#at least doing a bit better than my simple doodles

[blackghostm2oart]

So… I might have went a bit overboard, ehe

Plus close up

Soooo…. Yk about the whole 1920’s AU by @nerdywriter36 where Erik is a WWI veteran?

I was thinking about his awakening at the hospital and how it could have went…

I was thinking about him probably being unconscious for a while (some days? Or even weeks?) and then, after waking up, he asked the medics about the direness of the scars and got some pretty vague responses (tho still concerning), but then saw himself in a mirror that the nurses forgot to move away and, understandably, freaked out and became violent, this drawing shows that scene.

The hands are obviously some nurses trying to stop him from taking off his bandages (it wasn’t secure doing it yet) and one of them trying to drug him (to make him calm). The hands are disembodied for a couple of reasons: 1) It places Erik as the focus; 2) Can also be seen as a symbol for the ones lost to the war and the horrors of war (since they are gripping and paralysing him, a bit like trauma); 3)I’m unable to draw the other people (work smarter, not harder).

In the days after this accident he might have been drugged out of his mind (if they could afford it, which was rare, because those medications were needed for other patients) or tied up (which let his mind wonder).

The actual “unmasking” happened only after his wounds were closed (it took a while), he obviously didn’t react well and even tho he had wondered for a long time his imagination didn’t even come close to the reality he was facing.

I wanted to go with horror vibes here, it isn’t my strong suit, but I’m really proud of this.

Hope you don’t mind my yapping and theorising about your fic @nerdywriter36 and sorry for spamming.

I wonder if there will be elements of trauma on the actual fic.

[bootybumper808]

ᯓᡣ𐭩 SUNNY DAYS

YES, MY HEART IT’S FULL OF YOUR SMILE, YEAH.

denji / fem!reader (modern au drabble)

SYNOPSIS: one school morning, you were dozing off and mere inches away from falling asleep. The lack of sleep from last night was at fault. You could hardly keep your eyes open. That was until your desk neighbor tapped your shoulder and handed you a note.

—YOUR TEACHER WAS PROBABLY talking about something important or so. Not like you were listening. Well, you really couldn’t with the war you were fighting. A fierce battle against fatigue and shame.

One side wanted a well deserved rest after pulling an accidental all nighter whilst the opposing side refused to as your classmates would be well aware of how tired you were.

You’d feel even more shameful if you fell asleep and fell off your chair or slept talk. Your average reputation you tried hard to uphold would immediately be replaced by ‘girl who talks to herself in her sleep’ or whatever the hell these psychos at school would come up with.

If the person in front of you turned around, they’d probably think you’re having a seizure. You’re head would slightly fall limp until you’d knock yourself conscious and your eyes were struggling to even stay open for a simple second.

This was an actual hell. Maybe you shouldn’t have stayed up all night. What were you even doing? Man, you can’t even think properly.

All you could hope was that class ended soon so you could walk around to waken up.

The dread lasted for a few more minutes until the person who sat next to you tapped your shoulder and whispered your name soon after, catching your attention.

“This is for you.” She handed you a folded note with haste, seeming worried that she’d get caught by the teacher. You were grateful for the gesture as it woke you up from being half asleep but now you were confused.

A puzzled look manifested on your facial features as you stared down at the folded paper. On the side that faced up was written, ‘open!!!! [Name] only!!! fartbombing any1else who does!!!!!’

The writing was actually kinda really messy, took you a bit to decipher it. When you did you found it odd. Who uses fart bombs as a threat? It sounded stupid and childish.

…On second thought, it might actually be a really good threat. Especially if the fart stinks really bad. It could probably kill a person. Honestly, way better than literal bombs. At least it won’t destroy buildings.

You had to resist a chuckle before you unfolded the paper. Revealing even more writing. It was just as bad as the previous writing if not worse. Whoever was writing this needed serious help because you can not read it for the life of you.

It just looked like scribbles with the exception of a couple letters. The spelling was kinda bad too. Your exhaustion from earlier was slowly returning the more you stared at the paper which did not help.

A couple times passed but you couldn’t tell how much. With whatever time you spent, you managed to figure it out. ‘go owt wit me plez! b my gurlfrend?’

Below it was two choices, yes and xtra mega yes (said letter for letter—mind you), with an empty box below for you to check. Little doodles were all around the paper such as a couple doggies, hearts, and a stickman with heart eyes.

It was funny. And cute. You couldn’t lie about that. But how were you supposed to answer without knowing who it was from? Your eyes searched all over the side of the paper that faced you but nothing.

You tried the other side and there it was. In tiny little letters. The name Denji. You’d like to say you knew him well. You’d get grouped together often in team projects and exchanged numbers even, which is how you became friends.

He was easy to talk to and had humor. He was really nice too, willing to do almost anything you’d ask for… you barely did though. You felt to bad making someone do work for you.

His sweet personality overtime made your mind race at night. His smile almost made your heart break your ribcage. Overall, you liked him back. Obviously.

How did you not recognize his writing earlier? It’s easy to tell. Unconsciously, the corners of your lips lifted, forming a nice little smile. You could feel your heart pick up its beat and all of a sudden, all your fatigue was gone. In replacement, you felt happy and a little nervous.

For what? You didn’t even know. You picked up your pencil and checked off the second yes. He didn’t even give you an option to reject. Not like you would have anyway.

Folding it back up, you tapped the girl who had handed you the note. “Thanks, could you pass it back? Please?” You spoke in a hushed tone, careful to not alert the teacher.

She nodded and turned to the person behind her which created a sort of chain. You glanced back to the desk where Denji sat, only to be met with his own eyes that stared back. A light pink dusted his cheeks and you smiled even wider, an act he returned before you faced forward.

You waited with an anxious heart for the moment the paper would reach the owner. You wished you sat in the back too so you could see his reaction.

The only indication you got was a quiet, “yes!” and a thud that soon followed after, causing practically the whole class and the teacher to turn towards him.

You turned also, softly laughing with your hand covering your mouth as he rubbed his elbow with a pained expression. Did he hit it on the table? Denji was quick to recover and apologized to the class before meeting your eyes with a shy smile you absolutely adored.

NOTE : yall this is my apology for not updating apple cider ☠️ literally im so brain dead i cant think of anything 😭🙏. + I DONT GIVE A FAWK THAT DENJI IS SUPER EXTRA OUT OF CHARACTER I MADE THIS ON A WIM HAVE MERCYYYY 💔… I SWEAR ILL TRY TO GET SUM OUT THIS WEEK

[friends-w-ghosts]

Here’s my take on Relm and Gau ~10 years after the end of the game.

Relm’s color palette is always the hardest to make work but I think I did it. I enjoyed coming up with an outfit for her otherwise because it’s just always fun to make some detailed outfits just for the hell of it.

Gau’s I tried to keep simple but also reference back to Sabin and Cyan quite a bit. Just changing how much of each color there is in his color palette also made him look more like the soldiers in Figaro, which wasn’t even intentional but it works.

But beyond design ideas here’s what I was thinking about Gau in general a bit after FFVI:

I feel like he’s old enough in FFVI to remember and hold on to a lot of his connection to the wild and at least some habits.

To better word a previous comment I can see him staying around South Figaro as a home base to be near Sabin, Cyan, Edgar, etc. but also spending a lot of time traveling basically anywhere and everywhere to help restore some of the ecosystems and wildlife that was damaged by Kefka (and also the Empire before it fell apart. But mostly Kefka specifically).

That just feels like it’d be a good balance of being around family but also not being confined to one place. I mean even in FFVI itself he leaves and stays with monsters in the Veldt before coming back after a bit.

As for his future after that, I’d have to keep thinking. I’d love to hear anyone else’s thoughts as well! I honestly love thinking about this and if I’m able to come up with some sort of plot I think it has short comic potential.

Also a quick sketch of Gau as an accountant (differentiated from any other office job because there’s a calculator) (EDIT: clarification that this is a joke he’d lose his mind at any type of even relatively indoors job lol. Especially an office job. He’s probably just doodling stuff rather than doing any work ngl)

This whole post inspired by this short convo:

[shadebloopnik]

Finally for the first time tryin to draw this man

Just a lil doodle while in class.

Also had the sudden inspo bc of a lil thingy(AU? Would it still be considered AU if i dont plan to expand?). Ik Angel!Alastor AUs are a thing, at least i think so, so i decided to try it out a lil bit.

So tadaaa, Angelic Alastor. I cannot draw wings to save my life, so bear with me. I based the eye shapes and over all facial expressions on how i drew the first Alastor doodle, except its a teeny bit less sharp with less bolder lines. I shaped his hair somewhat the same for the top part, except a bit slicked back with a more windswept look. I imagine his hair would be white with red tips, with an overall white, and red color scheme, with a black collar standing out. He'd have the same red eyess, tho with whites surrounding it.

I gave him two wings, to maybe signify that he is above most angels, though below those such as the Seraphims and Archangels, at least in rank. I was a bit conflicted what to make his cane like(yea ofc im giving him a cane im not a monster). Originally i wanted to copy what his lil antlers looked like, as to be a simple staff, but ended up with that wider antler design. Idk.

Angelic Alastor wouldn't really be much different than Demon Alastor, except for the fact that he's better at hiding it all, at least he wants to. He's quite powerful amongst other angels, moreso than seraphims despite being of lower rank. Similarly to how he can melt in the shadows, as an angel, he can dissolve into the light. Haven't really cemented what exact type of angel he is, though i'd imagine he's still a bit of a recluse, preferring to go off alone to do as he wishes.

Angelic Alastor is every bit as mischievous as his demonic counterpart. He lives for the entertainment, and his humor's quite biting for a being of light. He's sharp and charming and witty, and quite rebellious as well. He's curious about different possibilities, and has never quite felt like he belonged among his "perfect" angelic peers. He knows he's imperfect, and that all those ideas would be considered blasphemous. So he remains quiet, under the radar even with his strength; all to escape the possibility of being persecuted.

Its what draws him to the Morningstar. Lucifer, the powerful archangel with a heart of gold and a mind filled with wonder. (Also to anyone who's seen my blog, yes ofc im inserting radioapple im weak) Despite their gap in rank, Lucifer never treated him any differently, and Alastor found himself treating the shorter angel as an equal. Their friendship was a bit odd perhaps for the others, considering how they'd often greet each other with playful jabs and teasing remarks, all quite informal and rather unruly. He was drawn to Lucifer's ideas, as was Luci to him, both relishing in the fact that they weren't alone, despite being different.

Lucifer had always been the louder dreamer. Though Alastor often agreed with his ideas, and sometimes egged him on, Al knew the risks and knew when to pull back. He was cautious where Lucifer took risks.

And y'all already know its Radioapple but what if we add Lilith to the mix-

Like imagine, Lucifer coming back to Alastor and gushing about the first woman, the taller man amused at his friend's lovesick expressions. Imagine him being acquainted with Lilith, and charmed as well by passion and hopes for change. He's weak for dreamers okay-

Like imagine him helping the two hide their relationship, being the most cautious of the 3. Imagine his heartbreak when the two gets sent to hell. Imagine Lilith and Lucifer holding him, stopping him from falling with them, because he cant do this without them please-

This may have gotten away from me a bit

Anyway, there's also a teeny doodle of biblically accurate Angelic Alastor(idk ehat to call them, but those forms Sera and Em have when they go 👁👁👁👁)

Idk if i'll ever do anytjing with this. I have a whole fic playing in my head but its very long with a whole lot of plot and idk if im strong enough-

[finn-m-corvex]

Whumptober Day 23: Stalking

Day 23! Another one that was giving me some trouble until I finally settled into a rhythm! This one is a bit clunky at some points, but I think it's fine. If anything it just adds to the charm!

Taglist: @splinnters @abigailxoxo @tornoleander @mondothebombo @ghostwalloper @toastingpencils37 @lightning-chicken

Words: 2.1k

There was something following him.

But Jay couldn’t figure out what it was.

After having a hellish last night and needing some sort of distraction, he had only been sent on a simple grocery store run, just for a few items for Zane to make for dinner, and it wasn’t supposed to take more than an hour at most. Staying on the phone with Nya the whole time definitely added to his time, but it was necessary unless the team wanted Jay to come back with the most random shit in the store instead of the actual groceries. Crossing things off of the paper list that Zane printed out for him, Jay also made sure to tell Nya when he got an item, where she would then cross it off on her own list to mitigate his habit of doodling on the paper.

Sue him, he got bored and needed something to do with his hands.

Now, two hours later, Jay finally started to walk home with all of the required items (and a can of cream cheese frosting that he and Nya were going to share), and this was supposed to be the easiest leg of the journey after the ADHD hell known as grocery shopping on a budget.

Jay didn’t comment on the footsteps that seemed to follow him for the past two blocks, instead only keeping one ear open for them and listening to Nya with the other. The grocery trip had done wonders for keeping his anxiety down at the moment. Stepping in the puddles littering the sidewalk made him antsy, but at least it made listening out for the footsteps a little easier. Nya was complaining about Kai, saying something about how much room his hair gel was taking up in the bathroom and how he was being a shower-hog. If Jay wasn’t preoccupied then he most likely would’ve been joining in.

“--can you believe that?! You take up three whole shelves of the bathroom cabinet for your stupid hair products but it’s my problem because I have too much skin care stuff?! Ugh!”

“That’s awful,” Jay agreed. He learned a long time ago how to do the verbal smile and nod trick with Nya, and he hoped that she would never pick up on it.

“Right? I can’t even deal with him. I ought to throw his hair gel straight off the side of the Bounty.”

“But we both know that you won’t,” the footsteps behind him changed, and Jay’s lungs tightened when he realized that the stranger had stepped off the street and into an alley. That wasn’t good.

He needed to switch up his route a bit. It would take longer, but that was fine; at least the stranger shouldn’t be able to follow him across the street without him noticing.

Crossing was easy, and Jay made sure to go over as many puddles as possible so that the person would have no choice but to make noise. Noise was good, because noise was going to keep him safe, and Jay was great at making noise. As long as he kept Nya talking, then he should be okay.

That didn’t mean it was good for his anxiety though. Walking around Ninjago City at night never scared him when he was in uniform, but when he was walking in his civvies? Not a great feeling. Someone really had to talk to the mayor about getting the bulbs in the streetlamps replaced, because every other one was out and Jay found himself almost sprinting to make it to each one. And to make it even worse, he didn’t bring any of his weapons with him.

Nya didn’t pick up on his inner distress when the footsteps picked back up, right back behind him like nothing happened. “Yeah, I guess I won’t. But he’s on thin fucking ice.”

“And being the master of fire doesn’t help,” Jay always made stupid puns when he was nervous.

“Jay,” Nya sighed, and despite everything that was going on it still made Jay feel a bit better.

The footsteps grew closer, and Jay was tempted to just throw the groceries on the ground and sprint away. Surely the others would understand once they heard his reasoning, right? But Jay knew that he couldn’t do that, both because Zane might actually say something unkind to him and Cole might kick his ass for ruining dinner, and Jay didn’t want to ruin dinner.

Step. Step. Step. Step.

Stomp. Stomp.

Stomp?

People needed to come with built-in rearview mirrors, and Jay was kicking himself for staying on the phone with Nya; if he had his phone free, he could’ve used his camera to check behind him and see who the hell was following him. Who the two people were, actually.

“Okay, Walker,” Jay mumbled, low enough that Nya wouldn’t hear it over her rambling, “you can do this. Just gotta get a little creative.”

If he took this next side street, made a left, crossed again up there and then ducked behind that one weird building that no one ever liked to walk past…

Yeah, he could make this work.

He was fairly sure that the only reason he wasn’t being jumped yet was because he was on the phone, and he needed to keep it that way. “Nya?”

“What’s up?” Nya asked, finally stopping whatever she was saying about Kai and giving him her full attention. Jay’s anxiety must’ve bled into his voice.

Turning left, Jay tucked himself closer to the buildings on his side, hoping that they might help him to hide away and blend into the background. Maybe he could try that cool thing people do in the movies where they shed their jacket and it’s like they’re a whole new person. Would that actually work? “I think I’m being followed. I need you to keep track of my location and pick me up at the corner of Avenue and Lint.”

Avenue was such a stupid street name, and whichever dryer company sponsored the creation of Lint Street needed to be banished to the Cursed Realm. Jay was quick to tell Nya this information, mostly because he didn’t want his pursuers to know that he was calling for help. Also because his anxiety was making him blurt the first thing that popped into his mind.

The grocery bags were getting harder to hold onto as his palms started to slick with sweat, and Jay tightened his grip and picked up the pace. Plastic digging into his fingers, Jay vaguely thought about whether or not the grocery bags could cut into his fingers, and maybe he could make a joke out of it.

“Hey,” he said, “do you think that if the bags were heavier, I would eventually start bleeding?”

“You know that’s not funny,” and yet Jay could hear the smile playing on Yang’s lips, because it was the kind of ridiculous question that only he would ask. “Alright, we’re on our way. Think you can make it there in ten?”

“Ten? What do you take me for? I’ll make it five.”

“If you make it five then you’re going to be early.”

“Shit, seriously?” Jay snickered despite the situation. “Well, you know me. Punctual is my middle name. Tell Cole that he better have twenty bucks ready for me.”

Something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye as he passed one of the alleys: a third person. Man, tall, long coat and a hat covering his face, watching for when Jay crossed the mouth of the alley, and Jay saw him move after him. Now there were three of them on his tail, and the shadows between the streetlamps were stretching longer and longer out. These people knew what they were doing.

This was only more apparent to Jay when a fourth figure stepped out in front of him to block his way.

Gotta change course again. “Change of plans, might be there in ten minutes after all,” Jay ground out, taking a deep breath and turning abruptly to walk across the street. He really hoped that a car wasn’t going to come barreling down this road.

“How many are after you?” Nya asked, alarmed. Jay felt the same way.

“Four, I think. They’re trying to box me in.”

He heard the sound of keys clacking; Nya must’ve relocated to the main control room. “Hold on, I’m pulling up the security cameras so I can track you.”

“Can’t you just see my location through your phone?” Jay asked, his heart hammering away in his chest. The anxiety from before was starting to wash over him again, threatening to pull him under and not let him back up. Nya must’ve picked up on some of it, as she was quick to start reassuring him as she sifted through Kai’s too many tabs to find the security feeds.

“I can, but I need to be able to see how many are following you,” she explained. “Aha! I see you. You were right, there’s four, and—”

She stopped talking, and Jay’s stomach dropped. “Nya? What is it?”

“Jay, please tell me you have a weapon or your suit.”

“I don’t have either, why?” Jay walked faster, and he knew that he was making himself look more and more suspicious. “Nya?”

“They have guns,” Nya said breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard. She sounded worried. “You may have to fight them.”

“Not when I have the groceries,” and he turned the corner much faster than he needed to. If the people following him didn’t realize that Jay was aware before, they definitely knew now.

“I don’t give a flying fuck about the groceries, I need you to get home,” Nya said tightly. “Whatever you do, do not hang up this phone. Stay on the line with me.”

“If I don’t bring the groceries back then Zane and Cole will actually kill me—”

“And I’ll kill them if they do that,” Nya growled. “Stay on the phone, be ready to drop everything and run if I tell you to.”

His anxiety was raging around in his chest like a caged animal. Jay felt his lightning start to flicker under his clothes, but he did his best to keep it contained. The mayor had asked very nicely that the Ninja not use their elements in the city when there wasn’t an emergency, and Jay didn’t think that this qualified as an emergency. Putting as much force into his steps as possible did little to alleviate the anxiety; Jay felt like he was caught in a free-fall with a broken parachute.

Just keep moving. He had to keep moving. As long as he stayed on the move, they couldn’t catch him.

“Why didn’t I bring the suit?” he muttered angrily. Rage boiled in his blood, both at himself and at these people who thought that they could take on one of the most skilled fighters in all of Ninjago.

More clicking and clacking. “Because you didn’t think that this was going to happen, and it was just supposed to be something to ease your mind. Don’t be upset with yourself,” Nya assured, but it did little to make Jay feel better.

The distance between the lights was getting farther and farther apart, and Jay was glad that he knew how to navigate his way through the shadows. It was a new light every hundred feet, and then two hundred, then three, and suddenly…

Suddenly there was no more light.

Whoever was doing this had sabotaged the rest of the streetlamps.

Every instinct in Jay’s body was screaming. He knew how to fight in the shadows, but he did not have the ability to fight right now. Hands seemed to form out of the darkness, reaching for him, and Jay veered away from them as best as he could while staying on the sidewalk.

It had been seven minutes. Three minutes left.

“What are you doing?” Nya asked. Jay forgot that she was still watching him.

He couldn’t catch his breath. “There’s no more lights. T-There’s stuff trying to grab me.”

“No one’s trying to grab you, honey. I would be able to see them if they were trying to. But I do need you to pick up the pace a little bit; they’re catching up behind you.”

“Nya, I can’t see. There is no light.”

“You see the light blinking on the camera?” Nya asked, and Jay looked to the sky. Sure enough, there was a small red dot a ways away across the street. “Follow it. I’ve got your back, Jay.”

And the breath rushed back into his lungs for the final push. He could do this. He knew that he could do this. Tightening his grip on the bags once again, he pushed the sounds of the footsteps out of his mind and focused fully on the red dot. “I’m with you, Nya. Show me where to go.”

[datrb]

2023 art review!

Even if this year wasn't the biggest on art, due to my physical condition (especially in last couple of months), it would still be nice to look back on what i did as an artist throughout it!

This is gonna be a fun ride...

So, let's dive straight into it, shall we?

Continuation under the cut

January

2023 started on a high note, with me just having finished the King piece, and moving on to the next big thing, being an AvA3/5 double piece.

Sadly, during the process i messed up big time which led to me being unable to finish the piece the way i wanted to, rendering this project an eternal WIP. However, i still cherish the idea and do wish to either redraw, or complete it.

February

Doing 2 big projects one after another did end up affecting my overall drive, so i spent majority of that month just making sketches.

First one is a little redraw/redesign of my old character - Derek, whom i used for a roleplay with my friends like 3 or 4 years ago, and second one is Deach, a character from my fantasy setting.

Also, back then i joined a new fandom, people in which have reminded me of my admiration for SCP, after which me and my friends proceeded to make OCs for it. Was a fun time! (Also this access card was sold by me as a YCH, sadly i couldn't really find buyers, so yikes)

March

By march is slowly started recovering from january's disappointement and was a bit more productive already. One of my friends really helped with it too.

A musician friend of mine reached out to me, asking to develop a design for a villain character in the plot he was working on. After listening to the theme song i couldn't resist. This ended up being one of my favorite designs so far, and i adore its look in neon.

In the meantime, i kept working on my fantasy setting, refining more minor details of designs and stories, yet having to reserve only to making sketches as i was too busy with college and other projects. Characters you see on screen are Ian and Lanfor respectfully. One is a strong yet troubled mage and other is a great Emperor, and even better person.

April

I'd say april was one of the most productive months of this year, mostly because i managed to snatch some time for myself and my setting, which allowed me to complete two full pieces and achieve some extreme progress with my story.

This piece is an illustration to a scene i wrote for two of the characters, Lanfor and Emile, called "Night Visitor". This was a scene of a reunion of two old friends. A bittersweet, yet a lovely work. Love both the written one as well as the illustration.

This one was more of a... Proof of concept. Needed to test out the expresiveness of the design for one or a relatively new characters - Covlar. Was originally a simple sketch on paper, but i couldn't resist the urge of making it into a complete illustration. I then proceeded to make a few notes for this scene. Both want to write it properly and avoid it at all cost... Best to avoid it, for my own sanity.

May

May was a bit of trainwreck, because i got a brand new laptop, which took me quite some time to get used to and even more time to reassure myself that it is in fact alright for me to draw on this suspicioiusly thin piece of tech.

Ironically enough, the only vomplete piece i drew that month was drawn on my old laptop. This screenshot redraw was to made to honour the premiere of AvA6 ep.1. Sadly, i did it a bit late because fo technical issues, but i still had a ton of fun doing it.

June

June was... Chaotic, to say the least. Mostly because i finally got comfortable with the new laptop and could now draw a lot more freely due to it being a lot more compact than the original one, which worked almost like a PC. Besides, i got a ton more free time because semester finals ended up being a breeze.

Ended up making a ton sketches and doodles, that i didn't actually plan to finish, but still enjoyed a ton. Here are some of them

Then, ofc, the memes and the gand redesign, because AvA6 just had to break all of my portrayals. But, i mean, after AvM s3 my original designs did become a bit dated.

The biggest pride and saddest of failures was this picnic piece, however. I still plan on finishing it, but it is hard doing so, when i have changed quite a bit of my artstyle by now.

July

July was quite lazy. Semester ended and i spent that entire month out of the city. It was a great time, very peaceul indeed.

And again, that musician friend from before came into clutch, asking me to develop another design for his other project. And again a villain. He said he really liked how i draw bastard type of characters.

August

Well this is where fun began. End of summer break means i have just this much time to actually draw something i would never have time to draw normally.

For me to draw something to commemorate a new episode is almost like a tradition at this point. And, given how long it's been since i made anything that would require effort, no wonder i have chosen arguably the most complex piece to pull off energy-wise. Yet i did and now i simply adore this piece, even if it did render me disabled. (I crunched through all of this piece, pulling off 40+ hours of work in just 4 days, so naturaly it ended up worsening my condition by a lot)

Then i also proceeded to do all of these tiny side projects, like Victim ask, which i couldn't last long at due to my condition, and working on a design for my favourite streamer. (Which i cannot show as the work is not complete an it's best if i avoid spoilers)

September and October

These two months i spent being unable to draw at all via a doctor's advice. Arguably, these two were the hardest months for me to handle.

I assume you can imagine how hard it is to suddenly stop being able to do what you love, regardless of how much you wish to do it.

Novemer

*Nervous laughter* I... actually still wasn't allowed to use my hand, but that didn't stop me and i ended up making an entire series of sketches to celebrate AvA6 ep2.

"Small in big quantity will sure be less exhausting than a single big thing" - (C) Me, proably

I will admit, i still adore all of these sketches and each of them deserves to become a fully fledged piece in it's own right, but i really better keep them as they are. For my own safety.

December

As you way have expected, this month will stay without a single thing from me. It's not because i don't want to, but because i can't. And, given the circumstance, it better stay that way.

Afterword

I finally got my diagnosis and soon enough i will start active treatment for my condition. It would be a shame to make this worse than it already is with impulses like those that happened in november, so i am making this post as a way to draw a line for myself.

It is still kinda crazy to realize that there are quite a few people interested in what i make, so i will make sure to take my recovery as responcible as possible, and then come back to you with even more art in the upcoming year! Let's be positive about it.

[bosskie]

Molluck's Emotions 'n' Faces

I barely felt like drawing a few days ago but I just kept seeing a certain image of Molluck inside my head, so I started doodling him, yet again... This doesn't look like what I had inside my head since it made no sense to me when I tried to draw it... So yeah, here's just some random Molluck sketches I did to practice his face anatomy. I didn't mean to render these sketches, but like I have said, I'm bad at drawing simple stuff...

It seems like I do like to mix realism and cartoony elements together, I just haven't noticed it this clearly before... I had no idea what effect to draw that angry Molluck to have, so I ended up 'setting his head on fire'... You surely don't wanna make him angry! Though I gotta say that I love drawing angry faces, so this is yet one more reason why I love drawing Molluck this much.

I don't know how odd it's to see me drawing him mainly without his scars but it's just about that I tend to picture him before 'that disaster'. I also think that that his black suit fits better this new Molluck and that purple suit fits the best those previous Mollucks, so that's why I also keep this same suit. He is a very stylish Gluk!

I also have been thinking his face recently, in a certain way (of course I think about his face, like every day). He seems to look the most like 'a traditional Glukkon', or how I should say... He looks surprisingly a lot like he did in Abe's Oddysee. Yes, I could make this comparison between that New 'n' Tasty one too, but I prefer doing it this way, especially when I prefer this AO Molluck over NnT one (though, when it comes to anatomy, NnT is probably better... Yes, his body has a bit different anatomy in these games, especially arms, but when it comes to his hands, well, that concept art wins... Yeah, I'm basically mixing my fave Molluck stuff from different 'versions'. But enough about his body, for now.).

Here's an image to illustrate what I see:

Yeah, not the best quality but hopefully you see the main stuff here. First, he got similar cheeks; I'm not sure how to describe them but they have like two parts. The shape of his forehead, like the area around his eyes, is similar but also the shape of his eyes. (A little note: I have noticed that his eyes are a bit different in the actual cutscenes, and it's probably due to that this is a concept art piece, made on the 3D model, like his suit ain't actually a 3D thing but a drawing.) The basic shape of his head is the same in general, like his ears have the similar shape too. His chin has that 'separate part' in the middle of it. And yeah, his mouth looks pretty similar too. When I took that one screenshot for the ask, I also thought while looking at this Glukkon sign in it that man, this looks like Molluck's shape:

So yeah, Molluck is indeed 'the Glukkon'. But I also tend to think that he has very delicate features, or I at least tend to think this, that he looks very elegant and therefore he is such a beautiful Glukkon. Yes, I prefer to call him beautiful than handsome since like I said, I find him just elegant, adorable, endearing, even dainty, and so on, those kinda soft/feminine adjectives, so he is indeed beautiful for me. Though yes, he do is also handsome but I just prefer those adjectives about him. Frankly, I feel kinda alone with this but I guess that one reason for it is the orientation but also my personality, my own preference, and so on...

Yeah, it also has came to my mind to think that probably some people (would) find my Molluck sculpt creepy... Like there are people who do find him scary/intimidating but well, also ugly. But for me, he is just so adorable, beautiful, and well, my ideal man... They say that some people have unrealistic beauty standards, well, look at mine then, they totally are unrealistic! But I still managed to find 'my man', so no problem. (Y) I just have like zero interest in dating and other stuff like that IRL, so this is just my way to be, having a fictional partner. I know how some people see it, would see me as a weirdo, but I'm not gonna change myself for them. I'm so used to be seen as odd, so I kinda have no way to be 'normal' anyway, why I even should be like that. It used to depress me back then but then I started to embrace my 'oddness', especially after finding Oddworld, so yeah, I just tend to describe myself as 'an odd man' these days.

Also yeah, Molluck's species is also sapient and he do can express himself, so I just see there shouldn't be any problem in this way. Though, sometimes I wonder if he would really be into a relationship like this since he is so into his business, getting his moolah, and so on, but also probably has this attitude that Glukkons are 'higher/better species' than many others, making me wonder how he would see humans since yeah, I do am a human in my self-insert world with him, look like I do IRL. But I still see him having a certain kind and soft side inside him that he must hide, like I genuinely find him friendly, so I feel like my own species wouldn't be a problem for him, even if humans look similar to Mudokons. Also, I bet that he enjoys having someone to pamper him, that he can be himself with someone and having someone that understands him. Just no matter what has been said about him, I still find him a lovely Gluk!

Um yeah, I'm not sure of what else to say here but that yesterday, I saw some unseen Molluck and Glukkon stuff for me from that rare Oddworld artbook, the First 10 Years of Oddworld. (I gotta own it one day.) Man, it made me laugh a lot when I saw that storyboard for the ending of AO. Like, Molluck seems to swear and then, when Abe tries to chant, he just blows smoke into his face; just loved that stuff! I just can totally see Molluck doing that stuff, and man, I would love to create something related to this! Also yeah, it also made me laugh a lot when the book called that young Glukkons flushing their pet Fleeches down the toilet as 'the rite of passage'. In our world, people abandon their pets in the streets, but in Oddworld, they are flushed down the toilet; which one is worse? Well, probably depends on the species of the pet. I still need to draw a Glukkon with a Fleech... I just cannot really figure out how to draw young Glukkons... Like, I really wish to draw Molluck as a child with his Fleech pet... Well, just gotta try it one day. I have wanted to draw a Glukkon with a Fleech since I heard about the whole thing in the game but drawing young Glukkons has felt impossible...

But yeah, just so much stuff to create! Maybe I should just draw like a child, you know, just not really care about the result, just do it! There somewhere I still just prefer to see my stuff as amateur stuff, like I'm only a hobbyist anyway, not a professional; my stuff doesn't look like professional to me anyway, I know what it lacks of. I just personally think that my stuff doesn't have a high quality, barely good; it's just 'okay' for me. Sometimes, I just tend to think that every person I see here draws better than me and therefore I should stop posting my trash... Though, I don't even wanna really think about who draws the best, just focus on what the drawing is about.

~ Gotta just keep creating!

[bellybiologist]

TLDR: Verzi Need Money. Here Link for Helping Fill Money Bar with Money Juice. -Ko-fi -Commission form (Open again! Note the price increase!) -Patreon -Paypal.me

Okay! Verzi need money. So! Here's this.

This shitty meter here is just for a bit of transparency (Graphic design is NOT my passion), cuz people like to know where there money is going. This will fill up as with funds from my patreon (money I got this month is already there!), from commissions, and from any tips/extras given by kind souls in passing, and I need to hit these marks EVERY month for like… a year. (This is after fees and such of course, cuz god forbid we don't pay the middle-men their dues.)

I will update this thing as time passes so ya'll will know where I'm at. Reblogging/Sharing is welcome, encouraged, and greatly appreciated!

A bit of info for each section under the Readmore:

-Rent and Bills: The Most Important thing to Keep Verzi Kickin'! I pay half my apartment's now $1368 rent PLUS the utilities, which range from 100~200 bucks, splitting with my aunt who works 2 jobs to make sure she pays her half. Since my mom passed away from Pancreatic cancer in 2021, this has been rough since it used to be split 3 ways.

-Dental Costs: The face bone doctors want my money after drilling holes and pulling out the insides!! My face actually feels BETTER so i'm not as mad as I COULD be about this, but this needs to be paid for the next 12 months. (And they want MORE money to do a cleaning and I almost laughed. Like, no buddy you ain't getting 750 out of me when I don't even have a refrigerator.(See Below))

-Big Purchase+Credit Card bills: It wont pay off ALL my credit card debt, but it keeps me from falling behind. Since the passing of Michael and Fred (my microwave and refrigerator respectively) I need to make some big purchases so my kitchen functions. Michael has been successfully replaced by Mikaela, and we are still looking for Fred's replacement. Ms. Frida, the chest freezer who is literally older than I am (I am 33!!) and STILL functions is holding down the fort while we look for a refrigerator. We can live without a fridge thanks to her constant service, allowing us to keep frozens. Also, like, literally on the 30th of July, Monty the Monitor must've succumbed to heatstroke so i had to buy one of THOSE too for my computer setup. I will name all my appliances to cope.

-Extra+Taxes: Once we get here, I'm in the clear for the month's expenses! However!! Taxes are due in October. I DO NOT know how much that will be, and since the whole Covid relief thing that lessened business taxes ended last year, I MAY be paying for quite a bit!! Anything past this point will be prepping for Taxes AND forming a buffer for More Happenings (God forbid).

===== Rewards??? Rewards!! =====

I considered a Drive like other kink artists in these circles, but I don't like drives for several reasons and those reasons are why I've never done one in the past. Despite that, I STILL want to do something that at least feels like a reward or incentive for people keeping me Alive™, so I'm going to do some simple doodles/sketches, and possibly try to stream those doodles in my discord!

Every 100 bucks past the "Rent and Bills Paid" section (meaning at 900 dollars and onward), I will do a RANDOM drawing from any requests/suggestions from the pool made by people who threw some cash monies my way!

Suggestions can be sent in through Ko-fi messages, Paypal notes accompanying payments/donations/tips, and a Patreon-only post (they are always giving me money, so patrons have access by default!). Commissioners who send in the form can ALSO suggest something for the pool if they like! (there's a question on the form for it) Now, like all requests, it's ultimately up to my discretion on whether or not I will draw something, but I will still try to keep it random and let it be a roll of the dice (or a RNG app).

There is no minimum requirement either! So people throwing only $1 at me, buying only one Ko-fi, or dropping anything bigger are free to offer a suggestion. But please limit requests/suggestions to one entry per person.

Now, as to what these will and can be:

-It will be a simple lined sketch with one color or flat colors. Depends on how many need doing, how I'm feeling when I draw it and how complicated it is.

-It can be up to 2 characters, but they may be less refined compared to a single character one. They can be the same character in 2 different states, or 2 different characters interacting with each other.

-No private requests please! It will have to be something that can be publicly posted and that you're fine with being perceived by others.

-In terms of kinks/sizes/etc, it will be something that you'd normally see on this blog or for my work! Mileage may vary, but more extreme stuff that I'd normally avoid may be glossed over when I'm constructing the pools.

-Unlike commissions, these will not go through a WIP stage/be modified after the fact! They end up how they end up. If you wanna be nitpicky, please use this opportunity to order a full commission!

-You're allowed to suggest OCs as long as it's yours or its owner has given permission to draw them in the context I am known to put boys in!

[searihart]

Hello!! I've been working out a new phone case design and realized I've been picturing making a collage like the ones you posted (I have some milgram and miku stickers I want to make look nice under a clear case). I was just wondering if you had any tips on making them, they're so beautiful! ✨️

I- woah- thank you, that was so sweet (⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠)

Tips... I'm not sure if I can really give tips, it has been a bunch of trial and error, of seeing what I like and what I don't, but I'll give you what I've learnt, and walk you through my process!

For example, the orange one is cute, but to me it felt like it had too much white, the same happened with the yellow one, I tried to fill both backgrounds with little doodles, the orange with black pen didn't convince me, and the yellow with marker, which made it look better and that became my go to

The next problem I faced was wanting to use everything I had, making it looked cluttered. From here I also learnt that I don't want everything filled and having a bit of background show and irregular edges does wonders for the final thing (but that depends on where you are doing it tho, since yours is a phone case, it'd probably look good if you slightly go past the edges and cut away the excess)

I also found appealing using many different shapes and tones! While some things are on top of others, layering them (like the Luigi, he is above everything except the "important" tag) gives them a nice vibe.

Also, sometimes less is more! This are some of the most simple pages I have, but I love how they look. They make the main focus of something stand out, and applied the irregular edges with little doodles on the background. And even so, in here I did use the full post it's, but since they aren't all lined up, it still gives off that asymmetrical look!

And lastly, I always plan it out! I first get out all the materials I think I will use or fit the theme I'm going for, I usually get more than I'm going to use, and then start to lay them out one by one. Usually the biggest that will work as background first and then start to see where I'll put the little ones. moving slightly, checking if changing the angle will look better, putting parts of a same piece above and under others, tweaking little by little. Once I arrive at something I like, I take a picture and take it apart to then start working on it.

Another thing is playing with the textures! On that last one one post it has flowers washi tape and the other one doesn't and is all crumbled up! And making little handmade parts like the doodles, marker background, the EKG on Shidou's, or the stars on the second to last, all that gives it a unique vibe, a little extra sparkle, at least for me

I'm not sure if this is of any help, I'm sorry heh, but this are the things I've learnt that worked for me! I hope they work for you as well!

[mysticsparklewings]

Obscutober 2024 Day 8: Inflorescence 💐

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Inflorescence (n.)

the flowering part of a plant or arrangement of flowers on a stalk; the time and process of budding and unfolding flowers.

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So begins Week 2 of Inktober! 🖋️

I am pretty pleased with today’s art, but my posting time probably says it all: Not everything was coming up roses in the making-of process. 😅

Click the "Keep Reading" and we'll talk about it! ✨

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

---------- Whew boy Sparklers; If I seem a little "off" or this description comes out a bit short, that's because (to the surprise of absolutely no one) I got a bit of a later start on this mandala than I'd hoped and it also ended up taking longer than I wanted. 😅 Thus I am now very acutely aware that I have much less time to get this description type and everything cross-posted than I'm really comfortable with.

Granted, this isn't the Cinderella-esque race against Midnight that I've very "used to" from Inktobers' past, but in some small ways that almost makes it worse because I know I've technically been doing much better than usual this year and the further I push that "better" envelope, the more anxious I become. 🫠

So let me stop wasting time rambling about that and get to talking about the art!

I think the main reason this one ended up taking so long is because I hyped it up too much—The idea of getting to draw a mandala made of flowers àla Adult Coloring Book-Style was so enticing that I did that thing us artists tend to do sometimes; I got in my head about it being "good enough" and "right" and all that, as if this is somehow the only opportunity I'll ever have to make a flower mandala so it "needed" to be perfect. 🙄

And, in a strange kind of other sense I think I had a little too much confidence going in because I recently spent quite a bit of time drawing intricate flowers in a similar style for a project you Sparklers haven't seen yet but my Ko-fi Members have. [And hopefully you Sparklers will get to see it soon, too, I've just been too busy to squeeze it in yet!] Mostly, I underestimated my own standards for what translating those flower drawing skills into this mandala format would be like. 😅

I also kind of hurt myself in that I decided I really wanted to get roses in here somewhere on top of trying to make sure I got at least one flower that had more obvious stages of blooming (per today's deifnition), rather than all of them being full-bloom. Naturally, I picked the most difficult option of having the roses be said multi-stage flower. 🙃 I'm sure I don't have to tell any of you Sparklers that have attempted to draw them before that roses are among some of the trickier flowers to draw, particularly in a more doodle-y style like this. I have semi-successfully handled roses before, but I think it's been literal years since the last time I drew any. 🫣 [Maybe not, but I don't feel like I have the time to dig through my posts and check to be sure right now!]

You can see that I did manage some results I'm decently happy with in the end, of course, but I probably spent about half of the total time I worked on this mandala on the roses specifically. 😵‍💫

And then of what was left, probably about half of that was spent on the "final" swirling vines that have different little pink flowers on them. Which is to say I think that was the second most challenge part to draw, even though it's one of the more simple elements present.

I could have stopped before adding those final swirls and it probably would've been fine, but the outer corners just felt so empty compared to all the flower and leaf stuff going on elsewhere, particularly the center-most ring. (That's what I get for adding lines to look more like a vague suggestion of roots below the big leaves!) I wanted to fill just a little more space badly.

If I hadn't felt timing ticking down so strongly, I would've definitely bothered to figure out something a little more involved for those swirls, but it just wasn't meant to be today. I couldn't stop thinking about the time and it seemed like every other false start I has either wasn't right or tested my patience too much.

I very nearly put some more sunflower-esque flowers in the corners instead, but I didn't like the idea of looking myself into a more specific color palette in that way and I didn't like the idea of not being able to either "attach" them to the rest of the mandala or the fact that I couldn't think of a way to make them more vine-like on their own. Therefore, the sunflowers sat this one out. [And besides, they already had a small cameo last week!]

The leaves, fortunately, didn't give me much trouble. Those largest leaves that I put down first where probably the most difficult, but only because they were made using a criss-cross line method I observed in some mandala techniques on Pinterest, rather than other more typical ways I go about drawing leaves. They really weren't too bad, though. And I think they were the right choice because they kind of set up a shape foundation that directed a lot of the rest of the mandala.

Likewise, this may have been the easiest color scheme to decide apart from Day 1 because of the leaves. I set up with that green foundation, pushed it to be a little more teal/aqua, and then went with most pink flowers since that's complimentary, but then a soft blue for the...They're sort of lilies-of-the-valley but maybe not exactly. I think the blue I picked is a touch too dark for that, but since I was very sold on this off-white/cream background, I went with the deeper blue so the color would be more obvious.

I will admit I originally wanted to avoid pink or red roses, but I made the outermost flowers pink first, dared to touch the roses with a bit of a darker pink, and promptly threw that plan out the window. I did try to mix a little purple int here so they weren't a super-traditional rose pink, but I think I overblended it so that effect was mostly lost. 😅 But I did stand firmly behind no-red roses, though. Against many fibers in my Alice-in-Wonderland-loving being, but it felt too stereotypical and like a bad fit for the more aqua-green leaves, which I really didn't want to change at that point.

Yesterday and Day 2 are still gunning for my favorite, but this one isn't super far behind despite the choices I maybe would've handled a bit differently if I'd felt like I could afford more time to puzzle over them. If anything, I think this will be my favorite as a coloring page, if I do end up making coloring pages out of these. [Which yes, is an idea I've been toying with—I think I mentioned it on Day 1? Maybe?]

You Sparklers will have to tell me if that sounds like something worth bothering with. 😉

Let's see...I think that's everything I wanted to mention for today, so I should probably be getting on with that cross-posting now; I'll see you Sparklers tomorrow, hopefully at least a little earlier in the evening... 😅 🤞

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See the Prompt List

Artwork  © me, MysticSparklewings

Obscutober Concept Inspired by nikolas_tower

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[ryelleart]

I’ve been drawing for a long as I can remember

Some of my earliest memories of drawing were from when I was a young child, when I was trying to teach myself to draw love hearts by drawing a still life of my apple-shaped Polly Pocket play set, and doodling snowmen and flowers on my bedroom window with special window markers my mom got me

I never had any formal art education growing up, and the fact I became a decent artist even though I was self-taught became a point of pride for me

It wasn’t until I was in middle school that self doubt and insecurity started to imbed themselves into my mind and disperse that pride, bc that’s when I finally met other kids my age who were also artists like me

That didn’t really bother me at first, bc I was mostly just excited to meet other kids who liked drawing as much as I did, but then I began doing something that’s impacted my work and my self esteem for years to come

I compared my art to theirs

I looked at how much more technically proficient their art was in comparison to mine, how much more polished their drawings were in comparison to mine… how their art generally looked better than mine

That budding self consciousness didn’t stop me from drawing, I loved making art too much to let my newfound self doubt keep me from engaging with my favorite hobby, but it did shape how I’d see my own art from that point on

Fast forward to day two of my freshman year of art school, and my Drawing Foundations instructor had my class sit around the model stand in the center of the studio, where she had placed a bunch of random still life objects that she wanted us to draw (for clarification, she only wanted us to draw one object of our choosing, bc there were a lot of objects in front of us and we only had like 30 minutes to work)

As everyone else started to work, I took a moment to decide which object I’d choose to draw, which already put me on edge bc another insecurity I developed over the years was that I work slower than other artists, so the fact I didn’t start drawing immediately like everyone else didn’t make me feel very good

As such, my slow pacing was a big factor into deciding to draw the object that was directly in front of me: a small, plastic rocking horse for babies

When my instructor ended the exercise, she had us line up our drawings on the large window sill so we could all look at our collective work. I was a bit nervous bc I wasn’t fully satisfied with my rushed drawing, but I did what I was instructed to do

And when I took a step back to look at all the drawings side by side, I felt crushed

Bc while I was struggling to finish a drawing of a simple baby toy in time, everyone else made drawings of the various vases, flowers, fruits, and the lone longhorn skull that looked more complete (or “better”) than mine

Idk why my immediate next thought made such an impact on me, especially when it was never really something I worried about too much before that day, but after seeing all the drawings we made, I thought to myself, “my drawing is so juvenile compared to everyone else’s”

What exactly made it “juvenile”? Well, nowadays I couldn’t really tell you, but back then I would’ve said it was bc of 2 reasons:

My personal drawing style didn’t look as “mature” as everyone else’s (Idk what that means, but that’s how I felt at the time)

I was the only one in my whole class who chose to draw the rocking horse (the only object on the stand that had bright colors and was explicitly a toy for kids)

I spent the rest of the class feeling insecure about my childish rocking horse drawing, so much so that I almost had a breakdown some time afterwards (I’d go on to have at least two of those over the next four years, but for completely different reasons)

It was during that particular low moment, when I was on the brink of crying over something as insignificant as a dumb drawing of a toy, that I finally had enough. I realized that I wasn’t gonna survive art school if this was how I felt about every piece I made moving forward. And more importantly, I just didn’t want to keep feeling the way I did anymore; those were feelings I’ve had for 8 years at that point, and I was tired of feeling so bad about the art I made when I used to be so proud of it

So, at that moment, I made myself a promise: I was going to stop comparing my work to others

It wasn’t easy, especially early on, but I realized I needed to let go of my insecurities if I wanted to improve (in relation to both my art and my mental state), so… I tried

I tried to stop thinking about how I couldn’t execute a technique as well as someone else. I tried to remind myself that it’s ok that I couldn’t finish an in-class assignment while others could. I tried to explain to myself why it was okay if my art looked (or simply was) “juvenile”, especially if making the piece ultimately made me happy. I tried to think of all the things about my art that I did like, things that could only be found in my work and no one else’s

It took a while, but I’m proud to say that my efforts eventually paid off, and I was eventually able to stop comparing my art to other’s

And from then on, I felt so much better about the art I produced, whether it was for school or for myself

Being able to make art again without those insecurities weighing me down was incredible, and my newfound confidence kinda reflected in the quality of my work as well

The reason why I’m sharing all of this is bc I recently saw someone express very similar feelings of insecurity over their own art being “childish”, and I shared my own experiences and advice with them in hopes it’d help them feel better about their work. And after a bit, I realized that this person is most likely not they only one that’s currently dealing with these feelings of inadequacy. Maybe you, the artist who’s reading this right now, feel the same way about your own work. Or maybe you know an artist, either in person or online, who feels this way. Regardless, I figured that if I was able to help that one person I reached out to personally, then hopefully by publicly sharing my experience and the advice I gave to them, I can help someone else

Whether your work looks “worse” than that of other artists is inconsequential. Art isn’t a competition or a race, as no two artists will ever have the same experiences, pacing, preferences, or goals. There’s no need to compare yourself to anyone else bc no one else will ever make art the way you do, and that’s not a bad thing by any means

And most importantly, art is subjective. There’s no definitive scale for what’s “good” or “compelling” or even “childish”, there isn’t even a universal basis for what constitutes as “art” to begin with, so any judgements people make about art are entirely personal to the ones making said judgements

For example, my little cousin made a painting a few years ago, when she was still a child, and when I first saw it framed on their living room wall, I honestly thought it was an abstract piece by some professional artist. It wasn’t technically impressive in the sense that you couldn’t believe a child was skilled enough to make something like it, bc it was honestly just a bunch of scribbles and lines that you’ve probably seen in any other painting made by an inexperienced child. However, to me, the placement and weight of those scribbles and lines seemed so intentional, it gave me the impression it was a purposeful abstraction of a building made by an adult with artistic experience

Hell, in my third year of art school, I cited Leonid Afremov as one of the artists I admired/drew inspiration from during my final crit, and after I showed my professor one of Afremov’s paintings, he told me to my face that he thought I, an amateur artist, was a better painter than Afremov

In order for you to understand my disbelief and flattery at that statement, this is the painting I made that was being critiqued that day

And this is one of Afremov’s paintings that I showed my professor

Do I agree with my professor? Do I think I’m a better painter than Leonid Afremov?

No, absolutely not; do you see that painting??

But that’s kinda my point: I don’t think my work is anywhere near that of Afremov’s, but my professor saw something in my art, something “weird”, that he valued more than whatever he saw in Afremov’s work. Something not even I could see myself, even to this day

Simply put, while you might not think highly of your work, while you might believe it’s unimpressive or “childish” in comparison to the works of other/more experienced artists, other people won’t see your art the way you do. In fact, they might be impressed by it, and the idea that it’s “childish” might not even cross their minds. Or maybe it will, but it either won’t change how much they like it, or it’ll make them like it even more

If you feel as insecure about your art as I used to, I urge you to try. Any time you feel like your work isn’t as “mature”, polished, or impressive as another’s, try to remember that it’s ok if you can’t draw as well as more experienced artists, if you don’t understand color theory or lighting or perspective like they do, if you can’t emulate the same techniques they utilize in their work, or even if your work is “childish” in any way. Try to allow yourself to be proud of your art, regardless of what it is or how it looks, bc the fact you can even make art at all is an achievement that you should be proud of

So be proud of yourself

You deserve it

[ethernetmeep]

attended graduation. surprisingly cried less than i was anticipating, at least during the event. cried a bit afterwards, mix of realization & fear of not being able to get home safely. i did, luckily… my mother eventually came. wore a suit & tie, specifically the tie my friend gifted to me. heated up like a car in front of the sun. brought a drink since i knew if i didnt id maybe faint because of heat exhaustion. more likely nausea.

sat with an acquaintance, rambled to her. felt sick during most of the ceremony. almost puked, uh… three times. nerves hit like a brick wall. literally. nauseous because of nervousness. wanted to yell & holler but i dont have the voice for that. simple quiet ‘yay’ syllables had to suffice. brought sheldon & wiffle & chiquitito. gave chiquitito a bath before i left. got ready an hour or so early. sat outside & looked at birds in the meantime

in an ideal world i am very smart & funny & talented & talk to everyone & perfect. in an ideal world i dont get so worried my body physically shuts down. in an ideal world, i would be able to say something as simple as, “oh my gosh, i’m so happy for you! take care!” without bile festering. i try to live in this ideal world, try to be the best i can, but ive learned this is really really hard for me to do because frankly i am quite stupid. i know this is a haha funny joke 70% of the time but if i actually start gagging on nothing i know it’s probably a bad sign and i should stop overworking myself lest i actually do puke. it would not be very appealing to throw up in front of a plethora of my peers & their families. god…..

don’t even.. don’t.

[head in hands]

fine. FOR THE SAKE OF JOURNALISM! nothing else.

“I FUCKING— I HATE THEM. SO MUCH. I’M SORRY, I KNOW THATS MEAN—“

mother & other party member: “ITS NOT MEAN.”

[still reeling from remnants of stomach acid (as i did not eat anything in the morning when i took my meds which probably doesnt help this, although i didnt wanna eat then puke up whatever food it was i ate there either)] “I’M JUST— UGH! I’M SO FUCKING, I’M SO MAD.”

snippet of conversation. back seat with extra space just because. emotional & still nauseous. almost cry on the way home because of these weird things called human emotions, tears only well up; don’t actually fall. ramble to a man who knows a lot of people. miscellaneous conversations follow, like the one where i ask him if he can do anything about my favorite teacher being laid off. he says he’ll try. he…. how do i say this… knows… many individuals…. hes nice, slowly grown more used to his presence. i think if i cried with tears and snot long enough he’d be able to do many things, which is crazy & absurd but genuinely accurate. scarily accurate.

home, sitting outside & watching birds feed from the bird feeder. emptied it while i was gone. northern flicker, blue jay, blue-capped chickadee, common grackle, tufted titmouse… a wide variety. sprinkle some seeds on the ground for both squirrels & robins since they seem to not use the bird feeder much. robin right in front of me now, actually [was when i was typing this sentence]

i only made one note / doodle in my notebook during the event, but with words written & context applied its maybe better i don’t share it. saying…. heated words….. from a person that dislikes being rude unless someone is genuinely vile, is not as vague as one thinks they are. still, its pretty funny to imagine me being violent… slap thing was genuinely the first time i ever put my hands on someone like that

anyway, now theres three grackles near my bird feeder. two underneath. they’re so cute its almost upsetting, except its not. its quite nice to feel less alone

something something hi there something something oh hey i said everything now. i should probably lay down before my stomach gets worse

really happy i went, though. wouldn’t miss it for the world

[so-am-smyme9540]

Little Talks (a Lackadaisy fanfiction)

Hey ya'll, this has been sitting in my drafts, half finished, so I decided to just bite the bullet and finish it. I call Freckle Calvin in this, because it feels kind of weird to calling him by a nickname only Rocky amd sometimes Ivy use. Anyways, enjoy the fic!

It was one of those rare, calm days at the Little Daisy Café, soon to open into the Lackadaisy speakeasy. Calvin was in the garage, elbow deep in the car’s engine, fiddling with this and that, trying to fix that awful raddle it’s had lately. His older cousin, Rocky, sat a few feet away atop a couple boxes, nose deep in his journal. Everyone who knew him knew of his penchant for poetry, but only few knew that he also liked to draw in the journal, occasionally. Calvin knew, because of the doodles all over the letters he used to receive.

He tightened a loose bolt inside the hood, despite knowing that wouldn’t fix it, nothing was ever that simple. He moved his attention to the radiator, next. With his hands occupied and his mind on the topic of his cousin’s letters, he realized one of the only ones without a drawing was the one asking if Calvin had heard from his father. He hadn’t, he’d never even met the man. Not that he could tell Rocky, of course, what with him travelling all over the states, hopping from one job to the next, trying so hard to outrun their shared family secret.

Calvin knew it was none of his business, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little curious about Rocky’s father. His cousin had never really mentioned him, he didn’t talk much about either of his parents, really, but Calvin supposed he had a good excuse for at least one of them. Although, then again, he’d never asked about them. He looked up from the car’s innards, and over at Rocky, who seemed to have gone back to writing. He didn’t really want to break the comfortable silence, it was such a rare commodity when it came Rocky, but he was curious.

“Hey Rocky?” His cousin looked up with a soft hum, pen still in hand. “What’s your dad like?” Rocky hesitated, which was odd for him, though he tried to pretend he has simply thinking over his answer. Calvin knew him better than that.

“Well, he used to work on the railroad. I’m not sure if he does anymore.” Rocky replied, though it didn’t really answer the question. Calvin knew he hadn’t seen his father in ages, but surely it couldn’t be that hard to remember him.

“Okay, but what was he like?” Calvin pressed, now wiping the grease on his hands from the engine on a rag. “Was he nice?”

Rocky actually seemed to think about that, as he fiddled with the pen in his hands. It was a nervous habit he’d had since childhood, though sometimes he himself didn’t seem to realize he was even doing it. “I think so. He was never mean, at least. I didn’t really see him much, he worked all the time and I was at your house a lot.” They both knew the reason why. Thick silence filled the air, making Calvin wish he had never broken it in the first place. Such as with most times, he should’ve stayed quiet. Rocky, on the other hand, was never opposed to disturbing the peace. “What was your dad like?”

Calvin was caught a bit off guard, but he supposed it was only fair. His father was also somewhat of a sore subject, given their shared family secret, but the two of them had silently agreed somewhere along the way to pretend it didn’t exist. So that’s what Calvin would do. “Well, he was definitely nice, if a little distant. He made mom laugh.”

Rocky nodded, about to reply, when Calvin suddenly remembered a moment from his childhood, before Rocky was staying with them. “Oh, one time, he decided he would make dinner, to give Mom a break. He tried to make spaghetti, but he forgot to boil he water… so we ate sandwiches instead.”

Rocky laughed, setting his journal on the box beside him. “I bet he got an earful from Aunt Nina!”

Calvin laughed a little too, smiling at the memory. “Yeah, when she was done scolding him she gave him a pat on the head and thanked him for trying.”

They fell into another silence, but this time, it was much more comfortable. But there was still another question Calvin had wanted to ask for a while, but never knew how. Rocky seemed to be in a sharing mood, and he didn’t want to ruin that, but… Well, curiosity killed the cat, after all.

“…What was your mom like?”

At first, he didn’t think Rocky could answer. He almost hoped he wouldn’t, that he’d get mad at him, because staying quiet and taking it was always easier. But Rocky had other ideas. “Oh, Mama was an angel…” He said, a smile on his face despite what happened to her. “She would never say things like “Roark don’t do that,” or “Roark don’t you dare eat that.” He exaggerated an Irish accent, just to drive the point home. “No, she’d say stuff like “Eat this instead, Rocky! It tastes much better than dirt, and it won’t hurt your stomach.”

Calvin snickered a little at that, eating dirt was definitely something Rocky would do. “And,” he added, with a sort of side eye, “She didn’t get mad when I made her mudpies.”

“You have to admit, those were gross.” He tried to reason with his cousin.

“They were presents!”

“They got all over my bed!” Waking up covered in mud was… not pleasant, to say the least.

“Whatever. You’re just ungrateful.”

Calvin shook his head, letting another lull into the conversation. Ungrateful was a good word to describe him, even if he knew Rocky didn’t mean it seriously. At horrible as it was, he couldn’t help but feel jealousy creep into his thoughts. Definitely ungrateful, Rocky’s mom was dead, what did he have to be jealous for? If anyone, Rocky should’ve been jealous! But he wasn’t. He never was. Not even when-

“Freckle?” His eyes snapped up, meeting Rocky’s concerned blue ones. “You good?” He asked, climbing off the boxes, journal long forgotten.

“Yeah, yeah, I just…” He hesitated, looking back into the car’s engine to avoid his cousin’s concerned gaze. “Your mom sounds great.”

Rocky didn’t smile, he looked down at his hands, closing them into fists. “She was. It’s honestly kind of difficult to imagine her and Nina being sisters. Though I’m sort of- terrified, because I think I’m starting to forget her.” His fist tightened, ever so slightly. Calvin looked back at him, feeling it safe to do so. “Sometimes I… I really have to think, about what she looked like. I-I can’t even remember what she sounds like anymore!” His voiced raised in desperation, his fists opening back up. “…I don’t want to forget..”

Calvin frowned, and he opened his mouth to answer, when the trapdoor suddenly opened. “Hey Rocky?” Zib’s head pocked in, “we’re on stage in 30 minutes, the guys want to practice some.”

“Oh, right!” Rocky’s demeanor suddenly went right back to normal, as if he’d never said anything. Calvin knew him better than that. “Sorry, I’m coming!”

————————————————————————————————

Rocky walked through the now dark garage, violin case in hand, tired from a successful night at the Lackadaisy. Well, successful by their standards. He opened the car door, ready to put up his violin and collapse into the seat, when he spotted a note admits his belongings. Curious, he picked it up.

‘I know you won’t forget. But if it makes you feel better, Mom said she sounded like Mary Pickford. -Calvin’

Under the note, was a small picture of his mother, before she got sick and looked so tired all the time. Rocky smiled, not one of his too wide, faked smiles, but a genuine, grateful smile. He tucked the picture and note inside his violin case, and went to bed knowing he had the greatest cousin in St. Louis.

[krash-8]

talk shop tuesday! what do you think has shaped your current artstyle? has it derived from a certain media/fandom or came naturally? what's your favourite thing about your artstyle*?

*(the most important question)

hi vryfmi!!!! sorry I keep forgetting to answer my asks 😔😔

ok hmmm id say my style now definitely reaches back all the way to big nate as a kid lol, that's so far back but I cannot deny it. my simple doodles have spawned from that and there will never be any escape as long as my style evolves. it's still there today.

I also was inspired by cartoony comic books in general, 2d animated stuff like rottmnt, and 3d animated stuff with the hella cool texture like spiderverse !! definitely a LOT of general observation that worked it's way into my art too, thanks all you random artists I saw out of nowhere. I unconsciously put that stuff together and then built off of that :3 lots of experimentation

(my style is a bit different traditionally actually, I had to change my style once I started doing more digital to rely less on sketchy lines and paper texture to save me lol. but as of rn my style is pretty matched up on both mediums, except for a bit of a traditional advantage in sketching!!!)

ok ok the last part uhhhh I guess I like my faces I draw :] I try and make them really expressive and I'm pretty proud of my ability to do that, or at least I hope I do that lol, but im proud of my faces and I hope I get even better than i am now !! :33

yea here's my latest, koda and asher my little guys

tysm for the askkkk

[gible-love-nibles-archive]

Eternal Diva Fic (Part 13)

This is where all the Softness (tm) is folks; this is the "Clare is indulging" part lmao. Then again, this entire section of the story is me indulging. This entire fic is me indulging. You signed up for this at this point.

No warnings here, pretty sure! Just a nice soft penultimate chapter :]

Word Count: 1.6k / Previous / Next

“What are you up to?”

I jerked in surprise. It was Descole again, leaning on the doorway.

It had been a couple of days.  At least that was what I guessed.  Time was hard to gauge when there weren’t any windows, and I was lousy at keeping track of time anyway.  

Despite Descole’s advice, I had barely gotten any sleep.  Believe me, I tried.  But my eyes wouldn’t stay closed or I couldn’t settle down.  So most of the time, I took out my notebook and just doodled away, hoping that would help.

“Drawing,” I said simply. “Can’t sleep.”

"Again?" was all he said as he came in. It didn't sound accusatory, but I took it that way.

"I've been trying to sleep, alright? It's just been with... everything! All of this!" I let out a short sigh. "I know that's not your fault, but..." I trailed off.

The masked man just stared at me. I might've been seeing things... but he looked a bit sullen.

"I'm not going to force you to sleep. If you can't, you can't. Simple as that."

There was a stretch of silence. Neither of us moved (not that I could move much anyway).

I could tell Descole didn't want to leave just yet. He had been doing that quite a bit, finding random things to talk about to stretch out these visiting times. I didn't really get why; none of it seemed useful to him at all.

“Could I see what you’re drawing?” He finally settled on that as he sat and settled on the other side of the bed.

I blinked. "You actually wanna see my art?"

"It's something you're passionate about, no? You carried a notebook with you to an opera house of all places, and you're fast at it. How long have you been drawing?"

"All my life, basically? It's just something I've always done."

"Fascinating..."

“…I… guess you can look. If you really want to.” I passed the notebook over to him.  I didn't have anything to hide; it wasn’t like there was anything embarrassing or weird in there. “Just don’t expect to be amazed or anything.”

He thumbed through my notebook quietly.  He just made quirky little expressions at my work and didn't say anything. After a little while of flipping back and forth— enough to almost make me nervous— he handed it back.

“Hm.  You were right.  I wasn’t amazed.”

“Gee, thanks—”

“Because there was nothing of me in there.”

I gawked at him for a moment. “Really? That's your only takeaway?”

“The only negative takeaway. Your style is charming and extremely expressive, your linework and handwriting is neat, and you somehow do it so quickly. I'm very impressed, dear."

"Wait, you... like it? Like, really you like it? You're not pulling my leg here?"

His smile softened. "Absolutely." But that softness went away fast for slyness. "But! If you want my opinion, your posing could use improvement."

"And drawing you will help with that. Totally not because you want free art of yourself." I couldn’t help but snort. “No thanks.  Your hat looks awful to draw.” I pushed it down over his mask so it would cover his eyes.  He chuckled as he fixed it.

“I could model for you, if that would help.” His smile may have been smug, but he was serious.

“I’m sure you have better things to do than be my model.”

“No, my schedule’s all free now with Ambrosia discovered. I'm very open and very available.”

“Well, I heard there’s another lost city out there that I’m sure would be a real head-scratcher for you.  They’re calling it Atlantis.”

“You--!” He playfully shoved me a bit (though it was more of a nudge), and we both couldn’t stop from cracking up.

~

Another random day, I couldn’t sleep again and Descole visited again.

“Is there anything that will help you sleep better?  You’re really starting to worry me.”

Asking the masked man why he was fretting over me so much never got me a straight answer.  I just dropped it after a while.  

“I dunno.  Time’s just… weird down here.” I was about to say it wasn’t that bad, but I swallowed it.  Of course it was bad; if I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t healing (or at least healing with nothing else happening).

He hummed for a bit, then seemed to get an idea. “When I was a boy, my mother used to read me a bedtime story every night she could.  I was out cold right as she finished.  Maybe the same will work for you.  Besides, it must be dreadfully boring here with only one thing to do.”

“...You have got to have something better to do than read me a bedtime story.”

"Please, dash your concerns.  You’re my guest; of course you’re going to take up my time. I'm not going to just leave you alone like some caged animal.  And besides… I want to.  So, do you want to hear a story or not?"

I was taken aback a bit.  He wanted to, genuinely? “Um… sure.  Why not?”

A warm smile slid onto his face. “Thank you, dear.”

I liked seeing that smile. Certainly better than... all that on top of the robot.

He went over to a little bookshelf I hadn’t noticed in the room before.  He dragged his finger across the spines, looking for just the right one. He gingerly pulled out a smaller book. “Ah, here it is.”

The cover was mainly blue with a blonde boy standing on the moon with yellow stars in the night sky.  The title:

“The Little Prince?”

“Have you read it before?”

“I’ve heard of it.  I’ve always wanted to read it, but I could never find it anywhere.”

Descole’s smile grew wider. “Well then, I’m honored to be the one introducing it to you.”

And that was how the next few days went: Descole would sit on my bed, reading The Little Prince.  He had a voice ready for every character, and it always got a laugh out of me. 

Eventually, I’d always fall asleep (most likely leaning on him because I peered over his shoulder to read the words or look at the pictures).  He didn’t leave me settled there forever (or maybe even very long), as every time I woke up, he was gone.

~

"Hey, Descole?"

"Hm? Yes?"

We had just finished a reading of The Little Prince, and the masked man looked exhausted. From context clues, it seemed like he was working on another plan for some ancient site or city or what-have-you.

I figured he wasn't going to tell me anything about it, so I didn't say a word. I was probably going to get roped into it somehow anyway, knowing my luck.

But something had been nagging at me this whole time, nibbling at me. I felt like if I didn't get it out soon, I was going to explode. So... might as well while we were both still awake.

"...How do I say this...?"

"Really, is it that bad?"

Ok sir, this attitude was not helping. "N-No, it's not bad! It's-- the opposite of bad actually."

"And you're having this much trouble getting it out?"

I sighed, and then steeled myself, gripping my blanket. "I just... wanted to say: your voice on top of the Detragan was... really nice...?"

Silence. You could've heard a pin drop.

...Why had I said that? Why did I say that?

Augh god, he was going to be just insufferable now! He was never going to let me hear the end of it!

But, to my surprise... it was still quiet. I hazarded a look at him.

Descole looked stunned. He was staring right through me, all sorts of gears and cogs turning in his head. The great mastermind Jean Descole looked... flustered.

Once he noticed me staring, he puffed up like a startled cat and pretended to cough into his sleeve. For a split second, it looked like his cheeks were flushed. But I wasn't sure.

He stammered. "Yours was... as well."

Silence once more. After a few seconds that felt like a few hours, Descole suddenly darted for the door, not saying a word.

"H-Hey!" was all I could get out before the door shut. I let out a short sigh. "Bad idea. Of course it was."

~

I settled into some kind of rhythm eventually: eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner; find some way to pass the time in between meals with or without Descole around; and once night came along, listen to him read. 

Every meal was cooked by Raymond, though Descole sometimes told me that I ate some of his cooking offhandedly.  I always told Descole that I could tell which parts he cooked: the worst-tasting part.  It was just me teasing him, and he recognized that.  Honestly, I couldn’t tell which parts he cooked, if any at all.

The masked man and I had pretty easy conversations at the start, but things started to get more… awkward as time went on.  Genuine compliments that caught either of us off-guard, and then Descole would hurriedly excuse himself and leave.  Words way too sweet for their own good.  Eventually, we started talking less and less. 

After we finished The Little Prince, he didn’t pick up another book for us to read. He'd just hand me one he'd thought I liked and hurried off again.

It felt… hollowing.  I wanted to say something about it, but I couldn’t just force him to talk if he didn’t want to.

Raymond reassured me during all this. “He’s… lost a lot, lass.  I suppose he’s just steeling himself for when you leave.  He’s enjoyed your company, and he’s preparing himself for when it’s all over.”

It… didn’t make me feel better.

Eventually, I was finally feeling better and could move about the sub.  Which of course, meant it was time for me to leave.

[elv-arts]

I have escaped from the hospital after my first round of chemo for my lymphoma! Very glad to be back in the peace and quiet of my own home, with my family and pets around me. But the cancer ward I'm being treated on is a really nice one for teens and young adults that has great support resources and also a common area for patients where they have a little kitchen area, craft area, tv and games. So it's not been too bad all things considered and I've still been able to do some creative stuff while being in hospital. Here's all the stuff I've drawn and made while in hospital! Despite some treatment side effects, I've overall been feeling better than I did before i went to hospital, so I've been feeling more creative again. So I might actually end up being more active here for a bit at least!

[ID: Image 1 - A sketchbook page of little fine liner doodles. At the top is written "Idk what to draw. Weird times." The doodles are as follows: A spikey cartoon explosion shape. A simple oval creature with four little stick legs, dot eyes, and a little curl on its head. Two little smiling rain frogs. Wheatley from portal squinting. A smiling furry wolf wearing a collar. My fursona sitting in a hospital bed, wearing a hospital gown and oxygen mask, hooked up to an IV drip, giving a thumbs up. My fursona has a round cat-like face with freckle-like spots, big long stripey ears sticking out the sides of their head, little horns and long hair with the sides short.

Image 2 - a sketchbook page with two pencil doodles of my fursona. In both drawings they are wearing a nose cannula and pyjamas with a fluffy hoodie. The first drawing is a bust with them looking up and to the side, and the second is of them reclining with their hands behind their head and legs crossed, eyes closed with a little smile, looking relaxed.

Image 3 - a sketchbook page with a drawing of my fursona. My fursona is drawn in green felt tip from the hips up without clothes, with raised eyebrows, wide blank round eyes and no mouth, posed as though startled. Over the whole page, centred around their face and chest is a spikey cartoon explosion shape drawn in bright green highlighter.

Image 4 - a sketchbook page with a drawing of a cartoon moth person. They have a round white face with big shiny eyes, pink blush, big yellow feather-like antenna, and lots of purple fluff around their neck like a mane. They have four arms and two legs and are wearing a chunky pink and purple cardigan with a patch on one elbow, a short yellow skirt and purple boots. Their wings are white with purple cloud-like shapes and yellow spots and stars. At the bottom of the page is pink washi tape with clouds and hearts, and at the side is purple washi tape with silver moon and stars.

Image 5 - A cast resin ghost and pair of skull earrings. The ghost is orange at the top and black at the bottom, with a little bit of green glitter visible in it. The skull earrings are toxic sludge green with bits of gold leaf in them.

Image 6 - A work in progress beige drawstring bag with a moth, a beetle and an isopod drawn on it in dark blue. It would be symmetrical if the isopod was mirrored on the other side. End ID]