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inkblot22 · 10 months ago

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The Infection I Don't Want

I don't have any words. Don't look at me. In all seriousness, I definitely love the savior trope. I tried to give it a cute little twist. Idia feels funny in this one too. Also sorry if the formatting is weird. I write these in Docs and then I transfer them to tumblr and for some reason in this fic's document I used Amatic SC and I have bad vision to begin with. No clue why I love torturing myself. Dividers by @/cafekitsune. This fic gets a little heavy. If you start feeling unwell, stop reading. I won't take it personal, promise.

This fic is aimed towards afab readers, but uses they/them pronouns. Mentions of periods and wombs. I may have been a bit less impersonal with this one, but the reader doesn't go on my weird love rant that I have in my self-insert Idia fic so there is that.

This fic is DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT. TW for mentions of pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, DIY abortion which could also be read as miscarriage, I guess, abortion, Idia is incredibly mean in this and possibly OOC, Ortho being unintentionally creepy, parasites, sort of misogyny relating to periods, shock collars, electric shocks, captivity, implied forced marriage, implied forced medical procedures. PSA: don't try anything the reader does in this fic. It's an excellent way to get sepsis, and you don't want that, I promise.

Part 5 of the Pants on Fire series.

You don’t want to admit it, but a bit too much has changed about you. In the past few weeks, you’ve noticed plenty of things, but the largest and most blaring was that your period never came. Before when you would have it, Idia would sulk and pout, acting like you were bleeding on purpose, throwing a heating pad and a blanket and a pillow and the necessary products at you so you’d be comfortable in your distress. He kept talking about figuring out some technology to rid you of that pesky trait, and you really can’t think of anyone who likes having a period, so if he had, you wouldn’t have fought him on it,

It’s too late for that now. For the last few days, you’ve been waking up early and vomiting. The smell of Idia’s favorite noodles makes it worse. Your poor tummy is constantly roiling, and you can hardly keep anything down. Ortho has been staring at you incessantly. You think he’s being annoying, really, and Idia’s been getting on your last nerves as well.

Today, you woke up, vomited, and just sat in the bathroom for a moment, coming to terms with the fact that you could very well be pregnant. You feel conflicted. On one hand, you don’t want to talk or think about this. You’re stressed enough as it is. On the other hand, you absolutely don’t want this. You don’t want this creature in your stomach. You know it's there. You can’t feel it, but how often can you feel something before everything goes absolutely wrong? You can’t.

But it’s unimportant. A knock comes at the door and you scramble to your feet, flushing the toilet and rinsing out your mouth before opening the door. It’s Idia. He gives you a look and starts stripping, turning on the shower and handing you a hair tie.

“You look sick. What’s wrong with you?”

“O-oh, I… I don’t know. I feel fine.” You’re not sure how to tell him, so you lie. Maybe you won’t have to tell him. You pull his hair into a bun and he hops into the shower.

You stand there for a moment and he peeks his head around the door at you, “What are you doing? You want to join me?”

“Huh? Oh, no. Just thinking.”

“Go see if Ortho can get you some aspirin or something so you can start acting normal again.” He mutters.

You leave. It’s fine. Idia’s dorm room is always cold. He keeps it like that on purpose. If you’re cold and he doesn’t provide much more than these stupid skimpy pajama sets that are cute but are also thin, so you’re more likely to cuddle up to him or wear his hoodies. At least he has good taste in that.

You don’t really feel like undertaking the task of looking through his closet, so you take a seat in Idia’s gaming chair, which is still warm from him sitting in it, and sigh, laying a hand over your belly. He said that Ortho was here, but he must be out getting breakfast, since you didn’t immediately hear his high voice shrilling in your ears, “Good morning!”

You like Ortho just fine. He’s not your ally, but being around him is better than being around Idia. You wished he’d been gone for longer. You sigh and your head begins to hurt, “Hi, Ortho.”

He giggles a little and puts down the takeout bag, smiling as he turns back to face you. And then he just stares, chartruse eyes boring into you.

“Ortho, is there a problem?” You can’t hold your tongue about this any longer. You have a headache and honestly you just want to take a fat nap and let the world, small as it has become for you, deal with itself.

Before he can respond, Idia strolls out of the bathroom, lazily greeting Ortho, “Hey, Ortho.”

“Hello!” His voice is just so grating. You want to throw something.

“Mmm.” Idia glances at you, walking over and nudging your shoulder with the back of his hand, like he’s shooing an animal, “Go lay down.”

“I don’t-”

“Did you ask Ortho for-”

“Would you stop interrupting me?” You snarl, turning to look at him.

He stiffens ever so slightly, then hunches down and digs through the takeout bag Ortho brought in, “Are you acting like this because you’re on your period?”

“Did you really just ask me-”

This time, it’s Ortho, not Idia, who interrupts you, “Oh, they won’t be having a period for a while.”

Idia freezes. You freeze. Ortho goes back to what he was doing, humming as he makes the bed. Idia turns to narrow his eyes at you, his eyes sliding down to look at your midsection and feet, and his eyes roll back into his head and he’s hitting the ground. Maybe if you cared more about him, you’d check to make sure that he was fine, but as it is now, you don’t really have the energy or wherewithal to do so. You rush into the bathroom and cower near the toilet, like there’s a tornado or something outside. You’re distressed.

He doesn’t know it, but Ortho just vocalized the actualization of all your fears, the culmination of your meager existent, all rolled up into this… this parasite in your stomach. You swallow your incoming hysteria and make a decision. You’re going to get up. You’re going to get a change of clothes. You’re going to take a shower. And you’ll be fine. You’ll figure this out. You always have before. You’ll do it again.

When you exit the bathroom, Ortho is blowing air into Idia’s pallid face, and Idia is groaning. You ignore the pair and go to the closet. You grab a change of clothes, the rabbit-themed set of pajamas, you walk into the bathroom, you turn on the water. About as soon as the stream hits your back, you’re screaming. Sobs break from your chest like a hammer going into ice, smashing its way out despite every effort you make to keep it together. You’ve barely got the peace of mind to quickly wash yourself, and when you exit- the water is cold, too cold for comfort- you dry. You feel twitchy, after crying so hard. You tug on the spaghetti strap shirt, the bunny face stretching against your skin, and then you’re staring at the hanger.

You remember reading something, a long, long time ago. You were far too young to be reading this type of thing, the gorier parts of feminism and women’s rights, but… you remember a passage. The wire twists apart easily as you remember the story. A woman, desperate to be rid of the parasitic growth in her womb, just as desperate as you are now, used a wire coat hanger to remove it. It’s been so long that you can’t remember how it ended for her, but you remember the rest very clearly. The bent end, no longer crooked after you bent it, slips into your opening so easily. You can barely feel it. then the door opens, you freeze, and you hear Ortho scream.

“Idia!” He yells, and there are footsteps and a moment of silence.

You look up at Idia’s honey-colored eyes that are glued to the wire hanger sticking out of your body, see the way both of the Shroud boys are looking at your current unfinished action, see the slow spread of crimson into Idia’s long hair, starting at the tips and spreading like, well, like fire, to the roots. There’s that familiar three-tap warning, and then you drop the hanger, clutching at the collar as the strongest shock you’ve ever felt hits you like a truck. It’s worse than the time you didn’t want to hang out with him, worse than the times you’d stray too close to the door. It forces you to your knees, sets your body into convulsions that shake the twisted hanger out of you, makes you foam at the mouth.

Somewhere under your anguish, you think you hear Ortho robotically say, “BPM reaching critical levels.”

The current stops and your body stops convulsing, relaxing so hard that your world, small as it has become, goes black. When you awake, you’re reliving a distant memory: you’re bound, hands and ankles, on the bed. You’re dressed again, one of Idia’s hoodies draped over you like a blanket, and Idia is just staring at you, holding your collar. He looks pissed, but his hair isn’t red, at least. He’s noticed you’re awake, but he’s not saying anything. He turns slightly in his gaming chair and throws the strap of leather on his desk, the wiring fried. There are holes burnt into the leather, and Idia stares at it blankly before he starts typing away on his tablet, his own voice coming through the device.

It sounds about as burnt out as the shock collar looks, “I bet you feel pretty bad, huh?”

You don’t dignify that with a response. It doesn’t matter to him, since his fingers fly as he keeps typing away.

“You’re a fucking moron. Only someone stupid would try to-” He doesn’t finish the sentence and hits the desk, standing up and pacing. You can’t see him, but you can hear him panting.

You try to de-escalate, sort of. The shock collar isn’t around your neck anymore, but you really don’t need him to work himself up again, “The word is ‘desperate.’ I don’t want… I don’t want this. This thing growing inside of me, I don’t-”

“You’re not the only one with a parasite.” His voice is quiet but seething. It breathily cuts through the air like a knife, aiming for your soft parts, “You just have the privilege of being able to get rid of yours comfortably.”

“Really? So you putting this thing in me isn’t as bad as I think it is?”

He paces back into view and you notice something missing. Someone missing. You lift your head a bit to look around and Idia takes a heavy seat at his desk again. This state is rare. It takes him a while to relax when he gets like this, but you’ve only seen it aimed at others, like that time his account got temporarily banned because one of his party members was hacking. At least that had an easy solution for him- you’ve never seen him grin as much as when he had the poor guy swatted and watched through the CCTV cameras around the poor fool's house.

“We’re going home. I’ll fix your little problem twofold, since I’m the only competent one between the two of us.” He types out, his recorded voice not lagging once.

“What? And what do you mean you have a parasite?”

He doesn’t look at you, but you think you see him wipe his cheek with his sleeve, typing with only one hand, “Ortho is gonna come back with some burn cream. I lost my temper and you got hurt. Not that you didn’t deserve it.”

“I didn’t deserve any of this. I asked you if you had a condom.”

He doesn’t respond to that statement, instead typing, “I don’t love you. You know that, right? Love is for the idealistic masses, those who aren’t capable of keeping their feet on the ground. You’re just someone who has taken up a space in my mind. So the solution to yours won’t be permanent. Seven knows my parents will be getting on my case about providing them an heir eventually.”

“So I’m just here for eventual marriage security?”

Idia doesn’t respond. Ortho strolls in, placing a tube on Idia’s desk and goes out of your line of sight, seemingly to tidy or something. You don’t really care. He’s not your ally. He’s never been.

Idia sighs, then goes back to working on something on his desk. You don’t know how much time passes, but he loops it around your throat and unties you. It’s sitting a bit lower on your neck, just against your collarbones. There’s a three-tap warning, but no shock afterward. Just the flat look on Idia’s face.

“I should start calling you ‘baby’, kitten. It’d be so much easier for you to understand your position.”

“That’s not funny.” You say, “I never asked you to bring me here.”

Idia shrugs, “Well, I don’t think of you as a pet. With the way you act, you might as well be a pest.” He grins, sharp teeth on display, “Maybe I should put out some glue traps… or start dosing you with raw garlic and ivermectin.”

He starts laughing, and you feel your eyes well with tears. You tell yourself it's the pregnancy hormones. Idia laughs harder at your expression.

“Aw, kitten, I’m just teasing. Come sit with me.”

“But I-” That three-tap warning from your new collar cuts you off. You stand up and start walking the two steps between the bed and Idia’s desk. When you reach your hands towards the collar, it zaps you. It’s quick and not too painful, but it gets you moving towards Idia. When you take a seat on his lap, he leans to bury his nose in your hair, a thrilled noise escaping him. He drops the burn cream in your lap.

He just watches you as you unscrew the lid and reach for your neck. There’s a three-tap warning again- bzz bzz bzz- but you ignore it. The second your fingers barely graze your throat with the cream, you get zapped, short and swift, but uncomfortable enough. You drop your hand and it goes away. When you look up at Idia, he takes the cream from your other hand and presses a soft kiss to your cheek, using his free hand to click into one of his many tabs for some anime streaming site.

“Good. It works.” Is all he says.

As he dabs the cream onto the electrical burns on your neck, you have to blink away the despair again. It’s settled over you like a blanket, eaten holey by moths and worms. Every move you make is accompanied by tentative fear, a worry that Idia will do something awful if you do certain things. You never once considered it would go this far, though. Ortho drops something onto Idia’s bed, a hefty-looking luggage set, and Idia pays him no mind as he tucks away some clothes. You don’t want to admit it, but you don’t want to be around any more people under Idia’s thumb, whether they know it or not.

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abeautifulblog · 1 year ago

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Thoughts on the Radovid romance

A couple people have asked about the Radovid/Jaskier relationship, and I thought it was... fine? As fine as anything in this show gets?

I wasn't expecting it to dethrone Geralt/Jaskier, because 20+ years of Jaskier building his life and legacy around Geralt is a lot more compelling than Some Twink He Met Yesterday, but I did go into it with a genuinely open mind. Everyone on tumblr was gushing over their chemistry, and I was like, Yea I'd believe it, given that this is Joey Batey we're talking about. So I was expecting to enjoy it the way I'd enjoyed the Yennskier content in S2, the rare treat of two characters having a real emotional connection.

And then I watched it, and it wasn't bad, but the relationship was a lot more disjointed (and their "chemistry" a lot less compelling) than tumblr had led me to believe. (Lol, mea culpa, I should have known better than to take tumblr's word for it.) Also it’s unclear whether it’s supposed to be a cute romance, or whether it’s two people using each other for their own ends?

But it did brush up against some interesting thoughts I'd had before about Jaskier and his patrons, and got me to thinking about consent and power dynamics again, because I am THEE MOST predictable little beastie in fandom. 🤣

First off, I'm not sure what we're supposed to make of Radovid. Obviously he's ~hiding his true self~ in some way, but I can't tell if we're meant to take at face value the side of himself he shows Jaskier -- that he's more intelligent than he's been letting on, and is actually deeply lonely in the empty-headed partyboy role he's been playing, desperate for genuine connection and for someone to truly see him for who he is -- or whether that is yet more deception, and this is all part of some big ambitious scheme that he'll whip out in a mustache-twirling villain reveal. There are elements that make me think it's the latter, but Hugh Skinner's acting is also just weird (and why are his eyes so wet o_o), and I can't tell whether that's supposed to be deliberate foreshadowing, or if, once again, the people making the show are just clueless about how their creative choices are coming off.

(I assume this will get answered at some point, possibly already has in part 2, but I haven't watched that yet.)

Honestly, the part that caught my interest the most was when Jaskier showed up at Radovid's salon wanting to talk about new intel he had on Rience, and Radovid was blithely uninterested, just wanted Jaskier to sing for them -- and then proceeded to casually, completely disregard Jaskier's No.

gremble: Oho? 👀

That's a red flag! 😊 Jaskier tried to set a boundary, and Radovid brushed right past it. And in any competently-executed piece of media, I would expect that to be deliberately signaling something. It doesn't necessarily mean that Radovid is evil -- could just mean he's a crown prince who doesn't have much experience with people telling him No -- but seeing him blithely override Jaskier's wishes in a low-stakes situation sets a bad precedent, and foreshadows how he might behave later, when the stakes might well be higher.

...Except that this production team is so HILARIOUSLY bad at writing healthy relationships -- for three seasons they've been feeding us the most toxic slop imaginable and telling us that's what love looks like -- that I have no idea whether that was on purpose or not. 😂😂😂

The Radovid storyline does touch on some concepts that I've long found fascinating, about Jaskier's system of patronage and how he trades on his sexuality. How his work is canonically sex work, or at least sex-work adjacent (that's made explicit when he talks about the Countess de Stael, that they were involved sexually while she was supporting him financially), and the balancing act of keeping his patrons happy when they are always, always going to be second in his affections to Geralt -- and how they probably wouldn't be too happy to learn that.

Because for all that S3 tells us Jaskier is developing a crush on Radovid, Joey Batey's acting says something very different. He did not come off as a man in love, to me -- he came off as someone who's acutely aware that when the crown prince of Redania rolls up and tells you he's your biggest fan, you fucking smile for him.

(Why yes, Moulin Rouge is my all-time favorite movie, why do you ask? 🤣)

Jaskier's interactions with Radovid feel very... 'calculated' isn't quite the word for it, but Jaskier is conscious of the power differentials there, and always carefully choosing what he does and says in light of what he knows Radovid wants from him. He's conscious of having to keep Radovid happy, yes but he's also conscious of what he stands to gain from having a crown prince clamoring to win his affections, and what he could leverage out of that. (Like, say, having the entire Redanian army to protect his little found family.)

And the power imbalance isn't entirely one-directional either. Radovid wants Jaskier's affections, something that can't be bought or coerced, and wants his specifically, which means Jaskier has all the power to give or withhold it... while also being aware that toying with a prince's affections is a dangerous game.

........Or maybe I entirely misread that, and Jaskier's feelings for Radovid are meant to be genuine, and the whole thing was supposed to be a cute little romance. The way that Joey & the production team have talked about that relationship makes it sound like that's what they were going for, but what's onscreen is very ambiguous.

It will surprise no one to learn that I think the more interesting option would be the one that complicates Jaskier’s motives. That even if he likes Radovid well enough, he's still deliberately leveraging Radovid's crush on him to get help for Geralt -- and that if he oversteps, he's risking the wrath of a very powerful man. (And that as the perceived rival, Geralt could wind up as the target of Radovid’s retribution.)

Anyway, it's a fascinating situation, and almost identical to a fic premise I've been tossing around for years. It's never quite coalesced enough to get written, but it does compel me.

(Alternately, if you wanted Radovid to be noble and tragic, @coffee-mage-sans-caffeine suggested a situation in which Radovid and Geralt are in peril together, one of them is not going to make it out of this, and Radovid sacrifices himself so Geralt lives -- because he knows which of them Jaskier loves more.)

#witcher shit #radskier #witcher meta #twn season 3

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tracingpatternswrites · 8 months ago

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Married at First Sight - The Honeymoon

(Start from the beginning)

Welcome back to the second week of this season’s Married at First Sight. In this episode, our newlyweds jet off on their honeymoon and some of them are off to a bit of a rocky start. Will they manage to overcome their first hurdle as a married couple or is the ship already sinking?

Read on AO3.

Snippet below:

Remus closed the door and sat down on the bed, turning the handheld camera that they had been given from the production team over in his hands. He took a deep breath as he settled against the headboard, staring blankly straight ahead for a moment as he tried to get his thoughts in order.

They were three days into their honeymoon and Remus had no idea what to make of any of it. At first he had felt as if it was all a dream, living in this glorious villa on the outskirts of Otranto in southern Italy with the sea stretching out in front of them, the clear blue skies, the swimming pool and the sun.

Now, he wasn’t so sure.

Things between himself and Sirius were… fine, but not much more than that and he couldn’t put his finger on why. Nothing was bad , per se, but they hadn’t really moved forward either, at least not in the way that Remus had hoped.

Sirius was nice, kind, but he still felt a little distant. They were sleeping in the same bed, but nothing had happened between them. They hadn’t even kissed since the wedding, and it wasn’t for Remus’ lack of want. He had found himself staring at Sirius on more than one occasion over the past couple of days, when he was sprawling in a sun lounger or doing strokes in the pool, unable to get his head around the fact that it was his husband he was looking at.

Remus was ridiculously attracted to him, and just this morning he had woken up with a lingering dream and a raging hard-on. He had sneaked into the bathroom, running the shower so that he could jerk himself off without being overheard. He knew that Mary’s quip about him being unable to go a full week without dick had been a joke, but now he was starting to believe she had a point. He didn’t usually struggle like this, but then he had never been married to someone like Sirius Black before either.

Remus was used to physical affection, to touches, and he felt secure enough in his sexuality. Even though it wasn’t the be-all and end-all in a relationship, there was no denying that it was an important part for him and the fact that Sirius didn’t seem to think so bothered him. He also had no idea how to bring it up.

Before the wedding, the experts had pointed out to them that communication was crucial for this to work out, but Remus was at a loss as to where to start. His old insecurities, that he wasn’t good enough or not attractive enough, were already growing in the back of his mind and the longer he waited, the louder the doubts became.

He took a deep breath as he held the camera up in front of himself, pressing rec.

“So, this feels weird,” he mumbled, adjusting the little display so that he could see himself in it and he exhaled a sigh. “Sirius has gone out for a bit so I figured… might as well take some time to do this.”

He fell silent again, pondering how to continue.

“This is our second full day here in Otranto and it’s… beautiful. The place, I mean; the house and the surroundings, the views. We’re right by the sea and it’s… perfect, really. Everything’s perfect, except for… well, I don’t know. I don’t know what I WAS expecting, really, marrying a total stranger, but I guess it’s just sort of landed with me now. That we don’t… know each other, I mean.

“I feel like I can’t read him. There’s nothing… he’s not rude or anything, but I feel like I can’t really get through to him. He deflects my questions, tosses them back to me and before I know it we’re back to talking about me again.” He stops, unable to stop the corner of his mouth from tugging upwards slightly. “He’s good at that, he must’ve had a lot of practice.”

Remus heaved a sigh, dropping his head back against the wall behind him and staring up at the ceiling as he continued to talk.

“He’s… really nice, sweet, polite. And so fucking hot, I mean… fucking hell. Those arms? His thighs? He’s fucking gorgeous and he’s a… gentleman. He opens doors and pulls my chair out and compliments my clothes even though they’re nothing special. He’s so bloody nice and– is it wrong that the only thing I want him to do is to push me onto the bed, or against the wall I’m not fussy, and just fucking ra–“ he stopped himself abruptly, throwing an embarrassed look at the display as he groaned at himself. “I cannot believe I just… cut that out, please, that was… fuck’s sake, Lupin.”

He shook himself slightly, huffing out a low breath as he collected himself again, trying not to think too much about how great Sirius had looked earlier that day, lazing around by the pool. Right. Focus. He cleared his throat.

“This is all about communication, eh? It’s what the experts kept saying before everything. So, I guess we should… communicate. I just wish– just wish he’d show me something real . He’s very polite, well-behaved, so… nice and still I spend all the fucking time wondering if he really likes me or if he’s just pretending to.”

Remus paused, his brows pulling together as he considered what he’d just said.

“And I realised… I don’t know if I like him either. How can I know, when I don’t know him? He’s fit, he’s nice, but I still have absolutely no idea who he is . I suppose that’s what I need to figure out.” He stopped again, looking at himself in the display, and he gave a firm nod. “No time like the present, eh? I’ll start tonight.”

He turned the camera off, and barely a moment later he heard the sound of the front door. Just in time, then. He half-expected Sirius to call out for him, to wonder where he was, but there was nothing but the sound of someone rummaging around downstairs. Remus heaved a sigh as he put the camera away.

He went for a slosh, looking at himself in the mirror as he washed his hands afterwards. He tanned easily, and the time he’d spent in the sun had been good for him. He felt good, the warm weather always helped with that. His Ma had always said he was made for warmer weather than the damp north of England and she seemed to be right.

He took a deep breath; he needed to be brave and just push through, not let Sirius change the topic on him.

He could do this.

Continue on AO3.

#mafs #mafs wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #muggle au #reality tv au #my writing

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dimdiamond · 1 year ago

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You know I was just reading the tintin books originally from the first one and I can tell I didn't like the way herge handled the drinking situations with haddock,like in most of the stories he didn't really give a damn about anything but his whisky lol,nowdays the regular fans or people only talk or joke about his attachment to drinking I feel like he could be much more than that,in some stories he was even literally annoying like in that whole moon business or in calculus affair the guys were talking about calculus's safety and here he was only asking or thinking for a drink lol💀I know it was all for jokes or to make people laugh but I didn't like that haddock was all about drinking,the only time he took anything seriously for a bit rather than drinking was in the red sea sharks lmao I feel like he just had more potential than to just act as a drunken man,what do you think of it?

OMG MY FAVOURITE TOPIC, CAPTAIN HADDOCK!

Ok but I totally agree with you, especially in the early works the way the drinking problem is handled is just so off puting, so weird. It's always used for jokes and I confess that I have laughed with many of them but that doesn't mean I'm totally fine with them.

On one side I understand that these jokes are also a product of Herge's time and in general the conversation about alcoholism and other addictions wasn't as excessive and as developed as now (not that we treat them any better but at least there is now the aknowledgement of the problem and real efforts to be taken seriously). However we can't ignore that these jokes have aged poorly.

Besides the nature of the jokes themselves, I think the amount of them have done bag things to the character's reputation. Herge wanted to repeat the familiar jokes but he put them so many times that now most people remember Haddock for his alcoholism than all the other virtues he has shown.

[Surprisingly and maybe unpopular opinion but I did like how this was handled in the Spielberg movie. Yes it was used as a joke all the time but Tintin never encouraged Haddock drinking and he even got mad when he thought that Haddock drank (I still cry with this scene). Haddock tries to stop himself from drinking and he manages that two times, with the last one being such a great moment. He is also shown to realize his problem and not being proud of himself and he still tries to do better, to be better. And that's the core of Haddock's character. He is a man that reached the bottom and stood up again, he just needed the right push.]

In the later comics the drinking jokes are still there but I notice they're more about in how many ways we can prevent Haddock from drinking, reaching the Picaros where he can't even drink anymore. I think this is an improvement of the joke compared to before.

I want to stay on the example you mentioned with the moon case. Haddock's drinking and eventually endangering everyone because of it is never dealt lightheartedly. It's the first time we see Tintin losing his composure and yelling. Tintin, who until now never yelled at Haddock no matter what he did, is so angry and so disappointed that he yells. After that Haddock is immediately shown to be truly guilty and asking for forgiveness and of course Tintin forgives him. They don't mention it again and Haddock doesn't drink again.

Let's count how many times Haddock was completely drunk to the point of being dangerous for himself and others. Two. The first in his first appearance, in The Crab With The Golden Claws, and the second in the Explorers On The Moon. The two cases seem not similar but they do have one thing in common. Both times Haddock felt trapped and having no control over his own life and the only thing that felt in his control was alcohol. In Karaboudjan he felt trapped and Allan and the rest taking his freedom. In the rocket he felt trapped and before going he had tried so many times to get away from it and told so many times that he didn't want to participate but no one listened. We can't ignore the pattern here, alcohol for Haddock is his mean to regain control of himself and get courage. He needed a lot of time to take this matter in his hands and I don't think it's a coincidence we don't see him that drunk after the moon. In that case, he seemed to realize that he is not alone, his freedom isn't stolen but shared with his friends and freedom comes with responsibility and consequences. In both times Tintin is endangered and yet he doesn't abandon Haddock and saves him. In the first time, Tintin gave Haddock, a stranger, the comfort and courage to stand up and believe in himself again. In the second time, Tintin gave Haddock, his closest friend, a good shaking and scolding to stop being selfish and realize he's not alone anymore.

It's easy to diminish Haddock's character to his drinking. It's not fair though. Haddock has shown many MANY great virtues, since his first appearance even! In The Crab With The Golden Claws he didn't give Tintin although he was literally whipped and tortured to talk. In the Seven Crystal Balls he did everything to find Calculus. In the Red Sea Shark he literally shines. In Tibet he follows Tintin even though he thinks it's nonsense and he was ready to sacrifice himself for him. He has shown with words and actions that he's a philanthropist and strongly against racism and slavery and war. He is kindhearted, loyal and honest. He is a great friend and for all these Tintin and the rest characters chose him to be their friend and never gave up on him.

I simply wish fans could see all these stuff that Haddock is without drinking and not limit their perception and opinion on him from just drinking jokes.

Idea: let's stop making alcohol jokes and start the jokes about mineral water!

#thank you so much for this ask!#i wanted to talk about this topic a long time now #i love haddock but this drinking jokes were too much herge #i am haddock supporter and i will die on this hill #captain haddock #archibald haddock #tintin #the adventures of tintin

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parasolids · 1 month ago

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OKAY im turning into a gloomy pessimist nightmare again so list of times i felt good in the past week

-during my 1:1 with my boss we had some chill silly conversation it was nice

-texting my homie from texas about pokemon and talking poke sonas and having that to chew on

-got a good mac n cheese from a cafe i rarely visit (weird hours)

-got to see a band whose concerts i really like. show was good! i liked the opener a lot too. wrecked myself bad moshing, was sore all over for days and took a fall. was pretty scared bc im learning guitar from the guitarist of that band and was like what if its weird that i show up (having seen them 2x before) but it was fine we had a normal conversation i think. also the merch girl followed me back on twitter which was cool

-had some very intense nightmares but at least they were interesting ones

-laughing in fear on the craziest rides at the amusement park

-got chased by a scare actor in a haunted house. i knew he wouldnt touch me so i let him get as close as he could and he faked out hitting me with his studded bat

-i thought my work friend maybe hated me but we hung out in her office i think we're ok?

-got some cool new washi tapes that id been waiting for like a month to arrive

-tried to donate blood to get past my needle phobia. got deferred again (5th or 6th time - this time it was bc i had low blood pressure) but at least i got free oreos and a funny story

-boss asked me to test a couple cars to get data which ended up being chill since i had to idle them for half an hour each. ran into one of the other product development engrs out there whos about my age and we had some fun being silly together

#straight up miserable and out of it most of my waking hours but i'll make it out i'll do it #cactus.txt

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pbandjesse · 5 months ago

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I am struggling to keep my eyes open. I am ridiculously tired. I did not get much sleep last night and was just a little tired all day. It was not a bad day though and was a good way to end the week.

When I woke up this morning after only sleeping 4 hours I didn't feel to horrible. At least when it came to being tired, actually feeling I was so wildly hot. 105 feels like heat. And I'm lucky to mostly be in the shade but it was so so stupidly hot.

Before it got to hot I would spend a half hour collecting berries to fill a jar. It was fun. I tried to remember the rule for foragers about leaving some for other. I also went for manly ones that I didn't think the campers would access. More off the beaten path ones. And they are always the most beautiful color.

I would hang in my hammock while I waited for my first group. It was a little damp from the rain and smelled a little musty but it was fine. I just wanted to cool down.

At 920 I went to sit inside to wait for my group. But they never came. I felt really annoyed after waiting 25 minutes I called their villager director and they gave me a weird attitude about checking.

Tony would come up at 1005 and let me know that the group was still coming and I laughed out loud. I would barely get through the instruction in that time! He agreed with me after seeing what the project was. And would tell the girls to not bother coming to arts and crafts. I felt bad but there was just no way I could make it work.

So I wouldn't have a group until 1030. And that group was great. Girls. Made the lizards. We're sweet. And I was just happy they were having fun.

Lunch was stressful. The SSCs were tubing so they weren't there to serve the meal. The ropes staff would jump right in. I would get permission to get mayo and would make an egg salad and potato chip sandwich. I ate out side and felt a little embarrassed when Aaron called me over and I was a little snippy (because I was so hot) but he was offering me some birthday cake. Which was really nice. I would have loved cake but my teeth were bring a little bit mainly I was worried it wouldn't make me feel nice. Though I would have loved the cake but I still said no.

Because I was on a mission. I had heard a rumor that came had gotten us swag. Specifically a fake Stanley style cup. There were multiple colors and I needed the light blue/purple one so bad.

So I got right to the office. Got a big hug from Heather. Who asked if I still work there after barely seeing me all week but I counted that every time I came by she was busy!!

Soon though Alexi would direct me to the gator next time the office or get my swag. A new fanny pack (that I'm giving to Jess), a fan, a note book, a flash light, and the cup! I got one of the last of the light blue/purple. I was so happy.

Ray, who was handing out the swag, had me sign off that I picked up my stuff. And then it was back to art to chill.

I had three more groups. Two day camp and the tipis kids. And it was fun. The day camp were very sweet and tired very hard. The one group was day camp two and I wasnt originally going to have them do bead lizards and was a little caught off guard when they wanted to do them.

And so with the help of the counselor we would get every little baby a bead lizard to take home. Apparently there has been some coveting over the project because of different patterns and colors. Pretty cool that they liked this product so much.

Finally it was tipis. They would be all over the place, in a good way. I had been finishing with day camp 2 when they got in and because tipis is great they just waiting inside and started working on stuff without me.

But I would get the little kids finished and sent off. And jumped into showing the ones who wanted to know how to make bead lizards and having cats with others. I had two girls learning how to make a lanyard out of gimp string. I set them up to watch a video and then would figure it would pretty quickly. I was very proud.

I would eat them go through my get rid of pile clothes. And they all helped clean up and pack up the materials. I was very happy.

I would spend the next half hour or so, after saying goodbye to the group, prepping for next week's project. Print making on 3 ways. I have high hopes because it's been so good in the past but you never know.

It was a really easy drive home after that. I would pack some snacks for the market tomorrow and my two bags. And would be home by 430.

I was already struggling to keep my eyes open on the road but I did it. And got home before I killed myself. I would check on all the animals. Cleaned some snails out of the frog tank. The two remaining frogs after the loss of one of the toast brothers.

After finishing some chores and taking showers, me and James would go for a walk when they got home. Over to CVS to see if they had a better wrist brace for me because I need something more specific. And then we went to the pizza place. Where I ordered manicotti and fries and James got a burger.

Walking home was though felt like death. It was so impossibly hot in the sun. The barely 10 walk was going to kill me.

When we got home I went to lay in our room. And James would bring food and it was good. But tasted almost like curry?? Confusing but not bad. The garlic bread tastes really good but a different texture then expected. The fries were excellent. And I got a strawberry Dr pepper that was ice cold and it was great.

I've spent the rest of this evening lounging and eating to many snacks and trying to fight your eyes to stay open .

But I think I will let myself sleep now. I have a big market tomorrow and I'm really excited but also really nervous. So wish me luck. I love you all. Goodnight!!

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theafrochick · 1 year ago

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my red flag is I'll wake up and be hurtled into a silly goofy mood so i write shit like this to cope. I like the idea of putting this in the long fic im deluding myself into thinking I'm going to write but for now have a snippet i guess since it'd feel weird posting this on ao3? idk.

we love stolas having a mental breakdown. and we also love asmodeus being along for the ride cus Asmodeus playing bob the builder with Stolas would fulfill all my needs in life actually.

something something projection and copium

Anyway

Pairing is: stolas & asmodeus. hurt/comfort

Word count: 2,741

I got sick of writing this lmao ignore the ending.

“What else is this supposed to be about then? I don’t know why we keep doing this when you found somebody else’s dick to hop on.”

“W-what on earth are you talking about?” Anxiety stabbed into you as you hug your grimoire to your chest. This was supposed to be a conversation. This was supposed to fix everything and instead if was devolving faster than you could have dreamed.

“Don’t play dumb Stolas, you and Asmodeus are plastered across every tabloid this side of hell. At least have the balls to admit that you’re just keeping me around as a side piece.”

“No, no, Blitzy it’s not like that. We’re friends! I’m doing him a favor, I would never do something like that. What do you take me for?” Blitz takes a step back when you try to approach him, an unfamiliar look of disdain crossing his features. A knot settles in your chest as you felt yourself shrink before him.

You knew you were a hypocrite for wanting him to believe that you wouldn’t cheat considering your relationship was a product of an affair, but you assumed his jealousy would be resolved when he realized Asmodeus was in a very committed relationship of his own. Clearly that wasn’t enough but you weren’t sure what else you could do for him. It felt like it didn’t matter at the end of the day. You had done for this him but he would never believe you if you actually said that. Or it’d somehow add more fuel to this never ending fire.

“I don’t see what kind of favor you needed him that involves you needing to hang all over him. If its about that stupid necklace you gave me so you wouldn’t have to see me anymore then consider the hint taken. You didn’t have to whore yourself out to get away from me.”

“I didn’t- I’m not- Please just listen to me, I only gave you that because-” You try to approach again. Blitz takes several steps back, folding his arms over his chest. Whatever faint connection you had to him snapped in that moment. The fact that there wasn’t anything to try and fix hit you like a truck and you the desire to cling to the vast nothing you had been given evaporated. You didn’t want to fight anymore. You were so tired of it. You suck in a breath, forcing yourself to straighten. Forcing yourself to not reach for him again even though a small part of you still wanted to. “Fine. If that’s how you feel then we can consider this the conclusion of any business we might have with one another. This 14th or any other are yours for the taking.”

You suck in another breath, then turn and take the stairs back into your house at a measured pace. In the resulting silence, filled by the bubbling of the fountain in the courtyard, you hoped that he wouldn’t actually let you walk away. But then the van door opened and closed. You opened the door to the foyer. The engine starts and fades just as quickly. You close the door, the click of the latch echoing through your head.

You’re fine. It’s okay. This is okay.

You feebly tried to placate yourself as you made your way through the house to put your grimoire away. If you didn’t it’d leave room for everything else to take root and even if you were pathetic, you refused to cry yourself to sleep on the entryway floor. This wasn’t the first time you just had to keep it together for a little while. What a handful of minutes compared to the other countless hours you had spent hiding from yourself.

But the grimoire never made it back to its place, because you were used to not having it. Because you had put a new book in its place. Because that book didn’t even fit well in your organization scheme but the blank space hurt to look at when you missed Blitz. Because you could handle the slight annoyance that it was in the wrong spot than look at that hole. Because if you moved that book to put your grimoire away then you’d have to find a new place for the wrong book. Because you didn’t have a place for it in the first place. Because then you’d end up reorganizing the mountain of books you had. Because after all that nothing would be the same. Because then you’d have to change. Because then you’d have to clean yourself. Because then you’d probably have to eat something. Because then you’d have to go to bed. Because then you’d have to wake up and grapple with the fact that you were as alone as you had felt your whole life.

Your knees give out and you curl into yourself. Between the sobs racking your body and the waves of anxiety that kept crashing over you you could barely breathe. Why is it always my fault?

How much more were you expected to give? You buried everything you wanted to the sake of others. You worried yourself sick. You overthought everything. You tarnished your birthright. You threw away whatever reputation you had t hat wasn’t trampled on by Stella. You couldn’t dig any deeper. There wasn’t any place you could hide from yourself anymore. You had nothing left and nothing to show for it. How was it still your fault that things ended up this way?

The vague burning sensation in your skin left behind from the feathers you hadn’t meant to rip out wasn’t enough to keep you grounded. And then more intentionally thinking that might leave you with something to grab onto as your magic misfired and bled into the room. Ichor seeped out of walls and pooled on the floor around you. The sound of cracking stone could scare be heard about the sound of your heart pounding in your aching chest. You’re making a mess, pull yourself together. This is unbecoming.

Normally a few sobering thoughts were enough for you to reign it in. To get some semblance of a grip on yourself and put yourself back together.

Not now. What was the point? You could stay there for as long as you wanted because nobody would care enough to come check on you. You could destroy the whole mansion and the only person who’d have to deal with it was you. This could just be another thing to add to the long list of things you couldn’t do right. Can’t be a prince. Can’t be a husband. Can’t be a father. Can’t be a boyfriend. Can’t be a boyfriend. Can’t take care of yourself. Can’t be left alone.

You squeeze your eyes shut, feeling your nails graze your skin before everything went silent.

“What the fuck...?”

You blink back into consciousness, cold from the ichor that had soaked into your clothes. Your head hurt, and your vision blurred. The tightness in your chest had subsided enough that you could at least breathe again. Maybe. Fresh anxiety wormed it’s way into you as Asmodeus cautiously pads over to you.

“Stolas, are you alright? What happened?”

You shove yourself into a sitting position, black spots dancing in your vision. A nervous laugh escapes you as you clap your hands together. “Oh, I was just...working on a spell.” Another nervous laugh. You set your soaked grimoire on the window seat, praying it was still legible. You could barely convince yourself that was an excuse let alone Asmodeus. Not when he was privy to everything that was going on and didn’t know how to let anything go. Not when you had unintentionally placed him in the middle of all of this.

“Wanna run that one by me again?” Asmodeus crouches in front of you, his head cocked earnestly to the side as he studies you.

“Just practicing…” You couldn’t bear to look at him as you forced the words out. Your stomach churned and your throat clenched. You weren’t sure if you were going to throw up or start crying again. Or both. “I’m fine, really. Do tell why you’re here.”

Asmodeus exhales sharply, resting his hand on the side of your face. He works his fingertips through your feathers to graze his claws against your skin. A tremor runs through you as the heat from his palm seeps into you. He always did run hot.

You fought the urge to sink into him, tension settling in your back as you sat a little straighter. “Really, I’ve just been out of practice so I thought it’d be good to reacquaint myself with some of the spells in the back of the book only I got distracted and it backfired a little. Nothing I can’t handle, I’m sure I did worse when I was younger. Haven’t we all?”

You weren’t sure what you were going on about as the room groaned and shifted around you. But saying nothing of any real substance was easier than sitting there in silence, trying not to look at him. This display was shameful, even if it was supposed to be private. Nothing was ever private. One way or another others always managed to wiggle their way in. If you said you fine eventually you’d mean it again and then things could go back to normal.

The chandelier gives from the added weight of the petrification and rips itself free of the ceiling. Asmodeus starts, whipping his head around to look at the pile of stone and plaster sitting on the floor. “Stolas…” He edges closer to you, cupping your face with his hands. “Don’t lie to me. It’s one thing if you want to be alone to work through whatever the fuck this is, but nobody who knows you and has half a brain would believe you’re fine right now.” He chose his words carefully, his drawl being the only thing that stopped an actual pause from forming.

You wring your hands together in your lap. For a moment you were a child being scolded for getting upset and all you could do was bear it. What good would admitting to anything do? If you did then it’d make this more real than it already was. So this was just another thing you could do. Pretend. Not anymore. You had felt the mask slipping for some time now but you never thought the day would come where you actually couldn’t put it back on. “It’d be a waste for you to worry about me when this whole thing is my fault.”

“I have a very hard time believing that.”

You shrug helplessly, pulling your face from his hands. “It always is… Things never should have gotten this far. I don’t know what I was thinking. I wasn’t that’s the problem. I never think. None of this ever would have happened if I just did what I was supposed to, but I never do. I can’t do anything right.” You suck in a breath, batting his hands away when he reaches for you. “Sorry, that was rather uncalled for. You should just go.”

“Do you mean that?”

Of course not.

You wipe your face on your sleeve, undoubtedly smearing black on the side of your face. “It’s for the best.”

You tense when Asmodeus pulls you into his lap. You couldn’t manage to protest as he wraps himself around you. “It’ll be okay, Stolas, you’ll make it through this.”

For a moment you could breathe. Your mind goes blank for an instant before everything comes rushing back to the surface again. It hurt, and you were certain that you wouldn’t be okay. You had never been okay. How were you supposed to start now?

“There, there, let it all out.”

You whimper softly, burying your face in Asmodeus neck while he gently rocks you. You always liked how unnaturally warm he was. When given the chance it was hard not to drift to his side whether it was warranted or not. The sickly sweet smell that clung to him usually assaulted your senses and relaxed you but now it just mingled with your shame and made you too acutely aware of the situation you were presently in.

Getting a handle on yourself felt more a priority than working through whatever this was supposed to be. You needed out of this. You needed Asmodeus to feel like he had gotten what he wanted so he could continue on. You couldn’t get used to this. You couldn’t start to depend on him. He wasn’t yours to need. Nobody was. You were too old to be throwing a tantrum because you couldn’t get what you wanted. That’s what this boiled down to wasn’t it? Once again you expected too much. It was your own fault for getting your hopes up. How could you end up surprised you were here? This had been coming for months and you should have accepted this then. You should have taken the inevitable with grace. Especially when you left him with everything he wanted. He’d never think about you again while you stupidly clung to things that only ever mattered to you.

Was that it? Was everyone always placating you because it was easier than dealing with this? Maybe you were unreasonable. Asmodeus was only here because you hadn’t said the right things. If you were a little stronger you’d be cleaning. And you’d move that stupid book someplace else. Or throw it away because you didn’t even need it, it was just the first one you saw. What was it even called? To think you fell apart over something that normally didn’t occupy an ounce of head space. I’m hopeless.

You blink a few times, abruptly all too aware of your body pressed against Asmodeus’. Of his steady breathing. Of his heart thudding in his chest. You had enough sense to be embarrassed without a twinge of anxiety so you had to confront the fact that you had to actually start picking up the pieces of whatever Blitz had broken inside of you countless times. There probably wasn’t even anything left at this point, but trying was really your only option when Asmodeus certainly wasn’t going to let you go back to tearing yourself and your house apart.

For now, you were mostly tired, and if you stayed like this any longer the idea of sleeping on his chest would have been tempting. Though this raised the question of you needing to get out of this and you were no closer to a solution than when the question was first posed. “Uhm...Asmodeus?”

“Yes, Stolas?” Asmodeus shifts you a little higher, nuzzling your neck.

“You may put me down, if you want.”

Asmodeus studies you for a moment. While the scrutiny still made you uncomfortable, it wasn’t nearly as unbearable as before. He seemed satisfied that you weren’t still spiraling out of control and eased you back onto the floor. You brace yourself on his shoulder and stand, a headache forming at your temples. “Why don’t you come stay with me tonight?”

“No, no I couldn’t possibly do that. It’s alright. This is a big place. There are other beds.”

Asmodeus hauls himself off the floor, momentarily distracted by the puddle off ooze he had put his hand in. “I also have other beds. Ones that aren’t covered in freaky black jizz. Besides, you need a bath and I know you aren’t going to take one. You’re probably not even going to change either and that look on your face says it all.” Asmodeus cuts you off, “girl you need to get a grip. I’m all for spending all day in bed, but at least do it in a clean one.”

You sigh, not really having the energy to argue with him. “I really wouldn’t want to put you out.”

“I have servants for a reason, only people you’re putting out are on payroll. Though word of advice,” he snaps his fingers, opening a portal into a very pink bathroom, “don’t let Froggy make your breakfast. He’ll do it because he knows you’re too nice to say no, and I think you’ve suffered enough for one week.”

“I’m not-” The protest died on your lips as you stepped into the bright light. You were already missing your room before the portal had closed. “Fizzarolli thinks I’m nice?”

“How could anybody think otherwise?”

#helluva boss #fanfic #stolas #asmodeus #my writing

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sigomaru · 9 months ago

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i incoherently ramble about how working on this was like on my art blog:

i left this out to dry for a few days, so now that it has indeed been a few days here are gifs of shots i liked in the final thing

shots i like didn't mean i actually liked working on them though (at the time the shot of old men running from the dog felt like a cop out to me). production is a wild thing. still, keeping the words of Miku of Hatsune true to heart, 'learn to complete things', i still had fun working on this overall!

when i was working on this, i had...less than a month to finish this. i thought that was fine, i had worked on music videos for school in much tighter schedules (the video with the song about kisaragi station was done in under a week)

did i mention that i'm god-awful at predicting how long it takes me to finish things?

the entire time i was really worried that my lack of proper planning beforehand would make the video incomprehensible to anyone but myself. would people question the dog? are people gonna notice the scenes i scrimped on? is valjean too passive in here, and so on and forth. but one thing i learned from other things i've made is that most of the time, i'm the only one who cares about stuff like that. as long as the story in the video is cohesive, it's probably ok, and people generally fill in the blanks themselves.

genuinely, i was blown away by the positive responses i got on the video, and especially people picking up on deliberate choices i made with the imagery! if people are able to get the symbolism i used in the video, then it will all have been worth it in the end. that being said i won't talk too much about what this and that means because i like seeing what people make of this

but past me didn't realise that people would receive this video that well, so the entire time, i had to ignore that corner of my brain worrying about the final output, internally chanting 'learn to complete things' over and over in my head.

again, my lack of proper planning scared me a little, because. well. the thing was barely storyboarded at all, save for a few scenes. and what i did storyboard had a lot of complex motions that i had to sacrifice to get it out by the end of the week.

(my pre-production stuff looks better than this i swear i just slack off if i alone am my own production crew) for example, that scene where they were eating was supposed to have this bit where the soup flashes back at an angry prisoner valjean. i was going to try to keep the Soup but at that point i was establishing a routine in the video, and i tried to rationalise dropping the shot with 'the second time they're eating, we don't get a soup shot, so it'd be weird to get a soup shot here if i'm trying to show a mundane daily life'.

on the note of barely storyboarded, the visuals for the first chorus were a nightmare to work on. in fact, they were the last part of the video to be completed! other scenes weren't fully boarded either (latter half of the second verse, bridge, first half of the final chorus) but i at least had some idea of what to do for them--the second verse is flashback zone and the final chorus was always going to have valjean running towards a falling javert with a shot that would connect directly from the bridge. and any grand idea i had in my head was easy to distill into something workable in a short amount of time.

but the first chorus? oh christ. absolutely head empty no thoughts. had a great starting shot with valjean nearly getting chomped but trying to transition into any other shot just felt so awkward. one earlier iteration was going to have valjean taming the wolf, but it would never come into play again in any of the later scenes. another iteration was going to have valjean attack the wolf for javert, but that made javert too much of a damsel. at some point i ended up coming up with that final shot for that scene where they hide in an alleyway, and then the trouble came with connecting the first and the last shots in a way that looked cool. like i said, working on it i felt like the way i handled it was a cop-out, but honestly, i think the editing portion saved it in the end. sometimes i forget just how much editing can add to shots that look limp when first drawn.

honestly, me talking about the first chorus just felt like

speaking of limp drawings, here are what the dog chomps used to look like before i added all those effects.

it's not so much a 'crunch' more than it is a 'nom'.

so to end this off--this sent my soul in the next dimension to finish. but i had fun and after a cooldown period i will do something like this again (i have two ideas in the backburner)

...

...as for the vocaloid cover, uh, there's not really much to say other than the fact that i was debating between two versions? between the masculine and the realistic one, the masculine one won as you can hear in the video.

normally this is the part where i make some kind of caption that's funny or related to the video, but honestly i'm just so glad i got this done in time

anyway happy valvert week part 2. the song is 命の食べ方 by eve

@valvertweek

#javert #jean valjean #valvert #les mis #les miserables #it's a video but it's still art #<- that's gonna be my new video tag from now on on here #if i do this sort of...post-commentary for future projects as well; i'll come up with a tag retroactively #but for now i think sharing work experiences is good

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k8rgrl · 1 year ago

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More kate venting. Israel/palestine shit below the cut. If you're here to argue, go fuck yourself. Show some damn compassion.

I'm legitimately tempted to block tags related to this shit at this point. It is so fucking exhausting hearing about it constantly. Yes. I know it's a fucking genocide. Yes. I know the idf is commiting countless warcrimes. What the fuck is signal boosting going to do??? Everyone who follows me fucking knows already!! We all fucking know!

I don't have money to throw at charities, I don't have the energy or time, or resources to volunteer, I can't do jack shit!

Can't even go to protests!

I live with my dad, my grandmother, and my grandfather.

I was raised jewish, both sides of the family. I'm not anymore, I'm pagan, but my granddad and gma are still.

My grandfather is an incredibly passionate, and caring guy. He saved me from a lot of really bad shit, and goes out of his way to help people who need it.

He even tried to be a good leftist. He doesn't know that, but he's got most of the right ideas.

Except he's a fucking zionist. And not even out of bigotry. It's out of primal fuckin fear and trauma that he would rather die than address.

It's so exhausting. He's got this weird fucked up idea that being critical of israel in any way what so ever is antisemitic. It's this absolutely mind-numbing thought terminating cliché.

Any time the slightest hint of the continent comes up, he becomes the most obnoxiously staunch Israel supporter.

I know he has no hatred in him. He just genuinely cannot understand that supporting palestine isn't the same as wanting every jew dead.

I'm not kidding, that's unironically what he believes. I don't have the heart to tell him I'm pagan when he's yelling with legitimate fear for his and my safety that pro-palestine people want me dead.

He's even admitted that the only difference in our stances is where the line is as to what's supporting palestine and what's supporting hamas.

And he's said if he ever caught me going to a "pro-hamas" protest he'd kick me out without hesitation.

That's already tiring enough, but I don't go to protests, so, fine, whatever. Not taking the risk now, that's for damn sure.

And then there's the fucking internet. Gods I hate how the internet has handled this shit.

Especially in leftist spaces. At least I can comfortably call right-wingers garbage takes for what they are and discard them.

And then, people on here have the gall to say shit like "i don't want to see any white people ever again say how china, the middle east and many others asian countries are censored and that people there have no rights, don't you dare to make fun of north korea when your president wants jail for people who deny the state of isr*el" (they censored it, not me)

How fucking dare you minimize other people's suffering because one group has it horrifically bad right now.

Where were you when yemeni people were being wholesale slaughtered? How about the Uyghurs?

Lemme guess, didn't have the energy? Didn't have any way to meaningfully help? JOIN THE FUCKING CLUB.

And for those of you degrading and mocking people who say vote, or contact your reps, fuck are we SUPPOSED to do?

Grab a plane ticket to an active warzone, and get murdered for a cause it would take a lifetime of traumatic horrors, or a phd to fully comprehend?

Riot in the streets for the sake of awareness, and get labelled a terrorist and ignored?

I'm not some fucking anarchist revolutionary. I'm a transfem barely able to self-motivate, who barely finds spoons for her productive hobbies, much less genocide awareness advocacy, while living in a household with a nearly 70 year old man who is so traumatized he'd rather call his granddaughter antisemitic than accept that being critical of israel isn't wanting him and every other jew in a fucking camp.

So yeah, I sure am just going to live my life like I was. What else am I supposed to do? Uproot my life and become yet another victim of a vicious cycle of colonialism? Become another voice yelling blindly into every void I can, in the vain hopes I convince someone of something I barely understand, after hours of research?

Support and advice appreciated, anything with an aggressive tone or call me something… dude, get some sunlight. Even just through a window. Go play with your pet, if you have one. Call a friend. Do anything except yell at a stranger on the internet.

0 notes

alicechess · 3 years ago

Text

The new nightguard (yandere Springtrap x f!reader) night 4

Words: 3718

Tw: Being beaten

You wondered in your backyard and started hanging your clothes, hoping that your work clothes will be dry before work. The day was pretty sunny considering it was winter. But annoyingly it was still freezingly cold. You picked up the last pair of pants and threw it over the clothes line, then grabbed a peg and put it onto the pants. Once you finished you felt oddly proud of yourself, you got something productive done today. Even if it was small, it was still something. You picked up your clothes hamper and opened the back door, then went to the laundry room and placed it on the floor. You checked the time on your phone which read 5pm. 'Dinner time already?' Time went by fast when you were busy.

You walked to the kitchen and prepared your favourite meal. Once it was finished you headed to the dining room and pulled out a chair and sat down. It felt weird to not stress as much during the day as you normally do. You slowly ate your food, thinking of what to do next. You counted with your fingers on what you did today. "I got the washing done, somewhat cleaned my room-"

"Y/n, it's nice to see you out of your room for once." Your father joked, patting your head.

You rolled your eyes, "Love you too, dad." Then continued to munch on your food.

He pulled out a chair and sat next to you, placing his hands on the table. "So, how's work been?"

You immediately stopped eating and looked at your dad, "Not good, but I'm at least getting it done." Then took another bite of your food, trying to savour it before having to speak again.

Your dads attitude changed to one of concern, "Do you want to talk about it? Work can be a bit tough at times, but you get used to it after a while."

You thought for a few moments. 'Should I try to talk to him about it again? No, I shouldn't. I tried at the hospital but he didn't believe me, why would I think it would work this time?' You sighed, fuck this stupid job.

"No thanks, I'll get through it though." You gave him a small smile. He could be good at times, but you still felt this small bit of anger towards him. The amount of pressure he has been putting on your for the past couple years has been slowly eating away at you. He probably had good intentions, but in the end all it did was cause problems. Being called lazy after trying your best, being degraded over and over again. Why does he act like everything is okay?

"Why not? You never talk to me about anything." He asked, a frown forming on his face.

"I just... you've been pressuring you me a lot for the past few years and, I feel like whatever I do is never enough for you." You sputtered out, maybe it was better to get at least this off your chest.

"Y/n, I'm sorry, I never intended to make you feel that way." He clasped his hand over yours, "I just wanted to motivate you to do better, and in the end you did get this job, right? So didn't it technically help you? You now get to go out and talk to others, and hey you even get your own pay. Isn't this a good thing overall? Are you not happy?"

He then looked away, "Am I not doing enough for you?"

You were shocked, however you put on a calm façade. You looked away from him and stared elsewhere. There's no point in arguing, that will just cause even more stress for you. He told you constantly that what you were doing wasn't enough, to the point you started to slowly break yourself down just to fit into his mould of a perfect daughter. You dug your nails into your skin and took a deep breath. 'This is fine.' You shrugged, then he let go of your hands.

"It's fine." You lied.

You scoffed down the rest of your food, grabbed your crutches and went over to the sink and placed the dishes into it, "It was nice talking to you but I have to do some paperwork." You replied, feigning a sympathetic smile.

Your father looked puzzled, but let it go. "Alright, well I'll be in the lounge room with your mother." He got out of the chair and pushed it in.

After he said that you went upstairs to your room, making sure to lock the door behind you. It's annoying when they randomly walk in. You sat on your bed then placed the crutches against the nightstand. Sometimes you pondered on why you even try to please them, as it feels like nothing you do is good enough.

You sighed, for the next few hours you continued to do some of your hobbies. It's good to at least be able to enjoy something in your life.

After a while you decided to check the time which read 10:30pm. You thought for a few moments and decided to go get the washing off the line. You got off the bed and grabbed your crutches then went downstairs. You picked up the clothes basket from the laundry then went to your backyard. Once you picked off all the clothes and placed them into the basket, you went back upstairs and poured all the clothes onto your bed. You folded and put them away besides your work ones.

You got changed into your clean clothes, which made you feel a bit better. You tidied yourself up by brushing your hair and applying some deodorant. After, you picked up your socks and boots then slid them on. Once you were finished you grabbed your bag which was on the floor, then went back downstairs. You grabbed a bottle from the cupboard and filled it with water, then you grabbed some snacks and put it all in the bag. After making sure you didn't miss anything important, you pulled your phone out and dialled the taxis number. It took them a bit longer than normal to pick up, nonetheless the lady on the phone answered. You told her where you lived and after a few moments she said one would be there in 20 minutes. You thanked her and said goodbye.

Once you were outside you locked the door and sat on the porch, crutches next to you. It was chilly like normal, but today was a bit more windy. You shivered and hugged yourself 'Hopefully it won't be as cold at work.'

In a way you regretted not staying inside and waiting, but you wanted to keep an eye out for the taxi. You constantly glanced at the sky and admired it, where you were it was much clearer, which was nice. Occasionally you went onto your phone to play some games, but you still enjoyed the view.

When the taxi pulled up you slipped on your bag and walked over. You opened the car door and got in, sitting the crutches next to you. The driver said hello and asked where you wanted to go, which you then told him. The man then started the car and drove off. You were surprised as the whole drive went without a hitch. Most of the time you looked out of the window and watched as everything turned into a blur. The window was foggy, which made it difficult to discern where you were. Majority of the drive you were stuck in thought, thinking of what job to look for after this one. You definitely weren't staying, that's for sure. The thought of going to college crossed your mind, but even then you still had to weigh the pros and cons.

Unlike yesterdays, this driver wasn't unnerving, as he didn't constantly glance at you. But you suppose you did look neater this time, so that's probably why.

Once the car started to slow down and stop the man told you how much it'd cost, to which you then pulled out your purse and gave him the money. You thanked him and opened the door, grabbed your bag and crutches then got out. The taxi drove off fast, it wouldn't surprise you if he thought you were up to some shady stuff because of how the building looked. You chuckled at the thought, but also felt kind of bad.

You slowly went over to the building, not feeling as nervous as yesterday. Though the same sense of dread still was there, you were waiting for the worst here.

When you got to the front door to the building you dug your hand into your jeans and pulled out the keys. You unlocked the door, placed your hand onto the handle and opened it. Once you stepped inside you were met by the same surroundings as yesterday. Nothing ever changed in here, you wondered if the owners ever came in to check it out. Who knew what happened while you weren't here. You walked down the halls, taking note of how the lights occasionally flickered. It definitely make the place freakier and put you on edge. With that, the place was also painfully quiet, the only sound were your footsteps echoing throughout the halls. There were a lot of wires hanging from the walls, which you found a bit concerning. How did you not notice this earlier?

You stepped into the security office and chucked your bag onto the desk, then plopped down onto the chair. You leaned back and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the tape to start. You spun around on the chair, then once that got boring you moved onto throwing a small bouncy ball into the air and catching it. Got to entertain yourself somehow, right? After a few catches it fell onto the ground and rolled all the way to the other side, to which you groaned and mumbled out a "Damn it." You couldn't be bothered to go get it. A few seconds later you pulled out your phone and saw a message pull up.

Boss: There have been some concerns regarding the animatronic, as the programming has been malfunctioning. The animatronic has not been responding properly and continues to move past 6am. We will be there at about 7am, so you'll be required to stay for an hour longer. Make sure to leave through the exit door. Thanks.

"Hold the fuck up, I didn't agree to-" You stopped mind sentence as it dawned on to you, that fucking contract. You technically did agree to this. You cursed loudly and clenched your fists. You're working with an animatronic that won't stop moving even after hours, how lovely. You placed your arms onto the desk and pinched the bridge of your nose. 'Todays the last night, this will be the last time I'll have to deal with this thing. One more night till I'm free.'

As you were on the line of freaking out, you heard the tape go off. This didn't startle you, as you were expecting it to go off soon.

"Uh, hello? Hello, hello! Uh, there's been a slight change of company policy concerning use of the suits. Um, don't. After learning of an unfortunate incident at the sister location, involving multiple and simultaneous spring lock failures, the company has deemed the suits temporarily unfit for employees. Safety is our top priority at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, which is why the classic suits are being retired to an appropriate location, while being looked at by our technician. Until replacements arrive, you'll be expected to wear the temporary costumes provided to you. Keep in mind that they were found on very short notice, so questions about appropriateness/relevance should be deflected. I repeat, the classic suits are not to be touched, activated or worn. That being said, we are free of liability, do as you wish. As always, remember to smile; you are the face of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza."

You flipped through all the cameras while trying to find where that bunny was, a couple times you saw more of those ash covered animatronics, one which looked like a deformed boy and for a split second you saw a chicken.... on an arcade screen? When you went back to have a look again you didn't see them again. It was odd, it seems as if once you click off they just disappear over all. Which made you feel nervous, but nonetheless you continued searching. They've never hurt you, so you must be okay, right?

After flipping through all of the cameras that view the halls, you moved onto the vents. As you started checking you heard something, although it was quite subtle. When you got to vent 14 you saw him, so you quickly pressed the button to seal it. Instead of him getting angry, he simply just moved away. Although confused, you watched him exit through cam 10. That was a good thing as you could finally keep him around there, far away from you. He started to walk off down the halls, however, once he reached near cam 09 you pressed the audio button for 10. He simply ignored it, which started make you nervous.

It must've been a mistake.... right?

Right?

Nonetheless, you continued to press it. Once in cam 10, then in cam 09. But he just kept ignoring it.

You felt ill, a pit forming in your stomach when you realised you had to fix the audio button already. You pressed it, basically praying it'll work next time. After a few seconds you then went back to the cams and viewed 08, that creepy hall with the Chica head and presents. The same place you saw that puppet yesterday. The kid drawings that hung on the wall was unsettling. Regardless, you watched as he went to cam 07. As you looked around you noticed that in the arcade machine was what looked like an animatronic chicken? When you realised it was the same one as you saw earlier; it was too late. Suddenly it disappeared off the screen, and not long after you saw something move in the corner of your eye. You were scared, what was it? You dreaded the thought of something attacking you, but you still looked up.

Your eyes widened in fear when you saw it standing in your office. Within a second it jumped at you, but before reaching you fully it suddenly disappeared. This caused you to fall off the chair and onto the rubble that was scattered on the floor. It hurt as the bits of concrete stabbed into your skin. You almost screamed in fear, but you held it back and bit your tongue. You sat there for a few seconds in shock, what the fuck just happened? You wanted to think of it more, to try and think of a logical explanation. But before you could ponder more the lights started to flash red and that damn siren blared into your ears. Knowing the situation was becoming serious, you quickly crawled back onto the chair and pressed the ventilation button. After a few seconds the lights stopped flashing and everything became silent.

You sighed in relief, still feeling your heart rapidly beating from that incident. You flipped through the cameras as you saw he got closer, he was walking down the hall near cam 05, bunny ears hitting the silver stars that were hanging off the ceiling. The hall was so dark that you almost missed him. It was unsurprising that he got so close, he knew you were here. And for some reason he wanted to hurt you.

You pressed the audio button for cam 06, to which he ignored as well. You felt your heartbeat increase, he's not following the it anymore. You pressed it another two times, but he continued to get closer and closer.

The audio button wouldn't work as there was an error, so you had to press the button and wait for it to finish. Once it was you did the same thing as before. It still didn't follow, you were becoming so angry and frustrated. If you stayed here any longer things will get bad like the first night. You wanted to run out but he would be blocking the way down the halls. You glanced again at the cams and he was gone from cam 05. You cursed under your breath, at the brink of freaking out.

You flipped to cam 4 at the end of the hall, staring at the camera close to the foxy head. The closer he got, the more powerless you felt. You shouldn't have came back. You should've stayed far away. All the regret was much heavier this time, you just wanted to curl into a ball and cry. You wanted to go home, even if it means having to spend months on end again trying to find a job. You started to tense up and tap onto the dirty desk.

Maybe you could crawl through the vents and exit through there. However you'd have to make sure that he's not in, who knows what he'd do if he put his filthy hands on you. The more that you thought about the possibilities the more you wanted to leave. The fear kept building up the more steps he took. Once he reached cam 02 you made up your mind.

You had to leave

Now

But how'd you crawl through with a broken leg? You cursed again, bumping your left leg up and down. It will be excruciating, but it's better than dying. You got off the chair and onto the floor, making sure to grab your phone. You then went into the vent, trying to not make any noise. You weren't too sure where to go, but after looking through the vent cams so many times you had an idea. Cam 15 was positioned near the left of you, however that's connected to where Springtrap would be. If you were to go down a little then turn left you'll be able to get to where cam 14 is, the exit is positioned right outside of it.

After quickly thinking it through, it sounded so simple. 'I'll be free.'

You continued down, however while crawling through you heard Springtraps footsteps entering the security room. You felt sick, but he didn't know where you were. You were safe.

But you heard the cameras click, and that's when you froze.

'Shit, he's looking for me.' You thought, crawling faster.

You genuinely hoped he was stupid enough to not check the vents. You fastened your pace, ignoring the pain that ached throughout your leg. Oh how you wanted to cry, but you pushed through it. When you turned left, you noticed that the cameras light turned red, he was viewing the vents.

You stopped immediately, waiting for it to stop flashing. It felt like forever waiting for it to turn off, however when it did, you instantly continued on. Once you were close enough to reaching the exit, you noticed something was off. Did he just stop looking for you? Everything was much more quieter than normal. But when you poked your head out, he was standing right there in front of the exit, looking straight at you.

You froze for a few seconds, 'no no no, this can't be right. It's been only a minute and he's already here?!' You thought, then tried to move backwards, but before you could move he grabbed your foot and pulled, you tried to dig your nails into the metal but it wouldn't work. He ripped you out like you were as light as a feather. You were nothing when compared to him.

When you were laying right in front of him, a face full of pure fear, he smiled. Not a nice and friendly one, it was an evil and sadistic one. You were simply nothing to him but a toy. And oh how he was going to have fun.

He placed is foot onto your chest, which made you mortified. He loved it. He tilted his head back, a loud laugh escaping from his mouth. He found this situation hilarious. This resulted in you looking disgusted, your face scrunched up. After a few seconds he placed his hand onto his chest and tried to calm down. But oh how this was amazing for him. So pathetic, weak. You were completely at his mercy.

"Now what to do with you now..." He mumbled out, to which you started to try and move out his grip. Attempting to push him off, scratching while looking for an object nearby. He just stared in amusement, finding this funny. You kept going till your fingers started to burn from the friction. You slammed your fists again his legs, hoping to break anything or even do the smallest amount of damage to him. Just anything, even the smallest amount of control in this situation you'd take. But all it did was harm you more than him.

When your hand started to ache to the point it you could barely move it, you realised there was nothing you could do. So you just started to cry even more. The feeling of being weak, the regret, dread and complete fear was becoming too much. Tears streamed down your cheeks and onto the floor.

He tore at one of the wires in the walls, causing it to spark, then he leaned down and pulled you up by the hair, which caused you to yelp. Then he pushed it down, smashing you onto the ground.

You screamed harder, the pain radiating all throughout your head. You honestly weren't sure if he cracked your skull or not, you tried one more time to get up, but yet again there was nothing you could do. You watched helplessly as he picked you up bridal style, but not long after you started to see stars and inky black spots clouding your vision. The next thing you know you were into a deep slumber, in such a weak state with a mass murderer.

[I'll be releasing part 5 soon!]

#yandere springtrap x reader #springtrap x reader #yandere springtrap #william afton x reader #yandere fnaf #yandere fnaf x reader #yandere william afton

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redhead-batgal · 3 years ago

Text

Type: Two-Shot {A really really long part-one}

Part Two: Here

Pairing: Fem! and Librarian! Reader x Dick Grayson/Nightwing

Content: Cursing, flirtations, violence, reader with serious anxiety and some minor implications. Fluff, so much fluff.

P.S: An OC of mine is making an appearance in this so yeah just a heads up, it’s not the reader but she will be in it. Anyways, enjoy!

Word Count (So y’all know what you’re getting yourself into): 12,709 words

Y/N: Your Name, L/N: Last Name

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You hadn't meant for anyone to see, you thought that after hours of no patrons it would be fine, however you were wrong. It was more embarrassing than anything, embarrassing all because it wasn't just anyone who had caught you. No it just had to be the first man you found yourself crushing on since the nasty break up with your Ex, Daniel. It just had to be Dick Grayson who caught you dancing through the aisle as you reshelved books, of course it did. It was just your luck.

A pop song had played on the radio as you drove in to work and it had gotten stuck in your head, when everything went quiet at the library, you felt the need to sing. And singing, usually led to dancing, reshelving the books was just for something productive to do really.

You had just slid a book back onto the shelf when the song in your head had a melody that seemed perfectly twirl worthy. So, you started twirling. And then you kept twirling, hoping to spin your entire way back to your desk to grab more books. However, before you made it to your desk you slammed straight into someone.

Instead of going tumbling to the ground like you expected, you felt hands on your waist steadying you. Blinking, you looked and found Dick Grayson smiling at you.

Shit.

Heat flushed your cheeks and you're fairly sure you let out a squeak or a squawk in surprise, due to the fact that Jason suddenly began coughing and hitting his chest. That unfortunately made you realize exactly what had just happened.

Twirling and slamming straight into Dick.

Fucking shit.

You felt like an idiot and shame burned bright on your cheeks. You were seconds from going into an all out panic at not only being caught doing your guilty pleasure, but you had seriously embarrassed yourself in front of your crush. A habit that you wished had died in high school.

Almost as if he sensed your panic, Dick instantly let go of you and took a step back. You nodded in thanks, feeling the terror climb up your throat as the thoughts slammed into you.

He's going to think you're too weird, he'll never talk to you again

You tried to push the thoughts back or counter them. It wasn't true, Dick was nice and something as small as catching you twirling wouldn't drive him away right? ....... Oh no, this wasn't good. He was probably never going to forget this, forever remembering you as the bumbling fool who twirled right into him.

As if he'd think of you, The thoughts seethed.

You forced a smile and it was then you realized he had said something to you. He was looking at you expectantly... he had asked you a question. A friendly smile was on his face and you tried to remember what he asked you.

Taking small glances at his face you realized that you had squeaked out a sorry instinctively after slamming into him. But other than that you couldn't recall what he said and even more panic raced over you.

He's going to think your an ass for not listening when he was speaking, it's rude and you are one

Resisting shoving your face into your hands you let out a small sigh and squeezed your eyes shut. If you wanted to answer his question, you were going to have to ask him to repeat it.

You ran through possible excuses and two popped into your head instantly.

Sorry long day, could you repeat that?

What was the question again?

The first one seemed perfect so you opened your mouth to speak and then you met his gaze.

"Sorrylongquestionrepeatthatday?"

He blinked and you saw the confusion on his face and you nearly wince. You knew that you could get it if you tried again.

Unfortunately you were wrong.

"Sorrypleaserepeatthaquestlong."

"What?"

Wincing you put a hand to your face and dragged it across it. Avoiding his gaze with your hands balled into fists you raised your voice slightly.

"Uh. sorry. can. you. please. repeat. the. question?" You remark slowly, pausing to make sure none of the words blur together again.

"Oh, yeah sure. I asked what you were doing that caused you to run into me? It looked like you were having fun, so I got a little curious. "

FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK

"Oh uhm, well- uh it's super embarrassing, so I- uh- like- yeah." You stumbled over a reply before holding two thumbs up.

He looked at you confused for a moment before you decide not facing him was the best way to get through this. Moving quickly towards your desk, which was only a few feet away, you internally began planning your own funeral.

Moving behind the desk you sank down into your chair and spun around. Finding the top of a dark head you blinked until you saw the head raise and realized it was just Damian. He looked at your for a few seconds before narrowing his eyes and placing a book on the counter.

"Last time you recommended this book."

Picking up the book you looked at the title and cover. It was a standalone book by an author you rather liked, when the young boy had asked for a recommendation you nearly jumped for joy. Recommending books was one of your favorite things to do as a librarian.

"Yes, did you like it- sorry. Did you enjoy it?" You asked as you flipped through the pages, a habit to make sure nothing was stuck in the book and to keep you calm.

Something you realized with the youngest Wayne, was he preferred to be treated as an adult- or how he thought adults should be treated. So you pretend he was a scholar and talked to him as such. Damian appeared to be happy with the way you treated him and didn't completely hate you so you were content... at least for now.

"It was... adequate. Do you have any other recommendations?"

A smile played on your lips as you set the book down and a calming wave raced over you. Books were the one thing you could talk about and never falter, they were the one thing you knew so much about that you were sure you couldn't mess up talking about it.

"Well this author has multiple books that they've written... what was it about the book that made it... satisfactory? Was it the plot, the characters, or the writing style? Maybe even the genre?"

Damian's brow furrowed and you realized he didn't exactly know what he liked about the book. However, before you could offer to pick out another book for him, the boy nodded and stepped back from your desk.

"I will look into the other novels. Thank you."

He turned and began heading towards the aisles, the smile exploded on your face and you called after him.

"Happy to help."

Less than a minute later, Dick followed Damian shooting you a small smile. You instinctively looked down as your shame from earlier slammed into you yet again. After a minute or two you looked up and noticed how both he and Damian were out of sight. A sigh of relief escaped you and Jason came up to your desk, an eyebrow raised.

"You really fucked that up, you know." He remarked, setting a few books down.

Due to him constantly coming around and talking to you about books, you had become somewhat comfortable around Jason.

Rolling your eyes you waved a hand at him, "Oh buzz off asshole."

With a small smile on his face he raised his hands and shrugged. He apparently found your humiliation amusing, which did not surprise you.

"I'm just saying." Jason said with a mischievous smile on his face.

You gave him an irritated look and replied, "And I'm just saying I never asked."

He blinked almost in surprise and he raised an eyebrow at you and you dropped his gaze. Despite knowing him fairly well you still had a hard time looking him, or anyone else really, in the eyes for long periods of time. There was only really one person you didn’t mind looking in the eyes... and that of course was because it wasn’t his eyes you were looking into, but a mask. Before your thoughts could drift towards your vigilante friend a comment yanked you back into reality.

"Well someone's touchy today."

You gave Jason a look, he was seriously testing your patience today. It was bad enough that he just stood there and laughed as you made a complete fool of yourself in front of your crush. You had expected him to at least help you out a little bit but he didn’t even though he knew how you felt about his brother... Maybe it was because of that.

He smiled at you and that only intensified your anger, you glared at him and he took a step back looking slightly defensive. If there was one thing about yourself you were proud of, it was your glare. You had been told that it scared even the bravest of Gotham’s vigilantes... though now that you think about it that was probably a sarcastic comment.

"Hey,” Jason began leaning onto your desk, “as your friend I felt I should tell you."

Rolling your eyes you shook your head and began checking the book Damian had returned back in, "Of course you did."

Out of the corner of your eye you saw him narrow his eyes and move in closer to the desk. He was giving you a look almost as if he was daring you to say that again.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks his voice pitching.

Sometimes, he’s rather sensitive. Shooting him looks out of the corner of your eyes you tried to fight off the smile that was working its way onto your face.

"Take a guess."

He lets out a slight huff and curses under his breath as if he realized you were messing with him. Peeking at him you find Jason shaking his head, a amused-yet-irritated smile on his face. You reached over and grabbed a couple of books in need of reshelving and placed the one you just checked in on top. You stared at the cover of the book at the top of your stack and you realized to reshelf this book you would probably have to see Dick... something that you really didn’t want to do.

Suddenly you replayed what happened in your head and embarrassment washed over you yet again. Fiddling with the pile you bit your lip then you shot Jason a look, hesitating slightly before you finally asked.

"Was I obvious and awkward or just an awkward mess?"

He shrugged as he gave you a look of contemplation. Rubbing his face he remarked, "Well I can't really say because I know you have the hots for him."

Your jaw dropped and you swatted at him, your face turning pink. He ducked away from your hand laughing and you glared at him. You cleared your throat and looked around. Standing no more than three feet away was an old lady you knew by the name of Whitney. She was sweet, but she loved to gossip. And you hardly needed your personal drama- well not drama, love life- it wasn’t really even your love life... you hardly needed personal things out and about, being talked about during Thursday’s bridge club.

The only way you could continue your conversation in any privacy was to walk around and reshelf books. Picking the pile up, you paused to slide the book on top to the bottom, before you began walking towards the aisle. Motioning with your head for Jason to follow you.

“Come on,”

You walked to where the new book on top needed to be reshelved, it just so happened to be on the other side of the library to your relief. You slid the book back where it belonged then set your pile on an empty space on the shelf in front of you. Leaning against the shelf behind you, you grabbed at a loose strand of hair that you missed when pulling it up into a messy bun that morning. Twirling the stay strand around your finger you let out a sigh and looked at Jason. You felt as if you had to explain.

It wasn’t just a minor crush you had, not really. After the whole mess with Daniel you were honestly surprised you could like any man that way again. Yet somehow you found yourself feeling that way about Dick, he was nice and funny, and sweet and- you could go on and on. Letting out a sigh you bit your lip again.

"I do not have the hots for him, I- I-." You stumbled to explain exactly what you were feeling.

"You fancy him?" Jason inquired, a smile quirked on his lips as he leaned in.

You laughed slightly, shaking your head, "Have you been reading Jane Austen again?"

"No,” He replied, his smile slowly fading, “what is it about him that you like?"

“Well,” You began hearing your voice crack slightly.

You didn’t really know how to explain it, and trying would only make you feel like a bitch if you didn’t explain it right.

“I don’t really know how to explain it,” You sighed before you unraveled the strand from your finger and put your hands behind your back, “He’s super nice and sweet and funny. He- he’s nice to me but he doesn’t pity me despite knowing about... despite knowing about what happened with Daniel. I know that I find his presence comforting-”

Jason snorted, then remarked, “So comforting that you can’t speak?”

You let out a scoff and shook your head.

“He’s just so....”

“Ridickulos?” Jason laughed as he shook his head, “I’m sorry I had to do that one. If he found out I didn’t he’d never forgive me.”

You rolled your eyes and shoved Jason before studying the bookshelf in front of you.

“Amazing, he’s fun and cool and- I have a hard time talking around him because- because I think I can’t really compare to him. I mean I’m a mess most of the time, barely able to make a coherent sentence without having to repeat it a bajillion times and yet he doesn’t treat me differently. I get so scared that if and I were to become friends he’d find out how weird I actually am and suddenly not want to be friends with me anymore. Worse when I talk I fear that I’ll say something stupid and the same thing with happen. That he’ll never want to talk to me again and my crush will literally end up crushing me. Even though I know that’s not true. He’s- he’s like everything I need.”

You faintly remember a phrase you had said the moment you realized you liked him. It played in your head as you waited for Jason to respond.

All The Man That I Need

It was fairly true, as far as you could tell he was all the man that you needed. But you didn’t exactly fully know him so you couldn’t definitively say if the statement was correct. It’s a good thing however that you hated definites.

“Well, what about the other guy?”

Other guy? You blinked as you realized what exactly Jason was referring to. You had told him that you were spending time with a vigilante, as friends of course. It was strange to think you had befriended Nightwing without really trying at all. Maybe making friends wasn’t as hard for you as you thought... well it didn’t exactly help that you did see him as a friend however he was, for the longest time, your celebrity crush.

Befriending him was a reality check of sorts, he was a hero, but he was also just a guy. A guy who you surprisingly got along well with. However the reality check also made you realize no matter how awesome he was in person there could never be a relationship with him. He was a vigilante and you could never know his identity. That idea got promptly thrown out when you began to find yourself taking solstice in his visits back when you and Daniel were together.

“I thought I told you,” You began with a sigh, “that it would never work out.”

Jason shrugs and pulls a book off of the shelf examining it. He opens the book and looks at you.

“You did, but I thought it couldn’t hurt to keep your options open.”

Rolling your eyes you leaned over to see that in the book he opened characters were reading from William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Jason hums slightly before he closes the book and taps your head with it.

“Reading a lot of Shakespeare recently?” You question instead of protesting, protesting was what he wanted and you were beginning to feel the effects of socializing.

“More or less,” He replied, reshelving the book.

He turned fully to you and a light appeared in his eyes. Jason got a devilish look on his face and you suddenly began to fear what was going to happen next.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

You narrowed your own eyes and shook your head. To many possibilities for what could go wrong, better not, "I’d rather you didn't."

Jason leaned in, his eyes glittering as if he had a plan formulating in his head and in your experience Jason’s plans never went well. However before you could reaffirm your decision he commented, “Might make him jealous."

You blinked a few times, the idea seemed interesting. It was tempting as hell until the little voices, the negative Nancy’s as your mother used to call them, began to speak up.

As if he’d ever be jealous over you

He has to like you in the first place, he probably thinks you’re a freaky weirdo.

You swallowed trying to not let the harsh thoughts hurt as much as they actually did. Shaking your head you shot Jason a grateful smile.

"No, it's okay,” You paused as an idea popped into your head, “But I could compare you to a summer's day."

Surprise was frozen on his face for half a second before he snorted and rolled his eyes. He gave you a look before replying, "Eh, well I don't think it is accurate."

".... You could compare him to a summer's day." You said before you could think it through.

Without even missing a beat Jason replied, "Or you could,"

No, you couldn’t. If you tried, even though he wasn’t actually there, you’d probably combust due to embarrassment and it would be just your luck if he just so happened to be walking up as you did it. Anyways you weren’t very good with sonnets. Poetry and rhymes were a bit easier but regardless it just wasn’t your thing.

"I’ve never really been one for sonnets, Besides it'd be more accurate if you did it." You informed him with a shrug.

"Of course it would."

His words were a bit sharp, as if something was bothering him. You decided to ignore it considering that it wasn’t really your business. However what he said was a challenge in itself. He was basically saying you were chickening out. He wasn’t wrong but he had no right to call you on it.

"Are you implying what I think you are?" You asked, trying to keep your tone light.

“Probably.” He shrugged, smiling that devilish, his voice softer than before.

Narrowing your eyes you crossed your arms and remarked, “For the sake of this friendship, I’m going to disregard that comment.”

His eyes lit up once again and you realized you gave him what he wanted, while you didn’t know what it was for you did know what it was. An opening.

“And for the sake of this friendship I am going to compare you to a summer’s day.”

This was probably going to be the funniest or dirtiest thing you heard this week, and you honestly didn’t mind. You were getting exhausted and needed a good laugh. As they always say, laughter is the best medicine.

“Oh no,” You replied, pretending to tremble while weakly laughing.

Ignoring your comment, he held his arms out towards you before he dramatically declared, “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”

Without hesitation you deadpanned, “No,”

He shot you a glare, taking a step forwards before getting the dramatic look on his face again, gazing past you he took in a breath.

“Thou art more hot and more smelly.”

You laughed slightly before he shot you a chastising look and continued,

“Rough farts do shake the tiny arm hairs of me,”

Giggles began to build up your throat, but you pushed them back as Jason waved his hands around the air almost as if he was trying to swat a fly.

He took in a breath and looked directly at you, “And summer’s air hath all to gross a smell,”

Pressing a hand to your face you shove back your laughter and you nod at him a few times. His face is frozen, his hands hanging limply at his sides and you realize he’s stuck. Shaking your head you wait a moment when an idea for the next line pops into your head.

“Sometime too wet the back of my neck shines?”

His face lights up and he smiles at you before remarking, “Oooo good one.”

Slipping back into the dramatic, Shakespearean crack actor he holds his hands out again. Forming his face into what you can only assume is a regal expression he continues,

“Sometime too wet the back of my neck shines.... and often is it’s slick complexion....”

He paused for another moment and began snapping his fingers as if the word was on the tip of his tongue.

“Dried.” You piped up nearly biting back laughter.

Pointing a finger at you he exclaims, “Yes!”

Jumping back once again into the persona he shoots you a wink out of the corner of his eye. You roll your eyes as giggles escape you.

“And often is it’s slick complexion dried. And every fly from fly sometime declines.”

You give him a look, laughter fighting to be released before shaking your head and shaking your hands.

“That doesn’t make sense.”

Jason swats at you not breaking his gaze, he had locked in on something behind you and you hoped it wasn’t a person, “Hush, I’m not done.”

You snorted and then let out a cough to try and subdue the oncoming barrels of laughter that were threatening to explode from you.

“By swat or by swatter’s shrieking ass stumbling.”

That was the last straw, giggles, cackles and chortles escaped from you and you pressed your hand to the shelf behind you to stay standing.

“Oh my fucking gosh- stop- please.” You wheezed in-between your laughter.

Jason gave you a look and you tried to stop yourself from cackling.

He waited until you had quieted down a bit to ask, “Should I do the next line?”

“NO! NO, I can’t take- I couldn’t make it through another.” You exclaimed shaking your head.

Letting out a sigh Jason shot you a look that looked a little bit to much like pout for you to take seriously.

“Can I at least say the best lines?”

“You’ve thought that far ahead?”

“Yes,”

Giggling slightly you sighed then nodded, “Fine.”

Slipping back into the Shakespearean actor persona he held his hand out almost exactly mimicking the classic Hamlet pose. The mere action of him going back into the act had you giggling again. He opened his mouth, covering your own with your hand to stop yourself from interrupting him anymore; you let out a slight snort. He stepped forwards and you pressed yourself against the shelves to get a better view of him.

“When in eternal thighs to highs thou grow’st.”

A mixture between a wheeze and squeak escapes you and you have to squeeze your hand over your mouth and nose to stop yourself from cackling again. From where you stood, you could see Jason’s eyes glowing almost as if he found this amusing as you found the new sonnet funny.

“So long as men can’t breathe,” He remarked, “or bi’s can’t pee.”

Another hybrid of a sound escaped you and you could see his shoulders shaking. He straightened himself out and began to finish,

“So long lives the bitch that gives fuck’s not to thee-”

You couldn’t help yourself, it wasn’t like the other lines where it practically mirrored the syllables of the original line, the new last line was a mess.

“That’s not rig-” You protested as you fought off a grin.

Suddenly his hand was covering your mouth and you gave him a shocked look that momentarily stopped your laughter. After the shock left the laughter returned in ten-fold. Giggles escape you and you tried your hardest not to meet his gaze however you couldn’t help yourself, looking Jason in the eyes you saw how serious he was and you giggled even more. He removed his hand and you bit your lip to stop yourself from snorting again, it was the laugh of yours you hated the most, made you feel a little too much like a pig.

Jason looked beside you and you were thankful, though he could be an ass sometimes he was nice enough to try and help prevent your anxiety or at least make it less intense. Your body began to shake as you fought off any and all laughter. You needed him to get through all of it so he wouldn’t repeat it. Covering your mouth with both hands you pressed against the shelves and squeezed your eyes shut

“As I was saying,” He remarked, “So long lives the bitch that gives fuck’s not to thee... and scene.”

Peeking an eye open you find Jason bowing and you lose it, your hands barely make it away from your face before you explode into a fit of snorts that don’t seem to stop. Your body begins to bend and you begin caving in on yourself, letting your head hang down you continue to laugh and snort. Rising back up you press a hand to your chest in a hope to make the laughter stop but it is in vain. You felt your cheeks flushing and your blood rushing to your face as you tried to quiet down.

Jason smiled and you took a breath before giggling relentlessly. Shaking your head you realized despite how funny it was you did have some critiques.

“Can you say that stuff about bi’s?” You asked your breath nearly hiccupping as you snickered.

He shrugged before pressing a hand to the bookshelf right by your head and winking, “I am bi so I can say whatever the hell I want.”

“All-righty then, kiddo.” You nodded snorting as you moved your hand from your chest.

Suddenly someone walks up however they speak before you can turn, “Hey guys, what you talking about?”

Something about the tone was off to you, you didn’t know exactly what but you knew that whoever the person was, they weren’t happy.

Simultaneously both you and Jason say, “Nothing.”

Giggling again you smile at Jason and look over to find Damian and Dick. Usually panic would flood you and slowly it was, however you still had laughter floating around your chest and it was slowly escaping you like a leaky faucet.

Damian narrowed his eyes, “You were talking about me weren’t you?”

For a moment you were confused until you blinked, realizing that he thought the two of you were laughing at him. Thinking for half a moment about what you were doing made more laughter push through. However it’s not only normal laughter but scared laughter. It was something you noticed in the middle of your junior year, when in moments of high fear or panic where you didn’t know what to do, you laughed.

“N-no.,” You tried to start, but upon seeing Damian’s upset face terrified giggles stopped you, “we- we weren’t talk-talking about you.”

Jason cleared his throat and you had flashbacks to when he was beginning the sonnet, a snort bubbled from you. It was loud and very pig-like causing your entire face to turn a brighter red than it already was.

"We might be,” Jason said, “whatch-ya gonna do about it pipsqueak?"

The tone he had made the laughter begin to die in your chest, you knew that Jason and Damian didn’t get along well most of the time. You just didn’t know why, some days they seemed fairly close other days it seemed like they would rip each other’s throats out.

"I'll make you stop Todd." Damian seethed and your laughter vanished with one last hybrid squeaking snort.

Moving away from you, Jason took a few steps towards Damian, shoving his hands in his pockets, "I'd like to see you try gremlin."

"Stop calling me names Todd."

Jason laughed and looked back at you, you shot him a warning look but he ignored you, "Or what short-stack? You gonna bite my ankles?"

"Jason-" Dick began when Damian interrupted him with a snarl.

"Go on, keep calling me names, see what happens."

The two boys were closer now, a mere three feet away from each other. Without even thinking it through you stepped in between them and raised your hands as if to push both of them away from each other. Shooting them both a reprimanding glare you watched as the fight died from both of them pretty quickly.

Sighing in relief you lowered your hands and nodded before noting the stack of books that needed to be reshelved on the shelf almost gathering dust.

“Alright boys, behave now. I’m going to go and reshelf the rest of these books. When I return I expect the two of you to be getting along, or else.” You remarked moving towards the books.

Jason stepped out of your way and seemed to understand the entirety of your threat, Damian on the other hand didn't.

“Or else what?” He asked his eyes narrowed

Picking up the books you turned back to him and raised an eyebrow, “Do you really want to know?”

His shoulders sank down and Damian fully backed down. He looked away form you and you nodded satisfied. Turning you left to go reshelf the books. You got down to the last one when a young girl stopped you.

She looked up at you with big eyes and asked, “Do you have any books I could read?”

You stared at her sweet face for a moment before pulling a book off of the shelf and handing it to her. She took the book with a bright smile on her face and she turned and left. Staring at the last book in your hand you slid it back where it belonged and spun around.

Instead of finding a bunch of shelves you found Dick standing behind you, internally you screamed and you felt your eyes widen instinctively. He smiled and leaned in towards you.

"Have any recommendations for me?" He asked

Panic washed over you and it was suddenly hard to breathe, you loved to recommend books but him asking was like someone asking to see your diary.

Fumbling for words you replied, "Uh-I- uh well- what. do. you. like?

It was then that you realized Dick was here with you, which meant that the boys were left alone. Alone and unattended, while of course that could be a good thing. It also meant that they could trash the library, Jason could tell Damian about your crush, the small boy had a habit of blurting out things he found not secret keeping worthy!

Giving Dick a worried look you stepped forwards and rushed to ask him, if he did in fact leave them alone,

"watdidyaeveemown?"

“I’m sorry what?” He gave you a very confused look.

“Did you leave them alone?!” You nearly shrieked as panic overtook your body.

“Uh yeah.”

“SHIT.”

Turning you ran down two aisles back to where Damian and Jason were. Surprisingly instead of finding them in an all out battle you found them cackling.

"You- you are amazing. And so fucking dense." Jason breathed out in between his laughter.

"What?" You asked completely and totally surprised as the panic began to slip away from you.

"Nothing, nothing at all Y/N." He sighed wiping imaginary tears.

You were astonished and confused, how could they do that? Go from being at each others throats ready for blood to buddies in less then ten minutes? Shaking your head you let out a sigh and went to turn around when you spotted Dick in the corner of your eye. You then remembered he asked for a recommendation and were thankful you had an excuse to run away.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to recommend a book but more as it was hard to think straight around him. Your brain turned to mush and it was hard for you to bring any good books to mind. Looking at the shelf across form you, you spotted an old favorite of yours. Throughout all of high school it was your comfort book and it might just be the perfect book for him.

Yanking it off the shelf you turned and held it out to him. He took it from you smiling slightly as though he was extremely confused but wanted to be polite.

“What’s this for?” He asked

“Gookbood.” You mumbled out after you accidentally met his gaze.

You were stuck, of course you had the option to look away, however if you did you’d only feel even more embarrassed, if you kept looking however.. let’s just say you think it’d be bad for your health.

“What?” Dick asked leaning forwards clearly trying to hear you better.

“Bokgood-” You began before you realized you messed up only to try again, “Ookkbod.”

Slamming your eyes shut you clenched your fists and nearly yelled, “GOOD BOOK.”

With that you kept your eyes closed and turned walking away as Damian and Jason cackle at you. Probably at your inability to even form coherent sentences. Instead of heading back towards your desk you moved past it into the backroom, gathering your things as fast as you could you headed towards the front desk. Upon seeing you, Marian, the head library gave you a worried look.

“Everything alright Y/N?”

“Uh, yeah I’m just gonna end my shift early.”

“You’re shift has been over for an hour dear... though you usually stay till closing...” Her tone told you that she was worried.

Closing your eyes again you winced but then you heard Marian sigh and you peeked an eye open seeing her typing something in her computer.

“If any one asks...” You began before wincing again as the thoughts hit you.

As if they would

“If anyone asks, I’m not feeling well. Alright?”

Marian nodded a small smile on her face as she looked at something in one of the aisles, "Go on Y/N, have a good weekend. I’ll see you again on Monday.”

She waved you along and you hurried out the door. Before you could even make it to the parking lot you spotted one of the libraries regulars. Mira, was a few years younger then you and very excited about books. Unknown to her and probably himself, Jason had taken a shining to her.

Upon seeing you her eyes lit up and she hurried over to you. Smiling brightly Mira enthusiastically greeted you.

“Hi, Y/N. I know you’re probably about to head home but I just wanted to tell you I loved the book you recommended and say hi.”

Her face was it’s natural pink and she seemed to realized how much you were freaking out. Her smile slid from her face and she reached out a hand as if to try and comfort you before she put it back down.

“Are you okay?”

You didn’t exactly know what to say. While Mira was a constant and almost as close a friend to you as Jason was, you couldn’t exactly tell her what was going on.

With a weary sigh you turned back towards the doors to see Dick, Jason and Damian walking out them. Even more panic raced over you as they spotted you and Mira.

Mira hummed slightly before patting your arm and turning towards the boys, they began to approach. They were only a couple of a feet away when Mira stopped them.

“Hi,” She said grinning brightly, “I’m Mirabilis Cadman, but everyone calls me Mira. It’s nice to meet you.”

You watched for a moment as Dick hesitated, Damian gave Mira a scrutinizing look and Jason, well Jason seemed to be completely unaffected however you knew better. Mira held her hand out to Dick and he shook it.

“Hey, I’m Dick Grayson. This is my little brother Damian. Pleasure to meet you.” He replied smiling

For a moment a strange look crossed Mira’s face her smile faltering then she blinked and looked to Damian for a moment. Then she noted the book he was carrying. Smiling again she also held her hand out to him.

Shooting him a wink she remarked, “Good choice, glad to see one of you has taste.”

It was then that you remembered how one night after Mira had volunteered to help you clean up the library after a long day of elementary school classes coming in you had told her of your crush on Dick Grayson and how it seemed that, at the time he was ignoring you.

Fuck

Meanwhile Jason was trying to hide cackles behind coughs. Hitting his chest twice he gives Mira a amused look before he held his hand out to her. Once she took it he said,

“Sup, Jason, Jason Todd.”

Mira blinked twice, confusion was clear on her face for a moment before she shrugged and let go of his hand. Looking away from the two of them you noticed how Dick was staring at you.

Shit.

Mira eventually caught his line of sight and you watched as her eyes widened slightly. She kept the smile on her face though. Dick gestured to you and began to speak, “We need Y/N, she is just-”

“She isn’t feeling well,” Mira explained and you noted the hand behind her back waving for some reason, “But, I’d be happy to help you out in anyway I can. I know this library like the back of my hand. I spend a lot of time here... maybe too much time.”

You watched as she continued to wave and realized she was signaling you to leave. She was helping with your get away. As you hurried towards the parking lot and your car you know one thing for sure. You owed her big-time.

It didn’t take you long to get to your car, as you fumbled with your keys you came to a realization.

You recommended him, Dick Grayson, a book. He frequently came to the library and sometimes tried to talk to you. He would want to talk to you about the book. Which meant the possibility of embarrassing yourself in front of him again, and no Mira to save you.

Fucking shit

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Insomnia was a bitch, but it wasn’t just anyone’s bitch it was anxiety’s bitch... then again so were you.

It was probably close to three a.m. when you decided you were hungry and climbed out of your very warm bed to wander into the kitchen. Unfortunately flies had beat you there, while there was only two or three, but they annoyed the hell out of you. Picking up the fly swatter you spotted a fly a few feet away from you and you lunged forwards swinging your arms and legs. You slapped at the fly and successfully hit it. Pretending to bow to a cheering crowd you mouthed ‘thank you, thank you.’

Standing up straight you held your fly swatter like a blade and a thought popped into your head.

Ninja, fly ninja, you are the fly ninja.

Jumping around as you let out soft hi-yah’s and other ninja noises you tried and failed to hit the two flies. Creeping up on one of the flies you swung the flyswatter out and smacked it into the wall. Jumping and doing a side kick you remarked,

“Hoi-yah! Take that fly! No one can best me. Because I’m The fly ninja.”

It was then you heard the chuckling. Blinking you turned and found standing in your kitchen in his blue and black glory, your friend, Nightwing. The thoughts slammed into you as you found yourself stumbling back towards your couch.

He just saw you looking like a fucking idiot, you are never going to live this one down

However instead of freaking out, when you saw the incredibly amused look on his face you found yourself irritated. You froze for just a moment before you grabbed a pillow and chucked it at him. He dodged it with a laugh.

“Wouldn't ninja fly be better.... wait no that's a fly who is a ninja,” he mused while laughing and dodging yet another pillow you threw.

He thinks your weird, he’s probably laughing at yo-

“You,” Nightwing said, yanking you out of the thoughts, “have the worst taste in cereal.”

Blinking you found him standing in front of one of your cupboards, crossing your arms you gave him a look and he closed the cupboard. Turning towards you he leaned against the counter with one hand, effectively blocking your way into the kitchen.

“Just to let you know.”

Rolling your eyes you snorted, then pushed past him to get into your kitchen. Yanking a cup from your cupboard you walk over to the electric kettle and fill it with water before turning it on and placing the mug next to it.

"You,” You began as you walked back out of the kitchen, ”break into people's apartments in the middle of the night, what right do you have to judge my cereal?"

He snorted and rested his elbows on your counter. Behind him Red Robin slipped into your kitchen and began raiding your cabinets for coffee, which as of late, was normal.

“True, but do I really deserve such scorn from the fly ninja?”

Behind Nightwing you see Red Robin pause and turn towards you. He mouths ‘fly ninja?’ tilting his head in confusion. Biting your lip to hold back laughter you smiled and then shrugged. He nodded and turned back to raiding your cabinets.

Looking at Nightwing you raised an eyebrow and then rested your elbows on your counter before placing your face in your hands.

“You broke into my apartment, startled me. Insulted my ninja abilities and then you insulted my cereal choices. So yes, I do believe you deserve my scorn.”

Nightwing held up a hand in disagreement as he shook his head. Behind him the electric kettle steamed then clicked off, “I did not insult your ninja skills. I- I was admiring them.”

Narrowing your eyes you fought off a grin as you replied, “So you say.”

Usually you would be worried saying stuff like this to even the closest of your friends, however, despite your sometimes snarky remarks and extreme weirdness Nightwing continued to come and visit you. Which told you that it didn’t matter how weird or much yourself you were he wouldn’t leave... or at least you hopped so.

Taking on a playful tone he remarked, "Well someone's grumpy."

Holding up a hand you waved it at him as Red Robin grabbed a mug and began pouring the water into it, the instant coffee right next to him.

"Listen- listen I haven't had my tea yet."

Nightwing blinked once and then he pushed off of the counter and he laughed slightly. It took you a minute to realize he was confused and a little nervous.

“You don't drink coffee?"

"Caffeine and I don't get along." You said with a shrug.

This only seemed to confuse him more, he shook his head and looked at you slightly astonished before he asked, “Then why do you have so much of it?”

Smiling, you met his gaze and pointed behind him, “Turn around.”

Turning he looked and saw Red Robin stirring a cup of coffee. He paused and watched with you as Red Robin pulled a small energy drink from his belt and he poured it into the cup. Nightwing walks over to him and picks up the mug from his body language; it looked as if he was giving Red Robin a scolding look.

"You know this is probably gonna kill you right?"

Red Robin shrugs and replies, "It was bound to happen sooner or later."

A giggle escaped you and both Nightwing and Red Robin turned towards you. You cleared your throat as Nightwing smiled and Red Robin looked at the two of you. A strange expression passed his face before he shook his head and headed for the fire escape.

“You owe me a new mug.” You remarked pointing a finger at him.

Nightwing looked startled then he gestured to the fire escape exclaiming, “No, he does.”

You shrugged as you headed into the kitchen “He’s your underling.”

“Red Robin is not my underling.”

Though you couldn’t see him you could hear his tone. He sounded offended and a little upset. From this you could tell that he respected or at least had a lot of respect for Red Robin.

A memory tickles the back of your mind, someone calling Red Robin little bird. You didn’t exactly remember who but your bet was on Nightwing.

“Fine, he’s your little bird. Isn’t that what you call him?” You remarked with a shrug.

“no.”

You blinked a few times and sighed, “Oh, well anyways he’s still a kid and if he drinks that much coffee I doubt he could actually get me a new mug. I mean he literally has to steal coffee from here... maybe I should get disposable cups.”

A surprised look crossed his face, “Wait, he does this often?”

“Yeah, but usually he drinks all of the coffee and leaves the mug.”

Nightwing hums and he nods as if was contemplating something. Maybe it was why Red Robin did what he did or maybe it was something else.

“Huh, he must like you if he keeps coming back.”

Letting out a snort you nodded before sarcastically remarking, “Or he likes the coffee.”

Not understanding you were using sarcasm, Nightwing shook his head, a fairly serious look on his face, “It’s instant coffee I doubt it can be that good... It’s a high honor to be liked by Red Robin.”

“Sure it is...” You rolled your eyes not fully believing him, before you could stop yourself you said, “no one likes me, or at least they shouldn’t”

"Well I like you."

You blinked and looked over to him, he was giving you an innocent look and you blinked again. You couldn’t have heard what you just did right? People wouldn’t tell someone- they wouldn’t tell you they liked you to your face... right?

"Wait, did you just say what I think you said?"

A smile appeared on his face and he nodded slowly, “Yes, I did in fact say that I like you."

He likes you, he just said so, and repeated what he said. So, he must really mean it, truly mean it. Before you were going about in unknowing and now the reality of everything hit you.

Of course you were aware people who were your friends liked you, but no one had really ever said it to your face. You were shocked and a little embarrassed.

"Oh."

A sly grin appeared on Nightwing’s face and he leaned in towards you continuing, “You are the fly ninja after all.”

"Oh my gosh.” You replied as you shoved your face into your hands trying your hardest not to laugh.

“By the way I’ve been meaning to ask you the fly ninja to all flies or just certain ones?”

You closed your eyes, shaking your head as laughter bubbled up in your lungs. Nightwing ignored your attempts at withholding giggles and continued.

“Like is it only fruit flies and the ones that hover around bananas or?”

Biting your lip you pulled away from your hands your face red, forcing the laughter back you looked him dead in the eyes and replied, “All flies obviously, I’m not discriminatory.”

He smiled and laughed. Silence cleaved the air and you felt nervous tension arise in you.

Quickly clambering for a topic to talk about you asked, “What were we talking about again?”

“About how I find you very a-peeling.”

You hesitated for a moment before giving him a disbelieving look. You shook your head, “... did you just- no. I’m not gonna, no.”

Pretending it never happened, you look away from him and move towards your couch leaning against it you let out a sigh.

“Read any good books lately.” Nightwing asks from your kitchen, a clatter of sorts following him, most likely he was raiding your cabinets as well.

“Of course,” You sighed, working as a librarian meant that you always had a good book, “What about you?”

Almost chuckling he replies, “Well I’m reading a book about anti-gravity... It’s impossible to put down.”

“That’s terrible.” You smiled, shaking your head trying not to laugh as well.

“Oh I know.” He laughed.

With a sigh you looked over your shoulder momentarily to see him looking into one of your cabinets. Not wanting things to go silent you decided to ask a safe question that will continue the conversation at least for a little while.

“How was your day?”

“It wasn’t too bad,” He began and something in his tone made you narrow your eyes, “Somebody stole all of my lamps. I couldn’t be more de-lighted. And this morning I wanted to take pictures of the fog but I mist my chance. I guess I could dew it tomorrow.”

Biting back laughter you turned away from him, placing your face into your hands, “Stop. These puns are too cheesy.”

“But I thought they were gouda.”

You froze rolling your eyes as a slight snort escaped you, “Dude.”

“It’s cheddar if you don’t get mad.” He continued.

Shaking your head again you closed your eyes trying your hardest to tune him out before you burst into a fit of laughter once again.

“I swiss you had the same humor as me. I won’t provolone this anymore. After all, I havarti taken this too far.” Nightwing snorted laughing as he made pun after pun.

“Oh ma gosh.”

Looking towards the ceiling you fought off a grin and the laughter, the tired laughter that was building up in your chest.

“I colby a better parmesan and stop all these cheesy pins but I ricotta continue.”

Before you could stop yourself laughter escaped you as you turned towards him again to see him looking at you with a mischievous smile on his face. You laugh a little harder and his smile widens, “Brie the way, how was your day today? I saga know.”

Letting out a snort, you smiled at him and decided to try a pun yourself, “That wasn’t very puny.”

For a moment a look of surprise crossed his face before a grin broke out across it and you felt your heart do a strange little fluttering jump.

Shaking his head he laughed, remarking, “Oh! That’s terrible, I love it.”

Your heart did an even bigger fluttering jump and you looked away from him. You didn’t exactly like what was happening. But you knew. Trying to change the subject before your heart fluttered again you moved around the arm of the couch and sat down.

“How was your day actually though?”

“Eh.”

You froze for a moment, it was a rare occasion in which Nightwing only said one worded replies. Usually it meant there was something he didn’t want to talk about or something he really wanted to vent about or ask advice about.

Not even turning towards him you stuck your hands under your legs and swung them slightly.

“Eh? Why eh?”

There was a pause, almost as if he was hesitant to reply, but then after a breath and silence filling the room making it slightly awkward he replied, “Girl troubles.”

This didn't really surprise you. Girl troubles were common amongst your guy friends, and since you were one of the very few girls who they didn’t ever plan on dating you were used to giving advice. However a strange sort of ache began in your chest and you felt hurt.

Just a friend, The thoughts whisper almost menacingly, he just sees you as a friend.

Ignoring the ache and the vile thoughts nipping at the back of your mind you raised an eyebrow and turned over your shoulder smiling playfully at him.

“Oooo do you like someone, as a civilian?... Wait, no, you like a civilian.” You corrected yourself, blinking a few times as you finally began to feel tired.

Instead of a reply, at first you hear the door to one of your cabinets open with a loud squeak. A rustling for a moment then the cabinet creaking closed. He was stealing your food. A soft smile and feeling appeared and you brought your legs up to your chest. Placing your chin on the dip in between your knees you sighed.

Honestly you didn’t mind but, it frustrated you a little though, that you were always going to be the best friend never the girl boys fell for. You were for friendship, not dating. Something you were beginning to wish you realized just a little bit earlier, maybe this would then all be easier.

“Yes,” Nightwing finally replied, “and it was just so frustrating because it seems like she hates me and likes my brother.”

You blinked and for a moment you thought about looking towards him, but you knew if he did he’d realize what he said. You had to approach this carefully, wrapping your arms around your legs you hum slightly before asking somewhat casually,

“Oh wait, you have a brother?”

“Ye-,” You practically see him nodding before he stopped himself.

Curiosity got the best of you and you decided to push your luck just a bit .

“It's one of the vigilantes isn’t it.”

Silence followed your question and you looked over to see him giving you a look. A look that said to stop talking, not to press further because you were hitting the nail on the head.

A smile of disbelief appeared on your face and you pulled away from your legs, eyes wide.

“Oh my gosh they are all your siblings aren’t they? But obviously they’re adopted. I know Signal’s black, I’m ninety-nine percent sure there was a blonde batgirl and a red-head, Blue Bird literally doesn’t look like any of you, and no one is able to see Black Bat’s face. Oh and don’t get me started on the Robin brigade.”

As you began rambling your hands flew around your face in a flurry of motion. The vigilantes were one of your favorite non-book things to talk about. Mainly because of the one in your kitchen but you really weren’t going to ever get into that... hopefully.

“You’re not wrong, “He sighed before pausing, “...Robin brigade?”

“I’m not getting into it.” You shook your head turning back away from him.

You weren’t about to tell him how ever since the first Robin came into play you like the vigilantes. Not about your opinions and theories, especially not when a lot of them were about him. Waving away the question you decided to change the subject.

“Anyways back to your girl problems. Why do you think she hates you?”

You could hear him munching on something as he probably contemplated how to explain the problem to you, “Well she never talks to me willingly, and when she does she always mutters or ends up sounding really angry.”

Twirling a strand of hair around your finger, you thought for a moment about what he said. It sounded a lot like what happens to you. Maybe this girl that he likes, also has anxiety and likes him, or it might just be because he makes her nervous.

“She might just like you dumbass,” You snorted, rolling your eyes, “I know that’s how it is for me. I mean with the guy I like-, I can’t even say one word without messing it up. So I have to slow it down. ”

You heard more munching and the crinkling of a bag before he mused, “Hmm, you think so?”

“Yeah, or you just make her really nervous.”

It was more than likely, for you it was both which only made matters more complicated and frustrating. Sometimes you wished you were normal, then this wouldn’t be a problem at all.

“Makes sense... by the way do you think if you practiced you could talk to him?”

Practice? You had tried practicing in the past, but whenever you tried to talk to him your anxiety took hold of your mouth and you spat out a word jumble instead of what you really wanted to say.

“Probably not, my anxiety always freaks me out telling me that I’m gonna say the wrong thing and scare him away because I’m too weird or something.”

He walked passed you into the living room before flopping down on your couch. You notice the bad and his hands and for the moment you decided to ignore it.

“Well just think about it this way, you’re super cool and awesome. And if he can’t see that he doesn’t deserve you.”

You paused for a moment. and looked over at him in slight disbelief, “You think I’m cool?”

“The coolest.” He replied smiling at you.

It was then that you noticed the bag he had was your Cheetos. While you didn’t mind, at the moment you felt... awkward. Standing up you walked over towards him and flopped down next to him. You needed someway to feel less awkward without sounding like a bitch... then you got an idea

“Aww, that's sweet...” You began turning towards him with a smile, “but if you take my fucking Cheetos again we’re through.”

For a moment you think you’ve made things worse until Nightwing bursts into laughter. Shaking his head he sighed and passed the bag over to you, with the bag now in your hands you looked over to him and took a moment to think over what he said.

You’re super cool and awesome. And if he can’t see that he doesn’t deserve you

Sighing you sat down next to him and rested your head on his shoulder, pulling a small handful you ate some Cheetos then offered them to him. He began taking some.

Was he telling the truth? Or just trying to make you feel better by saying that. Not knowing which was correct you felt you had to ask him.

“Do you really think that he wouldn’t deserve me if I make a fool of myself?” You asked as you felt him wrap an arm around your shoulder.

You heard him hesitate before you looked up to see him giving you a contemplating look.

“If you make a fool of yourself he should be saying something like... like. I think- I think I might just love you a little bit.”

Snorting you rolled your eyes, looked away and remarked without thinking, “Sure he should because unintelligible gibberish is the way to a man’s heart.”

“If he’s worth shit he’ll think it’s cute. I know I do.”

You knew he was flirting with you, you knew because it was something he did regularly. Something that was common with his personality. He constantly, he was never serious of course, that much you knew. So when you looked up at him slightly snorting to see him staring at you a soft and serious look on his face your heart did the fluttery jump and your stomach flipped.

Fucking shit

Looking away from him you felt your cheeks beginning to flush red. He was nice, he helped you feel a little less like an asshole, less like a bitch, more like a person. A good person. He made you feel cared for... and- and loved. He was amazing and a lot like All the man you’ll ever need-

Wait, no. No. It couldn’t be like that- no. He was hero- a vigilante. You would never be able to know his real identity. You wouldn’t ever actually able to be with him. No matter what your heart felt, no matter how spilt it was you couldn’t even entertain the thought.

His voice yanked you from your spiraling train of thought and you blinked. Giving you a soft smile he asked the question again.

“How was your day?”

Happy to not have to think about your feelings again you raised your head off of his shoulder and turned to him. Fully prepared to rant and bare your soul.

“Rough, honestly I made a complete and utter fucking fool of myself. I mean I panicked so much and I laughed, I full on laughed out loud. Cackled even, at the library. I never do that, and to make matters worse my crush, he asked for a book recommendation and I realized that he left his brothers, the two most chaotic people I know alone with each other and I panicked.”

You were talking quickly, shaking your head as the words stumbled from you, embarrassment following it. For a moment Nightwing was nodding as if he understood when suddenly he sat up straight, looking at you slightly confused.

“Wait, wait. What happened?” He asked an eyebrow raised.

“Well he asked me for a book recommendation and I realized that he left his brothers alone and I panicked and cursed at him before running back to make sure they weren’t trashing the library.” You explained again waving your hands about yawning afterwards.

He blinked twice then gave you a shocked look for a moment, “Your crush? Wait, he asked for a book recommendation?”

“Yeah! And then I realized that his brothers-”

Before you could finish he interrupted you a strange look on his face, “Did he say anything else?”

Blinking in confusion you raised an eyebrow thinking over what he said, then you shook your head, “What? Oh uh no I don’t think so.”

“Hmm,” He hummed slightly a smile on his face before he relaxed back onto the couch, “okay.”

Feeling confused and a little worried, you wanted to talk about how he was acting weird but didn’t know how. So you decided to continue talking about your day.

“Well after seriously embarrassing myself by going that I fumbled over my words while trying to give him a book. Then I decided to flee so I wouldn’t embarrass myself anymore. I was like five minute away from leaving when a regular- Mira- I’ve talked about her before. Well she came and started talking to me, I swear that give has like a sixth sense because she instantly knew I was freaking out and was able to help me avoid my crush and his brothers... speaking of brothers. I’m like ninety-nine percent sure one of them likes her, or at least is interested.”

Nightwing was smiling and he had an amused look on his face as if something was very interesting. Chuckling he looked to you seeing the confusion on your face he sighed before nodding.

“Interesting...sorry but somethings on my mind. When you start to have an anxiety attack or think about something can you accidentally tune stuff out?” He asked eyebrows raised

You blinked a few times before nodding and leaning against the couch once again.

“Oh, uh yeah. Sometimes I’m spiraling into an anxiety attack or anxious thoughts I accidentally tune people out... well what happens is that the thoughts overpower my ears.” You nodded with another yawn.

He nodded and gave you a strange sort of look, you were having a hard time focusing, blinking you kept your eyes open. Rubbing at your eyes you sighed.

“Tell me about your brother’s fuck ups on patrol, I need a good laugh.” You muttered as you held back a yawn.

“Okay then,” He replied laughing slightly.

Leaning against his shoulder again you grunted slightly. After your long day you were finally feeling tired, tired and safe. Nightwing was saying something to you, but you were having a hard time paying attention. Your eyes kept fluttering shut and before you knew it you were asleep.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

A few days later, you were in the library at your desk going about your daily routine when you spotted Jason in an aisle of book inspecting the pages of a heavy chapter book. Before you could spot any of the other Wayne boys Mira appeared in your peripheral vision a book in her hand and a smile on her face.

“Okay, before you stop me I just want to say this book is amazing and when you have the time I want to talk to you about it because I need to talk to someone. All the people in my apartment complex are like fifty and above, married or five and under.” She paused for a moment a look of realization crossing her face, “Of course married people aren’t hard to talk to it’s just they don’t want to talk to me and I’m rambling sorry.”

You almost laughed, Mira seemed flustered, something you hadn’t seen ever. The ends of her hair were peeking out of her black hat in an array of different shades of purple. With flushed cheeks and her hazel eyes wide, Mira looked like something was bugging her.

Leaning on the counter you let out a sigh, but noticed Jason approach towards your desk. A sly smile of sorts appeared on your face. If Jason was in fact interested in Mira a little push wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Unfortunately,” You began with a heavy sigh, “I don’t think I’ll be able to talk for a while... however, I’m sure Jason wouldn’t mind talking to you about it. He was actually the one who got me on the book.”

You gestured to Jason now stood behind Mira. For a moment, Mira froze before turning around, a tight smile on her face. She shot you a slight look of panic before she let out a breath and nodded.

“Uh, if your willing.”

Jason smiled at her and nodded. She nodded as well before giving you a quick wave goodbye. Watching them go you noticed how Mira stopped in an aisle still in your eye-line and sat down on the ground. Without even questioning it, Jason sat across from her.

The library was quiet enough that you didn’t really need to strain yourself to hear what the two of them were saying. You watched as Mira opened the book, hearing Jason say,

“So about the other night-”

Before he could even finish Mira interrupted him her cheeks and ears flushing a dark shade of red, “I’d prefer not to talk about it please.”

Nodding Jason let out a slight sigh before replying, “Alright.”

You were curious on what exactly had happened between the two of them, but before you could give another thought to it Damian walked up a stack of books in his arms. Raising an eyebrow you gave him a look,

“Starting a project of sorts?” You questioned as you began to check the books out to him.

Damian let out a slight huff before he nodded, “Father said I couldn’t get another pet until I know how to properly take care of it.”

You paused for a moment to look at the books, they were non-fiction books about a variety of different animals. Spanning from monkeys all the way to squirrels. Shaking your head you bit back a laugh as you imagined Bruce Wayne’s face when Damian brought in all the animals.

“Hmm, I think there might be some more books about animal care in aisle five.” You remarked off handedly noting the gleam in Damian’s eye.

“Really now?”

You nodded as you began to set the books to the side, pointing you showed him which aisle you were talking about.

“I can hold your books to the side while you go and grab some more, I mean you’ve got to cover all the bases right?”

While usually language like this would cause Damian to give you a look of distain, he bee-lined straight for the aisle. You laughed and turned to watch him when you spotted a guy standing right next to Mira and Jason.

“Are you here for me or him?” Mira asked not even looking up from her book.

The guy blinked and a extremely confused look crossed his face. He gave Mira a baffled look as he said, “Why would I be here for him?”

A mischievous smile appeared on her face for just a second before she looked up at him, shock all over her face.

“Why the hell wouldn’t you be here for him?” She exclaimed gesturing towards Jason, “Have you seen him? He’s fucking gorgeous!”

You had to shove your fist against your mouth to stop from bursting into laughter. You watched Jason do something similar as his face turned red as his entire body shook.

The guy went quiet and didn’t say anything else. Mira sighed and shook her head looking back to her book.

“Well if your here for me fuck off, if your here for him…” She trailed off as if to let Jason finish her sentence.

He did, “Fuck off as well.”

A look of slight surprise was on Mira’s face as she looked to Jason, a smile playing on her lips. “Oh really?”

He nodded and her smile widened before she looked back to her book, looking surprisingly happy.

“Awesome,” She remarked as she flipped the page, “anyways you heard us, fuck off dude.”

The guy glared at the two of them and turned away cursing. You laughed letting out a sigh as you saw Jason and Mira share a look before they began talking about the book.

Looking away from them you noticed Dick leaning on your desk a smile on his face. You flinched feeling your entire body beginning to panic.

“Hi.”

“Oh, uh,” You remarked before giving him a smile in return, taking in a breath you continued, “Hi.”

“So I read the book,” He says as he pushed up from the desk.

“Oh,” Is the only thing you can say, your mind felt blank as terror began crawling into every part of you.

Breathe, you told yourself, remember what Nightwing told you. If he can’t see the real you he doesn’t deserve you

You nodded and tried for a genuine smile on your face. Something flickered on Dick’s face and he smiled brighter.

“I was hoping we could talk about it over lunch or dinner.”

You blinked, once, twice then three times as what he said was slowly sinking in. It took you a second to realize he just asked you out. Internally you began to scream, externally your pretty sure the smile was frozen on your face as a look of confusion began at the corners of your eyes.

Taking in a breath you laughed slightly, nodding you let it out and tried your hardest to speak slowly. If you fucked this up you would never live it down, not only to anyone who heard the story but to yourself.

“Oh, that. sounds. fun! Sure.” You replied smiling.

“Awesome.”

It occurred to you, that you would be talking about the book amongst other things. And no matter his opinion you could give him other book recommendations. As excitement for the upcoming date raced in your veins a thought popped into your head, one of the whispers.

What if this is a prank? What if it’s all a practical joke being played

You hesitated for a moment before pushing the thought away. it wouldn’t-couldn’t be a joke. Dick was nice, nice and sweet. As your nerves began to climb up your throat you took another breath in.

Breathe

Trust

You had to trust, you could do that. Shoving away your worries you focused on the fact that you could recommend more books... something you realized he didn’t know.

“Icabevrecbak-” You began before you heard yourself.

Heat flushed your cheeks and you squeezed your eyes shut wincing. Peeking one open you didn’t dare try looking at him.

You can do this, you just had to breathe

“Sorry,” You began not looking at him as you breathed and tried to take it slow, “I meant I could recommend more books if you liked that one.”

“It’s fine.” Dick said waving a hand as if to brush off the apology, “Honestly I think it’s cute.”

You froze, it felt as if your brain just short-circuited. Blinking you felt yourself give him a look of disbelief.

Honestly I think it’s cute, echoed in your ears and then you heard what Nightwing said the night before,

If he’s worth shit he’ll think it’s cute. I know I do

Blinking you realized that he continued to speak. Instead of pretending what was going on you gave him a confused look and he smiled.

“I’d love if you recommended more book. How does tomorrow sound?”

You didn’t exactly know what was happening but you heard yourself replying, “Uh, great.”

You felt as if you were in a muddle, you could see what was happening and hear it but you could really feel anything. Faintly you heard a ringing and for a moment you were scared you were gonna pass out. A nervous laugh escaped you as you tried to breathe. An even wider grin appeared on his face and he leaned in towards you.

“You get off at four right?”

Nodding you continued to reply almost robotically, “Uh yeah.”

“Well I’ll pick you up from here then.”

You blinked, the muddle was slowly fading and you were finding yourself again. Clearing your throat you nodded again. You could feel your heart in your chest doing it’s fluttery jump as your stomach did non-stop flips.

“Okay.” You breathed out blinking again.

Dick nodded then shot you, what you can only imagine his classic playboy smile which sent your mind into a tizzy.

“I’ll see you then.”

“Uh okay, bye.” You mumbled out as you watched him walk away not exactly sure about what just happened but fully aware that you had a date with him the next day.

Holy fuck, you had a date with Dick Grayson. You couldn’t believe it, and as you felt your excitement race over you you remembered what Nightwing had, essentially, told you.

-You’re super cool and awesome. And if he can’t see that he doesn’t deserve you.

If you make a fool of yourself he should be saying something like... like. I think- I think I might just love you a little bit.

If he’s worth shit he’ll think it’s cute-

Pressing your face into your hands you tried your hardest not to blush. Not only did you have Nightwing’s words playing in your ears but the feelings you had for both him and Dick.

Fuck

You were completely and totally torn in half. After a moments thought you sighed. Maybe the phrase All The Man I Need wasn’t entirely true. After all one guy hadn’t exactly met all you needs, however if the both of them did have qualities that you needed-

No, no you weren’t going to think about that. After all right now you needed to focus on one guy, he was after all the one you were more likely going to end up in a actual relationship with. You had to focus on Dick Grayson... for now at least.

For now.

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italwayshadtobeyou · 9 months ago

Note

I think that Creation has the right-ish idea, at the wrong time. They should've begun experimenting with the broader CW brand's convention potential back when the Arrowverse and TVDverse were hot. Maybe even shuffle a few actors from The 100 into the deck. Replace some SPN actors with some other actors at a few conventions, see how sales compare to SPN-only cons. I'm actually surprised that that didn't happen back in the 2010s. In particular, it blows my mind that they never tried to monetize Katie Cassidy's status as a former member of the regular cast on SPN and ongoing member of the regular cast on Arrow.

Now, that strategy may or may not have worked, but it would've been a better bet than "Jensen and related IPs." At least people had a rough idea of what a CW show was, and many people watched SPN + other CW show(s), as evidenced by SPN's value when paired with them (x). For the most part, The CW made shows about dark themes and imaginary situations. At their best, these featured believable characters, yet remained escapist in the particulars of their plots. AND OH, THE ANGST. Maybe the network was the equivalent of fast food rather than fine dining, but, like successful franchise restaurants, it had more or less consistent products in just enough varieties to keep a broad crowd coming back.

"Jensen and associates from shows he's been in" is a tougher sell, at least at CE prices. I liked his performance as Soldier Boy in The Boys, but it's a wildly different show from SPN, and he didn't get enough great scenes with other characters to justify multiple panels with his co-stars. (I'm still irked by how little screen time he shared with Crimson Countess.) Smallville? Well, they can try, but it's a pretty deep cut, from a different era/iteration of the network, and his character doesn't even seem to be popular. Dark Angel? Good luck convincing personal-care maven Jessica Alba that she should take time off to sit on stage with a colleague, that she didn't even get along with, from 20 years ago.

SPN isn't a family show in the sense of "watch it all with your kindergarteners," but it's a show that many people remember fondly from middle and high school, and that many people now watch with their own middle- and high-school kids. And it's very much about the devastating/transcendent nature of intense relationships. The Boys is a satire of contemporary politics, with a heavy dose of shock value. It doesn't demand investment in any particular relationship, it's gross rather than spooky, and I'd certainly feel weird about watching it with a middle-schooler. At ComicCon or DragonCon, these two shows' audiences would spend most of their time in separate rooms. I don't think that, outside of a Jensen solo panel, fans are going to be happy troopers at a convention built around his résumé.

That could, of course, change, should Jensen get another role more compatible with SPN's brand. But for now, I think that his best bet is the same as Jared's: Do press for current roles, book solo panels at multi-fandom conventions, and avoid cons where he has to carry the interest of all the attendees.

So apparently, per a CE email, they are full on rebranding the 2024 SPN Con Tour as Jensen's:

We have some thrilling news to share with all of our fellow fans of The Boys! Creation is excited to present The Road So Far… The Road Ahead 2024 Tour, featuring none other than Jensen Ackles, who plays Soldier Boy in the hit Amazon Prime series. This is a special opportunity for fans to come together and celebrate Jensen Ackles' iconic role as Dean Winchester in Supernatural, as well as his new role in The Boys franchise. PLUS, we have more amazing SPN guests on the tour, including Misha Collins ("Castiel"), Jared Padalecki ("Sam Winchester") -- and Jeffrey Dean Morgan ("John Winchester") and Rob Benedict ("Chuck/God"), who will be joining The Boys cast in the upcoming Season 4! Watch the trailer for Season 4 above! Whether you're a longtime fan of Jensen or a new admirer, join us for a weekend filled with panel discussions, meet and greets, photo opportunities, autograph sessions, exclusive merchandise, and more. It’s the perfect chance to connect with your fellow fans and immerse yourself in the world of Supernatural and more. Don't miss out on a wild adventure! Click here and mark your calendars for your favorite destination. Your "The Boys are back!" friends at Creation Entertainment

So now Jared is included in the "amazing SPN guests"??? F*ck off. I know he isn't doing them all but this is just… a low blow tbh. This feels like CE's 'f*ck you' to Jared for branching out and essentially screwing them over.

I'm sure AA's and Jared antis will be celebrating int he streets, but Jared isn't doing less cons, he's just doing less CE cons. Also he's actually working.

Oh this is so funny! Always be careful of what you wish for because Jensen finally got his Dean show and the AAs finally got their Jensen-centric show but we all know AAs are actually sweating bullets that Jared won't be around to save Jensen from himself, and hellers will wonder which one of them is going to ruin Misha's reputation......

But seriously, clearly Creation Entertainment saw the math on the wall and the sum of which is a Jared-shaped-hole where money used to be. Jared actually has a career outside of Supernatural , so he Fox-Muldered himself. For reference...

But for Jensen and most alumni, Supernatural will be their best-known gigs. I said here and here 5 years ago that "Misha and the rest of the one hit wonders may have 5 years of con circuit to rake in the money, after that it’s Meet & Greets at strip malls". And that was assuming Jared would still be co-heading with Jensen.

So by now attendances are peeling off and a few actors apparently told their fans that CE reduced their salary to the point that either working at CE is no longer viable or CE essentially fired them. CE is desperate to attract new con-goers by throwing out The Boys mentions and adding Smallville actors and rebranding as "J1 and friends convention"! I wonder if CE is still demanding the same outrageous price for the privilege of a J2 event without one of the Js.

#spn cast #not-mine #mine #long post #i guess some people might consider this #jensen-critical #although i don't really mean it that way #i respect him as an actor #i just don't think he's as good at business #which is not that unusual for artistic types and does NOT mean i hate him or even dislike him

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erimeows · 3 years ago

Text

Yellow Roses

The first time was a learning experience.

Bumblebee had been innocent to the ways of human gift-giving back then, unsure of what to get or where to get it, but after using the internet and looking up where to buy gifts for humans, he found that there was a gift shop down the street from where the Autobot base was, and he begged and pleaded with Sari for some of her allowance money “for something important”.

He wasn’t sure what he wanted to get. What he was sure of, though, was that he was completely enamored with you and had been since day one- and he couldn’t bring himself to confess yet, but if he didn’t channel his feelings somehow, they were going to burst.

But as he approached the gift shop on that sunny day in Detroit, no other than Optimus Prime walked out and bumped into him. Thankfully, before he could fall back at the impact, Optimus reached out and caught him, placing him back on his feet with one strong servo.

“P-Prime, hey!” Bumblebee grinned and tried to look as inconspicuous as possible. He knew he wasn’t guilty of anything nefarious, per say, but he had no idea how Optimus would feel about him being in love with a human and wanting to buy gifts for said human with money that wasn’t his. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh, nothing much...” The other Autobot blatantly lied and hid a bouquet of blue and gold flowers that Bee didn’t know the name of behind his back, face burning the brightest shade of red the smaller bot had ever seen it. “Are you looking for something in particular?”

“I don’t know, I mean, what do humans even like?” Bumblebee muttered without thinking, and upon seeing Optimus’s optics widen, he raised his servos defensively and shook his head. “I mean, uh-! Never mind! What’s up with the flowers?”

“Ah,” Optimus gave an awkward grin and held the flowers in front of him instead of continuing to hide them, probably realizing that it was too late and Bumblebee had already seen them. The younger bot wondered if they were for Optimus or for someone else, but he didn’t dare ask, only listening to his leader talk. “I learned that unlike some other organic planets, on earth, it’s considered rude to pick plants if they’re in close proximity to someone’s home or in front of a public building or park unless they’re a specific type called weeds, which flowers aren’t, but I wanted to buy some for someone, so I came here to pick them up after asking Sari about it. Are you gift buying, too?”

“Well, yeah, I guess you could say that,” Bumblebee looked away and held his forearm in one servo, anxiously shifting his weight between his stabilizing servos. It felt like him and Optimus Prime had reached into the cookie jar and caught each other.

Bumblebee didn’t dare ask who the flowers were for even though he was dying to know in fear that Optimus would ask who he was at the gift shop for in return. An uncomfortable silence fell onto them momentarily, both of them quiet and staring at each other with the noise of traffic and the bustling Detroit citizens walking on the pavement who kept passing by to keep them company.

“I’ve been doing some reading since Sari’s birthday is in a few months,” Optimus tried to continue the conversation and cleared his throat. “The customs for gift giving can involve about anything when it comes to human girls, but the most common are flowers, books, chocolates, jewelry, clothing, video games, or gifts of practicality, which just seem to be hygiene products and things they can use in their daily lives. Gift cards and vouchers with money on them are also common, but considered less personable, so I wouldn’t go that route if you’re close with the one you’re buying for unless they specifically ask for it.”

“Oh... I gotcha. Good ideas, bossbot!” Bumblebee smiled again, the corners of his lip-plates sore from how forced it was due to his nerves.

What if Optimus had figured it out? That would defeat the whole point of his plan; buy you nice things and leave them at your door in the middle of the night without his name attached. It was simple and easy, but if Optimus knew before he even got to try it?

Well. That made it a lot harder.

Thankfully, though, Optimus gave him a nod and bid him a good afternoon, then walked away.

Bumblebee found himself letting out a sigh of relief.

Thank Primus...

...Hours later, Bumblebee regretted all of his life decisions. He was sitting, holed up in his room with one audial pressed up against your wall. It was a terrible habit of his, but he eavesdropped on you pretty frequently when he heard bits and pieces of you talking through the wall, and he was doing it right now.

He wasn’t sure how he had expected it to go, but when he dropped the bouquet of yellow roses at your bedroom doorstep when you were out for lunch and no one was in the halls, he had hoped that you would simply take the flowers, appreciate them, and never say another word. However, you were currently telling Sari about it, which made sense considering that the young girl dropped by your room often and asked you to do her hair or makeup as an excuse to spend time with you- you were an adult, a lot older than Sari, but the two of you got along very well considering that you were the only one who actually knew how to take care of her properly when Isaac Sumdac wasn’t around.

“I have no idea!” You exclaimed, no doubt in reference to the flowers. Bumblebee cringed. What if Sari made the connection that the money he had borrowed from her was for that? What if she told everyone, or what if you told everyone, and Prime realized why he was at that gift shop and let his secret slip? “I can only assume it was you or one of the guys, but like... I don’t know who.”

“Yeah, I have no idea! It wasn’t me, I would’ve just given ‘em to you. We should dig deeper, (y/n)!”

Oh. Oh, Primus, no.

“I’m not sure, Sari, whoever it was probably dropped it off like that for a reason,” Bumblebee heard you sigh, and at the same time, he let out a sigh of relief. Maybe you would just forget about it and-

“Wait! Do you have a secret admirer!?”

Dammit. Maybe not.

“I... Highly doubt that, the only one I’d be interested in anyways is-” You started, and then cut yourself off in a way that made Bumblebee’s spark shatter and crumble into little pieces inside his chassis. You were single, but you were already into someone? What if it wasn’t him? He’d understand, of course- Prime was stronger, Prowl was smooth, Bulkhead was talented, and Ratchet was intelligent. Compared to them, he felt like he didn’t have much to offer you. Everyone around him was amazing, and he was just there, but... He loved you, and he wanted you to know how loved you were. So, whether you’d love him back or not, he’d keep giving everything he had to you; even if the way in which he went about it was indirect. “Actually, never mind, but your braids are done-”

“No, wait, you can’t just gloss past that!” Sari whined. Bee almost didn’t want to hear the rest of your discussion, but he couldn’t keep himself from listening. “Who is it, who is it!?

“Let’s just go play Animal Crossing in the living room, we can talk about all of that at a later date, yeah?” You offered, voice laced with both your amusement and confusion.

“Fine, fine, but you have to tell me soon! Pinky promise.”

“Fine, pinky promise. Now let’s go.”

Bumblebee heard your door open and close, followed by what he presumed to be you and Sari’s footsteps in the hallway. The sound eventually dissipated.

The Autobot was left to lay back on his berth and stare at the ceiling with a huff.

You were telling others about the gift he left, trying to get to the bottom of it, and you were into someone or somebot he didn’t even know about.

What had he gotten himself into?

The second time, he felt a little better about it. It was a week later and he hadn’t heard any discussion of the subject amongst the other Autobots, so he assumed nothing had come from it.

But, as he lounged on the living room couch, he jumped upon you sitting down on the couch’s arm- right by where his head was laid.

It made sense that he had been jumpier around you over the past few days. Part of it was the usual I’m-in-love-with-you-and-super-tense-about-it jumpiness that he had become accustomed to, but it was made worse by the fact that he was guilty; guilty of keeping a secret from you, of indirectly lying to you. He could’ve done it the one time with the roses and let it die down after, but when you’d talked about your old game controller breaking the night before at the dinner table, he hadn’t been able to help himself- he went and got it along with a new bouquet of yellow roses, left it in front of your room later that night, knocked, and ran away.

It was the next day, and understandably, he’d been anxious about it. It was better than the first time, but he was just hoping you wouldn’t talk about it.

Of course, he was never that lucky, and you looked at him with the controller literally in your hands.

“Hey, Bee, do you know anything about this?” You asked.

Had he been caught? Did you know? Or were you just trying to get information from him in case he knew something? Unsure, he decided to play it safe and act oblivious.

“Huh? What’s that?”

“I’m taking that as a no, but someone left this new controller on my doorstep with a bouquet of roses? I needed a new one, but I only mentioned it to you and the others, so I think it’s one of you guys... But this is the second time I’ve received a gift without any name on it and I’m really confused. I’ve done some asking around, but the only one who seems to know anything is Optimus, and he won’t give me any hints and insists that he has no idea what I’m talking about.”

Great. So, Optimus probably realized why Bumblebee had been at the gift shop last week. Well... From what you said, it sounded like Optimus was at least decent enough to stay out of his business and keep the secret for him- or try to, at least.

“Yeah? That’s weird, I don’t really know why he’d be like that about it... Wanna play Streetfighter?”

“Sure, but I’m just super confused, man,” You muttered, turning on the playstation and giving a frustrated huff. The game quickly turned on, and while Bee took the old controller, you connected your brand new one and chose your stage, your character being Akuma. Bee chose Ken to fight with and listened to you continue as the game started. “I thought the first time might’ve just been a one-off thing, but it’s happened again, and the flowers were one thing, but now it’s flowers and a new controller. Anyone else would be creeped out, and I’m not creeped out- more flattered than anything since I know it’s from you or one of the other Autobots- but this is really expensive... I’d at least like to be able to say thank you!”

“That makes sense, I think I’d feel the same way,” The black and yellow bot mumbled. The game had hardly started and he was already losing due to his inability to focus- it was so bad that he couldn’t even combat you when you crowded his character into the corner and kicked him over and over and over again. His health bar dropped to zero, signaling that you’d won round one.

Round two started, and he did a little better; actually jumping away from your cornering attempts and offering some blasts and punches, but by the time it ended, he’d only gotten you down to half health, and you were delivering your final blow. Ken fell to the ground, Akuma still standing.

You didn’t even press replay despite being player one. No, instead, you let out a huff and stared at the ceiling. Bumblebee found himself resting his helm against your thigh without thinking, enjoying the warmth against his faceplates. You two were best friends, very comfortable with each other and with physical affection, so you didn’t mind it, only running a gentle hand over one of his audials in return.

Both of you set your controllers down. It was obvious that both of you were so focused on the subject of your anonymous gifts that the game didn’t catch either of your interests like it usually would.

“I might try to ask Optimus about it again tomorrow... Information extraction,” You joked, but Bumblebee quickly sat up and objected.

“Wait, I don’t think that’s such a good idea!”

“Huh? Why not? He’s the only one who’s given me so much as a reaction,” You argued and stood up to turn the game system off, then started pacing around the room. “And I guess his eyes getting all wide ‘n stuff may have just been something else, but like... It’s all I’ve got to go on.”

“Yeah, but you know how the bossbot is,” Bee stood as well, trying his hardest not to look like he was in the midst of blowing a circuit from the panic that was currently taking over his processor. “He shuts down when you push him too hard. If he knows anything about it, you gotta wait for him to come to you with that sweet info.”

“You’re probably right, Bee, thanks for the advice,” You smiled, and then walked to him to put a hand on his shoulder plate. “I’m gonna go to bed, ‘kay? Goodnight.”

You looked into his optics, and oh Primus, he was gone; your eyes were such a beautiful shade of (e/c), and your smile was so beautiful, and you were so beautiful, and he was so in love-

Quickly, he realized that he was taking too long to respond, so he quickly stammered something out.

“G-Goodnight...”

And then, you left, swiftly turning and walking out of the living room.

Bumblebee found himself letting out a sigh of relief, but at the same time, he missed you desperately.

He wished he’d given you a hug goodnight.

And, as he stood alone in the dark living room, he thought back to how exactly he’d ended up in his current predicament; painfully in love with a human, giving them things without having the courage to do it face-to-face, life feeling like it was falling apart with every hour that passed without him being able to kiss you and tell you how much he loved you like he so desperately wanted to.

He’d loved you from the very start, and as bold as he was, he couldn’t bring himself to tell you- he was just too scared, but...

What if this was what finally gave it away...?

The third time was what ended up blowing his cover. He should’ve left it alone, and he had told himself that after the last time- it was far too close of a call when you talked about Optimus knowing something, and he was so obvious with his own emotions during that, too... He wouldn’t do it again.

But then, he was shopping with Sari that day and saw a (f/c) hoodie that was just your size and style, and he decided you had to had it. So, when Sari was distracted at a different store, he got the hoodie, along with a new notebook, some pens, and a stuffed bee. He bought the gifts for you and put them in a nice gift bag with some paper, then left them by your door and disappeared before anyone could see him.

He was sitting in the living room yet again. It was late at night, and though him and his team had spent most of that night playing board games and catching up with a movie playing in the background, they’d all went to bed hours ago, leaving him to think by himself.

He’d lost at every game; Uno, Monopoly, Candyland, Sorry, Cards Against Humanity, and Scrabble, all because he was staring at you the entire time.

Why couldn’t he just get over himself and confess already? It was selfish to keep hiding from you, because what if the one you’d mentioned being interested in was actually him? And even if it wasn’t him, was it fair for you to think that he saw you as a friend when he was secretly in love with you? Was it fair for you to keep receiving gifts and never knowing who they were from?

Speak of the devil, though- the second Bumblebee looked up from where he was standing in the middle of the room, you were leaning against the doorway, wearing the hoodie he’d bought you and a pair of pajama shorts. You looked sleepy with your (h/l) (h/c) hair a mess and your soft hands rubbing the bleariness out of your (e/c) eyes.

“Bee?” You mumbled.

“(y/n), where’d you just come from? You look tired! You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m tired, but I’m fine. I was in the hallway, kinda waiting for everyone else to go to bed so I could talk to you, but... It took me a minute to come in here.” Bumblebee walked towards you and raised his optical ridge. His spark sank to the floor because oh Primus, was this it? Was it finally happening?

“Oh, uh... Why do you need to talk to me alone? What’s up?”

You averted your gaze and gently grabbed one of his servos with your hand, holding it tightly. Bumblebee took a sharp intake. You were about to start talking, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for it.

“I know it’s you,” You confessed with a guilty smile. Bumblebee froze in place and cringed. “I feel bad, but my curiosity was killing me, so I asked around some more and did a lot of prying- Optimus seemed like he was hiding something when I talked to him about it, so I pried until he gave up and told me that he suspected it was you; that he’d seen you at a gift shop the day I got the first bouquet, that he’d seen you lingering in the hallways the past few times I’ve gotten something, etcetera. He gave me enough details that I pieced it together, so... Yeah.”

“Well, at least it’s out of the way,” Bumblebee laughed out loud, and surprisingly, you smiled back at him. This wasn’t how he wanted it to come out, but he wasn’t sure it would have come out at all if not for this. “Getting human money without a real job is hard! Glad I could at least confess without having to do it so much that I went bankrupt.”

“Bee...” You started again, peering up at him, but he felt like he wasn’t ready for what was going to happen next. Were you about to reject him? He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

“Well, now that that’s done, I’m gonna go ahead and go to bed! I could use a really good recharge right about now-”

“Bee-” You cut him off with a pout and gripped his servo, obviously not done, but he only continued in hopes that you would give it up and let him escape the situation.

“Goodnight, (y/n)-”

“Bee!” You yelled and pulled him towards you by his wrist so you could get in his face. “For God’s sake, man, stop and listen to me talk for a second!”

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry! I just-” He tossed his hands up defensively, ready to spill his circuits out, only for you to cut him off.

“You don’t think I love you back, right? You’re such a dolt!” You exclaimed.

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Bumblebee yelled back at you, processor only catching the insult before he thought back on ‘I love you back’ and froze. “...Oh. Sorry.”

“I mean I’ve loved you for months now! Even before I realized it, I think I would’ve been more than open to dating you at any point in time, I mean... You’re pretty great. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Well, uh-” Bumblebee stopped and took in a deep intake, then sighed and linked your fingers with his digits so he could hold your hand properly. The anxiety that had been building up over you for so long now was finally leaving his body and being replaced by relief.“I don’t know. I feel kinda stupid now.”

“C’mere,” You mumbled and wrapped an arm around him. He hugged you back, taking you into his arms and resting his chin on top of your head... He could get used to that. You were warm and soft as you relaxed your body against his and allowed yourself to be held. You let go of his servo in favor of curling your hands and arms up by his chest. “Thank you for the gifts. They were really sweet and I loved them all, so... I’ll be sure to return the favor.”

“Return the favor? This is more than enough to return the favor!” He grinned, only hugging you tighter. “I’ve always wanted to just, like, hug you like this-”

“You can kiss me, too, if you want,” You offered, which had him pulling back to look down at you, spark lit aflame.

“Really?” Bumblebee asked, just to be sure.

“Of course.”

There was a moment of silence; hesitance from both ends. It was true that, while both of you had been physically affectionate as friends, you’d never kissed, and Bumblebee had certainly never kissed a human. He’d been waiting for this moment for so long, but he had no idea what to do now that it was actually happening.

Thankfully, you took the initiative and wrapped your arms over his shoulders, hands on the back of his neck. You looked up at him one more time before standing on your tip-toes so you could gently press your lips against his. Bumblebee was frozen still for a moment as he processed your warm, soft lips against his cool metal plating, but after the tension faded, he found himself resting his servos on your hips and melted into it.

One kiss turned into many; again, again, and again, you moved your lips against his in a manner so intoxicating that he couldn’t get enough of it.

Eventually, though, you pulled away and smiled up at him, but now that he had gotten to kiss you like that, he couldn’t help but want more.

“I, uh... I’m not sure the favor has been returned yet,” Bumblebee averted his optics from your eyes, able to feel his spark beating faster. “I might need one more kiss just to be sure-”

You chuckled, cutting him off by leaning up again and sloppily pushing your lips against his- and, with that, he was gone.

#bumblebee #tfa bumblebee #tfa optimus prime #optimus prime #tfa #transformers animated #transformers #fanfiction #x reader #bumblebee x reader #fluff #bulkhead #tfa bulkhead #bumblebee is the simpiest simp #and we love him for it #king goes bzbzbzbzbz #haha totally not writing comfort content rn bc jenny jinya released a new comic no sir

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