#at what point of rot does my brain simply stop working lol
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ok i wrote fic i replay game i read fic i stare at fanart until its burned into my eyeballs what else can i do.What else
#at what point of rot does my brain simply stop working lol#well i am typing so i guess im not too far gone#but you know we are lucky to be alive in 2024 because if this was like early 1900s i would be in an asylum strapped to a table lol fr#i am of course thinking about thanatos but this could be about anybody tbh
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a shane brainrot prompt: “you wanna cum without my permission, princess? Well now you don’t get to stop cumming without my permission”
im begging (my shane feed has been so dry lately and you are single handedly feeding a community i absolutely love u)
This got long as hell and I have no apologies because Shane brain rot simply does things for me 😂 I love you guys lol, I do feel like I’m a farmer very late to feedings with how long some of these take to get to but like I’m doin my best with limited time 😂
Content warnings: Shane brain rot babes, it’s all Shane brain rot, very nsfw MINORS DO NOT INTERACT PLEASE, bdsm stuff, Shane has a sir kink my mind can’t be changed but I welcome you trying, afab reader and parts
Shane and punishment for cumming without permission
He had been edging you for an hour at this point, a punishment for teasing him all day
Deserved? More then likely, fair? No
So you decided you just weren’t going to tell him when you were close this time and you came without his permission
“Princess, what was that, I know you didn’t just cum without asking, did you?”
The authoritative tone in his voice definitely made sure you knew you were fucked
You decided to go all in because fuck it, your already in trouble may as well try and lie your way out of it
“No sir”
A harsh smack landed on your ass
“Don’t lie to me”
“…..yes sir”
Next thing you knew he had gotten up from the bed
“Stay there”
Your in for a long night you’ve realized
He comes back in with a few different items before tying a blindfold around your eyes
“Ass up face down princess, your gonna learn not to lie to me tonight”
His tone left zero room for argument so you got in position
He made swift work of putting the spreader bar on you so you couldn’t close your legs, his belt wrapped around your arms keeping them behind your back
“You wanna cum without my permission, princess? Well now you don’t get to stop cumming without my permission”
He turns on the vibrator and presses it snugly against your clit before using some body safe tape to tape it to your thigh and keep it snug against you
“F-fuck sir please, I’m sorry” you feel like every nerve is on fire as he slams his cock inside your dripping cunt
“To late for that princess, fucking take it like a good girl yeah?”
A second orgasm washes over you quickly, you try to wriggle away but Shane’s hands on your hips slam you right back against him as you cry out
“Don’t run sweetheart, you wanted to cum, so cum”
One of his hands threads into your hair to pull you up, pushing your back into a harsher arch and making him feel impossibly deeper inside you
“Fucckkkkk please sir to much”
There’s tears streaming down your face as he lands another harsh smack on your ass, soothing his hand over the red mark as it blooms across your skin
“Shhhhhh princess, doing so fucking good for me, such a good little whore hmm?”
You can hardly think with how overstimulated you are, another orgasm quickly approaching
He wraps his hand around your neck and squeezes just enough to make your head spin as you cum again
“Fuck sweetheart, feel so fucking good around me, gonna make me cum in this tight little cunt”
Your whining loudly as his hips start to falter slightly in there rhythm, a tell tale sign he’s close
“Gonna fucking fill this slutty little pussy with my cum, you want that?”
Your nodding your head frantically against the pillow
“Then beg for it, or I’ll keep you here all night, tied up and ready to be used whenever I feel like it”
Through the amount of fog in your brain you muster up enough sense to follow orders
“Please… please sir fuck, w-want you to cum in me please”
He slams his cock into your cunt as hard and deep as he can as he cums
“Shit baby girl, did so fucking well for me princess”
Stays inside you for a few more moments
You whine in overstimulation as he pulls out, he turns off the vibrator and gently peels the tape off your skin, unbinding your arms and removing the spreader bar
“Stay there for a second love, I’ll be right back”
No arguments there because you feel absolutely boneless
His tone is soft as he puts the toys in a basket to be cleaned when he has a moment, he starts running you a hot bath
Soon he’s scooping you into his arms and gently sitting in the hot bubble bath with you, a bottle of water and a snack on the side of the tub
“You did so good for me love, does anything hurt?”
He’s always real sweet after intense scenes like this, gently washing your hair for you, massaging any sore spots, making sure your well hydrated and have a snack
After the bath he dries you off, puts one of his oversized shirts on you for bed and gently wraps you up like a little burrito before climbing into bed with you for plenty of cuddles and snuggles
#stardew fanfic#stardew valley#stardew farmer#stardew x reader#stardew headcanon#stardew shane#sdv smut#stardew smut
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I was reading through your tags and you mentioned at some point the kazuscara roommates finding your onlyfans and I think I completely combusted—thus i present to you my brain rot of late: you attend the same school as them but you’re not actually friends, all you know about kazuha is that he’s the friendly regular at the cafe you work at, who makes polite conversation every now and then but otherwise is nothing of note. In reality he’s been stalking you for weeks ever since your first encounter, and is dead set on the idea that you’re this innocent, weak thing that needs to be protected (maybe he stepped in when you had a bad customer and your meek reply helped fester his delusions?). Scara, on the other hand, is only aware of your presence since you’re his favourite cam model that he recently found. (Since he’s a harbinger he’s probs loaded) Weeks of funnelling money towards you cause him to feel this unwarranted possessiveness, believing that since he’s been providing so much in your “relationship” that it’s time you reward him in turn. However, despite the unbridled interest they have toward you neither are aware of each other’s feelings for you— that is, until you happen to run into the both of them heading to your class. While both are known for maintaining their stoic masks, they’re friends for a reason— and instantly can tell the attraction their roommates have towards their own “lover”. After kazuha finds your onlyfans he’s certain that you’ve been coerced and wants to save you, while scara thinks it’s time that he’s stopped letting other plebeians look at his possession—so, despite their initial reservations, come together to form the ideal plan. When you find yourself waking up groggy in a room you don’t recognize, all they can do is look on with glee whilst planning their next course of action with their new belonging. They’re friends after all, and good friends share though, don’t they?
This is v long srry lol you can ignore this ofc!!
AAAH, ANON!! YES!!! <3 I couldn’t resist writing more on this concept. orz They make for such a terrifying pair when they work together!
(cw: yandere, stalking, nsfw, implied kidnapping/drugging, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, delusional thoughts, savior complex, implied violence)
What if Kazuha and Scara were just acquainted with one another and actually became closer through their mutual obsession with you? Yes, they’re roommates and ought to get along because they’re living together but they haven’t exactly clicked yet. They talk every now and then and know little things about each other. Nothing too special. They don’t really hang out outside of their dorm either, what with their class schedules being vastly different. And Kazuha’s always out of the dorm doing who-knows-what. Most of his time is spent at a café, where he’ll write and read and stare at you while you work. On the other hand, Scara prefers to stay inside if he doesn’t have a good reason to go out. He likes his alone time. Although he has enjoyed going to the library every now and then to study.
So maybe they need to find some common ground. Maybe they need a push in the right direction before they get closer.
Kazuha likes to stare. Talking to you is great, but he worries he’ll say too much and then he’ll be a nuisance, or you might not want to talk to him at all since you’re working. But you always regard him with a warm smile, happy to scribble his name on the plastic cup because you remember him. Because you recognize his familiar face and soft, gentle eyes. He’s the one who saved you from that rude customer, after all, and he’s a polite regular. Why wouldn’t you know him? You might look like you can handle those types of situations, but what Kazuha saw that day was something entirely different. You were nervous—so soft-spoken and scared. He absolutely has to protect you from those kinds of people now, doesn’t he?
And he does exactly that. He’s your second pair of eyes—your valiant knight in shining armor—who sees and hears all. Sometimes he goes to the café with the intention to simply watch over you and make sure no one’s bothering you. He can recall one time when a customer was speaking rudely about you because her drink hadn’t been prepared in a ‘timely manner.’ In reality it’s impossible to make a drink within a few seconds, especially when you’re already preoccupied with making another customer’s drink. She must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed, or maybe she’s just a hateful person in general. You didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of such fiery insults, though.
Her eyes just can’t see your perfection and therefore she does not deserve to see out of them.
Kazuha’s willing to wrestle with all of this darkness if it means you’ll stay safe, oblivious, and pure. You’re like a defenseless kitten, unable to protect yourself from the scary world. He writes about you a lot in his journal; you’re his muse—someone who constantly shows up in poems and short paragraphs where he tries to describe what your dream date might be or what type of wedding you’d prefer. Things get darker the deeper you delve into his writings, where you’ll find entries in great detail. Kazuha writes a lot and he doesn’t even mean to. He just has to get all of his thoughts on paper before they abandon him and he’s left with emptiness.
Everything you do is pure; you’re almost an equivalent to a holy being. Your smell is pure. Your body is pure. Your actions are pure. Your smile is pure. Even when you’re on the verge of crying from harsh customers or when you’re turning down a confession, you’re still pure. And Kazuha likes that about you because it’s special. There aren’t many people in his life who are completely pure. He’s been through a lot of rough things and has seen firsthand how impure people can be. It’s only fair that he gets a chance to protect purity itself.
He might have some impurities, but that doesn’t deter him from watching over you. As gentle and unassuming as he is, there are times when even he loses his composure. Not many are privy to these dark emotions of his. His smiles are sharp and venomous and his eyes fill with a gloom so dark it can swallow you whole. You’ll never see this side of him; he won’t allow it. Instead you’re treated to his sweet, calm side, where he feigns perfection in hopes of catching your interest.
As for Scara… He doesn’t really care about Kazuha in the beginning. He’s just someone he has to live with. It’s not a big deal and as long as he doesn’t try to make lots of pointless conversation everything will be okay. He prefers the peace and quiet, considering he’s acquainted with people who are far from peaceful and quiet. Scara’s relieved that Kazuha leaves the dorm so often because it gives him an opportunity to watch his favorite cam star’s most recent video. He’s your most loyal follower—someone who’s paid lots of money just to have access to the highest tier of rewards and such. He even got a private video where you addressed him and moaned out his name with lustful thoughts of him. Having lots of money comes in handy.
When he finds out that you go to the same school as him, he’s a little shocked. He didn’t expect you to be so close. You’re practically within touching distance. If only he knew your schedule. If only you were in one of his classes. It’s really annoying that he only knows your online presence and not who you might be in your personal life. The last thing he’s going to do is consult Childe, that popular athlete who knows literally everyone in the school for whatever reason. Surely he knows you. But he’ll die before he ever asks Childe for a favor.
Scara loves you out of every other cam model because you’re different. You’re not just trying to get fast cash. You’re genuine. You listen to your subscribers and their feedback. You do your best to improve and do even better streams than the previous ones. All of your hard work is overlooked by the other fools who watch your streams, but it isn’t overlooked by him. Scara appreciates your attention to detail and the way you’re able to hook him with your breathless voice alone. You’re very skilled at what you do, so it’s only fair you get paid for it.
But buying your services isn’t enough. It’s not a real relationship, but it certainly feels like it when he buys preferential treatment. Private shows, special requests, odd favors—you do it all because he pays for it. But this relationship isn’t going to be one-sided forever. You’ll have to pay him back in full eventually. Scara likes to think he has patience and that waiting is fine. It gives him more time to plan his next move—to figure out what he should do to finally have you all to himself. So that those private shows he watches through a screen can finally be real.
Scara finds the journal sitting innocently on Kazuha’s bed, its maroon cover and maple leaves pulling at his curiosity. He might not know everything about Kazuha, but he’d recognize this journal anywhere. His roommate almost always has it on his person. Scara wouldn’t be surprised if he slept with it. To say he’s curious would be absolutely correct. He can only wonder what Kazuha writes in that thing. Perhaps it’s just notes for a class. That’s what anyone would think, right?
Scara opens it and flips through the first few pages. They’re normal for the most part. Just a bunch of haikus and other useless scribbles. When he skips over some pages, he starts to find things that are far more interesting than poetry and doodles of cats. He finds the majority of the journal is comprised of information. More specifically, there are facts and other knowledge about you—the cam model he’s been obsessed with ever since he stumbled upon your onlyfans. He reads through as much of the journal as he can and instantly learns so much: your address, your roommate, your workplace, your friends’ names, names of any potential exes. The list goes on and on.
Scara doesn’t have anything against Kazuha. His first impression of him wasn’t anything groundbreaking. He thought he was a pushover at first. But now that he knows what this journal holds… Well, it sheds an entirely new light on his roommate.
Just days before Scara took a peek inside his journal, Kazuha discovers your secret online life. He snoops through Scara’s laptop when he steps out, having left it open and unlocked. He’s just trying to find what could have caught Scara’s interest, as he’s almost always glued to his laptop on specific days at specific times, with his headphones on and his gaze unyielding. He doesn’t intend to find the file of one of your private videos—something that was meant only for Scara’s eyes.
He clicks on the video out of interest. He’s not sure what he was expecting to see, but it definitely wasn’t this. Kazuha sits there and stares at the sight before him. You’re dressed in skimpy lingerie and you’re muttering the dirtiest things while coating your fingers in lube. And your hands are stroking a thick toy and you’re addressing Scara and you’re lining it up to your hole and— He shuts the laptop before it can get even more explicit than it already is. He’s so conflicted, fraught with a betrayal so strong it weighs his heart down.
Why would he have this sort of video on his laptop? Did you give it to him? Did he make you do this? Are you in danger? Are you still pure?
Kazuha can’t kill on campus. It’s way too risky and he’d be one of the first suspects if Scara’s body is found. Besides, it’s not like he has the full story. He doesn’t know whether or not Scara’s done something that’s worthy of death. You could just be in a tight spot. He knows how easily you give in when you’re under pressure. Maybe you’re just doing this because you feel like it’s the only thing you can do. Not to worry; Kazuha will save you before Scara can ruin your purity with his twisted fantasies.
They confront each other when the time feels right. Kazuha struggles to keep a smile plastered to his face for the sake of politeness, while Scara holds in his raging temper so that he can bear some semblance of cooperation. Neither of them is happy to hear that the other went through their stuff, but they force themselves to make up because a more pressing issue is at hand: their connection to you.
Kazuha says he’s your secret admirer. Scara says he’s in a relationship with you. There’s no way you’d ever date someone like Scara—Kazuha knows this for a fact. Yet he falters at the confidence in Scara’s tone. That can’t be the truth, right? Despite this, Kazuha still strikes up an offer: If they work together to get what they both want, they’ll be unstoppable. With Scara’s riches and his influence and Kazuha’s charisma and clever thinking, they can easily get their hands on you. Of course this means they’ll have to share, but it’s not a big deal when they’re already in so deep. They both know the other’s secret; now they’re swearing to keep it in the pursuit of having you all to themselves. And luckily Scara agrees to the deal, but that doesn’t give Kazuha a reason to lower his guard.
However despite how well they work together when it comes to planning the kidnapping and actually executing it, they both have their own reasons for wanting you. Scara wishes to make his relationship with you a reality—to toss aside the screen that once held him back and finally do all of the things he could only do in his dreams. Kazuha seeks to protect your fragile heart, lest you crumble under Scara’s intense way of doing things and cling to him for salvation. You can’t do those sorts of things with Scara; he won’t allow it. Your purity is meant for him and no one else.
But sharing is caring and some have to learn that the hard way. It definitely brings Kazuha and Scara closer together, even if neither of them will admit it. If they look past their desires, they can be friends. And soon enough they’ll have to accept this new friendship if they want to avoid any unnecessary complications.
However there are times when they’ll cooperate in order to do things with you. They’re a packaged deal you can’t get rid of.
#chit chat#yandere#yandere kazuha#yandere scaramouche#kazuscara roommates#ty for feeding me anon orz#i like the idea of them being friends on the surface#but beneath that they're willing to abandon the other in order to meet their desires#but when they come together they're a force to be reckoned with#aaah i could go on and on with this concept#but i don't want to ramble#ANYWAYS TY AGAIN ANON <3 YOUR BRAIN IS SO LARGE#🧸 anon
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Want to start off by saying that I love your mind! I was hoping to get your opinion on: what is it in jackunzel that makes it feel so right?
EDIT: changed a few things ehe
ngl i found this challenging cus it made me think of how the answer would vary per person (yeah i went there idk why sdjkknds) so lemme get logical for a sec here haha
what exactly is the definition of “feel right”?
to make someone feel relaxed and comfortable, as merriam-webster states
simple as that, right? but wait there’s more
what makes something/someone go under that category?
now from there it expands because there are so many ways of answering that with everyone having different opinions and mindsets.
fair warning before we push on, this is going to get messy (like a word vomit) with how i’m just going to pour out everything i can think off, but just know i really like this question hence the, uh, mess? lmao
so back to your question, what is it in jackunzel that makes it feel so right?
in one POV, it could be because of how rapunzel and jack represent the sun and the moon respectively, making them two contrasting sides who shouldn’t collide and yet, against all odds and opposing forces that would come between them, they did.
and we can bet on the fact that they fought hard/struggled for it, depending on how fanfic writers play with it (reminds of this sun/moon au that sold me to this trope lmao).
just because others said it’s impossible or it’s against whatever, why should they listen to the “norm?” what even is considered “normal,” when the two can explore so much more of what they could be missing from life after stepping out of others’ shadows?
i just love sun/moon dynamics. i’m obsessed lmao i read the ones below somewhere and idk where but it’s been living in my head rent free and i can’t escape it tho feel free to correct me about any of these symbol topic!
like the Sun, thoughtful and full of energy to share with everyone, is connected with one’s self and known to, yeah, radiate warmth or light. it also symbolizes firmness, strength and power. oh and life too i guess?
while the Moon, subtle but full of mysteries and wonders, can also get emotional and sway others to be more nurturing. cus like it also symbolizes calmness, beauty, and nurture. plus eternity and enlightenment?
the list goes on if we head into more of what it both symbolize, but when these two celestial bodies get together, masculine and feminine energies unite. the Sun gives out life, while the Moon cultivates it.
i have no idea where i’m going but moving on
maybe it’s that taste of rebellion with going against the authorities/society/rules/of what has always been set to find out who they’re meant to be or, y’know, finding their identity without the shackles of others (like jack learning he has the potential to be a guardian and embracing it in his own time, and rapunzel realizing she’s the lost princess and works hard to be a good one),
or there’s something about the mystery that follows the other because they’ve never met anyone quite like them (like exploring a world they’ve never set foot on),
or finding all the good and bad in each other and in their differences, but still loving the other for who they are,
or what one lacks the other makes up for it and vice versa. with or without them realizing they can help each other grow to be a better version of themselves.
opposites attract who are bound to be full of surprises.
but on the contrary, they could also be two peas of a pod. aight this definitely goes against what i said above with all the opposites and stuff, but hear me out.
while they grew up and learned how to cope with life differently, they somehow still share the same sentiments when it comes to, for example, reaching their goals.
they have their own way to go about it, sure, but my point is they can reach a common ground better together compared when they’re with others.
like rapunzel with the lanterns, and jack with his memories. at first, one hesitated and wavered, while the other disagreed and pulled away. it was only after they saw a chance/realized this was it that they agreed in a heartbeat
they ultimately made the choice of diving in head first regardless of their initial thoughts in the first place. kinda like the moment they realized they can be a step closer to what they’ve been yearning for their whole life
bam, out of the way, they’re coming through lmao
not only that, but they can also be soft, gentle, understanding despite rapunzel’s spontaneuosness and jack’s mischievousness. we’ve seen them interacting with children and they’re so good at lifting their spirits up to have some fun and that there will always be a tomorrow.
and with their peers too. rapunzel lights up even the darkest of rooms, may it be like fireworks to bring joy or a campfire to warm one’s heart. jack meanwhile keeps things light when everyone else feels tense, easing others to relax and remember there’s always a way out
don’t forget the way they both sacrifice themselves for who they care for. like, they just do that, putting others first before them. that scene of saving eugene and baby tooth aaahhhhdjhdskdjkbkfjdkjf
and when everything comes crashing down and the world feels heavy on their shoulders, they both know they’re not alone with the other there for them.
maybe it’s the mutual understanding they have for each other after opening up, and finding a friend/partner/home through the connection they made together,
or they could be a push and pull that leads them to showing an unexpected side of the other, but in reality they always had it in them and all they needed was someone to show the way,
or how they complement each other, but they’re not two halves of a whole, no, rather they’re already whole themselves and they only reminded each other that they are,
or it’s simply because they don’t feel the need to put up walls or anything of the likes, because they know that no matter what they’ll be accepted for who they are.
opposites who have so much more in common than they originally thought
in another POV it could be because of how they give such partners in crime vibe. lowkey or highkey, take your pick. nothing would stop them from moving forward to a new tomorrow, or honestly whatever it is they put their minds to.
and i am here for that
like i said in one of my posts, “They were a magnet for trouble, with the Sun being a free-spirited and vivacious fellow, and with the Moon’s knack for mischief and being a rebel without cause.”
while both are adventurous, ready to explore whatever is out there, all the while just wanting to have some fun, they still balance each other out.
with jack usually ready to do what he needs/wants to do (which helps rapunzel to trust her gut and take the risk. that he’ll be there for her whenever she’s ready to step out of her comfort zone and jump away from her tower)
and with rapunzel knowing how to handle sticky situations properly (which reminds jack that not everything has to be done harshly and abruptly. that while freezing someone could be fun, it won’t solve things in the long run)
am i making sense? idek but you’re stuck with me lol but before i forget and i can’t believe i just remembered now. the way they can help fill in on what the other is missing
rapunzel wants to see the world, what goes out there, with the people, society, and history i feel. and jack can take her to wherever she wants to go. hell, he’ll even surprise her and bring her to places he’d think she’ll like.
with his experiences, he’s bound to have an endless list of plans for them to go through and it’s no surprise that she’ll love it, and (him) his gesture, nonetheless
jack wants to be noticed by others, to be seen and heard for who he is. and rapunzel is such a welcoming person that she accepts him wholeheartedly. give him the love he was deprived of for years.
reassure him that even he has a place to call home because why would he be excluded from that? he deserves it just as much as she and everyone else does
also i like to think they brainstorm ideas together
maybe it’s how they’re both game for an adventure, sudden or not, and this makes it easy for them to team up together and take on the world
or the feeling of familiarity as they click and everything flows naturally to them, where nothing is forced or uncomfortable between them
or how it’s like they can hold on to each other, knowing the other won’t let go no matter what because they’ll always have each other through the ups and downs
or it’s in their shared smiles, mischievous sparks in their eyes, moving together to the music of their synchronized heartbeats, as they step forward to the vast unknown
finding the ‘one’ who understands them inside out that they feel at home with them
i’ve said so many things and threw out so many brain rot, but what exactly is my final answer?
it’s simple: who knows? now before you toss me aside, and i hope not lmao, lemme just say even with that kind of final verdict, you can still find beauty in it.
you see, there’s so much more to explore and delve into with jackunzel because of their potential, that i don’t want to make a set answer for your question. i’d rather much help you, and anyone else wondering, to come to an answer yourself and maybe even share/discuss it with others.
i’m running out of brain juice, but i at least hope this helped satisfy your curiosity behind your question since this is all i can give… for now, maybe? who knows lmao
tho i’ll be honest and admit i based these on how i feel about jackunzel. so if ever someone else out there wants to add more points they thought of, feel free to add on this
#rotbtd#jackunzel#rise of the brave tangled dragon#the big four#jack frost and rapunzel#jack frost#rapunzel corona#holy hell what possessed me to type a damn essay lmao#my writing
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been calling this the worms fic lol
I feel like I’m suffocating. I feel like every time I sit down to speak, little worms wiggle their way past my teeth and to my tongue. I feel like staring at a screen isn’t doing anything to silence you. I know what they think of me. What you think too.
But why should I be a sympathizer to those who sit with heavy hearts. What good does pity do when I have more to worry about you. You fester and sit and rot like a spoiled squash in the back of the pantry. What good does it do to throw dirt to the writhing nightcrawlers hiding behind chapped lips.
I know better than to listen. I know the sights and sounds of the fallen few are nothing but an illusion conjured up by nights long past. I know not to give in, but sleeping makes the headache of the waking world feel less sobering than it should. I understand as I sit here, letting bile rise and heartbeats sit unsteady.
I understand what’s being said. I know the words falling to the ground, shattering like flakes of glass. What good would it do if I walked into the carnage that I sit through? Would they crunch under my bare feet like the first crystals of a new snow? Or would I walk on bloodied soles to the next bout of maggots.
I can feel them under my skin. Sitting heavy like pebbles worked under the layers of fattened flesh, sticking against the supple meat below like cloves of garlic. What higher being would feel the need to let me rot away to skin and bones when I could stay plump like a tomato picked too late from the garden. Flipping over a fruit to watch the crop worms wriggling through the corruption they fueled.
But am I the fruit? What sweet words tumble from the lips of a viper, sitting on a throne of warmth caused by the burning of a wrecked heart. Am I the mindless colony worms? Do I let myself scrounge around and drown myself in what’s long rotted away just for a semblance of joy in my fleeting life? Or perhaps the gardener, as I sit and stare into the torment of something I buried hours into. But how can one farm when only ashes fall from fingertips?
Maggots turn to flies. At what point will I shed the prisoner of rubber restriction for a new form? What good can being the fly be when only the wretched let me feed? Why do they only sing for a butterfly, whose poison is displayed as colors and light. Flies are much more plentiful. Maybe there's too many. They do swarm to the rot, making people face what they’ve done.
What am I but a bloated corpse of a mindless deer, sitting at the edge of the road. Maggots make my stomach churn as the buzzing of flies in my ears makes my brain melt into nothing more than a slop of wet proteins that collapsed into themself. But even the deer was one to run and prance. Falling sweet to death’s gentle dance.
What’s the point of sitting here? Do I listen to teachers? I listen and hear words that soon drop from my mind, like raindrops sunken with lead. Do I know what they teach? But do they know what they are to teach me? Letting my mind rot before I ever decided where to connect it seems to be my downfall. Letting little droplets of information slip past cold lips. The worm writhing on the back of my tongue won’t let me swallow. Is it my fault for letting them eat out my tongue like a parasite?
Do poetic allusions make me a poet? Do artistic scriptures make me an artist? Do creative writings make me creative? What are adjectives if they bounce off of my skin like hot coals, leaving nothing behind but a residual burn and the pitiful smear of soot against my skin. What makes a man? Is it what a man makes? What can I make if I can’t make myself a man?
I see them sometimes. Little shadows at the edge of my vision. I don’t give them the time of day. Tricks of the eyes dancing like worms on a barbed hook. I know that I’m probably imagining it. For what would be imagination if you could make them stop? Imagination is the only reality that can sit with me anymore.
I slumber and yet wake into a dream. I drink water and yet sit and dry away. I eat and yet I feel so starved. What does this prison demand of me? Chemicals my brain won’t make shouldn’t control whether or not I get to have a day in the world of the living. Shambling as a corpse because I broke addictions that a younger body grew with.
I know I should be thankful. I have much. I type on a computer of my own, I write on a phone of my own. I sit and fester in a room of my own. I sit in a house warmed by gas, fueled by money given away. Yet I open a window and let the night consume me as I sleep. The smell of the chilled air helped to quell whatever heat of the day that stabs into my skin like pins.
Can I even complain about the pricking of pins laid in my own cactus patch? Can I worry about where I sleep when I’m the one to fill the sheets with needles? What is a needle but a tool of bloodletting? Syrup running down my fingers and clearing my mind and heart. And yet the burning also seems to cut the euphoria.
What’s the point of cutting what I sit in when I can harm it in other ways? Bloated and heavy I can rot, like a waterlogged tree trunk sitting at the bottom of a bog. For what parasites burrow into my pores and eat away at me, I do not know.
Will I read this? Will you? What are my words to one who doesn’t see the world through the shattered lenses I bestow over it. You don’t know what rattles around my skull, bouncing off and leaving nicks in the bone. Maybe the stinging in from the fragments sinking themselves deep into the mass of proteins and slime that controls this hunk of tissues and mold.
I have the pictures sitting behind my eyes, dancing like reeds in a spring’s gentle breeze. Who am I to carve them out and splash them against a canvas like the crude oil they stem from. Why paint a picture out of slime when I could carve words out of broken bits of bone like sick little coins. What’s the point of words if the ones reading them don’t understand how they truly sit behind my skin.
I try to draw them out, to show the world what sits heavy on my mind. Digging the stones out of my skull with blunt pencils and dull pens never seems to leave me satisfied, letting the memory of attempts rolling down like sticky tears crafted from discarded crimson. Does digging with nail bitten fingers do any better? I dig and tear, yet the only reward is marred flesh that stared back at me like a defiled corpse.
I don’t know why I write. I don’t know why I’m sick. I don’t know why I’m mean. I don’t know why I’m scared. I don’t know why I’m sad. I don’t know why I’m mad. I don’t know why I sit and rot away while I watch the seeds buried around me burst from the soil like the sun blessing those above the horizon. Why do I let seeds dry away to a hunk of droughted dirt? What would watering do if only to prolonged the rate of which my negligence would hurt those around me.
Do they know what I think of them? Spitting words as effortlessly as puppets marionetted by those who've seen the worst of man and walked through. Am I simply a puppet with strings cut? Why must I sit and replay the memories of those who hurt me behind my eyes. Why do I let them hurt me when I’ve suffered enough? Is it because my pity for my own downfall never burned the same as guilt of survival?
Maybe I would be better if I drained my mind, and let the oils carrying the droplets of tears roll down the drain. Would emptying my stomach have the same effect? The weightlessness that follows the act of desecration of my own pride always seemed to clear my head. The burning of a stomach sitting on only old fears and whatever I couldn’t dig out with my bare hands. Maybe if I had longer fingers, I could pull the worms that slipped down my throat out.
Are they even really parasites if I invite them to stay? Letting the cancerous venom sink into my flesh all because I thought it would quell the burning in my head. The cries of pain bashing against the inside of my mind. What did I do to deserve this self-made hell? Why do I let myself stay in a pit of embers and broiling maggots only to let the illusion of familiarity keep me on my ass?
Maybe if I had been better, then I wouldn’t let myself earn the title of a broken husk. Am I really a husk if I’m not fully emptied? If I don’t allow myself to wither away, can I truly be more than a corpse walking with a broken mind. I let them in and I burned down the trees as my feet. Any disgust thrown at the steps of a false throne are nothing but my own.
Why do I write? I try to let these words out on paper, to craft gentle shapes and divine figures to convey the emptiness that consumes my waking moments. I never find the right angles to convey the type of madness that plagues my existence. Why can’t I just silence them? Why does the screaming of those burrowed into my skull like plump bot flies only serve to fuel my apathy?
Maybe they’re right. I should empty my throat and hands of the oil keeping my rusted gear turning. But wouldn’t that be a waste of whatever fluids I let myself run off of? Testosterone isn’t cheap. Fighting to achieve a goal only to let the reality of it crumble around me like shattered terracotta does sound like me. Maybe if I could listen to the birds singing in the night, I wouldn’t let the rats in the walls whisper their sweet promises of endlessness hang over my heart.
I stare at a screen, and let my eyes burn. Is it from the tears that refuse to fall? I sit at a screen and let myself pound away at a sheet of plastic set over a motherboard. Such complex code and mechanism to go into the vile sludge that I let fall past my lips. Anything held within is only allowed out once it’s festered enough to burn the nightcrawlers in my throat.
Who do I write to? What goals do I hold? Why do I let these words leave me when it never sates the feeling of emptiness that hangs over me like a cloud of gnats. I can blink the bugs out of my eyes, and I can shut my mouth. But what is to stop the infectious little pets from crawling through my ears and directly into my mind. To die from suffocation and rot away. Everything else in my head rots.
Is this how I want to live my life? Letting the sands of worn stone slip through my fingers as I hope to catch a shard? I don’t want to grow old. I don’t want to grow. Competing for light in the world of a dying sun sounds like something of insanity. But isn’t insanity all I have to make my claim? School isn’t enough for me to care. Skills and talents elude me. Communication is faulty. The only constant I have to sit with seems to be the maggots that like to chew holds in the veil I have hanging over my world.
Who am I? Do I know the answer anymore? Am I a husk full of rotting mealworms digging away through the sawdust that sit heavy in my chest? Am I a corpse walking as the worms squeeze themselves between my bones as I shuffle towards my next objective? Am I a bloated log full of parasites and moss that can’t see through the muck blocking the lukewarm water I sit at the bottom of?
What could I possibly do to fix myself when I don’t know what’s broken? I’m not a doctor. They tell me falsehoods and deceitful lies meant to make me seem normal. Why is clinging to the decay of myself the only sure hood I have left to my name? Why am I broken? Others burn and beat and thirst to the brink of death. I’ve never known true fear except for that of which I’ve conjured to my own forefront.
Is the fear true or is it another illusion meant to make the pity outweigh the disgust sitting heavy in my mind? Can I truly fix myself when I let myself believe the lies I whisper to myself in the dark of the night? Why do I let myself decay if I’m disgusted by the mold creeping over my skin. Why do I push them away if I’m upset when I end up alone with my thoughts?
Do I have a future? Or did I ruin that, too?
#trauma vent#dysphoria#mental ill health#creative writing#poetry#is actually poetry???#wtf counts as poetry#im failing english idk what poetry is :(#angst#vent fic#love me some worms lmao#idk how tumblr fucking works but buckle the fuck up bc im on it now
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I wrote this post some time ago as a reply to someone and now I somehow want to post it again with some changes lol
TW: mentions of murder, referenced canon abuse and swearing
Let’s talk about redemption arcs and people’s overwhelming desire to punish fictional characters for what they did... Inspired by Endeavor hate ngl... I mostly speak about fictional charcters in this post so pllease, don’t go dumb and understand that fictional characters and irl people should be treated differently
I think sometimes people don`t understand why punishment exists in our society at all. Like, why couldn`t we just forgive? Why punishment is needed? Oh, I would like to talk about behavioural psychology, but it is kinda creepy so instead let`s remember what my teacher of LAWS said(idk what you call it in your bitchass America)
Punishment basically serves two functions:
Preventative (show others and a person that they can’t just get away with their deeds). Like, if you knew that there are no negative consequences, wouldn`t you do it? Wouldn`t you kill the old lady?
Correction and all work with a person in general (for example, you can be forced to go through some psychological help)
Also, I lied there’s one more: compensation. Like, if you stole something, then bring money back, you little shit. Or pay for therapy for your victim
So when we put it into stories and so popular nowadays redemption arcs (which I fucking adore if they are done correctly) we have 4 points out of this 3 cause the first one can be put into two
Character is punished to show others that this is not something you should do (it’s a kinda societal thing and has nothing to do with character in particular. This point in general is not interesting because it doesn’t drives changes in person by itself)
Character is punished so he himself would think twice before doing this shit again (we can’t know if person’s remorse is genuine so it’s better to simply scare them. But I can allow skipping this point if person’s remorse is clealy shown to be genuine and we as readers understand that. That’s probably the big distinction we, as readers, should see: while irl we never know persons true motives, work of fiction can provide them to us clearly)
Character changes and understands what is wrong in what he has done (the part of redemption we all love and enjoy)
Characters work hard to correct or atone for their mistakes
As we can see first two bullets has nothing to do with character development and serve for the purpose of maintaining order. The third one IS a character development and the last one is what makes people actually forgive horrible actions and not go ape shit I guess. But for some of us nothing is enough, isn`t it?
And there is one more shit that is often in redemption arcs and that shit is great and I fucking love it
Explanation of the character’s behaviour, their reasoning and motivation
I truly enjoy reading about WHY characters behave a certain way but people, remember, SAD BACKSTORY IS NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR YOUR ACTIONS. Same goes to your mental problems and hard life situation. The fact that behaviour can be explained doesn’t mean shit. Like, behaviour also follows certain laws and despite the fact that it’s sometimes hard to understand all the details we still theoretically can explain ANY BEHAVIOUR. Does this mean we can excuse any behaviour? HELL NO
So remember folks, “They had their reasons to do this” means nothing most of the time. “I wanted to try how it feels” is actually a valid reason to kill someone, you know. Of course, if crimes is not severe, reasoning suddenly can be very important like we won`t punish harshly someone who stole bread cause he is starving or cause he has kleptomania (I mean as a literal disorder). But even in that case you must pay back money cause like stealing is bad but eat the rich
let`s talk examples from bnha cause why not
Endeavour
We have Enji oh my baby you have done so much stupid shit you dumbass. Sad backstory even if will be brought up in the future, currently is not a focus of redemption at all. Like, he even doesn`t explain his behaviour too much. “He want to be the strongest, so he decided that even if his genes will make it to the top it will be enough. As a result, blinded by his goal, he abused his family”. Basically, it`s all the explanation we have right now. And if Hori stops at it I will be fine with it. Honestly, as much as I want to learn more about Enji’s past if Horikoshi leaves everything at this I would give him nothing but mad respect cause... This kind of shows that your reasoning doesn’t matter that much if you did horrifying things
So 3 points to redeem someone
Enji didn’t suffer any punishment for his actions (nightmares are considered punishment only if you believe in God. Also, too weak, God, try harder... And same goes for High-End). When I think about him being punished I actually worry about society’s reaction cause, like, he is number 1 hero and the fact that he’s an abuser will be, like, very shocking to simple people.Trust in hero will fall harder than my will to live during 2020. And honestly, media would just turn this into a drama possibly hurting other members of his family, like.... Enji being legally punished for his action would be an interesting plotline but in general I am not a fan
We see his genuine remorse and character growth. We all agree that he even is drawn differently now changed and trying to become a better person, yeah? Clumsily at first, but he genuinely works hard to be a better peron, hero and father. I can respecct that
Compensation… Well, you can exactly “correct” trauma so he should pay up for psychologists for each child he probably should follow the path of atonement and try to give them something he robbed them from. Like, go to family dinners with Fuyumi even though every last one of them is a disaster and nobody is happy to be there. Or make everything possible to provide Rei calm life with her children (like building a new house, yes, this is an amazing thing) or at least become *reducted cause I wanna this post to be serious and SFW*... Tbh I have nothing to say, he himself says multiple times that he seeks nothing but atonment, not even forgiveness
So like you better work bitch to make your family happy bastard... [And tbh they seem so much better then when I first wrote this post, I am so proud of you, my garbage fire man]
Overhaul
In no way is he redeemed but somehow people put Overhaul and Endeavor stans in the same category so here he goes
Kai has something Enji doesn’t: very good and detailed explanation, a plan, a smart reasoning. His wrong deeds were basically for a better good he believed in. But we all collectively hate him for what he done to Eri despite his actions having r E A S o n S. Dude has some MOTIVATION. So like yeah bros. It makes him an interesting character and he is an amazing villain but dude deserves to rot in prisons. He shows no remorse and I am gonna bet he won`t even think about somehow helping others. Dude is a shitty person. And I fucking love him
So let’s go for our 3 bullets again
Punishment. Yes, he is punished, he is in jail with both his hands cut off. Would it make people forgive him? Nah
Personal growth. I would like to see it but as far we saw barely no growth... Though maybe being in jail without quirk will make his brain work
Atonement... Dude has a Messiah complex, I ain’t waiting for that anytime soon
So I asked myself if I had two men: one who spent a sentence in jail for child abuse but is more or less the same person and another who wasn’t punished for his abuse but feel genuine remorse and actively try to make things better who will I choose? Of course, I will choose Pikachu
But is it possible to redeem Overhaul? I wonder if there`s a force in this world strong enough to make him become a better person. Welp... I am a sucker for redemptions, justt letting you know
All for One
Oh, he is irredeemable (and this is sexy). Why is he here? Cause, well
Even if he is punished there`s no punishment severe enough to describe how horrifying his deeds are
Even if he is to feel remorse… he has like 500 years or something??? And he didn`t feel anything killing people??? So why would he change today?
Even if he atone for what he’s done… I am to believe he started at least a civil war. You can`t atone for that bitch. You crossed all fucking lines, all fucking lines
AfO is literally the most evvil man in bnha... I don’t want to see him redeemed cause I love characters that are pure evil and I love the despair of realizing you can’t fix what you have done. Though you are free to have a different opinion! Who knows, maybe Horikoshi will make a classy redemption for him and I will scream out of excitement? Cause I am that kind of bitch??? Who knows! I just love to think Doctor Ujiko is gay for him
Anyway, why do people like to make this characters suffer? Like, Endeavor, Minoru, Overhaul, many others? Is this part of the “punishment” to feel like person paid for their deeds? Or do people just like fictional violence and punishing “bad” characters make them feel good about themselves? Who knows
I have no idea what this post is about I want to sleep and I like Enji though if you dislike him this is fine. I hope it was interesting reading this, love you all bye
Don’t kill me for my controversial takes, I am depressed
#overhaul#endeavor#all for one#redemption arc#bnha#bnha meta#yea I do classify my bullshit post as meta BYYE#bnha endeavor#bnha overhaul#enji todoroki#kai chisaki#boku no hero academia#don't take this too seriously though#original post was written when I was on heavy meds#so idk#my post#really hope you enjoy it#long post
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Forgive me if you're getting this Ask twice-- I couldn't tell if it went through the first time. Thank you for agreeing to help me! I am a grad student working on a literacy learning project in which I need to immerse myself in a form of literacy that I do not have experience in. I am a reader of fanfiction and a huge fan of Kastle, so I decided that I would write my own Kastle fanfic. Would you and the Kastle community share with me what you as readers typically look for in a Kastle fanfic?
The first one did send through, but it’s totally okily dokily! I would also like to preface this by saying I was just sat here and I’d answered with this with an actually not horrific response and then my laptop died out of absolutely nowhere, :) without warning :) [which happens all the time, because my computer is dying in general, but still I’m miserable about the loss lololol anyway] – so, this one isn’t as well thought out.
I’m just gonna say that the main thing that I look for in Kastle fanfiction is close to canon characterization. We’re all different people with different eyes and ears and brains, so when we watch the show, obviously different things might stand out or feel more prominent in who they are, than other things to other people. So, I’m not bothered by different headcannons or anything like that. I mean, it’s fanfiction, that’s the point – I’m reading it to read that writers’ take and have a good time……or a bad time, depending on if the writer is trying to squeeze out hearts lolol. But, there’s a general base line for who the characters are that has to be met for me to really get attached to what I’m reading. I’m this way for any fanfiction for any couple, to be honest. But, it’s super prominent when dealing with Karen and Frank, for whatever reason. If they stray too far away – their characterization, their vibe, their dialogue – I start to slowly check out of what I’m reading. I might just flat out stop. And if they’re in a Different Scenario where one doesn’t want to focus too heavily on the heavy, how that’s adjusted to fit the more lighthearted piece.
I mean, take Frank for example. If I open a fic and he spends the entire thing absolutely miserable with no small bright spots, at all, that’s just as off-putting to me as him being some weird happy sunshine man. Because, Jon’s Frank Castle (and that’s all I can go on on Frank, at all, honestly. I’ve never read a TP or DD comic lol whoops) finds things amusing. I mean, he’s literally lying in a bed having a deal worked out for him to go to prison in Gen. Pop. and he’s making jokes about it. Karen’s screaming out at him that refusing to cooperate with her and his lawyers, so that they can help him, will do nothing but result in him failing to get answers to about his family and have him rotting in a cell. And his immediate response could be more misery and more doom and gloom, but instead he’s turned on impressed and amused by Karen’s outburst. He admires the blunt and fearless goddess before him the honesty and the blowup and he teases her choice of wording. He’s light in a moment where she literally just said the results of his actions might be that he never learns the truth and he’s taking delight in her explosion despite it.
Yes, he’s angry. He’s violent. He’s depressed. But, sometimes he talks about his family and he’s smiling. He’s laughing. Does it more than likely melt back into his ever present grief? Absolutely. But, it doesn’t mean that show of levity isn’t there. And Karen’s character and characterization faces a similar path in the show, just in the flipped direction. The core of her is built around something traumatic and sorrowful, but her general demeanor is positive and determined.
Frank is funny. Karen is funny. Frank is sad. Karen is sad.
They’re feeling a lot of things at various times.
So, the main thing I look for in Kastle fic is the appropriate balance of that. If I feel like it’s too far off the mark, I more than likely won’t finish it.
The second thing I look for ties directly into the main thing, which is simply the dialogue. How they talk to each other. Especially once it’s starts bleeding further into the actual romance aspect of the story and not just the build up. Frank’s not adverse to endearment – he’s obviously someone that cares EXTREMELY DEEPLY for those he loves. (To the detriment to the gangs of New York). And we’ve seen him call Leo “sweetie” and stuff, this sweet little girl that he gets a big soft spot for. But, we’ve also seen him talk about his wife on multiple occasions and give big romantic speeches about his wife, like when he and Karen were on a date sitting in the diner. He calls her “my old lady” and he says he would literally chop his arm off at the table if he could just have another moment with her and feel what he thinks Karen must feel for Matt (*coughs* k sure, Frank) and it’s all really depressing ‘cause he’s destroyed, but he and Karen are on their date wow what a date sitting there and he’s talking about love and it’s just such a good moment.
He’s not gonna call Karen the things he called his wife, obviously, unless they’re general terms of endearment. But, I think it’s a good example of the way he talks. I look for as close to canon characterization on the way they speak. Like, if Frank starts calling Karen his “beloved” it’s suddenly not Frank anymore – it’s some guy who happens to be as hot, but there’s been a mind swap or something. If Karen’s calling Frank “sugar plum” I’m kind of scratching my head, because who’s that blonde lady that’s suddenly speaking, what’s going on?
And I think the final thing I look for is simply that Karen is given more agency in terms of the relationship they’ve got. Because, in TP1 and TP2, it’s very much Karen who’s standing there with her arms flung open going, “I want you to be in love with me, like I know you are! I see you pushing it away! I am in love with you! You are allowed to love and have a life! Have a life with me!!!!!” And then Frank basically trying to push her back to Matt for literally no reason. I think a part of this is just Frank himself in his constant sabotage mode, because that’s his entire life after his whole family was murdered. He’s on destruction path, even when he’s trying, in moments, to get out of it. But, I ALSO think part of it is just that they didn’t have Karen for the full season, either season, and, even before they knew Marvel Netflix was heading to the grave, the shows refused to appropriately connect and were instead taking the ’’’easier’’’ path. Because, it was made pretty clear that they’d put her in the whole show if they could, but only could get her for so much time, and they wrote for that time.
So, in fic, I look for Karen getting to have her feelings actually be on display, instead of just being there to bounce his feelings off of, because they didn’t have her for enough time in either season to go more deeper on her end, since she wasn’t actually their character. And for her to get to have more agency in what’s going down with all that wanting them to be in love stuff just feels crucial to me, at this point, seeing as Marvel refuses to just make my dreams come true and announce that they gave a shit about these shows and are bringing them into the fold with the same casts.
Other than those two things, which I consider to be fairly standard, and that one thing where it’s just my exhaustion with my girls always having to fix everything – I’m pretty open to anything in terms of actual story. (I’ll even read a pregnancy/baby fic if it’s well written – and I’m…adverse to fanfic about babies). I just want an appropriate balance of their individual traumas to the sass master’s that live inside them and appropriate dialogue to who they are as people.
(I’ve got a whole thing about what I look for in a fanfic in general, but it’s not specific to Karen and Frank – it’s just like….spaces and pacing, which doesn’t have much to do with this.)
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What do you all look for in Kastle fic?! Help @chaiteacookiesnglitter out and reblog this and put in your two cents about what you’re inherently looking for. :DDD
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Swamp Thing Season 1, episode 7 thoughts:
Today’s episode was just simply beautiful and sad between Alec and Abby in a way you could only expect it to end the way it did. It had so many lying implications between the 2, then one can realize besides the whole “Protagonist not wanting to lose the one he loves.”
Don’t get me wrong I’ve wanted a Swamp Thing & Abby Arcane live action done right since I saw “The Return of Swamp Thing” in 1989/1990. But I just love the whole dynamic being stretched nearly to a near-fatal breaking point.
Accepting Alec - My thoughts on this is just a jumbled mess; it hurts: Accepting Alec played a massive part in this episode. Unlike the Abby Arcanes of the past - The Alan Moore Saga, The Return of Swamp Thing, or the New-52, or even the cartoon mini-series - it has taken her longer to accept Alec as Swamp Thing. Even after she learned from Susie, it was Alec the only time they really touched was briefly when she was suffering from the Darkness-Hallucinogens, and when he showed her what happened to Shawna. It wasn’t until after he tried saving her the Alec Holland-Way failed and had to save her the Swamp Thing-Way that she finally seemed to accept him for what he was now, even though she still wants to find a way to revert him back to human.
I think the whole hallucination-power was a way to see what they truly wanted. He wanted to remain Alec for her and tried to give up the Swamp Thing persona, but came to the conclusion that if he did things the Alec Holland-Way, he was helpless. Abby also showed that she genuinely wanted Alec back to the way he was, but I am starting to think that was working against them. Think about it, in the previous he said he worried that accepting his new situation would take him further away from her, but they remained at least 10 feet apart from each other.
Except for the few instances of him touching her, they always seem to have had some distance between them. Even weary on letting the other touch each other. But yet after the pollen made him look like Alec to her, it seemed like they were more willing to be close to one another even touch each other. More so after he fought The Rot off in her body. Up until this time, part of their relationship seemed very superficial on Abby’s part, but one can also argue that it was also superficial on Alec’s side, to want to be seen as “The Charming Man she knew.”
Ugh… I gotta get off this bit, or I am going to keep going turning this into an essay and want to bash my head in trying to wrap my mind around these thoughts.
Abby’s Purpose: In all of Swamp Thing, except for the cartoon mini-series and the 90s Live Action series which I can't remember if she was in it or not, Abby Arcane has always been his heart - his humanity if you will. She was the only one in the Alan Moore saga to keep reminding him of his humanity. That it didn’t matter if he was a sentient plant being with Alec Holland’s consciousness, in her eyes, he WAS Alec Holland. In the New-52 even after he became Swamp Thing and she became sensitive to “The Rot” and showed that she had Rot-Powers, she still reminded him of his humanity.
When he has been at the lowest or darkest point in his life, she would always be there to help him.
So far even though it is a mere fraction of what she has done compared to her comic book counterparts, she does seem genuinely vested to be that support he so desperately needs. She like her comic counterparts, even though she had trouble seeing him as Alec up until last weeks episode - she has always reminded him that he is Alec Holland. (which for the most part to us the viewers we don’t know if he IS STILL Alec Holland like the New-52 Alec who was dying from his wounds in which the Green turned him into the Warrior-King Swamp Thing or a Sentient Entity of the Green with his consciousness). But even if we do learn what continuity they decide to use, she NEEDS to be there for him, regardless of him not wanting her in the swamps of Marais. I just hope with the series being unfortunately canceled (and not being picked up elsewhere by the looks of it so far) it is done in a proper manner that doesn’t make it campy or they kill Abby off. I do want to see her in grievous danger, in which Swampy and possibly Daniel come to her aid.
A little off topic I do hope to see that they go the Alan Moore route, one that scene is just so powerful in the comics. This because after Woodrue mind-fucks him at Sunderland’s corporation building and deals with Woodrue, he searches for the body and buries it cutting ties to “the person who was once Alec” and was so resistant against Abby calling him Alec for the longest time - till he said she could. But that being said there is another reason why I hope they go this route and explore whether Swamp Thing is Alec Holland or not. I am a Guyver fan, in which death is no big deal to Guyvers because they regenerate newer bodies after their control medals have been ripped out of their heads. They very haphazardly explored the whole “If a the Guyver regenerates a newer body, is the person that same person or a shell of that person with their memories?”
Living as Alec & Alec’s Helplessness?: I kind of liked the idea that even though he was still Swamp Thing, and appeared to Abby as Alec, I liked how they did it. After a recent second viewing of yesterday’s episode, I think they (producers and writers) meant it to be like a test to not just Abby (in seeing if she could genuinely accept Alec the way he is) but a test for Alec. Earlier I mentioned the Alec Holland-Way, I think even as Swamp Thing he really wanted to live life as Alec would have. He also tries to desperately save Abby as Alec would have against the Rot, until realizing it wasn’t going to work out.
Now some of you may be saying, “whoa there, that doesn’t mean he is helpless!” But in doing things, the Alec-Way also contributed to Abby getting attacked by that tendril. As Swamp Thing, he would have possibly been able to stop that thing from punching her in the first place. Which even though I say that, I kind of like the idea of Alec struggling with the tendril, because in the New-52 continuity. For those wondering it was established that he begins to lose his power in areas profoundly affected by the Rot. Trying to live as Alec would have possibly weakened his power even more, because as Avatar of the Green, even in Rot Infested areas he should have been able to get it off of her and rip it to shreds.
A return to The Return of Swamp Thing?: I have to admit I loved Alec and Abby in the swamp together walking through it like a couple in love (Someone PLEASE do a video of Swamp Thing/Alec and Abby to this song when the series is over- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFmisnHehtg. It would make us Swamp Thing/Abby Old-Timers with no music video making knowledge happy). It was very reminiscent of Dick Durock’s and Heather Locklear’s wandering the swamp to me, even heard their original theme in my head during their scenes.
Abby’s Darkness?: When Alec was desperately trying to save her, what if he merely prolonged something else in her? What if the Tendril was attempting to turn her into an Avatar of the Rot like she was in the New-52 saga? She mentioned “the darkness” in the euphoria of pain, and her skin tone and body started to appear like her new-52 counterpart. Now that being said, what if Alec using the green merely suppressed it? Because it is a possibility, he got a glimpse of the darkness of her own past when he took hallucinogenic-darkness away from her in episode 4. A crack theory I know, but I feel like that scene was supposed to mean something besides Abby getting attack and Swamp Thing dropping the Alec persona to save her.
These are all the thoughts that have been running through my head and have plagued me for the last 15 hours @.@ I’m tired, and I don’t want to hurt my brain anymore tonight.
That being said other great highlights of were Maria stealing the Sunderland Company from Avery. Wasn’t overly excited over Lucilia and Matt’s scenes, if anything they have earned what’s coming to them. I still like the dynamic of James Woodrue and Caroline, you can genuinely see that James is so flat out determined to save his wife which kind of mirrors Abby being so committed to saving Alec.
I do like the scene with Liz and Matt, however, mainly because, that in the Alan Moore Saga (which is like the holy grail of Swamp Thing lore) only 4 people knew of Alec being Swamp Thing before he was captured. Matt Cable, Abby Arcane-Cable, Liz Treymayne, and her husband. Thus far, it seems like the series is genuinely doing all of Swamp Thing (movies, comics, cartoons, series) true justice while forging itself as a new identity for the Avatar of the Green.
With Abby going back to Atlanta, I can't wait to see scenes of her with Adrienne Barbeux’s Doctor Palomar and Abby together in a scene. Will they make her first name Alice (as in Alice Cable from the 1982 movie) Will Adrienne get a scene with both Swampy and Abby as if to pass the torch on to this new generation of Swamp Thing stars? Will she give Abby some guidance on what to do with particular Swamp creatures (lol)?
But I still have questions!
Where is that Good Boy Garou?
What happened to Susie?
What happened to Margaux?
Anyway, I am finally done with this post. I am off to go listen to some Godzilla movies as I drift off to sleepy land.
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