#asshole? clenched

[yeehawbvby]

just encountered my first guardian in botw during my first ever attempt at a no-hit run

[insurged]

just an fyi, i'm sorry i'm slow. at everything. replies, dm's, asks, etc. this is a hobby and i'm a tired 580 year old in spirit who works full time in the medical field and will be going to do more schooling for it. i follow people for a multitude of reasons but my vibe is always that i just enjoy seeing your content. i'm not going to put a time limit on when we have to interact/chat and soft block you when you can't meet that deadline. i try to interact or like posts when i can as a silent hello from afar. if you are following my blog and expect me to follow deadlines in terms of writing or even chatting, my blog is not for you. i am also not someone who has puppy dog energy to constantly be on the dash and chat and love everyone.

i am a cryptid old cat. i love from a distance. (◕‿◕) just a gentle reminder that i do this for fun, it's not a job.

[antimonyandthyme]

nothing like driving down a five lane highway in fog so thick you can barely see. i am alone on this road. or am i

[muckyschmuck]

somebody murder me bc i need to leave my apartment but there’s a fucking massive spider who SOMEHOW built a MASSIVE web SMACK DAB in front of my doorway

[every-usami]

[futuristichedge]

Sonic and the Black Knight save me. Save me SATBK

[bibleofficial]

some of the things you say. are very difficult

LISTENNNNNJ

there’s this dictator ..,,,,,

[nathanielfisher]

they dropped the one hundred years of solitude trailer and nobody told meeeeeeee

[feral-and-or-horny]

I've been so stressed lately that I've apparently started clenching my jaw in my sleep again, and now it's hurting 🙃

[daisychain-unchained]

they made a fucking club remix of Jeff's "Dream Brother"

brother, this is a nightmare

[acegodzilla]

Can someone tell my brain that it doesn't actually need to repeatedly analyze every minute facet of an interaction when a stranger is mean to me in public. Thanks.

[swifty-fox]

if you ever feel bad about how dudes in tv shows look imma let you in on a secret cmon lean in close.

They're all holding their breath. They're all suckin it in and holding their breath and flexing they're standing there like fuckin idiots clenching their WHOLE body to look 'sexy' on tv. It's not real,. they dont look like that walking around they gotta consciously decide to do it

Next time you see a guy with abs on tv giving his lines please know he's clenching so hard his ribs hurt

[insurged]

it's not if, but when resi.dent evil 5 gets a remake, they'd better leave the part in where excella is hitting on wesker and he sensually pulls her in by the chin only to chuck her face away from him.

[flowerwiththemachinegun]

I absolutely love fucking the visually impaired. I need you blind fucks. Respectfully ofc. He calls me by whistling and telling me to "search" like I'm his seeing eye dog whenever he loses his glasses 10/10

However, she clicks her tongue and calls me like a cat. Gives me pets before asking me to find her glasses. 20/10

You can literally tell what they want by the urgency in the call. I love it, like yea baby you really can't see a damn thing and you need me.

[masckarlach]

i was abt to tweet somethibf horny then i remembered myself

[literalite]

i can excuse mass murder but i draw the line at being mean to waiters

exactly he's my worst ever