#ateex angst

[moonlightdreamzz]

chapter one chapter two

PAIRING ✰ Idol!Wooyoung x Black Female Reader.

SUMMARY ✰ Wooyoung knew what he was signing up for when he dreamed of being a kpop idol. The seemingIy unfair rules were never his favorite part, but he always followed them. What he didn’t know was that he was going to meet you, and all of a sudden the rules would no longer matter to him. You’re the only thing that makes Wooyoung feel alive, and yet, nobody wants the two of you to be together.

GENRE ✰ There is a little bit of everything in here, and you can expect every chapter to have a mixture of angst, fluff, and smut in it.

"Love is heavy and light, bright and dark, hot and cold, sick and healthy, asleep and awake- its everything except what it is!"

Wooyoung chuckles somberly, swiftly locking his phone. Why did he think attempting to read Romeo and Juliet would make him feel any better about his current situation? Romeo and Juliet were stupid, and they cared too much about what others had to say. The only thing he could relate to was their preference to die than be apart.

He presses the power button again, this time to see the image on his lock screen—a picture of him with the love of his life asleep on his chest. There is an instant burst of solace that runs through his entire body. It doesn’t stop at his toes, finger tips, or the top of his head. It begins the fill the entire room, which causes the hairs on Wooyoung’s arms to stand up.

“As you all know, going into effect when you sign this contract, you will not be permitted to date for the first 3 years of your career. Being caught breaking this aspect of your contract, along with everything else in this paperwork will result in a consequence, including possible termination from the group. After your 3 years expires, you must get your relationship approved by the company.”

Wooyoung had been replaying that exact moment in his mind every day for the past couple of weeks, always around the same time — 4:00PM. Ironically, around 4:00PM was also the time he snuck away from his members every day. He had the same routine; he would eat his lunch, and then complain of stomach pain. Of course no one stopped him from using the restroom, and when he was asked why he wasn’t using the restroom nearby he would always have the same answer.

My stomach really hurts. I can’t do what I’m about to do this close to you all, and it’s going to be awhile anyways.

Technically he wasn’t lying. His stomach did hurt, but not because he had to release toxins. The real reason was that the thought of seeing you made knots form in Wooyoung’s stomach, to the point where he could barely breathe or walk even though the two of you had been together for six months.

He truly couldn’t do what the two of you sometimes did tucked away in a room where no one would suspect you two to be. Anyone, for that matter.

The two of you always tried your best to be quiet, but when was true love ever hushed? He couldn't help but become intoxicated off the sound of your beautiful moans, the clapping that filled the room, and the echo of how wet he made you every time, particularly on days when he was particularly worried or had not seen you in far too long. Every room didn’t have a somewhere he could lay you down, but that never mattered. He had made love to you everywhere at this point. Couches, floors, walls, mid air. He knew it was wrong and disrespectful, but it was something about you that made him not care about anything…in a good way though.

It’s now 4:05PM, and Wooyoung can’t help but feel slightly concerned. Even if keeping track of time was not always your strong suit, you were always on time for him. He detested how insane you drove him, God. This emotion never left him, whether it was from him worrying about you or from him knowing you were secure since you were in his arms.

He’s about to shoot you a text when he sees you tip toeing into the room as if you were participating in a robbery. He realized that these days, he wasn’t truly smiling unless it was your doing.

“Baby.” You whisper, your hand hiding your words as if it wasn’t just the two of you in here.

“Yes.” He plays along, standing up as if the queen of the world was approaching him. I mean, if he was being honest that’s what you were in his mind. His arms open for you, and he wants to allow you five more seconds to finish your incredible acting, but he can’t. He practically skips to embrace you.

His arms are squeezing your waist, and yours are around his neck. The embrace puts your bodies in a tranquil state—the both of you exhaling in unison.

“I fucking missed you.” The words spill from his mouth because he had been holding them in all day long.

“I missed you too.” You whisper, yet the passion in your words are so strong. It’s in his scent that you feel at home. In his arms, nothing can hurt you. He always told you that you did the same for him, and you believed him. You believed every single word that came out of his mouth, embarrassing as it was.

“Shit, baby.” He chuckles in embarrassment, not letting you go, but backing the two of you up on the couch that he was sitting on previously. Your newly installed butterfly locs are ticking his arm, but it’s oddly comforting. He knows the tea tree oil from your scalp has likely left it’s mark on the side of his face, but he doesn’t care. “How has your day been? Are you okay? You were a little late.”

“I’m sorry.” You sigh, but there’s a smirk that’s failing to hide on your features. “I planned to be on time, but I got snatched up.”

“Snatched up? By who?” If you were about to tell him that another member tried to make a move on you, or anyone for that matter, he was going to lose it.

“Calm down mr. jealous.” You giggle, adjusting yourself in his lap. “It was just work stuff, I promise. How was your day?”

He doesn’t like how you were avoiding going into detail, but he wasn’t going to argue.

“Let's just say I've been counting down the milliseconds to get to this moment."

Knowing that doing so will draw your chest closer to his own, Wooyoung's fingertips started to trace little butterflies along your spine. He can easily get to you now, and he starts giving you enticing kisses on the neck. Woo knows your body better than anyone ever has. He'd be willing to bet every dollar he'd ever make on that.

Like the way he kisses you, which you adore. In a slow, passionate kiss that is still filled with such heat and passion, his lips move from your neck to your lips.

His hands are so adept at knowing exactly where they should be. He alternates between stroking your ass and softly caressing your back, forcing you to grind your heat over his covered but still provocative bulge.

The thing you cherished most about him in these moments was how effortlessly you two could make love to one another. Never once did anything seem uncomfortable. You were wearing a black crop top jacket, which Wooyoung skillfully unzipped to expose that you didn't have a bra on at all.

"You're a bad fucking girl, I tell you." His low, sensual growl causes him to swiftly cuff and spank your gorgeous breasts before squeezing them together and motorboating them.

For a time, the two of you continue to press against one other until he virtually feeds from your breasts, both of you relishing the sensation of how needy you are for one another. But he is aware that you require more. To win your favor, he will do everything.

In between kisses, he taunts, "You want my hands to be lower, don't you?" His hands begin to run down your stomach, but just as they're about to slip into your biker shorts that are more than ready to slide off, he repositions them on your neck. "Uh oh." He mutters with a mischievous grin.

"You wanna play, baby? Because you know this is a game you'll never win." You tounge begins at his adams apple and licks all the way to the top of his upper lip.

"You're so lucky I don't have more time with you." He remarks as he puts his hands inside your shorts, nearly bursting out from how wet you are. He desires a personal view. He desires to reach out his hands and marvel at how your moisture adheres to his fingers. But his main objective is to accelerate your cum than the previous time.

He gets to rubbing your clit like he always does, and you're grinding into his hand like you always do. Your moans are filling up the room the closer you get, and you are so wet that you know you're going to have to change your panties after this. It would be shameful to make it so obvious what you had been doing in this room.

It's to the point now where you don't even have to grind into his hand anymore. Your head is tilted back as Wooyoung's arm holds you afloat, while his other is making your mind spin from the pleasure you feel.

"Mhm, baby." Woo moans out for you, having trouble believing he's the one putting you into euphoria like this, but then again he always did. He was so in love with you that making you feel good was all he needed. It was as if your bodies were synched. The two of you are lost in each other, both so close to the high your bodies have been craving all day. So high, that neither of you can hear the numerous foot steps coming your way, all in search of your boyfriend who had been "in the bathroom" for way longer than he was supposed to be.

"Maybe he's like, going through something." San attempts to defend, although his tone is weak. He doesn't even believe his own words.

"Regardless, these fake ass bathroom trips everyday are getting ridiculous. I hope he's truly taking a shit," Hongjoong stomps around irritably opening and closing every door in the hallway once he sees no Wooyoung in sight.

"Fuck!"

San and Hongjoong halt in their tracks. They weren't familiar with the voice, but they were dead certain of the activity that a sound like that indicated.

"I beg you, please refrain from being Woo." San thinks to himself in a low voice, knowing that Hongjoong would probably kill him in cold blood if he were to carry out that act in this place. San's eyes would be poisoned forever as well.

"I'm going to-

"Wait!" San attempts to calm his leader down, holding him back from opening what felt like an extremely forbidden door.

"Don't wait me." He responds firmly. The most terrifying aspect of Hongjoong was that. To frighten any of them, he didn't need to yell or puff out his chest. Without it, they could see he meant business.

You had just reached your climax, fully prepared to pay Wooyoung back for how good he just made you feel. You begin to sink down to your knees with a firm grip on his sweatpants when the door swings open.

Wooyoung's heart sinks to his feet, but his first reaction is to defend you. He scoops you up and stands in front of you as quickly as the door opens, with shaking hands and strength he wasn't sure he possessed. He is aware that he has already been caught.

You'd think there'd be silence in a situation like this, but the way everyone's breath told its own tale was tremendously loud. You were at a loss for what to do. Should you extend your hand in solidarity to Woo? Or would that make matters worse? Could it possibly get any worse?

Wooyoung isn't sure how much time has passed, but it felt like days had Hongjoong been staring him down.

"Who are you?" Hongjoong finally speaks, his tone showing he misunderstood your position.

"I...I...I'm nobody." Is all you can muster, quickly pulling on your biker shorts and fleeing the room. Tears build up in your eyes, prompting you to run even faster. You don't know where you're going, but you know you never want to be seen again.

Wooyoung does not hesitate. He tries to flee the room behind you, but Hongjoong beats him to it, pushing him to the ground. Woo catches himself, but it doesn't spare him from the rugburn he got from slipping.

"How dumb are you, huh? You know the fucking rules, Wooyoung. And the fact that you tried to hide this from us? Like it would work?"

Woo is deafeningly quiet, not taking in any of his leader's comments. He can't stop thinking about you and where you are. You were so distracted when you were upset; colliding with objects, falling, and-

"Hello!" Hongjoong practically screams, which causes Woo and San to both flinch aggressively.

His next remarks were ones he'd live to regret for the rest of his life. But he had no choice but to protect you. He needed to preserve your relationship and couldn't have anyone interfering with it.

"It's exactly what she said it was...nothing." HHe sighs innocently. But on the inside, he experiences a heartbreak that seems like someone stomped on it and then crushed it to the ground.

"Then why did you try to chase after her?"

"Because the two of you just raided the room and saw her damn near naked? She was embarrassed and I'm not an asshole? Don't give me the lecture like you don't get your dick wet too."

"Not in the fucking building, I don't. We're not young boys anymore, Woo. And we're trying to get shit done while you're pretending your using the bathroom? To have sex with some random girl?"

"She's-

"She, as cute as she was, needs to go." San saves his member, who he knows is about to divulge what he already knows. That you were more than just a pretty face to him. He had realized the moment the two of you met that Woo had found someone who made him happy. He smiled more broadly. His voice has grown stronger. He seemed to be cheerful about everything. He just hoped his hopeless romantic best friend wouldn't get caught. Damn you, Woo.

There is nothing else to say from Wooyoung. He once more tries to leave the room by getting up off the floor, and Hongjoong this time lets him go. "Don't start looking for her," San mutters as he hurriedly follows Woo. Return to the studio."

Wooyoung knows he has no choice but to listen, this time.

[mirisss]

Atz reaction to their s/o being financially broken

Ateez x gn!college/university student! reader 

Thank you for the request! I’m sorry it took so long for me to write this but I hope you enjoy this! I wasn’t sure if you wanted this to a poly relationship or not so I wrote it as if the relationships are separate, so each ATZ member has their own s/o. 

Wordcount ≈ 1.2k

Warnings: Anxiety, overworking, exhaustion, financial problems, (Not that angsty though,)

Reactions under the cut

Seonghwa, Yeosang, Mingi, Yunho, Jongho

He had noticed that you didn’t seem to have a lot of time to hang out with him recently as you constantly had to study or work. At first, he didn’t think much of it, thinking it was just because of exam season that you were so stressed. But once this kept happening for over a month, he could barely reach you, you never answered his calls, or barely any of his texts, only answering “Sorry, busy studying, talk to you later”. He understood that something must be going on, his first thought would be if he had done anything wrong so one night, he went over to your apartment, knocked on the door but no one opened it, he assumed that you were at the restaurant/bar where you work so he went over there. Once at the door to the restaurant, he saw you running around inside, immediately noticing that you looked sick and feverish, you didn’t even notice him as he stood in front of you. One of your colleagues noticed him, quickly ushering him over. 

“You should really convince them to go home, they’ve been working double shifts for two weeks, and even trying to pick up more shifts every now and then,” He was shocked to find out just how much you had been working. He walked over to you, gently putting a hand on your shoulder, “Hey, love, can we talk?” You were surprised to see him but said yes and went to the back of the building, where he technically wasn’t allowed to be as a non-employee but you were with him so it was fine. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked as you finally sat down for the first time in probably 12 or 15 hours. “That´s what I want to ask you, your colleague just told me you’ve been working double shifts for 2 weeks straight, you look sick, you definitely have a fever, you’ve been distant for over a month, I just want to understand what’s going on,” He saw tears beginning to form in your eyes. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” “It’s obviously something, please, (Y/n), tell me what’s going on, I’m your boyfriend, you should be able to rely on me,” You sighed and then proceeded to tell him everything. 

“My landlord raised my rent a lot about a month ago and with my old schedule, I couldn’t afford the rent or the cost of uni and everything so I had to start working more to earn enough not to be evicted, but having to work for 20 hours each day doesn’t leave a lot of time to study or sleep so I’m falling behind on classes and I don’t know what to do because no matter what I think of, there’s no solution that actually works,” He just looked at you in shock. “Why haven’t you told me about this? I could help you, I have asked before to move in together, that would help a lot with the cost of living for you,” “I can’t just rely on you for this, it’s my problem,” “Hey, we’re in this together, besides, I earn enough to support us both for a while so that you can focus on studying. I love you, (Y/n), it pains me to see you so overworked, I want to help, so please rely on me,” You couldn’t say no anymore, fatigue, fever, and finally feeling like you could have some rest catching up with you so you just nodded, whispering, ‘yes please’, before falling asleep with your head on his shoulder. 

Hongjoong, Wooyoung, San

They would never let it come to the point of you being financially broken or exhausted mentally, nope, these two are just very attentive or their partner and would notice the second something seemed to be off with you. The first clue was when you canceled last minute on a date he had planned for over a week, to celebrate the anniversary of your first kiss together, he would take you to a fancy restaurant, something you usually enjoyed but this day you canceled on him the morning of the date just saying “I’m not feeling like doing something fancy”. He was shocked but nonetheless, he canceled the booking at the restaurant and asked if you should just order takeout and a movie night at his place, but you shot that down too with the excuse of exams coming up. 

The second, and final clue to something being wrong, was when he walked by the office where you work part-time, in the middle of the day, when you definitely had classes, but he found you at the office, looking more stressed than ever before. 

“Hey, love, what are you doing here? Don’t you have classes today?” “Oh Joong/Woo/Sannie, um, no, I, um, don’t” It was obvious that you were lying to him, and he wondered why, as it never happened before. “I know you’re lying, (Y/n), what’s actually going on?” You just sighed, looking down at the ground. “I’m too embarrassed to tell you,” “I won’t judge you, honey,” “I’m going to be evicted from my apartment, I took a pay cut about a week ago and with it, I can’t afford to pay rent, and my landlord isn’t one to be understanding of me being a student so they’ll kick you out the second even a penny is missing from the rent. So I’ve been taking on more shifts here, even trying to find another part-time job at a café or something, but with that, I can’t go to classes, so I’m falling behind, and I just want to die, because I’m failing everything, even our relationship,” You were crying and almost hyperventilating at this point. He pulled you into a tight hug, to try and comfort you. His heart was hurting, how hadn’t he noticed earlier that it was this bad? “Jagi, no, you’re not failing our relationship, come live with me? You wouldn’t have to pay rent that way,” “I can’t just let you pay for everything,” 

“Then how about this, you move in with me, you keep your part-time job here but you back to your regular schedule, you can pay a fourth of the rent for my apartment, that’s about equal looking at what we each earn, and that way you still have plenty of time for classes, and for me, your boyfriend,” “How can I say no to that?” “You can’t, I’m just that irresistible,” 

[mingtinys]

[ Prologue ]

pairing : jeong yunho x gn!reader

under the red sun (let's hold hands 'till the sun falls down)

previous part && masterlist && next part

warnings : language , mentions of suicidal thoughts 

word count : 0.9 k

a/n : this has been in my drafts for nearly a week and i just haven’t been able to convince myself it’s good enough to post . but i know people are waiting , so i promise part 1 will be a lot better !!

It doesn't get easier.

You wish it would, but it doesn't. You wish you could numb your mind and leave it on autopilot until the worse has passed — if it ever does. Until the dreaded game is over and you're either granted asylum for a handful of days or there's a hole burned through your skull. You wish you could sugarcoat the truth like you used to. Ease your heart. Soothe your soul. Tell yourself it'll be okay.

But it's not okay; and you've come to realize lying to yourself is a waste of time.

Everything fucking sucks.

The brightly lit arenas, the frantic newcomers, the predatory veterans. Those sadistic "games" that are probably no more than trivial entertainment for whoever created this hellscape. There's nothing easy or okay about this place and griping about it won't change that. This is how things are now.

It's a truth you wish you could've accepted sooner. Maybe then you wouldn't have wasted all eight days of your visa wallowing in self-pity. Holed up in some rundown motel that had already been stripped of any food or luxury items. It's a silly thing to think about now. But not even having, at the very least, a blanket, almost broke you that second night. Faster than any of the three games you'd had the misfortune of playing thus far had been able to.

It took about a day for the initial shock to wear off. And a few hours more for the events of the two of clubs game to fully make their way to the forefront of your brain and fester. But once they did? Well, not having that blanket was just about your last fucking straw. The cold that seeped its way into your skin that night was nothing compared to the realization that any trace of your old world was gone. For good. No more blankets, no more lazy Sunday mornings, no more calculus tests or history papers. No more normalcy or comfort. Just empty rooms with water-damaged ceilings and a guilt that clings to your skin like the air of a humid July night.

You've contemplated not even trying to find a next game and just riding out your visa until inevitable more than you're proud to admit. The lasers would find you eventually, you're not sure how, but they would. Just like they found anyone else fortunate enough to escape this world. You were alone now, so what did it even matter? Nothing and no one were keeping you here anymore, you'd certainly made sure of that. 

But the urge to survive has proven to be quite the pest. And, eventually, you learned to be alone. Even find comfort in it. At least you think you did.

You learned how to salvage the remnants of who you used to be and find use for them in who you are now. Learned to live as someone you barely recognize and convince yourself that's who you've always been until it became true.

You learned to cope with the constant, lingering, feeling of dread in your gut by locking every dark and sinister thought inside a little safe stowed away in the deepest part of your mind. To swallow your fears and ignore the regret clawing at your insides long enough to get through whatever nightmarish excuse of a game awaits you just beyond the starting line. It's one of the only useful things he ever taught you. One of the only things you allowed yourself to keep of him. For the sheer reason of desperate survival alone; because that’s all it’s worth.

You leave your humble motel room two days before your visa actually expires. No sense in prolonging the inevitable. The thought of it alone is enough to send your mind spiraling once again, so better to just get it over with.

You pick the first arena that flickers to life in your vicinity for no other reason than you simply don't feel like walking any further. There's not much rhyme or reason as to which games appear where anyways. Just the luck of the draw.

The lights guide you to an old elementary school. It's eerily empty, just a skeleton of its former glory. Sloppy finger paintings and crayon-drawn art peel from the walls. Some of the overgrown vegetation has already made its way inside. Obscuring the rainbow-colored walls and cartoonish academic posters. Your eyes drift to one about hallway etiquette. "Be respectful of your peers" it reads. Ironic, considering the circumstances. You can't remember the last time since you entered this world anyone has been respectful to one another. In fact, they’re usually anything but.

Despite how trashed the front lobby is, most definitely being one of the first places to fall victim to looters, there's still a child-like innocence that lingers in the atmosphere. It doesn't take much to envision the patter of little footsteps sprinting down the halls. Soft giggles during recess. Protests from tireless children over nap time. You swear you can still hear the buzzing of a bustling cafeteria at lunch-time. Or maybe you've just finally gone insane. You wouldn't be surprised if it's the latter.

The table of phones sits centered at a T-intersection. Where the hallway splits from the front offices to rows of doors you assume are classrooms. The phones sit undisturbed, a little note instructing you to take one.

You count fourteen, for fourteen players. Of which you're the first.

[mint-yooxgi]

{12} - Morning Mist - Yandere!Dragon!Ateex X Chubby!Reader

Yandere AU & Dragon AU

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst

Pairing: Ateez X Reader (Focus on Seonghwa)

Words: 10,355

Warnings: Threats, mentions of bones being reset, some blood and injuries. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: Finally, a chapter I have been waiting for to write!! lmaoo my apologies if the beginning is a little slow, but there’s some big reveals in this chapter that I really hope you’ll all enjoy. The next few chapters might have some more important truths in relevance to the plot, so I hope you all look forward to that! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

Also, gentle reminder that I do not do tag lists.

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven - Mini Masterlist

“You made her a Drygg Promise?” Seonghwa’s voice is full of disbelief as he stares at the younger dragon across from him.

“What Jongho chooses to do with her is completely up to him.” Hongjoong casually adds, turning the page of the book he’s currently reading. Though, none of them fail to miss how tense their leader seems, the sound of paper being harshly flipped through reaching their ears each time he so much as fingers the next page.

“You understand that if you ever go back on your word, a tattoo like mark will appear on your body branding you for all to see?” Yeosang meets the youngest’s gaze, arms crossed over his chest as a hint of worry bleeds into his tone.

Those that break a Drygg Promise are branded in dishonour, marking them as someone unfaithful and untrustworthy to others. It is one of the greatest shames that can befall a dragon, for the mark can never be removed, nor the magic ever be undone. Once a Drygg Promise is broken, it can never be made again.

“I know.” Jongho hums. “Which is why I never intend to break it.”

“Keeping a Drygg Promise is easier said than done.” Yunho states, sharing a brief look with the younger male across the room.

“Did she make one back?” There’s a hint of irritation to Wooyoung’s tone, his entire body stiff as he leans against the wall.

“No,” as soon as the word leaves Jongho’s lip, the male seemingly relaxes. “This one was purely just intended for me.”

“But she agreed to it?” Hongjoong glances at the youngest out of the corner of his eyes, watching the male carefully.

“She didn’t push me away.” Comes the younger’s response.

San pouts, shoulders slumping as he sits in his seat. He wanted to be the first one to make a Drygg Promise with you. It didn’t matter what it was, he just wanted to prove to you how loyal he could be. How faithful. Especially to you.

“You know as well as I do that once the connection is made, there’s no preventing that magic from taking hold.” Yunho sighs, meeting gazes with Hongjoong. “Whether she wanted him to be or not, he’s bound to it. At least from what he’s told us, it’s just him.”

“Why would you do something so stupid?” Mingi shakes his head in disproval, turning to look at Jongho in the next second. “Least of all for her?”

“If I recall correctly, you did some pretty stupid things when you were trying to impress that one she-wolf quite a few years back,” Yeosang hums, flicking his bangs out of his eyes.

Red begins to creep up Mingi’s neck, the male sputtering briefly. “Well, at least I didn’t imprint, or do something as stupid as make her a Drygg Promise!”

“You act like it’s the end of the world.” San grumbles, visibly becoming more upset the longer that this conversation drags on.

“I did what I felt was best at the time,” Jongho shrugs. “My love for her is none of your concern.”

“It is when you threaten our clan’s quest for the crown!” Seonghwa snaps, chest heaving with every breath he takes.

“Well, maybe I don’t want to find this stupid crown!” Jongho retorts, brow tugging downwards in a frown. “It’s made you completely power hungry and desperate to rule! Do you really think that you’d make a good leader when you can’t even swallow your pride for ten fucking seconds and admit your own faults?”

“Watch it, Jongho-“

It’s Mingi that gets cut off by the youngest next.

“And you!” He seethes, rounding on the flaming headed male. “Burning every fucking thing to the ground any chance you get? Tell me, again, how your anger isn’t controlling you.”

“Jongho.” Yunho stands, moving towards the younger dragon in attempts to deescalate the situation before it goes any further.

“None of us are fit to be rulers,” he continues. “Not when half of us can hardly make decisions on how we handle things or how we feel about them.”

Yeosang’s eyes narrow pointedly.

“Not when half of us can barely control our emotions.” Jongho’s eye flash at both Seonghwa and Mingi. “We don’t deserve it.”

“Jongho.” Hongjoong’s eyes flash, his book slamming closed. “That’s enough.”

“Don’t act like you haven’t been thinking about it, too.” The youngest huffs, a puff of smoke escaping his nostrils at how heated he’s become.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Hongjoong’s voice is low, ominous as he slowly stands to his feet. 

The scraping of the chair against the wooden floor fills the silence in the room, each male now much more tense than before. A weight has settled over all of them, looming over their heads like a thundercloud.

“I am tired of these fucking raids,” Jongho’s entire expression drops, shoulders slouching as he curls in on himself. “I am tried of having everyone fear us everywhere we go. Our clan name shouldn’t be a cause for terror, or despair. It should be one to be celebrated and supported. There is no honour in senseless violence or killing. I am tired of all this bloodshed. Aren’t you?”

A heavy silence fills the air, drowning them in the harshness of Jongho’s confession.

Seonghwa sees red.

“You’re starting to sound like that fucking huntress-“

Snarls echo around the room, yet none are as loud, or as surprising as Yeosang’s.

“Don’t call her that.” The male’s lips are pulled back over his teeth, fangs on full display.

“What’s the matter with you?” Seonghwa voices, incredulously. “Has she bewitched you, too?”

“Don’t you dare go there, Hwa.” Wooyoung takes a menacing step forward.

“Yeosang couldn’t trust her, and then he spends one fucking day with her and suddenly he’s smitten!” Seonghwa counters. “You can’t blame me for knowing that she’s put a spell on all of you at this point. The fact that she made you make her a Drygg Promise just confirms it. She’s obviously toying with your-“

“I made her that fucking Drygg Promise of my own free will, Seonghwa,” Jongho’s tone is but a growl on his lips as he cuts the elder off. “Perhaps it’s you who needs to reevaluate how you see her.”

“It’s not like we’re going to be able to change it now,” Mingi sighs, shaking his head lightly.

“Even you are acting fucking different towards her since the other day.” Seonghwa’s eyes narrow at the younger male with the flaming hair. “What’s gotten into you?”

“We aren’t as stubborn as you are, Hwa.” Yunho says, eyes flashing at the eldest. “We’ve actually taken the time to get to know her, and realize that she’s not a bad person. We can learn a lot from her. Just look at how far San and Wooyoung have come with their medicinal training in a month!”

“I’m surprised she hasn’t poisoned you, yet.” Seonghwa grumbles, diverting his gaze to the floor for a brief moment.

San, Jongho, and Wooyoung all go to lunge at the eldest. Even Yeosang and Yunho twitch slightly in their spots, but again, it’s Hongjoong that acts first.

Slamming the eldest against the wall, Hongjoong pins him with an arm across the  elder male’s chest. The younger’s eyes are a deep gold, flashing dangerously beneath the moonlight as Seonghwa’s own widen in response.

“I will not have you speaking ill of the woman that has not only saved your life, but the lives of your brothers more times than I can count. She has been kind enough to extend her knowledge to us after the multiple stunts you’ve pulled against her and her clan.” Hongjoong seethes, lips pulled back in a snarl as his fangs begin to elongate. “You bring more shame to yourself every fucking day, Seonghwa, that you do not admit your own shortcomings, and apologize for your mistakes. Jongho’s right, you would make a terrible ruler. We all would.”

Seonghwa can feel his heart pounding inside his chest, the familiar bitter taste of tears beginning to form behind his eyes. He blinks them back, but from the way Hongjoong presses him harder into the wall, the elder can tell that the younger is nowhere near finished with him yet.

“Until you can fucking get your head out of your ass, you are banished from this household until further notice.” Hongjoong commands, and he can feel the way Seonghwa’s breath hitches in his throat based on the way his chest freezes beneath his arm. “Do not come back until you have both learned the error of your ways, and have apologized to the woman we owe our lives to.”

In the next moment, Hongjoong shoves himself off of the elder male, backing away from him slowly. None of the others dare to say anything as Seonghwa spares one final glance around at all of them, worried about incurring the wrath of their leader after such a tense exchange.

“Fine,” Seonghwa huffs, straightening out his shirt. “If this is how all of you are going to act, I don’t want to be here, anyways.”

Without another word, or waiting for an answer, Seonghwa storms out of the house. The crisp night air greets him, and he’s immediately shifting, taking off into the night sky without a single glance back.

The six remaining males turn to look at a heaving Hongjoong. 

Yunho, San, and Jongho all blink in shock.

“You really chose that witch over your own brother?” Mingi looks appalled, lips parted in disbelief at his leader.

“Watch it, Min.” Hongjoong’s eyes flash as he turns towards the taller male. “Do you want to get banned, too?”

“Not particularly,” he shakes his head sightly, hands raised in his own defence.

“Good.” Hongjoong nods once. “Because despite what it looks like, I’d really rather not have this clan fall apart.”

“We have noticed a slight change in you, Min.” Yunho observes. “Ever since you talked with her that one day.”

“You’re less…” San searches for the proper word, “hotheaded at times.”

Yeosang says nothing, observing the scene before him with his arms crossed over his chest. Casually, he leans back against the wall, making brief eye contact with the taller male. He quirks a brow.

“She just gave me something to think about, is all.” Mingi clears his throat, a faint blush beginning to creep up his neck.

“You? Thinking?” Wooyoung voices, eyes wide in amazement. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

Threateningly, Mingi takes a small step in the shorter male’s direction.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” Wooyoung laughs, putting his hands in front of himself for protection. “It’s just nice to have a conversation without it all bursting into flames.”

This time, Mingi doesn’t stop himself from lunging at the younger male. In a flash, he has Wooyoung in a headlock, the younger thrashing in his arms in attempts to escape.

A long sigh is escaping Hongjoong’s lips in the next second, noticing how Jongho has seemingly slipped out of the front door in all of the commotion.

“Where’d our youngest go?” San frowns, looking around the room.

“Probably to clear his head,” Yunho responds, pulling Wooyoung out of Mingi’s grasp.

The younger male immediately starts praising Yunho, all the while sticking his tongue out at Mingi who is being held back by the taller male.

“I’ve never seen Jongho act like this,” Yeosang’s gaze is locked on the wooden floor, a frown tugging at his features.

“He’s never really been huge on the whole quest for the crown.” Hongjoong shrugs, leaning back against the side of the table. “You all know this.”

“He’s always been silent about this kind of stuff, though.” San’s brow furrows, arms crossing over his chest.

“You know as well as I do that he can get very impatient at times.” Hongjoong replies, staring out of the window as if he can see that familiar golden dragon flying in the distance. “This whole imprinting thing is probably weighing on him in its own ways. He did think she was human.”

“We all did.” Yunho hums knowingly.

“I don’t think he cares about waiting for her in terms of the imprint,” Yeosang adds. “I just think he’s feeling inadequate for her in general.”

“I think you’re right,” Hongjoong sighs once more, turning his attention back to the males standing around the room before him. “It’s frustrating when you want to learn all there is about a person, but they keep you at arms length.”

“Speaking from experience, Leader?” Mingi quirks a brow.

“I’m just saying I can understand how Jongho feels.” Hongjoong responds, tilting his head in Mingi’s direction.

“I think we all can.” San mumbles, rubbing a hand over the side of his face.

A look is shared between Yunho, Hongjoong, San, and Wooyoung. Even Yeosang spares a quick glance upwards in response.

“Trust isn’t something that’s given,” Mingi comments, already heading down the hallway and to his room for the evening. “It’s earned.”

The sound of his door swinging shut echoes through the silence that has befallen the room. Five males can only stand there in shock, sparing glances at one another at the words that have just been uttered by their hotheaded brother.

Did he just agree with something you have always believed?

Blinking, Hongjoong clears his thoughts enough to face the remaining four males before him. “Remember, don’t let Seonghwa back in unless he has fulfilled his requirements. No matter what.”

Firm nods of agreement greet Hongjoong in response, the other males dispersing to their rooms for the evening shortly after that. Hongjoong, on the other hand, steps outside, the fresh air helping to cool his heated skin and clear his head even further.

Wordlessly, he shifts into his true form, stretching his wings out before leaping into the night sky. It wouldn’t hurt to take a quick flight around the area, and maybe even check in on you this evening.

After all, he’s just doing what he should be as his clan’s leader, and making sure Seonghwa hasn’t done anything to harm you in retaliation to his decision. No other reason…

You, on the other hand, had finally been able to finish that book you had been meaning to all those long weeks ago. Your eyes are strained, and exhaustion seeps into every pore of your body as you blow out the oil lamp resting beside you.

Just as you begin to crawl into bed, you sense a familiar presence flying closer and closer to your cabin. You’ve long since sensed the other circling over the area for at least ten minutes or so, so when you feel the other, you believed it’s simply Hongjoong coming to collect their youngest for the evening.

Unbeknownst to you, as you succumb to the darkness of your own consciousness, both dragons opt to steer clear of one another. Not once do they cross paths, purposely avoiding the other as they pass protectively over your territory.

Little do any of you realize that they stay for the entire night.

The very next day, Yunho visits you with Yeosang by his side. 

To say that you’re surprised would be an understatement, considering you would have expected either Jongho or Hongjoong to have brought you the news of Seonghwa’s temporary banishment. Either way, you’re grateful for the information, inviting them in for lunch all the same. A fact of which they both gladly accept, Yeosang attempting to not look too eager as this will be the first time he’ll get to properly eat your cooking firsthand.

They stay for a few hours, offering you help around your house to do some small chores in thanks for the meal. You accept, and in no time at all, have completed your small list of things to do for the day.

Some time in the afternoon, you hear both Chenle and Renjun enter your house. You could sense their presences getting closer, and you noticed that Yunho’s head lifts ever so slightly when they get about thirty feet from your door.

A subtle smile had pulled at your features at that, happy to know that your training with San and Wooyoung has been beneficial not just for them, but their brothers, too. You may not have agreed to train any of the other Halas, yet, but that doesn’t mean they cannot train each other.

Needless to say, once both Renjun and Chenle entered your house to see those two specific Hala dragons sitting in your living room with you, all sharing glasses of iced mint tea, they were shocked. Chenle immediately ran over and jumped into your lap, smothering you in his affection and noticing how the smaller Hala of the two attempted to hide his irritation. At least he did better at hiding his annoyance than Yunho.

Some time later, all four of them opted to leave you for the evening. The Halas told you that they didn’t want to overstay their welcome, to which you replied that they were welcome anytime.

Both Yunho and Yeosang had blushed at that, small smiles tugging at their features as they bid you a final farewell and took off into the sky. Of course, Renjun and Chenle shared a look between one another as this occurred, a knowing gleam shining within the elder’s eyes.

The two Neos left shortly after that, Chenle reluctant to head home as always. He promised to come see you again soon, to which you simply chuckled at, and sent them both on their merry way.

Days pass, and both San and Wooyoung happily continue their training with you. More often that not, they are accompanied by one or more of their brothers, if they don’t come to visit you themselves on their own time. It’s nice having the company, and they get along great with your Neos, so you’re no longer worried about any conflicts arising. Hell, even Mingi has been starting to join his brothers at times, a fact which surprises both you, and them, more often than not.

For over a week, none of them have seen sight, nor heard any sound of Seonghwa. You track him the odd time, just to ease the worry in Hongjoong’s mind, apparent in the way the male’s hands twitch in his own hold, and his brow creases occasionally. 

How you manage to be able to find the eldest so quickly, over such a vast territory still amazes him. Hongjoong has half the mind to ask you to teach him how you do it, but he doesn’t want to overstep. Though, you seem to catch on pretty quickly.

“I’ll send a message when I’m ready to teach you,” you smile, and it’s as if that single expression lights up the entire room. Then, you’re turning towards Yeosang and Yunho. “Do you two still wish to accompany me to Rose Village soon?”

Out of the corner of your eyes, you notice Jongho stiffen.

“If you’ll have us,” Yeosang replies, a slight nod to his head.

“Again, I’ll send word when I’m ready.” You meet his gaze, shifting to look at Yunho in the next second. “I don’t know how you convinced Taeyong, but if he’s okay with skipping his favourite supply run of the month, then I have no issues with you two joining me.”

“If it’s his supply run, why do you have to go?” Jongho grumbles, arms crossed over his chest.

“I usually only join him on this run twice a year.” You say, turning to face the pouting male leaning against the side wall. “There’s a specific harvest festival that happens during both the spring and autumn seasons. I usually just gather the rarer herbs that the merchants bring in. Taeyong enjoys going for the flowers.”

“Don’t tell him you said that,” Renjun pops his head out your backdoor, wiping his hands on a cloth. “It’ll ruin his reputation.”

“Oh, my bad,” you playfully roll your eyes. “Big scary Neo leader likes flowers, big shocker there.”

“Wait, so it’s not Jungwoo that made the giant garden in their front yard?” San’s brows furrow, head tilting curiously in your direction.

“Oh, Jungwoo makes sure to maintain it,” you grin. “Along with dear Junnie here.”

At the way you move over to affectionately wrap your arm around the male’s shoulders, shaking him slightly, Renjun sends you a glare.

“My Neos are softer than you think,” you chuckle.

“We could still level a mountain if we wanted to,” Renjun grumbles.

“I know,” you hum, smiling fondly. “I would be upset if you couldn’t. Considering I taught you how to.”

“You can level a mountain?” Nothing but awe paints San’s features, the other Halas looking no different despite those that attempt to hide it.

“I can do many things, Sannie Boy,” you smile, though it becomes a little more unnerving the longer they all stare at you. “You just haven’t asked.”

The Halas all share a brief look between one another. None can deny the way hope begins to flood their veins, hearts beating erratically within their chests. Are you implying what they think you are? Are you, perhaps, beginning to trust them?

“Taeyong knows how to balance himself well,” you comment, shooting a brief glance at Mingi out of the corner of your eyes before turning to stare directly at Yeosang. “Wind can be harsh, and destructive, but it can also be calm, and refreshing. To every disaster, there is always hope.”

Yeosang nods, an understanding crossing his features as the others turn to look his way.

“Every power is like that,” you add, dropping your arm from around Renjun’s shoulder, much to the male’s content. “There’s good and bad in everything. What matters is how you wield it.”

“Oh, don’t start that lecture again,” Renjun rolls his eyes playfully at you, poking your arm lightly. “You have things to do.”

You shoot him a look before huffing out a laugh, “I suppose you’re right.”

“We better get going, anyways,” Hongjoong says, motioning for the rest of his clan to move with a jerk of his chin.

“We can stay and help,” Wooyoung offers, an eager gleam shining within his eyes.

You smile, “not this time.”

The way both he, San, and Jongho all visibly deflate at your response has you shaking your head, almost affectionately, at them.

“I’ll see you all again, soon enough,” you promise, waving them off. “Be safe. All of you.”

This is the first time Mingi has heard you wish them well while leaving, and he cannot deny the way his heart falters for the briefest of moments. A warmth unlike anything he’s ever felt before floods his veins, beginning from within his chest and spreading outwards. A feeling which he wants to feel more of, and soon.

Taking off into the sky, each Hala can still feel your gaze locked on them, tails flicking happily in the breeze. For the first time in a long time, they circle around one another, teasingly brushing each other with their wings, or rolling over their backs mid-flight. It makes them feel like their old selves again, a joy washing over them that they haven’t felt in a long time.

Finally, they can relax a little. Be more carefree. The weight of searching for the crown is no longer pressing against each of their shoulders, and it’s all thanks to you.

***

The tenth night after Seonghwa’s banishment from their nest, you hear a knock at your door. It’s faint enough that you almost miss it, as if whoever it is simply brushed their knuckles against the wood. However, from the presence you sense just on the other side, you know it simply isn’t just the wind.

With your guard high, and lights illuminating the kitchen, you open the backdoor.

The sight that greets you is one you honestly never would have expected, blinking mildly in shock.

There, looking even worse than the night you caught him with your dagger, stands the eldest Hala dragon. Scars litter what little exposed skin you can see of him, dirt and blood smeared against every free inch of his clothes. He holds his wrist in his one hand - the same one you broke all those weeks ago - rubbing it tenderly with his fingers. A gentle click can be heard each time he does so, the bones shifting uncomfortably beneath his skin.

His eyes are bloodshot as he meets your own, tears lining the corners and threatening to fall at any second. He keeps his lower lip caught between his teeth, grimacing as he meets your gaze.

Your nose crinkles from the stench radiating off of him, and you hear him sniffle.

You quirk a brow.

“I didn’t know where else to go,” his voice comes out small, strained from what little use he’s made of it over the past ten days.

The eldest avoids your gaze, suddenly finding the wooden flooring beneath your feet the most interesting thing he’s ever seen in his life.

“So, you decided to show up on your enemy’s back porch?” You hum, leaning against the frame of your open door.

“You are not my enemy.”

To say his words shock you would be an understatement, unable to hide the surprise from pulling at your features.

“Why did you simply not just go home?” Your tone is softer than a moment ago, and he finally lifts his gaze to meet your own.

The first of his tears begin to slip down his face. “I can’t go home.”

“Oh?” You tilt your head slightly in inquiry. “And why is that?”

He purses his lips as best he can, but he cannot prevent the way that his chin trembles.

The next moment, he straightens himself, as if in attempts to control his emotions. “Forget it.”

The way you can just tell that he’s attempting to hold on to the last shreds of his pride as he goes to turn away from you has a low sigh escaping your lips.

“Asking for help does not make you weak, Hala.” You state, noticing how he freezes in his spot at your words.

“Seonghwa.” His voice is gruff as he spares a glance at you from over his shoulder. “My name is Seonghwa.”

“And I shall refer to you as Hala until I deem it time for you to hear your name being graced by my lips.” You reply, arms crossed over your chest. “Do not forget you went after my back not once, but twice after I spared your life both times. Not only that, but you continue to insult me, and threaten me after everything I have done for both you and your clan. I have every right to watch you die right here on my back porch this very second, and revel in every moment of it.”

You do not fail to miss the way he flinches at your words, guard raising as his lips pull back in a snarl.

“This was a waste of time,” he manages to get out through gritted teeth, turning away from you once more.

“You need to work on your perception, Boy,” you state. “I never said I wouldn’t help you.”

Yet again, your words have him freezing in his tracks.

“I owe that much to those brothers of yours.” You hum. “Perhaps one more so than the others.”

“Jongho,” he whispers, turning back around to face you, approaching you cautiously all the while.

“Yes, you have your youngest to thank for this,” you nod softly, relaxing your tense shoulders the slightest bit. “He continues to surprise me every day.”

“Then you’ve-“

“No.” Your reply is somewhat firm, a gentle shake to your head. “I have not. But, like I said, he continues to surprise me.”

Seonghwa says nothing as he steps right up before the threshold of your door, that invisible barrier still keeping him out for now.

“Do you have any life threatening injuries that I cannot immediately see.” You ask him, eyes quickly trailing over the front of his torso.

You do not fail to miss the way that he seemingly shivers beneath your gaze.

“I don’t think so.” He mumbles, shifting slightly from foot to foot. Again, he rubs his wrist, the bones clicking together unnaturally.

“Alright, then you need to bathe before I treat you.” You reply bluntly.

“Excuse me?” He blinks, clearly taken aback by your command.

“Well, other than the fact that you reek for the moment, the cleaner you are, the easier it will be to treat your wounds.” You explain, a knowing look to your eyes. “Wounds that I’m surprised haven’t started healing by themselves, yet.”

“Where the fuck do you suggest I do that?” He counters, irritated frown pulling at his features.

“If you learned some patience, Young One, you would have already been told the answer by now.” Your gaze sharpens, shoulders tenser than a moment ago.

His lips purse once more, jaw twitching slightly in response.

“I will allow you to bathe inside, but the second I sense any hostility from you, I will not hesitate to reestablish my barrier.” A firm look is sent his way. “Believe me when I say: you do not want to know what it feels like to have your lungs crushed from the inside out.”

Visibly, the eldest Hala swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing from the movement.

“Do you understand?” Your eyes flash, an undertone of a threat to your words.

A brief pause.

“I understand.”

“Good,” you nod once before backing away from him slowly. “You may follow me.”

Hesitantly, Seonghwa takes a step towards your house. Slowly, he raises his one hand, testing the entranceway for that barrier to see if he’ll run face first into that invisible wall. When he feels none, a mild look of surprise crosses his features, but it’s gone just as quickly as it appears. Wordlessly, he enters your house.

The whole time you lead him to your bathroom, you keep your front facing him. Your eyes are sharp, guiding him through the house without even so much as a glance behind you to check where you’re going. Even when you reach the bathroom, you keep your gaze fixed on him while you begin to set everything up.

To say Seonghwa is a little unnerved would be an understatement. He would have thought you’d need to check your surroundings at least once on the trek to your bathroom. However, the way you watch him like a hawk doesn’t necessarily surprise him. He knows he deserves it. Hell, if he were you, he’d be doing the exact same thing.

“The towel is on the rack.” You comment, moving around him once he fully steps into the room. “Unfortunately, I cannot wash your clothes in such a short amount of time, but I’ll lay out some fresh ones on the bed for when you’re done. Don’t worry, they’re not mine.”

“They belong to your cubs, or something?” His voice is low, eyes darting almost longingly to the tub with faint steam rising from it.

“Or something,” you breathe. “I’ll be in the kitchen once you’re done. You decide whether or not you want to keep your shirt on while I treat your wounds.”

Without another word, you’re closing the door quite harshly in his face.

Letting out a low sigh, Seonghwa runs a his fingers through his hair. His whole body aches, and it’s a pain to even so much as strip himself of his tarnished clothes, but he does. 

What’s even more surprising to him is how you actually agreed to help him. Sure, your guard is still high, and it’s clear you don’t trust him, but you still allowed him into your home. You still drew him a bath, and are going to treat his wounds.

Perhaps he should follow his instincts more often. Maybe, just maybe, Jongho and his other brothers are right. For once in his life, Seonghwa should swallow his pride. He may just likes what becomes of it.

Sliding into the water, the male nearly lets out a low groan at the way the warmth immediately begins to loosen his tense muscles. The faint scent of lavender and lilac fills the room, and he finds himself relaxing more into the tub the longer he lingers.

A little while later, and after Seonghwa has finished cleaning himself up, he steps out of the tub. Some of his smaller cuts have seemingly healed in the time he took to bathe, his muscles feeling looser and more relaxed.

Sure enough, once he steps out of the bathroom, nothing but a towel around his waist, he sees a small pile of clothes left on the end of your bed for him. They’re clean, but he cannot help but notice the undeniable scent of a male faintly clinging to the material.

For some reason, it bothers him.

Yet, you sure are extending a tremendous amount of trust in him right now. Maybe, you’re simply testing him. Seeing what he will do if left alone in your room without you watching over him at every turn. He could tear your entire house apart right now if he wanted to, but he doubts you would let him so much as scratch your walls. Either way, he’s still cautious. He doesn’t trust you fully yet, either.

Stepping back into the kitchen, he sees you already leaning against the side counter with your arms crossed. Jars and bowls of ointment and herbs rest on the counter before you, oil lamps spread throughout the room and illuminating the space brightly.

“Better?” You meet his gaze, not even fazed that he left the shirt you gave him undone for the moment.

A curt nod is all that greets you in response, his hand once more coming up to rub at that one wrist of his. Again, a small clicking can be heard emanating from the bones each time he rolls it.

You click your tongue. “You really don’t know how to survive in the wilderness on your own, do you?”

“Of course I do!” Immediately, he goes to defend himself, scowl taking over his features. “I just-“

You raise a hand in the air, halting his protests dead in their tracks. “You fell into a bush of wild rat thorns while chasing something, didn’t you?”

At the way he remains silent, you have your answer.

You sigh. “Are you aware of what wild rat thorns are?”

“They’re thorns, aren’t they?” He replies smartly, his features twisted into a frown.

You snort out a laugh. “You’re technically not wrong.”

“If my wrist didn’t give out on me, I wouldn’t be in this mess right now,” he snaps, eyes flashing dangerously as he meets your gaze. “It’s your fault I’m hurt.”

“Not my problem you let it heal incorrectly.” You hum, pushing yourself off of your counter in order to step towards your supplies all laid out before you. “Also, not my fault, when I was simply defending myself against your disgraceful attack.”

“I should have just killed you when I had the chance,” his scowl deepens, fangs glinting in the light of the lamps.

You sigh, shaking your head. “Do you not ever tire of the front you put up, Hala? Does it not weigh on you every day?”

The way his breath hitches is slight, but you do not fail to miss the way he freezes momentarily in his spot.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” His voice is low, deadly.

“Don’t I?” You quirk a brow, leaning forward to rest your one palm flat on the counter before you. “You’re the type to carry the weight of the entire world on your shoulders. Every little thing that goes wrong, you blame yourself for, lashing out at anything or anyone when they try and get close. You wish to become stronger so those same mistakes never happen again, and when they do, it consumes you. You always feel as if you have something to prove, too. ‘Best them before they can best you’, am I right?”

“What do you know about it?” He hisses, his eyes glazing over as a fresh set of tears begin to prick his vision.

“You and I are more alike than you realize,” you meet his gaze. “I was exactly as you are, once. I see my former self every time I look at you, back when I almost completely lost myself.”

Seonghwa’s expression is stern, whole body tense as he stands across from you. His hands are balled into fists at his side, and they begin to shake in a barely controlled rage. His eyes flash gold.

“You know nothing.” He spits, tone but a harsh growl on his lips.

“I know more than you do, Boy,” your own eyes flash in warning, mixing some herbs together in a bowl. “I know how toxic your behaviour can be, especially to those around you. There is only so much that another can put up with, if you do not choose to change, even if they care about you deeply.”

“You don’t know me.” His voice is low, body angled towards you as if he’s ready to strike at a moment’s notice.

“No, I do not,” you agree. “And you do not know me. But, as I have said, I have been where you are, and believe me when I say that you do not want to slip any further down that cliff. There is almost no coming back from it.”

Seonghwa smartly remains quiet, but there’s no hiding the disgust that pulls at his features.

“Now, would you still like me to treat your woulds, or are you going to throw another tantrum and storm out?” You quirk a brow, raising the one mortar in your hand and shaking it slightly.

Seonghwa takes a moment to think over his answer before wordlessly sitting himself down on the stool at the edge of your counter. His decision seems to please you, for the corner of your lips are quirking upwards as you nod once in his direction.

“When was the last time you properly ate something?” You ask, grabbing a separate bowl off of the side counter as you approach him.

The way his stomach growls is answer enough.

“That’s what I thought.” You chuckle, sliding the bowl full of berries over to him. “Eat that, and then drink this.”

Pouring the mixture of herbs into a steaming cup of water, you begin to swirl the contents with a wooden spoon.

Warily, Seonghwa eyes the fruit before him. He can feel his stomach twisting in hunger, but he’s cautious. Who knows what you could have added to these berries while he wasn’t in the room.

“I didn’t poison them, if that’s what you’re worried about.” You roll your eyes, taking a step forward to pluck a berry from the bowl and pop it into your mouth. You make a big show of swallowing the fruit before meeting his gaze. “See.”

Still, he doesn’t move.

“Look, you need to have something in your stomach for the tea to properly work.” You sigh, rubbing at the bridge of your nose with you one hand. “I can see that the herbs in the bath helped your minor wounds, but if you’ve been practically starved these past ten days, drinking this on an empty stomach won’t be beneficial to your health.”

A moment of silence passes between the both of you as you continue to stare at one another. That is, until the sound of his stomach growling quite loudly cuts through the tension.

You chuckle, a knowing look sparkling in your eyes as he grumbles to himself. He pulls the bowl of berries in closer. Slowly, reluctantly, he begins to eat the berries, eyeing you cautiously all the while.

Exhaling an amused huff, you place the tea beside him. “Good Boy.”

It’s faint, but Seonghwa hates the way his back straightens the slightest bit at your words.

“How do you know all of this?” He asks after a few minutes of stillness.

“I believe I have mentioned before that my father has trained me vigorously since I was small.” You reply. “Then again, I’m surprised your brothers haven’t shared all that they can about me in their little story times.”

“I wouldn’t know,” he mumbles, finally take a small sip of the tea you’ve brewed him. 

The flavour isn’t anything special, but the more he drinks, the more strength he feels returning to his body. A warmth begins to spread outwards, radiating from the centre of his chest, heart beating firmer within. His wrist doesn’t hurt as badly, either.

“Ah,” you nod lightly in understanding. “I see.”

“The never shut up about you,” he says after a minute, staring into that now empty bowl.

“Do you still believe I have deceived them all with some spell?” Your voice is even, a hint of amusement bleeding through.

He takes a moment to think about it, hiding the lower half of his face behind the cup as he hums, “undecided.”

You laugh. For the first time in front of the eldest, you laugh.

To say the sound catches Seonghwa off guard would be an understatement, but it’s welcome, nonetheless.

“I may be strong, Hala, but deception is not something I have ever been good at.” You respond, grabbing a jar from your supplies on the counter and opening the lid. “At least, not bewitchments.”

At the familiar faint smell of lavender that fills the room when you open that jar, Seonghwa immediately know what type of ointment resides inside.

“Yes, you should be familiar with this paste,” you smile lightheartedly, watching as the tips of his ears dust a light red. “Yeosang informed me that you had run out of the last jar you stole.”

“Of course he did,” the eldest sighs, his one nail scratching lightly over a pattern on top of your wooden counter.

“Then, you know how to apply it,” you push the jar towards him.

“I thought you were supposed to be treating me?” He shoots you a brief look out of the corner of his eyes.

“I’m sure you don’t want me getting up close and personal with you any time soon,” you tilt your head knowingly. “You are more than capable of applying the treatment to the affected areas. Though, it won’t heal your wrist.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my wrist.” He counters, holding it to his chest protectively as his eyes narrow.

“Right.” You shake your head in disbelief. “And it doesn’t click every time you twist it.”

For the nth time this night, he purses his lips, but says nothing.

“It didn’t set, nor heal properly.” You continue.

“No thanks to you.” He spits, frown suddenly tugging onto his features.

“Would you like me to fix it for you?” You inquire, leaning once more against the side counter. “I can’t promise that it’ll be painless, but at least you won’t have any permanent damage this way.”

Seonghwa gently places his hand back onto the top of your counter, staring intently at his wrist.

“Why would you offer to help me? I’ve done nothing but disgrace you since we’ve met.” Seonghwa’s voice is low, words but a whisper on his lips.

“I am not unreasonable, Hala,” you reply, tone soft as if you’re coaxing a child out from hiding in the closet. “Like I said, you and I are more alike than you realize. Sometimes all it takes is one moment of kindness to show you a new perspective on life. Besides, I owe your brother.”

“I don’t understand you,” he shakes his head, lifting his gaze to meet yours in the next second. “You hold yourself like an ancient, yet you aren’t one. Why?”

“Does that bother you?” The corner of your lips tug upwards as you move to pull up another stool across from him.

“Not going to lie,” he rests both his palms flat on the table. “It pisses me off.”

“Because you hate the ancients?” You ask casually, dragging over a small bowl filled with a herbal liquid to rest before you. A cloth rests over the side, to which you begin to drag through the mixture, squeezing out the excess shortly afterwards.

“How do you know if I hate the ancients or not?” His tone is guarded, but he doesn’t look away.

“I told you, we are more alike than you think,” you sigh, wringing out the final drops of that mixture from the cloth. “Give me your wrist.”

Extending your left hand out, you hold it with the palm facing upwards to him.

Briefly, his eyes dart from your face to your hand, a hint of hesitancy to his movements. Still, he reaches out his injured wrist, placing his hand in yours gently.

Your touch is soft as you tenderly wrap the cloth around his wrist. In fact, it’s much more tender than anything the eldest could have ever expected.

A shiver caresses his spine.

“This will hurt,” you repeat your words from earlier as you meet his gaze. “Do you need to bite down on something, or will you be okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” his reply is gruff, already preparing himself for what is about to come.

“Brace yourself,” you warn. “I promise to make this quick.”

“Will you hurry up already- fuck!” 

A loud crack echoes around the room as tears spring to the eldest eyes. The fingers of his other hand dig harshly into the wood of your counter, and he’s surprised he doesn’t smash the wood with how hard he’s gripping onto it. His bottom lip is pulled between his teeth, puncturing the skin lightly. Enough so, that he can taste the faintest bit of blood on his tongue.

Softly, you coo at him, brushing your thumbs overtop of the cloth as you set his bones properly. 

Seonghwa takes this time to observe you carefully. Your face holds no malice in your expression, a softness to your features as you caress his wrist. There is an air about you that demands attention and respect, but he thinks it’s not even conscious on your part. An air of which he’s drawn to, inexplicably.

His gaze shifts back to your hands, still cradling his one wrist so tenderly. His eyes lock on faint scars lining your skin, raised in uneven bumps along the surface. Though, with the way they follow a circlet type pattern around your wrists, a sort of understanding washes over him. Scars of which he or his brothers have never noticed before, until he got this close.

As soon as you’re done, it’s like a wave of calm settles over him. His chest still heaves, but he finds the pain in his wrist ebbing away with each breath he takes. The bones in his wrist are healing unnaturally fast, and he realizes with one glance into your golden eyes, that this is your doing.

“You’re a healing dragon.” He states, a sense of awed bitterness radiating off of him.

“Not quite,” you sigh, finally releasing the hold you have on his wrist and taking the cloth with you.

“The hell do you mean, ‘not quite’,” his lips curl, that familiar anger flashing within his eyes.

“My existence is a myth in itself, Boy,” your eyes narrow as you push yourself up from your spot, moving to dump the excess liquid into the sink.

“What do you mean?” His brow furrows as he leans back slightly in his seat, observing you carefully. “Is that why there are scars of iron burnt around your wrist?”

A warning growl echoes around the room. “Be careful, Boy. You are asking questions way beyond your league.”

Seonghwa takes a moment as he looks down at his own hands which he has pulled into his lap. His wrist no longer hurts. Instead, a dull warmth has settled in his bones beneath his skin. He flexes his hand. “I’m sorry.”

You drop the bowl into the sink.

A brief silence settles over the both of you, only breaking once Seonghwa clears his throat.

“Thank you for healing my wrist.” He stands, and you can only blink at him in shock as he bows to you. “I apologize for all that I have done to hurt you. I can never take back my words or actions, but I realize now that I have misjudged you. Thank you for taking care of me when I don’t deserve it.”

A few more seconds pass by with him bowed lowly to you before he’s straightening himself. A moment later, and he’s heading towards your backdoor.

“Where do you think you’re going?” The corner of your lips quirk as you lean against the side of the counter.

“I fear I’ve overstayed and overstepped.” He replies.

“You’re suddenly a lot calmer than you just were a few minutes ago.” You comment. “What changed?”

Briefly, his gaze darts down to your wrists, and you sigh.

“So, seeing the scars my old iron shackles gave me was the deciding factor?” You voice, and you watch as he’s shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot.

Again, he remains silent.

“You certainly are a strange one, Hala,” you shake your head before motioning back to the stool he had previously been occupying with your chin. “Sit. We have much to discuss.”

Slowly, he creeps back over to his seat, sitting himself stiffly on the stool. He can only watch as you slide that still open jar of ointment closer to him from over the counter.

“Looks like you now pity me in the same ways I pity you,” you hum.

“I don’t need your pity,” he retorts, snatching that jar off of the top of the counter as he begins to rub the ointment over his upper body.

“And I do not need yours.” You agree. “That does not prevent it from still being there.”

“You never answered my earlier question.” He diverts the topic. “About why you hate the ancients.”

You move back over to your own stool, tugging it a little further out from the counter before sitting back down.

“Most of the ancients hold power to the highest regard. It has been engrained into me since I was small, and took years for me to unlearn that power isn’t everything.” You begin, eyes narrowing carefully at the dragon across from you. “I guard myself as I do because my father always raised me as a weapon. I was not supposed to ever exist.”

“That does’t explain why you hate the ancients.” He mumbles, pausing only briefly in his application of the salve to glance upwards in your direction.

“I don’t hate my Uncle, but I certainly resent my father.” Comes your blunt reply.

Seonghwa nearly drops the jar in his one hand before clinging to it for dear life. His eyes widen significantly, gaze darting upwards to meet your own.

“The reason I hold myself like an ancient, Boy, is because I was raised by one.” You state, voice giving away a hint of bitterness as you speak these words.

“Your father is an ancient.” His jaw nearly drops, sitting stunned in his spot.

“He’s the one that made that goddamn prophecy, too.” You spit, pure ire shining on your face. “And if you so much as ask me about that fucking Jewel, I will tear your limbs off, and shove them down your throat.”

Seonghwa raises his one hand in understanding, knowing very well that you will hold true to your threat. Even if he so badly wants to ask. Still, he cannot help the questions racing through his head. Though, one sticks out more than all of the rest.

Do his brothers know?

“I would appreciate you not spreading this around,” you’re quick to continue. “Your brothers are not aware of this fact yet, and I would like the chance to tell them myself.”

Guess that answers that.

“Why would you tell me this, then?” His eyes narrow, shifting his gaze from the jar in his hand to you.

“You said that we are not enemies.” Comes your blunt reply, tilting your head upwards slightly and staring down your nose at him. “Prove it.”

“You confuse me.” He shakes his head before continuing to apply the salve to his injuries.

“The feeling is very much mutual at times,” you agree with a slight nod. “What confuses me even more is how you haven’t discovered your power, yet.”

The jar of ointment falls from his hand.

“Careful with that, it takes a week to brew,” you tut, raising a finger and causing the jar to begin levitating in the air before being gently placed on top of the counter.

“How the fuck do you know I haven’t discovered my power, yet?” His chest heaves, eyes sharp as he glares at you.

“I have already told you countless times tonight how similar we are,” you begin. “Why do you think I understand your personality so well? At least, most of it.”

“You’re wrong.” He huffs, arms crossing in front of his chest. “I don’t have a power. I never have, and I never will.”

“Is that so?” You tilt your head in inquiry at him, mirth dancing in your gaze. In a flash, you’ve reached beneath your counter, only to stab your dagger into the top of the wood. “Tell me, do you recognize this?”

His eyes glint maliciously, guard high and whole body tense.

“How could I ever forget the blade you almost killed me with.” He sneers, leaning as far back from you as the stool will allow.

“That’s the thing, Hala,” you meet his gaze. “It should have killed you. In two, maybe three minutes, tops. Do you know how long you lasted?”

Seonghwa remains quiet.

“Fifteen.” You answer for him. “You lasted fifteen minutes before I started treating you with the antidote.”

“So, what?” He huffs, clearly unamused. “I got lucky.”

“Diluted frost berry leaves make anyone vomit on contact with their tongue,” you continue. “You had to ingest two spoonfuls in order for it to take effect.”

“I think my body was focussing on expelling the poison at that point.” He counters.

“It had already been expelled.” You reply, somewhat bluntly. “The fact that you could even move as much as you did after everything was a miracle, but not when you think about it logically.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.” He states, fidgeting in his seat.

“You told me that you fell into a bush of wild rat thorns tonight.” You place your hands onto the top of the counter, palms facing down as you lean forward. “Do you know what type of plant that is?”

He takes a moment to think before shaking his head.

“Rat thorns are one of the most toxic plants on this side of the fjord. A simple scrape from them can render you unconscious. Multiple pricks and you will become paralyzed. They are commonly used in assassinations as when their thorns are ground into a fine powder, they do not emanate a smell, nor do they have any taste.” You explain, and you watch his face drain of any and all colour. “Any other regular dragon would have died on contact, if not shortly after. The closest location of rat thorn bushes to my home is ten minutes away at top speed. You should have dropped dead within a minute. Yet, you managed to make it all the way back to my place, still breathing.”

Seonghwa begins to shake his head, standing to his feet with enough force to knock the stool he had been sitting on to the ground.

“The reason, Seonghwa, that your wounds do not immediately close when you get them,” you mirror his stance, leaning forward even further once you’re on your own two feet, “is that your body is working to expel any toxins you might have incurred during injury. Only when it deems those toxins have left your system will your cuts truly begin to heal.”

He clutches his head, backing up against the wall as his whole body shakes.

“This can’t be happening,” he mutters, tugging at his roots harshly. “This isn’t happening.”

“The reason, Seonghwa, that you are so prideful and stubborn, directly correlates to your power. A power which you have always had since birth.” Your voice softens the slightest bit, gaze easing as you notice him spare a tentative glance upwards. “Negative thoughts can be just as toxic as any physical substance, seeping in and drowning you in doubt and darkness. You just need to find the antidote.”

Slowly, his trembling stops, but those tears he had been so desperately holding back begin to streak down his face.

“You are a dragon with the power of poison, Seonghwa,” you smile softly at him, a gentle reassurance that everything will turn out okay. “Do not let it intoxicate you.”

Slowly, the male begins to sink to your floor. His back is still against the wall, eyes intently staring at his shaking hands.

“All my life,” he breathes, a light sniffle escaping him. “All my life I believed myself to be powerless.”

“Which is why I’m assuming you hate the ancients for putting so much emphasis on personalized powers,” you voice, noticing how his head shifts to look up at you from his position on the floor. 

A subtle nod is all you receiving in response. 

“Also why I’m assuming you’re so obsessed with this heedless quest for the crown.” You add. “You wanted to prove yourself as a dragon without traditional powers that you could be just as strong and ruthless as those with them.”

Again, Seonghwa nods, wiping at his eyes soon after.

“You will not be able to change your entire personality overnight,” you state, and you watch as he shifts his gaze back to you. “Yet, you should be aware of these things to start improving upon them. I will tell you the same exact thing I told that hotheaded brother of yours. You need to find the balance, and not let your power consume you. You are more than just your power.”

You hold his gaze as he slowly pushes himself back to his feet, wiping at his tearstained cheeks all the while. Softly, he begins to nod once more, sniffling lightly as he calms himself down.

“Thank you.” He bows to you once more, and his actions catch you off guard, just as much now as they did the first time. “For everything tonight.”

You smile gently at him in response, and Seonghwa cannot help the way his breath hitches slightly in his throat when he rights himself to see that glorious expression on your features.

He swallows thickly. Have you always been this kind? This beautiful?

You grab the jar of salve off of the top of the table, capping it carefully.

“You best be getting home for some rest,” you cross the small distance to your backdoor, opening it and nodding slightly in his direction. “They’ve all been worried about you.”

“I doubt they’ll even want to see me again,” his shoulders slump slightly as he trudges to the open doorway. “I’ll be lucky if they even let me back in.”

“Simply tell Hongjoong that you’re all finally ready to be taught.” You see confusion pull at his features at your words, causing you to chuckle. “He’ll understand.”

Despite his brow furrowing slightly, you see him nod.

“Don’t forget this,” you say, tossing the jar with the remainder of the salve in it at him, to which he catches easily. “Also, tell Yeosang and Yunho that I’ll meet them the day after tomorrow near the front entrance to my village at dawn.”

“Okay,” the eldest Hala nods once in understanding. He goes to take a step towards the forest before he’s halting in his tracks. A blink, and he’s turned back around to face you. “How can I ever repay you?”

You smile, leaning against the frame of the door as you cross your arms loosely over your chest. “I think you should be able to surmise that on your own, after everything we’ve discussed tonight.”

Understanding flashes across his features, and he nods once firmly in your direction.

“Do not make me regret trusting you, too, Seonghwa.” You say, keeping your voice level as you meet his gaze. “You will truly not like what happens if you do.”

Again, Seonghwa nods his understanding, bowing once more to you before shifting and taking off into the night sky.

A small smile rests on your features as you retire into your house for the evening. Slowly, you begin to put everything away, taking your time to clean and store the remainder of the herbs you’ve left out for the moment. The oil lamps are slowly put out until one remains in your hand as you retreat into your bedroom for the evening.

Tonight went much better than you ever expected it could from the moment you sensed him drawing near. You have no idea what the future has in store for you, but with how things are beginning to look, you believe it can only get brighter from here.

Speaking with the eldest Hala has also made you realize a few things. Things you just might be ready and willing to begin sharing with others again. 

One dragon in particular sticks out in your mind.

You firmly believe that Seonghwa will keep his word and not tell the others about the personal truths you revealed to him this night. You see your younger self in him too much to believe he would betray you like that. Especially after tonight.

The fact that you wake up to a basket of fresh produce sitting upon your back porch the next morning only confirms it. Not just any produce, either, but the same exact produce that he had made you drop that very first evening. Back when you had met him all those weeks ago.

[hwxnghyynjin]

Hit and Miss

Pairing: ateez x reader (ft. Stray Kids) Genre: mafia!au, angst Warnings: mentions of abuse, mentions of drunkenness, character death, kidnapping, swearing, use of weapons (knives, guns, grenades), blood, threats, wooyoung and yeosang like blowing shit up, gore, mentions of vomiting, smoking Words: 12,958 Taglist: @alphadisaster @lee--felix

Ateez are the most dangerous mafia group throughout the entirety of Seoul. Anyone who came into contact with them feared for their lives, even if they were only going for a drink in the nearest bar. They were cold, ruthless, and showed no mercy to their victims.

Their leader, Kim Hongjoong, was born into the mafia life. His father used to be a mafia leader, until he was killed by a rival gang when Hongjoong was only 10. His mother died when he was born, so he only had his father, until that tragic day. Ever since, he’s been on his own. He started stealing food since he didn’t have any money to buy food for himself.

As he grew older, he started stealing more, whether it’d be jewellery to sell for money, or drugs. Unfortunately, he got caught by the police, getting arrested at the age of 18. He was only in there for a year, being released for good behaviour at the age of 19.

Though, as soon as he was released and back into the city of Seoul, he was a changed person. He was full of anger, hatred and spite. He didn’t want to be on his own anymore, so he thought if he found people who were like him, he could carry on with his father’s legacy: becoming mafia leaders.

The first person he recruited was Choi Jongho, an 18 year old boy who he found to be battered and bruised. Jongho came from an abusive family, his father an alcoholic and his mother too scared to do anything, allowing her husband to hit Jongho over and over again. He abuses him sober, but when he’s drunk, the hits and punches get worse and worse. Jongho ended up in hospital one time, being almost beaten to death. Luckily he managed to survive, despite having broken ribs, a punctured lung and a shattered collarbone. One day, Jongho got sick and tired of the endless nights of pain and suffering, so when his father was chasing him into the kitchen, Jongho grabbed a kitchen knife, stabbing him in the neck, watching as his father’s body bled out on the floor, ignoring the shouts from him as he went over towards his mother. What she didn’t expect, though, was to have a knife hit her right in the stomach, over and over again. “You didn’t fucking help me. You just let him almost kill me, beating me every single night. Do you have any idea how much pain I’m in? No, you don’t because you didn’t fucking do anything!” Jongho shouted, ignoring the cries of his mother, dropping her to the ground.

And that’s how Hongjoong found him. Jongho was sitting on the ground, in the pouring rain, blood covering his clothes, face and hands. He didn’t seem to show any emotions, but he had a lot of anger built up inside of him, and Hongjoong wanted to use that to his advantage. So he took Jongho in under his wing.

The next person he recruited was Park Seonghwa, a boy with big boba eyes that anyone could get lost in. But don’t be fooled. Those eyes can go from innocent to evil in a split second. His demeanour and appearance seemed innocent, but he was far from that. He was dangerous, a ruthless killer. He even murdered his best- ex best actually- friends after he found out they were talking shit about him behind his back. That was when he was 15 years old. After his parents found out what he did, they kicked him out of the house, telling him they don’t know him anymore, slamming the door in his face. Ever since that day, he didn’t care and continued to kill people who wronged him. Hongjoong thought he could use Seonghwa as a killing machine, someone who won’t hesitate to torture their victim.

The next person he recruited was Song Mingi, a slender boy with sharp features, which resembled a cat. Hongjoong found out that Mingi is an excellent hacker, which he learned from his father. Mingi got kicked out of school for hacking the school system, publishing through the entire school that the head teacher was having an affair, and he was furious, so he kicked him out. Hongjoong thought he could use Mingi’s hacking skills to his advantage, hacking into security systems, so he took him in.

A boy called Jeong Yunho was the next person to be recruited, a boy with baby cheeks and fluffy brown hair. He was really tall, which comes off as intimidating to some people. Yunho has anger issues, having random outbursts and destroying things, or hurting people. He got sent down as a juvenile at the age of 15 for attacking someone who spoke to Yunho in a way he didn’t like. He got out at the age of 18, and the officer who released him asked Yunho to take anger management classes, which he said he would but he completely ignored the officer and didn’t go. Hongjoong took Yunho under his wing and introduced him to the others.

The next one he recruited was Choi San, who was really skilled at using a sniper. His father used to be in the army, who used a sniper a lot, and he taught San how to use a sniper. Though his father soon realised he shouldn’t have, because San shot his father in the head while he was doing a public speech, traumatising the public. San hated his father and wanted him gone for a long time, and now he had the chance and he took it. Hongjoong could use someone with that sort of skill, so he recruited him immediately.

The last two people he recruited were Kang Yeosang and Jung Wooyoung, who were inseparable. Hongjoong found them both covered in blood, shards of glass stuck in their clothes and face, and their hair ashy. He soon found out that they both blew up a house, using a bomb they both created, and they suffered the aftermath of the explosion. He took them both under his wing, and that’s how they all started as the most dangerous mafia group in the whole of Seoul.

--------------------------------

It started off as a normal day for you. You got up, had some breakfast and a coffee, and got ready for work. Your job wasn’t the most exciting, but it paid your bills and ensured you had food in the house, and clothes to wear. It was just a simple office job, and you liked your boss since he wasn’t strict, but rather stern to you and other workers. 

Your day went on as it usually did. Work wasn’t stressful since you didn’t really have much to do, only looking through your emails and checking through any paperwork your boss gave you. You ate lunch with your colleagues, talking about the latest film you were excited to watch.

You left work later that day, saying goodbye to your colleagues. Luckily your apartment was within walking distance from your workplace, only a 10 minute walk. It started getting dark as you left, a chilly breeze in the air. You wrapped your coat around you to try and get some warmth, your heels clicking against the pavement.

You were walking past an alleyway, and you heard cries coming from it. You peaked in the alley way but soon regretted it as you saw a man held at gunpoint. You tried to turn on your heel and run in the opposite direction, but you felt a pair of hands on you, covering your mouth to stop your screams. You struggled against the person, but stopped and a shiver travelled down your spine once the person whispered in your ear, “stop struggling otherwise I’ll cut you open”, his voice was deep and it shook you to the core. 

His hands left you and you thought you were safe as you let out a sigh of relief, until you felt a needle prick you in the neck, and you started to fall into unconsciousness, falling to the ground.

You’re not sure how long you were unconscious for but as soon as you woke up, you saw someone hovering over you. His black hair was slicked back, and he had a smirk on his face. He was about to touch his face but you freaked out, grabbing his wrist and flipped him over, you now sitting on his back.

You didn’t stay on top of his back for long, though, as you felt a tingling sensation in your side, making you fall sideways. Your body shook for a few minutes, and you looked up to see a guy standing over you, holding a taser. “You’re a feisty little one, aren’t you?” the one holding the taser said, smirking down at you. “Where am I? What do you want? Who are you?” you asked question after question, making the guy roll his eyes. “And you’re also chatty and annoying. Noted”, he muttered to himself, but you heard him. You don’t know what went through your mind at the very moment but you ended up kicking him in the back of the leg, knocking him to the ground. You took that opportunity to get up, running to the nearest door you saw. You opened the door, and saw a bunch of stairs, running up them. 

“Wooyoung, why didn’t you lock the fucking door?” Yeosang said, dropping his taser and running after you. You didn’t look back, not even for a moment, scared to see that you were being chased. You pushed open a door, which led you into what seemed to be a hallway. You didn’t know where to go but your mind was telling you to go left for some reason, so you did. You turned a corner, but you accidentally bumped into something. Or someone. You looked up and saw a pair of eyes which reminded you of boba pearls. 

“Yah, what are you doing out here?” that deep voice. He was the one who grabbed you before you fell unconscious. You didn’t answer him, your words trapped in your throat. He grew annoyed at you as he stepped forward, making you take a step backwards. “Seonghwa, you’re scaring the poor girl”, so that’s what his name was. You turned around and saw a guy with black hair, wearing all black. “But Hongjoong, she escaped out of the basement. Wooyoung didn’t lock the fucking door, that stupid dickhead”, Seonghwa said, clenching his fists. “Well, since she’s now out, might as well show her around since she’s not going anywhere for a while”, Hongjoong said, and you narrowed your eyes at him. “Who the fuck do you think you are? I’m leaving right now and no one can stop me”, you said, crossing your arms. Hongjoong laughed at you, and you suddenly felt small. “Girl, do you even know who we are?” he asked, and you shook your head, having no idea who they were.

“Baby, we’re Ateez. The most dangerous mafia group in the whole of Seoul”, as soon as you processed what they just said, you froze. No, you can’t have been kidnapped by them. This must be all a nightmare and you’ll wake up soon in the comfort of your bed. You closed your eyes tightly, hoping this was all just a nightmare. “What are you doing?” Seonghwa asked you, looking at you weirdly. That’s when you realised: this was all real. “Now, you must be wondering why you’re here, right?” Hongjoong asked you, and you nodded. If they’re the most dangerous mafia group throughout the whole of Seoul, why haven’t they killed you yet? Unless they are waiting for the right moment.

“You’re here because you witnessed me killing a man. Because of that, we had to kidnap you. Now normally, when someone witnesses something we do, we kill them instantly, to get rid of any chances of us getting caught. But you see, there’s something about you that I like. And I want you to join our team”, Hongjoong said, not looking away from you. You didn’t even hesitate before speaking, “no thanks”, and walked away. Well, at least you tried to before Seonghwa grabbed you, earning a scream from you. Hongjoong soon turned angry as he stormed over to the two of you, looking at you, your arms trapped behind your back as Seonghwa grips them.

“Seems like I gotta do this the hard way instead”, Hongjoong said, grabbing a knife out of his pocket, pointing it at you. You felt the knife dug into your stomach, hard enough to draw blood but not enough to pierce the skin. Hongjoong laughed as he saw the fear on your face, an evil smirk on his face. “Seonghwa, lock her in the spare bedroom. If she doesn’t agree to being a part of her team by the time I get back, kill her”, Hongjoong ordered, walking away. Your eyes widened at hearing the words ‘kill her’, fearing for your life. Seonghwa picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder. You hit him and kicked your feet, begging to be put down. Seonghwa threw you inside a room, closing the door and locking it. You banged on the door, shouting for him to unlock it but he ignored your screams, walking away, twirling a knife around his fingers. 

You figured he wasn’t going to open the door, so you just stopped banging the door after a while, your hand hurting. You slid your back against the door, sitting on the floor. You rested your arms on your knees, and that’s when you noticed how dirty your clothes were. Your shirt was all crinkled and dusty, probably from when you were thrown into the basement. Your trousers were scuffed at the knees, and had holes in them. You have no idea where your shoes are, they must have fallen off somewhere. 

You were in such a dilemma. You had to choose between joining the mafia, or be killed. You didn’t want to be part of the mafia, but you didn’t want to be killed either. You threw your head back into the door, tugging on your hair out of frustration. You suddenly felt a vibration in your pocket, which startled you. You went into your pocket, noticing that your phone was still in there. You checked it, seeing you had 20 missed calls and 50 unread messages. You unlocked your phone, and they were all from your family, friends and your boyfriend. You wanted to call your parents but you were scared that if you did, Hongjoong would find out and end up killing them. So you did what you had to do. You blocked all your family and friends’ contacts. It was for the best. If you did that, they won’t be able to contact you and hopefully just forget about you and go on with their lives. Yes it was a tough decision, but it had to be done.

You turned your phone off, putting it back in your pocket. You guess in order for you to not die, you had to join Hongjoong’s team, even though you really didn’t want to. You just hoped you didn’t end up turning into a cold-blooded killer like them.

You have no idea how long Hongjoong will be, whatever he was doing had to be important, so you decided to take a nap. You were tired from all the running you did, and your stomach hurt. Sleeping wouldn’t hurt. You laid down on the single bed, your head hitting the softness of the pillow. You closed your eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

You weren’t asleep for long, though, as you woke up to screaming. You got up off the bed, went to the door and tried to listen to what was going on. “YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU LOST THE FUCKING MONEY?!” it was Hongjoong, and hearing him shout scared the shit out of you. You’ve heard people shout before, but the kind you just heard was more like manic screaming. There were a few more screams before a loud bang, and then silence. You backed away from the door, your hands shaking. The door suddenly opened, revealing someone different. He was really tall, a mop of blonde messy hair on his head. He walked towards you, grabbing your arm, pulling you out of the room. You struggled against him, your arm hurting due to him digging his nails into your flesh. He didn’t seem to care though as he continued pulling you along with him. You came across some wooden double doors, a dark mahogany colour. The guy pushed the doors open, revealing what seemed to be an office. It was huge, pictures hung up on the walls, a cabinet full of bottles of alcohol, and a wooden desk in the middle of the room. There were other people in the room, and Hongjoong with his back to you, leaning against the desk.

The guy pushed you, making you fall to the floor with a thud. Your eyes widened as soon as you saw a dead body on the floor, blood oozing out of him. Hongjoong turned around and looked at you on the floor. “Thank you, Yunho”, Hongjoong said, looking at the guy with blonde hair. Hongjoong walked over to you, moving the dead body out of the way with his foot and crouched down to your level, looking you straight in the eye. “You made your mind up, doll?” he asked, pointing his knife at you again. You were still hesitant about joining his team, but you didn’t want to die, so you had no choice. 

“I swear to god if you try anything, and I mean anything, I will cut your dick off and make you eat it”, you threatened, making Hongjoong laugh. “I like you”, he said before helping you up. “Listen, just because I’m joining your team doesn’t mean I like any of you. I’m joining because I don’t want to die”, you said, looking at everyone in the room. The only people in the room you knew the name of were Seonghwa, Hongjoong, and Yunho. You didn’t know the others, but you did recognise two of them, since they were both in the basement with you.

“You’ve already met Seonghwa and Yunho. You’ll get to meet the others soon”, Hongjoong said, sitting back down at his desk. “Also, your clothes are filthy”, he said, and you scoffed. “No shit, I was literally down in a dirty basement”, you said, rolling your eyes. “Wooyoung, Yeosang, take the girl to get some new clothes”, he ordered, and the guys who were in the basement with you walked towards you. So that’s what their names were. “Hey, my name is y/n”, you said to Hongjoong. You thought if you told your name, everyone wouldn’t call you ‘girl’ every time they spoke about you. “Good to know, now leave”, Hongjoong said, gesturing for you to leave.

--------------------------------

“Will you hurry up in there? I’m getting bored”, Yeosang said, sighing to himself as you were still in the fitting room. “Have some patience”, you said, trying on a pair of black cargo pants. You liked the way they fitted your legs, and they felt really comfy. You definitely wanted them, and Wooyoung and Yeosang said you can get whatever clothes you wanted.

You’ve been trying on clothes for hours now, and the clothes kept piling up. You were looking through a bunch of different shirts, when you felt a tap on your shoulder, turning around to see Yeosang holding a floor length red dress, with a slit in it. You were surprised that he picked it up, when not even a couple of hours ago, he said he was getting bored. “Try this on”, he shoved it in your hands and pushed you into the fitting room. While you were trying the dress on, Yeosang and Wooyoung were talking outside about something, which you weren’t paying attention to. You zipped the dress up at the back, and stepped out of the fitting room, showing Wooyoung and Yeosang.

“What do you think?” you asked, wanting their opinion on it. They looked at you, their eyes bulging out of their sockets. Though they soon shook their heads, pretending they weren’t just gawking at you. “I think it looks good”, Wooyoung said, and Yeosang agreed. You got changed back into your clothes, and put the dress in the pile of clothes that they were holding. You also got a few pairs of shoes, ranging from heels to boots to sneakers. 

You all went to pay, Wooyoung pulled out a bank card that looked like it was stolen. “Yah, how the hell are you going to pay for all this? Also, is that a stolen credit card?” you whispered to Wooyoung, wanting to be sure that no one heard you. Since Wooyoung was wearing a mask, you couldn’t see the smirk on his face. “Don’t worry about that, sweet cheeks”, he said, patting your cheek as he used the credit card on the card machine, the transaction going through.

--------------------------------

You’ve been with Ateez for a couple of days now, and you’re currently in the training room with Jongho, learning how to fight. You were wearing casual clothes, which was a hoodie (with a sports bra underneath), a pair of black sweatpants and trainers. You tried really hard not to stare at Jongho but how could you not when his biceps were bulging out of his t-shirt?

Every time you tried to hit him, he dodged them and jabbed you in the side, and flipped you over onto the ground. You’re pretty sure you have whiplash from the amount of times your back slammed against the floor. 

It’s been a couple of hours now, and you were exhausted. You felt like you could collapse at any moment as you rested your hands on your knees, trying to catch your breath. “Ok, that’s enough for today. It seems like you’re not ready to fight, or you’re just not trying”, Jongho said as he grabbed his bag. “You think I’m not trying? Bitch please”, you rolled your eyes, giving him an attitude, which he didn’t like one bit. He walked over to you, grabbing your chin to make you look at him. “Don’t give me attitude, missy. I could still kill you, you know?” Jongho said, letting go of your face.

“Mingi’s waiting for you”, Jongho said, walking out of the room with his back, leaving you alone in the room. You debated whether or not to get changed but you couldn’t be bothered, so you decided to leave your current clothes on, heading to where Mingi would be. You walked down a bunch of hallways, soon reaching where Mingi is. You went inside the room, and the first thing you saw were a bunch of computers with encryption software on them. Yeah, this was the right room.

“Uh, Mingi?” you called out, wondering where the hell he was. Suddenly a head popped up, revealing himself. He called you over to where he was, a huge computer in front of him, his keyboard lit with colourful lights. You’ve only seen setups like this in films, so to see it in real life was an experience. 

You expected Mingi to show you how to hack, to talk you through it but instead, he just carried on with what he was doing on his computer, completely ignoring your existence. You just sat there, your arms crossed, as you just watched what he was doing. “Yah, have you forgotten I’m here or something?” you asked, making Mingi jump. He just stared at you, his lips pouted and his big brown eyes widened. How is this guy part of the most dangerous mafia group in the entirety of Seoul? He looks the complete opposite.

“How are you part of the most dangerous mafia group in Seoul? You’re totally the opposite of dangerous and scary”, you said, and hearing that, Mingi slammed his hands down on the desk, scaring you. “Sweetheart, have you heard of the saying, ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’?” Mingi asked, and you nodded slowly, starting to regret what you just said.

You were getting bored just sitting there, watching him as you sighed constantly. He was getting annoyed with your constant sighing, and it was distracting him. He tried really hard not to yell at you, since he didn’t like yelling in general. He was the total opposite of Hongjoong, who shouted a lot when he was frustrated or angry, whereas when Mingi was frustrated or angry, he was the silent type and honestly, that was more scary than screaming and shouting.

Mingi turned to you, glaring at you as he narrowed his eyes. You stopped sighing, freezing in your seat. You felt small under his gaze, sinking into your seat. “If you’re going to be annoying by constantly sighing, just leave”, he said, turning back to his computer. “Did you even want me here? Cause Jongho said you were waiting for me”, you said, playing with the strings of your hoodie. “Yeah, well, I was, but then I realised how annoying you are”, Mingi said, his words hurting you. You didn’t show that you were hurt but your heart sank. You just rolled your eyes, pretending to be annoyed at him. “You’re no fun”, you said and got up out of your seat, walking out of the room.

You walked down a long corridor, and you suddenly heard a loud bang, making you jump. You then heard clapping and cheering, confusing you. What the hell was that? You walked towards where the sound was coming from, opening a door. You popped your head in, and saw Wooyoung and Yeosang, and they were making something. You figured they were making explosives judging by the loud noise you just heard. 

“Ah, y/n, come in”, Wooyoung said, gesturing for you to come in. You headed in further into the room, looking round. You noticed different chemicals on shelves, along with petrol canisters and other different items which you didn’t recognise. There was also a small room within the room, which you assumed was where they were testing the homemade explosives in (you thought it looked like an interrogation room). “Wait, weren’t you supposed to be with Mingi?” Yeosang asked, pouring some chemicals into a beaker, stirring it. “I was but he called me annoying and told me to leave”, you murmured, suddenly feeling embarrassed because honestly, it sounded stupid.

“That’s not surprising”, Wooyoung said, measuring some chemicals. You raised an eyebrow, wondering what he meant by that. “You see, Mingi isn’t exactly a people’s person. Yeah, he is around 7 other people but most of the time, when we aren’t out doing business related things, he spends most of his time cooped up in his room”, Wooyoung said. No wonder Mingi didn’t say much.

“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to sit down?” Yeosang said, glaring at you as you still stood by the door. You grabbed a seat, sitting opposite of the two men. They finished making another bomb, Wooyoung standing up and walked over to where the ‘interrogation’ room is, putting the explosive inside. He closed the door, and waited for Yeosang to count before pressing a button, the bomb exploding, making you jump out of your seat. You fell on the floor, the chair toppling over with a bang. Wooyoung and Yeosang looked over, seeing you on the floor. They just laughed at you, seeing you pouting on the floor. “You’ll get used to the noise, don’t worry”, Yeosang said, still laughing to himself. You got up off the floor, picking the chair up. 

They could see the fear on your face, and their smiles were replaced by frowns. They didn’t mean to scare you, they just wanted to show you how they made their explosives. “Hey, uh, if we scared you, I’m sorry”, Wooyoung said, making Yeosang elbow him. “Why do you always apologise? Are you forgetting we’re part of the mafia or something? It’s our job to scare people”, Yeosang said. They suddenly started arguing, Wooyoung shouting something along the lines of ‘I didn’t want to join the mafia’. 

While they were arguing, you quietly snuck out of the room, closing the door behind you. You took a deep breath, calming yourself down. You were slowly starting to regret agreeing to Hongjoong’s offer, you should have just let him kill you. There’s no going back now though, you were now part of the mafia.

--------------------------------

You were in the shooting range with San, watching him shoot targets with different guns. Yes, his speciality was using snipers, but he wanted to learn how to use different guns. You were wearing ear defenders to protect your ears from the loud noises, waiting for San to teach you how to handle and use a gun.

He took off his safety glasses, turned to you and gave them to you. You put them on, and San guided you to where you needed to stand, handing a gun to you. He told you all the things you needed to know about using a gun, and then he let you try and shoot the gun.

Unfortunately, after so many tries, you couldn’t get the handle of using a gun, missing the target each time. You sighed out of frustration, and you could sense the frustration coming off of San. “Ok, it seems like you’re not ready to use a gun yet”, San said, taking the gun off you, putting it back in its place. You took the safety glasses off and gave them back to San. You awkwardly walked out of the room, and you wanted to scream. You didn’t know what you were doing and you were so embarrassed. 

You headed towards your room, your hood covering your head. You were about to open the door to your room when a voice stopped you. “y/n, Seonghwa wants you down in the basement with him”, it was Yunho and he had blood on his face. You were too scared to ask whose blood it was so you just nodded and walked towards the basement. Why did Seonghwa want you in the basement with him? Oh god, he wasn’t going to kill you, was he?

He headed into the basement, your only source of light being the small light bulb at the top of the staircase. You made your way down the stairs carefully, not wanting to trip. You reached the bottom of the stairs, and the sound of cries could be heard behind the door. You opened it, and what you saw terrified you. In the middle of the room was a man tied up, blood coming out of his mouth as he spat, a few teeth hitting the ground. Seonghwa’s hands were covered in blood, and a few splatters of blood on his face. Now you know why Yunho had blood on his face.

“Yah, woman, please help me”, the man cried as he looked at you, and you noticed one of his eyes was filled with blood. Seonghwa hit the man over the head with a crowbar, earning a scream from him. You just stood there, not knowing what to do. “y/n, come here”, Seonghwa demanded, and you wasted no time and ran over to him, standing beside him. Seonghwa held out a knife for you to take, and you just stared at it. You slowly took the knife off him, gripping it in your hand. The next few words that left Seonghwa’s mouth scared you.

“I want you to kill this man”

You immediately froze in your spot. Kill someone? You’ve never even punched anyone before, let alone kill anyone. You kept glancing back and forth at the knife in your hand and the man sitting in the chair. Seonghwa pushed you forward, making you stand right in front of the man. He kept coughing, blood spluttering from his mouth. You stared at him and took a proper look at him: his nose was crooked and broken, his jaw was out of place, and one of his ears was ripped off. What did this man do in order for him to be tortured like this?

Seonghwa was getting pissed off, annoyed that you weren’t doing anything, so he took matters into his own hands. He snatched the knife out of your hands and slashed the man’s neck, blood trickling down his body as he started gagging, gasping for air. His body soon went limp, his arm dropping down and his body went still. You wanted to look away from the dead body, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t move. All you could do was just stare at the now lifeless body of the man. You couldn’t scream or cry. You felt traumatised. You wanted to throw up.

Seonghwa dropped the bloody knife on the table next to him, and left the basement, leaving you all alone. The door slammed shut, and you suddenly came back to reality. Your insides churned and you doubled over, throwing your guts up on the floor. You wiped your mouth with your sleeve, and left the basement. You closed the door behind you, and walked towards your room, hopefully without being interrupted again. You entered your room, closing the door behind you and flopped onto your bed. You didn’t bother getting changed into your pyjamas as you fell asleep, hoping that your mind wouldn’t be filled with nightmares.

--------------------------------

It’s been a month since you joined the mafia, and if you weren’t already crazy, you’re most definitely going crazy now. You’re all alone as the others went out for some business related stuff, you didn’t know where as they didn’t tell you. You haven’t been out with any of them yet since they thought ‘you weren’t ready’, which annoyed you. It’s making you go crazy, you haven’t been outside for a month.

You were wandering around for a while, just casually looking around the place. You walked past the basement, and suddenly heard a muffled scream, which was coming from the basement. You stopped, making sure you weren’t hearing things, but you weren’t as you heard it again. You walked down to the basement, mentally preparing yourself for what you were going to see.

You opened the door and saw a young man, probably around the same age as you. He was battered and bruised, and overall looked like shit. You walked up to him and stood in front of him. He looked up at you, and he seemed surprised to see you. He looked you up and down, and you felt uncomfortable under his gaze.

“Please help me. I need to get out of here. Some fucking idiot knocked me out and I ended up tied up down here”, he babbled on about how he ended up in the basement, and you just stared at him, not saying anything. 

“What did you do to get attacked?” you asked after a couple minutes of silence, and your question confused the man. “What do you mean what did I do? I was just casually walking”, he answered and you scoffed. You were surprisingly keeping your cool, which scared you. “There must be a reason for someone to get attacked, you know? So let me ask you again”, you said as you grabbed a knife and turned back to the man, “what did you do?”

You pointed the knife at him, and the man feared for his life. You moved closer to him, and the knife was touching his neck, and a sob escaped him. All of a sudden, the man just burst. “You really wanna know what I did? Ok I’ll tell you. I hit my girlfriend over and over again. She deserved it anyway. She’s so fucking annoying and doesn’t listen to me when I say she can’t talk to anyone else except me”, he confessed, and his eyes went wide as soon as he realised what he just said.

You moved the knife away from his neck, and the man thought he was safe, but he was wrong as he felt a sharp pain in his stomach. You had stabbed him. You stabbed him over and over again, ignoring his cries telling you to stop. You dropped the knife, and you kicked the man in the chest, knocking him over as the chair he’s tied to breaks. You grabbed a crowbar, and hit the man over the head numerous times. Blood and brain matter splattered you in the face but you didn’t care. You started laughing as you kept hitting him, and the laughter turned manic. 

You dropped the crowbar on the floor, and stepped over the dead body, leaving the basement. You didn’t care if you were covered in brain matter and blood. You wiped your face with the sleeve of your shirt and closed the door behind you. You headed for the training room, wanting to let out your frustration. 

You took out all your frustration on a punching bag, not caring if you end up bruising your knuckles. You’ve been punching it for about 25 minutes now, and you were dripping with sweat. You were getting more aggressive with your punches, making the punching bag swing back and forth. You made one last punch, letting out a scream of frustration, and you accidentally made the punching bag fall to the ground with a loud thud. You were surprised by your own strength, you didn’t even know you could do that.

Suddenly, you heard a bunch of voices, signalling that they are back from their mission. You walked out of the training room, and the first person you saw was Jongho, and he looked pissed. You weren’t sure why though, well, that was until you saw Yunho and Mingi supporting San, his arms slung around their necks. 

“What the hell happened?!” you asked, running to help. San suddenly fell, his body hitting the ground as he winced in pain. You helped him up, ignoring his protests but soon accepted your help as he held onto you. The sound of Jongho shouting startled you all, but you kept your composure. You still weren’t used to their shouting. Whilst you, Yunho and Mingi took San to the infirmary, Hongjoong went to his office, along with Seonghwa. 

“That fucking bastard’s team shot San. He’s going to pay for what he did”, Hongjoong said, slamming his hands on his desk. Seonghwa just stood there, letting Hongjoong let out his frustrations as he continued hitting his desk. Hongjoong soon turned around after a few minutes, facing Seonghwa. 

“Can y/n use a gun? Or even know how to fight?” Hongjoong asked, thinking it was time to take you on their missions. Besides, he thought it would be good for you to get used to going on their missions, getting used to the mafia.

“I mean, she has been practising using a gun from what I’ve heard. San said she’s getting better, and Jongho said they’ve been practising fighting techniques this past month so, I’m sure she can”, Seonghwa said. His only problem was though, are you able to actually kill someone?

Hongjoong dismissed Seonghwa, leaving him alone in his office. Seonghwa headed down to the basement, checking on his latest victim. When he opened the door, he wasn’t expecting to see him lying on the floor, blood pooling around his dead body. His head was smashed in, and there was a crowbar and knife on the floor. He let out a scream of anger, running out of the basement, slamming the door. There was only one person at the base while they were out: you.

He ran to the infirmary, pushing the doors open, making his presence known. San was lying on a bed, his side now stitched up and bandaged up. Mingi was nowhere to be seen, probably back in his room. You and Yunho were still in the infirmary with San, Yunho checking up on him every few minutes or so, while you were just sitting there by his bed. 

You looked up to see Seonghwa storming in, the anger seething off of him. “What the fuck did you do?!” Seonghwa said, the anger evident in his voice. You were confused for a moment until you remembered what you did, and you just chuckled. “I’m assuming you’re on about the dead body in the basement?” you asked, and Seonghwa was confused about the way you’re acting. Only a month ago, you were unable to kill the guy Seonghwa told you to kill and now, you fucking brutally murdered someone.

“Why did you kill him? You shouldn’t have”, he kept getting closer to you, getting right in your face. You pushed him backwards, nearly knocking him over. You were a completely different person. “Why would I keep someone alive who abuses women? Sorry but, a man who abuses a woman doesn’t deserve to live”, you said and barged past him, leaving the infirmary. If Seonghwa was going to be honest, he loved this new side of you, and you were definitely ready to go out on missions with them.

Back in his office, Hongjoong was sitting at his desk, lighting a cigarette. He took a puff, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and inhaled the smoke before blowing it out. He relaxed back in his chair, putting his feet up on his desk. There was classical music quietly playing in the background as he closed his eyes. That was the only time he could relax and sit down properly. It was quiet, apart from the faint sound of the music playing in the background. Well, it was for a few minutes until you stormed into his office.

“When are you going to let me leave? I hate being cooped up inside 24/7”, you said, getting straight to the point. “Hello to you too”, Hongjoong said, taking another puff of his cigarette. He offered you one and if he offered you one a month ago, you would have said no but you’re a changed person now, so you grabbed one. You put it in your mouth, Hongjoong lighting it for you. 

You took a puff, inhaling the smoke and coughed, choking on the smoke. You’ve never smoked a single cigarette in your life, you haven’t done drugs, and you hardly drank alcohol. You were known as an angel to your friends, someone who always did the right thing and always made good life choices. But now, you’ve thrown that out of the window, and you didn’t even care. You took another puff, inhaling the smoke and didn’t cough this time, blowing the smoke out of your mouth.

“y/n, how are you with a gun?” Hongjoong asked you, putting the rest of his cigarette into the ashtray on his desk. “I can aim and shoot, if that’s what you mean”, you said, taking another drag of your cigarette. You put the rest of the cigarette into the ashtray, and took a step back from the desk. 

“Since San was shot, you’re going to be joining us on our missions. You’re going to be coming on every mission from now on”, Hongjoong said, leaning back in his seat. Your eyes widened, and you started jumping up and down on the spot, happy that you’re finally getting to go outside after a long time.

--------------------------------

You were in your room, getting ready to go out on a mission. You laced up your boots, slipped your shirt on over your head, and put your guns in your pockets. You checked yourself in the mirror before leaving your room, closing the door behind you.

You all left your base, getting into a black van. Yunho sat in the driver's seat, while Hongjoong sat beside him. The rest of you sat in the back of the van, you squashed between Yeosang and Wooyoung. The drive was rather quiet, apart from the odd small talk. You were worrying about San, but you didn’t want to show it as you had to focus on the mission. San was still resting, probably high on pain meds.

You arrived at your destination, which was an abandoned office building, and to say it creeped you out was an understatement. There were broken windows and glass all over the place, sides of the building had falling bricks, and just the look of it made you feel uneasy.

You all got out of the van, and you headed inside. Your sniper was hanging off your shoulder, so it was easy to grab it in case you needed to use it. Mingi was still in the van, setting up his computer so he could hack into the building, if there was still power in the building. 

You all went in different directions, so the rival gang would think it was only Hongjoong and Seonghwa who went. While Hongjoong and Seonghwa went to meet with the rival gang, you went up somewhere high in the building so you could use your sniper and not be seen, and Wooyoung and Yeosang went and placed explosives down as traps, as well as other traps they made. Yunho and Jongho followed Hongjoong and Seonghwa but stayed far behind so they wouldn’t get caught, just in case they needed backup.

You all had earpieces in, so you can talk to each other without being close to one another. Hongjoong and Seonghwa walked into a room, and the rival gang leader was sitting in the middle of the room, two of his members standing each side of him. The others were nowhere to be seen, probably roaming the building. 

“I see it’s just the two of you. I’m surprised you haven’t brought the rest of your gang with you”, the leader said with a smirk. Hongjoong scoffed as he clenched his fist, Seonghwa looking annoyed. 

“Just get to it, Chan. Give us the money, and tell us what you want”, Hongjoong said. Yes, there is another gang in Seoul, who wasn’t as dangerous as Ateez but were ruthless. The only difference was, they didn’t kill innocent civilians like Ateez. The leader, Chan, threw a bag of money to Hongjoong, which had 1 billion won in it. Hongjoong grabbed the bag, giving it to Seonghwa.

“Now tell me what you want”, Hongjoong said, wanting to know why Chan wanted to meet with him. “Give her back”, Chan said, standing up. Hongjoong was confused, wondering who he was talking about. Then something in him clicked. Chan was talking about you.

“Sorry but, y/n is with us now”, Hongjoong said, taking a step forward. Seonghwa suddenly started feeling uneasy, something didn’t feel right. It was rather quiet and the overall atmosphere was heavy. Seonghwa slowly went for his knife, his hand gripping the handle. “Are you sure you guys are the only ones here?” Seonghwa asked Chan, and Chan started smirking.

“You guys are fucking stupid for coming here alone”, Chan said as he chuckled, but his chuckling soon stopped when he heard Hongjoong scoff. “Do you really think I’m stupid enough to come here alone?” Hongjoong said as he smirked. All of a sudden, there was a loud explosion, and then a scream. Seonghwa turned around, throwing his knife and hit one of Chan’s member’s straight in the forehead, knocking him to the ground. 

Gun shots could be heard in the distance as Seonghwa tackled one of Chan’s men to the ground, stabbing him over and over again, blood pooling around his now dead body. Upstairs, you shot a guy in the head, kicking his body out of the window, his body hitting the ground with a thud. You ran forward but as you were about to turn a corner, someone ran into you, and you screamed as you went out the window. Luckily your reflexes have improved as you grabbed onto the window ledge, gripping onto it tightly so you didn’t fall. However, the guy who pushed you out the window grabbed onto your ankle, trying to pull you down with him. You tried kicking him off you, but he wouldn’t budge. You grabbed your gun, trying to aim it with one hard. You closed your eyes, praying that you hit him square in the head, and pulled the trigger. The guy let go of your ankle, dropping to the ground.

You climbed in through the window, and sat on the floor. You tried catching your breath before getting back to shooting people, that near death experience knocked you for six. You knew being in the mafia was scary, but you didn’t realise just how terrifying it was.

You got up after a few minutes, grabbed your gun and started running. You checked in every room, seeing if there was anyone hiding in them. You kept your guard up, not letting yourself get distracted. You heard shouting and more gunshots in the distance, and you hoped to God that the others were okay, or at least, still alive. 

There was another explosion, and another scream, and you stopped in your tracks. That sounded close. Goddamn you Wooyoung and Yeosang for putting explosives randomly all over the place. You have to tread carefully now, so you don’t accidentally stand on an explosive.

You continued looking in the rooms with caution, being careful about where you stand. You came to the end of the hallway and were about to head downstairs, when you saw someone in the corner of your eye. You turned to look at the person, and you gasped as you saw them throw something towards you: it was a grenade. 

Everything suddenly felt like it was going in slow motion. The grenade slowly went towards you and your movements were slow. You headed towards the stairs. All of a sudden, you felt someone grab you, throwing the both of you down the stairs. The grenade missed you by a couple of inches, exploding as it hit the wall. You hit the ground with a groan, your back coming into contact with the ground. You realised the person who grabbed you was Wooyoung.

“Are you ok?” Wooyoung asked you, looking down at you. You nodded as you winced, your back hurting like fuck. “I am, but I think my back is going to be bruised. Now get off me please, you’re heavy”, you said, trying to push Wooyoung off you. He got off you and stood up, helping you up. 

The both of you started running, the sound of shouting getting louder and closer the further you ran. You turned a corner and saw Jongho fighting someone. He suddenly grabbed his head, twisting it and breaking his neck, his body falling to the ground with a thud.

“Wooyoung, get y/n out of here and make sure that none of Chan’s guys sees her”, Jongho said, Wooyoung pulling you by the wrist. Wait, Chan? Who is Chan?

You and Wooyoung left the building, heading back to the van. Wooyoung ignored your protests, not letting go of you, not even for a second. You both got back into the van, sitting behind Mingi who was still on his laptop. On the screen was footage from different rooms in the building. 

In one of the surveillance videos, you noticed something which seemed off. You asked Mingi to make the footage bigger, Mingi clicking on the footage. The three of you took a closer look at the footage, and your eyes went wide when you realised what was in it. There was a bomb in the middle of the room, but it wasn’t like the ones that Yeosang and Wooyoung made. This one was different, and it had 10 minutes reading off of it. If that goes off, the whole building would collapse.

“Yah, if you all are listening, you need to get out now. There’s a bomb and it has 10 minutes left before it goes off”, Mingi said, hoping that the others were listening. All of a sudden, people started running out of the building a few minutes later, which you assumed were part of the rival gang. You couldn’t see any of the others, and you were panicking.

“Mingi, can you see where they are?” you asked, your whole body shaking with panic and fear. Mingi looked through different footage, trying to see whether the others were. Unfortunately he couldn’t find them, and you were on the verge of getting out of the van and running into the building. As you looked out of the window, you saw the others but the only person you didn’t see was Hongjoong. Where the fuck was he?

“Mingi, how long is there left on the timer?” you asked, your body shaking with panic. “5 minutes”, Mingi said and as soon as you heard him say ‘5 minutes’, you ran out of the van, ignoring the pleas of the others.

You ran back inside the building, trying to find Hongjoong. You called out to him, shouting his name over and over, but you heard no response. You ran into a room, pushing the doors open, and that’s when you saw Hongjoong lying on the floor. You ran over to him, immediately checking his pulse. He was still alive thankfully.

You tapped his face numerous times, trying to wake him up. Unfortunately he wouldn’t, and you were panicking. You were worried you weren’t going to get out in time. 

“Hongjoong, I’m sorry for having to do this”, you apologised to him before you slapped him across the face, and it surprisingly worked. His eyes opened as he groaned, moving his hand to his head. “What happened?” Hongjoong asked as soon as he saw you. “I have no idea what happened to you but I’m assuming you were fighting someone and ended up getting knocked out. Now get your fat ass up before this place blows up”, you said, pulling him up by his arm.

“You guys better be close to getting out because there’s less than a minute left before the whole building comes crashing down”, Mingi said, his voice echoing in your ear. You moved quicker, which was a bit of a struggle with Hongjoong leaning into you, but you managed.

You made it outside and as soon as you were close to the van, there was a loud bang and the whole building came crashing down. The passenger door opened, helping Hongjoong to get inside. Once you were sure he was sitting down in his seat, you closed the door and got in the back. Yunho drove off, heading back to your base.

--------------------------------

“Fuck!” Chan said as he slammed the door to his office shut, screaming out of frustration. He slammed his hands down on his desk, closing his eyes as he tried to calm himself down. Suddenly the door to his office opened, someone walking in. 

“Did you get her?” the deep voice asked, waiting in anticipation. Chan turned around to face the young man, his face filled with guilt. “I’m sorry Felix, we couldn’t, but we will get her back, I promise”, Chan said to his team mate, Felix.

Felix met you four years ago while you were drinking in your local coffee shop. You were drinking by yourself and he thought you looked cute, so he decided to go over to you and introduce himself. Hopefully you wouldn’t think he was a weirdo. 

Luckily you thought he was cute too, so you let him buy you a drink and you talked for ages. You kept staring at his face, thinking how beautiful he was. You’ve never met anyone as attractive as this man, and you felt butterflies in your stomach whenever he spoke in his deep voice. 

You talked about your life goals and what you wanted to achieve in life, and things you liked to do in your free time. You told him you worked an office job, even though you didn’t find it very exciting it paid your bills. You asked him where he worked and he looked hesitant to answer at first, but he replied by saying he worked for an unknown company, and you thought he meant that he didn’t want to reveal his job so you didn’t ask any more questions.

The more you spoke, the closer you got. You were addicted to his deep voice and his smile. Hell, you were addicted to him. He was like a drug that you couldn’t resist, no matter how hard you tried to stay away. Not that you wanted to stay away from him anyway.

A year into your friendship, he realised he had feelings for you. The way you smiled, the way you cared for everyone. Everything you did, he fell in love with you even more. He didn’t know if you felt the same, but only time will tell.

One day, though, you suddenly confessed to him out of nowhere, saying that you had feelings for him. Honestly, he didn’t see you as the bold type but guess he was wrong. You figured that if you confessed your feelings, Felix would do the same. Yeah, Felix wasn’t as secretive about his feelings towards you as he thought. You told him that and he felt embarrassed as he covered his face with his hands. He soon asked you out to be his girlfriend, holding your hands. 

As soon as you got together, though, he had to be extra careful since he was part of the mafia, and he didn’t want you to find out. He didn’t want to risk putting you in any danger. He didn’t even tell his team mates about you, not wanting to risk them finding you.

Felix was lucky enough to keep his secret from you in the three years you were together, making sure you didn’t expect a thing. He thought everything was going well, until you suddenly stopped replying to his messages and missing his calls. He knew something was up as you never missed his calls unless you were busy, and you would message him if you were. 

He soon realised who kidnapped you, wanting to kill Hongjoong. He had to tell his team mates what happened, and hope that they won’t kill you after they find you. He loved you too much to lose you.

Felix paced the room, tugging on his hair. “Hey, Felix, we’ll find her, I promise you. After we do, we can kill those bastards for kidnapping her”, Chan reassured him, patting him on the shoulder. 

--------------------------------

You were all gathered around a table, you sitting between Wooyoung and Yeosang. “So, what do we do about this rival group, Stray Kids? I think you called them?” you said to Hongjoong, who was sitting opposite you.

“I have a plan. There’s a party not far from here which I’m pretty sure they will be going to, so we’ll be going there too. y/n, you try to seduce one of them and distract him, and the rest of us will get the others”, Hongjoong said, looking round at everyone.

You’ve never seduced anyone in your life before, let alone a complete stranger. You soon started thinking about your boyfriend- well, ex boyfriend- and how much you missed him. You missed his warm hugs, his warm smile and his presence. You were lost in thought until you felt someone poke you in the arm, looking to your side, seeing Wooyoung looking at you.

“Be warned though, there will be lots of sick men there, who will do anything to get what they want, so be careful and keep an eye out”, Hongjoong said, looking straight at you. That sent a shiver down your spine, making you fear for your life. What if you accidentally walk into one of those men?

Everyone got up out of their seats and left the room, leaving you alone at the table. How were you going to seduce someone you don’t even know? You had to go through with it if you wanted to take them down.

It was almost time to go, and you were checking yourself in the mirror. Your hair and makeup looked perfect, you had your red dress on, as well as heels. You had both your knife and gun hidden underneath your dress, which were strapped to your thighs.

You left your room, the sound of your heels clicking against the floor. You saw the others, who were either cleaning their guns or fixing their suits in a mirror. They all stopped as soon as they saw you, and you were sure you heard them gasp to themselves. Just seeing their reactions made you feel more confident and you loved it.

You all went in separate cars so it will make your presence less suspicious. You, Wooyoung, Yeosang and Yunho were in one car and the rest were in another car. You stared down at the mask you were holding, which was a black masquerade mask with feathers and sequins attached to it. It was a full face mask so when you put it on, hopefully no one will recognise you.

You soon arrived at the party, which was being held in a huge mansion. There was a huge fountain in the middle of the front grounds, and there were flowers planted in the grass which was running round the mansion.

Before you got out of the car, you put your mask on and made sure your in-ear piece was working, which it was thankfully. The door opened, revealing Wooyoung as he held his hand out. You held it, getting out of the car. 

You made your way into the mansion, seeing lots of people already inside. There were so many people, how were you supposed to know who to look for? You discreetly looked around, trying to find who you were supposed to be looking for but it’s difficult when you don’t know what they look like and also because nearly everyone is wearing a mask.

“Hongjoong, who am I supposed to be looking for?” you said, quiet enough so that people can’t hear you but loud enough so that Hongjoong could hear you. “You’ll know once you see them, it’s not hard to miss them”, Hongjoong said into your ear. Well that’s not very helpful, is it? 

You walked off, heading towards the bar to order yourself a drink. “A porn star martini please”, you asked the bartender, and he started making it. You stood there, watching him as he made it. Suddenly, someone walked up next to you, standing beside you. You looked to your right, and even though you couldn’t see his face, you knew he was handsome.

You looked back at the bartender but when the man stood next to you spoke, your eyes widened. “Did you come here alone?” he asked and you whipped your head around to look back at him. The bartender placed your drink in front of you and you picked it up, thanking the bartender.

“If I said I came here alone, I would be lying”, you said, and the man in front of you gently grabbed your free hand, taking you somewhere private. You entered a room which was empty, and he closed the door behind him.

He took his mask off and you let out a gasp. Felix? What was he doing here? You took off your mask and dropped it to the floor. You downed your drink in one go, the shock of seeing Felix hitting you.

Before you even said anything to him, you hugged him. He hugged you back as he wrapped his arms around you, no space between your bodies. He still smelled the same as you took in his cologne, making you smile. You completely forgot the reason you were at the party as you continued hugging him.

You had to pull away though as you remembered the reason why you were there, taking a step back from him. “Felix, why are you here? How did you find me?” you had many questions going through your mind, making you confused. He carefully took a step forward, making sure not to scare you off. Luckily you didn’t move as he stood closer to you. “I know I should have told you sooner but I didn’t want to risk putting you in any danger”, he said, making you furrow your eyebrows. “How do I put this? I’m part of the mafia?” he said, well it sounded more like a question than anything.

“Wait, you’re part of Stray Kids?” you asked, and he nodded. That makes so much sense now. How he always showed up with bruises or cuts on his face and chest, and he told you he got into a fight with someone. You didn’t even question it, fearing that you would make him angry.

“When you didn’t respond to any of my messages or calls, I knew something was wrong. And my instincts were right, you were kidnapped by Ateez”, he said, and you felt a tear run down your cheek. A few minutes later, you heard a voice in your ear. It was Hongjoong. You must have been in the room for a good half an hour.

“y/n, I hope you managed to distract one of the Stray Kids members. I want you to kill him”, Hongjoong said and you scoffed. You didn’t answer him and that made him angry, and the next few words he said made a shiver run down your spine. 

“y/n, if you don’t do as you are ordered in the next few minutes, I won’t hesitate to kill you myself”, he said, and you didn’t even think before taking the in-ear piece out of your ear and dropping it on the floor. You could hear Hongjoong screaming through it, ignoring his hateful words. You were glad you weren’t brainwashed and could still think for yourself as you held Felix’s hand, bringing him closer to you.

“I’m so sorry for making you worry. I had no choice but to join them as if I didn’t, he would have killed me and I didn’t want to die”, you said as you felt yourself well up with tears, and Felix shushed you as he kissed your head. “It’s ok, sweet. I’m just glad that you’re alive. Now, do you have anything to protect yourself with?” he asked and you showed him the knife and gun you had.

“Guys, I have her”, Felix said into his in-ear piece, walking out of the room, still holding your hand. You put your masks back on so no one would recognise you. There was a sudden loud bang and then a bunch of screams, making you stop in your tracks. What are Wooyoung and Yeosang doing?

You ran (trying not to fall over in your heels) to the main hall, Felix trailing behind you. You saw a few bodies lying on the floor, which you presumed were dead bodies. Everyone was screaming, running around like headless chickens. You felt someone run up behind you, making you scream as you felt a hand on your shoulder. 

“Hey, y/n, calm down. It’s only Hyunjin”, Felix said, nodding at Hyunjin. “I want you to take y/n somewhere safe”, Felix said to Hyunjin as you looked between the two. Hyunjin held your hand gently, his big hand engulfing your small one.

“No, I’m not going anywhere. If you go down, we go down together”, you said as you held Felix’s hand. You let go of their hands to take your mask off, throwing it to the floor. They also did the same before reaching for their gun. You ran forward, dodging people who nearly bumped into you.

You were face to face with Jongho, and you just stared at each other. He wasn’t wearing his mask anymore, and he had blood smeared on his face. His hands were covered in blood, and you were sure that wasn’t his blood.

He smirked before charging at you, and you were glad that you knew how to fight otherwise you were screwed. You ran forward and did a front flip, wrapping your legs around his neck and knocking him to the ground. You grabbed your knife and stabbed him in the arm, earning a scream from him.Your legs were wrapped tightly around him, ensuring he couldn’t budge. He hit your legs numerous times, trying to get you off him.

“I might have been part of your team for a while but you didn’t brainwash me. How many innocent people have you killed, huh? I thought you only went after bad people, people who abused others and did awful shit. Turns out you’re the bad guys, not Stray Kids”, you said before quickly reaching for your gun, pointing it at Jongho’s head and pulling the trigger. You got off him, his dead body lying on the floor as blood started pooling out of his head.

You walked away from his body, the main target on your mind being Hongjoong. You wanted to make him suffer, for ripping you away from your friends and family. You wanted to make his death slow and painful. You were filled with rage and hatred for the man. You can’t believe you thought they were doing good when in reality, they were the bad guys the entire time.

You heard jingling and you looked up, seeing the chandelier above you getting ready to fall. Not even a few seconds later, the chandelier came crashing down. Luckily you managed to get out of the way in time, jumping out of the way as your body hit the ground. The chandelier hit the ground with a loud bang, destroying the wooden floor.

You figured you weren’t going to get very far in your heels so you took them off, deciding to go barefoot instead. You saw Hyunjin and Felix fighting people, who were shouting at other guys, who you assumed were the rest of Stray Kids.

You got up off the floor, and headed towards the stairs, hoping that Hongjoong was up there. You checked in different rooms, to see if he was hiding in one of them. You turned a corner, and you felt yourself being thrown against the wall.

“What the fuck?” you said, groaning as the back of your head hit the wall. You opened your eyes, seeing Yunho gripping your shoulders. He towered over you, the top of your head barely reaching his chin. “Get off me”, you said, trying to push him away, but he wouldn’t budge. 

You kneed him in the crotch, making him hunch over. You pushed him and kicked him in the stomach before smacking his face into the wall next to you. He groaned in pain and tried to grab you but you were quicker, jumping on his back and grabbed his hair. You grabbed your knife with your free hand and stabbed him in the neck. He fell to the ground with you still on top of him, Yunho holding the side of his neck to try and stop the blood from pouring out. But it was no use as his body went limp.

You stepped over his body, and that’s when you noticed a part of your dress was ripped. God damn it, that dress was expensive. Oh well, you’ll just have to deal with it. You continued looking in every room, but you couldn’t find him. Where is the bastard hiding? 

You went back downstairs since you couldn’t find him upstairs, maybe he was somewhere downstairs. As soon as you got to the bottom step, you saw more dead bodies lying on the floor. You’ve never seen so many dead bodies in your life. Many of those could have been innocent and wanted to enjoy the party. You saw Yeosang in the distance who had his back to you, and you didn’t even think as you aimed your gun at him, hoping to hit him straight in the back. You just hope he doesn’t move. You pulled the trigger, the bullet flying through the air at high velocity. Before the bullet could reach Yeosang, Wooyoung jumped in front of him, the bullet piercing Wooyoung’s shoulder as he let out a scream. Both of them fell to the ground, Wooyoung holding his shoulder. Wooyoung came out of nowhere and you weren’t expecting that.

You kept shooting at them as they ran away, disappearing as they turned a corner. You looked around the room, trying to see if you could see Felix or Hyunjin, but you couldn’t find them as you started to panic. Suddenly you felt someone tackle you from behind, pushing you to the ground.

“You fucking bitch”, it was Seonghwa who tackled you, and if looks could kill, you would be dead in an instant. He hit you across the face, and he was wearing rings so the metal cut your face, blood trickling down your nose. He hit you again and again, and then he proceeded to wrap his hands around your throat, making you gasp for air.

You struggled under him, hitting his arms to try and get him off you, kicking your feet. You felt yourself losing consciousness quickly, preparing for the worst. Seonghwa was soon pulled off you, and you could finally breathe again, coughing as you held your throat. 

“Don’t fucking touch her”, it was Felix who pulled him off you. He pointed his gun at Seonghwa’s forehead and pulled the trigger, his body soon dropping to the floor. Felix helped you up, checking to see if you had any major injuries. A couple of guys ran up to the both of you, and their faces were bruised and bloody.

“You must be y/n, hello”, one of the guys said as he awkwardly waved to you. You waved back to him as you continued to rub your throat. “Jeongin, Seungmin, you guys ok?” Felix asked his gang mates. You awkwardly stood there while they talked, not knowing what to do. You looked around and that’s when you saw Hongjoong coming out of a room, on the phone with someone.

“Kim Hongjoong, I’m going to fucking murder your ass”, you shouted at him and you ran over to him. He grabbed his gun, pointing it straight at you, making you freeze. “Don’t come any closer or I will shoot”, he said, gripping his gun. He held his phone out and on the screen it had a red button on it. 

“What the fuck did you do?” you asked, referring to the button. He chuckled darkly before speaking, “I rigged this place with explosives and by pressing this button, this place gets destroyed”, he said as he continued chuckling. You looked back at Felix with fear evident on your face. The rest of his gang mates were now with him, and they were all holding their guns.

Wooyoung, Yeosang, San and Mingi had turned up, and they were confused about where the rest of their members were. “What the fuck did you do to Jongho, Yunho and Seonghwa?!” Hongjoong shouted to you, and now it was your turn to chuckle. “Don’t worry about them, you need to worry about yourselves now”, you said before making a quick move, grabbing your knife and throwing it straight at Hongjoong’s hand, knocking his phone out of his hand. Luckily the phone didn’t land on the screen, the button facing upwards.

You charged at Hongjoong, dodging all of his punches. You kicked him in the stomach, making him trip backwards, but he managed to steady himself. He swung his arm, making you duck and grab his arm, throwing him to the ground. You grabbed his arm with both hands, snapping it in half, Hongjoong letting out a blood curdling scream.

In the background, Wooyoung’s, Yeosang’s, San’s and Mingi’s bodies were lying on the floor, a bullet wound in the middle of their foreheads. Hongjoong thrashed around on the floor, the bone of his elbow showing from where you broke his arm. 

“Not so tough and scary now, are you?” you said as you stared down at him with a smirk. He tried to get up, using his good arm to push himself up. You saw a shotgun on the floor and picked it up, aiming the shotgun at his legs, and pulled the trigger. The bottom half of his legs got blown off as he let out another scream of agony. 

“Now stay down”, you said, dropping the shotgun on the floor. You walked over to where his phone is and picked it up, staring at the button. You walked over to Felix and pulled him in for a kiss, which only lasted for a few seconds. The 9 of you walked away, heading towards the exit. 

“DON’T WALK AWAY FROM ME Y/N!” Hongjoong shouted but you ignored his shouts and cries, walking out of the building. When you were far enough away from the building, you pressed the button on the phone, the building blowing up, pieces of the building flying in different directions, the loud bang ringing in your ears. You looked at Felix and he looked back at you, smiling at you. You were glad to be back with him, and you never felt so glad about killing someone. Hopefully by joining Stray Kids, you will bring peace to Seoul and protect innocent civilians instead of killing them, which is what Ateez did. You also have a new family who will treat you kindly and not want to kill you, which made you happy.

[hxnxjisxng]

Ateez reaction to seeing you dancing sexy in a club:

Hongjoong:

-He would love it

-As soon as he saw you he would come dance with you

-Hongjoong would come up behind you and start dancing up against you

-“Baby do you know what you are doing to me?”

-You are in for a long night

Seonghwa:

-you wanted him to notice

-It made him jealous to see you dancing like that in public

-You were his and he wanted everyone to know that

-He would come up to you and whisper in your ear

-“I think it’s time for us to go home sweetheart”

Yunho:

-Shy baby would be shocked

-He has never seen this side of you before in public

-He didn’t know if he should go dance with you

-or if he should just keep watching

-His face would get bright red

Yeosang:

-We all know deep down this boy is kinky as hell

-So when he saw you dancing sexy

-all he could think about is what he was going to do to you want you and him got home

-lets just say you and him weren’t there much longer

-“Babygirl I think we should get out of here now”

San:

-Soft baby would come dance with you

-He would be a little shy at first

-But would warm up very fast

-“baby we should do this more often”

Mingi:

-He wouldn’t directly see you dancing at first

-He would be trying time find you and see a guy staring at something and he followed his eyes to you

-He would walk straight over to you and start dancing with you

-To show them you were his and only his

Wooyoung:

-As soon as he noticed you

-He would be on his way to join you

-Wooyoung was not gonna let his sexy ass girlfriend dance alone

-And risk her being mistaken as single

-“Mind if I join you babygirl?”

Jongho:

-This shy boys face would turn red when he sees you

-He thought about joining you but didn’t want the boys to tease him about it

-He decided to watch from afar

-Once he met eyes with you all of his worries went away

-He made his way over to tell you how great you looked and to dance with you

Requests are open and I’m finally back to posting:)

[songsoomin]

Begin Again Part 1 (A, F)

Word count: Around 10k

Idol! Jongho x Fem Reader, Best friend! Hongjoong. Reader has serious body confidence issues due to a past relationship but Jongho will help her through it. First two chapters will be angst with some fluff but a little smut will appear in chapter 3.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, both emotional and psychological, body shaming, anxiety issues. 

Authour’s note: Reader is overweight but not as massive as she thinks she is. She has been conditioned through psychological abuse to believe she is very fat and unattractive. This is not intended to be the kind of story where reader becomes thin and is then happy and gets male attention (although, due to reader’s warped sense of self she does equate being thin with being happy). Even after losing some weight (for her own health and happiness) she is still somewhat overweight and curvy but the more important part is that she gets her confidence back and that is what makes her happier and more attractive. 

Part 2 Part 3

Posted 16th October 2020

This was a bad idea, you were sure of it. Meeting new people never worked out well for you and you could already feel the anxiety creeping up on you. But Hongjoong was with you, he had told you he'd look after you and you trusted him - not something that came easily to you, these days. Still, the little voice in your head kept telling you you were stupid to think anyone would like you.

As you both approached the restaurant you froze, pulling him to a stop with you.

"Hongjoong...I'm not sure I can do this." You looked at him, clearly nervous.

"Y/N. I know it's a lot of people to meet at once but they're the best bunch of guys you could ever meet - and I'll be here with you the whole time."

"Okay." You were still skeptical that they would like you - great guys or not. The problem wasn't them...it was you.

In school Hongjoong had been one of your closest friends but you fell out of touch with him when your lives started taking different paths. Looking back at the last few years you had actually lost touch with almost every friend you had - a byproduct of the toxic relationship you had been in - and now your self-esteem was so low that it felt too scary for you to make any new ones.

You had run into Hongjoong while shopping some months ago and he had asked you to have a coffee with him. He could see you were very different to how he remembered you and asked how you had been. It was a particularly difficult time for you and you couldn't keep it all in anymore. You broke down in front of him, frantically apologising for burdening him with all this. You were sure he was going to think you were crazy and you'd never hear from him again...but he stuck around. He kept texting, asking you to meet just to make sure you were okay and, gradually, he pursuaded you that you deserved better than how you were being treated. That your boyfriend was abusing you...even if he wasn't physically hurting you. It was psychological and emtional. You had lived walking on eggshells all the time - what was fine one day would cause him to get angry and lash out at you the next - or to spend days ignoring you completely. You never knew what to do or say to please him. Hongjoong helped you gain the strength to leave him and promised to help you start afresh.

So here he was, trying to get you back out into the world and make some friends because, if left to your own devices, the depression would make you sit inside your flat all alone, convincing you not to try in case you get hurt again.

The restaurant wasn't too crowded, which was good because you weren't comfortable around lots of people. Your red-haired best friend led you to a big table occupied by seven of the most attractive men you had ever seen and you froze up again.

You don't belong here.

The mean voice in your head taunted you.

Look at these guys...they're perfect and you're just...well, a fat mess.

You tried to ignore the voice as Hongjoong introduced you to all of them,

"Guys, this is my friend Y/N that I told you about. Y/N this is...." He reeled off all their names but you knew you wouldn't remember them all. You just tried to match names to the various hair colours, hoping it would be easier that way. They all greeted you warmly, Hongjoong pulled a chair out for you next to the big, blue haired one - Yunho - and sat on your other side. He was right, they were all very friendly and a few of them very loud.

"Y/N, how old are you? Can I talk comfortably?" You think the one who asked this was called Wooyoung, he was the loudest by far. Cute, with short black hair, parted in the middle but it had a dark bluish tinge in the light. His laugh was so high-pitched you thought your ear drums would burst before the end of the meal.

"What do you do, Y/N? Do you work or go to college?" Seonghwa was next, he was so attractive you almost forgot how to form coherent sentences. Big, dark eyes, a beautiful smile and darkish-blonde hair that almost covered his eyes. He seemed the most mature of the lot and looked a bit intense sometimes - he was a little intimidating, really.

"What kind of music do you listen to? What kind of fashion do you like? Your trainers are really cool." The big one with brown hair threw questions at you next. He was dressed really well so you guessed he must like clothes a lot. He was big, like Yunho but he didn't look so friendly, at first. You thought he might be a bit cold when he was just sitting there but when he smiled it lit up his face. He was easily the cutest, despite his size.

"I'm not into clothes much...I just wear whatever, really."

Yeah, whatever you can find to fit you - which isn't much. You look awful in everything.

I mean, he has eyes...he can see how fat you are. Does he really think you can wear the new fashions in the shops? They're all made for skinny girls, after all.

You tried your best to block out the voice because you knew he was just being friendly but the voice was always there reminding you how awful you were. Making you feel even worse.

Even before you had become withdrawn you had never been outgoing - always shy and only talking to people once they'd spoken to you first - but now outgoing people were so opposite to you they actually made you feel a little uncomfortable and you couldn't help shying away from them.

Hongjoong recognised it - probably because you were clinging on to his sleeve - and asked them to tone it down.

"Guys...stop bombarding Y/N with so many questions. You really are a bit too much sometimes." He chided, although affectionately.

They got the message and switched to general conversation after a chorus of sorries. You calmed a bit once you weren't the centre of attention, just enjoying their chatter and the way they were with each other. They had a closeness you'd never experienced yourself with friends. You had been good friends with Hongjoong but, as far as girlfriends went, you'd always felt left on the outside.

You'd had some bad experiences and knew that girls could be very mean. In the past some had pretended to like you but talked shit about you behind your back. Sometimes you'd feel you were left out on purpose - once even listening to girlfriends plan a night out, knowing you were there but not inviting you. These kind of things happened more than once, with different groups, so in the end you decided it was you. You must be unlikeable in some way. It was after that you became friends with Hongjoong and his friends in the last two years of school, prefering the honesty of boys. They weren't usually two-faced and bitchy like the girls. In your experience, if a boy didn't like you he would either tell you or show it in some other way.

That was why you had agreed to come out with Hongjoong today, you felt more comfortable with boys and you knew he was a good judge of character. If this had been a table of girls you'd have been way too scared to come...and god knows what that voice would be saying to you now. Most of the girls he knew were idols like him - and it was fair to say you were on the larger side - so the inferiority complex you'd develop sitting with girls that thin and pretty didn't bear thinking about.

Despite your discomfort you were truly enjoying being with the group and litening to their stories and friendly jibes. It's hard being around a group of friends who have a long history because they will talk about their shared experiences but they were all kind enough to explain the stories to you and include you as much as they could. You appreciated their kindness.

They're probabbly getting sick of you by now...having to explain everything. You're just an incovenience to everyone. I bet they wish you weren't here.

The waiter came over to take the order and you asked for a diet Pepsi.

"Diet?" Yeah, right. They're probably laughing at you for ordering a diet when you look like you don't even know the meaning of the word. One look at you and they can see you don't do 'diet' anything.

The voice was often stronger in your mind when you were already anxious or in an uncomfortable situation. Right now it was really being mean. You also ordered something relatively light and healthy to eat and that spurred the voice on more.

Really? You know they can see you, right? They won't think you usually eat this way. You're not that fat because you've been eating salads.

You tried your best to drown it out and just listen to the guys' chatter again. You knew you'd probably still be hungry after so you'd eat back at home.

Yeah...too much. Like always.

You knew in your heart that they wouldn't think you ate that healthily normally but you didn't like eating in front of others. Other peope judged you for how you looked, what you ate. You'd rather they inwardly laughed at you for trying to pretend you were healthy than look at a fat girl eating junk food and be more disgusted.

The thought brought back old memories of the daily nagging your ex subjected you to...

"Y/N? Do you really think you should be eating that? You eat far too much."

"When are you going to start losing some weight?"

"Don't you think you've had enough?"

"A salad would probably be better for you than that."

"I just think you should get rid of that dress. It makes you look awful."

"I'm not trying to upset you but I just want you to be as attractive and beautiful as you used to be. Everyone knows fat isn't sexy."

He never outright called you names or said things anyone would consider insulting so it was difficult to see that what he was doing was emotional abuse. What he did was gradually strip you of any shred of self-confidence. Everyday the things he said were carefully designed to remind you that you weren't as thin as you were when you met him and therefore you weren't good enough. There were certain clothes he disliked because they didn't flatter your size as well as others and if you wore any of those he would withold hugs and affection. You could see him purposefully not looking in your direction anytime you were changing because seeing you naked was so repulsive to him. But he didn't leave you to find someone better. He carried on gradually demeaning you, trying to force you into becoming what he wanted you to be. He thought if he made you feel bad enough, you would eat better and go to the gym but it didn't work that way. Your self-worth became so wrapped up in what you looked like that you began hating yourself. You couldn't go to the gym because people would laugh at you. You stopped going on nights out with friends because you hated how you looked in everything you owned and didn't want people looking at you. Laughing because the fat girl thought she could make herself look good by putting on some make up and a nice dress. It was logical to think that if you didn't like your weight you could just eat better but the depression kept you down and just made you eat more. A vicious circle. The more you ate the more you hated yourself until you just got used to it. You might have got rid of him but the voice remained, constantly demeaning and mocking you.

You were close to tears now but didn't want to embarrass yourself further so you made an excuse to leave the table.

"Joong, I'm just going to the bathroom."

"Okay." You'd learned in the previous months that Hongjoong could always see through you but everyone was around so he didn't comment on it. He knew you wouldn't want anyone else to see you were upset. You appreciated his sensitivity but how he also wouldn't let you bottle things up until they were really hurting you too much. You knew it was his mature and caring nature that made him perfect as the group's leader.

You calmed yourself down and went back out before anyone would wonder why you'd been gone too long.

You think anyone but Hongjoong would even notice you were gone?

When you got back to the table they were all still engrossed in conversation but Hongjoong lightly squeezed your hand under the table and Yunho broke off to talk to you. A few seats away another boy smiled at you shyly, noticing your return. You hadn't spoken to him directly and he seemed one of the quietest of the group. He had light brown hair and a cute smile. You wouldn't have thought he was the youngest because he was a bit stockier than the rest and seemed more mature than Wooyoung and Mingi but he called each of them 'Hyung' so you guessed he must be. In any event, he had seemed to notice when you returned so maybe the voice wasn't always right. You felt hopeful but you also knew how quickly hopes could be crushed. You guessed you'd just have to see how this went.

As the meal went on you really were enjoying yourself but couldn't get rid of the fear of judgement completely, despite how nice they seemed. You felt so self-conscious as you ate in front of them that you took tiny bites and didn't even finish it all. You noticed the same boy - who you'd now learned was called Jongho - looking over at you every now and then and it made you feel a bit anxious.

He's probably judging you. He's clearly very fit and active, whereas, you get no exercise and clearly eat too much...what must he think?

You tried your best to shove it to the back of your mind and enjoy the afternoon.

You had had fun but were glad once you got home, where you could relax and know no one was watching or judging you. You went to the freezer and took out a full tub of ice cream, ready to eat the whole thing by yourself. Food used to comfort you - something you'd learned a long time ago and had now become a habit - but these days you didn't get the same feeling. Eating had become robotic, almost. You picked up food even when you weren't really hungry and, although you still enjoyed the taste and the action of eating, you couldn't say you paid much attention anymore and the whole tub would be gone before you knew it. You thought it might be like drugs, where you needed more all the time to get the same fix. Or maybe it was just that you'd had to disassociate from your feelings that you didn't get the same pleasure you once got because inside you were actually ashamed of yourself and, as long as you weren't feeling anything, you wouldn't feel that either.

You did want to change because, if nothing else, you knew overeating wasn't healthy. It wasn't that you thought people needed to be thin to be beautiful because you knew beauty was subjective and came in all forms but you knew you were much happier in yourself when you were slimmer. How much of that was due to the mistreatment from your ex-boyfriend, it was impossible to know. Maybe if he had embraced you as you were you could be happy at whatever size without hating yourself but it was done now.

You weren't completely sure why you felt ashamed of yourself because you never judged other people for not being thin. You could only imagine that it was another side-effect of the emotional abuse. He was always gaslighting...making it seem like it was your fault.

“I'm only trying to help...don't you want to look good?”

"You know how unhappy it makes me. Don't you care about saving our relationship? If you did you'd be down at the gym doing something about it."

If you ever tried to point out how his behaviour made you feel or how he could change how he treated you so you were happier together he just turned it back on you.

"I'm not the one who needs to change. The only problem in our relationship is your size so it's you that needs to fix it."

Deep down you knew that wasn't true, though. His behaviour wasn't right and shaming someone was not an incentive for self-improvement. On the contrary, it only made you eat more but now you did it in secret where you couldn't be seen and, therefore, couldn't be judged. At least until they could see the results of your overeating.

                                                     ********

A few days later you and Hongjoong were watching a few more episodes of the Netflix drama you'd started together in your apartment. You'd just finished the second and were having a break to get more drinks before beginning the third when he seemed to remember something.

"Oh, Y/N! I forgot to tell you...the guys all said they like you. Said it was nice to meet someone new, for a change."

You leaned back against the kitchen side, abandoning the hunt for drinks for a moment, "What do you mean?"

"Well...we get so few chances to meet anyone who isn't part of our industry or who isn't a fan." Hongjoong continued on, lifting himself up onto the opposite counter-top. "The people in our industry are like us where they don't get to do much real-life stuff so mostly we end up talking about idol life and work. We adore our fans and love getting to meet them but it is still a big part of being an idol so it's nice when we meet someone not linked to that at all."

"Really?" You asked. You liked hearing about Hongjoong's life but never pressed him for too much information. He did talk about it but was usually more concerned with how you were doing. You'd never pressed him too much about being an idol because you wanted him to be able to be himself with you and talk about whatever he wanted.

"Yeah, it's nice for us to have friends who we can talk to about other things and get some time to switch off from work. That's probably why they bombarded you with questions the other day." He laughed thinking about it and you had to join in. Hongjoong had such a bright smile that it made you happy just seeing it. You knew he used a lot of his free time trying to help you mend yourself and you had worried he'd get sick of your drama but it felt like a relief to know he liked the distraction.

He'll get sick of you one day. He may be helping you now but he'll soon realise you're not worth it.

"I really liked meeting them, too. It was a bit overwhelming at first but they seemed just as nice as you said they were. Thanks, Joong, I had fun for once." You smiled at your red-haired best friend, still sitting up on the counter.

"They liked you, too...they even suggested I bring you over to the dorm sometime."

"They liked me? I thought they'd have seen how boring I am. I'm too quiet and shy."

Hongjoong sighed, "Y/N...you are a wonderful person and being shy doesn't make you boring. You're different to the other kinds of people we know and that is refreshing."

You looked down at your hands awkwardly, not used to hearing anything good about yourself from anyone but your parents and they had to say nice things about you - they were biased.

"It's understandable that you're reserved around new people given what you've been through. That arsehole made you feel like you're not worth anything and you've nothing to offer anyone but it's just not true. I've got to know you again and once you let me in I could see how great you are. You're funny and caring and they'll see it soon, as well, if you let them."

"Stop it Joong, you know how uncomfortable compliments make me." You said, blushing.

Hongjoong hopped down from the counter and slung an arm around your shoulder, "That's because you don't believe any of it yet and I'm not going to stop until you do."

"Thanks, Joong...I don't know where I'd be without you."

                                                      ********

You stood outside the door to the boys' dorm, anxiety flaring. Slowly you took some deep breaths in an attempt to calm yourself. Hongjoong had told you they had liked you and wanted to see you again but you still doubted it.

Over time you had come to believe that people never really liked you - you weren't worth it. You were too quiet and boring, not attractive enough so what did you really have to offer? Thinking this way meant that you had trouble believing Hongjoong even though you knew he was a good person and wouldn't lie to you. He could've been mistaken, though.

They probably just told him they liked you because you're his friend and they didn't want to hurt his feelings.  

But he said they had suggested I come over...so that can't be true. You told the nasty voice in your head and hoped you were right. Finally feeling a little more calm you knocked timidly on the door.

Jeez...even your knock is boring.

You heard a small comotion on the other side of the door before you heard the click of the door opening.

"Guys, stop crowding! She doesn't want you all in her face straight away."

As Hongjoong opened the door with a sigh you saw three of his members standing behind him looking excited and you had to laugh a little. Thankfully you remembered their names - Yunho was easy because he had blue hair and you remembered San and Wooyoung as they had been the ones to talk to you most at the restaurant.

"Hi." You felt a little overwhelmed again but not as much as last time. True, it was a new environment and those added to your anxiety but the three guys seemed genuinely pleased to see you again so you felt much more comfortable already.

"Hi, Y/N!" Hongjoong greeted you with a hug, then, turning to the other three commanded,

"Guys...give Y/N some room to breathe before you attack her."

San looked slightly forlorn, like a small child who's dad just told him he couldn't go out to play yet and you smiled because he just looked so cute.

Wooyoung, however, ignored Hongjoong completely.

"Y/N, what kind of pizza topping do you like? We're ordering a bunch for all of us."

"Uh, I like Hawaiian best."

"Yes! I knew someone else but me must like pineapple on pizza."

The tall brown haired one, Mingi you thought, yelled from his spot on the sofa with a tone that said 'I told you so' to the others.

"Fine," Wooyoung replied, "You and Y/N can share that one and the rest of us will get the usual order."

Mmmm, pizza. That'll help you to not be a massive fat cow. The voice chimed in sarcastically and you sighed.

"Are you okay?" Yunho asked, bringing you out of your own thoughts.

"Oh...yeah, I'm fine."

"Let's get you a drink. We got Pepsi, Fanta, juice...."

You followed Yunho to the kitchen while he carried on talking to you and asking how you had been. He was really easy to talk to and, although he seemed like he could be quite hyper and chaotic - especially with Mingi, as you witnessed at the restaurant - he also seemed to have a more perceptive side, like he could read how people were feeling. You appreciated how he was chatting with you more calmly, without making you feel overwhelmed by attention.

You made your way into the living area of their dorm and looked around. Not all the boys had been there to greet you when you came in, which was good as it meant you didn't have the focus of eight people on you all at once.

Yeosang, the quietest of the group, was sitting on the couch by Mingi and he smiled and said "Hi." when you came over and took a seat on the other couch. Mingi, happy to have found someone who let him order pineapple pizza started chatting to you, asking if you wanted to watch a movie or play games first. They seemed to have the evening planned out but it was nice he was asking what you wanted to do - it made you feel included.

Seonghwa was getting snacks together in the kitchen and when he brought them out to the living room the boys all descended on him like they were starving. He tutted, grumbling about how uncivilised they were but you could see the affection he held for them. Hongjoong had told you Seonghwa was the oldest so you presumed he took on more of a caring role like Joong did.

Jongho was the last to enter, coming from down the hall where their bedrooms must be. He paused slightly when he saw you there and gave you a small smile. You weren't really sure what that meant. He didn't seem as pleased to see you as the others but didn't seem unhappy either...more awkward, maybe. Hongjoong had been trying to help you stop and think through the negative thoughts you had and to actively think kinder thoughts about yourself so you tried not to think it was anything personal, like you normally would. Maybe Jongho was just awkward around new people like you were.

As you were contemplating that you reached for your drink on the coffee table, completely missing the target but managing to knock the glass over, spilling all the liquid inside over the table and the floor.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I'll get something to wipe it up!"

You rushed frantically to the kitchen looking for paper towels or a cloth to clean the spill but Seonghwa was already on the case and getting everything he needed for the job.

"It's okay, Y/N, I'll get it."

"I should clean it, it was my fault." You mentally kicked yourself for not being careful enough.

"You're our guest, it's fine. Don't worry." Seonghwa said with a kind smile.

A memory of your ex looking at you with disgust played through your mind...

"You're so useless. You can't do anything right.”

"I'm sorry, it was just an accident."

"It's only ever me who cares about keeping this place clean - you just go around messing things up. You'd probably be just as happy living in a pigsty. At least that would suit you more."

 You must've looked like you were on the verge of an anxiety attack as Hongjoong came over and placed his arm around your shoulders.

"It's okay, Y/N. Breathe."

"I'm sorry, Joong. I should've been more careful. I'm just so clumsy."

"Y/N..." He faced you with a hand on each of your shoulders and looked you straight in the eye, "No one is upset about this. It happens, don't worry."

Seonghwa was already done cleaning up the spill and wiping the area down with a wet cloth so it didn't get sticky. He smiled as he passed you on his way back to the kitchen. You peeked past Hongjoong to the others and no one looked angry or annoyed at your clumsiness...just a little confused at the exchange between Hongjoong and yourself.

They're probably wondering what kind of crazy person they've let into their dorm by now.

"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom." You moved quickly to avoid the curious gaze of the others while Hongjoong called out,

"It's the last door on the left."

Once locked in the bathroom you sat on the lid of the toilet, head in your hands and trying not to let all the panic take over you. You thought it might help to splash cold water on your face except you had make up on.

It doesn't help, though. You might look slightly better with make up on but you'll still look ugly.

At least that's what the voice tells you each time you try to make yourself look more presentable. You might not think you're that attractive in make up but you sure as hell know you look like crap without it.

"Aren't you going to wear make up today?"

"We're only going to see your mother...I'm sure she doesn't care if I don't have any make up on."

"It doesn't seem like you care about how you look either."

That was just one of the many snide comment your ex would make if you didn't feel like wearing make up every now and then. Comments that let you know that he would only find you acceptable with make up and nice clothes.

Sometimes it was something like, "Well, if you don't want to make an effort for me..." that made you feel like you didn't love him enough, that you didn't care if he was happy with you. You'd always end up either going back to put on make up to make him happy or spending the day with him virtually ignoring you just so you knew just how displeased he was with how you looked.

You took a few deep breaths and sighed, forcing yourself up and out the bathroom because it wouldn't do any good to hide in here. That would make them all think you really were a crazy mess.

You paused as you walked down the hall upon hearing one of the guys ask, "Is Y/n okay? Her reaction to spilling her drink was a bit...odd."

"Uh...it's not really my place to say but...it's because of her ex. He wasn't good to her. In fact, he was quite cruel a lot of the time."

There was a pause as you listened but then noises of disgust came from some the boys.

"Oh my god!"

"What a bastard!"

"But she's so sweet...how could he do that?"

"I know." Hongjoong said, "She's come a long way but don't bring it up, please. I don't want her more upset."

You smiled, Hongjoong was the one who was so sweet. He really was your rock and the only one you'd ever really opened up to about it all. Your parents knew your ex wasn't always good to you but you hadn't wanted to upset them by telling them how badly he treated you. Whenever you had been around them or his parents he had been the master of pretending your relationship was great and showing how much he 'loved' you.

As you walked back into sight, the guys went back to chatting or looking at their phones. Mingi and Jongho were arguing over what movie to watch. Jongho wanted horror but Mingi was outright refusing.

Only Joong and Seonghwa took notice of your return as you walked over to them in the kitchen.  

"Sorry for making you clean up my mess, Seonghwa."

Seonghwa looked at you with a smile - he really was painfully attractive.

"Y/N...Joong and I live with six massive children. You think these boys aren't constantly making a mess for me to clean up?"

"Okay, I suppose..." You laughed, "...but I'm still sorry that I made you."

"It's nothing, really."

Seonghwa quietly exited the kitchen, leaving you alone with your best friend.

"You okay now?" He asked, concerned.

"Yeah. Just my normal reaction to messing up."

"You don't have to live like that anymore, Y/N." You felt Hongjoong's arms wrap around you comfortingly.  "It was his reactions that weren't normal. No one deserves to be made to feel like shit every day and certainly not over silly things like a spilled drink or forgetting to put something away."

You let out a big breath and relaxed into Hongjoong's embrace. Once he felt you had calmed down properly he spoke again.

"Do you wanna go join the guys again? The pizza must almost be here."  

                                                    ********

"You can't do that, Woo!" You exclaimed.

"I can! I've always played like that." the dark-haired boy retorted.

"That is not how you play. I'm not having it." You replied, setting your cards down and picking your phone up to Google the official rules of Uno.

"Y/N, I've been trying to tell him this for six years but we always end up arguing." Yeosang said wearily.

"Yeah." Yunho added, "That's why we never play Uno anymore."

You found the official Uno page and read over the rules until you found what you were after.

"When a person places this card the next player will have to pick up two cards and forfeit their turn." You read word-for-word off the screen. "You have to pick up two cards. You can't just put another plus two card and make me pick up four!"

"Well...that's not how I play." Wooyoung replied stubbornly but you could be just as stubborn.

"Okay then...I just won't play with you if you cheat."

Wooyoung gasped dramatically at the implication of cheating while the others all laughed at your childish interaction.

It felt so good having fun for a change. Spending time with people who seemed to genuinely like you and have fun with you, too. People who weren't constantly looking out for any mistakes you made so they could make you feel like shit.

You'd spent quite a few evenings at the dorm with Hongjoong and the boys and you were slowly starting to relax around them - enough to start arguing over game rules, certainly, but you still had a lot of doubt. Despite your last relationship you still had a tendency to trust too easily because you were desperate for warmth and friendship. The voice in your head had taken the place of your ex, constantly telling you you weren't good enough, that no one could ever want you, you weren't funny or pretty or interesting in any way. So, even though it had the potential to destroy all the progress you'd made so far, you felt yourself trusting them more and more because they seemed so nice and kind. They appeared to accept you for who you were and not judge your looks or size. Laughing at how you and Woo were playfully arguing it appeared like they really liked having you around. You just hoped the voice was wrong and you weren't setting yourself up for more pain when you found out they were just pretending to like you for Hongjoong's sake.

                                                      ********

You were sitting on the couch in the boys' dorm for another evening of a Netflix series and pizza - Yeosang and Jongho had won the battle this time, it was a horror and Mingi was not happy. Despite your original impression of him being big and intimidating he was actually just a big baby who loved affection just as much as you and right now he was holding on to your hand and squeezing his eyes shut every time the music that signalled something bad was about to happen started playing. You couldn't blame him, though, you were holding his hand just as tight and watching the tv through half-closed eyes so you could shut them quicker if something scary did appear on the screen. Your best friend, Hongjoong, was sitting on your other side, hand lightly resting on your leg in a comforting way because he knew you didn't like scary programmes.

"I still enjoy the storylines even if they do scare me." You'd told him after the episode ended, when he asked you why you still wanted to watch them.

"Do you want the last slice, Y/N?" Mingi asked, holding up the pizza box from the Hawaiian you'd shared again.

"I really shouldn't." You sighed, "You have it."

"What do you mean?" The tall brown-haired boy asked, confused.

"Well..it's alright for you guys to eat a lot because you all dance all day and work it off. You don't get fat from it. I'm just getting bigger and bigger so I need to lose some weight."

"That's stupid." San said, matter-of-factly, "There's nothing wrong with how you are."

You knew San meant well and didn't judge you but when he said 'how you are' it just cemented in your head that 'how you were' wasn't good at all. It was the same as being told you look good 'for your size' - if you weren't overweight he would surely have just said there's nothing wrong with you.

"Thanks, San but I don't feel like I'm fine like this." You said feeling awkward as everyone was looking at you now.

"I can teach you to dance, if you like. It's really good exercise." Yunho offered.

You know their practice room is upstairs, right? You'd probably go through the floor. The voice in your head mocked you.

"You do not want to see me trying to dance." You grimaced at the thought of your clumsy, uncoordinated body lumbering around a practice room.

"You could always come to the gym with me." Jongho said.

It surprised you as Jongho didn't usually talk to you that much and your face must have shown your surprise as he quickly added on, "If you want to, I mean."

From the corner of your eye you saw Wooyoung and Yeosang share a look and smirk and you couldn't help but wonder what that meant. Were they laughing at the thought of you exercising...or how you'd look in gym clothes? You didn't think on it too long, though as Jongho was still waiting, looking awkward.

"I guess?" You answered, except it came out more like a question. "I don't think I'll be very good at it, though. I've never really been to a proper gym."

"That's no problem..." the youngest said excitedly, "I can coach you."

"I don't want to use up all your time, though. You must have other things you want to do and you guys don't get a lot of time off."

"Don't worry, Y/N," Hongjoong told you, "Jongho spends most of his time off at the gym anyway."

"Well...okay then. When do we start?"

                                                    ********

You stood looking at yourself in the mirror, sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt left over from your last failed attempt at losing weight through exercise. You didn't like the way you looked but there was only one way to change that so you would just have to suck it up and go.

On getting to the gym doors you stopped to take a deep breath. It surely wouldn't be that bad but you couldn't help but worry in case people judged you or laughed at you. It didn't make sense for people to laugh because you were at least there making an effort but you'd seen your fair share of larger people being laughed at for exercising and trying to get fitter but you'd long ago realised that people were cruel. You'd be mocked for being bigger but mocked even more for trying to change it.

At least Jongho would be there to support you... Unless... the voice in your head started...

You don't know him that well...what if he thinks it's funny, too? What if he stands you up and you're left here looking stupid all alone? He might even -

'STOP IT!' You shouted silently at the voice in your head, 'You can't keep making me feel this way! Jongho wouldn't have offered to help if he was going to be mean...Hongjoong's friends aren't like that.

You were going to have to overcome this voice if you were ever going to be able to accept yourself and be happy. You knew that but it was easier said than done because these were all your thoughts about yourself and how people thought of you. If someone like your ex was being cruel and saying derogatory things about you, you could cut them out of your life and their voice would be gone but when it's your own 'voice' degrading you...how do you cut your own cruelty out of your life?

You cut that train of thought short as you could see Jongho inside the gym - surrounded by a vast array of intimidating looking machines - and you didn't want to keep him waiting. This wasn't the time for an personal crisis. It was the time, however, to force yourself through those doors and try to take the first steps towards liking yourself again.

"...five...four...three...two...one. You did it!" Jongho exclcimed happily, grinning at you. You were exhausted already because you just weren't used to this type of activity and you knew you were gonna feel it in the morning.

You and Jongho had only done twenty minutes on the treadmill before he had you using the weights. The machines had looked scary and complicated to you but he assured you he would do all the prep work and help you position yourself right. He helped you test out how much you could lift without causing damage as your muscles weren't used to the strain but he said he didn't want it to feel too easy or there would be no benefit.

"Are you sure I shouldn't be using the cardio machines if I need to lose weight?" You asked Jongho uncertainly, "I don't want to build myself up."

"No." The light brown-haired boy answered sounding very sure of himself, "Too much cardio won't help. You need to stress your muscled to make them kick into burning fat effectively. You won't build lots of muscle because you won't be lifting that much and we'll just be doing short high intensity bursts on each different machine but you will tone up."

You looked at him in awe of his knowledge, Hongjoong must be right, Jongho must spend a lot of time here. You looked over his physique as he was talking to you, he was just in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt but it was enought to hint at the muscled he had underneath that were usually hidden under his  normal clothes. You could see that Jongho had a bigger build than the others but you'd not been able to see how well-defined it was before now.

"You'll need to do some cardio before and after, of course, as your warm-up and cool-down or you could damage your muscles...and you don't want that because it could put you out of action for a while and you'll have to build your fitness back up again."

"Oh, okay. Well, you seem to really know what you're doing so just tell me what I have to do and I'll do it."

He seemed pleased at your assessment of his knowledge because he smiled, allbeit with a slight blush - maybe you'd embarrassed him a little. It occurred to you that this was probably the longest you'd ever spoken to Jongho for so maybe it was just the slight awkwardness that still lingered between the two of you.

"Good, then get yourself settled into the bicep curl and we'll continue with your arms."

                                                    ********

"Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two...five...four-"

"Hey!" You cried, "You can't do that!"

"Do what?" Jongho asked innocently.

"You can't go back to five when I just got to one...it's not fair!"

Your 'instructor' laughed a little, "It's a standard training technique. You've been doing so well over the last month that I wanted to increase your reps but if I say do fifteen from the start you'd think it too much."

"I would." You agreed.

"But...if I just add another few on while you're already working you'll just continue - well, that's what most trainers find works." He gave you a questioning look and you wondered what he was thinking.

He's thinking you're a lazy, fat cow who can't see hard work through.

'That's not true!' You answered the nasty voice in your head silently, 'I have been working hard.'

"Okay, I'll try." You we're skeptical but you really wanted to show him you could try hard.

Jongho smiled at you and you couldn't help but want to do your best when he flashed you his cute, gummy grin.

"Great, let's go again! Ten..."

                                                   ********

Your muscles were so tight the next day after Jongho had increased the workload and you groaned lightly as you shifted position on the couch in the boys' dorm.

"You okay, Y/N?" Hongjoong wondered as he heard you grumbling to yourself.

"Oh, it's just my legs. Jongho made me work harder yesterday and my muscles are really achy." You looked over to see said boy looking a bit sheepish.

"I'm really good at deep muscle massages." Jongho was already next to you by the time he'd finished his sentence and reaching for you. Alarm bells instantly went off in your head - you didn't want him to touch you. It was enough that he saw you sweating and looking less than dignified at the gym, you didn't want him to be able to feel your flabby legs, as well.

"No!" You virtually shouted as you pulled your legs up under you so fast, ignoring your muscles' complaints.

"I'm sorry." You said in a small voice as Jongho looked confused and - maybe -a little hurt. The other boys were all looking at you, too, having been surprised by your outburst.

"I just...don't really like people touching me much." The apologetic look was clear on your face as you tried to explain so he knew it was your problem and nothing against him.

"It’s okay, I understand that. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." He smiled slightly but you could still see the hint of hurt on his face.

You felt awful. You didn't want Jongho to feel bad about something that was all you but you didn't know how to make it better so you just smiled apologetically back at him. The night continued on but you couldn't deny it felt a little awkward - especially when you saw Jongho look at you out of the corner of his eye when he noticed you let Hongjoong take your hand to hold while you were all watching TV. The gesture was to comfort you because your best friend knew you well enough to know you'd feel uneasy about the unwanted attention you'd brought on yourself.

Out of the eight boys, physical contact was something you only let Hongjoong do because you trusted him not to judge you. You didn't know them well enough yet and trusting people didn't come easy. Again, though, you had to admit that it was nothing to do with what kind of people they were because they really did seem genuinely lovely people. The problem was completely within you. You thought they'd judge your size because you judged it yourself. Thought they might secretly dislike you because you disliked yourself. Wondered why they wanted to hang around with a boring, unattractive girl like you because that's how you saw yourself. Thought they'd be disgusted if they saw or felt how you looked under the baggy clothes you wore because that's exactly how you felt when you saw or touched yourself. If you couldn't even like yourself, how could anyone else?

                                                    ********

"Jongho..." You panted, struggling to catch your breath, "I can't...do anymore...I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologising?" He asked confused.

"Because I'm failing." Not wanting to meet his eyes you looked down dejectedly. It had been a week since Jongho had increased your workout routine and you were exhausted. You dragged yourself off the treadmill and sat on the seat of the nearest weight machine.

"You're doing great, Y/N."

"No. I'm failing like I do everytime I try to lose weight." You felt tears welling up and were about ready to give up.

You always give up. You're lazy and useless so you might as well do it again.

Jongho frowned and placed one of his hands on each of your shoulders; you went to stand up off the seat and move away from his touch but he wouldn't let you, he was holding you too firmly. He crouched down so he was on your eye level.

"Y/N. Don't be so hard on yourself. This is a really tough workout and...I may have pushed you a little too far."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"I'm really not." He was trying to get you to look at him but you wouldn't. "We've been here almost every day this week and it's probably too much straight after increasing the workload."

"Really?" Looking up you looked Jongho in the eyes trying to guage if he really meant it or was just being kind to you. His dark brown eyes were staring straight back into yours and you could only see sincerity. It made hope swell a little inside you.

"A lot of people think that the more they do, the fitter they will become but if you take on too much at once you will exhaust yourself. If you're struggling, it's probably your body telling you to slow down and allow yourself to rest."

"You think so? I'm not just a massive failure?"

"No." Jongho chuckled.

But you are massive.

"In fact," he continued, "it's me who should be apologising for letting you do too much. You could've hurt yourself."

"It's okay." You smiled, just happy he didn't think you were useless.

"How about we make sure we only do every other day to allow you resting time inbetween. We'll finish up for today and get showered."

"Sure, thanks Jongho."

You were just turning to go shower when you heard him call out to you in a softer voice than normal.

"Uhh...Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to get a coffee or something when were done here?" He looked a little unsure of himself, which was unusual because here in the gym he always seemed very confident.

"Oh...Uh, sure. I guess we could." You felt quite awkward yourself and you realised again that, although you were spending time with Jongho, you weren't really socialising - too busy concentrating on training. Nerves started to rush through you at the thought of trying to have a conversation with just the two of you but he'd been so kind to help you, you didn't want to say no.

Not wanting to keep him waiting you showered as quick as you could and towel dried your hair, leaving it to dry on it's own. You put on the same kind of baggy clothes you always wore and headed out of the women's changing room to meet him.

Your 'training instructor' smiled warmly at you when you walked over. "I know a nice coffee shop not too far from here, we can go there if you like?"

"I'm fine with wherever you want to go."  You told him, smiling shyly.

The two of you walked mostly in silence with just a bit of small talk between you. You weren't sure if Jongho was shy like you or just quieter than the other boys - some of them were so loud they didn't give the others a chance to say much. Maybe he was just the kind of person who didn't feel the need to fill the silence.

Every now and then as you were walking you saw him steal a glance at you from the corner of your eye. You tried not to think it was because he was judging you but that was always your first thought whenever anyone looked at you. You weren't always like this, in fact you used to be confident and get a lot of attention from boys. How you were now was the result of the systematic destructuction of your self-esteem over years. Being constantly told you weren't good enough, attractive enough, thin enough, pretty enough.  Being made to feel like no one else would ever want you. You used to like the attention you got but now whenever anyone looked at you, you were sure it was because they were judging how you'd 'let yourself go', as your ex would so often put it. But you'd been doing well with trying to see the positive side so you dismissed those thoughts because why would he ask you to get coffee if he was embarrasssed to be seen with you?

The cafe was one you'd not seen before and you could already see it was pretty just from the outside. It looked more like an independent shop than part of a large chain with old-style signage and the cafe name in italics.

Jongho held the door open and you walked in to find small tables with a little vase set on each one. Inside each vase was a pink flower which complemented the colour of the cushions on the ornate chairs. There were fairy lights hung aroung the cafe which gave it an almost magical feel.

"Wow, this place is really pretty." You breathed as Jongho led you to a vacant table and held out your chair for you. Shyly you thanked him and sat down on the plush seat. It was just as comfy as it looked.

"What would you like?"

"Oh, no, you don't have to get it - I can pay for mine." Before you could even get your purse out of your bag Jongho had reached out to stop you. His hand was warm on yours and - surprisingly to you - you didn't immediately pull away.

"Please, it's no problem. Let me get it." His tone was soft but you could see from the look in his eyes that he had no intention of letting you pay so you reluctanly gave in.

"Okay, if you must. A hot chocolate, please."

"Cream?"

"No, thanks."

Jongho went to place the order and you sighed, you didn't like other people paying for you, especially if you didn't know them well. You remembered all the times your ex would pay for things but then make you feel bad about it. Complaining that you didn't earn enough and that he had to help you out. You had never asked him to and he didn't need to. It was just another way for him to belittle you and make you feel worthless.

As you waited for Jongho you thought about your 'realtionship' with him. At the moment it was only at the gym that you interacted. At the boys' dorm the louder members usually dominated the conversation so, although you did sometimes speak with him, you hadn't had much of a real conversation together. You didn't think you could call him your friend yet but you wanted to be able to. Maybe if you were brave and made the effort you could make a good start today.

The clink of the mugs being placed on the table startled you out of your thoughts.

Jongho laughed a little, "Sorry, did I make you jump?"

"Yeah," A sheepish look crept onto your face, "I was lost in thought."

"Oh? About what?"

"Well...we only really talk at the gym. I was thinking it would be nice to get to know you better outside of exercising."

It wasn't easy for you to put yourself out there even this little bit. In addition to judgement you always expected rejection. Except for Hongjoong you'd never had any good friends. You'd had people who you hung around with but not that you'd call real friends. You'd never felt accepted by the other girls. Rejection was what you feared every time you tried to make friends now.

"I'd really like that." You looked away shyly and blew on your hot chocolate as Jongho smiled brightly at you. You didn't really know where to go from here because it was so unlike you to even start a conversation let alone try to make a friend.

"I'd also really like you to share this red velvet with me." He said, indicating to a ridiculously-sized piece of cake sitting between you on the table.

"Oh, no...I really shouldn't." The cake did look amazing but you'd been so good lately, for once managing to stick to a healthier diet that didn't include your usual excessive amounts of cake and ice cream. You hadn't cut them out completely, just reduced to a normal amount. In addition to exercise, Jongho had helped with dietary advice; telling you not to forbid yourself anything but to balance your intake better. In the past when you cut out treats completely, it had always gone badly. You'd stick to it for a few months then crack and go on a binge. Jongho advised to make sure you get the proper amount of carbs, protein and nutrients to keep a balanced diet and stay healthier.

"Don't make me eat this all on my own...pleeease?" The pout that accompanied his plea was possibly the cutest thing you'd ever seen and definitely not something you could win against.

"Oh, alright. I'll have a little bit." You sighed, giving in to him again. "But only because you looked so cute. Pouting like that is a really dirty tactic, you know."

"I know," Jongho smirked, "...but at least you think I'm cute."

He flashed his signature gummy grin at you and you blushed, looking away. You wondered where on earth that confidence to call him cute even came from but as you sat talking to your training partner you found it amazingly easy to talk to him - comfortable, even. You had thought him shy because he didn't say much around you when the other boys were there but he didn't seem that way now it was just the two of you. He talked about so many different things and carried a lot of the conversation so confidently. He made you feel perfectly at ease and despite your fear of eating in front of other people he even managed to make you forget that, too. He was making you laugh with his terrible 'dad' jokes so much that when he held his fork out for you to take a bite of the moist red velvet cake, you were just too distracted to feel self-conscious.

Even when Jongho guided you out the door with his hand on the small of your back you didn't flinch away, you felt so comfortable with him.

"Wow, I didn't realise we'd been in there so long." Looking around the darkness outside confused you. It hadn't seemed like you were in there for that long.

"It is pretty dark now. I can walk you home...I mean, if you want that, of course." Jongho really was being quite the gentleman today; you idly wondered if this was what he was normally like or if he was just offering out of politeness because of the dark.

"It's okay, I'll be fine. My place isn't too far from here." You didn't want to put him out any more. Your apartment was in the completely opposite direction to the boys'.

"Oh." You weren't sure but he looked almost disappointed. Most likely just worried about you walking alone in the dark. "Well, get some rest before our next session. Be careful walking back."

"I will. Thanks for the hot chocolate...and cake." You smiled and waved before turning and making your way home, feeling really happy for once.

In bed that evening you found yourself going over the days events in your mind again. Not worrying over any errors you made that might make you look stupid, like you normally would but being thinking about Jongho and hoping you could think of him as a proper friend now. He was so kind and patient with you when you were working out at the gym but you had to admit you had much more fun with him afterwards.

You found yourself replaying the meeting in your mind; the silly jokes he made, how he looked so cute when he was trying not to laugh at them himself as he delivered the punchline. His smile really was so pretty.

As usually happened, though, the self-deprecating thought crept back in as you pondered just how good-looking he was and wondered what people must have thought seeing someone like you with someone like him. You really weren't in the same league as him. You could see just how easy it would be to fall for him but that didn't make any difference; it's not like he'd ever like you back. Why would he when he had tons of perfect-looking girls around him to choose from. Backing dancers, other idols, you couldn't compete with a single one of them. Your ex loved to remind you that no one else would ever want you looking like you did but at least if you remembered that and didn't get your hopes up, you couldn't get hurt again when the inevitable rejection came.

[daceydeath]

Masterlist and About Me

Hi Lovelies,

Name: DaceyDeath but you can call me Dacey or Day.

Age: in my 30s and pretty bad health so I'm not always around that often.

Write for: Stray Kids, Ateex and Xeed but I will probably add on to that as time goes on.

What I'm into: I really enjoy K-Pop. I love Stray Kids, Ateez, Xeed and Treasure but I listen to so many other groups. Huge Star Wars fan literally will talk to you for hours about it if you let me.

I enjoy writing immensely but it is only a hobby for me so updates can be few and far between because I do have a life outside of this site so things can be slow and I just ask for your patience.

All my works are exactly that mine, please do not repost anywhere outside this site, translate or steal it. I enjoy sharing what I have created but I will stop if I am not given the basic respect of the credit of my own creative work.

This blog is 18+ I am not responsible for your online life but I will block you if you are underage

All works are categorized by what they contain some works are not suitable for minors to interact with these are marked as 🔞. Please heed all warnings at the start of each piece and do not interact with any post you are not comfortable with.

Some of my work does have community warnings so if you have filters set to exclude that you won't be able to see it.

Genres:   Fluff: 🧁   Angst: 🥀  Suggestive: 🍑  Smut:💦  Comedy:  🎪  Romance: ❤️ Supernatural: 🌙 Mafia: 💣 Strictly 18+: 🔞 Fantasy: 🦄

Individual Members and Reactions Masterlist

A Work Proposal 🥀 💦 🍑 🔞 Masterlist Ot8 x Reader

Hierarchy 🔞 💣 🍑 🥀 ❤ 💦 Masterlist - Changbin x Reader

Creatures of Chaos ❤️ 🧁 🥀 🎪 🌙 🔞 🍑 💦 Masterlist - Various Pairings

Cigarettes and Cliches 🥀 ❤️ 🍑 🧁 💦 🔞 Masterlist - Felix x Reader

Individual Members and Reactions Masterlist

I Want to Watch 🔞 ❤️ 💦 Masterlist - Wooyoung x Reader

All Members As your boyfriend :🧁❤️ 🍑 When they see you for the first time: 🧁

Individual Members: Doha: Lazy Mornings ❤️ 🔞 💦 🧁  Bao: After the Party 💦  ❤️ 🔞 🧁 Jaemin: Dance Partner 🧁 🥀 🍑 ❤️