#at least i wanna get ONE log in today but yeah....

[elegyofthemoon]

day 2 and they are still very confused about what to do w me and i am also confused but at least i have a schedule.... i just need to wait for them to bring it back to me lmao

did have a very eventful morning and that was super cool except i spent it looking like >:O during the whole thing so

[snowysosturn]

Speeding Car - Matt Sturniolo Part 29

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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Finale

Pairing : y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Summary : After six years with your boyfriend Alex, you start to mentally check out. At a UCLA party, Alex reconnects with his childhood friend Emily, who proposes a double date with her boyfriend Matt. Your attraction to Matt grows as he pays you the first real attention you've had in years, sparking a complicated emotional journey.

Warnings : MDNI, mentions of memory loss, guilt, mentions of car accident, anxiety, angst, trauma

Matt’s POV

Picking Nate up from the airport with Nick and Chris was a nice break from the whirlwind of thoughts that had been consuming me. He looked exhausted after his flight, so we agreed to head straight home so he could crash for a bit. The ride back was full of the usual routine, Nick making jokes, Chris trying to keep Nate awake by asking him random questions. But I barely joined in. My mind was elsewhere, stuck on things I didn’t want to think about.

Once we got home, Nate headed straight for the Chris’ room, mumbling something about needing a few hours of sleep before he could even think straight. I just nodded, feeling the weight of my own exhaustion, even though I hadn’t done much all day. Just eat and drive.

I went up to my room and lay down on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. My mind was all over the place, it was all one tangled mess. No matter how much time had passed, being around Y/n today had brought it all back. Seeing her sitting across from me in that cafe earlier.. how I blurted out her order without even thinking… it felt like a slap in the face, but it was me slapping my own face out of pure stupidity. I was trying to keep my distance, but there was this pull, like no matter how hard I tried to let go, part of me just couldn’t.

I don’t know how long I lay there, just lost in my own thoughts. It felt like minutes, but it ended up being hours. Everything was a blur until I heard a knock on my door.

Chris walked in without waiting for an answer - classic Chris. "Yo, you good?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I mumbled, though we both knew I was lying.

He didn’t push it. "We’re thinking about going to Topgolf. You wanna come?"

I hesitated. The last thing I wanted was to be around people, especially since my mind wouldn’t shut up about Y/n. But I needed the distraction. I couldn’t keep lying here, spiraling.

"Yeah, sure" I said, sitting up and running a hand through my hair. "I’ll go."

Chris grinned, clearly happy with my answer. "Alright, let’s go then. Nate’s already hyped about beating everyone."

I forced a small smile, but inside, I felt like I was barely holding it together. Maybe a few rounds of golf would get my mind off things, or at least, I hoped it would.

-

We pulled into Topgolf and headed inside, grabbing a booth on the top floor. As we settled in, I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling building in my gut. This was the same booth we’d been in when Y/n came with us. I hadn’t been here since that day, and now it felt like everything was rushing back all at once, like the past was coming back to haunt me.

I logged into my account on the screen, waiting for the players to load, and there it was, her nickname, still saved as a player. A flood of emotions hit me hard, like I was drowning. I felt sick. Everywhere I turned, there was a reminder of her, and I couldn't seem to escape it.

Trying to focus, I sat down on the seat, but my mind was spinning. Everything about this place, about today, felt wrong. Nate stood up to take his first shot, when he suddenly turned around and asked: 

"How's Y/n doing Matt? Has her swing gotten better since the last time?" He laughs.

My body froze up. My mind scrambling for what to say. I’d forgotten Nate didn’t know everything that had happened.

"Uh.." I started, but the words got stuck in my throat. What could I even say? That things were beyond complicated?

Nick must’ve sensed the tension, because he quickly jumped in. "She's doing alright. She was in a bit of an accident so just getting back to normal, you know?"

Nate nodded, oblivious to the weight of his question. "Oh god sorry to hear.. You two were pretty close for a while there."

I felt Chris glance at me, but I avoided his eyes. "Yeah.. we were" I muttered, focusing on the course ahead. The words stung more than I expected.

“I’ll talk about it another time, man” I said to Nate, my voice low. “Maybe when my head's clearer.” He nodded, sensing that now wasn’t the time to push it, and thankfully didn’t bring it up again. "Shit, I should’ve asked Madi to come" Nick said, already calling her on FaceTime.

I could hear their conversation from the side, his voice casual. "Can we go to the beach after?" Nick asked. "Madi said she’s near Venice, that she could meet us there."

Venice Beach. Of course. There was just no escaping it. It felt like the universe was messing with me, constantly reminding me of Y/n, of everything I’d lost or maybe never even had.

I sat back, staring out over the range, feeling like I was being pulled in two directions. Was this a sign I was meant to take? Something telling me to face the truth, or just a cruel joke from the world reminding me of what I couldn’t have?

The sun was setting, casting a warm glow over the Topgolf range as we wrapped up the session. Chris was all smiles, having beaten Nate this time. The light banter between them helped ease the tension I’d been feeling, if only for a little while.

We piled back into the car and drove toward Venice Beach. The ride was mostly quiet, the chatter from earlier dying down as we all settled into our own thoughts. I kept my eyes on the road, trying to focus on anything other than the mess swirling in my head. I wondered what Y/n was doing now.

When we got to Venice, the sky was pitch black. We parked near the skate park and met up with Madi, who was waiting with a smile on her face.

She greeted us with hugs, and Nick immediately looped his arm around her, walking ahead as they chatted. We walked toward the beach, the sounds of skaters in the background mixing with the ocean’s waves. I kept my distance, trying to act like everything was fine, but the more I looked around, the more restless I felt.

Being here wasn’t helping. If anything, it was making things worse.

As we walked along the beach, Nate fell in step beside me. He didn’t say anything at first, just quietly observing. Eventually, he broke the silence.

"Hey, man" he started, his voice low, "you wanna talk about Y/n?"

I hadn’t expected him to bring it up so soon, but I guess Nate always knew when something was off. I hesitated, staring at the sand beneath my feet, trying to figure out if I was even ready to say everything that had been eating at me. But avoiding it wasn’t going to help, and maybe talking to someone outside of it all would give me some kind of perspective.

"Yeah" I finally said, letting out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. "I guess it’s time I told you everything."

We slowed our pace, letting Nick, Chris, and Madi walk ahead. I glanced at them, making sure they were out of earshot before I began.

"It’s complicated, man" I said, shaking my head. "Y/n and I… we were something before her accident. I don’t even know if I can call it a relationship, but it felt real. Then she lost her memory after it, and it’s like she doesn’t even know who I am anymore. Alex.. her boyfriend at the time.. remember? Well he was there when she woke up in the hospital, and she thought she was still with him. And I.." I paused, trying to keep my voice steady, "I just didn’t fight for her the way I should have."

Nate looked at me, frowning. "Wait, so Alex just slid back into her life like nothing happened?"

"Yeah" I said, bitterness creeping into my tone. "And I didn’t stop him. I didn’t push, didn’t tell her how things really were between us. I just.. let it happen because I thought she needed space. But now I realize I probably screwed everything up."

Nate nodded, processing everything I was saying. "And she still doesn’t remember you two were together?"

I shook my head. "Not really. She’s been around us but I don't know if she’s putting the pieces together slowly.”

Nate ran a hand through his hair, clearly taken aback by everything. "Damn, man. That’s a lot."

"Yeah, tell me about it" I said, letting out a frustrated laugh. "I just don’t know where I stand anymore. Should I push? Should I let her figure things out on her own? It’s killing me, being around her and pretending like none of it ever happened."

Nate clapped a hand on my shoulder, a serious look in his eyes. "I can’t pretend to know what that’s like, but if you care about her, really care, you can’t keep sitting on the sidelines, man. Maybe it’s time you stop letting everyone else make the moves."

His words hit me harder than I expected. Maybe Nate was right. Maybe I’d been standing still for too long, waiting for something to change when I should’ve been the one making the change.

We caught up to the rest of the group, and I could see Chris running ahead along the sides of the water like a dog chasing a bone.

"Wait, why doesn’t Y/n like fish again?" he asked.

"It scares her when they swim around her feet" I said, laughing a little as the memory came back to me - the small reminder of her, her little quirks, what makes her her.

Chris continued to run ahead, and Madi laughed next to me, unable to control her laughter at the way Chris was running. The beach was nearly empty, and for a moment, I wished more people could’ve seen it like this. Venice was peaceful and quiet tonight. It felt like we had the beach to ourselves.

I glanced around, taking it all in, but that’s when I saw her.

It couldn’t be.

There’s no way she’s here too.

She was leaving.

Fuck.

I have to go after her.

Y/n’s POV

I slammed the door to my car, letting out a heavy sigh. I didn’t even need to think about where I was going, muscle memory took over, guiding me down streets I had driven hundreds of times before. I didn’t bother with Google Maps, I could do this journey in my sleep. My hands gripped the steering wheel tighter than necessary, the feeling of numbness settling deeper with each passing second. Every thought in my head was blurred, but somehow the path ahead was painfully clear.

After what felt like short drive was actually an hour. I turned into the near empty parking lot. LA Kings Valley Ice Center. It was almost surreal seeing it so quiet, the lot nearly deserted, like it was waiting for me, offering me solace. Apparently I hadn’t been here in years, yet it felt like only yesterday that this place had been my second home. A sanctuary. A part of me I’d given up without realizing what I was losing.

For him.

I parked my car, sat there for a minute, and just stared at the building. It loomed in front of me, a reminder of everything I used to be, everything I could have been. The memories of countless hours spent on the ice flooded back, laughing with friends, perfecting routines, pushing my body to its limits. A life I’d left behind, foolishly, for someone who had no place in my future.

Stepping out of the car, I headed toward the front desk, a strange mix of anticipation and apprehension swelling inside me. The older man at the desk smiled at me as if he recognized me, and I couldn't help but smile back, though it felt half hearted. I asked for a pair of skates, and he handed them over with ease, no questions asked.

Walking into the arena, I could hear the familiar hum of the ice machine in the distance. There were two people skating on the rink, a man and a woman, moving leisurely, chatting as they circled the ice. As I stood there, watching them, they drifted off toward the stands and finally out of sight, leaving the entire place to me.

I was alone.

Completely alone.

The feeling of solitude was oddly comforting, like the universe was giving me space to reconnect with the person I used to be, the girl who thrived on the ice, who had dreams that went beyond a relationship or the approval of someone else. The arena was mine tonight. No distractions, no noise. Just me and the ice.

I sat down on the bench and laced up my skates, tightening them carefully, just as I’d done a thousand times before. It felt like a ritual, grounding me. When I stood up and took that first step onto the ice, it was like nothing had changed. The cold air brushed against my face as I glided forward, the sound of the blades cutting through the ice was the only noise in the massive space. It felt like slipping back into an old, beloved routine. How could I have abandoned this?

I started skating faster, gaining momentum with each stride. My heart pounded, and for the first time in days, I felt alive. The ice beneath me seemed to fuel my every movement, my body responding as though no time had passed at all. I weaved across the rink, testing my limits, pushing harder and harder. My muscles remembered every motion, every turn, and I couldn’t help but wonder how I could have traded this feeling for something so fleeting, so shallow.

The thought made my stomach churn with regret and anger. I sacrificed so much for someone who betrayed me, who wasn’t even worth the sacrifice in the first place. The realization stung, but it also fueled me, made me more determined.

I thought about the tricks I used to practice, the ones I’d nail after hours of trying and failing. The triple axel came to mind, one of the hardest, but the one I’d obsessed over. Could I still do it?

I skated faster, building up the speed I’d need for the jump, my mind and body trying to sync. I bent my knees and launched myself into the air but the landing was rough, unsteady. I stumbled out of it and nearly fell, my breath hitching in frustration.

"You know you can do it, Y/n" a voice called out, breaking the silence.

I whipped my head around, searching for the source of the voice. There, standing just outside the rink,

Matt.

I blinked, unsure if he was really there or if my mind was playing tricks on me. He was leaning against the barrier, watching me with an expression I couldn’t quite read.

“What.. what are you doing here?” I asked, my voice shaky as I stood up, brushing off the ice.

"I knew you'd be here" Matt says, his voice steady.

"Wait, how did you—" I start to ask, but before I can finish, he cuts me off.

"I know you better than anyone else, Y/n," Matt interrupts, his eyes locked onto mine with a quiet intensity that leaves me speechless.

I shake my head, overwhelmed. How could he possibly say that? How could anyone claim to know me when I don't even know myself anymore? The last few weeks have been a blur of confusion, pain, and revelations that have turned my entire world upside down. I feel like a stranger to myself, piecing together memories that don’t feel like mine.

"You don’t know me, Matt." I say, my voice trembling slightly as I take a step back, trying to create some distance. "Not anymore. I don’t know if i'm the same person I was before."

He looks at me, his face softening, like he understands more than I want to believe he does. "Maybe not" he admits, stepping forward slowly, careful not to push. "But I know the you standing right here, right now. The you who comes to this rink when the world gets too heavy. The you who still feels at home on the ice, even if everything else feels out of control."

His words hit me harder than I expected. The weight of them presses down on me because he’s right. As much as I want to push him away, to tell him he’s wrong, I can’t. Because in this moment, standing here on this rink, in the place where I’ve always felt the most like myself, he sees me. Maybe even more than I see myself.

But then I really deep it, trying to hold back the emotions building up inside of me. I’ve been holding everything in for so long, trying to be strong, trying to figure it all out on my own. But with Matt standing there, looking at me like he can see through all the walls I’ve built, I feel exposed. I don't understand why he’s here though. All he’s done is act cold towards me for the most part. I skate off the rink into the stands, almost in embarrassment.

"I don’t even understand why you’re here, Matt" I finally say, my voice cracking slightly. The words are more vulnerable than I meant them to be, but I can’t help it. I need answers, and I need them now. "What are you doing here?"

For a moment, he doesn’t say anything, just stands there on the edge of the rinks stands, his expression unreadable. The tension in the air is thick, and the silence feels unbearable.

"I’m here because I couldn’t stay away any longer. I need to tell you everything." Matt finally says, his voice quiet but steady. He looks at me, really looks at me this time, and something in his eyes makes my breath catch. "I know you're confused, Y/n, and I don’t blame you. I should’ve been more honest with you from the start, but everything got so messed up."

I stare at him, trying to process what he’s saying, but it feels like my brain is working against me. "But why?" I ask, my voice almost pleading. "Why didn’t you try? Why didn’t you tell me?"

Matt sighs, and for the first time, I see the vulnerability in him, the cracks in the wall he’s been putting up. "Because I thought you deserved better than to have your life thrown into even more chaos. I didn’t want to confuse you or hurt you more than you already were. Everything was my fault.”

"Your fault? I know everything that happened with Alex, thats not your fault Matt." I say, the words heavy as they leave my mouth. My voice is more uncertain than I intended, and I don’t even know if I’m saying it for him or myself. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you in the hospital, it was all just so overwhelming. But I'm confused about where you come in. What we were.. I just don’t understand it."

Matt stands still, watching me closely. His face doesn’t give anything away, which only makes this more frustrating.

"I feel this pull to you.." I continue, trying to find the right words, even though they feel like they’re tumbling out awkwardly, "And I don’t know why. I feel stupid because you can't even look at me properly."

I stop, catching my breath. The weight of it all feels suffocating, like I’m drowning in a past I can't fully grasp. My heart beats faster with every second of silence between us. Why isn’t he saying anything?

I take a shaky breath, trying to steady myself. "Why didn’t you fight for us?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. "Why didn’t you try?"

Matt looks down, and for a moment, I think he’s not going to answer. But then he looks back up at me, his eyes filled with regret. "Because I was scared" he admits. "When you lost your memory, I didn’t know what to do. I thought maybe it was better to keep my distance. You had enough going on, and I didn’t want to make it worse. I had lost you once, I was afraid I was going to lose you again. I blame myself for the accident."

“What accident?” I interrupt, my frustration boiling over. I can feel my hands trembling, my heart racing. “Everyone keeps saying there was an accident, but no one wants to tell me what it is. What happened before? What happened during it?” I take a shaky breath, the words spewing out before I can stop them. “Can someone please just give me the fucking answers?”

Matt’s voice breaks through the silence, heavy with guilt. “Y/n, you were hit by a car.” The words hang in the air, an anchor dragging me down into a sea of confusion.

“What do you mean?” I whisper, feeling the world around me blur as I struggle to grasp what he’s saying.

“We were at a party” he admits, his eyes filled with an agonizing regret. “I should have kept you safe. I was the one who was supposed to be there for you, and I failed.”

“What happened?” My voice trembles as I try to piece it all together.

Matt’s expression darkens, and he takes a shaky breath. “You ran into the street. I tried to get you off the road, but I was too late..”

He stops, his throat tightening as he presses his hands to his face, fighting against the impact of memories. I can see the pain etched across his features, and I want to reach out to him, to reassure him, but I’m frozen, trapped in my own whirlwind of emotions. His words cut deep, and I feel a mix of anger and sadness wash over me. How could he carry this burden alone? I want to scream that it wasn’t just his fault, that I made my choices too.

“Matt, you shouldn’t beat yourself up over this, its not like you were the one driving, you could’ve never prevented that..” I finally get some words out. 

He shakes his head, tears pooling in his eyes. “You should have never been in that situation. If I hadn’t pushed you away.. if I had just told you how I felt instead of running from it, you wouldn’t have been on that road in the first place.”

I take a step back, trying to absorb everything he’s saying. The fragmented pieces of my life start to form a picture, but it’s still so hazy.

“Please, just tell me what happened” I plead, my heart racing. “I need to know. I need to know it all. From whatever we were to the accident. I need to know it all.”

He looked up at me, I could see the sorrow in his eyes as he nodded at me.

"The night we met.. We clicked instantly. It was a double date. You and Alex. Me and Emily.  There was this connection, like we just understood each other. I remember everything about you.. the little things, I remember your fears and that your favourite colour is green."

He runs a hand through his hair, clearly grappling with the weight of what he’s about to tell me. "We had seen eachother a bit after that, in group settings.. I held a party in my place, Emily actually invited you and Alex. Emily was a mess that night, it was almost like you could see the cracks in my relationship with her too. I could see them in yours too. Our bond only grew stronger that night. There was this one night that changed everything in my eyes. Emily asked me to get her purse from your place. You’d been hanging out the night before and she left it in your apartment by mistake. She got invited by Alex to go out to celebrate his captaincy so she needed it. It was the same night Alex got into that fight. When you opened the door, I could tell you’d been crying, and it killed me to see you like that. I thought about you the whole way home. So after I dropped Emily off at the club, I went back to check on you."

He smiles faintly, as if remembering the night. "I brought you back to my place. We all ended up playing Mario Kart together. Me, you, Nick and Chris." He glances away, a shadow of regret crossing his face. "That's why I was so off the other night.. I felt like I was reliving that night again but in all the wrong ways. But that original game night.. Y/n I can’t explain how much comfort I felt just being near you. I would've kissed you that night, Y/n. I wanted to. But then Nick came in, talking about that fight Alex had gotten into, and the moment was gone. I took you to the hospital since that's where Alex was, and the four of us waited there all night."

His voice softens, and he looks away for a moment. " When I left you and Alex at home, Emily gave me hell for being around you. So I had to cut you off. But.. the feelings I had for you didn’t go away. They never did."

I feel a tightness in my chest, as if my heart is trying to process all of this, the weight of it pressing down on me like a storm.

“I should really thank Nick for a lot of this, because the two of you got close really fast, and no matter what I had going on, he still always included you. He invited you to Topgolf with us one night when I was meant to be keeping our distance. He actually overheard Emily give out to me that night about you. Told me I was stupid for listening to her. It was almost as if he knew I had feelings for you then and there, he never was really fond of Emily. But her and Alex were out of the country together on a school trip , our friends Nate and Madi were coming along that night too so it seemed like no big deal. And I knew deep down I wanted to be around you.”

"Being at Topgolf.. I’ll never forget it.." Matt lightly chuckles, “You were swinging the club as if you were playing mini golf.” He breaks out into a laugh. My jaw drops, “Oh my god.. I’m so embarrassed” I say, covering my hands with my face. "Don’t be embarrassed.. It was cute..” Matt continues. “I helped you with it and you swung like a champ straight away. You didn’t win or anything now but I could see the improvements thanks to me.” He grinned. I gave him a light hit on the arm, the feeling of butterflies bulling through my stomach. 

“Chris wasnt ready to go home so soon, so we went to Venice beach..” We locked eyes with eachother hard. I wonder if he knew I was there tonight.

“We were walking alone on the beach, everyone went ahead into the water. It was just the two of us and I loved every second of it. Being by your side again felt.. freeing. I wanted to kiss you so badly that night too, but then Chris had this whole jellyfish thing." He lets out a bitter laugh. "Even then, I couldn’t get enough of you. You opened up to me that night, told me about giving up skating for Alex."

I stare at him, my mind racing as he speaks. These pieces of a past I can’t remember, the fragments of a life that still feel foreign to me.

"I could just picture you on the ice." Matt says softly, his voice full of admiration. "You were so sad you stopped training for the Olympics. I just wanted to see you happy again. So the next night, I rented out this ice rink right here, just for you. And god, Y/n, if you could’ve seen how you lit up that night. I kissed you. That night, I kissed you, and my god was it euphoric. I stayed in your place that night and we were just inseparable since. Going for brunch, hanging out all the time.."

My breath catches in my throat, but Matt looks away again. I cant believe he’s done this all for me. He tries to speak again clearly struggling with what comes next. "It wasn’t just a crush. I cared about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone. I wanted to protect you, to be there for you.. but I couldn’t even do that right."

I can see the pain in his eyes, the rawness of his confession. The words he’s about to say feel heavy, like a weight hanging between us.

"The night before Alex and Emily came home from Europe, Nick and Chris went to our friend Tara’s party.." he begins, his voice quieter now. "It was just the two of us in my house and you told me that Alex and Emily were cheating on us. I thought that was it. Our way out. I thought we could leave them and be together, I thought it would happen anyway, Youd made it clear you were done with Alex but I know how hard Emily could be, but I was ready, Y/n. I was ready to walk away from Emily and start something real with you."

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. All the confusion I had been feeling, the pull towards him, it suddenly made more sense. 

"But then…” He stops as he reaches in his jean pocket, pulling out a piece of jewellery and handing it to me. An earring, my missing earring. “It must’ve fallen off in my bed when you passed out that night" he said, his voice softening but struggling to get the next sentence out. "You’ve never know this part.. but Emily found it before I could confront her about Alex. She didn’t even give me a chance to explain. She blackmailed me, Y/n. She told me that if I left her, she'd ruin your life. She’d tell Alex everything, twist it, make your life a living hell. I know what shes capable of, so I believed her." Matt’s eyes finally met mine, full of regret. "I didn’t know what else to do. I was a coward. I should’ve walked away, should’ve fought for us right then, but I didn’t. She told me I had to act like nothing ever happened, and that I could never see you again. She made me go to that party with her the night.. I didnt expect you to be there.. Maybe I can give out to Nick for this part of the story since he invited you along to this one.. My world stopped when I spotted you. It was awful. You were so clueless to everything. I knew you say me sitting with Emily. I was torn by what I wanted to do and what I had to do.. I found you in the bathroom.. I told you that what we had was a mistake.. That it was over."

My heart clenched at the memory of his words, even though I couldn’t fully recall them. It was like an emotional scar that hadn’t healed, even if the details were hazy.

"You were devastated, Y/n. I saw it in your eyes. And I’m not going to act like I wasn’t devastated too, even though I had to pretend then." His voice broke again, and he took a shaky breath. "I shattered your heart in that bathroom. And then.. you ran. You ran into the street."

I could see him reliving it, the horror flashing across his face. His hands trembled, and he brought them to his face as if trying to shield himself from the memory.

"I tried to stop you. I tried to yell at you from the balcony.." he whispered. "The last thing I heard you say was that you loved me. I know you were about to say you thought I loved you too, but I cut you off. I told you to get off the road... and then-"

He couldn’t finish the sentence. His breath hitched as he choked back the words, pressing his palms against his face like he was trying to push the pain away.

I stood there, frozen, my thoughts racing, trying to make sense of everything. The accident. The way he’d pushed me away just when its evident I thought we had something real.

"It’s my fault" he whispered, his voice barely audible. "All of it. You were only on that road because I made you believe what we had wasn’t real. But it was, Y/n. It was the realest thing I’ve ever had. I’ve never experienced anything like you. And I’ve been grieving you ever since."

His confession hung heavy in the air, suffocating me with the weight of the truth. All the anger, confusion, and longing I’d felt since waking up in the hospital crashed over me like a tidal wave.

“And I’m so sorry I never fought for you. I know I should’ve, but then Alex appeared in the hospital. And you couldn’t remember me. He was acting like you were still together. You had no memory of us, I caused you enough pain as it was. I didn’t want to make it worse.”

I looked at him, my heart pounding as the reality of his words sank in. Matt's eyes glistened with unshed tears. "I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought it would be easier for you, that you could heal without me dragging you back into the chaos. But I was wrong. I was so wrong."

There was a silence between us, thick with unspoken words and feelings that had been buried under layers of hurt. I could see the regret etched across his face, the guilt weighing heavily on his shoulders.

"I thought I could forget you, that maybe it would make everything simpler," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "But you’re unforgettable."

He stepped closer, the desperation in his eyes mirroring my own. "Y/n, I’ve spent every day since that night wishing I could take it all back. Even how I acted so standoff-ish around you. It’s because I love you. I always have.”

“I want to show you that what we had was real, let you relieve it all. I want to fight for you, if you’ll let me.”

a/n: we have one more part :(

taglist : @muwapsturniolo @anitahunt @sturnfannn @jayde510 @chrissfavhoe @babyalliah-777 @v33angel l @urmom69lol @willowrites @ribread03 @2muchofaslvt @sturnsaver @sleepysturniolo @jcsturniolo11 @jessie-essie @hoeforchrizz @mynbbys @sturniolopanini i @mattsturnxoxo o @delicatechrry @t77te @sturnsyaper69 @hotdismylife @maggot3647 @ivysturnss @noplaceissafeanymore @mattssgf @yourfavsturniologirl @maethem0nth @sillyponygrl @mattyblover07 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @dominicfikeenthusiast @mattsfavbigtitties @ncm9696 @chrisstvrns @schlutt4matty @lvrsturniolo @chrissolos @ilusa @amelia-sturniolo3 @wonnieeluvvr @pussydestroyer100 @amexiass @mystinkylefttoe26 @lizzysmith110 @sturniololovebot @secret-sturniolo @freshythefishy @witchofthehour @stvrnlover @alizestvrnss @beachbabe000 @pinkdyit @pvssychicken @starkeyszn @matts-girlfriend

[harlowsbby]

Back Outside

Liked by sza, urbanwyatt, lilnasx, chloebailey, jaydawayda, latto and 2,557,000 others.

yourinstagram we back outside this summer or what? 🤪

latto newly single this summer? 👀

yourinstagram @latto I don’t kiss and tell 🤫

lilnasx the caption though? what’s tea?

druski2funny say it ain’t so?

urbanwyatt jack said unblock him 👨🏼‍🦯

tmz @urbanwyatt oh? what’s tea?!?

yourinstagram @tmz the tea is jack harlow is a cheater.

Liked by lilnasx, druski2funny, urbanwyatt and 1,658,000 others.

tmz rumors have been swirling that @jackharlow has cheated on @yourinstagram with his costar laura! we weren’t able to confirm these rumors at first… at least until today! looks like a “friend” that was in Jack’s and Laura’s close friends leaked these! We’re assuming Jack didn’t have his now ex girlfriend @yourinstagram added to this list!

Seems like he was keeping these on the low! And based off these captions via the photos while Y/N was sleepin Jack was creepin

lilnasx damnnnnnnnn I wonder who leaked the close friends?! 🤪

druski2funny @lilnasx man you’re fake as FUCK how you gonna do that to Jack?

lilnasx @druski2funny I’m just as fake as that fake ass chain you wear around your neck

druski2funny @lilnasx yeah ima head out 👨🏾‍🦯

urbanwyatt how much could I get if I leaked a video of the two of them making out?

neelam @urbanwyatt URBAN LOG OFF

sza this is why I don’t claim pisces’s men

Liked by urbanwyatt, druski2funny, lilbaby, nemo, champagnepapi and 1,887,245 others.

jackharlow focused on me.

lilnasx how come as soon as a man gets caught cheating he’s suddenly focusing on himself 😂

sza @lilnasx CLOCK THAT TEA

druski2funny stay strong player 🙏🏽

jaydawayda this is so pisces coded I can’ttttt 😂

lilbaby I’d just go ahead and delete this if I was you man

champagnepapi words of advice jack just leak your nudes like I did and they’ll forget all about this shit

urbanwyatt y’all he spent all day crying believe it or not #don’t #believe what you see in photos

lilnasx @urbanwyatt I am ROLLINNNNN

Liked by lilnasx, sza, chloebailey, jaydawayda, druski2funny and 3,999,000 others.

yourinstagram anyways here’s a fun little video to distract y’all from all this mess….

druski2funny a whole thing of toothbrushes why the hell do you need that?

yourinstagram @druski2funny I leave one at every man’s house ima be with this summer 😌

druski2funny @yourinstagram oh 🧍🏽‍♂️

urbanwyatt you so greedy why do you have plastic forks and knives 😂😭😂

lilnasx I’m surprised you ain’t pull out no burger

sza 😂😂😂

jackharlow that lollipop looks good do you wanna share?

yourinstagram @jackharlow boy.

Liked by tmz, urbanwyatt, lilnasx, ellamai, jaydawayda and 999 others.

theshaderoom well we know one rapper that won’t be boo’d up for Valentine’s Day and that’s @jackharlow! looks like he must’ve seen @yourinstagram recent instagram post!! Look like she’s boo’d up with rapper @quavo are we here for this relationship roomies?!

lilnasx oooo she got herself a chocolate man I love this for my good sis

druski2funny I love this for her but I hate the face that she ain’t with me smh

lilnasx @druski2funny you know what lemme not go in on you 💀

sza love this for her!

urbanwyatt ooo jack is screaming and kicking and sliding now the walk rn

neelam @urbanwyatt URBAN BE QUIET

(Hope you guys like this I had no idea what I was doing 😭)

[mysteryshoptls]

2023-2024 Player Birthday Login Message Lines

These are all the messages that you get from the boys when you log in on the birthday that you set in-game from 18 Mar 2023 to 17 Mar 2024! For those that want to hear them, you can find them in the Archive, under the tab その他　→　監督生バースデー③. (This will not be in your game archives until the birthday you set passes.)

You can find the 2021-2022 Birthday Login Message Lines here! You can find the 2022-2023 Birthday Login Message Lines here!

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]. I have arranged for there to be a birthday party in your honor after classes finish for the day. Be sure to finish all your homework before it begins. Of course, that includes your going over what was taught in class. ...You cannot finish in time? I suppose it cannot be helped. I'll help you with whatever you don't understand. However, just know that my instruction is quite strict.

Ace

Hey, [Yuu], Happy Birthday! Must be nice, being the center of attention today. Wanna trade places with me? I'm kidding, c'mon. Like, yeah, I love it when everyone fawns over me on my own birthday, but I'm not against celebrating others either. Guess I should go all out once in a while. You better be ready for it!

Deuce

Today is your birthday, right? Happy Birthday. Here's a face towel as your present. Hm? ...Oh, you don't need to hesitate or nothing. Isn't it normal to want to celebrate your bud's birthday? And 'sides... it's just between you and me. I'm happy for you to take it!

Cater

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]-chan! It's time for your birthday party, huh. Once we get to the venue, let's snap a pic with everyone! We gotta take tons that looks super lively and worth a memory! Ah, and obvi I gotta get me a pic with the two of us! I def don't wanna miss out on grabbing that selfie with the star of the day ♪

Trey

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]. I decided to get you a ball-point pen and a notebook for your birthday. I even looked into a few of the more popular brands, but none of them really called out to me. Sorry it's not anything cool. But I did my best to pick something out for you. I hope you can use it for your studies.

SAVANACLAW

Leona

Yo, [Yuu]. Today's your birthday, right? Good for you. Huh? A present? Yeah, I don't have anything like that for you, why would I? Just be satisfied that I even said anything. I came all this way just to wish you a happy birthday. That should be enough to get your tail wagging, all happy, don'tcha think?

Jack

Oh, I found you. I was looking for you, [Yuu]. Ah, I mean, it's not like it's something super important or anything... But, it's your birthday today, right? Happy Birthday. Here, this is your present, some running shoes. What? You wanna know if that's why I was searching for you? Wh-Why does that matter...? Uh, bye!

Ruggie

[Yuu]-kun, it's your birthday today, right? Shishishi, Happy Birthday! Felicitations and whatnot! You look so much more glam today than you usually do. You've definitely grown. I hardly recognize you～ Amazing! Just the best! Eh? You want more than just words? Well, I can give you a gift, I guess, but... You better give me at least 10 times the amount back～

OCTAVINELLE

Azul

Happy Birthday. Your gift is this board game here. How about a game? If you were to win, I will gift you one more object. Books, clothes, whatever you wish. If you lose... Fufufu, I wonder what I should have you do for me. Think of this thrilling little competition as part of your present as well.

Jade

[Yuu]-san, Happy Birthday. I have prepared a tea press as your present. Do you know how to use it? First, pour boiling water to warm it up, then add the tea leaves and steep. Then pour it from about this high... Perhaps it would be better if I showed it to you. Allow me to prepare you a cup of tea after this.

Floyd

Today's your birthday, right, Koebi-chan? Happy Birthday～ Here ya go, here's your present. What's inside? Well, if I told you, that'd be no fun. 'Sides, you'd be happy with whatever I gave you, right? Lucky you, Koebi-chan. Ahahah!

SCARABIA

Kalim

[Yuu]! Happy Birthday! I'm gonna throw a huge party for you today. I'm getting the venue ready right now, so just wait a bit, okay? But, I guess it'd be kind of boring just waiting around doing nothing. Oh yeah! How about we go for a magic carpet ride? Let's go soaring through the skies together before the party starts!

Jamil

So, today's your birthday. Happy Birthday. Here's a cutlery set as your gift. There's one for cutting meat, fish, and even dessert... There may be many different types, but it might not be bad to learn how to use them all. I'll give you a quick lesson on them later at the party. It'll probably be easier to learn while eating.

POMEFIORE

Vil

[Yuu], Happy Birthday. I've prepared a gift that you could only receive from me. I'll use this carefully selected item and give you a proper lecture on make-up. I wonder just how much of a transformation we'll see. ...Even though this may be your present, I am starting to get excited as well.

Epel

[Yuu]-san, Happy Birthday! I got a super special gift for you. Here ya go, a jacket that's got a rising golden dragon embroidered on it! The inner lining's got a tiger on it! Isn't it cool? U-Uh. Oh, maybe it's not to your liking...? Don't worry about it, I bet it'll totally look rad on you!

Rook

Greetings, Trickster! Happy Birthday! Fufu, as you can see, I was lying in wait for you. I knew that you would be alone at this time, at this very place. How...? Fufu, let's just say it was instinct. Now, please accept my birthday greetings!

IGNIHYDE

Idia

...H-Happy Birthday...　I-I tried to follow in the footsteps of them normies and got you a present IRL... It-It's all the volumes of my number one favorite manga and light novel set. Fuheehee. Spreading the word and bringing in new fans is the best way for those of us in the fandom to thrive! Check it― ......Uh, yeah, if you, uh, get time, please take a look...

Ortho

Based on my data, today's your birthday, right? Happy Birthday, [Yuu]-san! Ah, there's been a change in your vital signs. Your pulse rate and body temperature just increased. Ehe, were you happy that I'm here to celebrate you? It makes me feel so great to see you so happy. Birthday are really nice, aren't they?

DIASOMNIA

Malleus

[Yuu], Happy Birthday. As your gift, I shall play you something on the violin. Which song would you care for? Oh, you would allow me to pick? Hm, which one should it be... If I were to select something that would be adequate for your birthday... I suppose a cheerful song may be in order. It isn't a genre I play often, but I will take this opportunity to give it a try.

Silver

So, today is your Birthday. Of course, I will be attending your birthday party. To make certain I will not fall asleep during the party, I went to sleep early last night. I also took a nap this afternoon, and I've prepared ice to help me stay awake. However, just in case, allow me to say the most important thing up first. [Yuu], Happy Birthday.

Sebek

Hey, human! ...I'm talking to you, [Yuu]! I will give you the honor of my birthday wishes. Your present is a book. Only, I realized that I did not know your favorite genre. So we will go now to select it together. Tell me what kind of books that you ordinarily read.

Lilia

[Yuu], Happy Birthday. We have your party coming up after this, huh. The feast has been well prepared. Of course I didn't hold anything back. I put all of my efforts into making everything. Kufufu, you better be looking forward to it!

OTHERS

Grim

[Yuu]! Happy Birthday! I'll let you have me celebrate it together with you! We gotta chow down on all the tasty stuff! Then we'll sing, and dance, and play games... Nyahahaha! This is gonna be the best day ever! Let's hurry and get to the party venue already!

Crowley

Ta-daaa! What do you suppose this could be? That's correct, it's an exchange coupon for use at the Mystery Shop! You have been a consistent helping hand, so... This is a special gift for you. Happy Birthday. Incidentally, that is only worth 500 madol (5 Thaumarks). It cannot be exchanged for something pricier than that. Please don't hold it against me.

Rollo

Whatever is the matter, [Yuu]-kun? There is a strange glimmer in your eyes... Ah, I see. Today is your birthday. A present? Hmph. I hardly think that it should be something you request of others... But no matter. Indeed, birthdays should be treasured. However, what would be an acceptable gift...? I am afraid I'm rather unaccustomed to this. I would hope I do not disappoint you with a poor gift choice.

Requested by Anonymous.

[pensat-i-fet]

Ask me first (Rúben Dias x Reader)

**I got this request a while ago. Sorry about taking so long. But basically just a bit of angst and I couldn't come up with the reason for the fight until one of the answers Rúben gave to the questions on that app he's a part of now inspired me. Hope you like it ❤️**

Word count: 1047

Masterlist

Wattpad

"What are you doing?", you said, sitting down on the sofa next to Rúben and opening a bag of crisps.

"Answering questions on this app thing".

"Any good ones?"

"Yeah, I guess a few".

"Want one?"

"No, thanks", he answered without even looking at what you were offering. "I want to get this done quickly. We have movie night today".

"I might eat all the snacks before that".

"It wouldn't be the first time", he laughed and you hit him with the bag.

He kept typing on his phone and you got curious. What were people asking? So you downloaded the app and started to read through his answers right when he stopped answering.

"Five children. Good joke".

"It wasn't a joke".

You looked at him, eyebrow raised. "Oh, are you planning on becoming the first man in the world who gives birth? Because I'm not having five children".

"We can talk about it…".

"You can talk while I say no. Ask your mum how easy it's to have a single baby…five! You men are hilarious".

"Other women have more than five", is he for real?

"Good for them. I'm not them".

You got up, picking up the empty bags of snacks to throw them to the bin on the way to your room.

"The kids topic is more serious than this, don't you think?"

"Rúben, don't push it".

"I just don't see why you have to react like that".

"Because you didn't even ask me before announcing to the world I'm a baby making machine".

"That's not what I said", he rolled his eyes.

"It's what anyone would understand reading that answer".

Grabbing your phone, you went into the bathroom. And there you saw your friend's group chat was moving fast. What happened?

"Anyone can sum up the almost 100 messages I missed?"

"We're going out tonight. Wanna come with us?"

It was movie night but… "Sure. Who's picking me up?"

When you went back to the room, Rúben was waiting to try and talk to you but you just walked to the closet and started to get clothes out to see what looked cute.

"What are you doing?"

"Going out with my friends".

"What?", he couldn't believe you were saying that. "It's our movie night. And I haven't been able to spend any quality time with you for like a week".

"Yeah, too bad you messed up being an idiot".

"Come on", he tried to stop you from moving around the room but couldn't. "Don't be like that. I miss you".

"You can see me when I get back".

"At 4 am?"

"I might make it back by 3…does this look good?"

Rúben shook his head, not because he didn't think you looked good but because he knew what you were trying to do wearing such a short dress.

"Call me if you need anything", he said, defeated and you felt bad but…he needed to understand why you were mad.

So you picked up your bag and left.

**

Movie night without you there was boring so Rúben ended up logging off Netflix but left the TV on as background noise while he made a sandwich in the kitchen.

BBC news was on, of course. You were a news freak who loved watching that channel. And while he mindlessly spread some tahini on a slice of bread, he heard a familiar name.

"...there have been two stabbings in a fight. We can't give an official number of injuries but the ambulances have just arrived and are attending all the people here. Many tried to leave the club and hurt themselves on the way out…".

That club…was the club you always went to.

Rúben ran to the sofa to pick up his phone and tried calling you. But you couldn't hear the phone due to the loud music at the club.

"Pick up, pick up …".

Nothing. He tried calling twice and couldn't reach you. The TV reporter said the two people stabbed were male, so at least he knew you weren't seriously injured but why weren't you answering.

"Tanya…she always has her phone in her hand!"

He remembered that fact about one of your best friends and called her instead. When she picked up, he couldn't hear much because of the music.

"Rúben!? You got the wrong girl!"

"I didn't. Tanya, where are you? Are you ok?"

"What?"

"For God's sake".

He hung up and texted her instead, telling her to tell you to call him.

A couple of minutes later, his phone rang and when he saw your name on the screen, he let out a sigh of relief.

"You ok?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I be? Listen, I feel bad about our fight. I overreacted…".

"I don't care. You're fine".

"Wasn't I supposed to be?"

"I saw there was a fight at the club you always go to and worried you could be injured".

"Yeah, we don't go to that one anymore. Dodgy people and all that", you said, casually.

"Where are you then?", when you told him the name of the club, he wrote it down so he could find it on Google maps later. "Can I go pick you up? I…I need to see you're fine".

He couldn't see your smile but could swear he heard it when you spoke again. "Sure. I'm a bit bored anyways. I rather cuddle with you than be here".

"I'll be there soon".

When you found your friends again, you told them about what had happened.

"That place had such bad music anyways".

You shook your head. Only your friends could have that reaction to the news.

And then you kept your phone in your hands, waiting for Rúben's message saying he was there, which didn't take long.

"Gotta go, my loves!", you said, kissing them all quickly before going to meet Rúben.

You spotted him immediately and started to walk towards the car but he met you halfway there, engulfing you in a big hug.

"I was so worried".

"I'm fine, don't worry".

"Also…am I forgiven?"

You laughed at his words and his face. "I guess. But I'm still not having five kids. Let's just adopt five cats instead!"

"That's a lot of cats".

The look you gave him told him enough. "You can't be serious!"

[jaeellec]

Wandering Star Snippet

Currently working on something! (Hint hint: log collection cover with a certain captain...) But today I was thinking about this scene I've had written for a while now! Keep in mind it's not polished or finalized 100% yet, but I think it's funny and have been wanting to share it for quite some time. And since Carmen's powers have been revealed as of last episode, I just decided to go for it today. It is a tiny bit spoiler-y, as it is from a way later episode.

Read below the cut!

Breakfast sizzled and popped in the skillet, and Killer removed it from the stove top to add it to a clean plate on the beaten island countertop behind him. Most of the spread had been picked clean by the crew - minus the captain - who sat and ate at the two tables just on the other side of the counter. The sound of forks scraping plates or cups being put back on the table replaced the usual morning chatter, and upon tiring of the silence, Heat gave a sigh.

“Alright…I’ll be the one to say it: Something happened.”

Most of the crew exchanged glances.

“Yeah?” seated directly across Heat, Haikei raised an eyebrow. “You were at the bar the other night– you saw what went down.”

“No, I mean after that. On the bow. Even after the bar, she still chose our ship. We’re all ordered off deck, and then she doesn’t show for two days?” He glanced over his shoulder to the kitchen. “Boss say anything about it to you, Killer?”

“Not a word,” Dishes clanged out as Killer placed them in the sink, and he grabbed a damp rag to wipe his hands. “You know he isn’t much of a talker.”

“Best stay out of the boss’ business,” Oscar interjected from the other table, warning his fellow crewmates. “This seems personal.”

Wire added, “And as much as I hate to say it…May as well get used to not having her around, anyway. We don’t have much longer before we reach the last island…” as he spoke, Carmen could be seen carefully peering into every angle of the room through the porthole window in the background, though she went unnoticed as Wire finished his thought. “Unless…Think maybe the boss will ask her to join the crew?”

Before any response could be given, the door opened and shut behind Carmen as she strolled in like she was already a part of the crew. Though they were taken off guard by her sudden appearance, they were just as delighted to see her again.

“Budgie!!” Noe happily threw his arms up in a greeting, and she hugged his neck from behind and sweetly spoke.

“Morning, boys,” she let her fingers gently brush against Heat’s smokey locks as she walked past and made her way into the kitchen to see the first mate. “Didn’t make my honey toast?”

“Didn’t expect you to join us – I’m a little surprised to see you this morning.”

Haikei called out to her as he took a bite. “Yeah, what’s the deal? Boss ban you from the ship again or something?”

“Because that worked so well the first time,” she teased with a smirk and Killer slapped her hand when she reached for a piece of toast on the counter. “I just figured you guys were getting sick of me and decided I should show the other crews some love. So! Now that you’ve had a little break, I came over to invite you fellas out tonight. Wanna come? We can have a bit extra fun since it got ruined last time.”

“You know you can count us in, Budgie,” Heat told her, but Wire chimed in with the concern.

“Doing okay? We haven’t really seen you since the other night.”

She crossed her arms and leaned her hip against the counter, not thrilled that the topic came up. “I’ve certainly been in worse situations.”

“That bastard….” Bubblegum gripped his fork just thinking about it. “Boss shoulda killed him.”

The Massacre Soldier spoke up. “Who’s to say he didn’t? At the very least, that guy won’t be walking that hit off for quite some time. So good news there. And speaking of the captain…” he turned his attention to Carmen. “Why do I get the sense you’re avoiding Kid?”

With a successfully stolen piece of toast in hand, Carmen could only offer a poorly-done change in subject. “Where’s your ‘Don’t Touch Anything’ apron? I like when you wear it.”

As she awaited his answer and went to bite into a corner of the toast, the door opened, causing her eyes to go wide and her body to drop on all-fours. The crew sounded out with casual greetings that were a mix of “Morning, Captain” and “Morning, Boss”, though she only heard him grunt in response and his approaching footsteps as she crawled around the far end of the counter, hair dragging the floor and toast hanging from her mouth.

“Morning, Kid,” Killer told his captain, who now stood where Carmen had just been as he handed the redhead the freshest plate.

“Go ahead and start morning routine without me, men,” Kid’s delayed reply was an order, and Carmen pressed her back into the end of the island as she intently listened, especially for footsteps. But for now, it seemed she was safe with more orders. “I got some work I wanna get done. Last I checked, we’re still on course to dock this afternoon. I want one of you to take an inventory check – see if anything needs restocked.”

“How about fruit?” Wire suggested. “Budgie may be willing to make us some more jam.”

From her hiding place, Carmen gave a thumbs-up to Haikei who confirmed for the crew. “Yeah, good idea. I get the feeling she’d be happy to.”

“Not much use for jam if there’s nothing to spread it on,” the redhead was aggravated as he observed the plate with a single piece of toast and mere crumbs. “Which one of you took an extra piece?”

Carmen’s face was flooded with dread as she heard Killer began his answer. “Oh, that was my mistake, Kid. Almost forgot,” the Massacre Soldier’s hand reached and yanked the somehow unscathed toast from her mouth, and she listened with wide eyes as he explained. “It got dropped this morning. The floors are clean if you want it.”

She heard his typical grunt of a response, but then came the concerning part – approaching footsteps. In a panic, she was on all-fours again, scuttling her way around to the outside of the counter. Some of the crew members were amused while others exchanged nervous glances as they watched her attempt at stealth while the captain once again stood where she had just been.

With only one arm, he placed the plate on the counter and began pouring a glass from one of the available pitchers. But with his height and the worried grimace on Carmen’s face, it was clear there was a real possibility of her being caught – any movement from her would be sure to catch his attention.

“Um…” Wire nervously spoke up. “Were there any more orders, boss?”

Carmen listened carefully with bated breath. From where she was pressed up against the island, she could just get a glimpse of those ridiculous lizard-print pants and that maroon feathered captain’s coat.

“Morning routine. Inventory,” he spoke after some thought, and stuffed his mouth with two pieces of bacon from the plate. “Prepare to dock in a few hours.”

“We’re on it, Kid,” Carmen heard Killer say, and the captain must’ve looked to his first mate because Bubblegum frantically gestured for her to move with his eyes. Quickly and quietly, she used her powers to levitate just above the ground and move towards the other end of the island, her calves down glowing blue and the usual trail of sparkles lighting up behind her.

“If one of you handle inventory, I’ll take over your part of morning routine,” Reck offered to anyone. “It’s been slow around here lately; I wouldn’t mind some extra work.”

Just as he finished his sentence, Carmen safely pressed her back to the end of the counter, though the sanctuary would be short-lived.

“Whatever, just get it done,” Kid placed his cup on the plate where bacon had been and carried the dish in his single had. “I’ll be in my quarters.”

Carmen had heard the footsteps immediately after the words, and before she knew it, she caught a glimpse of him walking by out of the peripheral of her wide eyes. An instant reaction, she was on all-fours for a final time, scurrying back around the counter, past Killer in the kitchen, and all the way back around to the far end where she stayed until she heard the captain kick the door close behind him.

“Whew!” she exclaimed when she bounced up, and the first mate already had his eyes on her through the mask.

“You owe me.”

“Of course, Kill,” Carmen took one of his hands and looked up to him with the utmost gratitude. “Buy you a drink tonight?” She offered as she span around him back into the kitchen where she was delighted to see that last piece of toast still on the plate. “Ooh~” As quickly as she saw it, she swiped it and was already hurrying to the exit. “Actually, I owe all of you for that. First round on me tonight! See you boys later!”

And just like that, she gone – door closed behind her and all – rushed out to avoid any and all questions.

“Alright…” the Massacre Solider spoke up to his crew, but those blue eyes behind that mask were fixed on the door. “Something happened.”

[rosainta]

Day 2 of Rosain Quivan’s Daily Logs

Started December 7, 2023 at 10:00PM, Home

Finished December 8, 2023 at 10:42PM, Home

Log #2

Author's Notes:

I started this yesterday from a sudden shower inspiration thought. Who would’ve known that the most bizarre of ideas could be generated while cleansing yourself?

Anyway, this idea is just pure dialogue between Sniper and Scout from Team Fortress 2. No romance implied, but you could interpret it that way. I'll be completely honest with you- I'm very adamant when it comes to accurately representing their relationship, whether it be in a canon-compliant friendship / coworker way or in a romantic setting (specifically the latter, since I have to admit that I am an intense Speeding Bullet fan, though of course I love any other old depiction of the two, as well as other ships as long as they are respectfully expressed). Though this adamant demeanor towards accuracy helps me find out what I like to see in works including these two goofballs, I'm not entirely sure if I can transform those standards into my own writing... since I've never tried it yet! So, take this as another practice round, this time more centred on character depiction and dialogue (that, hopefully, doesn't sound like a cringey 15-year-old's WattPad fanfiction...)

Warning: a few colourful words here and there.

If you want a part 2 for this, let me know down below! I'll be happy to write anything, though. And also, if you have any feedback, please let me know! I strongly appreciate it :-)

Title: Intention. Fandom: Team Fortress 2 Third-person objective New Mexico, Badlands, Badwater Basin, (fixed the order; that was bugging me last time), RED Sniper's Campervan Around 3:15AM, sometime during the Gravel War

“Snipes... Snipes, you awake?”

A long pause. Then, the sound of dog chains jingling. A bed creaks violently.

“Sniper, get up, you gotta help me here!”

A low grunt, a shift in the covers.

“Ngh… can’t this wait? It's..."

A shift in the sheets, someone leaning to squint towards a clock.

"Crikey, half past three?! What in God's name do you think you're doing?"

"Trying to wake your sleepy ass up, stupid!"

A loud groan. Possibly the sound someone rubbing their temples together.

"Did you know that the average human being needs shut-eye to survive? Ain't that wild? Or perhaps you didn't come along to learnin' that at kindie yet?"

"Oh, just... just shut up and help me out, will ya? Look, I'm sorry it's so late, but this is really, really urgent, okay? And this concerns more than just the both of us, but you were the closest person I could find, so I need you here. I promise, I'll be outta your hair after all this."

A sigh.

"... if this is an emergency with the sheila again, go ask Spy. I'm sure he'll be 'appy to see your squirmy little arse again."

"Hah! Yeah, as if. He's probably out screwin' the Eiffel tower or somethin'; wouldn't wanna see, much less hear that, though I can only imagine the snorting sound he'll make when he- argh, anyway, that's besides the point! Point is, it's not about Miss P, it's about..."

A pause.

"...it's about what? Who?"

"Well, it's about Engie..."

Another pause.

"...and? Come on, Scout, get to the point, or I'm going back to sleep."

"Okay, okay! Well, I don't exactly know how to put this, but I think- or at least I have a feelin'- that he might, maybe, possibly, be workin' ... for BLU."

The bed creaks again.

"What, you think we got an enemy Spy in the base?"

"No, it's not that. He passed the security check earlier, because I was on rounds for that today. I think that our Engie, like the real one, well, I think he's double-crossin' us or somethin'."

"And why do ya' think?"

"Well, this afternoon, near the intel room, I was sorting my comics out when I saw him doin' this thing, where he would be all suspicious lookin' and shifty-eyed, then he'd pull out one of those 'computah' things, or whatever they're called, and start typin' really fast, like he was in a rush or something. Then, whenever someone passed him, he'd shut the screen down really quickly like this-"

A clap.

"- and would look at the person with a goofy little grin, as if he wasn't just sendin' some, I don't know, ransom photos of someone's wife a few seconds ago. He even had the audacity to wave to Pyro when it walked by, and I think even it found it a bit weird 'cuz it made this strange garbly noise I've never heard it make before. But anyway, he'd open it again and do the same thing over and over again until it was lights out. It was so suspicious. I didn't say anything then, 'cuz, you know, I didn't want him to know I was staring at him like a creep or somethin-"

"Which you are."

"Whatever, now, get this-"

A dramatic pause. Two hands are slapped on someone's shoulders.

"I go back to my room, and you know how his is right next to mine?Well, I wait outside the door, and I'm about to say 'good night' or something like that and maybe sneak in a question about his secret porn addiction, but... he doesn't go to his room. No, he turns the corner, goes out... and starts headin' in the direction of BLU's base."

Silence for a moment.

"You sure he wasn't just, you know, heading out for a hookup or somethin'? I hear a lot of people south-east go troppo for one-night-stands."

A slight shaking movement from the hands to someone's shoulders, dog chains jingling.

"Argh, Snipes, freakin' please?! I'm bein' serious here. He doesn't usually do that, I'd know because every night he plays those cheesy old cowboy country songs on his radio and goes to sleep, which keeps me up all night because I can hear it through the freakin' wall. And don't you think it's a bit strange how he was reacting when he was on the 'puter? No one would do that, even if it's for a hot night out."

A hand grips one of the latter's on someone's shoulder, as if to push it off.

"Well, maybe for bogans like you, who don't have the slightest bit of public decency when it comes to flirtin' with any skirt you see. And what right do you have stickin' your nose in his business? He could have as well been headin' back to Teufort to buy some quick supplies for his sentries, or hell, maybe even just going to see The Admin."

"Well, actually..."

The hands slide off the shoulders.

"I may have trailed him a bit. You know, just outta curiosity."

"You- you followed him? In the middle of the night?"

"Look, man, I had to do what I had to do to make sure that I wasn't going to have my head end up in someone's refrigerator the next day."

"But you do realize that you were being just as suspicious, more so really, as he was by trailing him?"

"Well, yeah, but- okay, look, that don't matter now, alright? What matters now, is that I found out where he was going. And it was the BLU base, I saw him sneaking in without gettin' shot by a sentry or a look-out, but I couldn't stay for long since they woulda caught me instead. But luckily, his little visit wasn't without a little proof. Check what I found-"

Knuckles slide against firm wood as someone picks up a small metallic object from a nearby dresser, holding it in front of them.

"This."

Someone snatches the object, clicks on a lamp, and observes it intently. A sleepy yawn.

"What is it?"

"I think it's called a U.S. Bee, or something? I don't remember what he called it, but he told me it's like a little key you put inside the compooter and it stores, like, info and crap. I don't know, something nerdy that only he and Medic would understand."

"Hm.... An' how do you know it's his?"

An impatient whine.

"I don't know why you're being so skeptic and shit about this, Snipes, I literally told you the story and brought a goddamn piece of useful evidence! Do you still not trust me? What more do you want from me here? A picture of his ass in blue?! Wait a sec- hold on- are you freakin' workin' with him?!"

A quiet sigh, someone shaking their head.

"Alright, mate, I'm sorry, okay? Veg out, now. No, I'm not workin' with 'im, and I do trust you, I really do. It's just that... I find it hard to believe that Engineer of all people, a man with whom we've been working with for 4 years now, would all of a sudden head up and go against his entire team like that, especially in such a dangerous manner when he knows that someone else could be, you know, spyin' on him."

"I wasn't spyin' on him, I was just-"

"You said yourself it don't matter, so it don't. What I'm saying here is that we don't know his intentions here. For all we know, he could be using his little device of his to gather intel on the other team, or he could be, I don't know, doing a secret contract or something. I just feel that it's unfair that we rush to conclusions like that, especially for one of our coworkers who may really be doing us a service, mate."

Quiet for a bit.

"You alright there?"

"No, I- I get it... I just, I just really feel like I found out something critical, you know? Like, it's not everyday you see one of the team be so secretive like that, well, except I guess Spy."

"Well, we all have our own secrets, don't we?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

Quiet. A few gentle pats on the back.

"But... wouldn't it be a good idea to try and find out what that thing, like, has? I mean, you know, just to prove that Engie really didn't have any bad intentions?"

"Yes, but that would be quite a breach, no? He'll most likely be looking for it in the mornin' and if he finds out you were givin' his equipment an unauthorised burl, well, say g'day to your dispenser privileges for the month."

"Well, what if I did it now, while he's still away?"

A pause.

"That's risky."

"I'll be fine."

"Alright, you do you. But how would you know where to start? And if you did get it to work, understanding what you're seeing is another question entirely."

"Hmm..."

Someone rubs their finger over their chin, pondering.

"Oh, I know! Medic, he'll know. Those two dweebs spend so much time doin' those experiments together, I don't doubt he'll know what the heck to do with this. Plus, man probably never sleeps, so it's basically 24/7 with him."

"Okay. Well, chookas with that, mate. I'm heading back to nap. G'night now."

The sheets shift for a moment, before an arm reaches out to stop them.

"Ah, um- thanks, pally. For listenin' and all. I know you don't really believe me or anythin' but, uh, I'm glad you didn't doze off halfway through."

"No worries."

"Yeah."

A pause.

"So, ehm, I'm gonna do that now."

"Oh, yeah, right, I'll head out now. Night, Snipes."

"G'night."

The light clicks out, and a figure scurries away into the night. Then, a sudden shift.

"Wait a minute, how did you get inside?"

Credits: Team Fortress 2 by Valve Image source: Team Fortress 2 Written by Rosain Quivan Cross posted on Amino ( Rosain Quivan )

[blond-b]

TW: €D

My new rules for myself

Try not to eat high cal foods unless it’s in front of someone else (you need to keep others thinking that you DO eat normal, but you don’t have to eat more than it takes to convince others)

No more than ONE sweet a day (you are a fat ass, and you will binge a whole tray of brownies if your not careful. Never eat more than ONE)

No excuses about exercising (aw, your a little sore? Get over it. Do at least 5 miles, unless your in extreme pain, or physically can not exercise, there is no excuse.)

Do more than cardio. (You KNOW that muscle burns more calories than fat, you also know that your tummy looks frumpy even if your skinny… unless you tone it up. Don’t be lazy, you have no excuses. Do your workouts)

Always be moving (sitting down? Wiggle your toes or bounce your feet. Laying in bed? Do leg raises, or side leg raises, and move your arms some. Standing in line? Shift weight from one leg to another. Even small movements burn more cal than if you weren’t doing them.)

Only binge on foods that don’t matter (your high and wanna binge? Okay, eat watermelon, have an ice pop, have some broccoli, or strawberries. NO JUNK, save your junk food for your sober mind to decide on)

Stay active on rest days (you get one day a week to not exercise, that however does NOT mean be lazy. Instead, clean your room, play with your dog, go swimming, clean the kitchen, do anything to get some passive movements in. Your resting your exercises muscles today, NOT your whole body.)

No lying to yourself. (You binged? You went over on cals? Ate too much of a cal dense food? LOG IT. Telling yourself “I know I messed up, I don’t need to log it to know it” has to stop. You need to be honest with your future self, she’ll ask “why didn’t I lose any weight this week??” And she deserves to look back and see why. That and lying to your app just sets yourself for failure. You won’t know how much to restrict to make it up.)

Fruit/veggie fast the day after a high cal day. (You fucked up. Get over it, and fix it. Only eat low cal fruits and vegetables the next day, you’ll feel full but still be in a cal deficit. You may be starving, but you don’t need to feel it.)

Rules I’ll be implementing when school (college) starts back up

At least one day a week, eat less than 500 cal.

Meal prep low cal high nutrient foods. (You need protein, you DONT need extra calories. Boil some chicken, shred it, add some low cal seasoning. Do NOT add unnecessary things like oils, mayo, ranch, cream cheese NO. You want the protein that why you eat. Not for enjoyment)

You have a free gym membership, use it. (Oh, it’s ‘embarrassing’ working out in front of others? Get tf over it. You need to use the treadmill, and the stair master can burn EVEN MORE. Get over yourself and do it)

Bad weather isn’t an excuse. (It’s snowing? Tuff luck. Walk your ass to the gym and go on the treadmill. Its raining? Same thing, walk your ass to the gym and work out. Excuses build fat.)

Eat within your calorie deficit every day. (you have roommates? Worried the will notice how little you eat? Say you eat breakfast in your room, they don’t know what you keep there. They start acting worried? Wake up before them, say you ate. Get home after them, say you ate out. Lie.)

Rules for once I hit my UGW (125lbs)

Don’t stop. (So, your skinny now? So what. You can still look better. You can still lose fat. It’s time to focus on BUILDING muscle. Of course, not too much you don’t want to look like a man, but enough that you could be a swimsuit model.)

Track with Pictures more than anything (the plan is to build some muscle while cutting fat still now, yeah? So the number on the scale won’t be a completely accurate reflection of your efforts anymore {this does not mean stop weighing yourself}. You can look skinnier and weigh more with muscle, and we care about LOOKS not numbers)

Don’t let the doc.’s know. (This is where building muscle can come in handy. You don’t want to be stopped, so weigh a “healthy” weight, but let that “healthy” weight come from muscle, not fat. They never have to know.)

Don’t get bulky. (Yes, we’ve now switched mindsets from LOSING weight to GAINING muscle. That does not mean get bulky. Your goal is to look like a activewear model. Toned, fit, strong, but still dainty.)

Don’t stop cardio. (Cardio is what will KEEP you lean. Adding strength training does not allow you to cut out cardio. Remember, we NEVER want to look bulky.)

[casewonnie]

a/n: ummm... i was bored so i made this short sunoo one-shot and reader "playing" the sims 4 cause i was bored and want to play games with sunoo

“that is not how riki looks like and frankly, he’d be offended if he saw that” sunoo complained with a scowl on his face. you both decided to play the sims 4 and make your entire friend group in the game and make them live together, which sounded fun in theory but in reality, you underestimated just how difficult it is to make an accurate portrayal of someone without making them look... off. it's already been like one hour and you were still stuck on the second member 

“i think the “vibes” of the character count more, we’ve got his clothing choices right at least” you said with reassurance, it was just a game after all, surely, they wouldn’t take offense to not getting their looks with 100% accuracy 

“ugh this is the worst i can’t get his hair right... we should’ve put in that one add-on” sunoo complained and put his hands on his face, crying into them “it’s fine we’ll just give him a duck hat and hope for the best” he composed himself and continued improving his character, changing up his features to see what fit best and what didn’t 

“i honestly think he looks fine, let’s just move on we have 6 more people to make” you tried to get things moving a bit faster, starting to regret suggesting playing the sims 4 in the first place 

“don’t forget the pets as well. if we don’t incorporate them into this world, the guys will personally make sure we never play the game again” sunoo sighed at the thought of his members and their... friendly personalities 

“it’s fine~~ the guys won’t find out. i mean, they wouldn’t know unless they break into the computer to log into the game and personally check, or start to investigate it themselves by being nosy and ask a million questions, right?” 

“oh trust me they’ll do worse than that, so i say chop-chop and get to making these characters” you were hoping for a simple “i agree let's move on” but nope... today was not it 

“alright then... but I'm faster than you, hand me the mouse” after another 10 minutes or so you were finally done with riki’s character in the game and moved on to the next. things moved slightly faster after that and you managed to get through every single one of your friends in a matter of an hour... yes, their pets as well.  

“wow” you both audibly exhaled and leaned back from the computer, just to relax a bit after all that grinding for what felt like a whole working shift, your eyes were starting to water, muscles felt still as a board. you're pretty sure you were going to get a headache after that and the things was, the game had just started 

“we still haven’t chosen where we wanna play” sunoo added after a big stretch  

“yeah...” you just said simply “or, we could go for coffee” you were craving some caffeine right about now, and probably a sandwich or anything savory would do, it just had to be food

sunoo looked at you and started thinking for a moment, scrolling through all the possibilities the outside held, freedom felt so close by, he could practically taste that mint-choco latte, or mint-choco cookie, or even ice cream would do at this point and his destiny was all in his hands, he must take the chance

“let’s go!” he exclaimed and got up from the chair in a second, grabbing you along, almost falling off of your chair catching yourself immediately and adjusted to his pace, leaving the fictional world gameplay for another day

[themagikmirror]

Spirituality often over promotes 👑 the crown/third eye 👁️ spaces without talking about the importance of grounding & working with the lower chakras/the physical realm. Make sure you have BALANCE!

❗️All the answers are not in your head orrr on your phone❗️

Someone commented on TikTok asking me to list the first 3 Steps toward getting grounded. Here's a concept :

Reclaiming Reality

Many times we tap out of our center, disconnect from our roots and disassociate from reality without even knowing it. We lose ground, so we have to RECLAIM our REALITY. This is a practice that can be implemented to maintain an inner knowing of what's real and true, create a space for restoration, nourishment and balance no matter what's going on in the external. There are so many ways to do this, but the first 3 Steps to creating a grounding practice & reclaiming your reality I would recommend are :

GETTING OFF THAT FUCKING PHONE

lmaooooo I know we hate to see it but, its just what your ancestors have been trying to tell you for so long. It's what my ancestors tell me too. It's what our souls need.

"You don't need a timeline cleanse, you need to actually stop looking at your timeline. You don't need to go LIVE, you need to go live." - The Magik Mirror

By starring at screens all day, what we're actually doing is focusing on someone/something external that ultimately has little to do with our own reality. We give our energy, power & focus away for free when we could be doing much more intentional things. Yeah babe, I know you get inspired by what you see. I know you get motivated. I know you wanna see the latest tea. But getting off our phones and more importantly logging off social medias will solve about 50% of the lack of ground you may experience in this present day & age. Getting of your phone will also help you reclaim your reality because you will be focused on what/who is directly around you. The things that you're unsatisfied with you will begin to think about how to change it vs. living vicariously through influencers and people promoting whatever trendy lifestyle is viral across social media. You will experience a boost in creativity because you won't be hyper-focused on what people are promoting you to do/be/sell/buy. You will become more authentic. You will reclaim your imagination, your third eye, your crown, your headspace. You will hear your intuition more clearly. And soon your life will be filled with things that don't require you to really use your phone so much unless you choose to...

2. Schedule something(s) repetitive (daily/weekly/monthly)

One of the toughest things I've faced during and post pandemic (if we truly can even say we're post pandemic) is the challenges of being unemployed. The most valuable lesson I've learned from being unemployed for a collective period of 2 years : A routine or schedule is essential, but even more, having rituals that are unrelated to work or hardcore productivity is key! We don't just need a work schedule. We need a self care routine, creative routine, workout routine, spiritual routine, time cut out for loved ones and socializing. It's not about being a control freak and planning every moment of your days. In fact, you have the power to cancel your own plans and say "I'm not feeling that today", but at the least, having a schedule of events that produce joy and a multitude of other experiences can help with grounding and reclaiming your life and reality. When I didn't have a full time job taking a chunk of my day, I had no clue what to do with myself 10+ hours daily. This added to my growing anxiety, depression, grief and more. In the time I was unemployed I would drown myself in meditation, self improvement activities & spiritual work like journaling, reading, learning,etc. to help me control the spiral I was on, but I realized being in my head so much was actually contributing to my lack of ground. There's nothing wrong with meditation, self improvement activities & spiritual work. However, there should be proper time, space & balance as stated prior. Sometimes the meditation/self improvement/healing and spiritual gems are in the application or getting back out there. It's in that daily walk/run, cooking, spending time with people, visiting shops, treating yourself to cosmetics and grooming, seeing a movie, listening to music, challenging yourself to try new things on a regular basis, dedicating yourself to a schedule that helps you create a life you can enjoy RIGHT NOW! I challenge you to pencil activities you both NEED & WISH to do into your daily life and watch how the magic of scheduling and ritual creation changes your life, pumps power back into your being and helps you to be grounded & balanced.

3. Spending More Time Alone

Sometimes you're not grounded, your reality is warped & you've disassociated from your truth because you're no longer centered. You can't think of the last time you took a full day to yourself. You may always be surrounded by people from work, to family, friends & associates of these different communities. You also may share your living space. At times it can feel like it's impossible to be alone. That is until you start doing it. You don't have to take a 5 Star vacation to get the quality alone time you need. You just have to create space and set boundaries with yourself. What will that alone time look like, feel like, smell like, sound like, what will it be filled with? Is it simply uninterrupted rest? You will have to first carve out time to see what alone time calls from you. Sometimes alone time is at the gym. Sometimes its in a creative spell. When we are alone we can regulate, unclog, unstimulate, gain clarity and more. An overstimulated, busy body is not grounded. Find your center.

Follow me on TikTok + Facebook to see video content there first! 🪞✨Remember Spiritual sessions & courses are available for booking with me through facebook or dm

[emmerrr]

snow way

[this fic is also on ao3]

-

Ronan wasn’t usually one for answering unknown numbers. In fairness he rarely answered numbers he did know, unless it was Adam, or if the number of missed calls exceeded fifteen or so. 

This call, however, he answered the second time it tried him. Nuisance callers didn’t usually try twice in quick succession, and besides, Ronan had a bad feeling. He couldn’t explain why.

“Hello?”

“Ronan,” said Adam, surprise colouring his voice. “You answered.”

Dread settled in Ronan’s stomach. “You better be calling from a fucking airplane.”

“My flight was cancelled.” 

Well, at least Adam ripped the bandaid off all at once. Ronan’s grip on his phone tightened. “Why?”

“There’s a blizzard, Ronan, don’t you watch the news?”

“Is that a serious question, Parrish?”

Adam sighed. Ronan missed that sigh. He was supposed to be hearing that sigh in person in just a few hours. “I’m completely stuck. There’s nothing leaving JFK anytime today, maybe not even tomorrow. And I have no signal on my cell plus my battery’s about to die, so I’m having to use a payphone – did you know they still have payphones?”

Ronan did not know that they still had payphones, but it was also clear to him that Adam was trying to distract Ronan from the matter at hand, and whilst he loved him for it, it didn’t make the news any easier to take. It was incredible how quickly misery could descend on a person. In a small voice that Ronan knew sounded nothing like his, he said, “But it’s Christmas Eve.”

“I know, Ronan, I’m sorry.”

Ronan hated it when Adam apologised for things that weren’t his fault. “It’s fine, Parrish, just…just get here when you can, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“This fucking sucks,” he said, because it needed to be said.

“Agreed. Ah, shit, I gotta go, there’s a line of people behind me. Look, maybe go to Declan’s for Christmas? You know he’ll be happy to have you.”

Ronan knew that he’d be welcome at Declan’s because he was always welcome at Declan’s; how happy his older brother would be about it was a different matter entirely. “Maybe,” he said, which was as good as a no.

Adam neatly interpreted it. “It’d be better than being on your own.”

“I’d just depress everyone by being a miserable bastard.”

“Every household needs a miserable bastard at Christmas,” Adam joked, but he said it in a gentle way that made Ronan’s heart ache with missing him.

“I’ll think about it.” It was the best he could offer.

“Alright. I really am going now.”

“Try and call, if you get a chance. I’ll answer if it’s you.”

“You always do,” Adam said. “Merry Christmas, Ronan.”

The line clicked dead. Ronan sighed. “Merry fucking Christmas.”

-

As promised, Ronan did think about going to Declan’s for about five seconds until he decided that if he couldn’t see Adam then he didn’t want to see anyone at all. He was aware he was being dramatic about it, but he also didn’t care.

Of course, none of this stopped Declan from calling later that afternoon as Ronan sat on the floor in the living room in front of the fireplace, feeling mightily sorry for himself.

“It’s come to my attention that you’re alone for the holidays.”

Ronan tossed a log onto the fire. “Did Parrish call you?”

“Of course not, I saw it on the news. It said all the flights were cancelled.”

“Since when does everybody watch the fucking news,” Ronan grumbled.

Declan ignored this. “Just come here instead. Then on the 26th you can pick Adam up from the airport if he manages to get a flight.”

“Nah, I’ll pick him up from here, I was going to do that today anyway.”

“Well, what are you going to do between now and then?”

“I’m sure I’ll find a way to fill the hours, Deklo.”

“Yes, that’s what worries me.”

Ronan couldn’t even find it in him to be annoyed at being patronised. “I’m not gonna do anything, I’ll just fuckin’...I dunno, sleep or something. I’ll be fine, I just wanna be on my own.”

There was a brief silence. “Matthew would like it, if you came.”

This usually would be a surefire way to get Ronan straight into a car and on his way, but not today. Trying to put on a happy face for Matthew sounded exhausting.

“I’ll come in a few days, when Parrish is here. Matthew would like that better. The more the merrier, right?”

“If you’re sure,” Declan said. “You know where we are if you change your mind.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“It’s just a couple of days, Ronan. He’ll be here before you know it.”

“Yes, but he’s not fucking here now, is he,” Ronan snapped before he could stop himself, then immediately felt bad because he knew Declan was actually just trying to be nice. “I’ll call you guys tomorrow. Go have some eggnog or some shit.”

“I hate eggnog.”

“That’s the spirit,” Ronan said, and hung up.

-

He woke up on Christmas morning freezing cold and with a crick in his neck. He was still on the floor in front of the fire which had long since burned out, and Chainsaw was busy trying to drag his blanket away to add to her hoard under the armchair.

He let her take it and sat up, stretching. He’d fallen asleep watching Netflix, but the TV must have long since switched off on its own. Ronan looked over at the Christmas tree in the corner, the shoddily wrapped gift for Adam underneath seeming to mock him.

He reached for his phone, but there was still nothing from Adam, no messages, no calls from unknown numbers. Ronan tried to call him but couldn’t get through. He knew that Adam had said he had no signal and his phone was about to die, but still, he’d feel better if he could hear his voice.

(He’d feel better if Adam was here, with Ronan where he belonged, not stuck in an airport in a blizzard on Christmas Day.)

Breakfast was the first thing on his to-do list, so Ronan made his way to the kitchen. He stopped in front of the window, noticing that it was steadily snowing, a fine layer already covering the ground. It would have made him smile under any other circumstances, but today it represented the reason he was currently Adam-less.

He scowled and was about to close the shutters so he didn’t have to see, when something moving outside caught his eye.

Someone was walking up the driveway towards the house, a large duffel over his shoulder and wearing a coat that was nowhere near appropriate for the weather.

It was, unbelievably, Adam.

Ronan was out the door before he even knew he was moving.

“Adam! Parrish!” he yelled. “Adam!”

Adam broke into a run as soon as he saw Ronan, and they collided; Adam in Ronan’s arms again at last, solid and real and fucking freezing.

“Come on, let’s get inside, quick.”

“Ronan, you’ve got no shoes on!”

“I know!” He grabbed Adam’s duffel and then his hand, towing them both swiftly back indoors.

After building a new fire up in the living room and dumping Adam in front of it along with all of the blankets retrieved from Chainsaw’s hoard, Ronan made them each a coffee and then sat down, Adam’s legs draped over his.

“You managed to get a flight out then?” he guessed.

Adam shook his head. “Nope, There’s still nothing until tomorrow, as far as I know.” He had both hands cupped around his mug, his cheeks and the tip of his nose still looking a little pink from the cold, but above everything else he just looked so relieved to be home.

“Then how did you get here?” 

“Some guy overheard me talking to airport staff trying to see if there was any way to get here, and said that he’d just hired the last car available and was heading this way so could give me a ride most of the way. Then I got a bus, then a cab, then I walked.”

Ronan took a second to let that sink in. “You accepted a ride from a stranger?”

Adam shrugged. “Yeah. I was desperate.”

“...Why?”

Adam shrugged again, and looked down at his coffee. “You just sounded so sad, I couldn’t bear it.”

Ronan decided to bypass the ridiculousness and rashness of Adam’s actions and head straight to the love and relief. He put his drink down, took Adam’s from him and put that down too, then bundled Adam into his arms. “I love you. Thank you. Please don’t do that again.”

Adam buried his face in Ronan’s neck. “No promises,” he said. He lifted his head and kissed Ronan lightly on the mouth. “Merry Christmas?”

Ronan grinned. “It is now.”

-

A little after midday, Declan and Matthew arrived at the Barns, arms laden with food and gifts.

“What are you guys doing here?” Ronan asked.

Declan stared stonily at Ronan, then at Adam, who smiled and waved.

“We’re here because someone,” he said, nodding his head in a delighted Matthew’s direction, “thought you’d be sad and lonely because Adam wasn’t here. But I see you’ve had a Christmas miracle.”

Because he was feeling charitable, Ronan got up and gave his surprised brother a hug. “I hope you brought turkey. I’m fucking starving.”

Outside, the snow continued to fall.

[jurassicsickfics]

"Call if You Need Me"

Mentions of vomiting and PTSD

*Based Around The Time of Halloween 2018*

It was one of those nasty, foggy and wet mornings. Laurie Strode was just starting to wake up as the morning sunlight filtered in through her curtains, disturbing her less than peaceful slumber. She'd been up half the night, plagued by nightmare after nightmare, a panic attack, nonstop shaking, and a partridge in a pear tree...

She was absolutely exhausted by the time morning rolled around, and as if the situation couldn't get any worse, her stomach felt...off. Although annoying, this was no surprise. After a night of crippling anxiety, a little queasiness was to be expected. Laurie dragged herself downstairs where Allyson was already awake and getting ready for school.

"Morning Grandma." The teenager said, her voice cheerful. Laurie managed a smile. "Morning hun..." she said, pouring herself some coffee before taking one sip and immediately deciding that she was too queasy for that, and putting the mug down. "You feeling ok?" Allyson asked. Laurie faked a reassuring smile. "Yeah, baby, I'm fine. Just...didn't sleep well, that's all."

Allyson gave the older woman a sympathetic look and hugged her. "Well...I've gotta get to school. I wanna have a few minutes to study before my first period test. Call if you need me!"

And with that, she disappeared out the front door. Laurie smiled; she admired how caring her granddaughter was. She made her way to the pantry to try and find something that she thought she could stomach eating.

A few bites of plain toast later, she pushed the plate away and wrapped her arms around her middle, cursing under her breath. Picking up her phone, she checked the weather. It was warm out today, so, Laurie decided that maybe some fresh air and shooting practice may do her some good.

Now changed into a t-shirt and leggings, Laurie stood in the woods, blasting away at her plastic targets. The hope that the fresh air would settle her stomach was quickly dying. After emptying her shotgun into the mannequins, Laurie placed a hand on her cramping stomach and sat down on a stump. Her muscular arms wrapped around her stomach, she glanced to her cellphone on the log beside her, and Allyson's offer flashed through her mind.

"Call me if you need me!"

Laurie reached for her phone, but stopped herself.

"No...don't bother Allyson. She's at school. " she scolded herself. "Besides, she probably just said that to be nice. I'm not gonna call my granddaughter at school because I have a tummy ache." Laurie mumbled aloud with a pained chuckle.

Laurie rocked herself in her seated position as the cramping worsened. The final girl clutched her stomach, a pained grimace etched into her aging features. Her stomach rolled and gurgled as she came closer and closer to tears. These cramps reminded her of her teenage years, struggling with painful periods. It'd been years since she had that distinct, "I want my mommy" type of feeling. She was so tempted to call Allyson for help, but something in her mind still made her hesitate.

"Maybe I should call Karen..." she thought, then laughed. "Oh, heck no...I'd never hear the end of that. No way."

Laurie was just about to stand up to go back to the house, when her stomach lurched. Without any time to think, she doubled over and was emptying her stomach violently onto the forest floor. She yelled in pain as her chest muscles contracted with the force of her heaving. The poor woman could barely get a breath in between retches, but in the midst of the panic, she managed to grab her phone. Tossing her pride aside, she slammed Allyson's contact.

Allyson was in the middle of listening, or at least trying to listen, to a droning lecture about the history of medicine. Her phone rang in her pocket, and when she saw that it was Laurie, she quickly apologized to her teacher and left the room to take the call. She stepped into the empty hallway and answered the call. "Hey grandma. Everything ok?" Allyson asked. The girl's eyes widened when she heard her grandmother's tearful voice beg, "please...please come home...I'm really sick..."

"I...ok, I'll be there in just a few minutes, just sit tight. " Allyson said, before hanging up. She went back into the classroom and explained the situation to her teacher, and, thankfully, the teacher was understanding and gave her permission to sign out.

Allyson rushed home as quickly as she could, and when she didn't immediately find Laurie in the house, she assumed she was in the woods. Sprinting out the back door, Allyson called out to her grandmother. When she reached her, Laurie was sitting on a log, doubled over, clutching her belly and sobbing, a pool of vomit at her feet. Allyson crouched beside her. "Oh no...not feeling good,huh?" She cood, wiping the older woman's tears. Laurie shook her head and took in a sharp breath. "I-I'm so sorry...to call you at school...you..probably missed that test..." she sobbed. Allyson shook her head. "No no, it's ok. I already took it. Made an A." Laurie gave a tearful smile. "That's my girl. " she said, going to give Allyson a kiss on the forehead then stopping herself. "Um..yeah, you probably don't want me kissing you right now."

Allyson chuckled, "believe it or not, I don't mind. C'mon, let's get you back up to the house. "

The two women made their way back to the house, Laurie leaning heavily on Allyson. Once inside, Laurie collapsed onto the couch, and her granddaughter plopped down beside her. As Laurie cuddled up to the teenager's side, Allyson wrapped an arm around her and asked, "so...you wanna tell me exactly what malfunctioned?"

Laurie let out a tearful, yet heartfelt laugh at her granddaughter's attempt to lighten the mood. "Well...I don't know, I just...I had an awful time last night and I woke up feeling sick. I figured it was just anxiety...I mean it still may be, but...anyway, it just kept getting worse. I couldn't eat, couldn't drink coffee; and you know me, Allyson, I love my coffee."

Allyson smiled. "Yep, you sure do. Although I don't know how you call it coffee with all the cream and flavoring you put in it."

Laurie gave the girl a teasing bump on the shoulder. "Anyway, I thought maybe some fresh air would help, so I went shooting. But, then..well."

Allyson sighed. "Well...sounds like a stomach bug to me." She suggested, and Laurie shrugged.

"Allyson...can I just...vent for a moment?"

"Of course. "

Laurie took a deep breath. "I don't know what to do about the trauma anymore...the medications don't work anymore, I try meditation, ASMR, white noise...nothing helps..."

"I'm so sorry..." Allyson said, stroking Laurie's silver/blonde hair.

Laurie started to cry again. "It...it's getting so bad...it's making me sick...I-I can't take it anym..." she stopped, clamping a hand over her mouth as Allyson sprang up to grab a trashcan. The teenager thrust the container under her grandmother's face just in time, as she reached around with her free hand to hold her hair back. Laurie leaned back once she was finished, panting and wiping her mouth with the back of her wrist. "Jeez...this is horrible..." she moaned.

Allyson gave the contents of the trashcan a disgusted glance before setting it to the side and sitting back down. "Feeling any better?" She asked, and Laurie nodded. "A little, yeah."

The two women sat in silence for several minutes, before Laurie spoke up. "Sorry again for pulling you out of school. "

Allyson gave her a reassuring smile. "Oh, don't worry about it. You got me out of algebra, I owe you a thanks."

Laurie chuckled. "Your mother is gonna freak." She said. Allyson shrugged. "She'll get over it."

[concealeddarkness13]

WHG 20 Day 2 - Ares

This is my last one for today! Tagging: @ratracechronicler (thanks for Atwater!), @maple-writes, @pen-of-roses, @drabbleitout, @grailfish, @forthesanityofsome, and @pied-piper-of-hamlet!

I went out to look for more tributes, but they were hard to find, and, well, I should have brought someone else, because at sunset, Primary decided to start the fucking visions again.

It was all the same shit, with me killing my friends. It was almost familiar enough to be more annoying than traumatic. I tried to find a safe-ish place to rest, stumbling through the forest.

And I heard some rustling, so I tensed and looked around even if I couldn’t see. “Hello? Who’s there?” Just because the person could be a tribute that Triel recruited, I couldn’t use my magic right away.

“Just a racoon.” I couldn’t place the voice.

I looked over towards them, but of course, I couldn’t see anything besides me killing the people I cared about. I summoned my black flames to my hand. “Don’t come any closer! Who are you?”

“Alright. Can you see, kid?”

They didn’t sound threatening. I shook my head. “Not…not at the moment. But I can still fight.” I jutted my chin out.

“That is a theory I don’t want to test. Just stand still. There’s no one else around. Nobody’s attacking.”

I relaxed a little but didn’t get rid of my flames. “Who are you?”

“The guy from 4, the one who can’t walk straight. Hugo Atwater. What’s your name?”

I blinked. I recognized his name. “Triel said she recruited you. I was supposed to keep my eyes out for you. Didn’t think this would happen so soon.” I waved my hand over my eyes. “I’m…Ares. District 1.”

“Ah…we have a mutual friend.” Something thumped. “I’m guessing you looked a little too closely at that sunset, Ares?”

Triel had mentioned something like that, but no, this was Primary. I shook my head. “No, unfortunately, this is something different. I kind of have the soul of a god who wants to use me as a vessel trying to convince me to destroy my soul by showing me killing all my friends over and over until they get tired.” I shrugged.

“…Well, that does put a bit of a damper on your evening plans, I imagine. Have you tried blasphemy? I’m sure you get that a lot actually, but gods do tend to hate that sort of thing, I’ve heard.”

“I’ve already called them a crusty shit, and that didn’t make them leave. It’s fine. Once they get tired, I can bring you to Triel!”

“Oh, you can do better than that, kid. Ahoy, crusty shit. My mum’s god’s got ten arms and a tiger. You’re out here bothering a teenager with war flashbacks like some two-dimensional cartoon ghost. I’ve met mollusks with more backbone. I don’t believe you. Ares, there’s a nice flattish log coming up to your knees a few paces two o’ clock. Take a load off, kid, and let the little sleep paralysis demon tucker themself out.”

Who is this mortal? I like him. He’s amusing, too amusing to not listen to him this one time.

The visions blurred, and as I sat down on the log he had mentioned, they went away. I blinked and looked around. I was in a forest, and it was indeed Atwater standing near me. I stared at him. “That worked. They said you were too amusing to not back off for now.”

“Well, at least I’m good for something.” His eyebrows went up a little. “Wait, can you see again?”

I nodded. “Well enough. Don’t know how long they’ll let me though.”

“This is a…habitual thing for you two, then?”

I nodded again. “Ever since the interview. I’m used to it by now.” I shrugged. But this didn’t matter. I could see again! “But now that I’m not blinded, I can fly you to Triel’s camp!”

He didn’t look convinced about what I had first said, and he looked even more concerned after I was said I could fly him to camp. “You can fly.”

I nodded, standing up. “I can change into a phoenix. You wanna see?”

“Hell, yeah.”

I…I could make him proud. I wanted to make him proud. Like…like my dad. I transformed into the phoenix and squawked at him, tilting my head to try to ask if it was ok if I could pick him up.

“Yeah, that checks out.” He grinned, and I couldn’t help the warmth in my chest. I made him proud! He even gave me a thumbs up! “Badass, kid. Oh—we’re gonna do the flying thing now? I mean, you can try, but don’t strain yourself.”

I could easily carry a person, so there were no worries there! I squawked again and ruffled my feathers in happiness before I flapped my wings and flew up to get some momentum before grabbing his shoulders to fly him towards the camp. He held tightly to my claws as I flew him, also holding onto his spear.

He looked stressed, and honestly, I was getting really fucking tired, so I set him down close to the camp but not quite there. The mutts were coming soon, but my magic should keep us safe.

I glanced over at Atwater once I transformed back. “We can walk the rest of the way, if you’d like.”

“That would be ideal,” Atwater wheezed, but before we could get walking, the howls of the cat-dog mutts echoed through the night, and I tensed and readied to protect Atwater from them, but a fireball scared them off, and Chess hobbled into sight, holding tightly to a small mutt who was snuggling up to her. She was cooing at the mutt. What the fuck?

Atwater collapsed quietly as I stared at her, collapsing as well, since I had gotten tired. Chess looked up and smiled. “Ares! You’re okay! We’ve been worried! And Atwater!” She hobbled over, the mutt crawling up to her shoulders and lying down with a yawn. “You’re safe! I’m so glad!”

“Uh. Right.” Atwater sat up and looked over at me. “Are you alright?”

I nodded, standing up and tilting my head at the mutt. He had a calico color, with a dog’s face, but one cat ear and one dog ear. And his feet and the end of his tail looking like a ghostly smoke. “I’m fine. More mentally tired than anything.”

“Well. Splendid.” He sighed and lay back down, waggling his fingers at Chess, glancing at her in askance.

Chess sat down next to us, so I collapsed again. “I thought I had seen a runt mutt with the others, and they had been mean to him, but look at him! He’s so sweet!” She held him out to Atwater.

Atwater nodded, handing him a stick. He leaned over towards me. “Not to pry, miss, but you seem to be experiencing more gravitational issues than someone in full health ought to. Is that half-rate shitstain in your head bothering you again?”

I looked up at him, not wanting to admit anything. “I’m not tired.”

He looked over at Chess. “Did she or did she not very recently mention being tired?”

Chess tilted her head. “Technically she mentioned being mentally tired. Not sure if that’s the same thing.”

I grinned. “See? I’m fine!” Not moving.

“It is the same word, you infants,” he tutted. “You can’t ‘yes, and’ each other out of a breakdown, physically or mentally. For fuck’s sake. Since you’ve elected to lie there in perfect health, then, at least quit trying to transform into a nautilus now and stretch your legs out. You’ll get bad circulation curled up like that, and your spine will stab you in the back in 20 years if you make it a habit. And drink something.” He fished out a flask, shaking his head.

Chess laughed, and I sighed and took the flask. “Yes, dad.” Fuck. The words had slipped from my lips before I could stop them. My cheeks heated up from embarrassment and takes the drink. It was just water, unfortunately.

“Belay the sass, or you’re grounded, young lady.” At least he hadn’t made a big deal about it. I just handed back the flask, still embarrassed.

Chess sat up more. “I can lead you two back to the camp! It’s not far!”

Atwater pocketed the flask and pulled himself up with the spear. “Great. On further examination, my legs are not, in fact, gelatin, so I’m good to go. Lead the way, Chess. Ares, I expect you can run circles around me, given how very fine you are, but try not to rush too far ahead for the sake of my fragile pride and all." He offered me a hand, and I took it to help me get up to walk.

Chess stood up and put the mutt on her shoulders and cheerily started leading the way. And to be sassy, I transformed into the phoenix and flew up and landed on Atwater’s shoulders so I didn’t have to walk, since I was actually tired. Atwater just whistled, acting like he didn’t notice.

[the-blorb-system]

CHOKE ON YOUR BLOOD AND YOUR TEARSSSSS ~ 🎶

- O. M. G. .....another frontsealed host? Finally??? I'm not alone in the pain?? {<- is in disbelief}

You should totally add us guys on there, we don't log shit either but we at least want to work on profiles so we have basic info like age and roles it's much more than that /lh

- SAME SAME SAME SAME SAME SAME SAME SAME....... Ok now for the 1 million dollar quiz question- favorite saga, favorite song (from said saga or overall)

- huh, I didn't drink shit today either and I can't remember if I ate anything.. maybe noodles?

- Digi

YOOO FOR REAL??? I thought I was the only one 😭

It's why we identify the system as Partial-DID. It's a diagnosis in the ICD-11, so I promise we did not make that up! Its basic definition is that one predominant identity never (or very rarely) leaves front, and other identities "intrude on" and influence the front's overall identity.

So. Forever-front-stuck host with headmates that co-front, which is us!

I just wanna go to the inner world and hug my headmates 😭

We really like and usually prefer Plural Kit for keeping info on everybody, which might just be because we found it first, but it is what it is 🤷‍♀️

I'm unsure if I'm comfortable putting direct info for my Simply Plural account out publicly, but if you're comfy with it you could send an ask with yours and I'll friend you? (You can title the ask as Private or something if you'd like to keep it that way) (Also just a suggestion, we're open to ideas)

And heugh boy so many options, I love all the songs 😭

Might just be because it's the newest, but for right now I think the Wisdom Saga is my favourite 👌

Close behind it is The Circe Saga, then The Cyclops Saga. And, I may as well- in descending order from there is The Underworld Saga, The Troy Saga, The Storm Saga, and The Thunder Saga.

Favourite songs for each Saga because I'm a nerd:

Just a Man, Remember Them, Keep Your Friends Close, Wouldn't You Like/Done For, No Longer You, Scylla, and Little Wolf/God Games, respectively. (Should be in chronological order. Also, yes, I know I cheated by picking two songs for a couple of them XD)

I. am one of the world's most indecisive people, I'm unsure I have a favourite favourite for overall XD Maybe No Longer You?

And lastly I make you deal

Is very good deal, very nice

I get water, you get water

Yeah? Yes? 👀

-Lizzy

[violetlearnschinese]

today is 6/30/2024 i just wanna write up a log of the things that i've tried so far i guess

i feel like my chinese learning journey is kinda interesting bc . i'm more addicted to trying to innovate/revolutionize/optimize how to learn chinese more than actually learning chinese . and sure some of that could be attributed to instant gratification or wtvr, but also i am also rly addicted to trying to solve physics-esque/mathy problems and that's just what my brain is inclined towards doing, like if it recognizes smth as mathy and nonoptimal then it'll compulsively search for a solution lol . usually this activity doesnt actually turn out to be super productive (and a lot of the time it can seem like im just Wildly Overcomplicating things, and there's definitely an argument for that, yes) but i believe it's at least Somewhattt useful + at least i enjoy the rush (sometimes) + maybe one day ill finally get some Good idea and then ill make millions !!! or maybe that is just what i tell myself to cope . Lmao . anyway.

chinese course at brown

hellochinese

made the whole diagram thing (i was so anal abt this (and esp its application to music) and eventually changed opinion to yeah sure it was correct but not a good way to approach learning bc kids arent just magical sponges but instead the reason that they learn quickly is bc 24/7 private tutor (their mother) + fast iteration)

anki spoonfed chinese too hard

may 23 night - may 24 day

call w regan, she inspired me to just go thru my chinese textbook bc she made me think damn maybe i should just try being normal for once

went thru half of chinese textbook

felt like i wasnt rly learning well past lesson 5 (and lessons 1-5 were mostly review anyway)

may 24-25 ish

found lazychinese.com comprehensible input

found other CI people existed

searched through a Lot, couldnt find much at my level, either way too easy for total beginner or too hard nothing to grasp onto or just no variety of sentence structures

may 25 night

salena sent me the gay guy i could sorta understand him, like i could latch on to smth

coded the thing

went over the video w transcript for a day or two

may 26 day

saw the baby in pool

may 26 night

watched n followed funny easy chinese ig/tiktok accts

may 26/27

tried peppa pig / cartoons / stories on yt / etc, still too hard

may27

up until now, really mostly input little output

peppa pig longest sentence

turned on chinese keyboard

chatgpt convo

texting w friends

wow im not bad

hearing is impt, then pure imitating, then say it while pinyin, then understand

u will not see gains intra-day 1 bc gains r slow obv u need multiple days etc wtvr 2 bc gains happen during Sleep (ie After the learning session, Not During)(analogy to gym, u dont get stronger inside of one session, ur muscle builds up After the session is done)(i notice improvement after one or two days)

do many short sessions, but also include some long sessions

imitating a sentence/paragraph whole-part-whole . listen to the whole thing, then split into parts, then put the parts together . like learning a piano piece . (also this is fractal - if too big, split up)

around this time i tried brute forcing comprehensible input via lazychinese.com, but found it too slow/unoptimal/wtvr

flirting w krashen's hypothesis and i see so many success stories abt krashen (e.g. https://www.reddit.com/r/languagelearning/comments/wetbjo/i_learned_english_through_magic_and_input_krashen/)

this was interesting too, i forgot what i got out of it but it was interesting (https://www.reddit.com/r/languagelearning/comments/r9g1s3/i_immersed_in_spanish_for_900_hours_without_any/)

eventually i disagree w krashen and think he's stupid bc my brother cant speak tagalog

opinion abt tutors

also found out that it lines up with more modern language acquisition theories and critiques of krashen: swain's comprehensible output + dekeyser’s skill building

hypothesis abt memorizing stories might be better than flashcards

like a memory palace but it's stories not palaces

du chinese analysis failed (unique word density starts at 12% then goes to 6%)

i think about here i stopped being so anal about the whole ... diagram that was rooted in kids being sponges

i dont hate language classes as much

trying to brute force grammar

current hypothesis/method:

trying to brute force grammar

same hypothesis abt memorizing stories to learn vocab, but now using AI generated stories (unique word density starts at 32% then goes to 20%. much better!)

build a huge foundation (learn lots of textbook grammar and vocab) (get lots of clay), then iron it out (practice listening/speaking/reading/writing/wtvr to acquire more natural idiomatic expressions and also just increase your speed/skill etc etc) (roll the clay)

[storiesfromhalcyontale]

Chapter 3: A crocodile's Lament

Chat logs: 4:50am Unit A: How did we let the specimen escape? Unit C I thought you checked for all the possibilities. Unit C: I checked everything. Unit A: All the precautions made could’ve only been dismantled by one of us. Unit C: So you're saying one of us helped them escape? Unit D: Will you two stop bickering?! If anyone finds out what we've been doing we’ll surely be shut down. Unit B: Yes. But what about the school? They need to be alerted. Unit A: Already took care of it. The headmaster shut down the school on monday but since then students have returned. Unit C: Unit A don’t you realise what we are doing is morally wrong? Unit A: What are you getting at Unit C? Unit C: We’ve kidnapped two intelligent beings from their realm, doesn’t that at least raise any moral questionability? Unit D: You also signed on to do this project. If we’re talking about it like that, then you're just as morally questionable as the rest of us.  Unit A: Just continue the investigation, if anyone finds them we are as good as dead.

____________________________________________________

I woke up frozen, I didn’t like cold nights I thought to myself. I turned and grabbed my phone from my shelf to check the time, 4:50am… this was the earliest I’ve been up in awhile.. I opened instagram and clicked on Asriel’s account, in his most recent post. He was at the park with Akemi, I believe it was taken on Monday. I liked the photo and continued scrolling through different posts. I wasn’t active on Instagram too much, I mainly used it to look at my friend’s posts and make sarcastic comments every once in a while.

My stomach began to rumble, I sat up. I’ll grab a packet of crisps I thought, leaping out of my bed and slowly tiptoeing downstairs. Every time the floorboards creaked I stopped moving for around two seconds then continued.

I was soon at the kitchen where I quickly grabbed a packet of crisps and snuck back up to my room and sat at my desk. I opened up my laptop and searched up some videos to watch while I was eating, all I really did was sat there until 7am where my phone pinged.

7am Asriel: Are we not going to talk about yesterday? Sho: I mean we exactly can’t. People will most likely be looking for them and I’m not in the mood to get interrogated today. Asriel: Fair dues, anyways do you wanna meet up? Sho: I’m not too sure, I have a lot of thinking to do. Asriel: Oh alright then. I’ll meet you at school then.

I got ready for school and soon found myself on the sofa playing on my nintendo switch. It was more out of boredom since I set off normally at 7:30am. I looked behind me and saw Laval there watching me.

“What’s that weird device?” He asked, keeping his eyes glued to my switch.

“Oh this?” I answered looking at him “It’s a nintendo Switch. It can play video games”

“Like speedor racing?” Excitingly asked Laval, still looking at the screen.

“I dunno what that is but I have Mario Kart 8 Deluxe which I can show you after school.” I looked back as I said this.

“It’s a deal!” Laval exclaimed, making me jump at how loud he was. I checked the time, 7:25.. I returned my Nintendo switch back to my room and grabbed my bag.

“I’m heading to school!” I shouted, waiting for Gaster to say something.

“Alright, be careful Shoto.” Gaster shouted back, I rolled my eyes. He forgot again. I left the door and began to walk to school. Many thoughts ran through my head like it was the olympics or something, should I ask Cragger that question? It’s too personal.. Soon I found myself at my school with the headmaster standing at the front ushering kids in. I found my form room and sat in my seat, I also proceeded to take my rubix cube out of my bag and began fiddling with it.

“Sho! You're feeling better I see?” I turned and saw Mr Heggarty standing behind me.

“Yeah.” I answered with a smile, “It was only a little bug.”

“Well good to see you today!” Exclaimed Mr Heggarty with his cheesy smile. I sat there thinking…

“Mr Heggarty..” I said almost on autopilot.

“Yeah?” He responded.

“What do I do if I need to ask my friend something that I’ve been suspecting for awhile but I don’t know how to approach them about it?”

“Ah the question for the ages!” He knelt down to my level “Well… I’d try to ask it in a way that makes it sound like you're a concerned friend.”

“Alright thank you” I answered looking down. He walked away as more students entered the room. I soon saw Asriel and Akemi enter the room talking to each other.

“Sho!” Akemi yelped “Are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah… I’m fine” I said as I looked at him. Soon the bell rang and the entire class quietened down, I put my rubix cube back into my bag and listened intently. More notes about behaviour in lessons.. And something about an art competition… I don’t usually listen to this kind of stuff in form. Soon Mr Heggarty let us get back to chatting and I turned to Asriel and Akemi.

“Did anything interesting happen while I was gone?” I asked, looking at them.

“Not really..” responded Asriel downward, he was lying cause something did happen… he was protecting Laval and Cragger.

I laid my head on the desk and sighed “Why does nothing happen here?” The bell rang for Period one and I left the room with everyone. However my thoughts kept on running around but faster. English I thought to myself. Heading to the English block I was greeted by my English teacher, Miss Wayward. She was sixty and had grey hair, she was shorter than me and wore a black blouse with skinny jeans.

“Have you done your homework, Shoto?” She asked staring daggers at me, I don’t get why she never liked me. It's been like that since I started at this school. She also hasn’t respected my name change since we’ve got back from the winter break

“Yes I have Miss.” I uttered, looking back at her, “And also my name is Sho.”

“Has it been changed Legally yet?”

“Yes it has actually.” I pridefully grinned, Laval’s rubbing off on me .

“Whatever. Just sit down Shoto.”

“It’s Sho.” I angrily responded. My name was changed on my birthday as a surprise from Sans and Grillby. It was also the same day they adopted me. I always asked everyone to refer to me as Sho as I always much preferred it over Shoto. I sat down and looked around the room. I was the last one here.. I started doing the task on the board but I could not stop thinking about what Mr Heggarty said.. “I’d try to ask it in a way that makes it sound like you're a concerned friend.” It was wise advice but I’m not sure if it would work…I’ve only known Cragger for what two days..? Laval for one after he woke up.. I don’t feel like I have the right to ask this, but then again… Cragger isn’t exactly hiding it well…As for Laval I’m unsure, he seemed comfortable with stuff like snuggling but it looked like more of an accident than purposely… I looked at the board and continued with my English work. I'll ask Cragger first then try and get more information from Laval during our Mario Kart session… I want to help them. 

Soon the lesson ended and I gathered my things and left for period two. I had a plan in my mind but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go through with it at all! The pros and cons were there in plain sight, but...I wasn’t too sure..

“Yo!” I heard a voice behind me, it was Monster kid (or MK for short) . He was a yellow dinosaur with no arms, he wore a yellowish hoodie and always wore a smile on his face “Sho wait up!”. He was running up towards me.

“Slow down then. We don’t want another trip to the nurse’s office now do we?” I laughed.

“Oh I guess you're right.”Responded MK as we continued walking “How have you been?”

“Stressed to be honest with you” I turned to MK as we got to the science block. “These last two days have been stressful, I can tell you that.”

“Why?” MK asked as I opened the door for him.

“That’s something I cannot disclose. Sorry MK.” I said this as I shut the door behind me and took my seat “It’s something serious.”

“Ah, I see.” He took his seat “Could you help me with some of this maths today? It looks like we’re going through Pythagoras.”

“Sure MK.” I took my laptop from my bag and began taking notes. Maths wasn’t too hard for me since I understood it rather easily, though I had to help MK with some equations here and there but it wasn’t too much of a deal. However my mind kept on going back to those thoughts I was having during period one. Do I go through with it? I wasn’t sure, this was causing my head to race in all different directions as my thoughts were getting tangled.

“Sho you good?” MK asked with concern in his face, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Huh?” I looked at MK, he had a face of genuine worry. “I’m fine. Let’s get these notes done for today.”

“Sho you don’t look alright. I can ask Miss to help me today instead of you.”

“I’m fine MK. Really I am. Just thinking that’s all..” 

Later that day I was walking home with Asriel and Akemi. The thought hadn’t really left my mind in all fairness, it was floating about up there all day. I waved goodbye to them both and made my way towards the house. However during this I bumped into the same man in the white coat yet again. “Excuse me-” He cut me off.

“Sorry kiddo! Important investigation underway, I’ll let you through but you have to me more weary next time.” He quickly said, ushering me through the same area I saw him from yesterday. I continued walking, just giving him the side eye as I walked off. Once I had gotten home I opened the door. No need to check under the plant pot I thought there are people in the house after all. I looked around and saw Cragger sitting on the sofa drinking hot chocolate. Gaster probably made it for him, however he wasn't in so he must have just gone out.

“Hey Cragger, where’s Laval?” I asked, looking around.

“He’s getting ready for this…Mario Kart thing?” He answered, still drinking the mug of hot chocolate.

“Oh really?” I said looking at the spare room.

“Yeah, that furboy loves a good speedor race.” I looked at Cragger, Speedor racing? Must be their realm's equivalent to motorbike racing or something.

“Oh does he really?” I remarked.

“Yeah, so do I.” I saw him blush but he made sure to cover it with his tail. I don’t think he picked up on the remark.. Alright here’s my moment.. Let’s hope I don’t get…well murdered.

“Cragger, I have a question.” I said looking forward.

“Another one? Jeez you love your questions kid don’t cha?”

“Yeah well… this is a serious one..” I took a deep breath… “Do you love Laval?” I said this so quickly it took him a couple of seconds to realise what I had just said.

“What? Love Laval I um…” It took him a couple of seconds to think..

“I-I’m sorry if I’ve said anything wrong but I’ve noticed how…affectionate you are towards him more than a normal friend should and-” He stopped me in the middle of my sentence.

“No it’s fine…Well yes I do love him…But I don’t know why.. I just thought about it one day and…” He looked at me “Please don’t tell Laval…He’ll obviously reject me so I’d rather keep this underwraps…” I looked at Cragger.. He’s ignoring his own feelings just to keep the friendship alive… poor poor guy..

“Your secret is safe with me… I promise..” I mumbled… “I’m sorry…”

“No Sho it’s completely fine.” He said quietly, he turned to me once more “I just didn’t know what to do I guess..” We both laughed a tiny bit…

“Cragger is Sho back?!” Laval shouted, almost seeming excited.

“Yeah he’s back.” Cragger shouted back standing up in the process. Laval exited the spare bedroom wearing one of my Tank Tops and joggers, he also had his mane tied up in a pony tail. I looked at Cragger who was blushing even more than before. “So what do ya think?”

“You look amazing!” Cragger yelled before rushing to the spare bedroom.

I looked at Laval in awe, “Well firstly your mane in a ponytail is brilliant literally fits you like a glove! Also…have you been rummaging through my clothes?”

“Well yeah?” He said, confused, “I wanted to be fully prepared for tonight so I got into more appropriate clothing. Plus I think I prefer the tank top over the hoodie.” Well at least he was honest .

“You could’ve just waited for me to get back.” I told him.

“Oh. Yeah that makes more sense” We both laughed, Laval sat in Cragger’s previously occupied seat “So! Mario Kart…what is it?” I began to explain the intricacies of Mario Kart as I began rigging up my Nintendo Switch to the downstairs TV. And soon we were off to the races! Laval actually struggled to begin with, he was getting used to the controls but eventually…he beat me?

“Haha!” He roared with laughter “I finally won one!”

“Still 5-1 though-” I said “Still though, that’s the fastest I’ve seen anyone improve at this game.”

“Is it?!” He looked at me shocked. “Well all I had to do was imagine it was similar to a speedor then it was as simple as riding one!”

“Hmmm I see I see…” I mumbled putting down my controller “Well I do have a question for you.”

“Ask away Sho I’m all ears!” Laval exclaimed.

“Well I already asked this to Cragger but I wanna hear this from you.. how long have you known him?”

“Oh that Mud lover?” He turned to look at me, Wait was that a pet name? I thought to myself, that doesn’t complicate things at all! “Well I’ve known him since I was a cub honestly, he’s just really amazing to hangout with! We both have similar interests and I honestly cannot fathom enough how much I adore him!” I looked at Laval’s face, he had a slight blush oh no I thought He’s oblivious to Cragger’s feelings!...and his own I think… I looked at the time… It’s still early. Only 4:30pm.. I turned to Laval with a mischievous look.

“Well Laval wanna go for a couple more rounds?” I asked picking my controller back up.

“Oh you're on!” Laval excitedly responded, we played until it got super late and… Laval beat me which shocked me. He only just started playing today. I left for my room and went straight to bed since tiredness always gets the better of me in the end…

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Okay so, this chapter means alot to me for the reason that it was the most recent chapter when me and one of my best friends started talking and became buddies now with that being said I absolutely love this chapter as I feel it just does alot right in my opinion