#at least understanding what the game is saying is important in understanding the themes as a whole imo

[denizenhardwick]

Reading Comprehension Questions:

Why did the creators make Akechi 18 years old, legally a minor in Japan at the time and the same age as several members of the Phantom Thieves? What does P5 have to say about children in Japanese society in general?

What is his relationship with Joker? Do they really hate each other? Use evidence and quotes from the text to support your answer.

Why did Akechi kill people? Was it because he wanted to, or were there other reasons at play? What social dynamics are at play between him and Shido?

What similarities and differences does Akechi's backstory have with those of the other Phantom Thieves? What do these comparisons have to say?

How do the other characters view Akechi after the scene in the engine room? What do they say about him and why?

BONUS: Play the in-game video game "Featherman Seekers." In what ways does the story of Grey Pigeon mirror Akechi? How is Grey Pigeon discussed? What does the inclusion of this minigame imply about how Akechi is meant to be perceived by the audience?

[exeggcute]

the great reddit API meltdown of '23, or: this was always bound to happen

there's a lot of press about what's going on with reddit right now (app shutdowns, subreddit blackouts, the CEO continually putting his foot in his mouth), but I haven't seen as much stuff talking about how reddit got into this situation to begin with. so as a certified non-expert and Context Enjoyer I thought it might be helpful to lay things out as I understand them—a high-level view, surveying the whole landscape—in the wonderful world of startups, IPOs, and extremely angry users.

disclaimer that I am not a founder or VC (lmao), have yet to work at a company with a successful IPO, and am not a reddit employee or third-party reddit developer or even a subreddit moderator. I do work at a startup, know my way around an API or two, and have spent twelve regrettable years on reddit itself. which is to say that I make no promises of infallibility, but I hope you'll at least find all this interesting.

profit now or profit later

before you can really get into reddit as reddit, it helps to know a bit about startups (of which reddit is one). and before I launch into that, let me share my Three Types Of Websites framework, which is basically just a mental model about financial incentives that's helped me contextualize some of this stuff.

(1) website/software that does not exist to make money: relatively rare, for a variety of reasons, among them that it costs money to build and maintain a website in the first place. wikipedia is the evergreen example, although even wikipedia's been subject to criticism for how the wikimedia foundation pays out its employees and all that fun nonprofit stuff. what's important here is that even when making money is not the goal, money itself is still a factor, whether it's solicited via donations or it's just one guy paying out of pocket to host a hobby site. but websites in this category do, generally, offer free, no-strings-attached experiences to their users.

(I do want push back against the retrospective nostalgia of "everything on the internet used to be this way" because I don't think that was ever really true—look at AOL, the dotcom boom, the rise of banner ads. I distinctly remember that neopets had multiple corporate sponsors, including a cookie crisp-themed flash game. yahoo bought geocities for $3.6 billion; money's always been trading hands, obvious or not. it's indisputable that the internet is simply different now than it was ten or twenty years ago, and that monetization models themselves have largely changed as well (I have thoughts about this as it relates to web 1.0 vs web 2.0 and their associated costs/scale/etc.), but I think the only time people weren't trying to squeeze the internet for all the dimes it can offer was when the internet was first conceived as a tool for national defense.)

(2) website/software that exists to make money now: the type that requires the least explanation. mostly non-startup apps and services, including any random ecommerce storefront, mobile apps that cost three bucks to download, an MMO with a recurring subscription, or even a news website that runs banner ads and/or offers paid subscriptions. in most (but not all) cases, the "make money now" part is obvious, so these things don't feel free to us as users, even to the extent that they might have watered-down free versions or limited access free trials. no one's shocked when WoW offers another paid expansion packs because WoW's been around for two decades and has explicitly been trying to make money that whole time.

(3) website/software that exists to make money later: this is the fun one, and more common than you'd think. "make money later" is more or less the entire startup business model—I'll get into that in the next section—and is deployed with the expectation that you will make money at some point, but not always by means as obvious as "selling WoW expansions for forty bucks a pop."

companies in this category tend to have two closely entwined characteristics: they prioritize growth above all else, regardless of whether this growth is profitable in any way (now, or sometimes, ever), and they do this by offering users really cool and awesome shit at little to no cost (or, if not for free, then at least at a significant loss to the company).

so from a user perspective, these things either seem free or far cheaper than their competitors. but of course websites and software and apps and [blank]-as-a-service tools cost money to build and maintain, and that money has to come from somewhere, and the people supplying that money, generally, expect to get it back...

just not immediately.

startups, VCs, IPOs, and you

here's the extremely condensed "did NOT go to harvard business school" version of how a startup works:

(1) you have a cool idea.

(2) you convince some venture capitalists (also known as VCs) that your idea is cool. if they see the potential in what you're pitching, they'll give you money in exchange for partial ownership of your company—which means that if/when the company starts trading its stock publicly, these investors will own X numbers of shares that they can sell at any time. in other words, you get free money now (and you'll likely seek multiple "rounds" of investors over the years to sustain your company), but with the explicit expectations that these investors will get their payoff later, assuming you don't crash and burn before that happens.

during this phase, you want to do anything in your power to make your company appealing to investors so you can attract more of them and raise funds as needed. because you are definitely not bringing in the necessary revenue to offset operating costs by yourself.

it's also worth nothing that this is less about projecting the long-term profitability of your company than it's about its perceived profitability—i.e., VCs want to put their money behind a company that other people will also have confidence in, because that's what makes stock valuable, and VCs are in it for stock prices.

(3) there are two non-exclusive win conditions for your startup: you can get acquired, and you can have an IPO (also referred to as "going public"). these are often called "exit scenarios" and they benefit VCs and founders, as well as some employees. it's also possible for a company to get acquired, possibly even more than once, and then later go public.

acquisition: sell the whole damn thing to someone else. there are a million ways this can happen, some better than others, but in many cases this means anyone with ownership of the company (which includes both investors and employees who hold stock options) get their stock bought out by the acquiring company and end up with cash in hand. in varying amounts, of course. sometimes the founders walk away, sometimes the employees get laid off, but not always.

IPO: short for "initial public offering," this is when the company starts trading its stocks publicly, which means anyone who wants to can start buying that company's stock, which really means that VCs (and employees with stock options) can turn that hypothetical money into real money by selling their company stock to interested buyers.

drawing from that, companies don't go for an IPO until they think their stock will actually be worth something (or else what's the point?)—specifically, worth more than the amount of money that investors poured into it. The Powers That Be will speculate about a company's IPO potential way ahead of time, which is where you'll hear stuff about companies who have an estimated IPO evaluation of (to pull a completely random example) $10B. actually I lied, that was not a random example, that was reddit's valuation back in 2021 lol. but a valuation is basically just "how much will people be interested in our stock?"

as such, in the time leading up to an IPO, it's really really important to do everything you can to make your company seem like a good investment (which is how you get stock prices up), usually by making the company's numbers look good. but! if you plan on cashing out, the long-term effects of your decisions aren't top of mind here. remember, the industry lingo is "exit scenario."

if all of this seems like a good short-term strategy for companies and their VCs, but an unsustainable model for anyone who's buying those stocks during the IPO, that's because it often is.

also worth noting that it's possible for a company to be technically unprofitable as a business (meaning their costs outstrip their revenue) and still trade enormously well on the stock market; uber is the perennial example of this. to the people who make money solely off of buying and selling stock, it literally does not matter that the actual rideshare model isn't netting any income—people think the stock is valuable, so it's valuable.

this is also why, for example, elon musk is richer than god: if he were only the CEO of tesla, the money he'd make from selling mediocre cars would be (comparatively, lol) minimal. but he's also one of tesla's angel investors, which means he holds a shitload of tesla stock, and tesla's stock has performed well since their IPO a decade ago (despite recent dips)—even if tesla itself has never been a huge moneymaker, public faith in the company's eventual success has kept them trading at high levels. granted, this also means most of musk's wealth is hypothetical and not liquid; if TSLA dropped to nothing, so would the value of all the stock he holds (and his net work with it).

what's an API, anyway?

to move in an entirely different direction: we can't get into reddit's API debacle without understanding what an API itself is.

an API (short for "application programming interface," not that it really matters) is a series of code instructions that independent developers can use to plug their shit into someone else's shit. like a series of tin cans on strings between two kids' treehouses, but for sending and receiving data.

APIs work by yoinking data directly from a company's servers instead of displaying anything visually to users. so I could use reddit's API to build my own app that takes the day's top r/AITA post and transcribes it into pig latin: my app is a bunch of lines of code, and some of those lines of code fetch data from reddit (and then transcribe that data into pig latin), and then my app displays the content to anyone who wants to see it, not reddit itself. as far as reddit is concerned, no additional human beings laid eyeballs on that r/AITA post, and reddit never had a chance to serve ads alongside the pig-latinized content in my app. (put a pin in this part—it'll be relevant later.)

but at its core, an API is really a type of protocol, which encompasses a broad category of formats and business models and so on. some APIs are completely free to use, like how anyone can build a discord bot (but you still have to host it yourself). some companies offer free APIs to third-party developers can build their own plugins, and then the company and the third-party dev split the profit on those plugins. some APIs have a free tier for hobbyists and a paid tier for big professional projects (like every weather API ever, lol). some APIs are strictly paid services because the API itself is the company's core offering.

reddit's financial foundations

okay thanks for sticking with me. I promise we're almost ready to be almost ready to talk about the current backlash.

reddit has always been a startup's startup from day one: its founders created the site after attending a startup incubator (which is basically a summer camp run by VCs) with the successful goal of creating a financially successful site. backed by that delicious y combinator money, reddit got acquired by conde nast only a year or two after its creation, which netted its founders a couple million each. this was back in like, 2006 by the way. in the time since that acquisition, reddit's gone through a bunch of additional funding rounds, including from big-name investors like a16z, peter thiel (yes, that guy), sam altman (yes, also that guy), sequoia, fidelity, and tencent. crunchbase says that they've raised a total of $1.3B in investor backing.

in all this time, reddit has never been a public company, or, strictly speaking, profitable.

APIs and third-party apps

reddit has offered free API access for basically as long as it's had a public API—remember, as a "make money later" company, their primary goal is growth, which means attracting as many users as possible to the platform. so letting anyone build an app or widget is (or really, was) in line with that goal.

as such, third-party reddit apps have been around forever. by third-party apps, I mean apps that use the reddit API to display actual reddit content in an unofficial wrapper. iirc reddit didn't even have an official mobile app until semi-recently, so many of these third-party mobile apps in particular just sprung up to meet an unmet need, and they've kept a small but dedicated userbase ever since. some people also prefer the user experience of the unofficial apps, especially since they offer extra settings to customize what you're seeing and few to no ads (and any ads these apps do display are to the benefit of the third-party developers, not reddit itself.)

(let me add this preemptively: one solution I've seen proposed to the paid API backlash is that reddit should have third-party developers display reddit's ads in those third-party apps, but this isn't really possible or advisable due to boring adtech reasons I won't inflict on you here. source: just trust me bro)

in addition to mobile apps, there are also third-party tools that don’t replace the Official Reddit Viewing Experience but do offer auxiliary features like being able to mass-delete your post history, tools that make the site more accessible to people who use screen readers, and tools that help moderators of subreddits moderate more easily. not to mention a small army of reddit bots like u/AutoWikibot or u/RemindMebot (and then the bots that tally the number of people who reply to bot comments with “good bot” or “bad bot).

the number of people who use third-party apps is relatively small, but they arguably comprise some of reddit’s most dedicated users, which means that third-party apps are important to the people who keep reddit running and the people who supply reddit with high-quality content.

unpaid moderators and user-generated content

so reddit is sort of two things: reddit is a platform, but it’s also a community.

the platform is all the unsexy (or, if you like python, sexy) stuff under the hood that actually makes the damn thing work. this is what the company spends money building and maintaining and "owns." the community is all the stuff that happens on the platform: posts, people, petty squabbles. so the platform is where the content lives, but ultimately the content is the reason people use reddit—no one’s like “yeah, I spend time on here because the backend framework really impressed me."

and all of this content is supplied by users, which is not unique among social media platforms, but the content is also managed by users, which is. paid employees do not govern subreddits; unpaid volunteers do. and moderation is the only thing that keeps reddit even remotely tolerable—without someone to remove spam, ban annoying users, and (god willing) enforce rules against abuse and hate speech, a subreddit loses its appeal and therefore its users. not dissimilar to the situation we’re seeing play out at twitter, except at twitter it was the loss of paid moderators;  reddit is arguably in a more precarious position because they could lose this unpaid labor at any moment, and as an already-unprofitable company they absolutely cannot afford to implement paid labor as a substitute.

oh yeah? spell "IPO" backwards

so here we are, June 2023, and reddit is licking its lips in anticipation of a long-fabled IPO. which means it’s time to start fluffing themselves up for investors by cutting costs (yay, layoffs!) and seeking new avenues of profit, however small.

this brings us to the current controversy: reddit announced a new API pricing plan that more or less prevents anyone from using it for free.

from reddit's perspective, the ostensible benefits of charging for API access are twofold: first, there's direct profit to be made off of the developers who (may or may not) pay several thousand dollars a month to use it, and second, cutting off unsanctioned third-party mobile apps (possibly) funnels those apps' users back into the official reddit mobile app. and since users on third-party apps reap the benefit of reddit's site architecture (and hosting, and development, and all the other expenses the site itself incurs) without “earning” money for reddit by generating ad impressions, there’s a financial incentive at work here: even if only a small percentage of people use third-party apps, getting them to use the official app instead translates to increased ad revenue, however marginal.

(also worth mentioning that chatGPT and other LLMs were trained via tools that used reddit's API to scrape post and content data, and now that openAI is reaping the profits of that training without giving reddit any kickbacks, reddit probably wants to prevent repeats of this from happening in the future. if you want to train the next LLM, it's gonna cost you.)

of course, these changes only benefit reddit if they actually increase the company’s revenue and perceived value/growth—which is hard to do when your users (who are also the people who supply the content for other users to engage with, who are also the people who moderate your communities and make them fun to participate in) get really fucking pissed and threaten to walk.

pricing shenanigans

under the new API pricing plan, third-party developers are suddenly facing steep costs to maintain the apps and tools they’ve built.

most paid APIs are priced by volume: basically, the more data you send and receive, the more money it costs. so if your third-party app has a lot of users, you’ll have to make more API requests to fetch content for those users, and your app becomes more expensive to maintain. (this isn’t an issue if the tool you’re building also turns a profit, but most third-party reddit apps make little, if any, money.)

which is why, even though third-party apps capture a relatively small portion of reddit’s users, the developer of a popular third-party app called apollo recently learned that it would cost them about $20 million a year to keep the app running. and apollo actually offers some paid features (for extra in-app features independent of what reddit offers), but nowhere near enough to break even on those API costs.

so apollo, any many apps like it, were suddenly unable to keep their doors open under the new API pricing model and announced that they'd be forced to shut down.

backlash, blackout

plenty has been said already about the current subreddit blackouts—in like, official news outlets and everything—so this might be the least interesting section of my whole post lol. the short version is that enough redditors got pissed enough that they collectively decided to take subreddits “offline” in protest, either by making them read-only or making them completely inaccessible. their goal was to send a message, and that message was "if you piss us off and we bail, here's what reddit's gonna be like: a ghost town."

but, you may ask, if third-party apps only captured a small number of users in the first place, how was the backlash strong enough to result in a near-sitewide blackout? well, two reasons:

first and foremost, since moderators in particular are fond of third-party tools, and since moderators wield outsized power (as both the people who keep your site more or less civil, and as the people who can take a subreddit offline if they feel like it), it’s in your best interests to keep them happy. especially since they don’t get paid to do this job in the first place, won’t keep doing it if it gets too hard, and essentially have nothing to lose by stepping down.

then, to a lesser extent, the non-moderator users on third-party apps tend to be Power Users who’ve been on reddit since its inception, and as such likely supply a disproportionate amount of the high-quality content for other users to see (and for ads to be served alongside). if you drive away those users, you’re effectively kneecapping your overall site traffic (which is bad for Growth) and reducing the number/value of any ad impressions you can serve (which is bad for revenue).

also a secret third reason, which is that even people who use the official apps have no stake in a potential IPO, can smell the general unfairness of this whole situation, and would enjoy the schadenfreude of investors getting fucked over. not to mention that reddit’s current CEO has made a complete ass of himself and now everyone hates him and wants to see him suffer personally.

(granted, it seems like reddit may acquiesce slightly and grant free API access to a select set of moderation/accessibility tools, but at this point it comes across as an empty gesture.)

"later" is now "now"

TL;DR: this whole thing is a combination of many factors, specifically reddit being intensely user-driven and self-governed, but also a high-traffic site that costs a lot of money to run (why they willingly decided to start hosting video a few years back is beyond me...), while also being angled as a public stock market offering in the very near future. to some extent I understand why reddit’s CEO doubled down on the changes—he wants to look strong for investors—but he’s also made a fool of himself and cast a shadow of uncertainty onto reddit’s future, not to mention the PR nightmare surrounding all of this. and since arguably the most important thing in an IPO is how much faith people have in your company, I honestly think reddit would’ve fared better if they hadn’t gone nuclear with the API changes in the first place.

that said, I also think it’s a mistake to assume that reddit care (or needs to care) about its users in any meaningful way, or at least not as more than means to an end. if reddit shuts down in three years, but all of the people sitting on stock options right now cashed out at $120/share and escaped unscathed... that’s a success story! you got your money! VCs want to recoup their investment—they don’t care about longevity (at least not after they’re gone), user experience, or even sustained profit. those were never the forces driving them, because these were never the ultimate metrics of their success.

and to be clear: this isn’t unique to reddit. this is how pretty much all startups operate.

I talked about the difference between “make money now” companies and “make money later” companies, and what we’re experiencing is the painful transition from “later” to “now.” as users, this change is almost invisible until it’s already happened—it’s like a rug we didn’t even know existed gets pulled out from under us.

the pre-IPO honeymoon phase is awesome as a user, because companies have no expectation of profit, only growth. if you can rely on VC money to stay afloat, your only concern is building a user base, not squeezing a profit out of them. and to do that, you offer cool shit at a loss: everything’s chocolate and flowers and quarterly reports about the number of signups you’re getting!

...until you reach a critical mass of users, VCs want to cash in, and to prepare for that IPO leadership starts thinking of ways to make the website (appear) profitable and implements a bunch of shit that makes users go “wait, what?”

I also touched on this earlier, but I want to reiterate a bit here: I think the myth of the benign non-monetized internet of yore is exactly that—a myth. what has changed are the specific market factors behind these websites, and their scale, and the means by which they attempt to monetize their services and/or make their services look attractive to investors, and so from a user perspective things feel worse because the specific ways we’re getting squeezed have evolved. maybe they are even worse, at least in the ways that matter. but I’m also increasingly less surprised when this occurs, because making money is and has always been the goal for all of these ventures, regardless of how they try to do so.

[theboywithburninghands]

Some of the themes I’ve noticed playing FromSoft Games

Dark Souls: The end of one thing is always the beginning of something else. History is always more complicated than what we initially believed. You should always think carefully about what people in power tell you, because they most likely don’t have your best intentions in mind.

Dark Souls 2: Everyone is special, but only for a short period of time, because entropy is inevitable. Memories are important, treasure them and preserve them before you can’t remember them anymore. People who do bad things are often scared and hurt.

Dark Souls 3: Sometimes it’s better to let things end rather than drag them out until they’re exhausted. When times are tough, that’s when you should be most vigilant for bad influences. Having a purpose doesn’t always mean changing the world.

Bloodborne: There are some things we don’t or can’t understand, and it’s better to just let them alone. There are good, moral people in rotten institutions. Morality often can’t keep up with progress until disaster strikes.

Sekiro: Having morals is good, but they shouldn’t interfere with love or common sense. Sometimes breaking the rules is the right thing to do, even if it means sacrificing comforts. It hurts to admit you’ve been manipulated, but it’s better than remaining manipulated.

Elden Ring: All leaders are people, thus all leaders are flawed, and anyone who says they’re perfect is lying. The ends do NOT justify the means. The cycle of violence is endless, and if you can’t stop it you should at least be aware of it.

[simp-ly-writes]

Boss & Bothered

Pairing: Boss!Spencer Agnew x assistant!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: Spencer is your boss to a degree and you spent a large majority of time by his side that you begin thinking things about your boss an employee really should not be considering...

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, boss/employee relationship, creepy man, harassment, protective!spencer, implied offscreen- VERY suggestive themes, kissing.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | WORDCOUNT: 2,708

─ · · A/N: thank you for the ask, anon! 🫶 and if you know me personally, out of all the things you read, please don't read this one, I went into a different world while writing this... hahaha erm...

─────── · ·

You had a crush on your boss. As the assistant to the Smosh Games channel you spent almost every moment by his side and there was not a single odd task you had not done; like running to the thrift store to get ten red shirts or to the corner store when the kickstarter and assorted energy drinks were out of stock in the kitchen.

You loved you job and truly loved working beside Spencer and you did not know at what point when those friendly stares and touches had become romanticized in your head. From him always opening the door for you or reminding you to take a break (or another one), he never once took all the extra work you did around the studio for granted and maybe that was a cause for the rose-tinted glasses.

Yet when he would bring your favourite coffee order in the morning even when you had said every time that that was your part of the job, he would just wave a hand in your face, assuring you before walking over to his desk- his schedule for the day already printed (and colour-coded, obvriously) so that the day would move smoothly.

Yet even when the day did not, Spencer never snapped or showed any anger towards you. Still being the caring and understanding boss you knew him to be, boss, you remind yourself. Yet you both acted past your positions, you had met his friends outside of work, went out for drinks with him at the end of a long day and even had dinner at his place one time (or maybe it was two times? three times? cant be more than four times?).

But that was just it right? You were both friendly co-workers. Or well, boss and worker but Spencer never held his position above your own, or at least not when it was important. He would pull the boss card as a joke every now and then off-camera that you feigned annoyance to much to the enjoyment of everyone else who loved his on-going joke around the office. A joke was all this is, just some lighthearted teasing when he puts a fleeting hand on my shoulder to ensure I know it is a joke.

But that all seemed to change when a developer from a gaming studio came in to demo the game alongside the cast. Spencer would be starring in this video, you sat behind camera, ready and waiting with his phone and can of kickstarter as you sorted through emails on your tablet, unknowing to the presence beside you.

"Hey, do you know where the director is? I have a tight schedule to be on since I... need... to... be..." his words slowed as the sentence progressed before falling off completely as the developer look at you. His mouth slightly agape before quickly fixing his hair and jaw. Looking up from your tablet, shutting it off quickly as to not give away company secrets, you presented a friendly smile to the individual. "Sorry, could you repeat your question please? I was a little bit tied up on these emails," you say, tapping your fingers against the metal device to exaggerate your point.

"Oh, um, haha, yeah, I was-a looking for the director. Do you know where he is, love?" you cringe automatically at the nickname, leaning slightly away in your chair as you look around the room quickly trying to find Alex Tran. You begin to cringe up your spine, contracting into yourself when the developer takes a half step closer to your chair, you can hear his breathing in your ear that has your smile twitching before you stand to present more space between the two of you.

"I don't see him here at the moment, we are also shooting another video the next studio over. I'm sure as soon as the cast is done there in..." you click on Spencers phone to see the time, "...in 10 minutes. Do you have everything you need to run the software or is there anything else I can get you in the meanwhile?" you ask politely, hands gripping your tablet as the man smiles.

"Alright, thats okay, that you for letting me know. I could really go for a coffee if its not a hassle? Maybe I could also add my number-" you take a big sigh out in relief once hearing the door to the studio open. Alex, Spencer, Courtney, Amanda and Trevor all filing in one by one. Your eyes meet Spencer's as he pauses his conversation with Trevor, eyebrow raised in question as you tip your head towards the developer that stands back by your side.

Spencer's brows furrow as he walks over to you, a smile plastering itself against his features as he steps in between the two of you, extending his hand as a physical barrier. "Hi, Tyler is it? I'm Spencer the head of this channel and Alex over there will be directing the video. Apologies for the delay, Trevor, Courtney, and Amanda were all finishing a shoot. I hope you understand?" Spencer clarifies, pointing at everyone he mentions, tone leaving no rude for argument.

"Yes, this lovely sir/miss, told me. I never got your name sweetheart-" Spencer coughs, his shoulders tense as he looks over his shoulder at you, "Could you go check in with Alex and see if he's doing alright? I can see the set up from here," Spencer pulls his boss tone at you for the first time without a joke or fault and all you can do is nod, pivot on your heel and walk towards Alex.

"Everything alright there, superstar?" Alex teases. Supserstar, that's what the Games department staff called you, seeing you run around like a shooting star while managing a thousand jobs in one with grace, simply put a superstar and you were gracious for the name as you nod at Alex. "Yeah, a lot better now, he was... very friendly." You choose your words carefully, knowing that the developers team is sponsoring todays video and fuelling your pay check.

"Mhmm," Alex hums out, carefully watching Spencer speak with the developer. The passive aggressive undertone is a surprise to everyone in the room from how friendly Spencer usually was. "Spencer really seems worked up, did something happen during the last shoot?" You ask, refusing to turn yourself back around before the cameras roll.

"No, he actually ended up successfully losing Don't Win Mario Kart but I think this is a more recent than that thing, what exactly did the guy say to you?"

"Oh, well he was... nice. Just like I said, a bit too friendly for me upon first meeting. Kept calling me pet names and stuff like that, didn't get handsy or anything, must be a cultural thing," you say before subconsciously taking a drink from the open Kickstarter can without a second thought. "Makes sense then," Alex shrugs before walking over to the filming crew as you follow behind and sit back in your chair. "What makes sense then?" you wish to clarify yet receive no answer except a presence by your side.

"Hey, you doing okay? I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier to help," Spencer comments, taking his phone and drink from your hands with a tight smile that does not seem to reach his eyes. "Yeah, thank you handling it. I didn't want to seem rude to him-" you begin to clarify to your boss who cuts you off. "You did nothing wrong, you did everything right. I sorted out the rest, THAT shouldn't happen again," Spencer points out strongly before taking a sip of Kickstart.

"Oh," is all you manage to get out before Alex calls the cast to their positions and you open your tablet again and move back to those emails only to find your mind drifting, cheeks warming at Spencers protective display...but any other boss would do that right? Protect their employees from clients... and what about what Alex said earlier too...

Your thoughts are a whirlwind as you mindlessly reply to email after email and fix everyones schedules before sending them out for tomorrow morning. The cameras are still rolling as you fix yourself in your chair, trying to become more comfortable for only a five minute break to be called and you are standing up in an instant to update Spencer on all the new information you received.

Spencer stands right beside you, leaning against your chair, can in between his hands and glasses slipping down his nose as he watches you intently rambling on and on about the tight schedule him and Alex had after this shoot to maintain while also taking a dinner break. Yet what caught you off guard was how comfortable you felt being so close to him, your arms touching every time you breathed, his gaze so trained onto you that it held you confused as to why you reacted to negatively to the man before. Slowly looking over to Alex who was already looking between the two of you with a knowing smile.

─────── · ·

Since then the dynamic had changed in the office, or at least between you and Spencer. You both were closer (if that was thought possible by the rest of the staff), so close in fact that you both were called into Ian, Anthonys, and HR's office that morning.

"Hey guys," Ian greeted, albeit a bt awkwardly as he looked between the two of you. Anthony offered a wave from behind the desk as well, it felt as is your parents were sitting you down for a talk, your cheeks painted pink as you looked at Spencer to only find support as he shrugged and leaned in saying, "Seems like we are the ones in trouble for once, what are we going to do superstar?"

And all you can do his shove him away playfully, refusing to look at Ian and Anthony as soon as papers came onto the table. "So... before we get started. You both have been doing amazing work, both together and a part but this is not a promotional meeting," Ian began before Anthony took over, they seemed to have rehearsed this...

"We are, as well as HR, who deemed that it might be easier to talk to us that you two are potentially seeing each other, and there is nothing wrong with that! We just need to know if you need to swap departments," Anthony says looking at you. You rapidly shake your head, laughing away the sweat that is building on your palms, rubbing them on your pant legs now refusing to look at Spencer, nervous that the crush you had been harbouring for some time now was being forced into the light.

Spencer also appeared to be refusing to look in your direction as well, stuck in a starring contest with Ian as the room laid in wait before Spencer spoke up, "We are not, formally, seeing one another, though I do enjoy spending time with them outside of work, as I hope they do too?'

"Yes, of course I do. I don't see you as my boss when we sit and eat out like that Spence," you mention to only received a raised brow that has your eyes widening at your word choice... should've just said outside of work, stupid, stupid, stupid.

Your cheeks have never burned so hard, your nails digging into your pant leg only for a hand to rest on top of them, easing you to relax. And by trailing your eye up to a tattooed arm that you would kill to colour in, you stop dead in your tracks at the hint of a smile on Spencers lips before you both are dismissed without signing a singular paper (or at least yet, you hope).

"Only at dinner, huh?" Spencer presses as soon as the door closes but you keep on walking in front of him as he jogs in front of you, causing you to pause in your steps. The cubicles are now all left empty as everyone has left for lunch, you two are the only ones in this way to large of a room, yet it does not seem large enough for the conversation you are about to unpack.

"... what do you want me to say, Spencer?" you press back, dodging the question successfully for a round as Spencer takes a step back, hands raising slightly from his sides. "I'm just curious where else I would be your boss outside of work if dinners are the only thing that counts..."

"Spencer!" you whisper shout, mind already going into the nooks and crannies you did your best to hide. You looked around but had not yet felt uncomfortable by the converssation, only the unbearable heat starting to crawl up your skin as his harm drapes itself over his forehead. His buttoned shirt sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and his signature leather boots creak as he shifts his weight. He seems as bothered as you are right now... as he cannot stand still....

"Oh... I see now," Spencer begins, his low tone has you moving closer to grasp onto his next words, your heart races, your brain a bit fuzzy but you don't feel nervousness or the least bit scared. In fact, you feel freer than ever in this moment, unloading what you desperately tried to hide for so long. "...where else do you hear my voice telling you what to do outside of work?" Spencer continues, keeping his tone even as you meet eyes catching a flickering of surface level genuine curiosity mixed with something, deeper, almost hidden...

You gasp, Spencer tilts his head, putting that little sound to memory as he waits for you to take the next step closer and you invite yourself to. You can feel the heat coming from his body, you both stand so close, you chests brushing up against one another, your breath hitching as he fixes his hair while staring at you. "Spencer..." your voice worries yet comes off as a whine, "What?" Spencer asks softly, still allowing you control that has you really questioning of going back inside that office and signing those damn papers.

"We can't do this right now, here in the office, please," you manage to get out behind your brain imagining every scenario where you press him up against a white wall and not kiss him all over to you both are breathless. "But outside?" Spencer asks once more, "Outside of dinner?" Spencer presses further as you only nod once, "yeah, outside," you confirm before taking a step back as he does the same, swallowing harshly and playing with his hair once more.

"Okay then," Spencer confirms.

"Okay then," you copy and for the remaining day in the office. You are sitting awkwardly in chairs, fingers aching to put your digital signature to the e-document as you keep sneaking glances at one another. It does not help when his phone buzzes in your lap that has you startling upright during the end of a shoot (thankfully).

The car ride back was even more tense, you both car-pooled often, living in the same building but watching him out of the corner of your eye as you changed the stick-shift, his arm, showing off his inner arm tattoos came to close to your hand, just teasing its way to your leg, you quickly parked, feeling that you were squirming in your chair, utterly restless.

─────── · ·

You both barely managed to get into the apartment and lock the door before your hands were on one another, breaths equally catching and being saved. Spencer groaned against your touch as you fell weak at the knees and fell back onto the couch where he met you and watching his cage you in, leaning in closer and closer, the documents lingered on your mind that had you presses your hands to his chest.

Spencer immediately stood up, "You doing alright, darling? Did I do something wrong?" your heart raced even more. "We, I- need to sign those papers right now before we continue..." you point between the two of you, intently looking up at his pink lips, "...this," you breathe out as Spencer sits down on the coffee table, feeling around for his phone as you both scramble to put your e-signatures on while also claiming sick leave... for you both would not be showing up tomorrow morning either once feeling his lips and the caress of his skin against your own.

─────── · ·

─ · · A/N: 😮‍💨 whew... umm... No Part 2's on this one! (sorry)

─ · · SPENCER AGNEW TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics @little-stitious-studios @thejourneyneverendsx @sibsteria @lizzylynch1 @babble2 @delaneyburghardt

[authorhjk1]

The Roman Goddess (part II)

Sana X Male Reader

The taxi ride to her hotel feels like it's taking hours. Her white top still shows hints of your last moment alone. Since then, the two of you met not a lot of people. Only a couple of oblivious visitors and the taxi driver.

The later was staring at her for a couple of moments as the two of you got in. It wasn't your place to say something, she is married after all. But you can't really blame him.

Even after you just had her kneeling half naked in front of you, you still glance at her every two seconds.

You still feel like you are dreaming. How you managed to pull it off still remains a mystery to you. Or maybe she was looking for someone anyway? And you were just the first guy to hit on her?

Maybe. And even if that's the case, you don't really care. As long as she is taking you to her hotel room, you don't care why she is doing this.

"What's your name by the way?"

The taxi driver's radio is too loud for him to understand what the two of you are saying. Italian words echo through the car.

The young woman raises an eyebrow.

"Now you are curious? After you came on me?"

You feel your cheeks heating up, but you see how the left corner of her mouth moves upwards a little.

"Y-You asked me to."

She tilts her head as if she is trying to recall the scene in the museum.

"You sound like I forced you to do that."

Somehow she did. Or at least her body. Who wouldn't want to cum on her chest? Especially if she says she wants it?

"So?"

You brake the silence after a couple of moments. Although it's anything but quiet in the car. As far as you can tell, the driver is listening to a soccer game.

"I'm not sure if I should tell you."

"I just came on your chest. Shouldn't you trust me by now?"

You see her smirking, intrigued by the way you used her words against her.

"I won't tell you my name. Just in case."

She finally turns her head towards you, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

"Just call me Venus."

"Venus?"

You can't help but chuckle.

"Didn't we already establish that you are like Aphrodite?"

'Venus' shrugs her shoulders. An elegant gesture coming from her.

"You said that Venus was more important."

You nod quietly.

You feel out of place. You've never been to such a hotel before. Everything looks expensive. The white marble floor, the cedar wooden reception desk, the golden elevator doors with pretty engravings.

The lobby just looks insane to you. But Venus just walks through the big hall, her head raised high, her confident stride makes her heels klick on the floor.

Trailing behind her, you see how well dressed everyone is. It's not like your outfit sucks, a simple white shirt and jeans, but the other guests are wearing suits and dresses.

"Mrs. Minatozaki."

The receptionist greets her, handing her the key for her room. Her name sounds Japanese.

"And this is a package that just arrived. It's for you."

"Thank you."

Venus, or Mrs. Minatozaki, takes the small box and walks towards the elevator. You follow her, trying not to draw too much attention to yourself.

As soon as she throws the package on the bed, she turns around. You tried to see what her room looked like, or rather suite, but her intense gaze makes you focus on her.

"Come here."

She whispers, slinging her arms around your neck. You lean down, meeting her halfway as the two of you start to indulge into each other's lips.

You realize that your hands once again are exploring her body. As if you can't get enough. Her curves feel so good underneath the fabric.

"Fuck, your lips taste so good,-"

You catch her pause.

"I need a name for you too."

Her lips leave yours, before they kiss your cheek, moving towards your neck.

"Any suggestions? It should fit mine."

It's hard to concentrate, when you have a woman like Venus kissing your neck. Impossible even. But you luckily know your way around Roman mythology.

"Mars."

You feel one of her hands slide down your back.

"Mars fits the theme."

"And who is that?"

You don't know if she is pretending or not, but you feel her hand reaching your crotch. Yours are on her waist. Still amazed by how small it is, you try your best to explain.

"The Roman god of war. And agriculture."

You feel her chuckle into your neck.

"That's an interesting combination."

"Well,.. "

You can't stop it. Your history nerd side comes back to life. Despite the fact that Venus is slowly letting her fingers glide over your jeans.

"That combination is a characteristic of early Rome. Military and farming both have their peak during the summer. It makes sense to me."

You feel her bite you skin slightly.

"Are you gonna keep talking? Or do you want to fuck?"

"T-The second one."

"Me too. Mars."

She whispers, before backing away.

It feels weird to be called by a name of a god.

"Give me just a minute."

Venus takes the package and disappears into the bathroom.

Standing alone, you are not quite sure what to do. Take your clothes off? Stand in place? Get on the bed?

Your eyes roam the big room as you realize how much this must cost. Hundreds. Maybe even a thousand a night or something.

Even the bed looks like the best you've ever seen. It's almost three times as big as yours. Golden ornaments are decorating its wooden bed frame.

You decide to get rid off your clothes. A moment later you are lying on the soft mattress, only in your underwear. Then, the door opens. You feel your jaw dropping in amazement.

Venus leans against the white doorframe.

Her black lace bra shows her porcelain like skin underneath. Her tits look a little bigger than before. Her panties match her bra. Black lace. It shows of how small her waist is. Her toned stomach really makes her look like a goddess. The black straps that connect her stockings with her panties each have a golden ring in the middle. The heels she is wearing complete her all black outfit

"I see you like it?"

You look down at your crotch. That's a very clear yes.

Watching her walk over to you almost makes you drool. Her hips sway from left to right, her hair, now lose, follows the same rhythm.

"I don't even remember the last time my pussy was filled."

She crashes down on you, not giving you time to react, when she reaches the bed. Landing on top of you, you feel her center rub against yours. Her hands in your hair. Her lips on yours once again.

The two of you exchange a passionate kiss, her hands slowly going through your hair. Yours are traveling down her back, until they reach their destination. You squeeze her cheeks, making Venus moan into your mouth.

"Naughty boy."

She coos, before she slides down your body. Her tits graze your covered crotch in the process. Once her face is on the right hight, she pulls your boxers off.

"I've already missed this so much."

She sighs, before diving in. Without a word of warning, you feel how Venus swallows your cock. Her warm mouth makes you groan as you sink into the cushions.

Reaching down, you hold her hair back as her head bobs up and down. Her blowjob is messy. Her saliva is starting to get everywhere. Your cock, your balls, your thighs, the mattress.

The only thing you can do is watch. Her eyes lock onto yours, trying to stare into your soul.

"Fuck."

You groan, unable to withstand her attack.

"So delicious."

She murmurs as she let's her tongue dance along your shaft, before taking you back into her mouth.

You can feel how impatient she is. Her blowjob is gaining in pace, her hands moving along your thighs. She starts to fuck her face onto your cock.

With a load groan, you almost cum right there. She pulls away early enough. Your disappointment is quickly replaced by heart pounding excitement.

"Eat me, please."

She gets on her knees, pulling her panties to the side. The mouth watering view almost gives you goosebumps. Her folds are wet, her pussy cleanly shaven.

You pull her hips towards you, making Venus sit on your face. Her pussy tastes even better than it looks. You can't get enough after only one lick. Her hands are in your hair again, forcing you to bury yourself even deeper into her core.

"Yes, baby."

She sighs, her head rolling back. Your pace quickens as you insert a finger into her wet core, while you lick her clit. Her velvet walls clench around you, dying for any friction at all.

"More. More!"

Her moans become louder, her whines needier.

At one point, she starts to ride your face. Your finger is still inside of her, egging her on.

"So close. The museum made me so wet."

You can feel her orgasm slowly approaching. Her pussy clenches around your finger even harder.

"Fuck!"

She almost shouts as she cums on your face.

Her sweet nectar tastes like peaches as you are forced to drink it, her hands keeping you in place.

"That was so good."

She sighs, her body visibly relaxing on top of you.

"I don't even remember the last time..."

She trails off, glancing down at you.

"I need you inside of me, Mars. Fuck me hard."

You tighten the grip on her waist, suddenly sitting up. It makes her fall off you and she lands on her back. You are now kneeling in front of her wet core, your cock grazing her folds.

"Give it to me."

She watches with a satisfied look on her face as you start to penetrate her pussy. Her tightness makes it hard to fit all of your cock inside of her in one go. You have to slowly ease in and out a couple of times, until you finally bottom out.

"Fuck, you are big."

She sighs as she feels how you fill her. Her pussy hugs your cock as tight as it can.

Her hands grab the sheets as you start to fuck Venus. Her body rocks back and forth on the mattress. Your hands are placed on her hips as you enjoy her pussy. It almost feels like she is made for you.

"More!"

Her head sinks into the sheets as you start to fuck her harder. Her legs wrap around you, trapping you, not allowing you to go anywhere but deeper. Not that you mind. If you could only stay inside of her forever...

Your body moves on its own, driven by your carnal desires. Every thrust makes her breasts jiggle slightly, despite the fact that they are still secure inside her bra. Her eyes are staring up at you, tracing the drops of sweat that form on your forehead, before they fall onto your chest or her tummy.

"Gosh, your cock..."

You see how her eyes become smaller, until they finally close. Her mouth is slightly open, moan after moan escaping her pretty lips.

"How are you so tight?"

You can't help but wonder. How is she this perfect? That face of hers would already be enough for every man to fall for her. But her body turns you into a slave to your animalistic instincts. And her pussy.. You can't describe it with words.

It feels like you are in paradise. And at the same time, you feel something like guilt. You shouldn't be doing this. You shouldn't be fucking her. She is a married woman. And yet, that fact somehow turns you on even more.

Venus should be off limits to you. Because she is way out of your league. And because she is married. But here you are. Fucking her, while she whines and mewls, asking you to go faster.

For a moment, you wonder if she is alone in Rome. Or is her husband with her? You haven't thought about this possibility yet. That he and her might have spent the night right here. In this bed. In the bed you are fucking his wife on.

"Fuck!"

Her loud moan brings you back to reality.

"I need it rougher! More!"

It's starting to feel like she just can't get enough.

You start to slow down, wanting to try another position. Maybe you can fuck her even deeper that way.

"Get up and turn around."

Venus seems to like the idea. She gets on all fours her ass facing you.

"Put it back in."

She smiles as she looks over her shoulder.

You let your hands run along her beautifully shaped cheeks. You knead them a couple of times, before you aling yourself with her wet cavern once again.

"Fuck me hard."

It's a mixture of plea and command.

Venus moans when you thrust forward, impaling her with your cock.

"Oh god!"

You lean over her, grabbing both of her arms. Pulling them back, you make her kneel. Only your hands on her arms keep her upright.

Fucking her from behind feels better than missionary. You are able to penetrate her deeper. You are able to rock her body back and forth properly. And you can really pull her onto your cock.

But as you keep pounding into her, her hair starts to fall, swinging from left to right. It hits her face, whenever you pull at her arms and thrust into her. She has to close her mouth, letting out needy whimpers. But she can't hold it in for very long. And soon, she has some of her own hair in her mouth as she moans for more.

The only downside is, you can't see her face. Her gorgeous features must be twisted in pleasure, but you are missing out on seeing them. Her hair starts to have a life on its own as the pace and force of your thursts increase. It starts to cover parts of her face, while most of it is still resting against her back.

You focus on the rhythm of your thrusts as you feel how deep you are inside of her. It feels like her pussy is getting better and better by the second. Your own pleasure increases, the harder you fuck her.

"Fuck!"

Venus suddenly cums around your cock. You missed the fact that she has been dead silent for the last couple of moments. Now, she is letting it all out again. Lewd words spill from her lips, just like her juices spill out of her pussy. She starts to stain the sheets underneath, almost slipping because of her own liquids.

Her orgasm overwhelms you, bringing you closer towards your own edge. You have been holding on for now, but the sight of Venus cuming right in front of you eventually proves too much.

You feel how you are growing tired, her pussy contracting around you with every thrust into it.

"I think I'm gonna cum!"

You groan, trying to warn Venus.

"Paint me! Stain me with your cum!"

She mewls as she feels you picking up the pace one last time. Her hair is still in her face, but she is unable to put it back. Her arms still behind her.

"Fuck."

You sigh as you finally pull out. You let go of her arms, letting Venus fall face first into the mattress. You hold your cock in your hand as you start to climax. Your cum hits her back. Rope after rope starts to stain her skin. Just like she wanted. Some of it gets onto the bra wire, the white globes visible on the black fabric.

"Fuck, I needed that."

You hear her mumble into the sheets, her voice muffled by the white cotton.

You still can't fully grasp what you just did. As soon as she came out of the bathroom it felt like someone else was controlling your body. It felt incredible nonetheless.

As you see Venus lying on her stomach in front of you, your cum on her back, you wonder what else there is to do. There is so much. There is so much the two of you could do. You whish you could explore even more of her body. To feel every inch of her skin.

When Venus finally turns her head to look up at you, you see her smile. Her eyes tell you that she is thinking the same thing.

"How do you want to fuck me next?"

[utilitycaster]

I like that the Raven Queen, who made the decision to take on an immense and (at least to her understanding at the time) unending responsibility is the one who calls Bells Hells out on their endless indecision.

It's been...interesting, shall we say, tracking this "party of NPCs," and tracking the fandom response throughout. The initial reception to "party of NPCs" was actually a rather cold one. This took place early in the campaign, prior to the Gnarlrock fight, and at the time a lot of people who shipped Imogen and Laudna were actually extremely resistant to the idea that Imogen was the "main character" of the campaign (as seen in the fallout from the gnarlrock fight, in which the bulk of attacks from the fandom were on Imogen). I've had complicated feelings on Taliesin's reads of this campaign specifically - he tends to have a very good understanding of his own characters that doesn't necessarily expand beyond them - but that phrase was indeed pretty valid. I think about the WBN interludes, in fact, in which the cast plays using NPC statblocks, and what a true party of NPCs for Bells Hells would look like, since it would be quite simple to draw up.

Allied NPCs in TTRPGs rarely act without guidance from the PCs. I've cast a critical eye in the past towards certain meta (particularly romantic in nature, regarding Yeza or Essek or Gilmore not making moves) for this reason, because while villains and antagonists move throughout the world generating obstacles, allies exist to be directed. They have their limits, of course; they have their own priorities and motivations and cannot be persuaded against their nature, but they can be guided at oblique angles from the GMs initial intent given enough work from the PCs. They're still people with thoughts and feelings and dreams, to an extent, but rarely do they make decisions that would conflict with those of the PCs.

That's the problem with a party of NPCs. NPCs take direction. They serve as support, but they're not in the driver's seat. And the Raven Queen has noticed.

The attitude within the fandom towards "Party of NPCs" became far more positive over time, and I wonder if it should have. People began to lean perhaps too heavily on how Bells Hells were people from nothing and nowhere, discarded. This is of course objectively false when comparing across parties (can we really say Imogen had a worse childhood than Vex? Chetney to Caleb? Even Ashton to Fjord?) but were it true, that in and of itself wouldn't be a problem. D&D backstories are often tear-stained and blood-soaked, full of unjust accusations, dead or neglectful parents, failure and regret. D&D is a game about coming from very little but a disproportionately good stat block for a commoner. It is unavoidably about amassing power. Starting off as a party of NPCs is fine. You should not still be a party of NPCs at the endgame.

I mentioned the gnarlrock, and I've mentioned an emphasis (or overemphasis) on this party's lack of agency and I think that remains the problem. Ludinus's villainy is rich, complex, and multifaceted, but a consistent element of it is his eternal false insistence that he - Martinet, founder and head of the Cerberus Assembly, Archmage - is just a little guy, chaff in the wind of the will of the gods, without free will of his own (he says, as he places his thread outside the reach of the Matron). That too is a theme in fandom discourse: free will and intent. Is Imogen justified in being angry at Laudna for breaking the rock if that wasn't Laudna's intent? (yes.) Is Orym on a quest of vengeance, with a death wish? (no, but if he were it wouldn't matter.) Was it wrong to pressure Fearne to take the shard instead of letting her make her own choices? (yes.)

Did any of you, perhaps in preschool or kindergarten, since that's about the age when this happens, have someone pull your hair and for adults to say "it's because they like you?" I find this is a good way to convey the importance, or unimportance, or intent. Because when your hair is being pulled, at least if that is the extent of the problem, it doesn't matter if it comes from the misguided affections of a four-year-old admirer who doesn't know how to use their words, or a six-year-old who just grabbed the most obvious material with which to test the limits of the safety scissors, or an eleven-year-old bully. Your hair is being pulled and you want it to stop. It doesn't matter if the person secretly likes you or if they want to hurt you; it matters that no matter the intent behind it, they are doing so. And if you reject the affections of your fellow preschool classmate because you think they might pull your hair, that's a fair consequence.

Bells Hells' indecision is some sort of cosmic hair pulling. They have reasons for faltering, and some of those reasons are understandable balking at an immense weight placed upon them and some of those reasons come from a deeply self-centered place in which their individual pain is used to blot out the suffering of countless others. But in the end, even that doesn't matter. Their histories don't matter. We don't need another series of introductions of where they come from and what they've done. We need people who can make decisions and who will act.

The Raven Queen seems to have been convinced they will. I'm not sure. But I think we are in agreement that inaction is, regardless of the intent behind it, no different than active harm. It would be irresponsible to continue to be a party of NPCs; if they truly are lost and forgotten fuck-ups, they have a responsibility (as the god of death once did) to abdicate and find a replacement.

[thesweetnessofspring]

Mutual you know I love you and respect your opinions but I just CANNOT get behind you hating on Katniss being related to the covey 😭 what did she do to you????❗️

Look I totally get not wanting everything to be interconnected and like "fate" and stuff because part of the value of THG is that there's no chosen one. So like I understand and appreciate and enjoy that reading of it

But I don't think Katniss being covey ruins that? I think it's more to show the same group of people being routinely oppressed over and over again. Not to mention 12 is a small district, so I guess it just doesn't bother me so much. But I'd love to hear more of your opinion

I don't like it because:

There are NO INDICATIONS of Katniss being Covey from the original trilogy. Maude Ivory and Katniss both being quick to learn new music was put in during TBOSAS, but other than the songs, there is no other definite evidence of the Covey even existing. And because Katniss seemingly knows nothing about the Covey, I genuinely hate the idea that a Covey-Mr. Everdeen never shared his culture with her, other than songs, which don't necessarily have to be limited to the Covey's culture anyway. And before anyone mentions the lake or woods, TBOSAS says other people went there too, Francis is the one who made the movie say only the Covey knew about it but that's not canon. There is a fiddle player from 12 in MJ, so if he were Covey, where are Mr. Everdeen's instruments? Where is a hint of a Covey name for Katniss or Prim (like maybe just a ballad or just a color, something inconspicuous but important)? I can accept a culture being snuffed out/going way underground in 12 without Katniss knowing about it and thus we only get the smallest clues about its existence, but I can't accept that her father was part of that culture and didn't share it with his kids or even leave any clear indication it was part of him. Especially when he works such a dangerous job and his death could mean all memory and knowledge of his people might disappear. And I mean, he was willing to sing The Hanging Tree so it's not like he wasn't willing to risk giving his children forbidden knowledge.

As you mentioned, the whole "fate" thing. Lucy Gray was rigged to be reaped, but Prim was random chance. It shows you can do everything "right" (i.e. not be made a target by the Capitol, not take out tessarae, be the youngest age with the least amount of slips) and random odds don't care. You can be reaped. I see Katniss being Covey making the "it was rigged for Prim to be reaped" theories happen all over again, like Snow knew and wanted to kill off the Everdeen line. Now, in TUC, Suzanne plays with the idea of if something is fate or our own choices, so I can see a similar theme play out in the background here if a reader chooses to explore it. Was there some kind of fate that Lucy Gray used to bring about Katniss and Peeta going into the Games together? But I don't like the idea of it being a bloodline thing. I'd rather it be from Katniss's merit, like Lucy Gray's ghost observed her in the woods and chose her to be the Mockingjay and knew that Peeta would be the one to get her there as he is Snow's foil.

A non-Covey Katniss still shows that the same people are oppressed over and over. D12 is as a whole, even the merchants, though they certainly benefit from certain privileges those in the Seam don't have. But Katniss, who is Seam, is incredibly oppressed as well, as have the generations before her. And again, saying that Prim being reaped and Katniss going into the Games shows that one group (the Covey) is a more oppressed group supports the "Prim's reaping was rigged" theory that is such bullshit.

I don't see anything being gained in terms of the themes. Katniss may be a "chosen one" in a sense, but she was a girl who loved her sister, and Rue, and Peeta, and got caught up in being the Mockingjay. Making her Covey turns her into a traditional "chosen one" and it just does not jive with the theme of THG or Katniss's character at all. If the Capitol is built on the same 15 families having power, then why would that be replicated in the rebellion with the Covey being the "chosen ones" to bring down Snow? As if because Lucy Gray was betrayed by Coriolanus, those of her people are the ones who must take him down as well. Not because Katniss and the districts have been oppressed and so it's something she feels bound to do as a duty to the people, as she realizes in MJ. Katniss was used by some of those powerful families, but she wasn't powerful in that way. Making her Covey gives her extra mythology that goes against this idea and makes her "special" even if she wasn't special until that Reaping Day.

The fact that the district is small is why I'm not bothered by Haymitch and Mrs. Everdeen having some kind of history (it's there in CF, so it is an original part of the story) or even if Mr. Everdeen makes an appearance! I'm from a big city but it's wild hearing how some of the older generations in my circle are connected and now that I'm an adult, knowing about the relationships and drama that happened to my older siblings' cohort (especially as their kids are now becoming teens and learning some of that history). Life does connect in interesting ways! My personal favorite theory is that Mr. Everdeen hung around the Covey and learned music from them (maybe Haymitch was even a little intimidated thinking Lenore Dove would prefer Mr. Everdeen to him?) but making Mr. Everdeen's connection a family connection (blood or adopted) really sinks the themes of the original and Katniss's role.

[cripplecharacters]

hello! feel free to ignore me if this is slightly outside the boundaries of this account, but i'm a tabletop roleplaying game (ttrpg) designer looking for opinions on mechanics for disability in games.

my game specifically covers a lot of themes that, while not about disability, would make me feel remiss to not include some explicit mention of how physically/mentally disabled characters fit into the greater picture of the game. it has a specific focus on telling stories of diverse characters, for one, and on fighting the unfair capitalist systems that harm these marginalized groups.

my issue lies in how, exactly, to both treat this topic respectfully and make the characters not feel out of place or unbalanced. i've considered several options, and was curious to hear from a physically disabled perspective how to proceed (i am mentally ill & neurodivergent, but to my knowledge not physically disabled).

option one: mention that disabled characters of all kinds are encouraged, and talk about roleplaying them or provide resources for how to handle them respectfully, but don't apply any specific rules with hard mechanics or numbers to them. this option is least likely to be inadvertently misconstrued or written poorly on my part, but may make disability feel like a "flavour" side note.

option two: provide examples for some common disabilities on the mechanical effects (such as a low vision character rolling less dice on rolls to notice visual details) without any "counteracting" mechanics. this one gives mechanical weight to disability, so it feels less like an afterthought, but may discourage people from playing disabled characters as they would be more likely to fail than other characters.

option three: the above, but with mechanical incentives for roleplaying in a way that acknowledges the character's disability. a "benefit", but less "giving a blind character echolocation" and more "gain XP for showing your characters disability and any aids they use" (similar mechanics exist for following your character's goals/personality traits). this would make disabled characters be more on par mechanically with other characters, but i fear it may come across as... viewing disabled characters as not worth it without some sort of benefit, i suppose?

apologies for the long rambling message, but i'd love to hear which of these options (or another suggestion) you'd be happiest to see in a game written by someone who isn't physically disabled! this is far from the focus of my game, but it's still an important part of the greater theme that i'd love to be able to get right. thanks! (similarly, if there are any groups not covered in the "underrepresented but common disabilities" post from your FAQ that you'd want to see in a game, i'd also be happy to hear those!)

Hello!

First things first, thank you so much for thinking about this! This isn't something that most TTRGs consider and, as a massive nerd who plays DND, Pathfinder, and other tabletop games, this has always been a big pet peeve of mine since making a disabled character is always unnecessarily hard to do with the game mechanics and rarely works out well.

Most of the time, I have to talk to my GM about how to make it work in their game and, unfortunately, I'm often told they won't allow it because it's "too much trouble".

This is all just to say, I really love the idea here and the fact that you're actually thinking about these things and wanting to do well by them is great!

Now, taking a look at the options:

Option One

One of the unfortunate things that I see a lot is people that are too scared to get something wrong with representation (Or social justice on a broader scale) that they don't try to do it at all. With this current era of cancel culture and people's reactions to what they deem 'offensive', it's understandable to be a bit apprehensive but if you're approaching the subject from a place of respect and you're receptive to learning and improving, most people will appreciate the effort.

While this option does sidestep the main issue you've identified, I do think it sidesteps the attempt at making disability part of your game as well. You can encourage people to make disabled characters all you want but without any real content for them in the game, it won't do much.

If you do go with this option, I'd strongly suggest including some information on the culture of your world and how it relates to disability, both to provide more substance to the content and to give players a bit to go off of when making a disabled character.

Option Two

I like this option much more than the first one, though I do agree that it may discourage people from choosing to play a disabled character.

Within the game mechanics, I think it makes a lot of sense to have these kinds of effects but I would encourage you to include more variety with it. Disability isn't 'one size fits all' and two disabled people can have different needs, strengths, and experiences -- even if they have the exact same disability. Instead, I'd suggest going for a slightly different model that includes more choices.

For example, a character with low vision may:

- Roll lower on perception checks involving vision

or

- Have disadvantage with ranged weapons/attacks

or

- Have lower rolls/less success in dim lighting

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Having more options for how the character's disability affects them allows players to make a choice for how they want to play the character while also encouraging them to think more about how their character's disability might affect them and impact their life.

The examples given are all reflections of how blindness can affect somebody. Blind spots or blurry vision can make it more difficult to notice certain visual changes, severe nearsightedness can make it difficult to aim/focus on things that are far away, night blindness can make it difficult to see in the dark or in dim lighting, etc. That being said, there are dozens of other ways to go about this (Though I'd advise sticking to five options per disability at most to avoid overwhelming people).

Option Three

Personally, I like this one and the second option the most. Although I understand where your concerns are coming from, it feels less like it's implying that disabled characters have to be 'worth it' and more like it's just balancing it out.

Like with the second option, I'd suggest going for more of a choice model here where the player can pick what 'benefit' (For lack of better word) that their character has -- or even to choose no benefit at all.

Many physically disabled people develop our own skills or tools to compensate for where we struggle, whether this is an intentional decision or just something that happens.

For example, my boyfriend is paralyzed from the waist down and uses a wheelchair full time. As a result, he has kick-ass upper body strength from it.

Similarly, many deaf and hard of hearing people are more observant when it comes to visual cues and many blind people are more sensitive to other senses (Though, of course, the whole 'super senses' thing is a myth).

While this isn't true of all disabilities or all disabled people in general, it is something worth considering.

That being said, if you do decide to implement this option, make sure that the benefit makes sense for the disability or is related in some way and isn't just something random being tacked on -- that would make it seem more like a 'disabled characters need to be worthwhile' thing.

As a few extra notes:

If you go with the second or third option, I'd suggest separating the different stat effects into different types of disabilities. You don't need to go too into specifics with it but something like 'low vision/blindness/vision loss', 'deafness/hearing loss', 'limited mobility', and 'chronic illness' would work. While disabilities are more nuanced than this in real life, setting it up this way would keep it pretty simple and allow players to tweak the mechanics slightly for their own characters.

If you go with the first option, I'd probably avoid discussing how to roleplay disabled characters. Because roleplay and character development is much more open than stats and game mechanics are, showing one or two 'proper' ways to play a disabled character is more likely to reinforce stereotypes, dismiss certain experiences that disabled people have, or just come across as more of a 'lecture' than anything. The same goes for including information on what to avoid. I'd stick to providing information about your world and how disabilities are seen in them instead of giving instructions here.

I'd suggest including ways for players to bypass the mechanics of disability if they'd like to, even if their character is disabled. That would allow for a bit more freedom with how they portray their character and would also ensure that they aren't being 'penalized' (For lack of a better term) with their stats for playing a disabled character. As a bit of an example of what I mean: A character in DND could have been a criminal growing up without necessarily taking the Criminal/Spy background.

In general, I think as long as you're approaching this respectfully (Which you are!) and reaching out to physically disabled people for their input (Which you are!), you don't have to worry too much about misrepresenting it.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[kradogsrats]

Revisiting the Arc 2 Opening

So particularly @raayllum had done some detailed analysis and predictions based on the comparison of Viren and Callum's variant arc 2 openings, but I want to return in the post-s6 space now that we have Claudia's opening as a third point of comparison because that addition has an impact on how the original two relate to one another and what each one is saying.

The basic sequence of each opening is the same: from the initial star-map zoom (associated with destiny/time-blind vision of future events) the camera circles the principal character, placed at the celestial Sea of the Castout, as they turn to stone. Aaravos's giant hand swoops down and plucks up the statue, now contextualized by size as a pawn or other game piece, to admire from within his prison with a satisfied smile.

The most important point to understand about this sequence is that Aaravos doesn't personally turn Viren, Callum, and Claudia to stone, but is able to capture and manipulate them as pawns because of it:

This doesn't seem like much of a distinction at all, particularly because the petrification that results in Aaravos's satisfied claim on each mage is a representation of dark magic, which is... what allows Aaravos to influence/control those who resort to using it.

We get the direct link between the heart, dark magic, and Aaravos's influence/control explicitly spelled out by s6, and (as many noticed before)... go figure, in all three openings the corruption petrification begins at the heart.

Now, Callum is actually the only one who knows explicitly about the connection between dark magic and influence/control by Aaravos. Viren has sort of intuited it by the end of s5, in that we can see by portions of his dream that he's aware on at least a subconscious level that he was not in his right mind during at least the latter half of s3. This is why the distinction between the petrification being a factor allowing Aaravos's control, rather than an effect of it, is important—the conflicts and dynamics being represented are more complex than that. For example: Viren's opening, it turns out, isn't about Aaravos at all.

That's a Reach

When the primary arc 2 opening, featuring Viren, was revealed as part of the lead-up to the s4 release, there was a decent amount of speculation as to what it meant—the connection with Avizandum's death was recognized immediately, but what did that signify? Would there be further-reaching direct consequences of Viren's involvement and the archdragon-killing spell? Would Avizandum himself somehow have expanded significance? What is Viren reaching for: Aaravos, redemption, another chance at life?

Mostly, it set the tone for s4 and arc 2 in general, particularly regarding Viren's character arc, with strong mood and themes of helplessness, the past, regret and consequences, cyclic harm, and (of course) death. Not even to mention the looming presence of Aaravos and his relationship with Viren as his pawn. It was a vibe.

It wasn't until after s5 and/or s6 that the opening came into full context: Avizandum, in his final moments, turns his back on the battle with Harrow—the cycle of violence that he, himself, has contributed to perpetuating—and reaches for the child he will now be unable to protect from that violence.

Viren, as it turns out, does the exact same, as we see explicitly in s5 and continued implicitly in s6. Like Avizandum, he reaches for his children, unable to save them from the damage he has already done—all of it through dark magic.

On its own, it's an elegant implementation of the parallels TDP is so fond of to demonstrate that both sides of this long-time conflict have inflicted harm on each other and themselves in very similar ways for generations. Even at the time of s4, however, we had Callum's opening obviously derived from Viren's, and after s6 we have Claudia's, as well—both of which come with their own context that builds off of Viren's in different ways.

Lost Child

So while Viren's opening actually has very little to do with Aaravos (prior to Aaravos's actual appearance grasping him as a literal pawn), Claudia's (and Callum's, which we'll come back to in a bit) is difficult to interpret as not being related to her personal dynamic with Aaravos.

Interestingly, Claudia's opening places her at a very specific point in time, since it's visibly between two major physical changes to her body/appearance—her lower leg is missing, severed by Rayla in the Sea of the Castout at the end of s5, but she still has her long hair from before prompting Terry to cut it off for her early in s6. Even more specifically, she has the half-and-half split of black and white hair, which is already majority-white in s6e1:

This is Claudia in a moment we don't see on-screen—when, having failed to collect Aaravos's prison and not knowing that Viren has been offered and rejected the Infantis Sanguine spell, she turns to Aaravos in the dark of night and is willing to do anything to save her father.

I could do a whole thing here about the nature of Claudia's perception of Aaravos as both a paternal and divine figure, but the relevant part is that her only association between dark magic and Aaravos is a positive one—as far as she's concerned, Aaravos gave humanity dark magic as a benevolent gift, and her main reason (at least that she's willing to voice) for hesitating to give it up is that Aaravos kept his promises to her and it would be right to keep her promise to free him. In her opening, she goes from pained and defeated to looking upward with total trust and hope—looking to Aaravos the way she would have looked to Viren.

Her petrification shares the single tear with Viren and Avizandum, really cementing her place as another loop in the cycle of harm between humanity and Xadia that has dark magic at its heart. That callback to Viren's opening also puts hers in dialogue with him as much as with Aaravos, placing her in the same position as he is in a reflection of his horror and dismay that she has followed his path and example so closely.

Given that Claudia dramatically changes appearance (and, to an extent, attitude) immediately after this opening is introduced, it's possible that we'll see a different variant for s7... but given the end of s6, she actually hasn't really changed all that much. She has doubts about how to proceed with her life after Viren leaves, but as soon as Aaravos re-enters the picture, her conviction is back. She may not have done any dark magic after s6e1, but I don't think that's because she's decided to give it up.

Key Framing

Given the context of Claudia's opening, Callum's opening becomes unusual because it references Viren's without tying back to Avizandum and that cycle of harm. It's still on some level about dark magic, but Callum's relationship with dark magic isn't tied up in family and inheritance like Claudia's and Viren's are—instead it's focused entirely on fate vs. freedom, and on Aaravos specifically.

Callum's opening appears only for s4e4 ("Through the Looking Glass"), where he is possessed by Aaravos and it is established that his single use of dark magic is what allows that control, and for s5e8 ("Finnegrin's Wake") when he uses dark magic a second time. The shared opening puts those two episodes in obvious dialogue with each other, since s5e8 never makes explicit that the danger of dark magic for Callum is control by Aaravos—something he has already asked Rayla to end his life in order to avoid.

The focus in Callum's opening, both by its visual prominence and Callum's own gaze directed at it, is the Key. While Viren and Claudia's petrifications end the way Avizandum's does—with the single tear—Callum's ends with the Key in a blaze of light.

I expect we will see Callum's opening return for s7, possibly even as a primary opening, but it will almost certainly be recontextualized at some point and possibly even changed to a variant that reflects that new context. The Key is an element that will contribute to Callum's doom or salvation—or both, as a key can both lock and unlock—and its prominence in his opening reflects that and will likely be informed by how that resolution develops.

All of Us, Stardust

Speaking of alterations to the openings:

The final, altered version of the Viren opening kicks off s6, acting as a last, fun little extension of the "is Viren dead?" cliffhanger of s5. Aaravos's hand reaches down as usual, but instead of firmly grasping the petrified Viren, he very briefly hesitates before pushing it slightly, instead. The petrified Viren then crumbles and collapses into dust.

We first saw (or rather, had described to us via frantic convention attendee note-taking) this opening at the first reveal of s6e1, which was originally shown without any of the scenes revealing Viren to be alive. There are a lot of ways it could be interpreted, from a straightforward "he'd dead, Jim," to my own kind of fanciful theory from the time regarding Viren, dead or alive, having been made unusable by Aaravos as a pawn.

One way to contextualize this opening is with this old illustration from Patience, which ties in closely with the Aaravos chess/pawns motif (and was a significant part of contextualizing the arc 2 opening as "pawns"):

Now, there are a lot of things about this image that are important, not least the confirmation/reinforcement of the chain of manipulation of dark mages by Aaravos across thousands of years from Ziard to Viren, with the implication of Callum in the future. What I'd like to call attention to is that in chess, tipping over a piece is a gesture specifically used only with the king, and specifically to indicate that you are resigning the game and the opponent is victorious.

I don't think there's anywhere we've seen Aaravos truly lose, except for possibly when he was imprisoned, because his plans have levels of redundancy that mean they don't depend on any given individual—a game of chess hinges on the king, but Aaravos is essentially playing six or eight interconnected games at once, and a loss on one board only reinforces his remaining pieces on another. Losing Viren, deliberately or not, empowers his influence over Claudia... exactly as we see in the sequence of arc 2 openings. It would be difficult for them to have replicated the tipped-over/toppled king imagery with the petrified Viren without having to do some labor-intensive camera work on the existing opening pattern (e.g. do they show the ground when he falls? What even is the ground?)—so I think there's a strong likelihood that him crumbling to dust is meant to have a similar resonance.

Anyway, I'm kind of dancing around some complex theorizing and analysis of Viren's death that I go back and forth on depending on the day, but basically I do still think the important takeaway from this opening variant is that as far as Aaravos is concerned, Viren is off the board. That it's the opening for s6e1, rather than a special use for s6e8 (as Callum's variant openings are handled) is also IMO a positive sign regarding Aaravos's loss of control and direct manipulation of Viren over the course of s6. I don't think we've heard the last about Viren, and between Claudia, Soren, and Kpp'Ar there will definitely be a multifaceted interpretation of his legacy with significance in s7.

Opening the Final Season

Ultimately, given the dialogue between the three (four?) variant openings we have seen so far for arc 2, I think for s7 we can expect:

the Callum variant will appear at least once

at least one new Claudia- or Callum-based variant, OR possibly even an Aaravos variant

a new variant (possibly one of the ones from the previous point) to close out the arc for at least s7e9

That's my fevered ramblings about this 20-second repeated sequence, thanks for coming to my continuing insane TED talks on this and other ridiculous topics.

[aventurineswife]

I just thought of this now and knew it would be funny but,

What about a platonic!reader x aventurine but reader is like a grandma Madea. I feel like this would be funny since Madea does a lot of illegal stuff and since the IPC is sorta a government. Although she jokes around a lot, everyone knows she doesn't play when it comes to her family.

I feel like it would be really nice for Aventurine to see how much someone genuinely cares.

“You've Got a Friend”

Summary: When IPC’s gambling prodigy, Aventurine, meets a surprising new friend—[Name], a feisty grandma with Madea-like energy and a knack for stirring up trouble—his life takes an unexpected turn.

Tags: Platonic, Aventurine & Grandma Reader, found family, humor, tough love, loyalty, protective reader, unconventional friendship, hurt/comfort, lighthearted moments, character growth, emotional support, Reader is implied female(she/her) but nothing in details, Reader refers Aventurine with nicknames.

Warnings: Mild language, references to emotional scars, some themes of loneliness

A/N: I'M SO SORRY IF I GOT THIS WRONG SOMEHOW OR SOMETHING!! I HAVE NEVER WATCHED THE FILM/MOVIE AND TO READ THE WIKIPEDIA TO UNDERSTAND HER CHARACTER!! 😭

Aventurine knew he’d seen his share of unpredictable people, but nothing could have prepared him for you.

He'd met you by accident—a rumor had surfaced of an unusual figure wreaking havoc at a nearby IPC office, and he thought he'd investigate, assuming it was just another rowdy client. When he arrived, however, he found the office staff staring in shock as you, in all your “grandma” glory, stood there lecturing a young agent on the importance of family values, all while waving around your purse like a weapon.

“Now, let me tell you something, sugar,” you declared, your tone sweet but deadly serious. “When a boy like my grandson comes to your office, he’s here for business, not to be messed with. You play nice, and so will I. Got it?”

You didn’t notice Aventurine standing there at first, taking in the scene with a mix of curiosity and amusement. Finally, you turned, catching his gaze, your eyes narrowing slightly as you assessed him.

“Well, look at you, Mr. Fancy Pants,” you said, giving him a once-over. “What’s a youngin’ like you doing workin’ for the government, hmm? Ain't no good come from trustin' those suits. Just you remember that.”

The other employees in the office looked around nervously, but Aventurine only chuckled. “You must be…[Name]?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Grandma [Name] to you,” you replied, adding a pointed finger jab in his direction. “But you can call me Madea.”

The friendship that blossomed between you and Aventurine was…unusual, to say the least. You quickly took a liking to him, although you never hesitated to remind him you didn't trust “no government types.” You even went as far as calling the IPC “that mess of bureaucratic backstabbers” whenever Aventurine would bring up his job. Yet, despite the tough talk, you always had a glint in your eye whenever he’d visit, bringing you little trinkets he’d won in his latest gambling scheme or updates on his work.

One day, you caught him staring off into the distance, his confident smile faded just slightly, his guard down for just a moment. Without warning, you gave him a light smack on the back of his head, making him jump.

“What was that for?” he asked, rubbing his head and glaring at you.

“Stop lookin' like a kicked puppy. You’re handsome, got a job, a snazzy suit, and them fancy-lookin’ eyes. Life ain’t all bad, honey.” you said with a smirk.

“Since when do you hand out compliments?” he asked, a hint of a genuine smile appearing.

“Since I realized you ain’t got nobody who does it for ya,” you replied, shrugging. “You work so hard, pullin’ strings, playin’ games, but who’s there for you when things go south?”

That got him. He paused, then looked away. “Life is a game, Madea,” he said softly. “You can only rely on yourself.”

“Well, that’s a load of nonsense if I ever heard it,” you said, crossing your arms. “You got me, sugar. You just don’t know it yet.”

One evening, while the two of you were hanging out (at his request—though he’d never admit it), Aventurine made the mistake of mentioning that he had a meeting with some shady IPC officials that he didn’t quite trust.

“Now, what kinda mess you gettin’ yourself into, huh?” you asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“It’s business,” he said, waving his hand dismissively. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Oh, I don’t like that look you’re givin’ me,” you said, wagging a finger. “Now listen here, if any of them suit-wearin' snakes give you trouble, you come straight to me, you hear?”

He laughed, holding his hands up. “I think I can handle myself just fine. Besides, it’s not like you’d be able to get into an IPC boardroom in the first place.”

You shot him a wicked grin. “Is that a challenge, honey?”

And sure enough, when Aventurine arrived at his meeting the next day, he was shocked to see you already inside the room. You were sitting there, looking comfortable and casual, surrounded by people in stiff business attire, a sly smirk on your face as you glanced up at him.

“Hey there, sugar! Fancy seein’ you here!” you called out, loud enough to startle the room.

The officials looked between the two of you, clearly baffled. Aventurine, unable to suppress his laughter, leaned in and whispered, “You know, you’re absolutely insane.”

“Only insane thing is lettin’ you walk in here without backup. They don’t scare me,” you whispered back with a grin, “but they should be scared of me.”

Over time, you became a fixture in Aventurine's life, always popping up when he least expected it, giving him advice he didn’t think he needed, and occasionally pulling a prank or two on his IPC coworkers just to keep things interesting. And though Aventurine kept his usual, unbothered demeanor, he couldn’t deny it—having you around felt like having someone who actually cared.

One evening, after a particularly long day, you set down a plate of warm, homemade cookies in front of him. “A little somethin’ to lift your spirits, sugar.” you said.

Aventurine stared at the plate, then back at you. “I don’t…know what to say.”

“You don’t gotta say nothin’. Just eat. And remember—family ain’t about blood. Sometimes, it’s about who’s there to smack you upside the head when you’re actin’ a fool.”

A genuine smile broke through Aventurine’s usual smirk, and he picked up a cookie, savoring it. For once, he let himself believe that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t have to play the game alone.

[great-kung-lao]

KazuKaoru: Everlasting - An Essay

(This art belongs to amamaiiya, please go and follow, like, reblog her magnificent works)

What defines a good relationship? What makes fictional couple a good one? Each of these questions can have a different answer depending on the person asked, because it is often that in fiction people prefer something they would never allow themselves in real life. You know how they say, the forbidden fruit is sweet. But personally, I have equal preferences for both. In my honest opinion a good relationship has to be, above everything else, a healthy one and consist of trust, mutual understanding and support, where both partners have things in common, respect one another and don't hold back each other. This is what I saw and liked in a dynamic of Kiryu Kazuma and Sayama Kaoru from Like a Dragon (aka Yakuza) series.

Some might say they had a rough start, with them being on opposite sides of the law in a world where people are labeled and treated with prejudice. But that is the whole theme of their love story throughout Like a Dragon 2. It is a relationship that defies what people assume as normal, where characters are developing to see through the superficial and realize that despite their surface level differences, there is much more in common on a deeper level.

They are both humans, shackled by outside perception of them and because of it they might feel they have to act a certain way instead of being themselves. But being themselves is exactly what they manage to achieve around each other, which is something that even Haruka notices about her Uncle Kaz. Isn't that the best kind of thing that can be in a relationship? To be yourself without hiding it and be loved for it? KazuKaoru is that kind of pairing.

Isn't it ironic that he turned to be that someone? Interesting camera work here is that while he says this, it zooms at him. Not very subtle, but nice foreshadowing nonetheless.

Often I come across an assumption that KazuKaoru is rushed. Not one bit. We are talking about two grown up people with experiences, who know or at least feel what they want from life and their partner. It is hard to determine when exactly Kiryu fell for Kaoru, but Kaoru definitely starting falling for Kiryu at the rooftop scene after date. But that scene leaves us with an impression that her feelings are unrequited. She wants to stay with him to watch the stars, but he politely refuses and asks her to rest. There is a moment of hurt and disappointment.

Potential of denial is followed up by a scene at New Serena. After Kaoru suffered through shocking discovery and family member loss, she is a mess and her actual real self with all that baggage might not be loveable at all. She confessed to Kiryu about her insecurities and the truth ended up more harmful than she was prepared for. She started crying after saying this line:

I always read it as her implying something along the lines "you don't need me anymore". With her heart on disaply she is met with silence. But whoever was responsible for this subplot of Yakuza 2 liked to live in a happy land, so we've got this beautiful response from Kiryu that finally showed his true colors and feelings towards Kaoru:

"I would never think less of you" meaning that he accepts her entirely, with whatever may come her way. He loves Kaoru for the person she is and might be. This is pure, kind and tender form of love that is so easy to enjoy. He makes sure she knows that he doesn't want her away, so he asks her a very important thing to do later:

Yakuza and a police officer. Two people on the opposite sides. But both are warriors for justice, upholding same ideals of helping and protecting those in need. They both have power, but use it for good. This is the kind of common ground that can lead to something special and beautiful if they are ever allowed to reunite in later games.

Thankfully Like a Dragon 8 left us with hope. We have a confirmation that Kiryu Kazuma and Sayama Kaoru still have feelings for each other even after 17 years of being apart. This is why I call this essay as Everlasting. Because this is the kind of love they hold for each other, still waiting for a moment where they can be together again.

There is actually a lot more I would have liked to put into words about them. This is my all time favorite video game couple and maybe even my all time favorite OTP. Both characters are outstanding individually and together they are unstoppable. Ultimate power couple whose love story is there to each us a very important lesson in life that we all can take to heart and follow through with it:

[lime-bloods]

had a really interesting conversation with a friend this week about the Ultimate Self versus character growth, particularly in relation to Vriska and the hell tiers. in the past I've advocated pretty strongly for the Ultimate Self as core to Homestuck's themes, and as part of that I've been pretty defensive against its detractors because I think the idea is largely misunderstood and unappreciated. and while I still believe an appreciation for what the Ultimate Self represents is a really important tool for understanding Homestuck proper, now that we've moved out of Homestuck and into a new fictional framework I've come around on the importance of being able to critique the concept as well.

there's been a lot of talk lately about whether classes and aspects are really reflective of "reality"; whether Homestuck really says that someone might be defined by arbitrary labels applied to them by a video game - even if that video game literally is responsible for the propagation of reality - or if these are merely roles that we are expected to play but are free to break away from. I've always been in the latter camp; I've made quite a few posts now about how the class-based roles assigned to heroes of Sburb are reflective of the class-based roles assigned to trolls on Alternia, which are themselves biologically-essentialist assumptions that play a similar role to sex and gender among humans. and the Epilogues attest to the queer reinterpretation of such biologically-essentialist social structures; gender is an arbitrary label perpetrated only by cruel, self-serving cycles, and can be cast off if one's self-liberation calls for it. so the conclusion one might draw from this is that the Ultimate Self and the classpect are in a way opposed to each other; that the Ultimate Self is androgynous, without blood, and without class.

however.

it must be recognised that while Homestuck is one story, the Epilogues detail the exploits of characters who have stepped outside of that story and - depending on which Volume you're reading, and the outlook of each individual character - either into another story or outside of "narrative" altogether. and within a narrative, the roles assigned to each character do have special significance. just as one labelled "Thief" is expected to play the role of self-interested antagonist, and one labelled "jadeblood" is expected to live out her life looking after larvae underground, the "narrative" places certain expectations on characters designated as "boys" and "girls". as far as the narrative is concerned, characters are not "people", but rather ideas to be played with, and that's exactly what the Ultimate Self is - the "idea" at the core of a character's being. so it could equally be argued that a character's class, aspect, blood colour or gender are part and parcel with their Ultimate Self, and therefore that, stepping outside of the rules that govern Homestuck, shrugging off the Ultimate Self could be just as important as - or interconnected with - shrugging off gender.

crucially, Homestuck is a story about teenagers, and there is baggage that comes with this conceit. the coming-of-age story is one of self-discovery; the disrobing of the cocoon of childhood and the uncovering of the "true self" underneath is core to the genre. but importantly, at least in Homestuck's case, this never actually means becoming an "adult". coming-of-age stories are about teenagers because teenage makes for great stories, and as such it's only natural that a Lord of Time interested in creating a neverending story would try to engineer neverending teenagerdom. allusions to this abound, particularly surrounding Alternia, a planet populated entirely by teenagers who awaken from literal cocoons every evening only to return to their cocoons of a morning when it comes time to sleep. their quadrants seem hand-designed for the express purpose of making not "healthy" relationships but compelling ones, driven by the confusion of teenagers learning about themselves for the first time. by pretending to be a story "about" reproduction, Homestuck uses the fact that its heroes "enter right around the cusp of sexual maturity" as a smokescreen for the truth that Homestuck characters are expected to "come into" their genders in just the same way they "come into" their class and aspect roles.

in this sense, while the attainment of the Ultimate Self may superficially represent the dispersing of narrative contrivances like "timelines" and "alternate selves", it also follows Homestuck's "children coming into themselves" script to the letter. and to uphold our "full potential" as the Ultimate version of Self, as Hussie describes it, is to fetishise the prenatal kernel from which our entire life grows, untouched by any worldly corruption; to insinuate that we grow forward by stripping away our outer layers like insects, rather than by embracing each new layer as it comes, is a romanticism of childhood that borders on the reactionary. when viewed through this lens, what is "true" is also what is "innocent" - just as the world Before-Us, before Lord English's "corrupting influence", is innocent, Edenesque before the fall brought on by a serpent's bargain.

the Epilogues and more pertinently Beyond Canon, meanwhile, are very essentially not about teenagers at all! breaking free of the old cycle of storytelling also means breaking free of that expectation to stay a child forever, and in a world no longer inhabited primarily by children, how much need is there, really, for a "true self" that determines everything about your being? within the bounds of Homestuck, we can accept that characters like Meenah and Vriska must by their very natures be selfish because selfish teenage girls fill a vital narrative niche, and because when you grow up in a situation like Vriska's, being selfish isn't necessarily the same as being a villain. but becoming an adult means growing up, and among grown ups, on a planet where selfishness is no longer a survival mechanism, being selfish often does make you a villain, and there is an expectation that in order to continue being a hero one must learn and change. and in a world where a Thief no longer has to be selfish, how then can it still be said that every character has an immutable platonic Truth at the essence of their being?

the presence of the sprites in Vriska's purgatory illustrate this idea perfectly. because a sprite is an "idea", they represent a step toward the Ultimate Self, just as the sprite^2 is another step closer. but a sprite is also a ghost image; a photograph captured of a person in a particular moment in time, forever unchanging. this is why the sprites seem to simply disappear at the conclusion of a game of Sburb: while they are immensely powerful and vastly knowledgeable, their significance is tied to a specific purpose within a specific context. whether they simply cease to exist or commit deliberate suicide-by-meteor on the dying battlefield of skaia, they demonstrate an understanding that as great as it is to be an immortal and omniscient sprite, they lose their purpose for existing once the game of Sburb ends: just as the Ultimate Self loses all significance and purpose once the game called Homestuck ends. Davepeta demonstrates this exact superfluousness within the Plot Point; while they may have been a fountain of knowledge about all things arcane within Homestuck, when it comes to actually "growing up", there's not a single piece of advice they can give!

finally, and probably most crucially of all, Beyond Canon has not merely stepped outside the bounds of the rules of the original Homestuck, but outside of its authorial purview altogether. if escaping into Universe C means escape from Lord English's expectations for what it means to be a "man" or a "woman" or a "Page" or a "lowblood", then escaping into Beyond Canon also means leaving behind any of Andrew Hussie's expectations for what it means to "be your Ultimate Self". this is exactly why the story is CALLED Beyond Canon, and is central to exactly the kind of questions it is asking about canon; if Hussie is no longer in charge, why should "the Ultimate Self in Hussie's Own Words" (as linked above) remain the "canon" answer? and these characters' new home, in the custody of a diverse team of new creatives, is reflected by the multiple competing narrative forces within the story; it's probably significant that the character who shows the most reverence and concern for his Ultimate Self is Dirk, the very same character who wishes to bring Homestuck back to its heyday with throwbacks to nostalgic and outdated plot artifices like Sburb! no doubt the story's other key schemers, like its various Calliopes, have their own points of view on the meaning of the Ultimate Self and Homestuck's other mysteries, and the writers responsible for this story in our own world should be allowed to have their own views as well. in order to live up to its very premise, Beyond Canon can and must be allowed to offer up different opinions and interpretations to those of the original text.

ultimately this is key to understanding why Beyond Canon is not a traditional "sequel" and should not be thought of as such; why it was never Homestuck 2, only Homestuck^2, and then dropped the 2 altogether. in much the same way Homestuck was a story not "controlled" by its fans but rather written in continuous conversation with them, Beyond Canon, now finally under the control of fans, is a story in conversation with the text that came before it. in the end this is what any narrative-about-narrative boils down to; there can be no "reality" in fiction, only a version of reality as told by a given narrator. and while we are forced to take a narrator at their word when offered no other options, that doesn't mean every subsequent narrator is going to narrate the same story from the same point of view! it's important to have an understanding of the Ultimate Self as portrayed by Andrew Hussie because it deepens your appreciation of the original Homestuck, and a well-formed appreciation for Homestuck will in turn increase your understanding of Beyond Canon: not because HS and BC are the "same story" by any means, but because better knowing HS will make us better prepared to engage in the conversation being made when BC deconstructs, subverts, and even critiques the story we already know.

[tojisprettylittlething]

Chapter Four: Dancing in the Shadows

Pairing: Assassin!Toji Fushiguro x Assassin!Reader

Warnings: Assassination, Death, Manipulation, Adult Themes

Masterlist

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chpt. one - chpt. two - chpt. three - chpt. four - chpt. five - chpt. six - chpt. seven - chpt. eight - chpt. nine - chpt. ten - chpt. eleven - chpt. twelve - chpt. thirteen - chpt. fourteen - chpt. fifteen

A mission going wrong was just another way of saying it was going exactly as planned.

At least, that’s what you told yourself as you adjusted the thin strap of your dress, your expression smooth and unreadable while you surveyed the ballroom.

The event was one of those high-society charity galas that were less about giving and more about parading wealth—men in tailored suits, women dripping in diamonds, all pretending their hands weren’t stained red from the industries that made them rich.

It was the perfect hunting ground.

The Organization—your Organization—had sent you in to make a clean, silent kill. You weren’t supposed to cause a scene. You weren’t supposed to leave a trace. And above all, you weren’t supposed to get distracted.

But distractions had a funny way of sneaking up on you.

Or, in this case—walking straight into your line of sight.

You felt him before you saw him.

That same presence, lazy confidence wrapped in danger, sharp green eyes that caught the dim light of the chandeliers just right.

Toji Fushiguro.

Your fingers curled slightly around the delicate flute of champagne in your hand, mind working too fast to process anything but the immediate facts.

He shouldn’t be here.

Which meant—either this was a coincidence, or it wasn’t.

You took a measured breath, smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles in your dress before turning your head just slightly—just enough to meet his gaze.

For a split second, there was something unreadable in those green eyes.

Recognition.

Amusement.

Something else.

And then—just like before—he smirked.

"Didn’t think you were the gala type," he mused, voice low, almost drowned out by the soft hum of violins in the background.

"You don’t know what type I am," you replied smoothly, sipping your champagne.

Toji chuckled, slipping his hands into his pockets, his body language deceptively casual. "Guess I don’t. But I’m curious."

Curious.

The word felt heavier than it should have.

You weren’t supposed to be seen. You weren’t supposed to be noticed.

And yet, here you were.

Standing under a gilded chandelier, the two of you caught in the eye of something neither of you quite understood yet.

But understanding wasn’t necessary.

Because in this line of work, it was only ever a matter of time.

And time was running out.

Toji was a problem.

A problem with sharp green eyes and a smirk that curled at the edges just enough to set your nerves on fire. A problem standing too close, watching you like he already knew something you didn’t want him to know.

You needed to get away.

Not just because of him—but because of the mission.

The Organization didn’t tolerate failure. Didn’t tolerate hesitation. You were here for one thing—to kill a very rich, very important man before he had the chance to move forward with plans that would cost too many lives.

It had to be clean. It had to be fast.

And it had to be soon.

But Toji wasn’t making it easy.

"Come on," he drawled, tipping his head as if he could see right through you. "You here with someone?"

You exhaled slowly, keeping your expression smooth. "I don’t think that’s any of your business."

He grinned. "That’s a no, then."

Your fingers twitched around the stem of your glass. This wasn’t a game. You didn’t have time for games.

"I should go," you said, voice lighter than the weight in your chest. "I have people to—"

"Impress?" Toji cut in.

"Something like that," you murmured, stepping back, already scanning the room for an exit.

And that’s when she appeared.

Her name was Ava. Tall, sleek, with a dress that fit her like a second skin and a smile that could slice through steel. A fellow assassin. A coworker.

And, at this moment, a blessing.

Because Ava knew what she was doing.

She slid in like water, pressing a hand to Toji’s arm, her lips curving into a playful smirk. "Well, well. You clean up nice."

Toji arched a brow, barely sparing her a glance before his eyes flicked back to you.

You didn’t hesitate.

With the ease of someone who’d done this a thousand times before, you slipped into the crowd, your movements careful, measured, calculated.

The target was nearby. You could feel it.

A rich man with too many enemies, too much money, and no idea he was about to take his last breath.

You caught a glimpse of him near the balcony—laughing, drink in hand, completely unaware.

Perfect.

Your heels clicked softly against the marble as you approached, slipping into the role like a glove. A soft smile, a tilt of your head—just enough to catch his attention.

"Mind if I join you?"

He turned, eyes skimming over you in the way men like him always did. "Well, how could I say no to that?"

Idiot.

It was almost too easy.

A few minutes of conversation. A touch on his wrist, light as air. A well-placed needle, slipping in and out before he could even register the sensation.

And just like that—

It was done.

His laughter wavered, a flicker of confusion crossing his face.

Then, a stagger. A sharp inhale.

And finally—his body hit the ground.

It would look like an accident. A heart attack, maybe. A stroke. Something expected for a man who drank too much, who indulged too often.

No one would question it.

You turned, already blending back into the crowd, your pulse steady, your expression untouched.

The mission was complete.

But as you stepped back onto the dance floor, your mind was already moving elsewhere.

Because when you looked up—

Toji was watching you.

And this time—he wasn’t smiling.

My lil taglist ₍₍ ◝(　ﾟ∀ ﾟ )◟ ⁾⁾ : @t4naiis - @crimsonxm00n -

[mediocrecowboyhat]

Set in sand - Chapter 17

We mark the year 1934 and a peculiar journal falls into your hands. It's telling the tale of an outlaw and the downfall of a gang. Some pages are torn and others are downright unreadable, but nevertheless, you are still able to make out some parts of the tragic story.

With the help of a certain time traveler friend of yours, will you be able to save the author of the journal or will you be the cause for his demise?

Previous chapter - Next chapter

Word count: 3.9k

TW: end-game spoilers will be mentioned very early on in the story, 18+ MDNI, sexual themes, violence, gore, death, misogynistic themes (anything that happens in the game as well), she/her pronouns

Note: An important part of this chapter is inspired by the wonderful and talented @pyersiki and their post <3

The next morning you feel lighter than ever and there is a certain spring to your step. A wide grin is glued to your face and it only gets bigger everytime you recall the events from last night. Sitting by the campfire with Arthur and having his arm wrapped around you is about the only thing you can think of at the moment.

"Someone's happy.", you hear Mary-Beth say with a smile. She's sitting comfortably on her bedroll, an opened novel in her lap. Her brown locks fall elegantly around her face, framing her soft features.

Karen isn't too far away either and she places her hands on her hips as she eyes you with a knowing smirk. "'Course she is! Shoulda seen her gettin' all cozy with Arthur last night durin' the party."

"Oh, I saw that, alright.", Mary-Beth confirms and clasps her hand over her mouth to mask the giggle escaping her. "I knew it from the start that they was sweet on one another."

The two women's teasing makes the heat rise up to your face and you shake your head in disbelief. You know better than to indulge their banter and you wave your hand at them. "As lovely as it is chatting with you, I gotta go now."

"Aw, don't be like that! Tell us all the juicy details at least!", Karen yells after you, but you ignore her completely. Yes, last night's actions confirmed that there is more going on between you and the outlaw, other than pure platonic feelings.

It also kind of feels like that his public show of affection kind of established something, but you don't want to jump to any conclusions. As official as it feels right now, you don't want to set any rumors free into the world as long as you haven't talked to him about what exactly you are.

Leaving camp was also not an excuse to get out of that uncomfortable conversation. Yesterday you didn't have the opportunity to get engravings for your new weapon and so you thought it would be good to get it done now. After Jack's return and the party, everyone is kind of slow and lazy today, so you won't be missed too much.

Mounting Penthesilea, you leave the camp and ride through the heavy morning fog. With this weather, it will take longer to reach the city, but that also means that there might not be too many people on the road.

So far it does look very empty and everything seems peaceful until you spot two men on the side of the road who are headed into the trees. Usually you wouldn't pay them any mind, but the green bandana around their necks makes your inner alarm bells ring.

Sure, any and every fool can wear that ugly shade, but you've never seen it on common folk. The wet dirt road dampens the sound of your horse's hooves and thanks to the fog, they haven't noticed you passing by. There is a slim chance that these men are just two ordinary people, but you want to make sure. Just in case.

You hitch Penthesilea at one of the trees and follow them on foot. The crouched position you're in makes your thigh muscles burn and your back cramp up slightly, but you fight through the pain.

"I just don't understand why we couldn't have ambushed them last night.", one of them says in a thick Irish accent. So they are O'Driscolls, but what are they doing here in Lemoyne? This isn't their territory at all.

"You heard the boss. We was to only get that two-faced traitor.", the other responds and you watch him disappear between the shrubs, leaving his partner behind. "I'll just take a piss."

"For Christ's sake.", the first one mutters aggravated and walks a few steps away from your hiding spot. Their words spin around in your head. Obviously they are talking about ambushing Dutch and the gang, but you have no idea who the traitor could be.

That's when you remember that you in fact do have a former O'Driscoll with you and now that you think about it, you don't remember seeing him after the party. Usually he's one of the first people to be up and about in the morning. We'll, there is only one way to find out.

Quietly you take your gun out of your holster and sneak up behind the first man. You ram the handle of your pistol into the back of his head and he falls into the mud with a wet sound.

One down, another to go.

"What the hell?!" You whip your body around, facing the man who re-apeared from the bushes without you noticing. While he fumbles to get the gun out of his holster, you lift the Volcanic and pull the trigger.

It's a clean shot through his chest and he comes down to his knees with a gurgling sound emanating from his throat. You really hope that no one has heard the gun shot, but there's no one living close by and the roads are quite empty today anyways.

Quickly you jog back to Penthesilea to get a rope and return to tie the unconscious O'Driscoll to one of the trees. You have to take care of the body as well, but that will have to wait. With a slap with the back of your hand, you wake the O'Driscoll up and he gasps.

"Fuckin' hell-" His words die down in his throat as you point the barrel of your pistol right between his eyes.

"What did you assholes do in our camp last night?", you ask, your voice cold and controlled. His gaze is fixed on your gun and he bares his teeth like a dog.

"None of your damn business.", he snarls and you strike him with your weapon. The man grunts in pain and blood runs down his face from the now open wound on his eyebrow. Your patience is wearing thin and you're not sure if you have the stomach to full on torture him.

Hopefully he will spill the answers willingly before it has to come to that. "I won't ask again."

The man's chest rises and falls heavily as he pants and he glares hateful daggers at you. A sigh escapes your lips as you step aside so he can have a clear view on his dead partner. A dark red puddle is beginning to form under him.

"Your friend over here also refused to give me answers.", you lie. Maybe intimidating him by threatening with death will do the trick. Anything is welcome as long as you don't have to take more violent and drastic measures. His eyes go wide once they fall on the other man and he shakes his head hastily.

"We was only to kidnap one man! That's all!", he cries out in panic and you push the barrel of your gun harshly against his temple.

"Kidnap who?"

"K-Kieran! Kieran Duffy!"

So you remember correctly! He indeed wasn't anywhere at the camp this morning. A sting of guilt pierces your chest at the fact that you didn't notice it sooner, but then again, the others didn't catch wind of it either. It's no use to beat yourself up over this right now though. What you need to focus on is getting him back.

"Where are you keeping him?", you ask, your gaze fixed on the man under you.

"I don't know!", he exclaims, rather desperate. Too desperate to be convincing and your expression turns sour. "And even if, he's probably dead by now or at least wishes that he is!"

"Don't play stupid with me now, boy. Do you wanna end up with a bullet in your head?" It's as if the words that are coming out of your mouth aren't yours, as if someone else is speaking through you. You're spending way too much time with outlaws.

To give your threat more weight, you disable the safety of your pistol and a high pitched click can be heard from it. The sound makes the O'Driscoll flinch and all resistance crumbles away like ashes being carried away by the wind. "Okay, okay, okay!"

He drops the location of their camp, including the exact spot Kieran is being held at and how many men are guarding him. This moron proves himself pretty cooperative with the right motivation.

Just as you're sliding your gun back into the holster and turn to walk away, he yells for you. "You can't just leave me here! Untie me!"

Letting him go would be a mistake. He'd either ambush you or run straight back to the others to warn them and then all your hard work was for nothing. But you don't want to kill him. It's your personal rule to only do that in self defense and well, he's tied up.

If you just leave him at the tree, then he will scream and curse until someone finds him which probably won't take too long. This spot is quite close to the road after all. After contemplating it for a few seconds, you grab a handkerchief from your pocket and shove it deep into his throat. He throws his head from side to side in a futile attempt to stop you.

The man let's out muffled grunts as you walk back to Penthesilea and you hoist yourself up onto the saddle. If anything he said is true, then you don't think you have the time to ride back to camp and get a group together to join you on your rescue mission. Knowing the O'Driscolls, they don't tend to show mercy, so you have to act fast.

You signal your horse to ride towards the location the man told you about and truly, there is a fire burning. It seems to be a camp and you hitch Penthesilea at one of the trees nearby. Finding yourself in a crouched position once again, you sneak closer, keeping watch for anyone coming your way.

Soon enough, you spot Kieran tied to a tree with his hands on his back and his head hanging down. It doesn't look like he's awake or maybe he's simply too weak to keep his head up. That's when you notice the alarming amount of dried up blood on his white shirt and your heart picks up in pace.

Thankfully, the fog provides more than enough cover, otherwise you wouldn't have been able to do this during daytime and you really didn't like the prospect of having to wait until nightfall. With a hunting knife in your hand, you begin to cut through the thick rope and Kieran finally lifts his head.

"What...?", he mutters and looks around until he sees you. A shiver runs down your spine the moment you catch a glimpse of his face and your mouth stands open in shock. One eye of his is completely missing and you fight down the urge to let out a startled yelp.

"Oh, what have these animals done to you?", you whisper horrified and you force your attention back to cutting him free. It only takes a couple seconds, but to you it feels more like several minutes.

Every muscle in your body is tensed up and your heart is practically beating in your throat. If you get caught now...quickly, you shake off these thoughts and grab Kieran's wrist to wrap his arm around your shoulders. While he leans on you as support, you stumble back to Penthesilea, undetected.

"You really came for me?", Kieran asks breathlessly in disbelief and you bite down on the inside of your cheek. You leave the fact that you didn't even notice his absence at first, unspoken.

"Of course.", is all you manage to bring out instead and you both climb ontop of your horse's back.

He clings to your coat like a lifeline and sways around so much that you have to be careful with speeding up. If you go too fast, he might just fall off. After a while, the silence becomes too unbearing for you and you ask the question that's been bugging you this entire ride. "How did they even get to you?"

Kieran doesn't respond at first and for a moment there you worry that he actually did fall off somewhere along the road. "I ain't so sure. I was piss drunk durin' the party last night."

You nod to yourself when hearing his words. You recall how later that night he came up to Arthur, telling him how happy he is to be a part of the gang. It makes you feel all the more guilty for not noticing that he was missing this morning.

People throw you puzzled looks as you get close to Shady Belle and enter the camp. Kieran almost slides off Penthesilea and you have to offer both your hands to him to help him down. Steps can be heard approaching you from behind and once the man is down, you turn around.

"My goodness, what happened?", Mary-Beth gasps in worry, but her expression quickly turns into one of horror the moment she gets a proper look at Kieran's face.

"Get bandages from Strauss' wagon and bring us some water.", you order without answering her question and bring Kieran to his tent.

As Mary-Beth returns with the things, more people join around you in curiosity and concern. Bill is the first to speak up. "What the hell happened to him?"

"The O'Driscolls got him last night. Overheard two of them talking on my way to Saint Denis.", you tell him over your shoulder as you focus on treating the man's eye or rather the lack of it.

"The O'Driscolls were here?", Javier exclaims, almost in disgust and hisses some insults and cursewords under his breath.

After your work is done, you get up from your position and go wash your hands in a barrel filled with water. Soon Dutch takes notice of the commotion outside and steps out of the house, demanding to know what's going on. You fill him in on what happened from when you left camp to now and he nods with a grim look on his face.

"That poor bastard.", he comments with his gaze set on Kieran's tent. Most of the people have left to give him some space, but others like Mary-Beth are staying behind, watching over him. "You did good bringin' him back to us. Well done."

"Thanks." Your answer comes out short and you place your hands on the edge of the barrel, observing your reflexion. The woman staring back at you has dark rings around her eyes and a few blood splatters across her face. It's like looking at a stranger.

A new presence shows up beside you, less welcoming than Dutch's and you don't even want to turn your head in their direction. Micah leans with his back against the wall of the large house and spits on the ground. "Ain't you the hero of the day again?"

"What do you want, Micah?", you ask, wanting to sound irritated or at least mildly annoyed, but there is nothing besides exhaustion in your voice. The man snorts.

"Ain't it funny how you somehow always manage to arrive right on time? Somethin' goes to shit and you're right there to save the day. Ain't that convenient?" His words are oozing with both venom and suspicion and you close your heavy eyes.

"Are you trying to say something or are you just talking nonsense?" A voice inside your head is telling you to back off, that this isn't a battle you should be fighting, but you're tired.

The energy from this morning has left you entirely by now and this conversation is only making things worse for you. Micah raises his hands and pushes himself off the wall. "Nah, just statin' what I'm seein', is all."

With these words he finally leaves you alone and you make your way to your tent. Perhaps your accomplishment of bringing back a gang member from the clutches of the O'Driscoll will get people off your back. That way you could rest for an hour or so without anyone complaining.

Before you even make it to your bedroll, you hear the quick sound of hooves approaching and you look up to see Arthur, Miss Grimshaw and Tilly. The first two look quite angry and so does Tilly, but she seems to be a bit shaken up as well.

Curiosity gets the better of you and your legs carry you to the small group. "What happened?"

"Anthony Foreman, that bastard.", Tilly snarls, spitting her words out like venom. You remember her mentioning him and his gang a while ago, telling you that she used to ride with them. She didn't say how they fell out, only that it happened.

"They took her.", Miss Grimshaw adds and your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. This is the second abduction for today and you shake your head at the realization. Seems like getting kidnapped is more common in this line of work than ending up with a bullet in your chest.

It also seems like the security around here should be improved. No way should this many gangs be able to just waltz in here and snatch people away without anyone catching wind of it. Your worried gaze is set on Tilly and you pull her into a hug. "I'm happy that you got out of there."

"Me too...me too.", she mutters in a low voice and slowly pulls away from the embrace.

As the two women make their way towards the tents, you feel Arthur's warm hand on your back. "You don't look too well."

A dry laugh escapes you and you give him a smirk that doesn't reach your eyes. "Well, aren't you a charmer?"

Your response earns a low chuckle from him and he starts rubbing circles on your back. "You know that wasn't what I meant." Of course you know, but you have no idea where to begin.

You repeat to him what you've been telling everyone else, but intentionally leave out the last bit with Micah. There is no reason to pit Arthur against the man at the moment and you'd appreciate a little break.

Being as exhausted as you are makes you feel bad. Kieran is the one who got kidnapped and not you. He went through a shit ton of pain and you don't feel like you deserve to feel this tired. A sigh escapes your lips as you rub your eyes with the palm of your hand.

"You should lay down." Arthur's words get another dry chuckle out of you and you shake your head. Yes, it was your plan to lay down on your bedroll, but you don't know how much rest that will bring you with everyone being out and about. "I don't know if I can."

"How about a bed? A real one.", the outlaw suggests and you raise your eyebrow in disbelief as if he just told you a dumb joke.

"I don't really feel like booking a hotel room just for a nap is a good idea.", you answer and cross your arms infront of your chest.

He takes off his hat, revealing his hazel colored hair and runs a hand through it. "I was thinkin' that you could use mine."

Now that comes as a surprise to you and your arms fall down to your sides, but you catch yourself quickly. A teasing smirk begins to take form on your lips. "Mr. Morgan! Are you trying to get under my skirt?"

Barking laughter erupts from his throat and he raises his hands in defence. "That weren't what I meant. I thought maybe you'd wanna rest in it, away from all the noise."

His offer is sweet and you're about to take it as well until Karen walks up to you from the side with some paper in her hand. "I got a letter from Mary Linton here."

"Mary?", Arthur asks in disbelief and goes to grab the letter, but Karen snatches it away. Both you and the outlaw look at her with puzzled expressions which only intensifies after she holds it out to you instead.

"It's for me?", you confirm with furrowed brows and slowly take the letter from her, afraid she might snatch it away again. When she doesn't, you read the name on the envelope and yes. It is in fact addressed to you.

As Karen leaves, Arthur steps closer to you, searching for your gaze. His eyes keep flickering from you to the letter and then back to you. "What does Mary want from you?"

"I don't know. I mean, I saw her the other day in Saint Denis."

"She's in Saint Denis?", he exclaims, almost interrupting you and runs his hand over his beard. "When?"

You study him thoroughly, trying to read the meaning behind his tone and expression, but you can't decipher it. Clearly he's quite floored, but you can't tell if it's in a good or bad way. "Right after you left the gunsmith. Her and I went for a drink."

"So y'all are friends now? Since when?"

His question makes you take a step back and the corners of your mouth curl up. "Are you worried or something?"

Arthur's answer comes shooting out like a bullet and it's as clear as daylight that he did not intend to do that. "No!" He takes a deep breath, relaxing his shoulders and putting on a casual mask. "'Course not. I don't care 'bout the company you keep."

"Sure." You drag out the word as long as you can, you're voice oozing with sarcasm. Then your gaze falls on the letter in your hand again. "Do you want to know what's in there?"

It's obvious that he's beyond curious about the contents of her letter. It's written all over him, but much to your surprise, he shakes his head. "No, 's alright. This is your business and I won't stick my nose into it. Not more than I already do."

"I'm serious, Arthur. I really wouldn't mind."

"I'm serious too." His features are relaxed, not betraying a single thought or emotion. His eyes on the other hand tell a different story. You can see that there's a conflict within him, but can you blame him? You too would be quite stunned if an ex of yours would suddenly write to him.

Mainly because they exist several years in the future from now and it would be quite the astonishing news, finding out that they can travel through time as well. Arthur places his hat back on his head and tips it in your direction. "I'll leave ya to it then."

Before you can even think of protesting, he walks away and with a sigh you go to find a quiet spot to read. The handwriting inside is just as delicate as the one on the envelope and your eyes trail over the words.

My dear friend,

I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to thank you again for helping me with Jamie and for the nice chat we had at the saloon. It was very kind of you to walk me back to the hotel. I just wish that the reason for this letter was a happier one.

You might have noticed during our conversation that something was troubling  me and seeing how you handled the drunk man made me want to confide in you. I am certain that you're very capable and can handle yourself.

I am afraid that we have got ourselves into another mess. It's not my fault, but I need your help. Could you meet me at Hotel Grand when you have the time?

Sincerely,

Mary

Taglist: @shackspossum @abducted-cowz @heloixe

[votive-candle]

So I've been considering a rebrand on this blog for a long time for "professional" reasons... like changing my username, making an official portfolio with my name to it elsewhere, etc.

This idea has been mostly motivated by this deep insecurity I have surrounding what I would say is either NSFW work, suggestive art, "fangirl" energy, all that. And it's... frustrating, to say the least. And difficult express in a way that's coherent. Because my personal feelings are that art, even art that within the sphere of industry that I want to approach (ie. game art & story design, character writing and so on), should not have to be confined within this box of "sensibilities" that I'm told it should be.

If I was doing fine art like painting, or making installations, or sculpture, I get a sense that this puritanical ideology of self-censorship would not be expected of me. I also get a sense that if I was born male and lived as a man, there would be different industry expectations of me also. If I was a cis dude I don't think a game director would mind if I had a portfolio full to the brim with borderline naked, hypersexualised women and girls with big swords and huge racks (no shade, big boobs and big swords are fun and cool). But -- and again I don't have evidence of this, it's just a hunch -- I somehow get this idea that the way I approach drawing masculine figures? The way I write and express myself through, and speak about characters? The sexually explicit artwork I've drawn over the years, which majoritively does not even show genitalia? I get this gut feeling that this would be much less... palatable (?) in the industry for commercial, media focused art.

I've been drawing sexual content since I was a teen fangirl and I think it's really strange that somehow, as I get older and more mature (and I'm serious here, like really, let that sink in? I was told directly "you're not a kid anymore, potential employers won't like this" in response to shipping art an old tutor saw me post online a few years back?), it's considered in many ways less appropriate for me to produce explicit or sexually themed artwork. Particularly when that art has that air of "fangirl" (or "fan-person" in regards to myself) around it. Because "fangirls" aren't professional, are they? They're vapid, of course. They don't consume art meaningfully, not like strong, stoic men do. No, they just want their shipping and their coffeeshop AU's and their moodboards, and there's nothing creative in that, is there? No "professional practice" there.

I just find that... baffling

I'm speaking from the perspective of someone who is borderline asexual on that spectrum, and always has been. Somehow, professionalism is partly hinged on making your art less exploratory of adult themes, once you become an adult, once you're old enough to understand and properly illustrate the importance of adult themes. Isn't that strange to anyone else? Because to me it feels wrong.

Like I said, I'm borderline asexual. I don't draw sexual content to get my rocks off. I draw it because I find physical intimacy to be one of the most multifascited expressions of humanity between people. Sex and sexuality are so dynamic in their capacity for storytelling. With it (and safely so through fiction, if you're careful about it), you can express and explore so much; passion obviously, love, but also sadness and grief and condolence, malice and rage, heartbreak, self-destruction, self-improvement, excitement, fun, even just friendship.

Sex is beautifully dynamic from a humanistic standpoint. It shouldn't need to be considered this looming force of demonitisation, or an industry blockade. And I understand I have drawings that are too graphic, too NSFW to put in a professional portfolio, to leave online for employers to see. But I'm not even talking about smut here.

Majoritively, I really don't want to distance myself from a lot of this work I've created. It means something to me dude, because these characters and stories mean something to me. Sometimes the drawing itself is just... a technically well executed drawing. I don't want to revoke that because there's an implication of "ooh, someone's touching ass, breast and dick in there!"

Yet by expressing my excitement over that, I do feel cornered. Like I'll never get hired anywhere. Which isn't easy given the struggles I already have with disability, mental health, etc. So I feel a need to sort of give in and retcon a lot of my posts.

I don't like that finding work in the fields I'm interested in kind of hinges on a lack of self-expression, I suppose. I find it bitterly ironic since I want to work in creative fields. It feels like a betrayal of the self and of the purpose of art and good media for grown individuals.

But hey, I guess that's capitalism, baby.

This blog might change a bit in the near or semi-near future. Maybe a new username or profile pic, I'm not sure yet. Maybe a second blog will pop up somewhere. I just wanted to vent a bit on my disdain in having to make these decisions. Beg your pardon.

[omg-levian]

I just want to write something about the "Horn and Halla at the Hilt" quest because the more I think about it, the more I need to find closure about this entire situation.

I know that the quest, as the whole Taash quest line, has already been criticised by many players, and I can only add my voice to those people who felt... frustrated, to say the least, by the in-game "trans representation".

(please don't bother yourself if you are pretty satisfied with the way such themes were presented in DAtV; this post is just not for you.)

but this is not what I wanted to talk about. my main complaint is the plot itself, which made the scene looks like a typical school bullying scenario. is there any reason why the quest was directed that way and not any other?

firstly, why is Bellara even there? she is not a closest friend of Taash, as far as I can tell, and not a big fan of Lords, so why she is the one who was invited along with Rook? why not Harding for example? not Davrin?

this is literally the first and the last time when we actually see Bellara and Taash "befriending", and for me it seems that logical explanation lies just OUTSIDE the scene, because for the plot Bellara was the only fitting person. can we imagine Neve following that stupidiest "oh I messed up so much by eating that food!" scenario? Lucanis? Davrin? Emmrich? no, because literally everyone else has enough teeth or spine to opposite the group. but Bellara hasn't.

why did I mention some school bullying case? because it's actually what's happening here.

we have a typical bee queen (Isabela), who demonstrated her domination over the group by playing out the whole pulling a Bharv scene, where there was absolutely no need of it. she uses (also very typically) her low-emotional-intelligence-but-ah-sooo-treasured friend (Taash) as a pretext to show a necomer bee queen (Rook) that she is in charge here. she is not feeling guilty for misgendering, she is not making "excuses", she is simply showing the rules of her little game.

(it's important to understand that it has nothing to do with genders at all, only with social roles and behavior patterns.)

and, what saddens me most, as a player you have no choice except accepting that rules by throwing Bellara under the bus.

no needs to say that this is not OK when a person has to make such a ridiculous apology for eating some shared meal, and it's definitely not OK when a person has to endure phisical pain discomfort just as a proof that they are "sorry" and by doing this "worthy" to be in group.

of course, one may say that nobody made Bellara do push-ups, but alas, do we actually believe she would do that if not the fear of doing something wrong and becoming an outcast?

bah. I hate that quest.