#at this point he has a whole room dedicated to beanie baby storage

[kenonade]

idol achilles + beanie baby king achilles = constantly getting gifted beanie babies and not knowing what to do about it achilles.

i also finally have a reason to play around with these tweet generators. im having the time of my life. evidence attached below.

[whitherliliesbloom]

since they're going around, do you have any pregnancy headcanons for Illya? (you can delete this if it makes you feel uncomfortable, sorry!)

*Interrupts my butler au and nyooms to my inbox real fast*

SO I SEE YOU’VE CHOSEN DEATH. Placed under the cut because this is long. Seriously. I’ve broken the headcanons into sections. Some 5.3 spoilers under the birth section due to mentions of a certain someone. 

Realization and breaking the news to friends

Among their friends, Illya and Alphinaud are probably one of the last to get married but ironically, the first to have children. Because they’re the type of couple who has like 20 years of their future planned ahead of them. Communication is extremely important to them, and long before they even got married they’d already discussed having children.

Having a baby was on their ‘to-do’ list right after moving into a new home and also making sure the timing is right that no world ending threat might cause having a baby to become an inconvenience.

So when Illya starts to feel symptoms she honestly isn’t even surprised. She’s more ecstatic than anything. Given her experience with being a medic, she can also roughly tell apart her morning sickness from a common cold or food poisoning. She does go to a chirurgeon to double check though, and her suspicions are confirmed. 

She surprises Alphinaud with the news by sewing a tiny onesie version of his trademark suit and gifting it to him in a present box while he’s working.

Alphinaud planned for this but he still can’t help but feel his stomach do flips when he figures out what her gift means and he grabs her into a hug only to quickly pull away “ah- I should be careful from now on, I’m sorry!”

They tell the scions and they celebrate the news together. Krile offers to personally monitor Illya’s condition and Tataru won’t stop crying throughout the party. 

Illya travels back to the First and announces the news to her and Alphinaud’s friends of Norvrandt. Chai Nuzz was fortunate enough to stop his wife from crushing Illya in a hug by reminding her that she’s carrying a child. Dulia Chai is quickly reduced to tears when Illya gives her a handwritten letter from Alphinaud asking her to be the baby’s godmother. Ronitt offers to build Illya an automaton that would serve as an automatic baby walker but she refuses his offer. The pixies seem to already know Illya’s pregnant before she even tells them, most probably due to word from Feo Ul, who promptly scolds their darling sapling for keeping the news secret from them until now. Seto is horrified that Illya walked all the way to see him and gave her a flight back to the crystarium. Ryne is overjoyed and asks if she could be the baby’s big sister, to which Illya of course agrees. 

Though unfortunately, Krile asks Illya to refrain from traveling back to the first anymore especially during her late stages of pregnancy. They don’t know if the baby will be able to handle the travel well especially when it starts to develop a solid body and soul of its own. Illya explains this to her friends, and they all understand.. though Dulia Chai does request for a painting of the baby from Alphinaud after Illya gives birth. 

Before Illya could make the traverse back to visit her parents in their homeland, she is surprised by their visit. Alphinaud had apparently scheduled and prepared their voyage over to Eorzea to visit Illya as a surprise, and Illya can’t hold back her tears of joy. Cocona too, is reduced to tears but tries to hold it back. Lachlan is just jolly and excited to be a granddad and tells Alphinaud and Illya that he’s proud of them.

Cocona and Lachlan stay at their home for a few days and before they return to their farm, Lachlan crafts up a little baby stool with his carpentry skills.

During pregnancy / preparation

Even when pregnant, Illya is a workaholic. She’s absolutely forbidden from fighting but she still actively works her shifts at infirmaries and sneaks out once in a while to attend to injured soldiers. She also does chores, much to Alphinaud’s chagrin. Against his insistence, she still cleans the house and cooks their meals, but she leaves the heavyweight stuff to temporary helpers Alphinaud hires.

When the two aren’t working, they’re actively preparing for the baby’s arrival. Illya by sewing as many onesies, towels and beanies she possibly can.. and Alphinaud by buying an indescribable amount of supplies. They have a whole storage room dedicated to baby nappies, wipes, formula and food. He doesn’t listen to Illya’s scoldings. Surely a ceiling high worth of diaper packs isn’t enough. 

Illya’s a lot more picky about her diet and the 9 months she’s pregnant is the longest she goes without eating her signature black blossom peppers. Even she knows that it might be hazardous to her baby. Her weirdest craving consists of a stick of steamed celery dipped in Ishgardian tea. She’ll swear upon her life that it tasted good to her at the time. 

They also begin to prepare a room for the baby, Illya pasting glow-in-the-dark stickers of stars and birds on the ceiling and they paint the walls a bright baby blue with clouds together. They line the baby’s bed with layers of the best blankets Illya could afford to sew and plushies of themselves. There are plushies of the scions lining the shelves above the cabinet too. Of course, Illya has a ton of potted flowers in the room.

Of course, they begin baby-proofing the house too and Illya has to ask Alphinaud to get a lock fixed on the door of their armory. They have a personal aetheryte installed in their garden which only they and their trusted companions can attune to. Illya crafts a baby bracelet with a tiny aetheryte charm attached to it that she plans to give to her baby, so that she and Alphinaud could warp to their side at any thing. 

Alphinaud and Illya do A LOT of reading to prepare themselves, they’d often pour through hours and hours worth of information in order to educate themselves on what is best for their baby. 

Alphinaud loves pressing his ear against Illya’s belly and talking to the baby, and they both read a lot of books out loud. They often fall asleep on the couch together, wrapped in a blanket with Alphinaud’s head against her belly and her hand brushing his hair. 

Illya also sings lullabies to her tummy a lot, which inevitably ends with Alphinaud falling asleep on her lap. If she isn’t singing to her tummy, she’s humming while doing something else like knitting or reading. 

Illya takes a lot of walks and makes it a point to do light exercises even while pregnant. She was told that it’s good for expecting mothers to do so, for both the baby and to hopefully lessen labour pains. Alphinaud asks Illya to not do it unless she has somebody accompanying her but of course she doesn’t always listen. 

The baby’s first kick causes Illya to freeze completely in place and Alphinaud panics when he sees her just standing there. He nearly runs to  call the chirurgeon but Illya just stops and giggles as she stops him. “No, no. It’s okay. I just.. felt a little nudge.” Alphinaud drops to a knee and immediately presses his hand against her belly to feel yet another kick. And to say he’s over the moon would be an understatement. He scoops Illya up and kisses her forehead.

Word about the warrior of light’s pregnancy starts to get out and they are sent hampers containing gifts as well as a lot of congratulations fan letters. Some noteworthy gifts are a doman tea set along with a note that explains how it’s good for rejuvenating expecting mothers, tiny scarves and mittens with the Ishgardian emblem sewn on them, kupo nuts, medical supplies and flower bouquets from the elder seedseer herself. 

Alisaie often stops by to accompany Illya. ‘Accompany’ is just another word for babysitting, really. Alphinaud expresses worry for Illya’s insistence to keep working even while working and for once, Alisaie completely agrees with her brother. Illya’s not even allowed to hold a broom while Alisaie’s around. They also get several other visits from others.

When Rielle and Sidurgu visit her and Sidurgu is visibly awkward when he sees Illya dressed in maternal clothing and stuck on the couch under a disgruntled elezen woman’s watch. Usually when he meets Illya, she’s in a full suit of armor. 

Melkoko drops off lunchboxes on the front door and doesn’t extend her visit much out of fear of bothering Illya’s rest. Illya goes to visit Leveva, who unsurprisingly already foretold of Illya’s pregnancy and congratulates her by giving her a set of supplements she’d prepared before hand. Sylphie and Getty surround Illya and begin to bombard her with questions when she visits them at the conjurer’s guild. Redolent rose is too busy to visit Illya, but has his best set of baby sized berets sent over to her home. 

PLOT TWIST

When it came time to ask about the baby’s gender, they were about to go visit the chirurgeon when Krile stops them and notes that... there’s two separate aetheric bodies in Illya’s belly.

Y’shtola and the chirurgeon confirms it - they’re having twins. A boy and a girl.

Alphinaud’s panicking because he thinks the supplies he bought isn’t enough and Illya has to beg him not to order yet another 5 years worth of supplies. They compromise and go for 2. Their storage room still has a good amount of baby supplies even after the twins outgrow needing them.

They begin making preparations to welcome the second baby, with another baby cot, Illya crafts another set of baby clothing and a second aetheryte bracelet and of course, even more vigilant babysitting from Alisaie. They prep the nursery with even more plush toys, though Illya suggests that they save room so she can sew plushies of their babies afterwards too.

Illya’s belly really starts to expand and feels heavy as a result of her carrying twins and it’s difficult even for a workaholic for her to bring herself to walk for long periods. She’s stuck at home during the last two months of her pregnancy as a result. She sometimes vomits and loses her appetite, and at other times she eats a whole lot more than she usually does. 

Illya has difficulty sleeping, and suffers from back pain and when the babies stretch, she also feels slight pain in her ribs and it’s led to a lot of late night moments of panic from Alphinaud. She assures him that she’s fine though. Alphinaud gives her a lot of massages and brings her tea and snacks when she gets the munchies.

Alphinaud begins to work a lot harder and does lots of overtime on his work so that he can spend more time at home with Illya after she gives birth. 

They have a bit of trouble picking out names because they hadn’t exactly expected to get twins. But they eventually settle for Ipheion and Eulalie Leveilleur, both named after flowers.

IT’S BIRTH TIME

Illya’s water breaks while she’s baking cookies and she drops the tray of them onto the floor and sends Alphinaud running out of his office. He calls the linkpearl to the chirurgeon as calmly as he can and he seems to be cool as ice even when he’s carrying Illya out to the garden but Illya can tell from his arms that he’s shaking. Alphinaud’s read about this about a hundred times already but he still can’t shake how terrified he is now that he’s finally having to confront the process. 

Alphinaud refuses to leave Illya’s side for the entirety of her labor and even before that. By Krile and Alisaie’s request, he also calls them to inform them of Illya going into labour and they quickly rush over. 

He holds Illya’s hand and tells her that it’s okay and reassures her that she’s doing well. Her labour pains last significantly longer due to having twins. Illya’s pain tolerance is extremely high, but childbirth is on a completely different level and Alphinaud curses the twelve for not being able to do anything to lessen the pain for her.

Alphinaud wipes Illya’s sweat with a napkin and his throat grows parched from how much he talks to her.

The baby boy is the first to be delivered and Alphinaud is given the baby to hold, but he can’t bring himself to celebrate just yet. With his free hand, he continues holding Illya. By this point, they’re both thoroughly exhausted and Alphinaud’s hand is numb from how Illya squeezes him but they press on until she finally delivers the girl. 

Illya passes out for a brief moment but regains consciousness to find her two babies wrapped up in Alphinaud’s arms, and she can’t help but to burst into tears. They each carry one, and Alphinaud is speechless. He’s a man of much eloquence but even he can’t describe the sheer joy of what he’s feeling at the moment.

Alisaie also begins crying when she sees the infants for the first time but she’s not crying, she swears!! Krile checks on Illya’s vitals very very thoroughly and insists that Illya rest, which she does. She ends up sleeping for a good 10 hours until she wakes up and asks to hold her baby immediately. 

The scions visit the new parents one by one so as to not disturb them too much and all give their blessings to them and their newborn twins. Y’shtola in particular notes that their aetheric bodies are healthy and also surprisingly stronger than most newborns she’s seen. G’raha and Alisaie argue over who each of the babies resemble more. Tataru enters the room carting a trolley full of food and supplements for Illya to eat. No more cooking until she’s fully recovered - and she does mean fully. It’s the first time Illya agrees to finish her archon loaf. 

Alphinaud often falls asleep on the chair next to the bed with a baby against his chest. 

When they finally get to go home with the babies, they are almost by their babies’ sides 24/7.. not that it would be hard for them too especially with many sleepless nights and baby cries awaiting them. 

They celebrate the twins one month anniversary by inviting their friends over and they are given lots of gifts. Alphinaud asks Estinien to be their baby’s godfather. Estinien refuses.

The first time they bring the babies to the Rising Stones, everyone there just surrounds them and clamours to get a chance to hold the babies. 

Illya sews plushies of her twins and they now permanently reside next to plushie Illya and plushie Alphinaud