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torreshalstead · 9 months ago

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a choice born from hope not fear

Summary - She couldn’t, wouldn’t, end up alone like Voight with no one else to call in a crisis.

She deserved more than that and she had a choice to make.

11x13 Speculation Fic

Notes - The idea for this was born at 4am so I hope it makes sense but it was my attempt of making a little sense of the road they seem to be leading Hailey down for her exit. Happy Reading ❤️ AO3 Link

He had called her.

He had been told to call the person he loved most and Voight had picked her.

In the moment Hailey didn’t really comprehend his actions, put any thought behind his decision, the phone call was merely a means to an end for her and the rest of the team and that’s exactly what it ended up being. They got Voight back, Matson was shot and killed and pronounced dead on scene. Voight bore some marks of visible injuries, they hadn’t managed to get to him before Matson had started to inflict some of the torture that he got off on. But he was alive and had been taken to Med. Telling Matson’s wife had been left to Kevin, he was always the best with loved ones and he had volunteered to break the news.

Afterwards the rest of the team had gone home in one piece.

But as she sat on her couch, curled underneath a blanket and staring at the blank TV, Voight’s actions were beginning to make her think.

He had been a cop for over 30 years, lived in this city his entire life, swore to protect it and almost lost his life for it more than once and the only person he had thought to call at that exact moment had been her.

She was the only person left in his life.

His wife was dead.

His son was dead.

His grandchild moved away.

His best friend was dead.

Hailey was all he had left.

As she looked down at her left hand, the ring finger still hauntingly empty, she released if she kept going the way she was, she was going to end up like him.

And not in a Sergeant of her own unit, a cop that people feared more than they respected, crossed lines without thinking of the consequences kind of way.

But in an alone kind of way.

If she kept throwing herself into work as hard as she was, isolating herself and failing to build on the friendships she had once treasured, she would end up alone like Voight.

And that thought terrified her.

Hailey had thought she would be fine on her own, and had spent many years of her life living up to that self imposed expectation. She worked hard, excelled at her job, kept people at arm's length and was happy for most iterations of the word.

And then she joined Intelligence and learnt it could be so much more.

She had joined Intelligence, reconnected with Trudy, met Jay, become a part of the unit, a part of something bigger than her and she was no longer alone.

She had a place, a purpose. She had people that would miss her if she was no longer around, that cared about her.

And she relished that feeling.

Somewhere along the murky lanes that had been her life for the past 15 months, she had gotten lost and forgotten how much she enjoyed those connections. How part of being something bigger, made her a better person. After Jay had left her, she had questioned everything, everything about herself and who she was and had come to the conclusion that the only solution was to lock herself away. Bottle up all her emotions and attempt to control them by running for miles on end and tiring herself out to the point of exhaustion.

But all she had done was ended up alone.

If she had been the one to be taken. If Matson had told her to call the person she loved most in this world, would she have had anybody to call?

She let out a shaky breath as she glanced at the phone sitting face down on the couch next to her.

She wouldn’t end up like Voight.

She couldn’t end up like him.

She still had so much to give in this world, so much of herself still to discover to end up being a person who had no one to call when the going got tough.

As Hailey reasoned it, she had three choices.

She could stay in Chicago, the city that had been her home for her entire life and she could truly make it a home. She could work on the connections she already had, accept the dinner invitations when they were offered, agree to the after work drinks and even attend dance recitals to support Makayla. She could go throw her net wider, find like minded people and truly feel at peace with her decision to stay here. She could find a running group and learn to love the exercise she did rather than viewing it as a punishment or a tool. She could be the Hailey Upton she always wanted to be in the city that she loved.

Or she could leave. The country was a big place, and any major city would have enough crime to keep her occupied as a seasoned cop with over a decade under her belt. She could go to Miami or Atlanta, Portland or Boston. Somewhere where nobody knew Hailey Upton. No one had links to the past she had tried to hide or the person who no longer felt like her. She could stay in Intelligence work or move across and try something new. She could use a fresh start and the possibilities were almost limitless.

Or she could answer her phone when it rang.

He had called her once a week, every Saturday evening for the past 4 months and she had never once answered. He didn’t leave a voicemail, didn’t send her a text, just called her like clockwork. And like clockwork she watched as his name flashed across her screen and then went blank.

She didn’t know what Jay wanted and if she was being honest with herself, she was terrified to find out.

They were divorced, he had returned the papers signed after she had sent him a text asking him to and she hadn’t spoken to him since. They were strangers now, two individuals with lives that didn’t interconnect or cross paths. And you didn’t pick up the phone to strangers.

Except, he wasn’t a stranger. Not truly. He was Jay.

He was the Jay who made her believe that she could love and be loved and it wasn’t a terrifying prospect. He was the Jay who made her waffles and told her that he loved her before showing her in every possible way. He was the Jay who had her back on the job and kept her safe.

He was the Jay who broke her heart.

Maybe he was calling to explain, to apologise.

She didn’t know if she wanted to hear it, if she could even accept his apology if he were to offer one. Too much had happened, too much they couldn’t take back.

So she ignored his calls.

But they kept coming.

Answering them was her third choice. Her final option. She could risk her heart again, risk losing a part of herself she had been trying desperately to regain all for the sake of not being alone again.

Because that was what life was right? That’s what human’s strived for. To find someone to share life with, to find someone to walk alongside you so you didn’t have to go through it alone. Someone to share the big moments with and the small, the life changing and the mundane. Someone to hold your hand and be on your side.

Hailey wasn’t certain of much anymore, everything she believed to be true had been warped one way or another but she knew she didn’t want to be alone. She knew she wouldn’t end up like Voight having nobody to call when the worst happened. She deserved more than that. She deserved to give herself a chance.

It was a Saturday night. Her phone would ring any minute.

She took a deep breath, her breath still shaky but her hands steady and flipped the phone over.

She had made her decision.

#upstead #hailey upton #jay halstead #chicago pd #upstead fic #one chicago #hailey x jay #chicago pd fanfiction #upstead fanfic #chicago pd fic #upstead fanfiction #chicago pd fanfic

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onedemoniclilly · 2 years ago

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Inspired by prompts by corvase

(TW: mentions of Hiromi’s child abuse, canon-type injuries/violence (kinda) (no big deep details, it’s a ramble after all), Karma’s arc is also mentioned (cliff thingy) and although its not a big big spotlight on it ig its a trigger???)

They’re in high school but it's not like they (class 3E) never talk to each other - none of them would dare not to. Not after everything they went through together. But things are getting busy, university entrance exams are approaching and they’re throwing their everything into this cause the whole point of a second knife (and a third, a fourth, a fifth…) is not to use it - it’s to push forwards with your absolute best until you break every single barrier in your way and you succeed. It’s to keep going forwards, keep striving up what seems like an endless uphill path cause you are the only one who can keep his memory and life for him.

Some of them are dating, the obvious couples got together at the beginning - some splitting because although the initial spark was there, they quickly realised it was built on the painfully sharp memory of their sensei and not any substantial feelings. Kanzaki actually asked Sugino out first, but unlike Chiba and Hayami nothing tangible actually came out of it. There was definitely something between Isogai and Maehara but neither of them had officially announced it however others could speculate whatever closer relationship they had needed to be shoved between the cracks of time between work, school and family.

Nagisa and Karma… well the less said about those two the better. In the beginning, there was the whole mess with Nagisa and Kayano - as much as Kayano wanted Nagisa, no one could tell if he was too dense, not interested or busy mooning over Karma. And then there was another entire thing going on between Gakushuu and Karma. People swore up and down the walls that they were dating: “Nothing going between the two- pshh, I swear they were practically sitting on top of each other- I don’t care that they were having a go at each other you can’t deny that there’s something!” And there were always rumours going about over the friendly ‘chat’ the boys had during their Kyoto trip and if Karma was really pulling one over them or not.

One could argue that, unlike Isogai and Maehara, neither of them had a part-time job, nor the pressures of their family disapproving of any single relationship they had. They just had university to worry about and although many couples had agreed to take a break or give each other more space during this time, with the foundation Koro-Sensei had given them and their previous experiences with working to the point of exhaustion despite their results, they weren’t as stressed nor lagging behind in their work. Nagisa’s mother… well their father had caught wind of the whole situation and in a surprising ownership of backbone, had driven from Nagoya back to Tokyo. The anime can say all they want but drugging your son because he won’t listen is not alright and the unnamed father at least can recognise this is blatant child abuse (even looking past the obvious physical, emotional and psychological abuse towards Nagisa).

Hiromi dodged a mental facility but is mandated with a restraining order and obligatory therapy sessions and Nagisa lives with his father now. And although it was a result of some incredibly stressful and terrifying events, Nagisa can’t deny that he does like the freedom his father’s guilt gives him.

Does he care about his appearance? Yes, he cut his hair the moment he got out of his mother's clutches and despite the crawling feeling over his skin every time he feels the ghostly swish of airy fabric over his thighs, he does appreciate the confidence and power a pair of well-fitted jeans, blouse and wig give him when he can turn around and talk back to whatever stuck-up egoistical person decided to hit on him for the night and not worry about the learnt fear a woman has or the fact that they would recognise him next time he walks by with his school friends.

Karma’s parents just don’t turn up ever. There’s the occasional postcard and good job sent via email in response to his latest report card but those are rarer than a successful purchase during the Sunday markets or a cool day during the hot humid days in August.

But there was a wedge driven between the two. Nagisa attends the Keisetsu Daigaku Fuzoku High School whilst Karma returns to his stomping ground at Kunugigaoka High School, having fun antagonising Gakushuu and the school staff because, honestly, who didn’t know about the massive highlighter-yellow sentient octopus up the hill.

But that doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is Nagisa was walking back at 3 am to Karma’s and not his dad’s place. He had been drinking with friends cause who doesn’t try it at high school - especially with his friend group at the high school with his newfound confidence in both his own skills (academically and physically - come on they all must excel at gym class now) and his appearance. He’s dressed in a pair of black jeans, the straight leg hanging over a pair of well-worn boots and a graphic t-shirt tucked into the waistband. It would be a well-put-together look for a casual get-together with friends to destress before the final month in the run-up to their exams but a bruise was starting to bloom on his upper shoulder and the back of his jeans was sticking to the back of his calf. His dad would freak at the sight of his injuries and that’s why he was walking the slightly longer trek to Karma’s despite the fact that the only form of communication they’d had in three weeks was over text.

He finally walks up the apartment stairs, sweat beading on his forehead at the exertion and pain he’s in. He considered calling the other boy at some point but ‘why make him wake up just to help him up a couple steps’ he thinks. He stands outside the door, the white paint matching every other apartment along the block debating his options before he lets his head fall forward, a loud and long triiiiiiiiing ring out from the doorbell.

He stays like that for a moment, having managed to shift away from the doorbell and onto the spyhole by the door - unconsciously hoping his blue hair gave him away.

On Karma’s side of things, he’s awake but close to drifting off to sleep. As much as their time in 3E had given them good study habits and he was confident enough in his own abilities to pass the upcoming exams, the amount of revision material his teacher provided that he had to slog through, otherwise prompting an unnecessary video call between his parents and teachers, was a stupidly large amount. And so he was here, a Saturday night, hoping to work early into the morning before passing out for 6 hours, waking for a quick dinner and then sleeping straight to a Monday morning he knew there was a high likelihood he’d skip anyway.

Well, he had let his eyes shut for another moment, enjoying the rocking motion and sweet bliss of nothingness sleep deprivation gave him before his incredibly unexpected doorbell went off.

Now Karma could be your average Joe and go “Now who could that be?” but this is Karma we’re talking about and he goes something more along the lines of “Ughhhsahdhsaarghhhh” cause not only does he have to actually stand up but he has to walk to the door, open it and engage in some random socialisation at…. 3 am????

Now does he spot Nagisa’s strikingly bright hair colour in the spy hole? No. Cause who goes and checks that first before actually opening the door? Instead, he opens the door and gets a tumbling Nagisa tripping over the doorframe into his hallway and himself too.

At first, he’s really really confused cause why is Nagisa here, why at this time, why did he not make the excellent decision to sleep earlier and why- Why Is There Blood Soaking His Jeans.

“Why is there blood soaking your jeans?” He says, admittedly softer (no less concerned) than his inside thoughts. He doesn't receive the answer he really wants but he does get a frustrated huff against his neck (‘So fucking warm- omg Akabane Karma no you should not be thinking about this’) and a “My jeans?” from the smaller boy now in his arms.

They somehow make it to his living space, Nagisa on his sofa (wow it’s used for more than the gaming nights he has with his friends) now half jean-less and Karma inspecting the wound. They haven’t talked yet, just the sound of clothes rustling and the occasional huff of pain as the disinfectant is applied and the injury dressed filling the empty presence of the early morning silence as the sky starts to shift in preparation for the 4 am dawn.

In the end, it’s one of Karma’s intrusive thoughts that managed to make its way to his voicebox and into the living room audio. He doesn’t realise it at first, but he does find out pretty quick that it probably wasn’t something for this moment and time when Nagisa looks up with a quick “What.”

It’s cold, and exactly like the jagged edge of a serrated knife and Karma starts to backpedal (which is pretty hard when you don’t actually know what you’ve said)

“I uh- take that back? Just an intrusive thought, didn’t mean to say it out loud-” And he realises he sounds absolutely delirious but that doesn’t matter all too much to Nagisa right now and here.

“You think… You think I can’t handle myself? Karma you know-”

‘Ah fuck’ Is all Karma could think. And yet, his mouth kept on running stupid stupid words.

“No you can’t! You can’t say that not when you’re on my couch with bloody tissues over in a pile and a bruise over your arm and shoulder.”

“And what gives you the right to lecture me about my choices and my skills and my abilities” cause damn Nagisa spent so long shackled to his own worries and anxieties eating away at him over Was He Good Enough, Would She Be Mad, What Do I Do, to stand being accused of this. “What about you, and how you came in with bruises and cuts, how you got sent down the ladder because you-” and now he’s pouring salt into old wounds and attacking it with a scrubbing brush now, “-because you basically Fucking Asked For It!” And he’s sitting up, one leg still in his jeans, the other he’s trying to keep still and relaxed ‘less the dressing loses its hold and his wound reopens.

“And if I’m a hypocrite, then what about you?” The logical side of Karma’s brain starts to just Go and the more emotional side (maybe its cause wow the guy I’ve been pining over for years is injured and I don’t like that, or maybe it's just can’t he just know that I’m concerned - but there’s zero worry for his own choices Nagisa is accusing him of (he’s accepted his own consequences a long time ago)) takes over.

“You just keep coming back to these things, you’re worse- it’s been going on for Years.” The azure-headed gestures to his own injuries, “It’s not just that- it’s…”

“It’s what?”

“The cliff.”

And the two words start Karma spiralling. But he doesn’t spiral in silence, Karma just keeps talking and talking and the emotions keep building up underneath the rushing memories of falling and darkness and the crashing relief of Alive.

“No fuck you, I know about the bomb - you stupid martyr - I know you are capable; I saw you take down Takaoka fucking twice now but it doesn’t take away from the fact that you were ready to fight the Reaper just for an opening for us to attack” His voice just kept getting louder and louder- he hopes the neighbours aren’t awake.

“Why do you care about me? Why not care about yourself just a bit more?”

“Because I do” and that’s true, he just does. It’s a fact of life - he doesn't know why-

“But why?!”

“Because I love you!” Oh.

Oh.

They return to the silence they had held before sans the sounds of movement. The words registered in Nagisa’s brain before they did in Karma’s but both of them left the confession hanging in the air.

“...you should probably change into something else.” Karma got out, mind making the decision to escape this instead of confronting the words.

“I- yes. I’ll take a shower first.” Nagisa leaves the room, knowing his way around Karma’s apartment, one leg still in his jeans.

Unbeknownst to Karma, currently still standing in his living room, Nagisa practically crumbles; clinging to the wall as he makes his way towards Karma’s bathroom. His mind is reeling, thoughts going absolutely crazy as he peels off his other jeans leg and t-shirt and starts up the shower. The water jets out cold, the hum of the generator leading into a warm spray as he lathers up soap - avoiding his calf as much as he can - before rinsing off and stealing a towel from Karma’s cupboard.

He wanders into Karma’s room, holding his towel up in some form of privacy despite their many onsen trips, and raids his closet and drawers; pulling on a soft pair of joggers that he either has to roll up or risk looking like a penguin and a well-worn t-shirt. Despite the warm summer weather, the apartment is cold and looking at Karma’s study materials on his desk tells Nagisa that he wasn’t asleep when he came ringing his doorbell.

Before he steps into the living room, Karma’s words finally hit him. He stands in front of the bedroom door, contemplating if he’s willing to bypass the etiquette drilled into his very nature and simply just fall asleep in Karma’s bed and deal with everything tomorrow. But no, it’s Nagisa we’re talking about and so he steps into the living room and tentatively asks:

“Do you… do you want to talk about it? Or should I just take the sofa and we can talk in the morning?”

And Karma is just standing there, in the same position as Nagisa left him in and now he’s worried “...Karma?”

The single word tinged with enough concern worry, sadness??? To get his attention and Karma just sits on the couch and Nagisa pads over to sit next to him.

“I just- If you just want to forget everything and stay friends then we can just sleep and wake up in the morning and continue and ignore this-”

Nagisa just nudges Karma and it shuts up his ramble. The boys just sit there for a bit longer, before Nagisa continues, “I don’t know if it’s love for me. But it does feel very natural for me just to flow into… Something closer”

And it isn’t love yet for Nagisa, and maybe not for Karma either because Nagisa still carries the hurt when Karma drifted that one school year and Karma carries the guilt of being scared. And yes, they’ve talked about this but it's still a significant part of their lives. They’ll work things out, they’ve already talked about it once and now the topic is less hard to breach but right now Karma will let Nagisa have the option of the sofa and the bed and Nagisa will shoot a “Well the bed’s big enough for two enough, might as well make the most of your parent’s money” and they do sleep in the same bed, backs together but hearts going slightly faster before their breathing evens out.

They don’t sleep long enough to complete Karma’s plans to wake up just for dinner but Nagisa does start lunch which in turn wakes Karma. And they eat a simple lunch of rice, veg and meat then spend time looking over Karma’s revision sheets cause even though Nagisa plans to go into education in university, he’ll never turn down free knowledge cause that’s not what Koro-Sensei would have done nor wanted.

And maybe Karma struggles writing a text a few weeks later with the simple “Cafe for Lunch - Sun?” On a Saturday evening but Nagisa beats him to it with a “Sunday - Lunch/dinner???” And it's a horrid affair cause both of them are menaces to society when paired together but they leave the premise laughing and go back to Karma’s for dinner and when Nagisa leaves to head back home Karma leans against the doorway and asks “After exams, wanna go camping?”

And Nagisa knows deep down that this will all work out.

2023/10/27

#ansatsu kyoushitsu #assassination classroom #akabane karma #shioita nagisa #Karma x Nagisa #drabble #prompt #romance #odl writes #tenses? whats that???#im meant to be writing anything else but this #my october pieces are Not Done and i did this in less than 3 hours please save me #i have stories to write and this is where my muse went #all i did was browse pinterest for fit ideas for tmmrw and this happen #Not me making dialogue very very vague cause i like cannot think of anything in character for either of them to say #Did i mean to make it this long? No.#do i regret it? My sleep schedule does and also my plans to go out tonight does (plus flu jab) but I don’t :)#I dont want to write dialogue i’m sick and tired of it but thats like the whole point of this piece whyyyyyyy #writblr #writing on tumblr

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louisupdates · 2 years ago

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Louis’ quotes from The Times article: Louis Tomlinson: ‘When One Direction split I was mortified and bitter. It felt like another loss’

The singer on life after the boy band, grieving his mother and sister, and why he would ‘be up for’ a reunion, as he releases a film (24.2.23)

I’ve always had a problem with ‘ego’, and I’ve always been worried about being one of those people in the public eye who just loses all sense of reality, and becomes an arsehole. I’m from Doncaster.

If someone does come up after an hour to ask for a selfie, I won’t say no and I won’t run away, especially if I’m three pints deep!

With this job, there’s so much room for overthinking, you know? Someone from the record label will tell you they like your stuff, but you find yourself thinking: yeah, but do they? It’s the fans that help you really believe in yourself.

I do miss the boys, and I do definitely miss being one of the five, but I like doing my own thing too. It was time.

This is a confidence game for anyone, and there’s been plenty of moments of vulnerability throughout the entire process.

Only Harry knows what he means there. It’s hard to speculate. But we all came from relatively humble beginnings, and now we are where we are.

Some of the things that have happened recently have been quite drastic, yeah, but then so much in my life seems to have been pretty extreme, one way or the other. There’ve been challenging times, definitely. It’s funny, but I couldn’t even tell you how many years ago my mum passed, I just blank it out. But for the first 18 months, I’d take any form of bad luck personally. I’d feel every tiny thing. But now I genuinely feel I’ve come out the other side. I feel more empathy for everything and everyone these days.

It was mostly amicable. Simon always had my best interests at heart, and I liked him. He had his faults of course, like all of us, but it was always inevitable I’d have to go off and do my own thing.

[Being able to write with artists rather than songwriters] was a big difference, huge. These are people who live and breathe music. It’s the first time I felt really comfortable doing my own stuff, you know?

When I was in the band, working with professional songwriters whose entire aim was to write the hit single, they’d tell me that singing in my natural accent wasn’t commercial. Sorry, but what a shit idea. Who wants to sound like everybody else? I dumbed down a little bit in the band, because you do, but I’ve learnt who I am now.

Well, being a role model for one. I never wanted that. I always had to worry whether it was OK if, say, I was seen here or if I could get away with smoking a joint there, before concluding: hmm, probably not. But I never wanted to be the perfect pop star, especially in the climate of Instagram. I don’t want to put an artificial world out there. I think it’s important that people see your scars, your flaws.

When One Direction split up, I was mortified, I was absolutely gutted. I was a bit bitter, I suppose, because it just felt like another loss to me. But I’ve a better understanding of things now, and there’s not as much anger. It is what it is. Getting back together at some point is hard to imagine right now, but I’d be surprised if we lived out our lives and didn’t have a moment where we had a reunion, or whatever you want to call it. I’d be up for that.

Well, it’s not a surprise is it? We were always aware that Harry fit that mould, and it’s been an amazing thing to watch. Envy? At the start maybe, when I was trying to find my feet, but it’s never healthy to cross-reference your own success with others, is it? These days I’m learning to elevate myself in those moments when I have to. I didn’t know how to do that before, but now? Now I know I fucking can.

#the times #louis tomlinson #aotv promo #all of those voices #24 february 2023

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real-life-senshi · 2 years ago

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This is @the Keiko haters out there.

(And yes I am venting coz this needs to be said)

I went and rushed to get the old clip of Keiko and Kotono in the variety show subtitled because I learnt Keiko was receiving some hate for landing the Sailor Cosmos role, and I think that is absolutely stupid and trash especially when no one has actually seen her performance yet because THE FILM HASN'T even been released! (NO, one line from a trailer does NOT count.)

While Keiko is primarily a TV show and movie actress, this is not her first rodeo voice acting in animation films.There was also The Magic Tree House (2012) and Anpanman: Dororin and the Transforming Carnival (2022).

Just because someone wanted another VA, possibly a more recognized or acclaimed VA to voice Sailor Cosmos doesn’t give them the right to bash the actual voice cast chosen by the producers.

Besides, people saying Keiko took the role from Kotono is such bullshit??!!!! Kotono is already voicing Usagi and Chibi Chibi, like that’s already such a big part of the film? Kotono is amazing, but at some point there is only so much on screen chemistry that can be achieved doing lines against a different variation of your own voice?!!!!!

The fact that Kotono took the extra step and said Keiko is “brave” and “thoughtful” on Twitter? You bet they all monitor the public’s reaction and Kotono is making a stance to show her support by recognizing the work Keiko has put in voicing Cosmos.

Kotono and Keiko have so much respect for each other and have a good, positive relationship! It’s very possible Kotono had a hand in Keiko landing the voice acting offer. (No, I’m speculating, there’s no source, but often big time cast members are asked for their opinion before production crew sends out offers, like RDJ had a hand in Tom Holland getting Spider-man.)

Just, fucking grow up people. Keiko shouldn’t have to apologize for a job offer she received that she’s excited and was already nervous for. Girl has so much love and respect for the Sailor Moon franchise she went and asked her live action Senshi team for thoughts when she received the offer because she wasn’t sure she should take it. She was practically gushing talking about the opportunity, about Kotono and about the live action in the stage greet event Q&A!!!!

I get being critical of her performance if she didn’t necessarily meet your expectation, but give her a chance to prove herself!

She was phenomenal and, dare I say, the best part in the live-action. She’d definitely have given 120% in her voice work, that I have no doubt!

#fucking grow up people #khmyh rants #sailor moon cosmos #the video was my positive approach to this stupid unnecessary drama #this post is definitely my negative response becoz I’m pissed

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unproblematicme · 2 years ago

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What humans do

Earth turns in space. So pretty. Blue and green and brown. Looking closer, there is yellow and red and purple and pink and… Oh, the humans. So lovable, so dangerous, always in motion, even when they rest.

“Muriel?”

“Huh?” Wide-eyed, Muriel turns her head to the owner of the voice. “Oh! Amariel! Hello!”

Awkwardly, she lifts her hand in greeting. Amariel furrows his brows and tilts his head.

“Is everything alright with your corporation?”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

“I called you five times,” Amariel says. “Maybe the…um… ears is it, right? are broken?”

“Oh no, they’re fine.” Muriel smiles and dismisses the concern with a wave.

“Then why didn’t you hear me?”

Muriel grins and stands up straight. Proudly, she says, “I was,” dramatic pause, “deep in thought.”

The raised brow in Amariel’s face tells her that he isn’t really impressed. So Muriel shrinks a little and explains quietly, “It’s what humans do. Sometimes. They focus on their inner self, their thoughts and emotions fully. It can block out external sensations for a while.” “Sounds dangerous.” Amariel says. “Humans. Silly. Some habits you shouldn’t adopt.”

Muriel doesn’t answer. She likes inwardness a lot. Not that she doesn’t like outwardness. Especially on Earth. But she enjoys being by herself, inside her own mind, sorting and reflecting impressions and experiences. But Amariel does not appear to want to hear about it.

“What did you need?” Muriel asks to change the topic.

“I wanted to hear if you have news,” Amariel says. “I heard you already reported to the Archangels.”

“I did.” Muriel nods. “No news on Gabriel.”

“Ah.” Amariel doesn’t seem to be too interested in this and instead wants to know, “And the rogue angel?”

“Aziraphale?” “Yes, how was he?”

“Um, he… he was friendly?”

“Hmhm, maybe a trick he learnt from his demon friend?” Amariel speculates. “To lull you in and then kill you?”

“Probably not.” “What makes you so sure?”

“Ah, well, mainly that he didn’t kill me.” “Oh, that. Yes.” Amariel sounds almost disappointed. After a while, he ponders, “I wonder what those two are planning. I mean. There must be something big to gain for an angel and demon to join forces.”

“I think they don’t plan anything.” Muriel feels a strange surge of protectiveness for Aziraphale and even for Crowley. “They just want to live on Earth.”

“But why?”

“They seem to like it better than here and well,” Muriel points downwards, “there.”

Amariel laughs. It sounds almost cruel to Muriel. But that can’t be. Angels aren’t cruel.

“I believe easily that the demon doesn’t like Hell,” he says cooly. “But an angel preferring Earth? Choosing that… dirty rock over Heaven? There must be something seriously wrong with him. Or he and that demon are planning something. Why else would they still work together?”

“Um… I think they’re not working together. Not anymore.”

Frowning, Amariel studies Muriel. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I think they… enjoy each other’s company?”

"Why?"

"Love."

"Love? Aziraphale would waste God's love on a demon?"

"No not... like God. Like... like humans."

Still, Amariel’s expression does not suggest understanding. Muriel swallows. Finally, she leans closer to Amariel and casts him a conspiratorial look.

“I think,” she whispers, “they might be in love.”

A look of utter disgust spreads on Amariel’s face.

“In love?” he spats. “Aziraphale loves a demon like a... a mate? That's so... human. And... gross. That’s unforgivable.”

Muriel fights down the unangelic feeling of anger that rises in her chest.

“SHE doesn’t seem to think so,” she tells Amariel. “Otherwise, SHE wouldn’t have prevented the execution, would SHE?”

Muriel herself is not convinced of her own words. Most angels believe that only God HERSELF would be able to protect an angel from Hellfire. And while Muriel is not so sure, Amariel apparently belongs to most angels here. Because he knits his brows together, visibly struggling to find an explanation.

“Ah, well,” he says after a while. “Maybe SHE stopped the execution because SHE is planning on a much more severe punishment for the traitor. Because apparently treason is not his only crime.”

With that, he excuses himself. Sighing, Muriel watches him disappear around a corner. Left to her own devices, Muriel turns her gaze to Earth again and lets the view renew the smile on her face. Amariel’s words don’t make her worried for Aziraphale or Crowley’s safety.

Because no matter how hard she tries, she cannot bring herself to think of love as something punishable.

#my writing #good omens #muriel

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wiredlyrelatable · 8 months ago

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ADJUSTMENTS...

Dude I just don't get it why people say adjustments and sacrifice are needed in life, speculation in relationships and the sadest part is, this is always told to women.

From childhood there is adjustment in our lives, in home, in school, in tuition, in food, in games, in dreams...etc etc so much just because we have just started learning to live life but why should we adjust and crush our opinions, need, wants, life, space, money...after growing up aswell? With materialistic things it feels okay as it's our fault that we are not earning so much that we can afford fulfilling our need and wants so we should work hard and smart for it.

When few of us adjust because of family, others because of love or friends, that feels sad as one day when that person for whom you have adjusted so much in life hurts you badly, everything you have suppressed about adjustments for them comes out, we will feel so sad for ourselves and blame our destiny or karma but we have to realise that we have chosen to adjust for that person.

I was in the similar phase. Till I was in 12th class I was the most submissive person on this planet. I used to love myself but used to adjust for others somuch that I used to feel this is how everyone should live, specially after seeing my mom in home I was sure that I have to live like this for life, first half listening to my parents and second half listening to my husband. But later I started understanding that if you don't take decisions for yourself or point out people's mistakes when they are forcing some decision on you or have your own opinion or a stand or a take in life, in general about your likes and dislikes the people who are in your life will do that for you which is not right at all.

Let whatever type of people be in your life, you are supposed to know yourself first so that you don't and people don't get a slightest chance to overpower you and ask you to adjust according to them.

People will say you have got attitude or you are stubborn but why should you adjust if you are in a situation where you can afford that life or those relationships that don't supress you. We are supposed to first know ourselves, know the people around us, understand their behavior towards you, in general and then decide whether you want it or not because if you don't want it, it will feel like an adjustment you are doing on yourself and justifying that by giving reasons to satisfy yourself, your heart which is not right.

I have learnt this the hard way because I am an introvert who can't say no to people which is not right. From my college days I have changed and have started spending time with myself and understanding that there is no need to adjust as the life is yours. Just because your parents have given birth to you, for whatever reason, that doesn't give them the right to rule and make you live your life according to them.

#know yourself

#know what you are adjusting for and work on it!

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ursbearhug · 2 years ago

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Somebody pissed me off so I'm gonna be annoying on the Internet. You're welcome.

Imma be ranting, so feel free to continue scrolling or whatever.

"What gay representation do you want?". Bitch, cool one.

I have a lot of expectations for my gay representation because the one I'm being subjected to is so whatever that I need to put the bar higher.

Lately, I've seen *a lot* of memes of "Gen Z has Heartstopper and we had [insert something]" and they both vex me and perplex me.

I will be honest here; I used to love Heartstopper at some point. It was nicely drawn and it was warm and cuddly. But then I lost interest. For one, Charlie is just boring character and I do not care for him. What bugs me about some media I had the opportunity to reflect upon lately is; characters are just flat. It's like character customisation, pick one (1) hobby, one (1) good characteristic, one (1) flaw and voilà. At some point I just swapped Charlie with a plank of wood tied to a body pillow and there was no goddamn difference. And it was such a blantant wish fulfillment of dating the 'golden retriever' boy in highschool(?). By the time I arrived at Charlie dealing with his eating disorders I just completely lost interest in the comic all together because I didn't care. I watched the show and it just reignited issues I had with it, compounded by the character of Tao (like seriously kill this guy). I *hate* the fact, that the entirety of first season is about people speculating about Nick's sexuality. Like fuuuuuuuuuck ooooooooooff. Mind your goddamn fucking business. Also fuck Tao. Like, nothing more infuriating than striaght bitch sliding into everyone else's business. Also something show didn't mention is that, it's Tao's fault that school learnt of Charlie's sexuality; because bitch cannot keep his mouth shut and somebody overheard him (which, funnily enough, is the exact same thing that happened to me, except, I was significantly younger than Charlie). There was so much pressure on a guy to label himself. And you know what? I would like this story more if Nick said he's straight and still want them to date. Would people make fun of it? Of course. Would I care? Not a single bit. I'd rather have Nick a straight guy hooking up with gays via grindr than having 20 episodes of people walking into his life, uninvited, in their dirty ass shoes. My further lost of interests happened when Nick's actor has been taking shit from people on the Internet. I was just done with young queer community.

Heartstopper, itself, is not horrible. Like, that's nice that young, discovering world, queers have access to something fuzzy and bengin. The thing that makes me somehow... Icked? Is that there is a distinction to be made between homosexual and homoromantic. Or in general.

Like, I know that for a large group of folk, this is very synonymous. But to me, it feels only natural and normal, that media targeted and younger audiences will not go into sex area. Mostly because... Why would you want to know what sex live of 16year olds looks like? It's fine to have it in the subtext or have it told not shown. Teenagers discover their sex lives in their own weird way. And I would know. I was one.

But queer media should target more than just a subset of the whole community that happens to be age 18(?) and lower. I want to watch a film where two bears fuck the shit out of each other before they go to work, spend day sexting each other and then have banter over who's turn it is to cook dinner and plan homicide because the other half didn't wash dishes. Or have bi girl living it up in french clubs, having safe, consensual, fun and mutually gratifying sex with 12 people before catching a plane to other part of the world. Or showing experiences of old queer folk. There is so much more to show *and* tell than just two teenage boys making big eyes at each other for 20 episodes and then sharing a kiss in the rain.

And saying this as a very "fake" ace guy; media made for adults should explicitly show adult content. Having some sexual fun is something people do. And sex isn't (or isn't always, I should say) some astral projecting, earthshattering and mindblowing experience. Sex can be whatever one and their partners want to be. Therefore, it can be non at all too.

Queer folk are plentiful and weird in their own way. People are not happy when their intelligence or life experiences are being limited to one, cookie cutter, out-of-the-community publicially acceptable potrayal. Nobody wants to see two underaged boys fuck. Some, wants to see something more akin to what their life is and not some high life Kate Perry teenage dream esque shit.

Anyway, I've lost my ace privileges and I'm so fake. Hide your men, boys girls and other gluten creatures, I cannot be trusted and I apparently cannot Google pornhub - since I demand public and cinematic depravity of gay men and women having sex on screen. Burn me at the stake, from me in the ditch, send nudes xoxo.

#percy does things #will delete later

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goodolme · 2 years ago

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♡ i see (you) the light / prologue ♡

Summary: A tale in which two teenagers, a hermit alchemist afisionate and a petty thief, embark on an adventure to see some mysterious floating lights. Along their trip they discover secrets as well as love.

Pairing: Varian x Reader

Pronouns: She/ her.

Warnings: None really.

Notes: So uhhh long time no see. I swear I'll be back to the Rottmnt soon, just had this idea and had to write it.

Is this good? Idk I just finished writing it. You decice. It's probably not though.

This story will take parts and pieces of the series and movie but not all of them just keep in mind that not everything will be exactly the same. Mainly because it's a, well, au.

Masterlist

This story begins with a kingdom. Even though this one was so far away that one may claim it was purposefully cut off from the rest of the world, everyone still recognized it. Its name? The Dark Kingdom.

Now, this kingdom was well-known—or infamous, depending on whom you asked—for a variety of things, one of which was referred to as the Moon Stone.

Many people debated on the origin of such an artifact. Ranging from it being a gift from the Gods to protect their people, to it simply being children's fairytales or even a made up story so townsfolk had yet another reason to party and behave recklessly.

However, the narrative that was widely accepted or at least appeared to be well known was as follows:

‘’Once upon a time a single drop of moonlight fell from the heavens; and from that small drop grew a magic blue stone. It had the ability to destroy everything that touched it.

After centuries had passed a small village grew around it. That little community quickly turned into a whole kingdom. The people were intrigued by this strange small rock, they found it captivating, alluring even, but they knew of its danger and so it was transported to one of the chambers in the king's castle; where no one would be able to reach the moon stone.

The stone was heavily guarded from generation to generation until King Edmund, commonly also known as 'The one who lost his mind' was driven insane by the curiosity he felt toward the peculiar object, driving him to the point of attempting to touch it despite the warnings coming from his counsel.’’

Up to this day nobody knows what happened to the moon stone or if it had any kind of impact on anyone. Could they have gone insane like their king? Were there any side effects? Are they even alive?

All they knew was that once a year, speculated in being the same day the moon stone was destroyed -as assumed by the citizens- they had a ceremony where they would remember what essentially created the place they live now.

What the people from the Dark Kingdom didn't know was that some of the rumors were correct. Unfortunately the accident had unintended consequences and one of the councilmen, known as Quirin unknowingly passed the powers from the moon stone to his child.

He learnt about the when the child, only a few months old, would have outbursts and some black sharp looking rocks would come out of the ground.

It got harder to control when his wife, Ulla, passed away while on one of her excursions to try figuring out what was happening.

Quirin took his son to the king. Naturally he was furious with him for everything bad that had happened in his life during the last twelve months.

They agreed that the youngster would need to be locked up in a secure location since they anticipated that the situation would start to get intolerable unless under strict control.

In order to avoid being discovered, Quirin relocated with his infant son to a remote tower that was tucked away in the heart of the woods.

Oh, what was the name of the child? Varian.

#tts x reader #tts varian #tts au #varian x reader #tangled x reader

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lairofdragonagelore · 2 years ago

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Tevinter Nights: The Horror of Hormak

Personal Speculation

All the non-speculative content was delivered in this [post] which only explains what the book has to offer with some screenshoots of the pages as a proof.

The chambers in this place have a constant theme: shifting horns of a halla. The change is not sudden but progressive, as the repetition of the images suggests. The columns also speak of progressive shifting, a constant iteration of the same illustration producing small changes on the picture while humanoid and monster begin to change one another.

Although there are “monsters” described all along those pages, the repetitive presence of the halla is undeniable, even in the carving of the columns. This temple of shifting and mutation seems to highlight the horns of the halla, and so far, the only Evanuris we were informed as related to this animal is the mother of Hallas: Ghilan'nain. In the Temple of Mythal, where the information is more accurate only because it belonged to the time these events happened, we find out her codex explaining that she is related to the creation of giants, hallas, and other monsters. This ability is what allowed Ghilan'nain to become an Evanuris, otherwise, she would have been another one of “the people” [ a standard elf=servant?].

In this book, there are some descriptions that brought to my mind objects and elements we saw in the games:

The third band focuses on hallas, and the shape described in them reminds me of the mural paintings we find in DAI:

the hallas are wrongly depicted: they have too many horns, they look more rounded, almost insectoid-like.

[Also include the first image of this post: the winged halla]

The structure of the last chamber, where we find the pool of grey viscous fluid [which smells like sea water] and a massive crystal of lyrium over it, reminded me immediately to Amgarrak.

In Amgarrak we learnt that a Tevinter Mage wanted to recreate a Golem made of flesh, using a massive artefact to trap “fade spirits” into the flesh golem. The process to craft these golems was not simple since, apparently, it required of Lyrium wells filled with raw lyrium over which a massive structure with Lyrium veins hovered. These artefacts powered up the whole Thaig to produce shifts in the planes.

If DAO content can still be held and compared to DAI content, I would imagine this chamber described in the book was the original artefact that "inspired" the Tevinter Mage [I’m not saying they are the same, but the fact that the brine pool fuse creatures, and in Amgarrak the spirits were forced on fused corpses, seems to share a link in the concept of fusing bodies in different states]. Both chambers seem to do something similar: fusion of spirits/bodies with others.

In Amgarrak the artefact catches spirits from the Fade and forces them into golems of fused corpses. In the artefact of Tevinter Nights it looks like it fuses living bodies AND souls. This grey pool feels like a corrupted, abandoned artefact that stopped doing its original purpose. If we follow what we learnt in the previous chamber narrated in the book, about shifting and progressive change, this pool, which I suppose used to produce that progressive shift between people and monsters, seems to be broken. It is progressive with humanoids, as Jovis says, while with darkspawn the procedure is instantaneous. Maybe the lack of soul has to do something in this.

This also brings to my mind all what we learnt in the Lost Temple of Dirthamen: Dirthamen priests and disciples had a deep knowledge of bounding souls and bodies, to the point I suspect that Dirthamen and Falon’Din had this kind of relationship, hence you can never differentiate one from the other. It’s not by chance that in the Lost Temple of Dirthamen we have no mosaic of Dirthamen, several ones of Falon’Din and one in red of Ghilan’nain. The link could potentially be the “secret of bounding spirits to flesh” [in the same fashion that the disciples ended up doing with the High Priest in this place. For more details, read the post about the Lost Temple of Dirthamen]

It’s worth noting that in the chamber of the book, the lyrium crystal glows in green-yellow-ish colours, which seems to be the usual colour of Fade-related stuff in DAI [rifts, rift magic, veilfire, possession of spirits like in Hakkon’s case].

When it comes to the interpretation of the mural with the bands, I have two possibilities:

1) The first chamber speaks of Evanuris with their slaves cowering in terror, inserting disease in them via magical procedures, and then sending them to the mountains. A simple reading of this means that the Evanuris’ slaves lived in terror, knowing the danger of being subjects of experiments (infected) by the mages and sent to the mountains. Which is strange, purposeless even, since it is in these mountains where the transformation happens. The original disease forced via magic is a previous condition for a better result of the final transformation later? Impossible to say.

2) The other interpretation I can do is in a reverse direction, from the lower band to the top: kidnapped elves, inside aravel-prisons, are sent to the mountains where they are subjected to a procedure that turns them into chimeras. The process is slow and controlled. This disease, inserted by the mages in a way or another, can be contained by the evanuris with the use of Vallaslin [which is a design made of blood and probably, originally related to blood magic]. In this way, the Evanuris had a total control on the elves wearing a Vallaslin, since without it, the transformation continues. This gave them the power to amass countless servants who lived in terror for what they had inside, only controlled by the whims of their masters.

I have [speculative] reasons to think that part of this procedure is related to the Vallaslin, simply because the paintings in DAI. We have two in particular that show the shifted/weird halla, carrying a red colour on it. The elves in white have clear signs of vallaslin on their faces.

Similar row of white-blank elves can be seen in another drawing, walking like zombies, faceless and chest erased, as if they have no mind nor heart, and a red swirly mark falls over their shoulders. As usual, this red has swirls, making it related to lyrium. All this under the Golden Ring we mostly see with the elven statue of the owl.

Another interesting detail we can take from this book is that it seems that the aravels, an iconic Dalish element, was originally to be a means for transportation of slaves. It seems very Dalish to rebuild their culture by using yet another slave element: vallaslin that determined who were their owner, aravels that were prison-ships, and hallas [Ghilan’nain’s favoured animal] “leading the path” to their destiny.

When we go to the next chamber, and we see chimerical darkspawn, plus the mosaic previously depicting unknown flowers and animals, I think this may connect with The Descent, in the codex of Ailsa’s diary, a grey warden who lives her last days of The Calling. She says the following things:

I cut through the darkspawn horde, expecting to find only more of them the deeper I traveled. But nothing has matched my expectations. "Deep Roads" brought to mind darkspawn, dwarven ruins, caverns, and death—but there's an entire underground world here. Just today, I came across plants with lyrium-streaked veins. I took a bath in a lake that held crisp, fresh water and cautious animals, large and small, that I'd never seen before. I can't be the first Warden to witness such wonders.

But then I stumbled across something horrible. I smelled it before I saw it: bodies. Hurlocks, genlocks, creatures I didn't recognize—hundreds of them, mutilated, tortured, and thrown into pits.

She points out beautiful flowers and unknown animals, which is what the Hormak’s engraving walls show. The other point is that Ailsa seems to see a pit of “failed experiments”. It’s not said explicitly, but both places state about creatures that are unrecognisable for Wardens [who have seen a lot in their lives and specially in the Deep Road]. I think it seems worthy to keep this detail in mind.

Jovis is presented as something not quite similar to a Harvester, but clearly a grotesque fusion with an insect. The Harvester in DAO and DA2 was the fusion of a spirit or a living creature with corpses; here, it’s the fusion of living creatures with different spirits, fighting for the control of their common body.

There is also something very disturbing that Jovis says: “She cannot have it. Not again.” The Again implies that she had it before. And it’s a she. With all the info we had, the straightforward conclusion seems to be the priest who used this pool to create chimeras. Ghilan'nain’s?

If you read the art of the three bands from the bottom to the top [a direction more related to hierarchy], one can interpret that twisted hallas guided prison-ships elves into places like this one we are in. Probably these twelve temples looked like heaven: temples of elven design that we have seen as beautiful, pristine even [as the book remarks], filled with beauty, flowers and strange animals. These places were beautiful for the Evanuris, not for the slaves. The Evanuris forced disease into their slaves, using animals, causing small shifts in them until the change make them into monsters. Only then, the Evanuris felt content with the result. This was the foundation of the power of the evanuris, who controlled the masses of elves out of terror. Or this could have been how they developed armies.

We also know that back then the Evanuris were at war, first with the Titans, and later with themselves. This fusing process seems to be an interesting one for creating perfect armies, as the Warden Ramesh points out in the book.

As a last detail, specially related to the “shifting”, the DAI paintings may display something of the like in their mysterious paintings: We see an elf with marks on his face that are not clear if they are Vallaslin or style lines to mark shadows. In any case, both elves always display patterns on their upper body.

The pattern in both elves is the same with only a change in the colour. The warrior one has white legs, no marks on them. The second one shows a darkening of his colours and patterns, and his legs follow the colours and patterns we see later in the lizard figure and in the halla. At the background of the second elf we see in white the design of the Golden Ring that the owl statue always holds in its talons.

[Index page of Dragon Age Lore ]

#High speculation #the horror of hormak #hormak #halla

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dboliklover · 4 years ago

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Breathless Whispers - Shu

My new series. Will take a while to complete (don’t mind the fact I am STILL working on the Easter Smut series). It’s based off an ask I got and is very sinful and I implore everyone who is triggered by the following to NOT INTERACT WITH THIS SERIES. The tags will vary from each entry but “Breathless Whispers” is a SAKAMAKI BROTHERS X STEPMOTHER! READER Smut series. As such Cheating/Adultery and pseudo-incest/stepcest are always going to be included in the chapters.

Tags for this chapter: Stepcest/pseudo-incest, cheating, NTR (Netorare) ((Karlheinz gets cucked)), dub-con (the reader believes she has feelings for Shu), dubiously-consensual implied impregnation, mentions of pregnancy, blood, and my out-of-practice smut writing skills that border on cringe, Happy sex (?)

This is as vanilla as it’s gonna get for this series, methinks. Next chapter it’s Reiji’s turn. ;) Happy sinning ❤

WORD COUNT: 5.8K (11 pages)

___

In his life, Shu learnt to try to ignore meaningless things around him and to feel as precious little as possible - he didn’t need to feel, it added no enhancement to his life. To love was to have weakness and those he loved and cared for often ended tragically.

It was only natural that he chose to stick to himself and become a solitary creature after all that he’s been through, was it not? Solitude meant safety. Slowly but surely Shu cut as many emotions away with a metaphorical knife as he could, opting instead to be careless regarding all matters. He didn’t need anyone else, just himself. Only himself.

But there was one emotion that refused to leave, one emotion he would never allow the chance to withdraw from his heart - hatred. Pure, unadulterated loathing towards the man who caused his, his brothers’ and their mothers’ tragedies - Karlheinz. The hatred he felt was coated by a layer of would-be indifference - he knew better than to challenge the man, at least for the meanwhile - memories from the North Pole haunted him still. His father was a cruel, demanding man and Shu felt abhorrence, perhaps it did not reach the hatred felt by some other brothers but it was there and undying.

Karlheinz’s largest sin of all was the pain he caused his mother - the burdens he put onto him were a close second, however. But Beatrix’s suffering still wounded Shu to think about even after so many years had passed. The guilt instilled in him from that time flowed through his veins, unrelenting. His mother had her streaks of emotionally tormenting him but after all she merely wanted to prepare him for a difficult life ahead and Shu missed her presence as demanding as it was. And that was why when his father chose to re-marry yet again, Shu felt nothing but slight pity for the bride but regardless, he felt towards her as he did with most things; wholly indifferent. That was, of course, until he got to know the woman - he recalled the wedding day, it was a boring event and the fact his appearance had to be publicly seen bothered him for he’d much rather be doing anything but - still, he did as told and attended, albeit with minimal effort.

You made for a blushing bride, he couldn’t deny that. Glamorous appearance was hardly something he heeded though, and his father was known for choosing beautiful women as his wives - you knew nothing of the terrible fate that was bound to befall you in the coming months or years. At least all the other wives were long dead, namely Cordelia (whose torments only fed into the neglect his father served his mother, furthering her agonies) so you’d have no other competitors for Karlheinz’s horrid affections. He felt nothing for you, then. But unbeknownst to him, that detachment would not last forever and soon thereafter Karlheinz sent his bride away to live with his sons: what drove his father to such a foolish decision baffled Shu and he felt it somewhat of a ploy, another experiment to conduct. Maybe it was, but then again it only wasted time and energy to speculate on what went through Karlheinz’s mind. But you were their new stepmother, not one of their sacrificial brides; that was made clear, if unspoken. You were not their shared property but the property of the vampire king and it was to be respected, even if you had a puppet authority or no true power over them.

He avoided you at first, in his mind getting to know anyone was worthless; and yet you persisted under the guise of ‘getting to know’ him and the others, wanting a relationship with your new stepsons. None of them really wanted a relationship with you, except for perhaps Reiji who hoped that you’d speak well of him to his father, ever-the-suckup.

You were a vampire of course, although it was surprising to learn that you were not a pureblood as they were. Karlheinz always made his decisions for a reason and he knew the reason for marrying you wasn’t love: therefore must’ve been something else entirely.

Karlheinz was incapable of love.

Gradually he found himself enjoying your attempted affections and voice - you figured out his disposition and chose to talk to him without expecting anything more than grunts and hums in return, knowing he preferred to listen to his music. Even he wasn’t sure at what point in your relationship he started to favour the sound of your melodious voice to his earphones, but it happened and he soon found himself turning down the volume as you spoke about your day if only to listen to your sweet voice far more vividly. He started to seek you out, something...unusual growing in his soul at the sight of you - he began appearing in places you were around the mansion, silently guarding you against the likes of the others (such as Laito). He liked being around you - a feeling he’d lost long ago ever since the “death” of Edgar - true companionship. But it couldn’t last perpetually, as nothing ever could, and those amicable feelings grew until they bloomed into something far darker than protectiveness towards his new stepmother and prospective friend - his heart yearned for you in the most unusual ways. It was troublesome for an overwhelming variety of reasons, primarily because he couldn’t have you. His romantic intentions soon turned to a subtle obsession. He needed to be close to you, always there - watching.

You’d always smile and greet him pleasantly, innocently - how on earth you could be so innocent after centuries’ worth of living on this earth, much less so after marrying Karlheinz, he had no clue. Your naivety and sweet nature brought him to you, made him fall into insanity because of you. It wasn’t instantaneous, things rarely were. Months went by but eventually he could no longer cope, his dreams were haunted by your form and always the exact same: you laid nude, breasts perfect and demure for him to corrupt, moaning out his name like the most delightful song from an ephemeral musical meant only for him. But when he awoke he was alone.

You tempted him without even knowing it but it was only a matter of time before it would come back to haunt you, he couldn’t be expected to have control over his instincts and needs forever and the time came when he finally snapped.

Stepmother or not, he was going to have you. In a way, it served as the most exquisite form of perceived vengeance towards that man - to steal his wife. He was hesitant about how to approach his desire to seduce you, such things were really more of Laito’s expertise, but he’d be damned if he failed to achieve his goals. You were too good for Karlheinz - a kindly thing to the point of intoxication and frustration, too pure for a vampire. He wanted to be the one to fully spoil your spirit, he wouldn’t permit his father to shatter your psyche as he did with all his previous wives. Shu was going to protect you, but in order to do that he first had to take you; claim you for himself. And that’s when he came across the most intriguing sight: your hushed moans of pleasure as your [slender/chubby/elegant] fingers stroked your glistening cunt in your private chambers - the same chambers which were supposed to be blessed in sacred matrimony if only his father hadn’t left you here all alone at the mercy of his ravenous sons. He must’ve assumed such a thing would happen sooner or later, hadn’t he? If not, then...well, Shu couldn’t help but think it his father’s loss from his own folly. “Shu.” Your angelic voice uttered his name - not his father’s, not your husband’s - but his. In your moment of unholy ecstasy, it was him on your mind; thoughts of him that edged you to your bliss. His obsessive passions were returned to him in kind, it seemed, and he couldn’t be more glad.

“Shu?” You questioned the following evening at dusk, that blossom-pink blush dusting your cheeks like an undead Aphrodite, tempting him further into his hidden lustful hunger, “Is...is everything okay? You’ve been staring at me all evening and I just wanted to ask if there’s something wrong-” He sighed, eyes half-lidded as if tired but it was his internal frustration revealed. “There is.” “Oh?” You pouted and fuck, he wanted to bruise your plump lips right there and then until they held his mark. “You really are more trouble than you’re worth,” It was a lie, of course, but he was a guarded man and his words reflected that. “Shu…? What do you mean?” The sadistic aspect of him was fuelled by the subtle distress in your eyes, however, you tried to remain calm, he’d said harsher things and you knew he scarcely ever meant them but something...something seemed so offbeat tonight. No, not just tonight - as of recently, but you couldn’t place a finger on the exact date when things began to change between you.

Your hands were down, pressed together as your thumbs nervously rubbed the other. You just wanted answers. “Heh,” He smirked, “You have no idea how alluring you are, do you?” His tired eyes stared earnestly into your soul and you felt stripped of your integrity. An innocent blush flooded your visage with lecherous embarrassment at such a sensual suggestion, sputtering out various syllables as you rushed to find your footing and speak out in protest of such an inappropriate topic between mother and son - that was what you were, related or not...you were his mother, even if merely by marriage. Guilt clogged your throat up as you thought of your own lust for your stepson, he was only slightly younger than you were and handsome beyond compare (as much as you loathed to admit it, your carnal self preferred Shu’s indescribable silent grace and steely blue eyes to the snowy tresses of his father) and disgust for yourself stung you deeper than a knife dipped in holy water - had he...witnessed your acts of depravity in your chambers? Did he know? “S-Shu, I...I don’t know what you mean,” You were drowning, unable to form proper words, “Don’t.” He cut you off before you could deny what you both knew at that moment. You weren’t as innocent and proper as you made yourself out to be. As you wished to be. No, you were a creature of tainted prurience and Shu was more than happy to play into your fantasies. You paled and nodded, if you were human your heart would’ve surely been palpitating by now. Fear wholly consumed you - would he be disgusted by you - no, he would’ve made that clear by now. Shu hid his thoughts and feelings from others but if he’d felt abhorrent disgust he wouldn’t have chosen to speak to you or indeed even be around you, you trusted that truth if nothing else. But then there was only one explanation for his demeanour, one that made you clench your thighs tight as you stood before him, a woman. He stood from his seat, no longer laying on the windowsill. “You’ve been a terrible wife,” Tears of crimson welled in your eyes while your knees felt weak but you nodded, ashamed. “Yes.” “And a filthy mother,” His harsh breath on your ear and neck made you whimper, “Y...yes,” You stuttered out with another whimpering moan, “Shu please don’t toy with me, I’m sorry I-” Without another sound escaping your painted lips you felt the amorous pressure of your stepson’s kiss, disclosing the intense emotions he returned for you. Your mind screamed at you for your sins and yet you were both inhuman creatures; Perpetuity of faithfulness was boresome and your husband had done little but ignore you and your hopes for a good life. Shu, however, had been there since the beginning of your marriage - even if you’d started out as nothing more than his father’s wife - now you were so much more, immensely more. Your knees buckled as you gave into the kiss, unable to avoid your feelings for him a second longer - you needed him just like this and he needed you too.

Human or not, the inherent wrongness burned your flesh and chest. You’d tried to be a good wife but your husband had practically abandoned you here with his sons bred for him by other women, he’d left you here and did little to even write to you. Loneliness was an obvious side-effect and it was only a matter of time before you would’ve fallen into another’s arms. But your debauchery brought you right into his son’s embrace. A terrible wife indeed.

Shu devoured your moans, swallowing your lust and increasing his own as his ample size grew in the confinements of his pants. “Fuck,” He huffed out as you pulled away from him, blinking. Your thighs burned with a need only he could satisfy. A shy hand wandered down his body towards his growing erection, stroking it from the fabric of his pants. Your efforts were rewarded by the sound of his deep groans. How long had it been since anyone touched you like this? Since you’d been able to make someone feel unutterable pleasure - since anyone made you feel wanted? You had slept with Karlheinz only a couple of times and he failed to sate your inner hunger as Shu was doing with only kisses and loving groans. “You’re playing with fire,” He breathed out, staring at you and sealing you in place. “I...know,” You swallowed thickly, “P-please, I...I need-” “What do you need, whore?” His teasing words of degradation made you feel alive, you were the object of his uttermost attention. His lips traced your neck, licking and gnawing but never piercing, fangs flying over the tender flesh. “You.” The certainty in your otherwise meek voice nearly made him burst right there. He was done restraining himself, pearly fangs sharper than needles pierced your neck as Shu drank the sweet nectar beneath. Your pleasured moans filled the hallways of the Sakamaki manor and he prayed his brothers could hear you wherever they were knowing that he won you. And he was going to keep you. You were going to no longer be just his stepmother - you would be his woman.

The blood, thick and plentiful, dripped down your neck. The droplets were not wasted as his tongue gathered them before they could drip onto the marble flooring. Shu was going to get addicted to this taste - your taste - he was sure of it. This was what you were made for; to belong to him. As he did this you toyed with his pants, unzipping them and releasing his erect cock from its prison, letting it spring free, wet with precum. “Oh fuck,” You whimpered at the sensation, pumping up and down his length. You wanted this, you wanted him so badly. You could feel yourself slowly dripping with clenched thighs. This was wrong - it was revolting - but you couldn’t stop the heat inside you, your inner desires. On your quest to befriend your sons you inadvertently ended up falling in love with one of them and never before had you longed to be held by someone as you did when you were with him.

You wanted to be his, no one else’s. But you couldn’t be, for you already were a taken woman; despite the truth, you wanted to succumb to your immorality; to pretend that, for tonight alone, you were his.

Once he pulled away from your neck Shu chuckled lowly, “You’re such a lewd slut, mother.” You cringed at the name, reminding yourself of the positions between you two and, for a short-lived second, you attempted to pull away except the moment you did he caged in on you, back shoved against the wall with burning eyes glaring at you. “But you’re going to be my slut from now on.” his breath hitched as your hand movements sped up, blushing crimson from your wicked sensuality. You were loving this, in all its sinfulness. “Y-Yes,” You choked out submissively as you brought him to his edge, creamy cum coating your hand and sinking into the fabric of your dress, physically tainting you. It drove you wild.

The sight of you in front of him, dress dripping with his cum made him hard almost instantly as he ordered you to strip for him after he grabbed your arm and pulled you into the empty music room - he didn’t want to be interrupted by any of his bothersome brothers.

“Strip for me.”

You nodded and bit down harshly on your lip, droplets of blood still flowing from your neck at the open puncture wound, staining the white semen-soaked fabric as you unzipped the back and slowly released your hold on it as it fell down your form until you were exposed in only your undergarments, intimate and raw. This was incredibly embarrassing and yet, for him...you didn’t mind humiliating yourself. You were convinced of it, now: you were in love with him. Soft hands twirled around to unclip your bra, feeling as though it wasn’t merely your body which you were exposing to him but your very being as your breasts bounced free from the cups’ confinements, bra forgotten as you threw it down onto the floor, not caring about anything else but him. ‘Don’t do this’, your sanity pleaded but whatever morality may have existed in the cage of your heart was extinguished with a single gaze into his yearning eyes. If you didn’t do this the lack of his touch on your skin would surely drive you insane. You just wanted to be loved, cherished and used.

You were married - and although that sentiment alone should have been enough to snap you out of this sexual haze you were trapped in, it did little to sway your lust-filled judgement. Swallowing nervously your fingers dipped below the strips of your panties, sliding down your silky thighs, pride consumed you as you watched his subtle but intense reactions, the way his thick member twitched in anticipation made you feel powerful for the first time in your life. You couldn’t wait to feel him inside you. “Come here,” He growled, making you squeal as you nodded like a good little whore and fell onto your knees, crawling over to him - you felt like putting on a show for him, filled with risque concupiscence. If your husband was to ever find out you feared the consequences and despite the dangers, it drove you further into the arms of his eldest son to consider how taboo, how wrong such a union was. There was something unspokenly intimate about this. An intimacy from which you never wished to awaken. As soon as you were at his feet you admired his cock, glistening from residue cum in the moonlight. “Oh God,” You were about to cross a border from which you could never return and it turned you on profoundly to think about how your relationship would develop from here. Opening your mouth, you took his length inside your warmth, (e/c) eyes staring up at him like a sweet gazelle, pumping your head up and down and twisting your tongue around him as you sucked his member with a fierce determination to please. He believed this was the closest to heaven he would ever be; you, his personal fallen angel at his feet, his cock in your mouth.

Shu thought you were perfect just like this; doing all the work as you fucked your mouth on his cock, giving him your all as he sat back, eyes fluttering shut to focus on the pleasure you were providing. You were so good for him, such a pretty girl. Such an ideal woman, his woman. Further lewd commentary fell from his lips as he prompted you on. He wanted you on your knees for him each night, and you would be. He would make sure that things would stay this way forever now he was so close to having you all to himself. Even if it meant having to fight against his father, even if it meant the most intensive of efforts and having to use all the energy he had stored in his muscles - though he’d never utter it aloud, for you he would do anything.

Even if the only way to keep you would be to commit patricide. You were worth it. Just before his release, he pulled your head back by gripping your hair forcefully causing a pained yell to escape from you, your voice full of physical anguish that set off a primal need within his chest. “That’s enough.” He then lifted your chin to look him in the eyes, “Ride me.” You gulped back the juices in your mouth and shakily stood as your thighs were flooded with slick. “Y-Yes I…” You blushed vehemently as you aligned yourself with his cock, sucking in a sharp hiss as you felt the heat of it against your burning cunt. “I want you to make me yours.” Instantly you sat down, thighs clenched as your walls adjusted to the intrusion, making you cry out in ecstasy. Did you seriously almost orgasm simply from having his length inside of you? You couldn’t be blamed - not when your husband had neglected you. But it was going to be all better now that Shu was here to help you. Just as a good stepson should. “Fuck,” He gasped out quietly, breath falling from his chest. You were so fucking tight he could’ve potentially fooled himself into believing you were still virginal. That was, of course, until he reminded himself that his father stole that honour for himself and elicited underlying rage in Shu. With the buck of his hips he drove himself inside you as you cried out his name, holding tightly onto him, arms tied around his neck as you rode him, clumsily moving your hips and revealing your sexual inexperience to him; the knowledge that his father didn’t seem to take any time cherishing your body like this, lewd and sinful, eased him somewhat because it meant he could be the one to make you completely lose your mind and become his perfect little whore.

Maybe he’d even make you his wife, along the way.

His arms held your waist and he lazily guided the movement of your hips. You were insatiable, rapid. He could tell you wanted to go faster but his strong hands consistently ceased your attempts - he was going to force you to take your time, to truly feel the way his cock filled your insides, to ensure your walls would take the shape of his dick.

He wanted you to know that he was superior to his father, that no one could ever please you better. He never felt so attached to anyone prior to you, you did something to him. Something dark. Enchanting. And he was never going to let you go after this. By giving your body to him, you have given yourself in your totality.

Even if you didn’t know it quite yet, or didn’t fully apprehend the consequences sex with him would bring.

Your whines became far more desperate with each blunt thrust. Slow, steady but forceful; Shu’s cock reached into the deepest parts of you, lovingly rubbing your cunt. It was indisputable that he was focused on your enjoyment as much as he was on his - it wasn’t anything like what sex with Karlheinz was like, he was self-gratifying and solely cared about his own high, Shu (much to your surprise) paid attention to your smallest reactions to ensure this was as great for you as it was for him. His fingers delved below and started to mercilessly torment your clit, electricity flying through your spine and cunt clenching as more love juices were produced, soaking his cock and helping to lubricate the thrusts.

He wanted to show you how mindblowing sex with him could be, to show you he could love you in ways no one else ever could. In the eyes of his brothers, especially in Reiji and Ayato’s point-of-view, he was the one who got everything; the golden, careless heir. But they did not and would never understand that he had everything he didn’t want. His entire life the things he truly yearned for were stolen from him, his happiness, his innocence, his friends and beloved companions of human and animal kind; destroyed, ruined, killed. It reared his indifference to the material goods he possessed for they held absolutely no value of their own. And now there was you. You, you, you. Sakamaki Shu knew that, without a single shred of disbelief, he would happily give up all of this if it meant he got to keep you. All the wealth and grandeur and power that his position brought was worthless in comparison to his beloved whore whimpering above him as she impaled herself on his cock.

“S-Shu,” You moaned out into his ear, “Fa...faster, please,” You choked back spit as you made feeble attempts to catch your breath, the intense friction between your joined bodies making it difficult to think. It wasn’t as rough or primal as you initially thought it would be like, it was...better than that, intimate. Was this what they mean when they say sex can be ‘making love’? This closeness between bodies as they become one, the heat and passion in the air and bouncing breasts and thighs clasped around one’s lover? It wasn’t fucking - it was so much more. A proclamation of love, even, though you could never dare and utter that belief out loud. His self-satisfied comments, “Hm,” He playfully paused completely, making your eyes widen as you stared at him with desperation for him to continue, to let you reach your climax. Your nails scratched his back like a needy brat as you cried out pleas, “Please - please Shu, I need you to keep going I-” You swallowed thickly, blinking wildly as your core ached without movement and he kept your hips down, unable to fuck yourself on his dick regardless of how hard you tried. “Say you love me.” “W-What?” You gasped out, sweaty and needy but with enough common sense to know that saying something like that to him - even if it was true - would seal a secret deal between lovers, it would open all the nightmares of your very own Pandora’s Box.

But you loved him - you did, somewhere along the way you became enamoured by your stepson and now he was inside of you, fucking you with a tenderness that made you sure that he must love you, too. “I…” You smiled weakly, genuinely. You pulled back ever-so-slightly, (e/c) eyes sinking into his. There was a vulnerability in his eyes that he was finally permitting you to see; he trusted you with his heart, you could see that now. Your hand stroked his cheek, his hard dick still throbbing inside of you (you knew he wanted to keep going but held himself back, resolved to get what he wanted out of you). He melted into the caress, your hands were soft as angel feathers. “I am in love with you, Sakamaki Shu.” Despite the arousal that filled your mind you earnestly tried to convey the true depth of your affections for him and it seemed to awaken the beast of passion as he soon started to bounce you up and down his thick, throbbing member at a speed only vampires could achieve, determined to claim your womb for his own.

It wasn’t hard to notice your maternal longings, your desire to baby the boys despite their inherent aggression towards you all but proved it. And if was a baby you wanted, well...who was he to deny you of that right? His hushed grunts only sent you further into ecstasy - You had the power of feminine sexuality over him and it gave you somewhat of a power rush. It was paradise - not worthless fucking like animals - but true divinity here in his arms, where you felt appreciated and loved and as though you finally had a raison d’etre - You wanted to be his so badly it caused you physical anguish but you were his if only for the moment, connected to him so snugly. “I love you,” You sobbed out as tears welled in your eyes from the intense satisfaction and your own emotions coming to the surface, “I love you, I love you,” Each word sent Shu into a brand new dimension of rapture. You loved him, you loved him - more than anyone else in this world. If binding your bodies together didn’t officially make you his your whimpering confessions just did. The urge to impregnate you with his seed only grew with every passing moment as you mechanically moved in perfect timing to his thrusts, nails once again clawing at his flesh. “That’s a-” He inhaled sharply, stopping mid-moan, “That’s a good girl,” He breathed heavily, you felt so perfect on his dick, his personal cockslut, the love of his life, stepmother and soon; the mother of his children. “F-Fuck you’re going to look...fucking amazing,” He sighed out as he felt your fluttering walls try their hardest to milk him, “When you’re swollen with my troublesome brats, heh…” He could only smugly smile at your immediate reaction to the statement being to clunch down on him, tightening as if your womb was begging him to cum inside, to fertilise your pussy and breed you over and over. “Pregnant?” You exhaled out, teary-eyed as you locked your eyes with him, fucked out to the high heavens with sweat causing your hair to stick to your reddened forehead and lipstick smudged with perky, puffed lips. “Yo-You want to get me pregnant…?” The timidity of your voice betrayed your excitement. Logically you wanted to escape, to push him away and scold him for even suggesting such a thing - you couldn’t become pregnant with his child! It was atrocious enough that you were currently having this affair with him, your stepson, but to be bred by him was in a category all of its own - truly disgusting.

No matter how much your husband neglected you he didn’t deserve to for his wife to not only cheat on him with his own son but to be inseminated by him - but the inner beast within you was wanton, a silent whisper in your mind that tried to persuade you to surrender fully to your hopes for motherhood, to allow this man in front of you, this beautiful vampiric prince, to fill you with his seed and claim you as his bitch, his bride; to be stolen from the man you originally wed and live your eternity as Shu’s whore. “I-...we can’t, Shu! We-” Morals renewed, you tried to get through to him, “Please-” “Shut up.” He ordered and you instantly did as told, being the good girl that you were. “Don’t lie to me. You’re loving the-” He moaned, “-idea of...of my children growing inside of you. I felt you tighten up at the notion, you’re such a fucking lewd woman. My lewd slut.” You hated yourself because you knew he was right; it was true. You wanted this so badly, to give birth to his kin, to feel your uterus painted white with his cum. Primal needs craved relief. “No, we...we can’t, I...don’t…” You choked on your words as he kissed you roughly, his thumb on your clit twirling and pulling until you were unable to form anything more coherent than mindless stutters. “S-Shu! Fuck, fuck, fuck I...I...I love you! I do! I do, please I just...I want-” “What do you want, pretty whore?” “...I want, I w….want your cum! I need it, I need you to fill me up and get me pregnant!” The last remainder of your will crumbled under the pressure of your sudden orgasm. ‘I’m so sorry, Karl…’ you thought bitterly as amazement overtook you, making you screech in the midst of the night in the moonlight, squeezing the lifeforce out of your stepson’s dick. Shu groaned and laughed in dark victory as you came undone around him, biting into his neck instinctively mid-orgasm. The sharp sensation was enough to push him completely over the edge.

Your tongue lapped over his neck, sipping the blood that flowed with delicious fervour as the heat of his semen poured into your deepest depths, coating your womb with his lust. Once you pulled away you felt almost faint from the intensity of your love-making, concupiscence fading as the realisation of what you just did hit you in full force, causing your eyes to open. “Shu..oh fuck, I...we...just--” You squealed and tried to hop off but he kept your hips forced down, still inside your leaking cunt despite slowly growing soft. “No.” Shu was serious, now, eyes grave. “You’re not running away. You,” He exhaled, bringing your lips closer to his, “Are mine.” “Shu-” The distance between your lips was closed as he fought with your tongue. Your heart yearned to return his kiss and despite the inner war ongoing within your soul you did, tongues dancing in the warmth of your mouth. When he pulled away he smiled.

And you felt yourself smile too, hand travelling to the spot below your stomach but above your cunt. “You’re mine now, troublesome woman.” You laughed, nodding and kissed him again. The conflict within you wouldn’t fade, and you were terrified of what might happen now to yourself and to Shu. But maybe it won’t be that bad. It was only one time - you can surely find some form of birth control to ingest before the next time, and he’d never have to know. It was...one time, so you shouldn’t get pregnant this time...right?

Somehow you felt proud - proud to have his cum flowing from your core, to know it’s his seed that potentially is currently fertilising you and not your husband’s. You did feel authentically guilty but the guilt made you more aroused. Karlheinz didn’t deserve...this and despite that here you were, and the worst part was you knew you wouldn’t be able to stop anytime soon, there was no point in vowing to yourself that this would be the ‘last time’ because you knew that the moment he came inside you you were already addicted to him. The child of your lover...realistically it was an awful, unspeakable idea but a sense within you wanted to go through with it, to allow yourself fertility, to fully become his.

Little did you know you would have no choice in the matter.

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violettelueur · 4 years ago

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— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE NINE || SMALL FLY AND REVERSE RETRIBUTION

↳ featuring : gojo satoru + ieiri shoko (mentions of fushiguro megumi + kugisaki nobara + zenin maki + nanami kento) from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : mention of corpse + mention of blood + EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 09 march

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 2.4k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : boredom

↳ next episode : idle transfiguration

↳ barista’s notes : hi there everyone! right now i know i haven’t been the most active i have been but i really thankful on how patient you all are ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ once again, thank you all for the birthday messages you have given me and the love that you all have for Y/N, i’m really glad that you love her character ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ i hope you enjoy today’s episode even though it isn’t that interesting at all to be honest...

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5 for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique

no cursed spells used this episode..

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

“At this point, I’m not going to get any sleep if I keep doing this,” you mumbled quietly to yourself, as you leisurely walked down the stone steps that lead to the familiar track field you had been going to for the past few weeks for training due to the up and coming Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill Event.

Currently, there was nothing more than a few mild wind breezes as well as the brightness from the moon keeping you company as you decided to come out of your room for the night - how many times have you done this? You wouldn’t even know the answer yourself, you just let yourself go outside to get some fresh air.

Finally reaching to the bottom of the steps, you casually made your way to the tree you always sat under during training with your classmates and second-year upper-classmen before taking off your black longline coat to place it on the ground like a cover as you processed to sit before laying right on top of it leading your view to change from the field to the sky that was slightly shielding by the branch and leaves from the trees.

“What...am I even doing here?” you questioned yourself while raising your arm slightly above your face as you stared at your hand absently like the answer you were looking for was at the back of your hand.

From what you have learnt at being at Jujutsu Tech for some time, you learnt that everyone had a purpose of being at the institution that you were currently residing in now.

Everyone you have met and knew here at this moment in time had a purpose or a goal of being a jujutsu sorcerer.

What about you?

Fushiguro thought the world was unfair and the reasoning behind his reasoning of becoming a sorcerer was to be a tool within a system that ensured kind people were given more chances in living. However, unlike you, you weren’t really fond of his reasoning at all.

What happens if those ‘good’ people you saved become the criminal you refused to save? What happens if those ‘good’ people you deemed ‘good’ become the most immoral and sinful person you ever encountered? What happens if those ‘good’ people you save that smiled at your actions for them lead that smile to fade?

Like you mentioned, you weren’t fond of his reasoning at all. There were too many risks.

Kugisaki's reasoning was humorous as she wanted to move out of the countryside without any worries of financial issues but you knew somewhere in your heart that there was another reason she wasn’t telling you when you asked her during your usual weekend shopping trip with her. On the other hand, you admired her in some way, she was the personification of not needing to choose between strength and beauty.

However, that wasn’t the answer you weren’t looking for at all.

Zenin (Maki) wanted to escape the ties of the Zenin clan due to her situation of not being able to possess any kind of cursed energy compared to the averaged sorcerer, yet with the heavenly restriction that was traded with the lack of cursed energy, she processed superhuman physical prowess that was more powerful than most sorcerers you come to know.

Her reasoning? To become the head of the Zenin clan to irritate the other members.

When she mentioned her ambition to you, you were quite sceptical in the beginning but that slowly diminished once you saw the cheeky grin on her face, you soon came to realise that she wasn’t like any of them from whom you could recall due to your mother’s knowledge of them when she was still alive. Zenin was extremely strong-headed and straightforward which led to her motivation causing your respect for her to slowly rise up as each day went by.

On the other hand, you had escaped the ties of the clans, you had that advantage ahead of her since the day you came into this world, yet that changed the second you came into school that night. That wasn’t the answer you were trying to discover.

Then there was Gojo Satoru. A man that is known to be the strongest in this generation as he processed both the Limitless technique as well as the Six Eyes after 400 years assumingly and was the lone standing member of the Gojo clan unless your adoption made a change to that to which you knew it wasn’t likely at all.

To be honest, Gojo never told you his reasoning on becoming a sorcerer and it must be said that he didn’t really have a choice, to begin with. He was immediately placed into this world as the fate of the jujutsu world was resting on his shoulders while your clan was the maintenance of that order and if anything happened to the man himself, you were the next sorcerer to restore the stability of the world.

‘Ugh, what a drag…’

Although, without his words, you could predict what he wanted. Gojo seemed like he wanted a revolution. A change and actively collecting sorcerers that had the same mindset as him was one way of beginning it. You couldn’t deny that Gojo was a smart man but one with a hint of narcissist meaning to it.

Slowly, you come to realise that you were a tool within his plan.

Something you slowly wanted to take advantage of for the time being.

However, as much as his plan was one you were tensely going to follow, that still wasn’t the answer you desired at all.

“Because I’m not supposed to exist Fushiguro, you’re a Zenin by blood, you should know that my clan shouldn’t exist after the golden age, we disappeared,”

“That’s right...I wasn’t supposed to exist…”

Slowly you finally placed your arm back down to your side before closing your eyes allowing the darkness to consume your sight but you didn’t allow it to consume the whole of you since you weren’t willing to fall asleep outside in the world where you felt most vulnerable.

It was quiet.

From what you could sense around you at this current moment in time, there was no one around you right now, no sound of footsteps that were out of place and no lingering sense of cursed energy around you.

You felt free.

Completely free.

Even if it was for a couple of seconds.

“You know, instead of being a drag, maybe inform that you are here,” you stated, as you opened your eyes slowly to discover a well-known face staring down at you as their body towered over yours.

“You can sense me that quick?” Gojo asked, with a cheeky smile painted on his face as he tilted his glasses down to reveal his crystal indicolite eyes that somehow looked as if they were brighter than the moon that was above the both of you right now.

“You have an immense amount of cursed energy, it’s quite easy to sense you to be honest...too easy,” you mentioned, before turning on to your side as if to avoid eye contact with him due to the feeling of him studying you like you were s subject - it was creepy.

“If you are going to study me about my ability, just go to the library in the school to read about my clan, I’m sure that is enough,” you informed your teacher, causing him to giggle at your comment before inviting himself to sit next to you.

“Nah, I got the real thing of the lingering L/N clan here and I don’t like reading~” Gojo amusingly stated, before placing a hand on the top of your head before gently ruffling your hair. “Besides, you and I both know that something is going on right now,” Gojo seriously mentioned, causing you to become slightly tense as you began to recall the unexpected attack against him that he was hinting to you.

“Do you know any curse users that are willing to work with the two curses that you encountered?” you asked Gojo in the same serious tone he gave you only for silence to fill the atmosphere leading you to turn your head slightly to see what was wrong with your adoptive father, only to notice him staring off into the distance with a nonchalant look on his face only for it to change instant with the usual playful smile he always showcased to you.

“By the way, I told Shoko to expect you tomorrow to practice your reverse cursed energy technique,” the playful teacher stated before removing his hand from your head as he stood up on his feet. “It might be difficult for you to understand since she’s not the best at explaining, but I know you’ll get it! Get back inside and get back to sleep~” he said with a teasing tone, before making his way back into the Jujutsu Tech building, leaving you alone again with your own thoughts as you stared at the direction that he had headed off to.

“What a drag…”

ꕥ

“Shoko-san?” you called out, once the metal door slid open only to discover her standing between two metal tables with what seemed to be curse corpses resting there with blood splattered messily on their resting surface.

“Oh Y/N! Satoru said you were going to come by,” Ieiri mentioned with a small smile, as she turned to look at you while tying her hair back leading you to notice the very visible purple under eye bags she had.

Ieiri Shoko was the doctor within the Jujutsu Tech institution and was one of the only people that was able to use reverse cursed technique like you but more at an advanced level leading you to mentally thank Gojo for allowing you to learn from her since you had been struggling to use it to the level that she was. Even your mother was struggling to help improve your technique since the only time you were able to use it to your full potential was when you were in critical danger.

“What’s going on?” you curiously asked as you observed the gruesome sight in front of you while trying to ignore the horrible smell that was coming from the corpses as you gently placed your hand over your nose to block the scent.

“There was been an incident in Kinema Cinema and I have been asked to check out these since one of the sorcerers that were assigned to the mission stated there was something odd about them,” Ieiri explained before handing you a black elastic band leading to a confused look to invade your face.

“And I want you to help since Saturo said you have a really good sense of seeing residue of cursed energy, as well as sense, cursed energy itself,” Ieiri informed you leading you to take the hairband from her grasp as well as the other surgical mask that was needed in case you both needed to dissect something.

“Are you sure I’m allowed to do this? I don’t have a license,” you questioned, as you placed the mask over your mouth causing Ieiri to look at you before saying to not worry since she was here - which caused you to look at her with a sceptical expression before going on to the task at hand as you stood next to her to peer over one of the deceased curses that were laying on the metal bench.

While observing the gruesome sight, you began to steadily see a trail of the lingering residue of cursed energy from the whole body, yet for some reason, there was a connection to the brain as you continued to stare that the sight much to your dismay.

“Human?” you stated in a perplexed tone while continuing to look at the head as the most amount of residue was there for the most part. “There’s a connection to the brain, so I assume the brain stems have been tampered with to alter the formation of the body, but the person wouldn’t know any of that due to probably their now impaired consciousness...it’s as if the human has been transfigured in a way like the other one behind us,” you informed Ieiri, who seemed to agree with you as she lightly nodded her head.

“Though the relationship between the brain and the cursed energy is still a black box right now, they died because of the modification and not because of the sorcerer,” the doctor added, causing you to give a side glance in her direction as you continued to listen to her explanation.

“Do you think it’s to do with the soul?” you asked, as you fully turned to look at her while she looked at you in confusion.

“Right now, we’re looking at it in a biological sense but if we are talking about a cursed spirit like Sukuna for example that is doing this, it has to do with the soul rather than the body itself,” you informed the doctor, causing her to look at you with widened eyes as she didn’t expect her old schoolmate’s daughter to have such a high capability to come to different ideas since it was Gojo that was your parent after all.

“Kento will have to ask the culprit about their cursed technique to see if your theory is correct,” Ieiri mentioned, leading you to look at her confused once again as you threw your surgical mask in the bin, only for her to swiftly inform you that a grade one sorcerer by the name of Nanami Kento was the one to inform her about the situation.

“I have to make a quick call to him to explain the discovery we made. Can you step outside and wait for me before I call you back so we can proceed to your lesson?” the doctor asked you with a smile leading you to nod at her before making your way towards the metal door that had come through before as you took one more peek at the Jujutsu Tech’s doctor’s direction with a perplexed and doubtful sense.

‘What’s the reason for me to be out of the room if I got involved with the investigation? What are you hiding from me?’

However, you didn’t want to make a whole fuss about your suspicion since you really didn’t have the effort to voice out your concern leading you to leave the room with more questions plaguing your mind as the ringing tone carried itself in the air.

“This is such a drag”

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stagefoureddiediaz · 3 years ago

Note

Has the fandom even considered the idea that Lucy might have a significant other? Or are they that fast to jump to conclusions about her and buck?

Hey Nonnie

Much of this fandom seems to be quick to jump to conclusions and automatically assume the worst! There are those who for whatever reason will only ever find the negatives in whatever situation regardless of how much evidence to the contrary you put before them! Thankfully much of my little corner of fandom seems to have considered the possibility of Lucy having a significant other, some have dismissed it and others have run with the idea and I’ve seen some fun takes - which have been intended to be just that - a bit of fun speculation exploring the possibilities!

We know next to nothing about Lucy at this point - we’ve got a few bts bits an pieces, a couple of stills and about 4 seconds of footage from the trailer and the few sentences in a couple of interviews from Oliver and Tim - we know she’s an adrenaline Junkie and the ‘female version of Buck’ but even those two bits of information could be read multiple ways!

The writers want to explore certain aspects of our main characters and in order to do that you have to have foils, adversaries, guides etc - so they create characters such as Lucy - and Jonah (poor Jonah,we know less than nothing about him) that allow them to move the narrative along. You need a variety of characters to do this - you can’t move stories along with just the characters who are there for 1 episode - you need some who will be there for longer - so they push can the mains into situations and scenarios beyond the emergencies - it would make for poor storytelling and character development if they did.

Lets take Taylor as an example - the entire purpose of Taylor is to push Buck into certain things - things that need build up and lots of development (so that we can do justice to Buck and his story - like real life not everything can be solved in 5 minutes over 1 or 2 episodes) so that he can be manoeuvred by the writers to where they want him to be - we the audience are invested in Buck and we want to know more about him and how he behaves/ reacts to different things.

The main thing we know about Buck through all 5 seasons of the show is his continued search for love and his navigating the world through that search. We’ve watched him learn and grow from each relationship - educating him on what he’s looking for - and teaching him what he doesn’t want. We saw the meaningless hooks ups and how he didn’t find them satisfying because he wanted connection. We saw him find a connection through Abby and learn about stepping in and being there. Ali was short lived, but she was there to allow him to move past Abby - that he could love again and he learnt that his job is a part of who he is and he shouldn’t sacrifice that part of him for a relationship.

Then we have Taylor - from her he is putting into practice what he’s previously learnt - stepping in, his jobs importance etc, but he is also learning. Learning that you need more than sexual attraction as the foundation to build a relationship on, he’s learning (although he may not have realised the full reality of it yet) what sustenance he needs from a partner. He’s learning about trust in a relationship and about communication and the difference between good and bad communication and its importance in developing trust.

Taylor is the antithesis of Eddie for a reason - we are being shown that Tay and Buck don’t communicate - that they don’t listen - while Buck and Eddie do - not perfectly (that’s part of what 5b is going to be about) - but we’ve been shown Eddie listening to what Buck says and we’ve seen Buck saying what he knows Eddie needs to hear even if it’s not his own belief and we’ve seen Buck take on board what Eddie has said and shown him i.e the reining in of his more impulsive urges and Eddies silent but stedfast determination to show buck he is important and valued.

The problems we’re seeing develop are happening because the communication between Eddie and Buck has stopped because of trauma - which means Buck has lost the stable thing he’s relied on up to now - this is pushing him towards bad choices - Taylor is part of that - he is repeating past behaviours by being with her - allowing himself to be undervalued, chasing lost causes etc etc. Lucy is just the next step in the equation.

My personal take on Lucy is that she isn’t what pushes him into becoming Buck 1.0 - he is already there -

Have you noticed that both Lena and Lucy are appearing in the picture at times when both Eddie and Buck are going through it - Lena appears after Eddie has lost his wife and Christophers mother, when Buck is recovering from two different medical traumas and unable to work at the firehouse with Eddie - they are physically separated - then Lena swings in during the tsunami (which is traumatic for both Eddie and Buck in different ways) and moves the plot along - through the lawsuit an fight club in a way that allows Buck and Eddie to actually come out the other side stronger than before.

We are going to get exactly the same with Lucy - both Buck and Eddie are going through it - its just playing out over a slightly longer time frame - the shooting, the hostage situation are the equivalent to Bucks medical traumas and have led to him not being/feeling able to work at the firehouse - Buck is feeling like he’s lost his family and he’s in an unsatisfactory relationship - the equivalent of Shannon dying and the distance with Eddie has grown again as a result - leaving them both isolated from each other in the same way that the lawsuit did when Lena was around. Lucy is going to be making her bow in a pretty high stakes rescue - similar to Lena’s entrance! Eddies breakdown and all that is going to entail is like an amped up version of the lawsuit - it is going to keep him separated from his family even as he fights to get back to them, while buck falling back on old ways is the equivalent to the fight club.

Sometimes you need to fall back into old behaviours so you can learn what it is you value, what you want, what you need, what is most important, so you can recognise how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown (just as we saw Eddie do through the fight club arc - that was him falling back into old behaviours) as a person and reaffirm what makes you a better you. And that is what Lucy’s purpose is and it’s why her name means light (and if you want to take her surname in to consideration then her light is god given!!) - she is a lighthouse - there to guiding him away from the dangers up ahead if he continues his current course and show him where safe passage to his future is if he changes course and takes the lessons being given to him.

Sorry this ended up so long and a bit of a cathartic rambly exploration rant of what the writers are doing and how they’ve been signposting it for a while I hope it makes sense! Of course this not directed at you Nonnie you are just the inspiration to get this off my chest 🤣 so thank you 😘💜💜💜

#kym answers things #kym rambles #911 fandom discourse #lucy is a storytelling vehicle and its going to bringBuck and Eddie even closer #kym talks about 911 #911 #911 on fox #Buck #eddie #evan buckley #Eddie Diaz #lucy donato #anti taylor kelly #anti buck Taylor #to be safe

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