#at buffalo wild wings. I was bored

[palestinianpaintbrush]

Fork

17 minutes

My masterpiece

[isdalinarhot]

I fixed myself with the power of We Are Young by Fun btw. No time for feeling negative things about fictional characters and randos on tumblr when by the time the bar closes and you feel like falling down I’ll carry you home tonight

I’m like. Only extremely rarely annoyed or petty or any of those emotions listed under the anger category in the emotions wheel when drunk idk what’s going on w me tonight honestly

[opaquewhitetights]

Sorry it’s me I’m the person who works at the butchfemme slop factory it’s me who’s putting all those leg comparison photos on your feed sorry yeah the ones where like the femme is wearing cute little heels and the butch is wearing boots or some shit yeah you know the ones. Yeah that’s me sorry sometimes I just wanna clock out early and they’re sooooo easy to make lol. I can send a couple of those down the line with my eyes closed LOL. Plus I get a bonus everytime someone comments or tags it “me and who” or whatever and the lack of faces helps with that. Yeah. I think I’m going to caption the next one “when the desire is lowkey persistent…” or something like that. Something referential, niche but not too niche. I’m kinda phoning it in today but hey, they can’t all be hits. It’s not a bad gig to be honest but sometimes I get bored and just wanna go home because that’s where the criterioj channel that I use through my roku tv is! You understand. Tgif. Thank god it’s fridayyyy! Except it’s not Friday. There’s a bottle of rumple minze in the freezer plus pills I stole from my grandmother lol she’s so mad. I think I’m going to do a beedubs pick up order (buffalo wild wings for those that are ootl - out of the loop!) and eat them in my car when I get off so I don’t have to do dishes. Tomorrow is a no eating day.

[bueckersverse]

im at buffalo wild wings and im trying so hard to watch this mens basketball game but its so boring i cant bring myself to watch it 😣

maybe im just gay but 🙂‍↕️

[monsteraddict1]

Red Sky Warning

This is a cod fic that I’m working on. It’s also on Wattpad I swear it’s good. A lil Simon Riley x reader

Prologue

A nice warm day. The tree outside of my room casted a shadow from the sunlight outside.

Seventeen.

Dancing Queen had been blasting in my headphones since I woke up. It's my seventeenth birthday. What else would I be listening to?

  I was sat at my desk with my headphones as I was peacefully playing CSGO. Well as peaceful as I could play CSGO. It mostly ended in me screaming profanities at my mic and my step mom telling me to watch my mouth while my friend Jackie burst out laughing.

   "You got enough money to move out yet?" She asked with a laugh.

  "Almost." I said with a smile on my face. "My Aunt said when I turn eighteen I can move in with her. She's never really home so..."

   "Oh so you'll practically be by yourself."

  "Yup! It's gonna be great!" I beamed as I got another kill in.

  We played a few more rounds a few friends joined. Our friends Darragh and Damien joined so we messed around a bit.

  "What time is it over there anyway? Do you guys just not eat dinner?" Jackie asked them.

  "Ate just before joinin'." Darragh's Irish accent rang through my headset.

  "It's 6:30 over here." Damien joined in.

  "It's 1:30 over here. Jesus, I haven't left my room at all today." I laughed.

  "It's yer birthday! Go do something!" Darragh yelled through the mic.

  "I am doing something! I'm hanging out with you guys!"

  "Ye're a feckin lost cause."

  "Oh fuck off!"

  "Language! Young lady!" My step mom's voice yelled though was muffled by my headset.

  "Sorry!" I yelled back down.

  "I swear my dad married her for a green card." I grumbled.

   "HA! Imagine living in America!" Darragh laughed then immediately got shot.

"Karma." You could practically hear the smirk on Jackie.

   "I remember when you came here and said that everything is more exciting here. And I agree. Ireland is boring as fuck." I replied to Darragh.

   "You guys do have better food." Damien spoke.

   "Bro went to Buffalo Wild Wings once and wants to go to America." Darragh made fun of Damien and we all joined in with laughter.

"I'M FUCKIN DEAD AGAIN!" Darragh screamed, full fuckin diaphragm.

"Alright Will Ramos, calm down."

  "You guys should come to America next summer." Jackie suggested. "We can all crash at (Y/n)'s place since she'll practically be alone."

  "I don't think my Aunt Kate would be okay with that. And I think I'm going to Ireland with my uncle to visit family."

  "And us too!" Darragh cut in.

  "Eh. If I have time I might stop by." I smiled sarcastically.

   "Your aunt Kate is friends with British people. I don't care for her opinion." Damien said in a serious tone but we all knew he was joking... kinda. "And you better visit us." He huffed.

  "Oi! I'm half British!" Yelled Darragh.

"She works for the government. I don't care for her opinion." Jackie joined in.

"You guys are just haters. She's not that bad." I smiled. "Not bad at all if she's willing to take me in."

"She doesn't know what she's in for." Jackie laughed.

  "Don't think she does, but whateveh."

We played for another two hours before we got off. I walked downstairs and saw my step mom at the table.

The lights were dim and my feet were cold on the wooden floor. Next to her was a smaller table dressed in a baby blue tablecloth. A few pictures of my half brother. His deep brown eyes smiling through the photos. A couple of his favorite plushes on the table as well.

  Along with his urn.

Luke died of leukemia two years ago. Almost exactly eight years after my dad died. My step mom hasn't been the same since my father's passing. So you could imagine what it was like after her only baby boy died.

I truly felt bad for my mom because Luke was her blood child but she acts like I barely exist anymore. I know I'm not really her kid but I've known her a long time and it's like it doesn't even matter. Her whole family is like that though. Well, except her sister Kate. She's the only normal person in her family. My mom doesn't really like her all that much but she's one of those people that won't cut people off because their family. It works out for me because I love my aunt Kate.

"Mom?" I asked looking at her. She looked at me with a dead stare. I only call her mom because I've known her for so long. "Are you okay?"

"It should've been you..." She mumbled. Her eyes were dilated and she looked out of it.

She was referring to my brother. It wasn't the first time she's said something like this but usually she was sober. Right now there was clearly something in her system. I didn't know what exactly. She's not a big drinker and I know the only alcohol in the house is the box of Mikes in my room.

"I know." I mumbled. I gave up on fighting her about this long ago. She's Grieving, I'll give her time. I'll be out of here soon enough.

"You never help around the house, you sit in your room all day doing god knows what!" She attempted to rase her voice. It came out strained and slurred.

She suddenly stood up though she was swaying from side to side. I walked to her side to help her. Next thing I knew I had a stinging feeling on my cheek. She must've used all of her strength to slap me because I stumbled back. I barely even moved. My mouth slightly agape. I just stared at her as she tried to steady herself.

Her lips were turning blue and she was shaking.

"Mom?" No reply. All her hair was in the front of her face. She was sticky with sweat. "Mom?" I asked a little louder. "Mom you're scaring me!" I walked closer to her. An orange bottle caught my eye when I looked over at Luke's memorial.

Shit.

"MOM!" I yelled as I laid her down on the floor. I quickly grabbed my phone and called 911. My heart was going a mile a minute.

The paramedics took her away. Her skin was graying as she was being loaded into the ambulance. My face felt wet with tears.

If she dies on my fucking birthday.

It's not fair! She gets to overdose on my birthday! Like I didn't lose a father and a brother! I'm losing the only mother I've ever known?!

  I walked back inside. I grabbed my phone from my pocket. A picture of the four of us as my Home Screen. I screamed and threw it at the wall.

  It's not fair!

   I went over to my now shattered phone and opened it. Slightly cutting my thumb on the glass. I hit the contact and it rang twice before picking up.

"Aunt Kate?"

[myloish]

mild doxxing information incoming but i was looking at the theater for tomorrow's DNDads show because I have a terrible sense of direction and the place's name sounded so damn familiar and, yep, the theater is the same one that's literally across the street from my aunt's old shoe store, where my mom would spend a lot of free time working when i was a teen, while I bummed around until i got bored and went somewhere else (RIP the two story barnes and noble that over time has been converted into a buffalo wild wings)

in doing this though, i also learned that 1) the shoe store has since been shut down, which i guess makes sense because after covid my aunt had a full-scale qanon breakdown to the point where she has disavowed half the family and owns a generator and water filters and buckets of MREs which she says she got specifically to leave behind for the people who will be scavenging the ravaged earth after the rapture, so i guess selling shoes and kitschy shoe-themed coffee table books aren't her top priority anymore

and 2) it's since been replaced by a bookstore with a pride flag in the window :)

[stargirl-dreamer]

I live both of these lives, the physically disabled and the mental and this post is so accurate, I have had several people who were once what I thought friends quit showing up because I'm STILL sick, and STILL having bad days like it's just supposed to magically get better. I don't complain very often so it's not like I'm a boring person to be around, but trying to accommodate my needs is more than some people are willing to do, even friends I'd had for years until I got sick. Sadly, my needs aren't even that demanding:

- pick me up (most of my so called friends live in the same town as me) because my disability doesn't allow me to safely drive

- when we hang out it can't be in a loud environment like a bar, concert, Buffalo Wild Wings. Most restaurants are fine just not the SUPER loud ones.

- I may be using a cane so probably no hiking (not that any of these people do that anyway).

To me these aren't hard accommodations, they aren't even that severe....

There's a mistake I see a lot of people in the mental health community make and in all honesty, it's one I've made myself. But I think we should really work on it. And that's saying "if this were a physical illness, wouldn't you care?"

I've learned that no actually, people wouldn't care. Katelyn Weinstein (theADHDprincess on Twitter) is a neurodiversity acceptance activist who really put this in perspective for me. She said that it's actually more an issue of longevity than physical vs mental health.

If you're having a bad day people will generally be understanding. But when you're experiencing chronic depression and you have many bad days people lose sympathy.

In the same respect people may be understanding when you've broken a bone that will heal properly or when you have a cold that will go away soon in ways they simply won't understand when you have chronic pain or need to use a wheelchair. They may send chicken soup for a temporary situation, but when you need consistent accomodations it's an entirely different story.

I understand that from our perspective it looks like people care more about physical health than mental health, but it's good to remember that our own perspective is also limiting. Facing ableism doesn't mean you can't be ableist. And I know so many people are not ill-intentioned when they say this. I know I wasn't. But we can't discount the lived experiences of physically disabled people. If we want true equality we need to be united and we need to listen to those with physical disabilities and illnesses. And those with physical disabilities and illnesses (some of which are also invisible) have said that they are not given proper accomodations either.

So let's be united and fight for equality and accomodations for everyone, no matter what their illness or disability may be.

[lurlur]

Rating the NHL mascots - Part 2

Part 1 is here

Minnesota Wild

Nordy

What are you, Nordy? Officially, Nordy is a "wild animal" which is just SUPER helpful, Minnesota. Thanks. He's got a sweet face, though. I like the extra colouring that keeps him from being boring. I feel like he'd benefit from some sharp teeth though. Give the boy some ferocity. Assuming he's the kind of wild animal that can be ferocious? WHO FUCKIN' KNOWS???

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetics: 9/10

Horror: 2/10

Fuckability: 6/10

Overall, 6/10. Could be better, but the inability to commit hurts Nordy's potential.

Buffalo Sabres

Sabretooth

I may not have much in this world, but one of the things that I do have is a degree in palaeontology. This goofy looking motherfucker is not an accurate sabretooth cat and I have decided to take that personally. This is a cartoon tiger with dental issues. This is Tony the Tiger's inbred cousin. He's not OK. At least he looks relatively kind, if a little concerned.

Vibes: 5/10

Aesthetics: 1/10

Horror: 1/10

Fuckability: 1/10

Overall, 2/10. Is it too much to ask for to have palaeontologically accurate mascots in 2023?

Nashville Predators

Gnash

Is this a joke? Am I a joke to you? ANOTHER sabre tooth cat? Jesus fucking christ. OK, this one isn't AS bad. It's not good, but it's not as bad as the last entry. Actual sabre teeth, a sculpted cat head, team colours can be forgiven for mascot purposes. The lower jaw is all wrong and the stripes are conjecture at best, but the overall effect doesn't fill me with the same blind rage as Buffalo's cat. Gnash is getting by on a loaded comparison. His name is pretty cool though.

Vibes: 6/10

Aesthetics: 4/10

Horror: 5/10

Fuckability: 3/10

Overall, 4.5/10. Literally skating through because Sabretooth is SO bad and SO fresh in my memory. Take the wins where you can, Gnash.

Florida Panthers

Stanley C. Panther

Florida somehow has two mascots? I'm going with Stanley, but please do be aware of, I assume, Matthew Tkachuk's best friend: Victor E. Rat.

Stanley, here, is a panther. Of course. And he's fine. Just fine. Another big cat, underwhelming design, pretty minimal costuming. He's got a reasonably characterful face. I feel like a good performer could make him work, but in still images he's lacklustre. Sorry, Stanley.

Vibes: 6/10

Aesthetics: 3/10

Horror: 3/10

Fuckability: 6/10

Overall, 4.5/10. Middling score for a middling mascot. Maybe I should have gone with Victor...

New York Islanders

Sparky the Dragon

Got myself tied in knots about this one because the Isles have made some attempts to move on from Sparky, it seems. There's an absolutely horrifying fisherman named Nyisles that I won't ever unsee. The NHL website says Sparky, though, so Sparky it is! He's a dragon! Look at his lil wings! Good teeth, bright colours, horns for holding. What's not to love? Literally nothing. Except the fact that he's mascot for the Isles... but that's not what we're doing here.

Vibes: 10/10

Aesthetics: 10/10

Horror: 4/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 8/10. He's a dragon! I love me a dragon! I don't care!

St Louis Blues

Louie

Louie, OK. Blue, OK. Wipe clean mouth? OK, I guess. Why a bear, though? And why such a pale blue? This thing must be a nightmare to keep clean. Good ear shape, kind face, not quite hitting the bear perfection that is Carlton but a decent effort. The muzzle really is throwing me as a weird design choice. Like, OK, it does make the face more visually interesting but it also just looks like Louie has a skin problem. Does he have mange? We simply don't know.

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetics: 7/10

Horror: 3/10

Fuckability: 5/10

Overall, 5.5/10. Mostly because I'm concerned about his health. I don't want to catch mange.

Detroit Red Wings

Al the Octopus

Oh yeah, now we're talking. I actively hate this for a million reasons but it's so fucking insane that I also kind of love it! I do wish that Detroit fans would stop throwing octopuses onto the ice because that is no fate for a poor cephalopod. But look! It's a giant tentale monster! He looks MEAN! That's not just a guy in a bad fur suit! it's interesting and that's worth big points. I fully believe that Al would beat the shit out of me for no reason.

Vibes: 10/10

Aesthetics: 9/10

Horror: 9/10

Fuckability: 10/10

Overall, 9.5/10. Horrible, never stop.

Philidelphia Flyers

Gritty

Now, this is podracing! Gritty is how you do weird, undefined monster mascots properly. Gritty emerged following construction work at the Philidephia arena and is best described as a force for chaos. The eyes are wild, the energy is all over the place, the flow is spectacular, and the best part of Gritty's launch was the speed with which Philidelphia went from rejecting their new freak to declaring Gritty the new godking. Oh, you think Gritty is an ugly monster? Fuck you, we love them. Gritty is also undeniably a queer ally/icon/community leader? Hard to say exactly, but it's there. Immaculate vibes. Shame we can't say the same about everyone on the team...

Vibes: 10/10

Aesthetics: 10/10

Horror: 10/10

Fuckability: 10/10

Overall, 10/10. Gritty, hit me up. I have a short list of Flyers I need you to eat. Thanks, babe.

Ottawa Senators

Spartacat

Someone please get this lion a good haircare routine? Dear god, Spartacat. You leave the house looking like this? There's something almost endearing about how wet and pathetic this lion looks. He's just giving nothing. I want to nominate him for Queer Eye.

Vibes: 6/10

Aesthetics: 4/10

Horror: 2/10

Fuckability: 4/10

Overall, 4/10. Honestly, it's a pity fuck as well. Someone please help this lion.

Montreal Canadiens

Youppi!

What IS it? A man? Why is it so hairy? It might be a giant (lol) but that doesn't explain much at all. I HATE this. I think that's a fully body beard. You could shave that and maybe find just a normal man underneath. It's SO orange which just looks jarring with the Montreal colours. Bad. I would turn around and walk the other direction if I saw this on the street.

Vibes: 2/10

Aesthetic: 1/10

Horror: 8/10

Fuckability: 0/10

Overall, a generous 3/10. Please never make me look at Youppi! again.

Vancouver Canucks

Fin the Whale

They anthropomorphised a whale. That feels like it should be a crime. Certainly the way they've gone about it is. Fin loses points for having his dorsal fin on the back of his head and not, y'know, his actual back. He also appears to have no tail which is a real shame. Tails are a great design choice in almost every situation. I do like the sharp teeth and red tongue, though. Very suggestive. This feels like a missed opportunity. Fin could have been a lot better but they took the easy path instead of the interesting one. Boo you, Canucks design team.

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetics: 4/10

Horror: 5/10

Fuckability: 6/10

Overall, 5.5/10. I really wanted to like this more. I'm going to think about Ethan Bear for a minute to cheer myself up.

San Jose Skarks

S J Sharkie

No points for originality on the name, but for literally everything I just said about Fin? Sharkie gets it right. His dorsal fin is in the right place, he has shark elements beyond his head with those little elbow fins. Clear evidence that it's possible to make a weird sea creature/man hybrid without being boring AF. The head is a weird shape, but I'm feeling too much goodwill towards Sharkie right now to really mind. Nice teeth, too. I would have loved to have seen rows of teeth, maybe with some missing for a real hockey feel.

Vibes: 8/10

Aesthetics: 8/10

Horror: 6/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 7.5/10. A good score for a very smooth boy. Smooth in every direction.

Arizona Coyotes

Howler the Coyote

Hims feets too big for hims gotdamn shoes! I haven't ever actually seen a coyote before, so I had to go looking for a comparison. Conclusion? Why is his face so wide? I do like the very pointy nose, though. We've seen too many soft faced predators, this boy has a SNOUT. Got some lil teefies too, I like that. And a tail. I keep coming back to the feet busting out of the shoes though, like some teen wolf knock off. I kinda love it.

Vibes: 9/10

Aesthetics: 8/10

Horror: 4/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 7/10. Very good showing for a pointy faced doggo who needs new shoes.

Columbus Blue Jackets

Stinger

Help. Serously, please help me. Look at this thing. It's a bug, meant to be a play on blue jackets/yellow jackets. But I don't know what a yellow jacket is so any cleverness is kind of lost on me. This is HORRIBLE. They really went all in on making this unpleasant and I can applaud that, even as I hate it viscerally. And I do. The eyes, the butt, the rictus grin, the colour... It is offensive to mine eyeballs. I love it. One note, they should have given it another set of limbs.

Vibes: 1/10

Aesthetics: 10/10

Horror: 8/10

Fuckability: 0/10

Overall, 5/10. Awful. I can't look away.

Honourable mention to Boomer, the other Blue Jackets mascot who is just an anthropomorphic cannon. Great moustache. I wonder if Johnny Gaudreau is afraid of it.

Anaheim Ducks

Wild Wing

I do not believe that Wild Wing's designer had ever seen a duck. I'm not sure that the person who described duck to the designer or Wild Wing had ever seen a duck either. I think the description of a duck may have passed through as many as 15 people who had never seen a duck before reaching Wild Wing's designer. Oh Holly, you're so harsh. It's a duck in a hockey mask. OK, so they hadn't seen a modern hockey mask either. I like the mean expression, somehow through a mask, the Donald Duck-esque nudity, and the feet design. Almost a horse-sized duck.

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetics: 6/10

Horror: 5/10

Fuckability: 4/10

Overall, 5.5/10. You're no good, duck. You'll never be shit. You're just like your father.

Chicago Bad Team

Tommy Hawk

That's a turkey.

Vibes: 0/10

Aesthetics: 0/10

Horror: 0/10

Fuckability: 0/10

0/10. Boo.

[a-wendellandwild-fan]

(Pre-Movie) Wendell and Wild headcanons #1

Kat.

My girl actually has a sweet tooth. Anything that's actually filled with sugar is the best.

She has insomnia due to the constant nightmares she gets from the accident. She reads or does other stuff to keep her distracted at night, until she passes out from exhaustion, usually from two to three hours.

After meeting Wendell and Wild, she talks to them through Bearzebulb or through her dreams. Hearing them talk about Dream Fair fills her with a weird sense of joy.

Somehow managed to be in "okay" terms with Buffalo Belzer. After she almost got killed by him, that is.

Introduced her favourite songs to the three demons and hasn't been a day without them asking her to replay some songs.

She wishes she's been there to see Father Bests get wacked on the head. Just saying.

She has her bad nights. Thankfully, she can hear Wendell sing to her while hugging Bearzebulb.

Raul.

The brick wasn't, in fact, loose.

He's the shortest king alive and Kat hypes on him for it. It became a joke between them.

Loves to draw Kat because, in his words, "she's pretty to draw".

He doesn't really have a favourite music genre. He just vibes with whatever starts playing on his phone.

Wishes he buried every single nun in that school when he had the freaking chance.

Somehow ended up being the school's "voice of reason" between his peers.

Once saw Wendell hanging in Kat's room but he's been having a hard time falling asleep so he said "Oh look a big cat" out loud. Kat remembers that beautiful moment every night.

Doesn't really talk to his parents anymore. Not like they used to before he came out to them, at least. He misses them, but knows better than trying to keep the bad people in his life. Just hoping things get better once he's out of that place.

Sister Helley.

Doesn't really have anything against demons. Just wishes people could cut her some slack.

She actually has a nice singing voice. It's really soothing and soft, so anyone can easily fall asleep if she started singing.

Her protective instincts are over the roof when it comes to Kat. She really thinks she's a sweet kiddo.

I don't really have much headcanon of her, so we'll have to wait until the movie comes out to make more!

Wild.

He's the eldest by, like, thirty minutes or so.

He's the sibling that resembles more like his father, except he actually has hair..

The poor thing used to be afraid for his brother's wings. When they were destroyed, there wasn't a night that he wouldn't stay up for him, keeping guard.

Actually learned how to make puppy eyes from Wendell. Best thing he learned so far.

Once stole everything from Walmart and has absolutely no regrets.

He's actually quite grateful for Wendell. He can't even imagine how boring life would be without him.

Wild thinks his brother deserves more attention. He's glad to see some humans seem to like him when they're in their respective human forms.

Wendell.

The lil shit memorized the whole "Cats" musical JUST to bother his father.

Hates his feet the most out of, well, everything. Doesn't really like anything from himself besides his tail.

He could talk for hours and hours to his brother about something he loves. And it always makes him happy how interested he is in his nonsense.

He didn't realised that he was really touched-starved until Wild and him comforted each other on one night they were feeling absolutely horrible. He doesn't remember crying that much before.

He doesn't really hate his father, he just wishes he was a better listener. Maybe resents him a bit.

He's the smartest brother, but loves being a goofball with his brother. He kinda loves not having thoughts—

Buffalo Belzer.

The man is an Elvis fan and ironically enough, one of his favourite song is "Love Me Tender".

Used to make his deep voice useful and in a playful tone to give his sons a "warning". After all, if they misbehaved, the tickle monster was going to get them.

People working for him can't really tell if he's a powerful demon, or actually one of the lowest ranks. Either way, that's a secret between him and his kids alone. And Satan, of course.

Actually terrified of human dolls. Nobody knows why.

His relationship with Helley is... Complicated. He's not afraid of her at all, but would rather not get on her bad side.

He's actually a really bad liar. Wendell and Wild usually take this to their advantage and make their father laugh.

Belzer loves belly rubs, no matter how small they are.

[luarien]

I am almost certain I got a chemical burn from a Thai beef dish once.

I have eaten reaper salsa and enjoyed it.

I out spice'd my Pakistani ex.

I am what more mediocre white men wish they were when they lie at Buffalo Wild Wings about spice tolerance.

I will dismiss boring, pointless scoville chasing sauces while happily eating something far hotter with flavor in its heart.

[queenofbaws]

hello friends!!! a quick trivia tuesday while i work on getting caught up on some stuff here!!

feat. trivia for both ghost hunting au and the (almost)s! (there are SLIGHT spoilers for both ahead, so you’ve been warned!)

ghost hunting au

conrad’s whole obsession with dead bodies in bathtubs is based ENTIRELY on an absolutely batshit insane conversation/fight i had with my brother. every single person in our family has called him an idiot for it. he does not relent. no part of the argument makes sense. he does not care. i needed to spread the story of that argument far and wide so i wasn’t the only person suffering under the weight of its idiocy.

the misspelled hoodies gag LED TO the idea for the group’s name, and not the other way around skldfskdjflskdf literally the scene with the hoodies was one of the very first scenes that i wrote, and i wasn’t sure WHAT the ghost hunting crew’s name was going to be, i just knew i wanted it to be something that offered a totally dumb as fuck misspelling opportunity alkdsfjaskldjf creeps just worked a little TOO well. ;P

in my original plan for who ya gonna call?, the creeps were, in fact, going to make it successfully to the blackwood sanatorium, where they would have a totally normal, totally uneventful/boring filming session among all the dusty shit. the joke being, of course, that it was only once they got back to the “normal” lodge that all the ghostly shit would happen. this got scrapped for...reasons. reasons i’m hoping to reveal in the near future.

the (almost)s

i gave the curator that quick, QUICK cameo in chapter 19 as a sneaky little suggestion that maybe the veracity of everything from that point on was perhaps in question ;) at least in MoM, we only really “saw” the curator in his repository OR inside the story itself if a character was about to make a really dangerous decision, soooOOOOOO...however, i do have to say, if i’d been writing t(a) TODAY, i think i would’ve had to make the driver anthony instead. just like. how the FUCK would i have been able to pass that up????????

a not-insignificant portion of the ending where they (starve) was written at a buffalo wild wings where @unicornaffair​ and i ate chicken and deeply worried everyone sitting around us. that’s not even MENTIONING how much of it was planned at a wendy’s. idk about HER, but apparently I do some of my best planning covered in french fry grease, so.

the use of parens in the chapter titles, though seemingly arbitrary, i PROMISE has a purpose!!!!!!!! it’s just a really stupid one!!!! since the title of the fic itself is the (almost)s, i meant for those parens to signal something that had ALMOST happened...or that happened in a way that was unintended/unexpected, if that makes ANY kind of sense outside of my head. probably not. but bear with me: the chapter ‘the ending where they (escape)’ becomes ‘the ending where they almost escape.’ josh stays behind, after all, and the argument can be made that none of them ever REALLY escape from what happened on blackwood. ‘the ending where they (starve),’ becomes ‘the ending where they almost starve.’ they sure eat something, huh? ;P even ‘where there’s (a kiss),’ sam and josh kiss, sure, but that was a surprise - chris and ash come awfully, awfully close, but don’t. it amused ME, using those parens, is what i’m saying. it amused ME. hehehe.

[mxndoscyarika]

The Pedro Boys vs. Spicy Food

Author’s note: I initially meant to keep this within the PNWC, but then I felt like it was too niche to NOT share it on here. So...here you go!

Din/Mando:

Is he really a mandalorian if he can’t handle spicy food???

Of course he can handle spicy food; in fact, he seeks it out

This guy’s gastrointestinal system is stronger than beskar

Beats all the spicy food challenges with barely a drop of sweat on his forehead (not that anyone will see, anyways)

Is THAT person who adds hot sauce to everything whenever possible

Thinks sriracha is the same as ketchup

Understands that some of the best preserved/fermented foods are the best BECAUSE they’re so spicy it prevents it from spoiling

Javi:

Look

He’s not a weakling, okay, he’s from Texas and grew up eating various forms of Mexican food

He can handle a bit of spicy food, but only up to the American level of spice, which is sort of hot but not face-melting

Can probably eat a raw jalapeno with a straight face

Unless it’s one of the really spicy ones

Then he’s suffering

Sweats when the food is too spicy for him, creating a beautiful sheen to his skin

His S.O. probably thinks he looks really sexy, because that neck? Shining with sweat? Javi won’t be the only one sweating

Frankie:

Eats spicy food once in a while, like hot cheetos or buffalo wings

Can handle Taki’s-level of spiciness, but he still makes a face every time

Pope teases him about it

Generally stays away, because his stomach doesn’t react well to certain spices

But if it’s a special occasion? Why not?

He has a glass of milk, beer, or ranch on standby constantly

Gotta be prepared just in case, right?

One time he and the boys were at Buffalo Wild Wings, and Benny made him try the “Blazing” flavor for shits and giggles

There were very few giggles, but there were lots of shits

Marcus:

This is a guy who likes spicy food, but only if it’s truly meaningful

A spicy cioppino? Sign him the fuck up

A good plate of tacos with spicy salsa? Yessssssssssssssss he would put it everywhere like a Jackson Pollock painting

You’re not gonna catch him eating the level 5 spiciness of Thai red curry

He tried it once and nearly passed out, because this is Asian-level spiciness we’re talking about here

He generally likes milder spice levels, but he can handle a bit of spice if there’s no other option

Gets a runny nose when the food is too spicy for him, but doesn’t sweat

Is the kind of person who will eat ice cream to get rid of the burning instead of drinking milk

Whiskey:

He likes spicy food

Automatically reaches for whatever hot sauce is available when the food is too bland

He knows how to handle spice...kind of

The burn of cayenne peppers is familiar, and wakes him right up

But he’s also mostly familiar with spicy food in the scope of American cuisine

Some of the spiciest foods he’s ever eaten were on missions to other countries

After numerous stomach aches and countless glasses of milk (who knew he was lactose intolerant?) he tries to play things safe

It doesn’t mean he won’t try the ghost pepper challenge because Tequila did it, though

Ezra:

This man has been to many places and eaten many things to survive

He can handle a little bit of spicy food, ok?

Some plants are just naturally spicy, and there’s something about the way they tingle his mouth is alluring

Has totally bought and eaten ultra-spicy foods when he’s bored

What else is he going to do? It’s not like he has anything else to keep his mouth busy

If you know what I mean

Has also accidentally gone down on someone after eating spicy crisps

Needless to say, the object of his affections was NOT happy

Maxwell:

Thinks water is spicy

Black pepper doesn’t even EXIST in his mansion, the poor cooks are suffering

One time he bit into one(1) chili flake and started hacking up a lung

He’s the type of person who orders something that’s marked as “spicy” and asks to make it not spicy

Thinks the word “zesty” is the same as a food being “spicy”

When he bites into a peppercorn, he looks like he’s in the middle of labor

His entire upper body turns redder than his date’s lipstick

Tears start pouring down his face, and sweat makes his hair stick to his forehead

He has a (literal) meltdown

Rips off his tie and unbuttons his shirt because “it’s too hot!”

[utterlyinevitable]

hc about what happened in the time jump for the bryce and raf routes to fix this mess? Make the lack of progression make sense! please and thank you

Sorry it’s taken a while to get these two done, i’ve been too busy living in my carefully curated Ethan timeline 😅 You can find Ethan x MC During the Time Jump here. (raf will be another post) 

Bryce x MC During the Time Jump

After the gala, things weren’t that much different between them. 

The most notable difference was the intimacy. It seemed stronger, deeper. Effortless. 

They weren’t casual anymore that much was certain. They weren’t just fucking for fun. They were making love to last a life time. Their bodies knew one another in a tale as old as time.

But they’re both too timid to admit it. They won’t say the weighted phrase until they’re certain life and residency won’t tear them apart.

MC spent any free time she could having dinners with Keiki and Bryce. MC did most of the cooking but Bryce was the best sous chef learning how to adventure past pasta. The two doctor’s helping the teen out with her homework however they could. As smart as they are, they don’t understand Common Core...

But then Ethan turning the hospital into a greater version of the clinic meant MC was constantly busy. She barely even had 30 minutes to grab lunch. And sometimes she was even much too tired for drinks at Donahue’s.

Bryce had to lean on his surgical acquaintances a lot more now that his internal medicine buddies weren’t around. The clinic hadn’t trickled down to the surgical department; mostly because there were only so many ORs and you couldn’t rush procedures.

The week before Thanksgiving Bryce and Keiki were invited to MC’s apartment to celebrate with her roommates on their only day off together in weeks. 

Despite the exhaustion everyone felt, they were up early and super cheery. 

Sienna did most of the cooking with MC and Aurora lending a hand. Bryce and Jackie were on drinks duty and Elijah was in charge of entertainment. 

They all crowded around the dining table on the matching chairs and ones from their bedroom desks in order to accommodate. It was a mismatch but it was perfect. 

Conversation flowed freely and everyone said what they’re thankful for and what they think the upcoming year will hold.  

Then out of seemingly nowhere Keiki brought up boarding school.

Bryce looked at her with utter shock. The other’s asked questions about it. 

Keiki shrugged saying, “it’s just an idea. I can’t live with Bryce forever”. 

It was true, but doesn’t mean Bryce felt a little sad at his sister leaving all too soon.  

Christmas came sooner than anyone realized. 

MC saw her family the weekend before the holiday as became her tradition since med school. 

Since Bryce’s call to his mother about the funds to send Keiki to boarding school, she was sending him more messages and asking Keiki to come home for the holiday. She offered to pay for first class flights for her two darling children to come home. 

Both Lahela’s were against it.

Bryce took off as much time as he could to spend with the kid before she goes to school. But there’s only a handful of days he could take off at the busiest time of the year.

He managed to get Christmas and the day after off, and a half day on Christmas Eve.

Eve evening, Bryce came home to half priced decorations unceremoniously scattered about his living room, and Keiki and Mc standing on the couch trying to hang a daisy chain banner that looked like kindergarteners made it.

He couldn’t help but smile and pull MC into the biggest hug. She made everything 1000x better. 

The small family spent the evening eating and laughing and decorating the table top tree MC and Keiki picked up at the Walgreens down the street.

Cuddled up on the sofa in each other’s arms and Keiki on the makeshift bed she’d been sleeping on since her arrival, they watched classic Christmas movies and ate chocolate. It was perfect. 

Except MC had to work the next evening.

The amount of patients coming through Edenbrook’s doors tripled in the upcoming days and kept everyone busy.

Luckily the group of friends were able to spend New Years together. 

There wasn’t a single question as to if they were kissing at midnight. 

Bryce started kissing MC during the countdown; from her neck, up her jaw to her ear, cheeks, to the tip of her nose and then her lips at midnight. 

Shortly after the brief celebrations with the others, the two retired to her bedroom and kept ringing in the new year the right way.  

Keiki leaves for boarding school a few days after New Years. It was a very emotional journey down to Connecticut. 

Bryce was endlessly thankful MC accompanied him. Without her he’s pretty sure if would have cried a lot more on the drive home. And he probably would have stopped off at some sketchy gas station for a pick-me-up snack. Thankfully, MC suggested they hit Buffalo Wild Wings before entering the city instead. 

The couple thought Keiki being gone would give them more time together.

They were so wrong.

Mc got busier and busier and her time off didn’t coincide with his schedule, and everything got so damn complicated.

They hadn’t seen one another properly outside the hospital that wasn’t in passing in weeks.

So Bryce carved out some time around Valentine’s Day. 

MC was too busy to even realize the significance of the day. Every single day melded together to the point she didn’t know what was up or down, the month and barely clocked the time. 

She was leaning against the nurse’s station rapidly filling out charts when Bryce made a move. 

He slid up next to her, rubbed her shoulders and told her to take break with him. 

“Bryce I can’t I have patients. You see that line don’t you?”

“You haven’t taken lunch yet,” he said simply. He dropped his hands and turned around and called, “Hey Inès, MC is going on lunch!”

“Enjoy!” the senior resident called back. 

Bryce folded up the charts, handed them to Sarah behind the desk and dragged MC by both the wrists down the hall to the elevator. 

“Where are we going?” MC asked. 

Bryce may have set up a little rendezvous spot in a shut down inpatient wing. He had some take out he picked up from the café around the corner set up by the window and two clinical chairs. On the still-made bed was a stuffed bear holding a “Be Mine” heart and chocolate that he certainly did not steal from the gift shop. 

“The last time we were in one of these something really magical happened,” he said as he closed the door behind them. 

“The only thing magic was your hands.” MC wrapped her arms around his neck and pecked his lips. 

The evening of the group’s night on the town started off rough and stressful.

Bryce admitted he applied for a transfer to MK. He needs to be in Boston or really any hospital within driving distance of his sister’s school. She didn’t fly all the way out here just to be abandoned by him again.

MC understood - of course she understood his reason for staying here. She just didn’t know what to do for herself. They hadn’t talked about the long term, if they were going to try and be close. They hadn’t talked about their future at all, actually. The only times they did Keiki was the main subject. 

And she guessed she just had to apply to places and hope for the best. She knew where he’d be and now she needs to figure out if she fits into that.  

When applications got sad and boring the group got all dolled up and went out for a drink. Or six. Enough alcohol to forget the awkwardness that was earlier in their apartment. To forget the looming uncertainty of their unofficial relationship. 

Bryce was committed. MC was committed. They just weren’t vocal about their devout commitment. 

They got so drunk and ended up at the helipad on top of Edenbrook.

Cracking beers in hand, dancing and singing and enjoying the evening to it’s fullest. Bryce held her close and they lamented on the view as they sat against the wall, anticipating the sunrise over the horizon. 

The nightly breeze picked up. He rubbed patterns up and down her arms and she drew circles at his inner thigh. 

MC looked at him, their eyes locking.

Bryce’s lips turned upwards in a weighted smile. MC leaned her forehead against his and let out the sigh she didn’t know she was holding in. 

He kissed the corner of her mouth. Then her cheek. Then her nose. Then her neck. Her hands gripping to the lapels of his sports coat. 

They went back to his place and they didn’t talk about the future at all. Both of them clinging to the here and now. 

That evening they didn’t have sex. They held one other the entire night. They fell asleep to the sound of the other’s heartbeat.  

Small pleasantries were exchanged in the morning along with light kisses. 

For another time that year, they both felt the change. 

Edenbrook’s last day came and they were both in their feelings. Bryce was set to start at MK in a few weeks time and MC still didn’t know where she was going. Not a single application response on the east coast had come back yet. 

Bryce was standing outside with his best friends when the lights of Edenbrook finally went off that fateful day. 

Minutes later MC walked out. He noticed how her features, mood and hopes simultaneously fell lower than he’d seen in a while.

Her eyes found him right away, his arms waiting for her. She melted into his hug. Deep in his embrace with all her friends chattering around them, a part of her hoped they could compromise. There was so much more to explore between them. This couldn’t be the end. 

The entire Boston Bucket List event was bittersweet. As much as they enjoyed the escapades and these memories with their friends Bryce and MC just wanted some time alone. They needed time together to combat the unknown. 

By the time it was MC’s turn she chose a total cop-out. A kiss with Bryce. 

A kiss she hoped encompassed every feeling she was too scared to say. A kiss that told him just how much the uncertainty of their future was eating her up inside. A kiss he desperately needed as well. 

________________________________________

Masterlist

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Bryce

@eleanorbloom @weaving-in-words

Bryce HCs

@aworldoffandoms

[angesaurus]

I have my meeting (phone call, not zoom thank god) with our teacher later today. I have been thinking HARD about all of this and while I’m not happy with how she handled some stuff, I can tell how hard she is trying and what a challenge the tech stuff is for her and I know she doesn’t choose the curriculum. But I am going to tell her my thoughts on screen time, his struggles, his lack of confidence now, and how bored he is and ask if she recommends we go to the counselor. The specials are saving him right now. He looooves them. And he loves math and he loved the science portion she did. I’m hoping that he just keeps finding things to enjoy and it gets easier.

Last night I went HARD at the consignment sale for the kids. Lots of pajamas and Cecilia needed long sleeve shirts. I think this weekend I’ll make sure to go through all the clothes and start taking out her summer stuff. Fun. I need to go shopping for me too. I have no clothes 😭 not like I go anywhere but it would be nice to have some cozy things for fall and winter and maybe new mom jeans.

My mom mentioned taking the kids tomorrow for the weekend until Monday (no school) and I hope she does. Could use some Dan & Angela time alone even if we just watch the office and go grocery shopping together. Saturday I have my hair cut appt and Sunday I have a baby shower. We’re supposed to paint the back room Saturday too. My car is also getting an oil change Monday. I had thought about clocking out early or taking a half day but then I was like well wouldn’t it be nice to save my leftover hours for actual half days on like a Friday? I THINK we are closed for Columbus Day (I know, problematic) so maybe I’d take that Friday before into a half day. I have 37 hours to play with (not counting the 40 hours I’m rolling over and the 32 hours I have planned around Christmas!!!)

I am .... NOT mentally stable about this baby shower. It’s for one of my closest friends (there is 4 of us from college) and while I am so happy to celebrate this for her especially since she has celebrated 3 weddings, 3 bridal showers, 4 baby showers (hi yes I’m the extra one that had 2 baby showers 💁🏻‍♀️).... it’s just ... COVID. I do have a black sparkly mask to match my outfit. Even Cecilia was invited but I declined her invite. Who brings a baby to a shower during pandemic??

Last night I drove past a Buffalo Wild Wings and it was packed and I thought people really just are ok with being served at a (not that good) chain restaurant by people in masks and face shields while 200,000 Americans are dead because of the negligence of our government. I can’t ever imagine eating at a restaurant again. But sure get your wings on while you watch a football game with an empty stadium!!!

I’ve walked everyday (averaging around 30 min) and I’m still meditating and doing low carb and i am down 3lbs this week. Now if only I could stop being anxious about the world.

Also if my husband could EVER just remember on his own to pay his car payment that would be GREAT. But nope when he’s out of the shower I will have to say “can you pay your car payment” and he will roll his eyes and I’ll say it’s due today so anytime thanks and he will roll his eyes harder. I’ve asked him 6 times to find out the remainder of the loan and he claims the info is not on available on the website. I don’t underhand why I have to do EVERYTHING FINANCIALLY AROUND HERE. I told him one month he would be in charge of paying all the bills and he was like yeah ok and I said watch I won’t pay ANY of them (that are not automatic) and he kind of had this look like she’s lying and maybe I am because anxiety but I am so annoyed that 2% of my life is paying bills and making sure the money is there and he just doesn’t think to pay anything in his name. It DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!!!!

Anyway. Happy Friday. We’re still in a pandemic. Wash your hands.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #462

i am way too tired to mentally flip through lyrics to put here, rip

Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?) I have zero idea. When did you last travel alone? Where were you going? The last time I visited Sara in Illinois. Do you take your shoes off when you come inside? Yes. What was the first color you ever dyed your hair? I think I got purple highlights? What was the first social media site you ever used? MySpace. Do you have any exes you really regret dating? One. Of all your friends & family, who has the most nicely-decorated home? Sara's house is lovely. Have you ever been catcalled? No. Are you allergic to any dogs? I might be. Have you ever touched a plant and had hives shoot up your arm? No. Do you think dragonflies are cool? Absolutely! What’s your favorite thing to draw? Meerkats!! Did you toss your hat in the air at graduation? Not high. I wanted to keep it. Do you like fudge? I CAN FUCKING DESTROY SOME FUDGE. Are you an affectionate person? Very. Name something you have to do today: Girt and I are hangin', making fun of bad Netflix anime and going to Buffalo Wild Wings. :^) Would you ever write to a death row inmate? No. People don't get on death row for no reason. I ain't got shit to say to them. Do you reckon online friendships are real? No fucking shit. Most of my most genuine friendships began online. Do you like Slipknot? Yep. Can we talk about how fuckin BADASS Corey's new mask is btw?????????? What do you think of Gorillaz? I like "Feel Good Inc." and one other song I can't remember the name of. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? BOTH!!!!! :') What is the cutest Halloween costume for a baby to wear? GUYS I recently saw a picture of a little baby dressed up as a Little Oogie Boogie and it made my ovaries cry. Which of your friends is the tallest? Which of them is the shortest? Jesus, Girt is a giant. I don't know about my shortest... If you could re-paint your bedroom, what color would you choose? Pastel pink. :') What has been the best night of your life so far? Why? Probably something sexual so let's keep it on the down low lmfaooo Would you ever even think about taking part in a wet t-shirt contest? Uh, no. Even if I WAS confident in my body. Is you hair color the same as it was when you were a baby? No. It was dirty blonde. Have you ever been in trouble for being too loud? Ha, yeah, at school with friends. Not big trouble or anything, we were just hushed. Did you ever attend a wedding that was a complete disaster? No. What is something that you were surprised you were able to do? Hm. What is the most bullshit-sounding true fact that you know? Male cats have spiked penises lkasdjfal;kje;kjwr it's something to do with preventing other tomcats from mating with her. What Oreo flavor is your favorite? Gimme that Double Stuffed, friend. Sour gummy worms or plain gummy worms? SOUR. Ever been in a talent show? How many times? What did you do? Nope. Ever try out for the talent show and not make it? Did you cry? Nope. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever cried about? Y'all when I was a very little kid, during my older sister's b-day party, I sobbed because I couldn't pin the tail properly on the donkey lmaoooo How do you feel about the use of nuclear weapons? Absolutely fucking barbaric. What song has the most meaning to you? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne. What is your favourite dinosaur? Spinosaurus!!!! :') Have you ever made bread? No. Has anything ever fallen asleep on you? Pets, a baby I was watching after, and Jason. Ever been dominated in a game you were/are really good at? yep alskdjfla;jwej Have you ever decided to set fire to something out of anger? No. Would you rather be a house pet or a wild animal? Wild animal, I guess? Have you ever listened to a group of chanting monks? I haven't. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? Probably of Teddy. I've still yet to decide on the total design of his tribute tat I'm getting. Do you like the smell of men’s colognes better than woman’s perfumes? I think so, yeah. How mad would you be if someone copied your original work (story, poem)? I'd be pretty fuckin pissed. Have you ever blown something up in science class? Ha, no. Have you ever gotten a serious wound from shaving? Not serious, no. Have you invented anything, only to find out it actually exists? I feel like I have? Ever realize you never truly LOVED your first love? Absolutely not. I loved him. Would you want a Bachelor/Bachelorette party before you get married? Sure, sounds fun. Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else? As of very recently, I returned to using pads. I used tampons for most of my maturity, but I got annoyed with them for TMI reasons and resorted back to pads, even though I don't like them either. Have you ever dated a model? No. What is your ultimate goal in life? To die happy with my life and what I (hopefully) accomplished. What colour are the socks you’re wearing today? I’m not wearing any. Who was the last person you sent a Facebook message to and what did you say? Girt. It was something regarding how I once considered doing the suicide mission at BWW where you eat a select number of their hottest wings, but I didn't wanna die via chicken. :^) Are you tall, short or average? Would you change this? I'm average in height. I wouldn't change it, nah. Especially now that Girt and I are together the ridiculous height difference is hilarious but also cute lmao. Have you ever worked in a store while someone shoplifted there? Like, while I was there? No. Have you ever had casual sex? Nahhhh. What’s your favourite flavour of frosting? Chocolate. @_@ When you think of your childhood, are the memories mostly happy or sad? Mostly happy, I guess. What is it like being you? Is it enjoyable? It's very boring with few sources of joy. What are your thoughts on the cause of homosexuality? I would *assume* it's a genetic mutation. Reason being, having a romantic partnership without the ability to reproduce defies the motives of science. There is nothing, absolutely NOTHING, wrong with said (and hypothetical) genetic mutation, though. Mutations are just another part of science. They occur naturally. What subjects did you find most interesting in school? Least? Most interesting: literature/English (especially reading like, old mythology and epics and stuff like that), LOTS of branches of science (but primarily genetics), art, and I looooved my four semesters of German. Least: ANY and ALL math, history, economics, social studies... that kind of stuff. Which do you enjoy more–hot or cold beverages? Cold, for sure. What were some of your favorite bands from childhood? Green Day was one. Would you be more afraid of drowning or being buried alive? Buried alive, for sure. It would be much, much slower. Should you really be doing something more productive right now? Well, I SHOULD be sleeping. Today's going to be a long day, because when Girt comes over, he has a tendency to not leave until like fuckin midnight or later alksdjfl;waje Have you ever lived out of your car? No. Does your family own more than two houses? HUNNY we r poor. A relative just committed a very serious crime, do you turn them in? It depends on the exact crime, but odds are, yes. If you're endangering others, byyyyeeee. You’re in the woods, alone, at night…are you honestly not afraid? Bitch I'm terrified. I have zero survival skills. You are on life support, what would you want a loved one to do about it? For the love of god, please kill me. Your child has only a while to live, do you still enroll them in school? That would be up to them. Also, define "a while." How would you feel if you met your idol and they ended up being rude? WELP I have a tattoo in his honor so that would suck ass lmao According to the tale, was Eve wrong for eating and sharing the apple? "God was wrong for even setting up an apple tree and making up rules in the first place." <<<< There ya go. And the punishment was fucking ludicrously extreme. Are you working on any goals? Yes. I'm currently going to the gym regularly to try and better my physical health and then find a job. I know that being connected sounds odd, but trust me: I can barely carry out very simple tasks just because I have absolutely ZERO stamina to do almost anything. I need energy and endurance. I'm also working towards developing some self-love. Which parent named you? I wanna say my mom. Are you currently frustrated with someone? I mean, myself. Aforementioned self-love is hard. I'm just annoyed my head is so reluctant to accept that I'm not a piece of shit for a million reasons. Why have most of your past relationships ended? They all ended for different reasons, really. Are you having any online conversations, currently? I'm not. What’s on your mind? I'm just tired and going back to bed real soon. Have you ever had an argument with a teacher? No.

[ugly-anastasia]

The Last 10 Years | Oneshot

Note: for the October Jekyll and Hyde task (write a one-shot featuring your character as first the protagonist and then the antagonist) I had an idea to try and tell Annie and Charlie’s story in the style of the musical The Last Five Years, since that is kind of the goal of that show’s storytelling style. Basically the premise is the same story told from two different perspectives, one in chronological order and the other in reverse-chronological order. Just wanted to clarify that in case the format is confusing. Enjoy!

Warnings for: alcohol, references to hazing, lots of messy/unhealthy relationship dynamics, misogyny, some nsfw topics

2021, Annie

The last time Anastasia Tremaine saw Charles King, he was shimmering. 

The morning light got in her eyes, Tennessee June out in all its glory as Annie loaded the last box into the Uber that would take her to the airport. Out of the corner of her eye, Annie could see Charlie bending down to give Harlynne and Jaxson each one last hug. The early summer sunshine seemed to sparkle on his Dri-Fit Vanderbilt Tennis shirt because of course it did. The world seemed to part for Charlie King and everything that made Annie squint and stumble and fall just painted him in brighter glory.

It was what she had always liked about him, wasn’t it? That she could look at him and see the sun? Annie’s life had always been defined by the people she surrounded herself with. Rodmilla Tremaine’s screechy daughter, Ella Ashbourne’s bitchy stepsister with the bad fake tan, and then Charlie King’s perky young wife. 

Maybe that was her mistake from the beginning. How was she going to define herself now?

2011, Charlie

The first time Charles King saw Anastasia Tremaine, she was shimmering. 

Literally. Covered in silver sparkles. The glitter bomb was a new ritual to welcome the Alpha Phi pledges, replacing the traditional surprise Jägerbomb after a lengthy hazing investigation that left the sisters scrambling to replace their traditions with those less explicitly related to alcohol. Of course, it was the first mixer of the year, so alcohol of all kinds was flowing through the Kappa Alpha house, just with enough plausible deniability to say that technically nobody underage was encouraged to drink. 

Luckily for the majority of the attendees at this mixer, they tended to have the kind of connections to get a good enough lawyer to get out of that stuff.

Charlie saw Annie sparkling as she stood on the coffee table and glitter rained down on her, shrieking in disgust (but maybe soaking up the attention just a little bit). And he knew that was his girl. She was attractive in a self-conscious kind of way, with her long legs and big nose, like maybe she was afraid she stuck out too much. It was easy to see through fake freshman confidence, and Charlie could already see her posh British accent impressing his parents. 

He hung back. He didn’t say anything yet. But Charlie had a feeling he would run into Annie Tremaine again.

2019, Annie

It was really quite plain and simple: Charlie was cheating.

Annie believed she was justified in going through his phone, because he was cheating. The signs were everywhere. He was always “going out to happy hour” after work even though he hadn’t been interested in “happy hour” since he’d started at the accounting firm six years ago. He seemed distracted lately. And his little icon always dropped off of the map on Find My Friends the same time every day. 

So when Charlie was in the shower, Annie reached across the bed and unlocked his phone. Unknown number.

Tonight again?

No, not tonight

When??? 😩😩😩 

Tomorrow?

Ur gonna make me wait until tomorrow

The anticipation will make it sweeter 😉

And there was her proof. “CHARLIE!” Annie roared, jumping out of bed and pounding on the shower door. She was justified. She had-- what was it they called it on those police procedurals? Probable cause? Annie had probable cause. Charlie came stumbling out of the shower, wrapping the towel around him and looking at her blearily. “Whaa-”

“Explain this!”

Charlie just stared at her. “Did you go through my phone?”

2013, Charlie

The plain and simple explanation was that Annie asked Charlie out. 

Two years after that first party where they locked eyes, after Annie had attracted a few whispers for stumbling through some on-off relationships with the more sensitive of the KA brothers, Annie went right up to Charlie at homecoming and asked him out. Charlie didn’t plan on getting tied down to a college girl right after he graduated. And no, he didn’t leverage any kind of power he might have had, because Annie had just applied for an internship at the accounting firm he and his father both worked at. That was her choice. Wasn’t that what feminism was all about or something?

Annie asked Charlie out with the brazen confidence of a brand new Co-Chair of Philanthropy, a confidence she would confess, taking a sip of her cosmo, actually came from Charlie’s encouragement. Last spring, right before graduation, Charlie had told Annie to go after her dreams, and Annie had decided that her dreams lied with Charlie King.

That was what Charlie had to explain to people when they raised eyebrows at his relationship with Annie. She had asked him out. It was even possible she was playing him to get her foot in the door at the firm. Right?

2015, Charlie and Annie

Charlie and Annie had a fight the night before their wedding. It started at the rehearsal dinner, when Charlie’s best man, a lanky KA brother named Ross, got into a tiff with Drizella over something political, and then Annie whispered to Charlie to shut him up, and Charlie didn’t, and now they were in their individual hotel rooms, shouting at each other on the phone.

“He’s my friend, Annie, I don’t control him!”

“I’m not asking you to control him, but you could have pulled him for a chat! Told him to tone it down!”

“Annie, why would that--”

“You have no problem doing that with me when I’m being a bitch! And I’ve done it with you when you’re being stupid! What’s the difference?”

“Annie, I--”

“I know why. It’s because you care more about fitting in with your stupid friends than you care about me! Grow up, Charlie, you’re getting bloody married!”

“Annie!” 

Silence.

“Look, Annie, I don’t know what you want me to say. I can’t travel back in time and do it different.”

“I want you to say you’re sorry!”

“Alright, Annie, I’m sorry.”

More silence. For a moment, Annie had a burning feeling that something might not be right. On the other side of the wall, Charlie had the same feeling.

They both wrote it off as cold feet. And the next day, they had a beautiful wedding, and it even made the society pages, and Annie had never gotten so many likes on Instagram. And Charlie’s mother was proud. And the fight was forgotten.

Until it wasn’t. 

2013, Annie 

Annie asked Charlie out because her mother said she should, and because her friends said that he was a sweet guy but he would never make the first move, and because a cute self-help book she had read said that if Annie didn’t take control of her destiny now, destiny would take control of her. Annie was a strong woman, and Charlie was cute and well-connected, and maybe he was a lot older, but that was the kind of man Annie wanted, anyway. Someone mature. Someone who wouldn’t walk out when things got hard. Charlie seemed steady.

And yes, maybe she told him that she had gotten her confidence from his little drunken pep talk that he gave her right before he graduated, even though that wasn’t really true. And maybe she faked it the first time they hooked up... and the second and third time, too. And maybe Annie swore she listened to all of his mixtapes, even when she found them quite boring. Men had fragile little egos, and Annie knew she could use that to her advantage. 

It didn’t matter, because at the end of things, Annie knew that she and Charlie would be perfect together. What was a little white lie here and there, a little corner cutting? It was destiny and she was just helping it along.

2019, Charlie

Cheating didn’t look good. It never did. Charlie had a kid, and another on the way, and a wife who was perfect on paper. Ross’s stare across the table at Buffalo Wild Wings (an old heartbreak haunt from the Vandy days) said all of that. But Charlie believed he deserved some sympathy. 

“She’s crazy, man!” Charlie argued.

“Charlie, you’re not supposed to call women crazy anymore. Erica--”

“I don’t care what bullshit Erica read on TheSkimm!”

“Charlie! That’s my wife you’re talking about!”

“Sorry,” Charlie grumbled, biting into his buffalo wing morosely. “But I think if she was paranoid enough that I was cheating on her that she had to go through my phone, then there’s a bigger problem. And, I’m just saying, she could’ve just asked me.”

“And you would have told her the truth?”

Charlie hmphed and threw the bone down on his plate, reaching for another wing. 

2011, Annie

The first time Annie saw Charlie, it was from behind.

But what a glorious back of his head it was! Thick chestnut-brown hair, gelled into a perfect side part but not too much that it couldn’t be tousled a little. A pink golf shirt-- there was nothing like a man who knew how to dress. And he was moving with purpose, with animation, like he knew he was the brightest star in the room and everyone around him was so lucky to bask in his light.

He was the shimmering outline of a boy you could fill in with all your hopes. And the other girls had told Annie to stay away from the older boys, that they would play with your heart and drop you by Christmas to ring-by-spring a girl more their speed. But Annie could see the pieces clicking into place. She had been raised to believe if you worked hard and wanted something badly enough and if you weren’t afraid to get your hands a little dirty, you could have whatever you wanted. And Annie wanted this. Badly.

Annie was tired of standing in the shadows. She wanted to attach herself to a boy who commanded the light, so she could shine, too. And she had finally found him.

2021, Charlie

The last time Charlie saw Annie, it was from behind, as she climbed into the car and didn’t bother to give him one last wave before speeding down the highway with the life he had spent the past ten years building.

Annie had gotten everything she wanted in the divorce. It was hard to sympathize with a cheater, especially one who already seemed to have a backup life ready to go as soon as his ex wife and kids were out of the way. Charlie didn’t really feel that way. He mostly resented Annie for blowing this up the way she had, turning one little affair into a marriage-shattering event, fleeing the country with both kids in tow. Charlie didn’t care what Ross said. She was crazy.

Mostly, Charlie mourned what could have been. He could have gone on having it all. He was doing a good job of balancing it. And he had been raised to believe that if he just managed everything tactfully enough, he could skate through life unencumbered, with nobody to say no to what he wanted. For the first time, he couldn’t. And it made Charlie livid.

But maybe it was time for a fresh start. He had Jenna, his beautiful girlfriend. He had his house, still. He had his Nashville friends, who had eventually come around to agree with Charlie that he was in the right (and Charlie believed that they liked Jenna better, anyway). 

The worst thing that Annie had done, Charlie decided, was think too highly of him. He wasn’t a man of principle or honor, he just projected that image in the settings where it was necessary. And she had been naive enough to believe in that. 

Charlie went back in the house and pulled up Jenna’s contact on his phone. From now on, he wasn’t going to lie about the kind of man he was. And hopefully, that would prevent him from repeating this whole mess over again.