking clear you want nothing to do with me anymore. Do you enjoy making others suffer? Do you want to see me on my fucking knees begging for your attention? I have enough self-respect to step back and move on with my life when someone so blatantly tells it to my face that I am nothing—”

“But you aren’t!” My tone raised without me meaning to as my heart continued to beat out of my chest so fast my ears started ringing. I felt tears prick at my eyes, but I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to victimize myself, I just wanted Mingi to understand I made a mistake, that I knew I did, and that I was trying to fix things. I didn’t want us to part ways, especially not like this, he made me realize this second that I didn’t want to lose him, “You aren’t nothing to me. I said those things because I’m scared. I don’t know how to navigate these feelings—”

“Save it, okay?” I was left gaping as Mingi shook his head, pushing his hands in the pockets of his light denim jeans, “I don’t want to hear whatever sob shit you have to say right now, I’m asking you kindly to leave before I call security and delete my number, like I have deleted yours.”

The silence that settled upon us was deafening and my eyebrows furrowed as a tear rolled down my cheek without warning, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I tried to find my breath. That hurt, it hurt more than anything before, it hurt more than when Yunho left me, broke my heart. Mingi meant so much more to me than Yunho ever did, and I bit my lower lip as Mingi seemed unaffected, expression blank and rather bored. Nothing was making sense anymore. I was scared, but I also felt ready to break free of the chains of the past, I wanted Mingi. And knowing all this, I didn’t want to hold back anymore, I didn’t want to consider my next words anymore. I just wanted to speak my mind freely.

“My ex-boyfriend is Jeong Yunho, your best friend.” Mingi had almost turned away from me, but he froze, head slowly turning back to face me once again, “We dated back in high school, many years ago, when we were still some headless and stupid teenagers. But he was the first boy I’ve ever loved and he fucking broke my heart, shattered into pieces with a bright smile on his lips. He promised me many things, and I was naïve, so I believed it all. And because I did, I ended up hurt beyond fixing and I’ve never trusted a man again. He was my first boyfriend and the center of my universe, yet he never cared enough about me to properly break up with me.

“Yunho talked about you all the time. Everything you liked, everything you hated, you were part of our daily conversations and I always wished to meet you, to see what was so great in you that had Yunho gushing all the time. I was jealous, so jealous that I became bitter. I started hating even the mention of your name, I selfishly wanted Yunho to myself, and you gone from his life. I couldn’t understand what was so great about you and why I wasn’t enough. I knew Yunho didn’t love me, but I wanted him to, so I made myself believe it, believe that I was worth more to him than you’ll ever be. And in the process, I stupidly made myself believe that he’d never leave me, that he was the one for me like he has said so many times before.

“He broke my heart so fucking bad that it took years until I could say his name or even see his face again. I am over him now, have been for a long time, but I can’t help still feel bitter about him. I can’t help but associate you with him at times. He made me defensive and untrusting of men, I couldn’t help but assume you’d be just like Yunho when I first met you, at least when I finally realized who you were. I felt so guilty, I tried to push you away but you wouldn’t fucking give up. You are everything yet nothing like Yunho and that scares me, because I want you, Mingi. But I’m scared you’ll abandon me like Yunho did, that you’ll fill my head with empty and pretty fantasies and then leave me alone with them, tearing my heart apart in the process. I want to open up, but I’m scared. I think, however, with you by my side, I’d be able to do that, to let my walls down.”

The silence that settled upon us, once again, was deafening and I gulped, heart racing and making me feel lightheaded as Mingi’s face had fallen, expression finally not as void as before. He looked shocked, but surprisingly, he didn’t look hurt nor like he would hate me for ever. It made me hopeful for a second, it made me sniff loudly and blink away the insisting tears from my eyes. He gulped and took a deep breath, making me stare in his eyes, hopeful and less scared, as he sighed and rubbed at his chin; a stubble was showing. Now that I come to think of it, he looks rather tired with bags under his eyes, and his platinum hair has a blue hue to it.

“I’m sorry he made you go through so much; I know it wasn’t easy.” Mingi’s tone finally lost the edge it had before, finally it wasn’t laced with so much anger, and it almost made me cry, “I kind of—I knew. Not exactly the whole thing, but I suppose I can say I had a feeling that there was history between you and Yunho. It was too obvious whenever I brought him up that you didn’t like him, at first I was confused, but then I suppose everything just clicked into place. The drawing of his eyes, the sweater you lent me and the fact that you gave it to me in the end—I’ve known since then that it was probably Yunho. I never said anything to him, not like that at least, I wanted you to come to me on your own, when you fully trusted me with the information. And I’m sorry, but he—he was an asshole back in high school, he was insecure and he played with everyone’s feelings, he was quite good at manipulating people around him. He’s mentioned dating you, but very few times, and by the time you had broken up I had all but forgotten about you, I suppose I wasn’t much better compared to him.

“But all of this isn’t my fault in the end, and while I completely understand your reasoning now and why you often acted the way you did, I’m sorry, but I can’t just let go of things and start anew. There’s just—too many things that have happened, emotions that you stirred up in me, and I just can’t do it, I—it’s not even about you and Yunho, I don’t give a fuck about it, it was ages ago and Yunho is a changed man and I know he’s long moved on. And you too, I believe you have, you seemed less bitter lately, but I just can’t. I can’t help but ask again, what do you want, YN?”

At least he wasn’t mad at me, but I did feel ashamed that I made him piece everything together on his own, that I wasn’t capable of telling him the truth myself. I have made mistakes, sure, but Mingi apparently didn’t hate me for them, “I just want to apologize, for everything.”

Mingi nodded and I watched in despair as that cold mask slipped back onto his face, expression void of any emotion once again. It made me want to grab his shoulders and shake them, force him to look deep into my eyes and just see everything I felt for him, “That’s fine, I accept your apology. If that’s all, you can leave—”

“But that’s not all!” I snapped, having had enough of being dismissed by him. I saw the way his jaw twitched, the way his eyebrows furrowed at my defiance, at my reluctance to leave just yet. I was being pathetic and a pain in the ass, but I had to make him understand that I was ready to leave all my fears behind for him, to learn how to be a better person next to him. I wanted to change, and I wanted it to happen with him by my side, with him guiding me and teaching me how to be more like him, and less like the shitty person I was for so long. I longed to be the way I was before meeting Yunho, a lot happier and a lot less broody and hateful of the beautiful things that surrounded me, “Mingi, I cannot stop thinking about you. I spend every waking moment when we’re apart wondering what you’re up to, what’s going through your mind, whether you’re okay or not. And I’ve been drawing you, since the first time I saw you, you’ve captured my attention, you’ve made me curious of who you were the longer we spent time together. I don’t want to be like this anymore, I don’t want to hurt you anymore and shut you out, I want to fix everything. I want to—I just want you, Mingi.”

There was a quiet scoff behind Mingi, but neither one of us reacted to it as our gazes bore into each other, my eyes glinting with yearning and his façade slowly breaking down as he released a shaky breath, “Mingi, I adore you.”

“Get out.” For a second, my body froze as I thought he was addressing me, but then, he whirled around and pointed towards the studio’s still open door, “Get out, now.”

And I just realized that the blonde girl had been witness to everything, and I couldn’t help but blanch in embarrassment as she made to interject, but I guess Mingi’s sharp eyes made her reconsider her choice as she huffed and then stormed out of the studio. My cheeks felt hot and I realized the clothes were making me sweaty, so as Mingi hurried towards the door to close it, I shrugged my jacket off and placed it neatly on the back of the sofa together with my thick scarf. And as I looked up, mouth dry as the door clicked shut and Mingi turned around, it felt like time stopped, like the world stopped moving. But Mingi was moving towards me, in nothing more than three steps he stood in front of me, and before I could even as much as try to reason with him or plead more to be forgiven, warm fingers dug into my cheeks and the wind was knocked from my lungs as his plush warm lips slammed against mine, making me gasp as my eyes remained wide open.

『Filthy impetuous soul

I wanna give it to you』

I thought he wouldn’t want anything to do with me, I thought he’d tell me that he needed time to forgive me completely and for us to work things out. But I couldn’t help shudder and feel ecstatic as I grabbed the collar of his shirt and cardigan, my eyes falling shut, as I pulled him closer to my body, savoring the kiss as if it was our first. But it wasn’t anything like that one, it wasn’t soft nor careful nor slow, it was hurried and desperate as Mingi pushed me backward, pressing me against the wall, right between the small space between the sofa and the desk. My arms circled his neck as he grabbed my nape with one big hand and pressed his other into the small of my back, making it arch as my fingers tangled into his soft hair, not pulling, just feeling the need to hold onto something, to keep myself grounded.

And much like the first time, our lips seemed to fit perfectly, and I tried not to keen when he sucked my bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling on the soft flesh, and I tried not to turn into a puddle when he hummed lowly against my lips as my fingers flexed in his hair. Perhaps I kissed him a bit harder and more aggressively as our pace quickened, my hand holding the side of his neck as Mingi pressed his body into mine until it felt like he was trying to forbid me even of the idea of escaping from his clutches, and I had no fucking intention of going anywhere, because in his arms I felt content and safe, and perhaps a bit too hot as goosebumps covered my arms the longer our lips moved hungrily against each other. And when I cupped his cheeks and perhaps held onto them a bit too firmly, his lips parted, and I ignored my lungs screaming for air as my tongue slipped past his parted mouth. I didn’t expect him to moan as our tongues tangled together, all wet and perhaps a little disgusting, but neither one of us cared about that.

I tried to stand on my tip toes for better access as Mingi’s ring clad fingers were suddenly running through my hair and tilting my head back, making my skin tingle where he held my hip firmly. I had been kissed by other people before, but neither felt like with Mingi, neither made me crave more and more and more. But our lungs could only go on so long without air, and I would’ve been embarrassed for the loud gasp I let out when we finally parted, if it wasn’t for Mingi diving straight for my neck and finding the sweet spot that made me putty in his arms. And I tried to ignore his deep grunts as my fingers got tangled in his platinum blonde strands as he pressed open mouthed and wet kisses against my neck, his arms around my hips pulling me into an embrace that had my pulse showing through the skin of my neck. My lips were tingling and my lungs actually hurt, but I couldn’t care less when Mingi finally pulled back and blinked his dark eyes open, pupils dilated and lips so swollen he almost made me chase after them once again.

『Oh, just to see what you'd do

'Cause I'm so drunk on you』

“What’s in the thermos?” His voice was raspier than usual, and it made me bite my bottom lip as my eyes searched his face, his falling on my lips instead.

“Hot chocolate, for peace making.” I answered, sounding a lot more breathless than I actually felt, and Mingi chuckled, the sound deep in his throat. I let my arms fall from his shoulders and instead circled them around his torso, trying to fight off the smile from my lips. Mingi didn’t look angry nor dismissive anymore, but I knew I wasn’t actually forgiven just yet. And that was only fair.

“This is peacemaking, not the hot chocolate.” And there it was, the mischievous glint in his eyes and the smug smirk on his lips as he squeezed my hips once and lowered his face until our lips brushed together, “Although I do appreciate the hot chocolate too.”

“Good, my mom was rather excited when she told me to give it to you.” I pressed a chaste kiss against Mingi’s lips before he could try and say anything, and he chuckled when I pulled away, eyes creasing and crooked front teeth showing.

“What are we now?” His voice was a mere whisper, not insecure nor scared, just wondering, “What do you want?”

I gulped, but decided to be honest. No more hiding my feelings and thoughts from him, “I don’t know just yet, and that’s why I need you to take the lead, but this—I want more of this, of you.”

“Good,” Mingi hummed, lips pursed as he kissed my cheek once before slowly releasing me from his warm embrace, “because I’ve been wanting more of you for fucking ages, doll.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle as suddenly I felt embarrassed and perhaps a little shy, but Mingi seemed to be unphased as he grabbed my tote bag and looked through it because his clothes were in it, “You can keep these, they looked better on you anyway. But you better not give them to Yunho if he ever happens to go over to your house—”

“Mingi.” I snapped mortified and pushed his arm as he dropped the tote bag and burst out laughing, giving me a cheeky smile.

“Want to hear the rest of the song I made for you?”

“For me?”

“Yeah, doll, for you.”

            By the time I managed to get home I might as well been on cloud nine and in so much ecstasy that one would think I was on drugs. Which, kind of felt like it after the day I have had—not that I’ve ever done any drugs. I failed to notice my mother’s silhouette in the window of our kitchen when I got out of Mingi’s car and, of course, that meant she saw him get out of his old Honda Prelude and jog after me to kiss me hard and leave me dizzy before he left. And all of that, of course, meant that by the time I unlocked the front door and stepped inside, my mother was leaning against the archway of the kitchen with the widest smirk I’ve ever seen on her face.

“So, did you have sex?”

My eyes widened in mortification and I struggled to step out of my boots and shrug off my jacket, “Mom!”

“So, you did, huh.” It wasn’t even a question, and suddenly running after Mingi’s car sounded a lot better than standing in front of my mother as she bit her bottom lip, giving me a wink.

“We didn’t!” I exclaimed, cheeks flushed a deep red as I cradled the tote bag to my chest, “He needs to take me out on a date first—many dates, actually.”

“Well, he better hurry up then cuz you’re glowing and you’re happy.” I froze at my mother’s words as she looked at me with a serene expression on her face, lips pulled into a small smile, forgetting all about her previous teasing, “He’s good for you, too good. I haven’t seen you so relaxed and happy since—since highschool.”

Since Yunho broke up with me.

“I know, and I will make sure I never hurt him again.” I told my mom and she hummed, looking down at her wristwatch.

“You missed lunch, by the way, so you’ll eat chicken tenders—”

“Again?!”

“Again, exactly. Go wash up before dinner.”

And I was out of her sight in no time, with a newfound rush in my system, skin tingling as I realized I craved to hold my pencil and my sketchbook in my hands. I couldn’t remember the last time I drew something for me and not because it was an assignment. And if hours later the sketch looked a lot like a familiar platinum blonde haired man with sharp eyes and a tall nose wearing blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a beige cardigan over it, accessories many and nails painted black, then I wouldn’t even deny it anymore. Perhaps he would love seeing my drawings. Perhaps I should finally show him.

Mings 🖤: date on wednesday? Me: but im paying this time Mings 🖤: so when we went to the pottery coffee shop it was a date wasnt it, doll Me: maybe it was maybe it wasnt Mings 🖤: no maybes this time

『Oh, but you know me too well

Oh, but you know me too well, well』

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[ro-written]

EATING BRICKS RN…yall dont understand how obsessed I have been over this series + book two of it (Paradise Gardens) like CHEFS KISS MUAH MUAH MUAH this is so so good, PLEASE GIVE THIS A READ ITS SO AHHHHHHHHHH

Hotel California Mini Masterlist

“You can check out any time you’d like, but you can never leave.”

➢ Hotel California {H/A/M} 

➢ Part Two

➢ Part Three

➢ Part Four

➢ Part Five

➢ Part Six

➢ Part Seven {S}

➢ Part Eight

➢ Part Nine

➢ Part Ten

➢ Part Eleven

➢ Part Twelve

➢ Part Thirteen {S}

➢ Part Fourteen

➢ Part Fifteen

➢ Part Sixteen {S}

➢ Part Seventeen

➢ Part Eighteen

➢ Part Nineteen

➢ Part Twenty

➢ Part Twenty-One {S}

➢ Part Twenty-Two

➢ Part Twenty-Three

➢ Part Twenty-Four

➢ Part Twenty-Five

➢ Part Twenty-Six

➢ Part Twenty-Seven - Final

End of Book One

Book Two

Playlist

[evenyvn]

award show shenanigan

rockstar!fem!reader x idol!seonghwa

cw : she/her for reader, sfw, reader being downbad for seonghwa (who doesn't?), reader is in a k-rock band and is playing the guitar, reader and seonghwa are dating. this is VERY self-indulgent so no beta read.

this is DEFINITELY inspired by that one jackson's reaction to jyp's and hwasa's performance on MAMA lmao.

You had always been used to the spotlight. As the lead guitarist of Lunar Eclipse, one of Korea’s rising star rock bands, you had a fair share of viral moments—most of them showcasing your electrifying performances and cool stage presence, some are funny clips from your livestreams or even variety shows. But lately, the internet seemed to love something else even more.

You and Park Seonghwa.

It had all started months ago when fans noticed your adorable on-stage interactions. From Seonghwa subtly headbanging during Lunar Eclipse’s set at a festival, to you singing along to Ateez’s songs when she thought no one was watching, the internet had gone wild.

Not to mentioned when Lunar Eclipse and Ateez were invited to do a variety show together, the show went popular just in few days, between your group's loudness combined with Ateez's chaotic energy, fans begin to notice the subtle interaction between you and Seonghwa.

From the way you share a few glance at each others, the subtle skinships when you both think no one is looking, but of course unfortunately for you both—the cameras that have been set on the studio caught all of them, making the fans go crazy.

Even before any of your agency officially confirmed your relationship, fans were already calling you the rockstar x prince couple. And when both of your agency finally announced that you both are dating, the reactions had been surprisingly and overwhelmingly positive—people absolutely adored you guys together.

Tonight, you aren't performing. Instead, you were one of the MCs for a major award show along side Myung Jaehyun from BOYNEXTDOOR, a new challenge for you but something you were excited to try.

The show was going smoothly between the amazing performances of multiple groups, Jaehyun have been an amazing mc partner, with his extroverted personality and positive energy makes you feel alot more comfortable and less nervous.

What you aren't prepared for, however, was how weak you would become watching your boyfriend on stage.

Ateez delivered a breathtaking performance, as expected. The crowd roared with excitement as they executed their intense choreography, their charisma filling the massive venue. But then came the ending fairy moment—something that had become a staple in K-pop performances.

The camera zoomed in on Seonghwa, his gaze piercing and smoldering as he stared straight into the lens. His plump lips curled into the faintest smirk, a sheen of sweat on his skin making him look even more ethereal. He tilted his head slightly, fingers brushing his jawline in a move so effortlessly seductive that the crowd erupted in cheers.

And unfortunately for you, the camera also zoomed in on your reaction.

your eyes widened in pure shock, jaw dropping, and breath hitching as you visibly struggled to keep your composure. A second later, your expression melted into something almost comically lovesick—your lips pressing together in a desperate attempt to suppress a smile, cheeks burning with undeniable affection. you quickly covered you mouth with the cue card on your hand, but it was far too late.

The internet had already seen it.

Within minutes, clips of your reaction flooded social media. Fans were losing their minds.

username_01

“NOT Y/N FALLING FOR HER OWN BOYFRIEND ON NATIONAL TELEVISION LMAO”

username_02

“She looked like she got hit by a truck named Park Seonghwa”

username_03

“ 'yo did i really bagged that baddie??' ahh reaction💀"

username_04

“This is the cutest thing ever, she’s literally all of us”

username_05

why is she staring at the camera like we did that to her on the last second lmao ���

Hashtags like #YNLovestruck, #HwaEffect, and #PowerCoupleGoals trended within the hour. Even Ateez’s official account joined in on the fun, posting a blurry screenshot of your reaction with the caption: "Even the MC couldn’t resist… Who can blame her?"

On the backstage, as soon as the segment ended, you groaned dramatically, burying your face in your hands.

“I’m never living this down.”

A familiar chuckle made you peek through your fingers. Seonghwa stood before you, still slightly out of breath from performing, but his smile was soft and utterly amused. “I saw the clips already,” he teased, tilting his head. “You think I’m that stunning?”

you huffed, crossing your arms. “Please, you knew exactly what you were doing.”

He grinned, stepping closer to gently tap your chin. “Maybe. But I like seeing you flustered.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, your heart raced as your boyfriend steps closer to you. “Congrats,” you muttered, “now the entire internet knows I’m down bad for you.”

Seonghwa leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Well… lucky for you, I’m just as down bad for you.”

And just like that, your face burned even hotter.

The internet would definitely have a field day with this one.

devider by @/aquazero, likes and reblogs are very appreciated ♡

[tainsan]

misfits V

pairing: ot8 ateez x fem! reader

warnings: nothing much, cursing, a little bit of rudeness to mc

word count: 6.4k

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⇢a/n: I am going to be on vacation for two weeks from today onwards, so I thought it was very necessary for me to give you this chapter before I leave! I hope you enjoy it and remember you are loved.

this chapter is dedicated to my love @l0vetiny <3

--- THIS IS AN 18+ STORY MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ---

“Are you kidding me?” You say to yourself as you open your moisturiser, only to be met with an empty bottle.

Two days have passed since Yeosang entered your room and stayed with you until sleep overtook your weary form. Waking up to find your room devoid of any remnants of trash and the lingering smell of takeaway food, you couldn't help but feel a tinge of embarrassment. You hadn't expected him to take care of the aftermath, and it made you aware of his thoughtfulness and consideration. The memories of that evening remain hazy, but they replay in your mind, each memory imprinted with a mixture of warmth and vulnerability.

The tight embrace you shared and the heartfelt conversations that unfolded spoke volumes about Yeosang's attentive nature. He listened intently to every word you uttered, taking a few moments to craft thoughtful replies, revealing not only his intelligence but also his preference for responding with focus and precision.

Amidst the growing familiarity with the boys, you find yourself caught in a confusing situation. On one hand, their caring nature towards you defies the warnings and negative perceptions that surround them. It's a contradiction that leaves you pondering the legitimacy of the rumours. A part of you wishes to scream to the world, yelling that what they see isn't true. Yet, deep down, you can't dismiss the possibility that there might be valid reasons behind their guarded and adverse attitudes towards others.

In the midst of these conflicting thoughts, you question your own place in their lives. What makes you so special that they let you in with such ease? The weight of this question, coupled with the overwhelming flood of information, exhausts your mind. Though you have the opportunity to ask any of them about their behaviour, a sense of hesitation lingers, fearing that you may come across as nosy or pushy. The questions swirl within your head, thoughts that keep you restless at night, yet you recognize the need to find a balance. Reminding yourself that it's not your business, you attempt to calm the rising storm in your mind, pushing the thoughts aside.

Redirecting your focus, you turn towards the mirror before you, resuming your train of thought, with Yeosang at the forefront of your mind.

Since that evening with Yeosang, you've shared two dinners together. Last night, Wooyoung surprised you with a mouth watering creamy pasta dish that left you in awe. Interest got the better of you, and you couldn't help but ask him how he managed to make it taste so good. His playful response, accompanied by a wink and the teasing words "it comes with a price," igniting a spark of curiosity within you, causing your mind to wander into some rather… interesting thoughts.

You've come to realize that Wooyoung is quite the flirt, expert at drawing reactions from people. It seems like you've inadvertently become his new target of playful banter. While you appreciate that he knows his boundaries, every light-hearted innuendo, no matter how strong, sends your mind spinning in countless directions. It's a refreshing experience to have someone use such words with you, as you've never really encountered anyone who flirted with you before, apart from the occasional drunk man at a bar or a rude boy from your high school days. Yet with Wooyoung, there's no sense of disgust or discomfort. His playful comments leave you feeling warm, your heart skipping a beat in response.

In the mornings, you've found comfort in conversations with Jongho before heading off to school. It becomes apparent that he is an early riser, always seated at the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee or a bowl of cereal, engrossed in a YouTube video. Despite the early hour, he's always impeccably dressed, showered, and ready, while you struggle to drag yourself out of bed and make your way to the kitchen for a snack from the fridge. You admire his sense of organization and punctuality, secretly aspiring to be as put together as him in the future, even if you have no immediate plans to start. Reflecting on a pleasant morning from yesterday, a warm smile graces your features.

---

“You look like you need a coffee and an energy drink,” Jongho tells you, humour evident in his voice, “in the nicest way possible, of course.”

Jongho descends the stairs and enters the kitchen, his presence catching your attention. Dressed in black jeans that accentuate his physique, he exudes a sense of effortless style. A plain blazer jacket is worn over a crisp white shirt, completing his polished look. The monochromatic outfit enhancing his natural charm, leaving you momentarily captivated by his presence.

“How do you manage to look so presentable this early in the morning?” You question, resting your forehead against the cold marble of the island.

“Are you saying I look good?” Jongho questions as he takes a seat opposite from you, a teasing smile on his face.

“I’d tell you to shut up, but I’m convinced you’re a psychopath seeing as you’re up and ready for school two hours before it begins, so I’ll watch my mouth.” You joke, sending a playful smile back in the direction of the youngest male. He lets out a hearty laugh, making you feel somewhat delighted he found you funny.

“Why are you up this early?” Jongho asks, “seeing as you clearly aren’t a said psychopath.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” you answer honestly, seeing a concerned look cover Jongho’s features. You want to reassure him you’re completely fine, yet you can’t seem to find the energy to lie to him.

“Something going on in your head?” The male questions, glancing at your smaller frame, hunched over a cup of coffee. Jongho can see that the cup is no longer hot, and he concludes that you have been up for quite a while. He can’t help as the worries in his mind intensify deeply, hoping that you’re not feeling too bad.

“Just some stress with my assignments, I guess. It seems like they are never ending.” You admit, telling the half-truth. Knowing the real reason for your sleepless nights is the reoccurring nightmares you have almost every night. Every so often you have a period of time where you have the same nightmare, it only comes when you are stressed and due to the recent events in your life, they have started coming again, much to your dismay. Luckily, they haven’t been as bad as usual, yet you can’t help but fear when they get out of control, not knowing how handle it alone, and not really fancying telling any of your new roommates, not knowing how they would react.

A soft sigh escapes Jongho's lips as he senses that there is more to the story, an underlying concern or burden that weighs on your mind. He refrains from prying for answers, recognizing the importance of patience and respect in allowing you to open up and share your worries when you are ready. His comforting presence assures you that he will be there, ready to listen and support you whenever you feel comfortable enough to confide in him.

“For what it’s worth, you can always come to me if you need someone to confide in.”

As you gaze up at Jongho, his face adorned with a sorrowful smile, you're drawn to the depths of his eyes, where an unclear emotion resides. The impact of his presence on your being is strange, yet it stirs something deep within you. Tears threaten to well up in the corners of your eyes as a profound sense of safety envelopes you like a comforting embrace. It's as if a warm blanket of protection wraps around you, providing support in the face of your inner chaos. Jongho, perceptive as ever, notices the appreciative glimmer in your eyes, and it tugs at the strings of his own heart, deepening the connection between you.

“Would you like a fresh coffee?” He asks, standing up towards the coffee machine, clearing the thick air that has risen suddenly.

Smiling at him, you nod your head, “yes please.”

---

Mingi's sweet nature is undeniable, and his actions speak volumes. Despite his schedule not requiring an early start, he willingly walks with you to campus, showing genuine interest in getting to know you better. He engages you in small conversations, asking questions to gain a deeper understanding of who you are as a person. Mingi finds joy in simply conversing with you, relieved that you don't recoil in fear from his intimidating exterior. He's accustomed to people shrinking away when they see him, assuming he's rough and unkind, but with you, he yearns for you to see beyond that façade. Mingi wants you to witness his true self, someone who cares deeply for his friends and strives for their happiness as well as his own.

When you respond to Mingi's questions, he enthusiastically observes the way your eyes light up when discussing certain topics. He stores these details in his memory, intent on remembering the things that spark your interests. Mingi's genuine curiosity and genuine desire to connect with you make you feel seen and valued, fostering a growing bond between the two of you.

The rest of the guys you haven’t particularly seen much, you did see catch a glimpse of Seonghwa near the canteen, and part of you was tempted to approach him and engage in a conversation, eager to reconnect after the incident at the failed dinner. However, you quickly realised that the area is bustling with more people than usual, and the attention that may accompany your interaction prevents you from approaching him. You decide to give him some space momentarily, but as you watch him, you notice a visible shift in his mood.

Seonghwa takes out his phone, and an obvious change washes over his expression, morphing from his usual sweetness to a scowl. His eyes dart across the screen with frustration, his fingers moving aggressively as he types a message. This stark contrast to the kind-hearted man you encountered just days ago leaves you curious about what could be causing his heated state. Sensing the tension radiating from him, you opt not to move closer, aware that many others have already taken notice of his foul mood. Instead, you observe silently, careful not to attract his attention or even glance in his direction.

During yesterday's dinner, your anxiety about being in the same space as Yunho was met with a surprising turn of events. Throughout the entire meal, he remained unusually quiet and avoided making eye contact with you, choosing to speak only when necessary. However, when he did speak, there was a noticeable absence of snarky comments or rude behaviour. Instead, his responses were simple and concise.

For the rest, you have only seen them during dinner. With a desire to get to know each of them individually, you've made mental plans to meet with the members separately. However, you find it challenging to figure out how to approach them individually, as they are often seen together, either in pairs or as a group. It seems that finding one of them alone is a rare occurrence.

Despite the cold and piercing gaze, he directed towards you whenever your eyes met, you couldn't help but feel a sense of cheerfulness. This change in his demeanour, however small, represented progress in your eyes. You understood that building trust and establishing a connection takes time, and in that moment, even the slightest positive change felt like a victory. While you recognized that true progress can't be achieved overnight, you held onto the hope that this was just the beginning.

You witness Seonghwa dialling a number on his phone, then raising it to his ear. Without hesitation, he storms out of the space, his departure marked by a sense of urgency. The sight leaves you with unanswered questions, contemplating what might have triggered such a reaction and deciding to give him the space he seems to require in that moment.

As you were called upon for dinner today, a sense of surprise washed over you when you noticed Yunho's absence. His usual spot at the table remained unoccupied, leaving a void in the gathering. It was unexpected, as you had grown accustomed to his presence, even during the tumultuous moments. The absence of his familiar figure sparked a mix of emotions within you, curiosity, concern, and even a tinge of disappointment.

 You couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't there. Was he occupied with something urgent, or did he intentionally choose to be petty and distance himself? The questions lingered in your mind, causing a slight unease.

“Where is Yunho?” You question as you sit down, wondering where the tall black-haired male was.

“He has something, he can’t make it today.” Mingi explains, looking down at his plate awfully sorrowful for some reason. You go to ask, but can’t get the words out, not wanting to pry or appear nosy. It is evident there is some sort of sorrow hung around the boys and you can’t help but wonder where their cheery selves have disappeared to.

As the dinner progresses, Hongjoong strongly observes your attitude, noticing the tinge of disappointment or sadness in your expression due to Yunho's absence. It sparks a curiosity within him, causing questions to circle in his mind. He wonders what might have transpired that would make you care about Yunho's presence and whereabouts.

Hongjoong deliberates silently, unsure whether he should inquire about it now or wait for a more opportune moment when the two of you are alone. He doesn't want to put you on the spot or add unnecessary pressure by discussing it in front of everyone. However, he's well aware that the sudden shift in your attitude towards Yunho has caught the attention of others in the room, leaving them equally curious. In the end, Hongjoong decides to respect your privacy and wait for a more suitable time to approach you.

Although you are not particularly fond of Yunho, you couldn't help but wonder about his whereabouts during the dinner. You even find a small part of yourself hoping that he has at least eaten something, despite the mixed emotions you held for him. It was in these moments that you felt a pang of self-reproach for even caring, knowing that if the roles were reversed, Yunho would likely wish for you to starve.

After tonight's dinner, you found yourself in the kitchen, demanding to help Wooyoung and Mingi with the dishes. However, they quickly dismissed your assistance, insisting that you should "sit down and look pretty," as Wooyoung teasingly put it. His mischievous smirk was hard to ignore, and you couldn't help but react to his playful remark. As they proceeded to tackle the task at hand, you observed with amusement as Wooyoung washed the dishes while Mingi diligently dried them, skilfully putting everything back in its designated place. It was a delightful sight to behold.

To enhance the atmosphere, they had songs playing through a hidden surround sound speaker, surprising you with their hidden musical setup. They even allowed you to take charge of selecting the songs, genuinely interested in your music taste, and complimenting your choices. The kitchen was filled with lively tunes, making the whole experience enjoyable and light-hearted.

As the last dish was dried and put away, Wooyoung and Mingi bid you farewell, mentioning their impending assignments that needed attention. It served as a reminder for you to tackle your own academic tasks. Thankfully, the comparative essay you had to submit was relatively straightforward and could be completed within a short span of twenty to thirty minutes. Of course, you allowed yourself a few much-needed breaks to browse through TikTok, finding moments of relaxation amidst your productivity. You finish within no time, and decide it is time to get to sleep.

Which now leads you to your current dilemma. Just as you had imagined, your moisturiser ran out and you are in desperate need of something to keep your face from cracking up and becoming as dry as the Sahara Desert. You wonder if you can ask one of the boys for a face cream? No, they are likely going to be asleep, you distinctly remember them all saying they had an early start and needed to sleep after dinner, or they were studying for important exams, and you did not want to be the one to break their concentration, knowing how annoying it can be. Looking down at your phone you see it is 21:27, nine twenty-seven. The supermarket where you buy your cream from is a ten-minute walk away, and it closes at ten.

With the intention of leaving promptly, you hurriedly gather your belongings, not forgetting your phone and wallet. Pulling on a cosy hoodie and slipping into oversized sweatpants to cover your sleeping shorts, you ensure that you are sufficiently dressed for the chilly weather outside.

As you made your way towards the kitchen, your pace suddenly halts as your eyes land on a familiar figure seated at the island. It was none other than Yunho, his broad frame occupying the space. This sight surprises you, as you had anticipated him to head straight to his bedroom upon returning home from his day's activities. Curiosity piqued, you wonder if he needs food, hoping that the boys had left him some.

‘What are you thinking, this man hates you? Stop caring so much about his wellbeing.’ You shout at yourself mentally, wondering why you even mind about him. No matter how eagerly you've tried to harbour hatred towards Yunho, an overwhelming force ruins your efforts, stumping your mind and producing endless contemplation. Despite your tireless search for answers, the obscure reasons behind your inability to raise even a trace of loathing towards him remain unresolved. This lingering inquiry persists, chewing at your consciousness and compelling you to seek transparency amid the haze of your thoughts.

With an intense desire to evade any encounter with Yunho, you navigate around the kitchen with a careful blend of stealth and accuracy, determined to make a swift exit without finding yourself alone in his presence. The mere thought of being in close proximity to him, without protective company of the others, produces an unsettling mix of unease and nervous anticipation, coiling like a knot of anxiety deep within the pit of your stomach. Just as you're about to make your escape, a voice cuts through the air, halting your movements. It's the voice of the very man you were hoping to evade.

“Where are you going?”

It seems luck is not on your side today. A surge of frustration engulfs you as the expectation of enduring Yunho's taunting and belittlement comes over you, especially when you're already feeling messy and self-conscious about your appearance.

With a hesitant turn, you prepare yourself for the anticipated encounter with the familiar man that frequently exudes hatred and rage. Yet, to your astonishment, the sight that meets your gaze defies all expectations. Yunho's appearance bears an unexpected gentleness and stillness, without of any indication of hostility. Instead, his weary and swollen eyes hint at the possibility of recent tears shed. Caught off guard by this realization, you find yourself momentarily startled and at a loss for words.  

Yunho's gaze travels over your dishevelled state, and a small, almost invisible chuckle escapes his lips.

“Um, I’m quickly going to the supermarket.” You answer, your voice quiet, not knowing how to speak to the suddenly unfamiliar man in front of you, not wanting him to explode and say some rude things.

“It’s almost ten, are you so desperate for attention that you’re willing to get kidnapped?” Yunho questions, raising his eyebrow, the familiar expression of hatred has now returned, but you notice it’s not as intense as usual, you conclude this to him possibly being fatigued. At least you now know that Yunho isn’t so mean when he’s exhausted.

“I need a face cream, mine has run out.”

“You can’t spend a day without it?” Yunho scoffs, speculating why you are so set on going out late at night for such a minuscule product. For a moment, he values your determination.

“No, actually. My skin gets dry very fast, and I’d rather not wake up with my skin red and peeling.”

Confused, you know Yunho has little to no care for you, so him asking questions has you rather intrigued. It’s not like he’s concerned about you, is he?

“What supermarket are you going to?’’ Yunho interrogates you, causing you to almost roll your eyes at his mountain of questions. When you answer, he returns your eye roll, mockingly causing your heart to speed up with anxiety, hoping he doesn’t suddenly blow up in your face. He continues, “that place is dangerous to go at this time, just go in the morning.”

“Why do you care if it’s dangerous?” You ask, slightly irritated he is telling you what to do, when you know, he would probably watch and enjoy feeding you to a pool of starving piranhas.

With confidence radiating from his towering figure, Yunho rises from the barstool and strides purposefully toward you. He's well aware of the advantage his height gives him, and a subtle grin forms on his lips as he notices your slight instinct to shrink back in response to his imposing presence.

“I don’t care, but the seven other people in this house do, so I can’t let you go out because then I will have to deal with another beratement from Hongjoong, which again would be your fault.”

Yunho has a point; you know the others would be uneasy letting you out this late alone. Although it makes you giddy that they care about you, yet you can’t seem to focus on that at this moment in time, only wanting to get your face cream as soon as possible, really not wanting to see what happens when your skin gets dry. Then, you get an incredibly devious idea.

“Come with me then.” You say bluntly, crossing your arms and looking up at Yunho who is only a few feet away from you. Staggered at your unexpected request, he raises his eyebrow at you.

“And who said I would ever agree to that?’’ Yunho says cockily and mimics you, crossing his arms across his chest, smirking. He leans down to meet your eyes, which is quite a lot now you notice, thinking he has the upper hand he speaks out again, “I don’t have to do anything you tell me to do.”

Yunho experiences a trace of astonishment as he observes your unwavering expression, finding himself unable to understand why you don't recoil like you did the first time he directed his insolence towards you. In that fleeting moment, a hint of admiration flits across his features, recognizing the way in which you maintain your composure.

“That’s true, you don’t have to. But I’m sure Hongjoong and the others would love to hear all about how you made me go out at ten all by myself.”

Yunho's initial arrogance is quickly replaced by a mixture of surprise and admiration as he witnesses your unwavering composure and your skilful manoeuvre to turn the tables on him. He can't help but be impressed by your ability to stand your ground and outwit him, even if it means he falls right into the trap you've set. In that moment, he realizes that there is much more to you than meets the eye.

“Who says I’m not busy, tiny?” Yunho inquires, standing back to his full height, still with his arms crossed. The familiar nickname catches you off guard, triggering a rush of memories in your mind as you try to pinpoint where you've heard it before. The way it rolls off his tongue stirs something deep within you, causing your heart to flutter and warmth to spread through your entire being. Briefly furrowing your eyebrows, you gather your thoughts and regain your composure, determined not to let this unexpected surge of emotions overpower your calm exterior.

“Yunho, there is nothing busy about watching animal videos on TikTok,” you deadpan, turning around and already heading for the door, “plus you already have your coat on.”

Yunho can feel his cheeks turn pink as he looks back at his phone placed on the counter, displaying a video of a fluffy cat playing with a toy mouse. He mentally faces palms as he grabs his phone and shutting off TikTok, wanting to uninstall it immediately. Grumbling incoherently, he begrudgingly follows you out of the house and towards the supermarket.

As the walk progresses, the suffocating weight of silence becomes increasingly difficult, convincing you to take the initiative and attempt to initiate a conversation. The palpable awkwardness between you and Yunho lingers in the air, casting a shadow over your interaction. Driven by the desire to ease the suffocating tension, you gather your thoughts and carefully search for a suitable topic to raise, hoping to bring a sense of relief.

“So, you like cats?” You ask, slightly giggling still at the video you remember seeing on Yunho’s phone.

“I do not want to talk to you right now.” Yunho grumbles, shoving his hands in his pockets and grimacing at his small mistake of not shutting his phone off before talking to you. He internally curses you for being so observant.

“Did you eat today?” You question, curious as to why you’re suddenly worried about his health. Yunho's eyes flicker towards you, observing your appearance as you maintain your gaze ahead, occasionally stealing glances at your shoes or your hands clasped in front of you. He takes a moment to study your expression, sensing a genuine concern coming from you. A fleeting sensation tugs at his heart, momentarily stirring his emotions, before he quickly suppresses it with a subtle cough. Redirecting his focus back to the path ahead, he responds to your question, his tone measured and guarded.

“I ate before I came home.” He answers with little to no emotion present in his tone.

“Where did you go today?” You look up at him, curious as to where he has spent the day, pondering what the notorious Jeong Yunho does in his spare time.

“You ask a lot of questions.” Yunho’s voice is slightly sharp as he speaks, yet for a split second he feels bad when he notices you flinch from his words. Letting out a sigh, he decides to answer, “I went to see my brother.”

“That’s nice. Did you get to talk about a lot?” Memories fill your mind of your own younger brother, a faint memory of him smiling bringing a soft smile to your own features.

Yunho's steady gaze remains fixed upon you, captivated by the sincere curiosity radiating from your eyes. Within the depths of his chest, a subtle yet strange twinge tugs at his heart, creating a faint tightening sensation. Amidst the whirlwind of conflicting thoughts swirling in his mind, an baffling force urges him to continue speaking, even as his instincts tempt him to remain guarded or retort with yet another malicious remark.

“Well, we didn’t get to talk much.” Yunho admits, causing him to curse over and over again in his mind. ‘Stop talking Yunho,’ he says to himself.

“Oh? Are you two not on good terms?” Yunho tries to be quiet again, yet when he once again sees the cute, pure gleam in your eye that he has been so desperate to ignore and avoid, another brick from his tall strong wall breaks off.

“He’s dead. I went to his grave.” Yunho admits, his heart clenching at the thought of his brother.

As the realization dawns upon you, you feel a pang of regret for your endless questions. Understanding the source of Yunho's bloodshot eyes, you berate yourself for not connecting the dots earlier. Knowing all too well the weight of the emotions Yunho must be carrying, you instinctively reach out to provide comfort.

“I’m sorry for pushing, I know it can be hard to talk about,”

“What would you know? All you do is ask questions.” Yunho’s voice is harsh, just like what you’re used to, yet this time it somehow hits harder than before, his words piercing your heart, causing it to feel like it’s cracking. The weight of Yunho's harsh words lingers in the air, causing a mix of emotions to surge within you. Hurt, guilt, and anger intertwine, leaving you at a loss for words. How could he be so heartless, failing to recognize the pain that others may have experienced? The insensitivity cuts deep, hurts your heart as you struggle to process his sudden change in behaviour. Luckily, you reach the store before you can retort to his comment.

In the dimly lit aisles of the late-night store, you fervently search for the face cream. Despite your best efforts, the memory of the rude interaction with Yunho lingers in your mind, tugging at your emotions.

Meticulously scanning through each product, your fingers lightly graze the sleek packaging, fighting against the surging waves of frustration and hurt that bounce around your consciousness. Desperately trying to group up your feelings, you urge yourself to focus solely on the task at hand.

The store buzzes with a quiet hum, its emptiness accentuating the solitude you are feeling. You can hear the distant hum of the refrigerators and the occasional rustling of merchandise being restocked. Determined to drown out the echoing thoughts of Yunho's cutting remarks, you fixate on the labels and brand names, hoping that the physical act of searching would offer you a temporary respite from the emotional war within.

Finally discovering the face cream, you hold it in your hands, observing its packaging with a mix of detachment and longing. The coldness of the bottle offers a temporary contrast to the heat of your conflicted emotions. Taking a deep breath, you attempt to silence the inner voice that replays Yunho's words over and over again.

With determination, you approach the counter, your steps echoing faintly in the quiet store. As you approach the cashier, you can't help but notice their curious gaze fixed upon you, sensing the charged energy surrounding you.

Leaving the store, you clutch the bag containing the face cream as you push open the door, stepping out into the cool night air, determined to shield yourself from the echoes of the rude interaction with Yunho, even if just for a while longer.

With the transaction complete, you exit the store, relieved to leave the uncomfortable encounter behind. The sound of the door locking behind you makes you realise you must have been the final customer.

The cool evening air embraces you as you step out of the store, scanning your surroundings for Yunho. Your eyes lock onto his figure, standing quite a few paces away, positioned in front of an alleyway. He's engrossed in his phone, his fingers moving rapidly across the screen, his brows furrowed in a mix of frustration and concentration. The glow of the streetlight casts a soft, golden glow upon him, emphasizing the sharp angles of his face and highlighting the smoothness of his skin. Despite the tension in his appearance, there's an undeniable attractiveness to him that catches your attention.

You find yourself momentarily captivated by his features, acknowledging the undeniable attractiveness that radiates from him. It's clear that he possesses a natural allurement that would easily draw people in. However, the attitude he has displayed towards you has undeniably altered your perception of him. His coldness and snarky remarks have created a barrier that prevents any romantic thoughts from taking root. If he were kinder and more approachable, you can't help but admit to yourself that you could have developed a crush on him.

Shaking off the momentary and somewhat absurd thoughts, you gather your composure and take hesitant steps towards him. As your presence nears, Yunho quickly shoves his phone into the pocket of his coat, his actions revealing a flicker of self-consciousness.

The atmosphere is still noticeably uptight from the prior conversation, and you can tell Yunho feels the tenseness as he clears his throat multiple times before beginning to stroll home. It takes about three minutes before Yunho manages to say something, and what comes from his mouth is extremely unexpected.

“I’m sorry.” He says, looking down at his hands which he is very clearly fiddling with. His harsh exterior melts away ever so slightly and you find yourself cursing at your own words from earlier, ‘if he was kinder, you could probably…’ you shake your head to dismiss those thoughts, knowing damn well you could never even think of liking Yunho.

Gazing up at him, you look at him incredulously, as if he has gone mad or he is very sick. Detecting your eyes on him, he glances down at your tinier figure and spots the gobsmacked expression on your face, in which he rolls his eyes. Instead of saying the snarky remark on the tip of your tongue, you decide this is not the time to be ill-mannered, especially since the Jeong Yunho just apologised to you.

“You know,” you begin, debating whether or not you should say what is begging to be released from your mouth. Yunho’s eyes light up with slight curiosity, wondering what it is you mean to say, and you feel your wall coming down.

“My brother died not too long ago,” you say, looking forward, too scared to see the reaction of the man to the left of you.

Yunho's brows knit together, his expression clouded with a mix of frustration and inner chaos. He can feel his heart constricting within his chest, a painful sensation as he clenches his hands into tight fists. His nails dig into his palms, an attempt to ground himself during the flood of emotions that flood over him. The weight of his own words hangs heavily in the air, the sting of his harsh remarks echoing through his mind. A wave of guilt washes over Yunho as he realizes the irony of the situation. He had lashed out at you, assuming that you couldn't possibly understand the pain and struggles he has faced. Yet, in that moment, it becomes painfully clear that you are dealing with your own share of hardships. The realization hits him like a punch to the gut, intensifying his remorse for his hurtful words.

“I just thought I’d tell you. So, you know you’re not alone.” Your voice is soft and even Yunho can’t help the way his eyes water slightly, confused out of his mind. How is it you are acting so kind to him after all the shit he has said and done to you.

“Are you always this friendly?” Yunho questions, his voice low and steady, yet he swears his words were trembling, his heart racing as he looks at your side profile.

“Only to those who deserve it.” You respond, as you stand before Yunho, a mixture of confusion and intrigue swirls within you. It baffles you how you have managed to open up to him, to confide in someone who had once seemed so distant and unapproachable. The shift in your perception of him leaves you feeling both surprised and strangely safe in his presence. You reflect on the questionable situations he has put you through, the initial dislike you held towards him when you first met, and yet, here you are, drawn to him with a newfound curiosity.

There is something about Yunho that enchants you, something that grabs your interest and leaves you feeling vulnerable. Despite his past behaviour and the knowledge that he can be a ticking time bomb, tonight has revealed a different side of him. In this moment, you are able to see beyond his façade, beyond the mask of aggression and defiance. What stands before you now, is a lost soul, a boy facing with his own emotional chaos and struggling to navigate the difficulties of his inner world. It's a mirror image of the parts within yourself that you have tried to suppress.

There is an uncanny familiarity between the two of you, a connection that resonates on a deeper level. You recognize the similarities between his guarded nature and your own tendencies to push people away. It's as if he reflects the struggles you have faced, the walls you have built to protect yourself. While you are still cautious about fully trusting Yunho after his hurtful words and actions, there is a glimmer of something genuine that you now see within him.

Yunho's feels as if his walls are starting to crack, revealing the exposed spirit that lies beneath. He is not inherently mean or cruel; he is simply wounded, carrying the weight of his own pain. The loss of his brother might explain some of his struggles, but you can't shake the feeling that there is more to his story, something yet unknown to you. It leaves you with a mixture of empathy and a desire to uncover the truth, to understand the complications that lie beneath his tough exterior.

In this moment, as you observe Yunho standing before you, you are faced with a choice. Will you allow yourself to be drawn further into his world, to unravel the layers that surround him, or will you keep your guard up, wary of the potential pain that may come with it? The answer remains uncertain, but the intrigue and the glimpse of vulnerability you have witnessed leave you unable to ignore the pull that tugs at your heart.

Yunho's chest tightens as a whirlwind of emotions sweeps through him. He struggles to comprehend how you, someone who has witnessed the depths of his spite and witnessed the rudest corners of his soul, can still extend compassion towards him. The weight of guilt presses heavily on his shoulders, reminding him of the pain he has inflicted upon you.

Yunho's mind drifts back to that moment in the kitchen, when Yeosang spoke words that lingered in the depths of his consciousness. At the time, he dismissed them, unwilling to entertain the possibility that you could be deserving of their trust. Yet now, as he stands before you, he is starting to entertain the idea that maybe, just maybe, Yeosang was right.

Yunho knows he doesn’t trust you still or whether he will ever fully trust again. Yet, from what he sees right now, maybe after all these years, he is able to let you back in. Maybe you weren't so bad after all...

[moonlight-hwa]

This part absolutely destroyed me🥲

Halloween 🍂 k.hj (m)

based on Halloween by phoebe bridgers

🍂 pairing ⇢ roommate! Hongjoong x medical student! (fem) reader

🍂 summary ⇢ life is the same, no matter a holiday. You wake up, hear the sirens from the hospital down the street, go to work, and come back home to your beautiful roommate, Hongjoong. It’s an endless cycle, but this Halloween, you could be anything—do anything. You decide to give into your infatuation, causing life to take a turn for you both. Happy Halloween, I guess.

🍂genre/au ⇢ Halloween au, roommate au, friends to lovers

🍂 warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ minors dni, mental illness (anxiety attacks), unprotected sex, hongjoong is a literal chef and certified sweetheart, literally the best roommate you could ever have, dreary, sad vibes, hongjoong has a cat, spooky season vibes, mention of death, oral sex (female recieving), best friends that dont know how to express their feelings, halloween party, yunho makes an appearance, hongjoong makes music, roommates to lovers, plz let me know if I missed anything.

🍂word count ⇢ 13.5k

🍂taglist ⇢ @atinywhore@meowmeowminnie @roe-sinning @yeritheloml @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @sanshineeeeee @8tinytings @yukine-smx @jjhmk @yesv01 @halesandy @ch0isa99ie @y00nzin0 @spiderrenjunfics

Halloween. The time to dress up and act like someone you’re not. To have that insatiable feeling to be someone new—to put on a mask. To be absolutely anything you desire…

But the thing is, it’s not just you. You're not the only one feeling this way, and it's ever so apparent on one singular day, when everyone has a chance to hide their flaws behind comical masks or tedious costume designs. It's all out of fun, people say. It's the trend, it's the reason for the occasion. But, out of everything, you are becoming whatever you want—the same way Cinderella became a princess overnight, only to get it taken away from her the minute the hour of the next day struck.

To you, Halloween was your excuse to become a different person. To gain a new strength you never had. To free your mind into an alternate reality and explore those deep feelings you've been keeping away from spilling over the surface.

And this halloween, you were going to find your way out of that dark room you called a mind.

—

You sat in your cozy nook of the townhouse you shared, a mug of steaming coffee next to you while you read. Slow, gentle rain drops fell down the glass of the window, the soft pitter-patter  creating an intimate environment. Your roommate’s cat added to the feeling, as she was curled up in a ball at your feet, dusty fur matching your fluffy socks.

It's finally october—your favorite time of the year, although there was no reason for it other than the tasty coffee flavors and the colorful scenery. Your roommate also adored the season, as it reflected in his peculiar food concoctions and outfit choices. Sometimes you would just sit and watch his eyes sparkle as he would do his favorite things, keeping your admiration in check.

Of course, he was on your mind way more than a roommate should be. Even now, as your eyes move from word to word across the smooth pages, you begin to think of his smile.

It was a Saturday afternoon. Your shift at the hospital ended the night before, three hours later than normal. It's gotten to the point that you would shiver whenever you hear sirens—and you were blessed with not only hearing the sirens at work, but also at home. 

The hospital was only down the street; the closest one on this side of town. You had to keep those intrusive thoughts away, telling yourself someone better be dying just because the sirens are getting out of hand is a bit of a stretch, someone should slap you for thinking that way. In all honesty, you didn't actually mean it. The sounds were just so overwhelming, it felt like death was looming above you no matter where you turned.

Hongjoong hasn't returned from his morning classes yet. Luckily for you, you were doing your hospital internship and didn't have to take a bunch of classes this semester. Although basically living at a hospital isn't exactly any better.

You sighed as you watched the man of the hour walk through the lifeless leaves on the pavement through the window, keeping your heartbeat steady as you admired him. He had headphones on, hiding his cute little ear piercings and pieces of his faded rusty hair.

God, he made you sick.

The crimson door of the townhouse swung open, revealing the man you were just daydreaming about. He stood in the doorway, looking down at his damp, beaten up converse before bending down to untie them. He got impatient, and just pulled them off of his feet, leaving him only in his cute little pumpkin socks.

“y/n, I brought you a croissant,” he called out to you, not realizing you were only a glance away. He set his bag down on the table and took off his headphones, shaking his head to fix his hair. “You better get over here before I eat it.”

“Is it chocolate filled?” you asked him quietly from your nook, to which he whipped his head to look at you.

The minute he laid his eyes on you, he broke out in a huge smile, his gums showing. “Well, yeah. That's your favorite.”

You stared at him intently, setting down your book on your lap and sitting up a bit. This caused the kitty to meow, which had an immediate effect on your roommate.

His eyes widened. “Oh!” he gasped, running over to the cat to pay attention to her. “Look, baby, we’re twins,” he pointed to his pumpkin socks, smiling proudly. You knew that he only got those socks because of the pumpkins—and because his cat was named pumpkin. “My sweet little pumpkin.”

“What am I, chopped liver?” you scoffed, sliding out of your blanket and setting the book down. You made your way over to the table, which was where he set the croissant bag. “Anyway, thank you, joong.”

He looked over at you and smiled as a response, but it wasn't enough. You wanted him to come over to you and hold you tight, kiss you on the forehead, and let his soft breaths hit you as he would breathe for you.

Now, you weren't always like this. He’s been your roommate since freshman year, all the way back when you used to live on campus. You’ve been in three different living situations with him, but for some reason, living alone with him in a townhouse with a cat and a cute garden in the back just made your mind live in delululand. Dear god, you felt like a married couple at times, as he would spare no second to cook you dinner or help you with your laundry. 

There was just something about him that was so domestic—the same thing you craved every chance you got. But yet, here you were, still daydreaming about it all and never getting it to happen.

And you know exactly when it started. On that halloween, three years ago, when he held you tight in his embrace after finding out your grandmother had passed. It was one of the worst panic attacks in your history. He takes care of you when they happen now, but back then, it was all new to him.

It wasn't supposed to be the type of moment you think about how his hair smelled, or the way his dainty hands caressed the tears away. It wasn't supposed to play out that way. But yet, it did, and you were still stuck with the feelings years later.

Halloween is less than a month away now—this year, it was a chance for you to hide away, or show your true colors.

— —

It was midnight and cold and all you wanted to do was curl up in a ball in your bed. Being in the emergency room was even harder than you imagined, and you knew you had a night of tossing and turning ahead of you. Luckily tomorrow was a rest day, and you would be back on campus for a seminar. You needed a break from the hustle and bustle of life versus death, and you started to think that maybe you just weren't cut out for it. It was far too late for your indecisiveness to kick in, as it seemed to jump up and surprise you every now and again. Hey! This isn't what you want to do, right? What about this? Ah, no, that's not what I want….

A never ending cycle of your life. Wake up, think about hongjoong. Drink coffee made by hongjoong. Have your shoes tied by hongjoong. Go to work and nearly die. Come home from your commute and see hongjoong. Hongjoong makes food for you. Hongjoong smiles for you. Hongjoong…..

Hongjoong, Hongjoong, Hongjoong……

He’s everywhere; Is everything. You know you wouldn't survive without the helpful, caring hands of the man you called a roommate, but you also don't know what will happen when you graduate and part ways. Knowing that he has no mental ties to you quite in the way you have him tied around every morsel of your psyche, it nearly breaks your heart just thinking about it.

Would you crumble right there? Like an old painting or a sculpture, would you cave in without that constant attention? That constant affection for just your existence?

Giving up on your existential thoughts for the night, you slowly glided up the few steps of the brick townhouse, nearly tripping on the last step. You've already done that one too many times, as there is a permanent mark left on your favorite pair of shoes.

Finally opening the door, you entered your humble abode with a grimace, chucking off your shoes to reach the kitchen table. You sat down grumpily, putting your elbows up onto the table when the sweet smell of baking filled your senses.

“Joong? Whatcha makin?” you playfully spoke. He was leaning against the counter across from you, his arms crossed and his eyebrow raised.

“What does it smell like?” he asked you.

You shrugged, breaking your stare to rest your head on the cold table. “I guess like cookies.”

Joong took a second to respond to you, and ran a hand through his rusty hair. It used to be a vibrant red—just like the leaves of the trees. 

“Are you feeling alright?” he spoke softly, moving from his distant position to come a little closer, now leaning against the table. His arms held him up, and from your line of vision, you were able to see a few of his fingertips painted black. “Was it a bad day at the hospital?”

Sirens bellowed loudly from the street, as if on cue of the topic. You groaned and nodded. “God, yeah. There was so much….death. I mean, I thought I knew it was going to be bad but I never thought it was this bad.”

Hongjoong sighed, backing up to get the cookies out of the oven. “I have a question,” he said, his voice strained as he reached into the heat. 

“Shoot.”

He set the tray down onto the stove, turning off the oven. 

“Are you happy?”

His words made you raise your head, meeting his worry-filled gaze. You always hated the way he looked at you, it wasn't in the way you wanted. He always seemed so worried—like he was pitying you. He knew your whole life story, from how you were only raised by a grandmother that lived her life for you, to how you deal with the anxiety that breaks through you like a sickness. It hinders you to the point where you hide it from others, but joong—he knows everything.

You smiled at him, hiding your true colors because he always seemed to break down your walls. In truth, you were feeling anxiety all day—maybe it was the woman who reminded you of your grandmother today. The same woman you witnessed flatline with her granddaughter gripping her pale hand. You watched the young girl’s tears smack onto the linoleum, your heart aching and letting your own tears well up.

Your grandmother was all you had. Your parents passed away in a car accident together, the world taking them both away from you in the same night. You witnessed it from the backseat, the cracks of the windshield and the dark, pooling blood you wished wasn't your parents. It was some sort of miracle that you survived unscathed, but in your sweet grandmother’s words, you were an angel.

You didn't believe in any of that religious shit now, but maybe it was due to all your ups and downs. You didn't need to have some godly figure in your life to know that you were damned no matter what. So you lived your life in fits of anxiety and happiness, all swarming around you. Your anxiety made you believe that you didn't deserve that happiness, and the happiness made you believe you didn't deserve the anxiety.

And hongjoong? He was your happiness.

You sighed, remembering that he asked you a question long before your mind started wandering. You smiled, a real smile, right at him. “Yes, if you're here with me, I'm happy.”

He scoffed playfully, still directly across from you. The only thing in your way was the kitchen table, creating some sort of barrier with your feelings. You could just…walk around it and enter his world, touch his face, run your hands through his hair…

“Well I’m just checking up on my y/n,” he smiled, that beautiful smile of his. He pushed up his sleeves, and turned away from you to pick up a cookie off the tray. “Come here.”

You obeyed like a well-trained dog, making your way past that invisible barrier. He stood close to you, his eyes bright and sparkling as he looked down at you. “Open,” he said, and once again, you obeyed like you owed him your life. 

You opened your mouth for him to give you a bite, his fingertips gliding against the corners of your mouth. You ate the cookie from his hold happily, and when he was going to pull away after it was gone, you suddenly gripped his wrist with your hand.

“What are you—”

“Shh. there's still some chocolate on your fingers,” you teased, looking into his eyes as you licked the tip of his fingers, trying your best to distract your horrible thoughts. Now your focus has moved to tease him, hoping to get a reaction out of him.

Your lips moved down onto his fingers, sucking on them until the taste of chocolate was dull. You shut your eyes, not able to see the look of lust radiating from hongjoong’s glare. It disappeared the moment you met his eyes again, and he let out a chuckle as you pulled back.

“You really like chocolate, huh?” he carried on, his eyes moving back and forth from your eyes to your hand gripping his wrist. His vision was hazy as he pulled out of your grip, moving to distract himself with something—anything. “I thought you preferred my gingerbread cookies?”

You nodded, looking at him up and down. “Yeah, but only around christmas time.”

“Ah,” he gulped, reaching for the small towel that was hanging from the oven door. He wiped his hands hastily, moving away from you towards his little study–converted into a studio. “I gotta go finish my song, alright? Why don't you eat more of the cookies?”

He shut the door of his studio room with aggression, leaving you in a warm, chocolatey kitchen with flour all over the floor. You smiled down at it, making you think about him spilling it and cursing like a sailor. 

You loved him.

—

The week flew by, it was now mid-october. Your favorite season was slowly fading away with a blink of an eye, and you spent most of your autumn days cooped up in the emergency ward or your room, hiding from the sirens. Maybe this isn't for you, but once again—

You were too far in to quit, now. You loved it, you really did. You had that feeling–that ability—to save someone's life the way your parents’ lives could have been spared. You were doing a good thing, you couldn't handle the anxiety for the expense of someone's life.

You found yourself curled up in your cozy blanket in the corner of the couch, hongjoong sitting on the other side. He stared at you—watched your movements. He noticed everything about you, and knew when you were about to have an attack. 

“y/n? Why don't you put on your favorite show?” he asked you, but it was more of a demand. When you stared at him blankly from your curled over position, he sighed and stood up to grab the remote from the coffee table. After turning on some cartoons that you loved, he left the room to grab a glass of water.

When he came back, you were sitting up straight, staring off toward the window, looking at how the raindrops fell. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Just a desperate breath for air. You fisted the blanket in your hands, holding back your shakes. 

Hongjoong sat the cup of water down quickly, making his way over to you with a rush. He sat down next to you and wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his face into your shoulder. “Come on, angel. It's okay, I promise,” his voice echoed through your mind, your breathing getting unsteady and your hands twitching in your grip for them to stop. The feeling overwhelmed you—it was as if you were dying. His touch only helped a little in the heat of the moment, and he held you tightly as your body shaked.

You gasped for air, the tears of fear rolling down your cheeks. No matter how many times you go through these attacks, each time makes you feel like you wont make it through it. Hongjoong’s facial expression looked pained as he reached for your hands under the blanket, gripping them in his own so you weren't cutting crescents into your palms.

“Let's play the letter game, okay?” his head was still buried in your neck, his voice strong. “An animal. Okay? An animal that starts with A?”

You gulped, tearing into the skin of his hand with your nails. “A…animal?”

He chuckled, nodding. “Yes angel, an animal. What animal starts with the letter A?”

“Uh,” you breathed, the tears now staining his shirt. “A-ant eater?”

He pulled away from your neck, his free hand running down your cheek to catch the tears. “Good job. B?”

You took a second, panicking when you couldn't think of something. Hongjoong ran a hand through your hair as you shook, holding onto you tightly. “It's okay, I'll help you. Bear? Buffalo? You like buffalo sauce, right? You like the spice.”

You nodded, smiling at his efforts. He did this with such love in his eyes that you could have sworn he was in love with you. That he cared for you this deeply.

He smiled, brightening up your heart. “Good, good. Now C?”

“Cat.” 

“Wonderful,” he cooed, running a hand down your arm. He carried on through the alphabet, until he reached H.

“Hongjoong,” you smiled, finally feeling a bit more like yourself and not some mummy locked in its own body.

He laughed melodically, causing your smile to brighten even more. “I’m not an animal,” he teased, pulling you to his chest and running a hand down your back. “Are you feeling better?”

You nodded, your hand tremors dying down. Hongjoong didn't let go of your hand yet, still holding onto you as tight as he could.

“I just want to take it all away,” he whispered softly, his lips near your ear. Little did he know that he did take the pain away. He was the source of your happiness—you needed him.

“You do,” you hummed back raspily, your heart on your sleeve as he kept you close to him. “You do take the pain away.”

He sighed, kissing your temple with such softness, you crumbled in his hold. 

“I don't think it's enough.”

You didn't say anything after that. He did let go of you reluctantly after you said you needed the water, but the minute you finished drinking it, he was back to holding you, his head against yours as silence enveloped you both in the darkness of the room.

You were certain friends don't kiss each other like that.

—

The next week of October came—the week before halloween.  This time, you felt better than last week. The constant presence of dressing up as something this year was heavy on your chest, knowing your colleagues have invited you to a party. You have yet to ask hongjoong to join you, as you wouldn't dare show your face alone. 

You took a day off on the first day of the week, hongjoong sick as a dog and your heart aching for him.

You brewed some hot tea and fixed him up a bowl of his favorite soup, caring for him the same way he catered to you. The thing was that he denied it most of the time, leaving you standing alone with your heart in your hands, ready to give it to him.

You set the bowl of soup on a tray you normally used as decor, spilling it slightly that the wood of the tray darkened. You rolled your eyes at your clumsiness, and then set the mug of tea on the stained wood.

Making your way up the thin, creaky townhouse stairs, you reached his room at the end of the hallway. He left the door open a crack, inviting you in at any given moment. So you entered the sunlit room, his curtains pulled back and his head hidden under the duvet. All you could see of him was his little wave of orange hair and a foot peeking from the cover.

“Joongie,” you cooed, cautiously entering his abode with nervousness. You knew him for ages, took care of him for ages, but everytime you got close to him, you felt your chest get heavy. Almost as if something was pushing you down. “Are you awake?”

He groaned something inaudible, tossing around in the bed until half of his body was out of the covers. He was shirtless, his smooth, slightly toned stomach glistening with sweat. You sighed, collecting your dirty thoughts.

You set the tray down on his nightstand, pushing aside the cough medicine and dirty tissues you would clean up after. Little pumpkin was sitting at the foot of the bed, watching your every move. 

“I have dinner for you,” you hummed, reaching over to him, but pausing at his unclothed body. It was as if you were a feral animal—you wanted to devour him.

You ignored the instinct and pulled up the covers.

“What is it? I’m not hungry,” he groaned groggily, his eyes barely opening. He let out a cough, and it made you want to take his sickness away. 

“You need to eat, you haven't eaten all day.”

He sighed, pushing himself up on the bed, revealing his body after you concealed it. He leaned up against his headboard, sniffling. His eyes were sunken in and his lips were pale, but you still thought he was the most beautiful being in the world.

You wanted to kiss away his chapped lips.

“Soup?” he said raspily, looking over at his night stand. He went to reach for it, but nearly spilled the tray.

You grabbed the bowl, and went to sit on the edge of the bed, next to his sweating frame. He definitely still had a fever. “Here, take it while I take your temp.”

He grabbed the soup out of your hold, his warm fingers brushing against yours. He didn't hesitate when you leaned over him, but you heard his breaths get shallow when you brushed away the hairs off his face to place your hand on his forehead.  “Stay away from me,” he blinked at you, and even though his words seemed harsh, it was all out of love. “You’ll get sick. I don't want you to get sick.”

“I’d rather be sick than watch you suffer,” you smiled at him, your eyes lingering on his chapped lips for a moment too long. “You look better than you did this morning.”

He swallowed a spoonful of the soup, shutting his eyes tight as the warm liquid coated his sore throat. 

“Thank you,” he said. It was only an acknowledgement in words, but his eyes pierced through yours as you sat inches away from him. He meant it, but you were too involved to read between the lines of his breaths.

He breathed for you.

You stood up to leave him peace, but your breath hitched as his warm hand reached your thigh, causing you to look down at it cautiously. 

“Don't—” he paused, lifting his grip and moving to set down the bowl of soup. “Don't go.”

You didn't let the smile creep up onto your lips. “I thought you didn't want me to get sick?” you instigated, but nonetheless moved further onto the bed, holding onto his overheating frame with all the love in the world. 

“I don't, but I want to be selfish today,” he coughed, nuzzling his head into you. His lips were pressed to your neck, sending chills down your spine. Your fingertips caressed his bare skin, hoping to take away his sickness. 

You held him until the sun went down, thinking that was enough for him.

Feeling as though he was sleeping, you tried to pull yourself out of his grip, to which he pulled you to him even tighter. Now your faces were an inch apart as you both lied on the bed, his hot breaths tickling your lips.

“Where are you going?” he asked you.

“Nowhere,” you smiled, looking into his tired eyes. You leaned forward, resting your head against his. “I’m sorry.”

He sighed in contentment, letting out a breath as his arms tightened around you. He didn't speak—he just looked at you with hearts in his eyes. 

“Don't leave me,” he whispered.

You ran a hand through his messy hair. “I won't, I won't.”

He fell asleep in your arms, all while your mind kept you up the whole night. You knew this isn't what normal friends do—but this is how you were together, which was normal for you.

You got sick the day after.

—

On the third day of the week before halloween, you both were finally feeling better. He seemed back to normal, but you still had a slight sore throat that made you not want to eat. Hongjoong insisted the same way you made him eat the soup, and he cooked up your favorite pasta meal.

“You need to eat,” he muttered, using tongs to place a scoop of pasta onto a plate. You sat across from him at the table, your head in your hands.

“I have a splitting headache,” you groaned, lifting your head up to catch the glimmer in hongjoong's caring glance.

He handed you the full plate, your nose filled with the delicious scent. “I’ll get you some medicine.”

“I’m fine, joongie,” you mumbled with a rasp, twirling your pasta around in your fork, but not lifting it up into your mouth. You stared at the thin noodles that dangled from the metal, distracted as the sauce splattered onto the plate. Hongjoong watched you, an eyebrow raised and his lip curled up.

He sat down across from you. “I uh…is there a hair in it or something?” he asked you, but a joking smile dawned on his face. “If there is, still eat it. I won't do take-backs.”

“Awe, how kind,” you chuckled, finally lifting the fork up to eat the delicious pasta. You closed your eyes as the taste filled your senses, opening them to see the look Hongjoong was giving you.

“You look pretty today,” he acknowledged, his eyes dancing around your features. He blinked at you, waiting for you to brush it off.

Boom boom.

Your heart picked up its pace. “Don't lie, joong. It doesn't suit you.”

He rolled his eyes, resting his head in his hands as he stared at you. Your phone buzzed with a text message from your work friend, which reminded you about something that happened earlier during the day.

“Oh,” you muttered with a mouthful of food. “Some guy asked for my number today,” you took another bite.

Hongjoong tilted his head at you, and then moved his gaze to his own plate of food, grabbing his fork to stab the noodles. “Oh really?”

You nodded, swallowing the food as he glared down at his own. “Yeah. he was cute. What was his name….uh, yun..yunho? Super tall, let me tell you. It was like staring up at a skyscraper—”

Hongjoong interrupted you with a loud scoff, accidentally screeching his fork against the plate. “Did you give him your number, though?” he asked you, acting as if you didn't.

You studied him for a moment, feeling confused. He seemed to care more than he should. You honestly gave the cute skyscraper your number, but you didn't have a thought in your mind about actually texting him back. 

You shrugged, playing with him a little bit. “Yeah, I did,” is all you said, smiling to yourself. You were sure hongjoong thought you were smiling about yunho, when in reality you were smiling for him. “He was too cute to reject.”

At that, Hongjoong’s fork clanked onto the plate, causing you to jump and look at him. He looked mad—too mad. You swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling like you hit a nerve.

“Joong? What's wrong?”

He laughed devilishly, his eyebrows raised and his mouth slightly open. “So what? Are you gonna go on a date with him or something?”

You knew you were pushing his buttons a little too far, but you furrowed your brows at his unusual behavior.

You leaned forward, setting your own fork down. “Hey,” you narrowed your gaze while he practically had smoke coming out of his ears. “Are you jealous? Should I not date him?”

He blinked at you, and looked down at your lips for a second.

 “No.” is all he said.

“He seems like a good fuck. Should just fuck him silly instead and—”

“y/n I swear to god,” he groaned, running a hand through his hair aggressively. “I, uh. Fuck,” he hissed, unable to look at you. “Thanks for the image.”

You frowned jokingly. “Ah, I see. You were visualizing me getting fucked?” you smirked, knowing you were taking it way too far. “Do you want to watch? Or join?”

You reached your  arm out, sensually touching his fisted hand. You ran your fingertips in circles around his hand, a smirk on your lips. 

He pulled back and stood up abruptly, causing the chair to squeak against the floor. “I-i have to go—I mean, I have a song to write…I uh…” he coughed, glancing at you for one minute and then storming out of the room, leaving you all alone with cold pasta and a frown on your face.

He didn't show his face to you that whole night.

—

Two days later; it was a friday. You had to go to campus early in the morning to listen to a required lecture, which ended up by you sitting next to hongjoong on the commuter bus.

He sat stiffly, his knee bumping into yours occasionally whenever the bus hit a pothole. You couldn't lie, you wanted him to stay touching you.

Ever since two nights ago when you brought up fucking someone and having him watch, he acted distant with you. You felt bad, hoping you didn't make him too uncomfortable with an image he probably never wanted to see in the first place.

Joong leaned against the cold bus window, looking out at the leaves that matched his hair. In his ears sat wired earbuds, attached to the jack of his phone. You leaned your shoulder into him, looking down at his hands in his lap.

No words were spoken. He lifted his head to look over at you, and after a moment, he sighed, and handed you the earbud closest to you. 

“Here,” he hummed, barely audible. 

You took it wordlessly, putting it in your ear to hear the soft strum of a guitar. You didn't recognize the song, but you felt the emotion fill through the little speaker, breaking through your heart. You always loved how he would share his favorite things with you, even if he was upset with you.

“I’m sorry, joongie,” you sighed, resting your head on his shoulder. He didn't say anything; maybe he was waiting for you to continue. “I shouldn't have said those things the other day.”

He mumbled something you couldn't decipher, but then nodded shortly. “It's not something to apologize for. I’m sorry I ignored you the whole night.”

You looked at his hands. He was rubbing his knuckles anxiously, so you reached out to hold them. He jumped slightly, and you gave him a side eye. 

He eventually settled with your hands on top of his, and your head against his shoulder. You listened to his whole playlist—and his heartbeat—until you had to leave.

—

The same night, you brought up the halloween party.

“I need you to come with me,” you said, your eyes pleading.

He sat next to you on the couch, pumpkin sleeping adorably in his criss-crossed lap. “Why don't you take the skyscraper?” he said blatantly, his expression unreadable. He held a bottle of soju in one of his hands and had the tv remote in the other.

Was he actually jealous? At this point, he hasn't been himself since you told him about Yunho, who you didn't even know his last name. 

You looked over at him, as he was paying strict attention to finding a movie. You began to overthink like you always do, convincing yourself that Hongjoong doesn't want anything to do with you. 

“Do you still want to be friends with me?” you ignored his question about yunho, now feeling a bit unstable.

He noticed the shake in your voice, and sat up straight. He finally looked over at you, his eyes softening. 

“y/n,” he sighed, setting the remote down. “Of course I do. Don't worry about me leaving you.”

Your gaze shot right through him. “But…you just seem off. Ever since I joked about….you know,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair. “It's something you probably had no intention of visualizing, so I feel bad—”

“No, uh,” he gulped, looking anywhere but you. “It wasn't that…”

You raised your eyebrows. “Huh? Really? What was it then?”

He looked deep in thought—and a little nervous. You wanted the words that came out of his mouth to be a love confession, something straight out of a movie. You knew it wasn't going to turn out that way, but you couldn't stop your heart from beating out of your chest.

“I just,” he paused, afraid to look over at you. “I just worry about you. I want the best for you.”

Ouch, that wasn't a confession.

Come on, hongjoong. How hard is it to say, “Oh, y/n, I love you. I’ve loved you ever since I met you?”

You hid your dissatisfaction with a smile. “I can hold my own, joongie. I may be the most anxious person alive, but I can still meet guys.”

“I know you're capable, it's not you,” he admitted, looking a bit embarrassed as he shook the bottle of soju. “It's them. The guys. You deserve the world and I don't know what I would do if a guy took it all away.”

You sat and stared as he finally picked a movie—the nightmare before christmas. It wasn't your favorite, but something about it reminded you of Hongjoong. After it started playing, he tossed the remote onto the coffee table.

“I appreciate that you care,” you told him softly, looking down at your hands in your lap. “But you don't have to worry about guys.”

You sat in silence for a little, your heartbeat finally slowing down. He scooted closer and closer to you until pumpkin jumped out of his lap angrily. He saw that as an excuse to stand up and finally plop down next to you, his shoulder brushing yours. 

“You’re special to me, y/n,” is all he said as he rested his head on your shoulder, cuddling up to you under the warm, cozy blanket.

—

Tonight was the party. You were rooting through your closet, tossing things at hongjoong, who sat on your bed among the pile of clothes.

“We're being pirates, right? I’m sorry, but I doubt you have pirate shit in that closet of yours.” He teased, lifting up a shirt from the pile to fold it. 

Maybe you should have planned this better.

“I have to have my corset in here somewhere,” you ignored him, knowing you were just going to toss on a slutty ass dress and put the corset on over it. “Hongjoong come here, will you?”

You heard him let out an ungodly sigh as he stomped over to you, kneeling right next to you.  “What am I supposed to wear?”

“Hongjoong you literally have every possible article of clothing in your closet.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Shush.”

He stayed quiet then, and after a moment, he started to root with you. After a bunch of irritated sighs and groans, hongjoong found your corset. 

“This?” he raised an eyebrow playfully. You reached out to grab it, only for him to stand up and back away from you. “Come and get it.”

“We don't have time for this, joong,” you groaned, but still stood up and followed him. He was cackling as you tried to jump for it, standing on his tip-toes as if he thought of himself as a giant. You moved forward, lunging at him with full force, which sent you tumbling down onto the smooth comforter of your bed.

You landed on top of him, his warmth radiating through you. Your hips met his hips, and something stirred inside of you. His lips were inches from yours, his hands over his head and his eyes wide.

You felt more of him than you should, but you didn't want to move. You wanted to invade his space forever—if it were a job, you’d  be a professional.

He didn't say anything—he looked up through the sea of your hair, his gaze resting on your lips. He frowned, and you wondered what he was thinking.

You wanted to reach out to him. To hold him right here, forever. You wanted him to be yours and only yours.

You studied the shapes of his face, similar to how an artist evaluates their subject. He had to be sculpted by a god or something, with the way his lips curve just right, and with the compelling wonder that swirled in his eyes.

Before it got too weird, you pushed yourself up despite the ache to become one with him, and you ripped the corset out of his hands. “Thanks,” you coughed, and he still didn't move from his position on the bed.

He stared up at the ceiling—the ceiling you decorated with those tacky glow in the dark stars. The room was dimly lit from the warm-toned lamp that sat on your dresser, right next to your pile of anatomy textbooks.

You both listened to silence for a while, Hongjoong now sitting up after a few long moments. You found the dress you wanted to wear, and gave him a look.

“I’m gonna change, so if you want to see every part of me, you're welcome to stay.” you muttered, your fingertips on the waistband of your leggings. He looked at your hands, his eyes growing darker.

He raked his eyes all over your clothed body. You wondered about what he was thinking—did he want to rip the clothes off of you? Did he want to stay and watch?

Your curiosity ended when he stood up slowly. “Come help me with my outfit then. After you change, of course.”

A small fraction of your heart caved in as the door shut behind him, but the ache for him remained standing.

You slid off your clothes, wishing your hands were his.

—

You waltzed into the party, which was at your colleague, yeosang’s place. He was born with old money, and it showed through the exquisite taste of his home. He was nowhere to be found though—which was normal. He wasn't exactly sociable. The one who took it by the wheel was his best friend wooyoung, who seemed like he would embody a party.

“I didn't pregame enough,” Hongjoong gulped as he stared at the strangers around the home, some guzzling alcohol from bongs and others simply conversing with each other. On the other hand, there were a bunch of people blowing big puffs of hazy marijuana smoke, and others snorting shit that you never touched before.

Joong shivered. “Aren't you guys like…medical students?” He raised an eyebrow, his one eye covered with an eye patch and his other one wide. “You have to know that snorting cocaine is not beneficial to your health.”

You slapped his shoulder, feeling out of this world already. Maybe you shouldn't have slammed those shots. “Whatever. Lets go get fucked up so i don't have to remember this tomorrow,” you wrapped your arm in his, pulling him into the grand kitchen that had a chandelier dangling from the vaulted ceiling.

“I think you’re blown out enough, to be honest.”

You reached in the cooler to grab a bottle of some sort of alcohol you didn't recognize. “I’m guessing this shit is like millions of dollars,” you shrugged, handing it off to the pirate you called hongjoong. 

He looked fine as hell in his own corset, brown leather wrapping around that thin waist of his. He had on a half-unbuttoned white button down, pulled up at the elbows. His pants were tight, leaving your mind wandering back to earlier when your hips bucked against his. His rusty hair was hidden under a bandana that matched your dress, with flakes of greens and dustings of gold.

“y/n? Hello?” he snapped his fingers in front of your face, his one eye piercing into yours. “You zoned out for a minute.”

“Ah, oh sorry,” you sighed, looking down at your own outfit. Your dress was flowy, but only reached about mid-thigh, showing leg and tits at the same time. Your legs were covered in fishnets, and you noticed many partygoers staring at them. 

You reached into the cooler to grab yourself a drink, guzzling it like water. Hongjoong watched, and then did the same. You both pulled away at the same time, expressions matching like twins as you scrunched your eyebrows.

“Thats strong as fuck,” he hissed, but still drank the rest of the bottle since thats what you were doing. His eyes locked on you as you finished the last drop, and you reached for another. “Yo, slow down. You downed like five shots of vodka earlier.”

You rolled your eyes, finally feeling like yourself. You loved the feeling of being drunk—you felt like you could finally be the person you were under the surface. The person without anxiety. The person who didn't have to hide how to feel.

“You know,” you hummed, setting down the second bottle onto the gold counter. You approached him, your hands finding the collar of his unbuttoned shirt. You watched him swallow hard, his Adam's apple bobbing—you wanted to lick it. “Did I ever tell you how hot you are?”

Hongjoong’s eyes—eye— widened at your words, and set his hands on your elbows to pull you off of him. “You’re obliterated and we weren't even here for five minutes.”

“I’m not,” you rolled your eyes, pulling out of his grip and grabbing his arms now.

He didn't even get to say what he wanted to say as the skyscraper himself came up to you, bending his head down slightly to see if it was you. 

“y/n?” His tone of voice was smooth and cool, your name rolling off his tongue with ease.

“Oh!” you exclaimed, moving your attention away from hongjoong. “Skyscraper!” 

He laughed, looking from you to hongjoong with a confused glance. “She must be drunk, she’s usually quiet at work,” yunho said to hongjoong, not expecting the glare of death to radiate from his single eye.

“Oh no, she’s loud and obnoxious at home,” Hongjoong growled, reaching out to steady you. 

The tall vampire tilted his head at the pirate, a smirk on those full lips. “Home?” he inquired, looking at you with that same smirk. You glanced up at him with a smile, not purposely ignoring your roommate. You were just a teensy bit drunk—call it tipsy—and you were fascinated with the red contacts in Yunho's eyes.

“Did you change your eye color?” you asked him in all seriousness, looking over at the cooler filled with alcohol with longingness. Hongjoong scoffed at your words, and couldn't stop you as you reached out to touch Yunho's face, which remained in a smirk as your fingertips brushed against his skin. “Even your skin is sparkly.”

“You never answered me,” he hummed lowly, hongjoong feeling like the third wheel now. The vampire leaned down towards your face, a lustful smile on his lips. “About that date?”

Hongjoong had enough. He muttered a goodbye, but you weren't able to hear it.

“Hmmm…” you clicked your tongue, tapping your chin slowly. “I’m sorry, count dracula. I have someone in my heart already,” you proudly proclaimed.

He smiled despite the rejection, his white teeth bright under the dim lighting. “I’m guessing it’s that one-eyed pirate, hm?” he asked, but he knew the answer.

“Yep. even though he’s a little bitch sometimes,” you bowed to him then, lifting your gaze to meet his red eyes. “Sorry again.”

He nodded with a smirk. “Well your pirate just ran off somewhere, so you better go find him before he thinks something different.”

You might have been a bit out of it, but you knew enough that yunho was a good sport. He walked away before you could say anything else, leaving you all alone in a sea of people. You recognized some faces, like wooyoung and some guy named yeonjun from the general surgery department who hit on you during a surgical lesson. You surveyed the scene, meeting eyes with some random men who kept looking even when you moved your gaze.

You grabbed another drink from the cooler, flipping the cap off and dumping its contents into your mouth. After the rush of warmth hit your body, you pushed through the bodies of people in search of your person.

“Anyone see another pirate?” you yelled to no one in particular. “He has orange hair and a pretty face. Has one eye and—Oh, he’s kinda short too. Like a little leprechaun.” 

Now you were just blabbing into nothingness as your vision split. You know damn well your alcohol tolerance was scarily low, but you still got yourself fucked up to the point of no coming back.

You weren't sure where you were going, but you found yourself outside now, behind the extravagant mansion. You stood on the patio, shivering from the lack of clothing and cool autumn air.

You looked out towards the yard, intricately covered in plants and flowers. If you were sober, you’d call it a garden. For now, it was just a pile of vegetation.

“Joongie! You yelled loudly, as if he was going to suddenly fly out of the bushes to greet you. There was no one around—not even a bug. “Joong? Pirate king? Captain—”

“You’re too loud,” his sweet voice filled your eardrums, but it sounded dull—like he was irritated. “Why don't you go entertain that vampire?”

“Because…” you drawled out, turning towards him in the ocean of flowers. You stood in the middle of a surreal garden, but it was too dark to see the colors. There was a small lamppost above you, only coloring a quarter of the flowers in your view. “Because I want my pirate.”

His eye studied you for a moment, and then he sighed, leaning up against the post. “Y/n, I—”

“Shh,” you whispered, drunkenly leaning up against him, unable to tear your drunken eyes from his lips. “You have something on your lip,” you hummed, the pads of your fingers brushing against his soft lips. There was nothing there; you just wanted to touch them.

“ah-ah-Okay, I think you got it—”

“ —I want to kiss you,” you whined, crushing your head against his chest. You heard his heart race as you touched him. “I want to kiss you so bad.”

He stiffened underneath you, his arms at his sides as you held onto him. “You're drunk.”

“I know, but I want to kiss you even when I’m sober,” you lifted your head up, frowning when you only saw one eye. You brushed your fingers against the soft skin of his face, gripping onto the eye-patch softly. “And I want to see your pretty eyes.”

He kept quiet and still, letting you lift the eye-patch over his head, your hazy gaze meeting his starstruck one. Your hand didn't leave his face even after the patch was gone, and he just stood there with all the love in the world in his gaze.

You leaned forward, slowly, carefully, and met your lips with his. You gripped his shirt, your knuckles turning white and your eyes shut tight. He finally snaked an arm around your waist, parting your mouth open with his own. He kissed you hungrily, as if he couldn't hold back even if he wanted to. It felt like ecstasy, two worlds colliding. You now felt like you could tell the colors of the flowers—you felt like you could do anything.

And once he gripped the back of your head to deepen the kiss, you woke up drenched in more than sweat, your clothes missing and your hair like a halo around your head.

What the fuck?

—

Was it all a dream? Did you even go to that party? Did you…did you even get to kiss Hongjoong?

You looked under the covers to see the same underwear you put on before the party—paired with the matching bra. You felt drenched to your core, dreaming about something—

“You're awake,” hongjoong gave you a weird glance as he walked into your room to toss you a hoodie of his. “Put this on.”

“Where are my clothes?” you asked with an eyebrow raised. “Did we…”

He stopped in his tracks, looking at you like a deer in headlights. “Did we what? Fuck?” he scoffed, turning away to walk out of your room. “No. and I took your clothes off because you threw up all over them.”

“So, did we actually go to the party?” you barely spoke, gripping the blanket tightly in your hands. “I had this weird dream…”

He swallowed hard and nodded, turning back to you but not meeting your eyes. “Yeah, we went.”

So you blacked out? Or was your dream possibly real?

He left the room then, leaving you all alone in a mess of yourself—and your thoughts.

After a bit of time wallowing in your own self-pity, you managed to leave your comfortable hiding spot you called a room to go downstairs, where hongjoong had a bowl of hangover soup ready for you on the table. He was nowhere to be seen, though, so you assumed he was out doing something or in his little makeshift studio.

Telling yourself it was all a dream so you wouldn't get your hopes up, you plopped down onto the chair to eat. You stared down at the soup, swirling it around with the spoon like you’ve never seen it before, your mind everywhere else but the idea of eating.

Eventually you raised the spoon to your mouth, but the thoughts of hongjoong didn't subside. He was the reason you wanted to keep on living in this god-forsaken world, and you couldn't risk the possibility of ruining your friendship. You decided to not speak of your dream, or even express your feelings, for the sake of keeping him by your side.

After you finished your breakfast, you tip-toed through the creaky floors to peek and see if Joong was in his hideout. As soon as you saw the rush of orange hair, you smiled, and left him alone. Pumpkin was staring at you through the glass window, lying comfortably on the plush carpet he had. 

You walked away then, tossing on your jacket and a pair of shoes, and made your way to the convenience store around the corner. You didn't want to interrupt Hongjoong’s focus just to tell him that you wanted some banana milk.

You left him in peace, not knowing that he was going to worry about where you went.

—

You walked slowly towards your townhouse, watching the leaves land on the sidewalk. Some leaves even left imprints on the pavement, greenish-hues as the remnant of when they once lived. 

Halloween was right around the corner. The party was over. You kissed the love of your life—in a dream, of course. It seemed like the world was moving so fast, as if you had no time to hold on as it moved.

You swung the door open, finding hongjoong in panic mode, his hand in his hair and the other one gripping his phone. 

Your eyes widened. “Joong?” you tilted your head, slipping off your shoes before moving further. “Everything alright?”

He let out a sigh of relief, dropping his hands to his sides. “I didn't know where you went. You didn't answer your phone.”

You frowned, patting the pockets of your hoodie—hongjoongs hoodie. “Oh? I must've forgotten it.”

He scoffed as you walked past him to reach the fridge. You emptied the bag, putting the banana milk into the fridge and pulling out the cheap, single rose the store had at the register.

“You don't know how worried I was,” he groaned, rubbing his eyes in irritation. “You can't just leave without saying anything, I thought you were kidnapped.”

You chuckled softly, smiling to yourself that he cared. The smile began to drop, though, as you began to think it was only platonic—and that's all it will ever be.

You turned around to face him, a forced smile on your face. “Here,” you said, handing him the nearly-dead red rose that had a slightly bent stem. 

He looked down at the token of affection, confusion washing over his features. “A  r-rose?” he stuttered slightly, eyes meeting yours. “For me?”

“Mhm,” you nodded, taking a step closer to him. 

“Why?” he inquired, his eyes searching yours for any type of answer.

You gathered what you wanted to say, swallowing hard. “Because you're my best friend. I never want to lose our friendship.”

You saw his hesitation then. It was as if you said something hurtful, but all you spoke was the truth. He let out a little laugh, and reached out to grab the decaying flower.

His fingers brushed against yours, sending chills down your spine. The minute your skin made contact with his, you replayed the kiss you shared in dreamland, hoping that if you kept thinking about it, it would come true.

“Ah, Best friend…” he smiled—almost sadly—and inspected the rose. “Thank you.”

You sniffed, feeling like you just ruined something. But there was nothing there to begin with. You nodded, and turned on your heels. 

“I uh, I’m going out then,” he spoke up, his hands feeling the petals. 

You stopped, looking down at your bare feet. “Oh really? Where?”

He paused. “With friends.”

You nodded, but didn't turn around. “Have fun.”

He didn't say anything else, and just let you trudge up the stairs. Your heart felt like it was about to crumble, and without reason. Nothing changed, nothing was broken. You said the truth, he told you he was going out. A typical day in your household.

So why did it feel like your world just ended?

—

Days fly by. Hongjoong ended up coming home the next morning that day, and without a word, he locked himself up in his studio.

It was halloween. You felt like it was pointless now, unable to connect to your hongjoong like you never had a connection in the first place. As if you didn't spend every waking moment together. Birthdays, holidays.

You stood in front of your full length mirror, critiquing every single angle of your body. You knew deep down you were beautiful; some days you just saw everything wrong all at once. You stood there, lost, alone, and still thinking of hongjoong like he was living in your mind. 

And one day, you’ll watch hongjoong leave, causing life to lose all its meaning.

You sighed, pulling your jeans up slightly to button them. You slid a t-shirt over your bra, feeling like you waited for this day for nothing. You felt numb—like the anticipation was worth nothing. You slid on a pair of festive socks, finally getting your bare feet off the cold, wooden floors.

It was still early—not even noon. Usually you’d be at work and joong would be at school, but you were both home, locked away in your rooms, acting like you don't exist. Well, you didn't want it to play out this way—you wanted to run into his arms, tell him you love him, and bury him in kisses in the halloween haze.

You had no plans, despite it being the night of the year for you. The party was over, your heart was aching, and you felt like you could crumble to the ground like an old building. It was just one of those days that you didn't feel like yourself—and what better time than the night you're supposed to be anything but true.

After grabbing a hat to keep your ears warm, you waltzed your way down the hallway, only to cause hongjoong to peek out of his doorway. He looked tired. 

“Where are you going?” he asked you softly, his voice scratching your brain just right.

You didn't realize you were picking at your fingers until he looked down at them. You put your hands at your sides, and looked up at him. “To go get candy for the tick-or-treaters tonight,” you hummed as a response, staring into his gaze, getting lost in it for a moment too long. 

He looked at your outfit, his eyes examining you the same way you looked at yourself—however, he wasn't critiquing. He was admiring. No matter what you wore, he looked at you like you were made of gold.

He nodded, tearing his gaze away from your eyes. “Okay.”

You turned around after it felt too awkward, feeling as though something was ruining your relationship. There was no warmth, no comfort. It all happened after you gave him that rose, holding back your feelings like he held back his tears.

Time passed like the world was spinning too fast, and you went on with your day as if it was any other day. 

When you came back from the store, you poured the candy into a cute little serving bowl, stealing a chocolate bar like you were a kid again. A part of your soul ached as you stared down at the bowl, thinking about the days when you were the one grabbing the handfuls and eating too much candy. Back to the time when life was simple. 

Hongjoong was in his studio, and you heard the dull vibrations of his voice. He was singing like he always did, but this time, you wanted him to sing for you.

You ignored it as best as you could and forced yourself to dress up in a slightly more modest pirate outfit, and after the sun began to set, you found yourself sitting outside on your porch alone. Bundled up in a blanket and a mug of hot tea in your hand, you waited patiently for the kids to come around for the candy.

Sirens blared loudly, an ambulance passing the street in front of you. You watched as the bright reds and whites reflected off the windows of the houses around you, and how the wind from it knocked more leaves to fall to their death. 

You watched them crumble to the ground in front of you, small little feet stepping on them as they walked by your home. One little girl came up to you, her little shoes crunching the decaying life underneath them, and you looked up to her from your seated position. 

“Trick or treat?” she asked you, her face covered in paint and her smile as bright as can be.

“Take a handful,” you murmured, forcing a smile onto your pirate persona. She smiled at you and tossed the candy into her bag, and you were too distracted to hear the door open behind you. The only sign was the brightened look on the girl’s face as she looked behind you.

“Another pirate?” she mumbled, dimples showing through her scarecrow face paint. “Is he your boyfriend?”

You hesitated, but shook your head. “Oh, no. He's just my friend.”

Hongjoong forced out a chuckle, and came up to sit next to you. “Happy Halloween,” he smiled, his leg bumping yours. You didn't shy away, but you didn't move any closer.

As the girl left, you sat in silence with hongjoong for what felt like ages. You smelled alcohol on his breath, wearing his mask like normal. You were dying to know his true feelings about everything. You lived with him for years, but yet, he knew everything about you and you knew very little about him.

A few more kids stopped, grabbed some candy, and left. As if the time flew by once again, the bowl was empty, and so was your heart.

“I have to go use the bathroom,” you let him know as you stood up. He looked from you to the empty bowl, but made no effort to come inside with you. 

“Okay,” he nodded, not looking in your direction. You left his presence, needing some air.

You walked towards the bathroom that was past his studio until you noticed the door open. Pumpkin was sitting on a pile of papers, and knowing how finicky your hongjoong was, you quickly entered the sacred grounds to get the cat off the pile. With your luck, you startled pumpkin, causing her to let out a scared yelp and leap off the pile, knocking over all the sheets at once.

You let out a gasp, followed by a groan, as you quickly tried to pick up the papers. That is, until you came across some lyrics of what it looked like a song…

A  song for a lover?

It was titled, halloween, and as your eyes ran across the words on the page, a few stood out. Words like roommate, coffee, watching movies, hugs, dinner, and home. His home was her. His home was with her, his love was for her.

You were his…home? His love?

“Put that down,” Hongjoong growled behind you, but his tone of voice wasn't harsh—it was defeated. “It’s nothing special.”

“I think otherwise, joong,” you murmured softly, still reading the lyrics as they made your heart race. “Is this about…me?”

He came up beside you, his face right next to yours. He ripped the paper out of your hands and held it behind his back as you turned to him. “Yeah,” he breathed, but shook his head. “But it means nothing now, okay? So don't misunderstand—”

“Can you sing it for me?”

He stared at you, wide eyed. You both were in your pirate garb, his one eye covered by the eye-patch. You thought back to your dream of lifting it up, kissing him, holding onto him….

He didn't say much. He just stared for a while, unsure about your motives. Clearly you made it known that he was just a friend to you, but little did he know that you wanted everything under the sun with him.

He sighed, and sat down onto his bench in front of the keyboard. As his painted fingers slid across the keys, he started to sing to the lyrics that were meant for you. He bled through the words, telling the story of you and him, sharing a space, and putting on masks. It was halloween, the song was called halloween, and he sang with all the love in the world to you.

It had to be a dream. There was no way he was sitting in front of you, tipsy, and proclaiming his years-long love for you through a song. It was unreal, and when he stopped singing and turned to you, you saw the concern drip off his face as he looked at your expression.      

He swallowed hard, standing up to face you. “Listen, don't think much of it. Like I said, it’s worthless now and—”

You gripped the back of his head and kissed him, holding him tightly as he stood stoically. After a few moments, you pulled away, leaving his lips a mess of red from your lipstick. “I–I’m sorry. That was a little—”

He took a step forward, like you were his prey. Gripping your arm, he pulled you to him, his lips on yours with no spare of a glance. Your hands found their home in his hair, gently sliding off his eye patch with your fingers. You kissed each other as if it was your last—as if this would only last the night.

You pulled back, resting your forehead on his as his hot breath kissed your features. 

“I…what does this make us?” you gulped, counting his breaths, happy that he was living at the same time as you. “Its…its halloween…we can be, you know,” you got distracted as his gentle hands caressed your arm. “We can be anything.”

He smiled at you, love dripping from his gaze. He kept his hold tight on you, and mumbled his answer into your head. 

“I’ll be whatever you want,” he breathed into you, and you found yourself melting into his hold.            

His lips, his hands, his breath—everything collided. Two became one once again as he kissed you, kissed you so hard that you lost your breath. Your hands meshed within the rust of his hair, your fingertips painted in orange. His tongue met the roof of your mouth the same way your hands gripped at him, repeating his words over and over in your mind.

Whatever you want…

I’ll be whatever you want…

He lifted you up then, holding onto your body tightly to set you onto his desk, knocking off all his music sheets and crumbled up papers. His finger nails pierced against the bare skin of your thighs, his lips now on your neck as you fiddled with the buttons on his shirt.

He let out a moan as your fingers grazed his chest, finally pulling his shirt off his body to admire him. You let out a content sigh, wanting to taste the soju on his lips. Not yet, though, as his hands gripped the corset you were wearing, untying the laces and ripping it off your body, slightly rough but his touch was smooth.

You sat on his desk, ready for him to claim you as his own. Even if it was just for the night, you weren't thinking long term as his strong arms pulled your dress right over your head, leaving you only in your underwear.

“My god, I always wanted to do that,” he groaned, his lips meeting your neck as his hands trailed down your stomach to meet the waistband of your underwear. As his fingers slipped underneath the fabric, you arched your back into his touch.

“You like that, huh?” he whispered in your ear as you looked down at the bulge of his pants, seizing the opportunity to get him flustered. “You turn me the fuck on, you have no idea, y/n.”

Your hands brushed his erection, a sinister smile on hongjoongs pained face. He smacked his head into yours, his teeth bright white as he showed them.  “Careful, baby. I’ve been waiting years to fuck you. I don't want it to end too quick.”

“Years?” you breathed into his lips your head tilted up as his hand found its home and started to slide the underwear down your hips. 

He didn't answer. What he did do was pull them down your legs, and then as soon as they were off, he kneeled down onto the ground in front of you, treating you like a peasant would treat his goddess. His lips met your heat, the warmth from his breath stirring your mind into mush. You gripped his russet hair, fisting it as his tongue slipped inside you. You hissed, throwing your head back as you saw stars.

He worked magic, his lips becoming something you never wanted to lose. Eventually, he found his place above you, his fingers tilting your head back to look up at him. His hands reached out to pull your bra off, giving you a look of affirmation before gently lifting it over your head. 

He stood in front of you, vulnerability showing through like sunlight through a window. He was your sun—your warmth—your love.

No words were spoken after that. You unbuttoned his pants while he kissed your lips, entangled in each other's love and infatuation. He carried you up the steps then, gently setting you down onto his bed, the creak of the mattress springs underneath you. He kissed your forehead, your nose, your temple, your lips, and trailed all the way to your breasts, admiring them like they were all he dreamed about—you were all he dreamed about.

You looked into his stare, his dark brown eyes above yours. You felt the heat of his body, and every breath he took. You wanted to count his breaths every day for the rest of your life until they stopped. You wanted to entangle yourself into his soul, spinning yourself around his finger like the red string of fate.

You wanted to make love to him every night, crawl into his embrace like he was the only human on earth. He was like a warm fireplace on a cold winter day, the fall of snow during spring. And after all, at this moment as your eyes met before he entered you, his lips moved, your senses heightened as he spoke.

“I love you,” he hummed, his eyes sparkling in the dark. You were his source of light.

After those words, he collapsed into you, his hips meeting yours and your lips meshing together. He didn't give you a chance to respond—maybe he was scared of rejection. He had nothing to worry about, and as he made love to you, you ran your hands through his hair to keep it out of his eyes.

You moaned as he rhythmically crashed into you, his lips parted and his arms tightened. You wrapped your legs around his thin waist, his upper body crashing into yours, forehead to forehead, lips to lips, chest to chest, hearts beating the same beat. His hands found your breasts, grabbing them as if they would break under his touch. He trailed his lips down your neck to your chest, kissing you sensually, tastefully, treating you like a work of art. 

Your vision became hazy as you reached your high, and after he noticed your climax, he smiled to himself, letting out a moan. “Good girl,” he praised, and then flipped you over onto your stomach with a groan. You positioned yourself for him, back arched as his fingertips glided against your skin. His hands ran down your sides, his hips meeting your ass as he gripped it with his hands, entering you once again like it was his home.

“I want this every day,” he pushed into you, his breaths hitting the back of your neck, causing you to tumble onto the bed, unable to hold yourself up from his strength. “Every night. For the rest of my life, I want you.”

You wanted to cry out of happiness. You wanted to turn around and tell him you want it too, that you’ve loved him since that one day he held you. He was all you ever wanted; ever needed.

He fucked you, made love to you, as if it was the last time. His body clashed into yours, letting out the most beautiful moans. He was born to be yours, you were born to be his. Your bodies fit like pieces of a puzzle, and as he reached his ending, you gripped onto the pillow underneath you, crying out as he came into you, him spilling his love for you, through words and actions.

He breathed and breathed and breathed, his body collapsing onto yours, afraid to crush you. He pulled out of you slowly, finding his spot next to you on his bed. Your eyes met, then your lips, and then your love.

“I love you, too,” you smiled at him, your eyes blurry as his beauty took over. His hair was stuck to his forehead from all of his sweat, and you reached out to brush it behind his ears.

He was breathing heavily, staring into your eyes like they were the most beautiful color he’s ever seen. To you, it might be bland. To him—they were the only eyes that mattered. The only window he wanted to look through.

His arms snaked over your naked body, his touch feeling like ecstacy. You fell asleep deeply for the first time in ages, his soft voice humming you to sleep as the moon began to fall.

—

The next morning was just like any other. You woke up alone, no Hongjoong in sight, but the warm, delicious smell of breakfast reminded you that it was all real. You looked down, no clothes, no underwear, just you. The sheets were crumbled all messily, your heart feeling just the same.

You smiled after looking around, noticing little things around his room that just made sense. Everything about him made you feel butterflies.

You made your way down the stairs after tossing on one of hongjoong’s shirts, hoping to stir something up with him. It almost feels unreal with the way you proclaimed your love so quickly, and after all this time of hiding your feelings, it was now all out in the open.

The minute you reached the kitchen, you found hongjoong sitting in the chair next to a plate of food meant for you. He sat with his legs crossed and his eyes on you. His pretty hair was messy, and his lips were curled up in a smirk.

You smiled at him shyly.

“Oh no,” he shook his head at you, crossing his arms over his chest. He looked you up and down, smirking even more as he noticed the shirt that covered your upper body. You decided against pants, only coming out in your underwear and his shirt. “Don't go all shy on me after last night. And not when you look like…this.”

You cautiously walked towards him, and the minute you reached him, he tugged you into his lap, holding you with a look of admiration. 

“About last night—”

“If you're going to say it was a mistake, I will politely decline, angel,” he kissed your lips, lingering just a moment too long. It was blissful, despite your morning breath. “I need you. I can't be without you.”

I need you…

Did anyone need you? Was he the first person to actually want you?

You smiled sadly, but his expression made you feel comfortable. “I was just going to say that I enjoyed it,” you hummed, nodding. He chuckled at that, his arms tightening around your waist.

“I’m sorry I couldn't tell you sooner. About my feelings, I mean,” I babbled on, leaning his head onto you. “I got a little jealous with Yunho, and I couldn't stand the idea of you with someone other than me. And when you kissed me at the party, I got worried that you only made a drunken mistake—”

“Wait,” you raised your eyebrows, pulling back to look at him. “I actually kissed you at the party? I thought I dreamt that…” you spoke softly, subconsciously lifting your hand to your lips.

Hongjoong stared up at you for a moment and then smiled. “Ah, yeah. But you were so out of it. You passed out on my shoulder right after you made out with me.”

Your eyes widened. “Oh my god, I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “No, no. It's okay,” he swallowed, looking a bit nervous. “I…want to take care of you when you're drunk, and when you're sick, and when you're depressed. I want to hold you while you have your panic attacks—even though I wish I could take them all away.”

You sat and listened, watching the way his eyes bounced around the room as the food got cold. It wasn't even a thought in your mind as he told you he loved you without even saying the three words.

“I want to go through everything with you. Good, bad, whatever. As long as it's with you,” his eyes met yours then. “And as long as I can kiss you whenever.”

You picked apart his expression—his eyes were glassy and his lips were parted. His smile was a bit worrisome, as if he wasn't sure you wanted what he did. You smiled then, and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

“I’ll be expecting showers of kisses,” you smirked, kissing his lips like they were made for you. “And shower sex. I love shower sex.”

He laughed musically, his voice always so soothing to you. You knew that your time in this house was ending, as this was the last year before graduation. You weren't sure what time had planned for you, but you hoped it was him. 

There’s a time for everything. Your time with hongjoong was predetermined by fate. He was your soulmate if they existed. He was your sun, your moon, your universe. You spun around him like the moon to its earth, orbiting his existence like it was your destiny.

—

two years later,

Halloween Night

You stood on the steps of the townhouse, your phone clutched tight in your hands and a bag of candy in the other. Your heart ached the same way your feet did from all your running around at the hospital, your mind falling apart at its seam.

You stared at the red door, decorated with a festive autumnal wreath with the letters of your names. 

You pushed through the door, your senses in overdrive as the smell of apples took over as a candle burned on the table. Sitting next to it was pumpkin, staring at the flame, and then at you, letting out a meow.

It was two years since you got with hongjoong. Two years before you graduated. Two years before you got swamped in work, having a hard time balancing work and romance.

You and hongjoong kept the house, deciding it was your home. You had nowhere else to go if he wasn't with you, and you graduated in love and in bliss.

Two years later, a mess of love and homemade meals, watching movies together, commuting together, sleeping together, you had a ring on your finger, a permanent mark of your love that would last forever.

You weren't planning anything—you let life take the reins. The love of your life stood in the living room, in his hands was a single rose from the mini mart—the same type of shitty rose you bought for him to ruin your relationship. Clearly it failed, as he stood, love in his eyes and a smile on his lips.

“Hi, angel,” he whispered, his hair no longer orange. It was his natural black, grown out and curled around his ears. He was beautiful in every way, a knight in shining armor, holding out a decaying rose as the leaves fell from the trees beyond the window. “Happy two years.”

You scoffed, setting down the bag of candy onto the table next to pumpkin. “A rose?”

“Mhm,” he murmured, smiling brightly. 

“Why?” you inquired jokingly, walking closer to him.

He smiled prettily, his heart upon his sleeve. You watched him study you, look at every part of you. He loved you dearly, and as did you. You got a bit of butterflies from the deja vu, lost in the ocean of his eyes and drowning in the sea of his love.

He held out the rose.

“Because you're the love of my life.”

[ad0rechuu]

MY FRIENDS AS CAKES; A THREAD. ━━ OBEY ME p2

prompts / plot. ━━━━━ mcs shenanigans on twitter as they assign cakes to their companions

*𖤐₊ ━━━━━ gn! reader x purgatory hall + the demon lord castle , two shot smau : crack / fluff (?) , staring: mc, diavolo, barbatos, simeon, luke, solomon & the demon brothers, rating: pg-13 , tw: mentions of food, swearing, death, all the fun stuff, idk if luke’s technically counts as secreligious , notes: (solomon is younger than everyone but luke btw) i’m working on an ateez smau and a long form obey me series so enjoy this in the mean time ^_^ thank u for all the love on the previous part it was my first post so it’s been really lovely and overwhelming!! i’ll make a part three when the new character become official playables or i’ll just learn more about them because i’m only on lesson 60 !

masterlist | part one

[thelargefrye]

🌷 SMALLS’ FIC RECOMMENDATION LIST.

i've seen a lot of fic rec lists circulating in the community recently and so i felt like i should also make one to support fellow writers who i think really deserve that extra love and attention.

so this is also an appreciation post because i have quite a few things to say. these are mainly writers that i enjoy reading and think need a lot more love and attention because let's be honest, they have amazing ideas and people are just sleeping on them.

so, i'll just jump right into it! make sure to send these writers love and reblog their works!!!

my best friend and person i share a braincell with : @sanjoongie

check out her master list.

like you want to talk about talent? topaz is the one who breathes talent and ideas that literally no one else is coming up with. like if i had to read only one person for the rest of my life, it would be topaz because her writing is just amazing. her moodboards that she makes for her works, perfect. everything topaz does when it comes to writing is amazing, and i'm so glad that she's my best friend and braincell.

and not only that, but topaz is just nice to be talk to! like she makes you want to repeatedly talk to her and she is so good at helping flesh out my own ideas. i wouldn't have written half the things i did last year if it wasn't for her.

anyways, i'm so grateful and proud to call topaz my braincell because she's so amazing, talented, and nice. it breaks my heart that more people don't talk about HER. like you want to read something different and so well written then you need to read literally ANY work topaz has written.

topaz, my lovely braincell, thank you for putting up with me and my shit 24/7. if it wasn't for you i probably wouldn't have gotten out of my writer's block. and just now that i love you and thank you for being an amazing friend and writer.

and if you've gotten this far, i'll just straight up tell you that this is topaz appreciation post. so now i'll link some of my favorite works by her and tell you why i love them:

twilight academy ( all parts ) ( rated : mature )

wizard professor!seonghwa x wizard professor!f!reader ft. ateez

this currently has four parts and is still ongoing and is literally SO good. like who else is writing about a professor au WHERE THEY ARE ALL WIZARDS. and not to mention the worldbuilding and history that is all mentioned and talked about. its so so so good and the smut in it is absolutely to die for. and the chemistry between seonghwa and mc is so good, i love when they go back and forth.

breed ( part one ) ( rated : mature )

ateez x f!reader ( most of the members are aliens with san and another member being human )

now THIS is an alien au done right and different and basically sum it up with one sentence its "alien!teez doing sexual experiments" (from @/morethingsfandom). like its just so good and the SMUT! THE SMUT IS WHY WE ARE HERE PEOPLE!! THIS IS WHAT SCI-FI SMUT IS ABOUT!!! like this is honestly pure pwp and a nice switch up if maybe twilight academy isn't your thing.

see? topaz does everything!

dragon oracle ( here ) ( rated : mature )

dragon!ateez x dragon!f!reader ( based off of my own dragon au )

THIS!! in my opinion is one of topaz's best works (i may be biased lol) and def my favorite from all time. topaz took my au and did her own spin on it and made it her own. she cared about the source material, asked questions, let me ramble, and then boom! a masterpiece was made. if you like my dragon au, then i highly, HIGHLY recommend you read this. and if you've already read... then read it again.

i wish it was me ( here ) ( rated : 18+ )

water bender!san x avatar!hongjoong x water bender!f!reader x water tribe warrior!yunho ( implied ot8 )

again another fic that is based off of mine but literally made it her own because topaz is just that talented. a "what-if" au for my alta series where mc is a water bender and with san and yunho. absolutely amazing and does so well with writing all the characters and their dynamics. a def read if you love atla!

sweet sorrow of evil ( master list ) ( rated : mature )

ateez x evil queen!f!reader ( members have different roles within the story )

this is a collab story between topaz and me and i couldn't make this post and NOT include this series that we are working on together. this really just shows what two authors can make when they come together. we co-wrote the prologue and are currently writing the first chapter. this world is our baby and i love and it has the both of us in a chokehold, i'm so proud of the world me and here built and i want everyone to see it.

and honestly, that's just the tip of the iceberg cause topaz has SO MANY more but these are just the ones that i always think about. like, i really suggest you all check out topaz's works. i have more of her fics on my fic rec blog (@comicsan) so if you want to see more of her and other fics that i have enjoyed then i would check that blog out.

please go show my bestie support, it would mean the world to me!

thank you 🩷