#at least with the ending i wont. who knows for the parts leading up to it hehehehe

[dekupalace]

Hi I'm the Anon from before where I said I was scared of the ending not being a happy one. And then you said it was going to be.

My newest prediction is that you're a liar and I don't believe you. Please prove me wrong. Don't make me sad :(

LMAO????? anoooon have some faith in me!!!!!

[marlshroom]

came to the fucked up realization after finishing gravity falls again last night the parallels of the dream bubble bill made for mabel and the literal state of delusion he keeps himself in.

in the book of bill on the page where bill cipher describes how he figured out a way to manipulate her into giving him the rift, it says:

"Summers ending, my guy. Ending to death, bro. She'd do anything to make it last just a day longer. Probably something RASH and OUT OF CHARACTER, even!"

as we know, mabel cannot handle the fact that she will be growing up. that the relationship with her brother is going to change. she is scared of high school.

bill then says "That was it. She'd never make a deal with me. But she'd make a deal with someone she believed could give her more time. The dream was done. I had her."

bill then creates the dream bubble for mabel, he makes every one of her dreams come true, a place where time is still and she can be a kid forever. a lie so great that she wont have to face the truth.

in journal 3 on one of the pages bill is writing in code, we see this:

[ID: "I ask you, why must[should] time only move forward? Why must cause preceded effect. Who voted on the law of physics."]

my friend helped me break down what bill means by this:

why can we only move forward in the 4th dimension of time. why does something have to make another thing happen, why must cause come before the effect. why cant you move backwards, in the other direction, change the decisions youve made.

how interpret this is bill asking why he is not able to back and stop what he did to his family. he says to ford that he tried and failed to undo the past.** why did him wanting people to acknowledge his advantages instead of suppress him lead to the destruction of his whole dimension?

**(i just want to point out that this is probably the time where bill is the MOST open to anybody, or at least the first. to his henchmaniacs he had been telling them that he liberated his dimension until the oracle discovered the truth. here, to ford, he got so much closer to telling the truth. he SHOWS ford the last atoms of his world. he says that it was destroyed by a monster, not that it was liberated! destroyed)

back to when bill says "I had her" about mabel, he had her cause he knew exactly what needed to happen to trap mabel in a delusion because it is exactly what he is doing to himself. creating a fake narrative of what happened to him, that he was vindicated in killing his whole dimension. only ever doing exactly what he wants because confronting the truth is too scary for him(good fucking lord). the morality page offers good insight into this too.

i am actually just going to quote the whole page and highlight the important part. it speaks for itself really

"THE POINT IS it's[morality] is a very flexible concept! But parents and presidents don't want you to know that, because then you might start asking other questions, like who put them in charge, anyway? So they cram your brain full of guilt and regrets for transgressing the laws that they just made up(the laws that they made to prevent the destruction of their dimension, regardless of if the law + the wrongful medication of a fucking baby triangle did any good to actually prevent it). Wouldn't it be nice if you could put all that baggage down? Quell the shame that follows you everywhere for a lifetime of crimes? MAKE THE SCREAMS FINALLY STOP? The good news is you CAN silence that annoying voice, and here's how!

DENIAL

Works 100% of the time in every situation. What you you mean there are people who disagree? I can confidently say there aren't!

RATIONALIZATION

If you can do it, you can justify it! "Truth" is open-source code and anyone can edit it anytime! Want to be like me? List 3 "evil" things and then 3 "reasons why they're actually good." You'll be rationalizing like Bill in no time!

DETACHMENT

Did you know 100% of your human cells die and are replaced every 7 years? That means that anything you did 7 years ago wasn't even you-it was some dead loser! You can't be held accountable for what a dead person did! What? You think this is just another form of rationalization? I DENY THAT!

THE BILL CIPHER DECISION METHOD!

Working over the eons, the voices in my head teamed up and worked out a foolproof method for making any decision in any situation.

DO WHATEVER I WANT."

ooooooooooooooooooh boy.

he is fully admitting here that he is living in a completely different really in order to justify doing whatever he wants. he gives mabel the tools to deny, to rationalize, to detach herself from the reality of it all. that time has to move forward. and he thinks it will work because it worked on himself.

but it doesn't work on mabel because she understands that she needs other people. shes vunerable, she lets people in, admits when shes wrong. and bill cant do that because it would destroy the fantasy he's created for himself.

[gatorbites-imagines]

Helloooo, I can request omega bakugou helping his mate/alpha ace reader with their rut? I thought it might be sfw since u don't feel like writing smut atp :3

Omega Katsuki Bakugou x Ace Alpha male reader

Headcanons

(aged up characters, obviously)

Seeing ace requests in my inbox always make my smile because, hey, that’s me. Where my ace homies at. I’ve very rarely written omegaverse before, but I got so much worldbuilding about it, if you guys are interested.

I have too much worldbuilding and ideas about Omegaverse, so this is a little out of the norm for your usual smut filled rut plot.

For omegaverse, I never imagine that heats or ruts turn you into a horny breeding crazed animal. Yes, with your mate you will feel a lot more arousal and might have moments where you become fueled by your desires, but the majority can still control themselves.

For you, who’s Ace as well, the breeding part isn’t present more than your bodies instincts, but its nothing extreme. It feels the same as when you are really hungry. Sure, the feeling is there, but you can easily go about your day and not let it bother you.

But ruts do more than just make you want to have a lot of pups and crawl all over your omega, even if your omega is as hot as Katsuki is. It tends to cause a lot of stress on the body, from cramping muscles to overheating, dehydration, pacing and other factors that could lead to stress.

So, in Katsuki’s situation, his job during your ruts is mainly to take care of you. To make sure you’re eating and drinking enough fluids. That you aren’t overheating by patting you down with a cold cloth or using ice packs, or even making you cold baths.

He treats it a lot like a very horribly cold for the most part. Sure, your scent also makes him slick up a little and makes his own scent sweeter and riper, but Katsuki is still clear headed and more focused on taking care of you. Especially when he knows you do the same for him when he has heats.

I imagine Katsuki is still his usual snappy growly self, but he doesn’t yell, since ruts also makes your hearing more sensitive. Instead, he just grumbles a lot. With a lot of insults that has no heat thrown in, just because its Katsuki.

As an alpha, you don’t really need a nest, but you bet your damn ass Katsuki makes you one. And only with the best rut materials out there. He won’t accept anything but the best, and Katsuki honestly stresses more about your rut nest than he does his own heat nest.

It reaches a point where, during the early stages of your rut, you just kinda have to thrown yourself in it and show him you like it and accept it.

I could imagine Katsuki worrying a lot, since he knows your ace and he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable with his own scent. Does it bother you that he starts smelling like preheat? Does it make your rut worse? Better? Does he need to leave?

He would also fear crawling into the nest with you, at least in the beginning. After you pull him in multiple times, or tell him to get in, he starts to calm down. You can’t stop him from worrying though, it’s in his blood.

Being ace also doesn’t mean you don’t feel arousal and the like, so if you need to get off, he’s not gonna stop you, and wont touch you unless you want him too. Katsuki knows it won’t go farther than just some touching, if it even gets to that, and he’s more than satisfied.

Having and Ace partner honestly probably helps take some of the stress of his shoulders. He knows you won’t have the same expectations as some other alphas, that he needs to give up on his hero career and be a “good” omega.

Which is also why he’s ready to bend himself backwards to make sure you are comfortable during your rut. Even if staying nearby and taking as much care of you as possible pushes him into preheat, Katsuki is strong enough mentally to keep it bottled up until your rut it over.

This does mean you end up having to take care of him afterwards too, and you gotta call in favors with your friends to cover Katsuki’s patrols, since he didn’t expect to go into heat.

But all in all, ruts with Katsuki are a very planned out affair. Sure, you feel miserable and like you’re boiling on the inside, never able to find a comfortable sleeping position, and like you need to claw your own flesh off. But at least Katsuki is by your side the entire time, ready to hold your hand or hold you as a whole if you need too.

You do have to put up with his nagging though, but you know its just how he shows affection, so in the end it makes you purr at him. Which just gets Katsuki to get all flustered and pretty.

[desire-mona]

this most definitely isnt an original thought and i've probably heard it on a podcast before but. i am so married to todd's sweaty tooth madman poem being a metaphor for not accepting being gay.

so here's me picking the whole thing apart (and not proofreading anything)

so starting with

the sweaty toothed madman of course being walt whitman, who we all know is (at least rumoured to be) gay. now the interpretation of whitman being a metaphor for todd's sexuality is nothing new, but i'd like to expand on it.

"i close my eyes and this image floats beside me"

i see this as any moment todd has to himself, no matter where he is, he is reminded whitman/ the fact that he's gay. the specific usage of closing your eyes to mean that the image/ reminder is always there, always following. i see the use of the words "beside me" in a couple different ways. either to suggest that the reminder is just out of view, being pushed away just enough to not be the main focus and more something you see in your peripheral, or in a 3rd person perspective, seeing todd and the imagery of walt beside eachother, coinciding with eachother. i could see both interpretations working equally as well, or even comined.

"the sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brain"

THIS LINE. i loooove his use of sweaty toothed!!!!!

if you're not sure what sweaty toothed means, it just kinda means ur teeth r. wet. drooly mouth. i see this madman being sweaty toothed to mean that he's "hungry", not literally, but more desiring something. this being truth, which i'll get into later.

the stare that pounds my brain. oh man. ok so obviously this means that the image/ thought is intimidating, terrifying, threatening. the implication that todd being gay is as much of a threat to his life/ wellbeing as a madman that has it out for him, both ideas causing him an insane amount of stress.

this line is fairly simple to me, the reminder goes from something that terrifies you but ultimately can go unacknowledged, to a constant, overbearing thought that suffocates you enough that you HAVE to face it in some way or another. todd is facing it fearfully, letting it take control of him and how he acts rather than tackling the idea himself. he is defenseless against this part of him

truth (ur gay)

todd thinkin this truth will leave him unsatisfied in life :-( not only in the love sense tho! with his family too, if they find out god forbid, theyll surely view him differently and cast him off even farther than they already do. i also like to think this is him lowkey complaining that the blankets at welton are too small.

this also, devastatingly enough, reminds me of the bit from rocketman where elton comes out to his mom.

clip from rocketman (2019)

and he's mumbling. he's mumbling! this truth is still cloudy, not full realised, still being pushed away. whitman wants the truth, todd wants the truth, but he's still not ready, everything's still uncertain. this uncertain truth could also pertain to todd's feelings toward neil specifically, but i dont think that was the intention. todd does exist as his own person!

this ones simple again. you can fight off your feelings and sexuality all you want but it still wont really lead you anywhere you wanna be. you either end up marrying someone you dont love (women), or you end up alone. also the heavy emphasis on physical violence toward the Truth Blanket could be a metaphor for the physical danger todd would be in if anyone found out, but im not hellbent on that idea.

god. "from the moment we enter crying, to the moment we leave dying," is a BEAUTIFUL way to convey "your entire life" todd you have such a way with words. anyway. i take this as something like. this is something you're born with and cant change, todd was born gay, obviously, and it will never go away with any amount of effort. hence the wailing, crying, and screaming.

also i view the specific line of "it will just cover your face" in a couple different ways. either to mean this truth will suffocate you no matter what you do, or this truth will leave you needing to hide major parts of yourself from the world.

this got a bit repetitive, i apologise. but i still have more to say.

some parts of this poem i find to be a bit too wordy to have been come up with on the spot. do i think todd is talented enough to do so? absolutely! but i just dont think that's the case. i have no doubt in my mind that a LOT of what he said in front of the class was either already on his mind, or was written down beforehand but eventually scrapped.

specifics i have in mind are the concepts of a sweaty toothed madman and a blanket that leaves your feet cold. i dont think this sweaty toothed madman was written specifically with whitman in mind, i think it was just a vessel for his anxiety generally. but the blanket i just KNOW was thought out and written down with the intention to like. be a metaphor for being unsatisfied.

and that only makes the class laughing at that line that much worse, no wonder he wanted to stop! not only was todd incredibly brave for continuing after, but keating was unimaginably quick to get the focus back to the poem. he knew that metaphor meant something to todd, and choosing to expand on that was actually an amazing way to drive that home.

either way, todd's far more brave than i ever could be. i'd be shitting myself up there.

also if u disagree with any of these points are wanna add anything then TELL MEEEE!!! art is anything but subjective and i looove seeing how you guys view things like this.

[thequietkid-moonie]

Darling has a really bad memory

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Yukito Tsukishiro ]

[ Card Captor Sakura ]

⚠️ Yandere, I don't support nor try to romanticize this toxic behaivor, is just for entretaiment

Requested by my dear friend @ladyel1x1r3l0p3r

My first time writing for a yandere ccs character and I have to admit that i love it completely!

I have to write more often for ccs!!! Is literally one of my favorites mangas ever!!! I'll try to write more, I promise

Yukito is the kind of person who despite his love being too intense it can go unoticed easily by how kind and gentle he is with everyone, is quite obvious the lovestruck for his darling but is easily brush off. Also, Yukito may not be the smartest person but somehow he always has an idea of whats going with his darling, if Yukito loves someone then Yue does it too, and even if he haven't being able to fully awake due his new master weakness that doesn't stop him to lead Yukito to pay close attention to his darling

For Yukito is so easy to get close to his darling that it just feels so natural for him to get into every aspect of his darling's life, anything that is important or brings you troubles then is now important and his trouble too, he invades your privacy and even gainins more and more control over your life but since he does it with gentleness it becomes easy to fall into his charms. Despite the fact that Yukito doesn't really intent to be posesive and manipulative over his darling deep down is what he wants and he is following his heart (being also Yue's influence)

Despite how concerning can be his darling's bad memory Yukito will never see it as something bad, even if you have troubles remembering simple things like your own name is fine, what if you have to take a few minutes to try to remember his name? is fine, he will wait with a smile until you remember, what if you forget escential things or take too much time to do things because you can't fully remember? don't worry, he can be at your side at all times to help you remember!

Yukito will never be bothered nor mad at you for not being able to remember some things, and honestly he is indirectly taking this oportunity to make you dependent of him, don't worry your pretty head because he can be at your side to guide you through your day, being there to fill in the gaps in your memory with his words and instructions, he doesn't mind at all if he has to spend the rest of his life at your side helping you remember simple things, its fine, he gladly do so

As much as Yukito doesn't mind your problems with your memory Yue does, not that he blames you but he just gets worried sick everytime you forget something important, what if one of these days you forget how get back to home or forget something that can end up truly harm you? everytime something happens to you, even the smallest thing, Yue has the impulse to come out and hold you close, even if he has to force Yukito to transform and hurt him in the process he doesn't care, as long as he can make sure he is there to protect you and that you wont leave him like his previous master then is fine, he doesn't care about anything else when it comes to your safety

Yukito and Yue indirectly agreed that he most never leave your side to ensure your safety, but Touya is the one who can see through Yukito's kindness and try to talk him out, letting him know how unhealthy this relationship can get since it will become of dependence for both parts, but no matter how much Touya tries to reason with him Yukito never listen (and Yue gets defensive, so is not of help neither), so at the end Touya decides to just leave him be and try to help him with helping you remember as much as posible, at least to assure you wont harm yourself (and approve school, he can see your and Yukito's frustration when you aren't being able to retain information when studying)

Despite having so bad memory the fact that you are able to still remember things of your daily basis like your friends and family it bring him some relief, he feels happy for you and even more by the fact that you can actually remember him, and he gets incredibly flattered by the simple fact that you can remember things that has to be with him, something like saying his name without having to take too long can make him feel so much emotion that just end up feeding his love and dependence, so if you remember more things about him, like his birthday (or even anniversary if you two are together) it makes him feel more and more possessive

Once Yue can finally take his own form and use Yukito's body it wont take him long before make himself present to you, it doesn't even matter for him if he is being risky or even end up introducing himself to you before to his new master, with the problems you constantly are in he need to let you know that he will protect you as soon as posible, and this is a situation a little tricky because if you don't remember him Yue will be mad and even offended but if you remember him he will feel incredibly flustered and his possessive attitude will only grow, leading Yukito to also be more and more possessive with you

[divinesolas]

The Seatfiller (1/2)

Summary: You got the job as seat filler at the grammys and you just so happen to be sitting next to your favorite band, the dragons. Anything can happen.

Pairing: Modern!Singer!Aegon Targaryan x Fem!Reader

Warnings | none for this chapter, smut in the next part

w.c | 3.4k

part two

You two have been friends for years and luckily stayed in touch despite going to different colleges and working different jobs thanks to you too living in the same area. You can hear her getting into her car, “Do you have a dress yet?” you shake your head, “I have a couple in my closet-” It was the truth, they had all been dressed you've worn before sure but you liked each of them. “No! We need to go out and go get you a nice dress so you can look nice and hot and they'll fall in love with you.” You scoff and shake your head not that she could see.You were delusional but not that delusional, “I shouldn't-” “I'm on my way so you better be dressed.” You groan, she always ends up getting what she wants so you reluctantly agree. “Fine.” “Yesssss, we're gonna get you a dress that will have that one guy on his knees for you, trust me.”

She’s not a fan like you are but knows of your obsession with them so ‘that one guy’ she happens to be referring to is Aegon targaryen.The hot lead singer who also happens to write and compose a lot of their music. He’s mesmerizing from his attractive face to his enticing voice to his charming personality. He had it all and you had a huge crush on him. Or at least in the way a fan can like a celebrity. What if you were sitting next to him? What if he smiled at you? Would he be able to tell you're a fan and have been obsessively keeping up with him and his band for years? It would be humiliating but you would only be there for forty-five minutes. Or at least you hope so.

“Don't be ridiculous.” You can hear her driving as you move to change out of your pajamas, “There is no ridiculousness in it! He will be sitting near you and there you’ll be sitting looking hot as fuck and he’ll have no choice but to fuc-” “Enough!!” You could feel yourself getting red as you shook your head as if she could see you. You hear her laugh as you finish putting on your clothes. “I'm right though!” you sigh, “No youre not.”

You wait around for her to come then you rush down to meet her. She gets out of the car to hug you before you both get back in and she drives you to the mall. Once you arrive she grabs your hand and drags you over to one of the more expensive stores, “I can't afford this-” “I'm paying.” you scoff at her and try to rip your hand away from her, “No way.”

She turns to you and gives you a glare. “This is your big night! Consider it an early birthday gift.” You attempt to argue with her some more but she still does not listen as she drags you around the store. “Now lets look, hmm no this color wont look good on you. Ugh no this is too long.” When you finally accept her ‘gift’ you begin to look around with her, attempting to pick out the cheaper options before she quickly shuts you down, “You would never wear that in your life stop looking at the tags.”

You swear you've been in this store forever trying to find a dress but can't find anything until you look near the back and see it. You pull it out and rush to show it to your best friend whos eyes widen upon seeing the dress. “That's the one.” You try it on and you walk out to show her. She squeals as you spin around, “It's perfect! If nobody wants to fuck you in there ill do it myself!” you laugh and face the mirror. The dress makes you feel hot, you admire yourself and you smile.

“See? I'm a genius, we're getting it.” After attempting to pay and having your card slapped out of your hand you two manage to leave the store. You turn to her and give her a hug, “thank you.” “Of course.” you two laugh and pull back, “Now let's go get dinner and you pay.” “Bitch.” you two laugh as you walk away from the dress store.

On the day of the event you couldn't shake your nerves as you put the finishing touches on your outfit and makeup as your friend tries to boost your confidence. “Come on, you look so good, look at you.” You sigh and nod as you stand up and look at yourself in the mirror. You really did look good and there was no point getting worked up you would be in there for forty five minutes in and out then you could go and freak the fuck out afterwards about how you sat next to your favorite band.

“Are you gonna ask for an autograph?” “They said I can't do that in my contract. I just need to sit there and look nice until I'm supposed to leave.” she groans and rolls her eyes, “Boring.”

You check your phone and see your uber is almost here, “I gotta go.” She stands up and hugs you, “Love you girl, text me when you get there k? And try to get laid.” You laugh and flip her off as you walk out your front door.

The door shuts behind you and you sigh trying to relax, the night will go just fine. You hope.

The room filled with cheers as another award winner was called, the camera panned to the dragons who had smiles on their faces before shifting back to the stage. Once the camera was away Aegon covered his mouth to yawn. “Aegon…” Aemond, his brother and drummer of the dragons, was sitting next to him glaring at him, “What? I'm tired.” Aemond rolled his eyes and Aegon giggled to himself. He hated these award shows, all he wanted to do was get back to his studio, drink some beer and write up a new song but instead he was stuck here watching these stuck up people win awards he didn't care about.

The long and boring speech was finally over and they cut the cameras. Aegon let out a sigh of relief, the person next to him got up and was rushed backstage. Aegon couldn't remember their name but they were supposed to present at some point during the night. One of the staff of the event came over to the group, “A seat filler will come over to take his place now, please do not be alarmed.”

Jacaerys, The Bass player and childhood friend of aegon and aemond, gave the staff member a smile, “It's no problem.” The staff member nodded briefly before walking away, seemingly going to fetch someone. Aegon wasn't really paying attention until he spotted he felt a soft brush of someone as they sat down next to him and a soft apology.

9:00: He looked over and saw the most gorgeous woman he's ever seen. Now that he has his eyes on you he cant take him off.

The dress you wear suits you beautifully, his eyes linger on your chest area before trailing down to the rest of your body. God you were gorgeous, suddenly aegon became way more interested in the event.

The woman turns his head to him feeling his stare and gives him an awkward smile before turning back forward.

He sat up straight and readjusts the cuffs of his suit causing aemond to give him an odd look. “What the hell are you doing?” Aegon rolls his eyes, “What can't I sit up?” Aemond eyes the girl now sitting beside Aegon and scoffs. “Oh shut up.”

This can't be happening. Your body burns and you feel like your face is on fire. He was staring at you. the aegon targaryen. Lead singer and producer of the dragons. He even checked you out.

You thank your best friend in your head for buying you this dress as you feel Aegon's eyes continue to drift back to you.

Do you look back at him? You play with your fingers and look down at your hands as they call that the show is about to start again and you look back up.

You can't help but take a glance at him and notice he's already looking at you. You quickly look away again. You hear aemond hit his arm to get him to look forward, aegon grumbles as he does but his gaze on you.

You notice you're shaking, it really is so crazy to be sitting next to the band you've been admiring for the past couple years of your life.

Another commercial break starts and you're wondering how long it's been and how much more time you have yet. You're really wishing you had your phone right now. Not only to check the time but because you're sure your best friend is blowing up your phone right now.

You look back at Aegon and notice he's on his phone. What if you asked him… it would be a good excuse to just speak to him at least once plus your friend couldn't yell at you for not doing anything despite sitting next to your all time favorite band.

Aegon had been on his phone, texting the dragons gc.

‘do not do anything stupid.’ - aemond

‘but the girl is so hot ☹️’ - aegon

‘aegon. don't you dare.’ - jace

‘i just want to know her name ☹️☹️’- aegon

‘I know good and well that's not true.’ - helaena

“Excuse me…” The voice next to him rang out. All of them whipped their heads towards her, Aegon being the closest that looked her directly in the eyes. He notices she bites her lip slightly and avoids eye contact, god he didn't know how much more of this he could take. “Can i know what time it is?”

Aegon looked down at his phone before looking back at you, “It's 9:15 gorgeous.” He feels aemond hit his arm but its all worth it to see you flush and turn, “thank you.” its hushed but he can still hear it. “of course gorgeous.”

He notices your shaking and playing with your dress. There were hundreds of stars in the room but you were the only one he could see. “You have a gorgeous name?” “aegon..” aemond harshly hisses at him.

you look at him shocked, your beautiful eyes wide open and your eyelids flutter. You were so pretty. “um…. its y/n.” He smiles, “a beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” You look away bashfully as he grins, “no..” “Really, I'm serious, you're the most gorgeous woman in the room.”

There's an announcement saying the cameras were about to turn back on and he groans. He just wants to keep on talking with you. He sits up and he feels aemond put a hand on his arm, “what do you think you're doing?” aegon shrugs, “what? im just talking to her there's nothing wrong with that?” He looks over at her and winks as aemond slaps his shoulder.

“You will quit it now.” Aegon groans, “You just had the situation with cassandra-” “she was the one bothering me,” Aegon hisses, “i never wanted her.” Aemond sighs, “The media doesn't know that-” “I don't care. they don't believe me anyways.”

Cassandra baratheon, one of the four daughters of a famous director and a top model and she was one of the most annoying people he's ever met.

When they met at some random award show afterparty where she came up to him claiming to be a fan of his group. The two talked, she tried to come home with him, he didn't want that, he told her that, she got pissed because her nepo baby ass never got told no and told the media the two slept together.

For the past week hes been dealing with people up his ass about cassandra but he's denied everything and it fucking sucks.

“Aegon-” “Please dont bring her up again.” The worst part of it all is that shes been showing up to his fucking house begging him to believe her that she would never say something like that to the media and asking if she would let him inside. “Fuck off cassandra.” “baby-” “dont fucking baby me i dont even fucking know you.” “youre an asshole!” “you say this every fucking time but you keep on coming back just leave me the fuck alone!”

Aegon shakes of the memory now frowning, god e could really use a fucking drink. Once again it was a commercial break at 9:22. Aegon Rolled his head back and looked back at you.

You sat with a stunned expression on your face as your eyes layed on him, fuck you must have heard all that. You notice him looking at you and you look away. Ugh now the pretty girl doesn't even wanna fucking look at him this sucks.

“I'm sorry.” a hushed whisper comes from you, one that only he can hear “I had seen it on the news, that must suck for you. I'm sorry, I believe you.” Aegon's eyes widen as looks at you, you haven't lifted your head. Nobody other than his bandmates had told him they believed him.

He smiled, he leaned down near your ear, “thank you sweetheart. You're as sweet as you look.” You turn your head farther away from him, he can practically feel the heat radiating off of your body as he watches your hands shake.

He smiles as you turn back to him, “I'm sorry for butting in-'' he shakes his head, “there's nothing to apologize for angel, it makes me feel nice knowing a pretty girl like you believes me.” He can partially feel aemonds annoyance but he can't be bothered as he takes in your reaction. 9:29 the show turns back and now he has a smile on his face as he faces the stage.

This can't be happening. Your face feels so hot and your body burns, this can't be happening. Is he hitting on you?

You can barely sit still in your seat as the award show continues. Maybe you should be brave, I mean you'll never see the man again in about 15 minutes so it doesn't matter what happens, right?

You readjust yourself and turn your head towards him and see him already looking at you. you lose any sense of confidence you had and look back down at your lap. Nope can't do it.

He smiles, “you wanna say something to me angel?” You shake your head, god this was so embarrassing. You stare up at the stage, the performance on the stage captures your attention that you don't notice the hushed whispers between aemond and aegon. 9:41 your final intermission.

A staff member walks over, “Please gather up your things, I'll be coming back around to collect you in a few minutes.” You nod as they rush away.

Upset that the night is ending you frown, already thinking about what take out you're going to get once you get home. You take a glance at Aegon to see he has a frantic look. Before you can even question it in your head he turns to you, “do you mind giving me your number angel?”

You almost faint, you're shocked you didn't, no way he was being serious. You stare at the phone he's handed in your direction frozen. Now your favorite member of your favorite band is asking you for your number. This must be a dream.

Snapping back you snatch the phone and shakingly put the number in, double no triple checking if it was right before handing it back to him. He smiles with a laugh as the staff member comes back and rushes you out, “I'll see you later angel.” Later?

You are rushed out along with other seat fillers for the night and taken outside to wait for transportation home as well as your bag. Everyone was chatting but you can barely even think right now. Your bag gets handed back to you and you can feel your phone vibrating.

You take it out and see over a hundred texts from your friend and 2 texts from an unknown number. Your hands are shaking, What the hell was happening. Avoiding what was probably his messages to you, you open up your friends messages to you.

A lot of them were just nonsense.

‘MISS YOU’

‘ONG YOU'RE ON CAMERA

*pic

‘&-)/&:)/$/$:’

‘WHY IS HE TALKING TO YOU OOOOOOOOOO’

‘YOU GOTTA TELL ME EVERYTHING’

*pic

The two photos are one of you when your face showed when the camera panned to someone in front of you and the next is a shot of you and Aegon looking at each other. Oh no.

‘NOT YOU LEAVING ME ON READ’

‘ANSWER NOW’

‘TELL ME’

She starts calling you and you move far away from everyone else to answer her.

“hey-”

“OH MY GOD.”

you move the phone away and wince before pulling it back, “you're so loud.”

“Oh shut up, tell me what happened.”

You smile to yourself as you think over the last forty five minutes of your life and tell her everything. “shut up!” “i know!”

“Have you looked at his messages?” You shook your head as if she could see you, “no-” “WHAT. look at them now are you kidding.”

“I'm scared.” “stop being a pussy and look.” you sigh and open the message with shaky fingers. He had sent a couple more since you last checked and by a couple more you mean a lot more.

‘hey its aegon’

‘shit’

‘the guy who was sitting next to you’

‘sorry never told you my name’

‘oh wait you said you knew me’

‘ANYWAY’

‘you know i never got your name angel’

‘or would you rather me keep calling you angel’

‘that was corny im sorry’

‘god’

‘um’

‘i'd love to see you again, the hotel im staying at has a bar if you'd meet me there’

‘no pressure i just cant get you out of my head’

‘sorry i have to go, i hope to see you there :)’

The last message was an address line to a really nice hotel only a block or two away. “Holy shit.”

you can only stare as your friend yells in your ear, “what?!? what happened??” You take a screenshot and send it to her. “No fucking way you have to go.”

You are looking at the hotel's website, “I don't know… what if he's like a secret psycho murder or a human trafficker.” Like sure you did admit him and obsess over him a little but that didn't mean you trusted him. He's a celebrity for crying out loud he could be the worst man on earth.

“I have your location. If you dont text me or anything, I'll call the police .” You genuinely consider your opinions right now. You could go home, get take out and sit and talk with your friend all night about nonsense when all you could think about is the what ifs or you could go and see what could happen.

“Oh fuck it ill go.” “YES.” There's no point in getting an uber so you begin the walk to the hotel.

You stay on the phone with her as you make your way there, still looking at the hotel's website. The place was super fancy, makes sense for a celebrity, people were giving you odd looks since you're just casually walking around in a fancy dress but you can't even be bothered.

“Did you shave?” “Fuck off nothings happening.” “surrre i believe you.”

You finally arrive at the place and stare at the big door, oh fuck it its not like anything is gonna happen right.

[capcavan]

I want to know about all the rps except mukade becuz I'm frightened of bugs so I'm scared what might be revealed to me 😭😭

honestly yeah you DO NOT want to know that one lemme pick few 4 you Two Raven Kings one of my personal favourites actually it's aftg/TRC crossover instead of shooting riko ichirou sends him to study in hendrietta, away from exy and everything that was making riko's world *his*- as we find out later this is the school he himself attended riko is looked after by assistant named Taki (my li love note to ao3 fanfic Brothers 🥺), meets kavinsky and blueballs him because the man looks too much like kevin and Riko decide he will avoid all kevin looking ginger looking and blond looking men which leads him to meet Declan Lynch (and will carry bad consequences) - riko kind of replaced blue the boys still go to the house for some tarot readings - riko tries to get private reading to talk to his dead mother but when he reveals that his question is "did she loved me " the women shot him down and tell him to just go home. - riko shows those lacrosse bitches how it's done sorry cant say more just know that declan spend at least 1 week thinking he hooked up with guy who killed someone in prizon because Declan thought the 1 under his eyes was like tear tattoo Two of Them Riko has twin brother who spend his life living in one room of moriyama mansion kept there specifically as organ donor for ichirou and kengo , after ichirou causes kengo's death to help his brother , the Riko2 who is also called Riko because this family doe snot care to let people be people tells him to fuck off and goes to meet Riko1 feeling entitled to his attention and relationship as his twin, he end sup meeting foxes who inform him that riko1 (already part of fox lineup in this au) is currently on suicide watch in psyh ward and spend few days with this absolute oddity (kevin and riko2 nearly get into a fight 3 times over the title of riko's brother) The biggest fan Riko and Kevin get kidnapped right before the final game in TKM and driven fuck knows where where they get locked in basement of some ultra rich man who wants to keep them as collectors merchandise, they have underground apartment all for themselves with room service and all their needs meet. Riko realises in that moment that this is how heaven feels like , nobody beats him here there is no pressure here , it's his ticket to chocolate factory - kevin is with him too and he can not leave him ever again. Kevin though been out of nest for 2 years now he wants to see his father and his friends again and if he wont convince riko to get out of this mess he will ave to work against not only the kidnapper but his brother too.

[urfavoritedcwhore]

the Russian boy//part three

warnings: swearing, alcohol use

not proof read!

lowercase intended

part one and two on my page.

part three: the pool

i let go of boris's hand and watch as he jumps in the deepest end of the pool. i make my way over to the steps leading into the pool, and go down them, making sure to stay in the shallow end. i definitely do not want to drown with two boys i only met today. and wow this water is cold as fuck. my nips are positivity hard as diamonds right now. boris swims over to me and picks me up, "let's go i told you i wouldn't let you drown.", he says carrying my to the deep end, which isn't deep for boris at all considering how tall he is. i hold on to his shoulders as he holds on right below my ass to keep me balanced on him. "no funny business, those hands better not move up.", i say giving him a half joking, half serious smile. "i wouldn't dream of it new girl", he looks at me with a grin and pulls me closer, "i'm a gentleman, remember?", he whispers in my ear. THIS FUCKING KID. woah, calm down lucy, calm down. ok he knows exactly what he's doing, so it's time for me to play his game back. "oh i can promise you, you'll definitely be dreaming of it.", i whisper in his ear, leaving his red as a tomato and at a loss for words. i guess he's not used to girls matching his energy. lucky for him, he's met his match, and he has her in his arms right now. theo, who's floating on his back with his eyes closed, begins talking to boris. "can i stay here tonight?", he slurs, "im too drunk to walk home.". boris looks and him and lets out a chuckle, " you always stay here, why you ask all the sudden?", boris asks. it's very apparent to me that theo is just as drunk as i am, which is why im not surprised he says what he says next. "i dont know, maybe you wanna be aloneeee with lucy.", he says, still floating on his back and now making kissy noises.

"shut it potter.", boris says seriously, "both of you can stay if you want, i dont mind.", boris says looking at me. i mean my mom wont be home..i guess it wouldn't hurt staying. but seriously, i just met these fuckers today, maybe i'll tease boris a little but im no slut. i'm not gonna let anything happen yet. also, it's a good thing theo notices this sexual tension too right? i mean at least im not imagining things. "i can stay," i look at boris, "there's not gonna be any," i let out exaggerated kissy noises, "tonight. im just staying cause im having fun and going home this drunk seems not very fun.", i say half truthfully. i mean maybe if i stay i can keep actually talking and bonding with boris. i want to get to know him, i don't want to rush anything. "sure new girl.", boris says nodding. theo pops up and swims towards us, "can you seriously not swim?", he says nodding towards me. i look back at him, "not at all. honestly this is scaring the shit outta me, but i'm too drunk to care.", i say which makes both boys laugh. that's the genuine truth, swimming would usually be a no go, but for some strange reason i trust these boys to not let anything happen to me. it's weird how you can meet people you instantly trust and click with. i truly hope they feel the same way about me.

my thoughts are interrupted by a small bark and scratch on the patio door. i look over to see popchyk scratching the door from inside. "fuck. we can't leave him like this, he's sad. he wants his ..how do you say? ah daddy, yes he wants his daddy. i'm coming popchyk!", boris says pointing to the dog. this fucking man did not just call himself daddy. holding back tonight is gonna be harder then expected, especially considering that fact i haven't gotten any action in months. boris carries me back to the shallow end and puts me down as he runs inside, soaking wet, and picks up popchyk. i look at theo, "are you as fucked up as i am right now?" i say probably slurring. he grabs me by my shoulders, "my friend, i'm so drunk i can barely see.", he says slurring. we both burst out in laughter and sway around holding on to eachother trying not to fall. we eventually get our footing and catch our breath..until we look at eachother again, which results in another round of hysterical laughter. this kid is so fucking funny. there's just something about him that i absolutely love. "you know lucy,", he says as we catch our breath once again, "you are like my number two best friend, you just like are cool you know?", he says pointing at me with wide eyes and slurring every word. ok this kid is plastered and i'm loving drunk theo. "RIGHT? we're like platonic soulmates theooo, we just like,", i motion to my head with my finger then to his head, "we just get eachother my dude.", i say wrapping my arm around his shoulder. ah yes, there's no friendship realer than confessing your drunken platonic love for someone you met less than 24 hours ago. we laugh again then stumble out of the pool and make our way inside. i walk into the kitchen and get myself a glass of tap water, which i immediately chug. fuck i didn't realize how thirsty i was. i go into the living room to see theo laying on the floor (absolutely and positively passed out on top of my clothes), and boris on the couch, now in boxers and a tshirt 2 sizes too big, holding popchyk and watching some movies that i think is in russian. "ah fuck he got my clothes wet.", i say nudging theo lightly with my foot. "he won't wake up, once potters sleeps, he won't wake till it is morning.", boris says with an amused expression on his face. "well shit, i'll probably just go stay at my house since i'll have to go over there to get dry clothes anyway.", i say walking to the door. boris gets up and walks in front of me, "new girl,", he looks me up and down, " you're in your bra and underwear. don't walk to your house right now, your drunk and will get cold.", he says looking at me like i'm crazy. what's the big deal? i mean i'll admit, i did forget i'm literally in my undergarments, but my house is a 10 second walk, and i was just outside and not cold at all until i hopped in the pool. it’s not like the air is cold, we’re in las Vegas for fucks sake. "i'm fine boris, i'll be okay.", i say smiling a drunken smile, but he doesn't move. "ha! is okay, i will just give you my clothes to sleep in, eh? i have extra things, come.", he says taking my hand and leading me upstairs. since he's already taking me to get clothes i don't bother arguing, i gotta say though, i'm a little excited to wear his clothes. I KNOW I KNOW ITS WEIRD OK? but come onnnnn, who wouldn't wanna wear a sexy man's clothes. you would do it too, don't lie. we walk into his room and he pulls out a huge sweater and a pair of boxers from his dresser. "here, my favorite sweater, is very comfortable. i sleep in all the time.", he says handing them  over to me. "thank you.", i say taking the clothes. "is no problem, i don't want you to go home, am having fun with you new girl.", he says with a slight smile. "i go downstairs, come down and watch movie with me when your dressed, yes?", he says going out the bedroom door and closing it behind him. i throw on the sweater and squeeze into the small boxers. the sweater is big and comfy, but the boxers are nowhere near my size. they're definitely tight, but not too uncomfortable.

i hang up my wet bra and underwear on the shower rod of the bathroom in his room and head down stairs. when i'm back in the living room boris pats the side of the small sofa that's open. i walk over, and plop on the couch. boris changed the channel while i was gone o suppose, cause now instead of the russian movie that was on earlier, there's a shitty cable cowboy movie on. no complaints though, i love shitty cable movies. i begin to watch, and boris tosses his blanket over, so it can drape around both of us. i look over to theo, who's still sound asleep on the floor, now with a fresh towel over him, which i assume boris put there as a substitute for a blanket. i guess me and boris are sleeping on the couch and sharing a blanket. nothing special i suppose, but still, it makes me happy to think about sleeping so close to him. this night is going great, but it also feels like it's just started.

authors note: sorry for a semi short chapter, wrote this in like 30 minutes and it's currently 2am. chapter four out soon!

[luvistqrzzz]

THE ACCIDENTAL POLAROID- 20::: Love, Y/N ( written::: 0.47K )

( warnings::: none )

This was a bad idea. This was the worst out of the bad ideas you've ever had but there you were again finding your way to Heeseung's locker, an envelope clutched in your hand.

You didn't know what putting "things right" meant but all you wanted was to apologize to him and after what he had said, talking to him face-to-face might just make matters worse (also sending letters was romantic and you were a coward). Needless to say, you had cursed yourself a countless times for your actions that day.

When you reached the locker, you quickly looked around your surroundings to check for any signs of him before slipping it past the slot and, quite literally, sprinting away in the opposite direction to hide behind a pillar.

After a while of waiting, you saw Heeseung approach from the distance. Your stomach did a sudden flip at his sight.

Now, the said boy was living in much the same dilemma, of how to walk up to you and kiss you talk to you. At least his friends had been successful on putting some sense into him.

Heeseung opened the locker only to find a big creme coloured envelope inside. He furrowed his eyebrows before opening it.

Inside it was a polaroid, tucked safely along with a letter. He took in a sharp breath. The polaroid of yours he took months ago. Your face bent down, a small pretty smile grazing your face.

Dear Heeseung or should i say 'mr.H'?,

So i kinda figured out you'll be the only who sent me this polaroid, im not wrong right? Cuz you have terrible photography skills! Im kinda sad that it's already fading :( i cant believe that it was one damned polaroid that lead me to you. But i wouldn't have it any other way

Moving on, lemme get straight to the point. Im sorry for what i did and im also sorry for being a coward and not being able to tell you this personally (also i figured you wouldn't wanna talk to me). Nothing can compare to what i did that day... and s*ngh**n told me that b4 i kissed him, i said that i missed you. Yes, you, Lee Heeseung. And ik our relation wont prolly get back to normal but i hope you accept my apology... its okay if you don't forgive me, now or ever.

But in the end, i like you heeseung. A lot. And i wish we could take more polaroids like this one, i wish we could document our lives in polaroids and when we get old we'll see those fading pieces of paper and laugh at ourselves.

- Love, Y/N.

From your crouched position behind the pillar you saw as Heeseung folded the paper and stalked the other way. It meant nothing, he was just walking away but why did you then feel your heart sink?

Prev | Masterlist | Next

SUMMARY- Lee Heeseung doesn't believe in love at first sight but what happens when he accidentally clicks a polaroid of a girl at the local diner? A girl he can't seem to get out of his mind.

Will he be able to return you the polaroid or will love follow him along the way?

GENRE- smau with written parts, college!au, strangers to lovers, fluff, crack, angst (veryyy slight), slight love triangle

TAGLIST- open! send an ask or comment to be added- @yenqa @xuimhao @ddazed-lhs @astrae4 @ghostiiess @seungminstaehyun @haechansbbg @chaechae-23 @ak-aaa-li @whippedforbeomgyu @ahnneyong @ineedaherosavemeenow @jhopesucker @j-wyoung @tnyhees @liliansun @rikizm @jadeluvsenha

( bold = cannot tag )

AN- enjoy the cliffhanger my loves 😘... also if yall want pls vote whether yall will prefer love theory ( summary ) to be a smau here! 🙏🏼

[barzfrommarz]

Why do I still love c!wilbur so much?

small essay type post to just gush about c!wilbur

One thing that always surprises me is why I stayed with c!wilbur

Before cc!wilbur even confirmed the allegations, I dropped him and lovejoy because it was becoming way too stressful and way more obvious it was him even though he had became a special interest and a huge part of my life

So why didnt I do the same with c!wilbur?

Better question, why couldn’t I?

Maybe it’s because back in March of 2022, my online friends had just stopped being friends with me a week prior. Specifically on March 17th 2022 (correct me if i’m wrong) the first stream that kick started the apology streams happened. I think that’s was what reignited my interest fully, since I had changed myself so much for my ex friends since they hated dsmp so much and it was basically my entire personality

It was also an outlet to interact with people, since these specific friends were my only friends at the time.

It was so nice to have a community of people who love the same thing I love. Making art, fanfiction, theories even songs. It was great and it was definitely one of the best times of my life (in the recent years)

The days leading up to the final were the greatest but also the most nerve wracking, esp since I wanted c!wilbur to have a good ending and basically not die

Waiting for the stream to start on Sept 3rd 2022 was so exciting, I remember sitting in offline chat just waiting for a fucking minecraft stream to start. Something I had never done

Now im not gna critique the ending in this post. I have my gripes with the apology tour in general but thats not what this post is about.

It was surprising to watch. Not what I had expected but it had its charm and I grew on it eventually. Going on twitter afterwards kinda sucked but it stopped eventually

The community was still going strong. Even if our favorite character is completely retired. The love and passion was still there, especially for me. It seemed like my love for c!wilbur just got more intense

After the dsmp ended and 2023 rolled around, thats when I noticed things kinda slowing down a bit. I know why of course. Loveshit was kicking off for William so its obvious why more people gradually moved on from the dsmp and fan content slowed down. Including me!

I wont go more into it but it was disappointing for me as someone who just couldn't move on from c!wilbur and the dsmp to see everyone on all the main platforms I used move on. Yeah tumblr was still active but I didn't use it as much back then

Then of course, the allegations came out

Im not proud of how I acted during the first night. You could say I was very very delusional and willing to make up excuses and drown out a victim all for some white guy I didn't know.

Thankfully, the next morning I came to my senses a bit and left, soon after joining everyone in just waiting for him to respond. Luckily I had some great mutuals on twitter and we were all there for eachother, even though I was the least affected since I was more mad at the fact I wasted years of my life on him than upset.

You all know how the story ends, he responded and everyone hated on him blah blah blah

but throughout all of that, I still stayed with c!wilbur. Not any other bursona. I cant engage with any of the other bursonas because they remind me too much of william, so why is c!wilbur different?

Well one obvious factor is my autism. C!Wilbur and the Dsmp is one of my biggest and longest lasting special interest so I dont think its going away for atleast 2-4 more years atp. Who knows maybe ill be 24 years old still yapping about a minecraft server that I liked when I was 11

I also think its because of the dsmp community on tumblr. Yeah the c!wilbur part has gotten understandably smarter but the people who have stayed are awesome and cool and so creative but most importantly strong

We have all been through it. From the allegations to the shit we get from outsiders for showing slight interest in c!wilbur and the dsmp in general.

I also see it as one massive fuck you to William. Taking his creation for ourselves then actively hating on him in the process. Shipping the ship he has gone on record to say its not canon is also pretty cool

So I guess I just want to say thank you. I could not have kept my interest alive if it wasn't for you guys continuing to create despite the creator being a degenerate. This stupid little character has single handedly kept my passion for creation and art going so strong. If you look through any of my recent sketchbooks most of the pages have him on it. I got into wrighting and reading fanfiction because of c!wilbur (and c!tntduo but we dont talk about the fanfictions ive read). My point is this character means alot to me so to all the remaining c!wilbur fans...

Thank you, truly

[kirk]

hiiii i’d love to hear your thoughts on the hiatus revisionist history if you feel comfortable sharing :^)

ouhhh yeah ofc ill try not make this too long cause its not like groundbreaking nor like complicated yk i honestly just think both when they say they were still friends AND never spoke are both true statements like... 3-ish years IS a long time, especially for two guys who spent. nearly 10 years together almost Constantly yknow? so...

a lot can change and shift in those 3 years. if we look at like... the lead up to the hiatus you can definitely see patrick be a lot more distant with pete (except for a few examples that are like... oh ok you weirdos made up for a week huh) and its obviously from all the tension and just, natural drifting cause of that tension and then the start of the hiatus i really think they did not speak much at all, both because of the grieving of the "loss" of the band and the anger that grieving would fuel, etc. like even if they always thought it was always an hiatus, theyre dramatic, if they dont do it anymore for any length of time its like the end of the fucking world <3 so start of hiatus i feel like, they did not speak and that was when patrick would like... not return calls to pete, or talk to him much, he probably was fully in like... trying to gather together stuff to make his solo projects and we all know patricks just MIA when hes in creating mode, and he was 100% using that to deal with the "loss" of fob, we then get to pete's divorce and i feel like around this time they wouldve reconnected a bit again but maybe after a bit of back and forth (eg the "what do u want" text bit), a good example of them reconnecting in some form would be pete suddenly bringing out his stump club shirt in 2011 like a month after his divorce

i feel like because of his divorce and ofc patrick being around for all of his relationship with ashlee, they would have reconnected in a time that pete wouldve needed comfort and familiarity and it had been over a year since the hiatus started so the initial grief and anger wouldve 100% died down and i feel like this is when pete would have said like. you dont even know my son, etc, like patrck was also at petes place for a good chunk of time in april 2011 which is only shortly after pete brings out that shirt, however, some shit happened after this that we literally have no clue What and they kinda fall out again, maybe not fully like what happened at the start of the hiatus but definitely a falling out again (eg patrick saying in zane lowe "i thought we were [fine] but then you--") and fast forward then to all THAT stuff with SP being redone and redone way more angrily and then we get to death of a pariah and it kinda really makes them reconnect but like... less to do with familiarity (repeating the cycle of how they got into a tension-filled mess that resulted in the hiatus in the first place) and more to do with, lets rebuild, lets do this different, lets go back to our roots and do it to create again, lets go back and relearn what made us best friends in the first place and we can really... really see that, i wont show it but the leaked picture of pete and patrick at patricks wedding in 2012 really shows the like, rebuilt relationship i think, the youthful joy again that just wasnt there on the lead up to the hiatus nor in patricks depression-filled frenzy with SP and then. well. it kinda just never broke after that, amen. so basically. yeah they both WERE still friends/considered the other their friend but also they probably didnt like each other much/didnt want to see the other for at least TWO chunks of time during the hiatus until the Actual Healthy Reconnection circa early 2012-ish where they dont just reconnect in a way they were used to but instead in a way that was to rebuild from the ground up. this part is a little speculation cause im not pete nor patrick but i feel like because patrick normally isnt that explosive and open about his mental health, pariah just kinda forced the both of them to REALLY talk, because, patrick had put it all out there, there was no taking it back, pete now knew how patrick felt and well. as patricks biggest hypeman he couldnt let that go and it just forced patrick to just fucking talk about how he felt for once, which allowed pete to recontextualise shit and also heal from shit which in turn let him help patrick heal a bit, esp with those early songwriting hang outs p2 had, which then in turn made patrick more open to asking how joe felt which allowed joe to feel happy to come back to fob which in turn rebuilt fall out boy. etc. yeah. anyway hi. i love to ramble

[missmayhemvr]

How Europe underdeveloped Africa and its legacy

first and formost before i break this down, this is not a post for white people to express their guilt, or savoir complex or love of historical revisionism. you'll not just be blocked, you'll go on a block list on this post, don't do it to yourself, i wont even have to be the one to do it. secondly this is a covering of the broad themes, lessons, and understanding within the book and what we should learn from it. third, i will often talk from my own perspective from which i will round to a larger context.

part 1- history and anthropology

As someone who has grown up black in the us, i grew up with a particular understanding or idea of Africa, the slave trade and the way America and Europe came about. you hear about tribal or ethnic disputes in the context of modern Africa and hear quite a lot of blatantly racist things about Africans. which caused me to get very into history, to which you learn when it comes to Africa there's not a lot of great places to start. this is something quite similar to the various indigenous peoples of the Americas as well. this has always been presented to me as a fault of Africans for not having history and is a long standing idea of white intellectuals from the 1800s to the Joe every man of today. the truth is Africa has history, there's no land, that has no history and Europe just devalues histories not associated with itself. there's a absolute glut of kingdoms, empires, languages, historical traditions, governing styles, cultural roles, trade networks etc etc. the fact of the matter is, that there's just very little Europeans want to learn about Africa that isn't to colonial ends, even today.

This is something Walter covers in great detail, to such a point that even as someone that has been purposely elbows deep into listening to everything i can find on African history i still had to go look up various pre-colonial kingdoms and figures. there is not a region of Africa that he doesn't take time to address in at least some detail, from Oyo and Ashanti on the west African coast, to the north of the Maghreb with Morocco and Algeria, east to the great lakes region, the horn of africa and south to the Zulus, koi koi, and Nguni peoples and kingdoms. The extensiveness to which he covers material forms of production, trade, and methods of historical preservation of culture, the types and breath of items, created and traded all through like cloth, glass, iron working, artistic ventures like bronze sculptures of benin and food production and cultization and the formations of various styles of rule, early democracy, and other such information put to bed nearly all of the non-nonsensical ideas that africa was a grand continent without progress, innovation, or skills and everything great, large, or more complex than rubbing to sticks together came from europe or arabs.

The book delves quite deep into the mythology of intense african slavery and violence which would be later used by europeans to justify colonization of africa to each other, said colonization, i will swing around back to much as the book does.

The middle passage, the triangle trade, the atlantic slave trade, these are all names for the event that was one of the chief reason to the economic and scientific take off of europe that would lead to industrialism, with the other being the colonization of the americans. stolen land and labor pushed the european world from not much a concern to anyone but those who had to deal with the crusades to the paramount power that controlled nearly all the sea trade, and held large swaths of territories of the world. we all know most of that, but walter ask the question on the other side of that coin. what did the slave trade do to africa? and why did they participate? the short answer is it changed the entire way african economies functioned and lessened the possibility of growth not just of kingdoms over territories, but of production and developement of sectors such as iron working, glass making, and agriculture. and in a very literal sense was one of the earliest forms of the phenomenon known today as brain drain and depopulation. we quite literally will never know the amount of people stolen or killed for slavery, we only know that as the rest of the world experienced high population growth africa and the americas started to experience intense depopulation. these phenomena weren't incidental they were known, and admitted as purposeful by figures qouted in the book. The african leaders at the time how ever were stuck between a rock and a hard place, many noted not just the importance of guns, but also recognized the importance of population growth at the onset. the game however being rigged from the start would have taken a miracle to over come. japan was the one country to escape colonialism in most meaningful senses, and that was because the dutch taught them how to produce guns and would trade with them "almost" as equals. these are also things addressed by rodney, the sale of arms was often highly lopsided, with Portugal and dutch traders only being willing to trade badly produced or broken guns, low quality powder and shot for slaves. this would not change until europeans would learn of other african products that they could make us of in their markets as raw materials such as ivory or kola nuts, this change would not happen for quite a while and mainly after the Europeans had already built their industrial bases and had taken total control of trade routes and begun to flood African markets with "cheap" products. the combinations of factors both purposeful and accidental shifted the African economies into a near total reliance on Europe economically and militarily but not yet politically. these are all expertly researched and explained to a point it is nearly impossible to refute any points. This points are all also something i can confirm from nearly every single source that ive looked into on African history.

part 2 -colonial "development"

This is a portion of history ill admit to doing my best to stay away from, generally much of my knowledge on it till this book has been on what happened with various kingdoms that fell in the late 1800s and early 1900s or by the various oral and 3rd hand accounts of what peoples familes, parents and even political elites went through. ill be frank, i did not go into the depth of the horrors of what happened with slavery, slave raiding, and its secondary effects, for this section and the next ill have to go through quite a lot. ill try to tone it down as best as i can, but on some of it even the implied parts are going to be horrid. I believe it is however important to face those head on, to truly understand the so called "white mans burden" or the reality of what that meant was.

colonialism meant making the final step, taking africa politically and physically. europe made the leap whole heartly to take all of africa, land, people, and any potential valuables, resources and to exploit everything they could get their hands on to the fullest extent possible. i do not use anything in the prior sentence lightly. Europeans like to play word games and often, the idea that they ended slavery in any meaningful sense is false, and ill come back to that in the final section. during the period of colonial control europeans destroyed just about anything of the prior rulers they could, and stole anything they could. theres a likelihood in my mind that theres many and african sculpture, painting, and cloth or glass work that sits in the home of a collector that got rich off the stolen plunder of africa. these includes many villages, cities, and palaces and shires and places of worship and places of craft. whole cities were destroyed such as kumasi, taking with it histories, architectural stylings and methods of production.

during this period was the final shift from internal political and economic growth to purely serving the empires to which ones lands belonged. no longer would rulers push for education reforms or challenges on religious bodies to strengthen any part of the nation, it was a total transformation into a form of state slavery. this is as metaphorical as literal, europeans would begin to change agriculture to be primarily centered around cash crops and mining labor to which labor was forced. people were made to pay taxes in the modern sense through the wages made through said labor. these taxes were in turn used primarily to fund the upkeep of oppressive forces and funding the check books of colonial governors, an insanely tiny portion of these funds were used for anything besides extracting wealth and resources.

the various governments put little to no money, research, or development into anything but cash crops and pulling things out the ground. the only times they put money into schools, training or even medical resources for people in African, it was for better wealth extraction and always the bare minimum. i believe (don't have the book in front of me rn) west Africa (from west of chad and south of Algeria) only had one university until the late 50s. the industrial sector of Africa was near completely killed, Africans in settler areas were not allowed to own even small scale industrial machinery such as cotton gins or fruit oil extraction machines, in non-settler state areas generally only peoples brought into Africa for the purpose of being a separated class of petite boug representatives for the colonizers were allowed to own industrial machinery. electricity was mostly for those same classes of individuals, hospital access, education access, pretty much anything you need for a community to survive esp in the modern era was highly restricted from Africans. To say that Europe "developed" Africa in any sense is beyond a bold faced lie, and it was something ,Rodney points out, that Europeans were quite proud of until they started to face push back for the level of humanity and exploitation they were facing. Once they started to get pushed out they changed their tune to the lie of African development and modernization. just like the lie of ending slavery for moral reasons and invading Africa to end slavery. Speaking of ending slavery in Africa, Rodney points to several figures who openly gloated about how they ran their colonial post or corporate holdings as slave plantations. king Leopold is one of the more famous examples of it, but far from the only one, many took delight in their cruelty. famine became endemic in regions that were the origins of many foods and cultivates crops, as all the agricultural process that could be shifted to cash crops were. Roads and trains ran from the mines and plantations to the seas and very little else. Various things needed to export raw materials were built with slave labor, like a airport in Kenya built by hand, no machinery via forced labor of Kikuyu peoples

Europe's only goal in Africa was land and profits, the same as in the Americas. genocide, slavery, starvation campaigns were common tools of colonizers in Africa all the way up to today, which i will re-address in part 4.

part 3 - education, traditional and political

Education is a very clear and important part of modern life, but also for building a nation, and self dependence, so it is of no wonder than colonizers thought that it should be restricted in Africa in regards to Africans. The various quotes and framing that Europeans used to dismiss the idea that Africans should have access to any form of formal education sounds exactly like quotes pulled from the most vicious of slavers of the prior centuries in the US and Haiti. One of the most prominent ideas that was education would "spoil" Africans, was a sentiment was also expressed by slavers. this section of the book is very much facts and figures on just how little access to education there was, how little funding went into it vs the amount of profits coming out of the various regions as well as how this was over come. two of the prime ways that was done according to the book and much of what Ive heard prior, was through the use of missionary schools or independent schools. These schools were primarily funded not by the colonial governments but by the peoples seeking education, their families, and so on, with the expectation that those educated would teach the rest of the family. education how ever was shown to not really pull people out of poverty nor to really give African peoples the possibility of positions of power or influence. this was such a near universally a rule, Amilcar Cabral, revolutionary leader and agricultural engineer even spoke to his personal experiences with being educated far beyond the man in charge of him yet having zero say in his job, his boss was renownly a dumb man. This was not an uncommon thing. Rodney goes well into it, and this just exemplifies how Europeans only saw Africans as a source of cheap and "unskilled labor". Access to education even if funded by the peoples seeking education themselves was clamped down on sharply once revolution was on the wind. Those who know the patterns of history though would have known that the clamping down made that worse, it simply accelerated the wants for education, as well as for independence.

part 4 - modern Africa and modern euro/america

When the cards started to fold on empire they took many different routes to lessen the fall for power, France tried blowing thing up and killing cattle and destroying things needed for civil life, a all call for genocide against Algerians. Britian, Portugal, most of them tried the same things, but they were pushed out in some ways, and when that became obvious they turned to the small group of political insiders they rapidly trained to take over in their stead. for those that weren't under the control of the colonizers they turned to the coup and military dictatorship. very few of the revolutionary leaders of africa were able to stay in power, many turned toward methods some would call authoritarian. without the context of what was going on and how unstable the situation was for these leaders and just how quickly and violently these revolutions could be overturned, it would be easy to take these figures as just becoming despots without reason, some of them really did become despots who just started functioning as neocolonial cops. This brings us to the modern era, and the current method of colonialism not just in africa but much of the world, Neocolonialism, or as i like to call it "home rule".

European nations were not ready to give up control, but they decided they would be willing to give up the appearance of direct rule. economic decisions, the political direction of countries, borders, very little of the modern africans situation was not directly decided on by europeans or americans. financial institutions such as the world bank and IMF lend these governments that had to try and start building actual nations with functioning economies loans with interest rates they would not be able to pay back in time, with conditions that made it even hard to meet the internal goals or pay back the loans and additional conditions of economic control by the IMF for failure to pay these loans. colonial governments such as France forced nations like Mali to pay taxes till recently, and nearly all the colonial powers set the trade rules between them and their "former" colonies in Africa. very few leaders were able to chart much of a path for progress or development that met the needs of the people before these various things snatched much of the independence back away from the people, pushing Africa away from shifting toward an agricultural sector that feed the people and an industrial sector capable of growing the economies or a scientific sector able to make adjustments or provide notable push in any direction. Fifa has more say in policy when they decide to host in a country than the people or even large segments of the governments of Africa. Nkrumah and Rodney both in their respective titles showcase this well, however neither would live to see much past the end of overt colonial rule.

Today there is a larger push against neocolonial rule and economic control than prior, organizations such as BRICS, china's one belt one road policy, and smaller grass roots works and various coups have shifted us to a different situation in Africa than what it has been in for the last 80+ years. However this is not a wholly different situation to that my grandmother would have heard of. much of the continent is still very much under euroamerican influence, the us of slave labor or near slave labor conditions is still a significant factor in the economic relationship between Africa and its former colonizers, which is seen very strongly in the Congo and in coco production. Africa is still yet to industrialize in a manner that matches its needs and this is generally at the behest of its colonizers, and in the majority of the continent the colonial capitalist ventures still own land and resources they stole and murdered their way into, settler property relations have also been solidified in places like south Africa. i would believe that Rodney would say that say that Africa still has a long way to go if he was still around.

The themes of the book were quite complex, and it was refreshing in many ways to be presented with such a sober look into Africa. Read the book, understand what its saying and try to use a similar level of consciousness, nuance, and thought in your day to day analysis of the world around you, and we may have a chance at fixing this ship.

To depart from the contents of the book, i would like to address the white man in the room. Europe, its role in history and its modern role in history, like I've said at the top, not time or place for white people tears. I'm going to be brutally honest, and I'm going to combine the thoughts and finding of not just Nkrumah and Rodney, but also figures like Fanon, Malcom X, Kwame Ture,Rev Martin Luther king Jr and many others of the course of Africana histories and philosophies.

Europe, more particularly Western Europe, has spent the last few hundred years visiting horror on horror on the world, when it comes to the modern era, they simply have not stopped. the damage Europe as a bloc has done, much like the amount of people who were enslaved or killed for the slave trade, will never be full accounted for and that tab just keeps growing. There is no sign of it slowing or stopping. Empires don't like to stop existing, this is something those interested in history know very well. The problem is that Europe cannot be honest nor up front about this, be it the League of nations or the EU and America, or even in the face of the UN, Europe and its Settler states it spawned is just as addicted to domination and profit seeking at all cost as it was 100 years ago which was no different when the slave trade began. Europeans/ White people as a whole as still strongly in the belief that they have a moral high ground to speak to the rest of the world when the truth of the matter is for nearly 500 years, white peoples flying European flags have been histories biggest villains. even in the 21st century, Europe's role on the world stage has been that of a vampire. sucking the life from others to sustain itself. it is still violently racist and xenophobic, which is ironic for peoples who have literally invaded the vast majority of the world, nor is it any more moral or upright today than on the eve of colonialism in the Americas or Africa or any other portion of the world. the EU can barely come together today to denounce blatant acts of genocide and white people are finger waging about anti-LGBT laws in places they couldn't point to on a map (im not happy about anti-lgbt shit, im trans bi and poly this shit actually tears me up). Europeans and their settler offshoots boast about the safety of their cities while actively being the cause of the violence elsewhere. This is all to say Europes fucking evil ya'll, which we should all know at this point, but to further it, they aren't really going to stop as that's what its designed to be. these nations aren't going to suddenly produce radical leaders who are going grow morals or empathy and compassion and move us closer to a just world and fight climate change and help develop the global south or anything like that unless some extreme changes happen, not just among the ruling classes, but the everyday person because like i noted, its policies are racist and colonial and imperialistic, but that really only last not just because people aren't willing to guillotine people over it, but because a substantial enough portion of the populace that they care about are happy to be that way or are passive about the suffering of black or brown people or poor people. they will accept the idea the x group of brown people are homophobic or terrorist( never questioning what terrorist even means) and accept that they should constantly be bombed or killed or have their land and resources stolen, which if people cant see the parallels to the largest slaving nations going and invading under the guises of ending slavery and the nations the mainstreamed homophobia across the world and did acts of political terror across the globe going and claiming those are valid reasons to do what they do idk how to help you. your average white American or European is truly no more curious or wanting to actually learn and have dialog about African cultures than isrealis are about Arab culture, nor are they any less willing to throw white supremacist ideas about these peoples onto them. Those last things are not problems i really know how to solve because we are constantly shown even in internet spaces the white supremacist notions of the "other" will animate people into heinous actions, harassment, doxing campaigns, etc without POC even having to say a word against people. Unless White people yes in the monolithic have a substantial cultural and economic shift, you'll keep producing hitlers and leopolds, guilt will not push you, your nations, or your friends and families into a more positive role.

if it could, slavery would have done it, colonialism would have done it, the holocaust etc. you guys have to change, you must . Peace.

[rock-swag-tournament]

i just found this blog but sadly its now the quarterfinals. hyped af for this!!

(im also a rising geo major (freshmen) and was wondering if you had any words of wisdom?)

It is the quarterfinals, but I do still plan to have a rock tournament (no minerals) and another funny rock/mineral/etc tournament which you can submit things to here!

As for words of wisdom...I've had this sitting in my inbox for a couple days and the best I can do is someone else's words. One of my favorite professors has a saying. And this man, I think, is legally considered a dinosaur. That is to say, he got his degree before plate tectonics became the widely accepted theory. Anyway, he would constantly tell us "You're only as good a geologist as the amount of geology you've seen."

Rocks are WEIRD. But the more weird shit you've seen, the better you are at identifying (or at least coming up with a hypothesis about) weird shit in the future.

And I used to be like "I can never be a good geologist because I have not seen that much geology. I can't afford to travel the world, or even the country, to see more geology!"

The good news is, you don't have to travel the world to see more geology. Chances are, there are some weird and cool rocks where you are. Or at least pretty close by. Museums, parks, outcrops on the side of the road, stream beds, field trips, university hand samples, etc are all ways to see more geology.

This professor had a couple other mantras and things, some of which were his and some he borrowed. "All models are wrong but some are useful" (George Box) and "No rock is accidental" (which may be original) but I wont get into those unless anyone is dying to hear more geology philosophy.

My own advice would be 1) Have fun. It's so dumb and cliché, but it's true. In particular, field trips were some of the most fun I've ever had. Even when I was wet and/or cold and/or miserable and/or exhausted (and/or a bit hungover), they're a good time. You get to see real rocks (that sometimes aren't accessible to the general public)! Stand on the edge of highways (and sometimes people stop and ask what you're doing)! Go inside caves or ford streams to see rocks if you're extra lucky!

Also, I haven't met a geology major who stayed with the major who didn't like it. I mean there were times that I was in the basement of the geology building at midnight like, "I have to memorize the names of 155+ rocks for a test tomorrow and I am going to fail why did I ever do this?" but I passed those tests, and there was always at least one other girl in my class who would show up and put on Studio Ghibli lo-fi and we'd study together.

It isn't all fun field/lab work and licking rocks. There is a lot more math and chemistry and physics (and even biology) than most people might anticipate. But it's all more than manageable. And it's COOL to see those fields interacting. So if you hate every second of it, something ain't right!

Which leads me to 2) It's okay if the plans change. When I showed up to campus as a freshman, I was CERTAIN that being an archaeologist was my calling.

I changed my major before the end of September.

Now, I was taking both geology and archaeology classes that first semester. I intended to get a minor in geology or maybe even double major. But I switched to a geology major with an anthropology minor (and a few other minors thrown in for fun). And the best part was, I was able to do both! My capstone project was using geophysics for archaeological investigation!

So, words of wisdom: See all the rocks you can. Love the rocks. Have fun with it! I don't know any other majors at my school that had field trips! I went to museums, outcrops in the middle of nowhere, and National Parks (and Greece for my research) for FREE. I got to play with rocks and acid and big machines and draw pictures and color stuff (the stuff I was coloring was a completely incorrect cross section of the local geology, but still).

And if all that ends up NOT being what you wanted, change your mind, but try and keep your love of rocks. You can always get a minor!

Obviously I hope it is what you want and it stays what you want! I want every person I meet to LOVE geology. So even when you are confused and there's too much shit to memorize and you want to change your major, see if you can't find some of the really fun shit about this amazing field.

Also, if you get the chance to use a rock saw, fucking take it.

[hiemaldesirae]

Question: how would your characterization of demon Alastor react to finding out for the last 60+ years that what he thought was Vox breaking up with him was actually Demon!Valentino drugging/r**ping him with his venom/aphrodisiac and Vox has No memory of what he and Alastor actually had? No memory of anything except maybe the last month? And to find out Valentino only did this so Vox (who was becoming a TV mogul) would put his pornos on the tv. How would he help Vox remember? What would he do to Valentino? Would Velvette also suffer?

okay so. nonny, i wont blame you for not knowing, especially since ive never explicitly talked about it on main, but for future reference, im not that big on the whole abusive staticmoth dynamic. i can see why others enjoy it, and i do read stories with it from time to time simply because the premise captivates me that much, but in general id say i much more prefer a version where val and vox are at the very least best friends if not crossing into the sort of blurry best friends who smooch sometimes territory.

now having said that, i'll still answer your question because again, not very fair of me to just brush you off for no reason when i never made my preferences clear beforehand. (this gets long, so i'll leave a readmore.) warning: my demon radiostatics are always freak4freak no matter what. so this does get a little iffy in terms of ethics

my favourite interpretation of radiostatic is two sickos who are just as closely obsessed with each other, so in the unlikely case that al would let vox go for that long, when he realizes again the first thing he's going to do is go and. well. for lack of a better term, atticwife him (i hope to god this isn't just a term used in east asian fandoms because if i have to explain this ill eat lead). maybe after a little bit of time, he'll allow vox some liberties, but even then it'd be very little. ill put it this way- imagine the most toxic irl relationship you can: someone who tracks and micromanages their partners every move, barely lets them outside the house without going with them, monitors every friendship that they allow their partner to have, and there you have it. thats radiostatic! ah, young love. so sweet, dont you think? after all, alastor can't risk his muse's eyes slipping off him again. he's been deprived of that attention for far too long, and it wasn't even by his own doing! that's an offense in and of itself.

now im assuming that its only val who's doing the exploitation here so presumably vel would have no hand in any of the mess, and perhaps not even be fully aware of the nuances behind the scenes. i mean, it wouldn't really matter either way because once alastor finds out the reason why his other half hasnt been reciprocating their insane little song and dance he's getting rid of any and all obstacles, permanently. vox doesnt need anyone else so long as he has him- and hey, he was friends with him, rosie and husk first, so its not even as if its much of a loss. the only people he'd presumably leave alive would be voxs own contracted souls, and even then thats a bit of a gamble depending on just how bad i want the both of them to be: without his contracted souls, vox would be weaker and more susceptible to whatever alastor wants, so i guess its a matter of whether or not i want the freak4freak relationship where theyre both equally strong but vox willingly submits because he gets more thrill out of it that way or whether i want freak4freak where vox has to struggle way harder and still ends up giving in anyway because al is simply stronger

as for what he'd actually *do* to val. i mean. he does still have that radio broadcast of his, doesn't he? i think you can probably put the pieces together. the thing with animal sinners is that theres simply so many parts of them to break... show-wise, i never understood how overlords like alastor or val could even rise to their position, with the amount of weak spots they must have. that broken antenna vox and val share is certainly something that speaks to their higher vulnerability. and moth wings are especially fragile: i owned little silkworm moths at one point (they were my babies, i loved them for the month or so i got to care for them) but their wings were so thin they were wearing holes in them by the second or third day. val's coat-wings look much thicker in comparison, but of course, my perception is limited by the show only. so i mean, who knows? im sure whatever happens, itll make the best entertainment in al's eyes :)

[darkartistyt]

I SAW THE TAGS U LEFT ON THAT DES ART I DID AND YOU GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GET IT SO GOOD!!!!!!!!! the fact that hershel did the exact same thing his dad did and how des loves his brother so so so much but is just so angry because hershel fell for the same thing his father fell for, and how desmond did everything right as a parent but lost his wife and daughter but hershel, the golden son, got to have three kids and he just left them, and how in LBMR al is mad towards his father but in LMJ/LMDA kat seems so happy to have him back and how it furthers the parallels of al/des and kat/hersh and not even to think about how flora feels about all this, always being left behind by the prof and now it’s her siblings’ turn to get left behind with her, just OOOOUUGGGHHH THE LAYTON FAM… AAAAUUUUGGHHH

I DIDNT EVEN THINK ABT DES'S FAMILY FUCK THIS MAKES EVERYTHING SO MUCH WORSE (/pos)

looking back at the post itself i am now realising that it cut off the last couple of tags for some reason. probably hit a tag limit or smth idk. so since it didnt keep it there i'll mention it here; there's no way in hell that the happy ending we got in LMDA is going to last

its like. kat's satisfied but al's pissed, des is pissed, and flora doesnt even know how to feel about the whole situation. i imagine with her its like "well this happened before but then it got better but then it got infinitely worse so how do we know it wont happen again." she cant trust that he'll actually stay this time, and it'll probably lead into her growing distant from him. she'll still stay close to her siblings, of course, but how can she trust that their father will be there to, yknow, be their father

meanwhile alfendi and des are unable to put the past behind them and move forward (des i think more so due to trauma but knowing al i think he'd be more vocal about it). so with alfendi it's more like "you left your family behind and we all went through hell and back in the meantime" but with des its more like "you are not only abandoning everyone but you are also continuing the cycle." and its like, the parallels between des and leon are way more obvious and in your face (mostly in the character designs) but with hershel you gotta think about it for more than five seconds. so it makes me wonder how much of leon does des see in hershel...

not to mention the fact that des suffered so much with at least two of his families being stripped away from him and here's his little brother--the one family member he has left, the person who was so disconnected from his bio family that he didnt even know he was a part of it for most of his life--pulling the same shit that fucked up des's entire life in the first place

istg trauma spice and abandonment issues just run in this family... i want to send all of them to therapy

[thequietkid-moonie]

Sharing a darling

[ YANDERE HEADCANONS ] [ Shadowlord & Louise ]

[ NieR Replicant ]

⚠️ This contain heavy spoilers

⚠️ Yandere, I don't support nor try to romanticize this toxic behaivor, is just for entretaiment

I know I know, is more likely that those two canonically never met each other (or at least personally), but I love the two of them so please just dont question and just enjoy this little fic I have just wrote <3

I think i wrote this in a pretty neutral way so you are free to take it as romantic or platonic! 🖤

Replicant or shade, it doesn't matter what you are, what matter is that you are way too important for both and that wont change, both the Shadowlord and Louise can be quite posesive over someone so important for them but they can work together if that means protecting you and keeping you with them (however, making both work together will take too much time and efforts)

It is more probably that you met the Shadowlord before he became the gestalt, when he was still just Nier, getting to be important part of him and his sister's life before the world become what it is now, and yet on the present is when you end up meeting Louise, somehow traveling to that beach where the half destroyed ship is and getting to meet the little girl that is living there

It has being promised to the Shadowlord that he would be able to be with you and his sister again once the project gestalt shows good results, so he spend quite some time using his influence in the shades (along with the Grimores) to be able to find your and Yonah's shades and replicants, while in the mean time both were living your lifes unawere of him, Yonah with her brother and you now slowly starting a relasionship with the girl on the ship

It be either that for being a shade you searched for shelter in the ship with Louise or being a the human that were trying to offer her help, it doesn't really matter what you are, the important is that the feeling that has being growing in her slowly become stronger and stronger, reaching the point where Louise is sure that she wants you, she want to be by your side, she wants you to be her family and she will do everything and anything she can and has to keep you by her side

No matter where you and or how far you are from him, eventually the Shadowlord will find you and will also make everything in his power to get you back to him, wich will lead to both start a fight because non of them are willing to give up on you, they have finally found someone who is important to them and they would be crazy to just lose you!

Both are incredibly stubborn since both are quite selfish, non of them truly care about the rest of the world, they only care about themselfs and you, so this will lead to a really bad fight between the two of them (however, since you were on Louise's ship she is the one who has the advantage). The problem quickly becomes so big and dangerous that it won't take much time before Devola and Popola had to intervene, even if they dont fight each other directly both are the key piece of the Gestalt Project and they can't just take that kind of risk

After some negociations and preparations the problem will be solve by moving you and Louise to the Shadowlord's castle, if non of them will be willing to give up they must work together for the safety of everything (honestly, for the severity of the situation you won't have much room to complain, it doesn't matter if you don't want or not even understand whats happening, the risk is too big to take it), the castle will get adapted for Louise and you two will get there as soon as posible

Even once you two have move to the castle the Shadowlord and Louise will be still quite stubborn and not so willing to sharing due the previous battle (and the Shadowlord insistance in unify your shade and replicant, something Louise doesn't understand nor trust), it will take a while but after some time both will finally manage to make peace with each other, the most stubborn would probably be Louise but once she understand that for him you are just as meaningful as you are for her she will start to let her guard down, for him you are also family, and, as much she hates sharing you with anyone else she has pretty much no other option than do it

The Shadowlord is convinced that he knows what is the best for you and is quite controlling at times, insisting that what he knows what it is the only right way to do the things, while Louise is more possesive, not wanting anyone near you since she thinks she is above any other shade, despite their diferences they will end up working together pretty well, deep down both are incredibly needy and emotional, wanting nothing more than making sure you are safe and keep you by their side

At the end they manage to make things work and share you without much problems, however they can be incredibly suffocating to his darling, the Shadowlord is incredibly needy and emotional towards his darling, you and Yohan are his whole world and in the mean time before he is able to take back her sister you have to carry with his inmense pain since he constantly seaks for your comfort and affection to help him stay still, directly and indirectly reasuring him about how he have made the right choise when he became the first gestalt and the weight he has to carry for it, reasuring his poor heart and soul from the storming feelings that torture him. In the other hand Louise is has never experimented such feeling of love for someone else, this is the first time she doesn't look down at someone and not just that but this complete new feeling are pretty intense, so she just act on them and demand more and more of you (not in a rude way but more in a needy way), she blame you for making her feel hope and desire and yet she isn't rude about it, is is more like desperately asking for more

Aside from both, no one is allowed to reach to you (maybe just Devola and Popola but because is their job to make sure the plan goes right), even when in the castle there are al lot of diferent shades who's has being asked to protect the place non of them has the right to be near you, the Shadowlord can be quite possesive and paranoid, not wanting to take the slighest risk of losing you when he have finally got you back! and Louise doesn't like other shades, she looks down at other shades, besides both are quite dependent of their darling, they want their undivided attention and love, just having you by their side makes them feel right and complete so non of them has reasons to share you with any other shade nor replicant

At the end, the Shadowlord and Louise learn that they are not so diferent and and manage to share your time and affectionate between both, as long as no one else try to steal you is fine, they become quite dependent so if they managed to share you is because is only the two of them and non of them are willing share you with anyone else (except for Yonah, when the Shadowlord manage to bring he back then all of you can be like a big family for the rest of your lifes)