#at least I bothered to hang up the dress in my closet

[bestdressedchuuya]

Gonna be going to my local anime convention next weekend for the first time since 2019! I was planning on wearing this Tuesday cosplay to the 2020 con, but obviously that didn't happen :/ It shall finally be seeing the light of day

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

End Game 9

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, stalking, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your gaming buddy asks to meet up but it doesn’t go exactly as planned.

Characters: Andy Barber

Note: this wasn't my planned update but here we go.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Your grandmother is where she always is. In her chair reading her book. She doesn’t look up and you don’t bother saying a word. She’s getting exactly what she’s always wanted and she doesn’t even realise it. She’s getting rid of you. Another thing you’ve done for her that she’ll never acknowledge. 

You go into your room and look around. You sit on the bed and examine each wall. You’re not going to miss this place, just your freedom. There is no illusion left around Andy. He’s shown how far he’ll go to make his will your own. You don’t expect him to ‘take care of you’ as he keeps promising, not in the way it sounds. 

You huff and hold your head. You’re not going to sleep. You don’t have time to. You have to figure out what to take with you. What do you tell your grandmother? She won’t care either way, will she. She’ll finally have her empty nest. At least someone will have what they want. 

You don’t have much to your name. Your switch, your headset, controllers; that’s the expensive stuff. Your clothes are mostly used, easily replaceable. You’re not really worried about dressing up. 

You spend the hours going through every little nook and cranny. You’re not sentimental, you don’t have much that it more than material. Only a box of keepsakes from the few years of your life; a friendship bracelet the neighbour girl gave you before she moved away, some meaningless award you won in grade school for attendance, and the only thing left to you by your parents, besides resent; a baby sweater you wore when they thought they could love you. 

You fit everything you’re taking in a single bag. The rest you box up and drag out to the curb. In the early hours, the house is quiet and you try not to make too much noise. Your grandmother’s snores stir from her room. She’s blissfully ignorant just as always. 

You strip the bed and put the sheets and blanket in the wash. Hopefully you can switch it over before you go. You wipe down the furniture with a wet cloth and dust the corners and the empty closet. You’re covered in sweat and breathless by the time you have the entire space barren. You’re so tired you’re dizzy but closing your eyes only brings Andy’s voice to mind. 

There’s a creak and you raise your head as the ripples dissipate. Your grandmother slouches as she clings to the door handle and scowls. She looks around the room and her grey brow twitches. 

“Eh, what’re you doing?” She growls, “making all this noise.” 

“Leaving,” you shrug. 

“Leaving? To where?” 

You’re dumbfounded she’s even asked. You sit up and show your hands, “gotta go back to school soon anyway so I’m going to crash with Kara. I’ll leave money on the table when I go.” 

“Oh.” 

That’s all she says before she goes. She believes you only because she doesn’t care enough to doubt you. You hang your head and sigh. You can’t help but think of what Andy said. You hate to admit it but he’s right. There’s no one else who wants you. It doesn’t make him a better option, just the only. 

Thinking makes your head hurt. Or maybe that’s the lack of sleep. You check your phone and wrap up the charging cord. Morning already. Nearly 7am. You spent hours clearing out your old life; a life that was never really living. 

There’s a message waiting for you. Two. Both from Andy. The first is a good night you never answered and the second from just twenty minutes ago, asking if you’re awake. You send a thumbs up. That’s all you can handle right now. 

The call comes almost as soon as the message sends and the check mark turns blue. You answer without hesitation. Your so numb to the inevitability of it all, there’s no sense in avoiding any of it. You just want this over with even though you know it won’t be. 

“Morning, sweetheart,” Andy purrs from the other end. Your throat clenches and your cheeks tug into a frown. “How are you?” 

You go to speak and cough, your mouth dry. You clear your throat and rub your forehead as it throbs with the effort, “awake. Packed.” 

“Oh, honey, you sound tired.” 

“Mm,” you hum flatly. 

“I couldn’t sleep either,” he says, “I couldn’t stop thinking of you.” He pauses, waiting for the lies you won’t give him. “Well, when do you wanna head out? Do you need a little more time?” 

“Ready,” you utter. Not really ready but resigned.  

“Sure, sweetheart, I’ll just get myself together and be over in twenty minutes, how does that sound?” 

Why is he asking you like you have a choice? You garble an agreement and hang up. You put the phone down as you sit on the naked mattress and stare. Your head is swimming with fatigue. As you close your eyes, the fear returns. You’re really doing this. 

You fold over your lap and whimper. It’s over, not that it ever really begun. Not that you were ever really expected much. You just wanted to be your own person, have your own space, make your own way. For once in your life, you just wanted to be you. 

Andy isn’t going to let that happen. You don’t know him but you know he wants you to be something you aren’t. Whether it’s delusion or cruelty, you don’t know, but you know something isn’t right. It can never be right. 

You get up and unlock your phone. You key in a message with the last of your strength; ‘meet me at the corner’. You don’t think she’ll bother herself but you wouldn’t want your grandma to see the truth. You’re not sure she’d even care enough to judge you. 

You come out as she grumbles into a coffee cup. You roll your bag behind you and grab your jacket from the hook by the door; a light canvas one you wear in the mornings when the dew chills the air. She stares at the television as the news blares at her. 

“Here,” you take out the little bit of cash you have left to your name and place it on the table at her elbow, “I’m... going now.” 

“Erm,” she grunts and slurps the coffee. She doesn’t even look at you. Should you tell her you’re not coming back? You leave your keys with the money 

You just turn and pull your bag after you to the door, stopping only to put your shoes on. You open the front door and step out into the soft hues of morning. It would be a beautiful day if the world hadn’t gone gray. 

Your bag wheels scratch the pavement behind you, the whole thing jostling at the end of the long handle. You head down to the corner and park yourself on the curb, waiting as your eyes rove the area. You take it all in; the fences, the hedges, the cracked birdbath, and the few welcome signs on doors. 

The low whir of an engine approaches. You know without looking it’s him. But you do. You have to face it. 

“Hey,” Andy steps out as you stand on the curb. “Let me get this, sweetheart.” 

He reaches back inside the car and hits a switch. The trunk opens on its own. Is it pathetic that you’re kind of impressed by that? You’ve only seen trunks that you open with your hands. He lifts your bag inside easily and taps another button, the hatch closing slowly behind him. 

“Come on, you look beat,” he touches your shoulder and you flinch, curling inward as you shake his hand away. “I brought you a coffee. Not the hotel brew, the good stuff.” 

You numbly follow him around to the other side. He opens the car door and you stare at the interior. You take a breath and grab the trim of the door and haul yourself inside. You drop heavily into the seat and your head bounces against the rest. 

He lingers. You feel his gaze on you. He’s expecting something you can’t give him. Not yet. You don’t know if ever. You let out a murmur as he leans in to kiss your cheek. You fight not to show your disgust. 

“Just relax. I’ll drive, you get some sleep, sweetheart,” he caresses your arm. You don’t react. Not a look, not a flinch. 

He shuts the door and walks along the hood. You watch him through the windshield. He’s wearing one of those suits. Dark navy slacks and white shirt with a black tie. You let your head loll and see the matching jacket folded neatly in the back seat. 

He gets in the car, his weight felt in the axle. He hits the button to wake the engine and buckles his belt. He glances over. 

“Hey, safety first.” 

You huff. He's acting like the dad you never had. You click the seat belt into place and turn your face to the window. He inhales deeply and lets it out slow before he puts the SUV into gear. 

“You say goodbye to grandma?” 

“Mm... mhmm,” you grumble. 

“She’ll miss you, huh?” 

Your lip curls and you hide your face as you focus on the houses rolling slowly by. Why is he playing this game? Did he not throw her apathy in your face to get here? 

“Did you bring your switch? We could play some at the hotel,” he offers. 

You close your eyes and ball your fists. It takes everything you have left not to scream and hit him. It’s like he’s rubbing it in. He won! He won! 

And you lost. Just like always. 

“What about Kara?” You ask crisply. 

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re hoarse. Try some of the coffee,” he reaches to flick the top of a travel mug. You narrow your eyes as you follow the gesture. The purplish pink metal is topped with a white plastic lid. On the side, the outline of a game controller is patterned on the multicoloured finish. “It’s a good brew. Only a few places I’ve found have it. I’ll take you to the shop back home once you’re settled.” 

You’re not arguing with him. You’ve seen how far that gets you. You take the cup and pop the tab on top. You take a tentative sip as you feel the heat within. 

“I added some sugar,” he says. 

“I don’t like sugar,” you snap the lid shut and put the lid back. 

“Oh, sorry, sweetheart,” he chuckles, “guess we have a lot to learn about each other.” 

“Kara,” you insist again. 

He sighs and taps his fingers on the wheel, “I called last night. They’re holding her so we can pay the bond.” 

We? He’s not subtle. You sniff as your back racks with the sort of achiness that comes from being so tired. 

“I’ll talk to them. Get the charges knocked down. If anything, I can get them piled onto that boy she keeps around. He’s trouble, if I’ve ever seen it--” 

“Seen?” You echo, “have you... seen him?” 

He hesitates and his cheek dimples under his dark beard. He stares at the road ahead as his lips move as if he’s talking silently. Finally, he answers. 

“I only wanted to make sure you were safe. I know better than any that hanging out with the wrong crowd can get you into a lot of trouble--” 

“No, Andy, tell me. Were you watching her too?” You sit up with effort. 

“You should sleep, it’s a long drive,” he girds. 

“Andy, tell me--” 

“I had too. You cut me off and I had to be sure you were okay,” he insists. “And you weren’t. Not really. Sweetheart, things are going to be a lot better. Together. You just can’t see it right now because you never--” 

“Oh, I know what I’ve never had,” you fall back and slump against the door, “you don’t need to keep reminding me.” 

A roiling silence fills the compartment. He exhales again and slows as his blinker clicks noisily. He turns onto the next road as you feel his anxiety. Or maybe it’s your own. 

“I’m sorry. I only want...” he trails of as he measures his words, “I want to take care of you. To give you all that stuff. I don’t want you to feel bad.” 

“I’m tired,” you snip and fold your arms. 

“Right,” he says tensely, “yeah, get some sleep. Easier to talk after.” 

Talk? You’re done talking to him. He only says the same thing over and over again.  

[rzyraffek]

hey I hope this doesn’t sound like a weird request but could u like slashers (preferably Michael Myers, Jason, maybe Billy loomis or Stu?, and the Sinclair brothers) kidnapping “adopting” reader? Like them kind yknow unaliving (Child) readers family then like having to like care for reader???? Idk if it makes sense but it came to me in a dream about me being a kid and Michael myers becoming my dad 😭

ALSO ITS COMPLETELY PLATONIC OBVS ‼️‼️‼️

IM SORRY FOR 2WEEK BREAK I HAD TO!!

This request is such a cute idea!!! I made so much content about perent!slasher and kid!y/n cuz its way more entertaining for me to write!! Authors note at the end!

They/them, sfw, Request open

Slashers trying to be decent dad figures

Jason Voorhees

First of all, why on earth would your perent take you all the way here??? Your a smal baby and this is dangerous! Not only cuz jason is here, but wolfs? Boars? Huge forest AND lake???

So basically he didnt expect a child here

When he was in one of cabins he heard crying from bathroom, after few seconds of planing a murder he realised that is a child crying

His heart skipped a beat and he kinda begun to panic. HUH??? A CHILD? EEE eee oh god the whole backyard is covered in blood... oh no did I scare them?? Oh no

Dude gets more spooked than a child

After they got along he kinda makes them live in his cabin, he spends good portion of time just hanging around

Y/n gets used to their new mute friend and learns their own ways to understand him

Dude is that type of dad who will let y/n paint his nails and he will dress up in cute outfits just to make his kid happy

100% checks under their bed for monsters (and closet too!)

Wants to teach them all about nature! Which plants are good, how to find animals to eat, how to avoid humans

He dodges the topic of slaughtering y/n perents... where are they?? Ermmm idk didnt see them

Micheal Myers

Dude is pretty passive when it comes to kids

He exists, they exists, but as far as kids don't bother him, he won't bother them

But oh lourd..... your his little girl/boi/kid and he is going to do everything to keep it that way

He sees it differently than others, he helped you, took you away from those horrible people (no matter if y/n past perents were bad or good people) why would you want to leave? Or miss them?

But no matter how he feels, he is still Micheal, he won't be very cuddly or clingy. Then y/n needs comforting he will sit next to them, let them talk, tbh he is okay with them giving him some physical attention but he won't hug them back

Steals dolls, figurines, crayons for y/n

He never gets rid of his stalker nature, he is always there, watching, making sure there's noone in their way. Noone bothering or looking at y/n. He sometimes watches them sleep, just looking, he is the only monster in their closet

Huge fan of stickers btw

After good few months he takes off his mask when with y/n! He knows they accept him and love him! I mean his face is as emotionless as its owner but it still matters(at least now you know where he is staring at)

Billy and Stu

Dudes probably were like "eeeerr billy? That *instert y/n perents name* eee you didn't tell me they had a kid?" "the WHAT"

*stu giving y/n chocolates while billy panics in room next to it wondering wtf to do with y/n*

"We can't just keep it! Who is going to take care of it?"

They kept you btw, Billy will say that they did that only so you don't go and call police but they got really attached

Stu is the fun dad while Billy is the serious dad

"Hi baby we bought you happy meal" "child did you do your homework"

Billy rages over monopoli and stu cheats in uno

Sinclair brothers

"Lester who tf is in your truck?" "Eeee I found it?"

Vince lets y/n sleep in his bed when they have nightmares. He also really wants y/n to do arts like him😊

Lester just vibes, you like cars kid? Let's go on car trip! You like wildlife? I know where deers at!

Bo teaches y/n how to shoot while they are way too young to even hold a gun

Y/n will be extremely spoiled btw

None of them know how to cook full meal

Lester will call y/n buddy, pal, kiddo

Bo will call them child, goblin, spawn on satan, little princes(or a prince)

Vincent will see them as little creature and a baby

Vincent let's y/n play and decorate his hair, they also make wax figurines together and play with dog. He is more like older shy brother than a father figure but if you want you can work with this

Bo lets y/n sleep on him and draw on his arms, he also hopes y/n never grows up cuz they are tiny and cute. He also sometimes gives them his hat

Lester loves showing of his skull collection and driving around forest, just talking. He also enjoys lisening to y/n monologues while he is working

All of them get little heart attack when they hear y/n swear. All bets on Bo accidentally saying bad word next to y/n and them just repeating it

Bo and lester love to just put you on their shoulder! And vince just pickes y/n up like sack of potatos (but gently)

Tickle fights with Vince

Arm wrestling with Lester who pretends that y/n is too strong and lets them win

All x reader tags are here only to reach bigger audience! Im sorry if there's any misstypes or anything weird! I kinda wrote it in rush cuz I feel bad for making yall wait for requests so long! I should make this hc list longer but I am very tired. Goodnight

[maxsimagination]

𝗶'𝗺 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝗺 - 𝗰.𝗳𝗼𝗼𝗿𝗱

summary: drunk guys can’t seem to take a hint when girls brush them off.

-> bit spicy near the end

𖦹 masterlist

𝗜𝗧 𝗪𝗔𝗦 𝗔 𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗡𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧, and i was standing in caitlin's room getting ready. we were going out for drinks with some of the other arsenal girls; leah, alessia, katie, steph, lia and lotte. they had won the game they just played the day before so i thought that warranted a night out for drinks.

plus i hadn't been out with caitlin in a while. we were always balancing her career and training with mine, especially since she was a footballer and i was a physio.

i had just finished the light makeup that i could be bothered to put on and pulled two dresses out of the closet. i held them both up to my body trying to decide which one; there was a pale green, almost teal, dress with glitter that shone in the light and small silver chains as the straps, or a light blue slip dress that could be tightened at the back.

cait came out of the bathroom then, dressed in her black pants and white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows and the first two buttons left undone. she circled her arms around my waist from behind me, head leaning on the crook of my neck.

"i think the green one." i paused and held the two pieces to my body once more before hanging the blue one on back up and throwing the green one on the bed. "the green dress it is."

i turned around in her arms and she settled into my embrace. i pried myself away from cait's hold and starting slipping on the chosen garment. i pulled the straps up and cait was already moving my hair out of the way to zip the back up.

"thank you, caity." she pressed a kiss to my lips in response and i let out a light giggle and picked up the heels i'd chosen. i might regret it at the end of the night but for now it was worth the pain to look good. i grabbed my bag and sling it over my body, putting my phone, wallet keys and chapstick in there before i was ready.

"okay let's go."

we went out to the car, cait jumping in the drivers' seat. she had volunteered to stay sober so i could have a couple of drinks if i wanted to. it was a short drive to the bar we were meeting at and the other girls were already waiting out the front for us.

we both hopped out of the car and i gave each of them a hug. i hadn't seen leah or alessia since before the world cup when they were playing for england. the instant we entered the bar, there was people everywhere and music pumped through the building.

we grabbed a table in the corner and got settled. i volunteered to grab the first round and stood up to go to the bar when caitlin pulled my hand back and placed her card in my hand. "i can't use this cait, take it back."

i tried to give it back to her but she insisted.

"at least use it for the first round. i needa take care of my girl." i grinned down at her. "only the first round." she smiled and relented, sending me on my way. the bar was crowded but i found a seat and flagged down a bartender soon enough.

while i was waiting for the drinks, i was approached by a guy, he looked decent but i already knew how it was going to go. "hey, can i buy you a drink?" it started off okay, i politely declined. "no thankyou, i'm waiting on some already." he nodded and sat down on the stool next to me.

"what are you doing here?" he was blunt and straight to the point, i appreciated it and the lack of cringey pick up lines. "just on a night out with the girls." "could i get your number?" i knew it was coming and this was my favourite part of letting guys down. "no, i have a girlfriend."

a slight nod towards cait made him look over and he smiled back at me. "ah ok, apologies for overstepping." he collected his drink and gave a last smile before walking over to his group of friends. it was guys like him that i appreciated when i told them i was taken.

the bartender got all the drinks to me on a tray and i walked them back over to my table. cait had a hand on my thigh the second i was in the seat. "what did he want?" she spoke into my ear. "he asked for my number, but i told him i had a girlfriend. he was chill about it though." she nodded and rubbed her hand a little higher up my leg, slightly under the hem of my dress.

——

it had been about an hour and i was only on my second drink. alcohol had never been my thing and it didn't help that i was usually blackout after 7, minimum. the group decided it was my turn again so i stood up and this time cait came with me. we placed the order, me and cait both getting plain sprite.

we were waiting patiently when one of the previous guys' friends approached the bar next to us. he was clearly running on more alcohol than i was and i tried my best to ignore him. "can i get you a drink, pretty lady?"

i internally groaned, i didn't want to do this again. "no i'm good." my polite responses had left my body after the first guy, there was only so much i could take. "how about your number then?" he persisted and i tried to ignore him again.

"hey, i'm talkin' t'you. can i have your number?" "no." it was blunt, but this guy wouldn't leave it alone. thank goodness i had cait with me this time. she hadn't said anything but was watching if anything happened.

"why not?" there was a slur in the guys' words as he tried again. "because i have a girlfriend." he wasn't surprised at all when i said that, i figured his friend had already told him. cait bought our conjoined hands on top of the bar surface so the guy could clearly see. "it's fine, she can come too." he was slowly inching closer to me and i was getting uncomfortable.

"we aren't going with you. please leave us alone." it seemed that it was then that he got bold.

he placed his hand on my thigh and i jolted away from it. "don't touch me." cait was immediately on her feet and standing in front of me. "you need to leave us alone. now." her voice was stone cold and she was glaring at him, hard. if looks could kill, that guy would be dead.

apparently that wasn't enough for him to stop his advances, however and he tried one last time to ask me or us for our numbers. i had enough and stepped forward. "you just won't stop, will you? here's something you won't forget."

with that, i pulled my leg up and kneed him hard in the groin. he buckled onto the seat and let out a pained groan. i couldn't care less and grabbed cait's hand, grabbed the drinks that had probably been sitting there for a bit and stalked back to the table. the girls had been watching from their spot and they were grinning at me when i made it back.

"that was amazing, yn." i thanked them and we all sat back down but i wasn't happy anymore. i just wanted to go home.

cait could tell, "you wanna get out of here?" "please." so we stood up, and told the others that we were gonna head back. "just not feeling it anymore, sorry. you can have free range of the two sprites though." they were all happy then and started squabbling over who got the free drinks. me and cait went out to the car and drove home.

she had one hand on my knee and the other on the wheel, and slowly she slid it further up my leg. i was impatient and she was making me feel things so i grabbed her hand and placed it further towards my crotch and crossed my legs.

her hand was essentially stuck there. she wasn't complaining and had a smug look on her face. we finally got home and i couldn't open the door quick enough. once we were inside, cait kicked it closed and locked the door. she had me pressed up against the wall, hands above our heads.

"jump."

her voice had gone low and boy, was it hot. i followed and jumped up to wrap my legs around her waist. she pulled me back in for a kiss and somehow walked me to our bedroom.

"that guy couldn't do this, could he?"

i think it's safe to say that the guy definitely couldn't do what cait spent the rest of the night showing me.

[highschoolstoryliveson]

Chloe's Birthday(s)

17

On her seventeenth birthday, Chloe groans as her alarm clock wakes her up. At some point in the night her moms must’ve snuck in to change it from the song it usually plays. Miserably looking at the time, she doesn’t bother hitting snooze, just unplugging the thing entirely. Before she can fall back into bed and pretend to be sick for the day, her phone starts buzzing. 

Accepting the facetime invite, she’s unsurprised to see Chase on some sort of train. His eyes are bright, “Happy birthday, little sis!”

Rubbing her eyes, Chloe can’t help but smile at this. “I’m like an hour older than you, dummy.”

“Maybe so, but I’ve been seventeen for nine more hours than you. So for as long as I’m here, you get to be the younger twin.”

“That’s not… that’s not how any of that works.” She huffs out a laugh and yawns, “Have you had a good day so far?”

“Totally! My host parents got us train tickets to Paris! Originally they wanted to take me to the Louvre but I knew-”

“That if you ever went without me I would kill you, blood be damned?”

“Exactly. So instead we just got to explore- and it’s so beautiful here! And hate to say it, but the bread really lives up to the hype.” 

“Spent your birthday eating bread? And I thought my plans were sad.”

“Hey! I had a piece of bread. I just didn’t bring up the nightclub because I didn’t want to make you jealous.” Chloe rolls her eyes, letting him continue instead of continuing to torture him. It was his birthday too, after all. “And what do you mean? I thought you’d have a bunch of plans with all of your new friends.”

“Yeah, but after last year it all feels too soon, ya know? I just want today to go like normal… but with more chocolate chip pancakes of course.”

“Of course… but Chlo- you really shouldn’t let what Jeanette did ruin your literal birthday.” 

Wincing at the mention of the name, she has to resist the urge to hang up and hide under her covers. “Maybe…”

“You know I’m right.” Blowing some of his blonde hair out of his eye, Chase looks to the side to talk to someone offscreen. “Oh shit- we’re about to get home and Pav says they have another surprise for me. Just…try to do something nice for yourself. Let other people do something nice for you.” 

“I- I’ll try. Love you.”

“Love you too!” And with that he’s gone. Again. She flops back onto her bed and stares at the ceiling, still wondering if she can weasel her way out of going to school. 

16

On her sixteenth birthday, Chloe was woken up by two figures laughing as they tried to sneak into her room. Glad she had the warning, she was prepared when her two best friends jumped into her bed singing ‘happy birthday’ as loudly and off-key as possible. From down the hall she could hear Chase’s friends doing the same thing. 

Katie was quick to bury herself under the covers with Chloe, while Jeanette looked through her closet and picked through outfits until she landed on Chloe’s favorite dress. Tossing the garment onto the bed, her friends left to let her get dressed and to help her moms with breakfast. 

Pulling the dress over head, she noticed that one side of the dress was a bit heavier. Once she had smoothed down any wrinkles, her hand slipped into the left pocket. Fingers wrapping around a tiny box, she pulled the first gift out. 

Gently pulling the ribbon, her heart warmed as she saw a jewelry box. Inside was a locket with a picture of the three of them their freshman year. 

17

Eventually, she accepts that she needs to face the day head on instead of hiding away from it all. Even if Payton is sure to want to do something, there might still be time to stop whatever party she has planned. 

As if.

Still, she takes some extra time pulling herself together. From making sure that her shirt doesn’t have any wrinkles, to taking the time to curl her hair, Chloe lets herself pretend for at least a moment that it’ll just be a normal day. Maybe above average, with people being nicer and the occasional ‘happy birthday’ being murmured her way. 

Before she leaves for breakfast, she stops by the large rat cage in the corner of the room. Their cage is a strange mish mash of decorations, each one of her friends pitching something in. Taking her boys gently into her hands and putting them on her shoulder as she fills their food bowls, Chloe giggles as freckles licks her cheek. “Yeah yeah, sweet boys, thank you. We’ll make sure to do something for your birthday too.” 

While making her way downstairs, she’s not surprised by the smell of pancake batter and burning chocolate. Both of her moms are in the kitchen- Stacy covered in pancake batter and Jill in chocolate syrup and whipped cream. There’s a mark on Jill’s cheek that matches Stacy’s lipstick. 

“I thought we agreed no chocolate chip pancakes this year…after-”

Cutting her off and grabbing her shoulders, her mom leads her to the table. “And we listened, Sweetheart.” Kissing her cheek and leaving her with a mark to match her mom’s, she watches as they both go into the kitchen. While waiting for them to come back, Chloe takes a quick photo of the lipstick mark on her cheek before wiping it off with a napkin. A sting goes through her heart as she remembers that this is the first year Chase won’t have a matching one. 

Still, her face lights up when she sees the strawberry covered pancakes. “Chocolate chip and strawberry pancakes.” They set the plate in front of her with a flourish, steam still wafting off them. Swatting Chloe’s hand away when she tries to eat, Stacy quickly adds the whipped cream and sticks a candle in the middle dollop. “Make a wish.” 

Instead of doing so, Chloe blows out the candle and gives both of her moms a kiss on the cheek, thanking them before digging into her breakfast. 

16

Every year, her moms made the same mistake. And every year, breakfast would end with both of the twins needing to wash the whipped cream off of their faces and out of their hair because the cans had been left on the table. The dining room had been a bit crowded, Chloe with her two best friends, Chase and his four buddies from whatever he got up to after school, two of their aunts, and their moms- but it had been so full of cheer and love no one even thought to complain. 

“You should probably head out, if you don’t want to be late.” Jill advised her children while picking up the towels everyone had used to clean up. 

Pouting, Chase crossed his arms. “It’s our birthday and you’re making us take the bus?”

“Yeah! Come on, Mrs. M, don’t leave our bro hanging!” Mike or Kale or whoever the brunette slacker was stood up for them. Chloe would’ve felt bad about not knowing her brother’s friends’ names, but he changed his friend group every few weeks. At this point it was better not to get attached. 

“And who said you were taking the bus?” Stacy’s smile promised something amazing, “Look outside.” 

Seeing the two cars with large red bows on the top, neither twin had to ask what car was theirs. Chase ran over to the black used convertible with a cheer, jumping over the door and into the front seat. Only one of his friends could fit into the car with them, but he told them all to find their own rides and drove off- no doubt in anyone's mind that he would be skipping school that day. 

Smiling at his antics, Chloe made her way to the lime green beetle. Katie joined her in the front while Jeanette sat in the backseat. As she looked through the glovebox and dash, she found two more wrapped gifts. “Guys? How many of these are there?” 

“You’ll just have to see~” Katie sang into her ear

Tearing open the paper, Chloe smiled down at the photo of the three of them during the winter formal. Chloe’s dress was a size too big, Jeanette’s at the time new braces had pretty much forced her face into a semi-permanent grimace, and Katie had yet to perfect her technique for dying her hair so half of the red had already faded. It was perfect. 

“You guys-” she felt a little choked up, and it was hard to keep her voice high. Luckily, she had told both of them over the summer and they had been accepting. Lowering her voice slightly as she cleared her throat, Chloe ignored the side glance from the back seat. They were in the middle of nowhere Alabama- it was going to be jarring. She was just glad that neither of them hated her for it or tried to say that she wasn’t like them. 

17

Just as Chloe reaches for the door handle to drive herself to school, a knock startles her. When she opens the door, it’s to Autumn, Mia, and Payton standing with a box of cupcakes. “Happy birthday!” Payton sings, gracefully pushing past her and walking inside. 

“Guys, I thought we agreed not to do anything.” 

“Yeah, good luck with that.” Mia tilts her head towards Payton before grabbing a red velvet cupcake for herself and offering one to Chloe. 

After a bite, the pink haired girl huffed. “You’re lucky these are good.” 

Luckily, for the most part that was all anyone had planned for the day. Sure, every time someone passes Chloe in the hall they wish her a happy birthday, but that’s all she was wanting. Letting herself fall back into the chaos of things, she can almost forget what happened last year. 

16

In every single one of her classes, she found a tiny gift somewhere in or on her desk. She collected a mood ring, some heart earrings, and a signed poster from THE Claire Swanson. Even on the walk back to her car after school, Chloe spotted a gift tucked into a branch in the tree right next to the exit. In the box was a leather bound custom journal from Katie and a blue sweater from Jeanette.

Running her fingers over the soft fabric and looking at the thick cut pages of the journals, Chloe stopped holding herself back and tackled her two best friends in a crushing hug. “You two are the most amazing friends in the world.”

“Right back at ya.” Jeanette’s hold had been tight and protective around her while Katie nuzzled into the space between her neck and shoulder. It was almost overwhelming to feel so loved by two people. Chloe felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have them in her life. 

17

Chloe wishes that any of her friends knew how to be subtle. Not only was Payton’s wild goose chase an obvious way to waste time, but every single one of her friends cars immediately turned to the route to get to her house when they left. Starting to wonder how any of them were able to come off as suspicious or threatening in the beginning, she sighs and begins the doomed search for Payton’s lip gloss. 

An hour later, she gets a text saying that Payton actually just found the tube of glittery paste in her pocket and Chloe is good to go home. Sending a thumbs up in response, Chloe wonders if it’s too late to join her brother in Europe. 

“You know, making them wait isn’t going to stop the party.” A voice comes behind her. Chloe jumps and turns to see Beckett with a few books in his arms. “Just going to worry them.” 

“Well maybe I’ll let them worry,” She crosses her arms and slides down the wall and onto the floor. “I told them I didn’t want a party.” 

Sitting next to her, Beckett lets Chloe lean against his arm. “And I’m sure that they believed that you, Chloe Smith-McMannon, who throws the second most parties in this school, really meant that.” 

“Well I did.”

“Why?” He tilts his head, looking uncannily like his puppy, “I feel like you more than anyone deserve a day of people celebrating you. I mean look at how much you’ve done for this place, and it’s your first year in this state. Everyone at this school is coming from… something, and you gave them a home. Let them sing a few songs for you and shower you with affection.” 

Sighing, she leans into her friend's comfort for just a little bit longer. “You know, most exes don’t stay behind to talk their old partners into going to her own surprise party.” 

“Then I’m glad I don’t see you as an ex.” He stands up and offers his hand to help her up, “Just a best friend.” 

“You’re a cornball, you know that?” She accepts his hand. 

“And damn proud of it.” 

16

After school, the trio made their way to the skate park. Occasionally Chloe and Chase liked to rollerskate on the ramps or in the dip, but her skates were at home and her brother was god knows where. So instead they made their way to an unoccupied ramp, climbed to the top, and watched as Jeanette lit a joint for herself. 

Both Katie and Chloe were too terrified to ever try smoking- so they just sat beside her and watched. They had done this enough times that their noses didn’t even wrinkle at the smell of Jeanette’s subpar weed. 

For a while, they just basked in the silence. Chloe had long closed her eyes and been basking in the sun when she heard the scrape of wheels against old wood. Her eyes opened in time to see Wilbur Diaz- a senior she had known (and had a huge crush on) since freshman orientation. “Hear it’s your birthday, McMannon.” He said, catching himself on the ramp and pulling himself up with one hand to sit next to her. 

“Yep! Officially sixteen- can you see a difference?” 

At first he just jokingly glanced her over, but then he leaned in for a ‘closer look’. He was so close that Chloe could feel his soft breaths against her lips, and it wouldn’t take much for either of them to close the distance. “Nah, still cute.” 

“Hi, Wilbur!” Jeanette spoke up, effectively ruining the moment. 

“Hey, Jean.” he nodded at her before turning his attention back to Chloe, “So I was thinking, since I was a total dumbass for not getting you anything today- maybe I could make it up to you. Take you to my ma’s restaurant in the city?” He nervously picked at his thumb, and Chloe covered his hand with her own. 

“I’d love to.” 

17

Exactly like Chloe expected, her friends’ cars line the streets and all of the lights in the house are obviously turned off when she steps out of the car. Ignoring the loud shushing, she does her best to act shocked when everyone pops up from behind her furniture to yell ‘surprise!’ 

The first thing she does is hug Payton. “Thank you.” 

“Of course!” Excitedly taking her hands, Payton cheers, “Let's do gifts!”

“Don’t people usually save that for the end?” Chloe laughs as she’s dragged to the dining room- saying hello to everyone she can as they pass by. The table is piled reasonably high with gifts. 

With eyes somehow brighter than when she saw a puppy, Payton shook her head. “Who cares what people usually do? I’m SO excited for you to see what we all got you.” 

16

Jeanette had been quiet ever since the skate park, and it wasn’t until they were already halfway to Chloe’s house that she finally spoke up. “I’m actually not feeling great, could you drop me off at home?”

“Oh.” Chloe deflated slightly and turned back in concern, “Are you okay? I’m sure my moms have some-”

“And I’m sure I want to go home.” Jeanette snapped, cutting her off. 

“Right.” Chloe changed the directions on her phone. Still, her expression rose a little when Katie put her hand over her’s. At least this wouldn’t be a total wash, she’d still have her best friend with her. She wasn’t going to let something so small ruin her birthday. Jeanette would get over… whatever was making her so angry, and they’d all be okay. 

17

Going through all of the gifts, Chloe almost isn’t able to handle how oppressive everyone's affection becomes. Kallie gets her a pink teddy bear with a little clown hat and collar, Sakura and Nishan surprise her with an almost suspiciously large pile of all of their favorite games for her Xbox (Nishan says they split the cost, but Chloe knows how decent Sakura is at pirating games she thinks are too expensive), Mia and Ezra give her a CD with a professionally mixed version of the song she had originally made for the band’s first album. 

“I finally got them to sit down and listen to it-”

“And it’s awesome! Oh my god we need to do more fun stuff like that with your fiddle.”

“We’re also going to put it on the band’s website, as an introduction to our sound.”

In the gift from Payton, Chloe pulls out two tiny suits intricately sewn to fit her rats. They even have little nametags, ‘Freckles’ and ‘Bunch’ written in careful and tiny script. “What kind of fairy godmother would I be to them if I forgot them on your special day??”

Lastly, she makes her way over to the largest gift. Even if the wrapping paper wasn’t made of photos of the two of them hanging out, Chloe would know it was from Autumn. Carefully unwrapping the gift to keep the paper in tact, she’s rendered speechless by the painting revealed. 

It’s the day she came out to Autumn. The two of them are walking on the boardwalk with ice cream- tastefully colored to represent the trans flag. The both of them look realistic, but also the vibrant colors Autumn used almost makes it look like they’re glowing. With tears in her eyes, Chloe attacks her best friend in a hug- uncaring of Wes being knocked off balance next to her. “This is the most amazing thing anyone’s ever done for me!” She mumbled, struggling to hold back tears of joy. 

“I’m glad.” Gentle arms wrapped themselves around her, “I just wanted to capture how beautiful and amazing you are…I’m glad that I was able to get close.” 

After that, she’s able to really start enjoying herself. They order pizza and have too much cake, watch her favorite horror movies, and play truth or dare- ending with Chloe and Julian sharing the most awkward kiss in the history of the universe. 

As she melts into the couch next to her friends, squished between Payton and Wes and all the happier for it, her phone dings. She looks down to see a message from Katie, just a simple ‘Happy birthday, Sweetness’. Feeling her throat filling with bile and eyes stinging with tears, she quickly excuses herself and rushes outside. 

Noticing the haste that she left in, Wes shifts to glance at her phone. His eyebrows furrow and his mouth pulls back into the beginning of a frown. Grabbing his bag, he shifts through for a second until finding what he was looking for. “I’m going to take a smoke break, be right back.” 

“You know those things will kill you one day.” Autumn chides, but she’s still smiling and leans in to let him kiss her cheek before he goes outside. 

Sitting on the bench in the backyard, Chloe is only given a few seconds warning that someone is coming. Stifling her sobs and palming away the tears and makeup on her cheeks, she looks up to see Wes walk outside. Despite knowing that she looks like a mess, he doesn’t say anything when he sits next to her. He just lights his cigarette and after a moment, offers it to her. 

Ignoring the butterflies in her stomach when their fingers touch, Chloe takes the cigarette from him and takes a large inhale from it. Letting the smoke pass her lips, the nicotine rushes through her system and forces her back into the moment. 

They smoke in silence, passing the cigarette back and forth until it’s nothing but the butt. Tossing it into his bag to deal with later, Wes pulls a large stack of papers out of his bag. 

“What’s that?”

“Your birthday gift.” He hands the stack over, and she’s faced with maybe a hundred pictures. Some of the tweets sent out when the ‘news’ broke at her old school, some of photos of her, Jeanette, and Katie, and somehow there’s the message sent to Wilbur telling him about her not an hour after they had left the skate park. 

“Without explanation, this is a really shitty gift, Wes.” 

Smirking, he digs in his pocket, “Good thing that’s not all of it.” Finally, he pulls out his lighter and hands it over. “You shouldn’t let those bitches ruin your birthday. Jeanette ruined your life and Katie left you out to dry. Some fucking friends.” Chloe went to correct him but was interrupted by the lump in her throat. “It’s time to stop letting them get to you. Burn that shit to the ground.”

“You’re insane.” Still, she leads him over to the fire pit and sets the papers down. The two of them huddle in the chill night air and watch as the bitter memories go up in flames. 

From the window, Stacy and Jill watch as their little girl leans into the arms of one of her friends. Stacy reaches out to clutch her wife’s hand, and the two share a knowing look when they see how the teens are looking at each other. “I’m glad she’s finally learning to trust again.”

“Me too. I’m so proud of her, you know?”

The Next Day

Just as she’s getting out of homeroom, Chloe gets a frantic text from Payton. ‘SOS- Student clubs protesting’

[mschimdt]

Pissed

colonel miles quaritch x human reader

2161 words

warnings: too many

- - - - - - - - - -

you were part of the military back on earth, they signed you up when you were 16, your parents wanted nothing to do with you, you were 18 when the phoneix project was announced, your parsnts didnt hesitate to sign you up if it meant that youll get sent to a plannet trillions of miles away, they wantes to get rid of you

they provided everything for you on pandora, they had their way with ardmore and made sure you got everything, the only reason they gave you all this stuff is because theyre rich and didnt knoe what to do with their money

you had one of the biggest rooms in bridgehead, your room was basically an apartment

it had 2 bedrooms a kitchen and one luxury bathroom with a living room that could easily fit 20 avatars

you hated everyone, everyone knew you were a brat, everyone knew that ardmore would fuck anyone up if they tried to mess with you, simple because your parents were paying her to keep an eye on you, you didnt know why they bothered because they didnt give a fuck about your existence

you had two friends on bridgehead, seio and mysa, seio was a scientist that specialised in testing samples from around pandora and mysa was part of the pheonix project, you saw mysa more than you saw seio which meant you and mysa were closer

they were the only 2 people on bridgehead that actually cared about you, but they didnt care TOO much, so youre usually left alone with your thoughts in your room

you were hanging out with mysa, you two were yet to get your avatars, some people already got theirs such as the asshole colonel miles quaritch, you hated him, a self centered asshole that only cared about killing jake sully, his friend lyle also got his avatar

lyle was pretty similar to quaritch, both of them were assholes, they always stuck together, atleast lyle never left quaritchs side

there was a huge party happening in bridgehead, to celebrate those that are going to get their avatars such as you and mysa

it was on a saturday, you and mysa were getting ready in your room, you had the closet of your dreams, all the clothes you could wish for, you were looking for a dress, you didnt have anyone to impress but you still wanted to look good, who knows maybe someone will finally like you?

you put a long black silk dress on, and did your makeup, and made sure to wear your favourite gold heels, this wasnt how you usually dressed, usually you walked around in cargo pants and a tanktop, but not today, you needed a change

mysa got ready, but she on the other hand had someone to impress, there was this guy that she noticed was hitting on her, soon they became friends and noe they both clearly like eachother, but they wont admit it

you and mysa walked out of your room making your way to the ballroom that was recently built, it had a bar and a buffet, it opened once a month

you walked inside, everyone stared partying, you looked around and saw the recoms that youll be working with soon, you hated them but you knew if you showed it theyd fuck you up, you sat in a sofa near the door with mysa and her 'crush' he had his arms wrapped around her

suddenly mysa and her crush leave and im left alone, i open my phone because i didnt want to leave just yet, i texted mysa where she went and shr said she'll tell me tomorrow before training, i looked around, saw no one was imterested in me and decided that it was probably time to go back to my room because i couldnt spend any longer in this place, the music was over simulating

you noticed quaritch eyeing you with no shame he was eye fucking you, when he saw youd caught him he just kept staring, raising an eyebrow while both of you made eye contact

it was awkward to say the least but, quaritch was quite attractive and i was surpised he was staring at someone like me. especially because my body isnt really curvy or anything, i wondered why he was staring, there was really no rrason to stare ay me at all, im unattractive and ive accepted it.

you had enough of the eyecontact, you broke it and walked over towards him he noticed it and he smirked a bit, his plan worked, you looked pissed , with full confidence you spat out a "whyre you staring at me?!" you sounded reslly pissed and that was the colonels goal

he stood up towering over you. you were facing his crotch, you stepped back a bit and looked up your neck already in pain from how high you were lifting your head to look at his face

"whyre u talking to me like that, hm?" the colonel grinned at you.

"you know what, i dont know why i even approached you,my necks starting to hurt, im gonna leave, bye" you said turning around to face the door

quaritch grabbed you by your shoulders and spun you around to face him again, this time he was crouching down so he was face level with you

"yr' not leavin' until you explain why you disrespected me like that sweetheart" he said grinning at you again "c'mon, speak up"

"because you were staring at me, what else am i supposed to do when youre staring shamelessly at me?" you say looking way more pissed than before

"sweetheart, i was starin' at ya' because you look stunning, couldnt take my eyes of ya'" he said with a devilish smirk

"well that doesnt explain why you were staring at me for so long, im gonna leave ive had enough of you" you said turnung around again

"stop tryna leave, ya' wont leave until you know how to respect me" he said grabbung your shoulder, this time not lwtting go, anchoring you so u dont leave, "so you gon' tell me or will i have to make you?" you had an idea, you werent scared of him

"then make me" you said grinning at the colonel this time, his expression turned into a pissed one now "look whos laughing now" you laughed at his facr, but then suddenly you were pushed against a wall, you didnt even process it

the colonel spoke "alright then, ill make ya', unless you dont wanna be screaming my name tonight, ya should speak up sweet'eart." your realized he was probably drunk, because hes never sput out anything as filthy as this

"i dont listen to drunk men" you said sliding yourself under his arms trying to get away, although you didnt mind the idea of you sceaming his name in bed.

he grabbed you again, this time throwing you off his shoulders and outside the ballroom, you were heading to his bedroom, so he wasnt lying...

"please- im sorry sir!" panicking because you ddint expect this, "too late cupcake, yr' already in for it"

he pulled his keycard out of his pocket, rushing towards his bedroom and slapping the card on the scanner, the door unlocked and he walked in, tossing you on the bed then locking the door

you were staring at him, he walked over and spun you onto your stomache on his lap. "you gon' be a good girl?" you could hear the smile on his face "y-yes"

"yes what?"

"y-ye-yes sir..."

"good girl, thas one step closer to teaching you manners" he said, he didnt even ask before he slid your dress up, revealing your pink laced panties

you heard him whisper "god damn", he put his hands on your ass, kneading it, then suddenly you heard a slap and felt a sting on your ass, "count, if you mess up we'll start over"

"o-one.."

he spanks you again and again, your ass had red hand marks on it. quaritch likes the sight knowing it was his hands that caused this

after he was dome you were crying, not sad type of crying, the type of crying when youre enjoying something, he spun you back onto your back, kissing the tears that fell from your face, "you were so good" he whispered against your cheek, quaritch trailed kisses from your cheek all the way to above your tits then he lifted himself back up, held your chin and pressed a light kiss onto your lips, it was soft, not rough

"since you behaved fr' me, you deserve a reward" at this point your cunt was already dripping wet, quaritchs cock was hard aswell

you sat up and slid your dress off leaving you in just panties, your tits were exposed

quaritch just stared for a few seconds, then unexpectedly he dipped his face down and started kissing and sucking your nipples. he slid his hand under the waist band of your panties and then releasing it making a slapping sound against your skin

you reached your hands down and pulled the panties somewhere on the floor, quaritch seperated from your nipples and stood up he slid up his tanktop and unbuckled his belt sliding his pants down leaving him in boxers

you could see the tent in his boxers, he was huge

he grabbed the waistband and pulled them off discarding everything he was wearing onto the floor, then he lowered back against your tits continuing what he was doing you felt his hand sliwly make its way down your torso, until it reached your throbbing pussy, quaritch teased your thighs before taking both of his hands and opening your legs

he took ome of his fingers and dragged it between your flaps, making you moan, you wanted anything inside you, you heard quaritch speak against your nipples " so wet fr' me hm?"

"y-yes sir.."

he finally plopped a finger into your throbbing cunt, thrusting it into you while bending it, you were a moaning mess, but you knew you werent done, he kept finger fucking you until you said "i-im gonna cumm" he suddenly stopped. pulling his fingers out and lifting his head off your chest

"aww little y_n wants to cum? we'll, youll only be cumming on my cock hm sweetheart"

you were desperate, "please" you kept repeating it "please what? i wanna hear ya say it or it wont happen" "please fuck me" your brain was too foggy to process what you just said, "alright then, remember, you asked for it" he grabbed his cock that was leaking precum from the tip, and dragged it against your clit

he lined himself up and pushed himself in ever so slowly, knowing that he could hurt you if he went too fast, tears formed in your eyes, quaritch noticed it " you okay sweet'eart?" "y-yea kee- going" he nodded and pushrd himself in, he was almost all the way in when he felt his tip hit your cervix, "we can stay like this for a bit if you need a little time to adjust just know that next time i wont be this gentle with ya"

"move, please" you ddint have to ask twice before quaritch started slowly thrusting his cock in and out of you, slowly picking up his pace making sure to not hurt you, just a few seconds later quaritch was full on ramming into you while you moaned, you swore you heard quaritch let out a low moan

your legs started shaking "can -i cu-cum..?" "sure thing cupcake" you came on his cock, youve never felt this good before, your orgasm finally stopped and now you were feeling over simulated

he was fucking you dumb, you could barely let out words when you heart him say something like he was gonna cum, then you left something wsrm load inside of you, quaritch thrusted a few times more before placing his hands on both sides of your body holding himself up from collapsing over your fragile body

you stayed like that for a bit, then quaritch pulled out, you tried closing your legs but he forced them open, seeing his cum leaking from your pussy, he pulled some of it with his fingers and pushed it back inside of your cunt. he grabbed yoyr knees and roughly closed your leg

he layed down on his stomache next to you, wrappung a arm around your fucked out bodyx you could bsrely see things straight or say words

"lets get you cleaned up" he carrued you bridal style to the bathroom, setting you on the counted whike he ran a hot bath for both of you

he washed your hair and your body making sure you were clean before washing himself and wrapping you in a towel, he carried you back to his bed where you both slept the rest of the night holding eachother

- - - - - - - - - -

lmk if you want a part two

also lmk of therr ate any typos ive missed

[sykesandskittles]

CHAPTER TWO

Harlow

Harlow

AT NINE-THIRTY ON THE DOT, Talia is at my door, and she looks incredible, as always. She’s wearing a black strapless dress that shows off the butterfly tattoo right below her collarbone, and a pair of high-heels that make her at least two inches taller. She’s carrying a sequined clutch that only looks big enough to hold her phone.

She frowns at me. “You’re not wearing that.”

I glance down at myself and shrug. I’m wearing jeans, my cleanest pair of tennis shoes, and a sweater that’s kinda cute. It’s not as fancy as her dress, but it’s not as casual as my usual outfits, at least.

“There wasn’t a dress code on the invitation,” I point out.

With a sigh, Talia pushes into my room. “Hi Emily,” she says, waving at my roommate, who is sitting on her bed with her laptop, headphones covering her ears. Emily waves, then goes back to whatever she was doing.

Talia goes straight to my tiny closet, tearing through it like a woman on a mission. She pulls several things out, looks at them, then puts them back with a huff—until, finally, she finds something. She holds a short, maroon dress up to me, eyeing it critically. “Are your legs shaved?”

“Yeah. I shaved them yesterday before we went to the beach.”

“Good.” She pushes the dress into my chest. “Put this on while I find some shoes.”

I take the dress. “This dress is two years old. It’s way too small for me now.”

In the past two years, I’ve gained about fifteen or twenty pounds. And I don’t hate it, honestly. I know you’re supposed to want to be skinny, but I’ve always liked my curves, and the extra weight has never bothered me.

But shoving that twenty extra pounds into this dress is like asking me to stuff a rolled sleeping bag back into its sack. Some things are just impossible.

“Perfect,” Talia says. “It’ll show off your assets. Now, hurry. We’ve got to go.”

With a sigh, I tug the dress on just to prove how wrong Talia 's vision is. But once the dress settles into place, it actually doesn’t look too bad. It’s tight, but it props my breasts up nicely, making them look far more perky than they actually are. The only downside is that the dress is really short, so half my ass is hanging out. But whatever. It’ll work for a couple of hours.

Talia steps back, and looks me over, head to toe. “Minimal makeup, but you can get away with that. You look gorgeous.” She shoves a pair of black strappy kitten heels at me. “Now let’s go. It’s going to take at least ten minutes to get across campus.”

Thankfully, the residence halls here don’t have curfews, otherwise, we’d be fucked. We make it across campus in record time, but that’s because I’m practically running. The campus is dead at night and darkness seeps into every corner, so the unease I feel is pretty intense.

I’m so anxious, I barely notice the cold wind coming off the ocean. I’m just determined to get to Rush House, clutching my pocket-sized stun gun the entire way. I only shove it into my small purse once we see the spire of the old house jutting up over the student affairs building.

The house is just as dark and mysterious as I remember, and a shiver rolls down my spine as we walk past two gnarled gargoyles that flank the walkway leading up to the porch.

As we get closer, I can see there’s someone dressed in a tux standing at the door. He eyes us as we walk up. “This is a private event,” he says just as we mount the top step.

I pull out my invite and hand him both pieces. He glances down at them, then looks up at me. “Name?”

I hesitate, and Talia nudges me. “Harlow Anderson and Talia Langley.” His gaze shifts to Talia , and there’s a second when I think he’s going to turn us away. But instead, he holds out a basket that has a pile of cell

phones inside. “Phones aren’t allowed,” he says by way of explanation.

Talia pops forward, dropping her cell phone into the basket, then snatches mine and puts it in the basket, too. I open my mouth to say something—namely how ridiculous there is no cell phone rule is—but the guy opens the giant oak door, and Talia is already pulling me inside.

The second I step over the threshold, into the foyer, I suck in a breath. The outside of the house is creepy as fuck, but the inside isn’t much better. It’s giving…Haunted Mansion. Wide sweeping staircase, dark hallways, oversized portraits. Wealth practically drips from every antique surface. I’m betting the vase in the foyer alone would fetch a fortune on Marketplace.

Talia and I are guided to the right, and into a large room, where everyone is gathered. Right outside the doorway, there’s a sign on a pedestal that reads, “Silence past this point.”

I grab Talia 's arm, and make a face, like what the fuck? She just shrugs and continues walking deeper into the room. Someone with a tray hands us each a glass of champagne, which I tip back and drain immediately, grabbing a fresh glass before the guy can walk away.

Talia gives me a look, but whatever. If I’m going to make it through the next couple of hours, then I’ll need to be comfortably numb. It’s the only way.

We stop at the edge of the room, and I scan the large, elegant space. Expensive-looking paintings hang on the walls in gold frames, and there’s a crystal chandelier suspended in the center of the room. Everything about this ancient house screams wealth, privilege, and the elite.

My gaze shifts to the faces surrounding me, and the first thing I notice is the fact that there are so few guys here. This room is filled with girls, probably all ExU students, each more stunning than the last. They’re all wearing designer dresses paired with chunky jewelry, and Gucci purses slung over their bony shoulders. I feel like I’ve tumbled down the rabbit hole and landed in some kind of couture ad.

Heels clack on the hardwood floor as the girls walk around, completely silent, sipping their drinks. Some stand in groups, while others look like they’re making an effort to be seen–strutting elegantly, champagne in hand, chins tilted upward.

Thump. Thump. Thump .

I can’t see where the sound is coming from, but on the other side of the room, four cloaked figures emerge, filing into the room—the same mysterious figures from last night. But this time, they’re not wearing the gold masks.

The second they enter, there’s a renewed energy in the air. The cloaked figures fan out, dispersing into the crowd–and as they pass each girl, their gazes linger, like they’re assessing each person individually.

Um.

I lean into Talia .“What’s happening?”

She shrugs without looking at me, her eyes glued to this odd thing unfolding in front of us.

I try to make out the stranger from last night—the one with wintery brown eyes. But I never saw his face, and these guys all look similar—huge, broad-shouldered, and they all walk with the confidence that comes with being born into wealth and privilege.

I wonder if these are The Omens that the website mentioned.

I take two large gulps of my champagne, tilting my head back, and closing my eyes as the bubbles slide down my throat. I’m already feeling a bit lightheaded from the first glass, so things are moving along nicely. A couple more drinks and I may even forget why I’m here.

One can only hope.

I hold up my empty glass and lean over to Talia . She’s barely even touched her drink. “I’m going to hunt down more champagne,” I say a little louder than I intend.

Talia elbows me. “Shhh. My God, Harlow , are you trying to get us kicked out? Go and come back quickly.”

With a nod, I scan the immediate area and spot a guy with a tray moving toward the center of the room. Nice. I start after him, like a lioness stalking a gazelle on the Serengeti. Wobbling a little on my heels, I weave my way through the patches of fellow college girls, keeping those tall champagne flutes squarely in my line of vision.

I’m halfway to my fresh glass when a wall of muscle appears in front of me. A wall that’s encased in a long, navy blue robe. Up close, I can see the hood is separate and made of a velvety black material–no idea why I fixate on that small detail.

Glancing up, up, up, I gulp audibly when I catch a glimpse of the Wall’s face—classically handsome with a cut jawline, straight nose, dark, wavy hair, and those light brown eyes that cut into me with such raw intensity, it makes my heart skip a beat. Or maybe it just stops completely. Either way, I feel a bit faint.

This is the guy from last night. I know it instinctively.

I take a step back to give him room to pass, but in the process, I teeter on my heel and start to go down. He catches me by the arms, and steadys me, his long fingers gripping me tightly, almost painfully.

“Um, t-thanks,” I say. But his hands linger on me, and his eyes are narrowed, his lips pressed into a hard line. He looks…angry, almost like he doesn’t want me here.

Before I can even feel a twinge of embarrassment, though, someone bumps into me from behind, shoving me into the angry stranger, my front pressed into his rock-hard chest. He barely moves, so it’s like being pinned against a slab of granite. A warm slab of granite that smells faintly like the ocean.

I push against his chest to separate us. “S-sorry.”

With a quirk of his full lips, he dips his head and speaks directly in my ear, “You’d better watch your step, Little Rabbit. In this house, there are vipers everywhere.”

I swallow a wisp of air .

Little Rabbit? Vipers?

My mind works overtime trying to figure out what he could mean, but I come up blank. So I open my mouth to ask him, but he’s already walking away, being swallowed up by a bunch of girls trying to get his attention.

I manage to grab the champagne I was after, but as I make my way back to Talia , I notice everyone in the room is looking at me, their gazes following me from under a sea of fake lashes. The distinct vibe of disapproval trails my every step.

When I get back to Talia , she’s standing next to another girl, talking in low tones behind her glass—I’m guessing so she isn’t seen breaking the rules. The other girl is wearing a satin navy-blue dress that falls mid-thigh and shows off her long, gold-tinted legs. She has an easy smile, and it looks like Talia and her have already made friends. Talia has always been that way. She could make a life-long friend while standing in line at the post office.

The girl smiles at me, flashing a row of perfectly white teeth.

Talia leans into me. “This is Wyn. She was just explaining all of this to me.”

I nod and force a smile at Wyn, still a little shaken by my encounter with the angry guy. I ball my hand into a fist to stop it from trembling.

Wyn comes over to stand next to me, so I’m sandwiched between her and Talia . We huddle a little, holding our glasses up to our mouths so that we can whisper.

“Hey,” Wyn says. “Welcome.”

“Thanks,” I responded, my voice barely audible. “I’m Harlow . ”

“Oh, wow, that’s a unique name,” she says. “Don’t worry. If they catch us talking they’ll just come over and tell us to stop. They won’t kick us out.”

Bummer. Getting kicked out is the best-case scenario at this point.

Wyn lifts her perfectly manicured brows. “We saw you talking to Noah Sabastian a minute ago.”

Noah. So that’s his name.

“Yeah, I almost trampled his foot.”

“He’s one of the four Omen boys, and every girl in this room is after him,” she says.

Well, that explains the tsunami of dirty looks that came roaring at me a few minutes ago.

I scrunch my nose. “Not sure why they’re after him, but whatever. To each their own, I guess.”

Wyn smiles. “I mean, aside from his fuck-me face, he’s insanely rich. He owns this house, and he has more power at this school than the fucking Dean. So, yeah…”

Damn.

I’m not sure what to say to that, but thankfully, I’m saved from having to reply. A young guy in a suit walks to the center of the room, and thumps

on the floor with a carved stick, re-creating the same thump, thump, thump

from before.

The silence in the room grows thicker, expectant.

“The Omens will now make their selections,” he intones, his deep voice echoing off the dark, wood-paneled walls. Excited chatter ripples like little waves throughout the room, breaking the spell of silence. No one says it explicitly, but I guess we can talk now.

“Oh, shit,” Talia squeaks. “It’s happening.”

I take a sip of my champagne and turn to Wyn. “What are they selecting? ”

“They’ll each choose a consort for the upcoming academic year.” She spreads her hands, gesturing to the room. “That’s what this whole Preference Ceremony is.”

I blink. Did he just say consort?

What in the middle ages is happening here?

If they start sacrificing people, I’m leaving. Period.

I half-turn to Talia and pull a face, like, did you just hear what I just heard? But she doesn’t even see me. Her gaze is fixed on what’s happening with this guy thumping his stick, trying to bring everyone to attention. She’s always been really into this kind of thing. Cliques. Groups. Clubs. You name it, and if it’s considered cool, she wants to be a part of it.

I’ve clearly lost Talia , so I turn back to Wyn. “So what happens after they make their selections?” I practically gag on that last part, because you’d think we were talking about lobsters in a tank. Not actual people.

Wyn doesn’t have a chance to answer, though, because immediately after the guy makes that announcement, all the girls assemble themselves, gathering in the middle of the room. Wyn directs us to join as well, even though we’re not really a part of whatever this is.

The four Omen boys step up onto a wooden platform and stand in a line, shoulder to shoulder, hands clasped behind their backs. Masters of the universe. Kings of their domain.

Noah snags my attention first, and I can’t help but replay our last interaction in my head—the warmth of his breath brushing across my cheek, his hand squeezing my arm just a fraction too tight. I swallow, and suck in a long pull of perfumed air, trying to calm the anxiety pooling in my stomach .

Talia homes in on my discomfort. “What’s wrong, babe?”

I blow out a breath and drum up a reason, pulled from the plethora of my insecurities. “I don’t know, I guess I just feel out of place here.”

“Why?” Talia scoffs. “Because these people are rich? Who cares? You’re cooler than anyone here. You know, you really need to start that positive affirmation journal I gave you.”

Journals have never really been my thing. Why write my emotions down when I can just bottle them up inside, and wait for them to ferment? Drunk on my own pain. Sounds perfect. I doubt my therapist would agree, though. I can practically hear him in my mind.

This is a new beginning, Harlow . Put the past aside, and be brave.

I thread my arm through Talia 's. If I’m brave, it’s because she’s here with me. No matter the situation, she’s always on my side, always encouraging me. She’s the one person in my life—besides my grandmother

—who truly loves me.

I glance back up at the platform, shifting my gaze to the two guys to Noah’s right. They have similar features, so they must be brothers— Dark, classically handsome, both with long hair that falls to their shoulders

Then there’s the guy to Noah’s left—incredibly tall, with dark hair and an expression that looks like a permanent scowl, and if the breadth of his shoulders is any indication, then he must be built like a brick house under that robe.

One thing they have in common, though—they all look like trust fund kids. Like they all have kidnap insurance and throw beer cans off their yachts.

“So, who are these guys?” I ask Wyn.

“Noah Sabastian ,Nick folio, and those two are fraternal twins— Nicholas and Jolly Karlsson. They rule the Burning Crown.”

I nod, shocked that Wyn is being so forthcoming. Maybe she figures our presence here is approval enough to let us in on the basics. Whatever her reason, I’m just happy someone is explaining things.

My eyes shift back to the guys, and I study them. “They look douchey.” Sexy, undoubtedly toned under those robes, with faces like that? Yeah, no thanks. Guys like that are always more trouble than they’re worth. Universally.

“You’re not wrong,” Wyn laughs. “but they’re also worshiped around here. Their families practically own the school. Their last names are on

every building on campus.”

It’s meant to make them sound impressive, but somehow it just makes them even more douchey. College guys being worshiped? Ugh.

Wyn continues, “Noah is the oldest, so he’ll choose first.”

And almost like Wyn had summoned him, Noah steps forward. I watch with curiosity as he recites something—in Latin maybe—looking down into the sea of girls. There’s a buzz of excitement, like they’re all waiting with their breaths held, hoping to be chosen as prom queen.

Wow.

But as I look around, I realize how important this ceremony is to everyone here, and I feel bad for judging this whole thing so harshly. This ceremony is a crazy concept to me, but hey, it takes all kinds, right?

With a less critical eye, I study the faces of the girls surrounding me. We all have our weird things, right? And everyone wants to be the chosen one, singled out amid an ocean of beautiful faces. Plucked from the shadows.

Well, everyone, except me.

I’ve been there, done that, and have the emotional scars to prove it. I’m perfectly content in the shadows.

But I shouldn’t color everything with my own experiences.

I’m contemplating that when everything suddenly goes still, and the room falls back into silence. A hundred pairs of eyes slowly turn in my direction. I just blink back at them, confused. What’s happening? It isn’t until Talia nudges me that I realize why they’re all staring. Noah is still standing on the platform, his Dark Brown eyes locked on one target.

Me.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

My room has been off limits to my cats since I started collecting dolls because they’re all on display, but my older and newer cats are not getting along as well as I hoped because the younger cat wants to play all the time and my older cat doesn’t like other cats as much as we thought despite having always lived with one or more additional cats. Mistakenly after our last cat passed, we got a kitten for our older cat because we perceived her to be lonely. Now we’re attached to both cats, but they don’t get along great. They don’t try to kill each other or anything and they can coexist as long as everyone is calm, but the second my older cat moves to get water or something, our younger cat thinks it’s playtime.

We’ve solved this a little bit because we got a special pen for our younger cat to keep him where he can play and eat without bothering our older cat, and our older cat has always been an indoor/outdoor cat because she was feral when we got her and my mom doesn’t believe in keeping a wild animal completely inside (my cat is very much not wild, but she does not like being inside for more than an hour or two unless it’s really cold out), so both cats get plenty of time to free roam the house without the other’s interference. However, it’s really cold now, so our older cat spends most of the day inside and all of the rooms in my house have valuables displayed in them outside of our bottom floor, so the cats can’t be let into the upstairs rooms without supervision. We tried letting the older cat into one room that she likes spending time in without getting into trouble, but she won’t share it with the room’s occupant, so it doesn’t work when he’s home.

Out of stress from my little cat being confined all day now and the fighting between them when he’s not, I decided that I would sacrifice my room where I display my dolls. I’m rarely in the room as it’s the size of a closet and I mostly sleep in my living room in order to take care of the younger cat who needs a lot of attention and because I spend most of my day there anyway plus my recliner chair is far more comfortable for my joint issues than my bed. Because of all this, I thought it would be best to just give my room to my elder cat, but in order to do that I would have to box up all my dolls.

I hate this. I know I’m never in the room, so I only see them when I take them downstairs to dress them or play with them, but I hate having them in boxes. I couldn’t even bring myself to put them in actual boxes because then they’d be alone in the dark (I know that they’re not real, but I was raised to believe that every loved object has some part of a soul and thus should be treated with the care and reverence you would treat a person or at least a pet) so I very carefully piled my favorite dolls into a big plastic tub with a lid, so they still can see the room and they’re not alone and I can get to them easily, and then other smaller dolls got placed in boxes together. I only left out my vinyl dolls because I’m not worried about them getting knocked over and my elder cat isn’t very interested in chewing or anything, so I figured they’d be fine. I can still go see them and play with them wherever I want, but it makes me so sad to have them boxed up like this.

I know that my cat’s comfort and safety is more important than my dolls getting to sit on a shelf, but it’s very frustrating to me and it makes me feel really guilty and I wish I had room for a cabinet or a closet to keep my dolls displayed in. Hopefully, come spring, I can display my babies again because my elder cat will just go back to hanging out outside like she prefers to, and further than that I’m hoping that neutering my younger cat will keep him from being so excitable all the time.

Maybe this will be an excuse for me to just take my dolls out and stare at them and play with them all the time to make up for their inconvenience. Hopefully.

~Anonymous

[artstennisracket]

Camp Evergreen

Art Donaldson x Patrick Zweig

Ch 1: Move-In

May 2006

Ever since they were 12 Patrick and Art have been attached at the hip. Anywhere Patrick was, Art was right behind. It was a little strange seeing as neither of them had friends they were this close to before but maybe that’s just what happens when you share a room with someone.

At first it was little things, like Patrick asking if they could sit together at lunch and be hitting partners during practice. Then it escalated to switching their class schedules around to make sure they always had the same classes together.

Patrick also had a thing for physical touch. It was almost as if he had no concept of personal space, at least that’s how Art saw it. There was always a part of Patrick that seemed to be touching him, not that Art was necessarily complaining. Though it did take Art a while to warm up to. Art’s parents were very endearing and loving but touching wasn’t big in his family. He can’t remember the last time he hugged his parents. But he can remember the last time he hugged Patrick. It wasn’t really a hug though it was more of Patrick having his arms around Art’s waist and his head on Art’s shoulder after a particularly exhausting practice. That’s basically a hug.

Either way Patrick is always invading Art’s personal space bubble by playing his hair, putting his arm around Art’s shoulder, or laying his legs in Art’s lap. Their physical touchiness definitely escalated after they decided (Patrick insisted) they pushed their beds together in 9th grade. They went from waking up tangled up together and being apologetic about it “ Sorry man, I must’ve moved in my sleep” to “Can I be the big spoon tonight?” A natural progression of course.

So naturally spending summers apart was actual hell. Neither of them would admit it but sleeping alone was hard. They had created their new normal so readjusting to their old normal every summer was hard. Until Patrick came up with genius of idea of getting a summer job together. The only problem was they didn’t live in the same town, so how could they be together every waking moment this summer?

“We could be camp counselors together!” Patrick exclaimed sitting up in their pushed together beds.

“That’s actually not the worst idea you’ve had” Art said from their shared bathroom. He had left the door open after coming out the shower to let the steam out. He has his towel around his waist as he attempts to fix his hair.

“I have great ideas all the time, like the time I set you up with uh what was her name ag-“

“Stacy. And that was a terrible idea, she didn’t want me she wanted you. She was looking over at you the entire time she was talking to me” Art rolled his eyes continuing to fidget with his hair.

“Whatever, you love my ideas” Patrick says as he starts looking for camp counselor jobs at sleep away camps.

Art walks out of the bathroom, towel hanging low on his hips, “Should I get a haircut?”

Patrick looks over to him smirk on his face, “No don’t do that, what’re the girls gonna pull on when you go down on them?” Patrick eyes are glued to Art. He looks good. He’s definitely no longer the shy scrawny 12 year old he met 6 years ago.

Art rolls his eyes and scoffs, “Why do I even bother asking you questions and expecting an actual answer.” He walks over to his closet to start getting dressed.

“Don’t cut it, it’s cute like that I like your curls.” Patrick says with all seriousness but Art could still hear the smirk in his voice.

After Art gets dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt that may actually be Patrick’s, he grabs his laptop and joins Patrick on their pushed together beds. Art sits in the bed leaving about a foot of space between them but he knew it wouldn’t be long before Patrick closed that gap. After Art opens his laptop to join Patrick in his camp counselor job search, Patrick moves to throw his legs over Art’s.

“What about Camp Adventure?” Patrick asks.

“You mean the all girls camp upstate? How do you expect us to land that job?” Art retorts.

Patrick makes an oh face, continuing his search. “Oh I didn’t see that. What about Camp Evergreen? Tennis is one of the activities the campers do there, we could emphasize that experience on our resume.”

Art looks up Camp Evergreen and it seems to tick all the boxes. Sleepaway camp? Check. Hiring camp counselors? Check. Co-ed? Check.

Satisfied Art nods, “This actually might work, I’ll work on my application.”

A smirk reappearing in Patrick’s face,” I told you I always have good ideas.”

Art just rolls his eyes and continues to work on his application.

~

Move-in Day

Monday 11:00am

Camp Evergreen was located in Catskills, NY. It was a massive twenty acre property not too far from the Catskills mountains.

There were two sides for lodging, the girls side and the boys side. Both sides had around twenty-five cabins that house up to 6 campers. There were an extra 5 cabins on each side that were designated for counselors. Counselor cabins had the same capacity to house up to six people but usually only two counselors had a share a cabin together.

With girls and boys lodging being on opposite ends of the camp, most of the activities, dining hall, and locker ok, were situated in the center. There was a massive outdoor olympic sized swimming pool, four tennis courts, two basketball courts, and a baseball field. Other activities were spread out to other areas of camp like archery and even an indoor rollerskating rink. There was also a lake that held an outdoor water playground complete with massive floating obstacles kids could play on.

Before the kids moved in, all counselors were required to move in a week early to do their orientation, training, and get their grade assignments.

Patrick and Art were currently with the rest of counselors getting a tour of the camp grounds from the camp director. Patrick had kept his arm around Art’s shoulder as they walked.

Patrick leaned closer to Art’s ear and whispered gesturing over to a small desire path that led into the dense forest surrounding them “Do you think we could smoke over there?”

“Shhh, I’m trying to pay attention, at least one of us needs to know how to get around” Art responds without missing a beat. He was focused on the tour because unlike Patrick he was an actually a little nervous and wanted to be good at his job. Kids can be kind of judgy and he doesn’t want to give them a reason to question his authority.

The director was started to finish up his up this tour, “And if you look to the left you’ll see the the arts and crafts building where you’ll have the take the campers every other day, but you guys will get your schedules inside the auditorium”.

All the counselors filed into the auditorium to find that there were name tags on each seat with a counselors name attached. It seemed to be organized by cabin so Art and Patrick’s seats were next to each other. They had requested to room together.

They sit down and find their camp schedules and grade assignments. The campers ages ranged from seven all the way to 16.

Art was assigned to 5th grade boys. “5th graders can’t be that scary right?” He asked while staring down at his roster.

Patrick could sense Art’s nervousness. He checked his roster, 8th grade boys cool. “Don’t stress your gonna be a great counselor and their all gonna love you. What are you nervous about anyway?”

How did Patrick even know he was nervous? Better question is why does he ever doubt how well Patrick can read him. “I’m not nervous…I’ve just never had to be responsible for a group of children before, what if something goes wrong? What if they don’t listen?”

Patrick puts his arm around the back of Art’s chair and turned to look at him. “They’re kids, things are gonna go wrong and some of them aren’t gonna listen you just gotta adapt. But seriously don’t stress, they’re not even here yet.”

Art nodded and tried to compartmentalize Patrick’s words. He’s right they are kids things are bond to go wrong. As long as no one got hurt everything would be okay.

Patrick moves his hand to play with the curls at the nape of Art’s neck, “Besides this is gonna be a fun summer, no parents, no class, and we’re here together let’s just have fun.”

Art nods again. Right, a super fun, zero-drama, action-packed summer.

~

Move-in day (Campers)

A week later…

Monday 6:30am

Art woke up on his side of the bed (Patrick had already pushed their beds together from the first day the moved in last week) at 6:30 to turn off his alarm. Today was move in day for the campers so he wanted time to get ready.

He took out what he wanted to wear that day. They had been given 3 camp shirts that day “Counselor” on the back. The 3 shirts were red, white, and green respectively, all with different variations of the camp logo on them. He picked out the white shirt and some black nike shorts. He was going to shower but decided it’d be better to shower at night once the day had ended. He moved to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Once he got to the step of fixing of his hair he heard Patrick stirring awake.

Art checked his phone. 7:00am. “Time to get up Patrick,” Art continued fixing his hair, hoping Patrick would start getting ready because move in started at 8:00am.

Patrick hummed in acknowledgment into his pillow. He took a few extra minutes of sleep before he got up. “Too early” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

“Better get used to it. Camp starts at 9am everyday. Aren’t you excited for the first day?” Art says walking away from the sink going to lean on the door frame of the bathroom looking over at Patrick who’s sitting up in their bed.

Patrick looks back at him smirk creeping up on his face. “You should wear the red shirt, it brings out your eyes more.”

Art arched one eyebrow up in question, “Since when do you care about what brings out my eyes?”

Patrick smirk was still stuck on his face but something flashed behind his eyes that Art couldn’t read. “You have pretty eyes. Is it a crime that I want everyone else to see how pretty you are- I mean your eyes are? You’ll charm all the parents and they’ll love you.”

Art scrunched his eyebrows. There was a faint blush creeping up on his cheeks and a feeling in his stomach he couldn’t quite place. “Now I know you’re still tired because of all the nonsense you’re saying.”

Patrick rolls his eyes letting out a soft chuckle before heading past Art and into their bathroom.

Art walks over to his side of the room putting his shoes on, “I’m gonna head out I’ll see you when you finish”

Patrick makes a sound of acknowledgment as he brushes his teeth.

Art heads out the door of their cabin, but not before changing into the red camp shirt.

…

Monday 7:30am

Art thinks he may have to expand his horizons and actually make some new friends, maybe some of the more experienced counselors? Not that anyone could ever replace his best friend but it’d be nice to learn from someone who’s done this job before.

He walks over to where some of the counselors are gathered in a little huddle to join them.

“I’m telling you, if Jordan and Ryan are bunk mates again I think that might actually be my last straw” One girl states while the other counselors laugh in response.

Okay this could be a good time to interject with out it being a super awkward. 12 year old Art would never imagine trying to intervene himself into a group conversation with people he doesn’t know. Meanwhile Patrick has always seemed to conduct any room he walked into and make friends with every person he meets. Maybe Patrick has rubbed off on him a little.

“Who are Jordan and Ryan?” Art asks, hoping he was loud enough to be heard. Repeating his question would make him die of embarrassment on the spot.

The group turns their heads to glance over at him. Two girls subconsciously move in order to make space for him to join their circle. Art does a small nod of appreciation, then looks over to the girl who had made the original comment about Jordan and Ryan. She has curly red hair past her shoulders and copious amounts of freckles scattered across her face.

“They’re just two boys in the 8th grade group who do the absolute worst pranks. If they bunk together they’ll have even more time to scheme which is worse for us.” She responds with a half smile on her face.

“Oh my gosh yes, last year they put crickets in all the girls cabins. I couldn’t sleep without hearing chirping for weeks” The girl standing next to Art chimes in. She has short blonde hair and hazel eyes.

“I remember that, the camp director tried to blame the guys counselors. How are we supposed to keep track of anyone 24/7? Especially after curfew.” A guy standing across from Art adds in. He has short brown hair and brown eyes.

“What’s your name? I don’t think we’ve seen you here before.” The red hair girl asks.

“I’m Art, and ya I’m new to this, new to being a camp counselor at all actually but me and my friend Patrick thought it’d be a fun to do together.” Art says.

“Nice to meet you Art! I’m Olivia, and this is Justin, Taylor, Sam, Ally and Kyle.” Olivia responds, introducing the rest of the group. She points to each person as she does so. Art has now identified the blonde hair girl as Sam and the brown hair guy as Justin.

“Where’s your friend? Patrick you said his name was?” A girl with very long black hair braided into two pigtails asks. Art thinks Olivia said her name was Ally? He’s not good at remembering names.

Art gestures in the direction of his cabin, “He’s not a morning person but he should be here soon. How long have you guys been camo counselors?”

The group nods in understanding. Mornings aren’t for everyone. “This is my third summer but most of us have done at least one summer before.” A guy with dirty blonde hair responds. Taylor his name was.

Art nods and makes a mental note to ask Taylor more about being a counselor and any advice/ words of wisdom he may need.

“What group did you get?” The last guy asks. He has tight curls and his hair is cut low, Kyle was his name.

Art looks down at the paper roster in his hand. The other counselors were carrying theirs too. It was going to be useful during move in. “I got 5th grade boys, is that bad?”

There’s a mixed reaction from the group but Olivia speaks up first, “Honestly they’re not tooooo bad. They’re not super young where they’re incapable of following instructions but they’re not older to the point where they don’t respect authority. It’s a good group to have.”

That calmed Art’s nerves down a little but he also tried to remember Patrick’s words from yesterday. There’s nothing for Art to be stressed about…yet.

“But I think it’s getting closer to move-in time we should head to our tables, it was nice meeting you again Art!” Olivia says checking the time on her smart watch. For move-in there were tables of counselors stationed in front of a group of cabins and a roster to keep track of who’s moved in.

The group slowly starts to disperse while others chime saying different variations of ‘Nice to meet you.’

…

Monday 8:50am

So Patrick may or may not of went back to sleep so when he woke up and saw the time he was scrambling. Patrick had just thrown on the closest clothes he could find because of course he was running late. Patrick was notoriously late and Art was always 15 minutes early because “On time is late Patrick” Art would always say. And Patrick would say his lateness had improved since meeting Art but he’s not perfect. Art is perfect. He knows Art doesn’t think he is but Patrick thinks so.

It took Patrick a really long time to figure out why he was so drawn to Art in the first place. He’s never had a friend like Art before. As time went on and they grew older and went through puberty, Art would be stressing about girls while Patrick was having a full-on sexual awakening. Patrick never had much trouble with girls, it came naturally him. His charisma was easily one of his best traits. But not so long after he realized that he also liked boys. More specifically he liked Art. From the way Art’s hair got extra curly when he grew it out, his striking blue eyes that Patrick could stare at for days on end, to the way that after being friends for so long that Patrick could read Art so easily, Patrick loved everything about Art.

It took a minute but by the time they were 16 Patrick knew he was in love with Art, but he’d never say it because he knew Art didn’t feel the same. He doesn’t want to lose Art, that would break him. So for now he’s just going to shove those feeling deep deep deep down.

He picks up some white athletic shorts and puts those on with the white camp shirt. He has no idea whose shorts these are but it doesn’t matter. He messes with his hair a little and eventually gives up, throwing his sneakers on, grabbing his roster and running out the front door.

…

Monday 9:15am

By the time Patrick makes it to his table assignment for move-in, another counselor was already there. Every table has at least two counselors assigned to them to assist with move in.

Patrick takes a seat next to this guy with dirty blonde hair and freckles. “Hey how’s it going, I’m Patrick”

The counselor sitting next to him turns to make eye contact a small smirk on his face, “Ahhh okay so your the infamous Patrick. I’m Taylor”

Patrick scrunches his eyebrows, “What do you mean?” He huffs letting out a light chuckle, he doesn’t think he’s ever met this person before? But he wasn’t the best with names.

“We met Art earlier and he mentioned you’d probably be late to move-in. Luckily it hasn’t been too busy yet only a few campers have moved in so far” Taylor responds.

Patrick nods in acknowledgment smirk forming on his face, “Oh okay, ya I am Patrick and yes I am usually late but in my defense Art is always early.”

“He seems like that type. But he didn’t mention much about where you guys from?” Taylor questions.

What does Taylor know about the type of person Art ‘seems’ like? Patrick stopped his line of thinking before he became weirdly defensive. Of course he would go to bat for Art on any occasion but just because Art is blind to Patrick’s feelings doesn’t mean others would be so Patrick needs to tone it down.

Patrick’s smirk has faded a little, “Um we’ve been bunkmates since we were 12. We go to a tennis boarding school, Mark Rebellato Tennis Academy.”

“Oh nice so you guys must be super close then. What made you guys wanna do this this summer?” Taylor continues with his questions.

Obviously Patrick isn’t gonna say ‘Well actually I have a hard time sleeping on my own and spending every waking moment with Art is the only way I know how to function’. So instead he ops to say “Ya he’s easily my best friend we spend most of our time together so we thought it could be fun to spend a summer together too.”

Taylor nods hesitantly, “Wow you guys are better than me for sure, I get sick of people too easily I’m much more of a loner . It’s cute tho that you guys are so close.”

“Well with Art it’s easy, he’s just really nice to be around and…ya” Patrick realizes he probably shouldn’t have said that, who says that platonically about their best friend? Or maybe people do. So he takes a deep breath and continues “I think also since we live together it’s inevitable but it’s not like we’re together 24/7 or anything.”

Taylor quirks his eyebrow with a small smirk on his face, “I’m not grilling you or anything you don’t have to prove anything to me, man”

Patrick nods as they continue casual conversation. More about why Taylor decided to be a counselor, how he loves his job and he’s been doing for a while. Patrick talks more about tennis and how him and Art has won the Junior U.S. Open for Doubles.

…

Monday 12:30pm

Art doesn’t see Patrick properly until all the way at lunch time. He met all his campers after move-in and they played some ice breakers. After that he followed the schedule provided to him by the camp. So they had Arts and Crafts first, then tennis, and then some time at the water playground before lunchtime. It was nice that each section had a designated instructor and the water based activities had lifeguards.

Art’s main role as a counselor was just to supervise the campers. Except when it came to the sports areas, so for basketball, baseball, and tennis he would have to be the instructor for those but he didn’t mind. The tennis courts were actually right next to the outdoor swimming pool so he did actually get a quick glimpse of Patrick there.

While Art was teaching his campers some tennis basics, Patrick was with his campers at the outdoor pool. They were mostly just playing around while Patrick watched from the sidelines. Eventually his campers pressured him enough to jump in with them. Art watched meticulously as Patrick pulled his shirt off. It wasn’t long after that that Patrick jumped in the pool. Art returned his focus back to the task at hand, tennis.

Art had finally gotten to the point where his campers could start to volley with each other and he was quite impressed with how quickly they caught on. Their time on the tennis court would be wrapping up soon so they could move into the water playground. Art glanced back over to the pool to see Patrick getting out along with his campers. His curly hair was soaked and his body was glistening as the sun reflected off of him. Did he get tan? Art was always jealous when Patrick got tan because Art’s skin refused to tan, it only burned. Art continued to watch as Patrick toweled his body off. He always knew Patrick was naturally athletic but their time in the tennis academy with all that time spent training has definitely paid off. Art studied the curves of his abs and the way they clenched as Patrick laughed with campers about some joke they made. Patrick looked good. Art convinced himself that he can platonically think Patrick looks good, really good. Art was starting to feel hot but he blamed it on the sun.

“Artttttt what are you staring at?” One of his campers Jace asks.

Art snaps his head towards where the question is coming from. He can feel a blush rise to his cheeks, “Uh nothing, I was just, you know, looking in general, nothing specific, just looking you know…anyway let’s line up guys it’s time to go to the water playground!”

He’s hoping that since he was wearing sunglasses no one actually knew where he was looking.

Anyway, at lunch time the campers have designated tables separated by grade while the counselors can sit together however they please.

After grabbing lunch, Patrick finds Art sitting with a red haired girl and sits with them.

“So how’s the first day going so far? and I don’t think we’ve met yet, I’m Olivia” She says.

Patrick nods finishing up his bite of pizza. “I’m Patrick, where’d you find her at Art?” He takes another bite of pizza, a smirk gracing his face.

Art rolls his eyes. “We met at move-in which you would know if you were ever on time to anything in your life. Art goes to take a sip of his drink.

“It’s not my fault you kept me up all night babe.” Patrick winks before going back to scarfing down his now second slice of pizza.

Art sighs, “If anyone kept anyone up it was you with your god awful snoring.” He turns to Olivia, “Do you think if I roll my eyes hard enough they’ll fall out of my head?”

Olivia chuckles, “You guys fight like an old married couple it’s hilarious. I thought you guys lived together before this?”

“We have but maybe I should picked a new bunkmate that doesn’t snore.” Art says pointed in Patrick’s direction.

Patrick uses a napkin to clean his hands since he’s done eating, “You want a new cuddle buddy? I’m devastated.” He acts fake hurt holding his hands over his heart.

“Back to your original question, day one was good my campers are nice for the most part, I thought 5th grade boys would be more difficult. They do make me feel old though, what the hell is a “skibidi toilet”?” Art questions.

Olivia and Patrick look at each other and bust out laughing.

“What? What am I missing?” Art questions again.

Olivia’s laughter dies down as she responds, “It’s a stupid meme about a toilet don’t worry about it. How was your day Patrick?”

“Honestly the boys are cool. I didn’t realize that I’d get along with 8th graders that well.” Patrick says leaning back in his seat.

“Considering you’re intellectually on the same level with them I’d say that makes sense,” Art retorts. “What about you Olivia? How’s 6th grade girls going?”

“Same old same old. They’re past the stage where they enjoy getting dirty during outdoor activity so that can be difficult but they’re right at the stage where they love to gossip and are soooo boy crazy” Olivia responds taking another bite of her sandwich. “Actually I heard alot of them talking about Patrick…”

Patrick laughs, “That’s very flattering but they’re all actual children.”

Olivia pats Art on his shoulder, “I heard some of them talking about you too. Having a crush on a counselor is like a right of passage if summer camp”

Art laughs, “I can’t say I remember ever having a crush on my camp counselor.”

Patrick looks over to Art, just examining him. He can definitely recall having a crush on a camp counselor.

…

Monday 8:30pm

The rest of the day went off without a hitch. Both Art and Patrick got through the rest of their day following their camp schedules and seeing each other in passing. Even though they weren’t together it was nice just knowing the other one was there. Art would never admit it but he may or may not have sneakily took a picture of Patrick’s schedule so he’d know which activities he was at. It’s not like he was going to stalk Patrick or anything but it was nice being able to glance over to where he was. Watching Patrick subconsciously weirdly soothed him? Like just knowing Patrick was there would help when he would get anxious about being a good camp counselor and actually do his job right. But he’s sure with time the anxiety will go away as he adjusts.

It was lights out time meaning all campers should be at least in the cabins by now. Meaning all counselors were also to report to their cabin. Olivia had mentioned that the counselors usually sneak out past curfew and hang out, smoke, and even drink together. She said they’d be hanging out in her cabin tonight around 9pm.

Back at their cabin, Art and Patrick had started getting ready. Art was fussing with his hair in the mirror like always, while Patrick was changing shirts.

“You always mess with your hair, you know it looks fine the way it is.” Patrick says as he picks up the white button shirt he’s going to put on.

“Just fine isn’t okay, I want it to look nice, I want to be presentable.” Art replies continue his fussing.

Patrick drops the shirt he was holding and walks over to Art who’s standing in front of the bathroom mirror. “Look at me.” Patrick directs while putting his hand on Art’s cheek to make Art face him.

Art looks into Patrick’s eyes, a little started. He watches as Patrick starts fiddling with his hair, moving some curls into place. He looks very focused from Art’s point of view. Patrick is also shirtless which is starting make Art blush for some reason. He doesn’t know why, he’s literally seen Patrick naked so what’s the fuss about? It reminds him of when he was staring at Patrick earlier that day at the pool. He looked really good, and Art was just…observing.

Patrick finishes up and turns Art’s face back towards the mirror. “There, better?”

Art nods. It really does look better, he doesn’t know how Patrick did it but he’s grateful he did. Art also realized how much he was actually blush-

“Aweeee did I make you blush, babe?” Patrick smirks as he walks back over to where he left his shirt.

Art shakes his head no but for some reason he’s blushing more? “No I am not, let’s just go”

~

[loveandpeaceanddoughnuts]

a fluffy Eruri Oneshot in which Erwin and Levi decide to dress up as each other for Halloween

They both get Hange’s help, who finds it hilarious but doesn’t breathe a word to the other person as they help Erwin raid the cleaning supply closet and Levi draw on thick eyebrows.

Erwin and Levi stand in front of their mirrors, fighting grins as they slant their hair into choppy bangs and part it in a deep swoop, respectively.

Hange is hosting a dinner for Halloween night, and they sit beside Moblit eagerly awaiting the chaos. The two men arrive at the same time and freeze when they catch sight of each other, staring in shocked silence. While Erwin seems to be holding back a smile, Levi is scowling.

Levi’s eyes narrow as he takes in the Commander’s cravat (tied wrong, he thinks) and the mop slung over his shoulder. “And who exactly are you supposed to be?”

Erwin shrugs with the mop over his shoulder. “I could ask you the same thing.” He eyes Levi’s slicked down hair, thick eyebrows, and the too-broad scout jacket falling to his waist. “It seems we had the same idea.”

Levi crossed his arms, the first hint of a smirk on his lips. “I don’t know what you mean, soldier. Bold of you to talk back to your Commander.”

Erwin’s eyebrows disappeared into his bangs. “Oh is that how you want to play this?” He tugged a handkerchief up over his mouth and nose and dropped his voice to a dramatic rasp. “Don’t bother me with your bullshit, Commander, I’ve got things to clean.”

Levi crossed his arms and stood on his toes, trying his best to look down on Erwin. “Well I’m busy wasting our budget. Looks like you’ll have to go to yet another fundraiser, Levi.”

“Only if I can complain the entire time. And if we spend all the money we raise on tea and sponges.”

Levi scoffed. “I’m going to go make a super secret plan and not tell anyone about it.”

Erwin smiled. “I’m going to somehow anticipate exactly what you have in mind and execute it perfectly.”

Back at the table, Hange and Moblit followed the escalating exchange like a tennis match. Levi flushed, thrown off by the compliment.

“Well I don’t have any hair on my chest because it all went to my eyebrows!”

Hange couldn’t help from muttering “I bet you’d like to know”, and Moblit snorted into his glass.

“I glare at everybody with my piercing, stormy eyes!”

“Well I have eyes like a perfect spring day!” Levi stepped closer, sending a glare up at Erwin much like the one he’d been accused of.

Spots of color appeared on Erwin’s cheeks, and it was his turn to falter. “I… I make fighting look easy! It’s like I can fly in ODM gear.”

“Well I make the fighting worth it!” The two men were chest to chest now, or as much as they could be with the height difference, and tension crackled in the narrow space between them.

Hange downed the rest of their wine in one gulp and slammed it back down on the table. “Damn it, just kiss already!” Moblit immediately sunk down in his chair, hiding from the incredulous looks the two men shot their way.

Hange didn’t back down. “You know you want to!”

Levi and Erwin spoke at the same time, in their own voices.

“Shut up, four eyes!”

“Yes, I do.”

Levi snapped his gaze back to Erwin. “You…do?” He clenched his jaw, for once unsteady on his feet. “This better not be some shitty joke.”

Erwin’s laugh was soft and tender, a little vulnerable. “I wouldn’t do that, Levi.”

The smaller man reached up and ran his fingers over Erwin’s cravat. “You didn’t even tie this right. Least you could’ve done,” he grumbled.

“Hm? Oh-!!” Before Erwin could protest that he’d done his best, Levi yanked him down by the fabric and crashed his lips against his.

Luckily for Hange, Levi couldn’t hear their gleeful whistle over the blood rushing in his ears. He was kissing Erwin. And then, somehow, miraculously, Erwin was kissing him back.

[littlemissaddict]

Simply Meant To Be - Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

So I started this before Christmas while watching The Nightmare Before Christmas and had planned to have this up New Years Eve but as usual I'm late. This is such a self indulgent fic and there is no real plot to it other than me wanting my own Sally/Jack moment but this is the only way I'm going to get it so I hope you guys enjoy it just as much.

Word Count: 2621

She'd begun to wish she'd never even brought up the idea of the stupid New Years Eve party. Normally Eddie was all for them knowing he'd make a bit of extra cash in his dealings that would mean he wouldn't have to ask Wayne for the cash just to be able to fill his gas tank, which Wayne was more than happy to do, it was just Eddie hated asking as he knew he struggled to get by as it was.

"I just don't understand why someone is throwing a fancy dress party in December, it's not fucking Halloween" he ranted, not taking his eyes off the joint he was rolling although she wasn't sure if it was really the party bothering him or the fact she suggested they go as Jack and Sally. Which had been slightly selfish on her part as she hoped to have her own 'Simply meant to be' moment like the one at the end of the movie but that was just wishful thinking going on Eddie's reaction.

She sighed knowing it wasn't going to happen, "tis fine Eds you don't have to come, I'll just tag along with Steve and Robin" she told him, accepting defeat and trying to change the subject as they were supposed to be hanging out and a grumpy Eddie was no fun.

“So you're still going ahead with this then?” Robin asked.

It was the night of the party and Robin had come to hers to get ready, then Steve would be picking them up at 7. It had been a couple of days later when Robin had asked if she was still going that she spilled about the incident with Eddie and his outburst at her suggestion.

“It's the only costume I have, seeing as I presumed Eddie would at least pretend to be as excited about this as me, seeing as he knows it's my favourite movie” she told Robin, and while it wasn't a lie that she'd only bought this costume even though she'd had plenty of time since his rejection to get another one, part of her hoped that he would come around to the idea.

“You could always join me and Steve” Robin offered her a small smile, “You can never have too many Men In Black” she added, hoping to lift her mood.

She stared at the dress hung up on her closet door, the beautiful patchwork that was Sally's dress and made up her mind. “Thanks for the offer but this is what I want, even in spite of Eddie” she smiled, resolution clear in her tone as she made for her make up set on the dressing table. Robin watched as she turned herself into the character, forgoing the blue skin as they had left it too late to start getting ready and the both knew Steve would get impatient about having to wait for them.

“Looking good, ladies”

It was about half an hour later when the sound of Steve’s voice from her bedroom door startled them both, thankfully they were both suitably dressed and he hadn’t walked in on either one of them changing as she doesn’t think either of the three of them could have dealt with the outcome of that.

“Your mom let me in” he shrugs in explanation to his sudden appearance as they both glare at him for the scare he just gave them, wandering into the room and peering around as if it was the first time he’d been there. It wasn’t. “Oh come on, don’t look at me like that, we're going to a party it’s supposed to be fun” he says exaggeratedly, acknowledging the looks the two of them were sharing between themselves. “There'll be no grumps tonight or I ain’t taking either of you” he adds, causing her to scoff and mumble to herself.

“Yeah that’s why Eddie’s not here” she repeats a little louder this time at Steve’s request as both he and Robin missed her the first time.

“Yeah, yeah I heard all about ‘Mr I’m Too Good For Fancy Dress’ now let’s get going” he urges, pulling out his sunglasses and putting them on even though there was no possible way he could see with them on.

“I’m gonna walk if you plan on driving in those” Robin threatens as they follow him down the stairs.

Her mother calls to them as they reach the hallway, making for the door, telling them to have a good time but to be safe. She also reminds Steve of her curfew, making it his responsibility to have her home on time and Steve, being Steve, can’t refuse her not for fear of making it into her bad books. The scene in front of them has her and Robin holding back laughter as Steve reassures her that he'll have you home on time and not a minute later.

“Kiss ass” Robin says between bursts of laughter as soon as the car doors shut behind the three of them and she can't help but join in.

Steve spits out protests to the statement, his face beet red as she leans across from the back seat to rest a gentle hand on his shoulder, “Don't worry Steve, you can do no wrong in her eyes, hell she'd probably even let you get away with murder” she jokes, unable to resist the urge to tease him a little bit more and this time he realises what they're doing, brushing off their laughter at his expense and starting the car. “I'm serious though Steve, I swear my mom loves you more than me sometimes, you know after the first time you and Robin came around she asked me if we were dating” she revealed.

“I'm taking that this was before you and Eddie got together” Robin asks, interrupting her.

“Obviously, you know how much she adores him though” she smiles, they'd all seen the way her mom would fuss over Eddie whenever he came around, the same way she fussed over Steve, “she was so disappointed by the fact that you weren't going to be her possible future son in law, even tried to talk me into dating you and that was only after the first meeting” she adds, it was the first time she'd told either of them this, not that she’s purposely kept it a secret there just never seemed a reason to bring it up until now.

“You know there's still time to make me her future son in law” he smiles, catching her eye and winking at her in the rear view mirror.

She laughs in response, knowing that he was joking but Robin groans in protest as if thinking he was being serious. “God no, please don’t” she whines turning to face her in the back seat, “I love you both and I want you to be happy but I don’t wanna be a constant third wheel” she adds, a very serious look on her face.

“Chill out will you, I’m already taken and Steve doesn’t like me like that” she reminds her over dramatic friend as Steve agrees with her from the front. Robin sighs in relief as they pull up outside the house she assumes is their destination if the music booming from inside is anything to go by.

They make their way inside to an already crowded house and head straight to the kitchen to get a drink. Steve sticks with a soda as he’s the designated driver, since he’s the only one out of the three of them that actually has a licence, while Robin grabs two solo cups and fills them with the first thing she finds.

She takes the cup from Robin and hesitantly takes a sip, spluttering at what tastes like neat vodka. “Jeez Rob, did you actually put any mixer in this?” she asks, looking at the drink cluttered counter tops for coke, lemonade or anything to add to the alcohol.

With drinks in hand they made their way into the thick of the party, losing track of time and of how many drinks they’d had until half past eleven when the music was suddenly halted so that they could all be warned of the time. “C’mon let’s head outside, don't want to miss the fireworks” Robin urged tugging on her hand and weaving through the crowd towards the back door.

She cast a glance at Steve who merely shook his head, having had enough of their drunken antics even though she’d had nowhere near as much to drink as Robin and was only a little tipsy, yet he still followed them out to the back yard. They were the only ones out there, except a few stragglers who were either having a smoke or just escaping from the madness inside.

“You sure you want to wait another half an hour out here, it’s a little chilly” she asked, already feeling the goosebumps prickling along her skin and making her shiver after mere minutes in the cold December air.

“Sure as sure can be” Robin nodded vigorously, a little too excitedly as she unexpectedly reached out to grab her arms to steady herself and would have tipped the both of them over if Steve’s quick reactions hadn’t kept them on their feet.

“I’m gonna go get you some water just stay here” he told her with a shake of his head as he disappeared inside, leaving her with Robin who for some reason could not seem to keep still all of a sudden and she had no idea why.

The excitable jitters didn’t seem to stop once Steve was back with the water and she began to wonder if it was a way of keeping warm and she was tempted to join her until she felt the warmth of a jacket being wrapped around her shoulders. Turning she was met with Steve’s kind smile as she realised that it was his jacket, “M’not going to let you freeze out here just cause she’s too excited for the fireworks” he chuckled, nodding towards Robin who seemed to be in a world of her own as she scanned the backyard as if looking for someone though again she had no idea why until a figure walked into view from around the side of the house. A figure she’d recognise anywear, dressed in all black with wild curls.

Eddie.

As he came closer she could see what looked like white chalk marks running in stripes down his jeans and leather jacket, a jacket which underneath sported a white t-shirt and on his face the familiar markings of Jack Skellington. She couldn’t believe it, he decided to come albeit very late but he’d still shown in a matching costume for her.

Slipping Steve’s jacket from her shoulders, she thanked him again even if she’d only worn it for a short period of time as she made her way towards Eddie. As she came to a stop in front of him, he reached for her hands and started speaking before she had a chance and although it took her a minute to realise what he was doing when she did it had tears of joy filling her eyes that he was doing this for her.

“My dear friend, if you don’t mind,

I’d like to join you by your side,

Where we can gaze into the stars

And sit together, now and forever,

For it is plain to see,

We’re simply meant to be”

She joined him at the end, it was silly and sappy but god it was perfect. “I’m sorry I upset you, I didn’t realise how much you wanted to do this and if I did, I wouldn’t have hesitated to come” he told her afterwards.

“It’s okay Eddie I-” she was going to tell him that she forgave him but then it hit her, she hadn’t told him that he’d upset her with his dismissal of the party, “how’d you know?” she asked, interrupting herself.

“Robin, she called me this afternoon and called me allsorts or names, telling me that I owed you this after all you do for me coming to shows at the shitty bar, sitting through hellfire meetings and putting up with me when I fuck up just like I did with this” he explained and she cast a glance over her shoulder to where she’d left Steve and Robin and now her strange behaviour of wanting to be outside and the jitters made sense, she was on the look out for Eddie making sure he kept to the promise he made her. “And I would have been here earlier but I tried to get a costume but nowhere had one in stock so I had to improvise with this shitty excuse” he added.

She shook her head at him, “I love your attempt” she told him, her hands squeezing his hands from where they were still clasped together.

Her words seemed to put him at ease as he carried on, “and then I felt like I had to make it up to you so I rented the film and watched it, that’s when the idea came to me so I watched the end scene on repeat until I knew it word for word just so I could surprise you with it” he carried on with his explanation, pausing to take a breath, “I love you sweetheart and I’m so very sorry I’ll spend the whole night grovelling at your feet if it’ll make up for my fuck up” he promised, making her laugh.

“I’m sure that’d be very entertaining but you don’t have to” she assured him, “in fact I’d never thought I’d get this in my wildest dreams so thank you for making one of my dreams come true” she chuckles and they both know she’s referring to his little sing song.

“If you stay the night maybe I can make a few more come true” he suggests, a pout on his lips but a mischievous glint shimmering in his eyes that has her shaking her head at him but the smile is irremovable from her face.

There’s more the both want to say but it’ll have to wait as the countdown begins from inside the house, growing louder as everyone makes their way into the garden, “Happy New Year sweetheart” Eddie smiles as the first firework lights up the sky.

“Happy New Year Eddie” she replies, leaning in to fulfil the well known new years tradition and kissing him.

“Okay lovebirds, I’m happy that you're good again but we’ve got a curfew to keep” Steve’s voice breaks them apart as Eddie’s stares blankly at him while she can’t help but laugh.

“Oh Steve, she was kidding, she’s not expecting me home because we were supposed to be spending the night at yours” she reminds him as Eddie joins in the laughter as he realises what was going on, “only there’s been a slight change of plans, I’m staying at Eddie’s” she tells him.

“You’ll have to stop by for your overnight bag” Steve relents, remembering that you and Robin dropped your bags off the day before to save time now that he’s sure your mom won’t kill him for having you home late.

“Don’t worry about it man, she won’t need it” Eddie winks as Robin fake gags at his words.

“Ok didn’t need that mental image” Steve grimaces as he catches on to what Eddie is implying, “I’ll see you guys later then I guess” he finishes and she nods as she and Eddie say their goodbyes before heading to his van and then his trailer which they have all to themselves for the rest of the night.

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 167

warnings: a little long and nsfw hmh masterlist

Today has been frustrating to say the least. John has been talking a lot more about Helen lately, and usually it doesn’t bother you but lately it has been. Her birthday is coming up soon, so you’re sure it’s just that which is causing him to talk about her so much. You don’t mind hearing stories about her since, at the end of the day, John is married to you and the two of you have a child together, but there’s only so many Helen stories you can hear before you start to feel a little jealous in a way.

John had told you about three different stories in the past two days, and you tried to gently tell him that you’re a little sick of the stories, but Ronan threw up everywhere and ruined the moment. Babies, right? You ended up getting so frustrated with John’s stories that you’ve been pretty much ignoring him all day. If you do talk to him, you’re usually pretty short with him, and he’s obviously picked up on it that something is wrong with you since he’s keeping his distance.

Or maybe he just doesn’t care.

Ronan is at your parents’ house for the night, so you’re hoping that you can get a little dressed up and try to take John’s mind off of Helen and put his focus back onto you. You dropped Ronan off, then you went to the mall and grabbed a few new pieces of lingerie in hopes that John will finally give you a little more attention.

Again you’re aware that John is married to you and that Helen isn’t…coming back to steal him, but it sucks that his mind has been so preoccupied with Helen lately. Your marriage is starting to suffer a little bit, and now you’re even getting into little spats over nothing. You literally yelled at him over something that usually wouldn’t annoy you at all.

Inhaling deeply, you get out of the car and head inside to hear John talking on the phone. You left your bag in the car since you knew John would be around the house, so you just walk into the kitchen and see him at the kitchen table.

John looks over his shoulder at you and waves, then he turns back around, “Yeah, man, sounds good. Alright, bye.”

You set your purse on the table and look at John as he gets up, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, Aurelio asked if I wanted to go play some pool tonight, so I said yes.” he says as he opens the fridge to get something to eat.

“Oh,” you slouch a little, “Okay.”

John looks at you and raises his eyebrows, “Is that okay, or…”

“You don’t need my permission.” you say as you look at him, then you shrug, “Have fun then.”

“Well, what are you going to do tonight?”

You inhale as you shrug, “Uh, I don’t know. There’s a lot that I can do. I need to go through Ro’s closet and pack away her clothes that don’t fit. I need to do some laundry. I mean, I’d hang out with Tess, but they’re up at the lake house with Jimmy’s family for the week.”

John nods, “Yeah, I thought about that.”

“I’ll find something. There’s plenty I can do around the house. I do have a new book that I’ve wanted to read, so…” you say, putting a fake smile on your face.

Nodding his head, John looks down at his bottle of water, “Uh, do you think you’ll manage the dogs tonight? I might not be back in time to take them for a walk. Sadie can be a handful.”

“Yeah, of course. I was thinking about taking them to the Oyster Bay dog park.” you say as you shrug, and John nods his head. “I don’t have anything else planned, so…”

“I better go shower. Aurelio is going to pick me up. He’s got a new car he wants to show me.” John says, and you nod as you look up him.

John leans down and kisses your cheek before he leaves, and you slouch a little since you’re going to be spending the night alone. There are several things that you need to get done around the house, but they won’t take more than an hour. Maybe you can surprise John when he gets home though.

“Well, I might as well get started on laundry.” you say to yourself, then you head upstairs to your bedroom as John shuffles though his drawers. You take the laundry basket and set it aside before you head into the bathroom to grab any dirty towels and clothes, then you come back out to find John looking at you.

“So, are you just going to continue to pretend you’re not mad at me?” John asks, and you look at him. He gestures to you and shakes his head, “I know you’re mad at me.”

You wave it off, “It’s nothing.”

“It’s something. You’ve been giving me the cold shoulder all day.” he says, and you shrug as you walk over to the laundry basket. “Tell me now before I leave.”

You furrow your brow as you look at him, “You--”

“Not leave,” he says, shaking his head, “But I mean before I leave in a bit.”

“Nah, it’s all good.” you say, and John huffs as you look at him, “God, fine. I just thought we’d hang out tonight. Since you know, it’s been a few nights since we’ve been alone, but I get it. You have friends too.”

John shrugs, “I haven’t hung out with Aurelio in a while. Thought it’d be fun.”

“Hey,” you reach out for his hand and smile, “It’s all good.”

Obviously it hurts your feelings that John doesn’t realize that you’re hurt that he’s been talking about Helen so much and not really spending time with you, but you’ll let it go for now. You’d hate to upset him before he goes out for some fun. You had an ex who did that to you all the time and it’s not fair--you refuse to do the same to John.

Squeezing his arm a little, you smile at him, then you grab the laundry basket and head down to do the laundry, but John calls out for you.

“I know you’re mad at me.” he says, and you shrug. “Can we talk about it later?”

“Of course.” you nod, then you head downstairs.

__

Bleu and Sadie had so much fun at the dog park and they tired themselves out, so you dropped them off at home before you decided to take a long drive. You got yourself a greasy cheeseburger, some fries and a chocolate shake, then you drove around aimlessly for about two hours just listening to music. You have to admit that it was nice to have an evening to just yourself. You needed it more than you even realized, and you’re feeling a little bit better than you did earlier. That is until you look down at your phone to see that you don’t have any texts from John.

John’s been gone for about five hours now, and usually he’ll just text you a simple little message, even just a heart emoji to let you know that he’s thinking about you. Today you’ve gotten nothing. Either he’s ignoring you now or he’s having a lot of fun.

You pull into the driveway and open the garage to put your car in, then you sigh as you get out of the car. You’re greeted by Bleu and Sadie as you walk inside, and you lean down to pet them before you let them into the backyard for a bit.

Whenever your mom has Ronan, you always call her before she goes down for the night, so you sit down on the couch and pull your phone out, pressing it to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” you sigh softly, “How is Ro?”

Your mom laughs, “She’s good, like she always is. She’s laying in Dan’s arms right now getting her bottle before she goes down. She’s been an angel today! We went for a nice walk this afternoon and played with some bubbles, then she had some steamed chicken for lunch.”

“Oh, she’s a big fan of chicken.”

“She gets it from her mom,” your mom says, and you smile a little. “Ro, say goodnight to your momma and daddy.”

The smile fades from your face when you realize your mom thinks John is with you. You hear Ronan babbling on the other end of the phone, and you smile to yourself.

“Goodnight, baby!” you say to her even though she probably can’t hear you, then you sigh as you sit back on the couch.

“No goodnight from dad?”

You inhale deeply and sigh, “Uh, no, he’s out with Aurelio tonight. They went to play pool or something.”

“I bet that’s been nice to just have a day to yourself.”

“Yeah, it’s been alright.” you shrug, then you get up and head to your bedroom. “I’m probably gonna crash early since Ro is with you and John is out.”

Your mom laughs, “Nothing wrong with that, honey. Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Give Ro a kiss for me and her dad. Love you.” you say, then you sit down on the bed and look down at your phone as you hang up with your mom. You look over at the drawer where you have the lingerie tucked in, then you get up and grab it before you head to the bathroom.

__

Fixing the lace on the garter belt, you look at yourself in the mirror and smile, then you poke your head out to the bedroom when you hear the front door open. You quickly fluff your hair up and fix your makeup a little, then you peek around the corner as John walks in and sits down on the bed.

“Hey,” you say, and he barely glances over his shoulder, “How was your night?”

“Pretty good. We played a couple rounds of pool, a few of darts, and I unfortunately had too many drinks since I feel a little tipsy.” he says, keeping his back to you as he pulls his shirt off and kicks his shoes off. “It was a good thing I didn’t drive.”

You lean against the wall seductively since you’re expecting John to turn around and see you, but he just lays back to pull his pants off. He groans as he sits back up and tosses his pants carelessly onto the floor, and you slouch a little.

Walking over to the bed, you crawl onto it and kiss John’s back up to his neck in hopes that it’ll get him in the mood. He looks over his shoulder at you and smiles softly as you move to kiss his neck, then he leans back a little to look at what you’re wearing. You move closer to him as you kiss his face and move your hand to his crotch, but he pulls your hand off of him.

“We need to talk.”

“We don’t need to talk it out right now,” you whisper as you move closer to him, “We can just…work our way through it first.”

John gently takes your hands and pulls them off his chest, “Not tonight, baby.”

You hold his gaze for a moment as you grow sad and embarrassed, tears filling your eyes, then you pull on your robe that you left on the bed. You kick off your heels and pull your robe shut as your chin wobbles, and you grab your pajamas from your drawer before you grab your pillow and phone.

“I’m sleeping downstairs.”

John sighs, “You don’t have to sleep downstairs. It’s fine, peach.”

“No,” you look down to avoid his gaze since you’re so damn embarrassed, “I want to sleep alone tonight.”

Holding tight to your pillow, you head down to the guest bedroom, then you close the door and lock it since you know John will probably try to come talk it out at some point, and you’re so embarrassed that you don’t even want to see him right now.

You pull off the lingerie like it’s infected and leave it on the en suite bathroom floor, then you pull on your pajama shorts and shirt before you crawl into the bed and pull the blankets over your head as you cry.

__

It’s Thursday, which means John works the morning until about noon, then the two of you would usually go and get Ronan. You’re planning on getting her and dropping her off with John for the rest of the day. You’ve successfully avoided John before he left for work--not that it was really that hard. You just don’t want to even see him right now, and apparently he’s fine with it since he hasn’t tried to talk to you.

Looking into your mirror, you see that your eyes are a little swollen and bloodshot from crying so much last night, but you put on a brave face and head in to get Ronan. You open the door and smile when you hear Ronan squealing and babbling, and you wave at her as you walk into the living room.

“Hi, bug!” you smile, leaning down to get her, and as soon as she’s in your arms, you begin to cry softly. You sniffle as you lean back to look at her, and you smile when she tugs your hair, “I missed you!”

“She’s been so good,” your mom says, then she looks over to the door in confusion, “Jonathan isn’t with you?”

You hold her gaze as you shake your head and start to cry, and she immediately reaches out and pulls you to the couch. She holds you in her arms as you cry, calming you down and telling you that everything is okay, and you cling to Ronan a little tighter.

“I don’t know what’s going on. I know this is just normal marriage stuff, but I never thought John and I would be affected by it.” you whisper as you sit up, “We just haven’t been ourselves lately.”

Your mom nods, “Maybe you two need some time alone to talk things through.”

“I really need Tess right now,” you say, and your mom nods. “It’s just…a little awkward talking about sex with you, mom.”

Your mom laughs softly, “Okay, I’m sure.”

“Is it okay if I just leave Ronan with you for the rest of the day? I can get her tonight before dinner.”

“Of course!” your mom smiles as she rubs your back, “If John shows up…”

You nod, “He can take her. I’m sure he’ll be confused to not see her when he gets home or whatever. I don’t really know what he’s thinking lately.”

“That’s new.”

“It is!” you laugh as you set Ronan back down on the floor so she can play with her toys, “In all honesty, I just don’t really want to see him right now. Not while my emotions are so intense. I just…”

Your mom wraps her arm around you and rubs your back as you cry, “It’s okay.”

You sigh as you look over at her, “He’s been talking about Helen a lot more lately. It just hurts my feelings. Usually I don’t care, but him talking about her all the time and then not really giving the usual amount of affection is just weird. I just feel like there’s a disconnect and I’m not sure if it was intentional.”

“I can promise that it’s no intentional, honey.” she smiles as you look at her, and you inhale deeply when you realize John has talked to her. “I promise you. Just go home and talk to him.”

Nodding your head, you look down at your wedding ring as you sniffle, then you inhale deeply and exhale as you get up to hug and kiss Ronan, “I love you, bug. I’ll be back to get you later.”

You wave at your mom as you walk over to grab your purse, and she gives you two thumbs up as you laugh.

__

Sitting at the table as you flip through a magazine, you hear the door open and the dogs both get up to greet John. You clear your throat a little as you sit at the table and wait for John to find you, but there’s a part of you that feels like maybe he doesn’t care that you’re even home.

“Hey,” John walks in the kitchen and furrows his brow a little, “Where’s the bug?”

“Uh, at my mom’s still. I’m gonna get her later.”

John looks at you for a moment, then he nods his head and looks down, “Uh, I have a book I need to get done by tomorrow, so I just really need to focus on that. It’s just that there’s a deadline and I haven’t been focused so much on it lately, so…”

“Okay.” you bite your cheek as you look at him, then you slouch when he leaves the room.

You’ll just have to talk to him later.

__

Since John was still downstairs working on his book, you decided to just sleep in the guest bedroom again. You haven’t talked to him at all, and you even called to ask if Ronan could stay the night again. Your mom took it as a good sign, though it really wasn’t.

You sit up in bed as your stomach growls and look over to see it’s nearly 2 in the morning. You stretch a little, then you get up and quietly open the door to find John laying back against the wall as he sleeps. You smile to yourself as you look at him, then you kneel down and gently brush your thumb over his cheek.

“John,” you whisper to him, then you smile when he opens his eyes, “Go up to bed. Go to bed. You can’t be comfortable here.”

“You locked the door.” he says softly as you nod, then he sits up a little, “I can’t do this anymore.”

You look down as you tear up, “I know. Me neither.”

John reaches over to touch your cheek, “That doesn’t mean what I think it means, does it?”

“Well, what did you mean?”

“I miss my wife.” he whispers, then he rubs his thumb over your cheek and down to your bottom lip, “I miss my best friend.”

Tears roll down your cheeks as you sit down on the floor, then you look at him and nod, “I miss mine too.”

“I promise that we can talk through everything in the morning, but for now, can I just hold my wife?” John asks, and you nod your head. He gets up and reaches for your hands, then he helps you stand up.

Holding hands with John, you head up to your bedroom with him and smile to yourself, feeling your hand in his for the first time in what seems like weeks. You crawl into bed and lay down on your side only to realize you left your pillow down in the guest bedroom. John lays down on the bed and moves his pillow over to share with you, then he smiles when you get under the blankets with him.

John gently rubs his thumb over your cheek as you look at him, “I love you.”

“Do you?” you ask as you tear up again.

“I do.” he nods, then he pulls you closer until you’re inches from his face, “I will never stop loving you. It’s a promise.”

You nod your head as you look at him, “We’ll talk in the morning?”

“Of course.” he whispers, then he leans forward to kiss you. He pulls you closer as he lays on his back, then he holds you in his arms, “I love you more than anything.”

“I love you too.”

__

You feel John pressing kisses to your face and neck as you lay in bed, and you slowly open your eyes and smile when you see him next to you. You inhale deeply and roll onto your side, and you’re a little taken aback when he leans over and kisses you. He slips his tongue into your mouth as he crawls on top of you, and you laugh when he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he smiles, then he sits up to look at you, “Missed that laugh.”

“We still need to talk, so don’t start getting all lovey-dovey. I’m not sure you’re going to love me after this conversation.” you say as you tuck his hair away from his face.

John gives you a blank stare, then he shakes his head, “You could tell me that you hate my guts and wished I was dead, and I’d still love you.”

“You know I’d never say that though, and I definitely don’t hate you or wish you were dead.”

“Well, I would hope not.” he says, and you both start to laugh.

Taking a deep breath, you sit up in bed and cross your legs before you look down at your hands and spin your wedding ring. John sits up next to you and wraps his right arm around your waist, then he presses a soft kiss to your shoulder.

“I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“I hurt yours the other night…” John whispers to you, and you look over at him, your cheeks growing warm and red when you remember how embarrassed you were, “You could kill me and I’d think it was justified because I hurt you.”

You bite your cheek as you look at him, then you look down and frown, “I know that Helen’s birthday is coming up, and you know that I usually don’t mind hearing stories about her, but lately it’s just been one story after another. You haven’t been giving me the same amount of affection as usual, and I just thought…maybe you weren’t all in with me anymore. Like the novelty of me wore off or something. Like…like you were just over me and you were ready to move on to the next.”

John moves your hair away from your face and nods when you look at him, giving you more time to get out everything that you need to say.

“Lately it has been painfully obvious who you wish was still here with you.” you whisper as John’s eyes grow sad. “You swapped out kissing me for telling me stories about the time you and Helen went to Fiji. You stopped holding my hand and replaced it when the story about the time you and Helen took a roadtrip. You stopped having sex with me, showing me affection, giving me even just an ounce of your love, and I noticed that I’m not the main focus anymore. I’ve completely been replaced by a ghost from your past. And…unfortunately, between you and me, if I can’t be your main focus anymore, then…”

“Stop!” John shakes his head as he looks away, then he looks back at you with tears in his eyes, “So, you want a divorce?”

“So, you’re admitting that I’m not your main focus anymore? Your dead wife is?” you get off the bed and laugh as you grab out something to wear, “It’s funny how you promised me that I was always going to be your main focus. You always reassured me that it was me who you cared about most. And yeah, if you can’t see what you have in front of you and you’re going to continue to live in the past, then yes, I want a divorce! I’m not going to feel inferior in my relationship again. I did it before and I refuse to do it again. I deserve to be put first. I deserve to be someone’s main focus.”

John gently touches your arm and shakes his head, “She’s not my main focus--you are! You’re my main focus. You and Ronan are everything to me, you know this! I know you know this!”

“Then why can’t you stop talking about Helen?”

“Because I want her to see how happy I am and I’m sad that she’s missing out on it.” he says, and you shake your head as you walk away. “Baby, I promise that you’re the only one I want. I need you. I need you more than I’ve never needed someone before. I can’t function without you!”

You look over at him and shrug, “I don’t believe you anymore.”

“What can I do to make you believe me?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe stop talking about your dead wife all the time.” you say, and John immediately nods his head. You groan as you close your eyes, “I’m hearing the way I’m talking, and I hate it. I hate that I’ve gotten to this point--being jealous over her, but I can’t keep pushing aside my feelings just to protect you. I used to push aside my feelings for other people and I refuse to do that now.”

“And I don’t want you to. I want you to tell me how you’re feeling.” John says as he walks over to you, reaching out for your hands. “I want you to be honest with me. We’ve always been honest with each other about things, we’ve always talked things through. It’s always worked for us. Why change that now? Come here. Please.”

You walk with John back over to the bed, and you sigh loudly as you sit down with him, “I’m scared that we can’t come back from this.”

“Yes, we can.” John whispers, rubbing his thumb over your cheek, “You found guns in the basement and we came back from that. We got into a huge fight about that pregnancy test, and we came back from that. We can come back from this. We can come back from anything.”

Wiping away the tears on your face, you look down as you cry harder, “I’m scared you don’t love me as much anymore, like all the love you had for me in the beginning has dried up and you don’t have any more.”

“Listen to me,” John tilts your chin up and smiles at you, “It’s because I love you so damn much that I’ve been talking about Helen. I know it doesn’t sound like it makes sense, but just hear me out.”

You laugh tearfully, “You better make it make sense, Wick.”

John takes a deep breath and exhales as he holds your hand, “I think there’s still this part of me that feels a little guilty. I’m married to this amazing, beautiful, smart, kind, everything-under-the-sun-that-is-wonderful woman, and we have a beautiful daughter together. We live this amazing life with each other, and every day is an absolute dream. So, I think there’s this part of me that feels guilty because I feel like I’m truly giving my all to you, and I didn’t do that with Helen--she didn’t even know my past. I’m so sorry that I’ve been talking about her so much, and I’m so sorry that I’ve made you feel like you’re not important to me. I promise to you that you are my best friend and the only person I can see myself with. You’re the love of my life, and I’m so fucking sorry that I haven’t made you feel as important as you are. You have given me so much: a great marriage, our sweet bug, an amazing fucking life. I owe everything to you. I am so sorry for how I’ve treated you.”

You reach over to hug John as you cry, then you bury your face in the crook of his neck as he holds you. He pulls you closer until you’re almost in his lap, and he clings to you like his life depends on it.

“And the implication that you’re just some novelty or trophy wife hurts.” he whispers into your hair, “You’re everything, Y/N. Everything to me. I don’t want you to ever think that there’s a time limit on my love for you. It’s never going to go away or wear off. If anything, my love for you gets deeper every day.”

You nod, “I know.”

“I love you so much, baby.” John says, then he leans back and cups your face, “And I’m sorry for embarrassing you the other night.”

You immediately look down as your cheeks turn red, then you sit back and shrug, “It’s okay.”

“I want you to know that I thought you looked fucking amazing.” he smiles as you look at him, and you shrug again. “I just…didn’t want you to think that I was not in the mood to talk but I wanted to have sex, you know? I didn’t want you to think I was using you or anything.”

“But I was the one initiating the sex…”

John nods, “I know, but I just didn’t want you to think I was just using you to have sex and that I was going to go back to just treating you like shit.”

You shrug as you look over at him, “I just wanted to know if you still found me attractive.”

“Oh, trust me, I do!” John laughs as you start to smile, “And I definitely realized that we haven’t had time alone, and I’m suffering.”

Looking up at John, you hold his gaze as you smile softly, then you look down and exhale, “I still feel a little stupid.”

“I’m sure,” John nods, then he tilts your chin up, “But it’s nothing compared to how I feel. I’ve treated the one person who loves me endlessly like shit. I’m embarrassed and shocked--shocked that you didn’t pack a bag and leave me.”

“I wasn’t going to leave you, John. I just wanted us to get back to the way we were.”

John reaches over for your hand and kisses the back of it, “And we will. I promise that I’ll work harder than ever to prove that to you.”

“I believe you.” you whisper as you hold his gaze, then you gesture to the bathroom, “I better shower. I need to get Ro soon.”

“Can I come with? When you pick up bug?”

You nod as you get up from the bed, “Of course, John.”

John sighs as he looks up at you, then he reaches out for your hand, “I really am so sorry.”

“I know,” you nod, then you squeeze his hand, “I love you.”

“I love you more.” he whispers, then he lets go of your hand as you walk into the bathroom.

__

Ronan was so excited to see her daddy when you picked her up earlier, and she’s been clinging to him all night. You’ve been clinging to him too, well, more like he’s been clinging to you! He’s been giving you an explosion of affection but you’re not complaining about it at all. He’s definitely not doing that toxic love bomb thing though--John is always affectionate.

“Dada!” Ronan squeals loudly as John pushes her stroller, and you lean down to look at her. She reaches out to touch your face as she giggles, and you playfully chew on her fingers.

Holding tight to John’s arm, you walk with him up the driveway and smile when he leans over to kiss your head.

“I need to finish that book tonight, but I think I’ll be able to finish it quickly. Probably within 45 minutes.” John says, and you reach down to get Ronan out of her stroller, “Then I thought we could watch a movie.”

“Sounds good.”

John smiles as he folds up Ronan’s stroller and rests it against the wall when he gets inside, then he turns to you, “I do wanna come with and say goodnight to my favorite bug.”

You hold Ronan in your arms as you walk up to her room with John behind you, then you set her down while you grab out her pajamas and the lotion she needs for her skin so she doesn’t get too dry at night. She has a fan that she’s been sleeping with to keep her cool at night, but sometimes it dries out her skin.

“Why are you getting so big, huh?” John says as he sits down to change Ronan’s diaper, and you turn around and smile as he tickles her tummy. Ronan laughs as John blows raspberries on her tummy, then she puts her hands on John’s face when John lifts her up and kisses her. “Our baby is growing up so fast.”

You frown as you sit down on the floor next to him, “I know. I can’t believe how big she’s getting.”

“Time is flying,” he whispers, watching as Ronan walks over to get a toy, “I feel like I’ve been saying that since the day you got pregnant. Makes me sad how fast it’s going by.”

You nod as you look over at him, “But it really hasn’t been that long. Seems like it, but it hasn’t.”

“True,” John smiles as Ronan walks over to him with a toy, and he smiles wide and playfully grabs her and makes a loud chomping noise on her stomach as she squeals with laughter.

John is the best dad ever, and Ronan is always laughing non-stop when he’s around. He’s always playing with her on the floor and encouraging her, and you’re so happy that she has such a great dad.

“Okay, okay, let’s not get too crazy.” you laugh as you stand up, “We’re trying to get her to sleep, remember?”

John laughs as he gets up from the floor, then he reaches down for Ronan and cradles her in his arms. He bounces her a little and smiles at her as she sucks her thumb, and you walk over to get a better look at her sweet face. Ronan looks over at you and reaches out for your face and she smiles when you playfully nibble on her fingers. You watch Ronan’s eyes growing heavy with sleep, and before you know it, she’s out.

“Babies,” you laugh as John leans down so you can kiss her, “I wish I could fall asleep that fast.”

John chuckles, “Give you a few cocktails and you do fall asleep that fast.”

“Yeah, true.”

“Goodnight, bug.” John whispers as he kisses Ronan’s cheek, then he lays her down while you turn on her nightlight and fan. He reaches for your hand and walks with you out of the bedroom, then he pats Bleu’s side as he trots in to stand guard all night. “Okay, I’m gonna head downstairs to finish up the book real quick, then I promise you have my undivided attention all night.”

You wrap your arms around John’s neck and lean up to kiss him, “Okay.”

“I promise that I am going to make up for the other night.” he whispers against your lips, and you nod your head. “I’ll be back up soon.”

You kiss John once more than you watch as he quickly heads down to the basement. You know that John will most likely take 30 minutes to get everything done, but you honestly want to join him. He doesn’t mind you hanging out with him while he works but he usually gets distracted by you since he always offers to let you help. Tonight you want to distract him in a different way.

Taking a deep breath, you head into your bedroom and open your drawer to get out the lingerie that you tried to wear for John, and you stare down at it.

“You can do this.” you whisper to yourself to get yourself hyped up, then you exhale shakily as you run a marquee of bad thoughts through your head.

What if John doesn’t like it? What if he doesn’t want to have sex with you right now? What if he gets mad at you for distracting him?

“Stop,” you whisper, silencing the thoughts clouding your head, then you stand up and look at yourself in the mirror, “He loves you, he thinks you’re sexy. He’ll love this.”

You head into the bathroom to get changed into the lingerie, and you grab out your make up bag to touch of your makeup that you’re already wearing. You exhale shakily as you stand in the bathroom and continue to get yourself a pep talk in your head, then you begin to undress.

__

Standing in front of the mirror, you turn to the side a little and smile as you check yourself out, then you fix the bra straps a little more. You look really good, and if John doesn’t think so, he’s out of his mind. You grab your robe off the hook and put it on, then you decide to forget the shoes since John will immediately turn around when he hears you’re wearing heels.

“Okay, you can do this. Who knows? This could be the best sex of your life…” you whisper to yourself as you walk down to the living room. You place your hand on the door handle as you try to calm yourself down, then you open the door and head downstairs.

John still has his back to you when you get to the bottom of the stairs, and you walk up behind him and lean against his back. He glances over his shoulder at you, then he leans back a little to kiss you.

“Bored upstairs?”

“Yeah, a little bit.” you say, then you wrap your arms around his waist, “Thought I’d come join you.”

John chuckles, “Well, you might be just as bored.”

You let go of John to pull off your robe, then you toss it on the couch behind you. Your hands shake as you stand there for a moment since you don’t know what to do, then you tap John’s shoulder and watch as he looks over his shoulder. He furrows his brow a little and spins around in his chair to get a better look at you, and his mouth instantly drops open as he stares at you.

“Do I look okay?”

John lets out a laugh in disbelief, then he grabs you and kisses you hard on the lips as he lifts you into his lap. He tosses the tool he was using over his shoulder as he kisses your neck, and you laugh when it rolls off the table and onto the floor.

“Should we go upstairs?” you ask as John continues to kiss your neck.

“No,” he shakes his head and sets you down, then he walks over to the sleeper sofa and pulls out the bed with little to no effort that makes the ache between your legs throb, “I’m taking you here. I can’t wait any longer.”

You shrug as you look at him, “Probably a good idea considering I think I might a little too loud.”

“No such thing.”

You smile as you watch John getting the bed all set up, and you laugh when he walks back over and grabs you to pull you into his arms. John carefully lays you down on the bed as you smile at him, then he crawls up to you and leaves kisses along your body. He tugs the garter belt that you’re wearing as you let out a small laugh, and you lean up to look at him as he gazes at you.

“So beautiful,” he whispers, pecking you before he gives your body more attention, “You look so fucking hot, baby.”

John continues to kiss all over your stomach and thighs, and you smile when he spreads your legs apart and gently rubs you over your underwear. You whimper softly as he slides his hand into your panties, then you prop yourself up on your elbows as you look down at him.

“You make me so wet, John.” you whisper as he smiles at you, then you lay back down so he can pull your underwear off. John loves a garter belt and stockings duo, so of course he doesn’t dare touch those. You close your eyes and bite your bottom lip when you feel John’s tongue sliding between your legs, and you arch your back and moan loudly when he sucks on your clit, “Oh, shit!”

John sucks on his finger before he slides it into your pussy, and you grip the mattress as he pumps his finger in and out slowly. He crawls up to you as he continues to finger you, and you grab him to pull him down to your lips.

“Fuck me,” you whisper to him as you frantically unbuckle his belt, and you smile when John lets out a small laugh, “What? I want you!”

“I want you too.” he whispers as he kneels on the bed to pull his shirt off, then he quickly kicks his pants and boxers off before he lays back down on top of you, “I always want you. Always.”

You wrap one arm around his neck and place your other hand on his cheek as he lays down on top and gets himself situated. You hold his gaze as he leans closer to your face, his lips brushing against yours and his breath hot against your skin, and you moan softly as he slips between your legs. John lets out a small breath as he pushes himself in deeper, then he swallows hard and shudders when he moves as far in as he can get. He says something about the feeling but it gets caught in his throat, so you’re not sure exactly what it was. You’ll take it as a compliment.

John slowly begins to thrust his hips as he holds your gaze, then he leans down to kiss you before he continues looking at you, “God, you’re so beautiful. I love you so much.”

“I love you,” you whisper to him as he smiles at you, “I love you more than anything.”

Digging your nails into John’s biceps, you arch your back and moan loudly as pleasure courses through your body, electrifying every nerve. The sound of John between your legs grows louder as you become wetter, and you cling to him as he picks up speed.

“Does that feel good?” he croons in your ear, and you whimper loudly, nodding your head, “You want me deeper?”

“Oh, fuck!” you scream loudly as John sits up to get a better angle, and you reach down and rub circles on your clit as John watches. He pats your thigh a little to get you to roll over, then he holds your hips as you kneel on the bed and wait for him to slide back between your legs.

John’s right hand slides up your back to your neck as he slowly pumps his hips, then he helps you sit up to lean against his chest. You look down as John pulls your bra off and tosses it to the floor, then you close your eyes and smile when John caresses your breasts and sucks on your neck. He immediately begins to fondle your breast with the piercing, and you let out a small laugh.

“Fuck, yes…” John whispers as he thrusts his hips, and you feel his hand sliding between your legs. You lean your hands on the back of the sofa as John grips your hips tighter and pounds into you, then you smile when he leans down to kiss your cheek. “My girl. My favorite person on this planet. Fuck, I love how you feel.”

You whimper as you lean back more to kiss John, then you squeeze your eyes shut and feel John’s breath against your neck as you both moan loudly. John jerks his hips harder one last time, then he lays down and smiles when you crawl on top of him. He holds your waist as you slide down every inch of him, and you place your hands on his chest as you roll your hips.

“You feel…” you shiver as your teeth begin to chatter, then you grip John’s chest harder, “You feel so…good! I need you to fuck me harder!”

John bends his knees and wraps his arms around you so you’ll lay against his chest, then he kisses you as he thrusts his hips. You cling to John as you let out a loud string of moans, then you grip his bicep as you nearly scream his name.

“Oh, shit! Oh, fuck, John! John!” you scream into the crook of his neck, then your body begins to jolt as you come.

John’s hips begin to move faster as he brings on his orgasm, and you cling to him even tighter since he’s losing his rhythm. He holds tight to you as he jerks his hips one last time to fill you up, then he frantically moves your hair out of your face to kiss you.

“Oh, god!” you moan loudly as John holds tight to you and rolls you onto the bed, then he kisses down to your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth. “Mm…”

“You…are so good.” John whispers, and you open your eyes to finally look at him, “So good, baby. I love you more than anything in this world, and I can promise that that will never change. You are the only person I want, the only person who I think of. You are a constant thought in my mind. No one else. Just my favorite girl.”

You reach up to touch John’s cheek, then you nod your head when he wipes away the tear slowly sliding down your cheek, “I love you so much, John. I just don’t want to lose you.”

“You are never losing me. I am with you until our last days.” he whispers, then he gently kisses you, “You’re the love of my life. The absolute love of my life, and that will never change.”

You sit up and pull your knees close to your chest to cover your breasts since you always feel a little self-conscious after you and John are intimate, then you look at him and tilt your head a little as you try to unscramble your thoughts.

“I’m sorry for being so blunt about Helen,” you whisper as John reaches over for your hand.

“Don’t be,” he shakes his head and moves closer, “Sometimes it’s okay to be blunt, especially when your husband is being clueless.”

You shake your head, “I don’t want you to think I’m still here always worrying about your love for me, or thinking that you’re still in love with Helen. Helen hasn’t been a subject of conversation for…a long time, then all of the sudden every story is about her. I know her birthday is soon…”

John nods as he sits up, then he looks over at you still covering yourself up. He lets out a small laugh, then he reaches over for his t-shirt, offering it to you. He grabs his boxers from the floor and pulls them on, then he smiles when you pull your hair away from your face.

He used to never be this comfortable around you. When you first started dating, he wouldn’t dare be completely naked in front of you. Obviously he was naked when you’d have sex, but after he’d usually put a blanket over his waist. Not anymore. Nope. He’ll just lay right there in front of you, completely naked. You certainly don’t mind. John is very well endowed, so you definitely don’t mind when he wants to…let it all hang out. He’s confident and it’s sexy.

“You know you don’t need to cover up around me.” he says, and you chuckle as you nod. “Why do you do that?”

“Just self-conscious, I guess.” you shrug, looking at him, “I’ve always been like that after sex though.”

Probably has something to do with your ex. He’d love your body during sex but he was usually pretty critical of it afterwards. John has never been like that but sometimes it’s hard to let go of trauma and rewire your brain. John definitely makes you feel sexy though and you know he’d never say a bad thing about your body.

John nods, “I know. But you should never feel insecure around me. I love your body.”

A smile spreads across your face as John lightly brushes his fingers over the stretchmarks on your thighs that you always worry about, then he moves closer to kiss you.

“Your body is…” John whispers as you hold his gaze, “Incredible.”

You laugh loudly, then you shove John’s shoulder a little, “You’re full of shit.”

John shakes his head as he lounges out next to you, “Not at all, Mrs. Wick. You look great.”

“Thanks,” you smile and lean down to kiss him.

“I know that I’ve been talking about Helen more and like I said the other night, I just wish she could be here to see how happy I am.” John whispers, and your eyes soften when he looks down at your hand in his, “We have the life that Helen and I would have wanted; quiet, simple, relaxed. We also have this other life that you and I want which is just chaotic and loud and unpredictable.”

You laugh as you nod, “Well, that’s life with a baby.”

“And it’s great!” he smiles, then it slowly fades a little, “I just wish Helen could see how happy you and Ronan make me. It’s all so confusing to me, so I’m sure it is for you as well.”

“No, I get it.” you nod when he looks at you, “It’s a great life, why wouldn’t you want her to see that?”

John nods, “Helen wasn’t just my wife, she was my friend. She was my only friend. I didn’t have Jimmy and Aurelio then.”

You reach over and cup his face when his chin wobbles a little, “I know.”

“She’d be happy for me.” he says, and you scoot closer to him, “I know there was a part of Helen that knew I wanted a family. I didn’t even know it until I met you, but maybe it was always there. She just figured it out before me. Having a family was something that she couldn’t give me. Only you could give me all of this.”

You smile tenderly when John looks up at you, and you lean over to kiss him a few times as he rubs his thumb over your cheek. You hold his gaze for a moment, then you look down at his hand on your thigh.

“She would be so happy to know that I’ve found my peace,” he says, and you look at him, remembering the words from Helen’s final card to John. “You’re my peace. In this chaotic world we live in, you give me peace. You calm me, you settle my brain and unscramble my mind. There is no one in this world that can give me that but you. I know this and you know this. You’re my soulmate.”

You sniffle as you look up at him, “I’m not asking you to never speak about her. I have never asked you to not speak about her or tell me stories about her. I’m well aware that you were married once before and you had a pretty good life with her, and believe it or not, I am so happy that you had that.”

John smiles softly, “I know you are.”

“I’m glad that you had her and had a beautiful life while it lasted.” you smile as you reach over to cup his face, “I’m glad you had someone to take care of you until I got here.”

“Me too,” he whispers, kissing the palm of your hand.

You sigh a little as you hold his gaze, “Maybe you want Helen to meet Ronan…”

John looks down and nods his head as he holds your hand, “I was thinking about asking you, but I wasn’t sure. I don’t want to cross any lines.”

“Maybe if she meets her…”

“I’ll stop talking about her,” he says, and you slouch and look down as you tear up, feeling guilty about being so upset. “Hey, hey, look at me.”

You look up at John as he tilts your chin up, “I feel bad now.”

“Don’t.” he shakes his head, “Don’t feel bad. I apologize for how I’ve made you feel, okay? I’m sorry.”

“I know,” you smile as you look at him, “And I am too.”

John smiles as he wraps his arms around you to hug you tight, and you melt in the warmth and security of his arms. You bury your face in the crook of his neck and inhale his cologne sticking to his skin, then you lean back and smile when he moves your hair out of your face.

“Why don’t we go out and see Helen tomorrow?” you say, and John nods his head. You get up from the bed and grab your lingerie that is thrown around the basement, then you smile at John as he grabs his jeans. “Sorry I distracted you from finishing your book.”

“It was a much welcomed distraction,” he whispers against your lips, then he stands back as you trade out his t-shirt for your robe since he’ll need to finish his work. He pulls his shirt back on and smiles as he sits down on the stool and pulls you between his legs, “I’ll be up in about 20 minutes.”

You wrap your arms around his neck and look into his eyes, “Okay.”

“I love you more than anything in this world. I want you to know that,” he whispers as you tear up, “You’re the only one for me.”

“I love you too.” you lean forward to kiss him, then you gesture to his book as you sniffle, “I’ll let you finish that.”

John pats your side as he smiles at you, “I’ll be up soon. Please don’t go up there and cry.”

“I wont,” you say, despite the fact that you’re tearing up. John tilts his head and gives you a look that makes you laugh, “I won’t! It’s just a little extra leftover tears from our conversation.”

“I mean it, peach,” he pulls you back to him, “If you’re still feeling upset, talk to me. I want to make sure you’re okay.”

You cup his face and hold his gaze, “I am. I promise. I’m okay.”

John looks into your eyes for a moment longer, then he kisses you gently, “Okay. Just keep checking in with me, okay? I don’t want you to feel upset or anything.”

“I know.”

He’s truly the best man. He really, really is.

A smile spreads across your face as you watch John turning back to finish his book, and you head upstairs to take a shower.

__

John stopped by the florist to get some flowers for Helen, and you laughed when he came out with a huge bouquet for you as well. You’re certainly not upset with him anymore, but it is nice that he has apologized and acknowledged that he was talking about Helen too much.

You would never ask him to stop talking about her since you know he’s not purposely doing it to hurt your feelings. He’s just happy in his life and he feels guilty that he’s so happy and living a great life. It’s a hard thing for even John to wrap his head around half the time, so he doesn’t expect you to fully understand, but you understand enough.

Leaning against the tree, you smile as you watch John kneel down in front of Helen’s tombstone as he holds Ronan. You’re too far from him to be able to hear what he’s saying, but you can see his mouth moving. He bounces Ronan in his arms a little and kisses her cheek, then he looks at the granite tombstone as you tiptoe closer.

“Best thing that has ever happened to me, Hel, I swear. Being a dad is…amazing. It’s better than anything I could have imagined.” he whispers, and you stand back a little, “I still don’t know how I got so lucky. I’ll never understand what I did to deserve them. First with Y/N and now with Ronan. Still don’t know if I even deserve them. I’m trying my best not to let them down, but I might have failed lately with Y/N, but I’m trying. I’m trying every day to be better because that’s what she deserves. She’s…so amazing.”

Ronan looks over John’s shoulder and waves at you, and you smile as you wave back at her. She reaches out for you and causes John to look over his shoulder, and you grimace.

“Sorry,” you point at Ronan, “I can take her.”

“Nah, come here.” he sits down in the grass and reaches for your hand.

You sit down next to John and take Ronan to set her in your lap, then you look at him, “When was the last time you were here?”

“When we came here and her sister showed up,” he says, and you scrunch your face a little as he laughs, “Yeah. Well, I just wanted Helen to meet Ro since this is the last time I’ll be coming out here.”

You furrow your brow and shake your head, “John, I--”

“I know. I know you’re not suggesting that,” he nods as he looks at you, then he smiles, “But I think Helen would understand. I can already hear her yelling at me and telling me to stop coming to visit her when I have you and this chunky bug at home.”

You look down at Ronan as John pinches her cheek, then you look up at him as he continues.

“I have such a great life with you, peach.” he whispers, then he shakes his head as he gestures to the tombstone, “I’d be upset too if the tables were turned, so don’t ever think you’re wrong for feeling the way you feel. It’s just you and I now.”

“Us and the bug.”

John chuckles, nodding his head, “Us and the bug. And I love it.”

“We love you.” you smile as you meet him halfway to kiss him.

“Let’s get out of here,” he says, groaning a little as he gets up. He reaches down to help you up, then he brushes away the grass on the back of your pants before reaching for your hand, “I think we deserve some ice cream.”

You chuckle softly, “I’m not trying to blame everything on it because it obviously wasn’t all me, but…I got my period this morning.”

John looks down at you and laughs, “Really?”

“Yeah…” you blush a little as you nod, then you look at him, “I know I was being a little…dramatic, but now it’s a little more obvious as to why. My periods since having Ro have been…rough, so to speak.”

“That’s okay,” John smiles as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, “I was mostly to blame though.”

You stop at the car and watch as John gets Ronan in her car seat, then you smile at him and wrap your arms around him tight. He smooths your hair away from your face with both his hands, then he cups your face and kisses you tenderly as your eyes roll shut. He wraps his arms around your waist and places his hands firmly on your ass, and you both start to laugh when he squeezes a handful a few times.

“So grateful for you, peach.” he whispers, and you tilt your head as you smile at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you peck him again, then you get in the car and watch as he looks over at Helen’s tombstone one last time, which causes you to tear up a little. You smile as John gets in the car and reaches for your hand, and you let out a small laugh when Ronan squeals loudly in the backseat. “Yeah, you tell him, Ro. Hurry up, dad!”

John leans up to look in the rearview mirror at Ronan, then he laughs, “Okay, okay! Let’s go get some ice cream!”

__

You wander around the house and look for any of Ronan’s toys that might have been snuck away by Sadie, who is notorious for stealing toys, and you smile when you walk past the office and see John looking at the computer screen.

“Hey, you…” John says just as you walk past, and you lean against the door frame and look at him, “What are you doing?”

“Well,” you take a deep breath and cross your arms, “Tess called me a little bit ago and told me to keep an eye on Ro’s toys since Sadie likes to chew on baby toys, so I am currently hunting any lost toys down.”

John chuckles, “Found any yet?”

“Nope,” you shake your head, then you walk in and look around the office, “Oh! Spoke too soon.”

You bend over and find a toy hidden under a pillow, then you hold it up and look at it. It’s not one of Ronan’s most played with toys, so you’re not too upset about it. You’re not upset with Sadie either; these things happen.

“Ro never plays with that anyway,” John says, and you nod as you toss it into the garbage can next to him. He turns in the chair a little and smiles, and you walk over to sit in his lap as he wraps his arm around you, “You smell good, like…vanilla.”

“It’s the perfume you bought me.” you smile, then you inhale deeply before you look at him, “Look, I know the conversation has moved on, we’re all good, it’s been hours, but…I don’t want you to not go see Helen anymore, and I know you’re probably thinking ‘she’s just going to be upset when I go’, but I won’t. I don’t want to take that away from you. Seeing the way you took one last look at her grave just broke my heart. I can’t take that from you.”

John rubs your back and shakes his head, “You’re not taking it from me. I’m choosing you. I’m choosing to put the past in the past.”

“But she has no family here,” you say as John wipes away the tear on your cheek, “She has no one here to tend to her grave or come out to give her flowers for her birthday. I can’t stand the thought of that. I’ve always tried my best to respect your relationship with Helen because I know if I ever say anything bad or negative about her, you’re gone. You’d leave.”

“I would not.” John says, seeming hurt by the accusation.

You look down at your hands and swallow hard, “Or you’d hold resentment towards me for it.”

“No. I know you,” John whispers, rubbing his thumb against your chin, “I know you better than I know myself, so I know you’d never say anything bad about Helen. You’re not that kind of person.”

“I would never say anything bad about her,” you say softly, and he nods as you inhale deeply, “I’m not saying we need to go have picnics out there for her birthday and every holiday, but...”

John smiles, “How about this? How about when I feel like going out there, I will?”

You hold his gaze for a moment, then you look down at your wedding ring, “Um…”

A small laugh escapes John’s lips as you look back up at him, “You think I’m going to go there all the time now, don’t you?”

“Well…” you look at him and laugh a little since he caught you.

“I’m not,” he shakes his head, then he sits back a little and looks at you, “I think this is where I should spend most of my time, and I like that. I like it here. Just the three of us.”

You nod, “I guess there’s this part of me that knows that if it were you that…passed, I would sleep on your grave.”

John chuckles, “Well, I’m flattered.”

“I am so desperately in love with you that I can’t imagine moving on and marrying someone else.”

“That’s good…” John nods, raising his brows, “Considering I’m alive and healthy.”

You playfully roll your eyes and shove his shoulder, “You know what I mean!”

“I do,” he nods as he holds your gaze, “And before I met you, I felt the same way. Who knows, maybe after I--”

“Oh, fuck no!” you get up from his lap and put your hand out, “We are definitely not going there. You’re living until you’re 160.”

John laughs as he reaches for your hand, “As long as you’re here with me, I am totally fine with that.”

Letting out a small sigh, you walk back over to him and stand between his legs as you cup his face, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he smiles, leaning up a little to kiss you, “I’m not going anywhere. You’re gonna be sick of me soon.”

“Impossible.” you whisper, then you kiss his forehead and smile at him as you lightly rub your thumb over his beard, “Popcorn and a movie?”

John gets up from the chair and nods his head, then he wraps his arms around you from behind and walks into the kitchen with you still tight in his grip. He buries his face in the crook of your neck as you get a bag of popcorn out to pop, and you laugh when he doesn’t let go.

“Not letting go?”

“Never,” he whispers, and you look over your shoulder at him and smile when he tightens his grip.

You close your eyes and wrap his arms around you more, then you lean back against his chest and feel the warmth he radiates soaking into your skin as you smile.

“Good.”

__

taglist:

@sakurachan-9 @beingnerdyissupercool @tnu-ree @ruby-octo @scream-queen-25 @ladyren33

[anexistingexistence]

First We Had Sam, And Now The Second Boy From My Top Three Is Getting Headcanons! I Present To You: Guy "definitely has a last name that isn't Montag" The Pizza Guy!

-Doesn't even like pizza all that much (the job making him smell it so often probably ruined his appetite a bit).

-He doesn't have a closet. Instead, he has his clothes sorted in different baskets because he can't be bothered to not just drop his folded laundry into a box once he's done folding it.

^But Honey has a closet and occasionally hangs Guy's important clothes into it alongside their stuff so it doesn't get as many wrinkles ("important clothes" as in work uniform and dress shirts and such).

-He has an entire drawer in the bathroom dedicated to nail polish.

^He's not allowed to wear it when Max's has him in the kitchen for hygiene reasons, but at any other time of the day, he has his nails done in some color he likes. He also has gotten a lot of compliments for them while out on delivery.

-Guy is a pretty good singer and he oftentimes sings Honey to sleep when they're too stressed out to fall asleep on their own.

-He knows how to play the bass guitar. He doesn't have one anymore because once he outgrew the one he had in high school, he never bought a new one, but if you handed him a bass, he definitely could play you some song he memorized some years ago.

-Guy can sleep in literally any position. He could fall asleep on the couch with his head hanging over the armrest and his mouth wide open and he'll wake up the next morning perfectly fine.

^That being said, he snores when he does that. Whenever he isn't sleeping in a position that is at least somewhat normal, he will start snoring. And yes, the loudness depends on how messed up his positioning is.

[Little music-themed extra: This playlist reminded me of Guy and Honey sitting on their old apartment's balcony and complaining about their old roommate as well as just general life things while drinking some weird tea/juice mix Honey came up with ^^]

[deliciouskeys]

@cozycornerkinktober’s prompt #2: Gloves

America’s Sweetheart (Homelander solo with a soupçon of Starlander)

Warnings: rated soft E or hard M. Cross-dressing elements.  HL pov and all that comes with that. Short. AO3 link.

Homelander can't understand a lot of things about Starlight. For someone who made her way into Vought’s top echelon of supes, she's still oddly attached to her unremarkable birth name (Maeve never insisted he call her Maggie, and The Deep and A-Train only use theirs for signing contracts). She was inexplicably dating a limp noodle of a man who was a mudperson. Homelander would have understood if it was someone with political clout or money, but Hugh had none of those things. And she periodically felt the need to speak out on camera about things that made everyone uncomfortable. In some ways, Homelander wonders if it was her infuriating behavior during rehearsals that inspired him into his own public tirade. Did she think she was the only one who could speak off the cuff?

Given all of these things, her rejection of the sexier improved uniform the Vought team attempted to update for her shouldn't surprise him. His new co-captain seems determined to wear that dowdy, prim little skirt-and-cape ensemble. Shoulder covered. No cleavage, no thigh high boots. He’s surprised she didn’t insist on a skirt that would cover her knees and go with a full Amish bonnet instead of a headband.

When he intrudes into her room to discuss his vision for the finale of Vought’s Next Top Superhero, he paces around idly, stopping in front of her closet and scanning through it. He’s pleased to discover that she never bothered to return her uniforms. Six identical outfits Vought manufactured for her that she snobbily rejected after a brief run were still hanging up, side by side, in the back of her closet. 

“Why won’t you wear this version?” he asks as he shoves the door open and pulls out the uniform that also has accessories on the hanger.

“Because it’s uncomfortable and obscene,” she says brusquely.

“What’s obscene is you wearing jeans and a t-shirt while you’re on the clock. It’s fucking unprofessional.”

“I’m in my own room!” She was already exasperated with him before, but is clearly even more on edge now. Maybe because she can guess that during his scan he also saw her vibrator stashed away in her underwear drawer. He did enjoy the brief mental image it gave him, but there’s no reason for him to bring it up and give her a hard time. If he really wanted to, he could listen for the buzzing sound at night and look through walls and floors to perv on her. But he’s not that obsessed with her.

“Your room is in Vought Tower, and 10 am is work hours by any definition, even a New Yorker's. So pull yourself together. Wear your old maid uniform, at least, if you can’t force yourself to wear this sexy one.”

“Sorry I can’t be like you and live in my suit 24/7. But I’d like to see you wear that thing and then tell me you’d want to spend time in it.”

Homelander’s mind feels like it shorts out and goes blank for a moment.

~~~

He brings the uniform he pulled out back to his own room. Starlight has no intention of wearing it or at least she didn’t voice any protest when he took it with him. He has no interest in the white and gold shapewear that might as well be a swimsuit and throws it on the bed, but he’s itching to touch the gold gloves and thigh-high boots. He remembers when he touched her gloves for the first time, holding hands as they walked down the red carpet after Translucent’s funeral. He was drawn to do it again down in the tunnels, patronizing her, grabbing her wrists as he told her to kill off her lowly on-again off-again boytoy. But he was touching them through his own thick gloves. It wasn't until assaulting her in the elevator that he really lost his mind over the way they felt as he snaked his hand down her body while she raised her arms up to protect herself.

Now he strips down with eagerness that surprises himself, and fucking moans when he touches her gloves with his bare hands. He tries to pull one of them on but to no avail. They’re small and tailored for thinner arms than his– and he’s so bad at estimating his own body size under the foam padding that he fully expected them to be able to stretch and fit. He can’t quite fit his feet into the boots either, even with the leg is unzipped all the way down to the ankle. All he can do is push his feet in as far as they will go, not quite able to fit his arch in, heel hanging over the edge.

This won’t do. 

~~~

When Homelander orders only the accessory pieces to Starlight’s deprecated uniform, but in a bigger size, the people in the costuming department look at him uncertainly.

“Is she wearing it again?” they ask, as if it's any of their business. “We weren’t aware her size changed.”

Homelander sighs at having to explain himself. “It’s not... for her. It’s for a different woman. Who’s a bit larger.” He realizes his tone sounds strange as he’s trying to come up with a good lie for why he needs this. “Can you just make them larger?”

“But sir, no one else is allowed to wear Starlight’s uniform, even the old version. It’s copyrighted…” the man with a ‘Steve’ nametag begins to stammer.

“Oh for crying out loud, this isn’t for wearing outside. It will only be worn behind closed doors, I promise you. And I trust I can ask to keep this discreet?”

The people behind the counter look at each other nervously, but smile appeasingly and nod and promise to deliver something for him in the next few weeks… days!, they quickly correct themselves when they see the irritation on his face at the long timeline.

~~~

He finds the package is delivered right to his door. Maybe the department downstairs were intimidated by him and dropped it off to avoid a conversation. Homelander thinks they’re being ridiculous. He’s given them no trouble, asked for no modification of his own suits– he’s requested very few changes since 1999. When he opens the box and unwraps the white tissue paper providing cushioning around the gloves and boots, he forgets all of his annoyance at them. The gloves are just like Starlight’s originals, not a knockoff material as he feared they might resort to if they no longer had the old one in stock. They’re thin and silky to the touch— and not very protective at all compared to his thick pleather ones. He strips down and tries to pull one of them on. It’s still a tight squeeze but he manages to get his hand into the glove, just a little too small. He can't really complain when he didn’t give them any exact specs. He pulls on the other glove too. They feel insanely good, smooth, lightweight, and he loves the feeling of them stretched all the way up to the middle of his upper arms. He sits on his bed and just rubs them up and down his own torso, touching his nipples, and running a hand down from his breastbone, past his navel and to his crotch. Its only takes a few strokes of his cock with the silky texture to get him hard. 

He pauses before riling himself up any further, and puts on the boots. They're also tight, but this time he can push his foot in and even zip up all the way up to mid-thigh. He walks to the mirror to really admire this, finding walking in heels unfamiliar but loving the extra height. He gets harder when he sees his pale, thin torso surrounded by gold-wrapped arms and legs. He's usually vaguely disgusted by seeing himself nude. His brain is used to the suit, and when it’s not hiding his deficiencies he looks bony, skinny, pathetic, as weak as he's afraid to be. But in this getup he enjoys being on the lean side. He keeps rubbing his hands up and down his torso, twisting and turning in front of the mirror, cupping his ass, shifting his weight from one leg to the other coyly, jutting his hips, even crouching down and doing an obscene spread of his legs. These gloves and boots are much more fun than his own, he is loath to admit.

Starlight’s an idiot. She had the best uniform in the Seven, if she had had any clue how to work it. She doesn’t seem to understand that part of her job being America’s Sweetheart on the Seven is having strong sex appeal, even if she’s marketed to be a little demure and provincial.

His cock is aching to be touched again, and he obliges, watching his motions in his reflection, coming with a groan all too quickly, and spraying the mirror’s surface despite standing more than a foot away.

[x-atlas-x]

Late sleepy prompt ask because I somehow forgot to actually send an ask:

'The bed's cold without you.'

Yami at Atem, monarchshipping ;p

Thank you for the prompt, my friend! :3

After what felt like endless hours of almost ripping his hair out and straining his eyes, Atem finally turned off his computer monitor. He removed his glasses and rubbed at his face, letting out an obnoxious groan.

At least my work is done for the day, he gently reminded himself. He rolled back from his desk and stood up, pushing the chair in. He stretched his arms above his head as he walked towards the door leading out of his home office.

He closed the door behind him and headed down the hallway to the bedroom where he'd left his boyfriend in the midst of their cuddle session that morning. His heart ached and he dreaded doing it, but he knew he had some virtual meetings he needed to be on time for.

He opened the door and poked his head in, smiling when he spotted Yami curled up beneath the covers where he'd left him. Tightly held in his arms was none other than a pillow—his replacement.

He entered as quietly as possible and unbuttoned his dress shirt, hanging it back up in their closet. He loosened the drawstring on his sweatpants that he hadn't bothered to change out of. There was no point since nobody would see him below the waist on calls.

"The bed's cold without you," Yami's sleepy voice mumbled, disturbing the previous silence that filled the room.

Atem jumped a little and whirled around, seeing that Yami hadn't shifted or even opened his eyes. He sighed, "I thought you were asleep."

"Hard to sleep when you're not here," He replied, his lips curling up in a small smile. He peeked his eyes open and looked at Atem through a haze of exhaustion. He returned the pillow to the top of their bed and made grabby hands at him.

"I'm sorry. You know how demanding work can be," Atem reminded him as he crossed the room in a few slow strides, sliding in beside Yami. Arms wound about his waist within seconds, tugging him against his boyfriend's chest.

"'s alright," Yami murmured and nuzzled his neck. "You're here now—and you're not allowed to leave the nest again."

"What if I have to use the bathroom?"

Yami grumbled, "Nope. Hold it."

"Seriously?"

Barely lifting his head, Yami playfully glared at him, smirking, "Seriously."

Atem rolled his eyes and chuckled, "Okay, okay. I'm not gonna leave our nest."

"Good," Yami hummed.

With a soft exhale, Atem relaxed, holding Yami securely in his embrace as they drifted off into a deep slumber once again.

(Prompts)

[wreywrites]

Tiger Shark

Part 7: The Sail

Chapter 37

The next morning, after a truly wretched night during which Alvan wakes up three times and Cashmere once more, we all stand by the door and get our schedules printed on our wrists. At least we can go to breakfast together. Then I have classes all morning, and Finnick has different classes. That’s not going to work. For one thing, Finnick really does need clothes. He can’t keep borrowing Gloss’s. And he’ll never be able to get himself to the room on Level 17 where they handle clothes and shoes and towels. And we need another pillow, because the two of us are experts at sharing even very small beds, but sharing a pillow is too much to ask of us.

For another thing, I meant it when I said I wasn’t letting him out of my sight ever again.

And there’s Katniss. I finally hear at breakfast what happened to her. How Peeta tried to strangle her the minute he saw her when they brought him back. I need to go see her, even though I really don’t know how to do that. I don’t know what she needs to hear, what will help her, what will make sense. I feel reasonably confident that I’m not the person for the job, because Finnick is back and normal if not well fed, and Peeta just tried to kill Katniss. I have what she wants, and even I know it isn’t fair.

But we’re also friends. Or at least as close to friends as I think people in our situation can be. And I need her to know that I’m still here for her.

So after breakfast I take Finnick to Level 17, and we get him a pillow and a towel and boots and clothes, which he hates, he says as he talks endlessly on the way back to 2289.

“I hate them, Annie. I’ll wear them, but I hate them. I hate wearing what everyone else is wearing. It’s like the Hunger Games all over again and I hate it. I’m done playing. I had to play twice, and now I feel like they’re getting me dressed to send me back in and I hate it.”

I hate it too, but it’s a better kind of misery than seeing the way his skin clings to his bones.

When we get to 2289, Alvan is there, skipping whatever class he’s supposed to be in right now and napping instead. He jerks awake when we enter, and won’t listen to our apologies for waking him.

“I woke y’all up enough last night, ’s only fair.”

We hurry through putting everything away. Finnick’s clothes go in my closet, because they’re almost the same size as Gloss’s and Finnick doesn’t want to mix them up, and my closet has more room anyway. I toss the extra pillow on the bed and he hangs the towel on the hook on the wall, and all the while, he is talking.

When we are done, I give him a gentle smile. “Honey, you’re driving Alvan up the mast.”

Finnick frowns, but Alvan nods, just visible over the edge of the top bunk. “Y’are. ’M sorry, but you’re makin’ me nuts.”

“Sorry,” Finnick says.

“Don’t apologize. Don’t wanna stop ya doin’ what helps. But I do want a nap.”

Finnick opens his mouth but Alvan holds up the hand that was hanging off his bed. “Told ya not to apologize. I’ve got no idea what you’ve been through these last couple’a months, ’n’ if talkin’ ’til the cows come home helps ya, I don’t want ya to stop on my ’count. Just want ya to talk somewhere else for an hour or two,” he finishes with a dry smile.

“That I can do,” Finnick says.

Alvan smiles and closes his eyes. “Thank ya kindly. Tell Katniss I say hi.”

I shut the lights off as we slip back out into the hallway.

As soon as the door to 2289 is closed, Finnick grabs my hand. “Does it bother you?”

“What?”

“I know I’m talking all the time. Does it bother you? I can stop.”

“No.” I squeeze his hand. “Don’t stop. I like your stories.” Then I stop in the middle of the hallway, dragging him to a halt with me. “I love you. Do you hear me? I love you exactly the way you are, everything about you, even your annoying personality quirks. I love that you cheat at marbles and that you’re a terrible singer and that you lie about how long you can hold your breath and that you will talk for hours because I can’t fall asleep when it’s too quiet. Alright?”

He hugs me. “I love you too. And I don’t cheat at marbles. It’s a game of luck. It’s impossible to cheat.”

“Then why do you always win?”

He thinks about this for a moment. “Because I’m very lucky.” He laces his fingers through mine. “I landed you, so I have to be.”

I roll my eyes. “Come on, let’s go see Katniss.”

He talks the whole way to the hospital, only pausing when I see Katniss’s sister at the other end of a hall and wave her down to ask which room Katniss is in. Prim gives us directions, then, unprompted, says, “Johanna is two rooms down from her, and Cecelia’s across the hall. Johanna is still under. They want to wake her up tomorrow. But Cecelia is up and stuck in bed and none of us have any good news for her. She might appreciate the company.”

I thank her, and we go to Katniss’s room.

“Katniss, I’m sorry…” I don’t know what else to say. I don’t want to make it worse, but it occurs to me that there isn’t a way to avoid that.

She nods. She looks sad, like she might cry but refuses to.

Then she looks at Finnick and smiles a little.

“Hi.” He grins.

She waves, then whispers, “I’m not supposed to talk.”

“Then we’ll talk to you.” I sit down in the chair by the bed. “And you can just… hit me when you’re tired of us.”

Katniss nods again, and Finnick launches into the story of his first jellyfish sting, and then the epic of the clownfish, and then the tale of the octopus that tried to kill him. He talks and talks and talks, and I am content to let him, even though I’ve heard them all before, because Katniss hasn’t, and his stories mean he’s back. He’s here.

Katniss falls asleep sometime during the octopus story, which is disappointing, because I know she’d get a laugh out of it, especially from how funny she seemed to find the story about the jellyfish sting. Then again, Finnick likes to talk. It’ll be easy to get him to tell it again.

Then we go down the hall to Cecelia’s room. She lights up when I poke my head in.

“Annie! You’re okay!”

“Yeah!” I hurry to the chair at her bedside, sit, and take her hand. “Yeah, I’ve been in Thirteen since Katniss blew up the arena. They keep me fed. And Alvan keeps me out of trouble.”

“Who else?” She looks eager for news, for anything really.

“Katniss, Beetee, Haymitch. Gloss,” I add quickly, with a mischievous glance at Finnick.

Cecelia laughs. “Can’t believe he got out. Wasn’t even in on it, and he got out when we couldn’t.”

“He was right by the tree. He jumped me when Brutus went after Alvan, but he knew we were up to something. He broke my fingers and staged a fight, and they pulled us both out.”

Finnick sits on the foot of the bed, careful to avoid the brace around Cecelia’s right leg and foot. “You think that’s a surprise? Imagine being me and walking into her room and finding out she’s living with Gloss.”

“At least you’re not still in here,” Cecelia says, looking around the room disgustedly. “It reminds me too much of… there.”

Finnick nods. “The rooms aren’t much better, but the company is.” He smiles at me.

Cecelia smiles back. “I’m happy for you two. Not many of us got to make things work. Now I just hope you get to go home.” Her voice catches on the last word.

“Cecelia-” I start.

“We got out.” Finnick says, right over me, voice firm. “You and me. We survived and we got out. We’ll survive this, and then we’ll go home.”

“But what if there’s no home left?” Cecelia whispers. “They showed me the footage when they bombed Eight. It’s- There’s-” Her breathing is labored. “What if I don’t want to go back?”

She’s done it. She’s put into words what I’ve been terrified of ever since I learned they bombed Twelve. What I couldn’t quite know I was scared of. The danger I have always been able to feel but not find.

I stare at Finnick, expecting the same petrified fear I’m feeling. What I get is a soft smile.

Finnick turns back to Cecelia and takes both her hands. “Home is just the place where the people you love are. If you don’t want to go back to Eight, you can always move in with us. Bring Mark and the kids. We’ll build a big house, up in the Traps, so we can sit on the beach every day.”

I catch myself imagining it as he talks.

“Annie’ll teach the kids to dive, and we’ll eat lobster every night. I’ll buy a boat, and we’ll go out whale watching on Saturdays. Thursday night is game night, obviously, and we’ll invite all our friends for holidays. We’ll throw the craziest New Year’s parties you can imagine, and when we’re all hungover the next morning, Annie’s dad will make coffee so good we’ll fight over it, except Annie because she’s crazy and doesn’t like coffee. And I’ll learn how to make pancakes…”

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

It takes almost three weeks for Cashmere to start talking again.

What finally does it is Gloss talking about Taffeta and Farroe, which is skirting the edge of setting me off, though I have noticed an odd but marked improvement in how often I fade out since starting these We Remember propos.

We all feel a little weird about doing most of the tributes from One and Two. They’re not underdogs, and they don’t ever become as popular in the other districts as victors from poorer and less Capitol-cozy places, but Plutarch made the argument that Cashmere and Gloss are on our side, and plenty of other victors have joined the rebels in One and Two, and the whole point of these propos is to show that the districts are unified in their fight against the Capitol. Every tribute is a child, not just the ones from Twelve and Ten and Seven and Three.

So we are talking about Taffeta and Farroe, and Cashmere says quietly, “I always hated having volunteers.”

We all jump, turn to look at her.

“I volunteered,” she goes on. “That’s why I hated them. They didn’t know what they were getting into. I knew what they were getting into. But I had to keep up the act. Had to pretend I loved it. Loved their confidence and their swagger and their built-in skill. Loved how much they adored me. I couldn’t tell them what it was really like. You can’t explain it. You know.” She looks around at all of us.

Alvan, sitting next to her, nods.

“But how do you tell this glory-hungry eighteen-year-old that they could die in there just as easily as some twelve-year-old from Five? That killing someone changes you? How do you tell them not to want this?” Cashmere stares around, eyes wild.

“You can’t,” Finnick rasps. He had a volunteer one year, three years before me, I think, and one in the Seventy-Third Hunger Games. “You have to let them go.”

“Just once, I wanted one of them to be scared.”

The rest of us think about this for several seconds.

“I was scared,” I whisper. “I was so scared. I know I didn’t look like it and I didn’t act like it, but I was terrified.”

“Think we all were,” Alvan says. Then he glances down at his hands, resting at the edge of the table like they usually do. Cashmere has one of them in a white-knuckle grip. “Think we all are.”

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

Gloss still paces at bedtime, but Cashmere bumps his shoulder playfully and he settles down faster. Alvan still wakes up panicked in the night, but we are all there to remind him he isn’t in the arena, that he’ll never go back. None of us will. Cashmere shrieks and sends Finnick spiraling but I am there for him, and Gloss—and increasingly Alvan—is there to talk Cashmere down. I fall asleep to all of them talking to me and to each other, dangerously close to a normal group of adults. Finnick jerks awake in the morning, reaching for anything to use as a weapon, then melts back into bed when his eyes meet mine.

Cecelia gets moved out of the hospital and into 2226.

We make our demands. We’re victors. We stick together. The powers that be say no. We try again. We drag Haymitch with us and Haymitch drags Plutarch along and the powers that be tell us they are reassessing our living situation.

They put Finnick, Alvan, and Gloss in 2109. Cecelia, Cashmere, and I get 2110.

We say nothing but thank you. We go back to 2289, pack up our very few belongings, and shuffle ourselves appropriately. When we get up in the morning, Gloss goes back to 2109 and I go back to 2110 and we all print our schedules on our wrists in our assigned rooms.

Most days we spend down in Production, talking about every tribute we’ve ever known. After supper, we go down to Special Weaponry and throw things at the dummy range. At least one of us visits Katniss and Johanna every day, until Katniss goes to Two. Then we keep visiting Johanna.

We eat meals together like a normal group of friends. Hazelle chats easily with Cecelia. Rory and Vick talk cattle with Alvan because they are determined to get a cow after the rebellion. Posy loves each and every one of us, showing off her lucky first tooth coin at every opportunity.

One night we get to supper a little late and have to crowd in and Posy jumps up from her seat, shoves Finnick into it, then hops up onto his lap with commendable confidence.

At the sight of Finnick’s surprised and somewhat cowed expression, Cashmere bursts into laughter, the bright sound filling the air. It’s the first time I’ve heard her laugh since she got here.

This makes Posy light up. “Your laugh sounds like singing. It makes me happy.”

On my other side, Alvan nods.

“You know what would make me happy?” Finnick says, doing his unpracticed best to eat left-handed around Posy. “If you meanies didn’t laugh at me.”

Cashmere laughs harder and Gloss and Alvan and Cecelia and I join her.

Posy giggles and tugs on my sleeve.

I lean down close to her and she whispers, in the loud way only little kids can, “Your boyfriend is too nice.”

“Oh is he?” I laugh.

She nods, very seriously. “They’ll never stop picking on him if he doesn’t fight back.”

“Hear that, Finnick?” I grin at him. “You are just too nice.”

“Sorry,” he grins back, “I was too focused on the ‘boyfriend’ part of that sentence. It’s got a nice ring to it.”

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

I have just finished brushing my teeth when I remember. “Alvan, where’d you get that coin you gave Posy?”

“The first tooth coin?” he asks from the table where he is looking at the notebook Katniss’s mother got for me that is now nearly full of drawings.

“Yeah.”

“It was mine. From my first tooth.” He turns the page with an impressed nod.

“How… How did you still have it?”

“It was my token in the Games. Both of ’em, actually. So, it’s a real lucky coin. ’N’ I figure I don’t need it anymore, so why not give it to someone who does?”

I sit down next to Finnick as he tilts his head at Alvan.

“You might be the only genuinely good person to win the Hunger Games,” Finnick says, with a kind of awed respect in his voice.

“Nah.” Alvan snorts. “Ain’t none of us any better’n the rest. We all killed… You ’n’ I oughtta know better’n anyone. ’S not the Games that make us bad, ’s what we do after. ’N’ most of us come out okay in the end.” He pauses, and when he continues it is in a much quieter voice. “Givin’ lil miss Posy that coin didn’t change that I killed Cally, but it is what Cally would’a done. That’s how I’m tryin’ to live. For her.”

I go to bed with Alvan’s words still ringing in my ears.

What would Mako have done?

I fall asleep with vague imaginings of a world in which Cally and Mako won instead of Alvan and me. Cally talking excitedly with Posy about losing her first tooth. Mako carrying Cassia Vickers in a waltz at his Victory Banquet. Mako becoming best friends with Augustus. Mako getting sold around the Capitol like Finnick. Mako getting reaped in the Quarter Quell. Mako hearing the jabberjays mimic a twisted version of my long-dead screams. Mako, Mako, Mako.

~~~                               ~~~                               ~~~

At first I’m not sure what woke me up. I’m generally such a heavy sleeper that I have, on occasion, slept through Alvan’s nightmares. Finnick has no idea how I do this. Neither do I.

But tonight, the light by the other bottom bunk flicking on has roused me from my strange dreams of Mako’s life as a victor. Cecelia, in her pajamas, is talking to Alvan. She doesn’t get much said before he sits up and nods, then pulls himself out of bed and flicks the light off.

Finnick jerks awake.

“You’re alright. It’s me. I’m here.”

He nods against my shoulder, already drifting back to sleep.

“Be back,” Alvan whispers, following Cecelia out into the hallway.

He is not back when I wake up the next morning. Cecelia is sleeping in his bunk, her leg brace propped awkwardly up against the wall. It makes me wonder what exactly happened over in 2110 last night.

Finnick sleeps for another fifteen minutes, then wakes with a yelp. I have him calmed down almost immediately, but Cecelia is already up.

“Sorry,” Finnick mumbles.

“Oh don’t worry,” Cecelia almost laughs. “I have three kids. I get woken up by other people’s bad dreams a lot.”

I get dressed and Cecelia and I go back over to 2110. We meet Gloss in the hallway.

“Well?” Cecelia asks.

Gloss shrugs. “I have been replaced. Should have seen it coming.”

Cecelia laughs. “I suspected, but I didn’t know if-”

The door to 2110 opens and Alvan comes out. “Y’all havin’ a hall party?”

“Something like that,” Cecelia says. “You must have gotten her back to sleep?”

Alvan nods. “Thought we might have to take ’er back to the hospital, but we got ’er down eventually.”

“Good.” Cecelia smiles. “I’ll trade you beds.”

Alvan opens his mouth, but Gloss cuts him off. “Don’t you dare say no.”

“Alright then.”

When everyone is dressed and scheduled, we go down to breakfast, and then to Production, where they have a dozen or so We Remember propos ready for our viewing and approval. We settle around the table, Alvan resting his hands on the edge like he always does, but this time I notice the one next to Cashmere is palm up, and before I even have time to process that odd and uncomfortable-looking change of habit, she grabs the hand in a white-knuckle grip and stares through the table.

I decide not to comment on this as Fulvia plays the first propo.

Six propos later, we approve all of them quietly, and then Fulvia starts us on the next bunch from her list. She does this gently, picking a random name and asking the group at large, and then she lets us drift from there, and she checks off names as we go.

****

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