#at the very least they’re definitely trauma buddies

[velvet-gloom]

[singingvio]

For the DnD au!

Favorite head cannon for each ship, or at least a few of them? I recall pretty much everyone could be with pretty much everyone, so I'd love to hear abt them

Ooh boy let’s do this!

Red and Vio are twins! So they are very obviously not on this list as a ship.

GREEN/VIO: I love the ship trope of “chubby and short” x “thin and lanky” and this is them. If they cuddle Vio is infinitely more comfortable than Green is because Green is basically holding a skeleton, but he’s ok with that because it’s a cute skeleton

GREEN/RED: These two are the type of couple where one of them is cooking and the other one sneaks up behind them and gives them a surprise kiss and they both get covered in flour

GREEN/BLUE: “are they dating or are try trying to kill each other” why not both? They’re definitely more mild than in the manga, but when they start to argue over something it’s probably going to be a coin flip of whether they’ll start wrestling like there’s no tomorrow or if they’ll make out. Usually it’s the former option and Blue usually wins.

GREEN/SHADOW: the way they get together is Shadow randomly grabs Green’s hand one day, kisses it, says “we’re dating now,” and Green has to take a minute to realize what just happened. He’s fine with what happened, he’s just also utterly baffled.

BLUE/VIO: Brains and brawn duo. They’re sitting on the couch watching some sappy romance movie and Vio steals some of Blue’s popcorn. Blue curses him out. Vio threatens to kill his entire family in retaliation. Blue says “do it, you won’t.” They’re in love.

BLUE/RED: golden retriever x angry chihuahua on steroids

BLUE/SHADOW: these two know everything about each other, they’ve been friends since elementary school. They know each other’s secrets, traumas, and weak points, and they also know what the other absolutely loves. They’re 16 and getting ready to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary.

RED/SHADOW: Red gets told he has scary dog privileges with dating Shadow. Shadow proceeds to correct whoever said that, clarifying that Red is the scary dog. They go on cute little dates all the time, like to the park or mall or to get ice cream. They share a milkshake that they drink with heart shaped straws.

VIO/SHADOW: They’d be the most sappy, lovey-dovey duo in their school, sickly sweet and everything, so clearly in love, as adorable as they can be when they’re both a little scary, and they’d unanimously get voted “best bromance” for the yearbook. Historians say they were quite good chums. Pals. Buddies.

[splendidbadger]

So, what is your Transformers Fan Continuity like? 🤩

Ok ok so Neo:U is a next gen au in a sense? Many fankids bc i adore sparklings and odd crackships that ended up weirdly wholesome. I made it with my bf @official-big-gay-fish

Basically in Neo:U Megatron as the Decepticon leader never lost his way at least in the sense no violence he comitted was against his fellow con, his fight was ALWAYS to liberate the lower caste and cold forged. When he realized the Autobots who in this AU are spear headed by the Senate ( Optimus and those who follow him are a splinter faction of the original Senate controlled Autobots who want to prevent either side from destroying Cybertron and end things peacefully) were going to win he boarded every con the nemesis and left Cybertron. (This is a whole other thing i can get into) Optimus determined to find his old friend travels the starts with his splinter group of Autobots to find them upon discovering the Senate intends to either kill or reprogram every con the capture. Eventually they find Earth and due to low energon reserves they stay there for a while and ironically never interact with humans lmao.

Anyways the main crux of the story is Hot Rod is appointed head of the Survey Corps. where and his group scour Earth for resources and to learn about humans to live in peace with them in the future. Everything’s going great until they run into a group of cons.

Hot Rod being the person he is and not wanting to lose his freedom on Earth convinces everyone to stay quiet. This leads to shenanigans and multiple accidental interactions with the con kids. Especially since this au they use holoavatars a lot. Overtime to keep the peace and keep everyone safe and maybe a bit of curiosity they all truce which turns into friendship. a lot of the story revolves around these kids uncovering their past of a war ravaged planet, who their parents were during the war, coming to terms with trauma (especially generational oop), and finally ending said war. Also uhhhhh oops sorry kids you may be buddies now but hey haha whats that in sky? On no its scourge and the terrorcons.

You get a lot of high tension awkward interactions with the autobot and con kids! I say kids but they’re basically robot 25 which is absolutely baby to the old bots.

Autobots are

Hotrod (this hot rod is a MTO but my god no one will ever know outside Optimus and Ratchet) your typical Hot Rod stuff, big loud jokester who never takes anything seriously and hates himself. He has a Situationship with Magnus that he doesn’t wanna think about.

Strongarm- Shes Jazz and Prowls kid in this universe, looks like Jazz unfortunately takes after Prowl. A lot of her story is unpacking the beliefs Prowl instilled into her. She’s socially awkward and sucks at reading the room, but is very into music and singing. She also finds out she loves fighting and spars with everyone!!

Cloudchaser- One of my OCs, was found in the ruins of Vos as a sparkling by Wheeljack and Ratchet. They tried to find her family but do to what happened to Vos there’s very few flyers in the Autobots making trying to find them dangerous. So now she has a mad scientist grandpa and a grouchy grandpa. Clouds a very bubbly, chatty person. She’s the autobot gossip, if its a rumor Cloud knows it. If its sensitive info Cloud knows it. Cloud is super competent but she hides that behind a hyper egotistical, sassy, bratty mask because she has mixed feelings on being an autobot. Shes Hot Rods amica, and one of the only ones who knows hes a MTO.

Starpursuit- My bfs fankid of Elita-1 and Arcee. They’re a motorcycle and use they/she/he. Pursuits the type if they don’t respect you she’s not listening, they got that bullheadedness in them. Hes definitely a bit obsessive and intense at times, they get bored easy and love fun so shes easily swayed into Hot Rod shenanigans. Shes got the worlds biggest crush on Strongarm.

Metamelody- Another fankid of the bf. He’s Ironhide and Chromias! Hes a big ass van, almost as big as his sire. Mel is extremely soft and sweet. He’s shy, and despite being a ruler follower like Strongarm is easily pulled into shenanigans. He joined Hot Rods crew because he doesn’t know how to tell Ironhide he doesn’t want to go into weapons op, he wants to be a musician.

Decepticon kids

Nitrobreak-BFs oc whose the kid of my characters Cursor and Blackdirge. Nitrobreak is Hot Rods foil, he as zero worrys or doubts about his position as his crews leader. He’s confident and wears it well and it frustrates Hot Rod. Hes well loved amongst his faction and has a very healthy understanding of who he is. His challenge in life is all external vs Hot Rods internal struggles. They hate each other at the start

Blacklight- BFs oc, unfortunately Shockwaves child. If you acknowledge this or bring it up Blacklight will maul you. They were conceived when Shockwave was still a senator, and came into life during the war but because Neonstreak their carrier is a NAIL they never experienced it. They have complicated feelings about Shockwave, they’re scared of him but they love him, they’re obsessed with him, they want to understand him and work with him in energon conservation. They ARE daddy issues.

Dragstrip- Swindles kid because I made a joke they look similar and it somehow stuck. Devious trickster bastard, will sell everything and everyone for a single cornchip minus his carrier.

Wildbreak- u kno the joke wilbreak rid15 is breakdown and knockouts kid? Yeah yeah 100% hes still the awkward shy easily started person hes shown as in rid15. He wants to be a nurse and studies under his sire!

Jetlag- remember when I mentioned some of the ships that were crack ships that became canon? Yeah Jetlags the result of one of those crackships. Hes Skywarp and Thunderhoofs kid. Hes a seeker, but has fuck all antlers and hoof peedes instead of heels. He’s a bit stupid, and continuously bonks people with his antlers by accident. He has a crush on Blacklight but never wants to admit it because he knows Blacklights so scared of becoming Shockwave he doesn’t even want to attempt relationships.

[landoftheway]

Thoughts on Lisa: The Definitive Edition

Finished all of the new content in both Painful and Joyful, and after giving it some time to sit I’ve got some thoughts about all of it. Below the cut for both length and spoilers:

The Painful

To start with, I love the new campfire scenes. They’re funny, heartwarming, and everything in between, and I actually like that they’re locked behind both the RNG of resting and specific requirements for certain scenes (having enough characters, progressing far enough, either taking or not taking Joy, etc.). It incentivizes people to actually use those rest opportunities instead of just farming mags and resting at an inn.

Brad’s Nightmare scenario is generally very good, but even I think it drags on a little longer than necessary. That said I really like both the fight itself and the lore both before and after it. It really gets across how deep the roots of Brad’s trauma go (a metaphor that I’ll come back to in the Joyful section below), and while ultimately it doesn’t change the outcome of his story it allows for both the audience to get a deeper insight into him and for him to have a moment of genuine reflection on his life, particularly allowing him to think about Lisa as the actual person she was and not the specter of grief and guilt he normally perceives her as. And while it IS possible to cheese the fight without losing anyone, I like the thematic resonance of Brad having to sacrifice the people around him and his connections to them in order to fight his inner-demons; it’s a cool way of tying that theme into a mechanical interaction the player can participate in.

The new sound and music changes are, unfortunately, weaker than the originals all around, but Jorgensen was very direct about the legal reasons they had to be made so there’s not much helping that. In the same way the changes made to the Playstation release are downright silly but also legally necessary for its release on that platform, so I get it.

The gameplay re-balancing seems fine all around. I should note that I did my playthrough on Pain Mode without using any Joy, so I stuck with the classic OP team of Terry, Birdie, and Nern, so for most of the game I had largely the same gameplay experience as my first time through. I do appreciate the inclusion of an EXP share for the party, since it made leveling everyone up at the EWC to get their level 25 abilities much easier and also helped get everyone prepped for the new superboss.

The Joyful

Much like the original release this new content is much more of a mixed bag compared to Painful, but overall I enjoyed it. To start with the least controversial aspect, I like the new Warlord abilities Buddy gets; they’re all both fun and interesting to use and definitely make playing as Buddy more engaging than how she used to be.

On a similar note, the new boss fight she has with apparitions of all the Warlords together is a fun bonus challenge. I particularly like that you can resolve it both by actually fighting them or just defending against them for several turns cause it ties into the ways Buddy is thematically different than Brad. Brad can only conceive of facing his guilt by fighting it due to both his past and having lived long enough for that mentality to become set in stone, but Buddy for all of her faults has at least the potential to see things outside of that dynamic (this being one of the crux’s of her final decision to take the vaccine or not).

The above aspect of Buddy is what ties into the more controversial part of the new content, which is the lead-up to the new ending and that ending itself. It’s worth stating at this point that a lot of this new content is very intentionally vague as to whether it’s literal or metaphorical. For example, the young Rick, Sticky, and Cheeks as well as the Dusty face all speak as ghosts of their adult selves, but in the same weird area we also see a young Bernard and Dusty that are definitely memories of the past. The setting of Olathe has always been one where the supernatural explicitly exists (fireballs, fingerbeams, etc.) and Lisa herself always kinda towed the line between shared hallucination and an actual ghost, so in that respect it’s nothing new for the game but it can definitely make what happens next difficult to parse.

The crux of the new ending is Buddy ���planting” Lisa inside herself, which radically alters her dialogue with Buzzo after Yado’s death. Whether this is literal or metaphorical is, again, vague as all hell. On one hand Buddy speaks to Buzzo about things she should ostensibly know little to nothing about and Buzzo accuses her of stealing Lisa away from him, which lends to the idea that this was in some way literal. On the other hand pretty much everything Buddy says to Buzzo are either things she could have feasibly (if a bit improbably) put together or else just things she could have said just to hurt him as much as possible, and Buzzo himself is in the process of becoming a Joy mutant and completely losing his mind, so it’s also possible this is all purely metaphorical. My personal interpretation lies somewhere in the middle but leans more towards the latter; while I think there’s probably some truth to the idea of Lisa as an actual specter/tulpa/whatever, I see most of this new stuff as not things that literally occurred as depicted (i.e. Buddy did not literally collect the items that are part of the puzzle to unlock this ending).

What the metaphor of all this is is pretty plainly stated by Brad in the epilogue, and ties back into the “roots” theming of the new content in Painful. Namely, that a strong and healthy foundation is needed in order for a person to grow into their best self, and that foundation is rooted in love for others and one’s self. Brad compares this to gardening, specifically noting how it requires both healthy soil and constant maintenance, and how a failure to do so can cause weeds already pulled to come back worse than ever. In other words, you need to both connect with and love others as a foundation and find ways to address stuff like pain and guilt regularly, or else they’ll plant their roots in your head and never really go away.

Looking at the new ending through this lens, Buddy “planting” Lisa in herself pretty obviously represents making a connection to her not as a burden of guilt and pain but as a human being. This is reflected in the accusations Buddy throws at Buzzo that for all of his supposed devotion to Lisa he’s still blaming her for driving him to become the man he is now, and how that shows his failure to actually connect to Lisa as a person. Buzzo might claim that he loved her, but it’s abundantly clear he just sees her a justification to direct his pain outwards at the world around him. His accusations of Buddy “stealing” Lisa away from him can thus be viewed as her taking away his ability to think of her and “hear” her as he has up to this point. The final shot of the game is also connected to all of this: the figure holding Buddy could represent a number of specific individuals (the most notable candidates being either Lisa, Lisa and Brad’s mom, or Buddy’s mom), but more importantly it's a visual representation of Buddy having gained the ability to connect to, trust, and love others.

With all of that said, I do have a significant criticism of this new ending: Buddy’s dialogue with Buzzo is, in my opinion, kind of badly written. This was a problem in the original release of Joyful as well in my opinion, namely that the way Buddy talks is weirdly stilted at times compared to her more consistent flow of dialogue in the Painful. The things she’s saying are themselves perfectly fine (as someone who loves to hate Buzzo I particularly enjoyed someone calling him out on what a fucking manchild he is), but her phrasing comes across like it’s waffling between a bitter and blunt way of speech and a more formal and precise tone of voice. So the end result is a sequence with a great essence at its core but a weak execution, which like I said at the start is nothing if not consistent with Joyful’s original release.

TL;DR

Painful DE is great except for the music changes, Joyful DE is weaker but still pretty good which is nothing new, get the game on PC if you haven’t already.

[sibylsleaves]

ngl i think itd be more likely for them to do family therapy with the three of them + individual therapy for buck and eddie where they have the other person included in their sessions from time to time? i havent had couples therapy but ive worked with different therapists that do couples therapy + had interest in being a therapist myself before and based on my knowledge usually thats for couples who have a lot of disagreements/fighting/problems within their relationship that they need a third party perspective on and need help learning how to communicate

like ofc buddie has had conflict but the rare times they have theyve resolved it themselves pretty well??? even their “divorce” era was more about eddie missing buck rather than eddie being mad about the lawsuit itself and eddie’s pstd arc basically established that they’re there for each other through everything and 709 and 710 proved that

DEFINITELY think they should have sessions discussing stuff like the tsunami, the well, the shooting, buck dying etc though because damn 😭

yeah i'm not sure why you would go to couple's therapy if you were just kind of having regular run-of-the-mill type relationship conflicts. so it's not something i necessarily see happening for Eddie and Buck because on the whole their communication is actually very good. therapy is also expensive!!!! and unfortunately our healthcare system SUCKS and a lot of therapy ends up not being fully covered, so.

my family member specializes in trauma therapy and i'm sure they would have a FIELD DAY with these three...although a lot of trauma therapy is not really what people think. like it's less about delving into memories of specific trauma, and more about becoming more aware of the coping mechanisms you have in response to past trauma that are not serving you in your current life and developing new, better coping strategies. so i guess more about addressing the impact of trauma on your day-to-day life than like, ruminating on the trauma itself. at least in CBT- and DBT-based therapy

[thegayestdiaz]

Quick preface: i am being legit 100% genuine and just kind wanted to put my thoughts out there. This is not like me trying to call you out or be mad at you specifically or anything like that. I just like saw one of your posts and it kinda touched a nerve, in a way that felt like you definitely didnt intend for it sound or be like, and i wanted to like idk engage civilly and talk about like word choice and semantics lol. Thats also why im like sending this via ask and not a comment or reblog of the post, so like you have the choice whether you wanna engage with it publicly or privately or not at all.

So like in the post youre talking about how in the 7x10 BuckTommy scene that tommy’s sarcastic humor doesn’t land. And like and that’s literally totally fine. But its also like your opinion. Just like my opinion that it does land and that they do have chemistry yk? Its just like :/ when people (not just you like as a greater trend in the fandom discourse) state their opinion as fact when it is an opinion.

And like, to get all evidencery, i would say that Buck reacts to the sarcastic jokes by smiling and laughing and reciprocating the humor, which tells us that at the very least he likes it, or/and that the writers intended for it to be read that way. But thats still just my opinion of my interpretation of the scene.

The other big thing that made me kind :/ was when you wrote

“it’s the fact that they’re trying to claim that bummy have this close, intimate relationship without showing us any vulnerability or intimacy.”

(and again not saying youre like a bad person for writing this or anything like that, just being a nerd that likes talking about linguistics and semantics and how people communicate and wanting to do that better)

So like i know its just how ppl talk, but again its saying that its a “fact” when it is your interpretation. One that i like whole heartedly disagree with. ESPECIALLY in regard to the “daddy kink” scene. Like as a bisexual man who very much is into kink, talking about kinks with new partners is Incredibly intimidating and intimate and vulnerable and difficult. And yeah, we often talk about it using humor because especially when its connected to traumas its often easier to talk about it with a lighter air. But that doesnt take away from the seriousness or intimacy of whats being discussed. When i watched that scene if felt like really genuine and legitimately representational of what its like trying to feel out how your partner feels about kinks, and especially the fact that buck is the one to start it by asking tommy if they both have daddy issues, masking his nerves with a flirty jokey tone, it was so real and great to see.

And i get it, not everyone has the same relationship with kink or queer subtextual flirting, but that kinda the point. Scenes hit different for different people, ships hit different, and thats fine, thats how it works. I dont expect everyone to get like teary eyed over a daddy kink joke or absolutely love BuckxTommy, but i do wish people remembered more that other people have different experiences and connections to stuff like this. Like sure i ship buddie, but im 1000 time more excited by the fact that Buck is a fucking canonical bisexual character. Would buddie be cool, hell yeah! Would i love to see Eddie figure out hes like gay and deconstruct his comphet HELL YEAH. But rn bucks the one thats actually queer, and hes getting his queer storyline and im fucking excited for that! And them bringing Tommy back, whos entire character gets a whole other level of gay angst with the context that he was deeply closeted in the flashbacks we saw him in before, like i love that to!

And again i very much do not think you are like willfully or wantonly trying to do anything bad, nor am i trying to tell you how to engage in fandom or how to talk. I just wanna like share my thoughts and feelings about fandom discourse and communication. (also like very chose to send to you cause i like your posts and think youre chill lol)

(Also also not trying to be like the word police, just a hey btw: lots of queer guys in the fandom myself included are p uncomfortable with ppl using “bummy” as a shipname. Its like a lil to close to the like “bum boy” slur and just yeah feels 😬)

this sat in my inbox for so long i forgot about it i’m sorry.

i think talking about kinks in a new relationship is basically essential so that wasn’t my problem. it’s about the context. if the conversation had been in a kind of flirty, sexually charged scene it would’ve been completely fine. it’s that he chose to make the joke when buck was having an emotional moment about bobby almost dying. like if it was him being a little awkward and trying to lighten the mood and he kinda went “sorry i didn’t know what to say so i tried to make you laugh,” i would’ve found it cuter but because the scene takes itself seriously it feels like such an out of place reaction. and he starts out with “but your dad’s alive.” i don’t understand the writers’ intention there because it comes off as dismissive since he just moves past that when he had a great opportunity to have a conversation about buck’s feelings towards his parents. overall my feelings have nothing to do with the joke itself and if they had put it anywhere else it would’ve had more appeal. you say people have different experiences when talking about kink but honestly who wants to be pivoted into that conversation after they’ve just decided to be open and vulnerable with their partner about something as serious as death and parental issues? it would’ve been nice to have tommy comforting and reassuring buck, maybe expanding on the story of his own parental issues like the scene alluded to. that would’ve made it clear that yes this man takes the situation seriously and genuinely cares about buck without a doubt. and besides the two scenes i mentioned from 7x04 and 7x05 tommy spends most of his screen time killing buck’s vibe. the closet joke which was funny in the moment but would’ve outed buck if eddie wasn’t the most oblivious person on the planet, leaves buck on the sidewalk because he “wasn’t ready” (why even date a newly discovered and not out bisexual man?), doesn’t dress up and dismisses buck being upset, getting their medals and telling buck to “enjoy it while it lasts” when he was excited. besides the hospital kiss what other close and intimate moments are there?

and in regards to the ship name i got it from other queer people and i use it because shippers come into my inbox complaining i’m in the official ship tag spreading hate and it was the first ship name people came up with.

[flowercrowngods]

For the spotify number challenge: felt like the proper Eddie way to do it. Gay dice say 51

A/N: kdfhjd bless you for this omg. you were already my favourite but damn, this is a very Eddie move and I am kissing your hands very gently 🫶🤍

Alan Walker – Alone (2016) 

In which Steve learns that sometimes, being there for someone means that they can be there for you, too. | 702 words of h/c

Steve took one look at Eddie in that hospital bed after the end of everything and decided that Eddie Munson wouldn’t have to go through it alone. Through all the trauma, the bad dreams, the insomnia, the crippling fear of opening your closet and finding it has become another gate into the Upside Down. Eddie – pale, vulnerable Eddie who looked so vulnerable and small in the too white, too glaring hospital bed – wouldn’t have to be alone. Not if Steve had any say in it. Which he did, because he could be as stubborn as any mother. 

“Hey, buddy,” he had whispered to Eddie as he woke up. It was the middle of the night and Steve was the only one here. “Hey.” He took Eddie’s hand in his, wrapped them around it to warm Eddie up. “You’re safe, Eddie. They’re fine, they’re okay. You saved them. All of them. You’re a hero, okay?” 

Eddie’s eyes drooped then, and Steve smiled, held onto his hand and squeezed. 

“You get so sleep now, Eds. I’ll be here when you wake up. You won’t be alone, I promise.” 

He watched as the boy fell asleep and his heart ached. So did his entire body, but that was to be expected when several pounds of skin and flesh were suddenly missing. Eddie held onto his hand even in sleep and Steve didn’t have the heart to make him let go. So he grabbed the pillow he’d been given by one of the kinder nurses and settled on the floor beside Eddie’s bed, leaning against the wall, careful not to dislodge any of the machinery beeping and moaning and groaning way too loud in a constant reminder of what they’d endured. 

Steve fell asleep with Eddie’s hand in his for the first time in that hospital room. 

**

You don’t have to do this alone. I’m here for you. If you ever need someone, you know how to reach me, yeah? If you need a change of scenery, my door is always open for you, Munson. 

It becomes a theme. Steve is very aware that his offers, his promises, become pleas at some point. He doesn’t know when, he doesn’t know how. But sometimes, when he tells Eddie to come over when he can’t sleep, to call when he needs to, to show up whenever, he knows he is secretly hoping that Eddie will come, that Eddie will be there. Because Steve is tired of being alone. 

And Steve is tired, period, because he can’t fall asleep without thinking of Eddie’s hand in his anymore. Just something to hold onto, something to focus on when he’s yearning for darkness but ultimately still too afraid of it to turn off the lights. 

And the crazy thing? Eddie takes him up on his offers after a while. Eddie finds the pleas, digs them out of the depths of Steve’s heart and cradles them like they’re something precious. Eddie holds him like he’s precious. He comes over in the middle of the night, lets himself into Steve’s house and walks up the stairs silently, takes off his shoes in Steve’s room and joins him in bed. Not to do anything other than be there, be here, just be.

Not alone, Steve thinks as he reaches for Eddie’s hand, the pain in his throat fading to a bearable level as their fingers slot together. 

“Am I losing my mind?” they both ask at some point. Many, many times. Neither of them knows the answer to this, because a No feels too definitive, and Yes feels too real, so they let the question hang in the air above them, between them. If they are, then at least their lost minds won’t be alone either. 

They’ve got each other. 

Neither of them is ready to let go. Neither of them has to. The nights don’t last forever, neither do the nightmares or the shaking breaths they leave them with. 

But what does last forever is the feeling of Eddie’s hand in his, or the kiss he gets when Steve asks, pleas, begs, in a voiceless whisper, “Never let me go.” 

“Never.” 

And it’s a promise. 

[heinrix]

been wanting to do this post for a hot minute but uhh. oz and his opinions/relationships with the companions!

Shadowheart - She, in all her hardened exterior, reminded him immediately of his best friend from his universe, Penny. So Oz becomes rather attached to her quickly. They are snarky best friends, brother/sister, paladin/cleric duo do not separate! Oz, even though he’s not familiar with the gods in Faerûn definitely saw what Shar was doing to her as manipulation, especially with the holding her memories hostage as incentive made him think about his own situation and how basically his soul was held hostage by Monacco

Astarion - He reminds Oz of himself before he took the deal with Monacco, all obvious flamboyant facade and using sex as a tool. So, in seeing that, Oz rebuffed Astarion’s advances and simply wanted to help him heal from his trauma as a friend, if that means murdering the fuck out of his abuser then yeah he’s helping him complete that goal by any means necessary

Gale - Oh, Gale. Oz thought at first that he was a very funny little wizard, pretty confident in himself and his skills, which was attractive to say the least; Oz has a soft spot for articulate, intelligent men. He knew that he was physically attracted to Gale and definitely laid his flirtations on very thick but respected the distance Gale wanted to keep which was fair, this was all just fun, wasn’t it? Wrong! Act Two Beam!

Wyll - Oz really appreciates Wyll for being such a shining light in the darkness and if not a bit jealous of his attitude in the face of adversity; a little more than jealous, quite envious really. Oz was a bit worried what Wyll’s reaction would be when he found out Oz was technically a fiend but Wyll took it in stride and understood the nature of Oz’s situation with Monacco, and Wyll truly empathized with him about it. Oz, Wyll, and Karlach: Fuck fiends, all my homies hate fiends!

Lae’zel - In all honesty, Oz is quite intimidated by Lae’zel at first with her brash personality but he comes to see how scared she is to be caught up in the situation she’s in and empathizes with her (they’re both learning wtf a Faerûn is). He enjoys listening to her talk about githyanki culture, it reminds him a bit of Gale going off about magic. Oz probably asked Lae’zel, a bit timidly, if she could help him with his sword fighting technique (since he’s not really trained ever and was just sort of magically given proficiency), she gladly undertook the opportunity, they’re sparring buddies!

Karlach - Hot and cold besties! Immediately upon meeting Karlach and seeing how fucked by the Hells she’d been, Oz knew that they’d grow close; to which they did, both of them being on the frontline in every fight together also helped in making that bond even stronger. Similar to Lae’zel, Oz and Karlach would stay up some nights before a fight and strategize, mostly Karlach talking and Oz following orders to a tee the next day. Though, Oz has no excuse other than pure, selfish desire for having betrayed Karlach’s confidence in him when he decided to side with Enver

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Ok after starting to read hummingbird I see what you mean LOL hmmm if you wrote it for bllk would you be changing it into bllk/modern au? My first thought was also maybe Barou but actually thinking a little more I feel like if you stretched chigiri maybe…? Assuming there’s no actual killing I feel like in his most intense moments maybe….as we’ve seen him teasing Barou too he’s not AS serious as some others but yeah idrk LOL maybe that would work better on something more along the lines of rivals/lovers instead of enemies but hmmm OR alternative you could keep it in a similar au to jjk and warp a new universe out of it sorta like how you made hollyhock? I’m also kinda stumped tbh LOL

Your speed is unparalleled LMAO I think this is the first time I’ve seen anyone update that fast honestly

Bro the child neglect running rampant apparently??? To me it’s also even weirder like you had one child and knew you were gonna kinda neglect it and then had another??? Like oh yeah let’s give you a trauma buddy! What’s kinda interesting is how their mom at some point is worrying like “what should I do as a mother…” and the dad just goes “he’ll grow out of it” bro did not outgrow the freak stage

Also so true…I mean I’ve heard that Japan has a relatively good like…job security rate or wtv? Which is why a bunch of people also don’t care too much about grades because they can always manage to find some company to live out the salaryman life or something but yeah that’s still wild to me like say you dgaf about your kids without saying you dgaf?? Also unrelated but I wanna see yukis dad LOL we see a glimpse of his mom from one of the LN visuals but his dad is nowhere to be seen

LMAO the soccer infection from bllk is actually so funny!! I think the most I’ve gotten is like people making TikToks of like tutorials on how to do a certain move from bllk but that’s about it LOL

I’m about to go back to the manga and try and see who has offers from where LOL although iirc they’re mostly all from the same country as the current stratum they’re in but

-Karasu anon

HAHA it’s def a very unique story that’s for sure!! i would def have it in more of an au (kind of like how hollyhock is) to keep with the themes of the story…LMAO it’s a stumper for sure i will think on it more once i’m finished with bfb!! i keep falling asleep when i’m meant to be writing so the progress there has been a bit slow unfortunately 😩 worst comes to worst there is a 7-8 hour plane ride in my very near future so i will DEFINITELY finish it then

FR when i’m in the zone and not too busy (which unfortunately i have been a bit busy as of late) i write super quickly so i usually don’t feel too bad abt not updating super quickly when i don’t have the time 😭

i feel like the itoshi parents weren’t horrible (they seem pretty chill according to sae’s egoist bible once he’s in spain) it just feel to me like they don’t really know what to do w their kids who are so into soccer ykwim…like they were given two relatively abnormal children and maybe w sae it was manageable as he seems to be pretty mature but with rin they just had 0 idea what to do and let sae handle it because it seemed like he could…and yeah i feel like most kids are lowkey freaks when they’re younger so itoshi dad wasn’t entirely wrong they just didn’t handle it well + rin is a special case because he never stopped being crazy 😭

LMAO maybe they just realized early on that sae is not a thinker 😰 whenever people think he’s smart i’m just like…canonically he is the OPPOSITE and same with rin 😭 omg i bet yuki’s dad would be a dilf maybe that’s why we didn’t get to see him 😓 they are GATEKEEPING!!

i can’t escape soccer now 😩 and yeah i agree i think for the most part it’s pretty much just offers from their NEL teams except for kaiser who got an offer from re al!! i hope if they go the club route then they at least go between clubs or smth so we can expand on characters that haven’t had much time to shine lately

[rdng1230]

I don’t know if you want a real answer so please feel free to ignore if you don’t. This will in no way contain any buddie bashing, this is just me trying to explain what I like about bucktommy and why I’m willing to focus my attention on their relationship more, at least for the time being.

For me it’s a bunch of things. First off, I really really love buddie and I love their relationship and the family they’ve built together. They have lots of chemistry and a deep bond that I very easily could see becoming an official romantic relationship. Heck, if Buck didn’t have a partner who he genuinely likes, and Eddie wasn’t going off the deep end with the whole Kim thing, I would be actively rooting for them to go for it. Except, they just never have. You can put that down to buck’s rejection dysphoria or Eddie’s trauma and romantic commitment phobia or a whole bunch of external reasons, but despite 5+ years of that relationship, neither of them has made a move to push it forward. It’s not that I think buddie is purely platonic, I DEFINITELY DO NOT, it’s just that I don’t know what at this point would cause one of them to take the romantic leap when like, 4 near death experiences and granting custody of his literal child didn’t cut it, you know?

I do think it is sad that buddie has thus far failed to recognize what is right in front of them. They could have an epic romantic love. And I’m totally not against them having it in the future if for one reason or another tommy and Buck don’t work out and Eddie gets it together with his lingering issues. But I don’t love them so much that I think both of them should close themself off from potential partners who show genuine interest and compatibility with them in the meantime if they’re gonna continue to not make a move. Sometimes that’s life, there’s lots of love but it just never pans out, and you can’t stay stuck in that love that isn’t going anywhere.

I think so much of why I love Buck and Tommy comes down to what Buck wrote in his letter to Abby upon leaving her apartment “I will always love you, but I do know that I am done waiting” for me, Tommy is the guy that isn’t going to make Buck wait any longer. In the same way his residual feelings about Abby didn’t prevent Buck from falling in love with Eddie (and I do think he fell in love with Eddie), buck’s residual feelings for Eddie isn’t stopping him from falling in love with Tommy (maybe they’re not full on in love yet, but that boy is crushing HARD). Anywho, once Buck comes out and says “I wanted your attention” Tommy kisses him nearly instantaneously. (Btw I fully acknowledge opinions vary a lot on the whole “Tommy’s vs. Eddie’s attention thing, even i think it’s a bit of both.)

You’re absolutely right, we haven’t seen a lot of Buck and Tommy together, but they seem to genuinely like each other and show up for each other, can’t stop smiling around one another, and most crucially COMMUNICATE with each other when they get it wrong ( “I wanted to clear the air and say that was never my intention”, “no bad blood just bad behavior”, “I think you’re adorable, I just don’t think you’re ready”, “clearly there’s a lot we don’t know about each other and I would like to change that”, “you already know that I’m interested”, “I know that I’m ready for something and I think that something could be with you”) they’re just so refreshingly OPEN specifically about a desire for a romantic attachment between them, and for me it’s what draws me to them. There’s no jumping into bed like with Taylor, there’s no ethical issue of having rescued her or fear about the danger of buck’s job like there was with Ali. Buck gets so nervous about abandonment and being too much, and here comes Tommy “down to go to a family wedding as a second date, wants to teach this boy how to fly a damn helicopter” Kinard ready to show Buck what being courted really feels like. Even when the dates themselves aren’t necessarily shown, reading between the lines tells me things are good with them. Like Bobby says, I know they’re doing well “because we haven’t had to talk about it”

my mind also returns to the old couple Buck was so impacted by. “You don’t find love like that you make it” it is undeniable that Buck and Eddie love each other and have built a life together, but they haven’t built a romantic commitment with one another whereas Tommy and Buck are building one right now. I think every person has a lot of people they are capable of building a great love with, but that only happens when one of them makes the leap. Buck and Tommy have, Buck and Eddie haven’t. For me I like the construction Buck and Tommy have already started on, more than I am attached to the “maybe someday” potential of Buck and Eddie’s. But that is very much changeable based on future events.

Maybe I wasn’t the right person to respond because I haven’t fully jumped ship on buddie. But I hope this kinda clears up where some of the bucktommy people are coming from. Buck’s relationship with Tommy is just exactly the kind I’ve been wanting for him. Someone solid, open about their intentions, genuinely smitten with him, and doesn’t keep him guessing. That to me is Tommy, and that’s why I really hope those two get a fair shot.

I understand the love for bucktommy in relation to allowing Buck to finally embrace the part of him he hadn’t really known was there. It’s a monumental moment for him.

But I don’t understand the love for them in that so many people seem to regard them as an amazing couple. We’ve barely seen them together. I don’t feel like we really have that much to go on.

This isn’t shaming anyone for that ship, I just find it a little confusing because they’ve been seen together barely more than when Buck was with Ali.

I think I mostly find it confusing when people throw Buddie away in favor of Bucktommy. I just don’t really get it because Buddie has now six seasons of love and build up and being each others family.

[madrigaldoor]

Hot take:

Even though “All of You” is a banger and brings tears to my eyes every time it didn’t fix everything

(We need a sequel or a series)

The movie only really solved Luisa, Isabella, and Maribel’s problems. And that’s only if Luisa can actually take a break every once in a while and if Isabella can go through intense soul searching. Bruno is back and forgiven but he definitely has a long way to go healing from his trauma, rebuilding relationships, and gaining everyone’s trust again.

Other than that the movie barely touches on the other characters and I think they deserve a big therapeutic songs and love too.

Julietta’s gift is healing through cooking and that’s very beautiful and important. But imagine how much time she spends in the kitchen with no help in order to make three meals (for 12+ people) everyday and then make food to heal a significant amount of people. She would totally relate to Luisa feeling like she’s “worthless if [she] can’t be of service” but the thing is that while Luisa can take a day off she Julietta can’t. Someone else can round up the donkeys and she can move the church later but Julietta can’t leave people hungry or in pain. She takes care of everyone and gets very little recognition. In the movie and in the fan world.

Obviously we know Pepa’s gift sucks. She walks on eggshells with her own emotions. Normal people can afford to break down everyone once in a while but if she does she could possible kill someone in a hurricane or a flood. Imagine thinking about that anytime you had a big emotion. You would feel like a monster. Pepa also deserve more than a single verse about her brother. She was mad about something that happened at least 22 years ago bc Delores is 22. Bruno left 10ish years before the song. She obviously wasn’t mad at him for 12 years. They had to have talked about it. There was more to the song. She probably had so many complex emotions that she deserves to explore. She was sad, she was hurt. She definitely didn’t know why. Maybe part of her thought it was her fault.

I think Camilo’s gift makes them really happy because it seems to suit him. But Camilo probably also feels like no one likes the real them And if I had that gift I would change everything I hated about myself and where would it end? Over time would I even be me? How could you tell the difference? Would Camilo recognize himself in the mirror? Would they avoid mirrors? They live their life in service to others similar to Julietta and Luisa except that Camilo’s physically changes to become other people. That must be so confusing. IF ANYONE DESERVES A SONG AND A HUG IT IS CAMILO.

I’ve seen a lot of people talk about Dolores and her feeling overwhelmed because of too much sound. But also the burden of everyone’s secrets. She knew Bruno was in the walls. What else does she know. She probably spends so much time worrying about other people. When she heard Mirabel’s secret it looks like it was killing her. She physically could not keep it in. She should have had a more important role than her thing with Mariano. She could’ve helped with Mirabels “quest”. There was so much potential. Also sorry if I sound like a broken record but…

She deserves a song. We deserve a song from her. She is such a cool character with a beautiful voice. I jus want to hear what she has to say.

Anyway,

I have no idea about Antonio. I think he will probably have it the best out of anyone because the family will grow emotionally as he gets older and he will probably be spared from emotional trauma.

I would also love to talk more about the dads because I love them immensely. Everything I learn about them I love more and more. BUT they’re more of supporting character and I think a sequel should give them a bigger role. I think Felix and Augustín are buddies. Camilo definitely looks up to both of them and I think that F and A take their sons/nephews on little bonding trips.

[silkjade]

The wedding dates was so original and fun! Ty for blessing my dash. It was really great. If I may ask, what about the Genshin guys with the Island adventure? How would they like the domains? The Fatui run ins? Do they know Alice? Beach vibes, even?

My bad if this isn’t what you asked for but it’s how I interpreted your ask ahahaha :’)

So we know the domains are based on the character’s most vulnerable moments right

ayato and itto are both pretty well adjusted and have both come to terms with their past so they see their struggles as something they’re proud of having overcome. i’m going to throw diluc in this category as well based on his recent event; when you finish his domain he takes it in an “it is what it is” kind of way

I really want ayato’s domain to mirror kazuha’s. personally I think it’s very poetic, two noble houses that fell from grace together; and while one further descends, the other rises to the top

I think thoma still has some unresolved trauma he tries to hide like his survivor’s guilt or how he never found his dad so he’d be hesitant

making xiao go through his most vulnerable moments right after perilous trail??? plssss give this man a break 😭

kaeya would love going into other people’s domains but his own? it’s a naur from him. his domain would be the prettiest though bc omg khaenri’ah reveal?

childe would like play it off like it’s no big deal “aw are you worried about me” and then it’s the most traumatic thing you’ve ever witnessed (just abyss things <3)

good luck to zhongli if he’s with people who don’t know he’s a literal god 😃👍

on a more serious note though any of the archon mirages would be insane. so much loss. zhongli’s mellowed out quite a bit so he’d be hesitant to show others all the violence and loss he’s endured

also the way each mirage is super personal but you have to go through it with a group of people LOL zero boundaries, we’re jumping right to lvl 10 friendship

pls diluc is a known menace to the fatui. this man is banned from snezhnaya. how would he react? it’s on sight, time for retri-

jk he can be convinced to help but very begrudgingly. everyone else would be a little more willing but kaeya, ayato, zhongli, and xiao I see being very wary especially upon finding out the truth of the device. childe secretly loves their family dynamic but won’t show it because he has a harbinger reputation to uphold

I think all the mondstadt men canonically know alice. I’m pretty sure everyone else also at least knows of her since she’s a famous adventurer and wrote teyvat travel guide. zhongli has definitely had a few run-ins

she’s probably been arrested before by the tenryou commission and itto was her jail buddy

random beach headcanon; childe burns in the sun but diluc tans. come on he’s out in the fields picking grapes mwah sun kissed king

[matan4il]

I loved your latest meta because I just adore Henren!!! But everything about it also reinforced why I have always been confident in Canon Buddie outside of the obvious reasons.

This show and I think why I at least connect to it is because the characters border on anti heroes who are full of trauma yet aspire to be the best heroes they can. And none of them are really each other's first love but they are all soul mates. The definition of second chances.

But I always excluded Karen a little in theat because I love that warm cinnamon roll. To me she was trauma adjacent. It was cute to see her quirkiness unveiled a little. And to also see how much her character really is like Bucks. They don't have the blaring trauma other characters do, alot of it really is internalized and easy to mask.

And all of the above sort of reinforces your thoughts on how nice it was to see older queer women be represented in sexy times, because isn't it the truth we get to see all these characters get represented. None really would be the hero in another show especially say Bobby.

So it always just screamed Buddie were end game because they were each other's second chances. There is no perfect partner waltzing into be a good match. Especially now I just don't see how they bring in any LI that will ever rival their history and importance to each other

Hi Nonnie! Awwwwww, I’m so glad we both love Henren so much! XD And yes, it made writing the 606 meta (and making this extra gifset) especially sweet, and incredibly poignant, because the parallels with the only current same-sex couple on the show were SO LOUD.

I agree with you that in general, the average age of the characters on 911 is older than on many shows. IDK them I would call them anti-heroes (protagonists who lack heroic qualities, and even when they do the right thing it’s likely for the wrong reason), but rather flawed heroes. Which is the best kind. Because they’re realistic. They’re not some fantasy that can only exist in entertainment, they can be real people we might come across without knowing, and real heroes when the need arises. They can even be us if the circumstances are right. Which I think is very comforting and empowering.

And yes, all of these flawed heroes have second chance love stories. 911 looked straight at the trope of first love as the only worthy kind of love and showed it that grace can reside in later life, in the person who mends your heart after it’s been shattered, in the person who sees the mess that first love left and says, “That. I want that.” Which perfectly encapsulates Henren, as well as Buddie. Eddie who sees how messed up Abby left Buck and it brings out the feral, protective side in him, and Buck who witnessed Eddie’s breakdown and lovingly helped him put the pieces back together... That’s the kind of love that can make miracles happen, because it feels like a bit of a miracle itself.

Hope you have a great day, lovely! And here is my ask tag! xoxox  

[scribble-brain-aced]

most coherent thing i’ve ever read.

but also yes!!! exactly!!! Vox literally told pentious to kill himself and yet, in It Starts With Starts, he definitely looks sad, but like… cartoonishly sad. not genuine “my idol hates me and i’m a useless failure” sad. just..

okay i can’t find it, but this gif actually helps make my point. he looks dramatic, which, yeah it fits, but again, COMEDICALLY, CARTOONISHLY dramatic. they couldn’t have make the movement feel more listless or sad?

and also the assault scene. i genuinely like the delivery, and the joke could work, BUT the implications.. definitely bad. i think it would work better if he wasn’t dragged into the room. you would see him in the background, fighting everyone off. he’s canonically a terrible fighter, but maybe show him hypnotizing them so he can explain that “WAIT, no, i just said something really stupid, i dont actually want this.” the club being called ‘Consent,’ it WOULD work, so that the audience is completely 100% sure that yes, he is fine, and maybe even see one of the club people giving him advice! better than dragging him into a room and leaving members of the audience worried.

and his death. ugh. alastor’s injury was treated more seriously! he’s not even dead! at the VERY LEAST, take out Adam’s line, but if i could have any say in the production, i would say to prolong the “blast of holy light” to maybe a couple seconds, maybe even record a cut-off scream of pain. then cut to the crew reacting to his death, and let them cry. weep. sob. they’ve known the guy for 6 months, they’re not just gonna say “you did good, buddy” and go off to kill adam immediately.

Charlie, Cherri, and Angel especially, i think should be affected. you can’t tell me that charlie and pentious aren’t friends, or at least close. cherri and angel dust fought him a lot, but after being able to actually TALK and get to know him, they’ve gotta be frienemies at LEAST. Angel-Dust-and-Pentious friendship!! Cherri genuinely loving Pentious back but not knowing what to do so she pushes him away until he’s just a rival on her mind! and then they see him die. and they don’t know how to feel. and then the grief hits them. and they’re CRYING. WHERE WAS THAT IN THE EPISODE.

also random scene idea!! pentious is treated as a joke. i think it would be cool if we had gotten an episode where he realizes that nobody is taking him seriously. he says a stupid thing or two, and he doesn’t know WHY people are looking at him like he just told a joke. he was being serious. please just pay attention. is he really that much a joke? and the throughout the episode, he just gets slowly fed up until he snaps and starts ranting, and nobody knows what to do, until they realize that oh, he actually ISNT joking. he’s not trying to be funny or pathetic, he’s genuinely trying and nobody is seeing that. and then cue the therapy

i have so many fucking thoughts, this guy could have had SO MANY ISSUES AND TRAUMA TO WORK THROUGH. the victorian era sucked, he’s been in hell longer than EVERYONE at the hotel except for Charlie, his idol thinks he’s useless, his only friends for god-knows-how-long were the egg boiz!! his own inventions!! THE MAN HAS ISSUES AND ITS JUST TREATED AS “haha, yeah, he’s like that! :)”

HE WAS FULLY PREPARED TO KILL NIFFTY IN EPISODE 3. END HER FUCKING LIFE.

aaaauuuggghhh there’s so much potential!!!!!! they better use it in season two

Sir Pentious feels like he's barely anything more than comic relief and he's honestly treated as too incompetent andinnocent despite him being an inventor and probably very clever.

In my opinion, I hoped he'd be more villainous, even if still slightly goofy -- like he'd be like a loner shunned by society mad inventor when he was alive kind of guy and desperately tries to fit in Hell by being all "evil" but ends up coming off as sort of goofy, like Master Frown from UniKitty but can be truly evil/bad at times. Even if he was bad at trying to fit, in he's still done shit to get into Hell if you know what I mean.

I wish his trust issues were more fleshed out and taken more seriously. I wish his death wasn't treated like a joke, that he wasn't treated like a joke.

I don't like how he ended up in the show, he definitely could've been more, especially if the show got more runtime. Sir Pentious was my favourite character in the pilot, so Niffty is literally me when I saw how he turned out to be.

To be honest, I wished that Hazbin Hotel focused more on the characters backstory and the actual process of how they improve themselves in the hotel. We didn't get much of that.

This might not be very coherent. I'm running on rice cakes and four hours of sleep.

[oinkinpigprince]

Filbo headcanons because I’m traaaash and he’s my therapy dooooog

Okay so he cannot sew like at all but he can crochet and makes stuffed animals

Definitely autistic and/or adhd, no way that boy (or anyone on that island) is neurotypical

The type of guy to help a complete stranger in the grocery store after they mistake him for an employ and not question a single thing about it

His favorite food is French fries, a basic food for a basic bitch/lh

A hopeless romantic and secretly falls for every one of his friends at least once because he simply cannot distinguish ‘I respect and admire this person’ and ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with this person’

It doesn’t matter cause he’s too much of a bitch boy to do anything about his crushes and would suffer in complete silence then do anything

This is doubled because he is bisexual, I make the rules

Would be very nice about my DID and constantly ask about who’s fronting and their name and pronouns

Asks for peoples pronouns only to end up using the/them anyways

Actually a very charismatic person and in the right setting can befriend damn near anyone after long enough

If he were human, he’d have freckles, blue hair, and pronouns

Mans got a lil chub, apple shape body though so all of the fat goes into his stomach, once again I absolutely make the rules

Ngl I think all of the grumpus would be a lil chubby except maybe Shelda but that’s because she reminds me of every hippie old lady my mom befriended

I should do one for shelda, she may be a fraud but she reminds me of a home I never had, sorry for trauma dumping mid post

Favorite animal is absolutely frogs, if he could he’d own like 20 different species and give them buck wild dumb ass names

Him and beffica have a very brother and sister like relationship after snak tooth, and often hang out @ coffee shops together and argue for fun

According to historians him and buddy are roommates, just roommates, nothing else at all

It’s sorta like a Chandlo and snorpy situation where neither of them say they’re dating but they’re definitely dating

Mainly because I headcanon the journalist is mute and Filbo is bad at communicating but they’re dating

I could make a whole post about why I think the two would make for such a cute couple but no

Loves giving people things and when shopping he will usually get one gift for a friend

Tw alchol

Rarely drinks but has a low tolerance anyways so a few drinks in and he’s already stumbling and bumbling

has sent several drunk messages crying about how much he loves his friends and regrets them in the morning, everyone thinks it’s sweet for the most part

Very sentimental drunk and has sat in a bathtub crying over how much he loves his friends and how much they mean to him, while buddy hold a puke bucket and rubs his back

Okay tw over

Had a pretty lonely childhood as a middle child got neglected a lot and grew up very independent and ‘weird’

He was outcasted all throughout middle school due to his weird hyper fixations and poor social skills, he developed major imposter syndrome due to this and never truly feels like he had any friends so that’s why he’s so thankful for the ones he has now

He LOVES one piece and owns all of the volumes

He also loves my hero academia and watches the anime on Hulu

Definitely watched bee and puppy cat when it first came out

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

I decided to watch the Walker pilot so you don’t have to. #1

I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I’m doing this and the more I put it off the less I’ll want to do this. So. Let’s start.

The fist thing we see is Jared Padalecki, em Walker, driving. He’s vaguely smiling and there’s the sun behind him. He seems happy. He’s driving a truck, for some reason my mind goes to Twilight. I’d rather watch that. At least there are vampires (not dressed like clowns) there. Anyway. Walker is meeting someone. He’s meeting his wife! “Look at you!” she says. The camera makes us look at him. He looks like this

I am unsure whether we’re supposed to see this as sexy or cool. It looks frankly ridiculous. I don’t know if I’m just not American enough to appreciate the aesthetic of this. But I didn’t go through 15 seasons of Americana-in-British-Columbia for nothing. If a character appeared like this on Supernatural, it wouldn’t be presented seriously. It would be played for a chuckle or in a light-hearted way at least. Not even Dean Winchester would find this hot.

The Padaleckis tell something to each other. Apparently he needs to go home with the kids and his parents because it’s game night. My mind immediately goes to Game Night the episode and I am sad now. But Walker lifts my mood in its own weird way.  He doesn’t know the rules because every time she tells him the rules, he blacks out. I would make a fun quip about this, but the truth is that I relate to him a lot right now because I blacked out during the entire scene. I’m not sure what they said other than the game thing because I wrote it here. I already forgot the rest.

Anyway. What we’re supposed to get from this scene that they’re Very In Love (see that soft warm light?), and that he’s anxious because he’s not great at being a father because he’s shit at games apparently, but his wife is like ~don’t worry so much~ because she’s a kind, understanding wife. He tells her to be safe, because the Texan countryside is dangerous or something. She needs to stay on a route he approved for some reason. Is she traveling with supersoldier serum in her car? Is Hydra going to murder her? [cue the Marvel snipers shooting me to death because they don’t want Marvel to be associated to this]

Later, everyone is having fun playing fake monopoly, but Walker (whose mannerism is just Jared, he’s not even trying) is apparently too stupid to understand a game for kids. Plot twist, this is anti-cop propaganda because it says cops are dumb.

“Et tu Brute” Jared says when the kids point out he broke a rule so they get an extra turn. I thought I was safe from hearing Jared speak Latin! I thought I was safe! I am never safe!

Emily (Gen) suddenly texts him “SOS. Answer” which is OMINOUS! Oh my god! Aren’t you feeling the tension. The rest of the family keeps playing fake monopoly. Someone throws dice. Are we supposed to go “oh! The dice are ~symbolic because someone’s playing dice with her life” or have I been watching too much good tv.

She is running somewhere in the countryside, wearing a white shirt (is this the cowboy lady equivalent of the Wife Nightgown?). She says something is not right. He’s worried. Then he hears gunshot and her scream. He does the Alarmed Jared face, presses lips together and does a Upset Jared face.

Then he goes out, tries to call her again, and again, does a Jared Upset Sniff--

Oh! We actually see her! She’s alive, but she’s been shot in the stomach. Her white shirt is definitely the cowboy lady equivalent of the Wife Nightgown! Ah the blood coming from the stomach! How terrible! Her phone is ringing but she cannot reach it. She is definitely alive right now, though. She’s breathing heavily because of the wound, which is breathing, which is the opposite of being dead.

He decides that she’s dead, and lets out the already infamous manly scream of anguish.

It would be sad if it wasn’t that literally one second ago we saw her wounded but alive. Her turning out alive in the season finale or so will shock everyone. Nobody will have seen it coming. Who wrote this? They should have just shown the ringing phone and her bloody hand/side, making the audience assume she was dead, instead of showing her breathing. Now the audience is gonna assume she didn’t actually die, and wonder “why didn’t he call someone or went looking for her” but apparently Jared’s characters have forgotten that, like, ambulances are a thing. Jared’s manly screams of anguish are more important than common sense.

I’m not going to say anything about the manly scream of anguish. I’m not going to say anything about the manly scream of anguish. I’m n

We’re just 4 minutes in, guys. Why am I doing this?

Eleven months later, says the screen.

It’s night, outside a house. The son is waiting for him. The daughter doesn’t think he’s coming. On the porch there are two men, one is his brother and one is apparently his former partner, now new boss. He’s dressed like you’d expect a normal person to be dressed in a casual Texan night, hat and tie and all. If you are law enforcement in Texas and don’t wear a cowboy hat at any moment, you will be executed. That’s what the death penalty in Texas is for.

Somebody arrives, but to the kids’ disappointment is some dude whose function is to tell us the men’s names. The brother is Liam, the cop dude I forgot.

Walker is being sad on the back of his truck and drinking alcohol, which is the only way television can express a man having trauma. Holy shit - he reminisces of his wife like this is some emotional Lord of the Rings scene in a place where Elves live except this is not the Lord of the Rings and is just ridiculous, look

She’s seen running towards the gazebo, then she turns

This is exactly shot like the scene where Arwen has a vision of her son. Flowy hair and all. I cannot take this seriously.

He smiles sadly. Then a cop car arrives.

Mexican Lady Cop(TM), whose function in the story is to be a Mexican Lady Cop(TM) asks for his licence since he’s drinking alcohol in a public place.

“You ask so nicely” drunk Walker says. Ew. “Yeah, they train the girls special” Oh! Can you see? She is the Feminist Icon who Takes No Shit from the Dude! I’m so excited. I am slowly losing the will to live.

She drives him home on the police car. His legs don’t fit. At least this is realistic.

He does exposition in the car, including “I needed to visit a ghost instead”. There-there was no need to say it. What’s the demographic they’re aiming for? Five year olds? Do they have to spell everything out loud?

“It’s been a while since I had an actual conversation” he says, which supposedly explains why he’s making awkward exposition, but it’s just bad writing. At least they acknowledge it’s bad writing.

She figures he’s law enforcement coming back from an undercover mission from some drunken ramble he makes. This is worse than the Sherlock phone cable port thing.

She says she just got promoted from state trooper, ehe she will work with him wink wink nudge nudge. Is she going to be a cop-buddy-character slash love interest except when they’re almost about to realize they’re into each other, his wife comes back and draa~ama? I can already see it.

He goes home, makes some Jared grunts, and falls asleep on the couch.

Next morning, he goes out and jogs to where he left the truck. He puts on a cowboy hat which is supposed to be an artistic shot.

I’m slowly dying. He makes some Jared Deep Breaths, at least this made me laugh.

Wait, he’s now wearing a black hat. He’s in mourning, see? What.

He drives to his father’s ranch. His father is Super Not Impressed. It’s awkward. They took about horses. Mitch Pileggi is thinking that at least the other show was more exciting and there was Jensen Ackles in it.

He gets into his parents’ house and the dogs run to him, he does the Jared Dog Chuckle. He hugs his mom. He hugs his son - “August, my boy!” he says, like a normal person his age says.

He hugs his brother and they joke-wrestle and he says “I’m still the big brother” and did I mention I’m dying inside. I just can tell this is SUPPOSED to be reminiscent of Dean and Sam’s first meeting at Stanford in the pilot except Jared is the big brother now. Ew.

We learn that the brother is a DA and gay. All pilots suffer from Forced Exposition Syndrome but it’s like this isn’t even trying.

He goes to work and hugs (very manly hug of course) his friend-now-boss, who is called James. James asks him if he’s good and he’s like yeah I’m good, which our I’m Fine Lie Moment #1. Some things never change.

Enter the case of the week - a cop offered roadside assistance but he was assaulted. We’re already starting with a “Oh No Poor Cop :( Someone Doesn’t Like Cops And Gets Violent” plot. Yay.

Ta-da! Mexican Lady Cop appears, cowboy hat and all. James says she’s Walker’s new partner. My heart cries while Walker says “figured you’d be a guy” and she replies “so did my mom”. The feminism is so strong :’) She’s such a strong female character :’) I’m so happy :’)

Then Walker makes such a quintessential Jared thing with his mouth that I need to stop this here and take a break.

It’s been 13 minutes. So much still to go. I’m bored. Why am I doing this.