#at least work has ac! our apartment gets literally so bad
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accordionlover · 10 months ago
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today i have a job interview and a 5 hour shift. and it will be thirty eight degrees.
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starryyskies · 5 months ago
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Lil update in case y’all care ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 
I’m moving from my shit apartment starting the beginning of august, and my current semester ends near august 13th. My next semester starts almost 2 weeks after (classes start on the 22nd but it’s good to get it started earlier since most classes open early).
Hopefully by then I’ll be moved out, feel more organized and less stressed, and manage my time a bit better.
Classes are going well despite being super fucking stressful, I’m at the very least passing for now lol
But as for drawing, besides that one doodle I finished and coloured, I haven’t been able to do anything at all. It really disappoints me because I see all this amazing art and my fomo (fear of missing out) gets so bad lol. But I am being responsible and doing my best (╥ᆺ╥;)
Thank you guys for your support and kindness and understanding ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)
So in case you’re curious my struggles currently read below lol
So, the place I work at, my store is a corporation and we’ve been basically getting babysat by managers from other stores who are also watching their own store, getting paid a shit amount for creating and maintaining not just the scheduling for both stores, but also managing any issues that arise. So we’re on our 4th manager now, and while he’s the sweetest and fucking raddest manager of all times, he is doing the bare minimum for our store. And trust me, I do NOT blame him. To be honest, he is getting paid salary for being a manager of his own store, and it’s like 56k a year or something which isn’t bad at all. But watching a completely different store?
75. Dollars. A WEEK?! That is LITERALLY a slap in the face. That is the CEO saying a big ass fuck you to its employees. So of course he’s doing the bare minimum. Coping and pasting parts of the schedule, he never comes into our store, and while he’s attentive when it comes to issues, he’s our only source of upper management support we have.
We have workers who have worked with the company for 3+ years, 8+ years, and 20 years. They know what they’re doing, but when I am running the shift by myself, I can’t rely on my coworkers to get back to me, because they are not obligated to.
So the schedule is pretty awful sometimes. Sometimes we’re over staffed when we could’ve used the help other times, sometimes we’re severely understaffed. Like for example, today was a shit show. We had 3 people during our busiest time. (I work at a coffee shop) and so we have one person on register who also takes care of the food and packs the deliveries, and then one person on the coffee bar is not enough to handle the amount of drinks they get, so I was basically running back and forth to support both positions while also making sure my coworkers got their breaks. Icing on the cake was when we realized it was way too hot inside the cafe and learned our AC is broken AGAIN! It was 84 degrees before I left work. That is miserable running around taking care of hot drinks and food.
This is something I deal with at least 2 times a week
While also doing school work full time, having a strict deadline to follow to submit assignments (thankfully it’s all online so I can be somewhat flexible)
And on top of all of that, I’m moving in 2 weeks, school finals will be going on by then, and life has been kicking my family in the ass.
My step dad, who I’ve know since I was 6-7, he’s been that second dad to me, I think of him as a hero. He unfortunately has been diagnosed with single cell lung cancer. It had spread to his ribs and femur. While he’s still fighting and going through aggressive treatment, I’m not sure what the outcome will be. He’s putting on a strong face, so I can’t tell how serious it is.
My grandfather is also in the hospital. He’s had a heart condition that requires him to wear an AED pacemaker in his chest, and recently it was used because he had a seizure. He’s not doing too well, and who knows what will happen.
Oh! And my older sister’s wedding is IN TWO MONTHS! I’m the damn maid of honor, and I do nottttt like the attention. She’s the kinda person who likes big fancy weddings but she’s doing her best financially to make it happen, though she also was promoted to manager for her store (we work for the same company) and going through that crazy long training is surly not fun lol.
But anyway, thanks for reading my rambles. Sometimes I feel like nobody really cares but I get reminded that there are people out there who are wondering how I am. So this is for you people
(⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)₊˚⊹ ᰔ
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alpaca-clouds · 1 year ago
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How to survive the heat
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Okay, let me talk about something else.
The climate is changing and it is getting hotter. The summers especially are getting hotter and hotter by the year and a lot of people are struggling with it.
As my American friends keep reminding me: The US - at least those areas, that have always been kinda hot - has usually ACs for most buildings. But someone sitting in Germany I can guarantee you: Most of us do not. At least not outside of commercial buildings like shopping malls and office buildings.
And still, we have temperatures over 30°C - at times going up to 40°C (that is like 86° - 104° in freedom units) - and somehow have to survive in here. So, as someone sitting in an attic flat with no AC in sight, let me talk survival.
Why heat is dangerous
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Let me quickly talk about heat and why it is dangerous to us. And let me make it clear: Yes, heat is dangerous. Heat usually kills more people than any other type of extreme weather. Because while you can protect against most other weather, the heat is not that easy.
Our human fleshbags usually function best around 37°C (which is like 98.7°F) and to keep itself at around that temperature. When we are cold, our body burns energy to warm itself up. When we are hot, we produce sweat so that our bodies can cool of via evaporation.
The issue is, that our bodies are only able to do that in certain temperatures effectively.
And if we cannot cool off, our body will slowly fail. Additionally we might sweat so much, that we loose too much water through sweat, our bodies might shut off, too.
Just a quick graphic here. Just to make you aware. Because heat is dangerous.
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So, let us talk about something.
How to survive the heat without an AC?
Let me talk about my best friend during the summer heat: The fan. With that I mean the nice electric fan that keeps the air moving. Yes, it burns energy and that sucks, but with the air moving, our sweat can better evaporate, hence cooling us down.
Another thing that might help as well, is a device removing air humidity - because this, too, helps with sweating.
Then, of course, there is the good one: Air out your apartments early in the morning or throughout the night. When it is still cool. Then close up the windows during the day and close and curtains and blinds. If you do not have blinds, you might consider putting something against the windows from the outside. I personally use medical foil blankets, that are made to keep temperatures regulated. But please, please, if you do that: Put them up outside. Because otherwise it might harm the glass of the window. (And yes, sadly I have to remind you, too that you need to check with your landlord if this is okay.)
Another thing that might help you: Fill bottles with water and freeze them. Then put them up in the highest place in your room. This can lower the temperature in your room for a couple degrees. It is a very easy hack that works quite well.
Now, you might have heard about that drinking cold drinks is bad and that instead you actually should drink hot drinks. The science behind it is basically, that cold drinks do kinda cancel themselves out. Yes, cold drinks and ice cream cool down the inside of the body, but with it, it will also tell the body not to sweat. Because of that, you win nothing, but you also loose nothing. The natural temperature regulation gets stopped for a while, but for the same while your body gets cooled by the cold drink. So... It's alright. Do it the way you like. And yes, even though sweating is a good and healthy thing in the heat... It also kinda sucks.
Most importantly though: Drink. And drink something non-alcoholic. (Because alcohol dehydrates the body.) Other than that, it really does not matter what you drink. If it is hot or cold. Just make sure you drink about 2-3 liters a day. To make up for the loss of water through sweating.
The last tip I have is not good for the introverted. But... You might wanna consider spend your days in a place that is climatized. I usually sit in the office even on my off days, because it has a passive cooling system (yes, fancy sustainable stuff even!) and during the weekends I often go to the university library, because it is nice and climate controlled there.
Would I love to lounge around at home instead? Yes. Yes, I would. But... Beggers can't be choosers. And even my autistic ass prefers sitting in the library to having a heat stroke. Because yes, I had a heat stroke once. I cannot recommend it.
So, that said: Stay chilly.
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akaakeis · 3 months ago
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sav the terriblest thing has happened......... i joined english coaching.............
okay its not that bad the guy was my ninth grade english teacher and hes kind of a w
i also found out my current english teacher is mentally ill and not one of her students got 90+ in english like..
#notmepls
ANYWAYS
this Means that i shall be offline when ur usually first online during the day on sundays tuesdays and thursdays throws up
ive alr been so busy and i was like omg #textingsav and then i realised we probably wont talk today and also the only time we'll talk is
wait omg no school tmr we WILL talk tmr which will be ur today
the way im just. rambling in ur inbox but its ok bc ur u and im me #neverdoingthisanywhereelse
next thing . wait i forgot im remembering
oKAY remembered 👍 ERM i got like a. 68 on my english test and apparently this mentally ill woman marked it wrong and i shouldve gotten an erm. wait calculating. at least an 88 LIKE GIRL WHAT THE FREAKKKKKKKKK
in other news erm why i cried in the last four days list .
i love my sister
i love my friends
english grade
teacher yelled at me
there was no garlic bread at home
i got disconnected from dti
i didnt want to get up and change
the electricity cut off five times and i couldnt play genshin properly
tumblr wasnt loading
86 eighty-six
hashtag periods i love periods
in other news i also love maths like i WAS a maths girl i AM a maths girlie i will always BE a maths girlie it is THE subject of all time and if anyone disagrees then they're wrong (unless it's u because what can i say. i always agree with cute girls🤷‍♀️)
also like i said id tell you about the smau but literally erm. i forgot.. what was supposed to happen.. i have two lines ill dm them to u or something 😭😭😭😭 WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING ELSE AND THEN I FORGOT IT IM GOING TO SOB.
OH YES spilling school tea
our chem teacher used to tutor this one girl and he flirted with her mom at 1am on wahtsapp and facebook and then his wife divorced him😭😭
this one girl's picture got taken. like a norm picture. and then her bf and some people fought over it. like physically. at coaching. LOL INSANE
english physics and chemistry departments of our school are failing everyone is underpaid and leaving
my english teacher is senile but we mentioned that already i think
ANYWAYSSSS UNINTENTIONAL YAP ASK I LITERALLY JUST CAME HERE TO SAY IM MORE BUSY THAN BEFORE LMFAO. look where we are. oh omg im so #scared #excited #terrified for us w/o u part 2 thats flipping SCARY IM SCARED anyways how are u? feel free to yap in the answers if u do answer it and uhhh take care stay safe love u mwa mwa dm me whenever
LINA MY LOVE!! this is gonna be long i fear. oh dear.... ok so english coaching is not fun good luck with that 😕
well at least the guy is cool ‼️
im sorry but lowkey... #wbk about that one i fear!! I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE WAS A LITTLE MENTALLY ILL? IS THAT JUST ME OR
anyway if u dont get 90+ in english send her my way I WILL FIGHT FOR YOUR GRADE SO HARD you deserve a good grade!!! i can tell you've been putting in the effort + im proud of u!!1!!1!1
NOOOOOO WE WONT BE ABLE TO TALK AS MUCH 🙁 lwt me think so today is thursday and youll be on on mondays wednesdays fridays + saturdays as normal presumably? THATS OKAY i usually wake up latw on thursdays because i sleep late and its a whole mess... i was nearly late this morning harhar ANYWAY POINT BEING WE WILL STILL BE ABLE TO TALK TO WE'LL BE GOOD
girl me too <//3 was so locked in on tuesday you should've seen me writing my article for the magazine + writing out the rest of my speech and finalizing ITS SO BUSY RN ICB IT
these timezones are confusinf me hello i am so lost as i read this! 12 hrs apart w you ahead is all ik regarding this
ANYWAY WE WILL FIND TIME AND WE WILL MAKE IT WORK ITLL JUST TAKE A MINUTE FOR ME TO FIGURE IT OUT
its okay i live laugh love for ur asks actually im sitting in my room smiling as i type out this reply to ur ask... inbox yap hour MY FAV
A 68 IS ACTUALLY INSANE GOODBYE how did she screw up the grade so bad 😭 she can catch these fists for that one LIKE HOW DO U GET IT 20% OFF THIS IS NOT A CLEARANCE SALE MISS!!
HELP all of these reasons are equally valid 😞 periods really get me fucked up fr i think im about to get mine too smh
that is SO valid lina math is honestly a good subject 🙂‍↕️ not my fav but i honestly enjoy the class cause it's 1) simple for me 2) my tablemates are so odd to the point of being hilarious and 3) my teacher is gay and we found his grindr profile so i always giggle when i think about that HAHDBDN so math class is just heaps of fun
NOOOO I WAS SO EXCITED TO HESR ABT THE SMAU U NEED TO SEND ME THE TWO LINES U HAVE SOON!!1!!1!1 STOP I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS BUT IT HAPPENS TO ME SO OFTEN ITS AWFUL
ok THE CHEM TEACHER??? wow okay so thats crazy! HIS WIFE DIVORCING HIM TOO PLEASE SO DESERVED everyone point and laugh!!! L man!!!!
HELP WHY WERE THEY EVEN FIGHTING IF IT WAS JUST A NORMAL PICTURE THATS SO WILD?? 😭 like guys its not that deep </3
WHAT. so like is this hyperbole or is literally everyone going to leave bc of being underpaid and whatnot CAUSE THATS SO BAD 
senility✊😞 what a trooper/j
ITS OKAY I ENJOYED READING ALL OF THAT!!!  PLEASE PRIORITIZE ALL YOUR STUDIES THEYRE THE MOST IMPORTANT <3 I HOPE YOU DONT BURN OUT FROM BEING MORE BUSY THAN BEFORE BC I KNOW I DEFINITELY DID WHEN I HAD VOLLEYBALL.. SO TAKE THINGS EASY AND DONT STRESS YOURSELF TOO MUCH PLEASE!!! ILY ILY ILY!! oh okay so us without me pt 2 is probably gonna be BAD BAD cause it will b talking about how he was actually in love w eden since BEFORE he had moved and all that so itll be extra angst talking about before he had moved 😸 basically timeskips briefly showing how he gives you less and less affection as the time he leaves draws near AHAHAH ITS GONNA BE BAD
+ im alright!!! no homework for once in a blue moon so im sitting here relaxing i feel so good rn <3 i have an iced matcha latte and a cake pop I AM LIVE LAUGH LOVING
so i dont have much to yap about at this moment but i just got back from school SOOOO ill yap about that!!
starting off strong i woke up an hour + 15 mins late and had 20 minutes to get ready and eat... i was almost late this morning BUT i have fitness first thing in the morning on my a-days (we work on an a/b schedule!!) and my teacher always comes late to that!! so i had time to dress down and i BOOKED IT to the weight room + made it!! in that class we basically just do weightlifting + my usual partner wasnt there bc she had a golf tournament... so i was with some of my other friends for lifting!! was kinda thriving bc my other partner usually does heavier weights + they did lighter ones SO I WAS REALLY REALLY FAST W MY SETS i was very proud!!
then i went into second period (i have bio) and we were doing a lab where we examined some cells in onions, tomatoes, + the inside of our cheeks (ew) but basically we had to group up and im not rly fond of one of the girls that r in my group cause she doesn't talk much she just squeezes in to look through the microscope so it annoys me 😞 ANYWAY THE LAB WAS LIGHT WORK GOT IT DONE IN 30 MINS and then i had like an hour of free time after that so i asked for a hall pass and i roamed the halls for a bit 😸 after that i have to go to advisory + i was just helping people w math hw and doing some of the nyt games to kill my boredom (oh and drivers ed stuff!!)
at lunch i was just sitting with some of my friends and playing imessage games with them 😭 then we went into the gym and played volleyball for a bit!!
after lunch i had geo and i was taking notes like a madman i fear... dk if ive said this before but like ohhh man everyone makes a point of telling me how small my hand writing is its so annoying 😭 i heard that three times during class today and i was literally done LIKE STOP LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE ‼️
theeeen i had my speech + debate CLASS not to be confused with my club!! i already finished my oratory so i just played games the entire period 😻 lots of fun would recommend!!! i just hate the teacher cause he's always telling me to go back to my seat WHEN IM HELPING HIS STUDENTS CATCH UP ON WORK like ok! sorry for trying to help you fix the mistakes you made when teaching them how to make their speeches! goodness! my bad! anyway hes my opp 😒
AND THATS MY DAY!! anyway take care stay safe i love you!!! MWAHH <3
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clovexei · 2 years ago
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Recent Good Things from Work
- Coworker and I were both grumpy and stressed because he had to look for a new apartment and I had to look for a new car, so we traded tasks and I looked for apartments for him and he looked for cars for me. He said he felt a lot less bleak afterward + he gave me some good financial advice about buying a car, so it was a win-win.
- I had a mole removed on my arm, so I got to show my gnarly stitches to two coworkers who know I’ve had top surgery and they were both like, “You’re going to have such a bad-ass scar!” and I was like “I know!! And I can show this one off in public!!” and they both laughed
- one of them asked if I watched the surgeons remove the mole bc that seemed like something I would do and I love that I have that vibe??
- So many good clothes compliments? THREE different people said they liked my bee shirt today!! And one person last week said I was very ‘casual chic’! And whenever I wear my bowling-alley-carpet button-up, at least one person a day comments on how bright it is!
- Had a patron literally jump for joy when they saw our pride lists with ace/aro-led books, and my queer coworker and I spent a high-energy 15 minutes giving them title recommendations
- Had a patron flawlessly use they/them pronouns for me, and it was so validating after like a solid two months of getting misgendered by everyone coming up to the desk. We also talked about escape rooms and rotary phones and it was delightful.
- Also, a coworker who had been in the habit of saying, “There she is!” when she sees me has recently started saying, “There they are!” instead, and it is SO LOVELY <3
- a patron very earnestly called me an Angel in Disguise for patiently helping her book one of our meeting rooms
- On that note, more and more patrons seem to be interjecting things like, “Thank you for being so kind,” and “Thank you for your patience,” into their conversations with me, and I don’t reallllly think I’m doing anything new or different with how I help them or answer questions? I think a lot of us are just starved for patience and kindness right now, and they’re happy to find it where they can, and I’m glad I can be a reliable source
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lastoneout · 4 months ago
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To put it into perspective $65K a year before taxes is about $5k a month and if you know anything about how bad the cost of living is at the moment you can do the math and figure out that that's comfortable but still not really enough in some places or barely scraping by in others.
Like if you just want to have a semi-decent apartment with a bedroom or two that isn't infested with cockroaches, offering AC so garbage it's deadly and will force you to drop even more money on your own portable/window unites which cost hundreds of dollars and skyrocket your electric bill(you cannot forgo AC in a place where it hits 110F in the summer), and run by a landlord that couldn't care less about helping you with anything at all, you are going to be forking over $2.5-3K AT LEAST and that's BEFORE utilities, most places do not include water/trash/electricity/gas. If you want internet here that sucks slightly less but still genuinely sucks you're dropping over $100 at least every month(we drop more than that and have been having so many grey/black outs I can't even stream half the time which is literally my job, and we cannot upgrade to fiber without moving). A family plan for two people with phones that are falling apart is $250 a month and that will go up when our phones finally break since we can't repair them on our own. A small grocery trip will still run you into the $100s and my food stamps covering my stuff specifically only goes so far to cushion the impact. We put off fixing his car as long as we can unless it's something actually serious(hello giant crack in the windshield and cracked tail-light casing and squeaky break pads please don't cause any sudden problems T_T). And if the vet bill is over $1k well...guess we go into debt or pray the cat will be okay without the really expensive tests!
My fiance makes $64K and he and I are VERY lucky to live in a relatively cheap city in an apartment we found through a friend where we don't have to pay rent, just utilities and some minor maintenance, and we STILL cannot even afford to get married because I would lose my state insurance if we did(our combined income would put us *just* far enough over the poverty line to disqualify me) and have to switch to the one he gets through his work, and I had 15 ER and doctor's visits this month on top of two surgical procedures and I take like 20 medications, so like, we would go fucking bankrupt on the co-pays alone. Hell I had to give up on a medication that was life-changing because it's over $400 a month and since I'm on Medicaid I don't qualify for the coupon program and we just cannot fucking afford meds that expensive. I also don't qualify for disability because he can cover my needs more or less, which is insulting and degrading and fucking ridiculous. And that's not even taking into account HIS medical needs. He hasn't seen a primary care doctor in years, only just got diagnosed with ADHD after years of me pushing him to see a doctor, and every time he has an emergency he has to go to urgent care which charges him like $200 even when it turns out nothing was wrong. I really pray he never needs to go to the ER. We mask everywhere not just because we believe it's the right thing to do, but because we literally cannot afford for him to get sick.
Unless he starts making more money or I miraculously recover from the things keeping me from getting a traditional job we will never be able to afford a house. Idk if we'll ever even be able to move. His income being that high does mean I don't have to work and we can still live relatively comfortably as long as nothing serious happens, but most of that money is going towards bills and keeping me alive, and the month he lost his old job was the scariest month of our lives. We had ONE MONTH to get him a new one and we did, one that initially paid a little less but still enough, but if we hadn't? We'd be fucked.
As an additional tid-bit, he was making a little under that when we met living in Flagstaff, a MUCH more expensive area(if you want anything better than a studio you're forking over $5k+ on JUST rent at least) and I was still getting a smidge under $2k a month at my job or or less(hourly wages at a movie theater as a team lead), and we moved to Tucson specifically because that combined amount was nowhere NEAR enough to exist in Flagstaff. In Tucson it's a comfortable but not really enough income if you're lucky like we are. In Flagstaff it's fucking poverty wages.
$65K a year sounds like a lot and I won't pretend it doesn't give me some privileges other people don't have access to, I"m more financially stable than I've ever been in my entire life, and while I try to keep my purchases to things I want that also serve a purpose, I can afford nice things sometimes like a playstation or concert tickets, I can buy gifts for my friends and family for special occasions, but it is FAR from being rich, and depending on your area you're way closer to the people scraping by making $17 an hour than being even within the same fucking zipcode as a truly rich person.
I've met rich people(though usually not the family members actually making the money), and tbh the hallmark they share is def making huge purchases and wild life choices without a second thought because they don't have to give a single shit and acting really weird if you suggest that it isn't normal to do stuff like that. If you have a comfortable income but can't switch to a more expensive apartment for funsies or quit your job bcs you just don't feel like working there anymore money be dammed or idk take a month long vacation overseas without considering the cost at all you're probably rich. Rich people don't give a fuck about spending money, they don't think about it at all. If you have to think about what you buy even if you do have the money to buy it just to make sure you still have enough for your needs and a small savings on the chance things go south you are not rich. If you cannot survive more than three months without a job you are not rich. $65k a year is barely enough to survive ONE MONTH without a job, it is NOT rich.
People on tumblr please get some real class consciousness challenge, you're not attacking your enemy, you're attacking someone else in the muddy trenches with you who just happens to own a nicer rain jacket while the actual rich people eat snacks from their covered, heated patio wondering why you're all making such a big deal about money.
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csa-survivor-confessions · 1 year ago
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Hi, some things have been going on lately that i wanted some clarity on. So when i was age 6 or 7, i was raped. I didn’t remember it for about a decade apart from the flashbacks i’d get with no visual memory, and truthfully im still doubting the memory and am still not sure it is real but i have decided to at least try to believe myself because it has been affecting me a lot lately, i started thinking more about it and honestly since i remembered it like over a year ago not one day has gone by in which i dont think about it, its my first thought when i wake up—literally, im pretty sure it’s a subconscious thing because i dont think in the first 2 seconds of me being shook awake I’d willingly remember and think about this purposefully. Either way, lately ive been seeing my abuser less (and when i see him less i start remembering more idk if that makes sense or is a thing) but when i when i sat near him the other day i started sweating pretty badly despite the ac being right on me, i got insanely nauseous and when my cousin touched my shoulder while we sat near him i almost threw up and felt like crawling out of my skin, the touch and him being there all together made me tear up and i had to move. Also since i started remembering more and being affected more by it (for some reason? It comes and goes?) i begun having what i believe would be called nervous tics, and these ONLY happen when im actively having flashbacks or really thinking about it, mostly really bad twitching, shaking and head jerking. Now my questing is could all these be related to my memory? Sure he abused me physically and emotionally too so im not sure which abuse these are a response to but these only happen when im experiencing things and remembering the SA, not the other kinds of abuse…. I hope this wasn’t a mess of a question, thank you
Hello,
So it does make sense that having more access to memories and/or more flashbacks would cause you distress you might not have had before. And even more so when we are more aware of our trauma we can notice more things about our reactions.
Shaking and other physiological reactions can be part of flashbacks, panic attacks and other reactions we experience high arousal from trauma triggers. And when you think heavily about the abuse you can trigger your nervous system into an overstressed space.
It makes sense that having access to the memories would shift memories of abuse, which are often fragmented and can shift in how consciously aware of the situations people are.
Your reaction to being around your abuser is a pretty clear example of being triggered. Feeling physically ill, up to throwing up, is a known response to being triggered.
Remembering and having easier access to memories when no longer consistently in a situation with the abuser can happen and is logical. The dissociative barriers that section off traumatic memories which cause traumatic amnesia can lessen both when re-traumatized and when trauma is less prominent.
It also isn't incredibly important when first starting to manage trauma response to know exactly which trauma certain reactions come from. You can work that out over time.
You're going through extremely hard things, but you are not strange many people have gone through things. And you can recover.
Some articles that might be helpful:
Coping Skills Masterposts: Panic Attacks, Flashbacks & Dissociation
Informational Article: Define Trauma
Symptom Explainers: Flashbacks
Be Blessed,
-Admin 2
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amjustagirl · 4 years ago
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Summary: She may mean the world to Iwaizumi Hajime but at the end of the day, Oikawa Tooru is his star. 
AO3 Link here
Sequel: Broken Compass
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She used to think the universe intended for her to literally  crash into one Iwaizumi Hajime. 
One of her first assignments as a writer for one of the country’s top sports magazines was to cover the Japanese volleyball team’s season, and despite constant reminders from her editors  not  to screw this up because the men’s volleyball team is crazy popular these days, she manages to trip over her own feet and knock not just herself, but the newly minted team trainer to the ground. 
When she lifts her head from the ground, the first thing that hits her mind is -  goodness, he’s hot  -  he’s a veritable god among men, all sinewy muscles and sunkissed skin, and she can’t bring herself to speak as he carefully checks her once over for any signs of injury. ‘Are you alright?’ he asks her, and she nods dumbly as he pulls her to her feet and waves her off with a warm smile. The heat from his hands lingers on her skin long after she goes to bed that night. 
They meet again at the next match. He remembers her name, she gives him a friendly wave. Then at the next match, she cheekily asks for his comments and he huffs a laugh as he directs her to the team’s PR manager. By the end of the season, she works up the courage to ask him out for coffee, and he says yes . 
 Iwaizumi Hajime is everything she dreamt of in a partner - kind, caring, steady, his feet firmly planted on the ground. He always wraps his arm around her to pull her close when they walk along the edge of the road, and indulges her pleas for an extra cuddle – ‘ the last one, I promise! ’ - every morning when he leaves for work. They exchange long text messages late into the night when either of them are on the road, and nag each other for working too hard. When they lay in bed at night, he whispers promises filled with love against her skin, tells her he can trace the constellations in her eyes. 
It makes it so easy for her to close her eyes and believe that their love is written in the stars, so a year later when he asks her to marry him, she doesn’t hesitate to jump into his arms and say yes . The weight of the silver band he slips on her finger grounds her with his love, and her heart is full. 
She can’t stop feeling like a thief who’s snatched the sun from the sky. 
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Oikawa Tooru is to be his best man of course. 
She knows who he is, she’s covered the sport long enough to have heard about him - the prodigious setter from Miyagi who never made it once to Nationals despite his obvious talent (an exquisitely crafted  katana  is, after all, no match for the brute force of a cannon), who spit in the face of fate and chased his dreams to sunnier lands. 
Iwaizumi has always been awfully fond of regaling her with stories of Oikawa, so much so that she thinks she can piece together their relationship - childhood friends turned longtime teammates, the long suffering ace and the monstrously brilliant setter. She watches his face soften uncharacteristically when he reads news about his old friend winning a match, and hardens when Oikawa whines loudly during their video calls about his bruises and sore knee. She can’t help but think Iwaizumi must have been like Jupiter, a god in his own right, drawn into orbit around Oikawa, a star burning over-bright. 
She knows they remain best friends despite their separation by whole continents, keeping in contact via video calls and text messages, playing hopscotch with the time difference. They certainly look like it when they greet each other at the airport, Oikawa trilling a playful ‘ Iwa-channn’ and Iwaizumi grunting at him to ‘shut up, they’re in public, dumbass!’, exchanging back slaps so loud it makes her wince. 
‘You must be the poor fiancee’, Oikawa gives her an exaggerated leer as he stands before her, hands on hips. ‘What did Iwa-chan drug you with to get you to marry him? Do you know he snores like a monster in his sleep? You know you can back out before the wedding right? Blink once if you’re ok, and twice if you’re not - and I’ll help you escape from him.��
Before she can respond to that frankly impertinent speech, Iwaizumi roars ‘Shut-up, Shittykawa’, tackling him into a headlock and wrestling him off into their car. She stifles a laugh as they spend the rest of the ride to Oikawa’s hotel room bickering back and forth. 
‘How did you manage to pack so much luggage for a two week stay, you vain piece of crap!’
‘I care about my looks and grooming - unlike some of us who skulk around in clothes they’ve worn since high school!’ 
 ‘Vainpot.’
 ‘Beast.’ 
 ‘Piece of shit’ 
 ‘Meanie’
Iwaizumi alternates between grunting and growling at Oikawa’s nonsense but his eyes are shining (so bright that she can see stars) and Oikawa’s retorts are punctuated with smiles that are impossibly wide. She thinks to herself it’ll be good for Iwaizumi to have Oikawa around.
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Oikawa starts to call her ‘ Chibi-chan  ’ especially when Hajime is around to be annoyed by it – she admits she’s short, but not  that  short, it’s just that he spends most of his time surrounded by literal  giants  - and develops an irritating habit of ambushing her with quizzes about Hajime's likes and dislikes. 
'Favourite food?' 
'Agedashi tofu.' 
'Favourite movie?' 
 'Godzilla.’ 
After a few rounds of these pop quizzes, she looks at him like he's sprouted a second head. ‘Seriously, Oikawa-san, we're getting married in less than two weeks. Do you seriously think I wouldn't know the most obvious things about my own fiancé?'  
'Don't frown, Chibi-chan, you'll grow wrinkles and look old', he sing songs at her. 'I'm just making sure you're worthy of Iwa-chan's love!' 
'Stop bullying my fiancée, Shittykawa, or I'll beat you up so bad you can't move'. Iwaizumi rubs lazy circles against her back, and she leans against him comfortably. 
'Aww Iwa-chan, once a bone head, always a bone head’, Oikawa says, scrunching his face into a mock-sniff. ‘Say, Chibi-chan, do you know Iwa-chan would beat me up ‘til I let go all the cicadas we caught, but if they died, he would cry?' 
‘Are you calling me a crybaby, Shittykawa’, Iwaizumi growls dangerously, simmering down only when she coos at him, ‘that’s so cute, you must have been such a sweet child’. 
Then, sensing that her presence is probably stopping the boys from catching up fully, she shoos them out of the apartment on the premise that they should get some fresh air and cool off but really so they can get some much needed time together. ‘ And stop fighting’ , she calls after them, making good use of the quiet to busy herself with wedding preparations. 
When Iwaizumi finally returns home late that night, he finds her asleep on the couch, and with a soft smile he curls up around her. ‘Hajime?’ she breathes, nuzzling her nose into his neck, and he has to bite back the urge to cover her face with kisses, tightening his hold on her instead.  
‘I’m back’, he whispers, his breath warm against her neck. ‘Sorry I was out so long’. 
‘It’s fine’, she mumbles sleepily. ‘Did you guys have fun?’
‘Yeah - we went for dinner and then Oikawa dragged me to at least five different bakeries to find the perfect milk bread before he was willing to go for drinks’, he complains. ‘And he made me promise to go for drinks with Issei and Hanamaki tomorrow afternoon before we meet with the wedding coordinator’.
‘Mm’, she hums absently. ‘Oikawa seemed a little on edge earlier. I’m glad he calmed down and had fun with you’. 
Iwaizumi frowns into her hair, thinking back to Oikawa’s inexplicable needling of her earlier. ‘Sweetheart, if Oikawa is irritating you, I'll make him stop’. 
‘It’s fine’, she says, with a little more force than she intended, waving away the concerned look he gives her. ‘He’s your best friend, Hajime. I think he's just feeling a little insecure. You should spend more time with him while you still can’. 
He grins and kisses her warmly. ‘You’re too good to me. What did I do to deserve you?’ 
‘Because the universe willed that I love you’, she answers, as if it were the most obvious thing on earth. 
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But Oikawa manages to find a way to wreck her well made plans.   
Iwaizumi finds her in the kitchen, back turned towards him, and the slam of the dishes on the counter makes him wince. ‘I’m sorry, sweetheart’, he tells her, wincing when she shrugs off his hand. 
'You skipped our appointment with our wedding coordinator', she hisses, whirling around to face him. ‘But that’s not the worst of it - do you know how scared I was when you didn’t pick up my calls? I thought you got  hurt  or heaven forbid - got run over by a car and died,  Hajime!’
‘I’m sorry’, he repeats, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. 'I got engrossed in catching up with Hanamaki and Issei, and Oikawa stole my phone so I lost track of time. I kicked his ass for it, you could've heard him whining about it from outer space’. He slyly slides an arm around her waist, resisting her attempts to pull away as he buries his nose in her hair.  ‘I'll make it up to you, I promise'. 
'Make sure you do', she huffs, leaning into his warmth. ‘And what was Oikawa’s reason for stealing your phone?’ 
‘You know Shittykawa, he probably thought he was being cute. I’ll make him apologise,’ Hajime replies, pressing his nose into the crook of her neck. 
She relaxes a fraction, breathing in his familiar scent - fresh linen and pine and  home, but that doesn't ease the knot of something  -  she can't quite put her finger on what it is just yet - weighing down in her chest. 
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True to his word, Iwaizumi drags Oikawa by his ear to lunch with them the next day, not letting go until he apologises to her with an appropriately chastened expression on his face. ‘I’m sorry, Chibi-chan, I shan’t do it again’, he tells her contritely, but when Iwaizumi’s back is turned, he shoots her a puckish grin brimming with mischief that makes her toes curl. 
She ignores him, and lets herself be drawn into the flow of their conversation - Oikawa complaining incessantly about Ushijima Wakatoshi and Kageyama Tobio whom she’s met many times in the past few months and he shoots her dirty looks when she archly tells him that she thinks they’re lovely men, Iwaizumi getting on Oikawa’s case again for not eating enough, for not sleeping enough, barely able to restrain himself from violence when Oikawa responds with a trilled ‘  Iwa-chan, you sound like my mother ’.  
The conversation meanders off to their Seijoh teammates she’s not terribly familiar with, so she’s caught off guard when Oikawa abruptly turns to her with shit-eating grin and asks innocently ‘Say, Chibi-chan, what about Iwa-chan caught your eye?’
‘Have you looked at him?’ she says, playfully nudging a blushing Iwaizumi with her elbow. ‘He’s built like a god.’
Oikawa’s smile turns sickly sweet, showing far too much teeth. ‘In that case, I’m surprised you didn’t go for one of the volleyball players instead. Or was Iwa-chan your last attempt? You’re twenty-five this year, after all.’ 
A glance in Iwaizumi’s direction shows her exactly what she expects - first, his mouth drops open in a wide-eyed, open mouthed gape, then fury burns white hot across his face, and she has to grab his hand before he causes a scene by throwing himself bodily across the table to strangle the smirk off Oikawa’s face. ‘I can fight my own battles’, she mouths at him, willing him to stay in his seat, her hand still pressed firmly against his.  
‘Well, you did ask me what first attracted me to Hajime, and I didn’t lie - I was really drawn by his looks’. 
 She inhales and lets herself be drawn back to the warmth of the memory of tumbling head first into Iwaizumi’s arms, and exhales to look squarely at Oikawa. ‘But then I fell for his kindness, his steadfastness, his patience - and when he told me he loved me, I felt as if the universe had handed me the sun, the moon and the stars’.    
Her answer must have touched Oikawa’s shrivelled little heart, she thinks to herself, because something  in his eyes shutters and a look of respect streaks across his face. ‘Well said, Chibi-chan, well said’, he says begrudgingly. ‘Iwa-chan is lucky to have you’. 
The rest of lunch passes without incident, and when she and Iwaizumi are finally back home, he corners her as she’s about to go to bed and asks quietly - ‘Sweetheart, did you really mean all of that?’  
‘Of course I do. I love you, Hajime. Do you need me to count the ways?’ 
‘Maybe’, he responds playfully, circling his arms around her as she pulls him to bed. She lies in his embrace, ear pressed to his chest and falls asleep to the steady thrum of his heartbeat, the ebb and flow of his breath, the rise and fall of his chest.
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When Iwaizumi calls out that he’ll be gone to the bar down the street for an hour or two to vet Oikawa’s best man speech, she certainly did not expect him to burst back into their flat with Oikawa held bridal style in his arms. It would have been a comical sight - Oikawa’s bulky frame dwarfing even Iwaizumi, legs looking ludicrously long dangling over Iwaizumi’s arms - but for the frantic expression of Iwaizumi’s face and the desperate way Oikawa clings to Iwaizumi’s neck. 
‘Idiot bumped his knee while doing shots’, Iwaizumi explains to her distractedly, as he settles Oikawa onto their couch. ‘I don’t think it’s serious, but I’ll take him to the doctor in the morning to check him out just in case. Brought him to our place since it’s closer than his hotel room, and I can keep an eye on him overnight’. 
She hands him an ice pack. ‘Why don’t you two take our bed, and I’ll take the couch? He’ll be more comfortable that way, and you can watch over him at night.’
‘Are you sure?’ Iwaizumi frowns, and she nods, pushing him towards his friend while she turns to fetch a set of spare pyjamas for their unexpected guest. Iwaizumi lifts Oikawa to their bed and together, they strip him of his clothes and, mindful of his knee, gingerly slide him into clean clothes. 
‘Iwa-chan’, she hears the lanky setter whine as she makes to leave the room to bring an extra ice pack. Turning her head, she catches a glimpse of Hajime bending over Oikawa’s form. She’s not sure if it’s a trick of the light, but she  swears she saw Iwaizumi brush his fingers against Oikawa’s forehead with a quiet tenderness he’s only ever shown to her, tucking his hair behind his ears. For some reason, it makes her heart clench. 
She’s gathering the discarded clothes up from the floor whilst Iwaizumi’s in the shower, when Oikawa shoots his hand out to grab her wrist. ‘I’m sorry’, he tells her, a plaintive note in his voice.  ‘I tore it up – I should never have tried to tell him.’
‘What?’ She gives him a bewildered stare. ‘What are you talking about?’ 
‘Iwa-chan’, he slurs, and she can smell the alcohol on his breath as she moves closer to him to catch his words. ‘He got mad with me, madder than I’ve ever seen him before.’
‘You mean Hajime? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he doesn’t stay mad with you, whatever it is you’ve done.’
He shakes his head. ‘I’m sorry’, he manages to say, and starts to cry. She flounders, unsure whether to comfort him herself or call for Hajime to deal with him (because she’s not stupid, it’s painfully obvious he resents her), but the look in his eyes is so heartbreakingly vulnerable that she can't bring herself to leave him alone even for a minute, so she sits next to him on the bed, rubbing a soothing hand against his back while he soaks her sleeve with hot tears. ‘You’re drunk and injured, Oikawa-san. You should rest’, she murmurs, easing him back against his pillow when his sobs cease and he seems to calm down. 
As she bends down again to pick up his clothes, he gives a cry of alarm and tries to grab her wrist again, almost flipping himself off the bed. Hearing the commotion, Iwaizumi rushes into the room, hair still wet from his shower, barking loudly ‘you idiot’, forcing Oikawa to lie back down onto the bed. She backs out of the room, leaving Hajime to comfort his sobbing friend. 
 She doesn’t think too much about Oikawa’s strange words, mentally writing it off as another one of his odd little quirks. But as she’s folding up his pants, a stack of torn papers falls out of its pocket, and she thinks she recognises the words ‘Iwa-chan’ scribbled all over it. Though she knows it’s wrong to invade his privacy – especially when he’s in no position to defend it, she can’t help but be curious, reasoning to herself that it must be his best man’s speech, she should at least vet through it once before the wedding. 
It isn’t hard to piece the scraps of paper together, the tears uneven, as if made in a fit of panic or rage. It is, as she thought, Oikawa’s best man speech, and it starts out as expected, with well wishes to Iwaizumi and her. But as she continues reading, running her finger over each word, etched so harshly into each page that the ink bleeds, it becomes evident that that isn’t the only thing Oikawa meant to say. 
‘I know it’s too late, but I love you, Iwa-chan’, she reads with growing horror on the very last page, a suspicious water stain next to these words. Mind whirling, unable to process what she’s just read, she sits at the kitchen table reading and re-reading his words until her vision starts to blur. 
 ‘There are times I wonder if I chose wrong, if I should have held fast to you, the other half of my soul rather than going off to fight in hopeless wars, because I should have known you won’t always be waiting for me to come home. But I will always love you - like the moon loves the sun, even if I can only watch you from afar, so full of light’. 
She should be  furious  – she should head straight to Oikawa and scream and shout and stamp her foot at him, because how dare he say these things  now  when he’s had  forever  to say them to Iwaizumi before she even came into the picture – how dare  he wait until she and Iwaizumi are less than ten days away from being wed. But she doesn’t, because deep inside her, she understands. 
How can she begrudge his love when they love the same man?  
‘Sweetheart’, she faintly hears Iwaizumi say, squinting in the light as he emerges from the dark bedroom. ‘Is everything alright?’ he asks, his voice heavy with concern when he catches sight of her tear stained face.
She wants to tell him that everything’s just fine – but his gaze shifts to the torn papers in her trembling hands and she knows immediately everything is not fine at all when he looks back at her with guilt and anguish branded on his face. 
‘Did you know?’ she asks, hating the way her voice starts to break. 
‘He told me just now’, he tells her heavily, dropping into the seat across her, his hands cradling his head. 
‘Do you love him?’ she demands, ignoring the sob that’s threatening to tear itself out of her chest. 
He looks up at her. There are tears in his eyes. 
‘Yes’, he admits. ‘I don’t want to, but I do’. 
His words knock the oxygen from her lungs, leaving her with a crater in her chest. He loves  Oikawa Tooru, this beautiful, brilliant, broken boy, incandescent with the light of a thousand stars. 
Where does that leave her? 
(Stranded in the dust, abandoned in the dark)  
She suddenly feels as if she’s trapped in her own skin, a vise that’s far, far too tight, burning with the need to turn herself inside out. ‘I need to go’, she manages to spit out, stumbling over her feet. He stands in alarm, reaching towards her but she slaps his hand away. ‘Don’t touch me’, she hisses, grabbing her wallet and phone through a haze of tears. 
‘Where are you going to go?’ he demands, barring the door with his large frame. ‘It’s late, it’s not safe.’
‘Anywhere that’s not here’, she snarls, trying to shoulder her way through. ‘Let me go, Hajime – I can’t stay here, please, let me go!’ She slams her fists against his chest, collapsing to the floor at his feet when she realises it’s impossible to break through the immovable force that is Iwaizumi Hajime. 
‘Let me go somewhere that isn’t here’, she begs him, hiccupping through her tears. ‘You’re hurting me more by making me stay here with him’. 
He sinks to his knees to cup her face in his hands. ‘I’m sorry’, he sobs. ‘I couldn’t bear it if I lose you too’. 
She doesn’t have the heart to tell him he already has ( because she can’t stay, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts), and when her stillness convinces him it’s safe to turn his back to her for a second, she slips through the door and disappears into the night. She hears him shout her name, hears the anguish in his voice, but she doesn’t stop running until she’s safely ensconced in a nearby hotel room.  
Her phone keeps buzzing through the night. ‘Iwaizumi Hajime ’, it reads,  ‘Iwaizumi Hajime’, flashes on her screen, again and again. She tries her best to ignore it, turning her phone on to silent mode, leaving it face down on the dresser but she can’t - her ears still echoing with the heart wrenching panic in his voice. So she rolls over to her phone and sends him a text – ‘ I’m fine, go to bed, you have a doctor’s appointment with Oikawa to worry about tomorrow morning’  – quickly switching it off before he can flood her inbox with desperate calls and texts. 
She tries her best to fall asleep, but she ends up lying awake, counting the cracks in the ceiling. The air in the room is far, far too still, and she feels like she’s suffocating, buried alive from the sand and dirt and earth pouring into the cavity in her chest. Against her better judgment, she uncorks the cheap spirits in the hotel minibar and pours herself shots, one after another, until she drops off to sleep with a single thought swirling around her head. 
The universe isn’t fair - because first it gave her Hajime, then it took him away. 
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It is noon when she wakes, sunlight streaming mercilessly into the room. She sits up with a groan, rubbing a hand across her face. For a second, she wonders where she is, the monochrome sheets so different from the cheerful patterns she uses in their room, before reality  slams into her like a comet to her chest. 
Right. That happened .  
She can scream and cry and try to scratch the face of fate but it won’t change matters. Hiding away from the world isn’t going to make the cruel joke that is her love life go away, so she grits her teeth and steels herself, washing her face and paying the bill before heading home (though if she’s honest with herself, she’s not sure if it’ll be  home for much longer). 
She prays to god or whatever deity there is out there (not the universe, it has a funny way of throwing  shit her way) that Iwaizumi wouldn’t be home, but whatever it is, it’s definitely not listening because Iwaizumi opens the front door while she’s still struggling with her keys. It takes just one look at him for the pain in her chest to make its presence felt again.  
‘How’s Oikawa’s knee?’ she casually inquires, edging around him to slip into the flat. Oikawa doesn’t seem to be around, so she lets herself relax just an inch. 
‘It’s fine’, he responds, his eyes never leaving her face. ‘Just needs some rest’. 
‘That’s good’, she says absently, heading straight for the kitchen, ignoring him as he follows her steps. ‘Have you eaten?’ she asks, pulling leftover rice and dashi stock out of the fridge. He nods dumbly as she heats them both up to assemble two bowls of Ochazuke . Her heart may be broken, but her stomach certainly isn’t, and she’s not about to let herself wither away. He looks at her dumbly as she slides his bowl at him, and neither of them says a word until she leans back in her chair, satisfied with her meal. 
‘Are we going to talk?’ he asks her confusedly.  
‘About last night? What is there left to talk about?’ she replies, keeping her composure firm. ‘The wedding’s off obviously, so we need to inform all our vendors and guests as soon as possible. I think I should be the one to move out of the flat – ‘
He cuts her off frantically – ‘What? Why would we call off our wedding? I still love you, and you still love me, don’t you?’
She gapes at him incredulously. ‘Hajime, you told me last night that you love Oikawa. How is our marriage going to work if you love someone else?’ 
‘But I love you’, he says, his voice cracking. ‘Isn’t that enough?’ 
No it isn’t, and she’s shaking her head because it isn’t enough, it’s never going to be enough, because he may love her but he’s in love with him – has been since they were little boys with stars in their eyes. And his shoulders shake and it’s his turn to cry because  he loves her, he really does, he knows greed is a sin but he wants both him and her, and he wishes that it could be enough. 
 ‘I’ve seen the way you look at him, and I’ve seen the way he looks at you’, she tells him, eyes dry, but there’s a tremble in her voice that she can’t hide - because she’s so stupid, she should have figured this out long before she dug out her heart and handed it to him - but then again maybe she didn’t because she was blinded by staring too long at the sun. 
‘You will grow to resent me if I keep him from you and besides, how could  I possibly compare?’  
Because Oikawa Tooru, blessed with innate brilliance and cursed with a penchant for self-immolation, burns brighter than a thousand stars. 
‘I’m sorry’, he tells her, rounding the table to drop to his knees before her, the look in his eyes so heartbreakingly sad that she has to choke back a sob. ‘You meant the world to me’, he whispers brokenly as he buries his face in her lap. 
‘I know’, she answers him – and gods, her heart is screaming and it hurts - but she loves him so much she knows it’s only right to let him go. ‘But the world will move on, and you need to chase the stars while you still have them in your sight’. 
At this, he lets out a quiet cry, and this time she gives in and joins him, her tears soaking his hair. He wraps his arms around her as she presses kisses into his skin and they stay that way for a while, their limbs entwined, because it finally dawns on both of them that this is it  - it truly is the end of them.
The sun may set and the moon may rise, but the stars - they burn bright in the sky. 
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Her love for him should die (from earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust) – but it doesn’t.  
She packs her life into cardboard boxes and shifts into her sister’s flat. Iwaizumi doesn’t allow her to pay for the cancellation of their wedding, takes all responsibility for informing their guests that the wedding’s off - he says it’s his fault after all, and she doesn’t resist, knowing it’s his way of trying to make amends.   
His face crumples and he tries to refuse her when she returns his ring, but she insists - because it doesn’t feel right, she can’t seem to smile when the silver band catches the sun's light. He doesn’t tell her he keeps it in a box beside his bed, and opens it from time to time.
Oikawa manages to weasel her sister’s address out of Iwaizumi and appears on her doorstep the day before he’s due to return to Argentina with a bushel of white lilies in his arms. 
‘Wait!’ he cries, catching the door with his foot as she tries to slam it into his face, cursing the reflexes of a professional athlete. ‘I won’t take too much of your time’, he promises, and she folds her arms, glaring at him expectantly. 
‘I’m sorry. I’ve treated you and Hajime terribly, haven’t I’, he asks her shamefacedly. 
‘You have’, she tells him coldly, because she desperately wants to blame him for everything bad that's come her way but when he hangs his head, she can’t help but soften her tone. ‘But I understand, Oikawa. How could I blame you when I love the same man?’ 
‘I don’t deserve your kindness’, he responds quietly, after a pause. 
‘But you have it’, she tells him. ‘So live and be happy, for his and my sake’. 
When he leaves, she closes the door and sinks to the floor, burying her nose in his offering of lilies. Its scent is cloying sweet, but she can only taste the bitterness of ash in her mouth.  
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A year later, and she’s back covering the Japanese men’s volleyball season when she runs into one Iwaizumi Hajime again. 
He is the first to speak, asking her a genial ‘how are you’, to which she replies ‘fine’, though she really means - ‘I may be wounded, but I am still standing on my feet’. But Iwaizumi understands -  he always does , and they stay silent for a while. 
She picks up the courage to ask after Oikawa, and she knows he’s trying his best not to light up as he tells her that though he’s back in Argentina, they’re pursuing a long distance relationship. In turn, she tells him about her new boyfriend, ruefully mentioning that though she tried to stay clear of volleyball boys, Akaashi Keiji not only used to play volleyball in high school, but is the best friend (and former setter) of Bokuto Koutaro, national team player and self-proclaimed ace. He laughs at that - but she does not mention it is a relationship born out of the heartbreak reflected in both of their eyes.
‘Are you alright?’ he asks her before they part. It’s ironic because these are the first words he’s ever said to her, but she swallows the memory and this time she responds truthfully.
‘It’s a work in progress and I’m getting there, one day at a time’.  
They exchange bittersweet smiles.
It’s enough for now.
662 notes · View notes
os-hyoideum · 4 years ago
Text
"I have come to a coclusion." Shinsou Hitoshi x fem!plus size!Reader
"i figured out why you're so into me… it's because wherever you grab it feels like a boob" (my inspo, in the form of my stupid thought - I wanted to do a few more of my fav characters, but we'll see)
Word count: 1263 Content: Pro!Shinsou (over 18), fluff (I think), funny (I hope), slighly just suggestive at the end (letting out a perv a bit, but just teensy bit), plus size/chubby/fat Reader, Reader has nipple piercings (I just think everyone -who wants them ofc- deserves them), Reader has big? (heavy) boobies
a/n: Like I'm never inspired to write, this time I just did (and had fun, surprisingly... it's that Shiso brainrot 😔). This is literally THE SECOND time I have ever written something (that isn't an academic essay) in English. Also, THE FIRST time using the second person in writing, but I wanted to try. It's just some quick fic, so enjoy! Also, sorry for, perhaps, a weird use of commas, I don't think I'm ever gonna be able to put them correctly everywhere.
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Hitoshi let out a relieved sigh once he stepped over the threshold to your shared apartment.
It wasn’t anything particularly special, with its open space kitchen-living room combo, bathroom, and decently sized bedroom, but it was a home that brought him comfort after hard days (or nights) of work. Particularly, when it was an unexpected task of giving the talk to aspiring heroes at his former high school - UA.
It was a bit weird for him to get home during late afternoon, as his usual night patrols made him used to getting back at rather early morning hours, but still, he was just glad to be finally in the comfort of his own place.
After taking his shoes off and walking a bit more inside, he was met with a sight to behold (by his own requirements).
There, laying face down on a couch was you, clothed only in a pair of black panties and a sports bra. Electric fan, standing on a side table, was blowing straight onto your exposed back. Hitoshi supposed it wasn’t anything particularly strange, given it was the middle of summer and, additionally, you must have been tired from your work trip; nevertheless, he decided to ask.
“Well, hello there,” he started, crossing his arms and quirking an eyebrow, “That’s a nice view of your ass, but why are you basically naked?”
You propped yourself on your elbows and turned your head back to look at him. The breeze from the fan stung your eyes a bit, so you sat up straight and faced Hitoshi properly. Partly, to just be able to admire him (like usual) and, partly, so the breeze would still be directed towards your back.
“First of all: it’s hot as hell today. I have never been more grateful for our AC… that still was not enough, but well…” You listed lifting one finger up.
“Okay, fair.” Hitoshi nodded. He looked at you lifting another finger.
“Second of all: I had a little, hmm… mirror sesh? I guess it could be called like that.”
Hitoshi knew exactly what you meant and instantly was put on alert. He did not know what to expect from the outcome. You weren’t particularly insecure, but drops in confidence happen to everyone, at the best of times. Having a truce with your body didn’t mean an endless peace.
He looked at you with intensity, looking for any indicators of feeling low, but relaxed a bit seeing you being at least in a neutral, if not even good, mood.
“Oh? Is that so?”
You stood up, the slight jiggle of your soft body not concealed by anything. He had seen you bare many times before (like, a lot of times), but still caught himself admiring the patterns your stretch marks drew upon your skin. He knew it’s not anything special, quite the natural part of the human body, yet he still saw some intricate artistic thought behind it.
“Yes,” you said, putting one hand on your hip and gesticulating with the other, “and you know how I, personally, feel about myself. Like, sometimes it’s good, sometimes bad, nothing new, right?” You asked rather rhetorically, to which Hitoshi still nodded slightly, listening from behind a bar piece separating your kitchen and living space.
“BUT,” you emphasized and pointed a finger at him,” today I was wondering in particular, why YOU like THIS-” you paused to encircle your body with one hand “-so much. And I have come to a conclusion”
Hitoshi hummed and took a sip of iced coffee he took from the fridge in the meantime.
“Yeah? And what’s your conclusion then?”
“You are so attracted to me because everywhere you touch feels like a boob.”
That was an unexpected sentence that left your lips; so unexpected actually, that Hitoshi almost choked on his coffee. Luckily though, he did not. Not paying much attention to your could-have-died significant other, you continued with your reasonings.
“Arm? Boob.” You squeezed your upper arm to emphasize. “Tummy?” A little squeeze creating a roll between your fingers. “Boob.” You propped your leg on the couch to poke at your inner thigh. “Thigh? Boob. Calf? Boob. See? Everything’s a boobie!”
Hitoshi just laughed looking at your excited expression, he assumed from coming to such boob-tastic revelation. He fixed his black headband, keeping his beautiful hair out of his face, and pointed at your leg.
“Well, I don’t remember your boobs being quite so hairy. Though my memory might be failing, after all this time.” He said with a chuckle, hinting at your two weeks of separation, due to your dreadful trip.
“How DARE you!” You gasped dramatically and threw a pillow that Hitoshi expertly caught with a laugh. “Are you shaming my body hair?”
“Oh, of course not,” he smirked playfully, “I quite like your hairy legs.”
With a slightly frustrated groan, you fell on the couch and loudly sighing slid off onto the floor. Sitting behind your low coffee table, you tilted your head down and glared at Hitoshi from under your eyebrows. He knew someone could have gotten scared had they been on the receiving end, but spending so much time with you, he was used to it and just found it amusing. Seeing the lack of reaction from him, you just stood up and walked towards the bar to stand in front of him.
“If you don’t stop, I WILL sit on you.”
Hitoshi quirked an eyebrow at you and turned around. He took a step towards the kitchen sink and, after turning the water on, splashed his face.
“What are you doing?” You asked, not quite expecting him to start washing his face in the middle of a conversation.
After taking a small, clean kitchen towel to dry himself off, he looked you straight in the eye.
“Prepping your seat, baby.”
You stared at him for a few seconds with wide eyes, before slowly clapping and nodding with approval.
“Huh… outstanding move. True dedication to a joke.”
“I wasn’t joking.” But you already knew that.
“Damn…” You started, holding his intense gaze. “Okay, Mr Shinsou, you’re on.”
He looked you up and down with an expression of a man starved.
“You’re in for a ride…” But you already knew that too. “Mrs Shinsou.”
“I’m not Mrs Shinsou.”
“Not yet.” You knew it was mostly playful banter since neither of you was in a rush to make your relationship official. It was comfortable enough, to the point actually, that others did mistake you for a married couple at times. So it turned into a joke, being called by his name.
“Alright…” You smiled softly at him before your expression became much more devious. “Wanna take a shower before I take my rightful place upon my throne?”
Without waiting for his response, you pulled your sports bra over your head. In an instant, Hitoshi’s gaze fell onto your heavy chest. Decorated with shining metal nipples perked up, due to the slight chill from the AC and the fan, both working at full capacity. You turned around and walked towards the bathroom with a nice sway in your hips. In the doorway, you slid your panties off and threw them at Hitoshi with a heated look from behind your shoulder.
He caught them with one hand and, looking you straight in the eyes, brought them to his face. He took a long breath in, taking in your scent mixed with sweat that almost made him dizzy with desire.
He put his cup into the sink and, with your panties in hand, followed you into the bathroom.
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kaizokuou-ni-naru · 4 years ago
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The Voyage So Far: Water Seven
east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)
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i’ve mentioned several times before that the davy back fight is one of my least favorite arcs, mostly because i found it very dragging and tedious when i was reading it, but there are a couple things i really like in it, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, most of them have to do with zoro. i really like his moment here with chopper, and it also showcases his ability to act as more of an authority figure to the crew, which is something that makes a substantial return after enies lobby with the matter of usopp’s return. 
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zoro and sanji’s match in the davy back fight is far and away my favorite part of the entire arc. it’s just really fun.
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like i said, this arc isn’t a favorite of mine, but i do definitely understand why it’s important to the saga and greater story in a couple different ways. one of them is that it’s just an easy, lighthearted detour that both gives the audience a chance to breathe and the strawhats a chance to showcase just how much they love each other and work well together- which turns into a fucking sledgehammer to the skull in the next arc when that unity is directly threatened. and the other reason this arc is important...
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...is because of aokiji.
aokiji’s introductory scene is a brutal showcase of absolute power, and a very clear reminder that the strawhats are still very much little fish in a very, very big pond. all of the strawhats are impacted by this to some degree- it’s how badly they get curb-stomped here that leads luffy to come up with his gears as a way of closing the huge power gap he’s just learned about.
most important, though, are robin and usopp. for robin, this is a stark reminder of the fact that the government will never stop hunting her down; for usopp, who’s less obvious, it’s the seeds of the full-blown inferiority crisis that will later explode with the news about merry. both of their arcs throughout water 7 and enies lobby, essentially the twin emotional backbones of the saga, start right here.
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i really like that the other strawhats all fell asleep waiting for robin and luffy to wake up. it calls back to them doing the same when nami was sick before drum, and also it’s just so fucking sweet. 
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water seven is my favorite island, full stop. if i was going to live anywhere in one piece’s world, i’d want to live on water seven. it’s just so creatively designed and visually great, with the canals and the tiered city and the massive fountain in the middle. the supporting cast are still one of my favorites, and the culture feels very real and authentic. i just love water seven a lot.
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i just said it but it bears repeating- the water seven supporting cast is really good. iceburg, the galley-la shipwrights, franky and his family, kokoro and chimney are all really memorable, and most of them are really likable, too- and cp9, with all their eccentricities, fit in perfectly. water seven’s cast is very interconnected, as well, and their relationships all feel very believable.
all of which, of course, only makes the later treachery hurt all the more.
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the atmosphere of water seven is really, really well done. the bad starts slow, with the news that merry is unfixable, and then continues into an accelerating downwards spiral of hopelessness: usopp and luffy’s fight and usopp leaving the crew, robin’s seeming betrayal, the assassination attempt on iceburg, the city and galley-la turning on them as a result, and the agua laguna- it just gets worse and worse and worse.
and then, after they’ve been stomped down about as far as they can go and come out alive anyways, they pick themselves back up again and go to save their friend, because that’s what the strawhat pirates do.
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i just really like getting to see these four going feral on the franky family, it’s one of my favorite scenes in this whole arc. in general, i tend to love the moments where luffy specifically gets properly angry, and we get a lot of them in this arc. 
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even though the fight between luffy and usopp is genuinely very tense and  fast-paced and would probably be exciting if it were any other two characters fighting, it never really feels anything other than melancholy. i think that’s a testament to just how good oda is at setting the mood of the scene. it’s made very clear, especially through the reactions of the other characters- merry ‘crying’ is fucking heartbreaking- that this is nothing less than a tragedy. 
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:(
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i think it’s kind of interesting we aren’t shown franky’s face until about halfway into water seven. prior to this, we’re given pretty much only reasons to hate him, with his theft of the strawhats’ money and the franky family beating usopp to shit. but just after this point is when we start getting our first humanizing and sympathetic moments for him, starting when he gets worried and a little frantic when he hears about the attempt on iceburg’s life.
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i just really, really like the way some of these water seven action sequences are depicted. they feel very tense and desperate, which matches the general mood of this part of the arc perfectly.
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this panel of usopp working on merry always reminds me of the shots of the klabautermann doing the same during skypiea. i’m not sure if it’s even intentional, honestly, but it’s an extra little bit of heartbreak either way.
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one piece has a lot of amazing spreads, but this might be one of my favorites for sheer impact. cp9, watching as the city they’ve lived and worked in for years burns down in a fire they set, satisfied by a job well done. it’s almost all in black and white with very little grey, which creates some fantastic contrast, and their pitch-black silhouettes against the nighttime inferno are just striking. 
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this entire scene between usopp and franky, as usopp works on the merry and franky gives him advice and tries to make him see its hopeless and they kind of awkwardly, accidentally bond, is probably my favorite in the whole of water seven. it was also the scene that singlehandedly made me love franky as a character.
they have a really good, really enjoyable dynamic, and at the same time the conflict between them is real and understandable, and brought about because they’re both trying to do the right thing.
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tom’s workers are one of my favorite little groups of characters in the whole of one piece’s story, and they deserve more appreciation. they’re family!! a little family of broken pieces who worked together to build something really, really amazing. and they still care about each other in the present, even though they got shattered apart so badly and none of them ever really recovered. 
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this is a tremendously under-appreciated chopper moment. not only did he carry two full-grown men out of a fire, he even managed to get zoro’s sword and iceburg’s hamster. extremely cool of him.
this is also the exact moment the strawhats’ collective luck begins to turn: chopper saves the day, and nami learns that robin did what she did to protect them, and sanji gets aboard the sea train, and from there it’s a no-brakes train from their very lowest low straight to the triumph at enies lobby.
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i love all the shenanigans sanji gets up to with the sea train, i think the whole sequence is absolutely one of his shining moments. it’s always a delight to see sanji get up to Sneaky Bastard Bullshit, and the whole thing is just so fun, which is a dearly needed breath of fresh air after how relentless this arc has been until this point.
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robin’s little smile when thinking of luffy and when she joined the strawhats... :( i’ve noticed it’s a recurring trend for strawhats who try to leave the crew to flash back to when they joined as they do. usopp has it earlier this same arc just before leaving, and sanji does it in whole cake island in the sanji vs. luffy chapter. 
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i really like how much everyone comes together at the end of water seven leading into enies lobby. after how fractured and fraught things have been throughout the arc, both within and without the strawhat crew, it’s great to see them not only all united again for a common goal, but with a huge group of allies at their backs. 
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these three are SUCH a hilarious team, and i would love to see them work together again like this sometime. they’re literally just clowning on the marines all the way up the train, it’s fantastic. 
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factually i understand sanji’s aversion to fighting with his hands and his fighting style is very unique and cool and also meaningful to him because he learned from zeff, and also if i remember right it’s implied he learned how to swordfight from the vinsmokes which makes it very reasonable he would want absolutely nothing to do with that skillset 
but speaking purely in terms of stupid idiot lizard brain i think sanji should fight with knives more
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this is another of my absolute favorite spreads, and i think what makes it for me is the casual confidence- luffy tells zoro to cut the train, and zoro does, both of them with no doubts at all about zoro’s ability to do so. it really goes to show how far they’ve come from back in east blue when zoro couldn’t even cut luffy out of a metal cage.
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there’s something very impactful about the fact that of all the strawhats, robin gets this speech from usopp. usopp, who’s had the worst falling-out with luffy in the series to date, is the one who tells robin: you haven’t left the crew yet, you can’t leave the crew yet, luffy is coming to get you. believe in him. 
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franky’s “existing is not a crime” line is one of the most memorable and iconic lines from this entire saga, and for good reason. it sums up one of the main themes of not just this arc but also the series as a whole- the very same idea will come up again for ace during marineford, and in law’s backstory as well. it’s never a crime to just exist, and people should not never be persecuted for their blood or heritage. one piece doesn’t fuck around with its theming, it really doesn’t. 
to be continued next time, with enies lobby!
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attemptinghaikyuu · 4 years ago
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Fake Dating: Sugawara
A/n: I’m not sure if I made him chaotic enough, but we can hope~
G/n reader
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Sugawara Koushi
Being best friends with Asahi, you end up being at volleyball practice an unnecessary amount
You’re not part of the club, but at this point you might as well be
You and Asahi just kinda drag each other everywhere??
During your time at the club you become friends with the rest of the third years
It’s a tight knit group
You always eat lunch together, and during this time you notice that most other students avoid your general area
Which makes sense, y’all get pretty loud
Daichi’s yelling about the first years needing to work together, Asahi’s trying to not get in the way, Kiyoko’s just chillin, and you and Suga are laughing at it while simultaneously poking fun at Daichi
You make him even madder then he was to start with, and now you’re both regretting it
Suga and you are definitely the most childish in your group
At least that’s what Daichi says, but pffft, what does he know??
It’s not like you both snuck out at night to grab ingredients for a cake for the volleyball team once... and then made it spicy as a prank....
Definitely didn’t do that😬
Your similar interests in causing messes help cement your friendship
But you both have your own ways of cheering people up and that’s how you first genuinely connected and became friends
Being besties with Asahi means needing to comfort him on the daily, not that you mind <3
Being there for Asahi makes you happy, you give him hugs when he needs them and joke about the aces on the other teams not being able to match Asahi’s strength
Suga’s way of cheering others up are hits of love
A bonk to the head and a few words of reassurance to get his friends and teammates feeling better is his go to
Sometimes you team up to encourage someone who’s really down or nervous
By the time you’re both done the person has so much confidence, they probably think they could receive a ball (cough, Hinata, cough)
There’s also the rare occasion where you both turn to encouraging each other
It almost always turns into a competition of who can make the other feel better
These encouragement battles have the whole team gathering around to see who wins
The volleyball team also have to pull you both apart after you start aggressively caring for one another a little too much
It’s a friendship you can’t imagine being without, one where you can go to one another when somethings wrong
You usually go to Asahi when you have a problem though
However, the thing currently plaguing you is something you need Sugawara’s help in
It’s surprisingly easy to explain what’s going on and how you plan on handling it
He straight up agrees because he’s thinking this’ll be free entertainment and he’s pretty sure this will work out for you
Your idea is to gouge your best friends reaction to you dating someone because maybe you have a small crush 👉👈
Okay sO ITS HUGE AND YOU WANT TO SMOOCH ASAHI
So you’re gonna find out if he feels the same through the only idea without you confessing best idea ever conceived
You’re actually really nervous and sweaty when you see Suga before practice at the time you agreed on to tell Asahi
Suga’s smiling and seems relatively relaxed (he’s panicking on the inside, he doesn’t know what he’s doing), and you try to copy him as you spot Asahi
Waving him over, you consider bolting and going home to scream in your pillow, as he gives you a smile asking if everything’s alright
You stand there for a solid minute just thinking how to start this
Then Suga grabs your hand, making you jump as he says, “Y/n and I just wanted to tell you that we’re dating!”
Asahi makes a squeak and stares at you two in shock before chuckling
“I wondered whether you two liked each other,” He pats your head and continues, “I’m happy for you guys.”
You’re smile is strained as you nod and reply with a happy yep!
Aware of the concerned look and small squeeze from Suga’s hand as Asahi goes in the gym, you turn to quietly thank him for helping out, so you can leave as quickly as you can, when you hear deafening WOOOO’s
Looking to the gyms entrance, just in time to see Noya and Tanaka come running out, yelling about how lucky you and Suga are
Uh oh
Before you know it the whole team is around you asking questions like when you got together and who asked who out
Asahi comes over with a smile and tells everyone to leave the new couple alone
So that’s fun :,)
The whole team thinks you’re dating now and if you say you aren’t, then you’ll have to explain to Asahi why you did this
Making an in the minute decision, you answer some questions, “I asked Suga out! And I did it in the middle of one of our compliment battles.”
Suga knows what you’re doing, figuring he agreed to this, he goes along with it hoping you’re alright
Daichi pats you both on the back after the team’s interrogation
Frustration from the situation you’ve put yourself in, has you in near tears, when you finally get to apologize to Suga
Pulling you in for a hug he apologizes too
“You’re not the only one who got themselves into this mess, I did agree to it after all.” He frowns, “I really thought Asahi liked you, that’s why I said yes, so don’t worry. We’re in this together.”
A very radical conversation later, and you’ve decided to keep the dating act up for three months before telling everyone you broke up and we’re better as just friends
Nothing has changed besides you trying to be as close to Suga as possible when Asahi’s around
Daichi ends up asking if you guys actually like the other when you’ve been acting so off as of late
Asahi gives you a concerned look and asks if everything’s going okay as well
If I’m being honest, no Asahi it’s not, and yA WANNA KNOW WHY, I CAN TELL YOUAJTGBGVWZ
You refuse to tell Asahi about your feelings so you and Suga step up your fake dating game😤
You end up holding hands constantly, it’s really comforting??
He squeezes it when he see’s you stressing and it helps calm you down, like it’s super grounding
You make him lunches as thanks sometimes
He knows how to make you feel better and you can’t help but start to search for him when ever you want a hug
A cold day after practice when you’re walking home with Suga you both decided that was a couple thing to do and now you walk each other home he gives you his jacket since you forgot
He’s blushing, Suga really didn’t know you’d look so cute in it
He’s giving it to you constantly after
He gets incredibly hyped about you wearing his jacket, so much so, that you’re a little embarrassed
But... it makes you happy to have someone who cares so much and gets excited at the little things you do🥺🥺
You grab his spare jersey (with the help of Kiyoko) and start wearing it to all his games
He cries the first time he sees you do it
Sugawara isn’t a star player, he isn’t even a starting player, you choosing to wear his jersey has him feeling bubbly and warm inside
He can’t stop hugging you when the games over, he literally refuses to let you go
Not that you care, you love Suga’s hugs
They’re encompassing and safe
You don’t remember when you started talking to Asahi again, but sometime in this fake dating you found you were fine talking with him
You’re actually gushing about Suga and the small study date you have this weekend with him, when he brings up “You have actual hearts in your eyes when you’re with Suga, ya know?”
That makes you stop because what?? You still like Asahi right?
Or wait...
You gasp, startling Asahi as you realize who you like
Panic wraps around you and your friend, noticing tries to reassure you, “Sugawara does the same thing too, he really likes you okay?”
Gulping you ask “He does?”
Once he reassures that Suga does in fact have heart eyes for you, you have a slight confidence boost
Just enough to run to find Suga
He was on his way to the gym when he heard you calling him
He turns, brightening when he sees you running up to him panting
His smile gives you an extra push to finish your impulsive choice
“You’re incredible Suga, whenever I’m with you, I feel like I can take on the would! It’s like you know exactly what I need! When I see your smile after one of my bad jokes, my bad days become good ones!”
Pausing when you see Suga getting ready to join in on your compliment train, you push out the last bit. “You make me incredibly happy! And I have to ask if you’d be my boyfriend beCAUSE ID LOVE TO DATE YOU.”
Suga’s shocked
And then he’s trying to stop himself from crying
Your feeling both relieved and sick to your stomach as this happens
Maybe Suga doesn’t actually like you?? This was probably a mistake wasn’t it????
Before your overthinking can continue, Suga gives you a small kiss
He smiles as he leans his forehead on yours, murmuring “I’d love to date you.”
93 notes · View notes
hello-hajime · 4 years ago
Text
Tall
Iwaizumi Hajime x Tall Female Reader
Summary: Fluff, a little angst, more fluff.  Falling for the university’s ace volleyball player was a mistake. After all, how could he feel the same for a girl who’s comically tall? 
Word Count: 1500
Tall. Since you were a kid, that was the first thing anyone noticed about you. You hadn’t gone a day in your life without some stranger asking if you played basketball. And although you didn’t play basketball, you were fairly proud of your height. You could reach high shelves. Your speed-walking was unrivaled. And when you wore heels, you were a force to be reckoned with. For those reasons and more, you loved your height.
 Until you didn’t. 
 It was your junior year of college when your height turned into an insecurity--because of him. Iwaizumi Hajime, the ace of the college volleyball team. 
You had, of course, seen Iwaizumi on the court. He had been larger than life out there, scoring points right and left with his killer spikes, glistening under the bright lights of the gym. 
You always wanted to congratulate him after his wins, but you were intimidated by the group of fangirls who constantly crowded around him and the team’s setter, Oikawa. 
Instead, you’d always sprint over to high-five your cousin, Tsubasa, who played on the team as a middle blocker. Then you’d head out, trying to make your way to the exit before getting too caught up in the crowd of spectators. 
And it could have gone on this way for quite some time--the spheres of your worlds almost touching, but never colliding. But then, a professor paired you together for a group project.
……………………………………………………………………
Iwaizumi was more than the stranger you observed at your cousin’s volleyball games. You learned things about him that you couldn’t have inferred from his ferocity on the court. That is to say that now you knew-- Iwaizumi was cool, he was smart, and he stood at 5’10”, approximately four inches shorter than you.
You sat in the library, having become study partners after completing such a successful project. You would sit across from each other, for the most part, working silently, but occasionally cracking a joke or having a quiet conversation.
“You know, y/n,” he commented, looking up from his laptop, “I’ve seen that you always come to our games. You usually stop to talk to Tsubasa after, but then, you’re out the door pretty fast.”
“Yeah,” you murmured, bookmarking a source before meeting his piercing gaze. “Tsubasa is my cousin, actually. My parents wanted him to look after me, so he and I share an apartment. And I try to support him by coming to his games.” 
“I see. The height must be genetic, then,” he chuckled, thinking of Tsubasa, who stood at 6’5”, and could block practically any ball that came his way.
“Yeah, both my dad and my uncle are quite tall. I’m 6′2″ myself,” you smiled awkwardly, pushing a strand of hair behind your right ear. 
“But in any case, if you were always at our games, why did you never come meet the rest of the team? Or even say hi to a few of us?”
“Oh, you wouldn’t have missed out on anything, really!” You waved a hand nonchalantly. “You and Oikawa are constantly surrounded by pretty girls anyways. They show up to cheer you on, wearing those adorable dresses, and looking up at you with giant heart eyes!” You laughed.
Iwaizumi sighed. “I’d say they’re more interested in Stupidkawa, if anything.”
“Clearly you haven’t seen the way you glisten under those gym lights, Iwa-chan.” 
His cheeks reddened at your teasing words, and he looked back down at his computer, trying his best to get back to work, or at least, to look like it. 
……………………………………………………………………
It didn’t take much to make you fall for him. 
Maybe it was his crooked smile, or the way he cracked jokes and then scratched nervously at the back of his neck. Maybe it was his green eyes, or the way he’d guide you through an equation by leaning over your shoulder and lightly marking the page with his pencil. Whatever it was, you felt at ease with him. And it was starting to hurt. 
It hurt every time a petite, beautiful girl touched him on the arm and looked up at him.
It hurt seeing him laugh and smile with the fangirls who adored him so much. 
It hurt seeing other eyes watching him, mentally undressing him as he studied next to you.
So you decided--you needed some distance from him. Maybe a lot of distance. Whatever it took for you to get over this crush that was eating you up inside. 
“I’m sorry to cancel, but something’s come up,” you messaged him. 
“No worries,” he replied. “Study next time?”
“I’ll let you know.” 
You didn’t. 
……………………………………………………………………
You had stopped studying with him. You had stopped coming to his games. You had even stopped replying to his messages. Iwaizumi was pissed.
What had he done wrong? Had he done something, said something, that made you uncomfortable? It was like you fell off the face of the planet, right when he thought things were falling into place! 
He hit a ball so hard that his teammate yelped, narrowly dodging it. 
He was glad practice was wrapping up for the day. He was hoping that the steam of the shower would melt away some of these bad feelings. 
Then he saw Tsubasa, toweling off and throwing on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. 
He couldn’t stop himself from asking. He strode up, trying his best to soften the frustration on his face. 
“Tsubasa,” he began, looking at the taller man with sharp eyes, “is y/n okay? I feel like she’s just...fallen off the face of the earth. She won’t reply to my messages, and I just want to know, you know, if I did something wrong.” 
Tsubasa looked down at his shoes, considering his words. “Yeah, y/n is...hurting, I guess. I asked her why she stopped coming to games, and she just said...that when she sees you on the court, it makes her want to cry.” He frowned a little, tying his shoes.
“We were spending a lot of time together, but suddenly, she was blowing me off.”
“Um, Iwaizumi, how do I say this? I don’t think she wanted to. She has a lot of insecurities,” he stood up, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “In any case, I’m going out with some friends tonight. So maybe you should stop by our place. Clear this up in person, you know? I’ll text you the address.”
……………………………………………………………………
You weren’t expecting to see him when you opened the door, and the shock showed on your face. “Uhh...Iwaizumi. What are you doing here?”
“Your cousin sent me the address.” He lifted his phone, showing you the message from Tsubasa. “I know you’ve been avoiding me, y/n. I don’t know what I did, but I want to make it right. Can I come in?”
You sighed, but stepped aside, and he walked past you, carefully slipping his shoes off then continuing towards your living room. 
“Look, Iwaizumi. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s...it’s me.” You focused your eyes on the floor, unable to meet his gaze.  “I started to get these feelings, feelings I knew you couldn’t return. So I was trying to put some distance between us.”
His eyes widened, but you didn’t look up to see it. 
“I’m...sure you’re uncomfortable now. I’m sorry. You can go if you want.”
“Y/n...what the hell are you going on about?”
Tears streamed down your face, and you wiped at them uselessly. “That’s...pretty harsh, Iwa.”
“No, I mean--no, don’t cry, y/n! I didn’t mean--fuck!” He pulled you into his arms, feeling you sob. “How could you think that lowly of yourself? Y/n, you...”
You sobbed even more at his words, taking them as a piss-poor attempt at comforting you. “I know that the other girls--your fangirls, the girls in class--want you. I see how they look at you. They want you, too.  And they look so good next to you. I’m so comically tall. I’m stupid looking. It would be an embarrassment to be with someone like me.”
You pushed against him, and he released you, staring wide-eyed at your shaking form. 
“Y/n...did you just tell me that...you think I could never like you, because you’re taller than me?”
You didn’t say anything, instead just nodding.
“Y/n,” he laughed, combing his fingers through his messy, dark hair, “I’ve literally had feelings for you all this time. You thought I didn’t like you back because you’re tall? What kind of guy would I be if I couldn’t handle my girlfriend being four inches taller than me?” 
You finally looked at him, utter shock on your face. Insert surprised pikachu meme
“You want to be with me?” 
“You know, you’re kind of a dumbass, y/n. Yeah, I want to kiss you. And hug you. And,” he whispered, “make you scream my name. So let me show you how badly I want you.” 
He pulled you into a passionate kiss. Then another, then another.
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strawbrrysun287 · 4 years ago
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Office Chaos #1
Hi everyone!! Recently I got into writing again and decided to cross post on here and AO3! If you take the chance to read it I hope you enjoy it <3 This will be part of a series of one shots! Happy Reading <3<3<3
If there was one thing Seokjin could safely say, it was that he was a confident gay. He would always throw a wink or a kiss to baristas, those who held the door open for him, or just anyone within the distance of him if he was feeling particularly playful.
That being said he was also openly gay. In no way shape or form was he afraid or worried about showing the person he truly was. Be it soft pink off-the-shoulder sweaters, a pair of heeled boots that made his bum look like it was carved by the gods (fun fact: it was), or even a black shirt with pastel lettering literally saying (I’m Gay, Suck It).
This was amazing for his social and love life because there was no confusion platonically or sexually. However, a certain middle-aged squat ugly fuckwad who was too dense to realize sooner Seokjin’s sexuality despite all the signs decided to fire him solely for Seokjin giving a customer, a fellow gay, his number.
In his defense, the customer was cute, was hitting on him, and was even interested and gave his own number to Seokjin as well. So all in all, who could blame Seokjin? He was young, horny, and single.
But back to the original issue. He was fired for being himself which led him to where he is now. Walking down the busy streets of Seoul heading to some gaming design company for an interview as a personal assistant to the CEO. It was a major jump from a barista to PA but he had experience… in high school, he was student council president, led three clubs, and even fixed their student budget so that way they could throw a fun concert/overnight party for the graduates.. Okay, maybe that one was a little selfish. It was still experience though! College didn’t exactly go as planned but he still was involved in the radio station and another club… although he couldn’t for the life of him remember what the club was about.
As he arrived in front of the building he could feel his heart beating against his rib cage just the tiniest bit more. He was confident though, he could do this. It would be a breeze. Throw a wink or kiss at whoever was interviewing him, talk about his experience, talk up himself and his abilities, then leave with the job and start the following Monday.
Walking inside of the building left him just the slightest breathless. Fuck. Who designed this building? Who PAID for the building? Or the interior decorating? As he tried calculating it in his head he vaguely heard someone clearing their throat but didn’t pay it any attention. After a few more minutes he finally snapped out of his calculations when the throat-clearing wouldn’t stop. He was two seconds from shoving a glass of water down the person’s throat only to look around and realize the throat-clearing had been directed at him.
With a guilty smile flashed towards the main receptionist, Seokjin finally made his way up to the desk gripping the strap of his bag even tighter.
“Kim Seokjin? I’m here for an interview with a Mr. Kim? For his personal assistant?” Despite the flash of nervousness when he was caught staring into space he quickly put the confident smile back on. The receptionist seemed less than pleased though.
“Elevator down the hall to the right. Floor 35. Park Jimin will help you from there. Try not to stare off into space again, yes?” With a sinister smirk, the lady lifted her hand just to point down the hallway and Seokjin took that as a dismissal which is exactly what it was. It didn’t stop him from mumbling down the hallway the whole time though.
“Honestly? With that kind of attitude, it’s amazing someone hasn’t dumped their coffee over her by… accident... “ Once inside the elevator he hit the button for the 35th floor and listened to the boring music as the numbers flashed above the elevator doors showing what floor it just passed. Once the doors opened for the 35th floor he took a deep breath and stepped out.
Immediately he noticed an adorable guy, younger than him with bubblegum pink hair and the cutest smile when his eyes crinkled. Okay, maybe this place wasn’t all bad. That was until he heard a deep voice shouting, seemingly the pink-haired man’s name if the way his head snapped over was any indication, and then there was a body colliding with his sending him straight to the floor with the other man on top of him.
“Kim Taehyung!! You need to watch where you are going!!” Pink-haired guy’s voice rang out. Seokjin wouldn’t be surprised if the entire floor didn’t hear the shrill yell. Which seemed plausible as there were four other heads that poked out from different rooms like little peeping parrots. Well, this was turning out to be quite the impression to leave on the people he would hopefully soon be working with.
“Sorry, Jiminie! But!! We got the house! I just got the email and we can close on the house today but we have to be there within the next hour!”
“Taehyung I swear on Yoongi’s new laptop th-”
“Don’t be swearing on my things Park Jimin! I will skin you alive!!” A voice seemingly coming from nowhere yelled in offense.
“... that you better be telling the truth or else I will make you sleep our on the balcony for the rest of the week.”
“It’s real. Like really real. The realest real you can really real kind of real! But we have to GO. NOW!”
“Okay okay! Fuck. I gu-.. Oh… Hello there. I uh… kinda forgot you got thrown to the ground in the process. I hope you aren’t injured? No injuries right? Taehyung can’t afford to be sued we are closing on a house today. Uh… if I make Namjoon Hyung give you the job would you be willing to forget this entire mess? He still owes me because of that ridiculous picture I took of him a few weeks ago when he decided to get shit-faced.”
It was official. Seokjin clearly hit his head too hard on the floor and now he was in some kind of dream drama. Shouldn’t the drama involve some super hot guy? A best friend who has his own issues but they support each other no matter what? What about the chaotic couple who he questions how they are still alive? Well… he might have found the chaotic couple. But that didn’t mean anything else. Once he realized he was being spoken to he had to blink a couple of times in order to clear his head and only vaguely caught the end.
“You… you would force your boss to give me the job just so I don’t sue the guy who knocked my ass to the ground? What if I tell you I wasn’t planning on suing him anyway? Although it did kind of hurt but if you could still get your boss to give me the job that would be fantastic and I would kiss the floor you walk on because this job is desperately needed and I’m too handsome to be walking from building to building begging for a job.”
Finally getting up from the ground he rubbed the back of his head where it hit the floor before fixing the wrinkles in his shirt. As he finished getting straightened (HA) out again another deep voice that was almost addicting echoed from down the hall along with heavy footsteps and deep down Seokjin just KNEW that the person coming towards him was the big boss. AKA the one who would hopefully be signing his checks if he got the job. Before he could utter a single word bubblegum hair spoke up again.
“Namjoon Hyung! This is Kim Seokjin, your new personal assistant. Long story short, Me and Tae got the house but in his excitement he kind of barreled into your new assistant here and sent him hurtling towards the floor, and because I’m a good honest person I told him I would assure him the job.”
Namjoon stared at bubblegum hair, Jimin?? In what seemed like absolute boredom like this was a daily occurrence. Well then again, it might be. Things were already more than a little chaotic but chaos is where Jin thrived.
“Jimin. You can’t just give people jobs because Taehyung knocked them down. You have so far given away a car, an apartment, a date, a fashion shopping spree, and part of your investment in the company which I was thankfully able to get back all because Tae didn’t watch where he was going. You know, apologizing in a HEARTFELT way will do the job nine out of ten times.”
“Okay you may speak some facts but I already gave the job to Seokjin and I already read over his resume. He seems like he can tolerate you well enough and you need an assistant to start ASAP because Tae and I have to go sign for the house okay hyung? Make sure you show him the ropes and don’t fuck it up! Bye!!”
With that Seokjin and Namjoon stared as Jimin dragged Taehyung along into the elevator with a cheeky smile and flirty wave before the elevator doors closed on the image that left the pair sputtering.
“Well… I guess they won’t be back till tomorrow afternoon. At least all my morning meetings are finished so I shouldn’t have to worry too much. Ah. Kim Seokjin-sii I apologize for the uh..”
“Chaos?” Jin supplied with a cheeky grin of his own.
“I suppose that is the best possible term for what happens on the 35th floor. Since Jimin already gave you the job I am in no way able to deny it and if I’m being honest I am in desperate need of an assistant as all my paperwork is piling up and I’m not sure where the mailroom is or where the place I normally get coffee from is and the coffee here is made by my director of media and he makes it as black as his soul is what he says at least and no amount of sugar makes it any better.”
And that’s when it happened. When Jin went from being the confident flirty gay to the shy flustered panicked gay that he always read about in stories. Namjoon smiled and he had dimples. Fucking dimples. There was no way the man standing in front of him was real. Tall, handsome, successful, understanding, kind, big hands, muscled if the fabric fighting for its life stretched over Namjoon’s biceps and thighs were anything to go by, and he had fucking D I M P L E S. Who did this Kim Namjoon think he was? God? Actually, that may be true. It wasn’t until he realized he was about to suffocate did Seokjin exhale the air he was holding in before stuttering out a hasty reply.
“Assistant? Now? Like now now? Me? For you? Coffee? I’m good with coffee and with paperwork. Yeah. I can 100% do that for you, Mr. Kim. And there is no need for formalities you can just simply call me Jin as I will be working closely with you. With you. Closely. Working. Yeah. Now?”
Seokjin knew the second the last syllable left his mouth that he was an idiot. A certified idiot who shouldn’t be allowed to be the personal assistant for a business of Namjoon’s caliber but like hell, he was going to give up the opportunity to get to know the taller man and completely wow him. Fuck was he even gay? It didn’t even matter. He could figure that out later down the line but first…
“Just tell me where to sign Mr. Kim and we can begin our new… partnership as boss and assistant. I promise I’ll do everything to learn the ropes quickly to help make your life a little less hectic.”
“Namjoon is just fine Jin. Even though I’m your boss I like to keep a close relationship with those who work close with me. You will find everyone on this floor is on a first name basis and the chaos is real and alive everyday.” And there were those fucking dimples again.
Maybe Seokjin needed to send a gift basket to his homophobic ex-boss because this new adventure at Kim. Co was going to be fun.
Chaos and all.
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altumvidetur · 5 years ago
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Haikyuu!! Fic Recs (BokuAka)
Fic Recs Masterpost
So, I was thinking about the coronavirus pandemic and what I could do to help people out. I’m isolated because I’m at higher risk, so I can’t really offer to go out for my elderly neighbors or my family… but I thought I could try to help keep people entertained.
Because I don’t have an AO3 account right now, I’ve been compiling fic recs for my own amusement for a year or so. And I thought – maybe that’s the time to share these with everyone? So everyone will have plenty of things to read while they have to stay at home, or even to escape anxiety a little bit if you’re forced to go out.
Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.
I’ve decided to split it in a series of posts, starting with my OTPs. This time it’s BokuAka’s turn!
cookies and cream, by norio
Some people might tell Akaashi that he couldn't bake his worries away.
But some people haven't dated Bokuto Koutarou.
dozens of red roses, by norio
“And what’s the boyfriend getting for Bokuto’s birthday?” Kuroo asked, mirthful grin on his face.
“Oh,” Akaashi said, distracted by the magazine. “The next time he visits the dentist, I’ll pay for half what the insurance doesn’t cover.”
The silence dropped around the store like a chilling and killing frost.
i put my hand out, unfolded, into the sunlight, by carafin
In which Bokuto Kotarou is woefully inept at conveying his feelings, and Akaashi Keiji has a sort-of superpower. Sort of.
-
Next to him, Komi is chewing his cupcake dutifully, albeit with obvious effort. Washio has assumed a completely neutral expression on his face, although Akaashi thinks that his eyes might be watering. Sarukui, having seemingly demolished the entire thing out of sheer willpower alone, looks like he deeply regrets every single choice that has led to this precise moment in his life.
‘It isn’t too bad, huh?’ Bokuto says, grinning. ‘I made them in our school colours, so they’re like, marbled black and white chocolate swirls! Do you guys want more?’
Sarukui looks like he might pass out at the thought alone. Komi pauses mid-chew to shake his head weakly.
‘I’ll have more,’ Akaashi says, to the general astonishment of everyone.
better than spy films, by dalyeau
Akaashi knocks Bokuto out and Bokuto falls in love. Kuroo laughs about it.
Maybe We’re Airborne, Baby, by fathomfive
Realizing he's got it bad for his setter is the easy part. But getting his feelings across might be Bokuto's biggest endeavor yet, not counting his literature final or putting out the flames on that birthday cake he tried to bake for Akaashi last year, or—or a lot of things, actually.
But the point still stands. Reaching out to Akaashi is a leap in the dark, and Bokuto wants it more than he's ever wanted anything. He's an expert at seizing his perfect moment, at bringing victory home against the odds. So he's got this, right? It's gonna go great, right? Right?
(After all, it's what you attempt with your own two hands that matters.)
heavy heart, a love apart, by drifloon
(802): Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Character Development, by silvercistern
"That’s some kinda gratitude. What happened to my painfully polite little brother? I get the ideal guy to take you to prom, and you act like he's not even here!"
"I doubt I’d let him take me to the hospital if I were bleeding to death."
Keiji needs a date. Bokuto needs dating lessons. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
prepare for rain, by norio
“First you must make a delicious bowl of tea; lay the charcoal so the water boils; arrange the flowers as they are in the field; in the summer suggest coolness, in the winter, warmth; do everything ahead of time; prepare for rain; and give those with whom you find yourself every consideration.”
- Sen no Rikyu
cracks in the pavement will lead you home, by deusreks
Bokuto often thinks about Akaashi, especially when he’s running. It’s like his legs know where they’re supposed to take him. He grows into a habit of running a lot, just to keep that feeling going. Cracks and holes in the pavement aren’t fun to jump over if the final reward isn’t seeing Akaashi’s face.
An alternate universe with a little bit of magic and a lot of growing up.
il mio ragazzo falso, by Karasuno Volleygays
With his grandparents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary looming fast and large, Akaashi finds himself urged to bring a date and not quite to the point where his family knows that said date will not be of the female variety.
At some point, he has to decide which will be the least frightening prospect — braving coming out to his family or endure Operation: Find Keiji A Girlfriend 2k15.
And why is the only person he can think of to drag along to this thing his overly-spirited volleyball captain?
#someonepleasesaveakaashi
right in the head, by Mysecretfanmoments
That was the other thing: when Keiji had said he wanted to make his way home, Bokuto had agreed—as if it didn’t matter where they went. He hadn’t said "we should look for a community" or "there’s probably nothing there anymore".
He’d just asked which way.
((the bokuaka zombie au literally no one asked for))
how to become a birder, by norio
“Since I’m Bokuto,” Bokuto said, giving an unnecessarily meaningful look, “You know what I want, right? It’ll be easy! You take pictures of me, I turn them in, my professor says I’m the smartest genius, I graduate, I go play pro, I win the Olympics.”
The World’s Best Kept Secret, by kythen
The struggles of keeping a relationship a secret (when it really isn't a secret at all).
third wheel, by arsenicjay
"So you and Bokuto, huh?"
Akaashi's attention snaps back to Kuroo and he gives the other boy a blank stare. "What about us?"
Or, Kuroo figures out that Bokuto is interested in Akaashi long before Bokuto does himself and being the kind friend that he is, tries to help them along.
cherished, by gabstar
Bokuto tends to panic when Akaashi expresses discomfort or concern. Akaashi didn't need that. Akaashi was better off handling this alone.
((In which Bokuto's love sick, Akaashi's sick-sick, and together they feel a little better))
Kissing Ace, by Karasuno Volleygays
It happens right after training camp.
Akaashi Keiji has a secret he has guarded since he was a child. He won’t go so far as to call it a fear, but more of an aspect of himself of which he is horribly mortified. No one on the team knows about it, and Akaashi does his best to keep it that way. But years of dodging hugs and casual contact come to naught in the blink of an eye and the swipe of a hand.
legs killed the owl, by dalyeau
He's not smiling anymore an hour later, after he's fucked up four perfect spikes that Akaashi tossed carefully for him because he's too distracted by the lean, elegant line of Akaashi's legs, kneepads dark against the white of Fukurodani's gym.
tea-stained polaroids, by dalyeau
“I'm gonna date that,” Bokuto declares solemnly, and Kuroo throws a plastic spoon at his head. 
owls, by ThinkingCAPSLOCK
It was no secret that Bokuto genuinely loved owls, considering his locker was full of them, but Akaashi kept his own like of the animal very low key.
How Bokuto found out otherwise, he didn't know.
all lost souls, by norio
Not again, Akaashi thought. But he had never seen this sight before.
run rabbit run, by norio
Rule #1: Don't hurt Akaashi. Rule #2: Don't taint Akaashi. Rule #3: Don't involve Akaashi. Rule #4: Don't damage Akaashi. Rule #5 (optional): Try not to destroy yourself.
gwah, bam and swoosh, by dalyeau
When Bokuto meets Kageyama the first thing he thinks is, No five year old should be able to scowl like that.
Or be that tall.
Then, Shit, his dad is really hot.
Spoiled, by gabstar
Akaashi desperately needs a new mattress and he drags his loyal, loving, and very loud boyfriend with him.
omam verse, by shionsheart
Though some may believe they're monsters, those closest to them know they're just men learning how to love in this world of magic, demons, and faeries.
i’ll return home one day, by awkwardedgeworth
"Bro," He asks Kuroo out of the blue one day when they're toweling their hair dry, "What if Sawamura is halfway across the world and he only comes home seven times a year for around four days each?"
"I would consider every moment a blessing. You got it bad for Akaashi already?"
"I just wish you would introduce us sooner."
Or, wherein Akaashi is a world famous violinist, Kuroo introduces him to future Olympian-to-be Bokuto Koutarou. And Bokuto pines. A lot.
morning owls, by norio
Most of the time, if Bokuto woke up first, he would shake Akaashi awake. Sometimes he would bake sloppy pancakes for breakfast in bed, and sometimes he would sit on Akaashi's waist.
And sometimes he did not.
Insomniac Olympics, by Aetherdrive
Akaashi never thought he could inspire anyone, let alone an artist -- and then he met Bokuto.
counterclockwise, by miiniwa
How they had gone from point a to point b in such a short amount of time, he doesn't know. But as he dwells on it, he realizes that he doesn't exactly mind.
if kisses were fishes, then i’d be an ocean, by norio
Akaashi needs a fake date partner, so he grabs the first person he sees.
the way you look at me, by ThinkingCAPSLOCK
Bokuto sees him every day, every commute, at the final train. The stranger he only knows as Train Guy. Wrapped in coats, mystery, and distance - that is, until Bokuto breaks their familiar silence. He struggles with the hardest part of befriending someone he thinks he already knows: taking a step back to reevaluate all his assumptions.
He finds the easiest part is getting to learn about Train Guy all over again.
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intersex-ionality · 6 years ago
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So, about that flag...
Not to start a Discourse Riot or anything, but the entire lesbian flag debacle? Like, literally the whole entire thing?
It’s all a terf thing.
All of it. Not just the labrys flag. Not just the lipstick flag. Not just the butch flag. The entire fact that we’ve been trapped discussing a fucking flag design for multiple years and it’s literally tearing our community apart at the seams benefits one group and one group only:
TERFs.
Note how bi men and bi women use the same flag. Note how ace men and ace women use the same flag.
Note how trans men and trans women, the literal people for whom gender is the defining issue of queerness, the people for whom a gendered division of flag politics could actually, arguably be considered a real issue, use. The same. Flag.
Note how the first lesbian flag is now a TERF symbol.
Note how every subsequent lesbian flag has all the same flaws, which cause it to realistically only be possible for the design to be re-created by large companies rather than independent queer creators on any kind of significant scale, forcibly excising actually poverty-level queers from participating in anti-capitalist revolutionary praxis.
Note how the profusion of lesbian flag designs has been used as a tool to fracture queer solidarity and further feed into the increasing and almost entirely TERF-motivated and TERF-empowering belief that lesbians are somehow Separate and Especially Hated by the rest of the queer coalition.
Now, this doesn’t mean that every person who participates in lesbian flag discourse is a terf or everyone who designs lesbian flags is a terf or whatever. Don’t get your heads that far up your asses.
But really take a step back here.
Really think about this entire shitshow from a greater perspective.
Who benefits from this?
Not even straight people are particularly empowered by this, or at least, no moreso than they are by any kind of queer fracturing.
But TERFs? Oh yeah, TERFs get a HUGE power boost by isolating lesbians from the rest of the queer community and turning them into an easily targeted and abused population.
Literally step one in indoctrinating someone into a cult is to fucking isolate them from their greater support systems, for fucks sakes.
And this whole, “look how much all the other queers hate you! They’re just as bad as the everyone else! They won’t even give you a flag!” shit?
It 100% isolates lesbians from the queer community and makes them accessible to TERF indoctrination.
So, how do we solve this problem?
Well, in my personal opinion, the obvious solution is to fucking eliminate all TERFs on sight by silencing them until they actually fucking learn to be decent human beings, and re-claim the Actual Historical Lesbian Flag from their disgusting, bigoted, abusive hands.
It’s a good flag, Brett.
Tumblr media
An image of a puppy, holding a labrys flag. The dog is also wearing a first place ribbon that is rainbow colored.
I mean, really, look at that flag. What did TERFs ever do to deserve a flag that features such a beautifully designed melding of yonic and phallic feminine symbolism? That is so unrepentantly destructive towards societal norms? They’re such fetishistic, conservative shitheads.
But, like, listen. This is just an idea.
The real fucking thesis statement here is that this entire fucking flag debate is a fucking TERF propaganda piece.
I am losing my mind over the fact that no one ever seems willing to acknowledge this, we all just keep barreling forward in making it even harder and harder for independent queer creators to actually integrate lesbians into our work, and making it easier and easier for TERFs to isolate lesbians from the queer community and turn them into more fucking TERF shitheads.
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emybain · 5 years ago
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Quarantine: Renegades Edition
so please don’t take this seriously. i honestly don’t remember writing half of it, but it be like that. this is simply a glimpse into the lives of Nova and Adrian during a global pandemic, aka snippets of the few months they’re in quarantine together. also, happy birthday to my girl nova. there’s a bonus/crack scene at the end that was inspired by tiktok, as well. i regret nothing (other than this poorly written fic)
ao3
“They’re saying this thing could spread into June, July, maybe even August,” Adrian said, relaxing back into the leather couch, pulling the laptop with him. Nova adjusted against him, pulling the blanket over her legs just a little higher as the AC powered on. 
“That’s if people keep being dumbasses,” Danna replied from behind the screen, leaning forward to rest her head in her palm. “It’s our job as citizens to prevent the spread of this disease. Why can’t people get that through their thick heads?”
Nova and Adrian were on a video call with the rest of their friends, who were all also quarantined in their homes. Nova had her own apartment, but at the very start of this outbreak—a new disease that was rapidly spreading around the world—she decided that quarantining by herself for an unknown amount of time wouldn’t be good for her mental health, so she packed up clothing and other essentials and headed over to the Everhart-Westwood residence. Not to mention that a mansion was vastly better than a one room apartment. Oh yeah, and she supposed being stuck with her boyfriend every day wasn’t so bad. 
“They’re being ignorant,” Nova chipped in. “People think that they’re immune, or that this virus is being blown out of proportion.”
“When they get sick, I’ll laugh.” Ruby popped a cracker in her mouth before the camera became blurry as she moved. She appeared to have shifted from lying on her back to her stomach from a spot on her bed. There was minimal background noise from her end, which was suspicious since she shared a room with two teenage boys. They must’ve been off playing video games, probably who Max was laughing with from his room upstairs. 
Narcissa poked her head out from behind a lengthy book from her place on Danna’s bed in the background of Danna’s screen.. Like Nova, she lived by herself, and would rather be with her significant other than be alone. “This isn’t the first time a pandemic has spread throughout the world. There was the European Virus fifty years ago, coronavirus back in the 21st century, the Spanish Flu in the 20th century, and so on and so forth.” She waved a hand in the air. “Hopefully, people will come to their senses. History always repeats itself, no matter how hard we may try to prevent it.”
“Thanks for the optimistic input, babe.” Danna rolled her eyes and cast a glance back at her girlfriend.
“It’s what I do,” Narcissa replied, returning her attention back to her book, but there was a smile on her face. 
“Well, maybe when things start to calm down a bit, we can all hang out. A picnic or in cars or something.” Oscar shrugged. “Six feet apart, of course. I’m not about to catch something from you nasty people.
“Did you just suggest a picnic?” Ruby snorted. “You might want to check your temperature. I think you’re getting sick.”
“You seem to forget all about the many picnics we’ve had.”
Ruby stuck her tongue out in response, then straightened a little and turned her head to the side. “What?” she yelled. After a moment, she turned back to the screen and groaned. “Ugh, I have to go. Mom’s making me bake with her again. Maybe this time we’ll try something besides bread or cookies.” She waved at them before she vanished from the meeting. 
At that moment, the front door clicked and opened, revealing Hugh and Simon, both carrying multiple grocery bags. 
“My dads just got home from the store. We should probably go help.” Adrian sat up, leaving Nova to fall a little in his direction as she had been leaning on him. 
“Hi Adrian’s Dads!” Oscar yelled, though they were already out of the room when he did so. Nonetheless, they both shouted back their greetings from the kitchen. 
“I should probably go, too. There’s this show I started bingeing and I finished the fifth season last night. I’m dying to know what happens after that cliffhanger.” Danna leaned back in her chair. 
“Oh, is it that one you were telling me about?” Nova raised her eyebrows. “Based off of that movie series?”
“Yes! And watch it so I can rant to you about it! I’m so pissed off at the main characters. They’re just...so stupid.”
With that, the remaining five waved and said their goodbyes. Adrian set the laptop down on the coffee table in front of them, and they both stood up. Nova stretched, her muscles tired from sitting for nearly an hour. 
In the kitchen, Hugh was unloading the bags while Simon busied himself with spraying the items with cleaner and wiping them down with a paper towel. A couple of weeks into quarantine and Nova and Adrian knew what to do. They got to work putting stuff away, with Nova on pantry duty and Adrian at the fridge. 
Although Nova hadn’t been out in public since the world went into quarantine, she could tell that the grocery stores and other places were beginning to recover from the initial shock of the pandemic. With each trip to the store, Adrian’s parents came back with more and more food and supplies. Hugh had even decided to buy a fridge to store out in the garage for extra food that didn’t fit inside. She found that to be a bit ridiculous, but it seemed to make him happy. What was it with men and having fridges out in their garages?
“Is Max upstairs?” Simon asked, pushing a milk jug toward Adrian. 
“Yeah. I think he’s playing video games.” Adrian shot Nova a look, and she repressed a smile; they both knew what was about to come. 
“Has he done any schoolwork since we left two hours ago? Or at least left his room?” 
“I think he left to use the bathroom about forty five minutes ago,” Nova said. She glanced at the knock-off brand of her favorite crackers in her hand and sighed, placing it on a shelf. The off-brand wasn’t bad, but it certainly wasn’t the same. It was the type of product that you had to buy name brand, as the imitations were just a waste of money. Alas, with the pandemic, she knew it was a fight to get the good products before anyone else. 
“He’ll get it done, Pops,” Adrian reassured. “He’s been doing fine the last couple of weeks. Just going at his own pace, is all.”
“I know.” A sigh escaped Simon’s mouth. “And I’m glad that he’s able to be a kid now, but being a kid includes doing your homework.”
Nova thought of the classes she was taking at a local university. She was doing her best to keep up with her online work, but as the weeks dragged on, she was losing motivation. “This quarantine is probably nothing for Max, remember? I’m sure he does his work whenever he wants to because he actually enjoys doing it.” She shrugged. “Better than sitting around surrounded by glass walls.” 
“You’re probably right,” Hugh added, washing his hands once the last of the groceries were out of the bags. “I’m not too worried about him, just as long as I get to see his face once a day.” He chuckled at his own words. Simon offered a smile in support. 
Once all the groceries were stored away, Nova and Adrian headed downstairs, taking the laptop with them. 
__________
Adrian stood from his seat, where he had previously already been on edge. 
“Nova, where are you going?” The glare he received was enough to scare off anyone else. He had seen this side of her before, though, and was unfazed. “It’s almost midnight,” he added, only increasing the glare.
“Anywhere but here.” Her eyes turned to Hugh, who crossed his arms in response. The two were arguing. Again. It was something that was new to their quarantine, having only surfaced about a week ago. They liked to argue over literally anything, from who got to have control over the remote to whether or not Nova should be a part of their daily “family walks” to the current state of the government and the involvement of the Renegades, who were no longer in charge but were still heavily tied into politics. Hell, even the weather wasn’t safe from their growing agitation with one another. Today, everything had been going fine, for once, until Hugh just had to bring up a curfew, as Nova liked to leave the house at odd hours. 
“This house is a fucking nightmare.” She gripped the keys to her motorcycle in her hand and turned to the door. From beside him, Adrian heard Max mutter something about irony under his breath. He too, despite entering the years of being a disagreeable teenager, was sick of the fighting. 
“Language, young lady,” Hugh said, warning laced in his tone. 
“Once again, you’re not my dad,” Nova gritted out. She opened the front door, revealing the darkness outside. “And you never will be.”
“Nova, what he’s asking isn’t completely unreasonable.” Simon ran a hand through his hair and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “You’re in our home for who knows how long, so as parents, you’re now our responsibility. Even when you’re not under our roof, you’re our responsibility. We just want you to be safe.”
“If you don’t want to follow our simple rules, then why are you even here? We’re paying for an apartment not two miles north from here, and you’re not even there. Instead you’re here, wasting our time and resources.” Even though the words weren’t directed at him, Adrian felt a chill go down his spine. 
Nova’s mouth opened, and she stared at Hugh blankly. Adrian could’ve sworn he saw her eyes welling up. “I’m here because I didn’t want to be alone. I’ve been alone my entire goddamn life, and I didn’t know if I could handle doing it again.” She swallowed, hand turning on the screen door. “But it’s not like I expect you to understand.” And then she was out the door. 
Adrian rushed forward, eyeing his dad coldly. “Seriously?”
“She’s out of line!” Hugh defended, although Adrian could see the regret in his features. 
Choosing not to answer him, Adrian shook his head and went outside. Nova was at the end of the driveway, sitting on her motorcycle and looking down at the ground. Adrian approached her slowly, making sure his steps were loud so that she knew he was there. 
“I don’t walk to talk about it.” She hid her face even more from him when he bent down. “You’re welcome to come with me, but I don’t want you to get in trouble for breaking curfew.” Her voice soured at the word. 
“I understand why you’re mad, but don’t avoid me because of it.” He lightly nudged her chin with his knuckles. 
“He’s just so...so…” she lifted her head up, running a hand through her hair in frustration as she tried to find the right words
“Stubborn? Controlling? Self righteous?”
“Yes.” She let out a laugh, though it was void of humor. “It’s just...who does he think he is? I’m an adult. Even if he was my father, he can’t control what I can and cannot do.”
“You seem to forget that I’ve had to live with him for years,” Adrian said dryly. He reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. “I’m an  adult, too, but that doesn’t matter because he pays the bills.”
Nova gave him a long look. “You really need your own place.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“But you get what I mean.” She looked down at their hands, turning them around to examine the back of his. “I’m not his kid. It’s different with you because you’re his son.”
“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to keep you safe.” Her grip on him tightened, just slightly. Even though it had been a few years since the events surrounding the supernova, Nova still had trouble believing that her former enemies actually cared about her. It was hard to trust them when it had been ingrained in her from a young age that they were the bad guys. 
“I can take care of myself fine. I’ve been out in the middle of the night so many times I’ve lost count. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid.” 
Adrian sighed and rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. There wouldn’t be any reasoning with her, at least not tonight. He had to let her cool down and return to the subject when she had a clearer mind. “At least come back inside? We can go play video games downstairs, or watch a movie, or do anything you want. I’m sure once you and Hugh are both calmed down, you can reach a compromise.” 
“But I don’t want a fucking com-”
“Or he’ll see things your way,” he tacked on quickly. Right. When she got like this, it had to be her way. It was funny, how she resented Hugh at times for his stubbornness, when she was equally as stubborn if not more so. This quarantine was really getting to all of them. Adrian couldn’t wait for the day life could go back to normal. 
“Adrian? Nova?” Adrian turned his head around to see Max, who was squinting at them through the dark, despite the outside lights being on. 
“What’s up, Max?” Nova shifted her body on the bike to face the teen. 
“Pops wants to know if you’re coming inside soon. He needs to set the alarm so he and Dad can go to bed.” Max paused, eyeing the bike. “Unless you’re going for a ride, then he’ll leave it off.”
Adrian waited for Nova to answer, as it was up to her. Nova ran her free hand over the bike, then sighed. 
“We’ll be in right behind you. I was just...checking some things on her.” All three knew she was lying, but Nova was still learning how to express her emotions in front of others. Even in front of Max, someone she got along with as well as she did with Adrian. 
“Alright.” Max turned to leave, then glanced back at her. “You know, things are rough right now, and I know it isn’t easy for everyone to be in isolation for so long, but,” he shrugged, “at least we’re together. I was able to make it in a quarantine for ten years with no one but myself and the doctors for company, so this is easy for me, but I know I’m probably the only person on this planet who thinks that way.” He let out a soft laugh. “I guess I’m just trying to say that I’m glad you’re here, and that I’m glad our family is quarantining together.” The smile he shot her was genuine. He turned back around and walked back to the house, where Adrian could see the outlines of his dads watching at the door. 
“Huh.” Adrian watched his brother go inside. “Just when you think he’s starting to learn how to be a proper kid-”
“-he goes and spouts shit like that?” Nova finished, shaking her head. Adrian could see the small smile on her face through the curls hiding her features. 
“Yeah.” Adrian squeezed her hand. “C’mon, let’s go back inside.”
“Okay.” 
__________
Nova placed the mixing bowl in the sink and turned on the faucet. She reached into a drawer and grabbed a towel, placing it under the running water. The kitchen was a mess, although she had seen it in worse states. At least the ingredients were all stored away so that she could get started on wiping down the counters. Hugh and Simon were at headquarters for the day, as their presence was required for something Nova didn’t care enough to know about, and they figured it would be best to work from there instead of coming home. And, according to Simon, them being out in public and at headquarters would be good for publicity. It had been a while since they stepped into work, seeing as even the Renegades had to obey social distancing orders. 
Point being, they were out of the house, so Nova could do whatever she wanted without questions being asked. And she had grown to appreciate baking during quarantine, among her long list of new and revisited hobbies. The Everhart-Westwoods always, to Nova’s surprise, had sweet tooths, so they never minded that Nova made a mess of their kitchen; it was just when Hugh or Simon entered the kitchen and started asking a bunch of questions that got on Nova’s nerves. Today, she could bake in peace. 
Or so she thought.
“Mm. Smells good in here.” She looked up at her boyfriend, who just entered the room. He peeked at the oven. “Cupcakes?”
“Muffins,” Nova corrected, setting the used towel next to the sink. There was dried paint on his forehead, as well as on his hands. She had to shake her head. How was it possible to get so dirty? Well, she should speak for herself and her flour-covered apron. 
“Oh, well, same thing.” He shrugged and grabbed a water glass from a cabinet. 
Nova blinked and reached for the remote, which was sitting beside her, and paused the show she was watching on the kitchen’s small TV. “No. No not really.”
Adrian chuckled and nudged her lightly as he passed her to the fridge. “Yeah, kind of. The only difference is cupcakes have frosting.”
Nova scoffed. “The only difference? They’re two completely different things. That’s like saying ice cream and gelato are the same.”
Adrian turned to face her, leaning against the fridge. He took a sip of his water. “Ice cream and gelato are the same. One’s just claimed by the Italians.” 
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Those aren’t the same, either, dumbass. Ice cream, clearly from its name, has more cream than gelato. And gelato’s more dense than ice cream. Those are just two differences.” She crossed her arms. “There are more.” 
“And? What does that have to do with muffins and cupcakes?” 
“Because they’re not the same.” Nova had to laugh at the absurdity of it all. And Adrian claimed he was a smart person. Yeah, maybe smart compared to sloths. “Muffins are considered a bread. Cupcakes are...well...cake. Two completely different recipes. You can’t just slap some frosting on a blueberry muffin and say it’s a cupcake. Maybe it looks like one, but the flavor and textures are way off.”
“They both are made the exact same way, babe. No difference.” With the way he was smirking, Nova had the thought that he could just be messing with her.
“Don’t ‘babe’ me.” She glared at him. “Fine. If you won’t believe me, the baker, then you don’t have to eat any of my muffins. Not cupcakes.” 
He groaned and reached for her, but she dove out of his reach. “Nova, don’t be like this. I’m sorry. They’re not the same, okay? Happy?”
“Not until you’re honest.” She checked the timer above the oven. “I’m going downstairs for a minute.” Pointing a finger at him, she added, “Don’t mess with them. I’ll know.”
“Admitting defeat?” he called at her back. 
“Hell no,” she tossed over her shoulder. “This conversation is far from over, buddy.”
She definitely heard him mutter rudely how he knew, but chose to ignore it. After all, she was the bigger person in the relationship. 
__________
Adrian turned into a parking spot and turned off the car. He glanced over at Nova, who was giving him a very pointed look.
“The park? What did you plan? A picnic?” That was, in fact, the plan, but only part of it. 
Leaning over, he planted a gentle kiss on her lips. It only softened the look a little. “You’ll see, nosey.” He unbuckled himself and opened the driver door. “Now, come on.”
She rolled her eyes, but got out as well. Seeing her in a pair of cutoff shorts and a simple t-shirt was refreshing, as she had been wearing sweats for the past two months, ever since the world was sent into quarantine. She and Adrian both had been dawning the same three pairs of pants and shirts for weeks now. But, this was the first time they both actually got out of the house, save for their daily walks or motorcycle/car rides, so it was only fitting to get dressed up for the occasion. And by dressed up he meant ditching the sweatpants. 
Also, it was Nova’s birthday. Adrian hated that she was being forced to spend it unceremoniously, when so many of her birthdays had gone practically unnoticed growing up with the Anarchists, so he took it upon himself as her boyfriend to do what he could for her. And that meant having a socially distanced picnic in the park with their friends, who they hadn’t seen in person in months. 
They walked down the sidewalk hand in hand, going into the grass whenever a biker or runner passed by them to maintain distance. Adrian almost wanted to pull his mask out from his pocket, but knew he was probably fine. Besides, if he put his mask on, Nova would follow, and he knew how much she hated wearing them, for obvious reasons. They were outside, and there were hardly any people in the park.
“You’re an idiot, Adrian Everhart,” Nova said once they could see their friends, but there was a smile on her face. They were all spread out on blankets, making a circle, and in the center sat an unoccupied blanket piled with food and gifts. 
“Hey, I can’t take all the credit.” He squeezed her hand, grinning down at her. 
“It’s about time you two showed up,” Oscar said, checking his watch. “We’ve been here for hours. We’re starving.” He stood and went to the middle to start making a plate. Adrian made a face at his back. He had specifically asked that they wait for Nova until they started eating in the group chat, so he guessed Oscar was holding his word. He waited, after all. 
“Twenty minutes,” Danna corrected from her spot beside Narcissa. She looked at them and rolled her eyes. “Happy Birthday, Nova.”
Everyone chorused in their ‘Happy Birthdays’ and Nova thanked them as she and Adrian sat down on the one remaining blanket. “You guys didn’t have to go and do this for me.” She turned her gaze specifically toward Adrian. He raised his hands in defense.
“Blame Oscar for putting the idea in my head. All he ever talks about when we video call is how bored he is.”
“That’s true.” Nova shook her head in amusement. “This is very sweet, but don’t expect me to cry or anything.”
“You cried on your seventeenth birthday, and that’s enough for us,” Ruby teased. 
“That was literally two years ago.” Nova ran a hand over her face. “It meant nothing.” 
“Mhm,” was Ruby’s response, but Adrian could tell she wasn’t convinced. None of them were, obviously.
Nova peered at the food pile. “Is that Mediterranean pizza I see?”
“Yeah, and it’s all yours,” Oscar clarified, passing a plate he made for Ruby to her before sitting down himself. “I still don’t understand how you like that. There’s not even meat on it!”
“There’s also cannoli’s.” Adrian stood to go make them both plates. He knew that cannoli’s were one of the few desserts she liked, probably because they weren’t that heavy. “Do you want one or two?” 
She pondered the question for a moment, then smiled at him. “Two.”
When he returned with their food, she leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“What was that for?” He handed her plate over.
“For being you, and for giving me the best birthdays ever.” She shifted her body to lean against him. “How’d you know I wanted to see everyone for my birthday, anyway?” 
“Because I know you.” He kissed her forehead. “Happy Birthday, Nova.”
__________
Bonus crack scene:
“I would like to thank everyone for joining me today,” Nova said, swirling the water in the wine glass she snatched from the cabinet. Since Hugh wouldn’t let her drink actual wine, this was the next best thing. She cleared her throat. “I took it upon myself to observe the members of this household over the course of a week and rate everyone on their performances.” She pointed to the pyramid of papers set up on the wall, held there by type. There were pictures of everyone in the household behind a white sheet of paper. Starting at the bottom on the left side was the worst member, and the one at the top was the best. Why she decided to do this, she had little clue, but she figured it would be an entertaining activity to spice up everyone’s day.
“Is that what this is? I thought it was something actually serious.” Hugh leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. There was a smile on his lips. 
“It is serious.” She pointed her glass at him. The fast movement caused a bit of water to slosh over the side. “It has come to my attention that there are people in this household who have some improvement to work on if they want to move up next week.”
“If I’m not at the top, I’m breaking up with you,” Adrian joked, adjusting the glasses on his face. She narrowed her eyes at the camera he was pointing at her.
“I do not accept bribes.” Tearing off the first piece of paper, she began. There was a snicker, probably Max. “Hugh.” He immediately started protesting, but Nova silenced him. “No, no, no. You’re mean to me. Always looking to post up or some shit.”
“Language,” he warned, though his tone was light.
“Not to mention you don’t let me express my true self by cussing,” she added sharply. “Also, you tried to kill me three years ago and I’m sorry, but I just can’t forgive my haters like that. Try better next week, okay?”
“Hold on, wait a second.” Hugh held up a hand. “First of all, young lady, if you want to bring up the past, it goes both ways, but we’ve both changed for the be-”
“No comments at this time,” Nova interrupted. She ripped off the next sheet of paper. “Next up is Nova.” Laughter broke out in the room. Even she couldn’t help from smiling. “Not gonna lie, I held out hope for this one, but she’s got a lot of issues, if you know what I mean. Always picking an argument, refuses to participate in family activities, and is kind of just there. Doesn’t really do much of anything. The only reasons she’s above Hugh is because, for one, she’s far more attractive, and she bakes stuff for everyone.
“Adrian-”
“Oh, come on!”
“-you refused to cuddle with me yesterday and watch guilty pleasure movies because you said you were busy. You argued with me the other day on the validity of the Star Wars prequels and sequels.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “And you’re filming me without my consent. Other than those things, though,” she shrugged, “pretty cool boyfriend. You didn’t say anything when I stole one of your sweatshirts the other day, so that gets you some points.”
“Wait, the gray-”
“Max is next.” She tossed the white paper to the ground. “You never say anything mean to me, unlike some members in this household, but that could also be because you spend all day on video games. Because of that, I’m afraid you can’t be higher.”
“Hey, I’ll settle for third.” Max shrugged, grinning. 
“And that’s why I like you!” She nodded firmly. “In second place, we have Simon. Who doesn’t like Simon? You always have something nice to say, and on occasion, you’ll back me up in an argument because you’re an intellectual. I always enjoy our deep conversations, too. Truly a wonderful person.”
“Thank you, Nova. I enjoy our talks, as well.” Simon chuckled. He looked pretty pleased to be on top. 
“And that leaves us with,” she ripped off the last paper at the top, causing the room to erupt in laughter and clapping, “Obi Wan Kenobi. Truly an iconic and handsome man. Every time I watch Star Wars, he brings up my serotonin levels. Not just because he’s cute, but because he can land some sick burns.”
It was easy to say that, thanks to Adrian’s video, Nova started a trend all over the world.
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