#at least his friend called him out
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Arrogant people assume I want them to find me attractive.
"You'd be a lot hotter if you acted softer. Less intimidating-"
Nobody here fucking asked and the only person I wanna be hot for is my spouse. You ain't him so your opinion on how to "improve" my appearance don't matter.
#personal#its always the conservative males giving unwanted opinions on looks like dude nobody here is advertising for your attention#they be whiny af too. that's unattractive and i ain't touching that#they see me as trad wife type (i was actually raised to be one. pretty and with a clean house and a full course meal ready) but i HATE#right wing bi tch males cos sincerely yall cry over the stupidest cr ap that ain't even your damn business#that makes you look like pu ssies just letting you know#ramblings#rant#can't wait to resize my wedding ring cos im tired of this bs#i remember a guy lamenting of yt about me being a bruja “how could you hate god when he blessed you with beauty?💔”#i swear some of these dudes make pity them or wanna puke#just don't bother flirting and trying to get info from clearly mean spirited b itchy women#i aint like this all the time but damn i have to pull out the mean side of me sometimes when people be getting on my nerves#at least his friend called him out
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“It kinda feels personal.” | for @catws-anniversary ♡
#happy day 2 of catws anniversary week🤗 catws on 🔝#catws10#steve rogers#steverogersedit#brock rumlow#brockrumlowedit#marveledit#marvelgifs#mcuedit#mcuchallenge#capedit#dailymarvelgifs#mcufam#marveladdicts#marvellegends#rumrogers#shieldbones#gif*#edit*#*#for a few seconds when rumlow calls him 'big guy' steve literally isn't even poised like he's about to fight#his hackles are up but his arms are down at his sides like he honestly thinks rumlow is going to say something to him worth hearing#that breaks my heart because he must have thought rumlow was his friend or at least that they were on the same team#come to find out rumlow is the enemy steve already died fighting once and now he tells him to his face it isn't personal#like?? isn't it??#'it kinda feels personal' is such a badass line especially the way chris delivered it but 💔#tbh i believe that rumlow believes it isn't personal as in they have to get rid of captain america which is ideological not personal#when rollins asked if steve wore a parachute the way rumlow said 'no he wasn't' makes me think he was actually fond of him#but in a 'if only you were hydra' way
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i cracked the code.
#believing dirk is the worst guy because its what dirk thinks of himself#ignoring daves bisexuality and think hes a gay man in denial even when he explained hes bisexual#believing john 'im not a homosexual' egbert is explicitly straight while he makes out with his mcconahey and cameron posters more#than he kissed women(literally only once)#believing that rose is an edgy psyhcotic little bitch when she was neglected. she speaks elegantly to cover that shes silly and a total ner#and how did people forget that rose also writes gay wizard fanfiction. reads Wikipedia. and her beautiful artstyle as a result of neglect#(and by neglect meaning having SO MUCH TIME to draw)#jake wasnt into dirk. he also told di that he didnt like how brobot getting touchy with him during strifes#but as part of the repression 4(prospit kids). he refused on changing the bot settings#what jane said about roxy being better when she was drunk. it was fucking sarcasm. its the least insane shit you could say to a best friend#all the kids have issues and of course people get mad over a girl being sarcastic.#when KARKAT said THE SAME THING to rose when she was drunk on the meteor nobody bats an eye#trolls are just grey humans that are bugs. he doesnt get an excuse for being an alien. humans were made from KARKATS BLOOD#jade isnt all silly girl and is so FULL OF HATE towards the trolls. she called karkat a fuckass (VERY FUNNY) to do her a favor#“jade would rather have punched karkat in the fact then had a pleasent conversation with him.”#“she viewed the trolls as rude mean and cruel. and even thought that nepeta was just making fun of her.#despite it being that nepeta just wanted to roleplay and have fun."#dred.loki#I HAVE YET TO ADD MORE. THESE ARE JUST NOTES#homestuck#chss
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the James Somerton thing really shows how hard people are willing to go to bat for a white cis guy who seems to say all the right things and makes content they like no matter how much everyone else has proof of them being a bad person. That is, until a more popular white cis guy who says all the right things calls them out.
This isn't a criticism of Hbomberguy at all, but of everyone else for refusing to listen to the voices of the people James hurt until Hbomb made it cool. This happens all the time and is still happening and it drives me insane. Y'all need to do better.
#coughquintonreviewscough#everyone's willing to believe victims until a white man they like says not to i guess#even when said white man a) has a history of being very creepy to various female youtubers#and b) is literally contradicting his own stated beliefs#dude literally said “victims should be believed because a woman can stand to loose everything when they call out a man”#but then was like “oh but dont believe this woman shes just a creepy stalker who wants to force herself into my life”#i wont say everything i know since it's not my story to tell but#i want yall to wonder why while quinton's editors came to bat for him#literally none of the people quinton has collabed with did#if theyre his friends or at least like him why didnt they say anything#also it took way too long for game grumps to fall from grace#yknow despite how consistently racist and sexist they were non stop
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a taste
#only friends#only friends the series#ofts#mark pakin#papang phromphiriya#i am obsessed with how good papang is#trust me to read too much into it but to me he clearly has an idea who 30 sth year old Dan is#seemingly out of the dating scene since at least his graduation so doesn't know the current lingo#feeling a bit too old but also unsure how he likes being called old but hot#very charmed by this junior but not used anymore to getting butterflies in a club#lowkey knows that the boss thing might be a bit hmm...#(listen: i love that again the show doesn't give us a clear line of 'dan is a creep' because there is a lot of room for him to essentially#be a good option for nick as well as the possibility of accidentally acting unethical) especially within the community it is worth to#observe whether the power imbalance on its own speaks against the person#he's also a bit shy wondering whether this cute guy would actually be interested in him because he is sweet and obviously aquainted with#going to bars so surely he must have options#and mark is also so wonderful ;A; even before he spots boston you can see that there is still some heartbreak lingering#but also that he liked the kiss but it was a very different feel to boston#also: somehow papang in mlc and papang here kisses absolutely differently and it makes so much sense to me that he at this point in his#life would kiss like this?? idk how to explain it better#this show continues to bring out the best acting out of everyone#(to derail: maybe why i want the writing for top to be that he's still in the grey so badly because i think that is the kind of difficult#acting force is actually mastering in this series)
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"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin
#It gets worse the more i think about it aiguaoughhh#they pretty much retconned the people he was close to before the crisis. he only interacts with dick like once or twice#ive never seen him with barbara#he had no team#in terms of school he had rena(?) and then 3 friends that show up in an annual and never again#and obviously with the whole secret identity it hardly can be a close friendship. esp with how little theyre shown#in terms of super friends he had Danny and Kid Devil. which. one is mentioned off hand and theyre never seen together#and the other is from a short story and never brought up again#alfred has his praises sung but we never really see him connect with jay#all he had was BRUCE. and the only way to ever be with bruce is to be robin#is it really any wonder he chased after his mother? is it any wonder who chose to trust someone he hardly knew?#dc liveblog#jason todd#i feel so bad for him all the time for forever#ive just started reading comics after his death but before his resurrection. the hallucination jason era#and its seems to be shaping up to be with him written as the angry robin who never listened#which i Know is because of the writers. but in universe? it just feels like jason wasnt understood or known at all#doylist vs watsonian moment as they say#dc comics#batman comics#and he became a symbol of failure to batman So Quickly. not a memory but a reminder#and every trophy from his time as robin was taken out of the batcave. and every moment as jason was removed from (at least) bruces room#he was on call/on a list as a backup titan if they needed help but he wasnt With them. they teamed up twice#i cant remember if he meant it towards blood specifically or in general rn but he fully admitted to not being good/experienced enough#they didn't really know him and he didn't really know them#wait fuck was rena all pre-crisis. devastating. he stopped going on patrols n being robin for awhile when she was his gf#of course by then he was already A Hero who cant fully ignore how he can help so he eventually was like yeah we should stop a little#obviously there was that catwoman arc going on and i feel writers just liked keeping him away alot. but ough. he was so quick to stop when#there was someone There. and robin didn't have ti feel like all he had#anyway crisis got rid of her im sure. like harvey. when does 'pre and post crisis' actually start bc its not at the crisis its issues after
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have not gotten over Thanatos saying "You're a god. Learn to act like one"
#Zagreus was only trying to make friends with the maid!!!#hades game#every kind person in this game is incredibly cruel at least once and i am NOT recovered#Zagreus just walks around trying to Polite his way out of Hell & everyone treats him like he's an absolute loser#the only person who ever calls him out on it being a wee bit of bullshit is his father ... i am not recovered#ZAGREUS#CLEAN YOUR ROOM
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in the showing up to the library with an overnight bag part of exam season
#haven’t done any revision for the past two days bc I’ve been too sick but im at least half human today so it’stime to LOCK IN#been here since 5:30pm and my study room isn’t booked until 10pm lol. lmao even#also in the entire four floors of the library i sat down looked up and saw a guy i know sat directly opposite me#we’ve hung out enough that id call him a friend but we’re not close and also I came here alone on PURPOSE to make sure i acc worked#so i was just like oh 😃 hi 😃#and im not flattering myself either i bet he was the exact same 😭 kms of ALL SEATS WHY DID I SIT HEREEEEE#hella goes to uni#will keep u posted on my library lockdown
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3l!grian is frequently depicted as a tragic figure and sometimes i wonder if we even watched the same series
#like yes he is tragic. every character in the series is tragic but i think hes easily the least tragic of the winners#(except maybe cleo. i have my own thoughts about how cleos victory plays into her core themes and why its not as joyous or triumphant as#cleo the players and the fandom at large make it seem that i will have to make a real post about at some point)#grian dies Laughing. he smiles and calls it a dual victory before the final fight. his last words are “its been amazing.”#to me Grians arc is about how he came in with this sense of mirth. had it ripled away by the reality when his joke gets Scar killed.#and then rediscovers it as he learns that the horror of their circumstances doesn't need to keep him from delight#plus also ive never seen a man more delighted to explode three of his friends#ill also bring up that Martyns lore has Grian involved in the games explicitly to COMBAT the angst#that Grians inherent silliness and joy makes the players less hopeless as they meet their endings#and theres obviously parts of martyns lore i can take or leave but this is one area where Eyes and Ears lines up very well with what actions#the characters take and so im happy to bring it up#unlike other parts such as “limlife pearl and cleo retained more trauma between seasons than any player has before”#which i do directly refute as it doesn't seem to line up with the way the characters act and the story plays out#thats for another post though#my point here is 3l grian was having the time of his life and i think there are some fanon interpretationd that disregard that#which theyre free to do im definitely someone who has ignored canon plenty of times in the past (glances at worm)#but i think this is the sort of thing that makes the canon more interesting and compelling#anyway. um. rambled longer than i meant to there#grian#trafficblr#3rd life#3rd life smp#3lsmp
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Update 3: drove the asshole home bc I was so sure he was fr gonna die if he drove himself lmao. Poor dude looked so miserable, like bro was either holding back while we were working or he got worse the second he was able to relax, bc there wasn't a single moment of silence the whole drive back, dude was just curled up in the passenger’s seat shivering and being so fucking symptomatic. Like he was doing that thing where you basically cough all of the air out of your lungs then doing that rattly little inhale and then repeating, like it was Not Good 😬 0/10, hated being there to experience that in person, I was horrified, I want all of that to stay in audio recordings where it can't hurt me lmao. And he wasn’t sneezing a ton, but when he did, he stifled them until I told him to quit it bc the last thing he needs is a fucking ear infection on top of whatever the hell is already wrong with him, and even when he stopped, he was so congested that they sounded kinda stifled anyway 😭 like it's all objectively hot and I would've loved it had I just read it and not experienced it first hand, but unfortunately I'm a massive germaphobe and had to sit three feet away from this guy all damn day. So I bleached the hell out of my car and scrubbed myself down in the shower three times and I still don't feel like anything is clean enough, but I'm tired so it's gonna have to do for now lmao
#this is kinda snz kink ain't it?#whatever idc i feel so gross and I'm tired lmao#i might shower again before i go to bed idk lmao#OH ALSO important to note#he was stifling with his fingers so he was getting that shit all over his hands i was like IN MY CAR????? fucking horrific#again it's objectively hot but not when it's in front of me 😭#i hope y'all are enjoyjng this at least bc I'm not lmao i was trying not to pass away the whole day#like i feel so bad bc i consider my partner a friend so obviously i care about him and wanna help#but at the same time i literally can't train my disgust reaction out of me#I'm fucking weird when it comes to who I'm more okay with being around when they might be sick#like if he wasn't my usual partner or if he was just some random coworker i wouldn't have given him a ride#like i did it scared but i still did it lmao#anyway#i told him to text me tomorrow so i know he's not dead and to call if he needs anything#so we'll see what comes of that#and i will be passing away if he gets me sick so stay tuned for that#knock on wood i haven't been sick since i was 13 and I'm almost 22 now#and last time i was sick i had strep and bronchitis at the same time so that wasn't good#but other than that it's just been allergy flare ups#so other than the vaccine reactions i genuinely don't remember what it's like to actually be sick#so let's hope i just manage to avoid it 😭
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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the thing about chilshi is that i see it as super one-sided on chilchuck's part and that's some shit he's bringing to the grave with him
#random thoughts#dungeon meshi#if (somehow) senshi became aware i think he'd be flattered#in like an 'aw thanks man' way#this goes for marcille too btw but in like reverse#i could see marcille having a fledgling crush on chilchuck after he reveals his age#but before she fully internalizes he's An Adult. like an adult adult#like how she infantilizes falin? like that#and like she's honestly chilchuck's type yknow? being blonde and all#but i don't think he would date someone who views him like that#he might tolerate it from senshi for like 4.5 seconds in his fleeting daydreams#but in reality? noooo thank you#this is why i ship laios and chilchuck tbh. he's the party member who chilchuck thinks knows him the best#and he trusts him the most to lead!!!#also because i think it'd be funny if laios (26) started dating izutsumi's (17) surrogate father figure#also because i really like that comic where chilchuck's children judge him for dating someone so YOUNG. cradlerobber#this is quickly devolving into me providing my Opinion on dungeon meshi ships#might as well get into kabru and laios#i don't see it? it might be because i've only read the manga and im bad at fully comprehending those the first time through#but like. first of all kabru is a VERY minor character in my eyes#he mostly becomes relevant during the latter half which is my least favorite part#and ive seen people tote the 'i want to be your friend!!!' panel as like. fodder for the ship?#and honestly when i read that part i read it as kabru desperately grasping at straws to keep laios from going to marcille#his brain to mouth line fully shut down and he was just spouting gibberish#laios even calls him out on it#i see kabru and shuro as being in the same boat? seeing laios as insufferable but it's not his fault#marcille and falin are in lesbians with each other. gay as hell to revive someone with forbidden magicks#they are LESS gay than i was expecting though. which is a hell of a thing to say about two women who bathe together
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So, it's been a million years since I've done any real writing, but I was toying around with potential descriptions for one of my dnd campaigns, and I'm really proud of how it turned out:
tw for graphic description of an injury
Every inch of [Rook's] back and shoulders is raw, covered in dozens, maybe hundreds, of small cuts. They overlap and merge so that his entire back is one giant wound. But you can't even get a good look at the cuts, because they are covered by a thick layer of dried blood, almost black in some places.
This will be part of the description the party gets upon seeing Rook for the first time after he was kidnapped by Captain Wolf, and dear god I can't wait to see their reactions both in and out of character. :)))
#the DM's response to me sending him this was ''that's disgusting I love it'' in all caps and that might be one of the best compliments ever.#if anyone's curious what happened to Rook uhhh... he got keelhauled.#the rest of him is beat to shit too but his back is a fucking MESS.#and it got just left like that for DAYS. untreated.#needless to say he's not having a very good time when they find him.#and that's before we even get into the blood barnacles!!!#morrigan.text#my writing#oc: Rook#dnd#my best friend once called me ''a sadist for fictional characters'' and when I write things like this and get hyped up about it#I can't exactly disagree lmao.#injury tw#blood tw#godddd I can't wait for him to get kidnapped.#I've been waiting for it for MONTHS now and we're still probably at least 6 weeks out from it and I'm losing my mind waiting.#sorry I don't have any ''real'' (ie from my wips) writing for you but I've been so burnt out the only thing I've had a passion for is dnd.
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Not to make “tag vent sunday” a thing but Idk how I can go from having a great string of days where I feel happy and confident to just. Randomly fucking dropping. And feeling like the actual worst.
#okay so here’s the thing#QB and I have been doing lil activities online lately#which helps him with his stuff he has going on and helps me to not feel fucking lonely all the time#bc i had another hangout friend but I Very Much Screwed That Up Tee-Bee-Aych#so I’ve been late to most hangouts. i constantly have little issues pop up where I’m so sure I’ll piss him off#friday night like an hour into the hangout I went ‘idk how to say this but like i recgonize I’m being quiet and if you want me to talk more#please lemme know’ and he told me that he was having some worries attached to that so we talked things out and it was fine#ITS ALWAYS FINE#AND SOMETIMES THAT IS WHAT PUTS ME ON EDGE OR MAKES ME START FUCKING CRYING (off call) WHICH IS EMBARRASSING TO ADMIT BUT LIKE#LOOK I LOVE THAT HE’S PATIENT AND UNDERSTANDING. ONLY OTHER PERSON I KNOW WHO HAS THAT LEVEL OF CHILL IS MY ACTUAL PARTNER#BUT I’M SO FUCKING SURE THAT I WILL SCREW IT UP TERRIBLY. LIKE DISASTROUSLY.#SO LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO? BECAUSE PART OF MY BRAIN IS TELLING ME TO JUST GHOST EVERYONE AND RUN AWAY#SO THAT I CAN AT LEAST CONTROL THE OUTCOME BUT LIKE#I REALLY WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH QB AND WB AND BB AND I’M STRUGGLING SO HARD WITH THIS#like lowkey the thought of screwing up in the same way I always have is literally painful and my chest is killing me I just—#god I fucking hate this shit#can I get the stardew heart ranking system please?? so I know exactly where I stand all the time???#I don’t necessarily trust people to tell me what I’m doing wrong until it’s too late
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it hit me some of my newer followers probably dont know about the petscop "logbook!" (i dont remember why i called it that)
since august of 2023, ive been taking detailed notes on petscop. not continuously since sometimes ill take a couple weeks off while i soak things in, but ive so far taken notes up to like 2/3 of the way thru petscop 11. its been quite the undertaking. every single time i rewatch it, i find more i didnt notice the last time, or stuff that didnt make sense without some context in another video later on down the line.
ive had to add addendums over pages and the whole thing is full of sticky notes. my friend called it my mad scientist notebook bc it rly does just look crazy lol. i started it mostly for another friend since we were originally analyzing it together, so theres a lot of spelling errors.
the sticky notes are usually from where i thought of smth when i didnt have the notebook on me, i actually have a shit ton of stuff i wrote on receipt paper bc id still be thinking abt it at work. some stuff here isnt too accurate anymore, but going back to correct things why this has been taking me so long. 🥲
im in so deep that ive had to get another notebook, ive read scientific papers for this and everything. from psychology to the spatial uncanny valley paper to PHYSICS. ROTATIONAL PHYSICS. i am physically incapable of being normal about petscop
#eyes#petscop#petscop analysis#can you tell i got sick of writing out nightmare masterclass every single time i wanted to reference his videos#didnt wanna just call him david like im on a first name basis with the guy or something 😭#these were also mostly for another friend to look at but i might just scan and post the whole thing#like edited down to the important stuff at least
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