#at any rate this is exactly how a karkat/vriska sitcom would play out

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Karkat: VRISKA, THERE IS A DEAD TROLL IN OUR HIVE

Vriska: Oh, heyyyyyyyy, how did he get here?

Karkat: VRISKAAA WHAT DID YOU DO?

Vriska: Me, uh, I didn't do this

Karkat: EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED VRISKA

Vriska: I've never seen him 8efore in my life.

Karkat: WHY WOULD YOU KILL THIS PERSON VRISKA

Vriska: I do not kill people. That is... That is my least favor8 thing to do.

Karkat: TELL ME, VRISKA, EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE DOING BEFORE I CAME HIVE

Vriska: Alright... well, I was upstairs

Karkat: OKAY...

Vriska: I was, uh, sitting in my respite8lock........

Karkat: YES?

Vriska: Reading a 8ook........

Karkat: GO ON...

Vriska: And, uh, this guy walked in........

Karkat: OKAY...

Vriska: So I went up to him........

Karkat: YES...

Vriska: And I sta88ed him thirty-seven times in the chest.

Karkat: ...

Vriska: ........

Karkat: VRISKAAAA THAT KILLS PEOPLE

Vriska: Oh! Well, I didn't know that!

Karkat: HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW THAT?

Vriska: Yeah I'm in the wrong here. I suck.

Karkat: ...WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS HANDS?

Vriska: What's that?

Karkat: HIS, HIS HANDS? WHY ARE THEY MISSING?

Vriska: Well, I uh, kinda cooked them up...

Vriska: And 8 them ::::/

Karkat: ......VRISKA...

Vriska: I, I was hungry and, well, ya, you know when you crave hands, that's-

Karkat: WHY ON ALTERNIA WOULD YOU DO THAT?

Vriska: I was hungry for hands! Give me a 8r8k!

Karkat: ....VRISKAAAAAA...

Vriska: My stomach was m8king the rum8lies-

Karkat: VRISKA!

Vriska: That only hands would satisfy

Karkat: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU VRISKA??

Vriska: Well, I, I kill people and eat hands, that's- that's two things!