#at least at this point i've learned to be less sensitive about it. laugh it off and stand my ground.

[moe-broey]

Layibg flat on my back in my epic new green as fuck flannel (soft) heavily modified hoodie (LARGE) beat up stompy boots on the couch singung LOUDLY to the entirety of Black Parade has fixed me. Btw.

[andsheoverthinks]

i am so tired of how easily people slip into anti-Blackness to defend their arguments

recently (always tbh but also recently) i've been seeing a lot of disdain circulating for African Americans, disappointedly but not surprisingly from a lot of non-white people as well.

[f appropriating other cultures is so repugnant to you... why do you have a kpop profile pic... but i digress]

specifically this is about the Cleopatra tv show? casting that people are discussing right now, it's really highlighted how Black people, especially African Americans, aren't allowed to do anything a little bit cringe without racist, violent blowback. Cleopatra has been played by many many actresses, most of whom aren't of Greek or Egyptian descent. So it's weird that people are acting like Black people are uniquely horrible and ignorant for the casting of a Black woman as Cleopatra, when many castings have not been historically accurate.

Liz Taylor was British-American, Vivien Leigh was British, Monica Bellucci and Sophia Italian... you get the point. and yet people aren't hurling racist slurs at white people (there are none) for casting Cleopatra as non-Greek/Egyptian all these years. if you're upset about this particular casting, you can at least be civil with your discussions. but, no, it's easiest to call us dirty, ignorant n******s because half the time people are just waiting for an excuse.

let me explain something to you, gently. a lot of people ask, well, African Americans and Caribbeans were sold from West African countries like Ghana and Nigeria, why don't they go appropriate those countries.

the answer's quite simple. we don't learn anything about West Africa in school.

laugh break, haha, dumb USAmericans.

okay, back to business. in the U.S., we learn a very short list of non-European civilizations: Mesopotamia, China, and Egypt. Maybe one line on Mali if you're lucky. the school system here is very sensitive to teaching anything that triggers 'white guilt' aka anything more than a cursory glance at anything concerning Black people and our history, which is deemed as unimportant. you can say we were obviously enslaved from West African countries so we should learn about those cultures, but... we don't speak our old languages, save for some loanwords like 'duppy' instead of 'ghost' in Caribbean vernacular and such, we don't eat our old foods, wear our traditional clothes... we don't even know what they were, what ethnic group(s) we would have belonged to. we're not immigrants in that sense that we have a home country, a definite place of origin. do you know what it's like to feel that so much of your identity is rootless? do you know how endless that emptiness is?

so when these three non-European civilizations were laid out before us, we latched onto the closest one, and ran a little too far with it.

in fact, my generation is less dependent on Egypt as a sort of crutch; this is more of an older people thing. we have healed enough to be able to look within.

this is not a sob story. this is just a story of how we got here, and how this construction of the world -- disregarding the effects of white supremacy and racial trauma while enacting racist behavior and showing incredible fluency with white supremacist imagery and rhetoric -- is fundamentally flawed.

this is just a sample of the racist tweets on the actress's twitter. i have chosen not to include the images that titilate these people but they are equally horrible, depicting violence against Black people.

in fact, i should stop calling this pathological behavior pattern 'white supremacy' at this point because a lot of people are actually getting off is to Arab slavery. the parallels between misogyny and anti-Blackness are so interesting -- misogynists are addicted to the ego boost of subjugating women, racists are addicted to the ego boost of subjugating Blacks. yes, your ancestors spearheaded an appallingly brutal slave trade of African people which lasted thirteen centuries and is continues to this day (yes, Black people are still being enslaved in your countries but you're butthurt over a tv show so it's time to go ballistic -- by the way white people were also kidnapped and sold but since the rise of European imperialism they'd been able to shed that 'shame'), even more evil than the triangular trade and there are fewer survivors because of the reproductive control methods (read, violent sterilization). source1 source2. you people spouting this nonsense because of a tv show are just as racist as the white people over here, possibly worse. do you feel edgy villain enough now? happy?!

and by the way, 'threatening' to cast white actors as Harriet Tubman or Martin Luther King doesn't hurt us the way that Cleopatra not looking white enough seems to emotionally wound you, we are used to being minimized and erased for our contributions to society and are not thin-skinned like the losers complaining about this like it's the worst thing in their lives.

Is Afro-centerism inaccurate? Probably. Is it fearmongering to position it as equivalent to white supremacy? Absolutely.

[Pop quiz: Which ideology enslaved, tortured, raped, killed, and colonized across many centuries?]

Does calling us n******s and invoking 4chan 'we wuz kangz' (yes there was a we wuz kangz meme but i'm not reposting their childish shit on my blog) arguments make you sound like anything other than a whiny child? No. Just say you don't like the casting like a grown-up.

Why doesn't Hollywood produce West Africa period pieces in order to cast more Black actors instead? Now there's an actually productive question. Thank you. Actually, next they should do a long, high budget docudrama on the Arab slave trade so you can feel really uncomfortable.

[gaymershigh]

hulloh! I've only been on tumblr for a few hours, and me and my friend already love your work! Is it ok if I request some TWST parent scenarios with Riddle,Lilia,Sebek,Vil and Floyd? If so, thanks! Also once again, me and my freind love ur works alot!

Of course! Since there's no s/o really mentioned in here but people might still want to be included, s/o will be mentioned just a tiny bit (the kids being biological or adopted is up to you since I want to make the s/o gender neutral.) Also, thanks a lot! I'm still and probably be forever an amateur writer so this means a lot to me 🥺💞💞

Triggers: None

Parents au: Riddle, Lilia, Sebek, Vil and Floyd edition!

From what we've seen, his parents are not the best role models like, at all. They were too strict, pressuring him and treating him like a trophy child. However, he will definitely not treat his child like that at all after Ace slapped him with reality.

He will be a bit strict, having some rules and will scold them if they did something wrong but not as scold them the way his mother does. He won't raise his voice at them, showing them the right path after he scolded them. He will give them freedom and try his best to not make his children suffer the same thing he did, especially when he's the source of the pain.

Though, he might accidentally adapt some things from his mother and project her ways to his children, being completely not self aware. If you're his s/o, please teach him the baby steps to avoid this from this occurring too often.

Unfortunately, having a good life and children won't make his short temper extend. This is the only reason why he doesn't spoil them too much, they might act entitled and may be too late to change them back to the innocent infant they were back then. He tries very hard to control his temper if his children unintentionally knock furniture over or damage something. He just needs a few minutes alone, everything will be back to normal later.

There was one time where his child's birthday was near and decided to bake a cake from scratch, without any assistance from Trey nor his s/o. Thinking he could do it and don't want anyone to underestimate him. He was planning to make a burnt strawberry cheesecake and did the mistake of leaving the oven on for an hour for 400 degrees fahrenheit. The cake went on fire but it tasted very good when he for some reason tasted it. Nobody knew about the incident and the cake was actually used for its purpose. Yay for him, I guess.

He was already pretty outdated in trends when he was in his teens so do expect him to be like a middle aged soccer mom on Facebook every time his children send him memes or something like that. If he does even use any sort of social media and stumbled upon a 'funny' minion meme or something, he will definitely send it to the family group chat. He will make those 5th grade types of edits with one of the family pictures with a "I love my family". It's funny but still wholesome so don't laugh at him.

There is no alternate universe where Lilia isn't a good dad. Silver and his other wards are already an amazing example of how amazing of a parent he is! He has gained a bunch of experience so he got this in the bag.

Though, his way of taking care of children might be different from how it is now. Times have changed, there are probably some new and uncomplicated objects or toys to entertain the baby or child. He would love to go on a shopping trip to buy some fascinating kids toys he found in the toy store. Please stop him from buying everything in there because it looks "intriguing".

If you're his s/o, you're very lucky since if you have a baby who always cries at three in the morning or a kid who really have trouble sleeping, Lilia will sing a lullaby and they'll doze off in any second. He can wake up easily or he'll just always stay up playing his games so you don't even need to break a sweat in this situation.

His kids or any kid in general loves him lots. He will always tell his tales anywhere, anytime. If the kids ask him for a story to tell, he will always have a new one ready to tell. They also make amazing bedtime stories! It can be funny little innocent stories like his funny experiences taking care of his three wards to actual battles he went through. Any story is a good story.

He really got along with his child when they're young and innocent but when they get into their teenage years, oh boy. He will unintentionally embarrasses them but their friends won't mind. If anything, they will love him being around as he's always keeping up with the games and trends, not being a fat, shirtless creepy dad. One of the positive parts about his child growing up is that he can play video games with him just like he did with Silver! Reliving the nice memories.

He would always try to cook something in any opportunity he gets and of course, he gets stopped by either s/o or his own children. Yes, they have to go through the hard way to realize their father is garbage at cooking. He would always try to cook some food everytime something good has happen in order to celebrate but most of the times, he just wants to cook something for them to show how much he loves them. They really made him happy, he finally have a biological/adopted offspring to watch growing up (again).

Sebek unfortunately doesn't have that much time to spend time with his children due to being Malleus' trusted escort. Of course, when he does have free time and is not exhausted he will use the opportunity to spend it with his adorable younglings.

Knowing him, he still loves and worships Malleus but he's no longer his only priority in life when he finally has a life of his own other than just being Malleus' bodyguard. He will ramble and tell so many stories about his young master to his kids. They will be infatuated but will later complain about how everything is just "Malleus this, Malleus that". He will get a bit upset about that comment, so he will only talk about Malleus stories for 3 days a week.

He only has focused his life on guarding Malleus and advancing himself on magic and education. Now that he's now an actual father, this is a new chapter in his life and he's not prepared at all. He will seek Lilia for guidance and of course, Lilia being Lilia will rope him to doing something absolutely ridiculous and he would of course, woefully fall for it. Pretty surprising that no matter how much he has fallen for his teacher's trap, he still seeks him for advice.

His kids will definitely learn how to read fast. He loves reading and he really wants his kids to appreciate it too. He was about to immediately give them the books that have old and poetic language without even knowing what the alphabet was. Lilia put a stop to this and you couldn't even bear seeing how sad he looked because he needs to wait for a few years for him to have little reading buddies. Oh well, it doesn't matter now. He will teach them how to read and appreciate the art of reading no matter how long it takes.

He has exposed his children to a bunch of Malleus propaganda so there's no surprise if the children become just like him. Loud screaming, Malleus worshipping, smart but naive and other things Sebek has. If you're his s/o, please keep the children in check as they might cause problems to the neighbors. As this might be troublesome, it's at least entertaining experience I suppose.

Just like Sebek, he has even less time to spend with his kids as he always has modeling, acting and other businesses to attend. He's probably going to be exhausted when he comes back as well. Though, of course he's going to try to use all his energy to talk to his children till he can no longer open his eyes anymore. He prefers an s/o that is a stay-in mom/dad so the children won't feel lonely while he's gone.

They're definitely gonna grow up just like him. A model, actor, media influencer, or the combination of the three and it's not a bad thing. If they're going on the same route as him, he will teach them in a strict but still in a somewhat caring manner as he has learned a lot from his experience of the VDC boot camp and the overblot incident. He will only show his threatening side if they start to misbehave like those ADeuce rats.

Just because they are his children, doesn't mean they get a free pass if they intentionally neglect or not doing their best at all times, especially when it comes to appearance. He's known to be a neat-freak and a very hard worker to the point it's concerning. He will scold them if more than two pimples pop up on their face but he knows when to cross the line. He learned this easier if their child is rather sensitive and just emotionally fragile in general but they still need to take care of themselves.

He expects his children to follow his footsteps when it comes to where they're schooling. He wants them to enter a prestigious school like he did for his reputation and for the sake of his children's future. This is optional (not really) but he also hopes his children to enter Pomefiore as well and take the dorm head title at least the second week they enroll in this school. If they were sorted to a different dorm, they still want them to have a role in their dorm or in the school at all.

He begs to the Great Seven that paparazzi or desperate losers obsessing over him don't intrude into his personal life, especially if it's about his family. The last thing he wants to witness is his family in pain or being uncomfortable for their whole life. He usually avoids or straight up tells the interviewer that he's not comfortable answering questions when they're going too personal when it's about questions of his family.

You cannot feel anymore blessed when you see his smiling face when he received news about having a vacation. He can finally spend more time with his wonderful kids he's raising with all his heart. He will tell them about some funny incidents in the studio while he was involved in some modeling gig or he will bring them to a private island with gorgeous scenery for both of them to enjoy. Of course, his children's happy faces are more beautiful than the island.

Floyd is seen to be very warm and sweet despite having a very intimidating height. Naturally, he's not going to be ruthless and act the same when it's with his children because it's his children of course, family is precious to him. He has a lot of energy even after a long shift at Mostro Lounge, so he will always spend a lot of time with his kids.

He's physically affectionate so expect him to be always close and wrapping his arms around his children at almost all times. He'll usually let them sit on his lap when they watch TV or sleep with them if they can't go back to sleep because of a nightmare. Headpats are needed, especially if the kids did something good or got good news. Not saying he won't give any headpats if something bad happens, maybe headpats of sympathy perhaps.

He's very patient when it's with his children because he doesn't want his children to fear him when they grow up. If anything, the s/o have to do the scolding to avoid him snapping or anything like the sort. They rarely do anything bad though, since they're aware of how their dad acts from how he treats a dirty burglar who once tried to break in.

Since he's usually very active and hates just standing around, he expects his children to be just like him. It's never boring if your dad is Floyd as he always has something really entertaining to do at most times. If you're his s/o, you have the free entrance to see an eel man dancing around with his kids or playing some basketball either inside or preferably in the backyard. He tried showing the art of parkour but is stopped due to it being very risky. He sulked about this but oh well, once they're ten, they have no choice but to learn it!

Floyd is an amazing cook and he sometimes lets his children be involved like chopping some vegetables or stirring the macaroni. He sometimes teaches them the perfect way of doing it or let's them try doing their own meal with his assistance. There was one time they decided to make one of the weirdest food combinations and try to eat it, he won and ate it all as it was too gross for the kids to eat it. It's not gonna be a surprise if everyone in this household is an expert cook when Floyd is here.

If possible, he really wants to bring his kids at work no matter how troublesome they could get. If Azul has a "bring your kids to work" day (which I doubt of him doing), he's going to bring all his children no matter how many he has. If there's no day like that, who cares! He's bringing his kids anyway and nobody's stopping him. Sure, he will get scolded by Azul but if that's the only thing stopping him then he'll take his chances.

I don't if it's still Christmas or not since I don't celebrate it but if it's still is, Merry Christmas! 🎉 I'll just say this is a Christmas gift for you and your friend, Mouaietaru! Especially for that Jamil and Silver fanfic that you made. It's very good, keep up the fantastic work! ✨✨✨

-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

[daughterofzagreus]

The Astrological Signs of "Avatar: The Last Airbender" characters

Part 1 - Team Avatar

♎ Aang - Libra

Libra is an air sign and Aang is an airbender. More than that, though, Libra (represented by the scales) is the sign of harmony and balance. As the Avatar, restoring and maintaining balance is Aang's primary duty. Aside from all that symbolism though, Aang's personality is a lot like a Libra.

Libra is the opposite compliment to Aries, a war sign. Libra don't really like discord (at least, they don't like to be IN the discord and chaos). They're lovers, not fighters, so they tend to be peacekeepers. This is Aang to a T. Aang is not only one of the youngest characters in the show (and therefore, the most likely to be uncomfortable with violence), but he is also a monk, raised by other peaceful monks.

He values peace and all life. Even his fighting styles are evasive and are more about using an opponent's strength against them, rather than attacking. It's something that is brought up in the Book 2 episode "Bitter Work", when Aang has trouble learning earthbending from Toph. Libras (depending on the rest of their chart, of course) often tend to respond to conflict in a similar manner, by being avoidant.

You see the pacifist in Aang anytime he needs to mediate a conflict. Examples include "The Great Divide" in Book 1, where Aang has to mediate between the two tribes (as well as Sokka and Katara). He does so by telling them that "Harsh words won't solve anything. Action will". Of course, when that doesn't work, he just lies and makes up the alternative story of WeiJin and JinWei. I don't think Aang is a big fan of lies, but it was for the sake of peace, a means to an end. Very Libra.

Another thing that makes Aang a Libra is the fact that 1) Libra is ruled by Venus and 2) Libra rules the 7th house, which is essentially relationships. Aang's relationships (platonic and romantic) mean EVERYTHING to him, and there's a reason why putting one of his loved ones in danger is initially the only way to activate the Avatar state. He's a very friendly, charming and loving kid (like most Libras) and he's the first one from team Avatar who believes they can make it through the secret tunnel, because of how strongly he believes in his love for Katara. The final point is Aang's reluctance (or sometimes downright refusal) to cause harm to others unless absolutely necessary. While others use violence, Aang is more likely to want to befriend his enemies, and that's actually a good thing. It's Libra's superpower.

♋ Katara - Cancer

Cancer is a water sign that is ruled by the moon, and Katara is a (very powerful) waterbender who draws her powers from the moon. In astrology, water signs are known for being on the emotional side. And with Cancer's ruling planet being the moon (the planet of emotions and also the celestial body that pushes and pulls the tides), Cancers are known to be so emotional, that they're often just archetyped by it. Katara is similarly emotional (see the Book 3 episode "Ember Island Players"). However, Katara being so in touch with her emotions also makes her extremely emotionally intelligent. Like Cancers and most other water signs, her heightened sensitivity allows her to almost psychically sense how others are feeling, and to know how exactly to respond to and comfort them. There's a reason why Katara has such great chemistry (when it comes to her one-on-one conversations) with so many people (Aang, Haru, Jet, Zuko, Toph). Her emotional intelligence also makes her very mature for her age and allow her to see things clearer than others, or to foresee things that others don't.

Cancers are often either family oriented, or they love and value their home (this can either be their childhood home, current home, or the city, country or culture that they came from). This applies with Katara. As a waterbender, being from the water tribes is a big part of who she is, and she has a deep love for her culture. We see how being the only waterbender in the South Pole and having no one to show her the ways of waterbending saddens her, and how happy she is to hear that Hama is willing to teach her (the only other waterbender from the Southern water tribes that Katara has ever met).

With regards to Katara being mature for her age, she's also very motherly. The Book 3 episode "The Runaway" (as well as most of her interactions with Toph) demonstrates this. The moon (which rules Cancer) is The Mother in astrology, and so most Cancers have a significant relationship with motherhood. Katara was very close to her late mother and her death still affects her.

Following the death of her mother, Katara has basically had to become everyone else's mother and hold things together. You see this as well (in a more positive light) in the Book 2 episode "The Desert". In this episode, Appa is missing, Aang is too upset to think or act clearly, Toph can't see properly because of the sand and Sokka is high off cactus juice. Katara is the one that is keeping everything together in this episode.

On the downside, Katara's mothering can turn to nagging sometimes, but I don't blame her. She's a child that's had to grow up way too fast. She has a lot of pressure on her. With water, that pressure can build up, until it bursts like a dam wall (which it's likely to do). It's the combination of this, as well as Katara's strong and fearless sense of right and wrong that lead to those cataclysmic outbursts that both Katara and water signs are sometimes known for.

♋♐Sokka - Cancer sun, but with a lot of Sagittarius aspects in the birth chart

Okay, let's start with the Sagittarius side of things. There are a lot of elements of the Sag personality in Sokka. For one thing, luck. Not only does he manage to survive (and thrive) in the entire series WITHOUT any bending powers, but that boomerang ALWAYS comes back! That's some Jupiter-luck energy if I've ever seen it.

Sokka was originally going to be a more serious character, but the voice actor decided to improvise and add some of his own humor to the role, which created the Sokka that we know and love now. I mention this because the voice actor (Jack De Sena) is a Sagittarius. Sokka has the kind of personality that provides humor in difficult times and can lighten up the sometimes very heavy atmosphere in the group. He doesn't just make people laugh, he likes to laugh as well (at his own jokes and even at his enemy's jokes). In the book 3 episode "The Ember Island Players", heeven goes to the effort of getting Suki to sneak him backstage, so he could give the actor playing himself some tips and extra jokes (and low and behold, the crowd actually laughs at them). In his words, he's "just a guy who loves comedy". In fact, I think he's one of the only ones there who just decides to kick his feet up and enjoy the show (by basically turning the situation into a date night for him and Suki). Sagittarians love to laugh and make people laugh. They're optimists who like to have a good time, and are likely to be the make-lemonade-out-of-lemons type.

He's also one of the smartest and most competent characters on the show. He has excellent problem solving skills, and isn't afraid to look at things through a different angle and try new things to expand his worldview and knowledge. This is relevant, as Sag rules the 9th house which includes, amoung other things, higher learning, truth and knowledge. He can be a bit tactless and insensitive...a little slick at the mouth, but it's largely ignored by others, as he is likeable and funny enough for others to let it go. That's quite a Sag trait.

The Cancerian part of Sokka's personality is less pronounced, but it's there. He's VERY protective of his loved ones, even before the situation with Princess Yue. He is family oriented in that he admires his dad and the traditions and customs of the water tribes. He loves and is just as proud of his culture and home life as Katara is, but just in a different way. He also always looks out for the other members of team Avatar. He can tell when a member of the team needs support and immediately jumps to action (for example, the way he immediately grabs Toph's hand to guide her in "The Serpent's Pass", in "The Desert" and on the air ships during the final battle in the series finale). He's also very loving and protective of his sister, despite how often they fight. Also, quiet as it's kept, Cancers are one of the funniest signs in the zodiac.

♉♈Toph - Taurus sun, but with a lot of Aries aspects in the birth chart

Let's start with the Taurus aspects. Taurus is not just an earth sign, it's FIXED earth. It embodies the firm stance and hardheadness of not just Toph, but earthbenders in general. Tauruses are very stubborn and like to do things their own way at their own pace. Combine that with the independence and confrontational nature of an Aries, and you've got Toph.

Aries value their independence, sometimes to the point of being selfish, which is what we get with Toph in the Book 2 episode "The Chase". In this episode, it's Toph's first time riding with the group, but it's also her first taste of freedom. Like an Aries, she hates the idea of seeming weak or helpless, and has to learn that freedom doesn't mean that she has to do everything alone.

As Toph shows us, there is, however, power and strength in valuing independence, so long as you're not insecure about independence or projecting. Toph is a wealthy, sheltered child who is blind, which, in most cases, would make her vulnerable. But it's not the case. Toph ran away once before when she was little, and that's where she learned earthbending from the giant blind moles. She learned earthbending not just as a martial art, but as an extension of herself and her senses, and as a way to see. She would have never been able to master doing that (nor would shehave gone on to do even greater things like train the avatar and discover metal bending), if she didn't have the will, bravery and self assurance to run away in the first place. That little pilgrimage (her life changing adventure, if you will...but still not with Zuko, I'm afraid😔) showed the value of independence. Of going out on your own journey of self-discovery. Much like how Zuko needed to be be alone for a while during Book 2 for his own journey of self-discovery.

Oh, speaking of "Zuko Alone"...

♈Zuko - Aries

Zuko's arc in the show shows us the transition from a dark-sided, low vibrational Aries, to a high-vibrational Aries at it's best: passionate, brave, protective, strong, innovative, a good leader, driven, energetic and independent. Zuko embodies many Aries (and general fire sign) traits, both good and bad. He can be impulsive, and doesn't always think things all the way through. Aries is cardinal fire, so it's about getting up and going, just DOING something. Zuko is known for never giving up. These are things that that Iroh, Sokka and Ursa have mentioned. Zuko is an impatient person and is very fiery, hot headed and reactionary even for a firebender.

His reactionary nature makes him prone to a bit of melodrama (and I imagine that's why it's so fun for Azula or even Iroh to get a rise out of him). This is definitely the case with Aries. They're not the only sign with a temper, but they are the most likey to cause a scene and storm off in a huff about it. Or challenge you to a fight. Zuko can't refuse a fight for the life of him. At least not until he evolves and figures out his ✨true destiny✨.

One the other hand, he also keeps that same fiery energy when it comes to defending those who can't defend themselves and fighting for what he believes is right. In these cases, he refuses to back down. Even if his chances of winning are low, he'll still keep pushing forward. That's the will, energy and drive of cardinal fire. Zuko just needs to chanel all that power into something useful and constructive, like creating change for the greater good, and not distraction. Like with fire in general, Aries (and Zuko) is useful and powerful, but requires direction, guidance and purpose, so as to not risk letting the fire run wild to cause destruction and devastation.

[gencat21]

NCT - Him saying something hurtful to you and you get hurt afterward (2)

NCT Dream

Requested

RENJUN

"So, how do you say this?" he asked you again, and your mind went blank. You begged Renjun to teach you Chinese a while ago, but you had a tiny problem. For some reason, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't understand. Being a foreigner learning Korean better but actually wanting to learn at least some basic Chinese was harder than expected. To the point where Renjun was getting frustrated. "You don't pay attention or something? Y/N, I've tried for months to teach you but you don't get anything. Are you dumb or something? Aish! I don't think I can do this anymore. I'm done." He stood up from the floor and went to the kitchen while Jisung just sat there looking at his Hyung, wondering why he exploded like that. His eyes went from the back of Renjun to you, who was still sitting on the floor but with eyes getting watery while you gathered all of your stuff slowly. Were you holding back your tears? He saw how you stood up and without saying anything, you left the dorm, but he couldn't forget the cast that you had taken off a day before, could you really stand up and leave quickly like that? "Hyung, " Jisung stood up from the couch he was on and went to the kitchen.

"Yes?"

"Hm… she just left." He said, somewhat nervous just in case Renjun wanted him to stop you.

"Without saying anything? What's gotten over her?"

"Hyung, you kind of… not kind of, you actually called her dumb. She seemed sad then she stood up and then left." Realization hits Renjun at that moment and remembered that the way he said you were dumb was hurtful. It was hard for you to learn Chinese when you weren't perfectly good at Korean either. He immediately left what he was doing at the kitchen to run after you.

His heart breaks at the sight of you right outside of the dorm door on the floor knowing that you didn't have to leave so quickly and tried to run when you actually couldn't.

"Y/N," his voice seemed sad as he crouched beside your crying figure. "Baby, let me help you up. You know your leg is not healed completely for you to be so harsh on it." His hand sweetly caressed your head.

"I'm just really dumb," you said, not lifting your eyes from your leg.

"No, you're not sweetie. The dumb here is me for even saying that to you. I'm really sorry." He carefully delivered his words making sure you can understand every word.

"You are dumb," for the first time you looked at his eyes ever since you fell on the floor.

"Forgive me?"

"I will think about it."

"Hot chocolate for my princess?"

"Sure."

JENO

He was going through something, but you didn't know what to do about that. All you wanted to do was help him overcome whatever he was going through, and instead, you were sitting in front of him drinking your ice coffee while staring at him and how he was looking outside with a straight face. No exchange of words, no exchange of looks, no eye smile he always has on no matter what. You were just there in silence thinking why he planned this date a week ago when he was just going to ignore you. "Can I ask what is going on inside your head?" You asked when you couldn't entertain yourself with your coffee since it was over.

"No, "

"Will, you ever tell me?"

"I don't think so, " he answered.

"You don't trust me?" You wondered, looking at him waiting for him to tell you, yes, instead he remained quiet and full of thought. That silence put pressure against your heart. Does that mean he doesn't trust you at all? After a year into the relationship? You got full of thought and just looked at his side face for a minute. His silence answered your question. And your heart broke. "I thought we were on the same page here but apparently we are not." A tear was begging to appear but you contained it by looking at the ceiling.

You were a sensitive girl you had to admit, but that occasion was just so painful for you for two reasons. Jeno didn't trust you, and when you stood up to leave you ended up crashing with a waiter that had a tray of hot coffee that found its way to fall on you. I repeat, hot coffees. You yell in pain when your chest and stomach started to burn in a way that you just broke down right there. The Jeno situation plus this was enough for you to let it all out.

Jeno looked at you as soon as you stood up and wanted to stop you but when the boy crashed onto you, he just didn't know what to say or do. "Babe, I—” he started to say but you already left the coffee shop and he wanted to punch himself for that. The truth was that he was jealous of Jaemin because ever since you met Jeno there has been this bond between Jaemin and you, like sister and brother, no feelings involved. And you have gotten mad about it because you felt like he didn't trust you enough when you said you were friends.

That's why it hurt your feelings when he didn't answer. You thought that was left in the past, you thought he had grown out of it. You were wrong.

Obviously, he ran after you, thinking about taking you to the hospital but you ignored him completely. You wanted to go home and nowhere else, and not being near him. " Where are you going?"

"Home, can't you see." You said, trying to stop crying even thought your chest and stomach were in pain.

"We should go to the hospital."

"My mom will treat me this," you said and continued to ignore him until you got home and left him behind. He called you that night, and the night before not being able to see you due to busy schedule, or so he said. Three days later he was on your bedroom door, with no eye smile.

"Can we talk?" Your eyes stared at his figure on your door, wanting to say yes but not wanting to open your mouth at all. "I was… jealous of Jaemin again. I saw he texted you when you went to look for our coffee and couldn't help but to feel jealous. I couldn't tell you because you were going to get mad at me again but I just can't hide my feelings and I'm sorry.” he said while you listened, getting upset about the " Jaemin" thing again.

"So… either way you don't trust me. I understand—" he cut you off mid-sentence, seeing Jeno get m frustrated for the first time in your life. "No, I do trust you! But even though he is one of my best friends I can't help but feel like he will steal you away from me. He could if he wanted, and that's scary." Instead of being mad at him, that disappeared and you felt sad.

"Babe… he will never.”

" I'm sorry.”

"Say sorry by asking my mom for that cream she put on me for the burn that practically was your fault.” you laughed a little so he could stop being so tense. Guess that was not going to happen, because the other concern was your stomach. It really got burned. Anyone could see the mark it was about to leave.

DONGHYUCK

You were getting pissed. You couldn't control it. He was joking trying to bother you so much today that your patience was running out. He knew you were hard to tease, and he decided that today was the day that he was going to tease you for the first time and do anything that would get you annoyed. At first, it was all fun, but it was getting to a point that you just wanted to run away after punching him in his extremely handsome face. "DONGHYUK, JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE ALREADY." he was startled by you suddenly screaming his name instead of Baby, and then smiled because he got what he wanted. "are you mad?" He asked you. "I came to spend the day with you and you've been bothering me all day and joking around, can't you be a little more mature?" You lowered your voice but still raised your voice to let out all the frustration you had been locking up the whole day. His face was not playful anymore, in fact, he was getting a little mad as well

"Can't you fucking be a little less boring? When we got together I understood you were more of a serious girl but you're just boring."

"Sure, whatever." You said, totally hiding the fact that he saying you were boring was not hurtful at all. "There's no point in being together don't you think? I will just be annoying you by how boring I am, let's you leave this right here." You said, starting to look for the few things you had outside of your bad like your keys, phone, and wallet.

He stood behind you watching what you were doing not getting in his head that you were getting ready to leave on the only day you had to see each other for more than an hour. "That's not what I meant." Until he saw you grabbing your bag and walking straight to the door and started panicking.

"No, that's what you meant. I'm not stupid, I heard you." In a flash you opened the door and closed it, ignoring him calling out your name. You just continued walking through the people, not caring about him not being behind you or anything. You still had in your mind that there was no point to be with someone that you will never make happy no matter what. Or at least for a couple of minutes. Until you remembered how he said that you were boring. "I am really that boring?" You asked your self, completely lost in thought until you heard people yelling at someone to get out of the way. And realizing that that person was you but not being able to do anything because it was already too late was the worst part. Hopefully, the person driving the car stopped before he could hit you in a way that you would just have died. Instead, it touched you. You fell to the ground anyway and felt pain on your right leg. The lady got out of the car immediately and ran to you say how sorry she was and you almost could see her eyes getting full of tears. "It was my fault, I didn't pay attention to where I was going. I'm sorry."

Haechan was going to run after you but he got the most unnecessary call from his manager that he ended up hanging up, but when he got out of the dorm there was no sign of you. How he was so stupid to answer that call at that moment. He just started running in a direction while calling you to your phone to find out where you were. Did you just break up with him? Was it over for you two already? No way. He regretted his words because you weren't boring at all, but there was no way to tell you that since he lost you. A few minutes after his heart stopped when he heard people screaming at someone to stop or to be careful. He wished that person it wasn't you. But he heard your voice screaming for a few seconds due to pain. There was a mini crowd of people in the sidewalk in which he pushed around until he saw you being carried by two men that were helping a lady getting you inside her car. His heart broke when he saw a few tears rolling down your cheeks.

"Y/N!" You heard him and couldn't help but to roll your eyes while you were being placed inside the car "I'm her boyfriend can I go with you?" He said to the lady totally desperate, and the lady felt pity for him so she said yes and he sat beside you in the backs it without touching your leg. You avoided his eyes at all cost but you knew he was glancing at you with the puppy eyes you loved and hated at the same time. "You're not boring, " he broke the silence. "Whatever, " still avoiding his eyes. "Stop looking at me, "

"No, you're gorgeous."

"I hate you, "

"And I love you so forgive me, "

"Whatever, " you said but finally looked at him and laughed a little, seeing him feeling relieved.

JAEMIN

"Can't understand how you got to debut." His voice was audible as soon as the music on your phone stopped. You turn around to see him standing on the door arms crossed, and you can't help but look somewhere else to hide the fact that those words were actually hurtful. But you couldn't show him that to him, right? "Look who's talking," you didn't know where the strength to respond back came from. "There were actually a lot of other girls that could have debuted in your place, guess they wasted the spot completely." You laugh ironically, knowing that it was true. You spent hours and hours practicing you singing and dancing because you knew you were there for your looks. But looks don't give you talent. No matter how beautiful you are, you have to work hard to get the skills you lack, and that's what you were doing for longer than your schedule had planned for you. In that case, hearing say something you already knew was hurtful, and more when you knew what he was doing there. "It's enough, Jaemin."

"Don't like the truth?"

"Stop,"

"Can't hear fac—"

"Just because you're in love with me and we cant be with each other doesn't mean you have hurtful towards me. You're not the only one that got a broken heart so please leave so I can fucking practice." And without another word you olay the song again and start to practice harder. Three hours later, you let yourself fall on the floor panting hard, feeling how every single muscle from your body was hard to move. You couldn't. The tiredness was extreme, and you couldn't remember if you had taken water while sweating for all that time. Did you have lunch? You can't remember. Your eyes were barely able to look at the ceiling due to the lights hurting your eyes. And slowly your eyes get closed until you lost consciousness of your surroundings.

He couldn't really focus on the recording they were doing, his mind only was thinking about you and how he really got over the line while trying to push you away and forget about how much he liked you. As soon as he finished, he went back to the dance room where he saw you lying on the floor with your eyes closed, and panicked washed all of his face. He quickly threw himself on the floor beside you and held your face while calling your name softly. For his luck, they opened. But they looked so tired that he regretted more than ever saying that before.

"Are you okay? Did you faint? I'm sorry. For what I said, this is just difficult for me. I can't control my words lately and… "

"Everything was dizzy," you ignored the other things he said after you promised yourself not to talk about what you two went through a little while ago. " I was really dizzy. So I laid down and next thing I know you're grabbing my face like this." He noticed he was holding your face with both hands, but doesn't think about taking them away. He did not want to.

"Do you want something? Anything I can get from you?" He was nervous to see you so worn out. after all. He liked you.

"Just call my manager, tell her to please take me home. Even though I'm not supposed to be here right now."

"Anything else?" He nods and shifts his eyes all over your face, remembering why he loved it so much.

"And stop talking with me… we can't be doing this and you know it."

"I know,"

CHENLE

Your eyes were fixed on the broken piece on the floor, not believe what happened. You didn't want to stumble and end up breaking something that looked so expensive. It was a simple vase, but it looked like it was worth more than your entire life and you wanted nothing more than disappear in the thin air. As soon as Chenle heard the loud sound of glass breaking, he ran outside his house. You were supposed to just go for a glass of water, nothing else. Your heart was beating fast, and tears started to roll down your cheeks and when you saw Chenle with his mouth wide open. "I'm sorry It was not my intention to break this I—”

" What did you just do?" He yelled at your figure crouched on the floor.

“I—it was no—” you wanted to say in between sobs, but he was not listening to you. All he could hear was his parents scolding him for breaking that.

"You just went for water, you can't even do that right?” his words echoed inside your head, and it just felt like a vivid Deja Vu. It wasn't, but the words were similar to your parents telling you that all the time. You had found comfort when Chenle appeared in your life as the first person that was proud of you for anything that you had put your effort into. And then he left you alone like your parents have done your entire life. The tears didn't stop falling even if you tried to calm yourself down. You opted for at least pile all the pieces of glasses together while thinking about looking for broom at least. But you didn't know if he wanted you to throw it away or leave there. Either way, you piled them. "Ah, ” you whined when you felt a piece of glass piercing your hand. " everyone is right, I can't do anything right.” you decided to ignore it and finish to pile it up until you see that the cut in your hand was bleeding more than normal. In the end, it wasn't that deep, but it was bleeding a lot. You thanked God that the floor was not covered by a carpet, because it was dripping. "Aish, " you said a little bit loud for your liking and tried to cover your hand from dripping more with your other hand while ran you went to the bathroom. Chenle was looking for a broom to clean the mess you did while frowning and thinking what his parents were going to do and pissed with you for causing him trouble, obviously until he saw the blood on the floor, and knowing that it wasn't his he panicked.

There was something that worried him more than his parents taking off all his privileges and scolding him, and it was seeing you hurt and crying in the bathroom. He saw how you had your hand close to your eyes so you could see if there was a piece of glass, and then putting pressure on it so It could stop bleeding. The anger was forgotten at that point, and then he regretted yelling at you. Just seeing you so broken was enough to do that. He silently walked to you and carefully grabbed your wrist to take a look at the cut.

He pulled you to the toilet and sat you there while looking everywhere in the bathroom for the first aid kit. He crouched in front of you and with a cotton he started to clean your wound as carefully as he could, and from time to his eyes went to your face. Your look was lowered, and the almost dry tears were visible to him.

You wanted to speak but knew that saying sorry was not fixing the expensive vase. "It's okay, ” he said sweetly. " my parents have enough money to buy 10 of the same vase. They should just do that." He tried to joke, but your expression was the same. You felt sorry and there was anything that could be done. you couldn't pay it back. "Look at me, " he ordered, still sweet. You did so. "It's okay, "

"Your words said a different thing earlier."

"But they were not true, I was shocked."

"I'm sorry." You felt your tears watering again.

"Give me a kiss and it will be good, okay?" You smiled at his cheesiness.

JISUNG

"Leave me alone, Jisung." You said as you walked quickly through the hall with your books in hand. You were going to be late for your other class since someone wanted to pester you and finding a reason to stand in your way. You couldn't say be was bullying you, he just liked to bother you and make you pissed for no reason, and you hated him for that. Even though he was the cutest boy you've ever met. At some point, you thought he liked you the same way you liked him, you how they say that if a boy bothers you it means that he likes you. He bothered you but made clear he would like anyone but you. It was hurtful at first, but you got over that. "Why should I?

" Gosh, you need me at school if not you would have nothing else to do, right?" You stopped abruptly and he did the same, following you with a cheeky smile. "Don't flatter yourself, Y/N. You could disappear and no one will notice. Or at least I wouldn't." Your heart skipped a beat, and not for a good reason. You have thought that before, but hearing a person actually saying that to you struck your heart so suddenly that all you could do was look somewhere else and continue walking.

Next day you didn't show up at school, and his lie fell right down on him. When he walked through the hallway and didn't see your figure in your locker, he frowned and asked himself why you weren't there. He knew you had math first period and walked past the classroom but didn't see you there. And for some reason, he started to worry.

At recess, he saw your group of friends at their table and decided to go and ask. "Excuse me, I'm sorry for interrupting but do you know where's Y/N?" They all looked at each other with a worried look, remembering why you were at school today.

"She's in the hospital."

His world crashed down. Or at least that's what he felt. "Why?"

"We don't know yet, her mother just told us that."

After that, he was anxious all day. The hours were slow, each period seeming longer than they have ever been, and when the last class ended, his body jumped from his seat and the first person to leave school was him.

You opened your eyes to see the doctor beside you writing something while speaking to your mom at the same time. "She must wake up anytime so— oh, look who's awake."

"Sweetie, my love, " your mom called your name. "What have I told you about skipping meals? You should eat more, and sleep more, and do what humans beings need to survive

"I forget, " you said as you could, and smiled when your mom kissed your forehead. The doctor helped you sit down on the bed and gave you a glass of water.

"Also, why you never told me you had a boyfriend? I thought you trusted me."

"I don't have one, mom."

"Then who's the nervous boy sitting outside? He's genuinely worried about you." You got more confused as she was talking. What boy? "I will let him in, he's really cute. You would look good together." She started to go to the door, told the boy to enter and just left. "Who is the mother here, her or is it me?" You were saying until his face appeared in sight. "Wh—what are you doing here?"

"You weren't at school." He seemed hesitant. He was standing in the door and didn't know what to do or say. Until he finally got the courage to walk slowly to you, who was still confused." How are you feeling?"

"What do you want, Jisung? Weren't you the one that told me that if I disappear you wouldn't even notice?"

"Don't disappear." He said to the speed of light, so fast that you were shocked. "Never."

"Do you need someone to bother so bad? Get a girlfriend, you're already annoying anyway."

"It's true. I would bother you if you were my girlfriend anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"That I like you. And that somebody needs to check that you are eating well all the time." You've never hard him be this straight forward for all your high school years. He bothered you, and most off the time it was silently. Now that he was saying that to you, you didn't know what to do more than just stare at his eyes, figuring out if it was a joke. But he would travel from school to here just for a simple stupid joke. "I know I've gotten you to hate me all these years but it's because I never had the nerves to tell you that. But you had to get me all anxious and worried for me to actually tell you. And I realized that I have try my best to win your heart."

"It will not be that hard, actually." You murmured.

"What do you mean?"

"Let's see what happens."

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

[leoninapelliolovesconchitawurst]

ENGLISH TRANSLATION (by me)

N.TV.DE 25/10/19

https://www.n-tv.de/leute/musik/Ich-bin-schon-wieder-von-mir-gelangweilt-article21329808.html

Tom, Conchita or Wurst?

"I'm bored of myself again"

In 2014, Conchita Wurst wins the Eurovision Song Contest in Copenhagen, as it has never before. In gilded robe, with long hair and full beard, she performs the anthem "Rise Like A Phoenix" and can inspire fans of the Eurovision Song Contest (ESC) worldwide. Since then, she has been an integral part of the gossip columns, although - or because - her look and gender identity have changed since then.

When Thomas Neuwirth was born in Austria, she now wants to be referred to as "he" again and only be called Wurst. Under this name, "Truth Over Magnitude" is now the third album of the singer, who previously performed rather as a singing drag queen. With his 2018 outing as an HIV-positive Wurst once again hit the headlines and was praised by many for his courage and his openness. He too does not see himself as a victim. Rather, he is one of the recipients, as he tells in an interview with n-tv.de. And he also explains why Heidi Klum has in his eyes quite the right to moderate on the side of him and Bill Kaulitz just a show for drag queens.

n-tv.de: You just introduced yourself to me as Tom, your album appears under the name Wurst, for a while you were Conchita or Conchita Wurst. Does it depend on your daily form or rather on the respective stage of life?

Wurst: You can really rely on nothing, right? (laughs) I'm always tempted to explain myself when I'm asked that question, and of course I want to give a good answer for everyone to be satisfied. But I'm afraid that answer does not exist. There are moments when Conchita is appropriate. Then there are moments when I would not call myself Conchita. There is no rule. If you're writing Conchita, it's just as correct as writing Wurst or Tom.

In the end, it's wurst (not important) - an ambiguous sentence somehow. At the very least, your album "Truth Over Magnitude" will appear under this name, which is far less glamorous than the title, the music or even you.

In fact, Wurst was a second. I'm a visual person, and we knew "Trash All The Glam" would be the first single. I saw the video in front of me and knew that I had to go down the escalator and stand there like an exit sign "Wurst". Suddenly everything was clear. Absurdly, looking back, Conchita Wurst sums me up perfectly. I have a side that is very glamorous, polished, friendly, polite and considerate. And then I have a page that is irrational, eaten away by ego. I can be terrible to the people I love.

That's the Wurst side?

This is the Wurst page. I started to separate that. As Conchita to be the president's wife and to live according to the protocol that I came up with. That's how I totally reduced myself. I understood that now. Now I'm getting everything I have. If I feel like it, I'm hyperfeminine, whatever that means. Or I am just masculine.

How do other people react to you? Are you exposed to hostility because of these traits?

I am an absolute lucky child, I had a great childhood. We were all teenagers, that's difficult, no matter if you wear braces or are gay. Something is always found. So far I have had no traumatizing encounters with people. So I can not really speak of what it means to feel threatened, because I never had to.

You have called your album "Truth Over Magnitude". Is that a kind of life motto? Your mantra?

That's something I had to learn or still learn. Being able to dose my own ego a bit, being a bit more sensitive - with myself too. As a bearded drag queen, I won the ESC and pinned it to my chest, individualism is great. I often came into the situation that I thought, why I do not actually listen to myself. Why do not I kill what I say? Why do I care so much what others say about me? And I think I've learned that over the past year and a half and reduced it to a large extent. I love being uncompromising myself. Now even more than before. And that is also this album. Had I been able to write it myself, I would have done it.

Again, you are more honest than many others who claim to make their music single-handedly.

I've teamed up with the most talented people in my environment, Eva Klampfer and Albin Janoska. She wrote the lyrics and tunes and he produced the album. That was so liberating and so beautiful. Eva knows a lot more about me than she ever wanted.

So you - like a therapist - told her about you, about your life, about your topics, and then she put that into song form?

It really was a bit of a therapy session. We talked about the world, how we see things that happened to me, how I feel that, how I put it. For me it was incredibly exciting, but also the way she works.

You've done glamorous pop music so far, "Truth Over Magnitude" is definitely more electronic. Why did you take this step?

My musical education ranges from Celine Dion to Björk. I always wanted to be Celine Dion and have achieved that a bit in my world. Then I thought: why do not I make the music that I also hear privately? And so the decision of the music style was already there. I wanted it to be closer to what I consume privately.

What other artists are there, who have influenced you in this regard?

A bit of Robyn, a bit of Moloko, a touch of Massive Attack ... that was about the Mood Board. What I found totally cool, is what Albin did: I pick up things that come to my mind in an irregular pattern on my laptop. Echo, Hall, I sing and yell something in there. I gave him everything and he swapped my voice samples, pitched and trallala. This is how a special sound was created.

So you were almost your own instrument?

Yeah, I take over. (Laughs)

You like to reinvent yourself. At some point - for example - do you ever have the feeling of having arrived?

I am already bored of myself again. What could I do now? I have been able to do a lot of new things in the near past, which has already inspired me a lot. I'm curious how this evolves.

Let's talk about it. You moderate at the side of Heidi Klum and Bill Kaulitz the Prosieben show "Queen of the Drags". Did you understand the criticism of the LGBTQ community of the decision to put Klum on the jury?

I can understand that it irritates at first glance. But I was also very surprised, because that was revealing of our community, which always insists on integration. I thought that was a pity and had to let me explain the problem first. I think Heidi has the absolute right to be on a jury that judges entertainment. She can. She has been in this business long enough.

And with Heidi Klum on the jury, you may also reach more people outside the LGBTQ cosmos. Do you think that such a show can open doors in this way?

I hope so. Of course, because Heidi is a multiplier for a format that did not exist in German-speaking countries. I want to have a great show, great performances, but I also think that this show has the potential to show people who are loveable and open hearts. That would be the most important thing to me. I'm not concerned that anyone understands something or suddenly finds it great, but that he sees that we are all human. We all have the same problems, the same uncertainties. Let's stop diverging.

Nicole Ankelmann spoke with Tom Neuwirth aka Wurst

[ninawritesastory]

So, I started following you because your posts on Creek are fantastic and have fueled headcanons for days but I've recently stumbled into enjoying Style (I'm new to this fandom) and a tag on one of your recent reblogs leads me to ask: what do you think needs to happen in order for Style to work? What growing up and experience do you think they need? And, in the end, how do you ultimately see them once they've achieved that?

Holy crow, thank you so much! I’m glad you’re enjoying all of the Creek, and I’m glad you’re getting plenty of headcanons out of it. Half the time I feel like I’m just rambling nonsensically into the void and none of what I’m saying makes any sense, so it’s always nice to hear that it’s making sense to someone! xD

And welcome to the South Park fandom, by the way! I think this is one of the chillest, least toxic fandoms I’m part of (so long as you stay away from. like, the Kyman vs. Style ship wars; maybe it’s calmed down a bunch, but it used to be fairly…interesting) and there are TONS of awesome artists and writers, as I’m sure you’re discovering. I hope you have lots of fun and find some good stuff.

Now, thing about Style is that, after the events of You’re Getting Old/Assburgers in particular, there’s a clear shift in the maturity levels between Kyle and Stan. The main problem here is that, for all intents and purposes, Kyle is a lot like Cartman. The key difference is that Kyle is always convinced he’s morally superior while Cartman doesn’t really give a shit about moral superiority.

There have been multiple instances throughout the show where Kyle has demonstrated a definite lack of emotional sensitivity to the point where I’d consider it largely canon that he has trouble empathizing with others. His treatment of Stan in You’re Getting Old and Assburgers is pretty much what had me pushing back my realm of feasibility for the Style relationship. Kyle can’t empathize with Stan’s developing depression; he outright says that Stan’s worsening mental health is toxic to him. And while I can understand that, to some degree, the fact that Kyle was willing to abandon Stan once his depression was starting to worsen really turned me off from canonical Style.

I have depression myself, and I know from experience how shitty it is to have the people you care about turn their backs on you because you’re no longer smiling and laughing at the same stuff you used to. Depression fucks with you in ways that drastically alter who you are. And if you decide to seek out treatment and keep up with it, who you become as you recover is fairly rarely who you were before you spiraled. If you’ve ever seen Inside Out (which has a FANTASTIC way of showing what depression feels like), think of the Personality Islands going dark and crumbling away. It’s a lot like that: what interested you, what you valued, what you loved, you’re likely to lose your connections to those things and even once you begin recovery there’s a chance that you won’t be able to reestablish those interests, or at least to the same strength that you had them before. Depression more or less chews you up and spits you out, and when you start recovering, you’re essentially a blank slate in terms of your interests.

And Stan…never actually gets any real treatment. Personally, I was really confused when Stan’s obvious descriptions of depression were immediately linked by Mr. Mackey to Asperger’s Syndrome. (Which made it really difficult for me to keep up with the rest of the episode, because it kind of felt like they just wanted to make the Ass Burgers joke and went from a depression-focused storyline to an autism-focused one.) But, the only “treatment” Stan gets at all is alcohol. It’s literally poured down his throat without his consent. Even once the episode comes to a close, Stan never receives any actual treatment and so has to rely on the only “solution” he was exposed to.

But, anyway, from those episodes onwards, there’s been a distinct imbalance in Stan and Kyle’s relationship. Their “Super Best Friends” status is starting to feel more and more superficial. Because Stan is fairly emotionally intelligent. He’s highly empathetic, even if he can be self-centered on a semi-regular basis. And Stan is definitely in the processing of growing up just a little too fast due to his issues with depression, addiction, and substance abuse. He’s taking responsibility for himself at an age when he really shouldn’t have to—at least, not in those areas.

Meanwhile, Kyle doesn’t really have anything pushing him to grow. (Prior to last season, at any rate.) He’s ten and there’s nothing in his immediate experience that is forcing him to think more maturely. The closest he ever comes is with Ike, but since Ike is not someone he has to take care of on a regular basis, any maturity he shows in those moments is fleeting and kind of superficial. Kyle doesn’t have any reason to reevaluate how he relates to people, his empathy is severely underdeveloped, and he has a hard time understanding anyone else’s point of view.

In other words, Stan’s in the process of maturing. Kyle (prior to last season) is nowhere close. It’s possible that Kyle’s experiences with Heiman and the nuking of Canada may help push him into that phase of his development, but I don’t think I can really say that definitively until the next season comes out.

So, for what I feel needs to happen for Style to work. On Stan’s end, he needs to get some actual treatment for his depression. He seems to have gotten the whole addiction and substance abuse thing more or less under control thanks to his chat with Satan, but I’m not sure if his depression has been managed as effectively. I also think he needs to have a Come to Jesus moment in terms of his relationship with his dad. Honestly, I heavily empathized with Stan in Ass Burgers when he was finally making progress in dealing with his mental health only for Randy to yank the rug out from under him at the last minute. I just get the sense that Randy’s presence in Stan’s life is essentially what keeps Stan from progressing in terms of his mental health and development. That whole, “Stick to what you know” thing isn’t going to help Stan because sticking to what he knows involves a flash of booze stashed in his underwear drawer and no actual attempts to seek either medication or psychiatric help. So Stan needs to develop enough to pull himself out from under Randy’s influence.

For Kyle…Kyle needs to mature emotionally. He needs to learn how to empathize with other people and get out of his self-centered focus. I think he may be on the way to that, if he learned his lesson from the M.A.C./Canada nuking situation. I also think that what would help Kyle most is just getting out of South Park and away from Cartman. Everyone says college is pretty much a different world from grade school, and in a lot of ways they’re right. Depending on what college you go to, your likelihood of being in classes with people you know from grade school is slim to none. The structure in college is also different; a lot of it relies on you being accountable to yourself and your coursework. The mix of people you interact with is almost never the exact same sort of mix you grew up with. Which would go a long way to helping Kyle develop the necessary self-awareness needed to make the Style relationship work.

The way I see it, Kyle and Stan having some sort of a falling out in middle school or high school. They don’t hang out that much anymore, their friend groups shift enough that their daily interactions are minimal, and they develop apart from each other for the first time in their lives. They go their separate ways after graduation—Kyle to college and Stan to the military—and don’t really call or talk or anything after leaving South Park. Give it at least a semester, better a year or so, and they reunite during break. Kyle’s done a shit ton of growing up, Randy’s shadow over Stan’s life is drastically reduced, and they’ve have a chance to grown into themselves. Kyle’s got a better understanding of mental health, Stan’s got a firmer grip on his depression, and they’re finally back on even ground. That’s when a romantic relationship between the could work out.  

[normal-thoughts-official]

jk sorry i was just laughing at that last part, but regarding the actual content:

i feel a sick glee in informing you that i know EXACTLY how A/B/O started and it was with a supernatural fanfic prompt for jared padalecki/jensen ackles (otherwise known as the guy who plays sam and the guy who plays dean, respectively) in which "some males have a knot and those are the alpha males and the rest are bitch males" (in the words of the prompter) and jensen is a bitch male struggling with the internalized mysoginy before he meets jared and his magical healing cock. slowly it evolved into the terminology we know today (alpha/beta/omega) and they added stuff like the omegas being able to get p worded and the self lubricating ass and shit

in case u needed a reason to hate supernatural today, here it is!

so yeah it didn't exactly begin as a male/female thing, more as like a particular fetishization of mysoginy applied to gay men/bottoms that slowly morphed into making bottom just Woman 2.0, even associating being a bottom with shit that is associated with womanhood like p word and lubrication

so yeah the origin is cursed. my hatred for A/B/O might come from the fact that when i first encountered it and clicked in the fic having no idea what to expect it was one of these Really Bad "in this world omegas are basically s*x sl*ves to alphas but that is hot and treated as natural and consent is literally nowhere to be seen" ones. which has always been a sensitive thing to me as a bottom/sub cuz i dont need more ppl believing that my desires dont matter, thanks

and just ever since whenever i see A/B/O i just run away screaming. the only exception i've ever made were kinkym's fics. and i know that some ppl have been subverting A/B/O and questioning the awful mysoginistic, fetishistic, and essentialist premises, tackling the way ppl see omegas as an oppressive, awful thing, mentioning alpha/alpha and (more rarely) omega/omega couples, having trans alphas/omegas, which i think is kinda cool, altho honestly like we already have that it's called real non-straight and real trans people, but well, at least ppl are questioning the cursed things about the genre

(fun fact in portuguese genre and gender are the same word and i almost wrote "questioning things about the gender" and it's funny cuz it still works)

also lol i suppose in those ppl's minds real trans men who get p worded are transphobic?? literally why is truscum rethoric all over trans rep discourse like listen buddy i have a severe panic of p word to the point where just thinking about it as a concept makes me need to do breathing exercises and i would rather DIE than ever get p worded and the idea makes me so so dysphoric but claiming that all trans ppl's experiences must be the closest possible to cis ppl's is not and will never be an anti-transphobic take. p worded trans men and enbies are rad and i love them

like sure some ppl can write it in a bad and disrespectful way but "it can be born out of transphobia" is NOT the same thing as "it is inherently transphobic as a trope" and i really wish ppl would learn the difference sometime

also what is it with the bones. somehow i was on tumblr in 2013 but i completely missed the bone stealing discourse and to this day ive never had anyone explain it to me, it's always like, Either You Know It Or You Don't

about the catholic thing: yeah, she's probably speaking off stereotypes she's heard and i don't blame her (first and foremost cuz id rather die than be upset at a muslim person for how they talk about xnianity, i literally hate catholicism anyway) it just kinda bothered me cuz hhhhhhhh Wildly Untrue. i kinda feel dirty for even ""defending"" catholicism but sometimes you just see something and you have plenty of evidence that every word of it is incorrect and it just bothers you even if you could care less about the subject

and i think the way USans view catholicism is a mix of pre-existing anti-irishness (since they were colonized by the brits) and the fact that eastern european countries in particular are the ones with the Most Visible Catholicism, and that's where it tends to be worse from what i've seen. most ppl don't even register that countries like fr*nce and it*ly are also mainly catholic countries because they are western european and thus viewed as inherently kin to the US (and their own brand of conservatism is swept under the rug), and who even knows shit about latam, the philippines, or southern africa

also ultra conservative catholics are loud, as most ultra conservatives seem to be 🤷 and the official church doesn't help cuz the vatican is The Worst, so. and obviously, the history of the church doesn't help either, but other christians reeeaaaalllyyyyyy shouldn't be out there distancing themselves from catholic history lol

I didn't take it personally but I appreciate you letting me know <3

I think the American in her spoke up on the Catholic guilt, I'm not sure if it's because is one of the less common of the Christians religions present in usa, but most americans are convinced that Catholism is way more conservative/extreme that like other christians religions

Also yeah omegaverse is very 😐 :// but when I first found it in a fanfic I was really curious about the possibilities and it didn't like occurr to me that it probably started as an Alpha male x omega female breeding kink, gender roles x1000, but now when I see the tag I'm like ..... goodbye

(TW: brief Mention of mpreg and trans male pregnancy) when I started reading fanfics (2012-ish) it was "considered bad" reading a fanfic with a trans male pregnancy and "the minimum you can do it is read a magic mpreg, otherwise is really disrespectful" and I still don't know if trans men where having that opinion at the time or if a cis person just decided and started yelling. It was crazy but less crazy than when I found out the rumor about a girl stealing bones was real

there is so much going on here