#at one point i was in the car during some fog and my mom was like 'it should be legally required to have your headlights on in fog'

[faggotry-enjoyer]

every time i throw away the can from hard cider it feels Wrong in my bones bc it Should be a bottle deposit cause it Feels like a soda can cause it basically Is a soda can but No

[roxygen22]

Still Here

Chapter 1

Summary: After the life and home you built falls apart, you serendipitously bump into your old high school sweetheart, Timothée.

C/W: Divorce, mention of complicated pregnancy (nothing graphic)

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"I thought you were too good for this place, [Y/N]."

You spun around in the grocery store aisle to see your high school sweetheart, Timothée, holding a box of cereal in one hand, a shopping basket in the other, and a smirk on his face. His still very handsome face. He seemed to take great pleasure in the look of shock on yours.

"Timmy," you breathed.

"You came back."

<three weeks earlier>

The road ahead of you seemed to go on and on and on. You hadn't seen another car in at least an hour as you drove across the plains of Kansas. Your nine year old daughter, Madison, was asleep in the back seat, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Alone. That word didn't sit well with you.

A nasty divorce left you with nothing but what you could pack in your car. You had nowhere to go except back to your tiny hometown across the country in rural Tennessee to move back in with your parents. You hadn't been back since you graduated from high school 12 years ago.

You were valedictorian and had your pick of schools. Much to your parents' chagrin, you were itching to get as far away from the "sticks" as possible, so you applied to universities all along the West Coast. You were over the moon when you received a full ride to UCLA to study biomedical engineering, where you met...him. Your now ex-husband. The two of you met during convocation festivities your freshman, his junior year. You had just left your friends behind in Tennessee and had not yet built a local support network, so you latched onto this cute, kind man who picked up the book you dropped.

The kind man who later left you and your daughter to live with a younger woman who "gets" him better.

You and he dated for a little over a year before he asked you to marry him. Not one for big productions, you decided for a courthouse ceremony a few days later because you just couldn't wait to be joined with the love of your life in marriage forever. You were soon pregnant. Unfortunately, the pregnancy was not an easy one. Severe morning (more like morning, noon, and night) sickness led to multiple hospitalizations, forcing you to miss classes. You eventually reached a point of no return and had to drop out.

Your husband was still able to finish university, though, and was luckily able to quickly secure stable employment, which allowed you to stay home to care for your newborn baby. As the years passed, he became increasingly distant, staying late at work or making excuses to leave again once he was home. You weren't surprised when, after ten years of marriage, he told you he wanted a divorce, because you did, too. But you had no way to support yourself and a child. You hadn't held down a job since before Madison was born. Your work history prior to that was limited because you were so young. You had no collateral or credit history, either. Everything had been in his name.

You had to start over. You had to go back to the beginning.

<present>

Tennessee.

"You came back."

"Yes, I just recently moved back in with my parents. I-"

"Mom, can we get some chips? Nana doesn't have any good snacks," Madison complained behind you as she came back to the same aisle. Timothée went wide-eyed as he looked at the girl and then back at you. She leaned around you to stare back at him. "Who's he?"

"This is my- uh- friend from high school, Timothée. Timothée, this is my daughter, Madison."

"Whoa. She looks just like you did at that age." He shook his head as if to clear a fog. "Where are my manners?" he quipped as he stepped around you and held out his hand to her. "It's nice to meet you, Madison. Your mother and I go way back."

"You knew my mom when she was my age?"

"Before that, even. We went to school together all the way from kindergarten to senior year until she moved to California for college," Timothée replied before locking eyes with you. "She was very eager to get out of here, so I am rather surprised to run into her today."

"It's a long story." You cleared the lump forming in your throat and looked down at Madison. "We should get going. We need to get these groceries home and refrigerated again."

"Right, well, maybe I'll see you around again now that you are back in town." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I'm sure we will bump into each other." Hopefully, you thought to yourself. "It's a small town - that's practically inevitable."

<><><><><>

Chapter 2

MASTERLIST

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Tag List: @croatianprincess

[princessbatears]

Papá Noel

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x Werewolf Single Mom f!Reader Summary: Javi appoints Astrid his little helper elf on Christmas Eve Warnings: secular Christmas themes (i.e. gift giving, Santa Claus, Christmas tree, etc.), mild sexual content, language, mention of alcohol, feelings of inadequacy, mention of spousal/parent death Words: 3k A/N: This takes place during the time skip in Casa Werewolf Chapter 9

“There’s so much snow!” Bo yells for the dozenth time from the backseat of the car as Javi drives up the winding road.

“At least a meter, right, Mama?” Tallulah guesses.

You smile. “I’m not sure there’s quite that much, but there might be soon if it keeps snowing like this.”

“How much longer?” Astrid asks, whole face smushed against the glass of the window, her breath fogging it up.

“We’re almost there,” Javi promises. “You should be able to see the house soon.”

This is his first Christmas with you and your triplets and he couldn’t be more excited. He’s brought you all to his Swiss chalet for the school break. It’s quiet and private, the perfect place for a werewolf-filled holiday that your family deserves.

“Do you remember seeing snow before?” you ask, turning around in your seat to look at the kids.

Astrid ponders. “Maybe.”

Bo shakes his head. “Just from the pictures.”

“Mama’s got pictures of us when we were really little in the snow,” Tallulah informs Javi. “It was before Daddy died.”

He smiles at her in the rearview mirror. “Those are very special pictures.”

“We’ll show you when we get back home.”

“Are we gonna take new pictures?” Astrid pipes up hopefully.

You smile, reaching back to stroke her hair. “Of course, as many as you want.”

“Is this the kinda snow you raced in as a puppy?” Bo asks.

Your smile grows childlike and mischievous. “Yep! Powdery, so you’ve got some traction.” Then, you turn to Javi. “When I was a pup, me and my siblings would spend hours racing each other in the snow. The deeper, the better, because it forced you to get creative. My tactic was digging tunnels so I could keep plowing ahead instead of using all the energy bouncing up and down.”

He laughs, loving the idea of you as a little kid and puppy. “I bet you beat them.”

“I did!”

A moment later, Javi turns a bend and the chalet comes into view: a cozy two-story house made of spruce with the classic gently sloping roof and lots of windows. “There it is, niños!”

There is a mad dash to get inside, mainly because you insist that the children help unload the car before they’re allowed to play.

“Your room is on the left,” Javi calls as they practically run each other over in their haste to get upstairs. When he’d known you were coming, he’d had a triple bunkbed put in the larger room.

“I want the top!” Bo’s claim travels down the staircase.

“No, me!” Tallulah argues.

Meanwhile, you’re staring in delight at the big, open room, bedecked for Christmas. In one corner, a tall tree glitters with twinkling lights, glass ornaments, and tinsel. Garland drapes over the fireplace mantle and large, knitted stockings hang below it, one for each one of you.

An advent calendar hangs on one wall, marking the day as December 24. Juniper and berry sprigs fill vases. A cheerful American-style Santa figurine sits on the top of a bookshelf with his reindeer.

“What do you think?” he asks.

“It’s gorgeous! The house, the decorations. Perfect.”

From upstairs, Tallulah yells, “I got there first!”

You grimace at Javi. “You might regret spending the whole week with us all alone here.”

“Never! I promise, any chaos and drama that those three bring can’t compare to my own family. If I was at my mama’s, I would be refereeing my great-aunts arguing over whose dentures are more uncomfortable. I promised this is preferable to that.”

You let out a snort-giggle of disbelief. “That does not happen.”

“It does! See this.” He points at a small scar on his left forearm. “Tía Carmen bit me with hers when she thought I’d sided with Tía Paulina. Vicious.”

Laughing, you bend to kiss the spot. “Poor baby,” you coo mockingly. Then, you shake your head. “I can’t believe we’re here, in Switzerland, for Christmas, on vacation!”

He chuckles, pulling you close to him. “How long has it been since you had a vacation?”

“God,” you ponder. “Not since Ivan and I first got married. We didn’t have enough money once we had the babies. Not to mention, it’s very hard to take a vacation with three unreliable werewolf pups. By the time they were more in control of their shifts, he’d passed.

Javi’s more determined than ever to make this an amazing rest for you. “You are long past due. For the next week, all you need to do is eat, sleep, sled, and play.”

You give him a kiss that ends with a gentle nip on his bottom lip that immediately makes him weak in the knees. “I can’t wait to play with you later,” you whisper.

He can only manage to mumble something incoherent, using all his willpower not to whisk you up to the big, plush bed that’s waiting.

A stampede behind him returns him to his senses. Three fluffy werewolf pups charge down the stairs, paws too large for their bodies slipping and sliding on the polished wood.

“You are not to go outside the fence,” you say firmly. “And as soon as it starts to get dark, your little butts need to be inside. If you smell anything larger than a rabbit, come back immediately. Understand?”

They bark their acknowledgement before scrambling for the back door. You cross to unlock and open it. They dive headfirst into the drifts of snow, disappearing completely.

He laughs as their heads pop up and down as they hop along towards the vast expanse of mountain yard.

“Ah, some peace and quiet,” you sigh happily. “They’ll probably be out there until supper.”

Javi kisses you again. “I’m going to light a fire and make us something warm to drink. You just relax.”

For the next hour, you and Javi cuddle on a nest of furs in front of the fire, drinking hot mulled cider and watching one of his favorite Spanish Christmas movies.

At one point, he glances down at you and finds that you’ve fallen asleep. He smiles, cocooning you in the furs. It’s not lost on him how much you trust him that you’re able to fall asleep while your children are playing outside and you’re in a new place.

It’s also an excellent opportunity to sort through the Christmas presents he brought.

Although Javi grew up on the Spanish tradition of the Three Kings bringing gifts in early January, he wants to honor your cultural tradition of Christmas Eve gifts.

After carefully disentangling from you, he heads upstairs with two suitcases full of presents to your room. There, he unzips the tops to double-check everything is there.

The question is, should he put them under the tree now or wait until right before midnight, when he’ll be rousing everyone to open them? Will their allure excite or torture the kids?

“What are you doing?” Astrid’s little voice startles him and he spins around, seeing her bundled in the plush robes he left by the backdoor for when the pups returned.

Then, she gasps, eyes growing huge, when spots the gifts. “Christmas presents!” She rushes over to the bed and bounces up and down. “There are so many! Can we open them?”

Definitely would be better to wait to put them out if she’s already wanting to open them.

Smiling coyly, he says, “I’m just holding onto these for Papá Noel.”

Astrid rolls her eyes. “Santa doesn’t exist.”

Javi slaps a hand against his chest, scandalized. “How could you say such a thing?”

“I’m eight,” she says like he’s the world’s biggest dumbass. He’d have expected such a response from Tallulah, who sees herself as a mini adult, but it makes him a little sad that even Astrid doesn’t believe in the mythical man.

Wait… if werewolves are real, does that mean Santa Claus might be real?

He’s distracted by her shaking more presents. “Stop using your wolf ears to try to guess.”

Then, it suddenly occurs to him that he didn’t hear her come inside. The house is too silent for Tallulah and Bo to be in it, so she must be alone.

“Where are your brother and sister?”

Her face falls. “Out racing. I got tired. And I couldn’t ever win. I’m not fast enough. I hate being the littlest!”

He crouches in front of her, pulling her into a hug. “That’s hard. But, you know what? You’re the sneakiest. I didn’t even hear you come in. And you didn’t wake your mama up. There’s no way the other two would be that quiet.”

Astrid perks up. “Yeah! I’m way sneakier than they are. They always gotta yell or crash into stuff. Not me.” She stands on her tiptoes, silently scuttling across the wood floor with a positively wicked smile on her face that makes him laugh.

It also gives him an idea. “Let’s just say Santa exists. Doesn’t he usually have a helper? A little elf?”

She shrugs. “Yeah, I guess.

“It’s an awful lot for him to have to come all the way up this mountain, so I’ve offered to put out the presents and save him the trip. Since you’re so good at being quiet, you’d be the perfect elf to assist me.”

Puffing up with pride, she beams. “I can help!”

He grins. “Okay, so we’re going to keep it a secret from Bo and Lulls. You’ll all go to bed when Mama says and then I’ll wake you up and we’ll sneak everything downstairs. How’s that sound?”

Astrid nods vehemently, practically vibrating with excitement at her new responsibility.

She clamors onto the bed and peers into a stuffed suitcase. “Oh, that one’s mine!” She snatches it up and shakes the square package. No sound comes from it. “Can I open it? As payment for being an elf?”

He pulls the gift from her hand, biting back a laugh. “Being an elf is voluntary.”

She pouts as he returns the box to the spot and zips the suitcase up.

“Go get dressed. Then, we’ll start cooking our Christmas Eve feast!”

The rest of the afternoon and evening pass in a blur. Bo and Tallulah return from their racing before everyone helps Javi heat up the delicious Christmas Eve feast that’d been prepared. Entremeses piled high with blood sausage, manchego cheese, crusty bread, olives, and pickles. Then, creamy soup, roast lamb and potatoes, followed by shortbread cookies and chocolate cake.

You and Javi practically have to roll the children up the stairs to put them to bed, they’re so stuffed and sleepy. He briefly wonders if he shouldn’t wake Astrid early, but, as he tucks her into one of the bottom bunks, she whispers in his ear, “When are you gonna wake me up?”

Smiling, he breathes back, “Half an hour before midnight.”

She grins at him before snuggling down to sleep.

You and he close the door behind you and you say softly, “You’ve really made Astrid happy asking her to be your elf.”

“It’ll be much more fun to play Papá Noel with a helper,” he chuckles.

“You know,” you purr, “we’ve got a couple hours and I’ve always wanted to kiss Santa Claus.”

He smirks, deepening his voice, “Ho ho ho!”

Thirty minutes to midnight, Javi creeps into the children’s bedroom. All three are breathing deeply, sound asleep. He presses a kiss to Astrid’s forehead before murmuring, “Astrid.”

Her big eyes flutter open and she immediately sits up excitedly. “Is it time?”

“It’s time.”

She tiptoes with him out of the room and downstairs, where he’s set out the suitcases near the tree. There’s also a pile of gifts that you’d brought that include some for him that you absolutely refuse to give him hints about.

“How do you think we should arrange the gifts?” he asks.

She hums. “The biggest ones on the bottom. Then, the other ones can stack on those. But I don’t think we should sort them by person because then, if someone has a smaller pile, they’ll be sad.”

“Very wise,” Javi agrees, although you and he made sure each kid got the exact same amount of presents.

Astrid begins pulling out each gift, setting them in piles by size. She pauses every time she reads her name on the tag and scrutinizes it. Javi’s glad he allowed a full half hour for this task because she’s in no hurry.

“These gotta go under first,” she orders, pointing at the largest packages. “Also, we gotta hide some in the back so we can be surprised when we think there’s no more presents and there still are some!”

Grabbing a long box with a scooter addressed to herself, she heaves it to the back of the tree. “That one’s got wheels, doesn’t it?”

Javi was sure he’d padded them properly, but it’s damn hard to fool Wolves. “You’ll have to wait and see.”

She humphs, going to a pile and picking up a small, flattish gift that was for him. “Well, you’ll have to wait and see what this one is. It’s from me to you.”

He bites back a chuckle as she clutches his gift to her chest with one hand and shoves at a bike for Bo with the other. It’s the heaviest gift and the only reason she’s making any progress is because she has werepup strength.

“Need some help?”

“No,” she says confidently, inching it along the floor.

Javi grabs Tallulah’s skateboard and sets it by the scooter. That’s when there’s the sharp sound of glass breaking behind him.

“Oh no!” Astrid whimpers.

He turns around to see her kneeling by his gift, which she must have dropped. Her face crumples as she starts to cry.

“It’s okay,” he says quickly, moving to embrace her. “Accidents happen.”

The sound of her tears hastens you from where you’d sequestered yourself in the bedroom while they played Santa. “Honey, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“I dropped Javi’s present and…” But she’s sobbing too hard for the rest of the sentence to be intelligible.

You crouch next to her and Javi, gently picking up the still-wrapped gift, which tinkles softly as it’s moved. “This isn’t a big deal,” you reassure, stroking her hair.

She clenches her fists, eyes now angry and amber, as she grinds out, “I can’t even be a good elf! I can’t be good at anything!”

Javi’s heart aches at this self-condemnation.

You cup her cheeks. “That’s a really hard thing to feel, that you’re not good enough. And, even if you feel that way, it doesn’t make it true.”

“I just wanted to be a good elf!”

“But you are, mi amor! Look at how organized everything is.” He gestures at the piles of presents. “We’re going to have a very stable stack under the tree where nobody feels left out. That’s something you’re very good at: making everyone feel included.”

She turns those wet, golden eyes to him, hope slowly seeping into them. “I guess that’s true. I do that at school, too. If somebody’s sitting alone, I’ll sit with them so they don’t feel lonely.”

You smile warmly at her. “You have a very kind heart.” Then, you hold up the gift. “And this isn’t ruined, sweetie. The most important part isn’t what broke. We can replace that part.”

Astrid wipes her eyes and nose on her sleeve. “We can?”

“Of course.”

“But I wanted him to open it tonight,” she sighs.

“Do you want him to peek now and then he can reopen it later?”

Astrid nods, turning to Javi. “But be careful, you don’t heal like we do if you cut yourself.”

“I’ll be careful,” he promises, setting the present down on the floor and gently opening it.

A lump forms in his throat. It’s a framed photo of the first group shot you, he, Tallulah, Bo, and Astrid took together during a day at the beach. The first picture of the five of you as a family.

“I love it!” he whispers hoarsely.

Astrid’s whole face lights up at his reaction and she locks her arms around his neck. “I’m glad it’s not ruined.”

He hugs her tightly. “You, your mama, Bo, and Tallulah being here is the greatest present I could ever have.”

She pulls back, making a face. “You sound like a Christmas movie dad.”

Javi chuckles, his hand finding yours and linking your fingers. “I do, don’t I?”

You wink at him and he grins.

Hopping to her feet, Astrid says, “It’ll be midnight soon, we gotta hurry!”

Javi nods, pushing himself up. “Yes, ma’am!”

“Do you want me to help?” you ask.

Astrid shakes her head. “Santa and Elf only.”

And thanks to her excellent direction and efforts, all the gifts are distributed around the tree two minutes before midnight.

“It’s so pretty!” she beams.

The brightly colored wrapping papers glimmer with the glow of the fire and the twinkle of the lights, and Javi has to agree— it really is pretty.

You stand, pulling your phone out of your pajama pocket. “Stand by the tree, you two, so we can document Santa and Elf’s fine work!”

Javi and Astrid stand by the tree, gesturing at it proudly.

“Can I go wake up Lulls and Bo now?” Astrid asks eagerly.

“You sure can!”

Giving up all stealth, Astrid bound up the stairs, flings open the kids’ bedroom door, and bellows, “IT’S CHRISTMAS!”

Javi wraps his arms around you. “You know I meant what I said, about you four being the greatest gift I could ask for.”

You lean into him. “The same goes for us, having you.” Then, your eyes drift to the tree with mild disapproval. “Maybe I should have told you that sooner, before you went overboard.”

He scoffs. “That wouldn’t have stopped me.”

“Not all of those things are going to fit in our apartment.”

He shrugs, unconcerned. “The overflow can stay at my place.”

Laughing, you give him a kiss. “Merry Christmas, Papá Noel.”

“Merry Christmas, mi luz,” he smiles. Then, a nagging question returns. “If werewolves are real, do you think Santa is, too?”

- - -

Thank you SO much for reading this story; I’d love to hear your thoughts! 🥰

Spanish Translations/Notes: Papá Noel - Santa Claus/Father Christmas Three Kings - the Three Wise Men from the birth story of Jesus; in many places in Spain, they bring gifts to children on January 6 and are celebrated with feasts and festivals niños - kids mi amor - my love mi luz - my light entremeses - Spanish charcuterie board, with foods like sausages, cheeses, pickles

Javi Gutierrez Masterlist

Werewolf Masterlist

[ghoulsghostsgoblins24]

The Babysitter

The Babysitter is a movie I never thought I would watch because I only heard bad things about it from my friends. But like many reviews I was pleasantly surprised by this film. 

One article I found disagrees with me and some of the audience. They say that the film's funny moments seem forced or dull but I honestly found them pretty up to date with today humor and culture.

Cole is this 12 year old kid who is kind of embarrassed about having a babysitter still. One night he decides to stay up past the time he is supposed to go to bed to really find out what his babysitter does when he is asleep. 

He only finds out the truth because he wants to know what his babysitter, Bee, does after he goes to bed. Before he goes to sleep she bribes him by giving him a shot. Cole here’s the doorbell rings and it is go time. He finds 6 teenagers playing soon the bottle, which ends in one of them being sacrificed. Cole is obviously scared by this because he thought she was normal. Before he runs back to his room he heard her say they need the blood of the innocent from upstairs, meaning him. 

Cole runs upstairs and calls the police but then says he needs to protect himself so he takes out his pocketknife. Everyone goes into his room one is worried that he is going to hear them. But remember that shot before he went to sleep, yup it was full of drugs but it’s a good thing he dumped it in the plant. One thing we find out about Cole in the beginning of the move is that he is terrified of needles. To get the blood from Cole instead of killing him they draw blood from him and he is forced to face his fear. As soon as Bee and friends leave his room he gets up and makes a rope from his sheets to get to the ground from his window. The camera pans back and of course Bee is standing right there watching him. But instead of him seeing her he looks at his wound from the needle and passes out. 

He wakes up and is tied to the chair with 5 of the teenagers surrounding him. The first question he asks is why is the jock of the group shirtless, this was to bring comedic relief into play. When questioning him the cops show up, of course it’s a classic that the cheerleader starts freaking out. The cops bust down the door but both of the cops end up dying. Before one of the cops died one of the shot the cheerleader and all she is worried about is her boob being shot and losing it. While everyone is paying attention to her Cole runs upstairs and they begin chasing him. One guy slips on the RC car Cole failed to pick up when his mom asked him to. Everything was perfectly placed the railings and the point glass award on the ground floor. 

Cole ends up in the garage looking for a weapon. He finds his weapon of choice, the Fat Dragon while is a firework in the shape of a rocket. He ends up trapped underneath the house with one of the girls and that is when he sets off the rocket. 

Throughout the entire movie is was very dark in almost every scene. Whenever there was a scene outside there was always a thick layer of fog on the ground. This brought the eerie feel to the move along with the chasing scenes and blood. But throughout the movie there were little jokes to liven up the darkness. 

The video clip I chose was when Cole was running from Bee one last time. During this you could see everything he was thinking about when he was being bullied, and his parents telling him sometimes things are scary. This scene shows that Cole is growing up and realizing that he can take care of himself and he is figuring out that he is stronger than the bullying and babying.

[noro-noro-noro]

ok the dream i had was like this:  1. i’m a hedge 2. i’m trying to keep the peace in this random ass family 3. restaurant?

took place at my mom's house at first. I was not a person I was an extension of the thorny hedge that grew all around the backyard, & thus I knew that it was malevolent & would take. there were people trying to cut through and investigate, but never during the day when it was safer, always at sunset when the fog rolled up like water. there were like 10 cats or small dogs owned by the house & they would all yowl at the fog as it lapped up around the back porch until some of them ended up in it. around this point the fog reached the hedge & I became a sentient person, so I came up and walked around the side of the house with the other 2 people to try & get inside before it got fully dark. the cats that were in the fog acted weird & had weird blue reflective eyes, so we had to keep them outsife. once we got inside thevibe changed.

it was some rich white family's house. they had 2+ kids & 2 younger step kids? some of them were almost as old as me i don't remember much about this part until it was revealed the white dad was cheating on his wife & said a lot of hurtful stuff to his non biological kids, the younger ones, so I yelled at him a lot & then asked the kids if they wanted to go out & get food with me & we could blaat some tunes. we briefly floated the idea of stealing one of the dad's expensive convertibles but decided not to since I didn't want to be resnsible for crashing a car idk how to drive. I went & asked the older kids if they wanted to go as well, & one did & rhe other one was Hubert from fire emblem who just wanted to lie under a blanket on the floor of an extremely messy room with tge lights off & smoke cigarettes. so okay.

we went out. I forgot that I wasn't a native of Colorado (?) so I was missing the shiny pebble from my inventory that would allow me to go to the place I was thinking of, which was like a drive through food court like 6 or 7 small restaurabts in a row, & you could drive through or park in their little lot .in another dream, I'd been here before, so it wasn't all new to me. anyway one of the people had his shiny pebble, so we went to the firwt place & idk the food but there was also an arcade game, similar to the PO3 section of inscryption. digital vibes & charge &all. 2 of the kids liked it but one did not. we kept frovjng through but despite supposing to be oprn 24/7 many of them were closed. oh well we drove through the back & ended up in some desert-like area. it had an eremite, specifically the geo one. we drove past him & decided it'd be fun to stargaze if we could find a place decently out of the city.

[bright-eyes-strawberry-lies]

Mrs. Chase is a fucking saint. She should be offered immortality for putting up with all the shit she does. In no particular order, here's some things Mrs. Chase just has to live with.

On their wedding night, Frederick confesses he's a virgin. But yes, Annabeth is his biological daughter. It's complicated. No, he won't explain further.

Speaking the name of Annabeth's mother will summon her so it's better if Mrs. Chase just doesn't know at all.

Her new stepdaughter is suddenly having frequent nightmares about spiders for no apparent reason and keeps saying there are cobwebs on her.

Strange people keep attacking Annabeth and Mrs. Chase's sons, but especially Annabeth, with alarming frequency. It's scaring Bobby and Matthew but if she keeps the kids separate, only Annabeth is a target.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY DO THEY KEEP ATTACKING HER STEPDAUGHTER?

Mrs. Chase has no clue what's going on and now her stepdaughter is talking about monsters and weird shit and Frederick do something about this. Frederick does not do anything about this.

Seriously why are these people going after Annabeth? Is it a trafficking ring? Did her mysterious mother who has not been named and is in no photographs put a hit out on her own daughter? WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

Annabeth ran away. Frederick does not file a police report.

Months (or years) later, they begin to get letters in the mail from Long Island saying that Annabeth is at some camp. Frederick asks her to come home.

Annabeth hates all of them and wants them all to die, including her father. She will not come home.

She does come home and the random attacks by random people start all over again but this time Annabeth has a dagger and SHE'S KILLING PEOPLE.

FREDERICK, I SAW THAT DAGGER! WHAT IS GOING ON? WHERE IS SHE HIDING THE BODIES? FREDERICK, DO SOMETHING.

Annabeth runs away again. Frederick still refuses to file a police report.

Annabeth decides to live with them again and this time they're driving up to the camp but they aren't allowed to actually visit the camp and see what kind of place it is. For some reason they can't seem to move past the giant pine tree and the valley is covered in fog.

"My mother gave me this cap," Annabeth says about the Yankee's cap. She doesn't let anyone near it. She won't tell Mrs. Chase what her mother's name is or when she saw this woman.

Sometimes Mrs. Chase cannot find Annabeth. She was right there.

A boy Annabeth's age and an older girl from Annabeth's mysterious camp come and pick her up for something but no one is saying what. Their eyes are shattered and almost seem to glow from within. Frederick doesn't ask where Annabeth is going or when she'll be back.

The same kids, plus one more who has a bow and arrow on her back, come back a while later to inform them that Annabeth is in terrible danger. They talk about battles like they were there. They say that they need to borrow the Chase's car.

Frederick agrees. Mrs. Chase calls the insurance company. By the time she's off the phone, Frederick tells her that he's going to take his plane out for a while. Just for a short flight. It has nothing to do with Annabeth. He has a belt of bronze bullets slung over his shoulder.

Frederick comes back. His plane has been damaged. The bullets are missing. He says Annabeth is fine. Annabeth does not come back for several more days.

She has a streak of white in her hair when she gets home.

Annabeth and her father get into fights about moving to California.

Even more people in California want to attack Annabeth. By now, Mrs. Chase has accepted that this is her life. She becomes a wine mom. She still doesn't know what Annabeth does with the bodies.

Annabeth runs away again several times. She comes back after a few days. There are tickets to New York stuffed in her shorts pockets. During summer, she goes back to New York to go to the camp. She laughs at the suggestion of attending a different camp in California.

Mrs. Chase does not know where the money for all these plane tickets is coming from. At this point, it's probably better not to ask.

A handsome young man with a scar on his face comes to the door asking for Annabeth. They sort of have the same facial structure but when asked if he's somehow related to Annabeth, he just sighs. Which isn't a no. He's carrying a sword. He and Annabeth fight when he asks her to run away with him. Shockingly, Annabeth refuses to run away for the first time in her life. He tells Annabeth to kill him. Shockingly, Annabeth refuses to kill someone for the first time in her life. The young man leaves. Mrs. Chase never sees him again.

When Mrs. Chase asks Frederick about the young man, he just tells her that he's one of Annabeth's mother's people. This does not clear anything up.

Annabeth's boyfriend - the one with the shattered eyes who asked to borrow the car - has disappeared under mysterious circumstances. No one is sure if he's dead or just missing. Annabeth refuses to come home when summer is over. It's been over a year since she's been home.

When Annabeth does finally come home, she looks like a walking corpse.

Frederick and Annabeth fly to Boston to look for Annabeth's cousin because he's apparently in danger. Magnus dies under mysterious circumstances and Frederick attends the funeral. Annabeth does not fly home with him because she is apparently doing important things with Magnus. Who is dead. Frederick, he's dead, what is she doing with him?

Annabeth finishes school and moves back to California (with her boyfriend who barely looks like a person anymore and no one should have eyes that broken) because apparently there is a camp there that she can live full-time at and it also has a college. The family can't visit her there because their type aren't allowed.

Mrs. Chase wonders if Annabeth is a white supremist or in a cult or both. The attacks on Bobby and Matthew have stopped completely. Frederick still writes letters to Annabeth but he doesn't see her even though she's within driving distance. His letters occasionally mention Magnus, the aforementioned dead cousin, who has somehow opened up a homeless shelter for teenagers called Chase Space despite being dead and only sixteen.

A search reveals no information about Chase Space's owners. The phone just rings endlessly when you dial the number. There is no listed address.

Mrs. Chase sits on a chair and stares into her wine glass. "This is fine," she says.

[pbandjesse]

I had a good day. I am very cozy right now and I feel happy. I feel excited for the wedding. And I feel excited for the week.

This does not mean I wasn't stressed at points. But that was thankfully not the entire day.

I slept alright. I don't remember my dreams from last night. Not like the night before when I had such vivid and intense dreams. Getting up was tough though. But I got up and my hand hurt but I was in a good mood. I loved my outfit. I don't think the picture James got of me was a great one but it was still really cozy and this sweater is so soft.

We packed up the car and went to get breakfast. Because I was running the market today I had to be there early but that was fine. James helped me get everything over and then it was just. Very busy.

I had a lot to do. Setting up. Both my tables and my printing stuff. And people would take me up on that which was cool.

But there was a ton happening today. The kids fair, the bat box guy, there was a boat race, and music, and even Batman was there?? So it was a lot. But it was fun!

There were a few small issues. The wind was pretty bad and people kept wanting the sides down which I'm fine with but then the boat race asked for a path so to leave some open. And then I had to move two venders around and one was very much not happy with me. But I was able to fix it and everyone seemed pretty happy in the end.

It was cold though. I am glad James told me to bring a jacket. And I had fun regardless. My face just got a little wind burnt. I worked a lot on my circle loom and it was great. I also did get to print with a few people. When the bat box guy came, his name is Chris, I told him people could come and print words on their boxes with me and that ended up being so super cute. People were awesome today.

I didn't sell much. I decided my small knit bears should be half price because they are a little funny. And I sold 3. Plus I got $10 in tips for the printing. So honestly it wasn't a bad day. Especially since I got paid to be there today I wasn't to upset.

At 1 everyone packed up. There had been some confusion when someone parked where the venders load in and out and we didn't know who they were and I was like. Okay I am in charge so I will go check in. And it ended up being a venders mom who was here to get her so no problem at all. All good.

I got lots of hugs and congratulations and good luck about the wedding. I struggled to pack the car a little because something went in on the wrong order so the trunk wouldn't close and I had to take everything out and start over. And the parking lot was a little wild so having all my shit on the ground was not ideal.

But I packed it up and locked the car and headed inside to teach James the cannery.

James had to put a few fires out with an event but I ended up running around helping Angie and answering some questions for a few minutes. And then we headed to the cannery.

It was really fun showing them everything. I decided to both give instructions for our small adult cannery, as well as for a regular kids one. So James can help out during the school year. And it went great. It took a little less then an hour to do the entire run through. Srt up, program, breakdown, issues you could have, how to fix them, and the choosing of who our dads will be so they don't have to go up stairs much.

I also showed them how to make a chase and we set it up for our group. I felt great about it and I'm really excited to get to do this with James and our family.

I was really tired after this. I gave James a smooch and headed home. I was a little bit driving in a fog. But I got home safely and everything was good.

When I got home I struggled with the stuff I brought in from the car plus two packages and I ended up breaking my nail and when I say I was devastated, I am not exaggerating. I just want to have nice nails for the wedding!! So instead of ripping the rest off I super glued it?? It seemed to have worked but I did it over my nail polish so I don't know if it will hold but my nail seems like. Really stiff and strong so I guess we'll see what happens.

I had lunch and chatted with Jess and realized I needed to lay down.

I got cozy in bed and waited for James to come home. And when they got back they laid with me until I fell asleep.

I woke up at 6 and was a little distressed. My allergies had kicked up and my nose was so dry I barely got any oxygen for my whole nap and it was nice fun to be awake. But slowly I got it together. And me and James got to work.

We cut all our stickers out and while James made us dinner I stuck 100 stickers to 100 matchbooks. And I am thrilled with how they came out. This was such a good idea. We did print to many stickers but I figure we can just have them in the table too like confetti.

After we finished that me and James both worked on editing our vows. This is a funny thing because I had written then forever ago and was like. Okay! Knocked that off the list!

But now that it's almost here I'm like. Nervous!! Like self conscious. I have read them so many times at this point and I am afraid that they seemed to generic. Not personal enough. Which is fair because I have read so many others that I have taken good phrases.

So last night at midnight I started editing and taking stuff out and adding jokes and trying to make them more. Authentic feeling.

But there were still two paragraphs I wasn't thrilled with. Something was off.

So me and James both worked on our vows. James ended it scrapping half of there and I sent mine to Callie to get feedback after some changes. And honestly it think it's much better. Could it be even better? Probably but also it is already 550 words and I didn't want it to be longer then a page. I will probably look over it again this week but I'm happy.

Callie said it was good. And we discussed how I wrote it with declarative thesis statements and 3 supporting sentences. That I approached it like a paper. She thought that was very funny.

I got a shower and tried not to pick at my face. I have a new little psoriasis on my upper lip and I am trying hard to leave it alone but my hands keep finding it. Hopefully it settles quickly.

Now me and James are in bed. It is chilly but in a nice way. Tomorrow there are chores to do. And then I am working an event tomorrow. Which is a wedding apparently! James just told me. I didn't think I was doing another wedding before my own but I am. It will be nice to have one more.

I hope I get good sleep tonight and wake up with so much energy tomorrow. Wish me luck. Goodnight everyone!!

[mushtoons]

Ghost story 👀? Would you be interested in sharing 👀👀?

okay so!! i got one that happened during the ghosting hours!! that i remember right off the bat that is,,

one legit haunts me, now for the record ik i already look like some nut, but i swear on my life im not fucking around, so this happened a little almost a year ago, i had just got off work and my friend and my brother picked me up, we drove around went to a few gas stations we were having a good time! we all were off that weekend and wanted to hang out so we werent in a rush to get home, well we're on the highway, almost to the exit to get to my house, we're jamming to music singing off key, stupid shit, to clarify none of us were drunk or anything we're just naturally stupid, but as we're going it starts to get really foggy but we ignore it until its almost time to turn for my exit (again i swear its gonna sound like im fucking crazy or making this shit up) but in the distance we can see something tall, like tree size tall, and for a split second i thought it was that a tree, but then a car going the opposite way on the other side of the highway passes and i can feel the moment everyone in the car saw it, it was like dhjdjdjd how tf do i explain this it was like a huge lanky black silhouette in the fog, and all the light did was show its hand as it swung by its side walking across the highway, ik i wasnt seeing shit because my brother and my friend started screaming a split second before i did and we watched as it crossed and didnt pay it a second glance as she floored it and we booked it to my house, again we were almost qt my exit so it took like 3 mins to get to my house with the fact we stopped at no stop sign and were going like 50 in a 30, at this point we're all crying and shaking and we fight each other to get into the house (yes we love each other but fuck that shit fight or flight was going strong) and we all start talking at once and i, the big strong manly man i am, wanted my mom so i pull out my phone to call her but i see im on call with 911 (ik i couldnt have butt dialed because i keep my screen facing out in my pocket becaude of that exact reason) and the lady is trying to calm us down saying she heard screaming and i was lied saying "oh no we just almost hit a deer" and hung up and now we're freaking out over that too cuz wtf wtf wtf why was 911 on the phone?? i call my mom she tries to calm us down but i say fuck this that was too close to my house im going to yalls so we packup my an overnight bag, and speed off to their house which is luckily the opposite way the thing went, as we drive we get to her city and see that every. fucking. light. was off like in this whole ass city maybe a handfull were on and there wasnt any cars out, so as our paranoid asses make it to their house we curl up together on a pallet in the floor and that was the end of that, we still talk about it and ive moved from that house because if scary movies thought me anything is that we aint gonna fuck around and find out

[phantom-curve]

Second birthday is such a cool thing to call that! 8 or 35 if you are feeling so inclined.

Thank you! When I was a kid my mom always tried to call it my rebirth-day and I was like no❤️ I went with some Willex whump (with a fluffy end) for this one! Set in the gimme a chance AU, featuring pro-skateboarder Willie and anxious Alex. This is also a bit of a companion piece to the #8 prompt I wrote earlier!

#35: kissing their bruises and scars (Trigger Warning: mentions of injury, mild description of panic attack, and mentions of a car accident. Rated T for language) 

Alex generally tried not to think about worst case scenarios when Willie was competing. If he let himself, it was way too easy to imagine all types of situations that ended with Willie broken and bleeding at the base of a halfpipe while Alex stood helplessly on the sidelines. It didn’t help anything for him to obsess over what could happen, especially because at this point, Alex knew skateboarding was as much a part of Willie as drumming was a part of him.

It was just that ever since Willie had gotten his first sponsorship and moved to the pro circuit six months ago, he had started taking bigger risks. More complex tricks and a lot less hesitation to go big when he was representing the brands that were paying his bills. And that meant longer hours practicing and a higher chance of injury on a daily basis. Alex wanted to be a supportive boyfriend, the kind that would show up at the skate park to cheer and not have a panic attack every time that Willie wiped out, but he wasn’t. He was just an anxious guy in love with a dude who seemed determined to break every single bone in his body.

Things only got worse when Willie started traveling for competitions. He was gone almost every weekend, and Luke had finally convinced the manager at the bar he worked at to let Sunset Curve preform regular Saturday shows, and so, more often than not, Willie would be somewhere else in California flinging his body down an insanely tall ramp with nothing but a helmet and some pads to protect him while Alex was trapped in LA losing himself in the familiar pattern of sticks against drums in an attempt to control his raging anxiety. It had about a 68% success rate. That success rate increased dramatically when Willie called Alex the second he knew his set was ending. It plummeted on the nights Alex didn’t hear from him until much later, or worse, heard from a different skater entirely.

Tonight was unfortunately one of those nights.

When their set ended, Reggie called out the same line he had coined after their first performance, a couple audience members chiming in with him because they actually had a bit of a fan following now, and Alex wasted no time in grabbing his phone from the fanny pack he kept behind his kit during shows. Instead of it lighting up with a picture of his boyfriend’s face, he was met with a series of missed calls and text messages from the guys Willie was rooming with for the weekend. He tried not to panic, tried to breathe in deeply to a count of five, holding it for just as long before exhaling again. It kept the anxiety at bay for as long as it took for him to unlock the phone and read the last missed message.

Don’t worry, bro. They’re gonna airlift him back to LA so you can just meet him at the hospital whenever.

Panic hit full force. What the actual fuck had happened to his boyfriend?! Alex’s fingers were shaking too much for him to open the other messages, his vision going blurry and a distant ringing sounding out in his ears. It took him longer than it should to realize Luke was crouched down in front of him, Reggie hovering just beyond the drum kit.

“You have to breathe, Lex. C’mon, follow me.”

Luke inhaled deeply before letting his breath out in a loud woosh. Alex tried to copy him, but his chest felt too tight, his throat closing in the more he tried to open it. Luke kept talking, his voice low and calm.

“Try again, we can do it together. We just have to breathe, nothing else.”

Alex inhaled with Luke that time, not quite as deeply and not quite as steady, but more air than he had managed to get before. It took several long moments before he was able to match Luke completely, the fog starting to clear from his brain, surroundings snapping back into focus.

“Great, good, just keep breathing, okay? I’m gonna go grab the office keys and we’ll take a minute in there to talk, okay?”

Alex nodded, not exactly wanting Luke to leave but knowing whatever his best friend was saying logically made sense. Reggie slipped into the space Luke had been occupying, breathing in the exact same pattern, and Alex refocused on him. When Reggie stood, Alex copied him, reaching out to grip the back of Reggie’s red flannel as he led them both off of the stage and down the hallway to the office in the back of the bar. Alex dropped onto the couch, burying his face in his hands.

“Lex? Can you tell us what’s going on?”

Reggie’s voice was soft and quiet, like a gentle melody. Alex let it wash over him, knew his boys would be able to help if he could just figure out how to get his mouth to form the words it desperately didn’t want to say out loud. He fought to speak for a few moments before finally just thrusting his phone forward. A hush fell over the room as Luke and Reggie scrolled through the texts and Alex was suddenly grateful that he wouldn’t have to read through them himself. After what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few minutes, Luke cleared his throat and spoke.

“Okay, so good news or bad news first?”

“How can there possibly be good news?”

Alex’s throat felt raw and scratchy, the words coming out broken and strangled. Luke and Reggie exchanged a quick glance before Reggie sat next to Alex on the couch. Not touching, but close enough for Alex to feel comforted all the same.

“Willie isn’t dead or dying, so yes, there is good news. Which one do you want first?”

A significant amount of the panic left Alex’s system at the reassurance that his boyfriend was alive and going to stay that way for the time being. It hit him all at once, sending him into Reggie’s side as he let out a cry of relief. Reggie’s hand stroked up and down Alex’s arm, a low hum sounding in the back of his throat. Luke spoke again.

“Okay, so good news is that Willie is probably already back in LA, he’s at the best hospital he can be at, and he’s going to be fine.”

Alex clung to the words like a life raft. Willie was going to be fine. He turned it into a mantra, repeating it over and over again until he felt like he was back in control, no longer on the precipice of drowning. He disentangled himself from Reggie’s arms, took a deep breath, and met Luke’s gaze.

“I’m ready. Gimme the bad news.”

Luke let out a long breath before sitting down on Alex’s other side.

“The guys were in a car accident. They didn’t even make it to the competition. Willie was in the passenger seat and he took the worst hit in the collision. The other guys got taken to a local hospital, but they had to send Willie to Cedars-Sinai because of some special orthopedic department there. Max said they mentioned he would be admitted to the post-trauma floor.”

A car accident. He didn’t even make it to the competition. Alex had considered himself prepared for the worst when it came to Willie and his chosen profession. He had told himself that loving Willie meant accepting the risk that came with skateboarding, especially at the level that Willie did it. He had not once considered the fact that Willie could be hurt in some type of freak accident that had nothing to do with skating. The life raft slipped from his mental fingers, hurtling him back into the sea of despair once again.

“We got this, okay?” Luke was still speaking. “Reg is gonna call an Uber and take you to the hospital, and I’m gonna get Dante and Felix to help pack up stuff here and then come meet you. It’s gonna be okay.”

Luke’s words painted a path for Alex to follow, a way to move forward without having to fight so hard to do so. He nodded, allowed himself to be bundled out of the employee entrance and into the car Reggie had called. Clung to Reggie’s flannel again as they traversed the white hallways of the hospital, eventually making their way to a nurse’s station situated on the post-trauma surgical floor. Alex didn’t even let himself think about what that string of words implied. Not until Reggie nudged him forward to speak with the blonde-haired woman with kind brown eyes sitting behind the welcome desk. He forced himself to clear the lump in his throat and scrape some words together.

“Hi, I’m uh, my name is Alex. Alex Mercer? I’m looking for my boyfriend Willie? William, actually, his name is William Stewart. He was...he was in a car crash.”

The words came out in starts and stops, cracking at the edges as Alex forced them through numb lips. The nurse nodded, her fingers tapping across the keyboard in a sharp staccato.

“He’s out of surgery, but might still be a bit groggy. The limit is one visitor at a time, so your friend will have to wait out here.”

Alex turned to Reggie with a blank stare.

“You got this, Lex. Remember, he’s gonna be fine. I’ll be right here, and Luke is on his way too. Whatever you need, okay? We got you.”

Alex nodded even though the movement itself felt like a lie. The nurse smiled softly at him and for one split moment Alex wished he could call his mom, hear her comforting voice the way he used to when he was a scared little kid. But he had Luke and Reggie now. And Willie, who was alive somewhere in this hospital.

“He’s in room 604, just down the hall.”

Alex forced his feet to move. Forced himself to count the numbers on the wall until he found 604. Forced himself to open the door and enter the room.

Willie looked so small on the bed, his dark hair a mess across the stark white pillowcase, his leg encased in plaster and suspended from some contraption that hung down from the ceiling. He turned his head at the noise of the door opening, eyes half open and soft with sleep or maybe painkillers. The smile on his face was a mere shadow of its normal sunshine.

“Hey, Hotdog.”

Alex wanted to cry. He wanted to scream and curl into a ball and absolutely lose it. But instead, he walked to the side of Willie’s bed and sat down in the chair next to it that seemed to have been waiting just for him.

“Have you been crying? Please tell me you weren’t crying.”

Okay, Willie was definitely on drugs. Because of course, Alex had been crying.

“Yes, I’ve been crying! Are you kidding me?”

Willie winced slightly and Alex was instantly swamped with guilt.

“No, okay, let me try that again.”

He took a deep breath and reached up to brush a few stray hairs away from Willie’s face. There were a number of cuts and bruises marring his skin, a few of them hidden under bandages.

“Hey pretty boy, I’m so glad you’re not dead. I’ve never been more scared than when I saw that text from Max. I thought you cracked your head open on a halfpipe or something, what the hell happened?”

Willie tried to shrug and grimaced, like it hurt. Alex’s hands fluttered uselessly above his boyfriend’s body, unsure where would be safe to touch. He settled for grabbing the hand that Willie offered which was thankfully unmarked, nothing but some leftover scars from catching himself at the skatepark.

“I think our car flipped? There was a lot of crashing and my leg really fuckin hurt. It’s still hurts.”

Willie frowned, clearly addled from the leftover anesthesia and whatever they were giving him for the pain. Alex pulled his hand up to press a series of kisses across Willie’s knuckles, making sure to cover each scar at least once.

“You can’t die on me, Wills. I fucking love you, okay? I know you do insane stunts and regularly let yourself get beat to crap at the skate park, but you can’t fucking die on me in some stupid car accident. I’d lose my goddamn mind without you.”

“You love me?”

Willie’s voice was soft and awed and Alex suddenly realized he hadn’t ever actually said those words out loud before even though they’d been living in his brain for months now. When he looked into Willie’s eyes he saw a hint of wetness there, and his heart melted.

“Yes, I love you, you fucking dork. I’ve been in love with you for months.”

Willie grinned, dopey eyed and pink cheeked.

“Well, I’ve been in love with you for like, ever. So, I win. Gimme a kiss for my prize.”

Alex laughed and rolled his eyes, but obliged, nonetheless. Willie might not remember this interaction, but Alex would never forget it. A look of absolute peace settled onto his boyfriend’s face.

“I knew you’d come. I knew as soon as that car hit us that when I woke up, you’d be here. You’re the best boyfriend ever, that’s why I love you. And you’re so hot. Like, really hot.”

Alex’s cheeks burned, his heart kicking into overdrive.

“C’mere,” Willie nodded his head to the side and tried to shuffle over, like he was inviting Alex to climb in next to him. He made a disgruntled sound when the contraption his leg was in refused to budge, frowning up at the suspension system.

“That’s so lame, what the fuck? I wanna cuddle.”

And Alex, unable to resist even when he knew it would probably be better for Willie if he did, climbed up to wedge his body into the small space between Willie and the guardrails on his bed. He tucked one arm behind Willie’s head, pulling his face into the space between his neck and shoulder. Willie let out a contented sigh, his breath sending shivers down Alex’s spine.

“You smell like you,” Willie whispered, the sound happy and relaxed. “I love you, Lex.”

“I love you, too.” Alex sighed, kissing his way across every single cut and bruise he could reach without moving.

Willie settled into place, his body going lax and soft snores sounding out against Alex’s chest within moments. Alex let his own head fall to rest against the top of Willie’s, finally allowing himself to believe everything would be okay. When the same nurse came to tell him that his other friend had arrived and maybe it would be best to come back in the morning, he accepted it without complaint. She gave him a final moment to say goodnight, Alex taking the time to make sure Willie was tucked in tight before kissing his temple softly.

Willie was going to be okay, and Alex was going to spend the rest of his life making sure he was always the one there to kiss his scrapes and bruises.

Send me prompts for my second birthday!

[asimpforarmin]

Not so Safe? 💛

Content: Armin Arlert x Reader, Modern AU, two dorks being awkward

Summary: You and Armin go to the beach during quarantine as a way to get away from the stressors of life, keeping safe during it.

WC: 2,123

Genre: fluff?? maybe i guess. Wholesome stuff.

Warnings: None

A/n: This is my first fic on this account and also the first one I’ve written in a long time, so this might be bad, idk. Btw check out this playlist: https://youtu.be/1_2lm4tS9N4 It’s really nice and I listened to it while working on this. Ok bye-

You were bored, just slouching in bed late at night waiting for something to happen. Since quarantine hit, you really haven’t been able to see your friends, well not without a screen. You’ve been keeping up with your closest friends, Connie, Sasha, and Armin, and playing Minecraft with them when you don’t have (or don’t do) your schoolwork. You’ve been missing actually hanging out with them though.

So you decided to group message them about it, see if they wanted to go do something, taking safety precautions of course. Turns out Sasha’s mom wouldn’t let her go anywhere because she was worried for her, and Connie was staying with family out of state. But Armin could come.

You moved to private messages to talk to Armin about it, so you don’t spam the group chat or make Sasha and Connie jealous.

“Hey, are you free on Friday?” you asked.

You quickly saw him typing back to you, “Sorry, no, but I can do something on Wednesday or Thursday.”

You sat up a bit, “Alright, either one works for me.” You had that equivalent of awkward silence between texts where neither of you know what to say. “Which one do you prefer?”

He responds after a moment of thinking. “Wednesday’s fine. What do you wanna do?”

You thought it over for a moment, not actually expecting to get this far. “I know that ice cream shop down the road’s open. We could get some ice cream and head down to the beach for a while and just screw around if you want.”

“Sure. Which ice cream shop again?” He questioned. Armin lived not too far from you and had been over a couple times.

“That one we pass when you come over. Taking a right from my house it’s on that corner, a few shops down from the gas station.”

“Oh that one! Ok.” He responded.

“Did you get your bike fixed?” You asked. You all had bikes and would go places on them before the whole virus thing happened. Thing is, Connie crashed into Armin after hitting a pothole and totaled his front spokes.

“Yeah, it’s all ready to go. Do you have a cooler?”

“I know there’s one somewhere in the garage that I can find and clean out.”

“Alright, I’ll see you Wednesday?”

“Definitely.”

You were excited to see at least one of your close friends during the pandemic. You set your alarm for tomorrow, which was Monday. You only had to wait until Wednesday to see him.

~~~~~

Wednesday rolled around soon enough and you had just finished the last of today’s schoolwork. You packed up a backpack with some extra snacks, water, and some bandages in case either of you fall.

You texted Armin “Hey, where do you wanna meet?”

“I can just meet you at the ice cream place if you want.”

“You sure? That's kinda far from where you are.”

“I’ll be fine, it's not terribly far.”

“Alright, well I’ll see you there.”

“Cya,” he signed off.

You put your phone in your backpack, before dusting off that old cooler, filling it with ice, and putting it in your bike basket. You set out for the shop feeling good. You haven’t been outside in a while, and feeling the wind against your skin felt perfect.

You went down the road a ways, pulling up into the shop’s parking lot. You pulled your bike over and leaned it against the curb with the kickstand, and waited for Armin.

About 10 minutes later, the blond comes into view, pulling into the lot, spotting you, and heading over. You look up at him, pulling your mask up as he does the same. He wipes his brow as he’s hauling his bike over. “Hey, how are you?” he asks, looking down and putting his kickstand to the curb.

Your smile, “Good, how about you?” In all honesty you were great now that he’s here. You haven’t seen him in person for around 11 months and you’ve missed him.

He looked back up at you and you could tell he was smiling even under his mask.

“I’m fine, happy to be outside,” he sighed.

“Hey, your hair’s a little longer,” you pointed out.

He blushed a tiny bit, “I’ve only gotten it cut once during this and now since everything’s reopening, my mother’s scared to take me to get it cut again. The only reason she let me come on this trip was because it’s contactless.”

“I see, well either way it looks cute,” you reassured him.

He let out a small laugh, “Thanks.”

“Anyways,” you say, going up to the front of the building, “what flavor do you want?” You put some gloves on before reaching for your wallet.

“I’ll just have the cookie dough.” Armin pulls out his phone to pay that way.

“Hey, I can pay for both of us if you want,” you say, looking over at Armin.

“It’s fine, I have my own money,” he politely declines.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s my pleasure,” you say, taking money out of your wallet, enough for the two of you. “What size do you want?”

He puts his phone back into his pocket, looking up at the size chart. “I’ll just have a medium.” You nod and go up to tell the person at the counter your orders. A few minutes later, your orders are in the window. You hand the cashier the money, then take off your gloves and grab your ice creams. You put the bowls in Tupperware and then in the cooler.

“You ready to go?” You ask Armin. He nods, clicking his helmet back into place and getting on his bike. You get back on your bike too and the both of you head out.

It’s another 10 minutes before you get to the beach. It isn’t the best weather for this kind of visit. It’s overcast and a little bit foggy, but it’s still a nice place to hang out.

The both of you lock your bikes up and take your ice cream out of the cooler. You hand Armin his dessert and open your own.

“Wish the weather was better,” you commented, looking up at the grey sky.

“Well if the sky’s not clear, that means less people will come,” Armin points out, looking over at you. You nod and look around for a spot to sit down. “We could go over there,” Armin suggests. He’s pointing at a couple boulders decently spaced apart up on the hill away form everything.

“Ok,” you say. You both start going over. There’s no one else at the beach besides a few random people chilling at the shoreline. Armin hops up on the boulder to the right and you get on the left one.

“Thanks for paying for this,” Armin sheepishly says, taking a bite.

“It’s no problem, I’m happy to,” you say. God, you wish you could hug him. Quarantine’s been horrible to your social interaction, plus you may have an inkling of attraction to him. Even to just hold his hand would be ethereal. But you can’t. You need to stay safe, and you don’t know if he feels the same about you.

“So, um, how’s your week been so far?” He inquires.

“It’s been okay. Hating school as usual, but besides that I’ve had a good time keeping up with you all,” you say.

He takes another bite before speaking, “If you want, I could help you out with your work if you’re having trouble.” This wasn’t the first time he offered, but you felt like too much for agreeing last time.

“I’ll think about it, I’m managing alright for now though. How about you? How’s quarantine been treating you?” You ask him.

“I’ve been able to keep up with things for the most part, but it does get tiring. It’s good to finally get out of the house again.” You nod and both of you just sit there for a moment, eating and looking out at the ocean. You couldn’t see that far out because of the fog, but what you could see was nice.

The waves slowly crashed against the sand and rocks while you heard gulls above you. You cherished this moment, as simple as it is. Even if your feelings were unmatched, he was still your best friend. You get butterflies whenever he’s around. He makes you happy and anxious in the best ways possible.

Armin looks up before taking out his phone. “Looks like it’s supposed to rain in a bit.”

“That’s a bummer, I wish we could stay out here longer,” you say.

“We can always come back. I’m still free tomorrow.” You perked up at his suggestion.

“Same, we can do that,” you quickly reply. He nods his head in agreement.

“Same time?”

“Sure.” You both went back to eating for a moment. “We should  do this more. This is fun.”

“I do quite like this. It’s relaxing to take a break every now and then,” he says.

The two of you keep talking, about home, friends, hobbies, school, etc, when you felt a raindrop on your cheek. You look over at Armin, who looks up at the rain.

“Guess it’s time to go,” he says, slightly frowning. You stand up, getting the trash from your ice cream and start walking over to the trash can. It’s under one of those buildings that look like metal car awnings, but with benches and the board that shows the directory and rules of the beach. Armin follows suit.

“We really should have checked the weather,” you say, disposing of your trash, “I don’t feel comfortable with either of us biking in the rain on the road like this.”

Armin throws his trash away, “We’ll be okay, it’s not a whole lot,” he says. “Besides, you can call someone if you don’t feel comfortable.”

You sit down on a bench, looking on your phone. “Looks like it’s not supposed to stay for too long. We could just stay here for a while if you’re okay with it.” He sits down next to you and nods. He looks between you two and sees the small gap.

“Sorry,” he says as he moves further away.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you say. You want to tell him how you feel, you really do, but if he doesn’t feel the same, you’re afraid things won’t go back to normal.

You start to say his name at the same time he speaks, which causes you to both chuckle. “You go first,” he says.

“Go ahead, I’ve already forgotten what I was saying.”

“That quickly?” he smiles.

“Apparently.”

“Well I- I don’t know how to put this properly, but…”

“But what?”

“I want to do this more often, and I know you already said that but I really miss hanging out with you.” He looks over at you, waiting for your reaction.

“I miss you too,” you say. You felt your cheeks darken as your face warmed up. You look over at him, he was just the same as you. That gave you the confidence you needed. “I really like you, Armin.”

He looks up at you suddenly, “You mean like, more than friends?” he asks you nervously.

“Yeah. More than friends. I have for a while but I just haven’t said anything.” You look away until he says something, not wanting to face him as he’s making up his mind, but he answers almost immediately.

“I do too! I- I mean I just didn’t say anything because I wasn’t sure if you felt the same.” You felt your breath hitch in your throat, wanting to say something, but you just didn’t have the right words.

“Well, um, we should definitely do this more often then,” you finally say, giving him a smile.

“Do you uh, want to hold hands?” he asks shyly.

“Should we?”

“It’ll be fine as long as we wash our hands when we get home.” You nodded and stuck out your hand. He took it as he moved a bit closer to you.

You two just sat there for a moment, taking everything in. The rain, each other, the sounds coming from the road. Even though it seemed so new, it felt good. It felt right. Armin started speaking again, talking about how he’s been thinking of this moment for a long time. You smiled and continued the conversation for a decent half hour, still clasping hands.

You finally heard the rain let up and the sun began to shine through the clouds.

“You want to go down to the shore for a bit now?” You asked him.

“Of course,” he said. You got up, taking him by the hand down the hill.

[6knotty6thotty6]

So a couple of months ago, I saw a YouTube video that was an audio recording of season 5, episode 6 of Bojack Horseman, “Free Churro.” In the episode, the main character, Bojack Horseman, spends 20 minutes giving a eulogy at his mother’s funeral. There’s one big problem though, his mother was an abusive bitch. His eulogy is him trying to contemplate what she meant by her drying words, “I see you,” and whether or not she loved him. As someone who has a dead parent who was abusive, this is probably my favorite episode of any show ever for how much it helped me understand my feelings. The comments section is filled with people sharing their pain with their abusive families, but one comment stood out to me above all the others by how raw and relatable it was. This comment was by a YouTuber named Moonstruck. At the bottom of this post is a link to her channel. Please support her. After reading this, she deserves a million subscribers. Also please watch Bojack Horseman. (I corrected some of the grammatical errors to make it easier to read)

Disclaimer: Child abuse, bullying, trauma, and mental health:

Moonstruck: 

This is a great monologue, but one part of it, in particular, really caught my attention was the 'grand gesture' bit.

When I was a kid, I read this book called "Chicken Soup for the Soul." There's a shitload of them. I don't remember which particular one it was. I hated the whole series because it's just someone profiting off a bunch of other people's stories rather than trying to write their own, in my opinion. 

Anyway.

This one story that I remember, the ONLY one I remembered,  was sent in by a little girl. She wrote about how her father never told her that he loved her. He never once, in her whole life, said the words "I love you." I don't remember her mom being mentioned, maybe she was dead; it doesn't matter. The point is her dad was basically an emotionless asshole. Well, one day, this girl gets sick. Really sick. Possibly on her deathbed sick. She wrote that one day she woke up to find a necklace sitting on her nightstand that had a pendant that looked like her dog. She said she held it to her heart and cried because that necklace said all the things her father never had.

I thought, "What a load of bullshit."

A cheap trinket doesn't make up for years and years of emotional neglect. Anyone can buy a thing and toss it your way. Hell, he didn't even hand it to her himself, just left it there for her to find if/when she woke up, then left her alone again to possibly die.

A lot of people say that actions speak louder than words, in cases like political protests and shit. While that's true, scenarios that this that girl are different. Gifts can never replace the words, "I love you."

When I was a kid, my father never told me he loved me. My mother didn't either, but she's a whole other kettle of fish. I would say 'my biological mother or father,' but I never got adopted ones, so who gives a shit. Anyway. My father was rarely around, and when he was, he just spent the entire time fighting with my mother and leaving again. He would do and say anything that could get him to spend less time in the house with her. With us. I can't blame him. If I could've left during those times, I would have. I tried more than once. I even earned the nickname 'runaway' from a family friend because of it. 

I was told that I was worthless as early as I could understand words. I don't know what it is about me that set my mother off, but she HATED me. I was always told how expensive I was to keep alive and how I wasn't worth it. If I dared ask for anything, she would remind me how much she spent just to keep me from starving to death and that it was too much already. On the rare occasion I was given something, it was so she could use it as a threat. She was like, "Sure, you can have that toy horse since we got your sister a real one, but you better behave or we'll give it to her and let her break it." Or "Oh, fine, we can keep this dog as a FAMILY pet (NOT YOURS), but if you do something we don't like, we'll take it away and kill it." 

Oh, yeah. I have a sister. She’s cut from the same cloth as our mother. I don't consider any of them family anymore. She was two years older than me. She was the "we should have stopped while we were ahead" kid. Anything she wanted, she got. 

"Mom, can I have an award-winning horse and expensive dressage lessons?"

"Sure!"

"Mom, can I have a car?"

"No problem!"

"Mom, can you pay for my ballet lessons?"

"Absolutely!"

She was the golden child. The one that could do no wrong and wasn't a mistake. Even after she totaled her car, got arrested for an underage DUI, and got pregnant three times in high school, she was still the good one. I never even asked to go to school dances, parties, or go out with the one friend I had. My sister liked to see me in pain. She'd tell our mom that I did things just to get me in trouble. Whether it involved blaming me for things she did or fabricating stuff, she'd say whatever it took to get my mother to beat me while she watched and laughed. Oh, yeah, our mom was BIG on physical punishment. I've been whipped with everything from a riding crop, a wooden paddle, spoons, and especially belts. Anything that was close at hand when my mother got irritated, I've been hit with it. 

At one point, my sister had three tall, beautiful show-worthy horses. I was allowed to keep a sickly old pony for all of a week before she was taken away, then I'd get called ungrateful for asking why we had to get rid of HER instead of one of the horses. Even though my mother said it cost too much to keep them all. With horses being obviously too rich for my blood, I asked for something cheaper, and for once, I got it. I was given a baby goat that one of our neighbors' goats had abandoned for being too weak, and they didn't have time to raise. I loved that goat. I bottle raised him, and named him Ben. He was my best friend for a while. When he grew up, he got so big that I was able to stand on his back to grab tree branches and pull them down so he could eat the leaves. I walked him on a leash like a dog every day. I loved him so much. My mother had me enter him in a show, and we won ninth place! I was thrilled to have something to show against my sister's collection of dressage show ribbons. I finally had proof that I could do something right! Sure, the prize money was taken away from me, but I still had Ben.

But Ben didn't come home with me after the show. It turns out he was sold to a slaughterhouse because that show was for meat goats. I didn't know until he was already gone. Of course, my mother punished me for being upset and even forced me to write a thank-you card to the people who bought his meat. 

My mother was always like that. Anything I loved was used as a threat. I eventually accepted that loving anything was a waste of time. I learned to detach myself from my feelings, and I got really good at it. I can completely turn off my emotional reaction to anything. One time I had to put down one of the egg-laying hens at work that got too sick to save, and I felt nothing while bringing down the ax. When I lost out on a job that could have changed my life, I told myself how stupid it was to hope for anything good. Any positive emotion I felt got me punished, so I learned to feel nothing at all. To this day, I still have trouble feeling things, even when I want to. I'm taking pills now, and they help, sometimes. 

I've had several suicide attempts. I keep a box of razor blades in my desk just to have them close. I got a tattoo of a heart with rainbows on my wrist. Partially for LGBT solidarity, but mostly to remind myself that there is still beauty in the world. I still struggle with wonder if I actually believe it or not. 

I've tried so hard to be a good kid. I never partied, never drank, never smoked even when the chances were there, and I would have greatly loved anything to make the pain stop or even just dull it a little bit. I was in the gifted and talented program at school and was able to graduate at fifteen. For a while, I was sent to a children's home where I was passed around to many people I didn't know, including a clown who I may or may not have actually been related to, until I eventually wound up out here where I am now. It's all pretty hazy, and the details get scrambled. 

It's been 10 years since I've had contact with my mother and sister. I can't even keep in touch with the one friend I had, even after I lived with her. She's tried to reach out to me, but I just… can't. I try, but I can't. Sometimes, I can almost pretend that my past wasn't real. It's just a hazy fog that isn't really there. I want to believe that if I don't allow something, or someone, who was part of that past, someone tangible and real, into my life again, then the fog will go away. This is why I can't do it. I know I'm a terrible friend. Ariel, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. You're better off without me in your life anyway. 

I typed all of this out because sometimes, about fifty dollars or so shows up in my PayPal from my father's email address. I don't know if it's from him or from her using his email, but it doesn't matter either way. The point is I know my mother is the one sending the money.

I know my mother likes to think she's a good person. She went to church every Sunday, and probably still does. She organized a lot of church events and participated in every church function. I had to be an altar server for several years until I aged out of it and was in the choir. She kept going to that church even after the priest got drunk, called me many horrible names in front of everyone, and was revealed to be a pedophile that raped a little boy at gunpoint. She probably still goes to that same church and organizes things. She likes being in charge. She likes having people look at her and say, "That there is a good person."

But are you, though, Mom? Are you really a good person? Were you a good person when you hit me? When you lied to me? When you laughed with my sister about how much I got hurt for things I didn't do? Were you a good person every time you told me you'd kill my cat or leave my dog at the pound? Were you a good person when you sold Ben to be eaten, knowing that I loved him? Were you a good person when you made me read "A child called It" and told me that you'd start doing the things in that book to me if I didn't behave? Were you a good person every time you told my father I was a liar whenever I tried to tell him what you were doing to me? Were you a good person when you told me I wasn't worth the cost of being alive? Were you? 

Fuck you, Mom! Keep your fucking money! A necklace on the nightstand isn't enough. A trinket can't heal years and years and years of abuse and hurt. You can't hide these scars under dollar bills. I hope you die alone. I know I probably will, but I don't even care anymore. I lost the ability to care thanks to you. You can't make up for the things you did and the things you didn't say now. Too little, too late! 

[missdutch21md]

Gas Station Saviors

A/N: so instead of going to therapy. I wrote this about something that happened on Halloween this year. So. There’s that. 🥴🥴 anywho please everyone stay safe in these times of plague and don’t do like these characters do only go outside if you absolutely must!

Genre: crack (?) 😜 mature 🔞

Pairing: OT7 x main character (reader)

Length: 9.1k 

⚠️warnings ⚠️: mentions of loss, alcohol consumption, mentions of COVID 19 (please social distance unlike the characters in this one shot), panic attack mentions

M. L i s t | Request 

It was another endless day. The fact that the calendar date was October 31st did nothing to influence my schedule into being less demanding. I sighed as I sat back at my desk, finally able to clock out for the day.  

During the times of pandemic, work only got busier, which was great for my wallet, but my mind was becoming increasingly vacant as the days turned into weeks and then months. I heard the rest of my family down stairs as I sat back wondering how much longer life would continue on like this.  

I watched as the time on the clock kept blinking back at me, unfeeling. [5:45 pm.]  

Another sigh left my lips as I heard my grandmother calling out to my cousins to pick up after themselves. Dinner must be coming to a close, I hummed. I grabbed my headphones and my phone after slipping on a pair of sweatpants. I was used to eating on my own these days. My family never waited for me anymore.  

And thank goodness I did. Coming down the stairs I saw a person I had never met before. “Oh, ____, you’re home!” my older cousin smiled. “This is my girlfriend, Sarah.”  

He was smiling, nothing ever seemed to affect him, not even the pandemic. Here he was, introducing me to his new girlfriend. I smiled as my mind was shouting insults at the family that I was stuck living with. “Nice to meet you,” she moved to shake my hand but I stepped back and then her face seemed to color with understanding. I couldn't believe it, here I was, separating myself from my friends, the guy that I liked, and my dad and a whole other side of my family. But of course, social distancing didn’t apply to my cousin. He was allowed to do just about anything he wanted.  

“Oh, Princess?” my mom came up behind me and steered me into the kitchen, her soft dulcet tones calming as she plated a hefty plate of food for me. Mom was always doing that, steering me away from things and situations, good and bad.  

The tension I felt settled in my brow and my shoulders as I was sat down at the now empty table to eat. I fished my headphones out of my pocket along with my phone and put on a BTS music video, Dynamite, I decided, I needed something to make me smile. Just watching the seven idols always put a smile on my face. Once the song stopped playing, I sent a text to the guy I was crushing on, asking if he had plans tonight.  

[6:01 PM] to: tall boi  u wanna hang out—or r u busy? C:  

I went back to YouTube and selected an old BTS bomb to watch while I finished eating.  Walking back into the kitchen, I plated the rest of my food into a Tupperware box laughing and smiling at the seven boys that I basically grew up with.  

“Plans for tonight, Princess?” my mom was all smiles as she filled her wine glass again.  

I gave her a small smile, “possibly, I’ll let you know.”  

“Perfect, you should put make up on if you decide to go out,” she briefly touched my cheek and floated back to the sofa to get back to her tele-novella. I sighed, she was right, it had been weeks since I felt like a person, I made my way upstairs to my room and put my music on shuffle while I got ready.  

My makeup was all done, and I was picking out an outfit. I finally settled on a cropped black long sleeve sweater and striped pants that made my butt look really cute. Satisfied with my selection, I got dressed, and because I was antsy, I grabbed my keys and told my mom I was leaving.  

I was bounding out the door in minutes, the sounds of screams from haunted houses were rising in the air, and there was a subtle mist that clung to the dark asphalt of the street like a thick blanket. I smiled as the scent of fog machines and the chilling sounds of haunted house albums greeted me before I placed my hand on the driver’s door handle unlocking my car and climbing in.  

The long coat that I draped over my shoulders was already making me too warm as I settled into my seat and waited for the music to connect to the speakers.  

My Time softly greeted my ears as I turned on my seat warmer and adjusted the air settings in my car so that I was comfortable.  

I checked my phone one last time before I peeled out of my parking space and decided that a night time drive through the canyon would be very relaxing. It also took me in his direction so if he ended up wanting to meet up, I would be closer than usual.  

As I turned onto the main road leading down to the canyon, my car alerted me of his text.  

[7:45 PM] from: tall boi can’t im super busy  

I tried to push back the disappointment that took hold of my heart. Only one year before, we had spent this exact night laughing, eating candy and watching TV in his apartment.  The sting of tears threatened to escape from my lashes, but I did my best to not allow them to fall. I further resolved to drive completely through the canyon to end up in the city.  

With my mind made up, I cranked up ON by BTS as it started playing through the speakers. I slowly came to a stop at the streetlight and shifted my car into sport mode. Once the light turned green, I was off merging into the next lane getting in front of the slower cars and pulled ahead.  

Soon, I was curving down into the canyon, the forest coming up and creating a canopy over the road. I had always loved driving down into the canyon and now it was the route most travelled when going to visit my grandpa’s grave. A left-handed turn had me pulling into the outskirts of the city. I kept to the outskirts, not wanting to get mixed up in any traffic and then kept going north. Finally, my destination came up, In n Out. I smiled happily as I got in line.  

After acquiring my sustenance, I made my way over to the nearest park to sit and enjoy my strawberry milkshake and my steaming hot French Fries. Softly, BTS was still playing through my speakers as I scrolled through my phone mindlessly. After another half hour, I got bored and decided to finally start making the long trek home.  

I started up my car again and back tracked briefly to stop at a gas station to fill up my tank before getting back on the road. I killed the engine and fished out my wallet from my purse to pay for my gas. The gas station had been full of cars. A family, two couples and an elderly man. I stood with my phone and scrolled more while waiting for the tank to fill. I suddenly remembered about the trash in my car and threw it out.  

Once the gas line popped, I grabbed a napkin to wipe off the gas tank on my car and removed the gas line. I turned back to the console and keyed in for it to print a receipt. At that moment I heard a shout from behind me and turned in surprise. When I turned again to watch where the scream came from, I saw a short man with a ripped tank top on. A quick glance around told me all the other cars had gone at some point. I clutched onto my phone tighter, unsure if I should really even worry.  

My eyes widened in shock; I had no idea where this person came from. But I seemed to have drawn attention to myself because he changed his trajectory after our eyes met. He stumbled away a little and I let out a sigh of relief as I returned the gas line and impatiently tapped my foot, waiting for the receipt to print. There was another shout and I turned to see he was no longer making his way to the car at the air pump ahead of where I parked —where had it even come from?—he was making his way over to me and he had a sinister smile on his face. My hands started to shake, and I bared my teeth in warning.  

He must have taken it as a smile because his eyes lit up in a disgusting way. My breath hitched in my throat as I saw another guy make his way over from my left. And then the car at the air pump started. The first guy waved at the car signaling for it to come closer. My hands were shaking as I hastily reached for the receipt that finally printed and then a sweet, melodic voice greeted me from behind.  

“Hey Babe, still getting gas?” I turned to give the person a piece of my mind, or scream—I wasn’t sure— when I stopped and my mouth fell open slightly at the sight that greeted me.  

My eyes landed on The Jeon Jungkook. “H-hi,” I stuttered. My hand was still reaching for the receipt from the console, stuck in shock. Jungkook seemed to notice and grabbed onto my wrist, my cellphone was still clutched in my grasp, to tug me gently in his direction.  

The two guys that were making their way over to my car were stopped at the front by the hood, watching the scene play out. “You scared me, Kookie!” I giggled then, the adrenaline or something kicked me into gear and I grabbed onto him leaning in for support. I tried to playfully swat at his arm but couldn’t help but wonder if I was shaking too much to really sell it.

“Who are your friends?” he asked me jutting his chin at the older men.  

I shook my head, “I don’t know them,” and pulled him closer and he easily stepped up to put me slightly behind him.  

Suddenly, I heard the voices of other BTS members, I heard Jimin louder than the others though. “Jungkook-ah!” he called out loudly.  

The two men at the hood of my car snapped their gaze in that direction when they previously seemed to be deciding whether they could take on Jungkook, but at the sound of the rest of the members, they seemed to rethink it. Jungkook called out something in Korean and the sound of footfalls was heard, once the other six made their way to where we were, the two older men backed up and got into the waiting car. After a moment, they drove off and I only calmed down once I was sure they had left. I physically sagged into Jungkook’s back and moved to lean against my car and covered my face.  

The boys were all speaking so fast, I started feeling dizzy and there was a growing ringing in my ears. I slowly sank down using my car for support and didn’t even look at the 7 men stood before me. Softly, I heard a gentle voice trying to bring me back. “Are you okay?”  

I blinked, when had my vision gotten so blurry? I turned to the right when there was a gentle touch to my arm. I was then greeted with Jungkook’s soft face his eyes wide with worry. Suddenly, the full implications of what just almost happened hit me like a bucket of ice-cold water and tears came.  

He let out a surprised sound and the others seemed to quiet down at the sound of my cries. I covered my face again with my hands and my whole body shook. I felt a strong comforting hand on my back and running through my hair. I leaned into the touch and was glad that I was being allowed this moment to process what just happened.  

After a couple of minutes, I calmed down enough to not lean on the person anymore. I moved away slightly and tried to stand up. Hands were offered to me and hands on my hips also helped steady me as I stood again.  

“You’re really here?” I gasped in amazement when I took in the sight of BTS in front of me.  

Namjoon laughed and Yoongi gave me a soft reassuring smile Jin and Jimin nodded. I looked to my right and saw and then finally felt Jungkook beside me. “Oh my god,” I stilled. I covered my face again, though this time, it was from embarrassment. “I look like a mess.”  

Suddenly, it was like they realized that I knew who they were. “Are you ARMY?” Hoseok asked tentatively.  

I nodded, “yes, I’m ARMY,” I smiled and I couldn’t suppress my happiness anymore. I was having serious emotional whiplash. “Thank you,” I told the members and then turned to Jungkook and bowed to 90 degrees. “Thank you,” I tried to bow several times and then he put his hands on my shoulders trying to stop me.  

“No, no” he shook his head. “It’s okay.”  

I shook my head again and then Namjoon stepped in here. “Are you feeling okay?” I felt that I was still trembling but I nodded and Namjoon seemed to read me like an open book. “We are leaving to get dinner would you please join us?”  

I shook my head, as I looked at all of them. “I can't ruin your plans like that.”  

“You wouldn’t ruin our plans,” it was Yoongi who spoke up then.  

“What’s your name?” Jimin asked softly.  

I gasped not believing I could be so rude and bowed again, “____ imnida.”  

“Wooo~” it was Seokjin who gaped at me.  

“I forgot all of my Korean,” I apologized blushing more.  

“That’s okay, we speak English,” Hoseok smiled warmly at me.  

“I know,” I blushed. “Where are you having dinner?”  

“BCD, you know it?” Taehyung finally spoke up.  

I nodded, “I love to eat there! Their kalbi is delicious!”  

Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook all smiled and laughed at my reaction. The older men seemed surprised and glad that I was even interested.  

“Can I go with you?” I blinked. Right. I had my car. I turned and smiled with a nod to Jungkook.  

“If you like, I just gave to move my coat.” I smiled warmly at him.  

I was making my way to the passenger door and then remembered the door was locked so I back tracked and leaned into the cab from the driver’s door to reach for my things and move them around. I scrambled around and I didn’t even think twice as I busied myself wish my task that they would be watching me. Suddenly the chatter around them got a little quiet and then stopped. I settled for draping my coat along the middle console and letting my backpack rest on the floor right in front of my seat. I made sure that it was closed properly so nothing would go rolling around.  

I stood back up and turned to face the seven men that kept me sane for the last 7 years and couldn’t help but be stunned by them yet again. Yoongi and Jungkook had been watching me closely it seemed and the others had their gazed pointedly fixed somewhere else. And then I remembered I was wearing pants that made my butt look delectable. I blushed and unlocked the car doors and told them I was ready.  

Jungkook nodded and moved past me and rest his hand on my hip lightly. I’d never been one to openly drool or be affected by just a man’s touch. Maybe it’s because it was Jungkook or maybe there was just something in the air because of Halloween. But I felt a warmth stir in the pit of my stomach and bit down on my lip to keep myself in check.  

“D-Does anyone else w-want to come along?” I smiled flushing hot, but now, from embarrassment.  

Taehyung nodded and moved to go sit behind Jungkook in the back seat and Jimin followed after. As the younger boys climbed into the car, I heard Jungkook’s sweet voice calling for me front he still open door on my side. “_____-ssi, turn car…on?”  

“Oh!” I nodded and climbed into the driver’s seat pressed on the brake and held the engine start button and my car purred to life. I plugged in my phone and adjusted the volume so the music would be soft and told Jungkook he could put whatever on, when Bigbang started playing through the speakers, I skipped through a couple of songs until I came to an Ariana Grande song. I gave him a small smile and got back out of the car and the other boys in the backseat leaned forward to tell Jungkook what to play.  

Jin smiled and said something in Korean that I didn’t understand and I blushed more as they all looked at me. “You know how to get there? Jin-hyung is asking,” Namjoon translated for me.  

I nodded, “I go there all the time. It’s just down the street that way,” I pointed in the correct direction to emphasize my point.  

Namjoon nodded, “can I come too?” Hoseok gave me a huge smile.  

I nodded with a tight smile, “it might be tight,” I hedged. Hoseok didn’t seem to understand but when he looked in the rear window at how Taehyung and Jimin were commandeering most of the real estate, he sighed. And yelled at them through the window.  

Jimin’s eyebrows were raised as he rolled down his window and said something in retaliation to his hyung. I smiled and giggled a little bit before turning back to Namjoon.  

“I will follow your car?” I asked.  

Namjoon nodded but then started shaking his hard and said “no, we will follow you.”

I nodded with sudden realization. I was driving 3 of the most famous people in the world. Of course, there was a worry that I would drive off and kidnap them. I wouldn’t ever dream of doing that, but I understood. With another nod and a command to drive safely from the hyungs, I got back into my car and settled into my seat.  

I stopped short again as I reached for my seatbelt and looked into my back seat to see Jimin and Taehyung laughing about something so casual and relaxed. Like they belonged there in my car, in my life. To be fair they were part of my life. I followed their music and campaigns religiously. And consumed all the media they created, but what wasn’t normal was having the 3 super stars in my little Honda hatchback.  

“Hi, ___-ah,” Jimin smiled leaning in forward.  

“Hi Jimin-ie,” I giggled as a blush came over me.

“How old are you,” Jimin smiled warmly.  

I giggled a little, “I’m 26.”  

Taehyung and Jungkook laughed at this. “So, you’re our noona?” Jungkook confirmed. I nodded and did my best to ignore the growing flame in my stomach at the sound of Jungkook calling me noona.  

There were gasps and laughs and clear teasing coming from the back seat and I couldn’t stop the smile that wanted to keep growing on my face. “Seatbelts,” I called while I clicked my own into place.  

Beside me I saw Jungkook fasten his own belt and turned back to check that Taehyung and Jimin had secured their own. With a determined nod I said, “okay let’s go! BCD here we come!”

The boys joined in my cheer and I shifted into sports mode again and slowly pulled forward to wait for the hyungs to get behind us in their car.  

Once the black SUV pulled up behind me, I pulled forward and settled into my seat talking as best as I could with the three men in my car. They asked silly questions like what is my favorite color and when I got my car. I answered their questions with the simplest answers that I could. I happily talked about my car telling them I bought it as a birthday present for myself.  

We were only three lights away from the restaurant, what could we really talk about? Still somehow, we were all laughing and talking together. We didn’t catch the first light; we could have but I suddenly was preoccupied with making sure we made it in one piece. My anxiety was through the roof—would they tell their hyungs that I was a safe and responsible driver? While I contemplated this, Boys with fun started playing through the speakers and I turned up the volume by 1 and started singing along and dancing—somehow— forgetting that I had an audience.  

Then the car was suddenly very quiet after I acted out along to Taehyung’s part in the song with J-Hope and I looked over to Jungkook with wide eyes and shock—had I really just done that? His mouth was hanging open in a teasing smile and his eyes were wide with wonder.  

I gasped and said, “don’t laugh!!”

And after another beat of silence, all three erupted with laughter.  

It was contagious, I couldn’t help but laugh too. The light we were stopped at changed to green and I made the left turn and quickly merged all the way to the right in preparation for the eventual right turn we would make.  

The guys were all loud and laughing and making me forget the trauma that I just experienced. What would have happened if Jungkook hadn’t stepped in? I wouldn’t let myself dwell on it while I was with them. I would soak up all the love and positive energy that I could while I had them with me.  

After two more lights, we were turning into the parking lot for BCD. I tried to get a close spot and parked in reverse so if we needed to leave quickly, it wouldn’t be an issue. Once I was parked, I grabbed my mask and tried to not think about the phrase printed on it. “Notice me Oppa”.  

It was meant to be a cute thing to wear if I ended up with him but those plans didn’t exactly pan out and here I was shrugging on my over coat to ward off the cold. I couldn’t believe I was wearing this embarrassing mask in front of the 7 men that I looked up to most. I waited for the boys to get out of the car and then locked the doors with the press of the lock button in my handle. Jimin saw my mask and I saw it in his eyes. The teasing glint in his eyes as he regarded me. “Don’t say anything!” I giggled pointing up at him thankful the mask covered most of, what I was sure was, my red face.  

“C’mon noona,” he teased lightly and the four of us made our way up to the entrance for BCD where the other members had already been ushered inside and to the back room.  

When we entered the ajumma smiled and greeted us in English. Jungkook greeted her warmly in Korean and explained who we were. She nodded and called someone over to lead us into the back room. I had never been back here so I was excited to see a part of the restaurant I hadn’t before.  

The hyungs and some managers were already seated and talking, ordering drinks and relaxing. When we came into the room, the guys called in greeting and I was stunned again with how handsome they all were. I was really here. Eating dinner with them. I couldn’t believe my luck.  

I must have been standing for too long because Yoongi waved at me and called me over with his hand. I blinked and sauntered over and started to really question my mask choice as he leaned in to speak softly. “Hi ____-ah,” He pat on the empty seat beside him and I slowly lowered myself onto the chair after removing my coat.  

I blushed and didn’t want to remove my mask because I knew I was so red underneath the blessed fabric. “Hi—Yoongi?” I hedged he nodded and blinked back at me.  

“I am your oppa?” He smiled teasingly at me and pulled on my mask a little, I pulled away from him a little as my blush deepened further. I nodded and was reminded again of the flame that flared up in my belly again. Now was so not the time. “So?” He raised his eyebrows waiting for me. And then it clicked.  

Was he in a power trip or something?? “H-hi Yoongi-oppa.” I winced, my voice sounded small, even to me.  

He leaned in like I had seen him do at a concert I attended in 2016. At the concert he was waiting for the audience to scream for him and scream we did I reminisced on the screams and cries I had belted out for him. He was my bias at the time and I was hoping that he would be satisfied with how loud the stadium had gotten. Suddenly I was back in my seat, watching how he put a hand cupped around his ear and motioned for me to repeat it again just like that night.  

By some miracle I found my voice again, pulled my mask down and spoke again. “Hi Yoongi-oppa.”

He seemed satisfied this time and leaned back in his chair to chime in on the conversation going on around us. A conversation I couldn’t really participate in since I couldn’t speak Korean and that I had completely lost due to a certain Min Yoongi distracting me. But it seemed that Jungkook was relaying to his hyungs about something that happened. I just sat silently and smiling just happy to be near them.  

Namjoon seemed to notice my lack of understanding because he was leaning over explaining what was being said to me so I could feel included. I smiled and thanked him and then we started having our own conversation. I was worried that because he has such a big brain that I wouldn’t be able to have stimulating conversation for him, but he didn’t make me feel nervous or anything.  

Eventually, a waiter came in with drinks and a soda was placed down in front of me. I thanked them all with nods and bows. And then a shot glass was placed in front of me. I gulped, a little nervous.  

“You can drink, right?” Namjoon looked at me as he seemed to notice that I got nervous.  

I smiled and gave a nervous laugh. “Yes I’m 26.” Though I didn’t voice that I get stupid when I’m drunk.  

“Oh?” He smiled with interest. “I am too.”  

I nodded, “yeah I know.” I blushed and hid my smile a little bit.  

“When Is your birthday?” He asked.  

Oh “February 21st.”  

“That’s only a few days after J-Hope!” Hoseok looked over in interest at the mention of his name.  

I smiled and nodded again stating again, “I know.”  

When Namjoon said “you know” at the same time we both laughed together. Hoseok must have asked him what we were talking about because Namjoon was suddenly gesturing to me and Hoseok’s eyes got wide as he answered back.  

He turned and looked at me and said “we have almost same birthday!”

I nodded along and smiled wider. “You’re older by a few days!”

He nodded and sat back in his seat suddenly energetic again. “Let’s be close since we are same age!”

I nodded and said, “okay.” Yoongi snorted beside me and I turned back to look at him and smile. “Neh, oppa?” I gasped suddenly and fished for my cellphone from my pocket and blushed when I felt Yoongi lean in closer to look at the purple screen and asked if I was okay.  

I had made a mood-board of Jungkook my Lock Screen and had just finished customizing my Home Screen just the day before. I nodded to Yoongi in answer and pulled up messages on my phone and text my mom that I was safe and with my friends so she wouldn’t worry me and apologized for not texting sooner. Not even a minute later, she replied back thanking me for letting her know.  

I smiled and let out a little sigh of relief. Yoongi had to have still been watching me because suddenly, his finger was tapping against my phone and looking at the settings I had in place. He scrolled through the photos I had cycling on screen and stopped at an edit of him from Boy with Luv. He pointed at the screen and then back at himself, that’s me.  

I nodded. “You were my first bias,” I giggled.  

“Who is now?” I blushed and locked the screen and illuminated it for him to see Jungkook’s face smiling up at him. Namjoon seemed to catch on our conversation at this point.  

“You mean it’s not me?” He played it like he was offended and I hurriedly tried to explain.  

“I love all of you. You’re all my bias and my wreckers at the same time. You’re all so talented and you’re so smart.” I suddenly realized that I was gushing about them to him and clammed up a little feeling self-conscious.  

Yoongi seemed to notice and gently pat on my arm trying to be reassuring. I gave him a small smile and he said something in Korean and Namjoon translated for me. I suddenly remembered about the iOS update that happened to put a translator on my phone.  

I hurriedly unlocked my phone but Facial recognition didn’t seem to work so I typed in my code. And pulled up the translator. I spoke into it, “maybe we can understand each other now.” And pressed play on the Korean side of it.  

The little voice that played back made Yoongi’s eyes light up in wonder as he nodded back.  

He then got his own phone out and found the translator and spoke what he said “okay, I think this can work.”

I smiled triumphantly and told Namjoon I didn’t want him to have to translate everything for me. He smiled and then relaxed back in his seat revealing Jungkook to his left. I smiled and turned back to Yoongi asking him about how he was doing. Why they were even in California.  

Yoongi answered and we went back and forth like this a few times. And then a waitress stopped between us to ask for our order. Yoongi motioned for me to go first. I ordered the kalbi combo with mild spice on my tofu soup.  

Yoongi snorted out a laugh again and I gasped at him waiting for him to finish ordering after me to ask him what was so funny. He explained that he laughed at how I ordered not spicy soup.  

I rolled my eyes and laughed more. “I get sick if I have too much spicy food.”

He nodded and suddenly concern clouded his eyes asking if I was okay eating here.  

I smiled and assured him that I’d been craving to eat here for a while now. I told him that I wanted to at least pay for my meal when I suddenly remembered that isn’t how Koreans gather. I apologized and bowed my head that I forgot.  

Namjoon’s ears pricked up at my comment. “What do you mean you forgot; did you live in Korea?”

I shook my head and spoke into the translator as I answered so Yoongi wouldn’t feel left out. “I wanted to move to South Korea so I learned about the culture over there. And I learned when you go out one person pays for everybody and you take turns.”

Namjoon nodded and confirmed and Yoongi asked. “Is that not how it is here?”

I shook my head no. “Everyone pays for themselves when you go out with a group. Or if one person pays, you pay your part to that person.”

Yoongi’s jaw dropped in shock and Namjoon just nodded along. Soon after sides were laid in front of us and I looked at the fish placed in front of me. And Yoongi turned his attention to the others I was deep in thought as I watched them all dancing around and joking with each other. I wished this time together could last forever.  

A wistful sigh left my lips as I had my phone facing up on the table in front of me when my phone lit up with a message from my crush.  

[21:37] from tall boi:  wanna meet up?

I sighed and rolled my eyes, the disappointment rolling off of me in waves seemed to alert the others.  

“Yah. ____-ah!” It was Hoseok. “Why you are sad?”

“Oh,” I smiled at him. “This guy wants me to meet up with him.”

“Is he your boyfriend?” Hoseok laughed.  

I giggled more and shook my head no. “He’s not. Just a guy that wants to mess around.”

Namjoon blushed at that when Hoseok looked confused at my answer. I guess Namjoon explained what I said because Yoongi was suddenly upset and talking into his phone when it sounded out. “That guy sounds like an asshole block his number!”  

I laughed. Actually laughed, and nodded as I opened the text and didn’t answer leaving it on read.  

Jin suddenly looked over at me, “we make him jealous!”

I shook my head no. “We don’t have to do that.”

Hoseok was suddenly into it with how shy I had gotten. “Yes! Let’s do it!”

The rest of the group cheered and Jimin snatched up my phone from across the table and snapped a photo of me sitting between Yoongi and Namjoon.  The two men leaned into me and put their arms around me.  

I giggled and blushed even more and Taehyung hopped up from beside Jungkook and came to stand behind us, leaning down. Jin shot up out of his chair on the other side of us and shouted. “You need Jin, worldwide handsome!” And made his way over too.  

I couldn’t stop laughing and Jimin kept taking photos capturing every moment. Hoseok suddenly called out to the one of the staff and asked for them to take our photo together. He was gesturing to us and the staff member nodded and took my phone from Jimin.  

Suddenly I was stood up, Yoongi and Namjoon pushed our three chairs together and sat me down on their lap. Jungkook got closer, and Taehyung sat to Yoongi’s right. The three other men gathered behind us and posed. I don’t know how I didn’t notice, but they were each holding onto me somehow. I couldn’t help the smiles and the laughs that escaped me. I was actually happy.  

The staff member handed my phone to me and I thanked him profusely bowing many times.  

The next thing I knew, our food was coming out and our spots were rearranged so I was sitting between Jin and Jimin on the other side of the table now. Yoongi glared in our direction and Jimin childishly taunted him.  

I’m watching you! It looked like Yoongi warned Jimin who bowed his head and closed his eyes with a 10000-watt smile as we sat. Finally, someone said let’s eat and we all dug into our meals. Everyone grabbed from whatever plate they wanted and ate together.  

“What is your favorite BTS song?” Jimin asked me suddenly, pulling me from watching the others laugh and joke while they ate.  

I laughed lightly and answered honestly. “All of them. But the first song I ever heard was Haruman.”  

Jimin seemed to think back on it fondly.  

“Who is your favorite?” Jin asked me.  

I smiled and showed him my phone screen.  

“Yah! Not worldwide handsome Jin?!” he screeched incredulously.  

I smiled and giggled at his dramatics I could tell he was joking but it still made me laugh. “Oppa~~ don’t be like that.”

He’s eyes sparkled at my tone and he then continued to eat his food and joke with the other guys. And I looked on fondly.  

“Jungkook is really your favorite?” Jimin asked me.  

I smiled and blushed nodding and bumped my shoulder with his as I explained that they were all my favorite at one point. I just had a soft spot for the youngest of the group. Jungkook turned at the sound of his name, his eyebrows raised in question passing over me and then turning to Jimin.  

“Hyung?” He called in his melodic voice.  

I couldn’t get over hearing them without a filter of some sort. Be it a screen or a microphone from a concert. A girl could get used to this. Jimin spoke quickly to the maknae and the way his eyes gleamed with pride as he then smiled at me told me everything I needed to know about the exchange. He knew that he is my bias and there was so hiding it now.  

I blanched a little under his intense gaze and looked down at my plate blushing when Jimin saw this he took the opportunity to tease me. Bringing it to the attention of everyone at the table. I would have been mortified but I didn’t really care. I was again just so happy to be around then to hear them. I was rubbing elbows with Mr. Worldwide Handsome over here!  

Maybe I was getting overwhelmed again, but I felt a tear escape my eyes and Jin seemed to calm down and pat my back trying to comfort me.  

“Are you okay?” Jimin asked from my left I turned to him and I started sobbing. The guys all sprang up from their seats and tried to reassure me. I nodded and grabbed a napkin trying to dab away my tears. I had worked so hard to make my make up perfect tonight. I wasn’t going to ruin it I cursed myself internally. I curled up into myself as I tried to calm myself, patting on my shoulders in a soothing motion.  

Then Jungkook was knelt in front of me. “Can I hug you?” Was falling to my ears.  

I nodded and said, “yes please.” Then. I felt the world come to a standstill. I was overcome with his scent and the strength of his arms. I don’t even know why I was still crying. I hid my face in his chest and he suddenly lifted me up into his arms to move back to his seat and keep me in his lap. Jungkook kept a hand on my thigh and kept eating and offered me bites of food here and there.  

After a few minutes, I calmed down enough and moved to get up off his lap. He wrapped an arm around my waist and held me in place. My chopsticks were passed over to me and I ate happily from my new seat.  

“Tell me if I’m too heavy,” I told him while trying to lessen my weight on his leg. He blinked back at me in confusion so Namjoon translated since my phone was still at the other side of the table.  

Jungkook smiled and puffed his chest. “I’m Strong. I can hold you noona.”

I giggled and went back to eating happily. As we all sat and ate Jungkook’s hold on me loosened but he still kept a hand on my thigh.  

As we ate, the boys ordered booze and shots.  Jin wanted me to drink for him so I had initially tried to deny but then I found myself with my hand on my elbow like I had learned and turned my face away to drink the shot. I had turned in Hoseok’s direction and he pretended to be offended making the guys all start laughing.  

I couldn’t stop laughing with them. The next thing I knew, we were tumbling out into the cool air and it was late. Too late.  

“We’re going to go keep the party going, if you want to come?” Namjoon asked as Jungkook kept a firm hold on my waist from my left. I smiled and nodded before I looked at my phone and saw the time. 11:35 and several texts from my mom asking if I was alright.  

I told my mom I was okay just caught up in eating with my friends and looked up at them sadly. Well. I don’t really want to leave.  

Taehyung and Jimin cheered and grabbed me into their arms and I felt the loss of Jungkook’s arm around me. And we all cheered so ready for the party to continue. Namjoon smiled and said that he’d be coming in the car with me this time. Yoongi agreed and Jimin and Taehyung pouted.  

“Noona~” they pleaded I didn’t understand the rest of what they said because it was all in mostly drunk Korean.  

I giggled and shook my head not understanding. Jungkook was once again pulling me into his side and I looked up at him smiling.  

“You let me come, right?” Jungkook’s eyes were shining like stars.  

I nodded and Taehyung and Jimin groaned. I looked back at them confused and Taehyung tried to explain. “I come too?”

I nodded, “if you want to squish between your hyungs.” Taehyung cheered and Jimin looked offended.  

I giggled at their show of annoyance with each other. “Where are we going?” I asked Namjoon.  

“To our hotel?” He answered.  

I nodded, “okay. Let’s go!” Jungkook crowed into the night air and I joined him along with Taehyung. We raced back to the cars, Jungkook got shotgun again and we climbed into my car. I felt the purr of the engine coming alive again and smiled to myself. Or so I thought.  

“You really like your car,” Yoongi gave me a gummy smile.  

I nodded and looked back at him through the rear view while we waited for the younger boys to climb into the black SUV. I had the biggest smile on my face and reconnected my phone to the USB-port. A Spanish Selena song Tu Solo Tu started played and I mumbled an apology when Yoongi said to leave it on.  

Maybe it was the little alcohol in my system, but I started belting out with the song, just singing my heart out as though I didn’t have an audience. Once the song changed the younger boys were ready and motioned for me to follow. I nodded and shifted into sport again, following after.  

After I sang a bit more and the boys joined in, Namjoon spoke up. “Your singing is really pretty.”

I blushed and said no but he insisted so I finally let him have it. “Can I record your voice?”  

I knew it was Yoongi and for some reason it made my heart flutter. So, I answered with a question of my own. “Are you serious?”

I looked back at him briefly and saw him nod in response and if I thought my face was going to break in half before, that was nothing compared to this. I nodded and enthusiastically said yes. “I would love that.”

He hummed quietly and Jungkook brought my attention back to the road when he started asking me questions about how long I’ve been in California and if I was ever going to go to South Korea.  

“I’ll make it there some day,” I told him. “Maybe not for a while; I can’t speak much Korean. I want to be able to speak more.”  

“What can you say?”

I laughed and said “hi my name is ____. Or I’m ____.” I thought a little harder. “Where is it?” I couldn’t stop the bubbling laughter. “I took a class years ago but I didn’t have anyone to practice with so I lost most of it.”

“We can help you practice,” Namjoon smiled warmly from the back seat.  

I shook my head. “You’re already busy enough, you don’t need me wasting your time too.”  

“Will you help me with English?” Jungkook queried softly from my right.  

When I looked over at him, I stilled. He was looking at me from under his lashes turning the cuteness to 5 trillion. I nodded. “Of course, I would help you!”

“So, we help you too,” Yoongi smiled.  

I blushed and continued to follow after the younger boys and finally after a half hour drive of singing and laughing with the guys, we were pulling off the freeway and towards their hotel. Once we finally arrived, we parked and made our way inside. Yoongi took the lead and Jungkook jumped around annoying his hyungs and making me laugh.  

Namjoon and I were laughing talking about their plans while in California. I gushed about local beaches and then remembered they probably wouldn’t be able to go, first because the weather was getting colder, and two they’re celebrities.  

Namjoon smiled in understanding helping me not feel bad for my inconsiderate answer. I’d had my hands up and was talking animatedly about how I haven’t really been around people because of social distancing and my frustration about my cousin still having a perfectly normal time right now.  

I then paled considerably. “I hope I don’t get you guys sick.”

Yoongi had just stopped to enter a keycard into a door as I said this and he shook his head. And Namjoon looked down at me with a soft smile, “you won’t. It’s okay.”

Namjoon ushered me into the hotel room after Yoongi and Jungkook and we were greeted with the cheers of our arrival from the others.  

“You made it!” Jimin and Taehyung shot up and wrapped their arms around me, tugging me around. I laughed and told them to please put me down.  

Yoongi yelled out something in Korean as he was rifling through some bags. My name was somewhere in the mix there so I looked over to him. Jimin and Taehyung groaned out in response.  

“Yah hyung,” and then they grumbled on before letting me go. Yoongi called me over and I dropped my bag on a chair and shrugged off my coat.  

“We record?” He flashed me a gummy smile and I perked up instantly.  

Hoseok groaned at the sound of Yoongi’s words but then was slightly interested once Namjoon explained Yoongi wanted to record me. “___-ah come get a drink!” Hoseok called before I made it to Yoongi.  

Yoongi growled out some sort of response with a scowl and so I promised Hoseok. “After, I will.”  

Yoongi was typing away and I sat beside him watching as he fiddled with settings. “Okay.” He grabbed his phone and was searching something up.  

“I’m nervous,” I laughed. “What should I sing for you?”

“The same song?” He answered with a furrowed brow.  

“Oh, from the car?” I asked my eyebrows raised in question. He nodded and I pulled up the lyrics on my phone to make sure I would sing it correctly.  

I cleared my voice a little and then started singing, careful to make sure I put as much effort into the quality of the sound and making sure the pitch was right too. I sang through the whole song once doing my best to not notice the way the others slowly stopped having conversations to listen to me singing. I made the mistake of looking up from my phone at one point and met eyes with Jungkook and nearly stopped singing.  

I looked over at Yoongi sitting beside me and his eyes were already trained on me so intently I started blushing and nearly fumbled the last few words of the song.  

Namjoon came over and started asking about the song and about what it meant. I explained it’s about lovers and the woman singing about how she’s getting drunk and can’t get over the person.  

After a while longer, we were all singing and dancing together. I sat down after a while and lazily sipped at the beer that they had given me. I started feeling myself get tired. Once I let my body relax, I grabbed my phone off the coffee table and gasped at the time. It was 3 AM.  

“Holy shit,” I laughed. Namjoon plopped down next to me and asked what happened. I showed him the time and he was equally surprised.  

Yoongi sat to my left and had his eyebrows raised in question. I showed him the time and explained, “It’s late. I should probably go home.”

“No~,” I heard the drawn-out call at my words from Jin as he sat on the chair beside the sofa I was resting on.  

“Jin hyung, you’re drunk,” Taehyung laughed at the oldest member.  

Jungkook tumbled over to where we sat and landed at my feet, laying his head in my lap. Maybe it’s because I was drunk or because I knew I would have to leave them, whatever it was had me reaching out to touch him. It made me card my fingers through his pillowy soft hair and run my hands across his shoulders giving him a light massage.  

He hummed and I could feel it through his back and I marveled at him and the way he was built so strong. It made me miss his strong arms around my waist like they were only hours before. Jungkook relaxed into my touch and leaned his back against my knees. I hummed quietly and eventually got too tired. I pat on his shoulder affectionately and gave him a brief squeeze before sitting back all the way in my spot and resting my head against the back of the sofa.  

“You’re tired,” Yoongi commented.  

“Neh oppa,” I smiled up at him.  

“Stay here and rest,” Jungkook said.  

I shook my head, “I should go home.”

“You’ve been drinking,” Taehyung pointed out remembering my earlier comment of not wanting to drink and drive.  

I frowned. I had been drinking and quite a lot of the bottles laying around were anything to go by. I hummed in response, not able to add much to the conversation.  

“Stay,” came Jungkook’s dulcet tones again.  

Yoongi put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me in close. Jimin sauntered over and sat down beside Jungkook leaning against him on the floor.  

“No one wants to cuddle with me?!” Jin screeched clearly joking but still trying to get someone to going join him. Namjoon let out a heavy sigh and went to sit in Jin’s lap. I chuckled softly and watched as they all talked with each other. Hoseok finally flopped down onto the mattress and scrolled through his phone.

I blinked and tried to hold back a yawn while Yoongi got comfortable in his spot and Taehyung sat beside us. “Are you staying noona?” I heard someone call as my eyelids were harder and harder to keep open. Yoongi had started humming a soft tune. I vaguely recognized it as Seesaw and hummed in response again.  

Hoseok was up again because I heard him walking around. Someone removed the beer bottle that was in my hand and then I was being lifted up. I opened my eyes briefly as much as I could and heard Jin say something in Korean. I was too tired to really ask, Namjoon called out to whoever was carrying me and I heard a chest rumble in response.  

The soft quality reminded me of Jungkook but I wasn’t sure. I blinked up blearily at the person holding me and was met with Jungkook’s sharp jawline. I sighed and snuggled closer into him; I briefly noticed his grip tightening on me slightly.  

“Just rest noona,” he hummed the smell of his breath and alcohol washed over me. Jin called back for Jungkook from down the hallway. I also heard Yoongi too but couldn’t be bothered to really try to pay attention.  

When I finally managed to open my eyes again, I was looking at Taehyung’s back as he opened the door to another room. I tried my best to ask in Korean, “Where are we?”  

Jungkook and Taehyung both cooed at me seemingly praising me based on their tone. I hummed happily once I was deposited onto a cool and soft surface. Someone removed my shoes. I felt hands on my waist and the zipper for my pants coming down.  

“What are you doing?” I huffed in annoyance.  

I didn’t hear a response. Just felt my pants being pulled down and quickly a silky soft material was being pushed up my legs. I forced my eyes open and laughed when I saw Jungkook and Taehyung trying to get a pair of basketball shorts on me. I helped them and raised my hips. I heard them huff a “thank you noona” in Korean.  

I heard fabric rustling and sighs and they were chatting about the day. I couldn’t quite catch everything. I briefly heard my phone going off in the background and one of them handed my phone to me. I opened my eyes and saw it was a text from my mom.  

[4:02 AM] from Mom: are you coming home?  

I answered back. [4:05 AM] to Mom:  nope still out with my friends. I’m not coming home tonight.  

Her response was immediate. [4:05 AM] OK you need to stay safe.  

I sighed and turned off my phone. And flung it to the end of the bed. I heard laughs and snickers in response to my attitude. I grumbled out, “Kookie~”  

“Neh, noona.”  

I heard the smile in his laugh. “Cuddles…” I racked my brain, trying to remember the phrase in Korean, “hold me tight.”  

I heard Taehyung right behind me then. His chuckle was right in my ear as he cooed at me for speaking Korean again. I shivered and settled under the covers comfortably as he had pulled them back. Finally, Jungkook came into bed too and I sighed happily when he pulled me to rest on his chest.  

Taehyung draped himself across my back and held onto my waist. I fell asleep quickly after that, praying that the last 12 hours had not been a dream.  

A/N: This probably won’t have a second part-- hence calling it a one shot. anywho;; I’m safe, nothing eneded up happening that night because a higher power was looking out for me that night-- so enjoy this crack piece and talk to me or something or i’ll just go off into the void and not do anything else but edit the next chapter in Music of the Night.. so i’m off to do that! 

Master L i s t | Request  

[izzielizzie]

can you do a natewyn soulmate au? I saw this once but when one person turns 18, the first thing they write appears on the hand of their soulmate and since Bronwyn is older, Nate sees what she writes? But it's something strange as heck like maybe some class notes or something?

Yes!

“You’re eighteen!” Maeve Rojas trills as she jumps on her sister’s bed on the morning of her birthday.

“Only technically,” the sleep deprived birthday girl responds, pushing her sister off the bed. Maeve lands on the floor and bounces back up like nothing happened. 

“Technically?

“I was born at eleven in the morning, remember?”

Maeve, who was born three minutes after midnight and therefore was already a year older when she wakes up on the morning of November sixteenth every year, mulls that over as Bronwyn rolls out of bed and looks through her dresser for her favorite grey pullover.

“Fine. Well then, how do you plan on finding your soulmate?”

Bronwyn turns to look at her sister, a green woolen sweater handing from her hand. “What?”

“Oh come on you’re eighteen. The first thing you write at eleven will show up on your soulmate’s hand. So how do you plan on finding them?”

Bronwyn rolls her eyes. She knows that soulmates exist - Maeve had already found hers a few weeks ago after a very random grocery list showed up on her hand at three in the morning - but Bronwyn doesn’t believe that she has one. “How do you know that I’m older? Maybe the other person is older.” 

This is another soulmate rule. The second one to turn eighteen is the one who has writing appear on their hand. Maeve is a year younger than Luis Santos, which is why his writing showed up on her hand instead of vise versa.

Maeve huffs and looks at her sister like she’s insane. “God Bronwyn I thought you were supposed to be the smart one. If your soulmate was older than you then their handwriting would show up. Since it didn’t, and you’re eighteen, then you’re the older one.”

“Or,” Bronwyn says, moving away from the dresser with her sweater in hand, “I have no soulmate. Just because you have one doesn’t mean the whole world does.”

“Spoilsport!” Maeve calls after Bronwyn as she heads to their shared bathroom.

Five hours later Bronwyn pulls out her astronomy notebook and places it in the space between her and her best friend Addy on their lab bench. Both girls regretted taking the class about five minutes into the first lesson, and now, three weeks later, they spend the whole time writing back and forth to each other in Bronwyn’s notebook under the guise of taking shared notes. 

Happy birthday! Addy writes.

Thanks! Bronwyn writes back.

Any special drink you’re gonna order from the café? Addy asks right as the clock - unknown to both girls - strikes eleven. She is, of course, referencing the café Bronwyn and Addy work at every Friday, their day off from Until Proven, the law firm owned by Addy’s brother-in-law. 

Bronwyn thinks for a moment. She never really gets anything from the café since she doesn’t drink coffee, but some of the iced lattes look interesting. I don’t know. Maybe an iced London fog with vanilla sweet cream? Maeve gets it when Mom doesn’t want her to drink coffee

Moments after Bronwyn finishes writing her note someone cries out in surprise from the back of the room. Everyone, including old Mr. Avery, who never interrupts his lectures for anything, turns around to stare at the back lab bench where Nate Macauley and Cooper Clay sit. To call the friendship between all star athlete and all around golden boy Cooper and drug dealer Nate unexpected is an understatement, but Addy is close friends with Cooper, and she says they make it work.

“Boys, everything all right back there?” Mr. Avery asks.

“Yep!” Cooper says right away. Bronwyn has never spoken to Cooper or Nate (she only stares at Nate from afar while simultaneously assuring Addy that she does not have a crush on him) but even she can tell that everything is not alright. 

Nate catches Bronwyn’s eye as she’s about to turn back to the board, and much to her surprise, he mouths happy birthday. Bronwyn, unsure how to respond, just turns back around.

Bronwyn is my soulmate is the only thought swirling around Nate’s head as he enters the mostly empty café. 

Most people assume that motorcycle driving leather jacket wearing Nate Macauley doesn’t believe in soulmates, but to his eternal surprise, he does. His parents had a terrible relationship before his mother left, and he was cynical about love for a while. But now, as he stares down at the neat, round handwriting on his left hand, he knows that Bronwyn is his soulmate. If the date doesn’t prove it (September ninth, he remembered that from when he and Bronwyn went to the same elementary school), then the note itself proved it. The person had written Maeve and Mom in the same sentence. Only one person had a sibling called Maeve at Bayview High School, and it was Bronwyn. Of course, Nate’s soulmate could be living in Ireland, where he was sure the Maeve was common, which is where his third and final reasoning comes in. When he wished Bronwyn a happy birthday during astronomy, she had turned as white as a sheet. He was no Sherlock Holmes, but all the clues pointed to Bronwyn being his soulmate. Which is why he had asked Cooper to ask Addy where Bronwyn worked, and then drove there on his motorcycle right as it was closing so he could talk to Bronwyn in private. 

But, to his dismay, Bronwyn isn’t at the café when he enters it. Addy Prentiss is though. She smirks at him when she sees him. “Bronwyn isn’t here. She went home early. It’s her birthday. Although you know that, don’t you future Mr. Rojas?”

Nate considers playing dumb, but he is too disappointed. “How’d you know?”

“Cooper told me.”

Of course he did. “Well, I guess I’ll talk to her on Monday.”

“Yeah. It’s too bad you don’t have the time to drive to eleven Thorndike Street,” Addy agrees, nodding wisely. Nate grins at her. “Well, I’ll see you later,” she says, starting to turn from him. 

“Wait!”

Addy turns to him, startled. 

“Actually I want to order something.” Nate looks down at his hand, where the note is starting to fade.

Addy, who catches the movement, smiles knowingly.   

Half an hour later, Nate rings the doorbell of a large grey house. If he’s being honest, it’s practically a mansion. There’s a pounding of footsteps from the house and then the door flies open to reveal a short, amber eyed girl wearing a jumpsuit in some burnt umber color. A tall guy Nate recognizes from the football team is behind her. “Hi!” the girl says pleasantly.   

“Hi. I’m Nate. I was looking for Bronwyn?”

“Yeah?” a new voice calls. The guy steps back and lets Bronwyn step forward. She’s wearing an elegant black gown, her hair twisted up. Nate always knew Bronwyn is beautiful, but as she stands in front of him with her grey eyes bright against the dark dress (Nate didn’t even know Bronwyn had grey eyes since she always wears glasses), he realizes that even without the soulmate tag, he would have fallen in love with Bronwyn. Maybe he was always in love with her. 

Bronwyn studies him. “Hi.”

“Hi. Happy birthday.”

“Thanks.”

“I brought you something.” Nate holds up the drink Addy prepared for him. “Iced London fog with vanilla sweet cream.”

Bronwyn pauses. “How did you know m-” Nate interrupts her question by holding up his left hand. The writing is still there, and he swears that it’s clearer than it was earlier. Bronwyn seems rooted in place as she reads the words on the back of his hand. The other girl who Nate can only assume is Maeve, Bronwyn’s sister, is not frozen at all. She shrieks, gabs Nate’s hand, reads the words, looks at her sister, and shrieks again. 

Nate takes a step back in surprise that the other boy notices. He puts his hands on Maeve’s shoulders and pulls her back into his chest. “Okay Maevey, love, don’t scare the poor guy.” After hearing the guy’s voice, Nate realizes it’s Luis Santos, Maeve Rojas’s soulmate. Or at least that’s what Cooper tells him. 

“Thanks. Um, Bronwyn?”

Bronwyn shakes herself and looks at him as if seeing him for the first time. “I don’t believe in soulmates,” she says. She must see the look of hurt on Nate’s face (or maybe she hears her sister’s snort of disgust) because she quickly adds, “but if I’m being honest, I kind of always had a crush on you.”

Nate half smiles. “Me too.”

Bronwyn smiles. “We’re going out for dinner with my parents, but after, we’ll talk.”

“Okay,” Nate says, a bright grin overtaking his face. “But, I need your number.”

Bronwyn reaches forward and squeezes his hand. “I’ll write it on the back of my hand, you’ll see it. That’s a soulmate thing right?”

Nate laughs and nods. 

“And she says she doesn’t believe in soulmates,” Maeve mutters. Everyone laughs, and Bronwyn and Nate grin at each other. 

He wraps an arm around Bronwyn as they all walk down the drive to their respective vehicles. Bronwyn is about to climb into her car when she quickly stands on her toes and kisses Nate for one fleeting moment.

Nate watches her drive away. Yes, Bronwyn Rojas most certainly is his soulmate. 

[maybeimamuppet]

the best medicine

Cady is very worried. It’s almost noon and Janis still hasn’t answered her good morning message. She’s trying to calm herself; Janis is renowned for being a late sleeper, especially on weekends. But she wasn’t in school yesterday, and they haven’t spoken or even texted since Thursday night. Something must be wrong.

She decides to start doing some math homework to distract herself from her anxiety, pulling out her textbook and grabbing a pencil from the cup on her desk. She’s working on her fifth problem when her phone finally pings.

Jellybean: good morning butterfly

Jellybean: sorry it took me so long to answer i’ve been asleep all day

Caddy Cakes: It’s fine, darling. Are you okay??

Jellybean: i’m not great

Caddy Cakes: What’s wrong?? :(((

Jellybean: i’m sick. that’s why i didn’t come in yesterday 📷

Jellybean: doc says it’s strep. had to get swabbed

Caddy Cakes: Oh no, poor Jellybean 📷

Caddy Cakes: How long have you been taking antibiotics?

Jellybean: uh since yesterday morning i think ?? why ?

Caddy Cakes: If you’ve been taking them for more than 24 hours you’re not contagious anymore. Do you want me to come take care of you?

Jellybean: u don’t have to do that babes. i’m all gross rn

Caddy Cakes: I don’t care, lovey. I picked up lion crap as my daily chore for eight years, I can handle a sick girlfriend. I wanna take care of you 🥺

Jellybean: if u really want to, cads. my mom and jules are out of town, there’s a key under the ceramic frog in the garden

Caddy Cakes: I’ll be there in fifteen 📷️mwah! 📷

-

Cady puts down her pencil and closes her book, heading downstairs and grabbing everything she might need to help her sick girl. Two different painkillers, the recipe for the super-awesome-cure-all-wonder soup her family always makes whenever illness hits, some medicinal African herbs to make tea with, and some soothing lozenges for sore throats. That should be everything.

Once she grabs her phone, jacket, and charger, she takes her bike from the garage, since her parents took the car to some convention thing. She texts them to let them know where she’s going and heads out.

————-

She’s so distracted worrying about Janis she doesn’t even notice where she is until she arrives at Janis’ place, hiding her bike around the side of the house and taking the key from the frog.

She heads up to Janis’ bedroom, finding her in the dark, huddled under several blankets, and with Pancakes resting protectively at the foot of her bed. Janis looks half-dead, her skin is pale and flushed pink with the fever, and her eyes are glassy and fogged over. She’s clammy and burning hot to the touch, and clearly in a great deal of pain.

“Oh, mpenzi,” Cady breathes. “My poor love. How long have you been feeling so bad?”

“It hit me on Thursday when I went to bed. I woke up yesterday and my throat felt like it had shards of glass in it,” Janis croaks out a whisper.

“You poor thing,” Cady strokes a hand through her sweaty hair, Janis leaning into her cool touch. “Have you taken your antibiotics yet today?”

Janis shakes her head. “Haven’t had enough energy to get water,” she explains.

“Shh, Jellybean, don’t try to talk, you’ll just hurt yourself more. I’m guessing you haven’t had breakfast either?” Janis shakes her head again, wincing at the mere idea of swallowing anything. “I know, darling, but you still need to eat. I’ll make something that won’t hurt too bad, okay? I’ll be right back.” She tucks Janis in a little tighter and heads down to the kitchen.

The Sarkisians don’t have a lot in their fridge, but enough that Cady can scrape up a decent breakfast. She makes some quick scrambled eggs and grabs a banana, those are both healthy and easy to swallow. Pancakes hasn’t been fed either, so she fills his bowl with some food for him to find before she fills a cup with cold water and heads back up to her love.

-

Janis is now lying on top of all of her covers, the fever changing her temperature every minute. “Here, mpendwa. The other pills are just ibuprofen, it’ll bring your fever down and help with the pain,” Cady says as she pours out one of Janis’ antibiotic pills and some painkillers.

Janis swallows everything obediently, grimacing at the sensation in her throat when they go down. “My poor sickie,” Cady says sadly, handing Janis the plate of breakfast. She must be totally miserable, she would usually protest absolutely everything happening. Janis hates feeling useless. “Can I draw you a bath, Jellybean? It might help your temperature. It’d make you feel less gross, too.”

Janis nods happily, excited at the idea of a comforting soak. She takes a small bite of her eggs, wincing again as she swallows. Cady kisses her burning forehead gently and heads to the bathroom, spying a bottle of lavender bubble bath. She turns the tap, filling the tub with lukewarm water. If it’s too hot, Janis’ temperature will go too high, but if it’s too cold it will just be uncomfortable for her. She uses entirely too much bubble soap, causing a large wall of foam to rise above the water level. Oh well, Janis loves lavender anyway.

Janis is just finishing her meal as Cady heads back to her bedroom, nibbling slowly at her banana. “It’s ready whenever you are, Jay. Do you want me to stay with you or wait in here?” Janis points to herself. “Okay. Has the medicine started working yet?”

Janis nods, standing slowly and throwing her banana peel away. She tries to walk over to where Cady is waiting by the door, but her knees buckle just before she can make it. Cady lunges to catch her before she hits the ground, pulling her back upright again. “Hate this,” Janis grumbles weakly.

“I know, my love. You’ll feel better once those antibiotics actually start working, I promise. Um, I put in a little too much soap,” Cady mutters once she’s managed to half-drag Janis to the bathroom. Janis chuckles weakly at the tower of bubbles, slowly stripping off her clothes and stepping in.

Cady scoops some of the foam and rests it on top of Janis’ head, giving her a bubble hat. “You’re so cute,” she teases. Janis just huffs, pouting and crossing her arms under the water. “Yes, I know, you’re my tough punk protector. But you’re also adorable.”

Janis shoots her a look that says “I can live with that, but I’m not happy about it.”

“Let me go grab you a towel and some clothes to change into and then I’ll wash your hair, I know you love that. Try not to drown,” Cady jokes, heading back towards Janis’ room. She folds back the blankets to allow the sheets to air before she grabs some comfy shorts and fuzzy socks, a thin tank top, and a hoodie to go over it from her dresser.

She bursts out laughing when she comes back, finding her girlfriend with the bubbles still on top of her head sunk down into the tub so that only her eyes and nose peek out from the mound of foam. “Alright, sit up for me, lovely.”

Janis emerges from the bubbles slowly, as Cady lathers her hands up with Janis’ signature apple shampoo. Once she starts massaging it into Janis’ dark roots, her eyes flutter shut and she gives a contented purr. “You’re just like Pancakes. You both love having your heads scratched.”

“He doesn’t like baths,” Janis says quietly. “And he’s a little bitch.”

“Janis! He’s your son, don’t be mean. He was guarding you when I got here,” Cady chides jokingly.

“He bit my toes! I was napping!” Janis insists hoarsely.

“Okay, that was mean of him. Look up and close your eyes,” Cady says, tipping her chin up and scooping water to rinse the soap out of her hair. Janis gives a pleased shudder at the warmth cascading over her head.

She goes for the conditioner next, squeezing out a little more than she needs and warming it in her hands before stroking it through the blonde ends of her girlfriend’s hair. She works it up from the bottom slowly, the excess giving her a reason to massage Janis’ scalp again. Anything to make her feel a little better.

Once that’s done, Janis lowers herself back into the cooling water, exhausted just from holding herself upright for so long. Cady gives her a moment to rest, telling her some stories of things she missed during school the day before.

“Did you know the way the football team hazes new people is with a taser?” Cady asks, prompting Janis to pop an eye open curiously. “One of the guys who sits next to me in sociology was talking about it. One of the other seniors has one and they tase all the freshmen on the ass when they first join the team.”

They both start giggling at that, Janis in particular getting a vindictive joy imagining the same jocks who used to shove her in lockers getting their asses shocked.

“And obviously your natural instinct is to move away from it, and he said the guy with the taser just kind of follows them with it,” Cady says, making them both laugh harder. “Like, they keep leaning or running away and he just goes with them.”

“That’s great,” Janis whispers. She pauses and then says, “I’m cold.”

“Do you want me to come in with you?” Cady asks. “Or do you want to get out?”

Janis nodded at the first bit and points to her once she finishes speaking. All she really wants is to be held. Cady goes quickly to fetch another towel for herself, coming back and taking her clothes off. She ties her hair up so it won’t get wet and slides into the tub behind her.

“Ooh, it is cold in here now,” Cady says quickly, adding just a touch more hot water to boost the temperature back up. Janis leans back against her and turns her head to tuck her face into her neck, inhaling her comforting scent of rosewater perfume. “Is this better?”

Janis just nods, trying to relax and ignore the burning in her throat. “Another story?” she whispers quietly, glad she’s so close to her girlfriend’s ear and doesn’t have to strain her voice.

“Sure, Jellybean. Let me think... did I ever tell you about the time a lion broke into my tent?” Cady asks, running her fingers through Janis’ wet hair and gently separating a few tangles. Janis shakes her head. “I was nine, I think. Some new cubs had just been born on the reserve and I got to help with the newborns every now and again. One got really attached to me, followed me everywhere like a little puppy. She was kind of the closest I could get to a pet.”

Janis looks very interested in the story. She always does, she loves Cady’s Kenya tales.

“Anyway, one night I was asleep and I remember being a lot warmer than usual, like I had an extra blanket or something, and I couldn’t move as much in my cot. I woke up in the morning cuddling this baby lion. She’d managed to hook the zipper on one of her teeth to get the flap open and just plopped herself right in my arms. I was lucky her mom didn’t eat me. They’re very protective, but she was just laying outside waiting for the cub,” Cady giggles at the memory.

“That’s cute. What was her name?” Janis whispers.

“Louise. My dad named them. They were supposed to be named Lewis and Clark because they were the first ones that would be living in a new area of the reserve, like the first explorers. But they turned out to both be female, so we called them Louise and Clarke instead,” Cady says. “I miss them. I think those two were my favorite.”

“You’ll have to introduce me someday,” Janis mumbles sleepily. “Can we get out now please? I’m cold again.”

“Okay, Jay. Here,” Cady hands her the cushy towel and pulls the drain in the tub, helping her to stand. “Your clothes are here.”

She dries herself off quickly and tugs her old clothes back on, Janis trudging through her aches and fatigue to dry herself and pull on her clean clothes. Once she manages, Cady leads them back to the bedroom, preemptively taking a hold of her girlfriend so she doesn’t fall over again.

“Do you want lunch, Jayjay?” Cady asks, wrapping a towel around Janis’ head so her hair doesn’t get her clothes wet. Janis shakes her head, popping one of the lozenges Cady brought into her mouth before flopping back down on her bed. “Nothing? You have mac and cheese.”

Janis pokes her head up at that, apparently having reconsidered. She hadn’t eaten at all yesterday, so she’s actually quite hungry, despite the pain in her throat. “Okay, take your temperature while I’m gone. I’ll be back in a minute.”

————

Pancakes follows her back to the kitchen, and Cady gives him one of his ‘diet’ treats and some pets for helping to take care of Janis. “Good boy. But stop biting Janis’ toes, you little perv. She’s sick.”

She decides to make the tea with the herbs she brought to go with their lunch. Janis isn’t a big fan of tea unless it’s super fruity, so she adds a lot of milk and sugar to the mug to cover some of the earthy flavor. She also adds honey, having to psych herself into grabbing the bottle and squeezing the sticky stuff into the mug, grimacing at the goo on the bottle and washing her hands quickly afterwards.

-

Janis was apparently waiting for her the whole time she was cooking, lying on her bed watching the door with her sad brown eyes. “I love you,” she croaks when Cady comes back in.

“I love you too, my bluejay. What was your temperature?” Cady hands her the warm bowl and rests the mug on her nightstand. Janis shows her the thermometer, the little screen glowing yellow and showing 99.0. “It’s gone down a little, the bath must have helped.”

Janis reaches for the mug, taking a cautious sip of the warm tea.

“Good?” Cady asks, coming to sit behind her with a hairbrush and some hair ties. Janis nods.

“You put honey in it?” She whispers, sounding a bit pained. “Good job.” Cady struggles with certain textures to the point of nearly fearing them, honey being the worst. Imagining touching honey gives her almost the same reaction as imagining watching someone break a bone.

“I did. You owe me for that,” Cady teases jokingly, gently brushing out Janis’ damp hair and twisting it back into two Dutch braids, slightly challenged by her side shave but managing regardless. “Now your hair will be all curly like mine.”

Janis touches one of the braids, playing with the elastic at the bottom. She points to her desk, where Cady sees a notebook resting. She goes to grab it and a pen; Janis’ throat must be hurting too much to speak again.

“When did you learn how to braid like this?” Janis writes.

“I did it a lot in Kenya, and Damian helped me practice and taught me new stuff. He lets me practice on a wig he has. It’s fun,” Cady explains. Janis gives a nod of understanding. Cady realizes something after a second. “Hey, do you want to learn some more sign language? Now is kind of a perfect time.”

Another nod. “Okay, write down something you need or want and I’ll show you the sign for it.”

Janis writes, “Snuggles?” and blinks at her hopefully.

“Aww. Of course, mpenzi. That looks like this, by the way,” Cady says, making a sort of peace sign with her first two fingers bent back, resting it on the back of her other hand. Janis copies the motion, raising an eyebrow curiously. “Yeah, just bend your wrist back a little more. There! Okay, you can take some more medicine and come here.”

Janis swallows a few tylenol with what’s left of her tea before letting Cady pull her in. Cady lies on her back, pulling Janis to rest on top of her with her head on her shoulder and face tucked into her neck. “Comfy?”

Janis nods. “Will you read to me?” She mumbles shyly.

“Sure, my love. Which one?”

Janis leans over to grab Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children from her nightstand before cuddling back into her. Cady kicks the blanket up over them with her feet, tugging it tightly around her girlfriend’s shoulders as she opens the book.

“I had just come to accept that my life would be ordinary when extraordinary things began to happen.” Cady reads, Janis listening intently even though she’s read it several times before.

Cady kisses her still-warm forehead gently before continuing. By the time Jacob winds up in Wales, Janis’ breathing evens out and she can hear a faint whistling sound with every breath. She dog-ears the page (knowing that Janis is very pro-dog earing) and continues reading silently to herself as she eats her own lunch; it’s an interesting story. Once the light from the setting sun just barely starts stealing in through the window, Cady decides to get started making the soup.

She very delicately shifts Janis off of her and tucks her in again, Janis grumbling crankily in her sleep for a second at the removal of cuddles. Cady leans in and pecks her nose before she goes, giggling quietly as it crinkles like a bunny’s.

She pads down to the kitchen quietly to work on the soup, tiptoeing so as not to wake Janis. The Heron’s super-awesome-cure-all-wonder soup is actually just chicken noodle soup, but a really delicious homemade variety with some extra spices. Cady is lucky Juliana likes to cook, they have everything she needs except the chicken and vegetables.

She decides to check with Damian first, he lives closer than the grocery store is and she doesn’t want to leave Janis alone for too long.

africabytoto: Hey Damian, do you happen to have any chicken and carrots and celery at your place? Janis is sick and I wanna make her some soup 📷 all she has is dino nuggets and frozen peas

sashafierce: Aww poor Jan

sashafierce: Let me check. What did she catch?

africabytoto: Strep throat. She’s miserable, I hate to see her like this 📷

sashafierce: She got strep all the time when we were kids, she hasn’t had it in a while. Poor thing :(

sashafierce: You’re in luck little slice, we do indeed have your poultry and veggies

africabytoto: Oh yay thank you!!!!!! I’ll be over soon, I just need to write her a note in case she wakes up

sashafierce: Sounds good :))))

-

Cady scrawls “Went to grab some ingredients for your dinner, be back soon. Text if you need anything, love C xx” on a post it note and sticks it to Janis’ bedside table, kissing her forehead gently. She feels a little cooler now, so the medicine must have finally kicked in again.

She grabs her bike from and heads over to Damian’s house, finding him waiting for her on the porch with a bag of goodies. He stands from his chair when he sees her, coming to wrap her in a hug.

“How is she?”

“She’ll be okay. She’s really weak right now and still in a lot of pain, but she should be feeling a lot better by tomorrow,” Cady answers, peeking into the bag. Ooh, ice cream.

“Poor Jan. She got strep all the time when we were little. Turns out she just had giant tonsils, she had them removed the day after her mom finally took her to a specialist in second grade. She hasn’t gotten it since, until now,” Damian explains, letting Cady go.

“I hate seeing her like this. She’s so tired and weak. But she is extra cuddly today, that’s been nice,” Cady says sadly.

“She always is when she’s sick. The only thing that makes her feel any better is being held, and then she pretends like it never happened once she’s better. She has to ‘maintain her image’.” Damian says, doing air quotes at the end.

“Sounds like her,” Cady giggles. Janis’ punk image was checked at the door when they got together, but she still clings to it desperately. “I should get back before too much longer. Thank you for this, I owe you one.”

“No you don’t, just tell her I said to get better and give her a hug for me. See you on Monday, Cads.” Damian says as he hugs her one more time and hands her the bag, heading back into his house.

————

Once Cady has pedaled back to Janis’ house, she heads up to her bedroom to check if she’s woken up yet.

Turns out she hasn’t, but she’s tossed her covers away and is spooning poor Pancakes, who looks like he’s just barely tolerating the affection. Cady goes to give him some scritches when she spots the tip of his tail flicking in annoyance, trying to coax him to stay.

She pecks Janis on the forehead again, frowning at the heat she feels. She scraps the note she wrote now that she’s returned, writing a new one explaining that she’s downstairs if Janis wakes up and needs something.

-

She decides to do the dishes first, scrubbing out the plates and cups as well as the pan and pot she’s used so far today. She probably should have done it earlier, but Janis needed her more.

Once that’s handled, she starts prepping the chicken and veggies, cutting the vegetables into bite-sized chunks and seasoning everything with the various spices. It’s designed to have enough flavor to taste even through a stuffy nose, so it takes a lot of seasoning.

She seasons the chicken broth as well, adding in the noodles and vegetables to boil. Pancakes comes trotting down the stairs once she puts the chicken into a pan to start cooking, licking his fur back into place after Janis’ rather aggressive cuddle session.

“Hi Pancakes, did Janis finally let you go?” Cady asks, checking the time on the microwave. “It’s your dinner time, too, let’s get you fed. Not that you need it, chunky.”

She picks up his bowl and scoops some of his food out of the can, giggling as he brushes against her legs and purrs very loudly. “I’m going as fast as I can, calm down.”

He dives in once she puts his bowl back down, munching happily on his salmon and turkey paté. Gross.

Cady cuts up the now-cooked chicken into small chunks, adding it to the pot and giving everything a stir. Pancakes hops up on the counter next to the stove once he’s finished his meal, sniffing curiously at the steam coming from the pot.

“Get down, young man. You had your dinner, this is for Janis,” Cady scolds jokingly, scooping him off the counter and back onto the ground. “I’d give you some, but the spices aren’t good for your tummy.”

She ladles the soup into two bowls once it’s finished, cleaning the dishes she used right away since Janis is still asleep. She finds a tray in one of the cabinets, grabbing it so she doesn’t have to carry  everything up in her hands.

The soup is warm, so Cady gets some apple juice from the fridge so Janis can have something cold to go with it. She makes extra sure that Pancakes isn’t around her feet before picking the tray up and heading back up to her girlfriend.

-

Janis is still asleep, on her back now and shivering slightly. Cady frowns, resting the tray on her dresser and heading to wake her. She brushes her thumb against Janis’ cheek gently, leaning down to kiss her forehead a few times. Janis’ eyes flutter open at the attention, and she gives a pained sigh.

“Hi, lovey. How are you feeling?” Cady asks gently, handing her the thermometer to check her fever. Janis gives her the saddest look and a thumbs down, obediently sticking the thermometer under her tongue. “Worse than earlier?”

Janis nods as the thermometer beeps, pulling it out as it blinks red at her. 102 degrees. Cady frowns at it before shutting it off and putting it back on Janis’ nightstand.

“I made you soup, it’s my family’s secret recipe,” Cady says quietly, as Janis seems to be showing signs of a headache. Janis perks up slightly at the mention of soup, looking around for it. Cady goes to grab the tray, settling in next to her and taking her own bowl.

“This is good. I’ve never had homemade soup,” Janis whispers hoarsely.

“Never?”

Janis shakes her head. “I always got the canned stuff.”

“Well now you have me. I’ll make you soup whenever you need it,” Cady says, leaning over to peck Janis’ forehead. “You should take your hoodie off. You’re burning up, my love.”

“I’m freezing,” Janis responds in her notebook, having leaned over to grab it off the nightstand.

“Freezing looks like this, in sign,” Cady says, holding both hands out in front of her and curling her fingers slightly at the knuckles. “The soup will help warm you up, you’re going to cook yourself if you keep your shirt on.”

Janis pouts but pulls it off, being careful not to knock her bowl. Cady finishes hers and leaves to go get a cool cloth. It’s still too early for Janis to have another dose of medicine, so she’ll have to bring her temperature down a bit the old fashioned way.

Janis has finished her dinner by the time she comes back, sipping carefully at the juice and wincing slightly with every swallow. She perks up when she sees Cady come back, finishing off the glass and resting it back on the tray.

Janis does the sign for snuggles again, blinking sadly at her. Damian did say it’s practically all that helps.

“Let me go clean these dishes, and then I’ll come back and cuddle you, I promise. Rest this on the back of your neck,” Cady says, handing her the damp cloth. Janis takes it and stands, the soup having given her just enough strength to get herself to the bathroom.

Cady takes everything back down and rushes through scrubbing them clean, leaving them to dry in the rack instead of doing it by hand before hurrying back upstairs. Janis has returned by then, looking so small curled up under her blankets.

Cady crawls in next to her, and Janis shifts to sit on her lap and cuddle into her shoulder. Cady rubs her slightly sweaty back gently, leaning down to kiss her cheek and adjust the cloth on her neck.

They sit there for a while in peaceful silence, until Cady feels tears soak into her shirt and hears a quiet sniffle. “Oh, Jellybean, what’s wrong?” She asks sadly, holding her girl closer.

“Don’t feel good. Hurts,” Janis whines hoarsely, letting out a whimper of pain. Janis cries a fair amount, but almost never from physical pain. She must be feeling miserable.

“Oh, mpendwa, I’m sorry. I wish I could do more for you,” Cady says sadly. “My poor love.”

“Medicine?” Janis asks quietly with another whimper.

“You can’t take any more yet, it’s not safe. Just a little longer,” Cady tries to comfort gently. Janis chokes out a sob at finding out she can’t take anything more yet, and has to continue dealing with the pain on her own.

“Please?” She begs.

“I’m sorry, Jellybean. You’ll get sicker if you take more. Shh, lovey, you’ll make yourself feel worse if you cry, shh.” Cady squeezes her tighter, rubbing her back again. “Damian gave me some ice cream for you when I went to get the stuff to make your soup, would that help?”

“What kind?” Janis asks tearfully.

“That really good caramel stuff you like,” Cady answers, wiping her tears gently. “Do you want me to go get it?”

Janis thinks for a second, wanting the ice cream to help her pain but not wanting her Caddy to go. She nods after a minute, scooting off her lap with a sniffle. “Hurry back?” She whispers, blinking her watery brown eyes pitifully at Cady.

“Always, my love. I’ll be right back,” Cady insists, kissing her red cheeks gently and leaving again.

True to her word, she comes rushing back in no more than forty-five seconds later, brandishing a pint of non-dairy ice cream and a spoon. She sits down again, pulling Janis back into her lap and opening the frozen treat. Desperate to do what little she can to help her girlfriend, Cady scoops some onto the spoon and holds it in front of Janis’ lips.

A testament to her illness, Janis accepts the spoon feeding without complaint. “You’re really feeling sick, hm? You almost never let me feed you,” Cady says, getting her another bite.

Janis just nods and nuzzles into her, opening her mouth again. She’s exhausted, it’s nice not having to exert herself. They continue this for a while, until about a quarter of the pint is gone and Janis puts the lid back on it gently.

“Did the cold help at all?” Cady asks, adjusting her grip on her as she leans to put the ice cream down. Janis nods and holds up her fingers in a pinch sign, signaling that it helped a little. “Good.”

Janis shuts her eyes and tries to rest as best she can, held securely in her girlfriend’s arms. Cady starts rubbing her back again and gently humming a lullaby, something Janis doesn’t quite recognize. She just cuddles in closer, nuzzling into Cady’s neck. She can’t quite fall asleep because her throat and head hurt so badly, but she gets close and rests there quietly for a while.

Cady kisses her forehead softly after about a half hour, telling her she can have more medicine now. She heads to fill up a glass with water and put the ice cream back in the freezer, handing Janis another dose of ibuprofen and another of her antibiotic pills once she comes back. Janis takes them thankfully, immediately swallowing them all down.

“I’m amazed you can swallow those with a throat infection, they’re absolutely massive,” Cady says, shocked at the size of the antibiotics. “I never understood that. Surely they should be small and easy for people to take.”

Janis nods her agreement, huddling under her blankets in a desperate search for warmth. “Stay over?” She asks pitifully.

“If you want, my love. Let me tell my parents and borrow some pjs,” Cady says, texting her parents that Janis is still very sick and needs her to stay, before grabbing a large t-shirt and some thin lounge pants from Janis’ dresser and changing quickly. She comes back once that’s done, pulling Janis back against her chest and kissing her forehead. “Get some rest, Bluejay. You should feel better tomorrow.”

Janis falls asleep once the medicine kicks in, held safely in Cady’s arms.

————-

When Cady wakes up the next morning, Janis is already looking much better. Her temperature is almost normal and she’s gotten some color back. She’d woken up a few times in the night, needing more medicine for her pain before falling quickly back asleep, but it seems to have done its job well.

Janis’ brown doe eyes blink open after a few minutes, the fogginess cleared and the beautiful shine back. She grins upon seeing Cady looking at her, stretching and giving a yawn. “Hi.” Janis says, sounding much less hoarse and pained.

“Hi,” Cady responds, kissing her nose softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. Still not totally back, but better,” Janis says softly, protecting her recently returned voice.

“Good. I missed your smile,” Cady says. “I liked the extra cuddles though. That was the only good part.”

Janis chuckles. “Thank you for taking care of me. I know I’m annoying when I’m sick. I get so clingy. Whiny.”

“Love, you were absolutely miserable yesterday, you’re allowed to be clingy and whiny. I liked taking care of you, I just didn’t like seeing you hurt so badly,” Cady chides gently.

“I love you,” Janis cuddles back into her, kissing the spot on her chest she can reach. “You’re the best medicine.”

“I love you too. I’ll always be around to take care of you.”

-

thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. please let me know what you thought!

first request fill is coming next week!

lots of love,

ezzy

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

*sings* the family REUNION

A/N: A nice Klaus x Topazi. I’m projecting, and this is also comfort for me right now xx. I’m sick of this country, I want to get the fuck out, but I can’t, so this is what’s happened. I’ve thought about writing this one before, but I think what we all need right now is some tenderness and warmth, so what better way to do it than through fanfiction. This is the first time I’ve written for an OC, and I like it so far. This was initially for a black reader, then I thought, literally today “oh topazi” so here we are.

Warnings: food (and lots of it), mild drink, knowing myself small mentions of racism, mention of sex

Cheeky Tag List: @misskittysmagicportal, @super-unpredictable98, @badsext, @sean-falco, @the-freckled-luba, @iamsexytrash, @crabstick, @robertsheehanownsmyass, @frogs--are--bitches, @seancekitsch

“KLAUS, COME ON, I CAN’T BE LATE” Topazi yelled through the house, checking herself in the mirror one last time before springing to where Klaus was.

 He was sitting on the kitchen island, nibbling on some chips. His feet tapped against the counter every other second.

“I told you, don’t eat yet, you won’t want to eat before we get there and that’s forbidden fruit sir.” she sternly stated, fauxly crossing her arms at him.

“Fine, by the way, your pasta salad is amazing.” he said, making a small chef’s kiss motion with his hands.

  Topazi facepalmed as Klaus kissed her cheek, and he walked to the door and put his sandles on. Jesus sandles, actually. To spent hours making two tins of pasta salad, and he ate almost a full corner of it. He must’ve eaten some of it while she was in the bathroom, or when she was lightly scolding the cats for disturbing the resident mice. She rolled her eyes and packed into the car, but not before saying goodbye to the houseplants.

“How long is the drive supposed to be?” Klaus asked, long limbs extending in the car.

“Just about an hour. It won’t be long, trust me. You’ll wish the drive was even shorter when you get there too.” she said, smiling and Klaus grinned back at her, and he kissed her once more before shuffling over more to his side of the car.

  About 45 minutes of time passed, and during that time, Klaus had opened a plethora of tangents, including pegging, ketchup being a smoothie (to him), why he doesn’t personally trust roaches(they just look weird, and they live forever), as well as why it took so long for him to cut that god-awful beard. All the while T was swerving in lanes, and glancing every now and then at the clock in the car. Klaus sat guzzling water while talking, and she knew the question was going to come up at some point, so she slapped her big girl panties on and took it.

“Are we there yet?” Klaus asked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. His stomach was poking out, but just barely, and Topazi sighed heavily.

“Klaus, come on. We’ve got a little less than 20 minutes left, it’s not my fault you drank all that water.”  she said, half stern, half jokingly.

“But I have to gooo. Can’t you pull over or something?” he whines, puppy dog eyes showing.

‘We’re on a highway, Klaus.” she muttered, gritting her teeth before pulling into a lane. That caused him to cross his legs, and close his eyes, groaning.

“Please, I really have to go. I’ll try to repay the favor when I can, I promise.” he begs, hands covering his crotch. T thought about it for a moment, and she’d been meaning to have Klaus eat her out again, so why not. She reached in the back and pulled out an empty bottle, and he picked it from her hands.

“I’ve been meaning to do this for a while.” he says, turning away from her and she gagged lightly, but at least he didn’t wet his pants....this time.

Topazi continued to drive for the promised 20 minutes, and she arrived at her parent’s house, cars already piling onto the lawn. Klaus quickly headed to the trash can outside, and threw the bottle away, getting sanitizer from the car. She grabbed a tin of the pasta salad, as well as Klaus, and he followed her to the front of the house.

“Are they even going to like me?” Klaus mumbled, eyebrows scrunching. They’d  had discussions about it before, and his worry was extremely valid. She didn’t want Klaus to feel left out, or bad about anything. He was still a really good lover. He’d voiced his concerns multiple times, and time and time again, she reassured him.

“You’ll be fine. If they say one thing you’re uncomfortable with, I won’t hesitate to leave this place and drive all the way back. You know that.” T replied, using a hand to softly rub his cheek. He leaned into her touch, and the door opened, right as she was reaching for the doorbell for a second ring.

“Hi! Come on it! And you bought a guest, who is this?” Alena asked, ushering her daughter and guest into the house.

“Mom, this is my partner Klaus. Also, pasta salad, which is getting warm as we speak, so let me set it down.” Topazi rushed into the kitchen, shuffling quickly into the house, Klaus bumbling after her, looking around. She opened the fridge and shoved her dish in, gently patting it before stretching mildly, an aftereffect of staying in one spot.

  T walked back over to Klaus and he smiled at her mom, who was walking him outside to meet the rest of the family. She followed closely behind, and she noticed him getting more and more comfortable. He went around meeting everyone and shaking their hands, or hugging them. T met up with her siblings, hugging them, and letting her nieces and nephews up on her hips. She played with them and chatted for a while, and Klaus came back to her, almost skipping.

“Did you know that your dad served in the Army?” Klaus asked her, a small sparkle in his eye.

“Klaus....he’s my dad. Why wouldn’t I know?” she replied, tilting her head to the side. She giggled at his look, and her siblings noticed him, and gave him a collective small rundown. She did argue with her siblings a fuck ton, but they always tended to come to her aid if needed.

  Klaus went around and introduced himself to T’s aunt that just came in, and she giggled as he was almost crushed by the force of her hug. She patted his back and looked him up and down.

“Goodness, you need somethin’ to eat, one more gust of wind, we won’t see you ‘til Christmas!” she stated, shaking her head jokingly.

  He giggled at the effort, and prodded about needing to go to a chiropractor. She cackled, and he went back to T, placing a tiny kiss to her cheek.

“This is going surprisingly well, what the fuuuck?!” he whispered, and she wrapped her arms around him, and hugged him. He placed his chin on top of her head and sighed in her touch. The moment, however, was short lived, as one of Topazi’s nieces came between them and giggled around their ankles, and Klaus picked one of them up, asking their name.

  She was pleasantly shocked at his reaction with the kids, and soon enough, the two of them were running in the yard, playing tag. She was currently in the lead, and her siblings were bounding towards her, waiting for there to be a chance to tackle her. Klaus came up from behind her and tackled her, causing the both of them to crash to the ground.

“Oh come on, that’s nowhere near fair!” she yelled, trying to wiggle away from him. He looked into her eyes, and pecked her lips. They sighed against each other and the sun baked their skin. Klaus eventually rolled off of T, and just as they were getting hungry, dinner was called.

  She ran to the backyard, dress billowing behind her, Klaus in tow, and she washed her hands before getting in line. Her mouth simply watered at the selection of southern food placed in front of her. Klaus was somewhat surprised at everything, but welcomed it happily when confronted with....wait a minute....sweet potatoes with cherries?? Topazi laughed at him, and promised to explain it to him once they sat down. Your family, and you could practically hear their thoughts “Shouldn’t he get more?”. It half sickened her to think of that though, so she found a lawn chair to sit in, carefully placing it to avoid the ant beds and tree roots.

“Okay so, what the fuck is with the sweet potatoes?” Klaus asked, shoving a spoonful of potato salad in his mouth.

“They’re called candied yams. The cherries help them become sweeter. And don’t take the fucking breadcrumbs off the mac and cheese. I’ll slaughter you, that’s the best part.” T whispered, slowly becoming more and more full.

  She went back for another serving (or two) and stopped at dessert, which was provided graciously. Many cakes and pies laid in front of her, as well as tarts, and, wait, who the fuck brought Krispy Kreme?

“Who got lazy?” she mumbled, walking back to Klaus with her plate full of sweets, and she immediately took a bite from the glazed donut, eyes closing. “Still warm though.”

“I mean, Honey only taught me to make a couple things, and donuts weren’t one of them.” he stated, sipping his tea.

  The sun began to set, and the drinks started pouring. The stories began to filter out, and Topazi saw Klaus start to nod off, and she announced their leaving. He sleepily said his goodbyes and when they got into the car, Klaus knocked out almost immediately. The drive home was very quiet. Music played quietly on the radio, and T hummed along quietly. Klaus shuffled every now and then in his sleep, and his breathing fogged the window on his side of the car. When they arrived home, Topazi gently woke Klaus, and he slowly made his way into the house, practically sleepwalking. As they were undressing and getting into bed, Klaus quietly whispered a couple words. Topazi barely heard him, and he repeated himself.

“Thank you for letting me meet your family. I enjoyed it. I’m happy I got to know the people who raised you. They did a damn good job too.” he whispered back, gently kissing Topazi’s head. She got a bit flustered from the compliment and gently thanked him as well, and the two of them fell asleep to the sound of their respective partner’s heartbeats.

Masterlist

[feverinfeveroutfic]

chapter eleven: the end of the world

The next morning was a cold, gray, and soggy one, but Sam had no intention on returning to Louie's apartment for another round that day: she had already packed her things in the back seat and she nestled down in the front seat with her arms folded across her chest and the lapels of her jacket pulled up to her ears. She had no hood or something to cover her head but she wished for one. She didn't want to be seen. Louie himself meanwhile, locked the door behind him and he headed down the steps. She looked on at him as he rounded the front end of the car and opened the door. She sighed through her nose as he climbed into the front seat.

“You okay?” he asked her in a low voice, and she nodded her head.

“Look—I was thinking about this last night before I fell asleep, too,” he started, “neither of us mean to inflame or kick up any old wounds with anyone. We're just—fooling around, messing around, you know?”

She gazed out the window right as he said that. She had nothing to say to that.

“If either of us made you uncomfortable—and I can tell we did—we didn't mean to. I didn't mean to, and I know Alex didn't mean to, either. And for that, I want to personally apologize to you for it.”

Sam never moved from her spot in the seat next to him. She couldn't hardly stop thinking about any of what went down the night before, such that it almost brought a tear to her eye.

“Also—I, uh—” he stammered and then he cleared his throat, “—hate to tell you this, but I'm kinda out of money.”

She turned her attention over to him and frowned.

“What do you mean you're out of money?” she demanded.

“I'm out of money,” he repeated, “well, for now anyway. Remember what I said yesterday, I had enough for breakfast and a cab?”

“Oh, right, right.” She hesitated. “So what's this mean?”

“Well, I have a full tank of fuel to start with,” he stated, to which she frowned and scoffed at that.

“Louie, we're not driving back to Elsinore from here—it's too far.” She was scorn.

“But the train already left, though,” he pointed out. “It's kind of overkill to fly on down to Elsinore, too.”

She sighed through her nose again.

“Don't really feel like driving through the valley, either,” he added.

“Yeah, it's boring as hell,” she said in a soft voice.

“Boring as hell and still hot as fuck, too,” he said, “at least here we have a bit of leeway with the San Francisco fog. Seven hours of nothin'.” He paused for a second. “We could take the coast.”

“That's longer, though,” she pointed out.

“Nicer, though,” he insisted.

“True. It's way nicer, actually.”

“Bet you've missed the Pacific Coast, too,” he said.

“I have—it's one of the many things I haven't been able to do like at all. Especially when I was growing up out here.”

“Really?” Louie was genuinely taken aback by that.

“Yeah.”

“Well, let's—” He set his hand on the ignition key and turned it. “Let's.”

Sam strapped herself in and Louie shook his head of hair about a bit.

“One thing I really wanted to do with Zelda,” he started again as he pulled on the parking lever, “when we were together was go on a road trip with her somewhere. I always considered driving from Providence down to some place like D.C., or go all the way down to like West Virginia. The two of us on a trip together and just hanging out together.”

“What kept you from doing it?” she asked him.

“Touring and making albums—and dealing with record company horse shit in her case—and in my case it was living a double life. There was no way I could do it, not with my other life in full swing.”

They pulled ahead and began up the block, around the cemetery and towards the block on the other side.

“So—I haven't really taken the Pacific Coast Highway much from my place so just kind of—like—bear with me here,” he sputtered.

“It's okay, it's okay.”

Louie glanced over at her at one point as they rolled up to a stoplight.

“You know—and I'm being perfectly honest with you here, Sam—I'm a little intimidated by you,” he confessed.

“You?” she asked him.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“I dunno,” he replied with a shake of his head, “but there's just something about you that completely intimidates me. Like it's hard for me to maintain composure when I'm near you.”

“There's no reason to be, though,” she promised him.

“But I feel it anyways, though. It could be because you made a bold move in moving across the country and back again, but I can't really say for sure.”

“Funny you say that 'cause you did that,” she pointed out.

“True. But see, you weren't living a double life like I was.”

“I mean, I kinda am now,” she assured him.

“How so?”

“Joey doesn't know about Bill. He also doesn't know that I'm hanging out with you guys, either. For the record, Bill doesn't know that I'm hanging out with you guys, either. It's like a triangle of sorts with me come to think of it.”

“A delta,” said Louie.

“A delta?”

“Yeah. You know the Greek letter delta?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah!”

“Apparently in the realm of science, it's symbolic of change. Like change in temperature or heat.”

“How do you know that?”

“I dunno if she's shown you this but Morgan—you know, Morgan from the Cherry Suicides—has this old chemistry textbook back at her place. She found it in the garbage believe it or not.”

“Something wrong about that,” Sam declared.

“Oh, yeah. Unless it's actually trash, books do not belong in the trash. But yeah, she found it and I just happened to prop it open one day, and I read a tidbit in a chapter about equations at one point.”

“Huh. Bill has a bunch of old books at his place—mostly old literature, but it's worth a peek, though. I keep meaning to crack them open but I'm not sure where to begin.”

The light turned green and Louie lunged ahead on the street. The clouds hung even lower over them as he merged lanes and they headed for the 880 Freeway. To the right of them was the stretch of gray waters that made up the very Bay itself.

“If you ever come back up here this way,” he started again, “you know you're in a car on the P.C.H., you've got to cross the Golden Gate Bridge at some point. There's just—something majestic about it, even if you've lived here your whole life like the five of us. Well, four of us, anyway, unless Chuck was telling a fib about where he was born. This will take us right by Santa Clara and down to the interchange in San Jose, which'll in turn take us all the way down the coastline to the City of Angels.”

Sam nodded her head and she peered out the windshield to the gray overhead. To think that the assumption with the California coast was all bright sunshine and infinite beaches: it made her laugh the more in which she thought about it.

“What's even the deal with him, anyway?” Louie asked her out of the blue.

“Who, Bill?” She looked over at him with her eyebrows knitted together and he took a glimpse over at her.

“Yeah.”

“Well,” she began, “I mean, you were sitting right there when I called Chuck and told him what was going on.”

“Pff, how could I forget? But what I'm asking is—is there like a time limit with him? Like you signed a marriage contract plus a prenup but surely someone over at the school has to figure that out at some point because it's totally illegal. Setting you up like that and forcing you into something that you had no desire to get into and then threatening a whole bunch of bullshit with you like locking you in your room and forbidding you from going out and visiting people.”

“Well, when I first came out here and I spoke to Marla over the phone—you know, she's been trying to get a job and she finally did with Belinda up in Albany. But she went to the school and she told them that he was still on the payroll. He got fired, Louie, but there was some weird glitch of some sort so he still got paid and he got paid a lot of money, too. So he was able to afford that large house and care for his daughters, such that he enlisted them in a private school.”

“So he loses his paycheck, he's fucked, basically,” he followed along.

“Yeah. Unless he got something to help him out when we weren't looking, he's probably got to pull the girls out of school and sell the house.”

“And what happens to you if and when that happens?” he asked her.

“I—” She froze. Louie glanced over at her with his eyebrows raised. “I—don't know. Oh, wait!” She snapped her fingers.

“What's that?”

“My mom's moving down to the Southland soon. Where exactly is another question, though. She might be going out to Catalina or she might be going to San Pedro, I dunno.”

“Or you can go back to Joey,” he pointed out. “You know, make things easier on your mom. It's another cross country, for sure, but I feel it'd be more beneficial to take that risk again and go with him rather than put extra pressure on your mom like that. But that's my opinion, though. You do whatever you want.”

“There should be a way to null it, too,” she added.

“Yeah, being in a car with another dude,” he joked, and that brought a laugh out of her.

Within time, signs for the interchange came into their view and Louie took the next exit which looped around and met up with the Pacific Coast Highway. Right as they matched up with the pavement, the clouds over them swirled about like the old feathers or the wisps of paint mixed into the wash for a watercolor project. She looked out to the low hills off to the right, all of them different shades of green and yellow. All of them still that rich green despite the late summer. All of them still rich dark green despite the yellow dead grass everywhere. The clouds overhead beckoned rain but at the same time waned away from the coast line.

Such a strange position to be in as was the state of California, but that pocket there, the hills that followed her and Louie all along the highway on that lengthy seven hour drive, reminded her of that special place.

The quiet place. The spot that she and Charlie had found together and the place where she and Joey visited during their final days together.

“This is almost like the precious part of California,” she noted aloud.

“Nah, the eastern Sierra is the precious part of California in my opinion,” he said. “There's something lonely and ancient about the eastern Sierra Nevadas.”

“This whole area here reminds me of a place that Charlie and I found together when they were making the Stormtroopers of Death album,” she followed up.

“Really?”

“It was like this little nook in the trees down the street from the studio,” she explained as she returned her attention to him. “We called it 'the quiet place' because you go in there and it's like completely untouched in comparison to everything else. You walk down the street and you have to duck underneath the trees as you're going in there.”

“Sounds like something you keep a secret,” he remarked.

“I told Joey about it, though,” she told him. “I imagine upstate being covered in places like that.”

“Places you go to that no one else knows about,” he followed along. “This part of California and the eastern Sierra is like that, too. Lots of nooks and crannies and what have you. Like there's a place outside of Salinas—I'll have to show it to you when we get there. It's closer to Monterey Bay, though, which means we'll have to leave this highway, though.”

“It's okay—it'll get us over to the ocean.”

“The ocean makes everything better,” he remarked.

The highway took them down past Morgan Hill and then Gilroy: at one point the road turned towards Monterey Bay; off in the distance loomed those cold dark gray waters that seemed to stretch on forever. The view enlarged as they came closer and closer to the next turn off and the 156: Louie told her it would take them to Highway 1, which would in turn take them to the place he had in mind. At that point, the clouds increased and everything grew dark despite it being almost ten o'clock in the morning.

“While we're over here, you don't mind spending a little money for breakfast, do you?” he asked her at one point.

“Not at all. I was just gonna ask you if you're hungry at all.”

He showed her a grin in response, and then he pointed out the windshield to the next sign up ahead: the town of Castroville as well as the turn off to Highway 1.

“So anyway, this place—it's over by the Salinas River, which eventually heads out to the ocean,” he explained. “When I first met Zelda, and I was waffling on if I wanted to go with her or stay with my concurrent girlfriend and our baby, I always came here. It always helped me clear my head to drive down here when the baby fell asleep and Zelda was back in Rhode Island. I remember staying down here for a full afternoon once. Like I didn't get back home until well after the sun went down. Needless to say, I almost got in trouble for that.”

She laughed at that, and he gave his long smooth hair a little toss back from his face and the side of his neck.

“And the highway will take us all the way down the coastline, too. Take us down to Big Sur and all around the coast, all the way down to San Simeon and Cambria, and then Morro Bay, and then that'll take us over to San Luis Obispo and that's where we meet up with 101 again.”

“And that'll take us all the way back to L.A., too.”

He nodded his head at that, and then Sam cleared her throat.

“I don't think I get Alex,” she confessed.

“A lot of people don't,” he assured her with a straight face.

“It's funny, he said the exact same thing to me,” she recalled. “Word for word.”

“Well, because it's true! A lot of people don't get Alex. That kid is a bundle of contradictions, many of which are not for the faint of heart. I've only known him for a few years but can confirm that, though. And what's mind blowing to me is he's completely aware of it, too. I remember the first time I got into an in-depth conversation with him a few years ago when Testament first formed and we were still Legacy. Sam, I never had such a worse headache.”

“Well, like. For example, when we were in Germany and he and I spent a whole day together—”

“And he missed the train?” he finished for her. “Chuck told me.”

“Yeah, he missed the train and he got upset with me when I tried to grab his attention and get him to come onboard. Then the fireball happened and he realized the error of his ways and we patched it up. And then, you know last night, he opened up the wound over Cliff with me.”

“The fireball happened and what exactly did he do there?”

“I put my arms around him and held him close to me,” she explained. “Wept like a baby right into my chest.”

“He probably liked to feel your chest,” he pointed out.

“What makes you think that?”

“Sam—he's nineteen, soon to be twenty. When I was nineteen, that was all I ever thought about were touching and feeling boobs and clits. We're horny bastards at that age, and I would imagine that he is especially, too. Alex is bit of a nerd—it's the whole thing about how girls don't really talk to nerds.”

“But he's a guitar player, though. I would imagine the girls getting all hot and bothered to guitar players.”

“Not Alex and not our crowds, no. He's like the thinking man's guitarist. I'm sure you've seen him before a television.”

“Oh, yeah, he's all over news reports whenever they come on. Well, I was with you guys in Boston and he and Greg were right before the TV in the room there.”

“Oh, yeah, that's right! But still—at the end of the day, even with his large brain and social scientist parents, he's still a guy. And he probably wanted to feel something soft and warm and comfy.” Louie glimpsed over at her. “You said he was scared, right?”

“Yeah. It was right when that big fireball went up. He just—came over to me and burst into tears at the sight of it. I held him so close to me and I let him weep into my chest.”

“Well—if you see him next time, really pay attention to his behavior towards you,” he advised her. “If he's actually sincere with you, then it's probably because he's confused and his inexperience is showing. If not, like if he gets close to you again, then don't bother with him for a second longer.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I'm saying is he either wants you for you or he's using you,” he explained. “I wish I could tell you more about it, but I'm not Alex, though. I can only tell you what I know from being in between two women for a couple of years.” He shook his hair again and then raked his fingers through one side: outside, the signs for Castroville emerged from the scraggly shrubs on either side of the road.

“I imagine him being soft and sweet, though,” he confessed in a low voice, such that it took her aback to hear that.

“Is—there something about him that you see with him?” she sputtered out as she took a glimpse over at him with a bewildered look on her face. Louie bowed his head and cleared his throat.

“Let me ask you a question,” he said as he leaned his head closer to her.

“Okay.”

“Does it bother you at all—” She could tell that he chose his words with care. “—when a guy finds another guy attractive and it's obvious he's not gay at all?”

She opened her mouth to say something to that, but no sound came out.

“Take as much time as you need to answer that, too,” he assured her, “—I asked Zelda this once and she really had to think about it.”

She thought of all the times that she made art while in class, and she thought of the time that she drew Marla in her journal. It wasn't until she really got to know Marla as well as Belinda when she began to see them as a couple of beautiful women. Indeed, as she thought about their willingness to help her out even while she had posted up out on the West Coast, the more she wondered if the whole thing extended further than their smooth New Yorker skin. Further than Marla's colorful hair and further than Belinda's soft doll like features. There was something more to Alex, much like there was something more to Louie in the seat there next to her, and there had to be something more to herself as well. More to them all, and the fact that she and Louie both had a quiet place, a place where they went that fell on blind eyes, was enough to give her a clue.

The hidden spots and everything in between. It was only the beginning.

And thus it only made sense to her to realize that it resided with everyone, including Alex himself.

“No,” she replied after a long while. “No, it doesn't bother me at all.”

“Okay,” Louie proclaimed as they rolled into Castroville. “Sometimes I look at Alex and I think, 'god, he's a really beautiful boy. I imagine being the perfect cuddler, like he must be adept to snuggling and feeling soft underneath a bunch of blankets.' Not necessarily sexy, although he does have a nice chest and thighs.”

“Nice arms, too,” she said in a soft voice.

“Yeah, he's got those really lanky strong guitar player arms.”

“Hey, you've got nice arms, too, Lewis,” she declared.

“Drummer arms.” He shook his right elbow about: his muscles were tight and sinewy.

“Reminds me of Joey's arms,” she said.

“Oh, yeah, that's right! He's a drummer, too.”

“Drummer and a hockey player.”

Louie took the first exit off into that small town and Sam volunteered to buy the both of them cups of coffee and a couple of scones for themselves: she took a chocolate one where he took a peach one for himself.

Within time, they climbed back into the car and Louie guided her over to the spot in question, right down by the Salinas River and where it widened out before it reached the ocean in small narrow fashion. It was there that the shades of yellow that followed them out of the Bay Area returned to that rich dark green that reminded her of New York. The space in the forest outside of the studio where she and Charlie ventured to together, and then she and Joey visited under a blanket of pure white snow.

“We all have a quiet place,” she declared.

“We really do,” Louie said as he sipped on his coffee.

“We all have a house and a home, even if it isn't physical,” she said.

“Yeah, we all have an attic. We all have secrets. We all have things that we show to everyone.”

“We all have things that we've buried—skeletons in the closet,” she muttered.

“And we all have a quiet place,” he added with a raise of his eyebrows.

He took the next right turn, one that brought them down the Salinas River and away from civilization. All the while, the ponderosa pines stretched high up into the sky around them, all up into those low dark swirling clouds that enveloped them in a blanket of coziness. Soon, the pavement gave way to gravel and broken pieces of pavement itself; and every so often, Sam spotted a series of shrubs all over the places, shrubs with little light pink and pearly white flowers.

“The rhododendrons are still in bloom I see,” Louie remarked.

“I don't think I've actually seen those before,” she confessed; the whole scenery made her think of the hole in the wall back in Ithaca. “They only grow here on the coast and in northern Nevada, we have all manner of pines and trees but nothing like this, though. Nothing as delicate and fluffy as those, though.”

“You guys get oleanders down in the Southland. I've seen those a number of times, they're quite lovely.”

“Oh, yeah. Only drawback with oleanders is they grow like weeds down there. Which is absolutely amazing to me because they're very poisonous.”

“At least it's not strychnine,” he told her. “Strychnine or—better yet deadly nightshade.” And Joey entered her mind right as that final word left his lips. “I don't even know if strychnine grows out here,” he continued.

“Yeah, I don't know, either...” Her voice trailed off at that. She thought about Joey and what he was doing right at that moment. They were still touring over in Europe and they were about to drop their brand new album in the meantime as well. If nothing else when she got back to Lake Elsinore, she had to pick up a copy of that.

She would have to search about for that familiar lettering: she knew it when she saw it.

“There should be a garden somewhere,” he continued, “one full of poison plants.”

“The most dangerous garden in the world,” she declared.

“We should literally call it that.”

“'We'?”

“'They', I should say,” he corrected himself; before them, the little road led to that wide part of the river. Big lush ponderosas as well as oak trees with large wide green leaves the size of dinner plates and tall narrow trees with high canopies surrounded them.

“I was just gonna say—do you really wanna go there, Louie?”

“Unless you wanna.” He tugged on the parking lever and switched off the car. “I ain't gonna do it unless you want to do it.”

“We gotta be careful, though,” she pointed out.

“Oh, absolutely. That's something that's just not for the faint of heart. The quintessential declaration of 'you can look but don't touch'. Might wanna throw in a 'for the love of god' in there, too. 'You can look but for the love of god, do not touch.'”

“'Welcome to Shelley and Clemente's poison garden,'” she declared with a gesture of her hand, “the most dangerous garden on Earth. We've got everything from strychnine to belladonna to oleanders to—whatever else we can find. Have it all together under one umbrella. You and me—we could retire off the profits.”

“You think people would actually pay money to see that?” he asked her, stunned.

“Yeah. People pay money to see the weirdest shit, Louie.”

“Case in point!” He gestured to himself.

“You guys aren't weird,” she assured him.

“Yes, we are. We're as weird as weird can possibly be.” He sipped on his coffee a bit more and then he unbuckled his seat belt. “Anyways, this is where I come to clear my head. I call this place 'the end of the world' 'cause it's far removed away from anything. It's only ten miles back to Castroville but—still.”

They both climbed out of there in unison; Sam peered up to the gray sky overhead and she took in the smell of the salt as it filtered in through the trees before them. The Salinas River flowed right next to the small stretch of gravel and partially collapsed pavement.

“This is like the perfect place for a poison garden,” she told him as he led her to the soft dark river bank.

“Oh, yeah, this lush soil here. Look up the plants and see what kind of environment they thrive in.”

“I do know oleanders like heat,” she told him, “it's why they're everywhere in the L.A. area and in the south, too.”

“Have a special greenhouse for those guys,” he continued as he held his cup of coffee close to his chest. “Kinda clean up the pavement behind us a bit so—Skolnick can drive around on it on his—golf—cart.”

“Shelley and Clemente's poison garden—featuring Alex Skolnick's golf cart.” She laughed at that and he laughed with her.

“Can you imagine Alex on a golf cart?” he asked her, and then he held out his arms, “'oh! Oh god! Oh god here we go!'” And he lowered his voice to where he almost matched Alex's tone.

“Four wheelin' on a golf cart,” she laughed some more.

“Hey, Alex! Take it easy, little man!” Louie lowered his voice to a near whisper. “There's stuff in here that'll kill you faster than you can say your middle name!” He shook his head and chuckled some more, and then he took another sip of his coffee.

“So what's the quiet place like?” he asked her as they neared the river's edge.

“In upstate?”

“Yeah.”

“It's about like this, without the river, of course. There was another spot that Joey and I went to when Stormtroopers were in Ithaca a few summers ago—right by the water's edge at the one lake—one of the Finger Lakes that's there. It kind of reminds me of that, like I'm getting the same feeling as that.”

They stopped at the water's edge and Sam leaned out a little bit for a view beyond the trees. The stretch of rich black and gray that was the Pacific Ocean, a mere stone's throw up ahead of them. Even though Louie had a different opinion, Sam couldn't help but feel that there was something prehistoric about this part of the river; something precious and untouched.

“Sometimes, when it's a bit sunnier out,” he started again, “I'll kneel down to the waters here and search around for insects and rocks and stuff. There's a lot of bizarre life here that's endemic only to this part of the river and as far as I know, the whole state.”

“Kind of like a 'keep it forever' sort of thing,” she noted.

“Exactly, right. Keep this whole place hidden away from the world so as to protect it from everything and everyone. Eastern Sierra is the same way. Exact same way.” He sipped on his coffee once again.

“C'mon, I think it's gonna rain—I feel it.”

They returned to the car and sure enough, as Louie fired it up again and they made a turn back at the dead end and proceeded back up the pavement, the first large drops of rain pattered on the roof and the windshield. It would be some time before they reached the Highway 1 once again, but once they did, Sam wondered as to how far they could go without seeing another sliver of civilization between Monterey Bay and the next spot on the coast.

To the left of them stood the high sea cliffs in all their withered and eroded glory, strong and high over their heads, much stronger and higher than the buildings back in New York City or Los Angeles or even San Francisco itself. To the right stood the ocean: the gray and black waters that went on forever into the horizon. Empty and cold, and cradled by the clouds over them. Everything gray and black.

Every so often, Sam peered down to the waves down below as they crashed on the rocks. She looked to the left once again: every so often in the cliffs, a minute ponderosa jutted out from the cracks as if it gasped for the fresh oceanic air. The coast line seemed to stretch on for infinity before them. She glanced over at Louie and the serene expression on his face.

He was her drummer in that moment.

She turned her attention back out to the ocean beyond them as they went around a corner. Maybe it was the lack of anything discernible on the cliffs or the fact that the ocean appearead so endless beyond them, but something about all of this made her squirm in her seat.

Louie's occasional peers down to the gages behind the steering wheel didn't help, either.

An eternity in such a small pocket of the coastline. They really were at the end of the world.

A sign emerged on the side of the road but she had no idea what it read.

“We probably should've stopped for gas in Castroville,” he told her at one point.

“Why, are we low?” she asked him as her heart skipped a beat.

“Sorta. I hope. I don't really know the economy on this thing—I don't really pay attention to that sort of thing.”

They rounded another corner and Louie drummed his fingers on the steering wheel: that time they had a full view of the ocean. The grand view of the waves as they welcomed her to the end of the world, and they were about to run out of gas as far as she knew right then.

Another sign emerged from behind the guard rail and that time she saw that they were ten miles from the central part of the coast.

“Mother fucker!” he spat under his breath.

“It's okay—we're almost to San Simeon,” she told him.

“Yeah, I know—I'm still kicking myself, though. We'll probably gonna coast there the rate we're going at right at the moment.”

“Seriously?” she demanded, shocked.

“Yeah!”

She closed her eyes and she thought of Joey over in Europe. The only thing that seemed worse than losing Cliff to a bus accident that was far beyond her control was her being stranded on the Central California coast and not being able to tell anyone. But then again, they were close to the next piece of civilization.

“As long as we don't drive into the ocean, I think we'll be fine,” she told him.

“We don't drive into a—poison garden,” he muttered as they went around yet another bend in the road: the cliffs soon began to lower away to the sight of more ponderosas and scraggly shrubs.

“There's no poison gardens here,” she assured him.

“You sure? 'Cause like—there's a bend here—and another here—it's like this.”

They rounded a corner as it wound around the coastline: the road dipped inward into a gentle curve and they doubled back to the next crevice in the landscape.

“Sit—” He pointed to the left. “—down—” He pointed to the right. “—sit—down—sit—down—poison garden.” He pointed straight ahead at that last part and she chuckled at that.

Sure enough, the car sputtered a bit right outside of San Simeon: Hearst Castle rose up off in the distance but they had no time to visit right at that moment.

“Told ya we'd have to coast,” he told her as he guided the car to the gas station right there at the edge of town. The engine sputtered again and died right as they coasted into the first spot near the driveway. He let out a low whistle and leaned back in his seat.

“That was close,” she remarked.

“Yeah, I'll say,” he breathed, and then he turned his attention to her. “A twenty'll get us to the heart of Lost Angles and it'll get me up the Grapevine and into the Central Valley.”

“You're not gonna hang out there with me?”

“I can't,” he told her. “We're supposed to make a new album ourselves.”

“Oh, yeah, that's right!” She handed him a twenty dollar bill, followed by another which would ensure him a ride back home to the Bay Area.

Once they were filled up, they returned to the road.

“I don't know if Hearst Castle is even open,” Louie confessed.

“I don't, either. It's getting kind of late in the day, too.”

“Yeah, exactly!”

Some more coastline and they found their way down into Solvang and then San Luis Obispo where they were met with the Pacific Coast Highway yet again, and they moved away from the end of the world. So much that she wanted to show to Joey. And so much that she wished Cliff could see again, especially that one stretch of the highway where everything felt so finite and endless at the same time.

They wound their way through the low foothills and yet another unknown pocket of California, until they skirted the outside of Santa Barbara followed by Carpinteria.

The waves down below thrashed even more as they wound along the cliffs towards Ventura. At that point, the sky began to darken with the setting sun on the other side of the blanket of clouds overhead.

“Part of me wants to go down to the beaches here,” Louie confessed to her. “Like—take a walk on one of the beaches here. Yet another thing I wanted to do with Zelda when we were together.”

“We don't have towels, though,” she pointed out.

“And it's cold, too!”

“Right!”

The highway led them into Camarillo and then the heart of Los Angeles, where it ended and became the 210. At that point, night was about to fall over them, and the feeling of dread washed over Sam herself. She knew that Bill would be furious by the mere sight of her walking through that front door without any sort of explanation.

Louie drove them down to Corona and then the hills which cradled Lake Elsinore away from the rest of the region. The clouds had finally dissipated and gave way to a violet and orange sky overhead. Such a great length of time to be in that car with him and a part of her wished they had more time.

More time together. More time to relish over the idea of the poison garden.

But that time was all they had right then and there, much like that stretch of highway that overlooked the ocean.

She guided him to the house by the lake and within time, she recognized the neighborhood in question.

He pulled up to the curb and she sighed through her nose at the realization. Her head spun a bit from having driven such a great distance but at least they could come to a stop on a steady piece of ground. She looked on at the house, with its windows dark and the shades pulled despite the fact that it wasn't that late in the evening.

“Do you need any help?” he offered her, to which she shook her head. Instead, she sighed through her nose again and she climbed out to fetch her things out of the back seat. She decided to give her mother a ring later that night when Bill and the girls had gone to bed, that is if they already did. She hoisted her overnight bag over her shoulder and she held her purse close to her body as she reached the driver's side window. He rolled it down so she could speak to him one last time.

“Louie?”

He leaned closer to the window with his eyebrows raised.

“Thank you,” she said to him in a soft voice, and he showed her a sweet smile.

“It's my pleasure,” he told her with a wink. “Poison garden.”

“Poison garden,” she echoed him with a smile on her face.

“Also—”

She stopped and he gestured for her to come on closer to him.

“Don't worry, I'll—I'll talk to him,” he vowed to her.

“Who?”

“You know. The little man.”

“Oh, him!” She stopped right in her tracks. “What for?”

“Just to see if he's alright. One thing I've noticed about him when he fucks up something—he's real hard on himself. So if it's kinda messed between the two of you, I'll check in on him. I'll check in on him anyways.”

“Good plan,” she told him. “You be safe going back up, alright?”

“You be safe, too. Poison garden!”

Sam stepped away from the car and she turned back to the house, still in one place. Louie drove away right then and he disappeared around the corner. Another seven hours and he'd be back up there. She returned to the front door of the house and she opened it with ease. Silence.

She knew that he wouldn't do it. Sam shook her head and she bowed upstairs to her room.