#at least when it comes from people that matter to me [mutuals and fps]

[dysfunctionaldogdude]

Sometimes [A majority] it feels like no one fucking likes me. This may seem really stupid a probably self-centered but I genuinely don't understand why I'm so ignored.

I'm funny, it's been shown people like when I say funny or relatable things but idk barely any of my mutuals interact with me anymore. Some I think is a result of an incident that triggered me and sent me into lockdown.

I hate everytime I leave any platform for any amount of time everyone just fucking stops interacting with me my shit is just a ghost town. When I was popular on.. something idr what.. I got so much fucking interacting then it was all GONE when I had left for my dad's for literally a weekend that just 3 fucking days.

My original art gets zero to little attention, and it's infuriating. My aus get nothing unless I shove it into someone's face and start talking about it. I'm upset people judge my art since it's traditional thinking it's "bad" [which is already pretty fucked up] and just scroll.

I have GOOD and COOL ideas and people have asked me "Oh, why aren't you doing x thing it's really cool!" I fucking KNOW it's cool SORRY if I don't get attention for it.

"You should go to art school" waste my time and energy on something that'll stress me out and make me not like art anymore WHICH IS JUST A HOBBY? [For me] No thanks. <- people pester me about art school [family, family friends] all the fucking time and no matter how many "nos" they get they still persist.

Idfk anymore I'm tired, pissed, upset, and I am likely crashing out.

[mc-doppomine]

Day 20 Bonus: Bad Ass Temple vs Matenrou

I’m just going in order of the battle dates at this point. And I’m just going to go from the music to the character stuff again because I feel it would just get long again. Look, I wanted to go for Bad Ass Temple. Sometimes you want to hope for an underdog. However when it comes to style...I just couldn’t get into BAT as much. Which is a shame because they have the same foundation of their team as MTR and going in the fight a similar way. But in terms of the individual songs, they’re actually pretty even. I didn’t have many songs that I really liked from either side besides One, Two, Law and Black or White. 

I feel this is also the time that I have to say, with music a lot of the time, I’m basing it only as music. It’s lyrics and the like are secondary and mainly used to like inch any song forward if I was truly stuck. So sound wise, it’s been all over the place. Between having flashbacks to high school with Jyushi and feel like I’m being taken to church by Jakurai...it’s been a time. But of course the ones I like are the ones that are ultimately the ones about more mundane stuff I guess? 

And with the group songs...I had to grow to like Kaigen. It’s just a personal thing with slow build up songs, I don’t usually have patience for them which is why I usually like fast paced songs over ballads (there’s always exceptions). But when you get to it though, it is good. I won’t deny that. (Yosh, Jyushi part and then him going off, is such a fuck yeah moment!) Well, Kirei, Kaigen is more fast paced than Tomoshibi, what gives? There’s always exceptions. One is that Tomoshibi doesn’t have as slow a build and that it caught my heart without me knowing what’s going on. Like a lot of my initially crying over Tomoshibi was over how it SOUNDS, not their lyrics. Also it’s slow but not ballad slow. 

Which then brought us to the actual battle. And they would not make us wait. I was gut punched when they let Jakurai and Hitoya go from right out the gate. Anyone else notice how they mirrored each other’s final line of defeating the other with everything they have? Shivers! I initially wondered why these two were put together to fight but it makes sense after Light & Shadow because they have essentially the same ultimate desire of finding safety and growth with their teams but how they go about it is very different. Neither of them are wrong but it’s a matter of the clash between those difference. 

If I had one thing that threw me so thoroughly in this battle though was Hitoya. Like I bet he was the real threat of BAT and I don’t feel I was wrong. But his angle was way different from what I was expecting. Like it seemed like his perspective changed before the 2nd DRB happened. Which ends up coming up really strange, at least for me, in this battle. Because HE is the one that initiated a fight with MTR by challenging Jakurai and was determined to take him down. Not that he still isn’t but he’s already had his chance of reflecting and changed why he’s fighting Jakurai from wanting to drag him down from his high horse to wanting to do this as a challenge against himself. Which isn’t bad, it just makes for a strange dynamic when it felt like it was set up for settling this grudge and he settled it himself before even getting on stage. 

As for the rest of the battle, I don’t have as many memorable lines as they go so fast in this one. It’s a lot easier to lose them but considering this track was designed like a final boss encounter, I guess that’s to be expected. But overall...I just felt like Kuko and Jyushi were too...not that they didn’t take it serious but too green to this kind of scene? Like it reminds me of Jiro and Saburo in War War War except I think Kuko and Jyushi delivered some great lines such as ‘you’ve been so shaved off by society, there’s nothing left of you.’ But they also didn’t seem to hit with me? Although I guess there is a small bias there as like...I feel weird hearing them say ‘middle-aged men’ when I’m not that much younger than Hifumi or Doppo. And know that it’s really not that old...it reminds me of my younger sister.

Lyric wise, it felt like they were fighting two completely different ways and I don’t know how it worked out honestly for me. Like I’m really glad for the sound because a lot of it...wasn’t nonsensical but just didn’t feel like they were going at the same thing. Like MTR didn’t even seem to really focus on beating down on their opponents whereas BAT did. And it makes for such a weird confrontation. So I basically defaulted to what I usually do with the music and go with how I feel from the music and I felt MTR through it. To me, I felt more passion from their delivery and also I’d be lying if I I was living through Hifumi’s haughty laugh, Kuko’s roll of words and Doppo’s screaming (how does Itou-san do it???). 

So yeah, MTR got me with music. 

I said I did the character thing because it’d be shorter to do the music...I didn’t realize I had to so much to say about the music until I was writing. I’m so sorry that this just ends up being super long as I add the character/story aspects...which honestly I guess would be shorter because in the grand scheme both BAT and MTR just have a lot less to lose of going against other teams. Which could be argued is their charm but I don’t know if that alone could save them from future shenanigans to happen in this DRB. But let’s get to the team stuff

BAT vs DH would have to be the most even chance music wise for both teams because they’re new to this battle season. Although I am absolutely terrified of what kind of sound would come from mixing their sounds together. I’m sure all the talented folks behind the DRB music can do it...I just can’t imagine it. I can’t really think of the conflicts here since for the most part they don’t know each other outside of Kuko and Sasara being in MCD for a time. 

BAT vs BB would be a chance to make the ‘koi yo Bad Ass,’ ‘Ou yo Bus Bros’ from Division Battle Anthem+ come true. I’ve hung onto that direct call out since I’ve heard it. There should be answers to their fall out. Ichiro didn’t forget it and feels like Kuko had to have some kind of revelation with it. This would be the chance to resolve this. Meanwhile I also entertain that this iust good hearted fun of like Ichiro, Kuko, Jyushi and Jiro all being around the same age and just being boys having fun. All the while, Hitoya is groaning as he pulls out another set of adoption papers. 

BAT vs FP...I can’t think of anything really since they haven’t had any real connection outside of Ramuda--and I think it was OUR Ramuda--thinking Kuko was too irrelevant for his plans. What a kick that’d be for Kuko to be like ‘so, I heard you were talking shit!’ 

BAT vs MTC, I also have a problem seeing as much of an issue. Outside of Hitoya trying to not have a whole ass conniption. He needs to bring like most of these bastards to court. And also dadtoya because he would not want to drag Kuko and Jyushi around these guys. I fear of Jyuto eating Jyushi alive. Although there could be a slight chance of anger from Samatoki towards Kuko because he’s one of the few people that know the extent of Kuko’s abrupt departure left with Ichiro and even if he doesn’t forgive Ichiro, I don’t think that erases that nasty taste in his mouth. 

And then to reverse around with MTR vs DH, I still think of it being more light-hearted of Hifumi and Doppo being like an accidental rival manzai to Sasara and Rosho. And just ending up petty over it. Watch Hifumi insult Sasara’s suit, ohmygod Hifumi can you not--And meanwhile I’m pretty sure Rei knows that Chuuoku is trying to use Jakurai’s rap ability and I can’t tell if he’s interested in how it goes or if he’d stop it. Because Rei I feel has less hesitance in doing extremes to eliminate what’s in his way. Be that incapacitating Jakurai’s ability or Jakurai himself or ruining Jakurai in a way that he can’t help...that’s all doesn’t seem outside the realm of possibility for Rei to me. 

MTR vs BB would also be a lighter affair as it just seems like bros just going against each other as I don’t know, I think MTR has a softer spot for BB than all the other teams. And to BB it’s like going against dad because I will die on the dadkurai hill. 

MTR vs MTC is rematch REMATCH. DEATH RESPECT PART II. Let’s get it. But yeah outside of sore feelings from last time, I don’t think it’d be as bad as last time. It’s really a ‘nothing personal but you’re in my way’ sort of thing. There is a meeting for the anti-Honobono club that goes on, maybe? Maybe there could be some bad blood if Samatoki knew about Jakurai thinking of helping Chuuoku with perfecting the thing that, at least for a long time in his head, took Nemu from him. 

But unsurprisingly most that would happen is if they did MTR vs FP. Because on one hand, it’s a REMATCH and one I’d personally love because their rap battle was my favorite. But they have the most story threads. I glossed it in the previous but it’s a chance for collaboration or using the other team if Honobono came up. Such as FP throwing MTR at her to distract her from getting Ramuda. They’re cutthroat enough to do it. Or if they could see past their rivalry and work together to save both of their sides from this mutual threat. I think this would be a time for Ramuda and Jakurai to REALLY go at each other. 

Because despite their disdain of each other, I don’t think they hate each other as they like to proclaim. Chuuoku seems to know this feeling on Jakurai’s end as they dangle Ramuda’s well-being in front of him time and time again. Even if he can’t get along with Ramuda, he sure as fuck doesn’t want him DEAD. And it seems to get forgotten but Ramuda IS Jakurai’s MENTOR, the person that taught him to survive in the new direction of the world. Even if this was orchestrated, that bond still exists. And it’s not one-sided because I can’t imagine Ramuda being pleased with Jakurai willingly going with the bitches that made his life hell. He’d be pissed as to how Jakurai could roll over to them (as he might perceive) and his effort to keep Jakurai from them failing. 

Phew...done...with the thing. But yeah in terms of like story/character....mmm, yeah that would have to go to MTR too. I really don’t feel like it’s BAT fault. I just think they’re at a disadvantage for coming new to a battle season. 

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.16 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- TBH Hermione does have a point. After what happened to Midge in Carrie… you go for this musical? But whatever Cheryl wanted it and she’s going to get it because THAT’S MY FUCKING BABY OKAY

- THE OPENING IS KEVIN AND A SOLO THIS IS ALL I EVER NEEDED! Also why does his voice/this remind me of Winn from Supergirl???

- Why does the girl in the background look just like Midge??? That’s—

- What the fuck is that choreography tho sksksksks

- MY GIRL VERONICA ❤️❤️❤️ She’s so sad about her and Reggie breaking up catch me CRYING

- ARCHOSIE AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW BITCHHHHHHH

- I hate to admit that that tiny bughead peck was kinda c*te

- “Why did I hit him?” bitch… who? Also Reggie wondering why he’s a creep I’m—what? he’s changed wtf I don’t see how he’s a creep/why he was a douchebag but alright

- SWANGS ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ALSO I PAUSED AND ARCHIE LOOKS LIKE FRED IM CRYING

- “Are all of you this miserable?” well… yeah… they can never be kids because your bitch ass husband’s plot is being dragged on that it’s boring now so like… yeah… and now they’re being manipulated by a stupid ass tree so ummm

- “She was a real mess after her breakup with Toni” no 😭😭 but love that they literally broke them up just to base the musical around it like… seriously? lol alright at least I know they get back together because they’re the top and only few healthiest couples on the show so

- TONI AND THE POISONS.

- First off… Reggie shoving Fangs and calling him a geek…? Okay… BUT HIM SHOVING SWEET PEA INTO CHERYL BITCH!!!! Cher calling my boy a pervert I’m sad I want them to be boss ass bitch friends like that’s all I need!!

- OMG JORDAN’S VOICE “WHAT DID I EVER DO TO THEM?” literally just choke me bye

- Betty I get that you automatically hate his choice for making Evelyn co-director but uhhhh he directed the last one with Fangs so your sentence is plain wrong lol

- Poor baby Fangs, the trauma of Midge he never got to really address because last time he was accused of her murder and then almost killed himself so like he never had time to mourn I’m—lmao did Kevin just say no to that or like was he being like “no bitch we’re going to talk about Midge fuck your trauma”

- SP’s pettiness love it. “STRAIGHT” reggie neither you or Archie are straight but cool

- LET CHERYL SAY FUCK 2K19

- This is why they were all lying down? That’s… weird but okay. ALSO I hate agreeing with Betty that this entire thing was to recruit people into the farm :( it’s weird because mostly what Betty does is annoying but this season she’s been mostly okay.

- MY CHONI HEART JUST GOT SHOT

- BITCH SKSKSKS “ARE WE GONNA HAVE A PROBLEM?”

- SKSKSK WHAT WAS THE REASON FOR THAT HAIR WHIP SOUND EFFECT

- “SHUT UP TONI” MY—CHERYL JUST PUSHED HER NO

- Evelyn… leave SP’s solo alone :( he deserves this. HE’S LITERALLY A LEAD TOO

- Betty, one of the main’s in the play, is telling Evelyn this musical is for recruitment. Then why tf are you in it Betty

- FP being dismissive of Jughead and how much he cares about the trailer? Smells fishy… 

- Poor Veronica. like yeah her dad is a cunt but like it’s her parents… my poor baby

- So what if he knows? He’s doing illegal shit, it doesn’t fucking matter??? He’s such a whiny pissbaby

- SP BEING ALL CUTE AND SHIT. LMAO “YOU NEED A JELLO-O SHOT” SKSKS WE NEED MORE CUTE HAPPY SP PLEASE AND THANKS

- Veggie… is hot… I love them and want them back together :(

- oH NO SP SAW ARCHOSIE MY BOY IS SO SAD

- TONI AND THE POISONS YESSSSS

- whO THE FUCK IS SITTING IN THE TUB ALICE WAS ALMOST DROWNED IN

- VEGGIE. VERONICA LOOKS SO GOOD UGH I LOVE THEM. Stop with the “Endgame” not only because ew but because she’s said that to Archie and that may be… triggering.

- Did Evelyn just give Kevin a spiked brownie…

- Evelyn you sneaky bitch… I know this is what brings Kangs together but I didn’t want it like this!!!

- FANGS… wow an actual line that provides insight into his life? Mmhm

- That almost smile Fangs gave… was cute… but I’m not here for this recruitment.

- SP IS A PETTY BITCH SKSKSKS like that’s bad but like… shit I can’t wait for SP to rage and save his best friend from a stupid ass cult

- “That is what we in the theater call a breakthrough” um I assume you’ve never been in theater but also I don’t think that’s correct…

- ALSO ALL THIS BERONICA IS SO SWEET I MISS THEM. Still, though, Betty needs to apologize for all of the shit she’s done and said to Veronica

- “He’s a real class act, that Sweet Pea…” girl he has every right to be upset though. I mean he shouldn’t have outed your relationship. Also, the definition of “class act” is a person or thing displaying impressive and stylish excellence so like is that supposed to be an insult…?

- Reggie is so good ughhhhh 😻😻

- Evelyn go away you shady bitch. Also what’s the point of getting mad at Toni for wearing red? lol

- DEAD GIRL WALKING BITCHH I LOVE THIS. OH MY GOD PEACHES? THIS IS THE SCENE? SHE JUST CAME ONTO PEACHES. NOW SWEET PEA. THIS IS THE SCENE. Also Jordan’s voice… choke me! ALSO I love how he’s down with it though? Like I’m guessing this isn’t him and Toni’s first thing… but why are they doing this threesome on the stage lmaooooo

- SKSKKSKS PEACHES AND PEA (MMHM why does that sound nice… she beat him up nooo) LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE “THIS BITCH MADE US UNDRESS AND THEN LEAVES” like thank GOD because Choni but still

- NO ONE CAN TELL ME DIFFERENTLY, SP LIKES TO BE BOSSED AROUND. HE’S A SUBMISSIVE. The way Toni pointed and he just followed? He loves being bossed around bye my story Unholy is correct thank you and goodbye

- GOTTA ADMIT THE “can I borrow your camera?” WAS CUTE OKAY

- OH THIS IS WHERE KANGS GETS LIKE MARRIED LMAO I’ve wanted Kangs (less than Swangs yeah but whatever) BUT NOT LIKE THIS. ALSO DREW’S VOICE FUCK MEEEEE. the kiss 😭❤️ aLSO WOULDN’T IT BE EASIER TO TAKE A VIDEO BETTY LOL

- Archie practicing his moves looks so weird when it’s not on a punching bag or anything like—

- Archosie uwu THIS DUET FUCK ME UPPPPP THIS IS SO CUTE. JOSIE’S ABS FUCKKKK 

- Did Betty seriously think that her taking that picture would work??? Should’ve taken a video but mmhm

- How did Toni get in. I feel like Cheryl would have immediately taken her key. BUT ALSO THE HEATHER’S REFERENCE. AND CHONI. UGH CHERYL’S ABOUT TO CRY STOP STOP STOP!!! Literally this scene proves that Choni is the HEALTHIEST couple on this show like they ACTUALLY took time to talk through their shit (kinda, not the full thing but the start of it at least)

- Did… Jughead just call the Ghoulies/Serpents tonsils??????????

- “… the longing for what they’ve lost” *Swosie looks at one another KNOWING this bitch did this on purpose* COLE SINGING OMFG this really irks me that Bughead has actually been kinda cute on this episode? CHONI BITCH YES. NEVERMIND BUGHEAD GO AWAY I JUST WANT MY TWO QUEENS

- Also if this doesn’t include Swosie… why were they given the sheets and shit from Kevin and whatnot? This is evil. But this proves that Bughead COULD be cute and healthy if they weren’t these annoying little shit heads that they are now like let them be kids and normal and not shitty people… it’s not that hard.

- Betty… I was about to say that you telling him to not let his emotions get the best of him was actually a good idea but then you suggested burning down his fucking trailer. I get it, you’re a Blossom, but chill the fuck out. You ALMOST had a good idea and weren’t being stupid… but now you ruined it.

- Boo fucking hoo your wife tried to kill you Hiram

- So now that even Hiram says that there’s no family anymore… can he let her and Archie (bc come on that all can’t go away with some words and a handshake/mutual agreement) the fuck go? ALSO POOR VERONICA

- OH THIS IS THE SONG EVERYONE WAS PRAISING LAST NIGHT. CAMI IS SUCH A GREAT ACTOR WE LOVE AND STAN A QUEEN!!!

- First of all… SP saying hi to Evelyn… not sure how I feel about that. SECOND OF ALL FANGS IS THE CUTEST BYE

- THE BLOT THING IS SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

- Bughead really get off to violence and shit huh… that’s… weird. But sure.

- why is Betty wearing the crown sweater it looks so weird idk why and Jughead looks so out of place lol

- SWEET PEA GETTING INTO IT IN THE BACK SHITTTTTTT

- Oh this cult clap is creepy… why… that’s so weird stop. Also it’s not like other people to not join in on the clapping but alright

[riverdalexreader-blog]

Hidden / Jughead Jones x Reader

HIDDEN / JUGHEAD JONES X READER Word Count: 1675 Warnings: Profanity, mention of drug abuse. PROMPT: The reader (fem) is Cheryl’s younger sister. She is also Jughead’s secret girlfriend. They keep it private in fear of Cheryl and her parents’ reactions, but one day Cheryl catches them. (Request)

You ran through Eversgreen Forest, your boyfriend Jughead in hot pursuit behind you. You screamed as you looked behind your back and realised how close he really was, causing you both to laugh and pick up pace.

Sooner than you would have liked, you reached the bank of Sweetwater River and instantly screeched to a halt so as not to plunge yourself straight into the water. Jughead crashed right into you, almost knocking you in himself, but he caught you at the last moment and spun you around to be staring into his brilliant blue eyes.

“Looks like I’ve caught you.” he grinned, pulling you further from the river’s edge and onto the stable land.

“Looks like you have. But it’s okay. You’re not as bad as I thought.” you teased him.

“Whatever Blossom,” he laughed and sat down next to one of the trees, beckoning you to sit next to him.

“Blossom? Okay, Jones.” you kicked some of the dirt away from the area of forest undergrowth next to Jughead and lowered yourself down.

“You can’t get your pretty little Vixen outfit dirty can you?” he chaffed.

“Shut up.”

“You know I love you really.” he put his arms around you and pulled you close to him. You leaned on his shoulder and watched the river water flow by, the peaceful tranquillity of the situation bringing you immense comfort.

Both of you spoke to each other, joked and had just a genuinely good time in each other’s presence. You couldn’t believe how lucky you were. It was in Riverdale High’s library when you met Jughead. Being in the year below him, you shared no classes but the pair of you did share this one free period on a Tuesday morning.

You would spend each of these periods in the library studying and catching up on homework. Occasionally Jughead would be in there too, sitting at the same table in the corner, typing something up on his laptop with a to-go drink from Pop’s by his side.

One day, however, he broke this pattern. As you highlighted keywords for an upcoming history test, you heard the chair on the opposite side of the table scrape against the floor. You looked up and saw Jughead sitting across from you.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked. You flashed a brief look at his usual corner table, assuming it had been taken by one of the other students. It hadn’t.

Nonetheless, you accepted and he stayed in his seat, pulling out an actual textbook and not his laptop you were so used to seeing him on. The mutual studying stopped soon after it started and conversation broke out between you two.

The period ended and he left for his next class, leaving you in the library smiling to yourself. Despite the fact you had just met him, there was something about Jughead Jones that you loved. So you decided to ask your older sister in his year about him.

Bad idea.

“Jughead Jones?” she scowled at the mention of his name, “That hobo? He’s really weird and he comes from the Southside, ew. Why?”

“No reason, I just heard his name today, that’s all...”

Your family’s views of the Southside and its residents didn’t change your opinion on Jughead. When next Tuesday rolled around, you eagerly dashed to the library in hopes that Jughead would be joining you again. That’s where you found him already sitting at the table with not only his Pop’s drink but one sitting across from him in your seat too.

“You got me this?” you asked when you reached the table.

“Yeah. I didn’t know what to get you so I just got a cherry soda because you’re a Blossom,” he explained.

“More of Cheryl’s thing, but I still like it.” you giggled and sipped at the drink.

Once again the study period deteriorated into a chatting period. Things continued like this until you and Jughead decided to start meeting up outside of school.

It was a summer’s evening and you were sitting around the back of Pop’s with him when he asked you out. You accepted happily. Because of your family’s views, you decided to keep it quiet for your own safety, you could never be too sure what they would do even to their own daughter.

Which brought you to where you were now. Sitting in his arms in the forest, laughing at one of his sarcastic little jokes and then leaning in. Eyes closed. Slightly chapped lips meeting yours. Sensations of joy spreading throughout your body and knowing you could do this forever and ever but-

“Y/N?” the voice was oh so familiar and you didn’t even have to open your eyes and turn around to see who it was.

“Cheryl- I-” you began but was cut off immediately afterwards.

“Jughead Jones? Seriously? Even after what you’ve been taught about the type of criminals on the Southside? After what his father did to JJ?”

“No, Cheryl-”

“And here? The bank of Sweetwater River. Where that gang crawling with crackheads and criminals, that he’s,” she pointed a finger at Jughead, “Probably a part of snatched him snatched him up and killed him? I can’t believe you.”

With that, Cheryl turned swiftly on her heel and stormed out, disappearing behind the trees.

You wanted to run after her but something held you back. Tears welled in your eyes at the mention of Jason, Cheryl’s fury and her disapproval of your relationship.

Jughead took action immediately, “It’s okay,” he cooed, “She’ll come around.”

She’ll come around. That’s what Jughead had told you. But, no matter how much you wanted to trust his judgement, you didn’t think she was going to.

It had been weeks since the run in at Eversgreen and Cheryl still seemed furious. You sat next to your mother at the dining table, Cheryl across from you. She gave you dirty looks as you ate and at that moment something snapped.

Anger rushed through your body. Why was she giving you such a hard time? She should be happy for you. Basically your entire life she had insisted on finding you a boyfriend, but now you finally had one she was disapproving and cruel. You understood she was upset about Jason, you were too. But that was FP, not Jughead.

You didn’t want to cause a scene in front of your mother and Nana Rose so you bit back your words and rose from the table, claiming you weren’t hungry anymore and going back to your room.

About ten minutes later you heard Cheryl go into her room across from yours and took this as your chance to give a piece of your mind. You strode into the room, slamming the door shut behind you and before she could even open her mouth exploded into a rant.

“Cheryl, I want to know why you’re so pissed off at me for nothing!” she opened her mouth but you cut her off, “Don’t even begin to speak. Yours and mom’s and every other Blossom’s derogatory views of the Southside need to stop. It’s literally a side of town. Yeah, there are more criminals, but that’s because us Northsiders treat them like shit so much that they just resort to gang violence and crime instead of trying out life. Instead of helping, people like our family and that Alice Cooper and even the fucking mayor of Riverdale just keep taking shots at them even though they’re already down.”

You paused for a second but Cheryl stayed silent. You continued.

“And Jason. I loved him just as much as you did. So why am I dating Jughead? Because his father helped do what happened to Jason, not him. He had no part in it. I want you to be happy for me Cheryl, I want to be like how we used to be. But if you’re gonna keep degrading Jug then forget it because he makes me the happiest girl in Riverdale and doesn’t deserve you constantly degrading him.”

Similarly to how Cheryl did a few weeks ago, you turned around and headed back to your room, leaving Cheryl in a stunned silence.

It was a few days after your eruption at Cheryl when she came to your room.

She walked in, sat at the end of your bed and begun speaking.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said, Y/N. And- well- you’re right. Even though I never particularly liked Jughead I should at least be happy for you. Which is why I am going to give him a chance.”

You were shocked.

“I’m sorry for the way I acted and the way I've been treating you these past few weeks, Y/N. Please, forgive me.”

“I forgive you.”

And that was that. The feud was over. Finally, you felt at peace. The next few hours were spent in your room discussing all the events that had taken place in each other’s lives in the weeks that you were arguing.

When you went to sleep that night, you smiled to yourself. You finally had your sister back.

From that day on, everything improved. You could now be more public about your relationship with Jughead and even invite him over to your house without worrying about being walked in on.

Cheryl and Jughead had reached this awkward stage between strangers and friends. Although they were wary of each other still, you were happy with their friendship because it was better than you would have ever expected to happen.

Cheryl was the one to open the door when it was sharply rapped three times.

“Oh, hi Cheryl, is Y/N in?” it was Jughead, wearing his signature beanie and S shirt.

“Yeah, just wait here a sec,” she said and walked back into the house, calling up the stairs for you.

You ran down and thanked her, said goodbye and left the house, hand in hand with Jughead, excited for the date that was about to commence and happy that you didn’t need to be hidden any longer.

[kenaz]

Sultry in September sign-ups close SUNDAY!

From the Years of the Trees through the Fourth Age – it’s time once again to make your Tolkien FPS fanfic dreams come true…  Have you always wanted to read a certain pairing or scenario, but couldn’t write it yourself? Have it written for you – specifically and especially for your own sweet self! And share your own gift in exchange!  That’s right, it’s time for My Slashy Valentine! The exchange focuses on the Elves, Men, Dwarves, Valar and Maiar of J.R.R. Tolkien’s legendarium. Maybe it’s Gildor and Glorfindel you love, or perhaps Boromir-on-Theodred strikes your fancy… or maybe Lúthien and Thuringwethil is your OTP? From the Years of the Trees to the Fourth Age, from sultry tales of the Silmarillion to romances in the Ring Wars – spread the word, recruit your friends and fellow authors, and have some fun!  

Important Dates:

Sign-up Period: July 2 - July 15

Assignments to be distributed by  July 29th

Deadline for first time participants: September 2nd

Deadline for returning participants: September 9th

Archive opens: September 16th, 2018

Rules & FAQ

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[bettycoopergal]

Facing the Demons

Betty, still grieving her breakup with Jughead, finds out about his hookup with Toni and gets kissed by Archie. But she’s done being sad. Now, she’s angry.

Post-2.08 fix-it fic with a happy ending, in two acts.

Read on Ao3

Part I

“Betty…”

After being lulled into her own headspace by the warm fire, Betty is snapped out of her thoughts by Archie’s voice coming from the other side of the couch.

“Hmm?” she questions, still looking into the flames. The room is quiet. Normally Betty likes a little silence, but here it seems so out of place. It’s like the quiet is mocking her, echoing back the emptiness she feels in her heart. It’s been two weeks since Jughead told her to go home at FP’s non-retirement party, and she’s felt broken ever since. Until it sticks. His words keep haunting her. It’s like her mind has turned against her, and now it’s just waiting for her to crack.

To make matters worse, Southside High closed down for renovations last week, so all of the students have been attending Riverdale temporarily. But, of course, Betty hasn’t seen Jughead even here, and she can’t help but feel like he’s purposely avoiding her.

Truthfully, Betty didn’t even know that their argument that night would actually be the end of their relationship. She foolishly texted him a dozen times the next day, only to receive no replies and the abundantly clear message that what they had was now over. It completely devastated her. But she held onto the hope that he still loved her, that he was taking the time he needed to pull away from his own darkness so that they could be together again.

But then, on the first day the Southsiders came to Riverdale, she had a run-in with Toni that completely shattered that hope. Jughead must not have told her about their breakup, because she was all sincerity when she apologized to her for their “meaningless hookup.” Betty’s world was turned upside-down. She didn’t let it show, though. She put on that perfect Cooper smile and told Toni that there was nothing to be worried about, that she could explore whatever feelings she wanted to with Jughead now because he was a free man.

She hasn’t seen Toni since, and she’s glad. Betty knows that she meant what she said about the hookup being meaningless, but she doesn’t know if it was meaningless to Jughead. Because if it was, then why wouldn’t he have told her about it? They could have worked through it together. But now, instead, they are walking the same halls but a million miles apart.

Did Jughead ever really love her in the first place?

It’s been bothering her all week. Surely he did, Betty thinks. She’s trying not to let recent memories drown out all the good ones—the warmth of his body snuggling her close, the rough touch of his hands wiping away her tears, the quiet declarations of love that were reserved only for her.

But it’s hard. It’s hard to not feel like the rug has been pulled out from underneath her, like she’s been tricked. If Jughead lied about something as important as a hookup with Toni, then what else did he lie about?

But Betty tries not to go there, because she knows it’s just her insecurities getting to her. She doesn’t have much hope left that she and Jughead will ever be together again, but she can at least find peace in believing that what they had was real.

Now, it’s the last day of school before the Christmas break, and Betty has to sit here with Archie like her world isn’t crumbling. Just moments ago, they exchanged gifts; she gave him a Giants cap, and he gave her a book that Jughead no doubt helped him pick out when they were still together. But the presents felt meaningless to Betty without their friends there. Without Jughead and his sardonic quips about the meaninglessness of Christmas traditions, without Veronica and her decadent holiday-themed cupcakes. After her fall out with Archie, Veronica pushed Betty away too, saying she needed space from the whole situation. Their little group is broken, and now it’s just Betty and Archie yet again. It all feels so hollow.

“I…” Archie trails off. Betty can feel the intensity of his gaze, so finally she looks up at him. She swallows at his expression. His eyes are soft and vulnerable, and he looks… he looks just like he did when he’d started to say that awful thing weeks ago: A little part of me always thought…

Betty is more than slightly worried now. She spent the whole day with Archie yesterday sleuthing around and trying to figure out the identity of the Black Hood, which was already hard enough because the whole thing felt so wrong without Jughead by her side. But she did it because she had no one else to turn to, and because she knew that Archie was hurting from his breakup with Vernoica just like she was. She wanted them to bond over their heartbreak, as best friends and mutual supporters. But now he’s looking at her like this—like he’s about to screw everything up—and she wants to run away before he can say anything.

As if sensing her thoughts, Archie reaches out and gently grabs her arm, holding her in place. “I… You have to forgive me, Betty,” he says.

“For what, Arch?” she asks, although she doesn’t really want to know where this is going.

“For… Veronica. For not realizing what I had with you until it was gone.”

Betty knows her expression isn’t pleasant. She’s sure it’s a mixture of disgust and anger and disappointment, but Archie has always had a hard time reading her, so she knows that she’s going to have to spell it out for him.

“Archie, no. Don’t be an idiot.”

His hand recoils from her arm as if it’s been burned, and he looks at her like she’s just slapped him. “I’m not being an idiot, Betty. We’re both single now, and… Why can’t we give this a shot? It was meant to be from kindergarten, practically.”

Betty shakes her head in open disbelief. Who does he think he is? She ought to punch him in the face for what he’s doing to Veronica, for what he’s doing to Jughead. She knows he’s usually clueless, but this is too much. This is too cruel.

“I love Jughead,” she says simply, wanting to cut to the chase and end this conversation as quickly as possible. Archie looks at her like he’s expecting her to continue, so she adds a “not you” for good measure. Maybe it’s a little harsh, but she can’t believe how insensitive he’s being right now.

Archie doesn’t react to her words. He just sits there with the same expression, and his eyes dart once from her eyes down to her lips. Betty’s heart skips a beat. He wouldn’t, would he?

Before she has time to react, Archie’s lips are on hers, and his hands are cradling the back of her head. His fingers are threading through her hair, and she feels the walls closing in on her.

Betty shoves him away as hard as she can, standing up from the couch in one fluid motion. She looks at him, tears already flowing freely from her eyes, and she doesn’t even know what to say.

“I hate you,” she finally whispers, not even sure in the moment that’s what she actually feels. She just wants to hurt him like he’s hurting his friends, wants him to feel the pain that’s overwhelming her right now. Without a second glance, Betty is out the door. She doesn’t know where she’s going, and the tears in her eyes are blurring her vision. She needs some space to breathe.

Betty’s feet instinctively take her to the Blue and Gold room, which is currently unoccupied while people take their mid-morning break elsewhere. She slams the door behind her and walks to her desk chair, sinking into it slowly.

She stares at the wall and wipes the tears from her face blankly. In that moment, Betty decides that she is done being sad. Now, she wants to be angry. Carefully, she picks up the stapler on her desk and weighs it in her hand. Without a second thought, she chucks it across the room and into the wall.

The sound it makes when it slams into the concrete is satisfying, but not nearly satisfying enough. Betty sighs, slumping even further into her chair. How has her life turned into this? Not too long ago she was telling her boyfriend that she loved him, and now what? Now, she’s broken his heart, and he’s broken hers. Now, his best friend has kissed her. Now, she can’t be with the only boy she’s ever truly loved, because this stupid town and its evils have won.

Bullshit, Betty thinks.

She stands up abruptly, gathering her things, but then there’s a hesitant knock on the door. Betty rolls her eyes, practically seething at this point. “Archie, leave me alone!” she yells.

When the door cracks open a few inches, Betty lets out a quiet gasp.

There, poking his head through the gap with an unreadable expression, is Jughead Jones.

Her heart goes completely still.

[mbtizone]

Jughead Jones (Riverdale): INTP

Dominant Introverted Thinking [Ti]: Jughead questions everything. He uses his internal logical framework to decide what makes sense and what doesn't, relying more on himself than facts. Jughead is detached and sarcastic, which can sometimes lead him to make inappropriate jokes that others admonish him for ("Do you think I can use Jason Blossom's death as an excuse to get out of PE?") When Archie reproachfully tells him not to joke about Jason's death, Jughead even states that "sardonic humor is my way of relating to the world." Jughead doesn't just go with whichever explanation is the most probable. He considers things from every angle and entertains every possibility that crosses his mind. Sure, Betty's theory that Jason was running away from his parents is more likely, but what if he was actually on the run from drug dealers? He doesn't just want to solve Jason Blossom's murder. He wants to understand it and analyze it. What are the implications? How does it effect the town as a whole? He wants to know all of the hows and the whys. Jughead is good at accurately assessing situations. He thinks practically and can usually come up with the best way to get answers (finding information from Jason's room and the Blossom house). Jughead's habit of constantly asking questions makes him a pretty decent amateur detective. He wonders about what connection Archie might have to Jason Blossom's murder after remembering that he canceled their road trip over Fourth of July weekend. Jughead doesn't use his emotions to make decisions - he wants to remain impartial, objective, and does whatever makes sense to him.

Auxiliary Extroverted Intuition [Ne]: It’s easy for Jughead to make connections and see possibilities. He’s comfortable coming up with theories – especially when it comes to the murder of Jason Blossom. Jughead has great intuition. He noticed the way one of the Grizzly Scouts looked at him, so he tracked him down and told him that he could tell that the boy was hiding something and got him to confess what he knew. After the drive-in is destroyed, Jughead tells his father that maybe they’ll save all of the pieces and rebuild it in a century and wonder about the people who once lived there. Jughead tries to get Archie to think of the future after finding out about his affair with Miss Grundy. Where do you see this going? What do you want in the long-term? Jughead is witty and a talented writer. He’s able to see things for more than they appear to be and uses his powers of keen observation, deductive reasoning, and his talent for piecing together bits of information to construct a larger picture to investigate and report on the murder of Jason Blossom.

Tertiary Introverted Sensing [Si]: Even though Jughead doesn't enjoy participating in Riverdale's various traditions, he has a certain fondness for his own, personal rituals and likes things that are familiar to him, such as the hat he wears every day. Jughead looks forward to going to a double feature each year on his birthday, which he prefers to keep low-key because he hates his birthday. When Archie and FP caution Betty against throwing Jughead a party, she ignores them both and throws him a party that dozens of kids show up to, leaving Jughead extremely uncomfortable. He would've preferred if the three of them had just gone to Pop's for some burgers and milkshakes, even though that's what they always do. When the Twilight Drive-In is destroyed, Jughead tries to appeal to Mayor McCoy, telling her about how his parents would sneak him and his sister in when they were little because they couldn't afford tickets for all four of them. Although he wants to save it because he's been living there, he also has a lot of sentimental feelings for it and doesn't want to see it demolished because of all of the memories he's made there over the years. Jughead often reminisces about happier times and the way things used to be. He tries to get Archie to do the right thing by reminding him of the person he once was.

Inferior Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Expressing his feelings doesn’t come naturally for Jughead. He has a hard time saying and doing the “right” thing. Jughead uses humor as a defense mechanism because he doesn’t know how to properly relate to the people around him, and because he doesn’t like to let himself be vulnerable. Jughead wants to be able to be there for his friends and girlfriend in their times of need, but he struggles to find the best way to help or support them. He can be capable of it, though. When Betty breaks down about her family falling apart, he tells her that she’s holding it together. She’s their rock. Jughead resides in moral gray areas – he’s comfortable there and bases his judgments on what is best for everyone If he tells Archie about Betty’s sleuthing, he betrays Betty. If he tells Betty about Archie’s affair with Grundy, he betrays Archie. So he just won’t say anything to anyone. He prefers to stay out of other people’s affairs and keeps his social circle small. Jughead claims he doesn’t care what people think or say, but he struggles with feeling like he doesn’t “belong” with his friends at Riverdale High. He doesn’t want to blindly follow the crowd, but he evidently struggles with this, as indicated by his argument with Betty at his birthday party, where all of his pent up feelings of alienation come to the surface. He can become insecure and lash out under stress, telling Betty that they’re on borrowed time, and will only last until she gets “sick of slumming it” with him or Archie decides he’s interested in her and she goes running to be with him. He enjoys his independence and autonomy, and doesn’t want to be like all the other sheep, but simultaneously struggles with it. Jughead doesn’t have a full grasp on morality, but he wants to. His novel is bigger than just the murder of Jason Blossom – he needs to know if Riverdale is a good place or a dark, evil place. Jughead tries to convince Archie to go to the police about hearing the gunshot (“A kid is dead, Archie! And you’re worried about some… Some cougar?”)

Note: Even though he's a relatively new character, I've already seen many debates regarding Jughead's type. I see him equally typed INTP and INFP. I completely get why people see him as an INFP, but I see a stronger case for Ti than Fi and I don't see any inferior Te in him (or any Te at all, for that matter). If you concentrate on his inferior function, I think Fe definitely stands out. He's textbook inferior Fe. The deciding factor for me was the fight he had with Betty after she threw him his surprise party. He does pose a lot of moral questions, and he is interested in exploring those themes in his book, but he seems to approach it from more of an intellectual perspective than an emotional once. Even though he's curious, he maintains a certain level of detachment through it all. He's an INTP, he's just not a "typical" INTP.

Enneagram: 5w4 4w5 9w1 Sx/Sp

Quotes:

Jughead: By morning, everyone would be talking, texting, and posting about it. We’d all be feeling it. That the world around us had changed, maybe forever. That Riverdale wasn’t the same town as before. That it was a town of shadows and secrets now.

Jughead: Do you think I can use Jason Blossom’s death as an excuse to get out of PE? “Sorry, Coach, I’m just too depressed and freaked-out right now to do pull-ups. Archie: Don’t joke about Jason Blossom. Jughead: What? Sardonic humor is just my way of relating to the world.

Jughead: Archie. Weirdest thing. This summer, we were supposed to go on a road trip over July 4th weekend… Which you bailed on at the last minute. Is there something you wanna tell me, pal?

Archie: Jug. What’s up? Jughead: What’s up is I saw you, Archie. In the music room. With Ms. Grundy. Archie: Keep your voice down, my dad’s inside. Jughead: I’m trying to help you, dude. I’m trying to be your friend here. Even though we’re not anymore. How long? You and Grundy? Archie: Since the summer. I like her. Jughead: So I’m guessing she’s the reason you’ve been acting weird since summer? Archie: One of them. Jughead: One of them? There’s more? Archie: We were at Sweetwater River on July 4th. We heard a gunshot. The gunshot. Jughead: Dude, you have to tell somebody. Archie: I can’t. Neither can you. If people find out about Grundy- Jughead: A kid is dead, Archie! And you’re worried about some… Some cougar? Archie: Don’t call her that. Okay, she’s not like that, she cares about me. Jughead: Stab in the dark. I’m guessing she cares more about herself. She’s the one who’s telling you not to say anything, right? Look, I saw you guys. She’s messing with you, man. And she’s messing with your mind. Archie: What the hell do you know about it, Jughead? Or about me, even? Jughead: Nothing. But I used to know this guy once. Archie Andrews. He wasn’t perfect but… He always tried to do the right thing, at least.

Jughead: We’re not gonna hug in front of this whole town. So why don’t we both just do that bro thing where we nod like douches and mutually suppress our emotions? Archie: Yeah, but as friends, right? Jughead: To be discussed, over many burgers, and many days.

Jughead: To someone on the outside, peering in, it would’ve looked like there were four people in that booth. But I was there, and I can tell you. Really, there were only three. A blonde girl, a raven-haired girl, and the luckiest red-headed boy in the universe. For one shining moment, we were just kids. Those bright neon lights of Pop’s keeping the darkness at bay. Giving way, as all nights must, to a morning of reckonings.

Jughead: Cheryl and Archie both say they heard a gunshot the morning of July 4th, but they don’t know who fired. Dilton Doiley: Sherriff Keller already asked me about this. And like I told him, my Scouts and I, we didn’t hear anything weird. Jughead: Well, did you see anything weird? Dilton Doiley: A white-winged crossbill. A long-eared owl. Oh. And Cheryl, sitting by the river, soaking wet.

Grizzly Scout: What the hell, man? Jughead: I saw the way you looked at me. During Grizzly training. You’re hiding something. Grizzly Scout: It’s Scoutmaster Doily. He’s lying. Jughead: About what? Grizzly Scout: The gunshot. It was him. He was teaching us how to shoot targets. Jughead: Dilton Doiley shot the gun on July 4th? Grizzly Scout: He’s a hardcore survivalist. He says if we don’t protect ourselves, no one will.

Jughead: Look, I am, by nature, a conscientious objector. Not saying anything to either you or Betty, was the most moral, apathetic choice I could make. Archie: But, Jug. She’s not going to write about me and Grundy in the paper, is she? Like she did with Chuck? Jughead: Dude, seriously? Okay. Come on. Think about what you’re asking. If there was even an iota of a chance that something could hurt you in any way, Betty wouldn’t do it. Probably. Archie: Oh, my God. Jughead: I’m kidding. But maybe she has a point. What do you see happening with Grundy, long-term? What do you want? Archie: I want to be with her. I don’t know how, but I wanna hang on to what we have for as long as possible. Jughead: Yup. I feel that. Trying to hold on to something a lot older than me, too. Archie: Just… If Betty’s gonna do anything crazy, can you please let me know so I can do something to stop it?

Mayor McCoy: I’m sorry, but the Twilight Drive-In? It’s a blight that’s become a cesspool, and a hangout for criminals and transients, and the deal’s done. Andrews Construction is scheduled to demolish the lot on Monday. Jughead: Mayor McCoy, when I was a kid, my family and I would go to the drive-in all the time. We couldn’t afford tickets for everyone, so my sister Jellybean and I would hide in the trunk until we parked. We’d sneak out. It’s like my home. Mayor McCoy: That’s a very sweet sentiment, Mr. Jones. But the future of Riverdale is at stake.

FP: They’ll tear that booth down, too. Raze the whole place. Send it to the junkyard. And us with it. Jughead: Yeah… Maybe they’ll save it. All the pieces. Store it in the town hall attic, and rebuild it in a hundred years. Wonder who the hell we were. FP: Hmm. So where are you gonna live now? Jughead: I’ll figure it out, Dad. I always do.

Jughead: Why does a rich kid sell drugs? Betty: He was running away from his parents. Jughead: Yeah. Probably. Or drug dealers. Betty: Oh, my God. Is that possible? Jughead: It’s a theory. Yours is more likely. But why would he have to run away from mommy and daddy? Betty: Because they’re monsters. Jughead: Yeah, but why, specifically. Betty: Well, we can’t exactly just ask them. Jughead: So we have to ask Jason. Betty: Are you proposing a seance or- Jughead: No. Dead men tell no tales. But their bedrooms, their houses…

Jughead: I didn’t do it, Betty, you have to believe me. Betty: Of course, I was with you, and I know who you are. Jughead: Those Paradise Lost kids went to death row because they wore black and they listened to Metallica. I don’t wanna become a scapegoat.

Betty: You’re not actually upset that I threw you a party, are you? Jughead: It is nice, Betty. I appreciate it. It’s just I would be happier if it was just the four of us in a booth at Pop’s. Betty: Yeah. But we always do that. I wanted to do something special. Jughead: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Betty: Why is everything so doom and gloom with you, Jug? Why can’t it just be normal for once? Jughead: I’m not normal, I’m not wired to be normal.

Jughead: You do know my dad has a drinking problem, right? Betty: Of course I do. I didn’t think people would be drinking tonight. I didn’t plan on Chuck and Cheryl, and the rest of the school crashing, okay? This was supposed to be just your friends. Jughead: You and Archie are my friends, okay? Everyone else, including Kevin, including Veronica, are people that, two months ago, I would’ve actively shunned. Betty: Why? Jughead: In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in, and I don’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird. Betty: Why are you getting so upset? It’s just a party, Jug. Jughead: It’s not just a party. It’s the fact that you don’t know or even care that this is the last thing I would want. You did this for you. To prove something. Betty: To prove what? Jughead: You’re a great girlfriend. I don’t know. Doesn’t it ever occur to you just how different we are? Like on a cellular DNA kind of level? You’re a straight-A student. You’re a cheerleader, for God’s sakes. You’re the perfect girl next door. Betty: I hate that word. Jughead: I’m the damaged loner outsider from the wrong side of the tracks. Betty, come on. Who are we kidding? We’re on borrowed time. Betty: What the hell is that supposed to mean? Archie: Betty, I’m not one of your projects, okay? Like solving Jason’s murder- Betty: No. You’re not a project, you’re my boyfriend. Jughead: Until you’re sick of slumming it with me, or until Archie changes his mind and says he wants to be with you?

Jughead: Weekdays, from 8:25 a.m. to 3:01 p.m., we adhere to a strict regimen. Everything in our lives controlled. But then something like the murder of Jason Blossom happens, and you realize there is no such thing as control. There is only chaos. Nevertheless, some of us strive to impose and maintain order in what is, fundamentally, an orderless world. A fact which would very soon be confirmed in ways none of us could have foreseen.

Fred: Sorry to be missing your birthday this weekend, Jug. Jughead: Oh, you will not be missing anything, Mr. Andrews, I barely acknowledge my own birthday.

Betty: And all this time, I thought you were a lover, not a fighter. Jughead: I’m both. I’ve got layers. You were doing something nice, it’s just that sometimes, when people do nice things for me, I short circuit. Maybe I’m not used to it. Maybe I’m scared… Of getting hurt. Or being rejected for being myself.

Jughead: People like to say that the death of Jason Blossom changed everything at Riverdale High. But certain things, certain traditions never change. Take Homecoming, for instance. Though Jason’s jersey had been retired, the Riverdale Bulldogs would still be playing their arch-rivals, the Baxter High Ravens, with the River Vixens cheering them on. As in previous years, graduates from days of Riverdale Past will come to town to relive their more youthful, more carefree days. Or to make up for lost time.

Archie: Betty, about the Homecoming Dance, can I play a couple songs? I kind of told my mom that- Whoa, you don’t want me to? Betty: No, no it’s not that, Archie, it’s just, um This dance needs to be fun. And your songs, as amazing as they are- Jughead: They make you wanna slit your wrists… In a good way. Veronica: In an amazing way.

Jughead: I’m a little terrified about the social experiment of it all, but I think it’s good for our families to get to know each other. I think it’s important for us. Jughead: So the worm turns. Mary and Fred. A possible rekindling? Archie: That would’ve been a Li’l Archie’s pipe dream. Jughead: Stranger things have happened, man. Like for instance, my dad shaved. Which is the equivalent of tectonic plates shifting. I was thinking, maybe it’s time I go back and live with him again. Archie: Based on the fact that he shaved? Jughead: Well, he also hasn’t missed a day of work, and he quit drinking. Archie: That’s – That’s great, Jughead. But maybe you should wait a little bit longer just to make sure it sticks. Archie: No, dude, I’m telling you, something has shifted. I mean, he even asked to read my work. The essays, the articles I wrote about Jason. Archie: Your dad did? Jughead: Yeah. And he read them. Even more surprisingly, he engaged with them. He asked me questions about them. Archie: What kind of questions? Jughead: Like who I thought did it. Your dad asked you who you thought killed Jason Blossom? Jughead: You repeating everything I’m saying is getting really annoying. Archie: Crap l forgot. My mom likes almond milk in her coffee, and we don’t have any, so I’m gonna go get some. Jughead: Well, you are a terrible liar, Archie. Off to a late-night rendezvous with a certain raven-haired princess? Relax, man, I’m just giving you a hard time.

Jughead: How did you – When did you guys know to go to my dad’s trailer? Veronica: We knew he’d be at dinner with- Jughead: That’s why your mom invited my dad and I to dinner? So these two could break into my his trailer while she interrogated him? Betty: No, I didn’t know what they were doing. But yes, that is why she invited you guys. Jughead: To think I was gonna pass on moving to Toledo with my family for you. Betty: What? Jughead: When we went to my dad’s trailer, you asked me if I believed him. I said I did. Wasn’t that good enough for you? Betty: It was. It was good enough. I didn’t – I tried to stop her. Jughead: You could’ve told me, you could’ve warned me about this. Betty: You were so excited, Jug, I didn’t want to disappoint you. Jughead: So instead you lied? You all lied to me?

Jughead: As long as you’re with me, you’re writing articles about me and my dad, trouble’s just gonna keep coming at you from all sides. Betty: It was just one jerk. Jughead: It’s not just one jerk. It’s Mayor McCoy. It’s Sheriff Keller. It’s Weatherbee, it’s Social Services, it’s the entire multiverse telling me that I don’t belong here, so why don’t I just do everyone a favor- Betty: Hey, hey. You belong here just as much as everyone else. This is your home. You know that, right? Jughead: Yeah.

Betty: Wow, it looks great in here. Jughead: I cleaned it up after Sheriff Keller thrashed it. Just in case my dad- Betty: Until he gets out, I’m not giving up on him, Jug. Jughead: Hell no. That is why I love you, Betty. I love you, Betty Cooper. Betty: Jughead Jones. I love you.

FP: Why Jason Blossom, huh? Out of all the things you could write about, why pick a dead kid? I don’t know. Jughead: It was sort like he picked me. Tell the story that no one was gonna tell. Or even know how to tell. From the outside, looking in. FP: Who do you think killed him? I mean, you and Betty are in this deep. You gotta have an opinion. Jughead: To me, I don’t think the question is, “Whodunnit?” I think the real question is whether Riverdale is a place of good or a place of darkness and evil. FP: Or both. Most things are both.

Jughead Jones (Riverdale): INTP was originally published on MBTI Zone

[booksandcleverness92]

Walls

A Bughead Fic

 When Betty lets her hair down out of her signature ponytail and Jughead removes his beanie, the metaphorical walls come down for some middle-of-the-night conversations, and eventual snuggles. Some angst, some fluff.

Betty’s phone buzzed on her nightstand. The light from her screen lit up her normally pink bedroom. She glanced at her alarm clock and read 12:49 AM and she was flooded with panic. Who was calling her this late?

 “Hello?”

 “Betty… it’s me…” Betty could hear the despair in his voice and she immediately knew something was off.

 “Jughead...? It’s the middle of the night! Are you okay?”

 “It’s a long story. I’m in your front yard. Can I come up?”

 “Yeah Juggie, of course you can, the ladder is still outside my window.”

 Betty hung up her phone and went to her window. The yard was pretty dark, but she could see movement below. Jughead finally made it to the second floor and betty pushed the glass up for Jughead to climb in. Once the window was quietly shut to avoid waking her parents, Betty turned around to survey her late-night visitor.

 “Jug, what’s going on”, Betty whispered to her beanie-clad boyfriend.

 Jughead was gnawing on his bottom lip and avoiding Betty’s eyes. After a deep sigh, he sank onto the edge of her bed and looked up at her. Despite the thousands of things running through his mind at that moment, he couldn’t help but notice that Betty still wore her signature ponytail even while sleeping. Realizing he had been staring at her while she awaited an answer for more than a minute, he finally said, “everything is falling apart”. He noticed Betty tilt her head sympathetically and he immediately averted his eyes back to his shoes. He began chewing his lip again, trying to decide if he should continue. He never shared his feelings or opened himself up like this, but Betty just had an effect on him. Jughead had been hiding behind his perfectly constructed walls for most of his life, and it kept him from looking like the town charity case that he was. He had to develop a tough exterior growing up with FP and the instability that was his childhood.

 He looked back up at Betty and he realized he could never keep anything from her. He was head-over-heels for his childhood friend turned girlfriend, and they had already been through so much together. He took another deep breath, and pulled her down to sit next to him. He reached up absentmindedly and crushed his beanie in his hands to bring it down to his lap to keep his hands busy while he continued on.

 “I feel like I’m wearing a giant target that gets hit any time I try to stand still. My dad is off the wagon again and I don’t know if my mom and sister will ever come back home. Archie and his dad have taken me in, but it feels temporary just like all the other places I’ve crashed, and I feel guilty for not being able to take care of myself like I thought I could. I still have three more years of high school, but I feel like we’ve dealt with enough shit at Riverdale High to last us a lifetime. I feel like I’ve got no home and no family and I just can’t handle off of this on my own anymore. I know you’re currently dealing with your own tsunami of crap too and I’m sorry for complaining about my life like an asshole when I should be focused on helping you through everything.”

 Before Jughead could stop himself, his worries and fears came tumbling out of him at an alarming pace. He finally took a breath when Betty put her hands on his forearms to stop him from twisting his hat furiously.

 He looked up at her and noticed a tear sliding down her cheek. “Betty, please don’t pity me, it’s my least favorite flavor”, Jughead sighed.

 “I don’t pity you Juggie. I care about you and this is compassion, and anger and frustration that you have to go through all of this. You don’t have to do it alone though, Jug. I am here for you and so are Archie and his dad. You have a family, and a home as long as you’ll let us into your life. You are the strongest person I’ve ever known, but it’s okay to let the world know that you’re hurting sometimes. You have every reason to be a little broken. The universe has dealt you a pretty shitty hand Jug, and I don’t know how you get up and put that crown on your head every day, but I am so, so thankful that you do, because it gives me a reason to straighten my ponytail and face the world too. We have each other and while life is pretty bad right now, I know you can get through anything.”

 Jughead releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. Damn, he was lucky to have Betty as his best friend and girlfriend. He knew he didn’t deserve her in the slightest, but he also knew he would hold on to her for dear life until he couldn’t anymore.

 He reached up and wiped her tears off with his thumbs before intertwining his fingers with hers on her bed.

 “I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you say ‘shit’, Betty Cooper”.

 Betty chuckled and play swatted him on the shoulder with her free hand. “That’s your takeaway from what I said?!”

 “Shhhh keep it down, I would hate to wake up momma Cooper. And, I appreciate what you said Betty, I do. You always know what to say to bring me back from the brink. You make me feel like I’m home.” Jughead blushed as he quietly added the last sentiment.

 Betty squeezed his hand and replied, “Juggie I feel the same way. You’re the only reason I haven’t had like a thousand panic attacks over the last few months. I would be residing in Polly’s old room at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy if you weren’t here to keep my craziness at bay.” Betty began tugging at her ponytail as the conversation turned to her fear of mental health issues. She stared at her rug to avoid seeing Jughead’s realization that he was dating an unstable ticking time bomb of insanity. She knew now that Polly wasn’t sent away for being crazy, but the town-wide comments about her family’s genetic madness were constantly gnawing at her in the back of her mind. She knew she wasn’t crazy, but she also recognized that she sometimes didn’t have control over the darkness inside of her. She wanted so badly to be the perfect person her parents conditioned her to be, but any time someone mentioned the word “perfect” in reference to her, she felt her fingernails sink into the worn scars on her palms and something sinister stir inside of her.

 Betty realized she had been playing with her hair without realizing it for so long that her elastic had broken and her waves had found a new home framing her face. She felt Jughead’s hands on her jaw and her eyes snapped back up to his.

 “Betty, I know what you’re thinking, and I need you to listen to me. No one is perfect. Perfection is objective and impossible to achieve. Stop trying to please your parents’ antiquated ideals and be yourself. You aren’t possessed by anything; what you’re feeling is your suppressed emotions bottling up to the forefront. You will start feeling much better once you stop trying to force your feelings down in order to keep up the girl-next-door façade. I see you Betty Cooper, and I am not going anywhere, no matter how many imperfect things you share with me.” Jughead finished and leaned in to give Betty a soft kiss and felt her breathe out into his lips.

 Betty broke the kiss to wrap her arms around her boyfriend for a tight embrace. She buried her face into Jughead’s neck and whispered “Thank you Juggie.”

 Jughead blew out a breath to move some of Betty’s uncharacteristically free hair from under his nose. Betty giggled and moved back to look at him. A lot of unspoken things were said in that moment; promises of stability and unconditional love were mutually communicated by one look shared by the teenagers.

 Finally, Betty broke the silence and asked, “does Archie or Mr. Andrews know you’re over here in the middle of the night?”

 Jughead shook his head and said “No”.

 Betty reached out to hold his hand once more before asking, “do you want to stay with me for a while? I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

 Jughead gave Betty his signature smirk, and she got up to walk to the other side of her bed. She climbed in and lifted the covers for Jughead to join her. He arched an eyebrow before kicking off his shoes and removing the denim jacket he had thrown on over his flannel pajama pants and one of his “S” t-shirts. He slid in next to her and lifted his right arm for her to move in closer. She placed her head on Jughead’s shoulder and wrapped her arm around his abdomen. She looked up at him and smiled.

 Jughead ran his fingers through Betty’s blonde curls and said, “I like your hair like this”.

 Betty snorted and whispered, “I can’t remember the last time anyone saw me without my signature ponytail. Don’t get used to it Juggie; I have a reputation to uphold, you know. I could say the same about you and your beanie, which is currently laying forgotten at the end of my bed.”

 Jughead smiled down at Betty and said, “when I’m with you, keeping up the front doesn’t seem as important. I can let my walls down and be myself with you Betty”.

 “I feel honored, Jug. If you can let down your walls, then I guess I can let down my hair too.”

 Jughead planted a kiss on Betty’s forehead. “Thanks for letting me climb up to your window again, Juliet.”

 “Thanks for being willing to scale my walls, Romeo.”

 Betty leaned up and pushed her hands through Jughead’s hair and placed her lips on his. He deepened the kiss and she parted her lips to allow his tongue access. They explored each other with something akin to desperation. Two people hanging by a thread, clinging to each other above all else.

 When they came up for air, Betty snuggled into Jughead’s chest and sighed contentedly. Jughead smiled, because he finally felt like he was home, and Betty felt comfortable in her own skin. All of their problems might not be fixed, but they were together, and willing to fight to the death for what they believed in; they just hope it wouldn’t come to that.

 The two stayed molded to one another, dosing in and out of sleep for hours, sharing kisses and whispers. When the sun made its first appearance, they untangled and Jughead prepared to sneak back into the Andrews’ house before anyone woke up and realized he was gone. Betty pulled her hair back into a ponytail and Jughead donned his beanie. The walls had gone back up, but only for the rest of the world. While they may leave them up for everyone else, Betty and Jughead could always see through them and would always be able to get through to the other. No walls, physical or metaphorical, would keep them from seeing the rawest forms of each other.  

[justanothergirlwithbpd]

Favorite Person (FP)

“An “FP” (or Favorite Person) is a person who someone with mental illness relies on for support, and often looks up to or idolizes.” this is just one definition of FP, this one comes from The Mighty post https://themighty.com/2018/06/im-a-favorite-person-bpd-borderline-personality-disorder/ 

That is personally the best definition of a FP for me. 

I have been thinking about my life and who were/are my FPs, since most people with B.P.D have at least one. For the longest time my FP was my best friend whom I held almost thirteen year friendship till recently. We will call this person Demi. Recently, I cut Demi out of my life, for good reasons. A lot of people doubted I could do it or that I would stick with it but I can’t blame them. For thirteen years Demi and I have been in a parasitic relationship, with me being the host. Demi has their own mental illness and past history just like I have mine, but Demi would always choice the more self destructive path or the most beneficial path for themselves no matter whom they hurt in that process. Even if that person they hurt was me. I would ALWAYS forgive Demi, no matter what it was, for example when they up and left a job I got them and moved out causing me to loose my home and wrecked my credit, all because I was lecturing Demi about needing to show up for work to make money to pay their part. Demi’s most favorite act to commit towards me was to send me a Goodbye text, not just suicidal thoughts but claiming they weren't be there but it was just a form of manipulation. The first time Demi did this to me was when I was in high school, even got our mutual friend in on it. Such as this person called me CRYING telling me Demi committed suicide by overdose. It was the WORST weekend of my high school life, I thought my best friend was gone but of course Demi was alive (we lived in two different states so I wouldn’t have seen Demi at school). I forgave him, trying to be understanding of Demi’s pain and that they only did that to “unburden me of them”. Demi used that same tactic around five more times even as recently as two months ago. The difference this last time was I didn’t respond to it, I didn’t run to Demi or try to get someone to find them. I privately made sure Demi didn’t kill them self, checking local new articles and checking the two hospitals for them to avoid the guilt of if Demi was actually not trying to manipulate me. Which is what Demi was doing at the time. Demi is alive and well. But I killed our relationship. It broke my heart. I told people whom understood because they also had cut Demi out of their lives for similar reasons. so far I have only respond to Demi’s texts once because they tried “do I mean that little to you” tactic. Which my response was to screenshot their manipulation tactic of suicide and the message where I told Demi that they needed to go get help to stop the cycle of their toxic life/behavior or I wasn’t going to be here for them because my children needed me and Demi was just helping me create my own toxic behavior. Each day is a battle for me to not reach out for Demi because no matter what, I wouldn’t be alone if Demi was there but Demi is just like gasoline to a fire. But for me to grow out of my own toxic behaviors, I can’t have someone whom is content without growing into a better person and not letting their mental illness or past define them negativity 

Demi if you see this, I do hope you are well. If you are on a healthier path please tell me all about it. If not, I do hope you are happy with your life.

With Demi absence, my husband has become my FP which is weird for me because most my FP in my life have been friends. But with having my husband as my FP, we have a very considerate and close relationship but don’t get me wrong we aren’t prefect. We are still growing together and I wouldn’t wanna grow with anyone else.