#at least this time the tending was easy
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victorluvsalice · 1 year ago
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-->With the trash sorted and Smiler having grabbed their share of the greenhouse produce, it was time to take care of the rest of the farm chores:
Smiler went and took care of the chickens -- spreading feed, collecting eggs (5 normal ones, hooray!), chatting to a couple of them to keep attention good, the usual -- then joined Victor in the greenhouse to brew up a fresh Sadness Alleviation Lotion. Once that was done, they took Victor's spotted heart frog and tried to breed it with their regular dirt frog to get a spotted dirt frog (both so Victor could use it in potion-brewing and so they could add one to their own collection) -- however, the first attempt only resulted in another dirt frog, so that got turned into a plasma pack. Just have to try again later! They also put out the living room fireplace, because, uh, we don't want a fireplace just randomly burning in this house. I don't think Alice would approve.
Alice, for her part, was put on cow duty -- refilling Moory's feed, cleaning her off, and telling her a joke before milking her. I'm not sure how well the joke went down, judging from Moory's expression in the screenshot, but, uh, Alice tried! And Moory didn't kick over the milk pail when she was milked, so that's something. Alice also emptied out the outside litter box because that was looking NASTY -- I guess having three cats means it DOES fill up quicker! I should upgrade the litter boxes to the zappy kind at this point, they have the cash for it...
And Victor, of course, was banished to the greenhouse to harvest all the remaining produce and tend the plants. XD However, today he actually got a little help -- not only were the bots out and assisting with the watering, weeding, and spraying for bugs, I had Alice and Smiler join him to do the same once they were done with their own chores. The more hands on deck, the better! :D They got everything sorted in good time, and Alice even got the honor of planting the one new plant they'd gotten from all those seed packets the gnomes left around -- a bell pepper! So now they have peppers to offer for sale along with all their other various veggies, fruits, and flowers. :) There was even a little time for flirting and chatting as they finished up -- which I'm sure the trio appreciated, as I have been working them HARD lately.
-->On my end, once all the produce was actually harvested, I went back into Build Mode and started moving around all gnomes that had wandered during Harvestfest -- I sold the duplicates, then put the three "normal" gnomes and the one alien gnome in the four corners of the greenhouse, the pool floatie gnome in the wheelbarrow out front, and the Grim gnome next to Toothy the cowplant. You know, as a warning. Still no sign of my old bunny gnome, though -- I think the game may have deleted it while trying to move it out of its wheelbarrow home. *grumbles* Ah well -- maybe I'll get a new one during a future Harvestfest!
-->Oh, and before the gang finished up and headed out to the store, I had to get this one last picture of the kittens being cute by the scratching post. :D Look at how teeny they are! So adorable~
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thankchaosforspellcheck · 2 months ago
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I wonder if Gil and the rest of the folks that grew up on the Wulfenbach airships have to make, like, a conscious effort not to use the Jaeger accent while speaking since there are just SO many of them on the ships.
I mean, Von Pinn definitely would have done her best to train it out of them if she caught them doing it, but Gil has canonically used "hokay" while talking to one of the Jaegers, so I think it's pretty likely that there are still occasional slip-ups here & there.
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zeynatura · 4 months ago
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O:!
Blade 🥺
Yes Edmond is pretty, as always
But Blade 🥺 sweet baby angel~
I'm glad he's getting more playful happy vibes SSRs
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aquilamage · 1 year ago
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[Image Description: a set of five edited bug fables screenshots from the pre-battle zommoth encounter. The first is the same as in-game, Kabbu saying "W-What is that!? Something's coming!" The second is of zommoth appearing on screen with its sprite edited to be various shades of pink and yellow, wings the same pattern as Leif's (but still with the purple blight magic stuff in the chest area.) The next three images have the sprite edited in the same way.. The third image is of Leif's saying "...Wh, Rkejrm-m-Muse!? Kjdrira, mebsrgr...!!!" The next is Kabbu saying "Muse!? Leif, that's..." The final is Vi saying "T-That doesn't make any sense!" End ID]
I thought about one of my fucked up and evil au ideas for five minutes again, so I decided to spend like fifty hours making a thing about it. Basically what if Muse went back into Snakemouth later to try to rescue Leif or at least bring back his body and got caught by the roaches.
Putting just the edited sprites under the cut if you wanna see those without the lab mood lighting:
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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months ago
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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sysig · 2 months ago
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Very important to implement a goof-off break (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Cure#Youuuu sheeeeee#This guy I swear#Lol no she's fine she's just Very - but she's that by design that's how she's always been#She's cutesing around as usual - tho something feels off in that first one hmmm#Is it the lack of eyelid shine? Possibly...#Well whatever it is I'm happy with the rest so it's fine#And I do still like her little paws and such - I've really fallen in love with the heart/bodice shape however you want to call it#Definitely not part of her initial design but it's very her I feel so I'm glad for it it's a design element that has carryover forever now#Just casually y'know lol#My edits even trick my own eye 'cause I'm like ''Wow her lines are so clean she looks so easy to draw'' - I did that in post!#She is fairly easy to draw tho she's good shapes :)#Had a lot of fun drawing her laid out lol horizontal poses tend to be quite fun#And the shapes feel continuous! So often I'll have it where the obscured leg just goes off to space completely unaffixed from the rest#Not here tho I'm pleased :)#It's funny 'cause I tend to draw Cure as being oddly serious - yes smiley and weird but she's actually fairly even tempered!#So it's nice to doodle her having genuine simple fun :) Just enjoying movement hehe slides are fun!#I'm imagining water slide-style type slides just without the water - very twisty and wiggly haha#She's still a plush tho despite being a bear she's not the biggest fan of water#Continuing to try and practice full-bodies at least as much as my spacing will allow lol#Posing's fun like that ♪#I haven't been using it lately so I think it stands out a lot more in that last one but without her little bracelet thing#I feel like the ribbon makes it more obvious that she generally only has An accessory at a time#I guess her arm is obscured she Could be wearing it there lol covered in ribbons!#It's cute but I like her simplicity best haha
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isa-ah · 2 years ago
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sometimes I forget how bad my black outs used to be when specific other alters fronted but I just found an entire sketchbook cover to cover full of art and ocs I don't recognize in a style that's hardly mine from my last really really low point a number of years ago. wild. who's shit is this lol
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dutybcrne · 7 months ago
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From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.
Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.
#hc; kaeya#//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion#//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be#//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way#//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle#//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand#//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol &#liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her#//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold#before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands#//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves#but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc#//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him#//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that#Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves#//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being#//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection#//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand—an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort#//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time#//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away#//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern#//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying?#//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic#//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them#//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms#//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel#//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho#//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok#//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less#//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years ago
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Suddenly realizing I've had seizures before :0 but this was just the first one where someone who knew what it was was there to witness it (my girlfriend)
That's so cool and definitely not terrifying /s
#for context i dont spasm uncontrollably like people imagine seizures#i think from the outside it probably just looks like im having a bunch of tics and staring intently and being unresponsive#but then afterwards i end up being really confused and disoriented and forgetful#so its been very easy to forget about the seizures i had in the past because i didnt remember them#until just recently when i was like 'huh that felt familiar-'#from my perspective though its like uh idk its really weird#its a bit different every time but just in general#i tend to be unresponsive even if i can tell whats happening around me#i cant talk or control what my body is doing but i know what part is moving (usually jerkinv my head or arms)#my muscles feel either really rigid or really lax#and then my vision gets so weird#everything is sparkly like colorful static and the edges of my vision gets really dark#and there's intermittent flashes of lights or floating shadows#it feels like im extremely focused and very spaced out at the same time#i keep describing it like my brain is smashing all the buttons at once cause thats what it feels like#its also kinda similar to the feeling of being electrocuted? but i dont think many of you will know what that feels like#hopefully you wont at least#i just happen to#its like a weird buzzing just under your skin that doesnt exactly hurt but doesnt exactly not hurt either#it would be like the pain of a constantly tightened muscle- not painful at first but like strenuous to endure ?#and thdn painful if it stays like that or gets worse#i feel like im not allowed to say i had a seizure because i cant go to doctors about it so i cant get diagnosed >_<#but the thing is not bei g diagnosed isnt gonna stop me from having them#yay denial /j#im hoping theyre just dissociative seizures because god i cannot deal with epilepsy on top of everything else rn#and also because i cant see doctors right now sooo#god im exhausted and scared but i feel like those words dont even measure up to how im doing right now#i dont know. im just enduring#thats all i can really do i think#but i hope i dont have to much longer...
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cr0wc0rpse · 1 year ago
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secret: I have this really major crush on this guy but I’m scared cause idk if he feels the same
Oh man, I wish I had any good advice because for me personally, when I’ve had Major crushes and they last a While, I just straight up tell the person. But those situations have been with someone I was already close friends with, and idk your situation, but like. I find it easier to admit a crush if you’re good friends w someone. The worst that can happen is they don’t feel the same, and that usually puts feelings to rest, or helps, and you can move on. Or just allow the feelings to happen now but just let them slide, yknow? Regardless. No need to take action, do what’s comfortable . Sending you good energies about this tho !
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gothmods · 1 year ago
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My mirrorverse neurodivergent take is i like when staff make small talk because i have pretty boring days and the tendency to thoughtspiral over minor upsets so any and all good interactions are vital in keeping up the retaining wall of my mental stability and also generally nice because life gets a bit isolating
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salsflore · 1 year ago
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#cw negative#its not that bad i just need 2 rant for a bit#because like why does my mother say such ridiculous shit sometimes#i went to go wash my dish and she said ah youre finally doing the dishes .. LIKE i try to but what do i do when my brother insists on doing#it everytime ! and takes it from my hands and blocks the sink and he’ll make a big fuss if i don’t let him do it !#like literally scold me and tell me to put it down or else he’ll get irritated#i lightheartedly told her that and then she was like well yeah you're still a woman then went on about how its the womans job to [ . . . ]#its really the small things like that i think. she has such outdated beliefs. i hear her saying things like its the womans job to take care#of the house and her man and etc and i'm like ok i Know i literally won't win if i try to do so much as nudge her#but then she also talks about other things that just irk the shit out of me !!! the rapture abortion etc#the one time she told me to my face if she couldve aborted me she would have. making comments on my body and just#i don't hate her. overall we have a good relationship. but its just these small things and her gross outdated beliefs and how gullible she#can be and stuff like that. she tells me i have such an easy life but i can't bear to tell her i was ever suicidal or ever self harmed#because i KNOW she'd tell me i'd go to hell if i ever tried to kill myself#i know this wholeee thing might be really intense and sad and stuff but i'm totally okay /gen i'm just! awfully irritated#thinking back on all those dumbass things she's said and done like. agh;;#its not her fault i think ive noticed a lot of filipina women (or at least the ones around me) tend to hold those beliefs so she was prolly#taught these as a child but . come on!! im so tired of the misogynistic shit she says and . ugh#cw self harm mention#cw suicide mention
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holding bitch sessions with my friends in this program wherein i make itemized lists of complaints about my roommate and then read them aloud like a pettier and lamer martin luther who couldn't even summon the nerve to start a fight with my roommate
#personal#i realize im being definitely unfair but also consider i have to live in this overpriced apartment with this fucking soap opera playing 25/#also i realize it is judgemental but legitimately i think she might just. be a lot worse at everything then she thinks. and i realize i am#not great or a saint by any means either but like. i love this program and field. my fuck ups this year have totally been my own to make an#i deeply hate how bad its gotten (but im trying)#also hot take but this girl should not be trying to work in education at all. u complain about school being useless too much for me to thin#you would actually be effective#you complain about nothing interesting you for a career. girl u could just bartend for the rest of ur life. like at least bartenders tend t#get paid here#oh but youre an academic huh? oh that's wonderful. should we throw a debutante ball? should we call everyone's parents? should i email the#provost? bitch we're in the research triangle. fucking everyone's an academic. half the people i sit near at synagogue have phds. get a gri#god ive really deteriorated as a person since moving here. i hope theres time for me to have like a change of heart and become capable of#fucking love and whimsy again. like. i knew we weren't a perfect match but seriously im supposed to be this easy going and pleasant person#what is it about this woman that just causes me to act like this and start biting like a stray cat#i mean#i always kinda suspected i was a bitch but like. i dont like being this pissy all the time. i feel like im fucking sixteen again and i dont#even have anything to be mad about rn#jesus
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startle · 2 years ago
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i wanna know more about your ocs so bad. kinu and wyne…. who are they!!
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I REMEMBER YOU SENDING AN ASK ABOUT THEM ONCE ... i'll go ahead & FINALLY answer as shotgunned as i can in this one, especially since as of writing this, their concepts are much more (disclaimer: not fully) realized than months prior ^__^;
cut for LARGE paragraphs:
⟶ first, is wyne! ('when', she/they) she's an amnesic, water-dwelling ghoul, once a human woman from 1300's wales whose life was cruelly taken from her - at the hand of a trusted friend, before she could naturally expire from septicemic plague. despite her current state of being, alongside her trauma still subconsciously influencing her lifestyle -- she's vibrant & warm in personality, alongside being very diplomatic, & can freely admit that it's not always easy maintaining that attitude, but won't let herself be needlessly dissuaded. though her luck runs stale, & being afflicted with severe illness becomes something of a cycle to wyne; being something of a travelling environmental biologist, she's one day attacked by an animal diseased with a plague-like parasite & subsequently becoming the begrudgingly willing labrat of a mysterious back-alley doctor titled " the fixer ", of whom is also cryptically nonhuman. where mutual interest in wyne being a morbid medium of science & medicine shows itself, she is slowly accepted as fix's lead nurse -- eventually, accepting his hand in marriage as their origins of being are unveiled, & the mystery of their deep-rooted security in one-another is answered. (spoiler: fix & wyne, while not lovers in their human life, grew up as fairly tight-knit childhood best friends in a trio, facing fatal betrayal at the hand of their third link - fix's first best friend & lover, samuel - which resulted in both of their respective transformations. reuniting centuries later they don't remember a thing initially but, obviously, develop a new relationship dynamic. when their memories begin to return, the truth of samuel's actions are realized, & they find out he still lives on, the two physicians & their whole posse set out to put the plague -- & its progenitor, to eternal rest.)
⟶ then, we have kinu! (key-new, they/them, she/her selectively) an eclectic, glamorous & spunky vampire, the only childe of their subspecies' progenitor - who is their adoptive dad, no less - that's lived to tell the tale of fully-adjusted vampirism. having once lived a tumultuous human life: being a half ainu & half romanian person in 1970's japan kind of .. speaking for itself, immigration to the united states in young age after being apparently orphanized, falling into one bad crowd after another as they'd grown from adolescence to adulthood, up until their violently impulsive siring in 1991 . after taking a small handful of years to simply .. go through the motions of lost humanity - & now needing & ultimately wanting to restart their identity anew, they travel from their roots in southern california to the northern californian coast, finally dropping ship in mid-90's san francisco. from there on, the decades are spent becoming something of an underground artist in niche music & fashion scenes, alongside hoisting themselves to something of a coven leader role -- in lieu of kinu's dad totally disappearing after his siring of them. after years of being in the Borderline Symptom Loop, inviting a new & unprompted roommate - a demon named adam, brings kinu the kind of support system they'd absolutely need: someone with equal parts warm patience, brutal accountability, & encouragement of self-sufficiency. but naturally, even something so nurturing & vibrant has to come with its .. well, horrible shadow - something of an evil counterpart, whom long schemed a plan to break apart & control the two. it's the ultimate challenge for both adam & kinu's superhuman fortitudes more than ever - especially, the sustainability of kinu's own survival defense mechanisms, then eventually, their inhuman biology as a whole.
admittedly, my vision of their human life still feels really hazy (i guess just how kinu would feel trying to remember it) but, having been born in 1972 japan & being half ainu, half romanian - things for them were nothing short of unstable, oppressive
i don't know At All how to close this off, other than with this meme i made about the two:
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sysig · 4 days ago
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You say “Jump” I say “Forget it” (Patreon)
#Doodles#Vent#>:/#It was fine at first and then everything very quickly took a bad sharp turn >:0#I've had the great fortune to not have to Deal with someone being intentionally Bad Authority over me for a while now#So when it happened I was caught a bit unawares - they made it very clear that I Was Being The Problem (in their opinion) so I took that#Took about a day to realize Hey No Wait - they were being intentionally rude to me and then turned it back around on me how very uncool#Luckily I never have to see this person again! But it does mean I get to go shopping for an alternative egh#I know it's a power trip thing but really - I'll never understand people who go into a profession about Being Good At Thing#And then shaming others for wanting to make sure they are in fact Good At Thing - if I have concerns shouldn't it be easy to assuage me?#Someone who doesn't Know Thing? You can just be like ''Yes look at this thing I know'' but no - ''Why are you questioning me?''#Because I don't Know You! Geh blegh#Whatever it's over now - I'm more armed for next time as well#Expensive learning experience not one I cared for >:0 But I Have learned and Will apply it so pfbtl#I was offline at the time too so I didn't have my usual ways of taking information out of my head and onto screen to parse haha#I do love data gathering! Digital compartmentalization tends to be easier but pfbtl - more learning more things to apply it's fine it's fine#Doubly unsurprising I had a spike of low days following as well gah - I would love to be unaffected and just say ''It doesn't matter''#Just excise it from my head and be done with it! But no chemistry is wack thanks#At least there was a bright spot here and there <3 Silliness can be had even in with the frustrations and thank goodness for that#Blorbo projection helps a bit where I can sneak it in (lol)
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jawnwicks · 8 months ago
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Some of the most important parts for me:
“Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.”
"Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction."
"Smalltalk is a social script of exchanging trivial conversation about non-personal topics in order to pass a brief period of time together.
This sort of conversation is about figuring out whether you want to get to know each other better, so it's kind of a behavioral test. It's assessing "can I have a pleasant, brief conversation with this person?" because people usually want to know if the answer to that question is "yes" before they share more details of their lives."
"If the person speaking responds to your sharing of personal information with a request for more information (asks about your sister) or by sharing some of their somewhat more personal information (roses are blooming) they might be interested in continuing to gradually share more information. If they respond with more smalltalk, they probably aren't interested in becoming closer friends ... [but] maybe at some point they'll share something with you and it'll be your turn to decide if you want to get to know them better."
"Once you've seen someone several times, you will begin to know little things about them. ... If you want to become friends with them, ask them about these things and offer information in return. Start casually and don't pry for more information, and be sure to share about yourself as well. Eventually you will get to the point that you can have a comfortable conversation on topics of shared interest for at least a few minutes."
"If they agree to meeting up for the thing, they are interested in continuing to develop the friendship. If they don't want to meet up then continue at the same level of interaction as before and perhaps later on down they line they'll ask you if you want to plan a meetup."
"Once you have hung out on purpose a few more times you've got two choices: set a regular meetup, or hang out elsewhere. Setting up a regular meetup is the relatively casual option here; it keeps things in the same location and keeps the context of the friendship the same while still increasing interactions and intensifying the relationship. You can have perfectly good, if somewhat casual friends, who you see regularly in one place and rarely outside of that place."
"Hanging out in a new place changes the context of the relationship; suggest a hangout in a place that makes sense for the mutual interests you've learned over the previous months of getting to know the person."
"If you’re talking about the weather as in the first example, but you mention where you grew up and what the weather was like, that can be inspiration for the other person to also talk about where they’re from! But, unlike with a question, if they don’t want to share that information they can usually dodge it without having to make it extremely obvious that that’s what they’re doing."
Wait, so you said that you can learn to trust others by building friendships, but how does one go about doing that? Wouldn't someone I don't know be creeped out or annoyed if I suddenly walked up and started talking to them?
Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.
It takes a long time to make friends as an adult. People will probably think you're weird if you just walk up and start talking to them as though you are already their friend (people think it's weird when I do this, I try not to do this) but people won't think it's weird if you're someone they've seen a few times who says "hey" and then gradually has more conversations (consisting of more words) with them.
I cheat at forming adult friendships by joining groups where people meet regularly. If you're part of a radio club that meets once a week and you just join up to talk about radios, eventually those will be your radio friends.
If there's a hiking meetup near you and you go regularly, you will eventually have hiking friends.
Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction; if you go camping with your radio friend, that person is probably more friend than acquaintance. If you go to the movies with a hiking friend who likes the same horror movies as you do, that is deepening the friendship.
In, like 2011 Large Bastard decided he wanted more friends to do stuff with so he started a local radio meetup. These people started as strangers who shared an interest. Now they are people who give each other rides after surgery and help each other move and have started businesses together and have gone on many radio-based camping trips and have worked on each other's cars.
Finding a meetup or starting a meetup is genuinely the cheat-code for making friends.
This is also how making friendships at schools works - you're around a group of people very regularly and eventually you get to know them better and you start figuring out who you get along with and you start spending more time with those people.
If you want to do this in the most fast and dramatic way possible, join a band.
In 2020 I wrote something of a primer on how to turn low-stakes interactions with neighbors and acquaintances into more meaningful relationships; check the notes of this post over the next couple days, I'll dig up the link and share it in a reblog.
#this is legit the best advice i've ever seen for making friends#i can just SEE my problems in (particularly irl) friendship making now#combo of avoiding going beyond polite small talk my end out of Fear and Shame and not doing outside-of-context meetups bc Covid and Fear 2#i'm Very good at asking questions and inviting people to talk about themselves in a way that people clearly enjoy#but then it comes to them asking / me sharing and I shy away#which leads to me making a lot of “friends” who are quite self-centred and don't care to ask questions about me or stop dominating a convo#and other ND people who struggle with this stuff and actually enjoy/haven't been shamed out of infodumping#probably bc i (at least initially) feel more comfortable in those situations#but the ones who are naturally better at respecting my boundaries / are better at receptive conversation probably notice the shying away &#which is a P r o b l e m when either they're the self-centred kind or they're kind and just ND and i don't know how to change the balance -#- of the interactions once i'm more comfortable#<_>#i also struggle with not lying in the light conversation bc i know my truthful answers are not light and bubbly and easy#i don't mean 'how are you' 'not ok' i mean like 'what do you do for work' 'i work for my mother in her business' 'what's that like' 'awful'#😂#& i get all fight/flight when asked these questions that i immediately get flustered/scared and trip over my answers and EXTRA lie#how 2 balance between truth and scare off people - lie and make false friends#also the difference between direct cues and indirect cues is AMAZING to read about thank u so much#this whole post puts words and language to things I've felt and known without a language for them this whole time#guess i'm learning suddenly why people tend to find me very likeable but then I don't make actual friends lmao. and also why self-centred -#- people go NUCLEAR when I get fed up with being their perfect audience/moodboard & start putting boundaries in place. bc i've been sO gOod#this also rly helps explain to me why some ND people seem to go dead silent when I do an indirect cue rather than share Their thing about i#also the idea that this post is full of ableism is the most batshit thing known to man#THIS IS LITERALLY A GUIDE FOR DISABLED PEOPLE#resources
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