#at least his friend called him out

[bitchy-peachy]

Arrogant people assume I want them to find me attractive.

"You'd be a lot hotter if you acted softer. Less intimidating-"

Nobody here fucking asked and the only person I wanna be hot for is my spouse. You ain't him so your opinion on how to "improve" my appearance don't matter.

[meidui]

“It kinda feels personal.” | for @catws-anniversary ♡

[chessb0r3d]

i cracked the code.

[redbuddi]

the James Somerton thing really shows how hard people are willing to go to bat for a white cis guy who seems to say all the right things and makes content they like no matter how much everyone else has proof of them being a bad person. That is, until a more popular white cis guy who says all the right things calls them out.

This isn't a criticism of Hbomberguy at all, but of everyone else for refusing to listen to the voices of the people James hurt until Hbomb made it cool. This happens all the time and is still happening and it drives me insane. Y'all need to do better.

[ctl-yuejie]

a taste

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin

[bringbackthepornbots]

have not gotten over Thanatos saying "You're a god. Learn to act like one"

[hella1975]

in the showing up to the library with an overnight bag part of exam season

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

3l!grian is frequently depicted as a tragic figure and sometimes i wonder if we even watched the same series

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer Polyship Week 2024, Day Two: “Blorbo Has Two Hands” (Soulmate AU)

It's Day Two of Valicer Polyship Week 2024, "sponsored" by @polyshipweek, and today's prompt is "Blorbo Has Two Hands!" This prompt, as per PolyshipWeek's write-up on the matter, is all about "The rallying cry of polyshippers everywhere: Why have a love triangle when you can have a trio of lovers instead?" and how the polycule makes love, not war. This is naturally an excellent prompt, but I wasn't sure whether I was going to use it or one of the other ones when it came to writing a story for Day Two --

Aaaand then Wednesday, November 6th happened. And after rather a lot of time spent staring at the prompts with no inspiration because I was still feeling kind of numb inside over the fucking election results, I came back to the list right before going to bed, looked at "Blorbo Has Two Hands" again, and thought, "You know what, I can probably do something with that and my Soulmates AU -- specifically, someone doubting the trio are all actually soulmates because multiple soulmates isn't a common thing in that verse." So I drafted out a story about Smiler, working at a bar post-the trio fleeing England to avoid the wrath of Kelman, the wrath of Victor's parents, and possibly the wrath of the police after Alice killed Bumby, getting harassed by a customer who didn't believe them when they said that both they and Alice were Victor's soulmates -- only to get proven wrong when said soulmates showed up to find out why Smiler was suddenly feeling so upset. It was pretty rough, but I figured it worked for the prompt --

And then I went, "Hang on...didn't I just do something like this yesterday?" For indeed, this story was rather similar, at least in general theme, to the "Alice vs Nessa" Valicer In The Dark tale I wrote for Day One. But given my mental state at the time, I couldn't come up with anything better for Day Two. So I left it be and gave myself a choice -- either try to write a different story later, or lean into the theme and do a Victor-POV story of some jerk inserting their nose into the polycule's business and getting theirs for Day Three.

...given the story I'm about to present is the "Smiler gets harassed by a customer about whether or not multiple soulmates is a thing" story, you can probably guess what I chose. XD For now, here is your Day Two story! Sorry it took a bit to get there! XD

--

“So – Mister Van Dort over there is your soulmate?”

“Yup,” Smiler confirmed, smiling over at the table where Victor was currently involved in what looked like a rather intense conversation with Alice, his hands flying all over the place as they spoke. “We met at one of his parents’ parties – ended up in the same corner together, started commiserating over the fact that we both hated stuffy social gatherings, went to formally introduce ourselves by shaking hands, and – well.” Smiler grinned down at their own hands, currently drying a glass. “Suddenly the party was that much better.”

“I see,” their current customer – a fellow named Robert, who apparently ran a woodworking shop in town – murmured, nursing his third whiskey. “And Missus Van Dort is – all right with that?”

Smiler tilted their head. “Er – yes. Why wouldn’t she be?”

Robert raised an eyebrow at Smiler. “Because – she’s his wife?” he said slowly, as if they were an idiot. “And would likely want to be her husband’s soulmate?”

“Oh, there’s no problem there,” Smiler said brightly, putting away the dried glass. “She’s also his soulmate.”

Robert blinked at them. It was a pretty long blink. “What?”

“Alice is also Victor’s soulmate,” Smiler repeated obligingly. “We’ve got a bit of a thing going on.”

“You’re – but – that’s impossible,” Robert insisted, leaning heavily on the bar.

“It’s not,” Smiler said, mentally preparing their usual speech. “It’s rare, yes, but–”

“Balderdash,” Robert cut in, putting a finger in Smiler’s face. “People can only have the one soulmate. Otherwise, what’s the point of them?”

Now it was Smiler’s turn to blink. “What do you mean?”

“I’m talking about how the whole point of a soulmate is that they are the person that the universe has ordained as the most important one in your entire life,” Robert said, warming to his topic. “The relationship beyond which all others pale. The one twinned to the very center of your being! If you were given more than one, then – then it would cheapen that bond. Make it – make it lesser. It wouldn’t be about finding your perfect match – it would be about finding someone you just kind of like more than the rest. A person only has room in their soul for one soulmate. It’s simple fact.”

“It’s not,” Smiler insisted. “There’s been studies done on the bond, and–”

“Oh, studies,” Robert said derisively, grabbing his drink and taking a big swig. “Yes, everyone appreciates a study. As if any scientist really knows how to measure a soul.” He looked Smiler up and down. “And what do you know about studies? You’re a bartender.”

“My father’s an alienist,” Smiler said, wrinkling their nose against the bitter taste in their mouth produced by even obliquely mentioning Kelman. “And I study chemistry in my spare time. I’m not an idiot just because I pour drinks for a living.”

“No – you’re an idiot for letting your soulmate get married to someone else,” Robert retorted, attempting to poke Smiler’s arm – they jerked it out of the way just in time. “Shame on you for that. He’ll never be able to be a proper husband to his wife if you’ve already taken up that space in his soul! Everyone knows that people who have soulmates that are just friends have to remain single. It’s the natural order of things!” He took another drink. “Cruel of you both to lead that poor woman on. She should be off trying to find her actual soulmate, not being – taken advantage of by two horrible monsters like yourselves.”

Smiler opened their mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. Closed it again. Where the hell were their words right when they needed them most? Alice had once said they could talk their way out of a murder scene while holding a bloody knife, and now they couldn’t refute one drunk?! One deeply annoying drunk who’d hit pretty much every nerve in their body, sure, but… “I...you…”

“Smiler?”

Smiler and Robert both looked over to see Victor and Alice approaching, wearing identical expressions of concern. “Is everything all right?” Victor continued, picking at the knot of his tie. “You – you feel quite upset about something.”

“Very deeply annoyed indeed,” Alice added, giving Robert a suspicious glare. He smartly shrank away. “Is this fellow bothering you?”

“Yes, but he might not be for much longer,” Smiler said, smirking. “You were saying about how people can only have one soulmate?”

Robert looked between the three of them, visibly processing the fact that Alice too had felt Smiler’s emotions. “I – but – she – you?” he stammered, clearly having trouble collecting his thoughts.

“All three of us,” Smiler said, leaning on the bar. “Two romantic bonds and one platonic one, and all very real. And even if we weren’t all soulmates – so what? I think Victor would still have enough love in him to handle both his wife and me.” They put on an innocent stare. “Unless you’re saying that nobody can care about anyone but their soulmate? Because that sounds like a pretty lonely and miserable life to me.”

Robert stared at them for a moment more. Then he reached into his pocket, plonked some coins on the bar, and fled out the door. The trio watched him stumble away on wobbly legs. “...so I guess he didn’t believe you when you told him we were all soulmates,” Victor finally said.

“He did not, and decided to give me a big old lecture about it,” Smiler said, scooping up the money and counting it. “Okay, good, this is what he owed...anyway, it was all about how ‘multiple soulmates cheapens the bond’ and ‘if your soulmate is your best friend you need to remain single’ and nonsense like that.” They shook their head as they put the money away. “Who comes up with those things?”

“Arses,” Alice said succinctly.

Victor and Smiler both snorted. “Well put,” Victor said, then laid a hand on Smiler’s wrist. “And for what it’s worth, I don’t feel at all that having both you and Alice as soulmates has cheapened anything. If anything I feel – I feel blessed. I had trouble believing sometimes when I was younger that I was worthy of one soulmate, let alone two.” A bright smile split his face. “And now look at me. Tied forever to the two most wonderful people in the world.”

Smiler beamed, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. “I feel exactly the same. Two bonds just means twice the love to spread around.”

“Well said,” Alice said, putting her hand over theirs. “Hopefully someday people will understand that better.”

“Mmm. Until then…” Smiler leaned in and gave Victor a quick peck, before shooting Alice a grin. “I’ll just enjoy what we’ve got.”

[honeyconez]

guys hear me out would painis cupcake pay taxes? Because he’s not like mega insane like ass pancakes I think he’d pay his taxes in my professional opinion.

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Update 3: drove the asshole home bc I was so sure he was fr gonna die if he drove himself lmao. Poor dude looked so miserable, like bro was either holding back while we were working or he got worse the second he was able to relax, bc there wasn't a single moment of silence the whole drive back, dude was just curled up in the passenger’s seat shivering and being so fucking symptomatic. Like he was doing that thing where you basically cough all of the air out of your lungs then doing that rattly little inhale and then repeating, like it was Not Good 😬 0/10, hated being there to experience that in person, I was horrified, I want all of that to stay in audio recordings where it can't hurt me lmao. And he wasn’t sneezing a ton, but when he did, he stifled them until I told him to quit it bc the last thing he needs is a fucking ear infection on top of whatever the hell is already wrong with him, and even when he stopped, he was so congested that they sounded kinda stifled anyway 😭 like it's all objectively hot and I would've loved it had I just read it and not experienced it first hand, but unfortunately I'm a massive germaphobe and had to sit three feet away from this guy all damn day. So I bleached the hell out of my car and scrubbed myself down in the shower three times and I still don't feel like anything is clean enough, but I'm tired so it's gonna have to do for now lmao

[crystalkitty1220]

Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN

[loderlied]

mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

the thing about chilshi is that i see it as super one-sided on chilchuck's part and that's some shit he's bringing to the grave with him

[memento-morri-writes]

So, it's been a million years since I've done any real writing, but I was toying around with potential descriptions for one of my dnd campaigns, and I'm really proud of how it turned out:

tw for graphic description of an injury

Every inch of [Rook's] back and shoulders is raw, covered in dozens, maybe hundreds, of small cuts. They overlap and merge so that his entire back is one giant wound. But you can't even get a good look at the cuts, because they are covered by a thick layer of dried blood, almost black in some places.

This will be part of the description the party gets upon seeing Rook for the first time after he was kidnapped by Captain Wolf, and dear god I can't wait to see their reactions both in and out of character. :)))