#at least there was a carrot and banana

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

Dinosaur freezes a large amount of food and considers himself very well prepared indeed to recover from surgery.

(I don't normally add patreon links to posts, but I will this time since I'm about to miss a few weeks of work. Thank you to my patrons for making that a less bad thing financially than it would be otherwise!)

[kaiserthebiter3]

How would the l&ds men react if you told them that "the olive theory" applies on you two.

(The olive theory is in a relationship, one person liking olives and the other not liking them creates a balanced dynamic.)

Xavier , Rafayel , Zayne and Sylus x reader (separately)

Xavier

as you were trying to cook lunch for you two , xavier was standing besides you like puppy , still insisting that you let him give you a hand with the cooking , despite the amount of times you told him that his existence in the kitchen is alone dangerous.

you were cutting various types of vegetables that the dish you were making required , "come onnn" he tugs at your shirt lightly , "No" you reply sternly , "at least let me check on the chicken in the oven" he says with his famous puppy eyes that are your weakness , but you don’t surrender , "if you I give you some of these carrots would you sit there to eat them and stop nagging? " , he pauses to think about your offer for a moment , then sighs in defeat , "alright" .

as you watch him eat , you wonder how he likes those carrots , "you know xavier? I really dislike carrots I don't know how you eat them" , xavier looks up from the plate full of carrots "I know" "I always eat them for you" , and that's when the realization hit you , "omg xavier" you say with a wide smile on your face , "it's the olive theory" you say enthusiastically , xavier furrows his eyebrows in confusion "what do you mean?" "I'm eating carrots not olives" , you roll your eyes at him "that's not the point , the point is that if you're always willing to eat something I don't like that means you balance me" you say stopping what you're doing to sit next to him , "which also means we're soulmates" you say that smile never disappearing , xavier takes a few moments to process what you said then chuckles , "that's silly" he says patting your head , "do you truly believe we're soulmates only because I eat the carrots for you?" , you pout at him "yes?" , you cross your arms "I always wanted this theory to apply on us because I strongly believe in it" , he chuckles again then plants a kiss on your temple "well if you say that a carrot would make us soulmates then carrot it is" he says assuring you .

Zayne

you always had this habit of removing the fruits from your dessert , such as the cherry on top of the ice cream , or the blueberries surrounding the peace of waffle .

This time as usual with you and zayne , you were trying out this new cafe that had just opened recently in linkon city , and you were dying to try out the pistachio flavored waffle that has gone viral on social media, while zayne ordered a chocolate cake , his favorite .

but once the dishes were served you noticed the banana slices put on top of your waffles , and you sulk "I can't believe it" you say helplessly , zayne looks at you in curiosity , then his gaze shifts to your dessert and now he gets it .

"can't handle those little bananas huh?" he says a little teasing smile on his face , "well , bananas taste awful you can't blame me" you pout at him , zayne shakes his head with a sigh , "honestly , I don't know how you're surviving without eating fruits" , "that's your job you eat them for me" you say giving him an innocent look hoping he'd give up on the lecture he's about to give you about eating healthy and all.

"just because I eat them for you doesn't mean you'll get any benefits from them" he says picking up the bananas from your plate to his , "that's ok because you get to be my olive theory soulmate" you say winking at him , he raises his eyebrow in confusion , "what's that?"

you chuckle at his expression "it's when your partner eat a part that you don't like about your food so it doesn't get wasted , we balance each other out zayne" you say happily , "I'm so happy this theory applies on us" you say reaching out to pinch his cheek lightly , "well I'm not sure of the validity of this theory you're talking about" , "but I'm 100% sure that we're soulmates" he gives you that warm smile that you adore , you look down trying to hide that fact that you're blushing "yes we are" .

Rafayel

it was a quiet friday night , when you decided you'd make your way to rafayel's house with a pizza .

the sound of the doorbell echoed through house , cutting through the silence.

"heyy cutiee" rafayel reaches to hug you tightly at the door , "what's the special occasion?" he says stepping aside , giving you space to get inside , "does it have to be a special occasion for me visit my boyfriend? " you said settling on his white couch , "since we both have the day off tomorrow , I figured I'd come and spoil you with some pizza" .

"well aren't you the best girlfriend ever?" he said sitting beside eager to open the pizza box ,but as soon as he did , you gasp "no wayyy" you say in annoyance , "what?what?" he asks confused , "look at these goddamn olives"you give a disgusted face while picking up one of the olives , rafayel chuckles "cutie you know you can always give them to me and I'll eat them" , you sigh and lean back "yeah we're the perfect example of the olive theory I guess" , "excuse me?" he asks looking at you , you look at him back "the olive theory my love , the olive theory" , rafayel still giving you that confused and lost look , "it's when your partner likes olive and the other doesn't , so the one who does will eat the olives for them , and it shows that we're soulmates" you say trying to explain it in the best way possible , "ok I understand but how does that makes us soulmates again my love?" , "because if I don't have you , I will have nobody to dump my olives on" you say smiling and holding his face with your two hands "which means we complete eachother" , rafayel smiles and grabs one of your hands to place it near his mouth and give it a kiss , "I seem to really like this theory you should've mentioned it earlier" he kisses you again "although... , I knew from the moment I talked to you that we're a perfect match" he winks.

Sylus

you were lounging on the couch next to sylus ,and he was seated with a glass of wine in hand sipping and savoring it's taste , meanwhile you helped yourself with pack of gummy bears , sorting them through their colors , green , red , yellow and then ..orange , put aside.

sylus noticed the different treatment you were giving the poor orange gummies ,he took another sip of his wine watching you before finally commenting , "you've been avoiding those little orange gummy bears all night" he remarked , his tone teasing but curious "what's wrong with them?"

you wrinkled your nose slightly "ughh I hate those orange flavored ones" you explained "I don't like how they taste ...they're weird" .

sylus chuckles at your expression leaning in to pick up one of them "so you're just gonna leave them behind huh?" "what a waste" , you offer him all the orange ones desperately "here you can have them and I'll be grateful" , sylus smiles and accept them from you .

he chewed on one of them "mmm not bad ....I'd say they're my favorite actually"

"really??I'm gladdd" you sighed in relief knowing that you don't have to throw any of them anymore , a sudden realization hit you and you gasp dramatically "sylus do you know that now the olive theory applies to us??" you say with a wide happy smile , "from the show 'how I met your mother' ?" he asks familiar with the term , "yesss , we're basically soulmates , since you'll be eating the orange gummies for me from now on" , sylus laughs , his rich deep laugh echoing through the living room , he leans in and tucks a stray of hair behind your ear "you're ridiculous..you know that?" , "heyyyy" you pout offended "you should feel special not anyone gets to be my gummy bear soulmate" you say crossing your arms at him still pouting , he chuckles again shaking his head as he wrappes his arm around you pulling you closer , "my love you'll be my soulmate with a gummy bear or without it" he plants a kiss on your forehead "but I gotta admit ...having the title of the the gummy bear soulmate is quite nice".

[luboy7rt]

What Animal Los Vaqueros (+ Valeria)   Would Randomly Bring Home To You (GN - Headcanons)

(Note: This is just what I (My headcanons), enjoy reading!)(Could be seen as Platonic, Romantic?) (GN Reader) (Alejandro, Rodolfo and Valeria)

Alejandro Vargas 

- Where did Alejandro find a literal donkey? Neither of you knew, even Alejandro himself didn't know as he walks through the front door, his arms crossed as he watched the donkey peek her head into the kitchen window, pushing her face up against it to see in.

- When Alejandro spots you, his eyes open a bit wide as he bit his inner cheek, before scrambling to make an excuse. He came up with nothing and just admitted he found her while on a mission, and she was hungry and wouldn't stop chewing on Alejandro's shirt.

- Alejandro would chuckle and ask you for some help, cutting up some apples, carrots and bananas for the donkey who tried to get through the front door. Alejandro quickly ran off to ensure she didn't do that.. moving the donkey to the backyard instead.

- He's actually pretty decent at taking care of the donkey, and teased you, asking if you want to feed or ride her. He's joking, please don't ride the donkey, if you do..  He's standing right next to you, prepared to catch you or calm the donkey down so both you and the donkey will be safe.

- Alejandro's willing to find a new farm or home for the donkey if you don't like her, he would indeed tease You about it though, you don't like that cutie of a donkey? Cue the donkey trying to get through the front door, or looking through the kitchen at 3AM, when you go down for a glass of water, you just see eyes peering at you through the window, like hey... whatcha doing here?

- If you do let the donkey stay, cool. New pet, when Alejandro's home, he does care for her, feeds her every morning, brushes her, ensures she's cared for.

- (Alejandro basically just stole a donkey from someone) he shrugs and says he Just found her wandering far from any cities, and she was now his as he didn't find any owners around back then, he definitely wasn't finding one now.

- You will hear the donkey squeal or grunt throughout the night, or early in the morning, It is annoying at first, and you may never get used to It. Alejandro would get agitated after a few mornings of being back from missions and waking up to the donkey making weird noises outside because she got used to being fed whenever she was loud enough so now it became a habit.

- Alejandro would eventually get a small stall built for the donkey, makes it comfortable but also cute looking from the outside. (Also puts extra food to just attempt for the donkey to quiet down the neighbors have complained. You might be too, Alejandro is definitely grumbley about her being so loud, but puts up with it.

- Also ensures there is plenty of room for the donkey to do what she pleases.

- Alejandro once loudly screeched in the middle of the night, you scrambled out of bed when you heard it. Finding the man murmuring in Spanish, throwing insults and curses at the donkey who had her snout pressed against the window, the moon reflecting her eyes to make it ‘scary’ looking if you weren't paying attention.

If you laugh at him he would give you an unhappy half-glare, gently pushed your laughing face away from him as he shook his head, having had thought you put the donkey away in her pen earlier as it was 2AM.

If you attempt to ‘comfort’ him, he's looking away with a tiny blush on his face while laughing, pulling you close while shaking his head, he would put his hand to the window, and knock to get the donkey to go back to her stall that she somehow escaped.

If you just stayed in bed, he's thankful, at least you didn't hear that. But also, why aren't you getting up when you hear that he screeched, he doesn't know if that's a good or bad thing, a tiny bit offended.

Rodolfo 'Rudy' Parra:

- Rudy was picking you up in his car, a little squirmy as you got in the passenger seat, a little blanket on his lap, murmuring quietly to himself, a little distracted.

- If you ask what was ‘wrong’ Rudy would smile awkwardly and pull the blanket back a little bit, showing the little rabbit with one ear on his lap, the rabbit fast asleep. 

- He would indeed let you hold the rabbit on your lap instead as he drives, he calls the rabbit ‘Stompy’ as the rabbit stomps around to move. He would smile at you, watching you in the passage seat at a stop sign, he would move to pat your head.. then Stompy's head then going back to driving.

- What You didn't know.. there was two more at home, waiting for you. Three baby rabbits, Stompy (who just got home from the vet due to their ear), Chirps, and Flumpy, all siblings. Rudy would give a awkward and sheepish smile while rubbing your shoulder, like a ‘Please, don't be upset with this choice I made’ look on his face.

- If you do like the rabbits, great, Rudy is happy with keeping them, he takes all responsibility when he isn't working. He smiles warmly everytime he sees them, gets a little silently giddy about the fact he was the one to save these rabbits.

- If you don't like the rabbits, he will sigh quiet, but will figure out where to rehome these rabbits, will be upset for a little while, but wouldn't take it out on you. He would still smile sadly at you, but try his best to be supportive. If you have an allergy, he feels less bad about it, and willingly brought them to a new home.

- Rudy would always place the rabbits on you, gently nudging one of rabbits snout against your cheek or your jaw with a smile, would either make a little ‘bonk’ or ‘mwah’ noise when he does.. then places a kiss on your head.

- Rudy does Make little cages for them, ones capable of being a ‘safe place’ for the rabbits, a soft little home for them in his house for then to sleep. Usually lets them ‘free’ around the house, you both could hear Stompy stomp about, always makes sure to keep an eye on the three rabbits.

- His eyes would soften every time he spots you cuddling, holding, or playing with one of the rabbits, his whole body and face relaxing as he never informs you that he is watching from the doorway, just watching quietly with a soft smile on his face.

- You would catch Rudy cutting up carrots to feed them as snacks throughout the day, quietly murmuring praise to the rabbits who followed him around, he would spot you and chuckle, looking a tad bit red as he would smile but quiet down when he was ‘caught’.

Valeria Garza:

- Valeria walks into the house confidently, smiling proudly as she holds a baby fox in her hands. Tilting her head and raising an eyebrow at you, like A silent ask I'd you were bold enough to question what she had done and where she had gotten a baby fox.

- If you don't she keeps smiling, scratching behind the baby fox’s ears, allowing you to pet him as well, but if you do ask to do so, she grabs your hand to pet the fox for you.

- Valeria illegally bought this fox, (the people who sold him have been.. dealt with as well) a beautiful little baby fox with a few small white spots on his orange fur. She held him like he was a new trophy she would bring home to you.

- If you don't like the fox, she will make a face.. Fine, perhaps she could keep the fox at her base instead of home, she will make a proper area for him, that you wouldn't be around.

- If you do like the fox, Valeria looks quite smug, humming in answer as she allows the fox to roam in the home, giving him his own little room. She would ensure his comfort, safety and also give him the best treatment no other animal would ever get.

- You often find Valeria talking on the phone with this little fox on her lap, she could go from harshly ordering people around to talking calmly as if not to scare the fox. The fox gets used to It, your hand could pet his head whilst Valeria's distracted, she would allow you to do what you please as long as you don't bring the fox outside the gated backyard.

-  Valeria treats this fox like her baby, like something that is now apart of her vast collection of things she adores.

- Valeria would randomly bring the baby fox to you, placing him on your lap and telling you to go feed him or go play with him because she's busy and unable or (she just doesn't want to) do it herself. She’d make it up to you later, perhaps a favor.. you want to be done?

- If you are holding or cuddling with the little fox, Valeria would randomly walk past, booping his nose, waiting for a moment, before doing the same to you and then going back to doing what she was doing. No questions asked, none will be answered.

[stellasettos]

in spirit of the season, i’ve thought to give my fellow, dearly beloved falsettos fans a series of less than conventional costumes. because what is falsettos & its fans if not unconventional.

•jason’s baseball uniform. you cannot wear this if you’re not going to pull your pants up to your waist.

• march of the falsettos attire. i’ll be sorely disappointed to see none of these.

•marvin’s tie.

•maybe the outfits of what a group of fours jews would wear (preferably you all are bitching).

•whatever a “banana carrot surprise” is.

•caroline.

•last but most certainly not least, The Cube.

[skzsauce01]

What Was I Made For

Synopsis: College is hard, but it's even worse when you're a pre-med student and it's even, even worse when you don't want to go into medicine. Fortunately, the ghost that haunts your apartment is more kind, more annoying, and more helpful than you ever thought possible. College AU, ghost AU.

Warning: alcohol, bad parental relationship, mentions of death

Word Count: 6.2k

Pairing: f!reader x ghost!Kim Seungmin

A/N: Good luck with exams and classes!

“Honey, I’m home,” you call. The handles of the reusable grocery bag you picked up from a club booth at the beginning of the semester are already starting to fall apart, so you’re forced to flip on the light switch with your shoulder blades. You glare at Seungmin, who is lounging on the couch, staring at the ceiling. “Could you at least pretend to help?”

“What’s the point? I can’t even eat whatever you bought.”

You sigh and set down your haul onto the tiny kitchen island that doubles as a dining table. When you make a big production of taking out your groceries, Seungmin still doesn’t look up. Despite his inability to eat food, he usually shows some interest, if only to judge your snack choices.

On the counter, bananas in a plastic produce bag to prevent fruit flies, and a new roll of paper towels. On the top shelf of the fridge, a tub of Greek yogurt that Seungmin makes fun of you for liking. Assorted salad mixes in the crisper. A whole rotisserie chicken and a carton of eggs on the middle shelf. In the cabinet goes a party-sized bag of barbeque chips, a pack of chocolate chip cookies you don’t want to discuss how much you paid for, and a box of protein bars. 

You take the last item out of the bag and hide it behind your back. You hover over Seungmin. “Guess what I got?”

“A bag of potatoes that will grow spuds because you can’t finish them all.”

“That was one time! Try again.”

He guesses wrong again and again, so after the fifth attempt, you hold your prize in front of his eyes. “A better vegetable peeler, just like you told me to. Are you proud of me?”

For a moment, his sullen eyes brighten at the memory of you struggling with your old peeler. He watched with great amusement as the flimsy blade repeatedly got caught on carrot skin and you grew more infuriated with each catch. In the end, you gave up and ate the skin, fuming with each bite of your meal. Seungmin laughed so hard, you thought he would lose control of his physical form and slip through the floor. 

He sighs, all of the joy escaping through his lips. “Yeah, sure. Sorry, it’s just one of those days.”

“We all have them. Hey, why don’t we do something tonight? I’m done studying, so we can watch a movie or play Mario Kart or something.” You plaster a smile on your face. “Fun, right?”

“You’re never gonna get into med school if this is how you work.”

Despite his admonishments, he sits up and swings his legs off the couch to make room for you. He didn’t choose an activity so Mario Kart it is. You leave your peeler on the coffee table and grab your joycons. When you flop beside him, tossing the blue one in his lap, he grumbles as he’s jostled around.

“I don’t even wanna go to med school,” you remind him. He already knows since it’s all you complain about these days as the MCAT draws closer, but that’s never stopped you from repeating yourself.

“Wow, what a problem. I’d die to go to med school.” 

Without thinking, you snort. “Too late for that.”

Seungmin has been dead for nearly two years. The old apartment complex burned down in an electrical fire, and due to the housing demand in the area, the university quickly built a new one in its place. Sure, you suspected it was probably haunted, but rent was on the cheaper side, especially for a single room, so you moved in and learned about your unofficial roommate during your first night. You thought you were going to faint when you saw a stranger leaning over your stack of practice books, and you thought you were going to be killed when he simply said, “I was also pre-med.”

“Sorry,” you meekly say. Why is the Mario Kart music so cheerful? It would be worse if it was sad, but the upbeat tune just makes your mistake more poignant. “I shouldn’t have—”

“Well, you’re not wrong,” he interjects. “Doesn’t matter. You better not pick Birdo this time.”

While you normally would have fought him six ways from Sunday for Birdo, you choose Yoshi instead and pick his favorite circuit to start off the night. He makes no comment about your sudden generosity, but you both know the reason. There’s no such thing as pity in this household, but apologies are aplenty.

When you come back from your anatomy lab the following day, whatever guilt you felt is gone when Seungmin holds up your pack of cookies with a disapproving look. You must have forgotten to put it back in the cabinet before you left. Either that or Seungmin rummaged around your belongings when the roommate contract stated that he could not and would not.

“You seriously paid for these?” he says. 

“They’re good! And artisan,” you huff as you snatch the package from his hands. You hope you didn’t crush any cookies in the process. “I support small businesses.”

“They haven’t been a small business or artisan in, like, twenty years. How did the cat dissection go?” 

You reach for an overpriced cookie and snap off a piece with more force than necessary. “Fine. A little gross, but I guess I’m used to that by now. You wanna see the pictures I took?”

He tries to feign nonchalance, but his body seems more substantial, less ghost-like as you scroll through your camera roll. Even though he oohs and aahs at the most inappropriate images—you really don’t think the digestive structures of a cat deserve that much admiration—you can’t help but smile. He hasn’t looked or sounded this lively in weeks. You thought it might have been your snark rubbing off of him, but he always has a biting remark at the ready, remedied only with his good-natured demeanor. Of course, that demeanor has been slowly crumbling, so to see him be his usual self again feels good.

Satisfied, he lets you take your phone back. “Sometimes I miss lab. I hated doing the lab reports though; have fun with that.”

And just like that, your happiness goes out. “That’s tomorrow’s problem. I should study before work. You wanna help me out? I hate physics.”

Look, if your roommate were a pre-med student, had unlimited time, and no other obligations, you would force them to help you study, too. Plus, Seungmin loves MCAT practice, so it’s a win-win.

To your surprise, he doesn’t jump at the opportunity like he typically does. Under normal circumstances, he would be scouring the living room for where he last left his flashcards. Instead, he says, “Why don’t you take a break?”

“A break? You, of all people, suggest that I take a break when you were just telling me about my bad study habits? Who are you, and what have you done with Seungmin?”

He rolls his eyes. “I didn’t realize you wanted to do physics that badly.”

“I don’t. This is weird from you though.” However, after a moment of contemplation: “Whatever. Pick a show to watch. I’m gonna draw.”

He selects House because he’s still Seungmin after all. This is the show that inspired him to go into medicine, and is, as he’s mentioned many times before, “the greatest show on the planet.” It’s entertaining, you admit, and you do like seeing all of the obscure medical cases Dr. Gregory House solves, but it’s a grim reminder of your parents’ dreams for you. With the dialogue of the characters echoing in your head, you sketch a frog sitting on top of a stack of pancakes. You initially bought your tablet for note taking, but it really is much better as a tool for art. 

“It’s always animals, plants, or dessert now,” Seungmin remarks, craning his head to get a better view while you continually pull your screen away. “What happened to your big fantasy pieces?”

“Rule one: no looking until I say so. Rule two: no questions unless I say so. Remember?”

He ignores you. “You used to do a lot of those things when you first moved in. With the crazy landscapes, guys with abs in crop tops, cat-ear ladies with fancy dresses, villains who you definitely wanted to—”

“I get it!” Your face is blazing. He makes your artistic—purely artistic—interests sound so much worse than they are. “I’ve just been busy with life, so I don’t have time to work on them anymore. Anyway, animals, plants, and desserts are cute.” In a smaller voice, you add, “And they make me happy.”

Just like pictures of a flayed cat makes him happy.

He goes quiet and lets Dr. House fill the air. While he pretends to be engrossed in the show, you turn back to your sketch to fix your frog’s eyes to be less downcast. No sad frogs allowed.

You don’t remember exactly when the dread began, but you do distinctly remember glancing over the syllabus for your genetics course and wanting to collapse. Each item was manageable by itself, but the totality of the class, of your future classes, of your future hurtled at you at full force. For so long, you convinced yourself you could do it. You would complain the whole time, but at the end, you would be addressed as ‘Doctor’ and you would be happy. Your parents would be happy, so you would be happy and realize that it was all worth it.

Even if you cried every night, it would be worth it. 

You took a deep breath, looked at the list of assigned textbooks, and pulled out your credit card. You went through more dire situations than this stupid course. This would be easy enough.

Two weeks after the art fiasco, you finally test out your new vegetable peeler on potatoes. Your friend gave you five for free since she was having trouble finishing the large amount she bought. While you stand over the sink, humming a song your neighbor has been practicing for the past week, Seungmin is hunched over the coffee table, doing something secretive with flashcards. He’s been working on a new set of them since the art fiasco, which makes no sense since you have a perfect set of a thousand that you bought online. But no, he has been toiling day and night to create handmade ones. You don’t even want to know where he got the supplies.

Well, you already know where and how, but if your neighbors come knocking, you know nothing.

In fear that you’ll “ruin the surprise,” you have been forbidden from even stepping foot onto the living room carpet. Really, there’s no point because you can get a glimpse if you lean across the island. Nevertheless, you keep your eyes on the growing pile of potato skins. You have five potatoes worth of fries to make.

Ten minutes later, when you have moved onto slicing, Seungmin declares that he’s done. He places the baking sheet you left on the island onto a chair and triumphantly sets down his masterpiece.

When you pick up the topmost one, you can’t help but smile. Alongside the words “absolute threshold” is a cartoon rabbit with alert ears. Tiny music notes are dotted on the top edge of the card. 

“To make your studies less stressful,” he says. 

You don’t have the heart to tell him that you’re always some degree of stressed but nevertheless thank him. The flashcards are adorable, even if Seungmin’s drawing skills aren’t the best. “Newton’s first law” has an indistinguishable creature kicking a ball, and “law of independent assortment” features some of the strangest plants you have ever seen.

“I love them.”

“What do you think of my art skills? Better than you, right?”

You laugh and turn back to your cutting board. “You should’ve considered art school instead of med school. Professional artist Seungmin,” you muse. “I can see you in galleries and museums.”

“Don’t forget the history textbooks. Why didn’t you consider art school? You would be perfect for video games or something.”

For some time, you did consider art school. You spent the first two years of high school daydreaming about sitting behind an easel, translating a model’s likeness onto paper. Perennial paint splatters on your jeans, permanent charcoal stains on your fingers—that was the only way you wanted to study human anatomy. 

“My parents. You know how it is. Can you season the fries in the bowl?”

While Seungmin dumps copious amounts of salt, pepper, and whatever random spices he picked from the cabinet, you reflect on your teenage self. A part of you knew that drawing would only be a hobby, but another part kept hoping your parents would come around. When Hyunjin’s parents announced he was going to study chemistry, your mom wondered why he didn’t choose art when he was such a good artist. In fact, half the neighborhood, whose children went into STEM fields one way or another, were shocked he chose chemistry. Of course, if their own kids had opted for non-STEM majors, they would have been livid. Just like your parents had been.

“Did you ever think about not going into medicine?” you ask as you add more potato slices into the bowl.

He adds a swirl of oil to the mix. “No. It’s all I ever wanted to do. I volunteered at the hospital in high school, got an internship at a clinic here. I was studying for the MCAT and then…”

And then the university’s outdated housing killed him. It sounds horrific when phrased like that, but it’s more truthful than “Promising Young Pre-med Student Kim Seungmin Dead After Apartment Fire,” as the city newspaper headlined. His student ID photo smiled earnestly at readers, and a recent picture showed him posing in a lab coat.

It hits you then. Seungmin is dead. You knew this logically; you saw the articles, passed by the vigil, and signed the student letter demanding better accommodations. Then you forgot his existence until you applied to live in this building and when he appeared in your bedroom, you forgot about his death. Despite witnessing him walk through walls and tiptoeing around his deceased status, Seungmin has never really been dead to you. He’s your roommate who sleeps in the living room, your study partner who loves all things related to biology, or your friend. He’s too alive to be anything else.

“Did you preheat the oven?” he asks, breaking you out of your spiraling thoughts. Your body went on autopilot, and now the baking sheet is covered in pale potato sticks.

You glance at the dark oven and head over to do what you should’ve done twenty minutes ago. “My bad.”

“You’re the one eating these. Can you even finish all this?”

It’s far too much, but what else were you going to do with five potatoes on the verge of going bad? You suppose you could have not accepted them from your friend. “I can try?” you say, more to convince yourself than him. “I’m no coward.”

“Really? Then why do you hide when we watch horror movies?”

“That’s different. Mario Kart while we wait?”

“I call Birdo.”

Despite his declaration, you’re the one playing Birdo while he settles for Waluigi. Seungmin gloats when he hits you with a red shell, laughs when you fall off the track, and celebrates when he gets first place. He’s practically corporeal, alight with hopes and dreams you wish were your own, but he’s only the echo of the past. Meanwhile, blood flows through your veins and oxygen into your lungs, yet you’re stuck in a potential future you don’t even want.

At the end of fall, between your human biology midterm and that stupid philosophy paper, you break. It’s during one of your MCAT practice exams, so you at least can cry at your desk. You can’t even cry without guilt; your mind immediately starts trying to reread the problem you’re stuck on through your tears, as if trigonometry will solve your crisis. 

It feels like an elephant is sitting on your chest. Every time you think you’ve calmed down enough to begin again, another wave of sobs overcomes you. Just holding your pencil makes your throat tighten.

“Are you okay?” Seungmin’s voice is slightly muffled by your bedroom door, but you doubt that a thin piece of wood concealed your cries.

You choke out, “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“... No.”

You swing open your door with sardonic fanfare, spreading your arms like a ringmaster. Seungmin makes no comment about your swollen eyes or your sniffles. You almost wish he had.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asks. He takes a tentative step into your room, and when you nod, he lets himself fully in. It’s been several months since he’s last been inside. Unmade bed, cluttered nightstand, paper-strewn desk—nothing much has changed. He sits on your chair, resting an arm on top of the throw blanket you’ve thrown over the back.

“I don’t know what there is to talk about,” you say after a moment of silence. “I hate class, I hate work, I hate my life. A breakdown has been long overdue.”

You stare at the floor, afraid to meet his gaze now that he’s seen you like this. Ever since you discovered Seungmin, you’ve crafted the perfect blasé attitude to accommodate your new living circumstances. He leaves you alone sometimes and stays cordoned off in the shared spaces to give you privacy, but you don’t break apart in your apartment for good reason. You’re open and raw like a bloody wound. Will he want to patch you up with bandaids, or will he pick and prod?

Pick and prod, you pray. Make some flippant remark about how easy you have it, how he wishes he could be in your position instead. Because if he does, then the situation must not be that bad.

Softly, Seungmin says, “What can I do to help?”

Your heart drops to your stomach. “I don’t know… I should probably get back to studying anyway.”

“Really? Are you serious?”

“What else am I supposed to do?” you snap. Seungmin at least has the decency to look sheepish. “The MCAT’s in July, and I don’t even understand half the things I’m supposed to know. I’m barely getting C’s in philosophy and art history because of it. That’s so humiliating.”

“Have you thought about, you know, not going to med school?”

A harsh laugh rips out of your throat. “Every single day. But it’s too late. I’ve already wasted four years, so what’s another four?” That doesn’t even include residency.

“You’d hate it.”

“Story of my life.”

The room goes quiet. Maybe you were too severe with your words, but how else do you explain it? 

“What if you became a medical illustrator?” he abruptly suggests. “You’d know exactly how to draw everything. It’s perfect for you. And it’s still STEM-related.”

It doesn’t matter if it’s in STEM. Your parents laid out your options very clearly: doctor or disappointment. Some career choices were less disappointing than others, but they would still be disappointments.

“I need to study,” you say.

He stands up from your rightful seat at your desk. Softly, so very softly, he says, “I’ll let you get back to it then.”

“Thank you.”

He shuts the door behind him and leaves you with your despair. True to your word, you return to your practice exam, this time without crying. Your mouth is dry the entire session, but you don’t dare drink any water in fear that rehydration will trigger your tears. It’s stupid but keeps you holding on. 

When you check your answers and review terminology, you refer to the set of flashcards Seungmin made for you. He didn’t expect you to use them, but his drawings have helped you better memorize the definitions. You shuffle through them, occasionally trying to figure out the relationship between whatever Seungmin drew and the word written. Other times—but not enough for your liking—you know exactly what they mean.

The rabbit from “absolute threshold” stares at you with lopsided eyes, and Mendel’s warped pea plants grow beneath your fingers. The whole world blurs.

A month after move-in, after too many beers and barbeque chips, you asked Seungmin, “Why do you haunt only me? You can travel through the whole building, but you’re only ever here.”

He gestures at the room with a sweeping flourish. “This used to be my apartment. Sort of. They changed the floor plan, but this is the approximate location of where I lived, so when you moved in, it felt like fate.”

“Ah, a med school sufferer to keep you company.”

He laughs, but it sounds insincere. “How drunk are you right now?”

You glance at the row of empty cans you lined up on the counter. One, two, three, four, five. Five and a half, if you count the one in your hand. “Pretty drunk, I think.”

“So you won’t remember what I tell you, right?”

“Probably not,” you lie. “What is it?”

With a sad smile on his face, he says, “I haunt you because it’s like seeing someone live the life I could’ve had. Would’ve had.”

Your outburst doesn’t go forgotten, but you and Seungmin dance around the topic with the grace of a seasoned ballerina. You show him your grocery hauls, he scolds you for buying expensive cookies. The two of you play Overcooked instead of Mario Kart and pretend that Overcooked will strengthen your friendship instead destroy it even further. Seungmin is really bad, embarrassingly so. 

“Are you going to the party this weekend?” he asks as he drops onions all over the floor. There’s no health department in the game.

“I would ask you to be more specific,” you say, “but we both know I’m not going to any parties. Go chop the onions.”

“You need friends.”

“I have friends. Who do you think keeps us giving us potatoes?”

He scoffs. “That’s not a friend. That’s an enemy. We need more dishes.”

While you wash a stack of dirty dishes, Seungmin dashes between prepping ingredients and watching the timer on the soups. As expected, he doesn’t take the pot off the stovetop quick enough, and soon enough the whole kitchen is in flames. You scream at him to get the fire extinguisher, he wades through the sea of onions, and the level ends with a single gold star.

You set your joycon down and lean your head back. “Three stars or nothing” is your motto when playing Overcooked, but perhaps you can make an exception for Seungmin.

“Why’d you ask me about a party?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. Seems like a college student thing to ask. And a college student thing to do. Go to parties, I mean.”

“Not for us.” You stretch your arms and legs out, knocking your socked feet against the coffee table. “When have you ever seen me willingly leave the apartment?”

“Never,” he admits, “but you should enjoy your youth.”

Whatever mutual agreement you thought you and Seungmin had does not exist. You have long known that you would have to sacrifice your twenties for your future. There would be good moments among your struggles, but so many of your memories would be of test prep and studying. As your parents so eloquently put it, “You can draw after you retire.” 

“That’s funny coming from you,” you say. You wave a hand in front of his face and observe the way his eyebrows scrunch together. “Are you really Seungmin?”

“Do you know any other ghosts?”

“Do you actually regret dedicating so much time to studying?”

“No. I mean, I went out when I could, but you…” He mindlessly thumbs the buttons of the controller as he tries to find his words. “Well, maybe I do a little bit, but it was fulfilling. Or was going to be anyway. You’re miserable. I’ve never seen you without dark circles or eye bags.”

How needlessly observant of him. “Thanks. It’s the quintessential college look.”

“Take care of yourself.” He raises his joycon and nods at the TV. “Let’s go again. Three stars only.”

And just like that, you and Seungmin go back to pretending as if everything is fine, like the last few minutes were idle chatter about the weather. You yell instructions at him, and he retorts back with something snarky; all is well.

You suppose you should have realized why Seungmin asked you such out-of-character questions two weeks ago. Death anniversaries don’t typically go onto your calendar, but you could have made an exception for Seungmin. How did you forget? As you walk down the stairs, a wave of guilt washes over you.

The annual university-held vigil occurs on campus, but the apartment complex has their own small affair in the courtyard. Framed photos of the victims huddle together at the base of a half-wall. Already, there are several flowers and notes strewn about, and you add your own carnation to the pile. You have a note as well, and it burns your hand as you debate whether to leave it or not.

Twelve people died that night. “Only” twelve, as some papers reiterated. Twelve out of three hundred doesn’t seem too horrific given the state of the fire, but that’s still twelve people dead. Plenty more got injured trying to escape, and they aren’t honored at this memorial. The living don’t get commemorated—they live with the memories of the day, and that’s remembrance enough for the public.

“Hey.”

No one else is around, so you say, “Hey,” back to Seungmin. He disappeared for a few hours, and you assumed he would be gone until sunrise. In the days leading up to his death anniversary, he has grown increasingly depressed, looking vacantly out the window and mouthing words to himself. You idiotically thought he was just having one of those days.

“How are you holding up?” you ask.

“Fine, I guess. Good turn out this year,” he remarks as he kneels down to pick through the gifts. “The construction workers didn’t even show up to work because of superstition or something.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I know, it’s just…” You wave the folded notebook paper in your hand. Maybe you should’ve bought some stationery after all. “Read this later. I’ll see you whenever.”

You gently place it beside your carnation, return back to your apartment, and lock yourself inside your room. It’s too quiet, and you’re too restless. Your head tells you to do practice problems to burn off your energy, but all you’ve been doing as of late is listen to your head.

As you sketch an anatomical heart—underneath a completely necessary and painstakingly accurate rendering of a male torso—your bones say that this is right. 

To Kim Seungmin, a star that went out too soon—

You deserved so much more than this. I don’t even know what else to say because nothing feels more appropriate. 

I’m living in your old apartment—where it used to be, at least—and I can’t help but feel that I’m living the life you should have had. Sometimes I can feel your presence when I’m studying. I can hear you reciting definitions and shuffling flashcards. When I’m really losing my mind, I can see you sitting on the couch watching House episodes with me. It’s comforting and terrifying.

You already know this, but I don’t want to go to med school. I hate it and I hate being a disappointment to my parents, but I hate being a disappointment to you the most. You should be in my place, so I thought I should try and complete your dream for you at the very least. I’m already miserable, so I should make the most of it. For a while, I thought this would make you happy, but it’s been making you sad and worried recently. I thought if I could make you happy, then it would be worth it, but I’m realizing it’s not, but I’m too scared to leave this path. Sometimes I don’t know who I am without med school looming over me, and it 

I wish we would’ve met earlier. You’re an amazing person, full of light and kindness. The world is darker without you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done and for everything that I didn’t do because you deserve so much better than whatever you’ve been given.

“Do you want to talk?”

Seungmin’s upside down face appears between you and the iPad you have been holding up with both arms. Philosophy review is simultaneously boring and maddening, but you have a final to be studying for. You should’ve started much earlier, but twenty-four hours of cramming has not failed you when it comes to general education elective courses yet.

“Not really,” you say as you push his face out of view. He’s corporeal at the moment, so your hand meets resistance rather than going right through. “I’m busy.”

“Did you apply for a ‘biomedical visualization’ program? That’s a medical illustrator thing, right?”

You don’t need to look at him to know he’s thrilled. Since the memorial, you began looking into medical illustrators as a backup plan. You only meant to learn about the basic requirements, but curiosity got the better of you, and you attended an online informational session. Seungmin overheard bits and pieces because of how thin the walls are, you got cagey when he asked, and he put his endless hours of free time into detective work. 

“I didn’t apply. I’m just looking around. Now go away.”

“The living room is a communal space. So you’re considering it then?”

You don’t respond and bring your iPad closer to your eyes. To read the tiny notes on the margins of your classmate’s notes, of course.

Seungmin cackles and claps his hands. “You are! This is good! Why are you so morose?”

“Because you interrupted my studying? I have less than ten hours to cover three months of content.”

“You’re deflecting. Are you worried about your parents?”

“Morose and deflecting,” you murmur. “Two gold stars for your vocabulary usage.”

“Are you?”

You shut your eyes, envisioning the stern faces of your parents when you announce over dinner your plans to spend your life not being a doctor. Their expressions morph from confusion to anger to grim when they realize how serious you are. 

Are you serious about this? You’re not even sure yourself. It feels like you’re in high school again, holding onto a shred of hope for a future you aren’t allowed to have.

“What if I lie to them?” you say. “I tell them I got into a school that’s super far away, go there, and return when I’ve firmly established myself as an illustrator or whatever I end up doing. It’ll be too late for them to do anything.”

“That’s one way to do it. But wouldn’t it be better if you were upfront?”

You groan and turn back to your classmate’s notes. What is it like, you wonder, to not be crushed by the weight of approval? What is it like to know you won’t be scorned for your choices? No matter what you do, someone—your parents or Seungmin—will be upset.

“Upset” is a very mild way to describe your parents’ reactions. After six cans of celebratory beer—you passed all of your classes this semester!—you called your parents to tell them good news. Somewhere between the silent congratulations and questions of your home arrival, you blurted out, “I think I’m gonna do biomedical visualization. Medical illustration. Art. It’s still medical-related, but not a doctor.”

And after a lengthy discussion filled with shouting, you’re not allowed to come home this year or ever again. CALL ENDED flashes on your screen, but you grip your phone so tightly you can feel your heartbeat in your fingertips. Your whole body is tense, flushed with indignation and shame. No tears come. You expected something like this but nothing to this extreme. Their words echo in your ears.

Ungrateful. Selfish. Disgrace. 

Logically, you know you’re none of those things, but you can’t help but feel they’re at least a little bit right. You sink into your desk chair and wait for the inevitable knock on your door. To step out of your own accord would be mortifying. 

“Are you okay?” asks Seungmin.

“I’ve been disowned in every way except legally,” you answer as you let him inside your room. “What do you think?”

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s…”

It’s not fine, but your mouth started saying so by default. You perch on the edge of your bed and stare at the stack of practice books that have been untouched for two days on your dresser. They would belong better under your bed where they’ll be out of sight.

Suddenly insecure, you ask, “You’re not gonna leave me, right? You’ll still help me peel potatoes and let me know when my artisan cookies are on sale?”

He chuckles. “The only way you can get away from me is by moving or by graduating. I’ll be here. Instead of nagging you to study, I’ll critique your anatomy.”

“That’s against the rules.” Nevertheless, you smile at the thought of Seungmin hyperfixed at your artistic renderings and comparing them against pictures from a textbook. “Thanks.”

Seungmin smiles back, and he radiates so much warmth that you forget it’s winter.

EPILOGUE

“Honey, I’m home,” you call. 

You nearly trip over the door sill in your heels but catch yourself in time. Wearing heels to commencement is a bad idea for more reasons than one. Clutching your friend’s graduation bouquet, you flip on the light switch with the back of your hand and glance over your apartment. Other than the dozens of boxes scattered across the living room and kitchen, nothing else belongs to you; goodbye coffee table you stubbed your toes against too many times; goodbye peeling school-issued couch. You half-expected to see Seungmin lying on it, staring at the ceiling like he used to. 

“Seungmin, where are you?” When he doesn’t answer, you try again. “Anyone home?”

You wander around the small apartment, checking behind doors and furniture like you’re playing hide-and-seek. He’s nowhere to be found, and you go through the apartment again in a frenzy. He could be in a different part of the building, but he always knows when you’re looking for him.

“Where are you? Seungmin, this isn��t funny! I know you can hear me.”

It takes twenty minutes, but you eventually realize he’s gone for good. No goodbyes, no hugs, no teasing—he just waved you off to your ceremony and shut the front door. You knew he wouldn’t be able to help you move out, but you thought he would still be here when you returned. He researched additional art classes for you, suggested works for your portfolio, and consoled you whenever you were overwhelmed. It’s a knife to your heart that he’s not here.

In between tears that you don’t allow to fall from your eyes, you carry your boxes of belongings to your car. You have a new place to call home, but two perfectly nice housemates and a dog aren’t good replacements for a ghost who annoyed you from sunrise to sundown.

I hope you find this note eventually. I know we have the rule where I’m not supposed to go through your belongings, but since we’re not going to be roommates any longer, I hope you’re not too mad. Completely unrelated but you’re really good at Mario Kart. So good. Birdo was designed specifically for you.

Congratulations on graduating. You’ve worked hard this year. Could have worked harder sometimes but you did it! Relax a bit during your gap year and enjoy your youth. Those art classes will be easy for you. Biomed visualization will be easy after pre-med studies.

Stop rolling your eyes and sighing. You know I’m right.

I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. I know you wanted it, but I don’t think I could have handled it. The truth is that I was ready to go a couple months ago when you started compiling your portfolio. For two years, I didn’t know why I was still here. At first, I thought my unfinished business was about the circumstances of my death. (Stop wincing. I’m dead. It’s a fact.) Then the administration stepped up. They did the bare minimum, to be honest, but at least changes were made. When you turned up, I thought I was supposed to fulfill my dream of going to med school. Turns out, I still have no idea what exactly why I was here, but seeing you live the life you want and choose the future you want makes me feel like business is finished.

To L/N Y/N, a star that will keep shining for decades to come—

I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve done so far. There are so many opportunities waiting out there for you, so don’t be afraid to take any chances. I’ll be with you always.

[cakerybakery]

If you’re still accepting adamsapple writing suggestions: Adam is pregnant with Lucifer’s baby, and his father-of-humanity paternal instincts are telling him to build a stash of food and skins before the child arrives.

I am! Hope this works for you

Lucifer searched high and low for his work gloves. He didn’t need them, really. It wasn’t like his tools could do any real harm if his hand slipped. It just hurt and he would bleed, and then he had to clean that up. The leather gloves were useful.

After half an hour, he gave up. Lucifer went back to his workshop and went to grab his work apron.

It was gone.

It had just been here.

He sighed and sat down. He would just get shavings on his clothing and be careful while he painted. Lucifer told himself it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like he couldn’t snap his fingers and fix his clothing. Lucifer set to work.

A few days later he searched the whole kitchen for the peanut butter. They just bought some! Lucifer remembered it distinctly. Adam insisted on buying a couple of the large jars. Honey too.

Actually Adam had insisted they needed to stock up a lot of shelf stable foods.

Never in his existence had Lucifer purchased canned fruit and fruit cups. But Adam had been so certain he needed it that Lucifer stopped arguing. He helped Adam fill up two carts of things like granola bars, different nut butters, crackers, preserved fruit and pickled items. The idea of eating a pickled egg turned Lucifer’s stomach but Adam said he wanted to eat them all, right there in the store.

He waited until the car.

But now the cupboard looked bare of anything they bought. There should be a hundred jars of pickled carrots, asparagus, beets, tiny ass onions, and eggs. Where are all the cans of tuna? The canned chicken and ham? They had bought out the beef jerky, but it was gone.

Lucifer grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl. At least they still had that. Maybe Adam put the food in the cellar? He’d have to remember to ask later.

Adam was constantly rearranging things lately. Perhaps he moved them.

He tossed the banana skin and headed to the den to watch some tv. Lucifer rarely watched TV anymore.

For a few years after Lilith left he became one with his couch. When he finally pried himself up one day, Charlie had moved out. Who knows for how long. He avoided it these days, too many bad associations of that dark time.

But there were special occasions where he watched TV. Like when Charlie’s new ad was going to air.

He crossed the den to turn on the tv, his boots clacking on the hardwood floor, when he paused. He stepped again.

Clack.

Again.

Clack.

That wasn’t right.

Lucifer looked down and did a little turn in disbelief. Where the fuck was that bear skin rug? Adam had gifted it to him.

He had killed the bear himself and gifted the hide to Lucifer. It still took Lucifer a month to realize the mountain of bear meat Adam had gifting to Charlie and him was how Adam flirted.

Adam was proving he could care for Lucifer and Charlie. It was funny, no matter how advanced the world gets, Adam still held onto so many of his instincts.

Lucifer thought about calling the cops. But who would break into the king of hell’s home and steal his bear skin rug?

It was far more logical that Adam moved it. Lucifer didn’t know why. But Adam had rearranged their bedroom the week before, claiming it just needed to be changed.

Adam vacuumed and scrubbed the floors and walls of their bedroom and ensuite bathroom. The drapes had been taken down and had the dust beaten out of them. All the linens were washed. All the towels. Every nook and cranny cleaned.

Lucifer had been set to work and using magic only upset Adam, because, “that’s not clean! It needs to smell clean!”

So he did his assigned tasks by hand.

Lately, there was only one place to find Adam. He hardly left their room it seemed like. Now that it was clean and arranged how he liked. It worries Lucifer but the guy seemed content and Lucifer didn’t want to upset him by suggesting something was wrong.

He opened the door and poked his head in. Lucifer was about to ask about the rug but it was lying on the bed.

A frustrated Adam was pacing the floor and clicking furiously on his phone.

As Lucifer went in he noticed that there were now drawers under the bed. He gave that an eyebrow raise. When had that happened?

“Adam? You okay?”

“No! The cowhide I wanted is on back order! It won’t be here for another month! I don’t have a month!”

“I see you moved the rug.” Lucifer closed the door behind him and nodded at the rug on their bed.

Adam just hummed and continued to pace. A hand slipped down and rested on his belly.

Lucifer had noticed that as well. The past several months Adam touched his stomach more. Lucifer had tried to be reassuring. He liked the weight gain. Adam was looking hotter.

Adam took the compliments but still hid in loose clothing. Still put a hand to his belly like he was thinking about the weight gain. Staring off into the distance. Sometimes not allowing Lucifer to touch him.

At least he always look happy. But he was going to the doctor’s a lot. Adam refused to let him come. Got jittery about it.

Jealousy had flared up in Lucifer months ago. He’d followed Adam sure, just positive, that Adam was cheating. But he went to a doctor’s office like he said he was going to do.

Lucifer looked up the doctor. Doctor Jillian Hutters OB/GYN. He felt an immense sense of relief when he looked her up. Adam wouldn’t cheat on him with some sinner woman.

Sinners were all his descendants. Adam didn’t fuck descendants. It was nice that he was visiting his many times great grandchildren. Lucifer never questioned Adam again. Every bit of curiosity at Adam behaviour Lucifer squished down and told himself he was probably just getting jealous again over nothing and to let it go.

Lucifer followed as Adam paced nervously across the bedroom.

Suddenly Adam paused and tensed. He let out a muffled scream and panted once it was done.

“Adam? Are you okay?” Lucifer reached up to touch him when Adam whipped around.

“Get out!” Lucifer was shoved out of the room and it was slammed shut and locked behind him.

He pounded on the door for several minutes. Lucifer could teleport or open a portal or simply blow the door off its hinges but when he hard Adam cry out again doctor Hutters jumped to the front of his mind.

Pacing he called the office. If Lucifer was a less prideful man he might have been ashamed of his behaviour on the phone. Instead he welded his power as king like his dick and commanded the sinner to come to the palace.

When she arrived half an hour later she shoved her coat into Lucifer’s hands and followed the sound of Adam screaming.

By the time Lucifer got up to the bedroom the door was slammed shut in his face again.

It was only a couple minutes but he was sent for clean linens. The doctor opened the door just long enough to take them from Lucifer. Then he was sent for ice chips. He created those with a snap.

Outside the door he paced for hours as Adam’s screaming grew more intense and closer together. He wished now the walls were thinner so he could hear what the doctor was saying.

Suddenly it stopped and Lucifer was about to tear the door down to find out why it had suddenly gone silent when the door opened.

“Congratulations, dad. It’s a boy.” She stood aside and allowed the confused king to come inside.

The afternoon light filtered through the windows and on the bed Adam rested against the headboard, holding a small bundle of blankets.

Lucifer’s arms shook as he climbed onto the bed and crawled across the mattress to Adam.

He gave Lucifer a tired smile, and turned the bundle toward Lucifer. A little sleepy face peaked out. It yawned and blinked up at him.

Adam handed the boy over and Lucifer loved him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lucifer asked quietly, afraid of the answer.

“I was afraid of getting your hopes up and losing him. What it would do to you. I hoped. If he didn’t make it, then at least you wouldn’t have time to love him before he was buried. Like the others.”

The graveyard of Charlie’s siblings. A place just out of sight, but never far out of mind. The ones that never made it. So many were just headstones to remember that for a bit, they had hoped that this time, this time it would work.

“He’s healthy.” The doctor interrupted their dark thoughts. “I’ll alert the home care team to come and do the follow ups. I’ve written down his birth information on this card.” She handed over a blue card containing his weight and height and time of birth. “Congratulations again, your highnesses.”

She left them and saw herself out.

“You still should have told me.” Lucifer didn’t want to make Adam feel bad, he just wasn’t as fragile as Adam seemed to think. “Next time, tell me, okay?”

Adam agreed. “I’m starving. You want a snack?” He winced as he leaned over the bed, opened a drawer, and pulled out peanut butter and crackers.

“I was looking for that! Is there where the food ended up?”

“I needed it close by. For after the baby was born. So we wouldn’t have to leave the room.” Adam flushed as he settled back against the headboard to eat his food.

Lucifer scooted back with him and took a couple crackers. He hadn’t noticed in all the worrying but he was hungry. That banana didn’t last long.

They polished off the sleeve and Adam was looking ready to sleep when the doorbell rang.

Passing over the baby for Adam to cuddle, Lucifer went to the front door.

His cellphone buzzed on the floor. Lucifer figured he must have dropped it when the doctor came in and not noticed.

He picked it up and saw the numerous missed calls and texts from Charlie.

Lucifer didn’t need to hear or read the messages to guess that Charlie was probably freaked out by the lack of response. He opened the door to a few people that doctor Hutter sent, gave them directs up to the bedroom, and called Charlie.

It barely rang when Charlie picked up. “Dad! Are you okay? What happened? Why haven’t you been answering my calls?”

“Everything is fine. But you should come visit tomorrow. There’s someone I want you to meet.” Lucifer explained what happened and apologized for missing her commercial.

Charlie didn’t care. She was too excited about the baby and promised to come over tomorrow afternoon and let them rest.

Lucifer passed the nurses on the stairs and they congratulated him once more. He crawled into the bed with Adam and the baby. Both were asleep.

Pulling the blanket up and over them, Lucifer stuck a hand under his pillow to settle in for a nap as well.

He grasped something under the pillow and pulled it out.

His work gloves!

[cottoncandiescupcakes]

Tip for autistic, disabled or otherwise people that struggle cooking/eating/cutting/remembering vegetables:

get cherry tomatoes, mini cucumbers, radishes, baby carrots, celery, just pick which you hate the least and eat a few whenever you make a sandwich, snack or when you're getting a drink, don't have to cook it, peel it or cut it.

Slightly more work but also good: half an avocado on a piece of bread

Easy to eat no cut or peel fruit:

banana(really simple peel), strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, pre sliced mango or pineapple, cherries(though there's a pit inside), prunes, grapes(though a bit choke hazard like cherries)

Like for example earlier I had two slices of wholegrain bread with two slices of gouda cheese and I just ate some cherry tomatoes and radishes with it

[ninaswritingstuff]

Have a little snippet of something I wrote for my TimKon Clone Baby AU. Technically it's an ABO-verse, but nothing in this snippet actually refers to that, so this could be read as a Tim-is-trans universe.

Enjoy!

The commercials always make this stuff look easy, Kon thought, glancing between the half-empty glass jar of mashed bananas in his hand and the banana mush-smeared face of his son.

Danny was apparently in A Mood this morning. It didn’t happen often, as Danny was normally a pretty agreeable baby so long as his diaper was clean and his favorite stuffed animal was in reach, but sometimes the kid just woke up and chose violence. At least Kon had yet to be hit in the face with the stuffed rabbit Danny drug around everywhere, so overall not a bad morning.

Ellie had, surprisingly, been the easy one this morning, happily taking her portion of mashed banana. Bananas were a winning strategy with that kid; pears came in a close second. Kon hadn’t realized a baby could glower with the best of them until he’d tried to feed her mashed sweet potato. She was only marginally less hostile to mashed carrots and mashed peas.

He really hoped that wasn’t a preview of coming attractions.

“What’s got you in a mood this morning, squirt,” Kon asked. “Normally you love bananas.”

“Bah,” Danny replied, sounded way too resolute for a five-month-old.

“If you’re still miffed about the formula thing, I feel you, but it’s really the only option you’ve got at the moment.”

“Bah!”

Unlike his sister, Danny had an allergy to standard formula. Thankfully, Alfred had found a soy-based alternative that Danny wasn’t allergic to, because Tim had only been able to pump so much before he’d taken off to go find Bruce and Kon had no clue how he was gonna keep his son fed while Tim was gone when he ran out of milk. Danny had not taken the switch well, and Kon had questions about that ‘seven years under a yellow sun’ thing because the strength with which his son had shoved the bottle away the first few times could not be normal baby strength.

But answering those questions involved talking to Clark, and Kon was very much not in the mood to do that. If it wasn’t for Bart agreeing to tag along with Tim since Kon couldn’t, he was pretty sure any interaction with Clark would result in someone getting socked in the face. Even with Bart watching Tim’s six, Kon still had the urge to punch Clark in the face. How exactly was it crazy to think that maybe Batman wasn’t actually dead? So what if they’d had a body to bury? Kon had left a body, and he had come back alive and kicking. Clark himself had died and left a body only to come back later alive and kicking. Was it a long shot? Sure. Kon would give him that. But no more of one than half the shit they pulled off on a regular basis.

Kon’s entire existence was a long shot. So was Danny’s. Ellie’s was, too, if you thought about it. If Jason Todd hadn’t spontaneously resurrected for no discernible reason, he wouldn’t have been picked up by the League of Assassins and dunked in the radioactive kool-aid. He wouldn’t have come back to Gotham and hunted down Tim, beating him with an inch of his life. And if Jason hadn’t done any of that, Tim wouldn’t have been put on the antibiotics during his recovery that neutralized his suppressants and birth control, leaving him heating and fertile when Kon fucked him.

Long shots were pretty damn common in their line of work.

“Well, if bananas aren’t going to cut it today, what will?”

“Ooogah ohm da!”

All of the languages CADMUS had crammed into his head, and baby babble wasn’t one of them. With a sigh, Kon screwed the lid back on the banana jar and went to see what else was available. If Danny had a thing against bananas today, he’d probably refuse to eat the mashed pears. Kon grabbed a jar of mashed peas.

“Alright, kiddo, let’s try this again,” Kon said, settling back into his seat and opening the jar. “Open wide!”

Danny watched as Kon brought the small spoon, loaded with mashed green peas, closer to his face. In a display of proof that maybe there was, in fact, a god, Danny accepted the spoonful and swallowed after a moment of mulling it over.

“Oh thank fuck,” Kon muttered, loading up another spoonful. He needed to get at least another four or five spoonfuls into the kid before he could call it quits.

Transitioning the twins to solids was way more complicated than it sounded. Everyone seemed to have a different opinion about it, offered up a different timetable, and presented different lists of which types of foods are best for babies. He was more or less splitting the difference and hoping he was close enough. It had been two weeks, and so far neither of the twins had gotten sick or shown any other adverse reactions to additions in their diet. So he was tentatively calling it a win.

It was hard to tell if Danny was being deliberately difficult or if he was just randomly pickier than usual as Kon tried everything he could think of to get his son to cooperate. Danny hadn’t flatout rejected the mashed peas, seemed to have no problem actually eating the mush once Kon managed to get it into his mouth, but the little boy kept squirming around like the world’s most active bobble-head.

He didn’t catch the set of footsteps quite as quick as he otherwise would if he weren’t running on a third of his usual sleep schedule. Dick’s footsteps were light---most of the Bats’ were, save for Red Hood---and he moved like the highly skilled acrobat he was. He was able to sneak up on him if Kon wasn’t paying attention; even Tim hadn’t gotten that good yet.

“Good morning, Ella-bean,” Dick said, bending down a bit to get on eye-level with Ellie in her highchair. “Looks like someone had fun for breakfast.”

Half of a banana had been sacrificed to keep Ellie distracted and occupied long enough to feed Danny; Kon suppressed a shudder every time he glanced over to check on her. She’d mashed the poor fruit into a barely recognizable paste and it was smeared all over her face, clothes, and hair. She was going to need a bath.

“I take it bananas aren’t going over well with Thing 2?”

“I switched to the peas,” Kon replied. “He hasn’t spit them out yet, but he’s also not really bothering to cooperate, either, so…”

“He’s probably had enough, then. I can go give Thing 1 here a quick bath if you wanna get him cleaned up,” Dick offered, already pulling Ellie out of her seat.

She squealed and flailed her tiny, pudgy arms before settling into Dick’s arms and deciding to suck on her banana-coated thumb. Kon took a deep breath and recapped the mashed peas.

“Yeah, probably a good idea. I’ll go grab a spare onesie for her.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Dick assured him. “The nursery’s on the way to the bathroom, I can just pop in and grab something. The DVR should still be set up for The Wiggles re-runs. Ellie and I will join you two once she no longer looks like she took on Condiment King.”

Kon snorted.

Honestly, Danny was only a bit cleaner than his sister. He’d probably have to wrangle him into a clean onesie, giving the smears of green on Danny’s current one. Hopefully he’d be more cooperative with that than he was with breakfast. Kon should probably send a complaint into Gerber; their commercials were full of lies. Even if none of the baby food jars in the manor were Gerber brand.

He snagged a small handful of baby wipes and set to work wiping away the smears of mashed peas and bananas from his son’s face. In keeping with the apparent theme of the morning, Danny squirmed away from the wipes and whined in protest.

“I know, I know, but you’ll be happier when you’re clean.”

“Bah,” Danny retorted.

“You are just as much of a menace as your sister,” Kon commented, a half-smile on his face. “You’re just quieter about it, huh?”

“Mah ohm bah!”

Once Danny’s face and hands were clear of mash, Kon stood up and lifted the infant out of his high chair. Danny shrieked and kicked, giggling as Kon settled him in a more secure hold. That tiny little fist of his gripped at Kon’s shirt, but he didn’t otherwise squirm.

“Alright, let’s go get you into something clean, and then we can check in on Ellie and Uncle Dick. Sound good?”

“Bah!

Kon was particularly careful when he set about getting Danny changed. He’d made that mistake exactly once. Cute as Danny was when he was giggling up a storm, he could find something else to giggle about.

[plumbiub]

okay.. aparently tumblr wants to see my doghter (i'm watching at you @flovoid, this is for you friend (๑>◡<๑) ) so here are some pics enjoy !!

okay so let me tell you more about lola (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

her name is lola (as you know) and she is two ! i found her outside a supermarket and she was so little and skinny. i like to say that she is a christmas miracle bc i found her on december 23 lmao

she is small lit two apples tall lmao

her favourite food is chicken but not any chicken, her fav is my mum roast chicken lmao

she also has a sweet tooth ! she likes a well ripe banana, apples and strawberries (she loves loves LOVES some frozen grated apple in the summer) she also likes veggies like carrot and pumpkin

my dad says she is my twin, it's like we are conjoined by the hip lol bc she follows me everywhere i go, it doesn't matter where she is going to be there. she knows how to open the door !!! my wisey girl

i'm not kidding when i said that she doesn't know what a personal space is. we sleep together okay and she sleeps close to me like the closest she can be and !!! she gets warm like a lot and in winter is fine but in summer is horrible

she likes to sleep (like me ofc) a lot !! but she is a very active dog, we walk every morning for around an hour, an hour and a half or so bc if she doesn't drain all her energy she ends up destroying whatever she finds (shoes, a sofa, toys, a blanket). she is just a girl i guess

i don't know what else to you. i love her so much ! she is a lovely, super friendly and loving girl, she has her actitude though sometimes she is grumpy and gets mad easily, sometimes vengeful and spiteful lol but she forgets and always ends up giving a lot of kisses ! <3

so yeah, i hope you love her as much as i do or at least some of this pictures make you happy and break an smile („• ֊ •„)

bonus pic: lola waking up from her nap lol

[vivaciousdomo]

Vegan BG3

I've been doing a vegan play through of BG3. Like, I'm still a durge, and evil, but I try not to kill animals, and I don't consume meat or cheese. Is anyone else doing this? Any mods to add more vegan items? Also, am I missing the beans? Ye olde europe would have eaten a bunch of beans, right? How do I get protein if no beans?

List of Vegan Foods

apple/half eaten apple

bagel

baguette

banana (how is this in in europe?)

bread/stale bread

cabbage

carrot

courgette

fragrant fungus stew

garlic

glow cap mushroom

good berry

grapes (green/purple)

gruel

horseradish

kiwi

lemon

lettuce

mushroom soup

onion

onion soup

orange

pale mint

pear

potato/boiled potato

potato porridge

pumpkin soup

pumpkin

raspberry

red pepper

sourdough bread

split pea soup

sun melon/half a sun melon

sweet potato

vegetable broth

walnut

(I accidentally ate the supply pack, but it has cured meats in it and "smells distinctly of smoked ham", so I won't make that mistake again. Let's just say Lae'zel ate them 🤷 Also can't eat the berry tart because it's got butter in it.)

Maybe Vegan?

biscuit (seems to be an oatmeal raisin which can be made vegan)

everything soup (description is "named for the halfling tradition of frantically raiding the pantry or garden upon the unexpected arrival of a guest")

puff pastry braid (unsure if butter was used here)

sunflower seed bun (unsure if has butter)

treacle tart (maybe butter?)

Drinks

amnian dessert wine

arkhen's hoard (wine?)

ashaba dusk (wine)

baldur's grape (wine)

blackstaff

barrel-aged callidyrran (…whisky? rum?)

carafe of wine

chultan fireswill (wine)

common table wine

eigersstor noblerot (??? probably vegan?)

esmeltar red

highsun liqueur

ithbank (wine)

mermaid whiskey

mug of beer/pitcher of beer

plum fizz (wine?)

port sherry

rolling deck rum

tyche pink (rose?)

wine (regular wine???)

Non alcoholic drinks

the water from the well outside the Hag's house (can't bottle and carry in your pack though and maybe has dead human bodies given the smell 🤔)

health potions? (can't long rest with them tho :<)

tea

coffee

I'll update this if/when I find other vegan foods and drinks, for your RP pleasure.

I'd also be so down to try and make a vegan bg3 cookbook. I know the lady with the big pot of gruel says she can't find salt easily, so maybe easy on the salt, but we have garlic and onion, so we have at least some flavor 🤔 oh, and there's a red pepper, so we can have some spice, maybe. brb, starting a Vegan Baldur's Gate 3 cookbook?

[revelforevermore]

The Ministry Playing Among Us

I had way too much fun with the Minecraft prompt, so this one was in order!

~~~

Prompt: During lockdown a few years ago when boredom began to set in, the Ministry discovered a new game to pass the time called Among Us.

Sister Imperator: She doesn’t partake…though there’s a “PimpMomma69” that will randomly appear in the group game at random intervals that’s sus.

Papa Nihil: He’s fucking useless in this game. Everyone knows when he’s the Impostor because he either: 1) asks in the chat why he can kill others or 2) he gets stuck clicking on the vent repeatedly so he’s doing a wack-a-mole type thing. 

Copia: He gets scared by the music of Among Us so he usually has the volume down. His favorite task is shooting meteors; least favorite is electrical, since that’s where he ALWAYS gets killed. Dew always convinces everyone else that he’s the Impostor and gets his ass booted early on. Copia gets upset when no one listens to him; he can’t lie, he’s always honest in the chat, and no one ever believes him. His little dude has the rat companion. 

Aether: Doesn’t play often, but when he does, he’s typically a crewmate. He oversees the discussion over finding out who is the Impostor (even on the off chance it’s him). He helps with the buddy system when there’s fewer left. He usually gets killed first though by the boys. He’s never been voted out of the round before. He’s the yellow crewmate and goes by “Banana”. Dew stole his phone and changed it to “BananaBitch”.

Dew/Sodo: Complete menace. He will burn every bridge and destroy every bloodline if it means he wins. Everyone automatically assumes he’s the Impostor because he will chase others around while they do tasks. He’s freaked Aether out doing this a lot. He gets a lot of false votes for this which pisses him off ENDLESSLY—and has led to him actually leaving the games every once in a while. As the Impostor, he vents really well. Goes for Aether first. Always leaves Cumulus as the survivor (he feels bad). Hates being a crewmate. Hates being a ghost more (though he likes to haunt Copia). He and Swiss have a separate chat outside of the game to cheat.

Sunshine: She’s in it to witness the smackdown fights in the chat. She likes letting the boys fight when she’s Impostor and targets them first; somehow always ends up winning the round or gets discovered very early, no in-between. She likes to fix the power in the game, but gets pissed when everyone else tries flipping the switches at the same time. She claims the orange crewmate. Refuses the other colors. She added a sprout to her head and sometimes goes by “Carrot”. 

Rain: He spends more time running around hyper fixated on the companion running with him than actually doing anything (his companion is the little dog). He doesn’t like to be Impostor since he feels it’s too much pressure and he enjoys doing the tasks. The type to accidentally vote himself out of the game, and usually he says “it was blue” while he’s cyan (Dew and Swiss can’t tell the difference, “blue is fucking blue” has been said more than once). When he gets killed, his ghost stays planted next to where his companion is sitting. When he suggests someone is sus, everyone jumps that person since Rain is usually right.

Cirrus: She’s silent but deadly. She’s excellent at pretending to do her tasks and often only kills a crew mate if there’s absolutely no chance of getting caught; she waits. She strikes quickly towards the end and gets a high kill count—often someone will find a body and suddenly four other players are OUT. Can often be heard giggling in real life while playing completely innocent.

Mountain: He’s a magnet for the harder tasks in the game, which is good since he can do them easily. He’s one of the first to get sniped since he’s good at catching Impostors and calling a meeting before he gets killed. He’s typically the scapegoat. As Impostor, he’s good at being sly—but usually gets found out before he gets more than three kills. His little crewmate is green with a sprout out of his head.

Cumulus: Nobody likes to kill her in the game since she’s more focused on completing tasks. She's in her own little world most of the time. Carefully crafts what she wants her crewmate to look like. Will actively mourn when the ghoulettes get killed. Her as Impostor is a different story; everyone dreads that. She’s always the least suspect since everyone’s so used to her doing tasks and being honest about it. It helps that she uses that innocence to be like “hey i didn’t know we could vent but i saw green doing it!”. She is the type to befriend a crewmate and quickly snipe them, then giggle and say “sorry but it’s the rules”. Her first target is always Dew. 

Swiss: Is the type to write “Red is sus” when he’s Red—or “guys I was in the vent it wasn’t me”. He’s the boy who cried wolf and is the type to get into serious arguments about who’s the Impostor. He thinks he’s Sherlock Holmes when he’s Officer Doofy. He’s a lot like Dew in the game, and they have a buddy system where they work together. Once when Swiss was the only Impostor, he killed Dew and they fought in real life about it for a few minutes. Once they calmed down, they started a new round. The same thing happened again and Among Us was barred from the Den for the evening.

[spiteless-xo]

we've been given jean sfw/nsfw thoughts and porco sfw/nsfw thoughts.... since ur converting what are ur thoughts on eren

yes yes yes absolutely here you gooooo 🥰 nsfw under the cut

eren jaeger headcanons

i feel like he’s constantly eating. since he’s a gym rat (to maintain that 8-pack), he’s always eating to make sure he’s getting enough calories. and sometimes it’s normal stuff like bananas or apples but often he’ll just eat a whole cucumber or carrot, uncut, just like chomping on it 💀 smacking his lips, being disruptive

this man doesn’t know how to cook. he knows how to make unseasoned chicken breast and rice and that’s about it. so if you ever cook for him he goes nuts about how good your food is

also he’s very unadventurous when it comes to food. if you go out for dinner, this man is asking for chicken fingers and fries 💀

takes REALLY good care of his hair. he discovered that using separate shampoo and conditioner makes his hair feel better than the 2-in-1 stuff and then he just went down a rabbit hole of hair care. his hair routine is insane but it’s worth it because now it’s super soft and silky and smells nice 🥰

he’s a gym rat himself, but he doesn’t care if you are too or not. if you are, or if you ask to come with him to his gym, he gets really excited. he racks all your weights for you, he shows you his warmup…… he doesn’t even workout himself, he’s just so excited to help you. and then he’ll wave over all his gym friends and be like hey you gotta meet my girl!! like so proud and excited with you

he can’t help himself from grabbing your ass 🥺 anytime you walk by, he’ll grope you. if you bed over, he’s snapping his wrist back to slap your ass, he can’t help it 🥺🥺 even in public. and it’s worse if you’re wearing a dress because he’ll just stick his hands up underneath

if he hears you get into the shower, he’s RUSHING to go join you. throwing his clothes off as he’s running through the house and then stepping in the shower behind you

you’re just trying to get clean but he keeps grabbing your tits and grinding against your ass until you tell him to fuck off or to fuck you 🙊

if you guys are hanging out he wants you seated on his lap. he prefers it when you’re straddling him but he’ll settle for your back against his chest. he just really likes that close physical contact and it makes it a lot easier to initiate sex if you’re already sitting on his dick

i feel like he would LOVE filming you or taking pictures during sex. his phone is filled with pictures of his cock slick from your pussy or your lips wrapped around him or your fucked out, post-orgasm face. he’d have one of the least-nsfw pics as his phone background too. like a picture of you half-dressed smiling down at him when he’s balls deep in you and everyone thinks it’s so cute and he’s like 😏 you should see the rest of it

he’s always online reading up sex tips or finding new positions so he can try them out with you 💀 sex is like a sport to him. if you guys aren’t breathing hard and dripping sweat and sore all over, you didn’t go hard enough. sometimes when he shows you something new he wants to try, you’re apprehensive, but every single time you’re moaning and creaming on his cock and he’s all smug like, see? i fuckin told you you’d like this. feel how deep i am baby? you’re making such a mess all over my cock. feels so fuckin good huh? i told you.

[anipgarden]

Oh yeah just because I feel like rambling

If my garden plans work out as intended it's gonna be absolutely banging this year. The only thing that could stop me is my bad watering memory skills, my bad weeding skills, and my tendency to step on things on accident.

But even with just the vegetables and fruits the plan is

Tomatoes. Hoo buddy the tomatoes. Last year I had 12 tomatoes (6 romas and 6 beefsteaks) but the 6 cells I picked up had extras in them, which means if I separate them well enough I can get 7 beefsteaks and 14 roma tomato plants. I'm gonna have to find space. But goddammit I will find space.

Peppers. Just sweet banana peppers this time for now (bellpeppers grow too slow for too little reward imo) but I picked up a 6 cell of those. I've also still got some plants that hung on for the entirety of winter (Florida for the win) so whether or not those stay where they're at is. A Decision I'll have to make tomorrow.

I've already planted carrots and peas that are starting to come up, but I might plant more because I didn't get as many as I was hoping for by the tomato cages. I also planted lettuce seeds, cabbage seeds, and green onion seeds that I've seen not much results from so if those pop up they pop up but otherwise I think its a bit late to plant more? I'll recheck the extensions site.

I'm gonna try growing watermelon again!!! I got 3 bags of compost and at least one and a half of those bags is gonna be dedicated to making a nice mound to plant seeds in. The year we used fresh compost was the year they grew best, but trying to reuse the same mound in later years yielded not much in the span of results. Time for new compost on a new mound.

I'm gonna try growing zucchini and squash again this year! Some in my bins (might need a soil refresh, hence more compost) and some in the ground (we'll see how it goes). Hopefully if I start them now instead of waiting till April (I did NOT know I could plant them as early as late Feb until like 3 weeks ago in my area) then they'll get to a decent size before the snails and slugs get voracious. If not. We'll see what happens.

I might try growing cucumbers but idk man.

All this on top of my plans for growing swamp milkweed, purple coneflowers, rudbeckia, and more. I also still have rights over the front yard landscaping, so I'm responsible for finding more butterfly weed and liatris plants at the plant sales in April (the ones I planted in October are either still dormant or dead. Out of the 5 liatris I planted then I only see signs of 1 coming back, and none of the butterfly weeds. Fingers crossed though.)

All this to say. I'm excited! Fingers crossed, everyone!

[klaus-littlestwolf]

Random Thought: Bucky Barnes

Chef!Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes as a Chef

He is trying to get used to real food again after years of supplements and IVs or being force fed through a tube to keep him going as the Winter Soldier. He discovers after watching cooking videos online that the act of cooking is actually quite calming for him. He quickly learns what he likes and what he doesn’t, willing to try almost anything just to see if he enjoys something new.

Bucky loves sweet things! Just about any fruits except honeydew and cantaloupe, his favorite is plums! He’s also a big fan of grapes (green, not red) and peaches. Bananas and apples he can take or leave, and he loves watermelon.

He’s not a huge fan of sour things. He can handle spicy foods to a very high level without getting sick (he ate a ghost pepper by accident once) though he is picky about what spicy things he likes and he loves jalapeños.

He can chop vegetables faster than anyone else in the kitchen so when they needs things chopped in bulk Bucky just gets a cutting board and chops cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes and lettuce for 20 minutes and they’re set all day.

He can pick pans and trays up out of the oven without an oven mit with his left hand. Also, thanks to employees needing to wear gloves in the kitchen he can use the metal hand in front everyone. If after hours or before opening, anyone ever asks why he wears the gloves while not handling food he tells them he had an accident in the kitchen and got severely burned so no one ever minds that he never takes the glove off of his left hand.

He exclusively works in the kitchen so he rarely has to interact with anyone other than the other Chefs. He also has a fantastic memory, and never once gets an order wrong.

He makes friends with the other chefs and they share recipes, and one of them gets Bucky into baking as well. After work every day he will make himself something for dinner, take it home and set it on the counter. He’ll mix whatever it is that he’s trying next and put it into the oven before eating his dinner. Bucky loves brownies and he’s gotten good at making cake, just trying to make a 2 tier cake for the first time and it actually turned out pretty good. His absolute favorite though is banana bread, it is fantastic and he makes at least one, usually 2 every week so that he can have some for breakfast before he runs out the door every morning.

Bucky is people’s worst nightmare if he ever sees a waitress cry. The waitresses are all very nice to Bucky, and only one of them seems to be that way only because they think he’s attractive, he has a soft spot for them. Especially since they deal with the customers so he doesn’t have to, he feels for them knowing how cruel humans can be, even about the dumbest things. But if a customer takes it too far, if someone makes it personal, insulting or bitching at a waitress, Bucky will leave the kitchen. Everyone who works there knows Bucky leaving the kitchen is always a bad thing. He comes in the back door and leaves through the back door, there’s also an employee bathroom so he never has to enter the dining room, so when he does something is very wrong. Bucky is an intimidatingly large man, though everyone in the restaurant knows he’s basically a Pit bull puppy, sweet, gentle, loving and misunderstood for the way he looks. (Bucky Barnes really is exactly like a Pit bull! Only mean because people made him that way, always putting his trust in humans again after being fucked over and is the most kind hearted thing you’ve ever met in your life. Bucky Barnes is a Pitty!)

Bucky will remove all the plates from their tables and dump them into the trash right in front of you, and if he has to actually speak no one will get a word in edgewise. His voice is loud and deep, it commands attention and most grown men wouldn’t have the balls to snap back at him and the ones that try live to regret it. Bucky is a pro at getting people to swing first, as long as they do he is legally allowed to toss you out of the restaurant and he is more than happy to do it. He would never hit a women, however he will ensure she can’t swing at him again before carrying her out of the building, and for any man, (though there have only been 2 who are courageous enough to hit Bucky) they learn quickly that that’s stupid. One hit and they’re on the floor, one of the men was so dizzy he actually had to crawl out of the restaurant.

Bucky as a chef would be fantastic. Plus, I dare you to tell me that Bucky Barnes with his hair in a little bun while he cooks isn’t the cutest thing you’ve ever thought about in your life!

He can cook for me any day🥵🥵

Bucky Barnes Masterlist

Random Thoughts

[safetycar-restart]

Hiiii so first off, I've been being a bit of a lurker but I haven't sent an ask before, so is 🍀 taken? Can I be 🍀 anon?

Anyways tho, I've been thinking about hybrid! poly! Piarles and how they'd be if you got like a literal lil boo-boo. Like if you were chopping veggies for a lil snack for your Bunny and cut your finger. And poor lil Bunny feels soooo bad that you hurt yourself doing something for him, and Pierre goes a bit lizard brain (or ya know, wolf brain) at the sight/smell of a member of his pack bleeding. And it takes like a solid 5 minutes of trying to calm them down before Bunny picks you out one of his very best cute lil cartoon bandaids and Pierre insists on applying neosporin so diligently and carefully you'd think the man was performing brain surgery. And then cuddles of course, after such an ordeal obviously cuddles are mandatory.

Oh my god I love this idea so much? It's so fucking cute. I love the hybrid au so so much, we really need to discuss it more. I'll add your emoji to the claimed list :))

(Also this was heavily inspired by the concept of cutagens from the Witcher fandom though I have no idea if any of you will get that reference)

Firstly, I think bunny!Charles LOVES snacks. He is always munching on something, like carrots or apple slices or banana pieces or strawberries. He just loves having some healthy snacks, which is honestly adorable.

He especially loves when you make the snacks for him. He loves it so so much! Cause his mommy is making him snacks!! He's such a good bunny that his mommy is making him snacks!

So maybe you're in the kitchen, getting some snacks ready for your bunny while Pierre is in the living room choosing something to watch. The plan is that the three of you will have a chilled night in, just watching some movies and cuddling.

So naturally bunny needs his snacks!! (Which he will inevitably end up sharing with you and Pierre, because of course he will)

Pierre gets to choose the first movie, so while he chooses Charles decides that he must join you in the kitchen cause his mommy is looking after him so the least he can do is keep you company!!

He plops himself on the kitchen counter and watches as you cut up some fruit for his snack, babbling about the different movies he's thinking of picking when it's his turn.

And then your hand slips slightly as you're cutting the carrots and you slice your finger. It's not much, but it bleeds and it would definitely need a plaster. You just hiss a little when it starts to sting and then go to run some water over it.

Charles notices immediately, jumping off the counter and grabbing your hand to see for himself.

"Mommy!" he half shouts, "mommy you're hurt!"

You just chuckle and kiss his head, reassuring him that it's just a little cut and you'll be just fine. But he shakes his head and tears well up in his eyes, cause his mommy is bleeding! Because of him!

Before you can try to comfort your little bunny further, Pierre comes running into the kitchen. His eyes are wide, growling a little already because he smells blood. The moment his eyes land on your hand he's whining and pulling you into a tight hug.

"Hurt?" he asks, letting you go and examining your hand.

You try to pull your hand away but he growls and keeps his grip on it, brows burrowed because you're hurt! His pack is hurt!

You look to Charles for help, but he's zero help. Charles fully agrees with Pierre that this a massive deal and thinks that pierre's growling and holding your hand close to his chest are both entirely reasonable.

So Pierre keeps custody of your hand while Charles runs off to find a bandaid and some medicine to put on your very serious wound.

The entire time that Charles is looking, Pierre is cradling your hand against his chest and growling lightly. He is SO unhappy about a member of his pack bleeding.

And you're pretty sure if anyone other than Charles touched you or him right then, they would have lost an eye.

But luckily Charles arrives quickly with two pretty plasters and some medicine. Charles puts the items on the kitchen counter and then hugs you from behind, thinking that you need support while Pierre applies first aid.

Pierre says absolutely nothing as he gently applies the medicine and the bandaids. Which isnt surprising, because whenever you or Charles are hurt, he gets so upset and can't control his instincts. He communicates in growls and whines and will hurt anyone who gets too close because he must protect his pack.

Even if what he's protecting his pack against is a small cut.

Once everyone is finally satisfied that your injury has been cared for, you suggest going to the living room for cuddles because you know that neither of them will calm down properly without cuddles.

But Pierre shakes his head and then marches you and Charles to the living room. He pushes you both to the couch and fluffs the pillows around you two, he even grabs some blankets to put on you and Charles.

"Pierre?" you ask gently, "you gonna join us?"

Pierre shakes his head, "Bunny needs food," he says, then adds, "stay" and runs back to the kitchen to finish preparing the snack you were making before all of this happened.

You know better than to question him on this, because you know there's no way Pierre will calm until he thinks both his mates have been cared for, and he wouldn't think that if bunny goes hungry.

So finally once the snack is ready and in charles's hands, Pierre joins you both on the couch and can finally get cuddles.

He also doesn't let you or Charles out of his sight for the rest of the night.

[thefoodballoon]

What would be an ideal feast/stuffing for you?

OoooOOoohh such a good question!!

So, let's get this out of the way first. There are certain qualities to an ideal eating experience for me:

1. I need some level of variety of different kinds of foods and tastes as I can get tired of certain flavors sometimes and need a new one to keep going

2. I'm very plain when it comes to foods. I love sauces and seasonings, but I'm not usually a fan of mixing foods past something like a starch and a meat in the same bite. I always clean my plate. I just eat everything separately, so any dish that lets me do that is preferred

3. It needs to be possible to make a large quantity of it with bonus points if it expands in your stomach like rice (shocker, I know lmao).

With that in mind I think my ideal feast (and I'm gonna go into detail here) would be a huge multi-course meal a bunch of meats, veggies, and carbs.

Course 1: Salad and bread 🥗🥖🫃

The bread just regular baked bread you'd get at a restaurant. The salad huge with a mix of spinach and arugula topped with carrots, cucumbers, croutons, and a *ton* of ranch and cheddar cheese

Course 2: Pasta Dish 🍝🍗🥦🫃

I regularly make this dish for Lee and I because I grew up with it, and we both love it! What I do is boil some pasta (usually angel hair, spaghetti, or egg noodles), dice up a container of chicken and sauté that as well as some broccoli with lemon juice, garlic, this Garlic Herb and Wine seasoning from Mccormick, and just a bit of salt and then I mix the sautéed meat and veggies with the noodles to get the seasoning all over the pasta as well. It's absolutely to die for, and I could eat it forever, so it has to be a part of my ideal feast.

Course 3: Steak Dinner 🍖🫃

This is probably a basic American thought process, but whenever I think about getting to eat anything I want with no consequence, a big steak is always what comes to mind. Any kind is fine for me, so let's just say a medium rare sirloin that is at an absolute minimum 16oz. Then I'd have grilled/seasoned asparagus and a bowl of mashed potatoes on the side. It's simple but very tasty.

Final Course: Dessert 🎂🫃

This is the most free form part of the feast. Unlike Lee, I absolutely *love* sweets and can absolutely destroy huge amounts of sweet stuff. It could be a big ice cream sundae, a birthday cake, brownies, cookies, banana bread, pumpkin pie, anything. If it's sweet and baked, I won't be able to resist it. Call me Ego from Ratatouille cause my answer is: Surprise me!

By the end of this meal I'm sure I won't be able to move for at least a day, so please make sure rub and take care of my poor overworked tummy once it's all slowly turning into fat inside me...🫃🐷💕

Thank you for letting me indulge in this fantasy, and thank you so much for the ask!!💜❤️