#at the end of the day the writers made their decisions and we got what we got

[lo1k-diamonds]

✔ Advent Calendar 2024 💜

It's the most wonderful time of the year🎶

It's here, the giving season! And while I love advent calendars and already have one for coffee and one for chocolate, I thought what about one for fics? Though I won't be writing, no - I'll be reviewing and recommending wonderful treats! You'll get juicy suggestions, and our lovely writers will get some love for Christmas! And at the end? I will post a bitey gift :p

How does it work?

Every day, I'll reblog this post and add a card with the fic of the day - I'll give some details, a quote, and a fleeting thought. The selection is based on what I've read this year that got my attention, 1 author a day, multiple AUs and tropes! (check the warnings for the fics individually!)

I hope you check them, and if you do, don't forget to show them some love ✨💜

🎄Here we have it, folks! You'll find every suggestion in the list below:🎄

The Demon Is In The Details by @colormepurplex2

Demon!Jimin x f.Reader / Crossroads AU / angst, smut

"You’re now mine forever, little mouse."

⟢ So absolutely delicious how one mistake changes everything, not just for some silly humans, but also for a demon who thought nothing could surprise him anymore! [my review]

——✨Bonus! Beware The Thorns✨

Yoongi x Jungkook x Jimin x f.Reader / Mafia, Step-Sibling AU / Taboo, angst, smut

"There is only one thing left standing in our way, angel."

⟢ I have no excuses - this is potentially the most indulging, deviant, steaming hot fic I've ever read! It lives in my mind rent-free, thanks Leah! [my review]

Sweet by @oddinary4bts

idol!Seokjin x f.Reader / Idol post Military AU / angsty, smut

It feels like, maybe, you were his all this time too.

⟢ There are so many sweet things about this story: the way that Jin thinks and feels, that he apologizes and expresses regret, that OC is believable and well-rounded, that they both take a chance, and make a decision, not because of a momentary lapse of judgement, but out of genuineness... It's a little treasure! [my review]

✨Bonus! To Give a Helping Hand✨

Idol!Jungkook x f.Reader / Idol AU / smut

He’d be feral with you – he’s feral just thinking about you.

⟢ I don't think this fic needs introductions, and I have reblogged it before, but still, couldn't keep myself from mentioning it again! [my review]

Effet Mer by @spideyjimin

Jungkook x f.Reader / Healing AU / angsty, smut

Hot sex with Jungkook in Nazaré is a combo you never thought you needed.

⟢ There. Is it a spoiler? Potentially. Do you all need to read about what goes down? Absolutely! [my review]

The Price by @daechwitatamic

Yoongi x Hunter!f.Reader / Snow White AU / angst, smut

Maybe you do love him. You just can’t forget - not for a second - how little it matters.

⟢ Unhappy ending? Nonsense! It hurts just a little - just right - just perfect. [my review]

✨Bonus! Of Ruin✨

Prince!Taehyung x f.Reader / Supernatural AU / mystery, fantasy, smut

"Even when I think I’ve seen the true measure of you - you surprise me again and again."

⟢ This is one of the best stories I've ever set my eyes on. It's compelling, rattles you to your bones, and you'll be thinking about it for eons! READ IT! [my review]

The Taste of Sin by @shadowkoo

Taehyung x f.reader / Warlock/Witch AU / angst, smut

This is exactly why they say to never mix business with pleasure. It makes such a mess of things.

⟢ Woah, this was intense! The warnings and things made me approach this with so much caution, only to be swept off my feet! [my review]

Spin Cycle by @miscelunaaa

Jungkook x f.Reader / Uni AU / slow burn, strangers to lovers, smut

He’s never going to complain about a girl having sweater paws while wearing his hoodie.

⟢ I read this by the pool side with a glass of wine and couldn't put it down. It's such an easy, good read! Also, confession: I forgot it had smut! And it's good too! I guess the story just really is that good! [my review]

Lifeline by @downbad4yoongi

Namjoon x f.Reader / First responder AU / brother's bf, smut

I won’t break…but it never hurts to try.

⟢ Wait, hold up, time out - can we just talk about how hot this fic is? But first, let's address how the propelling event of this story is the bane of every woman's existence. [my review]

Protecting the Bloodline by @kth1

Prince!Hoseok x Human!f.Reader / Vampire AU / angst, smut, royal

Little dove… In a world full of twisted beings, how have you turned into such a kind woman?

It's so hard to find words to describe this story... It's both incredibly beautiful and so full of pain, that I just... I'll start by recommending it. [my review]

Vigilant(e) by @yoongihan

Lawyer!Yoongi x Prosecutor!f.Reader / Law AU / angst, smut, secrets

We can’t be casual.

When I started reading this, I had no idea where it was going, but it turned out to be a perfect light read to swoon over Min Yoongi. [my review]

Of Crowns and Daggers by @mrsparkjimin18

Prince!Jiminx Princess!f.Reader / Arranged marriage AU / royal, angst, smut

We’re not so different, you and I.

⟢ I really like royal AUs, but add a sprinkle of plotting, inner conflict, and romance, and the combination is an absolute delight. [my review]

Bewitching by @taegularities

Prince!Jungkook x Human!f.Reader / Vampire AU / angst, smut

I think… falling in love with you was– was inevitable anyway. But the fear…

I blush every time I read this. It's such a perfect blend of deep, maddening love and fear... of overpowering longing... It's achingly gorgeous. [my review]

Jealousy by @mikrokosmoslove

Namjoon x f.Reader / FWB AU / f2l, fwb, angst, smut

Yeah, but that also means it ends when one of us starts dating!

I didn't expect this entry, but when I read it, it automatically clicked for me—fwb is a sweet downward spiral. We all know how it ends and still fall for it every time. [my review]

Timeless Rhythm by @bratzkoo

time lord! hoseok x archaeologist! reader / Adventure AU / mystery, romance, fluff

The rest, as they say, was history. Or perhaps, in your case, it was the future.

Woah, this was so different and refreshing! Going on such adventures always risks the timeline, but we wouldn't have it any other way! [my review]

Wicked As They Come by @caelesjjk

vampire!yoongi x reporter! f reader / Fake dating AU / romance, smut

Don’t forget who you’re talking to with that smart fucking mouth, little monster.

I'm here to discredit this author - this is not just mostly porn - this is mostly awesome porn with a sprinkle of feelings - and our asshole vampire Yoongi doesn't do feelings 😏 [my review]

Safe Haven by @kth1fics

Werewolf!Jimin x Princess!f.Reader / Supernatural AU / royal, shifters, angst, smut

He does the things he does because he loves you.

This story is absolutely endearing, with a perfect sprinkle of sacrifice, lifelong love, and perfectly timed confessions 💜 [my review]

Angel by @sailoryooons

Mafia!Yoongi x Sex worker! F. reader / Mafia AU / Semi-established relationship, smut, fluff

I need you to do whatever it is you need to do to protect yourself.

As far as Mafia AUs are concerned, this fic is the standard. If I had to choose a top, this would be in the top three, at least. If I had to choose a perfect Yoongi, you know it—this one would be it. [my review]

Fists and a Smart Mouth by @pars-ley

Namjoon x (f)reader / Cowboy au / E2L, angst, smut

I can assure you, I'm more of a 'violence is the answer' type person, in case that wasn't obvious already.

Ouf, this was a hard pick (because all Ley's stories are great), but it was also super easy. Of course, I didn't choose it because it features Namjoon. I chose it because the mystery takes its time to unravel, revealing a gripping plot until the end. [my review]

——✨Bonus! Red thread of fate✨

Vampire!Seokjin x human!(f)reader / Soulmates au / Angst, fluff, smut

Does listening to my heart not make you thirsty?

It's not often that a vampire fic delves not only into themes of fate but also into selfless, boundless love, and this story is one of those with an interesting catch within it. [my review]

Alpha by @borathae

Alpha Dom!Jungkook x f. Omega sub!Reader / ABO au / E2L, angst, smut

We really shouldn’t be doing this, fuck, this shouldn’t happen.

Step aside while I shamelessly drool all over this piece of indulgent heaven. [my review]

——✨Bonus! Bonded✨

Alpha Dom!Jungkook x f. Omega sub!Reader / Arranged Marriage au / E2L, angst, smut

I just needed to know that this wouldn’t be lost forever.

The way I consumed this sequel. When I finished reading Alpha, I didn't know what could happen next, and this direction surprised me. [my review]

The Surface by @moni-logues

prince merman!Hoseok x sea witch!reader / The Little Mermaid AU / angst, smut

You could bend reality, but that didn’t mean you always saw it clearly. The heart had tricks of its own.

Can you imagine how excited I was when I saw a Little Mermaid retelling? And then realized I'd be the sea witch? Fuck yeah! [my review]

Saudade by @chateautae

idol!taehyung x choreographer!reader / Secret relationship AU / angst, smut

I was doing it for you! The reason was all for you, for us!

It's always interesting for me when authors use words native to me to describe feelings that are not translatable - like saudade. So yes, I had to read what Taehyung was up to, and I was not disappointed [my review]

The Creamed Pie by @moccahobi

Succubi!Seokjin x human!reader / Demon AU / slow burn, angst, fluff

If you're trying to live like a human, you're failing.

This story is such a spark of fun! Everything, from the lore to the characters, the relationships, the name of the shop, the quips and the way it doesn't take itself seriously -- until it does. [my review]

——✨Bonus! Amor Erratur✨

Yoongi x reader / Dystopian AU / angst

Oh how he would love to be married to her. 

This story is set in a dystopian world, and it is so out of the ordinary and unique not just because of the world-building but because of Yoongi. [my review]

Seven Days by @hisunshiine

nurse!jungkook x teacher!reader / FWB AU / age gap, angst, smut

Every hour, every minute, every second, he’s in love with you.

As soon as I read the summary, not only did I think it was a clever idea for a series and someone had to do it, but I also knew I'd end up feeling very personally about it. [my review]

Oath in the Moonlight by @jamaisjoons

crown prince!namjoon x cursed maiden!reader / Soulmates AU / fantasy, angst, smut

Because I no longer want just one night. Not if it’s with you.

This is such a rich, fulfilling story, with captivating worldbuilding, dramatic twists, and lots of love. [my review]

Christmas Fix by @yoonia

Taehyung x (f)Reader / Secret Baby!au / S2L, angst, smut, Christmas fic

I suppose this is what people call a Christmas miracle.

I had to leave the most Christmassy fic I've read for the end. Leave it to none other than the Queen to make a new classic filled with drama and plot twists.[my review]

Down Bad by me 💜

Vampire!Jimin x human(f)reader / Soulmate AU / angst, smut

Kissing you was not on the agenda, and it threw him off. How the fuck was he supposed to let go of you now?

I can't review my own fic, but this is my gift to you 🥰🎁✨

[miwiheroes]

Dropping Byler Evidence Every (Other) Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ Day 22: The Flowers . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Ah yes, I can finally start analysing one of my favourite scenes heehehehe (the airport)

I have decided to split this analysis up into two sections lmaooo, um you can read under the cut down below the first part of the analysis if you want something that is very speculatory, and isn't necessarily evidence, more like something interesting.

First of all, the act of getting your girlfriend flowers is a classic, 'I know how to be a good boyfriend!' act, while still showing that there are problems underneath the surface. In this scene, the point of the flowers is to be a symbol. Otherwise, what would it be? Something to further show that Milkvan is cute and endearing? That doesn't line up with the rest of the airport scene which conveys their problems (all the lies and pretending).

The flowers are in this scene to be a symbol of Mike and El's relationship.

At first this seems like it sheds some positive light on Milkvan because it's obviously a nice gift, and she would appreciate it because they are her favourite colours. However, the things that Mike says in relation to the flowers seem extremely out of place and specific. Now, saying that he 'hand picked' them for her in Hawkins is a nice gesture that a lot of shippers really appreciate, but it is really important to the overall symbolism that he is the one who makes the choice about the colours. (more on that later)

He says some really 'random' stuff:

"I know you also like purple so I got some purples as well so I kind of did a 70/30 split kind of thing"

The 70/30 comment is so specific. The writers really like to put subtle foreshadowing into their dialogue, and being that this scene is at the beginning of the show, i believe it must be talking about how much he puts into the relationship versus how much he's getting out of it. An inequitable relationship is unsatisfying (x, xx), which may show that it's probably either Mike or El putting in the effort while getting nothing less out of it. (Mike puts in the effort to seem normal and functioning while not getting true happiness out of it, El puts in the effort of lying and doing romantic things while not getting an expression of love out of it, which is what she thinks she needs.)

As for him handpicking them in Hawkins.... well....

The same flowers that El, EL, picks up and inspects are the ones that Mike picked out himself in the same town. By the end of the season, their relationship is extremely different than it was at the start, the 70/30 split is no longer a split, it's simply a 0, because the flowers are dead.

So these are 2 instances so far of the characters calling upon flowers for symbolism and.... there is a third one, which is right at the beginning of S4.

See this is why I truly believe that these must be a symbol of Mike and El's relationship. Mike picked spring flowers for El, which are a symbol of their relationship being inequitable, and later on, they are used to symbolise their relationship literally dying (damn). But this here is what shows that El will be fine on her own. Time and time again, Millie and the writers have said/written that El needs to find herself and who she is without the men in her life.

So: "At first I missed [my relationship with Mike], but now I [can find happiness]."

Flowers = Mil*ven. And it's also interesting that yellow flowers symbolise friendship and purple flowers symbolise admiration, and as we know, admiration for her powers is one of the main things that Mike ends up referencing when he admits his 'love' to her.

Now, the yellow flowers being in the bouquet is interesting because, as stated very importantly by Mike himself, he was the one who picked them. Meaning, he would have made the decision, however subconscious, to put 'too many' yellow flowers into the bouquet. And another thing we also know is that yellow is Will's colour.

This colour symbolism is emphasised during the season, when Will wears the colour yellow for the majority of it, and is placed under the yellow light in this scene^

Another funny thing that I noticed is that Mike says:

"I know you like the colour yellow, but now I'm realising that it's too much yellow."

Rewatching this scene makes me think it's kind of odd for him to say that he's just now realising that it's too much yellow. As if he accidentally put too much in, and kind of realises it in that moment like he's saying sorry to her about it?? But then he just takes that realisation and turns it into a 'romantic' thing, acting like he'd intended that the whole time with the '70/30' split.

That means he didn't actually mean to. The writers are trying to convey through symbolism that Mike has been thinking of Will subconsciously the past few months, which is then confirmed by the Rink o Mania scene and the Cool Cool scene. He only regrets the fact that he did it in retrospect. Aka as soon as he sees El.

SO: The flowers are a symbol for Mike and El's relationship, showing that they put in a lot of work into the relationship, but do not get an equal amount out of it, which is unsatisfying. The flowers also are shown to be dead by the end of the season. El says that at first she missed the flowers, but in the end, she's fine without them.

NOW TIME FOR THE STRANGE STUFF

So this is at the end of S1, and if we assume that there are no, throwaway lines in Stranger things, we should be able to also assume that this is meant to foreshadow something. In my opinion, this has to foreshadow S4 and S5.

In this scene, it's clear that the kids (symbolising the audience of stranger things) are talking about something that Mike (symbolising the writers of stranger things) has left out or not explained. This is what happens in S4.

What about the lost knight? -- This refers to Mike, whose DND character is obviously a paladin, but Will draws him and paints him as a knight in shining armour. He is clearly 'lost' because he does not know what to do about his relationships with Will and El at the end of S4. He has just said he loved El, but he still wants to help Will and doesn't really know his feelings until the painting is revealed. Therefore he is lost.

And the proud princess? -- It doesn't take much deducing to know that this has to refer to El, whose arc in S4 is to realise that she is not a monster for having her powers, making her proud of who she is. The audience are worried about her and her fate, because she seems at a crossroads.

And the weird flowers in the cave? -- Obviously, I've already talked about the flowers being a symbol for Mike and El's relationship. The 'weird' part about them is that they are so inconsistent and out of place on a show like ST, because of how conformist it seems in comparison to their nonconformist message. 'In the cave' refers to the fact that the flowers are dead, and now part of the UD, which is the 'cave'.

In This LAST SCENE:

El is stood in front of the others, now with her powers that she is proud of.

Mike is stood with Will, lost in relation to his feelings towards both El and Will, not truly understanding them.

The flowers are rotting. In the 'cave' (UD)

Just something to think about <3

[crazylovelylee]

— ⌗ how do you write like you're running out of time?

✰ prompt - day two, working together

✰ info - reader and chan writing a song together for the first time

✰ tags - gn!reader, very very short (I'm sorry), jisung shows up by the end, not proofread (as always)

✰ comments - first time writing for chan (wow) so feedback is very appreciated 😭 and my requests are open btw 🤭

with planned comebacks and lots of songs to write, chan was overworking himself. again.

and everyone noticed it. i mean, it was very obvious and really hard for someone to not see it. but one of the members were particularly worried. you.

you were no song writer or producer by any means, but you also wanted to help him somehow.

that's how you got here. standing in front of the studio door deciding on whether to knock on it or just walk away.

but before you could even make that decision, the door opened, revealing a very surprised (and tired) bangchan.

“oh, hey yn. what are you doing here? it's late.”

“um.. you want help?”

you stared at each other, the silent slowly making you regret what you said. it was stupid. why did you even think you would've managed to make a song? you didn't study-

“of course. come on in.” - chan smiled at you, opening the door wider and waiting for you to get in.

without hesitating, you rushed inside the studio, now feeling nervous about this. you haven't wrote a single song in your entire life, you're not going to be able to do it now!

chan noticed it, and put a hand on your shoulder.

“hey, let's try writing one together. how about that?”

and that sealed it. you came here to try quicken the process of producing the songs, but now you're also staying all night with him, giving random inspiration and learning how to write a song.

you might not actually be understanding much of it, but it's still nice to sit down with him and work together.

after some hours, jisung suddenly showed up, jumping at your presence there as he made his way over you and chan.

“woah. wasn't expecting you to be here.”

shoving some papers on his face,you exclaimed happily - “we wrote a song together!”

✰ tagging - @jisunggy

[davie-bullck]

So I finished Wind and Truth. Major spoilers for the cosmere.

Well, that went both so much better and so much worse than I ever could’ve expected. Not the quality of the writing or the story itself, those were so so so good.

The only prediction I made that came true was Herald Kaladin. I don’t think I ever posted about it but I have been preaching that gospel since Jezrien died. My favorite guy is immortal now!! So hopefully he’ll be around until the Cosmere comes to a close. And good lord Brandon did him so right. It’s a shame he didn’t get to spread therapy to the physical realm on Roshar very much but he’s putting those skills to extremely good use.

I never liked Szeth until this book. I love the direction he’s going in, especially the direction him and Nightblood are going. I AM NOT A THING. No talking sword has ever made me cry so much.

I never vibed with the theories that Gavinor would be Odium’s champion but I thought it was incredibly well done and I’m very excited to see what comes of him in the back half.

Rlainarin is everything I could’ve hoped for, and seeing Brandon’s growth as a writer in his representation of queer and neurodivergent characters has been so rewarding! I also love that Rlain has been given such a relevant role as Bridger of Minds. I was worried he might just become Renarin’s bf and not much more.

Adolin and Maya’s arc was so much more than I could’ve hoped for, I love the Unoathed, and hit fighting the thunderclast was one of my favorite action scenes in the cosmere.

I’m so glad Vasher is sticking around on Roshar AND training Lift??? I love Lift and can’t wait for her book in the back half.

I caught on to the Auxiliary “twist” as soon as he started calling Szeth his squire. I’m glad we got to see the beginning of Sigzil’s transition to Nomad. I’m not sure if I would recommend people reading Sunlit Man between Row and WaT or after, but I was glad I’d read Sunlit Man already. I love Sigzil so so much and really hope we get more of him than just Sunlit Man, fortunately the time dilation thing allows him time to travel the cosmere as Nomad then Zellion and still possibly come back for the back half!

Retribution, the perfect direction for this midpoint in the series. Taravangian wielding two shards that can work well together is such a huge insane threat and I can’t wait to see how the world responds to him.

Although they took a bit of a back seat I was very excited by where the Listeners ended up.

Dalinar. Good LORD Dalinar. If Kaladin didn’t exist he would easily be my favorite character, and as devastating as his death is, I’m so incredibly proud of him and his journey. Given what he was up against, he absolutely made the right decision, forcing the other shards into action. I LOOOOOOOVED him showing Honor that it’s not all about sticking to oaths, showing the power what it could be even in a dire moment like that.

The cosmere fandom is one of the only ones I actively engage with, due in no small part to the morality of its flagship series (I know I know, Mistborn’s cool too)

This is my favorite book series, I will love it until the day I die. I’m sad that there won’t be a new one for a couple years but it’s genuinely something that makes me want to be healthier so I live long enough to see the conclusion. The immortal words are etched into my heart and I will continue to do my best to live by them.

Life before death. Strength before weakness. Journey before destination.

[mhsdatgo]

Hotd writers choosing to adapt Mushroom's records out of everything they had in hand is the worst decision they could've ever come up with btw.

It's been stated time and time again that while F&B is purely built on records and gossip and morphed retelling of events out of bias and propaganda, Mushroom is the LEAST reliable of all the sources. He's a fool at Rhaenyra's court, his job is make people gasp and laugh, not retell historical events.

We're talking about the same guy who said that he had a penis large enough to match the size of his head, mind you. Also, he's obsessed with little girls giving BJs to Targaryen men somewhere in Flea Bottom. It's happened twice according to him.

The writers' reasoning for this choice is basically that F&B was written by Maesters and Septons, who were all greedy men, apart from being Green supporters. So anything they say is false, anything they say is written with sexist intent. Writer's intention was to do the exact opposite.

Then tell me, for the love of God, tell me, why is every woman apart from Rhaenyra, who is clearly whitewashed and I can go into heavy detail about that, basically shunned?

The Maesters claim Alicent left Viserys' body to rot and swell for days preparing and LEADING Rhaenyra's usurpation. She's the leader of the Greens, she and she alone. Not Otto. The Green Council answers only to her orders, they are loyal to HER.

I've seen people argue that since Alicent is what Maesters view as an "ideal" woman, then they would try anything to paint her in the best light possible. While I agree that this may be true, I don't think this is the case. In history books, even in real life, women are rarely painted as leaders or important figures.

For Queen Alicent to be written as THE face of the Greens, you know this mama wasn't playing around.

Now, how is this:

In ANY WAY, even comparable to THIS?:

At the end of ep.8 and quite literally the entirety of ep.9, Alicent is shown as a lost woman who doesn't even seem to know what she's doing, pushed by Viserys' last words about prophecy rather than SHEER DESIRE to get her hands dirty for her children's safety (which by the way will always be superior imo). The Green Council conspires behind her back, and on top of it all, she's yelled at by one of her own men and is made to take it like a beaten dog.

Moreover, we had Helaena's ROAST (yes it was a roast, my Queen inherited cunty lines from her cunty mother) against Aegon and her coronation, the latter being addressed as something quite wholesome, if you ask me. Alicent places her own crown upon her daughter's head and calls her "my Queen" after kissing her cheeks and kneeling. Afterwards, her and Alicent are literally written to be the only ones who could get through Aegon II's thick skull when he wanted to start the war right then and there as a result of Rhaenyra crowning herself on Dragonstone.

You hear me??? Aegon sat down and fucking listened to the two women in his life. Not the Council, them. These two were dogwalking him, the KING, on the daily, how is that sexist writing on the Maesters' part????

Yet these things are nowhere to be seen in Ryan Condal and Sara Hess' "progressive" show. We got beaten dog Alicent and Helaena being nothing but a walking spoiler machine other than yet another instrument to paint Aegon as the big bad wolf and usurper. Not a single scene of them counseling Aegon.

Baela and Rhaena have nearly no lines or scenes that don't show them in the presence of the Strongs. They are seemingly okay with anything Rhae throws their way because it's Rhae. The one and only scene about Baela openly speaking to her grandma about her wish to fight for Rhaenyra was deleted.

Meanwhile, Rhaenyra is stripped of her rage and thirst for vengeance, and instead made to negotiate for peace while in the books she was the one pushing to go to war first.

Can you tell me, again, how the fanfiction that is Hotd supposed to prove that they want to be "progressive" in contrast to the Maesters' "sexist" work, when literally all they do is whitewash Rhaenyra and sideline any woman who isn't her?

[mistymisfit]

So long, Marianne IV

Summary: Reader is a spy working undercover in Gotham when she meets Jason Todd, who despite her better judgement she forms a very close friendship with. This story follows their escape from Arkham asylum, their fall out and the times they run into each other as they get older.

Warnings: mentions of sex (but nothing smutty happens), mentions of past torture and sa!!, also one mention of Jason pushing reader's hair back but that's all that's said, no texture or anything specified.

Word Count: 4,1K

a/n: told myself i'd stop posting this series on tumblr and keep it only on ao3 but whatever, i'm having writer's block so idc

Read on ao3

Masterlist - Mobile masterlist

Your first thought is "what are we even doing anymore?" It's great to have him back in your life, but what the fuck is going on? Ever since you worked things out with him after what happened in Gotham, you started to sneak and meet him in secret. First, it was random hotels until he bought a few safe houses in the city. You never went to the same place twice. The safe houses would always switch after a while, he'd sell them and replace them. Out of the current ones, there was one of them uptown, then the other was downtown, and the third one was near the harbors.

You've been doing this for months, secretly meeting him in the dead of night every once in a while, and it'd always end up the same way. You see him, you get overwhelmed with how much you missed him and cry, then he'd wipe your tears off, and you'd sleep with him and leave. Frankly, you were growing a bit tired of it. He wasn't honest to you most of the time, wouldn't even tell you what he did when he was not with you. It didn't matter how great he was, it was exhausting being pushed away this much.

The first time you met him like this you cried, telling him all about how sorry you were for yelling at him like that, for saying all those things to him and leaving so cruelly. And he'd say he was sorry about locking you up and that he was a jerk- you agreed on that. To be fair, you were both wrong; you put yourself in danger going to Gotham that day, but it didn't give him the right to behave like that.

"Let go of me!" You had screamed when he picked you up, carrying you over his shoulder. "I swear to God, Ja-"

He cuts you off with a grunt before you can say his name. You trashed and kicked, but it was no match against his strength. Using your powers was out of the question, freezing him would only make it harder to escape his grasp. In between you cursing and yelling at him, he managed to walk to the military car so he could throw you into the backseat.

"Is this your fucking plan?" You were yelling as he opened the door "Have you lost your mind? You are giving him exactly what he wanted!"

"Shut the fuck up," He whispered angrily, putting a gloved hand over your mouth and hovering over you as you laid on your back. You looked around to see his men on the front seats quickly averting their gaze from you two. Of course, it was all about questioning his authority in front of them, it was fragile like that. "I don't want you to get hurt, so they're going to take you somewhere safe"

You took his hand off your face before saying "And I thought you were making decisions for yourself. Can't you see you're still his puppet? Just stop-"

"Enough, you are leaving. Now" You watched as one of his hands searched something in his pockets, handcuffs. It almost made you want to roll your eyes.

"Ja- Wait, what are you- stop it" You kicked him, trying to get out of his grasp "you're a fucking idiot, you're so brainwashed you can't see you're playing right into his trap"

"Quit it"

"Quit it? Let go of me!" You shrieked as he managed to bound your wrists behind your back. Then the anger got to you and you lowered your voice before you could say the meaner things you could come up with "You never left Arkham, huh? Figured I forgot a part of you there, left your humanity behind"

"Yeah, I'm a real monster sweetheart" He scoffs, and even over the modulated voice, you can tell the hurt in his voice, how much your words were affecting him. It made you feel bad for a second until you remembered how he was treating you.

"Clearly, you're not the person I thought you were." That's the last thing you say to him before he knocks his helmet against your head, rendering you unconscious so you wouldn't escape and ruin his plans.

You woke up with a killer headache and no idea how long you've been out or where you were. What you do know is that you're laying down on a mattress on the floor, no longer handcuffed and with an ice pack on your forehead right were Jason hit you. As you gradually regained consciousness, you started to check your whereabouts before you could move again. The room was dark, had no windows, and looking at the walls, you realized you were at some old, run down abandoned place. Panic quickly washed over you as you checked the state of your clothing; nothing was wrong with it, and you left out a sigh of relief.

You could hear voices outside, not outside the door but a bit further away. Moving as silently as you could, you walked towards the voices, going down a set of stairs and hiding behind a pile of wooden boxes as you tuned into the conversation a few meters away from you. It seemed to be some sort of weapon exchange, as most of you could make out of what they were saying was about either guns or ammo. You could only see the backs of some of Jason's men and not who they were talking to, but you recognized that voice as soon as you heard it. You took a step back, unknowingly knocking over some things and not being able to react and freeze them on time due to the shock. You'd drawn their attention to you now; neither Jason's nor Harley's goons were as fast as her to react.

"You!" She exclaimed in that high-pitched voice of hers, your heart felt heavy in your chest as it felt tighter and tighter and harder to get the air in and out of your lungs. You could feel the acid traveling from your stomach to your mouth and had to swallow down the need to puke."All grownup, Arkham's little princess!"

She kept talking as she walked closer to you, you shook your head saying no, unable to get any word out of pure fear; it had been years since you had felt that helpless. "Ah, you always healed so fast, not a scar on your pretty face, besides you know...that" Her cold fingers traced the tiny scar on the apple of your right cheek before you weakly pushed her hand off.

Your fingers went to your cheekbone, covering over the area you healed all those years ago, Jason didn't know about it. He didn't need to know about the acid burn scar you would have on your face had it not been for your powers.

"You used to be my cutesy dress up doll!"She laughed, grabbing a strand of your hair and twirling it "Remember when you wore my outfits? You looked so adorable!"

Then you remembered you were no longer tied up or keeping a cover or that you haven't been Marianne for a while. So with any and all the strength you could find, you raised your fist and delivered a swift and highly trained blow to her face. The silence that followed was deafening; the militia men were well instructed and had orders not to let anything happen to you, so they were ready to stop the situation from escalating. Stopping Harley's company from getting involved. She spat out blood and smiled, her twisted smile made your stomach turn once more. But you were free, or at least freer, so you grabbed one of her ponytails and smashed her head to the concrete wall. No longer putting up with the torture she put you through.

"What's wrong?" She teased, laughing through it "Didn't cha' miss me too? Cause I sure did! How much fun was it when I nailed your hand to-"

You let go of her hair only to push her away, making her stumble a few steps from you "Shut up, shut the fuck up!"

Then it's her laugh, that wicked, overly exaggerated high laugh that made you launch yourself again at her to fight her before you're stopped, dragged back by someone. You look up to see his expressionless helmet. He's been here this whole time? Didn't matter as you immediately started wriggling, trying to get out of his hold.

"Heal her" He ordered you, you jerk your arm out of his hand and take a few steps back, almost tripping. What? You looked up at him with eyes brimmed with tears begging to be shed and scared at how much he reminded you of him at that moment. It was like you went straight back to your captors, forcing you to heal and slow down his disease.

"No." your voice came out so low and shaky that you almost cringed at yourself.

"Stop causing me so much trouble and fix her face"

"You will not speak to me like that"

"I'll speak however I want, now do as you're told" He grabbed your face harshly; he didn't like the look in your eyes at all, or the fact that he successfully scared you into doing something you didn't want to. A whine escaped your lips as he gripped your jaw tighter, and only eased up once your eyes lit up. He could already feel the guilt eating him up, but his mind was dead set on carrying on with his revenge.

"Harley get you and your people the fuck outta here" He orders, before giving his men the same command. To leave you two alone.

"Gladly," She scoffs, holding her no longer broken nose "it was good to see ya' again"

"You're working with her?" you recriminated, shoving him and getting out of his grip once she left

"She works for me."

"Don't you dare touch me," you stepped back, raising your arms defensively when he tried to reach out for you "you heard her, you know what she did-"

"I'm using her, it's part of a plan"

"Did this big plan of yours really need her?" You sighed, wiping the tears that fell down your face; again, you found yourself crying over the same thing. Something you thought you had pushed down years ago. His silence gave you all the answers you needed

"Fine, I'm leaving"

"Wait a-" His hand caught your wrist.

"Let go of me," You struggled out of his hold "I don't even know who the fuck you are anymore. Working with her, all of them, you really are just one of the people you used to chase"

He opened his mouth to say something, not that you would know under the mask, but stopped when you added one last thing before you left. "You're just like him, and killing Batman won't fix the shell of a man you are"

Jason regretted what he did, his revenge plan didn't seem as important when he broke down after being unable to kill Bruce. He had him, but he didn't manage to pull it off. He lamented it especially when he needed you so badly to tell him it'd be okay and he wasn't a failure but you wouldn't, and now he'd probably lost that comfort forever due to his own doing.

He thought very differently. From his point of view, he was coming to you whenever he needed a decent sleep. It seemed this was the only way he could get at least an hour of useful rest, he thought fucking you was a way of making you hate him less. Maybe if he made you feel good, then you'd let him get close. It was his very fucked up way of saying he was sorry. This was the routine until tonight when he showed up incredibly injured, talking about some black mask character-- whoever that was. He had broken a few ribs and his nose; his body was poorly stitched in multiple places, and you were sure he had more wounds than those he admitted. It was a miracle he managed to leave Gotham to see you. Despite his insistence on being okay and that he was not in pain, you got to healing him.

"You have-"He whispers, wiping the blood off your nose.

"Oh it happens sometimes," You brush it off, taking the tissue from him. "do you feel better?"

"Mhm, thanks" He nods, cupping the back of your head with his hand and pushing you into a kiss.

"Wait, you should rest" You sighed "I haven't healed you completely "

"I know-" He smirks, kissing you again.

"Jay, I don't want to" You put your hand on his chest, trying to get some distance.

He sighs getting away from you and sitting as far as he could on the couch. Even if he was pissing you off, you've grown to appreciate seeing him in casual clothes. Right now, he was wearing a (way too tight) black shirt, his cargo pants as well as his boots were also black. He'd lost the leather jacket the second he walked through the door of the safe house, the safe house he'd bought to be able to meet you. You knew that with Jason you had to take what you could get, so you cherished seeing him dress like a normal person for the actual weather and not being covered from head to toe. You sigh back, rolling your eyes, and crawling to his side.

"Can't we just talk?" You whisper, tracing circles on his chest and hoping he wouldn't just get up and leave.

"Talk? " He chuckles in disbelief "What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know, anything" You shrug, but a smile creeps up your lips when he turns to see you.

"How was your day at work?" He teases, knowing you wouldn't tell him about that.

"Ugh," You complain, but when you try to get away from him he is fast to grab you and pull you flush to his chest "Jason, is this all that you want from me?"

"What do you mean?" He lets go of you enough so you can put your arms on him to prop yourself up to look him in the eye.

"Sex, Jay" You sigh exasperated "Do you visit me just 'cause you want to get laid?"

He's taken aback by your question; you wanted more from him? Also, is that what you think of him? And on your side, you can't decipher his expression. Sometimes you miss being 16 and knowing exactly what went through his mind. He used to be so easy to read, now it's like he's purposely closing off any and all information he didn't want to give to you willingly. You had your suspicions that he'd come see you just because it was easier for him than letting some random girl see his scars, you even doubted he went out at all for the very same reason. You figured maybe it was easier to let his guard down with you since you had already seen the worst of him and been through the same. Maybe it was just convenient that he was still in touch with his high school sweetheart.

He shakes his head no, regretting giving you that impression. His cheeks blushed thinking he was to blame for it, remembering how he broke into your apartment that night. He intended to apologize, in between his new activity as Red Hood, he'd found the time to search for you in Bludhaven like he was originally meant to before you found him first. He stood on the roof of a building in front of yours for weeks before he actually tried to contact you, going over and over again if you'd even want to know anything from him. Eventually, he grew a pair, missing you far outweighed the shame he felt.

"Shit," You cursed when you saw him standing on your apartment "you can't be here"

He was disappointed by your reaction, yet he knew he should be grateful you weren't greeting him with a punch to his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but you immediately signaled him to stop. You looked around for a pen and paper and wrote down: meet me at the Harborview plaza 3 streets down. I'll get a room and leave the window open for you.

He agreed with a silent nod and left through your window, he made his way to where you told him to meet you. Jason knew he was in no position to question you and ask why wouldn't you want him in your apartment. He clearly knew where you lived, so keeping that a secret wasn't an issue. He expected yelling, cursing; Jason knew you never held back any words when mad at him. While overthinking your skittish behavior, he finally sees you open the window on a seventh floor. Of course, you couldn't have made it easy and asked for a room on the first floor, but then again he was the one taking you to the top of Gotham's skyscrapers so you could marvel at the view when you were 16.

"You shouldn't have gone there, we don't know if they're listening" You explained as soon as he came in through the window.

"I-uh,sorry" He's had months to think about what to say to you, but now that you're in front of him he's at a loss for words. No speech he had prepared came to his aid. "I didn't think about that"

He reaches for his bike helmet, undoing the buckle under his chin so he could drop it and see you. Or mainly so you could see him, maybe it was selfish of him, but he wanted someone to see him, look him in the eye and not be scared of him. Jason wanted to know if he could still count on you for that.

"I'm so sorry," You started to sniff as soon as you saw his face, wiping the tears with the sleeves of your sweater "I never should've said those things to you"

"No, I'm sorry"He finally took a step closer to you, pulling you in for a hug "I'd never forgive me if I were you"

"I don't think you're like him at all, I'm sorry I told you that" Your cries turned into sobbing, and suddenly you couldn't hold back any emotion anymore as you set the waterfalls of your eyes free. It was like a dam broke when you saw him, and everything you've been pushing down was now out in the open and you couldn't control it. He let you cry into his chest, wrapping his arms around you and rubbing your back to comfort you. After a while, when the sobbing didn't seem to calm down, he guided you to sit on the bed. Wiping the tears from your face with his thumbs. Kneeling down in front of you, he told you to take deep breaths, helping you relax.

"Baby," he whispered, kissing your knee over the jeans you wore "I keep fucking everything up with you, can you forgive me?"

You nodded, still tearing up and opening up your arms, so he'd come up and hug you. He does so, pushing your back to the bed and laying on top of you in the process. You're about to say you're sorry again when he kisses you. He stops, giving you a second to tell him to fuck off and looking for a response in your eyes. Lucky for him, you understood his silent question and nodded as your fingers ran through the back of his hair, and he lowered himself once more to kiss you saying, "I'm sorry, I'll never do that again to you"

So with Jason finding himself sleeping and waking up with more energy, your little rendezvous started. He's only realizing now that he has been giving you a wrong impression all this time. He sighs before, in a rare flash of vulnerability, he tells you what he thinks.

"I've been trying to make it up to you," his eyes dart to the floor, he's got every right to still be embarrassed about kidnapping you and what he made you do "make you hate me less"

The closest he's been to opening up like this was that one time when he had you wrapped under his arms, your skin touching his, and the question slipped from his overworked mind through his lips: "Are you scared of me?" You shook your head no, pressing a kiss to his scarred chest as you drifted off asleep. "No, no I'm not. We're okay," you had mumbled in response.

"I don't hate you, Jay" Music to his ears, he even contemplates asking you to say it again

"But you cry every time we meet"

"I-" You don't want to admit he has a great point, besides now that you think about it, this is the first time you ever said no to him "I have my reasons, besides you cry too, does that mean you hate me?"

"No" He defends himself, damn it, he thought he was hiding it well "I could never hate you, I love you no what ifs"

You smiled sweetly; that was what you said to him once. Many many years ago, when he was still Robin, it felt you were both completely different people from that distant memory where you told him "I love no what ifs, Jay". He had laughed then, now you doubted he would ever be that joyful again.

"Come on, you used to tell me everything," You encourage him "tell me something, anything"

"Anything?" He pushes your hair back, and you nod eagerly "You don't look like a Marianne, or a Penny, or any of your other aliases"

"Really?" You raise an eyebrow in fake disbelief, you never felt those names suited you anyways"Does my real name fit me better?"

"Yes," He whispers with his hand cupping your cheek. Even if your situation is not the best or what he'd hoped for when you first met, he's still glad to have you around. Sometimes, he remembers all the dreams and plans he had and holds back from scoffing when he recalls how he already made his world spin around you before you even kissed.

"You know," Now your hand caresses his scarred cheek "my offer still stands, I can try to get rid of your scar if you want to"

He blinks, not knowing how to take your words. Did it bother you? Did it make you like him less? He takes your hand off his face, and with that, he withdraws the hand in yours. Your expressions turns sadder, he can tell, so instead, he opts to deflect the conversation as he usually does.

"Can I ask you something?" He changes the subject, and you nod, allowing him to do so even if it's exhausting at this point "Would you ever want to get out?"

"Jay-" you sigh, knowing where this conversation is headed. You couldn't leave with him, no matter how badly you wanted to. "You know I can't"

"I asked if you wanted, not if you could" He insists, secretly hoping you give him the answer he expects. Give him a sign of how important he is to you, he'd drop his Red Hood persona in a second if you asked. He's learned his lesson after being the knight, and he's been trying to redeem himself by taking out the bad guys in Gotham instead of working with them.

"Of course I want to but-"

"We could find a way out, I-" he doubts but decides to push through "want more than this"

"Hm, you want me to be your real girlfriend?" you hum, your expression softening and your shoulders relaxing as you played with his hair, him leaning into your touch which he finally learned to enjoy. "You'll finally take me out on a real date?"

"Yes, everything," He closed his eyes, relaxing even more. His tone also weakened, becoming almost a pathetic whimper as he made promises to you "whatever you want"

"You'll be honest with me?" You question, your free hand going to the other side of his face, making him look at you.

"Yes, I promise" He replies, holding your gaze "We'll work something out"

"Okay, I'll get you as much information as I can." You nodded, maybe you could hold onto the hope that he'd put his brain and abilities to good use and he could find the way out that you couldn't. Maybe two heads can think better than one alone.

[echidnapower]

Now that Ash's series is over, how do you feel about the decision to write Misty out of the main cast at the end of Johto in 2002? As we know besides brief cameos and the last few eps of MPM, she really did stay off the show for 20 years, 6 series, and somewhere over 850+ or something episodes. Once Hoenn started and May was introduced, the writers likely decided sometime in 2003 they weren't going to bring misty back to the cast (her cameos with Togetic aired this year), and then that was basically it.

I always assumed the writers would have brought Misty back like how the Brock/Tracey switch was reversed after Orange, but I guess May became too popular it convinced the writers they had no reason to bring Misty back to the cast. So they slowly started phasing her out over AG as her cameos/specials started to dwindle, then by the time we got into 2005/2006 she got her final episode for over a decade. Then by the time DP started and they decided to bring Dawn in, that was basically it. They brought in a second new female companion for a second full gen, and Misty didn't get to appear in DP at all.

People tend to forget that long before the modern pokemon era (XY, SM, Journey's, etc), the writers seem to already decide back in the early 2000's from 2002-2010 during the Hoenn/DP era that they weren't going to bring Misty back full time. And as we know, they didn't. It's just kind of ironic to me when you stop to realize how long ago that was, 2002 was the beginning of the millenium, it over 22 years ago now, and Misty left at Gen 2 of the franchise whereas Ash's series went through Gen 8. She basically was only there for like 20% of Ash's series, and missed 80% of the anime.

Do you believe the writers were in the right to remove her? Since you write fanfics with Misty staying, did her departure shock you or did you think the anime couldn't go on without her? In the end I guess it doesn't matter now, but it says a lot so many original fans decided to continue to watch without her year after year.

Well as someone who considers Misty "best girl" I would never condone the decision to have Misty leave the group. What I will say though is that it was clear to me that the writers for the anime back in those early days had no idea what to do with Misty since her "goal" as it were was to become a water-Pokemon Master, but they never took any steps to have Misty actually try to BECOME that. She was playing a support role for Ash and that I feel like was an extreme disservice to her character.

What we did get though was an evolution of her personality over time, as she became less violent with her actions and started seeing Ash more as an equal rather than someone who needed her coaching to become a good trainer, and in that change, the ship started to solidify for me. There were plenty of "shippy moments" during Indigo, but the more Ash grew as a trainer the more it felt like there was room for their relationship to grow.

By the end of her tenure, it was clear to everyone (or me at least) that the very thought of leaving Ash to go take over the gym because of her irresponsible sisters was a source of emotional pain for her. In her mind, Ash wasn't just some brat that stole her bike, he had become her very best friend and (depending on how you choose to interpret it) she'd fallen in love with his passion and devotion to Pokémon, because that's what made him stand out from all the other trainers out there. The lengths he was willing to go to in order to make sure that his Pokémon became the best they could possibly be and the love that he showed them, it even trickled over to his human friends as well, which of course included her.

And even with all the other girls that came along after Misty's departure, you could tell that there was a special bond between her and Ash that was never replicated with anyone else. In my mind, Serena kissing Ash before she left isn't the most impactful scene in the anime, it's the fact that Ash shed tears over Misty leaving because he knew how much he was going to miss her. To my knowledge, aside from her and Brock, Ash didn't cry over anyone else's departure. It was always "until we meet again" and then off he went on his new journey. Even Serena didn't get a tear from Ash over saying goodbye. That honor falls only to Misty (and Brock).

All this being a long-winded explanation for what makes their relationship so special, I'll address the other part of the question. Do I think the writers were right to remove her? Of course not. I think they should have given Misty something to do rather than just stand there with Togepi and cheer Ash on, and in an anime where character growth coincided with aging (yes, aging as in getting older and more mature, something Pokémon is notoriously allergic to), eventually Misty would've had to be given something to do. Their solution I suppose was to give Misty a new goal, one that was separate from her travels with Ash. I don't like it, but I get it.

May and Dawn were the main characters for the next two generations of games and they were made into coordinators so that they wouldn't overlap with Ash's goals. Contests weren't available in B/W I don't think so having Ash travel with Hilda would've been redundant, so they gave Iris to Ash since she was the most...rambunctious character in those games, and Cilan took on the Brock role now that he was finally off pursuing his new path. Back to the old dynamic but it wasn't the same. Iris wasn't Misty, and neither was any of the other girls he went with, Serena included. That BOND just wasn't there. The closest one who got there IMO was Dawn, and ironically aside from Misty herself, I think Dawn got the most returns to the anime out of all the Pokegirls.

I started writing my story over a decade ago with the mindset of "fixing" the anime, by putting Misty back where she wanted to be all along, but now by aging them up a few years (which is what they should have been in the first place) I opened the door for Ash to actually see Misty as more than a friend, paying off all those little moments they'd previously shared where Misty caught his attention when they were traveling together and he saw her as more than just "Misty," she was also "girl" which bizarrely Ash understood better early on in the show and forgot later on somehow with any other male/female interactions. I made Ash and Misty finally get together, strengthening their bond even more as now the titles boyfriend and girlfriend make it so that Ash AND Misty get something out of the relationship. She hasn't done much in the way of training for herself, I'll admit, but the way I write her, Misty doesn't just stand there and support Ash, she's his go-to for companionship, a partner he can count on when the going gets tough, more than the others. She's put on a pedestal as someone special to him, which she already was but now the role is more defined. And Misty now gets to be a big sister to Dawn as their relationship has grown throughout my story. Dawn looks up to Misty now, seeing her as someone she also can turn to when she's struggling with something. Ash is her mentor with training, but in a world where human interactions are more than just "Let's battle," Dawn needs someone to help her navigate those turbulent waters, and that's big sister Misty.

I rambled for a long time and for that I apologize. The anime could and did go on without Misty, and other characters who took her place have their own roles and their own merits. I won't take that away from them. But Misty is special I believe because there's just that bond that is difficult to define in words between her and Ash. They can push each other to their limits unlike any other characters in the show can, and undoubtedly Ash sees her as his very best human friend aside from Brock. If the anime had allowed him to age and grow, there's no doubt in my mind that they would have gotten together anyway, because a bond like that can't be broken by distance. If anything, it would just inevitably bring them together again.

[williamvapespeare]

going to u for advice/hear others thoughts, not to attack u, but how do u reconcile knowing the actions of neil gaiman with interacting with dead boy detectives stuff? i know he didn't make all the comics but he made the original/other comics are based on his works and he was an executive producer for the netflix show. i'm feeling conflicted and i haven't seen a lot of dbda fans talking about it

hey! this is something i've been thinking about a lot too and my answer is solely based in my own experience; i can't speak for all dbda fans. i wouldn't say that i was a huge neil gaiman fan before this, even though i did like his work - you can see i wrote one good omens fic back in the day and i do remember loving "ocean at the end of the lane" when i read it. i was really sad that i couldn't see the play when it was in london. i definitely liked what he did, but i hadn't read all his books or anything like that so i can't imagine the hurt other people are going through who DID feel that way.

i see dbda as distanced from him in part because i haven't read or seen Sandman, which is maybe a problem because it allows me to block out his association with something i love. i've engaged with it mostly by reading dbda fanfic that uses sandman characters, etc (also HUGELY unrelated not, but once i got a comment on a fic gushing about how i'd used sandman lore in a throwaway line about charles not dreaming and i just said like "oh thank you!" or something but it was completely accidental al;sjkf). from what i know: neil gaiman didn't write the comics and wasn't involved in the show beyond executive producing. i want to support people making fun queer horror art because that's the kind of art i love and i personally like to make. the way people engage with this is going to be individual, especially for anyone who needs to grieve or deal with feelings of betrayal and trauma.

personally, the things i will do going forward are: try not to give support to media that will benefit gaiman, and DO give vocal and monetary support to the creatives of dbda when i can (ie i supported the Appearances fundraiser because i want to see these creators make more excellent weird queer art and i knew that money would go to them), give praise and credit for the show to the people who were actively involved in making it - Steve Yockey, the writers, the cast, the writers/artists of the comics - these people we KNOW were the ones who had hands in crafting the story we love and none of them are neil gaiman.

you are 100% right to call attention to the fact that gaiman is inherently connected to this world and story that i/we love and that IS something i need to learn to acknowledge in my existence in fandom and as someone inspired by it. i don't have a concrete answer for how i'm going to do that morally, other than make sure i'm aware of it and try to make decisions that support the creatives who make artistic and moral choices that i DO believe in.

hopefully this answer was somewhat coherent and answered your question alright? again, this is probably a really individual thing for all fans of the show so i'm sure everyone will have their own insights

[hoodedboy79]

Hey. I just saw your post of the idea to write about Assassins Creed. It’s lovely to see someone who would write about the Assasins, like Bayek (he doesn’t get enough love). I don’t have anything particular in mind but I’d love to see some/or reactions of some kind of Bayek, Arno and/or any you feel comfortable with. Have a nice day :))

Being Best Friends With Them: Bayek, Arno & Jacob.

Just to start off with I'm sorry this took so long for me to do but I've got major writers block atm so these might be ass but I tried. Also Arno might be extra ooc cuz I only brought Unity a few days ago when it went on sale and haven't done more than the beginning yet so apologies in advance 😅

================

Bayek

• The most loyal, lifelong friend you're ever going to get right here.

• Even if you two don't see each other as often anymore after Bayek became a Medjay and started a family.

• Talking about him starting a family, you were one of the first people he told when he found out Aya was expecting.

• Invites you over regularly to eat dinner with him and his family, along with Hepzefa and Rabiah if they are free.

• He loves that his closest people get on so well.

• You accompanying him, Khemu and Chenzira on their hunting trips.

• As much as he wants to confide in you after Khemu's death and Aya's departure, he can't bring himself to. Not only because he doesn't want to speak about it when the wound is so fresh but he doesn't want to burden you with his feelings.

• So he doesn't say much to you before leaving to track down the Heron.

• When he eventually returns, and is in a slightly better headspace than before he left, he was happy to see you, and Hepzefa, waiting for him.

• You two have a lot to catch up on.

Arno

• Will silently judge every stupid decision you make, his face tells you exactly what he wants to say though to the point it doesn't feel as 'silent' anymore.

• He will help you clean up and or defend you from the consequences of said stupid decision though.

• The type to have clothes made for you, regardless of your social status.

• Depending on your personality, there's going to be a LOT of disagreements between you two due to Arno's stubbornness (and yours, potentially) but he's willing to come to a compromise with you after enough back and forth, he probably won't admit if he was wrong though.

• Arno never truly gets over Élise and has times where his grief rears it's head, sometimes he'll allow you to comfort him even if it's just by sitting in the same room in silence while you both get on with your own things or other times he'll avoid everyone completely and try to keep himself busy with random tasks till he feels ready to see people again.

• Would like to visit the theatre with you occasionally or just relax for once and have a discussion about art or the newest plays.

• Gossip duo 💅🏻

Jacob

• Sheer pandemonium.

• You two together brings the fear of God into people.

• Spending hours with him in the pub, whether it be indulging in drinking games, playing Whist (don't worry he won't drown you in the river if you beat him) or just chatting with the Rooks, Jacob will make sure you enjoy yourself and hopefully get you to stay just another hour (and buy another round).

• Tells Maxwell about you and eventually invites you to accompany them on one of their random outings.

• We all know how that eventually ends.

• Both of you teasing Evie about Henry. Jacob will definitely turn on you though if he finds out you are courting someone/being courted, it isn't just Evie he's willing to tease.

• He would find out as much as he could about the person that you're interested in, especially if their the one trying to court you. He's been betrayed by people close to him before and doesn't want you to go through the same thing if he can help it.

• He'll make almost everything a (friendly) competition with you; Who can climb this building faster? Who can kill the most Blighters in this random street fight? Who can escape the police quicker?, things like that. Evie will even sometimes join in, which usually ends with the twins bickering after she wins.

• You and Jacob really do share the same braincell at times fr.

==============

I haven't done any hc's in a hot minute and I can see why lol. Maybe I'll rewrite these one day or add to it I dunno.

[radioisntdead]

Nothing's new

Velvette x reader

Warnings: I don't know what this is, but the reader's heels are broken!

Song used

You never thought you'd end up in hell with your girlfriend, you never thought you'd be dragged along for the ride as she climbed the ranks, and you certainly didn't think that she'd leave you like this, stranded outside a club in the acidic rain, broken heels in hand, and phone nearly dead, after what you could only describe as the worst argument you'd ever had.

I wanna be touched, be loved

You should've seen this coming, there were signs, there were signs right? you had rose tinted glasses on? Or was there truly no warning? The two of you had spats before but nothing like this.

I wanna heal, be hugged

You walked down the hellish streets, looking at your relationship over and over again in your brain, painstakingly combing over them looking for anything you could've missed.

It's just the two of us, or that's what we swore

You and Velvette were together for....

honestly you lost track of how many years, you were together the day the two of you died in a texting and driving accident, the two of you died rather young, only in your twenties, and the two of you were together throughout your entire hellish stay.

You could still remember her hand holding yours as she dragged you though the pride ring, assuring you that it'd be alright as the two of you tried to figure out what to do now.

And if I've lost my charm, apologies due, no harm

And now she tossed you out like a toy that she didn't want it anymore.

You tried calling her, hoping that she'd answer, that maybe things could still be fixed, that maybe she'd regret her decision and come back for you.

That at the end of all this you'd be curled up together in bed, warm, dry and not at risk from whatever acidic rain does to you.

'Cause you've got a hold of my heart and I know it's worn

She doesn't pick up, no matter how many times the phone rings.

Deep down you know that everything has ran it's course, it's over.

So, won't you please spare me indignity?

You let out a bitter laugh as your phone turns off mid dial, the last thing you see from it is Velvette's contact picture.

And won't you please give me some decency?

The day started off like usual, Velvette's ungodly alarm went off, dragging you away from sleep like how a mother cat yoinks her kitten away, and untangled yourself from Velvette.

And won't you please call it if our time is through?

You made two cups of coffee for the two of you, [and left some for the other two Vees if they wanted a cup, you hoped Valentino burned himself.]

Paired with a breakfast that'd give the two of you energy throughout the day, the two of you talked about the days plans as you did your morning routines then separated for the work day.

'Cause I know that we fall apart when nothing's new

The two of you made plans that night to go check out a new club that opened up recently, and so you picked out your best outfit for the occasion along with your favorite heels, the exact ones that were now broken in your hand.

'Cause if we are near to through,

Nothing's new

Then when the two of you went to the damned thing your girlfriend was in awe because of the singer on the stage singing Bon Jovi songs, the performer even put their hand under her chin in a rather intimate style, and of course you got a little jealous.

I want to be close to you, but I don't know what to do

Honestly it was nothing new, she'd glance at other people, as would you.

It would lead to bickering, and the bickering would lead to unholy shenanigans that the writer of this fanfic does not want to go into detail on or when they got more hostile then the two of you liked, the two of you would separate for maybe a day or two, you had a separate apartment to go whenever these happened.

But this time, you guess it just hit a sore spot or maybe things had finally hit the limit.

Maybe it was inevitable that something like this would happen, maybe it was only a matter of time before this love of yours failed.

'Cause if we are near to through

You remember how everything started with Velvette, she was a fashion major and you were studying something else, the two of you met at some college party, you got her number and the two of you went on a couple of dates.

It may make it worse, and if I start to grieve

From movie theater date nights followed by a nice dinner to just simply joining the other two run errands, Oh how you missed those days when it was much simpler.

'Cause it feels you're 'bout to leave

You sighed as you got to the argument apartment, you slid the key into the door and opened it into the empty apartment, it was decent, much more dialed back then the room you shared in the vees tower, the walls were painted pale pink, white couches, and a matching pink rug covered the hard wood floor.

Forgive me, I'm not naïve, I've been here before

You made a beeline to the shower discarding your ruined clothes, and hopping straight into the warm shower, letting the water clean off the acidic rain.

So, won't you please spare me indignity?, and won't you please give me some decency?

Maybe it was for the better that it seemed the relationship was coming to an end, the two of you weren't good for each other, not anymore.

And won't you please call it if our time is through? 'Cause I know that we fall apart when nothing's new

You made up your mind up that once you charged up your phone, you'd officially end things with Velvette, hoping that maybe things would end smoothly.

Nothing's new, nothing's new, nothing's new

Unfortunately though, when you got out of that shower, Velvette was waiting for you, holding your dead phone in hand.

Nothing's new,

Like a child coming back for her toy.

nothing's new, Nothing's new, nothing's new,

Nothing's new, nothing's new, Nothing's new, nothing's new, Nothing's new, nothing's new

And that would be birth of a cycle of shitty behaviors from both parties, harsher fights that were publicized, messy break ups that left you swearing that that'd be the end, only to end up back in her bed two days later.

Nothing's new

Dark lipstick stains left on your skin and bleeding marks left on hers.

Please spare me indignity, and won't you please give me some decency?

With every time you came back to her you swore it'd be the last, but like any other addiction it was hard to stop, and eventually you would.

And won't you please call it if our time is through?

After getting ditched in the rain a couple times too many, and thrown aside for something more shiny and new.

'Cause I know that we fall apart when nothing's new

But for now you'd be by her side, drenched like a wet puppy dog, with your phone dead, heels broken and wrapped within her arms.

Nothing's new

GOOD EVENING FOLKS I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WROTE I was going to a thing then I got ideas that will be chopped up and given to other fics, editing will be my downfall.

Anywho thank you for tuning in! Goodnight folks!

[yichens]

edits i made in 2024 ✨

thanks for tagging me krish @i-got-the-feels [x] ♥ am also trying to incorporate the tumblr top ten posts into this bc i don't want to do that as it is, so thank you for tagging me into that antania @riggerbison [x] and zey @fadelsburger [x] ♥

Post your most popular and/or favorite edit/gifset for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)

tagging: @forcebook @thamepo @chezlalune @ruanbaijie @luna-lina @srnileforme @wanderlust-in-my-soul no pressure and if you've done this or something like this already, please send it my way or tag me into the post's replies! i'd love to look at everybody's creations and give them some love :')

JANUARY: morkday + holding hands [x]

the most popular and tbh my personal favorite was this morkday edit i made based on a quote that is from the damn city of bones (2007) by cassandra clare. i didn't know that back when this quote punched me in the face and made me think about it for a couple of days but i honestly laughed when i finally googled it... worked out very well tho! i love hand symbolism, especially in last twilight, and the golden colors are lovely for them ♥ i also ended up loving the last image in this set even if i first struggled with the composition.

this was my number 1 post on my tumblr top ten.

(also gotta add that it still feels insane that last twilight was still going on in 2024... it feels like it was ages ago. i barely remember most of it anymore, probably bc of the heartbreak and trauma. i'm a changed person in january 2025)

rest of the months under the cut bc i ramble!

FEBRUARY: valentine's day vice versa rewatch [x]

my best decision for last year was to rewatch both my school president and vice versa during the time before valentine's day. it healed me, held me gently, filled me with love and warmth. am happy that the set i made after that to show love, once again, for the romance show and soulmates couple of all time was both my most popular and personal fave ♥ i love how the set turned out and how the colors work in this. i will forever be thankful to vice versa for its colors and overall brilliance.

this was my number 8 post on my tumblr top ten.

MARCH: 23.5 episode 3 [x]

it's a close call between several of my 23.5 episode edits but this happens to be the most popular one during this month. i never finished 23.5 which somehow saddens me, but towards the end, i just lost interest, and so this edit series was also left unfinished. i liked the concept tho and loved playing with the colors each week!

tribute to mork methas [x]

personal favorite cannot be any other edit than this bc i put all my heart into creating it. i am still so angry about what last twilight did to mork as a character; how all his trauma and pain was pushed aside, how the story never gave him the space and time he needed, how on top of all else they managed to butcher this amazing man. i don't even want to look at him in episode 12 bc i cannot recognize mork there. he is no that person, at least not to me. mork my beloved, i wish the writers didn't hate you so much </3

(btw i have this whole explanation/essay written under this post in my drafts. it's mostly me sharing in detail the thought process behind me making this edit and going through the several elements in it. if anyone is curious, i can post it, just holler haha)

APRIL: us / thamepo pilot crossover [x] [x]

the most popular edit for this month deserves to be the edit i made for the us pilot that was revealed during gmmtv 2024 part 2. i am still very excited to see the show itself and follow their filming journey occasionally on twt. i am just soooo ready to break my heart over the tragic lesbians woven together with strings of comfort, self-discovery, and heart ache.

this was my number 2 post on my tumblr top ten.

i picked the thamepo sister set as my personal fave bc i cannot separate these two. it was fun to connect them together and switch around the dialogues we hear in these pilots bc they just worked. they had very similar vibes and both talked about somewhat forbidden love. no wonder am currently so into thamepo (i hope it stays that way, am done with all the disappointment i've experienced with shows lately).

this was my number 4 post on my tumblr top ten.

MAY: 23.5 episode 9 [x]

the most popular set of the month. not much else to comment. i love the shot of ciize in this one, she's so cute :(

puentalay k-i-s-s-i-n-g [x]

my favorite for this month! a very impulsive edit that happened solely bc this ear worm of a song (that puen would def listen to) wouldn't leave me alone. it's silly, it's fun, it's cute, it's sexy, it's passionate. it's everything i could ask for! i honestly had a ton of fun with this edit despite having to edit a bazillion (26) separate images for this. the fact that those images are mostly of puentalay kisses makes it worth it.

JUNE: we are episode 12 [x] / 11 [x]

during summer, i was deep in my we are era. i honestly loved each set i made for the series bc for the longest time, i've wanted to make sets like this. i had my struggles with some of them but they all worked out in the end! episode 12 was the most popular one and episode 11 is just my personal favorite bc i love the purple + hints of yellow/golden -combo.

JULY: we are final episode [x]

to honor this show and all its relationships, from romantic to platonic, i decided on a rainbow set. it worked super well and i am happy it was so popular ^^ i miss this whole bunch and the amazing summer we had together. (sorry about the quality of this screenshot, the set is too long to fit it on my screen hhh)

this was my number 10 post on my tumblr top ten.

morkday + pvris songs [x]

probably my favorite set i've made this year overall. my whole year was defined by pvris's music (my spotify top artist) and it felt appropriate to link it together with morkday (and puentalay). i love the layout of this set, the colors, the noise. getting into the lyrics and choosing fitting parts for each image was the best part. my favorite image in the set is the last one that i started from while creating this set. i love the background image for that so much. another one i like is the green one for anywhere but here, bc of the image itself but also bc of the song and its message.

AUGUST: we are couples [x]

due to traveling around a lot in august and being exhausted from that, i didn't create much. but i am extremely happy with this set that is both the most popular and my personal favorite! everything about this one just worked out. i feel like it really summarizes all of these couples and shows their different sides.

as a fun fact, i have to say that i never put too much thought into choosing the animals for each couple, other than picking the bird for chainpun (for obvious reasons). cat for phumpeem came through peem more than phum who is very dog coded to me. instead, dog (or wolf?) ended up with tanfang bc of tan's puppy-like nature. qtoey getting the bunny feels like a stroke of genius given to me during the making of this set bc looking at it now, it's perfect. they have that sweetness and energy in them i connect with rabbits.

SEPTEMBER: sanvee + moon phases [x]

ok i might have lied in the july part bc this might be my overall favorite edit i made in 2024. creating it was a battle tho, and i felt like screaming for the best part of the process bc nothing felt like it was working out and i had a ton of problems while figuring out the aesthetic and the typo and the texts. but it all came together better than i ever expected and i just love this set now. i was happy to see ppl liked this too, so this is the most popular edit of this month.

(oab)plawan + hurt by sleeping at last [x]

it's hard to pick a favorite for this month – despite the sanvee edit already being my obvious FavoriteTM – bc i also love my set for miss mhon (day's mother) [x] that let me went my frustration towards her and my puen x phum parallels set [x] that makes me feel wrong in the head. but i loved this love doesn't have long beans a crazy amount compared to how short and silly that show was. there's just something about oab and plawan - about sailub and pon. they dragged me deep into places with this show and this edit is my ode to that. it was fun to make in its simplicity, i love the colors in it, and pon as plawan is just too pretty (especially when he cries).

OCTOBER: pluto episode 1 [x]

considering how popular pluto has been and how desperate we all are for gls, am not surprised this set is the most popular one for this month. tbh all my pluto edits have been doing quite well in my standards. i love making these so am just happy you guys like looking at them ♥

pit babe pairs + cartomancy [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

never thought 2024 had a sudden pit babe obsession in its sleeve for me but i decided to embrace it. they've talked that the second season would start airing in april, after boys' journey s2 has ended most likely, and i am so very normal about all thi. i've fallen in love with all these boys, both the characters (more than i already was) and the actors, and this edit series only made everything worse. i haven't spent this much time researching things for an edit in a while and i just loved all the analysis i got to do. the process had its ups and downs but overall, i have to say i had a blast.

(picture chosen purely bc i vibed with this kim picture today, tho the kentakim edit might also be my favorite in the set bc the yellow is so good)

NOVEMBER: pluto episode 4 [x]

absolutely deserves to be the most popular set of this month! it's also my personal favorite out of all the edits i've made for pluto. the colors for this one just worked super well and the scenes are perfect, too. let's see how the series ends in two days, i hope i manage to find some fitting colors for the last episode, too :'D

this was my number 6 post on my tumblr top ten.

DECEMBER: yuanyi + you can love him, but you can't keep him [x]

the most popular set and also my favorite of this month, all bc i've gone down the rabbit hole with fangs of fortune. i spent an embarrassing amount of time making this set with all its details; starting from screenshotting the whole damn show and then picking the pictures for this edit from the over 400 images i got, to drawing the golden lines by myself on my drawing tablet so i got them just like i wanted. i shall be making so many more edits for this show, be warned.

this was my number 7 post on my tumblr top ten.

top 10 posts of 2024 then are:

morkday + hands (381 notes)

us pilot (295 notes)

last twilight episode 11 (285 notes)

thamepo pilot (283 notes)

jimmysea for starry magazine (271 notes)

pluto episode 4 (252 notes)

yuanyi + you can love him (231 notes)

vice versa rewatch 2024 (222 notes)

last twilight episode 10 (211 notes)

we are final episode (207 notes)

(you can check your top ten posts here)

it was fun to look back into my year in edits like this and see how i've gone through so many phases in 12 months. i cannot even recognize the person i was in around, let's say, last february. or during summer. it's insane how the night changes or however that thing goes.

thank you if you read this far, and if you've liked my creations or left nice tags under them, i thank you even more! it's an honor to be creating to everybody here and i am grateful that others keep enabling me even when i usually create for myself and maybe two other ppl. it is very important to me tho that i get to be part of this amazing community and don't need to just yell into the void by myself ♥

[0daylighthours0]

(part 2) A Deep Dive into Milkvan and Byler's Development: If Milkvan's Destined Endgame, Why's it Written Like This???

The decision to confirm Will to be in love with MIKE is wild, and I'll tell you why.

When you add a third party to a t.v show relationship, if the first relationship isn't perfect, people gunna start rooting for the third party. Take Stancy for instance.

Throughout s2, we got the vibes that Jonathan held feelings for Nancy. This was clear. But Nancy was still with Steve. This means, in order for us not to sympathize more for Jonathan, Nancy and Steve gotta be ✧ tight ✧. I mean, their issues must be kept at a low, and at the end of the day it's gotta be clearer to us that Nancy does in fact love Steve. Welp, that wasn’t the case. Stancy's relationship ✧ struggled ✧, justifying intimate moments between Nancy and Jonathan - making us feel as if he'd be better for her after all. A smart writing choice, as Duffers intended Jancy as season 2's endgame pairing.

Now, I'd like to point out the foreshadowing of this development.

Come the wrapping up of s1, and it seemed Nancy had retreated back to Steve.

They'd clearly reconciled and - to an outsider - all would appear to be going smoothly. But us as the audience know that not to be the case.

One reason? Well, she'd just shared a suggesting moment with Jonathan.

So our minds weren't on Steve and this show of his with Nancy. Rather, we read into Nancy's slight discomfort, and wondered if perhaps she'd prefer being with Jonathan instead.

This was of course intentional. I'd like to briefly bring to attention the similarities in these moments to ones at the end of s3 - between Mike and Will, and then Mike and El.

Here a conclusion to milkvan's seasonal drama is made, them seemingly staying together, parting on good terms. Hm. And milkvan's moment is.. kinda like stancy's. They got back together because, well, El said she loves Mike. And Steve loves Nancy. And Mike loves El right? The way Nancy loved Steve- But just, coincidentally, we have byler's reconciliation too.

This came before the guy's makeup with El, because, why? This was quite the interesting decision mates. It means that whilst he spends that moment with his girlfriend, our minds are fresh off of Will. People might read into the way he's acting in contrast, just maybe, the way they did during stancy. And people did. That's a bit of a fumble on the writers' part, if you ask me. I know you're trying to let us know that Mike's now on good terms with both members, and his and El's goodbye needs to be the dramatic finishing of the season, but, man, did byler even have to make up at all here you guys? I mean this miscommunication of theirs lasts through to s4 (just like janc-). Why not sort their good terms out later or earlier on, so that we have more mindspace here to focus solely on milkvan, our main main? Or at least, why not just have Mike apologize to Will and be done with it? He could even apologize alongside Lucas, making the moment less personal. And Will could simply forgive him, give a dudely pat it out, and that's it. We wash our hands.

But nah. There's this electricity in the air. The swelling music, the prolonged looks, this doesn't.. seem like a simple make up. It's startlingly short, making us feel as if there have been things left unsaid. And that line,

".. Not possible."

It's so... implying. What do you mean? Why are you looking at eachother like that? What am I meant to get from this scene?

And it isn't a closing reconciliation either, they haven't properly ended their season's drama. I mean no one even apologized for the argument, we're just sort of left with this. Left with the hint of a story that might be further explored - their moment coming off more as anticipation for what's to come than a conclusion. Maybe just a bit like Jonathan and Nancy s1.

But so what? That does not have to mean anything romantic between them is to be told. After all, El just expressed to Mike that she loves him. This means that these sweethearts are practically fortold as endgame, right?

Alright I'll stop stalling.

Season 4.

So. Will is in love with Mike now. Huh. Well, I don't recommend this. As I said, you risk people rooting for Will beyond their hopes for Mike and El as a couple. If this is a plotline you desire, it has to be navigated with precision. So this means that milkvan must be on their A game. Struggle between them has got to be handled delicately. As we see in stancy, and as we saw in s3, just making up at the end of it all isn't good enough. You can risk this mistake once, but we must like these guys together throughout season 4, more than we sorrow for Will. Infact, Will's feelings must not be made too big of a deal. Mike and El are going to stay together, so we should feel a bit sorry for him, but not gather any hope that things will actually work out to his favour.

Like Dustin in s2. He sprouted small feelings for Max, and so did Lucas. Lumax were the endgame, so Dustin's feelings were craftly navigated and not made more important than Max and Lucas' bond. We don't really feel that Dustin is in love with Max, moreso that he likes her and has some moments of jealousy aimed at Lucas. Noone really wanted him with her more than they rooted for Lumax, though we did sympathize for him and feel bad for him regardless.

So yeah, this can easily be written out for Will too. If his story's purpose is meant for the exploration of a gay kid navigating a still homoph#bic time, then there's a lot that can be done without even having to spare much screen time between him and Mike. Focus on his fear of judgement from Jonathan moreso maybe, or have Argyle say something - it can be whatever, mention something homoph#bic, mention something not homoph#bic and give Will hope, whatever - which sets off a thought or idea for Will that prepares his arc for the season.

Back to Mike and El - so we want a 'scared to say "I love you"' subplot. That's good, that good. Fleshes out Mike, plays into El's fears. Shouldn't be too hard.

There's already a mild problem though. This plot is playing out twice at once. We have our boy Will hosting this same fear of rejection by Mike - at least that's how things have been shot. His dread is portrayed through his restraint and timidity in revealing his painting to Mike. Will's painting is basically his version of a confession - the guy too selfless, shy and afraid to express his love outright.

So playing out this storyline at the double is.. a choice. I mean, Mike telling El he loves her is a big deal for the milkvans, shouldn't this romance dominate as much screen time as possible in order to be fully pumped up without any sidetracks to other insignificant in comparison feelings? S3 was already quite clumsy, why not have Mike and El's activities soak in all viewers' engrossment without any departures? Maybe spend a bit of time demonstrating how likeable and wholesome they actually are together. Now that we have Will's affection ontop it all, what's important is that Mike and El's camera time spent matters. They can be angsty, they can withhold some misunderstandings, but they still have to be a good. couple.

Oh yeah, also, Mike should blatantly display feelings for El and El only - duh.

.

..

huh ?

huh ? ? ?

[kiiecarrera]

it's been a week and i guess it's finally my turn to talk about outer banks season 4 and That Plot. brought to you by me reading the article on netflix's website here, specifically this part:

"Once they talked about it with Pankow, Jonas Pate says that Rudy embraced the “powerful way to end” the character’s journey. The co-creator remembers a great line that Chip Esten (who plays Ward Cameron) shared: “You got to end well. Your character’s got to end well.” "

it is absolutely insane to me that they would bring up chip and try to use that as some kind of connection to validate their decision to kill jj. they're not comparable at all.

on one hand we have ward cameron who was a bad guy. we saw that he was corrupted by power and greed and it made him a terrible person for the first two and a half seasons. when he died, it made sense. he died saving sarah's life, choosing his daughter over the gold and redeeming himself to her because that was what was important to him. it gave him peace and closure and brought his story full circle. what else was there for him to do? go to prison for killing peterkin, since he had taken the fall or go into hiding with a new identity? neither of those are satisfying endings.

on the other hand we have jj maybank. he's a kid who has been abused his entire life, judged for the family he's from and struggled with his self worth. after season three and the timeskip (which imo was dumb because it left so much unseen/untalked about for all the characters that were important) we're lead to believe that he has grown past all of that. he's built a stable home for himself and been given a chance to actually be happy. all of that is completely destroyed in season four. instead of showing any growth at all, he actually goes backwards and we see him spend the last weeks (days? the timeline on this show makes no sense to me) of his life getting drunk, treating his friends like crap, being emotionally neglected by his friends (which is a whole other issue because every single character this season was out of character, imo) and just generally having a bad time only to snap out of it for seemingly no reason. then when he's back on the right path (again, for no reason or on screen development) he's killed pointlessly by one of his abusers. he didn't die protecting anyone and he didn't die doing anything reckless despite what the writers keep trying to say. he died for no reason and as a character he didn't deserve that.

and honestly, storywise it makes no sense either. what plot is this driving forward? they need to get revenge on a character we just met eight episodes ago and don't really know anything about? why was that needed? also why did they bother making jj a genrette if it wasn't going to be relevant to anything in the long run? why are we supposed to give a fuck what happens to goat island now? part one felt like a completely different show because it really felt like it was shaping up for jj to get an inheritance, to get out of luke's shadow and be able to figure out who he was as himself, not as his family name and clearly that didn't happen. i don't see where we can go from here in ten episodes that make any of this satisfying or give any of the characters (especially kiara) the ending that they deserve.

[writing-until-i-drop]

Wildflowers For A Hangman Ch. 9

Summary:

Daisy, a career novelist, moves in with her college best friend Phoenix who has been permanently assigned to Top Gun with Dagger Squad. She finds herself instantly connected with a cocky pilot who's soft only for her and Jake can't help but want to know everything about her. When the past comes knocking at both of their doors, will they stand together or fall apart?

Or: The Dagger Squad can't cook and Jake falls in love with a woman who makes a mean lasagna while they work their personal trauma.

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x writer!femOC | 18+ (eventually) minors dni. Fluff, smut (eventual), idiots in love, past trauma.

A/N: Daisy starts to feel like a hostage but she comes to a decision.

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Previous Chapter

Natasha and Jake were unwilling to let me spend a minute of my day alone. When they were at work, I was hanging out with Penny, and if they were being kept late at work or had something else to do, another member of the Daggers was glued to my side. Right now, I was sitting on Rooster and Jake’s couch, playing Call of Duty with Rooster.

“Get him, get him, get him!” Rooster shouted as I aimed up my shot,

“I got him!” The headshot announcement flashed across the top of the screen. “Hell yeah!” We fist bumped as the round ended,

“You’re pretty good at this, Daisy.” Rooster stood, stretching. We had spent the last hour playing round after round without moving and my back was starting to ache. “Want another beer?”

“Yes, please,” I kicked my feet up on the coffee table, checking my phone. I had a missed call from Harvey and I swiped away the notification. I couldn’t talk to him before I made my decision on what I was going to do about Rudolph Lance or else I’d spill the beans and kick myself for it. “Actually, I think I’m going to go home.”

“No can do, Hangman and Phoenix will skin me alive if I let you leave before they get off.” I groaned, their love for me was undeniable, but the suffocating feeling was growing stronger with every hour that passed since the FBI knocked on my front door.

“I’m tired,” I complained, Rooster misunderstood me, pointing down the hallway.

“Second door on the left, take a nap.” The refusal was on the tip of my tongue but then it dawned on me that this would be the perfect moment to get some alone time. I feigned a yawn,

“Yeah, sounds good. Thanks for babysitting me, Roo,” He laughed, cracking open another beer.

“Listen, I realize we’re practically kidnapping you every day against your will and you’re trying to be a good sport about it but maybe once this whole situation is over, we can hangout and not have it be a hostage situation.”

Now I was laughing, a reaction that had been rare over the last few days. Rooster was a pretty good guy, I could see why he was friends with two of the most important people in my life. He could handle a serious situation but he didn’t take himself seriously, and he was a man who could see a need and meet it without being asked.

“If it means anything, you’re my favorite kidnapper so far, Roo.” It was true, he hadn’t given me any sad, pleading expressions, and had been prepared with a family sized bag of M&Ms and a twenty-four pack of beer. “Don’t tell Bob, I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Rooster laughed, “Now go, be alone for a few minutes.”

It was my first time in Jake’s room, I realized opening the door. He had been spending almost every night at my place instead and if he wasn’t in my bed, Natasha was. You get campus security called on you for a wellness check once in college and suddenly no one trusts you to be alone when things get hard. Ridiculous.

Jake’s room was neat and tidy, with green, plaid sheets on the bed, a cowboy hat on the dresser, and nothing on the walls. Men, I rolled my eyes at the lack of decorations. Maybe he’d let me buy a few things to hang up on the walls to make it a little more homey. I pushed out of my pajama pants and climbed into the right side of the bed out of habit, even though the left side had been my preferred side of the bed before meeting Jake, he had insisted on taking it because it was closer to the door.

The bed smelled like Jake’s cologne and it had me relaxing into the pillows, stretching out like a cat in the sun. I needed to figure out what I was going to do and the process of doing that had to start at the beginning. I pulled up the Wikipedia page on Rudolph Lance and read until I couldn’t see through the tears.

Rudolph Lance has admitted to ten murders and was convicted on January 13th 2002. His modus operandi (MO) was to stalk young couples, break into their homes, and torture them with a knife before ultimately shooting them in the head. While on trial, Lance pleaded guilty to the murders of ten people but did not provide details on his motive.

The FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit released a statement during their search for the killer stating that they believed he was motivated by a sense of excitement surrounded by the torture itself, which is why he did not spend more time on the murder itself [citation needed].

I remembered every minute of that night. My therapist had said that some victims of trauma tend to either suppress memories or remember them vividly. I was sadly part of the second group. When Rudolph Lance broke into our house, Harvey had been upstairs, sound asleep with a Beethoven CD playing on loop, which had drowned out all of the noises our parents made that night.

I had been playing hide and seek with my dad and had chosen the closet of their bedroom, its slatted doors had given me a clear view of every cut and stab Lance had inflicted on my parents. He had focused on my mother, taking his time with each of the cuts to draw out the pain. I knew there was nothing I could do, I didn’t have a cell phone and Lance never left the room to give me a chance to escape and go for help. It wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t save them.

The white carpet had been soaked red and when I ran to them, after hearing the front door shut, I found myself stained red. Our phone line had been cut, so I gathered Harvey in my arms, covered his eyes, and ran to our neighbors, banging on their door until Mr. Greene opened it with a shotgun in his hands.

The FBI questioning had been rough but the trial was even worse. The child advocate had done my hair in pigtails, which was a tad annoying as a twelve year old, and even though I could recall the entire event and clearly identify Rudolph Lance as my parent’s killer, the judge had decided that there was not enough physical evidence to move to a trial.

It had been the second worst day of my life. I was left with no answers and no resolution. Just a baby brother who didn’t understand that our parents weren’t coming back, a great uncle who didn’t know how to raise kids, and stories in my head begging to be put on paper.

If I agreed to speak with Lance, then I would get answers. The answers I had been chasing for over a decade and so would other families. He wanted to torture me, that’s what the FBI had said. I wasn’t naive enough to think that everything would go right and I would leave the prison with a smile on my face while a rainbow painted the sky. There was going to be a price to pay and whether I was willing to or not, I was the only one who could cash the check.

X

I was antsy to get back to Daisy. Maverick had been doing his best to accommodate the situation but he couldn’t just give me and Phoenix a month off of work to handle it. The squad had been a blessing, helping Phoenix and I watch over her. Phoenix hadn’t told us why she was so worried about Daisy being alone but I wasn’t complaining about being ordered not to leave Daisy’s side by her best friend.

“Hey, buddy.” Rooster greeted me, standing in the kitchen with a beer. I glanced around, not spotting Daisy anywhere but before I could panic, Rooster pointed down the hall. “She’s taking a nap but Hangman,” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Daisy’s dying for some time alone.” My knee jerk reaction was that that was not going to happen. But it made sense. Daisy was a homebody who enjoyed being left alone and we had been watching over her like hawks.

“I’ll talk to her,” He passed me his beer and I took a sip before passing it back. “How was she today?”

“She was fine, she’s a pro at Call of Duty, and she tried to make a run for it.” I froze, “But before you have a heart attack, remember that she’s currently asleep in your bed.” Right. That was a good point.

“Can you figure out dinner while I talk to her?”

“I’ve got your back, man.”

The sight of Daisy curled up in my bed was enough to make my chest feel lighter than it had in days. Her pajama pants were abandoned in the middle of the floor, which I folded and put on the desk. It felt good to have her in my space but it didn’t feel right. My room was far too spartan for her, she didn’t belong there, but I wanted her to.

My belt buckle hitting the floor woke up and she stretched out in bed, making a growly noise that made me smile.

“Hey, babe,” Daisy smiled, patting the space in bed beside her. “How was work?” The moment was so domestic it made my heart burst with happiness.

“It was good, there’s talk we’re going to be getting another big mission in a few months.” She nodded, blinking sleepily at me. “I heard you had fun with Rooster, baby.” I slid into bed beside her, bringing her in for a kiss. Daisy responded, wrapping her arms around my neck.

“Roo’s a good hostage taker,” She snuggled her face into my neck. Hostage. That word left a bitter taste in my mouth, is that how she saw herself?

“Are we suffocating you, baby?” Daisy sighed, kissing my collar bone.

“I know it’s with love,” Love.

“Lots of love,” I promised, my hand settling on her bare waist. “But if you need space and you promise me you’re not going to do whatever Phoenix is worried about, all you have to do is ask.”

“A few hours of alone time won’t kill me,” Daisy began playing with the hairs at the nape of my neck, pulling her head back so that she could look at me. “She’s worried I’m going to isolate myself and lock you all out.” I tightened my grip on her and she rolled her eyes at me, “I’m not going anywhere, Jake.”

“Rooster said you tried to run for it earlier,” Daisy’s eyes narrowed.

“Maybe he’s not my favorite babysitter anymore.” I laughed, kissing her forehead. “But don’t worry. I’m not running from this or you,”

“Good.”

“I’m going to do it,” She whispered with a frown. “I’m going to talk to him.” Pride and terror filled me in equal measure. She was going to do a very brave thing, one that would wreak havoc on her emotions, but I would be there by her side. That’s what I had to focus on. She was going to be fine because me, Phoenix, and the rest of the squad were going to be by her side the whole time.

“I’ll go with you.” Daisy kissed me, nudging her knee between my legs. I slid my hand to her ass, relishing the feeling as she moaned into my mouth. The door burst open, sending us apart.

“Please have clothes on,” Rooster shouted, standing in the doorway with his hand over his eyes.

“Roo!”

“What the hell, man?”

“Dinner’s ready,” Daisy groaned, pulling the comforter over her head. Rooster, still covering his eyes, “Thought you’d want to know. How’s the alone time, Daisy?”

“Go away, Roo.” He grinned,

“Sounds like it’s going good.”

“Want me to kick his ass, baby?” I whispered through the blanket, kissing her head. Daisy laughed,

“Can we eat dinner in bed?”

“Whatever you want,”

“Can I join?”

“No!” We shouted together, Rooster laughing his way out of the room.

Next Chapter

Taglist: @dizzybee03 @littlezee80 @cinderellasmissingshoes @carolina-on-my-mind03 @mizzzpink

[harrysmimi]

The Missing Co-writer

Coffee And Pancakes series P10

Synopsis: Harry doesn't feel to hide anymore

CW: Loads of fluff and sliver of a cute little drunkrry.

Series Masterlist | More of my work

Guess what?!

YN got an offer to write along with one of the most genius and know artist of her generation. Harry couldn't be more proud of his fiance!

Well, she took up on the offer just because how much she loved writing music with her Harry. He won Album of the year, for the album they both wrote together. Kinda. But there many songs he wrote with her which his fans love so much. That's what he wants, his fans to enjoy what he makes.

When Jeffery told YN about this offer she contemplated it like every life decision she has to make. Harry on the other hand was just so stubborn on getting her to agree on this because one, she loved to do it the first time around, two, she's got a fucking degree in music, and three, she get paid for it, which she so deserves. She didn't get paid it the first time around, well, she didn't wanted to.

She was there with him at the Grammy's, though she insisted on staying away from the cameras. Harry respected her decision to do so.

They had a great night afterwards at the after party. He introduced YN to all of his closest friends in the industry, the ones he knows would respect his privacy and not talk about this publicly.

But today, he missed her like hell!

He was at the Brit awards. Nominated for four of the categories. But his love was away to work on this new project she seemed so excited for.

He doesn't want to hold her back so, when he told her he was having a great time preparing for the award show... he lied. Whilst she wouldn't be able to make it back home in time, he doesn't want her to be lost and feel guilty for anything. He's sure she'll be watching him on the TV anyway. At the end, he gets to have her all to himself and celebrate all over again for achivement he got for the work they did together.

He asked Gemma to go with him, lile he did last time and she did agree. They were having a good time but he still missed his YN there. All three times he mentioned people who helped him write this album so special to his heart, he contemplated on mentioning her name. Not because he doesn't feel like he should or anything of the stupid reason, just because he wants to keep her protected so badly!

YN already got enough hate, even though people don't know her name, who she is, what she does, what she is like in person. No one deserves that.

Yes, he did kissed Lewis Capaldi drunkenly but he knows YN will be laughing more when they're reunited by in three days.

With a drink in his hand and his phone in the other, he made a treck to the bathroom. He wanted to call her and talk to her. He needed to.

One ring...

Two ring...

Three...

"Hello Hazza!" Her happy voice chirped through the call.

"Hi, baby." Harry smiled with his phone held upto his ear. He could hear the award show playing in the background from her side.

"I am so proud of you, Harry. Three put of four, and you got to kiss Lewis!" She gasped in pure joy. "Not gonna lie, Niall is going to be real mad at you and it did made a tiny bit jealous."

That earned a giggle from him, "I'm sorry about that. I miss you so much, I wish you were here with me baby." His voice wavered as his eyes got teary. "We did this together. For the first time, this is happening to me and couldn't be more proud of us. I wanted to call you up and say how much I love you. I fucking love you so much, YN. Without you this wouldn't have been possible. Thank you for being my muse and my rock throughout these years. I'm gonna need this till my heart stops pumping inside me chest. I know how right of s decision I made by asking you to marry me. I want you to know how I appreciate you for everything you do, even though I don't mention you tonight in any of my speeches. I just want to protect you."

"I know you do love me Harry," YN sighed on the other side. He was sure she's crying too by now, "I know you appreciate me, and you exactly know why. They say 'don't meet your heros', but I'm so fucking glad I did! I wish I was there with you too. You don't have to mention me any of your speeches to tell me how you about us. I'd have it just between you and I."

"I just don't want you to feel left out, my love. Because you're not." Harry sniffled. "Also, I don't want to hide anymore. I want to be able to hold you close and not worry about being photographed, and, and want to kiss you wherever we are. Want to brag about how amazing my love is! I truly do. But I want to protect you, you already get enough slack for choosing to stay by my side."

"I know but we can't control it, can we now?" He could hear her sniffle on the other side, "I want you to do what you want to. Not going to hold you back, we can get through anything and everything together, right?"

"Mhmm." He nodded to himself. "I love you so much."

"I love you so much!" She reciprocated, "now tell me the truth, you're crying because you're drunk right?"

"Hey!" He whined just to hear her soft giggles from the other side, "you're a meanie!"

"No, I'm not!" She teased him, "stay safe Hazza, I'll be home day after tomorrow."

"Mhmm, I'd stay longer and talk to you hut Jeffery is calling me now." He shared. "Maybe I'll skip the party later."

"No, I want you go. Please Harry?" She requested, "I don't want to skip on anything because pf me. You already don't go out when you're home."

"Okay." He sounded. "I love you!"

"I love you more." She chuckled. It was like almost the tenth time he's saying that to her.

"This is not a compitition but," he slurred, "I love you more!"

"Okay, you win."

"See it wasn't that hard to agree, was it?"

"Hmm, I think you would be in trouble as Jeffery is texting me to ask you to get off the call they're about to announce Album of The Year." She shared.

"Fuck! I should go." He sighed.

"Mhmm, I'll see you soon."

"See you baby, be safe okay?"

"You too, Harry." He could hear her smile through the phone, "and no, I wasn't going to admit, it's a fact I love you more. Bye!" And the call went dead before he could argue.

......................................................................

"And the winner is..." Stanley Tucci opened the envelope to announce the winner, "Harry Styles."

Harry was ecstatic. Hugging Gemma and fist bumping everyone on his way to the stage.

"There is literally no one I love more in this world than Stanley Tucci. Thank you very much!" Harry chuckled as he looked at his award and pauses for a moment, "umm... This uhh... This night has been really special to me and I will never forget. Thank you so much for the welcome home. I appreciate so much there is no place like home. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm so so proud to be an British Artist out there in the world, I'm so proud to be here tonight celebrating British Artists, British Music. Thank you, thank you, I'm going to hand it to Tom and Tyler. Thank you so much for this. I'm so grateful, thank you!"

Harry glanced at his friends who are also his co-writer on the album. But one of them was missing and it was bugging him so much. He took in a deep breath.

"I want to thank my missus, who, who uhh... has been a great support. She wrote this album with us too. I couldn't be more in love with or grateful to a person than I am to you. Thank you, thank you so much for being my muse and my rock through all these years. And... I love you!" He flashed a sheepish smile and blew a little kiss to the crowd before he walked down the stage.

......................................................................

"Harry you did not!" YN exclaimed the first thing after she entered through the door of their flat, dropping her bags on the floor.

"Yes I— owh!" He grabbed onto her tight as she launched on him with a bear hug. "Yes I did baby!"

"You won all four of them!" She celebrated, "I am so fucking happy for you," she placed a smoothering kiss on his mouth, "you deserve every bit of happiness and success out there. I'm so, so, so, so proud of you!"

"Thank you, darling." He chuckled at her excitement as he hugged her again, "I thought you were going to kill me for saying I love you to you on TV!" He pulled away to get another deserving kiss.

In her own words; he deserved every happiness in this world!

"I would be mad if you didn't." She rolled her eyes.

"Did you..." he sighed, "just rolled your eyes at me, baby?"

"Oh come on, I am so proud of you Harry!" She clung onto him like a Koala bear again.

No, she's just that short in front of him.

"I missed you!" He picked her up and waddled his way to the sofas so they can sit and talk.

"I missed you!" She reciprocated. "When did you get home after the after-party?"

"At five in the morning the next day." He smiled sheepishly as he sat both of them down, YN straddling gis lap.

"Look at you!" She playfully punched his arm. "No but seriously Harry, I do think you hold back to go out and have fun with your friends like you used to. You don't have to stay back just because I have the most boring personality ever!"

"Who said you have a boring personality?" He scoffed, "I'd rather stay home with you and teach Milo new trick, make some new recipe and make a disaster of out kitchen or just watch TV, or, wait for it... this one is my favourite: have sex." That earned a laugh from her, "Than go out and drink, torture my kidneys and have a hangover for next three days."

"Okay." She nodded.

"You did not install twitter on your phone again, right?" He asked.

"Nope." She assured him. Because she didn't.

"Good because ee don't even want to go there." He took in a breathe of relief. "We still need to plan more for our wedding though, don't we?"

"Mhmm!" She nodded. "You sure you want to go for The Savoy than your villa in Italy, or better Anne's backyard garden that she offered for us to use?"

"What's wrong with the hotel?"

"Haz, it's very expensive!"

"So is going to be the villa." Was his only argument.

"Well, no, you own it. And it's less expense. You can even make that money back, by putting it on for rent. For maybe a month or so, I'm sure." She suggested.

"What's wrong?" He could just read through her, "you know you can share it with me, baby. Is something bugging you.

"I don't know," she sighed, "I want to be an equal part on this. I'm saving up for when we get our new place. And everything adding up gets very expensive. On my side at least."

"Mm." He sounded and took his time to think.

Look, he does want to be a part this whole planning thing. The only thing he doesn't want disrupted is their wedding. The hotel provides more privacy, he can have his team sign and agreement with them. His mum's backyard garden and the Italian villa can be invaded. In fact his pictures were taken ages ago with a drown in his private property.

"We'll split it." He answered, "I don't want our special day be ruined by people invading our privacy. The villa isn't that... How do I put this? Safe enough for our privacy. I don't want to force you nor do I want to make you feel less. Just chip however much you can or we'll figure something else, yeah?"

"Hmm, I'll think about it." She nodded.

Milo jumped up on the sofa spooking his mother and making his dad laugh, meowing for attention. Harry has been a amazing cat dad since day one!

"Hello my love!" YN cooed and picked the little feline up. He started purring immediately.

"He's very fucking partial!" Harry gasped looking at the kitty. "He never comes upto me like this."

That just made YN laugh.

......................................................................

N O T E :

Pls lemme know how you liked this one.

And if you have any requests for THIS particular couple, I'm taking in requests.

......................................................................

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[uniquexusposts]

Her || Charles

Main characters: Charles Leclerc x OC Genre: fanfiction, fluff  Story type: novel  Part: 16/? Word count: 3815 Co writer: @mistrose23

Story summary: Matilde Jørgensen, the new Scuderia Ferrari team principal, faced the nerve-wracking challenge of reviving the team's fortunes and aiming for a championship. Leading a historic team as a 'newbie' and separating her work and personal opinions posed a significant challenge. The big question: is she capable to do so?

Previous chapter

Chapter 14. To Lead A Team

"Ugh," Matilde groaned when she got the sentence incorrect. Her eyes shot to the hearts in the top right corner of her phone; one heart left for six more exercises. She had days when the Duolingo lessons would go great, but there were more days when she was really struggling to pass one lesson. Italian was tough for her. She wanted to master it since she was one of the few people in the team who couldn't speak the language. Especially since she was the team principal. Plus, the main language to communicate in the team was Italian, so she really wanted to understand the language.

She sat in a meeting room, waiting for the team to arrive. They had a meeting about the upcoming race in Austria. If she was honest with herself, she didn't know what she could expect.

The ambience in the team had changed, once again. After Monaco, there was tension; team Charles and basically team Matilde for once. A few people agreed with Fernando Alonso during the post-race interview:

"But if your driver says that he is coming in, even when you tell him no, you still send the crew out just in case," Fernando said, defending Charles.

But most of the team, agreed with Max during the interview:

Max looked at him. "Yes, but if your team principal, not even your race engineer, but team principal, says not to pit and stay out multiple times, you stay out," he replied, defending Matilde. "If you still go in after being told no, what do you expect?"

It didn't help that Charles remained frustrated. The media picked it up during the following Grand Prix in Barcelona. Even though Matilde moved on and focussed on the next race, Charles kept showing that he felt hurt by the action. And not because it was a consequence of his own action, no, he still blamed Matilde for it. Charles showed it, and he sometimes even dared to spill a thought to the media and dodged and ignored questions about his team principal.

During the Spanish Grand Prix, Ferrari showed an almost perfect pace once again. Friday was a less perfect day, but it was the day to provide feedback and make the right adjustments. On Saturday, both the Ferrari drivers made it to Q3 during qualifying; Charles qualified as third and Carlos as second. Yet again, Max got pole.

On Sunday, during the race, Carlos had a perfect start and almost passed Max in turn one. Carlos gained time and kept following Max for a while before he passed Max and became the race leader. In the end, he won his home Grand Prix. Charles was pleased with Carlos' result, but he couldn't hide his jealousy. Charles finished third, which is a decent result, and he couldn't do more to get a better result. Despite the positive weekend, Charles threw a questioning quote in the media about Matilde and her leadership:

"Look," Charles said in the post-race interview, his frustration clear in his voice. "We had a clear opportunity to win in Monaco, and it was thrown away. I could get more out of this race, but I wasn't allowed to. I can't help but think that sometimes decisions from the top don't align with what's best for the team on the track."

Matilde had an interview herself after the race, praising the work of Carlos and of Charles; they both did everything they could do during the race and she was proud of them. She saw the fragment of Charles when she was back at the hotel and she couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had supported Charles throughout the ups and downs, and now he was publicly questioning her leadership. It stung, especially since she knew her decision in Monaco had been the correct one, and she knew the team couldn't do more for Charles during the race in Barcelona.

Back at the office, a few days after the race, the team began with fresh motivation, working on the set-up for the next Grand Prix: Canada. Everything went smoothly, the Grand Prix went well for Ferrari; P2 for Charles and P3 for Carlos. Everyone did their tasks during the weekend, but certainly not more.

It made Matilde think. Was she good enough to be a team principal? She had a driver who openly spoke about how he thinks about her, a part of the team was picking the drivers side and the board kept complaining about the way Matilde approaches things. Matilde took a deep breath, closed her Duolingo app, and prepared for the meeting that lay ahead.

The invited people of the meeting entered the room. The drivers, with their race engineers, entered the meeting as the last ones. Laurent Mekies, the race director, opened the meeting with a presentation about the team's progress, accomplishments and long-term goals. He discussed the data from their drivers' sim sessions and compared it with the data from other teams. Austria was coming up, an important race since it was a strong track for both Ferrari and Red Bull. During that Grand Prix, either could win.

Someone asked a question about the team's budget allocation, a critical issue that could determine the extent of their success. Mekies looked at Matilde, passing the question to her. She explained the rationale behind the budget distribution, the sources and expenses.

But Charles seized the opportunity to launch his attack. "With all due respect, Jørgensen," he began, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I've been wondering about this budget distribution. It seems to me that you're playing it safe, just like on the track. We need to take risks to win, not settle for mediocrity."

Matilde felt her heart skip a beat, she didn't expect this attack. And the way he called her out by her last name... Her lips parted and her eyebrows slightly raised, she was lost for words. "Charles, I appreciate your input, but we have a well thought-out strategy. It's based on careful analysis and ensures the team's long-term stability." She showed a smile. "I can send you the files, if you prefer to read it on paper."

He chuckled. "Stability? We don't need stability, we need victories. We need to be aggressive, go for it. We can't wait. If we wait, the opportunity has passed us."

"I agree, however, we cannot just go for it when the time isn't right," she shot back with fire. "Once again, I respect your passion for winning, but the decisions we made are not based on impulsiveness, they're grounded in data and experience. I trust the expertise of the team."

"Well," he said, leaning forward against the table as if he were about to deliver a killer blow. "It seems you're more of a manager than a leader. A real leader would listen to the voice of the driver who put his life on the line every race."

The room fell silent. The team exchanged nervous glances, unsure of how she would respond to Charles' provocation.

Finally, she spoke, her voice tinged with steel. "A real leader knows when to trust the experts and when to rely on data, not just emotions. Our decisions are calculated for the team's success, which you are also part of, and not to satisfy one individual's ego."

"Why are you taking everything personally?"

"I would like further elaboration," Matilde replied, folding her hands together, straightening her back.

Charles raised his eyebrows and looked at Carlos, blinked and looked back at Matilde. He noticed how involved Carlos' family was during the Spanish Grand Prix and how Matilde reacted to it. As a result: she got invited to a dinner with the Sainz'. Charles saw the Instagram post, apparently it was a home cooked dinner - Charles knew if Carlos invited you over for a home cooked dinner, something was going on.

"Are you referring to the dinner I attended with the Sainz family? It was in recognition of the work during the Spanish Grand Prix and as a gesture of their appreciation due to their courteous nature," Matilde replied to his facial expression and collected some files that were laying in front of her, she liked to sort them and put them neatly back on a stack.

For once, Charles seemed caught off guard. People in the room shared glances; from satisfied to impressed. Charles' expression shifted from arrogance to frustration.

"If someone has to say anything, please do. I rather want to hear it now and prevent rumours, than afterwards when I can't change a thing. I value open communication within our team, but it must be done internally and constructively. We are in this together, not alone, and it is our goal to win together." Matilde shared a look with Charles, who leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, his eyes locked on her as if she were a target. Matilde didn't react to his look, but internally, she was tearing apart.

As the meeting continued, Matilde was focussed on her colleagues. She kept her cool, focussing on the facts and logic that underpinned her decisions. She also wrote some notes down for her therapist she was seeing after the meeting. She knew that being the leader of a F1 team came with immense pressure, and she had her ways of coping with it. One of those ways was speaking to a therapist to manage the stress and maintain her focus.

After the meeting came to an end, Matilde stayed in the meeting room. She booked it for some privacy, sitting in her fishbowl office was too confronting for herself and for others to see her talk to her therapist. The session was online, since her therapist lives in Denmark. She preferred to have a Danish therapist, it is easier than having a therapist in a country she didn't even speak the language of - and even though she was almost fluently in English, she still preferred to talk about herself in her mother language.

Matilde glanced at her watch, she still had ten minutes left. She decided to go to the cafeteria to grab some fruits and a snack. While she was at the cafeteria, she thought about the moment she knew she needed to see a therapist.

It actually started after Miami, after the incident, when she sat on the plane to Copenhagen with Kevin. After their conversation, Kevin messaged Lars, saying he was worried about Matilde's well-being, but that it was not up to him to say something about it. He thought it was more comfortable for Matilde to hear it from her brother than a fellow Dane who she knew, but who also happened to be friends with her brother. So when Matilde arrived at her mother's house to celebrate her mother's birthday, Lars took Matilde outside for a talk, since he also was concerned about her well-being.

"Mati, are you seeing a therapist?" Lars carefully mentioned.

They sat down on a bench next to the pond in the backyard of their mother's house.

"Why?" Matilde frowned.

He shrugged. "I think it would do you well to talk to someone," he said and looked at his younger sister; she was looking in front of her, clenching her jaw. "I have seen the tweets about the restaurant. And I know you well enough to know that you would have spent the evening with your team instead of Red Bull if there was nothing going on."

Tears filled her eyes and she sniffed. "I know," she whispered and she told him about what happened. "I'm on the waiting list, I'm working on it, but I can't make the procedure go any faster," she finished her story.

"Ferrari has therapists, right? Why are you on a waiting list at Ferrari? You are basically the most important person at Ferrari."

"I'm sure there are therapists at Ferrari, but I don't want a therapist at Ferrari, not within the team or someone who has connections to the team - even if it is externally. I called at the beginning of this season, Christian recommended it. I'm still not through it, as you see," she shrugged and dried her eyes.

Lars nodded and he hugged her. "Fair. But who did you call to still be on the waiting list after three months?"

"Alma."

"Alma? Alma, who helped us through the divorce of mum and dad?"

Matilde nodded into his chest. "I thought it would be familiar to call her. She helped us through the divorce, even though I am still convinced that the divorce did not have that much effect on us. Anyway, I want to talk about my troubles in Danish, not English or cracky Italian."

Lars nodded. "Understandable. And you know, the divorce had an effect on us, but we haven't noticed it. Alma helped us through it. Those people can see what it does to someone, and even when it does nothing." He grabbed his phone. "Is it for work or personal?"

"Work," she mumbled. "What are you doing?"

Her brother raised his phone to his ear and ignored the question. A polite smile came on his face. "Hello, this is Galileo, Matilde Jørgensen's assistant. Yes, hello."

Matilde straightened her face and she slapped him on his arm.

He pushed her away and raised his finger to silence her. "I'm calling to ask for an update on the waiting list." He listened. "Yes, I am fully aware that this is confidential, but it is urgent." He nodded. "I know, but we have to plan the sessions. Do you know who she is? She is the team principal of Scuderia Ferrari in Formula 1. I don't know if you know Ferrari, but it is a circus and she desperately needs someone to talk to because it's causing mental health problems." He was silent again. "Matilde instructed for work only, but it will be a better plan to do work and personal. Yes. I will give you to her. Thank you. Yes. Have a nice day." Lars gave his phone to his sister. "Make your appointments ASAP," he said.

And since Miami, she didn't see just one therapist, but two therapists; one for work and one for her personal state. Every three weeks she would see Alma to talk about her personal life, and every week she would see Otto to talk about her work. And she had to admit, she was glad her brother pushed through. She couldn't imagine how it would be if still didn't have someone to talk to. It was a sense of relief and she had the feeling she could continue her adventure more easily, the balance came back in her life.

Today she had to see Alma, and it was the perfect timing, almost like it was planned this way. After a visit at the cafeteria, Matilde came back with hot tea, an orange and a nut bar. She took a deep breath and entered the scheduled Teams call.

When Alma popped up on her screen, she felt a sense of comfort over her.

"God eftermiddag, Matilde," Alma greeted Matilde with a kind smile.

A smile came on Matilde's face. "Hej."

"Hvordan har du det?" Alma asked, curious to know how her client was doing.

Matilde leaned back in her chair and took a sip of her tea. "I'm fine," she replied and nodded. "It's been a busy week, a busy couple of weeks, actually."

"How do you feel about having a second session? What were your thoughts after the first session?"

"It's much needed," Matilde replied. "I feel like it helped, even though it was just the first time."

"Can you describe your feelings about it?"

Matilde looked away, she looked at the wall next to her. "A sense of relief, I think. Uhm..." She looked back at the laptop screen. "I'm aware of the job I have, but it also requires a lot of effort and energy, and it feels good to talk about it, to find ways to manage everything. Uhm... Also to explore my personal challenges, I guess."

The therapist wrote something down and nodded once again. "That is good to hear. From what I can remember from when you were younger, a young girl, you also had a sense of realism and soberness. I can hear it in your way of thinking now as well," she warmly smiled. "But how have you been feeling lately?"

They talked about Matilde's personal life, discussing her family, friends, other relationships, her emotions in work and the different emotions that had surfaced in the past three weeks. Alma listened and provided guidance and support, helping Matilde navigate her feelings and come to a deepening understanding of herself.

"I know you talk with Otto about your work," Alma began. "But what are your feelings towards your position now? Last time you mentioned you were still figuring out what your thoughts are on your position. What are your thoughts today?"

Matilde played with the red wristband and twirled it around her wrist. "There are days where I feel like I am on the top of my game," she mentioned, her voice wavering slightly as she struggled to find the right words. "But sometimes I'm thinking about quitting."

"Why?"

Tears welled up in Matilde's eyes, and she blinked them back, her emotions getting the better of her. Alma was a safe space, but Matilde was still at the office. She was afraid someone would walk in and see her cry, a sign of weakness. But in this moment of vulnerability, she felt a flood of pent-up emotions rushing to the surface. "I want to be the best team principal I can be to the team," she continued, her voice quivering with emotion.

"You say 'the' team, why not 'my' team?" Alma observed.

"It isn't my team, it doesn't feel like my team," Matilde whispered and looked away from the laptop. She sniffed. "I joined an existing team, I became part of the team, but it doesn't feel like my team." It was silent, Alma gave Matilde time to think. "I sometimes just wonder if I'm cut out for this role."

Alma nodded, her warm and understanding presence a source of comfort. "It's completely natural to have doubts and moments of vulnerability, Matilde. Your role is incredibly demanding, and it's okay to acknowledge the pressure you're under."

Matilde wiped away a tear that had escaped, her emotions now more visible than ever. "I just don't want to let anyone down," she confessed. "I don't know if I can do it. I feel like I am flogging a dead horse." She looked at Alma again. "Quite literally and figurally." Matilde dried her eyes. "I have to lead a team who didn't welcome me at first, I have people who work against me and I feel like they would rather have me fired yesterday than today. But I have a deal, it's also my contract, but I have a deal with myself: if it doesn't work by the end of the season, I will quit and just... I don't know, go away from F1."

Alma nodded once again. "Why do you want to do this? Why don't quit today?" she scanned Matilde's face. "I don't want you to quit, but what if you have the option to quit today without any problem. Why don't you quit?"

"Because I want to win."

"You can also win at your previous job you loved. Or you can win life by doing something you love to do. So why Ferrari?"

"I want to make them win, because I thought I could take the challenge. I've seen three people fail, if I can call it like that, and I was convinced I could do it," Matilde said. She snorted and shook her head. "I am such a clown for even trying to think about it."

"Let's start on the clown part, Matilde. You are not a clown for trying; you're courageous for pursuing your passion to a further level. But there is a part of you that wants it and knows that you can do it. Why do you think that? Why do you want to do this?"

Matilde took a deep, shuddering breath, her emotions still raw and exposed. The tears in her eyes kept flowing over her cheeks, she couldn't help it. "To show everyone that I can do it."

"Do what?"

Matilde looked down and the tears rolled over her cheeks. "This." She paused, her voice trembling with the weight of those expectations. "Leading a team, make it a winning team."

"Why?"

"Because I was told I wouldn't make it in life when I was younger." She blinked, making her vision clear.

"Like?"

"I wasn't smart, but I also wasn't dumb," she mumbled. "I didn't fit anywhere. And when I found something I liked, teacher's advised me to not even start with it." She wiped away the tears from her cheeks. "And when I finally did something I liked, something I found my passion in, I was told that I could not find or get a job in motorsport. And when I got a job in motorsport, I was told that I wouldn't succeed and that I wouldn't last longer than a year. And when I got this job, I was told that I would fail. A woman wasn't supposed to lead a Formula 1 team, especially a top team like Ferrari. I want to show everyone that I can lead Ferrari to a victory, to winning a world championship, that I can succeed in a world that has been dominated by men for so long. I believe in this team, I believe in Charles and Carlos-"

The door of the meeting room flew open. Charles stepped into the room, not expecting anyone. A light shock went through his body when he noticed someone sitting at the head of the table; his team principal was still sitting at the same spot as an hour ago. His face fell when he saw Matilde crying, quickly wiping away the tears and clearing her throat. "Oh, eh, sorry," he mumbled. His eyes scanned the table, where he found his pass. "I didn't know you were here. I forgot my pass," he said and pointed at his pass.

"You can grab it," Matilde neutrally said.

Charles hesitated momentarily, seemingly unsure whether he should get it or leave and pick it up later, since she was upset and he interrupted her. The atmosphere in the room felt tense and awkward. After a brief internal struggle, he decided to get his pass. He heard Matilde say something in an unfamiliar language to her laptop, Charles didn't recognise the language, but it had to be Danish. Someone talked back to her, she was in an online meeting or something. "Thanks," he mumbled, grabbing the pass from the table and making a swift exit from the room. The door closed behind him, and he walked back to the engineer's area.

"Found it?" Xavi asked, grabbing his stuff.

Charles nodded and showed his pass. "Ready to go."

Next chapter

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