#at least my number 3 post is something i'm genuinely really proud of

[dedicatedfollower467]

I posted 1,122 times in 2022

That's 240 more posts than 2021!

249 posts created (22%)

873 posts reblogged (78%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@icedragon19

@why-is-it-always-autumn

@nolightsinthedark

@dedicatedfollower467

@wuzzyletoastermac

I tagged 1,121 of my posts in 2022

#about me - 72 posts

#lol - 64 posts

#def is a gm - 62 posts

#motion warning - 57 posts

#def's grand webcomic re-read of 2022 - 57 posts

#video warning - 49 posts

#definitely adhd - 44 posts

#homestuck - 44 posts

#fandom - 38 posts

#def liveblogs fma manga - 38 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#it's less 'this is literally true' and more 'here are some interesting and notable cultural details about this particular time and place'

I sent 1 gift in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

my favorite thing about experiencing dracula daily with everyone on tumblr is knowing that most later adaptations have turned van helsing into like. this young, heroic vampire hunter who does nothing but hunt vampires all day, and maybe even has like a whole vampire-hunting legacy in his family.

when really he's just an old dutch professor who has done so much kooky research into every possible esoteric subject that exists that he just happens to be the one person in the story who knows a little bit about vampires.

370 notes - Posted September 22, 2022

#4

[image description in alt text]

hoo boy it's been a long-ass time since I have done an attempt at digital pencil coloring. this is technically a wip of a larger piece but i'm very pleased with how it turned out so i thought i'd share it now before i ruin it

385 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

#3

[image description in alt text]

it's finished! fanart i created for @vivifrage's fic "the spider and the wyrm."

i am INCREDIBLY proud of this piece. i haven't done this art style in a really, really long time and it turned out fantastic if i do say so myself.

i have become sliiiiightly obsessed with hollow knight over the past few weeks and may or may not become a black hole of hk content for the foreseeable future.

489 notes - Posted September 29, 2022

#2

if you miss dracula daily and you're interested in reading another classic work of literature in a bit at a time, whale weekly (which is a serialized version of moby dick) just started

1,242 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

one of the things i love about ebenezer scrooge, and a christmas carol in general, is that, unlike most fictional rich people, scrooge doesn't allow himself the luxuries that he denies to others.

like. he is enormously wealthy, but does he spend his money on good food and nice things and indulgences? no. he keeps his house dark because it's cheaper to not light things, he eats gruel, he barely even makes a big enough fire to heat himself, let alone the room. he scrimps and pinches pennies everywhere he can - including in areas that other people would consider "necessities" rather than "luxuries."

the story of a christmas carol is as much about ebenezer scrooge coming to realize that his misanthropy and miserliness is making himself as miserable as it's making everyone around him, and learning to once again take joy in living in a way he hasn't allowed himself since he was a boy.

it's genuinely cruel to ebenezer scrooge to compare him to assholes like elon musk and jeff bezos.

for all that he is a terrible, terrible person, at least scrooge isn't a damn hypocrite.

3,157 notes - Posted December 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[solei-eclipse]

hi para! i hope this doesn’t seem disingenuous or something just because two other people have sent asks regarding this same content but… i actually really care about you and i want you to know that it’s okay you may not post a lot about the original alien stage or just not be that interested in it in general. i’ve been like, your biggest fan since probably march (or earlier) of this year. i’ll tell you right now that i was really scared to reach out, interact, or talk to you because at the time, i had been using my real name on my blog and i was unsure if i wanted to go by it here just yet, so i only waited for you to post something new most days. i wasn’t really doing so great back then, because i was a little stressed and i had so much pressure piled up on me because of my rehearsals, my homework, my piano lessons, and life in general. i think your blog really kept me motivated and interested in alien stage (+ many other things) and i was always so excited to see a new post from you.

that being said, you’ve been one of my favorite people in the alien stage fandom and i freaked out in the best way possible when you followed me back. i don’t want you to feel pressured to post on shakingparadigm and i don’t want you to feel like you’re not being appreciative of your followers. i still love your content, para, and i want you to know that. when my life was going through a rough patch, when i was losing sleep during tech week, when i was working at my school on a weekend due to hosting a theater tournament, when i felt empty for days at a time, your blog was always there to keep me happy and i’ll never forget that. you’re really a wonderful person, and i want you to know that because you helped me so much without knowing it, i’d do that for you too. you don’t have to post very often for me to still enjoy everything you put out. please know that no matter what happens, i still cherish the memories i have of reading your posts and knowing that at least someone out there is as insane about alien stage as i am. it doesn’t matter to me what changes about you or your blog. i’ll always be your number one fan, so thank you for all you’ve done for me! i’m so so so so so grateful for everything. i care about you, and you deserve everything good in life. you’re not a content machine. you can take breaks. please take your time, and don’t rush yourself. you’ve always been human to me. nothing will ever EVER change that. i’ll never demand more content from you, and nobody ever should.

remember to drink water, get good sleep, and eat! i hope i worded this well… if it’s confusing or if it weirded you out, i’m sorry! i just really want you to know i care.

JUNE???? I teared up at this June. I don't know what to do with myself aaagh

I genuinely have no words. This means so much to me... No seriously I actually have no words right now I'm just. WOW. For that long?! I remember I was barely anyone back in March... mostly just talking to myself and the 3 or 4 people that interacted with me every now and then. I can't believe you've been with me for so long! June!!!!

I had no idea I could ever mean something like that to someone, I just started posting into the void and hoped I could be heard somehow. I don't know what to say... I'm really touched, and really grateful that I was able to help you in that way even though I was just spouting bullshit most of the time. I'm sorry to hear that you went through so much stress during that time, and all I can do is hope that you're in a better place. I'm proud of you for getting past that period. Stay strong!! I believe in you June!!

I'm so in awe. Thank you so much for your appreciation and your time and your patience. It always shakes me whenever someone deems me worthy of those things... I'll always be grateful for them. Thank you, thank you thank you thank you for deeming me worthwhile. It genuinely pulls at my heartstrings to think about.

Please don't call yourself just a fan, you're my friend and ever since we started interacting more here I've seen you that way. Your posts are so intriguing and your art is absolutely fantastic. It's such a joy to see all the wonderful things you make. I'm the one who should be grateful for bearing witness to all of it!

Thank you for your reassurance, I promise I'll try to take better care of myself. I want you to look after yourself too, please! I know you're still dealing with a lot right now, so don't forget that everything applies to you too. I wish you luck with all your endeavors and I hope you come out the other side just fine. I care about you as well, and i want you to know that you deserve all the good things in life, too! All the good things and more. I wish you the best!

This means so much to me. I keep saying that for so many things but that's just because it's true. It makes me laugh, actually, to realize how wrong I was on other people's perception of me. It's through everyone's kindness that I realize I should probably start being kinder to myself. You've helped me so much without knowing, too. I wholeheartedly thank you for it ...

Don't beat yourself up over anything. It's not at all disingenuous or confusing or weird. It's so achingly genuine that upon receiving the notification for this I dropped to the floor and stared at it unable to process. Thank you for your incredibly sweet and kind words, June, I'll be thinking about them for an incredibly long time. I care for you too, please remember that, and if you ever need help with anything don't be afraid to reach out. I'll be here <3

[kyurilin]

Fic Writer Interview

I have been tagged to do this by @plusultraetc and obviously I love talking about my fanfics so here will be more than you ever wanted to know!

How many works do you have on AO3?

At the moment 16! 11 MHA, 4 Cars, and 1 FNAF but y'know. We know which ones matter

What's your total AO3 word count?

218,641. That's a really big fucking number right there Jesus Christ. And with some of the chunky fics I have on there that number is only gonna get even stupider.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Present Mic's Totally Bullshit Life

2. Crumbled Rooftops

3. How To (Hopefully Not Fail) At Telling Your Bestie You Love Him

4. Stray

5. Our Little Horror Story

Actually quite a surprise to me that my erasercloud fic takes 3rd, and 5th is my single FNAF fic. Not at all surprised by 1st and 2nd though lmaooo

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

ALL THE TIME!!! I love responding to comments even if it's just with emojis, but I also like to ramble in responses to stuff. I wouldn't be able to live without responding to them I love talking to people about my fics and I get some really good in depth ones anytime someone braves 54k erasermic one shot and crumbled rooftops especially.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Honestly I feel it has to go to After, my post-Oboro death story featuring Nemuri and Shouta. The whole thing is sad and at the ending the closest thing to happiness the characters get is that at least they have each other, but Oboro's still gone.

Technically the super short This Isn't How The Story Goes where I killed Shouta in place of Oboro could take this too but we all know I'm not actually doing anything else with that (and trust me it would have gotten angstier but other people have done the concept better than I made an attempt at in 2021)

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Present Mic's Totally Bullshit Life, for fucking sure! Look, it's pre-canon erasermic figuring their shit out and getting together for 54k and it ends on them getting married. We know in canon that things are absolutely going to shit down the road but in the context of that story which starts with Hizashi thinking of himself as Mic and being a little too used to faking smiles ENDING ON him being genuinely happy at his own wedding is a fucking phenomenally happy ending. I'm incredibly proud of that ending. It's such a great ending on that story.

Do you write crossovers?

I USED TO, not so much anymore but back in the day I used to write Cars and Transformers crossovers lmaoooo

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Someone got real pissy on one of my old Kirby fanfics at one point, whining about how it was illogical that the Kirby villains would help Kirby fight a bigger bad guy. Hope that reviewer in particular felt stupid when Kirby Star Allies released and all the DLC was previous Kirby helpers and villains coming to help fight the big bad.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written some but it is lurking on my Google drive because I'm not ready to have smut out there on the internet that people can look at. That's about what I can say on that front 😭

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

GOD I hope not

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! People out here just want the Kyuri experience in English it seems which is fine, but if someone did want to translate my fics I think I'd ascend

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Honestly if it's a ship that involves Nemuri, Oboro, Hizashi, and Shouta in any combination, it's my favorite. Erasermic is the go to just because it's so damn easy to find but I'm also a sucker for Cloudnight, or Erasercloud, or Cloudmic and so on for the rest of them. Hell, Poly Rooftop Gang is something I really want to write at some point cause I have so many thoughts about their dynamic as a whole. There's really none within that group that I like less than others and if you name me a ship from it I have Thoughts And Feelings locked and loaded

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Technically going back to it, the extended This Isn't How The Story Goes idea where Shouta died instead of Oboro. I have PLANS. They exist!!! They're out there in my brain and pieces are on Google docs but it's been so long since I put anything together that it's just kind of dead in the water. The only reason I don't orphan that one on AO3 is that I like the way I wrote it.

What are your writing strengths?

I think characters. I've had a lot of compliments about the way I write characters in my fics and I really do feel like that's my strong point.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Whenever I have to get more than two characters to talk I feel like it comes across more stilted. I like having dialogue flow without having to use dialogue tags for stuff, but sometimes I have to use them for bigger conversations and I'm just dying on the inside thinking it sucks the whole time.

Also Big Info Dumps. I never know how this kind of thing comes across (example- the talk with Kurogiri from Crumbled Rooftops chapter 7 or the last segment of Stray chapter 2). I don't WANT to know how it comes across. I feel like sometimes I should reiterate that I'm autistic/ADHD and my mind is like 'you must infodump here'.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If I could speak another language i'd love to occasionally use that as a skill just for fun but the only time I've ever done this was using Google translate for an original novel based on an idea for a Kirby story I wrote and then the whole notebook got lost. So now the cringe lives in my head

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It was either Star Wars or Monsters Inc, and I truly don't remember which it was because I posted two separate things the same day on ff.net and don't remember which went up first.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I never think ahead fandomwise, but again. I WANT to write Poly Rooftop Gang SO BAD. I want to write for that dynamic so my thoughts can be out of my brain! This is a topic that has come up between me and @shabby-blog OFTEN! One day I will write the four of them together and the world will be made whole again 😌

What's your favorite fic you've written?

this is always such a hard question because I have three very large stories that are all beloved in their own right but today's answer is Stray

We're coming up on four years since I started writing it and I'm SLOWLY working on the last chapter, and it's got a very small but very dedicated group of readers and I just love that story so much. I went a crazy direction with it in terms of how I wrote it and the fact that people love it means a lot. I'm bound and determined to finish it even if it takes me a lot longer to finish it than I was hoping 😅

WELP that's all the questions I am free now and all the people I would have tagged have been tagged so HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYED THIS

[agentravensong]

two scenes i would add to nerdy prudes must die

the thing about being autistic is that i will have no motivation to sit down and write stuff for my grad school applications all day, but then at night i'll find it in me to spend 3+ hours writing a tumblr post about my latest hyperfixation ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

this time that hyperfixation is nerdy prudes must die, a show that, despite still not being my favorite starkid hatchetfield musical, has really dug its claws into me. i'm gonna detail two scenes that i think would add to certain character arcs, give ritchie (and ruth)'s death(s) more impact, and really drive home the show's themes. don't think i need much more preamble than that, so, here we go!

1. Second Lauter family scene

A scene set between Ritchie's death and Ruth's, fitting best in the plot as is right after "Hatchet Town".

Primary purpose: Show more of Steph's character and her relationship with her father; show that the attitudes that made the teens' high school experience hell (pre-ghost!max) are reinforced by the adults

Basic outline: Steph and her dad are having a convo, prompted by the mayor, about how school is going; a kind of convo that, with how awkward it is, clearly doesn't happen often. Lauter says something half-hearted about how it's a shame her high school experience is being ruined by these events, because it was the happiest time of his life (as a contrast to the opinions our protags express in the opening number).

Steph doesn't want to talk about the murder stuff (duh) so she redirects to how her grades have genuinely improved (or at least did for a minute there) thanks to her studying with Pete, in a way that makes it clear she's genuinely proud of her improvement.

Mayor Lauter, in response, tells her that he doesn't want her hanging out with the nerds anymore, in or out of school, because it makes her a target (and also a suspect).

Steph gets upset at this dismissal; what kind of dad, she scoffs, would tell their daughter who was finally succeeding academically to stop trying? Especially when he was the one who told her to get her grades up?

And Mayor Lauter says something to the effect of, "You don't need to be a star student. I know you, Stephanie; that's never going to be you. All you need to be is good enough. Can you just do that for me?"

We have the mayor leave at this point; let's say he gets a phone call, cause that makes sense, and also is a deeply ironic reason for him to leave a family conversation considering his criticism of Steph's phone use. Steph could even point that out as a joke.

Here is where, if we have time, we give Steph a solo number. Well, it could be a solo, or it could be a duet with her dad — the kind where they're not singing to each other or aware that the other is singing, but they're basically singing their different perspectives on the same thing (in this case, their relationship). I propose the duet version because Corey deserves to get to show off his vocals more prominently in these shows.

Alternate ending if we're not doing the song: Steph can storm out, and the mayor can have an ominous line foreshadowing the drastic measures he'll be taking when we see him again.

The idea with this scene is that I want to give more weight to the whole "she's smarter than she thinks she is" angle to Steph's character. Show that she has found something through her bond with the nerds (Pete mainly) that makes her want to be more than just the "cool girl". And show that there is a part of her that wants a better relationship with her father (because if he won't believe in her, be proud of her, then who will?).

But also, we see how her dad has pigeonholed her into being that kind of airhead. All he cares about is that she stays out of trouble (which is to say, anything that would cause trouble for him). He doesn't care what she's genuinely interested in, what she aspires to; he's spent most of her teenage-hood assuming she's not interested in anything worthwhile, that she doesn't aspire to anything. He doesn't see her as a full person.

And, perhaps most importantly, him telling her not to associate with the nerds draws a direct line between him and our main antagonist, Max. Which matters for reasons that will become clearer as I discuss the second additional scene I came up with.

For the record, if I only got to add one of these scenes (NPMD is the longest of the Hatchetfield shows already, and both these scenes would have to be Act 2 additions), I'd pick this next one. So let's get to it.

2. High School Regression scene

Primary purpose: Showing how the murder(s) has/have affected the student body, and making the point that the hierarchies Max represented can't be disposed of that easily when he's still, literally and metaphorically, haunting the place.

This one would happen in between when the protags find out about Ritchie's death and when Grace informs Pete and Steph of Ruth's death. Practically, this means it would have to be set either:

A) right before Ruth goes to the BBQ Monologues rehearsal, with the scene centering around her, and leading directly into her arrival there (maybe replacing the cop convo entirely? maybe they're at the end of it)

or B) as basically a replacement for the Beanie's scene, but still leading into "If I Loved You" (and everything that comes after)

The beat-by-beat for this one is less solid in my head compared to the first scene, but the idea is that we see some of the cheerleaders and jocks going back to bullying Ruth in version A or Pete in version B (though in a less confident and malicious manner than Max did, as if their hearts aren't fully in it). Ruth or Pete gives some pushback and asks what changed to make them revert to this behavior.

I'm not sure how exactly the bullies express the "why", but in plain-speak, it's this: the students know about Ritchie (and Ruth)'s murder(s), and, maybe more importantly, the "nerdy prudes must die" that was written in Richie's blood. The message they've taken from that is that there is a killer reinforcing the social hierarchies they all abandoned when Max died. And so, with that latent threat hanging in the air, these students have decided to fall in line, in the hopes that they'll therefore be spared. Maybe, even, the murders will stop.

(you could also have one or two kids who are genuinely almost as cruel as max and are using this as an excuse to going back to being the assholes they were before, but you'd need more proper set-up for such a character i think)

Version A is pretty straightforward. I like the idea of Pete and/or Steph being there as well so it isn't just Ruth experiencing the misery (considering where things go from here)... but I know that they need to be dressed as different characters for when Ruth gets to the auditorium, so that probably isn't practical. Maybe there'd be time for Mariah to have made that quick change if Joey really stretched out his bit? But I know the change was tight even for Angela as is.

For version B, you could have the bullies find Steph and Pete at or on their way to Beanie's and be assholes to them there (because it makes sense to me that Steph and Pete would want to have their potentially incriminating conversation off high school grounds), but I think it has more thematic punch to set it in the high school.

Wherever it's set, in version B, Steph and Pete talk a bit about how the bullies' regression sucks, how things are even worse now than they were before Max died, which then leads into their conversation as it is in the actual show over whose fault this all is.

With Pete specifically, I think it'd be neat to call back to what he said to Steph way back in the show about his desire to blend in, to be invisible. That maybe, for a little bit, he liked being accepted, being important (to one person in particular), but it wasn't worth it. And with Steph, if we do have the second dad convo in this version of the show, we can maybe have her comment on how even her dad seems to believe in this bullshit social hierarchy, how they might never escape it.

I mentioned in my post detailing my initial nerdy prudes thoughts that I wished Pete and Steph had a convo that felt like Paul and Emma's convo right before "Join Us and Die". Basically, this is my attempt to give these teens that, without adding an entirely new scene just for that.

As a whole, this scene is my best attempt to Make Something of the themes and plot threads that are so well set up but get kind of lost in the last... third? of the show. Plenty of people have rightly posted that the adults are the real villains of this story. Max isn't scary just because he's one guy; he's representative of larger ideas, a larger system, perpetuated by those adults. Hierarchy, competition, and domination, treated as the natural, necessary state of the world. A system that reduces the personhood of all those ensnared in it.

Those ideas won't just disappear with his death. Max might have peaked in high school even if he lived because of the specific brand of boisterous asshole he was, but the world that instilled those ideas in him, the world beyond high school, will keep fostering and enforcing them, in its more mundane, subtle (comparatively) ways. It will keep producing more Maxs, and more Solomon Lauters.

Like, the whole "fuck clivesdale" bit is a running joke, and a funny one! But, also, I think there's something to be said about the fact that both the teens and adults are all in on this seemingly one-way rivalry, and how much focus is placed on it, in a show about *bullying*. A show about people who have arbitrary labels slapped on them as an excuse to be cruel to them.

"you're fucking losers, and we'll kill you!" isn't that far off as a sentiment from "nerdy prudes must die", is it?

and, like. their team name is the clivesdale chemists. chemists, like, nerds. it's supposed to be part of the joke, i'm pretty sure, that they're named after something nerdy, not a cool animal. if that parallel isn't intentional, then, i dunno man. it's still there either way.

(see also: the musical motif underneath the "who will pray for me" section of nerdy prudes must die also appearing as the chorus of "hatchet town". a motif that plays both when max asks ritchie who will remember him (who will remember *them*), right before enacting his ultimate "justice", and when the adults twist their memories into an excuse for a witch hunt, their own paranoid search for "justice".)

In real life, getting rid of the one asshole at the top of a rotten system doesn't fix the system. If the non-nerdy teens in this school were impressionable enough that one asshole could make them all act in line with his arbitrary beliefs, then his haunting presence (even if they don't know it's literally his ghost) should absolutely have *some* effect on them too.

And I think if you included a scene like this, it would make all that stuff in the script that's subtext, or half-developed, feel like it really was intentional, purposeful.

Does that all make sense? I hope so.

I know that actually trying to fit both of these into the show would require cutting some other stuff down for time, and it would complicate scene transitions and maybe fuck with the overall pacing. Really, this is more a thought experiment than anything else. I'm just glad to have it out of my head after it's been brewing there for multiple days, There's other stuff I'd change if I were to do a full edit of the script, sure, but these are the big things that really would've made the show click for me on the level tgwdlm does.

[further-from-maths]

28th Feb 2024, 12:24

I'm back lol sorry for dropping off the face of this blog. that's what IB does to you I guess

Some very cool things have happened since I was last here in writing. I got all five offers back, and I've accepted a firm and insurance choice to two wonderful places!!! Their creative writing departments were wonderful, and the lecturers at my firm were genuinely inspiring to listen to. To get in, I need a 6 in English, and 36 points overall. I think I can do it. My current goals/predictions are:

HL English LangLit: 6 needed for uni, and I managed it in my one mock since switching up. If I get a 5 I can still get into my insurance just fine, but I REALLY want to get into my first choice if I can.

HL Psychology: 7 is the goal. I really want a 7, and there's no excuse barring a lack of revision to not get one. My psychology department is genuinely incredible, and I've done very well in all my mocks. I really want to make them proud so I'm hoping the essays they give us are kind.

HL Global Politics: 7 suggested by the mocks so far, but I'm not the most confident in my politics abilities. I do want a 7 in it if possible though because I really like my politics teacher and also want to make him proud lmao

SL CompSci: 7 almost certain considering my mock grades thus far. I'm not worried tbh.

SL Maths Analysis: 7 PLEASE Maths is so easy to revise and it's easy points!!

AB German: 6 is probably more realistic than a 7 because too many minor slip ups can sink the grade completely, but I really want a 7 too.

Core: 2 is what I'm expecting tbh. My EE and TOK were both fine but I don't think they were WOW yk. I'm expecting a B for my EE hopefully and a B for my TOK, but if I've made my corrections well then hugely maybe I can get an A, which would give 3 points????? That's assuming my EE is in fact B-worthy which I really have no clue about.

Obviously I want to get as high as I can, but if I get a minimum of a 6 in everything, that's still more than enough with Core. I know I'm extremely likely to get a 7 in at least CompSci, so at a minimum I'm thinking I'll get 39 unless core flops?? My goal is to get over 40 though:))))

I'm terrified of making some kind of mistake that gets me disqualified. I know that's irrational but the fear is still there. My English teacher kinda spooked me by saying someone once failed their diploma because they didn't put page numbers in their EE so uh.......................... woooooooo. I'malso terrified about AI writing affeciting me. I haven't touched AI for anything I've done for school ever, but I'm nervous that the AI checker will be bad:( And what if I haven't cited something correctly?????? aaaaaaaaaaaa:(((((((((( Also as a heads up, for this exact reason, I won't be liveblogging my exams lol. I don't want to risk saying anything I'm not supposed to regarding the exams, so I'll make notes and post about them after results day or so. If I post anything during exam season, it'll probably be good-luck posts and nothing more lmao.

We've finished content in pretty much every subject now, which is exciting!! IAs are nearly done -- just waiting for final confirmation that a handful of them are ready for submission, and I've got my computer science IA to finish correcting. The end is scarily close.

Feeling terrified, but as long as I keep my head down and work hard, it'll be alright. Less than 11 weeks left. Let’s do this.

75 days until.

[muldxr]

2022 writing review 🤍

another year has come and gone! i was tagged by @neondiamond @beardyboyzx @wabadabadaba @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 18

2. Word count posted for the year: ~56k

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry/Louis, with a dash of Zayn/Liam in my new fic

5. Story with the most: Kudos: greased lightnin’ [155] Bookmarks: Hill Country [54] Comment threads: Hill Country [17]

the rest is under the cut!

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Hill Country was a creative experience from start to end. I mentioned this one a lot this year, but there's nothing major I would change about it. I will always, genuinely, enjoy re-reading it and I thank everyone who gives it a chance

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): it was a really hard year so i don't want to be negative about any of my works <3 they all have their strengths

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: I appreciate @lululawrence for kindly reccing dark blue on her June podcast episode here! I was in awe because it is a fic that i didn't think anyone would enjoy - and she COMPARED IT to other iconic crackfics, and it's just a big honor to have this underrated gem on that list.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: lately my writing motivation has dwindled as the daylight disappeared, and i didn't have a very fun time writing in aug-oct but i'm prepared to do better in 2023

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: does Figs count? i loved the creativity that came with this style of poem and the 'scene' it sets up. i have been testing my limits with writing shorter but more impactful works this year

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: this is from after hours and i can't resist a scene where all hope is lost

“Harry, please, leave it.”

“I’ve been trying to hold onto something, to find something good out of the bad. Why don’t you?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“You said I’ve been too quiet. You said I wasn’t helping you figure it out, but I was. And I can’t be positive about it like you are, because the answer’s fucking obvious.” He makes a sweeping gesture at himself, an absolutely broken flick of the hand. He doesn’t bother to look at Harry. “It’s my fault.”

Then Harry can’t get a word in while Louis passes him, walking into the house. He doesn’t follow, not right away. Sooner or later he’ll have to go up, work through the stubbornly silent treatment to console Louis, and come up with an easier way to separate their guilt from what they have to do. 

That, and because, when the sound of footsteps returns, Harry realizes he has the keys.  

13. How do you hope to grow next year: 1) I want to continue betaing/cheerleading, so hit me up! 2) I hope i can write another 15k+ fic! that would be great because I enjoy the chance to sit with a plot/cast of characters for longer than a few months

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc): people who tagged me in snippet games!! i don't post those very often because it's hard for me to write more than a few sentences at a time and I have a lot of scattered dialogue and incomplete scenes, but i enjoy interacting with everyone

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:  this is a deep-dish-pizza-loving household, thus after hours gave it the attention it deserves. hill country also held a lot of texan essence~ and i'm glad i poured it in there. I-80 was inspired by a roadtrip. see-see was based on 15+ years of movie-going experiences (if i figure out how, i might write a longform deaf au, emphasis on might). i think that's it? i try to be creative and pull inspiration from things, but if it turns too personal it's difficult to not want it to be 100% perfect

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: not to say this applies to everyone - but I have learned in the last 1.5 years of writing fic, it's important to take things in moderation when planning wips and committing to fests. i learned this the hard way, and it made me reevaluate my connection to writing and taking care of myself

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: it's a slow year! I am working on fics for @harryrarepairfest and @omegaharryfest due in March before I take a personal break. Then two more projects finished by November? I'm also open to writing for other fandoms 🫣

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. @allwaswell16 @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @onlythebravest @tommokat @beelou @phd-mama @littleroverlouis @starsweredible @thedevilinmybrain and who else wants to share!

[ganondorf--apologist]

(Genuinely curious to see your top five!) :3cc Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

dakjsfkljaslkfjsa;kldfj yus! All of these are hk ones lol, which are all set in the In Defiance of Time fic series, but without further ado-

Chili's Top 5 Self Recs:

In Defiance of Time (multichapter, still in progress)

No surprises here in the number one spot is absolutely, hands down, In Defiance of Time and I'm absolutely going to use this as an excuse to gush about it! It's a time travel fic where Ghost panics after they [spoiler] and makes a desperate jump anywhere into the past, landing all the way back at the very beginning of their life before the fall of Hallownest. Through their decisions and continued attempts to run from their problems they kick off a chain of events that land NKG in the role of Tragic Secondary Antagonist and Ghost in the role of Main Antagonist and Final Boss, with Hollow taking Ghost's place as the Main Protagonist after much build up alongside an ensemble protag squad. Writing it has been a lot of fun, especially the challenge of having a story with conflict and fighting and angst and death without having any villains. I love this fic and writing it so far has been one hell of a ride, which I pretty much expected after writing chapter 2 when I figured out both why Ghost went back in time and subsequently what the ending was going to be, and realized that I was not, in fact, writing a comedy, and rewrote chapter 1 accordingly. I stick by the change in direction and themes though, learning how to face your regrets and making the choice to try and become a better person even when you feel as though you're a lost cause and that such efforts would be futile is something that hits right at my heart and in a way it kinda feels like I'm writing a story for the me from a decade ago. For that remorse filled, self-loathing, suicidally depressed, asshole who wanted to be better but had no idea how or if it was even possible that I used to be, to tell them that it's not easy, shitty things and even shittier things are still going to happen and you're going to fall back on awful habits that bring that asshole part of you back to the forefront, but you'll keep trying and you'll keep learning and you'll change, you're not doomed to be like this forever. It's a message I think I'm always going to stand by.

2. Next up is Silly Little Wyrm (multichapter, still in progress)

Set in the past, Silly Little Wyrm follows PK and WL at the time when they first meet and the events leading up to them getting married and PK subsequently becoming king. A slow burn romance between two incredibly sad disaster gods with an ending that's going to be bittersweet. I love this one, I love writing these two dorks since I'm a married dork myself, and I also love angst which this story will definitely have a lot of. I'm also having a lot of fun writing their love story since I always love reading love stories where the two leads spend time in an in between state in a nebulous "idk what we are, we're very close and I love you and we kiss but neither of us are in a state to be in a relationship rn" area and I'm excited for these two to get to that point in the story (one day :'D).

3. To Be The Hollow Knight (one-shot)

This one's a Hollow character study exploring their thoughts and feelings about being The Hollow Knight. I'm definitely really proud of this one and I reread it often ^^

4. Long Will She Reign (one-shot)

Herrah fic! Herrah fic! Herrah fic! This one follows Herrah post-Battle of the Blackwyrm and her late night thoughts and her concerns and anxieties and aaaaaaaah. Love this one, absolutely love this one. I loved crafting Herrah's character for the fic series and I love exploring her as a character with deep anxieties who's fear is often mistaken for and hidden behind a stoic demeanor.

5. Three Taps (one-shot)

Lurien and Soul Master fic set post-Battle of the Blackwyrm. This one follows these two and their different reactions to grief and trauma and how they offer cover for each other so that they can go somewhere where they can better handle that trauma rather than being stuck in public.

[malinaa]

2022 WRITING REVIEW

tagged: @rosesau @ttimbradford <3

1. number of stories posted to ao3: 27 (±2 bc i updated 2 fics that i started last year) but i reached over 100 works on ao3!!!!!

2. word count posted for this year: 101,410 (technically More bc i wrote ofic but that is obviously not posted anywhere)

3. fandoms i wrote for: marvel (spider-man), dc (batman, superman), pjo, the atlas series, six of crows, the raven cycle/the dreamer trilogy, hp, and goncharov 😭

4. pairings: petermj, petergwen, percabeth, libbynico, kanej, bluesey, blue/adam, clois, gonchandrey

5. stories with the most

kudos: accidental heroism (the batman) 3,357 bookmarks: the jones-watson-parkers (spider-man) 844 but since that was posted last year it's technically accidental heroism again w 640 comment threads: yet again... the jones-watson-parkers with 133 but it is still accidental heroism with 47

6. work i'm most proud of (and why): ummmm idk actually the work im most proud of is my ofic theo and i cannot Show that to u anyway it's bc i have never rly fully revised smth like. overhauled it n all that bc i finally Understood theo's character and it was such a RUSH to work on her fr and ive produced some of my Best Writing To Date!!! for fic tho uh??!??!?!? im pretty proud of most fic ive written this year bc i have tried rly hard ok 😭 usually i can pinpoint a single fic but i think ive written consistently well ???

7. work i'm least proud of (and why): a home for two (spider-man) mostly because i did Not vibe writing it i was literally pulling teeth trying to finish it but ppl seem to like it idk

8. share of describe a favorite review you received: this comment from a fic i posted last year bc "this fic is so PRETTY, literally poem in prose form im weeping. there's such a... melancholic vibe to it. or perhaps nostalgic. just, wow." has stuck w me forEVER!! and genuinely any comment i have even received from ao3 user Fairy527...u will ALWAYS be famous 2 MEEE!!!!!!

9. a time when writing was really, really hard: uh not for fic but i was tearing my hair out writing theo partially because of the content and partially because it is quite literally Difficult to write what's perfect in your head and i haven't even written theo to my own standards ngl

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: the entirety of final goodbye because. Well. who knew i would be writing goncharov fic actually who knew goncharov would even exist fr

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing: ok not to have an ego but there r a fair few bits

Here's the thing about loss: sometimes you grow up and around a person, fitting and stretching and expanding to add them to the patchwork of yourself, and when they leave, there's a scar between both bodies. One here, one gone. An open wound. It's surprising how much time you can spend with someone and still come out the other end empty-handed. (slip of reality | spider-man)

Touching her eclipses his image of Elysium. ANDDDD Annabeth faces her past self, a funhouse reflection of who she once was. Neglect and trauma have warped Young Annabeth into something smaller—into someone smaller. (the annabeth project | pjo)

The Ronan after was broken, a raven of a boy, all hollow-boned. Yearned for flight, yet trapped by a cage of his own making. (the living lynches | tdt)

The very fact of her breathing astounds him for some reason. There are working lungs, a network of veins, a beating, beautiful heart hidden inside her body. She is wonderfully, colossally alive. (a kiss without a kiss | trc)

12. how did you grow as a writer this year: oh i have learned to appreciate writing first person bc of theo <3 and writing a little longer things bc i am a serial 1-2k oneshotter and i have Exceeded that a bit

13. how do you hope to grow next year: perhaps i will Finally finish a multichapter fic jesus christ

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc): seedemma <3 u made me worse as a person. also tangentially em's professor . why has that random man infiltrated my life i've never met him. anyway jack im also kithing u on the mouth btw

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: none that i can point out at the top of my head ! well. except for theo 🧍🏻‍♀️ i gave her too many lysisms which is concerning considering everything wrong w her n her chronic patheticness

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers: new wisdom??? god not rly but here is some OLD wisdom that i feel like other writers shld always listen to... read MORE BOOKS!!!!!!!!!! i swear u can taste the visceral difference btwn someone who writes and reads n someone who writes without reading n like ive read a fair few books this year and it has def seeped into my writing fr

17. any projects you're looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: working on the Novel™ n also attempting to finish all these wips i have left in the grave

18. tag some writers whose answers you'd like to read: ngl i forgot who writes fic im sorry so @bluepinstripes & @ogiroud (who won't see this until jan fr)

[reinemichele]

Okay, I was going to make this post the day it happened, but I was already really distraught & felt like typing it all out would just like push me over the edge, and I still had to survive NYE fireworks. I decided to at least wait until after the 1st, but then Life Things kept happening, so I didn't get around to it until now.

My righteous anger has mostly simmered down, so but I think it'll probably still get long, so this'll be another read more post. TW for mentions of animal death, emotional abuse, and declawing

To be 100% super duper crystal clear: I am entirely against declawing; it's unethical and cruel and inhumane. This will become abundantly clear as the post goes on, but I just have seen too many pointless disc hoarse posts filled with people who gleefully, willfully misinterpret posts for any reason to harass people. I'm not going to leave myself open to people who'd send me death threats without even reading the full post. As it is, I'm turning reblogs off bc I don't want my post about my cat dying to be reblogged, but if I need to I can turn anon/asks in general off.

So. At 11PM on the 29th of Dec my cat gets hurt, we get to the vet by 12:30, and by 3AM he died. We got home by 4:30AM and none of us could sleep. We were all still awake at 10AM, and dreading the fact that it was a 3-day weekend and we'd have to face all of it trapped with our thoughts without having our normal day-to-day routines to buffer the first 3 days.

We know a lot of energy vampire type people. Liars, manipulators, people who'd come over to our house just to steal something for funsies, abusers. One of my mom's sisters was an accessory to murder. The same one stole my mom's SSN to open credit cards with. I have more examples, but my family tree bullshit could be its own post. A lot of them are in our family and there's some my mom basically has to keep in contact with due to her job.

So, it's 10AM, and my mom is dreading the 2-5 energy-draining people who consistently text her all day long, no matter what's going on or how busy she is. She can be with a patient who's actively in the process of dying, and they'll just text her "?" repeatedly when she doesn't respond.

She decides to tell these people about our cat dying the night before, in hopes that they'll give her space. Unfortunately, abusers like these people love to violate unsaid boundaries like this, so nothing less than blocking numbers/turning off her phone would work. But it's a step towards being able to say "no" that I've been trying to help her with, so we're going to be proud of her for it.

I don't want to use this person's name because as shitty as they are, they deserve privacy, so I'm going to use her initial.

V . responds . "Oh. My sister is trying to rehome her cat, maybe you can take it?"

So let's go over the timeline again. 11PM on the 29th -> 10AM on the 30th. In less than 12 hours since our cat died, V is trying to shove her sister's cat at us. Please don't try to give her the benefit of the doubt or say she was trying to help us feel better. There's not a single thing this person does that comes without ulterior motives; I've known her since 2015. She goes to strangers' funerals so she can brag about it later. She doesn't feed her own cat wet food, not because she can't afford it, but because she'd rather buy cheap dry food at the dollar store and spend the entire rest of her money on herself, like going on cruises/vacations while I petsit her cat. (And use our own wet food for her cat because it's cruel and fucked up and genuinely a detriment to a cat's health to only feed them dry food). This suggestion was nothing short of an impulsive launch at an opportunity to make her life more convenient, by finding a new home for her sister's cat, so her sister would stop complaining or asking her to take the cat.

My family has always had pets, and I'm the youngest in our house, so by the time I was born, a lot of our pets were already getting old and sick (12-15 for dogs, 20-25 for cats). The first pet that died in my lifetime was our dog Killer, when I was 4. My dad had already died, so I didn't need any lies about going to live on a farm or something. And of course it's always sad, but we've always felt like the best thing you can do to ease that pain is take in a new pet and provide them with a home. You get mutual love and happiness from each other, and day by day it gets easier. But, like, you take in that new pet after maybe a month or so. Not a fucking day.

Before continuing, for some extra context, 2 of our cats already had been from V.

The first one, Joey, she only had for a few months before becoming convinced he was peeing all over the house (hint: it was her 20 yr old cat who had chronic kidney/urinary tract problems from being fed nothing but DRY FOOD FOR 20 YRS @%^#&*^*&@#) and offering him to my mom's sister, who ended up dying a few months after that. (We don't know why or how; coroner declined performing an autopsy.)

We call V and tell her what happened, because we don't know what to do with Joey. Her reaction is like, "Oh... hmm. Huh. That's really a shame. Let me know if you find someone who can take him."

As in, "NOT IT!"

They hang up and my mom stares blankly at her phone screen. I say we should just take him home instead of leaving him in the empty apartment and stressing about finding him a new owner.

Flash forward to December of 2020. V calls my mom crying, saying that her (now ex-)husband thinks their other cat, Smokey, peed on his expensive speakers and is threatening to divorce V unless they find a new home for Smokey. V says all the local shelters are full and when she looked into people who'll temporarily house cats for owners, they charge $200 per day. She says she needs to find Smokey a new home like, now. My mom says we'll help her find someone but V is like, her husband has Smokey locked in a cat carrier and says she won't be let out until they find her a new home, that kind of now. We're like, jesus fucking christ, silently. I mute my mom's phone and say "tell her we'll take her". I'm sure she would've said that anyway, but like, instinctual response to hearing the thing about the cat carrier.

(Btw, he divorced V the next year anyway. I wanted her to be away from him, because he's so abusive and mean. But it's so fucked up that he forced her to get rid of her cat with the threat/ultimatum of divorce, only to follow through with the threat anyway. He could've just divorced her and let her keep her cat!!! She had to deal with the heartbreak of a divorce without the comfort of a cat she spent 9 years with!!! He moved out of state, but every time I think about this, I wish I could go and break his kneecaps.)

The problem to that is that Smokey . is declawed . So she has to be separate from our other cats 24/7 for her own safety. None of our cats are very aggressive or get into "real" fights with each other, but they're still cats, with sharp teeth and claws, with predator instincts, who act on those instincts when they can tell another cat is weaker, whose instinct during a fight with another cat is to swipe at their stomach to disembowel them. That's not something you want to take a chance on. So Smokey is exclusively in my mom's bedroom. Over time, we've started to let her out for 20-30 minutes at a time with supervision, but that's the extent of what we can give her without putting her in danger, and it can't be done while doing chores like taking the trash out or doing the dishes. All because V declawed her fucking cats. (Not Joey, but only because he wasn't with her for very long.)

Okay, with that context established, let's go back to V texting us on Dec 30th.

Of course, we could rehome her to someone who didn't have other pets, but she spent 9 years with V, and has now spent 4 years with us. She's a 13 year old all-grey short-hair cat with a bald patch on her belly and on her front legs and below her ears, so it'd probably take a very long time to find someone who'd pick her over a cute kitten, and even longer stuck in a shelter if they had room. And if we had chosen not to be her permanent home, we would've been keeping her at arms' length the entire time, trying not to get attached.

How would that be fair to Smokey? She deserves a life where she spends as many days possible feeling wanted and loved and safe. That's what I set out to do, and I think I've achieved it as much as I possibly could, around her being declawed. I do love her and want her. And I do keep her safe, obviously. I spend as much time as I can with her; we cuddle, we play, we watch birds, I share food with her (when it's safe for cats, obv). With V she was always hiding under the bed and never meowed, just came out to eat. With us, she never hides, purrs non-stop, and is very very vocal. She gets wet food and treats, she sits in the middle of the bed like she owns the place. She gets to be a cat.

I leave my room to go check on my mom. She relays me the text. I say . "What the fuck is wrong with her? It hasn't even been a day."

I ask, "Is V's sister's cat declawed?"

We, like, talk about what a transparently selfish and inconsiderate person V is. I tell my mom I'm gonna try to sleep, but then I stop in the middle of the room.

It's a balancing act to watch out for 1 declawed cat with our other cats, so it would take more mental energy to strategize life around 2 declawed cats, especially with how often I'm asked to petsit. You have to factor in how much time you can spend out petsitting (I usually spend 5 hours there at a time), time you can spend with the Have Claws group of pets (including a dog), and time you can spend with the No Claws pet.

Despite the... misconceptions about cats being detached and aloof, they want (and need) to spend time with you. They want to cuddle, they want to hang out in the same room, they want to hear your voice, they want to play, they want to snooze in the presence of someone they feel safe around; they love you. Same as with dogs.

My mom says she'll find out.

I get some sleep, then I wake up. My mom tells me that no, V's sister's cat is not declawed; she can't find anyone in the state to do it. That's why she wants to rehome the cat.

",,,, How could anyone say that without being ashamed?"

My mom shrugs. "I don't know. I told her, 'wow, we're sitting here miserable because we wish we had our cat back, and your sister wants to get rid of hers because she can't mutilate it' I don't think she liked that because she stopped texting me back."

We laughed.

Silence is telling, you know? V's 20 year old cat died last year, and my mom and I spent months hoping to god that she wouldn't get a new cat, because we didn't want her to declaw it. She swore up and down she regretted doing it to her other cats and would never do it again, but she's also a liar. So after she did get a new cat, my mom and I have checked to see if she still has claws every time we go over. So far she does... but probably because V can't find anyone to do it either.

But then it stopped being so funny when I realized it was probably only a matter of time before one or both of them crossed state lines to look for a vet who'd do it. We can't exactly steal V's cat, but if we take in her sister's cat, we can save it from happening.

I don't really have a good way to finish this. We'd rather take in a cat off the street or from a shelter than have Three cats that came from the same asshole, but if V's sister does declaw her cat, we'll feel responsible for it happening, even if we know it's not our fault.

I just wanted to post about how fucking insane it is to try to pawn off your (sibling's) cat less than 24 hours after someone's cat died. She's almost 70 and has no mental illnesses; she knows better. She's just an asshole.

[captmickey]

This took me a minute to think about... I like a lot of things I've done and I know once I post it I'll go "Oh but this one is also good!" But I think I have the top ten works of mine that I'm really proud of so lets get to it!

1 - The Three Adventurers

We can't start the list without mentioning @threeadventurers. An idea that was, originally, a one-shot of JUST Link and Graham that kinda sorta snowballed into what it is today (thank you, Guybrush). And honestly, if it weren't for this comic, I probably would've dropped King's Quest by now and wouldn't have been nearly as invested in the franchise as a whole (gotta love doing research of 'did Graham do this? When did he do this? Is this a headcanon???'). Plus it's fun sharing the word of KQ to those in other fandoms and vice versa!

2 - From The Perspective of a Royal Guard

Probably my first multi-chapter fanfic for King's Quest? And one of the faceless/nameless NPC that literally no one over thinks about. By that point I figured I'm already neck-deep with this fandom so I might as well go all out and to date this is my favorite fanfic I had ever worked on. One that got me to genuinely be emotional by the end that I didn't want to say goodbye to Number One and the others. And then throw in a particular audio version of it, and... well, this is my favorite fic.

3 - Brotherhood

Annnnnnd this fic was born from Perspective because of the aforementioned 'not wanting to say goodbye to Number One just yet' situation I found myself in. It may not be finished (yet), but I still occasionally re-read it and get peeved at myself for not finishing the next chapter. And it also made me question myself with how I went from a lawless captain to THE most law-abiding captain. But also there was one scene I really really reaaaaaaaaaaaally wanted to write and some aspects of Number One I wanted to explore and, well, you know the saying: make what you want to see. Or um, something of that caliber.

4 - A Strategic Duel of Wits

I know I know I know, this is a lot of fanfics and not a lot of fanart, but it's something that I'm still proud of to this day because (at the time), there wasn't a lot of Gart fic? And if you haven't caught on to me, I tend to focus on characters literally no one bats an eye at and I felt the poor boy needed some love and attention from Grandpa Graham. And if the game won't give him, then I WILL.

5 - The Three Adventurers Eigth Anniversary Page

I spent.... an absurd amount of time on this piece. I went through at least four different pose ideas (they weren't originally on thrones) and went back and forth of the shading (soft shade? sharp shade? comic shade??????) and I bothered my poor sister too much for critiques because I wanted this to be a surprise for everyone. I am, at this point in time, still proud of this piece. Especially Graham and his FREAKING HAT. WHY IS HIS HAT MY NIGHTMARE?! Link's sword? Front facing Guybrush? No. Graham's hat? I want to chuck it 99.999999% of the time.

6 - The Three Adventurers: Sea of Adventurers

'Mickey, you already said Three Adventurers.' You point out. 'Twice.' Yes. But also no. I didn't mention both fanfic and fanart of this particular piece that I'm still very proud of. And in regards to Graham, I'm still proud and giddy at writing him throughout this adventure. He's both the instigator and the level headed one. Kind, but super snarky at other pirates (and Link). Also fun fact, Graham's pirate outfit came the FASTEST for me compared to Link who went through a dozen revisions before I finalized on one I liked. And remember the hat I couldn't stand? Yeah, tri-corner hat. Still hard but at least I know how to draw that!

7 - The Immortal Guards

Fine fine, we'll do more King's Quest. Immortal Guards! A concept I haven't really touched in a while, but this particular batched of doodles always has me grinning, especially Number Two's sassy grin he has in the third picture. But also I live for a rolled up sleeve Number One with the vest-- what? He's good looking like that!

8 - Dancing Guards

This is, hands down, my most prideful drawing I've done, and in ink no less! I still don't know how I pulled that off but whenever I see this drawing, I can't help but grin. Can practically hear that loud and obnoxious Number One laugh~

9 - Kingdom of Sorrow Comic

I really should do more comics of the books, I did a fanfic for this and a fanfic for Floating Castle. It's an excellent trilogy. But that being said, I had to do a comic of my favorite bard with my favorite king, the scene in the book was great character development and made me really fall hard for Shallan. Would've been cool if he got an acknowledgement in the games~

10 - Helpmates, comic

I kinda count this! If only because I'm still forever and ever awed that @gerbiloftriumph managed to translate my chicken scratch of a doodle and made it so wonderful and clean and colorful! I only did paneling, word bubbles and the aforementioned doodle.... they made it amazing and I'm always coming back here and just... it makes me really love this fandom and how creative everyone is~

Hey, KQ friends. Tell me what your ten favourite KQ works* you have created are. It can be a list of fics, art, other creations, or a combo. And if you like, tell us why. It’s not boasting- I am just very curious and it would give me joy to know.

*define KQ works as you like. If it’s got a mighty pirate in it but you consider it arguably KQ too, that counts. I’m not rules lawyering. Also you get to choose what count as separate works. Count a whole series/story as one, or highlight specific chapters/pictures out of the whole.

[kindahoping4forever]

2021 Writing Self Evaluation

Thanks to Jess (@daydadahlias) for thinking to tag me for this!

1. Number of stories posted

15 (more than I expected tbh, given the year I had smh)

2. Word count posted for the year

84,210 solo, 109,210 counting my collab with Cass

3. Fandoms I wrote for

5SOS

4. Main pairings

Ashton/You (13), Calum/You (2)

(I struggled what to call these pairings lol. I absolutely hate calling my stories 'reader insert' or "yn" fic just because I choose to write in 2nd person - I work hard to make all of my POV characters and relationships defined and different from story to story! But Ashton/Original Reader Character sounded pretentious so idk what to call it smh 😂🥸)

5. Story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments

My 2021 output isn't entirely on AO3 yet so of what I do have posted there, Come In With The Rain takes the prize. On Tumblr, the honor goes to either Feedback or Don't Wanna Wait On It. (Feedback has the higher note count but was posted at the height of the staff bot era so I'm sure the count is greatly inflated so I always take that number with a grain of salt 👀😅)

6. Work I'm most proud of (and why)

Honestly I could put a few different stories here, without sounding too cocky, I genuinely feel like I wrote some beautiful stories this year. But the one I keep coming back to, the one I think might actually be my favorite of all time is Come In With The Rain. It feels the closest to what I saw in my mind when I envisioned writing it and it's the story that I think most accurately conveys the emotions I wanted to make my readers feel. (Like a cozy clown deeply in love 😌) I'm also ridiculously proud of When The Sun Came Up, my collab with Cass, I think we crafted a story that was equal parts thoughtful, heartbreaking and sexy.

7. Work I'm least proud of (and why)

I truly did love everything I posted this year. If I have to pick something for this question, I'd probably go with my most recent, Threw Out Our Cloaks & Daggers Because It's Morning Now. It sets the stage for an arc I've been wrestling to write for almost a year now and while I feel like it's a necessary piece of the puzzle, I'm still not sure how effective it is as a standalone or if it feels like it truly belongs in my Gardener Ash series. I struggled to write it for months and ended up combining it with another fic I had completed but abandoned because I felt it was lacking. It mostly works and I think when I finish the rest of the arc, I'll appreciate it more but for right now, I feel like I could've done better, even if I'm not sure how. (It also flopped which shouldn't skew my view of it but it does tbh 😬)

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received

Comments and reviews matter so fucking much to me, you guys. I can't believe whenever I hear that someone goes out of their way to check for updates or reads my fics multiple times. I love when I get comments telling me something in everyday life reminded someone of one of my stories, like happened a lot with A Little Bit Scandalous ("the Invisible House story") or Handprints ("the mirror story"). But probably my most favorite type of feedback is hearing that my stories felt realistic or reminiscent of an actual experience the reader had. I always want my stories to toe the line between being dreamy and fantasy based while still seeming plausible, attainable even. So hearing I've achieved that sends me to the moon. 🥰

9. A time when writing was really, really hard

I'll be honest, I can't think of a moment this year when writing wasn't really, really hard. Many of you know I live with a number of chronic illnesses and in addition to managing those, this year I've managed to add some to the list. (Cluster headaches for a month straight! Unexplained back and pelvic pain going on 8 months!) Oh yeah, and I'm still unemployed and we're still in a pandemic. On a good day, my mind is still probably 65% clouded with stress, anxiety, depression and fatigue so the fact that I wrote over 100k words? Is NUTS to me. I fought hard for every single one of them and the frustration was absolutely worth it.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you

Stage!Ash was never meant to be a series nor a love story. I truly just wanted to clown over sweaty, beardy Ash being back on stage but couldn't find a hook I found interesting enough to pursue and Cass, genius that she is, suggested the "first time seeing him drum" angle, which I loved and that led me to framing Encore as a new relationship. As I wrote it, it became sweeter and softer than I ever imagined it would and by the time I was finished, I was fully invested. I've never written a "falling in love" couple before, I'm used to "still in love" established couples so it's been a fun challenge and I'm glad people encouraged me to continue it as a series.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing

I'm gonna be self-indulgent and highlight two passages 😅First, like I said, I'm really pleased with Come In With The Rain's ability to let the audience live in the characters' headspace for a while. This excerpt isn't anything fancy, isn't even the most poetic of the piece, but the narrative stillness is something new for me and painting this picture of quiet domesticity and loving familiarity was one of my favorite tasks of the year 🥰 (And if you're familiar with the fic, the scene that follows is def my fav smut I wrote this year, possibly ever tbh 😌)

You take your time washing up, enjoying the contrast of the warm water against the cool air of the kitchen and appreciating the sounds of Ashton absentmindedly singing along to his album of choice while he sits on the couch, scrolling away on his iPad. You finish and go to join him, guffawing at the sight of him clapping giddily when he sees you entering the room bearing a fresh cup of coffee for each of you.

You curl up next to him, tucking your feet under his thigh for warmth, much to his chagrin. You relax and sip your drink, watching the wind blow the trees outside the window, being entertained by Ash switching back and forth between reading you interesting soundbites from the articles he’s reading to singing along to the music in varying degrees of seriousness.

“Kinda feel like smokin’ something but honestly I don’t feel like getting up to get our shit. How’s that for lazy?” He muses with a grin.

A couple hours pass, maybe more; time really has no meaning on a day like this. The rain has ceased for the moment but the sky is still threateningly overcast, casting a dreamlike haze over the room. Ashton keeps insisting that “after this song” he’s going to get up and check the heater but he started saying that at least three albums ago.

You’ve ended up sprawled out on the couch, your head in his lap; it’s your job to change the record when it’s time but you’ve still managed to doze off here and there, so cozy and comfortable with Ash quietly singing above you, hands occasionally running through your hair or over your shoulder.

You sleepily turn over on your side, gazing at him through hooded eyes; after one too many jabs from you, he’s lost the iPad and as he sits there, one hand scrolling his phone, the other pensively scratching at his beard while humming under his breath, you feel an overwhelming flood of feelings. Love. Happiness. Peace. Desire.

You reach your hand out and caress the tops of his thighs, wanting to feel more of him underneath you, wanting to remind him you’re there. Your heart swells when you see a fond smile paint his face and he instinctively brings a hand down to rub over your arm, continuing the silent but appreciative conversation between your bodies.

This second excerpt, from To Love Him Is To Need Him Everywhere, is similar to the first - a quiet moment of reverent appreciation between partners. I've just always loved it because it follows an absurdly filthy section of the fic and then takes a sharp turn towards some of the softest, most flowery writing I'd done at that time. I feel like that duality became a trademark for me this year (for the Swift-literate, Cass has repeatedly declared this my "Lover era" 😅) and it really encapsulates what I find appealing about exploring relationships in fic (or in life tbqh).

He lays behind you, wrapping his arms around you and breathing a soft sigh of your name against your hair. The two of you lay in loving silence, basking in the contrast between the cool breeze blowing across your skin and the warmth of your lover’s body on you.

Ash is such a large presence, literally and figuratively, you love the firmness and safety of being enveloped by him. But after a few minutes, you find yourself needing more and you turn over to face him. His eyes are closed and you stop to study him, taking in every detail: how long his lashes are, how much you love the shape of his nose, how structured but soft his cheeks are, how kissable his lips always seem to look, how his sharp jawline still makes your stomach drop after all this time.

You notice the dimples that you love so much starting to form as he smiles at the feel of your stare. He opens his eyes and with a single look, he’s able to read your energy and know exactly what you’re needing. He fits his hand under your jaw and slowly kisses you, letting you lead the way, inviting your tongue to take and taste all you need from him.

He waits for you to be the one to break the kiss and then he’s gently pushing you onto your back so he can lay his head on your chest. You stroke your fingers through his hair while he uses his to trace designs on your bare stomach.

“I don’t know that I’ve ever been more grateful to be sharing a moment with someone,” Ashton says quietly, the thought still formulating in his mind. You look down to see his hazel eyes gazing fondly at you. “I’m glad it’s with you.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year

I'm really proud of myself for writing for me in 2021. I wrote ridiculously long pieces when they felt right, I wrote PWP when I had a good concept I just wanted to get out into the world. I started writing in 2020 and was fortunate enough to have a solid audience from the get-go (again, thanks to Cass) but as much as I love what I wrote that first year, I can admit now that there was probably too much consideration given to what I thought other people wanted to see from me (or didn't want to see! I toned down a lot of pieces back then tbh) whereas now I aim for my priority to be what I want to spend my time thinking about.

13. How do you hope to grow next year

There's more than a few things I need to work on: I need to stop caring so much about feedback (it's my favorite part of the process but shouldn't determine the value of a fic!), I need to trust my instincts more (taking an hour to write a paragraph because I rewrite each sentence 10 times is like, not fun or practical) and I need to more efficiently manage my time. The pandemic effectively decimated my attention span so it's hard for me to sit and write without picking up my phone every few minutes, especially when the band is in an active phase since I live a double life as a fic blog/update account and I'm always itching to find content. All these things I mentioned make writing a lot more frustrating than it needs to be and I'd like to remedy that so I can enjoy the process as much as I possibly can.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc)

The answer to this question is always going to be @cal-puddies. My best ideas come from talking to Cass, my best drafts are the ones she actively challenges me on and I probably would've quit on about half of my fics from this year if she hadn't kept encouraging me and cheering me on to finish them. I said I wrote for me this year but really I wrote for us. 🦦🦦

15. Anything from your real-life show up in your writing this year?

I definitely drew inspiration from my real life camping experience when writing To Love Him Is To Need Him Everywhere. I do in fact, have a certain fondness for rainy days. I actually went to the Global Citizen concert and honestly that made writing Stay Here, Honey more difficult because my brain refused to accept if I had to change a detail for logistics/creative license lmao. Beyond that, there's been a few times I've wondered if I've accidentally exposed myself by writing certain kinks one too many times but I won't go into specifics. 😂

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers?

No idea is too niche - if you've thought about it, someone else definitely has and will love your story. (I legit wrote a fic about getting high and dry humping in a backyard and someone called it "romantic". Your fic will find its audience lmao.)

17. Any projects you're looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year

I'll go ahead and spill, honestly if you've read this far, you deserve a scoop: Gardener!Ash is getting pegged in 2022, if it's the last thing I do. (I've been trying to plot this arc for A YEAR but I want to do it right and dammit, I will get there!) Also, I am about 25k words deep into a Poly!Cashton series that I'm very excited about (and have also been writing/plotting for well over a year) and can't wait to share.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you'd like to read

If they feel like it, I'd love to see what @cal-puddies @talkfastromance4 @suchalonelysunflower @villainorigincal and @littledrummeraussie have to say!

[chetungwan]

Thanks for tagging me, @sew-birb!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

20! Although over half of them are drabbles written for last year's whumptober, so I feel a little guilty counting them.

2. What is your total ao3 word count?

33,622 words. I. Don't actually know if that's a big number or a small number. It's definitely not novel sized, so I guess I haven't written a book yet.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Well, 10. But four of them are from my very early works that I'm kinda embarrassed by.

4. What are your Top 5 fics by kudos?

Two Disasters, One Bomb

SCP-3906

Booth's Past - I want to qualify these last two. They were the first fics I ever posted, and they really show their age. I keep them up because I believe in the concept of an archive, and because I think that showing growth in a writer is useful. But the reason they're so far up here is not because they're good, but because they're old.

two bombs and one goes off

if at first you don't succeed, try try again

5. Do you always respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I get few enough that I can, and I like the engagement. So I respond! I like talking to people

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending

This question actually made me realize that for all I love writing angst, I seem to have a habit of ending on at least a hopeful note. But thankfully I have one that I did manage to make very despairing! Set Them Up And Knock Them Down definitely ended the opposite of hopeful.

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Oh buddy, I almost exclusively write crossovers. I guess the craziest is also Set Them Up And Knock Them Down, but that's mostly because no one cares about Farscape anymore except me and a couple of my friends.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope! I am barely known.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

The closest I got to smut was a couple fade to blacks between Tim Stoker and Daniel Jacobi, which incidentally is another fun crossover of mine.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, again, I'm barely known.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Sort of? I've helped write fic with people, though it's really theirs in the end. And I've edited fic, though that's something else entirely.

12. What’s your all time favorite ship?

UUUHH. It really really depends on the fic and even then it varies from moment to moment. If the ones I've written? I guess I'm proud of Tim/Jacobi.

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Oof. Okay, so it's not up on AO3 anymore, but I wrote a fic for Bullets Over Broadway. The musical, not the movie. You know, the one that ran for like a week because it sucked so much. I saw it in previews with my highschool art club, and wrote the fic sentence by sentence on the bus back to the hotel. It got passed around the bus and read out loud, because we were all nerdy, horny teenagers who wanted to read about the mobster fucking the playwright.

That one was fade to black too because I genuinely cannot actually write smut.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

A crossover with Wolf 359. I refuse to pick beyond that.

Tagging uuuuuuuuh @electricshoop @ophelia-thinks @ anyone else I know who writes fic? I can't remember who's tumblrs link to who's AO3 handles

[anguisette90]

2021 AO3 Year In Writing

tagged by: @laurabeatrix

I definitely didn't start this weeks ago when I was tagged and then not get a chance to finish it and completely forget about it until I went to check my drafts for something else. *cough* I'm also incapable of giving short answers, so I decided to do a "read more" and save any mobile users from a ridiculous amount of scrolling to get past my nonsense.

1. Number of stories posted to AO3:

7

2. Word count posted for the year:

260,927 words (though really only around 190K of that was written in 2021, a lot of it was written in 2019 or 2020 and I only got the courage to share in 2021, haha.)

3. Fandoms I wrote for:

The Dresden Files

4. Pairings:

Harry/Murphy, Harry/Lara, & (sigh) Harry/Marcone

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: 80 Floors Up (122)

Bookmarks: 80 Floors Up (21)

Comments: All's Fair(59)

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

Mm. I’m really pleased with how All’s Fair turned out. It’s the first story I’ve ever fully planned out and written methodically, with the knowledge that I’d be sharing it with people and so it needed to do story-y things. This is the first thing I’ve ever written that felt like I really had to work at it, but the end result is something that I feel is actually pretty well polished.

Runner-up shout out to The Detective & Miss Murphy though. I went into it with only the vaguest idea of when the Regency era even was and having precisely zero experience with either consuming or creating Regency romance books/shows/movies. I expected it to be a total disaster, and while it definitely is not the best thing ever written or even the best thing I’ve ever written, I think it’s turned out pretty well so far. Jane Austen I am not, but since @LauraBeatrix’s original inspiration for the conversation was Bridgerton, and Julia Quinn is also definitely no Jane Austen (which I know now, because I’ve read like four or five of those books at least, so thanks for that LauraB :P) I’ll take it. I also genuinely put more time and effort into research for this fic than I did for all of my college classes combined last year (8 of them? 9? A bunch) and while I’m not exactly proud of that fact, I’m not not-proud either.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

I’m tempted to say 80 Floors Up because it is the fic I have put the absolute least amount of thought or effort into – it was a silly premise that I wrote in a single weekend including editing time. But it did turn out pretty good despite being somewhat ridiculous?

I guess I Caught Fire. Every time I look at it I feel like it’s missing something, like something’s off about it, but no matter how I poke at it I’m not satisfied.

8. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

It’s been a good year for reviews. Honestly, everybody is so sweet and supportive. I started 2021 kind of on the fence about whether to continue posting things and very insecure in my own writing but people have been so nice. I have genuinely cried from comments received several times this past year.

(Not that I have a folder on my phone with screenshots of comments that I flip through when imposter syndrome gets bad or anything. I’m not desperate for validation. It’s cool.)

But my absolute favorite review? Gotta be this lovely gem from @LauraBeatrix:

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I hit a snag in The Detective & Miss Murphy for a bit there where I had waaaaay too much planned content to fit into waaaay too few chapters, which was super difficult to work through.

I also have had a few instances (once for All’s Fair, twice for yet-unposted WIPs) where I’ve had to dwell on That Scene from midway through Battle Ground and that’s been a very different kind of difficult.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Harry and Murphy are constantly surprising me in The Detective & Miss Murphy because they never do quite what I expect them to do. I have whole scenes planned out and then one of them just says something out of nowhere, or does something crazy. You know what I didn’t expect at the start of writing a regency romance? That my hero and heroine would have a woman tied up in the heroine’s bedroom to get information out of her. Didn’t expect that to happen. Absolutely insane. I have no control over them.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

This bit for All’s Fair keeps sticking with me and I’m fond of it: “I remembered when she’d been mine and I’d been hers. When we’d professed our love and when we'd acted on it. I remembered when I knew with all of my heart, mind, and soul that I belonged wholly and completely to her, that I would never love anyone the way I loved her. We were made for each other, in the sense that years of shared experiences and friendship had forged us into complementary shapes, worn and scarred but familiar and comfortable, fitting perfectly together.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I have definitely gained a lot more confidence in myself. Two years ago, getting an even vaguely critical comment on something would haunt me for weeks and make me question whether or not I should continue posting. Even at the beginning of last year, I frequently questioned whether or not I should bother sharing what I wrote, if I was just being stupid and arrogant to believe that other people would want to read it, etc. I'm not saying I've magically become immune to criticism or anything, but I'm at a place where I can get a negative comment, process the feedback (if there actually is any), and move on with my life without losing sleep over it. Which is progress.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I want to put more of a focus on original work in 2022 than I did last year. I still expect most of what I write to be fic, but I'm starting to entertain the idea that 15 year old me might have been right after all and I should try to become a published author.

I also want to invest more time in actually learning how to be a better writer. I've listened to TED talks and interviews and things like that here and there with authors I respect, and sometimes I pick up good advice, and sometimes I think the advice isn't for me, but I want to spend more time doing that this year. Writing, like any art imo, has a large instinctive component, but that doesn't mean you can't better hone your instincts with training.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Last spring I stumbled across a post where some total strangers were discussing wanting to see fluff of Harry/Murphy. One person in particular had a specific request, I think she said she wanted to see Harry at another Murphy family reunion? I don't remember now. Whatever it was, I had this fic that had been sitting in my drafts since 2019ish and it sounded like just what she was looking for. So even though I thought it was kind of a poorly-written fic, I posted it on AO3 and shared it here, hoping maybe one or more of these people would see it. Even if it wasn't very good, I figured not-great content is still better than no content, right?

That very particular stranger was @laurabeatrix, who did see my fic, and had a ton of kind things to say about it, and has basically not stopped saying nice things about my fics since. She is my biggest cheerleader/muse/emotional support beta reader/tinfoil hat co-conspirator/3 AM rambling thought sounding board/all-around wonderful person. I can honestly say without exaggeration that at least half of what I've written this year wouldn't have happened without her, or at least wouldn't have been posted. Also, she made art for a fic that I wrote. Art. Like for real fanart. It's been months and I'm still kind of freaking out about that because seriously how cool is that?

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

No current events from my life, though I've definitely drawn from my life experiences. There's a scene in Paper & Jewelry where Harry's watching Murphy use a step ladder to try to put baubles on the Christmas tree, which was directly inspired by my wife watching me nearly break my neck several times trying to string the lights on our tree a few years back.

Also, not sure if it counts but most of the time when I choose to set a scene in a specific place in Chicago it's because it's a place I've been and often have pictures I can reference. Several of Lara and Harry's dates in All's Fair are locations the wife and I have also visited together. Really wish we weren't living in plague times, because it's been way too long since we had a chance to get out there and I'm itching for it.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Share what you've written! I don't care what you've written. I don't care if its an obscure ship from an obscure fandom with a weirdly specific set of tags that you think only you could possibly care about. Someone wants to read it. You think it's bad? It's probably amazing, but even if it isn't, to be honest, who cares? If you liked the idea, or the dialogue, or the setting, or whatever enough to write it, someone else will like it too. It's easy to get caught up in the number of kudos, or the number of comments, but honestly, even if there's just one other person out there who reads it any enjoys it, you've still made an impact on the world, you've made that one person's day better for a few minutes (or hours, or if you write as much as I do maybe days) just by sharing your ideas, your art. Don't second-guess yourself.

And if you're writing for one of my fandoms, this goes doubly for you. Odds are if there's only one weirdo who is going to like your fic, I'm that weirdo, and I want to read it, lol (But seriously, you're better than you think. How do I know? Because I've never in my life met a writer who was as bad or worse than they thought. We all think that. It's okay. Just share anyway.)

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Very close to finishing Detective and Miss Murphy which is both exciting and sad. I'll miss it but I'll be glad to have it wrapped up too.

After that, I've got a kind of dark post-BG longfic I'm working on, which will let me play with myths and deities, some of which we haven't had a chance to see yet in canon, and I'm both nervous and excited for that prospect. We'll see how it works out.

As always, I've got about two dozen other misc WIPs too, most of which aren't ready for me to talk about them yet, but I'm sure there' will be plenty of forthcoming fic for 2022.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

As usual I'm not directly tagging anyone because I don't do that, but if you're reading this and you would like to provide your answers, consider this me, tagging you. I'd love to read your thoughts!!

[galaxythreads]

thanks for the tag!! :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

78

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

2,358,352 + with another account my total word fic word count is like ~3,400,000.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly MCU, some SPN, ATLA, sherlock holmes stuff

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Blood of My Enemies Stains My Hands Now <- very surprised this is number one, i genuinely forgot I wrote this lmao

Empirical <- very surprised this is here

Not One For Chocolate Anymore, I See <- yep, not surprised.

If Lost, Please Return to Peter <- oh my gosh why

You Screamed for So Long We Forgot to Care Anymore <- not surprised this is here at all lol and I'm actually proud it's here.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do my best, but not everything. Recently I've been trying to do every other chapter of a fic, but I'm having a harder time responding to one-shots recently. I used to respond to everything, comments on ao3 were literally and I mean this genuinely, my only interaction outside of my family for years. I got really close with some of the commenters. Lately, I've been much, much, much worse mentally, so i do what I can.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

uhhh, i'm a cross between Five Out of Five is an Ideal You Can't Have - where Loki is still extremely upset with Thor and Thor Did Not Get the Point or End of File, where Thor goes at Mobius with a knife. Oh and I guess there's the whole XXO Mom series, part #2 ends suuuuper angsty.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

idk, i generally try to end on an upward note with everything. Happiest ending is like...probably Stygian? Oh, and Empirical is also pretty upbeat.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

lmao. When do I not get it? Every couple of weeks at least. Once I got told on a fic that had nothing to do with religion that I was "forcing Christian values" onto everyone because I said in my bio i was Christian and I was ??? for a few days about that. People complain about the writing, they complain about me, they complain about fics not getting updated, they complain about oocness (somehow wrote me like, a 10 page paper on a fic once about how ooc thor was and honestly I commend them because that takes some effort), I get hate all the time and it's very exhausting. Champion hater is probably the anon that sent me a very nasty ask about what a terrible writer I was and how I deserved any trouble I got with publishing when I was trying to express how frustrating it was that the publishing industry is structured rigidly. (I still think that it should be middle grade, teen (12-18) and then YA should be 18-22, THEN adult, because 18-22 is a wild, awful experience that deserves to be it's own genre) Anyway, that anon made me cry for like 2 hours, so. I commend him. 10/10 bullying.

9. Do you write smut?

No. no plans to. writing sex is really meh to me. I admire people who can, I just...do not care about sex scenes lol. I understand they play a part in stories I'm just like "let's...leave it implied if I must and then. not write it."

10. Do you write crossovers?

nope! I'm not opposed to them, I just don't really have any ideas. I did have a multi-fic crossover planned between Supernatural and MCU but I lost interest after writing part 1, there was something else. Like I really wanted to write that fic. idk, i'd have to look at my plans.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Ugh. Yes. People post them on different websites without my permission all the time, someone once made a podcast about one of my fics where they completely obliterated it and that was absolutely humiliating. (They did think I was like 25 though, when at the time I was 16, so that at least was funny) Outside of fics, my sister stole major plot points/character things from my original series to add to her book and I'm still really, really frustrated about that.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep, loads. My goal is to get good enough at Russian and Spanish to translate some fics myself.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Twice that I know of, but idk. Maybe one more after that? It was a looooong time ago, though.

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

Clintasha. And if not that, then one of my ships for my original series.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Honestly, probably the Loki series rewrite I started. I have the entire thing mapped out I just do not care as much as I did when I started the concept of it.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Mental illness, vivid imagery, trauma. I'm good at sucking you into the character's head and then punching you in the stomach for it. I also know how to plot and plan and that's very helpful.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Endings and beginnings. I'm terrible at both of them. I dread them with my whole heart. I'm also, I've discovered recently, really bad at setting up characters the way I want. Also sometimes I back myself into terrible corners and have no idea how to fix it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have done this in several fics, I think it's kind of a nice nod to people who speak the language cause they get an extra layer for the fic. I don't hate it being in the fic, I can live without it. I do think that the fic has to survive without translations or you've failed because I would never look up a translation myself when I'm reading it the first time and I know it's the same way with a lot of poeple.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

How to Train Your Dragon. I was 12. That account is still up (I was harassed off of it by some very dedicated guests) I refuse to delete fics, even the most embarrassing ones. Literally the first thing I ever finished writing period is posted there.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh that's a hard one because I do generally really enjoy my fics and can take some pride in them but right now, Scar Tissue or You Screamed for So Long We Forgot to Care Anymore. I love writing Scar Tissue, it's been such a blast and it's so good to explore other characters outside of MCU, i feel like I'm stretching new writing muscles and it's good. I also loved the community that I had when posting YSFSLWFTCA. It was just...genuinely one of my fics of all time. But anything with Peter and Tony is just so much fun for me, too.

I do not have the energy to tag, repost if you want to. <3

20 Questions For Writers

This was sitting on my notifs for a few days and i finally took the time to do it. Thank my darling @takadasaiko for the tag!! 💕💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 88 works in total, 31 of which are for Star Wars.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

574,873 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, I'm only writing for Star Wars. But I used to write for Arrow and Supergirl, and ASoIAF, Dark-Hunters and Chronicles of Nick are in standby. I'm waiting for right motivation to come back to any of the last 3.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I'm only talking about Star Wars fics here...

Kadala (The Mandalorian) [and 4th place in most kudos of all my works]

Rough Awakening (The Bad Batch) [and 5th place in most kudos of all my works]

Welcome to Yavin IV (Rebels)

An Explosive Situation (Rebels)

Rescue on Ryloth (The Bad Batch)

And the the rest of my all-time fics with most kudos are

Take Your Breath Away (Arrow)

Undisclosed Desires (Arrow)

Made For You (ASoIaF/Game of Thrones)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try my best, but sometimes I forget, and then it's been weeks and months since I got the comments that I'm embarrassed to reply them after so long. Even though, I think it's important that a writer let the reader/commenter that they appreciate it, even if it's with a simple "thank you" or an emoji. I know I'm being a hypocrite here since I fail to do what I preach, but it doesn't make it less true.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think that would be Drifting, because it's kind of open ending, left to be interpreted, so it could end however the reader wants. Although, I left an author's note at the end saying what's my preferred ending, which always will be inclined to the happy side.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

High Above the Ground because is the happy ending i want for Commander Fox and Riyo Chuchi. They deserve only the best!

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

No, not really. I've gotten only 1 stupid message of someone criticizing a fic, but that was years ago when I still posted on FF dot net. The joke was on the reader because I moderated all the comments there so I just deleted it and nobody saw it but me. Honestly, I just laughed about it cuz their argument was just stupid.

9. Do you write smut?

I do, all kinds -from the most tame thing to the most perverted. But I used to wrote way more in my old fandoms, especially for Arrow. I think for Star Wars I've written just 1 or 2 smutty fics, and tamed at that.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I've tried a couple of occasions but never finished them. I'm not opposed to them obviously, but I do think the combination of fandoms has to be just right to work. Or at least, when it's me doing the writing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes! Many, many years ago in the first fandom I ever wrote for. It was awful and hated it! You see, this was in the stone age of the internet when fandom specific sites abounded and not everyone had an account on FFnet yet (and Ao3 was not even a dream). The site I published on was split in 2 sections because the ships war in the fandom was bloody and ruthless, so to avoid the slaughter, I kept myself in my preferred side. But one day, a friend who read fic on both sides told me that someone stole my fics. Avoiding to get caught, the person who did it published them under a pen name that was almost exact to mine, she only added a period at the end, which could easily go unnoticed. Oh, and she interchanged characters names so it'd fit the other ship.

At first, my friend thought I had posted them but she knew I'd never write for that ship, like ever. In the end, it turned out that I wasn't the only one who had being plagiarized. Several people ON BOTH SIDES were. Thankfully, the person was caught and banned, but we almost burned the site down because of the whole shitshow.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

By me, yes, several. All into Spanish (my mother tongue). By others, not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes! A couple of times for different fandoms, and I loved it. I hope I'll do it again. The thing is that you need to find the right partner for it, or it can be a nightmare.

14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?

I don't appreciate this question, let me tell you. It's hard to choose. But I think I have to go with Olicity. I love them still (even if the show ending ruined it for me). Close second would be Braime (and I'm glad that there's still hope for them on the books, because as usual the show fucked them so but sooooo bad)

And as Star Wars specific, I don't think anyone will be surprised if I say it's Kalluzeb, right 🤣 They're my babies and I adore them!

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Anything for Arrow or Supergirl. I sworn off those fandoms after their respectively awful endings.

No promises, but there's still hope for all if my unfinished works for Star Wars 😅

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Coming up with ideas. So, so many ideas. All the time and I want to write them all.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Finishing writing the above-mentioned ideas. I tend to splay myself too much when I'm writing, and it takes me forever to get to the portion I really want to write (usually the idea that sparked the whole writing process) and I lose steam. That's why I have so many unfinished WIPs. I wish they'd write themselves.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It's ok if used sparingly. A word here, a phrase over there is fine, but if a wall of dialogue that the reader needs to scroll down to the notes or click on a tooltip to find out the meaning it's the worst!!! A better solution for a writer that really needs/wants to have a whole conversation in another language for plot reasons or whatever, then all they need to do is to say once that the characters are talking in the other language and put the dialogue in the same language they've been writing the rest of the narrative and in italic.

The characters who don't speak the language won't understand what's being said, but the reader will and their reading will be more pleasant and fluid.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

An Argentinian show called Floricienta. A modern retelling of Cinderella.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

I don't like this question either! All my fics are my babies! How do you want me to choose?!! There are so many I'm proud of. I guess I'll point the most recent one: Feed Me Poison, Fill me till I Drown I really like how this story is coming along. It's not done yet (what else is new? 😅) but what's coming is so so good!

Tagging (no pressure): @renee561 @thecoffeelorian @genericficerblog @airlockfailure @mistr3ssquickly @insertmeaningfulusername @fanfictasia

[ji-lixie]

hey babe just popping in to say ur right seeing chan say that is really concerning not just (especially) for him but for his fans as well. you do not need to diet. You are a beautiful person who deserves to eat. You deserve to eat when youre hungry and when you arent happy with urself and when its a meal time and you deserve a little treat when u feel like it. I love chan but i definitely feel like it can be harmful to talk about dieting in such a way and especially when he has so many people looking to him for inspiration and comfort. I hope hes okay but i also hope you are okay. I know how hard it can be and im so proud of you and i hope you have a nice warm meal that fills you up just right and all you have to think about is the warmth in ur belly and in ur heart. 🥰🥰🥰🤦‍♀️💖❤💜💙

this is really sweet and really means a lot, anon, i hope you know that. it's... very easy for me to get hit with self-loathing about my body, especially when i see other people say those sort of things (as u can tell from this whole thing about chan), or after a doctor's appointment where my health is perfectly fine but seeing certain numbers or words fuck with me despite the fact i'm healthy.

i'm gonna put some more thoughts under a readmore just because i tend to ramble a lot and i don't wanna put a long-ish post on anyone's dash but i have more thoughts here (but if you don't wanna read those, thank you again for your kind words <3 self love is a very long and hard journey and i have in the past and will continue to struggle with in the future. it's just a journey i gotta keep working on, and maybe one day i'll at least be able to appreciate my body for keeping me alive even if i'm not happy with it yet)

[warning for like... talks of potential eating disorders/disordered eating and fatphobia, ig? just tread with caution if any of this bothers u im sorry :( ]

like... i feel like there's always going to be a certain line you have to be careful of when you talk about dieting, btw. i don't think chan meant anything bad by what he said (he's a very genuine person from what i've seen, and there's a reason he has such a comforting presence for a lot of people, me included) and i genuinely hope that he never like... feels bad about that if he ever happens to see how it can impact people? like you said, a lot of people look to him for inspiration and comfort, and i feel safe in saying at least some of those people are going to be people under eighteen. i'm not saying it's impossible to happen to anyone under twenty or even twenty-five, but i think the weird, hard part of being a teenager can make those feelings a lot worse--or even anyone in his audience who has dealt with things like EDs or disordered eating on its own. it can be a very slippery-slope right back into those habits, especially hearing them said by someone you look to for motivation/comfort/etc.

which isn't to say i blame chan at all! from what it sounds like, this is definitely something that was pushed onto him? like, idk, i don't know so this is all speculation, but he did say that both his members (which, btw, not a huge surprise just because of how rampant fatphobia is in this industry: i don't really blame them for having that mindset tbh) and the staff sorta kept pointing out him gaining weight.

which btw... where? chan you gotta show me where baby because i cannot fucking see it at all but that's beside the point. you don't have to visibly have gained weight to feel like you've done it.

i just hate the way he said that he needs to do this 'properly' so much. like this isn't proper. eating a single meal a day and barely anything else isn't proper, and i feel like we can probably guess he'd be working out alongside this alongside the work he's already doing.

idk man i just wanna give him a kiss on the forehead and tell him that it's okay if he wants to lose weight but he should do it for himself and he should do it properly. like i've been there. it sucks. you feel like shit and i can't imagine being busy with everything he's busy with and also not eating enough. like idk im not a bee-tee-ess stan but i've read about the shit that j*min went through considering he passed out during rehearsals from barely eating (and, god, it does make me feel better to see a lot of people citing where he's not doing that anymore: i'm not a stan, but he seems like a sweetheart and i wish the best for him + his group). like, not to focus purely on chan again, but it does make me worry about him more.

how far can it go? how far will it go? i don't want to find out. i just want him and the rest of skz to stay healthy and happy, and something like this is going to stop chan (and felix, from what i've read--he also went on a strict diet at one point...? i'd have to look into it more) from being either.

[genshin-obsessed]

hi pocket! moth here, and as promised, i'm giving you word after word after word after word....

i got cicada to type some stuff down too since he also wanted to send something to you in congratulations!! <3 <3

----moth

congratulations on 6k! you're really rad and i genuinely think that you deserve all this support and love, it's just really nice to see that you've progressed so quickly and smoothly! you've put a ton of effort into things your write, your events, everything! your interactions with your anons are just so nice, and that's all because you're an amazing person!

when i joined the genshin fandom, you were one of the first blogs that i had run into, and that's pretty neat. at first, i didn't follow you, since i wasn't really used to your writing. but as i kept on encountering your works, i eventually grew accustomed to it- and i like your writing style! v swag :)

your oc, toxin, is just- perfection. i like the whole background thing, powers, but the fic i liked the most was the one where toxin attempts to poison you. my imagination can just run wild from there, picturing out what the character did after running out to go after toxin, but for zhongli's case how he took care of you + what he did after.

you, pocket, are a wonderful person- if you receive hate, you don't deserve it! 6000 seems like a large accomplishment, and it must've felt really nice to hit that number. a great person like you deserves the world, but the world may not deserve you. your presence alone on tumblr is practically a blessing, and i'm grateful for everything that you've wrote! not only that, but you've helped me become bolder and interact off anon. i think that's pretty neat, genuinely.

i'm sure many others think the same: ilysm(/p) pocket! even if i fall out of the genshin fandom(which i most likely won't bc of XIAOOOOOOOOOOOO <3 <3 <3 <3), i'll still revisit your blog. reading over your works always makes me crack a smile, whether it's angsty or not. your ability to write is amazing, and some of your works had even inspired a few of mine!

a collab with a person like you is like a dream come true. i look forwards to future interactions, and hopefully they're all positive! i support you no matter what, and you can't change that, hehe.

-your local xiao simp,

moth.

----cicada

hello, i believe you've never interacted or heard of me before? i go by cicada online, a friend that appears on moth's blog every now and then. they told me about your 6k followers, and i think that's pretty neat. to be honest when you told moth that you'd do a collab with them i was happy they chose you, since you're a really good person. pocket, thank you so much for everything you've done for me, moth, all of us- i cannot express my gratitude towards you, and i am proud of that because i can usually express my gratitude to others within words. however, since my gratitude towards you is off the charts, i cannot form it in words. regarding the collab, i will attempt to help moth with angst, however my help might not be needed. i thank you deeply, for fueling my everyday energy to get up. reading through your works gives me so much serotonin, and i appreciate that greatly. have a good day or night, perhaps afternoon, mx. pocket.

-cicada.

----any last words before we go sleep?

moth - ily, pocket! /p

cicada - thank you, congratulations. (note: get your well deserved rest, pocket.)

----goodnight, good morning, good afternoon wherever you are ! !

ok so like i genuinely started crying at this and I don't normally get very emotional. You both left me speechless, so that's one of the reasons why I'm taking so long to respond T^T

I'll split my response here to the both of you!

its kinda long- sorry xD also can I just call yall "the bugs" cuz its just so cute ;-; your names are adorable-

Moth, you are such a sweetheart. Like I said earlier, I'm not someone who gets very emotional! But your words brought tears to my eyes (tears of joy ofc) and it took me a while to respond because every time I saw what you'd written, I'd just have this giant smile on my face. I'm really glad you chose to follow me and I'm so happy you chose to talk to me! I always try to be fun and welcoming so that people who do wanna interact can do so, but I get it, there are so many people here it can get daunting.

But I'm glad you reached out! I'm so happy to have a friend like you! Ima be honest, the first few times you sent something in off anon, I was like "o.o they forgot anon-" BUT NOW LOOK AT YOU! Thank you, I really appreciate it. I'm actually pretty self-conscious about my writing but I try to do my best and post- even though I don't like what I've written, so your words really do help me! You're the type of reader every writer wants. Seriously!!

Ah, Toxin! Yes, I've had her as an oc for such a long time and then I finally perfected her! She's been in so many fics of mine and she's finally getting the recognition she deserves!! I'm glad you enjoyed that fic, it's one of my faves! I planned to do a p2 with some other characters but held off cuz I thought people would get bored- yet here you are, sparking my will to write it again!

I still can't believe I hit 6k! Honestly, that's so many people!! and they all like me and my stuff!! it's really hard to believe- there are days I think its a dream >.< silly, I know xD actually, when I first joined tumblr, it was because of BNHA and I saw this writer who had 10k followers at the time and I just was like "that's not even possible" yet here I am- 4k away T^T

I genuinely hope Xiao keeps you here, but if you have to leave for another fandom that's ok too! I can only hope we'll meet once again there too! I think some people in life are meant to be friends and are just meant to know each other! And I'll hope you're one of them! Cuz you're one of the awesomest friends I've had and I love you as well (/p)!! <333

-

Cicada, omg haiii!! I've heard very little about you since Moth took FOREVER to tell me there's another writer hidden back there!! I'm glad I got a chance to talk to you, even if it's like this! I'm not sure how much you know about me >.< seems like a lot so I'm sorry that I don't know that much about you!

Thank you so much, you're so very sweet and I can't express how happy your words made me. For a long time now, I always wake up and wonder how I can make my friends smile or laugh, and now that's extended to this blog. To hear how happy my writing makes people brings me so much joy that even I can't express it. I know there are many people out there who have lots of things to deal with in life and to know that my writing's helping them through that fuels me to write more!

I'm so glad I can do the same for you! We may not know each other- or maybe it's mostly on my end- but I still want to make you smile! I want to make everyone who stumbles upon my blog smile as well! Life can get hard and it feels so impossible sometimes but if I can give someone the energy to go on, then I'm pretty content with my own! Thank you for reading my works and thank you for telling me this because it really did make me happy.

Aw, thank you, I hope it's not too much! Though I specialize in angst (at least, I like to think so), I wanted to give Moth the opportunity to try! I'll do my best to make the fluffiest fluffing comfort you've ever seen!! Or uh something like that ^w^"

I really do hope that you and I can talk more so I can get to know you! Oh! And that google form- it was super adorable ^w^

-

You two are too kind and you best believe I'm saving this lil ask <3 you both very well made my entire week (along with that meme anon with those cute memes) and I'm sending you both hugs!! or cookies ^w^ whichever you prefer!

Also, it was nighttime when you sent this and now its 3am >///< i need sleep-